#but anyway the point is sometimes i see a take online that im like '........ thats not... correct. but i cant put my figure on why.' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yourbittertarottruth · 1 month

Note

you are so cool and non judgemental to chat with, so thanks very much once again! yeah I think the whole hysteria abojt idols fs in away its intruiging from a non obsessive point of view but for those who do obsess about idols fs are going to be in for a shock whenber idols are revealed to be dating and shock horror, its not themselves.

honestly I regret not really going for it and learning a genuine skill that I could then use later on but sometimes its just matter of having opportunities or being in the right situations to actually gain those skills, for example you could go to a really shitty school and learn something amazing or you can go to a better school but have shitty classmates or teachers that are of no real use to you or courses that arent available and so on and so forth, whilst idols have to go through a lot I do think what they get to do is super cool cause when they pass on they have a legacy to be proud of. Sadly I think it just comes down to them being in the right areas or theyre from the right families who can invest so much into idols gaining their skills and talents. I have yet to really see someone from my country denut in kpop group sooooo it kind of says a lot of where kpop is heading and that they were going to smerica come what may. its just sometimes our situations are very limiting and we cant always win at everything in life either or say you might want to do something but realistically you know its slim to none chances and i think at some point it has an age limit of when you can succeed at it. So even if i wanted to do what i originslly wanted it would take many more years just to get to a good skill and even then you might not be the best at it

I also think sometimes social media makes things neither great nor bad cause people can upload their skills and really empahsis on what they want nowadahs whereas when I was a kid we were doing fuck all with our free time yaknow? kids nowadays shouldnt waste their younger years is what im saying. sometimes i think that i dont fit in with my generation cause of how screen obsessed we all have become and then i dont fit in with newer generations cause they have so many more ways of making success for themselves, im just like what can i offer? honestly not much.

thats also why i lowkey wouldnt mind passing on early just to get out of this screen world that we are in and yet older generations were never bothered with taking selfies then they wouldnt habe been able to get social validation via online, so they were probs happier and things were at least affordable back then. i kinda envy the older generations in that respect, we only got to experience a small handful of years without the pressures of social media and ever since idfk 00s or earlier it kinda went to shit really.

everyone was expected to be online and idk how i really feel about it anymore im sort of over it and modern society generally sucks. so many idols get backlash for no good reason, youtubers who dont do anything wrong get gossiped about and snark pages are endless so even if someone wants to do something amazing with their lives they cant avoid scrutiny of any sorts. its just got way out of hand and its past the point of saying well just dont use it then cause we technically need these devices constantly so ergo its not hard to not be delulu about celebs and the likes either cause its literally everywhere.

Sorry for the late response, been caught up in some important stuff recently (it's not bad stuff LMAO)!! Anyways, thank you so much! I try my best to remain open-minded of any/all perspectives before forming an opinion of my own and even so, I'm very open to hearing others opinions on these matters. Debating issues is something I genuinely enjoy, as long as it is a polite and healthy debate ofc. It is quite interesting, I'd say it has something to do with the "loneliness epidemic" (as I like to call it) of these times. We're in a time where technology is increasing rapidly and human interaction isn't as common, we're more attached to our screens than actual people and that becomes an issue when it places you out of touch with reality! The obsessions over being an FS and whatnot is genuinely awful, like fans hating on idols and their relationships have led to some couples even splitting; look at Lee Jae Wook and Karina from Aespa as our most recent example. It's never too late to try, really. You can learn any skill no matter your age as long as you can put enough effort in, remain disciplined and dedicate time to it! I think your point there is quite valid, but since technology has advanced so rapidly, you can realistically learn most skills online now by a few quick google searches, taking notes, learning and applying them practically. I think it is quite cool how idols have a legacy that'll be remembered for a while. It's something I'd want to achieve before passing on, as even though making an impact, being remembered, etc isn't a neccessity it does in a way lessen the anxiety about passing on? It makes you feel like there is a chance that people will still mention you, bring you up, that what you did could be studied or researched by other people, that your story could motivate others into getting their shit together, etc. A lot of idols aren't in the right areas or families, though. I'll use BTS as an example here; some members had extremely poor families and were from a run-down agency that could never compete with the big 3. Look at where they are now? They single-handedly built up their label, going from Bighit to HYBE. Practice makes perfect, the more you practice, the more work you put in, the better you will get at that skill! Obviously, blind optimism isn't helpful but if you take the realistic steps in place to where you want to be in the next few years now; it will happen and you will succeed. I completely agree that we, as a society, have all become too screen obsessed and I'm also guilty of this, but it is an issue. It's caused a lot of parents to just let the screen teach their kids, too. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to the world, even if you might not think so. You can do it, though! I believe in you and I'm proud of what you have done so far :] !! I had a discussion with a friend about a similar topic to this, but a lot of trends now are fueled by "nostalgia" where things looked happier and less daunting to live in. I think after 2015 is when things started to spiral, but that's my personal take. You're more than free to disagree with anything I've said!! I don't think you should force yourself to be online, stick to the trends, etc. Do what makes you happy and you'll see yourself shine brilliantly! And yeah, a lot of delusional ideals are fueled by big companies nowadays, too, since fans will obviously put more money into those celebs if they feel like they might get "noticed" - which could also be why concert tickets are getting higher and higher even for newly debuted groups. That's my take on all this, though, feel free to respond and add on, agree, disagree, etc! <33

#tarot #kpop #kpop tarot #pagan witch #future spouse #bts #freyreplies #bts army #bangtan #delulu #delusional

11 notes · View notes

threebooksoneplot · 3 months

Note

ok so this is a hypothetical scenario bc i listen to a buncha pods about books and sometimes the podcasters have Bad Takes and will b like "i think people generally think [insert bad take]" and i always want to scream and reach out to them like: no. respectfully, i luv ur pod, but shut up ur wrong, or at least to be like: if ur gonna insist on having this take at least acknowledge that there are also other takes out there pls n thanks (yall do this its gr8 im here for it!) anyway i was wondering if someone said something to that effect to you would you be like: ok noted thanks for the feedback ... or would you be like: anyway ur wrong actually bye what would ur response to this incredibly vague hypothetical scenario be?? im curious! thanks for indulging me/my curiosity lol ... ok thats all bye

I mean, I (G) feel like we've definitely done both of those things at different times! kinda depends on the take. like, does the phrase "it's not that deep" apply? then we're probably gonna go for a jokey "you're wrong" Response B. In fact, I'd say 90% of the time when we go for Response B we are joking (James did nothing wrong and Victoria should get to kill Bella as a treat.)

but in general we tryyyyyy to leave room for nuance and point out where we ourselves are biased? you guys are the best judge of whether or not we succeed at that, lol. personally I think the key is just doing what you said above, and acknowledging other takes exist. our experiences are not universal! we try to keep our finger on the pulse (haha vampire jokes) of what other fans are saying even as we acknowledge that "other fans" is a HUGE and diverse category that includes everyone from Cheryl in the Bite Me Edward facebook group who's been writing edbella fic on ff.net since 2009 to Emersyn on tiktok who saw Twilight for the first time last year to Princess Weekes, who just released a new video essay on how not all critiques of the series are bad faith vitriol.

it's also why we have guests! shannon and I are in such close agreement on most things that we knew from the start we wanted to introduce more diversity of opinions, lol.

we ourselves definitely have opinions of the reactionary "we've heard this take we disagree with one too many times online and now we can't help but rip it to shreds when it comes up" variety (stan renee for clear skin) but consider this our re-upped commitment to pointing out to the audience whenever that's the case. we know some of you guys probably like, touch grass and may not be aware of the niche online twilight discourse that poisons our brains 24/7

overall, New Moon has been a great place to build up our "acknowledge that other takes exist" muscles! it feels like every 5 pages we were both stopping to be like "well I don't find this compelling, but I can see why someone else...might...like this." it's definitely opened up my perspective to reread the books after years of being in fandom and being exposed to so many opinions.

so, yeah: it's a boring answer, but our response to the hypothetical situation would depend on the hypothetical take. we hope (and continue to work) to always leave room in our Serious discussions for other points of view!!

