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#bill cipher sings
hkthatgffan · 2 years
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ALEX HIRSCH JUST BLESSED US WITH A FULL VERSION OF WE'LL MEET AGAIN!! Featuring Bill Cipher, Soos, Grunkle Stan and McGucket!!
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ghostboy-art · 5 months
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cipher-ar-wally · 6 months
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k4ndi-c0spl4y3r · 1 year
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Making this for art class. I’m not done yet but this is what’ve got so far! ^^
Also sorry for not posting often :”)
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xxfabulashxx · 7 months
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Bill and Alastor bully Spamton so much
That poor little man they just see him alone and decide to play baseball with him except he's the ball and they're gonna hit him as hard as they can so he flies off into space and isn't seen for like 3 months
And yes they have poured milk over him and slammed him into a wall on several occasions they think its hilarious
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mellowsmuses · 1 day
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juniemunie · 2 years
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@gf10yearslaterzine
Day 7- Favorite Game/Book/Merchandise
Favorite Book/Merchandise
I haven't been able to get the chance to read the multiple ending story book but I have read the other two books, and it's pretty obvious that the best one for me is Journal 3, especially that backlight edition!
What I didn't expect to be my favorite merchandise would be the soon to be released Gravity Falls vinyl containing Dipper singing his theme song and Disco Girl... man I can't wait for the other songs in the vinyl to be revealed 👀
Favorite Game
For the favorite game, they are pretty alright, nothing too ostentatious??? I haven't played that nintendo one (cuz im a pisspoor non american kid)
So instead im heading to do unofficial territory- GRAVITY FALLS NUCLEAR THRONE MOD
Cuz nothing is better than seeing Bill finally get a gun
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And the other game i would like to mention would be the Grunkle Dating Sim, BECAUSE CMON- NOW THAT IS A WELL MADE GAME, letting u see a shirtless ford and make out with stan???? Chefs kiss,,, perfect
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lourdesdeath · 5 months
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Innocently listening to oldies and I get kneecapped by Wedding Bell Blues
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gfanlocalcryptid · 1 year
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Billford playlist: Love me dead
Oh, yes. How could you think I could miss this masterpiece? No comment, it’s absolutely perfect.
“Love me cancerously (…) You're a gluttonous queen Narcissistic and mean”
“Kill me romantically Fill my soul with vomit Then ask me for a piece of gum Bitter and dumb You're my sugarplum You're awful, I love you!”
✨“She moves through moonbeams slowly She knows just how to hold me And when her edges soften Her body is my coffin I know she drains me slowly She wears me down to bones in bed Must be the sign on my head That says, oh Love me dead! Love me dead!”✨
“You're a faith-healer on T.V. (…) Corporate and cold Gushing for gold Leave me alone”
💛“You suck so passionately You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature Finger-bangin' my heart You call me up drunk Does the fun ever start? You're hideous and sexy!”💛
“Love me cancerously How's your new boy? Does he know about me? You've got the mark of the beast You're born of a jackal! You're beautiful!”
Nothing left to say. One of my favourite songs of all times!
Last song:
Next song:
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goatsandpals · 10 months
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Sorry, but Bill Cipher’s theme song would actually be blank space by Taylor swift. I ruined that song for myself by imagining it sung in a Bill Cipher voice. I CANT UNHEAR THAT
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ckret2 · 13 days
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Chapter 47 of human Bill Cipher thinking that being imprisoned in the Mystery Shack is looking pretty good right now:
The Eclipse: Part 5
Bill and Ford are just... so energized and enthusiastic after their near death experience. Not to mention fashionable.
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But they've got nothing on Dipper.
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And, at long last, Ford and Dipper badger Bill—who's just too tired to lie—into explaining what kind of an "eclipse" involves a giant flying axolotl making gravity disappear.
####
When they reached the cave, Ford discovered that his antique lantern was too waterlogged to light.
"I'm not sure how we're getting to the top now," Ford said. The cavern directly behind the waterfall had some ambient lighting, but it wouldn't carry very far. "I know you can see, but I don't trust you to lead me through a cave system in the dark, no offense." He was surprised at himself for saying no offense.
"If I was planning to let you fall off a cliff, I could've saved myself a swim in the lake." Bill had taken off his backpack and was rummaging through it. "Didn't your lantern go out when you took four-eyes hiking through here? You should have learned your lesson."
