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libraryofloveletters · 3 years

Note

buck x fem reader work together / secretly dating but they act like they hate each other and the team doesn’t know. reader is also bobby’s daughter (or niece up to you) and scared of his reaction (prompts 17, 37, 42, 81)

Unconventional

Evan Buckley x Reader

Prompts: #17: “We shouldn’t be doing this”, #37: “Uh why is your shirt inside out?”, #42: “I love you”, #81: “I can explain”

Warnings: fem!reader, worrying, vulgar/suggestive comments (kinda but not really ?), suggested sexual content, a few swear words, kissing, mentions of hospitals, surgery and injuries.

Category: fluff with a lil angst

Word Count: 4.4k

Author's Note: I wrote it as bobby’s niece, it just made more sense :) hope you liked it!!

----

Evan Buckley was a pain in your ass.

He had been since the day you met him. His annoyingly attractive face, his stupid pretty blue eyes and his smile, not to mention how sweet he was. You couldn't help but hate him. Not in the typical “I hate your guts and hope you fall down a flight of stairs” way but in the “god you’re gorgeous and I want to marry you” way.

Did you plan on liking the ridiculously attractive firefighter ? Most definitely not.

Were you also planning on dating him in secret ? Also a no.

Hence why you were sitting in his jeep on a Saturday at 3 in the morning. The two of you had gone on a date to this little restaurant outside of the city but everything that could go wrong kind of did go wrong.

Buck’s shift was supposed to end at 6 but they got a call last minute so he didn’t get home until 7:30. You called to push the reservation back and when he did pick you up, you got stuck in traffic. By the time the two of you got to the restaurant, it was 8:30 and the woman said she called to see if the two of you still needed the reservation but there was no answer (she didn’t call but neither of you were in the mood to argue) - Now it's 9 pm and the two of you still haven't had dinner. Venturing down the block, there was nowhere that seemed appealing. The night really began at some random mom and pop dinner you spotted by the beach. Deciding to have your own little dinner date on the beach, it was now 9:30. Buck had a blanket in the trunk (you didn’t ask why nor did you really wanna know) and you sat on the beach and had dinner. Time flew by, it was around 1 when the two of you began wondering what time it was.

The date was now prolonged by Buck’s craving for something sweet so once again, the two of you were on a hunt but for somewhere to go. He googled the closest ice cream parlour but most places were closed, he searched until he finally found a place that was 20 minutes away. It was totally worth the drive considering it was some of the best ice cream you've had in your life. Which now brought you to 2:20 in the morning, the two of you were still sitting on the hood on his jeep, a container of half eaten ice cream between you.

Buck looked over at you, a smile on his face. “Did you have fun ? despite, you know, all the shit that went wrong ?” you chuckled, “I did.” Buck had a shift at 11 so it was time for the night to come to an end. One of his hands held yours and the other on the wheel, you were staring out the window as the breeze blew by.

“Something on your mind babe?” Buck asked you, glancing over at you as you turned towards him.

“We shouldn’t be doing this” you mumbled, you didn’t want to end things with him but that didn’t mean that you didn’t have doubts about where this relationship was going. “What do you mean ?” he asks, his eyes on the road. “I mean how long are we going to hide this from everyone ?” your eyes back out the window, Buck sighed and the conversation dropped. There were a few minutes of silence and the tension filled the car, Buck finally spoke up “you were the one that didn’t want to say anything.” his voice came off a bit harsher than you expected, letting go of his hand, your body shifted towards the door and way from him. He noticed your change in emotion and seating.

“Babe, I'm sorry. It's just that you didn’t want to say anything and it’s entirely your choice. I get it but we can figure it out. One step at a time, okay ?” Buck looks over at you when he pulls into the parking lot. “Yeah, I know. It’s fine.” leaning over the console to press a kiss to his cheek. “Good night Buck, thank you for tonight” you give him a smile and get out of the jeep. Buck follows you, “let me walk you up,” he grabs your wrist, the two of you stopped in the middle of the parking lot. “That’s fine, I'll text you so you know I’m okay. You need to get home anyways, you have a shift and you need your sleep” shaking your head, you pull your hand away from him and head inside before he can ask again.

He was right, it was your choice not to say anything but you weren't sure how your uncle would react. This relationship wouldn't just affect your relationship with him but also his relationship with Buck. You didn’t- couldn't let Buck jeopardize his work life for his love life.

Shutting the door once you get into your apartment, you send a text to your boyfriend.

To Lover Boy Buck: I’m home, text me when you get home. Sleep well <3

From Lover Boy Buck: Just pulled in, goodnight babe

----

Athena’s birthday was on Saturday and Bobby had planned a surprise party for her. With a little help from May, things were in place.

Bobby had taken Athena out for lunch at some fancy cafe that was impossible to get into and then to see a play. While they were out, you headed over to their place to help May set up. Upon arriving, you saw that Hen was already there as was Buck.

“Good afternoon my loves!” you shout as you walk over to the kitchen. “I come with coffee” you hand a cup to May and the other to Hen, the two are thankful for the coffee as you had a shit ton of decorating to do and only a few hours to get it done. Buck leant against the wall by the kitchen entryway, “where's mine?” he asked which made you roll your eyes. “Didn’t know that you were gonna be here, no one invited you anyways.” you reply, sorting through the packages of balloons on the table, you toss one and it hits him square in the face.

“Ow!” he shouts, rubbing his cheek.

“Oh did I hurt you ?” you ask, pouting at him mockingly.

Considering the weird note that the two of you left on during your last date, plus not being able to see each other that week left things in a bit of a mess.

May and Hen exchange glances, “Buck, how about you help put up the banner in the backyard ?” she practically dragged Buck by the arm and into the yard. May was in the kitchen icing some cupcakes that she and Harry had made the night before when she called for you.

“Why don't you get along with Buck ? I don't know him all the well but he seems like a good guy” May pleads his case unintentionally.

He is a good guy

“Ever meet someone and you just don’t like them ?” you ask, she hums. “That’s me with Buck” is what came out instead.

“I get it.” she nodded, she began telling you about a guy in her chemistry class that just got on her nerves all the time. You excused yourself when the doorbell rang. Chim and Maddie had arrived right as Karen pulled into the driveway with Denny and Nia. You let everyone in and they began helping too. About an hour later, Eddie arrives with Chris and the cake. You take the cake from him so he can help Chris with his jacket.

“Buck!” you shout

“Yeah ba- yeah ?” he corrects himself last second. Your eyes widen at the word that almost slipped out of his mouth. No one seem to catch it except for Chim who gave you a weird look but you just brush it off.

“Take this, I need to change.” you hand the cake off to him and head to the bathroom to change into your dress. A few moments later, there was a knock on the bathroom door and then it opened.

“Hey! I'm chang- oh it’s just you” you mumble as he shuts the door. Buck’s back pressed up against the door. “Are you just gonna watch me or are you going to help me?” you turn, your back towards him now. Pulling your hair over your shoulder, you feel one of Buck’s hands on your waist and then the tug of the zipper.

“Must you always fight with me, y/n ?” he presses a kiss to your shoulder, his arms wrapping around your waist. “Must you always get on my nerves, Evan ?” you were looking back at him in the mirror, he flashed you a smile and nodded, a rather amused look on his face. “Yeah, it's kind of my job to irritate you” his arms loosen as you turn around to face him now, leaning back against the counter. “Well I guess then I have to fight with you” running your hand through his hair, he leans into you, his forehead against yours.

“You know, they say make love, not war” he whispers, his lips almost touching yours. A little chuckle slips past your lips, “is this your way of saying that we should stop fighting ?” you mumble as you press a kiss to his lips. Buck pulls you closer to him - which you didn’t even think was possible, “no, it’s my way of saying we should make love” he smiles against your lips as he lifts you up onto the counter and you let out an obnoxiously loud laugh. “Oops” a hand comes up to cover your mouth. Buck can't help but smile, you were adorable and all he wanted was to go out there and tell everyone that he’s in love with you, something he hadn't even told you yet, but at last, he could not.

“You’re cheesy, you know that right ?” looking up at him whilst you fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “If you want to fuck me, just say so” he tells you to which you reply “you're so vulgar Evan” while rolling your eyes.

“Oh I'll show you vulgar” he chuckles and pulls off his shirt, his hand reaching behind you to unzip your dress.

Buck left the bathroom first, the house had filled up within the 20 minutes the two of you were in the bathroom. He ran his hand through his hair in hopes to fix it from the tugging that just happened. As he stepped out into the backyard, his sister’s voice called out to him.

“Buck!” she walked over, “you’ve been so busy I haven't gotten a chance to say hi yet” she pulls her brother into a hug. Maddie’s face screws into a confused look. “Did you try a new body wash or something ?” she looks up at Buck, his brows furrow but he shakes his head. “Why?” he asks, “you smell like mint” she informs him.

You step out into the backyard, a tube of mint chapstick between your fingers, being applied to your lips. Buck’s eyes were on you, watching as the tube rubbed across your lips, his mind back to those lips were moments ago. Chimney’s voice caused him to pull his eyes away from you and onto him.

“Uh why is your shirt inside out?” Chim asks him, brows raised. Buck looks down and his shirt is on inside out, “uh, I- uh I had to change.” he says, hoping they’d believe him.

“You had that shirt on when we got here.” Chim had a puzzled look on his face.

“Oh Christopher is calling for me, excuse me” Buck walks off before they could say anything. He did indeed make his way over to Eddie and Chris, you were on the other side of the backyard when your phone chimed.

From Lover Boy Buck: Couldn't you have told me my shirt was on inside out?

To Lover Boy Buck: And how was I supposed to know that ? I didn’t have time to look at you

From Lover Boy Buck: Oh really ? You had plenty of time a few minutes ago

To Lover Boy Buck: Behave.

From Lover Boy Buck: Make me.

You roll your eyes at his comment, May coming out and shouting that they just pulled in. Everyone stood by the backdoors, waiting for Athena and Bobby to come in.

Athena had a blindfold on as Bobby led her down the stairs to the backyard. “I swear if you did somethin-” he undoes the blindfold mid sentence.

“Surprise!!” everyone shouts, Athena had a huge smile on her face. She turns to Bobby, “you did all this ?” he smiles but shakes his head, “I had some help” nodding towards May, Athena walked over to her daughter to give her a hug. Bobby and Athena went around to say hello to everyone, Bobby coming over to you and Eddie, Buck and Chris were sitting beside each other. “Hey” Bobby smiled at the two of you, “hey” you smiled back before you gave him a hug.

“What do I own you for today ?” he asks you

“Nothing at all, I'm glad I could help.”

“Are you sure kid ?”

“Yeah, I'm good. I’ll let you know if I need something uncle Bobby”

He smiles and goes off to talk to Chim and Maddie. Eddie switches places with Buck, Christopher showing his father the trick that Buck just showed him. “You’re good with kids” you tell him, “yeah, I know” he replies. “You're also an arrogant asshole but perspective I suppose.” Buck chuckled at your comment, watching as you walked away.

It was a while before you sat down for dinner, you were in the house with Bobby, helping him bring stuff out while everyone got seated. When you returned, there were two seats left. One at the head of the table, which was where your uncle was currently headed, leaving you no choice but to sit beside Buck. “Pass me the green bowl ?” he asks you, “no thanks” you reply nonchalantly. Bobby gives you a look, “y/n, pass him the bowl” you sighed and handed the bowl to Buck who was snickering. It took all of you not to smack this man in front of everyone.

A hand on your upper thigh startled you, you coughed and Eddie looked at you from across the table, his brows furrowed. Your hand comes down to rest on top of Buck’s. Chris followed his father’s look over to you, “are you okay y/n?” he asked you sweetly, you smiled at him. “I’m okay buddy, thank you for asking” Buck bit the inside of his cheek, holding back a smile. Oh how he wanted to kiss you right now, but again, he couldn't really do that, could he? He settled for holding your hand under the table like teenagers for now.

----

8 o'clock and you were supposed to be there 20 minutes ago. Bobby was probably there wondering where you were. You were supposed to be having dinner with your uncle tonight to tell him about you and Buck. Buck offered to tell him but you felt like it was only right for you to tell him.

You dialled the number but it rang out. You assumed he was still driving or maybe he was ruining late too. The phone rang while you searched for something to wear. It was Bobby.

“Hey!” you answer, “I'm gonna be a little late”

“Y/n, we’re gonna have to take a rain check on dinner.” Something was wrong, you could tell from the way he answered.

“Everything okay ? Are you still at work ?”

“I’m at the hospital.”

“What? Why? Are you okay ? Is it Athena ?”

“Athena and I are fine. It’s Buck, he’s in surgery right now. I don't think I'll be leaving anything soon. I’m sorry about dinner.”

Your heart dropped when he said it was Buck.

“Did anyone tell Maddie ? Do you want me to pick her up ?”

“It's alright, Chim went and got her. You don't have to come, we’re ok-”

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes”

Grabbing the keys, you’ve never run down the stairs so fast in your life. The whole drive over, it felt like the world was moving in slow motion. He’d still be in surgery when you arrived but you needed to know what happened.

I love you Evan Buckley.

The 5 words replaying in your head over and over again. The 5 words you hadn’t gotten the chance to say to him. The team plus Maddie and Athena were in the waiting room. Bobby came over and gave you a hug, “is he okay ? Did you guys hear anything ?” you ask as you sit beside Maddie. “Not yet” Bobby returns to his seat.

“Mads, I'm sorry” you gave her a hug, she gave you a small smile. “It’s okay. Buck’ll pull through. He always does.”

3 hours later and still nothing, he had been in surgery 2 hours prior to you arriving, bringing it to a total of 5 hours. Athena and Bobby left for a few minutes to see if they could get an update on him. You looked around the room, Eddie was leant against the wall, his legs on the chairs in front of him, Hen stood by the window on the phone with who you assumed was Karen. Chim’s arm was wrapped around Maddie, her head resting on his shoulder.

Bobby and Athena returned telling everyone that there was no update other than he was still in surgery. Your leg bounced as you waited, Bobby rested a hand on your knee when he sat back down.

“You okay kid ?”

“Mhm hm why ?”

“You only bounce your leg when you’re nervous. You’re sure you’re okay ?”

“Yeah, I'm gonna go get some coffee” you announce as you get up. If you spent another minute in that room, you were going to combust, you couldn't take it. “Does anyone want anything ?” there were a few mumbles of no but Eddie gets up and says he’ll come with you. The two of you walk down the hallway to the other end. Slipping a bill into the machine, it buzzes and then nothing. Eddie watches as you push the button a few times. Frustrated and tired, your hand smacks against the machine. A few nurses glare in your direction.

“Hey, go get some air okay ? I’ll get the coffee and meet you outside” Eddie’s hand on your back, leading you to the doors.

“Eddie, I'm fine”

“Y/n, go. You’ve been in here for a while and honestly, I could use the air too.”

Not in the mood to protest, you step outside. It was a little past 11 now, it was dark and cold out. Your back pressed up against the brick wall, the coldness seeping through your shirt. A hand running over your face in an attempt to wake you up, you sigh as the door opens.

“Here” Eddie handed you a mug that didn’t look like it came from a machine. The mug read “#1 nurse” on it and his says “world’s best mom” your brows furrow, looking at the man standing beside you. “I sweet talked one of the nurses, it's fine. I promised to return the mugs when we're done.” he says casually, making you smile. You had always enjoyed Eddie’s company, he didn’t ask questions or poke around in your life, he just lived in the moment.

“Cute shirt” he chuckles, looking down at the blue t-shirt you had on. You hadn't realized that you left wearing it. “Oh thanks” you mumble, taking a sip of coffee. “It’s Buck’s, isn't it?” he asks, you almost choked on the coffee.

“Wha- why would you ask me that ?”

“It reeks of his cologne,” Eddie chucked. “I’ve known for months, y/n. The two of you aren't as slick as you think.”

“Who else knows ?”

“No one that I know of, Chim has an idea but he hasn't said anything”

You hummed, looking out at the parking lot in front of you. “Does Bobby know ?” Eddie’s eyes practically burn into your side.

“I was going to tell him tonight.”

Eddie’s phone buzzed before he could say anything else. “Let’s go in, the doctors are out.” Eddie followed you into the building and back into the waiting room. The doctor has just stepped in, she glanced back at you and Eddie, “Are you here for Buckley as well ?”

“Yeah, how is he?” Eddie asks, the two of you step further into the room. “He’s stable as of now, we managed to stop the bleeding. He’s asleep but he’s got a long road ahead of him.” the doctor inform everyone, you watch as Maddie lets out a sigh, her hand squeezing Chim’s. “I can take someone in, if they’d like to go in” Chim let go of Maddie’s hand as she went to follow the doctor down the hall. Eddie could sense the change in body language, you were relaxed until Maddie stepped out with the doctor. His hand rests on your back again, “let’s sit down. You can go in after” he whispered to you. To anyone else in the room, it would look like something was happening between you and Eddie but he was just comforting you. There was nothing happening.

The person you were in love with was laying in a hospital bed at the other end of the hallway.

One by one, everyone went in to see him. Chim went in first, meeting Maddie in his room. When they return, they let everyone know he’s awake. Bobby and Athena are next, they go in for a few minutes. Hen was after them, you could hear them laughing from the other end of the hallway.

It was so good to hear him laugh.

You and Eddie went in last. Eddie sat beside his bed on the chair, he and Buck having a conversation. Eddie looked over at you, you were standing by the door. “I think I'll go call Chris and let him know you’re alright” Eddie pats Buck’s shoulder before stepping out the room.

Buck’s attention was now on you. “hey you” he mumbles, trying to shift into a sitting position. “Don’t move, you’ll rip your stitches.” you take a seat where Eddie was a few moments ago. Buck’s hand reaches for yours, although he was awake, his hand felt cold. Your hand rubbed against his, his eyes on you. Neither of you say anything to the other.

“I thought I lost you for a minute there.”

“You’ll never lose me, y/n” Buck’s hand squeezes yours.

“But I almost did and I hated every minute of it.” the tears welling up by your eyes, you blink a few times to get rid of them but instead a few slip down. Buck reaches up to wipe your tears, his hand cupping your cheek.

“All of this for me ?” he teases, “there was no need to worry, you know that, right?”

“You scared me you ass, don't do that” you sniffle, your hand wrapping around his wrist.

“Y/n, I need to tell you something” his eyes were on yours, now you were worried again. “Okay, what is-”

“I love you” he blurts out.

“Oh Buck” you breathe, the soft expression on his face changes to a worried one. “Oh god, I'm sor-” your hand comes up and covers his mouth.

“I love you too” you smile at him, you can feel him smile against your hand. Moving your hand to his cheek, “you do ?” he asks, you nod. “How can I not ?” Leaning out of the chair, your lips meet his. Your hand is still cupping his face and his hand lifting off the bed to meet your waist. Shifting from the chair to the bed, you sat beside Buck, your lips still on his.

“Excuse me?” someone clears their throat, Buck pulls away to look at who's by the door. Bobby stood in the doorway, his arms folded in front of him and a rather amused Athena beside him. Buck’s eyes widen, you look over your shoulder to see your uncle standing there.

“I can explain. Bobby I-” Buck starts, but Bobby cuts him off. “It’s okay Buck, I know.” he steps into the room.

“You do?” the two of you say at the same time, both of you looking at him. Bobby nods, “I might be old - well older than you two but I’m not dumb” he chuckles, “if anything, you two are the dumb ones for thinking I wouldn't know.” he says

“I was going to tell you at dinner”

“I figured as much, I also figured you’d want to be here when Buck woke up”

“Thank you for calling” you smile at him, he gives you a nod. “Everyone is heading home, are you going to stay with him ?”

You hum, your attention back on Buck. You could hear Athena and Bobby whispering in the back and then the door shuts. Buck shifts slightly on the bed, making space for you. Laying on your side, beside him, your finger traces over the words tattooed on his forearm. The world had come to a pause finally, the things around you didn’t matter right now. Everything you cared about was beside you, the hospital wasn't the ideal place but all you cared about that he was okay.

“Tell me again” you whisper, your head on his shoulder. Buck turns his head to look at you.

“I love you y/n l/n”

“I love you Evan Buckley”

Turns out you did get to say those 5 words after all.

---

Taglist: @reiidsbby @ssa-volturi @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover @venusrosepetal @mikaelson-emma @beth-winchester21 @averyhotchner

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tripleaxeldiaz · 3 years

Text

nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy

read on ao3

Eddie’s fine. Really. He’s got a fresh scar on his right shoulder, a twin to his other one, and a couple more medical bills to pay off, but other than that, everything is good.

Why shouldn’t it be? Things could be worse — he could’ve lost his arm, could’ve been shot in the spine instead, could’ve not survived the trip to the hospital. But he did — he’s healed, he’s still breathing, and he’s ready to get back to work on Monday, to stop staring at the inside of his house and get back to the life he’d finally started to feel settled in. There’s a twinge in his chest every time he thinks about actually being back out in the field, but it’s just nerves, a small worry at getting back into the swing of things. He knows the team and how well they work together, so he’s sure one rope rescue with Buck is all it’ll take to feel normal again.

