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#but i really just can't bring myself to
kaltacore · 11 months
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the way cole makes varric conflicted is so delicious i think. most of the characters are uncomfortable around him because they're genuinely terrified of demons and the fade and magic in general but varric is a completely different case. the thing is, he doesn't see cole as a demon at all because he doesn't want to.
he acts like he doesn't care about this stuff. that's a little weird kiddo around here and he wants to befriend him. teach him something even. why not. that's a little guy who's a little too good with knives and can't pick up a single social clue at the same time.
but there it is. the "he could have been a person" line if cole is made more spirit. varric is so upset about it because it's not like he saw cole as, well, a spirit who got a little too human. for varric, he was a human first, a weird kid second. the spirit part didn't even come into consideration because. well. it would make him question things. you know where it goes.
every time he starts bitching about anders he brings up justice. justice drove him mad. justice took over him. justice this, justice that. justice is a scapegoat because the thought that someone varric was friends with was actually willing to blow up the chantry and it wasn't just some evil demon's wish is a very unsettling one. varric's friends may be crazy but they're cool and make no irreversible life decisions of that extent, don't they? blondie turned out this way because he let a demon possess him and make him do terrible things. completely out of the blue.
it's either varric's ex-friend has never been driven crazy by some inherently evil entity and there was a whole other person around him all along and that anger he used to mock was coming from the same place as compassion's urge to become a killer or that little weird but kind kid he started to care about has never been and will never be a real kid. he can't have both. a bitter pill to swallow for someone who has never picked a side in his life
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disorderly · 11 months
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cluster b culture is just don't make this about yourself don't make this about yourself don't mention yourself don't do it I swear to God don't mention yourself don't please God anyways I did the same thing and you didn't even notice what about me how come you never notice me but expect me to always be paying attention to you why don't you—
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lynzishell · 3 months
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Prev // Next
Transcript and Bonus below the cut:
Phoenix: It’s been ten years, almost to the day, since I lost my mom. I’ve been thinking about her a lot since we had Aspen. Something about knowing that she’ll never get to know her granddaughter. That Aspen will never get to know her. It’s a different kind of grief that I wasn’t prepared for.
Phoenix: [wipes a stray tear from his eye] After I moved in with Julian, I would come out here sometimes. I’d sit on this bench and look out at the water, and I’d talk to her. I’d tell her about my life, that I loved her and missed her, that I was sorry for being such a pain in the ass. I even told her about Malcolm. I don’t know why this spot. Maybe just because it’s pretty here, and away from everything and quiet, but I could almost convince myself that she could hear me.
Phoenix: I guess I hoped that by bringing you both here… well, it’s the closest I could get to introducing you.   Dawn: If your mom was here right now, would she prefer it if I called her Leanne? Or Miss Realta? Phoenix: [breathes a laugh through his nose] Definitely Leanne. She’d give me hell if I let you call her Miss Realta. Dawn: Okay. Well, Leanne, my name is Dawn, and I am madly in love with your son. We’re getting married in a couple of months, and I’m so excited. You’re invited, of course, if you can make it to Brindleton Bay.
Dawn: Most importantly, though, this is Aspen. She’s your granddaughter. Her middle name is Leanne, after you, of course. And, um, you should know that Phoenix is an incredible father. I wish I could’ve gotten to know you. And I wish you were here to give me some parenting advice because you clearly did something right, and I feel so lost all of the time. But I promise we’ll come back to visit, at least every Winterfest, so you can see Aspen as she gets older.
Phoenix: Thank you. Dawn: Thank you for sharing this place with us. I can see why you were drawn to it. It does kinda feel like she’s here, like she’s listening. Phoenix: [nods but doesn’t speak for fear that his voice will betray him] Aspen: [coos] Phoenix: [clears his throat] Did I ever tell you that she wanted to write children’s books? Dawn: I remember you saying she used to make up stories a lot when you were little.
Phoenix: Yeah [smiles at the memory] She was never able to pursue writing seriously because she was always working two or three jobs to take care of us, to take care of me. I always hoped she’d be able to one day, and that she’d publish her own books. I can probably tell Aspen a few of them from memory, but how cool would it have been to be able to give her an actual book?
Dawn: That would’ve been amazing. Out of all the stories she told you, did you have a favorite?
Phoenix: Oh, god, um… if I had to pick, it would probably be this one about a polar bear name JuJu that dreamed of going to Jupiter. [laughs] I remember, we were learning about the solar system in school, and we all had to do a report on a planet. I chose Jupiter. But I had a really hard time writing the report, I’d never done one before. So, she made up this story about my favorite animal, a polar bear, going to Jupiter. It was really funny and full of facts about the planet. Not only did I get an A on my report, but I made her retell the story about a hundred times.
