lynnlovesthestars - Tumblr blog

lynnlovesthestars · 3 days

Text

Other beginnings.

Pairing: Astarion x lynn

Summary: if they met post tadpole.

genre: trauma dump, character study, lynn's background mentions?

Lynn doesn't know how he ended up on the rooftop with a stranger, a vampire at it, but at that point, knowing his story you wouldn't be surprised, right? It did happen in the past already, with that lonely pirate he met in a similar setting. The bustling sound of the tavern, and the ale flowing throughout his veins made it obvious how he needed a shoulder to cry on.

Though at this point you would expect him to pull Jenneleth out of the group, and bring her somewhere peaceful to talk, to open your heart, but since the last time, he didn't want to burden her.

So when Lynn and his companions were approached by this tiefling dude dared to dance with Jenneleth, he just let it all happen, he put on his mask again as he saw her brightly smile, and followed him just paces away. And that's how their groups slowly melted one with another.

Alfred and Karlach were playing a silly game about slapping hands, and Anemouran was showing his icy dagger trick to Gale, Tav and Shadowheart. They mentioned one of their group members who recently left, and that reminded him of Dolar, who ended up almost killing Lynn in their last adventure. Fuck Dolar, he thought in that moment as he downed another glass and ended up scoffing his way out of the tavern, looking for a quiet place.

Initially, Lynn was looking for a tree nearby, but as he noticed the plaza being too crowded, he opted for the rooftop; no one would notice him there, if he slipped out of his current disguise. He didn't like taking the appearance of the lonely pirate, it felt tainted, but it truly was the only disguise he had that didn't haunt him with nightmares.

He had to take so many forms over time, but some of them, the ones he had to wear the longest, bore memories that made him nauseous, disgusted at them and at himself, but that was the length he had to go through to survive. If he could just turn back to the day where everything fell apart, he would in an instant, but instead of running from the fire, he'd just let the flames consume him, like he was supposed to.

He didn't notice someone was spying on him, his senses were clouded by the memories resurfacing as soon as he let his body slump and morph again in his own.

He untied his long white air, letting the braid unravel as he remembered the softness of Jenneleth's fingers when she wanted to braid his hair.

He looked at his hands as the purple-ish complexion of the pirate slowly faded to white, and his hands took again the familiar look, slender with the nails carefully polished and grown, and as soon as the right hand started darkening as well, he knew he couldn't watch it happen. He couldn't watch his curse ebb through his skin again until it reached his neck, reminding him he was a failure after all.

If it wasn't for the curse, he would have loved his right arm, cause he truly made him different from his kind, and yet all he felt was despair. Of course he couldn't see his eyes darken and shift, but Astarion did. He was hidden behind the chimney as he saw the changeling letting go, while tears started forming at the edge of the pitch black eyes.

Lynn took his time also changing his shirt. The fancy red and gold shirt he was wearing ended up discarded in his bag as he pulled out a different shirt.

It was simpler, a white flowy blouse with large ruffled cuffs and collar, which Astarion couldn't help but admire. It was finely tailored, though the blood stain on the right cuff was a sore eye. It fit him well, the vampire thought, as Lynn pulled the strings of the collar to untie them and leave his chest exposed partially, making the pearlescent skin glisten in the moonlight. So similar to him, yet so different.

Astarion was so absorbed looking at the change happening in front of his eyes, that didn't even notice the magic hand appear behind him, a ghostly looking one, unlike his own, which tapped on his shoulder.

Astarion turned surprised, about to cuss whoever distracted him and made him gasp, but when he saw the hand, he knew it was certainly not one of his companions.

When he turned towards Lynn, the changeling was about to burst out laughing at his reaction: though Astarion didn't hear how loudly he gasped, Lynn did and he found it amusing.

"You know? For someone that's supposed to hide well, you sure made a lot of noise" The changeling laughed, even if voice changed, from the high pitched one of the tiefling, to the husky, raspy voice of someone that didn't speak in a while.

Astarion composed himself again, straightening his back and pulling out his sly smile.

"I wanted to make myself seen" He smiled mischievously at the changeling before walking towards him, and sitting next to the man.

"Right." Lynn muttered as he pulled up his legs to his chest and rested his head atop his knees, while he admired the moon.