#asks #orri0nn

2 notes · View notes

ghostbrawl · 3 months

Note

sent the 🐯 - nono the thing is i do know you!! youre not a stranger im just... sometimes i get spooked off, from interacting so much. because sometimes i think people just hate me and only keep me around as to not make me upset :( and thats got nothin to do with you, you didnt do anything wrong. its me with my stupid thoughts and shit. i think youre really cool and i love your art and style and you seem so confident and dont give a shit about a lot of things. im intimidated by that

tried to answer this one privately and realized i couldn't because its an anon ask haha .. welp! i still want you to hear my input on this one so it's just going to be no reblog.

i'm going to put my response under the cut though for the sake of people's dashboards and because it's somewhat mushy. continue if you dare, followers - i'll be talking in depth about, like, emotions an shit.

so i sat on this ask for a while and really rolled it around my enclosure a little bit. full disclosure i need to just say for a long time i also felt this way - by that i mean feeling as though [people just hate me and only keep me around as to not make me upset] - for various reasons.

one reason was that i had experienced real world examples of this sort of coddling many times - people online and in real life would often entertain me to my face and talk about me behind my back, mostly until i got too annoying to bear and was openly lashed out at or shunned. most of these incidents occurred when i was 16 or younger, to be fair, but they did make a mark on me.

another reason was just anxiety - if i didn't know exactly what the people around me thought, it would be safe to say those thoughts were bad. it would've verified what i thought about myself- and assuming those people already hated me allowed me to empathize with the versions of my loved ones that i created in my head. i often mourned the fact that they had to deal with me before i even knew whether they were annoyed or not.

these were the two main reasons why i often felt like people hated me, but i'm sure there were more.

i don't have an EXACT read on who you are anon, though i feel like i have an idea (you don't have to tell me, but if you'd like, reach out and send me a dm) - but personally, if we know each other, and i've not yelled at you or blocked you or told you not to talk to me, there's an incredibly decent chance (99%) that i neither hate you nor think you're annoying.

if you're my next door neighbor from two years ago, i take that back. but if you aren't, keep reading!

other than in my deepest darkest worst moments, i've pretty much trained myself out of the kneejerk assumption that my friends and loved ones hate me. i'll try not to sound preachy when i talk about why, but trust me when i say i have a point here in talking about it.

anyway - here's how i stopped doing that.

#1 - i started to model my own understandings of people's attitudes toward others based on my own attitudes.

ok i know that sounds weird or isn't very easy to understand so let me just give an example.

a technique i used a lot was just thinking through how, when, and why i liked or loved my friends. i loved my friends because they have similar interests to me, because of the history we had together, because it was easy to communicate with them, because i loved their minds and ideas, because they enriched my life (even when i didn't talk to them as much), because i was excited to hear from them + learn about their life, because i cared about them and didn't want to see them sick or hurt, because they were fun to hang out with, etc. etc etc.

then, i'd think about how i felt when one of my friends messed up, was irritating, annoying, or made me angry in some way. depending on how egregious the ill was, i reacted anywhere from pretty much none at all (for most irritations or annoyances) - to 'angry in the moment, it fades later' (for high stress situations in which i had no excuses for that friend) - to 'we seriously need to work this out' (for ongoing situations in which i was building up the strength to address).

most of the time, the irritations i encountered fell into the first category. many times i couldn't even be annoyed - i loved those friends so much that it didn't even matter, either in the very second the irritation happened or in the grand scheme of things.

in the few moments that i encountered more grave irritations such as those in the last category, what usually would happen is either that me and the other person sorted out our grievances and both agreed to change our behavior, or we parted ways.... and many of the friends i parted ways with i found wanting their company again and reconnected with them.

in evaluating myself in the context of my friends, though i can never know how, when, or why my friends love me, i know for relative certainty that when i am irritating or annoying to them, it is incidental and fades just as quickly for them as it fades for me. my friends will never be as concerned with my small flaws and ills as i am - it simply doesn't affect them nearly as much as it affects me.

^ this idea is doubly true for acquaintances and people you don't know as well as to say "friends" -- at the acquaintance level people can choose whether to get closer or to drift, factoring in time, interest, hyperfixation, location, their jobs, etc.

but this first technique only worked when i had the self-esteem to internalize the fact that other people's inner worlds were both just as complex as mine (holding complex feelings about oneself and each other) and just as simple as mine (annoyed or not? and for how long? etc)!

so another thing that really helped me was

#2 - faking confidence until i could build it properly.

i know everyone says this shit and it seems so ineffectual when it feels much more grounded and real to be cynical, to be anxious and upset with oneself.

and in many senses, it IS ineffectual - immediately. faking confidence is something that only works over years of doing it, and in faking your confidence you must also identify very real parts of yourself to be Actual Confident(tm) about and work toward feeling that way for real.

faking confidence is the sandbox where i, personally, found actual things to be proud of myself for within. when i faked confidence in my voice, way of thinking, my art, and my personality, i eventually found actual things to like in each of those aspects of myself based on how people reacted to that "front" of confidence i put up about those aspects of myself.

for a while i faced an awkward phase where my faked confidence was so intense that it manifested as arrogance and aggression toward others -- avoid this if you can . facepalm emoji.

but in presenting myself as somebody who was equal (or even greater) than other people in social situations i was in, other people pointed out things to be praised about me.

at first i'd be skeptical, but i'd keep it in the back of my mind. but over time, i'd see over and over the success of those parts of myself in social situations, artistic circles, athletic contexts, etc, and start to think "maybe i am good at [x]" or "maybe [personality trait] about me is helpful and cool", and on and on and on.

confidence and self-like is a process that builds on itself and gets easier over time. the second i began to question whether traits i had were really harmful or bad, the more i started to see reinforcing evidence of the contrary; of them being productive, healthy, interesting, worth having rather than destroying.

and the further you progress in this avenue, the easier it is to #not give a shit about things - or to respond less to attacks on the psyche or personality.

and when i reinforced + gained a respect for the parts of myself i once hated, it became easier to believe that others could admire me as much i admired them - that others could brush off my shortcomings as easily as i brushed off theirs.

recently, i hate to admit, i've had to start this process of loving myself all over again as i've started to experience a major personality shift brought on by gaining different + new responsibilities in my life. i respond differently to new circumstances so many times that i'm becoming somebody different - somebody i'm not yet prepared to love. somebody that i'm much more inclined to loathe, because i've seen the effects of my new personality traits on myself and others; not in observing my own actions, but in observing the actions of people in my life with the same personality traits such as my family.

