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j-a-nuary · 10 months

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Date Roulette: Jiyong

Tuesday

Intro Week Start

Seungri Week Start

Daesung Week Start

Taeyang Week Start

Seunghyun Week Start

Jiyong Week Start

=====

Warning level: suggestive (higher end of suggestive)

=====

I woke up with my head smushed against Jiyong's shirt, and his arms wrapped tightly around my body. Which is to say: I woke up confused. I remembered everything, but I couldn't really make sense of it.

I was not the type to back down from a building argument. At least, I tried not to be. And kissing him again? I knew how I had gotten there, but in the light of day I just couldn't make the logic work out the same as it had last night.

But I could work that stuff out later. Right now, I had to peel a human banana clip off of myself and track down a production… assistant? Director? It occurred to me that I didn't actually know what Chul's job title actually was.

Again, not a priority at the moment.

I shook my head, trying to knock loose the cobwebs that had accumulated in there overnight. I immediately regretted the action as an invisible band tightened itself around my temples.

Muffling a groan, I rolled towards the edge of the bed, finding my escape from his clutches easier than I had expected.

Jiyong only let out a soft whine, but stayed asleep. I grabbed one of the pillows and pushed it towards his arms. He readily accepted it, pulling it into his body in a stranglehold.

=====

Once I was above deck, I located a staff person that I vaguely recognized. I had seen her around a few times, typically with an assortment of cords in her hands.

This morning however, she was leaning against a railing. In one hand she had some sort of snack bar, in the other she seemed to be scrolling through sns.

As I approached, she gave me an apologetic look - covering her somewhat full mouth and bowing. I waved a hand and shook my head, hoping I was coming off as nonchalant and not grimacing too much from the growing dizziness between my eyes.

"Sorry for interrupting," I started, "I just wanted to know if Chul is around."

"Mm," she paused, finishing chewing before continuing, "he's still downstairs. I guess he's got motion sickness pretty bad."

"Ah," I frowned, "I was hoping to talk to him before everything really got started today."

"Hmm…" she looked a little unsure.

"Please."

After a second, she nodded. "I'll show you," she offered.

I followed her back below deck.

=====

The room was smaller. Substantially so. Obviously meant as staff quarters.

It annoyed me, but I figured I'd gone on enough anti-capitalist tangents before. Besides, if Chul wasn't feeling well there was no reason for me to bring more negativity to him.

I also had something more urgent to address.

Chul looked like shit. He was rumpled. Hair stuck out at odd angles, wrinkled clothes, and that wince of illness. He was busy shaking some tablets onto his hand.

"Hey," I took a seat on an empty bunk, "anything I can do to help?"

He shook his head, wincing again.

"I've got dramamine and pain killers," he huffed, "I'll live. What's up?"

I sunk into myself slightly, feeling a little guilty that I was - once again - coming to him for a favor.

"I…" I paused as another staffer came in for a moment. They grabbed a bag and left without a word. Wordlessly, Chul handed me the bottle of pills. Taksen. I took two, nodding in thanks as he handed over a bottle of water as well.

I waited an extra second after swallowing the pills before starting again.

"I'm worried about this week."

Chul nodded, silently urging me to continue.

"I woke up and…" I blinked, brows dipping as I thought it over again, "I can't make sense of last night."

"Yeah," he agreed, "I didn't expect you two to get over things so quickly."

"Exactly!" I nodded - ignoring the headache, "it's like Ji… he just knows how to get past my guard somehow."

Chul hummed, a thoughtful look taking over his features.

"But… what does this have to do with me?" He asked.

"I… I don't know. I just wanted…" I frowned. What did I want? Someone to keep an eye on me? Someone to talk to?

"I just wanted to know if I was crazy or not for thinking it was strange."

He laughed. Not at me. More of a what can I say sort of laugh.

"The whole thing is strange. Has anything happened to you this last month that isn't strange?"

I rolled my eyes, huffing at him and crossing my arms.

"Okay," I conceded, "but this is extra strange. I couldn't stand his jealousy, but one conversation later I let him sleep in my bed?"

Chul lifted an eyebrow, teasing me.

"Shut up," I snapped, "nothing happened. Just sleep."

He shook his head, raising his hands as if showing his innocence.

"But it's still weird!" I pushed. "I remember the conversation. That one bit shouldn't have been enough."

He sighed, shrugging.

"This whole thing between you two has been a roller coaster. Maybe this is just another up."

I groaned, but didn't speak. He had something close to a point.

"You just have to survive a few days. Tomorrow is a group day, then Sunday as well."

"You know that this won't just end on Sunday," I grumbled.

"True," he leaned forward, patting my knee reassuringly, "but we can worry about that next week. For now, let's just focus on today."

"Fine," I agreed, "but just…"

I stumbled over my words again.

Luckily, Chul knew what I was getting at.

"Hey, I can always make up some technical interruption if you need me to. Not forever, but for five minutes at least."

I nodded. Standing up, I placed a hopefully not overly familiar hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you Chul," I squeezed his shoulder slightly, "seriously."

He nodded.

=====

I had hoped that Jiyong would be gone by the time I returned to my cabin. Or at least still dead asleep. Instead he sat up when I entered, pouting over my pillow at me.

I froze, just for a second. Thankfully, he seemed sleepy enough to have missed it.

"You left me alone," he croak-whined.

"I figured you could use the sleep," I shrugged. I sat on the edge of the bed and hauled my backpack from where I had stashed it on the little armchair yesterday.

His pout stayed in place as he shoved the pillow behind himself and lifted his arms towards me.

"Come back to me, my love."

I cringed at the endearment. It sounded hollow somehow.

"Luna?"

I looked up, meeting his gaze. His eyebrows were drawn together, and he appeared to be giving me a thorough looking over.

"Hmm?"

He didn't immediately answer. Instead, he sat up and leaned forward. Supporting himself on his knees and one hand, he reached forward and pushed the hair out of my face.

"Are you not feeling well? I'm sure I have medicine or something with me."

I shook my head, pulling away from his hand.

"No," I turned my attention back to my bag, "I already got something from Chul."

Jiyong crawled forward, invading the space next to me.

'What did he give you?"

I shrugged, still searching through my bag. "Just something for my headache. You know how it i- Ah there it is!"

I held my toothbrush aloft in triumph.

Jiyong smiled, presumably at my antics, but continued his questioning.

"But what specifically?"

"Why does it matter?" I retorted, moving towards the ensuite so I could finally brush my teeth. I laughed at Jiyong's expression, now looking extra concerned. "I doubt he'd try to drug me or something."

"Of course," he nodded slowly, "he'd have to be a psycho to do something like that."

He moved awkwardly, getting himself untangled from the bed so he could follow me.

"Still," he took up residence behind me now, sneaking a hand around my stomach as I brushed my teeth, "it might react poorly with that tea."

I rolled my eyes at him through the mirror. I felt crowded, but resisted the urge to push him away. Maybe it was the… was this a hangover? PMS? Regardless, there was an uncomfortable feeling lingering through my body that I couldn't help interpreting as danger.

Jiyong took my lack of rejection as encouragement. He hooked his chin on my shoulder and lifted his free hand to brush my hair back from my face.

"I want to make sure that you're safe, my love."

That was going to get real old, real fast.

I shrugged myself from his clutches, spitting and rinsing my mouth before speaking.

"It was just Taksen," I turned to face, fixing what I felt was the fakest smile I had ever worn onto my face, "I'm sure I'll be fine Ji."

=====

We had lunch on the boat, a vegetarian take on naengmyeon.

"You know," I broke a not quite awkward silence as we ate, "I used to hate soup."

Jiyong looked up from his dish, frowning slightly.

"I'm sure they could make something else."

"No," I shook my head, "this is fine. I just was against soup on principle."

Jiyong blinked, squinted, and finally placed his elbow onto the tabletop and his chin into his palm.

"On principle."

It wasn't exactly a question, but it was clear he wanted further information.

"Well," I lifted my spoon, observing its contents closely. After a moment, I downed the liquid before continuing. "Soup is different back home." I held the spoon up, now watching the way the sunlight reflected off its surface.

Jiyong patiently watched my antics.

"Mostly it just seemed like someone made a meal and then," I shrugged, "decided to put it in water."

Jiyong looked down at his own bowl, brows drawing together as he considered the food before him.

"How is that different than this?"

I shrugged again. "Soup here seems to be done on purpose."

His frown deepened for a moment. Then, after shaking his head, he burst out laughing.

"What?" I asked, unable to remain serious in the face of his outburst, "what's so funny?"

"I just," he shook his head again before leaning forward and resting his chin in his palm, "never know what you're going to say next."

