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geminitarotmagick · 3 years

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Full Moon Pick a Card Reading, Blackpink Edition

On this rare form of Blue Moon, take a deep breath and choose one of these four piles. Each pile holds various messages that you need to hear at this time. But remember, this is a general reading, so take what resonates and discard whatever does not.

If you would like a personal reading from me, I open mini reading requests every Monday where I will answer your question with five cards. Please only ask one question per ask per week, and make sure to leave a name/nickname/initial by which to call you when leaving your reading request.

But if you'd like something more in depth, or have a more urgent question, I am also currently offering in depth personal readings. More info on how to request an in depth paid reading here.

With that said, choose the pile that calls to you, and find your messages under the cut.

Decks used: Therapets, Way of the Panda Tarot, Light Seers Tarot, Wild Unknown Animal Spirits, Shine From The Inside Oracle, Barbieri Zodiac Oracle, Oracle of the Fairies, The Deck (Custom Made Blackpink Oracle Deck)

PILE ONE:

There's some guilt that you're being called to let go of. There are situations in your past that have caused you to regret how you acted, whether it be that you didn't stand up for yourself or that you hurt someone with things that were said. These situations have been prominent in your mind recently, but it's important to understand the bigger picture here. You're called to reflect on these moments and discover what lesson you were supposed to be learning from those experiences. These things happened so that you could grow, not so that you could be stuck in guilt. Allow yourself to make peace with these situations or people in whatever way that means to you, absorb the lesson, and then release the experience.

You're being called to be kind to yourself, and be patient as life changes and evolves around you. You have strong values, and it's important to stand firm in those while also staying true to yourself and staying grounded. When you're grounded and in tune with yourself, you can move mountains, so it's important for you to really allow yourself to find that center where you can return to when things get hard. It will be much easier for you to do this when you've released the guilt and negativity that is blocking you from achieving this state of mind. Whatever situations cause you stress and anxiety when you think about them, it's time to let go of them.

Now is a good time for you to work towards setting boundaries with the people around you as well. This isn't meant to push people away from you, but it is important to establish to those around you what is ok and not ok, and for you to love yourself enough to set these limits with people. There is insecurities that you have, but remember that most people do in fact want you to let them know when things aren't ok, and the people who care about you will appreciate you doing this. Without these boundaries in place, you're kept in a place of stagnation that doesn't allow you to grow, so please realize how integral setting these boundaries really is to your growth and wellbeing.

The fear of change is normal, but it won't prevent things from shifting, so learning to embrace it is key. This stems from that patience with yourself, but it also comes from allowing yourself to live in the now and let go of the anxiety about what "could be". It's important to be honest with yourself about what is holding you back and holding you in patterns that aren't serving you. This is a great time to start working on building your self confidence and self love, but this can only be achieved after you take a hard look at yourself and honestly assess what things are helping you and what things are hindering you.

One thing that will really help you to grow with this is to celebrate your own victories. No matter how small or large they are, progress is progress, and you deserve to feel accomplished for evolving and making positive changes. Also be open to the signs around you that you're on the right track. Sometimes these signs will be big. Sometimes they'll be subtle. But know that they're always there, and they're always ready to encourage you and cheer you on.

Focus your energy on breaking free of these things holding you back, and making tough decisions. To do this, you might need to step out of your comfort zone by taking risks and doing things you consider scary, but it'll pay off. It's also important to focus on understanding not only yourself, but others, and to not let harsh emotions like anger cloud your judgment.

Lastly, your Therapets card (top middle) is provided as a source of encouragement for you. The truth is, you're far more capable than you feel.

Cards Pulled: Reverse Four of Cups, Reverse Strength, Fire, Air, Celebration, Nature's Signs, Elk, Reverse Death, Reverse Queen of Wands, Hope Not, Tune Into Your Inner Peace, "The truth is, you're far more capable than you feel."

PILE TWO:

You're being called to evaluate the situations you're in and the people you're surrounding yourself with, and to walk away from the people and situations that are no longer serving you. You have so much worth that you don't even realize because these things are weighing you down and blocking you from even realizing it. It might hurt at the moment to remove yourself from these things and people, but there are so many better things on the horizon for you, so long as you clear your energy to allow it to flow to you.

You've allowed yourself to be swayed by others opinions of you, and in doing so have allowed your own desires to be ignored. It's time for you to take your power back, and focus again on what it is that you want out of your life. It's also important to surround yourself with positive friends, and people who will encourage you following your dreams and doing things that make you happy. Take the time to focus on yourself and your own self care, and remember that it doesn't make you selfish to think about yourself. With these new friends, make sure to balance between giving to them and not burning yourself out so that this can be a more positive experience for both of you, and commit to keeping it that way.

This is a wonderful time to break out of the auto pilot mode you've put yourself into, and to put an end to that cycle. To put an end to that though, you need to be able to deal with past traumas you've been through in your life and make peace with them. This won't be easy to do, but it's necessary work to be able to move forward positively. You'll see so many blessings coming into your life when you choose to do the inner work and choose joy in the future. Make sure to have gratitude for all the things that come your way as well, as showing gratitude will make way for more positivity to continue to flow in. Let go of the past, allow yourself to trust the people in your present, set your boundaries, and allow all of that to bring to you situations that are more positive and divine.

There might even be desires of yours that you've kept hidden for so long that you don't even remember that you wanted it. Allow yourself to tap back into these desires that have remained hidden, and know that you can achieve them if you truly set your mind to it. You might not be perfect at it on the first try, but that's ok. As long as you go into it with an open mind and pure intentions, things will work out for your highest good. and work out the way they're supposed to. This is a great time for you to set goals and think about the things you want to accomplish, and allow your emotions to guide you towards setting goals that align with your dreams. Also allow yourself to listen to your intuition and that inner voice in your head. If you're drawn towards something, and it won't cause you any harm, then go for it.

Lastly, your Therapets card (top middle) is provided as a source of encouragement for you. You're not going to succeed at everything you do, and that's okay.

Cards pulled: Reverse Knight of Pentacles, Ten of Swords, Saturn, Moon, Lost and Found, Pure Intentions, Starfish, Nine of Cups, Reverse Nine of Wands, See U Later, Commit to Self Care Rituals, "You're not going to succeed at everything you try, and that's okay."

PILE THREE:

It's so important for you to remember that you don't need to have everything figured out all the time. Life isn't as serious as you're making it out to be right now, and you're just causing yourself unnecessary stress. Allow yourself to actually live life, not just worry about life. Your past is holding you down right now. It's important for you to do some inner child work so that you can rise from the ashes of your past and move forward. This is a great time to let go of the baggage that's weighing you down, and let yourself move forward feeling lighter.

It's time for you to let go of these burdens, and allow yourself to rest and relax. This is a time for deep healing, if you allow yourself to do the work and feel the feelings. Doing that will help you to get realigned with yourself and find the emotional release that you've been needing.

You're confined to your comfort zone right now, but growth exists outside of it. So push yourself to try new things, have new experiences and think new thoughts. It's okay to start small, but remember you can't grow if you stay in the same place, so keep moving forward and keep pushing yourself.

You might be called to help others during this time as well, and you might find healing though helping others to find their healing. It'll help you to find your own self worth and remember just how special you are as well. You're not paying attention to your inner voice right now, and it's time to listen to it and think about what it is that you want, and allow your intuition to guide you.

Be receptive to the world around you, and allow it to inspire you to heal. There is hope on the horizon for you. You just need to allow it to find its way to you. Find the bright side of your situation, and hold onto that glimmer of light, and allow it to grow into a bigger and bigger light. You have the ability to change a negative situation into a positive one if you hold onto the light.