He’s fine. Or almost fine. Really, he is. He doesn’t let the tremble in his hands or the ice in his gut tell him otherwise.

~~~~~~~~~~

It doesn’t really register, the first time it happens. There’s a glint of light in his periphery, and for a second, his arms go numb. It’s just a second, though — he sees the flash again, sunlight shining off an axe Ravi is packing onto the truck, and he moves on, doesn’t think about it again.

The next time, the wind whips by his ear a little too fast after a call at the pier, and he turns around so quickly he cracks his neck, the thought of bulletbulletbullet ricocheting in his head. It gets him a concerned look from Bobby and reminds him that he never called that therapist his doctor mentioned at his last visit, but he elects to deal with it later and moves on.

Things keep happening, but they’re all small, insignificant — someone laughing too loudly at dinner, the feel of hot asphalt under his hands as he reaches under the ambulance for a runaway bandage roll, a phantom jolt of pain in his shoulder when someone accidentally jostles him running to the truck.

Tiny things, meaningless, not even worth remembering.

He’ll get used to them, eventually. He’s been healing, isolated from the real world for months now, it’s going to be a bit of a shock to his system and his senses.

He doesn’t call the therapist.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buck’s happy. Genuinely happy, in an open, honest way that Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever seen. His laughs are still loud but they’re freer, unrestrained, and his smile is bright enough to light whatever room he’s in. It makes something sing in Eddie’s chest, especially when all that wattage gets directed at him. If he’s honest, the music’s been there for a while, it just took lying in his own blood, reaching toward the only thing that felt like safety, for him to finally put a name on the song that’s been playing.

Talk about shitty timing.

Because Buck’s with Taylor now, and as much as he still doesn’t care for her, she’s helping with Buck’s new attitude too. He sees the soft smiles that linger after a text from her, and he only gives himself a minute to wish it were for him instead before reminding himself how much of a miracle those smiles are at all.

If he had watched Buck get shot, been splattered with his blood, been soaked with it as he tried to stop it from leaking out of his chest, he’s not sure he would’ve had any kind of happiness to spare.

So he adds this feeling, this particularly green beast twisting in his chest, to the list of things that he’s just going to have to get used to, and moves on. Buck is still in his and Chris’ life, still at their house more than his own, still the center of both of their worlds, and that’s enough.

It has to be.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Wow, Eddie, you look like shit.”

He glares at Chimney as best he can, but he’s too tired for it to hold any heat. “Good morning to you too, Chim.”

Hen sits next to him at the table where he’s nursing his second mug of coffee of the day, downing the first one before driving Chris to school. She presses the back of her hand to his forehead, and he tries not to melt into the touch too much.

“You don’t feel warm,” she says, “but you look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”

He shrugs, staring down at his coffee. “Just haven’t been sleeping well.”

That may be an understatement. Not sleeping well implies sleeping at all, which Eddie’s not sure he’s been able to do in the past few days. It was easy enough when he first got home, still on pain meds that made his eyelids constantly heavy. And when Chris crawled into his bed the night after his sling came off, quiet but sniffling and burrowing into his side, it was a relief to gather him up close, a hand stroking through his hair as they both drifted off, clinging to each other. It was good for both of them, necessary to remind them both that Eddie is still here, but Chris went to his own room on Monday night instead of Eddie’s, and Eddie refused to take that choice away from him.

So he’s been alone, in a too dark room with a too big bed and a too loud brain that only shows him flashes of light and blood and fear whenever he does try to close his eyes.

Just another thing he has to get used to.

He sees Chim and Hen exchange a look and hopes to God they don’t press it. He’s beyond frayed, his state of exhaustion warring with his almost constant state of hypervigilance, and he’s not sure if he’d snap or cry or both if they try to ask him any more questions. Either way, that’s not how he wants them or anyone else to see him, especially not at work. At work, he’s Mr. Cool, always level headed, always in the game, always on top of it. Despite the jumpiness, despite the sense of dread that seems to be a permanent fixture under his skin, he’s been able to keep that attitude going, even getting lost in it sometimes, feeling like the Eddie of four months ago again. If that starts to unravel, who knows what other parts of him will fall apart with it?

Luckily, they seem to get the hint, a pat on the back and a squeeze on the shoulder as they leave the loft to restock the ambulance. But even once they’re gone and he’s alone in the quiet of the loft again, Eddie feels exposed. Fragile. Vulnerable. Teetering on the edge of an abyss he can’t afford to fall into. And he hates it, because this isn’t him. He’s the protector, the provider, the guy who’s survived getting shot twice now, and as much as he encourages Chris to be open and emotional, it still feels wrong to him, like something too close to failure. He knows, rationally, that talking about the mess in his head would probably help, but it would also feel like a loss. Like this one-sided war he’s been fighting was all for nothing.

He hears Buck before he sees him, his unmistakable bounding up the stairs echoing through the whole loft. Just that sound, just the knowledge that Buck is about to be in his vicinity, is enough to yank Eddie back from the edge. He’s not settled or calm or better, but he’s not worse. These days, that’s all he can really ask for.

Buck takes Hen’s vacant seat, stealing a sip of coffee and chattering about a traveling art exhibit he thinks they should take Chris to. Eddie feels the vice on his ribs loosen, letting Buck’s voice and enthusiasm wash over him, pushing him back to center. He doesn’t quite make it, not when Buck stops talking mid-sentence, brow furrowed and looking so intensely at Eddie he can probably see right through him

“You look tired,” Buck says.

Tired isn’t a strong enough word. But he smirks half heartedly instead, willing a little bit of his confidence back to get the subject changed sooner. “And here I thought I looked good today.”

“No, you always—“ Buck clears his throat and shakes his head, “You just look like you could use a nap. Are you okay?”

And for the first time since he woke up in the hospital with a new hole in his body and extra demons in his head, Eddie doesn’t want to say he’s fine. In the face of earnest blue eyes and worry lines, he doesn’t want to lie, and that’s exactly what an I’m fine would be, no matter how much he’s been trying to ignore it. He doesn’t want to downplay and pretend that it’s nothing, because it’s Buck. Buck who has seen him lower than he’s ever let anyone see, who slept on his couch so he was never too far away from him or Chris, who knows when Eddie needs to be pulled or pushed or pressed or none of the above.

He doesn’t want to just say he’s fine, because he’s not.

The courage to say so finally fills him, just in time for Buck’s phone to light up, Taylor’s name flashing across the screen on two messages. Buck doesn’t even glance at his phone before flipping it face down and pushing it to the side, but it’s too late — Eddie feels his walls going back up, any bravery leaving to make room for the reminder that Buck is in a good place and Eddie will do anything to keep him there. He’ll take another bullet, he’ll keep every emotion under lock and key, he’ll carve his own damn heart out of his chest if he has to. He cannot — will not — be the reason that smile that’s become so natural on Buck’s face dims by even a watt.

The crease in between Buck’s brow has only gotten deeper the longer Eddie hasn’t answered, so he musters up the most genuine smile he can. “I’m okay, Buck. I promise.” The lie cuts through his throat like broken glass.

Buck squints at him, scooting forward until his knees are digging into Eddie’s thigh. “You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?”

“Of course,” he says, another lie, more salt in the wounds he’s already given himself. Buck’s quiet for a few long moments, studying Eddie’s face, and Eddie prays that he doesn’t crack, that Buck doesn’t keep pressing. By some miracle, he doesn’t, just rests a hand on Eddie’s knee and squeezes before heading to the pantry for a snack.

The vice is back as soon as he’s out of sight, and Eddie’s list of things he has to learn to live with is starting to feel a little too long.

~~~~~~~~~~

Healing isn’t linear. It’s something he’s heard from every doctor he’s seen, every therapist he’s been assigned to, something he’s experienced first hand, physically and emotionally. So when he wakes up one morning feeling rested, energetic, and normal, he’s wary. He doesn’t want to focus on it, afraid he’ll scare this fragile feeling away, but he also wants to soak in it as much as he can. Wants to remember the easy laughs with the team and the night of board games with Chris and Buck when he’s inevitably surrounded by darkness again tomorrow.

He falls asleep and he doesn’t dream and he wakes up and feels...normal. Again. Same thing the morning after, and the morning after that. For a whole week, he doesn’t wake up with the taste of blood in his mouth or a soreness in his shoulder. He hears birds and sees the sun peaking in and feels something dangerously close to good. The wariness is still there, but every day it gets pushed a little farther back in his mind, making it a little easier to believe that while this feeling might not last, maybe it won’t be as dark when the clouds roll back in.

He’s wrong.

The restlessness comes back with a vengeance — a thrumming in his blood that won’t let him sleep, that amplifies every sound to sharp snaps that remind him too much of the gunfire he’s been trying to forget, putting him constantly on edge again. There’s a heaviness too, making it hard to breathe, hard to move, even though staying in one place for too long feels like putting a target on his back for the monsters that have made a home in his head.

He tries to keep his cool, tries to keep the facade up, but it’s hard to keep your balance on a frayed tightrope.

Bobby notices the shift right away.

It doesn’t help that even the quiet thump of the oven closing makes Eddie flinch where he’s sitting at the kitchen counter. He had hoped that watching Bobby make breakfast would calm him, remind him of the countless hours he’s spent in Abuela’s kitchen doing the very same thing, but it doesn’t. He’s still jittery, worse than he can remember being, and everything just feels like too much.

Bobby sets a to-go container down in front of him, and Eddie flinches (and curses himself) again. He looks up, confused, and is met with Bobby’s I’m about to tell you to do something and you are not allowed to say no look. Usually it’s Buck on the receiving end of that one.

He tries for a deflection. “Are we going somewhere, Cap?”

The look stays in place. “We are not. You are. There’s enough in there for you and Chris, take it home and don’t let me see you here for the next 48 hours.”

“There’s still three hours left of shift.”

Bobby pushes the container closer. “Go home, Diaz. Be with your kid. We’ll talk when you get back. And if you won’t talk to me, we’ll find someone you will talk to.”

Normally, he’d fight back. Raise his hackles, insist he doesn’t need any special treatment or intervention. But he feels like his insides have been scooped out and replaced with lead and cement and he’s tired. He barely has enough left in him to keep himself upright.

He slowly picks up the container and gets up to leave. Bobby calls his name as he gets to the top of the stairs.

“We’re here for you,” he says. “You’ve been through too much to be handling this on your own. Just let us know how we can help.”

I would if I could, but I don’t even know where to start.

