#but i really shouldnt and i know that if i do i will trigger such a bad episode i might end up in the fucking hospital
Note
i feel like alot of ppl (even in system communities) treat alters/parts like they're fictional characters. like i know its common knowledge in system spaces that you shouldnt treat alters like theyre just silly characters & that introjects aren't their source, but not many people actually put that into action.
the whole name discourse for example— if someone's parents named them something that is from another culture, or a name that is a trigger for you, you wouldn't tell them to change their name because thats rude, & they cant just. change their name if they dont want to just because you told them to. but for some reason if an alter in a system formed with that name and identifies with it, its okay to force them to change a part of their identity for you as if theyre not a person????
yeah. I really don't like how people treat alters, with the whole "oh just make them do it" or "make them stop doing that" as If they aren't their own conscious identities. They aren't characters, treat them similar to how you would treat a singlet. If you wouldn't tell a singlet to change their name, don't tell a alter to do it.
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Magenta.
#i lost my job#even though they're not saying its because of my disability it is because of it#I've been applying to places and some of the safety nets i had fell through#im scared right now and feel very betrayed#i got enough to get me through the month but beyond that idk what to do#i have resources im looking into and as most know that doesn't put a dent into finances#i need help#i feel bad for asking and i know i preach people shouldnt feel ashamed#but i do get where folks are coming from with that#the shame is powerful especially when you pride yourself as someone that takes care of themselves#im open to ideas opinions whatever folks want to say#i haven't felt this triggered ptsd wise in a long time past homeless experience and work abuse has been creeping in#I'm trying to get to the good but its really hard seeing it right now after getting screwed for the millionth time#for something i can't control with my body#i guess on a good note that partnership meeting went well#it seems like an excellent opportunity but its also an investment and i don't have the means to put into that right now
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people will go all "just be yourself and love yourself! :)" and then go "if you don't act the way i want, you gotta reprogram your entire way of thinking then reach into the very core of who you are and what makes you you, discard it, and replace it with this better, friendlier, more empathetic version that's coincidentally far more convenient for me to deal with than any other possible compromise we can make that you can do for me but doesn't stretch your mind to nothing but thin bands of what you'd consider 'You' :))))))"
#mine.txt#just thinking about all those 'think positively!' and 'romanticize your life!' posts#like on one hand i can see their merit cause self-hatred though instinctual is ultimately detrimental to your mental health#but on the other hand...some of them (a lot of them) are really just unashamedly asking other people to completely change themselves huh#all in the guise of ''positive thinking'' ''self-love'' and ''betterment'' no less#i suppose i shouldnt be surprised considering most people can barely grasp the concept of someone who Genuinely has muted emotions#as a natural state instead of a depressive symptom#not to mention the human quality of escalating things#so ofc tumblr which seems to currently be in its mental health recovery phase would naturally lean in so hard towards ''radical happiness''#but man sometimes i really do just wanna shake the person from behind the screen and say#'no! dont you understand! this is just how i am! stop implying that everybody who doesnt feel joy at simply waking up is a miserable hag!'#sometimes they dont even imply it they just straight up say it 💀#im honestly fine (as in idc) with seeing them but they remind me so much of those toxic positivity bitches that sell you random hoaxes#and tell you that youre ''ruining their vibes'' when youre not just beaming like the sun every waking second#well idc most of the time that is#sometimes they just trigger my szpd (and my dpd weirdly enough)#with the szpd obviously i dont like being told what to do and what to feel and having some rando assume things about me#but with the dpd its like#oh i must be doing something wrong ofc this stranger on the internet knows more about emotions and feelings than me#cause im a dumbass who doesnt Feel things therefore i must do what they say even to my own detriment#this mainly applies to those guilt-trippy ones so ive learned to steer clear of them#possibly even block the op
