bad batch finale thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all damn. like damn. they really did it. those crazy sons of bitches did it. they ended this beloved show in a way that was cathartic, happy, full of tension, and did all the characters justice. my faith in star wars has been restored. i am so happy

—— the tension was unmatched this whole episode. like narratively, killing off tech told us as the audience that no one is safe, there’s no plot armor. so the whole time i was like omg they’re all gonna die but they dIDNT BECAUSE THEYRE THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS AND BECAUSE THEY HAVE LOYALTY AND LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND THATS WHAT THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT. LOYALTY AND LOVE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

—— CROSSHAIRS HAND IM SOBBING there is something so heart wrenching but amazing about his 'shooting hand' being taken away from him. it's like the physical embodiment of why he was created but now that he's free of that embodiment, he can choose to be whatever he wants. such a good choice narratively imo

—— that elite task force was badass i'm obsessed with their designs and their fighting styles i kinda wish we got more of them but they were also terrifying

—— crosshair finally made the shot that mattered the MOST. i love him so much. like he seriously means so much to me idec

—— still bummed that tech is actually dead (no he’s not haha loser i’m happy in my delusions). while i do think it’s technically more realistic for clone soldiers bred to die and raised with the expectation that they’ll be killed in battle to lack emotion, i think the lack of emotion this season was to its detriment. however i will say that the “clone force 99 died with tech” line was so good it pretty much made up for it lol

—— THE ENDING WAAA A A AAA A. A A A A. A AAA. A A A A A. A A AAA AAA AAA AAAA A A AAAAAA A A. omega and hera best friends confirmed. they were rebellion pilots together. omega is in the rebellion. like that is just the perfect ending to her character i can’t even. because of course she would. and i love her. i’m so proud of her. she is the heart and soul of this show and anyone who hated her is prolly feelin realllll silly right now

—— damn we’re really just not gonna know who the cx 2 operative was huh. like. he really was just a guy

—— that last shot of tech’s glasses almost got me i fr almost cried. he would be so so so proud of omega. he would be proud of all of them

—— omegas and hunters older designs mean everything to me. just. storytelling through clothes will never not be my favorite thing. her little skull patch 😭🫠 the bandana 🫠🥲

this show means so much to me, truly. it has inspired me artistically, comforted me, and connected me to some amazing people. i don’t even feel stupid for writing all these thoughts about a ‘silly little star wars show’ because damn it this is what art and stories means to people!! this is how powerful they can be! i do not need to hide behind jokes and irony to communicate how much this artistic work means to me!

<3

End of Year Recap + Plans for 2024

Hey everyone!

Belated Happy New Year to everyone! I know this is a very late end of year recap 😂Unfortunately, the past week ended up much busier for me than expected, so I could only get around to doing this now that things have calmed down a little.

This is a crosspost of a public post I made on Patreon a few days ago, so if you prefer the formatting there, you can read the post at this link:

PS: I do free monthly devlogs / posts there on Patreon, so consider joining the free tier of the Patreon even if you aren't interested in the paid tiers!

For those who'd rather read the post here, I'll leave the extraordinarily long ramble in a Read More cut below!

Let's start with a quick recap of the highlights / achievements accomplished in 2023!

Okay, this one may be slightly cheating. While Emberfate only launched on Steam in Jan 2023 so the 92 positive reviews came in in the year of 2023, it was up on Itch.io since mid 2022, so not all 383 Itch.io ratings came in in 2023.

Still, I'm pretty proud of these stats! Perhaps the numbers are nothing compared to some other amazing games' out there, but it's still something I'm proud of. It makes me happy that my silly experimental nostalgic little game struck a chord in so many players — much more than I expected given how niche the topic was!

Now, unfortunately, I could not get Emberfate's DLC for Potato's route out by end of 2023 like I had hoped. Porting the game to mobile also ended up much more difficult than I expected because of just how much of the UI I'm going to have to redesign — and hence, programming to be redone — if I wanted to make the game fit a small mobile screen. So both plans are going to have to be postponed to 2024.

The other notable highlight of 2023 is that both Lyrissa's and Kierdan's routes for Reanimation Scheme were released for beta access! That put the game at 3/5 routes complete, with a total of 431,786 words for the script.

I recruited a handful of beta testers to test the three completed routes a few months ago, and so far, the feedback has been positive overall. That's been a huge relief and lifted a massive weight off my chest — due to the controversial reception of the demo, I've been extremely anxious that the game would be hated by the players, and I've done so many rounds of editing and honestly perhaps somewhat unnecessary and obsessive rewriting of the script, but none of it felt good enough 😂 So hearing the positive comments has been a huge motivation / morale booster. Perhaps I should have done beta testing sooner… LOL

There are two more achievements unrelated to a specific game project that I'd like to mention:

2023 is the year that I became more interested in and better at Ren'Py programming! Most of it is thanks to my amazing programmer friend and Ren'Py wizard, Feniks (whom you may know as the programmer for Our Life series), who sparked my interest in programming and helped teach me a LOT. While I'm by no means a professional now at coding, I feel much more comfortable navigating around Ren'Py code and setting up what I need to in the backend of the games I'm developing, which opens up new doors for me for future projects in terms of what kind of features (big or small) that I may be able to include! Though the side effect of that is I looked back at the code I did for Reanimation Scheme from previous years and was immediately horrified by how ugly and inefficient it was. 😂I did redo the backend code of the Gallery and Achievements system a bit, but the rest will just have to stay for now.

I made quite a few new connections within the indie VN dev sphere in 2023! I made a shocking discovery that there's enough number of indie VN developers from Hong Kong to fill half a minibus, and I was lucky enough to connect with them and share our experiences and learn from each other! Due to new project commissions I took on for $$$ (real life financial needs suck), as well as a couple of small game jam projects I joined as programmer to buff up my programming portfolio, I also made some new VN dev friends unexpectedly. It's been really nice, because honestly, solo dev can be a really lonely and isolating endeavor sometimes. I'm super grateful for the new connections I found myself making in 2023!

Looking Ahead: 2024

Okay, that was a lot of rambling for the recap. More than I thought I would write. Now let's move forward to what the future will look like for this studio in 2024 and what goals I'm setting for myself this year!

Priority #1: Finishing Reanimation Scheme

Of course it's Reanimation Scheme. As mentioned above, we're currently at 3 out of 5 routes completed (sans partial voice acting). So the biggest goal for 2024 will be to get the game done. and out. Finally.

I won't be giving a concrete release date until we're like, literally in beta phase for all 5 routes, just so I won't have to announce a delay and let people down. But given the current progress and pace of work, I'd say probably around mid-year — maybe Q3 latest.

I'll be keeping up with the episodic updates of Reanimation Scheme's beta build on Patreon (and Kickstarter) from this month onwards, beginning with Jori's route and then followed by Sebastien's.