so for now my confidence in a lot of situations is much shakier than it used to be - but the foundations i created back when are still there. when i don't believe in myself or punch down on myself i can keep it relatively contained internally and not project it onto others - or if i can't avoid projecting it, i at least understand on some level that i'm being unreasonable... and i can still keep that outward confident look pretty seamlessly while working out new insecurities from within.

trust me - i give a lot of shits, and so does every other confident person you know. we just keep it to ourselves - not to say that keeping it to oneself is inherently better, but it just helps to keep oneself from spiraling into deeper and deeper self hatred. keeping that hate on the down-low keeps it from gaining significant power.

in terms of being intimidated by other confident people....

i have nothing really to say about that. i think it's something that both affirms and worries the confident person in question - to be intimidating is to be slick and cool and impenetrable. but to be intimidating is also to be impenetrable (/neg) - impossible to see the inner life of through that glare of coolness or confidence. i guess its a double edged sword, i dunno.

but i think it gets easier to see even the intimidatingly cool as dorky, regular people when you recognize that pretty much everyone has or had crappy self image at one point. people are less intimidating when you allow the idea that they too, are people who fuck up, who go through things, who break down, who hate themselves, and who are just trying their best to seem like somebody lovable and worthwhile. and do that in order to CHASE interactions with others - and that wanting those interactions doesn't reflect badly on you or them.

but idk. i get it if u don't wanna read all that.

TLDR: ur thoughts aren't stupid and we've all been there. and i'm just some tumblr user on the internet it's really not so serious or scary. i post incessantly about robot sex and wizards instead of getting groceries. and everyone is just as stupid and dorky as the worst person you know and that's totally fine.

#may archive or private or delete this post once i feel like the anon in question has seen this - sorry for the MASSIVE fucking post.

3 notes · View notes

phantomqueen · 1 year

Text

OOG u know what i havent done in a long time. an unsolicited book reviewww

dont ask me why im listening to an audiobook of fangirl by rainbow rowell. i just am. its. not terrible but its maybe a book i shouldve read when i was younger and more invested in fandom instead of now when i spend more time at rooftop punk shows & cultural food festivals. thats not a brag but like, just different priorities & opportunities that i have now

Anyway fangirl is ok i kind of dont care about the romance bc its almost Too indulgent like im not here for realism but at the same time it doesnt seem grounded enough. but yeah a golden retriever man with adhd falling for a nerdy anxious introvert whos kind of mean to him is thee pipe dream i guess

the family conflict plots are more interesting. im sorry to say i relate more to the main character's slightly inconsiderate sister who outgrew fandom ahskfdhdfkjsh. i also like totally understand that the main character has anxiety and abandonment issues and has been chronically online her whole life but sometimes she comes across as soooo naive that shes kinda childish. which is kind of the point like taking her out of her comfort zone & growing up but sometimes im like girl get a grip!!

the depiction of fandom culture was good imo. its just, People Who Enjoy This Thing A Lot! it was also interesting seeing the mc struggle with writing original fiction

anyway. its ok i guess. like this post if u think i should read books that Arent about teens writing fanfiction

#pq vs books

7 notes · View notes

nanjokei · 1 year

Text

i do think there are two opposing issues with people who got into anime in this era

lack of personal curation

but also

lack of sense of community

like people who got into anime before the pandemic, before even 2016 or 2011 or whatever respective boom, just have an entirely different take and appreciation of the culture bc it was when the community was still somewhat grass roots despite toonami and such, if it was not dubbed or licensed for home release which is most shows coming out you HAD to rely on other fans. it was a for fan by fan kind of economy (ironic im using this term). there was the small stretch of time where companies like ADV went bankrupt and it seemed like only funi made it out, i think that age was its own golden age. anime started being shown online (in japan) so raws were slightly more accessible. it was kind of a magical moment, i would have never imagined in my life that fansubbing would decline so much. i wish people didnt give a fuck about "supporting the original release" back then because look where that's gotten us (crunchyroll paying their translators peanuts anyway). like unpaid hobby work is tough, but when the sub took a day or two to come out, you sat your ass down and waited lol there was no other choice. the comm would shitpost or spoil raws or whatever it was funny

im always talking about this on other places to other people, but does anyone remember how watching anime on tumblr was like a decade ago was *resists grinding into dust at the acknowledgement that its been a decade* when it felt like people came together to watch stuff like madoka and tsuritama. i do think its an issue of there being too many anime rn and all that murky industry stuff but thats not the point. these days everyone just sees whatever is topping the charts and watches that but they dont even partake in any kind of community activity? they just grab their crunchy sub rips and watch it in isolation. thats so sad? watching the same show, the same fansub, or sometimes competing fansubs, was truly fun

people are missing out both on an elevated anime watching experience and possibly shows they could have enjoyed if they gave them a shot. its kinda sad to me...

#rambles

9 notes · View notes

awsugar · 1 year

Note

im on effexor instead of lexapro now but i still have exactly the same dream related side effects!! they’re so in depth and hours long and they’re either mundane as fuck, like i go to work or take an exam or go the supermarket and make dinner, all in real time. or they’re off the wall insane and still intensely vivid, sometimes deeply disturbing and stressful, sometimes cool, sometimes just. what the fuck is happening in my subconscious.

i had an mcr concert dream in which the venue was really shit (but had great food) and they were playing on a stage to the left of everyone, and they opened w vampire money and then gerard did a ‘magic trick’ to vanish (clearly covered by a sheet) and they brought motionless on white on stage to finish the set doing bad covers. but frank was heckling them from side stage the whole time for being cheaters (i know nothing about the marital status of motionless in white so fuck knows where this came from)

anyway this was just one facet of another very long and confusing dream. but yeah. antidepressants have some weird side effects, i often wake up tired because i feel like i’ve just been through a four hour ordeal in my mind instead of sleeping. it’s easier to lucid dream too if you’ve noticed that? hope u aren’t getting too many stress dreams, i think mine settled after a while on a stable lexapro dose <3

omfg that is so funny. and yea my last med i was on for years, saphris, gave me crazy fucking dreams but in a different way. they were way more like. idk. abstract?? like not related to real life at all. just really really bizarre and vivid. but it was moslty in the beginning of when i was taking that one, i stopped remembering my dreams nearly as much after a while. but so far on lexapro its every single night. and yea, they go on for hours. i know they say you only dream for like 15 minutes but i do not think thats true, on lexapro at least. im CONFIDENT that im dreaming for wayyyy longer than that. i did try to google to see if anyone else was talking about lexapro dreams online and i couldnt really find anything?? but i did find something that said lexapro has an effect on your dreams in which is pushes your REM cycle back to last few hours of sleep, and i totally feel like thats true because like my basic sleep schedule is set an alarm for like 9am because im being optimistic about being able to get out of bed and then i like always set an alarm for later and go back to sleep, and that time im sleeping in the morning is when im mostly having these dreams. or like sometimes both. ill have a crazy dream and wake up to my first alarm and text my friends about it and then i go back to sleep and when i wake up im like 'i had another one'.

but the lucid dream thing, yes!! i havent really had lucid dreams on lexapro yet, but i had multiple lucid dreams on saphris. again, they were more concentrated during the first couple months of me taking it. i think last week during one of my dreams though i did realize i was asleep and i decided i wanted to wake up but it was different, and i 'woke up' but it was still in the dream. like i dreamt that i woke up but i actually hadnt. if that makes sense. im actually hoping i can get to the point of lucid dreaming on lexapro though because thats something i miss. i like being able to control it like. its fun. realizing youre dreaming and have full control so you decide to hang out with mcr. LOL.