Dawn: Aw, that’s so cute. I wanna hear it. Will you tell us the story? Phoenix: Right now? Dawn: Yeah. Phoenix: Okay, sure…
✨Bonus✨
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And, of course, Aspen got to meet her Great Uncle Julian while they were in Copperdale. She was a little unsure at first, but she warmed up to him pretty quick. 🥰
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ladyloveandjustice · 15 days
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It is so funny for me that inevitably in posts defending Shuro and saying he's treated unfairly someone will bring up that he owns slaves... and will be completely ignored and not interacted with at all.
tbh the most concerning thing I've seen in all of fandom is the people who like Shuro so much they start going into slavery apologia about this- "it's the cultural norm, it's not his fault" "well his dad feeds them and treats them well (he does not! Izutsumi got a collar put on her neck so she'd be killed if she tried to escape! on his watch!) so it's fiiiine he's a good slave owner"
It's like I'm in a fandom for the average bargain bin isekai all of the sudden like this is the exact stuff Rising of Shield Hero fans will say. These are things said about real slaveowners pre Civil War! I find that concerning.
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fishareglorious · 18 days
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77! she's quite the splitting image of her daughter.
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eebie · 3 months
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wearenotdoinggethelpp · 5 months
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i think part of the reason why i have so much trouble admitting how much I'm struggling physically and with people believing me is because I'm so used to hiding everything about myself and what I'm going through.
i've hid my true interests and passions for as long as I can remember because it's inevitable that people will make fun of me for it. when i was getting bullied in middle school and was having a really rough time with sensory issues, I told my mum. but nothing really came of it, it kept happening again, and again. so I realised it was useless to tell. everytime I told my parents I was in pain, they said it was growing pains. so I learnt to cope with the pain. i didn't tell anyone about the fatigue I felt months after having covid in early 2020 because I could deal with it. i delt with everything else, after all. it was fine.
but now it's not fine, and no-one will believe me and I hate it so much.
(okay quick edit a few weeks later haha: a lot of this is to do with my difficulty articulating feelings and thoughts, and a lot of it is the school system just generally being not great for neurodivergent disabled kids. I am hopefully going to the doctor soon)
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deoidesign · 7 days
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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bumblingbabooshka · 7 months
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On s'est déjà tout dit Et j'ai déjà tout vu Je l'ai déjà apprise, la leçon la plus dure J'suis tombé droit dans l'mur, une fois, deux fois
[We've already said everything and I've already seen it all. I've already learned it, the hardest lesson. I fell straight into the wall, once, twice.]
#bea art tag#T'Pring#T'Pring/Spock#Spock#SNW#star trek snw#snw#T'Pring fanart#s he deserves more.....she deserves MORE!!!!!#The nerve of this man to say 'you know me well' WHILE cheating#This show's Spock's trust issues and reluctance to fully commit himself to T'Pring don't read at all as him being torn between two differen#worlds or reluctant to show T'Pring the 'real' him because we never really see T'Pring being .... idk. Disdainful of his humanity?#The most I can remember is her saying 'It hardly seems like a Vulcan lives here.' when she's poking at his interior decorating#T'Pring is out here reading books doing research and telling him she appreciates his Humanity and wants to have dinner with him and spend#time together and Spock's over here like 'I can't bring myself to trust T'Pring. Christine! Angel!' like DUDE....you're ENGAGED#Of your own volition you're engaged!!#The second your fiancee says 'let's take a break from seeing each other to think about our relationship' you start having sex with another#woman?? Immediately??? I don't like this writing ... it just makes Spock seem like a sleaze who's making excuses to be unfaithful#BUT you know what?? That'd be fine if they didn't frame Christine/Spock as like...ok? I don't get that. M'Benga is like wink wink#ohhh you like each other huh~?? HUH indeed. HUH?? Dude - he has a fiancee???#Even putting morality aside wouldn't it just be more fun to have them be in a secret forbidden relationship or whatever?#Spock: -Singing about how he and Christine broke up or whatever- / Uhura: ....[doesn't he have a girlfriend?????]#<- I wish there was more continuity with this. Like - why is everyone on the ship fine with Spock & Christine being together#when they KNOW he has a fiancee? Is no one going to mention it?#Like there's definitely a compelling story here but the writers are never gonna find it...everyone's too busy being in a marvel movie#Spock being like oh I love Christine we really have something WHILE reassuring T'Pring at every turn that he loves her and wants to make#it work between them ooohhhh!!!! -steam comes out my ears- flames flames on...on the side of my face...#Him being upset and feeling betrayed by Christine leaving for a work opportunity....sit DOWN sir. Sit DOWN!!!#If they make T'Pring cheat on him with Stonn or whatever so they can have a contrived#'well we're both at fault who's really to blame for this goodbye forever now have a great life' ending I'm gonna riot
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cerise-on-top · 13 days
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Cried on the train today, then thought of this! This is just me coping to the highest degree again, but I thought other people might like this as well!