The remaining Kickstarter rewards may take a little longer — but ideally, all of them (artbook / lorebook / short stories collections, etc.) will be done by end of the year as well.

Priority #2: Potato's Route DLC for Emberfate

Potato, poor Potato. His DLC had to be put on the sidelines until Reanimation Scheme is done.

Half of the art has already been commissioned and completed by the amazing Remnantation — we're just missing his selfie CG & his MMO character sprite! So the next step would be the script and then the voice acting for the calls part. I won't be able to start on the script until mid-2024 earliest, but given the fact that his route won't be that long if it's parallel in length compared to the existing three routes, it probably won't take too long to do. Perhaps 2-3 months for the development process of the DLC?

I'll likely be releasing his DLC early on Patreon, potentially also episodically as it's completed, like I did with Emberfate. So if you're interested, keep an eye out for it when the time comes!

Something Secretly Brewing in the Shadows?

If you're pledged to this Patreon on $10 tier or above, you'll probably already know what I'm alluding to.

I won't be announcing or talking much about this for now, since I don't know when I'll be able to start working on this project properly (i.e. I need to meet my above two goals first). For all I know, it might end up being not a 2024 thing but a 2025 thing. So I'll only tease it slightly for now here.

Bonus Goal: Market, for the Love of God

If you follow Wind Chimes Games on either Twitter or Tumblr, you'll probably have noticed the sorry state of my social media. I… really do not like marketing or posting on social media. I never know what to post or say. I'm too unfunny and uncreative to meme or write humorous captions that get engagement. 😂It kind of feels like I'm shouting into the void, and nobody really cares about what I have to say on my projects when there's so many cooler and more interesting things out there. So I always try for a brief period of time, and then I give up 😭

This year though, I really really need to take marketing more seriously. With two releases planned for 2024, marketing is going to be important if I want the games to sell more than like 20 copies LOL

So I guess, uh, hold me to it and call me out if I don't start posting regularly after all 🥹

Conclusion

If you've made it this far on this post, thank you so much for listening to me ramble. 🥹 2024 is going to be a very busy year, but hopefully, a productive one that will end with me meeting all of the above listed goals.

Thank you so much for joining me on the wild and bumpy journey that was 2023, and I hope you'll stick around for the exciting things to come this year too! Here's to a great year ahead of all of us!

I know this is random and not a writing ask but I'd like to know about what you think about the Lovebrush heroine.

An overall analysis would be nice, I don't mind if it's really short or really long. And you're free to ramble on any topic as you please ranging from which LI she's suited best with or the her behavior in different routes. Basically a rambling review.

If you don't have the time, feel free to take all the time you need or ignore this altogether.

Thank you for the question, anon. It's very intriguing and refreshing indeed. I'll try to share my opinion and what I think about the MC of Lovebrush Chronicles in this post.

MC Analysis !

Well, I have seen many discussions in the LBC fandom regarding the MC. Some say she is nice, well-written and actually has a likeable personality whereas some say she is dislikeable, too sassy and what not. Honestly speaking, I think the MC is... Alright. She's neither the usual self-insert, pining over the LIs, changing her personality to please the boys type-MC, nor is she a badass God-tier has all the male LIs obsessed with her, groveling at her feet type MC. She is just... A normal artist (with a complicated background). And I find that nice.

The thing I like the most is that she actually has a background or a backstory in this game, unlike the other MCs who are usually a normal person in the world; no talent, no personality, no likes or dislikes and they have been randomly chosen to a "special" place all of a sudden. But in Lovebrush Chronicles, the MC achieves her seat at the school, stumbles upon the Otherworld whilst trying to save her friend (we all need a friend like MC), unravels the secrets, and fights against her own damn guardian just to protect that land! She has her inner values and her priorities are set right, and that's what makes her stand out, I think. I hope that makes sense lol.

Also, which LI fits the MC best is a tricky question. Their relationships are somewhat vague at an early stage like this since the game just dropped like a month ago lol. But, I think, Ayn or Alkaid go well with the MC. I know, I'm not a huge Ayn or Alkaid fan, I'm a Clarence fan by heart. But frankly speaking, MC and Clarence have a stark contrast in their personalities. Clarence, the stern, organised, diligent and workaholic senior might not be so compatible with the laid-back, snack loving, artist. But are they adorable together? Absolutely. Is there potential between them? Of course, the relationships are all vague at first so that they all can fit with the MC – that's the main reason behind otome games, the mc must be able to date whomever they like.

But, in my opinion, Ayn's sassy, tsundere-ish but secretly soft vibes flow the best with our MC. They both have their own values, they're both caring (Ayn? Caring? Yes he is, he is just too "It's not like I'm doing this for you! >///<" to show it lol) and I think they click well together.

. . . That's only my speculation, don’t mind me whslsbsmd. You're free to love whomever you like.

Furthermore, I have never been a big fan of Cael, but his relationship with the MC is the most intriguing. A person appointed by MC's mother to look after her child when she leaves the Earth, ain't that endearing? Of course, it is. But the way he raised her, cared for her, while also keeping her in the dark from the secrets of his past is so amazing. Truly. I get it, Cael kept his word to keep MC safe, but she is growing up, she will ask you about the truth, man; what's wrong with spilling the tea? Mayhaps he was afraid MC wouldn’t like him anymore ~ lol jk jk. I just love their dynamic.

Overall, I think the MC for LBC is pretty neat. She can be a bit sassy and annoying with her roasts and choices at times, but hey, at least she isn't a pushover like the other MCs we see in the otome games. True neutral, for real. Anyway, that's it for my brief analysis. Thank you for reading this, I'd love to answer more of these questions, they're really interesting! :)

ok ok ok those who have finished the first 10 chapters of Nightbringer……. Who do we think is Nightbringer???????? My own random guesses under the cut because spoilers for chapter 10 of Nightbringer (EDIT: also I just added lesson 10A spoiler screenshots so spoilers of course)

so the “one sided” convo featuring Solomon in ch 10… again spoilers… implies Nightbringer isn’t a demon (EDIT: kind of. Tbh I’m not sure anymore and am leaning demon aka barb, but I’m leaving what I originally said here anyway. See screenshots below for spoilers). But the intro vid/teaser implies that they are a demon. Hence the confusion. I mean… we know angels can become demons and humans, but can the reverse be true? I don’t know. Have we been told at any point that the reverse is possible? To have a deal of some kind with Solomon though… I’d assume at the very least they are not human although that doesn’t necessarily mean they were never human. Ok now I’m just getting into the weeds with this. I also didn’t reread anything so this is straight up me rambling right after reading that lesson and being confused as fuck.

