#being an adult is hard and exhausting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aceofshitposts · 6 months

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i've basically been thinking about this post about how if you mention being aro/ace in therapy that most therapists will treat that as something to fix non stop since i first saw it so fuck it we're talking about my experience with aromanticism and asexuality (and, honestly, borderline personality disorder as an extension of that)

so if you've been here for any amount of time you've probably figured out i love romance. i love shipping characters, i love writing romance, i love happy endings. and that's been pretty consistent my whole life but

i never really felt those things for myself. i used to like think of boys in my class and try and figure out if my distaste for them was actually a crush or what have you lmao however this wasn't really a problem until i started having my friends in highschool start telling me i must've had a crush on a friend because i'd get so happy to talk to him.

i had no idea what a crush was supposed to be like so surely my friends knew better than me?

and so this went several times over the years with my friends telling me i *must* have a crush when i didn't think i did. but nobody ever believes you when you claim to not have romantic feelings for anyone and i didn't trust my own feelings enough to stand up for myself. i kept thinking i wasn't trying hard enough and berate myself for being unable to act normal in a relationship.

it took a long long time to realize i don't want a romantic relationship. but with that comes its own set of problems because i don't want to be alone either.

i spent a good chunk of my life dreaming of yknow that one person who is supposed to love you through thick and thin and to suddenly realize that's never going to happen to you is... rough. and it's hard to get people to understand without them telling you to just try harder.

i feel like it's like telling someone who's trans that they just weren't trying hard enough to be their assigned gender. it's not a matter of trying hard enough it's just not how you feel. i may act in a way some people might perceive as romantic but that's just not how i feel about it. i wish i did. i desperately want to be able to feel romantic love myself and yet it is just out of reach for me. so i live vicariously through fanfiction.

and like, i know queer platonic relationships exist but they're hard to find. and i am trying, mind you, i haven't given up but it's just. tough.

and then there's the bpd which adds a whole other aspect of bullshit to all of this because

i'm constantly angry and jealous and prone to break downs and shutting off my emotions entirely depending. i'm angry at myself all the time for failing to meet my own made up parameters of "being normal"; i get jealous when i realize other people have these close relationships that i feel like i'll never get and then i'll just. turn off my feelings for people at the drop of a hat if i feel threatened in any way.

which is. no way to live and yet here we are. i don't blame anyone for not wanting to be around me because of all this and like. at the same time i'm not mad directly at anyone for their decisions or anything.

i just have a lot of emotions and it's difficult to drown them out to a bearable level without shutting down completely. and nobody wants to deal with me when i'm angry which is like fair but at the same time i always end up feeling like i'm not allowed to feel those things. i keep hearing about validating your feelings but then in therapy i'm supposed to use techniques to distract myself and stop myself from being angry but it always seems to be i'm supposed to forget about whatever triggered me.

just grin and bare it until the grinning is your default i guess.

and there's this whole other level of because my emotions are largely negative that everything is my fault. that if i snap it's a problem with me, i have to apologize for my outbursts and be the one who does better going forward. and like- that's fine. i'm fine taking responsibility for my actions but there's been times where i am just trying to express that i have feelings and get told to calm down or end up having to comfort the other person because they think i'm attacking them.

anyway. it's not like i expect anyone here to have solutions or anything. and like i said this isn't like... me being mad at anyone in particular it's just a lot of things i have experienced over my entire life. one of the things i know does help me is putting my thoughts out into the world. helps me feel like they're real rather than just having them bounce around in my head like the dvd logo lol

#astrix thoughts #long post so i put it under a cut lol #being an adult is hard and exhausting

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liminalspacewizard · 1 year

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#executive dysfunction #meme #word art #word art meme #funny #being an adult is exhausting #being an adult is hard #inspiration #inspirational #hello kitty #motivation #motivational #adhd #tw bright colours #tw bright colors

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goodfellowe · 1 year

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Each string was a life, each strand sectioning off into a what if, a splitting cable that led to endless possibilities. Different lives in different worlds. Better lives in better worlds.

The Way Time Twists (AO3)

Chapter 18: Kid

The strings pull. The strings snag.

The sun warmed her closed eyelids, tinting everything in a hazy, muted glow. She could hear the faint squalls of seagulls, the distant chatter of voices she didn’t recognize, and the waves crashing into the sea from what felt like a hundred miles away. Save for the smell of metal, faint underneath the sea salt in the air and the terrible rot wafting out from the dumpsters, everything was fine. She blinked open her eyes, slowly sitting up and taking in her surroundings. She recognized it. All of it. It was Mafia Town. It was... Mafia Town? But you’ve never been here before- a thought, murmured by an uncomfortably familiar voice, wormed its way into the forefront of her mind, unbidden. This is your first time away from home.

