#but anakin has never met a healthy emotion in his life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hanasnx · 2 years

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YOOOO THE LISTENER TAKING ANAKIN'S VIRGINITY YOU'RE SO RIGHT

I'm glad you liked the audio and I loved what you had to say about it!!! Because yes, this absolutely the start to a beautiful affair between them (I too do not condone cheating even though it's hot). But for it to start this way, for Anakin to even send this holomessage in the first place is like... It's so on the ball for his personal brand of buck wild. Because we know Anakin, and we can hear his thinly veiled pain bubbling under the surface, he so very obviously sounds hurt, betrayed, discarded like nothing, and we know that he feels all of those emotions tenfold for a multitude of reasons (hormones, midi-chlorians, repression, his insecurity etc), but he also has that cockiness that he puts on because he knows he's powerful, and he knows he gives good dick, it's such a funny juxtaposition. Like bby you're so messy, why did you ever think you could have a fwb 😭

-👑

“like bby you’re so messy..” THATS SO TRUE LMFAOOO “so on the ball for his personal brand of buck wild” ANONNN 💀💀

he feels too damn much, everything’s heightened yes. and everything is a funny juxtaposition. i love how u said he’s thinly veiling all those negative feelings BUT HES GOTTA PUT ON COCKINESS COS HE KNOWS HES POWERFUL AND HES GOT GOOD DICK SJJDKSD she’ll be back. even taking his virginity she thought i was a good fuck. and every time after that too. surely, no one can be better than i am for her (eerily similar to listening to palpatines praises, and letting it become his truth that he was a more powerful/better jedi than most)

also no one ever taught him how to form healthy relationships istg 🫠 he can’t keep his boxes apart.

master kenobi? you mean father figure and master.

palpatine? you mean other father figure and chancellor.

the reader? you mean my fwb and also the person i expect to constantly be in my life and never be unfaithful kinda like a gf— no wait no that’s wrong. let me call her.. just to hear her voice

like there was no point in this man’s life that he was “okay”. he’s always been this “villain” under wraps because he’s a product of his environment. that’s the nature of the chosen one i suppose. he’s infatuated with padme in the movies, falling in love with the idea of her rather than the actual person (i say that because he’d already decided he loved her when he’d first met her. like the first person to show him kindness was suddenly his hearts desire—) and i think they wrote it that way on purpose? because i feel like there’s a lot of instances in TCW where he tries to control her and her decisions. (things like trying to keep her from working with rush clovis). almost like he subconsciously wants her to know what he wants her to do, and then do it. so i take from that evidence;

he doesn’t want you to get a boyfriend are you crazy? you should’ve known not to do that. come back.

what i imagine is when he met you, it was less like the padme interaction. it was less pressure, he got to know you a bit. he saw you as a person first instead of an angel, a person with flaws that he took note of instead of ignore. of course, his infatuation with you grows as time goes on. all of this heavily reminds me of an excerpt from my notes that i had been writing up— just cos i think ur so special, 👑, and i want to contribute as much as u have— here it is, only a little edited to fit this narrative:

☥ opportunities present themselves for him to show his true colors, what hes really willing to do, capable of, be driven to. he’s so goddamn dark it’s delicious to me for some reason to analyze his descent into the dark side. and the idea that he uses sex and wrath to release those emotions, to give them a voice and an outlet, in order to satiate them in some way IS ALSO SO DELICOUS TO ME

☥ like he’s been celibate most of his life. whether unwilling or willing, hes avoided sex because he’s been— what he thinks is— “in love” with padme. (with the stuff i’ve seen in the prequels, it seemed he was more in love with the idea of padme instead of the actual person and i think they wrote it that way on purpose). and when he meets reader, suddenly there’s this physical person to meet, to speak, to interact with. his fantasies manifest themselves within someone attainable. she’s got flaws, she’s here, she’s real. instead of the senator hes only been able to dream about. he gets caught up, suddenly his mind that was so preoccupied with padme has been wiped clean. and where he once saw padme’s face he sees reader’s

☥ when he finally has his outlet to let out these insane emotions within him— that the jedi cannot know about and/or choose to ignore within themselves or let go— they’re explosive

☥ like reader takes his virginity, one thing led to another and you and him were breaking shit in your apartment in lower courascant while you threw each other around. somehow he decided this was the time to do it. to go for it. after thinking about you so much after you two met. and you didn’t even know he was a virgin (besides very slight suspicions) until he decided to tell you a little before his dick ended up in you. needless to say you were impressed

☥ when you opened the doors for him, took his virginity, gave him the space to show what he’s made of, he was instantly hooked. sex crazed. not only cos it feels good, but because of that energy release. something to take everything out on. he’s so horny, so eager, impulsive

☥ i feel like because he was stuck in this sort of “innocence loop” (cos i doubt the jedi have sex ed that details how to fuck like a pro, it’s merely educational) that there’s a million things he wants to explore, experiment with, try out. he’ll do anything , i don’t see one thing that this deranged sociopath wouldn’t do if it meant a new experience. he’s a thrill seeker

☥ so you’re obviously surprised he was a virgin since he acted so goddamn deranged, and was so good at acting out the sick ideas he’s had turning over in his mind now that he finally had someone to try them with

☥ during the height of lovemaking, the passion, the heat, hes like a different person. ravenous, animalistic, filthy. finally, all of these pent up feelings inside of him after YEARS of repression just release. he’s disgusting and ofc you love it.

☥ he doesn’t care how he looks, or if what he says sounds horrible. he’s gonna do it and he’s gonna say it and for some odd reason it fuckinf works

☥ after that, he realizes what he’s done, and pays you a visit to let you know that it was fun and it can’t happen again. he loved it, had a great time, but his jedi order forbids attachment, and what they did would only sire attachment if they kept doing it. you agree of course, you thinks he’s sweet to come over to say it, especially because after a one night stand most people never speak again. it’s adorably naive of him. and somehow you and him get onto the subject of the highlights of that night. how he blew your expectations out of the water, and you thought you were freaky/kinky until you met him.

☥ before you know it, you two have reconnected. “just one more time, just one,” he mumbles against your lips as you’re sitting on his lap. he hums in confirmation and digs his fingers into your thighs.

“of course, of course, just get these fucking shorts off,”

☥ you two get into this habit of seeing each other. being fuck buddies. he had a rough day at the temple? he’s coming over to blow off some steam. you had a shitty date and the guy couldn’t last more than a minute? anakin makes sure to pump multiple rounds into that pretty pussy because he feels like he can’t tell you not to see anybody else.

☥ both of you know that this is against his order’s rules, but he doesn’t seem to care. if you and him secretly want to level it up to a romantic relationship, the risk of the other disliking the idea is enough to keep either of you from confessing to the other. you believe a romantic relationship would be a step up from this fuck buddy relationship, and be too much to bear for him on top of everything else.

to get over him you literally get this boyfriend, pretending that it’s not to get over anakin and to have a real reason to stop seeing him.

it confuses anakin ofc. that thought of “i didn’t want her to do that, why did she do that?“ controlling his actions. making him pick up the comm to beg for you one more time— well, at least until the NEXT time he begs for you one more time

it’s so FASCINATING to me. i hope u liked these additions and that they weren’t confusing. im so happy to put them somewhere other than my notes app

disclaimer: there’s nothing wrong with padme i love padme, and she’s necessary and important. i just like explaining my thought process on what’s inside anakin’s head and before they got hitched and all.

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anakinisvaderisanakin · 3 years

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Anakin is to blame for his fall.

Anakin bears final blame for his state of being.

It is true that he was raised fatherless as a slave, taken away from his mother and only security while only nine years old to be raised by a religious group he knew nothing of prior to meeting one of its practitioners.

It is true that he was met with skepticism and suspicion upon arriving, being deemed too old to train and thus picked on my his peers.

It is true that his relationship with his master was rocky, and that Obi-Wan could not be outspoken and honest about his love for his apprentice.

It is true that his fears were realized when his nightmares about his mother’s death became reality, and that he was overtly prevented from coming to her aid.

It is true that he was was required to bury his volatile emotions underneath the surface, to shut up and never bring them up and let them go.

It is true that despite being married to a loving wife, he had to hide the marriage from the public and live with a secret he knew may ruin his reputation and sever his connection to the order.

It is true that he did stand up for Ahsoka, that he did want the best for his own apprentice while she was being falsely accused of murder.

It is true that Anakin was barely even an adult when he fell to the Dark Side, terrified of losing Padmé, of losing their children of knowing that the nightmares may once again come true unless he acted to prevent it.

It is true that Palpatine manipulated and groomed Anakin all the while, sensing both his power and his vulnerability and feeding off of his weaknesses.

It is true that the Jedi did not have the tools to aid Anakin, or to give him the psychiatric help he would have needed in order to function within society given his traumatic childhood and difficult upbringing.

But it was Anakin who would not trust his loved ones, who would not believe they had the best intentions. It was Anakin who adhered to Palpatine’s constant reassurance of his greatness, his value, his power.

Ahsoka explained why she left, that she couldn’t trust the order that had not stood up for her - but Anakin still took it personally, as if she was abandoning him and without taking her feelings into the equation.

The Jedi order were clear with their rules, they put up guidelines and restrictions to follow, and Anakin still broke them.

Obi-Wan may not have been able to profess his love for Anakin out loud, but if Anakin had taken the time, he would have noticed and realized that Obi-Wan did love him - and that in spite of the fact that Obi-Wan knew he was not supposed to develop emotional attachments.

Padmé may have been selfish and codependent on Anakin and much as he was on her, and she did condone and forgive his murdering an entire village - but she did put her foot down when it went too far, and she did tell Anakin that she loved him and would have forgiven him once more despite knowing he had murdered children if he had only listened to her.

But Anakin didn’t listen. Anakin never listened. Anakin is a loving and emotional man, yes, but he is also hopelessly inept when it comes to taking the people he loves’ feelings into account.

Anakin loves Ahsoka, therefore she should stay with the order even if it’s not fair to her. Anakin loves Obi-Wan, therefore Obi-Wan should always praise him and be openly proud and verbally supportive of him. Anakin loves Padmé, therefore she should always forgive and support him whatever he does, even if that includes killing innocent people. Anakin loves his mother, therefore killing an entire village in cold blood as revenge is a fair retribution.

Anakin loves Ahsoka, but her state of mind is worth less than Anakin’s. Anakin loves Obi-Wan, but his dedication to the order and to himself is worth less than Anakin’s need for validation. Anakin loves Padmé, but her unrelenting love and forgiveness doesn’t matter if she won’t follow him to the end of the line.

Anakin promises to save his mother, and he does come for her but it’s too late. Anakin promises to clear Ahsoka’s name, and he does but she rejects the order either way. Anakin is bashful upon learning that Obi-Wan is proud of him, but he still second guesses and doubts the sincerity behind it. Anakin promises Padmé he will save her, although she doesn’t care if she dies as long as her child(ren) lives and Anakin can’t accept that.

Anakin doesn’t care if Ahsoka, Obi-Wan or Padmé are happy or satisfied with any outcome. What Anakin cares about is his world, his feelings, his own satisfaction.

Anakin isn’t an inherently selfish man, and he doesn’t pressure people and demand their all because he’s callous. Anakin simply never learnt how to deal with healthy relationships, he only had his mother and during his formative years, he was Obi-Wan’s padawan - and Obi-Wan was distant, despite his attempts at breaking the ice.

Now, Obi-Wan being distant does not put the blame on him. Ahsoka leaving the order does not put the blame on her. Padmé enabling Anakin’s violent tendencies does not put the blame on her. The Jedi order following their religion and imposing it upon Anakin who did wish to become a Jedi does not put the blame on them.

Could Obi-Wan have been more nurturing? Yes, but Anakin still demanded more than he could give.

Could Ahsoka have stayed in contact with Anakin after leaving the order? Yes, but her wanting to put some distance between herself and the Jedi is understandable and valid.

Could Padmé have protested and given Anakin ultimatums when he committed atrocities? Yes, but her seeing the best in Anakin at all times came from a place of love, not a wish to condone murder or violence.

Could the order have given Anakin some leniency and offered him therapy instead of asking him to hide his emotions? Yes, but they simply followed their teachings and expected Anakin to be able to do the same.

Anakin had no easy life, no simple choices - but he did have the choice when it came to Palpatine. Still, if anybody outside of Anakin influenced, coursed and shares the blame, it’s Palpatine. Palpatine is what Anakin is inherently not - he is a cruel, ambitious, evil man.

Anakin is selfish, Anakin wants love, Anakin wants to save the people he loves. Sure, it’s for his own gain, but he still wants to be good. He has good intentions as much as they are driven by personal investment. Palpatine cares for no one but himself. Any kindness Palpatine showed Anakin is a lie and a hoax and a bluff. Palpatine preyed upon Anakin’s insecurities. Palpatine manipulated a lost young boy desperate for approval and a father figure.

But at the end of the day, Anakin had a choice. Do I understand why he chose Palpatine and the Dark Side? Yes. Do I understand how his fear drove him to desperate measures? Yes. Do I understand how the high of his new powers snared him? Yes. Do I understand why he believed in Palpatine above the Jedi order? Yes.

But Anakin’s self serving attitude is revealed when instead of saving Padmé, instead of running away with her so she can be safe - what he was initially fighting for - he chokes her, harms her, contributes to her demise. Anakin’s selfishness is his downfall, and that’s where the blame lies with him.

As soon as he dons the cape and mask, he accepts this new living hell he’s trapped within - because deep down, he knows he deserves no less. He ruined his own life, he destroyed the Jedi order, he drove away Obi-Wan (and Ahsoka), and he killed Padmé. Vader isn’t a different person. Vader is Anakin, and Anakin knows what he deserves is suffering, and pain, and torment.

Anakin deserves being but a husk of the man he once was. What else does he have left, but to serve the man who aided him in his downfall? What else does he have left, but to bring harm and hurt to others so that they may taste a sliver of his internal agony? What else does he have left but the monster he turned himself into? Anakin knows it’s his fault, he knows there is no Vader, he knows he did it all by himself.

Anakin knows he became his own nightmare, and he continues to exist because he knows it’s what he deserves. Anakin does not abandon his old self because he’s no longer Anakin, but because the man he once was is warped and he does not believe he deserves to associate himself with his past. The name ‘Anakin’ stands for life when it was good, and hopeful, and worth living. Anakin can no longer relate to any of those sentiments, and thus ‘Anakin’ is simply not a name he feels worthy of.

