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slavicdelight · 5 months

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EPHEMERAL

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen × Targ!Royce!f!reader

Summary: Your father, Prince Daemon Targaryen never ackowledged you. Your mother, Lady Rhea Royce passed away when you were little, which leaves you to be raised by your uncle - King Viserys Targaryen, and his wife - Queen Alicent Hightower. As you grow up in the Red Keep, you grew close to the kings second son - Prince Aemond Targaryen.

Warnings: cursing, violence, canon divergence

A/N: part two is here HIRAETH

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Being the daughter of the infamous Rouge Prince was not easy, especially when your mother was a woman he despised up until her death or after that. You were not even supposed to exist, as your parents held such resentment towards each other, that their union was not consummated for a very long time, before one fateful night, when Prince Daemon was exiled from King’s Landing yet again by his brother, King Viserys. Your maid mentioned to you that your father was extremely enraged and got drunk inside the walls of Runestone. Your lady mother was also having an exceptionally bad day, and so she joined her husband in consuming a ridiculous amount of wine. One thing led to another, therefore you were conceived, and the Targaryen man fled the very next day.

You were born the same year as the eldest son of King Viserys and Queen Alicent, growing up in the Vale with only your mother there, as your father, upon hearing the news of your birth did not even acknowledge you as his child and flew away to fight in the Stepstones. He could call you a bastard of his “Bronze Bitch” all he wanted, but even though you had brown hair, no one could deny the fact that you have the blood of the dragons flowing through your veins, for your eyes were the gorgeous shade of violet. Runestone was your home. You loved running in its halls, playing with various servants and guards, but your most favourite part was learning everything you could from your mother. Sadly your childhood joy did not last long. When you were two name days old Lady Rhea passed away in what was called a hunting accident. People of the Vale did not believe that story and were spreading rumours that it was her husband, who murdered her in cold blood.

Queen Alicent, after learning about your misfortune, convinced her husband to bring you to the Red Keep to be raised among your cousins. She mentioned a well-known saying going around the Targaryen family: “A dragon alone in the world is a terrible thing”. And so, as a result, you were brought to Kings Landing and raised along with the queen’s and Princess Rhaenyra’s children. You got on with Helaena and Aemond pretty well. The princess was your closest friend, you spent most of the time together, because you were the only two girls among the royal family residing in the castle. You did not mind her riddles nor her fondness for small creatures, quite the opposite, you found it fascinating how smart Helaena is. Aemond was a slightly different story. You remember being drawn to him, something inside you did not let you pull away from the prince. For him you were his light in life, the only person he did not mind the company of. You both were polar opposites. You being very kind, talkative and a ray of sunshine, him being closed off and quiet. You disliked Aegon, even though you were the closest in age, because of his vile language and inappropriate behavior. He was also a bully and liked to tease you and Aemond for not having dragons, dragging the sons of Princess Rhaenyra into it as well. When it comes to Jace and Luke, you found them pleasant to be around when they’re not doing Aegon’s bidding. Your life in the Red Keep was going well and you thrived in this environment, but what you did not know, is that it would all soon come to an end.

time skip to the funeral of Laena Velaryon

After Prince Daemon won the war in the Stepstones, he came back to his brothers’ side once again, but it did not last long, as he left following the wedding of Rhaenyra and Ser Laenor. During his presence in the castle, he was set on ignoring your existence, and you only saw him once, when he strolled through the gardens, where you were sitting with Helaena. He wed the lady Laena Velaryon soon after and left for Pentos abandoning you again. Now, you are all standing on Driftmark, attending the said lady’s funeral. Once again your father has paid you no attention and you decided not to let it bother you. After the coffin was laid down into the sea everyone started conversing amongst each other. You decided to stay close to Aemond, due to not feeling confident and you knew that he was the only person who could bring you comfort. As you headed to where the green siblings stood, you heard Aegon talking.

“We have nothing in common.” he said, clearly talking about Helaena, who sat on the ground playing with a spider. As you walked closer you heard her muttering one of her riddles. “She’s our sister.” defended her Aemond, right when you appeared next to him and took his hand, sending a small smile his way, which he returned. “You marry her then”. Lately, it has been revealed that the two eldest children of Queen Alicent are betrothed. You pitied your friend, Aegon was probably the most horrid person you have ever encountered.

“I would perform my duty, if only mother had only betrothed us. But I am to marry someone else.” with that he looked at you. “I am happy to be marrying you, as you are the best possible choice.” you said to him, squeezing his hand tighter. The small council also decided on a marriage between you and the King’s second son.

“She’s an idiot.” said Aegon and your blood boiled. “At least she’s not a complete moron and a drunk.” you bit back and Aemond had to fight back a grin. “Oh you little witch.” said the boy and tried to advance towards you unsuccessfully.

“She’s your future Queen” said the younger brother. It was a known fact that the Queen and the Hand wish to put him on the throne instead of Princess Rhaenyra. War was inevitable. “We do have something in common.” said Aegon, when a maid came over with a tray of wine. “We both fancy creatures with very long legs.” and with that he strolled away in search for more alcohol.

That left you alone with Aemond. Suddenly the pair of you heard unmistakably a roar of the dragon in the distance. Vhagar, the she-dragon of Queen Visenya, that recently became riderless. You look at your companion and noticed the longing look in his eyes. “Aemond. What are you thinking?” you said to get his attention. He turned to you for a second before continuing to stare in the direction of the sound. “She’s hurting, mourning the loss of lady Laena. I always wanted to see her, after all, she is the last living symbol of the conquest. “ you kept going. “Hmm. Maybe we should go and see her then.” you looked at him as he said that. “Tonight, after everyone’s asleep so that no one stops us.”You were used to sneaking out, as you both often did so to spend time together in the keep’s library late at night, to read all the books you could find. After small moment of consideration, you nodded to let him know that you agree to the plan. Up untill the night, you spend time with each other exploring the Drftmark castle.

Soon enough it started to grow dark. You and your best friend stood next to the flight of stairs leading to the beach, looking at drunk Aegon. Just as you were planning to sneak off, the boys’ grandfather, Otto Hightower, came into view, grabbing the eldest prince to drag him to his bed. Aemond looked at you as they left and motioned to follow him, which you did without any worries. Both of you walked towards the place Vhagar nested in, and once the mighty dragon became visible, you were amazed. She was so big, that she did not need to open her mouth much to swallow the two of you. “Fuck” muttered Aemond. “She’s amazing, isn’t she?” you whispered and couldn’t tear your gaze away. And with you saying that the white-haired boy proceeded to move closer towards her. Your brows furrowed at the act and you asked “My prince? What are you doing?”

Aemond turned to face you and said “She is unclaimed and she’s suffering. I can’t let it go on.”. You then understood what he meant and the idea of your betrothed going straight into the jaws of the biggest dragon alive made you uneasy. “Aemond. This is a bad idea! She could burn you! Or eat you!” you argued. “It is my right, both of our right, to claim a dragon.” you knew that, but there were so many dragons without riders. Surely you could make a trip to Dragonstone and try your luck with others, nonetheless, you knew that once Aemond set his mind on something, there is no changing it.

“Just please, be careful.” you muttered into his ear as you hugged the boy. Unwanted tears gathered in your eyes, as you saw him approach the animal. You were pretty far away and too lost in your own mind to hear him say anything. When Vhagar opened her mouth to breathe fire, you almost fainted from worry, but you believed that he could do it. And he did it, the dragon accepted him as his rider, letting him climb atop her for their first flight. You were so proud of the prince and you beamed into the sky screaming “Yes Aemond! You did it!” and laughing. Once the flight was done and he climbed down, he called you to his side. You came over slowly, wary of the dragon, as you knew, they don’t like the presence of people, who aren’t their riders.

“I did it! Did you see? I was flying!” Aemond became a ball of energy at this moment and you couldn’t help but grin. “You did it. You’re finally a dragon rider.” and with that, you hugged him. “I’m so proud of you.”. He gave you a beautiful smile, but it slightly fell, once you said “But scare me like that ever again and I will kill you.”. Taking his hand, you both started walking back towards the castle and Aemond told you all about the experience, and how freeing, yet terrifying it felt. Neither of you expected to encounter a problem once you walked inside.

“It’s them.” said one of your half-sisters. In the entrance stood the daughters of the late Lady Laena, along with Jace and Luke. “It’s us.” confirmed Aemond when you both emerged from the darkness. “Vhagar is my mother’s dragon. She was mine to claim.” exclaimed Rhaena and you could clearly see rage overcoming her. “Dragons aren’t possessions to be passed down, dear sister.” you told her and everyones eyes turned to you. “Aemond had the right to claim her and she chose him. It is done.” you defended your prince and he gave you a small smile before saying “Perhaps your cousins would find you a pig to ride. It would suit you.” Not that long ago Aegon, Jace, and Luke pulled a prank on Aemond, dressing up a pig in wings, calling it Pink Dread. With that Rhaena tried to hit him, but he dodged the attempt and pushed her away, making Baela strike him on the nose. With that, all hell broke loose and you knew that it will not end well. You tried to stop them “No! Leave him alone! He didn’t do anything wrong!”, but someone pushed you away and you banged your head against the torch on a wall. You could feel the bleeding and the ache, but you ignored it to observe what was happening in front of you.

Aemond was holding Luke by the neck, while in his other hand he gripped a rock. “You will die screaming as you father did. Bastards.” he said and you were shocked, not because you didn’t believe it, but rather because he said it out loud. Everyone knew Princess Rhaenyra was having an affair with Ser Harwin Strong. How else would anyone explain the certain resemblance he has to the “Velaryon” boys? They do not look anything like their supposed father Ser Laenor. The King Viserys was conveniently blind to it, but everyone knew that he just prefered to conceal the truth to protect his “only child”. “My father’s still alive.” said Luke and you watched a smirk appear on the white-haired prince’s face. “He doesn’t know, does he? Lord Strong.” he continued and you had to intervene. “Aemond stop. That’s enough. Let’s finish this madness.” you tried to convince him to let the younger prince go. He looked at you and that’s when Luke broke free and both he and Jace attacked Aemond. Before you could comprehend what was happening you saw a flash of knife and blood chilling scream of your betrothed.

You ran towards him and saw him clutching his eye tightly. The bastard took his eye. “Aemond!” you screamed. “Guards! What are you waiting for?! Get help!” you yelled at your sisters and cousins, while trying to soothe Aemond. Soon enough guards poured in and one of them pulled you away from your best friend, much to your protest. “My prince. Let me see.” The guard turned Aemond around and saw the wound. “Gods be good” Gods be good indeed. You were all taken to the hall and the adults were called. By that time you felt very faint from the blood loss and passed out. You didn’t hear the exchange between Queen Alicent and Princess Rhaenyra as you did not wake in time, but you know, as did everyone in the realm, what transpired there.

You woke up two days later, and you took time to recover. It did not stop you from visiting Aemond in his chambers or going to the gardens and spending time with Helaena. One day as you were walking to your rooms, you overheard a conversation between Queen Alicent and Lord Larys Strong. They were discussing the issue of your father marrying Princess Rhaenyra and the scandal it caused. Both believed they had a hand in Ser Laenor’s murder, but what was said in this conversation rang in your head for days. “I would not put it passed Prince Daemon to murder the princess’s husband. After all, nothing stopped him from killing his first wife.” Your mother’s death wasn’t an accident, because it was Daemon who murdered her to finally be free of marriage duty. Since that day you hated your father even more and you promised yourself, that you would avenge your beloved mother.

time skip six years later

You and Aemond have been married for a year now and you recently welcomed a child into the world, a beautiful girl named Alysanne after the Good Queen, who looked like exact copy of the prince. Your husband a wonderful father and lover. Since the day your daughter was born he has been spending all of his free time tending to you both. Even though the Driftmark accident caused the prince to be colder and more intimidating, he was very caring and soft towards you, your daughter, his mother and his sister. Only the women of his family were privileged to see this side of him. After your wedding you relocated to Runestone and you took over your responsibilities as a Lady of the house. Aemond unsurprisingly thrived in the Vale as the Lord of Runestone, as he was dutiful, smart and formidable. You were content there, but you visited the Red Keep as often as you could on your dragons. Yes, you heard correctly. Dragons. About two years after the loss of Aemonds eye, you stumbled upon a dragon of your own. It was one of the wild ones, that terrified anyone who heard his name. You claimed the notorious Canniball. During the last visit to King’s Landing, Helaena gifted you both a dragonn egg from Dreamfire’s latest clutch to put into Alysanne’s cradle.

Just last night the three of you arrived at court for the Driftmark petitions, that are being held in approximately three days. Corlys Velaryon suffered a terrible injury during his voyage and no one could be sure if he will recover. This plundged the succession into question. Lord Vaemond Velaryon publicly questioned Lucerys Velaryon’s right to become the next Lord of the Tides. King Viserys has been bedridden for a long time now, and the realm was placed into the hands of Hightowers, who ruled in his stead. Princess Rhaenyra was informed of the petition and was to come to the Red Keep to defend her son, and along with her will come the whole black fraction of Targaryen family. You weren’t keen on seeing any of them again, especially Prince Daemon, as you held strong resentment towrads the man.

On the day of their arrival you and your daughter were on the country yard watching Aemond train with Ser Criston Cole. Soon you saw the two eldest sons of heir to the iron throne and smirked at their terrified expressions, while they realised what formidable fighter your husband was. With a few more strikes of the blade Aemond defeated Cole. “Congratulations my Prince, you’ll be winning tourneys in no time.” said the knight. “I don’t give a shit about tourneys.” you beloved answered and directed his eyes towards the boys. “Nephews. Have you come to train?”. In that moment the gate opened and in walked Vaemond Velaryon, advancing towards the keep, he casted the nastiest look he could muster towards his “nephews”.

After that Jace and Luke scurried away inside, probably in search of their mother or Daemon for protection and Aemond walked up to you and took your daughter into his arms, while she blabbed excitetly at her father. “It seems, my love, that you scare them off.” you said, smilig at him. “Hmmm. Good. It is best they learn their place. I am not so easily defeated now.” and with that he placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you in direction of your chambers. When you walked inside, Aemond placed your daughter in her cradle, while you sat next to the fireplace. “I wish for you to behave today. I know that their presence irritates you, but it is not for long and we don’t need any fights today. Gods know my father is only waiting for a reason to kill us all, so it will be best not to give him one.” Aemond only hummed at that and went to stand behind you to massage you neck. “You’re tense.” he stated the obvious. “Of course I am. It is stressfull enough to be in one keep with him. Seriously Aemond, do not do anything to cause a fight today, I beg you.” you truned to look him straight into the eye. “For you, my darling wife, I will be civil, but don’t expect me to be nice.” he answered. You nodded in confirmation. That was all you needed.

Finally it was time for the petitions to be held. You stood between Aemond and Heleana, looking straight into the eyes of Prince Daemon Targaryen and he held your gaze, as if it was a staring contest. Lord Hand stood before the Iron Throne and declared the petitions to be open. First one to make his was Ser Vaemond. His statement was going all about the Velaryon blood, and how his supposed nephews did not have a drop of it in themselves. Princess Rhaenyra tried to intervene, only to be stopped by you mother-in-law. At the end of his petiton he put himself forward as the successor of his brother. It was now the turn of your stepmother to defend her son’s right. She walked gracefully towards the throne and started to say “If I have to grace this farce, I must remind you, that yearly twenty years ago in this very room..”

She was interrupted by the doors swinging open as the knight announced “King Viserys Targaryen, First of His Name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.”. Everyone couldn’t hide their surprise, after all, the king hasn’t been seen in a long time, too sick to even get up from his bed. And yet here he was, walking to the throne with a golden mask covering half of his face, leaning on the support of a cane. “Father has once again come to defend his only child.” sneered Aegon. You couldn’t help the scoff that escaped your lips, it was true, he never shown any care to anyone other than his eldest daughter, and for that you hated the man almost as much as you did your father. In your eyes he was a weak king and even a weaker man. Disgraceful.

In that moment everyone knew that Driftmark will be going to Lucerys, no matter how wrong it was and how many people protested against it. Luke was a sweet boy, but he had no right to the Driftwood Throne. “I don’t understand why are we discussing a settled succesion.” the king said after finally settling on the throne. “The only one, who could offer keeper insight into Lord Corlys’ wishes is the Princess Rhaenys.”. The said princess took a step closer before answering her cousin. “Indeed Your Grace. It was in Lord Corlys’ wishes for Driftmark to be passed to his grandson, Lucerys Velaryon. His mind never changed, nor my support of him. Princess Rhaenyra offered to betroth her children, Jace and Luke to Baela and Rhaena. A proposal to which I heartily agree.” You all knew that is was pointless to argue now. Viserys affirmed Lucerys as the future Lord of the Tides, but it wasn’t acceptable to Ser Vaemond as he openly declared the sons of the heir as bastards. “I will have you tongue for that” rasped the king, but it wasn’t necessary. Prince Daemon Targaryen unnoticed by everyone sneaked behind Vaemond, Dark Sister in his hand, and cut off his head in one strike. Everyone in the hall got startled at that and the petitions were over. The King had to be carried out of the hall as he suddenly fell down.

“Did you see them? Flaunting their privilege without a care in the world. It is horrible how they think they can get away with everything.” you spoke on the way back to your chambers with Aemond trailing behind you. “Darling. Do not worry, it will not last long anyway.” your husband tried to coax you to calm down. After walking into the room, you headed straight to the cradle where Alysanne laid awake, playing with a dragon plushie you made for her during your tea with Helaena. The prince dismissed the maid who was watching your daughter and walked over to you two. “I’m scared Aemond. You saw what he did there. He has no restrain, I fear what he would do to us, to her.” you said and looked at the babe. “He will do nothing, for he would be called a kinslayer. And I shall protect you both with my life. Nothing will happen, I promise you.” That made you hug him and bury your face in his chest. Everything has to be alright.

The night came, and with it the dreaded family dinner, which was demanded by Viserys in honor of his family being all in the same place for the first time in six years. You were talking with Helaena about setting up another playdate for your kids, while your husbands stood to the side talking Gods know about what. Eventually, everyone took their seats. You and your husband were at the end of it, exactly in front of Lucerys and Rhaena. You all stood up when the King was carried in and so let the game of pretending begin. “It is good to see you all, together” Viserys started and Alicent proposed to say prayers. The King stood up for a speech. “My own face is no longer a handsome one, if indeed it ever was” he revealed his full face, which was missing an eye. He looked more like a skeleton than a human. “But tonight, I wish you to see me as I am. Not just a king, but your father.” he looked towards Rhaenyra, Aegon, Helaena and Aemond. “your husband” he said to Alicent. “and your grandsire who may not, it seems, walk for much longer among you.” Everyone’s faces displayed something else, but what they all had in common, was pain of seeing him suffer. “Let us no longer hold ill feelings in our hearts. The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided. Set aside your grievances. If not for the sake of the crown, then for the sake of this old man who loves you all so dearly.”. After his speech, Princess Rhaenyra and Queen Alicent made toasts to each other and the atmosphere became lighter. Everyone were enjoying themselves, the room was full of music, laughter, dancing, and pleasant conversations. It was all going smoothly until the pig was brought to the table and set directly in front of your husband. By that time Viserys was carried out as he felt worse. That made Lucerys chuckle, as he was reminded of Pink Dread, and send a smirk Aemonds way. This was his mistake, as the older prince suddenly slammed his hand onto the table, grabbed his cup and made the final toast of the night.

