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#because people used to behave
heybiji · 3 months
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dandelion casually dropping traumatic information while insisting that instead of killing the problem wizard they simply burn his tongue
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r0semultiverse · 30 days
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kabutoden · 2 months
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if aradia's death was just in-character for a long roleplay, what's the deal with tavros and terezi's disabilities? did vriska have anything to do with them?
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She Did Do Those Things. vriska no!!!!!!
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watcherintheweyr · 4 days
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desperately need people to understand that alicent is a victim but she’s also an abuser and a perpetrator
that she actively makes choices to harm other women because of jealousy and envy and the greed deep in her bones because submitting to suffering didn’t get her what those women fight to grasp for themselves.
she is absolutely a victim, in show.
that doesn’t change that she abused rhaenyra and her children, her own son, most likely helaena given how she flinches every time her mother touches her, and is actively weaponizing the patriarchy of westeros against other women- rhaenyra primarily, but also mysaria and dyana.
she isn’t the moral, righteous force of good that even she thinks she is, she’s a wounded woman directing all of the rot, pain, and fury inside her at the wrong people and forces.
#anti team green stans#anti team green#anti alicent hightower stans#i don’t wanna say it’s anti alicent bc honestly it’s more ‘accept her for who she is bc she’s so much more complex and interesting when you#but i made this bc someone genuinely tried to say that the reason people hate her is that they don’t see her as a victim#most rational people know show!alicent is a victim#it’s the point that’s she’s an abuser as well#that makes them dislike her#that she’s a hypocrite and a traitor#i don’t even like young alicent bc i don’t at all think she was a good friend to rhaenyra#‘it’s not your place to question the plots of lords and men’ to the named heir#dismisses rhaenyra’s hopes and idealism entirely out of hand#is baffled that rhaenyra is more worried for her fathers happiness and mother’s wellbeing than her position#she knew as early as ep 3 that otto was conspiring against rhaenyra and never told anyone#condemns ‘targaryen customs’ only to wed her daughter to her son even younger than she was when otto dangled her before viserys#acts entitled to rhaenyras secrets whilst condemning and judgemental even though she did not give rhaenyra that same courtesy#made no attempt at apology for the insensitive comment of aegon’s birth#though rhaenyra DID try to apologize for the ‘imprisoned in a castle’ line and tried to comfort her#uses her power as queen to push past the space rhaenyra is trying to create because she feels heartbroken and betrayed#rhaenyra took part in alicent’s culture with prayer at alicent’s urging because she cared about alicent and alicent was trying to help her#alicent is never once shown to return that favor instead condemning it for ‘queerness’ and growing to later#erase and remove all targaryen and valyrian heraldry from the red keep to replace with her own#like alicent is a victim and i DO have empathy for her. but i don’t like her and never will#especially not after the way her stans behave#she deserved better than otto’s machinations and viserys’…. viserysness#but that can also be true whilst i condemn her actions and behaviors
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d1sc01nf3rn0 · 24 days
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I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.
#like im sorry dude did you think all autism is “anime obsessed dude”?#how did you think neurodivergent people behaved on old times?#also like#being unintentionally insensitive is almost a telltale sign of autism cause you struggle with social cues#if anything i think a lot of you are finally habing to face your own internalized predjudices#“he is annoying” yes that's how ableist neurotypical people talk about us all the time tell me something i haven't heard already#like how do i explain to you that a lot of neurotypical people tal the exact same eay youre talkbing about laios#and is annoying when they go “but im neurodivergent! i can be biased agaisnt neurodivergent people”#yes you can because being neurodivergent is not a monolith and you are mistifying being neurodivergent#by implying theres some sort of virtue in being under the spectrum when youre as capable of being a dick just as everyone else#like you think you have autism but suddenly wanting to taste things youre not supposed to eat and not remembering peoples names is too much?#some of yall never experienced beinf a “weird kid” at a young age and it shows#and im not talking the “geek bullied” weird kid kinda way#im talking “the adults think I'm weird amd don't know how to deal with me”#WHICH FITS LAIOS PERFECTLY BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SCENE OF HIS DAD SHOWING HIM FALLIN AS A BABY#AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IS THERE NO EXPECTED REACTION FROM LAIOS#anyways im making this rant because is unreal how many posts of this exist#you think Laios is annoying cause he wont shut up?#congratulations thats how most people see us#now get over it or watch other series if you hate it that much#dunmeshi hell thoughts#weird rant i suppose#dungeon meshi#laios touden
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uncanny-tranny · 10 months
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I've been thinking about modesty from a specifically trans lense lately. I was taught that modesty indicates shame, that modesty means you're simultaneously ashamed of being human and having a human body, but also that you are "purer" because you adhere to a hegemonic idea of modesty. Frankly, I just don't agree with this, and it was very much steeped in the idea of specifically christian ideas of modesty.
Before I transitioned, I felt very unprotective of my body because it never felt like mine to begin with. I didn't really care what happened to it, and while I was modest by other people's standards, I certainly didn't feel it. Once I actually started transitioning (and especially on testosterone), I've found that I'm so much more "modest" because I've become protective of my body. There's this stereotype that trans people start "showing themselves off" after transitioning, but I honestly feel the opposite. I'm possessive over my body and exactly how it acts and appears because I actually like my body, and it finally feels like mine. I'm honestly kind of selfish about it, and I think I've earned the right to be.