"Right," Astarion repeated as he crossed his legs in front of him, and let the silence fill the space between them, unsure of what to say. He didn't think it through when he followed Lynn, he was endeared by the way he reacted to the things happening around him, and when he saw Lynn walk away sulking, he felt a tug towards him. That's how he ended up hidden, but surely he couldn't say it, it would have been too embarrassing.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this" Lynn chuckled bitterly, while his face was hidden by the long white hair. "It must have been disgusting or something like that" He laughed, but it sounded so broken in the moment, Astarion felt a pang in his chest as the words hit so close to his heart, though he didn't think Lynn was disgusting, he was actually rather dazed from his pretty face.

"I beg to differ. '' Astarion stared in front of him, somewhat afraid to look in the changeling eyes like Lynn could expose him and his secrets. "You look rather handsome" He let out. For a moment Astarion wanted to place a hand on the man's shoulder, but he stopped when Lynn let out a sound he couldn't recognize. A mix between a bitter laugh and a sob, Lynn was hurting, and Astarion had absolutely no idea of how to deal with emotions. Tav was the good one at them, they helped Astarion so much in exploring his emotions, and teaching him he was his own person, but he had no idea how to comfort someone, no less someone he knew basically nothing of. But he knew what Lynn felt, putting up a more pleasant façade while the true him was hurting hidden behind it.

"Sorry, I'm miserable" Lynn whispered as he played with the ruffled cuffs, trying to scrape off that blood stain. Astarion was petrified, he truly wanted to say something, how he didn't need to explain himself, cause he understood he was hurt, but the words would not come out of his lips. So he just allowed Lynn to let it all out.

"Do you ever wonder if you deserved to have a second chance at life?" Lynn let out catching Astarion by surprise, how the fuck did the changeling know? Was he truly that obvious? He was about to reply, when Lynn corrected himself quickly. "Sorry, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about" He sighed while he started to ramble. "You know, I had it all" He fumbled back, laying down and looking at the sky, Astarion could see his face, and the stain of a tear sulking in his skin.

"I had a loving family, I had friends and I had a woman that loved me, nobody cared if i could barely control my magic, and never made me feel ashamed of.." He trailed off pointing at himself. "Myself"

Astarion nodded at his words, as the changeling opened up so easily, like a book that wanted to be read, but was always brushed off. Where some pages were perfectly readable, written in perfect handwriting and clearly read over and over again, while other pages were frayed, old, the ink was smeared and tried to be erased, which were always discarded.

"I still don't remember precisely what happened that night, I'm not gonna lie. I just remember waking up feeling like I was being crisped on the fire" His voice was shaky, wet, he was so close to tears, but Lynn needed it. He needed to let go, and only who saw him for who he was and did not judge him, made him feel comfortable enough to spill it out uncontrollably.

Lynn knew it was not good to trauma dump like this, he knew better than to burden someone with his problems, but once he started being openly miserable, he just rode the tide. Whoever was on the receiving end of his sad tale, was going to leave him anyway at the end of the day. Whether it was for his true form, or for his avoidant behavior.

"When I rushed downstairs I found my parents on the floor, at the end of the stairs.” He wiped away one tear. "I was terrified, but I dragged them out despite everything. I tried all that I could to bring them back, I had a little grimoire with some healing spells scribbled on it, but they didn't work, not even a bit" He chuckled dryly at his own words. "I should have known though, cause I was barely able to cast any spell without losing control, but anyway, after leaving them outside, I had to rush to her." Both Astarion and Lynn were holding their breath, afraid for the words that were about to slap them in the face. "If i only woke up a few minutes earlier, i could have saved her, i could have done anything for her." Astarion didn't realize one single tear rolled down his cheek at the words of the changeling, his voice breaking right at the end of the sentence. "Instead I had to pull her out, and all i did was sob, on her cold dead body, while the rest of the fucking village was burning down." What do you even say to someone when they tell you this shit? Astarion thought, before he remembered when he vented to Tav, not so different from how Lynn did it.