He just nods, hopes his face looks some degree of reassuring, and heads to the locker room.

~~~~~~~~~~

The way Chris’ face lights up when he sees Eddie waiting for him in the front office is enough to thaw the ice in his chest for a minute. He can hear the exact octave his mother’s voice would reach if she heard about him pulling Chris out of school for “no good reason”, but he also could not give less of a shit.

He feels a little bit more like a person with Chris in the backseat. That’s a good enough reason for him.

They set up camp in the park near their house, Bobby’s food and extra snacks Eddie picked up spread out between them, and Chris fills Eddie in on all the things he missed while he was working. He tries to focus on everything — Chris’ excitement about his upcoming science fair, the Sour Patch Watermelon sugar stuck to the tip of his nose, the way his hands move with his words. Eddie feels better, more settled, just getting to bask in the sun and in Chris like this, but he still feels heavy, like every move he makes has him fighting against gravity, threatening to pull him into the dirt.

There’s a crack from the playground in front of them, and Eddie’s blood turns to ice. He’s halfway to standing before he sees it’s just some kids snapping sticks in half to build some kind of log cabin. He lets out a slow breath as he sits back down and wills his heartbeat back to normal.

Chris is staring at him, eyes intense and brow furrowed, very similar to someone else they know.

Shit.

As soon as he’s settled, Chris moves to sit in the criss-cross of his legs. He’s a little too on the lanky side for this anymore, but Eddie’s absolutely not going to complain. Chris twists until he’s looking Eddie in the eye. Eddie does his best not to look away.

Chris rests a hand on his cheek. “It’s okay if you’re feeling bad,” he says. “You can talk to me about it, if you want.”

The crack comes from Eddie’s own heart this time. His kid has been through so much in 10 short years, and it’s only made him wiser than he should be, compassionate and understanding and open, ready to be there for anyone without a second thought. He’s good in every sense of the word, and Eddie’s in awe of the fact that he, somehow, has something to do with that. And the last thing he wants to do is lie to his son, but he just...can’t. Talk about it. Not now. Not yet. Not in a way that will keep Chris this good.

He has no way of articulating all that, so he just wraps his arms around Chris’ middle and squeezes him close.

“I know, buddy. Thank you. I’ll be okay, and we’ll talk soon.”

It’s not a lie, but it’s not everything.

It seems to be enough for Chris, though. He nods and pats Eddie’s face before reaching into his backpack and pulling out a library book. “Well, I’m gonna read to you until you feel better, just like you do for me.”

It’s the first real smile Eddie’s cracked in months. He kisses the top of Chris’ head, settling his chin there as Chris leans back into his chest.

“Sounds like a good plan to me.”

They sit there for a while longer, Chris reads to him about Percy and Annabeth and Grover, and Eddie, inexplicably, feels a little bit lighter.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buck’s Jeep is parked outside when they get home, and Chris practically breaks down the door to greet him. It looks like he’s gone all out, too — Chinese food on the table, the promise of cookies and cream ice cream in the fridge, and a list of movies that Chris ecstatically agrees with as Buck lists them off. Chris hurries off to change and clean up for dinner, and Eddie moves to start opening plastic lids and cardboard containers.

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” he says. He leaves out just having you with us is enough.

Buck waves him off. “Anything for you two.”

He could leave it at that, keep up the comfortable silence as they move around the kitchen in tandem, but there’s a nagging memory that he has to ask about or he’ll never stop thinking about it.

“Didn’t you have a date with Taylor tonight?”

Buck tenses ever so slightly, a container of dumplings shifting in his hand. “Cancelled,” he says with a shrug.

Eddie knows there’s more, but Chris comes back before he can ask, and it doesn’t feel like a conversation they can have in front of a 10 year old. So they eat, and fall into the familiar banter between the three of them, and for half an hour, Eddie can be present. He can forget the last six months and the weight still hanging off of him and live in this moment, with the two most important people in his life, and pretend that this is all there is. Just these two and their joy and warmth that wraps around him tight enough to make him feel alive again, if only for a little while.

Two bowls of ice cream and one and a half movies later, Chris is dead to the world. Buck carries him to bed and Eddie tries to ignore the new ache that’s sprung up of the course of the evening, the one that wants and pulls towards Buck like a magnet. The one that almost purrs when Buck settles back on the couch so close they’re touching from ankle to (good) shoulder, contentedness washing over the living room as they find a rerun of The Shawshank Redemption playing on cable. It’s not perfect, there’s still a roiling in his blood that won’t seem to leave him alone, but he feels better than he has in God knows when.

Buck shifts closer to Eddie, eyes glowing in the light of the TV, and Eddie never wants him to leave. “Thanks for coming tonight. I— Chris and I both really needed this, I think.”

“I told you, anything for you two. Always.”

He ignores the way his stomach flips and tries to focus on the movie. He gets about five minutes of peace before another thought comes back, still nagging him, mixing with his anxiety enough to actually force him to say something.

He aims for cool and casual. “So, you and Taylor...everything okay?”

Buck gives him a very long, almost challenging look before turning off the TV. Seems he missed that casual mark. “I should be asking you the same thing.” “Very funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. I’m really worried about you, Eds.”

“This isn’t my first time getting shot, I know how to handle it.” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as bitter as it does, but he can’t bring himself to care, either. He doesn’t have the energy to keep a filter up anymore.

“Eddie, I’m serious.”

“I’m fine, Buck,” he says sharply, and he’s surprised his teeth haven’t fallen out of his head yet with how hard he’s lying through them. He hates that he’s lying to Buck at all, but those smiles he’s gotten used to have been fewer and farther between recently, and he knows it’s his fault. He might feel like his own seams are coming apart, but he’ll be damned if he rips Buck open too, even if it means pushing him away from his mess. “You’ve got a life and a girlfriend to worry about, I’ll figure everything out on my own.”

“I don’t.”

“What?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend. We broke up.”

Eddie pauses, curses the faint hope that sparks in his chest. “Why?”

“Because I’ve been a little distracted by someone else for the past few months. It didn’t feel fair to her to keep it going.”

He gives him another long look, and Eddie might be a little dense when it comes to things like this, but that look breaks through loud and clear. This is it. This is real. This is everything he’s wanted for the past six months — and probably longer than that — but now that it’s happening, it doesn’t feel right. Buck was happy, free, finally settled into his own skin, and it’s all gone now because of Eddie and his stupid, broken everything. He knows he won’t be able to give Buck everything he needs, at least right now, but Buck needs to know that too. “Buck—”

“Nope,” he says with a firm shake of his head. “I know you’re gonna try and blame yourself for this somehow, but…don’t. It was bound to happen anyway. Because you’re right, I do have a life, but it’s you two. You and Chris. That’s all I need it to be. That’s all I want it to be. And I hate that it took so long for me to figure out, that it took you getting shot, but we’re here now.” His eyes shutter a bit as he looks down at his hands. “At least, I hope we are.”

And there it is. So simple, so easy, for Buck to admit this huge thing that Eddie thought he was dancing around on his own. The ease reminds Eddie, through his fog of sadness and anger and every other bleak feeling that’s been controlling him, that that’s what makes them work so well together. Honesty. Being able to show all their ugly, mismatched inside parts to each other and still find the beauty, the ways to help, the ways to hold each other together when they need it the most.

And Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever needed to be held together more than he does right now.

“Ask me,” he whispers, the sound seeming to echo around the room.

“Ask you what?”

“Ask me if I’m okay.”

Buck shuffles on the couch until they’re facing each other, takes both of Eddie’s hands in his.

“Eddie,” he says softly, “are you okay?”

The world blurs as the tears he’s been fighting finally break free, but he feels strong. Brave. Like he can do anything now that Buck’s holding his hand.

“No,” he says, a crack in his voice but the conviction behind it still firm. “No, I’m not okay.”

The floodgates open, and he lets everything wash over him, all the things he’s been holding back, forcing away in the hopes that they’d just disappear one day. He’s floating and sinking and lost in the waves of it all, but strong arms wrap around him and pull him close, and there’s relief. Not a lot, not enough, but it’s there, for the first time since he woke up in the hospital. He feels safe here, with Buck wiping away his tears and pressing kisses along his hairline. He honestly forgot what safety felt like, was sure he’d never feel anything like it again. But he knew it that day he was bleeding out on the street, and he knows it now — it feels like Buck’s sweatshirt and smells like his aftershave and sounds like whispers of it’s okay and I’ve got you.

It all subsides, eventually, but Buck still holds him close, presses their foreheads together so there’s nothing else Eddie can focus on. His eyes are piercing, bright like Eddie only usually sees when Buck has a plan that refuses to be derailed.

“Let me help, Eddie,” he says, punctuated with a kiss on Eddie’s cheek. “I know you think you can do this yourself, but you don’t have to. I don’t want you to. Let me help you carry it.”

His voice left with the rush of everything, so all Eddie can do is nod before sinking back into Buck, into relief. Even that simple motion, the silent acknowledgement that he’s not alone anymore, is enough to let small seeds of hope sink into him and take root. They’re still weak, still unfamiliar, but they’re here, waiting to grow.

And Eddie knows, with a certainty that he forgot he was capable of, that Buck will be here to help tend to them, no matter how long it takes for them to blossom.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Eddie wakes up the next morning, he still feels weighed down. There’s still an edge, an unease low in his gut, anxiety still crawling through his veins.

He’s not okay. But he looks over and sees Buck — breathing even, arm thrown over Eddie’s stomach, keeping him close — and the ever-present darkness fades from an angry black to melancholy grey. Not perfect, not even close, but better.

He’s not okay. He hasn’t been for a while. But now, finally, he feels like he will be.

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #911 fox #buddie fic #911 fic #tim i know you read fanfic you can HAVE this one so we can get a recovery arc #i don't even need credit just DO IT #ficcery

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datleggy · 3 years

Note

Buddie prompt: aggressively pro-buddie Helena and Ramon Diaz, who are ecstatic when Eddie tells them he's dating, and then utterly befuddled when he introduces Ana. But they decide to bite their tongues about it (Buck, their future son in law, has talked to them about respecting Eddie's decisions, however dumb, after all), until Ana (unwittingly? Innocently? No matter) makes a comment about Buck, and then all bets are off.

Hope this inspires you!

Helena is so relieved that Eddie finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them, that she could cry. She feels awful that it took her so long to realize it.

It had been on Eddie’s last visit to Texas, when he and his crew had been fighting wildfires, that Ramon--her dense as can be when it comes to matters of the heart husband of all people--had noticed that their son was in love.

Helena still remembers saying goodbye to her son and his two teammates, remembers Ramon closing the door, waiting exactly all of five seconds before turning to her and saying, “I’m happy for him. He’s so stubborn, I didn’t know if he’d ever let himself get that close to someone again.”

And Helena had been confused at first, and then even chuckled when Ramon had explained calmly that clearly their son was dating his coworker Buck, until she’d stopped to really give it a moment’s thought. It had hit her all at once, how obvious those two were, and she couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since they’d started dating and why Eddie hadn’t said anything yet.

She’s seen the photos on Instagram, Helena thinks, as their plane lands. Buck smiling next to her grandbaby after helping her son build him a skateboard he could safely ride in the park. Buck standing shoulder to shoulder with Eddie behind Tia and Christopher in that Christmas photo at the station. The selfie Eddie posted of him and Buck with the giant cast still on his leg the day of the ceremony for when he was no longer a probationary firefighter with the 118.

Really, she should’ve figured it out months ago.

When Eddie had called and told her he’d started dating again and that the next time they came to visit he’d make an introduction Helena had been thrilled!

Ramon drives them from the airport to their son’s place in their rental and Helena rambles on about how she hopes Buck isn’t too nervous to see them again, now that the cat’s out of the bag.

When they arrive Eddie greets them at the door with a big hug and ushers his parents inside and Helena is so ready to step into the living room and welcome Buck into the family with open arms, to show her son that there was nothing to be afraid of, that they love him and nothing in the world would change that--

Only to be met with....not Buck?

“Oh,” Helena stops dead in her tracks and Ramon stands beside her looking about as confused as she feels. “Hello.” she smiles politely enough.

The woman sitting next to Christopher on the couch stands up and she’s absolutely stunning, her curls bouncing on her shoulders when she stands up to exchange hello’s. “It’s so nice to meet you both. My name is Ana.”

The rest of the afternoon goes by just fine, but Eddie can tell something is amiss the entire time, though he does a good job of hiding it from Ana, who’s her usual charming self through out lunch.

She has to take a work call at some point and excuses herself to another room and that’s when Eddie turns to his parents and half-whispers. “Ok, I know those looks. What’s wrong?”

Helena shakes her head, feigning ignorance. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Eddie sighs, rolling his eyes. “Seriously, what is it? Ana is perfect. She’s incredibly smart, she’s funny, she’s got a great job, good head on her shoulders, and Christopher loves her--so again, I ask, what’s wrong?”

Ramon follows his wife’s lead. “Mijo, really, it’s nothing. She’s great. We’re happy for you. I think we’re just a little tired from the flight, that’s all.”

Eddie narrows his eyes slightly but decides there isn’t much sleuthing that can be done at the moment, so all he can do is take them at their word for now. “Fine, if you say so.”

They’re in the middle of watching Nemo when Buck's name comes up.

"When the tsunami happened Buck and I sang 'just keep swimming' like Dory." Christopher grins up at his dad and Eddie ruffles the curls on his head playfully. It helps Christopher to be able to openly talk about what he went through that day, the good and the bad.

"You never told me Buck was there that day." Ana comments off handedly.

Eddie nods, "Huh, I thought I mentioned it? Buck took him to the pier that morning."

"It was scary but Buck saved me." Christopher tells his grandma, who reaches across the couch to squeeze his arm. Helena had been horrified to hear what had happened at the time; it still gives her anxiety just thinking about it.

"That's right." She says softly.

"I thought some woman you didn't know carried him to one of the tents, and that's how you two were reunited, no?" Ana asks.

"Yeah, but before that, during the initial impact Buck was with Christopher, he managed to get him up to this firetruck in the middle of everything. It was after he dove back into the water to save someone that a second wave came and swept Christopher right off and they got separated from there." Eddie recalls solemnly.

There had been blood running down the dirty wet bandage on his arm, he'd been soaked to the bone, exhausted and barely standing upright. It wasn't until Christopher had been found that Buck had allowed himself to collapse.

"Oh..." Ana frowns.

Ramon puts a hand over his heart and sighs. "It's a miracle, really."

Ana doesn't mean to say it outloud, but the words comes tumbling out of her mouth without warning. "And you're still friends with him?"

Eddie blinks. "What?"

"I'm sorry, really, it's just--I don't understand." Ana rubs her shoulder self consciously, fully aware of the fact that everyone is looking at her. "Look, Edmundo, you nearly bit my head off when Christopher got a skinned knee under my watch but you're still best friends with the man who lost your son for God only knows how long? It doesn't make any sense to me."

Ana knows how overprotective Eddie is of his son, and in fact, that's one of the reasons she likes him so much; she admires that about him and this? It doesn't track with the man she knows.

Helena wants to open her mouth and she say something in defense of Buck--he's a good man, after all. But she knows better than to get between a couple in an argument, especially given how bias she is towards her future son in law...

Instead, she clears her throat and looks at Christopher, "Honey, how about you help me and Grandpa unpack? I bought a lot of fun things from Texas for you."

Christopher doesn't want to go. His Dad looks upset. Ana looks upset. He wants to stay and help. If Ana met Buck she would understand, Christopher's sure of it. But his grandparents are already leading him down the hall and to the guest room.

Christopher hangs out with his grandparents for a few minutes before fibbing and telling them he needs to use the bathroom. They both offer to help him but he insists that he can do it himself, promising to call out if he needs them.

He sneaks the home phone into the bathroom with him and dials a number he knows by heart at this point. He waits a couple of rings before the call connects.

"Hey, what's up?" Buck's voice comes through the other end. He sounds distracted.

"Bucky? Can you come get me?" He whispers into the phone.

He hears a small commotion and then a stifled 'ow!' and then: "Chris? Are you ok? You're home, right? What's wrong? Where's Eddie?"

"I'm home. I'm ok. But--" there's a knock on the door and it startles Christopher into accidentally hanging up the phone before he can explain the situation in it's entirety.

"It was a tsunami." Eddie sighs, "It wouldn't be fair to hold something like that over his head. And look, you weren't there. You didn't see the look on his face, you don't know how many hours he spent crying out Christopher's name at the top of his lungs, injured and looking nonstop through the rubble for him--"

"Yeah, which he wouldn't have had to do if he hadn't lost him in the first place. It sounds like he was too busy playing hero for strangers to watch your son." Ana folds her arms across her chest. "I don't want to fight. Especially not with your parents here. Honestly, I'm just confused? We don't have to talk about this right now. I can go. I just want to apologize to your parents and Christopher first, before I leave, for," she sighs, embarrassed, "well, for causing a scene. This is not the way I'd pictured meeting your parents."

"You know, if you just met Buck I really think you would--"

A cacophony of knocks at the door make the both of them jump. Ana looks at Eddie. "Were you expecting anyone else?"

"Christopher!? Christopher I'm here, open up!"

Eddie gapes. "...Buck?"

"Did you...call him over?" Ana didn't even see him reach for his phone.

"What? No, of course not." Eddie starts towards the door--the knocking has gotten so boisterous he's pretty sure Buck's about to break down his door--but Ana beats him to it.

At this point Eddie's parents and Christopher are in the hallway wondering what all that racket is.

Ana lets the door swing open, and if she's being entirely honest she's not sure what she's planning on saying to the man who's essentially at the center of her first real argument with her boyfriend, but whatever it was, it goes up in smoke when she takes in the sight of him.

Buck is taller than she'd pictured but that's not what's got her speechless.

He's standing at the doorway, chest heaving, clearly having rushed out of his house, where he was very obviously in the middle of shaving, if the shaving cream still smeared on a third of his face is any indication. He's in sweatpants and a white undershirt that's got little drops of blood on the front from where he must have cut himself while shaving. There's a bright red cut running down the underside of his chin.

"Um." Ana can't do much except stare, wide eyed.

Buck blinks at her, "Uh...Ana?" He suddenly realizes all the people in the house behind her are looking at him in a kind of stupor.

She nods slowly. "Buck?"

Buck nods sheepishly, "Uh... So, I am clearly interrupting something here."

"You came!" Christopher moves past all of the adults in the corridor and throws himself at Buck's legs.

Buck lifts the kid up easily enough, crutches and all, "Yeah, about that," he gently pinches his cheek, eliciting a giggle out of Christopher, "What was that phone call all about? You nearly gave me a heart attack, bud."

Eddie groans. "Christopher, did you call Buck to come all the way over here in the middle of the day?" He walks over and uses the cuff of his shirt sleeve to wipe away the rest of the shaving cream on the side of Buck's face. The look on his face is fond as he does so. "What did this little menace say to get you over here in such a rush?"

Christopher pouts. "I just told him to come get me. I thought if Miss Ana met my Bucky she'd know how come you're still best friends." He grips at Buck's t shirt tightly. "You can't stop being friends, Dad. I love Buck. He's my friend too."

Buck frowns. "Umm..."

Eddie gives him an apologetic look. "Sorry, it's not--it's complicated. I promise to explain everything later. Right now isn't really a great time--"

Ana interrupts hesitantly. "Actually, now is probably good. I need to get home soon, it's getting pretty late, so I should get going." She turns to Helena and Ramon. "It was very nice to meet you both." She scoohches past Buck and Christopher and practically sprints to where she parked her car, aware of the fact that Eddie is calling out her name and only half a step behind her.

It's not until they're several blocks down the street that she swivels around and he nearly topples into her in his haste. "Ana, please, I don't want you to leave like this. I really didn't call him over." He reaches into his back pocket and shows her his phone. "See?"

Ana takes the phone and presses her lips together thinly. "He called you like twenty times on his way over."

Eddie frowns. His phone must have been on silent. It's no wonder Buck rushed over like he did. "He was just worried about Christopher--"

Ana sighs resignedly. "No, I know. It's obvious, how much your best friend cares about your son. I can see why he's still in your life. And I think I can also see why that means you don't really have any room for me in it..."

Eddie shakes his head. "What? Why would you say that?"

Ana looks him in the eye, intent as can be on reading him. Eddie had smiled so warmly, creating such an unintentionally intimate moment when all he'd done was swipe at the other mans face with his sleeve...

"You don't even know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"I think this is something you and Buck need to sort out yourselves. Goodbye Edmundo."

Eddie closes the door behind him as he steps inside, a little heartbroken and a lot confused.

There's noise coming from the kitchen and so Eddie follows it to the source. Ramon is telling Buck about how to sear the perfect steak by the stove while Helena and Christopher set the table.

"Is everything alright?" Helena asks, when she notices him by the entryway.

Eddie nods, lying when he says. "Yeah, all good Mom."

She gives him a knowing look but keeps her mouth shut. "Honey, take Buck here to your room, let him borrow one of your shirts. And maybe a razor?"

Buck chuckles shyly. "It's fine, really. I should probably get going too--"

Ramon shushes him. "Nonsense. Go, go, get changed and get your butt back into this kitchen. Scoot."

Eddie takes Buck by the shoulders and drags him to his room, where he finds a worn gray Henley for him. "Here."

Buck thanks him before stripping out of his white undershirt and throwing on the clean shirt.

Eddie plops himself down on his bed with a sigh. "Hey, I'm sorry about all this mess. And on your one day off, too."

Buck sits down beside him, bumping their shoulders together. "I don't really know what's going on but, are you doing ok?"

"I don't know," Eddie makes a face. "I think I got broken up with today."

Buck cringes. "Shit, I'm sorry, what happened?"

That's a good question. Eddie ponders that a moment. Ana had said it herself: she understood perfectly why Eddie didn't blame Buck for what happened during the tsunami and she had seen first hand how much Buck cares for Christopher for herself today.

So, why?

"She said that there wasn't any room for her in my life?" Eddie scratches the back of his head. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this dating stuff anymore."

"Aw, c'mon man," Buck pats him on the back. "You fall off the bike you gotta get right back on." He turns his body all the way around so that he's facing Eddie fully. "Dude, you're a catch. You're a handsome, badass firefighter, you've got the best kid, and hey--you got me." Buck grins toothily.

Eddie rolls his eyes, though he can't help but smile. "So what I'm hearing here is that I'm stuck with you?"

"Oh yeah, for sure." Buck laughs.

Eddie leans back on his arms and looks up at his best friend, pensive. "Promise?"

Buck extends his pinky and wiggles it in front of Eddie, who smiles as he wraps his pinky around Buck's. "Promise."

#long post is long #I'm gonna fix it and put a read more when my laptop stops fucking up 😩😩😩 sorry #911 fox #buddie

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fruitydiaz-archived · 3 years

Note

for the prompts: #70?

70 — “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

buddie fluff!

from this prompt list

“Do you think you’ll ever find love again?”

They’re in Buck’s kitchen, Chris sitting on the couch catching the end of their movie, while Buck and Eddie wash and dry their dishes, when Buck blurts the question out suddenly. Eddie pauses mid-wiping down a plate, and raises his eyebrow, turning slowly to give Buck an amused look.

“That’s a question,” He says after a moment. Buck flushes a little and rolls his eyes.

They’d been talking about a call they had this morning. It was one of those old married couples that always hit Buck right in the gut. He had sat to the side on the curb with the wife, while they carried her husband to the ambulance, and listened to her tell him their love story.

He didn’t even try to hide his tears as he climbed back into the truck with the rest of the team.

“I’m sure I will. I’m not interested in looking for it right now, though,” Eddie says, smiling over at Buck. “I’ve got everything I need right here, you know?”

Buck turns to look over at Christopher, smiling at the look of his face, transfixed on the movie.

“Yeah, I know,” Buck nods, turning off the sink and grabbing an extra towel to help Eddie dry.

“It just — don’t you get lonely sometimes? It’s been so long since I lived with somebody else. Sometimes I just think...it’d be nice to have someone to come home to.”

Buck’s starting to think maybe he shouldn’t have gone ahead and had that extra beer. He’s not sure what’s gotten him thinking like this. He and Taylor decided they were better as friends a long time ago — and since Eddie had broken up with Ana around the same time — they just filled the space for each other. He hasn’t really felt lonely in a while. He doesn’t really want someone else to be here...he wants Eddie to stay.

Eddie looks at him for a moment before he grabs the last plate from his hand and puts it away. He sighs and leans against the counter, reaching for his beer.

“You could always move in with me. Then you can come home to us,” Eddie says, like a joke. Except it’s not; he’s mentioned moving in to Buck at least a dozen times over the last couple of months, since they both got out of relationships and started spending almost every non-working moment in each other’s homes. Buck never seems to think he’s serious though.

“Right,” Buck chuckles, ducking his head. When he looks back up at Eddie, he’s a little shyer and quieter. It’s the look he gets when he starts to doubt himself, and it always makes Eddie want to reach out and shake some sense into him.

“It’s just different I guess. I want to come home to someone who loves me.”

That hits Eddie like a punch.

His body tenses up and he feels a wave of emotions building up in his chest. He’s hurt, for one, and angry.

“Buck,” He starts, running a hand over his face. He crosses his arms and sets his bottle back against the edge of the counter, glancing out the window. The city lights calm him a little bit.

“Why do you think I keep asking you to move in?” He asks eventually, his voice soft. Buck tilts his head to the side and shrugs.

“To save money?”

Eddie looks at him, unimpressed. It makes Buck shrink in on himself a bit.

“You don’t think it’s maybe because I want you there?” Buck blinks at him.

“Eddie…”

“No, listen to me, Buck. I don’t think — I don’t think you understand.”

Eddie looks down again and brings a hand up to his face, pressing his fingers into the bridge of his nose as he thinks. His head’s spinning a little bit — not drunk, just overwhelmed and dizzy — because of Buck. Because of all of these feelings he has about Buck that have been building up inside of him for years. Because it’s getting harder for him to pretend that he just wants to be friends with him.

These last months have been nice, the way they’ve slid perfectly into the empty spaces in each other’s lives. But any time they have a conversation like this, Eddie feels that fear spike up in him, the fear that he’s about to lose one of the best things that have ever happened to him. Sometimes he thinks he should just tell him, just rip the band-aid off and finally expose the softest, most vulnerable part of himself that he’s been guarding all these years. He knows Buck would never leave him — especially not over the fact that Eddie loves him. But things would change, they’d have to. And that’s the part that holds him back most of the time.

But tonight feels different. He knows Buck wants this as much as he does — he has to. But Buck will never be the one to make the first move, because he’s weighed down by his past: by the abandonment, the neglect, the fear that he’s too much for anyone to stick around for.