A month ago - hell even a week ago - I would have expected that sentiment to be accompanied by a frown. Disapproval of what and how I choose to be. Now however…

He seemed to have forgotten his food, simply gazing at me with something like wonder writ across his face.

"Eat," I nodded towards his bowl.

His smile deepened. Shaking his head, his lips parted to speak.

"I-"

"Don't tell me you're full by watching me," I cut him off. "You need to eat."

He let out an abrupt laugh, but lifted his spoon regardless.

=====

I wasn't sure if it was exactly typical for yachts to pull up on Sindo. From what I could see, the boat that we were on was the only non-ferry visible. There was some discussion between pier staff, show staff, and even Jiyong himself at one point, before we were able to fully… park? I made a mental note to look up proper boating terminology.

Something about the way that Jiyong returned from the conversation sent a flag up in my mind. He looked sheepish, but happy - victorious, but a little shy. He had a bounce in his step that translated to his silly straw sun hat flopping slightly as he approached.

He looked like a dad on vacation that had just gotten a bargain.

"Is everything okay?" I asked as soon as he was close enough to talk to.

"Yes," he quickly answered. "I just have to, ah…" that slightly embarrassed look replaced his smile for a second.

"You didn't bribe them, did you?"

He laughed, but didn't answer. Not directly anyway.

"The manager's wife is a fan," he explained. "I just offered to sign a picture."

I squinted at him, trying to play up my disapproval.

"Jagi~," he stepped closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "I got us a spot, right?"

I pursed my lips, letting out a "hmmph" noise.

"I did well," he wiggled my shoulders back and forth, teasing, "right jagiya?"

"I guess it's okay," I gave him a sidelong look, "as long as we're not breaking a law or anything."

A slightly confused look took over his features for a moment as he tilted his head.

"I don't think so," he murmured, "even if there is one, it will only be a fine."

I sighed deeply, remembering a phrase that my friends back home and I used to say pretty often: 'Punishable by a fine' just means 'legal for rich people.'

=====

We navigated renting some scooters, including two bigger ones that were more like golf carts for the staff and their gear, and headed out. It was already near noon when we had arrived, so we stopped in a small cafe for something to eat before heading towards Modo.

It was something like a break, but not really. Jiyong had suggested we share a scooter, but I had wanted a little bit of extra freedom.

"Think of the show," Jiyong pouted.

"I am," I countered. "Just imagine how fun it will be for the audience when I inevitably run off on my own and you have to chase me down."

I heard Chul snort out a laugh somewhere off camera at that.

"My love," Jiyong's pout deepened, "think of the way their hearts will flutter when you put your hands around my waist."

I shook my head, rolling my eyes for good measure.

"That's actually dangerous. If anything I'd have to grab your hips or shoulders," I shrugged. "Holding your waist messes with your center of balance."

The pout was gone. In its place was a blank stare, seasoned by a few blinks.

In the end, I allowed him to "convince" me. Truth be told, I was beginning to have a headache again, and I figured I might be better off if I let him "drive". I also begged another painkiller off Chul, who made a point of holding the back of his hand to my forehead and squinting at my eyes and hands.

"Do I pass the inspection?"

Chul's eyes narrowed, "for now. Here."

With that, I was handed a tablet, a bottle of water, and a helmet before settling in behind Jiyong on the little moped.

=====

The air on my face felt nice, doing a little bit to clear the ache in the center of my forehead. It also helped that most of what I could smell was salt, mud, and algae. I breathed deep, shutting my eyes to block any potential motion sickness from compounding the horrendously loud pounding of blood in my ears.

I was a little disappointed at missing most of the view while we rode. I had searched the island online when the plan was initially proposed and knew that I was surrounded by greenery and farms. I hoped I'd be able to see them on the way back.

At first, I was a little bitter about going to Modo with Jiyong. It was on my list, buried in my liked photos on my private Instagram. Somehow, I doubted Jiyong knew that though. Much more likely was the chance that he simply looked up day trips on the islands and things to do.

Not that that was a bad approach. I had simply been spoiled by Seunghyun and Daesung's attentiveness.

I allowed myself a moment of malcontent before convincing myself not to let petty details ruin Baemikkumi for me.

Getting an afternoon snack also helped. I excused myself to the bathroom after ordering, taking an extra moment to pat some cool water over my face and neck. The day was hot, extra humid due to being on the series of islets.

It also gave me a moment to respond to messages that I had been ignoring.

From: Hugeboy Any clarity on that mysterious situation you were in? σ(^_^;)? From: Hugeboy Ah… I know you're probably just busy but still it feels a bit… From: Hugeboy I want to call you From: Hugeboy But I don't want to be a bother From: Hugeboy I miss you ｡･(つд`｡)･｡ From: Hugeboy Maybe I should be embarrassed about saying that From: Hugeboy No! I don't care if it's embarrassing! From: Hugeboy I! Miss! You! ♡♡♡♡♡ (*T^T)

I couldn't help but to half smile, half pout, at his messages. Reading back over them I couldn't help but feel a little bad about not having responded. Still, I supposed I had a pretty good reason. At least on Sunday.

To: Hugeboy Would you believe me if I said I miss you too? To: Hugeboy I had a sort of… medical issue?? To: Hugeboy Nothing serious. Just stress. To: Hugeboy Honestly, I think I'm still recovering.

For perhaps the second time ever, he didn't instantly respond. Well, that's only fair. I checked my other messages.

From: Zico You know what I'm going to say, right? ㅋㅋㅋ From: Zico I think he's really lost it this time From: Zico Seriously… are you a witch or something? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

That last message had been accompanied by a blurry video of what appeared to be Mino. He sat with his phone in his hands, staring at it with an obvious pout on his lips. I couldn't truly make out what he was saying, but I could tell it was something like:

"... doesn't… nothing…"

A few seconds before the video ended, a new message came in from Zico.

From: Zico

I would ask why Mino just texted me asking for advice on playing it cool, but I think I already know the answer.

I snorted a laugh and quickly typed a reply.

To: Zico Why should he start now?

To: Hugeboy I like that you're embarrassing~~ ♡ To: Hugeboy Better to be embarrassing and real than to be cold and uncaring From: Hugeboy Fine! I miss you more than makes sense (*T^T) From: Hugeboy When can I see you? To: Hugeboy I don't know. I'm sorry. From: Hugeboy It's not your fault ＼(_ _) To: Hugeboy Still… To: Hugeboy I have to go. I'll message you again soon I promise.

With that, I clicked my phone back to locked, and headed back outside.

=====

Jiyong insisted we rehydrate, a set of iced teas mixed with fruit juice already on the table when I returned.

"Making sure to take care of me?" I teased him.

"I always take care of you."

At Jiyong's suggestion, plenty of photographs were taken. Primarily of me. I did offer a few times to take pictures of him, but he'd simply shake his head and say he had enough photos of him to last a lifetime.

That seemed both reasonable and a little unfair. Not to him. He was right. Nobody needed more photos of him. But it was unfair to put me in the spotlight with so little warning.

Once we were in the park, it was every few minutes with him. He'd point at something and ask me to pose next to it. As if I knew the first thing about posing.

I tried to push the negativity out of my mind. For years I had been the photographer for my friends. Ninety percent of the photos that existed of me were mirror selfies, or taken using a makeshift tripod and the timer function. I took a moment to be grateful for the influx of proof of life provided over the last few weeks.

Besides, the picture of me being held in giant metal hands did come out nicely.

=====

Just a short while later, Jiyong was sulking.

Well, not actually. He was playing it up for sympathy, scowling as the yacht pulled closer to the dock on the mainland. I pretended that I hadn't noticed.

"It's a shame," I said as casually as I could.

I was rewarded with shining puppy eyes from Jiyong.

"We didn't even get a chance to go into the ocean water this whole time."

Jiyong grimaced. Obviously, this was not what he had been hoping to hear. No doubt he would have liked for me to say I wished we could spend another night on the boat. Or perhaps that I didn't want to return to the house.

Truth be told, I was itching to get into the giant tub in my room. I couldn't wait to stretch out in a familiar bed again.

But the summer sun was still well above the horizon, so I was willing to bet that the approaching dock was not the end of the day.

=====

We ended our day at a bar masquerading as a barbecue restaurant. Nothing fancy, thank god. Just a little meat, a few vegetables, and a small gas fire to cook them over.

And soju.

Of course soju.

I contemplated the mushroom tipped shaft before me, pretending to ignore the shot that Jiyong had placed beside my plate.

"Come on," he whined slightly, meat tongs now back in hand. "Don't make me drink alone."

I sighed, biting the earthy brown cap off the skewer in my hand before turning to down the drink.