1. Barbatos from another timeline?? The intro makes you think it’s barbatos in some form, at the very least.

2. God??? Lol if we’re truly following the story of the actual king Solomon… but I don’t know if they’d really go there. But it would make the most sense in a way LOL though the pseudonym “nightbringer” seems wrong for this guess

3. Michael because idk he exists and I don’t know enough about him to decide either way

4. Lilith but that feels conspiratorial to say

5. Diavolo’s dad because why are they bringing him up this much… but again this doesn’t totally fit with what we’ve been told about this “demon” so it would need some explaining

6. Someone else completely who we haven’t met or maybe who was mentioned a few times in passing idk

I’m so curious 😭😭😭😭😭 like who tf 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 help

EDIT: ok I reread and y’all I’m 😭😭⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ big ol HUGE lesson 10a spoilers below

WHAT???? like Solomon… are you saying my man’s a demon or not a demon like please

“You sound just like a demon” @ nightbringer but then “you think I’m behaving like a demon… but that’s to be expected Bc you made me who I am today” 😭😭😭 Solomon pls explain thank you. Now I think it’s more likely nightbringer IS a demon rather than not but that “you sound just like a demon” line really had my wheels spinning like is Solomon being cheeky or 😭 why would he say that to someone he knows is a demon? Is he just saying “of course you would say that” or is he implying nightbringer isn’t a demon? I’m too deep in the semantics probably. It does seem like nightbringer has to be a demon though…. Right? Like it’s more likely Solomon is saying “you would say that” by saying “you sound just like a demon”? Dude I’m harping on this way too much I gotta stop LMAO it’s probably just barb or diavolo’s dad maybe I think I’m going too deep on this

sorry this post got so unhinged 😭 I lost the thread but at least the screenshots are worth looking at I think

The more I read the little snippets (in mostly tags) of your asexually the more I wish to bow at your awesomeness! I honestly wish I knew someone like you when I was growing up. Keep being your awesome self 💜

Aw, well thank you, that's so sweet! And honestly? Me too! XD Because it's weird, isn't it? Growing up and going to school and just... having such a different experience? Everyone is out there flirting and going out and getting boyfriends and girlfriends and whatever and I'm just over here watching Naruto and playing Fire Emblem. XD But the truth is, I didn't really "figure out" what was up until my 20s. Figured out that there was a completely different set of parameters I might fill, y'know? That I wasn't just weird or religious or even defective, but a whole, complete person who just so happens to live outside of majority parameters . And it was so nice to realize that it wasn't just a me thing, too! And also relieving because, like... Even if you're not consciously aware of it, there is so much pressure put on you as a teenager to date and find a partner and, yes, even to have sex. Enough that even I, who had no desire to, always sort of felt like I was missing out. So yeah, it was a big weight off my shoulders when I learned the term asexuality and looked up what it meant and how it might apply to me. And also to realize that I'm not alone in feeling that way! Honestly, I feel like figuring I'm (very probably) asexual was not only a huge step in my development, but also was really one of the first things I felt adult about, y'know? Like, this is something I never knew as a kid, something I figured out all on my own, and something I can own and be proud of. It set my brain to a different wave, like... Kind of fuck what society expects of you, y'know!? Fuck me working in a male-dominated, physically demanding field! Fuck me plodding along after my parent's very backwards beliefs! Hell, even stupid shit like fuck shaving my gd legs, who came up with that, it's so stupid?! But I guess in that way, it's been quite pivotal to me as I've matured. And like... let's say I do eventually find a partner and decide I wanna settle down and shit and I find out that whoops! Maybe I wasn't as ace as I thought I was, lol! Then no biggie there either! Because fuck static sexuality, you can change whenever you want! Doesn't mean that the process of getting there wasn't worth it or that you didn't learn anything along the way! In that way, I think being ace will always be a part of my identity at this point, even if things change further down the road. XD Anyway, this is getting quite rambly. Forgive me, it's 4 am and I should've gone to bed already, but your ask was so nice and I wanted to reply. :) It's really nice to know that my offhand little ramblings might mean something to someone somewhere. That maybe someone will stumble over them the same way I did in my early 20s, just learning that there was more to society than straight and gay. And yeah, it would've been nice to be aware earlier, sure! But isn't it a nice thought to think we could be that person now? Like, what's that one post? About being the person you needed when you were younger? Like, what a wonderful thought! Let's, you and me, strive for that, eh? And get some more of that casual acceptance out there. ^_^

Hey! Just a heads up, I'm sending this to multiple people, since I wanna get as many different viewpoints on this as I can. I hope this doesn't bother you. Also, this is pretty long.

So, I have a question about gamedev, but more on the marketing/presence side.

Most gamedevs I know, even hobbyist ones, keep their accounts relatively professional. Sure, they may shitpost here and there, but it's mostly in relation to their games, the gamedev sphere in general, or very general inoffensive stuff. And, most importantly, I've seldom seen my favorite gamedevs (or any of my favorite internet personalities, for that matter) comment on random videos unrelated to what type of content they usually post.

All of my social media accounts are quite unprofessional. I've also had them for a long time, so there are a few things on my digital footprint that I'd rather people not see. I also, for lack of a better way of explaining, watch and read random shit and like to leave comments on it sometimes.

I feel like, I were to become a gamedev, I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. I'd have to treat my internet presence as its own balancing act, rather than a place for me to express myself unabashedly. I know this is working under the assumption that I would get big and that people would give a damn about me, but there is always the off chance of that happening. Of a random game you make suddenly blowing up because it hit the algorithm just right. So it's better to be prepared. And even if I don't get that big boom in popularity, I still plan to at least make games consistently enough to build a community of their own. Nothing like, huge, but I really enjoy the idea of people enjoying my work and sharing that enjoyment with others. But I don't want that to cross over into my personal life!

I know that's not an impossible feat, but I feel like it kind of destroys the purpose of the internet for me. To me, it's always been a safe space where I could express myself and easily connect with people with similar viewpoints, but I am now coming to odds with this concept as I consider how I want to become a gamedev.

There's also the side note that I don't wanna rebrand. At least not completely. I don't mind cleaning up my accounts or deleting some old ones, but I've grown very attached to being "Quamai". I can't imagine myself having any other online identity, even if there are some cringy moments attached to it.

So, do you have any advice for my situation? How did you personally go about your own online image, and what do you think is the best course of action?

