#but I've heard literally nothing but good things about people's experiences with him
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Get Your Shit Together - Chapter 6
genre: 2024 Season AU
pairing: Romantic! oc x two people because y'all voted on a triangle ;). platonic! oc x literally the whole grid.
warnings: lots swearing, mentions of the accident and crimes, discussions about gangs, mentions of bars and alcohol. Paranoia and an argument. love triangle crumbs
context: Part 1 and Masterlist…
Comments: massive lore drop but I've tried to keep the story moving and interesting. I'm a sucker for small details so I hope y'all have good memories ;)
"I'm in a witness protection program."
Sadie clenched her jaw, unsure what else to say. Lando and Max were silent.
"What did you see?" Lando's voice was so soft Sadie barely heard him over the road noise.
Her right hand flexed on the steering wheel. "I can't tell you that."
"Why did you volunteer?"
"Because I love F1."
Max chimed in. "You said it's too public, too many cameras."
"What I reported happened after Melbourne and just before SIlverstone. I- I think it would be better if I just told you, wouldn't it."
"Yes," Lando muttered, not meeting her glance.
"Okay, well. I was working a bar in Sydney and witnessed a crime. I was seen calling the cops and..." She took a deep breath. "And let's just say that I had dobbed on someone dangerous. Someone influential and known to police."
"You snitched on a gangster?" Lando's wide eyes would have made Sadie laugh in any other situation. "A real life gangster?"
"I didn't know who they were! I was cornered in an alley the next day and after that I spent all of my money on a two week stay in England. From there, I reported the attempted assault and was told to stay in England for the two weeks. The police said they could use that time to get me into witness protection and set up the right safeguards, if I anonymously testify in court. It happened to be the Grand Prix weekend, so I volunteered instead of sitting around."
"Attempted assault?" Max stressed.
Sadie glanced at him in the rear view and her silence was answer enough. You don't need to know.
"Let me get this right. You snitched on a gang, were threaten and then ran to England?!"
"Yeah, pretty much." Her tone didn't match her racing heart.
"What happened to 'too many cameras'?" Lando toyed with his silver necklace.
"Obviously I didn't consider how dramatically you were going to break your ankle in turn, whatever it was. I figured, as a medic, I’d spend a lot of time in areas with very few to no cameras.”
Sadie glanced at the phone Lando showed her and, with one hand on the wheel, swung them left and down a small side street.
“You are right, though,” Max observed. “The reporters aren’t allowed in the medical tents unless they’re unwell themselves.”
“Is that why you’re in Melbourne? Are you from Sydney?” She could hear curiosity in Lando’s voice.
“It’s complicated.” Sadie grimaced.
“It’s seems like everything is,” Max muttered.
“Oh, shush,” she joked. She knew it had landed when both boys smiled slightly. “I grew up just outside of Melbourne. I’ve been working back at that bar since I was 18. I took some unofficial leave in June to experience working in another city while we had extra staff. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have chosen Sydney.”
The boys were quiet as Sadie explained her time working at bars in Sydney and enjoying the nightlife of another city. She talked about the move up there and the sudden disappearance to England. Some of her stuff was still in Sydney, including some personal keepsakes like a bracelet from her mother. Sadie explained that Lewis and Max knew about the witness protection, but nothing further. She’d only told them when they visited her in hospital the day after the accident and after some significant convincing. She answered questions about her leg and how it had healed, which had turned out to be quite well.
“How much physio did you have to do?” There was guilt in Lando’s question.
“Just some at home things, it was quite easy,” Sadie admitted. She didn’t want to elaborate on the facts she hadn’t done any official physio because she couldn’t afford it. Australian public health care was good, but not that good. “How well has the ankle healed?”
“It was slower than I wanted but I’m cleared for next season which is good.”
Max grumbled, “but he didn’t stop complaining about it for months.”
“I was in pain, mate!”
“I know! You told me every chance you got!”
Sadie smiled at their banter, glad they weren’t holding up walls of suspicion anymore.
As she pulled up to the Piastri Family home, she cleared her throat. “I- ummm… It was good to see you again Lando, and good to meet you Max.”
“Oh no,” Lando chided. “We’re not done, I am not letting you just drive into the sunset again.”
“It’s already dark,” Sadie pointed out. “And that’s not what happened the first time.”
“And on that note, I’m out,” Max exclaimed. “It was lovely to meet you, Sadie. Thank you for what you did at Silverstone.”
He jumped out of the car before she could say anything and practically ran to the red front door of a small, low set home.
Lando undid his seatbelt and turned to face her, pulling a leg onto the seat.
“Sadie, you vanished.”
Straight into then.
“I feel better seeing that you’re in one piece, and not hearing it from news,” she murmured.
“That’s what you have to say?” he scoffed.
Sadie pushed down irritation. She might struggle to stay in one place for very long, but she was a patient person who had drawers of calm, collected masks to choose from.
When she didn’t answer, Lando shook his head and closed his eyes.
“How do you think I felt?” he snapped. “Lewis told me you had stitches. How many? I know you can walk, but how long did it take for the limp to go away? Did you need crutches? Because you know that I did, and you know how long I needed them for.”
“How much did Lewis tell you?”
“You’re focusing on the wrong thi-“
“How much, Lando?”
The panicked edge to her voice had Lando pausing, looking closer at her face through whatever haze was over his mind.
“Just that,” he breathed. “He told me you’d needed stitches but were okay. He wouldn’t tell me anything else.”
The fist around Sadie’s heart relaxed slightly as she sighed with relief. “Okay, as long as it was just that.”
“You’re scared,” he stated like he’d only just noticed. His watercolour eyes were lit slightly by a nearby street lamp. They appeared hazel in that light and it was a detail Sadie wished she hadn’t noted.
“I’m paranoid,” she replied just as curtly.
“I was scared,” he admitted, breaking the eye contact.
“That’s fair. If your ankle didn’t heal properly, your career might’ve been over.”
“No, that’s not- Well I was scared about that but I meant that I was scared for you.”
Sadie frowned. “What? Why?”
“I didn’t know if you were okay! You put yourself on the line for me, you saved my life and I didn’t know if you were okay!”
“I didn’t save your life,” she scoffed. “It wasn’t headed for your heart.”
“I rewatched the footage,” Lando confessed with a sheepish smile. “If you hadn’t put yourself between me and the track? The debris would have hit me and my career could have been over.”
“Your career, Lando. Not your life.” Her voice was the softest it had been all night. It even surprised her.
“My racing is my life, Sadie.”
“I-“ but he cut her off.
“I never got to thank you in person.”
“You can do it now.”
“No.”
“Why the fuck not?” Her patience was slipping. She pulled another mask from the drawer.
“I think you’d take it as closure, or something. Then you’d leave and I would never see you again.”
He wasn’t wrong. She’d began to form a plan on how to give him the answers he needed, and then vanish again. He was a liability to her safety.
“Would that be so bad?”
“Yes.” No hesitation.
She didn’t know what to say to that. Sadie couldn’t bring herself and meet the gaze she could feel on her.
“Max almost punched a reporter,” Lando said.
That had her looking up at him, a confused smile on her lips.
“What?”
“In the media pen, Max almost punched a reporter that wouldn’t stop asking about you.”
A laugh bubbled out of Sadie. Max Verstappen? Protecting the young woman who had ego-checked him at Albert Park?
“I’m serious!” Lando insisted, but his smile was widening. “The guy asked every driver, but Lewis and Max had already told everyone to say nothing. The reporter was so frustrated at getting ‘no comment’ from every driver. Max’s interview was second or third last and the reporter asked something so out of pocket. If you find the interview you can see Max trying not to hit the guy.”
Sadie laughed again, and she caught Lando grinning in her peripheral vision.
“I did make him swear on his championship,” she commented it.
“What?” It was obvious that detail was also new to Lando.
“After the incident, while we were still at the track, I made Lewis promise to hide me from the media. Max visited my hotel room a few days later, and I made him swear the same thing.”
“On his championship?” Lando was trying to hold back a laugh.
“Yeah.” Sadie couldn’t hold back her own.
They laughed for a few minutes at the absurd notion of Max swearing anything on his championship.
“Jesus,” Lando sighed. “That makes so much more sense now.”
“What does?”
“I tried to find you, after a month. Fuck, I even tried to rope half the grid into helping me find you, but Lewis and Max always shut it down. They never told my why, but I guess that’s it.”
“I’m not going to apologise for trying to protect myself.”
“You’re good at protecting,” he said.
It wasn’t the most random comment he’d made that night but it was the one that stuck out the most.
Sadie didn’t know how to reply.
She didn’t have a chance to think about it when she saw a shadowy figure moving toward the car.
“Lando, get out of sight,” she warned.
He was too shocked by the immediate change in demeanour and topic.
“What?”
“Just- oh. Nevermind.”
As the figure came closer, they stepped into the lamplight and Sadie recognised Oscar Piastri.
“It’s Piastri,” she breathed.
Lando wound down his window and waved.
Oscar leant down, rested both arms across the opened window and glanced between them.
“Hey, how are you?” He began.
“Could be better,” Sadie quipped with a joking smile.
“I’m trying to convince her to stay,” Lando explained.
Oscar raised an eyebrow. “Stay the night or-“
“No, Oscar!” Lando laughed and Sadie couldn’t help but like sound.
“He means in your lives. But I can’t.”
Oscar tilted his head sideways quizzically and some of his hair fell into his eyes. “Can’t or won’t.”
“Both.”
“You make it sound like you don’t have a choice,” he observed.
“She does,” Lando said at the same time as Sadie’s “I don’t.”
“Lando, I-“
“No, Sadie you do have a choice. Not every part of our lives is public.”
“I’m still very confused,” Oscar added.
Sadie’s patience slipped again. “Piastri, I fucked with some dangerous people, and I can’t let them find me. Lando, you don’t have a private life. If you’re not doing Formula One, you’re doing Quadrant; if you’re not doing Quadrant, you’re partying with Martin Garrix; and if you’re not partying, you’re posting something on Instagram. You live an incredibly public life, and that’s okay, but I can’t join that in any regard.”
Lando looked at her with stunned silence. Oscar was watching her with a very concerned expression. She pointed at him with an intense stare.
