#beyond 101 level shit
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Hi! Love your TikTok translations, they help me learn so much. Sorry if you've answered this before already, but as a language student myself, I was just curious about how you got so good at Chinese - is it a native language for you, or what's your background in using/studying it? Thank you!
I think I answered this a long time ago (like 2021 maybe) so I will just tell it again. It's kind of a longwinded boring post that's very self-centric (😬) and also probably not going to have any helpful advice to the average language learner, so I'm going to put it under a read more!
Background
My family is Chinese so it's my heritage language. I did learn it before English as a baby but then forgot a lot of it. My parents speak Chinese at home but I always replied in English growing up. Part of this is because I have a twin sibling and because we spoke English at school, we also started speaking English to each other at home.
We went to Chinese school on Sundays growing up (this is like a community/cultural school; it included other courses like math, Chinese dance, art, pre-SATs (lol), etc, depending on who in the community was available to teach), but I didn't really pay attention so my Chinese was pretty shit for a long time—like broken conversational level shitty, although I have always had a strong comprehension ability. My dad's side is from Sichuan so I grew up understanding a bit of Sichuanese.
The beginning of my "studying"
I don't actually have much of a background studying Chinese in a formal setting. I took Chinese 101-103 in college as part of a language requirement (specifically chose to start with 101 so I could relearn basics, even though my teachers kept offering to place me in higher levels). I really credit my Chinese 101 prof who was also the college's calligraphy teacher for making us focus on brush stroke order and recognising characters and understanding semantic components, which is something other profs did not emphasise (they were more focused on building conversational skills).
Anyway, that was only my freshman year of college because I ended up changing majors and not having a language requirement anymore (boo). I continued studying a bit of Chinese in the intervening years, but I am not a very disciplined person when it comes to self-study, so much of it was just translating song lyrics for my own amusement. During this time, I also started watching some cdramas, but mostly just Chinese web shows, which maybe helped? (I don't think I was watching enough for it to really make a difference).
Fast forward a couple years to 2020 and I started watching more cdramas during lockdowns, including watching 成化十四年 (The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty), which I was super invested in for about two years (this used to be a fandom blog lol). Basically, hyperfixation led me to rapidly improve my Chinese; I started translating a few behind-the-scenes videos for fandom friends. In order to keep up with Chinese fans and gain access to more material about the show, I started venturing onto Chinese sites such as weibo, bilibili, and eventually, douyin, which I downloaded around October of 2020 (so this was 6 months into my increased interest into Chinese things). At first, I translated a couple of douyins to share with fandom friends as I had done with behind-the-scenes materials, but for whatever reason I felt like some of the videos I wanted to translate would just be annoying to spam into the chat... I couldn't figure out a way to connect them to the blorbos, but I still wanted to translate them, so I started posting them here on tumblr. That's how my douyin translations started out. This was the height of covid-19 related sinophobia, too, so at some point I started realising how important it was to continue translating douyins, and that motivated me to continue even beyond it just being a fun thing to do. On that topic, it was through this blog that I realised how poorly understood China and Chinese people are, specifically on this site. I feel like that has changed a lot, or maybe that's just a comment on insular online spaces, but I have to think not; since I started translating douyins, I've seen a noticeable decrease in sinophobic comments and messages (not that I don't still get them, but it's lessened), and I think that's also thanks in great part to other blogs on here that were posting/have started to post more content from China to help increase exposure to tumblr users.
Improving
In any case, in the beginning, I did a lot of translations mostly by ear rather than reading captions because my Chinese reading wasn't that good.
It's kind of slowly improved with time and repetitive reading, and over the last three years now, I've also gone through periods of taking notes and actively seeking out some vocab lists or grammar explanations... but it usually comes in the process of trying to translate something. My motivations in "studying" (it's more like "figuring out") Chinese is largely based on the simple desire to know what people are talking about... what they're joking about... what they're ranting about and roasting. Related: I also started reading fanfics in Chinese about a year ago. Some fics have been easier to read than others, but some of the best ones I've read were also the ones that challenged me the most, and which I had to take a lot of notes on while reading. I'll admit! There have been times where I just took a fic and dumped that sucker in google translate and have it read the Chinese to me, so I could just listen to it like a podfic. But even so, I would take notes, because I think my improvements in Chinese are heavily connected to my Chinese literacy.
Reading douyin comments and forums on douban or comment sections on bilibili has been one of the main ways that I've picked up on common phrases and characters. I often write things down but I do so more as a muscle memory practice, because I have never really been the sort of person who reads back notes (this was also how I studied in school, iirc). Branching out and translating things that are written in formal or non-colloquial styles is also a way I challenge myself from time to time, and I do like to look up the etymology of Chinese characters from time to time because it helps me pick up patterns of semantics and phonetic hints when I'm reading (this makes it easier to guess what a character might mean or sound like, even if you've never seen it before). Overall, translation has been the great learning tool for me. I think maybe it comes down to learning styles? I have always learned better from trying to teach others, and I feel like translation works a similar muscle in the mind; translation is about figuring out ways to efficiently communicate a message, and in order to do so, you must be able to grasp the essence of what it is you're relaying.
All this said... And to try and return to your original ask after all my usual Wawa rambling... I actually don't think my Chinese is that good, lol. In fact, there's probably people who follow this blog who are studying Chinese in a more conventional and methodical manner whose Chinese is objectively much better than mine 🤷🏻♂️ I mean, if you crunch the numbers, I have really only be self-"studying" for three years. Three years of what is really just vibe-based learning. There's a lot of vocab I still don't know (I mean my English vocab is pretty limited too, sooo.... 😭), a lot of areas that I can still improve on, and am improving on, and try to improve on... when the mood strikes. Again, I am not a very disciplined self-study type.
Maybe this will give any other Chinese diaspora hope, though. I feel like it's never too late for us to start learning. There is probably a seed or language foundation within you already which will make it easier for you to start, and then after that, I think it sort of comes down to finding what interests you and will keep you motivated.
Most of the stuff I talk about on here when it comes to culture or folk art or what have you, I did not know even five years ago! I learned about it because I was interested to find out more. (That's another reason I have to laugh when I get some of the asks I do in my inbox... The stuff I don't answer is dumbfounding at times. You translate a couple of funny videos and people think you're some kind of Tripadvisor cultural ambassador guy! I swear...)
The "study" resources I use regularly are the following:
Pleco
Zh-En browser extension
Yellowbridge (usually to check brush stroke order, since I have Pleco)
Baidu etymology pages / Chinese etymology dictionaries such as hanziyuan
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I think one of the things that bothers me most about the way RWBY has handled the whole b/umbleby thing is the fact that volume 9 kind of puts paid to the idea that their relationship was a 'slow burn'.
If it were a slow burn, if their relationship had been steadily growing and changing over the past few volumes and according to their experiences, then that burn ultimately resolving and becoming explicit and them getting together would have been a significant milestone that changed things between them so completely they could never go back to how things were before.
But... nothing changed. If you took out the confession and the kiss and Ruby's (understandable) anger... you'd never be able to tell anything had changed between them. They have the same level of physical affection and tenderness they've had since volume 6. They don't talk to each other any differently. There's been no change in their behavior, no evidence they are now a couple in a way that they were not before except their one single kiss. And that's just deeply unsatisfying to me.
This criticism popped up after the episode aired and I came across a couple of posts that, with lesser and greater respect, pushed back against it. One in particular was rather snide, asking what RWDE folks expected to change: for them to be kissing non-stop? Declaring their undying love at ten-minute intervals? Pulling out a ring for marriage? People are still themselves while dating, you know. Besides, they're a little busy at the moment!
Now, I personally believe that yes, there should be changes to their behavior. I likewise believe that this could have easily been accomplished if a) Blake and Yang hadn't already gone through the physical displays of affection that RWBY uses to confirm a romantic relationship (primarily hand-holding) and b) if they hadn't jumped straight to "I love you." Removing the numerous moments of hand-holding since Volume 6 would have left that as an easy, visual indicator of the change in their relationship (rather than the confusing "So are they canonical or not??" we got for three years). Likewise, having them admit to having a crush could have opened the door to actually dating which in turn could have eventually led to the big "I love you" moment. That's how you do a slow-burn post-confession: breaking up all those relationship milestones and thus making time for the characters to run into obstacles and celebrate the success of each step forward. The way bumblebee has been written, it simultaneously feels far too slow (why did it take 4+ years for them to admit they like each other?) and simultaneously way too fast (they don't actually admit that they like each other, but that they're IN LOVE).