Thank you in advance!

oh gosh what a question ldkjfadl

hmmmm

putting this under a cut because it got long and rambly lakdfa

for me personally i don't think i've ever made that many "right" choices when it comes to how i handle my online presence in game dev, it was mostly just me doing what seemed like the right thing to do at the time. it's also changed a lot all throughout my time as a dev

tho i guess the main thing is that i did create a whole new game dev online identity, so to speak, when i first got into game dev. this wasn't really due to any purposeful thought put into it though and was more just because 1) i didn't really have much online identity anyway at the time and 2) in the beginning i was trying to be more "professional" LOL

when i released easter, i did it without any presence at all. i had no accounts or anything. i literally just finished the game and threw it up on itch and gamejolt using the new studio name i had come up with based on an inside work joke. it wasn't until i started to get a few people talking about the game or linking to it/making vids that i was like hmmm i should have a twitter maybe LOL so like a week later i made a twitter. but i barely posted on it, it was just responding to other people. a year later when i released the 2.0 update i also made a few posts. then thought i might start using it more so started posting just a few random updates of new stuff i was trying out/working on (this was when i made my first couple of posts about early OW stuff)

but then when i shifted out of game dev again for a while, i abandoned it

it wasn't until august of 2021 that i began actively using my account again to post production updates for work on ow. but back then i was a lot more "emotionless" for lack of a better word. like i approached it in a more no-nonsense way than i do today. i also never got that much response from it either, usually lucky to get like 2 or 3 likes on stuff 🤣 over the course of that first year or so though i would change a lot in how i handled my online stuff, acting much more like myself, interacting a lot more with people, and getting increasingly more unhinged(???) LOL perhaps because i'd begun to see that being "super professional" when i'm just a little random person making a game all by myself there's no reason to be so stiff (and it's just much more fun and genuine to not be afraid to be myself and be a bit silly). over this time was also when i'd shift away from using my studio name and just taking the "carrot" identity. because i realized i didn't like people thinking about me as an impersonal studio and wanted to just be me, carrot, interacting with people, making games, and getting unhinged about my chars and stories

is this the right way to do it???? i have no idea. but perhaps since i never have any aspirations of grandeur and don't plan to be any kind of business, it's fine for me. and while it's true that i don't like to post, reblog, interact with, content unrelated to my games or other VN stuff, that's mostly because i don't want to annoy people who i know only follow me for game stuff (i worry about annoying people a lot, actually, it might be one of the core foundations for how i handle myself online LMAO). i don't have any other presence online though. once i started my game dev stuff, carrot became me, and it's all that's out there. so it's not like i need to "separate" anything. but also i'm not a very avid user of social media in general so it's not like i have an active desire to have different accounts so i can tweet about or comment on other stuff lakdjfasd i'm an old socially anxious duck who gets mentally exhausted just scrolling my feed. i don't need to spend any more time online than i already do with my game dev stuff hahaha. i do know some other devs though for instance that have private accounts on twitter just for their friends and more personal thoughts. so that's always an option too

as for what you should do in your own situation with your own online presence, i'm not really sure, as it all comes down to what you want. for me, since i didn't have much presence anyway, and because i wanted my game dev stuff to be its own thing, it made sense for me to create a new presence just for game dev (that eventually evolved into my entire self LKDJFAS). so it's hard for me to say what would be the best course of action if you already have an online presence that forms a core part of your identity that you don't want to lose. it also depends on what you want to eventually do with your games and if you see yourself really wanting to pursue it actively and make it a big part of your life. most devs that i know do have "game dev" presences for lack of a better word, where if you go to their accounts, it's just for game dev. or they create studios and studio accounts. i think no matter what you decide to do, even if you keep the name the same, it would probably be best to at least keep your game dev stuff separate, because people could potentially be put off from following an account for games but then their feed gets filled with a lot of non-game stuff from you that they don't care about

no matter what you decide to do though, i recommend being yourself no matter what. whether you keep with your same identity or craft a new game dev only one, still do what feels right for you on that account and be yourself and have fun with it!! game dev can already be such an isolating and hard experience, so creating a space where you can be silly and have fun with other devs and fun with your chars and ideas can really help so much to give you motivation and just enjoy your time creating games!!!

(sorry if this was a complete ramble that didn't even still fully answer the question; i can only speak from my own personal experiences that i went through after all and i don't really have any good or professional answers since i also have no idea what i'm doing most of the time 🤣)

sorry to anyone who has to see this HAHAHA i think it's a little fun to ramble to.. a void i guess. i'm typing this under the assumption no one's gonna read it, let alone find it, so, sure, i'll talk!

on pangytine, my current and only instagram account, i sometimes get these spontaneous urges to post a huge a long overdue thank-you paragraph to my followers on my story. gratitude for indulging my artistic endeavors when i still had tangypine. i just never did it because.. well it's kinda.. cheesy... i had no idea how to deliver it in a way that didn't seem dramatic or "humble" because cmon, i'm not that relevant. It felt a bit weird addressing it because it just made it seem like i was this huge influencer who suddenly disappeared (and yes i know i was technically considered a big artist on both ig and twitter but.. it's not like i was unique; i think.. the state of Fandom and the art community these past few years makes accumulating thousands of followers a little less unattainable, and i was one of those artists. and my work is not phenomenal- i did not leave an impact on the art community. but these nuances will just have to be generalized for now because i think you all know what i mean) and so i couldn't help but laugh and cringe and think, "i am not this relevant-" because i really wasn't. why make a big deal out of it?

but i can't help it being a little dramatic though, because i still get emails from my followers asking where i am, and i get comments and messages on pangytine ("i finally found you!"), and i even get messages from my shop's contact form! a shop that i've abandoned for months! and my heart swells. I don't want to dismiss that; i think i will always be a sensitive, emotional person and so stuff like this just makes me overwhelmed. it's sweet, and it will never fail to make me a little bit nostalgic and thankful. I will always have a soft spot for tangypine and my time spent in the anime + genshin communities… i dunno.. people are just so kind and i'm thankful i've encountered a lot of them

i've been a lot less.. chronically online (LOL) that the thought of having 200k followers is completely foreign to me. i forget that i had a huge following, that people actually looked at my stuff. I dont mean for this to come across as modesty though because i'm just being honest, truly. but this just makes the occasional "where are you? i miss your art" hit a little harder 🥲 i mean, i was able to somehow sell my art through tangypine. i was able to do commissions.. had so many say they loved my art- of course a part of me misses that. i don't think i yearn for it, and knowing that makes me a little sad.

i genuinely am thankful for every kind comment people have left me, and every kind message. I think i'm just ultimately thankful i had a kind following. people are so nice! and that's what i wanted to say, that's all ive always wanted to say before i deleted my accounts. here it is

aha and again i dont really expect anyone to see this (except maybe a few handful just because my very first post here has a whopping 4 notes, me included, and that genuinely shocked me HAHAHA). perhaps i just find closure in publishing these particular thoughts somewhere, and here they are sorry this is cringe to the people who read it. my friend once told me i'm notorious for overexplaining. This is will be the only time i get to say this, so gah whatever. i don't think i can bring myself to post this lengthy ramble on my more public account on instagram

15, 17, and 20!

HI TOPSY!!! AHH. Thank you for taking the time to ask these! I appreciate it!

Fandom Positivity asks from this game here.

15. A topic you never get tired of discussing.

Oh I feel like you knew what I was going to say. I mean there's A LOT about TES that I'd happily chatter over but let's focus on my favorite first.

