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lynnlovesthestars · 8 months

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Scars.

Pairing: Astarion x reader Genre and warnings: angst, lots of it, hurt barely any comfort, allusions to sexual assault, past trauma, graphic description of torture, kidnapping, blood, violence, set in act 3, mention of death. Notes: not proof read ngl, i wrote it after dreaming it, and i didnt even wanna read it again, i cried like a bitch cause it’s kinda like…. past experience projected? just yeah dont ask if im ok after writing this, the answer is no lmao... also just a side note since it’s the first time im posting on this profile, but english is not my first language so please be mindful about it. Edit 10/06/23: i finally went through it end edited it.. i hope i catched all the errors cause idk if i'll ever be strong enough to give it another read ahah

Getting so close to someone meant so much for Astarion, and the more he cared, the more new fears would swim through his brain.

Since you arrived in the lower city, and his bed was no longer cold at night, a new nightmare snuck in.

The idea that Cazador would be able to get to you, and weaponize you against him, made his cold blood run even colder. Several nights you woke up to a trembling and sweating Astarion, as he was begging for mercy. He never explained too much about these nightmares to you, just letting you know it was about Cazador again and again, but he left out the haunting possibility of you getting hurt because of him. On the other hand you believed it was because you were getting so close to the Szarr palace, and Cazador knew about it just as much as Astarion did.

It was the middle of the night when the sound of a broken glass stirred you awake. You looked around you, Astarion still deep into his meditating state, while the others were asleep as well, none of them reacted to the sound like you did. Maybe you just had a light sleep, you thought, and someone in the tavern dropped a few glasses or something. It was when hands gripped your wrists that you jolted up, looking behind you. It was too dark to see, and all you could spot were the deep red eyes, like Astarion's, though they lacked the warmth of his.

A shiver ran through your spine as you realized what was happening, but when you tried to call for the others, you realized how deep in shit you actually were: no sound would leave your lips, like you were silenced.

"There's no need to be afraid, Tav." A deep cold voice whispered so close to your ear. "They can't hear you".

The voice chuckled at your failed attempts to call for Astarion, Karlach or anyone, as tears were starting to pool at the edge of your eyes.

Another pair of hands took hold of Astarion, magical shackles fastened around his hands and feet, just as they did to yours, and then they started dragging you both away.

The deep voice spent the whole travel taunting you with stories of Cazador, how cold blooded he was, and just how much he enjoyed torturing his victims. From one point of view you were already accustomed with such stories about him, but from the other, the idea of Cazador getting hold of Astarion again, made your blood freeze again. You were not going to let Cazador hurt him again. You were set on the idea.

When you reached the corridors of Cazador's palace, the silencing spell finally wore off, though Astarion was still not moving. Terror flashed through your eyes as you wondered if they had already…

"What did you do to him?!" You breathed out as you tried so hard to keep your calm in front of the spawns that were dragging and pushing you through the dark hallways.

The spawn scoffed as he pushed through and through.

"Don't worry, he's not dead" You could feel his eyes rolling at the question, like it was some dumb question you should have known the answer to. "..yet" he added at last.

You couldn't stop your mouth from twitching, between the state of rage that was slowly building up, or the terror of them hurting Astarion.

"What's going on? Can i know that at least?" You wanted so bad to cast a spell on him, charming him into freeing you, but without the use of your hands, you were useless.

"Cazador wants to give you a warm welcome into Baldur's gate" He giggled, as the smell of old blood mixed with the sour taste of the bile threatening to spill from your lips, and you couldn't hold it anymore, and your feelings started spilling out.

You couldn't help then to try and get Astarion free at least. You wanted to shake those hands off of you, to wiggle out of the shackles that bound your magic, but no matter how much you tried, you were like set in stone, unable to do anything but move forward, shed tears, and talk. Or more specifically, beg.

Beg them to hurt you, instead of Astarion.

Beg them to keep you here, and let your star free.

Beg them to turn you if needed, but spare Astarion's life.

Anything, if it meant not hurting the man that stole your heart with a dagger to your throat.

Quickly you were tossed in a cage, adjacent to Astarion's, and locked in.

The shackles that bound your feet dissipated, as the cage started ascending upward.

It halted in front of an altar, you guessed, that directly faced into the chasm you ascended from. Other spawns, around twenty you were able to count, started taking seats around the edges, sitting all in religious silence on their knees.

Astarion was still passed out, cradled on the floor of the cage, both restraints still tightly bound to him.

"Please, please, please" You cried out as the last bit of your strength was going to be dedicated towards trying to get Astarion free, far away from this place. "Let Astarion go, i beg you" You repeated your plea again, as you saw all those spawns stir from their seats, they wanted to turn their heads, to face whoever was foolish enough to beg Cazador for mercy, to trade spots with Astarion.

Everyone in that room knew what was going to happen, he was going to show them what happens when you disobey, when you run away thinking you can escape him. Instead you were so foolish and blinded by love, that you wanted to take Astarion's place, unaware of the extent that Cazador would go to. Yet you didn't stop, you kept begging and begging until a voice, the voice, echoed through the altar's walls.

