#but i did go ‘im a very thoughtful person and so i get in my head a lot. my friends make plans last minute and i cant participate which is
Note
as someone who's an azul kinnie im curious why you placed azul on the slightly dislike list considering you like scheming characters
[My TWST character tier list is here.]
I think the easiest way to explain it is that I came in with the wrong expectations of him? I thought Azul would be similar to what Jade’s character actually was, so Jade ended up upstaging him in that regard. Essentially, not all scheming characters are equivalent; Azul has other traits which weigh him down for me.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll reiterate it here because I feel it is very relevant for Azul. I… tend to not like “main” guys because of of how much they appear everywhere (including merch and marketing); it makes me feel like I’m being “pushed” to like them specifically rather than being allowed to think for myself about who I like. This is the case for dorm leaders, which includes Azul. Additionally, “main” guys tend to get more of a story focus (also true of the dorm leaders), and that in of itself can be a double edged sword. It means more information + backstory about that character, and while that’s great for lore and fleshing them out, it also means potentially polarizing the fans who were content with their perception of the character prior to the reveal. Once that change happens, it completely shifts how you see the character and then you can’t go back to how you felt before. This was a painful factor in what I call the “stock market crash” of my opinion of Azul Ashengrotto.
I actually quite liked him at first. I took his hand at the start when I first started playing TWST back in 2020 ^^! I even *gasp* simped a little??? (weird AU where Azul was my oshi instead of J word…) He was every bit an intelligent and calculating deal maker as I suspected he would be—well, at least that’s what the few vignettes available at the time and book 2 implied. Back then, only books 1 and 2 were available in full and book 3 was slooowly being updated in chunks. And really, I was liking book 3 a lot (he was still being a silly little scumbag, lol) and took no issue with it… UNTIL THE LAST PART DROPPED 💀 AND WE GOT HIS BACKSTORY…
Now 💦 I’m aware that the OB boys’ backstories usually garner sympathy and enhance the preexisting love we have for those characters but… Azul’s backstory actually had a very strong opposite effect on me. It was the moment I realized, “Hey, maybe I don’t like you as much as I thought I did.” I’d describe the feeling like having a pleasant dream and then you’re suddenly violently awoken by a loud alarm clock, a screeching parrot, and Sebek shouting in your ears at once.
I want to be clear when I say I do not mean to demean or to diminish Azul’s experiences of being bullied. I also do not mean to shame Azul for being (rightfully) upset about his circumstances or for being emotional. When I say that I started disliking Azul because of this backstory, it’s for a very personal reason: I just don’t like stories where a victim of bullying becomes a bully, thus perpetuating the cycle. It’s sad to see someone go down that path, spreading more hate because of the hate they had received before… and I’ll never believe that revenge is a good response for an injustice 😔 Azul’s case is a little different, as he does eventually go on to recognize how far he has strayed from the benevolent ideals of the Sea Witch and is now actively trying to work on himself (which I appreciate and applaud him for). However, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth that I can’t quite scrub away. I think it’s because I found myself relating to kid!Azul in some ways, so that personal connection amplified the disappointment I felt in the decisions he made. It feels like looking into an alternate reality where I, too, went down a dark path—and that thought is unpleasant, to say the very least. Now I view Azul more like a cautionary tale and keep a safe distance from him.
#twisted wonderland#twst#Azul Ashengrotto#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#notes from the writing raven#question#book 3 spoilers
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
IM WEAK IN THE KNEES. NEW SASHISU ART…
i want to speak on their drink choices for a moment… satoru with his monstrous, sickeningly sweet drink. probably some odd type of milkshake or float?? idk i’m having a hard time telling. all i know is that being next to that would make me break out in hives (it’s hard out here being strawberry’s no. 1 opp ☹️) but he probably goes out of his way to request something so horrific to the workers… suguru and shoko look on in terror.