Allow yourself to feel the joy that feels most authentic to you. It's important to focus on what feels most authentic to yourself, but be patient with yourself as you do this. Keep the hope and the faith that you will find yourself, even if it takes more time than you'd initially like for it to.

Lastly, your Therapets card (top middle) is provided as a source of encouragement for you. You are going to get through this just fine.

Cards pulled: The Star, Eight of Cups, Jupiter, Sagittarius, Inspiration, Hope, Phoenix, Four of Pentacles, Reverse High Priestess, Forever Young, Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Try Something New, "You are going to get through this just fine."

PILE FOUR:

This is a very successful time for you, so remember to celebrate your wins. It doesn't matter how big or small they are. Allow yourself to revel in the feelings of success or satisfaction, because acknowledging those feelings will allow more of it to flow to you.

You might be finding yourself at a crossroads in life, and you might be trying to rationalize which path you should take. Drown out all the noise, and allow your intuition to guide you. If you really take the time to stop and listen, you'll find that you know what choice you should make already. Don't judge yourself for being unsure tho, and don't judge yourself for wanting to make a decision that others might not consider to be the "right" one. Those people are not you. You have to do what's right for you, and show yourself love and patience for having the courage to make that choice. Others opinions of what you choose to do does not matter.

You're a very caring person, and you wear your heart on your sleeve sometimes, and there's no shame in that. Allow that to be a strength and not a weakness, and let that propel you into manifesting the things you desire. You're moving towards even more success, so don't doubt yourself.

This is a time for creativity for you, so allow those ideas to flow through you and to you. You'll be opened up to new paths and new relationships with this, so allow the abundance to flow to you, and allow yourself to take this path with empathy, both towards yourself and towards the people who come into your life. Don't allow yourself to get overwhelmed and get cold. Your heart is your greatest asset. Allow it to stay open, despite what might happen.

Use nature to help you find your center during this time, and use it as a way to find peace when things get stressful. There's a lot of positive change coming to your life. Don't fear it. Embrace it, and embrace all of your wonderful manifestations. But if you find yourself feeling out of balance, allow yourself to take a walk or take a break in nature to help yourself get grounded again.

This is a great time to work on what you consider your own personal freedom. Big change is coming to you, and you're allowed to change as a person as well. Allow your self confidence to build as these changes come your way, and assess what things feel right to you as things shift. Once again, it's important to be patient with yourself, but it's also important to remember that you do have control of some things. Issues surrounding your personal identity and how you express yourself might come up during this time, so allow yourself to work through that and to give yourself the time you need to find what's right for you and to heal what isn't.

Lastly, your Therapets card (top middle) is provided as a source of encouragement for you. You're not going to succeed at everything you do, and that's okay.

Cards pulled: Knight of Cups, Eight of Wands, Sun, Uranus, Manifestation, Go Outside, Tarantula, The Empress, Ace of Cups, How You Like That, Stop Judging and Start Loving, "You need to give yourself time to heal, no matter how long that ends up being."

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everythingthemoontouches · 3 years

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Hiii Jahn!🌙 I’m just a new follower. I discovered you while searching for D9 asks. I was amazed by your in-depth explanation on each placements. 🤍 I’d like to send in my D1 & D9 charts also for future spouse reading to understand more about it.Thank you so much!!🤍 Please take your time. I’ll patiently wait. 💕 Hoping you’ll have a lovely day/night! 🌹

Hello there

This, my love has been a longtime coming. First off I'm gonna introduce you to an intuitive read and then present it in a more formal, bulleted manner. You seem to ha e chosen quite a challenging path in this lifetime. Props to you for bravery. And a hug + some tea to help you brave it 💕 your life could be a beautiful movie on love, healing, growth, spirituality and personal power.

Future BAE seems to be stable, practical reliable with service being his love language. He is down to grow together, and help you walk in your power.

Taurus rising.

Scorpio 7th house. + Pluto + moon.

Wow. Lots of shadow work involved when it comes to close personal relationships. You need to turn that critical eye inwards.

Untill you work at managing or integrating your inner child issues, any partners you end up with will continue to trigger you. At its best, this is someone who helps you work through your feelings. Breakdown. Confront reality. Breakdown and rebuild yourself stringer than ever. A hades and persephone kind of love. Lots of sexual allure. Strength, protectiveness, passion, push and pull, makeup sex? Specially since the ruler of the 7th house (Mars) is in the 5th house. You're not the kinda person who'd be happy to marry just for stability. Passion and mutual attraction, love is a must.

Mars and rahu. Service. Over exerting for those you love. Days spent in bed. Service kink. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets.

You're definitely attracted to people who help you better your place in the world. They have to have a little bit of ' I wanna do good / change the world in them'. A friendly leader kinda figure. Disciplined.

Your darakarka Mars is retrograde. Controlling. Dominant. Future BAE is definitely gonna overthink themselves into a worry when it comes to dating and wooing. Or they could think that only their way is the right / best way to do soemthing. Poor lil baby( I say baby, but as a Virgo Mars they're probably the person who takes charge, plans, overanalyzes things has a set way of doing things.) this could be someone who is an advocate for universal free education, teaches children for free or some such. Could second guess themselves when it comes to taking action.

Mars Rahu conjunction: sub kink. They'd want a lot of adulation. Could be from a different culture from you or have studied in a very different environment.

I think your fs gets better at dealing with overthinking after you guys tie the knot. They learn to be more at peace with themself, letting their intuition guide them instead of focusing too hard on trying to do the logical thing. Okay with being messy. May like to act and arrange things behind the scenes. Imagine coming home tired to find that they've already called the restaurant, arranged for your favorite food to be dropped off, warmed, alid out on the table. Gives me the vibes of a puppeteer(katputli - a rajasthani folk dance)pulling the strings. You can't see them, but the show goes on.

From being ficusssed on accumulating wealth your focus goes towards doing things that boost your sense of Self confidence. You could also grow more tactful as you learnt to seek out harmony. You probably become more direct and assertive as a result the peopep you attract are more easy going / Libra like.

I'm seeing a house for a wedding present? Or moving into your spouse's ancestral home. They could also come from a matrilineal lineage.

Your household could be supported by one or both of you working in tax, insurance, financial industries. There could also be soemthing related to life insurance.

Pluto and Saturn in the 7th is a tad concerning. There's a very heavy sense of some kind of karmic duty. Saturn is exalted in Libra.

Way too controlling. Narcissism. Moon Mars mother. Karmic ties. Moon 8th house.

U must learn to stand up for yourself.

If you're meant to have any babies in this lifetime, they'd probably visit you in a dream or a psychic trance before they come down to earth. Call it mothers intuition. This is just a gut feeling wrt your moon in 8th house in Scorpio in the D9. I say this because the moon rules the 4th house of home, and children are an important part of the house if you're a mom. The 4th house is also the home/ heartland what you'd protect.

You suppress your emotions. Emerges as a volcano. But a cold one. U turn to ice and grow aloof.

Out of body experiences

You need to learn to be more dominant and combative. I'd suggest watching the teal Swans video on creating a zero sum game in relationships. Strengthened by Aries ascendant in d 9. This life u gotta learn to fight for yourself, and not sit quietly because people attacked u or kept u under their thumb when u were younger by a strict dad.

OK, now let's look at the placements and aspects

D1 lagna (ascendant) VS D9 lagna

You go from comfort stability minded to taking more risks and initiative. Self Confidence increases. Assert your needs better.

Vargottama Moon

The moon is quite dominant as it does not change signs between d1 and D9. You're super cooperative and hate to disappoint people. I'd suggest reading up more on Anuradha Nakshatra.