"Tsk you just gave me a wonderful idea" the man hummed as his scepter started glowing, and Astarion started stirring awake, he looked around him, his tired eyes quickly widening as the reality around him had set in his mind.

"Let her go, you son of a bitch" Astarion growled as he stood up so quick, and gripped at the iron bars separating him from Cazador.

"Touch her and I swear I'll spill your guts right here" He spit out of the cage, a symbolic spit cause you were too far away to reach him.

"My, my, our dear Astarion has forgotten all the manners" He cooed as his lips smacked together, his voice so honeyed it was bringing you to the verge of vomit.

You wanted to reassure Astarion, let him know that you were going to do your best to free him, that you were both going to be out of there alive soon, but could you? Could you lie so much to the man you loved? Words were stuck on your tongue, making your throat drier and drier.

You guessed you zoned out for a few seconds as your head was flooded with thoughts, missing the hate Astarion was throwing at his master.

"Ah sweet Astarion, your dear Tav has given us a great idea though, it would be a shame to let it go to waste" He hummed, as the staff light up again, the lock on your cage fell down the chasm, as your trembling body was slowly being dragged out of the cage by magic.

"No, no, no, no" Astarion reprated as his eyes locked on you, falling on the long streaks of tears running down your cheeks as you tried to offer him a sad smile, your lips muttering an "it's going to be okay" while his body was about to give in to desperation, loud sobs echoed from him, as your heart broke at his sight: he was barely standing up now, his hand gripped tight as he screamed through the hall to let you go, to not hurt you, to stop. "This is just a nightmare" He fell on his knees as you were slowly dropped on the cold floor, barely keeping your head up as you realized you were still in his shirt, the one he loved on you.

"Oh dear Astarion" Cazador cooed again as he kneeled in front of you, his cold fingers getting ahold of your chin, to tilt your head towards his. "This is not a nightmare, this is real" His words were like cold daggers through your chests, you knew that whatever was going to happen, it was not going to be fun.

Before you could say anything, Cazador's hand slipped to your waist pulling on the shirt as you flinched away, disgusted by the touch of the vampire in front of you.

But he didn't care, he was swift in removing it, leaving you bare in front of dozens of eyes.

You could hear the rattling coming from Astarion's cage as he attempted to break free over and over again while his chest was about to explode.

He didn't have the right to undress you in front of everyone, he didn't have the right to touch you at all, not when he prayed every night to have the chance to see you bare, to hold you. His thoughts were swinging back and forth between desperation and deep seethed rage.

"My, my I can see why our Astarion has fallen for this little creature" Cazador's compliment almost made you retch as you stumbled back a little. "She even puts up a fight" He chuckled as he lunged forward just enough to grip at your wrist and whipping you on your feet.

Every inch of your skin was visible to everyone, from the battle scars you got through the years of adventuring, to the teeth marks on your neck, down to the stretchmarks that lived on your hips.

A shiver ran through your spine as Cazador’s fingers grazed over the two marks on your neck. “Mh, your blood seems to be sweet enough, right Astarion?” His cruel words hit Astarion through the chest. He was one word away from a breakdown as he couldn’t do anything but witness his nightmares coming alive, not his Tav, not when he would be so careful to cradle you and comfort you to his chest whenever he'd drink from you.

Whatever he was screaming was incomprehensible to you, as all you could feel was the way Cazador gripped and pushed you towards a plush chair, where he sat with legs wide open before dragging you on his lap. You felt so nauseous as he bent you towards the arm rest, making you face the cold grey floor.

You wanted to hear the taunting explanation of what he was going to do, but all the sounds were drowned by the thrumming of your chest and the desperation in your own thoughts, repeating over and over that you were going to find a way out, trying to convince your brain to shut off and dissociate as you were there, like you were just in a nightmare, and you’d be awake soon.

All you could gather was few words like “knife”, “mark”, reminder”, and then “Astarion”. He was torturing him through you, and you couldn’t do anything about it. The worst part in this, was that you were the one that gave him the idea, cause you wanted him to free Astarion, and instead he let it all out on you instead than on your Aster, as a punishment for you both. You cause you were so careless to offer yourself though you didn't know the risk, and Astarion for being reckless and disobedient. Right there, as the dagger pierced your spine, you regretted not whispering Astarion how much you loved him, while you were tight against his chest, when the world around you was asleep, and you had a corner of peace. You always knew what you felt for him, from that moment on the beach, at the shipwreck, and yet you just wanted to tell him in the right moment. But what was the right moment? You might never know, as a broken scream broke through your lips, salty tears flowing free, so much that you thought for a moment that you might have died of dehydration, if the knife wasn’t going to do it first.

He carved and carved over your back, intelligible lines and symbols as you finally understood what Astarion meant when he told you how he got his scars. How gut wrenching the pain was as he couldn’t move, and how Cazador didn't allow a break, and retraced the lines that were wobbly if he moved too much.

“You know?” Cazador asked, as everyone’s eyes were on what he thought was a work of art, your carved skin, while Astarion’s plea echoed over and over in the room. “Our sweet Astarion used to whine just like you” He hummed. “Just a pathetic little child” He spit out like venom as you could barely breathe out few words along the lines of “you disgusting monster”, though you were not sure you actually let them out until, Cazador’s laugh filled every corner of the disgraced altar. Your tadpole writhed as another line was cut at the height of your hips, before, Cazador started retracing the lines and pulling away the skin, exposing the deepest layers of your flesh, the pain was so deep your vision blurred, and you were so close to passing out right there.

