the big dick nerd!eren drabble did so good so here’s some more!!!!

let’s discuss his first blowjob shall we. the whole thing started out pretty innocent just a lil makeout session bc you were becoming incredibly bored of the movie you were watching (love & basketball—his choice surprisingly). he just looked so pretty w his hair in a neat bun and black glasses framing his face so perfectly how could you not wanna jump his bones??? eren felt your hand trail up his thigh towards the place where he needed you most and felt his blood run cold, “just let me see it renny please? ‘feels so big i have to see it,” you purred squeezing eren’s dick over his sweats. “o-okay yeah a peek wouldn’t hurt would it?” he chuckled breathlessly, pulling his sweats down mid thigh and you were met with the biggest erection you’d ever seen in your life straining against the soft material of eren’s briefs. your silence began to worry eren and just as he was about to pull his sweats back up you wrapped your dainty hand around his wrist stopping him, “don’t be embarrassed baby i wasn’t thinking anything bad i was just…..admiring it,” you smiled pressing a kiss to his blazing cheek. “o-oh—uh okay it’s not too small or anything? do you think i could make you—um f-feel good with it?” he asked his eyes wide with wonder. you moved your body in front of eren’s and laid on your stomach, your feet swaying in air dreamily. “i think it’s more than enough—in fact i don’t know if i’ll even be able to fit it all in my pussy you’re just so big ren,” you fake pouted, flicking your tongue out to get a taste of the pre staining eren’s briefs. before eren knew it his entire dick was sheathed down your throat, your spit with a mixture of his precum dripping down your chin and onto his aching, full balls. “yes yes t-that feels so good y/n. do that thing with your tongue again please—fuckkkk yeah mhm mhmmm,” eren whimpered clutching onto his bedsheets for dear life. he’d already came two times—the first time happening just from you suckling on the tip but you didn’t mind at all. not one bit.

Ok, listen. I know, I KNOW that "Phantom Planet's Not Canon Fuck You." Okay?

But just. Hear me out for a second.

Do Halfas Need To Breathe In Ghost Form?

Okay so this is a really lowkeye "debate" (I say that in quotes because it's more just that people have different headcanons and tbh this is the best way anyway because, you know, fuck canon death of the author and all) as to whether or not Danny needs to breathe in halfa form. And while I, like most people, just sorta decide whether or not he needs to breathe based on whatever my fanfic plot needs, I actually think, canonically at least, there is some solid evidence that no, actually, they don't need to breathe in ghost form.

There's a few times in canon where Vlad is choking Danny mid-fight and Danny looks more mildly annoyed than seriously panicked about it, but you can largely chalk that up to Kid's TV Screening Filters, so I don't put much weight on those.

However, there are some moment that sticks out more than the rest. And that's when Danny and Vlad are in space.

Yeah, uh, I'm talking about Phantom Planet.

(I'm sorry)

So initially, both Danny and Vlad are shown to be wearing helmets that presumably have oxygen filtering through them. Now now, I know what you're thinking: Lexx, wouldn't this mean that they do need to breathe in ghost form?

My theory isn't that they can't breathe in ghost form, my theory is that they don't need to breathe in ghost form. There's a difference.

I also think that they probably don't exactly want to test the theory if they have to breathe or now. Better safe than sorry, so let's wear helmets!

(Also, side note, this furthers the other lowkeye "debate" as to whether or not they get seriously cold in their ghost forms because, uh, they're in space with no spacesuit)

But I digress. Here they are shown with helmets, suggesting that they do have some breathing capabilities, even in ghost form.

But at the end of the episode, we see Vlad here chilling on a space rock, no helmet in sight, looking perfectly fine albeit disappointed and bored.

This, obviously, suggests that halfas do not need to breathe in ghost form. And I think Vlad literally just discovered that as soon as he was ejected to space sans helmet.

So my theory is, while Danny and Vlad have the organs required for breathing and do breathe as a reflex automatically, when put in situations like outer space where oxygen is not available, their ghost half takes over a little more and they stop breathing. I think this is such an automatic thing that when this change happens in day to day life (like Danny being choked by Vlad mid ghost-fight), that like how us humans don't actively think about breathing, we just kinda do it, they don't really notice it either.

So that's my theory. I'm so sorry for needing to cite Phantom Planet here. I'm sure there's other things you can pull from canon too, but this was just the most obvious. Again, headcanons ftw, okay peace out ✌️

It's been over a week

And I'm still trying to digest and come to terms with it.

I know I said that I take comfort in them being together, and I got to say, that is a big big help in dealing with their departure, and yet, can't help but be sad and worry like a mom that just sent her kids off to the army.

Watching JM's live with JK's that followed (a few hours later and after their family dinner) was heart wrenching. JM struggling with his shaved hair was heartbreaking.

This clearly was not easy for them.

JM the next day (in the BTB).

I can't help but wonder, after the initial annoyance of getting a minute or a little more from the two's enlistment day, if the whole thing was just too emotional and more than what they themselves wanted to share publicly.

Again, seeing how JM is struggling, and JK knowing and comforting him. That look on JM's face when JK does that. Ugh, how I wish they didn't have to go through this. But they did. They are. And now it's time to come to terms with it.

I guess having lived it, done the army thing, gone through basic training and military service I have a little more insight as to what they will be going through, and that also gives me some comfort, because yes, it's going to be hard, both the physical and mental aspects of it. The structure, the loss of individuality, the harsh physical and mental training. But, a. they are 2 of the most driven people I have seen, a work ethic and a need to excel, and they will attack this (so to speak) no differently; b. they have been through so much getting to where they have gotten. Yes, the structure is a little different, but they are no strangers to being in a structured environment, told what to do, when to do it, how to do it. Basically, they are used to doing what they are told. Strenuous physical activity is no stranger to them as well. Experiencing struggles teaches you that you can prevail. Teaches you that you are strong enough to get through it. Teaches you that there is a light at the end of that tunnel. And knowing that, at times of hardship, can mean everything to the person going through that.

Their age, being mostly older than others enlisting (most do so at 18-21) has it's advantages and disadvantages. Advantages being having that insight and life experience that they have, especially starting their careers at such a young age. Disadvantage being that at this age they are all grown up, as in mostly know who they are, what they want to do with their life. Having to leave all of that at the door is not easy and takes adjusting to. But they are resilient. And their life experience and struggles they went through over the years will, as mentioned, definitley help them get through this as well.

For my sanity and mental well being I'm going to ignore the geo-political fuckery going on right now. Does willing things not to happen make them not happen? I'm going to go with yes on this. Don't you dare contradict me here. Let me live in my fantasy world at least on this one.

So yeah, it definitely won't be easy. Having each other's back there will definitley help, although having to keep their hands off each other in public will definitley be a challenge they will have to deal with. I digress. They will be ok. They have each other. They will get through this, and who knows, perhaps at some point (probably not basic training, cause that sucks) they might even enjoy their service (enjoy what they will be doing, feel satisfaction in their contribution to their country, who knows...).

And yet, knowing all of this, I'm still sad.

Because I already miss the shit out of them.

And it's kind of funny, because I know there is plenty of content coming up, including actual Jikook content, like just the two of them without the group as a buffer content, and that is definitely something to look forward to. And it's not like we were seeing them on a daily or even weekly basis before they enlisted (there were periods of time we were parched with them not to be seen or heard from for ages).

But this feels different. I guess knowing that even if they wanted to reach out, at the moment, they can't. Knowing that there isn't a chance of a JK restaurant visit popping up, or a surprise live makes it all so very real.

I'm not going to do the day counting. For me, that makes dealing with it harder. Maybe when we are down to two digits, definitely not before. I think I will just sit back, enjoy the new content they share with us, go through old content (there is so much out there, enough to definitely get me through the next 18 months, sob sob).

As for myself, well I'm not going anywhere.

Yes, I have something going on right now and am posting less often, but I'm still here, still around and will be posting and answering your messages.

We will all get through this together.

Wild Kratts: Our Blue and Green World Trailer.

Underneath the cut for those who consider it to be spoilery, but we have a trailer for the one-hour special, Our Blue and Green World, airing April 1st, 2024.

The Kratt brothers disagree on what's better; blue oceans or green forests. Aviva takes on the role of referee to demonstrate how oceans and forests work together to make our living planet, just like Martin and Chris need to keep working together. It's up to the gang to get Martin and Chris back in sync in time to save planet Earth from Zach and Paisley's villainous plans.

This special was first mentioned back in May of 2023 during an interview with Martin Kratt heralding the show's premiere of its 7th season. The original title was Blue and Green: The Living Earth before it was chaned to our Blue and Green World. The episode will feature climates and habitats corresponding with the Kratt's "blue and green." With it, will come the introduction of new Creature Power Suits: The ones we have seen thus far in the trailer are Indri Power, Green Anaconda Power, and Blue Whale Power.

