#being pretty indifferent toward everyone else
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— MORAL ALIGNMENT
true neutral
True Neutral people believe in the ultimate balance of forces, and they refuse to see actions as either good or evil. True Neutral individuals do their best to avoid siding too strongly with any one force, whether that force is good or evil, lawful or chaotic. For this reason, True Neutral personalities sometimes find themselves drawn into rather peculiar alliances, friendships, and life paths. To a great extent, they side with the underdog, sometimes even changing sides as the previous loser becomes the winner. Such people often see good, evil, chaos, and laws as simply prejudices that lead to dangerous extremes. Like the Taoist masters of ancient China, they tend to believe that the universe functions best when the light and the dark, the yin and the yang, are in balance.
TAGGED BY: @mercless ♡
TAGGING: @witchcraftandburialdirt (for robin and haru) @deathfxnds @vulpesse @windchaser (but only if y'all feel like doing it ♡)
#» out of character — ⌜main sup irl.⌟#» dash games — ⌜the blades are honed; let us test their edges.⌟#the fact she's Exactly in the middle between good and evil.........#we love to see it#but yeah i think the leaning more to lawful than chaotic makes sense too#i don't really think she fits with any sort of commitment to neutrality and balance (things she'd likely criticize tbh)#and she. is very Opinionated and definitely sees things are good or evil most of the time#but i do think it's accurate in the sense of caring for those she considers her people#being malicious toward those who harm them#being pretty indifferent toward everyone else#and that while it doesn't apply to good and evil and the idea they have to coexist#the whole life/death dark/light sort of balance i think makes sense#esp with how ionia deals with those things...#i'm rambling i'll stop now sorry kanfkanf
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hmmm just imagine Jason Todd with a girlfriend pretty and kind like an angel and everyone is just shocked because 'how they're a couple??"
Think I went a little of ask for this one 😂 🦦
Jason calls you his angel for a reason.
You’re sweet, you’re kind, you’re downright beautiful/gorgeous and withheld an equally sweet, kind soul that bleeds through everything that you did or said. When you met Jason he was on the cusp of unconsciousness, finding him just slumped at your front door, severely injured. Anyone else who knew better would’ve left him but no, not you. You brought him -THE RedHood- into your house and home out of the kindness of your heart and patched him up as best as you could.
Heaven sent is another name of endearment that Jason called you and it held true on a plethora of occasions where he would find himself being dragged back at your doorstep, and it wasn’t long after that did Jason finally allow himself to pursue a chance at happiness by your side, and he’d be damned if it wasn’t the best decision he’s ever made in his entire life because being with you had been nothing short of a dream for Jason. A dream he never thought he’d get to live with the fucked up ordeal of having came back from the dead.
However when his family manages to catch wind of this because nothing stays secret for long, not by a long shot, their first thought was; how?
This wasn’t a slight towards Jason or his character but they couldn’t help but feel as though they’ve blinked and missed something extremely pivotal for this to have become the end result. They weren’t the only one to share this sentiment though as even Jason would be taken aback by your differences and often wondered if you were too different for your relationship to work.
It does however and it was one of the only times where Jason was grateful for being wrong for getting inside his own head, and just before he possibly ruins the best thing that has ever happened to him in a long, long while by self sabotage too. God only knows how much Jason would’ve hated himself for doing such a heinous thing to someone as underserving of such treatment as you.
So when Dick asks him one day ‘how did you manage to get someone like them?’ Whilst gesturing to you as you talked with the likes of Duke, Stephanie and Cass and getting along. Jason couldn’t think of a clear answer that would be enough to satisfy his brother’s curiosity because how was he meant to answer that question without it sounding generic and unoriginal.
‘Did you use any offhanded tactics to get them to be in a relationship with you?’ Damian asks and Dick gives him a look, only for the younger of the two of them to shrug his shoulders. ‘It was only a simple question Grayson.’
‘Yeah, just not one you ask when your brother comes home for the first time in months, and in a relationship nonetheless with the epitome of sweetness.’ Dick replied before looking over to Jason who was looking over at you with soft yet protective look on his face, but before Dick could say anything about how nothing was going to happen to you whilst in the Wayne Manor, Jason had already found the answer he has been looking for the entire evening.
‘They saved me.’ In the moment he said those words you looked over at him, Dick and Damian and smiled brightly that it never failed to knock the air out of Jason’s lungs upon seeing it. His angel, his heaven sent, the face he is blessed to see first and last thing in the mornings and late nights where he gently scolds you for staying up for him before kisses you in gratitude for doing so anyway.
Dick seemed content with this answer and meanwhile Damian looked visibly indifferent, he made a noise that said that he was also satisfied with this answer, just in time too as you came over to Jason and subtly held his pinkie with your own as you kissed his cheek. ‘You didn’t to tell me how cool your siblings were Jay!’ You began when Dick decided to join in on it too as he looked as Jason, betrayed. ‘You didn’t? Why not? Is it because you want your lovely partner to always be biased towards you?’ He pouts.
You chuckled and patted Jason on the bicep as you addressed Dick. ‘I’m always going to be bias towards my Jason.’ You admitted, causing a wave of warmth to flood Jason’s entire body upon hearing your confident confession. ‘For he is simply the best man I have ever met and that will never change.’
‘Never?’ Dick asked.
‘Never.’ You answered.
‘Even if he may be in the wrong sometimes?’ Damian asked this time and you shrugged, still smiling. ‘Not all of us are perfect beings and that’s a reality I’d accept rather than one where we’re all without flaw, physical or otherwise.’ Jason felt as though he might combust from your words alone but managed to compose himself enough to press a kiss to your temple to whisper against it. ‘Thank you baby.’
‘Anything for you Jaybirdie.’ You responded in kind, feeling him take hold of your hand, intertwining your fingers together as you rested your head against his bicep as you both continued to talk with Damian and Dick.
Yours and Jason’s relationship may not be what many expected it to be or make logical but why should it when you and Jason were more than happy together?
#jason todd x you#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagines#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fic#dc x y/n#dc x you#dc comics x reader#dc x reader#dc imagine#dc fic#dc fanfic#dc fanfiction
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pt 2 to this post, can be read as a standalone but makes more sense if you've read the first part. reader isn't wearing a suit but remains pretty androgynous (i think). also yes i included steph's baby fight me idc
not beta read pls don't make fun of me
Why had you agreed to this?
A coworker had invited you to a gala, something about representing the company. You weren't sure why you of all people were asked, or why the coworker, what's his name, was so insistint you attend with him. Especially after he ditched you the moment you both arrived.
You stand awkwardly, swirling the drink you had accepted earlier. A few straggling groups chatted nearby, gossiping about things you didn't care enough to pay attention to. You had better things to think about, like how were you getting home and when you could leave.
Even more important; how was the baby? Was she alright? The sitter you hired wasn't your usual one, but she had vanished without a trace and it was such short notice-
Something, someone, collided with yourself.
"I'm so sorry-" That's what you get for standing near the stairs!
You look up quickly, meeting the gaze of one of the boys you had met the other day. His lips twitch downwards, his eyes focused on the spot where your drink had collided with your clothing. Before you can react, he sets his suit jacket over your shoulders.
"I'm so sorry", he states quickly, opening his mouth to add something else before being cut off by you.
"It's alright, Jason."
His looks shocked for a moment, before his lips turn up into a grin.
"You remembered my name!" He speaks in a town that seems uncharacteristic for him. Pure delight coats his face and he opens his mouth again just to be cut off.
"Jay-Jay! Look what you did!" Another familiar face approaches, a grin adorning the young man's features. He slaps Jason on the back, then turns to you.
"Sorry about my brother." Your brows furrow at this.
"Brothers..?"
"Not by choice", Jason adds quickly, "Atleast, not our choice."
The urge to ask is immediately wiped away as another familiar face approaches, tailed by someone you hadn't met and who's attention was trained on their phone.
The shorter of the two, the one who you had encountered before, spoke up in a clear tone that didn't quite suit his age.
"Father says to quit harassing the guests, Richard, and he'd like to speak with you, Jason."
Jason rolled his eyes. The boy on his phone timidly glanced up, flashing a quick smile.
"Hello", he spoke, then looked back toward his phone.
The shortest of them stared at you, his expression indifferent.
"My name is Damian Wayne. I'd like to thank you for the other day." You smile softly at him, then the realization dons on you.
'Damian Wayne, as in Bruce Wayne's son...?' Your thoughts are yet again interrupted by a voice.
"Boys!"
His voice is clearer in real life, but unmistakably him. You turn, watching one Bruce Wayne approach your small group. His smile seems to light up the room.
He's more handsome in real life, slight crow's feets crinkling near his eyes when he laughs and a shock of gray through his hair.
His arm is looped with a young blonde woman, a baby only a bit older than your own settled in the crook of her other arm. They both smile, stopping in front of you and the boys. Jason's hand suddenly disappears from your shoulder and everyone seems to take a step back.
You smile politely, extending your hand to him.
He takes it, unlooping his arm with the gorgeous woman and bending to press a kiss to it. He feels a pang of anger when he feels the callouses and scars on your hands. Standing straight once again, he grins.
"It's a pleasure, Mx...", your eyes widen when he speaks your last name. How did...?
His eyes trail over your form, then scan the faces of the boys surrounding you. He shakes his head.
"I apologize for their lack of manners. Please, boys, introduce yourselves."
The blonde woman steps forward, smiling at you.
"I'm Stephanie", she adjusts the infant in her arms, taking your hand and giving it a tender squeeze.
You notice Jason taking up a spot directly behind you, standing over you, or atleast attempting to.
"We've been introduced", he speaks gruffly, more to his father than to you. This atmosphere suddenly becomes thick with tension, it makes you shift in unease.
Dick puts himself between Stephanie and Bruce, smiling sheepishly.
"It's Richard Grayson, everyone calls me Dick."
The boy that was previously on his phone snickers, Bruce shoots him a pointed look.
"It's Tim", the boy mutters, immediately piping back down.
Damian takes up the other other side of Bruce and you note thier similar features.
"Well, it's been wonderful meeting you all, but I should be leaving", You smile awkwardly, pulling Jason's jacket tighter around your shoulders.
"Let me treat you to dinner", Bruce speaks almost desperately, then clears his throat, "to make up for my sons' rudeness."
Suddenly you're sat in a limo, stuck between Jason and Bruce.
#protective jason todd#jason todd x batmom#jason todd x reader#stephanie brown x reader#Stephanie Brown x batmom#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne x batmom#dick grayson x batmom#dick grayson x reader#damian wayne x batmom#damian wayne x reader#tim drake x batmom#tim drake x reader#duke is the babysitter btw#you can't tell but he is#grandpa Bruce Wayne#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfam#batfam x batmom#batfam x reader
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Aquarius Through The Houses
Aquarius in our charts signifies where we stand out from others in society. It is where we are ahead of our time for being different than the popular majority. Aquarius is the inventor and pushes us to make things anew. By doing this we propel ourselves forward to the future, but this often leads us to feel outcasted by society. We may feel like an alien in the area of our lives the sign influences. It is because this is where we are called to be unique and shine for being different. Authenticity should be our top priority wherever Aquarius is placed. Conforming to everyone else in this area of our lives will only lead to self-destruction. Embracing what makes you different will lead to a since of liberation and freedom. In turn you will get to shine in your full capacity.
Aquarius 1st House: These people are the embodiments of indifference in the world. Your whole being is built upon standing out from the crowd. This might make you feel uncomfortable though, by how much you stand out from other people. When you were young, you may have had an identity crisis of not fitting in with groups of people your own age. You've often felt like an alien among your peers and may have dealt with a lot of people shunning you out as a kid. You feel validated when you surround yourself with other people, music, shows and things that are considered unconventional in society. Might have fears surrounding getting attention in the public eye. Something about your physical appearance is striking and makes it hard for you to go unnoticed. Your style and way of dressing is entirely different from the norm. Your goal is to learn to embrace your individuality and that not everyone needs to accept your uniqueness. The sooner you do this and try to stop fitting in, the easier you can shine and meet the ones who will support you. Understand that you are a futuristic individual and that it’s okay for people not to process who you are right way. Someday they will get it and see how ahead of your time you've been. Don’t be ashamed for being different!
Aquarius 2nd house: These individuals hold unconventional values that separates them from other people. You have a unique way of accumulating wealth and assets in your life. Innovative and forward thinking, towards how you gain stability. Your financial plans may be frowned upon by other people. You strive to find new ways when it comes to achieving your financial goals. While others might think you place high value on money, the freedom it gives is what you are really after. Not worrying about not having enough. In fact you are pretty detached when it comes to wealth and this unique approach is why you shine at gaining. It’s not about the money, but what can you do with it. You value your networks of people and they can help you a lot when it comes to gaining sustainability. Might invest into humanitarian causes to see the betterment of society. You truly do care about the collective knowledge. Intelligence is very important for you. Finding intellectual ways and concepts to help you achieve your goals is a priority. Your open to foreign concepts to see how other people view certain situations. Overall, you find liberation through your physical possessions and financial independence. What's most important to you is gaining freedom from the material world. Aquarius here urges you to figure out a unique outlook to what wealth means to you and focus on pursuing it in your life.
Aquarius 3rd house: The mind of Aquarius third housers are always one step ahead. Very future oriented people focusing on what is the next goal. They think of things quickly and find unique solutions to issues. As a young child, you could have felt very different in your school education. It's because your learning style and the way you pick up information is unique from those around you. This could've caused you feeling shunned out and doubt your intelligence because you couldn't operate the same way others received information. You have a unique communication style that can seem unconventional by other people. It can come off as somewhat detached which leaves some people to feel offended. Your siblings can see this detachment and you may have a distant relationship with them as well. The thing is you do care, but when you communicate your focus is on being as literal and factual as possible. You like talking about things that are out of the norm and thinking about the future. Your mind is always in the future and this leads you to having a lot o progressive ideas. It's because you desire to be a free thinker and be liberated through your mind. That is why you could’ve had a rebellious attitude towards school because it conformed your thoughts to be like everyone else. Aquarius is teaching you here that your forward thinking and unique curiosity should be cherished to separate you from the point of view of other people. Don’t just believe anything just because that is the popular way of thinking. Find unique ways to see things from different perspectives. You learn differently from your peers and need to find a way to gain knowledge that personally works for you. Freedom of speech is important for you and you are called to raise your voice for humanitarian causes.
Aquarius 4th house: Family dynamics for these people is a little chaotic. Random changes could've been occurring around your home as a child. You may feel like an outsider within your own home. Something about your background separates you from others in your family. It could be you have a different nationality or ethnicity than the family majority. Your family could be foreigners within the land you live in. The detachment from your family members can make you clash and have different ideals than them. You may not show much emotion around them. An original thinker between your family, you see things differently and futuristically than them. You can be considered the rebel within your family and you are not afraid to speak out against them. Mainly because your able to see the generational issues and traditional values your family holds that don't align with you. What they push on you to do is just not who you are. Might be the black sheep in your relationship with your family and feel shunned by them. Aquarius here wants you to help your family progress and let go of ways that no longer serve them. Focusing on the liberation of the family line. A desire for social changes and humanitarian causes to be valued in your home. Your social networks and friends can be considered your family. You have a unique way of viewing what family means to you. The online world can be a place of comfort for you, offering a space for you to gain a sense of freedom.
Aquarius 5th house: Creativity is unique to you. You’re able to see new patterns and different ways to make creations. You stand out for your talents. The interest of these individuals can be shocking for other people to see. Through your art and creative expression, a sense of freedom is gained. You may value intellectual pursuits and gaining knowledge about topics you are interested in. Spelling is Fun. These people can find a lot of joy by learning new things. You are always trying to find unique avenues to gain a sense of happiness. Your friends can be a good source of fun for you and bring you a lot of excitement. This makes you stand out when you are in a crowd of people. Attraction towards romantic partners that are intellectually stimulating. Your children may be rebellious themselves to the systems that is placed around them. This is a result of your progressive approach towards parenting and finding out unique ways to raise your kids. It can also be because you can have a detached parenting approach with them. Aquarius pushes you to be experimental towards what brings you pleasure in your life. A push towards finding joy in spontaneity and that different is not scary. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to stand out from what everyone else is doing.
Aquarius 6th house: You have a unique way in how you move through your day to day that separates you from other people. Time is of the essence and you want to find a different approach to spend it wisely. Your schedule may be somewhat chaotic with you always having something new to do. The people who view you in your day today might not like your approach to your daily routine. However, that is what fits you personally and helps you keep composure through the storms in your daily life. You may be dealing with a lot of disorganization within your daily environment. Since this is the house of bad fortune, misfortunate events can occur out of nowhere. This can greatly disrupt your routine and send you into a state of panic. Aquarius is teaching you here that no matter how hard you try, not everything in your life will be order. You overcompensate in your life by trying to keep things in check, but something will happen and things will fall apart. It's about adaptability and being detached from the hurdles that come your way. In doing so you find unique ways to navigate your life. You can also have an unconventional approach towards health and wellness. Might be into home remedies and alternative medicine. Keeping your body healthy in a personal method that works for you, helps separate you from other people.
#aquarius placements#astro community#astrology#aquarius#Aquarius houses#aquarius playlist#Uranus#Saturn
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Is Kris okay? Because they seem out of character
They really aren't. Throughout the first two chapters, there are moments that hint towards Kris actually being a pretty anxious person. The aftermath of the Spamton NEO fight comes to mind, or how panicked they sound when they try to tell officer Undyne about Dark Worlds, or how their first reaction to when the school closet to the Dark World opens is to back away. Kris is not indifferent to everything around them. That tendency to shut down is possibly just a defense mechanism. Think about it. Their parents went through a (presumably) messy divorce, their brother (who they were closest to out of anyone) went far away to college, and they are being controlled by us against their own will. And right now in this comic itself they are definitely NOT having a good time either. By all means, they are chaotic and a prankster, but if given the opportunity by the player, Kris shows those rare moments of their true nature. Thing is, we as the player and most characters in the game itself don't get to experience this side of them very often. Since Twin Runes got rid of the player altogether, we and everyone else get to see their whole palette of emotions on full blast.