✨ Weird Magic Shit ✨

To prevent myself from absolutely rambling about this, because I absolutely will given the time and space, I will simply outline what I mean when I say this. There have been a number of ways spells have changed for the series over time. So in fic, we are really free to change the perception of spellcraft and magic in whatever ways we see fit, pulling from lore sources or the game mechanics, or whatever we want. I spend a lot of time thinking -- well, what if a spell could work differently? Is it too far out of canon compliance to make sense? If so, why? And how do we tie it back in a specific way that allows the reader to suspend their disbelief just for a bit? How can a caster's skill affect how they perceive magic or make use of it? What cultural aspects affect how magic is learned or utilized? How does magic and language connect? Are they one and the same? etc, etc.

All of it comes back to the fact that magic is inherently weird and also a huge, huge part of TES. So I'm happy to twist it and warp it out of shape, because it seems there's so much not told in the source material. Early on I did also write a smol post with some super basic ideas on it, and not every aspect of what I am working with is on that post -- but it's there. :> And I'm always happy to discuss weird magic things.

Actually, messing with magic starts pretty early on with World and continues throughout, like, every fic I write. It's a big deal. I'm always here for talking about how I work with it and how others headcanon weird magic shit. (:

17. Something you love that you don’t often share because you’re worried what others will think?

Hm! Well this is interesting because I am very transparent with the kind of fandom participation I work with LOL I don't really generally worry per se what others will think of my taste in fanfic or fanart because at the end of the day, people can scroll past me if they don't prefer to engage with what I'm yelling about. I've been lucky in this regard that most of my mutuals will also yell about similar things.

I'm trying to think of things recently I've read and loved that I would worry about discussing --

Oh! I know. One thing which is really more of an unpopular opinion than anything. I love to dunk on the Nerevoryn ship, but the ✨Morrowind Fic Writers✨ who lean heavily into this give me pause sometimes with how adamant their commentary can be LOL. So I'm not about to write out my unpopular opinions. Because it's very much not like that for me with fandom. Like I want to have a discussion about the merits of the writing or story, not cause chaos in the comments section by posting "lol okay then, you do you" right lol. I find it to be sort of a waste of time to be negative toward others on the internet and I don't want to invite others to waste their time being negative to me because of how funny I find this ship generally speaking. (Please know most of the humor comes with me hearing Voryn/Dagoth Ur's voice as it was in Morrowind while I'm reading. It is a thing I cannot help.) I suppose sometimes in general I'll read this ship for funsies? To be perfectly fair, I don't mind the ship. I just haven't encountered much content for it that isn't absolutely absurd to my eye. (And sometimes even if it is absurd, it's in the best possible way.) Perhaps it's not that I worry about what others will think. It's more that I just don't have a lot of opinions that aren't jokes I think. LOL (For the record, smut/pwp also has this effect. It'll be funny to me most of the time, unless it's well written then I'm just like good for ya'll and move on.) I am simply not the intended audience for that, or, unfortunately, the majority of Nerevoryn ship content. And that's totally okay.

20. Give kudos to someone who is a devoted fan (either of your own works or others’)

MORE KUDOS! I wanted to give a huge shoutout here to @changelingsandothernonsense who has been reading World since the very beginning, version one, challenge mode, me posting every day and cutting content left and right, and also skipping editing phases. She knows SO MUCH about the story upcoming and has been following along with the revision. Not only that, but keyboard smashing with me in my DMs and reading snippets that nobody else has gotten to see so far. AH and it's been such a joy and an inspiration. We chat every day pretty much about fandom things. Thank you for being a fandom bestie and for your enthusiasm. 🫂 I could say so much more LOL. I appreciate all the effort and all the shenanigans. And most of all, I appreciate getting the chance to talk not only about World, but also about Danger!Josh. :>

Turns out it’s the second op that I love and remember well. But like…! Look how different in tone and genre it looks compared to the first one! Admittedly the anime had filler and dragged out the beginning? I actually liked reading Bleach. And ngl I probably rewatch this arc more than the actual beginning because it is more put together but… I also love the IchiRuki lol

Unfortunately I don’t get invested in the Orihime rescue mission the same way as this Rukia rescue mission. And I can see how ppl don’t like the repetitive nature of the plots. But I do feel like there are at least some differences. Like the emotional weight is different. Both of them “chose” to leave with the antagonists. But I feel like it was very different circumstances. It’s established Orihime has feelings for Ichigo. But I don’t feel it’s reciprocated. Ichigo wants to get her because she is a friend. For Rukia he feels like he owes her. And I feel like their bond it’s different from Orihime. He feels so strongly for her despite not knowing her for as long? But Rukia is also credited as being the one who “stopped the rain in his soul”. So like…!

But also Rukia was on a clock ro execution, Orihime was just a pawn and not in danger of being killed. They both left to protect Ichigo, and his friends. But Rukia left in front of his eyes and Orihime left secretly. I can understand Ichigo’s trauma and having lost ppl would make him sensitive to Orihime just leaving and not seeing it. But it was also way more clear for Rukia it was a lot more targeted to Icjigo. The others weren’t close to her like he was. They were helping for Ichigo. For Orihime they all had a vested interest in getting her back.

I’m already rambling but as I said I have a lot of feels for Bleach but especially IchiRuki.

Sugirandom: Yes, so the second opening does look more in-line with the genre of the show even though if I recall correctly Season 2 also had a ton of filler. It's interesting to read your explanation of the differences between Orihime's rescue mission and Rukia's. I don't remember if I ever saw both of them but I think if I did I also would be a lot more invested in Rukia's rescue. Even though Orihime does eventually get some kind of powers I think? I feel like she's more of a damsal in distress type of character and therefore didn't feel that invested. I do feel like Ichigo only views Orihime as a friend and that Rukia had a substantial impact on his life in many ways.

Skipping the second op for the rescuing Rukia part of the arc, and the two filler op’s? (You can get whiplash from op’s being high action and fast passed and dramatic/angsty, or more happy and slice of life feeling. I think this following one was for when they went to rescue Orihime (I’m not a big fan of the visuals or music)

I wasn’t a big fan of the above opening 6. But opening 7 is also one of my faves (I also just love Asian Kung-Fu Generation) Still rescuing her. But I also wanna admit I couldn’t finish watching or reading all of this arc despite it’s importance to the lore. It felt too dragged out and it only made me dislike Orihime more rhan before. Whereas for the Rukia mission I grew to like her more. I mostly waited until this arc was over and watched the final battle because I heard what happened. I didn’t come back to Bleach until the Fullbringer Arc which I don’t recall when that happened in the timelime

Sugirandom: Ahh, Opening 6 definitely gives off more IchigoXOrihime vibes and I'm not really a huge fan of the animal companions lip-syncing lol. Opening 7 is much better but I'm also bias in liking Asian Kung-fu Generation. Thanks for sharing these and sorry it too so long to post my responses.

end of the year thoughts

Hello!