Nikolai as a Father
First off, he’d likely be absent rather often. He was a soldier, he runs a PMC, he’s a busy man through and through. That’s why he won’t be able to see you as often as he’d like. He’d have loved to see all your accomplishments, meeting your first partner and intimidating them, your graduation, the first time you performed on stage, but it wasn’t possible due to work. He does feel bad about it, but he can’t help it. He will try to make it up to you somehow, though he’d understand if you couldn’t forgive him. He does try to be there for you whenever he can, visiting you whenever possible, but you will be apart from each other more often than not. However, if you ever have any suggestions regarding what you’d like to do together, he’s all ears. He has enough money to grant you any wish like that. You wanna go to Japan? You want a boat trip? You wanna go karaoke? It’s all possible, as long as he gets to experience those things with you. He really does wanna make up for the lost time.
He’s a pretty relaxed kind of father. The kind that would allow you a sip of beer when you were young. He’d have no problems with you drinking, as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. You should be responsible about that sort of thing. But if you ever wanted to invite a friend over to drink a bit, then he’d have no problem with getting the booze for you. Nothing too strong while you’re still young, of course, but he gets it. You’re young, you want to be stupid and do foolish things. He was like that too when he was younger, so he won’t stop you. In fact, he’ll even drive to the nearest fast food restaurant and get you and your friend something to eat. Sometimes he might cook himself, though. Nikolai’s food is downright godly, he can cook just about anything and cook it well too. As long as you don’t invite a friend over to get blackout drunk every weekend, all is good.
I think he’d probably lie to you about his job when you’re younger. You don’t need to know that he kills people for a living. You can know that he does paperwork, though. So he’d likely tell you he works an office job that has him traveling a lot. Speaking of traveling, he’ll always bring you a souvenir. That could range from a small snow globe to a nice T-shirt he found that you might like. He may be busy, but he does think about you very often. This continues into adulthood as well. If he can’t see you and give it to you in person then he’ll just mail it to you. Won’t ever allow you to work in the same field he does, though. You’re too sweet to work as a mercenary. You can become anything you want to be, but he’ll do what he can to not have you work in the military or in a PMC. He wants you to live and live well. There are no exceptions to this. He knows you might not listen to him, but he’ll tell you over and over again that those kinds of jobs are not what you might think they are. He doesn’t tell you what to do very often, but you should listen to him when he does. He’s an older man, who actually knows what he’s talking about. Besides, he only means well when it comes to you.
A very accepting father, in all honesty. You’re gay? You’re trans? He’s very supportive of you. Besides, it doesn’t matter who you bring home, he’s gonna try to intimidate them either way. Only the best of the best for you. If you ever find yourself some sleazebag, who won’t spoil you rotten like you deserve, then he’ll make sure that person will learn their lesson. He can be a very scary man when he wants to be. If you’re transmasc, then he’d delight in going clothes shopping with you and finding something that you look good in and that fits. He might even buy you a bomber jacket like he has so you can match. He’ll get you the fanciest suits too. Whatever you need, he’ll give it to you. If you’re transfem then he might not be the best suited candidate to go shopping with you. He can tell you what you look good in, but he might call someone like Laswell to help you find nice clothes that suit you well. However, he won’t save any money on anything. You know what you want? You can gladly have it. Nikolai will even pay for your surgeries as well. As long as you’re happy, he’s happy. No price is too high when it comes to your happiness. In fact, he probably has the means to get you a prescription for hormones as well. It might not be entirely legal, but it’s better than nothing if you have shitty doctors.
Likewise, if you come out to him as aromantic or asexual, he won’t mind. Sure, you might have to explain what that means, but once he understands he won’t make you feel bad for that sort of thing. Gives you a side hug and tells you that he’s glad he doesn’t have to worry about your heart being broken by some asshole who can’t appreciate you for who you are. Unfortunately, if you do come out to him as ace, he might make some puns about it. Nothing offensive, but he’s your father, he can’t help the urge to make awful dad jokes from time to time.
If you don’t know Russian then he’ll teach you. He’s a proud Russian, so he does want you to know the language. He can hire a teacher for you too, if you’d prefer that, but you won’t be spared. He’ll talk to you in Russian and compliment you on your progress. Besides, it’s never a mistake to know another language. If you do know Russian then he’ll speak it with you whenever he can. Yes, even when the likes of Price are around. Doesn’t matter if it comes off as rude, it just feels homey to him. It makes him feel at ease.