"I couldn't do much, all I wanted to do was run away from that place, as far away as I could, I wanted to forget everything that happened, just take on a different life, with a happy story and whatever, all I always knew was gone after all. So i gave them a proper burial, in our village we had the habit of burying the dead next to a lake, where all the women would give birth, like the dead could bless the newly living or whatever" He sighed. "So I dug three holes in the ground. Since I did it with my bare hands, I couldn’t even go too far down before being exhausted, maybe they are 1 or 2 feet underground, resting there, in unmarked tombs." His voice was so shaky, so broken it was like he was digging those graves in Astarion's chest, plucking his heart out of his ribcage. It was a different pull for Astarion, he never felt like this, seeing such raw emotions unfold in front of his eyes, he knew just one other person that suffered so much, and it was him. It was like an instinct he had deep in his heart, he wanted to kiss away the pain, to let Lynn feel loved, allowing him to be vulnerable in his arms. If Astarion didn't know any better, he'd believe in love at first sight, at soulmates, at people being destined to be together, where that red string that tied them together, would pull taught whenever the other was hurting.

Lynn took a moment before closing his heartbreaking vent, he tried to get his breath to steady itself again, cause he had to put that mask back on, he couldn’t let it all out, though he literally went down on one of the most haunting memories of his life.

“So i was able to retrieve very few things from my home: this shirt, a pair of leather pants and my boots” He sighed. “And then that’s how i ran away, just hiding in other people’s stories, and eventually found myself here on this rooftop, venting to a complete stranger about how i wish i burned in that fire”

Astarion didn’t know what to say in the beginning, Lynn was already starting to apologize and mumble about how Astarion didn’t have to say anything, cause at the end of the day words of comfort would do nothing but illude him that he could have had a chance at happiness, and even a split second of hope, was too much for him, making him greedy to have all the hope, before being shattered again, and going forward without hope was the only way of going forward without being torn down. Astarion could sense that ‘hiding into other people’s stories’ referred to something much more painful, but that the changeling was not ready to talk about.

Astarion joined Lynn’s silence, laying next to him, his hands just an inch away from each other, and Astarion had to resist the urge to link his fingers with Lynn’s.

“I understand what you mean” He let it out himself. “I was given a second chance at life, and so many times I wished I was never given this chance.” He had to go slow, he did this only once before and it was still very hard for him. “When I woke up under the dirt, when I had to claw my way back out of a makeshift casket, starving for something I couldn't quite understand at the time, I was terrified too” He chuckled.

“This monster was waiting for me, to drag me in his dungeons with hundreds of other poor boys and girls forcibly turned into spawns” He hesitated, he didn’t want to go too deep, cause his wounds were still raw, it was barely days since he killed Cazador he was afraid of checking whether some of his scars were still bleeding too much to put them into words. “He is my master” He stopped before correcting himself. “Sorry, my old master, before the whole tadpole thing in Baldur's gate, I’m sure you’ve heard of that” He pointed as he nodded, the story arrived in every corner of the realm.

“Well, I killed Cazador, but that’s a story for another night, I suppose” He laughed. “Anyways, he was a vampire lord in Baldur’s Gate, head of his coven. He loved power over people. He turned me nearly two hundred years ago, I became his spawn and he became my tormentor” He knew how this would go, Lynn would ask if he was a slave of some sort, so he explained before facing that question again.

“A vampire spawn is less than a slave, I had no choice but to do his bidding, like a puppet. Sometimes it was him inflicting torture on us, some other times he’d order to torture each other. It was up to his mood” He sighed.

“I’m sorry, it must have been terrible” Lynn turned his head towards Astarion, taking a glance at the vampire while listening to him open up. Was this what Jenneleth meant when she said “Maybe you should meet some sort of healer of the mind” that one time while Lynn vented about his fears. It was in a way, healing. He thought as Astarion was now deep in his story.

“It’s not a matter of pity, he’s dead already. I just have to simmer with these feelings until they go away.” He sighed. “But do they ever go away? Do you ever stop fearing the shadows in the back alleys? Do you ever get to walk a road without the fear of being hunted down by some mercenaries at his bidding?” He knew where this was heading, it was inevitable.

“So Cazador did what? He killed you and turned you?” Lynn was trying to gauge at the situation, the idea of someone this vile hurting poor souls anguished Lynn, he hated it.

“No, he didn’t kill me, a gang of thugs did after a ruling i passed down as magistrate, and Cazador was already in the shadows preying on me. He offered me the choice of death or eternal life.” Astarion pushed back his hair, one of the curls fell in front of his eyes, and he couldn’t stand it. “I was a fool to accept, but in front of death I guess, eternal life, seemed like a good deal. Only later I realized how long “eternity” is” He pulled up his hand, bringing it in front of his eyes, allowing him to see the way his fingers trembled at the sole memory of what happened next.