I swear I made another blog post recently but it looks like the last one I made was at the end of march phew. Anyways, I hope everyone’s been having a stress-free holiday season, enjoying themselves and hanging in there. 

I’ve included a longer version below so that I don’t take up too much space on people’s dashboards (or TL? what do we call the feed on tumblr nowadays?) but the short of it all is that my wrist pain has improved significantly since my last post, I’m going to work on opening a patreon and doing a lot of art projects in the coming future!

I figure I should make a little update related to my last post (wrist pain/pinched nerve) I’m still waiting to see a doctor for a full evaluation LOL but I did manage to buy a secondhand cintiq, shoutout to the guy on FB marketplace who didn’t scam me, it’s been amazing to draw with and has seriously helped alleviate a majority of the pain in my wrist/hand. I’m honestly having so much fun drawing with it I can’t believe I deprived myself of this for so many years LOL. I’m still working on taking adequate breaks/rest periods and strengthening my wrist which I also think played a huge part in my recovery. Anyways, I definitely feel more confident in taking on work now that I can draw for more than an hour without pain or even just the mental energy drain being in pain causes, yay!!!

Soo with that being said I am going to be working really hard on new art, I have a lot of projects I want to do in the future. Primarily a lot of OC stuff but a few fandom related things as well. I had a dream once that I spent 300$ in gachaphon trying to get every single catboy kurapika merch so I think this is a sign that I have to make a lot of catboy kurapika merch. I also want to make some batman related stuff and experiment with some new product types 🥺 definitely want to participate in some more conventions, I never made a post reflecting on my time at Sakuracon and AX but I had an amazing experience at both (as good as it can be during the panini). If you came by and said hi or bought anything from me during these times thank you so much!!!! It was really nice to talk to people who enjoy my art or chat about fandom stuff 😳

Other than merch and fandom related products I think I also want to finally get my patreon up and running, though it will be very low stakes (one tier for the foreseeable future). I’ve definitely gone back and forth on this since I have a big fear about letting people down. It’ll most likely be used for posting up sketches, WIPs, I might ask for feedback on what I should draw next or give art feedback if requested? I’m not the most skilled artist but I think I’m capable of a suggestion or two :^)!! And yes the whole twitter thing has definitely contributed towards me trying to make a serious attempt at patreon again...

The last thing I wanna say is thaaatt I am going back to art school to hopefully get my BFA, I’m halfway there, yay!! I really hope to learn new techniques/skills and improve a lot, even just typing this out is giving me a lot of excitement for the future haha.

I think that’s all I wanted to touch on without rambling on for TOO long LOL. Thank you for taking the time to read through this! 

Another Year, Another Meme/2nd Blog Anniversary.

First things first. Holy fuck I can't believe it's been 2 years since I started this blog. It feels simultaneously both shorter and much longer than that. It's been such an insane journey and I can't thank you all enough for being here with me!

I've said this multiple times, but when I first started all of this, I didn't expect to grow anywhere near this big. I didn't think I would get even a hundred followers, let alone thousands. This all started simply because I wanted a Sejeong smut but nobody at the time wanted to write it. So I engaged Thanos mode and said "fuck it, I'll do it myself." If you told me at the time that I would still be writing 2 years later with over 7k followers, I wouldn't have believed you. But I'm here and since I'm feeling sentimental, I want to thank everyone who made this possible.

To @sinsatmidnight: Thank you for betareading and editing my pieces. Seriously, you've done so much work it's insane. I'll never be able to thank you enough for it. But even more importantly, thank you for convincing me to take the plunge and try writing. While several writers inspired me (yourself included), you were the biggest driving force in persuading me to write instead of just watching from the sidelines. You've given me so much invaluable advice the last two years as both a writer and a friend, and I like to think that I've grown tremendously as a writer thanks to you. At the very least I don't use exhale as a noun anymore LOL.

To @lockefanfic: You're easily the biggest inspiration that also made me want to start writing. Seeing someone that made Business Trip such an amazing and long standing series inspired me to try my hand at writing. But in addition to being a huge inspiration, you've also been an amazing friend. Despite not liking the greatest culinary creation known to man, you're a fellow Eunji stan and we share a lot of the same views. The biggest confidence boost I've ever received is when you told me that you thought my pieces were good after publicly saying that you didn't read much other smut. I can't tell you how amazing it felt that the amazing author I followed not only read my work when he didn't read much of anyone else's, but LIKED it. It was such an insane fuel for me when I started writing.

To @themanthemyththeverite: Ah. My soulmate and my biggest fan. We have so much in common it's kind of scary. From idols to music to games, I always have a blast talking to you. I know that I can always count on you to help me figure out ideas when I get stuck. You're one of my closest friends in the community and I can't put into words how much your friendship and constant support have meant to me.

There are so many other people I want to thank but I'm already rambling a lot. But I also want to thank @banananutsmuthie, @cataboliac, @iznsfw, and @ggidolsmuts for being amazing writers and friends. I didn't give you your own paragraphs but I promise I love you guys just as much. <3

Now for some statistics now that I'm entering my 3rd year. At the time of writing this post I have:

7,139 Followers

3,217 posts including reblogs

342 combined notes for Infinite Love Stories

968 combined notes for Island Paradise

1,532 combined notes for Office Politics

7,271 combined notes across all One Shots and Quickies

Considering how I pretty much neglect my series, the low note counts are to be expected. But overall a pretty good career so far, if I may humble brag.

Once again, I can't thank you all enough for being here and supporting me through this incredible journey. It's been such a wild ride with lots of ups and downs, but overall it's been an amazing time. All of your support has helped me through a lot the last two years.

Thank you all for being here the last two years, and hopefully we'll be together for more to come!

Hi!! First I want to say that A Fresh Start is absolutely my favorite thing I’ve ever read. I binge read it over the past week and I’m getting ready to re-read it. You write so amazingly that I was hoping I could ask you some questions? I’ve been trying to write a Din Djarin piece for a couple months now and I just hate it every time I read through it; and you write him so well! I am not new to the Star Wars fandom, my parents practically raised me on Star Wars, but I’m new to writing fan fiction for the Star Wars community. Do you do a lot of research to get the languages/terms? Do you also do a lot of research on the different worlds? When you’re writing do you pre-plan your plot or do you just write while it feels good? How extensively do you edit? I feel like editing is my downfall. Do you have any advice for for someone like me who is striving to be as good of a writer as you? 🥹 thank you and I can’t wait to read more of your writing!!

PS. Don’t feel like you have to answer this publicly or at all! I mostly just want to give you love on your writing because it is absolutely amazing!! 🩵🩵

OKAY FIRST OF ALL, YOU’RE SO FUCKING SWEET. Thank you so much omgg. And absolutely yes ask me all the questions. I will always answer (you didn’t even have to butter me up with compliments💁🏻‍♀️✨)

I love when people say they like how I write Din b/c I’m low-key just throwing a bunch of headcanons together and praying for the best lolol.