Beyond what all might have been added though, I think it's worth considering what might have been lost in a better written romance. Slow-burns, as mentioned above, thrive on obstacles. There has to be a reason why the characters don't get together, whether that's internal ("I'm too afraid of commitment to date them") or external ("Our families will lose their shit if we date"). Seriously, this is like writing 101, yet Bumblebee gave us NOTHING. For literal years there was no reason, internal or external, why they couldn't/wouldn't admit to their feelings, which not only begs the question of why in the world it took a magical prison to force them to confess, but ensures that their relationship doesn't change as a result of that weight being lifted from their shoulders. If Blake was scared of what it would mean for her to love a human, or if Yang was scared to commit after losing so much else in life, or if there was homophobia to deal with in Remnant, or if they both wanted to wait until the Salem fight was over, or if they honestly didn't realize they had romantic feelings, or if one of them needed to come to terms with being queer first, or if there was a literal curse at play that hindered the relationship somehow... there are a HUNDRED ways to provide obstacles and the removal of any one of them would have changed both the character(s) and their relationship with each other.
Not to continually bring up my blorbo Trent Crimm, but Ted Lasso does this beautifully. With the removal of his obstacle (inability to admit that he's gay) Trent becomes a radically different person from who he was in Season One; a more authentic person. His style changes, he smiles more, his conversation becomes more "dorky," and his relationships with the rest of the cast likewise develops. What would Yang look like if she went on a journey of coming out as queer? What would Blake look like if she kept her activist roots by fighting for the right to date a human? How would they both act post-kiss if they'd been afraid, for whatever reason, to show that level of affection in public before? Something like holding hands could have been a radical act -- it IS for real queer people!! -- rather than a generic, cutsey detail we've been getting for years now.
Instead, as you say, anon, literally nothing changes. I am 99.9% convinced that Ruby wouldn't even know Yang was now dating Blake if they hadn't exited the storm still kissing because them sitting close and occasionally holding hands has been their norm since VOLUME SIX. Nothing changes because RT didn't do any of the work to write an actual, romantic relationship. They wrote a couple of years worth of implied queerbaiting and then confirmed it when it looked like RWBY would be cancelled. We don't know anything about them in regards to romance and/or sexuality. When did Yang realize she likes girls when she started the series only appreciating guys? Is Blake expected to marry anyone in particular given her status as the pseudo-princess of Menagerie? Have either of them ever been in a relationship before? Do they have any idea what they want out of a relationship? Does the fact that they're on a supposedly doomed quest with their world hanging in the balance have any bearing on their long-term plans? There are fictional couples who avoid admitting feelings because of the presumed hopelessness of their plot and there are those that grab at a relationship and hold on with both hands because they're determined to live and love for whatever time they have left. Bumblee offers none of this. Their love exists only between the two of them, primarily off-screen, separate from both the plot and the rest of the cast.
The fact that Yang never once talks to Ruby about her feelings and then the Volume drops Ruby's annoyance really says it all. Of course nothing changes. RT doesn't want to write a Blake/Yang subplot. They just want to have a queer couple among the main team to bring in viewers and sell merch. The fandom has done ALL the work to make Bumblebee a nuanced, heart-felt love story. It literally, barely exists on screen and what little we have gotten often makes no sense. They hide their feelings when they have no reason to. Yang is worried about a fight with Blake that never happened. They both say they love things about the other that sound like a list of generic Good Characteristics, rather than traits that actually align with these characters. They're caught kissing thanks to the magical world they're in and the characters treat this as a given, giving the story an excuse not to engage with their reactions because again, the story isn't interested in that. One reaction is tossed in for the drama? Don't worry, the tree will cure Ruby of her understandable anger that Yang is more concerned with holding Blake's hand than her sister's tragedy-inducing depression. Everything is only canon in the moment.
Outside of the kiss checkbox there's no romance here and, thus, no reason to show its development. All RT needed was to get one kiss on screen and then boom, their merch sells out and (they hope) Volume 10 is greenlit. Don't get me wrong, I'm still pleased it's actually confirmed now, but it's nevertheless the fans who are doing all the work to make this an epic love story, not the writers.
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Untitled Wednesday Library Series, Part 101
In Part the Ninety-Eighth, I promised the return of Ereshefsky’s Poverty of the Linnaean Hierarchy. This is that. In the intervening weeks I have finished it, griped to @krieper about it, and discussed it in broad strokes with my practical shoes-having former (and now accidentally, coincidentally, re-current) professor.
(The How)
I said before what I’d otherwise say here, bar this: in order to pay a ~reasonable amount for this copy, I had to go through a ~reputable third party book resale site. Those fuckers keep hitting me with new mailing lists. Unpleasant.
The Text
Ereshefsky’s argument is something like this: Linnaean taxonomy’s assumptions and rules are incorrect and burdensome, respectively; it is practically and philosophically beyond saving; a new system ought to be adopted. While he doesn’t definitely specify a new system, he makes 11 strong, ~clearly argued recommendations for what that system ought to look like and do.
Taken together, these points grandfather in existing taxa names but strip them of embedded meaning (e.g., family-level suffixes like -idae and -aceae) outsourcing information on inclusiveness to either numbers or indented lists, move all new names to unitalicized uninominal constructions (i.e., no more Genus species), do away with ranks entirely, and emphasize phylogenetic relationships when possible. This is not an uncontroversial set of suggestions, nor is it an entirely original one.
Ereshefsky does not like essentialism of genera. Not controversial. He does not like species essentialism. Less uncontroversial, but me too, bud. In fact he argues for the coexistence and co-utility of several equally valid concepts of species (e.g., ecospecies, phylospecies, biospecies) as ‘lineages’ which ‘crisscross the natural world’. Quite unpopular. His strongest point is that all such lineages represent historical entities (not contiguous historical individuals) whose internal relations are badly served by grouping and naming them like we currently do. Correct.
I enjoy his impulses toward dissatisfaction with existing system. I quite like many of his points about how they ought to work instead. I do not find myself compelled by his arguments, which occasionally feel sloppy. Maybe they’re not as sloppy as they seemed to be, but they did seem it. If I felt his illustration of alternative concepts was clear, I’d root for this more strongly. It’s interesting and mostly pretty bold and even sometimes avoids repeating itself.
(The Object)
Again, this section hardly beats new ground. Between the fact this is a university press hardcover and the case I made last time, I figure you get the picture. Apart from a well-times reuse of a Willi Hennig diagram, there are no surprises. Solid, attractive, basically predictable. It remains an unchallenging thing, but it’s got a decent feel to it.
The Why, Though?
Listen, I like this piece. I will absolutely be jamming bits of it further into my brain, and I will absolutely be recommending certain parts of it to certain people. Every time I find a new ~solid philosophy of biology text I wax slightly more annoying. Is it perverse to enjoy that? Perhaps so. Not the point.
I wish it gave more of a shit about complications like horizontal gene transfer and coherency among asexually reproducing organisms. I wish it used footnotes instead of endnotes. I wish it seemed more interested in the phenomena it discusses than it does, and I wish it seemed like it was written for an audience other than philosophers of taxonomy (like, say, taxonomists, or even (hell) biologists of broader stripes). Alas.
I stand by that second chapter; phenomenal work there. Absolutely killer bibliography. That alone is almost worth the price of admission.
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So, because I can’t leave well enough alone and Some Shit Happened today, I put together some resources that affirm that if you are a person who identifies as nonbinary, you can and do fit under the trans umbrella. Of course, you do not HAVE to refer to yourself or think of yourself as trans, but it was a really important part of my journey as a nonbinary person to realize that I was “allowed” to be in the trans community, because, and this is the important part, *all this is required to be trans is that you do not identify with the gender you were assigned at birth.” That’s it. End of qualifications needed to ID as trans.
If you are nonbinary and don’t WANT to identify as trans, then don’t. But I think it’s important to know that you’re allowed to, and we enbies who do identify as trans are happy to have you be part of our family.
Resources and references:
https://lgbt.foundation/who-we-help/trans-people/non-binary
https://www.tumblr.com/nonbinaryresource/130363147161/im-trying-to-find-more-nonbinary-representation
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/can-i-be-both-transgender-and-nonbinary
https://www.rainbow-project.org/what-we-do-mean-by-trans-or-non-binary/
https://www.transhub.org.au/101/what-is-trans
“Why do we use umbrella terms?
“Umbrella terms” are words that are used to describe a large range of concepts or experiences in simplified terms. For example, painting is an umbrella term that can be used to talk about oil paintings and watercolours, detailed brushwork to splatter art, and even changing the colour of a house. Similarly, trans and gender diverse, trans, and transgender are umbrella terms for a population of people whose gender is different to what was presumed for them at birth. The term trans is inclusive of binary trans people (women and men who are trans), non-binary trans people, Sistergirls and Brotherboys. Umbrella terms are an often imperfect but helpful solution to trying to talk about a wide range of experiences that are closely related in some ways, but very different in others. No two trans people will have the same experience of being trans, but we have similar experiences that may not be shared with cis people. Trans and gender diverse people are also a socially and legally marginalised population, and coming together under these umbrellas of identity is an important way of advocating for ourselves and each others’ rights despite the differences we may have.” (https://www.transhub.org.au/101/what-is-trans#why-do-we-use-umbrella-terms)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6830997/
“Like genderqueer, non-binary can be traced to the work of transgender and transsexual authors who resisted or transcended gender binaries, for example Bornstein, who stated that ‘Gender fluidity recognizes no borders or rules of gender.’ (1994, p. 52). The earliest use of terms referring directly to non-binary seems to be around 2000, for example Haynes and McKenna’s (2001) collection Unseen Genders: Beyond the Binaries.”