Moon - Pluto - 7th house

Could indicate karmic ties or past life connections to FS. You work through a lot of your own inner insecurities, self doubt, lack mindset related issues in close romantic relationships. There could be some mother wound related issues. You can only love as deeply as you allow yourself to love yourself. In order to attract people who inspire positive growth in you, you must first sit with your shadow, examine why people trigger you, and make peace with yourself or, perhaps your mom?

Mars Rahu - sextile moon

Mars and Rahu are both impulsive action oriented Planets. Them sextile your Pluto and moon could lead you to feel quite triggered and attacked by the slightest hint of advice or suggestion from someone else. Sex with the wrong people can really mess with you. In a better manifestation good sex has you feeling liek you can change the world and also that you're super safe and secure.

Venus combust - 10th house

You need to feel appreciated for your uniqueness. Ego battles could arise and get in the way of finding, expressing love.

Saturn- Ketu Pisces

The ruler of your 7th Nakshatra this is someone who loses themself to community service, could do too much for the wrong cause. Money could come in from fish farming. Seduments or other aquatic culture.

Anuradha 7th house

This is a Nakshatra that focuses on achieving success by working with a group. Your fs is collaborative and good at managing people. Someone who shares success. And is hence likely to go far ahead in life. Major success may come later in life.

Mars 7th house

Expect healthy amount of frank, direct communication. Some arguments with FS. But there's also protectiveness, concern, and the will to do the best by someone. Mars and moon aspects indicate a healthy sex life. They're probably enamored by you. You in turn would find them super sexy.

7th Nakshatra lord and Ketu

Your fs and relation with FS is a highly spiritual one. You could both be looking for a soulful connection. There is love, there us duty there is a need to help each other value time, focus on the future. They could have been a strict disciplinarian figure Ina past life. You both probably have a knack to look down at your phone just in time tos ee an email / message alert from them? Perhaps you two run or help/volunteer at an institution for the mentally challenged.

7th house relation to pieces

OK, so this is where we have a lot going on. Mars opposes saturn. And is placed with Rahu. Mars here feels restrained. Your fs could feel blocked in their creative gifts. In the sense that all they want to do is focus on it, create, post, gain fame but saturn and Ketu try to restrict their creative time. They could be perfectionists. Having to redo things. Since Rahu is also in virgo there's a focus on creating things with the hands and fine tuning every single detail. Directed towards you, this is someone who is always encouraging you while trying to micromanage a lot of details because they think they're being helpful. This is sosmrhtinf you two could have in common so

Mars Darakarka: they teach u to fight for you. Opinionated. Honest. Perfectionist. Service before self. Hardworking. Have integrity. Very active mind.

Mars conjunct Rahu-venus D9 creativity

The 5th house rules creativity and with your venus in the 9th house in D9 your fs is someone who encourages u to be more creative and follow or take up a course to be better at your hobbies. It's like full creative freedom to be you and do you.

D9 Exalted Saturn

Justice. Duty. Not very affectionate but they make sure you have everything you need. Balanced approach. Someone thoughtful. They're fair in a fight.

Libra, venus ruled 7th house

Beauty, peace and harmony in thr relationship. You're not gonna feel like you're being taken for grated. They will treat you to nice things and probably have a schedule for dates and other such romantic leisure activities.

Jupiter rules 9th, in 2nd house

Philosophy. Art. Culture. Museums. Travel coudk be a key focus in your married life. This is something you two bond over. Could also strike God fortune when u do travel or go on pilgrimages. Luck and money via foreign sources.

Rahu in aquarius

Social media influence or you get better at making friends just make sure that they're not provoking you into taking uncalcukated risks or actions that are wya too bizarre. Could denote some kind of breakthrough with technology, a love for a high end gadget driven spaces. An interest in Photography. Any couples pictures posts would be well received. Like you're the couple that looks exotic in their photos. Radiant. Aloof, intellectual, stimulating and even more appealing together.

Jupiter Taurus in 2nd house of D9

Debilitated Jupiter 9th house- religious issues - venus 9th house - conversion?

You may have struggled with religious ideologies being forced on you, or the one you were born into didn't quite feel right. Your fs may follow a different religion or show you that being religious does not mean you feel bad about some of your lifestyle choices.

Pisces Mars d9: he is either tactful and charming or a bit manipulative. You may feel like you prefer to act behind the scenes. It may be a little hard to be recognized for the things you do untill you get really really angry.

D9 Cancer 4th house: the home is a serious source of pride. Beautiful interiors and you'd be quite guarded about who you invite over. The best meals. Soothing interiors.

Pilgrimage within the 1st year of becoming a mom ( Jupiter's aspect on the 9th house)

Venus in Sagittarius D9: future BAE is gonna love his freedom. He could be a workaholic.

Alrighty, that's all I've got today. I hope this helps. I wish you the best on your healing and integration journey

#Shadow work #Mars saturn Pluto 7th house #Future spouse astrology #Future spouse reading #D1 and D9 analysis #Navamsa analysis

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sighingsiren-tales · 5 years

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ZODIAC MEN

So, I haven’t really said it much here but I have been healing from something terrible and this was my way of healing. I love astrology and this is something that I may start permanently in addition to the fan fiction I write here. I hope you enjoy it~Kae

*Note, this is from the perspective of a Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Mercury, Virgo Venus and Rising and Scorpio Mars. (I’m a female)

ARIES

❌My middle school boyfriend. Ha, you still hit me up and tell me i look cute and how we’re gonna have kids from time to time, maybe even flirt with me here and there. can’t say i don’t like it the attention but that ship sailed long ago. Funny, a definite goofball, popular after his insecurity phase was over.

❌one of the first guys i fucked in college. lol you were fun, fun as hell. you were always easy going, funny and matched my energy relatively well but you were most definitely a fuckboy (sorry) you just liked pussy and women too much for us to ever work, assuming you even wanted us to work. You still tried to hit on me when i had a boyfriend (who was your roommate) and when you had a girlfriend. Bold as hell and he was h u g e.

❌ah, one of the few of your kind that I actually like on campus. loud personality but actually very timid. always asks me how to seduce people and tells me that I get what i want relatively easy. a ball of insecurities and emotion. learn your value king and get over that.

TAURUS

❌over emotional man child lmao sorry. you want someone to be your mother and hold your hand and i can honestly say no one has hurt me like you have. too self absorbed, needs reassurance, can’t be himself. drinks and smokes too much. navy dude.

❌one of my self proclaimed brothers. he’s a bit of a hard ass and a commitmentphobe but he has a big heart and truly acts like a second dad haha. i love him as a friend. caring, soft, funny, protective asf (especially of me), won’t let me walk back to my dorm alone.

❌my little brother. a pain in my ass. acts tough and hard, uses a lot of slang. needs attention and reassurance often. loves hard but can be annoying. told me he cared about me when i ran away. needs a healthier way to show his emotions. we butt heads a lot as kids. stubborn as hell. love you though kid

❌ahh, this one (he’s a cusp kid, 4/20 hehe blaze it). honestly a super hero. so caring and sweet but also kinky and your handprint is kinda still on my ass. i had a crush on you before you did. honest, respectful, loveeessssss his mom, has a lot of female friends (which makes me a bit jealous). anime buddy. patient, protective, a bit of a temper (it’s kinda hot), the best kind of man. can get me to open up but strengthen me at the same time?? my superman, the only man i don’t mind being vulnerable to. reminds me of an anime character. a warrior with a heart of g

GEMINI

❌fun while it lasted and i’m pretty sure i was your flavor of the month and you were mine as well. you were funny, and meshed with my energy well. didn’t last long in bed tho😬 your laugh was contagious. really good dancer. can’t hold a relationship for your LIFE. not good with emotions, a free spirit. kinda wishy washy. didn’t like it when i avoided hanging out.