You don’t know how long you sat there, you slipped between pain and numbness as Cazador slapped you back to consciousness whenever you'd slip away, you had to endure the agonizing scarring and remember every second of it. He decorated with bloody lines almost all over your body.

You didn’t know what was worse between laying on the raw scars of your back, seeing your own skin being peeled away or the cries and sobs coming from the man you loved. You had to find a way, you couldn’t give up, you couldn’t allow this monster to walk the earth again. You had to do it for Astarion.

You were not sure when he dropped you on the floor, your body barely able to hold itself together as finally you could look around you and towards Astarion. Every face around you was stoic, like they were used to witnessing such spectacle, and they knew what was going to happen next.

You wanted to reach for Astarion, to take him away from the revolting scene in front of his eyes, you wanted to take away his pain, give him the last bit of hope you had, but when you were about to link your tadpole to his to do it, you hesitated. Connecting your minds meant he would feel how dirty, wretched and lost you felt, along with the gut wrenching pain ebbing through your body.

You could barely make out the words Cazador said as his nails dig through your skin again, even when he pulled your eyes to his you could barely read his lips as he said words you just wanted to cancel from your brain. A broken sob regurgitated from your throat as he was going to take the last thing you had. You just had to let your brain go, right? To ignore the teeth dipping in your throat and the putrid hands slithering down your skin, taking away enough blood to barely keep you alive as he took you in front of everyone. It was no longer just physical pain, it was the way you felt your own body being stolen away and used in way no one ever dared before.

Numbness was all that was left of you after a while, of your barely beating heart while more hands crawled their way through places were you never wanted anyone to touch, then, in that moment, you realized you were free of your shackles, because you were so drained and broken that you could barely do anything. You could barely by aware of your surroundings, of how many bodies were preying on you, as you could barely manage to move inches.

Your vision was all but clear, you could make out the outline of Cazador as he was buttoning up his blouse again. Then you could see Astarion, still caged, struggling to stay sane as he wanted just to take you away from the monsters abusing of you, abusing of the fact that you were powerless in front of them. His eyes were a bloodshot, he was so hurt that he resorted to supplicate for mercy, to let you go and just kill him, whatever that could stop the agonizing pain. You didn’t have much strength left, maybe if you put all of yourself, you could muster two spells before passing out again.

It took all you had to even raise your hand towards the lock that sealed Astarion’s crate, you mustered all your willpower to cast that knock spell, just enough to let the damn lock fall down. Astarion instantly turned to you, to your teary form still being touched by unworthy creatures, noticing how your hand barely held up, as you tried to cast one more spell, just for him, before another broken scream echoed in the room, bouncing from wall to wall till it reached Astarion's core. The kind of scream that should never be drawn by someone, nevertheless by you.

The radiant dagger materialized in his hands, and for a moment he didn’t notice it as he was fixated on the broken look on your face, encouraging him to end his master, although you suffered right there, paces away. “I love you” You mutter barely, you wanted to let him know before you could draw your last breath, then everything blurred.

Everything was muffled, you couldn’t see what was going on around you, you just felt all the presences around you disappear, while Astarion’s voice was crystal clear through the excruciating pain.

"I'll kill you, then I'll bring you back, and kill you again.” He shoved Cazador on the floor, just like he did with you, to remind him how he hurt you, how he used you, how he touched the only person he should have never laid hands on. “I’ll do it over and over again until you have suffered a tenth of what you did to her. Then I'm going to gut you one more time, and paint this shithole with your putrid blood. The halls of this place will reek with your disgusting blood, to let the whole city be aware of your death and from which the hands it came from” His hands were shaky, but he had to do it. For him, but mainly for you. All that was left of him was you, and nothing could ever be enough to vindicate you.

The shiny dagger stabbed over and over again through Cazador’s chest, while Astarion cursed him, every thrust of the dagger through the heart earned a new mocking insult, a new reminder of what he did, while all of Astarion's anger was channeled into annihilating him.

You just laid there, all you could do was listen to the grunts and the hate slipping from your lover’s lips as he dipped that dagger in the gutted body. You didn’t even realized when he dropped the disemboweled body on the marble, you weren’t even sure you could breathe, at that point.

A pair of shaking arms wrapped around your drained body, Astarion’s shirt was used again to cover your skin, as he picked you up, trying to be as delicate as possible. His salty tears fell over your body as he carried away from the nauseating scene, you frail body barely shivering, and your chest barely moving. He was muttering something to you, but everything sounded foreign at your hear.

He had to move quickly, find Shadowheart or Halsin, or anyone to heal you, to keep you alive. It was in this moment that he wished he could beg a deity to keep you alive, but he didn’t trust anyone else to tend you. He needed to rush outside of this place and get you to safety.

He didn’t expect to see everyone outside the locked ballroom door, as they fumbled to open the door. They were taken by surprise at the sight of Astarion cradling you to his chest, all covered in blood, while his eyes were a pit of pain and tears.