“Overall, academic production has not kept pace with the growth of non-binary identities, and there are difficulties with erasure of non-binary within the broader transgender category (Fiani & Han, 2018). “
“Monro and Van der Ros (2017) demonstrate the way in which state apparatus and the medical establishment can operate to perpetuate a socially marginal position for non-binary people. Gender binarism may be compounded by trans*3-normativity – “the belief that there is only one way for trans* people to practice their gender…[it] suggests that all trans* people should transition from one socially knowable sex to another” (Nicolazzo, 2016, p. 1175). These forces, which operate at cultural, institutional, policy, and legal levels, combine to perpetuate narrow models of sex, gender, and sexual identity.”
https://glaad.org/transgender/transfaq/
“Everyone has a gender identity, an internal sense of self and perception of one’s own gender. For some people their gender identity is the same as the sex they were assigned at birth (cisgender) and for some people their gender identity is different than the sex they were assigned at birth (transgender).
There have always been transgender people who felt that their gender identity didn’t fall neatly into the two binary categories of “man” or “woman.” In the past, trans people who felt that way used the words genderqueer and genderfluid to describe that experience. While those words are still used today, it’s now more common for people to call themselves non-binary if they feel their gender identity is something other than “man” or “woman.” People who use the word non-binary to describe their gender identity typically also call themselves transgender.”
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this is how i imagine dick grayson…
click here for the other boys
this gets very um… ✨psych eval✨
- cannot cook to save anyone’s life.
- he eats cereal for most meals so he has a god tier level of judgement of different brands and types of cereal.
- really good at hacking.
- sings in the shower but is actually pretty good at it; and has 90s-Y2K music taste, as well as 80s pop.
- his first anime he watched was definitely the original fruits basket.
- dangerously impulsive sometimes.
- is extremely selfish when it comes to non-super hero things.
- like -based off my experience of being the eldest- he never had to do chores, never had to learn any homely skills really, gets away with doing whatever the hell he wants, things were just handed to him.
- didn’t know how to use a washing machine until he moved out and he still uses alfred to wash delicates.
- there’s no workers in the manor so i like to think after jason, bruce decided everyone had to pick up the slack.
- like vacuuming their own rooms, cleaning their own bathrooms, washing their own plates and cups, hang out the washing etc etc. (there’s definitely a cleaning roster)
- but dick doesn’t. he never had to and still gets away with not doing it when he visits.
- it’s beyond everyone else by this point how he does it.
- has an insane disregard for anyone else’s feelings, like they’ll yell at him for leaving his cereal bowls in the sink and he’ll just shrug and walk off.
- doesn’t mean he’s the favourite tho; just the eldest. he never gets away with things that require a bit of maturity, either hero work or wayne work.
- if he’ makes the wrong call on a mission or messes around in public or makes a bad impression on a client, he gets the phattest spray from bruce because he’s “older and should know better”.
- no one gets yelled at more than dick.
- which does not help the fact that dick has the shortest and most dangerous temper.
- ever heard of something along the lines of the eldest child was the rough draft, the children following were the more polished-parented ones?
- dick was the prime example of this.
- bruce was young when he adopted dick and still working through a lot of shit, a lot.
- (in the harshest way) his unresolved trauma was 100% the only reason he decided to adopt a random kid from the circus who’s parents just died.
- so though well intentioned, bruce didn’t do the best job of raising dick.
- he could hardly take care of himself and suddenly he was raising a child, and so dick wouldn’t have necessarily been nourished the way he should’ve.
- i reckon that’s something that hangs over bruce quite a lot as he aged (but this post isn’t bruce’s hyper evaluation so).
- in the end it resulted in a grown child who was used to getting what he wanted, hardly disciplined, unaware of how to properly express emotions, and in a constantly unstable environment; chasing adrenaline and risky activities (psychology 101).
- it’s no wonder dick would’ve responded badly to jason being adopted; a situation that he thought had become somewhat secure, was abruptly changed again without even a brief mention to him.
- he has a serious uncontrollable temper; where jason has PTSD to complicate his anger, he’s able to make rational (in jason terms) and controlled decisions -and have a decent patience- where-as when dick gets mad, he flies into a rage and does things he regrets afterwards constantly.
- dick’s funny and playful nature comes from needing to impress others and get their praise and attention.
- when he was little he would’ve had to entertain himself in the big manor, and when he joined bruce at galas and events everyone would gush over him -giving him the attention he so desperately craved (and probably anything he asked for).
- his ego and need for validation comes from the lack of attention and validation bruce gave him when he needed it most -whether he realises that’s why or not.
- which also leads into his tendency to be player. he knows he’s gorgeous, and he knows he can get anyone he wants, so he exploits that to solidify the thought that he is wanted, even when he mind tells him he’s not.
- i love bruce and i believe he is extremely regretful and actively trying to do better, however we can’t deny that dick -and jason- were more or less the failed test runs.
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So back on lord-radish I talked about a Pokemon Emerald ROMhack I was playing called Pokemon Emerald Crest. It's kind of a gimmick hack, in that it aims to insert every current Pokemon in the franchise into Emerald as well as like Mega Evolutions, but it was really good as a gen 3 stan who didn't get beyond the gen 4 games. It was hard as shit too, every gym leader had a party member who mega-evolves - the one time I didn't savescum after a gym leader wrecked me with a surprise mega-evolution, their party jumped from three mons to six and their levels all rose by 5. It was insanely hard, and I kind of loved it.
But Emerald Crest is actually a really well put-together ROMhack. Not only does it have every Pokemon up to generation 9, but the ROM has an in-built randomiser with dozens - like actual, literal dozens - of options for you to toggle between. This ROMhack has an in-built Nuzlocke mode with parameters to make the challenge easier or harder. It has an Open World mode where you pick a town to spawn in, get a starter and branch out from where you spawned. It has features from Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby like Dexnav, and you can even see your Pokemon's EVs and IVs - this is the only time I've ever cared about those things.
I'll show you the party I used to defeat the Elite 4. I had to grind them up by farming Blisseys in Victory Road, which is honestly just ridiculous but I still kinda loved it:
That's Meep the Ampharos, which I named well before the Star Beast hype - it was a cutesy way of saying Mareep, which this Pokemon began as. Then we have Punchcard the Metagross, which I named because Metagross is said to be as smart as a supercomputer. This Metagross was permanently mega-evolved due to an oversight from the romhacker, and I really needed it to get past the last leg of the game.
Then we have Sutu the Lucario, which took most of the endgame to evolve BC I didn't realise its evolution was based on the time of day. Then we have Gorp the Gyarados, because Magikarp spends its time flopping around, and my starter Bagon DN the Salamence. Her name is a Deez nuts joke. And then we have Gogsar the Obstagoon, because Gogsar is a stupid corruption of Rockstar and the Pokemon design is based on KISS.
This playthrough wasn't randomised at all. I played from beginning to end with the Pokemon available in this ROMhack's basegame. And I'm talking about it again because I'm starting a new run with randomised Pokemon - legendaries included - on Open World mode. I'm also playing an updated version of the hack, 1.0.9.2, instead of 1.0.8.6. My understanding is that with everyone's Pokemon being randomised, the gym leaders don't pull that random mega-evolution on you any more - so the skill curve should hopefully be more balanced.
Here's my party so far:
We've got Jorts the Chikorita, which I found on Route 101, and Jonkers the Machoke who was my starter. I originally started a run without selecting all the options I wanted, so I ended up losing my first starter, a Honchkrow named Bronkers - Jonkers is named in his memory.
And here's the Dexnav entries for the first three routes of my randomised playthrough:
I'm gonna catch Pokemon as I please, but I'm gonna try and hold out for some interesting picks. I was thinking about getting Fuecoco but I already have a starter in my party so I decided against it.
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Happy WBW from @magic-is-something-we-create!!! What's the weirdest/most outlandish class at magical college from an in-world perspective? Which class would you expect the reader to find most strange? And are all the classes magical, or are there gen ed options like statistics and lit analysis, too?
Happy WBW @magic-is-something-we-create ! Thanks you so much for the ask! To answer this, I do need to take a step back and discuss general schooling and life paths in the greater world. Sorry in advance for the word vomit.
Much like people in the modern world, everyone goes to primary school first. The big difference being schooling is standardized world-wide (you get the same kind and same level of schooling no matter where you are) and primary schooling is free. There is some disparity (esp when it comes to history class), but otherwise you're equipped with the same knowledge no matter where in the world you go, and you attend primary schooling from 8 years of age until 16.