❌quiet, had an intimidating presence. everyone thought you were scary but you were funny, logical and very headstrong. strong silent type. always opened up with me but no one else. has a “lone wolf mentality” strongest man i know. made me happy with who i am, gave the best advice. unmovable, easy going. the one i stay with at all family functions. a big chunk of my heart. love you big bro.

CANCER

❌absolute trash lmao. always attracted drama and stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. ultimate instigator. i think you just need a diary and a xanax. everyone said you tried to break up me and my (then) boyfriend?? cute but annoying. an acquired taste (and that’s me being nice)

❌my little baby brother. the sweetest thing upon planet earth. always asks me if i’m okay, comes to me when he’s sad and cried when i told him i was leaving for college. tells me he loves my hair and nails and always protects his big sis. always excited to see me. so smart, a damn genius actually. amazing with technology. i love you so much little man.

LEO

❌ahh my first love. so caring, tender, sweet but had too many scars and wounds for us to heal together. we made so many mistakes with one another but you were always trying to be my own personal naruto and, for a while, you were. and for those few months you were my everything. kept me going when i wanted to die. kissed my scars all the time. always bought me food. loved to spoil me. had a temper and hid his emotions. put everyone before himself too much. things ended bad and our egos clashed. i hurt you. i’m sorry. the last words we said to each other were good bye and i love you.

❌someone at college who wants to fuck me lmao. always hugs me really tight, stares me down in a way where i know he’s undressing me mentally. says love is bullshit but wants a happy ending and i know it. also also, you’re not fucking me lmao.

VIRGO

❌my summertime coworker. a party animal, mentally resilient and smart as all hell. we fooled around once lmao but it never got far. funny as fuck. never spoke about what he had going on but i know he was hurting. a perfectionist, a scammer.

❌sweet in a weird kinda of way. always asks if i’m okay. always asks if i need something, always willing to help. trusts me to make my own decisions and encourages me to think for myself and watch my back. hard working, quiet with bit of a hardshell. never lets anything dictate who he is. love you uncle.

LIBRA

❌my distant friends ex; wishy washy. not very good with commitment. really cute room and good fashion sense. pretty lips; respectful and honest fuck boy. made a move on me once after a party once. pops in and out of my life.

❌invited me to a gala once. loved the attention of having me on my arm. hated my ex. smoked weed a lot, easy going and soft spoken. never got angry, went along with anything. probably in jail or in some legal trouble right now.

SCORPIO

❌you wanna fuck me. lol i know you do and you’ve made it clear as the only thing you want me for. came up to my room and tried to barge in after i told you not to. kinda creepy. quiet. doesn’t say much. always seemingly where i am. in my same major, soooo tall, soft spoke voice.

❌oh boy. obsessive. possessive, jealous. we were good friends. then you fell in love with me. i didn’t think of you that way. you told me it was okay and then began to blow up my phone with messages, text my friends to ask where i was and blow up on me when i said we needed space and cursed me out. safe to say we don’t talk anymore. when i blocked you, you emailed me an apology and asked my friend to tell me you’re sorry and give me your letter. overthinks a lot. always needs to be in the know and/or control. consuming. reallll timid and unconfident. weed addict. total beta male.

❌you’re sexy. i’ll give you that. and you’re smart. you pop and out of my life. easy going. sweet. quiet, distant and a little annoying with your wishy washyness. i took your virginity 😬 lmao yikes. always around a group of females. nice hair, always played in mine. really funny and the times where you matched my energy it was magic.

SAGITTARIUS

❌lol uh i knew you in high school. went to harvard. super super attractive, very competitive and very funny. had a pretty chill vibe. i wanted to kiss you. had perfect teeth, the valedictorian of the class before me.

❌a hardass, lol. sees things like they’re black and white. has a funny side, hilariousssss but in a mean kind of way. doesn’t show much emotions but you know he cares. blunt. caring in his own way. took me to get my first tattoo. affectionate in a awkward pat back type of way. when he sees me sad, he helps best he can although that’s not always in the best of ways. helped me get through my grammy’s death. my dad.

CAPRICORN

❌ah the fwb that turned into my boyfriend. we should’ve never happened. i care for you but a relationship was a bad idea. we started based off sex. was fucking a lot of girls when when with me (9 of them lmao yikes 😬) aloof, funny, dorky, another anime buddy. thinks he knows everything, thinks he’s a god (literally), an emotional baby when it comes down to it. made me his reason and told me he loved me. i regret telling you i loved you too. gas s god complex and wants things to come to him with minimal effort.

❌ahh, you always had a thing for me. you and everyone else told me. held my umbrella for me while we walked in the rain. told me i was perfect, always promised that you’d marry me. pop in my life from time to time. down with anything.

AQUARIUS

❌ ahhh the forbidden fruit. distant, friendly, charming, a liar. very sexual, always complimented me and once told me he loved me(yikes). really cute, made me feel special, has been trying to get me for yrs. not sure if it’s just sex or if it’s more but not giving myself the chance to be hurt and find out. sometimes i wonder what we could’ve been but the drama attached to your back makes me think otherwise. i still think of you from time to time. great kisser.

PISCES

❌my self proclaimed older brother. really knowledgeable, wise, sweet, loves his girlfriend with all his heart. encourages me to open up. supports me the best way i need, not always want lol. funny, a meme lord, hilarious in a subtle way. knows he’s that bitch. has almost all female friends but still retains his masculinity perfectly stronger than he lets on. an absolute blessing. helped me learn to love who i was and to be open to living others.

❌a wanna be gangster. lmao wants to fuck me but not happening. a big ball of unsorted through emotions. needs to get over his toxic masculinity but soft, caring. a big ass baby. unfaithful and childish. needs to learn his self worth within himself. daddy issues.

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gg-astrology · 5 years

Note

Hey there! Really love your blog and how you spare your time to cheer others up and let them get an insight into themselves, that's really kind of you! If it's not a bother, could you possibly do a Cancer Sun/Leo Moon placement? I would really appreciate your insight :)

Aaahh thank u so much!!! ☀️☀️☀️ I just ;; I’m glad you appreciate and like the posts/blogs and the things i do ☀️☀️ These are just my stress-relief, what I do when I want to relax and maybe spread a lil bit of positivity while i’m at it ☀️☀️ You are definitely not a bother!! ☀️☀️ Sorry it took me so long to get to yours but here we go! ☀️

[Below Cut: Cancer Sun - Leo Moon ☀️]

The Light Of My Life ☀️

These people are godsend bc they combine caution, astute balanced and nurturing nature of Cancer---along with the vitality, freshness and optimism of Leo ☀️

It makes for someone who would probably risk themselves for others, but in a way they’re normally cautious/wouldn’t think they have the guts to

Whenever it is impulsive, they are directly much more nurturing/caring bc they are....just....that (Cancer provides and Leo reassures/helps/heal)

Can be kinda Extra ™️ but often in private/people they know will enjoy and feel happy to see them like that

Often very caring individuals who does much more than ppl say they do, they just want to hold...or be held...and like, just like take care/be taken care of sometimes y know (depends on their moods and who they trust)

These people won’t hesitate to protect you. Especially if you are hurt (emotionally) they feel things very empathetically (Cancer is receptive to other people’s emotions, especially when it’s heightened) and Leo is-- just gung-ho and huffy about it ‘not being right’

Will not hesitate to chew others out or give them a peace of their mind, very protective of their Youngs (friends/families/babies)

softies...or otherwise, you are emotional softies but you are also Much Tougher Than You Appear To Be

Cancer/Leo gains strength from their own vulnerabilities, understanding themselves help with better improvement, and also help nurture/really just heal everyone else around them (afterwards) as well

These placements allows them to gain inner-strength from themselves, their own experience/feelings/hardship and utilize that into becoming part of their vitality, their recovery/healing and strength in helping those around them.

