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remythologise · 3 years

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I don't have twitter and I'm seeing posts but a lot of them involve knowing what I'm looking at...can you pls explain the latest spn/Jensen news, pretty please?

Sure! Explanation of the events of the past week (some of these dates might be relative to my timezone, apologies for any errors):

JUNE 24: News breaks that Jensen Ackles and Danneel Ackles’ production company has a prequel in the works focusing on John and Mary Winchester; entire fandom displeased

Fandom ire at the prequel focusing on John and Mary momentarily overshadows the fact that it seems like Jensen Ackles has the rights to Supernatural (!!!) and has ‘five shows in the works’ of which this is only the first

Showrunner is Destiel fan-favourite Robbie Thompson, responsible for such Absolute Banger Episodes as ‘Meta Fiction’ (see more here)

A lot of blowback from absolutely all sides of the fandom - BiBros et al mad that it focuses on Not The Brothers, Destiel fans mad it focuses on Not Resolving Destiel, everyone largely mad it focuses on John Winchester (widely regarded as abusive) and the ‘epic love story’ of John/Mary (canonically forced by cupid magic)

Various cast members including Misha Collins, Jim Beaver, Jake Abel, Ruth Connell and Julie McNiven reply to the article with comments indicating they’d like to be involved

Eric Kripke tweets that Jensen and Danneel are ‘the perfect people’ to take control of this story and Jared is ‘too busy Texas Rangering’ to be involved

JUNE 25: Jared Padalecki tweets about being left out of the loop on the prequel; absolute chaos ensues

See this ask reply for a list of tweets, events and reactions

I’ll also add that this gets large enough to get coverage on Vulture, Variety and other news sources

Robbie Thompson retweets his tweet from 2019 saying ‘I ❤️ you #SPNFamily’ in response to… everything

JUNE 26: A scramble for Jensen, Jared and Eric Kripke to do PR damage control on the Jared issue. Meanwhile, Misha Collins does his best impression of this scene from the Lion King to promote GISH

Eric later deletes all tweets about the issue, which is VERY funny. Man can’t handle the heat!

Very funny contrast between Jared’s ‘have a talk, as we often do’ and Jensen’s ‘miss these talks'

Jensen later changes his twitter header and bio from Supernatural/Dean Winchester to The Boys/Soldier Boys which IS somewhat unfortunate and perhaps deliberate break-up related timing

Jared tweets that he ‘doesn’t want anyone to receive hate or threats’ which is like… Jared YOU started this, YOU tweeted this to your millions of followers

JUNE 26: Jensen Ackles does further damage control by tweeting ‘Canon? we got you’ and linking to this article about what the show might hold, which points out the Problems of John Winchester

See article for further details but this implies Jensen actually does care a lot about doing right by the fans and the narrative canon

This, combined with the fact Robbie Thompson is running it, convinces most Destiel-side fans that the show Might Be Better Than Expected and one CW-approved stepping stone to greater things

BiBros are furious because article is written by ‘known Heller’ Natalie Fisher, who is friends with writers such as Meredith Glynn and Robert Berens

Meanwhile, Steve Yockey references the ‘Steve Yockey is dead?!?’ tumblr meme on twitter in a reply to Ruth Connell

JUNE 27: Gen Padalecki posts an instagram story which may or may not be shady commentary on Jensen Ackles

However, yesterday Danneel Ackles also promotes the Padalecki MLM product on HER instagram - can I just say I simply love the use of a) product promotion and b) instagram stories as tools of warfare and diplomacy

JUNE 28: Various scripts drop thanks to the team at tumblr’s spnscripthunt (go support and fund their efforts if you can!)

Notable changed content includes Castiel telling Dean to ‘parent’ Jack in 14.16 and Castiel texting emojis to Claire in 12.16 (possibly an in-script joke about Dean being attracted to a poodle?)

JUNE 29: News breaks that Chaos Machine Productions was started as ‘Free Will Entertainment LLC’

The name was apparently changed in October 2020 - was that as a result of the 15.19-15.20 filming? Or something else?

The idea that Jensen set up a company called ‘Free Will Entertainment’ to continue telling the story of Supernatural is honestly BONKERS. A lot to unpack here to do with the textual and metatextual narrative of Supernatural that I don’t have time to get into, since there’s about twenty wild implications that could be speculated from that name alone

Stock price on ‘Jackles’ Sexy Silence’, conspiracy that Jensen didn’t like the ending of Supernatural and was quietly plotting to take the narrative under his own control, to bring Dean back to life and possibly to canonise Destiel, reaches historic high

The fact does not go unnoticed that, through coincidence or not, Jensen and Danneel registered the company on a Thursday very close to September 18, the Lazarus Rising/Castiel Anniversary Date when Dean was saved from Hell

JUNE 30: Misha Collins makes a social media post with Castiel art for the last day of Pride Month

Twitter post liked by Robbie Thompson

On his instagram, Misha also puts music on the story of ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love With You’ a song made famous by Elvis and then subsequently Destiel AU Fanfic Twist and Shout

“The song was initially written from the perspective of a woman as “Can’t Help Falling in Love with Him”, which explains the first and third line ending on “in” and “sin” rather than words rhyming with “you” - Wikipedia knowledge obtained via @jurisffiction

Falling… sin… But we don’t have time to unpack all of that-

JUNE 30: 8.17 Goodbye Stranger script excerpt surfaces with Dean’s ‘I love you’ to Castiel

Fandom has long known that the ‘I need you’ was formerly an ‘I love you’ because Jensen believed Dean saying it in that moment to Castiel was out of character - but we did not have the script to prove specific changes

Additional ‘I forgive you’ not included in the episode - the original scene reads as very romantic, since this was Dean absolving Castiel for past crimes and telling him he loves him in the moments before death, as well as ‘I love you’ of course being what ‘broke the connection’ of Naomi’s control

Notably this episode written by Robbie Thompson, the very man Jensen and Danneel chose to helm their next project

JUNE 30: Misha Collins misses his blanky text

To cap all this off, Misha Collins texts fans a selfie of himself at ‘the spare room at Jensen’s apt in Vancouver’, saying he ‘misses his blanky’, implying he has spent many nights there

It has been an open secret that Misha basically shared Jensen’s apartment in Vancouver since around 2018 due to [redacted dubiously obtained information] but it’s never been publicly stated (to be clear, this does not imply anything other than friendship, as actors in Vancouver often share accommodation and Misha had previously couch-surfed at Jared and Jensen’s places)

Cockles shippers go wild. Does the ‘blanky’ refer to Jensen? Was there a reason to send this on the last day of pride month? Will this man ever shut up?

Hope that helps! May this wild carousel of News About A Show That Ended Eight Months Ago never end!

#ask #anonymous #kira for ts #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers #long post for ts #there ARE people out there who blacklist that tag… this one’s for you #making a text post like. well now what do I say in tags.#god this took me a long time anon I hope you appreciate the hours I spent on this sourcing lskdflskjdfdfsdf #this post was scheduled for 3am no idea why it posted at 10:15 pm thank you to Broken Website #UPDATE SORRY FOR INCORRECT LINK ON THAT ASK THING CHRIST #again broken website I was meant to check links BEFORE it posted

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notsoheadless · 3 years

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Remember Longcat, Jane? I remember Longcat. Fuck the picture on this page, I want to talk about Longcat. Memes were simpler back then, in 2006. They stood for something. And that something was nothing. Memes just were. “Longcat is long.” An undeniably true, self-reflexive statement. Water is wet, fire is hot, Longcat is long. Memes were floating signifiers without signifieds, meaningful in their meaninglessness. Nobody made memes, they just arose through spontaneous generation; Athena being birthed, fully formed, from her own skull. You could talk about them around the proverbial water cooler, taking comfort in their absurdity. “Hey, Johnston, have you seen the picture of that cat? They call it Longcat because it’s long!” “Ha ha, sounds like good fun, Stevenson! That reminds me, I need to show you this webpage I found the other day; it contains numerous animated dancing hamsters. It’s called — you’ll never believe this — hamsterdance!” And then Johnston and Stevenson went on to have a wonderful friendship based on the comfortable banality of self-evident digitized animals. But then 2007 came, and along with it came I Can Has, and everything was forever ruined. It was hubris, Jane. We did it to ourselves. The minute we added written language beyond the reflexive, it all went to shit. Suddenly memes had an excess of information to be parsed. It wasn’t just a picture of a cat, perhaps with a simple description appended to it; now the cat spoke to us via a written caption on the picture itself. It referred to an item of food that existed in our world but not in the world of the meme, rupturing the boundary between the two. The cat wanted something. Which forced us to recognize that what it wanted was us, was our attention. WE are the cheezburger, Jane, and we always were. But by the time we realized this, it was too late. We were slaves to the very memes that we had created. We toiled to earn the privilege of being distracted by them. They fiddled while Rome burned, and we threw ourselves into the fire so that we might listen to the music. The memes had us. Or, rather, they could has us. And it just got worse from there. Soon the cats had invisible bicycles and played keyboards. They gained complex identities, and so we hollowed out our own identities to accommodate them. We prayed to return to the simple days when we would admire a cat for its exceptional length alone, the days when the cat itself was the meme and not merely a vehicle for the complex memetic text. And the fact that this text was so sparse, informal, and broken ironically made it even more demanding. The intentional grammatical and syntactical flaws drew attention to themselves, making the meme even more about the captioning words and less about the pictures. Words, words, words. Wurds werds wordz. Stumbling through a crooked, dead-end hallway of a mangled clause describing a simple feline sentiment was a torture that we inflicted on ourselves daily. Let’s not forget where the word “caption” itself comes from: capio, Latin for both “I understand” and “I capture.” We thought that by captioning the memes, we were understanding them. Instead, our captions allowed them to capture us. The memes that had once been a cure for our cultural ills were now the illness itself. It goes right back to the Phaedrus, really. Think about it. Back in the innocent days of 2006, we naïvely thought that the grapheme had subjugated the phoneme, that the belief in the primacy of the spoken word was an ancient and backwards folly on par with burning witches or practicing phrenology or thinking that Smash Mouth was good. Fucking Smash Mouth. But we were wrong. About the phoneme, I mean. Theuth came to us again, this time in the guise of a grinning grey cat. The cat hungered, and so did Theuth. He offered us an updated choice, and we greedily took it, oblivious to the consequences. To borrow the parlance of a contemporary meme, he baked us a pharmakon, and we eated it. Pharmakon, φάρμακον, the Greek word that means both “poison” and “cure,” but, because of the

limitations of the English language, can only be translated one way or the other depending on the context and the translator’s whims. No possible translation can capture the full implications of a Greek text including this word. In the Phaedrus, writing is the pharmakon that the trickster god Theuth offers, the toxin and remedy in one. With writing, man will no longer forget; but he will also no longer think. A double-edged (s)word, if you will. But the new iteration of the pharmakon is the meme. Specifically, the post-I-Can-Has memescape of 2007 onward. And it was the language that did it, Jane. The addition of written language twisted the remedy into a poison, flipped the pharmakon on its invisible axis. In retrospect, it was in front of our eyes all along. Meme. The noxious word was given to us by who else but those wily ancient Greeks themselves. μίμημα, or mīmēma. Defined as an imitation, a copy. The exact thing Plato warned us against in the Republic. Remember? The simulacrum that is two steps removed from the perfection of the original by the process of — note the root of the word — mimesis. The Platonic ideal of an object is the source: the father, the sun, the ghostly whole. The corporeal manifestation of the object is one step removed from perfection. The image of the object (be it in letters or in pigments) is two steps removed. The author is inferior to the craftsman is inferior to God. Fuck, out of space. Okay, the illustration on page 46 is fucking useless; I’ll see you there. (21) But we’ll go farther than Plato. Longcat, a photograph, is a textbook example of a second-degree mimesis. (We might promote it to the third degree since the image on the internet is a digital copy of the original photograph of the physical cat which is itself a copy of Platonic ideal of a cat (the Godcat, if you will); but this line of thought doesn’t change anything in the argument.) The text-supplemented meme, on the other hand, the captioned cat, is at an infinite remove from the Godcat, the ultimate mimesis, copying the copy of itself eternally, the written language and the image echoing off each other, until it finally loops back around to the truth by virtue of being so far from it. It becomes its own truth, the fidelity of the eternal copy. It becomes a God. Writing itself is the archetypical pharmakon and the archetypical copy, if you’ll come back with me to the Phaedrus (if we ever really left it). Speech is the real deal, Socrates says, with a smug little wink to his (written) dialogic buddy. Speech is alive, it can defend itself, it can adapt and change. Writing is its bastard son, the mimic, the dead, rigid simulacrum. Writing is a copy, a mīmēma, of truth in speech. To return to our analogous issue: the image of the cheezburger cat, the copy of the picture-copy-copy, is so much closer to the original Platonic ideal than the written language that accompanies it. (“Pharmakon” can also mean “paint.” Think about it, Jane. Just think about it.) The image is still fake, but it’s the caption on the cat that is the downfall of the republic, the real fakeness, which is both realer and faker than whatever original it is that it represents. Men and gods abhor the lie, Plato says in sections 382 a and b of the Republic. οὐκ οἶσθα, ἦν δ᾽ ἐγώ, ὅτι τό γε ὡς ἀληθῶς ψεῦδος, εἰ οἷόν τε τοῦτο εἰπεῖν, πάντες θεοί τε καὶ ἄνθρωποι μισοῦσιν; πῶς, ἔφη, λέγεις; οὕτως, ἦν δ᾽ ἐγώ, ὅτι τῷ κυριωτάτῳ που ἑαυτῶν ψεύδεσθαι καὶ περὶ τὰ κυριώτατα οὐδεὶς ἑκὼν ἐθέλει, ἀλλὰ πάντων μάλιστα φοβεῖται ἐκεῖ αὐτὸ κεκτῆσθαι. “Don’t you know,” said I, “that the veritable lie, if the expression is permissible, is a thing that all gods and men abhor?” “What do you mean?” he said. “This,” said I, “that falsehood in the most vital part of themselves, and about their most vital concerns, is something that no one willingly accepts, but it is there above all that everyone fears it.” Man’s worst fear is that he will hold existential falsehood within himself. And the verbal lies that he tells are a copy of this feared dishonesty in the soul.