"That's my girl."

I made a point of rolling my eyes at his words. He just laughed and tossed back his own drink.

He's in a good mood. We had been in that weird confrontation for so long that I had forgotten about this version of him. Relaxed, happy, not mistaking jokes for attacks - this was the version of him I had fallen for in those early days.

"Hey."

I blinked, shaking my head slightly as I came back into the moment. The cup next to my plate was full again. I reached out to take it, but two fingers fell across the top to stop me. Looking up, I saw Jiyong watching me with that soft look he had been wearing for the last two days.

"Where'd you go?"

The seat I was in didn't really have a back to it, otherwise I would have leaned back. As it was, I supported myself with an elbow on the edge of the table.

"I was just thinking. About the beginning."

A moment of silence passed between us then. For me, it was reflective. For him… well…

He shook himself out of it and set the food aside so it didn't burn. After making sure everything was safely set, he sat down facing me. He shuffled to the edge of his seat and reached forward to grab the legs of mine to pull me closer.

"What?" It felt like a reasonable enough question.

"It can be like that again, jagiya."

He picked up my hand from the table, winding it into his own. His thumb brushed over my fingers for a moment before he pulled my palm to his cheek. Quickly, he pressed a kiss against my hand before securely holding it against his skin.

"I can make it like that again," he stared, an intensity that made my skin flush but also crawl.

"Ji," I tried to pull my hand away.

"No," he renewed his grip, pressing another kiss against my fingers before continuing, "I'll do whatever I need to do to make you realize that it should be me."

I experience an odd mix of reactions to that. My neck tensed, hairs prickling up off my skin as if his words had sent a cold breeze across my back. I felt goosebumps raise over my arms.

On the other hand, my stomach swooped and fluttered. A warmth spread down from my gut, part of my body clearly reacting well to the earnestness of his words.

"Just let me prove it to you this week."

=====

I silently wished that we had taken one of the company cars to the pier yesterday. Not necessarily one of the giant vans, but just something with another driver. A chaperone.

As we hadn't, I was stuck in Jiyong's car with him. Not that I thought he'd do anything too scandalous. There were still cameras in his car after all.

No, it was a more internal issue than that. With an external cause. That I was internally incapable of solving.

Jiyong's hand was on my thigh.

Which was fine. It was fine. It was a respectful enough distance between my knee and my hip. It was simply resting there, largely inactive save for a few swipes of his thumb over my skin. It was fine. I could deal with this.

Except for that gut churning warmth from before that was still sitting behind my waistband. Except for the tell-tale sensation of my body preparing itself for something that it was not going to get.

But it was nice. In a way.

I glanced at Jiyong, which may have been a mistake. I don't like to think of myself as being shallow but good lord the budding tension would be easier to prune back if he wasn't so fucking pretty.

=====

Finally we were back home, as much as that word meant anything anymore.

I was glad to be back in the house. I tried to remember where I was in my cycle. Had I last had my period during Seungri's week? Maybe it had been Daesung's? It wasn't totally out of the question that my hormones were simply amped up.

It usually wasn't this noticeable though. I was overtly aware of the wetness between my legs. Every step I took was accompanied by a naggingly persistent glide of self-lubricated flesh.

In a number of different situations, it would be titillating. In this one it was almost concerning.

"I'm going to head to bed," I was perhaps a bit curt with my words, but I was aching to get into the bathroom and clean myself up.

"Are you feeling okay?" Genuine concern filtered through Jiyong's words.

Maybe I wasn't doing as good of a job covering as I had thought.

"I'm fine," I cleared my throat. Doing my best not to meet his eye, I came up with a weak excuse. "I'm just tired from traveling and everything."

In the periphery of my vision, I was aware that he was nodding. I pretended to focus on putting my shoes away neatly.

"Jagi," his hand found my wrist, "I…"

I forced myself to meet his eye. He really was so fucking pretty.

I wasn't aware that my mouth had opened until I felt his thumb brush over my bottom lip. When had his hand reached my face?

Against my better judgment, my tongue dipped out - primarily to wet my lips, but incidentally lapping at his skin.

He even tasted pretty.

This close, I could see the blemishes underneath his makeup.

"Oh you guys are back."

Jiyong pulled away from me, scalded by embarrassment or annoyance.

Taeyang stood in the openway, in all the glory of what I was sure was one half of a matching couple's pajama set, holding a glass of water. His eyes shifted between the two of us. There may as well have been chemical formulas flying around his head with how hard he was staring at us.

Good lord I was glad to see him. His presence had been exactly the shock I needed to escape whatever was going on with me. Hormones, alcohol… whatever it was, I was glad for the distraction.

"I'll go first," I mumbled, carefully avoiding touching either of them as I moved.

=====

My body bounced with the force I had thrown myself at the mattress. The inspection I had given myself in the shower had confirmed what I already knew. I debated texting Daesung, weighing the chances of us somehow getting caught. Typically I'd have no problem staying quiet, but with how amped up I was… there was really no telling.

Though I had teased him about tying him to the bed. What better time to try it than ri-

My thoughts were cut off by a tapping at the glass doors. Scrambling for decency's sake, I retracted my hand that had been making its way between my legs of its own accord. I tightened my robe around myself before pulling the curtain aside just enough to see who was there.

I was greeted by raised eyebrows paired with one hand holding a bottle, and the other holding a pair of wine glasses. The eyebrows jumped comically. Laughing, I took a step back and unlocked the door to pull it open.

"I thought you might need to debrief."

I shrugged, making my way to the seat by the vanity.

"It's legitimately strange how well you know me sometimes."

Seunghyun just smiled as he toed off his shoes and slid the door shut behind him. After being prompted by a pointed nod from me, he made sure the curtains were back in place as well - a shield for our private conversations.

"I heard he took you on a boat," Seunghyun stated it like a fact, but I could tell he wanted confirmation.

I hummed, watching him uncork the bottle and pour us both a glass. His fingers were deft and swift. They moved with confidence through the series of motions.

"-by? Yah…"

I shook my head, pulling myself back to the moment.

"Sorry," I frowned, "what were you saying?"

He chuckled, holding a glass out towards me. I stood to take it, standing perhaps a little closer to him than was absolutely necessary.

He held his glass towards me. Raising my own, I lightly tapped it against his.

He gave me a pointed look.

"No," I said, "you should drink first oppa."

He raised an eyebrow at that, but he also raised his glass. After allowing him to take his time to taste the wine and swallow, I spoke up again.

"How is it?"

"Jammy," he said after considering his words carefully, "a little tart. Not bad."

I hummed.

He had to have known what I was doing. No way was I subtle about it.

He didn't stop me though.

I couldn't really make out such details that would lead to the descriptor of "jammy", but I could taste the remnants of sweetness and sourness well enough on his tongue.

After a moment I pulled away. Lifting my hand, I thumbed away an invisible droplet from his lips. The thumb was then placed against my own, my tongue coming out to taste it in a much more acceptable adaptation of the earlier moment with Jiyong.

Trained as they were on his face, it didn't escape my eyes the way Seunghyun's attention was locked onto the movement.

"Put that away before you cause trouble," his voice sounded strained when he spoke.

"Hmm…" I smiled up at him, "don't want to."

He took a moment to carefully place both of our glasses further back on the vanity. Straightening up afterwards, he took another moment to look me over. One of his arms looped around my back, pulling me close as his eyes ran over my face, neck, and assorted other spots of exposed skin.

Eventually, his eyes landed back on mine.

"How are you feeling?"

What a loaded question. I had already been fighting a losing battle against an unexpected wave of arousal when he showed up. I was a little embarrassed that all thoughts of Daesung had been pushed from my mind until this exact moment. That of course led to a brief detour into shame. That particular spiral was then cut short by how good Seunghyun's fingers felt on my skin when he reached up to brush my hair from my face.

His stern features were soft. It was a look that I kept seeing from him more and more often. A look I could see myself getting used to.

A look that simplified my answer.

"Good."

He nodded, serious as ever.

"A little more…" I tilted my head, thinking of how to describe it, "awake than I expected," I admitted.

There was a moment then. We both seemed to be waiting for something, but I didn't know what that might be.

It turned out to be my tongue. Once again, I slid it over my lips. More from nerves than anything else.

Seunghyun dropped his head slightly to press his lips against mine.

I hoped he wouldn't hold the sound I made against me. It was embarrassing enough just to have such a strong reaction to him. My head spun, thinking about the ups and downs of our dynamic over the last month. Or maybe it was from the kiss itself.

We had kissed before. Obviously. But this was different. This was a fight against a riptide, and I was more than willing to drown.