“Final tribute.” with saying that he had everyone’s attention and Aegon raised his cup in support of his brother. “To the health of my nephews: Jace…Luke…and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise…” every person in the room held their breath as their waited for inevidable. “Strong.” “Aemond” you and Alicent said at the same time, but he did not listen and he was not about to stop. “Come…Let us drain our cups to these three Strong boys.” that made Jace mad and he went to retaliate. “I dare you to say that again” the bronze haired boy said and everyone stood up from their seats in case a fight erupted. “Why? ‘Twas only a compliment” continued your husband. “Enough of that” you said at the same time Aemond aksed “Do you not thing yourself Strong?”. Jace came over and hit the elder prince straight on the jaw, but it did nothing for Aemond only laughed and shoved the Velaryon onto the floor.“Jace!” screamed Rhaenyra. Lucerys tried to join the fight to help his brother, only to be stopped by Aegon, who slammed him on the table. “That’s enough” said Alicent. You were mad and decided to storm out of the room.

Not much later you husband stepped into the comfort of your chambers where he found you staring outside the window. He walked closer but you immediately took a step back and hissed at him “I asked you not to do anything today. But as always you had to let your pride ruin everything. Now you put a target on our backs. Daemon won’t let this go.”. “My love…” he started only to be cut off by you. “No! I do not want to hear your pitiful excuses.” Aemond scowled at you and you could see him getting angry. “That bastard dared to laugh at me. AT ME! Because of that fucking pig! I was only defending myself!” you only scoffed at that and walked towards the fireplace, further away from him. “If you had any decency you would have ignored it. But you didn’t! Instead you behaved like some peasant and started throwing insults and then began a fight”. “Jaecerys hit me first! He began the fight!” your husband defended himself but his look softened as he saw how worried you were. He kneeled before you and took your hand in his placing a kiss atop of it. “I’m sorry darling. I should’ve composed myself and ignore him. You are right. Please forgive me”. You looked at him and pulled the eyepatch off his face. “I just worry. I don’t want anything bad to happen. We should probably head back to Runestone. I think we overstayed this visit.” Aemond agreed and you decided to set back to the Vale in a couple of days.

But what you didn’t know, is that you wouldn’t be able to return to your keep, as for when you were sleeping, King Viserys drew his last breath and told his lady wife the dream of song of ice and fire, which was interpreted to put Aegon on the throne. War was on the horizont and no one was safe. Your and your family’s happiness and peace is about to become EPHEMERAL.

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A/N: My obsession with Aemond Targaryen and Ewna Mitchell reached to the point where i decided to give it a try and write something. Anyways, English is not my 1st language, so there may be some mistakes in writing. If you would like a part II of this story, please let me know in the comments. It would mean the world to me if you decided to leave a heat here ♡

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melrosing · 11 months

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how do you see an AU where Joanna survives and her relationships with her children?

been thinking about this ask whilst eating spaghetti

I think it's a mess with all three. first of all, supposing Joanna survives Tyrion's birth, she also survives to seal the deal with the Princess of Dorne in sending one of the twins off to Sunspear to be betrothed.

and whilst I kind of like 'jam growing up in Dorne' aus, I do think it would most likely be Cersei who gets shipped off. that's namely because in taking Cersei, the PoD reserves Elia for marriage to Rhaegar (I'm sure she was biding her time for that), and in the same fell swoop removes Cersei as her competition (Cers would probably have ranked quite highly before Tywin and Aerys' falling out).

obvs Joanna would be conscious of that calculation on the PoD's part, but 1) she may not necessarily have had the same ambitions for Cersei as Tywin did, and 2) at this particular point Joanna probably needs the betrothal of one of her children to a Martell more than PoD does; she wants the twins separated, but they're still very young at this stage so she would want them in safe hands - and she was once close to the PoD, possibly saw her as an elder sister/mentor figure of her own. so a Martell betrothal is the safest way she can do this, and Cersei would be the one the PoD would offer to take I reckon

so Cersei is forced out of her home at a young age, and I think that could be pretty interesting in terms of Tywin and Joanna's marriage for one thing. like, I assume Tywin would resent two women going behind his back to betrothe his daughter when he expressly had plans to give her to Rhaegar. is he able to put a stop to it?? I think Joanna would insist on it, but that would cause a bit of a rift because Joanna isn't explaining WHY and maybe it's the first time he feels she's crossed a line in her role as his wife.

I ALSO think that if Joanna were to survive Tyrion's birth, some part of Tywin would blame his son's disability on Joanna. in killing Jo, Tyrion martyrs her, but if she survived then it's like she's somehow responsible in Tywin's fucked up mind. bc I don't think he could fathom having had anything to do with his son's conception himself if the son wasn't what he'd wanted. so generally yes I see their relationship being worse and probably more distant with fewer visits from KL.

ANYWAY I digress but thinking about where this situ leaves Joanna and her relationship w her kids!!

JAIME starting with Jaime cos I think this would, relatively speaking, be the most straightforward. I think of the Lannister siblings, all the key Lannisters generally find Jaime the easiest to love and I don't think Joanna would be an exception. I think she's absolutely the kind of mother who would love her sons better, because as a woman she doesn't take such a complicated and visceral view of them as she does her daughter.

HOWEVER she would of course recall what happened between Jaime and Cersei. and I think she would low-key blame Cersei. I think Cersei, whilst charming in her own way, was no doubt a kid who could be angry and sour and difficult to handle, whilst Jaime sounds comparably quite affable and easygoing. so the first fucked up thing Cersei and Joanna's relationship is that Jo decides Cersei is the one who came up with the 'game' so that she can mentally forgive Jaime, because it's easier than reckoning with her son being less than perfect.

and I think the result with Jaime is that he resents Joanna deeply for sending Cersei away, and he dislikes that she keeps trying to acquit him of what they were both doing, and consequently distances himself from her. I imagine them as close before that, so this hits Joanna hard and she turns that resentment on Cers, again making their relationship worse.

possibly the relationship between them heals a little as Jaime grows matures and maybe realises how upset Joanna must have been at the time, but I think he is always angry for what she did to Cersei and doesn't forgive her that.

CERSEI I imagine Cersei stays in Dorne till she's maybe 12-13, and then maybe is made lady in waiting to Elia in King's Landing. and I think she spends the whole time hating Joanna. like I kind of doubt that Oberyn and Cersei would like each other much, and Cersei would always remember she was supposed to be Rhaegar's Queen, and Dorne sucks etc and where's Jaime, and also just like imagine how traumatic to be seven and sent away to some strange place for doing something you didn't even really understand was wrong. of course she'd hate Joanna

I think she only comes home to the Rock intermittently from Dorne, and Joanna is subtly antagonistic to her every time in case Cersei 'corrupts' her son again + Cersei is probably antagonistic in return because Joanna is the one who ruined everything, so it's all fucked. Joanna probably still tries to temper her daughter into the lady she thinks she should be, and Cersei is just not having it. it's awful

TYRION I feel like there's two Schools of Thought (lmao) on how Joanna and Tyrion's relationship would be: one where Joanna dislikes her son but is just more tactful about it than Tywin, and one where they're actually close and Joanna fancies him a bit of a mini-me.

I think it could be BOTH. I think Joanna, who no doubt cares a great deal about her public image and is still v much a Lannister who somehow had it in her to love a man like Tywin (to whatever degree she did), would be disturbed at having birthed a disabled child and would never quite shake that. it would haunt her forever.

BUT Tyrion is smart and funny and desperately wants to love her and be loved by her, and I think she would respond to that with a love of her own. I think she'd try to raise him up beyond what everyone else thought of him, and there'd be a lot of whispering in one another's ears. but she can't raise him up beyond what she, deep down, thinks of him, and that's a bitter truth in their relationship all Tyrion's life. I think she punishes him more harshly than she would Jaime, and is less willing to tolerate any shortcoming in Tyrion - he has to be better in every sense he can be. so there are darker periods in their relationship with Joanna is crueler to Tyrion, and it utterly fucks with his head because he knows how warm she can be when she chooses to be and he doesn't know how to win her love back, it's just like one day she warms again and things are nice once more but he always fears her turning cold again

and I think a big part of this is Tywin blaming Joanna for Tyrion - I think she'd find that hideously unfair, but perhaps also believe it a little.

ANYWAY long post and this is a huge amount of conjecture but long story short I think Joanna is fucked too

#ask #asoiaf #joanna lannister #cersei lannister #jaime lannister #tyrion lannister #long post

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life-and-death-companions · 2 years

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some (possibly) unpopular opinions pt. 2

It turns out my rant about manhwas that did not appeal to me were actually pretty fun to read, and since I am nothing but a jester for entertainment I have decided to make another one of these. I feel like I'll get flamed for some of my choices though 💀 doesn't matter, all in good fun 👍

Under the Oak Tree

The Beginning After the End

Solo Levelling

Beatrice

I Have Become the Heroes' Rival

How To Hide the Emperor's Child

Why Are You Doing This, Duke?

Beware of the Brothers!

Under the Oak Tree

Let me just preface this by saying that my complaint is not about Maxi's timid, soft-spoken nature. I understand that her fear to defend herself and her inability to communicate her needs properly is a result of years of cruel abuse, oppression and control. In that regard, she is very similar to Soru from Twilight Poem (Heeran Love Song), and I love them both. They both have a quiet strength evident by their capacity for kindness in the face of constant barbaric mistreatment - not to mention their resilience. Few people would go through what they did and still strive to heal or accept genuine human connection.

However, I am far less empathetic towards Riftan. With how often he gets it on with her, he's been classically conditioned to associated Maxi with arousal and sexual pleasure. Too many times has he initiated this type of thing when Maxi was only trying to express herself and communicate, which made for a frustrating narrative - and if I'm honest, after some time it felt like he was using Maxi as a sex toy, which enraged me like nothing else.

Most people liked the smut, some thought it was a bit overkill. I, for one, am proudly ace and so it did nothing to appeal me to the story when it was obvious their sex life was 99% due to lust alone, rather than any sort of connection. I kick my feet and screech just like any other person when I read about two people loving each other so much and finding refuge through touch and physical intimacy - but this was shallow sex. It got to the point where when Riftan would made advances I would start laughing because it was just that predictable and boring.

(Also! Their first wedding night! Stank! Of! Sexual coercion! It made me so enraged and it was so confronting that I honestly skimmed through the dialogue and skipped the scene altogether. "You're my wife so we must fulfil our marital duties" PLEASE I WANTED TO BARF. Nobody come at me about historical accuracy and context when this story has fucking wizards and shit.)

Also, I'm a bit of a man hater (we all have flaws 💀) so reading about a man who by all means solely holds the power in a relationship makes me dislike the story on principle. Maxi has been under the thumb of men from the moment she was born, so her marriage to Riftan felt to me like a simple switch from one type of oppression to another. I'll admit I was projecting a bit because I was seeing the many women in my life who've suffered because of the patriarchy through Maxi and resenting Riftan as a result. However, I still don't think my assessment is that flawed.

TL;DR: I hate presumptuous, inconsiderate men, and unfortunately Riftan fell into that category, but Maxi, sweetie - I love you with all my heart.

The Beginning After the End

Manhwa that is obviously intended for a male demographic are honestly a bit of a hit or miss most of the time. I loved The Return of the Mount Hua Sect, and the main character from The Return of the Crazy Demon has my whole heart.

The reason why I dislike a vast majority of them is that they obviously cater to the idea that an ideal man should be cold, uncaring, callous, invulnerable and entirely masculine-presenting. The comment sections of male-targeted manhwa like Solo Levelling and the Beginning After the End are full of boys that look at all these MCs acting superior with their hands in their pockets and their arrogant smirk and think they're the 'goat'. Female characters are treated as incapable of rising to the same level of strength as the male main character, and indeed when they're confident in their skills the boys in the comment sections have nothing but derogatory comments to make about them.

In the comment sections of the Reaper of the Drifting Moon, not only is the MC under fire after their transformation to a leaner, more snake-like, curvy frame that appears more feminine, but the women he encounters are insulted in every way. Case in point:

I wish this was the worst among them, but it's not. I bet many other people can attest to the fact that comment sections like these are drowning in misogyny.

Arthur is in many ways that toxic masculinity personified. Always superior, always overpowered, always better, always smarter. Also, he's a thirty-eight year old weirdo that goes around having under-aged girls as love interests. If that isn't deeply disconcerting I don't know what else to say.

Solo Levelling

I'm so gonna get hate for this.

I also don't care.

Anyway, my issues here are three:

Jin-Woo panders to that ideation of an OP 'Goat' protagonist that I really don't fuck with personally.

The romance sucked. There was no real connection between him and Cha Hae-In. We had like one episode of them going to the amusement park. The whole "he-doesn't-smell!" premise was an obvious (and weird) attempt to force a romance subplot and give Jin-Woo a female love interest, perpetuating that image of him as desirable and flawless. She was, in a word, a prop.

The ending sucked also. It was one step away from the Protagonist Loses Their Powers And Settles Into A Life of Domesticity trope and I hated it. It was so unfulfilling.

The reason why I stuck around and read it in full was simply that it's fun. It's fun, sometimes, to read self-indulgent trash about OP main characters that solo every challenge. It just doesn't exactly make for a very memorable story or a likable protagonist, which is why I don't really care much for it.

TL;DR: The kind of brainless story you read when you can't be bothered putting yourself through the emotional and cognitive effort of connecting with complex characters and loaded stories.

Beatrice

I dropped this so fast I don't remember much about it, but I can say three things:

The fact that she was a slave and was basically rescued from hard labour because she was charming and cute was very much not it 💀 Why do all these girls that used to be slaves conveniently forget about slavery and its ramifications on others when their status is elevated and they posses the influence to do something about it?

LMFAO WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO HAPPY WHEN SHE'S SAYING THIS PLEASE-

In almost every panel, she looks dainty, petite and naïve to the point of appearing like a child, especially when compared to the ML's massive hulking rippling-pectoral figure. It made for equal parts ridiculous and creepy panels when they were put side by side.

LOOK:

ALSO CACKLING AT HIS POSTURE AND POSITION

TL;DR: Should have been classified as a comedy because I laughed more than I swooned over their apparently dreamy whirlwind forbidden romance.

I Have Become the Heroes' Rival

This story was so good and now it's rapidly going downhill. Claudia and Irene, my beloveds.

Felix - well, very questionable. When he abandoned her on the seaside after their first kiss and dramatically walked off into the ocean I laughed for hours.

And when he broke her bone during sex and the entire thing was romanticised and established to be proof of his inhuman verility I was actually gobsmacked.

"Don't provoke me because I won't be able to stop or control myself after" is the biggest fucking red flag to me. At any point during sex, Irene has the right to feel safe enough to say no or to change her mind. But whatever. The whole attraction of this story appears to be the kinky demon sex. I mean, judging from the comments and the fans it has garnered, I won't say this isn't successful.

TL;DR: Not my cup of tea.

How To Hide the Emperor's Child

I'm so tired of subpar, pathetic MLs.

Why Are You Doing This, Duke?

Some people thought the Duke's transformation from cold-blooded, cruel man to loving and kind to Nöel was funny and cute and a testament of the power of love.

I was uncomfortable with it. The overstated, grand gestures of love, the superficial nature of their relationship in the beginning, and Nöel's own focus on self-preservation to keep her position as the Duke's beloved made me uncomfortable. The Duke felt like a victim.

TL;DR: I don't like Nöel. I don't like the Duke much, either, from what I've seen of his real persona. That said, I did drop it, so I don't know how the story progresses with regards to that love spell and its origins.

Beware of the Brothers!

Sweet home Alabama~

#beware of the brothers #manhwa #solo leveling #the beginning after the end #under the oak tree #why are you doing this duke?#how to hide the emperor's child #i have become the heroes' rival #beatrice #unpopular opinions #please don't send vitriol about these without basis because i won't give a single fuck #discussions are welcomed though

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ladycatofwinterfell · 6 months

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Soft as silk, chapter 2

Summary: It has been some time since the wedding down in Storm’s End when Ned and Lord Robert come north to visit. It’s hard for Catelyn to see her good sister again after what happened when they last saw one another, and the whole ordeal is no less difficult for Ned. Can they ever be true friends? Or will it be impossible to keep themselves from returning to that impossibly sweet moment from their past?

i’m a lesbian and i love nedcat so for a very long time i have wanted to combine those things into one great thing. this is the result of that, a wlw nedcat fic. hope you’ll enjoy the product of years worth of brainrot <3

Eddara, Winterfell

She sunk down on the bed, let her face rest in her hands. She was already exhausted. Just looking at Catelyn was exhausting. Speaking to her was even worse. Not because Ned disliked her. She certainly did not. It was nothing but the matter of Catelyn making everything so terribly difficult.

Ever since her family left Storm’s End after the wedding she had thought of it. Much more often than she should have. Every night before she fell asleep. It didn’t matter how much she tried to push it away, forget about it, Catelyn was ever present in her thoughts.

Her brother’s wife. Catelyn had been wed to Brandon not long before Ned was wed to Robert. That Catelyn would be a perfect wife to Brandon and a good Lady of Winterfell had become obvious to Ned the moment she saw her. She had been poised and ladylike from the moment she rode through the gates. There had been no dislike between them

With a sigh Ned laid back on top of the furs. Looked up at the same canopy that she had looked at through her whole youth. It was a comfort to be back underneath it, to be in her own bedchamber again. Even as she had been in Storm’s End for some time the chamber in Winterfell was the one she thought of as her bedchamber. Just as she thought of Winterfell as her home.

It wasn’t her home anymore. Though it was Catelyn’s. Catelyn was Lady Stark, she lived in the bedchamber that had once belonged to Mother. In the beginning Ned had been unable to keep herself from feeling some resentment for that.

She had little reason to not like Catelyn. None at all. She wished there had been reasons, it would have made it simpler to push her away and disregard her. As it was that was an impossible task. Not made easier by that Catelyn would always be there. She was Brandon’s wife, Rickard’s mother and lady of their ancestral home. There was no escaping her.

Everything had been ripped open again because it had been so long since last they saw one another. Soon the dust would settle and things would return to how they had once been. If Ned could survive until then everything would be alright. It had to be so.

That her eyelids were very heavy became obvious to her only when she let her eyes close. It was easier to sleep in her own bed, much more so than the one she had in Storm’s End. She had traveled far, it had taken long. Her body felt much heavier than it usually did and her mind was slow.

The feast was hours away, no one would miss her, she could sleep.

~*~

The sound of her door creaking open made Ned shoot up. Immediately her eyes went to the window and indeed it was still light outside. She couldn’t have been asleep for very long.

Lyanna’s head poked into the room and she immediately grinned when she saw Ned blink herself awake.

“Thought you’d be here.”

Before Ned had a chance of finding her voice Lyanna had opened the door further and come into the room.

“By all means, come inside” Ned said under her breath as her sister closed the door.

There was a dream in her head that was just beyond the reach of recalling. There had been a child in it. And she was quite sure Catelyn had also been there. Though why and what she had done was impossible to say.

Lyanna threw herself down on the bed next to Ned.

“It’s been so long since last we saw one another and as soon as you have the opportunity to do so you go to your chamber?” she said, propping herself up on her elbows.