My thoughts:

HOLY SHIT THE BLUE WHALE SUIT

HOLY SHIT THE BLUE WHALE SUIT

HOLY SHIT THE BLUE WHALE SUIT

*calms down.*

Ok but I'm starting to see a weird pattern in the PowerSuits in this season. For some strange reason, they have to retrofit the wearer's mouths to match the ACTUAL anatomy of the animal the suit is based off of. They did it with the Wild Pony and the Mountain Goat Power Suit and both of them were.... ugh. Now they did it with the Blue Whale Suit and to be fair, while I hate that particular feature, it's not enough to make me hate the suit. In fact, I kinda like it more because of how silly it looks (Martin is the perfect person to wear this suit tbh). Still though, I wish they designed it like the Crocodile, Hippo, or Puffin Suit where the giant mouth is simply an attachment that doesn't move while the wearer speaks.

For those who don't know, Indris are the largest species of lemur in the world (alongside Diademed Sifakas). They are the only animals besides humans that can find and use rhythm using "wailing songs" to communicate. They're also critically endangered due to slash and burn of their habitats and poaching for their flesh as delicacies (yeah, very odd that Gourmand isn't here, but I digress). There's an estimate to be less than 10,000 left in the wild and are expected to have a population net decrease by 80% within the next 30 years... yeah, considering that they're endemic to Madagascar, not a very good sign. I didn't even know what an Indri was until reading the article, and if I'm not the only one who had no clue about these guys, it's probably definitely a good sign that they're getting some spotlight in this show.

The Indri Power Suit looks so goofy, but again, something about how silly it looks just makes me appreciate it all the more. I... weirdly expected it to be way bigger like the Puffin Suit, but again that's just me.

I am a huge fan of how they designed the snake-inspired Creature Power Suits in the show. But the Anaconda Creature Power Suit... holy shit.

LOOK AT IT /POS

Look at the markings! Look at the green! Look at the patterns, and the color schemes! Chris FINALLY got a green Creature Power Suit to activate! Our boi won! It's also a pretty clever callback to the Amazon special where Chris met the Anaconda (I really hope the Power Disc for this suit is green because god that would be so aesthetically pleasing).

Ngl, if the old flash games were still on the website, and this was one of the Power Suits I could earn for my character, I'd play it in a heart-beat.

I'm really interested to see the Zach/Paisley team up. This season already started to utilize her better by giving her another solo appearance, and now we're seeing a 1 on 1 team up with her and another villain. I was always gunning for a Paisley/Donita teamup but this works too. They're both very similar characters that can bounce off each other in similar, yet different ways (I actually headcanon that they're related - second cousins to be exact - because of those similarities). The final battle is gonna be kickass.

If you were to tell me without any context at all that this was a screencap from the upcoming WK feature film (that this episode is often mistaken for), I would believe you. Because HOLY SHIT! The linework, the lighting, the hues, AND the shading! I am becoming more and more grateful for the 2-year long hiatus - the animators needed time to cook and they fucking COOKED. For an extended TV episode, this is pretty damn impressive.

People don't talk enough about this, but fun-fact: A lot of the animators of this show had experience working for Disney. Erika Worthylake was one of the artists on this show, doing several beta designs for animals such as wild ponies and salmon sharks. In 2019, she was the lead designer for Anga, one of the new characters in Disney's The Lion Guard (which, much like Wild Kratts, was animated in Toon Boom). Ben Balistreri had collaberated with the Kratt Brothers and Luc Chamberland in 2007 to work on the show's pilot episode, creating several different designs for the animated characters. Ten years later, he became the executive co-producer of Tangled: The Series. Kendal Brouet, who animated A Creature Christmas, worked on The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder in 2022. Just to name a few. It's just a fun little thing that comes up in the back of my mind whenever the topic of WK animation comes up, and this instance of animation is so fucking good that I HAVE to talk about it, because I have MAJOR respect for these guys, and if there were ever moments in the show that remind me "Oh, this slaps," I just remember what these talented artists worked on through the years and it clicks together nicely in my brain.

According to Whrokids, this episode is gonna have a runtime of 58 minutes. I found this screenshot of someone who did far more searching and sleuthing for new episode content (they were the ones who found this trailer actually). I'm not sure how valid this particular screenshot is, but if this is the case, then this will be the longest episode of Wild Kratts in history, and will be the closest thing we get to a Wild Kratts movie (until the actual WK movie is released in theaters).

Fucking. Hyped.

I'm sorry but I can't believe sex in ep6 even topic of discussion.

1)Why would they go to such lengths and spend their time and resources on making floaty sex, if it didn't mean anything and didn't serve any purpose? What purpose did it serve? Well, the first and last time we also saw floaty sex in ep1 and it was clear representation of connection and pleasure that sends you flying to Saturn and back. So, logically, ep6 sex too supposed to show connection and pleasure.

2) Next point (i'm not sure about this one tbh): perhaps there's one more parallel to ep1 scene - Louis "didn't consider himself a homosexual at that time" and we see cut to him having enthusiastic sex. In ep6 he was telling Daniel about being numb and we have cut to him PARTICIPATING in sex and not just lying there like a corpse.

3) They literally included Lestat stopping and checking on Louis and not doing anything before Louis kissed him. He noticed that Louis wasn't mentally there and stopped. Clear indication that Lestat wanted CONSENSUAL sex, if he truly didn't care he would just proceed to fuck Louis because Louis wasn't stopping him.

4) Give Louis a little agency, would you?(general you, not you, Nalyra) As I said, we didn't have any indication that Louis wad pressured into it, that lestat didn't care about Louis' consent and pleasure. Just because you're depressed doesn't mean you're incapable of making decisions. Louis' kiss was him reassuring lestat that he's here with him. He KNEW that lestat needed reassurance to proceed. Lestat can't read Louis' mind, he can't be 100% if Louis wants it or not, so he has to rely on what Louis TELLS him with words and body language. Louis told lestat with his actions that he wants him to proceed. That's Louis' decision, like it or not

5) I know fandom likes to act like Claudia is mentally 14 forever, but for majority of story she's grown woman. I'm actually not sure if she truly thinks Louis wouldn't mind her being in his head while they're having sex or she's actively disregarding his boundaries (that he didn't establish) but there's fact: it's weird. Maybe she thinks she's helping Louis to "cope" with sex because she's projecting her trauma with Bruce on Loustat (which is understandable!) but for me Louis' sounds uncomfortable, and resigned, half-heartedly trying to deflect Claudia. "Anywhere sounds like nowhere" - for me it was clear that he doesn't really want to leave and doesn't want to have this conversation but he fails to say it outright and shut down Claudia. So he just makes up excuses not to leave, avoids telling NO, and blocks his mind when Lestat notices that something is wrong.

So, my point, that cut from Bruce to Lestat was Claudia's mind coming to comparison. She thinks Louis does it to appease lestat, she's probably tries to help telling Louis about her escape plan, she views Louis' reluctants as fear of Lestat and that's it, when probably main reason is Louis simply not wanting to leave.

I'm so sorry for long essay, hope you don't mind! Love your work and blog:)

:) Glad you like.

And yeah... I cannot believe we're at this point again/still either.

Exactly. This is a deliberate thing, a deliberate connection to the best sex Louis had. As said before, it carries meaning.

Well, I mean, there are a lot more instances of Louis saying something and the show showing us something else. Or vice versa. That is... exactly the point. Louis is telling the tale for an effect. And that effect was to lead to the justified "murder night". But the why will be part of season 2.

I know

Louis is (not just) depressed because of Lestat. He is deep in the rite of passage. He addresses that on the bench. And yeah.. for some reason Louis' never gets his agency in these discussions. Because he could have moved away. He could have left. But he did not want to. He stayed right there, in Rue Royale during those 6 years (for example). Where Lestat could find him. But I digress. Louis does have agency, indeed. And it is often dismissed for some reason -.-

Claudia's thinking is very black and white, pun not intended. It's stark contrast. She hates and loves with the full power of puberty, at all times, no matter her mental age. Her hatred for Lestat colors her perception of Louis' love for him - she just cannot imagine Louis loving him. Oh she understands it. But to her Lestat is like Bruce, the worst of the worst, and she cannot fathom that there are actually vampires out there... who are much, much worse. That is part of the horror, that she just cannot... imagine, because ultimately Lestat and Louis raised her as a child and then a loved family member - not as a coven member. She has no point of reference, unfortunately. And no, Louis neither wants to have that conversation (but he is too nice to shut it down), nor does he want to leave. And that just... flies right over her head.

Neither Claudia nor Louis actually fear Lestat, and definitely not even after the fight. The car scene made that quite clear, imho.

Oh, they are angry at him, and justified in that anger. But fear? Nope.