#anonymous #asks

2 notes · View notes

freakattack · 1 year

Text

So i dont talk about this often here ebcause i fear that it is hashtag cringe to take this media more seriously than it demands but i do sometimes think about what orbulons home planet might be like. I know it's irrelevant within the context of the stories hes already involved in and also will probably never come up in my own but as a freak who likes thinking about alien planets i think its fun to speculate. So anyways. What we know about orbulon is

He has an iq of 300 (allegedly) but his intelligence is in actuality either average or below average for the rest of his species. (I like to think it's below average because he's so insecure about it and it's funny. It is OK orbulon you are smart to me.)

He can shapeshift and also has no bones and can twist himself into horrible shapes. So far we are seeing a vague cephalopod parallel but i believe that ends here.

Along with shapeshifting, Orbulon can teleport, telepathy, and even telephone.

He sleeps A LOT and mentally cannot function on the comparatively small amount of sleep that humans require. This could be related to either the big brain thing and/or the fact that

Time on his planet "moves half the speed it does on earth", whether this means that the planet rotates and/or revolves twice as slowly or if time itself does some wibbly wobbly shit is unclear but given the title "time warp" and the fact that warioware is a goofy over the top series it might be the wibbly wobbly. Speaking of wibbly wobbly time

People on orbulon's planet have already developed advanced time travelling technology to the point where the average person can just have it in their car. In the online mega microgames diaries orbulon takes his oinker to dr crygor to get it fixed and dr crygor stumbles upon the time travel stuff by accident. This makes sense if everyone on orbulon's planet is smart enough to break an IQ test.

Also time-related, orbulon's species has a super long lifespan. Orbulon is about 2023 as of 2023, although he attaches his age to his "carbon matter" specifically which is clearly just because he is a pretentious ass and needs to use the most obtuse vocabulary for everything BUT i enjoy reading into things so i am going to say it is not only that deep. Which brings us to:

Things I Made Up About Orbulon

I think that his species has a weird immortal jellyfishlike life cycle where they constantly revert back to an earlier stage and renew themselves to increase their lifespan. I said this before as a joke but it actually wasnt a joke sorry. The orbulon we know is not Exactly the same orbulon that was born 2000+ years ago and sadly is also not Exactly the same orbulon that is OP in get it together. But they are all orbulon. Its complicated

I think that the sleep thing and the telepathy thing are related. The antenna is a sensory organ that is able to detect and project vaguely-defined Psychic Energies. I also think that this could be how he summoned the alien bunnies to haul ass and save him from the asteroid in the first game

I mean he also could have also morse coded them but IM NOT RULING IT OUT. Anyways

3. This isnt related to the sleep brain thing at all but while we're looking at his face i just want to throw in fhat i think a reason he wears sunglasses is to block out sun/star light. I dont think this is an uncommon game theory but im just letting you all know that i subscribe. I think that his planet is pitch dark and also that with his sunglasses he can deftly avoid eye contact not for any alien reasons but because. Well look at all these paragraphs i wrote why do you think

ANYWAYS!!!!

The sleep thing and telepathy thing are related in my brain and I think that his species can communicate with each other in the Dream Realm. (Not an actual realm im just calling it that.) i also toyed with the idea of their dreams also being a way to gradually restore past memories after metamorphosis but i think thats too complicated for this. It would be a cool idea for alien species in general but i dont want to make my silly wario comics have that much drama

Going off the dream realm thing though, I think that because they are psychic supergeniuses that communicate in dreams, the line between "individual" and "group" is very blurry compared to most human societies. Through dreams things like technology and ideas can be collaborated on infinitely by an infinite amount of minds, and in such a liminal state the sense of self tends to take a backseat to the pursuit of progress. This isn't to say they don't view themselves as individuals at all (or else orbulon wouldn't be like that) but moreso that they are highly communal and have different priorities and ways of conceptualizing themselves. Think ants.

Now, orbulon has CONFIRMED at least 16 friends on his home planet, which is frankly an obscene amount of friends to be able to have in your 2020's. Personally I think it's hard to cobble together a vibrant social life after your 1300's but what do i know. But anyways, i think that even extremely close-knit "friend groups" in orbulon's planet tend to average in the double digits and even dip into the triple digits just because of the way their minds and culture work. Dunbar's number ceases to be an issue when you are a psychic genius that can mind meld with everyone on the planet.

i think orbulon genuinely likes the people he grew up with, and that they like him, but even though he had those friends I personally think he was probably a bit of a misfit even on his home planet. The fact that he is SO insecure even among earthlings and the fact that he left and didn't return to his home planet for at least a thousand years tips me in that direction. Earth would have been a huge culture shock for him even if he knew about it ahead of time, but I think that finding a group of fellow weirdos that he can be himself around was more than worth the adjustment.

#can you tell i have work i need to be doing right now #orbulosting

5 notes · View notes

zwampy · 2 years

Text

sometimes i think about in depth blogging about my feelings and life and i dont know what worth it would have but . hoo.

im so tired of being eternally broke, but i always will be. like the only way i get about to anything cool is by the grace and pity of others. i see other people in nice new clothes, TRAVELLING... TRAVELLING... taking photos on their brand new phones, with friends, and its VERY HARD not to feel bitter and down. or like, i see people making jokes i made, but nobody heard, and it’s nobody’s fault i have a small social circle and outreach, but seeing 100s of people go haha about something you said already a long time before you’re like... oh my god Lord throw me a bone now maybe

anyway i do count my blessings i really do i TREASURE the little good things that happen to me, TREASURE, but also it’s exhausting constantly keeping back the “you know, it could be a lot better than this” thoughts

i think i need to severely limit seeing accounts from people who have rich families or just got lucky or whatever. like im always thinking about how we’re all struggling, even if you “got lucky” it’s like... why would you stop talking about the horrific inequalities or sharing charities or talking about our garbage cities its ???

like i saw a news article in the related of something else i was reading, and it was like “[influencer/youtuber idk] explains why they moved to LA” and im like... uh... because theyre rich now? why would they move to a people hostile dogshit traffic choked city? because its LA and thats where influencers go now that theyre rich? why doesnt every single other person make a pained face seeing that. dont you cringe? why arent you cringing?