Bill must have meant Fiddleford, though it was strange to hear him single out Fiddleford as "four-eyes" when Ford wore glasses too. "I did learn my lesson. I brought three flashlights as backup," Ford said. "Which are in Dipper's backpack."
Bill laughed weakly.
"Did you bring a flashlight?"
"Better." Bill pulled out a kazoo. He blew a stream of water from it, shook it, and then took a deep breath and played a long high note that wavered up and down.
Ford cringed at the noise. "Bill, what—?"
Bill held up a finger to silence Ford. Okay, fine. He was curious now.
It took a few moments of increasingly irritating kazoo playing, but Ford heard a soft clinking sound coming from the deeper caverns; and then several geodites—small creatures that looked like stone orbs with crystal limbs and teeth and glowing eyes—curiously emerged into the main cavern. Ford hadn't seen these creatures since he'd documented them in the eighties. He hadn't known they could be summoned via kazoo. They began making a high pitched humming along with Bill's kazooing. 
"There you are." Bill stuffed the kazoo into his backpack and crouched down, holding out a hand until a couple of geodites crept closer to inspect it; and then he scooped up the closest one. The others startled into breaking off singing, but hovered nearby, chirping and clicking. "Okay, grab a flashlight." The light the geodites' eyes gave off wasn't very bright; but it was enough for Ford to see Bill's smug smirk. They proceeded into the caves, and a dozen-odd more geodites—perhaps out of curiosity, perhaps out of concern for the two hostages—followed along behind them.
The climb went much slower than it had just a few hours earlier. Unsurprisingly, without low gravity on his side, Bill was the holdup this time. Not only was he not as experienced in spelunking as Ford, but between his waterlogged dress shoes and his borrowed trout slippers he didn't have any appropriate footwear, and he'd elected to carefully climb barefoot again. When Ford had climbed up this path with Fiddleford in the 80s, it had been a six hour climb. He had no idea how long it would take with Bill.
But even at that, Ford hadn't expected Bill to need to pause so often to get his energy back. It seemed like the more Ford recovered from their fall in the lake, the weaker Bill got. In any other situation, he'd suspect Bill of slowing them down on purpose, but after... well, even that aside, Ford couldn't think of any reason Bill would want to delay getting home.
"It's just this body that's dizzy," Bill said, the fourth time they had to stop for him to sit. "Probably one of those... counterproductive stress reactions human bodies get." He wiped a film of sweat off his forehead, then stopped to examine how his hand trembled when his geodite's spotlight eyes fixed on it. "That or it's because I've only had a handful of cereal for the past two days."
Ford stared at him. "You what? Why?"
Bill shrugged. "Body wouldn't let me get more down. Wasn't my idea."
"Well, for goodness's sake, eat something now."
Bill took off his backpack, pulled out a cereal box, and opened it. He grimaced. He poured out a puddle of sugary lake water and dissolved cereal.
Of course. "Here." Ford pulled a tube of astronaut meat out of his backpack and offered it over. "It's not the most nutritionally complete meal supplement, but it's something. It'll have protein."
Bill took the tube with a grimace, but squeezed out a dollop of meat paste and licked it; and then he gagged so hard he doubled over. He clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from retching and offered the tube back. "Mmmf." The geodite hopped out of his lap in alarm and retreated to the group of hangers-on traveling with them.
The meat paste wasn't great, but that was a disproportionate reaction out of the alien who liked to mix chocolate sauce and mustard. This was a bigger problem than Ford had anticipated. "Keep it. If you can get down even a tiny bit every few minutes, that's better than nothing."
Bill nodded jerkily.
"I think it's better if we reach Dipper and get out of here as soon as possible."
Bill nodded more enthusiastically.
What would they do if Bill couldn't make it the whole way? Would Ford have to leave him in the cave and come back for him later? Ford hadn't tied the infinity belt's cable to Bill like he'd meant to, he just realized. It seemed unnecessarily cruel to try now; but it might be useful if he did have to leave Bill behind. He didn't know that they had any better option, he couldn't carry Bill all the way up and down. Especially since Bill had let go of his geodite, and Ford suspected the rest might abandon them if he put down his own...
They'd have to figure that out if it came to it. For now, they kept walking—Ford glancing back regularly to check on Bill, and Bill pretending he didn't notice.
####
After another half hour and another two increasingly frequent breaks, Ford saw a faint light in the tunnels ahead—yellow-white, not like the geodites' natural blues and purples. "Bill, is that...?"