Like anon said, they are fearing for their LIFE (and that of their dad specifically, since they think their mother is this Dark World's Knight). There are no saftey nets. No saves. No resets. One wrong step and that's it.
Also, keep in mind that while TR!Kris definitely shares elements with canon Kris, they are not exactly the same character. They are a lot more exaggerated than canon Kris. That is true for most characters in this story. I try to stick to canon as much as possible, but there are deviations here and there (the puppet limbs come to mind, for example). This is still an AU after all.
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Hi. I read your work on Ao3 and I saw that you said we could come here and leave a request. Can you write something with Crosshair x fem reader with the prompt "What kind of spell did you put on me?" And if I can help you with the plot, maybe the reader could be a shy doctor who agreed to work with the boys when everyone else rejected it. There aren't many stories out there with Crosshair and a shy reader. You choose whether there will be smut or not. xoxo 🌺
Thank you so much, anon. Writing a shy reader was fun. I hope I did it justice! Kept this one SFW.
Cracks in the Wall
Not much could ruffle Crosshair's feathers or get past the wall he'd built around himself over the years - until he met you.
Pairing: Crosshair x f!reader
Word count: 2.8k
Warnings: sibling banter/teasing, shy!reader, doctor!reader, Cross doesn’t know what to do with feelings but he’s trying okay, sprinkle of self-doubt from both Cross and reader, alludes to medical trauma, fluff, softness, cheeky lil’ kiss, pet names.
“Off somewhere?” Hunter’s voice cuts through their shared barracks, stopping Crosshair as he heads for the door. He’s careful to keep his voice even, suppressing the smile that’s trying to appear.
Crosshair grits his teeth, freezing at his older brother’s question. He’d hoped to get away with minimal fuss, but the Maker didn’t look to be on his side today. “Fresh air.” He answers cooly with a slight shrug, sliding effortlessly behind a mask of indifference.
“Right…” Hunter drags out the word, raising an eyebrow as he glances out the panoramic window. “In the storm?” He clarifies, knowing eyes turning back to his baby brother.
“Nah, he’s slinking off to see that pretty doctor again, ain’t ya?” Wrecker steamrollers, not one to miss the opportunity to tease Crosshair. He sits on the edge of his bunk, leaning forward like an excited child about to be told a deep secret.
Crosshair doesn’t dignify the question with an answer, though nerves have him sliding the toothpick between his lips to the other side of his mouth.
Tech knows he shouldn’t torment his twin, but when it’s been so beautifully laid out for him, he would be remiss not to. “Feeling unwell again?” He asks, tone neutral though the mirth in his eyes is unmissable.
The frustrated grunt Crosshair lets out makes his brothers chuckle, and he stalks from the room, the sound of their combined laughter only dying out once the door slides shut behind him.
Making his way down the corridor towards the medbay, the sterile white halls of Kamino make him squint, the light unnecessarily bright. He hates the constant noise and busyness here, the Regs sneering at him as he passes. He hates how sterile everything is and all the memories of being tested and tormented as a cadet.
But that hatred evaporates as he rounds the corner and spots your name on the board for ‘on duty’ doctors. At least there was one good thing about coming back.
Crosshair’s pace slows as he reaches the doors to the medbay, pesky nerves settling into his gut. He takes a moment to compose himself, adjusting his armour and smoothing a hand over his hair. He might be an expert marksman on the battlefield, but the prospect of a simple conversation with you has him feeling oddly out of his element.
You were the only doctor who’d tend to him and his brothers when they were injured, the only one willing to adapt how you worked to suit their differences. The memories of your considerate actions flood his mind – dimming the lights so he doesn’t have to squint, providing candy to uplift Wrecker’s spirits, explaining procedures to Tech, and creating a more comfortable space for Hunter’s senses. It wasn’t just out of professional duty; there was a personal touch, a kindness rarely extended to him and his brothers.
Somewhere along the way, Crosshair had found himself replaying your interactions like a cherished film, analysing every word and every gesture, searching for any signs that you enjoyed his company as much as he did yours. You never pushed or asked too much of him, never complained when he denied a test, and you didn’t draw attention to the way his body betrayed him by trembling ever so slightly whenever you approached with a needle for blood tests or booster shots.
With a deep breath, he pushes open the medbay doors. The familiar hum of medical equipment and the crisp scent of bacta greet him as he steps inside. Memories try to resurface, but he battles them down, even as his heart races.
The medbay is relatively quiet, with a few Regs resting in recovery beds and a medical droid diligently tending to its duties. And there, at the back of the room, head bent over a datapad, he spots you. He hesitates for a moment, watching you work. He shouldn’t be disturbing you; he knows you’re always busy, but since Tech had informed him that they were heading back to Kamino, he hasn’t been able to shake the urge to see you, speak to you, and exist in the same space as you.
As he approaches, his boots make a minimal sound on the pristine floor, and he clears his throat, his usually confident demeanour faltering in the presence of the one person who manages to unravel his composure. “Hey.” His voice breaks the silence, though it doesn’t draw the attention of the Regs or droids.
Caught off guard, you startle a little, glancing up. Your eyes widen slightly as you take in the man standing before you. Elation floods your body as you gaze into the sharp brown eyes you’d come to adore, and relief follows quickly at the realisation that he’s in one piece and has survived whatever mission he’d been sent on recently. For the longest time, you’d tried to convince yourself that your care for the quiet sniper was solely professional, but you were fooling no one. “Cross… you’re back.” You greet him, a shy smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
He’d never admit it, but warmth spreads through his chest at the nickname. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” He mutters, sliding his toothpick back to the other side of his mouth.
Your eyes track the movement of the toothpick before flicking up to meet his gaze, offering him a warm smile. “No problem. Just caught up in the datapad, you know how it is.”
He nods, though internally, he’s relieved by your easy response. The following silence is awkward, and your gaze dips away momentarily, but you take the initiative and set aside the datapad. “What brings you to the medbay today? Not feeling under the weather, I hope?” You inquire, concern evident in your expression.
Guilt churns in Crosshair’s gut, but he refuses to let it show. He can’t help himself. “Feeling off.” He states, the lie rolling from his tongue with ease.
With a slight frown of concern, you gesture towards the private consultation room, a familiar song and dance now. Crosshair enters the room first, depositing his toothpick in the trash can near the door before he slides himself up to sit on the exam bed while you enter. The door clicks shut, and you fall into a standard med check routine.
Crosshair answers your questions with his usual brevity, providing enough information to satisfy your professional curiosity and cover up that he’s lying to be here with you. As you work, the tension in the room eases.
As you move to the physical examination, you watch as Crosshair pries his left hand plate and gauntlet off, enabling you to slide your fingers under the cuff of his blacks, pointer and middle fingers pressed to his wrist, counting the beats of his heart.
Despite his best efforts to remain indifferent, he can’t help but feel warm at your touch, heart rate elevating.
Under your fingers, you feel his pulse quicken. It’s throwing off your count, and you know that once again, you won’t get an accurate figure, but you don’t draw attention to it, blissfully believing it was his anxiety at being in the medbay. Selfishly, you enjoy this part the most. Crosshair is warm to the touch, skin surprisingly soft, and you can stand a little closer than usual, enabling you to breathe in a scent you’ve come to associate with him – regulation body wash, blaster cleaner, and a sour sweetness you’re sure is from candy. You’ve seen how he eyes up the sour gummies you hand to Wrecker whenever you’ve finished patching up or looking over the gentle giant.
After a minute, you draw your hand back, offering a slight nod, which sees him sliding his armour back into place. Lifting your pointer finger, you wait for his gaze to snap towards it, and then you watch as he tracks it side to side, up and down, near and far. You’d recommended the addition of this check when you’d learned about his enhancements – never a defect, in your opinion – and how heavily he relied on his vision.
He tracks your finger with ease, eyes moving smoothly and quickly. “Everything seems to be in order.” You state quietly, reaching for a nearby datapad to update his medical file.
Crosshair can’t help but admire you as you tap away at the screen. He sees a great deal from afar, but being closer opens a new world. “How’ve you been?” He asks, finding himself genuinely curious. He hates small talk with a burning passion, but he’ll always make an exception for you.
“Good! It’s been busy. We had some of the boys from 184th come in, and their injuries were unlike anything I’ve seen before.” You paused in your tapping, glancing up at Crosshair, gauging whether to continue. His gaze was focused on you, and the fact he was still listening gave you the courage to continue. “I mean, I’ve dealt with blaster wounds, shrapnel, even the occasional strange accident, but this...this was something else.” You shared, focusing back on the screen before continuing the story.
“They had this inexplicable rash all over their bodies. I’ve never seen anything spread so fast. And the worst part? No one could figure out where it came from. We ran every test imaginable, yet their blood work was normal; there were no signs of infection, but this rash kept spreading.” You rambled, excited at getting to share this with him. It had been a highlight of the last few weeks – a break from the usual. “We started brainstorming, throwing around ideas, and then it hit me. We needed to check their gear, their uniform, everything. And you won’t believe what we found.” You paused again, looking up at Crosshair with wide eyes.
Did Crosshair give a damn about some Regs with a rash? No, not really. But he cared about you, and the excitement on your beautiful face, as you shared this story, meant he’d gladly listen to the tale a hundred times. “What did you find?” He asked, watching as you broke out into a smile. Sometimes, his heart ached at how easy it was to make you happy – that all it took was someone willing to listen to you.
“Coma-bloom flowers. They’d made camp beside a huge patch of coma-bloom and, while sleeping on the ground, had rolled into some of its pollen. It could’ve killed them if they’d accidentally ingested it, so thank the Maker, all they did was get it on their skin. But still…took a lot of meds, and a lot of showers, to get it out of their systems.” You explained. It had been a fascinating case, expanding your medical knowledge and driving you into exploring other fauna and flora that could be toxic to the men who swung by the medbay.
The realisation sank in quickly that you’d rambled for a while, excited over a case of troopers with a rash. Maker above, he’d think you were crazy. Head dipping a little, you tapped at the datapad screen nervously.
Your sudden shift in mood wasn’t lost on him. He’d seen his brother act the same way after info-dumping. “Smart girl.” Crosshair murmurs, a deep feeling of pride settling in his chest. The shyness that overcame you at his compliment made his gut twist. You were too sweet.
Warmth blooms in your chest at the compliment, and you busy yourself by sifting through his medical file, so you don’t dwell on the feelings bubbling inside you. “You didn’t collect the prescriptions from your previous visits...” You mumble with a frown, double-checking that you were reading his notes correctly. “Did the symptoms go away on their own?” You ask, glancing up at him.
Crosshair freezes, mind racing as he tries to devise an excuse. Any excuse would do.
They were shipped out before he could collect them? No. Once, perhaps, but more than that, and it would be obvious he was lying.
He could go down the route of feeling better before collecting them. But no, that would only make it seem like he’d been wasting your time.
With a sigh, Crosshair realises he only has one path. “They were never there to begin with.” He comes clean.
Brow’s furrowing, your head tilts ever so slightly, curious and concerned. “What? Then why did yo-“
“What kind of spell did you put on me?” Crosshair unintentionally interrupts, watching as your concern melts into surprise, your beautiful eyes blinking a few times. He reaches out, tracing a finger across your cheek before dragging his thumb across your lower lip. “You won’t leave my thoughts. Driving me crazy.” He whispers, loathing how vulnerable he feels but unable to stop himself now there are cracks in the wall he’d built up around himself.
“O-Oh…” You swallow, not sure what to do with such a confession, caught off guard by the intensity of the words and his gaze. The thud of your heart rings in your ears, and butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Urm, well, I’m so-”
Before you can finish the sentence, Crosshair presses his thumb more firmly to your lips. “Don’t you dare apologise, doll.”
Silence hangs in the air between you. Your thoughts are a whirlwind, processing the unexpected confession from Crosshair. His touch lingers on your lips, and you can feel the warmth of his skin against your face. The nickname catches you off guard, and a flutter of something unspoken stirs within you.
Crosshair, for all his stoicism, appears different in this moment. Vulnerability seeps through the cracks in his demeanour, and the intensity of his gaze makes your heart race. You can’t deny the attraction you’ve felt for him, the way your heart would skip a beat whenever he entered the medbay, but this...this is a revelation.
Finally, Crosshair withdraws his thumb from your lips, filling the room with a charged silence. It’s as if the atmosphere has shifted. “When are you next off duty?” He asks. He’d already shown his hand, and you hadn’t run away or demanded he leave – it was worth pushing his luck just a little more.
Confusion mars your brow. “Tomorrow.” You answer quietly.
“I know this great place on Kowak.” Crosshair pitches, anxiety clinging to his words despite his attempt to sound casual. He’s never been one for small talk or sweet gestures, but the prospect of spending time with you outside the confines of the medbay is something he finds strangely appealing.
Your eyes widen in surprise, the unexpected invitation catching you off guard. Kowak isn’t exactly a typical choice for a casual outing, but then again, Crosshair is anything but typical. “Kowak? Really?” You respond, a mix of curiosity and amusement colouring your tone.
He nods, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. “Yeah, there’s this little cantina with the best atmosphere. Quiet, secluded. I think you’ll like it.”
A genuine smile tugs at the corners of your lips. “I’ll take your word for it. Tomorrow, then?”
Crosshair nods again, a subtle tension releasing from his shoulders. “Tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at 0900 hours.” He shifts off the exam bed, booted feet meeting the floor. He holds your gaze for a second longer before breaking it and heading for the door.
A fleeting feeling of panic laces through you. You don’t want Crosshair to go, even though you’ll see him tomorrow morning. As he reaches to press the small button to open the exam room door, you call out his name, watching as he pauses. Feet carrying you across the small space, you don’t know where the courage comes from as you push up on your tiptoes, pressing a feather-light kiss to his cheek.
Crosshair freezes at the unexpected touch, his heart pounding in his chest. The sensation of your lips against his cheek sends a jolt through him, and for a moment, he’s unsure how to react. It’s a rare instance where he finds himself genuinely caught off guard.
He turns to face you, his sharp brown eyes meeting yours. The vulnerability in his expression is back, your small gesture cracking open another layer of the wall he tried to hide behind, and Crosshair finds himself at a loss for words.
You, on the other hand, feel a mix of bravery and uncertainty. You’ve taken a leap, and now you’re waiting for the reaction, unsure what it means for the dynamic between you both. His gaze lingers on you, and the air is thick with tension.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Crosshair breaks into a rare, genuine smile. It’s a subtle curve of his lips that transforms his usually serious countenance into something softer. “You surprise me, doc.” He says, his voice a low murmur. “But I’m not complainin’.”
With that, Crosshair steps back and opens the door, sliding a fresh toothpick between his lips. As he exits the room, he glances back at you, a lingering intensity in his gaze. The door slides shut behind him, leaving you in the quiet room, heart racing and mind reeling from the unexpected turn of events.
Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.
#the bad batch x reader#the bad batch x you#tbb x you#tbb x reader#the bad batch crosshair#crosshair x reader#tbb crosshair x you#tbb crosshair x reader#crosshair bad batch#bad batch crosshair#tbb crosshair#crosshair#crosshair x you#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#star wars clone wars#ct 9904
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Omae Part 2 Electric Boogaloo
Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of my post Omae: Complexity of Self-Expression and Intimacy in the Japanese “You.” In honor of it, I’m doing a follow-up post.
Why? Because I made two claims in that post:
“as far as I can tell, Izuku is the only person Katsuki has ever used the pronoun omae (おまえ) towards in-canon”
“Furthermore, he has only used omae towards Izuku on three occasions.”
I prefaced both with “as far as I can tell” because I had some doubts that Katsuki’s use of omae was exactly that exclusive, but I knew it was pretty damn exclusive, so I went ahead and wrote the meta anyway. And I still stand by my assessments of how he uses it and what those moments mean.
But I was wrong on both counts.
Katsuki has used omae towards people other than Izuku.
He has used omae towards Izuku on five occassions, as of chapter 409.
Of course, chapter 409 wasn’t released until months after I wrote my pronoun meta, but at the time of my post, I had in fact missed one pivotal omae directed at Izuku that occurs much earlier in the series.
I wanna talk about those two extra omae towards Izuku and who else he has used omae towards. Much like Katsuki, I am a perfectionist, so if I'm gonna revisit this topic, I'm gonna go all the way.
So, I went through 409 chapters and catalogued every single time Katsuki uses a second-person pronoun.
STRAP IN, BUCKOS.
An Exhaustive Analysis of Bakugou Katsuki’s Second-Person Pronoun Usage
These are all the “you” pronouns Katsuki has used in the manga. We’ll go over them one-by-one and talk about who he uses them for, when, and my thoughts on why.
First, a note about rudeness: In many languages, and certainly in Japanese, familiarity and rudeness go hand-in-hand. In dictionaries and on grammar websites, you’ll see advice about using a term only with “people above you” or “people equal to or below you.” In general, you are either talking up to someone (polite speech) or you are talking down to them (casual speech). Excluding outright derogatory language, talking down to someone is the same as treating them as your equal.
Talking up creates or maintains distance between parties. Casual speech, familiar terms, and directness are nuances that generally get introduced into relationships as they deepen. Basically, being close to someone gives you the “right to be rude” to them. To speak this way with a stranger or people who are your hierarchical “social superiors” is considered rude in part because you lack an established (or equal) relationship with them.