I made this post because I think this is an interesting topic, and I think it's interesting the ways in which we internalize the influences that be. It's also a reminder that no matter how you feel about things like modesty, you should adhere to what makes the most sense to you and what you are most comfortable with. There are pressures to be modest in this way or that way, but what truly matters is what you decide with your body and yourself.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#modesty#like i was looking into swim pants to wear under my swim trunks because i don't want people to be able to see my legs for example#like... they're MY legs not yours. get your own legs dammit 😡 (joking)#and i found i have no shame about myself since being more 'modest' because i do it out of self-admiration#and personally i have no ties to the hegemonic christian sense of modesty and what i was taught living in a *heavily* christian area#that's not to say i have an issue with christians and what they feel is modest but it's more specifically the shame surrounding modesty#the idea that being modest indicates that you're a 'better person' than those who sin (wearing short shorts or swearing)#that's not inherent to the religion from what i understand but i don't agree with it personally#and i do not believe that modesty (or lack thereof) is an indication of ANYTHING about a person#it doesn't tell you anything about their personality or their interests or what they think#it only tells you how they feel most comfortable existing or behaving and even then you often won't know the complexities of that comfort#i have an issue with the ideas about modesty but i use the word because it is easily understood and it is the language i have available#if there's a better term or word for sure let me know but i haven't been made aware of it 👍#ANYWAY. i just think it's interesting#and if you're experiences are different from mine i genuinely respect you for it and platonically love you#and i hope you feel beautiful/gorgeous/handsome/cool and i hope you are comfortable <3
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if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?
I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.
Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.
Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.
Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.
Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.
Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.
If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.
So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.
#asks#twdg louis#twdg minerva#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg marlon#twdg tenn#honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??'#then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha#also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore#like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it#not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed#for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there#it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like...#that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly#also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but#I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did#like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite#anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good#i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw#like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit#and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification#and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go#he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down#'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m#it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay#this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about#even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks#that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you
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prettyfuckinhot · 8 months
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my honest genuine #real opinion is that anyone who's ever had a serious problem with trans men saying tranny is an ignorant asshole. There's no good reason. Any variation of "it's not about you" is just genuinely wrong. Not only is there tons of historical precedent, there's also violent modern precedent if you paid any attention to trans men at all. Arguments like "look it up on Google images!" are so stupid because using Google images as to who is affected by a transphobic slur is a very, very dumb strategy to live by. Picking out trans men as the people who's language about transphobia you want to police is a bad joke.
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jellypawss · 5 months
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I hate that I’m becoming antipitbull…THREEE of my family/friends in the past few months have been attacked by pitbulls and my cousin had half her face ripped off by one.
I get that it’s an owner issue but also I think your average person shouldn’t be able to own one. They can become dangerous so damn quick.
Also! I used to foster them and their prey drive is insane, even as puppies.
They were bred for aggression and they should be be owned by people who have licenses and proper training ONLY.
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hawnks · 5 months
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Another thing about me is that I love when a female lead is just a bitch. Mean and selfish and cowardly and proud. I love it even MORE if the story treats her with the same empathy men like that get.
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laufire · 3 months
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the thing about knightfall is. I've seen bruce-batman do shit that violent and that cruel to random perps before let alone the truly dangerous rogues. and not only in other media but ALSO in mainline comics (some mainline comics older than this even) so. I acknowledge jean paul-batman is presented as soooo much worse and sooooo unhinged immediately after putting on the cowl, even before he does anything really drastic, but also uh. it does require suspending my disbelief a little bit that everyone is SO SHOCKED about how UN-BRUCE-LIKE he's acting. I can do it! but part of me is like....... fam I'm not buying this.
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martyrbat · 5 months
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detective comics #509
[ID: Bruce Wayne sleeping in his penthouse, his eyes squeezed shut as the narration reads, ‘Gordon's strained laugh sounds hollow, but it echos in the Batman's mind... and haunts his dreams...” Bruce awakens to a hand on his shoulder and before he can think, he's twisting it and holding it down. The panel expands, revealing the hand belongs to Alfred as he's almost toppling over! He cries out, “M-master Bruce—my arm!” as Bruce groggily realizes who it is. He lets go at once as Alfred moves to the end of the bed and holds his arm while stammering an apology, “S-sorry, s-sir... Sorry if I startled you.” Bruce looks at him with aghast as he cries out, “My god, Alfred—I almost broke your arm!” Alfred reasons, “You must have been having a nightmare, sir.” as Bruce sits up and puts his face in his hands. He weepily dismisses, “A nightmare—what kind of an excuse is that? Old friend... forgive me...” Alfred reassures, “Nothing to forgive, sir. Just bad nerves, sir.” END ID]
#THIS ONE !!!!#bruce and his neverending guilt complex#just immediately regretful and so apologetic as alfred is quick to reassure and dismiss it#holding his arm because of fucking course it still hurts but when bruce lifts his head he stops ....#always thinking of how he was a caretaker for bruce since he was a small child/infant and how many little things bruce does now will remind#alfred of those days#he likes his grilled cheese q certain way. he cries if he thinks he hurt someone. he blames himself for a lot. he gets bad nightmares#like so much has stayed the same as so much continues to change but the love and care thry have for each other is always there#(<- guy who is always number one in bruce is disabled and needs a caretaker but also in how the people around him know bruce loves and cares#about them. its not about not being loved its about how heavy his love is and how bruce will subconsciously use his love to harm himself#(from blaming himself to his parents murders and jason's future death to something as simple as this and how he'll beat himself up#for hurting alfred and not able to protect him as well from himself)#(like his mental illness is forever using his stupid bleeding heart against himself as a reason for why hes awful)#this is all fully sidetracked im just fucking wired today sorry lol#but while im talking and something more related to the panel itself::#after this line bruce looks up and says ‘the batman suffering from bad nerves? lets hope not. gordon can worry about the election but i#cannot afford to. still its not just the campaign. lately so many other things are pressuring me—mostly as bruce wayne’#and like !!!!#it wasn't about batman! it wasnt about his burdens and responsibilities!! alfred was telling HIM. BRUCE. that its okay#and bruce automatically ‘its not because batman cant behave like this’ like !!!!#batman is the priority in the sense of he thinks he needs it to protect people. even his family even alfred and every single stranger#he won't ever allow himself any grace even while sleeping because batman cannot afford those ‘slips’#just GOD 70s/80s batman makes me insane for forever and ever amen#c: detective comics | i: 509#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#alfred & bruce#‘awake or asleep—it scarcely matters anymore. the nightmare never seems to end.’#<- nightmare bruce tag <333
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earlgodwin · 7 months
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dysfunctional families, generational traumas and a self-loathing father who sees himself in his son and cannot forgive him for it. this show really went off with all the top-tier themes lol truly unmatched.