Plato goes on to elaborate: “the falsehood in words is a copy of the affection in the soul, an after-rising image of it and not an altogether unmixed falsehood.” A copy of man’s false internal copy of truth. And what word does Plato use for “copy” in this sentence? That’s fucking right, μίμημα. Mīmēma. Mimesis. Meme. The new meme is a lie, manifested in (written) words, that reflects the lack of truth, the emptiness, within the very soul of a human. The meme is now not only an inferior copy, it is a deceptive copy. But just wait, it gets better. Plato continues in the very next section of the Republic, 382 c. Sometimes, he says, the lie, the meme, is appropriate, even moral. It is not abhorrent to lie to your enemy, or to your friend in order to keep him from harm. “Does it [the lie] not then become useful to avert the evil—as a medicine?” You get one fucking guess for what Greek word is being translated as “medicine” in this passage. Ding ding motherfucking ding, you got it, φάρμακον, pharmakon. The μίμημα is a φάρμακον, the lie is a medicine/poison, the meme is a pharmakon. But I’m sure that by now you’ve realized the (intentional) mistake in my argument that brought us to this point. I said earlier that the addition of written language to the meme flipped the pharmakon on its axis. But the pharmakon didn’t flip, it doesn’t have an axis. It was always both remedy and poison. The fact that this isn’t obvious to us from the very beginning of the discussion is the fault of, you guessed it, language. The initial lie (writing) clouds our vision and keeps us from realizing how false the second-order lie (the meme) is. The very structure of the lying meme mirrors the structure of the written word that defines and corrupts it. Once you try to identify an “outside” in order to reveal the lie, the whole framework turns itself inside-out so that you can never escape it. The cat wants the cheezburger that exists outside the meme, but only through the meme do we become aware of the presumed existence of the cheezburger — we can’t point out the absurdity of the world of the meme without also indicting our own world. We can’t talk about language without language, we can’t meme without mimesis. Memes didn’t change between ‘06 and ‘07, it was us who changed. Or rather, our understanding of what we had always been changed. The lie became truth, the remedy became the poison, the outside became the inside. Which is to say that the truth became lie, the pharmakon was always the remedy and the poison, and the inside retreated further inside. It all came full circle. Because here’s the secret, Jane. Language ruined the meme, yes. But language itself had already been ruined. By that initial poisonous, lying copy. Writing. The First Meme. Language didn’t attack the meme in 2007 out of spite. It attacked it to get revenge. Longcat is long. Language is language. Pharmakon is pharmakon. The phoneme topples the grapheme, witches ride through the night, our skulls hide secret messages on their surfaces, Smash Mouth is good after all. Hey now, you’re an all-star. Get your game on. Go play.

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ghoste-catte · 3 years

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I was curious what advice would you give to someone new to writing fics? I've been wanting to get back into it but haven't seriously written something since high school. I hope this isn't an annoying question or anything!

Not an annoying question at all! I'm just a little worried that I won't have terribly good or useful advice. To be honest, I also sort of stopped writing in earnest right as I finished high school, and didn't pick it back up until my late 20s. It's certainly an adjustment! But I think the few things that really helped me get back into writing fic as a hobby and something I spend quite a bit of time on would be:

Write for yourself first, then find your other motivations. My original inspiration in getting back into fic writing was that there just were not that many fics I liked for my favorite pairing, and I wanted more of them, and I especially wanted more with the tropes and characterizations I wanted to see. I think at the very core of anything you need that internal spark that drives you. At the same time, for me at least, if I just relied on my own drive, I would not get much done; I need some external guardrails. So having people send prompts, or writing for particular events, or writing stuff for friends really helps me to get my ass in gear and finish stuff. That may not be the perfect motivator for you, and that's fine! You just gotta figure out what is.

Be open to inspiration. Anything and everything can be spun out into a story with the right tweaking. Obviously stuff like music is a classic inspiration source, but I've also pulled ideas from poetry, from memes, from Reddit threads, from YouTube videos, from rambling conversations on Discord and from real life to make fics out of. So many times, someone will post a silly Twitter screencap, and I'll think, There's a fic in this. And a lot of the time, there is! Research is a wonderful thing, but so is serendipity. If you're out there actively looking for ideas, eventually one that you like will stumble past you.

Find your community. I can genuinely say I never would have finished more than one fic if I didn't have fandom friends to talk to about even stupid headcanons, to bounce ideas off of, and to encourage me (and to encourage them in turn!). Discord has been a godsend, and some of my closest online friends are people I met in the GaaLee discord server. As I've gotten more comfortable as a writer, I've also joined general writing servers and Reddit communities and have found them immensely helpful on both a motivational level (bingos, sprints, owe-me challenges) and on a craft level (plot workshopping and writing ethics and live grammar help). It's a lot easier to think about fic ideas and hash through problem moments when I have a constant stream of fandom-related chatter coming from the little people who live in my phone! Ao3 is an amazing website, and it's great as, well, an archive, but it isn't social media by design. If you want conversation and human connection and cheerleading, you've gotta forge out and find it.

Make it a habit ... If you want to produce anything longer than a couple hundred words, you really have to set aside time for it. And writing is just like knitting or dirt biking or painting little model figurines: the more you do it, the more easily it comes. When I was first getting back into the proper swing of things, I committed myself to 30 minutes of writing per week. Just 30 minutes. I didn't even hit that goal every week, but there were tons of weeks I got on a roll and went over that amount, and by the end of the year I'd written over 200,000 words. I used to spend an hour laboriously tip-tapping out 200 words, but now I can easily blow through 1k in a 50 minute sprint. It's all about training that muscle.

... But don't make it a chore. With fanfic, you aren't doing this as a job, and you aren't ultimately doing it for anyone other than you. That means you can take breaks when you need them, you can set deadlines and then fail to meet them, you can write stuff and then decide to never post it. When you start getting burnt out, when the practice loses the joy and energy, stop. There's no 'hustle' here. In our capitalist society we're so trained to push past our limits and keep going even when it hurts us, but the hobby you do for connection and relaxation and whatever else shouldn't be like that.

Ignore metrics. Sometimes stuff isn't gonna get hits, or kudos, or comments. There are some basic 'rules' as to the stuff that does and doesn't get traction, but every time you post something it's a roll of the dice. If you're focused on watching that kudos counter tick up, you will get bummed out fast. And any writer will tell you that the stuff you think is your best work will never be the stuff that gets the most accolades. So you have to find something else to give you a sense of success. For me, it's watching my wordcount go up in my stats and those occasional comments where someone has a lot to say and that one person who always leaves me a <3 emoji (and, shout out to @egregiousderp, having someone to have long one-on-one conversations with about the stuff that never made it to page).

Don't strive for perfection. It's really easy to want your first ever fic to be a complete showstopper, the best fic fandom has ever seen, hitting all the tropes and the ideas and the characterization that you just know fandom is missing and would be everyone's top favorite if only it was written. This is a trap. No one fic can be all things. Most people who want to write an epic as their very first venture will not see the end of that epic, because they haven't put in the practice hours to make something on that scale work. That's not to say you can't start out with a big, sprawling multichap, just don't expect it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread if you're just starting out, and be okay with abandoning it for greener pastures if you get to that point. Think of the first time someone makes a vase out of clay or bakes a loaf of bread. That's never their best vase or their best bread. If they keep up with it, they'll make more and better vases and loaves. Likewise, your first fic is probably not gonna be your best fic. See it for what it is: your launchpad.

You can't edit an empty page, but you can over-edit a full one. This kind of spins off of #7, but if the words aren't there, you can't fix them. Daydreams and headcanons are fantastic (and god, how many times have I wished for a speech-to-text engine that projected my falling asleep thoughts onto a Google doc for later perusal), but they aren't fic. If you want to write fic, you've gotta get comfortable with the idea of sloppy outlines and rough first drafts. You can't build a house without a frame and you can't build a man without a skeleton (I mean, you can, I guess, but he'd be one floppy man). The nice thing about fic is that it doesn't matter if that frame is structurally unsound or the skeleton has 18 too many bones, you can clean that up in the editing process. But you can't start hanging curtains and arranging furniture in something that doesn't even have walls. That's the process. But! Also know when to set down the editor's pen and say, "Okay, this is good enough for government work", and call it done. ("Done" doesn't have to mean "posted", but it does mean, "I'm done picking at this for now, and I'm gonna go write some more stuff".) Over-editing can make stuff seem laborious and forced, and it prevents you from actually improving. To continue belaboring the house metaphor, you can spend your whole life rearranging furniture in just one room, but the end result of that is a pretty narrow existence and a room with a lot of footprints and tracks in the carpet.

Write shit down. When you have ideas, jot them down--in a notebook, in a Google Doc, in the Notes app of your phone, in pen on the back of your hand. You think you will remember that brilliant line of dialogue or sparkling snippet of narration or genius plot that came to you in a dream, but you Will Not. Write it down. Write it down. Write it down! There have been so many times when a fic was completely saved by past!me having written down my shower thoughts about what happens next in the fic, that present!me had completely forgotten about and was floundering over.

Have fun with it! Try different stuff. Try stupid stuff. Try experimental stuff. Do stuff you've never done before that you aren't sure will work. It's important to get comfortable with your niche (for example, I know I'm never going to be the sort of person who writes intricate plots of intrigue or super long 100k epics or detailed battles), but you can't find that niche unless you explore lots of different niches! Figure out what you love and what you absolutely hate, and then keep doing the stuff you love.

Okay, so that was actually TEN things, but ... I hope you still found this helpful. Feel free to send another ask if any of this was confusing or unclear. Good luck with your fic writing and, if you want, send me a link to what you've written once you've written it! I'd love to read it.

#answered #anonymous #writing advice #i guess?#am i qualified to give this?#no #but im doing it anyway

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milfzatannaz · 3 years

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I am poking the John Meow Meow vs John King Shark wound for the top 5 character facts ask meme

*cracks knuckles* MY TIME TO SHINE

Five essential character traits for one John Constantine, Meow Meow Supreme, the Hellblazer himself.

this is what I consider make up accurately depicting John in a way that does his origins and solo run justice, versus the Fanon John/“King Shark John”

1) humanity

A John that is written in a compelling, accurate way is not a superhero. Hellblazer is in the occult genre for a reason. He originates in Swamp Thing but was never meant to fill the role of a hero like on the Justice League; part of why he continues to be lauded as one of the most triumphant figures written in the media is his ability to use magic as a tool for his own gain, but not have “powers”. He’s not an infinitely powerful mage that can save the day with a witty comment. He actually gets himself out of most sticky situations because he’s cunning, not with a spell.

^^ it’s why this is so fucking stupid. It’s a reduction of why he works so well as a character. He doesn’t have hokey sigil hands in HB because that would be a disservice to his view on magic and why he uses it. John, at the end of the day, is a man, not an infallible figure.

2) Cunning

An accurate Constantine story is one where John “wins” because he outsmarts what he’s up against, not because he’s more powerful than them. If he’s not manipulating someone for his own gain without them realizing, then I don’t want him

3) Assholery

John is an asshole. Like I don’t mean that in a quirky way I know if we ever crossed paths (bc I’m a John Constantine is Real and He Walks Among Us Truther) that we would throw hands. But the thing is, I wouldn’t want him any other way. You read Hellblazer, and you’re like, why can’t you just not be a son of a bitch for once, but it’s part of the grand thrill of it all. There is also a different between his stylish asshole endeavors and him being written as a one dimensional douchebag. Writers nowadays will present him as whiny and a little bitch almost unintentionally, because they don’t see how his abrasive tendencies are what endear readers to him. He doesn’t make misogynistic jokes about Wonder Woman bc haha quirky British man in a trench coat, but he will insult your mother to your face if you provoke him. There’s a difference.

4) Adult content

I don’t know how else to phrase it because I’m aware “adult content” isn’t a character trait, but a large part of why he simply doesn’t translate well into the Tungle Hellscape is because him in his original form is not as savory for your average teenage reader who likes the batfamily. This isn’t a criticism of that demographic, but King Shark Constantine bothers me as someone who’s gone through the source material because it sanitizes him. What’s so sanitizing about monster fucker jokes? The fact that we think as a fandom that it’s the core of who he is. It’s reductive to present his bisexuality and sexual habits as him dating a shark hybrid. A Constantine that’s true to his source material is often messy in ways that can’t be woobiefied or made into funny text posts (although I do try). Like. The first comic arc that gave him a boyfriend had people getting peed on in a sex club on panel. So. John is no stranger to out-there sexual escapades but running with a line from a DCAU movie and turning it into all he stands for is just. Really interesting. The comics industry keeps trying to sell a PG-13 Constantine, in books and in media, but his world is scary. And if your Constantine doesn’t have naked tits on panel at some point then I don’t want him.

5) complexity

This taps into the humanity aspect so I apologize if I seem redundant. The reason why I dislike what DC has done with him, ESPECIALLY during the n52, is they don’t stop to consider all the parts that make him whole. Yes he’s funny, but why does he use humor? Yes he’s depressed, but where does that stem from? He’s my Meow Meow because in HB there’s these moments of stunning and aching vulnerability from a man that could barely tell his girlfriend he loved her. He’s so much more than British Guy in Trench Coat. In issue #100, he’s trying to get his abusive father’s soul out of hell, but the line that sticks with me when he confronts him is “I just wanted someone to help me with my homework”. He loves his sister and niece, likes to take walks by himself, has anxiety attacks and vomits when he’s distressed, wears floral patterned boxers and flipped off the goddam devil. He’s sarcastic and cold but also introspective and uses his heart to love those around him, even if that circle shrinks. We want to follow him on his journey because we root for him even if he does something repulsive.