"You might think your life is fairly private, but when you post on social media everyone nit-pics at it because of how rare your posts are. And every sighting of you is scrutinised.”
A smile quirked at the corner of his mouth but he didn’t say anything.
Sadie pulled in a deep breath and pulled on another mask from the drawer.
“I’m sorry, to both of you, but I’m going to vanish again. I have to.”
“Are you in witness protection?” Oscar asked.
Sadie nodded with a frown. He’d put it together fast.
“When’s the court date?” Oscar’s deep brown were intensely focused on her.
“Wednesday, next week. I will be testifying anonymously.”
“So even if they have gang members who aren’t convicted, they won’t know it was you.” Lando pressed, catching onto Oscar’s train.
“Gang members?” Oscar’s went up an octave.
Sadie waved off the question and focused on Lando. “I see where this is going.”
“Then you can see why I’m right.” His eyes were set on hers, a hand set on the handbrake between them.
Sadie sighed and closed her eyes.
“All of the members who saw my face will be going on trial. A few of them have been convicted already.”
“So after next week, you won’t be in witness protection anymore.” Lando pressed.
“That will depend on whether they’re all convicted and how long their jail time is.”
As Sadie spoke, Oscar pulled out his wallet and an old receipt. He pulled a random marker from another pocket and wrote something on the back before handing them both to Lando. He took this hint and wrote something as well.
When he handed it to her, Sadie noted both their phone numbers and tiny signatures at the end of them.
“Text when the trial is over. Just a yes or no. A yes doesn’t mean that you’re going to to be thrust into the spot light. It’s a maybe.” Oscar said, running a hand through his brown hair.
“It’s a maybe I could thank you properly." Lando added. "A random dinner or a paddock pass to which ever race you want.”
That brought a small smile to Sadie’s face.
“Everyone at McLaren would want to thank you,” Oscar added, but there was a tightness to his jaw Sadie hadn’t noticed until then.
She caved.
“Alright maybe,” she said. “I’ll keep this but I'm not promising you anything.”
Oscar's soft smile said that's enough, but Lando's slight frown meant he wasn't ready to give up. Oscar noted it.
"Lando," he interrupted whatever the older driver was thinking. "Mum made chocolate cake while you were out and wants you to try it."
"She knows about our diets right?"
"She'll insist until you fly out."
Lando sighed with an amused smile and opened his door.
"I'm not going to say thank you, not yet. I'm not even going to say goodbye."
"It might be your only chance," Sadie reminded him.
Lando shook his head as he stood, brown curls waving in the small breeze. Oscar pushed his door shut gently and ducked his head back through the window.
They watched Lando walk away, oblivious to the fact Oscar wasn't on his heals.
"I saw it happen, at Silverstone," Oscar murmured. "I saw you make the choice."
"I didn't choose. I reacted. There was no choice, or thought process, or thoughts at all, actually. It was just an action."
"An action we're all grateful for, but-" His voice dropped, as if Lando would hear him if he was any louder. "- I want to thank you for making that choice, or doing that action, whatever."
"Stop," Sadie demanded. "Stop, Piastri."
He did. The first one to stop the first time she asked.
She pulled in a deep breathe and calmly explained, "I did what I did. It happened. I know you're all grateful, but it has to stay at that. This is not a movie, where a chance meeting leads to years of friendship."
"I wouldn't call being hospitalised for being a human shield, a chance encounter," Oscar noted dryly.
"You get my point," she replied.
"I do, and I think I understand." He stepped away from the car. "You have our numbers. Call us and we will be there."
Sadie smiled slightly but didn't give him any hope.
"Go, before Lando comes back out."
"It was good to meet you, Piastri."
"Good luck, Sadie."
With that, the handbrake was off, car in gear and she was gone.
----$----
I know y'all loved the Max/Sadie dynamic in chapters 1 and 2 so how about some more Max content next chapter? ;)
Masterlist…
Taglist; @snubug
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The Way Back Home (Spencer Reid x Reader) - Prologue
The Way Back Home (Spencer Reid x Reader) - The Prologue
Word Count: 4001
Reader Insert: she/her pronouns
Warnings: major angst, major fluff, mentions of murder, crime scenes, near-death experiences, slow-burnish romance, death, canon violence, rape, swearing, guns, knives, prostitution, canon cuteness of the team.
Spoilers: Maeve's death, mentions of previous cases or canon events from seasons 1-10.
Spencer and you have an unspoken connection with one another. Nothing has ever happened between you two, especially since everything went down with Maeve, but your love has grown and overcome and is now clear as day to everyone. However, just when Spencer builds up enough courage to ask you out officially, you're requested on an undercover mission that halts your budding relationship in its tracks.
Months go by without a word from you until bodies of prostitutes start showing up in New York and the BAU is brought in to help. Spencer and you finally reunite as both your cases collide, but your lives and your love are both on the line now.
Will you and Spencer be able to find the way back home this time?
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Epilogue
~~~
You released a tired, relieved sigh as you and the rest of the team exited the elevator and walked back into the bullpen. You'd just landed back after a week in Utah chasing a serial killer who turned out to be a mormon. He killed in the name of burning out the false children of God from humanity - literally. The Unsub managed to burn six innocent people alive before they apprehended him.
'I cannot wait to go home for a hot bath and a good glass of scotch,' Rossi said, rubbing at the kink in his neck from the sleep home on the plane.
'Ditto,' Alex said. 'James is home for the weekend, and he has promised me some home made pie that I am very much looking forward to.'
You smiled as you reached your desk, the echo of the others adding to the conversation of what they were looking forward to when they got home warming the usually busy room as they passed you. A sense of comfort and relief washed over you as you placed your go-bag on your desk. Hearing all your friends' voices back in the office after a mission was never a guarantee, so you relished every time you heard them, regardless of the conversation.
You looked up when a figure entered your peripheral vision, and that comfort and warm feeling spread further through you when you saw who it was.
'What about you, Y/N?' Spencer said by way of greeting, a soft smile gracing his own tired features. 'What is waiting for you at home on this fine Friday evening?'
You paused to think about it for a second, a content smile tugging at your lips at the thought. 'Well, unless I've been robbed in the last few days, I will be enjoying a nice glass of moscato while I order pasta from the restaurant below my apartment, and snuggle in with my book that I've spent literally months trying to finish,' you said dreamily, the thought of good food and good wine and a good book sounding almost too good to be true. But Garcia had informed the team before landing that no new cases had been submitted and so you had the weekend to yourselves.
'That all?' he asked, amusement dancing on his lips.
You chuckled, shaking your head. 'I know. First Friday night home in DC in a while and I am choosing to stay at home instead. The utter shame of it all.'
You both laughed, and it pleased you to see his amber eyes light up after the long week you'd had.
'I didn't mean that as a bad thing,' Spencer said, brushing a stray curl from out of his eyes. Even though it was the shortest length it'd ever been, some rogue curls still managed to dangle out of confinement every once in a while. 'What book are you reading?'
'Don't laugh at me, but... The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.'
Spencer's brow furrowed curiously. 'Why would I laugh? I love Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's work.'
You shrugged, casually leaning against your desk as you crossed your arms. 'I know, it just seems a little silly that a federal agent is reading some old detective stories.'
'Actually, Doyle was one of the forefathers of detective fiction, as he brought in the concept that the science of deduction isn't just physical evidence but psychological observations. He created a space where all the sciences we know today can help in solving crime, and actually paved the way for more psychological avenues to be taken more seriously in academia and law enforcement. If you think about it, without Sherlock, you and I may not have our jobs as profilers right now.' Spencer paused when he realised he was rambling, and despite your soft, encouraging smile, he saw the tired blankness in your eyes.
Spencer licked his lips before speaking again. 'What I'm trying to say is... I don't think it's silly at all.'
You nodded your thanks although you knew you didn't need to. 'So what about you?', you asked in return. 'What will entertain Dr. Spencer Reid on this "fine Friday evening"?'
His words repeated back to him kept the smile on his face, more importantly the life in his eyes. But he began to fiddle with the strap of his satchel bag, and you couldn't help but notice he slightly swayed. Like he was nervous or something. It was cute.
He was cute.
You forced the rising heat in your cheeks to stay underneath the surface to not give away your embarrassment or your inner thoughts. Thoughts you'd been having since the day you'd met him six years ago. Thoughts that you'd suppressed so as to not interfere with your work, and then later so it wouldn't ruin your hard-built friendship.
When he told you about Maeve, you'd had mixed feelings. Of course, you'd been ecstatic for him that he'd found someone he could be himself with, and even more so when he disclosed to you that no one else knew about her - just you. But you couldn't deny the twinge of sadness that pulled at your heart knowing that that someone he could be himself with wasn't you.
But you hadn't hesitated, hadn't faltered when he'd needed a shoulder to cry on when Maeve was killed. Once he decided to open up and accept help, you were first in line to help keep the young doctor afloat in his sea of grief and loss.
It's been over a year since Maeve's death now, and while she would always remain important in his heart, he had, for the most part, moved on, slowly getting back to be his usual, quirky, logical self.
The past year and a bit has only brought you two closer together, and as much as you have tried to hide how amazing that makes you feel, you've had plenty of conversations with Penelope and others on the team about finally asking the boy wonder out. It's not like you didn't want to, but if Maeve was his type of girl, you just weren't sure you were what Spencer was looking for in a romantic partner. Besides, you were happy with your friendship.
It was by far the most precious relationship you had aside from your family - why ruin it?
You quickly realised you'd both been silent for a while, Spencer still not having answered your question yet. 'Spence?' you prompted gently.
The cute doctor managed to grasp his satchel strap fiercely and ground himself back in the present. 'R-Right. I too have a book at home. The one you got me for my birthday, actually.'
'Oh yes!' The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes. You'd been hooked from the first line, and by the time you finished, all you could think about was how much you thought Spencer would enjoy it. So you instantly wrapped up your own personal copy and waited for Spencer's birthday to roll around. You never told him it was yours, you just hoped he didn't notice the slight bend in the spine or minuscule tears in some pages from you flipping them too quickly. 'I've been meaning to ask you if you enjoyed it or not. I just assumed you'd read it already.'
'We've just been so busy with cases lately. I haven't had time to even consider picking it up.'