Lynn wanted to say something comforting, but that was Jenneleth’s quality, not his. He was good at very few things, so he scooted closer to Astarion, his right hand reaching to Astarion’s pale one, and bringing it close to him, Lynn’s finger tightly intertwined with his to give him the strength to walk back on those steps. It was not much in a way, but it meant so much for Astarion. His hand, clasped in the changeling, slowly came to a rest, the muscles of his arm giving in to the touch in a way that was so foreign to him, and yet so warm.

“He had me lure victims to him, using…” He hesitated a second, looking for words that made it seem less harsh than what it actually was. “my body, to put it nicely” Lynn’s hand faltered for a second, Astarion could tell it was something that Lynn was not completely foreign to, but then his grasp got firmer, almost tugging Astarion’s hand closer to his chest. “Then he’d ask me if I wanted to dine with him. If i said yes he’d feed me a putrid rat, and if i said no, he’d have me flayed”

For Lynn it was an instinct, something he learnt from Jenneleth when he first had to go in such depth about his past, he let go of Astarion’s hand, before his arms reached for him, for his waist, wrapping around it tightly, and bringing the elf to his chest.

He didn’t care if they barely knew each other, didn’t know what they liked to eat, yet they knew about each other’s scars, he just wanted to ease that pain that was haunting them.

It took a moment for Astarion to put together what was happening, the way he was being held was so intimate, so warm. He could feel the heart of the man beating against his ear as he took him the warmth of his body. No words were shared, no I’m sorrys, no It’s okays, just the sobs into each other's arms, as they both got washed over the realization of what happened. The realization that there was one who could have understood them like no one else could. The realization that they didn’t feel judged.

Usually Lynn would fall asleep quickly after crying, it was his routine after all, to sob until his body gave out, but then he noticed the elf, still in his arms, still holding tight and he couldn’t understand if Astarion was meditating, or if he was asleep asleep, he couldn’t check his pulse anyways. So he sat up, careful not to stir the vampire too much as he picked him up.

When he finally made it down to the front door of the tavern, the only sounds coming from there were the humming of the orc that was cleaning the glasses at the bar, their friends already scattered in their rooms. Lynn wasn’t surprised, after a while his companions got used to him disappearing, and reappearing at two in the morning.

He tried once more his best to not be loud, to cradle the man in his chest tight, as he made his way towards the stairs that lead to the rooms. He didn’t know how Astarion and his companions organized themselves, but he didn’t want to disturb anyone’s sleep, so he tiptoed towards his room, sneaking in silently, as he placed the vampire in his bed. Lynn only took off Astarion’s boots before tucking the linen to his neck and caressing delicately the cold skin of the elf. He took his time, braiding his hair in front of the mirror, undressing himself and taking a peak at the scars that decorated his white chest, and then he pulled out his bedroll and unrolled it on the floor, close to the bed, just enough that he could know when the elf awoke, or whatever elves did.

He laid to sleep, keeping his pillow close to his chest like every night, as for once he didn’t need to sob to fall asleep.

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lynnlovesthestars · 3 days

Text

Mess.

Pairing: Astarion x oc. genderfluid tav, he/him pronouns.

Genre and warnings: Smut, fluff, trauma talk, body worship.

words: 2k? more? idk

AN: my therapist told me to post everything i finished so here i am

Astarion tugged Lynn with him, despite hating the disaster that his tent was, he promised he'd open up to him, and that included his personal mess. "I apologize for.. what this is" Astarion blushed ever so slightly. "I understand if you don't-" Lynn stopped him, uncaring for the blood jars forgotten in the corner or the ragged baby blanket he kept on top of his bedroll.

"Astarion, I don't care" Lynn smiled tenderly. "My tent isn't any better" He admitted. He was good at hiding what he didn't want anyone to see, and that included his mess of mementos and the fewest belongings he had. "I don't care as long as I can hold you" Lynn gently squeezed Astarion's hand, tugging him towards the bedroll. It was not particularly big, it barely fit the two as they laid close, looking at each other.

They started slowly, with their foreheads pressed together and their hands intertwined. "May I?" Astarion shyly raised Lynn's hand to his lips, while he earn a nod from the changeling, a soft smile curled on his lips as Astarion kissed each knuckle delicately, as if Lynn was made of porcelain.

Lynn couldn't hold back the blush, as Astarion smiled back at him. "May I?" Lynn asked softly, just inches away from his lips. At Astarion's agreement, Lynn leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on Astarion’s temple. Astarion huffed delicately, taken aback. He didn’t expect Lynn to go for his forehead, he was ready to taste his lips, he missed those lips.