Chapter 19: The Way Time Twists

Kid's memories blur and blend together, but they're not just hers this time. (But they are, aren't they?)

Art by @nakakabaliw.

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itspileofgoodthings · 11 months

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#but actually can you guys say a prayer about teaching for me?#I know it’s mostly because it’s the end of the year #but a lot of stuff is just forcing its way to the surface #and basically it’s just me struggling with my natural strengths as a teacher and the boundaries of appropriateness that are necessary #to maintain it #like first of all. the beast that is my anxiety compounds everything and makes it so scary and terrible #secondly I thought I had. Like. A total handle on all of it #Teaching and boundaries I mean #and of course I do not #and part of it is that the anxiety that always kept me within the right lines is just shifting and changing #and I’m just distanced from some of the stuff that used to keep me grounded #like my family right now!#the new adulthood is adulting!#anyway like. I am not doing anything inappropriate or close to it (sounds like I am when I deny it lol)#but I am aware in a new and newly exhausted way of the absolute dangers #of being the kind of teacher who uses all of my personality etc. to wake kids up #And make them respond #but then still have to want to need to keep certain boundaries up #And I’m trying to figure it out but of course I CAN’t Do it perfectly #and then it’s so hard when your personal life is so hard and you’ve just gone through so much change in such a fast period of time #And it just feels like everything is spinning #and your heart aches and you’re tired and you just feel like you’re right at the center of all this emotional chaos #and all these people who wanna pull you off course and get you to cross certain lines #and some of the lines are just weird and arbitrary boundaries you put up to protect yourself when you started teaching at 23 #Because you HAD to #So you can take some of them down and it’s fine but then there are some boundaries you know you need to keep up #And it’s more subtle than the black and white stuff re: appropriateness #Just the stuff that protects you and makes it easier to be the kind of teacher and influence that you want to be #and just trying to figure it all out while you’re exhausted and it’s the end of the school year #it’s just a LOT. A lot a lot

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isesalterego · 5 months

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Lessons in Chemistry Ep. 4 (2023)

#lessons in chemistry #adulthood #being an adult is hard #being an adult is exhausting #apple tv #adult life #adulting

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1ntrvrt-shdw · 1 year

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im failing at everything

#dear diary #daily diary #my diary #random thoughts #my blog #my thoughts #thoughts #student blog #alone with my thoughts #ramblings #guide on how to act like an adult #being an adult is exhausting #being an adult is hard #guide on how to act like a human being for one #anxiety #social anxiety #deppressed #i hate everything

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 8 months

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being sick as an adult sucks. wdym my mom won’t just automatically make sure I eat food instead of exclusively drinking Gatorade all day. wdym I have to ask my roommates to make me dinner. I have to Venmo a friend money to buy me more Gatorade?? I can’t focus enough to do homework??? I hate this.

#this is a silly haha humor post but in all seriousness.#COVID rly is just making me stare all the internalized ableism in the eye #yes worth isnt defined by productivity and disability and the idea of being a burden is part of being human and isn’t shameful at all #until I have to minorly inconvenience people to meet my basic needs #I really want to eat dinner but that would require asking my roommates to make me dinner which is just. 5 kinda of mortifying.#even though if someone I knew was sick I would not be upset about making them food! sick people need to eat!#my parents ordered me chipotle yesterday bc they were so concerned bc of how I sounded over the phone #and my friend went out and bought me juice and Gatorade and popsicles and took me to the doctor #the support system Exists I just feel bad about having to use it T-T #I just want to be hugged and read to and reminded to eat food but I am an adult now and not at home #lonely TT-TT #it’ll be okay I’m probably just emotional bc I’m sick and hungry #I also just am struggling so hard because I want to catch up on my classwork Right Now #but I can get through maybe one assignment before I’m too exhausted to keep sitting up #and I have to lay down and close my eyes and sleep or do a light activity like playing candy crush for the fifty bazillionth time #I’ve gotten through like. 100 levels this week.#I’m losing my dang marbles. I am gonna be so behind in ASL Susan is gonna be so disappointed in me #I feel like I have all this energy when I’m laying down bored but as soon as I sit up I feel like I’m floating and about to fall over #so. so tired. why can’t I be healthy already and do homework T-T.#I’m choosing to take this as a lesson to slow down and not overwork myself so hard. instead of being mad at myself for getting behind.#<- is trying and failing not to be mad at herself for getting behind

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extemporaneousrabbithole · 1 year

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i have so many ideas for things i want to accomplish and concepts i think will work to aid me in doing these things. i’ll be so confident and ready and then suddenly one thing in my brain will trip me up and now i’m having an existential crisis and wondering why and how i’m still alive. humaning is weird.