Anakin never forgot who he was, he simply accepted that he had gone too far to turn back. He understood that he did not deserve forgiveness, or redemption, and he did not seek it out. Anakin knew Obi-Wan and Padmé and Ahsoka would all have forgiven him, but he could not let them overlook the horrible things he had done.

The irony in his refusing to accept forgiveness and turn around, is that that is perhaps the most selfless decision he could have made. Because when Obi-Wan, Ahsoka and Padmé had tried their hardest, he still would not budge. And that would, in some aspect, at least let them know they did their best and it was not enough. They tried, and failed. Anakin made sure they failed because he did not wish to be saved.

Ahsoka got her chance to stay with him, and make her perceived betrayal right. Padmé never lost her faith in him, even while she lay dying. Obi-Wan let himself be cut down and killed, both to free himself as a Force ghost, but also to let Anakin enact his revenge. They got even, in the end.

Vader is no disease, no second persona, no separate entity. Blaming Anakin’s deeds on Vader as somebody else absolves Anakin and removes the guilt from him. It discredits Anakin, and it cheapens his character. Anakin is not a good man, he is only human. But in the end, despite a life time of poor choices, he makes the right decision. And it’s just as much Anakin saving Luke, as it was Anakin cutting off his hand. It’s just as much Anakin choking Padmé, as it was Anakin marrying her. Anakin did it all.

Anakin alone is to blame for his suffering, and he knows this because there is no Vader. There is only Anakin.

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smhalltheurlsaretaken · 3 years

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I wonder at what age can a Jedi be allowed to leave the Order? Like, obviously a full grown Knight/Master can do it (Lost Twenty), Obi-Wan and Anakin were considering it as Padawans, but what if, hypothetically, and Initiate/Youngling wanted to go back to their bio family? Leaving is not a decision to be made lightly, but kids don't have that maturity/thought process developed yet. Would anyone even take them seriously over, say, a bout of intense homesickness? Or is that considered attachment?

I think it would depend from case to case. We don’t have all that much to go on from, but I’ll try my best to answer.

I’m not taking into account the JA books (because they aren’t canon, haven’t been canon in ages and imo Watson and Wolverton had no business creating so much worldbuilding when Lucas wasn’t done with the PT yet) or any other Legends stuff, because it can be contradictory, confusing, and it often doesn’t reflect creator intent for the movies and TCW.

So, let’s see: Ahsoka’s choice is respected even though she’s only 16 or 17, with s7 and the unreleased crystal arc really emphasizing that it was her decision as a young adult trying to find her way. In s2, Obi-Wan states that he would have left the Order for Satine had she asked, when he was only about 16 at the end of the Mandalore mission. Maybe he would have had to wait a few years? Maybe the Masters would have first talked with him for some time, to try and understand if it was really what he wanted? But he would have been able to leave. In s6, when he talks with Anakin about Padmé and Clovis, he says again that acting upon one’s feelings is a matter of personal decision, so it’s not like he and Satine couldn’t be together because he was forced to stay. He says he chose to stay.

So clearly, Jedi teenagers are considered mature enough by the Order to understand what they want in life.

As for the Younglings, hmm... Several key things here.

One, the Order doesn’t disapprove of wanting to connect to one’s birth culture. (Evidenced by the very diverse clothing, Barriss’ Mirialan prayer statue, Ahsoka and Shaak Ti’s headdresses, this long post on Jedi views on blood families, Byph and Gungi speaking only their native languages instead of Basic, etc etc...) So I think Jedi kids experiencing serious homesickness would be encouraged to connect with their heritage to try and understand if it’s really what they are looking for.

Two, it’s implied that even little children have some say in whether or not they become Jedi in the first place. When Plo finds Ahsoka, we see him holding out his hand and waiting for her to take it while the Togruta adults stay back. They don’t just drop her into his arms and wave bye-bye. The Rodian child in the Holocron Arc in s2 is shown to be super precocious - super eagerly floating toys around when Anakin himself didn’t display fine telekinesis when he was untrained - and he is in a transitory period. His mother has met with Jedi before, but says he’s still in her care “for some time.” That might indicate there’s still time for a change of plans. In the newest Mandalorian episode, Ahsoka tells Din that Grogu will be the one to decide his path, even though he’s a toddler. Similarly, Qui-Gon asks both Shmi and Anakin before taking him to the Temple.

Three, we have no idea if there is such a thing as “being a minor” in the Galaxy, tbh. It would vary between species, obviously, and probably between planets. I mean, Padmé was Queen at 14, and her handmaidens/bodyguards were her age. Leia was involved in politics at 15. Jedi Padawans were considered mature enough to teach academic subjects - like politics - to kids older than they were (see Ahsoka being asked to teach older Mandalorian teenagers at age 14) and mature enough to be Commanders within a very strict chain of command.

From what we see in AotC and TCW, it’s never in line with Jedi teachings to just dismiss any kid’s thought process as “too immature.” Yoda values the little children’s contributions in AotC, and in Lightsaber Lost (TCW s2) Jocasta and Tera Sinube respect Ahsoka’s decision not to go to Anakin about her lightsaber - and they help her figure it out by herself and grow. And while Aayla forces her to come along and leave Anakin behind in Jedi Crash (TCW s2) she does take the time to explain to her why it’s important, Ahsoka does choose to obey, and they do have a very serious talk about it as they walk. Luminara does dismiss Ahsoka as inexperienced in s1ep9, before fighting Ventress, and then takes it back and apologizes. Obi-Wan frequently asks Anakin and Ahsoka their opinion, and even lets them make the plans. In Yoda’s vision meant to tempt him with his deepest desire, he sees Katooni (who is like 11, maybe?) as his guiding figure. Younglings go alone in the caves of Ilum and Yoda trusts them to understand that his warning about being trapped was just a trick - he doesn’t want them to take everything he says as gospel, he wants them to think, and he praises 12-year-old Petro for just breaking the ice door. Throughout canon, we see that Jedi see children as people, with a mind of their own and the ability to understand what’s going on around them and make informed decisions.

Based on all of that, I think that younglings wanting to leave would be taken seriously. I think it would be extraordinarily rare (because as I’ll show once I finally manage to finish that analysis of the Ilum arc, Jedi kids appear to love their lifestyle and their community, and to be emotionally healthy), but it might happen - and I think the Masters would really take the time to talk with them, try to understand why, and provide them with solutions - and possibly help them return to their birth families, if that’s what they decided in the end.

About the attachment thing, I have another meta in the works that’s been sitting in my drafts for months x) And it shows that the Jedi aren’t paranoid about it, merely cautious. Attachment (which is very different from love or healthy connections to other people and/or a culture) is a very really danger for psychic people so vulnerable to their emotions, but Jedi don’t spend their days scrutinizing every single aspects of their relationships and their intentions trying to determine if there’s even the faintest shadow of attachment lurking behind. It’s not some frightening taboo thing. They discuss it freely (again, Aayla and Ahsoka in s2). If a kid was attached to his birth family and wanted to go back, then all the more reason to seriously consider his opinion and let him go. (Just like with Grogu and Din). Because the path of a Jedi isn’t for everyone, and that’s perfectly okay.

Anyway, hope that’s good enough of an answer. I know there are older asks in my inbox I haven’t answered yet, sorry. I promise I’m working on them.

#ask #meta #my meta #sw talk #jedi order #jedi younglings #anonymous

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sullustangin · 3 years

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Fearful Avoidant Attachment and the Single Spy

Caveat: I’m not a counselor of any sort, and I’m applying labels to fictional characters. Don’t take this too seriously.

This post has been kicking around in different forms in my prompt document for awhile. I will start posting my Yavin fic this weekend. A major element of this fic will be the dynamic between Theron and the playable character/love interest. Their interactions will be informed by how I view his attachments. I’ve put some of this into the fic series already.

“Attachment” in the Star Wars universe is the idea, according to George Lucas, that Jedi should love everyone but not get attached. “Attached” in this context is possession, greed, being willing to do things for individuals rather than the greater good, and ultimately the fear of loss. Attachment is a negative concept in Jedi philosophy.

However, I would argue that while this philosophy is in the back of Theron’s head, Jedi attachment concepts are not what makes Theron’s personal life messy. It’s the personal context surrounding that teaching and his life events that shape this. So let’s look at real life attachment theory.

In its most basic form, attachment theory is the idea that children need to develop a positive relationship with a caregiver to turn out ok. If the child is neglected, then they will have problems forming healthy attachments to others. There’s a lot of caveats to this theory. Some put the threshold of ‘must have positive relationship by x age’ to age 2 or age 5. Others state that this is problematic, because if a child loses their caregiver and passes into the hands of a less affectionate or downright abusive caregiver, then their positive attachment formation by age x doesn’t count for much.

There are several different types of attachment that a person can have. A secure attachment is what most healthy relationships are rooted in. People feel safe and secure within themselves and within the relationship. Jedi can be attached in this fashion, even if they don’t call it this; the Jedi have orderly boundaries and a clear understanding of what their associations entail. They have care systems for younglings and padawans, which were like pre-modern apprenticeships. They are secure within themselves as Jedi and in their relationships outside the order. They are at peace.

An insecure attachment has a flaw in it; something is wrong in how the person relates to themselves and others in relationships, platonic, romantic or otherwise. One type is dismissive or avoidant; the attachments are actively avoided, so the person is often isolated and rejects others and their friendly overtures. Another type is anxious or preoccupied; people tend to get very clingy or possessive with anyone they latch onto, which can cause the relationship to self-destruct (hi, Anakin).

Then there is fearful avoidant attachment, the label I think fits Theron Shan, our favorite high-quality spy and absolute emotional disaster. In theory, Theron tries to avoid deep emotional attachments because he’s scared of being left behind or not having those attachments reciprocated. At the same time, he desperately wants those attachments and relationships, but the potential of failure makes him avoid or even sabotage the relationship. That results in an on-going war between Theron and his feelings. To quote Psychalive, “the person [he wants] to go to for safety is the same person [he is] frightened to be close to. As a result, [he has] no organized strategy for getting [his] needs met by others.”

Why does Theron have attachment issues?

Some accuse Satele Shan or Jace Malcom of being “bad parents.” There’s a problem with this premise: although there is a biological relationship, neither Satele nor Jace had a parent-child relationship with Theron. Jace didn’t even know Theron existed until the child was 26, so he couldn’t act in any capacity. Satele gave Theron up to be raised by someone else; she opted out of the role of mother and did not talk to him as mother-and-son until Theron was 26. There isn’t an abusive or neglectful relationship here because there isn’t a relationship, period. Much like romantic relationships, it’s better to have no relationship than a bad one. Jace and Satele didn’t raise Theron. They were strangers to him until he was an adult. They were never his caretakers. Who did Theron have attachments to?

Theron was raised by a Jedi named Ngani Zho, who had been Satele Shan’s master when she was a padawan. After Satele gave birth in a cave on some planet, Zho took the child and raised him as his own son. This was irregular, honestly. Jedi younglings that express some sort of control over the Force are typically put into a creche at the Jedi Temple; we’ve seen this in the Star Wars prequel films. Guss Tuno references this in SWTOR, as he was chagrinned to be in class with a bunch of five-year-olds in bathrobes. Theron was raised by Zho directly and they were constantly traveling, based upon comments we read in The Lost Suns comic and in the novel Annihilation. Theron never entered the creche because he never manifested signs he was Force-sensitive – not even a little like Guss.

Zho traveled with Theron until the boy was an adolescent. Then, Theron was told by Zho to travel to the Jedi Temple at Haashimut to receive more training; he could do no more for him. The trip through a desert nearly killed the boy. When Theron had recovered, it fell to Master Till’in to tell him he would not be a Jedi. Ever.

Instead of telling Theron or notifying Satele about the boy’s lack of Force aptitude, Zho sent him onward and then disappeared. There is no indication that Zho told anyone where he was going or why. When Theron met Zho again at age 23, the Master’s mind was scrambled and confused; he couldn’t give any answers to Theron about anything. Was there a mission he had been set on? Or did he just wander off on his own?

For storytelling purposes, it’s convenient to pair Zho’s departure with the aftermath of the Treaty of Coruscant. In the year Theron turned 13 (3653 BBY), the Great Galactic War ended with the Treaty of Coruscant, wherein the Sith Empire enforced demands on the Republic. The Sith won. Zho leaving could be tied to this (through a mission or quixotic urge), but the source material isn’t clear on the timing.

Theron’s life suddenly became very uncertain. His entire life had been built up to becoming a Jedi. To some extent, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong, Theron probably felt like he was a failure. We know he tried to fix this; in The Lost Suns, he acknowledged pursuing access to the Force through the Matukai Force tradition – being an ascetic. In Annihilation, he recalled and took particular umbrage at the “arrogance” of the Jedi – those that made him feel like any other path was second (or third or less)-best. This diminished over time, but the revelation about his lack of Force Sensitivity probably left Theron feeling very insecure about himself and who he was as an adolescent/young teen.

In terms of his relationships, Zho was gone with no forwarding address. The man Theron called his father was no longer reachable, and for another ten years, there would be no closure as to what happened to him. Zho had actively endangered Theron by sending him through a desert to Haashimut. Did he gamble that the boy’s Force Sensitivity would manifest in a life-threatening crisis or something? Who knows? Theron never went into the Jedi creche, so he didn’t have close peers or friends beyond pen pals at best. Theron had not spoken to his bio parents at all to this point, and he probably didn’t know many (if any) non-Force Sensitive kids. With his expulsion from Jedi society, Theron’s entire relationship network was gone.

This is important to understand -- Theron had been raised to not have attachments that would lead to selfishness or fear of loss, but he was raised to be able to love and care for others. He lived in a structure that fostered good psychological attachments (secure attachments) to the order and to his fellow sentients without possessiveness or jealousy. Theron knew his mother gave him up. He knew one day Zho would give his care over to another Master. He knew one day, he would leave the Temple to go out into the galaxy. Theron knew how the galaxy worked and his role in it...

..and then it was torn away from him. No more masters, no more knowledge of what came next, no way to ever work with his mother as a Jedi. His life to that point had been an illusion -- he was never able to access the Force, and Zho knew it. This left Theron as insecurely attached, as nothing that he anticipated for his life would ever happen, and he knew nobody that would accompany him into this new life.

External to all this, the Republic Theron was raised to serve was on the losing end of war. How the galaxy worked, as far as Theron knew to that point, was going to change. After Till’in told Theron the truth, all we know is that he spent some time in Haashimut before going elsewhere. We the viewer have no idea what happened to Theron from adolescence until he was 16, when he entered SIS per Annihilation. This may be a canon math/timing error, or it could be reasonable; Theron might have been able to get permission to join a government organization at 16. If Theron was in foster care or a ward of the state or something else, whoever was involved didn’t make an impact worthy of mention thus far in SWTOR canon.