You rolled your eyes. 'Come on, we both know you could've finished that book on one of our plane rides.'
He shrugged, eyes dipping for a moment before landing back on you. 'I know. I guess... I just wanted to give it the time and attention it deserved,' he settled on, and the honesty in both his words and his eyes threatened to steal your breath.
A silence that rested between comfortable and awkward settled upon you two. This had happened many times in recent weeks although you weren't quite sure why. Regardless of your hidden feelings and the tragedy of Maeve, neither of you lost your comfortability with one another.
'So... we've both got book dates tonight,' you said in an attempt to break the silence. The rest of the team was still chatting just a little away from them, but it felt like it was just the two of you sometimes when you talked.
'Well, actually, maybe...' Spencer started, and his fingers were twitching again. 'I was wondering if maybe you'd want t-to bring your book over and... join me, tonight.'
The request wasn't an unusual one. In fact, you'd conducted your own mini book club between the two of you on plenty of occasions. Mainly because you both found out you were the kind of people that liked your personal time and space, but didn't like the thought of being completely alone. This wasn't new, but it warmed your heart all the same at the gesture.
'That sounds great, Spence!' you said heartily. 'Give me half an hour and I'll be around at yours-'
'Actually,' Spencer interrupted, 'I was thinking we could grab some dinner together first. You know, like at a restaurant or some place you can sit in at.'
'...Like a date?' you asked softly, breathlessly. The words just kind of slipped from you before you even contemplated how they would affect Spencer. It just felt natural and right.
Your heart pounded like a jackhammer between your ribs, but you were more concerned at what expression Spencer would pull in the next five seconds.
To your relief, he smiled that small little smile of his that spoke volumes of his insecurity but also of his genuine intentions. 'Yeah. I guess it is like a date,' he finally replied.
Oh my goodness. He was nervous. His words were rushed and higher-pitched in tone. but you still managed to understand him, as well as what dinner implied.
A half-smile pulled at your lips. 'Dr. Spencer Reid,' you began softly, half-scared, half-excited to speak the words you'd been holding back for so long. 'Are you asking me out on a date right now?'
At your words, his anxiety seemed to disappear, as he stopped fidgeting with the satchel strap and took a daring step closer to you. 'I guess I am.'
You couldn't stop it now, the smile of pure joy you'd been holding back from splitting your face open. After years of suffering silently, of repressing the truth, it was all worth it for that one question.
'So what do you say, SSA Y/N L/N,' he quipped cheekily. 'Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?'
The answer was right there in the tip of your tongue, almost spewing from you, when your name was called out across the bullpen for all to hear.
The globe of silence and serenity that had built around Spencer and yourself suddenly shattered as you both, alongside the rest of the team, turned to Hotch standing in his office doorway. But while you all looked at him, his hard gaze was honed in on you.
'L/N,' he called again, having your attention now. 'Can I see you in my office, please?'
You looked between him and Spencer, unsure who to answer first. In the end, you were still technically on the clock so you nodded at your boss and said, 'Sure, I'll be in there shortly.'
'This can't wait, I'm sorry.'
It was the seriousness and discomfort in his voice that caused you to throw aside your personal agenda, giving Spencer an apologetic look before quickly making your way through the bullpen, up the stairs and into his office. You tried not to look at your team too much as you did, but you felt their gazes on the back of your head nevertheless.
They were just as confused as you were, then.
'Close the door,' Hotch instructed gently, to which you obliged. He pointed to the seat on the other side of his desk. 'Have a seat.'
'Everything okay, Hotch?' you asked, taking a seat in the chair. 'Oh no. Did I make an error in one of my reports again?'
'No, nothing like that,' he reassured you, which didn't help your already built up worry. For a moment, it was just you two sitting in his office in silence; you waited for him to explain his mysterious actions, while he seemed to struggle to find the right words.
He never struggled to find the right words.
You leaned forward in your seat, worry furrowing your brow. 'Hotch. What's wrong?'
'Nothing is wrong, so to say,' he insisted, but his frown remained. 'I've just been in contact with your old unit chief from Organised Crime. They believe there is an underground operation being conducted by gang leaders in Manhattan that involves the transporting, selling and purchasing of girls and women in the prostitute industry.'
'Okay,' you drawled out, more confused than ever. 'What has this got to do with us?'
'It doesn't,' Hotch answered immediately. 'Just you. Your old unit chief wants you back to go undercover in the case.'
'What?' You stood up from your seat instead of shouting, but goodness it took all your strength not to. 'Why do they need me? They have a whole squadron of agents to choose from.'
'They want a profiler to help them find out who these people are first, then go undercover and become part of the operation's inner circle and report back to them,' Hotch explained, although his tone displayed his displeasure in saying so. 'Y/N, you have more experience in undercover missions than anyone else on this team, even before you joined us as a profiler.'
You knew his words to be true, but the reality of it all was an ever-growing weight on your chest. 'What they are asking, Hotch, could take weeks, months even. Those kind of people will not trust so easily,' you tried reasoning with him.
You couldn't help but look through the blinds to your team still standing and talking outside in the bullpen. To Spencer, who had joined the team since you had left, but just looked at the window as if he could find out what was going on behind the glass and blinds if he looked long enough. It broke your heart to think you wouldn't see him for months, maybe even years.
Because that was the thing with undercover missions. Once you assumed the life of someone else, your old life became non-existent. That meant no contact with anyone outside of the case as a safety precaution.
That meant no talking to Spencer, or anyone in the BAU, until the case ended. Or unless you were killed, in which case you wouldn't be able to do a lot of talking anyways.
You turned back around at the sound of Hotch standing from his seat and coming around the desk to speak directly in front of you, no walls to hide behind. 'You know I wouldn't be asking if I hadn't tried to change their mind first. But even I can't argue that you are the best agent for the job.'
You nodded your understanding even if you hated to admit he was right. 'I guess it's not one of those jobs that I can decline, is it?'
Hotch shook his head regrettably. 'Head Chief requested for you personally. You've already been taken off the roster here at the BAU so you're not disturbed by other cases.'
Hearing that was just rubbing salt in the wound, and you hated the burning feeling of tears rising at the back of your eyes. You were already gone from here, like a ghost that didn't realise she was one to begin with.
Hotch's hand rested heavy on your shoulder as he comforted you. 'We can discuss your return to work when your mission is over. You will always have a place with us, Y/N.'
You attempted a smile, but it was strained as you tried to force back tears. You wiped at the strays that dribbled down your cheeks, pulling yourself back together before speaking again. 'All right. How long do I have before I am expected in the Big Apple?'
'There's someone waiting for you at your apartment already. They'll take you to their headquarters when you're done packing tonight.'
You sucked in air as you felt your whole world tilt unstably. Tonight. You had to leave tonight. Again, you found yourself seeking out Spencer through the half-closed blinds.
'So what do you say, SSA Y/N L/N? Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?'
You bit your lip as you blinked your tears away, trying but failing to ignore the cry of your heart as its strings were pulled harshly. 'Tonight?' you asked in the hope you'd misheard.
But no such hope existed, unfortunately.
'Yes,' Hotch said, that one word the final nail in the coffin of your impending suffering. 'I'm sorry. This goes without saying, but don't mention any of this to the team as you leave. Only myself and Section Chief Cruz will know where you are and the details of your mission.'
You huffed out a joyless laugh. 'Hiding truths from a team of profilers is like playing poker with a mirror attached to your face,' you said, and you didn't bother to hide your displeasure and sadness when you did. 'They're going to ask questions, and they will find out the truth eventually.'
'Let me worry about that,' Hotch said gently, letting go of you and leaving a cold mark where his hand once was. 'You've got bags to pack.'
'Right.' You sucked in a few deep breaths before making your way to the door. tears burned at your eyes again but you couldn't let the team see you like this. You couldn't let Spencer see you like this.
Because you had a job to do. And you always finished a job.
Before you could open the door handle, however, Hotch stopped you once more. 'Y/N.'
You looked at him, forcing an expression of blankness and indifference. 'Yes, sir?'
He must've seen your inner struggle, as he offered one of those genuine smiles of his that were oh so rare. 'We'll see you when you get back,' he said.
It wasn't a promise or a done deal, but it was the most hope you could ask for right now. So you smiled your thanks, nodded your goodbye, and opened the door back into the bullpen.
Immediately, all eyes set upon you and the room grew quiet. Your first instinct was to cry, then to run, then to blurt everything out because you hated keeping secrets. But you remembered what had just been said, and you whipped a bright smile onto your face to hide your despair.
'Don't you guys have homes to go to?' you asked cheerily, walking down the stairs as casually as possibly. You would've bee-lined for your bag, but if you moved too quickly they would suspect something. 'I recall hot baths and scotch were awaiting most of us, are they not?'
Thankfully Rossi took the bait, and picked up his go-bag in a huge huff. 'The lady is right. I spend enough time with you people as is, I am not wasting anymore not drinking and soaking.'
'Soaking in what? The bath or scotch?' JJ asked, also picking up her go-bag to make her way back to the elevator.
The group devolved into laughs and other jests, and you breathed a sigh of relief as you picked up your go-bag and followed them. Before you could though, a gentle call of your name halted you in your tracks, out of both politeness and frozen fear.
'Hey,' Spencer started, looking between you and Hotch's office. 'What was all that about?'
'Oh, uh, nothing super important,' you said, scrambled as you words were. 'Just a paperwork issue. Again.'
He broke out in smile that set your heart aflutter despite your inner turmoil. 'You know, you really shouldn't do paperwork on the plane when you're tired if you're just going to make a mistake. You're better off leaving it to the morning when your brain and body has rested enough to comprehend what the paperwork is asking of you.'
'Well sorry if I don't want to do a mountain of paperwork when I come back into the office,' you countered, grateful for the playful distraction as you made it over to the elevator. The others were just piling in when Spencer halted you again.
'So...' he dragged out, eyes flickering between you and teh floor nervously, '...what do you say?'
'To what?' you asked.
'To dinner. You didn't have time to give me an answer before.'
Shit. Your voice failed you now as you grasped at words - any words - to tell him. Your heart screamed yes, but there was someone waiting for you back home. A home you wouldn't be visiting for who knows how long.