It’s kinda like....it has to be sincere y know? So the part most touching, personal or vulnerable to them. That’s where their strength comes from, where they exhibit the most flexible aspect about themselves. And where they can nurture/grow from.

So it’s in their vulnerability, their most sensitive spot. Parts where they are hurt (through experience) with someone or something--where their Cancer/Leo actually got like, personally pained. That they had to take some time to themselves to heal/grow from it.

That’s where they’re the most progressive, most growing. That’s where they can use the power of their hurt, into actually achieving nobility and helping others afterwards.

But these people are also--- afraid to get hurt y know? Especially intimately, if they let something get to them or let someone in. What would happen? What would they do?? They’d be DEVASTATED if it doesn’t turn out in a way that they want, because their immediate happiness, immediate stability would be compromised too.

Like the sun-- the power someone else’s hold over them emotionally/intimately can make their sun/happiness/stability sink y know? Below the surface, and they’re afraid that their emotional unavailability for the time (while they recover) is going to make other people obsessed with nit-picking them, taking care of them fussing over them

When they just want to be alone and recover for a while, they need time to process. And they don’t want other people to like-- be worried about them like that or have to baby them like they’re useless or something

So so considerate :((( of others, all the time. until it becomes like, their sole motivation for NOT making them get hurt so others don’t have to be worried for them/take care of them “unnecessarily” like that

Babies....you yourself deserved to experience, grow and put yourself first sometimes. Your own personal development/self-importance is very essential to how you can help others. Even if you don’t like the process/method, you still need to do it in order to grow.

Cancer/Leos can have a hard time pushing the boundaries of their comfortable with as well, especially when it comes to like--- their methods y know? They like it to be predictable, something tried and true and they have used to before. Learning how to do/grow/heal in any other ways that requires a shift in thinking/doing-- adaptability/flexibility/changeability is alarming to them. And they’ll immediately dig their feet in and shake their heads no.

To them, emotional control is important, and feeling stabilized/alright is very important as well. If it has to compromise that, then they’d rather not do it/walk away from it completely. You can’t urge/passive-aggressive lure them into doing it. Their inner comfort/value is worth more than you can goad them into doing it.

Self-confidence, Cancer/Leo knows themselves better than anyone and they know/feel it within themselves (intuitively) what they are ready/not ready for. You can’t convince them otherwise, bc who are you to tell them how much they feel or how little they are?

These people aren’t afraid to be thoughtful, kind and nurturing to others mostly bc of this self-confidence they have. They are secure, sure of themselves and their own emotions/feelings. And thus allows them to be both protective and caring at the same time (switching between them, or doing both bc thats?? just how they flex against insecure emotionally obtuse idiots??)

(Also low-key Leo’s bravery really helps Cancer feel more self-confident in itself, and Cancer’s imaginative/creative drive really gives Leo the sensitivity it needs-- these are really good combos!)

I hope this is good ;; ☀️☀️ I hope you enjoyed this!! ☀️☀️ Thanks for asking ☀️☀️

#cancer sun #leo moon #cancer-leo #cancer #leo #anon #asks

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lady-nevermore · 7 years

Text

Tagged by: @kibitoshinkai

A - Age: 25 going on 26

B - Biggest fear: Loss/Losing a loved one, The possibility of Nothingness after Death aka the thought of my consciousness just dissipating into nothingness/losing all sense of self after death really scares the crap outta me on a hyperventilating/panic attack kinda level, Heights/Falling, Drowning, Bugs/Insects/Arachnids, Oh, and let’s not forget about Sleep Paralysis, that can be a real bitch too (haven’t had one of those in a really really really long-ass while, welp here’s hoping I didn’t just fucking jinx myself *sigh*). -___-;

C - Current time: 10:25 PM

D - Drink you last had: Vanilla Chai Tea

E - Every day starts with: Waking up perplexed and trying to contemplate what little I can remember of my fleeting dreams, before they slip outta my grasp completely.

F - Favorite song: Tbh, just like with books, films and anime/tv-series, I’m fond of a lot of different varieties of genres of music, and can never really just stick with one sole fave song (from punk-rock, soft rock, indie rock, jazz, hip-hop, r&b, pop, electronic, etc); So for now let’s just say that I’m really digging J-pop/J-rock, RWBY/RvB ost, YYH ost, a mix of several Anime opening/ending themes, 80′s/90′s rock/pop songs, Green Day, etc. ^^;

G - Ghosts, are they real?: Heh, If someone had asked me this years ago, my stubborn smart-ass teenage self would have scoffed and probably would have disputed against this to no end, convinced of the illogicalness of it all. But surprisingly enough, coming from a semi non-religious/agnostic person like myself…..I gotta say: Yes on this one. And I say this for Three reasons.

The first being, that deep deep down, the mere thought of my consciousness just dissipating into nothingness after death, and losing all sense of self just really really makes me uneasy and overall just really scares the living-shit out of me, on an almost hyperventilating panic-attack kind of level.

For another, when I was but a mere youngling (around 7-12), we lived in a “supposedly haunted house” (let’s just say that I remember there were times when things def. felt really really off, uneasy, and just plain eerie, the chills down my spine didn’t help either). Who knows maybe growing up with YYH subconsciously helped me not be so damn freaked out about it all, and helped me handle the possibility of it with a bit of grace. lol xD

The last reason, a real personal and selfish one at that, is that deep down, a part of me really wouldn’t mind if the idea of an “afterlife” did hold some real truth to it, mostly cause the thought of meeting up with an old friend of mine that has long since passed from this world, is a rather comforting thought.

H - Hometown: Back in the day, as a teenager, my friends and classmates would often exaggeratingly refer to it being just: (plain-ass boring), but in reality it was nothing more than a small, quaint, peaceful little town called: Fairfield.

I - In love with: I’ve always been in love with the art and craft of storytelling; just any and every amazingly well-written / crafted fantastical stories of fiction, in any form of media, whether it be via the written word/books, through anime/web series, TV series, films/movies, videogames, etc. Speaking of which, besides RWBY, I’ve gone and spiraled right back into being in awe of Yu Yu Hakusho, and just how amazing Togashi is at his craft. ^_^

J - Jealous of: Nowadays, nothing really.

Though the few times I’ve actually felt real envy, were a couple of times as a child …..And the main reason for that was due to the fact that I didn’t have the best childhood, let’s just say that emotional abusement, and domestic house fights all thanks to my super religious Catholic, and overall a pitifully poor excuse of an Aunt who was living with us at the time, obviously didn’t leave me entirely unscathed (hence why I have anxiety problems as well as trust issues, why I used to sometimes have a sorta hard time with religion, struggle with the concept of having faith. But yeah, I guess I’ve sorta made my peace with it all……But back to the matter at hand, that’s why, as a kid, I envied those, whom I presumed must of had a nice, stable and so-called “normal” childhood.

….Yup, though that was indeed a particularly dim time in my life, I’m just glad that Yu Yu Hakusho helped get me through most of that shit, which was nice, well that and the possibility that our old-house was “supposedly haunted” (so yeah, I could sorta relate to Yusuke on some of these levels, which at the time helped me to feel less alone and less of a misfit than I thought I previously was, especially in regards to not having the best or normal living situation, nor the best childhood, and that a team/group of friends was also a real possibility of the word “family”, it’s why I don’t take betrayal lightly and why I value the concept of friendship / loyalty / camaraderie so damn highly, it helped to fill a much needed void). ^^;

The other time I felt a twinge of jealousy were a couple of times during my pre-teens/teenage years (mostly for stupid silly little reasons), like feeling a bit insecure about my place in certain friendships, but being reassured later on that I wasn’t being replaced, or overlooked. (like I said it was stupid). ^^;

N - Number of siblings: None, I am an only child.