Shadowheart didn’t hesitate to heal you right there before they all guided you towards the tavern you've been resting. They all offered to carry you, to make Astarion breathe a bit while on your way back there, but he refused. “I can’t..” He mumbled. “I don’t want..” His voice was just a whisper, broken. “I need” He wanted to break down again with you in his arms, but he had to lay you down first, to let you rest in a warm bed, he had to bring you to safety again, away from anyone that could pose any harm to you. He needed to see that smile again, cause no power flowing through his veins could have replaced you. He failed you once, he was not going to do it again. You saved him, twice, he had to do it just once for you. He had to thank you, and he had to tell you how much he loved you.

#astarion x tav #astarion ancunin #astarion x reader #astarion #astarion angst #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 tav #astarion x you #astarion fic #astarion romance #vault: lynn ☆#lynn: updates☆

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rassicas · 1 month

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hi guys! im back. i went tokyo for a few days. got back at 7 this morning after taking an overnight 7 hour bus ride.... that i did not sleep on bc i cant sleep in moving vehicles. this will be something closer to a proper blog post i guess. splatoon related convention? experience below

i've kept my mouth shut about my plans to go because its not as well known on the english side of the fanbase and i didnt wanna make people too jealous sorry LOL , but i went to splaket 22! it's an unofficial, splatoon-only doujinshi market/artists alley. this was my first convention-sort-of event ive been to since i was... in high school. i also dont really get to meet many other hardcore splatoon fans irl. i was nervous about it because i don't know a whole lot of people on the JP side nor do i have a lot of confidence in my japanese speaking/listening, but in the end it was SUPER fun. i wish i couldve talked a bit more to the artists i did encounter to comment on what i liked about their works but. Skill Issue very few non-japanese people at this event of course but one of the only english speakers i saw i called out to bc they were wearing a shirt with this exact image printed on it no video and no photos outside of designated areas were allowed so i got like. zero pics of my own. but there was a lot of cosplayers i saw! oh and here's the Loot Haul. a few doujin, a clear file, stickers, microfiber cloth and a keychain. im surprised at how little i got, i think i shouldve gone a bit crazier with it

the one with Tao Blu and oonie in the top left (by sachikazerick) I came across by chance and bought because it was cute, featured splatband characters, and also because it all in some familiar inkling language (the last point of which i told the artist as i was buying) when i finally got home and saw the back credits...

SMALL FUCKIN WORLD LOL (i tweeted at the artist afterwards to let him know i came by the table and to thank him for using me and my friend's inkling language fonts!) though truly, i think ardnin deserved the credit more rather than me since he made most of those fonts! ah well, still cool to see more and more fan works using deciphered inkling language. top middle book is a story with some salmonid characters that i havent read yet but im looking forward to it, the art is lovely. top right one was the first thing i bought. the artist is rk_splaworks, whose art i love, and we've been mutuals for a few years and have talked a bit here and there! i was so fucking nervous to meet them in person since my japanese sucks LMAO but they were happy to meet me too and we got a selfie together yippy <3 also havent read their doujin Yet since ill have to rub all my brain cells together and huddle over the dictionary, but i want their oc lore

ok that's all i'll say, next splaket is...june 22. very soon....im already thinking ill. go again. yknow. while im still in japan and all that. i guess ill have to study harder on my jp in the meantime teehee ...i doubt it, but in the off chance anyone following me is going to the next splaket in june lemme know!

#much of this is me cross posting my tweets from the past few days and then some #rassicas speaks #ive forgotten to make a tag for my non-ask original posts so i guess thatll be it #anyway ill get to work on translating that famitsu interview teehee

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rintaroll · 9 months

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❝ INSIDE THE LINES. ❞

— during matsukawa's time babysitting your niece, more than a couple realizations occur to you.

⊱┊pairing. matsukawa issei x gn!reader ⊱┊tags. fluff, established relationship, reader has a 6 year old niece and works at the bakery, food mention, mattsun has a sleeve tattoo :], unedited ⊱┊wc. 1.3k ⊱┊note. cleaning out my drafts hehe this was back when i had my mattsun brain rot (OH btw while writing this he works as a tattoo artist in my mind but i didnt mention it anywhere)

"issei, i'm so sorry-"

"it's fine," matsukawa waves his hand dismissively. his eyes flicker to the clock on the wall. "when are you coming home?"

"soon. i just have to frost the cupcakes and wait for the customer to pick them up." you pan your phone to the chocolate cupcakes, fresh out of the oven and still steaming hot.

"those look really good, babe." matsukawa muses.

you hear a small voice squealing from behind the camera. "i wanna see!"

your boyfriend chuckles, eyes trained on your niece, himeko, whose ears have perked up at the word 'cupcakes'. the six-year-old scrambles onto the sofa, comfortably nestling herself into matsukawa's side. her eyes widen when she finally sees the cupcakes in all their chocolatey goodness. "yummy..." she says, eyes boring into matsukawa's phone screen, unblinking and shiny.

you pan your phone back to your face. "they're not for you!" you remind her.

"i know!" himeko sighs dramatically, strands of hair falling onto her face. mattsun effortlessly brushes it back. "i have to wait for tomorrow so we can make them together."