In conclusion: I would literally die for him, he’s my son and my enemy all rolled into one and DC and this site needs to stop fucking around and put some respect on his name.

#thank u buddy for the ask fhhdhdhdhff #answered #Millie reads comics #john #Hellblazer #John Constantine

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faggotri · 3 years

Text

But we’ll go farther than Plato. Longcat, a photograph, is a textbook example of a second-degree mimesis. (We might promote it to the third degree since the image on the internet is a digital copy of the original photograph of the physical cat which is itself a copy of Platonic ideal of a cat (the Godcat, if you will); but this line of thought doesn’t change anything in the argument.) The text-supplemented meme, on the other hand, the captioned cat, is at an infinite remove from the Godcat, the ultimate mimesis, copying the copy of itself eternally, the written language and the image echoing off each other, until it finally loops back around to the truth by virtue of being so far from it. It becomes its own truth, the fidelity of the eternal copy. It becomes a God. Writing itself is the archetypical pharmakon and the archetypical copy, if you’ll come back with me to the Phaedrus (if we ever really left it). Speech is the real deal, Socrates says, with a smug little wink to his (written) dialogic buddy. Speech is alive, it can defend itself, it can adapt and change. Writing is its bastard son, the mimic, the dead, rigid simulacrum. Writing is a copy, a mīmēma, of truth in speech. To return to our analogous issue: the image of the cheezburger cat, the copy of the picture-copy-copy, is so much closer to the original Platonic ideal than the written language that accompanies it. (“Pharmakon” can also mean “paint.” Think about it, Jane. Just think about it.) The image is still fake, but it’s the caption on the cat that is the downfall of the republic, the real fakeness, which is both realer and faker than whatever original it is that it represents. Men and gods abhor the lie, Plato says in sections 382 a and b of the Republic. οὐκ οἶσθα, ἦν δ᾽ ἐγώ, ὅτι τό γε ὡς ἀληθῶς ψεῦδος, εἰ οἷόν τε τοῦτο εἰπεῖν, πάντες θεοί τε καὶ ἄνθρωποι μισοῦσιν; πῶς, ἔφη, λέγεις; οὕτως, ἦν δ᾽ ἐγώ, ὅτι τῷ κυριωτάτῳ που ἑαυτῶν ψεύδεσθαι καὶ περὶ τὰ κυριώτατα οὐδεὶς ἑκὼν ἐθέλει, ἀλλὰ πάντων μάλιστα φοβεῖται ἐκεῖ αὐτὸ κεκτῆσθαι. “Don’t you know,” said I, “that the veritable lie, if the expression is permissible, is a thing that all gods and men abhor?” “What do you mean?” he said. “This,” said I, “that falsehood in the most vital part of themselves, and about their most vital concerns, is something that no one willingly accepts, but it is there above all that everyone fears it.” Man’s worst fear is that he will hold existential falsehood within himself. And the verbal lies that he tells are a copy of this feared dishonesty in the soul. Plato goes on to elaborate: “the falsehood in words is a copy of the affection in the soul, an after-rising image of it and not an altogether unmixed falsehood.” A copy of man’s false internal copy of truth. And what word does Plato use for “copy” in this sentence? That’s fucking right, μίμημα. Mīmēma. Mimesis. Meme. The new meme is a lie, manifested in (written) words, that reflects the lack of truth, the emptiness, within the very soul of a human. The meme is now not only an inferior copy, it is a deceptive copy. But just wait, it gets better. Plato continues in the very next section of the Republic, 382 c. Sometimes, he says, the lie, the meme, is appropriate, even moral. It is not abhorrent to lie to your enemy, or to your friend in order to keep him from harm. “Does it [the lie] not then become useful to avert the evil—as a medicine?” You get one fucking guess for what Greek word is being translated as “medicine” in this passage. Ding ding motherfucking ding, you got it, φάρμακον, pharmakon. The μίμημα is a φάρμακον, the lie is a medicine/poison, the meme is a pharmakon. But I’m sure that by now you’ve realized the (intentional) mistake in my argument that brought us to this point. I said earlier that the addition of written language to the meme flipped the pharmakon on its axis. But the pharmakon didn’t flip, it doesn’t have an axis. It was always both remedy and poison. The fact that this isn’t obvious to us from the very beginning of the discussion is the fault of, you guessed it, language. The initial lie (writing) clouds our vision and keeps us from realizing how false the second-order lie (the meme) is. The very structure of the lying meme mirrors the structure of the written word that defines and corrupts it. Once you try to identify an “outside” in order to reveal the lie, the whole framework turns itself inside-out so that you can never escape it. The cat wants the cheezburger that exists outside the meme, but only through the meme do we become aware of the presumed existence of the cheezburger — we can’t point out the absurdity of the world of the meme without also indicting our own world. We can’t talk about language without language, we can’t meme without mimesis. Memes didn’t change between ‘06 and ‘07, it was us who changed. Or rather, our understanding of what we had always been changed. The lie became truth, the remedy became the poison, the outside became the inside. Which is to say that the truth became lie, the pharmakon was always the remedy and the poison, and the inside retreated further inside. It all came full circle. Because here’s the secret, Jane. Language ruined the meme, yes. But language itself had already been ruined. By that initial poisonous, lying copy. Writing. The First Meme. Language didn’t attack the meme in 2007 out of spite. It attacked it to get revenge. Longcat is long. Language is language. Pharmakon is pharmakon. The phoneme topples the grapheme, witches ride through the night, our skulls hide secret messages on their surfaces, Smash Mouth is good after all. Hey now, you’re an all-star. Get your game on. Go play.

#love it here #just a regular post :)#aaron shouts

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firstlovesuggestions · 3 years

Text

Disclaimers, Rules, FAQ, and Resources

Hi everyone! Here’s the official one-stop post for this blog and how it runs. I’m excited to get things moving again after my long hiatus!

Disclaimers and rules are subject to change at any time~

The resources list is always expanding; if you have resources for help in the UK, Canada, Australia, or any other country, please message me so I can include them in the list. As of right now, I only have US resources.

Note: as of April 20, 2021 I am putting a temporary hold on answering advice asks. The inbox is still open for advice, but I’m just going through some personal things and need a little break, so I might not respond as soon as you like. Submissions will still be posted and my own suggestions will still be coming! Thank you~

Disclaimers

All suggestions are my own thoughts and feelings about my own partner and relationship. I have not, do not, and will not ever take another suggestion blog’s work as my own. Submissions from followers are tagged “submission” and I will never take credit for someone’s submission. If you think I am stealing another blog’s posts or there are any other sourcing issues, please message me directly.

I am a 22 year old cisgender bisexual woman in a relationship with a 25 year old cisgender straight man. As such, I may not always give the best or most fitting advice to others of different genders, sexualities, and ages, but I really do try my best.

Any advice I give is purely based on my own thoughts, opinions, and experiences. I try to be objective at the same time, but at the end of the day, I’m going to go with what I feel is the best answer for you. If you disagree with or are upset by my advice, please ignore it and move on. I can’t tell you what you want to hear just to make you feel better; that doesn’t help anyone.

I’m not responsible for the outcome of your situation if you choose to apply the advice I give. I’m a stranger on the internet you asked for help, not a fairy godmother. I can’t fix things for you, just give you my input. Please don’t blame me for things not working. I don’t like being harsh about this, but I just want to make this known and understood.

Rules

Homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny/misandry, and any other sort of discrimination is prohibited in your reblogs, replies, and tags. If I find anyone breaking this rule to any degree, you will be blocked on the spot, no questions asked. It’s 2021. You’re better than this.

If you find my advice or my suggestions to be problematic in any way, please message me directly and tell me why, so I know to correct myself and to delete the problematic post in question.

DD/LG blogs will be blocked immediately if I find any interaction with my posts whatsoever. This is not kinkshaming. This is me wanting no part of a community that sexualizes children.

No asks about family situations and relationships. These will be deleted, as I am not in any position to help with matters like these.

Asks about sex and sexual relationships are allowed, but please do not be overly graphic in your descriptions. Sex asks are reserved for those 18 or older**. I will tag all sex-related posts with “tw sex” for those who wish to avoid them.

I won’t post submissions about breakups, rejections, or any other sorrowful situations. I want this blog to be a happier place for people. I’m really sorry for this one, and I can still be here to support you if you want to direct message me.

If you have any questions about the rules, please send a message! I don’t want to discourage anyone from interacting with this blog.

** If you are a minor looking for resources relating to things like sexual assault or birth control, please see the resources below. If you have any other questions or situations you need resources for, please message me directly.

FAQ

This is a list of the topics asked very, very frequently and a quick answer to them. If I find your ask to be redundant and think it can be answered on this list, it will be deleted. This is not meant to ignore you; this is to keep ask traffic lower so that I can answer more people instead of repeating the same answer for one general topic.

“Would it be wrong of me to get revenge on [person] for [reason]?” - Yes. I don’t ever condone revenge for any reason when it comes to relationships. Don’t stoop to their level. Don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing you’re angry/upset with them. The best way to say “fuck you” to someone is to cut them off and move on, because you’re taking away the power they held over you.

“I’m in an LDR and my partner isn’t reaponding to my texts like they used to.” - Communicate. LDRs have no room for not responding to texts and calls because that’s the only way you get to connect. If they still aren’t willing to talk after multiple attempts to discuss the issue(s) at hand, you can give them an ultimatum or just leave.

“How do I get my crush to notice me?” - Talk to them. If you’re wanting to get their attention, reach out to them.

“How can I start a conversation with my crush?” - Casually compliment them, find something in the environment to comment on or send them a meme “accidentally”. It’s not creepy to start a conversation, and it could lead to a new friendship or something more! Just don’t rush things.

“How do I impress my crush?” - Be yourself. Seriously. If you try to be anything other than you, or if you do things you usually never do or don’t like to do, it won’t end well. If you did manage to reel in your crush and start dating, it would be under false pretenses and likely wouldn’t last long.

“I confessed to my crush, but they rejected me.” - Accept their answer. No means no, no exceptions. The worst thing you could possibly do is keep trying to get them to say yes. If they offer to stay friends after they reject you, it’s your choice to keep them in your life or to move on.

“I have a crush on someone who is already in a monogamous relationship.” - There’s nothing wrong with having a crush. What matters is that you do not, under any circumstances, interfere with their relationship. It will hurt to see them with someone else, but if you love them, you should respect their choices and who/what brings them happiness.

“I have/my partner has a crush on someone else.” - If you’re dating casually, this isn’t super uncommon, but if it bothers you, say something. If you’re in a committed relationship, this could be an issue because one of you doesn’t have your heart fully in it. If you feel like you two have become distant or that the trust is broken, communicate and determine where to go from there.

“I have a crush on someone, but they’re [sexuality, gender].” - In the same way they respect your gender and sexuality, you need to respect theirs, too. If they express interest outside of their sexual orientation, you can be there to support them, but do not force things unless you want to push them away or break your bond with them.

If you feel your question isn’t answered here depite being related to something on the list, or you need more specific advice, please don’t hesitate to reach out after you have read this list thoroughly and completely!

Resources (USA)

Crisis text line: Text HELLO to 741741

Domestic abuse hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)

Sexual assault hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)

Suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

Substance abuse services (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-4357 (HELP)

Trevor Lifeline (LGBTQ mental health crisis hotline): 1-866-488-7386

Eating disorder helpline: (Call or Text) 1-800-931-2237, via NEDA

Dating issues/abuse: via loveisrespect.org

Birth control information: via Planned Parenthood

If anyone has resources for the UK, Canada, Australia, or any other country, please let me know. I want to only have the best and most reliable ones here, and it’s difficult to know which ones to include. Thank you in advance!

…………………

About Me

My main is @serenityfive! If reply to you in a post, that’s where I’ll be talking from. Same with if I follow you or I’m scrolling through and liking stuff on your blog. I like to pick a blog at random in the notes and look around since I’m trying to find people to follow despite tumblr being dead!

I started this blog in 2018 to express my feelings for a guy I had a massive crush on who eventually became my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 and a half years now and are living happily in Colorado! My side of our story can be found here 💕

So, a little bit more about me... I’m 22, I like cooking, gaming, cats, nature, and I have a strong interest in health and nutrition. I’m currently finishing my associate’s degree and want to obtain a certification in surgical technology!

I’m happy to make people smile with this blog; you guys are very fulfilling and kind, and I thank you! If anyone wants to chat, just hit me up~

With love,

Lily

#not a suggestion #rules #disclaimers #resources #about me

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saysomethingspiderman · 4 years

Text

Something Wonderful (PT.7)

Synopsis: During your time as a professional photographer, you had come across incredibly good looking men, but there was just something about Tom that stood out. Who would have thought shooting the self-titled “walking meme” would change your life forever?

Chapter word count: 4.7k

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five // Part Six // Part Seven // Part Eight

It didn’t occur to you that you’d both fallen asleep until the light from the morning sun woke you up. With a small groan, you reached down and pulled the duvet up over your head to shield yourself from the unpleasant awakening. As you lay there, Tom’s arm hanging lazily over your waist, you couldn’t ignore the slight aching pain between your legs. Boy, had last night been good but the ache reminded you just how long it had been. The toys in your bedside table had never been used more in the last year, let’s just say that. When there was a slight shuffle and a yawn from behind, you turned over and pushed the duvet down a little; being almost blinded by the sun was worth it to see Tom’s sleepy morning face.