"Hm?" Bill looked in the direction Ford was pointing. His right eye twitched, and then he had to squeeze his eyes shut in pain. "Yep. Boy child at 12 o'clock."
Ford called out, "Dipper?"
"Great Uncle Ford!" Dipper's voice echoed through the caves. There was a sound of clattering rocks as Dipper scrabbled down the tunnel to join them. The geodites scattered in fear, peering out from behind stalagmites as Dipper's flashlight swept over the scene. "Grunkle Ford! Are you okay?"
"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Are you—?"
Dipper collided with Ford to hug him. (Ford held his geodite out to the side so he could return a one-armed hug.) "I'm so sorry I saw you go over the cliff but I couldn't do anything I was in the mindscape the whole time something sucked my soul out of my body—"
"Not it, I'm innocent," Bill said unnecessarily, "nobody look at me." He'd taken advantage of the break to immediately sit on the ground. His abandoned geodite crept back over to check on him.
"—and—and wow, that was the Axolotl you were talking about, right?" Dipper let go of Ford to gesture like a fisherman demonstrating the size of an enormous catch, "It was huge, it had to be—I don't know, as long as the county? The whole state? How did it get so big? Is the Axolotl an alien or some kind of mutant Earth axolotl? Are all axolotls aliens—?"
"Now, hold on," Ford said, putting a hand on Dipper's shoulder, "what huge axolotl? What are you talking about?"
"You didn't see it?" Dipper paused, looked Ford up and down, and said, "What are you wearing?"
Ford grimaced, tugged his bandanna up a little higher, and turned his geodite away when it tried to aim its spotlight eyes at his neck to see what he was doing. "We had to borrow some dry clothes."
"He couldn't see the Axolotl," Bill said. "You shouldn't have, either."
"Sor-ry. Getting sucked out of my body wasn't my idea—"
"Hold on," Ford said again. "What do you mean, sucked out of your body?"
As they headed back down toward the waterfall, Dipper and Ford exchanged their versions of events. It didn't take long for them to realize Bill had saved both their lives with a swift efficiency that, had it been applied to any less altruistic a task, could have been called "ruthless." They didn't say anything, but neither one could stop from glancing back toward Bill.
"What?" he snapped, clinging to his geodite a little tighter like he thought they were planning to take it. "I don't owe you an explanation. You're not dead! Be grateful. Stop looking at me."
They stopped looking at him. Bill should be gloating about them owing him their lives. He should be convincing them they had to pay back their debt. Silence alone would have been worrying; but bristling like he wanted them to forget what he'd done was baffling.
As Dipper finished explaining his version of events, he said, "I think I remember meeting the Axolotl before—like you said." He directed this last comment back over his shoulder toward Bill.
Bill—whose entire attention had been focused for the last ten minutes on walking without collapsing, tripping, or dropping his geodite—simply muttered, "My condolences."
"Wait," Ford said, "You've... met a giant invisible axolotl before?"
"Mabel and I both did."
"When?"
Dipper opened his mouth, paused, and glanced back again at Bill for help.
It took a few seconds for Bill to register the question. "Oh—they've never met before. Not in this reality."
Exasperated, Dipper asked, "Then why do I remember it?"
"I told you—echoes," Bill said. When Dipper continued giving him an expectant look, Bill sighed deeply and said, "This is an embarrassing oversimplification, but you're at least familiar with the concept of branching timelines, right?"
"Of course I am. Every time you make a decision, the timeline splits into two paths—"
"Cute that you think it caps out at two," Bill said. "And a decision doesn't always split the timeline, sometimes the branches collapse back together depending on the gravity of the decision you made. I don't literally mean a decision 'you' made—you've never made a decision that important—but sure, you've got the basic idea."
"Fine," Dipper snapped. "So I met it on another branch, right? When?"
"Never," Bill said.
"Okay. Yes. But there is a branch where... some version of me met it. Right?"
"It depends on how you define 'is.'"
Dipper puffed out his cheeks with the effort of restraining a yell. He looked at Ford for either help or sympathy.
Ford winked surreptitiously at Dipper and said, "It's probably some complicated chronological issue. I doubt Bill can explain it in a way humans can understand." Under his breath, he loudly muttered, "Some 'teacher.'"
Bill straight-armed Ford aside to walk beside Dipper. "You humans have no sense of humor," he said. "I said you met him never because it's literally true. You had an accident that landed you in a time and space outside time and space—the meeting happened never and nowhere. It's where he prefers to take visitors. That timeline terminated after your meeting—and I don't mean you died, I mean he terminated that entire timeline."