Long rambles ahead of me attempting to answer questions:

For Mando’a, I am not awesome at it. Some people are so way better. I had someone actually correct me once on the tense of a word and it blew my mind. However, I use this dictionary and this translator. I have no idea how accurate either is but I wing it from there lol.

I am a big researcher and it’s b/c I’m a perfectionist. I’m shockingly more lazy about it when it comes to Star Wars worlds. Like, I’ll search it up and get the big things (world name, setting, city names, etc.) but from there I just toss things in that I think would make sense? And in my last chapter of AFS, I just straight made up a world b/c I didn’t feel like doing research. I think that’s part of the beauty in working with a medium like Star Wars is that when it comes to setting you have a lot of free reign.

Ah. The age old question of ‘plotter vs pantser’. There are huge merits to both. For my original story, I have sat down and extensively plotted things out. Like a good little organized writer, which tbh is part of the reason why I’ve been lazy with it. Naturally, I am very much a pantser. I will come into a story with a vague idea of what I want, a few mental scenes I want to play with, but from there I just sort of let it roll. Writing fan fiction is like playing jazz for me. Very in the moment, improvisation, winging it.

Many times, I am surprised by my own ideas and that’s why it’s so much fun. Now, granted once I start writing a plot begins to form in my head. A rough outline. For example, in AFS, I started out with one idea: Domestic Din Djarin. And I had one scene in my head I specifically wanted to write: the scene where reader save a sick Grogu. So, I just started writing things and around chapter 6 or 7 my brain had a rough plan on where I wanted the story to go and how I want it to end, but I still leave it very open for if a new idea suddenly comes to me.

UGH EDITING SUUUUCKS. I go through one round of editing b/c otherwise it feels miserable. I write the chapter or the drabble without stopping to look back and edit. My only recommendation is ‘DONT EDIT WHILE YOU WORK’, b/c you end up getting stuck in this loop. Write it all out, just get it on paper, then read through it and edit afterwards.

I’ll type out a Drabble in google docs without re-reading it or editing it, then I post it over to Tumblr and when it’s on that new page win a different style I read through it and edit as I go. Then I hit post. (So if you come across errors in my work that’s why lolol)

My advice is don’t strive to be like me. (I mean I am totally honored to hear that you think I’m a great writer and want to be like me, that went STRAIGHT to my ego).

But what I mean is, never try to shape yourself into any other style. Don’t ever compare yourself to others. Because I guarantee you, right now, that you have skills and gifts that I probably can’t bring to the table. You are going to write something and just by it being in your voice you are creating something unique and beautiful. So don’t ever try to edit the way you write to match someone else b/c then you’d be depriving the world of your own voice. That being said the best advice I was ever given about improving my own writing skill and style was ‘JUST WRITE’ and it’s so hard lolol. B/c I wanna write but I don’t wanna write. You feel me? I just want all the words in my head to be on paper and that be it hahah. But the point of that is, it’s like any other skill or hobby or sport, the more you do it the better you become and the more comfortable you feel with your style.

I have no formal training in writing. My degree is in science, only took the baseline literature classes in college, so everything I know and do is self taught through trial and error. One of these days, I might post one of my early works b/c it is ATROCIOUS. Like literally godawful. I swear to you I’m not being humble, it was actual trash BUT IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE. The first things you create are not going to be brilliant or moving and they might even make yourself cringe when you look back on it, but as long as you had fun writing it that’s what matters. Then you keep writing and writing and writing and eventually you find your rhythm.

I started writing in the 7th grade. If you compare my 7th grade work to my 10th grade work, I improved by leaps and bounds. Compare my 10th grade work to my sophomore year of college works, again HUGE changes. Compare my college years of writing to what I do today? Even better.

I still have days where I’ll stare at a page and feel incompetent and illiterate. It happens. But I never gave up on writing, b/c it was truly what I loved to do, and gradually I found and solidified my voice. I don’t think I’m an extraordinary writer by any means, but I am confident in the words I use and the style I write in. And that makes me happy.

So, that was my VERY long winded way of saying: I am so proud of you, I think you're being harder on yourself than necessary (everyone is their own worst critic), and have fun. 💜

Omggg i just came back to tumblr after awhile and noticed youre posting SLOC again!!!

I was a huge fan back on fanfiction.net and I'm so exicted to see an updated (expanded?) verison!

genuinely a huge fan of your work and I cant wait to see more!

Lol updated AND expanded - I'll be adding in a few episodes I initially skipped over in the original, as well as a few that came out after I finished the original series (nothing post the episode What a Croc was out when I first finished SLOC). A few episodes will be removed as well, but no essential ones!

While I won't be redoing the big crossovers (I'm just no longer involved in those fandoms the way I used to be - I'll likely do a recap of them instead for any new readers), I do want to rewrite a lot of the original one-shot series as well. Not all of them - some of them I look back on and I just don't like at all and don't care to redo - but a decent chunk!

If you've been following me on AO3, you'll know that I've been posting SLOC oneshots in my fic The One Shot-inator - I'd love to be able to put them back in with their original series.

Also catch me over here creating my own Bex Cinematic Universe bc I will be keeping the Percy Jackson crossovers (PJO and PnF are the same in that they will always be my special interests), and I've also been considering writing a Rise!TMNT and SLOC crossover (and by considering I mean "its in the works currently") and if you really follow me you already know I've crossed over PJO with Rise so 😂 I'll just make them all overlap /hj

Anyway, that's a long winded rambling way of saying thank you sm for reading, I'm glad to see you back and I hope you enjoy the revamped fic!

what's Bebe's dynamic with the Blackbeard crew like? Obviously you ship her with Blackbeard but is she also shipped with the others?

ok insane rambling and some nsft soooo .. this post is going under the cut but

i mainly ship her with blackbeard buuut .. i feel like a lotta casual sex goes on in that crew so stuff w the others inevitably just happens lol? never planned to make bebe polyamorous bc i am very much not polyamorous irl but it just sorta started making sense once i started making bebe less of 'me' and more of her own character

bebe and blackbeard have a little lovey dovey thing going on bc i really like the gap moe of a big scary guy like him having a soft spot for my little mouse ^_^ not that hes not also rough and dominant with her too but. yknow. they have a special bond bc when they first meet he says some stuff that makes a big impact on her aaaand she baked him a real nice cherry pie so hes totally ride or die for her lol. i dont feel like retyping my whole ass backstory so heres bebe wiki screenshots

needless to say. important to her.