Theron described Zho in The Lost Suns as “never reliable.” That was a 23-year-old looking back. Yet, he referred to him as his father in Annihilation three years later, and even eight years later in SWTOR: KotFE, he mentions that “Master Zho would be proud.” This seems contradictory. Additionally, in both The Lost Suns and Annihilation, SIS Director Marcus Trant expressed concern about Theron and his issues. Theron was a workaholic. Being a workaholic is actually a sign of having attachment issues; a person attaches themselves to work, not people Theron expressed desires to run away, go on vacation, and do new stuff… but he never did these things – couldn’t get away from the job.

Attachment theory states that a child has difficulty with attachments if they are abused or somehow neglected by their caretaker. The desert march definitely strikes me as falling into one of those categories, but again, Zho’s logic isn’t readily offered up to the viewer, nor are many details about Theron’s life as a traveling youngling. That all said, Zho’s traumatic departure probably caused attachment issues that had no other herald.

Why do the labels “fearful” and “avoidant” fit Theron?

Theron Shan as the player met him in Forged Alliance SWTOR was a professional. Flirting was ignored, mildly acknowledged, or, rarely, fully reciprocated. There was no physical contact between Theron and his asset. This doesn’t seem off or irregular until his romance is compared to that of Lana Beniko. She didn’t have the same issues expressing affection for her asset on Imp side; she touched their face and gave them a hug by the time the spies went under deep cover after Rakata Prime. Even if the player did not romance Lana, Lana herself was keen to make a team and bust open the conspiracy; she wasn’t as willing to go it alone.

Avoidant people tend to refrain from contact, and they like being independent. They don’t do well in teams. Sound familiar? Fearful avoidants also have the concern that they will fail their partner or that their partner will fail them. If the player was Imp side, Theron was a jerk well into the Rishi storyline. Eventually, Theron did come around. His dialogue and follow-up letter reflect the fact that he actually did want these connections and attachments. He enjoyed the time he had with the player.

This is particularly pronounced if Theron was romanced by the player on Rishi and Yavin; first physical contact occurred on Rishi with a kiss. If the player was Pubside, the fade-to-black and his comments on Yavin indicate they had sex. Those episodes of affection, paired with the Pub post-Yavin letter and dialogue, really emphasize the connection that was formed. Interestingly, Theron did not get a fade-to-black with the Imperial player. One might argue that he knew they were going to leave him, and so he couldn’t –wouldn’t—get attached.

…. And then Ziost happened. Theron refused to ask for help. He didn’t want to depend on that attachment. He was distant on Ziost, regardless of how far the relationship went, and if Pubside, he declined a drink afterwards.

Whatever transpired between Ziost and the Eternal Fleet Incident, it’s clear that a romanced Theron and the player never defined their relationship. There were certain boundaries that never were crossed. He’d “like to think” the player is dreaming of him, but he didn’t want to presume. Even after Theron got into a romantic relationship on Odessen, he still struggled with his ability to be attached, as evidence by his letters and expressions of affection and concern throughout the KotFE/KotET expansions.

One might argue that the traitor element of the Nathema Conspiracy was partially caused by Theron’s attachment issues: his independent streak, his inability to ask for help, his lack of faith in others to do the job right (not telling anyone the truth), his lack of faith in himself (his willingness to understand why the player might dump/exile him). If romanced, he gave one of his Holonet messages the subject line “I love you,” but even then, he did not clue the player into his self-made mission. Certainly, the Nathema Conspiracy happens because of Theron’s desperate desire to save the galaxy and the player at any cost – including the relationship itself and his life.

For those who let Theron live, the attachment issues have faded as Theron has gotten engaged/married and/or reformed a relationship with his bio parents… or the writers have moved on from Lana and Theron as companions. Regardless, we have to keep in mind that Theron is closing in on 40, and he has grown as a character since he first appeared in Star Wars media at age 23 (baby and adolescent only in flashbacks). His issues with his relationships, the Jedi, the Republic, and his bio parents have changed over the course of 17 years. In the last story patch, people who have romanced Theron received letters from both Theron and his mother about how good the player is for him, and it’s very satisfying to see how far he has come.

How does this label of ‘fearful avoidant’ manifest in your fanworks?

Since not everyone is into fic, I’ll drop this behind a cut.

Basically, my version of Theron wants love but is terrified of all the feelings and closeness that come with it. When people get close, he draws away, but still wants them to be close. Theron has had good relationships, but if it gets too serious, he runs. That’s the case for his last major relationship prior to my oc; his Mirialan girlfriend was drawing a tattoo to mark their relationship, and she wanted him to meet the parents. Theron noped out of there pretty hard by taking a long mission off Coruscant and sort of forgetting to tell her. There are several times where he takes a big step with Eva (my oc)– disclosure, physical intimacy, caring for her or letting her care for him – and then he just doesn’t contact her for the next few days. He dives into work to avoid her. Toward the end of their initial relationship, that will turn into weeks and months. He is freaked out when he does things with her that are intimate, sexual or not. He has a lot of fear that he will be left again, so he leaves first.

Theron also sets up a lot of rules and boundaries that the partner has to dance around to get in. After 300,000 words, I just completed a slow burn with the Rishi kiss, because Theron wouldn’t get involved with Eva until after the op to expose the conspiracy was over. There will be more rules once they get to Yavin.

When I was doing research on this, I read a clinical study that found that people with avoidant attachment issues are particularly fastidious about safe sex. They don’t want attachments to their lovers in the form of a disease or a child. Anxious attachments tend to eschew this and take the risk so they can be bound to someone. This is part of why I gave Theron a male birth control implant, but there will also be reference to his back-up (condoms) and back-up back-up (PreP) to ensure there aren’t any adverse consequences for him.

Theron is often alone, but that doesn’t make him lonely by default. In part, that might be due to his avoidance of attachments. Dude can pick up people at a bar and get laid. Theron isn’t adverse to sex, just intimacy. He can find someone to hook up, but that doesn’t mean there is anything beyond sex attached to it. Theron can and does get dates, and he can have relationships ... but that doesn’t mean he can make a healthy connection to the other person. I think his issues are more emotional/internal than they are caused by not getting enough physical contact or affection from others. People want to love him. People reach out to him to be friends or have a relationship. He just doesn’t want it; he avoids it. I imagine that this is partly the case with Jace and his SIS coworkers.

The last fearful avoidant feature I’ll give Theron in my series is the tendency to idealize relationships after they’re dead and over. When the relationship is no longer available, it is held up and made glorious, partially to enable the person not to pursue a different relationship; it’ll never be as good, so why try? This also calls in the tendency for fearful avoidants to fear not only screwing up the relationship themselves, but that others won’t live up to their expectations. Theron is a mess after the Eternal Fleet incident and never moves on from Eva. It’s reasonable when he thinks she’s alive, but for a good two years, he thinks she’s dead… and he can’t. With anyone else.

Unlike the game, I eventually send Theron to a therapist to deal with the fearful avoidant attachment issues. I figure if I’m going to give a fictional character a real-world label, I need to give him a real-world solution that might work.

#swtor #theron shan #character analysis #theron thursday #jedi #jedi philosophy #ngani zho

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starksvixen · 3 years

Text

Shattered - Part 2

Summary: A Jedi and a Mandalorian. Impossible right? Not for Satine and Obi - Wan. Hell, he even said he would leave the Jedi Order for her. But you wished it was you...

A/N - I have only watched a few episodes of Clone Wars so I am not overall familar with Satine and Obi - Wan’s romance. I just thought it would be a spicy fanfiction hehe. This story is also not based on any specific Clone Wars episode, but rather an imaginary situation.

There is a reason the quote “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” is around. Despite the deep cuts left in your chest due to your shattered heart, you used the pain as fuel, a purpose. To become hardened, to never let another man into your heart like that again. You were a Mandalorian and much to Satine’s dislike, you were a warrior at heart, meant to protect others and your people.

You repeated these words to yourself over and over during your stay on the planet. Keeping your conversations short with the Jedi while you trained by yourself. Only talking to Satine if she promised to not bring up the heartbreak.

With every other attack that came against the Duchess, you became more accurate, more deadly. You were liking the person you were turning into, a true Mandalorian. A warrior in your armor that people feared. It felt good to no longer be the weak girl the General had left you as.

Until today.

You watched the ships being loaded up closely, ensuring that none of those droids could stowaway. Every time you saw one crawl into the luggage, your blaster was up by your eyes and the droid would be dead on the ground.

This time, Obi Wan was shoving something into one of the luggage carts as you watched one crawl it’s way onto the bag. Without a second thought, you quickly shoot it off, not minding the shot’s close proximity to the Jedi’s head.

Apparently, that was Obi Wan’s last straw, storming over to you. You let a soft sigh release, one soft enough your modulator couldn’t translate. Still gentle as ever, he grabs your arm and takes you inside, to a secluded corner away from prying arms of workers.

“What the bloody hell has gotten into you, (Y/N)?” he exclaims into a whisper.

“I’ve been doing my job,” you reply in a flat tone.

“No, you haven’t. You’ve been avoiding me, shutting out Satine, taking more risks. All you ever do is go from training by yourself to sitting in your room doing Gods knows what. It’s not healthy!”

“It doesn’t matter...”

“Yes, it do-”

All you hear is Satine’s scream, sending your entire body into flight or fight. Pushing past Obi - Wan, you run out to the tarmac to see the place littered with dead clones and Satine in the hands of a pirate.

Quickly, you lift your gun to take out the threat, but an invisible Force pushes the tip to the ground. You look at Obi - Wan, your eyes wide underneath your mask as his hand stays subtly lifted.

“Put the Duchess down, or you will regret it,”

“And how would I regret it? The Duchess is worth more then the two of you combined!” the pirate laughs.

That’s when the Force on your blaster was released. With a smirk beneath your mask, you quickly shoot the leader, sending his lackies into a blood induced rage.

Out of the corner of your eye, Obi - Wan wordlessly takes his place behind your back, hearing the loud buzz of a lightsaber being enacted. All of them were coming at you both too fast for you to shoot. So as the first one came, you used your blaster to smack them straight across the face.

Given the small space in time, you grab your staff from your pocket, clicking a button to expand it. Then, as each pirate came running towards you, you could easily smack them out of the way. Reaching into the slot on your armor, your pulled the blade seated there and stabbed each of them in the thigh as they landed. The bastards weren’t going to get away with this.

Once all of the pirates were either dead or groaning on the ground, Satine runs towards you. Quickly looking away, you return your weapons to their proper place as you think she is running towards Obi - Wan. But she runs straight into your arms and without hesitation you hold your oldest friend close to you.

“You shouldn’t have fell for the trick,” she whispers.

“(Y/N), no!” you hear the real Satine from behind you.

Just as the changeling uses her hidden blade to try and slit your throat, she freezes with the blade pressed slightly into your skin. The changeling fell to the ground, a lightsaber shaped hole in her chest.

Obi - Wan looks at you with wide eyes as you breathe heavily. Without him, you most likely would have met your doom. The pure adrenaline coursing through your veins helps you to ignore the steady stream of blood pouring all over your armor from the wound on your neck. You bend and quickly grab your blaster, your eyes scanning what was left of the luggage carts for any more threats.

“Anakin, get the Duchess on board and get us out of here. I’ll take care of (Y/N),”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Anakin quickly escort your friend on board and the ship roaring to life. As your body realizes she’s safe, your knees give out under the pressure of your sight spinning. Before you fully collapse to the ground, a pair of strong arms keeps you up, throwing an arm around his shoulders and helping you onto the ship.

Once in a secluded room, Obi - Wan quickly closes the door, your heart picking up at his presence. He quickly collects what he needs from nearby storage carts, obviously waiting for you to take your helmet off.

“Thank you for your help, but I can take care of myself,” you hoarsely say, the pain from your neck intensifying.

“She’s safe with Anakin, you need me more,”

You sigh hard once he collects everything and sets it beside where you now sit. As he goes to take your helmet off, you quickly snatch his wrists to stop him.

“(Y/N)...what did I do to break your trust?” Obi - Wan whispers, picking up on the subtle que.

“You didn’t...”

Slowly, you release his wrists, your helmet clad head pointing towards the ground as you felt the weakness you always felt around him set in. Tears spring into your eyes from the pain in your neck and the one in your chest.

“What did I do to lose you?”

“I made you, so you would be happy,” you softly say, the pain escalating at an alarming rate.

“But my dear, I have been quite the opposite,”

“What are you talking about? You’re with Satine, I see how you look at her.”

“How I look at her pales in comparison to how I look at you,”

You stay silent, trying to process his words and suppress the butterflies to threaten to tear your gut in two. The vulnerability sets in, making you tense up, making the pain even worse all over. You can’t help but a small, audible sob echo from you as it all becomes to overwhelming.

“My love,” you hear him whisper. “I’ve never been interested in Satine.”

Slowly, you feel his hands rest against either side of your helmet. This time, you don’t stop him. You opt to keep your head tilted to the ground, the stickiness from the blood against your neck adding to the overwhelming feelings that blur your mind. You feel the metal slip away from your hair, a fresh wave of cool air hitting your face and neck as Obi - Wan slowly removes your chest plate next. He lays them like Satine does, in a certain order, always showing respect.

“(Y/N), it’s you.”

You feel two fingers slip between your chin, lifting your face to meet his as your tears begin to slow.

“It’s always been you,”

He leans in without pause, you meeting him halfway through until your lips collide.

All of the emotions pent up, the same things that had overwhelmed you moments before, were gone. Your mind was clear for the first time in months, the only thing running through your thoughts was him. The way your lips danced together, like they were somehow training together in your minds, it sent goosebumps up your spine and down your arms.

There was something in the way his hands slipped from your face to your hips, like if he let go you would disappear again. Your seated position changes as you stand together, his frame pressed so tightly against you despite your remaining armor you could feel every muscle. As if it was engrained, your arms slip up his chest, around his neck, into his hair. Gently, you pull at the roots, not to force the kiss away, but as a silent message of longing. How much you had waited for this moment.

Eventually, you come up for air, both of you sharing a soft pant at the tension broken between the two of you. A smile unlike any other graces your face, happiness replacing the adrenaline that was once in your veins.

“I love you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” he whispers, his swollen lips pressing against yours softly with his words.