"Really?" Dipper shivered. "With... With everyone in it? Why did he do that? Did something dangerous happen in that timeline, or was it unstable, or...?"
"That's how he usually ends casual meet-and-greets," Bill said. "Higher dimensional beings. He sees your reality from a perspective unimaginable to you. Remember when I told you you're just a movie projecting on a wall to him; he's got no problem with pulling the film out of the reel to inspect a few frames and then turning the entire projector off when he's done. What does he care if that's somebody's entire reality?" He paused to think that over. "Maybe the projector metaphor's getting strained. Imagine flipping through a book with all the pages out of order, and meeting him is like somehow flipping to a page outside the book... No, that's a little too contrived. I'll stick with the projector."
"When did we... when would we have met him?" Dipper asked. "And—when I say 'when' I mean—you know what I mean."
"You mean, when would you have made the decisions that could have led to you meeting him? Depending on your perspective, either last August or 207̃05. Time travel was involved."
"Last August..." Dipper thought back. "Was that when we were—?"
"Treasure hunting, yeah. By the by, I never asked—" Bill gestured vaguely around them at everything in general, "—which dimension did I end up in? Is this the one where you went hunting in the 1400s or 1800s?"
"Uh—1800s."
"Hm. Knew this wasn't a 207̃05 treasure hunt timeline, Questiony doesn't have a pet enslaved time pirate."
"A what?"
"So you never had a chance of meeting the Axolotl anyway," Bill said. "Hey, fun fact! Did you know there's a time pocket where twelve million alternate versions of you, your sister, and the puppet with the goggles failed at your quest and plummeted out of time? I wonder how long the last of them survived! I meant to check in after Weirdmageddon. Human flesh isn't that nutritious and doesn't have much water, but with millions of bodies and a little determination— Hey, wanna know how long you all were there before you started resorting to cannibalism—?"
"No," Ford said before Dipper had to. "And I'll thank you not to get off topic to try to give my gnephew more nightmares."
Bill shot him a sideways glance. "Remind me to tell you about the time pocket formed by all the timelines where you and Specs did your first portal test without checking your math."
"So if I wasn't even supposed to meet him—how did I see him today?" Dipper asked. "Did he pull me out of my body into the mindscape so we could talk, or...? But he didn't even tell me anything, was he just trying to get me to remember meeting him in the terminated timeline—?"
"He wasn't trying to do anything," Bill said. "He wasn't here for you, he didn't care. Shadow on the wall."
"Then what was he here for? You?"
It took Bill too long to answer. He just shrugged vaguely. "Probably not."
"Huh." Instead of questioning Bill, Dipper briefly turned introspective himself, gaze far away and thoughtful. "I think I remember a little more about meeting the Axolotl now. The first time, I mean."
"Oh, do you?" Bill asked. "Ha! Poor kid."
"Mabel and I were in some kind of rocket car?" Dipper's brows furrowed in concentration. "And the Axolotl had a... bean bag chair?"
Bill scoffed. "He still has that old thing?! Wow."
"It was really comfortable."
"It's also really tacky."
"You talked about him like he was some kind of... of big... eldritch cosmic horror thing," Dipper said. "What kind of a cosmic horror has bean bag chairs?"
"What, do you think being a vast multidimensional amphibious monstrosity with an incomprehensible mind and a body that can only been seen in lower dimensions as grotesque shapeshifting cross-sections protects you from having bad taste? He'll flay your sanity straight out of your gray matter—and you won't even have the comfort of knowing your mind-shredder had nice interior decor sensibilities!"
"I can sympathize with the experience," Ford muttered. "I was driven to the brink of paranoid madness by a nightmare demon who thinks Doric columns go with checkerboard flooring."
Bill let out a shrill "Ha!" and smacked Ford's shoulder.
"But he remembered me when we met," Dipper went on. "He told me to say hi to Mabel. And—the last time we met, we—talked. I don't remember it all yet, but... you were wrong about him. There was nothing insanity-inducing about him. He was just... nice."
"You don't think the madness sets in all at once, do you?" Bill turned back to Dipper, with an air of what Ford uncomfortably felt like was ill intent. "Go on then—what did you talk about? You can't remember it, can you? Why not? Just a harmless little conversation, right?"