I do think a lot of the problem and the reason that more people (like the ones who seem to think that "top/bottom as myers-briggs personality types" jokes are exclusively coming from female-centric fandom spaces rather than gay male offline culture - which, btw, ignores that a whole bunch if not most female fanfic writers are themselves queer and there's a similar set of jokes and stereotypes in the lesbian community, but I digress) don't seem to understand what offline queer culture is like on here is that way too many of the people setting the tone for this in The Discourse on Tumblr are very young people who are newly out. In particular, a huge amount of the gay men on here who are telling people how very Problematic this is (when they're getting it from gay men and not circular discourse among other women in fandom who are claiming to speak on gay men's behalf) is coming from young gay men who don't have much of a community offline, and especially young gay trans men who often aren't yet presenting as male outside of the Internet. It's really hard to talk about, because it so easily risks saying those people's identities aren't valid - and like, we've seen TERFs weaponize that discourse to suggest that gay trans men involved in fandom are just straight women who identified too hard with their blorbos or something, as well as the endless use of "passing privilege" to suggest that bi people in F/M relationships are "basically straight" - but I think one thing people need to understand better is the difference between "your identity is valid, your personal experiences with homophobia/transphobia/etc. are valid" and "your judgments about the larger community that your identity makes you a member of are valid." Like, you do actually have to participate in a community to be able to be able to talk about what the consensus in it is, what the cultural norms are. You have to actually look up the history in order to know that history. If you're going to speak on behalf of All Gay Men you probably should know some beyond yourself - including ones who are not Very Online and/or aren't active in fandom - and that goes for both cis and trans gay men. (And the same is true for every subdivision of LGBTQ+, I've seen similarly bizarre takes about "lesbian culture" from 17-yro lesbians who clearly haven't talked to any outside of Tumblr and insular, dramatic Discords.)

Like, to use an analogy here to another kind of oppression: say you have a black person who was adopted by a white family very young and lived in an exclusively white neighborhood and doesn't know any other black people. Obviously, they are still black, and obviously they still experience racism (probably especially because they're an outlier in that community). Obviously, their own understanding of their identity and their experiences with racism are valid. But they aren't necessarily going to have any better of an understanding of the broader black COMMUNITY - cultural traditions, history, etc. - than a non-black person who was similarly not exposed to that community. They can only speak for themselves. And someone who isn't black but grew up near/in black communities (for instance, perhaps another transracial adoptee who was adopted by a black couple? or even just a non-black person who grew up in a heavily black neighborhood) might actually have a better sense of that broader community/culture than they do.

And this isn't a hypothetical. I've heard stuff like that about feeling like outliers in black American culture from everyone from the aforementioned transracial adoptees; to multiracial black people who were raised primarily by their non-black family; to black people who are recent immigrants from Africa rather than descendants of slaves; to black people from Europe or other parts of the Americas, who have some similarities in their culture but it's not completely 1:1. And especially from people who are some combo of the above. They have an understanding of themselves as black and of their relationship to race and racism, of course, but don't really feel like they have a particularly strong understanding of The Black Community or The Black Experience as we understand it in the USA.

I think what a lot of people don't understand is that newly-out queer people are often like that. A lot of other marginalized identities - like being a cis woman (this applies less to trans women unless they've known from early on) or being a POC - are ones where you grow up with an understanding of what that means and often a connection to a broader community that gives you some kind of consciousness of what it means to be A Woman or Black or Asian or whatever. But with queerness, it's usually not something you fully understand about yourself until adolescence or adulthood, and even when you do, you don't necessarily have access to a "community" around that until that age because you're probably being raised by cis straight people. You have to take time to discover that community and learn about it, and the culture and history that goes with, and when you start out you're going to be just as ignorant as a straight cis person who is similarly isolated from queer communities. (And frankly, a straight person with a lot of gay friends might know better than you do at first! As a lesbian with a lot of gay male friends, most of whom couldn't care less about my slash fanfic hobby if they even know about it, that's precisely why I know that these takes on Tumblr are so bizarre)

(Disability is the interesting one because it sometimes overlaps with this, sometimes doesn't - and one of the big divides in the community IME is around people who have lifelong understandings of themselves as "disabled" vs. came to it more recently, whether because the disability itself is a new thing or just their diagnosis of it. A lot of people in the second group can have very similar experiences and act in similar ways to newly-out queer people, and I know because I've lived both myself, lol.)

I think people have taken the idea of "everyone is the best expert on their own experience with oppression and their own identity" and distorted that into some weird essentialism where being gay or bi or trans or whatever gives you automatic understanding of "queer culture" or "queer history" without having to do the actual work of talking to people, participating in that community, studying history, etc. but that's just not true. Anyone can study that history and get to know those people. And yeah, as a queer or trans person you'll have a better opportunity to really deeply know and be part of that community than straight cis people with queer friends ever will, but you still have to like. Actually put yourself out there! You're not going to find it by just discoursing in a vacuum of ignorance.

--

Sadly, to all the Olds, this is very, very obvious, but there's no way to make it obvious to the people doing it. It's a matter of experience.

Hey there! I hope you’re having a good day. I just saw a post you made about Dream’s type romantically. Thoughts on Calliope and Dream’s relationship specifically? It always stands out to me how though Dream has had a number of lovers throughout the millennia, Calliope is the only one he married. (And of course, Melissanthi Mahut and Tom Sturridge’s blistering chemistry in the show is an additional component for me xD but feel free to respond only based on the comics if you wish!)

Hey, always happy to see your asks in my inbox!

So, first of all; I don’t care what everyone else thinks:

Dream and Calliope are the OTP even though I’m not a shipper. There, I said it, hit me over the head with a hammer, I live well in that tiny little corner of fandom 🤣

Conceptually, they are very, very alike. There is definitely something in there about dreams marrying epic poetry (and eloquence!) that’s just so on the nose.

But I also can’t help thinking: Slight power imbalance maybe, and we also get this more directly via the “all gods get born and die in the Dreaming.” I think often about how this would have played out for them once Calliope’s last worshippers have died—it’s certainly a tough one, even if their relationship hadn’t soured.

But even so: She is the Muse of Epic Poetry, he is the Prince of Stories, so there is A LOT of overlap between what they stand for. And hence, a lot of mutual understanding. They always struck me as *getting* each other (probably why they fell in love in the first place)—until they didn’t. The fact they didn’t live together was good for them I think, because thoughts need to be allowed freedom to form and develop. Plus, there’s also a lot to be said for Calliope keeping her independence that way. Not just in terms of personhood, but again if you think of how she was essentially created in, and will return to, the Dreaming. It’s probably wise for her (in conceptual terms) not to hang out there ALL the time?

She seems a lot more grounded in the mortal world than Dream is though. I always thought that was down to the fact that humans know her, as in actively worship her/ask her for inspiration, which must make her much closer in a way? Because bar a few, no one really *knows* Dream exists, although everyone does, if that makes any sense? Mortals know him on a subconscious level (that’s why he’s forever nebulous and *lonely*), but people know Calliope as a deity and seek connection explicitly. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say here, but to me, that was always a reason why, although a goddess, she seemed far less removed from the mortal plight than Dream was (at least when they were still an item—we all know he changed, even if he didn’t admit it [well, he did in the end to Nuala, which is a whole ‘nother topic]).

And when I think about why they didn’t work out, I can only think: “Orpheus”.

I mean yes, she said that they were already starting to drift apart slightly before she was with child, but there was still a lot of love between them even so. I think the death knell was to have a child on these wonky foundations. Why they did, we’ll never know.

Conceptually, there’s again something very deep and painful about dreams and poetry becoming something real. And then, that mortal child becoming immortal (until his father finally intervenes). But Orpheus was still all mortal and human to his core, even when he became immortal for a while, and that was *always* at the base of their rift. But I digress…

Back to why was Orpheus the death of their marriage? Dream’s advice to Orpheus was sound, yet it was unfeeling and lacked empathy. Calliope’s was maybe (?) not as reasonable, but she understood her child because a mother’s love is (usually) unconditional. We all know Dream’s wasn’t for a long time although it should have been.

I think if they’d all sat together as a family, supported their son in his grief in a balanced way, this whole catastrophe could have been avoided (I mean no, not really—it’s a tragedy, “doomed by the narrative” and all that). But all of Dream’s relationships (be that to his son or his lovers) fail because he is unreality (hence he has a hard time when things quite literally get real), and despite *knowing* mortals on a very deep level, I don’t believe he truly *understood* them at this point. But I think Calliope did—maybe due to who she was, maybe just because she actually *allowed* them in? Because Dream never truly did that. And when he finally did and truly understood what unconditional love actually means, he came apart at the seams and unravelled.

There’s also something really interesting conceptually in thinking of the Prince of Stories who doesn’t believe he has his own, and the Muse of Epic Poetry who inspires. Who is trying to control whom in this scenario? It’s mirrored in how they behave when the whole Orpheus tragedy takes off:

Calliope tries to inspire and, dare I say try to control the narrative a bit, and I don’t mean this in a bad way, quite the opposite: She looks for the most favourable outcome for everyone involved, even if it means bending the rules: She tries to convince Dream to put in a good word with Hades and believes he would listen because Gods respect him and, dare I say it, are even a bit scared of him.