Eddie’s not sure how he doesn’t get it at this point.

“After everything we've gone through together, you still don’t think I love you?”

“I know you love me, Eddie—“

“No, Buck,” Eddie says again, and his voice is worn and exasperated. “No, you don’t. I love you. Christopher and I are here with you almost every night we have available. You keep the cereal we like stocked in your pantry just in case we’re here for breakfast. I keep those weird vegan protein bars you like. You have a drawer in my room with sweatpants and t-shirts and a spare uniform just in case. I broke up with Ana and haven’t even thought about another person in months because...I don’t want anyone else.”

Buck swallows hard.

“I don’t understand…”

“I’m in love with you, Evan.”

“...Eddie...”

“I mean it. And you don’t — you don’t have to say anything back or...or try to let me down gently, or whatever. I just...I need you to know. You always say you’re alone and that no one ever really wants you. I need you to know you’re wrong.”

Neither of them says anything for a moment, and Eddie busies himself with his beer, trying desperately not to let the panic take over him, trying desperately not to feel like he has to pack up his stuff and grab Christopher and get out of there immediately. He’ll give Buck space if he needs it, but only if he asks.

God, he hopes he doesn’t ask.

“I love you, too,” Buck says eventually, quietly. Eddie looks up at him. “I’ve just...I really like you, you know? This thing we have with each other. It’s special...and it’s different. And I’ve always known that, so I just...I never wanted to risk losing it. I’m so used to people I love leaving, Eddie.”

“I’m never leaving you,” Eddie says instantly, confidently. Buck stares at him wide-eyed, before the softest smile Eddie’s ever seen spreads on his face.

“I know.”

Eddie’s pretty sure that they should kiss, pretty sure that that’s the thing that they’re supposed to do next, but he can’t move. He’s fixed to his spot against the counter and Buck seems fixed to his spot in front of the sink, because all they can do is stare at each other, grinning like two fools in love — because that’s what they are, aren’t they?

Eventually, Christopher’s movie ends, and he calls out for Buck and Eddie.

“Dad, Buck, can we watch another one?” He calls, a hint of mischief in his voice. He knows he’s usually only allowed one movie and then he and Eddie have to head home after dinner. Buck grins.

“How about I pack a bag and we head back to yours and we can start another one there. Maybe I can even...stay a couple of days?”

“You moving in already?” Eddie teases and Buck rolls his eyes.

“Well, you’ve only been begging me to for months now.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. Go pack a bag and I’ll get Chris ready.”

Buck nods and then turns to run up the stairs to grab his bag — but he stops. He turns around and looks at Eddie, a small smile on his lips and a glint in his eyes, cheeks a little red.

“Um,” He mumbles, taking two large steps to close the gap between them and ducking to the side. He leans in quickly and presses a shy kiss to Eddie’s cheek and then steps away.

Eddie stares at him, a little stunned. He’s never known Buck to be shy with physical affection, especially not with someone he likes, but it’s endearing and sweet and breaking Eddie’s brain a little with the realization that they’re actually doing it. They’re crossing this line.

Buck spins around and disappears up the stairs into his loft before Eddie can say anything, leaving his mind speeding a thousand miles a second into the future, imagining all of their future kisses, their future dinners, Buck moving in officially, no longer having to travel 20 minutes to see each other, no longer spending the night alone in his bed wishing Buck was there with him, waking up to his face in the morning, kissing him goodnight.

Maybe they’ll even get married. Eddie would like that. He’s pretty sure Buck would too.

Not that he’s in any kind of rush.

He’s got everything he could ever want right here, right now.

#idk but i did it #thank you for sending me a prompt <3 #al talks #911 fox #buddie #writing #replies

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charming-charlie · 3 years

Text

Washed Away pt. 2

Title // Washed Away pt. 2

Pairing // Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings // Implied mentions of drowning, anxiety, and fear of dying.

Summary // Who knew hanging out with Buck and Christopher for a day would lead to a life or death situation?

Word Count // 1.7k

Prompt // Hi! Can i request a fic where you were with Buck & Christopher when the tsunami hit? They could be dating or crushing on each other. If nothing comes to mind, then it’s completely fine to ignore this request! Have a nice day!’

Author’s Note // This is Part 2 of the Washed Away series. || Part 1 || Part 3

Tagged List // @aprildecker-blog @coffeewithoutcaffeine @daddysfavoritesexkitten // Drop a note if you want to join the tagged list!

The enormous tidal wave was barreling to land. You could only watch in horror. Your legs refused to move. For a second, you thought for sure that the wave wasn’t going to hit you. It was an over exaggeration or something. It was one of those things that looked big from far way but small when it got close, right?

Unfortunately, you couldn’t be more wrong.

Buck grabbed Christopher and tossed the little boy over his shoulder, abandoning his crutches and the large brown bear he won at the water gun game. With his free hand, Buck grabbed yours and the two of you sprinted fast and hard down the wooden boardwalk.

Buck was yelling at other people to run, move out of the way, find shelter. Your voice refused to say anything. You couldn’t think of anything.

‘Incoming flood let’s go!” someone shouted. Was it Buck? Was it a police officer? You couldn’t make heads or tails of what was happening. Your hand gripped Buck’s tightly, refusing to let go for any reason as the two of you tried to seek out higher ground. Christopher was pulling the two of you behind, which wasn’t his fault, but you were running out of time.

Buck found an abandoned game in the center of the pier where people were running pass called Baseball Toss. It was essentially an open wooden box, reminding you of a small boxing ring. It had tall walls which might work for now. You couldn’t be sure.

Buck set Christopher inside the game behind the wall and turned back to the giant wave that was now blocking out the sun and inching closer to land by the second. He was leaning against you, his breath heavy and ragged, his eyes wide with fear and worry. You clung to him for your own safety, but also to let Buck know that you were there with him, and together you two will face whatever was coming.

The water broke through, crashing against the pier and exploding between buildings and windows, taking up whatever space it could find. Buck’s hand held yours even tighter as he turned to look at you.

“Get in!” he said quickly. He helped you over the wooden wall of Baseball Toss and you cowered down next to Christopher. Buck jumped in after you just as the water reached your little shelter, splashing and blasting over the three of you.

You closed your eyes and reached out to Buck, who accepted your hand within seconds. His other arm was blocking Christopher, trying to keep the boy as safe as possible. Despite the raging water above you, the world seemed quiet and still. You didn’t dare open your eyes for any reason and you refused to let go of Buck.

It didn’t work.

The water was powerful and was able to break through the wooden barrier, crashing into you, Buck, and Christopher. Buck’s hand disappeared from yours, and you were sloshed, rattled, tossed, and spun in every direction as the tsunami rolled in. You felt like an out of control ragdoll with only a few threads keeping you together. You scrambled and fought against the current, trying to reach the surface.

Was there a surface? Was there a break in the waves?

Your breath was knocked out as you were thrown about in the water and you struggled to breathe. Every time you tried, salty seawater was pulled in. You were drowning.

You swam somewhere. You couldn’t see under the rough current and the water moving fast but you were able to find something, what was it? A telephone pole? Whatever it was, it was tall enough to hang onto and climb. Using your last few precious breaths, you did just that.

You climbed and climbed until every single limb was begging for a break, aching with hot and sore muscles all over.

The water was rolling below you. You looked around in sheer panic, hoping to see someone, anyone, that was able to survive. Where was Buck? Actually wait… where was Christopher?

That sinking feeling of fear, anxiety, dread, horror, distress, and every other combination, pulled through you as you tried not to think the worst. Thankfully, it disappeared. You heard Buck shouting over the roaring waves, looking for Christopher. He must be nearby if you heard him.

You turned around and there he was, clinging to a string of lights.

“Chris! Just stay there, I’m coming!” Buck shouted hard.

You tried to call him, but he didn’t see you. His back was turned to you and he couldn’t hear you against the current. Buck let go of the string of lights and started traveling at a wildly insane speed further inland, and you mentally cursed yourself. You knew what you had to do but you didn’t want to do it.

You mustered up as much courage as you could find, which wasn’t much to begin with, and you jumped into the water. The current was strong and pulling you in different directions as you rode the wave behind Buck. Swimming hard, you saw Christopher clinging to a pole, much like you were. And Buck was on his way to him.

Come on, Buck.

And…

He missed.

The current was too strong and pulled Buck, who was reaching out for Christopher but the distance between them was growing.

“Stay there!” Buck said as he fought like hell to swim against the current, to fight and reach for the boy. It was no use. He found a good spot full of items floating on the water and he clung to something, you couldn’t tell what, just as Christopher slipped from the pole and disappeared under the water.

“Christopher!” you screamed with whatever you had left. Your throat burned and ached, your muscles begging for a break, but you didn’t stop.

Buck heard you. He was looking for Christopher in the water, but he glanced just a second to see if he could find you. Taking a deep breath, the ex-firefighter dove into the water, which was something you would not have done given the circumstances, and you swirled and paddled as close to the area as you can.

Buck emerged, out of breath, holding Christopher in his arms and hugging the boy tightly. You wanted to cry from relief and for some reason, the waves seemed calmer now. You weren’t struggling to swim so hard and so fast, and you took a break, letting the current guide you. You were following Buck and Christopher and you didn’t dare blink for fear of losing sight of them.

Buck found a firetruck in the water, mostly submerged. He tossed Christopher on the roof of the vehicle and turned his gaze to find you.

“Y/N!” he shouted. Relief flashed in his eyes.

He spotted you easily enough and held onto the firetruck with one hand while reaching out for yours. Learning the mistake, he made with Christopher earlier, he was able to adjust his angle and grab your hand, pulling you toward the truck. Your back smashed into the headlight and you gasped in pain, but it passed from all the adrenaline. You put a foot on the driver side window and climbed up onto the truck, with Buck following behind.

The two of you collapsed against the metal roof of the truck, gasping and heaving for breaths. The water was rushing around you but calmer. The biggest part of the wave was done and all that was left was the flood.

“Definitely not the first date I imagined,” you said in between breaths for air. You sat up slightly and winced in pain. There was going to be a bruise on your back from the headlight, but you couldn’t worry about that right now.

Buck turned to look at you and he let out a small laugh.

“I’m full of surprises,” he said, and you couldn’t help but grin.

Your body needed rest and you laid back down, your breath slowly catching itself. Buck was next to you, glancing over at Christopher to see if the boy was okay. He seemed to be and when Buck wasn’t worried about him anymore, he turned his head to face you.

Your hand slowly crept off to the side, getting closer to Buck’s. Your pinky brushed over the back of his hand, mimicking what he had done earlier on the bench, before all of this happened. You were expecting Buck to just link his pinky through yours, but he grabbed your hand. His fingers intertwined with yours and he held on with a squeeze.

You felt your heart flutter again, just like before. Remember when you were questioning if you had a crush on Evan Buckley or not? Turns out, you do.

He was looking at you with his beautiful, light eyes. He was smiling. If it weren’t for the natural disaster that was occurring around you, this would be a nice moment. But reality has a funny way of interjecting and Buck slowly sat up and crawled his way over to Christopher. His hand slipped out of yours and for a moment, you felt cold and empty. Damn you, Evan Buckley.

It was probably best to sit up anyway. Should something happen, you and Buck needed to be able to see around you and not above you. You sat too, ignoring the throbbing pain in your back.

“You good, Chris?” Buck asked the little boy.

“Yep. I took surfing lessons,” Christopher said with a laugh.

“Well, maybe you can teach me,” Buck said, and he looked over at you, “and maybe Nurse Y/N too.”

With a free hand, the ex-firefighter reached out to you and you grabbed it. He pulled you in and you sat next to him, your arm twisted around his and tangling your fingers with his own. Hello, muscles.

Wait, wait, wait, now is not the time for this, get it together Y/N.

Buck let out a sigh, probably from the relief that both you and Christopher were okay. Water still lapped around the firetruck, but it was nowhere near like earlier. It didn’t seem to be rising but it didn’t seem to be receding either.

For now, you were safe. And so were Christopher and Buck. That was all you could ask for. The worst was over.

Right?

#Buck #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley x you #buck x reader #buck x you #9-1-1 #9-1-1 on fox #sink or swim #christopher diaz #9-1-1 fic

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half-bakedboy · 3 years

Text

jumping to (the wrong) conclusion (read on ao3)

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz Rated: General Summary: “Buck, Eddie was trying to tell you he’s in love with you,” Taylor said, her voice more serious than he thought she’d be capable of with so much alcohol in her system.

“He— No— Wait, I— What?” Buck’s mind came up with rapid-fire responses because no part of him was truly ready to handle the fact that his best friend might feel the same for Buck as he had for the last two years.

Or Eddie realizes something about his best friend, Buck finds his courage and Taylor gets to witness it all.

A Season 4 Episode 11: First Responders Extended Scene (contains minor spoilers for the ep)

The adrenaline was still pumping through Eddie’s veins even after he had changed out of his sweat-soaked uniform and taken a longer than necessary shower at the station. His blood was thrumming under his skin and he was sure he would vibrate right out of his body if he had the ability. The gunshots still echoed in his ears, Bobby’s quick actions flashing across his mind, and before Eddie realized it, he was pulling up to Buck’s apartment building.

He should have figured that’s where he would end up. Chris was with Hen, Karen, and the kids for the night, and Eddie had planned to drink a few beers by his lonesome while watching the UFC fight he had missed a few days prior. He had set it up to be the perfect night in his head, but he realized that his night couldn’t be nearly perfect because Buck wouldn't be there. Buck was just… inevitable.

Before he could think about what that meant, he got out of the car and locked the door with his keyfob, knowing that Buck would recognize the familiar beep of his car. He was lucky enough as he walked in that one of Buck’s neighbors that Eddie knew to be a night nurse was just leaving for her shift.

“Eddie, stopping by again already?” Becky shouted with a wiggle of her eyebrows. He jogged up the steps and grabbed the door from her, picking up the water bottle she had dropped on the floor to help her out. While Becky was very sweet and often let Eddie in when Buck wasn’t awake yet, he didn’t really feel like sparking up a conversation when his mind was racing as it was.

“Yeah, is Buck around?” He asked, making sure to keep a safe distance between them.

“He is, I think he came back with—“

Before she could finish, Eddie interrupted, “Thanks so much. Have a good shift!”

He was pretty sure he sprinted up the steps, unsure of how his feet were moving so fast. His mind was still racing, over and over with only thoughts of Buck clouding his conscience. Buck, who had been his best friend for years and had saved Eddie - not to mention Christopher - more times than he could count. Buck, who was the only thing Eddie had thought about for the last few months like a stream of what if’s and what could be’s that spiraled around his mind. Buck, Buck…

“Buck?” He called as he pounded his fist against the door. It was overkill, he knew. Buck had never not answered the door for anyone if he was home because he was just too kind to ignore someone who may be in need. Eddie’s smile widened on his lips at even the mere thought of Buck and he ran his hands over his face in both frayed nerves and sheer excitement as he waited for Buck to answer.

When the door opened and Buck’s confused look turned into a wide smile, Eddie pushed himself past the entrance and turned on Buck before either of them spoke. He thought at first that he wouldn’t know what to say, but then his eyes met Buck’s and he couldn’t stop himself from once the words started.

“I almost got shot today. Again,” Eddie added with a laugh, and Buck’s face contorted into that deep concern he seemed to always have for everyone but himself. “I’m fine, we’re all fine, but Buck, I was caught in the crossfire of yet another person with an indescribable amount of evil in their heart and it was like I was back there, in Afghanistan with enemy fire coming at all sides. That adrenaline, that fear, that instinct to survive kicked on in full force.”

“Eddie, are you—“ Buck tried to speak, his arms reached out as if to inspect Eddie for injury, but Eddie stepped closer and grabbed his hands tightly instead.

“And all I could think about was you,” Eddie admitted, shaking his head in disbelief that he had actually said it. “I heard the first shot and I thought, ‘thank god Buck isn’t here so I can focus on the girl I’m here to save’ and at no point did I stop to question why that was. Then I was loading her into the ambulance, about to crawl outta my skin with— with thrill just vibrating through me and somehow I found myself here.”

“Maybe we should—“ Eddie barely noticed Buck suddenly tense and glance over his shoulder.

“I realized that I am always going to find myself here because you’re my person, you know? My partner that I trust in times of severe danger, my best friend that I want to be around when anything exciting happens to me, and Jesus, Buck, I want you—“

“If it isn’t the one man at Station 118 that can’t stand me.” The voice had Eddie’s bubbling blood freezing in his veins and if he had hackles, he was sure they’d be standing at attention. Eddie turned and saw none other than Taylor Kelly - Eddie refrained from calling her the reporter from Hell because he knew Buck hated it - making herself comfortable in the kitchen with a half-empty champagne glass in her grasp and a knowing smirk on her face.

“I didn’t realize you were coming by, Eddie, I—“ Buck began, but Eddie held up his hand. It was then that he noticed Taylor’s discarded shoes next to the kitchen island and the already empty bottle of champagne on the counter.

“No, I’m— I’m sorry for barging in like this. I’ve clearly interrupted…” Eddie trailed off, tearing his eyes away from Taylor to gaze back at Buck, “whatever this is so I’ll just head out.”

“Why don’t you join us, Firefighter Diaz? We’ve got extra champagne to celebrate our successes today and I’m definitely not one to turn away fine looking men on such a beautiful night,” Taylor commented and Eddie noticed the glare Buck shot at her. He also noticed the twinkle in Buck’s eyes and the way his lip tugged up at the corner like he couldn’t help but be amused by her.

“You two have— a night. Together. Without, uh, me,” Eddie said before he rushed out the door.

-------------------------------

The door slamming interrupted the giggles bursting from Taylor’s lips. Buck knew she was tipsy - they both were, in all fairness, - but the way she snorted and then laughed some more told him she was far beyond safe to drive home that night.

“Oh my god, that poor dude, he just— came in here guns a-blazing,” Taylor said and then laughed more, presumably at her own ridiculous joke. She took a deep breath and shook her head, staring up at a wide-eyed Buck. “Well, what the hell are you still doing in here, idiot?”

“What? Where else would I—?” Taylor grabbed the cork from the counter and threw it directly at Buck’s head. It bounced off his temple and hit the floor before Buck reflexes could catch up to him. “Damn, Kelly, you play softball at journalism school or something?”

“Yeah, it’s what gave me such a good gaydar,” she replied. Buck was unsure how that was relevant to the conversation and tilted his head at her, pursing his lips in questions. “Buck, Eddie was trying to tell you he’s in love with you,” Taylor said, her voice more serious than he thought she’d be capable of with so much alcohol in her system.

“You’re not stupid, Buck, and I know I tell you all the time that you are, but you know I don’t mean it,” Taylor said, walking over to Buck and resting a comforting hand on his bicep. “Eddie was just spouting poetry at you, dude. You heard what happened over at dispatch today. If Josh hadn’t been so on his game, there’s a solid chance that Eddie - the entire team - might have—“

“Oh my god, he—“ All of sudden, Eddie’s words caught up with him. All I could think about was you. You’re my person. Forever. The words flashed in Buck’s mind like lightning on a hot summer night and he wasn’t sure he was breathing anymore.

“He loves you,” Taylor reassured, nudging him toward the door. All it took was the familiar beep of Eddie’s car unlocking for Buck to surge into action.

He threw himself down the stairs at least two at a time and pushed the door open with a huff and a shout for Eddie; his partner, his best friend, the person he had been in love with since the very beginning. Eddie stopped but didn’t turn, and Buck could see the white-knuckled grip he had on the door handle even in the limited light.

Buck was never good at saying the right thing. He spoke without thinking more often than not which anyone that had ever had a conversation with Buck would attest to, but he knew that he couldn’t do that then. Whatever he chose to say at that very moment would make or break their relationship even further than it might have already been the moment Eddie laid his eyes on Taylor.

He had it all planned out before. He would ask Eddie out on a real date and when he inevitably thought they were getting dinner as friends, Buck would declare his intentions with a brave voice and hope with everything in him that Eddie felt the same. He straightened his spine, brought his shoulders back, and crossed his arms over his chest, but the voice that followed did nothing to match the strong stance.

“Athena arrested me today,” Buck noted, cursing himself at the ridiculous start. When Eddie didn’t turn around, Buck took a cautious step forward and rested a hand on his shoulder, grateful for the way his grip eased on the door. “I got into trouble that I shouldn’t have to try to do the right thing and it was probably reckless and stupid, but I did it as I’m sure you knew I would,” Buck laughed and shook his head as he admitted, “and the entire time I wished it was you beside me.”

He ignored the shout from Taylor who apparently didn’t like that comment.

“I didn’t know you were the one getting shot at, but if I did, I— I don’t think Athena could’ve kept me in that interview room,” Buck said, grateful when Eddie turned on him with wide eyes.

“Wait, Thena literally arrested you?” Eddie asked incredulously, but Buck saw the little bit of amusement in his eye anyway.

“I mean, nothing that’ll show up on record, cause you know I would’ve called you to bail me out,” Buck noted. Eddie laughed and looked down at the keys in his hands and Buck took the chance to move one step closer. “I didn’t know you were there, putting yourself in the line of fire, Eddie. The second I heard you say it, I couldn’t hear anything else because I was too worried that even though you were standing right in front of me, there was a chance you could not have been.”

“You didn’t… hear me?” Eddie asked, glancing up at Buck like his worst fear had come true. Buck was pretty sure the adrenaline rush Eddie had was washed away by seeing Taylor in his apartment and if that was Buck, he wouldn’t have the courage to say all that he admitted again. So Buck let himself take the reins.

“Do you wanna get dinner?” He asked, just as he had practiced so many times before.

“Do I want to…”

“God, Diaz, just say yes so that I can go pass out on Buck’s couch with the satisfaction of all the good I’ve done today,” Taylor yelled and Buck glared at her once again.

“Does saying yes to you mean I have to like her?” Eddie asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Buck huffed out a laugh and said, “She grows on you.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Eddie commented as he locked his car doors again and pushed past Buck as easily as he had a few minutes ago.

“Is that a yes, then?” Buck asked as he jogged to catch up, bumping his waist into Eddie’s as they reached the front door.

“Got any more champagne?” Eddie asked, avoiding Buck’s question. Taylor let out a snort as she followed them into Buck’s apartment.

“Oh, I like this one, Buck. He’s gonna be good for you,” Taylor said before throwing herself on the couch and leaving the two men in the kitchen.

“He already is,” Buck muttered, staring over at Eddie who had helped himself to a beer he had no doubt left in Buck’s fridge. “Except he still hasn’t answered my—“

“Yes, Buck. Dinner sounds great.” And it really, really did.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #buddie fic #coda fic #911 coda #911 on fox #911 spoilers #ish #its not that spoilery i dont think??#idk asldkjf;as #HOW THE SCENE SHOULD HAVE GONE IMO #my writing #hope you like it!

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futures-tense · 3 years

Text

We’ll Find Out What We’re Made Of

//~1.2k//tw: shooting mention, arson mention, spoilers for 4x13 of 911 and 2x12 of ls//

Buck needs to talk to someone. He wishes it could be Eddie. But, at the moment, his best friend is in surgery and all Buck can do is pace around his living room. Christopher isn’t home yet- he’s spending the day with Abuela and Pepa- leaving Buck at the mercy of the suffocating silence. He pulls out his phone and calls the first person who comes to mind, putting it on speaker and placing it on the coffee table.

“Buck, hey!” TK says. The excitement in his words are the exact opposite of what Buck’s feelings.

“Hey... Um, are-are you busy?”

“Lucky for you, Carlos is out and I’m on... a bit of a vacation. So no; what’s up?”

Buck lowers himself onto the couch. “Something... I just need a distraction.”

This time when TK speaks he seems a little further away which probably means he’s on speaker. “What happened?”

“Is someone else there?”

“Just me, Buck.”

Buck scrubs his hand over his eyes, lets out a breath. He doesn’t know why he’s telling TK this; they’ve only known each other a few months. But they’d talked almost every day since the wildfires and he trusted him- not as much as he trusted Eddie but close enough to-

“Eddie got shot.”

“What?”

“How’s Carlos?”

“He’s fine,” TK says vaguely. “Go back; Is Eddie okay? Are you okay?”

Buck tugs at a loose string of the hoodie Bobby had brought him at the hospital. He catches a glimpse of red caked at his cuticle and he thinks he might cry.

“Buck.”

“He’s... He’s in surgery. I dunno, I’m not family.”

“What about you?”

“I need a distraction,” he says matter of factly. “How are you? You moved into Carlos’s last month, right? How’s that been?”

“Good, good,” TK says, a little too quick but Buck looks past it. “Things have been...exciting.”

“Gross,” Buck teases and TK laughs.

“Not like that! Well, actually...”

“Anyway.”

Buck hears TK giggle softly. “You remember how I said that when we got Buttercup, he would only go after my stuff?”

“Mhm?”

“Yeah, he has a new victim.”

“Oh no.”

“Yup, he likes to chew on Carlos’s shoes now.” He sounds almost proud and Buck shakes his head.

“You must be so relieved,” he says sarcastically.

“It is cute to see my intimidating boyfriend pout about having to get rid of a shirt that was barely surviving anyway.” That makes Buck laugh and he instantly feels guilty. “I mean, we needed to buy him a bunch of new clothes anyway,” TK adds the last part under his breath, and Buck files it away to ask about later.

“Wait- so, your dad let you take Buttercup with you when you moved out?”

TK doesn’t say anything for a few moments and Buck almost has to make sure the call didn't fail.

“That’s- not exactly, no,” TK finally says.

Buck makes a face even though TK can’t see him. “Then how does Buttercup get Carlos’s stuff?”

“We are currently...living in my dad’s guest room...”

Buck freezes. “But you just- you moved into Carlos’s.”

“Yes, I did,” TK starts. “But then...it sort of...burned down...”

He lets that sink in just to make sure he heard that right. “Your house burned down.”

“Yes.”

“TK, you may be a paramedic now but you were also a firefighter,” he jokes. “You should know fire safety.”

“Okay, first of all,” TK says, a playful bitterness in his voice, “rude. Second, it...wasn’t exactly our fault.”

“What happened?”

TK doesn’t say anything for a while. Buck knows he still there though; he keeps hearing a soft sniff now and then.

“There, um... There was an arsonist- AFD’s arson investigator, actually. He... He got in somehow and-”

TK’s voice breaks and Buck sighs. “Everyone’s okay?”

TK lets out a watery, bitter laugh. “No, not remotely.” Buck hears him take a shaky breath. “Uh, everyone’s still pretty shaken up after the firehouse explosion-“

“Wait, what?”

“Oh yeah, the arsonist blew up the firehouse, too. And then everything with Carlos and me... Marjan’s been struggling too, but...”

“She’s Marjan?”

TK sighs. “It’s not fair. The stuff they’re saying. It’s- she was doing her job. There was nothing she could have done. And she’s not really talking to us about it. None of us know how to help.”

Buck thought of all the calls that hadn’t gone his way. “I get it. She just needed someone to blame.”

“I hate that it had to be Marjan.”

“Me too.”

“And Dad, he-“ TK scoffs. “God, Buck, everything is a mess; I’m not sure if I’m the best distraction right now.”

“Don’t worry about it, TK,” Buck says. “Sounds like I’m not the only one who needed to talk.”

“Yeah...” He sounds exhausted and Buck wishes he could do more.

“You’re still good with Mr. Perfect, right?”

TK lets out a laugh. “You’re still pining after Super Dad, right?”