“And I love you, Obi - Wan Kenobi,” you whisper in return.

After some time, he sat you down again, cleaning and stiching up the wound on your neck. Not without a chaste kiss here and there however. As he threads the needle through the last point it was needed, a thought comes to mind.

“What about the Order?”

A soft silence settles between you as the Jedi ponders your words. But only for a moment.

“When Satine first caught onto my feelings, I told her I would leave the Jedi Order if you told me too,”

As he threads and ties off the last stitch, your eyes connect again as you ponder his words now too.

“I couldn’t possibly ask that of you,”

“But then we can’t be together, (Y/N),”

You ponder once more.

“What they don’t know can’t kill them,” you mumble softly, running a hand through his tangled locks that still somehow remained soft.

“You want to keep it a secret?”

“Until you’re ready to leave, not for me, but for yourself.”

“How did I get so lucky to have a gorgeous and smart woman?” he says with a cheeky smirk.

“Shut up and kiss me already, Obi,”

Once again, he doesn’t hesitate, your lips joining in a hungrier matrimony then before. Slowly, you lay down on the bench you had been sat upon, coaxing your Jedi to hover over you. Without his lips leaving yours for a second, he braces himself above you. Just as his lips leave yours to travel elsewhere, a jolt in the ship alerts you both to your arrival back on Mandoa. Obi - Wan groans softly at the lost chance of having some fun, but the same smirk you had fallen for etches his face as he whispers to you:

“Another happy landing,”

Tag List: (leave a comment to be added)

powerpuff-bucky

Would anyone want a Part 3? Maybe like an Epilogue?

#obi #wan #kenobi #obi wan #obi wan kenobi #obi wan x reader #obi wan imagine #obi wan fanfiction #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi imagine #obi wan kenobi fanfiction #ben #ben kenobi #star war #star wars imagine #star wars x reader #clone wars #mandalorian reader

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diversetolkien · 3 years

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I really don't like Padme. I know they wrote her, a woman twice Anakin's age, falling in love with him because it was a man doing everything and child predation from women isn't taken as seriously but it still makes me hate her guts. And it sucks because her character itself is FINE. More than fine. She might've been a favorite character if they'd just let her meet Anakin when they were both ADULTS. But I wondered if they did it to make their relationship even more unhealthy and toxic. Wdyt?

This is the Padme anon and I just wanna say before you misunderstand,,,teenagers molest children the same as adults do and I myself have had that experience. So the fact that she's 'also a child' when they meet means less than nothing because it's possible for that kind of power imbalance to happen, even between children. And it is especially egregious here because Anakin obviously worships the ground she walks on and looks up to her and I just really wish they'd met when they were adults.

This is the padme anon and just to be clear, I am not ranting at you or anything, I just am. Very tired of seeing everyone going 'boohoo poor padme' which is totally valid but also not addressing the ickiness on the other side of their relationship.

Hello anon! So there’s two primary reasons I don’t ship Anakin and Padme: 1) Anakin is abusive af, B) The age gap, and Padme’s role in it. I’ve already talked about Anakin and him being abusive here, so now i’ll talk a bit about Padme, woman on man abuse, and why their relationship is so problematic.

Before I continue, Padme is NOT at fault for Anakin’s attraction towards her, nor is she deserving of what happens to her.

In short, Padme and Anakin never should have been a thing. Ever. It is downright creepy. The moment Anakin approached her, an adult, with romantic and sexual advances, then she should have set up proper boundaries, and reported his behaviour to Obi-Wan.

As an adult, it was absolutely Padme’s responsibility to distance herself from Anakin when he approached her. There is absolutely no seeing past this. Their relationship started when he was literally six, and she was fourteen. An advancement of a relationship from that age just screams grooming.

And maybe she didn’t, canon doesn’t tell us she did—but that doesn’t change the fact that this is what it looks like.

When Anakin and Padme first meet, you don’t think that this woman twice his age would willingly enter a sexual relationship with him when he’s a teenager, because off the bat Padme gives us the air of maturity and responsibility, which only grows when she becomes Senator.

Padme and Anakin’s relationship was very sibling coded to begin with, at least coming from Padme. Which, considering she is the older child in the situation, made a lot of sense. Anakin’s relationship and love for Padme also stems directly from the fact that he’s a slave and has never encountered anyone like Padme due to his circumstances. There’s a power imbalance and an unhealthy emotional dependency right there—now was Padme aware of the last bit, I doubt it. But the first bit, absolutely.

Considering that, her relationship with Anakin is just plain irresponsible. In fact, much of how she handles him is irresponsible.

And folks may be like, “19 is the age of consent,” or “he’s basically an adult” No—he’s not. The brain and experiences of a 19 year old vs. a 24 year old are considerably different, even with life experiences taken into account. And taking into consideration Anakin’s risk factors (growing up as a slave, trauma of leaving his mothers, etc.,), his relationship with Padme becomes even more concerning, and does not make him more of an adult.

Anakin was traumatized, badly. Anakin did not need to be in a relationship, not because he was a Jedi, but because relationships are such a huge part of his trauma and have been highly problematic. Padme knew this, she knew what Anakin experienced, she knew how damaged his life on Tatooine had made him. She should not have been in a relationship with someone like him, not until he was an adult and not until she could work with him to recover and heal.

I’m not saying people with mental illnesses can’t be in relationships at all, even I have trauma from a shit ton of crap I experienced in my childhood. What I’m saying is that being in a relationship with an untreated mental illness, when attachments and relationships are a trigger of a sort is not healthy and not good, and the responsible party should opt out of said relationship.

Anakin wasn’t mentally ready. Padme knew this. Padme also knew of his infatuation with her. Again, his attraction to her isn’t on Padme. But her knowing that his attraction to her came from his childhood as a slave, and understanding that he liked her mainly because he hadn’t seen anything like her, and entering a relationship with him rather than encouraging him to explore is problematic. It goes back to the power imbalance.

But like, I shouldn’t have to explain Anakin’s mental state to justify why a 24 year old entering a relationship with a 19 year old is problematic. Padme was wrong. Even if Anakin was a perfectly normal kid, it was wrong. She knew him when he was a child, and watched him grow. When he expressed romantic feelings towards her, she should have shut it down.

She should have—it’s completely irresponsible and disgusting of her not to.

And you’re absolutely right, teenagers can and do molest children. There are well documented case of this. It’s not unheard of, sadly, and as a MSW student I’m all too aware of abuse in the household between younger and older siblings. The things I’ve heard are god awful, but you’re right, it’s a thing. Padme was a fully functioning teenager who knows right from wrong, and who had seemingly put boundaries between she and Anakin given the age gap to begin with.

This should have continued throughout the trilogy. I mean she is aware of the age gap.

And now to your point about women abusing men or boys—yeah, you’re right. Unfortunately there’s a huge double standard about abuse and molestation, and with women as perpetrators, people tend to overlook it and there’s a lot of shame in boys and men in brining it forward. I think this is why so many people actually let Padme off of the hook. But if Anakin was in Padme’s shoes, oh boy would there be riots and rightfully so.

All in all, Padme and Anakin’s relationship is disturbing. Padme takes advantage of Anakin, when in reality she should have set boundaries and spoken to Obi-Wan. She manipulated the relationship she had knowing Anakin was a child with a traumatized background that idolized her.

In a way I’m shocked because it’s so out of character for Padme, but it’s what’s canon.

#padme amidala #anakin skywalker #tw csa #tw child abuse #sci-fi #star wars #Anonymous #the prequels #revenge of the sith #attack of the clones #phantom menance

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bluescluelessly · 4 years

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Ooh for the confrontation prompts—maybe “You only push me away. Let me help.” With Obi-Wan and Anakin?

Obi-Wan isn't sure what he expected by attempting to talk to Anakin now. His assignment to the mission regarding Senator Amidala and Rush Clovis was... a poor choice, in his opinion. If it had been up to him, he would have assigned someone, anyone, else.

Anakin is too close to it, too close to Padmé. He thinks that Obi-Wan doesn't know it, but his padawan has never been very good at hiding secrets.

He doesn't know the full extent of their relationship, but he knows enough to come see how his friend is doing; he knows that something happened and Anakin is hurting, and could use someone to talk to.

Evidently, Anakin doesn't want that person to be him.

Obi-Wan doesn't know what he expected, he really doesn't. If Anakin hasn't spoken of it to him this long, why would that change now? Why did he think-- hope-- that something had changed, that reaching out to Anakin would be met with anything other than the usual closed-off annoyance.

When did Anakin stop talking to him? How did Obi-Wan fail so badly as his Master?

He stands, covering his own inner hurt with squared shoulders and a tight voice. "Then we should have no problems, should we." He knows when his help isn't welcome.

Obi-Wan gives his former student one last look before turning to leave, knowing he's been dismissed.

He knows Anakin wants him to go, and yet, through the clouded force on Coruscant, Obi-Wan thinks he feels a tug; a call to stay, to make one more effort.

Obi-Wan turns back, looking up just in time to catch the hint of regret on Anakin's face, and it steels his resolve. "You only push me away," he says, searching his friend's face. "... let me help."

"You can't," Anakin says, but it doesn't sound like a refusal. He appears to truly believe it, that he can't be helped-- at least not by Obi-Wan. "Not with this."

Obi-Wan wants to just disagree, insist that whatever it is, he will do all he can to help. But Anakin won't accept that and he knows it. "... Maybe I can't, but you won't know if you don't ask, Anakin." After a pause that lasts barely a moment, he continues. "And perhaps merely talking will help. I swear, nothing you say will leave this room if that's what you wish."

Anakin again, hesitates. "You might change your mind once you hear it."

"You have my word," Obi-Wan swears, taking a step back towards his friend. A fragile, foolish hope builds up in his chest. Maybe he doesn’t know when to quit. "Don't you trust me?"

The expression on his friend's face wavers, then falls, eyes downcast and ashamed. He drops onto his bed, sitting down. "I do, of course I do."

Obi-Wan feels equal parts concerned and overjoyed-- finally, finally his friend will speak to him. He keeps his relief hidden away, Anakin needs empathy and his concern, not his happiness.

"Then talk to me," he says, voice quiet and gentle. "Tell me what's going on, and we'll tackle it together."

Anakin is reluctant, but... he does.

He starts small, tells Obi-Wan of the crush he had on Padmé-- for years. He dances around the crux of it at first, but when Obi-Wan shows no judgement or disappointment... it's like a dam breaks.

Anakin starts talking, and he can't seem to stop.

Obi-Wan listens, lending his support when needed as Anakin tells him of his relationship with Padmé, of his secret wedding, of the nights they slip away to be together.

And then he tells Obi-Wan about Clovis, about how angry the man makes him.

It's not that he's jealous, or that he's worried Padmé will leave him for Clovis... it's that the man is a snake, that he's worried Padmé is blinded by her past with him. She's too forgiving, too kind, too willing to give second chances to those who don't deserve them.

There's something more there, but Obi-Wan doesn't push; Anakin knows now that he can talk to Obi-Wan, that he won't be judged. If he needs to talk about it, he'll come to him when he's ready to.

Anakin keeps going, telling Obi-Wan what he saw, how the force is still clouded around Clovis, how it still warns him that the man is dangerous, that he hasn't changed. But Padmé can't see that, she doesn't understand the Force. She'll forgive Clovis and she'll be hurt by him, again, and he feels so helpless. He should be able to stop it but he can't.

He tells Obi-Wan what he saw in her apartment, the forced kiss when he heard her telling him no. He tells Obi-Wan of how he reacted, of what he did to Clovis, of how Padmé asked him for a break, and then he falls silent, as if waiting for a condemnation.

Obi-Wan takes a moment to collect himself. This is no easy dilemma to tackle, but then, nothing with Anakin ever is. "Well," he sighs, "that is certainly a lot."

"Yeah," Anakin half-laughs, eyes fixed on his hands. "Sorry to just, dump all that on you at once like that."

"It's alright," Obi-Wan promises, reaching forward to place a hand on his friend's knee. "It seems like it was good for you to get that out, I'm just glad you did. Keeping your feelings bottled up like that isn't healthy."

At that, Anakin snorts. "It's what you do."

"Yes, well, and I'm the picture of mental health now, am I?" Obi-Wan asks, not afraid to make a jab at himself.

"I see," Anakin returns, a small smile making its way to his face. "So your new teaching method is 'do as I say, not as I do'," and, well. Obi-Wan supposes he deserves that one.

"I am no longer your teacher," he responds, shaking his head fondly, "but yes, it seems I have picked up a few bad habits. Ones which we should both break ourselves of, starting today, hm?"

Anakin looks up, an interested gleam in his eye. "So does this mean I get to hear you spill your guts out now?"

"I was thinking I'd talk to Mace..." Obi-Wan starts, then loses his straight face at the look of incredulous anger that crosses Anakin's expression. "Of course I'll talk to you, Padawan. Just not now. First, we need to discuss what to do about this rather sticky situation."

Anakin huffs, but looks pleased at the promise to get Obi-Wan to talk to him later. "Is there anything I can do? She asked for space, I'm not going to go and force my presence on her when I'm not wanted."

"You're right about that," Obi-Wan agrees, "it would do more harm than good... personally, I think you should trust your wife, Anakin. She's a smart woman, she is more than capable of taking care of herself."

"I know that, but..." Anakin's expression crumples again. "What if she gets hurt, and I wasn't there to protect her? All because I scared her?"

Obi-Wan brings his hand up in contemplation, knuckle resting on his lip and his thumb under his beard. "Just because she's asked for space from you, doesn't mean she must go unprotected. You're right, Clovis poses a danger to her. I can request she be given an escort, or perhaps guard her myself if that would put you more at ease." He squeezes Anakin's knee briefly. "But padawan, whatever happens, you mustn't blame yourself for it. And you must trust Padmé. You are certain that you love each other, aren't you?"

Anakin nods, no hesitation in it.

"Then trust her. When she's ready, she will welcome you back. And she will appreciate you for respecting her boundaries."

"How do you know?"

Obi-Wan looks down now, sighing softly. "Because Satine asked me to leave, too." He's quiet, the wound left in his heart by her loss still fresh, still hurting. "She told me to go, to be a jedi. She could have asked me to stay and give up everything for her and I would have. But she asked me to leave, so I did."

He pauses, still not sure if he regrets it or not. "And then when she was ready to, she welcomed me back into her life."

"But--" Anakin stops himself, hesitates, then continues anyways. "You lost her."