everything loops back to city building and walkable cities for me apparently. this is a ramble. im just keeping myself from getting too down :^( its hard. i know you understand. no point falling into the pit though, but i do feel this absurd need to clarify myself to strangers online like “BTW... I DONT HAVE A LOT OF MONEY... I TREASURE EVERY GOOD THING THAT COMES MY WAY... IF WE ALL HAD MORE MONEY WE WOULD CERTAINLY BE HAPPIER... ALL THESE POSTS I MAKE I’M SELF AWARE... IF YOU SEE ME SOMEWHERE PRETTY, I’M THINKING THE WHOLE TIME “HOW BLESSED I AM TO BE HERE”... I CAN’T BE LIKE YOU, IF YOU’RE WEALTHY, I’M NOT LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE YOU, AND YOU SHOULD COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, AND BE GENTLE TO OTHERS AND GIVE WHEN YOU CAN, BECAUSE YOU ARE PRIVILEGED”

im not re-reading this. life has been hard! not going into details lol. i just need to cosmically reach out to strangers online sometime to go “we’re struggling, right? we don’t have money like some people do, and we’re never gonna. let’s stay strong, at least i’m not struggling alone”

tattoo on my forehead that says “ a lot of bad things happened to me and some continue to happen so don’t compare yourself to me because we are only barely the same species, it’s not fair and we did not run the same race”

hmmm... let’s hope we get a little luckier soon

image reward for reaching this point

3 notes · View notes

tears-of-boredom · 7 months

Text

how do you deal when someones not on a base level a bad person, but they're so god damn judgemental, while acting like its just a silly quirky thing. I just. im so frustrated listening to my mom complain about her work and school stuff, because so often it stops being just general "work tiring, school annoying", and starts being "our schooling group today had some, lets say, more special students", "one of the students had never used a laptop before, can you believe it!" and just, every complaint seems to be directed at a singular person.

and god, sometimes when im in the backseat of our car and my eldest sibling and mom are at the front, it is just so fucking obvious how they are feeding into each other judgey-ness. one will point out a random pedestrian for like, wearing a fedora, and then they both just kind of laugh about it like fucking high schoolers. and I don't want to say anything, because anytime i do, it has had no effect at all, and plus,, if thats what it takes for my sibling to have an alright relationship with a parent figure, i cant bring myself to make it more difficult. but like, 1. i feel really shitty having to listen to their judgemental comments, and 2. i feel like im kind of obligated to keeo trying to get through to them, cuz im probably one of the people that both of them might listen to,,, but even that would probs be just because they feel guilty for making specifically me feel bad,,, cuz they probably both see me as the sensitive baby of the family.

also my mom uses english too much. shes like the typical usa suburban white mom, with all the "live laugh love" shit. and its all in english. and for some reason it really fucking annoys me. because she literally herself has said that she isnt the best at the language. so why are you using it for things like, the random bag next to the laundry machine that has "rags" written on it. and she just has a weird relationship with english anyways, always flaunting to people that "in our house english is kind of like a second language", when that is just not true. none of us use english in speech like, ever. its only used to either mockingly do a yank accent, or when the finnish language literally doesnt have an equivalent word for something. but it is in no way used frequently enough to be considered a second language of the house. for me and my brother individually? maybe. but for both of us the usage is very much limited to online spaces and the media we consume.

#i lost my train of thought #tearful stuff

0 notes

vamossainz55 · 8 months

Note

Yeah, no doubt Charles gets his share of hate, in fact every driver does, more or less, I was just talking specifically about Carlos. I’d never fault Charles for what people do online, he’s not responsible for them. I do kinda wish ferrari would speak up and ask everyone to stop trying to create a rift between Charles and Carlos but that’s very unlikely to happen, in fact it might enrage people even more haha

It’s always, always the same type of people hating drivers, some of them even basically admit they find it fun to be mean which absolutely baffles me. To each their own I guess.

Carlos in his Mclaren era was a delight, that combination of his own decision to be more himself than he was before (like he said in some interview) and also being paired up with Lando who instantly connected with him worked really well. To me it seems like Carlos needs a much more lighthearted environment to thrive in it, and Ferrari are really far from that… like, being a Ferrari driver puts a certain label on you that you have to be more put together, since it’s a team with such history. Ferrari as a whole need to unclench, stop living off their past victories and truly move forward if they want to be the winning team again. Idk, that’s just how I see things, there’s too much focus on the past, on their legacy, and it’s hurting them more than helping

Anyway, the fact that Tifosi were totally behind Carlos from the moment the weekend started until the very end was really heartwarming ahhh I think the support from everyone was one of the factors why it all went so well for him because ngl, at times this year it seemed like he’d lost some confidence in himself. Hopefully I’m wrong or that it’s all resolved now if I’m not. If only the car was good enough to fight for wins 😭

I guess I’m in a rant mood as well haha, feel free to tell me to stop spamming you 🫶

waaah ! i hope you didnt take it any wrong way- didnt mean you specifically with the charles hate, its just something thats been a bit more conscious in my mind recently and i just wanted to let it out. but yeah, charles is the last person responsible of the hate ofc. i actually prefer ferrari saying nothing about it, i do think itll make matters worse and ultimately ferrari need to fix themselves first 😂.

but yes its usually the same type of people and sometimes its just so so embarrassing. like i get second hand embarrassment sometimes seeing some the things people post to hate on the driver, i just don’t understand how some of them can lack self awareness. ive also been blocked by some accounts on tumblr even though ive never said anything about their fav or interacted w them (infact i love their fav too) but maybe ita cause im a carlos account haha.

mclaren era was so so beautiful i miss it so dearly and i get saddened that he isnt there anymore but ultimately i do think ferrari was a good mood. even though it hurts and sucks ita good that carlos is outside of his comfort zone and that he needs to push his elbows out a little but i agree with all your points, ferrari does need to get off the highhorse theyre on (pun not intended 😂) and reflect as to why they arent performing and the type of environment they have. i do think theyre the team thats stuck in old ways, they need to innovate and think outside the box myb idk.

as for carlos this year and his confidence- i think last year really took a toll on him but hes much more confident in himself this year in terms of consistency. hes back to his old self and i think even though the car isnt performing as good hes still pushing the limits whilst being aware of when to stop. but if its the case where hes missing a bit of confidence still i really hope he finds it after monza. we all are really rooting for him. the car and where its at is a pity, but im hoping both charles and carlos just need this breather this season and in some miraculous way the car will catch up next year.

also do not apologize for the rant, i wrote a whole essay i think 😂. but im enjoying this so dont worry your little pretty head about it

#nik rambles #vamossainz55 answers #anon <3 #chismes con nik !

0 notes

lanadelreyscokewhor3 · 2 years

Note

OK RANDOM RANT FROM DALIA bc here is the only place i feel like i can do that

anyways todays rant is about my online best friend

we’ve known each other for over a year and we’re super close but EVERY FUCKING TIME her ex comes back from the dead she starts basically ghosting me and i’m pissed off bc it’s like the third time it happens.

her and this ex got together for the first time last november i think and they’ve broken up and gotten back together a minimum of 5 times before finally breaking it off in february/march this year.

now the ex is back and wanted them to date again but my best friend told her that she wants to stay friends for now BUT SHE IS BSCK TO SIDE TRACKING ME AND ONLY TALKING TO HER AND I’M SO MAD BC I CANT I HATE HER EX AND JUST UGHHH

this may sound petty bc like it’s her life she can be with who she wants but that woman hurt her before and i’m fairly sure she’ll do it again and i don’t want to see my best friend get hurt but it’s her life, her decision, her mistake if worse comes to worst.

but i just wish she wouldn’t IGNORE ME LIKE SHE IS RN bc after over a year of knowing each other she’s become a constant in my life and i’m pretty fuckinh sad to KNOW that she’s ignoring me rn 🕺 so yeah

and about covid i’m feeling a lot better rn, my fever is gone and rn I only have a cough and a lil cold :)

oh thats so shitty. like so, so shitty. she shouldnt be ignoring you, and be putting you on the back burner. thats so not right on her part, espically if you guys are close

ur right about it being her life so its "her decision" but its the wrong one. you really cant do anything about that, and im so so happy you are mature enough to understand that. we cant take on other peoples problems all the time and we cant always help them if they keep making the ame dumb decison. they gotta learn at some point. they gotta.

its so not fair shes ignoring you. a friend wouldnt do that, no matter what their relationship status is. im so so sorry thats happening to you, and i would maybe bring it up with her if you havent. doesnt have to be rude, and i know its easier said then done. i dont like engaging in any form of drama, but sometimes you just gotta speak ur mind in a sorta friendly way. maybe a "hey, i kinda feel unimportant in ur life rn, are we still ok? are we still on decent terms?" maybe just be vocal about it when the time is right

and im happy about the covid situation!! hopefully you feel tip top shape soon. sending love honey, and you always have a safe place to rant here. im glad you know you can!!