"Baby," Seunghyun was mumbling against my lips.

I groaned, annoyed at the attempted interruption.

"Baby."

He forced us apart this time. It was like he was determined to ruin the vibe.

"What?" I couldn't help the annoyed tone that slipped into my voice.

Confusion flashed over his face for a moment before he hardened his gaze.

"What happened?"

I blinked. I was not following his train of thought at all.

"What… you mean with Jiyong?"

He nodded, solemnly watching me.

"Nothing," I shrugged. "We went on a boat, we went to a sculpture park, we…"

I cut myself off. Did it really matter? A momentary lapse in judgment in a yacht hot tub with a man who was functionally my ex?

"Baby," softer this time, "you don't have to hide anything from me."

"We…" I huffed, then started again, "I…"

Seunghyun maneuvered the both of us, moving so he could sit at the vanity and pull me onto his lap.

"Take your time."

I let him pull me into him. Resting my head against his shoulder, reveling in the feeling of his hands soothing down my back. Breathing deeply, I could smell some faint cologne struggling to cover up that ever present tobacco scent that clung to him.

"It's stupid." I was pouting again, but trying not to let it color my voice too much. I'd much rather go back to the kissing than talk about how Jiyong could seemingly climb inside my skull at will.

"What is?"

"Me," I moved against him, getting my head into a more comfortable position. If that position also put me in closer reach of teasing his neck and ear… he didn't seem to notice, "probably."

"We both know that's not true," he laughed.

I didn't protest, but I didn't agree either. Instead, I simply sighed heavily, trying to sneak my lips onto where I could feel his pulse in his neck.

"Baby," he gently admonished me. His hands pulled me upright to meet his eyes again. "You know I'd love to keep going, but you also know this is a coping mechanism."

I rolled my eyes, "don't pretend you know me better than I know myself."

That got a reaction out of him.

His hand raised, tightly gripping my chin so there was no way I could look away again.

"Listen to me baby," his voice had gone deep with the intensity of his message, "I would have no issue fucking you until you couldn't walk, if that's what you truly wanted."

Another embarrassing sound eked its way up my throat and out from between my lips.

Seunghyun paused his lecture to kiss me, rougher than I had expected. He bit my lower lip, pulling a groan from me as he pulled back.

"However," he shook my chin slightly, demanding my attention raise from his lips to his eyes again, "I will only do so when I am one hundred percent certain that it is what you want and not just a distraction."

What was there for me to do besides blink? And after that, what option did I have but to start crying?

"Baby," he dropped his grip from my chin and tugged me against his body in a tight hug. "Oh, sweetheart, don't cry. I'm sorry baby. Please don't cry."

"I… I just don't understand…" I sobbed, embarrassment no longer a concern. "How…. He… Ji…"

"Deep breath baby," he crooned into my ear. He started rocking slightly, obviously going all out in his attempt to comfort me. "Breathe for me. You have all night to tell me what happened."

I'm sure all eloquence was lost as I tried to explain through unintelligible sobs and the deep breaths that Seunghyun would occasionally remind me to take, but eventually I was able to explain my concerns. At least to the point that Seunghyun eventually started telling me that I didn't need to explain anymore.

"It's okay, baby," his voice was low, quietly reassuring me, "I understand."

"The worst part is I don't even know why I care," I whined, "I just want him out of my head."

By now, we had made our way onto my bed. Seunghyun laid on his side, arms pulling me protectively into his chest while I had rambled out my complaints.

"Just being around him is like getting drunk," I mumbled. "I feel defenseless."

"You-"

A knock on the glass doors interrupted him. He frowned, looking down at me questioningly.

"Did you invite Daesung down?"

I shook my head, nerves twisting my gut.

"Maybe he want-"

My text tone interrupted me. Shuffling to free my hand from between Seunghyun's and my bodies, I turned to grab it from where I had dropped it on the mattress earlier.

From: Llyong Boho Awake?

I shut my eyes, holding my phone up for Seunghyun to see. I felt the soft vibration of another message coming in while he looked at the screen.

Seunghyun's jaw tightened. He took the phone from my hand and sat up.

"Don't…"

He leaned down to press a kiss against my forehead.

"I'm not going to message him. Just wait here for a moment, okay? I'll tell him you're sleeping."

I nodded, wondering why he looked so tense.

He stood up and ran his hands through his hair a few times. Back and forth, messing it up and then smoothing it back. After a second he undid the buttons of his shirt, all of them undone before he misbuttoned one near the middle. He paused for half a second. Nodding to himself, he then took his belt off. He let the leather strap land on my floor before he turned his attention back to me.

"Unlock your phone."

I pressed my thumb against the fingerprint reader and handed it over to him.

"Thank you baby. Pull the blanket over yourself, okay?"

I did as he asked, going as far as turning to face away from the sliding doors so Jiyong wouldn't see my face.

I heard the plastic rattling sound of the curtain runners, followed by the whooshing noise of the sliding door opening.

"What do you need?"

"What are you doing here?"

The crunching of gravel, followed by the whoosh of the door. I assumed Seunghyun had stepped outside.

It was a little disappointing to not be able to hear the conversation. However, I could appreciate not being drawn into it at all.

After maybe fifteen minutes, there was that whoosh yet again. I felt my body tense up.

"Baby?"

I relaxed, turning over to look up at Seunghyun. He gave me a small smile.

"He went back upstairs."

I nodded, "you didn't have to do that."

He placed my phone on the bedside table before unbuttoning his shirt again.

"I know, but I'd rather I deal with him than make you do it."

He moved as he spoke, draping his shirt over the seat by the vanity before turning back towards me. He nodded at the space next to me on the bed.

"Can I?"

Rather than answer, I simply opened my arms towards him.

His smile was wider this time, as he bent down to crawl up the mattress and over my body.

Supporting himself on his knees and forearms, he brushed his nose along my neck. It was followed by his lips pressing against my jaw.

"Hyun…" I sighed out his name as what had started as me baring more of my neck towards him turned into a stretch.

"Yes?" He asked, pulling away to watch me.

I traced my fingertips over his ribs and onto his back, pouting slightly. "Don't stop."

He moved, working one of his knees between mine and coming in for a kiss.

Just shy of my lips, he spoke again.

"I'm still not going to fuck you tonight."

I whined, digging my nails into his back to further express my annoyance.

He laughed, leaning onto his side slightly so he could run a hand down the side of my body.

"If you need me that badly," he paused to kiss my cheek lightly, "there are other things I can do."

His fingers paused, dipped just slightly under the waistband of my pajama shorts.

"Would you like that baby?"

#date roulette #dr:bb #dr:jy #bigbang fic #bigbang fanfic #bigbang x oc #bigbang #big bang fic #big bang fanfic #big bang x oc #jiyong #kwon jiyong #seunghyun #choi seunghyun #t.o.p #g dragon

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j-a-nuary · 2 years

Text

Date Roulette: Seunghyun

Friday

Intro Week Start Seungri Week Start Daesung Week Start Taeyang Week Start Previous Next

-----

I was becoming entirely too comfortable. Too comfortable with not making plans. Too comfortable with waking up in strange beds.

Too comfortable with Seunghyun.

Literally.

I had never been a believer in the idea that men were strictly big spoon cuddlers. My time with Daesung was enough proof of that. But with the way Seunghyun acted like a bit of a guard dog at times, I would never have taken him for the little spoon type.

But his head was resting on me, squished somewhat between my bicep and chest. His arms had managed to keep themselves securely around my waist as we slept, and he had practically bundled himself against me.

I started to move, stretching slightly. It drew a groan from him.

"Don't move," he grumbled, nuzzling his head deeper into my arm.

"We have to get going."

"Why?"

I raised my hand not currently pinned by his head and pushed the hair off of his face.

He was being… cute? That sounded about right. Cute.

It felt like a foreign word when applied to Seunghyun. And not foreign in the way I had become accustomed to. It wasn't just a new word, or one which I didn't know the meaning of. It was foreign like those words that didn't have a translation. Those definitions that go on for a paragraph.

I blinked, remembering that he had asked a question.

"Because they need to get in here and clean the room for the next guest."

He groaned, rolling to press his face directly into the mattress. As if he could escape downwards.

"I'll just extend it another night."

"But we need to get back to Seoul."

"Why?"

"For… uh…"

He had a point. We were the show. The show staff was here with us, bare bones as it was.

"We need clean clothes."

"I'll buy some."

"The crew needs clean clothes."

"I just said I'd buy some."

"I want to go back."

He groaned again, sounding less annoyed this time.

Our skin stuck slightly as he pulled his arms away from me. Pushing himself upwards, he nodded.