It hurts, but Obi-Wan must admit he is correct. "... yes, I lost her." He says, tired. So, so tired. "She-- she died, yes. But it is better to have loved her and lost her, than to have loved her and hurt her. To have lost her love, or to have never had it at all." He holds back the wave of sadness that threatens to overwhelm him. He needs to be strong now, for Anakin's sake. There with be time to cry later.

"All you can do is love her, Anakin. Love her, respect her wishes, and trust her to be safe. And if even then, she is injured, or lost... there will be grief, but that love won't be gone. She will be one with the force, and the force is with you."

Anakin puts his hand over Obi-Wan's, eyes shut in acquiesce. "... you're right. I know you're right, it's just... hard."

Obi-Wan nods, silently agreeing. "It will be. But you needn't worry about losing her prematurely, Anakin. I will make sure she has an escort, even if I must guard her myself."

"Thank you," Anakin sighs, sounding relieved. "I'd feel better knowing you were with her."

"Then I'll see what I can do," Obi-Wan promises, standing back up.

Anakin stands as well, stopping him with a hand on his arm. "... you aren't mad I'm breaking the code?"

And now, Obi-Wan gives his former student a quiet smile. "It isn't against the code to be in love, Anakin. Just as it isn't against the code to be sad, or angry, or scared. I feel I have been a bad example to you; I held so much back during your training, I never showed you how to process your emotions in a healthy way. We'll simply have to both learn how to now, and we'll work on it as we go." Obi-Wan grips his friend's upper arm briefly. "We'll talk more later, for now, I believe there's a senator who needs protecting."

"Alright," Anakin agrees, stepping back. "May the force be with you, Master."

#star wars #anidala #obitine #brobikin #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #anakin #fanfic #sfw fanfic #sfw #meme #casecreates #prompt fill #sad boyz #sad boy hours

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duxhess-kryzewan · 4 years

Note

Jealous Satine please!

- Jealousy -

- Or, 5 times Satine was jealous-

Jumping from planet to planet with minimal supplies typically results in them having to, at some point, slip undetected into civilization to procure basic supplies. It always made her uneasy, especially after their attempt of gathering supplies on Draboon ended with a run in with bounty hunters. It seemed no matter where they went someone was always right on their tail.

The market place was crowded, which allowed them to blend in rather seamlessly. Obi-Wan took charge of gathering what they would need - she was getting better at living hand to mouth, but he was still much more adept at knowing what to get - and she busied herself with looking at the various stalls. Once upon a time she would have been able to indulge in the various goods.

She glances around in search for Obi-Wan (straying too far from him made her a bit nervous) and finally spotted him chatting with on of the stall workers.

She had only managed a few steps in his direction before the wide smile on his face stopped her dead in her tracks.

The girl was young, perhaps just a year shy of Satine's age, her dark skin in stark contrast with the paleness of the rest of the shop owners around her. She was laughing at something Obi-Wan had said, elbows propped up on the counter as she leans dangerously close to him and in an instant she can feel anger bubbling in the pit of her stomach.

The girl reaching out and touching out and touching his hand was the last straw.

"Ben," She says, marching over in his direction, "Are you ready to go?"

Obi-Wan looks surprised at her question, clearly he had not been expecting her to be so eager to leave so soon.

"If you are," He says lightly, "I was just getting the last of the things we need."

The girl - who was alarmingly much prettier up close - bats her eyes at the young Jedi and it only served to infuriate Satine more.

Normally she would never crass, she was raised in nobility after all, but she can't bring herself to care as she reaches out and briskly grabs hold of Obi-Wans hand. It was perhaps a bit distasteful for her to so publicly stake her claim on him, but she was no Duchess in this world.

"I'm ready."

The girl looks suddenly dejected as they walk away, and while Satine almost never act that way towards another person, she can't bring herself to care as she all but drags Obi-Wan through the market, hand still gripping his tightly. _____

Obi-Wan was, in her opinion, one of the better looking men to have ever graced her presence. It wasn't hard for her to understand why some of the unknowing women across their time on the run were utterly taken with him, even if he was too innocent to realize it.

That said, strangers were one thing, but a member of Sundari Palace was different.

Of course her safe return had been filled with everyone needing her direct attention. The aftermath of civil warfare was not easily navigated and it took away what little time she and Obi-Wan had left before he was due to return to the temple, but she tried to sneak away when she could.

She managed to avoid her guards long enough to slip away unnoticed and head towards their normal meeting place in the gardens. It was the most secluded area they could sneak off too without being seen and she would be lying if she said the thrill of getting caught didn't make it even more exciting.

She glances out on of the ornate windows that overlooks the grounds, hoping to spot him before making her way down, but was greeted with a sight that sent a wave of jealousy through her.

There gathered around her Jedi was a group of handmaidens and advisors, all staring dreamily at him while he holds his lightsaber in hand. No doubt they were all smitten with his boyish charm and warrior ways. She could understand, but the gaggle of girls were cutting into their time and what little they had left.

She huffs. Yes, she would certainly find something for them to do that was far, far away form her Jedi knight. _____

Satine had her fair share of jealous moments in her youth; what young girl doesn't? Especially when they involved the first person she ever loved.

But now that she was older, with a few more years experience with controlling her emotions and learning what really is and isn't worth getting upset over. When it came to her relationship with Obi-Wan, or whatever it was one would classify their entanglement as, she came to understand that other women really didn't pose any sort of threat. After all, he barely had the courage to conduct any illicit affairs with her much less another woman.

That said, she didn't realize that she would at times have to fight for him to take some time away from his former Padawan.

"You're back awfully late." She commented when he finally entered her Coruscant apartment.

"My apologies," He says, draping his cloak on the back of her couch, "Anakin had required my help."

It takes her a bit of self control not to roll her eyes, "Yes, so you've said."

Its a bit harsh on her part to be so detached, but their time together is always too short and she would be leaving Coruscant soon. Anakin got to have him almost everyday, why couldn't she be given a measly few hours of that time?

"Are you alright Satine?" Obi-Wan asks, and instantly her jealousy is mixed with guilt. Always so well meaning even when he was neglectful.

"Perfectly fine." She answer, glancing over to him, "Tomorrow is my last day here."

Some selfish part of her feels relieved at his dejected expression. It gives her at least some peace of mind knowing that he would miss her when she's gone. Still, she can't help but envy how much time Skywalker gets with him.

"I'm aware." He says lightly. Clearly he had picked up on her sour mood.

"Are you going to spend the last few hours I have here or at the temple?"

Despite her best efforts to sound unbothered she slips up in tone for just a second and she knows that he undoubtedly picked up on it.

"Here, I should think." He answers.

Finally she turns to face him and takes his hand gently in her own.

"You better." ___________

Siri Tachi was a name she was quite familiar with despite never have actually having met the woman.

Obi-Wan had spoken of her in the past; about the fight they had originally gotten into before they were even chosen to be padawans to the times they spent back and forth saving each others life. Obi-Wan had respected her, recalling how she was exceptionally strong with the force and was just as lethal as she was introspective. Satine had known even back when they were on the run that Siri was someone he held in high regard.

Though she hadn't proof at the time, she suspected that perhaps they were once even more than friends, though Obi-Wan had gone on to assure her that there was nothing between them other than mutual respect.

And perhaps that was true on Obi-Wans part, but after seeing Siri and him in person together she certainly couldn't say the same from the other woman.

Now that the galaxy had declared peace, she was able to visit Coruscant more often than not. Visiting Padme was always her excuse, and no one batted an eye at her sneaking off late in the evening to see her friend. Of course, she ended up with Obi-Wan more often than not.

But here they were, gathered at the Senate building where Bail Organa had organized a dinner party, the few Jedi he was familiar with invited along with Satine and of course, Siri Tachi.

Satine had to admit, the woman was beautiful, with her dark blonde locks and pale eyes. She was a bit younger than Satine had expect, at least two to three years below Obi-Wan. And maybe Obi-Wan really was as oblivious as she liked to think or maybe he was too polite to indulge her, but there was no mistaking the way that Siri Tachi was staring at him. She would know that look anywhere. After all, its the way she looks at him too and it stirs up something in the pit of her stomach.

"Having a nice time?"

He finally broke away from his conversation with Siri to approach her., something she wish he would have done sooner. But she understands; she'll never be able to have any public claim on him. That doesn't mean she has to like another woman who clearly has feelings for Obi-Wan occupying all of his time.

"Of course," She says, "Bail does know how to throw a party. I think it's lovely of him to invite some of your fellow Jedi, rarely do I see any of them aside from you and Anakin."

There's a bit of puzzlement in his eyes though he doesn't vocalize it aloud, "It was very kind of him to extent the invitation."

"Your friend from earlier," She finds herself saying against her better judgment, "That's Siri, is it not? I remember you mentioning her before."

He nods hesitantly, "It is. We haven't seen much of one another since the war started."

Satine takes a healthy sip of the wine in her hands before speaking, "You two seem rather close."

"We're friends," He confirms skeptically, "We've known each other since we were younglings."/

Satine spares a glimpse across the room in Siri's direction and finds her stealing glances at the Jedi master, much to his unawareness. Part of her pities the other Jedi, she understands just how easy it is to fall for Obi-Wan, and the other part resents her for it.

"Just friends?" She presses, and she can all but see the dots suddenly connecting in Obi-Wans head of what she was hinting at.

"Are you jealous, Satine?" He asks lowly, because truthfully this was not a conversation to be having in the presence of so many witnesses.

"Should I be?" She retorts.

His confused expression shifts into amusement, "Who would have thought the poised and proper Duchess of Mandalore would be jealous of anyone."

She glares, "I’m not jealous. I’m simply pointing out the fact that your fellow Jedi master seems absolutely smitten with you, whether you know it or not.”

He spares a glance Siri’s way, who quickly averts her eyes and goes back to her conversation with Ahsoka when he does.

“Siri is a valued friend and ally,” He says quietly, “Anything more than that is purely on her side of things.”

Another mouthful of wine was her only response because really, she knows its silly of her to be concerned that Obi-Wan was anything less than honest.

“Satine,” He leans a bit closer than propriety would dictate to whisper in her ear, “You haven’t a reason in the galaxy to think I have eyes for anyone but you in this room.” _____

She plops down on her - their - bed with a huff. He hadn’t so much as said five words to her since the arrival of her guest and it was driving her mad.

Was it a preposterous reason to be upset? Absolutely. Did it stop her from feeling such? Certainly not.

Of course the entire visit was by surprise. She had specifically arranged her schedule around his brief leave in order to spend the day with him only for someone else to snatch away his attention at the last second. It wasn’t even particularly anyones fault, but that fact alone wasn’t enough to prevent her from feeling so dejected.

“Going to bed so soon?”

His voice startles her. She had been so deep in her own thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed he had occupied the empty space of the doorway.

“I am rather tired.” She says with a shrug, “And tomorrow I’m to sit in with the Senator meeting. You know how much that takes out of me.”

He grins and makes his way to sit beside her on the bed.

“I haven’t seen you much today.” He comments, bringing a hand up to rub soothingly across her back. The sensation of his touch sent a spark through her and sometimes she wonders if that electricity everytime they touch would ever fade. She certainly hoped not.

“Well, you’ve been rather preoccupied with our guest. I didn’t want to intrude.”

In an uncharacteristic move, he rolls his eyes at her.

“Leia is a toddler Satine, she requires a bit more attention than you or I. Besides, I thought you loved to see the children.”

She matches his eye roll with a glare, “I do love those children, though I also appreciate a bit of notice before Padme and Anakin drop them off on the one free day I arranged for you and I to spend time together.”

Obi-Wan, bemused by her words, smiles adoringly, “Well I hardly think they planned for Luke to get sick today, and we did tell them that anytime they needed us all they had to do was ask.”

Satine slumps her shoulders a bit. He’s right of course, they had said that, she in particular emphasizing it to the couple once upon a time. Oh how she wished she could take back those words some days.

“I know,” She relents, “It’s not anyones fault, and you know I love Leia as if she were my own, though she does have a preference for you I have to say. Why do you think she was clinging on you for the entirety of the day? She would have thrown a fit if I intruded on her play time with her favorite uncle.”

He smiles widely at her and she can’t help but smile too. Yes, it was beyond silly for her to be jealous of a toddler and the undivided attention that Obi-Wan gave her. It was simply just a matter of bad timing.

“A fair point my dear, I see why you kept your distance at times. Best not disturb a behaving child,” He leans forward and presses a kiss to her temple, lips lingering a bit longer than necessary, “But I think she’s asleep for the night. Perhaps I can use the last remaining hours of the day to make it up to you?”

She grins, “I suppose I’ll allow it.”

He leans forward and kisses her deeply and all the worries from the day suddenly disappear under his touch.

#obitine #obi wan x satine #obitine fanfic #obitine fanfiction #obitine prompt #obitine fluff #jealous!satine #clueless!obi wan

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whumpbby · 3 years

Text

I finished typing and now I feel I have to preface it with a: this is all a monologue about Jedi and Force and Lucas’ inability to show the good story he wants to tell - just a warning. This is in no way meant to contradict the other post with that quote floating around or argue against it - just my own rambling coming to a conclusion I keep struggling with when it comes to SW universe and the ways it makes no sense to me and how I feel deep in my bones that Lucas is a crap storyteller.

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I don’t know why, but for all the interesting concepts Lucas talks about, Anakin’s fall never sat well with me. In time I came to the conclusion I would respond better if the Jedi culture surrounding it wasn’t so contradictory to itself.

And if he wasn’t so heavily leaning on the concept of the ‘pure love’ that is unconditional and undemanding and ‘unselfish’. Tldr: that love does not exist outside of poetry and romance dramas and imagination. Like every other emotion humans feel, love is conditional.

Take the first trilogy - I got that. The Jedi were largely missing and there was not much lore-wise, but the vibe it gave was measured and peaceful and mindful, and all the things that stood against the Empire - that represented the Dark Side in a very concise way. It wasn’t too nuanced, so we could buy it in this very simple ‘princes kidnapped b ya dragon’ story. This is as good as Lucas gets.

But then the prequels happened and Jedi became this weird, extremely specific, but conflicting idea. They are not supposed to take sides in politics - except when they do. They are not supposed to kill - except when they do, with freaking relish. They are not supposed to love or hate or allow emotions dictate their ways - oh, except when they do. And they can have sex - just not sex with someone they want to settle down with (oh boy, is that a signifier of a story written by a guy or what?). All seems to be ‘except when they do, as long as it can be adequately justified to make them look good’.

And I do have an issue with the idea of ‘Anakin was too old to join, he was already attached to his mother’ which is, when you think about it, is insane. Learning to control your emotions and letting go of your wants, Buddhist way, fine.