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saw jaws for the first time today and i can’t believe despite knowing so much about it through cultural osmosis i had no clue matt hooper existed and i love that funky little guy
#he’s just autistic about sharks and i love him for it. i forgive him for his crimes (being rich)#also his line about ‘having enough of these working class heroes’ or whatever. i was ready to fight him for that one#i knew about concerned police officer and weird old vaguely threatening fisherman but no one ever mentioned the silly little guy who just.#i knew when every jumpscare happened but i didn’t know one of the three main characters existed#he just loves sharks man. man was so funny. ‘hey i was told to tell you guys that you shouldnt all get in that boat’ ‘we’ll do it anyway’#‘okay! they’re going to die :)’#crazwaz posted#id seen the clip of matt discovering the body and the clip of them paddling to shore at the end!!!#but i’d never seen any clip of quint so i figured the one at the end was him and the body discoverer was a random character#he was wearing a wetsuit in the body scene and is seen from far away in behind in the final one so i have the right to not have realized ok#also weirdly enough my submechanophobia was not really triggered at all? which is wild. like one or two times it happened but like. that was#so weird to just. know that normally i’m scared of that kind of thing but it just. didn’t happen? like i’m scared of the jaws animatronic on#the universal ride! it scared me in pics and it scared me when i saw it irl! but bruce? nah she was just fine#that’s another thing i always think of bruce as she/her like. them all using he/him for the shark confused me#my brother mentioned she’s a girl in jaws 3d + in the wild girl sharks are bigger than boys so that’s probably what caused it#but i still think of godzilla as she/her and that one has like no evidence so maybe my brain just does that to them or smth
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I would like to preface this by saying I am not a pro shipper.
Being a pro shipper is not about pedophilia and incest. For many people, it truly is a coping mechanism following pasts of severe trauma. Who are you to tell these people how to live, consume media, and act on the internet? Are you a psychologist? Or do you just have the brain of a 12 year old that makes you throw a tantrum whenever you see people doing something that you can’t comprehend the reasons behind?
If you believe yourself to be in the right, I would actually love to receive any research that supports your thinking. News articles or anything like the Jaws and Lolita effect are not good enough. If you really care about these things and proving me wrong, go out and find a research paper written by someone with a PhD in a social science and send it my way.
// nasty things mentioned
I wasn't saying it isn't a valid way of coping
I was saying it isn't valid if you are actively posting it and shouting how goddam proud you are of the fact that you ship things that are pedophilic/incestual in nature, it does and can be used to enable literal pedophiles and other dangerous people, to pretend it won't or can't means you gotta pull your head out of your ass.
proshippers usually use the excuse that it is to cope as a justification for publically posting this sort of content, whether it is or isn't for that reason should not matter because if your sharing pedophilic/incestual/zoophilic content publically then it is STILL an issue, the reasons why doesn't matter.
also i dont care if your not a proshipper if you endorse people actively posting shit that is pedophilic/incestual/zoophilic in nature... that's still an issue, i don't give a shit what the reason is for why it is STILL bad to post it publically and shout how proud you are of it
#proshitter#proship#i dont care if you are a proshipper and are one due to trauma#you shouldnt be posting artwork or stories that are pedophilic/incestual/zoophilic in nature . ever.#i didnt know that was so fuckin controverisal but apparently it is#keep that shit private because posting it publically can both enable dangerous people and be triggering to minors / other people#proshippers fuck off#antiproship#wont be responding to any other things abt this if they come because this basically has my thoughts abt it#i dont care if ur posting to cope if you are doing so publically and proud then it isnt helping really anyone and is dangerous
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i hate it here
