Tumgik
#but also laughing at my dumb ass
mydarlingstarling · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
411 notes · View notes
missusruin · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
anon godbless
128 notes · View notes
lesbianpegbar · 1 year
Text
the tonal whiplash of watching 5’2” daniil dankovsky getting his gay ass pummeled into the ground and then immediately having a serious cutscene of military occupation was unrivaled
30 notes · View notes
clownsuu · 2 years
Note
Hmmmmm u said u were in the creepypasta fandom....
Who was ur favorite creepypasta
J-Jeff the killer-
93 notes · View notes
ashfordlabs · 1 year
Note
Tumblr media
I'm inflicting it upon you anyway. It's generally a breakfast food. A white sausage gravy over american biscuits. imo it varies widely in quality so it can either be quite good or quite awful
can i just say that's not what i was expecting?? like,,,, i'm sorry,,, is that not a scone???? i googled and apparently it's not because these have no eggs, but my brain refuses to think differently. but that still begs the question, why would you put gravy on them??? i thought my sister was weird for once ordering fries and gravy (which not gonna lie, was pretty good) but this is a whole other level. i am also so confused as why the gravy looks like that?? why is it so white???? and lumpy????
11 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
pov: you forgot the words in Foolin', Take What You Want, and even Sugar
20 notes · View notes
crossbackpoke-check · 2 years
Note
I'm sorry to tell you the 313 tat is ostensibly because he.... is an Eminem stan...
dear anon can i please return this cursed knowledge! currently dragging my hands down my face thank you so much!
Tumblr media
the 3-1-3 tat in question, in case anyone else wanted to suffer :)))))
#so the 313 IS the detroit area code 😭😭😭 weeping#thomas bordeleau sure has made some choice that *i* have to reckon with & i don’t appreciate it#@thom meet me outside in the parking lot i’m LOSING it over this i can’t tell if i’m mad or laughing my ass off like. it’s your body#if you want to get a 313 detroit area code tattoo-no have you ever BEEN to detroit??? like sorry but that’s the whitest white boy shit ever#YOU LIVED IN ANN ARBOR THE USNTDP IS IN PLYMOUTH IT’S NOT EVEN A DETROIT TATTOO IT’S AN EMINEM TATTOO 😭😭😭#speaking!! as a resident dumb white bitch!!! but i do get incredibly heated when it comes to detroit’s history & trends of gentrification#& segregation within michigan i have such weird emotions bc i’m not like. trying to gatekeep detroit i just think it’s a Choice & it feels#Weird. yeah idk i could just be sensy & hormonal so we’ll see if these tags last by tomorrow morning#forced to recognize the degrees of separation i have from mr. mathers & also from the likelihood of ever running into thom bordeleau#hopefully never but i do still ^%*+•’ remembering the usntdp is xx minutes away & olympic athletes use the rink & train there#and like. uofm. sometimes i forget i have seen this man with my real eyes because i went to a game before i was feral about them#i refuse to admit defeat at the hands of the umich boys#i also have to admit that i would probably get a tattoo for a band i love so i’m having a hard time here#I JUST WANT TO ROAST HIS ASS BUT I KEEP MAKING MYSELF BE NICE TO HIM STOP THAT#thomas bordeleau my worstie my hatred spirit my incorrigible terrible meow meow#thomas bordeleau… eminem stannie? where did my frathouse dj tags go because i was right#THIS ONE ->#me looking @ thom knowing full well i could pick up one of those lil bitches just like him on any college campus but that’s MY frathouse dj🥰#also… do you have a source 🤲#not that i don’t trust you i just like to collect media for Purposes & also because tumblr’s tagging is unreliable but bookmarks are forever#liv in the replies
18 notes · View notes
random-cat · 8 months
Note
💧random angst headcanon for Ace :3
In his canon story his nightmares start off as just memories of his childhood but slowly changes to make up scenarios where he fails his team and it causes him to bottle up his emotions more and hide away from the people who truly care for him. They start after he gets his ass whooped for the first time. Since he is the only human he does realize that he is a liability. And it scares him. He just jokes it off with the others tho.
This is subjected to change as the story processes more
1 note · View note
timeisacephalopod · 1 year
Text
LMFAO I'm watching the 3rd conjuring movie and I just want a horror movie that actually exists in the worlds they depict. Like nightly news stories featuring panicked catholic news anchors watching the Recorded Footage that always exists in these universes (but never ours) along with all the other Irrefutable Proof of the Christian God and demons Bedeviling™️ the population because like holy shit this movie starts with a monster messy exorcism on screen being recorded and imagine if we actually had proof like this of Christian demons contouring children into fuckin pretzels and shit??
Give me a horror movie that lives there lmao, that'd be some real entertainment.