I mention this because I think some people are under the misapprehension that for Katsuki to show someone he cares, he would have to speak respectfully towards them—that is, talk up to them. That simply isn’t the case, and in fact such behavior might convey callous indifference instead, because switching from casual speech to formal speech with someone you have history with puts distance between you, pushing them away.
Instead, there are more nuanced ways to connect and affirm bonds. Katsuki using omae rather than temee, for example, is not him being more polite, he's just being less insulting. He is still talking down, and one could argue that by refusing to talk up to anyone, Katsuki treats everyone equally. I mean he is still a foul-mouthed little monster, but you know, at least he’s consistent about it.
Anyway, keep this “right to be rude” in mind.
As mentioned in my first post, temee is basically Katsuki’s default second-person pronoun. If he’s addressing someone directly and he isn’t using one of his mean nicknames, it is almost guaranteed to be this word. This graphic is the only one that is not exhaustive, featuring just the top three.
Temee is derogatory; it is often translated as “you bastard,” and even when it’s not, its presence encourages translators to slather a veneer of rudeness across the sentence as a whole. Unlike the other pronouns we’re going to talk about, there is basically no scenario where you could use temee and not come across like an asshole. You could use it with friends or family to joke around, but you’re still being an asshole, just a funny one.
And... can we just acknowledge the vast gulf between Izuku’s 62 and runner-up Todoroki’s 14? Obviously Izuku is the protagonist, so it makes sense that much of the dialogue we are shown from any character is about him or directed at him. But it’s also just really funny.
No single use of temee is particularly notable since it's so common, but it is obvious why these two are at the top of the list: Katsuki has a lot of scenes with them, and he considers them his rivals. As a result, they tend to throw him into a tizzy often.
Anta is a contraction of anata. If avoiding a “you” pronoun entirely is the most polite way to refer to someone, anata is arguably the next most polite way. It is considered polite towards someone of “equal or lower status,” but can seem distant—you hear it in commercials when the narrator has to address the audience, “you, the customer.”
Anta strips away that distance and expresses either familiarity or contempt, depending on how you want to read it, which makes it pretty fucking funny that Katsuki uses it for his mentor figures. It is worth noting that anta is significantly less offensive than his typical temee and arguably even omae. A normal person would never use anta towards their boss or teacher—or their lifelong idol, for that matter—because it is talking down, which puts them on your level. But Katsuki’s whole persona is built around rebellious superiority, so out of all the options, he affords All Might and Best Jeanist the least offensive pronoun he can stomach using. Essentially, “I’m not gonna be fuckin’ polite but god, fine, I’ll be LESS rude, I guess” while still maintaining plausible deniability.
I also wanna note that there are instances where Katsuki technically uses temee towards All Might and anta towards Izuku, because he uses them in the plural form to refer to both of them at once. It’s actually pretty interesting to see who is framed as the “primary subject” of his scolding based on which pronoun he uses.
Chapter 257
All Might is the one droning on and on, so Katsuki’s response pluralizes his All Might pronoun anta into antara, lumping Izuku in with him. Basically: “stop wasting my time and get to the point (and that goes for you, too, Deku).”
Here we’ve got him pluralizing temee and, between All Might and Izuku, it’s definitely more the Izuku pronoun. So this reads a little like “dammit Deku you kept this secret so badly I found out and then you swore me to secrecy but you’re STILL UTTER SHIT AT HIDING IT so you are MAKING MY LIFE EVEN HARDER (and you, All Might, don’t you fucking know better??)”
Aaaand now we’re at the good shit. Okay, let’s break it down.
Ochako
Chapter 36
Katsuki addresses Ochako with omae at the very start of their Sports Festival battle, and this is in fact the first time he addresses her personally with a second-person pronoun. It’s a great writing choice: unlike every other fight we’ve seen Katsuki in so far, he isn’t busting out his typical boisterous insults. Rather, what he says reads as a measured assessment of her as a threat, and omae contributes to this. Had he used temee, he might still have come across this way on the whole, but the use of omae as the first word out of his mouth—when the audience knows he uses temee—sets this moment apart even more.
The text of Uraraka vs. Bakugou isn't ambiguous: Katsuki takes Ochako seriously, immediately, when no one else does. This is of course a rejection of sexist assumptions about girls, but it is also because Katsuki is smart. Kaminari’s battle is the foil to this fight. Where Bakugou succeeds, Kaminari failed, having been too sexist, cocky, and just plain dumb to properly assess his opponent and the danger they pose to him.
I said in my first post that Katsuki’s omae towards Izuku immediately after Deku vs. Kacchan 2 reads as him addressing Izuku as an equal, and I would say the same is true here.
After Ochako tries to execute her plan and Katsuki accuses her of colluding with Izuku, he uses temee towards her. It’s his standard choice, of course, but the change feels a little loaded in hindsight. She might have been afforded a different pronoun once, but she quickly gets lumped into the temee pile at least partly due to Proximity To Deku.
Katsuki talks the most shit when he’s on the ropes—a strategic, cocky camouflage for his vulnerability. We know from his thoughts watching Todoroki vs. Midoriya that at this moment, he was pretty worried he was at his limit. But Katsuki also likes a good challenge, and he respects people who can give it to him, so in gearing up for the climax of this fight, he calls her by her surname.
The progression: omae + mean nickname → temee → surname.
In later scenes, he addresses her with his typical temee, which just goes to show you that Katsuki really picks and chooses his moments.
Or, as All Might put it:
Speaking of picking and choosing his moments, this next one was a delight to discover.
Jirou
Chapter 182
As with Ochako, this is the first time Katsuki uses a "you" towards Jirou personally. To be precise, what he uses is a sound-shifted variant of omae pronounced omee (written variously as おめえ, おめー, and おめぇ). We’ll talk about whether that means anything later.
This occurs during the school festival when Jirou belts her heart out suddenly. Katsuki thinks back to how the band had criticized his improvisation and her specifically telling him not to do it during the show. So he says out loud, to himself, “omee ga surun kai,” for which I think the funniest translation would be, “OH BUT YOU CAN DO IT, HUH??”
The official English translation is “hypocrite!” which isn’t bad, but yeah, he is being such a grumpy little sarcastic baby about it, it’s very funny. Just muttering complaints under his breath, with no actual ill-will attached. The fact that he uses omee reinforces the sense that this is not a serious complaint; it’s good-natured ribbing and contributes to the reader’s awareness that Katsuki likes and respects Jirou.
While Kaminari and Sero mischievously try to trick him into participating in the festival, Jirou earnestly asks for his help while acknowledging his skill.
Chapter 171
On top of outright asking "onegai" (please, but literally: "a request"), the verb construction she uses (やってくれたら, yatte kuretara) frames his participation as a favor; kureru is basically “to do for the benefit of someone else [often to your disadvantage or inconvenience].” And then she personally works her ass off to make their performance the very best it can be.
Later during the Joint Training Battle, Katsuki relies on her, uses a nickname for her (to her annoyance), and saves her. Kirishima and Kaminari both astutely comment that the festival band reinforced Katsuki’s trust in his classmates and his willingness to work with them towards success.
In this moment during the festival, Katsuki is letting Jirou shine, because each of them doing what they do best is what makes the performance a triumph in the first place.
But the boy’s still gonna be a bossy little tsundere about it.
4th Grade Bullies
Chapter 62
In Izuku’s flashback, little Katsuki uses omaera (plural form) towards the 4th graders who pick a fight with him.
You might be thinking, “Hang on, haven’t all the omae uses so far been for people Katsuki likes or at least respects? So why is he using it for these two?” And you’d be right, at least when it comes to present-day, teenage Katsuki using omae, because it’s no longer his default.
Flashbacks to Katsuki and Izuku’s childhood tell us that Katsuki’s default peer address as a kid was most likely omae, and that he switched to temee as he got older and became more of an obnoxious little shit. I emphasized in my first post that omae seems softer coming from Katsuki because it’s a departure from his normal way of speaking. The flashbacks show us a time when he was... kinda just a regular kid using language common among boys his age.
Still, there is a “cool tough guy” air to this moment, because omae can also come across as contemptuous—which is how Izuku uses it towards villains in present-day. Izuku uses boku for himself and kimi for peers, the combination of which tend to be seen as kind of soft and boyish, rather than macho and cool. Little Katsuki uses the boastful pronoun ore for himself and omae towards the bullies, who are both older and therefore technically "above" him.
So Izuku marvels at Kacchan, who talks big and tough like a grownup. Kacchan who can do anything, who stands his ground, fights to win, and invokes the heroic ideals of All Might.
Izuku
Chapter 9
The first time we see Katsuki call Izuku by his name is when we learn the origins of the nickname Deku. It also happens to be the first time we see Katsuki address someone with something other than temee. This scene shows us a glimpse of what their relationship looked like before it totally fell apart: before Katsuki nicknamed him Deku, he called him Izuku. And before Katsuki started hurling insults and screaming “you bastard” (temee!) at Izuku all the time, he used a different “you” word for him, too. Little Katsuki addressed him as a little boy would address a peer or a friend.
It made me wonder… is the aftermath of Deku vs Kacchan 2 the first time Katsuki has addressed him as an equal since they were little kids?
And, furthermore, little Katsuki uses the sound shifted variant, omee.
You might be surprised to learn that temee itself is a sound shifted variant of temae (手前, てまえ). Temae literally means “before the hand” and historically, it was a humble first-person pronoun, meaning “me, who stands before you.” Omae (お前) literally means “the one before [me],” it was historically very polite and only used for extremely high-class people. Somewhere along the way, temae became a second-person pronoun like omae, and both started to be perceived as quite rude.
Tough guy Japanese speech patterns are epitomized by sound shifts and bitten off words. Supposedly, this dialect originates in Tokyo’s historic Shitamachi area, which is characterized as rough and working class in sharp contrast to the wealthy, high class Yamanote area.
So, does omee mean something different than omae? Maybe, but not always. Does it mean something different when someone says “Thank ya” rather than “Thank you”? Or when someone says “y’all” rather than “you all”? Not exactly, but… does it feel different? It can.
Little Katsuki’s sound shift links this moment to our last example:
Chapter 409
As you acquire language, you develop a personal relationship with it informed by your experiences. More than just dictionary definitions, you gain cultural and emotional associations, and that impacts how you interpret media and other people. I don’t think anyone can say that omee definitively conveys something different than omae, but I do know that when I personally read Katsuki use it in 409, the shift feels like casual fondness. Like letting down your guard. A reassurance spoken softly. It somehow feels just a bit softer than if he had enunciated omae.
Years ago, Katsuki used it to tease Izuku about how he can’t do anything. And four hundred chapters later, he uses it to say “I won’t get in your way anymore.”
You should read pikahlua's really, really good meta about what this line means.
Whether it was intentional on Horikoshi’s part or not, I think it is a meaningful callback. These are the only two times Katsuki has ever used omee towards Izuku. It emphasizes how he has changed, yes, but it also ties in the context of his own past "uselessness" and how he has surpassed it, that he won't ever again be "a weakness others can exploit" to get to Izuku. But also, as pika says:
(And I read that he’s ready to let Izuku be the main character.)
The only other time Katsuki has used omee is towards Jirou, when he affectionately teased her for being a hypocrite while also making sure she got her time in the limelight.
And what does Katsuki think in the next chapter?
“Izuku, do your best.”
Izuku gets his time in the limelight. They each brought their own strengths to this final battle, and Katsuki has held up his end. He wasn’t a burden, he didn’t hold Izuku back—he came back from the dead, saved their hero, and took out All For One. Now Izuku has to do what he does best.
A lot of the things I said in this post simply reiterate the meaning of the text itself, and that's because the nuances in Katsuki’s dialogue support the narrative. They reinforce what the story tells us about him and his relationships, and I think that's pretty amazing.
#bkdk#translations#meta#mha 9#mha 36#mha 62#mha 171#mha 182#mha 202#mha 257#mha 409#mha manga spoilers
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📞 ; “you’ll see me later near the flagpole, i’ll stand there and wave at you, wave back?”
𖹭 : player!seunghan x afab!reader
💭 you had no idea why seunghan seemed to be so indifferent towards you, especially when he had fooled around with half the girls in your circle.
⤷ contains: angst (it's quite bad i think), fluffy fluff, humor, cussing, indications of s/h, mentions and indications of self-exiting, mentions of smoking, drinking, suggestive scenarios, themes of insecurity, mention of other idol names for world building
⤷ wc: 9.8k !!
not proofread :>
Insecurity is something none of us are safe from. One might find themselves one gloomy evening after a long day, staring into the horrid pit they call ‘me’.
It’s just so hard to love yourself when there’s no one to love you.
You’re not the prettiest, nor the smartest. You have a fair share of hobbies, but you’ve always thought you’re just mediocre in all of them. You’ve always thought it’s an internal error, nearly unfixable because you’ve been trying so hard your whole life but still weren’t able to reach a certain point of excellence. Perhaps it was the lack of encouragement, the lack of presence, your parents are the most insouciant they could be, and it hurts even more for being an only-child.
You’d think having friends would help, but over time it would feel as if they were all keeping you around just for your accompaniment, like a pet —not even one they’d dote on, just one they’d have around so they wouldn’t make a fool of themselves blabbering on about whatever was going on in their lives. It’s been five years of their running mouths and pretty faces, and it’s getting harder and harder to care.
“Hong Seunghan? He's got the face for sure, but he’s a jerk.”
“Does it matter? You two were so fucking loud last night.”
“Geez Y/n, sorry —but yeah, it’s just a shame. You can’t really expect anything else from that guy than a quick fuck.”
The first mention of his name flew over your head like a feather, you thought he was probably just another one of those guys, not really worth the thought.
At some point in time however, his circle of friends would merge into yours. Some would build friendships with the occasional make outs and doing the dirty deed whenever they felt like it, and some would actually end up dating, but they would be toxic at best. This deranged circle is definitely not desirable, but for a bunch of horny teenagers, it’s not really much of a shock.
“Shit, Seunghan, why the hell would you just leave me like that?”
“I left you a towel —and you have hands, right? you were just using them with me—”
“Shut up!”
They were laughing after having done something so unholy with the presence of everyone just outside the room where they had dealt with their business. It was the norm now, having sex while everyone else was in the living room, shamelessly making the lewdest of sounds —it’s a house owned by one of your friends whose parents were seemingly as neglectful as yours, it just happens so that their son was a fucking narcissist.
“I can’t believe you wouldn’t want to fuck me.”
“You have a girlfriend, Intak.”
“Y/n, she’s not around, and if you think about it you’re doing her a favor, taking care of me while she’s away—”
“You’re disgusting. She already said no.” —you never expected for Seunghan to suddenly butt in because no one really ever cared enough to save anyone from a situation such as this one.
“Look who’s speaking, you’re just as much of a fuckface as I am.” you could only watch with furrowed brows as the two went on.
“Yeah? I don’t force myself into anyone, unlike you.” —really? for being the philanderer you are? —you’d think to yourself, keeping your eyes on Seunghan.
“Bud, she just said ‘you have a girlfriend’, I didn’t hear a ‘no’ or an ‘I don’t want you to make a total wreck of me’, did you?” you’d only roll your eyes, walking out of the room. “Hey, Y/n, wait up—”
“Just leave her alone dude. She doesn’t want you.”
You wish you could care less, but it would happen more often —some of your guy friends trying to get you to fuck, and him coincidentally being in the same room, reasoning with the other guy so you wouldn’t get trapped —if you already weren’t for being in their circle.
You thought he was sick, what was his reason for stopping you from taking a hit when he bounced back and forth from your friends and probably girls outside of your scope.
One night however, you’d make sure he wasn’t around, and finally, you’d give in.
Feeling particularly lustful, you were in luck. Woojin was around, just as pent up —if not more— no longer able to keep his hands to himself. The skinship drew you in deeper, and soon you’d be whispering in his ear, “Let’s go up stairs.” —him giving you a hastened nod before taking you by the arm and dragging you to an empty room at the second storey.
Everyone seemed to be surprised to see that it was you behind those risqué sounds. Still, you didn’t know how to act. Should you be embarrassed? proud? should you just be nonchalant about everything? you didn’t want things to get awkward for you and Woojin, and so you’d try your best to not show your flustered self to him.
“Is it really okay that I took your first time?”
“Y-yeah, don’t think much about it.”
You two were seated on the bleachers of the school gymnasium, the day after everything that went down. His chuckle, so sweet yet so subtle would only add to the heat on your face.
“I just always thought you were so reserved, you know? I thought you’d want your first time to be with someone special, as far as I know, that’s not me —I’m your friend, your my friend.” he was calm, and soft, justifying his thoughts.
“I thought so too.” you shrugged at him.
You looked out into the distance, to the basketball ring, and underneath it was Seunghan. The hell? —you’d say to yourself, seeing the boy beneath the ring shaking his head after making brief eye contact with you.
What was his problem? Was it about you sleeping with Woojin? he was already there when you came down the stairs with Woojin, both of you equally as blown out as the other. When you saw him, he didn’t even seem to care, he even had his arms around one of your other friends nearly shoving his face against hers. So what was his problem?
“Maybe he wanted to fuck you before anyone did.” —now you were second guessing yourself, maybe you shouldn’t have told your pretty little best friends about it.
“I don’t think so. He hadn’t even touched me—”
“Oh right! it’s kinda funny.” their laughter filled your ears, so horrid.
“My God Jean, I don’t know why’d you even bring that idea up, Seunghan wouldn’t even look at Y/n for more than two minutes, be for real.” they tittered to each other, at that point anyone else who saw you would’ve never thought you were part of the initial conversation in the first place.
As harshed it sounded —especially coming from them— it was nothing but the truth. Not like he owed you anything, but you felt as if there must be something wrong with you for him to not be giving you as much attention as he would any other female. Not even only that, he didn’t even talk to you as much as he did with everyone else. The others would talk to you, some like Woojin more regularly than others. It just seemed like Seunghan was just so indifferent towards you, even after all those times he’s rejected your friends’ advances for you.