#i wish i could leave. kk be faster at making that ve kincord challenge im gonna go insane in here#i feel so fucking STUPID this just reminds me of the same way i was bullied when i was visibly autistic#made fun of behind your back and being paranoid and knowing everyone hates you and thinks you have a stick up your ass#im just trying to do my job. im just trying to cultivate a better enviroment here#i just want people to stop breaking rules and saying really triggering shit for a joke#but i just feel mocked and laughed at and like a deer in headlights but the headlights are Always on and they are Howling in laughter at#everything i ever say. except for when they are silent#and then i have to delete all my messages and hop ena d pray that they leave me alone if i just delete and move on#i am a fucking moderator and a server co-owner i shouldnt be made to feel like thius#its the same in HHS. this is taking a toll on my mental health#i avoid talking in HHS because of this
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#fuck me fuck me fuck me#my ex texted me last week & ive been so FUCKING conflicted about it (even tho ik i shouldnt give a single fuck)(but i fucking MISS them#EVEN THO ik i REALLY shouldnt)(aaaAAAAA)#but i havent responded yet and i dont Plan to (bc even tho i WANT to ik thats Stupid & a Bad Idea)(& probably entirely self-destructive)#but i HAVENT yet. and i havent seen them in fucking months and. but i just saw them#i just walked past them#and if my friend hadnt been there to pull me along and keep walking me over to where we were headed anyway and then walk me home...#fuck me. fuck. i think id have just... frozen#i almost did anyway#and i KNOW just walking home was the Objectively Correct move but. holy FUCK its taking all my goddamn willpower not to just.#run out into the fuvking night and find them again. what the hell is wrong with me#*i* broke up with THEM. bc they were triggering my rsd and making me spiral ((WHICH wasnt necessarily always their fault!! so i wouldve#been happy to keep managing that myself!! the way i usually do!!)) but more importantly they were APPARENTLY sneaking around behind my back#Still. apparently they were Still sneaking around behind my back.#so i left#and ive regretted that ever since. even though ive always known that was the right choice ive ALWAYS doubted. bc they were so#ugh. FUCK.#i hate everything. its so dark and confusing and terrible and it was so fucking easy to just trust them and love them wholeheartedly and#that was the thing i cant regret. i cant make myself regret that i threw myself into it completely#it was just. so lovely#and everyone keeps telling me that i did nothing wrong & that i made the right choice to take care of myself & that i should just move on#but if it was the right choice why is it so fucking awful?? why is it STILL so FUCKING AWFUL even tho i kinda thought it was getting BETTER#its been fucking MONTHS why do i still want them. why do *i* want to fucking APOLOGIZE for breaking up with them over the ways THEY HURT ME#why is it still so hard to get it through my fucking head that they didnt keep their promises!!#again and again pulling the same bullshit!! this text they sent FIT the FUCKING FORMULA. AS ALL THEIR OTHER ''im sorry can we talk'' ONES#the apology and the excuse and the offer for a conversation ''if youre comfortable and willing'' all followed by something terribly sweet#and totally disarming. and it FUCKING WORKS. EVERY DAMN TIME.#i dont WANT it to. but it DOES. and theres an extremely loud part of me that just wants to run headlong into it & say fuck the consequences#but i SHOULDNT. fucken hell i feel so uncertain abt every decision i made wrt them. but im trying to take care of myself now at least#bee speaks
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just realized i had a fully vegetarian day of eating without trying, which i’ve probably done before but this is the first time i feel like i actually got enough protein too without being like intentional about it. im pretty excited even though it wasn’t all vegan, one meal was and the other wouldve been easily veganize-able if i had vegan cheese. and like as someone who used to be such a picky eater i had a list of foods i’d have to introduce into my diet before being able to even THINK about eating vegan, it’s exciting to see i’ve done enough of that introduction that i can have a day of low-effort eating that’s unintentionally vegan-approaching. like i forget how limited my diet used to be until i actually examine what my current diet looks like and go whoa i wouldn’t have eaten like 2/3rd of this even just a year ago lol. and tbh i dont know if i ever intend on going fully vegan but my goal is to limit myself to maybe cooking with meat and/or dairy only once or twice a week, and the only animal product to keep a staple would be eggs (i want to have my own chickens.)