Dream is rigid. Which is so mind-bending for someone who is the personification of hopes, wishes and possibility. But he is an immovable object: If he’s right, he’s right. That’s the rules, that’s it. And he won’t bend them, not even for his son. I’m not saying that it’s not understandable from his point of view, because he might know things we don’t (potentially also that although he *could* bend the rules because he has the power to do so, it might have knock-on effects no one else can understand or see—it’s impossible to say), only that they are fundamentally different in their approach although they are *both* about inspiration. And inspiration is so closely related to bringing on change (ouch!).

Part of me wants to say that Calliope uses it to control the narrative while Dream doesn’t, that Calliope believes that we can change our destiny while Dream doesn’t, but that’s also too simple. Because Dream *can* be controlling, but in totally different ways and areas.

I feel like I’m rambling out a lot of unordered thoughts, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that Dream and Calliope were so close because they are so similar in so many ways bar one:

Their understanding how inspiration can be used to bring on change. I would somehow go as far as saying that Calliope understands what it means to have personhood, also for herself, and that’s why she understands it in others (I think this is made *very* clear when Richard Madoc holds her hostage). Dream doesn’t—least not at the point where it would have mattered with regards to their relationship, because I think the fishbowl has changed him in that regard. This is also why he wants to make things right with her I believe. But of course he would never openly admit it (he basically stops himself before blurting it out), simply because it would also mean he’d need to admit it to himself…

With regard to that meta:

I definitely think they were highly romantically attracted, purely down to who/what they are. I can’t say too much about their sexual attraction, but after Calliope’s speech at his wake, it would be somewhat unlikely to assume they weren’t 🙈🤣

Was it unconditional though? No.

Was it pragmatic (that sounds so bad and unfeeling, but it’s not a bad thing, because a certain level of pragmatism is what grounds love in reality and makes it last)? I think they tried. But ultimately, he can never live that way because he is unreality, and I often wonder if they both knew 😭

@two-hands-toward-the-sun ask answered

Hi.... :] before we get into this I wanna say one (1) thing: I'm pro-Palestine AND (shocker) pro-Israel. I'm hitting a hornets nest tagging this with pro-Palestine when how I view being for Palestine is so drastic to others' views.

Any sort of harassment or antisemitism will be reported and you will be blocked. We don't hate Jews or Israelis here. Also, if you tag this post with "to the river to the sea Palestine will be free" you're ignorant and dunno what the fuck you're saying.

This post is lengthy (imo) and just my personal spew on stuff, it's nothing like...revolutionary lol. I just need to get shit out somehow.

I don't get the anti-Israel crowed like....they know nothing and its so baffling they'll just say shit they don't understand the concept or history of. You can be pro-Israel and hate the Israeli government, you can be pro-Palestine while also realizing that the history is very convoluted and if you did a simple YouTube search about history on Palestine and Israel you'd be more educated. You can be both pro-Israel and pro-Palestine...shocker I know!

I've learned more from YouTube than in history class. I've also learned that antisemitism is very easy to fall into, which is something I knew but didn't understand. Pro-Palestinians I don't doubt actually care, I'd love to think most Pro-Palestinians actually give a fuck about the murders that're happening! The downside is that they're falling and repeating shit the fucking Nazis would say in the name of activism and see NO ISSUE. (Saying "gas the Jews" and holding up Nazi flags is, even in the name of activism, antisemetic.)

I try and not be cynical, but like there's literal dog whistles and antisemetic shit being spoken about and there's signs being put up that says "No Jews" and there's even fucking Tumblr blogs with "Jews DNI" on them. (I've seen them, they're very much real. Most of them have "Zionists DNI" which is usually just a dog whistle to Jews, but I digress.)

Don't get me started on fucking Zionism actually, no one knows what the fuck that is and they claim they do when they don't. It's so brain numbing!

"Go back to where you came from!" that'd be Israel....which you wanna get rid of. That's also what Zionism is btw. Jews are from Israel...please Google things before you open your yapper.

I can only find solace in the Jumblr tag (& similar ones) because they have knowledge about what the fuck is going on and I won't get called a "Zionist Nazi"!

In the face of chaos I will say that studying and my plans to convert one day is the best decision I've ever made; you can't get rid of Jews, no matter how much you want us gone. Reading the Torah, researching about Israel, learning the culture, the food, the language, etc. It's healing and I'm glad to be coming home slowly but surely. Am yisrael chai.

what do you think these interviews confirm for buddie, does this confirm buddie is coming?

I'll say what I said earlier to some friends:

Right now is Schrodinger's Buddie.

Which in layman's terms means: Right now in the two days before the season airs, two truths exist at once. That being: canon buddie and non-canon buddie. And we won't know the real truth until the show airs.

So, anon, my opinion is that I want and hope this spells good things for future canon romantic buddie. I think all of this is a step in a positive direction. ((I never put too much stock in articles or press or what the actors say, but I digress)) This is the most hope about canon buddie I've had in a while. I think it appears as if ABC and Tim & Co are trying really hard to get and KEEP (being the key word here) a new audience. I know a lot of people like to say that we (fandom) aren't their core audience, that the general public is, but I've seen this argument time and time again in the BTS fandom that disproves this strategy. So I will say it now:

A dedicated, long-lasting, ride-or-die, loyal fandom will ALWAYS be more important than the approval of the general audience.

The general audience will watch the episode once, form their opinion on it, and then go watch something else regardless. They *might* rewatch a couple episodes when a new season airs. They are not the ones out here streaming each episode over and over meticulously during off seasons earning the show and the networks all their money when the show isn't actively airing. They're not the ones supporting every little side-launch, or keeping the name trending, or keeping conversation relevant, the ones willing to buy merch, the ones willing to spread the word, the ones actively converting other people into die-hard fans. The general audience will not be the people in 10, 20, 30 years rewatching all the episodes for the love it, or keeping a dedicated fanbase active and alive and creating works decades later. Fandoms do. And what does this fandom want?

Overwhelmingly, the fandom wants buddie. In my opinion, going through with romantic buddie is the best thing ABC could do to get and keep a brand new audience and secure the forever-loyalty of their returning audience.

The network wants a return on their investment, but the truth of it, is that they won't get that return on investment unless they actually prove to their audience that they're not just investing in giving the show cooler effects, or larger emergencies, or nicer sets, or more expensive production, or flashy advertisement. The real investment needs to be in the characters. In getting these characters where they need to go. The only way to satisfy your audience and to get them to keep coming back for more is to satisfy the character arcs they've set up over the last six years, and create new arcs that will keep audiences invested for years to come (like ABC so obviously wants).

I've also heard the argument that most people only come to the show for the flashy emergencies. And I get it, but at the same time, any show could create fun/crazy/bombastic emergencies. The thrill-seekers will always chase the craziness that can be replicated in any other random show and for them it's easy to drop 911 and move on if they want thrills.

What keeps people so heavily invested in this show, in 911 in particular, is the characters and their relationships with each other. Character will always ALWAYS be the most important thing to any piece of fictional media. Not the plot, not the emergencies, not the setting, not the effects, etc. Characters are how we as humans create connection. If they lose that connection, that will reflect in viewership, numbers, money, etc.

In my humble opinion, and the opinion of a lot of people who watch this show (even the silent general audience or people who don't ship buddie romantically, or the people who like buddie but think it will never happen so they just shit on it) the person who Eddie and Buck belong with (in whatever way you define it) is with each other.

This isn't something the fandom came up with, this isn't built on the back of fanon. All of this stems 100% from the show itself, so why wouldn't they want to execute to the fullest the story they've so clearly been telling the whole time?

This is just a long-winded way of saying, I, a humble tumblr user with zero connection to the show or its decision makers, don't know if this means buddie canon or not. But I will always remain hopeful until the show airs its last episode, because buddie makes sense on literally every level.

Okay another instance of "fuck canon" that's not just Pharma-related, but Ambulon related. I keep thinking of Luna-1 where Ambulon called Pharma "Doctor DJD" and I feel like that's such a total "he would not fucking say that" moment. Obv JRO controls the characterization so what's in the comics is canon/right, I just think that it doesn't make sense for someone in Ambulon's position with his backstory to be that petty towards Pharma?

Ambulon's a Decepticon traitor, he's on the DJD's List. Moreover, he's stationed on Messatine which is the DJD's home planet and is (was?) still an active battle front until very recently.

Proof that Messatine being the DJD's territory is common knowledge: not only First Aid, who's stationed at Delphi, but also at least three Autobots on the Lost Light, know that the DJD make Messatine their home. And this is long before Pharma does his monologue to Ratchet about his t-cog blackmail with Tarn.

Proof that Delphi/the nucleon mines were in an active warzone at least until Pharma started his plague: Pharma wouldn't have had any t-cogs to harvest if there wasn't a continuous stream of soldiers/war-dead coming in to use as his supply.

