#but by the end theyre like... no actually. our old one worked the best. for us. it worked. it supported us right
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the structure in mac and dennis break up
this is gonna be a short post tbh, I just rewatched the episode and I have a couple of thoughts.
if you need a refresher on what I think the structure is in general, I talk about it here.
I think Mac and Dennis Break Up shows us an example of Mac and Dennis (and Charlie and Frank) working properly in regards to the structure, let me explain why:
First... I don't think there's a need for me to describe the plot of the episode, we all know.
What I want to focus on, is that at one point Mac moves in with Frank and Charlie, and starts bringing his way of life to them.
At first, Frank is thrilled.
"I could use a little structure in my life here." he says.
This reminds me of dialogue from Carries a Corpse.
"Nobody admit this to Mac, but... I feel like he was carrying a ton of weight."
"That would be another one of his annoying identities... the man who could carry stuff."
He's been shown carrying Dennis, on top of generally being inclined to micromanage, take care of others so they're safe, and make decisions or at least demand to be consulted in them (like which movie to watch on movie night).
That's when Mac works best, so I assume that Mac generally brings structure (or is a man of action, as he describes it).
Later on, we see Mac take this too far, and Frank doesn't like it anymore. To me, this is because what this episode tells us is that Charlie and Frank don't work well with a set structure, the way that Mac provides. They're more free.
I think this reading is important because it shows me why The Gang Gets Romantic fundamentally fails in its objective (not as an episode god forbid, I mean in the narrative, especially for Mac and Dennis).
It applies the romcom structure to Charlie and Frank, while it doesn't to Mac and Dennis, when it should be the opposite. Throughout the episode we see that Mac and Dennis keep fitting the tropes to the romcom structure, but they refuse to follow it, and thus it crumbles. It can't work.
Here's another thing.
Dennis' back broke in the S15 finale.
That is funny, yes, but what does this mean when I say that Mac is the (his) structure, then?
Well... Carries a Corpse implies that Mac was carrying most of the weight of the corpse, and the corpse is meant to be the show... and most show meta is basically the same as Dennis meta (most meta lines seem to relate to him, whether the fact he left for north dakota and came back, or the fact he's a dad, being between life and death, breaking his back aka the structure, and so on), as I have discussed better in my other post.
Point being, Mac carries Dennis. That's what he's meant to do, and what he does best in their relationship.
This makes me think of another recent scene that I think is emblematic of their dynamic... but in an interesting way.
So, in 2020: a Year in Review, Mac and Dennis work together on a song.
They seem to be in harmony, but eventually start disagreeing and stop altogether to focus on something else. Why?
Because Dennis is working on the backup vocals, and Mac is working on the words. Which means their roles are reversed. Mac is supposed to be carrying the song, like the wind beneath his wings that he is, and Dennis, like the man of words that he is, should be responsible for the lyrics. They're doing each other's job, which means any harmony they reach is still bound to crack a bit the moment the song doesn't work for them.
Their seating position on their sofa reflects this.
Compare it to Mac and Dennis Break Up, which is supposed to be our ideal.
They're in each other's places, in 2020.
This isn't new, they've been sitting in each other's places ever since Break Up. Mac was sitting in Dennis' place in MFHP, Dennis was sitting in Mac's place in Gets Romantic.
So tl;dr... Mac and Dennis work well under structure, when Mac is the one to bring it and carry Dennis. They fit a proper couple structure after all. Charlie and Frank don't work as well under structure, since their relationship is more unique and doesn't quite abide by normal rules because of that.
This does bring me to one last consideration though...
They're back in their right spots, in season 16! Only problem is... couch is different. I would argue an inflatable couch doesn't offer the same amount of support (structure) that a normal one would...
Now that Dennis' structural essence broke, is he gonna feel what it's like when Mac is absent?
Perhaps this is why in Cursed we get Mac as the lucky one while the others as so unlucky they start to believe they're cursed (according to the synopsis...).
So the whole gang needs Mac?
Well...
In Goes To Hell pt2, when they build the human pyramid, it's both Mac and Dennis that end up at the bottom, as its structure.
So maybe... Dennis needs Mac as his structure, and the gang needs them to be in sync so they can both, together, support them (or shut the hell up about it, as both madbu and s15 would argue). Maybe this realization could be what brings the gang to work together in order to get them together. But that's getting into just speculation so imma end it here.
I like these thoughts though... Mac and Dennis being the foundation, the structure of the whole thing :)
#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#s16 spoilers#always sunny#macdennis#macden#analysis#meta#this is as good as ''mac is the rat dennis is the cheese and together they're the trap of macdennis''#i do love building meta off of other meta that i pre-established... makes me feel like im citing my own research papers#if this only makes sense to me im so sorry my bad. it will happen again#this was born as a twitter thread while i rewatched madbu and things started making a bit too much sense so i had to write about it#i think if by the end of inflates they go back to their normal couch thats like golden sign that macden is going canon#cuz they maybe start experimenting different couches and none of them work for them. so they start blowing them all up#you know. like the stew!!! throwing it in the face instead of eating. using it wrong to get a thrill.#but by the end theyre like... no actually. our old one worked the best. for us. it worked. it supported us right#not flimsy like an inflatable couch is#so mark my words. if by the end of inflates we see macden sitting AT THEIR RIGHT SPOTS with THE RIGHT COUCH mirroring madbu...#then macdennis is gonna happen. period#dennis is gonna figure out that mac is his structure and theyre gonna go back. together. at the BOTTOM of the gang pyramid#getting pissed on together<3 like meerkats#dennis ''i aint goin down'' reynolds when hes destined to be part of the structural support and thus has to go down and stay down#dedicating this post to parker and joe they'll know what i mean#dennis reynolds#mac mcdonalds
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What would you say was the thing that really shifted your opinion on postcanon stuff? I remember reading your long form posts about it and finding them pretty eloquent and interesting given the information I had (and I admit they did nudge me to me to end up not reading the epilogues along with the sheer length and my own squeamishness, though of course you also gave them their due when you felt it was fair)
if i'm being real, it's primarily interaction with other homestuck fans - my social media spaces tend to be pretty heavily curated, i basically only follow people i trust to be intelligent, since like. there is a level of comfort and complacency with social media? i don't like following new people, i don't like unfollowing old people. so i just dont branch out that much.
but i joined the mspfa discord in........ may of last year? while i really enjoy playing the role of like, i compared myself to solaire of astora once. guy who is there to help. i enjoy doing that, there is fun in that. i have spent many hours over the past months explaining homestuck plot points in ways that basically only i would and it is largely, pearls before swine, because the fact is that people dont want to understand post-canon, they don't want to like, pick at it critically, to understand why the decisions were made, they want to hate post-canon. and this is a very critical difference between me not liking post-canon and the majority of people hating post-canon.
and there is something to be said about experiencing homestuck as it is perceived by other people, to really solidify what i liked about homestuck post-canon, because there was stuff i liked to begin with. and seeing people who hate it without good reason frustrate me! genuinely, if you had to see the same "i heard jade has a dog penis" discussions every 2 weeks from some sprout who showed up only to be mad, you would start to defend it too.
like, i actually delayed that second blog post at the time because hatred for the team was flaring up again, for whatever reason, i don't even remember. but i remember putting it off because i didn't want to contribute to people who were blindly angry about homestuck^2
there are reasons to not like post-canon, lord knows there are plenty. i actually stand by basically everything i said about it not actually working and the times where it goes too far. in the second blog post, not the first one. but like, there is a total and all-encompassing difference in what the conversation is, "yeah, the meat and candy thing doesnt really work and dirks graphic suicide is ill-considered at best" doesnt matter at all when the level people are operating on is "say a plot point as a joke, make people mad, have fun circlejerking over how bad it is"
part of it is also that in the process of writing my own comic, it kind of comes with the territory to be less precious about the characters. like, team slime, my home discord server, watches movies every saturday. for a while, our theme was musicals, and eventually, we watched hamilton. and i realized that lin manuel miranda writes alexander hamilton in the exact way i am always afraid i am writing jane and vriska, like. just. truly relentlessly protective of them. and so being less precious about these characters means recognizing the flaws therein, not being afraid to write them just being kind of disasters. i still am pretty precious about them, but its a work in progress. you gotta get your hands dirty with them, and that puts it in context of respecting when others do the same
like, there are still a lot of really glaring flaws in post-canon, dont get me wrong, but theyre not insurmountable, and it helps to have spaces like burning down the house for me to express directly like. what i wanted out of homestuck. post-canon is not what i want it to be, but when has homestuck ever given anyone what they wanted without any complications whatsoever
and i think it is genuinely capable of being extremely good - this recent update (yiffy overlooking the rosemary drama) is extremely choice! i genuinely love how everyone involved is characterized, the panels are flashy, it puts to bed really stupid shit, like. its unbelievably fucking good how the problem kanaya has isnt "rose had another kid with jade in secret, our marriage is in shambles" but "jane knows about this kid", like. the absence of infidelity conflict is refreshing and says so much about everyone involved. and i have been thinking nonstop about how rose and jades daughters takes after caliborn of all characters. like. "you hope they eat each other alive" with the perspective of like, a caliborn grin is such an INSANE direction to take yiffy! holy shit! its awesome!!!!!!!!
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Someone should tell Eve that squeak doesn't get to decide how we feel about squeak's characters.
REAL. this is definitely gonna set some people off, but the whole "cuddles is the only real villain in the entire story and all the other staff are actually innocent" narrative is bullshit. nearly everyone that works at that hospital tortures and permanently detriments innocent lives if not ending them entirely in brutal ways, and were supposed to just forgive every single one just because "theyre being forced to do so"?
also, the "one true villain" being the only cishet and likely only neurotypical in the comic really rubs me the wrong way. apparently the reason sparklecare even got rebooted was because kneeby thought having evil characters also be queer was "bad representation". i am not a fan of the "queer people can do no wrong" approach. as someone whos gay and under the trans umbrella, id like to point you towards dahmer and chris chan.
jeffrey dahmer was a gay man who cannibalized other gay men. christine chandler is a transgender woman who committed incest. those traits are not mutually exclusive in the real world. they are taken simultaneously, unrelated to eachother unless you go out of your way to relate them. and i think its safe to say that nobody would try and link dahmers sexuality with his actions unless theyre homophobic.
just because one figure within a minority is fucked up, does not mean the rest of the minority is fucked up by association. if that was the case, then id be associated with edp445 and h/tler due to the fact im black and suffer from autism. but thats not the case at all, so why are the clowns so afraid of letting queer characters be antagonists, or vice versa?
all the nurses are treated like theyre completely innocent just because of their identities and/or them being possibly coded as neurodivergent. it seriously comes across as infantilizing queer and/or autistic people, which as someone whos both, i do not like. especially nurse puppy. i do not like the way puppy is written.
puppy is, in my opinion, the most explicitly autistic coded character in the comic (not including characters that are confirmed to be). lo is also the most babied by both the clowns and the fandom. loves whole premise is that cuddles brainwashed lov into seeing loves job (murdering and torturing innocent civilians) as a fun game. lo is canonically 30 years old, by the way.
speaking from experience, us autists are relatively easy to take advantage of when were younger, due to our difficulty grasping social cues. ive been taken advantage of by so many people in just fourteen years of being on this earth. ive been groomed, sextorted by someone who i saught out comfort from after said grooming, painted as a predator by the very person who sextorted me, and then propped by my only remaining "friend" group who would bring all that shit up just to milk my reaction and use it to further damage my reputation.
almost all these people were also queer and autistic, and coincidentally also liked sparklecare, my sextorter being the one who initially got me into it, since he had a uni pfp one time. theyre also victims of similar shit themselves. does that mean all queers/autists/sparklecare fans/abuse victims are like them? no. but does being any of those things excuse the torment they put me through? no the fuck it does not. you cannot give me the excuse of them "not knowing" or being "brainwashed", theyre all at least two years older than me, some being legal adults as im writing. you cannot convince me they didnt intend to fuck me up.
so it reasonably infuriates me to see a Grown Ass 30 Year Old Adult That Murders People For Fun And Listens To Them Scream In Misery With A Smile On Loves Face given the excuse of "lo doesnt know!!!! blame cuddles not lov!!!!" and the fandom just not questioning that at all. imagine watching your lover or best friend get murdered by someone breaking into their house and chucking a toaster into their bath while theyre taking a shower, and the cops* tell you to sue the manufacturers of the toaster. see how fucked that logic is? thats basically sparklecare.