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that being said, what cesare doesn't realize is that despite his father 'favoring' juan, it's cesare whom his father truly trusts. sadly, it took cesare killing juan for rodrigo to set him free from being a cleric. if he only knew that his father plainly relies on him and has plans something ultimately much greater, cesare wouldn't have envied and hated his younger brother, and things wouldn't have led to juan's death.
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rodrigo made cesare believe that he wasn't truly loved by him when in reality, he does love cesare immensely and admires him for his drive and ambition. however, rodrigo chose to be self-deluded and ashamed of admitting it. he appointed juan a task that cesare has always wanted, despite knowing well that cesare is infinitely better suited for it. this resulted in cesare developing a strong hatred and envy toward juan.
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as for juan's case, he never asked for the position he was given, but he tried his best to fulfill his responsibilities. (like when he showed bravery by willingly risking his life against the french, even after his troops were torn apart, but only surrendered because the prospect of him dying would upset lucrezia) despite his father's love, juan felt deeply isolated because he never had a peer. he was good natured and had a deep love for his family, and all he wanted was to be included in their world. however, he struggled immensely in expressing his feelings, which led to him being shunned and his death going unmourned. it is tragic because ultimately he longed to feel like a 'true' borgia and have a close relationship with his family, especially with cesare. but the lack of moral guidance and the weight of expectations pushed him to behave inappropriately, resulting in everyone pushing him away.
in conclusion, rodrigo was too blinded by his own ambitions and dismissed his children's concerns it's why i can't bring myself to blame neither of them, they were all trapped by their father's ambitions and favoritism, he was the one who unintentionally pit them against each other by making both of his sons feel inadequate in the positions he bestowed upon them.
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release-the-hound · 8 months
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The way people treat our VAs makes me so furious. The disrespect, the shouting and swearing and verbal abuse, has always been here. But post-covid something like 2 out of 5 clients are cruel or even threatening to our front desk staff, constantly swearing at them. My coworkers are coming back to the treatment room multiple times a shift just so they can have time to collect themselves in a space where they're not being shouted at.
Receptionists, vet assistants, clinic front desk staff of any kind are human beings. They're in this industry because they care about animals. Our clinic could not function without them. They want to help you and your pet. They have no control over wait times or pricing. Swearing at them, threatening them, will not help you or your animal.
I know that veterinary emergencies are stressful. I know that the financial cost of veterinary medicine can be prohibitive. I understand that it is heartbreaking when your treatment options are limited. I am sorry for the difficult experiences anybody has had with their pet's health.
But being cruel to staff members? It won't solve your financial problems, it won't change the diagnosis, it won't give your animal a better outcome. It serves no purpose except to hurt a human being who is doing their best.
If this post reaches you, I ask that you treat your fellow human beings with courtesy and patience. If you want to go a step further and fight back against the tide of negativity, try and remember the name of the front desk staff who help you. If you send your clinic a card, include them in your thanks.
Our front desk staff are some of the kindest people I have ever met. And yet they deal with abusive clients day in and day out. At the very least, please don't be one of them.
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ghost-proofbaby · 2 months
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“Do not,” he whispers to her in a low tone, face still impassive as he presses himself just close enough so that she’s the only one that can hear him, “Get involved in this. Unless, of course, you’re going to swing on one of the poor saps. In that case, I fully support you, my dear.” 
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summary: when the party finally encounters a proper fight, aruna only has one thing on her mind: save astarion. and if she finally starts to piece together a few things about herself and her magic, well - that can't possibly hurt, can it?
wc: 5.3k+
warnings: continued memory loss, fighting, spoilers for the game (play by play description of scenes from emerald grove in act 1), aruna and astarion can't decide if they'll play nice with each other or not lol
a/n: this fic is about to be just a constant cycle of aruna taking a spray bottle to astarion as her weird way of trying to keep him alive truly
masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter
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Aruna is beginning to believe the tadpole in her head was the least of the inconveniences she’d had to encounter on her journey.
When they’d left camp for the day, they’d have a very straightforward objective: discover a form of civilization, find a healer, and get the damned worms out of their heads. 
Simple. Easier said than done, but certainly simple. 
Or so she thought. 
It starts when they’re wandering the trails of the wilderness leading out of camp. They’re not going towards the beach this time, she promises Shadowheart that much, but what they come across is far worse than having to face off with anymore intellect devourers. 