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soap-ify · 2 months
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hello (going to pretend that i didn't disappear AGAIN)
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bingqiv · 3 months
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can't wait to pirate the new season of dw
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tio-trile · 9 months
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This is about GOS2 but not quite -just wanted to tell you how refreshing (and calming) it is to see someone dislike something, or disagree with something, or someone (Neil, in this case) while being completely polite and respectful to people who do like it (the show, the ship, this season specifically, whatever) and not doing personal attacks or being insulting or downright hostile or aggressive. Just... Liking what you like, not liking what you don't like, and being in your own "bubble" so to speak. I adore the first season, and some moments in this one (not the season in general), and I've had to see and start avoiding absolutely wild stuff since 2019, from haughty superiority from book first fans calling people who liked the show absolute idiots, people directly attacking fanwork creators or even Tennant, Sheen and Gaiman themselves, to even worse stuff I'd rather not think about. As you can probably already imagine, that specific kind of dumpster fire has only gotten worse since the release of S2.
My take on fandom has always been to enjoy what you enjoy and ignore the rest unless it's something serious with real-world implications or consequences. It's always stressed me out how people can get, to the point that for several years I stopped engaging with fandom entirely, and I just wanted to say this, I guess, because it's been a breath of fresh air. I wish more people engaged with fictional material and fandom the way you do. Cheers, hope you have nice day and that this wasn't too weird of a message to get
This is really beautifully put, thank you for the nice message! Yeah all-in-all, these are just a show/a book/content made for people's entertainment, and there's absolutely no reason to get to the point of attacking the cast and crew or fans personally.
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stardust-vi · 1 month
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Dumb ramble but I hate that you can't critique The Thing you love within a fandom space without some dude breathing down your neck like "Well actually that means you hate The Author and The Thing! And what about all the times The Author did this Good Thing? Checkmate, liberal." as if you can't be critical of something because you love it and want it to be better.
#just. i'm in a rush rn so i'm probably not articulating myself well and i could go more in-depth with my thoughts#at the risk of someone spinning my words into “cringe blue hair pronoun wants to cancel araki!” which... will happen inevitably#even though i don't know how many times i can repeat “i do not hate araki#this is specifcally about jjba btw because like.#look i love it and araki has done some good things (or at least had good intentions in most cases)#but i'm so over the fact he constantly has to reach for some form of traumatizing women in his writing#and I already hear “well it shows they're a villain!”#but does he HAVE to use assault? why does he have to use that instead of demonstrating their villainy in other ways#that don't need to use it as a crutch#i'm not even saying you can't ever write about assault#that's not my argument either.#I'm not even accusing him of being a bad writer or person but just. Can we please retire the overusage of assault for shock value?#i obviously don't hate people who enjoy the series regardless#i'd be a massive fucking hypocrite#i mean i've literally been in this damn fandom for 6 years and just now decided to post my art.#but i'm tired of any time someone brings up legit criticisms of the misogyny in his writing#it's met with “but araki did this-” like it changes anything.#i'm glad he did somewhat improve writing women over time compared to the earlier parts#that said. that doesn't cancel out the blunders he did make or will make in the future#even if he has good intent.#or really any criticism of the writing being hit with “but its not supposed to make sense#anyways rant over. probably going to delete later bc im tired.#tw assault#assault tw
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mobius-m-mobius · 6 months
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sometimes i rewatch just the moment of Loki stumbling and tripping all over himself when he tries to approach Don!Mobius father of two at his home just to relive the moment of my jaw slowly dropping to the floor as it unfolded on my screen. truly there have been few moments that took me out with complete startled befuddlement so entirely as that. NOT because it wasn't perfectly in character I just hadn't in a million years expected a Disney/Marvel joint would let us SEE it.
You and me both anon, you and me both 🙏💖
There are some moments in life that really will last forever and what a pleasure it is to say the God of Mischief being canonically down for a single dad from Cleveland is now one of those, lmao. Honestly even to this day it's hard to wrap my mind around Loki's fit check, like there's poor Don literally just off work struggling with some trash and a chaotic household while an actual god lurks around wishing for a mirror in case he's not personally up to standard 😅
And like you said it's all COMPLETELY in character!!! Loki's never had to approach Mobius *needing* to impress before (because Mobius could never not be impressed with him) and because of it everything kind of hits in that moment how desperately he actually does want Mobius/Don to know how much he means and the difference he's made and if the only way that could be communicated is through some of the most obvious flirting any of us have ever witnessed then so be it. Still can't believe a full season of a Disney/Marvel show from start to finish gave the stuff dreams are made of, it's definitely a fluke but I'm running with it and never looking back lol.
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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