"Okay. Just let me…"

He didn't finish his sentence. Scrambling to stand up, it was the first time I had ever seen him look even slightly off balance.

I blinked, quickly rolling away from him. I had forgotten that he had only been in his boxers and undershirt. They were not by any stretch of the imagination revealing, but it seemed only polite and, in some way, correct to lend him the privacy as he pulled his pants on.

I felt the bed dip behind me, followed by the sensation of the sheet being pulled over my thighs and side.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "your skirt…"

"Right," I stayed facing away from him, "thanks."

I reached down and tugged the sheets further up my body.

-----

That was how our morning shuffle continued. Avoiding looking too directly at each other. Being a little hyper aware of the rumpled appearance of our day-old clothing. Incomplete sentences.

It got real old, real fast. Literally nothing had happened. There was precisely zero reason for us to be acting like teens who got caught.

"Did he ever reply to your picture?" I finally asked between bites of a sandwich.

Despite my request that morning to go back to Seoul, I had looked up nearby restaurants and chosen a place for breakfast. I did want to get back eventually, but there was no harm in taking a bit of extra time before leaving. Just as long as I slept in "my" room tonight, I would be relatively happy.

Seunghyun shook his head, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He tapped the screen, then shook his head again.

"Nothing."

He held his phone out. I could only see the last bit of Jiyong's last message at the top of the chat, and I wasn’t about to scroll up to see more.

From: KJY get home.

To: KJY [Image]

To: KJY You know I'll take care of her. Relax.

The picture showed my head on his chest. His fingers were in my hair, and I looked for all the world like I was peacefully asleep.

Perhaps because I had been.

"When…?"

"You fell asleep pretty fast, and I didn't think I could move without waking you up."

That explained this morning, somewhat.

"So what does it mean when he doesn't respond?"

Seunghyun smirked, taking his phone back.

"Do you want to go to the beach before we head back?"

I narrowed my eyes at his piss-poor attempt at changing the subject.

"Hyun."

He rolled his eyes before answering.

"He's definitely overthinking," his smile widened to a full grin, "and he might be furious."

-----

"It's a bit out of the way," I said, swiping across the map on my phone. We were done with breakfast and had checked out of the hotel. Without having a set plan to spur us into motion, I was listening to Seunghyun make suggestions while sitting on the trunk of his car.

"Not by much. And I know that you want to go."

No point in asking why. No doubt Soo-ah's advice had given him enough information to build a whole itinerary.

"Sure," I conceded, "though the real dream would be one in, like, Bali or Australia."

"I'll save those for our honeymoon," Seunghyun teased.

"Hyun…"

"For now we'll just settle for Busan."

"A wedding is not goi-"

Seunghyun reached up and placed a single finger over my lips.

"Yeobo."

I made an annoyed groan and rolled my eyes.

"Just admit that you're going to marry me," he continued, ignoring my minor protest, "and when we do, I'll take you on a world tour of beaches. Okay?"

"On second thought, let's just go back to the city. I'm fucking sick of you."

He smiled, now taking my hand and tugging me down from his car. Once I was standing, he moved to wrap an arm around my shoulder.

"Is it because we didn't pack anything? We need swimsuits," he tugged his own phone out and pulled up Naver maps as well, "right? Let's see what stores are around."

-----

"This is cute," I mumbled to myself, looking over a swimming set.

"Get it then," Seunghyun automatically replied, not looking up from his own browsing.

"Eh," I waffled, "just because it's cute doesn't mean it would be cute on me."

That made him actually look up and walk over. Nudging up behind me, he reached around me to pick up the hanger and take a look.

"What do you think?" I prompted him.

He didn't immediately say anything. Instead, he placed his free hand on my waist and directed me towards one of the mirrors hanging between clothing racks.

Still behind me, he held the hanger up in front of me. His head tilted, and his eyes narrowed slightly as he ran them over my reflection. After some excruciating observation, he finally spoke.

"Not this one."

"It's not that bad," I started to protest, "maybe just a different color."

"No," he spoke with a surprising amount of finality. He shook his head and turned away, taking the swimsuit with him. He replaced it on the rack, and started flipping through the other options.

"Here," he held another set towards me, still focused on the rack, "how about this one?"

I took the hanger and mimicked Seunghyun’s action from before, holding the suit in front of myself.

"Not bad," I shrugged, "but you obviously have different taste than me."

"Try these too," he held several more hangers now. Looking around, he seemed to be trying to locate a clerk. "Do they have changing rooms?"

"Over there," I nodded my head towards a series of doors designed to look like surfboards.

"Perfect. Try these on," he pushed the hangers into my hands and ushered me towards the changing area. I was able to snag the one I had chosen before I swept away.

Seunghyun rolled his eyes, but didn't stop me.

-----

"Fuck me," I grumbled, turning around and looking in the mirror.

"What's that?" Seunghyun’s voice came from the other side of the door.

"It's… very…" I tried to think of an accurate description.

"Very?"

Sexy? Revealing?

"It's too small," I pulled the ties on the side. No amount of adjusting the knots would make more cloth magically appear.

"Do you want a bigger size?"

I grit my teeth, remembering a hundred shopping trips from my teens when I had heard that exact question, albeit in a different language.

"No," I sighed, "that's not… it's not small in that way," I explained, hoping he'd take the hint and shut up.

"What do you mean?"

Of course he didn't.

"I, uh…"

"Just let me see."

The door handle jiggled slightly. Not like he was actively trying to open it, but just as if he had laid his hand on the other side.

"Absolutely not. No way," I double checked that the door was locked, "especially not with the camera out there."

"Come on," he sounded a little annoyed, "it can't be that bad."

"I'm not trying to get this show rated as adult content, Hyun."

For a few precious moments, there was silence on the other side of the door.

"Try the blue one, it should have more…" he cleared his throat, "I mean, it has better, uh, coverage."

-----

An agonizingly awkward silence filled the next half an hour. And then we arrived at the beach. It was obvious that Chul had sent the other staff member ahead to set up. There was a small sun shade, two seats, and an assortment of towels and sunscreen.

"Here," Chul held a bottle out to me, "I figured this would work better than last time."

I smiled, a little touched by his remembering.

"You know," I teased, "if I didn't know it was your job to look after me, I might think you liked me."

Chul rolled his eyes, wiggling the bottle towards me.

"Just take it already."

-----

"Don't you want to go in the water?"

I hummed, eyes shut, trying to be as noncommittal as I could be. I was fully content with simply basking in the sun.

Seunghyun groaned.

"Come on," he whined, starting to poke my leg as he continued, "just for a little while?"

"Don't try to be cute," I scolded him, "it won't work on me."

I heard him make an annoyed noise, but his fingers no longer prodded my thigh.

I was nearly lulled asleep by the sound of the sea when he spoke up again.

"I could just pick you up and bring you out to the water."

I sighed, and finally opened my eyes. Turning my head, I gazed up at Seunghyun. He was sitting on a towel next to where I was laid out.

"You want me to kill you?"

He grinned down at me.

"I don't think you would."

"That depends," I pushed myself up slightly, propping myself up on my elbows. "Hey Chul," I called out.

"Yeah?" I heard the all-rounder reply.

"How much trouble will I get in if I fight Seunghyun?"

"Uh…" he sounded unsure, probably of how serious I was being, "let me just turn off the cameras first."

Seunghyun scoffed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"No company loyalty," he grumbled.

"You aren’t the company," Chul called out, laughing.

"Fucking microphones…"

"Go in the water if you're tired of microphones," I let out a small groan as I turned over and settled myself onto my stomach. I nestled my face into my arms, hoping Seunghyun would just let me nap.

"I don't want to go alone," he said, once again reaching over to prod a finger into the flesh of my leg, "come with me."

Honestly, I should have seen that one coming.

"Fine," I groaned again, pushing myself up to sit on my knees, "if I go in with you for a while, will you then let me waste my time in the sun?"

Seunghyun grinned, scrambling to stand up, and held a hand out towards me.

"I make no promises," he shook his head, "but I'll think about it."

I blinked up at him a few times before I gave him my hand. He immediately tugged me to stand next to him.

"Fine," I brushed some sand off my arm, "that's better than nothing I guess."

-----

"Are you letting me win?" Seunghyun asked as his hands clasped around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder. Instinctively, I double checked that my top was securely in place.

"I'm just off my game," I protested, working my fingers under his own, "the ocean freaks me out sometimes."

"Orrrr…" he batted my hands away from his own, pulling me more tightly against his body, "you secretly want me to hold onto you."

Man, who would have thought I'd have to threaten a man twice today?

"I'll kill you," I tried my best to sound intimidating.

I must have failed, since he only laughed.