It was enough for you to question your self-worth, your face, your body, your attitude. You’ve always been so compliant, other than those times you’ve rejected attempts of unruly hands getting into your pants, you had every right to do so anyway. These people you call your friends, they’re all so full of themselves, even them being vocal about their insecurities were all just pure complaints, like a broken car —they could get it ‘fixed’ as they pleased, with their parents’ consent or not they could do whatever they want, unlike you. As much as you wanted to get a higher nose bridge, fuller cheeks, a prettier eye shape, a more flattering body, you’re stuck with what you had. You didn’t have the money, the time, the energy, and most importantly, the motivation.
Facing the mirror made you sick in the stomach, hideous —for a lack of a better word, was all you could think of whenever you saw the lump of patheticness, you.
Everything started with Hong Seunghan, noticing how touchy he’d get with the other girls —and every other girl except you— how he smiled at them, and never at you. He didn’t ignore you entirely, but he wouldn’t be enthusiastic like he’d be with everybody, everybody except you of course. And soon enough, your doubts tripled from the backhanded assurances —if you could even call it that— feeling as if they resent you wouldn’t come as a question, not at all. They did a pretty good job of making you feel unwanted.
“Unwanted? come on, we’re just here to have fun, none of that dramatic depression shit —anxiety or whatever lame excuse you have.” —and you still had no idea how to mend your pain.
You stuck around, for as long as your dignity allowed you to. You would never be special like them. You were merely a filler, and you played your role well. For some time, Woojin was around, then he’s not. In a blink, he’d be your enemy too, just cause he got to fuck the more popular girls in your circle. How amusing. —suddenly he was like everyone else, never to swallow his pride.
Everything at once became too much, way too much. You got into vices you swore you’d never get yourself into, drinking and smoking your spirits away. Wherever you’re headed in life, at that time it was blurry, hazy, unforeseeable. With every other senses blocked, all you could feel was the shot of liquid burning your throat as it slid down.
Your eyes shifted around, looking for a bright light that was never there, and you’d catch a glimpse of your reflection and for a while you were able to spur a thought out of your disarrayed mind —you’re a monster Y/n. You felt and looked dreadful, clearly in need of aid, but from who? you’d only feel the need to down more of the searing liquid, frustrated with yourself, with the world. You will never be enough for everyone, not even yourself.
Brain almost turned to mush, your vision doubling the images you’re able to decipher at the moment, you’d shuffle around the unfamiliar sheets, on a bed you’ve never laid on.
“There’s some aspirin on the bedside table. I’ll be at class.”
Of all people, it had to be his bed. You sat up, face buried in your hands as you tried to remember even the slightest bit of what happened that previous night. Nothing, your mind could only bring you to the void of nothingness. You’d feel yourself around, what if something happened with you and Seunghan that night? before you could ask him however, your eyes would meet his, and in them was a glint of something you weren’t able to pick up on given your very unkempt state. He’d leave you there, not another word leaving him.
If you weren’t so thoughtful, you would’ve just left his room as it is, pocketing the aspirin —he may or may have not— left you, but you took your time tidying up his bed, not even giving the aspirin a second look before you headed out. You knew you needed the medicine, but you just couldn’t bear that thought that it was from him. He never cared —he shouldn’t care.
You still went to school earlier that day, not sparing anyone a minute of your time. You felt so defunct, so dead. On the way out of your last class for the day, you’d only subconsciously wipe your nose and blood was smeared across your face. You thanked yourself for being sober enough to rush to the comfort room and take care of it. By chance, you’d stumble into one of your friends.
“What a sport, bet you could down five barrels.” —the last thing you wanted to hear was their distasteful guffaws.
You tried your best to let out something, anything in response, but a feeble smirk was all you could display, walking out of the comfort room in need of fresher air. You thought that was the end of it, but that night you’d go home, back to your parents. You never thought they’d even notice you didn’t go home that night, but to your surprise, one of them opened their mouth to you at the dinner table.
“You’re only in your junior year Y/n —highschool might I add, I hope you’re not wasting your life away.” you could only very subtly shake your head, suppressing the scoff threatening to leave your lips the moment your mom started talking.
So what if you were wasting away? it’s not like they cared enough. They had barely given you an ounce of their affection, giving you money of the same value as convenient store student meals they considered the equivalent of a birthday celebration. Your last actual birthday was six years ago, before your parents had to ruin their relations with their own parents —your grandparents.
The grounding of this whole mess started from when your parents had introduced one another to each other’s parents. Did not go well. For years, resentment was loud and clear, even as a kid you could see it, but for the sake of your parents you pretended not to. Your parents had you without getting married, still, your grandparents loved you wholly like you were their own child. Even after your birth, your grandparents from both sides still opposed the idea of marriage, hence your parents’ dismay. They’d cut ties with your grandparents so they could carry on with their wishes of being wedded, but till now, were still not able to do so, not earning enough to fulfill this desire.
Love wins all they say, but their love was none you could see nor feel, so did abandoning their parents do anything for them at all? for their love that seemed to be so important that they’d continue to deprive you of your emotional needs?
You refuse to be like them, you want to be better, to prove something to them, to yourself. Perhaps it’s time you got a grip.
It wouldn’t be easy to stay out of the ‘friends’ that would be the foreground of your miserable life, but slowly you’d get the hang of giving absolutely no fucks for whatever they had to say.
“You can’t be serious, you? studying? if you’re just gonna be out fucking some pathetic guy downing tequila like it’s water you—”
“I have a life, Rina. Maybe you should get one too?” you’d feel a little better, finally not letting them underdog you like they always have.
You were a lot more vocal, and they didn’t like it. Soon you’d be the topic of discussion, behind your back, or when you just weren’t around. You knew, it was hard to say you didn’t care, it felt like fifty missiles coming at you at once, but what else could you do? tell them to stop? —as if they would.
“She’s such a fucking brat. What had gotten into that bitch?”
“Wait, who now?”
“Y/s/n Y/n.”
Upon hearing your name, he just couldn’t help but insert himself in the conversation, though he wasn’t meant to. “What’d she do?”
“Oh, I don’t know, be a bitch? she thinks she’s all that but she’d probably end up in a ditch somewhere.” laughing at such vile words is sickening. “Anyways, Han, please, please, please sleep with me tonight. I feel so stressed about the finals.”
He scoffed at her, loud enough for her to flinch. “Why don’t you study, freak? I’m going, I’m gonna study so I can at least continue to senior year.”
“Do you hate me now, Han?”
“Never fucking liked you in the first place.”
He saw you leave that atrocious house for the last time, but he never knew it would be the last. He still waited for you, though none of your friends ever thought of it.
Senior year flew by, and he noticed you never came back. He also noticed that you avoided him, and everyone else involved in that shitshow like you never knew them.
They made sure you wouldn’t get away with it that easily. Within a span of weeks, your life was hell once again. You were labeled a slut, an alcoholic, a toxic gossip. It was tough to wake up the next day, to continue to breath under their condemnatory glares. The thought of who you were to them was so close to swallowing you whole, into obscurity, where you belonged.
“Y/s/n Y/n? please wake up.” —an unfamiliar voice, one you thought was from the heavens coming to retrieve you from the hell you lived in.
She helped you sit up from the murky tiles of the school comfort room, assisting you with holding yourself up with a hand on the small of your back.
“Y/n, please don’t do this again. If you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. Tell me everything.” —Ahn Yujin, a girl from the pilot class, she’d heard about you, but everything she’s picked up so far contradicts your lifeless image.
She figured you must've been a victim of such vindictive mouths. You could only tell your stories through messages, fearing if you did it anywhere else, someone might overhear and use it against you.
“Don’t worry, it’s all going to be kept between you and I.” —back in school, Yujin stuck by you whenever she could. “I have a friend in another class, Ningning, you should join us for lunch!”
You felt dumb for doubting the luminance of her tone, bright as ever. This was the first time you’d had someone you felt comfortable enough to call your friend, and you were thinking, maybe, it’s just all out of pity, then it would be easy for them to just overlook your existence like everyone else does.
Your ambiguity would be lifted once you’ve received the first letter.
hey y/n, i know you’d probably think i have bad intentions, writing this and all, but i just wanted you to know that i’m really worried about you. i wish i could’ve done something to drive away those rumors, you didn’t deserve any of this. i was scared that you almost ended it all, i hope it doesn’t happen again. i wish i could give you a hug right now, but for now, this would have to do —with a cute little drawing of a bear with open arms. The artist was definitely not Van Gogh, but it was sweet nonetheless.
When you met Yujin and Ningning again that day, you would hesitantly come up to her with a warm embrace. She was a bit surprised, but happy you were finally showing signs of healthy vigor. “Hi Y/n!” she exclaimed whilst she hugged you back.
“I just wanted to say thank you, for everything —to you too Ningning. I literally wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you guys.” the two would engulf you in a big hug.
“Life is tough and highschool is filled with monsters. Rina and her little girlfriends? they can rot in hell, I’ll tell you that!”
“Shh! wait, Yunjin, people might hear!” a slight chuckle left your mouth, for the first time in a great while. “But I agree. No worries, you have us now, fuck those buffoons.”
Finally, sincerity, something you never thought you’d be met with ever again. If it weren’t for that letter though, you would’ve never figured out just how genuine Yujin and Ningning were with helping you out. Even at home, you’d be talking with them, sometimes on a call if you were feeling safe enough to make a slight noise in your home with your parents around.
“My birthday is in two weeks, God, I don’t think I'd even make it by then because of this stupid physics assignment —and the thesis too! I hate, hate, hate Lee Woojin.” you laughed at Yujin’s mention of that pathetic fool’s name, immediately catching the attention of both girls in the call.
“Y/n, is he one of those jerks?” Ningning would bring her face closer to her phone screen.
“Yes, he is. He’s bad bad.” you laughed at their reactions, Ningning shaking her head with a smirk whilst Yujin slammed her hands against each other once, scoffing.
“Of course he is, I swear to God, I will remove him from our thesis paper.”
“Honestly, he’s really nice when you first meet him, but as time goes by… you realize he’s just a total perv, him, Seunghan, Dowoon, all the same!”
You shouldn’t be surprised, but you couldn’t help but perk up hearing Seunghan’s name again after a while. His reputation, like everyone else in his friend group, was tainted —salvageable, yes, but still burnt a hole through his once admirable esteem. Girls were all over him then, the younger and older, but now, with news of him fooling around so often, he’d be nothing but a pretty playboy.
But he was no longer your concern, boys like him are never worth it, destroying the little self-worth you had. For all you knew, he probably never cared for you.
None of that would matter anymore, and for the second time, you’d receive another letter, the last one was shoved in the peephole of your locker, but this one was left under your desk.
i hope you’re reading these —also hope you’re not throwing them away after, i don’t want to assume, but I see you’re holding yourself up pretty well? i’m really proud of you :3
How could you throw such precious efforts away? you kept them all, and eventually made the decision to stick them to your personal journal that you haven’t touched for so long. Your day wouldn’t be complete without them, and you’d wordlessly thank Yujin and Ningning by being there for them like they always were for you.
“Hey, Y/n, we should do a little something for Yujin’s birthday.” you and Ningning were huddled against each other, whispering in the cafeteria before Yujin could arrive.
You quietly gasp, coming up with an idea. “Wait! I think I got it.”
And the rest of the six minutes was spent with the two of you suppressing giggles and trying to be as quiet as possible till Yujin got there. “What are you two up to?”
“Not much, just the—” you looked at Ningning as an attempt to seek help. “—group project for social studies.”
She’d just nod, slowly, eyeing the two of you with suspicious eyes, all in jest of course, and you were all laughing by the end of it.
your smile is so pretty, always smile, yeah? happy you’re happy, finally. —and another cute little sketch of a teddy bear.
You almost laughed at how ridiculously adorable it was, not meaning to sound harsh, but you really thought Yujin could draw better, but maybe she was in a rush when she made it.
i haven’t told you this, have i? —anyways, you deserve all the happiness in the world. if i could, i would take all the pain away from you, i’d take it all for you. be happy always, lots of hugs and kisses (? —are kisses okay?) —another day, another letter.
You couldn’t help but emit a soft chuckle, shaking your head at just how sweet these letters were. You made sure you paid back Yujin all the love you’ve been receiving, through her words, the smallest and biggest of gestures, and her letters.
i see you reading through my letters, not being creepy though, i just can’t help but look because you’re so cute. i’m being for real too, your little giggle is everything, and again, your smile beats everyone else’s. i think i’ll only be going to school to see that sweet smile of yours :D —this would be the letter left under your desk on Yujin’s birthday.
You can’t help but overthink the surprise you’ve prepared for her, because even on her birthday, she was still able to give you something that —for you— could never be topped by anything else in this world. To others, it’s ‘just words’, but these words were ones that encouraged you to be more motivated, to make an effort in getting ready for school everyday despite how hostile the environment could be.
Later that day, you and Ningning would be extra busy, convincing Yujin to wear the blindfold you had prepared —you had to make sure it would be comfortable for her— leading her somewhere in the park just near your school.
Two, three —“Surprise!”
You were both proud with the simplicity, yet incredibly pleasing to the eyes. A little picnic set up, with a cake you and Ningning split your budget for.
“This is just —I, oh my God.” she had her hands covering her mouth, eyes watery from the fondness you and Ningning had drowned her in.
You and Ningning would help her kneel down carefully on the blanket you’ve laid down.
“We hope you like the cake, we weren’t so sure which one to pick.” Ningning says.
“I love it, I— thank you guys.” Yujin hugs both of you once more.
Once released from their snug grasp, you’d utter, “We wanted to make sure this day would be extra special, and I want to thank you again for helping me and being my best friend, and for the letters too.”
“I love you Y/n, I really do.” she beamed at you, the dearest smile you’ve ever received since your grandparents. “Oh, but, what letters were you talking about?”
You blinked once, was it not from her? “Letters? oh, did I say letters? I meant to say words, you’re words of encouragement and all.”
“You’re so sweet, thank you Y/n.” you’d give her the same smile she’d given you, holding her hand, but at the same time, your mind was going fuzzy and you’d just ask yourself —whose letters were they?
Perhaps it was Ningning? but she seemed to be just as perplexed as Yujin was, you were just thankful that they didn’t feel the need to question you further about it.
You’d keep receiving the letters, but would still be clueless as to who this mystery sender might be. They seemed to be quite genuine, especially for hiding their identity.
the workload is starting to get really hard to bear with, i hope you’re doing good. i really wish i could help you, but i hope this little hug can help. —and another drawing of a bear with open arms.
Are they a classmate of yours? you could only be certain they were also senior year because they were aware of the piling schoolwork everyone in your year had to endure.
Even with the sender’s anonymity, their letters would still serve as a reason for you to withstand the storms of your life. You’d tell both Yujin and Ningning about it eventually, and they would be just as invested in them as you were, intrigued by this endearing mystery.
“They seem really sweet, but I really can’t think of anyone.” —was all you could answer to your friends’ queries.
“Hmm, whoever they are, I hope they’re just as good as they appear to be in these letters.” They were reading through the letters in your journal, smiling at certains points.
“Oh my God, what a flirt.” you’d rush next to Ningning, peaking at the page where they’d stopped.
i want you to read this and not think i’m playing, because i saw you this morning and thought you looked really pretty —you’re pretty every single day, but this morning was something else, i don’t sound crazy, right? or creepy?
“You should totally write something back to them!” Ningning spoke, almost in a squeal.
It was the letter from earlier that day, and it was the first time the letters would come off as more flirty like what Yujin had just said. You weren’t quite receptive with the thought of calling them your secret admirer, you’d pretty much prefer to call them your anonymous best friend.
who are you? —you left a little note above your desk before you left school that day, hoping they’d see it and respond to you.
college is nearing, i wish you all the luck in the world. i know you’ll get in a great university, and have great friends, be careful with friends, okay? also remember to always take care of yourself, no matter what.
so i wrote this last night, but i added this just now, i see you’re curious, i never thought it would matter. truly, your smile is enough. i don’t want to be in the way of your thoughts, don’t think about it much, still i really don’t want you to think i’m just messing with you. i promise to see you before we graduate :))
Your smile would diminish by the end of the letter. Right, you were graduating already. With a sigh, you’d fold the letter into one of your notebooks.
The letters never stopped, and soon, your journal was full. You got a new one, filling three more pages with their letters before graduation day. you’ll see me later near the flagpole, i’ll stand there and wave at you, wave back? hehe :3 —a note was stuck onto your designated chair during the ceremony.
Your heart pounded so quickly as time flew by, the awarding was barely in your mind anymore, all you could think of was seeing this mystery person, seeing an actual being behind those lovely and comforting words. Once everyone had their medals hanging from their necks, with smiles and faint laughter, there would be a speech left by the deans and the principal. All that’s left is to let that cap fly into the air, and look near the flagpole.
With a smile on your face, you got a little closer at the stage, just enough to be at a reasonable distance from your anonymous best friend, still you weren’t able to spot them right away. After a while, the crowd would scatter, and you could finally look without many people in the way.
You never thought you’d see his smile, a smile that called for the angels, the angel that you are.
Before he could give you a wave, you’d disappear from his sight, like snow under the summer sun. His eyes would move down to the floor, perhaps he was too sure? Well, he didn’t exactly picture that you would run to him and wrap him with your warm embrace, but he thought you’d at least spare him a small smile, either way, he couldn’t blame you. He understood why you’d react that way.