#unfortunately it’s too easy for me to fall into an orthorexic mindset and trigger unhealthy restriction and binging#and i know vegans say ‘veganism isnt a diet it’s a lifestyle’ but#it’s really not lmao it quite literally is about what you eat and ‘diet’ doesn’t mean ‘fad diet’ or ‘weight loss diet’#it’s just what you eat and unfortunately changing it drastically can b triggering#which is why for now i’m focused on slow#sustainable dietary changes#and an additive mindset of trying new vegan dishes#or introducing ingredients that ive been picky about that are vegan staples#rather than eliminating meat or dairy#maybe once i have a larger repertoire of vegan meals and find it easy enough to meet my protein needs#then i can start deliberately limiting my animal product intake#but also i think about i forget who on radblr has this stance but basically#the idea that veganism shouldnt be encouraged to women because so many of us already have iron deficiency and are more prone to it from#our periods and as women are also more likely to have histories of disordered eating#and are more prone than men to a feeling of individual moral responsibility and guilt#which i think is an interesting argument i do kind of agree and it’s why i dont feel the immediate pressure to go vegan even as some#of my vegan friends guilt me lol#like im sorry im gonna prioritize my health#but i do agree that ULTIMATELY a diet LOW in animal protein is most supportive of physical health even with the above considerations about#anemia and women’s protein needs on their periods#like yes those are good reasons to be critical of some of the popular high carb unsustainable vegan influencer diets#but a diet of mostly plant based protein sources with minimal animal based protein where iron absorptionis a concern is ultimately going to#be more supportive of ur general health than a diet high as high in red meat as the standard american diet#anyways those r my thoughts lol idk where i was going in these tags
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...
#today has been a day. as in time did pass. the earth rotated. and i accomplished very little#bc im just feeling paralyzed and not so good. and i guess thats understandable#like i understand y its happening but its not any less frustrating. mostly its just knowing that i have to make life altering decisions in#the next few weeks. and the pressure of: if i dont decide to go for this one project then they dont get a student and they dont get funding#that makes me pretty nauseous. and knowing i have an interview Thursday that im not ready for and i dont really wanna do#and its a product of not talking to people like a human being. like i just dont interact with people much. when im in the lab i mostly#stand around looking unapproachable or go in when i kno there's no one there and i just dont have close friends so i dont really talk to or#text anyone. i just work and fail to get things done. so then when im in a situation where i have to talk to ppl its all anxious shrapnel#or me dominating the conversation bc i cant stand the pauses and i have so much obsessivly rotatinf in my head. and i hate it. im so sick#of hearinf my own voice but no one talk in the way i want them to. i get so bored. and i want to ask pressing and uncomfortable things but#i kno i shouldnt. but i also dont really have a filter so ill just say fucking whatever. which is what i did Saturday when a triggering#topic of conversation arose. so now my lab mate officially knows too much. but whatever wtf is he gonna do abt it. i just get so annoyed#bc now its in my head. thr fact it set me off and that i overshared and that now its in my head. annoying.#and it doesn't help with the writing things i need to finish. bc i dont like feeling like ive done something wrong and one of the reviewers#has good points. which also probably means ill have to redo my 8 days of measurements so far#but i also might b able to shorten the timeline so idk. just a lot is happening rn and i feel the pressure and by brain doesn't like#pressure. and not doing things rn is not good. things need to be done#so idk i dont feel good but it makes sense. by the end of February hopefully things will b figured out#and i should sleep and hope for a better tomorrow#unrelated
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Something is fucking up with me right now and i dont know what it is
#The slightest things are sending me into a panicked tailspin that i feel somatically#instant pinpricks in my neck and pressure in my chest and a constricting feeling and everything starts feeling really really fast and i los#lose rationality#like i couldnt find my grinder and i was like i left it.im going to get arrestted.imfucked.im panicked.this is the worst thing in the world#i am not going to survive this.fuck.iam not storng enoguh for his. i cant do this. ic ant do this rn i cant do this i cant do this#And i shouldnt have that reaction over anything frankly but much less a lost weed grinder that btw wasnt even lost#Literally i jsut decided it was lost and started panicking about it#I m feeling tortured by some demon rn but i dont quite know everything i need to know for everything to make sense to me yet#it could be just MentAll healtthH but i believe everything has a catalyst#i need to be more aware of what im feeling in the present and i need to be aware of what triggers me to get upset#so i dont arrive at such heightened places without knowing how i got there#blog post
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I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.