“Remind me to close the curtains next time,” Tom said with a small chuckle, his voice thick and raspy from sleep. He rubbed his eyes and looked over at you with a smile, taking in your messy hair and small marks his lips had left on your neck the night before. “You, my darling, are beautiful.” With a cheeky grin, he reached over and pulled you closer. His lips met yours, instantly waking you up. He pressed himself against you, rubbing his morning erection against your thigh.

“I don’t think I can go another round just yet,” you murmured against his lips, though wanted to do nothing more than pin him down and fuck him into the mattress. “I’m a bit sore.”

After another gentle kiss, he pulled away and slapped your bum lightly. “Alright, how about some breakfast?” he asked as he moved to get out of bed. He shoved on a pair of boxers and tossed you one of his t-shirts. “I’ve no idea what we’ve got left in,” he said, leading you out the bedroom after you put some of his boxers on too. “Harrison usually does the food shop… I should probably check when he’s back from his holiday actually,” he murmured, mostly to himself.

Since you’d been spending more time at Tom’s place, the two of you often ordered food instead of cooking. It was a lot easier and, truth be told, you both got lazy after a long day of work. There were basics you’d pick up from the local shop but as you both looked through the cupboards and fridge, you came to the realisation that there hadn’t been much in for a long time.

“Okay, so we’ve got a few sausages, cereal and… Ah ha, one slice of bacon!” Tom said, pulling it from the fridge with a proud look on his face. Seeing your frown, he burst out laughing and shook his head. “Okay, we’ll just use this up and then go for something proper to eat. And we’ll go shopping,” he added, reading your mind.

While Tom got started on the bacon and sausages, you flicked the kettle on and made a cup of tea for each of you. As you sipped the hot drink, you leaned back against the island and watched Tom move around the kitchen, his brow furrowed in deep concentration. The muscles on his back were glorious but the angry red scratches across his shoulders and spine made your cheeks flame. Either they weren’t sore or they didn’t bother him because Tom didn’t seem to think about the large marks as he quietly hummed an old cartoon theme tune to himself.

“There better be enough for me.”

The voice came from behind and you quickly turned to see a tall, sandy haired young man around the same age as Tom stood leaning back against the table with a cocky smirk plastered across his face. He crossed his arms over his chest and raised a brow, looking between the two of you with a glint in his eye, clearly trying his hardest to hold in his laugh. You pulled at the end of the t-shirt you were wearing, trying to cover yourself a little bit more, and did your best to ignore how hot your face suddenly felt. This wasn’t exactly how you’d imagined meeting Tom’s best friend for the first time.

“Fuck sake, Harrison, I thought you weren’t back until the end of the week,” Tom said with an awkard chuckle and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up at the back.

“Nope. Got back last night,” Harrison replied, letting out the laugh he’d been holding. “Didn’t you see my suitcase at the door when you got back?”

There was a pause from Tom and then he mumbled, “Must have missed it. I was… Distracted.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” he snorted and moved over to the fridge. He took out the carton of milk and drank a large gulp. “Next time, try to remember my bedroom’s right next to yours.”

Tom dropped a sausage on the floor with a quiet thud. Tessa scurried over and headed straight for it, not caring that it was steaming with heat. Your face fell and your eyes widened in absolute horror at Harrison’s words.

The moans. The screams. The bloody headboard.

Christ.

He’d heard everything.

“Yeah, um, we’ll keep that in mind,” you managed to mutter because Tom seemed to have lost his voice, only able to clear his throat. After a pause, you gave Harrison a brief nod and then hurriedly left the room go grab some proper trousers from upstairs.

You took the time to brush the knots from your hair, spray some deodorant on and actually wash the makeup from your face. It was rare you slept with makeup on and the small spots already appearing under your skin along your jawline and chin reminded you exactly why you usually scrubbed your face clean of it. When you felt a little bit better about your appearance, you headed back down to join the boys in the kitchen. Tom’s cheeks were still tinted with pink when he gave you a smile. Seeing Harrison digging into some cereal at the table, you decided to join him with your plate, though noticeably there was one sausage short thanks to Tom’s clumsiness and Tessa’s quick reflexes.

“Don’t worry, I ended up putting my earphones in,” Harrison said through a mouthful of Cheerios, as though that would help with the situation.

With a shake of your head, you gave a soft laugh and shrugged a shoulder. “Well next time you have a girl over, you have permission to get us back,” you chuckled and covered your food sausages and bacon with ketchup.

“Oi, he’s way ahead of me in that game!” Tom argued playfully, taking the seat next to you.

“It’s a game now, is it?” Harrison asked with a raised brow. “I can guarantee I haven’t woken you up by repeatedly bashing my headboard against the wall.”

“Don’t hate the player,” Tom smirked and leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head.

“Alright, boys, I can practically taste the testosterone in here,” you said and rolled your eyes. “If you want, I can leave you both alone and you can sort through your issues between yourselves.”

Tom gave a light chuckle and placed his arm over the back of your chair, but you soon got up to properly get ready for the day. After shoving your plate in the dishwasher, you went back upstairs and had a long shower to get rid of the post-sex sweat that had dried on your skin. When you felt much fresher and smelled of Tom’s fancy soaps, you changed into some sweats and spotted your phone on the bedside table. The screen flashing with multiple messages caused a small frown between your brows. Who was messaging you so much? You didn’t have that many friends.

Olivia Mayfield 10m ago

AVOID TWITTER

Olivia Mayfield 13m ago

Hello???

Casey Piper 14m ago

Since when you were seeing TOM HOLLAND?

Amy Leung 17m ago

You look hot🔥

Amy Leung 17m ago

YOU’RE IN THE NEWS!

Olivia Mayfield 17m ago

Have you seen the Daily Mail?👀

Reading the texts made your stomach twist. The colour drained from your face. You’d been careful, hadn’t you? Well, you hadn’t gone out of your way to hide from people but there hadn’t been anyone with cameras to hide from. Oh don’t be ridiculous, you thought, everyone has a camera in their pocket these days. Going against Olivia’s advice, you went straight to Twitter and, ignoring the ridiculously large number of follow requests, you saw that Tom’s name was trending. You took a seat on the edge of the messy bed and clicked on the name to see hundreds of tweets. Some mentioned you, though a lot of them simply retweeted the same article from the Daily Mail or The Sun. Seeing a blurred photo of the two of you leaving the restaurant hand in hand made you click on one of them despite knowing it was best to steer clear of these types of things.

Tom Holland Heads out With Mystery Woman at London Hot Spot

Hollywood heart-throb Tom Holland was seen holding hands with a mystery woman on Thursday night while leaving Marylebone’s Chiltern Firehouse. The two were spotted walking outside the restaurant looking loved up after a romantic date in one of London’s celebrity hot spots. The Spider-Man star, 23, looked delighted as he spent time with his companion, and could be seen wrapping an arm around her shoulders while they chatted and moved onto one of the many cocktail bars in the area. The woman wore a silk, mid-length green dress, leaving little to the imagination, while Tom kept things cool with a short-sleeved button up shirt and checkered trousers.

A source for the Daily Mail told us the couple could barely keep their hands off each other and headed back to Tom’s home in Kingston upon Thames once the night came to an end.

His outing comes after sources exclusively tell us he is still hung up on ex-girlfriend Zendaya:

‘They dated for a couple of years and it’s hard to get over someone like that,’ our source says, ‘He’s still pining [for Zendaya] and will do anything he can to get over her. It’s hard for him to see she’s moved on so quickly.’

The Daily Mail has reached out to Tom’s representatives for comment.

Throughout the article, there were multiple photos of you and Tom outside the restaurant, just laughing with each other as you walked to your next destination. The photos were blurry, either taken from far away or snapped quickly on someone’s phone, but they were clear enough to make out your face. How had people found out your name? Even the writer of the trashy article hadn’t found that out. Closing the page, you planned on leaving it at that but you couldn’t help scroll through the tweets; words such as ‘ugly’, ‘fat’, ‘fake’ and ‘pig’ were just some of the many that stuck out. Of course, there were nice messages but those weren’t the ones you cared about. How could you listen to those people when there were others telling you things you sometimes thought about yourself? Surely you were supposed to listen to those ones who were speaking the harsh truth?

With an almost inaudible sigh, you took the plunge and chanced a look at Instagram. As expected, you had hundreds of new followers on your public work page as well as countless requests on your private one. You assumed people had found you by searching through the people Tom followed. You ignored the requests and looked at the comments on your most recent public posts. It was all pretty much the same. The nice comments were drowned out by the ones aiming to destroy not only your relationship with Tom but also what confidence you had left in yourself. Did these people really think it was okay to send such disgusting messages?

You weren’t sure how long you sat there scrolling through Instagram and Twitter but you guessed it was quite a while when a hand appeared in front of your face, waving wildly. With a jump, you locked your phone and looked up to see Tom’s confused face.

“You okay, darling?” he asked. “I’ve just said your name about a hundred times.”

“Oh, you did? Oh. Right. Uh, yeah, yeah, fine, just in my own little world,” you replied, voice at a slightly higher pitch than usual. You cleared your throat. “Just replying to some texts, is all.”

“Nothing to do with certain pictures that were taken last night?” he asked after a small hesitation, then gave a smile when the sudden drop of your shoulders gave him the answer he already knew. With a heavy sigh, Tom took a seat next to you on the bed and placed a hand on your thigh, squeezing gently. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t expect anyone to be there taking pictures.”

“S’not your fault,” you muttered, only half listening to what he was saying. The names people on Twitter called you were too busy making their way to the front of your mind, overpowering Tom’s apology. There was a huge temptation to show him what was being said and let him say something to his fans but how much help would that be?

“Well I still should have known better, [Y/N]. Hey, look at me,” he said softly and took your face in his hands, tilting it towards him. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I’m really sorry about the pictures. I’ve learnt from experience it’s best to just not say anything. They’ll be old news by tomorrow.” He offered you a smile which you returned. “At least no one knows who you are.”

Ah, so he had yet to see people’s comments. He must have just skimmed over the article or been told about it by Harrison or maybe his agent. There was no way you were going to tell him about the things people were saying to you, both on your Instagram comments and private messages. He didn’t need to worry about that. Like he said, it was best to ignore the whole situation.

Easier said than done.

“Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting our relationship to be found out so soon,” you said and leaned your head against his shoulder. His arm wrapped around your waist and he pulled you closer to his chest. “Next time we go out we’ll be more careful.”

“But that’s not what I want, darling,” Tom sighed and gave your forehead another kiss. “I don’t want to have to keep a lookout whenever we go out. Look, if you want I can say something or we can sort something out to stop people taking your photo.”

You shook your head quickly, seeing how torn he felt about the situation, worried about how you’d react. “No, no, it’s not that bad. I think it’s just because I’m not used to being in front of the camera, it’s usually me taking the photos and I’m one of the good guys who gets the model’s permission,” you said, forcing a light chuckle. “Seriously, Tom, it’s fine. I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting it, is all.”

Tom looked at you for a moment, wanting to see if there was anything you weren’t telling him, and when he decided you really were okay, he gave your lips a kiss and your hip a squeeze and went on his way back downstairs. The second you heard his feet touch the wooden floor at the bottom of the stairs, your shoulders dropped and you glanced over at your phone. How bad would it be to have another look at what people were saying? Before you could even give yourself the chance to answer that question, you shoved your phone into your bag without answering any of your friends’ text messages and followed Tom.

Just as Tom had assured you, the news quickly became old and was soon overtaken by a huge story of a cheating scandal within the cast of The Only Way Is Essex - something of which you had no interest in and couldn’t see why others were eager to read about it. Despite the news dying down and the comments on your social media eventually settling, you were still nervous about going out in public with Tom. For the first few days, the two of you stayed local on walks with Tessa, but as Tom’s promotion for Far From Home came to an end the following weekend and the celebration meal drew closer, you started getting more nervous. It was something you pushed yourself to attend; what use was hiding away and ruining the relationship? Attracting attention was all part of the package that came with being with Tom.

Due to his schedule for the last day, it was agreed that you’d meet Tom after his final interview and you’d go to the restaurant from there. Although the nerves had fully kicked in, you were incredibly excited to meet his cast mates. From what Tom had told you about them all, they were a great bunch. You’d watched some interviews and recently listened to him and Jake live on Radio 1, which had you completely belly laughing, so meeting them all in person made you just that little bit extra anxious.

“Do you think I’m thinking too much about the whole press situation?”

The question came out as a whisper but it was enough for Olivia to hear. She looked up from the couch to see you stood in the doorway to your bedroom, dressed and ready to go. With a small groan, Olivia pushed herself up from the couch to look at you properly and looked you up and down. “If I wasn’t taken, I’d definitely be trying to get you to bed,” she smirked, making you roll your eyes. “But to answer your question, I dunno. I mean, you haven’t exactly been the most vocal about the whole situation.”

You supposed she was right. Whenever it was brought up, you tended to bring out the inner teenager out in you and just give a grunt in response.

“I just don’t want to get enough attention from the press or his fans - especially his fans - for it to affect our relationship,” you replied and brushed a piece of straightened hair behind your ear.

“The only way it’ll do that is if you let it,” Olivia said and you instantly knew she was right. Of course she was right. “I’m no relationship expert but if you want to make it work, then you put the effort in to ignore all the crap people are saying.”

Olivia was the only one who you’d shown the private messages people had sent; you’d been too scared of Tom’s reaction to let him see. Even though you knew you were overthinking things, a part of you worried that if Tom read the messages, he’d realise the relationship wasn’t worth the hassle and leave you be. Ridiculous, right?

“Just go out and let your hair down,” she continued with a big grin. “Tom’s lucky to have someone so hot.”

“Oh please, it’s not all about looks, you know,” you told her, trying to sound stern but couldn’t hide the smile pulling at the corners of your lips.

“What can I say? I’m vain,” she laughed and grabbed your keys from under a magazine on the coffee table, tossing them to you as you hurried out to the Uber waiting outside.