#mental illness #bipolar diaries #life is hard #i really am trying #my wife is probably annoyed with me #i’m definitely not crying #my wife is honestly super sweet #i miss being a child #young adulting is hard #young husband #black tumblr #still standing #rabbit hole #i have to do better #humaning should be a word #i’m going to keep making tags #i’m so exhausted #i have to work tomorrow #i’m going to be okay

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liminalspacewizard · 1 year

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#executive dysfunction #meme #word art #word art meme #funny #being an adult is exhausting #being an adult is hard #inspiration #inspirational #hello kitty #motivation #motivational #adhd #tw bright colors

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pilotstreets · 1 year

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god. not to be sad online. but im sad online

#um. sorry i went on a really really long rant abt my emotions in the tags. hehehoho im sad!#im just like. there's no way im getting older. i feel like i haven't changed since i was 14 and i feel so disconnected from everything #my birthday is in like 3 weeks but i keep thinking im turning 15 or 16 again and i'll be able to live my teenage years again and #do it right this time or something but no! that's not how that works! obviously!#when my best friend turned 18 she immediately started saying ''im an adult im different im older'' but like #i think about how i'll be 18 soon and im just scared and im going to be holding onto teenage years and #fantasies about them that will never happen and it's just exhausting #i know i sound like such a dramatic teenager but i AM a dramatic teenager!#i had so much shit happen to me that made me lose out on so much of being a teenager and it's like #crushing that i'll never get those years back and other peoples choices ruined my life before i had a chance to have much of one #and i've missed out on so many experiences that all my friends got and i feel such a barrier between me and other people #for that reason and i also feel a disconnect between me and literally everybody i know #and making friends is literally impossible for me anymore and i just feel like i keep losing friends and one day i'll wake up and #i won't have anyone anymore. and i find it hard to talk to people who were my best friends for awhile and i just fall deeper into this #pit of loneliness every day and there's nothing i can do so i just give up. i dunno #im so tired and im just so so lonely and done with. existing #and im also never anybody's first choice which is always annoying but #and it's just.... heartbreaking to think about how my best friend will never choose me when her other best friend is there and #how when we all hang out they're both actually mean to me and there's just nothing i can do other than text my mom and cry #and it makes me doubt how much she cares if she gets that way so easily y'know?#ugh it's all juvenile problems but they just weigh so heavily on me :/#okay enough oversharing online for the night im going to sleep now. then tomorrow i'll just #have the same thoughts and it'll only get worse

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ask-darling-xoxo · 1 year

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Sometimes I hate being an adult. I never realized how exhausting it was. I was always so excited to become an adult and now that I am one, I wish I had enjoyed being a kid a little bit more.

It really does make me savor every bit of free time I have because I’m either working, running errands, or worrying about something and even with my free time it’s spent sleeping half the day. It makes me feel so dead inside; Every day feels the same and I can’t seem to escape the endless cycle that is being an adult.

I miss the free time I had where I could write for hours on my blog, answer questions, rp with friends, do requests, draw and paint and now I just can’t seem to find the time.

How do you do it?? How do you become better at adulting? Because at 19 years old, my current age, it just seems like I’m physically incapable of doing it. I have no hope for myself that I am going to be able to take care of myself when my mother passes away and I am forced to live on my own.

#struggle #darling xoxo blog #personal vent #darling is venting #adulting #being an adult is hard #being an adult is exhausting #i hate being an adult #I wish I was a kid again

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helennorvilles · 10 months

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#its tuesday of week 1 of the term and i am already feeling SO exhausted and SO stressed about every element of my life #and i knowwww that i am kinda catastrophising the actual expectations on me just bc im so tired and. like. Me.#and bc so much of this is new experiences so ofc it's going to involving learning and making mistakes and suffering and blah blah blah #but still. being an adult is so hard. teaching this class is soooo hard #and all this suffering to only be a casual employee......... fucking lame guys #kinda feel like im being exploited to an extent but this school is going to give me the best fucking reference i am putting that out there #and the universe is going to listen to me and provide that pls #my post tag

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capricorn-witchbitch · 1 year

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"You look like you're doing well!"