Actual people. Tieflings, Gale identifies, who had a familiar githyanki held high above them in a cage. 
Aruna would never say she has a bleeding heart based on her choices so far on their journey, but she still doesn’t hesitate to decide to help the githyanki. Shadowheart confirmed she was on the ship, with much distaste, and made it clear she wasn’t keen on helping her. Aruna didn’t care. Astarion also seemed less than pleased at the prospect of helping, but his hands were twitching for his daggers, and she realized he’d only kept his mouth shut due to the clear opportunity for a fight to break out. 
Gale had been the only one on her side as she’d approached the situation. 
One painful merging of her tadpole to the githyanki’s (although, notably less painful than her connection with Gale, and certainly less agonizing than that with Astarion) and a failed attempt at diffusing the situation in hopes for no blood to be shed later, Astarion got his wishes. A fight. That they’d won, quite easily. Whether it was thanks to Gale’s quick trigger of his magic or Astarion’s flashing daggers was up for debate (it wasn’t really – she just couldn’t bear to boost either man’s ego by saying as much out loud.)
Lae’zel. The githyanki’s name was Lae’zel, and Aruna didn’t hesitate to dismiss her in the direction of their camp, much to everyone’s disdain. 
Aruna didn’t care. She had an end goal in mind for the day – she was going to find a healer, daylight be damned. 
“I still don’t trust the gith,” Shadowheart is continuing to complain at her side as they trek further along these paths. There are paths. Leading somewhere. And those tieflings had mentioned something about a grove. There had to be civilization somewhere nearby, “I respect your choice, but I’ll continue to sleep with one eye open with her at camp.”
“Be my guest,” Aruna mutters, growing tired of the complaints. 
She gets it – she has no former memories on how ‘distrustful’ githyankis are, but Shadowheart has made it abundantly clear they shouldn’t drop their guard around her. She got it about ten damning sighs and wistful comments ago. 
“And how are we to trust all her talk of purification? What if it’s nothing more than a trap, luring us in to lead us to certain death?” Shadowheart tsks, voicing a lingering concern that Aruna already had. But that bit of information that Lae’zel had offered was the first real lead they had on getting rid of the tadpoles, and she wasn’t about to dismiss it as Shadowheart was, “We simply can’t tr-”
“I’d hate to interrupt, but may I have a word with our fearless leader? I’ll only be a moment, I swear.”
Astarion had been lingering towards the back of the group for most of their walk. Quiet, occasionally humming to himself and smirking at others' comments here and there. Less out of real amusement, Aruna senses, and more in a belittling way. 
But suddenly, he had picked up his pace and fallen into step on Aruna’s left, leaning over and looking to the cleric who had been complaining endlessly on her right. 
Shadowheart, surprisingly, takes the hint well. 
The moment she’s fallen back to join Gale instead, probably still airing her superficial issues, Aruna is shooting a glance in Astarion’s direction. “If you’re here to say you also don’t trust Lae’zel, please just- save it for when we’re back at camp, please.” 
She doesn’t think her headache could handle anymore. 
“What? Oh, no,” Astarion scoffs, scrunching his nose for a moment, “I could care less about the gith. I just knew if Shadowheart’s yapping was getting on my nerves, you must be in desperate need of a break.”
Yapping. It was a cruel way to put it, but it still made a smile nearly break on Aruna’s face. 
“What was it you needed to discuss, then?” she asks, a little less on edge now. 
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“As I said, it just seemed as though we all needed a break from talk of the gith.”
That was… oddly kind. Even if Astarion had clearly done it in part for his own sanity, Aruna found herself appreciating the gesture regardless. 
They walk in silence for a while. Only a few mutters escape from Gale and Shadowheart from behind them, but Aruna chooses to block them out. With Astarion at her side now instead, she was able to better focus on leading them somewhere useful. Somewhere with answers, somewhere with a healer-
She should have known the peace wouldn’t last. 
Shouts sound up ahead, but the entire group’s view is entirely blocked from a large hill. 
“That doesn’t sound good,” Astarion notes the obvious, offering a quick side glance, as if observing Aruna’s own reaction to guarantee it aligned with his own. 
And it did. Well, sort of. “We should check it out.”
The entire group stares at her as if she’s finally grown tentacles. 
“We’ll be careful about it, obviously-”
“Obviously,” Astarion cuts in sarcastically.
“-But I have a feeling wherever that yelling is coming from, is… is…” 
Civilization? A step in the right direction?
“A healer,” she finally settles on it, which only makes everyone’s faces twist even further at her, “The shouting must mean people, and the more people, the higher likelihood of a healer.”
That seems to convince them all well enough. 
They creep up the hill and easily break off into natural pairings – Astarion stays at Aruna’s side as they find a hiding place in bushes near the hill’s peak, Gale and Shadowheart find a safe spot behind a tree on the opposite side, a bit further back. 
In the clearing below, Aruna spots the commotion easily. Three people – seemingly human – banging on a large wooden gate covered in vinery. At the top of the gate, there stands multiple tieflings, all arguing besides a large wheel that Aruna can only presume opens the gate.
And she can finally hear the words being shouted.
“Open the bloody gate! Goblins are coming!”
She feels Astarion tense beside her, clearly hearing what she had. Goblins. She can’t exactly visualize them, her memory predictably failing her once more, but she doesn’t have to wait long before the horde shows themselves. 
A large group. Foul creatures of all kinds, not just these goblins, are snarling in the direction of those humans. 