“I have traveled far, I’m tired. I thought I would get some rest before the feast tonight.”

She could not claimed to have slept very well on the road. She didn’t sleep very well down in Storm’s End either, kept having strange dreams.

“You will see so much of me you’ll be sick of my face by the time I leave again, you need not worry” she added.

Lyanna sat upright, scooted close enough to Ned to lay an arm around her shoulders.

“It’s good to have you back, the boys get a little tedious.”

“I can imagine.”

Ned loved her brothers dearly and wholeheartedly, though by the gods could they be irritating. Even more so when they were together.

She had always known she would be the first to leave. Brandon would stay in Winterfell and serve as lord, but she was the second eldest and she would be brought to another man’s castle to serve as lady there. That had not made the thought of her family without her any easier.

“I would have thought you had forgotten us with all you have to do down in Storm’s End?” Lyanna said teasingly.

She was smiling, Ned did not feel like smiling. They kept asking her about Storm’s End when the whole thing with the visit was that she was in Winterfell. She would return to her life down there soon enough, could her visit not be about Winterfell?

“You cross my mind every now and then.”

“I will settle for that.”

Lyanna had never been good at being still, that did not seemed to have changed. She left the bed, crossed the room and went to stand by the window to look outside. Down at the yard below.

“Are the stormlanders treating you well?” she asked.

“They have been very welcoming,”

More so than she had expected, in truth. At least when she was within hearing. Perhaps they all hated her and had learned not to express that opinion when Robert was nearby. His fury was never far away and he had presented her as something the gods had brought them. Bless him, he had always been sweet to her.

Ned also left her spot on the bed. It felt strange to sit when Lyanna was standing.

“Well, their new lady is impeccable” Lyanna said with a voice so sweet it seemed coated in honey.

One castle in itself was much like another. The duties a lady had to carry out she had learned to do long before she arrived in Storm’s End.

“Stop that” she sighed.

“Oh do forgive me.”

Still in that mocking tone.

“Lyanna.”

Lyanna did a small curtsy before laughing.

“I’m just glad you were not born a boy” she then said.

“Why?”

“Because had you been a boy I would have been the one down in Storm’s End now. I would not have done as well as you.”

Lyanna wouldn’t have liked it very much down there, it was obvious to Ned. Though one had to do one’s duty, uphold the family honour. It was the only thing that truly mattered. What she did or did not want was of no importance.

“You’re glad Father betrothed me to Robert instead of you?” Ned asked.

“Yes, I am.”

A cold wave came over Ned, sent a shiver down her spine. She could not say why, though Lyanna’s words irked her.

“You’ll be wed soon enough, too” she coolly reminded her sister.

Lyanna looked at her for a long while, her grey eyes seemed to search Ned’s face. The silence dragged on forever, but Ned would not be the one to break it. She wanted to know what Lyanna would say. Or not say.

Ned had always been good at silence. Of course she preferred the silence of being alone in the godswood or the silence of a night with no wind. Though she would also not speak simply to fill the uncomfortable silence that sometimes happened when she was with someone else.

As always she was not the one to say something first, it was Lyanna.

“How many bastards does Robert have?”

Ned sighed.

“It does not matter what he did before we were wed. He’s my husband now, he loves me.”

She had long since decided it was better not to dwell on that. It would not make anything better. Robert was her husband, there was no changing that. If she was to ever be happy in Storm’s End that was all she needed to think about.

Lyanna smiled. Not so much a happy smile as a condescending one.

“Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man’s nature.”

“It also cannot change that he is my husband. You will not get to choose your husband either, it would do you good to stop thinking of what men do when you cannot see them.”

Even as Robert insisted he loved her so she kept herself to that rule. Turned away when it was necessary. It was impossible to change it and it didn’t help to look. The sooner Lyanna realised that the better.

“Not very romantic” Lyanna mused.

“You’re acting like a child.”

Soon enough she would have to face the reality. The truth was that sometimes it was better to do it with the eyes shut.

Lyanna played with the end of her braid. Fiddled with the silver beads that were fastened there. Her smile faded and met its death. She seemed much smaller without it.

Ned looked at her little sister. Little sister. The one she had shielded from the fate of being the Lady of Storm’s End by simply having been born a girl.

“I believe Father intends to betroth me to one of the Ryswells” Lyanna said.

“Has he said so?”

Not that it mattered much to her, she would most likely not be able to travel north for the wedding. At least not if it was anytime soon.

“Not outright, not yet. Though with two southern marriages he needs to look north for mine.”

The Rills were in the North. Beautiful lands. And the Ryswells were known for their fine horses, with how much Lyanna enjoyed riding she would do well there.

“The Rills are not too far away from Winterfell” Ned said. “It’s the north.”

“To tell the truth I would rather they were.”

“Why would you want to be far away from Winterfell?”

Lyanna snorted as if it was obvious.

“Perhaps I want something other than Winterfell.”

There it was agin. The childlike, romantic longing. They had been in the south for a tourney once, Lyanna had all but fallen in love with a man playing a harp. She has thrived among singers and knights and people telling stories. There was much of that in the south, Ned had seen plenty of it. Yet all she wanted was Winterfell.

“Far away from Winterfell is much the same as Winterfell. The only difference is that it’s not home.”

The difference Lyanna seemed to desire did not exist for them. Ned could not bring herself to wish it did.

“I am not lesser than you for what I want, Ned.”

“I never said you were.”

On the contrary it was easy to get the impression that Lyanna believed her lesser for having accepted that which she could not change.

Robert was a good husband to her. Better than many other would have been. He was sweet and kind to her, he treated her well and he loved her. And he was handsome. What many maidens dreamed of.

Despite everything Lyanna smiled then. Ned could not understand how people could be so quick to smile.

”I have missed your frown” she said. ”None of the others can frown like you.”

Ned said nothing to that, merely rolled her eyes. She was not surprised Lyanna said that, it had been ongoing since they were little girls.

”Well, the reason for why I came is that Brandon so kindly asked for everyone to start preparing for the feast” Lyanna then informed her. ”I do believe he wants it all to happen smoothly now when we have Lord Baratheon here for a visit.”

Of course he did. Brandon would not let anything go wrong when he had such an important guest under his roof.

”Then I better make our brother happy.”

Lyanna walked past her, and when Ned didn’t turn to look after her she took the opportunity to tug at her braid.

Ned, not in the least prepared for it, yelped in a very undignified matter and quickly pulled the braid over her shoulder.

”Get out!”

Her sister laughed and Ned could hear her laughter continue even as the door fell closed between them. Lyanna never changed, she was always the same. A bloody menace, that was.

Ned would have liked to bathe, though she did not believe there was time for it and she never would have heard the end of it if she was not ready on time.

No one had stayed in her rooms since she left Winterfell, that became obvious to her when she found her gowns still in the wardrobe. She had not brought all of her clothes with her south, most of her gowns were much too warm for the southern weather. Though she was no longer in the south and gowns trimmed and lines with fur were not too warm.

She had already decided upon a gown of grey wool with sleeves trimmed with white fur when she realised perhaps they were not the right colours for the occasion. She was Lady Baratheon. She was a Stark, she was on a visit to her home, though she came alongside her husband.

Even as she hesitated, looked at the gowns she had brought with her, her decision fell upon the grey one. She was visiting her family, she was allowed to dress in their colours. Her own colours.

Upon her arrival in Storm’s End and all the way to a weeks after her wedding she had taken to the hairdos the stormlander women wore. Every little strand of hair tied up and back or kept in a hairnet so that the wind could not take hold of it. Though in the end she returned to what she knew, instructed the maids to do her hair the way she had done it at home.

Ned sat in a chair in front of her looking glass and watched hands that knew just what to do at work. She needed not instruct, could sit in silence. In her room in her home. And then and there everything was well.

Though the peace in her chamber of course could not last. Soon enough she held Robert’s arm and they walked into Winterfell’s Great Hall together. Ahead of them were Brandon and Catelyn, behind them Benjen and Lyanna.

The faces that looked back at her from the benches were ones she knew. The feasts in Storm’s End were not the same. It didn’t seem to matter how much time passed; the faces were unknown to her every time.

Robert leaned down to speak to her and his warm breath washed over the side of her face.

“You are beautiful” he said.

He was one of few people to have ever told her that. Not that she had ever cared for it much, though she had once overheard one of Father’s lords saying she looked dull. Robert didn’t believe her to be dull.

“You look quite handsome yourself, my lord.”

Robert kissed the corner of her mouth and she smiled.

That smile lasted all the way until she realised she had been seated next to Catelyn. Of course. She should not have been surprised. Lady Baratheon seated next to Lady Stark. She wondered if Catelyn had been the one to make the seating.

It was hard to listen to Brandon as he stood up and spoke. She looked at him as if she did, though not a word stuck with her. If they even reached her in the first place, that was. All of it was pointless. Why a feast when they could have had a small supper together? It would have been much more pleasant.

“I hope your rest was easy, my lady” Catelyn said stiffly when Brandon had finished speaking and they were all sat down.

She looked at Catelyn for a long while, wondered what would happen if she didn’t answer.

“How do you know where I went?” she asked after having decided to not entirely let go off her manners.

Her words were sharper than intended, though she did not regret it.

Catelyn’s eyebrows went a little higher up.

“It seemed likely you would go to your chamber. Though forgive me if the question was intrusive.”

Their eyes were locked for another moment, then Catelyn had hidden her face in her cup. So Ned did the same.

A wine that was a little too sweet for her liking. Something Robert had brought from the south, she suspected. Her husband was awfully fond of that sweet wine.

“Your husband so graciously brought wine for the feast” Catelyn said as if she had heard her thoughts. “From the Arbor, perhaps?”

By the tone of her voice it was obvious it was a question. Ned was surprised by that Catelyn had continued speaking with her. Though she supposed wine was neutral ground.

“I would not know” she replied.

“Well, either way it is a very a good wine.”

If Catelyn was making another attempt at agreeable conversation then why not entertain it? Ned saw quite clearly that there were few benefits to arguing with her good sister. Perhaps they never could be friends, perhaps that opportunity had already passed them. Or maybe it would come with time.

“Too sweet for my taste, if I am to be honest.”

She much preferred a dry red if she was to drink wine. The only sweet wine she liked was the mulled wine served in the north. To return inside when the cold outside was biting and feel the warmth of a mug of mulled wine.

Catelyn looked down in her cup, swirled the deep red liquid around. Her lips had turned slightly upwards.

“You northerners, you’re all the same” she mused.

“I’d say the same for you southrons” Ned snorted.

Then she emptied the rest of her cup. She would not be particular about her drink that evening, she decided. It would do her no good.

“Are you not one of us now?” Catelyn asked.

“Are you not one of us?” Ned retaliated.

If she was a southerner than Catelyn was a northerner. She had been wed to Brandon longer than Ned had been wed to Robert.

The silence that fell between them after that was made harder by the knowledge of that it seemed possible for them to speak without it turning sour immediately. Though perhaps that had been nothing but luck.

The rest of the meal was spent talking to everyone but the other. It made all of it much more pleasant. Lyanna and Benjen never seemed to cease with endless stories of what had happened since they last saw one another.

Though Winterfell was much the same. At least it sounded that way. And Ned was happy to lean back in her chair and listen to her brother and sister. It had been long since she last heard their voices and she could never know when she would next hear them once she left Winterfell again.

Ned tried not to think too much about that the hall was filled with other loud people. They were her people, many of them she had known all her life. She was very glad to see them instead of the strangers of Storm’s End. That did not make it any less true that she would have preferred to sup with only her family instead of sitting through a feast. It was overwhelming. Though at least there was good food and good ale.

“My lady, would you dance with me?” Robert asked once they had finished eating.

“I would dance with you, my lord” Ned said. “Though there is no dancing yet.”

Many were still eating, no part of the hall had been cleared for dancing yet. They could wait a little.

“We can see to that” Brandon immediately said.

“That is not–“

She was interrupted by Brandon standing up and clapping his hands. Soon enough the hall went quiet and everyone turned their eyes to him, waiting for what he had to say.

Ned remained firm in her belief that they could have waited. They had just eaten, she would have rather sat there for a while. Why the urgency to move around?

“Let us clear the hall for dancing!” Brandon called.

He was met with cheers and mugs being banged against the table. The sound of it was close to deafening.

It grew even louder as people began pushing and pulling tables aside to make room for dancing. So much sound in a closed space was much the opposite of music. Or much like very poorly played music.

She noticed Catelyn grimacing at the loud sound. She also noticed how Brandon laughed at her and leaned towards her to say something. Whatever he said made her roll her eyes and he then kissed her hair. Catelyn’s hair was so soft.

When Robert stood up Ned also did so. It took only seconds before she had Robert’s arm around her waist. He was warm and strong. It was like leaning against a sun warm rock.

“You disappeared before” he said. “Lady Catelyn returned without you.”

She wished he had not asked.

“Forgive me” she said in a low voice. “I was very tired and in need of rest.”

In need of rest and to be away from Catelyn for a while.

“You need not apologise. I merely wondered what had become of you.”

That was a good question. She also wondered what had become of her.

“I was in my bedchamber” she let him know.

They had been given separate chambers. They had slept in separate chambers ever since they were wed as Robert had struggled sleeping with her. She moved around too much in her sleep. Truth be told she quite liked having her bed to herself. That way she did not have to worry about what she did when she was sleeping.

“That was what I suspected.”

As the terrible noise finally came to an end Robert took her arm and led her to the space that had been cleared for dancing. She would have preferred not dancing the first dance as she knew there would be less onlookers later. The interest in the first dance was far greater than the interest in the last.

Brandon had asked Catelyn for a dance. Catelyn was a much more graceful dancer than Ned was, she had noticed that during Brandon’s wedding feast. Of course she was. How could she not be? She was beautiful and eloquent and graceful. Everything a noblewoman was supposed to be.

Ned tried to keep her eyes on Robert as they danced. Forced herself to look at his handsome face, return his smile. Though her eyes kept darting to Catelyn. And when their eyes had met briefly several times she began suspecting that Catelyn was looking at her in return.

“You seem distracted” Robert noted after a while.

“Do I?”

“Often I look at you and wonder what’s on your mind.”

“Rarely anything important.”

It was the truth. It was not important. Not in the least.

Robert spun her around suddenly, she did not follow well enough. Her misstep must have taken him by surprise because he didn’t manage to hold her upright and so she stumbled backwards. Right into a person that crashed into the person they were dancing with.

“What are you doing?” Brandon exclaimed.

He had caught Catelyn, whom Ned had stumbled into.

“Making a fool of myself, it seems” Ned sighed.

She would have liked to disappear. Sink through the floor and return when there was no one around to look at her. The eyes of everyone around them was burning her skin.

Catelyn didn’t seem to feel the same dismay as Brandon. No, she smiled. And when she saw that Ned took notice of that she raised a hand to cover that smile.

“Forgive me” she said, as if Ned had not been the one to fall into her.

“Whatever for?”

Catelyn lowered her hand, showing her smile again. Even as Ned felt overwhelmed and stupid for not managing a simple spin she was struck by what a beautiful smile it was. How terribly annoying.

“Should we finish the dance?” Robert asked.

Ned turned to him and knew that she could not tell him no. So she nodded and stepped close to him once more.

Though they managed to dance without further mishaps Ned quickly returned to the table once it was over. Before Robert had time to ask her for another dance. There she once again filled her cup and drank deep from it. It would be a long night.

~*~

Her head was swimming, she shouldn’t have had so much to drink. She rarely drank much at all, didn’t like the way it made her feel. The loss of control she liked even less. It was as if her thoughts were not her own.

Catelyn was beautiful. Not in her own way or only when the light fell on her in a certain or just as she smiled. No, she was truly beautiful. With her thick auburn hair that always seemed to fall perfectly around her face, the light freckles on her face and the blue eyes one could drown in. Her smile was so bright and kind and…

Ned felt how she slumped back in her chair. She wanted to hide away in a corner somewhere, but that wouldn’t do. Neither would the thoughts of Catelyn do. Not at all, not in the least.

When she tried to put her elbow on the armrest of the chair to lean her head against her hand it slipped and all she succeeded with was punching herself in the face. That wretched ale. And wine.

As she tried to sit upright again she noticed that Catelyn had glanced at her. For a moment grey eyes met blue, then the blue eyes had quickly averted themselves.

There had already been a faint blush on Catelyn’s cheeks, but Ned believed they became even redder then. Catelyn was beautiful even when she blushed. She was even more beautiful than usual when she blushed.

Ned remembered how sweet the sight was up close and hated herself for it. It was gone, in the past, a very stupid thing.

She couldn’t stay there. Catelyn’s eyes on her made her unable to be still, made her want to leave her body. She had yet to visit the godswood, she would go there. Find some solace with the gods.

When she stood up she had to lean against the table for a moment. The room was spinning around her, she had left her chair much too quickly.

Though she didn’t allow herself more than a few deep breaths before standing upright to walk away. No one would miss her, she had been there long enough.

She made her way to the doors through the crowded hall. No one took notice of her as she passed them. She disappeared among all the men and women moving around.

The night outside was cloudy and cold winds swept through the yard. There was less movement outside, though there the darkness would keep her shielded from sight. Or so she believed.

She had not come further than ten steps out of the hall before someone called for her.

“Ned!”

Ned stopped, but didn’t immediately turn. What did Catelyn want that time? What did they have to say to one another?

When she did not answer Catelyn came closer. Ned only turned her head when she stood next to her. Even then she wondered if it would not be better if she just walked away.

“What do you want?” Ned sighed.

Catelyn cleared her throat uncomfortably.

“I suppose I wish to apologise if I have in any way upset you.”

The smile that appeared on her face after she had finished speaking was a very nervous one.

“There is no need to pretend you don’t know what happened” Ned answered.

It was ridiculous. Of course Catelyn was more than aware of exactly what it was that had upset her. That had upset both of them.

“Please, everything would be much easier if we simply agreed to forgive each other and move past it.”

They shared common ground in that they wanted to move past it, though Ned had trouble seeing what part she had in what had happened.

“What should you forgive me for?” she asked sharply. “You did it, the fault lies with you.”

Catelyn’s eyes widened and she drew back as if Ned had struck her.

“No no no no, you do not get to say that to me” she hissed.

“It’s the truth.”

Catelyn had been the one to kiss her. She had been the one to lean forward and press her lips to Ned’s.

“You are like this, you believe yourself to be so much better than everyone else even as you’re not. You returned the kiss.”

“I did not return anything!”

“You did!”

Catelyn was infuriating. There was no other way to put it. Infuriating and terribly bad at seeing her own faults and flaws. It would have been much easier to move past it if she had acknowledged that it was all due to her.

Ned had to look away as she saw how tears began rising in Catelyn’s eyes. She could not bear to look at it. Even as the tears most likely were due to anger.

“You returned the kiss” she repeated. “I know you did. I felt it.”

She sounded almost desperate towards the end. Against herself Ned understood her desperation.

“You are mistaken” she insisted, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You had your hand in my hair.”

Catelyn laid a hand on her arm and then immediately removed it again. When Ned looked at her she held her hand out in the hair, flexing her fingers indecisively.

“It was a mistake” she continued. “A mistake we made together, nothing but. It is not who we are. We need not fight over it.”