"yes, that's right." you nod in approval.

"why can't it be tomorrow already?" she pouts. mattsun doesn't realize, but your eyes are trained on him while he stares at your niece while adorning an amused smile.

"hm," you ponder. "maybe if you sleep early tonight, then tomorrow will come earlier?" a sly grin forms on your lips.

himeko narrows her eyes at you. "that's not gonna work on me!"

you shrug. "worth a try."

matsukawa snickers at your failed attempt to trick her. "smart girl," he praises her before raising one of his hands, which is met with a high five from himeko. your niece then proceeds to stick her tongue out at you.

you shake your head, but there's a smile on your lips despite you doing so. she might as well steal your boyfriend at this point, you think to yourself.

you can almost remember the good times—when himeko was four and hiding behind your legs, while matsukawa was crouching in front of you. she was terrified, little hands gripping onto your pants. she told you he looked like a gangster, with all the tattoos covering the entirety of his right arm. "what if he kidnaps me?" she wailed once he leaves, to which you comfort her by saying that he won't. from her skeptic expression and her glassy eyes, it was safe to say that she was far from convinced.

and yet now here you are. with your boyfriend and your niece in cahoots, conspiring together to overthrow you someday.

"anyways, i was calling because she wanted me to tell you she finished her coloring book, isn't that right, hime?"

halfway through his words, himeko lets out an 'oh!' and jumps up from the couch. she picks up her coloring book off the floor, where it was surrounded by an assortment of colored pencils and markers in disarray. flipping to the last page, she proudly shows off her latest piece of work. "look!"

you gasp, genuinely admiring the effort she's put into coloring in the drawing of a fish. considering how she's just turned six, she's done a wonderful job in coloring inside the lines. "that looks so nice! did you do that all by yourself?"

"yep!" she chirps, nodding excitedly before stopping to ponder for a moment. "hm... i guess, uncle mattsun did help me color the amenomies..."

"anemones," matsukawa stage whispers.

"right, amenemones."

you and matsukawa bite back your laughs. "it looks really good, himeko," you comment, still smiling.

himeko nods absentmindedly. it becomes obvious to both you and matsukawa that her attention is not on either of you anymore. she goes out of frame as she continues to flip through her coloring book and zeroes in on her work, leaving matsukawa the only one left in view of the camera.

your eyes flit to the top of your phone screen, clicking your tongue when you read the time. "alright, i better go and start frosting. the customer will be here soon. bye, himeko! bye, baby."

matsukawa's heart flutters helplessly. he will never get tired of you calling him that. "see you," your boyfriend beams. although still engrossed by her coloring book, you hear your niece mumble a soft 'bye' right before the call ends.

pocketing his phone, matsukawa turns his focus back on himeko only to find her tiny lips curled into a frown. "something wrong, sweets?"

she looks up, with her brows all scrunched up. matsukawa feels his heart melt at the sight. "i'm out of pages. what will i color now?"

"i'll buy you another one tomorrow, okay?" he pokes her nose.

with a giggle, she scrunches her nose in effect. "okay."

an idea spontaneously strikes matsukawa. it might be one of the best ideas he's had in a while—the realization that himeko brings out his creative side more often than not quickly becomes an afterthought.

"actually, hime..."

her ears perk up, big eyes staring up at him. those big, doe eyes he has not learned how to say no to.

"i know something else you can color."

matsukawa was sure he saw himeko visibly light up when he offers his tattooed arm. he doesn't need to tell her twice. she expeditiously collects her markers off the ground—she's big enough to know that pencil colors won't be able to color in your skin!—and spreads them out on the sofa next to where both of them sit.

snuggled into his side, matsukawa has his tattooed arm around her as himeko starts to color in the tattoos from the ones on his forearm. "i'll make sure your arm looks extra pretty!" she exclaims excitedly.

"can you make it look as pretty as you are?"

himeko tilts her head to the side as she thinks of an answer. "hm... maybe. i'll try." the earnestness in her answer makes matsukawa chuckle.

as himeko continues, her inquiries about his sleeve don't stop. did it hurt? (just a little bit.) what's the meaning behind this one? (there's no meaning to that one. this one, however...) are you gonna get a tattoo of y/n? (i already did.) can i get one too? (matsukawa laughs awkwardly when he hears the last question, immediately changing the topic by asking her what her favorite color is. he doesn't want to get into trouble.)

the conversations tone down when himeko makes it halfway through matsukawa's forearm. he knows himeko turns quiet once she's focused. it's only when matsukawa feels her marker slip that he realizes that she has nodded off. making as little movement as possible, he closes the cap on the red marker that she was holding and puts it aside.

half an hour later, you tip-toe into your living room with the intention to surprise your boyfriend and your niece at heart. as you get closer, suspicions start to arise when you realize that it's awfully quiet.

wait, are they-

oh.

they are.

your heart blooms at the precious sight of matsukawa and himeko fast asleep on the couch. matsukawa's head is lolled back on the back of the sofa, his arms around himeko as she is curled up into his side. they look so comfortable and peaceful, soft snores coming out of the both of them with hideko's head rising up and down along with matsukawa's chest with every breath that he takes.

you just finished snapping a quick picture when realization sets in.

and no, it's not about how matsukawa has successfully won her over for good—that realization has set in a long time ago.

but it's realizing that you want to spend the rest of your life coming home to this sight. him dozing off on the sofa, waiting for you to come home, and maybe a child, or two, of your own curled up next to him.

vocabulary !

himeko is written like so: 姫子 in kanji. 姫 (hime) means princess, while 子 (ko) means child. mattsun's nickname for her is hime, which essentially means he calls her 'princess'.

#haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #matsukawa issei #mattsun #mattsun fluff #matsukawa fluff #matsukawa issei fluff #haikyuu fic #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu mattsun #mattsun x you #mattsun x reader #kiawrites

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itgetsbetterproject · 8 days

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📚 QUEERBOOK 2024 is hereee! We made a book by and for LGBTQ+ youth! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

Last year, we asked LGBTQ+ youth: what's your idea of a "queer utopia?"

Not gonna lie - with more than 150 bills introduced in 35 states in 2023 that aimed to restrict student access to inclusive and diverse books and other library materials, the theme felt pretty radical.

And you DELIVERED. With the help of our Youth Voices (amazing queer youth activists from across the country), we compiled your amazing submissions of poetry, short essays and letters, visual art, photography, and more into Queerbook 2024. Like a yearbook, it captures what queer youth are feeling, going through, and hoping for - right here, right now across the U.S.

It's also no accident that it's the perfect small-ish size to stash in your locker or backpack so you can crack it open any time you're looking for some queer connection. :3

Read some more about the book and grab your own limited-run copy of Queerbook 2024 now here.

#itgetsbetter #queerbook #lgbtq youth #queer youth #trans youth #queer lit #lgbtq books #studyblr #lgbtqia

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rat-that-writes · 2 years

Text

Play-Wrestling the Egos | HCs

a/n: i finally acquired the braincell

taglist: @softladyhours @chaos-carnation

tw: 2 references to sex but theres nothing explicit

🖤Dark🖤

sometimes he cheats and uses the shadow void tendril thingies

but most of the time he likes to watch you struggle to push him off you

he lets you sometimes just to see you all proud and determined but then just squishes you again

if you get him while he’s not focused on Squashing You then you could maybe win if he’s tired

8 times out of 10 you are getting folded though

evil evil evil boy /aff

💙Damien💙

ALWAYS lets you win hes a gentleman

he loves seeing you so proud of yourself

although he does put up a bit of a fight so you’re even more proud when you do win

hes usually the one to initiate it

just tackles you into bed sometimes

one time you wrestled on the sofa downstairs and the poor butler almost had a heart attack he thought unsavoury activities were taking place

you both ran upstairs blushing and giggling

❤️Actor Mark❤️

always loses

even if he’s physically bigger and/or stronger than you he will lose every time because he doesnt know how to fight

he just pouts and tells you if he doesn’t get kisses he will die immediately

baabyyyyyyy you’re gonna mess up my hairrrrr

you could fold him like a wet towel and he couldn’t even do anything about it

sopping wet pool noodle of a man /aff

💛Illinois💛

“awww, darlin, you look so cute trying to be tough”

sometimes he lets you win because you look so cute all proud

but you also look cute all pouty when you lose

hes enjoying it immensely either way

but if you wear his hat he’ll be too distracted to win

but that involved stealing the hat first and he knows what you’re going to do if he gives you his hat

CHASE him for the hat

🤍Yancy🤍

lets you think you’re winning then BAM you’re underneath him and he is GRINNING

apologises with kisses

“i’m sorry angel i just love the squeaks you make when i flips youse over”

tell him hes mean and he will smother you in kisses

he will tackle you without warning if he’s consumed caffeine

🚀Engineer Mark🚀

its 50/50 with him

sometimes he’ll let you win and sometimes he will remind you about all those muscles underneath his space suit

“come on Captain, you can’t fight me off? you’re adorable. Maybe i’ll let you win next time.”

but if you REALLY try he will let you win because oh my god thats even cuter look at youuuuu

celci caught you two once and didnt speak to mark for 6 days she was absolutely disgusted /hj

to be fair she did also think you were indulging in unsavoury activities

🔪Murdock🔪

if you ask him if he wants to play wrestle he will chase you first

with no warning

“hey murdock wanna wrestle-“

*gets up and bolts towards you menacingly*

then when you’re too tired from running to fight back he gently holds you down and smiles so evil at you

awful bastard man /aff

but sometimes he lets you win if he’s really tired and you’re already in bed

he does little growls when he’s tired

he pretends to fall asleep once you think you’ve won then he flips you over and sleeps on you

nasty terrible boy /aff

🌌God of Night🌌

“why are you trying to fight me”

“because it’s fun!”

🧍🏻‍♂️

he doesn’t know what to do about this

you are pushing him and dragging him with all your strength but hes yknow a GOD so he’s just

🧍🏻‍♂️

eventually picks you up like a wet sponge and kisses your head

its like a “good effort” sticker

🏃🏻‍♂️Heehoo🏃🏻‍♂️

why would you even try this

he is winning the second you put your hand on him

you are getting tumbled around like sack of onion

one onion

your brain is the onion

if you let him he’d throw you up in the air like pizza pie

he makes sure to keep you from getting any bruises or injuries though

careful boy even if he is treating you like a tennis ball

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mychlapci · 4 months

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Megatitties! Apologies for the 2nd post sent recently cause i wanna add onto the other anon who spoke about the megaboobs.