Finally, as if seeing were truly believing, a tiefling begins to open the gate. But Aruna already knows it’s far too late before the arrow that ends him has flown through the air – they had hesitated, and it just cost one of their own their life. 
The gate drops, despite the humans efforts to hold it up. The tiefling falls, a scream echoing from someone nearby. 
And amongst it all, as Aruna’s heart begins to race at the action, a realization strikes her. 
P.S. DO NOT FORGET – SAVE ASTARION. 
She hadn’t been sure of what to do with that in the last day, when they weren’t in danger. When it was nothing more than brains with legs and small bickering amongst the camp so far that posed the most threat, Aruna couldn’t comprehend why she was supposed to save the elf that clearly had an upper hand with his skilled hands and sharp daggers. 
But here, watching the beginnings of a battle unfold, she understood. 
Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the danger. 
Astarion is hardly a breath of a step ahead of her, crouched into a thicker part of the bush. Closer to the action – closer to the danger. Her hand flies out to land on his bicep without another thought.
“What are you-” he turns to look at her, clearly startled, but she’s determined.
He gets on her nerves. He’s impossible to read at times. She’s pretty sure he’d betray her the moment a better option of safety arose. But the letter said to save him, so save him she shall. 
“Get behind me,” she commands in a low voice, leaving no room for argument.
He still finds the space to argue. Of course he does. 
“Excuse me? I am not-” he begins to hiss at her, but he’s cut off when one of those wretched goblins have climbed to the top of the hill. 
They were only looking for higher ground, but Aruna isn’t quite as well-hidden as the rest of them. 
“Well, well, well,” the goblin snarls, “Thought yourself sneaky, did ‘ya?” 
She only sees Aruna. Not Gale, not Shadowheart. And most importantly – not Astarion. 
Her hands fly to her daggers just as the goblin reaches onto her back and produces a bow. At the sight of it, Aruna’s stomach plummets. She can hardly wield her daggers against brains – better than someone who’s never held a weapon a day in their life, but not by much. And her daggers are for close fights; that bow will end her life without the goblin having to take so much as another step towards her. 
Aruna has the disadvantage here; Aruna is going to die here. 
She still lets her shaking fingers wrap around the hilt of her dagger, deciding it’s better to go down with a fight rather than simply lay here and die, but then-
The goblin hardly had the time to string her bow, an arrow not even properly secured in it, when two daggers are easily cutting through the skin of her neck. 
Aruna hadn’t even noticed Astarion move, as if he had blended in with shadows she hadn’t seen existing on this hilltop. One moment, he’d been beside her, and now he stood behind the goblin, holding on for an extra moment before he let the lifeless body drop. 
“You expect me to believe I should allow you to protect me,” he nearly spits out, looking at her less in anger and more in disbelief, “When you just nearly got yourself killed.”
“I had it under contro-” she starts to argue back, but she cuts herself off when she looks over his shoulder. Most of the goblins and other creatures are focused on the four humans below, a new helping hand having joined them as he blasts his foes with red strikes that resemble lightning, but across the way stands a goblin with his eyes narrowed right at Aruna and Astarion. He’s quick, his arrow firing off in their direction just as Aruna notices him, “Duck!”
For once, Astarion doesn’t argue. Thank the Nine Realms. 
He drops to the ground with perfect timing, the arrow narrowly missing his back before it pierces the ground just beside Astarion’s splayed hand. 
In his shock, Aruna makes an easy decision. 
Fuck the daggers. 
Her magic still burns in her veins, humming gleefully as she calls to it with an outstretched palm and her focus set on the goblin that had sent the arrow in Astarion’s direction.
DO NOT FORGET – SAVE ASTARION. 
It’s the only thing on her mind as she recalls incantations that had fallen from Gale’s lips just the day prior, and she repeats them effortlessly, “Tormentum.” 
In an instant, three red spheres burst from her palm in a straight line, heading straight to the goblin.
They hit him without miss, in the center of his chest, back to back. 
Just as Astarion is rising back to his full height, he witnesses the goblin fall to her magic. His neck nearly snaps with the speed in which he looks back to her, “You have magic? Bloody Hells-”
She ignores his outburst, quickly slipping herself in front of him on the cliff’s edge, making herself all but a meat shield for the quick-footed elf. Most attention continues to evade them, but she’s able to spot the next goblin that has set his sights on them before he has a chance to draw his weapon in their direction. This time, as she outstretches her hand in his direction, she decides to shout a different spell.
“Ignis!” 
She’s more confident this time, power thrumming through her as the familiar bolt of a flame flies from her fingertips and heads straight for their enemy. Her aim is less on par, but it doesn’t matter – even when the flame hits the goblin’s legs rather than chest, the sparks of the magic catch fire to everything around it, effectively burning the goblin to nothing more than ash and bone. 
She can’t tell if her heart is racing with exhilaration of using her magic – magic she knows for sure now that was never learned nor gifted to her by some deity, but is hers entirely – or if it’s from the fear of keeping Astarion safe. 
And he’s making the latter exceptionally more likely when one of the creatures that resemble a distorted wolf finally looks up to them with bloodlust in its eyes, and he’s quick to step out from behind her. 
“No,” she gasps, turning to him just long enough that when she looks back, the animal is already clambering up the stones, nearly arriving to them, “Astarion, do not-”
All at once, it feels as though she loses control of her magic. As though it’s reached such extensive heights that her grasp on it slips, and between that and her swirling emotions, she has no control over what happens next. 