It was most definitely not who they were. And most definitely not a mistake they had made together. If she would just stop insisting it was on the both of them?

“Are we fighting?” Ned asked coolly.

“Why must you act this way?”

It would have been so very easy to return the question, though Ned had another one she much rather would have had an answer to.

“Why did you do it?”

Why had Catelyn kissed her?

The silence was long and suffocating. Several times Catelyn opened her mouth as if to say something and then promptly shut it again. She made small gestures with her hands, seemingly believing that would help her in her search for words. All this while Ned merely stood there and watched her, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know!” Catelyn finally exclaimed.

She threw her arms out to her sides.

“So all this and you do not even know?”

It was impossible to say what answer she would have wanted. She tried to push away the disappointment at the one she got. No, it couldn’t be disappointed. Why would she be disappointed?

“What do you mean by ‘all this’?” Catelyn questioned.

“This. What we’re doing right now.”

“What would you rather we do?”

A forbidden thought that made it impossible to look at Catelyn entered Ned’s mind. She had had too much to drink. Much too much.

“I never meant for it to be like this” Catelyn said when Ned remained silent.

“I know.”

That had been very obvious from the beginning. From the way Catelyn’s eyes had widened after they had parted. How she had looked almost horrified at what had taken place.

Then and there she didn’t look horrified. She looked sad and so damnably beautiful. Big, blue eyes and auburn hair and a freckles face with high cheekbones. And her lips were chapped, though Ned still knew it would feel good to kiss them.

She forced herself to turn away before she could act on the impulse. They would get nowhere, it was quite clear. As much as that pained her.

“I bid you goodnight, Lady Catelyn” she said.

“I wish you sweet dreams, Lady Eddara” Catelyn replied in a voice that sounded strangled.

Ned hoped she would not dream at all. Though she would return to her chamber immediately. The godswood would have to wait, she needed to go where no one would follow. Where she could lock a door and keep everyone on the other side of it.

By the time she had closed that door she was out of breath. Not because she had walked too fast, it was simply hard to breathe. No air reached her lungs, it got stuck in her throat. As if she was going to weep but never did.

There came a knock on the door, before she could pull herself together enough to answer it opened. In her rush to get inside she had forgotten to lock it.

“Good evening, my love” Robert said and Ned had to keep herself from grimacing.

“Good evening.”

She knew what he was after. There was only one reason for him to come to her chamber at that hour. He was seeking to perform his duties to her. To make her with child.

Robert’s kiss was rough and she could taste drink on him. He could most likely taste the same on her. It was so different from how Catelyn had kissed her. Even as she didn’t want to she compared every kiss he gave her to the one she had shared with Catelyn. It shouldn’t have been so.

Ned could not claim to particularly want it. At times she did, at times she truly welcomed his affections. When not she had comforted herself with the thought of the children it would give them. Though that did not matter. What mattered was that she did her duty. That she performed what she had to as Robert’s wife.

Robert undressed with eagerness, her hands were shaking so much she had trouble doing the same. Though in the end she was naked on her bed and Robert was on top of her.

No child would come, she was convinced of it. She had lost all the others. So she merely closed her eyes and tried to keep herself from thinking of how heavy Catelyn had made her chest.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gave the fuck up on finishing it all and posting it on a schedule because I got too excited about posting this and didn’t want to wait more. Don’t know when there will be more, but hopefully sometime soon!

#wlw nedcat <3333 they are everything to me. love them. my darlings #catelyn stark #catelyn tully #ned stark #ned x cat #my fic #soft as silk

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chibichibisha · 1 year

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You did mention that Cornelius and Lillia dislike each other. What kind of relationship those two have?

*cracks knuckles*

Yes, I did mention that Lilia dislike Cornelius, but Cornelius is in a more neutral, respectful ground about this.

To keep things clear, I will go straight to the point; Cornelius and Malleus have related ancestors, their families were tied long long time ago, but not anymore. He adopts a responsible role with Sebek and Silver (as in the Halloween event when Malleus and Lilia dissapear) and with Lilia there is a cold animosity. They have the kind of relationship where both keep their distance for different reasons.

Cornelius is considered "the dethroned king" back at the valley, cause though his family had royal blood and were once tied with Malleus family, centuries ago, where the reign wasn't unified yet, Cornelius grandfather commited a magical atrocity (basically he used it to turn into a Lich fpr his own, controversial purposes, in a process similar to blots) and the bloodline titles and their priviledges and life were removed. Lilia was alive at that time, before or meanwhile the war happened, and is aware of the tainted past of Cornelius' family and how they could have reasons nowadays to have bad feelings toward Malleus' remaining family or resent them.

Lilia is not okay with Cornelius figure being near Malleus at school because of this, and at the same time, this puts a lot of pressure in his role as knight, and guardian, because he is responsible of the current prince. He cannot trust Cornelius nor his word, but he cannot also let Malleus forget about his own role as the next King either and it tires him out.

Cornelius is aware of this and he believes that, even if Lilia might have a reasonable motive to be wary of him (and Lilia does not try to hide this, he behaves very different to Cornelius), he is not his family nor he commited his grandpa's betrayal. He accepts the hate they harvested and accepts this treatment, even respects it, but Cornelius loves his family and he is not ashamed of them or their believings.

As a result, Cornelius also keeps his distance with Sebek and Silver as well, except when he thinks he has to step in to help when neither Lilia or Malleus is around. Silver respects Lilia's opinions, but he still doesn't fully understands the nature behind all the story, so he is short of curious.

As for Malleus, he is not threatened by Cornelius presence at all, and they were never hostile or tense at each other (quite the contrary). They are both separated by centuries of isolated families, but it seems this is not going to change with them. Yet.

#twst #twst oc #Cornelius Caudrun #I missed talk about my nerdy creations fndnd

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skeleton-mischief · 2 months

Text

Vanilla Serrif

Woah it's time baby. Ooo mama here we go, I gotta post my personal headcanons for Sans Undertale from the hit game Undertale by Toby Fox

Vanilla Serrif:

- Official height is 5'4

- He/Him

- Pansexual (more like PUNsexual)

- Nihilist

- Drinks Ketchup

- Diligent, empathetic, intuitive, pessimistic, patient, trustworthy, loyal, observant, cynical, charismatic, overthinker, reflective, reassuring, kind, and playful

- Loves horrible puns and pranks

- Hates making promises since he takes them seriously

- Had a good relationship with Gaster before he fell

- The only one to remember Gaster

- Sometimes has memories in the form of dreams

- Has a willing acceptance of things that happen, even if it's wack

- Will avoid fights. However, he will fight if necessary

- Prefers dogs over cats, but loves any animal

- Does not curse often, and usually prefers not to

- Magic smells of pine and frost, magic tastes like vanilla

- Likes handshakes and fist bumps

- Calls Frisk "Kid/Kiddo"

- Goes ragdoll if picked up

- He cries to himself very quietly, but he sniffles a lot and has a tendency to hide away as well

- Would call his lover "Starlight"

- Will be petty if told what to do by someone he dislikes, more than happy to do everything wrong

- Loved to mess with Undyne before she befriended Papyrus, but as time went along he didn't do it to out of actually trying to provoke her. Nowadays it's out of affection

- Loves to go to the bar to amuse everyone there, as he is rather popular Underground

- Does not blame Frisk for all that happened in the timelines, because he senses the presence of something else lingering

- Doesn't remember everything from the timelines but rather vague memories, sensations, and sometimes gets confused what's happening as a result

- Tends to zone out a lot, sometimes as if he's unsure of where he is

- The most chill in nature, it's actually near impossible to piss him off about things

- Does pranks to those he likes, it's a form of flattery and also in an attempt to make them laugh

- Finds really stupid shit funny, even if it's just a goose walking around with a silly hat

- Raised Cyperus when Gaster fell, it's why he is so supportive of him and is more than willing to do anything to make him happy

- Enjoys being in Waterfall the most, as it's a reclusive location that allows him to self reflect and get some "peace of mind" with the ambiance of the water

- He feels proud when Toriel pun battles with him, since he never had anyone Underground do it the same way she does. He was actually the one to push her to make new puns

- His dynamic with Flowey is an odd one. He doesn't know that he's Asriel, and he doesn't interact with him. He knows that he was the cause of resets, however, before Frisk fell. He knows that his faint memories of all that happened before Frisk weren't fake, but they're so tangled together that he doesn't know how to feel. He wasn't quite there for it the same way some others were, since at the time he just thought it was his imagination. Afterwards, like possibly above surface if Flowey remained the same- he wouldn't resent him. Flowey wouldn't share who he really is but the two have some tension. Sans just makes things harder for Flowey, but doesn't outright antagonize at him with malicious intent. He can sometimes get along with him, and finds him to rather be a bit of an annoying little shit. He doesn't hate him though, as he is reflective of why he did it and he gets the idea that Flowey isn't ACTUALLY evil. He is only slightly off put that he can't read him, however, since he's soulless. He gets the off put feeling though that Flowey is childish to the point that it's...almost?? Amusing??? He reminds him of a child who needs time to adapt to new things, someone who can be patient with him. It's just kinda complicated

- Can fall asleep anywhere, and I mean anywhere. He has fallen asleep in fridges, on ledges, upside down while hanging from a fan,,,,

- A proud Dunkle for Frisk, not quite a Dad but not an Uncle either

- Won't put in effort unless he wants to, which is rarely. In fact, he only starts to put in effort when on the Surface, but it's a rare occassion

- Has some of the sickest burns because he doesn't mind about hurting someone's feelings when he dislikes them. He also gets creative, so it's not just half attempts to insult someone

- Has many jobs above the surfsce. Works at the counter, sells food inside food trucks, and even is a school janitor

- Drives a tricycle around, if he's not in someone else's car he's willing to pedal all the way across a town or city if need be

- Plays trombone, not only is it a fun pun but defying logic since he's a skeleton is some of that chaotic energy he wants in life

- Protective of his brother but not to the point he thinks his brother is incapable. He raised him, taught him things, and he's proud of him. He is protective when he wants his brother to be safe, but he's not going to threaten you. He's actually pretty sincere about it once he sits you down. When it came to Undyne, he teased her somewhat and kinda pushed her limits because he knew how badly his brother wanted to be in the Royal Guard. The two eventually talked though and he worked on his communication skills when on the surface

- Made Cyperus his royal guard costume for a Halloween Party, he is happy to see his brother wear it around while Underground

- Bonds with Alphys over memes, anime, and other "weeb" activities. Both feel that "I wanna die" energy that goes well with "LMAO look at this meme" so the two can get along. He sees that she has a lot of anxiety too, and so when he visits her he tries to reassure her and distract her in ways no one else can

- He and Napstablook have bonded over laying on the ground feeling like trash together many times, he's also supportive of his music and will listen to it without getting spooked. They aren't close, but they can be considered friends

- He was actually suspicious of what Alphys was doing and actually discovered the Amalgamates before Frisk. He confronted her about it and it was the only thing he's ever been serious about, since he finds it cruel that family is separated from it. It also opened his eyes to a fear of Determination in general, which is why he's the most weary of Frisk other than the fact that they can reset. He never snitched on her, but he always would talk to her about it when it was mentioned

- Learned sign language before Frisk, as Gaster also used it when no one understood Wingdings

- Can't flirt for shit. When he's actually attracted to someone, he starts stuttering and kinda tripping over himself and fumbling. He'll sometimes run away if he messes up out of embarrassment, but it's endearing.

- Owns too many combs, in which he'll offer them if people do or do not need it

- Only does the zaza rarely, and if he's with company

- Doesn't smoke, but he'll pick one up if he's stressed enough, which is rarely

- Always napping with annoying dog when he actively decides to nap, and only then does annoying dog appear

- He embraces his laziness the most out of all the Sanses, it's a pleasure to have it

- He loves to make people uncomfortable, especially when he's bored and he wants to make weird small talk with someone to provoke a reaction

- He is a meme box, he knows all of them and makes references constantly

- When he found out that ketchup chips were a thing he found ways to enjoy his beloved outside of the condiment

- He loves french fries and hamburgers a lot, but only hamburgers from Grillby because only he can make them the way Vanilla loves them

- Only sells hotdogs or other foods that his brother makes

- Grillby and him go way back and he somehow is one of few to understand him

- A heavy sleeper, when he's passed it's like trying to wake up a corpse because even if you shake him around he will not stir

- Has reading glasses he rarely wears despite Cyperus telling him to wear them, he doesn't like remembering when he was a royal scientist

- Enjoys cooking from almost anyone, compliments them every time even if others think it's god awful

- Likes photography, hell pose if he's serious and loves photo bombing others

- Enjoys walks through the forests, it reminds him of Snowdin when he's on the surface

- Emotionally closed off despite being emotionally supportive of others, he had to when Underground because they would just forget anyways

- Video games that he plays are things such as Pokemon, Animal Crossing, or sandbox style games like Minecraft because it has minimal violence and it's more relaxing

- He dislikes formal wear, no reactions to his puns, opening up, lies, being useless, washing his jacket, and others being close minded

- The king of socks, he owns.... so many.

- Doesn't identify as asexual, but has little to no interest in sexual intimacy

- Takes all ketchup packets from restaurants and convenience stores when it's free. No one knew that he did this though until he saw a photo of him hung up saying he was banned at a restaurant because of it. Broke his soul

Closing Notes:

I have so much fun with these and I'd love to hear what other headcanons you guys have! I wanted to combine his canon character and kinda mix it in with my head canons or some that I found and loved overtime. I will later go into detail about things such as his love language and all that once I'm done really going through characters! I hope you enjoyed reading, you must've at least a little to eat this far

Thank you 🫡

#sans undertale #sans #headcanon #bone man #silly goofy guy #goober #hes so silly #he is bbg #my bbg fr #I'd smooch him frfr #my beloved #uber autism #yooooo #undertale #toby fox

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bikelock28 · 1 year

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I’ve read a lot of your Black family centric stories on Ao3 and I’ve noticed that Sirius essentially treats Regulus as a punching bag in most of them(for lack of a better word lol). It does definitely show a more nasty and not exactly justified side of Sirius, but at the same time- I understood that it was the result of many factors(his upbringing, being a teenager, general life stuff, dealing with anger and frustration) and it does help to explain his actions, even if it doesn’t excuse them.

My question for you- do you think Sirius did care for his brother at all or was it really just dislike/anger/resentment? Most of the interactions I’ve read between the two brothers in your stories are fairly negative, but I see it as Sirius just being extremely frustrated with a lot of things and Regulus being the easiest person to take that out on(because in “An Autumn” at least, he really can’t fight back against the adults in his family 🤷‍♀️). His behavior and actions towards Regulus are certainly harsh and negative, but at the same time I’ve never believed that Sirius actually hated his brother(even if canon and a lot of fanfic shows they had a rocky relationship to say the least XD). I was also curious to know how you thought Sirius reacted to his death(perhaps both publicly and/or privately depending on how he found out) and do you think his opinion on Regulus would have changed at all if he knew what happened in the Cave? (My personal answer is yes, but it also depends on when and how Sirius finds out)

Anyway, I’ve really enjoyed your writing and I especially like your stories about the Blacks even if they do always feel rather intense and emotionally draining by the end XD

Thank you for your reviews, and for this thoughtful question. You’ve clearly thought a lot about my writing and how it’s shaped your headcanon. Thank you very much. Did Sirius did care for his brother at all or was it really just dislike/anger/resentment?

Both. Anger is caring. To not care would be callous indifference- which I wrote that Sirius pretends to others, and perhaps to himself, is what he feels. But to bully someone the way he does Regulus is clearly not that.

If you meant “care for” as in love…it’s hard to say because most of S and R’s active relationship was when they were children, so had a different understanding of love to adults and teenagers. I think when Sirius was a child, if he saw Regulus in a burning building or about to fall off a cliff, he would have saved him. But I don’t know if that counts as love necessarily.

As for when they grow up and S runs away…it can be very difficult stop loving your family, even if you want to stop loving them. “Can’t help loving you even though I wish I didn’t” isn’t just a trope for romantic relationships.

This is not something I’ve experienced personally, and even if I had, all family estrangements are different so it’s hard to say. I tried to avoid Walburga’s chapter of Bottle becoming too We Need To Talk About Kevin, but that comparison seems relevant here- she knows her son’s done something terrible (from her perspective), and she hates him and herself for it, but she also can’t help but love him.

I was also curious to know how you thought Sirius reacted to his death(perhaps both publicly and/or privately depending on how he found out).

Backtracking to R joining the DEs in the first place: it was after S ran away and left school, so they wouldn’t have been each other for a while. Plus Sirius and his friends are in the Order, and people from school are in the DEs. So I don’t think it would have been a huge shock to Sirius, although I do think privately he would have been angrily disappointed and betrayed. Family can make you feel that way, right? “I feel let down and furious even though I saw this coming”.

When Regulus dies, Sirius has experienced the death of friends/colleagues in the Order, and presumably some combination of the Potter/Evans parents. It’s fun to write him as a badass carefree 20-year-old, but all of that generation are surrounded by so much death. So the R’s death, despite him being S’s brother, might seem insignificant to Sirius in amongst all the deaths of A. The Good Guys, B. People S actually knows and cares about. That’s definitely what he’d tell people. And he’d probably say R was a prick, an idiot, “one less of those bastards to worry about eh?”.

But of course it couldn’t be insignificant could it? This is his brother. I think privately S would be quite jarred and unmoored by it. It would make him feel very disconnected from his family because the R he’d imagine in his head would be a few years younger than the R who died. Again, even if you want to be disconnected to your family, a reminder of it can be uncomfortable.

Selfishly S also be worried the Order would be more suspicious of him and his connections.

I think he might possibly open up to the Marauders about this after a couple of drinks. But I don’t think he would actually mourn R.

do you think his opinion on Regulus would have changed at all if he knew what happened in the Cave?

Of course. S never thinks of R as brave, and what R did in the cave was extremely brave- both in what he had to do, and because he was betraying Voldemort. I think S would be surprised and impressed by this. He’d realise that perhaps he didn’t know Regulus at all. But he also knows he didn’t want to and R still joined the DEs, so I don’t think this realisation would make S feel regretful.

#Questions or something #Sirius black #regulus black #rab #hp #my rambles #blacks #asks

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artsychaosbean · 1 year

Text

I watched a video and it infuriates me

youtube

My issue with the video is this is a mom vs a professional nutritionist. This is another case of a mother who stubbornly thinks she cant possibly be wrong.

I was forced to eat peas and beans, I have autism. I can't handle the texture of peas or beans. I was forced to eat garlic with a garlic allergy.

I was forced to overeat

Many parents not all but MANY parents take a "I know your body best" stance and IGNORE the words of their child. Forcing a kid to eat is just as bad as depriving them of food. and it does cause EDs I went through 2 different eating disorders and my relationship with vegetables and meat has been soured my whole life since I was a child. I have to force myself to eat vegetables and it has to be cooked in specific ways. I don't WANT to be this way and didnt make myself this way. Same with meat, unless its fish I struggle to eat meat even though I love the taste of chicken I was forced to eat so much meat even when full it makes me want to puke.

I developed stomach problems aswell so I cant eat as much anymore and my digestion is messed up. I cant digest beef, pork, brussel sprouts, peppers or beans at all anymore.