Dipper frowned in thought. "There was something important, but—I can't remember what it was. What was it?" He muttered, "I know it was something important—"
"And there we go!" Bill gestured at Dipper with a flourish, triumphant. "Now you're digging for the significance of the whole thing. You're trying to comprehend the motives of something that has a state of existence your mind wasn't built to understand! You'll either go mad trying to understand his motives—or you'll go mad because you do understand. You're doomed now, kid—this is gonna haunt you for the rest of your days." He laughed. "Try to stop thinking about it now while you're ahead!"
"I'm not going insane," Dipper said. "Just shut up, I'm trying to remember."
"'I'm not obsessed, I swear! I can stop thinking about it any time I want!' Sure."
"Shut up," Dipper repeated. "It had to have been something important! Otherwise why would he dragged me out of my body and—and shown me the fourth dimension just so I could meet him?"
"Don't sound so self-important! You never saw the fourth dimension; if you had, you wouldn't think he looks like an axolotl. He visited this dimension's mindscape," Bill said. "And he didn't even mean to drag you into the mindscape! It was just a side-effect of his gravitational pull. He tugged you toward him just like everything else in town; but Earth'sgravity doesn't extend through planes like the mindscape, and his does. Yanked your spirit right out of your body."
"Then why was I the only one?" Dipper demanded. "Why didn't you or Grunkle Ford leave your bodies?"
"Your spirit's more loosely attached to your body than ours."
"Why?!"
For a moment, Bill's face twisted with displeasure; and then he sighed in resignation. "Ah, heck with it. You've been astral projecting."
Dipper's mouth worked uselessly. He croaked, "What?"
"It's when you—"
"I know what it is! I mean—what? How? When?"
"At least as long as I've been here. How long have you been having those out-of-body dreams?"
"Y—!" Dipper socked Bill's arm. Bill didn't even flinch. "You said those were nightmares!"
"And I lied," Bill said tiredly.
"Why?!"
"Thought you'd be annoying about it."
"I've been dealing with this all year, you—!" Dipper groaned in aggravation. "Why am I astral projecting! I wasn't trying to learn or anything!"
"How should I know, I wasn't around. Best guess, I think I ripped up the Velcro sticking your soul to your body when I yanked you out to puppet it," Bill said. "Oops."
Dipper gaped at him in outrage. "'Oops'?! That's all you can— I've been terrified and I thought it was a nightmare and it was real all along and it was all your fault and you won't even—"
"I knew you'd be annoying."
"I'm annoying?! How would you like it if you'd spent a year getting dragged out of your body in your sleep—!"
Bill abruptly stopped walking, turned toward Dipper, and said with an intensity that startled Dipper into silence, "You don't have the slightest idea how much I'd like it. How would you like it if you'd been trying for weeks t—" Bill cut himself off before he could get more heated; and instead, only said, "If you. Wanted to get out of your body. And couldn't. And some brat down the hall is doing it without even trying."
Dipper remained frozen, jaw locked tight in a grimace, until Bill turned away and trudged on. Dipper snapped, "But I don't want to do it. And it's your fault I am."
"Great. Nobody's satisfied." Bill sighed. "Make the most of it. Watch late night TV. Learn to meditate or something, I don't care. You've got nothing to worry about, it's harmless." He paused. "As long as nothing else crawls in your body while you're outside of it."
"WHAT?!"
"It's fine. Nothing'll get you in the shack through the unicorn hair barri... hm. Well—you're safe in the shack."
"But I have to go home at the end of summer! Will something be able to get me then?!"
Bill shrugged. "Hypothetically."
"Am I gonna die?!"
"Given my understanding of human mortality? Sure, sooner or later. Wanna hear your top five most likely causes of death?"
"No! Is it possible to—to stop? Can I control the astral projecting?"
"Yeah, sure, I guess. Ask me next time you're out of your body. I'll show you"
"Can't you show me n—"
"No. Not while you're in your body."
Dipper scowled. "Fine! Next time I'm projecting, I'm kicking you awake until you help me." He turned away from Bill; and, after a moment of fuming, mumbled to himself, "If I've been astral projecting... then that time I visited the neighbors... oh, man..." He trailed off, getting lost in his own thoughts.
Keeping silent during that discussion had been agony for Ford.
Every few seconds, he'd wanted to butt in either to eagerly ask for more information about the Axolotl or astral projection, or—far more often—to express his rage on Dipper's behalf, that Bill (of course!) had put him through this, and then not even had the decency (of course!) to try to rectify it.