Capitalising on your gaping mouth, you forced out a yawn and feigned covering it up out of embarrassment. 'Oh my goodness, sorry about that. Um, actually, now that you mention it, I am pretty beat. I'm just... going to go home and sleep it off if that's all right.'
It pained you to see his smile drop at your words, to see the hope leave his beautiful eyes at your rejection. And you knew you shouldn't say anything or make promises you couldn't keep, but you couldn't just leave him with no hope.
'Maybe next week sometime,' you offered, hoping your smile could bring some of that light back. 'You know, you've never tried the Italian Restaurant under my apartment before. We could go there. On me.'
Instinctively, you reached for his hand, relishing in the warmth it held and brought into you. To your relief, he didn't pull away. Instead, you got your smile back, and a little light returned to his eyes. You were kind of glad you wouldn't be around when the light left him completely.
'Okay,' he said softly, surprising you with a gentle squeeze of your hand in his. 'It's a date.'
'Yeah,' you replied, trying and failing to push aside the fluttering sensation his words gave your heart. You were only prolonging not only your pain, but his.
Selfish. So selfish.
'Come on, you two,' Derek called out from the elevator. 'I can't hold these doors open forever. Savannah will kill me if I miss our dinner reservations.'
You both quickly made it in to the elevator before Derek let them close on you, and then you were caught up in the chaos that was your team. You weren't sure how you got onto the topic of what scotch goes best with what foods, but you didn't care. It made you happy to know they never let the weight of a dark case get in the way of living their own lives to them fullest.
You all reached the car park and before you could make a run for your car, Spencer called out to you. 'See you Monday, Y/N!'
You turned back around to face not only him, but Derek, JJ, Penelope, Alex, and David as they all slowly went for their cars too.
You caught yourself staring at them, taking their happy faces in one last time before you left them behind. Hotch said you'd always have a place with the BAU, but you weren't sure how long this mission would take. And if you'd be replaced by then.
You forced a smile onto your face and waved them farewell. 'Yeah, see you then.'
You hated the bitter taste the lie brought to your mouth, but you managed to keep it together long enough that you got in your car and drove out of the car park without any more issues. That's when the tears came.
You wouldn't be there next Monday, and were not getting that date with Spencer next week.
It hurt you more to think that you may not get that date at all.
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dawg, lemme tell you somethin, I LOVE your writing style so far and I want more SO BAD !! I’ve been stuck by myself in the “I’ve been an arcana fan since release but now it’s like dead” hole, so I’ve been absolutely starving for content. Your headcanons are such a great length and so descriptive, each one feels like I’m reading a whole fanfiction, and it’s a real treat. I cant wait for more !! 🥺🥺 If I ever get around to scribbling some stories based on your thoughts, I am tagged u on SIGHT.
I’ve never requested headcanons before but what about m6 with an mc who walks with a cane?
The Arcana HCs: M6 with an MC who walks with a cane
~ thank you for the positive feedback @taduki ! I'm so happy when I find out my ramblings bring people joy. I have a few friends who use canes regularly, but I don't have any personal experience. I'm basing this off of the little bit of research I did and the experiences I've heard about, so if I make any mistakes please let me know so I can correct them ~
Julian
He thinks it's hot
He's a doctor, he's familiar with mobility aids and the many reasons someone may need/want to use one
Dude literally had three years of experience as an apprentice under Nazali in active warzones amputating limbs
He's the type of guy who loves learning new things, so once you're comfortable going into detail about your condition to him he will have so many questions
And then he's going to go do research about it
And then he's going to come back with even more questions
But mostly he just thinks it's hot, canes just have so much dramatic potential
Can you keep a sword in it? Can you use it like a club? You would make such a good pirate with him
Once you explain that it's actually easier to use if it's lightweight and easy to store he'll stop suggesting modifications
But if you have it with you while you're out and you don't feel like using it he'll keep it hooked over his arm or clenched in his fist because deep down he's a theatre kid
Asra
However much they knew about mobility aids before the Red Plague, they learned everything they could after you woke up
He's so tuned in to you he can tell at a glance what kind of day you're having and will act accordingly
When they were reteaching you magic some of the first spells they taught you were what they remembered you using to help with your disability
He has definitely enchanted your cane before, mostly with your permission
One of the useful ones was a shrinking/growing rune so you could keep it in your pocket
Less useful was when one of your customers made a rude comment about you not moving as fast as they wanted you to around the shop
So they enchanted it to trip them on sight
He forgot to tell you, you didn't find out until the rude customer came back on a day you weren't using it and you watched your cane fly across the room to thwack them across the shins
They're not allowed to touch your cane without your permission anymore
Nadia
The evening she first arrived in your shop you weren't using it so she didn't notice it until you arrived at the palace the next evening
When she realized she had been getting annoyed at you for being late, only to see you walk in with a mobility aid, she felt awful
It was also a wake up call realizing how many stairs you had to climb just to get to the front doors of the palace
She doesn't want to pry or burden you, but she's also deeply committed to providing for your every need, and there's a day or two of her waffling back and forth between pumping you for information and pretending there's nothing unusual afoot
Once you open up about it she's very invested
Every outfit she gifts you comes with a high quality cane, beautifully painted to match
After everything's done with the Devil and she's reworking Vesuvia's infrastructure she is definitely taking accessibility into account
She's not going to burden you with her education or assume you're an archetype, but she makes sure you know that your input is more than welcome on any and all of her plans
Muriel
That trip with Morga was hell on your body
You spent weeks riding and walking for hours with minimal rest, trying to learn physical self-defense tactics at the same time
He may be gruff but he's not cruel, he was offering to carry your bags (or you) by the third day in
Seeing how patient you were with both Morga and yourself was one of the things that convinced him to open up to you and trust you
He prefers speaking with actions more than words
One of the first gifts he gave you was a beautifully crafted cane, lightweight and incredibly durable, with the story of your journey together carved into it
He also customized it to work with you perfectly, because he knows better than anyone what a body in discomfort moves like and he's memorized all of your tells
When you move into his hut with him he makes trails through the woods for you so you don't have to worry about uneven ground or roots or loose stones
He is also very happy to carry you around if you ask him to (he will blush the whole time though)
Portia
It's cannon that the first time you meet she out walks you across Vesuvia
It takes her a little while to adjust her assumptions
Not because she thinks badly of anyone who uses a mobility aid, but because it's her job to be on her feet all day long and the concept of having difficulty doing that is totally new to her
There are definitely a few moments when she bounds up the stairs two at a time, only to wait awkwardly at the top silently berating herself for not paying closer attention
The first time she matches her pace to yours on a slower day for you her whole worldview shifts
Being the type to power-walk everywhere, this is the first time she's been able to notice all these beautiful details around her
Was that painting always there? The fabric on those curtains is gorgeous!
Now it's one of her favorite things about who she becomes around you
She will (and does) throw hands with anyone who makes a disparaging comment about you moving too slowly
Pepi tried to jump up onto your cane once when it was propped up against a table and made the biggest crash when she fell
Lucio
Ooh, nice accessory, he's got one too!
It should be shinier though. Don't worry, he'll fix that for you as soon as he's no longer an incorporeal goatman
He has no filter between his brain and his mouth, he is bombarding you with questions. Why do you use it? Were you in a particularly nasty fight?
For once he's not being remotely judgemental (except about the fashion sense involved), dude has an entire missing limb
Sometimes he'll reminisce about what it was like before he got the alchemical prosthetic he has now, and will ask you if you have any ideas for your cane
He is very happy to carry things for you and often suggests you use his golden arm to lean on instead
He says it's more fashionable this way, but really it's a point of common ground for him and he likes having you close and being dependable
If you let him he will absolutely buy a pair of matching canes for the two of you, yours to help you move around and his to make grand sweeping gestures with
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Okay... So this request might be weird and it's nothing really like dating or anything like that.
I've been having this idea like... What would X-virus do if the reader had a large pet Ascaris Nematode and takes care of huge bacteria as well?
Like, the reader would take care of the bacteria and they separate the dead bacterias into a container for the nematode's to eat. And the bacteria would be the size of a grown mans hand while the nematode is as big as a average dressor.
My oc does this and I am curious as to how other people will write about this.
This is such a cool concept i literally love this!! And for x-virus too?! Ugh, wonderful
Also I did my best with some light research, but ya boy does not know much about bacteria so i apologize if something is inaccurate <//3
Thank you so much for requesting!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
X-Virus with a pet Ascaris Nematode
Generally, he would think your pets are really cool
(With your permission) he would love to go study and observe your pet(s)
He's never really heard of anyone taking care of bacteria like this, so he is curious to see how domestication affects the species
Even if they aren't really like other living things with consciousness, he still thinks it would be cool to study
The only times he interacts with bacteria is either for his job, or for studies
Never just to have fun with it
He will ask you to just do your thing, go about feeding your bacteria, cleaning their enclosures, etc
He will be observing, writing notes down, taking pictures and taking videos the entire time
And then, once he is satisfied, he will go back to his room and study further on his own
He will heavily cross reference behavioral things with your pet bacteria, seeing how the average kind of whatever bacteria he's studying at the moment compares with the bacteria you keep as pets
He would also like to get some hands on experience
Whatever you are comfortable with him doing, he will do
He will help feed, help clean, help organize, etc
And he will also study how the bacteria react to him versus you taking care of them
Once he is certain his study on your pets is complete, he will share his findings with you
And depending on the outcome of the studies, he may begin collecting different bacteria for himself, pushing the limits to see just how many different types of bacteria can be "domesticated"
He will keep them in his lab, though
Far away from his beloved pet bunny Jade
If the bacteria got anywhere near her, he'd freak out
He will also request for your help in studying his own pet(s)
Considering you have the experience, he finds you trustworthy enough to help him out
And then the process starts over again
He studies, he records, he cross references, etc
And every now and then, he will come visit your pets, bidding them a good morning/afternoon/night and talking to them
Those nematodes probably know his darkest secrets at this point
"yeah, i was in and out of fostercare my whole life"
"..."
"it was really stressful for me, but i found my love of science through it, so i can't be too mad"
"..."