"There's worse ways to go."

Finally, I got a grip on his hand. Peeling it back, I slid out from his grasp.

I was a little surprised that he let me go so easily. Until he refused to let go of my hand.

"Wait wait wait…" he pulled himself closer again, but at least he didn't try to wrap himself around me again, "I actually wanted to talk to you away from the microphones."

I glanced at the shore, spotting the tell-tale glint of the sun bouncing off a camera.

"What about?" I warily asked.

"I have a plan to get us away from the cameras for a while."

I blinked, then narrowed my eyes.

"Why?"

"Just to take the pressure off," he shrugged, "I know you're not used to all of this."

I grimaced, trying to one-up my already suspicious expression.

"And," he stressed the word, expressing that he was about to reveal his true motive, "I wanted to spend some time with you without us having to perform, you know?"

I cocked my head. That wasn't really what I expected.

"We don't perform though? At least," I placed the fingertips of my free hand on my chest, "I don't."

"I'm not saying it like that," Seunghyun shook his head. "I just mean I'd like to spend some time comfortably. Without having to worry about an audience."

"Then why don't we just go home? There's no cameras in my room, we can just hang out in there."

"Sure, but there's most likely microphones."

My heart stopped.

Microphones in my room? How had that not even occurred to me?

I felt ill. Blinking rapidly, I looked out over the ocean, and struggled with what to say.

"W…" I lifted my free hand to my eyes, covering them, "ah…" I let my hand slide down to cup my own cheek, "what?"

"It's pretty standard…" Seunghyun spoke slowly, eyebrows dipping, "are you okay?"

My hand was pressed over my mouth now. I was decidedly not okay.

"I need…" I mumbled through my fingers, eyes still scanning the sea and sky, "Chul…" I could absolutely not meet Seunghyun’s eye right now, "I have to talk to Chul."

I tugged against Seunghyun's hold on my hand, trying to move back towards the beach.

"Wait," his hand only tightened on mine, "baby…"

It was the English, more than the name itself, that made me pause.

"Tell me what's wrong."

His voice was soft, and he slowly reeled me back towards him. This time he pulled my chest against his. After wrapping one arm around my waist, he used the other to push my hair away from my face.

I kept my eyes focused on some indiscernible spot behind him, still not willing to make eye contact.

"I can't," I shook my head.

"Luna," I felt his index finger crook under my chin, "look at me."

He was gentle as he guided me to look at him, running his thumb against my cheek.

I was back to blinking rapidly, as if his face was too bright to look at.

He, on the other hand, kept a steady eye on me.

"Tell me what happened."

I shook my head, a tiny motion for just how bad the situation was. I couldn't take his eyes on mine. Dropping my gaze to where his neoprene style swimming shirt clung to his collarbones, I bit my lip.

"Was it one of the boys?" He asked, thumb still working softly against my face, "whatever it was, I'll make sure you're protected."

"It's not like a Seungri thing," I blurted out. If nothing else, I didn't want him to suspect anyone of doing something like that.

"Then what is it?"

"Hyun…" I whined, letting my head drop onto his shoulder, "I really can't tell you."

His hand immediately landed on my hair, lightly stroking through the salt roughened strands.

"Why not? What's the worst thing that happens if you tell me?"

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me.

"The worst? I die of embarrassment, you get charged with drowning me, the audio gets released during the trial, and everyone hears what I sound like w…" I lost all steam, not willing to say aloud exactly what was probably on someone's hard drive.

Seunghyun shifted slightly, pushing my shoulder back so he could dip his head and try to look at me.

"Why would they think that I drowned you?"

I silently thanked god for making Seunghyun, just this once, not focus on the absolute worst part.

"Um… well…"

"Baby," the English derailed me again, "just say it."

"There could be a case made for," if I hadn’t been pressed against him, I would have been fidgeting, "like, a jealousy thing."

"Why? Did you hook up with one of the guys or something?"

I clamped my mouth shut, biting on the inside of my lips.

Seunghyun laughed.

"Is that all? You're this stressed because you hooked up with Daesung? Luna," he wrapped both arms around me now, laughing, "baby, you had me worried for a minute there."

Of all the reactions I had expected, this was not one of them.

"Wait, how did you know?" I pushed back from him enough to look up at him, "Daesung told you?"

"Of course not," he shook his head, "Daesung is a total gentleman. I just took a calculated guess, and you just confirmed it."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

He grinned, once again pulling me against himself.

"No, I'm not kidding. Yeobo," he quickly kissed my cheek, "you don't have to hide that sort of thing from me."

My mind was reeling. The last few minutes had presented far too much information to cram into my skull. I decided to focus on just the thing that was literally in front of me.

"So you're not upset or anything?"

"God no!" His hands slid up from my waist, both cupping my face instead, "I already told you that I don't care if you want to date other people."

He pressed his lips against mine. He held me there a bit longer than absolutely necessary, slowly working to a point where he could tug at my bottom lip with his teeth as he pulled back.

The information, the emotional rollercoaster of revealing what had happened, the kiss… it was all too much. I felt dazed, and more than a little overwhelmed.

"Hyun…"

He smiled, a hint of his cockiness showing at the corners of his eyes.

"How selfish would I have to be to keep you all to myself?"

"We're kind of in public, Hyun."

He didn't say anything, instead opting to kiss me again.

-----

"Chul I have a question," I fiddled with the knobs on my microphone pack.

Chul didn't respond vocally. He just pointed at the pack and raised an eyebrow.

I nodded.

"Let me check that for you."

He quickly shut it off, unplugging the cord and taking out the batteries as well.

"What's up?"

He seemed as unconcerned as ever, making a big show of trying to "fix" my mic-pack.

I crossed my arms, feeling nervous now.

"Are there microphones in my room?"

His hands went completely still. I could see his eyes jump around for a few seconds before he answered.

"No."

I was, of course, not convinced.

"Did there used to be microphones in my room?"

Chul sighed, letting his head fall back.

"Yes," he sighed again, "listen... the recording is gone."

I felt ill.

"How many people heard it?"

He gave up on trying to make it look like he was doing his job. Putting the pack on the roof of the car, he ran his hands through his hair and over his face.

"There was only one technician in the monitor room that night," he started, then paused, groaning with embarrassment.

"And…?"

"She called me, so I…" it felt kind of empowering to be on the other side of someone avoiding eye contact.

"So you listened to it."

"Yes."

I nodded.

"You said it was deleted?"

"Yes!" He was now able to meet my eye, "I promise you! I went through everything to make sure. I checked the tech's phone, email, cloud, and everything."

"Okay," I nodded again, "okay. So…"

What on earth was I supposed to do now? Chul and I weren't exactly friends, not in a way that mattered. But I still didn't want to ruin our little bit of camaraderie. I settled on trying to joke it off.

"Did it at least sound good?"

Chul stared at me, eyes and mouth both wide. After a second, he laughed.

"I mean…" he blushed slightly, "I don't want to make assumptions. But if that was you faking it, you should be an actress."

I snorted, then coughed.

We both broke down into laughter.

After a moment I was finally able to get myself under control, wiping the tears from my face.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I managed to ask through my remaining giggles.

"Honestly? I didn't want you to get freaked out," Chul explained. "Sorry."

"It's fine, just…" I shrugged, "it's weird, you know?"

"Hey, here," he dug through his camera bag for a second before pulling out an SD card. My eyes went wide.

"It's not that," he laughed, "it's the footage from last night."

I furrowed my brows, trying to think over last night's events.

"From what?" I asked, taking the card.

"The hotel. I haven't watched it yet," Chul shrugged, "call it an apology gift."

"Oh, there's nothing on here," I offered it back to him, "just Seunghyun and I being assholes."

Chul waved a hand, refusing the card.

"Still, take it. Just in case you forgot anything," he laughed, "I won't even need it for another week or so. You can delete anything you don't like."

"Okay," I shrugged, tucking the card into my bag. "I actually had a different favor to ask though."

"Of course you did," Chul teased, "what's up?"

"Just…" I paused, thinking how much I wanted to give away, "there's going to be a point today where something suspicious might happen. I just want you to…" I pursed my lips, "ignore it."

Chul squinted at me.

"You guys are going off-camera, aren't you?"

"I didn't say that."

------

I was becoming far too accustomed to being driven everywhere.

Not that I typically drove myself, of course, since I had never bothered to get myself a license here. I typically had to plan out trips using public transportation. Sitting in the front seat of a private car was… nice.

"Okay," Seunghyun pulled open the door and slid into the driver’s seat, "I think Chul bought the bathroom excuse. Hold on…"

He leaned across me, reaching for the little camera clipped onto my sun visor. He quickly turned it over in his hands, locating the power button.