But it was Dipper's conversation. It was about Dipper's problem, and anyway Dipper had been trying so long to pry some sort of useful information out of Bill—it would be cruel of Ford to snatch the conversation away from him when he was finally getting somewhere. He'd have a lot to discuss with Dipper once they were home and could get away from Bill.
But staying outside the conversation had let him observe three points he might have otherwise missed.
One: Bill really wasn't himself. Back when he'd been playing as Ford's muse, whenever he got to answer questions, he'd always done it with an air of theatricality and barely-suppressed glee; and after he'd given up that act, he'd answered questions with smug arrogance, the glee turned to sadistic delight at the bad news he could deliver. Now, he simply answered them. Even his attempts to be condescending gradually got less enthusiastic until they petered out completely.
Two: Bill was answering questions he never would have answered that morning. After telling them as little as he could about the thing coming to Gravity Falls, even trying to avoid admitting it was the Axolotl, now he was freely talking about the Axolotl's taste in furniture as though he knew the beast personally. After hiding that Dipper was astral projecting for over a month, he simply told him. Heck with it. He'd admitted it was probably his fault. He'd said the last two words Ford had ever thought he'd hear come out of Bill's mouth: I lied.
Three: this was the longest Bill had walked without needing a break all day. His voice was stronger. His steps were more steady. Ford had even seen him squeeze out a few dollops of astronaut paste between comments—and he struggled to make himself swallow, but he didn't gag.
And now that Dipper had stopped asking him about the Axolotl and about astral projection, Bill's footing was growing less certain again. He wove unsteadily on the path and had to pause to lean a hand on a stalactite, taking deep breaths. "Gimme a second."
Bill was distracting himself. He was keeping himself going through conversation, the simple ritual of receiving and answering questions. Ford understood: sometimes, in desperate circumstances, you had to burn yourself out to get somewhere safe enough to collapse and recover. When you had no choice but to push yourself, the best thing you could do was think about anything but your exhausted, failing body. It made it easier to keep moving and burn through what energy you had left.
Ford had once wondered if his "muse" was some manner of creature that was compelled to answer the questions his protégés asked him. This was perhaps the closest Bill had ever gotten to actually being such an entity: answering questions because he had to to go on, and willing to give away almost anything as long as it kept him moving.
Ford stopped next to Bill. "So. The Axolotl was the source of your 'gravitational eclipse,' I suppose."
"Astute observation," Bill said flatly.
"I take it that it isn't 'eclipsing' gravity so much as canceling it out. The Axolotl must have a mass similar to Earth's, if the force it exerts flying by above us is nearly identical to the force of Earth below us."
"More or less."
"But according to Dipper's observations, this Axolotl is only the size of Oregon at most. Did he underestimate its size? Or perhaps it's incredibly dense...?"
Bill gave Ford a sharp sideways glance. Were this any other conversation on any other day, this would be when the gloating started. Well, well, well, look who finally believes I was telling the truth, finally crawling back to me to give you all the answers you can't find yourself— But Bill only looked away again, pushed himself back upright, and kept walking. "You're the square looking at the sphere and thinking it's a circle," Bill said. "The majority of the Axolotl's mass is in dimensions you can't see. The little bit of him that's visible in the mindscape is just a... a feeler. Or an anglerfish's lure. The rest of him is close enough to exert a gravitational pull—but not in a dimension you can see."
"Which dimensions does he exist in?"
"I can't tell you because your species knows so little about them that the answer wouldn't mean anything. You haven't even decided whether or not you want to officially call the dimension that time shines from the 'fourth' dimension—I could tell you he comes from the seventeenth dimension and it wouldn't mean anything but an impressively high number to you."
Dubiously, Ford asked, "Does he come from the seventeenth?"
Bill waved a hand vaguely. "Heck if I know. The most I've ever seen at once is nine, and I was on a lot of psychedelics at the time. My eyeball popped."
"Eugh." 
"Worth it, though. If you ever wanna feel cosmically insignificant in the most breathtakingly beautiful way possible, and you don't mind going blind, let me know. I think I can remember most of what I was on."
"Pass," Ford said. "If the Axolotl is so enormous, then why was only Gravity Falls affected by its gravity? At a minimum, shouldn't have the rest of the Pacific Northwest been impacted—if not the whole planet?"