"yeah, you get it"
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I wanted to make a larger post about ATSV because I've been listening to the soundtrack on loop for the past week, I'm going to see it again tomorrow, and I just made a very astute observation about the film and its music (and no, this is not a chance to show off my music film degree shut up--)
So, in the previous Spiderverse-film there was a lot of focus placed on the Original Soundtrack. I mean the songs used in the film (diegetically) and which were inspired by Miles' story. It included stuff like Sunflower and What's up Danger.
It meant that there was less emphasis on the film score, written by Daniel Pemberton. Apart from only Miles' theme throughout his journey, and his fight theme in the collidor 'Miles Morales Returns' there isn't much of a focus on the score itself. It falls to the wayside unless people actively go to listen to it. I mean, the cover art for it was actually really simple until recently. The big 'Spider-man' graphic wasn't there a few weeks ago.
Now, there's nothing bad about this at all, and in fact I haven't come here to criticise this, only to observe and possibly gush about how it's changed. Because it has changed; this time in ATSV there's less of a focus on the OST and more on the score. It's far more prevailent, to the point where each Spider person is getting their own theme.
That includes Gwen, Miguel, Miles, Pav, and Hobie. And each actually sounds really well characterised.
Gwen's, which is heard really prevalently during the battle with Vulture at the beginning is very drum heavy (obviously), but the main melody rises in quick succession in what could be a slide, but nearly couldn't because you hear each individual note. We know for a fact that Gwen is the only Spider person in her Earth, so it could almost be a nod to her rising to the challenge. Learning to defend her city whilst also always getting back up. Someone also pointed out that the drum solo heard at the beginning is used at the end, and is part of her theme. It also makes sense why she would form the Spider band, because the drums form the foundation so that the other instruments can build upon it.
Miguel's is first heard when he steps through the portal, and obviously it sounds ominous and menacing. But, I don't believe he's a bad guy. Someone said here that there's a difference between an antagonist and a villain. Miguel is the antagonist, which is reflected in his theme, because he is far different to the other Spiders. He's a vampire, for one, his world is set in 2099, and he was the first to figure out the canon events. The setting is why, I think, his theme is so techno in style. It also has the same rise and fall motif that is similar to Gwen's, a bit of word painting in a sense.
We then come to the main character Miles, who's theme we did experience before in the first film, but it's far more developed in this one. For one thing, it's longer in time, second, it's set during the chase scene with the Spot. We know from the last film that Pemberton is a master at meshing the diegetic music into his score (for example adding in some of Miles' theme into What's up Danger) and it's no different here. At one point, he changes the record scratches (which are literally him scratching the vinyl recording of the score) to the screeches the goose makes whilst Spot and Miles are duking it out in Foam Party. And obviously more rising scales, and epic orchestration but meshed with the record scratches and errant cowbells.
I think Pav and Hobie are my favourite new characters. Like Pav 'Just coconut oil, prayer, good genetics' 'chai tea? chai is tea! Do you want some coffee coffee with a side of cream cream?'. He makes me laugh every time and he's such a sunshine boy I wanna squish--
ahem. anyway.
Obviously, Pav's theme is very culturally accurate, but he hasn't been able to get away from the traditional record scratches and hints of techno like the other Spiders. It doesn't have the rise and fall motif (yet) but that could be because he hasn't been Spider-Man all that long (six months and he still got a badge) and he hasn't experienced any of the major sacrifices Spider-Man usually does. And we hope that he doesn't anyway, cause they need a bright and smiley Spidey that's not weighed down by the weight of his fecking responsibility.
What can I say about Hobie's theme. What can't I say about Hobie's theme. It is downright headbanging screaming at authority fuck the monarchy english punk!! I love it to bits, the way it reminds me of so many other great bands whilst also being really bloody original. Good drum runs like holy shit, good guitar riffs (you can bet their fingers might be bleeding by the end of it) and it just gives the vibes of late 70s. It just fits so so well.
All of it does, the whole score is amazing and I would absolutely adore to pick Daniel Pembertons' brain in finding out how he decided each Spider would sound. Like, the tiny details every creator put into this film is insane.
Each Spider even has their own unique thwipping sound how specific can you get!!!
Anyway, I'm done. For those of you who read through this, know I did it during half of my lunchbreak because this film is giving me brainrot.
<3
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sa fic rec list [ENG] pt 3
preface: i have a public collection on ao3 of my favorite sa fics on there but not all of them are listed on the front-end so these are some unlisted ones, some i love that can't be added to collections, and one special fic on ffn for fun :)
past non-english language rec lists here and here. ao3 collection here.
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1) Prince Sabo by drowningrat
https://archiveofourown.org/works/43683183
complete - T rating - 3k - au
this one is rly cute domestic fluff modern au goodness. will never get enough of it, rat's prose and dialogue are too good. ace finds out from a former uni classmate of sabo's how many people sabo's dated before him and gets unreasonably jealous and drunkenly confronts sabo about it at home much to sabo's chagrin. it's really. it's adorable. nothing i say will ever come close to how giddy reading the fic makes me feel. their dynamic is TOO cute they are tooth-rotting with how sweet they are. if you want a quick read pls give this one a chance
2) Song Of Genesis by Echaryn
https://archiveofourown.org/works/8544379/chapters/19587928
complete - E rating - 45k - au
this one is my most favorite saboace fic of all time. i cannot recommend it highly enough, it's that fantastic. this is coming from someone who doesn't read nsfw anymore and hasn't for years now – song of genesis literally is and will always be number one in my heart. if you also don't care abt explicit content, i can assure you it's entirely skip-able in this fic w/o losing any enjoyment or context.
SoG is a 'getting back together' type fic that stabs your heart at every angle and at every opportunity during the beginning. echaryn is a fantastic writer and handles the contents of the story so so so well. the break-up is ace's fault but he doesn't know why / the break-up is sabo's decision but he regrets it at every turn. they're still so deeply in love with each other and one turn of events late one evening is the catalyst to bring them back together.
there are horror elements in this in the background that are done spectacularly well. the tags on the fic itself pretty much cover the extent of it but i do wanna throw by two cents in that i don't think anything about it is particularly graphic. if horror isn't your thing this is toned down enough that you should be fine to skim thru or skip parts if necessary. it's good for a horror enthusiast but it's not over the top for those who could care less.
if you read anything from this list pls read che's #1 saboace fic rec of all time pls and ty
3) Red Moon by emygrl99 and leafyxthiefy
https://archiveofourown.org/works/6703183/chapters/15330946
complete - T rating - 123k - au
red moon is still, six years after first reading it, the most interesting and well-crafted premise for a soulmate au i've ever heard of in my life. if you're familiar with a majority of soulmate bond types and know this particular one then you'll probably pick it up before the reveal, but if not ooooooooooo you're in for a treat. i won't mention it here to save the suspense.
i've never read another soulmate fic as good as this one, and the soulmate aspect isn't necessarily even the best part?? the atmosphere of the fic comes from character relationships and interactions. ace and sabo start out on the wrong foot and it takes time for them to change their opinions about each other, but as you can see by the length, the journey is done with patience and well worth the effort spent :)
as someone indifferent to a lot of the minor characters in this fic, i actually enjoyed them and their various roles a lot??? i guess the takeaway is that you should look at the character list and take it in stride (and the minor relationship that is tagged is v minor like if it's not your cup of tea pls still give the fic a chance). everyone is a joy to read and experience things through. also the world-building is so well done. i have not been into vampire content for many years now but i can say with full confidence that this one still slaps.
also as someone who enjoys like... not necessarily "slow burn" but like a natural progression of a relationship from people who just met into something romantic – this fic hits all those points for me surprisingly well??? my only complaint is that as long as it is sabo and ace barely admit their feelings for each other by the end. i live and breathe to see romantic relationships in fic and red moon is primarily build-up. the two have to be friends first, which takes time and is good! not knocking the fic for that. jus throwing it out there that it's one of the they-hold-hands-by-the-end shoujo-type stories.
maybe before this gets too long i should uh. TALK abt what the fic entails. it's a fantasy-esque story where sabo, a vampire hunter, is captured and taken prisoner by a vampire coven living in the mountains. while he's being held captive, he discovers luffy, the little brother he'd thought was dead for years, is living among the vampires and is the same age at which he supposedly died. this triggers some mixed emotions in sabo about the coven and its members, but most importantly gives him incentive to act iffy in regards to luffy's "father", ace, who is not intent on being at all friendly with sabo either.
4) Epiphany by Scarletsorceress
https://archiveofourown.org/works/30518460
complete - T rating - 5.5k - canon(divergent)
everything scarlet writes for acesabo is done immaculately. if you read this fic and like it, please do yourself a favor and read all of her other fics as well. there are some real gems she has in her collection, but this one has a special place in my heart considering i really don't read sa fics sets in canonverse all that much.
also because it paints a side of the one piece world that i like seeing a lot in fan content – specifically how gruesome it is and the dire straits average everyday citizens go to to survive above the waves. not even to have a peaceful or even "good" life, but just to life long enough in good health to make it count. one piece follows the strawhats as focus characters, which is why i've never been concerned about reading fic starring them. reading about non-titular characters that dont' get as many updates, or that oda teases the lives of without going into depth, has always been more interesting.
and to go with that, the revolutionary army has by far always been the most interesting group of people in the op-verse for me. any fic that focuses on them and paints a picture of their struggle is worth a read. the fact that this is saboace is great, and i love it, but it's also a bonus to a great fic concept in general, which is:
what happens to RA members when a mission goes south and people are killed as a result of their actions?
i don't think the RA gets enough credit for how well they individually hold themselves together. it's fine to portray a kind of "escapism" and have them be happy because they deserve to be happy, but fics like this where it dives into how much their actions (and failures) affect them are always, to me, taking the RA and stripping them of their masks.
also ace is really, really loving and caring and kind and supportive in this fic, which i love seeing. sabo is a miserable wet rag after a mission gone wrong and ace is there to pick up the pieces. bonus points to the dynamic of ace and koala i love them sm in this????? so so so much.
5) In the Morning with a Cup of Warm Tea by sleepymery
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17241962
complete - T rating - 2k - au
this is another from the back-end of the ao3 collection – jus a short and sweet modern au full of domestic fluff!!! that is my bread and butter especially for fics from fandoms where canonverse is so tumultuous and full of strife. which op definitely is!!!! also its not like ace and sabo's canon relationship is happy anyway /shot
this one is happy and cute. a typical morning w sabo and ace on an anniversary of sorts :) all of maery's sa fics are adorable. i used to come back to this one all the time several years ago.