He moved on to disable the other three cameras that were similarly attached to different parts of the car.

"Alright," he sighed, leaning back into the seat. His eyes were shut, and he looked, for maybe the first time, completely relaxed.

"I'm pretty sure we're free."

"Let me double check."

His eyes opened, and he looked at me. More than a little confusion crossed his face. He watched me tap at my phone.

"Okay…" I scanned through the assorted wireless connections listed on my scanning app, "your car, your phone, my watch… I'm pretty sure this one is the traffic camera… Do you have a laptop in your car?"

"It's in the trunk," Seunghyun shrugged, "why?"

I held my phone out to him so he could see the list.

"This one," I pointed to the only one I couldn't figure out, "is the brand correct?"

"Yeah, that's right. What about these two?"

"I'm about seventy-five percent sure that those are the menu boards from the restaurant across the street."

Seunghyun stared at me. I could see his brain working behind his eyes.

"Are you CIA or something?"

"Hell no, fuck the CIA," I laughed, "I'm just a woman who travels alone at times."

His brows dipped.

"How did you not know that there were microphones in your room then?"

I shrugged. He had a point. Somehow it just hadn't been on my radar.

"I guess I let my guard down," I shook my head, "it's not like I work security. I don't think about those things all the time."

-----

"Hyun…"

"I don't want to hear it," he cut me off, "I made sure to get two beds this time."

"That…"

"Ah, Choi-ssi," a bellman approached the two of us, "your room is ready for you. If you'd just follow me."

Despite us not having luggage, we were escorted all the way to the room that Seunghyun had picked for the night.

"If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask. As for your request at booking, I believe the previous attendant arranged it in the living area."

The bellman, or rather, attendant, bowed and opened the door for us. As we entered, he quickly left two sets of keys on the table immediately inside the room, and disappeared.

I had stayed quiet for the trip up to the room, planning the argument I was going to have to start.

All of that planning was momentarily forgotten when I finally took in the room. It managed to seem both larger and smaller than the first room I had stayed in for filming. It had a semi-open floor plan with the living room, kitchenette, and… I didn't know what to call the third area. It wasn't a bathroom, per se. There was simply an oversized jetted tub that was clearly visible from the other two areas.

"Hyun…" I started.

"Looks like there's one bedroom there," he nodded towards a closed door, "and I think the second is…" he wound his way through the living area, momentarily disappearing around a corner.

"Yes," he called back, "it's here."

A creeping sense of dread started settling over my shoulders, making my skin feel tight.

"I don't really care which room I sleep in," he kept talking, circling back into the living area, "you can have your pick. Oh," he picked up a fairly nondescript bag that was set on the coffee table, "perfect. I'm pretty sure I got the right si…"

Finally, he noticed the tension that was overtaking me.

"...zes. Hey," he dropped the bag on the sofa and slowly approached me, "are you okay?"

"I, uh," I nodded, then shook my head, "I don't know."

"Yeobo," Seunghyun slid his hand into one of my own, pulling it up to press a kiss against my palm, "we can go back if you want."

"No," I sighed, "that… I am choosing to trust you. Right? That's the whole thing."

"Right," he nodded, "but if you're uncomfortable…"

I had somewhat expected him to try to wind his arms around me again. I was grateful that he didn't.

I cleared my throat.

"I'm going to, uh, choose a room."

He smiled and let go of my hand. Nodding, he took a seat on the sofa and waved a hand, encouraging me to look around.

I chose the room in the back of the suite. It had a better view, and the ensuite bathroom had a tub as opposed to the standing shower that the other bedroom had.

After letting Seunghyun know of my choice, I made an excuse for needing just a little while alone. He accepted it easily, placing the bag from before into my hand and laying a kiss on my forehead before retreating into the other room.

I immediately locked myself in the bathroom.

To: D-Lite I have some questions and I need direct answers and I will not be explaining myself

To: D-Lite Okay?

I settled into the tub while I waited for a response. Barely resisting the urge to sit and let the shower run over me, I went for the decidedly less depressing option of soaking.

After about ten minutes, I heard my phone's text alert.

From: D-Lite Of course pet. Ask me anything.

I took a quick breath, trying to settle my nerves and stop my hands from shaking.

To: D-Lite Did you know that there were microphones in my room?

I saw bubbles pop up and go away a few times. I couldn't blame him for writing and rewriting, but it did nothing to help calm my nerves. Finally, a message popped up, followed by several more as I read.

From: D-Lite I didn't know for sure. And I didn't think of it until afterwards.

From: D-Lite As soon as I thought of it, I talked to that production guy. The one that likes you.

From: D-Lite He got rid of anything, and I'm pretty sure he pulled everything out.

From: D-Lite Your room is the only place with no recording tech in it now, I think.

From: D-Lite Pet? Please say something.

I was chewing on my bottom lip, trying to work out how to phrase my next question.

I decided that since I wanted straight answers, I should ask straight questions.

To: D-Lite Am I safe with Seunghyun?

The world's most stressful three minutes passed while I watched those fucking bubbles again.

From: D-Lite The short answer is yes.

From: D-Lite He tests boundaries, but if you directly tell him to stop he will.

From: D-Lite Do you feel unsafe?

From: D-Lite He's just a little over the top. But I think he really likes you.

From: D-Lite If I had to guess I'd say that he really would marry you right now.

From: D-Lite He gets like that.

From: D-Lite But yes, you're safe.

From: D-Lite Right? Please talk to me.

I stared at the screen, letting my head lean back against the ceramic of the tub.

To: D-Lite I'm okay. I'm stressed, but okay.

To: D-Lite We aren't coming back tonight.

To: D-Lite I don't understand what's happening.

From: D-Lite Can you call me? Please pet.

From: D-Lite Just call and tell me that you're okay.

I sighed. In a way, he was coming across as a little pathetic. But I could understand why he might worry.

I tapped his contact information and selected the call option. Placing the phone on speaker, I put it on the tiles that surrounded the lip of the tub and laid back.

"Are you alright, pet?"

I hummed, not feeling very talkative.

"He's treating you well?"

"Yes."

An awkward silence fell. Daesung sighed, air crackling the speaker of my phone.

"You said you wouldn't explain."

"Yes."

"So I won't ask. I only want you to be safe."

"What are you worried about? You said Seunghyun’s safe, right?"

"That…" he groaned, "he is. He is safe. I know he is. He wouldn't do anything to hurt you. I know that. I…"

He fell silent for a minute. I refused to fill the conversational space.

"I'm not worried about him. I'm worried that you…"

Another silence that I refused to fill in settled over the phone.

"Don't make me say it."

I genuinely did not know what he meant by that.

"Say what?"

Another groan came through the speaker, followed by a swear.

"I… fuck…"

"Tell me Dae."

"Fuck. I, okay, listen…"

I waited, listening.

"I miss you. A lot. I haven't seen you since yesterday morning and I… I just… I miss you. Pet, please understand me."

I knew that he probably wanted me to say it back. And it wouldn't be untrue if I did. But I hated feeling pressured like this, even if he wasn't doing it on purpose.

"I'll be back tomorrow."

"I know. I'm just used to seeing you every day. You spoil me."

I laughed, not believing what I had heard.

"Spoil you? How on earth do I spoil you?"

"You just do," he sounded a little defensive, "just being around you."

I hummed again, finally feeling a little less stressed.

"You're very sweet Daesung," I said, internally admitting that I did miss him, "I…"

My turn to fall into silence. How could I explain what I meant when I wasn't sure myself?

"I'm used to seeing you too."

-----

Seunghyun’s hair was damp when I finally traipsed back into the living area. He had obviously arranged a change of clothing for himself as well as the one he had had waiting for me.

"Hey," he looked up from his phone and gave me a smile, "how are you feeling?"

I clicked my tongue against my teeth, trying to choose an accurate word. Luckily, Daesung had given me the perfect one.

"Spoiled."

His smile got softer, and he laid his phone on the table. Leaning back on the sofa, he waved for me to sit next to him.

I accepted the invitation. Tucking my legs under me, I leaned against his shoulder.

"I'll pay you back for the clothes," I said, letting my eyes close.

"Stop it."

"No."

His shoulder jerked as he laughed. Carefully, he slipped his arm up, over my head, and then down around my shoulders.

"What do you want to do while you don't have to preserve your image?"

My turn to laugh. I shifted in my seat, stretching my legs out onto the sofa and rolling onto my back. It was vaguely reminiscent of the previous night. Looking up at him now, even with the difference between day and night, I had that strange soft feeling again.

"Do I have an image worth preserving? You're the idol."