*not like you should trust american cops but i needed an example ok
one of these people i described earlier happens to kin puppy, what a surprise. maybe im just projecting, but the most explicitly autistic coded character (also the only character so far that uses neopronouns/identifies as a xenogender) being treated this way is revolting to say the least, and i feel like lo is made immune to criticism by the clowns because lo just so happens to be those things. if this character werent queer, they would give no chances.* i will gladly allow puppy to exist as is, same personality, everything, i dont mind. its the constant infantilization and justification of loves abhorrent actions that upsets me.
*and this applies to all the other nurses in the comic, except maybe nurse snare since shes practically nonexistant after volume one. but in volume one we are shown barry being tortured and injured by, as far as i can tell, every nurse thats been introduced so far. barry, one of the fandoms most beloved characters, is put through excruciating pain and trauma on screen (with a million trigger warnings before each page, in typical clowns fashion) and nobody gives a fuck once its over, just because everyones queer except cuddles, and cuddles is the Only One To Blame For Anything At All Times.
the cycle of abuse is extremely common. an abuser being a victim does not cancel out them being an abuser, and if theyre not actively seeking help theyre a bad person, regardless of what minorities they belong to. but that does not mean everybody within that minority is a bad person. sparklecares creators and fandom cant seem to grasp that. kneeby cannot erase my opinions on the way the staff is portrayed.
#WARNING#I START TALKING ABOUT TRAUMA LIKE HALFWAY THROUGH THE POST#tw grooming#sparklecriticism#sparklecare criticism#.png.svg
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Tracing, Stye Theft, and the need to be Unique
A comment chain on Instagram got me thinking about these things earlier. Someone asked what common art advice is actually bad advice, and I left a short list that Ive heard, among which is "dont trace."
Naturally, this ruffled some feathers, but heres the deal: so long as you arent line-for-line copying the majority of someone elses work and passing it off as yours? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with tracing. Copying and tracing are two different things; think back to the old "how to draw" books. How they blocked out anatomy and taught you the relative distance of things with lines and joints. Tracing... is essentially doing the same thing. As a learning tool for personal use, being able to take a picture and draw the skeletal frame over it helps you with perpesctive and anatomy immensely! It even helps in stylization. Tracing develops the skills you need in order to replicate something, replication develops the skills you need in order to stylize.
Which brings us to our next issue.... style theft isnt a thing. It doesnt exist. Unless youre forging paintings and passing them off as the real deal, there is absolutely zero reason not to look at the techniques and stylization your favorite artists use and replicate that. Again, it helps you develop skills like shading and coloring and lineart. And having your own "style"? One that has to be completely different from anyone elses? Thats bullshit! Most artists dont even have ONE style. The best artists have several and go out of their way to continue learning more!
Think of it this way: we wouldnt have 2d animation if actual artists gave a flying fuck about their "style" being copied. The Renaissance artists would never have risen to prominence if their teachers hadnt sat them down and told to paint how they did. Bob Ross would never have had a tv show if mimicking how someone else creates mattered in any way at all.
The way you develop your own style is simply this: you look at your favorite artists, you analyze what elements of their work make your brain happy and what are enjoyable for you to do, you mash them all together and voila. Your very own (not really at all) "unique" style.
I think this frankly terrible and counterintuitive art advice trend is killing artists. When you go online as an artist and preach to a bunch of younger aspiring artists that invaluable tools for growth are inherently bad and wrong and theyre evil for using them, you do three things at once:
First, you make them fear creation. "I want to draw or sculpt or knit or what have you, but what if I accidentally copy someone? Then Id be a bad person!"
Second: you kill the joy of creation. They become too focused on the end result and never really learn how to make for the sake of making.
Third: you block their avenues of progress. In order to get better at your craft, you really do have to try everything. Trying to make certain techniques into something "off limits" only serves to hinder that progression. It causes stagnation which in turn causes frustration, which leads us back to issue 2.
When I was a kid, my grandma would drive two hours to my city every year for my birthday, and every year she would take me to the art museum. My grandma loved art with every fiber of her being. She was thrilled when my mom went to art school. She was estatic when my sibling and I took up drawing. But she never, EVER tried to make anything herself. See, when she was in school, her art teacher had told her she wasnt very good. And she, being a kid, believed it. And she stopped trying. She would never color with me and my sibling, would never try drawing with us when we begged her to join in. Shed chuckle and say "oh, I couldnt draw a straight line with a ruler!" And sit and watch us work and rave over how good we were at it instead.
When she hit about 80 or so, her memory started going. But she still loved the museum and she still loved art. One of my aunts talked her into taking one of those "how to paint" classes at a little studio near her house. She painted a cake. And you know what? It was a really friggin good painting! Itd be hanging in my room right now if my aunt hadnt called dibs!
My point is this: anyone of any skill level can learn to draw or paint or whatever. Im a major proponent of this; I always have been. But shaming creatives for how they do it, for how they learn it, for what they make? That destroys the drive to create, and it can last a lifetime. Who knows what my grandma could have made if not for that teacher? Who knows how many young artists felt nothing but shame and guilt over their work and quit because of bad-faith art advice?
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ummm please say more about the wilbur/john/xander fic right now <3 theyre my favourite guys ever and we need so much more content for them (i say as I write yet another fic not about them)
YIPPEEE YEAHHHHH LETS GOO!!!!! ok this got LONG so its all under the cut. uhm. i hope this tickles your fancy :3
i have SOOOO many thoughts abt these three tbh,,,, i had a thought last night of what it would be like if john and wilbur were engaged when wilbur. uhm. "died". but like 20 years later john's found xander and to hell with it if he can love them both. one is dead, itll be fine
except, wilburs not actually dead. he falls out of a portal and hes normal again and holy shit what does john do now. like thats still technically his fiance (and first love but shh) but his husband is Right The Fuck There
but it wnds up pretty okay. john makes sure wilbur really is okay and normal (hes as normal as he can be after being in the black for that long) and introduces them and it goes great
wilbur backs off of his own accord even though it absolutely destroys him to do so and gives both john and xander (mostly john) the shovel talk ("i swear to god- and ive met god- if you hurt him ill be one to get your ass and send it to hell" type shit)
but. where is this legally dead man going to live. aside from john, there arent many people who jnow him still alive (and ghats not to count the amount still working with peip) (there are two still working with peip. john and colonel schaffer)
so wilbur camps out on john and xanders couch until they figure out what to do from there
but wilbur is Old and Weak and hes honestly provably pretty close to (if not) disabled from the sheer amount his body has gone through and the couch is definitely making it worse. and xander being trained in medicine (though not practicing) steps in and is like "ok i know its going to be weird as hell but you have GOT to get in a bed. ours or not i dont give a shit" but they dont haev the space for another bed and honestly wilbur's been struggling to sleep alone anyway
so they end up dragging his ass into their bed and its like. the best sleep of his life. and he wakes up in the fetal position (normal) between john and xander (not where he fell asleep) and theyre both kind of holding onto him (what the fuck ?)
and he freaks a bit. bc thats his ex (?) fiance and his new husband. he cannot get between them like this are you kidding??
so he goes and sits on the couch but its really cold and he hates it (flashback sequence??) but he forces himself to not care and like. puts a show on or smth until xander wakes up and comes out like "why did you leave i was comfortable" and hes like "im already intruding a lot i felt bed" and xanders like "youre literally not but ok. do you like pancakes" and thats that (the answer is yes, blueberry ones)
and like a month later finally wilbur is cleared to get to work on mapping and explaining the black and white, and the lords in black, so he throws himself into that. 9/10 times he falls asleep at his desk or on the couch again and john and xander are both a little sad but theyte quiet abt theyre big boys theyre handling this great (<- lying)
and xander snaps after like. three weeks of wilbur destroying himself for the sake of explaining the shit he'd seen and he goes and demands that wilbur comes to bed one night and it goes a little something like this
"wil, come to bed"
"i have work to do"
"i dont give a shit, im shutting your laptop in ten seconds"
"no, i have shit to do. go cuddle with your husband" (< said bitterly)
"why are you being a bitch about this. we miss you" (< terrified this is wilbur shutting him down rn, but totally genuine)
"wtfdym you miss me. your husband is in there. you realize im your husbands ex right." (< getting increasingly upset)
"yeah. i mean. it doesnt really feel like you are ahymore, but if you want to call it that sure. but we miss you." (< catching on slowly. not fast enough)
"what" (< officially confused)
"have you not. noticed how much we're both kind of totally in love with you. really" (< losing his fuckingn mind)
"xander what the fuck are you talking about. what" (< also losing his fucking mind)
and then its a monologue about how john never stopped loving him and xander knew that if wilbur ever came back john would probably (definitely) go back to him in SOME capacity and he never minded. and then that happened and xander found himself doting on both of them and kind of maybe definitely falling really in love with wilbur and he can say not but. you get the point
by this point john is also here standing in the doorway (exhausted) (his fingers are crossed) and wilburs just stunned into silence for a while
and then he shuts his laptop and stands up and takes xanders (outstretched) hand and lets them take him to bed in silence and its. its his way of saying yes okay? its his way of telling them that he gets it, that he's done the same and that he loves them too
and they fall asleep together with wilbur in the middle. and its perfect
#this got so out of hand#whoops#wilbur/john/xander#raspberry writes#hatchetfield#alice answers asks !!#not even sure when i fleshed it out this much#last noght it was. 'lol what if they fell in love post b&w'
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What are the villains so far in it? What're your takes on the classic villains of Spider-Man?