#ive survived all nighters before ill scrape through the day itll just be Rough. at least i dont have much in my schedule#im not gonna take the dose this morning bc i think thats a really bad idea to do on zero hours sleep#and i can't risk two consecutive all nighters. like I have done that before but not while working full time 💀 its not worth it#drafting an email to my doctor to let her know im skipping day 2 + ask advice re. whether its worth resuming again on day 3#bc she did list 'trouble sleeping' as a common symptom that often passes but i need to know a) how long it usually takes to pass and-#b) if this is unusually bad + would she rec supplementing with a sleep aid or just switching tack entirely and trialling a non stimulant#by this stage of the night i dont think its actually acting anymore bc i took it at 7am and its now 3am. it shouldnt last that long#i think its more just triggered my preexisting insomnia. my ability to sleep is very very sensitive sometimes + hates routine changes#just so fucking frustrating bc ive spent the past 2 months nailing my sleep routine + ive had a couple weeks of being able to-#go to bed like 9:30-10 and it only takes an hour to get to sleep and i get usually a good 7 hours sometimes 8 only waking once halfway#and i dont feel like utter shit like yeah im tired but from work not so much lack of sleep.... and now thats all fucked lmao#whatever. maybe i should just take the next dose anyway#ill see. gonna try to sleep for another 2 hours but once it hits 5 im not doing this anymore ive been trying for six hours already man#i cant even remember when i last pulled a full all nighter. it might be longer than 6 months ago... i was doing so well :-(#im so mad i was so hopeful it would have SOME good effect like ik its not a miracle worker + these things take time but so many people-#seem to have an immediate positive response even if its probably a placebo. and i got fuck all except This.#i was searching on the reddit for sleep issues and other ppl only seem to report bad ones on higher doses or years in..#like damn. do i even have adhd then. ik thats a stupid thing to think bc obvs everyones body metabolises meds differently etc but still#it is ALMOST HALF 3 and i am FUCKING TIRED#UGH. alright bedtime round 189447383#.diaries#.vent
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vent
#i was hungry today so i think my appetite is coming back despite the pills#and im not sure if thats a good thing#i still cant focus so i mean. lol. lmao even#at least i cant make myself start tasks and my executive dysfunction is as bad as ever#now i have the issue of if i keep getting hungry like before im gonna gain weight again and i dont wanna#look theres nothing wrong with being fat or chubby and god knows im not aiming to be a stick figure but oh my god i dont want to gain weigh#i should work out and get fit like a normal human and that means i should eat right. but i still have that nagging feeling#i love myself. i do. i have the dissociation thing where i cant recognize myself in the mirror tho. and its not good this time.#usually i dont really mind since its like. you know like its not me anyway so what does it matter if that girl is fat or not#but im really self conscious and feel gross and i dont know why it all started back up again#i want to measure it. want to weigh myself. want to count calories and check with measuring tape#but i really shouldnt and i know that if i do i will trigger such a bad episode i might end up in the fucking hospital#i need to hold out until this episode goes away. i need to stand it all until i get my head back together.#i dont wanna get malnutrition or lose weight so fast my skin gets flappy#but every little thing i eat ends up nagging at the back of my head about how if i eat more ill get fat and noone will like me then#its not true. i know its not true. and i know fat people are gorgeous and i am already chubby so what does it matter#but i feel horrible. i dont want to look like this or feel like this or be like this#i want to be the best i can be. i want to reach my full potential. but its not exactly working. i swear to god i wanna love myself#i want to be loved. i want to be adored. i want to be the one someone picks even if the room is full of gorgeous and competent women#i want to be the first choice and for the person to see me as the most beautiful person in the world#to be the first choice and to be everything someone wants and needs. to be the ideal. to be the perfect one even with my flaws#i want someone to look at all the ugly sides of me and look at my fat and my emotional fuckery and my ugly crying and still love me#i want someone to love me so wholeheartedly i wont ever feel like theyd like someone else. that theyd pick someone else. that im not no.1#i want to be that person you do a double take of. to be the one that people get jealous of. to be the spotlight. to be the prettiest one.