So then, Ambulon knew fully well that he and all of the rest of them were right next to the DJD's home base, and as an ex-Decepticon he knows he would be on the list. Probably not very high on the list, since Ambulon was a mere MTO who got turned into a failed combiner experiment, but he IS on the list; just because the DJD only proceed through the list in order of importance, doesn't mean that Ambulon wouldn't know that they'd come for him eventually.

And this is a really fucking neat idea to play around with! We don't ever get a canon/explicit explanation for why Prowl decided to station those three medics on Delphi, especially one who's an ex-Con on an execution list. Did Ambulon have a choice? Or was he told to go there with no argument? Either way, I think Ambulon deserves some major kudos, because he must have ball (bearings) of steel to be an ex-Con in DJD territory without constantly being on the verge of a mental breakdown or panic attack. I could honestly write a whole post on the question of "why were these three stationed on Messatine" in itself, but that's for another time.

The point I'm trying to make here is basically that Ambulon of all people should've been sympathetic to the circumstances that drove Pharma to do what he did: they were ALL stationed in the DJD's territory and they knew it, they ALL knew that the DJD's playbook is horrific torturous murder, they ALL knew that Ambulon was a former Decepticon. It wouldn't take a genius for everyone at Delphi to piece together the fact that the DJD would come for Ambulon eventually if either he wasn't evacuated or Delphi as a whole wasn't evacuated. But I mean, this is wartime, right? Every soldier is risking their life, everyone could die at any moment. They can't close down Delphi or evacuate all of the personnel in an active war front battling over a mine just because a medic or three might feel unsafe. Nowhere in war is safe. If High Command let everyone abandon their posts who was afraid of being killed, nothing would ever get done because war comes with inherent risk of death that all soldiers accept by participating, as well as accepting the obligation to follow orders on threat of punishment. (Almost as if Pharma couldn't have just evacuated or run away like Ratchet suggested, but JRO clearly isn't a military expert so I'll digress/chalk it up to "wasn't plot relevant to bring up".)

We got all of like, two pages that showed Pharma and Ambulon's working relationship, and the best we have besides that is JRO's word of god that Pharma and Ambulon had 'mutual reluctant respect' for each other. It's highly unlikely that the two were best buddies regardless, but I don't think you need to be friends with someone like Pharma, while sharing the same situation as him, to be a little more sympathetic to him? Like I get that Ambulon would be offended by the idea of his boss trying to frame him for murder to cover up his own murders, but the "Doctor DJD" line always seemed weirdly callous and petty to me. "Doctor DJD" implies that Pharma was some sort of willing collaborator or servant to the DJD which clearly wasn't the case. And I find it hard to believe that Ambulon, who knows exactly what kind of people the DJD are, would have an opinion of Pharma that was just "oh he should've tried harder/been less of a coward and resisted." Hell, Ambulon's reaction to Sonic and Boom showing up at Delphi asking for refuge was to instantly take pity on them and offer them shelter immediately; if he feels protective/sympathetic towards literal random nobody Decepticon soldiers, shouldn't he have at least as much feeling (if not more) for another Autobot who he worked with and supposedly had respect for?

Assuming that Ambulon got the full details of Pharma's blackmail deal. I mean, there's no reason to assume that Ratchet would've lied to First Aid and Ambulon about what Pharma told him (unless??? conspiracy theory!!!!) , so Ambulon should've heard about the t-cog deal and how it was the only reason the DJD didn't raze Delphi to the ground so long ago. Then again, maybe Pharma's story got explained to him and First Aid via Ratchet's extremely judgemental take on events, so who knows how much of Pharma's side of the story Ambulon would've actually known.

But wouldn't it be so much more interesting if, instead of sneering at Pharma as "Doctor DJD", Ambulon had a more conflicted perspective of Pharma's face-heel turn? Would he wonder how it is that someone who he had such respect for could've been so despicable? Or, more sympathetically, would Ambulon ever wonder if Tarn threatening Delphi was his fault for being there? Would Ambulon wonder what he would've done in Pharma's position, being forced to bargain to postpone his own horrific execution? Would he be angry at Prowl or the higher-ups for stationing them all in such a dangerous post to begin with?

I mean, the answer is that Ambulon was a tertiary cast member at best, to the point that half of his appearances on the Lost Light literally are shown in retrospect after he died, so there would've been no room to explore this in the plot, and Ambulon and Pharma were way lower priority compared to other, more important protagonists. I just think it would be interesting to explore these questions in other metas and fan works.

And yes, I do think Ambulon would not fucking say that ("Doctor DJD") regardless of what canon actually says lmao.

I just really wanted to respond to the assignment outlined in this tweet...

Why can't I watch Sydney and Carmy be in a friendship with tenderness and obvious chemistry without pushing for romance?

The short answer is, I can watch without pushing for romance.

The extended answer is, I AM watching without PUSHING for romance.

Yes, they both have chemistry and they are both actively trying to deal with each other with care and tenderness because they are in an intimate relationship with each other already. They are business partners.

Intimate Definition:

So because Carmy allowed a close connection to start with Sydney by not only hiring Sydney but making her his number 1 in HIS family business, it would be wise for them both to exercise tenderness as much as possible when dealing with each other. Now I can go on a tangent about WHY he made her his number 1, but that's for another time. But just to add to the fact I won't discuss now, let me leave this here: Carmy checks often to make sure Syd is on board while Syd checks often to make sure Sugar, Carmy's own sister who he SHOULD be checking on, is on board. But I mean, Carmy said he can't even ask Sugar how she doing cause he don't know how he is doing most of the time, while constantly asking Syd how she is doing, so we know the "Men will do it (make it happen) if they WANT to" applies directly to Carmy... (and we ALSO know how and when that statement is usually used-and if you want to act dense, that usually is applied when a man is attracted to a woman and wants to make something romantic happen with her) but I digress.

Now, from what I see, people are picking up on what I noticed the minute Syd came on the scene in Ep. 1 Season 1, that there COULD BE something between Carmy and Syd. The writers and if not them, then the editors keep putting little plot devices in our face and making the COULD BE even more of a thing than what I initially picked up on. And there are so many great post that point out what those moments, interactions, conversations, scenes are. So I will not include them here.

Now it was stated in the post that chemistry isn't the only reason two people should start dating. And to that I say, you don't say? Really? I'm glad you know that and shared with the rest of us. Cause once again, what most people are commenting on is what COULD BE. Not what CURRENTLY IS.

You see, CURRENTLY, we are in season 2 and are still getting to know everyone and what makes them tick. We, the audience, who has a bird eye view, is STILL getting to know everyone. So if we're still doing that then naturally so are the characters with one another. They know less about one another than we know because they dont have the bird eye, omnipresent view. And all of this is controlled by the writers and editors. So no, currently I and I think most people who see Carmy and Syd as being a viable option for one another is wanting to see them start dating now.

When will they have time to establish a REAL romantic connection that doesn't take away from our thirty viewing minutes of the plot? Not anytime soon, that's for sure. But can they continue to give us 5 second moments that continue to build up what could be? Yes.

Now the question does remain, can they actually establish a real romantic connection? Yes. They definitely can. However, not in the way I am interested in seeing on THIS show with THIS plot. This is not Bridgerton, so I'm not interested in seeing Bridgerton type romance on The Bear. And I think most people will agree with me. You see, we already know this show isn't about romance. It deals with serious topics regarding business, family, mental illness, and human connection. And many people feel showing a romance would disregard those topics because of how romance is traditionally handled in media. Does that mean romance is not serious? No. It just means the way it is portrayed many times within a plot not needing romance, leaves one wanting...

However, The Bear may not be about romance, but as mentioned above, it is about Human Connection. And holding onto, and building on that human connection despite flaws, hurtful words/actions, because the people who portray them and suffer them are willing to change, improve, and do better.

I mentioned above that Syd and Carmy already have an intimate relationship. And THIS is what can potentially makes them Endgame.

Romance can be fleeting, it can be just like we witnessed between Carmy and Claire. Claire clearly had butterflies (idk about Carmy so much. He was very closed off with her and the moments he wasn't was told to us rather than shown to us) but their situation was the type of thing that we could have done without. Though, I believe Claire was needed, not only as a foil character, but as a plot devices as well.

However, in contrast (something the editors also wanted us to do with all there three-way contrasting scenes involving Claire, Carmy, and Syd) what Carmy has and is developing that will only get stronger the longer Syd sticks around and vice versa that Syd will develop the longer Carmy improves and sticks around is a deep respect and a deep love.

They are already intimate because of the business. They speak to each other intimately (also because of the business while some kind of way NEVER mentioning the business) personally, vulnerably. Carmy wants to hear Syd speak about her feelings, dreams and ideas. He even wants to hear her speak about her personal business though that part is hard for her to do. And Syd wants to speak about those things to Carmy even when it's difficult to do so.