suguru and his drink… hm. we know how he makes his tea. with one sugar cube. but it doesn’t really look like tea based on the coloring so i am going with black coffee. i also thinks he puts in. one sugar cube. or (judging by the little shakers next to his cup) one little shake of sugar. it is my personal belief that suguru does not like overly bitter things but he doesn’t like particularly sweet things either. he’s somewhere in the middle. he cherishes taste though in his younger years because it’s so much better than having to swallow curses… i have this thought that when he’s older, so around jjk0 time, he doesn’t have much of a sense of taste anymore. in those 10 years, he has consumed A Lot of curses and at a certain point i think his taste buds just kind of went numb… poor guy.
bonus, i can see suguru turning for a second and satoru taking the sugar shaker and dumping some in his coffee like he did with the spices to riko’s ramen in okinawa… a menace, that man.
anyway!! miss shoko!! again, a bit hard to tell by the coloring. maybe it’s cola? iced tea? i really did like zoom in and try to tell but i can’t guess. maybe she does like cola… maybe it’s something she and satoru bonded over too because we know his soda of choice is cola. except for when he’s with suguru, in which case he takes whatever suguru is getting (based off of the hidden inventory outro) shoko is lovely and a healer but let’s not act like this girl doesn’t practice the most unhealthy habits you’ve ever seen… definitely would not put her past drinking soda bright and early in the morning. silly girl…
in case you could not tell, i am very normal about them.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#sashisu#satoshoko#satosho#sugushoko#sugusho#satosugu#i think they are all very settled in their tastes#and i think suguru and satoru stick to those choices into adulthood#i don’t think shoko drinks soda much anymore. especially after reaching the legal age and discovering alcohol LOL#doctor shoko ‘canonically the heaviest drinker’ ieiri#i love them all sooo much#sabe is gnawing at the bars of their enclosure
35 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! A bit of a weird ask here, hope you don't mind. (I swear it's not meant in bad faith)
So, I'm new to the fandom. I'd wanted to watch the show for a while and I finally found time. I did like it, and all the characters, esp Hen and Buck.
Even previous to watching it, I had seen many posts about Buddie. I didn't think much of it until I watched the show. And now I can say... I don't see it. Like, from Buck's side? Sure. But from Eddie's? Not so much.
They both clearly act like Christopher's co-parents a lot, and that's where I'm like "oh, maybe there IS something". But outside of that, I actually see their interactions as mostly platonic. And when I see people talk about it, I see mostly about how Eddie completely trusts Buck with his son (which I agree with and makes a good point), but not much else.
So, what am I missing? Sometimes some characters are harder for me to "read", so I know there could be stuff that I'm missing. What interactions do you see from them that are so clearly romantic (at least more so than they are platonic)? In which ways do you see Eddie showing feelings for Buck?
Sorry about such a long ask. This might be more of a rant (oops). I just really want to understand, bc everyone's so sure... and I'm not. (Also, thanks for reading if you got this far)
So i’m obviously not going to tell you thst your interpretation is wrong- art is subjective and your interpretation of things is completely valid.
that being said, to me i see myself in eddie in a lot of ways:
- only son in the family, so i had unrealistic expectations fixed on me about what my life as a “man” should look like (im not a man, im nonbinary but i was still amab so to my parents i’ve always been a ‘man’)
- raised in a very religious household where there were certain expectations on who i would one day marry and have a family with (because not getting married at all and never having kids was out of the question)
- i was repressed for years emotionally (and sexually) due to pressure from my parents/church and thought there was something “wrong” with me for the feelings i felt
- i often revert to anger as my default defense mechanism because i have repressed my emotions for so long (which is something i am working through in therapy)
so seeing those things i relate to reflected in eddie, it is easy for me to pick up on subtext (whether intentional or not) when it comes to his sexuality/feelings for Buck.
you mentioned eddie trusting buck with christopher— to me this is one of the clearest examples of eddie’s true feelings for buck because he completely trusts the most precious thing in his life with Buck, but he has never even come close to that same kind of trust with any of his romantic partners… even shannon he was apprehensive about letting her back into chris’s life. this means he trusts buck on a level he has never trusted anyone else before— and not to get into psychology, but often when people are repressed emotionally, they find ways to feed those feelings without overtly feeding them if that makes sense. so eddie giving chris (who is practically his whole heart) to buck is essentially eddie offering up his heart on a platter.