"He wasn't near the rest of the Pacific Northwest. In the third dimension, Gravity Falls is obviously connected to Oregon; but in higher dimensions, it's..." He tried unsuccessfully to pantomime something mountainlike. "Imagine if the second dimension were a flat sheet of stretchy fabric. If somebody plucked the fabric up in the middle and made a peak, a creature living on the surface of the fabric would still be able to travel across its slope like it was flat, right?"
Ford tried to visualize Bill's description. "Right."
"And so if a fly flew past the peak of the fabric, it'd cross near whatever town's at that peak without getting near the towns at the bottom of the slope."
"Rrright."
"That's what Gravity Falls looks like from the fourth dimension," Bill said. "In the third dimension you can't see anything, but to fourth dimensional beings it sticks out of the fabric of spacetime like a thousand mile high pillar in the middle of a desert. That's why Time Baby put his capitol here."
Now, Ford wasn't sure that sounded right, but he didn't know enough about the seventeenth-or-whatever dimension to dispute it. "And why you kept trying to punch through to our dimension from here?" he guessed. "I imagine stretching the fabric of spacetime that far might make it easier to tear."
Bill shot him a sour look, but didn't deny it.
"Why did the gravity go down slowly for two days and then come back all at once? Did the Axolotl just leave faster than it came?"
"You know how the Doppler effect works?"
Ford hesitated. "Yes. Obviously."
"Well, in higher dimensions, gravity works like a reverse Doppler effect. It spreads out in front of a moving object—"
"Oh, come on."
"—and compresses behind the object—"
"Now you're just making up scientific-sounding nonsense because you know I can't disprove it."
"I'm not, and as soon as you get me a pen and paper I can prove it." Loftily, Bill said, "There's a simple equation that can explain higher dimensional gravity."
Ford was pretty sure he was being made fun of. He didn't mean to laugh, but he did. Dipper looked at him like he'd lost his mind; but trying to explain what was so funny would probably just make him look more insane.
Bill looked nearly as surprised.
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"... And the smaller axolotls, what are they—heralds, worshipers? Children?"
Bill scoffed in disgust, "I don't know, I've never asked him. I see them like the flies orbiting a cow's tail. They migrate with him, that's all I know."
"Then the Axolotl really was just 'migrating'?"
"Well. Migrating in the sense that a mayfly watching a human walk back and forth to the office thinks it must be 'migrating.' He has..." Bill gestured vaguely, "duties, that mandate he travel fixed routes through the multiverse. He just happens to have a years-long workday. His commute doesn't usually take him past 46'\."
"'Duties' as in... divine duties?"
"It depends on if you worship him for doing them. I don't."
The cavern was growing light again, and the distant waterfall was audible. Ford quietly sighed in relief. Even as oddly forthcoming as Bill had been, Ford doubted that even two-thirds of the information he'd shared was true. But it was hard to tell. It had always been hard to tell.
Dipper helped Ford deflate the raft and pack it up. As he did, he said, voice low, "Is it just me, or is Bill kinda...?"
Ford cast a sideways glance across the cavern. Bill was crouched in front of the geodite he'd carried all up and down the tunnel, backpack in his lap, pouring a pile of soggy cereal onto the ground for the geodite to eat. Ford was surprised he'd gotten so attached to the creature. "I think he's been in some state of mental shock since the fall in the lake," Ford said. "And it seems he hasn't been able to keep down a full meal since we left yesterday. I suspect he's barely on his feet. The sooner we can get him back to the shack, the better."
"Oh." Dipper frowned toward Bill. (He was now pouring cold medicine on the cereal. Ford would have to ask him about geodite diets.)
"What are you thinking?"
Dipper shook his head. "I just thought... He seems like he's thinking about something. And he's giving so much away... I don't know. I wanted him to talk, but now it makes me wonder if he's scheming something."
From what Ford had seen, at the moment he doubted Bill could so much as scheme a way to ruin a picnic. But now he was second-guessing his perception. Ford knew Bill better than anyone; but that also meant Bill knew how to manipulate Ford better than anyone. What was Dipper seeing that he didn't? "Really? Do you think so?"
Dipper hesitated. "I—thought so? Maybe not." (Well, now they were both second-guessing themselves.) "I just don't know why he'd tell us so much if he isn't up to something. It feels like a distraction."
"Ah." Ford nodded. "I think the distraction is for himself."
"Mm." (Ford wasn't sure if Dipper had heard him.) "I just feel like there's—something. I can feel it in the back of my head." He stared at Bill a moment longer; then shook his head and turned away. "Maybe it's not him, maybe it's the Axolotl. He said something I can't remember. Something about degrees."