You didn’t know how to feel, was it really him? him out of all people? out of all people, him again? you wanted to believe he was just out of his mind, wanting to mess with you all over again, but then, if he really intended to, he could've done so without all the trouble of writing you all these letters every night waking up extra early just to leave them under your desk before you got there, all to get a smile out of you.
This was not the Hong Seunghan you knew.
═══════════════════════════════════════
Getting into a decent university was your biggest concern all summer, not being able to think about anything else than your entrance exam results. SNU, Yonsei, and two more back ups, you just hoped you weren’t much of a fuck up during the interview, though you did stutter at multiple points —which almost crumbled you into pieces— you’d say you did a pretty good job, till you were coming up with better answers you could’ve said right after the interview finished.
“Okay, okay. Let’s open our inbox.” you were on a call with your best friends, all equally excited, and anxious.
“I will shit myself.”
You checked yours, you got four emails from all four universities you applied for. You only got into two, much to your luck, one of them was Yonsei.
“Oh my God, we’re going to Yonsei together!” Yujin had her hands clasped together.
“I can’t wait to skip classes with you guys!” you both laugh at Ningning’s quip.
“Maybe not that, but yey!”
Your life seems to be moving in the right direction, one where you’ll finally be able to reach a point of contentment, and pure bliss.
You’d find yourself smiling at the ceiling, eyes closed, laying flat on your back. It felt so good to be out of the haphazards, just thinking about the future and what it held for you and the two of your favorite people.
Relief coursed through your body, finally you could step out of that dismal household. Your parents promised to send you money regularly, but you were determined to get some sort of side job that could earn you enough so you could save up for something nice —you yet weren’t sure for what exactly, but you’d figure it out soon enough.
Arriving at the dorms, you were thankful that it was spacious enough, not like you’d have a use for so much space, just that you hoped you could pre-establish some boundaries with your roommate, who —fortunately for you— was very nice and quite extroverted.
“Hi! My name is Haewon!”
“Hi! I’m Y/n, nice to meet you!”
And she was nice enough to invite you and your friends to a little get-together they had.
“There’s not many people, but I think Sunoo said he was bringing in a few friends, I'm not familiar with them either.” Haewon shrugged right as she spoke about her friend Sunoo.
This was the circle of friends you thought you’d be in in highschool, but does that really matter anymore? you already had Yujin, Ningning, and now Haewon, and possibly a few more you hoped.
You’d meet up with Yujin and Ningning before you got to the get-together, you were all just as nervous as the other, but were still anticipating something wonderful out of it.
“I just hope they’re really as nice as they sound, I mean, meeting Haewon earlier, they probably are, but still!” Yujin spoke with haste, using a hand mirror to guide herself with fixing her hair.
“We’ll be okay, tonight will be great.” you urged with pure excitement.
You were a firm believer —just recently— that things would go well if you believed hard enough, and throughout the ride to the meeting place, you wore a smile, one that would only shine brighter once you were greeted by Haewon and two other girls. Soon enough you’d learn their names, Seeun and Sullyoon. However, Sunoo seemed to be running late.
“I wonder who he’s coming with, I hope they’re nice too.” Sullyoon kept her eyes on Haewon —who looked to be growing a bit annoyed— as she spoke.
After five counts of minutes, you’d hear a few pairs of feet approaching, and you’d turn yourself around to face them with a wee bit of hesitance.
“Finally! Well, anyways, this is my roomate Y/n and her best friends, Yujin and Ningning.”
“Is Haewonnie mad at me?”
“Don’t even get me started with that—”
“Yeah, okay, okay. I brought my roommate too, Seunghan, and his best friend Sohee.”
Him again.
Everything was flashing back in your mind in one full swing, the letters, graduation day, the aspirin. It wouldn’t be as bad looking back at it, but he was right there. Perhaps you made a mistake on graduation day? maybe he was just in the way of your anonymous best friend who stood near the flagpole. But he was the only one there. —your thoughts would stray far from the conversation at play, but you wouldn’t let yourself get too lost in your head to shut everyone out. You tried shutting him out, but somehow your eyes were progressively becoming so drawn to his own. Why was he suddenly giving you this much attention? it should’ve been over the moment you had rejected the aspirin, the morning you woke up on his bed, but he was here again, and he’s different.
It posed a question, what is it that could truly change somebody? an event? a place? another person? you could say, from that night alone you could observe that he’s changed as much as you did. A lot more smiley —like you, a bit timid, but still very open —like you, listened very carefully and very well, especially to you. You’d mind him the entire night, but made sure you were still being a functional friend and not just sitting there like an idiot thinking about this one guy that you suddenly couldn’t get off of your head —get out!
The moment would come where it was finally time to say goodbye. Everyone was so nice to you and your friends that nothing else came out of your other than small thank you’s whilst you gave them little waves, even him. He waved at you too, but he seemed too happy for his own good.
That night however, while you got your stuff fixed, opening the bag you brought to the get-together for anything you would need for class the next day, you’d be met with a small piece of paper, folded in half.
good luck for tomorrow’s classes, it was really nice seeing you again. i missed you, y/n —there it was again, that stupidly cute bear that could easily be mistaken for a koala.
You really had nothing else left to do than to just wait for the sun to rise again, but not without giving everything an hour of your thought. You’re dazed with his sudden, and very unexpected appearance at that get-together, though you could never be sure, he didn’t seem to be the same Seunghan that bounced from girl to girl, ignoring you —something you so desperately wanted to get off your mind, but it was all coming back now. Because what could be the reason for him to write you all those letters? suddenly he was so concerned for you now? Was it because you almost lost your life? Was this just his pity getting the better of him?
Whatever it may be, it was for sure driving you insane.
“Good morning Y/n! I went down to get breakfast and I noticed you got mail, I fetched it for you if it’s alright, figured it might be from your family.” your eyes went wide at the envelope Haewon held up to your groggy face.
It’s not from my family, they’d never, “Thank you.” —you had a hunch of whom it might be from.
And your hunch was right.
good morning! i was hoping maybe you’d consider (you really don’t have to though) having lunch with me later today? and maybe we can talk for real, no pressure though! you really don’t have to show up (but please do?). i know you know who i am now, and i totally get why you’d react the way you did, i honestly would’ve reacted the same way (i really tried to draw some kind of emoticon with a bear, but i’m not exactly an artist).
You were already at the dining hall with Yunjin and Ningning when you read the letter. Though, with furrowed eyebrows, you wondered when and where exactly you’d be meeting him for lunch, other than that, your chortle by the end of reading it was very telling.
“Another letter? your secret admirer followed you to Yonsei?” your tittering escalated into a hearty laugh leaving Yujin wide-eyed. “Wait, do you already know who it is?”
“Yeah, I know him very well.” you replied, leaving them with a sheepish grin.
“Him? Who is it?” both of them left their mouths agaped when you continued to chuckle at them.
“You’ll find out eventually.”
“And when exactly is ‘eventually’?”
Lunch? you really didn’t know where else to go other than the dining hall, so you went there again for lunch time. You told your friends that you were waiting for this not so mysterious person, and they’d situate themselves at a table farther, but near enough to see whoever sits at your table.
Whilst you waited, you’d grab your lunch from the food queue. Once sat, your eyes would constantly shift from your food to the entrance, and you could only take tiny bites, not wanting to inhale your food entirely when your company was yet to arrive. You toyed with the single piece of vegetable on your plate using a steel spoon, did he stood me up? —at that point you had even received a text from Yujin that read, where the hell is that idiot?
He’s right there. By chance, more desirably by fate, glancing towards the entrance your eyes would stay there, locked with his. Both of you would shy away as he got closer, and when he was finally at your table he would softly utter, “I’m sorry, did I keep you waiting?”
Yes —you’d think to yourself, yet you’d shake your head at him at a staggered pace. For a moment you thought he’d sit next to you, walking to the empty seat next to you, but then he’d go full circle, sitting across from you.
Right in front of you is a plastic bag, quite obviously food. “Oh, is this…”
“It’s chicken, you can save it for later if you want, it’d still taste good if you microwave it again, you have a microwave, right?” you almost laugh, he was just as comical as he was in his letters.
You wondered if this was what changed, or if this had been the Seunghan behind that playboy facade all along. “Yes, Seunghan, I have a microwave.”
Later that day, your friends just had to have a talk with you, it was the four of you in your dorm room, Haewon being included by chance. Firstly of course, you had to give your roommate a little summary of what had been of your highschool life, who you used to be, and him of course.
With utter disbelief, gasps were evoked, one after another like chimes until Ningning spoke, “I still can’t believe that was the Hong Seunghan from highschool, I mean, he did seem a lot nicer at last night’s dinner, but who would’ve known?”
He’s changed for good, as he should —you thought, you were in college after all, it would only make sense for him to get himself together.
“But, if he’d been giving you those letters since highschool, do you think he'd have changed then?” The question came from Haewon who was very clearly immersed in your story.
“Maybe? I didn’t really see him as often, and, yeah, I kind of hated him then.” you mentioned it in your story too, how he used to be so apathetic towards you.
“Oh, yeah. So how’d lunch go?” the three had their noses pointed towards you, trapping you against the headboard of your bed.
“It was good.” really Y/n? —you’d question yourself, because everything you could recall from lunch that day was just the two of you shying away from each other’s eyes, seemingly waiting on each other to speak.
“How good?”
Fine would’ve been a better word. It was your first time having lunch with him, let alone spending time with him. You held your first actual conversation, and he was very unlike how you’d hear him talk to others back then. Most importantly, he was all eyes and ears for you. It was the very first instance where your eyes would gaze into each other long enough for you to feel something you had never felt before.
good morning! you know, i should’ve asked yesterday, but would it be okay if i got your number? just wondering hehe, also you can tell me if you want me to stop with the letters, maybe you’d be more accustomed to messages (okay, it looks like a bear, right? sohee told me it doesn’t, i got a little too paranoid about it.)
Though feeling a little awful having to go to class again, today sparked a fire in you, a sort of motivation, a new objective if you will.
This time, you’d approach him at that one class you shared. He’d freeze when he saw your figure taking wary steps towards him, anyways, shouldn’t he be the one approaching you?
You’d stand in front of him for a few seconds before very nonchalantly sticking a post-it near his chest, on his dress shirt. You’d give him a small smile before making your way out of the lecture hall.
xxxx - xxx - xxxx, ttyl <3 —he thought he must’ve looked ridiculous wearing such a bashful grin, anyways he couldn’t care less, not at all when he had a conversation with you to look forward to at the end of the day.
hi? sorry if i’m bothering you, i don’t know if you’re busy or not, personally, i’m not busy, not saying you can’t be busy. if you’re busy maybe we can talk when you’re not busy anymore heh
He writes letters over messages too? —you’d giggle to yourself, curling up into a ball as you messaged him back, not really busy, hi :))
OH
HELLO
so, yeah
i just hope, idk
i’ve been contemplating
it’s ok han, go ahead
i just wanted to say i’m sorry for everything, from highschool and all that. it just didn’t feel right to just move on from everything knowing how much it affected you.
i hope this isn’t overwhelming for you
i should’ve said this irl
but lowkey i’m kinda scared of confrontations
yea, i can tell lol
YOU CAN?
oh
yeah
i see why
i’m one idiot sandwich
You hummed quietly to yourself, biting your bottom lip as you typed, more like an idiot cupcake
a cupcake?
yea
u were a jerk, but ur very sweet as it turns out
oh, sorry bout that hehe
u rlly don’t have to keep saying sorry
i’ve forgiven u a long time ago
really?
thank you, it really means a lot
like A LOT A LOT
thank you for also considering meeting me for lunch and talking to me n stuff and not ignoring me
and also, i hope u don’t think i’m playing you with those letters
i meant every word, all from the heart :3
that doesn’t sound too cheesy right? god i’m sweating right now
no han 😭
i think it’s very sweet
and really adorable
ur so adorable
Explode —he thought he’d explode right then and there. You were calling him adorable? he’d never foreseen this ever occurring, it seemed unreal at most.
seunghan?
yes
i’m alive :D —you’d think he was aware of how cute he was, but truly it was just the effect you had on him.
By that time, you thought the letters would stop coming, after all it’d be easier for him to message you.
“Good morning Y/n! I grabbed your mail for you, it came with food, some melon bread, if I had to guess, this is from…” Haewon would eye you keenly, nodding at her, she’d only nod back in response, catching the signal.
good day! —wow, that sounded like a message from the dean, but anyways, good morning to you, miss lovely. i’d like to propose something, so you, me, your friends, my friends —lunch, sounds good?
It would be the five of you at lunch, talking about whatever was there to talk about —mostly professors you didn’t like, and students that caught your attention— talking, throwing a few jokes around and laughing altogether. It would all be harmless fun, well, that was until all you could see was each other. At first it would all be pure coincidence, but then after a few more coincidences, suddenly your eyes looked for each other. It was like playing tag, and your friends are all ‘it’. Eventually, your friends would catch up to you two, not outrightly saying it, but they could tell something was at play.
“Y/n?”
“Yes?”
What was I gonna say? “Oh, uh…”
“Seunghan?”
“Um, yeah. I’ll talk to you later.” —his smile was very sure, very eager for your heeding.
═══════════════════════════════════════
ur going to movie night?
i got the good shit 😎
i’m scared
fear not damsel
i’m sure ur gonna love it fr fr
who r u calling damsel 🤨
oh sorry
princess (?)
that better?
see u at sullyoon’s
bye shinchan •^•
see ya princess >:)
It’s been a while, a while nearing five months. What’s changed? nothing much, you got closer, more comfortable, though not face to face, through messages you just seemed to spew anything at each other displacing all worries that once floated around your mind. And of course, you still received the letters —one hundred and ninety-four letters, from the very first day till today.
FOR NARNIA! I AM excited :)) we’re watching EVERY movie in the franchise, you better pack your softest blanket, AND, also, i have a little gift for you. just a little something, i hope you love it as much as i do. —a drawing of a smiling bear, at some angles uncanny, making you laugh on the way back up to your dorm room after fetching his letter.
You gave a lot of thought on picking out pajamas for this one-night occasion, cozy or cute? Why not both?
“I knew it’d be so cute on you! I can’t wait for everyone else to see!” Haewon would coo at you, caressing the fuzz of your lion onesie. “Do the roar.”
“No.”
You and roommate would walk your way to Sullyoon’s dorm room —one she shared with Seeun— in your fuzzy and colorful onesies, with a few snacks and beverages at hand. And of course you wouldn’t forget your fluffy comforter.
“Hi —Oh my God, that’s so cute!” like you expected, Yujin and Ningning would come cooing at you too, and soon Sullyoon and Seeun.
Yujin gently squished your cheeks together. “Are you excited for the movie?” you’d asked through squished cheeks.
“Of course cutie.” —and a slight poke to your left cheek.
“FOR NARN—” Seunghan would stop in his tracks when he saw you all huddled up at one end of the ouch in your fuzzy lion onesie. “...nia.”
You’d perk up at the sound of his voice, giving him a peppy wave. “Hi!” you mouthed at him, and he’d happily wave back rushing beside you.
In between the two of you were pillows and a few plushies. “I got us some turtle chips, don’t tell the others.” he’d whisper.
“Why not?”
“Limited supply, princess.”
Soon, everyone would settle down, snacks laid out where everyone could reach to take a handful, and of course, your beloved turtle chips would be hidden under a blanket laying on top of yours and Seunghan’s laps. The lights went dim, and the movie was on.
“We should do Harry Potter next.”
“Chill girly, we haven’t even gotten this one started.” —and laughter.
The movie was fun, as far as you could tell. It was quite difficult to find any sense of focus for the movie when you could feel the warmth of his body, even being a few inches apart on the floor, both leaning against the edge of the couch. You’d use the turtle chips as an excuse to look anywhere near his direction at multiple points in the movie, reaching for some chips from the blanket —it was dark so you’d have to make extra effort anyway. The twelfth time you reached into that bag of chips you shared, the back of your hands would brush against each other, and you’d flinch, moving your hand away almost immediately.
“Sorry.” he’d whisper.
As the night went on, it would happen more often, and you would care less and less, until not at all. Either way, you were both just in for the snack, and maybe a little more.
Three movies in, you’d glance beside you, seeing a drowsy Seeun next you with Ningning laying herself against Seeun’s side, already asleep. You looked up, Sohee seemed to actually be invested in the movie, and so was Sullyoon, Yujin and Sunoo? Well, they were awake, but they might just be watching something else.
“Y/n?” you’d lower your head, almost jumping at the close proximity of your faces.
“What is it Han?” you were able to utter quietly, subsiding your flustered state.
He just stares for a while, taking in the colors on the tv screen reflecting on your glistening eyes. Breaking his trance, in a whisper, he’d ask, “You read my letter this morning, right?”
“Of course” I always do —you weren’t brave enough to tell him the rest just yet.
“Here’s my gift.” From behind him, he’d bring out a little teddy bear, one in your favorite color. “And also, I wanted to give you my letter for tomorrow in advance —I feel like this is pretty convenient timing.” Now, from under the blanket, he would bring out an envelope, colored a nice, light orange.
He hands it to you, and you’d very gently take it from his hand as you whispered again, “Thank you, Han.”
The letter seemed to be a lot more decorated. The envelope was of somewhat higher quality —it was a lot thicker— and it had a few stickers here and there, you could tell he was trying to get a pattern of some sort. You were eager to read through it right then, but just as you opened the envelope, he brought his hand to lower yours that held the envelope, moving his body closer to yours in the process. “It’d be better if you read it tomorrow.”
Your sides were pressed onto each other, but none of you would budge. You’d just go back to the movie, or attempt to do so. With the fleeting time, you were already halfway into the last movie. When your yawn deflated, you’d feel some weight on your shoulder. You were, in all honesty, too sleepy to capture all of your emotions. And without second thought, you’d allow your head to fall on the one that lies on your shoulder.