THAT is the kind of intimacy I want to continue seeing on my TV screen. I don't need 5 minutes dedicated to them on a date, giggling and laughing about nothing! I need 5 minutes of them sitting closely, talking lowly about deep personal things that they can later laugh about together. I need the eye connections from across the room cause they GET each other and know what the other is thinking. I need small smiles of flattery that never get to be too much because they are in a professional setting. And at the end of the night, after they've worked another successful day at a restaurant that runs itself cause it's that successful (like Terry's restaurant) and they are just showing up to work cause they "still love to cook" but don't have to if they don't want to, they close down shop, walk out hand in hand down the street bumping shoulders like two best friends on their way to their SHARED home where private things happen privately (cause seeing all that is not important to the main plot. Though I wouldn't mind 😏).

That is Endgame.

That is slowburn

(And that ain't happening next season folks. I do not want them getting together sexually or otherwise next season. They have a lot of work to do not only on their restaurant but also on themselves). That is what I'd call an intimate relationship that hasn't distracted from the main plot, but that is still very real.

Now for those who think that possibility is "forced" that's most likely because Syd is a dark skinned black woman. Not actually because you can't see Carmy and Syd happening.

And for those who only see her with Marcus, that also may be because she is a dark skinned black woman and you really want to see her with a black man. Not actually because you can't see Carmy and Syd happening.

The same way I can see them remaining professional partners, only cause the writers and editors may decide to stop playing in our face with the hints regarding their already established intimacy, is the same way you should be able to see what is literally playing in your face when it comes to Carmy and Syd interactions, or the way they think/speak about/to each other.

So now I'm asking you to examine why you can't watch Sydney and Carmy be in a friendship with tenderness and obvious chemistry without admitting that the writers may decide to take it in an even more intimate direction, and being OK with that if they do?

I’ll need a few days to really process the last episode, so don’t expect any meta until the weekend.

But I wanted to write a post about why I believe in the writers and why I think that … this sounds so arrogant and delusional, but that my predictions here* are roughly what will happen and queer folks can stay hopeful.

(*tl;dr: Essentially that Colin will be the inspiration for main characters to address their queerness, Ted Lasso spent two seasons straightbaiting its entire audience and this season will end queer as fuck)

When I started watching Ted Lasso I thought it would be a fun, but silly little sports comedy, but very soon it got obvious how the show featured heavier themes and that they didn’t follow the expected script. Like, when Rebecca tells Ted the truth, you’d normally get some drama and rising conflict – but we got instant forgiveness.

And it got soon obvious we’d get a love triangle with Jamie, Keeley and Roy and – as someone who knows how the script goes – my first assumption was, that Roy x Keeley will be endgame (which was sad, since I adored Jamie x Keeley from the beginning, but I digress).

But some of the things that usually put me off love triangles were missing: there was no prolonged unnecessary drama after Roy learned that Keeley hooked up with Jamie the night before, Jamie and Roy didn’t fight over who would “get” Keeley (even though Roy’s jealousy sure was one reason for the tension between him and Jamie, but it wasn’t the only one), Jamie didn’t try to actively win Keeley back throughout the second season, he didn’t try to sabotage their relationship, even though he still loved her. The rocky parts in Roy’s and Keeley’s relationship weren’t related to Jamie at all, on the contrary, Jamie kind of unintentionally fixed their problems.

So, when they diverge so much from the expected, should I really still assume they’ll end the show with the thing everyone expects to happen? (like, in classic romance structure, Roy and Keeley now had their third act break-up, that always happens before the happily ever after … but as Phil said in an interview, they’re situation is a lot more complex than you’ll usually get.)

So, anyway, Ted Lasso was playing with expectations from the beginning. You’d expect Ted x Rebecca and Roy x Keeley endgame cause that is how the classic narrative works but the show subverted classic structure in the first season. So why should we assume that they just stick to the classic script now?

Also the theme song:

“Yeah, might be all that you get,

Yeah, I guess this might well be it“

I always thought, for an optimistic show like Ted Lasso this was a kinda sober beginning. But if you look at this with a queer eye … Cishet people are so used to seeing their happy endings playing out, so that is what they’ll expect to get. Until the last couple years, queer people barely got any stories with happy endings, so you didn’t exactly grow up with the expectation you’ll get a happy ending.

So you just had to take what you got.

But on the other hand the song has this hopeful bit about trying and not giving up. And … okay, I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but, idk, it just feels like it would fit as the theme song for an ultimately hella queer show?

And there are a lot of allusions to “The Wizard of Oz”, starting with the title of the first episode, Ted being the “Man from Kansas” aka Dorothy – googling I found this post pointing out a lot parallels in the second season, so it is not just me being delusional again.

For context: The movie was released 1939. Between 1934 and 1968 due to the Hays Code people couldn’t be shown as being explicitly queer in movies in the US, so writers started to queercode characters to still indicate queerness. And there is of course queercoding in “The Wizard of Oz” just like Ted Lasso and the movie as a whole resonated a lot with queer audiences, making Judy Garland a Gay Icon (see here). 

Both the movie and L. Frank Baumans novels have a lot of queer subtext (like, there is even kind of a trans character in the novels?). "Friend of Dorothy” was a way gay men referred to each other at a time, where they couldn’t just openly ask about someone’s orientation.

Fun Fact: The movies title song “Over the Rainbow” soon became a queer anthem and people wondered whether it inspired the rainbow flag. But the creator, Gilbert Baker, said he was inspired by,

wait for it,

“She’s a Rainbow” by the Rolling Stones (see here).

Rings a bell?

The episode “Rainbow”?

Roy returning as a coach to Richmond?

Also: Jamie comparing the team to the Rolling Stones? Himself to Mick Jagger and Roy to Keith Richards, who both wrote the song?

And, looking at episode titles some more: The color "Lavender" is so queer it has it's own LGTBQ-section on Wikipedia. Also the bisexual pride flag, where the colours overlap to form lavender? There was probably some other reason I forgot that the episode where Jamie returned was called like the queerest color ever, but still …

WHAT A BUNCH OF CURIOUS COINCIDENCES!

Oh God, the more I look, the queerer everything gets! I think I could go on some more, but I need to get breakfast and then some work done.

The way the musical portrays the relationships through musical numbers is great. Yes, yes we all know elephant love melody using love songs to flirt or backstage romance being the show stopping act two opening. However, today I want to talk about the other relationship that gets expressed in a similar fashion, that actually goes a bit under the radar. It did for me the first few times. Let’s talk about Satine, the Duke and Diamonds.

During the sparkling diamond number satine keeps accumulating more stage jewelry pieces, and the final look with an additional necklace looks awfully familiar…

This is a nod to the film but it’s also a clear show that the Duke “staked his claim” in her long before they ever met in person. Her entire number in fact only goes to further play up the image of her he has in his mind(in the movie he even greets her with a kiss on the hand) it also goes to show some of her own motivation. Here’s the thing! I think Satine would have been satisfied with the Duke, she gets a comfortable retirement, jewelry and all she has to do is fake it every once and awhile. It’s not perfect of corse but she won’t have to worry about the streets… this was before she met Christian, before she discovered Love isn’t just a fairytale but something even she can have. Suddenly, security and being left alone just isn’t enough when she can have something real.

Satines relationship with the Duke in the musical is better, I love a man child as much as anyone but for the Duke to be sauve and a active threat? Not to mention that in this version she’s alone with him for long periods of time making the jealousy, on all ends, much more justified. It’s even more interesting because she seems to like him, on some level. Not love, not like, tolerate. She’s on a first name basis calling him Andre, she goes on regular walks, she gets bought pretty things. Toulouse calls her out on this “you won’t give up the Duke” she wants her safety net and her love— she thinks she can have her cake and eat it to basically. My favorite show of this is the “because she doesn’t love you!” Scene.

“How could you let him do this to you?” (She’s also trying to distance here to keep him safe, but I digress)

“What? Make me happy? Stay out of it”

“BECAUSE SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU!!!! … him…”

“….I think it’s far more complicated than that, lad”

Of corse this was all before the Duke revealed his true colors to her, until this point it’s sort of been a “honeymooners” stage. He’s been trying to buy her love. She’s been accepting the objects but her love is still with Christian. As he starts to realize he can’t have what he really wants her starts to get harsher, until he gets verbally and later physically abusive. It’s sort of fascinating as he puts on a nice soft face and talks about wanting her love but it’s also quite obvious he wants her for a status symbol more than anything else. In sympathy for the Duke he takes a while to even touch her, he skirts around the idea, but he wants her to love him fully but he does not want to do(or possibly is incapable) of doing so in return. There’s always hints at the possessiveness like “my little girl loves to sparkle. … all my things sparkle”. However only girl in the material world makes me loose my absolute mind at all it reveals.

Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love

Like I’m the only one that knows your heart

Like I’m the only one that’s in command

‘Cause your the only one who understands

How to make me feel like a man,whoa

It’s a bit on the nose. “I need a mistress because all my friends have one and I won’t be sufficiently manly enough if I don’t have all this stuff” . He thinks he’s being so generous when he wipes away every part of her , tells her how to act, stand, dress etc. However it’s Satines lyrics I love the most, she gets a bit of a reprise.