"Degrees?"
But Dipper didn't reply. He'd returned to his work, lost in his own head, mumbling under his breath the way he did whenever he was trying to work something out. Something else for Ford to ask about later.
When they got in Tate's loaned motorboat to head back out, Dipper got a look at the rainbow trout slippers Bill had put back on, and let out a choked laugh of surprise; and then that was the last sound any of them made as they crossed the lake. Ford steered, Dipper remained lost in his own thoughts, and Bill stared at his friendship bracelet, thumb running around the glass evil eyes.
####
(Finally a few mysteries solved! I hope y'all enjoyed, and I look forward to hearing what you think. Next week is another emotionally wrenching chapter!!)
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inquirewithbillcipher · 2 months
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Do you like Owl City music? It's my favorite. The Real World, Fireflies, Cinematic, Dementia, Embers, Gold, Good Times, Lucid Dream, Shooting Star and Thunderstruck are just a few of my fav songs from him! Adam Young is what I think Will Cipher would sound like when he sings. Adam Young is Owl City btw, if that wasn't obvious to you.
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Glad you enjoy your music kid!
-Bill
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nunalastor · 1 month
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As I’m falling asleep I like to play little stories in my head (like almost everybody lol) but they always derail into random crossovers for some reason.
Steven Universe becomes Alastor’s friend? Check.
Alastor gets possessed by Bill Cipher? Sure.
Alastor also becomes an mlp character that replaces Twilight Sparkle? Yep.
Vox and discord sing the airplanes song? Yes.
Valentino gets completely destroyed by Princess Luna? Also yes.
Steven Universe is suddenly 5 ft taller than everyone else and I can’t get him to stop falling over for some reason? That’s there too.
What about being completely aware yet not aware it’s a dream and somehow rewinding some stuff when they don’t go the way I want? Sure, I can do that for some reason.
I wake up with sleep paralysis? Maybe, maybe not.
Have you ever experienced this? Idk how to have normal dreams for some reason.
👀
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spiraling-voids · 2 months
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A lot of you liked my idea rant about Hatchetfield characters, well, I got more
More things I thought of for Hatchetfield characters
I like to assume that the eltric gods can’t do anything outside of Hatchetfeild. Like Bill Cipher in Gravity Falls, there is a barrier around Hatchetfield that prevents them. I can go on about this idea but that would make this idea go on longer than the others
Pete and Steph could’ve chosen to not watch Max and Grace. . .but there was definitely a part of them that was curious on how that worked
Pete and Steph definitely hear the LiB voices every now and then due to the fact they wanted Steph to kill Pete out of the three giving up what they cherish
I’m a huge sucker for ghosts that have the  injuries they received when they died, so imagine Max having a big ol’ bloody hole though his stomach cause he died with wood planks through the stomach. Stage wise, that’s probably a bit difficult to move around in. But story wise, he could-
So, let’s say that Steph and Pete would find each other in every timeline, imagine how shattered Steph would be the moment she found out that everything is messed up when everyone is singing and thinks she can exit the school with Pete until she hears him sing along
After Max died all the nerds were definitely still tense and cautious when things were changing because of how long they were getting bullied, sure they were happy but that’s a huge change in literately a day-
Officer Bailey was definitely a theater kid but due to careers not careering, he became a cop
Mark Chasity is a closeted or repressed Bi, with how that man acts the way he does, he is not straight…either that or he’s a theater kid or both
The two guys in TGWDLM were not Greg and Stu, instead just two random people and Professor was too deep into his musical and his memories to realize that
Richie or Pete could’ve fallen and become vengeful ghosts like Max but their targets would be different. Again, could go on but this idea would be long
If Paul 23 and Android Emma didn’t reveal they were the real Paul and Emma, they would both definitely catch on that the other isn’t completely human….well Paul would definitely notice stuff while Android Emma could probably scan him to find out he isn’t human
Alice definitely sneaks out to go to Hatchetfield, and neither of her parents knows cause she got cool excuses
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eldragon-x · 7 months
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i dont care for the crossover stuff disney has been doing recently but unfortunately its also really funny to go into the gravity falls tag and hear about how disney had belos sing karaoke alongside lord dominator, dr doof, and bill cipher. whose shitty grandpa was invited to the villain hangout.
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undeadvinyls · 2 months
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someone PLEASE make an animatic of shadow milk cookie singing 'it's gonna get weird' or the we'll meet again cover in bill cipher's voice
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