My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

I feel lied to. This is where the bugs bunny NO meme cokes from

Got to see Hadestown for the first time ever today (and it was amazing oh my god I had no idea what I was missing) and I'd just like to give a shout out to the poor soul in the audience who had clearly never heard the myth of Orpheus before, because when Orpheus turned around at the end the audience was dead silent except for this one very audible gasp of "no!" from somewhere in the crowd. And after Euridyce was gone and Orpheus dropped to his knees in grief, all anybody --cast, audience, the uncaring gods, etc -- could hear was muffled weeping from the same person

IM SCREAMING

I got a mental health wellness app and decided my first entry was going to be about a videogame I played that day

Your vibe is oddly bitter and reeks of insecurity

sounds like someone needs to go in the water

The inherent homoeroticism of kissing the cheek of the man you are about to betray

"Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order."

“Nobody’s going to want to sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours to get from New York City to LA.”

Me. I will sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours. I’ll sit on it for days. I’ll write and read and nap and eat and then do it all over again. I’ll stare out the windows and see America from ground level and not have to drive. I’ll see the Rockies and the deserts and cornfields and the Mississippi River and your house and yours and yours too. I’ll make up stories in my head about the small towns I see as we go along. I’ll see the states I’ve yet to see because driving or flying there is a fucking slog and expensive to boot. I’ll enjoy the ride as much as the destination. And then I’ll do it all over again to come the fuck home.

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

if were all catpeople there would be trans catboy forums devoted to how to dye over calico markings so you can pass better and another group of trans catboys who insisted that the only way to deal with it is to normalize catboys having calico markings. the discourse would be insane

Both were filled at the same time with the same water, only one had oysters.

Sylvia Plath

theory 1: baseball curses are real bc look what happened to the cubs and the red sox

theory 2: baseball curses are fake bc no one has ever cursed the yankees

theory 3 (synthesis): no one has successfully cursed the yankees bc they employ a cadre of dark wizards