It was such a pure moment for the two, their hearts hammering in their chest as they delicately caressed the other, slowly daring to push each other's boundaries and come closer.

They had promised to heal together, to overcome their nightmares, and slowly, they were making it one caress at a time.

“Let me be your mirror again” Lynn gently wrapped his arms around Astarion’s frame, taking him in his embrace, as he noticed the impatience in Astarion’s movements. They ached so much for each other that taking it slow was godsdamned hard.

“Are you going to compliment my ears again?” He rolled his eyes playfully. As much as he wanted to admit the contrary, he had appreciated the way Lynn had complimented those small details, no one ever did, and it felt.. nice.

“I might” He laughed softly. “They look very bitable if you ask me” He leans closer, his breath caressing the tip of his ear, making Astarion shiver under the hot gust.

“Please..” Astarion almost moaned as he curled against Lynn’s chest, as if he tried to hide.

“Please what? Little love” Lynn cooed before kissing his temple.

“Don’t bite my ear, they are sensitive” Astarion quipped softly, glad his cheeks were out of sight, that strangled moan had been enough to reveal.

“I shall not bite them, I promise” The changeling couldn’t help but cradle the man closer, making sure they were both tucked snugly in the bedroll.

“But they are pretty, I don’t know how to explain it” He mumbled as one of his hands gently lifted his chin. “Your eyes though” He hesitated looking for the proper words. There was something about them that made it hard to describe, they were like pools of emotions and Lynn feared Astarion didn’t know how much they reflected.

“What, are they ugly?” Astarion raised an eyebrow both confused and scared Lynn might not like the crimson shade that tinted his iris. He had always been confident, mindless of other’s opinions, yet when it came to Lynn it was different.

“No, absolutely not” He murmured. “They are mesmerizing, and they reveal much more than what you think”

“You think so?”

“Mhmh” Lynn nodded as he caressed his cheek and kissed his forehead again, stealing a little hum of satisfaction from Astarion that was slowly melting in the grasp again. “Sometimes, I could tell when your confidence would falter” He admitted. “Your eyes would tell me if I was talking to you, or to you”

“So obvious uh?” He sighed, not entirely defeated. With Lynn he felt as if those moments where his persona would slip, were not an error, it was natural- between the fear and the growing feelings in his stomach, to the point that now his mask his almost always tucked away when he’s alone with the changeling. He trusted him enough to be his true self, he realized.

“I don’t know, it might be that I stared at them so hard too” He said sarcastically to ease down the mood again. “But to me, they are truly a mirror to your soul” Silence dropped over the two as Lynn gently caressed his cheek, to move to his lips, tracing his lower lip. “Your lips are irresistible” He had to fight the urge to lean in and steal another kiss.

“And your cheeks” He sighed as he admired the way they started taking the almost lovely shade of pink again. “i love when you blush, they take the smallest color and you look so alive”

“Are you implying I look dead the rest of the time?” He joked, this time not hiding the blush but rather flaunt the reddish shade of his cheek.

“No” Lynn couldn't suppress his laugh. “you know what I mean.. cause you feel it too” He closed his eyes, gently brushing the tip of their noses together, followed by Astarion that closed his eyes as well.

“Your neck..” He sighed as he gently cradled Astarion's head, tilting it to the side and exposing his supple neck as if he was the one about to bite. “I wish I could kiss it all day” He left an open mouthed kiss on the exposed skin, and another where his shoulder met his neck. “Your chest doesn’t rise, but it isn’t any less calming” He whispered under his breath, aching to lower himself and kiss his sternum, yet resisting for another moment.

“Your arms” He gently traced the bicep barely accentuated by their position. “You are not that strong, but you hold me so tight sometimes I melt.” He admitted as he brought one of his hands to his mouth. “And your hands” He groaned satisfied just at the look. “They fit so nicely in mine” He kissed the back.

“So cliche” Astarion blushed and giggled as one cute fang was exposed from his lips.

“I might be but they grasp so nicely at my hips, and they cup perfectly my cheek, I might just say they were made for me” He cooed as he kissed each fingertip softly.

“You are going to make me cringe at this rate” Astarion teased with the gentlest smile as he looked away for a moment.