O - One wish: I wish could have gone about things a little bit differently in the past….. So many things that were left unsaid, things I didn’t realize back then that I had taken for granted or should have appreciated more.

Oh, and let’s not forget the stupid, silly, face-palming moments I had as an adolescent that still haunt me/make me slightly cringe from embarrassment to this day; some I’m willing to accept and can even look fondly back on …..but, there are a few stupid moments (things I’ve said that had slightly hurt others) were I wish I could just go back in time and slap myself upside the head for, or at least take back and erase all together). -__-;

But in all seriousness, there is one thing I really wish for. Remember that old friend of mine that I mentioned a while back in this post…..well, it’s been about 8 years give or take since they passed away from cancer, I was 19 when it happened, and I know I’ve made my peace with that ages ago, but there are still times I really wish I hadn’t taken those moments with my friend for granted; looking back I really wish I had taken the time to really appreciate it all a lot more.

My old friend was the type of person who said they considered themselves as “obnoxious” (which always left me rather perplexed and made me raise an eyebrow skeptically at them in response; I never once considered them as obnoxious, I mean stubborn sure, optimistic and always trying to look for the good in any situation as well as an incredibly kind and gentle soul, for damn sure, quick-witted, wise, with a brilliant mind when it came to arithmetic and science most definitely (something I really respected, admired and even left me a little in awe with how natural and easily these two subjects came for them, considering I can’t even solve a sudoku puzzle to save my life, that’s how bad me and math don’t mix lol), was incredibly open-minded (a trait I always had but later became even more reinforced and ingrained into my psyche in thanks to them) even though they were religiously devoted and faithful to a tee (something I still struggle with from time to time but have long since their passing, semi changed my perspective on), something which used to cause us to butt heads here and there, was a massive Star Wars, Lord of Rings / Tolkien, and Firefly fan, was real fond of the color green and Tigger from Winnie the Pooh (hence their fave TTFN aka Ta Ta For Now farewell they’d give), was the type to give the best out of the blue bear-hugs, was someone whom like myself really loved the rain (used to say that they considered it quite cleansing to the soul) was the person who first introduced me to the wonders of Tea, was a bright light in my life that helped healed the scars and broken remnants that remained from my really messed childhood, was someone I greatly admired as well as respected, and was maybe even a little more of a playful dork than I could ever wish to be (I mean, for fuck’s sake, we used to have actual poke-wars and keep tabs of who was winning). lol xD

But never, never did I once think that they were annoying or obnoxious.

……..I just wish it could have occurred to me at the time to have told them that face to face (back when there was still time), and reassured them otherwise, I mean looking back at it now, in hindsight, it was obviously something they were always a little insecure about and just played it off half-jokingly, something I never even realized till now, and It kinda twinges/tugs at my heartstrings a bit (in regret) that it just never really occurred to my stupid, oblivious, teenage self back then to have told them otherwise.

I just hope that deep down my dear old friend knew how much we cared, how much they really mattered to us in the end, as well as how deeply and sorely they’re still missed (cause not a day goes by where I don’t think of them). But most importantly, I hope they knew that they were someone I was real damn proud to consider and call: Friend. :’)

P - Person you last texted: My Mom

Q - Questions you’re always asked: Besides the typical, “What’s up?” or “How are you?” lol xD…. Lately it’s been things like: What are your thoughts / speculations on what’s to come for the latest season of RWBY and the like, which is nice, considering the hiatus we’re currently on. ^-^

S - Song last sung: More like hummed; I had that damn catchy Level E Opening Theme song stuck in my head a few nights ago, and ended up humming it whilst in the shower. lol x)

T -Time you woke up: 6:00 A.M.

U - Underwear color: Black and White.

V - Vacation destination: Japan would be pretty cool. :D

W - Worst habits: Besides my bouts of indecisiveness, speaking fast when I’m nervous, and insomnia from time to time as well as coffee being my vice? o.o

Hmm - Welp, let’s see….I can be a real worry-wart, and have a bad-habit to unnecessarily over-think and mull over even the littlest things, especially over past or upcoming situations (I can thank my anxiety/social anxiety for that one).

I also have a really hard time when it comes to opening-up/baring my soul aka letting others get too emotionally close to me. Rest assured, I’m not proud of it, but it seems like keeping to myself or keeping others at arm’s length seems to be my go-to comfort-zone / coping mechanism when it comes to avoiding getting hurt, and what’s worse, if it get’s really bad, I tend to do this subconsciously and pull away or distant myself emotionally for a bit, especially on harder days, when I’m more susceptible towards my depression, which really really fucking sucks cause if there’s one thing I really value rather highly, it’s the concept of loyalty / friendship / camaraderie a great deal.

....And it’s not like I want to deliberately push people away, the problem is that over the years it has manifested itself as a goddamn reflex, hence it being one of my more worse bad habits that I sometimes still find myself struggling with at times (and it doesn’t help that as an introvert, I prefer to really enjoy time on my own / quiet moments to myself a lot more).

Tch, I’m starting to sound like a loner / lone wolf here. -____-;

....Either way, I guess I gotta thank my fucking social anxiety/apathy/depression and overall past trust-issues for this one as well. *sigh* Trust me, I know I have issues, and if this affects you in anyway, just know that it ain’t nothing personally against you, I know/am well aware that I’m the damn problem. -__-;

X - X-rays you’ve had: Dental X-rays when going to the Dentist, but yeah that’s it really (never broken a bone in my life). ^^;

Y - Your favorite food: I’m actually really partial to: Italian and Chinese food, though I’m always down for doing a small cook-out/grill out once and awhile.

Z - Zodiac sign: Western Zodiac (Leo) / Chinese Zodiac (Sheep/Ram).

Tagging: @angelotics , @theamazingflyinglion , @the-dork-knight-dot-exe , @spidersmiceandeverythingnice , @bottomofthewell , @nightjasmine10 , @1nerdygurl , @desenhosrabisco , @yangsmash , @hellfire47 , @boserwulf , @red-moon-eclipse , @youko-fairy , @ravenhull , @animatedjoke , @tifa-the-bacon-goddess , @fionaandcake27 , @howtobook101 , @blueteamproblem

#tag you're it #lol x)#shit this is long - sorry about that! ^^;#don't feel obligated to do this if you don't wanna (it's cool)! ^^;#meh - haven't done one of these since myspace first started to become a thing (damn i'm old) lol xd #dunno why i suddenly felt inclined to do one of these (i don't normally like to put myself out there like this). ah well.#personal #this got way too personal actually #tumblr survey thing

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labyrinthmuses · 6 years

Photo

“No one needs to save me! I’m fighting for the people I love. Ultimately, I am a hero.”

Describe Your OC

1: their voice - her voice is very soft and feminine. she sometimes extends her syllables and that accentuates something of a deeper tenor. her voice has been described to that of an angel, which is ironic seeing how dangerous she is.

2: their smile - vibrant and bright, no matter the circumstance. over the years he smile has developed into a truer and more genuine sight than before as she continues her journey to happiness.

3: their greatest achievement - while there are many instances in her “fighting career” that she is most proud of and has often been called wonder woman, they hold no candle to her children. all three of her children are extremely special to her and she believes them to be her finest achievement.