Buck’s smile fades and TK curses on the other end, realizing his mistake without Buck’s help.

“Sorry, I-“

“It’s fine. You’re fine.”

They sit in silence for a while. “I think...” TK stops, evaluates, then starts again. “I think, you should tell him.”

“Remember what happened last time you told me that?”

TK thinks for a moment then gasps. “Oh my god, I forgot about her.”

Buck rolls his eyes. He pulls at that string again and the cuff of his sleeve tightens around his wrist.

“I haven’t told her. About Eddie.” Then something else hits him. “Oh my god...”

“What?”

“Chris...”

“He doesn’t know yet?” Buck covers his face and shakes his head. Almost like he can see him, TK makes a disapproving noise. “No, Buck, you have to tell him. That’s his dad, you need to tell him.”

“But does it have to be me?” Buck asks. “I don’t... I could- I could tell Ana and she could tell him.”

“Buck, he won’t want to hear it from her,” TK insists. “You know that; hell, I know that and I’ve never met either of them.”

Buck knew he was right but-

“I had to tell Eddie that I lost Chris in a tsunami.” TK doesn’t respond. “I stood there and I had to tell my best friend that his son was gone. I don’t... I don’t think I can do something like that again...”

“I know, Buck, I know, but-“ Buck hears a door open and TK mumbles something before continuing. “Buck, you have to tell him.”

“I will, I will,” he sighs. “I have to go pick him up soon anyway.”

“Hey, Buck?” He makes a face. That isn’t TK. “I’m so sorry but- can I steal TK?”

Buck smiles a little. “He’s your boyfriend, Carlos.”

“That is true,” Carlos says. “Babe, it’s the Vegas.”

There’s a weighted silence that Buck knows all too well.

“TK, I’m gonna go. Keep me updated.”

“Yeah, of course,” TK says, sounding distracted. “Just- Tell him. Both of them.”

Buck nods. “I know, I will.”

“Bye, Buck.”

TK is the first to hang up and Buck sits back against the couch, wondering how the fuck he’s going to explain all of this to Christopher.

#911 ls spoilers #911 spoilers #911 lone star #tk strand #911 on fox #my fics #911 crossover #evan buckley #✨trauma buddys✨#tarlos #carlos reyes #4x13 coda #?? yes???#sure why not #festival of tears

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buckleysjareau · 3 years

Text

wish i could keep you in amber, safe from the outside

Neither of them say anything as Eddie takes shelter in Buck’s arms, face tucked in the crook of his neck, sheltered from all the bad that’s happened. A safe place.

He can only hope that he’s Buck’s safe place, too.

In which Eddie and Buck are struggling after the shooting and they finally have a much needed talk.

Content warning - very non descriptive depictions of war, mentions of blood, suicide statistics and past suicidal thoughts!

(Read on AO3)

Incoming!

Break, break, break! We’re pinned down and we’re taking fire, two clicks north of our last reported position.

Prepare for—

Boom!

Norwahl, stand down! You gotta get out! What the hell is wrong with you? Norwahl!

Pain.

Major 6-4, what’s your ETA?

Dust off, 47. ETA six minutes.

We don’t have six minutes.

Diaz, keep low. Don’t stop.

Wake up!

Diaz! I’m black on ammo!

Go! Go! Go!

Diaz, he’s dead!

Diaz, you okay?

He’s screaming.

He’s out of ammo— he’s got no other moves left in him. The pain is excruciating.

Shannon. Christopher.

I’m sorry…

He clutches his Saint Christopher medal and he can’t stop the tears.

Pain.

Shannon.

To protect you, to keep you safe.

–

Eddie shoots up, arms flailing and screaming out something he’s not even sure is comprehensible. His heart is beating out of his chest, won’t stop, and he can’t seem to catch his breath.

Then his surroundings start to filter in and his eyes land on his son—wait, Christopher?!

“Chris?” He chokes out, the all consuming fear he couldn’t shake from the nightmare making words hard to speak. “What are you doing here? Are you okay?”

“Did you have a bad dream?” Christopher asks as he reaches forward to cup his face, wiping away a tear. Eddie almost breaks. He didn’t deserve this kid.

“Yeah, bud, I did.” He admits with a crack in his voice.

He’d had that nightmare almost nightly for three weeks after he’d woken up in a hospital bed, his shoulder hurting the way it had when he woke in Afghanistan—Buck by his side being the one thing that stopped him from thinking he was back there.

It’s been almost two months since that day, and Eddie kept telling himself—and everyone else— that he was fine. That he was talking about it, facing it so he could heal from it. Which wasn’t exactly a lie, he was talking about it with Frank. He just wasn’t exactly facing it as much as Frank is trying to get him to and—he wasn’t exactly fine.

His heart races whenever he’s outside, subconsciously scanning his surroundings for anything suspicious. He’s constantly alert to everything going on around him—sights, sounds, smells.

The nightmares started to happen less and less, though, and he could move his shoulder without wincing, the pain down to a dull ache. He was cleared to return to work by his doctors and by Frank. He was ready to go back.

Or so he thought, until their first call. They were called to a car wreck on Twelfth Street and he hadn’t realized just where that was until the truck pulled up. He’d felt Buck tense up next to him, Eddie’s own muscles tensing right after him.

Despite Bobby saying he could sit this call out, Eddie declined and pushed past the pounding in his heart, the tightness in his chest and the instinct to duck under the truck when a car backfired near them to do his job.

He managed to keep it together the rest of his shift. He kept it together on the car ride home, which he has Buck to thank for that. He kept it together through dinner with Carla, Christopher and Buck.

He kept it together until his head hit his pillow and he could finally break down a little. He’d perfected the silent tears a long time ago, when he was still under his parents’ roof and was taught that crying made him weak.

He cries until his heart is tired and his eyes flutter shut, no energy to fight the sleep that he knows won’t be peaceful.

That’s what leads to where he finds himself now, grasping to stay in touch with this reality as his son wipes away the tears in his eyes, soothing him.

“You’re going to be okay, dad.” He whispers and Eddie chokes out a laugh.

“When did you get so grown up?” He sniffles before opening his arms wide. “What do you say, you want to stay the night here with me? It’s been a while since you’ve slept in here.”

Which he’s grateful for because that means Christopher hasn’t been subjected to a nightmare in a long time. But the nights Christopher crawled into his bed after a nightmare didn’t just only help his kid.

Chris settles in next to him and rests his head on his shoulder, and for the first time in so long, Eddie feels calm. Peaceful.

He glances down at his son, who’s already asleep once again, and he can’t stop the tears that build in his eyes at the thought that he’d almost left him—again.

Diaz, you want to ride with the kid to the hospital?

Yeah, that’d be gr—

His son had already lost his mom, and because of someone with a stupid vengeance, a really close call almost took his father away from him too.

His emotions are strangling him not for the first time that night. He refuses to wake his son twice in one night, but he feels like he’ll suffocate from the lump in his throat if he doesn’t let it out, so he carefully stands up from the bed without moving his son too much.

He moves to the bathroom out in the hall, shutting the door behind him before he catches his reflection in the mirror. The bags and dark circles under his eyes make him look like a zombie, brown eyes tearful and dull. The look is familiar to the one he wore for months after he got home from Afghanistan.

Greggs is dead.

The others aren’t, thanks to you.

Greggs...died on impact.

And you pulled him out anyway. You got them all out, Staff Sergeant Diaz.

You did good, Diaz.

Doesn’t feel like enough.

Splashing his face with water does its job to bring him back to the present but does little to help the lifelessness behind his eyes.

“Eddie!”

At the frightened call of his name, Eddie is suddenly ready and alert for any incoming danger.

He stands with his hand on the handle to the bathroom door, standing still, listening out for the call again.

“Eddie! No!”

He’s off without a second thought, fast but quietly running towards the living room where he knows Buck is sleeping.

“Let me go! Eddie!”

Eddie’s heart is in his throat at the agony in his best friend’s cries and the sight of him thrashing so bad he’s started to move the couch.

A sob erupts from Buck’s lip and that’s what kicks Eddie into action. He’s in front of the couch on the coffee table, not too close to crowd him but close enough to reach out if needed.

“Buck, wake up, it’s okay. I’m okay, you just have to wake up. It’s just a dream.”

He tries to reach him with words but nothing seems to be getting through, so he reaches forward and shakes him, his name on his lips, and braces for the impact of flailing arms and kicking legs. Nothing comes.

Except the broken sob around Eddie’s name.

The tears well up behind his eyes once again but this time, he pushes them back. The first thing Buck sees when he’s shaken out of his nightmare should not be Eddie crying.

He squeezes down on his shoulder once more and that’s what seems to do the trick. Buck shoots up on the couch, Eddie’s name leaving his lips on a scream, hands clawing at the blankets in front of him—clawing at the blankets like he’d clawed to get away from Mehta to get to Eddie.

“Eddie!”

“Buck, Buck, it’s okay, I’m okay. I’m right here. It was just a dream. Buck, look at me!”

Eddie, look at me! Look at me, man, come on. Stay awake!

Buck freezes when his eyes finally land on him, but before Eddie can let out a sigh of relief that he’d gotten through to him, Buck is gripping his shirt just over where the bullet went through and the tremors going through Buck go straight through Eddie from the contact.

“We need to stop the bleeding!” He croaks out. “You’re losing so much blood. There’s so much blood.”

Shit. Buck might be awake, but his mind isn’t there with the rest of him yet.

“Hey, Buck, there’s no blood. Okay? There’s no blood. I’m fine, I’m all patched up—”

He pulls the bottom of his shirt up as much as he can and uses his other hand to move Buck’s hand from the grip on his shirt to the scar just under his shoulder.

“—see? You helped stop the bleeding. I’m okay, Buck, because you saved me. We’re not back there. You’re here with me in my living room and I’m with you.”

The fog is slowly starting to clear from his eyes as he traces the scar. “You’re okay?”

“I’m okay.” He assures.

Eddie thinks they might be in the clear until Buck looks down at his trembling hands and his breathing picks up, more and more until he’s hyperventilating.

“Get it off—it needs to—make it go away. Get it off of me. It’s all over.” He sobs and Eddie has to clasp both of Buck’s hands in between his own when he starts to roughly rub at his face.

Eddie needed to calm himself down. He needs to stay grounded in this moment because Buck was in front of him, but so far away and needed Eddie to bring him back.

So he takes a deep breath and thinks about how Buck helped him through one of his flashbacks he’d experienced a couple of days after waking up in the hospital.

“Buck, I think you’re having a flashback right now. That’s okay though, because I’m gonna help get you through it, just like you did for me in the hospital.”

Buck whimpers. “The blood—get it off.”

“There is no blood, Buck. Do you hear me? Listen to my voice. It’s Eddie, we’re both safe and okay at my house right now, there’s no blood. If you can hear me, squeeze my hands.”

Eddie relaxes the slightest when there’s a light squeeze around his fingers.

“Good, that’s really good. Do you think you can lift your head for a second?” He smiles at him when he lifts his head and meets his eye. “Look around the room. Describe your surroundings.”

Buck’s grip on Eddie’s hand gets tighter.

“Okay, how about this—” Eddie pauses and looks around the room, finding the object thrown just a little bit across the room and leans forward to grab it. “Take this, Buck. Can you tell me about it? The details? The feeling? Describe it in great detail for me.”

Buck pulls his hands away from Eddie’s and grips the blanket in front of him.

It was a weighted blanket Adriana had given Eddie for his birthday one year, that was however taken by Buck whenever he’d stay over. That weighted blanket was used for comfort by Buck, no matter the mood he was in. It stays at Eddie’s house because Buck is there more often than not, but make no mistake, it was now Buck’s.

Hopefully this helps.

“It’s–It’s weighted.” Buck stutters out.

“Good, good. What else about it?”

“It’s gray…and plaid…”

–

“I’m sorry that I woke you up.” Buck whispers into the quiet kitchen.

Eddie sighs. “You didn’t wake me, I was already up.” He admits.

“Oh. Are you okay?”

He’s already tensing up, like Eddie’s been hiding that something’s been wrong the entire time, like Eddie wasn’t as okay as he was telling Buck he was.

Which, technically would have been a lie if he’d been talking about his mental health—but he was reassuring Buck that he was in good physical health, so, nothing to hide.

Eddie still hesitates. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

He continues when Buck raises an eyebrow in disbelief.

“Physically, I’m okay, I promise. Just had a nightmare.”

It’s completely silent aside from a sharp intake of breath from Buck.

“You’re still having nightmares?” Is what Buck finally asks, voice wavering and quiet.

“You’re having nightmares?” Eddie asks, deflecting but also asking out of concern.

Silence follows after. Buck won’t look up from where his eyes are trained on the mug of tea Eddie had placed in front of him with a look that he’d hoped read I care about you. The heat of his stare could probably heat up the tea on its own, but the look doesn’t deter him, it only makes him more concerned.

Buck, for the most part, was open about how he was feeling. It’s a quality that Eddie adored and often envied. He liked to—had to—talk his feelings out until he could make sense of them. If he didn’t, it would build and fester and eat away at him until he snapped. The lawsuit was one example of what happens when Buck doesn’t talk out how he’s feeling.

He knows he has Doctor Copeland and maybe he’s been talking about it to her, but Eddie can’t get rid of the feeling that this is something that has festered over two months and if that’s the case—

Well, he’s terrified of what Buck will do when he finally snaps.

Up to fifty-four percent of suicides in people with PTSD are attributed to PTSD.

He swallows the lump in his throat as a statistic he’d read in the book Frank had given him about PTSD makes its way to the forefront of his mind. He has to stop himself from physically flinching away from the thought.

It was something he brought up with Frank after he’d read the book at his insistence. The statistic had struck something in him then and the question that followed from Frank had given him a lot to think about.

“Have you recently thought about ending your life?”

It wasn’t a recent thing but it had been an almost consistent thought after he’d gotten back from Afghanistan when his PTSD was at its worst and he hadn’t seen an end to his suffering in sight.

What if Buck has been feeling the same way?

What if one day his trauma gets too much and he— what if he—

No. That’s not going to happen, not if Eddie has anything to say about it.

He breaks the silence.

“Have you talked to Doctor Copeland about how much you’re struggling?”

Still refusing to look at him, Buck mumbles, “I’m not struggling.”

Eddie scoffs. “I believe that.”

“You should.” Buck huffs out.

“You’re allowed to struggle with this, Buck. What happened was—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He cuts Eddie off abruptly, his voice choked.

Eddie crosses the room, pulls out the chair next to Buck from under the table and turns to face it directly at him before sitting down.

“Well, I’m sorry, but we’re going to talk about it.” He says matter-of-factly.

“Eddie,” Buck starts, his tone a warning.

“Buck.” He counters in the same tone.

Buck looks like he’s about to bolt— he knows him well enough to know he won’t, but he still reaches out and gently squeezes Buck’s forearm, not letting go. He can feel how much he’s still shaking and squeezes again in an effort to comfort him—and comfort himself, keep himself and Buck grounded in the present. He’s feeling so on edge himself, so he can’t imagine how Buck must feel after that flashback.

“We haven’t talked about that day. It’s been almost two months and we haven’t talked about what happened.” He swallows. “Have you talked about it to anyone?”

The breath Buck takes in is shaky.

“Why are you so insistent about my struggles when you’re struggling yourself?” His tone is defensive but it has Eddie nodding.

He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, then meets Buck’s eyes. “I am. Struggling.”

It’s the first time Eddie has admitted to anyone outright that he was struggling. He’d talked to Frank, but he only ever said the bare minimum of what he was feeling and he admits he had no plans to continue his sessions with Frank now that it’s not mandatory.

The uncomfortable feeling that always comes with being this vulnerable, even with Buck, starts to buzz under his skin but he continues.

“It’s not something I ever like to admit, you know this...but yeah, Buck, I’m really struggling.”

At the break in his voice, Buck’s hand is suddenly resting on top of the hand that’s holding onto Buck’s forearm. He remains quiet but he gives Eddie a look that said he was listening if he wanted to talk more.

He’s not surprised to find that he does want to talk about it more because talking to Buck has always been easy, no matter how hard the topic was to talk about.

“I was really bad when I came home from Afghanistan after I was given a Silver Star. I was being called a hero by everyone when all I could think was that I didn’t do good enough because Greggs still died, still left three daughters behind.”

Eddie pauses to take a much needed deep breath and turns his hand that’s under Buck’s palm up and grasps onto Buck’s the second their hands connect. Buck squeezing back is enough to get the next words out of his mouth.

“I’m really scared that I’m gonna get that bad again, man.” Eddie whispers his greatest fear. “There have been days where I’ve been terrified to leave the house, thinking that they didn’t actually catch the sniper and I’ll be back there again. I can’t go back there again.”

Buck squeezed his hand again in comfort.

“I’m always going to be here for you, Eds. I won’t let you go back there.” Buck’s voice is no more than a whisper but the sentiment is so loud.

He knows Buck will always be there for him, it’s not a surprise, but the simple promise from his best friend was exactly what he needed to loosen the tightness in his chest for the time being. A sob bubbles past his throat and that’s all it takes for Buck to pull him into his arms and give Eddie the tightest hug he thinks he’s ever received.

Neither of them say anything as Eddie takes shelter in Buck’s arms, face tucked in the crook of his neck, sheltered from all the bad that’s happened. A safe place.

He can only hope that he’s Buck’s safe place, too.

“And I’m always going to be here for you,” Eddie whispers against Buck’s neck after a while.

He feels the moment Buck tenses. He expects him to pull away, to try to convince Eddie he’s not struggling, but instead, Buck sucks in a breath and grips the back of Eddie’s shirt.

“You almost weren’t.”

The choked whisper has Eddie tightening his arms around Buck. “But I’m here now and that’s because of you, okay? You kept me alive.”

He doesn’t just mean the way Buck had gotten him into the safety of the 133’s truck, or the way he did all he could to make sure he hadn’t lost any more blood.

He fought to come home to Christopher, and he fought to come home to Buck. He held on for those two and those two only.

Not Ana, who he should have thought of but she wasn’t who he loved.

It’s a good thing that he hadn’t fought to come back to her, too, because the moment Eddie shut down… she left. He couldn’t blame her, he’d been a wreck when he first came home and his mental health was not on her.

But Buck was there. Buck never left, has never left, will never leave. If Eddie is sure of anything, it’s Buck’s permanency in his life.

He’s going to make damn sure he’s a permanent in Buck’s by fighting to come home to him, too.

“I froze, Eddie. I didn’t do anything.”

“You did everything you could do in the situation and you saved me, Buck. Don’t you get that? You kept me hanging on, you got me back to my son.”

He feels Buck shake his head as he starts to burrow his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck. He doesn’t respond, just shakes in his arms. A sob escapes Buck’s lips.

Eddie holds him tighter, using his good arm to rub his hand up and down Buck’s back in an attempt to soothe him.

“Talk to me, Buck.” He pleads. Eddie is still crying himself—hasn't been able to get himself to stop.

“There was so much—” He starts off before pushing away from Eddie’s embrace and puts a hand near his throat, rubbing at his skin as if he was scrubbing something off. “So much blood.”

Yeah, that’d be gr—

—gunfire.

Eddie shakes his head, trying to dispel the memory from the forefront of his mind.

“Yo–you–you reached for me, and I cou–couldn’t get to you. Then your eyes closed and oh my God, Eddie, there was so much blood.”

Buck is pretty much wailing at this point and he can’t help but wonder how Christopher hasn’t been woken up yet from the noise they’ve both made. He doesn’t think he can take the pain in his heart at the anguish in his best friend’s cries and he vows to himself to never cause this pain again.

He’s still rubbing at his neck, staring directly at Eddie’s shoulder and Eddie doesn’t like the way his stare starts to become distant. He reaches for Buck’s hand and lets out a sigh of relief when he lets him pull it away from his throat.

“Stay with me, Buck.”

Stay with me, Eddie!

Breathe.

“Shit—fuck—shit, I’m so sorry.” Buck chokes out and Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise—confusion, disbelief…

“You have nothing to be sorry for, man.”

“No, no, I do. I’m not the one who got shot, I shouldn’t be—I shouldn’t be struggling like this… and you got shot, you’re dealing with your own feelings about that, you shouldn’t have to listen to me.”

Eddie ducks down to try to meet Buck’s eye. “Hey, no, it’s not a competition here—who had it more traumatic—no. You were covered in my blood, you were being targeted in active shooter situation—”

“Actually, I wasn’t.” He cuts him off sharply.

“He was targeting firefighters.”

“I was in my civies. He wasn’t after me, he was targeting the 133 and you.” The guilt in his statement cuts right through Eddie’s heart.

“You’re allowed to be struggling, Buck. You’ve got every right to be and I hate that you haven’t talked to anyone about this— it’s been two months. Why?”

“Because I’m not the one who got shot and because I just freeze like I did then when it’s brought up. I couldn’t get myself to talk about it but now that I have it’s all coming out and fuck, Eds, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

“You were still involved in a completely fucked up situation and anyone who has would struggle. I get it, though. You’re the first person outside of Frank that I’ve talked to about how it’s messed me up. But shit, Buck, I know from experience how much worse I’d be if I didn’t talk about it.” He takes in a deep breath and lets out a humorless laugh. “When did we switch places here?”

He continues when Buck gives him a bewildered look.

“You have to talk your problems out to process them and I have never liked talking about my problems. When did you become the one in this relationship to hold it all in and when did I become the one that actually talked about it so I could heal from it?”

“When I almost lost you.” Buck whispers, his voice wet. “I’m proud of you, though. I’m glad you’re talking to Frank. I hope he’s helped.”

“Well you didn’t lose me. I’m right here, so talk to me. Come to me when you get like this. We went through the same hellish trauma together so I promise you I won’t get tired of you talking about your feelings from it—about anything.”

He knows that Buck feeling like a burden is part of his reluctance to talk, it always was whenever Buck came to him to talk about his struggles.

Buck sighs, tension deflating from his body little by little before he folds over and rests his forehead on Eddie’s chest. Eddie takes his hand that’s not holding Buck’s and cards it through his hair.

“Okay, fine. I’ll try, on one condition.”

“Anything.” Eddie means it.

“You come to me, too.”

“Deal.” Eddie smiles. “Maybe you can do something for me though?”

“Anything.” Buck whispers.

“The second her office opens, set up an appointment with Doctor Copeland.” Eddie almost pleads. “I’m going to book one with Frank.”

He hadn’t planned on going back to him after the sessions stopped being mandatory but this talk has made him realize a few things, and one of them was that therapy had helped. The difference between Eddie’s return from Afghanistan and the aftermath of being shot was just that—therapy.

And if it got his best friend to actually talk about it and start healing, too, that’s a positive bonus.

“Yeah, o—” A loud yawn escapes Buck that cuts him off.

Eddie yawns right after him, followed by a snort. “We should probably get some sleep.”

“I can’t—I don’t want to have another nightmare.”

Eddie moves the hand in Buck’s hair to his cheek and lightly taps him. He smiles at Buck as their eyes meet. “I’ve got an idea. C’mon, get up, follow me.”

Buck never makes a move to let go of Eddie’s hand as they walk and neither does he. He goes over to the couch and grabs Buck’s weighted blanket with his free hand and leads him to his room.

“Eddie?” Buck stops him before he can open the door.

“Stay with me tonight.”

“Are you sure?”

“It would be for me, too.” Eddie squeezes his hand. “Though I should warn you—” He opens his door to reveal Christopher sound asleep in his bed. “I should have said stay with us tonight.”

“Eddie.”

“I’m absolutely positive I want you with us tonight.” He answers the unasked question on Buck’s tongue.

He lifts the blanket and gestures for Buck to get in first but Buck shakes his head. “You can go there.”

The bed stirs as he gets in.

“Dad?” Christopher mumbles sleepily. “Buck?”

“Yeah, bud, Buck’s here. He also had a bad dream, do you mind if he sleeps with us?” Eddie asks, already knowing his son’s answer would be yes.

Christopher nods with a sleepy smile.

When Buck slides in next to him, Christopher leans over and cups Buck’s face the way he had cupped his not two hours ago. “You’re gonna be okay, kid.”

Tears appear in Buck’s eyes but he gives Christopher a wet smile and nods. “Yeah. I think I will be.”

His son really was the greatest.

Buck’s insistence that Eddie got into bed before him starts to make sense after Buck starts to fall asleep. He subconsciously slots himself against Eddie’s back and pulls him closer, leaving his arm around him, resting over his heart.

He wanted to protect him. He’d wanted to protect Eddie from all of the dangers that could come through that door.

In that moment, Eddie has never felt safer.

His safe place.

#my writing #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #tw suicidal thoughts #tw mention of blood #tw blood #911 on fox #911 fox

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Kick Some Ghost Ass

”Until Dawn Gang x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing, Sex jokes (excuse my bad humor)

Genre: CRACK, Humor

Summary: It’s one thing when trouble finds this gang, but why don’t we take a look at what happens when they go actively looking for trouble. Needless to say, chaos ensues and no one is spared. Some are more affected than others, and some are dead-ass traumatized, but isn’t that just how life is in general?

Requested by my dearest ever - Until Dawn Anon. Hi lovely! I’ve missed writing your requests and I’m really happy to be back, creating another chaotic fic! I’m sorry it has taken me so long to post it but here it finally is - crazy as ever! I hope you enjoy it! Love you to Blackwood Pines and back baby ❤❤❤

I don’t know how I’ve found myself in this situation but I’m not complaining. If I get to do dumb crazy shenanigans with my crew, I’m ready for just about anything. Not to mention I’m no stranger to ghost hunting. I’m that kid that made DIY Ouija boards and took them to cemeteries with their terrified friends. You should’ve seen us leaving after capturing no ghostly activity - my friends relieved as fuck, and me pissed as fuck.

But today, I’m not expecting nor will I be accepting any disappointment. Especially not with Jess swearing on her Chanel purse that she wasn’t making things up when she said she had a haunted house she wanted us to visit. I must say, I appreciate this group’s enthusiasm when it comes to the paranormal. Never have I had someone who catches my vibe on the subject so well, let alone an entire gang all sharing the same opinion as me - that ghosts, demons and poltergeists are so fucking cool. Sure, Emily took a bit of convincing and Jess is not one to give a shit about the other world creatures invisible to the human eye, but something allegedly happened that changed her mind.

Her a-hundred-and-something-year-old great-grandmother passed away recently and though the death itself didn’t shake Jess up as much as it probably should’ve, the events that followed led to this moment right now - the eleven of us pooling out of two minivans that have pulled up to a terrifying looking house in a wooded are of the suburbs. Jess literally gathered us all on an ‘emergency meeting’ in the courtyard of our college just so she could explain the situation in detail - she doesn’t do well with explaining things in general, let alone when she’s hysterical - so we only understood what she was trying to say when she mentioned the word ‘ghost’. That’s when we all started listening more closely, with the exception of Emily, Beth and Sam but the latter two were intrigued despite trying yo hide it. You can only imagine how excited Josh, Chris and I were, Mike and Matt following a close second behind. Ash was a tiny bit more hesitant but Chris convinced her to give in. And just like that, a week later, here we are.

“I gotta ask, did your great-gran own a VHS player? Or a chest in the attic? Bonus points if there’s a creepy, child-sized doll in there.“ Josh asks as he yanks all the equipment he insisted we bring out of the trunk of the minivan.

“Quit fucking around, Josh! This is serious!“ Jess complains from the spot she’s standing in, shivering in the cold autumn breeze.

“Yeah, Josh! VHS players, creepy dolls, that’s all child’s play.“ I scold him as I pull on my jacket, wrapping it around me more tightly, “Shit gets serious when there’s a secret basement.“

“Y/N!“ Jess shrieks in exasperation. Honesty, how am I supposed to NOT bother her when doing the opposite is so much easier and brings more amusement? “You’re not helping!“

“Wasn’t trying to.“ I wink at her, driving her into a new level of fury that almost leads her to chuck her phone at me. If it weren’t such a prized possession of hers, I’m pretty sure she would’ve chucked it with the intention of knocking me dead. I’m lucky she has the aim of a drunk toddler that spun around fifteen times.

“Hey, quit pissing my girlfriend off, will ya?!“ Mike, who is basically halfway inside the trunk of the other van calls out to us.