“And yet you are blushing and smiling, If I didn’t know any better..” Lynn trailed off before being stopped by Astarion. “Don’t say it”

“Okay little love, I won’t” Lynn laughed. “But let me just say, right now you are sitting perfectly in my arms, and maybe I don’t want you to ever leave my grasp”

“Lucky for you I don’t want to move from here” Astarion leaned forward to kiss the tip of Lynn’s nose.

They laid like that for what felt eternity, as they grazed and kissed each other skin with fleeting and gentle lips, murmuring sweet nothings as they enjoyed the calm of the night. Lynn didn’t care whether in the morning he was going to regret not resting, but being so close to Astarion, being touched so softly was worth every sleepless second spent kissing. It was almost intoxicating, the grasps and gasps had him high on the feeling.

It was moments later that Lynn shivered. Astarion's finger grazed over his hip instantly having his hands tightened it's grip on Astarion's. "Everything okay, darling?" He asked tenderly as he moved his hand to Lynn's cheek, gently tracing the swell of his cheek.

Lynn nodded as a single tear rand down the peachy skin. "Hips are.. one of my trigger areas, I haven't been touched so softly there ever” He had told Astarion about this past, the four years of confinement and what they made of him, yet he couldn’t bring himself to share the details, where touch would feel like scorching pain and when love would turn to agony.

Astarion moved closer, his body flush against Lynn's, his body heat enveloping Astarion tenderly. The elf's hand reached for Lynn's cheek again, catching the rolling tear with his thumb. "I understand" Astarion pressed his forehead against Lynn's, eyes closed, just their breath mixing in the middle as they held each other. He did understand cause for him it was his scars, he had been terrified of having them touched, sometimes just the thought would make him spiral. He had understood how this worked. “Do you want me to stop” He asked. “We can stop at any moment”

“No, don’t” Lynn urged. “I want you closer, I need you closer” He admitted, this time he was the one blushing

Astarion gently grasped at Lynn's hips again, as he pulled him in a slow and tender kiss, gasping for air whenever they had the chance. Their hands could barely keep in one spot as Astarion's kiss would be dragged back in from Lynn's yearning ones. Astarion gently pushed Lynn down on his back, straddling and towering over the other as he navigated his hands under the changeling's shirt, while his erection was impossible to hide.

Astarion wanted to try, he had missed the way Lynn had wrapped around him, the way Lynn would arch his back, or the way his mouth repeated his name like a plea. He has missed how Lynn- big and buff as he was- would beg and melt under Astarion.

Lynn sighed softly as he allowed Astarion to guide him, wrapping his legs around his hips. "Lynn..' Astarion murmured as they were both breathless and aching.

Gently cupping his cheek and tracing his jaw with his lips.. "divine" He rasped before leaving an open mouthed kiss on his neck .

"I-" Lynn gasped, warmth spreading in his stomach and a yearning feeling pooling in his chest. He needed Astarion closer, his hands on his body, his flesh burning with his heat. Astarion knew from the way Lynn desperately clung to him, pleaded for his lips and how he gasped whenever Astarion would remove another layer of Lynn's clothes. "Please.." Lynn said hoarsely, trembling under him, their naked skin fiery as they kissed.

“Are you sure?” Astarion asked as he kissed his forehead tenderly. “We don't have to do anything if you don't want to” Astarion reassured him. It was ironic how he was the one asking, though appreciated.

“Do you want to do this?” Lynn asked back, tangling his hand with Astarion's.

“My love, can you feel this?” Astarion purred as his hips pressed against Lynn’s tight ring, his hard cock stealing a lewd moan from Lynn's lips. “It says it all” He leaned forward, tracing Lynn's neck with kisses, bites and licks, worshipping his flesh agonizingly slow as Lynn's arms wrapped around Astarion.

The elf reached for the grease bottle that was in his pack, and poured abundantly the liquid on his palm.

“I want you to tell me if I need to stop” Astarion whispered as he quickly stroked himself, coating his length in the substance while he looked for Lynn's eyes.

“I promise” Lynn offered him a small, shy smile as Astarion's clean hand linked with Lynn's, both for support and as a reminder that they could hold on to each other. They had practiced a lot, small things to keep each other in the loop, like holding hands, looking for each other's eyes, like pressing their foreheads together to stay closer.

Astarion lowered again, catching his lips tenderly as he lifted Lynn's legs to help him angle, while the changeling's cheeks flushed deeply.