The letter —suddenly you were wide awake. You glanced to your side, seeing his alluring visage, closed lips and slight agape mouth, you chuckled, ever so quietly as to not wake him up. You would very carefully open the envelope, freeing the folded piece of paper. You gave yourself a few seconds to take in the tiny sketches of bears, Shinchan, stars, hearts and other whatnots.
hey, i hope you have time to read everything, i'm very nervous writing this too. i just wanted to say that for the first time in my life i found something —no, someone i can never seem to move on from, someone i would never give up, not even for my own life. i know i was never the best person you could have around, and i have so much guilt in me for taking my chances for granted. i've liked you since october 12th 2020, it's been four years, we're also in college now. i hope you don't think i'm only saying this for my own sake, but i just wanted you to know that's it's been you since october 12th 2020. i was young and stupid, i cringe at this excuse but maybe it's true after all, but still it was so wrong. nothing was stopping me from pursuing you the moment i saw your beautiful face —your beautiful self, you're so beautiful, everything about you is beautiful. at that time i never knew you thought so badly of yourself, please don't ever think that again. if others can only see your flaws, all i see is how perfect you are, hoping this doesn't sound too cliche to the point where you'd think it's fake :(( it's true, i love you. we're like jack and rose —or maybe not, jack dies lol (i mean i'd die for you anyway), romeo and juliet? oh, no, they both die, so, noah and allie? ...no, NO. even better, seunghan and y/n, y/n and seunghan. hoping this love story is one where no one dies (at least not until we're, like, 90) and no one is forced to move places because your parents hate me and vice versa —anyways, i really love you, and i totally understand if you're doubting me, before i end this letter i just wanted to thank you for being so strong too, again, i love you.
The final movie ended with your watered eyes, but it wouldn’t be the movie that would evoke your emotions. With a few blinks, your tears would fall, and slowly, your hand would creep under the blanket, reaching —not for the chips, but for the hand of the very first you’d call your lover.
Your touch would wake him from his slumber, and he’d look at you, head slightly hovering over your shoulder. “Are you okay? was the movie that sad?”
You’d chuckle softly, giving his hand a light squeeze. “I just —I love you too, Seunghan.”
“Wait, you read the letter?” eyes curious, but still evidently sleepy, you’d guide his head back on your shoulder. “Oh, you did.”
Silence took over, and soon light snores from your friends. You’d slowly shift yourself to a position where you were facing him, and he’d do the same. He was physically unable to hold back, lips planting a soft kiss on your forehead. You two figured your friends are already far off into dreamland, so you’d get comfortable, arms wrapped around each other. He has one arm under your head, hand drawing circles on your hair, his other arm was wrapped around your waist allowing his hand to settle on the end of your spine. You had both arms wrapped around his waist, snuggling into him with his gift teddy bear stuffed in between the two of you.
“I feel like it'd be better if you heard it from me directly.” He tried his best to be very quiet, but would end up earning a groan from one of your friends.
“Just bring yourself closer, Han.” —he was more than happy to oblige, and now you could feel each other’s warm breath hitting the skin on your faces.
“I love you Y/n.” —and of course, every happily ever after ends with a true love's kiss.
End.
#riize#briize#riize au#riize fanfic#riize x reader#riize fluff#riize angst#riize seunghan#hong seunghan#riize imagines#Spotify
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I'm not sure if commissions are open or not, or if you've done something like this before but can you do a story where reader is also really insecure and meets gyutaro? (He can be demon or human up to you). I think reader would be so different and doesn't feel attractive to due to flaws they have but end up feeling better when they end up with gyutaro who compliments them and spoils them a bit since he understands how they feel.
𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞!𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Gyutaro couldn't understand what was wrong with you.
It appeared that nothing was wrong with you at all, but you acted like something was wrong with you. And he just couldn't put his finger on it.
You've come into the convenience store he works at every couple of days. Most days you grab a coffee, some days you get snacks, and once a month you buy face cream.
The way you walked, spoke, and looked around nervously was confusing to him. You carry yourself as if you just want to hide. And he understands that, it's something he wishes he could do every day. But you're not like him.
In his eyes, you're a cute girl that looks to be around his age. Maybe a couple years younger.
Instead of wearing cute skirts and accessories like the other girls your age do, you wear baggy pants and hoodies. He doesn't dislike it, he actually admires how you wear what you want. But you don't seem confident in the clothes you wear. And the way that you look at the other girls is all too familiar to him. Envy.
He narrows his eyes as he watches you peruse the convenience store once again. Going to the beauty section. Has it been a month already?
With a sigh he slips his phone back into his pocket as you approach.
He doesn't greet you when you walk up to the register. But you're used to it. You've seen him enough times to know that he's cold towards every customer and not just you.
Putting the face cream on the counter, you instinctively reach into your purse.
"This shit doesn't work. You know that right?" He rasps, looking down at you with an indifferent expression.
"Wh-what?"
"This cream. It's bullshit. You should stop buying it," he frowns and takes the cream, putting it behind the register instead of scanning it for you.
"What do you mean? I use that stuff every day..." you mumble.
"A stupid cream isn't gonna make you feel prettier."
You feel tears welling up in your eyes as you hear his words. It's embarrassing and you feel humiliated being called out by a cute boy. With a sniffle you promptly turn to leave. But you don't get very far before you feel his calloused fingers wrapped around your wrist.
"You're a pretty girl, you don't need this shit. I know you feel self conscious cause you compare yourself to everyone else. I'm the same way. Look at the shit I have on my face!" He raises his voice slightly, then takes a deep breath to calm down before continuing, "Listen, I'm just tryna say I know how you feel... and you shouldn't spend your money on dumb products like this. You just gotta deal with it in that stupid little brain of yours."
He pokes your forehead with his finger. The way he is so blunt makes you smile a bit.
"I-I know... you're right," you wipe your tears, "It's just so hard when those other girls are so much prettier than me... all of them probably have boyfriends too. No guy would ever look twice at me."
"I did," he doesn't hesitate, "I stare at you every time you come in here. I think you're a very pretty girl."
Your face instantly turns red and you stare up at him in surprise.
"I get jealous too when I see all these dudes come in here with their perfect skin and expensive shoes. Pisses me off... probably have girlfriends too..." he lets go of your wrist and starts scratching his neck. "But maybe we could work on it together..? I wouldn't mind hangin' out with you sometime..."
"R-Really?" you say so quiet that he almost doesn't hear you. But he does, and he shyly nods and looks away as his cheeks turn pink.
"I'd love that," you say with a smile, "Thank you..."
You lean forward and hug him. A soft gasp escapes his lips from the sudden gesture, but he quickly hugs you back.
You barely know him but it feels so good to know that someone understands how you feel. And of course it's a plus that it just so happens to be the cute boy that works at your favorite convenience store.
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Joke Pt 3
Young Sirius Black x Chubby/Plus Size Reader
Imagine: Sirius really likes you but his reputation makes you think he’s using you for a joke. He has to prove his feelings for you but it goes horribly wrong.
Word Count: 2.7K
Warnings: None
Masterlist
Part 1 Part 2
previously...
Now that you were pretty much alone again, you pulled out the earrings once more to admire them, holding them in your hands and you had to urge to bring them up to hold against your chest. You’d never received such a gift before, you loved them. Maybe he really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings?
______________________________________________________________
A bored sigh left your mouth as you waited in the Gryffindor common room for Lily to return. Everyone had left to go to Hogsmeade but you hadn’t gotten your permission slip signed in time and couldn’t go. You hadn’t stuck around long, not wanting to cause a scene by arguing with the professor. You said goodbye to Lily and walked back to the common room to lie down on the couch. There was only a couple of third years around, everyone else was at classes or on trips out. You supposed it was going to be a very lonely couple of hours. You turned over to face the fireplace, watching the flames was calming and it relaxed you. You jumped when you felt something touch your leg, pulling them closer to you and spinning your head around to see Sirius standing next to you, his hands in the air.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you, was just wondering if I could sit here.” You didn’t say anything but you moved to sit up so he could sit on the other end of the couch. You bent your legs up towards you and looked at the couch arm, “What are you doing here?” Sirius scoffed out a laugh, “What? I’m not allowed to be in my own common room?” You rolled your eyes, “You know what I meant, why aren’t you on the trip with everyone else?” Sirius shrugged his shoulders, “Parents wouldn’t sign my permission slip.” You glanced over in his direction, “That sucks.” He made a noise of indifference, “No, not really, I wasn’t really going to do anything there anyways.”
You nodded and turned to face him properly, having to turn your head every couple of seconds was hurting your neck a little, “So what are you gonna do until your entourage come back?” Sirius chuckled and shrugged his shoulder again, “I’m not quite sure, how about you?” You sighed in thought, “Well, I was thinking about going to the library to do some homework.” Sirius blurted out, “No, that’s boring. I’ve got an idea. Wait here.” You were confused as Sirius jumped up from the couch and ran upstairs to the boys dorms. You didn’t want to just leave, that would be kind of mean, even if he deserved it. You weren’t exactly sure why you were being friendly to Sirius after what he did, but you had a feeling you were going to regret it.
You waited there for five minutes before Sirius finally returned, with a piece of fabric in his arm that looked like a cloak and a plain piece of parchment. You gave him a hesitant look, “What are you expecting to do with those?” Sirius just grinned and waved you over as he started walking out of the common room. You groaned as you got up and followed him, wishing you hadn’t said anything to him now. You should’ve known he would eventually rope you into one of his pranks. You’d only took one step outside and you looked around but didn’t see Sirius anywhere. He was right here, where did he go? You went to go walk down the stairs when you felt a tap on your shoulder behind you. You turned around but there was nothing there.
Just as you were starting to get creeped out, you felt something get thrown over your head and suddenly Sirius was standing right in front of you, “Hello gorgeous.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop yourself from blushing at how close the two of you were, you were an inch away from touching. You tried to step back but Sirius put his arm around you to keep you close, “Careful, wouldn’t want to cloak to fall off and reveal us sneaking around would you?” While Sirius wouldn’t mind it at all if he was caught with you so close to him, you were worried what people might think about you considering what happened a couple weeks ago with the badges. You sighed but stayed close to him, “Where did you get this anyway?” “It’s James’, some kind of family trinket or something. Comes in really handy for pranks, and so does this.” He showed you the piece of parchment and you sighed, taking it into your hands, “And how does a piece of parchment help you with pranks?” Sirius reached over to tap it with his wand, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”
You looked in awe as text started to show up on the parchment, and then confusion, “Who are these guys?” Sirius grinned, clearly excited, “They’re us, me and the guys. I’m Padfoot, Remus is Mooney, James is Prongs and Peter is Wormtail.” You hummed, “So this shows you where everyone is in the castle? No wonder you lot get away with so much.” Sirius nodded, pointing to a corridor where you could see a couple of teachers passing then turned to face each other. While you were snooping, Sirius saw a teacher heading this way and covered your mouth, pushing you against the wall. You felt your heart racing and you blushed but once you saw the professor walk past you two, you calmed down. Sirius moved away from you, “Are you okay?” You looked down and nodded, “Yeah I’m fine.” Sirius could tell there was something up with you but didn’t question it, taking your hand and leading you in the direction of Filch’s office.
You wouldn’t admit it but it was kind of thrilling sneaking around without anyone knowing you were there. You doubted you would agree to do this on a regular basis but you could be persuaded to do it again. You saw Filch going into his office and just before the door shut, Sirius pulled you inside with him. You watched as Sirius pulled out his wand and whispered a spell that made the desk start to float. Filch gasped and cried out, watching in horror as the cabinets started flickering open and shut again. You had to hold back a laugh as he fell over trying to leave and Sirius put his wand to his throat to make his voice sound more ghostly as he shouted, “Get Out!” Filch whimpered and practically crawled out of the room and you heard him shouting, “Demon Furniture! Demon Furniture!” as he ran down the hallway.” Once the coast was clear, you let yourself laugh out loud, “Is he always this gullible?” Sirius chuckled but it was quieter than normal. He wasn’t really paying attention to what you said, too bust focusing on your laugh. He had never heard you laugh so hard before, he didn’t want it to end. He felt proud that he was the one who made you laugh like that.
You sighed in relief as you stopped laughing, it was starting to hurt your sides, you were laughing so much. You looked at Sirius, a smile on your face but it went away when you saw how he was looking at you. You cleared your throat, “What?” He stepped closer and looked into your eyes, “Can I show you something? But you can’t tell anyone else about it.” You nodded, this was possibly the most exciting day you’ve had all year, you wouldn’t mind experiencing a little more.
You followed Sirius out of Filch’s office, still hiding underneath the cloak. Having to be confined against Sirius was making you feel a little warm under your jumper. Just as your fingers fiddled with the hem, preparing to take it off, Sirius suddenly stopped in front of you. You didn’t manage to stop yourself in time and crashed right into his back, your hands instinctively clinging onto his sides to steady yourself in case you fell. Sirius felt heat rush to his cheeks having felt your body pressed against his back, your arms half wrapped around him. But as soon as he felt it, it was gone as you pushed yourself away from him to stand by yourself. Sirius turned his head to look at you over his shoulder, “We’re here.”
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you looked straight at a plain stone wall, identical to many others within the castle. Sirius grinned at your face as he closed his eyes and started to think. You looked at either side, looking out for any students or teachers headed your way, but there was no one in sight. You glanced back at the wall and your eyes widened ever so slightly as you watched a pattern start to emerge on the wall in front of you. It grew and grew until it showed two large doors. Your mouth was parted in shock, how had you never noticed this before. A snicker ruined your awe and you glared at Sirius who did nothing to hide his amusement. He opened the door and headed inside waiting until you were both safely inside until taking the cloak off. You gasped as you looked around the room, it looked like a similar version of your common room but cosier, there was something about it that made you feel safe and protected. Sirius watched you wander about the room, “This is the Room of Requirement. It comes to those in need. Me and the guys found it a couple years ago.”
You had sat yourself down on one of the many couches in the room, “What would you need another common room for? All to yourself?” Sirius followed you to the couch, “It doesn’t always look like this, the room alters to fit what you need it for.” You nodded in understanding, “So why do you need this room?” Sirius shrugged, “I guess it’s where I feel most comfortable, where I see all the people most important to me.” You weren’t looking at him but you didn’t miss his pointed stare as he spoke. You tugged the sleeves of your jumper down over your wrists as you looked down at your feet, a rush of awkwardness overcoming you, “So what are we doing here then?”
Sirius shrugged and looked around, “Whatever we want, the room will adapt to bring us whatever we require, hence the name, so just name it?” You slowly spun around, eyes taking in everything that was laid out over tabletops and on the couches. Your eyes caught a familiar chessboard, “Want to play some chess?” It wasn’t the most interesting idea but it was all you could think of. Sirius hummed in thought, “Alright but we’ll make it interesting, after each game, the loser has to reveal something about themselves.” You sighed and rolled your eyes at him but sat down, of course he had to use this to pry into your personal life. But again, there was nothing else to do until everyone returned from Hogsmeade so you might as well waste the time somehow. You placed the chess board atop the coffee table in front of the fireplace and the two of you sat either side of it on the floor, the thick rug on the ground was warm and soft enough that it wasn’t uncomfortable.
Within twenty minutes, Sirius held a triumphant smirk on his face as his king smashed your queen into pieces, “Checkmate (Y/L/N), time to reveal your secrets,” he wiggled his fingers in front of you and you didn’t bother hiding a small smile as you looked up, thinking of what to say. “Um, okay, I’ll say that my favourite colour is red.” You looked at Sirius and was taken aback by his unimpressed expression, “What?” Sirius rolled his eyes, “That was nothing, rule change, you have to answer the winner’s question of choice with complete honesty.” You huffed, “Okay fine, what is it?” “I want to know what your favourite animal is.”
You shrugged in mild annoyance, “I don’t see how that’s much of a step up from my favourite colour, but okay. My favourite animal would be dogs , they’re just so cute and usually pretty friendly. My parents have three and I love them all.” Sirius smiled to himself and you raised an eyebrow at him but he shook his head, “Nothing, now come on, let’s go again.”
Almost two hours had passed and it was abundantly clear that you were out of your league playing chess with Sirius. You had lost every single game and had been forced into spilling the beans about your hobbies, wether Lily fancied James or if he had no chance at all, which classes you liked best, what the muggle world was like, your favourite things about the wizarding world etc. You had started to get bored of chess after losing so many times but you didn’t want to seem like a sore loser though you did nothing to hide the pout on your face as it appeared Sirius had the upper hand once again. Sirius smiled to himself as he watched you staring at all the difference pieces left on the board, your eyebrows furrowed deep in concentration as you looked for a way to win. He purposely moved his knight away to leave his queen open to be attacked and watched with restrained glee as you sat up in excitement, practically shouting, “Checkmate! Checkmate! Finally!”
Sirius couldn’t help the chuckles as he watched you and you couldn’t help filling up with embarrassment, your cheeks flushing red as you settled back down. You cleared your throat, “Okay now it’s my turn to ask you a question and you have to be completely honest.” Sirius nodded in return at your pause. You sighed and looked him in the eyes, “Do you really like me or is it all a joke?” Sirius’s face turned serious as he stared back at you, “I know everyone thinks of me as just some prankster, as some kind of ‘manwhore’ as I heard Molly say before, but I never intend to hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t pretend to like someone for a prank, I know I went about it all the wrong way but I promise I do like you (Y/N), you’re different than the other girls, I can’t stop thinking about you. But you’ve said no and I’ll respect that now like I should have done in the beginning. I’m still really sorry about that and I’m glad we’re friends again at least.”