apologies for the delay i went apeshit over recieving a ask at last jhgfghj
im still working out whos in it and whos left on the cutting room floor cause kjhgfgh theres so many different villains yknow but i currently have seven villains, and all but two of them are solid and have actual stuff i can share
those 7 are doctor octopus, kraven the hunter, venom, green goblin, norman osborn whos separate to gobby in this cause i saw that idea and was inspired, the rhino and sandman
gonna put my details on them under the cut cause i have Things To Say
ok so doc ock in this universe is as per usual otto octavius and hes a man in his late 40s who wears hawaiian shirts all the time
i love raimiverse so rosie is here too and married to him and shes trying her best
so his backstory is he made the arms to make a safer and more direct form of manipulating control rods in nuclear reactors, but he didnt believe 1. it would fail or 2. anyone but him would be up for doing the test run, instead he opted for a "if you want something done right do it yourself" approach
and taking a moment to say the plant he picked out for the demostration is where pearl foggers, our spiderperson here, dad and stepmum work
thats a surprise tool that will help no one later
so the demostration happens and everything seems to work as planned but during the whole immediate celebration the power started rising uncontrollably and caused a explosion, of the people in the room with him otto was the only survivor due to the fact he wasnt able to move from where he was standing and had the arms to shield him
he ends up really fucked up from this cause of both shrapnel and burns but also radiation exposure cause while the rest of the plant were able to shut down the reactor so there was only about a minute or so of it being open thats still a lot of radiation and also of course the bog standard getting fused to the arms
and furthermore it takes a good few hours for rescuers to get to him so he was just stuck pinned down and surrounded by dead bodies for a bit which isnt very good for your mental health yknow
anyway he finally gets rescued and then has to spend three months in a isolation ward to recover which is incredibly painful considering the amount of damage and is made worse cause everything he was wearing that could be removed had to be destroyed including his wedding ring
only to find once hes given the clear that he can go home that hes being painted as villain for the accident even through he tried everything he could to stop the power rise and has no idea what caused it
and his reaction to this is "if theyre going to call me a villain, a villain i shall be"
moving on to kraven who is in the art ive posted, we have miss evpratsiya olesya kravinoff, whos built like rhea ripley
shes this 6'7 woman who is just as insane as any other kraven out there and its great, like she will start mauling you and also due to the fact ill have to remake her ref she is going around tits out while doing all of this too
she hasnt even got like a fuckign kjhgfghj reason to be this way shes just insane and went to serbia to get mutated to be even more insane and THEN she shows up in the plot she didnt have to do that she just did
and then THEN she arrives in new york and sees spider-fire and is just "that is a child" and openly says "hey im not going to fight a child leave now or else"
and pearl, being 1. a spiderperson and 2. a 13 year old says no!! im goign to stop you from doing crime!! and evpratsiya just shrugs and starts throwing blades at spider-fire WHO SHE INSTANTLY CLOCKS AS BEING A 13 YEAR OLD MAAM CALM DOWN
and like,,, she also stalks pearl for a bit to find out the perfect time to strike and the one redeeming part of this behaviour is she refuses to go after flick if flickers not doing spidey stuff cause thats not honourable while actively stalking this CHILD
she wont stop being this way, shes jsut insane and running around with her titties just out to try to violently kill a child
oh also shes engaged to calypso, we stan a insane lesbian
that whole,,, thing aside we are moving onto venom!! instead of a human disaster we have another 13 year old!!
so pearls best friend is this kid called daisy peachley and theyve both been friends for years bonding over being nonbinary and not neurotypical cause pearls autistic and daisy has adhd
but the problem is daisy has a MASSIVE crush on pearl but pearl doesnt feel the same way cause ones aroace but hasnt jhgfgh had that realisation yet
and cause theyre close daisy knows pearl hasnt ever had a crush on anyone and rationalises how pens feelings wont be returned so instead shes just agonising over it and pining aggressively
some infomation about daisy is pen is fostered but isnt exactly in the best situation aka the apartment is full of other foster kids who are all being basically neglected so daisy spends pens time out of the house
this all leads to one day at like 4am daisys out and about as per usual but instead of just messing around shes having a bad time and is doign some arson cause as kids pen and pearl used to spend a lot of time in this lil tiny shack they made for funsies and daisy has been maintaining it ever since while pining over the feelings and pens had enough and burns it to the ground
as this is happening pen sees something fall from the sky and as a 13 year old who is going through it she decides to check it out
and if youve seen the blob then we have the scene were dan the can man picks up the blob with a stick and it falls onto his hand but its daisy seeing the symbiote
obviously this is very scary to a child but whats more scary? the sound of people approaching!! so daisy makes a break for it
and then doesnt show up to school for a week to get used to this situation
now kjhgfghj the problem comes with a angry traumatised 13 year old being combined with venom so pens foster parents get cronched and then the two of them are just doing the worst way to cope with all these feelings by taking it out on everyone
in lighter news we have my green goblin!!! its fucking terrifying
so pov: you are norman osborn, you make the serum and your trying to find out the uses for it all, you sign papers allowing all kinds of experimentation not really caring for what your funding
and you get more than you bargained for
gobby here is a 9 foot tall embodiment of destruction and chaos and that knows who is responsible for its being here
it was "born" in january of 2017, and it escaped in october and oh how it had a plan
but in more kjhgfghj light news the first thing that experienced was the joy of trick or treaters thinking its cool and all thats clothes came from a halloween store and a weird lil girl who gave it her witch hat
after that it wasnt seen for several more months aside from some glances such as being seen on cctv and so on until that found where norman osborn lives and made itself at home
now norman canonly dies in this universe and thats important to gobbys arc cause that doesnt let the world know its out there until norman is no more as that was spending all its time terrorising him for fun and well, that enrichment is gone now, and that wants to play
speaking of norman in this universe is a fuck! :)
pearl already didnt like him prior to the bite cause he owns the building flick lives in and keeps bringing the rent up so everyones struggling and when you see how that effects your family yoru gonna form some strong opinions
i will admit i dont have a lot for him but i do have he has his whole terrorism thing going on by calling himself the green terror and doign that shit after work which leads to his death and thats kjhgfghj all i have but its more than what i have for flint
moving on!! rhino is very heavily inspired by tssm cause i love it so much
his full name is aleksei o'hirn-sytsevich but everyone whos not his mothers side of the family call him alex and hes a trans man!! his mums a first generation russian immigrant and his dads a third generation irish immigrant but he doesnt feel like he belongs to either culture
hes got giganticism! hes pretty good at not causing problems for himself or others by being big but when he was younger he was like a bull in a china shop
his backstory here is he was just a petty thief but then he ended up seeing somethings he shouldnt have and even though he wasnt gonna tell he was still grabbed for it to be safe and then just sorta gaslit and manipulated to getting the suit on so he couldnt tell people
as fucked up as that is hes jsut going along with it jhfdghj like it could be worse hes not dead yknow
and lastly sandman!! i really dont have a lot im afraid
i do have hes a amab enby and is in a relationship with alex cause once again i love tssm and hes got a death hawk that he never properly styles cause he cant be bothered to kjhgfghj
what little i have of a origin for him is just oscorp is involved and its all started cause of alexs disappearence cause he Knows he wouldnt just skip town without telling like 12 people first
so welcome to this essay im so normal
#the amazing tales of spider fire#THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!1#I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS!!!!!!!!!#and now i feel Fear as i tag characters#doctor octopus#otto octavius#kraven the hunter#evpratsiya olesya kravinoff#venom#daisy peachley#green goblin#norman osborn#rhino#aleksei sytsevich#alex o'hirn#sandman#flint marko
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long vent sorry ik it's bed oclock but
my sister is moving out tomorrow to college while im at work.
and it's nice to know that she's going
i wont be so vain as to say that i raised her but it sure is . a feeling that she's finally out
i say this fully aware that this is the last night we'll spend in this house as we are, i would almost say as children but im 26. but it's the feeling of her taking a step away from being a child
im likely only thinking this way bc im watching little women bc i needed something comforting but perhaps this was not the best idea. but of course im only writing and sitting in a vc and not spending the time with my siblings
ive never really been a good sister to her i suppose. my brother has been a better sibling than i have in the past several years.
but still i have this strange notion that my siblings have managed to keep growing up and i've ended up stuck in some bullshit faux childhood because i can't face reality and can't manage on my own.
both of my siblings have moved out and i've never tried and i feel like such a child, such a failure, because i can't stomach dealing with stress.
of course no one would want to be with someone like me. the type of person im hoping for wouldnt give me the light of day
because they'd see my siblings and wonder how they had such a failure for an eldest sister
i wont be vain and say that i did anything for them other than torment them. it was the only way i knew how to act with them because now that theyre both adults, i dont know how to process it because i still feel like a ten year old
all i do is complain and lose my temper and be uselss and sit in my room of course no one wants to hear these things because people have actual problems
i always said id stay at home for my sister to protect her from our parents but i knew that was a lie for myself and others because frankly i was too afraid to do anything else
it's bittersweet knowing that i will not see my sister regularly probably from now on
im glad shes out
now if only i could just stop existing in everyones' minds so i can finish being here
and ofc i turn my sisters happy milestone into a vent about myself bc im so selfish and self centered granted i never said it out loud but i feel every word of it
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have you seen the last amphibia ep? if so, opinion on it?
i have watched the finale and LOVED the finale actually and think it was a satisfying conclusion to the story and themes. heres some discord messages of me discussing it + some assorted rambles
i really think amphibia handled its split up very well actually. my main gripe when a protag group and/or found family splits up at the end is that usually, their experiences together are often not seen to really affect them too much despite everything that happened to them. but the people anne/sasha/marcy had bonded with over their time in amphibia are shown to still be affected by said people, and the reverse is true for anne/sasha/marcy.
like, in the timeskip we can see how that being in amphibia was so important to them, with the people who they bonded too being represented in both symbolic and explicit ways. we see anne become a herpetologist, not only having the exhibit be designed and named after amphibia, she has it at an aquarium, where the plantars went to get their minds off of annes original departure. marcy has a blue newt pin slightly above (which may symbolize how important that was) to her to her charms on her bag, which hold a clear importance as she chooses to take them on a flight. sasha has: a heron swords patch, a sticker of her guitar from battle of the bands, and a charm of her swords. also, arguably her being a child psych may be a reference to grimes help in her life and her want to pay that forward.
on the flip side in amphibia, while we get a more limited view of the changes (as the time skip there only seems to be a couple months-ish and we really dont see as much then), we can still see things beginning to change, and how people have been affected there. hp, despite being originally a pretty traditional character now grows avocados. sprig is currently working on something detailing his and annes adventures and later agrees to continue adventuring with ivy on the new continent. andrias wears both marcys pin and a leaf pin, and wearing leifs hood/shawl thing and using barrels hammer as a cane (smth smth people in your life both new and old changing you). also my good friend andy (@/firebendingsummer) pointed out that ivys hair looks/seems to be styled like annes. also along with amphibia healing, relationships among the toads/newts/frogs seem to be getting better.
the development of the characters is great too. anne goes from someone floating on by to performing the highest sacrifice and then sort of dedicating herself to being the best person she can, and doing so in a job based around this crucial point in her life. sasha starts as someone pretty toxic, and generally a bad influence, and goes into a job where she helps kids affected by this, influencer and influenced. marcy just wants them all together, that sense of being in a group but by the end runs a webcomic all by herself.
i really like the message the last episode gives out, no matter if your situation changes and you dont talk or if you drift apart from people, they still were with you at one point and that love is important even if situations change. and even though these sorts of changes are scary, theyre inevitable and we just have to just be human, learn how to honor those loves in our own way, and keep going.
no love, however brief, is wasted.