6) How We're Made by paox
https://fanfiction.net/s/12624109/1/How-We-re-Made
complete - T rating - 177k - au
i love this one with all my heart and soul. i was actually in the middle of re-reading it a couple years back when it got deleted from ao3 which is :( but it's still up on ffn so!!! ffn it is hehe.
paox at one point was definitely my favorite saboace fic writer and might still be. her prose and writing style in general is so phenomenal in my eyes. the way she writes asl individually and as a dynamic trio (and their various duos as well) really left a mark on me when i first got into one piece. she truly does understand their characters perfectly, and even in a dystopian au such as this, they stay true-to-form throughout.
side note, the majority of this fic focuses on asl and sabo and ace's relationship doesn't change until near the end. it's probably a minor spoilers to say it does but this is a sa rec list so. anyway i threw this up here bc i love paox's writing and this one is complete and more than a drabble. the way she paints sabo's character as a person broken down by an oppressive system, who rises to light the fire of revolution and never stops seeing the good in humanity, it's just perfect to me. this is the man oda brought back from the dead to play a crucial role in the second half of one piece. paox gets it. sabo is so well-written and so true-to-form that any other attempt at his character by anyone else is almost laughable in comparison. this is THE sabo fic of the list.
i have another paox fic (two i think!!) in the front-end list of the ao3 collection so definitely give those reads as well :) one is incomplete but will break your heart nonetheless, the other i think is a longer drabble that has my heart by the throat. i think all the ones still on ao3 are compiled under their old ffn account as well, so navigating to them this the HWM fic link might be a better choice. if you can read on ffn lmaoooo adblockers are your friends.
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I completed Anne Brontë's Agnes Grey in one day yesterday. I'm in a book hangover, but here are my initial thoughts on the novel, as well as on Anne:
- Anne is an underrated Queen, but I already knew that from The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, her second novel. If only she hadn't died at 29! Agnes Grey was her first foray into novel publishing, and proves how much she developed her talents in the interim between itself and Tenant, which most people would agree is much better.
Yet, for a debut novel, Grey is nevertheless impressive. Her acute observations and descriptions of social experiences are some of the most clear I've ever read, and she was as adept in her satire as Jane Austen. After reading both her novels, Emily's only, and more than one of Charlotte's (Jane, and currently 1/4 through Villette) I can say she's certainly the most moral and progressive Brontë, and maybe even the most socially intelligent. There's a lot of humor in this book, and despite some of the dark themes, it never feels miserable.
Anne was a remarkably resolute woman, which comes through in both her heroines; even when they are oppressed and trapped in the most dire situations, they consciously refuse to adopt a victim mindset, instead trusting in their own strength and resilience. After enduring much suffering, both heroines trust in their faith, focus their energy on creating good lives for themselves, and by doing so achieve happiness in the end.
Anne Brontë's heroines are true examples of female stoics in the original philosophical sense, capable of great empathy and feeling as well as self-control and self-discipline. The Anne Brontë heroine has a quiet confidence about her. She champions moderation and common sense, not because she is boring or easily written off by the misogynistic epithet of "prude," but because she has witnessed true chaos and experienced true misery, and these things have served to make her more calm because she does not internalize them but triumphs over them. She has decided to learn from life's lessons and seek a life of tranquility, simplicity, and faith.
- This novel has everything! We've got the (literally designated) not-so-reformed rake in Sir Thomas Ashby (and what a rakish name that is), we've got some demonic children, we've got a sexy country parson, religious discourse, depictions and poignant criticism of classism, sexism, marriage, animal abuse, etc.
- Mr. Hatfield is basically Mr. Collins from P&P. Matilda rejecting him was golden.
-- The beginning of this novel, summarized: "I can't wait to meet these amazing children I've heard so much about! Gee, I really hope they aren't sociopathic animal torturers! What are the odds, am I right?"
-- No wonder the Brontë's didn't succeed in setting up their own school -- being a governess or teacher was simply horrible back then, as it largely still is today, and I think for the most part some of them simply weren't cut out for the job to begin with -- which is saying nothing bad about them or their abilities. Maybe if they lived today they would have done well as teachers or professors with a little more modern structure and having workers rights, etc...
-- I like the short length of this novel! It goes by very fast, and I read the first 100 pages or so myself very quickly, and the rest in audiobook format, but this is very rare for me. I've become accustomed to the Brontë family "language." I'm glad I didn't start with this novel though; I think it's easier to appreciate Agnes Grey after reading their "greatest hits" (Tenant, Jane, and Heights). It definitely isn't my favorite Brontë novel but then again I don't have a favorite. They each fulfill slightly different functions yet have many overlapping themes, so it's difficult to rank them.
-- I think one of the reasons this novel may not be as popular as it could be is because the first half of the novel is generally bleak and this may cause people to give up. The narrator's life generally improves in the second half of the novel, but still, Grey does not have as much dramatic "umph" as does what I hereby dub the "Brontë Greatest Hits Triad" (Heights/Tenant/Jane) which all will prefer. Still, the novel is worth reading for any Brontë fans as it is good and contains many of the Brontë tropes we all know and love. It also stands as a marked contrast to Anne's second novel The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, and makes me appreciate that novel so much better.
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KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE PROMPTS
* assorted dialogue from the 2014 film
so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon.
do you know what that means?
my people will be getting in touch with you very soon.
what do you see?
if you get blood on the carpet, you're going to have to take the carpet up!
do i look like i give a fuck?
we're here to enhance your skills and test you to the limit.
i was breaking up an undercover spy ring at the pentagon.
i'm famished.
you can't talk to me like that.
if you have a complaint, you come here and whisper it in my ear.
how may i help you?
turn that shit off.
shit. fucking missed it. how did i fucking miss it?
sorry about that. needed to let off a little steam.
and so began our adventure.
nobody thanked me for any of them.
your little experiment failed.
go home.
do you think there's a lot of jobs going around here?
i apologize for putting you in this position.
who the fuck are you? where am i?
do you like spy movies?
did you have any chance to think further on my proposal?
always someone else's fault.
would you care for a drink?
just leave him alone.
i'll deal with this mess... personally.
sorry. gotta save the world.
you were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up.
these, you're familiar with.
would you like a lift home?
i'm sorry. wrong number.
this is my new valet.
grab a seat.
this whiskey is amazing.
no stomach for violence. i mean, literally, i see one drop of blood, that is me, done.
i need to have a private conversation.
well if we don't do something, nature will.
this knife can save your life.
being a gentleman is something one learns.
you're going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit.
don't be ridiculous. it's a hand grenade.
you fucking freak!
can anybody tell me what this is?
fuck! just cut the fucking ropes, please!
can you guess what this is?
is he dead?
looks like a lot of people are going to die.
it's a pleasure to meet you.
how can i understand if you won't tell me anything?
there are not a lot of people who knew about him.
sit down.
ever heard of knocking?
congratulations. bloody well done.
i am inviting you to be part of a new world.
once he explained, i understood.
hope you're hungry.
gotta admit, i was really intrigued to meet you.
words to live by.
i'm awfully sorry.
i had that done already.
i'm so sorry i can't say more.
you know your shit.
i don't want your help.
i killed all those people.
i suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far.
a suit is a modern gentleman's armor.
there is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. true nobility is being superior to your former self.
let me teach you a lesson.
you know what this is like?
i stepped things down because i wasn't getting anywhere.
i see someone with potential.
i seem to have my dates muddled up.
pretty dog. what's his name?
you're a bloody disgrace.
i knew you couldn't make it.
i cancelled the gala because of you.
so we going up or down?
i'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you, and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape.
it was a blank. it was a fucking blank.
i don't doubt it.
how do i get it back in?
this is our standard issue pistol.
if you save the world... we can do it in the asshole.
that tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head.
how deep does this fucking thing go?
limits must be tested.
your weapon scores are excellent, by the way.
is this it?
how do they feel?
nothing personal, if that's your concern.
i'm had a rather emotional day.
one day, you might be as good a spy as any of them.
if you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform.
can't you see that everything i've done has been about trying to repay them?
i'd appreciate it enormously if you could just leave us in peace.
give me the gun.
i'm just in to find out what kind of person you are.
that is sick.
get out.
pull the hook to the left.
i've had my people looking into your affairs.
i'm sure you understand that.
i'm so sorry. please untie me.
ah yes. very very nice.
what did you do to me?
you're full of surprises.
you throw away your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog.
is this the part where you say some... really bad pun?
i will be right back.
no! that wasn't the fucking deal!
you think i've got anything to lose?
how'd your folks make it?
i had no control.
are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight?
thank you for such a happy meal.
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Ironically the good ending Quincey will go into a bloody frenzy during the war and is so scarred by the violence he inflicts he is on the brink of losing his will to live on, but in this bad ending he's hurting no innocents.
Yeah I've been thinking of what the two Quincey's would think of eachother if they ever caught a glimpse of their alternative fates.
Canon Quincey is understandablely horrified by what's happened to his parents and honorsry uncles/grandfather. Dead or maimed or undead and all at eachothers hands and Dracula still alive to cause even more pain. It's an absolute nightmare--but then there's his vampire self.
I think at first he'd be repulsed--seeing himself as a vampire is the thing thats been haunting his nightmares since he first began to realize just what depths of powers he had during the war, and realizing where they came from. It's everything he's terrified to become.
But--this other him is so gentle and innocent, more then he himself has been in years. He as a human has more blood on his hands then a literal vampire, who's known nothing of war or violence and has never had to fear the powers he has or hid them for fear of others not understanding.
Honestly I think he feels guiltily jealous of Vampire Quincey's innocence, comeing as it has at the cost of the misery of so many others.
Vampire Quincey is having perhaps a similar flipped reaction. Here is his family, whole and human, and happy with the friends that he's just seen hold them at gunpoint. He's never seen his father smile so much without sadness, he's never ever heard his mother's voice outside of his head, and to hear her sound so bright and joyful...
It's another indication that everything he's thought about the world and his own existence is wrong and warped and nothing that his parents ever actually wanted.
I do think that seeing themselves so loved by their parents in both worlds is deeply helpful, though, that this at least is constant and unchanging.