3 notes · View notes
panb1mbo · 11 months
Text
rereading my copy of twilight and i've come to realize i actually dislike bella and edward so much dear lord sweet jesus they annoy me so fucking much but that said, robert pattison did a great job idk if he read the source material but he nailed angsty 17 year old piss baby so well
1 note · View note
marklikely · 2 years
Text
i always saw people in other slasher tags drawing brahms "the boy" heelshire as like. a very large muscular man with a doll mask and i honestly thought that it was just like. a sexyman-ification of the doll so i was like "well thats extremely weird and funny of them to do"
anyway when i watched the movie and the human man in a mask walked out of the wall i literally screamed
10 notes · View notes
hgduo · 1 year
Text
... I'm just gonna ignore what he did to the picture of Pluto the dog for my own sake-💀💀💀-
2 notes · View notes
unhhhhbelievable · 2 years
Text
PETITION TO CHANGE THE #TRIXYA FANDOM NAME TO #KATRIXIE
6 notes · View notes
emeraldbabygirl · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
IM HOLLERING IM WHEEZING IM LAUGHING SO HARD
It’s giving cunt 😩 she’s serving weave 💅 how girly pop 🤧 members of the male species are so silly 🫵🤪
Don’t hate me for this it’s just a joke skskskksk
#I laugh cause I expected it from them#ya’know how everyone in Japan and Korea smoke cause I cause it’s like popular or something#but at least like I mean if you’re gonna do it do the real thing right#instead of making yourself look more stupid by vaping ya’know?#like idk why people vape?? just do the cig and get the lung cancer??#like don’t half ass it babe 💁‍♀️#but also also why tf idols smoke and drink and have bright white teeth#while I don’t but I drink coffee and soda and my teeth stained and shit#I brush them and use whitening toothpaste and shit#and like how come mine don’t look like them?#not fair I take care of my teeth and they look unhealthy#random bitches be sucking cancer sticks and snorting crack and have pearly white teeth ion get it#anyway how silly of them skskskskk#bUT I JUST WANNA KNOW THEIR SECRET?#also why it look like they in the back alleys? they can’t just do it wherever?#do countries have designated smoking areas? lol#not me feeling like I have to explain myself but ok#personally I find people that smoke disgusting and dumb#so be it#that shit stinks and it gets in your clothes and into the furniture and the walls#my father did it and man he stunk#and every time I had to kiss him yuck#can’t imagine kissing someone like that yuck#even if you brush your teeth and shower it still seeps through bro#shit’s crazy and like have fun with the lung cancer 🤷‍♀️#although some bitches just don’t die#aNYWAY NO HATE TBH I MEAN yes but like just my opinion#I just think it’s funny idk why I feel like I have to explain this like we don’t care lol#I’m just surprised there’s photos cause that only confirms my theory and shit#ok anyway 🫢
0 notes
deadsetobsessions · 4 months
Text
Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.
“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”
God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.
Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.
“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”
“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”
“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”
Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.
“What happened?!”
“My word, master Danny!”
“What is it?!”
“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”
Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.
“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”
“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.
“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.
“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”
The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.
“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”
“Danny.”
“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.
“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.
Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.
“Sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.
“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”
Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…
“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”
“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.
“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”
The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.
“Done.”
“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”
“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”
“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”
“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”
“Very well.”
“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.
——
“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”
“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.
“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”
“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”
Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.
“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”
“Tt.”
“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”
6K notes · View notes
sexbot300 · 3 months
Text
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ brat-tamer!toji
authors note: no thots, just him. this is just pure smut, sorry lollllll. need him so bad u don’t understand. with that being said, minors dni, 18+ ! thank you for the love on my first few posts! i appreciate it all of it <3 i'm not ignoring my messages btw, just extremely busy with my studies! ♡
Tumblr media
⋆ ˚。⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚。⋆
brat-tamer!toji who notices you acting up and simply asks, “cranky because you ain’t got dick today?”
brat-tamer!toji who only looks at you with a raised brow and (huge) arms across his chest when you purposely try to piss him off. so cute.
brat-tamer!toji who purposely puts his entire body weight on top of you when you beg him to stop due to overstimulation. he tugs you even closer, just laughing in your face.
brat-tamer!toji who stops thinking coherent thoughts when he sees you in a sundress.
brat-tamer!toji who rewards your good behavior with head (lets you squirt) and also punishes your bad behavior with head (denies you relief, gives in eventually, sometimes).
brat-tamer!toji who loooovessssss shoving your face into the pillow while you whine, pant, and moan. he loves to put your head into a headlock with his bicep, as drool escapes your lips, and you’re babbling like an idiot while he’s hitting it from the back.
brat-tamer!toji who casually lifts you up and fucks you in the air as if just anyone can do it. “such a perfect little pocket pussy,” he snickers.