#claire asks #my baby dalia

1 note · View note

jxpcloud · 2 years

Text

sad nerd that complains alot (manuscript)

(main cam-right infront of me) i didnt think i had a future

(far off) that was sad and we arent even five seconds in

(main cam) okay yeah fair

( far off) make a joke

(main cam) *dramatic silence* your mum...im so sorry

i wont lie i am no where near whatever a complete life is and feeling completely satisfied with myself i dont even know who i am and what im living for and yet i am dawned with the fact i need to live and become something. okay so thats bullshit right? im seventeen and any adult will completely dismiss my feelings for i am just a child. and i am, im scared to talk to srangers and get anxiety cross the road. i still hold my dads hand

(far off) thats because you have issues

(main cam) the point is im a child and a "mid life crisis" is something i have been told im no where near. but im also forced to get a job and drive a car and i have to actually think about my future. by the way 17yo should not be on the road most dont know the difference between their, there and theyre and barely look whie crossing the road and youre trusting your life with them? no thanks thats too much for me. so what am i feeing? well just the exerstential dread that my life wont amount to anything and everything i do is completely useless. im not insainly good at anything nor a child prodagy and i need medication in order to function cause this happens when i dont

(imput me chopping off my hair)

(far off) that was dumb

(main cam) im just trying to do something creative while i feel like my world crumples around me and channel something interesting....maybe

a guide to being happy from a sad nerd that complains alot

firstly take your meds

(far off) you are a mess without them

(main cam) like the true incel i am i dont know what true happiness is, i get that seritonin from seeing cute cats online or post nut i dont really feel happy ever *long puse* christ that was dark. anyway wiki how is a great place it comes with pictures *moan*

creating a positive mindset

*while i talk create a comfy bed setting* view your mind like a home, not so much as a mind palace like the hippy dippy inspirational people say but like a cozy atmosphere. youd want it to be comfy and happy filled with cuddly soft teddies and fair lights and its fragil. then a boldozer kinda just kills it and thats every negative self talk "im ugly, im gross, they hate me, im never going to do anything in my life, i am the worst" you spent so much time building your little home for yourself to ruin it. you can re-build. what i was told when i was younger was that those sort of things make you stronger, like when you were too little to be mean or hurt yourself but others did, they were the ones ruining your little home, maybe it did make you stronger, maybe you were able to re-build better than before. but maybe you didnt want to, you didnt care and now that your older you still dont care and your the one hurting yourself. i think it takes alot to truly admit you are the cause of your own sadness. be nice to yourself, you woke up, its enough.

(far off) that was sappy

(main cam) its weirdly important, and once you maybe clean up your cozy mind palace youll clean your physical space *rips blankets to reveal cups and plates* it was a mistake getting a bigger bed i can just hide things now

(far off) you are disgusting

(main cam) no i am healing *please dont do this purposely there is a weird smell*

being your best self

(main cam) what the ever loving fuck does that mean. my best self? the best self my friends want? the facade i put on at family gatherings? or truly accepting myself for who i am

(far off) obviously that one

(main cam) listen, not to get too trauma dumpy, i dont know who i am. this has been the stuggle for a while. what makes me me? how am i a person? how do i have thoughts and feelings as a clump of cells aimlessly floating around and drinking an unhealthy amount of caffeen alright what is that. sometimes it scares me that i am infact a human with thoughts and feelings cause i spend so much time pusinging them away that when my own cat decided to cuddle with me the overwheling amount of feelings is not normal. im the one you chose? you want to be with me? my presence makes you happy? this is safe to assume it doesnt just go for my cat but here we are. anyway, what makes me me, in order to accept it, i need to understand it. to put it simply, im not a girl, big shock, im also gay, bigger shock. men MMMMM but when im a man MMMM the gender euphoria chef kiss man muwah that shit good. what else is there? our society is so obsessed with sex and gender and dont get me wrong im proud to be surrounded by queer activists cause its important but who am i? who are you? who is anyone but npcs just kinda existing in my fabricated world ive cuccooned myself in.....but i have a cool ass sword so am i better than you?yes unless you have two cool ass swords

(far off) you scumbag

(main cam) im not here to tell you who you are or what you like. you may not even know it but deep down you get excited by bubbles, or that game youre weirdly obsessed with or maybe you have an actual hobby that makes you go outside, nether the less its there, obvious or not you are a person on this earth and you will enjoy something even if its my little pony porn i dont know but you like something. and to be your best self just chill and do more of what you like cause honestly if you dont like it its not worth it, life is too short. dont make it shorter, learn from someone who tired...i havent found happiness yet but i deserve to take up space and use it however i want, im living out of spite for the moment, whatever works

live your truth

socail media is a great place, but it influences how you feel, after touturing myself online for years i have finally accepted this. it is self destructive behavour to look at things online and be sad. does this mean im going to quit the internet and live my truth in a little forest and be the goblin boy ive always dreamed of no i like it too much and honestly my sensory issues could not with dirt, i need a weighted blanket to sleep i am quite needy. but living my truth means social media breaks arent jsut things for children. and maybe going to sleep at a normal hour and stop playing so much video games and go outside but one step at a time. i want to truly make myself feel happy and doing the mundane tasks that come with that which i do often neglect. due to poor mental helth, wich circles back to having poor higene and makes me feel crappy and its an endless loop really. but whats important is that you woke up today and really thats what matters

0 notes

caleiiiii · 4 years

Text

mcytbers as subway workers because i work at subway and i said so

i wrote this all at like 1 am im sorry

subway terminology (at least where i work)

waste out -means an item cant, or isnt, being sold, like overbaked cookies or expired milk. gets written down on a list for tax returns or smth

freezer pulls -pulling items from the freezer to the walk in fridge so they can thaw for the upcoming days

POS system -the software used for ringing up food, has a bunch of options per type of sandwich

generally 2 shift rotations , each one has a shift lead which is ur main opener or closer

characters

dream

makes sandwiches so fast.

how ???

he wraps the sandwiches immaculately as well

definitely a main closer

george

just. disappears during a rush

only to be found two hours later STILL doing dishes

dream and sapnap are not pleased.

sapnap

convinces dream to waste out bread for him so he can eat it

gives ppl he likes free cookies

terrible at wrapping sandwiches

tommy

always works with wilbur and tubbo. always.

