the way cole makes varric conflicted is so delicious i think. most of the characters are uncomfortable around him because they're genuinely terrified of demons and the fade and magic in general but varric is a completely different case. the thing is, he doesn't see cole as a demon at all because he doesn't want to.
he acts like he doesn't care about this stuff. that's a little weird kiddo around here and he wants to befriend him. teach him something even. why not. that's a little guy who's a little too good with knives and can't pick up a single social clue at the same time.
but there it is. the "he could have been a person" line if cole is made more spirit. varric is so upset about it because it's not like he saw cole as, well, a spirit who got a little too human. for varric, he was a human first, a weird kid second. the spirit part didn't even come into consideration because. well. it would make him question things. you know where it goes.
every time he starts bitching about anders he brings up justice. justice drove him mad. justice took over him. justice this, justice that. justice is a scapegoat because the thought that someone varric was friends with was actually willing to blow up the chantry and it wasn't just some evil demon's wish is a very unsettling one. varric's friends may be crazy but they're cool and make no irreversible life decisions of that extent, don't they? blondie turned out this way because he let a demon possess him and make him do terrible things. completely out of the blue.
it's either varric's ex-friend has never been driven crazy by some inherently evil entity and there was a whole other person around him all along and that anger he used to mock was coming from the same place as compassion's urge to become a killer or that little weird but kind kid he started to care about has never been and will never be a real kid. he can't have both. a bitter pill to swallow for someone who has never picked a side in his life
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Prev // Next
Transcript and Bonus below the cut:
Phoenix: It’s been ten years, almost to the day, since I lost my mom. I’ve been thinking about her a lot since we had Aspen. Something about knowing that she’ll never get to know her granddaughter. That Aspen will never get to know her. It’s a different kind of grief that I wasn’t prepared for.
Phoenix: [wipes a stray tear from his eye] After I moved in with Julian, I would come out here sometimes. I’d sit on this bench and look out at the water, and I’d talk to her. I’d tell her about my life, that I loved her and missed her, that I was sorry for being such a pain in the ass. I even told her about Malcolm. I don’t know why this spot. Maybe just because it’s pretty here, and away from everything and quiet, but I could almost convince myself that she could hear me.
Phoenix: I guess I hoped that by bringing you both here… well, it’s the closest I could get to introducing you.
Dawn: If your mom was here right now, would she prefer it if I called her Leanne? Or Miss Realta?
Phoenix: [breathes a laugh through his nose] Definitely Leanne. She’d give me hell if I let you call her Miss Realta.
Dawn: Okay. Well, Leanne, my name is Dawn, and I am madly in love with your son. We’re getting married in a couple of months, and I’m so excited. You’re invited, of course, if you can make it to Brindleton Bay.
Dawn: Most importantly, though, this is Aspen. She’s your granddaughter. Her middle name is Leanne, after you, of course. And, um, you should know that Phoenix is an incredible father. I wish I could’ve gotten to know you. And I wish you were here to give me some parenting advice because you clearly did something right, and I feel so lost all of the time. But I promise we’ll come back to visit, at least every Winterfest, so you can see Aspen as she gets older.
Phoenix: Thank you.
Dawn: Thank you for sharing this place with us. I can see why you were drawn to it. It does kinda feel like she’s here, like she’s listening.
Phoenix: [nods but doesn’t speak for fear that his voice will betray him]
Aspen: [coos]
Phoenix: [clears his throat] Did I ever tell you that she wanted to write children’s books?
Dawn: I remember you saying she used to make up stories a lot when you were little.
Phoenix: Yeah [smiles at the memory] She was never able to pursue writing seriously because she was always working two or three jobs to take care of us, to take care of me. I always hoped she’d be able to one day, and that she’d publish her own books. I can probably tell Aspen a few of them from memory, but how cool would it have been to be able to give her an actual book?
Dawn: That would’ve been amazing. Out of all the stories she told you, did you have a favorite?
Phoenix: Oh, god, um… if I had to pick, it would probably be this one about a polar bear name JuJu that dreamed of going to Jupiter. [laughs] I remember, we were learning about the solar system in school, and we all had to do a report on a planet. I chose Jupiter. But I had a really hard time writing the report, I’d never done one before. So, she made up this story about my favorite animal, a polar bear, going to Jupiter. It was really funny and full of facts about the planet. Not only did I get an A on my report, but I made her retell the story about a hundred times.
Dawn: Aw, that’s so cute. I wanna hear it. Will you tell us the story?
Phoenix: Right now?
Dawn: Yeah.