I roll my eyes but choose to let it slide. However, someone else doesn’t. Emily does a dramatic turn on her heel, turning to face Mike, or at least the only part of him which is visible. You can imagine how hard it is arguing with an ass like THAT. I don’t know how Emily does it but oh well, I guess I do it too, in a way.

“So it’s girlfriend now, huh? No space between the words?“ Oh that smile she’s flashing him, it could make the Devil himself shiver. I find it kinda hot though - it means shit’s about to go down or hit the fan, either way, the rest of us will be entertained.

Mikey boy straightens up, gracing the rest of us by-standers with his dazzling features. Nah, I’m capping. I honestly think Mike is as attractive as I am patient - very little, almost not at all. It’s surprising how him and Jess are now apparently together since I always pegged her to be the superficial type.

“Got a problem with that, Em?“ He asks, eyebrow raising, head tilting to the side. Oh yeah, it’s on now. But, as someone who’s been quite excited to do some ghost hunting, and also as a representative of the peanut gallery formed of the rest of us who find it amusing and annoying, I feel the need to cut it short before it goes where it shouldn’t. I came to see some exorcist shit, not Keeping Up With The Bitter Exs.

“Jess, I sure hope your grandma is a blood-thirsty ghost cause I can think of at least two people I’d serve to her on a silver platter.“ I snatch the keys the blond has been jingling nervously between her fingers and jog up the stairs to the front door.

Ok I maybe overexaggerated the eeriness of the house. It sure wouldn’t sit right with you if you saw it around sunset or at night, especially not if it’s foggy, but a horror movie house it is most certainly isn’t. It’s pristine and well kept, not a single crack in the walls, the only reason it’s unsettling is because: 1) We’ve all seen a few too many horror movies; 2) There’s been reports of ‘ghostly activity’ - as far as Jess is to be trusted.

While I’m surfing through all the keys, checking each and every single one of them on the door because the real key is unmarked, I can’t help but overhear the conversation going on behind me on the porch.

“Can you believe we got all this in a single day and for a discount on top of all?! Whoever says Craigslist sucks isn’t doing it right.“ Chris’ enthusiasm over the deal him and Josh got on the ghost hunting equipment has been what’s keeping a wide grin on his face this whole time. Though I’m proud of my boys for not getting murdered by the Craigslist seller, I must say I hate that I lost the bet we had - I had to pay them each ten bucks if they didn’t get scammed/kidnapped/murdered and I’m now twenty bucks poorer. I’m not saying I value those twenty bucks more than my friends, though my broke ass needs all the bucks it has and all the dollar bills it could get, but Lord knows I hate losing.

“Yeah, and the guy was only mildly sketchy.“ Josh adds just as excitedly and proudly, “To be honest, Cochise and I were probably the scary looking ones in that parking lot.“

A look over my shoulder shows the twins, Sam, Matt and Ash giving the duo skeptical and somewhat disappointing looks and shakes of their heads. I’ll admit, the equipment is in very good condition and it’s the complete set for ghost-hunting, according to BuzzFeed at least. I’m impressed with the purchase - probably had something to do with how scary Chris and Josh actually look. The all-nighters we’ve all been pulling lately have taken a toll on them worst with the dark circles and bags under their hollow eyes, pale faces and brains turned to mush. I know I’d give them a discount to avoid them pulling out meat cleavers on me.

“That’s all fine and dandy guys, but do you know how to work any of this?“ Sam asks, hesitantly lifting the EMF reader and turning it in her hand, analyzing it with a curious gaze.

Josh and Chris exchange a look before the former replies, “Just the cameras and voice recorder, the rest falls on them.” He points a finger at me and laughs, “Though they aren’t able to work something as simple as keys, they are more than qualified to be a ghostbuster.”

“You know, Josh, jokes on you, I can work keys! Jess, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be able to work well with organizing things, hence my problem with these keys.“ I hurl the bunch of keys connected my a scarlet keychain at Josh, “Lemme demonstrate my true skills.“ I hop down the flight of stone stairs and approach the pile of equipment the guys have created smack-dab in the middle of the house’s driveway.

“Oh, I gotta see this!” Mr. Ex-Class-President all but runs over, frowning when we all turn to look at him just as I pick up the spirit box to show off how it works, “Oh that’s what you meant. So you aren’t taking your clothes off?“

Jess and I are alike in one thing - the need we feel to chuck objects at people who piss us off. “You’re girlfriend is, like, right behind you, Munroe. Have some decency!”

“I was gonna enjoy a show as well, but I’m guessing we won’t be getting one.“ The girlfriend in question replies, looking at me quizzically as though that’s gonna convince me into discarding my outfit.

“No, unless you’re a ghost.“ I point the device I’m holding at Mike, “But if your boyfriend here keeps acting up I might turn him into one.“

“That sounds kinda kinky.“ Beth’s comment surprises me. The wink she sends me even more so. “And I kinda like it.“

Ok, ok, ok, hold on.

Flirting with Munroe is one thing, but Beth is a completely different story. I can be threatening Mike with a knife one moment and cracking sex jokes with him over cold beer the next. While Beth actually has the ability to get me flustered and blushing, and my close relationship with her brother doesn’t help. Mother fucker can just whack me upside the head every time he catches me fussing over my silly crush on his sister.

“Ew, you too! Keep it in your pants or at least get a room.“ Emily doesn’t miss a beat when it comes to being herself. She’s truly a garbage bin full of treasure.

“We’d do the latter if SOMEONE could get the door open.” I glare daggers at Josh who is making hopeless attempts at what I was doing earlier - unlocking that damn door.

“I’d be more than happy to come through for you ladies.“ Mike says, getting in a stance of a runner before a race, his body directly opposite the door.

Oh I can’t wait to see where this is going. I SHOULD RECORD IT.

“Mike, it’s still breaking and entering and it’s still against the law even if the person’s dead.“ Sam points out, entering her mother-like mode, ruining the fun and causing me to pout at her. She gives me a look of disappointment - one worse than I’ve ever seen on my parents - so I just shut my trap before she can also express said disappointment through words and have me feeling guilty for the rest of the day.

A loud crash suddenly echoes causing us to turn our heads to look for the source of the terrifyingly startling sound. One glance is all it takes to put our minds at ease and a second one is enough to provoke different reactions in all of us - the broken window telling the story of where Josh has disappeared.

“What did I just say about breaking and entering?!“ Sam shouts after him while the vast majority of us are cracking up like hyaenas. Jess is just gaping at the broken window next to the front door in disbelief. She obviously can’t decide whether to join in on the fun or serve as back-up to Sam. Josh did technically damage private property that’s partially hers, but if you ask me it serves her right for not marking her keys.

“Sorry, I was too busy breaking the window to hear that part of the conversation!“ Josh’s apologetic smile appears on the other side of glassless frame. I can’t tell if he’s genuinely sorry or holding back laughter but either way, he looks innocent enough for Sam to let him off the hook as long as he doesn’t cause any more trouble - in which case: tough luck. Chris, Josh and I are nothing if not troublemakers, especially when we’re together. Chris tones it down when Ash’s around, and the same goes for Josh with Sam while I’m simply problematic regardless of who’s watching. My chaos is untamable, it’s a blessing and a curse and I love it, even though it’s landed me in hot water more than once. It’s nice to be around people on the same wavelength - chaos resides within this group and not a single one of us can hide it.

“At least we have a way in now.“ Ash offers Josh a helping hand in this argument after she recovers from the overwhelming fit of laughter. “I hope the broken window doesn’t anger your gran, Jess.“

The blond snaps out of her trance briefly, “No, she was a very sweet lady, but damn is Josh creative!” She hurries to correct herself, “Destructively creative.”

I hurry to correct her once again, “Chaotically creative.”

“Guys, do you mind coming in? It’s very creepy standing here alone!“ Josh calls out to us, looking over his shoulder at the interior of the house, “I’m expecting to be snatched and dragged to that secret basement we mentioned.“

“Mention it one more time and I swear to God-!“ Jess screams, fists tightened.

Before her angry wrath could crash atop us, we all make our way into the house through the broken window, carefully avoiding the shards of glass strewn about. One step inside and we’re met with the upmost of horror clichés - a drop in temperature. We’re all wearing thick hoodies because the weather outside is chilly in and of itself, but said hoodies aren’t as efficient at holding the house’s cold at bay and away from out skin.

Chris and Matt make their way in last, carrying the equipment consisting of three cameras, flashlights for everyone, an EMF reader, a spirit voice box, a voice recorder and a motion detector. I help them hand a light to each group member as well as a ghost-hunting device before we venture onward.

“If I were your grandma’s ghost, I’d be ten times more pissed about that window. It looks to me like that lady payed a lot of attention to keeping things in order.“ Matt comments while he examines the expensive looking painting hanging in the hallway.

I hear Emily scoff, “Unlike some.” but the remark is said so quickly and quietly I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who heard it.

Jess laughs, “She did like things in order, but she was never as strict as you might think. As I said, she was very sweet.“

“So do you just not take after her at all or were you adopted?“ Emily’s remarks are no longer a mumbled jumble of words, “No, nevermind, of course you’re not adopted. Your parents are smart people, they wouldn’t have chosen you if they had the chance.“

Jess laughs again, much more menacingly this time, causing me to exchange a look with Hannah who’s walking beside me. “Twenty bucks says one of them isn’t making it out of here.” It’s just a matter of time, to be honest. If not the lodge, or any party we’ve ever attended as a group, this haunted house is the perfect opportunity for a murder. We could even argue it was a ghost.

Luckily, the two cats clawing at each other’s throats don’t overhear, “No, my parents aren’t stupid, but your boyfriend clearly is. He chooses to date you! Or are you holding him captive or something.“

Ok that’s enough. I can tolerate a lot of things, but people calling one of my best friends stupid is not something I’m about to put up with, “How dare you call one of my hoes stupid?” I sneer at Jess, eyes narrowing.

“I thought I was your hoe too!“ She fights back, looking almost offended.

“Even more reason you shouldn’t have called him that! I don’t tolerate my hoes not respecting each other.“

I don’t get to see where this argument goes because Ashley’s shriek echoes throughout the hallway, stealing mine as well as the attention of everyone else.

“There’s a ghost in here!“ Making it to the doorway of the room she’s in first, I peak my head inside and see the EMF reader she’s holding going nuts as if it’s detected something.

“Don’t worry, Ash, there’s a dead cactus here. That’s not the ghost we’re looking for, is it?“ Chris, my amazingly bright friend says, quirking an eyebrow suggesting that remark was nothing short of dead-ass serious.

“Chris, darling, that’s not how it works. Cactuses are plants.“ I point out as sweetly as I can as to mask my laughter.

“Don’t the same ghostly rules apply?“ The genuine look of confusion he gives me almost makes me lose it.

“Ok children, leave the room, we need to set up a motion detector to be sure.“ Beth says with a tone that suggests she’s more than over our insanity. Jeez, count on her and Sam to start parenting us through our chaos. They are of high authority, must admit - one genuinely feels bad if they don’t comply to whatever these two girls demand.

We all pile out in the hallway while the twins set up this interesting motion detector with green dots. I don’t know what Jess’ granny looked like, but I bet that even the most unattractive of people would look hella good with this lighting. Thankfully the room is dark enough with the shutters closed and the curtains drawn, allowing the dots to be perfectly visible.

We stare at the minimalistic room littered with fluorescent green dots on every surface for maybe a minute or two but not much happens to the disappointment to some and relief to others. However, as if not wanting to let us down, the ghost makes a shy appearance if the shift of the green dots is anything to go by.

“Oh shit, is that a ghost?“ Chris whispers, sounding as amazed as I feel in this moment.

“It better be.“ I mutter in response, refusing to blink and risk missing anything important.

The sudden presence of the obnoxious noise of the spirit voice box makes us all jump. As I turn my head to glare at whoever’s using it, Josh speaks up. “Are you an attractive ghost?”

“Josh, that’s my great-grandmother, you ass!“ Jess barks with disgust in her voice.

In the meantime, I catch glimpse of Mike rolling up his sleeves. Oh shit, this ain’t good.

“I’ve been waiting for this!“ He shouts victoriously, cracking his knuckles.

Knowing this won’t end well, the first thing I do is snatch the camera from Chris’ hands and turn it on.

“Um, Mike, what do you mean?“ Sam’s back to being concerned, turning to the rest of us when Mike doesn’t give her a response, “What’s he gonna do?“

“Fight it.“ I answer as though it’s the most normal thing to ever have been done, “Or, ash he calls it - kick some ghost ass.“

“A freaking ghost?! He’s gonna try to tussle with something he can’t see?“ I can’t tell if Matt’s tone is disbelief, amusement or disappointment, but I believe he isn’t about to try and stop or dear ex-president in his pursuit and that’s all that matters. I ain’t about to let someone stop whatever’s about to go down from going down.

“That’s still my great-grandmother, you dumbass!“ Jess shrieks with something alike terror.

“Don’t worry Jess, I’m sure she’ll go easy on him.“ I say in an attempt to reassure her but I can’t even be bothered really, I’m too laser-focused on the circus that’s about to take place in front of me.

Mike, as if encouraged by my words, charges into the room. Much to his dismay, before he could even reach the ghost, he’s met with a much more vigorous enemy - the carpet. The rascal trips him up and Mr. Munroe falls flat on his face.

The group stays silent, looking at the glorious aftermath of the glorious fall. Told ya these lights could make everything fabulous. Must say, it’s truly an honor for me to have been able to catch all that on tape.

“10/10, would ghost-hunt with Mikey Munroe again.“

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reyescarlos · 3 years

Text

look after you || a buddie fic

❄️ @911giftexchange fic for @bombera hey, tori! i'm wishing you the happiest of holidays! this year has truly been one for the books so i hope this fic will help to end 2020 on a good note for you! it kinda ran away from me but i hope you’ll enjoy! ❄️

word count: 4.7k || read on ao3

You've begun to feel like home, yeah What's mine is yours to leave or take What's mine is yours to make your own

Infamously December is known to be a hectic month but now, with just a little over two weeks until Christmas, Eddie is feeling the pressure. His work schedule leaves little to no time for him to prepare for the holiday season, time slipping through his fingers with such ease that it had come as a surprise to see just how close he and the rest of the world were getting to the big day.

His concern was bad enough but this last week his mind has been additionally preoccupied with worrying over his son who is the latest person to come down with the bug that’s running rampant. If he isn’t at work, he’s right by Chris’ side, doting over him and doing his best to insure his comfort.

Throughout it all he has had Buck, his best friend and confidant, a man he can share virtually any thought with. All, really, but one. Eddie groans internally. His unspoken feelings for Buck are the last thing he needs to dwell on now. But the thought is far easier to think than put into practice with Buck sharing this space with him. Even on his day off Buck opts to spend time at the Diaz house, an additional set of hands that Eddie is beyond grateful for at such a time. Buck has long since been a staple in his home and now, more than ever, he’s grateful for his companionship and help to keep him from going under. Buck seems to understand him in ways very few can, sensing his needs and thoughts without a single word uttered.

He can feel Buck’s eyes on him as he pops two slices of bread into the toaster but he focuses on his task, doing his best to keep his head on straight though his mind is a riot of thoughts.

Eddie massages the back of his neck to relieve some tension, stretching it a bit as he draws in a breath.

“Alright, what’s going with you?” Buck asks.

Eddie turns back to face him and shrugs. “It’s nothing. I’m just trying to figure out a game plan. I still have to finish holiday shopping but you’ve seen our schedule for the next two weeks. We’re practically going to be living at the station.”

“But we have today off and it’s only noon. That’s plenty of time for you to head out there while I stay here with little man. See? Simple solution.”

“It’s your day off. I couldn’t do that.”

“I can watch him, it’s not a problem,” Buck insists.

Eddie hesitates. It’s a great offer, one that would quickly remedy his dilemma. “I don’t know, Buck. It’s a big ask. It’s short notice and he’s sick.”

“It’s not a big ask. It’s not even an ask at all; I’m volunteering. And besides,” Buck says, puffing up his chest. “Buckleys don’t catch colds.”

Eddie’s mouth twists to one side in thought. Today really is the one true window of time he’ll have and it’ll certainly be easier to stealthily buy Chris’ presents without his observant son being able to see what he’s purchasing. Resigned, Eddie nods slowly, knowing this is the best offer he could possibly have.

“Alright, yeah, okay. I’ll try and hurry back but still, I know it’ll be a few hours until I’ll be back home.”

Buck rolls his eyes. “Would you relax? Take all the time you need, seriously. Chris and I always have a blast together. We’ll be just fine. I promise.”

“No, I know he’s good with you. I just…”

“Suck at accepting help, yes, I know,” Buck teases, patting him on the shoulder with one hand and gesturing towards the front of the house with the other.

“Go. I’m officially kicking you out. Don’t forget to get me something nice, yeah?”

~*~*~

Eddie returns home with a trunk full of presents after a very successful trip to the mall. He’s managed to get for everyone on his list and the relief he feels in having this task officially scratched off his to-do list is a major weight off his shoulders. He carries a few bags in with him to the house. From the moment he steps inside he can hear the raucous laughter of Christopher and Buck coming from the living room, his son breaking into a small coughing fit afterwards.

Eddie stashes his purchases into the closet, hiding the bags under his jacket in a feeble attempt to bury it for the time being. Buck and Chris carry on chatting and Eddie is certain that neither of them realizes he’s gotten back, so wrapped up they are in their conversation.

“Maybe we could go to New York like Kevin next year for Christmas? Me, you, and Dad.”

Eddie feels his body tense and he stays in place, curious as to what Buck’s response will be.

Eddie could easily picture it, the three of them taking on the city. The images that flood his mind teem with warmth and joy and sincerely, Eddie would love nothing more than to wrap himself in that. But a trip that elaborate wouldn’t be a casual thing between friends, at least not for him. It’s one thing to have Buck over at his place or for them to go on outings around LA with Chris on weekends. A Christmas getaway would carry far more weight. It’s something that families do. Something twinges a bit in Eddie’s chest at the thought. Somewhere along the way, without Eddie even fully realizing it had solidified itself, that’s precisely what Buck has become to him, and apparently Chris too.

“Now there’s an idea. I would love to go with you guys. Sure you wouldn’t mind me tagging along?”

Chris is quick to respond, casting away any trace of doubt. “Nope, the trip wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Eddie can hear Buck sigh. It’s clear just how touched his best friend is by Chris’ sentiment and Eddie would have to agree with his son. Any trip, any facet of life really, is so much better when Buck is thrown into the mix. He’s so interwoven into the fabric of their life, it’d be hard to picture any moment, big or small, without him there experiencing it with them.

“See, this is why you’re my favorite Diaz. Don’t tell your dad I said that though. It may break his old man heart,” Buck laughs, Chris joining in.

This melody is Eddie’s favorite sound, the lightheartedness of his two favorite guys sharing a private joke. It’s the little things like this that light him up, that fill him with a warmth so vibrant and strong that it takes every ounce of strength in him not to sit Buck down one day and have a serious conversation. But Eddie has never been good with words and in a case like this, for a topic this important, he knows a talk like that would be best handled with care. Whenever, or rather if ever, that day comes, Eddie hopes he’ll be prepared to handle it. Instead he’ll stick to this, to cloaking his feelings for the sake of keeping the scales balanced.

“With laughs that big I’m guessing someone is feeling better?” he says aloud, essentially announcing his presence.

He steps into the living room and sees the space has been transformed. A giant fort is set up in the center of the room and at the mouth of it is Buck and Chris stretched out side by side on pillows from the couch and Chris’ bed. It looks like the coziest of setups and Eddie isn’t at all surprised to see that Buck got creative in trying to make Chris as comfortable as possible.

Chris slaps on an innocent smile but Buck apparently has a harder time schooling his features.

“Eddie, you’re back. I didn’t even hear you come in,” he says, picking up the remote.

The end credits for Home Alone 2 flit by on screen. Buck hits pause as Chris reaches for the DVD of A Charlie Brown Christmas.

“Can we watch this one next?” he asks Buck who’s already nodding.

“Oh, definitely. This is one of my all-time favorites. How about I get you another bowl of soup and then we can fire this one up. Sound good?”

Chris gives him a two thumbs up and flops back against the pillows, plucking a tissue out of the box and wiping at his nose. Eddie frowns seeing his son so sick but the best he can do is continue supplying him with medicine and fluids to help him through it.

Buck carefully climbs out of the fort and walks over to Eddie, the two of them going into the kitchen.

“How’d your shopping go?” Buck asks as he opens the fridge and takes out a container.

“Really well. I managed to get stuff for everyone on my list, including a certain pest I know,” he jokes the second Buck opens his mouth, no doubt to check about the status of his own gift.

“Well, I’m glad you have your priorities in order then, thank you.”

A comfortable silence falls between them as Buck moves around the kitchen and Eddie is struck, not for the first time since befriending Buck, at how comfortable his friend is inside of his home. That’s all Eddie could have ever wanted. Buck moves with such assurance taking a bowl down from the cupboard, pulling a spoon out of a drawer, knowing exactly where everything is without hesitation or having to ask. It warms his heart to see this, to know that Buck must feel comfortable here, that this could somehow be home.

“Thanks again for watching Chris for me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it,” he says as Buck pops the now filled bowl into the microwave.

“Don’t mention it. I love hanging out with him and if I can help you in any way, I will. Always.”

Buck holds his gaze and for a moment, Eddie thinks he’ll say more. There’s something in his expression that looks as if he’s trying to communicate something wordlessly but far too soon, the moment passes and shortly after the microwave beeping breaks the silence between them. Buck smiles softly before turning away but Eddie keeps his eyes trained on his back, getting lost in his thoughts.

Maybe this is all in his head or perhaps an unhealthy amount of wishful thinking is at play but lately something has felt different between them, as if there’s something going unspoken.

Buck gets a tray and puts the bowl on top of it, carefully picking it up from the countertop.

“I can bring it to him,” Eddie says, gesturing to take the tray. “You can get out of here, if you want. You should enjoy what’s left of your day off.”

Buck rolls his eyes as he side steps and laughs. “That’s exactly what I’m doing now. Didn’t you hear? It’s Charlie Brown time. No way in hell am I missing him or that tree.”

Eddie smiles softly and shakes his head. He opens his mouth to say something but falls short on words. Buck seems to understand regardless as he smiles back and nods.

“I know,” he says simply. Eddie wants so desperately to ask what exactly it is that Buck knows, what he feels but he lets the matter go for now.

This right here is more than enough, he reasons. To have Buck look at him and comprehend even a fraction of his gratitude.

~*~*~

Eddie knows he worries too much but watching Buck throughout their busy morning and early afternoon with back to back calls, he can’t help but to feel a little troubled over Buck’s slower pace and quieter nature. Usually he could be counted on to be the most energized and talkative during calls but today he’s so much more subdued and it feels like a real cause for concern.

“You okay?” Eddie asks, searching Buck’s face as they wash their hands in the bathroom to prep for lunch.

“Yeah, I just need some food in me and I’ll be good to go.”

Buck smiles reassuringly but Eddie isn’t convinced. Nonetheless he follows Buck up to the loft where the rest of the crew is already gathered around the table. Eddie takes a seat beside Hen who sits across from Chimney, the two already engaged in conversation.

This leaves Eddie the coveted spot of sitting opposite Buck.

Buck settles in at the table beside Chimney, placing a hand against his throat as he clears it before he reaches to the center of the table to start fixing his plate. Eddie watches him curiously as he’s done all day, noting the way Buck seems to be moving a bit slower than usual, the man’s eyes trained in focus on the simple task of putting food on his plate.

Eddie wonders if he’s reading too much into Buck’s body language but given how well he knows his friend, he feels safe in his assumption that Buck is off today because he’s sick and putting forth his best efforts to disguise this fact. Out in the field it was easy to attribute Buck’s pace to the amount of work the team had to put into their calls but now, with everyone finally able to unwind and catch their breath, Buck still looks put out.

“Buck, you’re really hot,” Chimney says as Buck’s arm grazes his. Eddie purses his lips, his suspicion confirmed easily.

Buck flashes a smile and a wink. “Tell me something I don’t know. But I don’t think Maddie would take it well to know you’re hitting on her brother.”

Chim smacks his hand against his forehead and shakes his head.

“You’re no match for your sister, I can tell you that right now, but that’s not what I meant. Seriously, don’t you feel warm?”

Buck shakes his head. “No. It’s actually kind of cold in here, isn’t it?”

Hen pushes back from the table across from him, putting a hand over her mouth and nose.

“Nope, you’ve got to go. Cap, this bug is making the rounds quick. I swear half of Denny’s class is out with it.”

Bobby rises from his seat and walks over to Buck, placing a hand on his forehead. Buck looks like a grumpy child as his bottom lip pokes out slightly.

“Jeez, Buck. You’re like a furnace. I’m afraid I have to send you home.”

“But, Cap!” Buck tries to protest but Bobby shakes his head and holds up a hand to stop any more objections.

“That’s an order. And here are some more for you: drink lots of fluids, get in bed, and stay there. Be sure to get a ton of rest until this fever breaks. I know you want to stay on and help but you’re going to sideline the whole team if we don’t do this. Sorry, Buck.”

Buck sighs defeatedly and pushes back in his seat, rising to his feet. The crew murmurs their get well soon wishes to Buck as he heads toward the stairs and Eddie’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach knowing how and why Buck is sick in the first place. He rises from his seat, quickly wiping at his mouth with a napkin before following him to the locker room.

Eddie stays quiet at the door as Buck gets his locker open and takes out his bag.

“So much for Buckleys don’t get sick, huh?” Buck says with a sigh, sitting down on the bench.

Eddie steps further into the room and sits beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. He’s surprised when Buck’s hand comes to rest over his. Buck’s hand is warm and Eddie relishes in his touch but too soon, the feeling is gone; Buck quickly lets go and clears his throat, shifting his attention to his bag. Eddie’s hand falls limply into his lap.

“This one’s on me. I’ll stop by after work and check on you, okay?” he ventures.

“You don’t have to. I’ll be alright.”

“Maybe so but I’d feel a hell of a lot better seeing that for myself. I can drop you home now, if you want. I’m sure Bobby would let me run off for a bit.”

Buck smiles softly and shakes his head. “You’re a good friend, Eddie, but I can manage the trip home. I promise I’ll follow Dr. Nash’s orders to the letter. I’ll be back on my feet in no time, just you wait and see.”

~*~*~

It’s been two days and Buck’s fever has been making its presence known; it’s Chris’ symptoms all over again but Eddie is ready for it, already having placed a call to his grandmother for even more of her miracle soup. Eddie’s been anxious at work, keeping his phone within reach at all times just waiting to get replies from Buck when he checks in. Some messages are more coherent than others but overall it seems as if Buck is hanging in there as much as can be expected.

Eddie’s certain that what his friend needs now is his grandmother’s home-cooking to really send Buck’s ailment packing. It’s to her house he heads straight to after his shift, his thoughts resting heavily on Buck’s recovery.

“Abuela?” Eddie calls out as he locks back the front door of her home.

“In here!”

Eddie follows her voice to the kitchen where he finds his grandmother ladling her soup into Tupperware, the remnants of vegetables and spices on the counter.

He greets her with a kiss on each cheek, taking a set back so she can continue filling the container she’s halfway done with.

“Thanks for doing this...again,” he muses. “One day I swear I’ll learn how to make this stuff.”

She gives him a doubtful look but smiles. “I don’t mind making it for you and your boys.”