he HATES freezer pulls but if he has to he can be seen SPRINTING between the freezer and the fridge

also bad at wrapping sandwiches

does all the online orders for tubbo because he cant read them well

tubbo

loves to bake the bread and cookies

got a complaint once because he read an online order wrong so tommy always does them

hates ringing people up but loves to make the sandwhiches

technoblade

only works like 1 shift a week but its the most goddamn productive shift of anyone.

always makes sure they are selling potato soup when hes working

another main closer

wilbur

always controls the radio in the store

always works with tubbo and tommy, drives them to work

bribes others so he doesnt have to do the dishes

main opener

philza

the manager

super chill about scheduling

turns a blind eye to people “accidently” dropping cookies and wasting them out

niki

a goddess at baking the bread and cookies

never burns anything ever

everybody wants to work with her shes so nice

fundy

is really good at ringing those ppl up with 28372 coupons

horrible at making sandwiches tho

the only one that knows how to fix the soda machine when it breaks

quackity

always gets asked to translate the writing on the boxes since its in spanish 95% of the time

loves stocking the milk cooler so he can take home the expired sodas n shit

always forgets to remind customers when stuff costs extra

schlatt

that one transfer from another store that does everything

slightly wrong.

its been long enough now that he should know better but nobody wants to correct him.

eret

has tons of pins on his hat, 10/10

really good at making the wraps

always says hello when customers enter

karl

the new hire

immediately taken under sapnaps wing, much to the chagrin of dream

much more bread is now wasted out.

bbh and skeppy

regulars that are just. always there

they know all the employee gossip and get discounts on food

phil is .5 seconds away from asking them if they want a job

normal shift schedules

wilbur, tommy, tubbo (day shift)

dream, george, sapnap (night shift)

eret, niki, fundy (day shift)

technoblade, quackity, schlatt (night shift)

karl mainly works with the dteam, but jumps around

random things

the cookie incident

once tubbo accidently overbaked like 2 dozen cookies

so he and tommy ate all of them during their shift

they did not come into work the next day.

dream and techno rivalry

dream and technoblade have a rivaly about who can close and leave the store the quickest

eventually they decide to time themselves and race eachother on their respective shifts

techno wins with a time of 3 minutes before theyre officially allowed to close.

they both get yelled at by phil

technoblade’s only mistake

the only mistake technoblade has made ever was accidently leaving the bread cabinet open overnight

wilbur, tubbo, and tommy find it in the morning and have to throw all the bread out

tommy and tubbo split the bread and each leave with a garbage bag full of subway bread

wilbur still wont let techno live it down.

hacker things

once fundy hacked the POS system to give him a 100% discount

used it for about a month before someone (quackity) accidently pressed the option and snitched to phil

luckily, he just sighed and reset the system

cookie dough

wilbur comes up with the idea to pop raw cookie dough in the microwave and eat it half baked

phil comes in one day only to make -direct eye contact- with tommy as he and tubbo lick cookie dough off of some deli paper

allows it to happen as long as they pay for the dough

subway garlic bread

on a really slow day niki and eret are goofing off and create

~subway garlic bread~

it instantly becomes a secret menu favourite among employees and regulars

the bet

once skeppy bet quackity and schlatt that they wouldnt start a fake argument during rush hour

skeppy recorded the whole thing

technoblade can be seen in the backround silently making sandwiches as quackity and schlatt scream at eachother about if quackity has a “flatty patty”

phil tries to be mad but sees all the tips they made and lets is slide

sacrifices

george is the one always sacrificed to deal with the crabby middle aged moms

its his punishment for not helping during the rush.

torture

sometimes for fun wilbur takes his meal break right before the dinner rush

tommy stares at him in fury the whole time.

betting pool

none of the employees can tell if bbh and skeppy are dating

its to the point that they keep a betting chart on a white board next to the “top failure of the week” spot

subway ghost

after a few freak instances wilbur is positive that the subway is haunted and convinces phil to let him do a séance after hours

he manages to convince half the staff that the store is haunted

(the ghost is drista or smth idk aksjdhajk)

top failure of the week

a tally on the white board in the back room of who dropped/wasted out thw most items

sapnap has the record top failure of the week, dropping a total of 42 loaves of bread in a week

schlatt got put on the board once. never again.

enamel pins

tubbo finds a enamel pin of a bee that he puts on his visor

its not technically allowed but phil lets him do it anyway :)

bandanas

tommy and tubbo take subway bandanas from the back room and initial them before trading with eachother

nobody comments that theyre not technically allowed to have a hat and a bandana

the war

at some point a rivalry breaks out between the day staff

wilbur, tommy, tubbo, niki, eret, and fundy

and the night staff

dream, sapnap, george (techno, karl, schlatt, and quackity stay out of it)

what starts out tame eventually leads to workers purposely messing up stuff for the next shift to deal with, like not stocking the fridge or mopping the floor

at some point eret switches to the night shift

the day shift does not take it well.

after about 2 weeks phil is forced to step in as the store quality starts to go downhill

he closes the store for a day and makes everyone clean it u

techno watches from outside the windows with a bag of popcorn

pogway

tommy starts placing the stickers they use to wrap sandwiches everywhere with the words “pogway” on them

everyone can tell its his handwriting but no one can catch him placing the stickers

phil even checked the cameras, still no trace of him

subway gun

sometimes tommy goes around spraying others with a spray bottle full of water used on the bread

he calls it the “subway gun”

wilbur gets fed up hides it in the freezer overnight

thats all for now! if i come up with anything else i might add it lol

EDIT PART 2 IS NOW OUT

#mcyt #mcyt au #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #tubbo #philza #technoblade #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #karl jacobs #niki nihachu #fundy #eret #quackity #jschlatt #mcyt subway au

2K notes · View notes

thithesandofferings · 3 years

Text

Shopping with Raian

Raian x Reader

TW 18+ MDI

Jealousy sex, dirty talk, Raian...being Raian, terrible food puns- please read at your discretion. semi-public sex- heavy petting.

Normally a shopping trip would be one of the highlights of your weeks but this time has been one of the most draining trips you've ever taken. Raian had been wanting you to help him with his new diet for sometime now so all that was left was to get the proper foods.

"I really dont understand why i HAVE to be here when you get the shit!...you know what to get right?"

"The reason you're here is because everytime i restock your fridge with health foods you dont EAT them. They go bad or ohma comes over and eats em for you-"

"...how'd you-"

"YES I KNOW"

"Ohma that fucking niko style bitch...can't wait to crush him this match"

"Not with your current diet you won't"

"And whats wrong with my-" You stopped suddenly and faced him, admittedly on your tip toes but not the point right now.

"Dont you DARE call the slop you eat on a daily...healthy" you glared at him. "Its nothing but junk, sugars and protein. I understand you're literally part demon but you need to take better care of your health sooner or later"

"Y-yeah thats all i need...come on dont-the demon in me got this kitty" he backed back from your threatening gaze. You let out an exasperated sigh and continued on with the shopping, leaving Raian with a confused look on his face.

You were moving to the next aisle when suddenly a hand tapped your shoulder. "...yes Raian- oh..hello"

"Um hello, sorry for bothering you but i was just wondering if you can point me in the direction of the olives" the strange man asked.