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Sorry this took a bit to get to time slipped right by & life happened a bit. Plus i got my first tattoo & thus couldn't use my right arm as well for a bit. Weather here has been like. Back & forth between rain/snow & mostly sunny so i can only blame the horrors. Oh good! Im glad its mostly easy stuff for you this month. Wait what? Thats all wild & im glad those teachers got fired for that. If only we were that regulatory of teachers in the states. A win win situation indeed. A carnival? That does sound like a lot of fun i gotta add that on my list of stuff to hopefully see one day. Yeah honestly! Like something about schools just. Is way different & can only be explained by school air. Thank you! I got sparkle decently quick which i needed her for her buffs so im glad. Those 30 free pulls from the anniversary will help my archeron gain i hope. Shame jingliu is in the same patch so ill have to wait for her again. One day clara will come to me. I hoped it would be on sparkle's banner but i got e1 gepard instead. I cant even reach gold & gears because the final boss of swarm disaster is still beating my ass i need better imaginary units. Or to work on ratio maybe he can deal with that damn boss duplicating itself. Oh talents are another thing i should focus on maxing for characters i just. Keep forgetting. Next patch we have triple drop coc & su planar ornaments which is gonna be nuts i cant wait to farm then. Ive played wendy's arc a bit more & like. Wow cocolia is awful what the hell. Worst mom of the year. Im excited for you to continue them both are so good. Oh thats what all that was about okay. Seele best girl always. Oh no worries take all the time you need to jot it down. Yeah some people get. Real intense about their us patriotism & its. Embarrassing. My condolences on losing such an impressive noita run. One day ill get into honkai part 2. But for now its a slow movement through part 1
ah very fair and apologies on my part as well!!! yknow how it is. same old same old. i was personally also Quite busy with our dear beloved school festival which drained me for like a solid week 😭😭 but it was SO worth it. im def helping with it next year as well. AND YOO TATTOO??? THATS AWESOME....... man i wanna get tattoos when im older (and piercings. i dont have a Single one i feel inferior to like all of my friends) but ive never really known what Of. and yeah same with the weather..... it was like. 9 celsius like two days ago and its 25 celsius today. Wild. and thankies!!! i Got Through it (with varying results tbh) but not anything to get me really down so we chillen. AND YEAH RIGHT???? our school is just generally a hotspot for strange individuals (both students and teachers) but its usually in the positive way. but ah what can you do. and yeahhhhh i heard it kinda sucks in the us. and same!!! ive heard a Lot of things about the carnivals in spain since theyre a pretty Big Thing and our teachers love to tell us about them so i actually ended up looking quite a bit forward to seeing one someday. if money allows for it, that is. AND GOD FOR REAL. school air my beloathed school air. OH CONGRATS ON THE SPARKLE!!! to be fully honest i do Not know what her kit is because i wasnt playing That much when her banner was up. or rather focused more on just going through penacony, both story- and exploration-wise. AND GOOD LUCK ON ACHERON!! i managed to get her, her lightcone, AND claras eidolon in like. a 100 pulls which is probs a new record for me. currently saving but i dont know who for yet SHJD. ill see if any future penacony chars interest me (ive been Thinking about boothill, or aventurine for clara) but if not then its gonna be either jingliu or topaz. and ahh good luck with getting them as well in the future!! GOD I HATE THE SWARM. I HATE THE SWARM SO MUCH. GAHHH. the most annoying enemies in the game by a MILE. but ah what can you do. oh yeah very real i always forget in genshin but luckily dont really have that problem in hsr. and yeah im Waiting for that triple drops for my acheron since rn she just has. Very scuffed temporary gear. but not gonna lie her damage is pretty good regardless. i think the mechanic with not needing energy to use her ult but stacks of That One Thing instead is very fun and interesting. brings a bit of spice into the gameplay. AND AHHH I HAVE VERY COMPLEX FEELINGS ABOUT COCOLIA shes a really interesting character imo. but thats revealed a bit more in the later arcs so i wont share too much hehehehe. tho yeah i agree she is Not a great mother. SEELE BEST GIRL ALWAYS!!!! and thankies!!! also yeah... but at least theres a lot of ways one can make fun of them. i literally cant stop saying "MY PRONOUNS ARE U/S/A" whenever i get a good mark on my english tests its just embedded in my vocab now. and have fun with honkai!!!!
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nimona movie thoughts as i watch
it feels kinda very heavy-handed so far? just 13 mins in theres a mean old bully, some stranger call nimona a freak despite just standing there
idk if i like the change plotline of ballister trying to earn his redemption back due to false charges? again, the quietly cast aside by someone who couldnt take not winning/not even admitting there was foul play was a lot more subtle than ballister being accused of killing the queen in front of everyone
i dont like ballister claiming hes not a villain. nimona is obviously the one that internalizes that perception more, but hes more like that character trope where he says hes a mean old villain and then works on a cure to help sick people and quietly bring to light the injustice of the institute, so again i guess a lot of it isnt subtle just in the first 13 mins
ballister either got himself caught or is much less capable here
nimona literally speaking abt her feelings abt being perceived poorly is... dont like that. ms shapeshifter who'd rather rage and lie than come anywhere close to the truth
cant say i like the cutesy puppy dog face for ballister
again the conflict between our best friends/lovers to enemies feels silly when its a false charge instead of a simple awkward moment of jealousy. goldenloin is jealous of how ballister was talented and skilled enough to keep up w him, goldenloin casually takes the promotion, and ballister fades away. while a goofy moment of ballister here shouting to murder everyone in a sarcastic way being taken seriously be goldenloin feels... silly (dumb)
nimona asking a rando to trust her right off the back when in the original even in the end she's wary of ballister. the movie is going hard on being goofy in tone, idk why they didnt just have her show up and joke abt her monstrous appearance as a shark or whatever
the tone is much more for kids lol. the comic had characters cussing and being dramatic and tense and here it feels like im watching a nick short
Wish with the conflict being such a huge change there'd be a timeskip, the original made sense for him to quit being a hero, but here it's off
Idk why the movie is portraying nimona almost as a nightmarish burden. That should be her intrusive thoughts, not a suggestion to the audience, shes not even really doing it in a performative way, ballister does not like it
Idk why ballister is ready to kill her after she helped him, like why they wrote that. Comic nimona would never allow that and would ghost immediately
Ballister calling her a monster is very different from his comic version suggestion to run tests, which triggers her anger.
Speaking of, he seems to have lost all interest in science here
Sucks they made ballister ask what she is, not after she was killed and revived herself, but in their actual introduction. She would never take that
Hate her not deflecting. And whys she wanna help him clear his name and say she'll stick by his side, not even in a lying way
I'd like to say I like the "I'm not a girl, I'm a shark" (v reminiscent of wolfwalkers) but ballister telling her to be a girl sucks
He says he regrets this and should've stayed in jail. Idk why this ballister is so passive... his whole thing in the comic was continuing on in spite of goldenloin and the institute. Accepting the label of villain even if he knows he's not.
idk why they created a high school jock bully-type character. maybe to make goldenloin look better by default?
a lot of the knights are faceless compared to the comic which makes them feel less real
kinda sucks goldenloin offers to hunt down ballister in place of ballister
ballister saying theyre doing things his way is the closest to the comic so far, hopefully, nimona respects that bc her attitude is way off so far
SUCKS ballister every second is like "i cant be seen with that, its too much" while ballister in the comic gladly rides into wherever on dragon nimona
the worldbuilding in the movie feels the opposite of the comic. it kind of reminds me of dishonored
i wonder why they added a whole "never been outside the wall" plotline, im not sure how relevant it is seeming as their city seems super diverse already (unless its exclusively for monsters like in Hilda)
again wish they didnt remove ballister's interest in science :( nimona kinda just goes for a wacky villain vibe, no different from what she does w herself
feels silly our movie ballister is established as uptight and stressed and goldenloin is like "hmm... this doesnt look right" seeing ballister dance around. i'd be like "oh, my ex has gone mad."
HATE ballister being the one to say microaggressions to her
if nimona's backstory isnt a lie, i'll scream
instead of lying, she pretty much was evasive for the first time. super sad there'll be no "what witch?" scene now. it was a '"fuck off, youre not getting an answer"
i have to say i did find a violent baby funny
hate goldenloin refusing to fight ballister. but i guess the entire context is different
ballister helping her w the arrow was the first nice reaction to her, but him being a pussy abt blood is annoying. is he not a knight...
going hard on the "not like everyone else" i see
ballister is kind of becoming reformed in his mindset here concerning monsters, but its hard for me to accept concerning nimona. her point was hanging out w him bc he had also been labeled a monster, i feel the moment he wasn't also accepting it, she'd ditch, not suffer his character development. hes not the literal father in wolfwalkers, ms evasive would not bet on him, esp in a scene where in the comic the point was her being defensive about letting someone else help her
i dont know why they turned ballister blackheart, the guy accepting the label of villain through exposing the institute's injustices into the guy desperately trying to cling to that life. maybe ppl really like redemption arc stories, but i'd rather watch some queer terrorists
SUCKS ballister is defending goldenloin now... the man is literally hunting u down
why cant ballister text the vid to goldenloin lmao
theres literally no reason nimona would still cling around to a man so against her ideals. im watching no.6 rn, nimona would be nezumi, but ballister isnt showing much of a reason to keep him around
its hard not to call ballister stupid, but ig the movie has them brainwashed. she-ra pt 2
hate nimona pleading w goldenloin
does nimona only have like 5 forms in this movie
ballister finally fights i guess. almost 50 mins it in it now feels like a prequel to the comic
why dont they let her be a dragon :(
tbh nimona hasnt quite shown too many of those traits
she is a dragon. but a brand mascot version to be cute 😞ok.
i cant remember if nimona ever interacted w children, i feel like she'd do her best to have as little contact as possible, not create situations to possibly be disappointed by
movie nimona is more internally self-loathing then externally as the comic was
LET NIMONA RUN AAAA
does ballister here not care she should have died... is that not a plot point in the movie anymore.
was gonna say goldenloin wouldve been fired on the spot for even taking an attitude w her, but :/
the institute seems to have more and less power in the movie?? the 'that was a shapeshifter' thing fits, but...
SUCKS ballister goes back to the institute mentality calling her a monster instead of their comic conflict of nimona lying to him. she should have died already, why didnt he point that out instead, itd still be understandable for him to get upset abt her lying, its not normal for someone to suddenly pop into ur life, regardless of if movie ballister had mercanaries or not that betrayed him too
aaaand im quitting the movie
#personal#nimona spoilers#ive never really made posts like this since tr*stamp. theres just too many things FHDSFJDS#but this is so reminiscent of watching that...
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I know you're not the biggest fan of JQ, and neither am I really, but some of her books outside of the original Bridgerton series might be up your alley. If you're looking for books where the mcs have known each other from childhood but don't get along then the first book of her newer Rokesbys series is exactly that. It's called Because of Miss Bridgerton but it's about the generation before the original. The fourth book in the series is actually kinda hilarious too cause it's a marriage of convenience virgin/virgin romance. At first the mcs are like "ew, theyre basically my sibling cause our families are bffs and we're neighbors" but then theyre like "we should probably practice kissing so its not too weird" and they do and then theyre like "wait a second." The mmc is a medical student and is like "I've read about way too many stds to go fucking around willy nilly, but I'm also too much of a nerd to not have done extensive research on how to Fuck Properly (TM)" lol. Also her novel Mr Cavendish I Presume is probably my favorite cause it's about this guy who was raised to be a Duke and then was a Duke for most of his life and is totally stuck up about it but oops! There might actually be a long lost cousin who is the real Duke and now the mmc has lost his entire identity maybe and also what does this mean for his arranged marriage? Reading the book before this one would probably be best for clarity, but imo it's not as good.