As the car drove off, you thought about Olivia’s words. She was right. One hundred percent right. Although it was difficult, you knew you had to just move on and get over your relationship being known. Thinking about it, you knew it was stupid to get so hung up about a few photos and (more than) a handful of death threats sent from Tom’s so called fans. You knew this kind of reaction was common when it came to people in the public eye, you just never expected to be in the receiving end of it.

When you pulled up outside the studio, Tom was already standing there waiting. His face lit up when you got out of the car and he wasted no time giving you a kiss. “You, my perfect girlfriend, are looking gorgeous,” he grinned, still in a high state from his interview. He grabbed your hips and pulled you close. “I’ve missed you.”

“You saw me last night, “ you snorted and moved your hands from his chest to wrap around his neck.

“And?”

“And you can survive a day without me, I’m sure.”

“You know what? I don’t think I can.”

With another kiss, Tom slapped your bum lightly and then took your hand to start leading you down the street.

“Hey, hey, slow down!” she laughed, struggling to keep up with his quick pace. “Some of us are wearing heels, you know.”

“And whose fault is that?” came his laugh of a reply, looking back over his shoulder at you hurrying in your boots. “We’re only going around the corner and then you can have a drink. Anyway, why do women wear those things if they hurt?”

“Because they make us look good,” you shrugged and continued to wince with each step until you got to the restaurant the Far From Home team had booked out for the rest of the night, meaning everyone had the privacy to fully relax and enjoy the night.

The first person you spotted was Zendaya. All it took was one look at the tall young woman to instantly make you feel like a troll. She was absolutely beautiful. No wonder Tom used to have a crush on her. Who could blame him? Zendaya noticed the two of you and put down her drink to rush over, immediately pulling you into a friendly hug.

“I’m a hugger,” she laughed and gave a squeeze, then pulled back to give Tom a light punch on the arm. “It’s about time Tom showed you off! You’re all he talks about.”

“Not all I talk about,” Tom muttered, cheeks turning a faint pink.

“Alright, the only time he shuts up is when he’s being asked questions with a camera pointed at him,” she clarified with another laugh and he rolled his eyes. “Other than that, you’re definitely a hot topic.”

Before Zendaya could embarrass him anymore, Tom dragged you off to meet the rest of the cast. There were a few teasing comments here and there about how much he talked about you, but after a drink Tom seemed to just embrace them and give up denying it. The food was served and quickly demolished, then everyone seemed to focus on getting drunk. You made the rounds again, the few cocktails you’d had giving you the confidence to talk to pretty much everyone. Tom stayed by your side with his hand either in yours or around your waist or on your bum. He laughed at your jokes and you at his; your happiness radiated off one another. Jake was exactly as you’d imagined, if not more wonderfully weird. The friendship that had grown between him and Tom was brilliant to see and a part of you even grew slightly jealous of their closeness.

Someone had managed to get a karaoke set up in the corner of the room and you definitely weren’t one to back down from fighting for the title of Queen of Karaoke. Jacob and Zendaya had their go at OutKast’s “Hey Ya!”, which pretty much had you on the floor laughing. When it came to your turn, you took off your boots to show how serious you were taking this, and dragged Tom up too. There were cheers and whistles. Jake picked your song and within seconds you recognised it as “Dancing Queen”. Your head fell back in laughter. Tom handed you a microphone and the two of you belted out the lyrics, not a single one of them in key. You moved across the makeshift stage to show off your moves. Tom even attempted to do the robot at one point, clearly showing off his wide range of dance skills. When the song came to an end, you both joined in with the cheering and Tom pulled you in for a kiss.

“If I was sober,” he said with a little snigger, “I’d kill you for that.”

The end of the night arrived far sooner than you would have liked. Tom tried his best to get one more round of drinks, giggling away to the waitress as he was repeatedly denied any more.

“But it’s for Spider-Man,” he hiccuped and struggled to stop swaying on the spot. He frowned a little as he tried to focus on the waitress, his vision slightly blurred from the amount of alcohol he’d had. “And for Myst… Misty…” He looked back over to Jake and waved a hand in his general direction. “That one.”

“I think someone’s had a little bit too much to drink,” you giggled and took a hold of Tom’s hand to pull him back towards the table where near enough everyone seemed to be saying their goodbyes.

Tom looked down at you, eyes sparkling. “Hello, you,” he said with a grin as though it was the first time he’d seen you all night and hadn’t in fact left your side just minutes earlier. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here,” you laughed and reached up to give the tip of his nose a light poke.

“Not close enough,” he grumbled before pulling you right into him, smushing your face against his chest. He left a wet kiss on the top of your head.

“Any closer and I’d suffocate, babe,” you managed to say, voice muffled from his shirt. You gently pushed against him and moved away. The pout on his lips made you smile. “I think it’s time we head home, yeah?”

Farewell hugs and kisses were made on your way out of the restaurant and you quickly hailed a taxi to take you back to your place as it was closer. Tom leaned into your side as the car drove, the streetlights adding a yellow glow to his face. He gave a big yawn and snuggled into you, and by the time the car came to a halt outside your flat, he was fast asleep and snoring into your shoulder.

“Come on, Tom, just walk about five metres and you’ll be inside and can get into a nice cosy-ish bed,” you said and shook the sleeping lump. All you got was a grunt in response. “Alright, you asked for it.” You took a chunk of his curly hair between your fingers and pulled. Tom jumped with a yelp and rubbed the back of his head. Before he had time to ask for an explanation, you forced him out of the car and, after saying a rushed thank you to the driver, dragged the drunken man into the flat.

The place was empty; Olivia tended to stay over at her girlfriend’s on the weekends. You could tell Tom was in no state to have even just a sip of water so you guided him towards the bedroom and he fell heavily on the bed.

“Throw up in here and you’ll be on the couch,” you warned, though weren’t sure how much attention he actually paid to your threat.

Tom attempted to kick off his shoes but gave up with a huff and curled up on top of the covers. Could he have looked more cute? You took a quick picture on your phone and then moved to take the shoes off for him, pulling at the laces to loosen them up. A mumble of incoherent words made you look up but Tom still had his eyes closed and his head buried in the pillow. You shook your head a little and chose to ignore it, brushing the words off as drunken nonsense. Then he spoke again. The words were quiet, only just audible, but you definitely heard them. Goosebumps spread across your arms and a faint smile appeared on your lips.

“Say that again,” you whispered and tossed his shoes to the corner of the room.

Tom rolled over onto his back and stretched out across the bed, taking up all the room. “I love you,” he mumbled and gave a soft snore.

You’d definitely never let him forget this.

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hiccanna-tidbits · 3 years

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Hiccanna--100 OTP Questions, Part 2

So I said I would finish this OTP question meme someday--and I decided, entirely on random impulse, that “someday” is today!!! My Hiccanna-centered account has not been producing enough Hiccanna content lately, and this simply WILL not do.

QUESTION SOURCE: https://the-moon-dust-writings.tumblr.com/post/159857601812/100-otp-questions