Her mind is a mess. Between the power, the worry of this being what she was meant to be saving Astarion from, the anxiety of him no longer being behind her so that she could fool herself into thinking she might be capable of shielding him – it’s a mess. 
Not a single incantation has to fall from her lips when the magic erupts from her, turning the innocent plants around them into enchanted greenery. Viscous vines, glowing as they ensnare both the creature clambering up to them and Aruna. 
They should have ensnared Astarion too. She thinks they’ve done as much until she watches him dart down to where the animal is one step below, and his daggers find deathly purchase in its fur. 
Blood splatters about the vines that Astarion is still able to avoid somehow, and when he pulls back, the creature falls just as limply as that goblin did. 
He looks up at her, small spatters of the blood marking his cheeks, a smug grin painted across his face, “As you were saying?” 
Damn him. Damn him to the deepest depths of the Hells, and back. 
“I… You…” she can’t finish her snappy comeback, can’t even formulate a proper thought as a sudden drain from her use of magic hits her all at once. The snarling vines still encase her lower half, and her headache blooms so painfully that she fears she might lose consciousness from it. 
The grin is short-lived when he realizes what is inevitably about to happen once her own self-made trap lets her go. 
He’s at her side before the vines have even finished retreating, catching her just before she tumbles over the edge of the small cliff. He yanks her backward, leveraging himself behind her for a moment so that she’s flush his chest before he spins. Suddenly, roles have been reversed. Astarion has become the meatshield, and she doesn’t even have the energy to fight it. 
“Gale,” his voice is stoic as he nearly carries her, “Shadowheart. Be dears and take over for us on the front lines, yes?” 
There’s not much more fight to be had. Between the goblin and creature Astarion had taken down, and the two goblins that Aruna’s magic had fell, the fight is mostly left up to the humans below.
Gale and Shadowheart listen to Astarion regardless. 
He manages to get them to the tree where the other two had been hiding with ease, finally maneuvering her so that she’s leaning against its bark. When she slides down to sit on the ground, it leaves biting scratches that she feels the sting of, even through her clothing. 
“I’m fine,” she gasps out, a clear lie when the edges of her vision were still spotted, “I’m fine, just let me-”
When she goes to stand, he’s quick to press two cold palms on each shoulder. Had he always been so cold? 
“Not so fast, my magical friend,” Astarion tuts, crouching to be eye level with her, “I’m sure the wizard will suffice in ending the bloodbath. He can walk without a helping hand.” 
“I’m fine,” she repeats herself, but it sounds like she’s trying to convince herself more than him. 
At the edge of the hill, Gale is firing off magic missiles, just as Aruna had been. 
Astarion’s entire face goes hard, and she realizes that this may not be a fight she’ll win. His sarcasm is venomous as he says, “Ah, yes. You’re currently the picture of health – impossibly pale in the face, too weak to stand on your own, eyes so dazed I highly doubt you’d be able to tell me how many fingers I’m holding up. Shall I go on?”
Her silence is his answer.
“Now, I’m far more concerned with the fact that you have magic. And lots of it, if we’re to go off of your little display with the vines. When exactly were you planning on sharing that with the class?” 
“Gale and Shadowheart already know,” her vision is finally fully coming back to her, entirely focused on Astarion’s face, centimeters from her own, “It’s not my problem you were more concerned with insulting my mapping skills last night rather than asking more personal questions.” 
“You wound me. Is there nothing more personal than sharpening charcoal for someone who’s deficient with their own daggers?”
“Go to Hell.”
Gods, they were going to end up fighting each other, letter be damned, before she ever figured out the truth behind her mysterious savior quest. Maybe the true meaning was for her to avoid burying her daggers into his chest. Save him from her, it seems. 
Astarion only smiles at her, leaning back, creating distance as his palms fall from her, “I’ve already been, my dear. Can’t say I enjoyed it.”
She rolls her eyes, and it worsens the pounding in her temples, but it’s worth it.
At the most opportune of times, Gale and Shadowheart return back to their sides. Gale is the epitome of worry as he kneels beside her where she continues to sit against the tree trunk, and Shadowheart’s eyes are already examining her for wounds.
“Are you hurt?” Shadowheart’s words come out harsh, but only with concern.
“Never been better.”
“She could have killed us both with those enchanted vines,” Astarion says, although no one certainly asked him.
“I might have some salve back at camp for any rash from the vines-”
“She could have gotten us all killed.” 
Shadowheart is ignoring Astarion with ease as Gale lifts each of her arms methodically, flipping them as if to assure that there really isn’t any injury. 
“That wasn’t my intention,” she whispers, being the only one to acknowledge Astarion even though his anger is clearly directed at her, “I just- I don’t know why my magic did that.”
Gale’s eyebrows shoot up at that, “Did what exactly?” 
Astarion’s glare is hard to ignore, but Aruna manages as she swallows hard and chooses to focus on the wizard offering her far more kindness for the time being.
“I was using incantations – just, I guess I knew them from you, hearing you use them during the fights yesterday. But then, suddenly, I just… I just…”
“Decided that enchanted vines were the solution.”
“I don’t know how I did that, Astarion.” 
She really, really doesn’t. That surge of magic had ripped from her unpredictably, tearing out of her veins as if she couldn’t stop it if she tried. She doesn’t even know what incantation could conjure those dangerous plants.
“Interesting,” Gale murmurs, leaning back on his heel. He looks far less concerned than Aruna feels, “Very interesting, indeed.” 
She’s beginning to recognize that look – the look of a hungry mind. She’s starting to believe that every time it crosses Gale’s face, it’s actually just spelling out trouble for her. 