Thanks, just losing weight from stress, permanent eye bags and being so exhausted I feel half dead from trying so hard for the past 4 months. Lovin' life yo

#chronic exhaustion #adhd things #adhd problems #insomnia #tired of being tired #tired #adult adhd #student life #feel like shit #tired of trying #life is hard #sorry for complaining #chronic illness

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llycaons · 2 years

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I was always bad at dressing up but I always loved the spectacle and drama and playful scariness of halloween and the feeling of the season agh next year I WILL watch more halloween movies and I WILL rewatch otgw and I WILL go home again for the famous haunted house and I WILL play spooky music and I WILL make some treats

#this year...idk I just wasn't feeling it #very sad.#but I guess I didn't try very hard either #edit: why did I tag this as clj lb #anyway being a single adult is fucking exhausting #you're completely responsible for every aspect of yourself #we weren't meant to live like this #it makes everything fun such a drag #I don;t go on here at all hours of the day because I like it I go because it's the easier way for me to have fun with th least #amount of time and effort involved #cor.txt

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causalitylinked · 2 years

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( in case it wasn’t already made obvious by my rules... if you follow me first, i expect you to either )

have an idea of which muse(s) you wanna interact with

at least engage with my posts, whether it be liking or commenting on my edits/headcanons, ESPECIALLY if you only followed to read my content

be willing enough to make the first move

fill out my interest checker. OTHERWISE, i might never approach you, because i don’t know who out of all my muses you want to write with

#█ ▓『 ✦ ⸂ •• OUT OF SPOONS — ⧼ livi please shut up. ⧽ 』#█ ▓『 ✦ ⸂ •• PSA — ⧼ say it louder for the people in the back. ⧽ 』#█ ▓『 ✦ ⸂ •• QUEUED — ⧼ because livi is a busy adult irl. ⧽ 』#[ likewise if i follow you first... I WILL INTEND TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE ]#[ but on the off chance you drop threads/ignore asks/never follow up on starters or even meet me halfway by interacting with me back ]#[ then i'll just unfollow because i'm sick of unconditionally engaging with mutuals only to get shit in return ]#[ like...]#[ AFTER A CERTAIN WHILE it gets very exhausting ]#[ ofc if we already talk ooc/are friends then that's different ]#[ SO ON THE OFF CHANCE YOU'RE READING THIS SOMA... you're not gonna getting axed don't worry ]#[ but yeah from now on... i'm deciding to put my foot down ]#[ cause being treated like a number to somebody's follower count REALLY makes me feel gross/unwanted in general ]#[ and i'm saying this as someone who hardly ever gets a lot of asks/interactions despite often trying twice as hard ]#[ than the average flaky rper to actually get active threads going ]

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tiredrobin · 3 months

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coworker who lives at mad at me island threw a mini tantrum this morning (literally threw) (lol. lmao) but didnt give me a reason why until right before i was leaving (the reason was something i didnt know was a thing) n im sitting here like ohhhhh we're communicating like high schoolers now. i see. otay <3

#robin rambles #hashtag girl #at this point i just think its funny like what is going on with u #if ur not gonna communicate w me im not gonna entertain whatever this is #like she coulda seriously been like 'hey robin this is a thing now'#n i woulda been like 'oh otay i didnt know. got it boss'#like girl when i said i was gonna make an active effort not to take everything u say negatively like i was i meant it! ive been putting in #the effort!#to what end tho like now shes always just annoyed w me #bein like hey sorry i was misinterpreting ur behaviors n thats on me n ill work on not assuming ur being hostile #only for every other interaction to become like. subtly hostile in that shes annoyed w me or impatient w me or whatever #like bro. what da hell am i supposed to do. smh #unfortunately i cannot apologize for smth idk anything abt. u gotta use ur words!!!#i thot u were an adult!!!#straight up tho i am trying to b patient n whatever abt all this cuz like idk whats goin on w her idk whats up #mayb my og apology had felt disingenuous or was somehow triggering i #*or something. like it cld b anything #it just gets emotionally a lil exhausting when idk the problem and im trying so so hard to maintain my reactions n keep calm #this whole thing just makes me anxious all the time. i try to tell myself it isnt bothering me but not knowing why any of this is actually l #happening is like. stressful #n frankly at this point i think im allowed to react plainly or blankly or with mild annoyance cuz thats literally all im getting from her #we say good morning all cool and sometimes she makes a joke but its like overall my existence is just annoying to her or smth cuz she barely #even bothers trying to look me in the eye #like. man. what da hell goin on

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