so that gets that one out of the way.
as for other examples… i am going to state again that eddie is more repressed than buck and doesn’t show emotion as easily as buck does so Buck’s attraction/feelings are going to be more clear-cut and obvious.
but i am constantly seeing examples of eddie’s feelings for buck interwoven subtly through things:
- crying over buck after the lightning strike when we had only ever seen him cry twice before
- the hurt in his face when buck said natalia was the only person who “saw” him
- the way that he gets overly jealous and acts petty around buck’s romantic partners (the most egregious being Taylor, but we have seen it happen in his other relationships as well)
- the fact that he has never been able to fully allow himself to have feelings for the women he’s dated
- he is looking for a mother figure (second parental unit for chris) but has already effectively filled that role with buck
- he is constantly looking at buck like he hung the stars and the sun and the moon
- he has only started going off the deep end of this fixation with shannon after buck came out to him, and he is onyl actively remembering their relationship as what he wished it had been rather than what it was— something i used to do back when i was still in denial about my sexuality was imagining this dream life where i was happily married to a woman because that is what i was supposed to want, not because it’s what i actually wanted
- eddie is the only one who has shown he understands buck’s recklessness is less him being reckless/thinking he’s unbreakable, but that it’s actually buck seeing himself as invaluable enough that getting hurt wouldn’t affect anyone around him
- one of my favorite scenes is post lightning-strike when eddie climbed the ladder and instead of trying to lower buck to the ground immediately, he initially tries to pull buck closer to him while screaming for him
the list could go on and on and if anyone else wants to leave their observations on eddie’s feelings for buck in the replies by all means please do! but these are just a few ways in which i have personally seen eddie’s devotion to buck portrayed in a light that is much deeper than a platonic level.
i hope this made sense and offers a new perspective for you, and i’m glad that even though you haven’t seen enough evidence in your own interpretation, your first instinct isn’t to jump down people’s throats to tell them they are wrong, but instead reaching out and asking for other opinions to better contextualize why us buddie shippers are so invested in these two!
(and never apologize for a long ask to me… if there’s one thing about me i love to yap lmao)
i hope you have a lovely day, anon!! 💕💕
40 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello! i have a question, but i dont quite know how to word it….
i like listening to people’s thoughts on hxh, because sometimes its difficult to collect my own thoughts and hearing others articulate it helps me form my own analysis. usually it clears up confusions on narrative choices, however this thing still confuses me because ive seen lots of meta which sometimes conflict with each other or infos from the show. maybe i missed something?
i dont want to link anybody because i dont want to “call them out” but its a frequent opinion ive come across, so not one person. but what i hear sometimes goes along the lines of: gon vowed to sacrifice everything to defeat pitou -> killua arrives -> despite going through with his jajanken, killua’s presence causes gon to realize he doesnt actually want at all to sacrifice everything and the vow is broken (causing him to lose his nen when he recovers from the physical toll)
i really love this reading. the scene where gon turns to killua right before the screen goes white has always been impactful and seemed important to me for reasons i cant explain. but i’m reluctant to adopt it because the way i understood the nen vow was that it was actually a condition—that gon would only use this power to kill pitou, and then per the “rules” he would lose everything as equivalent exchange when pitou was defeated. and that the reason why his nen was lost was because nanika healed him as he was—which was nen-lost. but the show mentions vows and conditions in conjunction so much sometimes the difference gets muddled in my brain, so i suppose im confused about that as well.
i guess im just asking your thoughts on killua and gon’s love for him potentially being the thing to cause gon’s vow/condition to break. i think its a really sweet idea but im not sure if the mechanics of what exactly gon did to kill pitou support it
sorry for the long ask. please have a nice day!!!!!
Hello! Great question!
So, my way of understanding it is that Gon traded all of his nen potential (meaning all of his nen he had at that time and all of the nen he would have ever had in the future) in order to achieve his adult form and have enough power to kill Pitou. By the time he had achieved that form, he was already doomed to have no nen once he used up the massive but finite amount he had, which was his whole lifetime worth. Like taking out a loan on the full amount of money you'll ever make in your lifetime and then burning it all, but more abstract because it's not money.