So this "Tough love" Mom just comes off ignorant. Shes stuck in that same toxic mind set and keeps talking over the nutritionist who seems like a very polite person. when I was forced to eat food I got an ED that made me have an aversion to food, eating caused me panic attacks. When I was fat shamed despite not eating much bc I did have weight problems even though I ate little, ate healthy and was active, but the result was I started skipping meals and sneakily putting meals back and throwing up. I was starving myself.

Then later on in life I got the opposite end of that eating disorder over being fat shamed and I'd starve myself still at meal times but then guilt binge a bunch of junk food and hide the wrappers and packaging in the garbage, and then guilt starve myself again for eating. it was a vicious cycle.

Some parents do NOT understand that kids aren't just manipulative whiny attention seeking little devils. Which is how they treat their children. STOP EXPECTING THE WORST IN YOUR CHILDREN. COMPROMISE, TALK TO THEM AND TREAT THEM LIKE HUMAN BEINGS.

When you expect the worst in your child and treat them off of that, you cause resentment. When you don't listen to your child even if they never have lied to or manipulated you in their life, you teach them that no one will ever believe them and that affects their self image. When you don't listen to your child on their health, they won't listen to their own body and start ignoring the signs of health complications. That could KILL your child if the psychological damage goes too far. I was ignored on numerous occasions and got injuries from it or ended up almost in the hospital. My mother then turned around and made it all about herself being a victim "IF YOU JUST LISTENED TO ME ABOUT THIS UNRELATED THING A WEEK AGO THIS WOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED" as I sit there with my thighs entirely bruised unable to walk bc I had an injury that got irritated bc she forced me out when I told her I couldn't and warned her my injury would get worse. But bc shes the mother she "Knew best" and didn't take responsibility when I got hurt worse bc she ignored me.

Yknow what that taught me? That I can't TRUST my MOTHER to take care of my physical needs. That I have to take full care of myself. This means as a teen I wouldn't tell her if I was in pain, even when it got to the point where I SHOULD have been hospitalized. Because I no longer TRUSTED her to tell her. bc of HER actions and HER words. TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN. LISTEN TO THEM. DONT TAKE THEIR CONCERNS LIGHTLY. and if your child is being "Picky" consult professionals if no way you cook something works. Because if they complain about texture it very well could be adhd or autism. And if its not, and if they dislike that item regardless of how you cook it. Let it go, find other foods they might like in the same food group. Dont like cauliflower? Try broccoli. Again try it in different recipes dont keep trying the same thing over and over expecting them to just "get used to it" bc maybe its the way you cook it. I hate tomatos cooked for example bc of the heat and texture but I love them raw in a salad. It doesn't mean I dont eat tomatos, it just means I don't like them cooked and thats not that hard to do. And NEVER hide the food from your child. If you do that will also create a negative relationship with food and a distrust in you as a parent which will make them LESS likely to willingly try new things which can impact their relationship with other foods. If they don't like hot dogs, try "pigs in a blanket" But dont HIDE that its hotdogs in it, let them know. Make an agreement with your child to try everything ONCE and to try every new recipe ONCE. but don't pressure them or scream at them even if its frustrating. Yelling at your child just makes it harder on them especially if its autism. As a child who was forced into EVERYTHING and never had a choice. I have now grown into an adult with a lot of self image issues, a bad relationship with two essential food groups, and more triggers for my PTSD and Anxiety. It impacted my mental health and self worth. Im not the only one, I have a group of 12 friends on discord who all went through similar things with the same / similar consequences in their life from the issue. We all have a fear of foods now and we all had eating disorders as children and teens bc of our parents.

#disordered eating mention #trigger warning! Eating disorder #autism #neurodivergence #bad parenting #physical health #picky eating #autism & food #Youtube

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buffysummerslay · 3 years

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I have watched Lucifer series finale yesterday and I am still reeling from feelings, feelings I need to work through to be able to move on.

Unfortunately, I am late to the party and I have started watching Lucifer (despite the show being on my radar for a few years already) when season 6 came out, and this turned avoiding spoilers about the ending as well as the show itself into an extremely hard task. I have, of course, seen some reactions to the ending and it was obvious that the viewers were divided between "the ending was amazing, they really did the story and the characters justice" and "what the fuck was that". I always take these reactions, especially when they come instantly after the episode has ended, with a grain of salt because, realistically, I haven't been fully satisfied with the way a tv show has ended - any tv show - since, like, 2010. However, I also know that there is a difference between "okay, the ending was anticlimactic/disappointing/etc, however, it is the journey that matters and I am still pretty happy with the show" and HIMYM type of ending where you are like "I want this show wiped from my memory because the final hour has ruined the entire experience for me". So, I took some time to reflect on the events that took place, gather my thoughts, and make my peace with the ending. After doing that, I can comfortably say that I am not fully satisfied with the ending because of one very simple reason - I can make sense of the choices taken by the character at the very end of the show only if I use "Lucifer gave Rory his word" rationale, and not because I believe in the theory they provided or the choices they make. So here are some of my thoughts about the ending of this beloved show, including both the things I liked and disliked. Be warned, there are spoilers ahead so if you haven't seen the show, the final season or the series finale, please stop reading because you don't want to manifest spoilery energy into your life!

The main thing I have a problem with is the time loop. I will begin by saying that I really dislike time travel in general - I think that it is an overly used plot divice that more than often creates holes in the story instead of driving the narrative where it needs to go, unless the concept of time travel is integral to the show, like for example in Timeless and Fringe. However, in this case, I dislike that the major characters have made a major decision (a serious, impactful, life-altering decision) based on a flimsy theory. And since they have told us exactly what will happen in the end, we simply didn't know why and how, I have expected a more bulletproof reasoning instead of a rushed conversation wrapped up in five minutes and sealed by a promise. Lucifer leaves Chloe and Rory and goes back to hell, Rory grows up resenting him and she becomes so angry she travels through time to confront him only to end up being the reason for his departure, therefore creating an unbreakable time loop. She makes her parents give her their word that they won't change a thing in order to make sure that Lucifer discovers his true calling, which is helping souls in Hell break their hell loops and ascend to Heaven. And the reason I am so hesitant to accept this is because of two reasons:

1. Lucifer has made amazing progress through the show when it comes to his character development, finding his worth and making peace with his identity, and yet you are trying to tell me that this is the only way he would discover his true calling, especially now when he has a higher level of understanding himself than ever before? And especially since these thoughts and doubts have already been in his mind aka him postponing to become God long before Rory's arrival into their timeline!

2. The consequences of our actions are the results of the choices we make, not the other way around. And sometimes, different choices can lead to different outcomes and sometimes the array of choices we make lead to the same outcome. It is absolutely possible that if they broke the time loop and made different choices, that their actions would lead them to the same outcome aka Lucifer finding his calling while remaining in their lives. I think that it is fully possible for them to make a timeline B (the timeline that would have been created if they broke the time loop) based on the discoveries from the timeline A (their current timeline). There's no reason for me to believe otherwise.

Apart from the discovery of Lucifer's calling, the only thing that came out of the time loop was pain, suffering and probably a lot of loneliness. Even the good things that came out of the time loop (like Lucifer and Rory bonding) are a consequence of the pain that it caused. Of course, if they broke a time loop and created a completely new timeline, choices they would make there could theoretically end up having worse consequences on their lives. They could also be better, or they could be completely the same. The thing is, we don't know, we can only speculate and that is exactly what bothers me. The main characters made a major decision based on a speculation. I don't necessarily have a problem with the things that have happened, but rather with how they happened and how they were explained. Or better to say, how they weren't. I think that they should have completely dedicated the season to exploring this and reassuring us that this is the right choice to make and the right way to go.

Also, the concept of free will and making one's own choices has been pretty integral to the show. We have watched Lucifer struggle with the concept since the beginning of the show because he was convinced he is only a puppet in his father's grand plans. There were many events in the show reinforcing that belief, like Chloe being the gift from God. It took him seasons to accept that he chose to stay in her life, to be close to her, to be her partner in work as well as in life and in that acceptance he finally found the strength to tell her that he loves her. He chose her and she chose him. And while one can argue that leaving them and going back to hell was Lucifer's choice (since, technically, he could have chosen to break his word to his daughter and change things), it is one he didn't want to make. In the final episode he says that he desires to watch his daughter grow up and before he leaves for Hell he tells Chloe he doesn't want to leave her (she even responds that she doesn't want him to leave either, but that this is the choice that they are making for Rory's sake), making me feel like he is making this choice out of duty, out of fear and not because he wants to. He finally accepted that the choices he makes are his and his only, and the final choice in the show was made for him instead by him - I really don't think that the character deserved this. Lucifer gave Rory his word and we know he always goes by his word - they have turned one of the most essential qualities of his character into a plot device and an instrument that caused pain. Additionally, since Rory asked him not to change anything, it was implied that Lucifer can't come back to Earth in order not to risk changing anything even though it is completely possible for him to balance his work hours in Hell and his family time on Earth, like Amenadiel did. I also found this completely unfair and it felt like Lucifer was "banished" to Hell, not only missing out on being with Chloe and watching Rory grow up, but also staying away from his friends and the life he had built for himself. However, on the brighter side, Lucifer doing this - something he doesn't completely understand, something he doesn't want to do - is incredibly selfless of him and only shows how much he has grown. A character who has been described as selfish and self-serving from the very beginning does something so ultimately selfless, something that doesn't serve him in any way - quite the opposite, it pains him. As I said, I don't necessarily mind how things played out, I mind the lack of guarantee that they had to be this way. The only thing we don't know is if Lucifer and Chloe were in contact over the years since Chloe could have kept in touch with him behind Rory's back - maybe she sent him pictures of Rory, and maybe they exchanged letters. I am very doubtful because this would probably make the whole situation harder on them nor do I think that they would risk it because they wouldn't be able to know if their actions are breaking the time loop or if they are a part of the original timeline but hey, this is the stuff that fan fictions are made of!

And finally, I very much disliked the parallel between Lucifer and God - Lucifer abandoning his child for the sake of doing his job and that child growing up resenting him - if it was their intention to draw such a parallel. I think that God somewhat "redeemed" himself in Lucifer's eyes and that through accepting himself Lucifer also learned how to stop resenting his father for the things that transpired between them, and I don't necessarily believe that Lucifer had to walk in his father's shoes to understand him. So, in my opinion, this was completely unnecessary. Something I did like was Lucifer's calling - I think that it shows nicely the full circle he has made and that the souls he thought he is supposed to torture he is now helping heal. In a way, Hell is also the reflection of who Lucifer is - when he saw himself as broken, as evil, as unworthy and undeserving, Hell was also a place of torture - it was a reflection of him. And now that he accepted himself and that others have accepted him for who he is as well, it is a place of healing. In the end, Hell is his kingdom and he can choose to rule it the way he wants to. He broke his own hell loop and he truly became a lightbringer.

And, of course, Lucifer and Chloe (they are so soft and I am so soft for them). Taking into consideration my very bad OTP track reckord, I kinda expected a much, much worse ending for them - I mean, the Devil falling in love with a human, what could possibly go wrong, right? I knew from the very beginning that they aren't getting a pure, wholeseome, family-like ending. In order for that to happen, she would either have to become immortal (leaving Trixie, losing her detective identity), or he would have to become mortal - both of these scenarios feel cheap and I never would have wanted this for them or the show. Another option was to give them their happy life on Earth but then they would either have to leave a somewhat open ending or deal with the fact that ultimately, as a mortal, Chloe will die. And if they were given their happy ending on Earth, who knows if they would end up together in afterlife. Even if they did, it definitely wouldn't feel as emotional and as gratifying as it does now. The thing is, it is easy to give in to the pain of their separation when we measure it by the pivotal moments of happiness and loss that drive the lives of humans - him not being there when Rory was born or when she grew wings or when she started school - and it is even harder when you know how much she needed him and how much he wanted to be there for her. It is even more painful when you think about Chloe spending her entire lifetime without him, carrying all that pain inside of her, and him spending what had to be centuries alone in Hell. However, this is a fantasy show and many of our characters are immortal, celestial beings who have a different understanding of time, so maybe the idea of what a happy ending is and the rules for measuring happiness aren't the same as they would have been under other circumstances. Chloe became lieutenant and tried to make a difference, and she got to raise her daughters and see them grow up, and Lucifer helped so many souls heal, doing so much good. And now they get to spend the eternity together, solving crimes and kicking ass in the afterlife! Many of their friends and family are immortal, celestial beings too and (I am pretty sure) they can pay a visit to their human friends in Heaven... or see them in Hell, but let's hope not! In the end, what is one lifetime compared to eternity? Of course, none of this makes for the time they have lost, the momories they didn't get to make and the moments he wasn't there for, but now there are so many new memories they will get to make and so many moments to catch up on. It is bittersweet, but I think that's how it was supposed to be - in the end, pain is part of life.

I also have a few (dis)honourable mentions:

1. I am really sad and disappointed Lucifer didn't get to say goodbye to Trixie. She was gone for the majority of the season, but she was also a very important person in his life and he loved her. And we know how much she loved him.

2. I can't get over Rory travelling through time to kill her father because she is angry at him... sis, you kill him before he makes you, you wipe yourself out of existence.

3. I can't believe that they were surprised that Chloe got pregnant after having loads of superhuman sex (without any protection, apparently) after another human already got pregnant with an angel not that long ago.

4. Lucifer saying goodbye to Maze will forever remain one of the most beautiful scenes in the show.

5. The final major scene between Chloe and Lucifer, where they say goodbye before he leaves for hell, lives in my head rent free. I was choking on tears watching that scene, I literally had to pause and rewind three times. Such a beautiful(ly painful) scene. Also, when you have a ship and a person A says to the person B "close your eyes", pain is coming. I swear I travelled back to 1999 when Buffy said the same thing to Angel before sending him to a hell dimension.

6. When Chloe dies and goes to Heaven and Amenadiel greets her and asks her if she's ready to go home and then takes her to Lucifer was so pure. Her Heaven is being in Hell with Lucifer and there's something deeply poetic about that.

7. Hearing hello detective for the last time cleared my skin.

I have really and truly enjoyed the show, and the minor inconsistencies I see in its ending can't change that. I loved the show because it told stories about people and it allowed them to drive the narrative, and I can't say many shows these days do that.

#lucifer #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #deckerstar #trixie espinoza #rory morningstar #aurora morningstar #amenadiel #ella lopez #linda martin #mazikeen smith #text #rant #writing #reaction #review #tv review #lucifans #lucifer finale

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starks-hero · 3 years

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The Right One

Pairing: Sherlock x Reader

Summary: Sherlock's previous experiences with love left a few cracks. But you're more than happy to help mend them.

Word Count: 1,332

Warnings: None really, some mentions of bad past experiences

It's funny how simple little things can stick in a person's mind for so long. How one small event can change their perception of so much.

This was the case when it came to Sherlock, specifically his interest in a romantic partner. Holmes always found it easier to act as though he found such things trivial, that the idea of a relationship was completely unappealing to him.

But truth be told, that wasn't really the case. Sherlock wasn't repelled by the idea of a girlfriend, or a boyfriend for that matter. If anything, he found the whole concept rather interesting. From observing his parents as a child to seeing John with Mary, Sherlock found love fascinating in its complexity.

But any spark or willingness to take the leap and grow close enough to someone to explore such a relationship had been swiftly stomped out by them.

He had been sixteen when he met the first. He was young and as carefree as he was ever going to be in his life. She had been a family friend and attended the same school as him, which meant there was practically no way Sherlock could avoid her. At first, he disliked her. He didn't understand why she took it personally. He disliked everyone at that point.

But gradually, he found that he enjoyed being around her. Or rather, he enjoyed the way she made him feel. Through his teen years, any and all attention Sherlock received from his peers was entirely negative. He was the freak, the know it all.

But not to her. To her, he was fascinating, intelligent, brilliant. And Sherlock loved it. He thrived on it. Before long it was an obsession, an addiction.

Which, of course, made it all the more painful when the truth came out. Getting close to the freak Holmes brother had earned her twenty pounds from each of her classmates, and thought Sherlock a valuable lesson.

He should have known that anyone willing to take such an interest in him was simply doing it for their own gain. The relationship he'd just begun to open his heart to turned out to be nothing more than a practical joke with his own heartbreak serving as the punchline.

He swore after that he'd never make the same mistake. However, attempting to cage one's own heart is a dangerous task. And as to be expected, it didn't remain locked away for all that long.

The day Irene Adler waltzed into his life, Sherlock's heart began to pull at the bars of its confinement. Not in a wild frenzy of love, or desperately out of lust. More so out of curiosity.

She cared, in a strange sort of way. She found him interesting. And though her constant advances did little good in seducing the detective, he couldn't ignore the growing feeling of being wanted again that was steadily expanding inside of him. The feeling of being appealing, being desired. It was intoxicating, but it wasn't love. And Sherlock firmly reminded himself of that fact. He recalled what happened last time and knew Irene was no different.

Sherlock couldn't really say much when it came to Jeannine. He had lied, manipulated and used her simply to further his grasp on a case. It was cruel, even by his standards. So when he found out Jeannine had played him the same way he had played her, he was amused, but beneath that, a part of him was disappointed. He may even go as far as saying upset.

He didn't blame Jeannie, of course, but knowing that once again, he was only found interesting for the rewards others could reap from him came as a painful reminder. It opened up old wounds that Sherlock was beginning to doubt would ever scar over.

Experiment after experiment. Test after test. A variety of different variables and yet the result was always the same. Sherlock had all the proof he needed to conclude that love was dangerous, foolish and unnecessary. It was a chemical disadvantage. He also concluded that he was the root of the problem.

But then there was you.

You stumbled into Sherlock's life completely unexpectedly and at that time, Sherlock was oblivious as to just how much you'd grow to mean to him. It started gradually. Sherlock's general disliking for people seemed to diminish when it came to you and he even found himself enjoying your company. He absentmindedly smiled when you spoke, made a habit of standing unnecessarily close and attempted to impress you whenever the opportunity presented itself, something John seldom let him forget.

To put it in simpler terms, Sherlock Holmes was absolutely smitten. He just hadn't realized it yet. The way you made him feel, the severity of the emotions he experienced because of you, there was no high that could achieve anything like it. The wonderful feeling of being wanted had returned.

Sherlock adored you, in every sense of the word.

However, when he realized what these feelings indicated, Sherlock struggled to contain his fear. He distanced himself from you before you could do it to him. He had been hurt before and survived. But he wasn't sure he could manage suffering through that emotional torment again, especially if it was at your hands.

This didn't go unnoticed. As ever vigilant as Sherlock was, his greatest downfall was his obliviousness to what was standing right in front of him. Had Sherlock not spent so much time trying to get you to like him, he probably would have noticed that you already did.

In fact, you were absolutely infatuated with him. And everyone knew. John knew, Molly knew, Lestrade knew. Donovan, Anderson and everyone at the Yard knew. Everyone but Sherlock. When he did start to withdraw from you, you figured it was now or never.

But for each step you took forward, Sherlock took two back. At first, you thought it was out of disinterest, that you had misread the entire situation and this was Sherlock's attempt at a wordless rejection. But you soon learned that was not the case.

Sherlock's behaviour did not come from a place of resentment, but rather a place of fear. Now that you'd figured it out, you were shocked you'd never seen it before. Sherlock had been broken. Scars lined his heart and he wasn't prepared to give anyone the power to hurt him like that again.