slightly less going on with the others but i would say yeah i still ship her with them

burgess and her sleep together for SURE bc um. hes hot as fuck. his huge muscles and confident charisma have captivated her .. hes an irresistable guy. i think her dynamic with him is more playful than her dynamic w teach and theres a lot of likeee him tossing her in the air and chasing her and pinning her down 🥰🥵 shes a weak little mousey but she really enjoys it

doc q and bebe are like genuine bffs bc theyre both sick forever .. chronic illness solidarity. their dynamic hovers somewhere between "platonic" and "holding each others cocks while they pee" its a special bond. they definately fuck nasty style but only when theyre not both too unwell lmao. bebe/doc started out genuinely just platonic but every day i realise more and more how fucking handsome he is so uh. call me in a week and ill probably tell you shes in love with him

van augur .. hm .. yknow i dont actually think about him and bebe that much bc i know a couple of people who ship their ocs with him already and their ocs usually spring to mind for augur before bebe! a lotta the stuff i have for her and augur is just her teasing him for being a big nerd hehe .. but sitting down and thinking about it .. sure. bebe and augur can kiss with tongue ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ if i do think about bebe/augur i usually think about my husbands transfem augur AU bc something about augur with tit growth does it for me lol

laffitte and bebe are mainly like. gossipy brunch friends who meet up for coffee and make fun of everyone else lol. also passive agressive to each other constantly. hes my least fav so they probably have the least romantic tension out of the original crew. something sexual going on tho. i think laffitte gets a little jealous of anyone who's close to blackbeard and they have weird sex about it where laffitte makes sure to let bebe uhm. know her place on the crew. hes taking his "chief of staff" position very seriously i guess

i have some stuff brewing for the later additions to the crew too but our household rewatch is only just up to impel down so i want to let myself mull them over more before i commit to any dynamics hehe

thanks for reading if u read this far. take this post timeskip bebe from my sketchpad as some kinda reward

i'm gonna do some more ooc posts just some deep dives on emma! sometimes it's cause it's being brought up in a thread and other times it just comes across my mind

tonights deep dive is: selecting her FC

so starting off when I was making Emma, I had a few set rules/guidelines I wanted to stick to when looking for a face claim

First, the two big eye color and hair color. In a lot of iterations of Joker, when his past self is shown (or just looking at the actor), a majority of the time he's born with brown hair and blue eyes. Eyes kinda vary a bit more, so I felt sticking to her getting brown hair from him to be a safe bet! Her mom, which I can go into detail on another dive, has blonde hair and brown eyes--so she gets her eyes from her mom.

Second, no big name actors. One reason is a lot of time when you see someone playing a teenager, they're like twenty-something and that was not the vibe I was going for. I wanted Emma to look more like a kid rather than a young adult, so that cut down a lot of options. Another reason is a lot of people have a lot of rules, and for one reason or another they might have an actor on their ban list. Totally respectable and understandable! But for someone who is planning to rp an OC, I don't want to lose my options because of that. Also, given how all the superhero franchises are just so HUGE, I did not want to pick someone who did ended up getting casted who'd ended up being in my universe.

So from there it was: find a lesser known actress with brown hair and brown eyes, who does not look like some young adult model.

I think from there I was going onto some website that had a like 'find an actor based off their features' search option and was scrolling through there for awhile. I honestly cannot remember any of the other contenders but once I saw Olivia Steele Falconer, I stuck to it!

Coincidentally, I actually already knew of the actress from her appearance on Once Upon A Time. The show, whose main character's name is Emma. So yeah, if you've seen that show you can see the parallels probably lol.

I've never been someone who likes to use icons in replies--I just overthink and stress out too much over them, so the lack of icons did not bother me too much! Olivia's character's style in OUAT is also nothing like Emma's, but she did some indie projects before the shore which majority of my photos are from! Thank goodness for her IMDB and her projects being on YouTube.

So as a treat for reading this crazy ramble, here's some random pics of her that I probably will not ever use.

She was one of the kids in that live action Fairly Odd Parents Movie (LOOK HOW TINY SHE IS)

This is her on Once Upon A Time. To be honest, I stopped watching the show around this time. She was like King Arthurs Daughter??? Something like that

I really love every outfit she did wear :,)

also they set up her character so much and just kinda??? forgot about her??? this show was a mess. i ate it up, but what a mess

Okay I’m obsessed with your Steddie fics and your harringrove fic (yours was actually the first harringrove fic I ever read) and now I’m really curious on if you have any thoughts on Steve/Eddie/Billy 👀 You always come up with such good stories for Steve/Tony/Bucky so I am really curious

THANK YOU!

I'm obsessed with them too. It's actually a little bit embarrassing lolol

I do have lots of initial thoughts on Steve/Eddie/Billy butttttt I think I need to understand the characters a little better before I pass any official judgment.

Like writing Stuckony actually helped me understand Stony better because I already loved Winteriron and figuring out how Steve would fit into that dynamic made it easier to write and fall in love with Stony.

But I've just barely started with Steddie and ever MORE recently attempted BillySteve so I'm hesitant to... say anything.

HOWEVER since you asked so nicely and since I will never hesitate to fucking RAMBLE about my favorite characters, I will say this:

I think any fic I wrote that was Steve/Eddie/Billy would be a BIG ONE. Because I definitely feel like the season 2 and 3 Steve who loved Billy is NOT the same person as season four Steve who loved Eddie. Like the difference in Steve between season three and four is CRAZY, he's at a different part in his life the trauma is REAL he's sort of resigned himself to life in Hawkins fighting terrible things and not going to college and sort of... being alone? Versus Season 2 Steve who is still a romantic and season 3 Steve who is disillusioned with life but not... hopeless.

So for ME to be comfortable writing it, I'd need a big fic, I'd need lots of words, I'd need Steve and Billy and Steve mourning when he loses Billy and barely making it htrough the next year till Eddie arrives and brings a little bit of that sunshine back into Steve's life and I'd need terrible coping and late nights and nightmares and kisses that are first desperate and then needy and then finally feelings when Eddie falls for Steve but post season four Steve is maybe a little afraid to love at all and then OH NO BILLY COMES BACK and we're healing and awkward conversations about where they'd been and where to go from here...

It would be alot.

The best thing about Stuckony is that I can go "local himbo couple falls for adorable pocket sized brunette" and that's all the background we need for a non powers stuckony fic.

But 'california beach boy meet cute with tired mother hen and pothead metalhead' is a little more complicated to throw all together lol.

I feel like if I didn't do a hugely canon era story, it would be like. College. Cos college brings the most random people together for the weirdest reasons. They could share a dorm, share an apartment, have the same classes the first year before specializing... bringing them modern makes it alot easier for me to picture than keeping it canon verse.

But like CHEERS for reading my fics, honestly the ST fandom has been so great and so interactive with me it's amazing. I love it. Keep it up. I'm currently on Covid leave for work so I'm doing exactly nothing with my life except writing and answering messages and being continuously flustered by Billy scenes and then smiling like a goddamn doofus at all the Steddie content in season four and i have TIME to talk!