Thanks for the recs! I may end up getting around to her other books eventually once I'm looking for more historicals, but tbh? I have a lot of authors I haven't tried yet in all subgenres, a lot of authors I do like and wanna read more from, a lot of old schools, a lot of ARCs.... It's just hard for me to go back to authors that didn't work for me as much because I don't have a lot of time for it (I read as many books as I do in part because I listen to audiobooks and in part because I read while I work out).
And to be clear, it's not that I think she's *bad*, she's just not someone who gelled for me with like... 6 out of the 8 books I read. The ones I enjoyed I really did enjoy, but that ratio isn't great for me lol. Her sex scenes, by and large, really don't do it for me (like, I love The Viscount Who Loved Me, but the sex scenes in that book are not my favorite) and like I said, that often can fuck up a book for me big time. Maybe someday! But I don't know that I'm the reader for her.
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IM SO GLAD YOURE ALSO LOVING SUMMERS FIC IM LIKE ACTUALLY SO IN LOVE WITH IT (insert me going batshit insane) alsooo do look forward to more stupid banter in the middle of supposedly serious situations , they are the best and there are more . stan mcs little water creations tbh
bleh , honestly all my other writing works are old and i think pretty shitty at this point but i can link you to some if you really want (or i could write you a short story / drabble , i feel like thatd be less embarrassing on my part lmao , lmk if you want that) about my games though ... 1 2 3(WIP) the first two are well over a year old now , plus primarily unedited , so dont mind any possible grammar mistakes or generally terrible story flow (i swear ive gotten better since these 😰) and the third was also created last year (for a school project) , im slooowly chipping away at finishing the code haha ...
I ACTUALLY COMMENT ON MY OWN DOCS AS WELL !!! there arent much of them because .. well i havent wrote much outside of my private dms LOL
i also think it is insanely fun to comment on my own work
aand ive contacted my friends (aka my two and only true loves /p /hj) about the kinnie thing .. and one of them sent me this to fill out
youre not wrong actually haha , am i that easy to read ?
im an ambivert , i dont like seeking out social interaction irl unless its one of my close friends or im just that bored , but i do get really loud / energetic when i am comfortable (i think you can tell that by how much goddamn energy i put into these asks) but my "social battery" still drains relatively fast i cant handle people very well lmao honestly , my and cynos reasoning for making our terrible jokes align a bit , although most people (apart from my irl friends apparently ???) dont find me intimidating , my main motivation when i slip in puns is to get people to laugh at how terrible they are , because im well aware theyre pretty bad (or all my friends just have the same broken sense of humor i do) . but yeah , i guess now theres two people on my genshin kin list now why do i kin both of the artificial humans in the game -
lets play a game where we ask eachother random questions , so its easier to end things off lol , got a window in your room ? if so , rate the view it has !
- jellyfish
yes the summers fic is so good thank you very much for recommending me it 😖🫶
AND YOOO THOSE GAMES ARE CUTE HAHA i liked nel and akira!!! also impressive how you did 2/3 of them in scratch,, i've had very little experience with it from like a few years back when i took a computing class and damn was it hard as hell 😵💫😵💫 so kudos to you man
glad i'm not the only one who comments on my own fics on docs LMAO and like you said, it's insanely fun!!!
the way that you're technically all of the above in the bingo 😭😭😭 and that drawing is sooo pretty!£8483£!!£! is that you or an oc of yours? (either way i've been eyeing it ever since i started typing here, hehe)
sooo i basically predicted what you're like irl?
i think for the most part it's because i'm a bit similar to you in some sort of ways, i'm only ever close with my closest friends and can get tired by interacting with people sometimes 😞 but the downside is that everyone finds me scary HAHA 😭😭 my friends had told me a bunch of times on how intimidating i look, when i really just have a normal expression on my face... apparently they said i always look like i have murder on my mind 🚶♀️
you now have another addition to the kin list, congrats 🤗
GREAT GAME!!! i do have a window in my room but it doesn't really have a great view... i'm currently living in a shitty apartment for the time being and the only thing i see from the window of my room is my neighbour's unit from my apartment complex 🤷♀️🤷♀️ so i'd probably give it a 3/10 T-T
now, a question for you! what's the most silliest thing that you currently own? (it can be a purchased item, a gift you got, etc)
hope you're having a great day jellyfish ^^
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Vent in tags uwu
#so. ive always had trouble making/keeping friends. i didnt really get my first real friends until 5th grade and i basically brute forced#my way into their friendship. i was a dumb little 10 year old with 0 social skills. i kinda just. made them put up with me until they liked#me. then we had a big falling out very beginning of sophomore year. i think? then i was 'friends' with my neighbor but she was just using#me for. a bunch of stuff. then i was kinda a nebulous floater for a while and eventually became really close with someone i already new#we had a falling out just less than a year after i graduated.#starting about. beginning of my jr year? i became pretty close friend with someone a year below me. i had already known them for about a#year. but we really started hanging out around then. they were going through some stuff and i wanted to help them out as best i could#we kinda drifted apart a bit after i had a bad accident. mostly cos my family doesnt like them and i couldnt really. leave. or walk. anyway#we started hanging out more last april. like. a lot. and it tapered off a bit for a while but it wast mostly work and stress on both our#ends. and then about october we just. really stopped hanging out for the most part. i give them rides home from work bc they dont have a#car. they pay me gas and its not far so i dont mind. but. its currently late march and. we havent hung out AT ALL since late november.#and thats when they started their new job so like i would understand. except. they make time and make plans and KEEP THEM with this guy#theyre hooking up with. they did it with another guy too in January. and like. its not like i dont make plans. i do! they just. havent kept#a single plan since late november. no. sorry. they kept one. but they had me leave two hours in to go have sex. and. i dunno.#like. i get that sometimes shit happens or your just tired or whatever. but. this consistently? for this long? while also making and#keeping plans consistently with other people? and also spontaneous stuff too. i dunno. the only time they talk to me first is if they need#something. usually a ride. and im happy to provide! just. not if thats the only time we talk. we talk when i give them rides from work! but#im still giving them a ride. so i just. i dunno. im sad and im hurt and i dont know how much is just my brain being stupid and how much is#real and its driving me insane. so now im in my comfort place crying and thinking about maybe actually asking them#but. what if. what if my stupid brain is right. what if they dont like me anymore. i dont wanna be alone again. im scared#i have online friends and i absolutely love them but. its not the same. and i just. i dont know what to do. i wish i had some like fuckin.#wise old mentor i could ask or something. i dunno. im just. so tired.
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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS
i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas
SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.
warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot
officer!daichi
we are: vigilante/troublemaker
loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much
nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins
u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl
He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date
but let’s talk about before yall got together
he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall
bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u
HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???
you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close
and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty
and this would continue for a while
but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase
some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow
he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it
and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u
he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore
and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.
yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING
it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)
he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love
u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses
u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)
u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u
u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street
but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.
unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things
after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)
THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA
but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”
PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time
u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass
bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there
even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment
but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others
and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*
his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)
the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3
u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera
he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it
daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333
IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP
bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)
daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-
in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY
househusband!oikawa
we are: girlboss sugar mommy
somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife
and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant
IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.
sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it
his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”
please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding
when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.
only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long
yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo
he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking
probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”
8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house
he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min
please find him a hobby
crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering
like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies
please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way
does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention
speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment
don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”
one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”
ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”
So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.
“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”
u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it
tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it
Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”
bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified
beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny
also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm
but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)
now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine
you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi
ceo!kuroo
we are: secretary
bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours
but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break
one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”
flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE
but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more
HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though
will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM
he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare
RIP janet from accounting
that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again
it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you
bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention
*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”
but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank
and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.
once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you
def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again
prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention
maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile
he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)
sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever
you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you
he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!
never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you
but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)
bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH
brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too
no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH
BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”
it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”
yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u
KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u
he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf
but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3
also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him
it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333
you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced
HES the one who has a crush on you
you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss
he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp
offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him
bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-
he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love
probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd
in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank
dog hybrid!bokuto
we are: owner
Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333
OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT
he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him
please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs
he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!
the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy
HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3
soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob
the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY
he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u
destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent
tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS
loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua
gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!
ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head
which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other
so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention
If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic
but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it
u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!
def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back
“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”
doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth
doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it
speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word
SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING
u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips
big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out
he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud
hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now
we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet
HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away
and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants
he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him
knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon
he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better
he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious
in other words i love doggy bokuto
pirate!ushijima
we are: kidnapped
ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa
just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)
thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt
so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon
but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable
he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333
he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading
but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it
you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea
mf made them walk the plank
you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean
he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure
speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for
“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”
bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened
hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf
equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors
U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)
oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP
it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333
“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES
HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT
tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”
“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”
he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF
HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY
but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”
but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe
sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u
oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)
they are given orders to protect u at all costs
speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns
almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him
he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff
ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-
he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more
is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??
he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333
no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man
whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages
speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away
wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant
bruh so powerful he walks on water
second coming of christ who
IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it
legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle
speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous
“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST
he’s got good intentions...i think…
but everyone literally knows he would dive after you
in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard
mafia leader!kita
we are: associate from different group/family
kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families
so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit
arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3
nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two
POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader
RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM
he owns the majority of the underground casinos
and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.
you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most
prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune
when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere
u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone
before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that
his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u
they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them
but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you
so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou
and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history
he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him
until they bribe him at just the right price
and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them
oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much
one time you were kidnapped and held hostage
bro saw red
MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH
he got world record time
wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that
and of course, made sure you were safe.
yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...
is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go
“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE
makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster
and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)
and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY
absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”
makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you
he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS
takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work
meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you
he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3
the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...
in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita
--
--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--
officer!daichi:
karasuno squadron consists of:
cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama
investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi
surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too
househusband!oikawa:
makki and mattsun are also househusbands
iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-
ceo!kuroo:
lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-
janet still a bitch
kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings
yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there
dog hybrid!bokuto:
kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did
kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.
hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned
i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.
pirate!ushijima:
tendou is practically is right hand man
the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-
BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.
mafia!kita:
the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.
suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.
aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards
a/n: im going to regret posting this
#haikyuu#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu captains#daichi sawamura#oikawa toru#kuroo tetsuro#kita shinsuke#ushijima wakatoshi#bokuto kotaro#x reader
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Forgive Me
a/n: this was a request and an angsty one
im so sad theyre banning tiktok!!! :(
anon request: okok haikyuu hcs part 2: oikawa’s the reader’s best friend because their moms were also best friends but they went to different kindergarten + elementary schools so imagine how excited they were to go to kitaichi together,, anyway reader is the manager (again) but also functions as a really skilled medic,, (oh yea they start dating in second year) anyway they hit third year and reader protects bb kags,, so they break up. fast forward and reader is now in another school (either in miyagi/tokyo)
part 1.5
part 2
requests open!!!
oikawa torup in da house
so in this one,
yall are the iconic childhood friends
for the sake of this headcanon, hes an only child
so to explain
your mothers were actually college friends and became best friends and were so close that they decided to live next door to each other and have a child around the same time
also to mention, their husbands were also best friends and a few matchmaking rituals, they all got married
omg i want a friend to do this w me
it worked and they got pregnant and imagine their surprise when one was expecting a boy while the other was expecting a girl
they were already planning yall wedding before you were even born lmao
due to the closeness of your mothers, ofc yall would be best friends and you and oiks practically grew up w each other
every friday night was your night so sleepovers happened all the time
however, when yall were starting to go to school
you both ended up in different schools
dont ask me why ask your mom
oiks was throwing a tantrum and just crying bc you would be separated while you were just clinging on to him, thinking he would disappear
‘no! n/n-chan and me are going together! im not going if shes not!’