So, that's what you decided you'd show him. That he didn't have to be afraid, that you would never hurt him and that, with time, the scars would fade.

At first, Sherlock resembled a skittish deer, racing off at the first sign of affection. It was hard work, but then again, everything was hard work with Sherlock. You didn't so much as ‘dance around each other’ as you did helplessly stumble and fall at each other's feet; like two love struck teens experiencing love for the first time.

You let him come to you. And with time he did. Bit by bit, step by step, until you both met in the middle. It took a long time, but it couldn't have been more worth it in the end.

Sherlock changed once you started dating. He was a little less cold, a little less out of tune. He didn't see the world through rose-tinted glasses by any means, but everything did seem that bit brighter.

The insecurity was still there. The fear that he was being used, that he was disposable. It’s not the kind of thing that can be completely loved away after all. But with each soft touch, each kiss, each compliment, each simple yet genuine display of love and affection, the insecurities lessened and the feeling of contentment grew.

And the day he first heard you mutter those three simple words with full confidence, the scars on his heart faded ever so slightly, and he allowed himself to start healing.

Because you loved him, and slowly Sherlock was learning to love you too.

~~~~~~

Forever tag list: @miraclesoflove @bakerstreethound @Kealohilani-tepise

Sherlock tag list: @fanfictionsilove @quentawewe @andreasworlsboring101 @doozywoozy @the-worst-critic @starrykitn @the-queer-dungeoneer @xxvisiblexx @Xhz17x @Jellyfishbeansontoast

#bbc sherlock x reader #sherlock x reader #Sherlock Holmes x Reader #sherlock x you #sherlock x y/n #sherlock holmes x you #Sherlock Holmes fanfiction #Sherlock Holmes #bbc sherlock fic #sherlock fanfiction #bbc sherlock imagine #sherlock imagine

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pekotranslates · 3 years

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Traces of Two Pasts: Episode Tifa - pgs 40-52

Disclaimer: Also, I started this for fun so that my friends who don't have access can read it. I'm just another fan like you. With that said, I do try to be as faithful to the original source material as possible, and for those of you who can read Japanese, please support the author by buying his book.

Not everyone agreed with Chief Zonder's decision. The elderly—a major force in the village—began to make noise. They seemed to take a liking to Zangan's longevity exercises, and regretted not being able to memorize what was taught to them. They wanted someone to check if their poses were correct, and wished to learn the remaining exercises he was supposed to have taught them.

The village chief paid a visit at dinnertime.

"Hey, Tifa..." he said with a sullen expression. "Will you teach the old folks how to do Zangan's exercises properly?"

"Why Tifa?" her father asked. She just knew he would ask.

"Because Zangan named her. Told me that if we ever needed someone to mentor us, Tifa would be qualified. Said that she had the most controlled form* out of everyone who gathered there that day.

Kata, which means “form” in Japanese, is the term used to describe specific sequences of motion that are used to practice technique and execution in martial arts

It pleased her knowing that someone spoke of her like that when not in her presence, but it also caused her to be slightly embarrassed.

"Zonder, don't get my family involved."

"Aw, c'mon! I'm already in big trouble as it is. The old folks just won't let it go!"

"Hmph!" Brian Lockhart snorted. He enjoyed seeing the village chief squirm. She couldn't tell whether or not they actually got along with each other.

"Tifa, what do you think?"

"I'd just be teaching the elderly people those exercises, right? If that's all there is, then I'd like to try."

"Tifa..." her father began, but he swallowed back his complaint. He knew that it wasn't good for her to have too much time on her hands. "Well, if you're gonna do it, then do it right."

While preparing breakfast, Tifa heard a knock at the door, and opened to a woman’s face she barely recognized. It was an elderly woman called "Mon Amie" who was an aunt of sorts to Chief Zonder. Her hair was pulled back into a bun so tight that it looked like her eyes were being pulled straight up!

"Good morning to you. It's been a long time, Tifa. I heard that Zonder told you all about it. How about 2 gil per hour?"

"Sorry?" She had not heard about any renumeration.

"Well, you are thirteen now. Not a little girl anymore, so that doesn't cut it for you, eh? Alright then, how about 4 gil?"

"No, I don't want any money."

"That won't do. We are taking this very seriously, and you will be properly paid for your work."

No matter how much Zangan trusted her, would she really be up to the task? But, being able to earn her own money sounded very appealing, as if a whole new world had opened up to her.

Mon Amie took Tifa's silence as her wanting to bargain for higher wages.

"6 gil."

"Alright. 6 gil it is then."

"Brian never did leave the village. He wanted to keep Thea all to himself." Mon Amie suddenly brought up her parents during their exercise routine at the public square.

"Really?" said Tifa, adjusting Mon Amie's arm posture. She needed to get her to straighten her back and push out her chest a bit more for the desired result.

"She was quite the popular one, that child."

It wasn’t very pleasant hearing her mother being called "that child", yet Tifa encouraged her. Listening to the elderly tell old stories was a part of her job. The responsibility she felt from receiving wages tempered her patience.

"You should leave the village," said Mon Amie suddenly. "Doesn't it sound like fun going around to different places with Master Zangan?"

"It sure does."

"Alright, you don't have to play along with me. No need for you to learn things like that. Just think about it carefully, okay? Something needs to change for women here in Nibelheim."

Tifa silently nodded as she propped up Mon Amie's arm.

"There weren't any women around in my day who held this kind of thinking. But that Strife girl”—she was speaking of Cloud's mother—"tried to leave. Not sure if it's because she hated it here, or if she dreamed of going to the big city."

Mon Amie abruptly altered her pose, ruining her base form.

"To the traditional Nibelheim women, she seemed pretty unconventional. We all refused to accept her ways, but secretly felt the same. Even though we scolded her, deep down inside we were cheering her on. We even felt jealous of her for carving out her own path. Perhaps she changed something in us, little by little.”

Tifa lifted up Mon Amie's knee. "Up high like this. Thank you."

She supported Mon Amie as the woman’s body rocked back and forth.

"But Claudia remained in the village, didn't she?" said Tifa.

"Well, that’s because she fell in love. You see, a man traveled here. Claudia was helping out at the inn at the time. She must have been taken in by the outside air he brought with him. And he was a pretty fellow. I’m sure you see it when you look at Cloud. That boy got the best of both his parents!”

“Right…”

“But, just like the wind, he just couldn’t keep still. Not sure if Cloud learned how to walk yet, but around that time he told her he would go to the mountains, but never came back. They found his belongings though. His body probably got eaten by monsters. You were lucky you didn’t meet the same fate.”

Tifa braced herself. Was she going to bring up that incident?

“Cloud egging you on to climb Mt. Nibel… Maybe that was in his blood.”

Mon Amie’s body began to sway. Tifa had stopped holding onto her causing her to lose her balance. She couldn’t regain her footing in time, and fell flat down on her backside.

“Alright then," said Tifa. "Now let’s use the opposite leg. Please lift up your knee.”

Tifa held out a helping hand to her, but Mon Amie refused and got up on her own.

“Quite strict for a pretty face.”

“That’s because I get paid 6 gil to be.”

Before long, she became more attentive. She noticed Mon Amie lifting up her other knee, but it was at the wrong height again. While Tifa helped her to adjust, Mon Amie said, “You really don’t remember anything? You know, about that accident you got into?”

She was eight years old when she got into that accident on Mt. Nibel. Cloud was with her. The villagers chose to believe the story based on Emilio and the others’ testimonies, and nothing else could be said about it. Tifa really couldn't remember what happened.

"No, unfortunately not..."

Whether the elderly came to her for exercising or just to chat, it was tougher than she had imagined. Her father laughed at her and said he wouldn't have anything to do with them, even for 100 gil.

They never listened and were set in their ways, even the ones who kept away and smiled modestly at her. They just had a different view on things, and sulked if nobody paid them attention.

The topics they discussed also surprised Tifa, and sometimes hurt her too. She disliked whenever they brought up how her body looked so grown. There would be someone who sensed her discomfort or resentment, and would try to change the subject, but then it would turn into whom she should be with and things of that nature.

So, all things considered, Tifa preferred hearing them going on about herself rather than her father’s failed romances, or whom her mother used to hang out with before she got married to him. To the elderly townsfolk, her father and others his age were still “the village youth”.

After her day finished and she was about to go to sleep, she thought to herself that maybe there would be a time when she would be the one telling someone else about what happened today, or about some news she heard from another person. Telling the same stories over and over again, everyday just like the next, until she, herself, became just a relic of an era in village history.

※

“They confused me at first, but I got used to being around them, and then it wasn’t so bad anymore. That feeling of wanting someone to talk to—Everyone has that,” explained Tifa.

“So that’s where you learned to entertain guests? From spending your time talking to old folks?” asked Barret.

“Possibly. Maybe that did me good. More and more of the elderly signed up, and they started calling their morning gatherings the ‘Calisthenics Club’.”

“It’s like that at Seventh Heaven too,” said Barret with some intensity.

Aerith urged him to talk.

“It used to be just a small shop owned by this one gramps, but when Tifa started working there, the business picked up. Men crowded the place. Know what I mean, Red?”

“What I’m more interested in is what happened to Zangan afterward? I can sort of imagine based on your fighting style, Tifa...” said Red XIII.

“You’re right. There was a little more that happened before I got to where I'm at.”

※

A month passed after the start of the Calisthenics Club. All morning Tifa would teach the exercises and set aside time for her reading and arithmetic. The afternoon she'd go to the mountains and work hard towards building up her strength and stamina, and then would return home before sunset so her father wouldn’t worry. At night she would examine Zangan's writings and practice her form, reviewing the materials over and over again so as to not overlook anything.

One day, she received a letter from Emilio. He wrote about the fast-paced lifestyle in the big city, and told her about everything he found perplexing: arguments he had had with people, things he ate, the social inequality, and their differences in moral values.

“But whenever I get discouraged, it’s you I think about, Tifa, and then I imagine that day when I’ll come and get you. I'll write to you sometimes and teach you about the city, so you won't be so confused when that time comes.”

Who do you think you are? That's how she honestly felt reading the letter.

Zangan appeared, acting as if nothing had happened. He knocked on the door just in time to greet her father and asked for his permission to call Tifa out, and then led her to the river where they first met.

“Master Zangan, please let me be your student. I want to be stronger.”

“That’s exactly the answer I was looking for, but what’s the matter, Tifa? I sense your impatience. Why are you in such a hurry?”

“That’s not it!” she replied, but felt self-conscious. “No… It’s because I got that letter from my friend.”

“What kind of letter?”

“I think it’s because I don’t want to lose. I don’t want to lose to anyone who left the village.”

“Hmm. My hand-to-hand combat techniques are not meant to be used to make you feel superior to others.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. But the answer to that can only be found through diligent study. All right. I will acknowledge you if you pass my test.”

“Test?”

“Show me everything you’ve learned from Volume 1. You’ve been practicing, haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

Tifa performed a sequence of forms from the physical training method.

“One more time, from the beginning.”

“Okay.”

This time Zangan interrupted with instructions.

"Check the book to see the direction your palms should be facing."

Tifa crouched down over the book and flipped through the pages. The form was wrong from the very start. Should have been above not below.

“I was wrong.”

“Try again.”

When she extended both hands and slightly shifted the direction of her palms, she felt a different set of muscles tingling.

“Everything from the Book of Secrets must be obeyed. Don’t try to interpret it another way or decide that your way is better. While disciplining your body, you must learn to be faithful to your decisions. If I take you in as my student, you will become stronger. So, you must cultivate your mind to control that power. The greater and stronger the power to handle, the greater the responsibility of its owner. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

The second time around, Zangan pointed out any minor mistakes she made. Each time she would have to go back and confirm with the Book of Secrets before advancing, which made things take twice as long. Fatigue built up in her arms and legs.

“Alright, now relax and close your eyes. Focus your attention and check the condition of your body. Does it hurt anywhere?”

“My upper back… I wouldn’t say it hurts but it feels like it’s burning...”

She slipped her right hand underneath her left armpit until it touched the lower part of her shoulder blade. Digging her fingers into it felt good.

“Hmph!” Zangan gave a satisfying nod. “That’s your shoulder blade. What you’re pressing into is the trapezius muscle. Surrounding it is your deltoid, infraspinatus, psoas minor and other muscles. The second volume will teach you how to train each one of those muscles on your back,” he said, while holding out a booklet to her. It was Volume 2.

“If you want to live your life with pride then pay close attention to your back. Squeeze your shoulder blades together, chest out. Walking through life with a beautiful posture is also part of your training.”

“Got it.”

“Let’s get started. Well then, onto Volume 2, No. 2-1-1, scapular push-ups.”

Zangan immediately prostrated himself on the ground, and lowered his chest. Tifa hastened to follow his example.

“All you're doing is supporting your whole body with your arms. Concentrate on your shoulder blades. Rotate them outwards—protract, retract, protract.”

It was her first time experiencing those movements. How was she supposed to move to protract her shoulder blades? She couldn’t picture it in her mind. Glancing over at Zangan she noticed he was rotating his shoulders outward, something her cat, Maru, often did.

“You look like a cat,” she said.

“Right. There’s a lot we can learn from cats.”

She focused her attention on her scapula, going up and down, until the repetition of movements were drilled into her body. Zangan rose and watched over Tifa for some time before clearing his throat.

“Good!”

The movements were subtle but still made her perspire.

“That’s because the muscles across your back are wider. Moving them increases the blood flow and raises your temperature, so that’s why you’re working up a sweat.”

After completing Volume 2, Tifa was sweating profusely. She felt unthinkable pain throughout her whole back.

“Alright, any questions? If you do, now’s your chance.”

She wanted to say, yes, but nothing came to mind at the moment.

“If not, then we’ll move onto Volume 3.”

“Huh?” she couldn’t help but shout. Her whole body was screaming in pain. Zangan ignored her and continued.

“Volume 3 is for chest and abs. We’re going to train your front body. The pectoralis major muscle is roughly divided into three parts: upper, middle and lower. There are several different ways to effectively train it, but I’ll teach you the basic concepts.”

“Alright…”

“At your age, your overall motor skills are complete, and in that regard, you excel. You haven’t had any special training, have you? If so, then you must have been born with this. Treasure it.”

“I will.”

She felt energy pour into her body. Perhaps listening to Zangan talk with a relaxed mind helped her to recover from fatigue.

“After a while, we’ll concentrate on building your muscles. But you will not be using any equipment except your body. We won’t be using barbells or dumbbells until you’re much older. Besides, our Zangan-ryu hardly finds them necessary. That is because I prescribe individual fighting styles that suit each of my students. You don’t need arms built like logs or a bulky chest. What you need is to build up a fighting style that will utilize those reflexes, that body, and your speed. Well, what do you want to do? Shall we call it a day?”

“No. Please go on.”

She didn’t want to disappoint the first person who had managed to earn her respect.

“Yes, that’s the spirit! Alright. But we’ll stop here for today. Let’s call this current level of fatigue your limit. Keep it in mind. You have a long way before you can try to challenge that limit to surpass it. Continuity is more important now than ever.”

On their way back, a realization came over Tifa regarding Zangan’s test. It didn't annoy her. If her father tried to make her work like that she’d probably stop talking to him for three days in a row. With those thoughts in mind, she walked her teacher back to the inn.

“Say hello to your father for me.”

As she stood in front of her house she could smell the scent of spices in the air. Spices that her mother liked to use in her best recipe. It was her father’s favorite dish, but since Tifa didn’t really like it, it was hardly ever served at the dining table.

She opened the door and said, “I’m home.”

“Welcome back.” Her father, dressed in an apron, peeked out at her from the kitchen.

“This smell… Huh? Is it mom’s?”

“I was really craving it... Oh, but I made something else for you.”

She was filled with remorse. She didn’t like the way he looked or the tone of voice he used when trying to gauge her mood, but it was all her fault for making it that way.

Novel by Kazushige Nojima

Translated by pekotranslates

Proofread by Eerie

#ffvii #ff7r #tifa lockhart #traces of two pasts #aerith gainsborough

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rainofaugustsith · 3 years

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SWTOR: It's. About. Story.

After weeks of complaints about the new Galactic Seasons program, the devs posted a response today. Unfortunately they managed to neatly sidestep almost all of the complaints players have been making en masse:

1. The PVE objectives funnel a lot of players into areas where the instances are too large for the map to accommodate, such as 30 players on CZ-198. It's thus making those areas miserable to play, and woe to anyone actually trying to complete story (such as Rishi and Yavin 4).

Solutions to this issue would be a) lower the number of players in each instance; b) distribute the objectives more broadly so players don't all converge on a few specific areas. EA/BW said nothing about the former and doubled down on making the objectives narrow for the latter, at least for the first season of GS.

2. The "RNG" for objectives is very heavily skewed toward PVP and GSF, which are activities many players dislike and do not want to do. It's not uncommon to have both GSF and Warzones come up as the day's POs, and there's only one re-roll.

3. Re-rolling any objective often results in GSF or PVP coming up again. There's only one, so that often means a player cannot complete their PO (s) for the day.

As solutions to #2 and #3, players have been asking for a) more re-rolls; b) a way to toggle mission preference between PVE, solo PVE and PVP objectives so they avoid the ones they hate and won't do.

4. There are no solo weekly POs.

It seems as though EA/BW is making a conscious effort to ignore all the feedback on what many players actually want from the game and the issues they've expressed both on the PTS and live, to try to push the play styles they - and a small clique of fans - personally favor. It feels to me that they are trying to force the game and the player base to be something they're not.

SWTOR was marketed as a story based game. Its core demographic comes largely from two single-player, story-based games: KOTOR and KOTOR II. When it was released it was praised for the richness of its storytelling, and the strength of its voiceover artists.

Not PVP.

Not raids.

Not GSF.

Story. Good, substantial story.

The writing on the wall is there with other EA/BW games, too. The next Dragon Age was changed from a MMO to a single-player game. Anthem, a game involving group play, failed. Fallen Order, a single-player story based game, did well.

Mass Effect and Dragon Age are a decade old. KOTOR is an older game, too. People still play them, and want more of them, because of the story.

Of course, EA/BW would love it if the SWTOR playerbase en masse learned to love PVPing and GSF. It's low-cost content for them. They don't have to do much; just provide the maps and let players kill each other. But that isn't why people play this game, overall. There are far better games for PVP, first-person shooters and space battles, if that is what one actually wants. Heck, there's an entire space battle Star Wars game, Battlefront II, if that is what one wants.

In SWTOR, it's about the story. It's about the characters.

Sometimes I feel like there are devs at EA/BW who are trying to do this with the resources they have, and I'm grateful for that effort. The swoop rally had short storylines and characters to talk with. Echoes of Oblivion brought us the best writing since KOTFE. They had a Mandalorian themed flashpoint that brought in a storyline for non-Force users. None of it was IMPS VS PUBS 4EVA!!! which was great. Even the Secrets of the Enclave was pretty good. While I dread what it may be setting up, and it's back to the IMPS VS PUBS 4EVA!!! treadmill which is boring and tedious as fuck, it was designed well and had some really excellent moments.

But...Spirit of Vengeance was designed initially at a level much more tedious, and requiring better gear, than usual story/solo flashpoints. GSF objectives get way more conquest points that anything else. Some mats are only available through ranked PVP or NiM Ops. And now, Galactic Seasons, which could have been brilliant but seems to be garnering more resentment, anger and lost subscriptions than anything else.

When is there engagement and interest in SWTOR? When does one see more people posting on the official forums? When do the planets seem busier? When there's new story or event that can be soloed.

What do people constantly ask for? New stories, new engagement with companions, new strongholds, new world building.

It's interesting that EA/BW never has to beg or bribe people to play the story. Players do it because they want to. Even KOTFE/KOTET, which are not super popular, do not require player bribes. The only story content people seem to avoid or revile en masse are the walker missions; Oricon, which needs two ops to be completed; and Makeb, which tellingly has no characters with which the player can bond and engage long-term.

The class stories? Still being played. I've been through the Sith Warrior story four times, with several clones at various points in the class story working their way through. I've been through the Sith Inquisitor story three times, again, with more clones coming up. Bounty Hunter? Three times, so far.. Smuggler? Twice, so far. Imperial Agent? Twice. I've repeated every class story at least once, and I still keep coming back to do the class stories and planetary stories and side quests, because they are good. Because I like the characters I meet. Because the planets are engaging.

Shadow of Revan? Still being played.

I still see people on Ilum. I see people on Onderon and Ossus. Even Zakuul and Iokath. The story content gets played, and played again. One of the things people have requested again and again, in fact, is a way to repeat the story content.

Voiceover artists are expensive, especially when three languages are being recorded, but players have offered ways to add engagement with companions without speech, such as emails from them. Silent missions. You don't need to have a voiceover artist to animate a short scene of Lana Beniko or Theron Shan dancing on the beach with a PC they've romanced. Even if they cannot keep up every romance, if they just kept up with Lana and Theron it would make players happy. Add in, let's say, four or six selected from the class stories - let's say Scourge, Kira, Quinn, Jorgan, Vette, Risha - and a lot of people would be overjoyed. Four men, four women; equal number from each faction + KOTFE. That does leave an uneven number of mlm/wlw possibilities but there are two of each, as well. And those companions can certainly have platonic friendly conversations with the PC, too. I personally really miss Vette, Talos, Xalek, Blizz, Ashara and Jaesa being in my story. And many others, too.

The things being offered by GS are things that story players enjoy - decos, new strongholds, companions with side story missions - and this makes it even more frustrating that story players are being expected to PVP, GSF and use Group Finder, unless they want to buy their way through, to get them. Don't get me wrong - the fact that it's all optional makes me less angry at EA/BW than Iokath and Oricon did, by a long shot. All the same, it's a shame they're setting it up this way, because if they gave story/solo players objectives that were not PVP and group based, I think they'd be seeing a lot more excitement and engagement right about now.

Right now, it seems EA/BW is far more interested in catering to a smaller player group who enjoys side content that the rest of the player base has to be actively bribed and coerced to play. Should PVP and GSF get development? Sure, if people enjoy it. Should the game try to funnel the rest of us into it? No. The fact that players don't want to be there, and have expressed that sentiment again and again, and constantly need to be bribed and coerced into it, should be a wakeup call. But EA/BW is still sleeping and hitting the snooze button.

SWTOR is a story-based game. Raids, PVP, GSF are all wonderful for those who enjoy them but they are not for everyone. Players in a story based game need story.

#swtor #rain talks swtor #swtor critical #ea/bw critical #galactic seasons critical

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nataliaphantomhivesblog · 3 years

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In the end of it all, Monaca Towa was still a child.

To start this off, this isn't my usual Black Butler posts but ive been meaning to talk about Danganronpa for a hot minute, so please bear with me! Second, this is solely my opinion and before anyone wants to attack me please read thoroughly first. Thank you:)

(Spoiler warning for Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls and Danganronpa 3)

Also, before we dive in I'm going to list some trigger warnings:

Physcological abuse

Physical abuse

Manipulation

P*dophillia

Suicide attempt

Violence (?)

Childhood trauma

Please take care and read at your own risk<3

Hello there Danganronpa fandom! Today I will be talking about Monaca Towa (as stated in the title) and how people often minimize her trauma and sometimes forget the fact that shes still a child who got heavily manipulated by Junko too.

Monaca is seemingly very amiable and caring, because of her charming personality, all of the Warriors of Hope love her and try their best to keep her happy and go along with what she wants. However, it's slowly revealed that she is actually manipulative and cunning behind her friendly facade.

Monoca is a character that is cruel, manipulative, and extremly unhinged. Many of her actions cannot be excused or justified, but you can understand where she's coming from.

Monaca's Backstory:

She was born an unwanted child by both her father and her mother. Monaca's mother was supposed to take care of her but instead abandoned the child soon after her birth. Because of all her actions, Monaca saw her mother as a completely selfish and pathetic person. Monaca's father thought of giving her to an orphanage but instead took her into his family.