It very well may have killed him as well, if not for Killua arriving. Think of the cost to his body to unnaturally achieve that form and use that much nen, which is what Killua recoils at realizing when he sees Gon in that form. I'm sure this is why he ended up as such a withered husk afterwards.
Killua showing up definitely saved him, however, both because he helped him dodge Pitou's Terpsichora and in a more far-reaching emotional sense as well. I think when Killua arrived and called his name that final time, it made Gon realize that he wasn't just giving up his own future--he was giving up his future with Killua as well, and by giving up his life it was going to destroy Killua and leave him alone. Gon had steeled himself to die prior to this, but looking back at Killua's face, his expression entirely changes, softens. As a result, I think Gon holds back a bit with his final Rock and preserves himself just enough to keep his body going. Then Nanika heals Gon's body, but this doesn't undo the nen contract he made--even though his body fully recovers, he did still give up all his nen potential, after all.
(I'm very sorry for posting these pages, know that it breaks my heart to look at them.)
So, the way I see the scene, it's less about the mechanics of it, as that's relatively straightforward. Gon losing his nen was already set when he decided he wanted to give it all up in order to be strong enough to defeat Pitou. It's more about how Killua reaching Gon impacted him emotionally and made him hold back to the degree he could at the very end. Because at that final moment Killua was able to reach him at last--by saying his name, an echo of other scenes in the arc with Meruem and Komugi.
I absolutely think the intent of that scene is that Killua has become Gon's light and saved him--by showing Gon that he wasn't alone, that there was someone else worth living for, that Killua cares about him and doesn't want to lose him. Gon lost sight of that previously amid his trauma and guilt, but in that final moment, he truly sees Killua's horror and pain at what he's doing, and Gon realizes he doesn't want to leave Killua behind forever. Gon manages to barely survive as a result.
#hunter x hunter#hxh#gon#killua#killugon#gonkillu#meta#asks#anonymous#my posts#chimera ant arc#ugh it's painful examining this scene in depth#just heartbreaking#but it's definitely about how killua's love saves gon#tw: suicide
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--
But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.
And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.
That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.
Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.
And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"
So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.
Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#the case of the very long stairway#im sorry this really IS the short version of my thoughts i swear#i didnt want to get long and rambley backing everything up and mentioning everything else this forces me to reconsider#i just feel like i've barely interacted w this fandom and still seen quite a few odd duck takes on this moment imo#i dont think he wouldntve got the nerve to say it otherwise#(he was already going to! & if anything his new experiences in hell only cement that being the right choice)#and as much as i get what fear can do to a person i still definitely dont think he was resigned to staying in hell if charles reacted badly#i truly think he just couldnt keep it to himself any longer#the show is upfront about his escaping hell being a testament to his own strength rather than a lucky break of some sort#so i think even being on the receiving end of a rescue mission getting out still must take a lot of strength in this universe#and telling charles that definitely made him stronger/in less pain#so yeah totally necessary it happened where and when it did in my book#also i hope it doesnt sound like im being dismissive of anything charles says in this scene#but the way i see it those were all things they both already knew#so reaffirming them just adds to the idea that the act of Telling Each Other Things is what's so important here#rather than counting as a truly separate thing this conversation achieves#just my two cents
131 notes
·
View notes
Text
Last piece ❤️💙
There are still leftovers of the Calendar as well as some A5 prints with calendar pieces 💞
linktr.ee/Mezzy (or check my Tumblr for links)
#klance fanart#klance#voltron legendary defender#ooofff you ever feel like you keep doing things and things are still to get done???#i keep saying this every five posts#i start to think loving getting in the 'art zone' is my biggest vice#because sure i sketch or do some digital work from time to time but if i haven't sat down to draw for hours#until eyes sting and neck cant move and brain sleepy af? is it drawing anymore? is it living anymore? yeah i thought so#im the main person making grocery shopping in this house did you know? for three people#there is always something running out and like let me tell you i already answer business emails while eating#i cleaned the windows today before my first coffee#okay to be fair i started it but apparently i used the wrong bottle and i smeared anti grease all over the windows#and then finished my coffee staring at the curvy roads of a thin film painted between me and the world promising myself to never do anythin#before first coffee#either way i feel like i havent been very present or entertaining lately#by which i mean on and off for months#am i correct or am i partially correct or reimagining things? who knows#but i keep having so many things i want to do it just keeps on going#i'm starting with commissions now#BUT THEN!!#haha yeah i hope you are having a great November and enjoy this piece!!#sending hugs <3 if you like them if not#a gentle wave from a far
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Heddwyn "Wyn" Caldera is a freshman from Diasomnia. He's well known in alchemical circles for multiple revolutionary breakthroughs in the world of potions, the first of which he discovered at eight years old. Though invited to NRC last year at age thirteen, he waited a year before accepting a position at the school.