“You’re not going to elaborate on why it’s all so interesting, are you?” she asks with a sigh, deflating in defeat.
He shakes his head, a smile still on his lips. “Not a chance – not here, at least. Perhaps it’s a better conversation to have at camp.” 
Her eyes dart up to Astarion first, against better judgment considering he still looks to be fairly irritated, and then to Shadowheart. Eventually, though, her line of sight wanders to that gate covered in vines. Normal vines, not magical. 
Whatever that gate was protecting, she’d bet all two gold pieces in her pack that it was a civilization. That there was a healer. 
Her problems could wait.
“Fine,” she says, digging the heels of her palms into the ground and beginning to stand. She doesn’t miss the way Astarion flinches, hands twitching as if readied to catch her despite his angry facade. “Keep your secrets, o’ wise old wizard. For now, I think we have a healer to find.” 
Gale frowns, but over his shoulder, she can see Astarion lose the fight against his amusement in her words. 
At least he still finds her funny, even after she nearly ‘got them all killed’, as he had so eloquently put it. 
Emerald Grove. 
It’s an interesting place, to say the least. 
When they approach the gate (after carefully descending down the hill, during which Astarion’s hands continued to stay near Aruna in case of any more fainting episodes), the tiefling manning the wheel above opens it without question for them. They fall into a formation eerily similar to the one they’d approached the fight in – Shadowheart and Gale bringing up the rear, and Astarion sticking to Aruna’s side. He keeps a little distance, but hardly much.
She’s sort of glad that it’s him, of all the companions, that’s choosing to be her shadow. As they walk through the short tunnel to properly enter the grove, he’s the only one to breathlessly laugh as she jokes, “Think we’re about to get a hero’s welcome?” 
She likes his laugh. Painful to admit, but she can’t deny that her heart swells with a specific type of pride when she hears it fall from his lips, even in a whisper. 
Besides, it’s far more encouraging than Gale’s, “I sincerely hope you know what you’re doing.” 
She doesn’t respond to that comment. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. 
One of the tieflings she’d caught sight of fighting during the battle stands just uphill of the entrance, face to face with one of the humans. An obvious new fight is taking place. 
She can feel Gale falter in his steps behind her as she approaches, even Shadowheart slowing in her faithful following. The only person who sticks by her side is Astarion. Probably just eager to see if they can make it worse, really. 
“There are children here, you fool!” 
The tiefling is furious. And it almost frightens Aruna for a second, until she feels that reassuring presence of the elf that had just saved her life at her back. If things go south, she’s sure Astarion will be the first to draw his weapon. Whether it’s for her safety or not, she’s quickly learning that it might benefit her to have a dagger-happy friend on her side. 
“We was running, for our lives.” 
The human is red in his face, voice breathless, still clearly recovering from the fight outside the gate. If Aruna was wise, she’d hang back and not interrupt this argument.
Wisdom isn’t her forte, she guesses. 
“You led them straight to us. And you let them take the druid, too. Unbelievable!” 
Druid? Had the goblins taken any hostages? By the looks of the bloodbath outside, it hadn’t seemed like there were any survivors to take a hostage. 
Astarion closes the space between them even further as she steps up to the plate. She could ask about the druid, point out her astute observation, but her quick tongue works faster than her mind does. 
“One fight just ended, and the two of you are already picking another one?” she questions, eyeing both of them in disbelief, “Relax.” 
Astarion snorts at that. Ever so helpful. 
“Tell that to the dead at the gate,” the tiefling snarks back in a low tone, his glare hardening further on the human before him. 
“Shut it, horns. I’d be lying dead at the gate next to the goblins if you’d stalled any longer.” 
And- well, the human has a point. Aruna has no idea what dynamic is at play here, but the human would have been dead if everyone inside the safety of the gate that had chosen to aid them had put off intervening any sooner. 
She’d also be dead, possibly. Astarion as well. The thought alone sends a shiver of fright up her spine. 
“My duty is to this camp,” the tiefling anger grows to palpable levels, enough that Aruna is carefully taking the slightest step back. 
Unfortunate for her, her shadow seems to be getting more comfortable with impossible closeness. It’s a small step that would’ve gone entirely unnoticed, but her foot finds purchase on top of his as her back brushes in near collision with his chest. She’s quick to glance over his shoulder, expecting some sort of reaction, but he’s still as stone. If her stepping on his foot has caused him even the slightest bit of pain, she can’t see it as his focus remains entirely on the fight in front of them. She even glances down to see that his palm is already hovering over the hilt of one of his daggers. 
Yes, indeed. Having a dagger-happy friend on her side was going to be very beneficial. 
“God forbid you risk your precious tail,” the human sneers, and Gods, she notices all the jabs he’s making endlessly at the other’s race. Low blow after low blow, she’s starting to wonder if these two men even have any sort of alliance to begin with, “But I shouldn’t be surprised. Foulbloods ain’t known for courage.” 
She has no memory nor reason to feel defensive over tieflings. She’s unaware of the deeper history at play. But as far as she knows, tieflings are nothing more than another race in this world that she’s being forced to relearn. Horns and tails, sure, but foulblood? 
It’s as if Astarion can feel her defensiveness beginning to boil beneath the surface. 
“Do not,” he whispers to her in a low tone, face still impassive as he presses himself just close enough so that she’s the only one that can hear him, “Get involved in this. Unless, of course, you’re going to swing on one of the poor saps. In that case, I fully support you, my dear.” 