However, Monaca was always unwanted and everyone else felt uncomfortable around her. Every time Monaca smiled or joked, the others looked at her coldly, as if she didn't deserve to laugh. Every time she spoke, the others turned silent. His older-half brother thought of her as an alien, not part of the family.

She was also physically abused to the point that she pretended to be seriously wounded for them to stop as a result.

Monaca also attended Hope's Peak Elementary School and was part of the "trouble-makers class" along with Nagisa, Masaru, Jataro, and Kotoko.

Along with her fellow abused classmates, she planned a group suicide; however, Monaca never had any plans to commit suicide in the first place and was planning to let the others die as a prank.

The group suicide was stopped by Junko, who took the kids in and manipulated them by treating them with kindness and love.

Monaca then helped Junko mass produce Monokumas for the Tragedy by using her position as a representative of the Towa Group.

She lied to her father and the other adults in order to produce the Monokumas, telling them that she wanted to create futuristic robots that could be domestic helpers and emergency aid workers.

Due to her separation from the family and her genius, her family decided to give her leg room to do what she wanted as long as she brought in profits to the company, and didn't delve too deeply into her plans.

Things to keep in mind about Monoca's backstory:

She was emotionally and physically abused from a very young age.

She started to pretend to be paraplegic because she was finally treated with some kindness and she could have more control over people.

She convinced Nagisa, Jataro, Kotoko and Masaru to commit suicide.

Out of all the Warriros of Hope, Junko took the most intrest in Monoca due to her position, meaning that she was the one who got used and manipulated the most.

How Monoca's mindset works:

The moment she got physically abused to the point that she had to fake her injuries to make her family feel bad was the moment she learned that through sympathy from others comes power. Due to her families neglection and abuse, she started to quickly pick up on things in which benefited her yet hurt others.

She started to use manipulative tactics on her family to gain control over them. She then started implicating these tactics with the Warriors of Hope.

When Junko got into the picture, everything changed for the worst. Junko was the only person in Monaca's life who showed her affection. Even though deep down Monaca knew Junko only cared for her as a means to use her robotics genius for the Tragedy, Monaca didn't care, and happily helped out Junko with her plans if it meant being loved and appreciated in return. At the heart of it, despite all her horrific acts, that's a very child-like thing to do, right? So when Junko dies, Monaca's entire reason for living basically disappears.

AI Junko via Kurokuma may have planted the idea of a successor in her head, but in Monaca's mind it's a way to get her big sis back, and very specifically chooses to mold Komaru into becoming Junko's successor. That's for a big reason, Monaca doesn't want to become Junko, I'd say she actually just wanted her big sister back who would love and appreciate her again, and hence tried to make someone else take on that role initially. Once again, that's the mindset of a child.

Monaca's relationship with the Warriors of Hope:

The Warriors of Hope are a group of children who are extremely resentful and hateful of adults, regardless of whether or not they were involved in their rough paths.

We all know that the Warriros of Hope are extememly tramutized kids. Masaru had alcoholic parents who physically abused him, Jataro was physcologically abused to the point he bealived he was so ugly that if anyone saw his "repulsive" face they would die, Kotoko was r*ped multiple times by disgusting p*dophilic men (not to mention, Monaca's brother was attracted to her), and last but not least we have Nagisa who had pressuring parents who wanted to raise him as the child prodigy and expirimented on him constantly.

Monaca used the Warriros of Hope's trauma against them, manipulating them to the point were they had to do her bidding completly.

As much as I hate to say it, Monaca truly saw them as pawns. Although there are some instances where she openly declares her care for the Warriors of Hope, it's likely she does that as a form of emotional manipulation.

If anything, she probably did see them as equal in the beginning but then when she started to gain control over her own family, she started to do the same with the Warriors of Hope as a way to protect herself from getting hurt, then again this is my baseless assumption.

Her dynamic with Nagito:

Monaca was amused by Nagito's strange behavior and contradicting beliefs and appeared to be somewhat annoyed with him at the times. However, the two appeared to at least seemingly respect each other in some way, as they treated each other somewhat formally as allies.

Her dynamic with Nagito is one of the most intresting ones. Obviously I think that her being rasied by Nagito was potentially a dangerous thing, considering Nagito's goal was for Monaca to become Enoshima's successor. Monaca seemed to agree with this goal, but Nagito's constant rambling about hope and despair made Monaca bored and feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

She claims he made her an adult in a way, as she grew up in the mental sense and became more cynical and apathetic, not really caring about anything.

In the end, Monaca found Nagito creepy and annoying, but she also appeared to get closer to him during their time together, while originally calling him just "Mister Servant" in UDG, she later refers to him as "Big Bro" in Danganronpa 3. I do think their dynamic was sort of soft and I would've loved to have seen more of it. Honestly the concept of Nagito being a soft brother to Monaca warms my heart, and the wasted potential will forever anger me.

(If any Danganronpa fanfic writer or any writer in general is reading this post: if u could be so kind and do a PLATONIC Nagito and Monaca prompt and tag me in it, I would love you forever!!)

My opinion on Monaca:

I think that Monaca was a very well-written character who deserved more than what she got in the end of Danganronpa 3. She was abused, mistreated and belittled by her family. If anything, I see her as a completely misguided little girl. If she actually had a positive authoritative influence in her life, she wouldn't have turned astray.

A lot of people disregard Monaca's trauma and forget that at the end of the day, Monaca was a child who the moment she was born, the people who were supposed to love her were unwelcoming.

Don't get me wrong though, there is no way in hell I will ever justify or condone the things Monaca has done. If anything, I just think that she alongside the rest of the Warriors of Hope should've been properly taken care of.

Also, if you dislike/hate Monaca thats 100% valid! She did a lot of inexcusable things and its alright to hate on her. I personally love her character but I know she is not everyones cup of tea.

If you read all the way, I'm actually surprised! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed<333

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life-rewritten · 3 years

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WE BEST LOVE (Fighting Mr 2nd) DEYI and The Theme of Control and Power

You know that show that you know you can talk about forever and be obsessed with, although it seems pretty simple and not really that complicated to analyse and break down? Well, We Best Love (WBL) is precisely that in the most amazing way. I'm not shocked because I've always been a fan of the History Series, especially with this writer and how she creates her projects; it's not surprising that WBL happens to be the most comfortable show to lean into. It feels like entering a cheesy, cute, romantic novel. Yet, it still is the most angsty, passionate, drama-filled plot enough to make you want to run into the screen and comfort these comfort characters, scream at them when they're not making sense, and keep watching despite the pain when you feel like they've gone too far. And I kept quiet and watched season 1 of WBL. I was entranced and in love because it was so simple, but it felt perfect for me; it was a distraction, it made me smile, and it also made my heart quiver. I adored all the actors, and I also enjoyed how the storyline was told. It doesn't have to be so deep and full of clues, but there were facets to the characters, clear set rules in understanding their character roles, and small hints building in the last episode that all was not well and a lot was coming for our couple in the future. It broke my heart because season 1 was focused on the immaturity and naiveness of how we feel when we enter university for the first time; the excitement, but still innocence of hopefully finding someone to mesh with, and yet the dumbness/naivety that can distract us or slow us down before knowing who that person is. Season 1 was light, funny, and sweet because that's how our doe-eyed souls feel when we first enter college and get to discover who we are. Season 2, on the other hand, is focusing on maturity, actually dealing with our flaws, coping with the responsibilities and hardships of life, duty and obligation vs wants and need; the characters are older now, affected by the world's cruelties/situations and now have walls up higher than before.

And in order to help us get that vibe, even more, our couple's relationship is put through the wringer, hearts torn, misunderstandings prolonged unfairly, and everyone broken just staying in a state of pining, longing and anger, anger, at what was lost to them; the innocence/fun of falling in love, the guise of being in control, and the joy of being free and dumb in love. It isn't a surprise to see our main character, Shide and Shu Yi, see their flaws fleshed out more in the open and actually increased and exposed for us, the audience, to watch and dislike. Shu Yi's short temper becomes even more exposed as he struggles to have control over his past and feelings for Shide once they reunite, and Shide's withdrawal of emotions also becomes even more strained and put on focus as he also realises what he has lost. Both of them enter this sick twisted, and tense need for control and power that their relationship becomes intense and full of passion hidden behind the anger and resentment. So I'm going to break down the idea of Control and Power with these twos relationship, a certain theme that has been there since season 1, and why now it's something both rivals are struggling to obtain to win, especially Shuyi, who is determined this time to not be Mr 2nd when it comes to Shide again. Hence the title Fighting Mr 2nd.

Misunderstandings and Miscommunications

Let's first focus on the miscommunication/ separation at hand. This exposed so much already about how these two felt about the power they hold over the other. Let's first look at what season 1 exposed; for Shide, Shuyi has always had control over him since the moment his young self told him that he would be a companion to him whenever he was lonely. Shide has desperately loved Shuyi and did everything possible to ensure he kept Shuyi's focus on him no matter what. The way he decided to do this was to put himself in a place more powerful than Shuyi; he put himself always ahead of Shuyi, ensuring he was always number one no matter what. This was how he controlled the situation; for him, as long as Shuyi noticed him, he was happy to continue hoping for a change and also making him react. In Shide's mind, he never wanted to force/ make Shuyi fall for him because he didn't think it was possible. He just wanted to be by his side (as a 'friend') until graduation was over.This shows me already some stuff about their relationship. How Shide perceives Shuyi; one, he didn't trust in Shuyi's love as being as strong as he was. He even says it to Shuyi on the bridge when they confessed to each other. For him, Shuyi was always the 'lucky' one; the one in control, the real winner because he had him in his palm of his hand. Shuyi was the one who made him whipped, the one he chased after secretly for 8 years or more. Shuyi has always been the one with the hold over him. Immediately they got together, Shide also tells Shouyi his confusion but the happiness that Shuyi is also feeling the same towards him.

Shide can't believe the switch in Shuyi's personality and actions for him; Shuyi still tried to play of Shide's grand confessions of love in the last episode, and Shide was okay as long as Shuyi kept paying attention to him. But in my head, it showed that Shide didn't think Shuyi's love was as unconditional, as strong, as uncontrollable as his. He didn't know he had any hold over Shuyi. He thought it was his constant love and chase that won Shuyi in the end, so what happens when he thinks he pushed Shuyi away? In Shide's perspective, he's the one who slacked behind and pushed Shuyi away by disappearing for 5 years, which fair enough makes sense; Shuyi has every right to be angry at being ghosted. But Shide blames himself and thinks it's because his show of love was weakened and slowed down that it caused Shuyi to retreat and walk away easily. Because he wasn't fighting anymore for their love, he lost Shuyi's attention. Again this suggests how fickle he believes Shuyi's feelings are and how still in his head he believes he's the one with the long-lasting love/feelings.

Shide's personality is someone who likes to be in control (like Shuyi but for different ways and reasons); he's kind of had to always be; ever since his dad died, he's had to try and make it his goal to become stronger and better to take care of his mum, and to ensure they live well. This is connected to the theme of Duty and Obligation in the show. Even in Season 1, the reason he has to leave for America for a bit is to ensure his mum settles in nicely. Even after that, he's again the one responsible for ensuring whoever was sick in America was taken care of. It's because of his need to be responsible and be in control that Shuyi always feels distanced from him (mocked, misunderstood, and hurt). Shide is someone who likes to keep a calm demeanour. He likes to take things on by himself; he likes to not show when he's hurting or alone (apart from that one time as a kid where he broke down on Shuyi). In fact, it might be because Shuyi is the only one who did see him in his vulnerable state and gave him an aim to become stronger that made him cling on to his love for him and devote himself to his love for him. But in looking so in control of his emotions, Shuyi always saw Shide as someone who loved winning and making him feel like a fool. In season 1, he thought Shide did it on purpose to see him lose control and be a mess, and in season 2, he's resorted back to that thinking. Let's look at why?

No 1 for You (Shide’s pov) vs Fighting Mr 2nd (Shuyi’s pov)

Shuyi did not also understand the proper depth of Shide's feelings. I guess we should have seen it coming that he didn't fully understand how deep they were, he had heard ideas from Shide's mother, he had heard grand declarations from Shide (after he was the one to pry it out of him), but he didn't actually trust it fully. I think because he didn't fully trust both their sexualities and identities when it came to their feelings. Like I said, we should have seen it coming when he admits he doesn't want to fall for a guy, but also it's because it's Shide he's okay with being in love. However, people complained about this because in BL, we're tired of the I love you, not boys trajectory always chosen. However, it was more than that. I think because of what's embedded in people's minds at a young age (due to society), there might have also been, as a result of that, hints of internalised homophobia (IH) with Shuyi. And that's why it made sense for him to wither and assume that Shide truly would be with someone else and be married and have kids. Because of IH, Shuyi may have automatically thought it made sense that Shide would move on, get married and have kids in America (hence as he said in episode 1, he was disqualified by choice) because, in his head, he didn't understand Shide's love and devotion for him.

It also points to insecurity and fear that he might not be enough/the better option for Shide. One of his pet peeves was that he was always coming second to Shide, he was always being seen by himself as second best, and he probably also thought he had become the second-best option to Shide living a great 'fulfilled' life according to 'society' where he is married to a wife and has kids. This is why in the special episode, he also gives up easily and wishes him the best refusing to actually question why Shide would do this to him after all the stupid and grand promises he made a year ago before he left. Promises of marriage, promises of devotion, of being his family etc. Of course, this felt like Shuyi was thoroughly mocked and lowered because he had lost again to Shide by letting his heart trust him and wait for him. Now, in season 2, he's determined to not do that too. To not lose control of his heart ever again. To not fail to Shide in any way, shape or form ever again.

Shuyi; The Guise of Control

Shide is always acting on the surface like he's in control, causing Shuyi to always think he's more vulnerable and a fool, and it makes season 2 make more sense. Even if Shide says, he'll make Shuyi look at him again, how on earth is he meant to ever let that happen? He literally manipulated the situation in season 1 and got Shuyi's walls down only for him just to cheat on him, so how can Shuyi trust just his actions on the surface?

No matter how devoted Shide is looking, even at the end finally showing a hint of losing control under Shuyi's hold which Shuyi was not expecting because he thought Shide will always want to again be 'proper'. And in the past, it was Shuyi who always pushed for skinship once they started dating; Shide always again acted like he hadn't been affected; this was discussed actually in that final episode. Even if on the surface Shide looked affected, Shuyi wouldn't trust that. Because Shide is always holding back whilst Shuyi always feels like a fool, never being able to control himself around him, never being able to control his emotions or have a poker face around him. From the first episode in season 1, Shuyi has always been uncontrollable when it came to Shide, whilst Shide always came out looking cool.

Shuyi always ended up in the most vulnerable shameful state (forgetfully hurting himself in reaction to Shide's presence, being the one distracted and bothered by skinship in the last episode whilst Shide studied, or even being exposed and screaming down a bridge, his love for Shide to make Shide come out and say how he feels). Shuyi always ended up being weakened and frustrated because Shide seemed like he had everything in order. Shuyi is now adamant he's lying or that Shuyi is still the one who's more in love with him (his biggest fear). For example, the slap he gives to Shide (exposed his lack of control of emotions around Shide) and yet Shide immediately tried to control the situation, making Shuyi again look like the irrational one and the most affected one. Also, as mentioned it Shuyi (in Shuyi's head), who proceeded to force/get Shide to confess. Because Shide was too focused on controlling his environment, avoiding the situation, holding back his feelings, whilst Shuyi's emotions always get the best of him and caused him to still lose in front of Shide. Basically letting Shide get his way all the time. And by doing that, it was Shuyi who ended up waiting for a year and then being 'cheated' on, being ghosted with his heart shattered.

The Fear of Weakness and Vulnerability

Other examples are Shide going to Shuyi's house and ignoring him in his own home (again, Shuyi can't even control his environment when it comes to Shide, everything he owns feels little because Shide seems to have a hold over him in everything), and proceeding to make him the fried rice. Even as the vice president who's meant to be in control and be in charge of letting go of people (which his father is pressuring him to do, he has no choice in the matter), Shide is the CEO (a higher position) of the company and is adamant on convincing Shuyi to do no such thing. It's a big fear to Shuyi, which is why he's determined to ensure he does fire these people because if he doesn't, It means he's again coinciding underneath Shide's hold over him, over everything he has, including his heart.

The act of making fried rice in Shuyi's house as if nothing is going on, Shide ignoring his tantrums and outbursts does again what Shuyi hates, makes him feel stupid, weak and vulnerable. It makes him feel like he's losing again to Shide. This is why I think he really has no other option in his mind to win but to use emotions and feelings (what he can't control) as a weapon to capture Shide. By making Shide fall for him emotionally and then being the one to break his heart, that's how Shuyi thinks he'll finally be able to break down Shide's calm, façade that he's always in control, that's how he stops being Mr Second. Obviously, it's a stupid idea because Shuyi literally becomes weakened just by being in Shide's presence. To be anywhere intimate with him, he will only resort to his own emotions being, even more, harder to handle even if he tries to play it off as just attraction.

And for both of them, control is even harder physically with emotions because they've been 'starved' of each other's presence for 5 years, of each other's touch and connection. As shown in episode 1 of FMS, they're both in a state of pining, longing and waiting for one of them to give in. For 5 years, Shuyi was secretly fighting against the truth that he had been waiting for Shide to return even when he tried to focus all his energy and heart into hate and bitterness (to distract him from the pain of waiting). Shuyi never wanted to give up on hope, never wanted to let go of Shide, because it's out of his control to forget or move on. He couldn't do that even if he tried. This is why he also tries again to use a power play with a fake girlfriend that he couldn't remember the name for. Every single sentence he said was how he compared himself to the girl he thought Shide cheated on him with. He was saying it to hurt Shide, but in the end, he was still exposing his own hurt and insecurity about why he thought Shide left him.

Shide; Control Vs Sacrifice

Meanwhile, the audience all know that, on the other hand, Shide is the one who has no control over the matter. No matter what he seems like on the surface/ in front of Shuyi, Shide is completely tired, weak and frustrated once he sees Shuyi again. It's frustrating because the only time he shows his emotions is once Shuyi isn't looking; he cries only after Shuyi has left, always holding his feelings and only letting it out when he's by himself. Although to Shuyi, it seems he's in control, being the CEO, being the one who disappeared for 5 years, being the one who is successful and influential, Shuyi couldn't be more opposite in his thoughts. Shide has no control over the CEO position; it's not a job he chose for himself, it's not what he wanted to do, he did it because of again his responsibility to his mother and family. Shide isn't the one who chose to disappear for 5 years in America; he again had no control over the situation because someone else was ill, and he had to be the one to help his family again become stable. And lastly, Shide isn't successful and as influential as he's sold his company to Shuyi's father, so he actually isn't in control of his position, of his life essentially. What Shuyi sees as control is unfortunate because it's actually Shide's sacrifice; he's had to lose what he actually wants to be in that position. All he's ever wanted is Shuyi. Ironic no?

Even in Season 1, when he seemed to be the one controlling the situation, he wasn't; he always did everything to get Shuyi, and for 8 years him being 'in control/winner' as Shuyi puts it wasn't him winning because he always didn't get Shuyi's heart before he confessed. And that's what's so heartbreaking about Shuyi's misunderstanding of Shide; when he first sees Shide in the past in his memories, he doesn't know the moment Shide fell for him; he just sees Shide winning over him, he doesn't even notice the first person who had control over the other was him, because he already took Shide's heart, trust and devotion. This is why Shide told him he was the lucky one; he was the one who was winning, who was always in control. Not Shide.

Love and It’s Hold and Power

And again, although Shide is the one he thinks he's second-best to. Shuyi has a lot of power over everyone else since he was young. He's been a spoilt, rich boy who's had control over his friends (in a positive way like they felt they had to watch him and babysit him), he's had control due to his father's power, and he's had control now over Shide just due to again his father's job and his heritage. And I think that's why he can't stand the fact that no matter what he does when he's with Shide, he loses all of that power; he's reduced to wanting to do something for someone, like in season 1, washing the dishes, being humble, exposing his feelings to Shide so loudly and vulnerably. Shide is the only person who makes him want to do all that, and he hates it. It's why when the employees in episode 1 call him again Shide's girlfriend (even though literally Shide bending down to tie his laces is an act of losing control and him being in control of him), it bothers him because it makes him look weak. He's the one flustered by the actions; his heart is shaken by the movement. What he sees about Shide vs what's genuinely being shown/exposed is so opposite, so of course, they're more prone to misunderstandings because they've always both seen the situation very differently.

So WBL has always been using this theme of Control vs Power with Shide and Shuyi. And how, because of love, both of them feel this lack of control over each other. Mostly from season 1, when Shide gets closer to Shuyi using the idea of rivalry to see who can win over each other, even though he gives in always to Shuyi on purpose. Shuyi's misunderstanding has always been an issue since episode 1, since even when Shide kissed him in the pool. This time around in season 2, we get to deal with the actual seriousness/reciprocation of what that misunderstanding and fear of lack of control can do to them. And how others can manipulate that (Shuyi's father probably). Either way, these twos relationship has become angst central because Shuyi really is fighting Mr second, he's determined this time not to lose to Shide no matter what and he's finally using like the last way he can possibly gain control over Shide. His body. The most vulnerable part of a person is exposed when they sleep with someone else; by getting Shide to even want to give in to him as he requested, he can expose everything about Shide, his weakness, his heart, his truths. Hence, it makes sense the relationship is using attraction and chemistry as a powerful tool for the storyline. Shuyi isn't going to be able to even go through with anything because he's just as vulnerable and weak with Shide as Shide is with him.

I love angst, and I love power plays and fight for control in rivals to lovers stories. I love misunderstandings and requited, but they don't know the trope. I just really enjoy WBL, and I'm so excited to see what happens next. Looks like Shide is finally going to lose that façade he has on the surface once he breaks down under the influence of alcohol; probably, poor boy has been suffering so much. And I think both of them will soon need to gain control over their situation together so they can defeat the obstacles that come in the form of Shuyi's father, society, company issues etc. So yeh, I'm loving this, and it's such a breath of fresh air. Friday is too far away, sigh.

#we best love #wbl #wbl: fighting mr. 2nd #we best love: fighting mr. 2nd #fighting mr.2nd #bl series #bl drama #cwg #march #gao shi de #zhou shu yi

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jasmariswonderland · 2 years

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🌷Ione Haruka, First Year NRC Student Twisted from the Iris from Alice in Wonderland 🌷

TW/CW: Ione’s backstory includes mentions of postpartum death.

🌷Introduction/Description🌷

Name: Ione Haruka (A/N: Her name is pronounced EE-OHNN, the ‘e’ in her name is silent)

Other Names: Miss Priss (Ace and Grim), Wallflower (Vil and Iman), Reine de Glace (Rook), Blowfish (Floyd)

Age: 16

Birthday/Starsign: May 31st (Gemini)

Height: 170CM

Eye Color: Lapis Blue

Hair Color: Violet

Homeland: Queendom of Roses

Family: Yolanda Haruka (mother, deceased), William Haruka (father) Issaic Haruka (older brother), Marian Haruka (older sister), Estelle Haruka (older sister)

Dorm: Heartslabyul

School Year: Freshman

Class: 1-C (No. 12)

Club(s): Board Game Club and Black Swans (main member)

Best Subject: Defensive Magic

Dominant Hand: Left

Favorite Food: Tea Sandwiches

Least Favorite Food: Cherries

Dislikes: People who break rules, dishonesty, and being yelled at

Hobbies: Reading, writing in her journal and caring for animals

Talents: Memorizing things