Phoenix: Okay, sure…
✨Bonus✨
And, of course, Aspen got to meet her Great Uncle Julian while they were in Copperdale. She was a little unsure at first, but she warmed up to him pretty quick. 🥰
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It is so funny for me that inevitably in posts defending Shuro and saying he's treated unfairly someone will bring up that he owns slaves... and will be completely ignored and not interacted with at all.
tbh the most concerning thing I've seen in all of fandom is the people who like Shuro so much they start going into slavery apologia about this- "it's the cultural norm, it's not his fault" "well his dad feeds them and treats them well (he does not! Izutsumi got a collar put on her neck so she'd be killed if she tried to escape! on his watch!) so it's fiiiine he's a good slave owner"
It's like I'm in a fandom for the average bargain bin isekai all of the sudden like this is the exact stuff Rising of Shield Hero fans will say. These are things said about real slaveowners pre Civil War! I find that concerning.
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i think part of the reason why i have so much trouble admitting how much I'm struggling physically and with people believing me is because I'm so used to hiding everything about myself and what I'm going through.
i've hid my true interests and passions for as long as I can remember because it's inevitable that people will make fun of me for it. when i was getting bullied in middle school and was having a really rough time with sensory issues, I told my mum. but nothing really came of it, it kept happening again, and again. so I realised it was useless to tell. everytime I told my parents I was in pain, they said it was growing pains. so I learnt to cope with the pain. i didn't tell anyone about the fatigue I felt months after having covid in early 2020 because I could deal with it. i delt with everything else, after all. it was fine.
but now it's not fine, and no-one will believe me and I hate it so much.
(okay quick edit a few weeks later haha: a lot of this is to do with my difficulty articulating feelings and thoughts, and a lot of it is the school system just generally being not great for neurodivergent disabled kids. I am hopefully going to the doctor soon)
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Cried on the train today, then thought of this! This is just me coping to the highest degree again, but I thought other people might like this as well!
Nikolai as a Father
First off, he’d likely be absent rather often. He was a soldier, he runs a PMC, he’s a busy man through and through. That’s why he won’t be able to see you as often as he’d like. He’d have loved to see all your accomplishments, meeting your first partner and intimidating them, your graduation, the first time you performed on stage, but it wasn’t possible due to work. He does feel bad about it, but he can’t help it. He will try to make it up to you somehow, though he’d understand if you couldn’t forgive him. He does try to be there for you whenever he can, visiting you whenever possible, but you will be apart from each other more often than not. However, if you ever have any suggestions regarding what you’d like to do together, he’s all ears. He has enough money to grant you any wish like that. You wanna go to Japan? You want a boat trip? You wanna go karaoke? It’s all possible, as long as he gets to experience those things with you. He really does wanna make up for the lost time.
He’s a pretty relaxed kind of father. The kind that would allow you a sip of beer when you were young. He’d have no problems with you drinking, as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. You should be responsible about that sort of thing. But if you ever wanted to invite a friend over to drink a bit, then he’d have no problem with getting the booze for you. Nothing too strong while you’re still young, of course, but he gets it. You’re young, you want to be stupid and do foolish things. He was like that too when he was younger, so he won’t stop you. In fact, he’ll even drive to the nearest fast food restaurant and get you and your friend something to eat. Sometimes he might cook himself, though. Nikolai’s food is downright godly, he can cook just about anything and cook it well too. As long as you don’t invite a friend over to get blackout drunk every weekend, all is good.
I think he’d probably lie to you about his job when you’re younger. You don’t need to know that he kills people for a living. You can know that he does paperwork, though. So he’d likely tell you he works an office job that has him traveling a lot. Speaking of traveling, he’ll always bring you a souvenir. That could range from a small snow globe to a nice T-shirt he found that you might like. He may be busy, but he does think about you very often. This continues into adulthood as well. If he can’t see you and give it to you in person then he’ll just mail it to you. Won’t ever allow you to work in the same field he does, though. You’re too sweet to work as a mercenary. You can become anything you want to be, but he’ll do what he can to not have you work in the military or in a PMC. He wants you to live and live well. There are no exceptions to this. He knows you might not listen to him, but he’ll tell you over and over again that those kinds of jobs are not what you might think they are. He doesn’t tell you what to do very often, but you should listen to him when he does. He’s an older man, who actually knows what he’s talking about. Besides, he only means well when it comes to you.