Aiming to train children to not be attached to their parents? What? How young a child has to be for that attachment forms? How is a meditation and repeating mantras going to help a 5-year old who is missing their mom at the temple? How do you even expect to train a child out of missing their mom??? How is it NOT better to get an older child that can reason above the instinctual and hardwired need for their mother?

But let’s say Anakin’s attachment to his mother was ‘selfish’ from the beginning - but, that’s the thing, was it? Was it really? They were slaves and she was his only family, okay, obviously that made his attachment stronger and more layered than, say, a normal middle-class Coruscanti kid who could love their mom without constant fear that any day they can be separated forever by someone who didn’t give a shit. In that sense, yes, Anakin was desperately attached to his mom and afraid of loosing her - there was fear in him. Right, I’m there with you, Yoda.

But the movies show us that the way Jedi seem to approach these hard subjects is by not approaching them at all - oh, well, we can’t take him in. He had a difficult childhood and there are issues attached, get him out of here.

In a galaxy full of races and issues and the Force being tied to any and all creatures in any and all circumstances - this was the hard line Jedi were drawing. In essence, either only accepting kids young enough to not remember their parents (and I see absolutely no issues whatsoever that could happen here, nope) or with childhoods perfect enough not to have any issues whatsoever. Anyone else? Adults that discovered Force when they were older? Kids like Anakin with hard childhoods? Creatures that were either culturally or chemically wired differently enough that the tight reins Jedi held over their emotions weren’t possible for them? Nope. Go away. You are a bad person in the making.

If you spend a moment contemplating, you will realise this is such a white privileged guy way to think about it. And if you stick your head into the microwave for a couple seconds, you can almost understand how Lucas thought this is something profound and mystical.

No that I think about it... I always thought Sith were freaking clowns - their philosophy makes no sense, their ‘rule of two’ is hilarious, everything about them is just so badly designed and thought out, and who would ever decide to join of that creepy cult of their own volition? It made no sense!

But, as an answer to the egalitarian and contradictory ways of the Jedi - Sith make all the sense to exist. And let’s forget about the Light and Dark (that I don’t believe exist above the ways of personal emotional expression that in time trains the Force around a person in certain ways - like a person can train their brain in and out of anxiety ofr example), but focusing strictly on philosophy - yeah, being a Sith makes sense when any other way is barred form someone by no fault of their own. And barred with an excuse they are a bad seed anyway.

“You fear/hate/desire hence you can’t access the Force with us” = “Well fuck you, then, I will access the Force in my own way, using these exact emotions!”

Like, Sith are clowns, but Jedi suck in their own very special way and their fall was just waiting to happen.

I get a strange feeling that Lucas created Jedi as a class of a warrior monk in DnD and then scrambled to create their enemies out of the simplest contradictions. Light-dark. Love-Hate. Peace-Fear. Etc. But because Jedi were so simple - once they started to gain popularity and he had to expand their lore and layer on the philosophy, he hit a wall. Or rather, the bottom of the kiddy pool. Because a ‘warrior monk’ is not an a ‘good’ class, but he wanted them to be mostly warriors, but also a force of good in the galaxy, because Star Wars is the same simple story repeated again and again with a new set of characters (regardless of how much fake politics is thrown in to obscure that fact) so this whole universe is basically built on giving Jedi reasons to fight and kill, and adequately justifying them. And then the Dark Side had to catch up by being more ridiculously evil at every turn - accidentally unmasking the way Jedi philosophy falls apart under closer scrutiny.

So like, to make a full circle, the one thing the prequels did well was to show Anakin’s fall (and I am not gonna argue, it was effective and he is a villain of this story) but they also presented - I think against the creator’s intention - why it was pretty much inevitable. Not because Palpatine was there to whisper poison, or because Force itself strived for ‘balance’ (even though the latter is a hilarious idea I love to contemplate) - but because Jedi, as presented in the movies-media around them, as a philosophy and way of life is inherently contradictory and unsustainable from the point of being a, well, a breathing, thinking being. The ‘selfish love’ argument would work so much better if it wasn’t presented with an example of a kid who was born a slave and the people who saw it as a strike against his character, and did very little to address the specific issues that could arise from that before it was too late.

Would it fucking kill them to let go of their strict training routine and ensure that his specific emotional needs were met? That Shimi was, I don’t know, NOT A SLAVE. They seem to interfere into politics just fine when need arises - but not when it’s a sandy planet in the ass-end of the universe no one cares about. Then no, we can’t liberate one slave. That would be acting in self-interest - not in the interest of not allowing one of the strongest members of out order to fall into the ruin we have forseen form the beginning.

It would work better is if Anakin’s ‘selfishness’ was presented as his inability to let Padme leave him for someone else/just leave him - not to be unwilling to let her die.

Think about it for a moment - he wasn’t presented with the idea of Padme leaving him. With the idea of his mother not loving him anymore. He was firmly and, form his point of view, believably, presented with the idea of both of them DYING. Which actually happened to his mom, solidifying the fear in his mind.

Yes, he was not meant to go on a rampage and kill the ones who killed Shimi - but wasn’t he? The Jedi are not against killing. Only killing in self-interest I guess - when self-interest is not one’s life and their political affiliation or their ‘job’ at hand, that is. Revenge is a no-no, but a military retaliation is a yes-go. Can’t kill anyone who wronged me - but I can kill those who wronged a person who gives me orders. How does that work within a Jedi doctrine?

How, in good conscience, can you present this scenario, George, and then try to spin it into this big philosophical bullcrap about unselfish love???? Jedi murdered people over political squabbles - but I guess that’s okay because they weren’t invested??? And that’s better?!?!? George! What the fuck! You are such a bloke my head hurts!

In case of Anakin, Jedi were essentially Elsa’s parents. I pretty much despise Elsa and the film she crawled out of, and I personally don’t like Anakin as a character either, so this is not stanning in any way, but their issues scream ‘I was raised by well-meaning idiots’ and shows the level of botched storytelling I just can’t reconcile.

Which, you know what?

Luke, who spent years studying Jedi ways and taking them into himself?

I can believe than this Luke would try to kill his nephew at the barest whiff of the Dark Premonition instead of helping him manage his motions in a somewhat healthy way - that seems to be exactly what a real Jedi would do, after all.

#star wars #rant?#thoughts?#rambling #jedi suck blue balls #and so do sith #sw #lucas should never write on anything that isn't a post-it note

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lokiwritess · 4 years

Text

Gone - Obi-Wan Kenobi

Sooo... this is dramatic (except the end?) Lemme know what you think? It’s def not my fav thing

"...Survived, he has not." Yodas last words knocked the wind out of your lungs. Obi-Wan Kenobi, General and Jedi Master had not survived his injuries. He was gone. You would never see his face again, nor would you ever hear his voice or feel his presence near you in the force.

The force, which buzzed with negative emotions from the people around the room. They rushed into your mind like waves, making it harder to breathe than it already was. Panic spread in your body, making you think you would suffocate on these emotions.

It became all you could focus on, with Yoda's words echoing around in your head. The room, the people around you - it all seemed to slip away until it was nothing but a muffled noise somewhere else.

"Y/n?" Ahsoka's gentle voice startled you. It forced you out of your trance, back into reality. She watched as you turned your head to her, eyes empty, void of all emotion other than shock.

It should have been you. It should have been you that died. He was a general, a master. You were only another Jedi Knight, assigned to help him out. Now, who would be the one to lead the 212th? Who was going to tell them - tell Commander Cody - that their leader was gone? Or did they already know?

Ahsoka flinched slightly at the emotions radiating from you. She was determined to help, to do something. She couldn't help her own master - force, Anakin didn't talk to anyone and barely looked at her - so she at least wanted to try with you. But somehow she knew that her words would make no difference. They wouldn't ease your pain and they wouldn't bring Obi-Wan back home. Yet words were all she had to offer at the moment.

"I'm so sorry." Thankfully, your half shut-down mind reacted for you, before you even grasped the words that had come out of the Togrutan's mouth. As the wall of numbness that you had built around you crumbled, your feet instinctively whirled you around and moved you out of the room. That way at least, no one saw the way your heart broke. No one saw the pain in your eyes.

Nothing seemed to matter anymore. The Jedi Code called upon Jedi to accept death as inevitable, a normal part of life. But how could you ever accept that Obi-Wan was gone?

_________________________________

The Commander of the 212th had tried his best to reach you, somehow. But how do you help someone that doesn't want to be helped? Suddenly, you were in charge of the 212th, thrust into a new situation when you could barely stand to be around people. Suddenly you were expected to keep fighting in the war when your biggest fight yet was to get out of bed in the mornings. Even Cody - bred on Kamino to value duty and rules above anything else - always knew the way that you and Obi-Wan looked at each other was special. He knew the way you felt about each other, even if no one mentioned it.

You adhered to the rules; But the looks exchanged between you and the small gestures of love you'd shared, like brief brushes of your hands in passing or checking on each other after complicated missions: they spoke of mutual affection.

"I don't know what else we can do.", Ahsoka admitted quietly.

You could feel their eyes on you as you sat in the empty corridor. You had your arms wrapped around your knees, trying to shut out the feeling of worry each of them held. Cody looked at Anakin, trying to look for guidance where there was only a mask, hiding the Jedi's true feelings.

"This behavior is extremely dangerous, Sir."

"I'll take care of it.", Anakin spoke up.

He didn't say anything else, but at least he spoke at all, Ahsoka noted. Anakin had been dealing with his grief over his former Master in a similar way than you had - which was not at all and preferably alone. To an extent, hearing his voice was almost a shock, especially to hear it laced with such worry and an underlying softness.

Anakin didn't care if the other two were watching. He sat down against the wall, right next to you, taking your focus off of Ahsoka and Cody. Instead, your focus was drawn to his presence. You were almost taken aback when you felt how exhausted he really was. But the utter loneliness he felt resonated with your deepest and darkest feelings, making you sigh involuntarily.

Quiet ruled the space between you for a moment, as Anakin struggled with the right words to use. But he knew the truth. "I know that no matter what I'm going to say, it won't make it okay.", he started carefully, one hand coming up to rest on the side of your arm. "But you're not alone. I'm right here. That's all that matters right now."

Anakin had always been your friend since you met him when he was a little boy. He was like family to you. But more important than anything else: He was the only one in a position to truly understand your feelings. He was after all Obi-Wan's former padawan. Ahsoka and Cody could only watch as you broke into tears, finally crumbling, finally letting yourself feel again. Sobs racked through your body, as Anakin pulled you against his chest and firmly wrapped his arms around you. He put his chin on the top of your head with a sigh.

"I understand. I miss him too."

At Anakin's words, your sobs grew harder, and he reacted by pulling you even closer and saying nothing more. It would take time for you both to heal from losing someone so close to you. And even though you both instinctively shut down and shut everyone else out, you somehow knew deep down that Obi-Wan would want neither of you to go through this alone.

_________________________________

Too much was happening around you and in your head all at once. Too many emotions and thoughts pressed on your mind. There, right in front of you, stood the man you loved. Very much alive, healthy even. And the look in his eyes was one of utter relief. He looked so relieved and happy, to see you and to be there with you. A stark contrast to the dark and shocked look that you could see on Anakin's face.

A lie. A secret mission. A manipulation.

A smile adorned Obi-Wan's face, one that under normal circumstances would have made your knees weak and sped up your heartbeat. You weren't functioning. Cody's questions had faded out and everyone, even Anakin's angry eyes were focused on you, to see how you would react.

In hindsight, you felt a little bad. But at that moment, the utter betrayal you felt and the confusion... they made your adrenaline spike. The loud sound that your flat hand made when it connected to Obi-Wans Cheek echoed in the room. His head turned by the force of your slap, and as your hand fell, his own came up to rub his hurting cheek. Tears stung in your eyes as you let out a frustrated and angry scoff.

Without knowing what to do, in complete adrenaline-mode, you turned around and took angry and fast strides out of the room.

"I suppose I deserved that.", Obi-Wan pressed out through the stinging pain. But no one laughed. He had a lot to fix.

#clone wars imagine #star wars imagine #star wars x reader #clone wars x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan kenobi imagine #louistrying #obi-wan kenobi

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ceasarslegion · 3 years

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So im making this young pre-OT Luke Skywalker playlist right now and it made me think about how many reddit-type fanboys think he's whiny and over-emotional

But I never really got that vibe from him. I mean first of all, he's 19 in A New Hope, and in his early to mid 20s in Empire and Jedi, and have y'all ever met a 19-25 year old who wasn't still a bit emotionally unstable? With everything he's been through, I'm actually amazed at how mature he is for his age. He could've easily cracked under all that pressure, but he grit his teeth and braced his feet and stood strong to the bitter end. And I recently watched the OT again for the 500th time in my life because I was showing it to my sister, and I didn't really see him complain all that much, and he definitely didn't whine.

Sure, he was a bit hesitant and freaked out his first time on the Falcon and it made him a bit jumpy, but he also like, just saw his parental figures brutally die, his childhood home destroyed, and in two hours he's making his first ever trip into space, cut him some slack. He was having a recordly rough day. I'd say that was just some light acting out from all that emotion he was forced to bottle up, and I REALLY don't blame him. Fuck man, I'd be catatonic if I were in his position.

Other than that though, I think people perceive Luke as whiny and over-emotional because he doesn't really fit into this hyper-masculine role that most other male leads fill in mainstream cinema. He's shown crying on screen in every single OT film for starters, which is extremely rare for a male lead. He's not super built or tall or toned or muscular, he's more of a short king with a lithe figure and this really soft face with a bit of meat on his cheeks. He's also not an emotional brick wall like men are kind of expected to be. You know what Luke's feeling at every moment because it's written all over his face and his body language, and he's open to a fault about it.

I think that's why he's perceived that way tbh. Luke is very antithetical to what the typical Hollywood male lead is expected to be, which in itself is a product of toxic masculinity. Men aren't allowed to be emotional outside of anger and stoicism lest they be mistaken for homosexual (homophobia is also a massive part of toxic masculinity, which I think is why I love the gay Luke interpretation so much; it just makes him this all-encompassing spit in the face of most if not all aspects of toxic masculinity). But Luke has this really wide emotional range that mostly leaves out anger and stoicism. Even in ROTJ when Palpatine is trying to tempt him over to the dark side, he SAYS he can feel Luke's anger and hatred, but you can't really see that on his expression. It's not stoic either, Luke's "anger" seems to come out as this hesitant conflict that gives him sad eyes, not raging ones like Anakin had in the prequels. Luke doesn't seem like he'd be capable of feeling genuine anger, honestly. And when he does snap in that fight with Vader, it feels more like a cornered mouse with nothing else to lose jumping at a predator for its life, not vengeful wrath. Luke only snaps like that when he absolutely has to and has exhausted all other options.