A kiss on the hand

May be quite continental (Material girl)

A kiss may be grand

But it won't pay the rental (Material world)

There may come a time

When they're no longer calling (Material girl)

And so I must climb just to

Keep me from falling

I absolutely adore this little part of the song as it echos through the theater and there’s this look in her eyes as she’s starting to realize what the Duke is actually doing (every beautiful thing in you compromised by his lust and money). But she doesn’t budge. She loves Christian but she’s getting old, he’s broke, her world is at  jeopardy. I also love how it’s expressly showing her self preservation- she’s not talking about the theater, about the others — but her own security. The kind of life she lives everyone would instantly understand a action to save herself. Except Christian, he is becoming apart and desperately wants to be but he’s still so much of a outsider that he can’t comprehend this as much as he tries. This also comes before satine realizes how far along her illness is, she still believes she can just power through at this point in time but it’s getting harder. The men in her life are starting to grow jealous, her chest is growing tighter. She can’t balance as much as she wants to — she’s not at her A-game but refuses to admit to herself that she’s compromised in more ways than one.

⭐star⭐ for Ilimbe?

(director’s cut ask game)

Yay Ilimbë my darling thank you for asking about her!!

Ilimbë is a story about storytelling, and mythmaking, and how much the telling of a tale reflects onto the narrator themself. For that reason, one of my favourite threads in this fic was the myth of Ilimbë: both the version Finwë tells to Fëanor at the start, and the version Fëanor tells Lalwen later on. (That second version of the myth was something I agonised over a little: did I really need to repeat the story again just a few thousand words later? But ultimately, it’s such an important part of Fëanor’s characterisation that I couldn’t leave it out.)

So there’s the way each storyteller starts out his version of the myth:

“There was an Elf,” said Finwë, “of great beauty and cleverness; but he had no wife.”

which Fëanor immediately clocks as being a thinly-veiled reference to his father himself; and

Fëanor stifled a smile. He was persuasive. “Very good,” he said. “Well, then. Once there was an Elf of great cleverness and beauty — and there was nothing he loved more than to work with his hands.”

Lalwen is a rather less annoying child than Fëanor, and interrupts the story far less often than he did; but she, too, notices straight away that the main character of the story bears a startling resemblance to her brother. So the story starts out with both narrators immediately casting themselves in the role of the protagonist, and their opening lines end up revealing rather a lot about their respective self-images: note Fëanor’s “cleverness and beauty” over Finwë’s “beauty and cleverness”, for one. Fëanor’s extraordinary intelligence is SO important to his idea of himself.

Finwë then takes the story on a rather lengthy digression about Where Ivory Comes From, which Fëanor, who is much less patient, skips to get to the point:

And, being crafty indeed, the Elf carved a beautiful maiden of ivory; and she looked much as a living Elf-maid did, so that more than once his companions would mistake her for a real person, and try to speak with her before they realised.

he is talking! about! his! crush!

On a more serious note, a lot of this story is about Fëanor trying to cast various people in his life in the roles of Ilimbë and her maker: he compares his lifeless, white-skinned mother to Ilimbë, and himself to both the statue and her maker, a crafter and a crafted thing both; but after a brief fling with the idea of Nerdanel-as-Ilimbë, when he attempts to flirt with her by comparing her very pale complexion to that of the statue-maid, he settles on the realisation that Nerdanel is an active person, a maker of beautiful things rather than merely a beautiful thing herself:

Nerdanel was no Ilimbë, to be sculpted and moulded at his will — he could not make her into someone whose sole purpose was to love him. She would wear no adornments of his making, his flowers in her hair or his gems at her throat: she was always entirely, unutterably herself.

So, back to the story he tells Lalwen: he compares Nerdanel to the unnamed Elf even before having this realisation, and drops in the detail – absent from his father’s telling of the story – that the Elf’s sculptures were so realistic people tried to speak to them, which is a talent of Nerdanel’s mentioned somewhere in HoME.

“The Elf brought Ilimbë gifts,” he continued: “all the finest gems, and ornaments wrought of gold and bronze, and sweet-scented flowers, too.”

Here’s another divergence from Finwë’s telling of the story, which is lifted more directly from the story of Pygmalion in Ovid’s Metamorphoses: in the original, the Elf brings Ilimbë flowers, seashells, and droplets of amber, but Fëanor instead chooses to mention gems and metal ornaments – things he himself is good at making! (He and Nerdanel have swapped roles for a moment here again, he the helplessly devoted lover and she the beautiful ideal). Pressed to specify, he decides "at random" that the flowers are peach-blossoms, which. hmmm. sure thing, Fëanor. (Later, of course, he does attempt to literally enact this scene in the story – although probably not consciously – by bringing Nerdanel peach-blossoms to wear in her hair, but then he never gives them to her, motivated in part by the knowledge that Nerdanel is not a crafted thing for him to decorate as he pleases. My FËANOR IS NOT AN INCEL agenda showing here a little.)

The biggest difference between Finwë’s version of the myth and Fëanor's, of course, is the ending:

And Vána the Ever-young, who loves all living things, heard his prayer, although he had not named her in his thought: and the scent of flowers on the breeze came sweet and strong to his nostrils.

(Sidenote, but this detail is obviously a later addition to the story: when Finwë first heard it at Cuiviénen, the Elves had never heard of the Valar! I pondered that for a bit before including it, before deciding that in fact it did make sense for a myth to grow later revisions as religious beliefs shifted.)

But Fëanor, who has very valid reasons to resent the Valar even in his youth, cuts the "divine intervention" part of the story entirely, and fuelled by a sudden spurt of jealousy gives Lalwen a much darker ending:

“But he went hastening to Ilimbë,” he said, “and put his lips to hers — and to his great surprise, they gathered warmth from his. And the Elf watched as before his very eyes colour bloomed in Ilimbë’s white cheeks, and her lungs drew breath for the first time: for he had loved her enough, it transpired, to bring her to life. But as she stirred, and smiled at him, the Elf felt his own hands grow cold, and his heartbeat stuttered. For in his love he had given too much of himself to Ilimbë, and his own fëa grew weak as a candle-flame in too strong a breeze; and as Ilimbë watched he fell down dead at her feet. And he has never returned to dwell among his people, and his ivory-maid mourns him yet. The end.”

Míriel comes into everything he is, every facet of how he perceives the world: and so the story which started out as a cute little projection of his growing love for Nerdanel becomes, very suddenly, a parable for his own mother's death. Now, suddenly, Míriel is the crafter, and Fëanor casts himself in the role of the crafted thing, loved so fiercely that he killed his maker. Does he even understand that art can be made without killing the artist? Unclear, especially considering that he is going to go on to make the Silmarils.

The line "his own fëa grew weak as a candle-flame in too strong a breeze" is a reference to Míriel's illness, but any mentions of spirits and fire in the same line obviously evoke Fëanor himself, too. And a lot of this is foreshadowing of his own eventual fate, doomed never to return to life. Although later in the story he rejects the comparison, he's really very much like his mother.

Oshi No Ko Chapter 146 - My Thoughts/Analysis

This chapter was mostly setup, but I do think there are a couple of nuggets of wisdom to be gleaned here, so I’ll get right to that. Spoilers for Oshi No Ko Ch146 below.

So we return to the movie filming with Fril as Airi and Aqua as Hikaru. This is an interesting confrontation—especially the part where FrilAiri mentions that Taiki is Hikaru’s child. Whether or not the actual Hikaru knew beforehand that Taiki was his child is up in the air, as well as whether or not this scene even happened in reality are interesting questions that we likely won’t have the answer to unless we get it from Hikaru himself.

The expressions here are just superb, I have to say. And Aqua with black star eyes again…Can’t say I’m surprised, really, since he tends to do this when he gets into highly emotional acting, and while I think his current “default” state is white star eyes, he’s already shown a tendency to activate his dual black star eyes when acting with emotion, as we’ve previously seen in the Tokyo Blade arc.

We cut to another movie scene with Hikaru and Ai. And the fact that it’s labeled misunderstanding is quite a loaded name for the scene in particular. Ai’s answer to Hikaru here…it’s certainly an honest answer, which I think makes his reaction after this scene so…well, perhaps devastated isn’t strong enough a term for it. He knows that she’s being truthful and that makes it all the worse. Having the scene cut away like that without a continuation for Ai following up on her words leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It’s the perfect time to explore these characters, even if it’s only a muddled version of them.

What the—so many scenes passing by without any spotlight??? You’d think they’d show all these scenes—the scene labeled AI’s rejection in particular—but what the hell?

On one hand I understand why—the pacing of this arc is already quite disjointed and choppy so we need to pick up the pace, but with how things have been proceeding—just skipping all these scenes over doesn’t sit right with me. Because by skipping these scenes—unless they show what really happened later down the line—the manga is essentially saying that these scenes don’t matter for the narrative at large, which is a tough pill to swallow considering these scenes might be integral for the reader to get a better insight on Ai and Hikaru’s characters, even if they’re obscured through the movie like this.