Megatron would definitely feed his bitlets whenever they demanded it, 100% spoiling them because they’re so demanding and he’s proud of their angry, half-babbled glyphs repeated until their carrier finally scoops them up, opens his chest-plates and let them greedily drink from his nozzles, giving the odd growl when they didnt share with their eachother. Him being oddly soft when one of the sparklings falls asleep, still sleepily trying to hoard a nozzle for itself, that he ends up sitting on his throne, going over some datawork with sleeping bitlets cuddling against his titties <3

Maybe it gets out to the autobots that Megatron has bitties, and now theres faction wide interrogation, clearly led by prowl and Maybe Optimus, because why do 4/5 of the bitties have blue optics. Unless Megatron carries that gene (he 100% doesnt since 1 little bitty has red optics) the sire is an autobot. Prowl has his suspicions and intel-reports show that these tiny bitlets share a decent amount of red..

Nobody admits it, nobody wants to admit it. But when a intel-report comes in saying Megatron is sparked again, all hell breaks loose in the middle of a battlefield. Nobody can do anything to stop prowl as he storms over to Optimus and DEMANDS an explanation. The Decepticons have definitely made bets on who would be bold enough to fuck their leader until he was sparked up, Who would put their spike anywhere near their crazy, stubborn, psychotic leader’s valve? And who would do it TWICE? But now they’re all making bets on how many times both leaders have gone at it away from the battlefield, or even on the battlefield depending on the horny meter. And making bets on when Prowl is gonna crash / bluescreen.

- Chase anon <3

Also, whats your opinion on Megaratch and Megop? I definitely favourite Megaratch but rambling about the two leaders, because technically they can say them fucking isnt treason since they make the rules, is needed.

oh god, Megatron's angry little bitlets rocking red plating and blue optics, which isn't something that the autobots find out until someone who was in Megatron's capture escapes and explains to the high command that one of their comrades, not pointing any fingers, seemed to have put their dick inside Megatron and created these oddly adorable abominations. The decepticons clearly realize that their leader's sparklings were co-created by an autobot, but none of them are going to say anything about it, what are you, nuts? The only one who says anything is Starscream, and he got his ass kicked by Megatron the moment the words “autobot spike” left his mouth. So everyone is just silently placing bets, but they're pretty sure it's gotta be Optimus. They theorized Prowl for a while, but the guy just isn't red enough.

Prowl literally realizing it must be Optimus the first time he sees the sparklings on a recording Jazz brought back from a spy mission, but he tries to not jump to conclusions. Until rumour comes around that Megatron is sparkled again. This means that sometime during their last big battle, Optimus and Megatron must have strayed into the shadows and their dear, beloved, righteous leader shoved his spike into Megatron, out of all bots, and made him mewl over and over again until his gestation tank was so full his frame had no choice but to start making another batch of bitlets. The first batch is still getting breastfed, Optimus, what the fuck - Prowl, probably, in a fit of rage, not really aware what he's even saying anymore.

also btw Chase anon… why must your brain be so big. i am now forced to admit that megaratch is actually my guilty pleasure ship. I love megop dearly with my life, theyre my toxic old man yaoi, but… shit, you hit the nail on the head. Can I just indulge and say... Prowl screaming at Optimus, demanding to know what was he thinking, and Optimus is thoroughly confused until Prowl just straight up asks him if he'd fucked Megatron. Everyone's so angry that their bets fell through when Optimus swears he didn't. Well... then who did the blue optics and red paint come from?

#valveplug #pregnancy mention

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justarandomgirly · 11 months

Text

Why are so many people uncapable of doing things alone? Like when I was on a trip with few friends and they refused to go down to hotel restaurant for breakfast without me,eventho I told them to go without me cos I wanted to sleep and I had time til 10.30,when they stopped serving breakfast.

Or when one wanted to see this statue, it was literally few steps from hotel, and didnt go alone and kept bothering us "come already,I wanna see it". And dont tell me "they didnt wanna go without you cos its rude" because I always tell people,I specify,that I dont mind, since Im introvert. I prefer to go eat breakfast alone,nobody commenting how food or coffee at restaurant sucks,ruining meal for me.

Or my other friend refusing to go on vacation with me, just ladies,because she wont go without her bf,who btw is telling her to go, he is not one of those who lock their spouses at home, he also doesnt wanna go because he says he'd rather invest that money into his car, and maybe even welcome few quiet days without her...So i stopped inviting her with me cos its always "but i will go only if he does".

I see now,as I get older, that being introverted has a lot of advantages. You dont wait for anybody to do shit. You just go and do it yourself. You dont wait for anyone to solve problems like find out which gate or platform you must go to. Your brain is always active cos youre solving problems, nonstop,only you yourself.

Or are they so extroverted and chatty they literally cant eat without making smalltalk? I dont know. Im just ranting.

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the-banana-0verlord · 1 month

Note

Answer some or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles?

Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?

What was the last song you listened to?