You bit your lip and nodded your head, his words seemed genuine and that was good enough for you. You gave him a soft smile, “Thank you, now come on, Lily and the others should be back any moment now so let’s head back, I’m satisfied now that I’ve won once.” Sirius got up and followed you out, using the map to show when it would be clear to exit the room of Requirement. You didn’t bother hiding with the cloak on the way back, the two of you walking in a comfortable silence back to the Gryffindor common room. The two of you headed inside of the painting and once it opened, you heard loud voices all chattering over each other, indicating everyone had returned already. Sirius turned to you, “Well, I had fun today maybe I can help you waste time again?” You scoffed, “I’ll think about it, it was pretty fun.”
Sirius couldn’t help the big grin on his face as he turned and walked over to the other marauders. You watched him walk away for a moment and just as you were about to turn away, you saw a piece of parchment fall out of his pocket and land on the floor in front of you. You quickly picked it up before it could get stood on and turned it over to see what it was. Your eyes skimmed over the paper and saw it was his permission slip for the Hogsmeade trip today, only at the bottom it was clearly signed by both of his parents. You looked up but he hadn’t seen you pick it up so you quickly folded it and put it into your own trouser pocket, heading upstairs to see if Lily had come straight back as well. You bit your lip, trying to ignore the warm feeling you felt in your chest as your hand gripped the parchment in your pocket.
#Harry Potter#harry potter x reader#harry potter x chubby reader#harry potter x plus size reader#Sirius Black#sirius black x reader#sirius black x chubby reader#sirius black x plus size reader#chubby reader#x chubby reader#plus size reader#x plus size reader
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𝙻𝚘𝚐𝚊𝚗 (𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝)||𝚆𝚘𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚎 - 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚢
𝕎𝕀𝕊ℙ𝕊𝕀𝕄ℙ𝕊
— — —
ft sitting in his lap, a hint of teeth, cock-warming + some grinding, human present, oral(R!Receiving), fingering; ft GN!Reader, no pronouns used to refer to Reader or explicit genitalia
𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: I do not own X-Men/Marvel or its characters, all credit goes to its creators and actors
WC: 2,082
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: Includes reader being entirely nude except for a ribbon, pet names babydoll, babe, baby, doll, and sweetheart are used, No Use of Y/n, obligatory exhibitionism/public sex warning (Series Warning)
𝔐𝔦𝔫𝔦 𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢: pet names used(babydoll, doll, sweetheart, etc) are all intended to be gender neutral, reader has a mostly ambiguous mutation, but it is mentioned to have a self-healing factor,, Also, I’d like to preemptively apologize for the puns, there’s only a couple but,,, yk,, puns
【Ｍａｓｔｅｒｌｉｓｔ】
— — —
You carefully adjust the bow over your sex as you breathe to calm yourself before you present(I’m hilarious aren’t I?( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) yourself to the birthday boy.
Logan and you have been together for nearing 2 years now, but you still get flustered when it comes to things like this. You’ve fucked in front of people before but then it was strangers and you weren’t entirely nude except for a ribbon twisted around your form. Knowing it’s his birthday, you steel your nerves and don’t let yourself think too much as you wait for your cue.
“Now, Logan, I think it’s time for your big present!” Scott announces, making sure to be loud enough that you can hear him. One last quick breath to release your last bit of stress and you’re out. You take shy steps into the room and the bright red ribbon contrasting against your skin catches his attention immediately.
His eyes rake down your form and a wide grin slowly grows on his face the more he sees and the closer you get to him.
“Damn, babydoll. All that for me?” He bites his lip with a borderline feral smirk on his lips.
“‘Course it is, birthday boy,” You smile at him, it was intended to be sultry but became more soft and sweet than anything. His feral smirk softens and he beckons you towards him. He brings his hands up to stroke over your thighs once you stand in front of him and he takes in the sight of the ribbon delightfully contouring against your skin and how delicately it’s wrapped around your body. It perfectly frames his favourite parts of you.
It loops around your hips, dipping into the crevices where your thighs meet your groin. The red forms an intricate shape over your chest and tastefully runs directly over your nipples. It all connects in the pretty bow right at the centre of your pelvis to cover up one of his favorite spots between your legs.
“You look perfect, babe.” He leans forward and places a soft kiss, with an underlying hunger, on your belly. He pulls back just enough to look up at you with thinly veiled lust in his eyes, “Turn around, babe, I wanna see the back,” the light command sends a small surge of heat through your body as you obey.
Turning around, you see everyone else here for his party. And for his present. Scott sits in an armchair to the right with Jean sitting on the arm with her legs over his lap. Kurt sits on the floor cross-legged with his eyes trained on you with fascination. Rogue sits on an ottoman behind him, trying and failing to look indifferent to the situation. Remy sits in another armchair with his arms resting comfortably on the arms and one leg crossed over the other, looking almost like a mafia boss or something, orchestrating this whole thing with the smug look he has while watching you intently.
Hank is in a large chair, made for him with his beastly size, watching both Logan’s and your actions carefully. For one reason or another, you’re glad that the Professor had to leave on business. You don’t think you’d be able to look him in the eye if he were here to watch you and Logan like this.
Logan still sits behind you as he appreciates the work you put into wrapping yourself up for him. The ribbon runs under your ass cheeks and across your lower back to perfectly frame your ass. Along your back, rather than being jumbled awkwardly to only make the front pretty, the ribbon crisscrosses delicately.
“You know exactly what I like, huh, doll?” He asks cheekily as he brings his hands up to trace over the ribbon. He reaches where it frames your ass and grabs handfuls of your flesh to squeeze and spread to get a good glimpse of his goal. He leans in and sets a long lick over his favourite hole, slicking it up and groaning at your taste. He pulls back to slap at your ass hard enough to watch it jiggle for him.
“Mmm, fuck, baby, c’mere,” He pulls your cheeks apart again and sucks on two of his fingers to slick them up to properly stretch you for his cock. Because of the healing aspect of your mutation, your body always resets itself so you’re tight as a virgin no matter how many times you take his cock.
His fingers pushing into you has you moaning already and makes you arch your back as your arms reach back to steady yourself on his shoulders. He turns his head to place a light kiss on your wrist as he pumps his fingers in and out of you, scissoring you to open you up.
“L-Logan… Fuck…” You pant and lose yourself to the feeling until he deems you ready and pulls his fingers back. You slightly whimper at the loss, hearing the snickering from some of your friends as they see how needy you can be.
“C’mere, baby,” Logan chuckles and turns you around to face him again, “you all ready?” He asks, a smug smirk on his face with an eyebrow quirked up. You nod with a slightly whiny ‘Mhm’ as he quickly shimmies his sweats off his hips to let his cock bounce up and hit his toned stomach. Once his cock is free and ready, he slides his hands back up your thighs to reach the ribbon over your crotch.
“Time to open my present,” He smirked and places a kiss to your hip as he carefully undoes the bow. After he pulls the tail, the ribbon unravels and lets all the rest of it wrapped around your body go slack. Not wanting to waste too much time but still wanting to appreciate your gift and all the detail, he follows the direction of the ribbon to pull it all off of you.
He pays extra attention to the bits between your thighs and framing your ass, and to the intricate design on your chest. As he unravels the design, he makes sure to stroke over your nipples and even pulls you down to straddle his thighs, once your bottom half is fully free, to lick over them and tweak them. Once the whole ribbon is off, he sets it to the side, making a mental note to keep it since it’s already catered to your measurements.
From there, he slides you forward and brings his fingers to your lips to have you wet them. He bites his lip and groans at the sight of you sucking on the appendages. When he deems them wet enough he slips them out of your mouth and brings them down to his cock to wet it for your entrance.
“Fuck… Logan…” You sigh at the sight of his hand pumping his big, hard cock.
“Don’t worry, doll, you’ll be feeling this in no time.” His smirk showed off his teeth and it reminded you of the night before when he’d marked you up with bites and hickeys that had, unfortunately, already healed. Soon, he brings his fingers back to your stretched hole and slickers it up even more before he guides your hips to position over his tip.
“You gonna be good and take it all, babydoll?” He grunts out as his tip rubs over your hole and his lips pressed to your chest.
“Yes, oh god, yes..!” You call out, feeling almost tortured by his tip only rubbing over where you desperately needed him buried inside you. At your answer, he smirks and helps to lower you down on him, not stopping until your ass is fully seated on his lap.
“Fuuucck… Tight as ever, sweetheart,” He mutters to you as he wraps his arms firmly around your waist and you bury your face in his neck. You go to move your hips to ride him but he tightens his hold around your waist to keep you in place.
“Lo..?” You ask, your voice no louder than a whisper in his ear.
“Just relax, babe, I want you to keep me warm, ‘kay? Just stay like this, baby,” He noses behind your ear and places a kiss just below it. You couldn’t concentrate with his dick stretching you full, but you nodded anyhow and buried your face further in the crook of his neck.
“Summers. You said you guys got a cake?” Logan calls out to Scott as if everything is completely normal.
“Uh, yea!” The brunette says, seemingly surprised out of a stupor as he scrambles to get up. He sends a quick confused look around the room but gives a quick shrug as he jogs to the kitchen.
“Wait, so, you’re just going to… stay like that?” Kurt asks, clearly confused at the concept.
“Yup. Here’s a lesson, bub, you don’t gotta actively fuck to have this kinda intimacy. I’m guessin’ you never heard of Cock warming.” There’s a small pause of silence which you assume is Kurt shaking his head in lieu of a verbal answer, “Well, this is it. You just got your partner sittin’ on your cock. Not movin’ or anything, just sittin’ pretty and bein’ a good little cock sleeve.” He moves his hands to not be clutching you so tight and to rub over your sides and your back, keeping you comfortable and sated.
He presses kisses to your jaw and neck, leading onto your shoulder as they waited for Scott to get back.
“Ow! Shit!” You all hear a quiet hiss from the kitchen after a small ‘zap’ followed by an equally small ‘bang’. You would have giggled at what you all know just happened but the feeling of your gut tightening accentuates every part of you that’s clamping down on Logan.
“Haaappy Biiirthdaay too youu,” You can hear Scott trying sing all wobbly like he’s trying to purely focus on the cake in his hands. Everyone else joins in, though it seems awkward as many of them are still distracted by the situation of you in Logan’s lap. You try and lighten the atmosphere by weakly joining the song which does earn a chuckle from your boyfriend. Luckily, it seems you succeeded when the others start to focus on the events now going on.
Soon enough, Logan has to shift slightly to look at the cake to decide what piece he wants as is customary. You clench around him when he shifts which affects you both, coaxing a moan from you and a pleasured grunt from him. Quickly, he places a light kiss on the crook of your neck before he does back to his task of picking out his piece of cake.
You can feel him give a nod of thanks to Scott when he hands him the small plate. It seems everyone simply indulges in the rest of the party while you sit and cock warm Logan. He offers you bites of cake every so often and occasionally licks frosting off your lip. Once he’s done, his hands return to your waist and he brings you back enough to kiss you properly.
“You’re doing so good for me, sweetheart. You feel amazing,” He murmurs against your lips before he indulges again.
“Wanna be good for you. Wanna be so good for you, Lo,” You let out in a whine. You grind your hips down on his and he inhales a hiss, his hands on your hips tighten at the feeling.
“Mm, fuck, baby… Stay still for me, ‘kay? Oh, fuck, you feel so good, doll, promise…” He grunts out. His hands move to your ass and grab big handfuls of it with a squeeze to still your movements, “If you’re good for the whole party, I’ll let you cum on my cock, alright? Would you like that..?” He asks in a teasing tone as he brings one of his hands forward to stroke your sex slightly, making your intended movements falter from the shock of pleasure he just sent through you.
“Mhmm!” You nod rapidly and completely still your hips. You can’t help but clamp down on him when he continues to lightly stroke your sensitive spots.
“You’re such a good little cock sleeve, sweetheart.” He smirks and brings you forward back into his chest and nestles his head in your neck. He leaves small, teasing bites on you as a promise of what’s to come. If you’re good, that is.
— — —
𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥:
@frosch-thefrog
#cw public sex#tw public sex#cw exhibitionism#tw exhibitionism#logan x reader#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#gender neutral reader#x men x reader#marvel x reader#marvel smut#x men smut#spiderlily spells
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Ok so I have a request and it’s kinda like a self-insert..
So.. A Platonic mercs and fem!reader who wears masculine clothing and has short hair. (Like a pixie cut or half-shaved head) The mercs think she’s a boy at first. But then they find out that.. *gasp* it’s a girl! How would they react? Again, platonic please, I don’t ship myself with any of them!
- Random Anon
I LOVE THIS REQUEST SO MUCH!! the scenario for this is that you had no idea that the others think ur a boy lol....also they all found out during a group meeting or something
the mercs find out that... *gasp* you're a GIRL?!
SCOUT
- WHAT?! WHAT???! he can't believe it.... scout immediately ran up to you and drowned you in questions like "are you sure you're a girl?? are you ABSOLUTELY sure??" eventually he was peeled off of you by spy cause he was being too annoying lol. anyway this big gender reveal surprisingly doesn't change how he behaves around you he was just very dramatic when he found out
PYRO
- gasp!!! no way!! pyro is so surprised!! they all have been misgendering you this whole time and you had no idea!! :( because of this pyro feels bad... but again, it doesn't change how they feel about you at all lol. they would definitely go up to you later and apologize to you for thinking that you're a man (not like you can understand their muffled voice through the mask anyway)
SOLDIER
- stares at you like this >:O for a whole minute then shrugs it off like eh whatever. nothing changes, he's glad they got your gender right now but it's not a big deal! he's going to treat you the same... at least NOW he understands why you gave him a feminine flowerly deodorant when he asked to borrow one from you
HEAVY
- oh... well, that's interesting. he tries his best to stay calm and not look surprised but the confused expression on his face and wide eyes say otherwise. he eyes you suspiciously, but stops suspecting you pretty quickly. it's obvious that you weren't hiding anything, and they all just assumed incorrectly, so it's their fault not yours lol. he's pretty chill after that, and the way he treats you doesn't change either, maybe he's just a little bit more careful towards you
DEMOMAN
- starts shouting and is the second one to question you right after scout is peeled off of you, smh. "SINCE WHEN WERE YE A LASS???" really confused and dramatic and it takes like 10 minutes to calm him down. after that he might actually start acting nicer towards you? idk to me he just seems like he really respects women. it's not a big difference he's just more of a gentleman
ENGINEER
- bamboozled but not for long. like at first he's like scratching his head and thinking about how come no one noticed sooner. but then he shrugs it off, smiles and starts congratulating you as if you had your own gender reveal party. you're his daughter now
MEDIC
- ALWAYS knew you were a girl, he read it in your medical files, but after he noticed that most of the other mercs view you as a man, he played along. for fun. however when you said you're a girl in front of everyone he was like gasping and covering his mouth, like omg?? you're a girl?? wowww right he sure had no idea... /s
SPY
- is....very surprised, but tries to not show it. spy ran background checks on literally everyone in the base, including you, so how did he not figure out you're a girl sooner..? perhaps he was too convinced that you are a man that he didn't bother to check lol. anyways after his initial surprise he's quite indifferent but he might but he might be more wary of you from time to time. like what else could you be hiding, huh?? you're secretly the president of Czechoslovakia or something??
SNIPER
- not gonna lie bro was sleeping the entire time of the meeting....then he heard the world "girl" lol and immediately woke up, looking around in confusion. after he came to his senses he was speechless for a while, like woah... you're a girl? okay. yeah he really doesn't care and just went back to napping. like yeah, good thing that everyone knows now, but it's really not any difference to him. he might treat you more gentlemanly afterwards tho, but that's just his manners
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i think we need some more of billy being a simp for the reader. like he’s still a dick to everyone else but when it comes to the reader he’s a sweet blushy simp mess and everyone is just 👁👄👁🧍”huh?”
a/n: fr this might be my worst fic yet but i- i... oh well, i hope its okay ily anon forgive me pls i promise i tried- but i also was tired for part of it (i like to sit in my bed while half asleep and write at like 4 am sometimes) but here you go! I also kept it maybe slightly lowkey? Cause I do think Billy would be sweeter more so in private; but he can pull the charm and sweetness out in public too yk.
Length: 1.5k
Pairing: Billy x reader
Warnings: none really; slight mention of maybe apathy towards life on Billy's end, fluff if that's a warning lmao, OOC Billy probably? also Jason Carver ew
Oh, he's a Simp - B.H.
The majority of Hawkins High school population believed they had a good read of Billy Hargrove's character. He was the same with everyone; tough and a bit of a jerk- no sometimes just a straight-up asshole. Be it the tone of his voice, the way he wouldn't take people seriously, or the mischievous lit in his voice when he spoke to someone sometimes, Billy Hargrove was bad. And pretty much anyone around him who befriended him were like sheep; craving someone to follow.
But then there was you.
You were the object of his desires. The one who had taken up most of his thoughts- the good ones- and made him into some weirdly shapeable putty.
Not that shapeable though; no one could truly dictate Billy Hargrove. He wouldn't let them.
Billy leaned against the school steps railings; Tommy H and Carol stood near him with Jason Carver. All people that Billy could've really cared less about. He made 'friends' with them, but not really. When it came down to it, they just followed. And it felt nice to have that sort of power, the type where if he so much as gave Tommy a certain look, the freckled bully would heel like a dog and wait.
Stupid. He hated them.
Especially Jason Carver. And he knew that too.
The only meaningful bond he'd made since coming to Hawkins was you. So, when he saw you exit the school he visibly perked up, akin to a puppy seeing his family after they'd been out all day.
It was a bizarre sight for anyone to see. Billy Hargrove, looking at someone with such clear difference to how he looked at anyone else.
"Hey," Billy calls out to you, making you whip your head to look at him leaning on the railings.
He sounds like he usually does. Indifferent. Indifferent to people around him, to what they wanted or thought. He didn't care for them and they cared for him but only in the way of popularity. If Billy Hargrove were to die tomorrow, the only loss for these people would be someone to follow. No one would mourn him.