LINK TO PART 1: https://hiccanna-tidbits.tumblr.com/post/635744326176129024/hiccanna-100-otp-questions-meme-part-1 51. Does either of them know how to fight? I mean...canonically yeah, they both do??? Lol I mean Hiccup has his fire sword and obviously would know how to fight with the weapons he makes/invents, and Anna literally just instinctively grabs a sword to protect her buddies in Frozen 2 and I mean we all really love Sword Anna anyways and also she PUNCHES A MAN OFF OF A BOAT so long story short yes they can both fight 52. What do they do for Valentines Day? Anna rents a rom-com and pulls Hiccup down onto their couch to watch it with her, and he kinda internally groans because he figures it’ll be something super sappy and cheesy and Anna will just be squealing with delight the whole time. Legit as soon as the first scene begins, Anna begins brutally roasting the main couple. Turns out it’s a really terrible rom-com and Anna rented it solely to make fun of it. Hiccup is like “aight this definitely wasn’t what I was expecting but I’m on board” Also Hiccup gets Anna like 3 boxes of fancy chocolate because...do I really need to explain? Anna gets Hiccup a particularly aesthetic floral arrangement for their kitchen table, something she knows damn well he secretly likes but would never admit XD 53. Who swears more? Anna, for sure. This tends to surprise people, but Anna is actually a notorious pottymouth when she gets comfortable XD Hiccup has a pretty big and borderline pretentious vocabulary, and so he tends to express his frustration in more...articulate ways when things don’t go his way. Like he’d stub his toe and just say “wow, I’d literally rather saw off my other leg than have to deal with this right now” while Anna, in the same situation, would let loose every curse word known to man XD 54. Who has the better comebacks? Hiccup, absolutely. His smart-ass comments to every conceivable situation on earth go absolutely unmatched. Anna can’t help but envy how he can almost instinctually pull out a near-perfect snide remark within seconds, whilst she, at best, thinks of the ideal comeback in the shower 3 days later. 55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale? I feel like Anna would seek out the most passive-aggressive, bitchy, entitled Karen and just wait with barely-concealed anticipation for her to say something super awful so Anna can just nail her in the face right in front of all the other moms Hiccup and their kids, meanwhile, can’t help but be awed at their wife/mother’s impressive Right Hook 56. Who reads buzzfeed? Anna. Hiccup keeps being like “you know half the stuff on there is total bullshit, right?” and Anna just shrugs like “who cares? It’s entertaining!” 57. Who is the hopeless romantic? Anna, good god, ANNA. After the whole Hans debacle I imagine she’s a bit more subdued about so openly showing this part of her personality, but at heart she just can’t stop being a romantic. Once Hiccup catches wind of this, he naturally makes a point of frequently surprising her with Grand Romantic Gestures and such, which makes Anna’s entire face go bright fuckin red as she cries out “NO STOP WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS YOU’RE TOO NICE” 58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand? Nope! They’d both fall on their faces and it would be hilarious. 59. Who can rap better? I love the idea of them both being looped into a rap battle somehow and Anna just dreading it immensely because she figures they both really suck and then when it’s their turn Hiccup comes out and busts out the BEST, MOST SAVAGE RHYMES Anna has ever heard COMPLETELY ad lib and the poor girl just goes completely catatonic with shock for like 10 minutes. 60. Do either of them want to go sky diving? See initially I was gonna say Hiccup definitely would not because it would give the poor boy an anxiety attack, but then I remembered he basically skydives in canon??? And Anna strikes me as a bit of adrenaline junkie too, so fuck it--yeah, I think they’d both enjoy it. 61. What do they usually text about? They talk a lot about movies, games, books, and shows they both like, I imagine--Hiccup especially likes to overanalyze them to ridiculous extents and Anna thinks this is adorable. The rest of the time, they send each other dumb memes and talk about random animal fun facts. Anna likes to brag that her boyfriend knows more lizard trivia than anyone else on the planet, and how many lizard facts does YOUR boyfriend know? Probably little to none, you big loser. 62. Who is the dramatic one? Anna is INCREDIBLY dramatic. Although Hiccup certainly does have a “dramatic flair,” as he puts it, I still think Anna can out-dramatic him, at the end of the day XD Although perhaps admittedly not by much. 63. Is either one confrontational? Anna certainly can be. She’s usually pretty friendly, but if she ever feels like she’s being challenged, demeaned, mocked, or generally not taken seriously, she’s ready to go to WAR. She certainly not as soft as she might look! I imagine there’s situations where someone is being a dick to either Anna or someone else and Hiccup has to physically hold her back to keep her from just decking them XD 64. What is their favourite cuddle position? Probably just good old-fashioned spooning. Hiccup actually really loves being the little spoon (because Anna just makes him feel so damn safe), but he is loathe to admit it. They also have one I like to call the “Needy Cat,” where Anna just goes and completely drapes herself over Hiccup when he’s sitting on the couch. He’s usually in the middle of doing something else, and is forced to find ways to play video games/read his book/watch his show around Anna XD 65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)? Hiccup has exactly 3 music moods--pretentious classical stuff (to listen to while working on inventions), obscure underground 90s hipster bands no one’s heard of (to play air guitar to when no one else is home), and some more well-known emo/alt rock stuff (to sing along to in the car dramatically). I can see him liking Panic! at the Disco, The Killers, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, that kinda stuff. Anna, meanwhile, likes the trashiest, most generic-sounding pop music and refuses to apologize for dancing to it in the car XD She is most DEFINITELY a Swiftie, no question. She also likes some “edgier” bands like Paramore and Hey Monday. She went through a hardcore Avril Lavigne phase in middle school and she still totally listens to her but is embarrassed to say it. Also I feel like Anna would be into 90s/early 2000s boy bands??? She relates to the boys’ endless pining and just flips the genders in her head so the songs are about Hiccup (before they start dating obs) XD I AM DEFINITELY NOT SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE HERE, NO SIR 66. What are their parenting styles? Anna would probably be like...kind of stern, when she needs to be, but intensely nurturing as well, if her relationship with Elsa is anything to go by. Hiccup would be a pretty laid-back, chill dad who would probably try too hard to be cool and make no end of absolutely horrible dad jokes XD They both lowkey seem like the kind of parents who would end up letting their kids get away with a lot though lmao 67. Who would be the more laid back one? Hiccup probably. I mean, he IS the pacifist/diplomat guy, besides have you MET Anna??? Girl absolutely has NO chill. 68. Who listens to more vulgar music? Anna, surprisingly! Hiccup just kinda enjoys what he enjoys and doesn’t really feel the need to “prove” anything by listening to songs that swear a lot. Anna purposely listens to vulgar music to feed her hidden rebellious side and because it makes her feel badass XD She honestly kinda hates being written off as 100% wholesome and innocent all the time and will readily pull out the “I’M NOT A SWEET LITTLE FLOWER I SANG ALONG TO THAT SONG THAT JUST SAID FUCK SEE” line whenever given even the slightest chance XD 69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know? Kind of depends on when in both their timelines they meet. If they meet in the middle of HTTYD 1 or Frozen 1, they probably wouldn’t tell the other right away that they have a dragon and an ice-powered supersister, respectively XD I definitely think they would as they came to trust each other, though. Also I read a headcanon that Hiccup has burn scars from the Red Death incident where he lost his leg, and that’s why he wears so much armor and generally long sleeves--and I kind of love that. So maybe Hiccup would be cagey with Anna about how he lost his leg and that whole incident for a while before he finally opens up to her about it. Other than that I feel like they’d be pretty honest with one another, other than maybe trying to hide the more embarrassing parts of themselves to impress the other person XD 70. Who is their go to couple for a double date? Jackunzel, obviously! They’d probably all go to an arcade or an amusement park or something else pretty fun and high-energy. 71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date? I mean yes, they’re not huge assholes????? 72. How do they work out a fight? I imagine Anna tends to get more worked up and yelley and loud, while Hiccup doesn’t raise his voice much at all but can say some damn cutting things if he wants to. Since Anna probably gets angrier, I imagine she apologizes first, whether or not the fight was actually on her or not--it’s just kinda this girl’s default to apologize for everything XD She’d probably say sorry for yelling and probably overreacting, while Hiccup would also be EXTREMELY apologetic if he realized he crossed a line with one of his jabs at her. I imagine a lot of what they fight about is Anna doing some impulsive Dumb Shit^TM and Hiccup just being like “oh god DAMMIT that’s DANGEROUS you can’t just go WORRYING me like that!!!” and Anna getting offended because she kinda views this as him being a little overprotective and not trusting her to make her own decisions. Ironically, Anna occasionally also gets mad at HICCUP for doing Impulsive Dumb Shit, so he’s not always nearly as much the Voice of Reason as he thinks XD Hiccup also sometimes gets mad at Anna for not taking better care of herself (take it from a fellow ADHDer--we tend to Wallow in Despair sometimes, or straight-up forget to do basic care things like eat lunch XD)--I have an IRL friend who reminds me a lot of Hiccup and he’s ALWAYS getting on my case about not eating enough, not drinking enough water, constantly berating myself, stuff like that. I imagine Hiccup sometimes slips into Mom Mode with Anna when she gets in a bad spot, which she appreciates after the fact but kind of annoys her at the time because she wants really badly to be independent and all that. Basically TL;DR most of Anna and Hiccup’s fights can be resolved by Anna and Hiccup agreeing to next time Use A Brain Cell before they do a thing, or Anna agreeing to take better care of herself XD 73. Who brings home an illegal pet? In literally every AU possible I like to think that Hiccup brings home some variation of illegal pet XD I mean, it’s probably just a dragon (”just a dragon” is never a string of words I imagined myself using in that order like what do you mean JUST a dragon lmao) in a standard crossover timeline, which he basically does in canon, but I do love the idea of a modern AU Hiccup showing up to their apartment with some kind of weird exotic monitor lizard from Bali and being like “I found him in an alley, he’s gonna live with us now” and Anna is like “D: Is someone gonna arrest you???” And Hiccup is like “Nah, no cops followed me home” and Anna’s like “Okay!!! :D” and then goes to PetSmart to buy a big fluffy bed for her new scaled friend XD 74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on? I honestly don’t think either would care much, and they usually sleep in a tangled-up mess anyways so by morning you can’t really tell who started on which side XD 75. What is their favorite photo of them two together? One from before they got together: I’m just imagining a big group photo with the Entire Squad (Rapunzel, Jack, Merida, Moana, etc.), and Anna has her arms laced around Hiccup’s neck and her chin on his shoulder and a GIANT smirk on her face. Meanwhile Hiccup is laughing and trying to push her off, but his cheeks are BRIGHT fucking red and he’s trying really unsuccessfully to hide it because he’s a pale boi. Anna loves it because you can so CLEARLY see Hiccup’s blush, and she loves to tease him about how flustered he got around her. Hiccup loves it because it reminds him of what was probably the first time Anna was THAT openly cuddly with him, and how exhilarated and giddy he felt the first time he had her that close to him. 76. Who takes longer in the bathroom? Probably Hiccup, if only because I HC him as a bit of a germophobe who is a tiny bit obsessive about washing his hands sufficiently. 77. Who has more songs on their ipod? Anna, mainly because literally every time she hears a song she likes she’s like “!!!!! Gotta download it!!!!” LITERALLY EVERY TIME. And she wonders why her ipod is always running out of space XD 78. What movie did they first see together? As of the Modern AU Hiccanna one-shot I wrote ages ago, Revenge of the Ancient Dragon Masters! XD If we’re talking movies that actually exist, I imagine it would be a Marvel movie, a Star Wars movie, or some super-fancy-CGI high fantasy epic. 79. What do they like to see each other in? You mean like...which of the other’s outfits would they find the sexiest??? Aight, I’ll take a stab at this. Anna gets literally SO fuckin thirsty every time Hiccup wears his dragon rider outfit (the one from HTTYD 2), like it shows off his cute skinny body in the most perfect possible way whilst making him look like a badass and oh how Anna DREAMS of feeling him up in that! (One day, she finally gets to! XD) She’s also very into the scale armor from HTTYD 3 when she’s in...a very different kind of mood XD As for Hiccup, his favorite outfits of Anna’s are probably her coronation dress and her queen dress, mainly because he loves how she looks in green. He also really likes her travel outfit from Frozen 2, mainly because it’s sexy AND practical and damn, he’s gotta admit, that’s a nice shade of purple and she absolutely SLAYS in it XD 80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times? Honestly both of them??? Like neither are great at picking up social cues, and Anna canonically DOES do this in Frozen! (Remember her comment about ice-selling being “a rough business to be in right now”???) I can see both of them attempting to lighten a tense mood by making an ill-timed joke, hoping to make things less uncomfortable, and they end up making everything MORE uncomfortable XD Honestly sue me, I love the idea of these two idiots bonding over how terrible they are with social cues in general 81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children? I imagine not til like...their early 30s, if ever. Like I mentioned in the first part of the questionaire, I actually am not sure if they would even want to have kids at all, but if they DID decide to, it definitely wouldn’t be until they’re older and have settled down a bit, and have (somewhat) gotten both of their lives together. 82. What do they love about each other the most? Hiccup loves Anna’s energy and optimism, and how she’ll basically cheer him on and believe in him with all her being no matter how high the odds are stacked against him. And oh boy does he LOVE how hard she can kick ass when push comes to shove, and how goddamn overprotective she is of him. The sword skills and the general willingness to punch problematic people in the face are definitely up there as well. She’s like the perfect blend of fun and badass, and there’s never a dull moment with her for him. Anna adores Hiccup’s connection with animals and general animal skills, especially with the more less-loved and “scary” of the world’s creatures (i.e. dragons lol). She also loves and admires the shit out of his intelligence and inventiveness, and wishes she could make contraptions half as cool as what he turns out. And, of course, she loves that he’s a pretty humble dude who's actually pretty insecure about his accomplishments, and isn’t some cocky guy wanting to shove them in everyone’s face. And, of course, she loves his sarcasm and his dry sense of humor, and few people can make her laugh as hard as Hiccup can. Before she met him, she had no idea pessimism could be this entertaining XD 83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus’s on the small details? Hiccup is very detail-oriented--he has to be, in order to make any of his contraptions work! Anna is very much focused on the big picture and gets stressed and exasperated trying to keep track of details--she figures she’ll either sort through the details as she goes, or Hiccup will help do it for her XD 84. What would they write on their partner’s social media’s for their anniversary? One of my IRL friends wrote “Happy anniversary bro, you’re pretty great” on his girlfriend’s instagram for their anniversary, and she wrote back “Happy anniversary, you’re a good buddy, I love you” and I just XD That’s the EXACT kind of weird dorky nonsense I can see Hiccup and Anna doing for their anniversary tbh 85. Who is bad at math? Anna, bless her soul, needs a calculator for literally EVERYTHING. Hiccup kinda trained himself to be decent at doing math in his head, since he often has to calculate measurements for his inventions and whatnot, but Anna is absolutely atrocious at it and generally would like overly-complicated numbers to not be anywhere near her. 86. Who googles everything? Probably Anna, mainly because she’s pretty forgetful and doesn’t trust her own memory half the time so she feels the need to verify everything on the internet XD 87. Who does stuff on impulse? Anna 100% canonically does, although Hiccup has some shades of this too more than he would ever admit, in fact, for someone claiming to be the Voice of Reason 88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation? Hiccup’s approach is probably just to try and distract Anna and take her mind off of it, which he’ll do by either trying to make her laugh, telling her a story, or explaining one of his inventions to her (which she never gets bored with btw, because everything that boy gushes about is fascinating to her <3). Basically he figures if he entertains her enough, it’ll take her mind off of whatever is freaking her out and she won’t fixate on it as much. Anna’s approach is more to accentuate the positives in a bad situation (although like I mentioned in Part 1, not really in a condescending “count your blessings, it could be worse!” kind of way, but more in a “I hope he’ll feel better if he focuses on happy things” kind of way, if that makes any sense?) and also focus on when Hiccup DID do great and utterly kick ass and tell him he’s always better than he thinks he is. 89. What is an inside joke they have? If anything, him calling her “Tiger” as a pet name (which I think I mentioned briefly in Part 1??? Can’t remember) is this, because in my mind it developed because whenever Anna is about to do some Dumb Shit, or punch someone she really shouldn’t in the face, Hiccup has to physically hold her back like “Whoa, slow down there, Tiger!” This happens so frequently that eventually it just gets shortened to him nicknaming her “Tiger” and all their friends are kind of baffled as to why XD 90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all? Hiccup barely even needs to start talking in funny accents or imitating his dad before Anna is just DYING laughing. She thinks he’s the funniest damn person on earth. He honestly gets a kick out of her impressions too--she can do some pretty amusing ones, if that deleted coronation dress-up scene from Frozen 1 is anything to go by. So the feeling is mutual!!! They’re super good at making each other smile and laugh with little to no effort!!! 91. What is their favourite holiday? I feel like Anna especially would get REALLY into Christmas/Yule, mainly because of how much Elsa can spice it up with her powers. And judging by the OFA short, Arendelle gets very hyped for the holidays in general, so it’s probably hard NOT to have a good time. Anna probably also like Mayday a lot because the dancing, the spring cheeriness, and the flower-related festivities are definitely to her taste. Hiccup just likes the energy and general vibes, and would rather sit back and relax and watch Anna dance around and have fun XD Also dun best believe they BOTH get hella into Halloween, because they’re dramatic motherfuckers who loves to dress up, and it gives Anna an excuse to buy a shitton of chocolate and eat all the leftovers XD 92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive? Lmao Anna is definitely the “berserker” of the two of them. She DOES tend to get destructive when she’s angry, if being ready to fight a giant-ass snowman and smacking a wolf in the face with a lute is anything to go by. Hiccup is definitely the calm and collected one, and very rarely gets genuinely angry. 93. What is their favourite board game to play? Does Dungeons and Dragons count??? I can totally imagine Hiccup being hyped up over that or some other super nerdy RPG game and being so enthused to show it to Anna, who just falls even more in love with him after seeing how EXCITED he gets about it. Of course he’s super eager to teach her, and TBH Anna has a really hard time getting it at first because DAMN these rules are COMPLICATED, but after she finally gets the hang of it, she realizes she absolutely LOVES DnD and RPG games in general (I mean...have you SEEN OFA??? Girl gets just a little TOO into reminiscing about her old play-pretend toys XD) and she and Hiccup constantly geek out about it together. 94. Who accidental sets something on fire? Anna, 100% also this is an ever funnier question if applied to Hiccanna in my Fire!Anna AU 95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store? Anna is waiting while Hiccup robs the store, if for no other reason than that Hiccup is much better at Stealth Mode than Anna is XD Anna’s uncoordinated ass would probably knock over like 5 shelves’ worth of merchandise before reaching what they were actually trying to rob XD 96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert? I M A G I N E D R A G O N S lmao Look what can I say Anna likes the Imagine and Hiccup likes the Dragons 97. Who sleep talks? Hiccup. He mumbles about dragons a lot. Sometimes he jolts awake randomly and just yells out “THE DRAGONS ARE IN TROUBLE!” and Anna has to calm him down after she dutifully manages to not burst into laughter at this. Doubly funny if this takes place in a Modern AU. 98. Who is the more social one? Anna! Hiccup generally prefers to either keep to himself or hang out with animals. 99. What are their karaoke songs? For some reason I feel like anything by P!nk??? Idk why, but I can see them like rocking out and singing along to p!nk songs together and getting really into it. Also basically anything by The Killers and, at Anna’s request, The Chainsmokers (Hiccup thinks this is very basic music indeed but goes along with it for her sake XD). AND “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons. And they sing it LOUD. 100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh? Highkey both of them??? I kinda feel like Hiccup moreso though, if his little comedy routine imitating his dad in HTTYD2 is anything to go off of. He definitely wouldn’t be averse to making an idiot of himself to amuse Anna, especially since she’s so damn cute when she laughs. Anna, for her part, loves returning the favor, and is all about trying to do all sorts of Goofy Antics to amuse her boyfriend. And she’s overdramatic af, so she gets WAY too into it XD

#hiccanna #hiccup x anna #anna x hiccup #hiccup #anna #otp questions #hiccupxanna #annaxhiccup #rotbtd #rotbtfd #httyd #frozen #crossover #hiccup haddock #princess anna #queen anna

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ohsh-arat · 3 years

Text

Domestic (Head)canons

Note: ahhhh very first post headcanons/canon post of my ocs because I love them! Lowkey this helps me remember little things about them since my brain is rusty as hell (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`) also there’s a lot of silly canons and some involve with reader <3

————————————————————————————————————————

— Kunio Omezo —

☀︎︎ As an assassin, he’s been going through missions to missions nonstop; but the thing is with him, if you text him ‘there’s no food at home’; straight up Door Dash to your front door all bloody,,, while holding bag of fast foods in hand. A mission wouldn’t stop him from bringing you food.