"I love you" Lynn murmured against Astarion's lips as he closed his eyes while Astarion pressed his forehead against Lynn’s. He slowly pushed himself past his rim with a gasp as Lynn fisted the blanket both in pain and ecstasy. “I love you” Astarion whimpered as all his senses awoke.

Lynn was tigh, clenching around him like madness as his cock was already leaking desperately on his stomach.

"So good for me" Astarion cooed instantly having Lynn blushing and moaning under him. "And so breathtaking" He rasped before he leaned to catch his lips in a kiss again and again. Astarion could feel his body cursing with goosebumps, as he took a moment to focus, squeezing Lynn's hand softly. Lynn shied under Astarion's eyes, his cheeks flushing even more and more as Astarion started moving.

Astarion swore he saw the cosmos as he sunk in the warmth, as Lynn became one with him. The changeling's gasps reminded him he was free, that he was not with one of his victims, but rather with him that had done so much for him.

He had fallen for Lynn, and so much had changed. Firstly he had admitted his- awfully played- plan, and Lynn had forgiven him. Lynn had held his hand while walking down the halls of Cazador's palace and bathed him after they were back at the elfsong tavern and Astarion could barely function. Lynn that held him as he wept endlessly after a nightmare. Lynn had defended him from Araj, Lynn had kissed his scars.

He poured it all with his strokes, making sure they held in them the feelings that he held in his heart. And Lynn wasn't doing any less. Lynn, the man he loved so purely and deeply, was taking him and and loving him with every inch of him. They were not just fucking, they were devoting each other despite their struggles.

“Astarion, you f-feel so good” He cried out as Astarion held him in position, stretching him deliciously.

Lynn was not vocal, his whimpers though echoed in Astarion's brain endlessly as he swallowed him inch by inch.

"My Lynn" Astarion moaned as he reached forward and caressed his cheek. "My lovely lovely Lynn" He panted desperately as he made Lynn melt under his thrusts.

Lynn threw his head back as he arched under Astarion's graze, his body cursing with something new, something sweet he couldn't help but chase as Astarion lost himself in him.

"Look at me" Astarion whispered breathlessly as the slow burning passion was eating them alive. Curses, moans, the sweet sweet sound of their hips meeting and their love overtaking them.

Lynn was his and he was Lynn's, devoting their hands, lips, eyes to worshipping the other. They could read it on each other's face, on the way their eyes glistened, or their lips parted and met, or the way their muscles tensed and everything stopped for a moment. It was just them, framed in time: Astarion cradling Lynn to his chest as he stretched him and loved him, while Lynn was gasping, so full, so soft, whispering Astarion's name like a plea. They were one as they twitched, begged, cried for the other, gushed and slowly, tenderly kissed. They didn't realized tears were streaming down their faces until they came back to their senses, though still breathless, their orgasms spilled on Lynn's chest and leaking from his tight hole. Yet all they cared about was drying those tears with the palms of their hands.

“My love, you alright?” Astarion asked worried , while uncaring for his own tears as he reached for Lynn’s cheek.

“Never been better, you?” He replied weakly as he sat up just enough to tug Astarion in his lap and dry his tears softly.

“Darling I'm home” He whispered as he leaned against Lynn's naked chest.

They laid in each other's embrace, spent, still whispering the other's name as they eased down and tangled back together. The tears that were falling held in years of pain, of wounds and blood, they were the tears of two men that had lost hope, yet found respite and home in the other's care. They were the tears of relief, of love, of belonging as Astarion was resting on Lynn's chest trembling and panting.

"I love you"s under their breath were whispered as they kissed away the tears, as they cleaned each other carefully, as they held on to each other, with just a blanket draped on their bodies, as they kissed, as they caressed. "I love you"'s sworn under the protection of the moon, only for the other to hear.

Lynn pulled Astarion against his chest again once they were tucked in the bedroll, along with the thicker blanket which ended up shielding them from the cold. Lynn kissed Astarion's temple as his arms held him close and he gently ran his fingers down his skin. Astarion sighed peacefully as he curled into the embrace, making himself smaller as if hiding

“Are you okay, little love?” Lynn kissed his cheek.

“I wish we could stay like this forever” Astarion sighed, gently resting his palm on Lynn's heart. “Not a worry in sight”

“I promise you” Lynn placed one hand atop Astarion's hand on his chest. “I'll make sure that this will be our future” He murmured.

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