here he is my baby boy......!!!! been tossing this kid around in my head a lot lately and wanted to make a profile card for him to show him off to the world. imagine me as a proud parent and ive pulled this out of my wallet.
based off the black cauldron. both the movie and like. the cauldron itself. naturally he is good at potions. since the cauldron is essentially a mcguffin wanted by everyone the idea is that he's extremely good at what he does but is also pretty vulnerable to being used. he's also very stone-faced bc he's...... made of stone............ get it.............
template is from here!
#twst oc#twisted wonderland#his fave food is veggies bc i think being a 14yo boy who eats Spinch and Enjoys It is funny#im still turnign over his unique magic in my head........ i think the thing i initially wanted for him im keeping for his eldest brother#he and deuce get along well (he is a cauldron) but tbh i dont think he has many other friends#i think theyre parters in pe and i think he tries to tutor deuce in potions and i think both these things go badly. u kno how it is.#if he put as much effort into his magic as he did his potions hed be a prodigy there too. unfortunately he likes Stir and Brew.#doted on in science club. rook praises the shit he works on and he gets so excited and happy and trey is just glad theyre getting along#tbh i dont think trey realizes at first baby is literally world-famous hes just like. theres a kid in this club. ill be nice.#has a good rship with crewel overall tho theres always an odd line for him to walk btwn 'this person is a revolutionary genius at potions'#and 'this kid is fourteen and the most awkward child i have ever taught' u kno.#he ta's in the third years class sometimes. as you do#looks up to malleus and dislikes lilia (too playful/unserious for his tastes) respects silver a lot but finds sebek Very Rude#(they are seat mates)#OK THATS A LOT OF THOUGHTS FOR TAGS and i wnana lie down. think abt my baby please. ok goodnight#wyn stuff#how do you art
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me? actually trying to do tarot cards?? sounds fake
#composition is something i definitely still have to practice a lot so tbh its good that im finally making myself do this xD#the neira one is the only one so far where ive tired blocking colours so far cos its the only one where i had a p solid palette in mind#def have to either deepen the shadows in the face or remove the tears/blood/death smoothie bc rn it looks kind of weird fjsdfl#oc: neira surana#oc: liam hawke#oc: june trevelyan#my ocs#my art#wip#tarot cards#so uhh. theres nothing super deep tbh but some thoughts behind some of the stuff#first thought was having a similar setup/comp for all of them but i am probably not gonna do that#sticking to suit of cups for neira cos its the perfect excuse to keep put the joining chalice there lol#also the circle cos. she is a circle mage. very far fetched i know#it does also fit w being trapped and going in circles and w life/death cycle so. there's that#liam gets angsty three of swords imagery because of course he does#i kinda wanna mirror varrics post hlta card and also that one abstrac-y thing i did of liam some time ago#also chains maybe? for kirkwall and for not letting go and all that#for june i do like the close up in theory bc i like having it very focused on /her/#bc her development in dai is much more personal rather than strongly tied to the central narrative#& also focusing on her magic cos thats an important part of her & her development (& it fits her v egocentric mindset thru most of dai)#but it also looks too. idk. powerful? like she's in control. which she absolutely isnt lmao#so the other one is kinda the exact opposite direction. more zoomed out & dynamic but i want it to feel more claustrophobic too#sort of. trapped animal kinda deal. trying to get out. keeping the fire theme tho#(ignore that her glowy hand is on the wrong side i accidentally drew it flipped lol)#i am. not good at detailed and or nuanced composition so everything turns out p bold and on the nose ^^''#it's a start tho!#(i do have more thoughts than what i wrote lol but i am running out of tags and also im tired)#feedback/tips are def appreciated btw! :>
66 notes
·
View notes
Note
if you could... describe aftg in 5 words
oh this is not as easy a question to answer as it should be akfhsdkf bc like. i could describe its plot, or my thoughts on it as a fan, or how it makes me feel, or just make a joke, or or or and bc idk why you're asking it makes it harder :'))
but let's see...