☀︎︎ Kunio has the habit to switch from English to Japanese when he’s frustrated. But when he’s really pissed off he would really bring out his native language and sprinkle in English in the most aggressive way (But he mostly a cool head man so no need to worry about him).

☀︎ ︎But if he ends up being frustrations or depress, he would workout or bake right at home. He tried drawing and painting but that ended horribly for him since he can’t do artsy stuff (just for experience yknow?).

☀︎ He has this habit where he would fiddle his thumbs together when he’s excited. It’s honestly cute because a cold and deadly assassin with a stoic demeanor, fiddling his thumbs just out of excitement.

☀︎︎ Highkey enjoys his hair getting all ruffled up. Just the feeling of someone just semi aggressive rubbing his head makes him oddly relax in a way. But also slow head strokes would make him melt even more (bonus if he ‘purrs’).

☀︎︎ Kunio… Oh Kunio… he has a thing for fluffy things (but in secret). Wondering where he went? Just check the bedroom and congratulation! You found him in a cocoon of extra fluffy blankets. But once he walks up seeing you stand there in amaze and awe, he would be very embarrassed.

☀︎︎ “you better not tell anyone about this...”

☀︎︎ He got himself the best voice when it comes to singing, I mean he loves to sing though he’s a little embarrassed to do it in front of others. But he’s 100% down to sing you to sleep!

☀︎︎ His skin care routine is unbeatable, he spends more time in the bathroom way more than probably any guys. He likes to make himself look presentable and just having the slightest bump would irritate the crap out of him. So if you or anyone walk into the living room seeing Kunio on the couch just sitting there his hair slicked back with those headbands and clay mask on his face; he would look honestly unfazed for someone walking in.

☀︎︎ Kunio was thinking about owning a pet but… it was proven difficult because of his job as an assassin so he subsitute that idea with a house plant instead! He owns a aloe vera plant and monstera deliciosa (Swiss cheese plant). He named them Alen (Aloe) and Wendy (Swiss) for fun.

☀︎︎ He has a very strong sweet tooth, his favorite sweets are mochi! (A bonus if they’re animal shaped mochi because it’s a very special memory connected to his mom). He could go on for days eating sweets after sweets but he rather avoid diabetes.

☀︎︎ But hey, it you like sweets as well then say less, Kunio would drop some store bought sweets from your favorite local shop or even homemade sweets from him!

☀︎︎ Kunio wouldn’t consider himself the best cook but just hanging out and cook together would make him happy. But when it comes to baking, oh man you summoned the baking god. Seriouly though, he grew up baking sweets and treats with his mom so don’t be surprised to see some cute bakery sweets come out all great looking!

————————————————————————————————————————

— Owen Fitzgerald —

☀︎︎ Owen a big ass cuddle bug, I mean he loves hugging people in general but just cuddling— it makes him so giddy inside (imagine a dog wagging its tail)

☀︎︎ He own one of those soft LED animal night light as a source of light for reading and having a friend as well! (His little friend is a LED Dino that can changes colors)

☀︎︎ When he was introduce to snacks like gold fish, pringles, pocky, gummy bears, etc. he became addicted; just discover a stash of snacks under his coat or even hoodies (if he switch to casual attire) and he’ll start sprinting to his room.

☀︎︎ “No! You are not taking my mini meals” *sprints off*

☀︎︎ Tech stuff obviously wasn’t a thing back in the 19th century, when he was introduced to futuristic, cutting edge technologies; it literally blew his brain into pieces (also fried some of his brain cells since explaining was covered under seconds). Couple months back when he discover Tik Tok, he can’t stop himself from being on that app and…. he accidentally got himself famous :)

☀︎︎ trashbin8 baby~ *wink wink*

☀︎︎ “🎤sawarasenai🥰kimi😸wa⛓shoujo👻na💅no✨böKù🌸Wâ🧚ÿARiçHiñ🤴BįCChī😾ńO😩oSû🚣Dà🎉YO💦”

☀︎ ︎Someone take Tik Tok away from him and don’t let him search up what the lyric mean ;nervous;

☀︎︎ No doubt Owen would be super invested in memes and will probably send either extremely wholesome or extremely curse memes at 3am because he loves you <3 (there’s no between).

☀︎︎ After spending weeks and weeks with his phone, he might have develop some a taste for lofi music. He couldn’t help himself but it really helped him read, write, or even just chilling.

☀︎︎ Talk about chilling, you would find him sitting outside on top of a roof and just soaking up the sunlight as the sun sets. Sometimes he’ll ask to join him and hey guess what, he bring snacks and drinks as well.

☀︎︎ Honestly loves tackling people for some reason (as a playful thing ofc) but he’s also ticklish as well ;eyes; if you get yourself in that situation, just tickle his waist and he’ll become a tea kettle. The more you tickle him the more he’ll laugh but also plea for mercy (and a bit of sobbing action).

☀︎︎ Tbh if you spare him... Owen would really say ’Peace was never an option’ and straight up tackle you again as a payback

☀︎︎ Owen reads old literature like A Study in Scarlet, Atlanta in Calydon, and The Ordeal of Richard Feverel. But he grew invested into reading manga, then later into watching Anime.

☀︎︎ ”This is way more entertaining than all the books i’ve been reading my entire life!?” *display the book as he flip through all the pages*

☀︎︎ what a chaotic man he is

————————————————————————————————————————

Note: I think I could do better but I’m too tired to think at the moment🏃🏻‍♀️💨

#✍︎︎ OSR canon/headcanon

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bigfan-fanfic · 5 years

Text

Far From Home (Male!Reader x Peter Parker)

Requested by Anonymous for #21 from “Ideas Bumping Around”

Note: This totally got away from me and evolved into something else. Hope you like!

It’s kind of a strange feeling never to have met your boyfriend in person.

You met as part of an e-Pen Pal initiative for schools nationwide. You two were matched at random and started talking over email, exchanging school pictures.

It’s fun for you. You don’t have a lot of other friends - Peter’s an escape for you, always being there to talk to you.

You’re almost constantly connected. Of course you email each other, but you’ve exchanged numbers and have had an ongoing chat for years. Basically, as long as you are online, you’re in the midst of communicating with him

Peter sometimes uses words, sometimes he expresses himself through meme. Sometimes there is trouble communicating.

Peter sends a GIF he found of a cat getting scared and falling off a shelf.

You: Lol. ???

Peter: It’s you! Scared because you’re old now! Happy birthday!

You: adhafonhaf THX PETE

And after a few years of being best friends despite never having met in person, he sends you a GIF of two puppies cuddling.

You: Adorable! *Heart emojis*

Long wait. Then:

Peter: Can this be us?

Peter: Will you be my bowling?

Peter: Aadhadohaf

Peter: Bowling

Peter: BOWLING

Peter: B O Y F R I E N D ???

Peter: Sry autocorrect

You: YES. SO MUCH YES!!!!

Text failed. Retry?

Eventually the lines cross, and you exchange short videos of blowing kisses at each other.

Peter feels bad about not telling you about Spider-Man. He has to lie and say he’s been studying paper books because it takes so much time away from you two talking.

And then you offer to tutor him, and he just melts because you’re so sweet and smart and pretty.....

He gets that dreamy look and is distracted for a while.

But eventually something special happens.

You send him a link to a YouTube of Spider-Man talking to an older woman who’s buying him a churro. And then you call.

“Peter. You’re safe, right?”

“Y/N? What do you mean?”

“I mean, I hope Spider-Man isn’t boyfriends with someone who would die for churros, because he’d be pretty ticked off that they weren’t sharing. On an unrelated note, I like churros quite a bit.”

“Uh....”

“Don’t worry, Pete. I just wanted to make sure you’re OK.”

You hang up.

Peter thinks you don’t know.

But you urge him to check out your Tumblr, where you’ve started to occasionally post self-defense articles and first-aid hacks.

Peter sees this and is like, “HE KNOWS!?!?!?!?!”

But you become his long-range support sidekick. He loves you more and more every time you discreetly help him.

Because you know anyone could be monitoring either of you, you’re always the one to bring up Spider-Man stuff, under the guise of you being obsessed with the Queens-based superhero.

Like, “Pete, have you seen this video? Spider-Man nearly got killed by some bank robbers with weird weapons!”

And he’ll say that he heard Spider-Man was okay. It’s completely normal. Everyone your age in New York is talking about him.

And a few days later you mention that you looked at some blog about crime in New York and text a link and a “Stay safe xoxo”

And the article has mentions of crimes using alien weapons and a map of where they are, helping Peter to track down the source.

But the two of you first meet during the events of Homecoming.

You’re on your school’s Scholastic Decathlon team, and you get to go to D.C., where you plan to meet Peter.

And he really wants to, but then he has to try and follow the lead on the alien energy source.

He’s about to leave his room when there’s a knock, and you’re there.

“Y/N?”

“Pete!”

You two hug like you were made for it. Peter sighs a little and leans in, and the two of you share your first kiss, the first of many.

And then you see he’s in his suit.

You don’t take no for an answer, and he has to take you with him. You’re a surprisingly skilled ally.

He’s super strong and carries you as he swings along, and finds out you’re good at hiding wherever he might set you down. You both are trapped on the DODC truck, after you’ve pepper-sprayed the Vulture

It was ineffectual because he was wearing goggles, but it obscured his vision enough for Peter to get the upper hand.

When you are trapped in the warehouse, you and Pete catch up on everything, telling each other everything that didn’t make it into the texts and chats. He tells you about Germany, but is even more interested in you.

You two end up falling asleep, him giving you his Decathlon team sweater to keep warm, snuggling together.

You don’t even get in trouble afterward

Because you were awesome. You had already made sure everyone knew you were gonna meet your boyfriend because you were so excited, and then you convinced your friend who was bunking with you to cover for you once you knew you wouldn’t make it to the Decathlon. He spread the story that you were throwing up all night, and he found Ned and made sure he did the same. No one says anything, but the teachers assume you two snuck out together on a midnight date and got food poisoning or mono or something, and decide to let it go.

After D.C, you promise to meet each other again soon.

And, as always, you keep in touch.

Peter texts you as soon as he’s on the way back to New York

Peter: Y/N?

You: Yeah?

Peter: *heart emojis* I love you.

You send a GIF of a kitten curling up on top of a dog who just lets it happen

You: I love you too.

Peter: You’re the bass

Peter: Base

Peter: B E S T Ilysm

You: Love you more!

#male reader #peter parker x male reader #spiderman x male reader #spiderman headcanons #marvel headcanons #headcanons

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

Text

tgcf lb the third chapter 14 - 21

okay hit me with the lore

Xie Lian hadn’t spoken his next words before the teenager said, “He dug it out himself.” Startled, Xie Lian asked, “Why?” The teen replied, “He went mad.” -digging out your own eye okay worm

If there were demons in this world who would scam or entice the hearts of people, then there would also be humans who would fool demons. There would exist much ongoing exploitation and betrayal. He said, “If it was handed over in infatuation, yet only results in broken bones and scattered ashes, it would indeed render one’s heart to feel aggrieved.” okay also kind of dope i love it when humans and demons get some back and forth. also this feels like it could be foreshadowing

awwww xie lian giving away his only steamed bun what a sweetheart

everyone keeps telling me this book is also a tragedy but now im just laughing at the visual of headless ghosts carrying their heads around and bickering

chronic bad luck and chronic good luck meet... what will happen to our heroes...

Xie Lian raised his head, softly saying, “You are tenacious, extremely dedicated, and despite many bitter encounters with frustrations and dashed hopes, you’ve stayed true to your heart. More often than not, your misfortunes will turn into blessings, calamity to prosperity. You will continue to have good fortune, my friend, your future is radiant and will blossom spectacularly.” All the things he said were made up on the spot, so they were complete nonsense. - fhklasjksldfdfh i know this is a ploy but still this was funny. also why didnt xie lian try to pick up palm reading from another source when he fell? are they just not as good? is he pretentious like that? either way i hope we find out more about what he got up to during those 800 years

Xie Lian felt rather skeptical on how he only ate half a bun for the duration of the entire day. If young people took advantage on their good health like this, sooner or later they would surely end up passed out on the streets. - xie lian is directly calling me out for my quarantine eating habits im sorry king ill do better

Previously, it had always been Xie Lian telling other people ‘it’s alright, it’s okay’. Today was the first time he heard those words spoken back to him, leaving him with an indescribable feeling. - awww okay this got me

oh my god there was only one bed

again comedy of the year. “oh you’re putting up a curtain that repels evil thats so interesting. on an entirely unrelated note im going to make you a door”

Brushing past him, San Lang pulled out the bamboo chopstick. He swayed it twice in front of him before saying, “It got dirty. I’ll throw it out later.” - edgy bastard moments begin

Xie Lian could hear the deliberation win Ling Wen’s tone. One thing he could be sure of was that she must be in a difficult situation. He said, “Okay, I understand. Since this is inconvenient for you, then there’s no need for you to say more. In addition, the two of us never had this conversation in private.” - awwwww considerate crown prince xie lian

“What, do you guys know him?” Xie Lian said. “……” Fu Yao coldly replied, “No we don’t.” - all men do is lie. also love the petty little broom dispute. i know its actually quite intentional and that only makes it funnier. also guys stop wrecking xie lian’s home he just got it fixed up!! if anyone breaks the new door ill be highly disappointed in them

Xie Lian nodded his head. “That’s right. I wrote it. If you guys continued fighting in there, I would be pleading for reconstruction instead of renovation. Then, I would really have no dignity left.” - see xie lian said if youre not going to contribute to it then please dont fight in my monastery its been through enough