After graduation, everyone gets two years off. There's no jumping right to college. Some people do nothing, some people prepare in other ways or otherwise begin preparations for their desired life path. The basic list of options are:
Go to regular college
Go to Magic college
Enter a trade school
Become a priest of one of the gods
Join the general workforce
Join your country's military
Unlike the real world, there is no "go to the military we'll pay for your college" extortion shit.
Regular college works like irl college does, with the exception that primary school was all the (subject) 101 shit so you enter college right off the bat with some kind of specialty.
Magic school is... similar. Because you need to have a degree in magic in order to legally use it beyond the magic already imbued in every day life.
In Magic school, your major is "magic". You spend your first four years learning the theory and the applications and there's soooome gen Ed options with magical flourish (geometry is important, for example, or there's literature classes where you study the writings of famous theologians and magic practitioners etc.). Mostly, though, you're going to learn the very basics of using magic, the history of it (because the world's magic system changed in recent enough history), and base info about the eight different realms of casting. At the end of your bachelor's, you choose one realm to specialize in and up to two others to "minor" in for your next three years. You are handed a sample spell tomb and a caster's glove and sent off to study for the summer before coming back.
For your masters program, it is mostly dedicated to your specific realm/s but there is some overlap. For example, magic has its own language that requires learning, with sub-languages (?) Devoted to each specific realm. So there are classes dedicated to learning the general language (mostly in bachelor's, your final year) and then the specific systems for each realm. You typically spend your first year learning the specifics of your realm and casting, as well as intro courses to any realm you minor in, then your second year expounding on it all. Your third year is dedicated to crafting your own spell book and thesis in preparation for, at the end, testing and defending both. Should you pass and thus graduate, you receive a hand tattoo the caster gloves are modeled after and enter the workforce under whatever realm you specialized in. I can expound on THAT in another post.
To answer your other questions, I think the weirdest in-world class at Magic College™️ would be "Embracing the Mundane", a class dedicated to learning how to balance Magic and nonmagic in your day to day life (which sounds antithetical when you are... spending 7 years learning Magic) because. Magic can't be all your life is yaknow? Another good one would be "Casters in Sociology" or, a relatively new addition, "Teratology", which would be the study of magical creatures and of the newly-discovered monsters. I think people may find "Sustainability in Casting" a weird one? Maybe? I'm not wholly certain.
I'm sorry this got so long but I hope this answered you! Please feel free to ask me more! I have spent so long with all of this in my skull and have been dying to share it.
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Just had to sit through a Safe Zone training for my job and listen to my coworkers give some freezing cold takes afterwards, and I am so desperate for spaces where I can have more in-depth discussion with other queer people who understand what they’re talking about. I have a couple of support groups that I go to every month at the local community center, but even those don’t tend to get beyond 201-level discussions, and I still hear some comments that ultimately come from bad-faith rhetoric (even though the person saying them likely does not know). There’s nothing wrong with that, and the Queer Identity 101 and 201 spaces are definitely needed, but I just... idk, I want to talk to people who are smarter than me and more experienced than me and more queer than me and more out than me. I want to have conversations that I’m still thinking about later, in a good way. I want to talk to people who can let me know if *I* am saying/thinking dumb shit, people who can give me perspective, who can answer my questions. I don’t think I’m some kind of authority, I am still a baby queer in some ways, but in the spaces I currently have access to I am often one of the people in the room with the most experience living with and learning about my identity. I don’t remember where I was going with this, I guess I’m just venting. It’s been on my mind lately. (If anyone does have suggestions for where to find spaces like this, I would love to hear about them!)
#lgbt&c#i hope this doesn't sound pretentious or anything; that's not how i mean it#i've just been having a Long Week
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there was a really lacklustre 'iceberg' video on the incomprehensible/unexplained. it was fairly weak. the bottom tier was just like basic level philosophy, like 4 dimensions and beyond (thats just fucking awful shitty shit math its only unexplained because learning that math makes you want to kill youself out of frustration), death (if youre talking about the mechanics of death that is fairly well explainable, if youre talking about life after death thats just either nothing from a purely scientific view or its fukkig religion)
life (which i guess is fialry strange but also its like philosophy 101 again) and nothing (heidegger. read him. or not. fascist cunt)
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Kids or No Kids?
My dad seems to have his high hopes again. Kinikilig pa rin daw pala ako sa lalaki. I told him that it was just a basketball game and that it's purely transactional. I gave in to his banat this time around. Happy ako e and getting better na rin though pagod and brain fog pa rin. I asked, "Dad, seryoso bang iniisip mong may chance na mag-anak ako. 37 na ako." He replied, "Oo naman. Nanay ko nga 45 'yung bunso e. Ikaw pa ba? Saka puwede pa 'yan." I followed up with, "So, kung bibigyan kita ng apo, lalaki ba o babae?" Dad immediately whacked me saying, "Lalaki at babae." DAFUDGE. Hahahahaha. Okay. Bukas na bukas din, magpapabuntis na ako since wala naman akong porblema sa pagiging runaway single parent. Sana lang kamukha ko kasi ako ang nagpasan ng daigdig. Honestly, parang 'yun ang mas practical route. Parang mas sustainable kasi sanay naman akong gumapang sa lusak at umiyak-tawa sa complications ng life and beyond. Get laid. Get a baby. Raise a baby. Hustle. Breakdown. Bawi. Laban. Repeat. CHZ. Puwede rin naman patanggal ko na uterus ko bukas na bukas din. Para tapos na. Or puwedeng matupad wish ko na mag-menopause na for realzzzz. Ang tagal. Inip na inip na ako. LOL.
My soul sister and have been talking about our quest to a NO KID adult life. She's happily married while I'm trying to give love another good chance (SHEMAYYYY. Nakakatakot.) Ako, nasa part na feeling ko talaga hindi ko kayang umire as in baka mamatay ako as an overthinker. Siya naman andun na sa after ng ire. Sabi ko mas advanced pa siya sa akin so I guess that's progress. :D LELS.
As we're in our "heal the inner children" era along with countless millennials and Gen X (kahit ayaw nilang aminin na may issues sila sa inner child nila) so, pasok na sa CHILD or CHILDREN 'yun 'di ba? Alagaan muna namin at pastulin. LELS.
And so, we're on a mega deduction and inductive reasoning like our Philo 101 class about why we choose not to have kids. Syempre, enter our favorite... because women take the larger shit pile kahit na super okay pa nung partner mo. Motherhood is not for all even though it is a rudimentary part of the social fiber. Not to dim the light of fatherhood ha. We're not as crass as before. LOL. I told you, I am trying. CHZ. Pero, now, moms usually need and want a life on top of unpaid work aka the shit show called career. HAHAHAHA. While it's actually ideal to have a mom inside a house to build a healthy, happy and humble home, it's but a rarity these days na may babaeng ultimate dream ang maging housewife. Even typing it is ugh. I remember cringing every time I write "housewife" sa occupation ng nanay ko. Hindi ko talaga nilalagay na N/A or none kasi I feel that being a housewife is a career path on its own; unpaid, horrid and self-shitting. 'Di ba? Parang any work lang din siya, but wait... ang KPI ng nanay walang kapantay. Society and its state, one kid at a time. So, motherhood success metrics don't compare to ANY job in the market; kahit 6 or 7 figures pa net annual income mo. Tabi.
Naniniwala akong dapat sa era na 'to or in my next lifetime, iba na dapat ang thinking and doing ng madlang people.
Making a home should be a two-way street. Ayaw natin ng one-way in every sense of the word. Haha. Raising kids should be a collaborative session 24/7. Supposing co-parenting or may partner ka etong scenarios na 'to. Parenting must not be a nod to social constructs. It must be a constant choice and an everyday hustle. Kids must not be retirement plans, in the same manner that they should not be an instrument of parents with shit shows that they dress to the nines.
Ergo, ekis. LOL. Kasi ako, gusto ko na lang 'yung chill lang ako for once in my life naman as pilit na bidang-kontrabida po sa family matters and even my other worlds, na feeling ko may auto-immune dogshow na tayo sa ating system pero wala akong pake kasi I will fucking power through to make mother dragon proud and me, too. Too much cortisol levels na po nasynthesize ng ating system plus overthinker po tayo, opo. Gusto ko na lang maging let it be mom if and only if matripan ko mag-pivot. Ganun lang. Ayoko ng maging captain ball, timon, tambuli and all the shebang. LOL. Hindi naman ako magiging pabigat, definitely. Pero hindi ko rin sure because saltik is real. Kung may technology na 'yung sperm donor ko aka partner or whatever you call it ang magkaroon ng labor as in the contractions, I will reconsider. Para medyo hindi naman ako lang ang bibira sa labor session. Labo 'di ba? Sana may dystopian reality na 'yung ganun, soon. CHZ.
Since we're already in the topic, when I came this content piece back when it was trending ages ago, huy. Eto na nga. Syempre, branded content and consumerism na naman po as a sweet ad game, pero what's not bound by consumption? Next time ko na 'to expound. Marami akong hugot dito.