He laughed. Full on, mouth wide, bubbling up from his stomach, laughed.

"My image was ruined years ago!"

That softness in my chest hardened. I tightened my abs, sitting up a little abruptly. I turned so that I was facing Seunghyun, huddling myself against the armrest of the sofa. I may have been a little dramatic with it, but in that instant I needed the extra space.

We stared at each other for a few seconds. Then we spoke over each other.

"What ha…"

"Not like Seu…"

We both stopped, waiting for the other to continue.

"You go first," Seunghyun offered.

"What happened?" I repeated myself.

He frowned, the kind of look that showed shame and frustration.

"I…" he spoke slowly, "I went through a difficult time. And, well…"

I could see on his face that he hated this conversation. Clearly, this was something he had been made to talk about before. Probably multiple times. Maybe too many times.

"Did you hurt anyone?"

He shook his head. After a moment to run his hands through his hair, he nodded.

"I created a lot of problems for other people," he explained, settling his head back and staring at the ceiling, "but I… never…"

I watched him closely, ready to jump up and away it I had to. He cleared his throat and sat up again. Turning towards me, gripping the back of the sofa tightly, he, in turn, watched me as well.

"I’m nothing like Seungri," he said, watching me intently.

"Then what was it?"

"Baby, please," that shock effect hit me again. I didn't think I'd ever get used to it. A deadly one-two punch of English and petnames.

"Just believe me when I say I would never hurt you."

"Hyun," I shuffled backwards even further, now perching on the armrest, "just tell me what it was."

"Yeobo…"

"You know I could just look it up. Wouldn't it be better if you just told me yourself?"

He sighed, again ruffling his hands over his head.

"I…" he groaned, "fine. I got it. There was a time when I just felt like everything was too much. I didn't plan it, but I got involved with some people who gave me these drugs, an-"

"Oh my god, seriously?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes as a small laugh slipped through my lips.

"W-what?"

"I'm American Hyun! Jesus christ," I relaxed, settling back onto the normal seat, "drugs? You think I give a shit about drugs? God damn,” I allowed myself to fully laugh, “you’re acting like you murdered someone.”

I took some time to stop my laughter, trying to reign it in. Considering how silent Seunghyun was being, I figured this was not a reaction he was used to.

“Sorry,” I shook my head, biting the inside of my cheek to keep myself in check.

“You…” he paused, the faintest hint of a confused smile tugging at the corner of his lips, “you really don’t care?”

“Hey,” I leaned forward, letting my hand drop onto his that was still gripping the back of the sofa, “I’m sorry, I know it’s a big deal here. But,” I shrugged, “again, I’m an American. I’ve probably done way more drugs than you, and my friends back home?” I shook my head, “I grew up in a town nick-named for how bad the drug problem was there.”

Seunghyun’s mouth hung slightly open. His eyes darted around the room quickly before coming to settle on my face again.

“Wait, I… really? You? But you’re so…” his eyes swept over my body for a moment, “healthy.”

“Oh,” I smiled at him, tilting my head to amp up the condescension in my voice, “my Seunghyunnie. There are a lot of things about me that you wouldn’t expect.”

-----

In a way, we wasted our time away from constant surveillance. We ordered room service, we lounged by the hotel pool, we drank until we both couldn't stop giggling.

We ordered dessert, topped off our drinks, and watched movies.

"Baby," Seunghyun mumbled the word. He was laying on the sofa, face squished against my thigh, and one of his hands was absently stroking my calf.

"Yes?" I brushed his hair back from his face.

"Is it okay if I call you baby?" He turned onto his back, hand abandoning my calf to reach up and trace a finger against my ear.

"I know you hate when I call you yeobo, s-"

"You can call me whatever you want," I cut him off. "I already know I can't stop you when you get an idea in your head."

I was still absorbed in the zombie situation on the screen in front of us, but I could tell he was now watching me.

"So baby is okay?"

"Sure Hyun," I shrugged. "Why not?"

His hand dropped to his own face, rubbing over it for a second before settling in his own hair.

"I want to call you something that you like to hear."

I shrugged again, finally looking down at him. He had that familiar flush across his cheeks and nose, and his eyes were vaguely unfocused.

"I don't have one specific thing I like," I explained, "it depends on the person saying it."

He hummed, lines appearing on his forehead as he frowned in thought.

"Like Daesung calls you pet, but that wouldn't work if I said it?"

I fixed my attention back on the television, hoping to hide my own growing blush.

"It doesn't sound natural when you say it."

"Does baby sound natural when I say it?"

I laughed, once, before answering.

"It surprises me," I tilted my head, still not looking back down at him, "but it's better than hearing you call me pet."

Seunghyun hummed, then groaned as he shuffled himself to sit up next to me.

"Baby?"

I gave him a quick glance before zeroing back in on the movie.

"Yes, Hyun?"

"When we get married, do you want a big wedding?"

I finally relented, giving him my full attention. Ignoring the soft puffiness that alcohol and semi-dozing had lent to his face, I fixed him with a sarcastic look.

"Do you really think that we're going to get married?"

He nodded, a lazy smile stretching across his face.

"Even though you know that Daesung and I, uh…" I rifled through my brain, trying to remember any usable euphemism.

"Yah," he was frowning now, raising a hand to wave my words away, "how many times do I have to say I don't care? You can sleep with him as much as you want."

His hand waved again, even harder.

"No, no, that's not it. I don't want to marry you to put you in a cage," he huffed, finally dropping his hand back down. He used it to support himself as he leaned forward.

"I want you to keep me in line. I want you to point out when I'm being stupid. Baby…"

There was no way that I hadn't noticed how close he was. But I didn't want to interrupt his explanation by moving. That would have been rude.

Or something like that.

In a repeat of our conversation in the ocean, he lifted both of his hands to cup either of my cheeks. He didn't put his lips on mine though. He just held me as close as he could without actually kissing me.

"It's all you."

My lips tingled as his breath hit them.

"Hyun," I started, putting a hand on his chest, creating a minor barrier.

He dropped one of his hands from my face to grip my hand, holding it against his chest tightly.

"Yeobo, baby," he sounded desperate now, almost pathetic, nuzzling against my cheek before leaning in and speaking approximately into my neck, "please marry me.”

“You’re drunk,” I pointed out, pushing him away.

He protested neither my words nor actions. Letting me push him back, he ended up splayed along the sofa, staring up at me.

"Come here," he requested, lifting one arm to beckon me towards him, "lay with me."

"Hyun…"

"Just put your head here," he pat his hand against his chest, "and let me hold you for a while."

Despite everything, all of his strange behavior from week one to now, I believed Daesung. Seunghyun was safe.

Carefully, I settled myself against him.

It was nice. Laying against a warm body, feeling his hands smooth over my hair in an arrhythmic pattern.

“Are you always clingy when you drink?” I asked.

He hummed, chest vibrating under my head.

“Only when I’m comfortable.”

Well, that certainly made sense. It definitely wasn't a sentiment that needed to be unpacked immediately.

We lay there for a while. Silent and barely paying attention to the screen. Eventually one of Seunghyun's hands drifted down my body, creating a tingling trail of warmth and chills as he gently rubbed over my back. His other hand remained at my head, now tangled into my hair. I could feel that he was gripping my hair, but not tightly - not tugging, only anchoring.

I was thoroughly tranquilized. Physically, anyway.

"We're going to get in trouble tomorrow," I mumbled, eyes drooping.

"I'll take responsibility," Seunghyun said in a low tone, his hand on my back becoming a bit heavier. His fingers curled, lifting the hem of my shirt an inch or so before stretching down to meet with my bare skin.

His body heaved somewhat as he readjusted himself on the sofa. I felt the, now somehow familiar, sensation of his lips against my hair.

"Is this okay?" He mumbled the words against my scalp.

"Hmm?"

He wiggled his fingers, incidentally tickling at my back.

"This."

Was it okay? Not that long ago, this amount of skinship would have been unthinkable. Especially between the two of us. But he wasn't doing anything wrong. His hand was on my lower - or was it middle? - back. He didn't seem to be interested in straying too far either down or up. It was just… a touch. Another anchor point, like his fingers still wound into my hair.

I must have spent too long thinking, because his hand lifted. The change in temperature was more noticeable than the change in pressure.

"Sor-"

"It's fine. It… you can do that."

I felt his chest sink as his hand resumed its place, as if he had been holding his breath.

At this point in my life I was surrounded by uncertainties, but I at least knew this: Seunghyun is safe.

#Date Roulette #DR:BB #DR:SH #T.O.P #Choi Seunghyun #G Dragon #Kwon Jiyong #Daesung #Kang Daesung #Big Bang #Kpop fanfic

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