I actually think once they started talking and realized how messed up they'd both been by their experiences that they'd end up giving eachother as much support as they know how too. Neither of them are resentful people and their natural inclination is to help when they can, so they're a lot more likely to hug it out then fight.
(Also Human Quincey sees Vampire Quincey and Lu being lovely dovey and his brain short circuits. "Lu? And me?? Little Lu who always tried to tag along and prove she could beat all the boys? US--kissing?!....Do I want my Lu to kiss me? (Oh my gosh I might--oh my gosh I like girls too??)
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The SaMs/LaEs Monty hater in me that skips any and all episodes where it's just Monty+Another character (Like Earth, Lunar, or Moon). I even skip gameplays with him in it. He's only ever nice and decent to Earth, and Lunar by extension. Can't even be nice to other people that Earth cares about. My girl deserves better, I'm sorry, I had to say it. I don't care if he "treats her well", that's the bare minimum. Spoiling her with gifts feels like love-bombing to me or maybe that's just me nitpicking because of what I went through in a previous relationship. But anyway, point is Earth deserves better! He still secretly calls her mommy, like mumbling it and it's ick!
I think Monty stopped calling her Mommy a long time ago. He only called her that during his first meeting with her. And maybe one or two times after that, but... Eh... Shrug.
I do think Monty is an interesting character, but since he's left the main circle cast of TSAMS and got his own show with MAFS, I feel his intelligence has gone down significantly.
They focus more on his rage, and he tends to be more stupid, when in the early days of TSAMS, he was overly cautious when it came to Evil people but he was just stupid with money.
It is interesting to see his character evolve, but I kinda wish we could go back to what he had.
I do like morally grey Characters, and like... Monty is quite an interesting asshole. But I will give him this, he is entertaining for me.
I don't expect my characters in media to behave logically sometimes. And I have a mixed relationship with the direction they're taking Monty right now....
And I'm one of those people who doesn't like him with Earth that much.
At the bare minimum, we know his war crimes were fake, as he admitted in their therapy.
But like...
He has actively threatened Earth's family, (Lunar, Solar... and Ruin if he counts) he has threatened children, and not just FC. In the recent LAES episode, he kinda hinted that he beat up a few children who threw golf balls at him and Earth is just like "haha you're silly." (looking back, she probably thought she was joking)
I mean... they're cute. He treats her nice. But that's the bare minimum.
I feel she can do a whole lot better.
I get that "opposites attract" and everything....
But at some point...
There's a limit.
It almost feels they have nothing in common and are just together cus the vas are dating.
I get that Monty "showed her the world" or whatever and opened her heart to romance. but that could have been anyone....
The episode where Monty faked he was being sick just to cuddle with Earth in MAFS was my least favorite episode and actively triggered me just cause of how closely it resembled abusive relationships I've been in before.
Earth even knowing he's lying but tolerating it cus she likes him to stick around.... FC asking what they love about eachother, and neither of them really have a good answer..... As they both only like eachother for what they can do for eachother. Earth liking that Monty opened her up to new experiences, and Monty liking Earth for what she can do for him. Which to me, feel very surface level.
I've heard people argue: "well, you can't just list on the spot what you like about someone."
Yes I can. I can literally do that with all of my friends and it's a long list and it's not just things that they do for me, it's who they are as a person and more substantial things to little things.
I know Monty and Earth have only been dating for a few months, but I think they would have had more they liked about eachother by now.
So is this me heavily projecting? yeah. Is it wrong if people like Monty and Earth Together? No way! Honestly ship them if you like.
But honestly, for me personally I need something more substantial.
Monty is literally her opposite and they don't have much in common and actively hurts kids and her family when it was something Earth would put her foot down in any other scenario.
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I hope this isn't an unwelcome addition re: your vent about race, but it reminds me of my own experiences.
I didn't know I was latino until I was 13. Yeah there were *very* strong "hints", what with the whole "grandparents only speak spanish with limited english", "parents can speak spanish", "we're brown (except for my mum)", & "eat spanish food at grandparents". But like. I had never heard someone say what we actually were and I was afraid it'd be racist if I assumed we were latino if we might not be. For some reason.
Hah, I remember getting kinda mad at people who (rightly) criticized the "ambiguously brown" trope in media, because it was the experience I most related to. That's what *I* was. I wasn't anything specific, I was just ambiguosly brown for most of my life.
So like. I finally asked my dad what we were and he was essentially like "haha what are you stupid or something. We're LATINO obviously, what a silly question!"
So I just went "Oh okay." And pumped the brakes on our conversation. Quickly after I realised that that wasn't enough for me. "Latino" is a rather broad category, I wanted to know what *exactly* we were.
I felt kind of stupid after that though, and I didn't want to draw attention to how stupid I was by asking a follow up question (nor did I want to talk to my dad), so I just didn't until I was 16.
I got to thinking about it again, and I realised that El Salvador had been mentioned quite a few times in regards to ~parent lore~ (I truly did not know much about my parents. I literally didn't even remember my mum had an older brother. So I'd just try to piece together their stories whenever they ranted to us about like how our other parent had ruined their life or something. Bits and pieces they'd shared with us over the years).
So I texted my dad about it (who I was thankfully far away from by then. Funnily enough this was one of our last conversations before I cut contact with him), and he said we were salvadorians 👍. So yeah.
But like. I feel so disconnected to my culture. I don't even know what our culture IS. And despite now living in a place with many latinos, I feel like I still can't get into it. Firstly because it would involve me interacting with people. But secondly (and most importantly) because I feel like interacting with latinos would just reveal to them how unlatino I am. I can't speak spanish. I know nothing about us.
One thing about it is that I feel like I have to learn Spanish before I'm allowed to try to engage. But learning a whole language takes so much time. And I don't like doing it because it reminds me that I don't already know it! And I *should*!
Oh well. Not like I could've learned it when I was younger, or in that house with my dad. I don't know why they didn't raise us bilingually. But it's not like I could've learned it when I was young either, my dad makes fun of my mum for her spanish (she spoke exclusively Spanish when she was younger, but had to learn English when she moved to the US at 8. She lost a lot of her Spanish since then), which would make me way too nervous to practice spanish and be bad at it at first with him around (he somehow didn't think that would impact us? He ended up wanting us to learn spanish, so good luck with that when you act like *that*).
Also. I keep worrying that I look white. I've always been light skinned, but until 8th grade I thought it was obvious I wasn't white?? But maybe not so. It's not like I can ask people.
In 8th grade the teacher briefly left the room and left me in charge of it (I was seen as the most responsible/trustworthy), so I made a joke about me turning out to be a dictator, to which someone joked about that being racist, to which I said "It's not racist, 'cus I'm not white" (in a manner that I *hoped* conveyed that I was *joking*, and that the joke was that poc can still definitely be racist (I mean c'mon just be around my dad, you'll see)).
And he just stared deadpan at me. I thought he confused me for white, so I kept reiterating that I wasn't, and he just stared and stared at me the whole time.
I realised later that maybe he thought I was being serious, and that was why he wasn't smiling, or maybe he just didn't think the joke was funny.
But like. I couldn't know. "Later" was actually quite a *while* later, so at that point I was already out of school at home all day, under the pretense of "homeschooling" (there was never any schooling).
I don't even know why it matters if I look white. There are plenty of latinos I know of that could pass as white, who I never doubt are latino. Ugh. I don’t know. This is an issue that could be solved by interacting with more latinos. In fact, all of these issues could be solved by hanging out with more latinos. I gotta get over myself sometime and realise that there are PLENTY of latinos who are disconnected from their culture and who don’t know spanish so it's FINE interacting with fellow latinos is FINE there's no way I can fail some sort of latino authenticity test. Whatever. Problems and solutions for later.
because I feel like interacting with latinos would just reveal to them how unlatino I am. I can't speak spanish. I know nothing about us.
hahh. sameee
This is an issue that could be solved by interacting with more latinos.
also same... UNFORTUNATE!
i getcha tho. and i also get the whole "not knowing what we are until i'm a teen" thing. ive always thought it was weird that my mom and dad know a ton about their own family histories but never really made much effort to impress it into us. EH oh well.
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TOP 5 “EZIO’S FAMILY” VERSIONS + TOP 5 TRACKS
Reviving this list from @thatcrazycrowgirl because AC OSTs need love.
Ezio’s Family - Favorite Versions:
Main Theme (AC Rogue)
I'm a sucker for traditional Irish instrumentals, and you can feel the adventure of the North Atlantic through it. It doesn't just convey Shay's sense of freedom, but his will to fight against great odds and tragedy (and the cold). The way it builds up, then when the beat drops, it explodes into the Irish whistle, backed up by a drumbeat that sounds like both a heartbeat and the beating of your oars against the waves -- and then, as it ends, the music disperses into what sounds like a migratory flock of birds flying overhead.
2. Ezio's Family (Origins Version) (AC Origins)
It's a really tired but determined version of this song. You can feel how the chasm between Aya and Bayek is only as deep as their love. The things that bring them together are the same things that separate them: Their love for Khemu, the common folk, and Egypt. AC Origins is so perfect because it conveys the thing we love about the franchise the most: The ability to feel the will of the people reaching out from thousands of years away. This is the sound of hope. I am constantly mentally reliving the scene when the chorus plays for the first time in the game (notice how on the title screen, they always fade out the tune before the chorus actually drops, so they tease you with the signature beginning of Ezio's Family, but only the beginning):
"Good Bayek of Siwa. What are you of now?"
"A new creed. Ours is finished."
3. The Flight (AC Odyssey)
Just like Legend of the Eagle Bearer, you can feel the literal odyssey in it. You feel the tides under your ship. Also, those vocals? Fucking fantastic. I thought I was done with Ezio's Family remakes when Odyssey came out, but then I actually listened to it. Oof. Amazing.
4. Main Theme (AC Chronicles: India)
I'm a sucker for strings. Like, this is why I love Shao Jun's version, but I've spent my whole life listening to pipa and gu zheng strings, ykyk, so I love it a lot, but AC India gives me just the right amount of familiarity in terms of string instrumentals while giving me the sense of a completely different world. It's the novelty for me. It's also just super chill and puts me in a good headspace, while still ending on an exciting, high note. There's also a tempo at the beginning where I feel like I'm listening to a clock tick.