When I watched this alam mo 'yung okay... gets ko 'yung gusto mo maging parent because... pero 'wag mo akong idamay. Mula noon hanggang ngayon, ganun pa rin. Well, pinanood ko ulit just now and medyo may character arc development naman. Siguro if may window na maging mutant na okay 'yung anak ko, why not? LOL. Eto na naman po tayo. So, I am the tita of the bayan, zooming in and out in the lives of my kiddos. LOL. Will update that bit as well bilang lolollolloll ang mga Gen Z at Gen Alpha kiddos ko. Aba.
However, hindi ako anti-children ha. Kailangan natin ng bahagdan ng lipunan na naniniwala sa miracle of life, sa children are the future. Ganern.
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I made a new friend in my 30s...
I know a lot of people struggle with the idea of making friends in your 30s.. and also making friends in a new city as a non-school-attending-and-remote-working adult. I am 32 and recently Made A Friend after moving to San Francisco 2 years ago. Here is my story of how I made a friend.
Before covid, my hobbies were basically hanging out with my pre-existing friends, reading, baking, and netflix. When I moved to SF, I didn't have any friends, so falling back to my old hobbies left me feeling pretty isolated. It also didn't help that I was in a shitty and stressful living situation.
After talking on the phone with a friend in my old town about how neither of us Do Anything or Have Hobbies, I had a flash of fuck it I'm going to sign up for some shit really fast before the depression and anxiety kicks in a stops me. So right after that phone call, I signed up for two activities that had always been on the back of my mind. The first activity was fencing because I had seen a fencing gym nearby and had always thought it would be cool. The second activity was improv comedy, which is also something I had been kind of interested in but never bothered with. Both of these things I signed up for with the intention of making some motherfucking friends, specifically female friends.
The fencing class came first. When I arrived the class was composed of 3 entire other women!! 3 entire women!! and only women!! I was overjoyed to have found a non male dominated space as I work in tech and am extremely sick of men. The first class went well, and there was one girl who I felt like could be a potential friend fit. Unfortunately, that was about as good as it got.. the rest of the 7 classes almost nobody showed up. I was often the only student or there would be just me and some random guy. I really liked the sport, but when I got to the second level epee (type of sword) class, and it was all men, I just couldn't do it. You know how it is. I decided to cut my losses on fencing eventually after about 2 months. I hope to come back to the sport someday because its pretty badass and I was good at it, but I needed to make some friends first.
Improv comedy classes bore more fruit than fencing. I started taking improv 101 at a local improv school, and there were 2 other women in the class. I got friendly with one of them, and we ended up doing a bunch more classes together. Our relationship never really progressed beyond improv, but that was ok. Through improv I started to actually start to be invited to social events centered around improv. People from my classes would get together to go to dinner and then see an improv show, or grab drinks after. It took about 6 months to get to the point where I could say "Im getting dinner with my improv friends" Even though I didn't feel like I was making friend friends, I was making acquaintances. Before you make a friend you have to make an acquaintance. My sense of social isolation really lessened during this time and I ended up continuing all the way with improv, making one of the house teams and performing weekly.
About 3/4 of the way through my improv journey, I decided to pick up ballet. I had done ballet as a child, and wanted to revive that part of my life. I hadn't been working out at all during my time in SF, even though that's the #1 piece of advice for beating depression. I wanted something that would be intellectually challenging as well as being a form of exercise. Entering my first ballet class was exciting because it was almost all women! So many options for potential friends! Class was twice a week and I would always make a point to chat with people before and after and ask them questions about themselves, why they are doing ballet, etc. I stuck with this approach for a couple of months. As time went on, we all kind of ended up picking our "spot" at the barre, and I started chatting more with the girl on my left. I could tell that she was making friends with some of the other girls in class, and I was desperate to get in on that friend group. That sounds kind of sad now, but really, I was desperate. I realized that if I wanted to make a real connection I was going to have to focus more on one or two people instead of chatting with kind of everyone like I had been doing, so I focused on chatting with the girls who stood next to me.
One day, a group of about 6 of us decided to go to a nearby bar after class. I got to know them on a more personal level, such as their relationship status, their pets, etc. It turned out that the girl on my left lived about 4 blocks away from me! We started carpooling to ballet class and from there we realized that we had a lot more in common - we were the same age, both had a small dog, both in a long term relationship. One time, she got into my car and I realized that she was wearing the exact same perfume that I had just bought! We had a laugh about that. With her, it was so easy because our lives fit together so seamlessly. She also shared with me that she was in a phase of trying to make friends after recently completing a degree. I think that finding someone who was also putting themselves out there was key. We started going to other workout classes together, texting a lot, and just generally being in each other's orbit.
That pretty much brings me up to date. It took me about 2 years and maybe 100 acquaintances to make 1 friend. It was extremely hard and depressing at times. During this period, I also got on an antidepressant. I don't think that the medication was integral to this process per se, it just gave me more energy and a little extra oomph. Since probably only a brave few have soldiered through this wall of text, thanks for listening!
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So I have begun reading the infamous 2010s webcomic Homestuck.
A memo (ugh, word ruined) of me, and vocalizing my thoughts, at what, around page 2680 or something currently 4122. Published for venting my own insanity for the greater un-good.
KEY NOTES
PSS: Past Shiranai San
CSS: Current Shiranai San
___
CSS: And this isn't even ironic, I just lost my mind one night and wrote half this draft and then proceeded to read 2000 more pages like 2 weeks later and I cannot let PSS's thoughts die for the sake of making a cohesive post. If you don't want to read, TLDR; Shit is WACK. I'm loving it, all is well.
If you do, take a gander at the read more section. Also, obviously, spoilers.
PSS: I sit here on the edge of finishing the second act of the fifth act of Homestuck.
Approximately a fourth of the way done and questioning myself what madness I have found myself swept away in.
Floating at the top of a mammoth-ian wave. Not my first, when reading. As I have been washed onto many waves. Floating in a vast sea, as one act brings me down one wave and onto another. Like I'm riding an aquatic rollercoaster.
As quoted from Kanye West's song Dark Fantasy, can we get much higher?
PSS: In every piece of media, there is a suspension of disbelief that comes when partaking in media. For the past month I have hung my disbelief on my wall next to my 2016 Artistic Cat Calendar.
How higher can we go though? I mean truly? Perhaps it is my own hubris that I cannot visualize the true complexities that come from Green Sun-Paradox Clone-Troll Romance-Multiple Timeline deli levels of baloney.
And I can't even be mad as I slip into this whirlpool of time paradoxes and too much Charles Dutton.
Because I love it!
PSS: I'm enthralled in the ever looping structure of the story. Where, every moment in every character's life exists to perpetuate SBURB/SGRUB. Including their own existence-
CSS: Current Shiranai here, taking over the post. While my past self has made a compelling argument. She did however forget the ever important fact that the most extreme macaroni will happen in any Alpha timeline. Rookie mistake, but it's not something I'd expect from someone with only ~2000 pages under their belt. Her trespasses will be ignored.
In any case, yes, it has been a long ride, similarly to Ernest Hemingway's The Old Man and The Sea. With this post being the marlin I have strung to my boat.
My belief as to why I have been so captivated to Homestuck so far is because it truly is a coming of age story which deals with themes (so far, because I haven't finished it yet) of loss, crossing cultural boundaries, friendship, love, hatred, and questioning the aspect of your self will vs what was always fated to happen. Also a lot of war and genocide.
...A lot.
CSS: But instead of taking in these classical themes as the usual audience, a bunch of plucky tweens and teenagers from the 2010s, I get to experience it in the foresight of a young adult with the consistency of leftover Papier-mâché.
CSS: If I had to generalize my experience so far. Reading Homestuck has been a lot like watching a group of middle-schoolers take place in the world's worst emotional hacky-sack game. Where every kick, one middle schooler flies a felt ball into emotional heights. Only for it to face plant into the ground of heartbreak. As half break down into tears and the other half memes about 90s sitcoms. Until one of them gets so fed up with the game that he saws the floor and 2/3s of the game's population in two with a chainsaw.
Which then accelerates to dealing with matters-beyond-human-comprehension, as well as ascension to god-hood as a way of fighting off an omnipresent being. Until the fourth wall literally supernovas into the main plot through banner art as I sit in History 101 with Professor Scratch.
CSS: It's just a lot and I've been having a lot of fun with it.
#homestuck#rants n rambles#this is insanity#shira-isms#talking to myself#tumblr is just the medium I'm documenting my slide into insanity#you might not under any of this#and thats okay!#post for me#but you can read it too
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Paper Crafts (Ethan x MC)
Book: Open Heart, Book 2
Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x Dr. Marchia Bisognin (F!MC)
Premise: Even after creating some distance between them, Ethan still struggles to stay away.
Rating / Category: Teen / Angst
Warning(s): Curse words, mention of blood
Word Count: 903 words
Prompt: 41. “Let me see your scars...” from 101 ways to say i love you prompts
A/N: Another prompt request from my dear friend @headoverheelsforramsey! Sruti asked for an angsty twist, so I hope y’all don’t mind for a little bit of angst in this fic 😬 That being said, please enjoy!