plot: gay sports mafia found family.
fan: drama, familiarity, trauma, comedy, home
feelings: love, understanding, chaos, joy, comfort
joke: you know, i get it-
(as you can see, i couldn't pick which one to go with, so choose whichever 5 words you want lmao)
#anyway the hard part is cus like. if you're already a fan then you KNOW it's plot#and i would go with either feelings or joke probably#if you aren't a fan you won't understand joke and maybe want the plot to see if you'd want to read it#in which case getting my feelings or thoughts on it could also help you decide#especially bc 'gay sports mafia' is something it has been described as OFTEN#and thus you wouldn't necessarily need ME to tell you that#anywya#i spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME thinking about this so ya know. i do hope you see this kshdfhsd#i know how it can be sending anon asks#especially if you don't follow the person you sent it to like MAN rememebring to check in and then scrolling the blog to find it????#so sorry i never shut up here#anyway if you ARE someone who hasn't read it yet and are interested; please feel free to reach out to me with any questions!!!#aftg contains a lot of potentially triggering material so it's good to have some understanding of what you're walking into!#(i did not but thankfully i'm not easily triggered by most things lmao but it still is nice to have that warning)#aftg#askers#anon#shh ac#also if you HAVE read it please appreciate my joke. i think im very funny.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
"We should respect trans mascs and butches because they protect us at pride"
So I get what you're doing with trying to argue against the anti-masculinity crowd and trying to say that trans mascs and butches are an important part of pride as a way to emphasize our place in the community
But...
Why us?
Why are we disposable? Why are we not worthy of protection?
When are you going to protect us, too?
#'mascs do the protecting but i prommie its because im woke and not bc i love to reinforce gender norms that posit men as the protectors of#femininity'.#also i wanna say something similar about how ppl sometimes treat trans poc like this#like we are valuable not as people but as battering rams as bodies for white protection#but my thoughts are too messy rn to form the post well#goddd and how ppl treat butches is so fucked up.#i understand that butch lesbians roles are traditionally understood as being protectors but like#when are you going to protect butches? when are you going to get in someones face to protect them? how do you think disabled butches feel?#just... i feel like. ppl forget that feminity can also be weaponised in a good way#(not that you HAVE to weaponise femin. in order to protect mascs for any reason)#but like. im a 5'3 small femme. i very easily pass as an upper middle class woman.#i may be black/mixed but i have a mediumish skin tone and i live in canada#i absolutely have the power to step in front of someone and raise my voice in feminine indignation#what are you gonna do? hit me? youre gonna hit a tiny 5'3 'woman' in a skirt that has kitties on it?#the idea of feminine people as weak can cone in handy! because esp large men know they WILL face social consequences for hurting ppl#like me.#especially if i start crying.#itd be more effective if a white person did it but i have that power too
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Im worried what people would think of you then, that you're just a personal whore or something- i don't want to ruin your reputation.."
"Are you kidding? 'My dick was so good i got promoted-' Thats the biggest flex i can think of!"
"Well, you're certaintly enthusiastic about this."