And another thing-he shows genuine affection and joy for his friends! And PHYSICAL affection!! He runs up to Han and Leia and Chewie just to give them hugs and smile with them, which almost never happens with mainstream male leads in films like these. They're always portrayed as brooding and tortured, but Luke lets himself be happy and show his friends how much he loves them, which is super rare in film.

I really love the healthy masculinity Luke is shown to have in the OT and I think that's also why I really hated his characterization in TLJ. It felt like they were trying to make him that brooding, tortured male lead when it just doesn't fit him. He wouldn't be crotchety and mean like that of he had to endure tragedy, he would be sad and hesitant to get close to anyone because he knows he can't close his heart off to other people even if he tries. He would hold Rey at an arm's length, not bear his fangs and actively shove her away.

Anyway, yeah. I think reddit fanboys see Luke as whiny and over-emotional because unfortunately, men have been so trained to be unemotional brick walls that seeing an average-looking man show actual, healthy emotion feels like being whiny and over-emotional at best, and a threat to their own masculinity as worst.

I just really love how healthy Luke's masculinity is though, I could write papers on it

#star wars #shut up dames

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whirlybirbs · 4 years

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miss birbs you mentioned casually a few fics back (in an order 66 one about obi & handmaiden) something about a force bond? and? i was wondering if!!! if obi and her are a dyad? can u talk about it!!! i am in love with them

gasp!

not a lot of people picked up on it!

the fic you’re referencing is this one, and the line i cooked up goes a lil’ like this:

“Sense it, you do.”

You still, frozen in place. Outside, the void of space rattles on. The stars once held promise – a future, a far-off dream. Now, they only hold uncertainties and fear. You worry your lip as you take pause, eyes turned to the wise Jedi Master who now watches you with a measured level of gentility.

“Yes, yes,” he hums, again, then speaks with one raised claw, “Sense Master Kenobi’s suffering, you do.”

Your mouth moves, but no words escape.

“Bound by the force you two are,” Yoda says as he stands, “Tell, I can, for cadence of his life-force I know. Echoes, it does, within you.”

so, in this winding arc of obi-wan & her relationship, everything is relatively healthy. he even talks about, in one of their earlier meetings, about feeling different about her than he did satine – satine was a roaring forest fire while the handmaiden (who we need a nickname for asap) is more of like a controlled, stoked and cared-for hearth fire.

the reason is: i imagine these two have a strong force bond.

master yoda can sense it – obi-wan’s cadence within the force mirrors hers. to highly attuned force users, that sort of thing is a dead give-away.

there’s a sense of security and finality in their relationship – never once has the other doubted their togetherness; not even when he was away for years after they first met, or when he’s off fighting during the sieges in the outer rim during the clone wars.

they both know it, deep in their hearts. it’s just… unspoken. best not to bother something that is maintaining them both through their hardships and bringing them strength in a hidden affair.

i imagine this means they both shares dreams – nightmares especially. they can feel, vaguely, when the other is in some sort of pain, be it physical or emotional, and that sense is stronger when they’re together. they cannot, however, cross time and space to see one another like a certain force dyad we all know.

after all, the handmaiden is a force sensitive, not a force user. to her, her connection to the force operates just like a heightened sense of intuition or a strong ability to empathize.

padmé jokes that the two of them can read each other’s minds; in reality, it’s just a shared gut feeling and intimate knowing of the other person.

this is another explanation as to why jealousy and greed and fear don’t impact obi & her as it later does anakin & padmé. while ani’s got a volatile connection to the force, obi’s is more steady. obi takes things in stride, as does the handmaiden, while padmé and anakin have habits of focusing on the future.

anyways,,, i have a lot of thoughts about this and!!!!! thank you for asking!!!!

#i feel like #she needs some sort of nickname #what would obi call her?#aside from darling and my dear #hmmmmm #obi-wan kenobi x reader #nightfall & daybreak

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dettiot · 4 years

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Fic: late-night interruption 2/?

late-night interruption Author: dettiot Rating: G (for now) Summary: When Obi-Wan receives a late-night comm from Sabé, he’s not sure what to expect. But what he learns will change many lives . . . and the fate of the Republic.

Also available on AO3!

XXX

It had been a long time since Obi-Wan felt this speechless. He was having trouble remembering any of those times, though, because he was still boggling at Sabé’s words.

Senator Amidala was pregnant? And Anakin--Anakin Skywalker--was the father?

What? Just … what?

Apparently, he had said that aloud, because the Senator’s former handmaiden responded.

“The senator is seven months pregnant,” Sabé said quietly. “She has kept her pregnancy as secret as possible, because of both her and Master Skywalker’s positions.”

Of course. Padmé was an intelligent woman. She knew pregnancy could be damaging to her career. And with a Jedi for a father, given the Jedi’s current poor standing within the galaxy, it would be doubly damaging for her.

Not to mention what would happen to Anakin if it became known he fathered a child. It was such a glaring violation of the Jedi Code, Obi-Wan wasn’t sure what to think.

Anakin was smarter than this--how could he have allowed this to happen? How could he have let himself form such an attachment to the Senator, to the point of creating a baby, when he knew what the consequences would be upon discovery?

Suddenly, in the midst of his confusion and shock, another question occurred to him. A question that made his whole body go cold with hurt.

How could Anakin have done this without telling him?

It was like discovering something you relied on to hold up your life had collapsed underneath you, bringing your whole life down around you. Because he thought Anakin trusted him. He thought Anakin knew he could tell Obi-Wan anything.

Swallowing, Obi-Wan tried to focus on the problem at hand and not the avalanche of hurt and sadness sweeping over him. “Is the Senator all right? And . . . and the child?”

“She’s receiving excellent care,” Sabé said. “She asked me to come stay with her a week ago, to help her handle her workload as she approached the end of her pregnancy. But nearly as soon as I arrived, she apparently began experiencing contractions. The Senator thought it was false labor, but it’s clear now that the baby is coming, and soon.”

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, accepting Sabé’s words. “And . . . and she wants Anakin with her?”

“Of course. She wants her husband with her,” Sabé said crisply, as if he was a moron.

“Husband?!?” Obi-Wan yelped in a most undignified manner. He should probably be ashamed of his reaction, but . . . husband?!?

Sabé blinked. “Um . . . yes. The Senator and Master Skywalker are married.”

He slumped down in his chair, his mind spinning. When he felt a flash of panic, one that didn’t match what he was feeling, Obi-Wan nearly groaned. In the wake of all this, his shields had fallen.

And thanks to his bond with Anakin, his former Padawan had been awakened by Obi-Wan’s shock, confusion and disbelief.

XXX

When had he fallen asleep? And why was he awake now?

Anakin blinked, looking around his quarters and rubbing his eyes. The last thing he remembered, he had stretched out on his bed, wishing that there had been a message from Padmé waiting for him. They hadn’t been able to talk for the last three days, due to the last battle and their schedules not syncing up. And the lack of communication with his wife was making him a bit crazy with worry.

If only he could talk to Padmé. She could put his worries to ease in a moment. She would remind him that she had 3PO, that Sabé was coming to visit to help her, that she was going to slow down . . .

His soft snort was tinged with love and amusement. Anakin Skywalker wasn’t nearly as smart as his wife about politics or history or economics, but he was the galaxy’s foremost expert on Padmé Naberrie Amidala (Skywalker). So he knew that if the galaxy needed her, Padmé would respond. Even when she was pregnant with the largest baby in the galaxy.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Anakin sat up and wondered what had woken him up. He reached out, touching the minds of the men on the Resolute, and found no disturbances.

Perhaps it was just a random noise outside his door that jerked him out of sleep. He should probably just settle back into his bed and try to rest more, as Obi-Wan had suggested.

At least it wasn’t the nightmare that woke him up . . . he didn’t feel the fear and panic that gripped him at the thought of losing Padmé.

With a shake of the head, Anakin did his best to push aside his nightmares and focused on the time. If he was doing the math right, it was approaching nine in the evening on Coruscant. That meant Padmé might be calling him soon. So he would just wait for her to call.

She was starting to really feel the weight of her pregnancy. It was taking so much out of her--every time they talked, he could see the dark circles under her eyes, hear the exhaustion in her voice.

It had taken all his persuasive skills, everything he had learned from Obi-Wan, to convince Padmé to contact Sabé. Anakin knew the circle of people that Padmé trusted was small, and she would need every one of those people with her right now. So it didn’t make sense for Sabé to be on Naboo, when she could be on Coruscant with Padmé.

Now that Sabé was with her, Padmé should be able to get more rest. To be ready for the baby to come.

For a moment, Anakin gazed up at the ceiling of his quarters, a smile on his face. He was going to be a father. It was still such an unbelievable, wonderful idea to him. The thought that his love for Padmé, and hers for him, had created a new life all its own, without midichlorians or medical meddling--that was truly magical, more than anything he could do with the Force.

Whether the baby was a boy or a girl, with his eyes or Padmé’s hair, he couldn’t wait to meet his child. And really, he didn’t care about the baby’s gender, their eye or hair color--he just wanted a healthy, happy child.

no!

Anakin jerked upright, his heart pounding, as he felt a wave of shock and panic pour over him. It was something he had only felt once before--when he was in a yellow starfighter over Naboo--when he knew nothing about the Force beyond what Master Qui-Gonn had told him--

But this was stronger--sharper--sadder, full of disappointment and regret and hurt.

He threw up his shields, bracing himself against the emotion. Because once that was done, he needed to figure out what was going on.

Closing his eyes, Anakin centered himself then slowly cast his senses out, looking for the source of the emotion. He made himself start small, refusing to immediately jump to the person he suspected of the emotional upheaval. Because his master had only once before let his emotions be so overwhelming, in the moment when he had lost his own master.

A deeper look on the ship revealed nothing matching the feelings still battering against his shields, just the gentle hum of sleeping men. Taking a breath, he reached out further, edging closer to Obi-Wan.

Anakin only needed a moment of touching Obi-Wan’s presence to know it was him. He was the one feeling so hurt and upset. And his heart ached at the thought of what was making Obi-Wan feel like this.

Was this how he had felt when he had lost Satine?

His comm was right by his bed and Anakin grabbed it and immediately sent a message to Obi-Wan. The channel buzzed softly, indicating the line was already in use.

Who was Obi-Wan talking to? That would explain the sudden burst of emotion, if Obi-Wan had gotten some bad news--but what? From who?

The longer he waited, the more nervous Anakin became. He rose to his feet and began pacing slowly, trying to stay calm. As he moved, he scooped up his tunic from the floor and pulled it on.

Maybe he should just go down to the hangar and get a shuttle. He could fly over to Obi-Wan’s ship and see him in person. Although they were in hyperspace--he’d have to send an order to the bridge--

There was a beep and Anakin focused on the image of his master. His face looked pinched, worn, tired, old.

“Obi-Wan? What’s wrong?” he asked, cutting to the chase. Because he couldn’t wait any longer to find out what was going on.

XXX

His comm beeped, letting him know he had another call. He didn’t have to guess to know who it was--or to know that keeping Anakin waiting for very long was fuel for disaster.

Rubbing his fingers against his burning eyes, Obi-Wan said, “I will let Anakin know right away. I believe we’re about five hours out from Coruscant. Hopefully, the child will cooperate so Anakin can arrive in time.”

With all the surprises he had already experienced tonight, seeing Sabé smile was just another one to add to the list. “I’ll inform Padmé. She’ll be glad to know Master Skywalker is on the way. But if the child has a quarter of Padmé’s stubbornness, if they decide it’s time, they’re going to come. We’ll just have to trust in luck to keep the child from arriving too early.”

“And the Force,” Obi-Wan said, his mind beginning to slot through the emotions and formulating plans.

Sabé gave a small nod, then ended the comm. No sooner had her image vanished than his comm chimed to remind him about the waiting call.

For a moment, he considered just . . . not taking it. Letting Anakin leave a message then going back to bed and pulling the covers over his head. Wishing that he had never taken Sabé’s comm, so he could still be in his state of blissful ignorance.

Well . . . more willful ignorance. Because it wasn’t a surprise that Anakin and Padmé were together. Anakin had shown a marked interest in the Senator since he had first met her during the invasion of Naboo, when he was a small boy and she was a queen. As for Padmé, it was harder to pinpoint when she became interested in Anakin. Could it have been at some point during the war, during all those times Anakin came charging to her rescue?

Although could it have been earlier? Like on the mission to protect her, before the war even started?

Letting his thoughts wander like this was pointless. Obi-Wan wasn’t a person to shirk his duty or break a promise. And even if he hadn’t promised Sabé to contact Anakin . . . he wouldn’t deprive Padmé of the comfort of her husband at a time like this.

Or let Anakin miss the birth of his child.

With a deep breath, he readied himself for the conversation. He pushed his feelings down, because right now, his own worry and hurt didn’t matter. There would be time for dealing with those emotions later, possibly.

When he accepted the comm, Anakin appeared as expected. His hair was ruffled and the collar of his tunic was twisted–probably due to being hastily pulled on. Even though his former Padawan was usually cold in space, he also hated to wear a shirt when he slept.

It was one of just a thousand things he knew about Anakin. But Obi-Wan was realizing there were facts he didn’t know about the man he considered his brother. Large, important facts.

“Obi-Wan? What’s wrong?” Anakin asked, leaning in towards the holocamera.

For a long moment, Obi-Wan gazed at Anakin. He wanted to avoid letting his emotions show, because it would just distract from the matter at hand. He was the Negotiator, the man who had always managed to put logic before emotion.

“I just received a message from Senator Amidala’s aide, Sabé,” Obi-Wan said slowly, watching closely for Anakin’s reaction. There was the barest flicker in his Force presence, but otherwise, Anakin didn’t show any surprise.

And suddenly, Obi-Wan was tired. Too tired to draw this out, too tired to avoid the hurt he knew was coming. So he just spoke without worrying about how Anakin was going to take this.

“Your baby is coming and your wife wants you there.”