‘now, now, tooru, youre both going to be apart for only a few hours’
‘mommy i dont want to leave tooru-kun’
‘youll walk home together, baby’
i would cry too
so yall developed a routine that tooru would go to your school to pick you up and you guys would walk home together
again, explain to me how little 6 year olds are able to walk to and from school
he would always hold your hand to keep you beside him and you would swing your hands while humming a tune
‘ugh, i hate being so far away from you n/n-chan’
you sighed but gave him a bright grin
‘i do too. but we have to wait until we’re older so we can be together forever! mommy tells me that her and papa were not together for a long time but after school, they are now together forever. so once we finish school, i can be with you whenever i want!’
tooru nodded, a determined smile on his face
‘we’re going to be like mommy and papa. we will be together forever and we’ll have our own house and we’re going to die together!’
bls theyre like 6 and already practically thinking about marriage and they dont even know it
sometimes, if you both have leftover money, you would both go to a convenience store, Sakanoshita Market, and buy milk bread
‘mister, you dont have anymore?’
‘sorry, kid, now go on and have real dinner!’
you both lived in each other’s houses and sometimes, your parents would even wonder if they have a child bc you would disappear off to the oikawa’s house or the l/n’s
when he met iwa, ngl, you were jealous
even though you have the best friends rights due to being friends since day 1, you were still worried about being replaced
ofc oiks knew about that concern and kept you from being left out so he constantly dragged you to play with him and iwa
they developed an interest in volleyball and you wanted to hang out with them so you sometimes tossed the ball to tooru who would set it to iwa
whenever they wanted to do something else, you would always suggest going on an adventure
meaning going to the park
uwu kids are so cute
your little trio formed and soon, you three were the closest
despite going to different elementary schools, you still found ways to hang out together
however,
instead of you being jealous of being cast aside by oiks
it was him being worried that he was going to be replaced by iwa
it became apparent when iwa mentioned about going over to your house on friday to study something
and tooru is petty so he was mad that you didnt invite him
there was no way he was going to let iwa take you from him bc he knew you first and he was the first one to announce his intention of getting married to you in the future
he was yours and you were his, plain and simple
he went to your house unannounced and used his key to enter the house
your mom peaked from the kitchen and greeted him
‘oh, hello, tooru-kun! y/n is upstairs studying’
he nodded and went up to your room where you were reading some notes while doing some homework
‘y/n-chan’
you looked up to him standing at your doorway
your eyes lit up and your cheeks flared to see him
bahahaha yes feelings
‘tooru-kun!’
his face crumpled up and he tackled you, hugging the life out of you tightly
‘y/n-chan! dont leave me! youre mine, not iwa-chans! im better than iwa-chan, okay?!’
ofc you were just confused but tooru was weird and youve learned to accept that over the years
‘tooru, we’ve been friends longer. i’ll always be yours and youre mine too so youre always going to be first’
he was all teary eyed when you said that and demanded cuddles and a movie after making him run all the way from iwa’s house
‘but i didnt ask you to, though’
‘you were still the reason i had to run so take responsibility!’
he might be a handful but he was oikawa tooru and you love him otherwise
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
as yall were settled and the beginning of e.t begins
baby oikawa was absolutely in love with that movie fite me
he asked you why you didnt invite him to study with iwa
you stopped and looked at him confusingly
‘tooru-kun, youre good at science aren’t you? iwa’s this 👌 close to failing just bc he mixes up solid, liquid, and gas’
this is a random fact that i made up so pls dont blast me about this !!!
oikawa stops then just doubles over laughing
‘ohmygod! iwa-chan!’
yall know that arm wrestling video and his stage actor just yelling out iwa-chan? yes im imagining that
you looked at tooru weirdly
‘hm, laughing over your friend’s demise, okay’
needless to say, oiks called you during lunch and sounded like he was running and it was bc he was being chased by haji-kun after he made fun of him
‘ugh y/n! why did you tell him that!’
‘i mean,,,, its pretty embarrassing’
now comes middle school!!!
!!!!
yall are finally able to be in the same middle school as your friends!!!
you were so excited and you wouldnt shut up about it bc youve been looking forward to the day that yall get to be together everyday
not that you didnt have friends in your old school,
you just preferred being with the guys since you werent into the girly things yourself
and you get to see tooru everyday since he was in your class
oiks and iwa immediately wanted to join the volleyball club and they were soon accepted so it was only normal for you to be in practice a lot
you didnt join a club since none really interested you so it was okay for you to go the gym and do your homework while they practice
there was no choice on staying either since you usually walked home with them since oiks lived next door and iwa hung out at either your place or his
the current manager of the team noticed your friendship and frequent appearances so she asked you to be the manager rather than just being there
you didnt really have a choice bc oiks agreed for you and excitedly told you that you were going to be with them for the next 3 years
‘everyone! thank you for the past 3 years!’
hehe i just died inside
tooru was so happy that you would be in volleyball bc that was two favorite things lumped into the best 3 hours of his life: volleyball and you
so thus started your managerial duties
you became friends with the team but was closer to the first years
you quite literally watched them grow into amazing volleyball players and you sometimes cried along with them when they either got hurt or lost
specifically during the shiratorizawa match
it was then that you were sure of your feelings for your best friend
as he wept in the locker room, you stayed by the door, unsure if you should go in or not
but the others have gone to the bus already and iwa wanted you to go and get oiks ready so they could leave
so, you entered the room and your heart dropped, not even noticing the nasty smell of sweat in the boys locker room
he was hunched over the bench, a towel over his head
sure, he was just a first year and he has more opportunities to win
but it was the first time oiks experienced such a loss
and that smug look that ushijima gave him as he sat on the floor
you saw the defeated look as you stood with the coach at the bench
rushing forward and kneeling in front of him, you hugged him tightly
he cried, both defeated and embarrassed, but he didnt let go
it was then that you vowed to be there for him whenever this happens
every loss, every defeat, youll be there
it was painful and you had a feeling that this crush on him would make it harder in the future but you didnt care
bc tooru looked the most beautiful when he smiled
by now, second year has started
youve obviously noticed that your now second year friends are working much harder
and they were gaining more popularity
bc this was the age where puberty starts hitting everyone and lets just say god decided to bless the volleyball team
it shouldnt have surprised you that they were going to be known in the school or prefecture bc they were talented and handsome
perfect recipe for a dream boy
what was only a confession every few weeks or so, turned into nearly a dozen in a WEEK
dw you got some too!!
as a manager, you knew it was going to be a hard job being the only female in a team full of boys
but you didnt expect it to be this bad
girls would corner you in every hallway, outside or inside, to either give you their love letters to oikawa or to threaten you to stay away from their grand king
lmao king okay
and dw, you told them to catch you outside by chipotle after school but they didnt show up
that nickname seemed to get into oikawa’s ego as he told you about his love for that term
as you three walked home, oikawa was telling you about this one girl who called him her king and he giggled at the thought
‘she told me that she wanted to be my princess! but i told her i was a king so she should settle for a prince like iwa-chan’
you laughed at iwa’s angry face
‘shittykawa why am i downgraded?! you think youve above me or something?!’
‘PRINCE IWA-CHAN! HAIL PRINCE IWA-CHAN!’
you howled causing iwa to glare at you
‘not you too y/n!’
you were laughing so hard that your face was red and it got worse when iwa gave you a noogie
but little do you know, oikawa was looking at you at the side, trying to gauge your reaction
you didnt seem to be bothered at the fact that some girl wanted him to be theirs
that was why he frequently told you about his confessions
tooru wanted to know if you still felt the same about him being always yours by telling you stories about the girls and if you were jealous or not
but you remained indifferent and just laughed along
however, you WERE jealous but you didnt show it
youre like ‘im a bad bih you cant kill me’
with all these much prettier girls and talented girls than you, you were sure he would find somebody else
as long as he was happy and smiling, you were going to be just fine
again, another PSA! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT BC YOU ARE THE KWEEN TO GRAND KING TOORU AND YOU RULE THE WORLD BC YOU ARE A BAD BIH AND YOU WILL NOT BE KILLED BY INSECURITIES!!
tooru was lowkey hurt about you blushing with iwa and not being bothered about the threat that was looming in the distance
so he practiced more, slightly regreting now that you were in the team
he was being an insecure little bean again and suddenly hes thinking that you and iwa seem to be interacting more (even though you werent) and he was being jealous and this caused him to be slightly more irritated
with all of his practicing, he ends up hurting himself more often like bruises and such
that worried you deeply bc he was practicing too much and pushing himself way too hard and you knew he would combust any moment now
this energy seeped into the others and theyve begun to be more intense during practice and you were sure they were wearing themselves out
youve expressed your concern to the coach about the bruises on their skin and their wincing at every movement
‘the solution to this, y/n-chan, is to study about this and be the medic that helps heal our soldiers’
with that request, youve started taking more trips to the library, staying up late reading medical articles, and buying pain relievants and medical tape
this was when you decided you wanted to be a sports therapist or an injury related profession in the future
so you were obviously prepared when you caught oiks practicing late again
you were actually stocking up some medical supplies when you were passing by the gym and found it still open with lights
he was practicing those damn service serves again and you were starting to get irritated when he didnt listen to you about not pushing himself too hard
‘tooru-kun, lets go home’
your voice resounded from the loud sounds of the balls hitting either the floor or wall
he gritted his teeth
‘i need to do this. i need to be strong enough to beat ushijima. i need-’
‘tooru-kun, let’s go home’
(reference)
but he didnt listen to you and spiked once more but he didnt land back on his feet
but on his knee
tooru made a sound of pain
your heart started beating really fast and you busted out your bag that had emergency supplies
tooru saw you kneeling beside him and for a second, the pain subsided and he was only focused on you
the way your stray hairs from your bun framed your face and the delicate eyes that were so focused on bunching up your kita jacket and using it to elevate the sprained knee
‘ice. i need ice’
you kept mumbling and was about to stand up but his hand flies to clutch your arm
‘y/n-chan, please dont leave me’
‘but its going to swell-’
‘i dont care. i need you right now so dont leave me alone’
you stared at each other, one slightly irritated while one was begging
‘i told you that you were going to hurt yourself if you push too far and look where you are’
‘but it hurts and i need affection to cool it down’
‘N O, tooru, what you need is proper treatment’
‘cuddles are considered treatment, you know’
‘we’re literally in the middle of the gym-’
‘i dont care’
he gave you those puppy eyes and you harshly looked away to the side
then you sighed before sitting down behind him and holding him in your arms
he was content with your affection and your familiar cherry blossom perfume engulfing his senses
his back was rested against your front uncomfortably while your arms were around his middle where his fingers played with your hands
it was silent for a moment except for his occasional hisses of pain but he decided this might be the time
at this point, he was hurt already so he doesnt care if youd reject him since the pain in his knee would cover the pain of his heart
hes like 14 what he poetic and deep for
‘ne, n/n-chan’
‘hm’
‘go out with me?’
your arms tensed and he squeezed his eyes shut, prepared for the rejection
‘only if you stop doing these late practices bc i want to have dates with you after school’
oml oikawa was so happy
like so happy that he just turns around excitedly and hugs you, competely forgeting about the pain in his knee
‘omg tooru your knee!’