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

Do you prefer drawing or writing?

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?

What’s your favorite band/artist?

When is your birthday?

How tall are you?

What color are your eyes?

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?

Fears?

What’s your favorite color?

What’s your favorite season?

Want any tattoos? What of?

Want any piercings? Where?

Who is the last person you texted?

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?

What/who do you miss?

How was your day today?

How much sleep did you get last night?

Do you believe in aliens?

When was the last time you cried? Why?

What’s your favorite decade?

What are some seemingly childish things you like?

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?

How are you, really?

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?

What are you looking forward to in the near future?

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

What’s your favorite flower?

Do you currently have a squish?

Do you like your middle name?

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

Do you have any phobias?

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?

What’s your favorite cartoon?

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many?

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

Is there anyone you would die for?

What do you need when you’re sad?

Have you memorized your phone number?

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?

What does your last text say?

Wild Card. Any question, ask away.

Alright, ill try lmao

1.no, i dont have freckles!

2. I WISHED i found Coffee and tea good because its so aesthetic but it tastes bad imo

3. I checked my spotify and its girls just wanna have fun by cyndi lauper so i suppose its that

4.i move a lot but i usually end up on my side.

5. I move too much to sleep with a lot of them because they always end up on the floor. Although i do sleep with my malleus plushie.

6. Thats a hard one, because i do both. Though i think of writing as my primary hobby/eventual job, i definitely have more fun drawing(until art Block comes knocking that is)

7.depends on the thickness. Right now i have three eith two being thin and one being medium, but i could sleep with one really thick one.

8. Mitski!!! I love her so much. Otherwise I like mother mother and marina

9.the third of november!

10. 154 cm or 5 feet. No that is not short

11. Blue-grey-kaki. I like to think of them as blue.

12. All my mutuals, all my irls, my mom, my dad, and my little sister

13. Abandonnent, failure, the future in general.

14. Yellow and light blue!

15.fall! Its so pretty

16. Im not sure yet but i can maybe have someday a small tattoo. Im not a fan of qhoel body tattoos for myself.

17. Well my ears a pierced but im not gonna get more.

18. My two irls! Talking about not getting neuvillette in gneshin ;-;(and murder)

19. I dont have a best friend per se, although i do have a closest friend. Weve been friends for at least three years(already? Damn)

20. Honestly i miss my first mutual on here. I hope they come back soon ;-;

21. It just started but its been pretty good up til now!

22. About 9-10 hours?

23. I mean, there is bound to be other forms of life in space, just thousands of lightyears away.

24. Monday cause my friend said she didnt think we were friends.

25. Id say 1890 to 1900? Though the living conditions were meh i like the aesthetic

26. Generally being silly ig? I suppose i act childihs as a comic relief.

27. Currently my favorite book(s) is the Truly Devious series by Maureen Johnson! It's been clawing it's way into my brain.

28. I'm actually doing quite fine. I'm a bit stressed since i'm going to boston soon but i can push out the bad thoughts!

29. I usually procrastinate decisions as far as possible. If it's a small one maybe like 2 minutes but if it's bigger ones it'll take longer(with the answer being no a lot)

30. Something i'm dreading but also am excited for is summer! Bye school but hello summer job ;-;

31. My irls and i(can i really call them irls? i met only two of them irl and once or twice. anyways-) are planning a roadtrip after we're all 18(aka in a bit more than 4 years)!

32. Either my friend's (irls+ moots) houses or in paris. I've always wanted to see paris.

33.open, my cats need to be free to walk in and out!

34. sunflowers and roses(i have a list on the meaning of each rose color) daisies are also cute.

35. i...guess? i own a banana shaped stress ball(that is very dirty i dont use it much) but idk if it counts as a squish.

36. yes, almost more than my first name. although my first and second name are kinda in the same name. it's like first name-second name.

37.cats!!! I have two(named chicken nugget and nebraska)(my family also owns dogs but oh well)

38. I'm a bit scared of heights but i wouldn't say i have a phobia

39. i usually go to sleep at 10:30 pm on weekdays, and 11:00-11:00 on weekends(when i don't have to wake up early due to sunday class)

40.Although i haven't been to a real beach a lot, i like it! And i always prefer sunny days so sun it is(to experience sunset on a beach... must be the dream)

41. I'd say the owl house! It's so colorful with two of my main kins.

42. @xen-blank @thehollowwriter @quartztwst @boopshoops @saionjeans (so sorry for the tag non-moots! Also i would've included all my moots but it said five ;-;)

43. Yes, i have five siblings! One oldest sister, two older brother, a little brother and the baby of the family, my little sister. i have middle child syndrome.

44. Either my mom or my little sister. I hug and say i love you to them very often. Or i said it to malleus last. One of them.

45. Tbh i have no idea in which circomstances i would die for something. maybe if i could trade my life with someone's close to me. or for peace on earth idk.

46. a big ol hug from my malleus plushie. it's a real emotional support.

47. no i have not. or maybe i did. i will probably forget it soon.

48. my two parents absolutely.

49."I wish to expérience it someday" (speaking of old lady gossip)

50. can i send you the same questions? :3

#ok now enough ramblings about myself #banana's moots #bananaanswersasks

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