4: their insecurities - for most of her life she had a hole in her heart, being alone and feeling abandoned. that very pain carried its way through her adulthood and while she has healed that hole and filled it with love, the fear of abandonment remains deep within her soul. she also fears that her past would define her and people would always be afraid of her and see her as a monster.

5: their shortcomings - having given in to her inner darkness so easily at a young age and later in life in order to protect her children.

6: how they deal with grief - she relies on looking inward and her walls tend to go back up whenever she feels this emotion. throughout her life, she grew accustomed to constantly losing people she came to care for and the outlet depended on the depth of the loss and on her mood. currently in life, she hopes not to have to lose anyone again soon, but she’s trying to learn how to lean on her loved ones for help and support.

7: how they like to dress - you can usually find her wearing jeans and a tee, sometimes accompanied by some type of flannel. and she’s always wearing her converse sneakers. always. when she does make an effort she has a few loose floral blouses and a dress here and there.

8: what they like to eat - all the junk food. literally, all of it. she tries to like the vegetable thing but it just doesn’t take. if she could live off of grilled cheese and french fries for the rest of her life, she wouldn’t complain at all.

9: their theme - soldier by fleurie.

10: their fashion sense - casual and comfortable, easy to move around for a fight.

11: their family life - she had none whatsoever growing up. as an adult, she found a father and siblings. her relationship with the three of them is very close, particularly to her father. she and her half-siblings find that they have a lot in common and they love each other very much. her relationship with her father was difficult at first but once leila accepted that the man who loved her despite everything was really her father, then it was smooth sailing from there. we don’t speak about leila’s mother…let’s just not even go there. she’s the worst. leila has a very healthy relationship with her husband and her children and even in spite of complications and difficulties, they live a very peaceful life. when there isn’t ant life-threatening villains parading around, of course.

12: their romantic life - she has only ever truly loved two men in her life. funny enough, all her children come from both respectively. she resisted with both and bless both their souls for enduring her massive walls and barriers, but eventually she comes around. a part of her first love lives through her first born and a part of her spouse, considered in canon to be the love of her life, lives through their children and will through their marriage as well.

13: their embarrassing memory from years ago - one time she thought that she was talking to a ghost in order to impress some of the kids she lived in a home with. there wasn’t a ghost and they most certainly were not impressed.

14: how they react to burning their tongue on food - yells and screams and if she has a weapon in her hand, move away because she will throw it.

15: how they react to a brainfreeze - while she does yell and scream much like the burn, a brainfreeze oddly paralyzes her entire body and for a moment she cant move. it’s really peculiar.

16: their dreams - her only dream was to find her family. and she has and has also now established her own as for her new dreams? time will tell.

17: their ambitions - she always wanted to become a teacher of some sort, and at the helm of some type of army. her current occupation is to give classes to the young students and train them in combat and she has also since been named captain of the guard. one could say she’s living a pretty swell life.

18: how they sleep - moves around constantly. is kicking and flinging her arms the entire night. she oftentimes ends up on the other side of the bed or even on the floor.

19: their reaction to betrayal - literally, just don’t even think about it. she can eventually forgive but she will never regret and you will lose all respect from her. betray her and she won’t care about you anymore. loyalty is a very important quality and she values it deeply.

20: their reaction to a mystery love letter - she would laugh and probably burn it. if she ever found out who it was from she would never let them hear the end of it. it’s safe to say, she never had any secret admirers as a young girl.

21: how they react to pain - her training in arrancar stripped her of her ability to feel pain physically. she does feel it but she has an extremely high tolerance, torture tactics would definitely not work on her. emotional pain on the other hand? it has the capacity to break her.

22: what they’re like on two hours of sleep - G R U M P Y. very grumpy and temperamental and for lack of a better word, a bitch. it’s safer to just steer clear from her whenever this happens.

23: how they act when they’re sick - again, grumpy. she is also whines and complains a lot and wants to eat nothing but french fries and milkshakes or smoothies. she can also be very demanding, her children make sure to be out of the house whenever she’s sick.

24: what motivates them - love (family, friends, etc.).

25: why you enjoy them - oh boy. i could write you a novel about why i love leila. she is, quite honestly my favorite OC that I have. she is so extremely special to me and i am immensely grateful for any who have contributed to her development. i’ve learned so much from her and from myself over the years…she truly is one of a kind for me. i was looking back on old pieces i wrote for her and compared it to the more recent things i’ve done and wow, my baby’s changed so much. there’s never a dull moment with her and i can literally write out any emotion with her. she’s multi-dimensional and i love that about her, all the layers and mysteries. she is a special woman. i’ve put so much heart, so much, into her and have worked very hard on this character.

#nettie writes #ch: from porcelain to ivory to steel #w: leila corvinus

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neilchax · 6 years

Text

Thank You For Breaking My Heart

You were my first love and essentially my everything. I would have gone to the ends of the earth for you. I was putty in your hands because I was so vulnerably in love with you. Loving you made me crazy. Not in a bad way; in a beautiful, earth-shattering way. It made me experience feelings that I didn’t even know were possible. I never knew I could feel so deeply for another person until you came into my life.

And then you broke my heart. You crushed it and left me with scars that will never fully go away. In the beginning, I didn’t think I would be able to make it through the heartbreak. It was the worst pain I’d ever felt. It was like you had driven me out into a desert, told me I was worthless and then drove away, leaving me there to starve and die on my own. I was absolutely terrified. Everything that I knew about my future and myself was shattered. I barely knew who I was anymore. I couldn’t even properly function, reducing myself to a hysterical mess on my couch for three days straight.

Everyone kept saying to me “time heals all wounds.” At first I just couldn’t bring myself to believe them. But after a while, I started to feel like they might be right. I observed many of my friends who had been abruptly been broken up with just like me and they were all doing fine now.

I began to feel to feel a sense of hope that I might be doing fine one day as well. And now I am. It’s still a work in progress and I still feel pain sometimes, but I see the light at the end of this very dark tunnel.

So I just want to thank you for breaking my heart. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t know what it’s like to hit rock bottom and then pick myself up from there. If I didn’t know how it feels to reach my lowest point, I wouldn’t fully understand how strong I am and how much resilience I possess. Thank you for breaking off our relationship because now I know that I am worth so much more than what you were willing to give me. Know I can see what I want in a man and what I don’t want. I will look for someone who truly comprehends how special I am and someone who values me way more than you ever did.

Thank you for crushing me. Now I realize that I had lost myself in you. Now I can focus on getting myself back to the incredible and single person I was before I was even been in a relationship. Thank you for making me see the beauty in this breakdown. There was magnificence and poetry in the pain I experienced. Thank you for helping me explore my artistic outlets. It has given me so much inspiration to pursue my love of the arts.

At the same time, thank you for being my first love. If you had never loved me, I wouldn’t know how beautiful life is. You added so many colors to my world. For the first time in my life, I understood every love song, every smile and every blue sky. Love makes life worth living and without you I would have never known how true that is. This entire heartbreak wouldn’t have hurt so badly if we didn’t love each other so passionately. We didn’t end on bad terms and maybe someday we’ll reunite but for now, I just want to thank you for helping me see the splendor in this cruel world.

So thank you for giving me this remarkable experience of loving and losing. I’ve never felt more emotions in my entire life. I’ve also never felt more accomplished. I think a part of me will always love you. But I know that every part of me will forever feel grateful that you loved me, broke my heart and showed me what I’m really made of.

Do you know when u smile my heart melts?

Do you know when u hold my hand my heart skips a beat?

Do u know the way u look at me, I feel butterflies in my stomach?

Do u even know how special u make me feel?