#ive been thinking of the au from @planethoneybee's tags in that writing prompts post#on the topic of giyuu wanting sabito to have political power in case something happens or someone tries to pull shit-#him & shinobu debating the pros and cons of giving him title of concubine before giyuu brings up the social aspect#so shino calls sab in to get his thoughts on the matter directly and it made me laugh#another bit w sanemi- theyre at a meeting talking abt finances and theyre talking of cutting sanemi's beetle funding-#G: i can pay for it /Sane: what? /G: keep as much funding to the project as possible- i'll finance the rest of it out of my#own allowance. that works doesnt it? /Shino: i suppose. ..but you'd do that for beetles? /G: i see importance in it. /Shino: very well-#sanemi doesnt thank him or even mention it but he definitly looks at giyuu differently after that- he used his own shit to keep#the project going full blast? damn. he did that for sanemi's beetles. man.#somethn somethn giyuu bringing up the idea for shinobu to have a personal guard(/helper) as well#shinobu 'i know what you are' @ giyuu before he hurriedly explains he doesnt mean get a side hoe hes genuinely just#offering to find her a trusted guard/helper whos sole purpose is to do errands n shit specifically for her 'oh! that sounds nice actually'#'sab has someone in mind for you- says shes one of the best in the forces and a pleasant personality' 'ill see that for myself first'#'okay [thumbs up]'#im imaginging a mix between european kingdoms & east asian/chinese/japanese empires except i dont know shit about either#only thing i vaguely know is theres advisors & like sub-royalty & in traditional japanese more (/complex) layers of clothing = rich/royal#the 'sub royalty' has a name im p sure. i forgor. fuckiinnn.#nope its just not there. oh well. giyuu w the fingerless sleeve-gloves my FUCKING beloved#also vague thought of sabito & mitsuri wearing helmets that utilize their pink hair as fuckin. yk the european knights#w the stupid ponytail thing/romans w the gold helm/red mohawk thing. somethn like that#they wouldnt wear like full Heavy Armor like knights do their fighting styles & w the close-quarters they wouldnt need it#but like for Show at Fancy Pantsy Time theyd dress up similarly#loserboy giyuu posting#loverboy sabito posting#sabigiyuu#of all the shit i have for this au THATS the scene that gets front page. dick joke funniee#(in case its not clear text goes Giyuu-Sabito-Shinobu talking)
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fact that at this point i dont even feel depressed or scared or anxious whenever i get reminded of my abuser and i instead get angry and start thinking and sometimes even saying the most venomous shit about her and wishing death on her. shes not really in my life much at all anymore but it still pisses me off and i still have to see her occassionally and at this point i feel like next time she tries to come to my apartment i wont even let her in and tell her to play in traffic or something.
#ramblings#i just realized while typing this since i wonder why she showed up in my thoughts again this week#her birthday is today#i hope she dies.#genuinely im so angry that i ever had to share my life with her#and im still angry that she still is the tumor on my family that is ruining it#genuinely it would be so much better for pretty much all of us if she died#i have wanted to make fun of her to friends lately but tbh only like. two or three of my friends even know her enough to understand my ange#and even then i dont think it would be very fair to them to basically go on an insane rant about my abuser because im mad#i should get my anger out in some other way#vent#it fucking sucks too because her sister and her mother are extremely sweet and i honestly kinda like being around them#how the hell did she turn out to be such a vile and terrible creature when her sister and mom are absolutely amazing#also doesnt make it much better when she talks shit about her sister and makes her out to be evil when like????#shes actually a nice person unlike you!!!!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
trying to determine which parts of my relationship with sex are asexuality, which are trauma, and which are autism is like trying to have a conversation with three people talking loudly and all at once
#just to be clear: asexuality as a result of trauma or neurodivergency is still asexuality. full stop no debate.#anyway because i love oversharing on tumblr dot com: feeling very sex repulsed on this day#i was joking with some guy about fighting each other (specifically said ''you ever fight a girl over 200 lbs? id break your ribs'')#and like three different people said something like ''well that would probably turn him on''#and. listen. i get it. that was a joke response to my joke threat#but what i felt in that moment and still feel now requires nothing short of academic study to understand#first of all: how dare they make me feel embarrassed in a social setting when i was doing so well.