~~~

🌷Background🌷

The earliest thing Ione can remember is being held by her mother soon after she was born. When she thinks hard enough she can almost make out an image of her face; her long hair the same color as her own, and her teary, agonized smile. Ione focuses on this memory often because sadly, it’s the only one she has of her mother because she died soon after her birth. Sadder still, Ione grew up under a cloud of resentment, formed by her father’s grudge against her birth. He is an emotionally distant man; naturally cold, traditionally minded, and never the same after the death of his wife. And he had no idea how to raise four children without a mother and often takes his sorrow out on them.

Ione’s three older siblings are far kinder to her and try to shield her from their father’s resentment but her home life was still anything but easy. Her father seems to especially resent Ione because of her name (her eldest sister names her because her father was too consumed with grief and couldn’t be bothered), similar to her mother’s name, and her appearance which bears some similarity to her mother as well. He goes out of his way to make sure Ione has no pride in her appearance with his cold words to her that often border on verbally abusive. This has colored Ione’s worldview and she genuinely believes the fact that she looks like her mother makes her ugly (despite seeing photos of her and finding her beautiful). She also blames herself for her mother’s death, something she believes well into her adolescence until Crisanta begins to convince her otherwise.

To escape her father’s anger and hopefully not be a burden on him, Ione focused deeply on being the model child. Going out of her way not to cause trouble, not speak up even when she wants to, and generally taking up as little space as possible. She hopes to earn his approval with her obedience and over time, his manner has improved some. But there is still a cold distance between them and sadly, this has resulted in Ione somewhat becoming like her father in a way. She’s not as cruel but she has become very socially awkward and emotionally inept. These are things she’s often taunted for in school which in turn has further embittered her to the world around her.

Deep down, Ione wants to be liked, loved, and wants to have more confidence but she has no idea about how to go about this. She’s very inspired by different idol groups and when she was attending TGA, deeply admired Danica and her friends from afar. Many times she considered auditioning to join the idol club but she never did. Her father’s disproval being the major reason. He has his own ideas for what Ione should want in her life and is currently arranging for Ione to marry the son of a family friend after she graduates NRC. She’s really not interested in marriage at the moment but still craves her father’s approval so is remaining silent on the matter. Her only solace is being away from home for school.

~~~~~

🌷Appearance🌷

Ione has a milky white complexion set off by naturally ruddy cheeks. Her skin is also lightly freckled with most of her freckles along her forehead, arms, and back. Her eyes are the color of lapis stones and she wears large round glasses. According to Vil, her appearance without glasses is quite pretty, but she prefers to wear them and feels awkward wearing contact lenses.

Her shoulder-length violet hair is usually tied into a ponytail but she will wear it loose with her Black Swan clubwear. She wears her school uniform with a buttoned blazer, black gloves and white over-the-knee socks. When wearing her dorm uniform, Ione also wears a single strand of pearls that once belonged to her late mother.

~~~

🌷Personality🌷

Ione is very prim and proper with a deep respect for authority. She lives by a very strict code of personal conduct and rarely allows herself to break it. When she does try to be social, she often comes off as very awkward so for the most part, she doesn’t even try. As a result, she doesn’t have many friends besides Crisanta.

Though in different grades, Crisanta is very interested in helping Ione be less aloof and longs to see her laugh and smile more. Likely due to their similar broken family backgrounds. In a sense, Ione represents what Crisanta could be and vice versa

~~~~~

🌷Unique Magic🌷

Ione’s unique magic is called Bitter Weeds and allows her to create and manipulate flowering plants (especially weeds) for combative purposes. She can use her UM to create large bunches of weeds to impede mobility and even choke enemies with them.

~~~

🌷Other Skills/Talents 🌷

🌷 Botanic Magic ~ Even before discovering her UM, Ione always had a knack for plant based magic and she’s memorized over 300 kinds of plants and flowers used for potionology.

🌷 Singing ~ Ione has a very beautiful voice according to several people but she never really sang before coming to NRC.

🌷 Animal Linguistics/Telepathy ~ Ione has always been good with animals but it wasn’t until coming to NRC that she began taking animal linguistics and realized that she has a special connection to them.

~~~

🌷Trivia/Lore🌷

(A/N: This section will be further updated over time)

Ione has memorized 500 rules of the Queen of Hearts, not as many as Riddle but more than Trey. Needless to say, Riddle holds Ione in high regard even after Book 1.

She loves small animals evident by her keeping a ferret and one of her favorite things to do is take care of the Heartslabyul hedgehogs.

Her only regret about attending NRC is the fact she had to leave her pet ferret at home.

Ione is one of of three twst ocs who I’ve written a potential overbot plot for in the future.

~~~

🌷 In-Canon Adventures🌷

🌷 Prologue ~ Ione caught Riddle’s attention immediately due to being one of the few freshman actually behaving herself during orientation. Jade and Azul briefly accosted her but Riddle immediately went to her defense. When Yuulan and Grim crashed the ceremony, Ione’s robe was caught in Grim’s flames and she was badly burned. As upset as she was, Riddle was far more upset and personally healed her burns. Later, during the Heartslabyul welcome party, Ione had the privilege of sitting next to Riddle and Trey where she displayed her knowledge of the rules of the Queen of Hearts and further earned her dorm leaders’ approval.

🌷 Book 1 ~ Ione kept her nose down through most of the happenings of Book 1 and had little sympathy for Ace since she felt his tart theft put him at fault first. She also did not like how Yuulan and Grim were meddling in the affairs of her dorm, as she felt it to be. She and Crisanta tried to press Ace to apologize to Riddle several times and Ione even went so far to say that even if Ace is right about Trey enabling Riddle, it doesn’t matter because all Ace cares about is how it affects him. By the time of Riddle’s OB, Ione was the only one to remain loyal to him and this only changed when Riddle accidentally collared Ione in a fit of rage where he mass collared several students at once. Riddle’s OB left Ione incredibly traumatized, especially since it brought back a lot of unpleasant memories from her past and she spent that evening crying herself to sleep. However, Ione relationship with Riddle has not changed but while Riddle’s personality has improved over time, Ione’s has not.

🌷Book 2 ~ Ione spent the majority of Book 2 helping Crisanta heal after she was targeted by Ruggie. She did recover enough to attend the tournament and she and Ione were nearly caught up in the stampede before Silver pulled them away.

🌷 Book 3 ~ Sadly, Ione did go to Azul for help with her exams and sadder still, was actually ONE POINT under making the top 50. Ione later told Crisanta that the exams actually weren’t that difficult for her and she felt she could have passed on her own. Nevertheless, Ione was forced into indentured servitude to the Monstro Lounge along with Ace, Deuce and Grim. Azul was slightly nicer to her as a fellow club member and because she didn’t complain much but the Tweels took a lot of pleasure in tormenting her even when she did what she was told. Crisanta tried to talk to Azul to set her free with no success and even after the end of Book 3, both girls don’t have the best opinion of him.

🌷 Book 4 ~ Ione returned to the Queendom of Roses for winter break and as of Book 5, is not fully aware of what happened at Scarabia. She’s heard some rumors and hear Taima and Iman hint at it, but that’s about it. To learn more about Ione’s winter break adventures, read here.

🌷 Book 5 ~ Ione auditions for the VDC with Crisanta and both get accepted. From the beginning, Ione has trouble keeping up with the training in spite of having a beautiful singing voice. Things are made worse when Crisanta drops out. For more about Ione’s Book 5 adventures, read here.

~~~

🌷Relationships (As Of Book 5)🌷

A ~ Ione’s relationship with Riddle is probably the best she has besides her relationship with Crisanta and arguably Idia. Considering they come from similarly strict households and from the same country, it makes sense. From the start, Ione’s ability to follow rules without question and her adherence to strict decorum put her in Riddle’s good graces and she’s the only freshman thus far that he hasn’t needed to discipline. Ione for her part respects Riddle greatly and constantly strives to make a good impression on him. Even after Riddle’s overblot, Ione is still loyal to him and cares about him though it’s completely platonic on her part. Riddle on the other hand…

B ~ On the completely opposite side of the coin however, Ione HATES Ace and vice versa. It was a mutual hatred started by Ace making fun of Ione during the Heartslabyul welcome party and Riddle fiercely rebuking him for it. Beyond that, he finds her snobbish and high strung and openly teases her, mainly because he knows he can’t get away with that with Riddle. Ione in turn finds him very rude and she’ll never forgive him for punching Riddle for something that was lowkey his fault in the first place, the way she see’s it.

C ~ Sadly, Ione get’s caught up in the Octavinelle schemes of Book 3 in her desperation to be at the academic top of her class. She actually misses being in the top 50 by 1 rank but that meant she had to be enslaved to work for Azul for a while. Even after his overblot, she never really see’s him as more than a sleezy, underhanded person.

D ~ Idia and Ione are similarly introverted though Ione is only the slightest bit better at socialization. But she does empathize with Idia and they enjoy playing games together. She’s one of the few at NRC that he actually likes.

E ~ The main reason Ione and Sebek don’t get along is their fierce loyalty to their respective dorm leaders. They may or may not have gotten into heated arguments about which dorm leader is superior.

🌷Ione’s Relationships With My Other Twst OCs 🌷

Yuulan ~ Ione doesn’t think much of Yuulan at first because of her lack of magic ability and also because she HATES Grim. Throughout Book 1 she feels like Yuulan is simply meddling in issues she has no stake in and feels that Riddle is completely in the right. They become slightly more civil over time but Ione’s prickly attitude (along with Ace’s dislike of Ione) means they likely will never be anything like friends.

Sidonie ~ Because Sidonie is a frequent visitor to her dorm, they have met on occasion a few times. Sidonie feels that Ione has a good heart and Ione feels that Sidonie is sensible and since Riddle thinks well of her, so does she.

Lilianne and Minette ~ Ione attended TGA with Minette, Danica, Taima and Lilianne. Though she wasn’t close to any of them, she was on slightly better terms with Minette as they also went to elementary school together. And after the VDC, they’ve all had the opportunity to know each other better.

Ayse ~ Ione and Ayse meet during the VDC and while they’re on rival teams, Ayse takes an immediate liking to Ione. Something Ione finds very perplexing at first but as they get to know each other, Ione realizes that she quite likes Ayse as well. And may or may not have a crush on her…

~~~

🌷Cards🌷

(Will be updated over time)

#Meed Ione #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc

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