End, Chapter 2

#anidala #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #star wars

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leaderen · 3 years

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JULIAN MORRIS // have you met KYLO REN(BEN SOLO) yet? HE/HIM is a TWENTY-NINE year old CIS MALE HUMAN. they’re originally from CHANDRILA and now show loyalty to THE FIRST ORDER. they are best known for being a SITH LORD, and i hear they’re pretty STRONG, BRILLIANT, RESILANT yet also AMBITIOUS, CUNNING, QUICK TO ANGER at times; i hope they survive the galactic civil war. ARIZONA, TWENTY-NINE, CENTRAL STANDARD, SHE/HER

THE PAST:

Kylo Ren was never born with such a name. Nor had he been born with the evil that plagued his heart. Kylo was born as Ben. Benjamin Solo, the son of Princess Leia Organa and General Han Solo. Grandson to Anakin Skywalker. He was born a year after his parents led victory over the Empire and the death of Vader had followed. Even as a young boy, he had known that he was destined to become something greater than what was meant to be handed to him. Even then, Ben had heard the rumors of his birth, knowing that his parents had been famous, of course, others were going to talk. The light side of him, a good rumor to be spread but there was the bad that matched. Rumors that he had darkness in his heart. That he was going to fall to the shadows before the light's rays could pierce his heart. Ben was born after a legendary Jedi who not only one of the reasons the darkness encompassed his grandfather, but saved the galaxy as well. Ben Kenobi, a person that young Ben looked up to. That young Ben dreamed to be like when he was older. As a baby, Ben hadn't understood the concept of sleep. Under the guise of comfort, he could sleep in his father's arms, in his mother's presence and if Chewbacca had happened to be around. They were the only ones that he could ever settle around. The ones that reminded him that he was safe and healthy and secure. Though, it was those toddler years of a child when it was shown that Ben had the Force, that his power was shown easily through his rage, his anger, for not getting his way. Ben learned to fly a speeder at a young age, having two great teachers, his father and Chewbacca. Not only that, but Chewbacca also helped Ben learn to fire a blaster, hitting every shot he made, even without the help of the Force. As a child breaching his teenage years, Ben was sent to the temple to train under his Uncle Luke as a Jedi, starting the new generation since his Uncle and Grandfather. Ben studied hard. Not knowing how deep the line of his blood truly was. He had only known that his mother, Leia had been sensitive and that his Uncle, Luke, was a Jedi, thinking that his power came from him. As a padawan, Ben kept a calligraphy set filled with Jedi insights in his quarters, next to his bed, taking a devotion to the Force and Jedi training. It was a good way to form a bond with his Uncle, traveling through the galaxy to collect artifacts and learning the ancient history of the Jedi Order to, hopefully, fully restore it. Throughout his teenage years, Ben not only grew in the Force, but also cultivated his friendship with Snoke, trusting him, letting blind faith in a man that manipulated him, lead him toward the Dark Side, letting it wrap talons around his heart. Ben had heard a voice in his head, ever since he was young, believing it was his friend, Snoke, who warned him and told him secrets, Thus leading to Ben following him, becoming Kylo Ren in the process.

THE PRESENT:

After becoming the leader of the Knights of Ren, Ben lost his old name, killing it along with his memories and connection to his past. Blocking out any emotion he had attached to it. Learning to slaughter the image of his parents and the life he had wanted, had believed he deserved. After learning the truth about who his Grandfather truly was, who Anakin had become, Kylo had discovered a new hero, a new mentor, a new person he wanted to become. Han was no longer the person he looked up to, instead, he practically worshiped Darth Vader and the things he stood for, wanting to build a better Death Star, and to show the Galaxy who was truly meant to lead them. Though, one thing had never changed from his past, wanting attention from someone he cared for. Someone he wanted the attention from. Because of this, it had led Kylo to have a hatred for General Hux, a bit of a showdown, if one will, to get after the attention of Snoke. Though Hux was not skilled in the Force, it was Kylo who served as an apprentice to Snoke, training under him. Learning to harness the ability of the Sith, to unleash his anger and not let his self-control take over. Together, Snoke and Kylo set out to rule the galaxy and together, Kylo and Snoke wanted to be feared. Rey had been a chess piece that Kylo had not been expecting. Considering that Kylo had made sure he slaughtered all the other Padawans that his Uncle Luke had been training. Though, with Luke out of the picture, away in hiding, Kylo sought to find him in the mind of Rey, though her power had matched that of his, it didn’t stop Kylo from trying, opening a force bond between the two of them. As the battle continues, Kylo finally is led to Luke, even if it is just a Force Projection, he knows that he can end him finally, the same way he ended his father. Death was the only answer and it was the only thing Kylo succeeded in. It was this that led him to waver in the Force, torn between the Light in his heart and the Dark that plagues him, that controls him. Rey is the one, who, paired with his mother, makes him question his loyalty, leading to the death of Supreme Leader Snoke at the hands of the Sith Lord and the young Jedi. It was then that Kylo Ren declared himself the Supreme Leader of The First Order and The Sith.

Things to Note: - Kylo has a pair of gold dice tucked away as a momento. - He will always refer to Chewbacca, in private and in moments of weakness, as Uncle Chewie. He will also refer to Lando, in private and in moments of weakness, as Unca Wanwo. - Ben became a skilled pilot because he wanted to be like Han, it’s one thing that will always stick with him. - Ben is used to being alone, due to the fact that his parents were never really around when he was a child. - Ben was sheltered by not only his parents, but also his Uncle, Luke, which led to his friendship with Snoke.

PERSONALITY:

hot-headed, conflicted, and erratic. Kylo Ren is filled with a great deal of rage and angst, making him unstable. That lack of stability, though, when paired with his powerful use of the Force, makes him a dangerous and formidable foe.

#galactics.intro

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thought-42 · 4 years

Text

Clone Wars fic Day One

So @stoppit-keepout gave me 'Abdicate' as a prompt word, and this sprung forth, but SK I promise I will write you something else for a fandom you're actually in. Meanwhile, please enjoy the first chunk of a very random modern au featuring cody and Obi-Wan being goddamn disasters. Hopefully there will be a new slice of this universe every day until New Years, but who the hell knows.

Obi-Wan meets Cody at the Big Brothers Big Sisters Christmas party. He's there with Anakin, who has just been kicked out of another foster home and is clearly feeling celebratory as a result. Obi-Wan has given up asking about the experiences Anakin has that lead him to prefer group homes or sleeping rough, but he can make some educated guesses.

Ahsoka and Plo are there as well, having shown up early along with Wolffe to set up the decorations. They're all showing off the official adoption papers to whoever will stand still long enough to read them, and Wolffe and Ahsoka don't say anything to each other without including "sister" or "brother" somewhere in the 'address while Plo looks on like he's never realized his life could be this perfect.

"Hey, big brother," Ahsoka says, "is your cousin coming? I think Kix will like him."

"They'll be here as long as Rex's car can make it," Wolffe says. "They were going to pick up Jesse from his grandma's, so they might get stuck in bridge traffic."

"Rex's car is held together with literal duct tape," Anakin explains in an aside to Obi-Wan. "I keep telling him I can fix it, but he won't let me."

"I didn't know Rex's brother was going to mentor Kix," Obi-Wan says.

"It's not official," Ahsoka says.

"There will be a proper introduction," Plo assures him. "Cody has already been approved, but you know how Kix is."

"Smarter than anyone they've paired him up with?" Obi-Wan says, calmly. He's rather defensive of Kix, even not having a particularly close relationship with him. He's had to train himself out of his impatience with people who can't keep up with him, and he can appreciate Kix's unwillingness to waste his time. Qui-Gon would scold him for such thoughts, but Qui-Gon is currently half way across the country at some sort of plants and yoga retreat instead of spending the holidays with his wife or his step-father or his not-really son and the child who worships the ground he walks on.

It's fine. Obi-Wan isn't bitter. Tahl is spending Christmas Eve drinking wine with her coworkers from the library, and Obi-Wan and Anakin are here, and Christmas Day they'll all trek across the city to Dooku's disgustingly fancy mansion for an awkward Christmas meal and criticism of their life choices. At least with Qui-Gon absent everything should remain civil. Unless Anakin's teenaged bravado has developed further in the past year. Obi-Wan is doing Anakin the favour of pretending to believe him when he says he doesn't care about Qui-Gon's absence. He suspects Anakin is doing the same for him, which is uncomfortable for a whole host of reasons.

"I think Kix and Cody will get along," Wolffe says, tongue between his teeth as he carefully glues googly eyes on a felt snowman. Obi-Wan catches Plo snapping a photo, clearly amused.

Obi-Wan lets himself get dragged into the cookie decorating catastrophe happening on the other side of the room, and he remains entirely engrossed until Mace claps his hands and shouts, "Pizza's ready, I need two volunteers to go across and pick it up, who's going with Kenobi?"

Obi-Wan throws up his sugar-coated hands indignantly. "What have I ever done to you, Mace? Am I not a delight, a breath of orderly, reliable, and charming fresh air—"

"I'll go," someone says, and Rex appears out of nowhere to shove Obi-Wan toward the coat wrack. There's a dark-haired man already there, snow still caught on the collar of his jacket, clearly not having been inside long enough even to settle in.

Obi-Wan sighs dramatically for the entertainment of the younger children, but the way he wipes the icing off his hands on Mace's jacket is entirely for himself. The dark-haired man, Rex's brother, he has to be, frowns severely at him. Obi-Wan smiles brightly.

He pulls on his coat and winds his scarf around his neck and over most of his face.

"I'm Obi-Wan," he says. "And yes, this scarf was a gift and I will be guilted terribly should I not wear it."

"Cody," he says. "I'm Rex's brother?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan says. "I had guessed as much."

"Present from your grandmother?" Cody asks, holding the door for Obi-Wan.

"The scarf? No, no, my... semi-absent father figure, actually. His step father bought him a book on knitting as a teenager and he has somehow maintained the habit without improving his skills over the past thirty years."

"Ahh," Cody says, uncertainly. "So have you been involved..." Cody waves a gloved hand uncertainly. "With this, I mean— this is the first time I've been to any sort of event—"

"No, no," Obi-Wan says, understanding the question because it is exhaustingly familiar. Because clearly only people with biological nuclear families have healthy and ideal childhoods. "No, I only got involved a few years ago. Qui-Gon, my... father, met Anakin at the food bank. Anakin was there with his mother and Qui-Gon was volunteering, because sometimes he remembers that he grew up rich and has week-long bouts of frantic guilt-induced philanthropy. Anakin became quite attached to him, and when his mother passed away we spent a great deal of time helping him through the fallout. Naturally, Qui-Gon lost interest shortly after, but by then Anakin's social worker had gotten us involved in BBBS."

"I presume he hasn't improved at emotional intelligence with age, either? Given his absence."

Obi-Wan laughs, startled. "Not at all, actually. And you, what brings you here? Did Rex wear you down?"

"He told me about Kix," Cody says. "Admittedly this isn't my first choice when it comes to giving back to the community, but I wouldn't feel right knowingly walking away from a job for which I'm uniquely suited."

"It's not a job," Obi-Wan says, sharply.

"I'm sorry," Cody says. "You're right."

They cross the intersection in silence. None of the sidewalks are shovelled and Obi-Wan swallows down his irritated rant.

"I said that poorly," Cody says, hunching his shoulders. "I only meant that this level of social interaction and engagement with strangers— I'm not good at it. That's all I meant."

Obi-Wan, who has never particularly experienced or understood this sort of struggle, smiles sympathetically. "Of course, very understandable."

Cody's eyebrows go up. "I'm sure. You don't need to lie to spare my feelings."

Obi-Wan jerks open the door to the pizza restaurant harder than he intends to. "I apologize."

"I wasn't offended."

Inside the heat is stifling in contrast to the chill of late afternoon. Obi-Wan huffs a breath through his scarf and steps up to the counter. "They need two minutes," Obi-Wan tells Cody once he's exchanged words with the person behind the counter.

They lean together against the wall, dishwater dull sunlight splashed across the tiles at their feet. A drop of sweat creeps down Obi-Wan's spine.

"You should take your scarf off," Cody says, after a moment, like he's been trying to stop himself.

Obi-Wan blinks uncertainly, then agreeably pulls the scarf of his face, loosening the loops around his neck and unzipping his jacket a few inches.

Cody stares out the window. "Sorry. You're obviously hot," he says. "It's boiling in here."

Obi-Wan doesn't know what to say, given that he has absolutely no reason to have left the scarf pulled up and thus has no leg to stand on when it comes to the oddity of the moment.

Back at the community centre they're descended upon by a rush of children and teens, stacks of pizza boxes snatched from their arms and vanishing into the crowd. Obi-Wan glances over to the cookie table, and is unsurprised to see the lack of progress.

It takes a few seconds and some bouncing up on his toes to find Kix, and when he does it's to see him curled up on a hard plastic chair in the back corner behind the water cooler, cell phone pressed to his ear, his other arm wrapped around himself and looking very much like he's trying to remain calm through an exceedingly distressing conversation.

Cody is standing very still, hands clasped behind his back, eyes darting around and clearly unsure what to do. Obi-Wan, who is a good person, says "Come on, then. While I recognize that it's meant to be the process of decorating the cookies that holds the value, I also am physically incapable of leaving a job half done, and now that the real food has arrived I suspect no one else will be doing it."

"Yes, ok," Cody says, quickly.

Anakin finds them five minutes later, half a piece of pizza in his mouth and a spring in his step. "Rex is gonna let me take a look at his car!"

"I'm glad," Obi-Wan says, and means it. He may not trust Anakin with a lot of things, but when it comes to mechanics Obi-Wan trusts him far more than any "professional".

"you guys should get some pizza before it's all gone," Anakin says. "Hi, by the way. You're Cody, right?"

"Yeah," Cody says. "You're Anakin."

"That's me. And now I'm a little worried that rex talks about me."

"Would you believe me if I said only good things?"

"I accidentally pushed him off the roof of the old theatre last winter," says Anakin. Cody nods.

"We're busy with this," Obi-Wan says, nodding to the cookies. "Besides, the pizza should go to the youth, not to us."

Anakin rolls his eyes. "Whatever, it's food, we're all here, don't make it weird."

"Busy," Obi-wan repeats.

Anakin waves a hand. "Hey, hey, I get it. You're finally getting to experience an extremely stereotypical holiday tradition that you never did when you were a kid, and it's nice because you've been all fucked up with Qui-Gon away."

"What?!" Obi-Wan snaps, incredulous, at the same time Cody says

"That's exactly what we're doing, actually. Couldn't have said it better myself."

Obi-Wan considers upending the container of sprinkles over Cody's head.

#commander cody #Obi Wan Kenobi #codywan #tumblrfic tag #star wars why?

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