#its egoistical and selfish and childish and mean and dumb and naive and self absorbed i know. i know that it is#but its still there and its embarrassing . but im not gonna pretend like i dont have these thoughts and feelings.#im not smart or pretty enough to stand out. i dont know what could make me special. i dont know what i do that makes me unique.#what am i? who am i? how do i get better? i want to be better. i want to be better i want to be better i want to be better#i want to reach a new level i want to reach their level i want to be at the top i want to be special i want to be better i want to be proud#i want to be genuinely proud and special and outstanding enough to not feel insecure or inferior anymore
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TG: i thought about taking his sword
TG: when i was there
TG: but i couldnt
TG: couldnt really bring myself to try to pull it out it was too weird
Even if you did, you’d have to break it in order to wield it - and unlike your regenerating sword, I don't think Bro's katana will be very effective as a half-blade.
GG: dave we have to stop him!!!!!
TG: what
GG: jack! […]
GG: why dont you stop jumping around through time like a maniac and stop being like a hundred daves all the time and come to my house so we can make a plan to kill him??
I’m liking this new, more pro-active Jade. With Rose distracted by Doc Scratch's games, we probably need a new leader, and I think Jade could fit the bill.
However, I don’t think any number of Daves would be enough to take Jack down. That’s exactly what Aradia tried, and we all know how that turned out. If a thousand telekinetic necromancers can't put a scratch on him, I don't think Dave will fare much better.
TG: besides we cant beat him
TG: look what he did to bro and davesprite together
TG: im at the top of my echeladder with all the fraymotifs and i stand no chance
Dave’s already stronger than Future Dave was when he came back to the past. His progress is astounding - but the session's power creep has got so bad that it doesn’t even matter.
Like - let's imagine, for a second, that all four kids attacked Jack with their full power, right now. If they all synergized perfectly, taking full advantage of John's hurricanes, Rose's Horrorterror connections, and all the time duplicates Dave can make....
They'd still be reduced to a fine mist.
Jack has inherited a power strong enough to raze the entire Earth, and none of the kids can touch him. Becsprite initially seemed like an opportunity to match that power, Sun-to-Sun, but Vriska, for her own godforsaken reasons, nixed that plan.
The kids have got nothing. Even their plan to cheat by destroying the Green Sun is probably hopeless, because we know it ultimately serves Doc Scratch's ends, not ours. Things are really dire.
TG: only thing we can do is hold out until the scratch
GG: what is the scratch?
TG: guess i shouldnt really say
TG: since you sort of lead the way in making that plan
And then there's the Scratch plan itself, which is apparently Jade's idea - although I'd be extremely surprised if Doc's grubby little fingers weren't all over this one, too.
Opening rifts in space is certainly Jade's department, so I think she's going to suggest it as a counter-plan to Rose's more risky Sun strategy.
TG: if we cant beat him
TG: all we can really do is exile him to a place where he cant teleport back
TG: which hopefully buys us some time
TG: to try to take out his power source in a crazy suicide mission
A two-pronged approach, then. They trigger the Scratch, push Jack through a rift, and then send Rose's dream self out to destroy the sun before he's able to return.
...man, this is such a dangerous idea. Even if it wasn't being influenced by Doc, it'd still set off some huge alarm bells.