Really, it might’ve been better to have the movie filming be done while other arcs were happening at the same time. Productions, as I’ve noted before, often take months for everything to get to a stage where they can actually film—and the filming often takes large gaps of time before everything is slated for editing. You can’t just show parts of a movie production and then tell me that there was nothing narratively relevant in the long stretches of time between takes for the movie. Especially because of the haymakers that were Chapters 123 and 143. We need to get used to the new normal between the protagonists and how they think about their current situation!

The disconnected pacing and implicit time skips are already dragging the arc down. I keep on mentioning it because there’s such an easy fix for this issue. Just expand the arc’s scope as a B-plot within a series of other arcs so that the pacing doesn’t feel so simultaneously bloated and at the same time too fast-paced. Let the characters' circumstances sink in for the readers so that we can explore them better over a longer period of time. But I digress. I’ll have yet more thoughts about this arc’s pacing when it finishes, I’m sure.

Back to the chapter. We see Aqua staring grumpily at the script, two black stars in his eyes. The aftereffects of his emotional acting at work—getting close to Hikaru mentally, or at least his perceived image of Hikaru. It’s worth noting once again that Aqua’s just going off of guesswork—unless those thrice blasted CDs are going to come out of nowhere to joss my theories again. I do wonder how he thinks of Hikaru now, though, after Aqua tried to get into his head with the script and understanding his backstory.

A wild Kana appears! Let’s see where this trainwreck goes.

Oh damn Aqua with his suicidal ideation in front of Kana. That’s really surprising. He’s been open to her before, but he’s very rarely let his true thoughts and feelings become evident for a variety of reasons. Mostly because Kana isn’t really the best person to talk to for these sort of emotional heart-to-heart conversations.

And of course tsunderes are not good therapists. This attempt at supporting Aqua through his issues is so very in-character for her that I just laughed out loud reading it. I’m not sure what anybody expected considering how insensitive Kana is in general. Her heart’s in the right place, but those words were almost certainly not the right ones to use. If this was Aqua of the pre-143, or if he were more mentally ill, then this entire conversation could’ve backfired immensely on her.

Aqua saying that he has fun with Kana when he’s with her is both fitting and hilarious. On one hand, it’s fitting because she has the least baggage compared to the main cast, on the other, it’s hilarious because she doesn’t understand Aqua’s Issues(™) at all. She doesn’t examine Aqua’s problem or take the time to get into any introspection to why Aqua behaved like that in the first place, instead focusing on her delusions of a potential romance with him instead of on Aqua himself. If a friend of mine behaved like that in front of me, I’d be a bit more thoughtful when dealing with any sort of suicidal ideation instead of brushing it off in favor of stewing in her own hopeless delusions.

“It’s like he’s saying that we’re compatible indirectly.” Someone please escort this romcom character off my screen before I lose more braincells watching her. Please, thank you. Her chances at the Aquabowl have already cratered since she lied to Aqua saying that she doesn’t see him as a romantic partner, so stringing this up further is just adding insult to injury. It would almost be kind of sad, but I’ve lost the majority of my sympathy for Kana as a person this far into the series.

We’re cutting to Ruby now. And in a shrine, no less. Wonder if we’re getting into more supernatural setup.

Oh. My. God. Well, well. I was wondering when Hikaru would be showing up, but I didn’t think it would be this direct—he’s obviously been stalking Ruby, since I don’t believe for a second that this meeting was left up to chance. I do also recall that Crow Girl said that she was going to give Ruby some punishment last chapter but I had hoped that she’d thrown that plan away!

IT ENDS LIKE THAT??? AND WITH A BREAK NEXT WEEK???????

Okay—okay. I have Thoughts on this chapter as a whole, both on the Aqua-Kana chip scene and the Ruby-Hikaru scene.

Kana cheering up Aqua with the chips combination is very…I don’t want to say unnecessary, because I understand what the authors were trying to go for. Aqua’s going to need other people in order to help him get out of his rut, a support system to help him deal with the symptoms of his other issues. I just don’t see why this couldn’t have been done with some of the other people in Aqua’s life. Akane, Mem-cho, Taiki, Miyako, hell, even Melt could’ve done almost the same thing that Kana’s doing to raise Aqua’s spirits and get their own thoughts on this whole production. 

Kana’s okay for this purpose, I guess, but she’s already had more than enough screentime during the production that could’ve been used for some of our other cast members. They brought back Taiki, Melt, and even Akane for this, so where’s their contribution to the narrative during this arc?

It also bellies another problem I have with this entire scene—Kana is a breath of fresh air from the dreary scenes we’d seen in the chapter before, but it seems like in this scene she’s only being used for the purpose of setting the ambience back to something that more lighthearted when instead the tone of the scene can and should be done otherwise. Is it necessary for this scene to lift up the reader’s spirits after the first few scenes of the movie filming? No, especially with the ending of the chapter leaving us off on a cliffhanger. It breaks the tone that was presented to us at the start of the chapter and leaves this conversation looking out of place considering how serious the topics were at first. It’s as if the manga itself isn’t confident enough with its tone that it has to lighten up the reader’s spirits through Kana.

I also think it’s of some note that I don’t think this conversation “saved” Aqua in any capacity. Kana shook Aqua out of his funk while he was feeling the residual emotions of emotional acting. If this was Aqua pre-143 I doubt we’d be seeing his white star eyes return to him in this conversation, especially since we’d already seen Aqua and Kana interact with pre-143 with black star eyes, and nowhere in their numerous conversations did Aqua regain his white star eyes. 

The scene with Ruby and Hikaru though…I’d been wondering when he’d be showing up in this arc, but this was a big surprise. I’d expected that he’d be showing up close to the end of the movie production, but having him appear here also leaves the door open for more of his interference with the movie filming. 

I will say that unless he has a good reason for it, approaching Ruby like this is almost certainly a bad move. He’s already cottoned onto the fact that Aqua’s making the movie for revenge, and it’s not a leap to assume that he’s gotten Ruby on board with his plans in the first place. It’d be safer to assume that both of the twins know what Hikaru look like, so him approaching Ruby out in the open is showing his hand too soon. There has to be a reason for that other than whim. 

I don’t think he wants to kill Ruby or Aqua. Even if he did, he wouldn’t be killing Ruby here. Of his two murders(and I’ll put a pin in the fact that whether or not he killed Ai is still up in the air) he’s always either proxies or used indirect means to kill his victims. Being face to face with Ruby here, like this, doesn’t fit his modus operandi. It’d be too messy to kill her with his DNA all over the scene, in an area where there could be witnesses.

He already has access to both the script and information about the movie thanks to Kaburagi, and so he has all the ammunition he needs to shut down the production if necessary. Letting the movie continue on like this—even if it doesn’t have his name on it—is risky enough that it’d be better to err on the side of caution. So that leads me to think that he either can’t get it shut down, which is doubtful when he’s allied with Kaburagi in some manner, or he wants the production to continue, which already casts doubt on his motives in general.

The fact of the matter is that there’s so much we don’t know about Hikaru and his motives for much of anything. His appearance in Ch109 with him killing Yura feels to me both a red herring and an intentional misdirect. We’ve already seen characters say one thing and think and or act contrary to their words, so it wouldn’t be out of place. We think we know him through the movie script, but that movie was both supposed to be about Ai, and also made for the purpose of Aqua’s revenge scheme. Aqua thinks he has a grasp on Hikaru’s character, but we’d already seen him be wrong about Hikaru once, when Aqua thought he was dead, and unless he has some sort of special insight through those blasted DVDs, we’re once again left mostly in the dark regarding his true character.

But now that he’s actually shown up in front of our main cast, we might get some answers to the questions that have been plaguing us from the start of the series. I desperately need to know why he’s interested in Ruby and not as much towards Aqua. The obvious answer is because Ruby is paralleling Ai, and Aqua’s paralleling Hikaru himself, but that feels much too easy on my part. Either way, with the cliffhanger, I wouldn’t be surprised if we get to delve into his character a lot more during the next chapter.

Time to fucking die. So my uni gives a lot of course options. Like some classes you only take for the first/second half of the semester. And i have a second half class that starts today….. anyways it’s a gender and religion course (🙄) and i sort of had to take it cuz my degree is so small and only offers it’s courses like never and this just so happened to be one of the ones it offers and your girl needed wst credits!! But I digress….. so I’m going through all the introductory stuff on canvas just knowing that this will be an interesting (derogatory) and probably triggering class and I get to a line (from my prof) that reads:

“My academic specialty is [……. Insert some words here……..,] including (especially) Mormonism, [……….insert more words…..]”

So just so y’all know…. There’s a really high likelihood this blog is going to be super active for the next 7 weeks (I am also preparing for a 7 week long mental crisis) (and yes I knew what I was getting myself into and accept that but I’m still going to complain about it)