#secondly: why the fuck would me making a threat make them instantly think of sex#thirdly: how fucked up is my body image that i hear that and immediately think they're all out of their minds#i like fat women. i am personally attracted to fat women. not (usually) sexually but i do think they are very nice to look at#so why is it so hard for me to accept that someone else could find me attractive as well !#i think about being in a situation where a relationship and/or sex is a real possibility and i flinch like its going to hurt me#but why???? where is this aversion coming from !!!!! i am a hopeless romantic i daydream about romance all the time#so whats the deal here. is it subconscious bc of my asexuality and i associate romance with sex?#is it because of my autism where i associate romance with touch and am afraid i am too unempathetic to have a chance?#or (most likely) is it just because im so fucking scared of trusting someone that even the thought makes me nauseous#did this all crop up from a throwaway sex joke? yes#but people don't make sex jokes to me. people don't even pretend to allude to me being cute#this same group of people said a few weeks ago ''at least you're pretty''#which. is not the case!!!!!!! people do not say those things to me because they don't want to even slightly entertain that idea !!!!!!!#and i am extremely tired of having my life upended because of this#i have always been treated like i was ugly and teased about it and i FINALLY have managed to be okay with not being attractive#and now that im okay with it: NOW is when the pretty jokes start. im fucking angry about it actually#i can't be both. i cannot think of myself in terms that abstract. i am one or the other#and this leads me to believe that people think i COULD be pretty. but the catalyst is that i am fat and therefore cannot be attractive#which just makes me more angry!!!!!!!!!!!#how can i be completely indifferent to sex and attraction without seeming juvenile. i don't care so so much#but every time that sort of thing happens i feel like im 13 again and the hot jock is talking to me#i need to be put down. something's wrong with this one (me)#i realize i can't stop people from making sex or appearance jokes but god i wish i fucking could
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#still not over the insane george orwell post that got reblogged onto my dash yesterday#i unfollowed the person who reblogged it#because either A) theyre a tankie or B) their criticial thinking skills are sub-fucking-zero#like 1) the OP of that post was just copying Hakims awful video on Orwell#2) to read animal farm and come out of it with the interpretation that Orwell was saying that the animals and hence the proletariat in the#USSR were just innately unintelligent shows a reading comprehension so bad its not even like piss poor. its piss impoverished#3) if a post is like ''also look X said Y Bad Thing'' without providing any of the context as to where that quote comes from theyre likely#being deliberately mishonest. it is easy to take someone out if context to make it look like they were saying something they werent which is#exactly what the OP of that post was doing. they took one sentence of Orwells writing on the nazis and Hitler to make it look like Orwell#thought Hitler was a swell guy when actually Orwells writing was about the dangers of charismatic tyrants like Hitler and their rhetoric#the entire thing was about how Hitler was able to amass such power and popularity and use that to his advantage#not every despot is so easy to pick out as dangerous or so easy to detest. hitler was hardly the first charismatic tyrant in history#OP also conveniently left out the fact that like the next sentence is orwell being like yeah no i would fucking kill this man which wow#thats a glaring omission. imagine if people decided to look up what OP was refetencing to verify irs veracity#4) OP does not mention that Orwell fought in La Guerra Civil alongside communists and socialists and anarchists etc.#he fought against the nationalists. he took a bullet to the neck during the fight. he was very much against francisco franco and his fascist#regime who were allied with Hitler and the Nazis#mentioning orwells participation in the spanish civil war really undercuts any of those arguments#5) you know who was actually allied with Hitler and Nazi Germany? STALIN#at the beginning of WWII the soviet union and nazi germany were in alliance. stalin and hitler did not have fundamental ideological#differences. if hitler had not betrayed stalin the soviet union would not have joined the allied powers#your uwu anti-fascist communist idol joseph fucking stalin was joseph fucking stalin. he was a fascist dictator whose actions deliberately#caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. he like vladimir lenin before him did not care for the ideals of marx#marxism leninism is a meaningless political ideology#the soviet union was not a communist paradise. neither stalin not lenin cared about the proletariat#i said this in my tag ramble yesterday but if you want to see a leader who actually followed marxist ideals go look up thomas sankara#im just rambling in the tags today to get out the lingering frustration i have
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
di1f-enthusiast
♡dilf enthusiast♡
magdalenastudios
Magdalena Studios
nedasglobal
Nedas Global
venator-signum
live fast die clown bad girls do it well