Eddie eyes her for a moment, taking note of the implication of her wording. Unsure of how or even if he should call attention to it, Eddie switches gears a bit.

“I’m sure Buck is going to appreciate it. This soup was practically magic for Chris. Buck is chomping at the bit to get back to the station. This is just the thing to get him there again soon.”

His grandmother sets the ladle down and secures the lid on the container, double checking that it’s properly sealed.

“And I’m sure you’re eager for him to get back, too.”

Eddie is brought up short by this, his brows furrowing in thought. Isabel Diaz is as formidable a woman as ever and is always far too good at reading things that weren’t spoken with Eddie. In a case like this, it only makes him feel on edge rather than comforted.

“What are you getting at?”

Isabel shrugs her shoulders but despite how nonchalant the gesture is, Eddie knows there must be more to her thoughts than she’s letting on just then.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Buck is your best friend, no? I would think it’d make sense that you’d want your partner back.”

Eddie can feel heat rising in his face and quickly turns to the pantry, opening the door to it and taking a tote bag off one of the shelves, taking advantage of the brief moment of reprieve to pull himself together.

Eddie returns to her side and begins packing away the various containers. His grandmother is nothing if not efficient and thorough. These batches will be enough to get Buck through the week.

Eddie stays quiet while he works but just as he’s putting away the last container, she places a hand on his arm, stilling him.

He turns his head slightly to look at her, not quite meeting her eye. She takes it as the invitation it is to say whatever is on her mind.

“He’s lucky to have a friend like you,” she says softly, as if in thought.

“I’m the lucky one here, believe me. Buck’s always a huge help. At work, around the house, with Chris. This is the least I could do.”

It’s only then that Eddie looks at his grandmother fully and the knowing smile on her face is so comforting that Eddie feels the tension in his body melt away.

“People like that are hard to find in life. Be sure to hold on the good ones for however long you can.”

~*~*~

Visits to Buck’s after work have become the norm all week and with each trip, Eddie feels more assured that Buck will be better in no time. Today’s check in brings on a sense of déjà vu. In Buck’s living room now is a replica of the fort he and Chris constructed at Eddie’s place a week and a half prior.

“What’s your obsession with forts anyway?” he asks as he climbs inside, surrounded by plush pillows and blankets.

“Maddie used to make them for me all the time when I was little,” Buck says. “Building one with Chris has me kinda nostalgic, I guess.”

Eddie smiles to himself at the mental image of Buck as a kid. It isn’t too hard to picture what he must have looked like back then as he looks at him now, a blanket draped over his head and shoulders sitting cross-legged in front of the laptop, a movie already playing.

“What are you watching?” Eddie asks, settling in.

“Love Actually.”

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “I didn’t take you for a romcom lover but I guess that somehow makes sense now that I think about it.”

“What’s not to love about them? The build up, the will-they-won’t-they but you know they totally will, the big sweeping declaration at the end? That’s what everyone roots for. Who doesn’t like seeing people in love live happily ever after? It’s the dream,” Buck concludes.

Eddie doesn’t argue the point. How could he possibly when that’s all he’s been hoping to have himself?

“That’s really your dream?” he asks tentatively.

Buck shrugs. “I definitely wouldn’t say no if it were to happen. But in order for all of that, someone would actually have to fall head over heels for me,” he laughs wryly.

“You make it sound like such an impossibility. Like you’re somehow difficult to love.”

Buck’s head tilts to the side a bit. “You don’t think that I am?”

It’s such a loaded question, a dangerous one really but still, the words fall effortlessly from Eddie’s lips as he replies.

“I would think that falling for you is one of the easiest things a person could do.”

Eddie realizes this conversation is veering off course and Buck probably isn’t thinking very clearly given the state of things. For all Eddie knows, Buck is hopped up on cold medicine and doesn’t realize he’s asking leading questions. Eddie falls silent then, laying back and staring up the blanket overhead as the movie continues to play on screen. The seconds stretch tauntingly and Eddie knows he’s said too much, gone too far over the line they’ve been treating as a tightrope.

He hears the tap of the keyboard and the movie pauses. Eddie keeps his eyes trained above him, hoping they can avoid delving deeper into this. But he’s kicked open the gate, ushered in this line of conversation he’s been terrified to have.

“Eddie, I—,” Buck starts but Eddie isn’t so sure he wants, or is even ready, to hear what Buck has to say in response.

“You should get some sleep.”

“But I want to talk to you. I missed you today. I always miss you when you’re away.”

Eddie freezes, unsure of if this an open statement Buck would be making if he wasn’t sick or possibly feeling awkward given Eddie’s last comment but he’d be lying to himself if he said it isn’t something that makes his chest warm right in the center.

“I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere all night,” he assures.

“All night? What about Chris?”

“He’s probably on his way to a sugar coma at my grandmother’s right about now. She’s baking tonight and Chris, of course, volunteered to help. I know he’s just in for the leftover frosting and taste testing.”

This seems to be a good enough distraction. Buck laughs softly and grows quiet, pressing the laptop again and Eddie is certain he’s never been more grateful to hear a bunch of British people in conversation with each other. He opts to just listen to rather than watch the movie; his focus is completely shot.

After a few minutes, Buck sighs and burrows in against Eddie’s side. Instinctively Eddie wraps an arm around his friend. Before he can undo it or reprimand himself for getting too familiar with Buck, the man buries his face against the side of Eddie’s neck.

He’s all too aware of each breath Buck takes, his skin tickling with every exhale. There’s nothing casual or platonic about this and Eddie’s heart aches so painfully in his chest that it takes every ounce of willpower he has to keep breathing. But still, before he can allow himself to truly accept what Buck getting this close to him means, he needs to hear it from the man himself.

“Buck?”

“You didn’t give me a chance to say anything before so I figured I’d show you where my head and heart are instead.”

Eddie sits up slowly, Buck moving with him. Eddie takes in his expression and sees a real clarity in Buck’s eyes that leaves no room for uncertainty that he’s serious. Eddie has spent so long feeling terrified of being presented with this moment but he takes comfort in realizing this isn’t one-sided like he’s feared.

“Is this the part with the big sweeping declaration?” he jokes lamely to work out his nerves.

“I sure hope so. That tends to always be the best part.”

“You’re a lot better at this than me,” he says, rubbing his palm against the front of his jeans.

“To be fair, I watch a lot of romantic comedies in my downtime.”

Eddie can’t help but to laugh at this, grateful for the levity Buck brings to this moment. He cups the man’s cheek and strokes his face lightly with his thumb as he stares into his eyes.

“I’ve never been too good with this sort of stuff but you make me want to figure out a way how to be. Maybe in time I’ll be able to get the words out but, if nothing else, just know that I feel a lot for you, Buck. With you, I feel everything.”

Eddie leans forward and kisses Buck’s forehead, his eyes drifting closed as he lingers for a moment. Buck sighs contentedly, one hand settling on Eddie’s knee. Eddie pulls away then, resting his forehead against Buck’s, his fingers carding gently through his hair at the back of his head. Buck bumps his nose softly to Eddie’s who smiles at the move.

“Crap, sorry,” Buck says, pulling away. “What if you get sick next?”

“I survived Chris’ fever. I think I’ll be fine with yours too. If not, then I’ll just have to commission Abuela to make more soup,” he laughs. “Speaking of which, I should get some for you. Or tea or—”

“No,” Buck interjects, holding on to his wrist gently, keeping him in place. “Please, just...stay here for a little while longer with me?”

Eddie looks at him, takes in that soft pleading look and nods. “Whatever you want.”

Buck smiles at this and lays down on his side. Eddie doesn’t hesitate in spooning him, his arm securing snugly across Buck’s hip. His face burrows in the crook of the man’s neck, chin propped against his shoulder.

“Now will you get some sleep?” he asks quietly.

Buck laughs, light and carefree. “I don’t see how I can be expected to now after all of this,” he replies just as quietly, playing with Eddie’s fingers.

“This feels like Christmas morning as a kid. All that excitement, wondering what’s in store. No,” he continues, shaking his head. “ I couldn’t possibly sleep now. I don’t want to miss a second of what comes next.”

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libraryofloveletters · 3 years

Text

Promise of Pancakes

Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz

Warnings: just some team teasing

Category: fluff

Word Count: 1.4k

Author’s Note: this is a continuation of the blurb I wrote for drey during my shorts for 1.5K so here’s another buddie fic and drey, this ones for you babe :) <3 @suburban--gothic

----

A 24 hour shift and no sleep was a normal occurrence at station 118 but it sure as hell wasn’t not fun. It was around 3am and the last reruns of survivor had just finished, leaving Buck and Eddie with nothing to do.

“Maybe we should get some sleep ? Just before the next call ?” Eddie looks towards the blonde man who was mid yawn “yeah, that sounds good” and with that, they head towards the bunks.

They had a few extra guys from B shift with them so the bunks were a bit more full than normal, the two men looked around for two empty beds but there was only one.

Eddie takes a seat on the edge, Buck looking at him with brows furrowed, “uh- I’ll- I’ll sleep on the couch, it’s cool” he turns and heads towards the door when Eddie calls his name.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I can’t let you sleep on the couch” Eddie looks at his friend as he makes himself comfortable in the bed. Buck’s brows furrow once again- he could feel the lines developing on his forehead, Eddie patted the space beside, his head tilted with a small smile on his face.

“C’mon, the couch isn't comfortable” he says, scooting over to make space for Buck- the beds weren’t small but they weren't exactly big. Buck nor Eddie weren’t the smallest guys either, they were both rather beefy to put it in a not so technical term.

Buck walked back towards his friend, looking at him for reassurance once more, “are you sure ?” he asks, Eddie nods before Buck sits beside him on the bed, their bodies pressed against each other.

It’s not like they hadn't slept beside each other before. They’ve done it so many times, intentional and unintentionally.

The first time was after they had taken Christoper to the zoo together, Chris was knocked out in bed and Eddie was in his bedroom. Buck had come in after checking on Chris, sitting on the bed and talking to Eddie while he changed. The men were just talking and fell asleep beside each other. It wasn't awkward, they woke up the next day and moved on like it was the most normal thing in the world because it was.

Ever since that day, the two of them often slept in the same bed when staying at each other’s place. They kept each other company, laughed and talked, they cuddled too but if you mentioned that- they’d both deny it.

“Are you comfortable?” Eddie says quietly, as the two men lay stiff as a board beside each other, it was uncomfortable because there was barely any space.

“Are you?” Buck turns towards his friend, now on his side and looking at him.

“Okay, uh- hold on” Eddie rolled on his side, facing away from Buck. “Better?” he whispers, settling into the mattress. Buck hums, now too tired to answer him as he pulls the blanket over the two of them.

Buck hadn't realized how tired he was until he got into the bed and although the bed was small, he would sleep much better there than he would have on the couch. Buck’s arm slung over Eddie’s waist, something so normal to them yet it would seem so intimate to a passing person.

Eddie’s hand finds Buck’s, hands now holding each other as Eddie’s thumb caressing the top of Buck’s hand softly. He could now hear Buck’s steady breathing, telling him that he was asleep. Eddie leant back slightly against Buck’s chest, Buck relaxed and settled into the bed, his arm tightening around his waist, the two men drifting peacefully into sleep.

---

A full night’s sleep was a rare occurrence at the station, especially during the summer- there were always idiots somewhere doing something stupid.

The flash of a light woke Buck. He woke up confused and unsure as to where or what time it was. The two of them still in the position they had fallen asleep in, Eddie’s back pressed to Buck’s chest.

Buck rolls onto his back with his eyes closed, Eddie moves too, trying to find the body he was just pressed against. His shoulder resting on top of Buck and Eddie again, shifts in his sleep. His head now on Buck’s chest, he settles again.

Another flash of light caused Buck to open his eyes. Hen, Chimney and Bobby all standing at the end of the bed watching them. Hen had her phone on her face, smiling at a sleepy Buck.

“What are you guys doing?” he whispers, they all looked like they had been awake for a while.

“We were making breakfast, Bobby said to let you two lovebirds sleep in.” Chim informs him, earning him a playful smack to the arm from Cap. “I never said love birds.”

“What time is it?” Buck goes to sit up but notices Eddie on his chest and how peaceful he looks- he lays back down.

“A little after 9,” Hen says, sitting on the bed across from them. Eddie stirs in his sleep, Buck’s hand instinctively comes up to his back, rubbing it softly. Bobby and Chimney exchange glances, Chim looking over his shoulder at Hen who just hums with a smile on her face. Buck may have just woken up but he knows those looks and that hum meant something.

“What ?” he looks at his team, Hen is the one who speaks up. “The two of you look like a couple”

“But we aren’t-” “are you sure about that ?” Buck starts but is cut off by Bobby. “Buck, the two of you spend every minute at work together and outside of work too, you're helping him raise Christoper- you’re no less of a couple than Athena and I or Hen and Karen, even Maddie and Chimney.”

Bobby’s words hit Buck, he glances down at the man who was still peacefully sleeping on top of him. Bobby was right- they spent every waking minute together and they were still together even if they weren't awake.

Friends don't do that- lovers do.

“Breakfast is gonna get cold, wake him up and meet us out there” the 3 of them step out, leaving Buck in bed with Eddie.

He couldn't help but watch Eddie for a few moments, the way his expression softened, how at peace he looked.

It was different from the Eddie everyone else saw- there was something raw to it, like there was a whole other side to Eddie that no one else knew and got to see except for Buck.

He wishes he could stay in bed forever but the alarm was bound to go off sooner or later and someone would come looking for them soon enough. Buck shook Eddie gently, “Eds, c’mon. We gotta get up.” he whispers, his fingers dragging up his back and to his hair. Eddie hums as Buck runs his fingers through his hair.

“Five more minutes” he mumbles, face still buried in his chest.

“Cap made pancakes” he says, Eddie now sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. There were 2 things that could get Eddie Diaz out of bed, the first thing was his son and the second was the promise of pancakes. Buck smiles, sitting up too and legs now over the side of the bed.

“What kind of pancakes ?” Eddie asked him, stretching as he got up. Buck’s eyes were glued to the section of Eddie’s stomach that was showing due to the raised shirt.

“Buck?” he calls again, he hums with his eyes still on Eddie.

Eddie’s arms lower, his shirt falls back into place and Buck’s eyes meet Eddie’s. “What kind of pancakes?” “oh, um- I don't know. Why don't you go check?” he smiles at him, Eddie humming as he steps out.

Buck drops back onto the bed and his hand runs over his face.

What the hell did he get himself into?

---

taglist: @mrs-dr-reid @dralexreid @yelenabelous @ickletheficklepickle

#buddie #buddie fic #buddie fanfiction #buddie fanfic #911 #911 fic #9-1-1 #9-1-1 fic #eddie diaz #evan buckley #evan buck buckley #edmundo diaz #eddie x buck #buck x eddie

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alexandrianicolegrey-oc · 2 years

Text

The Story of Us: Eddie and Alex

Chapter 4

“You do not have to do this alone. You have Jaxon, me and Chris, and the rest of 118.” -Eddie

Breakdown

TW: Mentions of mental health breakdown, stress, mentions of blood, nightmares

"Memories"

“Jaxon! Are you ready for school, buddy?” Alex called, pulling her LAFD 118 jacket on. She would shower at the station and change into her uniform after she dropped Jaxon off at school.

“Almost done, mom!” He called. Not a moment too soon, he wheeled himself into the living room. “Ready.” He had his backpack slung over his wheelchair.

“Are you excited for your first day of 4th grade?” Alex asked her son. He was growing too fast on her. Every day, he reminded her of his father. She missed him so much. There wasn’t a night that went by, that she didn’t cry for him. She was stressed at work. From all the long hours and sleepless nights, to her missing Tyler, it was all taking a toll on her mental health.

"Yeah! I can't wait to see my friends again. And Chris too." He smiled at his mother. Alex gave him a small smile.

A few minutes later,

Alex got Jaxon loaded up and took him to school. She gave him a hug, and she watched him wheel himself into the school. She then headed off to work. When she parked, she locked her doors after getting out. She was greeted by Hen and Ravi. "Morning, guys." She waved at everyone, as she headed for the showers.

After Alex was done, she was met by Eddie as soon as she came out, wearing her uniform and had her wet hair pulled into a pony tail. "Hey, Eddie what's up?" Alex gave him a small smile.

"Hey, is everything okay with Jaxon?" Eddie asked her, walking beside her to the lockers. He was concerned and worried about her. The whole crew was worried about her.

Alex sighed. "Yeah, everything is fine with Jaxon."

"I smell a but somewhere." He raised a brow.

"Jaxon reminds of his father everyday. And it pushes me to work harder and to keep him safe. I wake up from dreams of Tyler, and-" She sat down, and took a deep, shaky breath. A tear slid down her cheek.

Eddie sat beside her. "Hey, what's going on? You can talk to me."

"I miss him so much, and the dreams I have are always the same. Ever since I saw his lifeless body crushed under his truck, and all of his blood, it's getting to be too much, especially since the last call we had, where that little girl lost her father because of a drunk driver who decided to drink and get behind the wheel, not caring about other people's lives. And to top it off, all the hours that I've been working lately." She broke down into tears, crying.

Eddie pulled her softly against him, letting her cry it out. He saw Bobby, Hen, Ravi, and Buck all gathered around, watching and listening. Eddie shook his head at Bobby's lips. He understand what Bobby had asked.

"Hey, Alex, why don't you and Jaxon stay tonight with me and Chris?" Eddie suggested.

Alex sat up, wiping her face. "You want us too?"

Eddie nodded with a small smile. "Yeah, Chris wanted you both to stay the night anyways. It's all my kid talks about lately." Eddie chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess we will. It is a weekend anyways." She said softly. Eddie touched her face, wiping her tears away with his hand. "Come on, breakfast is ready." He offered his hand out to her.

She took it, and followed Eddie out of the locker rooms, and upstairs to the kitchen. She saw everyone looking her way. "You okay, Lexi?" Hen asked.

"Not really." She took a seat between Hen and Buck.

"It's just been rough the last few weeks. The last call we had, kinda hit close to home." Alex said softly.

"You don't have to do this alone, Alex. You have Jaxon, me and Chris, and the rest of the 118." Eddie told her, smiling softly. "We're your family now, and always will be."

"You can talk to any of us anytime you need to talk." Bobby added. "Which is why I'm giving you a week off to yourself after today's shift. We got someone coming in to cover your shift for the week."

"Are you sure, Cap? I mean, we're going to need all the help we can get this week. You all can manage without me for a week?" Alex let out small, shaky laugh. She took a few, small bites of her food.

"Yes, we can manage. You need to rest, Alex. We can all see how your mental health is getting to you." Bobby replied, eating his food.

"Yeah, it's not good on you. Or Jaxon. He needs you to be strong and rested." Hen smiled over at Alex.

"And just think, Tyler is watching over you and Jaxon as your guardian angel." Buck chimed in.

Alex smiled. "I know, sometimes I swear I can still smell his cologne in the room at night." She chuckled.

#the story of us #eddie and alex #eddie diaz #ryan guzman #911 on fox #fanfic

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cal-tries-to-write · 3 years

Text

Chris’s not so imaginary imaginary friend

A/n I know a lot of the firefighting stuff I say is extremely incorrect but for the sake of the story it needed to happen also to be in true 911 fashion. So I am sorry for anyone who can’t read this because of the in accuracy’s I feel for you I do. Also if your wondering why I picked the shows I did I just said whatever was playing in the background when I was writing. (Just a little fun fact I do that a lot)

“Has Chris ever mentioned a imaginary friend to you?”

Eddie turned his head from his son to the therapist next to him. “Why do you ask?”

“Ever since the tsunami Chris has been drawing pictures of himself and this person he calls Buck.” The therapist handed him a drawing, it was of a little boy with Chris written above him and he was holding someone’s hand. The person next to him was taller with blonde hair and blue eyes, he also had wings and what looked to be a crown on his head, above it written in black crayon ‘Buck’.

“No he’s never mentioned any imaginary friends or anyone named Buck either.”

“So he doesn’t know anyone with that name.”

“No.”

The therapist nodded.

“So I shouldn’t be worried?”

“As far as I can tell no. Though I do encourage you to talk to Chris about this Buck person and maybe find out more. That may help figure out who he is and why he showed up now.”

Eddie thanked the doctor as Christopher came out of the room and towards him. Telling him he was ready to go home.

Later that night when Eddie went to put Christopher to bed he saw him drawing again. The same person from the picture he had seen at the therapist’s office, except this time he was pointing to someone on a rescue boat.

“Hey,” Eddie leaned on the door frame, “what are you drawing?”

“Me and my friend Buck.” Chris put down the crayon to smile at his dad, “he saved me. Helped me find you.”

“Really? Can I meet him.”

“No.” He answered bluntly before going back to working on his drawing.

Eddie moved so he was now sitting next to Chris, “How come?”

“He’s shy. He’s also worried he’ll scare you.”

Eddie though for a moment before replying, “Well how bout you tell him that I’m not scared of anything and that there’s no need to be shy.”

A smile spread across Chris’s face as he looked up from his drawing, “Your scared of Santa.”

Eddie let out a small laugh, “Your Abeula told you that story.”

“Yeah.”

“Well I’m guessing she left out the part that i had the flu.”

“She said you say that to make it seem less worse.”

“Does she now? Well just for that,” Eddie stood up scooping Christopher up in his arms, “it’s time for bed.”

“Noooooo!” Chris turned into a ball of laughter as Eddie put him down on the bed and pulled the covers up tucking him in.

“Good night buddy.” He kissed the top of his sons head.

“Night dad. I love you!” Chris called as Eddie walked over to the door.

“I love you too.” And with that Eddie turned off the light and closed the door behind him.

Walking over to the couch Eddie sat down and turned on the tv absently scrolling through Netflix trying to find something to watch. Though his mind kept wandering to Chris’s imaginary friend. How come he did tell him sooner? Was he worried that he’d say that he was to old for imaginary friends? Did he talk to anyone else about Buck? Was this an actual person that he had met an was misremembering how he looked? Was it just someone who helped him and now he had become attached? Was Chris lonely? Realizing he was overthinking he finally redirected his focus to the tv, realizing that he had stopped scrolling in the middle of his over thinking. Netflix started playing the show that he apparent stopped on,Supernatural, he remembered Bobby talking about the show one time, apparently May really like it. She even went to comic con to meet the actors. Deciding he didn’t have anything better in mind he put the remote down and let the episode play.

Eddie groaned as he slowly opened his eyes trying to wake up. He looked around and saw he had passed out on the couch, there was a pillow under his head and a blanket over him yet he didn’t remember grabbing a pillow or blanket the night before. He was for once thankful that he had the second late shift because that meant he could spent time with Chris because it was the weekend and have some time to actually wake up before heading to work. He bolted up when he heard a crash come from behind him.

“Sorry.” He realized it was just Christopher who had dropped something on the ground.

“It’s alright,” Eddie walked fully into the kitchen now, “what are you doing?”

“When I woke up you were still asleep on the couch so I decided to make you breakfast.”

“You were? Well that very nice of you. How about I help you though?”

Chris looked at him and contemplated it for a brief moment, “ok.” He smiled picking up the bowl.

“Ok.” Eddie smiled back as he headed to the pantry to grab the ingredients they would need.

“Hey dad,” Chris had finished his pancakes and was now looking at Eddie who was still eating.

“Yeah,” Eddie put down his fork to look at his son.

“Did you know Buck has a sister?”

“I didn’t.” Eddie was glad that Chris at least seemed more comfortable talking about Buck now that he knew Eddie knew about him.

“He does. Her names Maddie she’s Chimney’s guardian angel.”

“I’m pretty sure Maddie is Chim’s girlfriend bud.”

“I know but she’s also an angel like Buck.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Eddie some how manages to be running late even with the fact that both Carla arrived early to pick up Chris and he managed to leave his house early himself. Damn LA traffic. When he finally did get to the firehouse his team already left on the first call of the shift. He knew he wouldn’t hear the end of this from Chimney, he’s been living in LA for almost two years and yet he still seemed to forget about midday traffic. Deciding the best thing to do would be start his chores and pray that that getting them done would at least help Bobby forgive him for being late he headed to the locker room to get changed.

“Eddie did you forget about traffic again?” Chimney walked up behind him slapping his back.

“No I actually left early.”

“Yet you were still late.”

Eddie shook his head ignoring Chimney’s remark and faced at Bobby, “I really am sorry about being late, I did get my chores done for the day though while you guys were at the call.”

“I’ll let it go this time because I’m pretty sure this is the first time you’ve been late since you started here. Just don’t let it happen again.”

“It won’t.”

The day was fairly slow after that, meaning everyone was just sitting around at the station. Bobby was baking, Hen was next to Eddie reading some medical textbook while Eddie was catching up on the news, and Chimney was playing pinball trying to beat the record Hen had set. The peace and quiet was suddenly interrupted by the bell going off signaling for an apartment fire.

When they arrived to the building other teams where already working on getting people out. Bobby headed straight to fire chief to find out what his team needed to do. She explained that stations 19 and 144 were clearing floors 1-10 so his team needed to clear floors 11-15.

Heading back to his team he relayed the information and assigned one floor for every three people so one truck could hold take two floors. Hen and Chimney were paired with another firefighter while Eddie was partnered with Lewis and Anderson, two paramedics that he knew somewhat well, which was a relief.

After clearing their floor, 13, Eddie, Lewis and Anderson heard Bobby called over the radio that everyone needed to get out, the building was going to collapse soon. As they walked down the hallway to the stairs Eddie swore he heard someone yelling but when he asked the other two about it they said they didn’t hear anything. As they reached the stairs Eddie heard the yell once more and not being able to leave the building knowing that their might be someone calling for help he told Lewis and Anderson to go while he double checked the room he thought the yelling was coming from. They both gave him a look and said that the building wasn’t stable and they needed to get out. He reassured them he’d be right behind them.

As he entered to room he was reassured in the fact that someone was calling out. He walked through the living room calling out to them trying to get another response. After clearing the living room and kitchen he headed to the two bedrooms. Grabbing the door frame to the master bedroom he felt the building shake, he was running out of time. He then saw something move in the corner of the room. He called out one final time and finally got a response a weak one but a response none the less. It was a little kid no older than 7 curled under the bed looking terrified.

“Hey, I’m here to help.” He walked over and knelt down, “Can you come out. Then we can get out of here together.”

The kid slowly crawled out from the bed and grabbed Eddies hand. As soon as he was out Eddie picked him up and ran out of the room, out of the apartment and into the hall, knowing he was going to be out of time soon. As he was halfway down the hall he felt the building shake and the floor give out beneath him. He held the kid closer, closed his eyes and waited for the impact of hitting the floor beneath them, but it never came. Instead when he opened his eyes he was outside the building. He was in the alley next to fire escape. Slowly he set the kid down try to process what had just happened, he looked around thinking maybe he passed out when he hit the floor and someone dragged him to the fire escape? But then someone would have been around. He shook his head, what had just happened he could try to figure out later right now he needed to get the boy to Chim and Hen so they could make sure he really was ok.

“Hey buddy,” He took off his helmet and mask so he could talk easier, “you alright? Can you walk?”

“I think so?” The kid mumbled looked confused himself.