"Oh i believe thats two aisles down" you pointed.

"Ah ok. Thank you."

"You're welcome" you said turning on your heels to continue down your aisle

"..i mean ive been lost for a hot minute" he continued

"Oh" you faked a laughed and then attempted to walk away again.

"Its for this new recipe i saw online...yeah its main ingredient is olive so...you can't have it without the olives. The main star am i right?" He laughed "Y..yeah...yeah you're right. Anyways good luck with your dish"

"Oh i should probably let you go huh. Sorry for talking up olive your time" he laughed again 'Oh lord please save me' you cried internally. And just as he was about to open his mouth another time he stopped just as suddenly. His whole face went pale and mouth gaped open. Come to think of it the aisle also got darker...

"Oi!" a loud voice boomed from the back of you 'RAIAN..THANK GOODNESS. Well he's not an angel but still'

You turned around only to be met with eyes darker than the night sky, he was practically steaming...oh shit he's pissed...

"Now...i know shes too nice to say it to you but me? I dont give a fuck! So how about you and your lame ass, corny ass puns get to your olives olive boy. Cause im feeling very eggcited to beat your fucking ass right now!"

He gripped the trolley in the front of you, maybe a little to tightly, bending the metal as if it was silicone.

"YE-S SiR..SORRY SIR!!" And with that he ran off

"Wooow that guy almost pissed himself. Im surprised you actually held back, the last guy you almost punched him across the road" you laughed.

"I honestly tried to leave but goodness he just wouldnt-" Your words were suddenly cut off by Raian lips covering yours. He dragged you closer as his tongue dominated your mouth. His grip tightened as he bit down on your bottom lip, causing you to gasp into the kiss.

"-shut up" he snarled His hand slowly slid downwards cupping one of your ass cheeks completely and squeezing almost to the point of pain. With Raian everything was almost pain inducing but oh was that pain sweeter than anything else.

The way his hands moved along your body as if it was made for him and however he saw it fit to be used. Used. Thats what your purpose was in moments like these. When he kisses you breathless, when he pushes out those lewd reactions out of your body, the way he can easily have you twisting and turning...eagerly awaiting any further ministrations from his hands...or mouth...or tongue...or-.

You felt your back firmly pressed against the shelves now and as his knee parted your thighs and rubbed up against your now wet panties. His thighs...those muscular thighs... thighs that destroyed faces, broke teeth, drew blood and took the wind out of people. Yet here you are just wanting to straddle the deadly appendage and just ride it until you climaxed....which felt pretty soon alREADY!!

A wonton moan escaped your mouth once he broke the kiss. Before you knew it, you were literally dry(well not so dry) humping his thigh, your wet heat begging for friction or movement.

"Always so eager for me huh...so eager for what i wanna do to you...to this body.." he growled in your ear.

You were at the mercy of this man...this demon. Right where he wants you... "Who do you belong to?...answer me now! Tell me who this fucking wet pussy belongs to"

"...mmmm..i..it...b-you" He slides a hand in the front of him and rubs along the dampened spot between your legs.

"Mmmmmm and who made you so wet kitty? Your pants is basically soaked... have you no shame? Hm?....humping my thigh like a bitch in heat...i should fucking take you now... right in this aisle. Somebody could walk in on our little scene any moment now...you're lucky i dont want no one else seeing this fucked out expression on your face right now."

And just as suddenly he removed himself, almost causing you to fall over. Your legs was jelly, your pants was literally soaked and who the fuck knows if people didnt walk pass your little scenario just now.

"Ahhhhh just kill me now...what if someone sawwww....i...i should just melt into the ground.. please..."

"Come on lets go, as soon as were done here i'll help you with that little....problem"

"A PROBLEM YOU CAUSED" He simply shrugged

"Not my fault that slim dick was trying to talk to something of mines....you know i dont take sharing very well" he smirked.

-Krissy

#Kure Raian #raian x reader #raian headcanons #kengan ashura #kengan omega #kengan headcanons

204 notes · View notes

sunshiinekisses · 2 years

Text

Sometimes it feels like i dont have anything to say to anyone, yet im exploding for anyone to have a stimulating conversation with me. Do we have anything in common, or do i just take care of you? Do we have conversations or is it forced small talk? distant friends who live together and touch. Then again the touch isnt even that good. Maybe for you, maybe i make you feel loved. Thats what ive always been good at, making people feel loved. I will take care of you, fiercely love you even if i dont know you and you dont deserve it. Its like scattering flower petals as i walk. sure its lovely to look at but the flower had to die to give you the petals. Plucked, cut up, and used for such small satisfaction.

While driving today i reflected on myself as i often do. this time more inquisitive than judgmental. Do i have any hobbies and what are they? Im still pondering this question. Cleaning? Watching movies? Getting high? What do i really even do? Who would be interested anyways? What is so stimulating about me? Sure i have a lot of things i want to do. I want to find my medium in art and i want to create something. I want to have a garden and i want to have house plants. I want to go to parks and go on walks and have a dog and live life, but what do i do instead? nothing. Maybe ill read into something i see online, or watch a video essay on youtube, that doesnt mean i am i smart, and that doesnt mean i even retained any of that information,

i know the “it girl” thing is trending and is also already very broken down. This isnt some riveting thing that im thinking about. I just thought that by 25 i would have done something for myself, maybe had some sort of routine, something to keep me healthy. Do i even have passion? I often find myself dreaming and imaging that i am already “ that girl “ and that i will one day stumble into that life, like it will just magically happen. I will be in love with everything i do, I will love life and my partner and life will feel the way it does when i romanticize it.

Am i held back? I have goals and i know that i am capable of doing things by myself, i get more things done that way. I do the things i want to do when im alone. I dont feel as stuck.

Stuck.

If i leave this i will have no one and no where anymore. we are so intertwined. Who would hear me, who would love me or invite me without you? Really im just a plus one. Im the shadow,. It reminds me of the first time i ever went to a party and the guy who took me (who onlt took me bc he wanted to fuck me, not becuase me knew a single thing about me at all) shushed me every time i spoke. he wanted me to be background noise. Later in the night, while we were walking home, i asked him if he realized he had been shushing me. “Oh im so sorry!” he exclaimed. I still fucked him. I still took care of him. I got sushed in return.

the point of this was to get it all out and it feels like i have but not in a good way. It feels like ive got what was flooding me out but i didint get to feel the good part. where is my release? and maybe one would say that this is just the top layer of healing. and you have to keep going, but i understand what i have done to myslef i have done the deeper healing i know what im doing. I choose peoeple who will never fully love me bc they dont fit with me, because they will always choose something or someone else over me. Beacuase i choose people who need help bc i need someone to help me. but i refuse to help myselkf or let anyone help me. i refuse to ask, i cant even physically ask for it. i wont even move my lips to ask someone to stop the car to go to the bathroom for chirst sake, Im a sham of a strong person and i wish someone would see that and just take care of me and give mw the love that i give everyone else. i want someone to hold me, i want someone to write me love letters and that thiks im funny and wants to have conversations and take pictures of me and thinks im their muse and i want the love to see im movies and read about im books but i cant even make it it work.

am i unlovable bc i dont even love myself? i just want to be seen and heard by you, i want you to know how much i love tou and i want you to love me that much back.. please love me that much back..

12 notes · View notes