Ethan scribbled his charts impatiently against the empty desk of the nurses’ station; eyes tired and bloodshot, a throbbing headache spectacularly mocking him to his face. If he respected himself and acted as a reasonable man, then he would have wrapped up his day and head back home.
But, he was not the logical, rational man he had hoped to be, was he?
At least, not anymore. Not after he met her.
Correction: not after he fell in love with her.
He cursed at himself for bringing up such thoughts again. Accepting the expedition job at the Amazon meant he would act strictly professional with her, to be just colleagues; creating another line that could never be crossed. Yet, here he is, flooded by the same feelings that perhaps never really left—the very same wave of emotions that came rushing back, stronger than ever.
How he wished he could just switch off his brain; stop himself from thinking about her.
“Shit, shit, shit.”
Her muffled voice was laced with concern, shuffled footsteps echoing through the hallway as Marchia passed right behind him. Out of curiosity, he permitted himself to follow the small figure using the corners of his eyes until she finally vanished into the free clinic’s examination room.
A tinge of uneasiness pulsated through his body. For a minute, Ethan was rooted on the place he stood—unable to move—the dread in his stomach weighing him down. Did something happened to her?
As the pull towards her growing even more magnetic, he found himself right in front of the sleek, modern door; his hand gripping the handle tightly. Part of him was afraid to see her again, to feast on those gorgeous green eyes he had craved so much. Scared to admit that he has fallen—fallen deep beyond salvation.
Then again, he never really had the strength to walk away from her—even when he was tucked five thousand miles away.
With a steadying breath, Ethan slowly entered the room; only to be greeted by the sight of her rummaging through the cabinets. The heat of his gaze rubbed in on the back of her neck—causing her realize that there is an uninvited guest setting foot in the limited space between them.
“Are you alright?” he asked at last, keeping his voice leveled.
“It’s.. nothing,” she huffed, hesitant to turn around and face him.
Taking one step closer, his eyes scanned the sterile surroundings around them to find some clues; any clue that would allow him to help her. He could not help but feel the insides of him clench when his gaze fell on the tiny, faint droplets of blood, scattered on the counter.
“Are you hurt, Marchia?” he blurted immediately, almost unable to hide the rising panic in his tone.
“I’m fine.”
She released a weighted sigh, then turned her body to meet him.
“I was making some paper crafts for Ava, the little girl with lung cancer that came in two weeks ago,” she explained, barely noticing his worried expression. “And I accidentally grazed my arm with the utility knife.”
Ethan stared back at her for a beat too long.
“Let me see them.”
“I don’t think that’s necessa—”
“Let me see your scars...” he said, quieter this time, dangerously close to a beg. “Please, Marchia.”
Much to her dismay, the blonde doctor extended her left arm; wound still covered in her spare shirt she usually kept in her locker. His heart was racing out of his chest as he touched her again for the first time in three months—fleeting memories of their tangled bodies infiltrated his mind.
“I’ll clean this up and apply the bandages,” he redirected his focus back to her, this time offering a genuine smile.
The indistinct and mindless chatter outside filled their room while Ethan swiftly tended to her wounds. Neither of them knew what to say, letting the stifling silence coat the air, desperately hoping to lengthen their time together—becoming just Ethan and Marchia. No titles, no obligations.
“Thank you,” she recited, looking at the neatly placed bandages on her arm, tone almost impassive.
Somehow, the coldness that was evident in those words stings more than it should.
“You’re welcome,” he uttered in response.
A small hint of pain became apparent in her expression. “I— I need to go.”
Don’t. Stay, please.
“Okay.”
You’re going lose her.
Marchia hurriedly walked towards the exit, averting her eyes to the ground, hiding the fresh tears that swelled in it. The sweet scent of her floral perfume, propelled by the gentle hum of cool air, twirled in his nose as she left his side.
Suddenly, she stopped at the door frame. “Ethan, I—”
Want you. I need you, Marchia.
Silence.
“It’s— I mean—” her words were cut off abruptly, her body tensing from afar.
Tell her now.
Eventually, she decided to shook her head, finding her composure. “Never mind.”
Stop her, you coward.
His lips parted in an attempt to say something, say anything—anything that could make her stay. But the words that were hanging on the tip of his tongue never came out.
As she slipped out of the room and disappeared into the hallway, his face crumples into a crestfallen expression; throat swallowing the unusual tide of emotions that threatened to submerge him.
Maybe it was true.
Maybe some things are better left unsaid.
Additional A/N: I’m still accepting prompt requests, but it might take a while for me to write them! Feel free to ask me any number from the 101 ways to say i love you prompts and I’ll try my best to make one 🤍
I’ll be tagging in a separate post!
#open heart#open heart choices#choices open heart#open heart fanfiction#open heart fanfic#open heart fic#oph fanfiction#oph fanfic#play choices#pixelberry#ethan ramsey#ethan jonah ramsey#dr. ethan ramsey#ethan x mc#ethan ramsey x mc#choices fic writers creations#cfwc fics of the week#fics of the week#101 ways to say i love you prompts#Ethan x Marchia
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possible prompt for a university au: newt is the biology major who maintains all the fish tanks in the physics building at 11pm and hermann is the physics student who likes to wander the halls to think. newt accidentally flings water all over the ground and hermann trips, hijinks ensue.
earlier today I was thinking about how I wrote a college AU fic almost 3 years ago to the date, and how I wanted to do more bc its fun thinking about newt and hermann as dumb college students
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Newt's not really sure how he ended up with the weirdest work-study job on the planet, but honestly, things could be much, much worse (he could be stuck down in the dining hall, or dealing with confused freshmen in the school bookstore) so he keeps his thoughts on the whole thing to himself. Every Friday at eleven sharp, Newt pulls on his grodiest t-shirt and a pair of long rubber gloves and treks all the way over to the physics department to set to work scrubbing down the fish tanks that line the classroom walls. Why does the physics department have fish tanks? Newt's not really sure about that, either. It's kind of an insane amount of them, too, more than even the marine bio department has. Maybe it's supposed to boost morale or something. Hey, look at these crazy cool tropical fish who get to do nothing but eat and swim in circles, sorry you're stuck inside calculating velocity and shit.
Whatever, Newt's not complaining about that either. Let the physics nerds have their fun. It'll be good for them to branch out a little, realize there's life beyond robotics club meetings.
Also, Newt likes the fish. They're cute. He likes to think they like him, too, because they're very well behaved when he has to scoop them out of their tanks and plop them into smaller fish bowls (the kind goldfish in movies always use). He's going to teach them tricks eventually—he had a beta fish once who would do a little flip when Newt tapped the glass a certain way because he knew he'd get rewarded with dried worms, so Newt knows it's possible. Just imagine, a hundred fish doing flips on command. Newt Geiszler, fish whisperer.
Yeah, maybe the job could be more glamorous. It's really hard to get algae out of the gloves, and he hasn't been allotted the budget for a new pair yet.
"Hey, guys!" he shouts as he pushes in the door to room 214. The fish don't acknowledge him: they just continue swimming in their giant tank. In and out of plastic plants and rock caves. The rock caves were a gift from Newt three months into the job, and so were some of the moss balls—stimulation is important for fish! He wouldn't want to be trapped in a glass box with nothing to do, either. "I bet you missed me. Ready for a clean tank?"
Newt always talks to the fish, even if they don't talk back, because he thinks it's important to build their trust. He'll usually keep a running commentary of his week as he scrubs the tanks, just get everything off his chest that he needs to get off. Stuff he's worried about. Stuff that went well. Stuff that went badly. Therapy's expensive, and Newt's student health insurance can only cover so much, but talking to fish? That's free.
That's also kinda why he does it so late at night and over the weekend. The last thing he wants is an audience. Because, one, talking to fish is admittedly weird, and two, no one wants a glimpse at Newt's psyche like that, probably not even the fish.
The first step in cleaning the tanks is relocation. Newt digs his stereotypical goldfish bowls and an industrial-size mesh wand out of the supply closet, fills the former with some of the special tank salt water, and begins the slow and arduous task of scooping out the fish and depositing them into the bowls. "I had the lamest week," he announces once he's about three clownfish in. "I was working on a group project Saturday—"
Then Newt stops, because he hears footsteps in the hallway just outside the classroom.
Serial killer, Newt's instincts supply helpfully.
No, Newt corrects himself, that's dumb. Why would a serial killer wander into the physics building at eleven o'clock at night? Why would anyone, period? He's probably imagining stuff. Lack of sleep, stress over his upcoming projects, residual embarrassment from his disaster study session Saturday, all of it culminating in Newt thinking there's someone there. No, definitely imagining it. Newt can only even get in this late to the department because his ID swipe card is set up with the right permissions—not even the physics students have the permissions he does to be in this late at night. Well, not unless they clean the kitchenette in the student lounge or something.
Or if Newt left the door unlocked.