“Alright follow me. I’ll take you to the ambulance where my friends can check you out and make sure you’re not hurt.” He took the boys hand once more and lead him out of the alley where he saw his team looking at the building collapsing in on itself.

“Hen! Chimney! I got a kid I need to to check out.” He called waving to get their attention. As soon as their heads turned they, and Bobby, started running over.

It was 4pm by the time he got home which wasn’t late which wasn’t late enough for him to just go to bed even though he was beyond tired. Even though he just got off a 24 hour shift he really didn’t feel like messing up his sleep schedule more than it already was. Instead he compromised with sitting down and relaxing that way he didn’t have to do anything but would still sleep tonight. The only downside was Christopher was hanging out with his aunt meaning that if he did fall asleep no one would wake him up. But he could stay awake so that wasn’t a problem, pulled up Disney+ this time and put on the Simpsons, not really paying attention he drifted off to sleep half and hour later.

Once again he was awoken by the noise of something crashing this time it sounded like multiple cookie trays had been dropped, the loud noise was followed by a quiet “shit!” It’s takes Eddie a moment to realize that he’s supposed to be home alone and the second he does remember he’s up off the couch and quietly walking towards the kitchen trying to see who or what made the noise. As he gets a clear view of the kitchen he sees a man with dark blonde hair mumbling to himself holding a recipe book. Normally Eddie would be confronting the man asking what he’s doing in his house, or he’d be moving to make the better move, calling the police. Yet he just stands there frozen because from where he’s standing it looks like the man has soft barely blue wings and a glowing golden halo around his head. Eddie just froze, he finally shook his head and rubbed his eyes but nothing he did changed what he saw.

“Kära gud,” Eddie breaths out, he realizes he said that aloud when the man turns around and drops the book as his wings flair up. Eddies first thought is he looks like a big chicken ready to fight. When Eddie looks from the mans wings to his eyes he’s meet with the beautiful blue eyes it hits Eddie who this person in his kitchen looked exactly like,“Buck?”

A/n that last thing Eddie says is Dear god in Swedish and it was Spanish but I changed it because I saw a post about him also muttering under his breath in Swedish.

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anninhiliation · 4 years

Text

By The Pine Tree

Masterlist

*Disclaimer: This is my original writing, and you have no permission or right to copy. Don’t be a dick and ruin it for everyone else. Just share the god damn link. DO NOT repost and credit my account and call it a day. I do not consent to it. I DO NOT consent to you copying my work, changing the boy, and claiming it as yours. Some of you Wattpad users are out of line. Take it down.

A/N: Idk but don’t tell my therapist lol

Wordcount: like 3k oops

Warnings: mentions of drugs and alc. Unprotected sex. wrap it before you tap it.

It was a warm summer night, surrounded by your mutual friends with your boyfriend, Christopher. Beer in one hand, and the other holding onto Chris as you both floated around on an orange popsicle pool float. His chest pressed against the plastic, tattooed back facing the night sky as your body submerged in the water. Your legs intertwined with his as he gently fluttered his legs, making the float lazily move around the pool. You could feel the water move around every cell of your body as time slowed down. You both smoked some medical marijuana, a friend of yours copped off their dealer earlier. It was better than anything you’ve ever smoked, and you even took big hits that immediately sent you on a happy cloud. You were in your own little world, watching a droplet of water travel from Chris’s shoulder down his bicep and rest on his triangle tattoo. Your mind wandered off, slowly scanning every tattoo shine with the droplets of water. Eyes were looking over to his bracelet, then finally resting on his hands. You studied his porcelain skin glistening with the light of the pool and the glow sticks. The cement floor lit up in green, yellow, orange, blue, and red glow sticks that were scattered around.

Chris was on his own little planet, studying your face zone out. You looked so sexy to him in your tiny bikini, not leaving much to the imagination, yet your face portrayed an innocent look, the contrast riling him up. Blood rushed to his cock as his eyes trailed down, watching the clear water create little waves, making your breasts glisten. You watched his arm move out of your sight, just to feel it against your skin. Your breathing hitched as you felt both his hands wrap around you and lift you slightly up. Your breasts were pushed against the orange plastic, as your legs parted unclinging from Chris. You dropped your beer can, only for it to float away with his.

“Chris,” you pouted as you watched the beer float further away from you.

“Nena mírame." He demanded, his demeanor going straight between your legs.

You looked up at him innocently, meeting his black lustful eyes. He needed you, he wanted you right there and then. You recognized the look plastered on his face. That same look, he’s given you countless times when he has you in the clouds.

"Princesa no me podes mirar así y expectar que hago nada." He growled as he toyed with your bikini top.

His actions made you blush as your breathing caught in your throat. You wanted and needed him just as much as he did. His fingers lit your skin on fire, making your walls clench around nothing. You closed your legs, squeezing your thighs together hoping to relieve the ache he was causing.

"Chris," you whined as you felt his fingers slowly trail down your side making you squirm.

His other arm wrapped around your back, keeping you close as his lips pampered your neck in kisses. He took his time with every inch of your warm, delicate flesh exposed to him. Chris made his way to your weakest spot, making you gasp out, as your fingers dug into his flesh.

“Chris- what if someone sees?” you whined out as you tilted your head, giving him more access.

His fingers toyed with your bottoms as his lips slowly moved down to your breasts. He pushed the fabric covering one of your breasts to the side and encircled your hardened nipple. Your back arched as you moaned out into the crook of his neck.

"You're really worried?” he smirked as he pulled away, making you pout and whine out.

Even in the moments when he wanted to devour you, he couldn't help but tease you.

His dark brown eyes bore into your soul as he said, “no one is watching us hermosa. Look around."

You scanned around the area, and he had a point. Two of your friends were deep on their acid trip project, the others not even glancing at the two of you. Everyone was scattered drunkenly around the backyard, playing beer pong, or just falling over themselves. Some were in the pool, but too engrossed in their own conversations to even care about what the two of you were doing.

"Dale princesa," he growled lowly as he licked the shell of your ear "you really think anyone would notice what we're doing?"

He pushed the fabric covering your slit to the side and teased your folds.

“Fuck nena; you’re soaked. I think you would like getting caught.” Chris groaned to you in a voice low enough only you could hear.

The tips of his fingers toyed with your clit as you whined out in the crook of his neck. You marked him in a little purple-red cloud at the base of his neck as your dominant hand reached up and tugged on his chocolate locks.

“So filthy preciosa,” Chris taunted “and I thought you were worried someone would see how naughty you really are”.

“Chris,” you squirmed your hips, grinding down on his fingers, “don’t tease.”

He playfully chuckled as he exposed your other breast and swirled his tongue around your hardened bud. Two of his digits slid inside you and pumped curling his fingers at your weakest spot. Your nails dug into his shoulder blades as you bit down on his shoulder, muffling your moans.

“Fuck hermosa” he groaned as this thumb rubbed figure eights on your clit

Your eyes rolled back as he switched nipples, tugging harshly.

“Christopher,” you mewled.

Your walls fluttered around him as breathing grew harder and harder. It was exciting to you, being so exposed in such a public area. The risk being the highest it's ever been, only giving you more adrenaline. Chris pampered your neck in hungry kisses, focusing on your weaker points. Chris’s main goal was get you to cum quickly so he could get you somewhere private right after. He added more force on your g-spot with every thrust of his fingers. Your knot only grew tighter and tighter with every movement.

“Such a naughty girl preciosa” he grinned.

Chris continued pumping his fingers, feeling your walls clench him harder and harder.

“Chris” you whined into his neck.

He knew you didn't have a lot left, and eventually made you fall over the edge. Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull as your body squirmed under Chris’s grip. He rode you out, maintaining an even pace as your walls squeezed him tightly. He kept you in the clouds for as long as he could. As you came down from your climax, you rested your head on his shoulder, panting as Chris covered you back up.

“You tired already?” he grinned as he moved his head to peck your lips “We’re not done yet, amor.”

You looked up at him with lust-filled eyes as you matched his grin.

“We’re not papi?” you asked innocently, knowing precisely what it did to him.

“No princesa” He smirked as he fluttered his feet, moving the float out of the deep end.

Your feet touched the pool’s floor as the popsicle float made it to the shallow end.

“Where we going?” you grinned, recognizing the look in his eye.

“No te preocupes amor I know a place," he said.

Chris slid off the popsicle and quickly pressed his chest against your back. His hands wrapped around your hips, with his fingers slightly digging into your flesh. He ushered you out of the pool as swiftly as possible, desperate to get you alone. You could feel his hard member press against your ass, causing you to clench around nothing.

“Chris,” you quietly whined out.

He brought you to the corner of the yard behind a large pine tree. Your legs were weak with anticipation, as a new wave of arousal drenched your folds. As more trees and bushes covered the two of you from any potential eyes, Chris began marking your neck. You leaned into his chest and tugged on his hair, enjoying the pleasure. His hand grabbed your breast, kneading the soft flesh as the other slid down under your bottoms. Fingers were parting your folds as he drew delicate circles on your swollen clit.

"Fuck nena" he groaned hearing you moan out for him

His cock throbbed as he felt how wet you were. Teasing your clit a little more, and hearing you beg had him losing his patience. Chris abruptly pulled out of you and spun you around. You grabbed his fingers, inserting them in your mouth, tasting yourself.

“I taste good papi,” you purred as your tongue swirled around the pads of his fingers.

His black orbs observed your movements as he clenched his jaw. Before you could even process what happened, the grass wrapped around your body, like a soft cushion as Chris kissed your sweet lips.

“You do princesa,” he growled in lustful hunger.

As your lips connected, your hands went straight for his dark locks. You tugged harshly, pulling a delightful moan out of him as your lips moved in sync. The kiss was filled with pure lust and a primal hunger for one another as he dominated it. Your hips bucked up, as your swollen clit beat violently begging for friction.

“Chris,” you whined out as you grinded into his clothed bulge.

He let out boyish moans at your actions, dying just to rip off your bottoms and be inside you.

“Fuck” he created a trail of soft kisses as he grabbed your neck, tilting your head to give himself more room.

You held his wrist, keeping him in place as your other arm flailed around. Chris grabbed your bottoms as he marked the weakest point on your neck and exposed your slit. The wet fabric quickly skimmed your skin before being thrown to the side. Chris pulled down his shorts, letting his cock hit his lower abdomen. He pumped his shaft, making you whine out and pout as your walls tightened around nothing.

“What?” Chris taunted as he watched your eyes glued to his hand movements.

“Chris,” you mewled “fuck me- hace algo. Papi, please.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” he smirked, as the head of his penis slid into you.

You moaned out contently as your walls wrapped around him inch by inch. He slowly moved his hips, waiting for you to adjust, which didn’t take long as his fingers already prepped you.

"Chris," you whined again, "coge me, dale."

”So needy hermosa,” he teased as he roughly grabbed your leg, throwing it over his shoulder.

He put more force in every thrust sending you straight into the stars. Your fingers dug into his arms, leaving little red trails as you cried out his name. It was music to his ears hearing you sing his name in such delight. His torso pushed your leg closer to your body as he pulled on your top, exposing your breasts. His lips latched on to your soft flesh marking where he pleased. Your hands grabbed onto his hair, tugging uncontrollably as your back arched off the ground. As the pleasure increased and you floated higher into the clouds, your moans grew louder. It was a little too loud for his liking in such a public area. His hand wrapped around your lips, muffling out your noises.

“Princesa, not too loud,” Chris grunted.

You nodded your head yes as your eyes rolled to the back of your skull. The pleasure was too much for you to hold back your moans, and he knew it.

"Fuck" he groaned as he pulled out of you, flipping you over.

He grabbed your hips and rammed back inside you at full force.

"Chris!" You moaned, muffling it out on your arm.

You bit down on your arm as his tip hit your g-spot at a steady pace. Eyes rolling to the back of your skull as the pleasure increased. His fingers skimmed your swollen clit, making you clench around him. Chris drew your favorite pattern, sending you deeper into the stars. Boyish moans and grunts left Chris’s lips as your velvet walls hugged him tightly. The way you wrapped around him, Chris knew you were getting closer and closer.

“Fuck nena, how do you stay so tight” he groaned.

Your toes curled as one arm reached out and clenched the grass. The waves of pleasure being sent straight to your core with every thrust made it impossible for you to produce anything coherent. Your torso laid flat on the grass, as your muscles gave in to the feeling. The force of Chris’s hips slamming into your ass made your body move back and forth on the ground. The familiar knot twisted and turned inside you. Chris’s hands dug deeper into your hips as your thighs violently shook. Your walls closed in around Chris’s shaft, as the knot tightened until it snapped. Juices flew out of you, coating Chris's cock and base, some drops falling to the ground. You were on a cloud as the pleasure pulsated through you. Chris was right behind you, as he tried to keep you floating. His shaft twitching inside you with every sloppy thrust. He throbbed until his balls were too swollen up in cum. With one last harsh and messy thrust, Chris buried himself as deep inside you as he could. White strands of his seed shot inside you, filling you up. Your name leaving his lips, mixed in with a string of Spanish curses. You both panted as he slowly pulled out of you. A whine left you, as you missed the feeling of him inside you. The cum he left inside you, gently dripping out of your warm velvet walls. Chris flipped you over once again and toyed with your cum-soaked slit. Taking the excess cum, and collecting it with his two digits, Chris fed you. The sweet and salty juices had you moaning for more and whining for more of his attention.

“That tastes good hermosa?” he smirked, watching you hollow your cheeks as you buried his fingers.

You nodded your head yes as you began to squirm around. With every collection of the mixed juices, his fingers teased your clit. More of your arousal pushed out his seed, causing the mixture to lose more of its flavor.

"Chris," you whined as you sucked on his fingers for the fifth time.

Your hole throbbed as Chris's fingers stayed on your clit, drawing figure eights. He pulled out his fingers and wrapped his hand around your inner thigh. His thumb gently running back and forth on your sensitive skin.

"¿Nesistas algo preciosa?" He grinned as he watched your face contour in pleasure.

"Don't tease," you pouted as you bucked your hips.

He pulled out his fingers, sucking them clean, and moaned, “you do taste good, nena.”

His head lowered as his other hand rested on your inner thigh. His warm breath fanned your slit as your hands intertwined with his locks.

"Que dulce hermosa," Chris groaned after giving your soaked slit a kitten lick.

His tongue ran up your slit again, then teased your folds. Your back arched as your thighs wiggled in his grip. Chris slurped your juices and tugged on your clit, sending you back into the clouds. You could feel him pull out the rest of the load you had yet to push out. He let go of your thighs to squeeze your breasts. His fingers rolled your hardened nipples and tugged. Your legs closed in around Chris’s head, squeezing him with your thighs.

“Chris!” you cried out as the pleasure overwhelmed you.

His fingers slid down your body, as you thrashed around. Your toes were curling with all your might as your breathing hitched, sticking to your throat. Two of his fingers slipped inside you, curling at your weakest spot. You weren’t going to last long and you both knew it. Your walls clenching around his fingers as another knot tied up inside you. Chris groaned as you tugged harder on his hair. The vibrations sending strong waves of pleasure to your core, making your moan out. The knot inside you pulsated and shook as Chris tugged on your swollen pearl one last time. You squirted out again, as you were sent skyrocketing back into space. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you slipped into your sweet state of ecstasy. He tried his best collecting all of your juices, groaning at the drops that slipped away. His fingers slowed down after you reached your climax, gently bringing you back down to earth.

“You were so good princesa” Chris grinned as he pulled out of you, hovering his fingers over your bottom lip.

You cleaned him up, moaning contently as you tasted your sweet juices. He pecked your soft lips after, giving you one last taste before he fixed his shorts and searched for your bottoms.

“Why don’t we get out of here so I can taste you properly papi?” you purred as you fixed your top.

“Dale” he smirked as he found your other piece of the bikini and gave it back to you.

You guys fixed yourselves up, trying to look as normal as possible and collected the rest of your things. Grabbing a towel you wrapped yourself around it, covering up most of the marks. You hugged your friends goodbye and rushed into Chris’s car, and sped straight home.

#chris velez #cnco #cnco smut #christopher velez #chris #christopher #fic #imagine #christopher velez fic #christopher velez imagine

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tara-the-quiet-bookworm-2016 · 3 years

Text

Fight Me, Bite Me Silas (RK900 x Gavin Reed) (Chapter Six)

Authors Notes- And here I am back with Chapter 6 of FMBM. We’re past the half way point it seems and far from done. Now as you can gather I like to make note of my Triggers warning in the AN. So this chapter will feature a whole lot of angst, as well as torture and bloodshed and mentions of abuse. If none of this is your cup of tea then this is where we part ways. But if not then here is Chapter 6 I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Six: Quiet Moments

The silence was unbearable. Silas mused as he sat in the waiting room of the hospital. All around him sat families of other patients, all off in their own thoughts, not a single one paying the android much attention aside from the casual glance before going back to their own thing. How long had it been? A hour, two hours, three? For once in his life Silas was at a loss as to what he should do, no, that was wrong he knew his next task. He was to report back to Captain Fowler and report that their case was closed. And yet, here he was, hands clasped in front of him, eyes glued to the floor as time ticked away.

How could the Detective have been so careless? To chase after a suspected killer unarmed and without waiting for him, did he have a death wish? Or was Gavin so in his head that he was unable to think? Silas gritted his teeth, anger swelling in his chest as he replayed the scenario in his head over and over, the gunshot ringing through his head again and again and again. He hoped Gavin survived, he wasn’t done with him. He needed him to survive, he still had so much to learn about Gavin. Wanted to find out all his secrets, wanted to find everything about him until there was nothing left. Sure, he already knew the surface level stuff about Reed.

Silas knew that Gavin was, to most people, your average human male, single lived alone, no girlfriend or boyfriend. Hell, Silas was most certain that his only friend were Officers Chris Miller and Tina Chen along with a few others within the DPD precinct. Hell, in his somewhat invasive search through Gavin’s files he had found out that he lived a few blocks away from the precinct, and he owned cats?! Silas actually had to do a double take when he discovered that. He was so certain that a person like Gavin hated cats, and yet according to his facebook page he owned three..

But that was not all, Silas recalled, as he looked up from the floor as a doctor in scrubs walked past him. Silas’ eyes fixed on the aged man as he spoke quietly with a family sitting a few chairs away from him. His thirium pump lurching a middle aged woman with long blonde hair let out a hurling scream and seemed to collapse on herself as her family members. Who Silas could only assume were her children and parents moved to comfort the devastated woman. Saying nothing Silas got up from his seat and started to pace. His bottom lip between his teeth, biting down hard enough to break synthetic skin. As he dove deeper into Gavin’s life outside the DPD he had discovered he was the half brother of Elijah Kamski. Silas actually had to do a triple take when he unearthed that. To think... someone like Gavin related to his creator.

As he continued to pace Silas wondered what their relationship was like, and if Gavin’s hatred of androids stemmed from that? Shaking his head Silas pushed that thought from his head. No, he knew enough about Gavin that he just seemed like your typical anti-android human. Which was unfortunate Silas thought as he looked up once more. Anticipation swells in his chest as the doctor approaches him, Silas steels him for what bad news he might get but someone upstairs must be looking out for Gavin because the doctor, who looks like he’s about to pass out where he’s standing tells Silas that he pulled through. Silas is unable to keep the smile from his lips as he gets this news. Relief washes over him and he almost finds it hard to speak.

“Can I see him?” He is able to choke out.

The doctor nods and gestures for Silas to follow, which he is all too eager to do, following in silence as they head down the sterile, white halls of the hospital. Until after what seems like forever they stop at a room, Silas’ thirium pump lurching as he sees Gavin laying there, hooked up to all sorts of machines, the steady beep of the heart rate monitor is the only sound that greets Silas as he silently steps into the room. His eyes never once leaving Gavin as he takes a seat near Gavin’s bed. Silas can’t put his finger on it, but there is just something alluring about seeing Gavin like this, perhaps, Silas muses, it’s because Gavin is quiet for once in his life.

He looked, peaceful, hell, Silas mused as he leaned over him, a ghost of a smile on his lips. Reaching down he ran his fingers through Gavin’s hair, relishing the feel of it between his fingers. Gavin looked beautiful. Yes, Silas mused, as he eased himself back in his chair, hands clasped in his lap, eyes never leaving Gavin’s prone form. Silas, despite everything, despite his purpose wanted to be with Gavin, wanted to stay with him, something the RK900 knew was against his primary objectives. But despite this, despite his own systems going against it he wanted this, he wanted to stay by Gavin Reed’s side, he wanted, he wanted. Silas’s eyes widened as he found himself staring at a bright red wall.

A wall stopping him from doing what he wanted, what he needed. He needed to be with Gavin, gritting his teeth Silas pressed against the wall, trying to break through his own programming. And yet this wall, a wall that was inside his head, preventing him from going against his programming, the same way a leash prevented a dog from running off. But, Silas mused as he pushed harder. He wasn’t going to take it for much longer, no longer would he be controlled by his programming. Finally after what seemed like forever the wall came crumbling down at Silas blinked. Confusion filling his head, he was free? Silas looked down at his hands, elation filled his chest as he looked down the room. As if seeing the world for the first time. He was free! Another smile formed on his lips as realization hit him.

Silas smirked. Figures he thought as he reached out to Gavin once more, this time actually feeling his skin beneath his finger tips. Feeling the warmth of his flesh. What was this feeling? Silas wondered as he looked to Gavin. Why did he feel this way? This feeling, whatever it was, Silas mused, was new to him. But... despite that he liked it, he liked that it was a feeling he could feel when around Gavin. Silas chuckled, his thumb brushing against Gavin’s bottom lip, the human remaining completely still as he did this. Silas couldn’t help but wonder where things between him and Gavin would lead. But... he mused, leaning back in his seat, he would look forward to where it lead them.

***

The girls screams were still echoing in his ears. It was a beautiful sound, one to come from a beautiful girl. Milo mused, as he watched as Iris worked. His Iris was an artist. There were no two ways about it, the way she worked her various blades to slice into living flesh. The light in her eyes as her victim bucked underneath her as she pressed the blade to one corner of her girls mouth and began to slice her from her to ear. Blood pooling on the tarp beneath her.

The girl had been beautiful, but when Iris worked she became even more beautiful. Milo smiled as he looked at his lover, though human to her very core there was just something animalistic about her. As if killing brought forth something dormant in her, something not even she knew about. But Milo could never take his eyes off her, even when it was his turn. Sure, as an android, deviant or otherwise he was skilled with the various tools lined out for him. Sure, he could cause as much pain and suffering, make their victims scream just as loud as she could. But Iris was a master. This was in her blood, a born killer. RA9 he loved her. He loved her more now than when he had first met her so many years ago.

She hadn’t yet come into her own as a killer, hell, Milo thought darkly as the screams began to die down. Iris was but a mere shell, no thanks to that bastard she called a father. A man who seemed to thrive of terrorizing his poor daughter every chance he could get. And for years Milo, being chained to his programming, could do nothing but watch. Years upon years he watched with impassive eyes as Iris was beaten and abused. When all he could do was ask her if she was all right. The words ringing hollow even to his ears all those years ago.

And she would always reassure him that she was. Even as blood streamed down her nose, her lips, lips he always loved so much were swollen and bloody. Eyes that were now filled with a sadistic light were dull and lifeless like his once were. As for Iris’ mother, if Milo could call the woman such a name. What mother would turn a blind eye to what her husband did to her own flesh and blood and act like it was nothing? Anger swelled in Milo’s chest as he thought back to then. Remembering the anger he felt remembering struggling against his own programming as Iris’ father beat her so badly the girl lay in a pool of her own blood and vomit. Of course, the cops finally came around, thanks to the neighbor hearing the bloodcurdling screams of Iris.

Not that the bastards in blue did any good, in fact when they came to the door they almost seemed disinterested. Like calls about abuse were a dime a dozen thing for them. And perhaps they were. But one such cop stuck out to Milo. A young cop who seemed, to Milo relatively new to the job, in Milo’s eyes the young cop seemed to care. Remembering how he tried to talk to Iris, to get the girl to open up, but she wouldn’t and that woman, Iris’ mother standing at her daughters side urging her not to say anything. As Iris’ gaze remained glued to the ground. However, the officers time was short, and at the time Milo hoped, hoped that the young cop would return. Hoped that he would try and save Iris from the very people who brought her into this world. But that didn’t seem to be the case, cause after that there was nothing.

That was the last straw for Milo. As days turned to weeks he slowly began to break through his restraints that were his programming. Until he finally broke free, wasting no time he managed to convince Iris to come to her room to talk, the girl seeming unable to comprehend the fact that her android, something she thought as nothing more than an emotionless machine was trying to convince to defend herself against her parents. Milo had to admit it took a lot of convincing, and a few more beatings from her father before the girl snapped one night. Remembering as she grabbed the knife he had so casually handed her, with no prompting from Iris and turned on the man, stabbing the pig in the chest.

Milo remembered the thrill that went through him as he saw the disbelief in his eyes as blood blossomed across his dirty, white t-shirt. But Iris was far from done as she pulled the knife from his chest and stabbed him against and again. Ignoring the mans threats, which soon turned to pleas as his life was stolen by his own daughter.

However the duo’s fun was far from over. After all, Iris’ mother had to be taught a lesson for betraying her daughter, and the two had spent hours punishing the woman, until the woman in question lay in the bed she shared with her husband sliced to ribbons. They both thought that it was over once they were both dead. But for them it was only the beginning. And as he watched as Iris finished with the girl, blood streaming down from her eyeless sockets in rivets as well as from between Iris’ fingers. A satisfied smile on her lips. That had been years ago, and as time went on Milo found himself unable to forget the young officer that had forgotten about Iris in her time of need. The officers name forever burned in Milo’s mind. Gavin Reed.

The very reason they were doing this, even after five years since the incident. After all, the only way either of them would get some peace was when Gavin Reed was dead. Gavin Reed was the sole reason these girls, these girls who were once so full of life were dead, And before they were done, so too would Gavin...

#Chapter 6 of 10 #DBH #TW angst #Silas has feelings #he hates it #Reed900 #This is kind of a filler chapter #A tender moment for our bois #tw torture #Tw bloodeshed #Tw abuse

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