(Oof, there's no gif for him. Sadge.)
5. Earth (AC 2)
Yo, when I tell you that the first time I played AC 2 and Ezio put on his father's Assassin's robes, and this played, I lost my goddamned MIND. I used to listen to this song, Ezio's Family, and Venice Rooftops one after the other like they were all one really long song, on loop, to get myself to fall asleep. I feel like I'm leaping from rooftop to rooftop, until I've achieved full flight. Ugh. Just. Perfection.
Honorable Mention: Somewhere between AC Unity and AC Syndicate versions, because hot DAMN, you really feel the beat of their cities in them.
Additional Favorite Tracks (in no particular order):
I Walk on Your Water (AC Origins)
Bro, the first time I heard this when AC Origins came out and I was playing the soundtrack while I cooked, hearing this song was like a religious experience. And when the scene where Layla first experiences Aya's memories and says the line herself -- breathless, exalted -- was like the Second Coming.
2. Fight Club (AC III)
RATOHNHAKÉ:TON MY BELOVED. Yo, when I tell you I was in love with this game and its music and main character YEARS before I even touched ACIII, I am not fucking kidding. I listened to this shit on repeat. It pumps me up like nothing else. It motivates me at work, when I'm writing, and when I'm training. This song is the shit. AND FUCK YEAH I LINKED YOU TO THE EXTENDED VERSION WHAT OF IT. It's high-energy and determined and FUN. It's like a really nice round of sparring where you beat the shit out of your opponent but you're both happy about it.
3. Committee of One (AC Unity)
Yo, when I started stalking the King of Thieves and this beat dropped, I knew this was gonna be a good fucking game. I felt the thrill and danger, but I also felt unstoppable. I was fully immersed in Arno strolling into the den of the rats, not to mention how the Unity version of Ezio's Family starts playing once you've killed the King and escape. I ran into Templar thugs on the street on purpose just to hear this while they chased me. That abyssal heartbeat (AC Unity soundtrack has a living, breathing pulse) that falls into the familiar strains of that violin, followed by that harpsichord? Chef's fucking kiss.
4. Legend of the Eagle Bearer (AC Odyssey)
You can feel the waves under your oars! You can hear the sun rise over the horizon as the water changes colors! You can hear the relentless drive of your rowers as dawn breaks and the early-morning silence slowly dwindles down. And when you break into a full flight, it feels like you've gone wild, on the chase.
5. City of Rome (AC Brotherhood)
Oldie but goodie. It's so calm and inviting, but promises you adventure. You really feel like you've stepped into a city that's already ancient, but has so much to offer.
Honorable Mention: Master Assassin from AC Brotherhood and Parting Glass, Anne Bonny in Black Flag version.
I am tagging @sprawca @especiallyhaytham @teecupangel @canonless5 @starpineninja but no pressure to do it! If I didn't tag you but you're also a trash Assassin's Creed aficionado, feel free to join in!
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everyone saying that M might be preparing C for his soulmate and all that, yeah probably but like you’ve said they could be together for years before they separated. Seeing how C has gone back to her countless of times and how many times they’ve broken up (times that we don’t even know about) it’s hard to see that C will let her go easily. I think cause it’s so public and he’s gone to the extent of getting engaged, I feel he’ll do anything to make it work so that he won’t get hate from the media. And cause they do seem to be trauma bonded together it’ll also be hard for them to let go of each other. At the premiere of “Life in pink” M said that they needed to break each other down and then build each other up again which honestly doesn’t sound healthy but could be another reason he’d stick with her for a long times, he’s known to think that pain is normal and good (he’s said in many songs that pain is a part of love so I’m guessing to him all this toxicity seems normal). And M has even shown that she does rituals and spells so who knows what kind of blood binding magic spells she has on him so that he won’t leave.
Can I just say that M saying that they have to break each other down to build back up again is the most toxic thing I've ever heard. And I don't know if she truly believes that rhetoric or she is knowingly pushing this agenda.
To break someone down is to keep chipping away at them until there is literally nothing left. That means you are cracking them open to reveal everything that makes them up, like a scientist does DNA. You are purposely pushing their limits to see their triggers and habits just for the sole purpose of knowing them completely. Finding out who someone is and breaking them down are two completely different things, and I think it's hogwash that she believes that in order to get to a good place in their relationship they have to break each other down. I am truly surprised no therapist has come out against that belief once it was said in the documentary.
C is currently in a relationship where he is a puppet and m is the show runner. In other words, he is a pushover while she is the one in control. He is highly dependent on m and there are moments where you can see their dynamic at work.
For example, in c's interview with Lavern cox at the Grammys, m is standing to the side like a proud mom. To a lot of people it came off as cute, but it kind of looked like this to me
He didn't seem confident in himself like all the other interviews I've seen him do before this relationship. It felt rehearsed like he was trying to believe what she told him prior. He said he was cool with the idea of not winning but I'm not so sure I believe that when he's constantly instructing everyone to run up numbers for all of his projects. You either don't care about winning or you do, there is no in between, and I think every fan or EST member can see that he cares about the success of his projects. He's a musician after all and awards are their badge of honor, it's natural for him to want to win.
Now, before y'all come at me, there is always someone who runs the relationship, I don't care how perfect you think a couple is, someone always has more power than the other. There are some couples who alternate that power, but there are those who don't, and c and m haven't since they got together. You can always see that she wears the pants because she is more confident, aware, healed, and has more experience with long term commitments. C on the other hand is more fragile, insecure, anxious and a list of other things that most of us already know. A dynamic like that makes it easy for him to return every.single.time because she is not holding him to a standard that he must come to her healed. She takes him in his brokenness and inserts herself as the healer
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Oh Lord there's more. It will never end, I guess. Well, we can have some fun tho.
So, first of all, WHY, JUST why they call Hank and Connor's relationships a father and son relationships? Can someone name me at least one scene in which Hank behaves not like a cop doing his job, but like a father? Because... caring about Connor doesn't mean seeing him as a son. ALL good partners care about each other, this is basically what cops do. And Hank having a son in the past isn't even a proof.
And these people really need to look for the definition of the "pedophilia" word. It took me like 5 seconds
Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children.
Does Connor look like a child? And even if an older man in his 50's is dating a guy much younger it is NOT A CRIME IF BOTH OF THEM ARE ADULTS AND IT IS CONSENSUAL.
And yes, even if such people say they are a part of Lgbt+ they still can be homophobic. Because... how can you be LGBT+ supportive if you basically say that people Hank's age cannot date people Connor's age. If you say older people cannot be loved or desired (by younger people included)? Or it is only because we talk about Hank and Connor who do not have father son relationships in the game? It is basically a headcanon.
Well, it just means there are a lot of stupid people around. Because people outside the fandom, on the contrary, felt that a romance between Hank and Connor was possible .
Them telling me THEIR HEADCANON looks like a joke to me.
And like... I LOVE father and son/child relationships, and the perfect example of it is The God of War and The Last of Us games. Hank and Connor are nothing like that.
Oh, and look, this person brought a friend to tell me more about how wrong I am.
I didn't know that shipping two adult characters is suddenly a fetish. Because then you can say that about the entire fandom, any fandom, given that a large part of the fandom is shippers.
And it's so funny when they say that you can't ship father and son (in some fandoms people do, and nobody feels bad about it)… because I've already said a hundred times that there is no such thing in the game, this is as headcanon as a romantic relationship. Because in the game, Hank and Connor are either good partners, or those who hate each other and are ready to kill each other.
It's also funny to accuse me of daring to respond to an opinion I didn't ask for while my tik tok and instagram channel literally scream "This is Hank and Connor's zone as lovers! They fuck!". And I don't understand why hankcon shippers have to be the ones who have to hide in the darkest and farthest corners of the fandom, while, again, our ship has enough proof to exist.
This is probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
And, excuse me, is there any criteria by which we must determine whether the characters fit together?
Personally, I think that Hank and Connor are perfect as a couple. Why does anyone think they have the right to tell me that this is wrong? Why is the opinion of those who think hankcon is good suddenly worse than the opinion of those who think the other way? And who exactly should decide whether the characters fit together or not?
Really...
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4, 7, 11, 12, 16 & 19?
4 - what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?
not a specific person, but there have been so many times, specifically in the erased and aib fandoms (which is why i don't post there much anymore), where i've posted about ships and someone WITHOUT FAIL would respond "okay but my ship is better <3" (COUGH COUGH YASHI//SATO) and i don't engage in shipping discourse but those people just get under my skin. so i block all of them :) not sorry.
7 - what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?
oh boy, okay. anyone who has followed me for a while probably knows that i don't like misa amane in the animanga. she's uncannily similar to one of my abusers and personally makes me uncomfortable but that's not why i hate her. i can separate my experiences from fiction. however, people who say misa did nothing wrong PISS ME OFF. they'll defend everything she does but when light does the same thing they talk about how horrible he is. anyways there are cool misa stans but a lot of them are just horrible.
11 - number of fandom-related words you've filtered
too many. 25 as of now. including but not limited to pine//cest, kpopx//reader, and all ship discourse tags possible.
12 - the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
you guys need to stop hating on mikami. i've heard the argument that he's boring, creepy, or just not a good character. YOU'RE WRONG. YOU FOOLS. think about him for more than two seconds. a prosecutor with extreme religious trauma who faced heavy mistreatment as a child who was chosen by a literal "god on earth" to exercise his own form of justice before eventually deciding that he cannot place in faith in one sole god and his faith has been shaken. HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT HIM YET? anyways i love mikami <3
16 - you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
listen. anyone who erases the morally grey aspects of lawlight is MISSING THE POINT OF LAWLIGHT. "boo hoo i miss my innocent little light i hate kira raaah" WRONG. BAD. THAT'S NOT L THAT'S FUCKING W. i love fluff but at least make the characters recognizable.
19 - you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…
tagging @darklight-owl because you asked this as well. anyways there are so many things i could say here but in order to keep this brief, i will just say that i'm a passionate terraito shipper. i'm a slut for monsterfucker light. it took me a solid 2 years to warm up to them but now that i have, i can't escape. i hate how much i ship them. it's like my crackship from hell. but still, monsterfucker light.
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