More footsteps. Closer now.
Newt's pretty sure he didn't leave the door unlocked, because he thinks it locks automatically behind him, and he would have to literally prop it open for anyone to get in after him. But anything's possible. The door could've caught on a dropped pencil or a paper scrap or other weird shit that physics students leave around, and a serial killer could've noticed and taken the opportunity to sneak inside on the off chance a hapless young biology major was scrubbing slime off fish tanks in the middle of the night. Any minute now, Newt's about to end up on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries. The Physics Department Murder. The Disappearing Biologist. (Nah, neither of those are very good titles, but that's why Newt isn't on the creative writing track.)
Step-tap-step. Closer now; Newt's heart leaps to his throat. Step-tap-step. Step-tap-step. Pausing just outside the door of room 214. God, why didn't Newt turn the lights off? Why didn't he shut the door?
Newt reaches for the first vaguely weapon-shaped thing he can find—an empty fishbowl, because Newt's not going to sacrifice any of the fish for this—and, as the door swings open, hurls it with a cry.
The bowl clunks on the ground. Except it turns out Newt grabbed the wrong fish bowl, because (even though it doesn't shatter, thank God) water quickly begins to seep across the slate floor tiles towards Newt's serial killer, a pathetic little clownfish (Newt thinks this one is named Albert, because the physics department is made up of nerds who do shit like name their random pet fish after their kind) flopping around in the puddle. Newt's serial killer, meanwhile, cries out similarly, his arms windmilling as he loses his footing and slips backwards, his cane—
Oh, fuck.
The intruder is not a serial killer. It's someone possibly worse, actually: Newt's mortal enemy, Hermann Gottlieb.
Newt's not really sure at what point Hermann became his mortal enemy and not just some guy I have class with that I hate, but he can pretty easily say that they've hated each other since the moment Hermann walked through the doors of Engineering 101 and was deigned Newt's lab partner by the Alphabetized By Last Name Seating Chart god. Something about Hermann just gets under Newt's skin. It's not his prissy English accent, or his oversized sweaters, or his absolutely horrendous haircut, and it's not even that he takes every opportunity to savagely rip apart every single thing Newt says in class. Don't get Newt wrong, that's all super fucking annoying, but it's annoying levels he can deal with.
It's the stuff they have in common that makes Newt hate him. It's like Hermann's a slightly broodier and more angular mirror that reflects all of Newt's most egregious faults—his arrogance, his stubbornness, his social awkwardness, his desperation to be taken seriously—right back at him. It sucks.
Plus, one time Newt caught Hermann ripping down the flyer he put up on the quad for Anime Club to advertise his stupid chess club instead, and he's never managed to forgive him for that.
Newt may hate Hermann, but he's not about to let him land on his ass in a puddle of fishy water (especially not on a freezing November night) just because the subsequent bitching would be unbearable, and, yeah, it would be supremely shitty of Newt, so he leaps forward just in time to catch Hermann and his cane before he hits the ground. He's so impressed with himself with his amazing catch that it takes him a few seconds to realize that Hermann is shouting and probably has been shouting since he slipped.
"—bloody maniac! What on earth are you doing in here? How are you in here? Did you just assault me? I'm going to phone campus police, you wretched—"
"Hold that thought," Newt says.
He rights Hermann and snags the mesh net and rescues poor Al before it's too late, dropping him back into the big tank with the rest of his friends. Newt can't be sure, but he thinks Al blows a bubble in thanks at him. Maybe he needs to make friends outside fish.
Hermann is still yelling at him.
"I am going to tell the head of the department you're—you're skulking about in here after hours!" he declares. "You're a menace. Pay attention to what I'm saying to you, Newton!"
Newt sighs and turns around. Hermann's turned an interesting shade of red—sort of like an over-boiled lobster, or if he fell asleep in the sun for too long. Newt wonders if it's from embarrassment (almost falling on his ass) or anger (almost being knocked on his ass). Probably anger. "Look, dude, I'm sorry," Newt says. His face twists like he ate a lemon, and he hopes Hermann doesn't notice. Newt hates apologizing to Hermann. "It's my job to clean the tanks every weekend. You scared the shit out of me and I freaked out—it's just that, like, no one ever comes by this late. Ever." He decides not to mention the serial killer thing. Hermann might make fun of him for being jumpy or paranoid or something.
Hermann's scowl doesn't lessen, but he does nod. Plus, he stops shouting. That's as much as Newt's gonna get of forgiveness. "Hmph," Hermann says. "You clean the tanks?"
"Every weekend," Newt repeats. He realizes he got some fish tank slime on Hermann's button-up when he caught him. Oops. Hopefully Hermann won't notice until Newt's in the safety of his dorm. "Gotta pay for my textbooks somehow." Then he frowns. "Wait, so what are you doing here? I didn't know you had access to the building this late."
Maybe Hermann is the kitchenette-cleaning guy after all. But, to his surprise, Hermann sniffs and casts his eyes to his dorky Oxford shoes. "Er," he says. "It's just—I was having trouble working out a solution to a problem, and thought a walk might do me good. Chilly nights like this one always do. And I quite like this building at night—it's calm, and much quieter than my dormitory." He fidgets. "And—well—only don't say anything to anyone, but I rewrote the permissions of my ID card so I could come and go wherever I please ages ago."
"You rewrote the permissions?" Newt says. "What the hell, wouldn't you have to hack into the security system or something to do that?"
"Well, obviously," Hermann says.
Despite himself, and despite Hermann being his Mortal Enemy, Newt is genuinely impressed. "Dude," he says. "That is so badass." Since when has Hermann been a badass?
Hermann's eyebrows jump, and he blinks at Newt behind his dorky librarian glasses. What twenty-one-year-old wears librarian glasses? With a chain? "You think so?" he says.
"Uh, totally," Newt says. "What problem were you stuck on? The one from Saturday?"
Being lab partners for engineering means Newt and Hermann have to collaborate on pretty much everything, including their midterms. Their midterm is what they've been working on for the past two weeks. On Saturday, though, they met in neutral ground to work on it (a reserved study room in the library), and, after a stupid and massive argument that had the librarians hoisting them out by their shirt collars and threatening to ban them for life, Hermann called Newt an idiot and stomped off into the night. Newt still hasn't gotten around to giving the problem another shot. Whatever, they have another week before the dumb thing is due. Plenty of time. Hermann nods. "Yes," he says. "Er—that one."
Newt glances at the clock ticking away on the wall. Quarter after eleven. Hermann's delayed him a whole fifteen minutes. Technically, he reminds himself, he doesn't actually have to have the tanks scrubbed by Friday night—he has the whole weekend to get it done. Also, he kind of feels like he owes Hermann for attacking him the way he did. Accidentally attacking. "Listen, Hermann," he says, feeling totally insane for what he's about to suggest. But he kind of wants to know more about Hermann The Badass. "What if we went back to my place and worked on it together? I'll buy us pizza, and I have, like, a bunch of energy drinks." The pizza place nearest campus is open until three in the morning, almost definitely because they get all of their business from sleep-deprived undergrads. Plus, they have midnight specials where you get free breadsticks with every pizza. Newt could go for some breadsticks. "It might be...fun," he adds.
Fun? With Hermann? Hermann will think he hit his head or something.
But to his surprise, Hermann doesn't hesitate even a second before saying "Alright, then."
"Oh," Newt says. He honestly thought Hermann would put up more of a struggle. "Cool!"
"But I might need to borrow a jumper," Hermann says. "If you'd be so...courteous, that is. I'm a bit chilly."
For some reason, the thought of Hermann (Newt's mortal enemy, but also a secret badass) curled up in one of Newt's baggy sweatshirts makes Newt feel all weird and warm all over. He swallows a few times, because his throat feels a little weird, too. Too tight. Like he just ate something he's allergic to. "No sweat," Newt says. "Let me just get these fish back in the, um, the tank. And—" He waves his slimy, gloved hands. "Take these off. And clean up that puddle. Gimme—um, gimme like, ten minutes?"
"Of course," Hermann says, and gives Newt a small, terse nod.
From Hermann, it's a smile. Newt almost slips on the puddle he's so blindsided by it. Stupid Hermann, making him feel all weird and clumsy.
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C!Tommy Isn't a Hero: An Inniter-Approved Meta
first off if this gets screen-shotted, I'd like to say I'm a goddamn Inniter <3
cw: canonical mentions of abuse, torture, trauma
we love analyzing the issues of morality on the DSMP and it's incredibly popular to portray c!Techno & c!Philza on the darker side of the scale. Listen this is a hard pill to swallow but heroes, actual heroes in literature and real life agents of change have to focus on Ideals™️ and conceptualizing the consequences to their actions beyond their personal circle of friends/family. Anybody on the DSMP that DOESN'T think about high-level concepts that require critical thinking, which lemme break that down, is POLITICS!