Like - sure, destroying the Green Sun might help this session survive, but what about every other session? Don't they need the Sun, to power their non-corrupted First Guardians? I just think we should maybe think for a second before deleting a critical piece of the reproductive mechanism for the entire multiverse.
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Hey not the prev anon but I think I know what they're getting at: they might not be able to do anything to financially assist and Tumblr is often a safe space for people to escape from reality. It can be distressing seeing posts of genocide on your dash regularly when it's already everywhere else. Not wanting to engage with it on Tumblr doesn't mean they don't want to or don't engage with it elsewhere outside of Tumblr. Plus there are people's triggers to consider. Unfollowing is an option, but it's a shame to need to do that.
no im perfectly aware, yeah, and this is said as someone with pretty bad ocd. i just think the fact that people are asking for help right now isnt a reality thats possible to escape until the world itself changes. we should all be trying to look for opportunities to make a difference even if we cant presently take them. you dont have to doomscroll, you dont have to watch upsetting videos, and if theres really nothing you can materially do to help that thats that and you shouldnt blame yourself, especially if you or family or friends are being directly affected, but i have this platform and im using it to do whatever i can and if the existence of donation posts is too much, then social media may not be your best choice of escapism. its actually one of the worse choices of escapism in my experience. make your own anagrams
#not answering any more asks about this. again unfollow if you really have to#bask ox#mayo nouns#not an anagram
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Hey~
I was wondering if you'd be able to write how xiker's members would react to y/n being insecure about being very chubby/ very slim (still healthy tho) to the point where y/n would want to change herself (but because she's insecure about how others see her and not because she really want's to) and how the boy's would comfort her, what they'd do etc.
You can choose whether you'd like to do it as a headcanon, imagine or anything else!
Thank you!💚🦊
WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT
• PAIRING — bf!xikers x gn reader (uses some she)
• GENRE — comfort, fluff, i dont think i implied the angst, comfort, comfort, comfort
• WORD COUNT — 758
• AUTHOR'S NOTE — i am so, so, so sorry about the long wait. True was, me and my team had no idea what to write 😭 but after looking up some coping skills, we got to writing. I just wanna say that you are beautiful just the way you are, fuck other people. And if you dont believe me, xikers certainly will ♡
MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!
MINJAE ☆
Minjae could see on your phone various workout methods that guarantees losing lots of weight in 2 weeks or so
Was a little confused on why you were so interested in that so he decided to comfort you
It broke his heart when you kept calling yourself fat and chubby bc what?? No you arent
And since he knew the workout methods and supplements were a scam, he suggested that you worked out with him
Praises every little thing you do with a big hug and kiss ♡
JUNMIN ☆
Junmin felt a little chubby when he was growing up so he understood how you felt
After researching, he found that setting small goals really helps your mental being
So he decided to do just that
This week, you should at least eat a apple everyday
Next week, you would go for a 30 minute walk
Does everything with you so you dont have to feel alone ♡
SUMIN ☆
He'd be all ears
Hes kinda like minjae too; his baby?? Feeling fat???
But would still let you rant everything out without him interrupting
Wipes away your tears if you start crying
And when you're done, he would go on a rant about how beautiful you are, and even though you dont feel this way right now, you will feel this way in the future ♡
JINSIK ☆
As soon as you open up to him, hes gone
Then you hear a big crash
Throws away (stomps and slams) your bathroom scale
Along with anything else that triggers you
Then would go on a long rant about how you shouldnt compare yourself to others ♡
HYUNWOO ☆
You told him when you thought he was sleeping because it would be too hard telling him when hes awake
Immediately sits up when you fall asleep, his heart breaking as he rubs your back
And then bolts out of the bed
Spends the next 30 minutes placing sticky notes in random places for you to find, using affirmations like "youre so pretty" or "you are worth it"
And when you see it the next morning you almost break down, hyunwoo restating the note over and over ♡
JUNGHOON ☆
Junghoon feels like hes not good at using his words and would accidentally offend you
So he creates a playlist
You know those body worship songs like i love my body by hwasa or any meghan trainor song?