A very accepting father, in all honesty. You’re gay? You’re trans? He’s very supportive of you. Besides, it doesn’t matter who you bring home, he’s gonna try to intimidate them either way. Only the best of the best for you. If you ever find yourself some sleazebag, who won’t spoil you rotten like you deserve, then he’ll make sure that person will learn their lesson. He can be a very scary man when he wants to be. If you’re transmasc, then he’d delight in going clothes shopping with you and finding something that you look good in and that fits. He might even buy you a bomber jacket like he has so you can match. He’ll get you the fanciest suits too. Whatever you need, he’ll give it to you. If you’re transfem then he might not be the best suited candidate to go shopping with you. He can tell you what you look good in, but he might call someone like Laswell to help you find nice clothes that suit you well. However, he won’t save any money on anything. You know what you want? You can gladly have it. Nikolai will even pay for your surgeries as well. As long as you’re happy, he’s happy. No price is too high when it comes to your happiness. In fact, he probably has the means to get you a prescription for hormones as well. It might not be entirely legal, but it’s better than nothing if you have shitty doctors.
Likewise, if you come out to him as aromantic or asexual, he won’t mind. Sure, you might have to explain what that means, but once he understands he won’t make you feel bad for that sort of thing. Gives you a side hug and tells you that he’s glad he doesn’t have to worry about your heart being broken by some asshole who can’t appreciate you for who you are. Unfortunately, if you do come out to him as ace, he might make some puns about it. Nothing offensive, but he’s your father, he can’t help the urge to make awful dad jokes from time to time.
If you don’t know Russian then he’ll teach you. He’s a proud Russian, so he does want you to know the language. He can hire a teacher for you too, if you’d prefer that, but you won’t be spared. He’ll talk to you in Russian and compliment you on your progress. Besides, it’s never a mistake to know another language. If you do know Russian then he’ll speak it with you whenever he can. Yes, even when the likes of Price are around. Doesn’t matter if it comes off as rude, it just feels homey to him. It makes him feel at ease.
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This is about GOS2 but not quite -just wanted to tell you how refreshing (and calming) it is to see someone dislike something, or disagree with something, or someone (Neil, in this case) while being completely polite and respectful to people who do like it (the show, the ship, this season specifically, whatever) and not doing personal attacks or being insulting or downright hostile or aggressive. Just... Liking what you like, not liking what you don't like, and being in your own "bubble" so to speak. I adore the first season, and some moments in this one (not the season in general), and I've had to see and start avoiding absolutely wild stuff since 2019, from haughty superiority from book first fans calling people who liked the show absolute idiots, people directly attacking fanwork creators or even Tennant, Sheen and Gaiman themselves, to even worse stuff I'd rather not think about. As you can probably already imagine, that specific kind of dumpster fire has only gotten worse since the release of S2.
My take on fandom has always been to enjoy what you enjoy and ignore the rest unless it's something serious with real-world implications or consequences. It's always stressed me out how people can get, to the point that for several years I stopped engaging with fandom entirely, and I just wanted to say this, I guess, because it's been a breath of fresh air. I wish more people engaged with fictional material and fandom the way you do. Cheers, hope you have nice day and that this wasn't too weird of a message to get
This is really beautifully put, thank you for the nice message! Yeah all-in-all, these are just a show/a book/content made for people's entertainment, and there's absolutely no reason to get to the point of attacking the cast and crew or fans personally.
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sometimes i rewatch just the moment of Loki stumbling and tripping all over himself when he tries to approach Don!Mobius father of two at his home just to relive the moment of my jaw slowly dropping to the floor as it unfolded on my screen. truly there have been few moments that took me out with complete startled befuddlement so entirely as that. NOT because it wasn't perfectly in character I just hadn't in a million years expected a Disney/Marvel joint would let us SEE it.
You and me both anon, you and me both 🙏💖
There are some moments in life that really will last forever and what a pleasure it is to say the God of Mischief being canonically down for a single dad from Cleveland is now one of those, lmao. Honestly even to this day it's hard to wrap my mind around Loki's fit check, like there's poor Don literally just off work struggling with some trash and a chaotic household while an actual god lurks around wishing for a mirror in case he's not personally up to standard 😅
And like you said it's all COMPLETELY in character!!! Loki's never had to approach Mobius *needing* to impress before (because Mobius could never not be impressed with him) and because of it everything kind of hits in that moment how desperately he actually does want Mobius/Don to know how much he means and the difference he's made and if the only way that could be communicated is through some of the most obvious flirting any of us have ever witnessed then so be it. Still can't believe a full season of a Disney/Marvel show from start to finish gave the stuff dreams are made of, it's definitely a fluke but I'm running with it and never looking back lol.
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