Maybe you would. If he did die, he hoped at least you'd mourn him.
You pivot to walk towards him, a smile dawning on your features. One that makes him almost smile in return. To everyone else, it looks like maybe his face twitched a bit, maybe a reaction to the sun or a thought he'd had. But his eyes are soft.
When you reach him, your messenger bag strap clutched in your hands, you give him a questioning look, but still smiling. Choosing to ignore the friends Billy kept around him; they'd never been nice people. And you avoided them as best you could. But you didn't avoid Billy even when he was with them.
Billy Hargrove was special. He was rough around the edges; someone who could be cruel and harsh- he could make people cower but also swoon.
He didn't scare you. He had yet to ever do a thing to you that suggested you should be scared. He had intimidated you before, how could he not? The way Billy carried himself demanded that he be respected, that he was a possible force to be reckoned with. Sometimes he still intimidated you, specifically when he was surrounded by his 'friends.'
"You need a ride home doll?"
He pulls his arm out from behind him and pulls you over to the railings, arm around your shoulder and neck almost engulfing you with his large leather jacket-clad arm.
His body was warm against yours as he held you close to his side. It was like you were made to fit in that spot.
Billy gave you special attention and affection he didn't dare offer to anyone else in the entire world. It felt nice, to have someone like Billy be this way with you.
Your relationship was a mystery to everyone around you, and even to yourself if you were being completely honest.
You weren't dating per se; you'd never spoken about being a couple and whatnot, and you weren't sure if you'd been on an actual date with him before. Did the times he took you to the diner after school count? Or the times he would sit in his car during the lunch period while you sat outside eating a sandwich count? No. No, you were pretty sure they didn't.
Whatever your relationship was with him as of right now was something that lingered in limbo; it teetered between the unknown and something very obvious and clear-cut.
Billy was always one to make it known where he stood with people. Be it with words, or with his actions (aggressive or not, depending.)
Yet with you, he found himself keeping the status of your relationship covered in shadow. It was safe. Not defining it because defining it was committing.
And commitment was scary. He wouldn't admit it aloud, but he didn't know how to handle something like that. No one had ever been committed to him, so he was never committed to anyone.
He knew how he felt for you, and it was something he had never felt for anyone before. He had been in relationships before, Billy Hargrove was no stranger to relationships and being with someone else in an intimate manner. However, what he felt for you was something more than a lust that he could deal with in a night.
Was it love? He didn't know. He just knew that you were different. And he was different with you.
"It's okay," you respond to his offer, looking at him through your lashes, his cologne invading your senses when you turned your head to look up at him, "I actually was going to be staying after school to work on a project in the library... I just needed to use the payphone to call home and let my family know."
The library and Billy Hargrove didn't mix. But you and him, they mixed. They mixed well.
Carol and Tommy shared a look at the way Billy was interacting with you.
It was as if no one else existed around him when you had walked out the school doors. It was as if the bad mood he had been in (Tommy couldn't figure out why, but it was mainly Jason's fault, that's all he knew- anytime he'd try to broach the topic, Billy's claws threatened to peak out) had dissipated, or at least it had simmered at the sight of you. And his shoulder muscles seemed to ease a fraction, and his face, while it still looked indifferent, had warmed if only slightly.
It was small. But it was obvious to them. And everyone else.
"I'll stick around with you," he said after he took a deep breath in, getting ready to push himself off of his position against the railing, "can't have you sitting like a loser in the library on your own. Or trying to walk home in the dark."
"My dad could come get me you know," you roll your eyes but secretly you're happy, happy that he wants to stay with you. The library was boring, and albeit Billy wouldn't dare step foot inside the library on any occasion whatsoever, you made it different.
Bearable even.
He also knew he could convince you to leave within the first hour of being there. So it wasn't all bad.
"Scared of driving with me?"
"Sure," you jokingly say, pulling away slowly, "one day when you crash that pretty car cause you're driving way too fast it won't be funny anymore."
"Yeah, 'cause that's gonna happen."
It could, it was just a matter of if he cared if it did or not. That car was precious, the person inside? He wasn't so sure.
"Fine, you can stay," you were glad he was staying, you enjoyed being near this man, "but you can't talk or distract me."
"Never."
"Seriously Hargrove?" Jason Carver opens his big mouth. One that Billy could slap if he so desired, "You're going to the library, with this..."
"Go ahead," Billy had immediately changed in demeanor, fully pulling himself away from you and situating himself a foot in front of you as if he were protecting a baby doe, "finish the sentence shithead."
For everything, Jason wasn't someone who could even fight back against Billy, just like everyone else. Unless he really wanted to have a bloody nose, he would keep his mouth shut.
"...Whatever."
Tommy and Carol, for all their stupidity at times or rude comments and bullying of others, at least knew in those moments to be quiet. As weird as it was to see Billy so easily enraptured by someone, it had been this way since he met you. And nothing would change it.
"I'll see you in the library babe," how can he just call you that so casually; it makes your stomach flutter.
"Okay," you linger for a moment as if something else might happen. But it doesn't, and that's okay.
Because right now, your relationship is still trying to find its ground. It's still trying to see where it stands, and Billy Hargrove is still trying to figure it out himself.
All he knows is that he's a fool for you, and he doesn't hate that. He doesn't hate it at all.
#billy hargrove x reader#billy hargrove#billy hargrove imagine#stranger things#stranger things imagine#stranger things fanfiction#my writing#amy writes#oof not a good one forgive me#1k
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Ok but I’ll never understand why so many ppl portray Jack as the head over heels pining mess and Ralph as the one who doesn’t care and just rolls his eyes like HUHHH
Ralph was throughout the entire book fond of Jack, the idea of Jack hating him genuinely shocked him and made him upset (and Jack was already pretty off the rails at that point). When Jack left the group Ralph was so distraught, trying to convince himself Jack would come back eventually. Even at the very end he still wanted to save him (and everyone else).
Ralph admires Jack, he likes him and enjoys his company, making it hurt more when Jack starts hating him. (like that “why do you hate me?” line)
They both wanted the others approval, but it was Jack who towards the end started to see Ralph as just an obstacle for full control. Which is why it surprises me that so many people think of Ralph as being the one who is indifferent and dismissive
#lord of the flies#lotf#lotf fandom#lotf ralph#lotf jack#lotf jalph#jalph#idk if I’m explaining this right#little disheveled#so bare with me lol#sorry don’t want this to come off as mean#pls feel free to interpret them however u like :)
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heaven sent — 06. art museum
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“Okay, I thought I was out of place at the ice skating rink. But this is considerably worse.” You crossed your arms over your chest, standing outside of the art museum that loomed over you.
“Don’t be such a party pooper, I’ll be an excellent tour guide.”
“We literally know nothing about art.”
“Not we,” she wagged her finger in your face with an annoying grin. “You know nothing about it.”
You scoffed, “Tell me one interesting art fact.”
“I know that there’s a guy named Picasso. He cut off his ear.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s Vincent Van Gogh.”
“Close enough,” she quipped indifferently. “Come on.”
Danielle dragged you inside. You flinched when she intertwined her fingers with yours.
“What are you doing?” You hissed, trying to pull away.
“Stop it,” she whispered. “There's a discount on the entry fee for couples, so act natural, babe.”
She emphasized the last part as the two of you neared the admission desk. Of course, you paid, and the two of you made your way into the exhibition.
“The guy at the desk didn’t even look at us twice,” you rolled your eyes. “I don’t think they care.”
“Well it worked,” she smiled proudly. “And you’re still holding my hand. I think you secretly like it.”
Blushing, you hastily tried to let go, but she only giggled in response and held your hand tighter, pulling you to the first artwork.
It was a blank canvas, with a blob of blue paint smack dab in the middle.
“Amazing,” you said, devoid of emotion. “This one really speaks to me.”
Danielle cleared her throat, and adjusted her glasses.
“This piece right here,” she took on a posh voice as she straightened her posture. “Is quite an exquisite piece. Made in the Baroque period by painter Jean DeJean.”
You tried to hold back a snicker.
“Jean DeJean?”
“Yes,” she nodded seriously. “An artist ahead of his time. This artwork in particular conveys his sense of isolation, the blue representing sadness and the single dot representing himself.”
“Wow,” you said in pretend awe. “I love the symbolism.”
“We’ll move on to the next piece now.” She gestured towards the next artwork. “Follow me, ma’am.”
You coughed back laughter as she strutted boldly in front of you. Surprisingly, she kept up the facade for a while, truly living up to her name as an excellent tour guide. You couldn’t help but laugh at her nonsensical explanations and pretentious acting.
And despite your initial reluctance, you found yourself enjoying your time. You caught yourself looking at her instead of the artwork more times than you’d like to admit. It was then that you knew it was over for you.
“So,” Danielle said, munching on your fries as you drove back to the apartment. “I’m a pretty good art museum tour guide, right?”
“Sure,” you answered playfully, eating a fry that she fed to you. “You should apply there. I’m sure everyone else would love to hear about Jean DeJean.”
She threw a fry at your face in response (“You just wasted a fry!”).
“I’m guessing you didn’t like art back in high school?”
You chuckled at the thought of your grades for art back then. “God, no. I cannot be artistic to save my life.”
“You can’t be worse than Jean DeJean,” she joked.
“I remember being so insecure of my pottery skills that I purposefully left a big air pocket in my clay figure. It exploded in the kiln and destroyed everyone else’s. My classmates were devastated.”
“Never mind,” she grimaced. “What subjects were you good at, then?”
“English. Guess I have a way with words.”
“That makes sense. Seeing that you do law now.”
“Yeah.” You paused. “Music, too.”
“I do remember seeing a keyboard in your room.”
“But that’s a story for another day.” You slightly smirked, mimicking Danielle’s words from the other day, “Ask me again tomorrow.”
She narrowed her eyes at you, still curious, but didn’t push it any further and focused back on the moving scenery outside.
“Honestly, today was a bit of a last minute thing.” You could see her peek at you out of the corner of your eye. “Did you enjoy it, though?”
You smiled. “Aren’t you tired of asking everyday?”
“Never,” she answered earnestly. “I always want to know.”
Your attempt to fight off a blush was futile. “Today was good. Like always.”
“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” She teased.
Yeah, it is.
“You wish,” you rolled your eyes. “…Are you down for movie night later?”
She bit her cheek, clearly hesitant to respond.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to spend more time with me,” you rushed out awkwardly, hands tightly clutching the steering wheel. “I forget that this is your job.”
“No,” she hastily reassured you. “It’s not that. I love spending time with you.”
“Really?”
“I do. It’s just that…” she trailed off, then shook her head and smiled. “Nothing. Let’s watch Frozen.”
“Out of all movies, you choose Frozen.”
She turned down the radio and started to loudly sing Let It Go.
She has a nice voice. Maybe it’s another ‘messenger of God’ thing.
“Enough,” you groaned, resting your head on the steering wheel at a red light. “Save it for later.”
Later, the two of you lay on your bed, your laptop on your lap, as you pressed play. You didn’t know if it was the warmth radiating off Danielle, or if it was the way she was playing with your hair, but you fell asleep 30 minutes into the movie.
You got up in the middle of the night to find her already gone. You could still smell hints of her entangled in the sheets, a mixture of strawberries and vanilla. You always thought the bed had always felt so small, but tonight it had never felt emptier.
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Linked Universe Winged Au Headcanons: Preening
In honor of reaching the halfway point of drawing everyone for the Winged Au series, and because my friend @breannasfluff asked me about the preening habits of all the Links, enjoy!
Time - Time is pretty average when it comes to preening. He's capable of doing a decent job for both himself (though his right wing is worse off due to his missing eye on that side) and he is willing to lend a hand to anyone who asks. However, many of the other Links use his general indifference as a scapegoat when someone else (primarily Sky or Legend) try to pin them down to preen. Imagine the classic trope of hiding behind your Dad's legs to escape a sibling's wrath. It's that kind of concept, except the others tend to hide under his wings. But everyone knows that if their target manages to escape to Time, than any further effort is futile and usually give up in their pursuit for the time being (pun intended). However, while Time does indulge this sort of behavior, he will still gently preen a couple particularly bad feathers he sees as payment for his services as a meat shield.
Twilight - Twilight is very similar to his Dad- I mean Time in the way that he's pretty neutral towards the whole preening idea. He does it enough to make sure he looks decent and to prevent any issues but otherwise isn't really bothered if he looks a bit messy. However, what makes him different from Time is that he is an older brother first and foremost and WILL without hesitation throw his brothers under the bus and help wrangle and pin down any would be escapees. He finds great satisfaction in catching his fellow brothers and laughing as he listens to their loud complaints and arguing. At least until they set their sights on him.
Sky - Sky LOVES preening and being preened in return! This man has got it down to a SCIENCE and he has the skills to make even the prickliest or most stoic of Links want and accept his help. He did afterall, grow up with a loftwing by his side to teach him all the tricks and secrets of the trade. Because of this, preening is one of his primary ways of showing he cares and is his way of bonding with others. He finds it to be very comforting and relaxing to both do and receive. Preening helps calm his mind because it keeps his hands and thoughts preoccupied with other matters. The others are aware of this, so if they notice he's particularly stressed they oftentimes will sit themselves down in front of him as an invitation for him to preen them. When he is the one being preened he tends to fall asleep almost immediately.
Warriors - While Sky and Legend are the ones most likely to (sometimes forcefully) preen the other Links, I believe that Warriors is the most picky about his preening and overall appearance and cleanliness. However, this is not just because of the whole stereotypical "pretty boy" trope people tend to shove him into, but because of his history as a soldier and commander in the army. I headcanon that Warriors has had a lot of experience in field medicine and as a result, has seen what happens to soldiers who aren't careful and who let infection sink in. Because of this, he tends to be very particular about making sure that his feathers are preened just right and therefore usually just does it himself. However, if any of his brothers are injured or hurt in any way then his overprotective mother hen instincts kick and he kind of obsessively preens whoever is hurt because like said, he's seen what can happen to those who aren't properly taken care of.
Legend - Legend, as stated earlier, will not hesitate to wrangle his fellow brothers for his oftentimes very aggressive preening sessions. However, while he is very adamant about helping maintain the cleanliness of his brothers to the point of using sheer force to do so, he gets VERY defensive when others try to preen him in return. His Uncle and Marin both used to preen him all the time when he was younger so now the idea of others doing the same for him brings up unpleasant memories. He'll never admit it, but he really only likes it when Sky, Time, or Hyrule do it for him, although he has made exceptions for Fable and Ravio in the past. And yes, his feathers ARE as soft as a bunny and yes the others DO like to tease him for it and actively try to touch them despite his protests.
Hyrule - Hyrule is an absolute walking disaster in terms of preening. In his defense though, he does live in a fallen Hyrule and he didn't really have anyone who could teach him how so he just kind of...didn't. He'd pull out a couple broken feathers every now and then but otherwise preferred to walk everywhere anyways. After joining the gang however, Hyrule has had plenty of brothers to help teach him by both showing him how and letting him practice on them. While there was a lot of trial and error and a fair share of squawking and cursing from his victims, he's gotten a lot better at it and his wings are improving bit by bit everyday! Though he does still have a habit of hiding behind Time at times because, "having a little dirt is actually very healthy for you and no I don't need to be preened thank you very much." Some habits die hard I guess.
Wild - Speaking of dying hard, Wild is actually pretty good about preening despite dying and losing the vast majority of his memories! Afterall, some instinctual habits are never forgotten. However, even though he is TECHNICALLY good at preening, he does tend to get in situations immediately after that ruin his or others hard work. He's kind of like that dog who after you just finish giving them a bath they immediately go and run in the mud. So while he is consistent with preening at least once a day, he has a habit of immediately fighting monsters, climbing trees, or whatever and then complaining that he doesn't need to preen again because, "He already did it earlier!"
Four - Four is kind of a combination of Warriors and Legend when it comes to preening. He's very independent and meticulous when it comes to his wings, but he will tolerate it if someone else really wants to preen him. He's just used to the routine of having four brothers all sitting in a circle preening each other so having others want to do it for him now feels...off. All of his "colors" share this same sentiment so that's why he often unintentionally and silently comes across as unapproachable when it comes to preening. It just reminds him of how much he wishes he could split again and of the guilt he feels of keeping his other selves a secret from the rest of the group. However, in the rare occasion that he DOES help someone preen, he is very focused and diligent about it to the point where the others joke that he looks at their wings the same way he looks at the weapons he forges.
Wind - Last but not least is Wind! And boy is he kind of a classic teenager when it comes to preening. He is by far the most difficult Link to force to settle down because he just wants to move! He wants to fly! He wants to feel the sea breeze ruffle his feathers! And he insists that he's got better things to do then sit around and preen his feathers that are just going to get messed up anyways. Because of this, he is often a victim of both Twilight's wrestling and Legend's creative cursing. However, the secret to getting Wind to settle down for preening is to actually ask HIM for help. Sky in particular is a master of manipulation with this tactic, and often asks Wind for help with preening and then turns around and says, "Well because you're helping me it's only fair if I help you in return!" This works because despite being the youngest Link in the group, Wind is still very much an older brother who is heavily accustomed to looking out for both his little sister and grandma, so playing towards those big brother instincts are the key to getting him preened.
#winged au#LUWAU#Linked Universe: Winged AU#linkeduniverse#linked universe#legend of zelda#loz link#loz#lu time#lu twilight#lu sky#lu warriors#lu legend#lu hyrule#lu wild#lu four#lu wind#I have put far too much thought into this#I would once again like to thank @breannasfluff for surviving my word vomit#I just have a lot of emotions and preening is such an underrated concept in winged aus#I am in fact very passionate about this
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