It’s certainly a tempting idea. Part of her wonders how it would feel to crack her knuckles against the face of the human, to wipe the indignation right off his face. But he has a point. And so does the tiefling. She can’t just pick a side – she can’t just choose given what she knows of the situation.
Aruna is well aware that Astarion’s insistence for her to not get involved is probably to avoid him having to carry any extra load, to have to come to her rescue if her punch doesn’t land. He couldn’t care less about the entire ordeal. It’s not his problem unless Aruna makes it his problem. 
If she doesn’t swing, however, she knows one of the men before her will. She can see it easily in their faces. Both twitching with anger, both buzzing with hatred. She needs to diffuse the situation, and quickly.
In her most persuasive tone she can muster, she interjects, much to Astarion’s disapproval, “More violence won’t bring back those you lost. Stop and think.”
She ends the plea in a bit more desperation than she means to, but only because her mind has begun to run a mile a minute in considering what a fight breaking out between the two might mean.
More danger. More fighting. More possible situations in which she’s supposed to save Astarion. 
“You’re right,” the tiefling’s eyes flicker to her as he sighs, and she’s realized that her words have worked, “There’s too much at stake.” 
“Worried about your precious hides. The both of you.” 
Her words have worked on the tiefling. Not the human, clearly. 
She braces herself as the fight begins to feel just a little too inevitable, and out of reassurance to herself, she decides to glance back down at Astarion’s hand by his dagger. It’s no longer just hovering – he’s fully made contact, fingers curling eagerly around the leather grip. He’s tense as ever, but not with the same anxiety that Aruna is. His tenseness is simply readiness. It dawns on her momentarily that whoever wrote that note to her, whoever tasked her with saving him, is an absolute idiot. It’s becoming abundantly clear with every moment they spend together that Astarion is the one more equipped to save her than she is him. 
She’s so caught up in the thought that she misses the resolution of the argument, some exchange of words that unexpectedly lead to both men walking away. And embarrassingly, she only notices when Astarion’s fingers release his dagger, flexing for a second, before wiggling as if taunting her.
“See something you like?” he practically purrs, suddenly too close for comfort.
She jumps, stepping forward into the new empty clearing before them and giving herself a little space to simply breathe. Shadowheart looks entirely unimpressed when Aruna looks to their companions for help, and Gale only shrugs. 
She spins to face Astarion head on now, trying to even her breathing, “Never. Someone just has to make sure you don’t go on a stabbing spree for your own entertainment.” 
“Oh, mother may I?” he taunts, stepping forward and making her effort of space entirely useless. He’s fast to unsheath a dagger, twirling it in his hand, blade flashing in the sunlight. She knows he’s not going to do anything with it, though. Not when his face melts into something a little more serious, a little more genuine, “You do realize we’ll never find a cure to our little…. problems if you try to involve yourself in every fight we come across?”
Yes. “It might do us well to have a few favors to call in. Just in case.” 
“I highly doubt either of those men would offer us a favor for your interjection.” 
“Guess we’ll just have to find out, won’t we?” 
The tiefling is hanging back, not far off from there, and she senses he’s only staying back for the time being due to the way Astarion still holds his blade, carelessly letting it wave around during their conversation. And she’s starting to sense it’s purposeful on Astarion’s part. 
He presses his lips together tightly as he looks down at her, garnet eyes flashing momentarily before he simply gives in. He’s picking his battles to win the war. “I suppose we will. And I do suppose you’re wanting to talk to that tiefling now, aren’t you?” 
She answers wordlessly with a smile as he sheaths his dagger. He’s learning quickly.
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bancaishi · 9 days
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didn't want to put this rant in the tags of that last post but honestly i feel like a lot of people hate toshiro disproportionately compared to what he actually did in-story. and if we're being real it's most likely because of racism
#xyx.txt#because so much of his misunderstanding of laios comes from a cultural angle#and because his mannerisms are strongly coded as japanese especially relative to the other characters in the story#i think a lot of people's implicit biases have them reading this as an inherent and unchangeable aspect of his being#rather than being just one aspect of him that originates from a particular context and is fully changeable#like any other trait on anyone else.#part of this is just because of the fact that the story is told from laios and his party's perspective#but i think a lot of people's perspectives on him are probably informed by racism#not all east asians are quiet and polite. i know this myself as a kind of loud and awkward and easily excited east asian person myself#but generally cultural mannerisms from east asia tend to be more subdued overall than western ones#so it's. not uncommon. for western people to read east asians as being rude or cold or aloof just for behaving like this#the 'oriental inscrutability' moment...#like he doesn't need to 'get rid of the stick up his ass'. he just needs to not put such heavy expectations on other people#but yeah i think a lot of people are way more unsympathetic to him than they would have been if he were not so distinctly asian-coded#which is ironic! a lot of people being really mad at him for ableism specifically in the social expectations he holds of others#while applying the same kind of judgment to him but through the perspective of race instead of neurodivergence. suspicious.#blah blah blah it's because he's 'neurotypical' or whatever#predicting how some of you people would behave toward neurodivergent asian people and the outlook isn't good#also if we're on the subject of microaggressions.#laios repeatedly and insistently calling him 'shuro' to the point that everyone else calls him that too#that's not 'funny autism bad with names' moment that's a racist microaggression#someone misnaming me because of my distinctly ethnic/foreign-sounding name doesn't automatically become funny and relatable#just because you're neurodivergent lol#can we maybe have more empathy toward characters and people of color in fandom#instead of always using them as punching bag side character trope#thanks.
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