‘ow! ugh!’
so thus began your relationship
anon, im very reluctant to make this fluff to angst
he stuck to his word of not going too far with his late practices and yall often had dates at the park, the convenience store, or just at home
ofc it wasnt everyday but it was close to it
everything was great in the world bc you had your best friend as your boyfriend and he made you so happy
during the summer, you began being an apprentice to your uncle’s clinic to further advance your knowledge in the medical field
that meant less time to spend with tooru which meant sulky tooru
this often caused arguments between you two since he always brought it up
‘n/n-chan, i miss you!’
‘i miss you too, tooru-kun. but i have to continue this so that i can be a better medic for the team!’
‘but i matter more than the team! n/n-chan!’
that was his problem. he thought that now you were dating, youd be revolving him 24/7 and he was everything you thought about
but you still had a life to live and prepare for
you sighed before sitting next to tooru on the floor
‘i finish at 2. then we can go get some milk bread and hike up that trail in time to see the sunset. sound good?’
that made him brighten up and you were dreading of repeating this same cycle again in a few days
but you actually liked this boy and even could say you love him despite his clingy and slightly obsessive personality
when your third year rolled around, oikawa was finally the captain of the team
you were now on the hunt of another manager to take over for next year but so far, its been hard
theyve all been fascinated by the boys, especially oikawa, making it a hard task
during the practice, you notice that tooru has been different
to the others, he was fine
but to this one student, kageyama tobio, he was cold
harsh, even
it wasnt like him to treat his kouhais like that so you were confused and obviously worried for a player on your team
you pulled him aside one day and you asked him what was going on
‘tooru, why are you being mean to kageyama?’
he just smiled, but it was much more different
like a whole different smile youve never seen
‘hes the first setter ive met who is an underclassman. im just trying to toughen him up and shape him to his potential’
but you crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow
‘by criticizing every single movement he makes like breathing? by constantly embarrassing him in front of the others? by isolating him from everyone else?’
his eyes twitched and his grin got wider as he gently held your hands
‘we’ll talk about this later, n/n-chan, kay? now, i need to get back to practice as captain and you can continue being the manager’
to be honest, you were kinda pissed
‘no, tooru. you need to stop-’
‘y/n? stop it. this is a stupid thing to argue about so drop it’
boi watch yo mouth
but you didnt push further to not make a scene so you went to kindaichi and gave him his bottle and a towel to kunimi
it was tense between you and oikawa for the next few days
the team could pick up on the weird energy but refused to say anything because hello you were their mom and oikawa was their captain
but iwa didnt care so he straight up asked yall as you were taking spiking notes
‘oi y/n, shittykawa, did you argue or something? its kinda tense in here’
the entire team froze and even the coach looked between you two
lmao i love the coach
‘hm, y/n-chan and i just disagreed on something, didn’t we, y/n-chan?’
oikawa turned and gave you a grin
to others, it wouldve looked real and so convincing
but to you, you knew it was fake
thinking back on it, you shouldve known that was the beginning of his new persona
whenever you pointed it out, he would deflect and you wouldnt stop until he told you what was going on resulting more fights bc he was not doing his vital share in this relationship: communicate
‘tooru, listen to me!’
‘no, y/n-chan. im busy so later’
then it became like that
‘later, y/n-chan’
‘after this spike’
soon after, it felt like you didnt even have a boyfriend anymore
even iwa was starting to notice something weird since oiks was doing this to him too
he was distant, focusing too much time on volleyball which took a toll on his health
and he was getting angrier at tobio for unknown reasons
but these reasons soon came to light when that unfortunate day came
you were waiting for oikawa to finish up his practice so you could also pack up the balls and go home
iwa was already packing up to leave so it was only you oikawa and tobio remaining in the gym
youve talked to kageyama about tooru before and you encouraged him to ask oiks how to serve bc he was really good at it
today he was asking again but you already knew that he was going to refuse him like he has before
but you didnt see this coming
you saw him start to raise his hand with this manic look in his eyes and your eyes widened, running full speed towards kageyama
nYOOM
we finna change this up so buckle up babes
instead of kageyama, you pushed him aside so you took the hit
the force and the intensity of the slap was equivalent to the ones he used to his serves causing you to fly to the floor
you were breathing heavy, tears threatening to fall from the throbbing pain on your face, yet you didnt move
then your head turned to look at kageyama before giving him a nod and a smile
‘g-go to iwaizumi, tobio. he’ll take you home, kay?’
he looked unsure, looking between you and oikawa but your long blink and small smile told him that you would be okay
he ran to the exit and disappeared from view
it was now just you and oikawa
on the other hand, he remained frozen
he didnt know if he should grovel on his knees or cry to forgive him
‘n/n-chan-’
‘dont’
in all the years youve known each other,
from the very beginning in your diapers,
youve never spoken to him in such anger, venom, and hurt
‘dont say another word to me. dont apologize to me. i did what a normal person would do and protect an innocent child from something he doesnt deserve. he was just a child, tooru’
you stood up, eyes still not meeting his, instead focusing on his taped fingers that used to hold your hands with such gentleness and touch you so softly
‘what happened to you, tooru?’
you whimpered, arms wrapping around yourself
he was lost
he didnt know what to do
he had his own tears falling and he stepped forward in instinct to go to your arms but you flinched and backed away
that caused him to sob before throwing himself on the floor in front of you
‘y/n, please. y/n forgive me. i didnt mean to! please, y/n!’
part of you wanted to think that he was just so stressed out for the incoming interhigh that he wasnt thinking straight
but you knew you were just making excuses
this relationship started falling apart the moment you started your third year and you were just trying to hold it together
it was like holding water on your palms yet ignoring the water that was spilling on the side
you can only ignore it for a short while until eventually, the water is not there anymore and youre suddenly asking yourself, ‘where did it go?’
and now youre asking yourself, where did you go wrong?
was it your fault?
‘tooru, for months, ive made excuses for you. many times ive tried to sort out our problems, yet you always made excuses to not talk about it. it takes two to dance in a relationship yet it feels like im just dragging you in circles. we’re going in circles, tooru!’
he looked up at you, slowly standing on his feet with hands hovering over your shoulders, afraid to touch you
‘i can make this right, y/n. forever, right? you promised me years ago that we’d be together forever! we would get married a-and live together and be like mom and papa, right?!’
you choked back a sob at his face
he looked like someone else
he wasnt your tooru
he was the oikawa tooru that held you as you tried to walk
the one that pulled you back up to bed when you rolled off
the one who purposely tripped himself during your first year when you slipped so that you wouldnt be embarrassed in front of everyone
this was a selfish, jealous, tooru
the same look he gave you when he found out that you were studying with iwa without him
‘you hated tobio because he was a good setter, right? you were jealous and scared that he would take your place? was that it, tooru?’
that was then he really realized that you were the only one who could read him like you were reading a book
a single glance and you knew right away
and you calling him out on it allowed him to figure out why he truly didnt like tobio
and it was embarrassing that you said it out loud
and when oikawa tooru was embarrassed or flustered, he deflects
and it usually ends up badly
‘jealous? dont make me laugh!’
he scoffed while you glared at him
‘then what was it, then tooru? why did you do that, huh? because by the way youre acting right now, youre nothing but a green-filled monster. man, you seriously their captain?’
‘shut up, y/n!’
his personality took a whole 360 and you stepped back, scared he would lash out again
‘you dont know anything! you dont know how its like to feel second place from that bastard ushijima. you dont know how its like to feel threatened that your own kouhai could possibly be better than you. you dont know how it feels like to not feel enough no matter how many hours you practice or serves you hit. you dont know anything, y/n-chan’
he hissed and you shook your head in disbelief
‘so to satisfy your own insecurities, you hurt and put down others just so you could feel better about yourself. that just proves you are no longer the tooru i know.’
‘well i dont need you, then!’
you were taken aback by his shouts, composure now broken
‘im not him anymore so you either take whats in front of you or leave!’
at his suggestion, you narrowed your eyes
‘dont make me say my choice because you already know what im going to say’
despite knowing youd say that, part of him still wanted you to at least stay
but he was hurt and he wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt him
‘then leave! i dont need a distraction in my life anymore! you no longer satisfy me! so go!’
the tears now fell and you opened your mouth to say something but you closed it, replacing it with a sob
you bit your lip to compose yourself and swallowed that lump on your throat
‘fine. we’re done, oikawa tooru. and im sorry if i was a distraction to you for the entire 15 years of life we spent together. i can assure you that you will no longer have to put up with me’
then you left
nyoom?
you tried not to think about it bc you were only 15 and you were young so this wouldnt be the last time youd feel love
but not only did you lose a boyfriend, but you lost your best friend
and this is when you realized that best friends are only meant to be best friends
nothing more, nothing less
your parents knew nothing of what transpired and blamed your bruise at running into something bc you didnt want to strain the friendship your mother and his had if they found out her son hit you
family dinners were awkward and your parents kept asking until theyve just figured out that you were fighting
for the rest of your lives
iwa didnt know either
you made kageyama swear to you that he wouldnt say anything and you were relieved that it wasnt his business to say anything to someone else anyways
it was a secret that remains between the three of you
all was known was that you and oikawa broke up and you acted like he wasnt even there
if you had a problem, you went to iwaizumi since he was the vice captain
other than that, you no longer interacted with oikawa
it was an obvious thing that you wouldnt go to seijoh and your families were confused, wondering what the heck happened
‘y/n? youve wanted to go with tooru to seijoh since you were younger so what changed?’
‘people change’
tooru changed
instead, you went to karasuno
it was a suggestion from the guy in the milk bread store after you expressed your dilemma of finding a high school
‘karasuno’s right up there, kid. it’s not that far of a walk, right?’