Some of you might already tune out but to be CLEAR: politics at the very foundation is strengthening empathy past your friends and family, your neighbors, and beyond your community.
c!Techno and c!Philza think about political ideologies like anarchy to solve problems for their community and for the larger DSMP as a whole like taking down oppressive political structures (yes, c!Tubbo and c!Quackity use both political & physical weapons to commit state violence) which includes New L'Manberg.
Techno and Philza, as the characters, actually show more empathy and understanding for others' pain and struggle because they understood that state violence and war crimes against their citizens (and non-citizens as well) is well,,,, BAD
And they put a stop to it! They were an agent of significant change! Right now the Syndicate is actually c!Techno and c!Philza working on making lasting change and making sure it doesn't happen again. They're morally grey like anyone else but holy shit they aren't villains? Like bruh what are you on??? They're people and make mistakes and they are miscommunications (bedrocks bros,,, tragic friendship my beloved </3)
c!Tommy?? He's not like c!Wilbur, c!Tubbo, and c!Quackity, that's for sure. They are well aware of their actions and the consequences that may last longer than the scars on their skin. They weaponize their words and know that there are greater things that move people than just a crying friend. I'd argue they're darker than c!Tommy on the moral spectrum. I'm not even gonna talk about c!Schlatt lmao
However c!Tommy ISN'T a hero (thanks c!Wilbur propaganda) and he ISN'T a good person!!!! Guys if you miss those two key concepts about him, are we watching the same white boy? He has hurt people both friends and enemy, he clings to peace through stagnation, and focuses on sentiments/attachments.
It's a huge misunderstanding because normally traditional "heroes" are given those characteristics of caring about their friends and having cute items that define them.
But hey,,, this is the dsmp,,, where c!BBH is undeniably attached to Skeppy,,,, and c!Ponk and c!Sam are in love with each other even though they are directly opposed to each other, LIKE NOTHING IS CLEAR CUT HERE MOTHERFUCKER!!!
a quick post on canon relationships, my beloved
(cowards didn't even mention Ghostbur and Friend lol)
even c!Schlatt was married to c!Quackity, like yes it was abusive & toxic, but goddamn all the characters are people and they fall in love and have friends and they can order state executions and torture their lovers
c!Tommy isn't any different than anyone else on the DSMP, like wake up and smell the primes!!!! XD he isn't the only character that has friends & sentiments :D
What does make him different than the earlier characters I've mentioned is that he's DIRECTLY focused on friends & family, attachments/sentiments, he's more dangerous than mercenary c!Punz because his goals/motivations cannot be bought. C!Punz has a huge crush on Sam Nook and he does murder <3
c!Tommy is a morally grey character, sometimes he dips DARK like with torturing c!Fundy, his ignorance of Ideals is why he enabled c!Wilbur's power schemes, it's one thing to buy someone's help and another to be manipulated and believed with whole life and love. C!Tommy is an admirable character and his fatal flaw is his stubbornness.
C!Tommy can't be a hero,,,, because he never was one,,,, he doesn't bring significant AND lasting change, and he only cares about the direct impacts on his Loved Ones,,, and that was easy to support a Community when it was only four people. Now there's 30 total members on the DSMP and there's no more "easy" nation to consolidate his "loyalty" qualities under.
The biggest thing for C!Tommy right now wouldn't just be an Introduction to Political Science 101 class but also the character growth to let go. He has huge trauma connected to the themes of "change" and I'd like to see him heal by realizing it's possible to stop hurting others back. Thinking about larger political impacts of his actions would actually strengthen his empathy as it did for c!Wilbur, as he realized what he did was WRONG, and then decided to rectify it by destroying the weapon he made. L'Manberg.
I'd like to leave you all with the homework of what weapon c!Tommy had made ":)"
#c!tommy#dsmp analysis#tommyinnit#c!techno#mcyt#IM A BORN AND BRED INNITER#I THINK ABOUT WOMEN AND PRIMES#and I love Zablr a lot#even if they wanna kill me on sight sometimes lmao#zablr#also it legit irritates me whenever I see takes about c!Tommy as a hero#HOW DOES IT TASTE WITH THAT VILBUR PROPAGANDA??#he isn't a hero and Pogtopia Wilbur forced that title on him and basically spread misinformation about his ambitions#when really c!Tommy don't even care about politics and power lmao#i love him but pls expand ur empathy and compassion#ALSO PLEASE GO THROUGH A HEALING ARC#CC!TOMMY HAVE MERCY
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omg your teacher!spencer HC got me thinking and imagine a school AU where all the characters are different teachers
hotch is the principal
spencer could be a high school chemistry teacher or an elementary teacher (honestly he could teach anything he wants lol)
jj is an elementary teacher
derek is a coach
emily is a languages teacher
and so on...
OOOH YAH (teacher!spencer hc here) were gonna say this is like a K-12 school just because...
Hotch: total principal, are you kidding? no other character has ever principaled quite as hard; comes off very boring and stern, but has a huge soft spot for the trouble makers and is lowkey an amazing mentor; runs one of those young gentlemen’s groups where he teaches them how to tie their ties and shit; coaches the debate team; travels to all the classrooms throughout the year as a guest reader and is surprisingly great at story voices
Gideon: chaotic AP that actually doesn’t really help at all— half the time Hotch isn’t even sure where he is; usually letting kids get away with shit because he thought it was pretty clever; helps with the senior prank
Rossi: replaces Gideon as AP when he retires and doesn’t do much better; always in his office; when kids get in trouble they have to come to him first— only the most severe offenses go to Hotch— so he deals with a lot of kids who get caught with like cigs or other contraband and always “confiscates” it; the kids love him bc he’s hilarious and also bc he knows a lot of pop culture that they’re into
Derek: could go either way for me— either he’s the gym teacher who takes it a little too seriously, OR he’s the English teacher who uses Nas and Tupac in his poetry unit; either way, definitely coaches after school; he’s a favorite among the kids for sure— he jokes around constantly, has a secret handshake for every kid; talks to them on their level, and always lets them play games at the end of the day (around the world, heads up seven up, etc)
Spencer: already talked about this in my hc but he’s just the best teacher; not afraid to be a total weirdo/goofball; very conscious and supportive of different learning styles and preferences; has the most ambient classroom; his students are always the smartest in the whole damn building because he reads up on every single teaching strategy and knows how to utilize them to best support his kids
JJ: elementary teacher for sure; she’s a Pinterest/IG teacher thru and thru— like her classroom is aesthetically perfect (organized, labeled, color-coded) and she probably has an essential oil diffuser or something; she definitely plays with the kids at recess— either kicking the soccer ball around, playing tag, jumping rope, or just laying in the grass and chatting in the sunshine
Penelope: she replaces the stuffy old tech teacher who spent 5 weeks forcing everyone to learn intermediate excel; at first the kids are like 👀 because Penny G is bright— but on the first day she has them all design their own websites and everyone immediately loves her; teaches them to code; runs an after school “tech club” which is literally just hacking skills 101
Emily: absolutely the languages teacher; also, a hot mess; the complete opposite of JJ— her classroom is literally just the furniture that was provided by the school and like three posters that JJ forced her to hang up bc “jesus Em it looks like a prison in here.” the kids don’t really care— they love her bc she just gets them and she’s always got snacks; also regales them with stories and pictures from all of her travel and years abroad; definitely organizes and chaperones various Europe trips and exchange student programs
Tara: the teacher that does not give a single fuck about what anyone thinks about her style abd methods; teaches some type of social science, maybe sociology; loves her kids and knows they can handle tough/weighty conversations; facilitates many debates and mostly manages to stay neutral; kids hang out in her classroom after school; definitely teaches older kids; very sarcastic with them and they love it
Luke: socially a himbo, academically a nerd; teaches chemistry and makes it super accessible and easy to grasp; always eating in the lab even though it’s against his own rules; his favorite day of the year is the ice cream in a bag day; brings Roxy to work with him occasionally and the kids are obsessed
Matt: definitely teaches some type of history or social studies; always has coffee (he has five kids of his own, he’s exhausted); he’s really into the presidents for some reason and knows like all kinds of random facts about them (like the Taft bathtub fiasco and that Zachary Taylor shat himself to death); coaches cross country or swimming and won’t shut up about it
Stephen: the guidance counselor; literally just the nicest human on the planet; will let you sit in his office and cry any time; writes extremely heartfelt recommendation letters for college apps; has a candy drawer and a collection of stress balls
Blake: definitely everyone’s teacher mom; genuinely loves and cares for every student and they keep in touch with her after they graduate; also teaches English and she and Derek are BFF; they run a literary magazine club after school and do a slam poetry night in the cafeteria; gets a lot of “you changed the course of my life” letters
Kate: the cool teacher; she’s an adult, but she’s still in the know about everything the kids like; has a fun teacher Tik Tok account; uses her clout with the kids to influence their decision making aka gets all the gossip so that she can surreptitiously counsel and educate her kids about being safe and advocating for themselves— in online/social media spaces and beyond
#homoose answers#homoose headcannons#again this got long af#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds au
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