Hes got them all in one playlist for you to listen too
And he even sings along ♡
SEEUN ☆
Seeun knew you werent one for exercising, so why not some yunmy healthy food to eat?
He knows hes not the best at cooking but he will try
And if not he'd recruit another member
Wont force you to eat all the vegetables but once he does figure out what healthy foods you like to eat. Its over
For dessert, he would hand feed you some fresh fruits ♡
YUJUN ☆
"What, no you arent." Would be yujuns first words but he knows words dont matter actions do
So with lots of kisses, he would drag you to the bathroom
Makes up a self care plan for you to do everyday, teaching you to love your body just like how he loves you
Speaking of love, he looks at you with so much love in his eyes, you feel like melting
And if you let him, he would kiss every part of your body, and pressing extra ones in the places you feel insecure ♡
HUNTER ☆
We all know how hunter journals his emotions just when hes about to go to bed
And so he requests that you do the same
Writing down your feelings makes you feel more connected to yourself, and pinpoints how you started feeling this way
And just like yujun, if you let him, he would kiss all the places where you feel insecure
And cuddles you, whispering in your ear that you are so beautiful and you should not think of yourself that way. And even if you do, hunter would do everything in his power to change your mind ♡
YECHAN ☆
Yechan thought you were joking at first
But his smile immediately drops when he finds out that you werent
Yechan would spend the next few days talking about self acceptance. Making you talk out your feelings and acknowledge your abilities
Would give examples on how this relates to him too, like when he was younger, he thought his rap was terrible
But would reassure you that what youre feeling will not last forever, and that you will see some happier days ♡
#xikers#xikers fluff#xikers drabbles#xikers imagines#xikers fanfic#kpop#xikers fanfiction#xikers au#xikersau#spotify#xikers minjae#minjae xikers#junmin xikers#xikers junmin#sumin xikers#xikers sumin#jinsik xikers#xikers jinsik#hyunwoo xikers#xikers hyunwoo#xikers junghoon#junghoon xikers#xikers seeun#seeun xikers#xikers yujun#yujun xikers#xikers hunter#hunter xikers#yechan xikers#xikers yechan
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the complete lack of action re: racism on Ao3 is so genuinely disheartening. it really seems like no one cares. people are actually defending it and insisting fans of color speaking about it is the "real problem" and not like ... racism. i hate it here.
I know people online often take one of those two sides (“ao3 doesn’t give a shit” and “ao3 SHOULDNT give a shit”), but— and I’m not speaking for the org, all this information is public— neither of those represent opinions held by the current leadership of the OTW.
In spring 2020, the board responded to open letters from fans of color, and there was an announcement of new features being worked on (blocking and muting) so that users could protect themselves against harassment, and from hurtful or racist works. The ability to turn off comments came a few months later, and the ability to freeze comment threads came in February ‘21. There was another update in April ‘21, and then a few weeks ago, the ability to block specific users from commenting on your works was rolled out. Muting (the ability to say “this person’s work is racist/triggering/simply not for me and I never ever want to see it”) is in progress, but there are ways you can do that now with site skins. The OTW is also looking to hire a diversity consultant.
As far as I know, all of this happened because of lobbying from fans of color, both inside and outside the org. These changes aren’t ever going to be enough for people who want racist works deleted— and I understand why people want that, but I hope they also understand that not only does it go against ao3’s mission statement, no volunteers are qualified to determine what is and is not racist worldwide.
Things happen slowly at ao3, for a number of reasons. But they do happen, and you can always check in on the news posts on the homepage if you want to see what’s going on.
#ao3#otw#i don’t know if any of this is comforting or not#or if it’s what you want to hear#but there are people listening#op#anons#asks#answers
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