brat-tamer!toji who gets you cock drunk so often (he’s starting to think that it’s your normal state).
brat-tamer!toji who likes to make you count every time he spanks the fat of your ass when arched up across his lap. slap! “24…” you say with a slight moan, biting your bottom lip in, as he soothes the red outline forming on your cheek. he grins above you, “should’ve known a cock-bent whore like you would take this as pleasurable rather than punishment.”
brat-tamer!toji who makes a safe word with you early on (which you tease him for doing so early, he only tsks because he knows YOU know how much you mean to him and he puts your well-being above anything else).
brat-tamer!toji who has a hidden collection of pictures on his phone with you smiling, his cum decorating your face.
brat-tamer!toji who grips your face in the middle of a make out session, pulling away as he notices your fucked out, panting expression. “open.” you quickly open up your mouth as he slowly lets spit hit onto your tongue. he lightly chuckles. “obedient slut.” you look at him, eyebrows furrowed and eyes wanting more. “swallow.”
brat-tamer!toji who finds his favorite position to be when his massive balls are hitting your clit and he mercilessly pounds, abusing your little cunt from the back as he strings profanity out of his mouth. or a full nelson where he just tells you to, “shut the fuck up and take it.” or even a mating press where he can pummel his cum into you while seeing your face contort in pure bliss. “y-yeah. ‘ust let loose. go dumb on this dick.”
brat-tamer!toji who regularly calls you; “slut, (needy or cock) whore, vixen, pretty, disgusting, (stupid) bitch, brat, bad girl, good girl, perfect, beautiful, gorgeous, princess, angel, (sex or fuck) toy, doll, bunny, cum-slut, cum-dumpster, sugar… etc”
brat-tamer!toji who gets annoyed at your endless ramblings about your day, he sighs and tells you to get on your knees. you promptly do that, but to push his buttons you don’t stop rambling on and on and on. somehow, this man manages to get his 8 (girthy) inches down your throat. “cant complain with my cock in your mouth, huh?” he only smirks as you become teary-eyed, moaning a little at his statement, lapping your tongue up and down like a starving dog. he throws his head back, forearms supporting him while you bob your head back and forth on his thick length. “hey… never said that my cock doesn’t appreciate your tongue. s’ch a good girl when you do what you’re made for. unh!”
brat-tamer!toji who presses against you into a mirror, his broader, massive frame encasing you while he stares into your soul. “i-i don’t understand what i did?” you look up at him feigning innocence, batting your eyelashes. fingers caress his forearms, down his hard bicep, and lightly trace his hardened outline. his eyes never leave yours, a stern, menacing look to the average person, but you can tell he’s about to have you praying for mercy in another way. “of course you don’t understand what you did.” you whine slightly when his fingers suddenly grab a fist full of your hair, burning your scalp, his voice turns mockingly softer. “all you know in that pretty, empty, head of yours is just fucking. nothing else.” he quickly releases you, eliciting a gasp, magically flipping you around in an instant so you’re staring at yourself in the mirror now. “told you not to play with yourself until i came home. but you just haaad to be difficult.” he gripped the vibrator in one hand that was tucked away, pressing it against your lips. “spit.” you spat on it, eyes full of want. he only snickered and smirked. “good luck thinking I’m going to let you cum. stare in the mirror while I do this.” he turned the toy on, a vibrating tune humming throughout the room. “need you to realize how pathetic you look begging.” you gasped slightly, “b-but-" he proceeds to pry your legs apart with one massive thigh, his hand gripping the front of your neck, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror. “push your skirt up. you lost your right to cum, stupid whore. cum without permission, see what happens.”
brat-tamer!toji who loves to fuck you on his fingers. he loves the lewd noise it makes while ramming his two middle fingers in and out, or up and down. he loves to see your jaw go slack as you beg him to stop. “i-it’s… uhhhhhh! t-to- ah! -ji, toooooo-uhhh much!” he never loses focus, “yeah? yeah?” he presses his hand on your lower abdomen, “quite honestly, don’t care what you think.” he only licks his lips, his scarred lip grins with anticipation to finally taste you when you unfold.
brat-tamer!toji who degrades you like it’s a living but LIVES for your filthy mouth. he loves that you talk back, he’ll never admit it. he loves putting cum sluts like you in their place.
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
brat-tamer!toji who weirdly… gets needy at times when you finish. he’ll hold you from behind, shutting his eyes while his arms are wrapped around, practically glued to your torso, the backside of your body molds perfectly to the front of his. legs intertwined, your head against his chest, a moment of pure bliss shared between you two. “who knew the big bad toji likes to cuddle?” “shut up.”
(silly toji! i need him to ruin me)
7K notes · View notes