‘i guess youre right’
during your first day of high school, you were shutting the gate when you saw iwaizumi and oikawa by his door
iwaizumi raised a hand in greeting and you smiled at him before walking down the road
‘i still wont force you to tell me but just know, you either fix it or get over her’
iwaizumi cautions tooru who kept his eyes on your slowly getting smaller figure
‘but i cant fix it this time’
you disassociated yourself from volleyball for the rest of years until a good friend of yours, kiyoko, asked you to help her manage the boys
she asked you to just help her out during your last year and you agreed since shes done a lot of things for you over the years
‘we have a practice match with aoba johsai on tuesday so you think you can come then?’
you froze, not knowing what to say
but its been years and you no longer cared
besides, you still felt protective towards one of your former baby chicks kageyama and him being there with that guy worried you
so you agreed
on your way there, kageyama stuck close to you since you were the only one he trusted there
‘are you okay with this, y/n-san?’
you squeezed his arm with a smile
‘it’s okay, tobio. besides, iwa told me that kindaichi and kunimi are there and i miss them so’
the boys and you started unloading their bags and kiyoko asked you to go and fill their bottles in case
the gray-haired setter, you knew as sugawara koushi, accompanied you to carry them so you were filling them up as he held the container of empty bottles
‘the boys are going to be good, you know. and dont worry about kageyama. hes extremely talented and we could win easily’
you gave him a reassuring smile and he nodded
‘i have faith in our firs-’
‘y/n’
a voice from behind you made the hair on your arms stand and you saw him there
he was shocked to see you there bc last thing he knew from iwa, you no longer had anything to do with volleyball
but here you were, in his castle, with an unknown person beside you
suga noticed your tense form and placed the box on the floor
he put a hand on your shoulder and made you face him
‘you know him, y/n?’
but you only gave oikawa one more look
‘no. not anymore’
oikawa screamed
yall that one last line is not relevant to the story but i put it there since someone pointed out that oikawa was always screaming and i thought that was a funny comment
#oikawa#oikawa tooru#oikawa toru#oikawa fic#oikawa x reader#oikawa tooru x reader#oikawa toru x reader#oikawa imagines#oikawa tooru imagines#oikawa tooru scenarios#oikawa scenarios#oikawa toru imagines#oikawa toru scenarios#haikyuu#oikawa angst#oikawa tooru angst#oikawa toru angst#haikyuu angst#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu!! x you#haikyuu!! imagines#haikyuu!! scenarios
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humaniterations (dot) net/2014/10/13/an-anarchist-perspective-on-the-red-lotus/ this article from oct 2014 is very dense — truly, a lot to unpack here, but I feel like you would find this piece interesting. I would love it if you shared your thoughts on the points that stood out to you, whether you agree or disagree. you obv don’t have to respond to it tho, but I’m sending it as an ask jic you feel like penning (and sharing) a magnificent essay, as is your wont 💕
article
i know this took me forever 2 answer SORRY but i just checked off all the things on my to do list for the first time in days today so. Essay incoming ladies!
ok im SO glad u sent me this bc it’s so so good. it’s a genuinely thoughtful criticism of the politics in legend of korra (altho i think its sometimes a little mean to korra unnecessarily like there’s no reason to call her a “petulant brat” or say that she throws tantrums but i do understand their point about her being an immature and reactionary hero, which i’ll get back to) and i think the author has a good balance between acknowledging like Yeah the lok writers were american liberals and wrote their show accordingly and Also writing a thorough analysis of lok’s politics that felt relevant and interesting without throwing their hands up and saying this is all useless liberal bullshit (which i will admit that i tend to do).
this article essentially argues that the red lotus antagonists of s3 were right. And that’s not an uncommon opinion i think but this gives it serious weight. Like, everything that zaheer’s gang did was, in context, fully understandable. of course the red lotus would be invested in making sure that the physically and spiritually and politically most powerful person in the world ISNT raised by world leaders and a secret society of elites that’s completely unaccountable to the people! of course the red lotus wants to bring down tyrannical governments and allow communities to form and self govern organically! and the writers dismiss all of that out of hand by 1. consistently framing the red lotus as insane and murderous (korra never actually gives zaheer’s ideas a chance or truly considers integrating them into her own approach) 2. representing the death of the earth queen as not just something that’s not necessarily popular (what was with mako’s bootlicker grandma, i’d love to know) but as something that causes unbelievable violence and chaos in ba sing se (which, like, a lot of history and research will tell you that people in disasters tend towards prosocial behaviors). so the way the story frames each of these characters and ideologies is fascinating because like. if you wanted to write season 3 of legend of korra with zaheer as the protagonist and korra as the antagonist, you wouldn’t actually have to change the sequence of events at all, really. these writers in particular and liberal writers in general LOVE writing morally-gray-but-ultimately-sympathetic characters (like, almost EVERY SINGLE fire nation character in the first series, who were full on violent colonizers but all to a degree were rehabilitated in the eyes of the viewer) but instead of framing the red lotus as good people who are devoted to justice and freedom and sometimes behave cruelly to get where theyre trying to go, they frame them as psychopaths and murderers who have good intentions don’t really understand how to make the world a better place.
and the interesting thing about all this, about the fact that the red lotus acted in most cases exactly as it should have in context and the only reason its relegated to villain status is bc the show is written by liberals, is that the red lotus actually points out really glaring sociopolitical issues in universe! like, watching the show, u think well why the fuck HASN’T korra done anything about the earth queen oppressing her subjects? why DOESN’T korra do anything about the worse than useless republic president? why the hell are so many people living in poverty while our mains live cushy well fed lives? how come earth kingdom land only seems to belong to various monarchs and settler colonists, instead of the people who are actually indigenous to it? the show does not want to answer these questions, because american liberal capitalism literally survives on the reality of oppressive governments and worse than useless presidents and people living in poverty while the middle/upper class eats and indigenous land being stolen. if the show were to answer these questions honestly, the answer would be that the status quo in real life (and the one on the show that mirrors real life) Has To Change.
So they avoid answering these questions honestly in order for the thesis statement to be that the status quo is good. and the only way for the show to escape answering these questions is for them to individualize all these broad social problems down into Good people and Bad people. so while we have obvious bad ones like the earth queen we also have all these capitalists and monarchs and politicians who are actually very nice and lovely people who would never hurt anyone! which is just such an absurd take and it’s liberal propaganda at its best. holding a position of incredible political/economic power in an unjust society is inherently unethical and maintaining that position of power requires violence against the people you have power over. which is literally social justice 101. but there’s literally no normal, average, not-politically-powerful person on the show. so when leftist anarchism is presented and says that destroying systems that enforce extreme power differentials is the only way to bring peace and freedom to all, the show has already set us up to think, hey, fuck you, top cop lin beifong and ford motor ceo asami sato are good people and good people like them exist! and all we have to do to move forward and progress as a society is to make sure we have enough good individuals in enough powerful positions (like zuko as the fire lord ending the war, or wu as the earth king ending the monarchy)! which is of course complete fiction. liberal reform doesn’t work. but by pretending that it could work by saying that the SYSTEM isnt rotten it’s just that the people running it suck and we just need to replace those people, it automatically delegitimizes any radical movements that actually seek to change things.
and that’s the most interesting thing about this article to me is that it posits that the avatar...might actually be a negative presence in the world. the avatar is the exact same thing: it’s a position of immense political and physical power bestowed completely randomly, and depending on the moral character and various actions of who fills that position at any given time, millions of people will or won’t suffer. like kyoshi, who created the fascist dai li, like roku, who refused to remove a genocidal dictator from power, like aang, who facilitated the establishment of a settler colonial state on earth kingdom land. like korra! she’s an incredibly immature avatar and a generally reactionary lead. i’ve talked about this at length before but she never actually gets in touch with the needs of the people. she’s constantly running in elite circles, exposed only to the needs and squabbles of the upper class! how the hell is she supposed to understand the complexities of oppression and privilege when she was raised by a chess club with inordinate amounts of power and associates almost exclusively with politicians and billionaires?? from day 1 we see that she tends to see things in very black and white ways which is FINE if you’re a privileged 17 yr old girl seeing the world for the first time but NOT FINE if you’re the single most powerful person in the world! Yeah, korra thinks the world is probably mostly fine and just needs a little whipping into shape every couple years, because all she has ever known is a mostly fine world! in s1 when mako mentions that he as a homeless impoverished teenager worked for a gang (which is. Not weird. Impoverished people of every background are ALWAYS more likely to resort to socially unacceptable ways of making money) korra is like “you guys are criminals?????!!!!!” she was raised in perfect luxury by a conservative institution and just never developed beyond that. So sure, if the red lotus raised her anarchist, probably a lot would’ve been different/better, but....they didn’t. and korra ended up being a reactionary and conservative avatar who protected monarchs and colonialist politicians. The avatar as a position is completely subject to the whims of whoever is currently the avatar. and not only does that suck for everyone who is not the avatar, not only is it totally unfair to whatever kid who grows up knowing the fate of the world is squarely on their shoulders, but it as a concept is a highly individualist product of the authors’ own western liberal ideas of progress! the idea that one good leader can fix the world (or should even try) based on their own inherent superiority to everyone else is unbelievably flawed and ignores the fact that all real progress is brought about as a result of COMMUNITY work, as a result of normal people working for themselves and their neighbors!
the broader analysis of bending was really interesting to me too, but im honestly not sure i Totally agree with it. the article pretty much accepts the show’s assertion that bending is a privilege (and frankly backs it up much better than the original show did, but whatever), and i don’t think that’s NECESSARILY untrue since it is, like, a physical advantage (the author compares it to, for example, the fact that some people are born athletically gifted and others are born with extreme physical limitations), but i DO think that it discounts the in universe racialization of bending. in any sequel to atla that made sense, bending as a race making fact would have been explored ALONGSIDE the physical advantages it bestows on people. colonialism and its aftermath is generally ignored in this article which is its major weakness i think, especially in conjunction with bending. you can bring up the ideas the author did about individual vs community oriented progress in the avatar universe while safely ignoring the colonialism, but you can’t not bring up race and colonialism when you discuss bending. especially once you get to thinking about how water/earth/airbenders were imprisoned and killed specifically because bending was a physical advantage, and that physical advantage was something that would have given colonized populations a means of resistance and that the fire nation wanted to keep to itself.
i think that’s the best lens thru which to analyze bending tbh! like in the avatar universe bending is a tool that different ethnic groups tend to use in different ways. at its best, bending actually doesn’t represent social power differences (despite representing a physical power difference) because it’s used to represent/maintain community solidarity. like, take the water tribe. katara being the last waterbender, in some way, makes her the last of a part of swt CULTURE. the implication is that when there were a lot of waterbenders in the south, they dedicated their talents to building community and helping their neighbors, because this was something incredibly culturally important and important to the water tribe as a community. the swt as a COLLECTIVE values bending for what it can do for the entire tribe, which counts for basically every other talent a person can have (strength, creativity, etc). the fire nation, by contrast, distorts the community value of bending by racializing it: anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is inherently NOT fire nation (and therefore inherently inferior) and, because of the physical power that bending confers, anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is a threat to fire nation hegemony. and in THAT framework of bending, it’s something that intrinsically assigns worth and reifies race in a way that’s conveniently beneficial to the oppressor.
it IS worth talking about how using Element as a way to categorize people reifies nations, borders, and race in a way that is VERY characteristic of white american liberals. i tried to be conscious of that (and the way that elements/bending can act in DIFFERENT ways, depending on cultural context) but i think it’s pretty clear that the writers did intend for element to unequivocally signify nation (and, by extension, race), which is part of why they screwed up mixed families so bad in lok. when they’ve locked themselves into this idea that element=nation=race, they end up with sets of siblings like mako and bolin or kya tenzin and bumi, who all “take” after only one parent based on the element that they bend. which is just completely stupid but very indicative of how the writers actually INTENDED element/bending to be a race making process. and its both fucked up and interesting that the writers display the same framework of race analysis that the canonical antagonists of atla do.
anyway that’s a few thoughts! thank u again for sending the article i really loved it and i had a lot of fun writing this <3
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