Earlier, when Fu Yao had entered, he hadn’t gotten to examine the interior furnishings. Now, after standing in this crooked, shabby house for quite a while, he was able to see it all. As if his entire body, from head to toe, was uncomfortable, he asked, “You live in a place like this?” Xie Lian handed him a chair and said, “I’ve always lived in these kinds of places.” - ive seen this quote before and it really is just that “damn bitch you live this like?” meme. amazing

Fu Yao did not sit, his expression also turning rigid for a second. It was hard to tell what the look on his face was. It seemed nine parts blank shock and one part schadenfreude. - THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE EXPRESSION I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT

In the desert, the difference in temperature between night and day was drastic. During the night, the freezing temperature was cold enough to seep into one’s bones, yet it was still tolerable. But come daytime, it was a whole other experience. The sky here was incredibly clear and expansive with dashes of white clouds, but likewise, the blazing sun was just as fierce. The group continued to walk, but the more they walked, the more it felt as though they were going into an enormous steamer basket. The hot air emitted from deep within the earth felt as though a day’s worth of walking could steam a person alive. - YES DESERTS YES

okay xie lian is so kind and so generous? he keeps giving stuff away when he has almost nothing and making sure that others are taken care of first..... love him

Xie Lian watched them put on airs. But when such airs were discarded, they finally got physical. Separated by the space of the table, the three of them fought with the poor water bottle, pushing it back and forth. - if these three really are who i think they are this is even funnier. the very clear toying thats going on is truly delightful

Even before, Xie Lian had always thought that although this teenager was always smiling, his smile often made it hard for people to distinguish whether it was actually genuine, or whether it was mockery in the guise of compliments. However, this time, anyone would be able to tell that there wasn’t even half an ounce of goodwill in his smile. - yeah that about sums it up. not even half an ounce of goodwill damn that sure the hell is not a lot of goodwill

He had Ruoye go grab onto something sturdy and stable, but Ruoye ended up grabbing onto San Lang! - awwww thats kind of cute. also the mental image... im going to make this its own post too but

im waiting for xie lian to cough up all that sand hes eating and say something funny when we’re back on the ground. i hope we get more very literal decisions from ruoye

It should be noted that there was a common saying within the mortal realm—a powerful dragon cannot crush a snake in its old haunts. - oh i like this and the translators note This is an old Chinese adage that basically means, ‘even a powerful man cannot crush a local bully.’

“General.” Nan Feng and Fu Yao both spoke at the same time, “What?” - CONFIRMED I CALLED IT tbh it was kind of obvious now ig now im just waiting. also again hysterical. if youre gonna hide your identities boys fucking lkafjfjlkdaf; try harder to remember that youre hiding

To be demoted again and again, to the point one couldn’t be demoted any further…… this kind of experience honestly felt too familiar. Xie Lian felt two gazes collectively fall on his body, but he pretended not to notice and continued reading the text on the stone slate. - this is a funny little set up for what seems to be a parallel between xie lian and this central plains general. he tripped on his own bootlace??? this HAS to be xie lian parallel what does it mean. oooh the common people on both sides of the conflict were the ones who commemorated him? interesting..

San Lang faintly smiled before he whispered, “No, I made that up. Since they had laughed at him before, making them kowtow to him now wouldn’t be asking too much, right?” Xie Lian looked and saw that it was really true. There was already no more text left to translate on the stone slate. He had originally wanted to sigh, but now he just found it funny. Thus, he also whispered, “Why are you so cheeky?” San Lang stuck out his tongue. The two of them were laughing when suddenly, someone screamed, “What is this!!!???” - okay they are funny and i respect the deception. also oooh scorpion tailed snake. oooh a horde of them. a classic cave blunder

“Yeah! The results are relatively the same as worshipping that rubbish immortal! The more you worship, the unluckier you become! “ “……” For an arrow to hit the bullseye despite being in a place so distant and unrelated, Xie Lian was left with no words. - oh my god xie lian are you wearing a spiritual “kick me” sign because it really feels like you are

HE GOT STUNG XIE LIAN NO

#i need to take a break from this i got fic to write #tgcf liveblog #mouse mumbles

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imaginerosemary · 4 years

Note

So you have to know Rosemary isn't coming back. Not in Pesterquest, not in Candy, not in Meat. It's done. It's over. You let yourself get queerbaited because you're a moron.

You could talk about them around the proverbial water cooler, taking comfort in their absurdity. “Hey, Johnston, have you seen the picture of that cat? They call it Longcat because it’s long!” “Ha ha, sounds like good fun, Stevenson! That reminds me, I need to show you this webpage I found the other day; it contains numerous animated dancing hamsters. It’s called — you’ll never believe this — hamsterdance!” And then Johnston and Stevenson went on to have a wonderful friendship based on the comfortable banality of self-evident digitized animals.

But then 2007 came, and along with it came I Can Has, and everything was forever ruined. It was hubris, Jane. We did it to ourselves. The minute we added written language, it all went to shit. Suddenly memes had an excess of information to be parsed. It wasn’t just a picture of a cat, perhaps with a simple description appended to it; now the cat spoke to us via a written caption on the picture itself. It referred to an item of food that existed in our world but not in the world of the meme, rupturing the boundary between the two. The cat wanted something. Which forced us to recognize that what it wanted was us, was our attention. WE are the cheezburger, Jane, and we always were. But by the time we realized this, it was too late. We were slaves to the very memes that we had created. We toiled to earn the privilege of being distracted by them. They fiddled while Rome burned, and we threw ourselves into the fire so that we might listen to the music. The memes had us. Or, rather, they could has us.

And it just got worse from there. Soon the cats had invisible bicycles and played keyboards. They gained complex identities, and so we hollowed out our own identities to accommodate them. We prayed to return to the simple days when we would admire a cat for its exceptional length alone, the days when the cat itself was the meme and not merely a vehicle for the complex memetic text. And the fact that this text was so sparse, informal, and broken ironically made it even more demanding. The intentional grammatical and syntactical flaws drew attention to themselves, making the meme even more about the captioning words and less about the pictures. Words, words, words. Wurds werds wordz. Stumbling through a crooked, dead-end hallway of a mangled clause describing a simple feline sentiment was a torture that we inflicted on ourselves daily. Let’s not forget where the word “caption” itself comes from: capio, Latin for both “I understand” and “I capture.” We thought that by captioning the memes, we were understanding them. Instead, our captions allowed them to capture us. The memes that had once been a cure for our cultural ills were now the illness itself.

It goes right back to Phaedrus, really. The Plato dialogue. (You read that, right?) Back in the innocent days of 2006, we naïvely thought that the grapheme had subjugated the phoneme, that the belief in the primacy of the spoken word was an ancient and backwards folly on par with burning witches or practicing phrenology or thinking that Smash Mouth was good. Fucking Smash Mouth. But we were wrong. About the phoneme, I mean. The trickster god Theuth came to us again, this time in the guise of a grinning grey cat. The cat hungered, and so did Theuth. We’d already taken writing from him, so this time he offered us a new choice disguised as a gift. And we greedily took it, again oblivious to the consequences. To borrow the parlance of a contemporary meme, he made us a pharmakon, and we eated it.

Pharmakon, φάρμακον, the Greek word that means both “poison” and “cure,” but, because of the limitations of the English language, can only be translated one way or the other depending on the context and the translator’s whims. No possible translation can capture the full implications of a Greek text including this word. In the Phaedrus, writing is the pharmakon that the trickster god Theuth offers, the toxin and remedy in one. With writing, man will no longer forget; but he will also no longer think. A double-edged (s)word, if you will. But the new iteration of the pharmakon is the meme. Specifically, the post-I-Can-Has memescape of 2007 onward. And it was the language that did it, Jane. The addition of written language twisted the remedy into a poison, flipped the pharmakon on its invisible axis.

In retrospect, it was in front of our eyes all along. Meme. The noxious word was given to us by who else but those wily ancient Greeks themselves. μίμημα, or mīmēma. Defined as an imitation, a copy. The exact thing Plato warned us against in the Republic. Remember? The simulacrum that is two steps removed from the perfection of the original by the process of — note the root of the word — mimesis. The Platonic ideal of an object is the source: the father, the sun, the ghostly whole. The corporeal manifestation of the object is one step removed from perfection. The image of the object (be it in letters or in pigments) is two steps removed. The author is inferior to the craftsman is inferior to God.

Writing itself is the archetypical pharmakon and the archetypical copy, if you’ll come back with me to the Phaedrus (if we ever really left it). Speech is the real deal, Socrates says, with a smug little wink to his (written) dialogic buddy. Speech is alive, it can defend itself, it can adapt and change. Writing is its bastard son, the mimic, the dead, rigid simulacrum. Writing is a copy, a mīmēma, of truth in speech. To return to our analogous issue: the image of the cat that wants the cheezburger, the copy of the picture-copy-copy, is so much closer to its original Platonic ideal (Godcat) than the written language that accompanies it is to its own (speech). (“Pharmakon” can also mean “paint.” Think about it, Jane. Just think about it.) The image is still fake, but it’s the caption on the cat that is the downfall of the republic, the real fakeness, which is both realer and faker than whatever original it is that it represents.

Men and gods abhor the lie, Plato says in sections 382 a and b of the Republic.

#long post #i didn't read this message i just wanted you to remember longcat :)#rosemary hate anon #that one guy

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cdpdoodler · 5 years

Text

What she says: I'm fine

What she means: Remember Longcat, Jane? I remember Longcat. Fuck the picture on this page, I want to talk about Longcat. Memes were simpler back then, in 2006. They stood for something. And that something was nothing. Memes just were. “Longcat is long.” An undeniably true, self-reflexive statement. Water is wet, fire is hot, Longcat is long. Memes were floating signifiers without signifieds, meaningful in their meaninglessness. Nobody made memes, they just arose through spontaneous generation; Athena being birthed, fully formed, from her own skull.

Men and gods abhor the lie, Plato says in sections 382 a and b of the Republic.

οὐκ οἶσθα, ἦν δ᾽ ἐγώ, ὅτι τό γε ὡς ἀληθῶς ψεῦδος, εἰ οἷόν τε τοῦτο εἰπεῖν, πάντες θεοί τε καὶ ἄνθρωποι μισοῦσιν; πῶς, ἔφη, λέγεις; οὕτως, ἦν δ᾽ ἐγώ, ὅτι τῷ κυριωτάτῳ που ἑαυτῶν ψεύδεσθαι καὶ περὶ τὰ κυριώτατα οὐδεὶς ἑκὼν ἐθέλει, ἀλλὰ πάντων μάλιστα φοβεῖται ἐκεῖ αὐτὸ κεκτῆσθαι.

“Don't you know,” said I, “that the veritable lie, if the expression is permissible, is a thing that all gods and men abhor?” “What do you mean?” he said. “This,” said I, “that falsehood in the most vital part of themselves, and about their most vital concerns, is something that no one willingly accepts, but it is there above all that everyone fears it.” Man’s worst fear is that he will hold existential falsehood within himself. And the verbal lies that he tells are an incarnation of this fear; Plato elaborates: “the falsehood in words is a copy of the affection in the soul, an after-rising image of it and not an altogether unmixed falsehood.” A copy of man’s flawed internal copy of truth. And what word does Plato use for “copy” in this sentence? That’s fucking right, μίμημα. Mīmēma. Mimesis. Meme. The new meme is a lie, manifested in (written) words, that reflects the lack of truth, the emptiness, within the very soul of a human. The meme is now not only an inferior copy, it is a deceptive copy.

But just wait, it gets better. Plato continues in the very next section of the Republic, 382 c. Sometimes, he says, the lie, the meme, is appropriate, even moral. It is not abhorrent to lie to your enemy, or to your friend in order to keep him from harm. “Does it [the lie] not then become useful to avert the evil—as a medicine?” You get one fucking guess for what Greek word is being translated as “medicine” here. Ding ding goddamn ding, you got it, φάρμακον, pharmakon. The μίμημα is a φάρμακον, the lie is a medicine/poison, the meme is a pharmakon.

But I’m sure that by now you’ve realized the (intentional) mistake in my argument that brought us to this point. I said earlier that the addition of written language to the meme flipped the pharmakon on its axis. But the pharmakon didn’t flip, it doesn’t have an axis. It was always both remedy and poison. The fact that this isn’t obvious to us from the very beginning of the discussion is the fault of, you guessed it, language. The initial lie (writing) clouds our vision and keeps us from realizing how false the second-order lie (the meme) is.

The very structure of the lying meme mirrors the structure of the written word that defines and corrupts it. Once you try to identify an “outside” in order to reveal the lie, the whole framework turns itself inside-out so that you can never escape it. The cat wants the cheezburger that exists outside the meme, but only through the meme do we become aware of the presumed existence of the cheezburger — we can’t point out the absurdity of the world of the meme without also indicting our own world. We can’t talk about language without language, we can’t interpret memes without mimesis. Memes didn’t change between ’06 and ’07, it was us who changed. Or rather, our understanding of what we had always been changed. The lie became truth, the remedy became the poison, the outside became the inside. Which is to say that the truth became lie, the pharmakon was always the remedy and the poison, and the inside retreated further inside. It all came full circle. Because here’s the secret, Jane. Language ruined the meme, yes. But language itself had already been ruined. By that initial poisonous, lying copy. Writing. The First Pharmakon. The First Meme.

Language didn’t attack the meme in 2007 out of spite. It attacked it to get revenge.

Longcat is long. Language is language. Pharmakon is pharmakon. The phoneme topples the grapheme, witches ride through the night, our skulls hide secret messages on their surfaces, Smash Mouth is good after all. Hey now, you’re an all-star. Get your game on.

Go play.

#blab #homestuck #hs #dirk strider #detective pony #jane crocker #long post #100

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