After all the miseries I have been through, you came in my life as the first ray of sunlight after a dark night.

Yes my darling u gave me hopes n desires n what not..

I know u try very hard to make my insecurities disappear.

I know all you want is to see me happy..

Do u think I don’t notice your efforts to make me smile?

Do u think I don’t understand why do u stay up at night with me just to make me sleep?

Yes I understand those late night calls are not easy for u...but u still stay awake until I fall asleep..

Yes I understand how insecure u feel when u don’t see me every day.

Yes i see all your efforts n I really appreciate your love.

But what u don’t know is that I don’t have the capability or u can say courage to fall in love again..

I have held myself in my own invisible bubble which I cannot allow u to invade..

I cannot fall for u, not because u r not good enough, but because I’m afraid that it won’t last.

I don’t have the courage to fall in love again...even if I do, I won’t be able to tell u..

We are in those middle pages of an empty book which will never be filled up with words.

I am sorry for all the pain I have given you.

But the truth is that, this is what I m. Fearful to fall in love again n let my heart broken again....

#Thank You For Breaking My Heart

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crabsticksforbreakfast · 7 years

Text

A-Z messages

Think of a person for every letter of the alphabet (if you can) and type a message to them without mentioning their name.

A - I find it strange, the way things turned out with us. You were my best friend and I thought you knew me well enough to realise that I would never do what you accused me of doing. It hurts that you didn’t accept my explanation. In a way it feels like, deep down, you were tired of keeping this friendship going and it was a good excuse to end it. The silence will continue for as long as you let it, because I will not apologise for something I didn’t do.

B - Thank you for being the quirky, nerdy, Scandinavian looking weirdo my best friend always wanted. You’ve given her the confidence to do what she wants to do in life and you’ve healed all the wounds caused by those who didn’t deserve her.

C - When I first met you, I admit I was slightly intimidated by you. You are one of life’s beautiful creatures, and I naturally felt inferior. But now we’ve spent more time together, I see that you’re a great person on the inside too. Our Tuesdays always put me in a good mood and I could easily write a book about all the funny things that happen in that room!

D - We have always said it was fate that we met. You understand my weirdness and I understand yours. We’ve changed so much and been through so much, and we’ve always found a comforting voice in each other. I love our random adventures and our misheard lyrics, but most of all, I love you, you rancid old slag.

E - I find it utterly ridiculous how jealous I am of you. You pose me no real threat and I know that even more now than ever, but in my moments of deep insecurity, I will still find myself comparing myself to you, even when you’re long out of the picture.

F - Being around you used to be enjoyable, but you are becoming increasingly bitter and negative and it makes me so desperately uncomfortable. I wish that just once you would try to see the positive in someone and say something nice. It is unsettling to hear you bitch so much about everyone. I can’t help but wonder what you say about me when my back is turned.

G - As soon as I met you, you were there for me. My second mother. And now it seems you have inadvertently given me the greatest gift by bringing your son into my life. Second mother... mother-in-law... it’s all the same really! If only you knew that your secret dream was actually slowly coming true.

H - You are my rock, my sister, my favourite human. I struggle to think of a time when I didn’t have you, although I’ve only had you for around half of my life. I can tell you anything and will always support you in your hard times. You are worth so much more than you allow yourself to have and I hope that you continue to be strong with all you are battling. I love you.

I - You could have just been honest. I had so much admiration for you, but you watched me make a fool out of myself in front of everyone. There was no need to be mysterious about things. You could have just told me instead of fucking with my head.

J - You were my first love, and now you’re back in my life in a completely different way. Thank you for sparking the first flame of romance in my heart when I was a fat little eight year old. You showed me that truly good men did exist in the world. Now, you give me the motivation to break out of my shell and share my passion with others. I could never have done this without you.

K - When you came into my life, I never expected that I’d come to need you so much. For a while, I’ll admit, I thought I’d taken on more than I could handle, but you were going through things I could never have guessed at. Now I have peeled back the layers more, I’ve discovered who you really are and I am so thankful to call you my friend. Thanks for listening to my nonsense.

L - Sometimes you are my most valued confidant, and sometimes it feels as though we barely know each other. You see the world so completely differently to me, and often this can be infuriating, but I know, at heart you are a good person who loves me, and I appreciate that so much. I do wish that I could tell you everything like I used to, but when it feels like you don’t care about what’s on my mind, it makes me retreat from you. I wish things were different.

M - I loved you so much, and even now, I think about you many times during each day. Re-reading my memories of you doesn’t hurt any more, and a part of me wishes we could spend some time together as friends, but I’m scared you’ll let me down, as frankly, you always did. If only you had been as dedicated to me as I was to you. Things would have been very different. But I know that things turned out the way they did for the right reasons as everything is beginning to fall into place for me. I genuinely hope your life gets better and that you are happy with your choices. I hope your health improves and that they can cure you. You deserve every good thing, and that includes my forgiveness.

N - You’re grumpy, you’re foul-mouthed, you’re immature, but you’re the coolest relative I could have wished for. I had to grow up without you but in a way, I feel we bonded better as adults than we would have if I’d been a child. I’m so glad our mutual friend pushed us together on that boozy night. Fucking wanker.

O - When I knew you at school, I didn’t really know you at all. You were just another face in the crowd. Now I know you in adulthood, I have discovered that you are basically me. We like the same things, laugh at the same jokes, we even have the same weird insecurities. You are a good person through and through and I’m so glad you’re my friend. I’m sorry I glared at you the other day. You did not deserve that!

P - You are so wise and so influential in my life. We’re such different people, of different ages, from different backgrounds, but we just gel. Your straight talking advice is always spot on and I love how you remember all the stories I tell you. You genuinely care what happens to me and that is so refreshing. Thank you for letting me stay at your house. Those three weeks saved my life.

Q - You were my stop gap. My stepping stone. I never even met you, but you gave me something to obsess about when I needed to fill a hole in my heart. I still think you’re adorable, but I’m living in reality now. You showed me it was possible to move on from the saddest moment of my life, even if it was all in my head.

R - You were a rollercoaster ride. You spun me round and shook me up and made me feel something at a time when I felt like nothing. Sure, what you did was super shitty, and a part of me still kinda wants to punch you in the face, but you were the best kiss I ever had. I just hope, for her sake, that your wife never finds out what you did.

S - Good god. You are... beyond words. I still can’t believe that when I first saw you, I was so underwhelmed. Now, you set my soul on fire with each move you make, each half-smile, each lingering stare. You are two different people in one, and the one you rarely show is starting to come out and shock me more and more. I really hope you don’t leave before I am ready to leave with you. I can’t wait to spend 48 hours in your bed, wrapped in your arms. I wish I knew how to show you how much I love you. Shower head, bath tub, man and woman symbol, toilet, pink bikini xxx

T - Please, please, please let me stay in my job. Thank you.

U - ......

V - You are such a nice person, but you need to sort yourself out. I do not want to be the one who has to call the ambulance because you ate yourself into a diabetic coma.

W - I miss seeing your happy little face. I miss our occasional nights out. You turned from sweet innocent lady into knicker-flashing wild child. You are so funny and lovely.

X - ...

Y - ...

Z - You are my icon. You are the kindest, most down to earth human being on Earth. You have been through more shit than anyone I know, yet you still keep a smile on your gorgeous little face every day, ready with open arms to give hugs to those having a bad day. Your advice has been the most thoughtful, honest and kind I have ever received and I hope you get the love you deserve. Any man would be lucky to have you, and if we both end up alone in the long run, I’d happily marry you so we can be mad, short, ginger women together.

#a-z #alphabet #game #letters #message #friends #relationships #friendship #romance #people

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