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i-am-hungry-24-7 · 16 hours

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[Hey, how are you?] Simon Riley*F!Reader

Ten years ago, Simon lost you due to his mistake, and he meets you again after these years of regret.

Hurt and comfort, Happy Ending

“Are you married?”

He always be asked when others see the ring on his finger.

“No.” He answers while taking another sip of his wine, letting the person realize it’s a topic they don’t have the authority to dig in.

He still remembers the vow he chanted as he put the ring on your finger.

The memory is as clear as the day you left the house, and he never saw you again.

It’s his fault, you didn’t shed many tears when he yelled at you, saying that you will never be able to free him from his nightmares, who do you think you are? a fucking philanthropist?

He knew he screwed up everything the moment his taunt escape his mouth.

No, No. I didn’t mean to say that, I need you, I love you, please don’t leave me.

He watched you lower your head, trying in vain to hide your sadness, but your heart was already shattered into pieces, by him, the man who promised to protect you by any means.

I’m sorry.

The words stuck in his throat when he looked at you stepping out the threshold with your belongings.

Please stay.

The greedy wish was buried inside his heart when you stopped for a second. “Bye, Simon. Take care.” you whispered, and disappeared into the aisle.

Ten years, he’s still unable to move on.

He brainwashes himself repeatedly, she will have a better life without you.

Yet he still opens his phone every time he finishes his therapy sessions, looks at your number, and just stares at the screen for minutes.

His thumb lingers on the “call” button but never dares to press it.

Hey, are you doing alright? I’m sorry, I want you back. I went to therapy after that day. I’m not the same person caged in his past anymore.

I miss you so much.

but how selfish he is if he interrupts your life now? Such a nice person like you deserves someone to cherish you nicely, and treasure you with their whole heart.

That’s why he now stands afar from you, watching you behind the veil of autumn’s breeze.

You’re still stunning, time doesn’t deprive your beauty even a bit.

He gazes at you for a long while, and when you turn around and spot him, it’s obvious that you’re in shock and come to a halt.

The world keeps moving, but the time seems frozen between you two, as you both set eyes on each other and never dart.

You head towards him as he starts hesitating to take the first move.

“Hey.” You look at him with a shallow grin on your face.

“Hey.” He mumbles.

The silence fills the air, but no awkwardness, he’s just too indulged in your presence, which he has been dreaming of for years.

Sorry for that day. How are you doing now? Have you married? Have a partner?...

He has too many things he wants to ask, but his thoughts are like matted wool, until his eyes land on the ring on your finger.

“You’re marrie—“ He questions without a second thought, but the words get cut off instantly due to his realization.

because the ring is paired with the one on his finger right now.

It’s not until you chuckle that he’s back to reality.

“Yes, I’m married, about ten years ago? to an idiot man.”

“Why did you marry him? he’s a bloody dork.”

“Good question. or maybe that’s the reason why I married him.” Shrugging, you then meet his gaze with a smile “How about you? Are you married?”

“Yeah, ten years ago, to a woman that’s too precious for me, so I lost her.”

“If you meet her again, what do you want to tell her?”

“I’ve improved. I’ve reached for help and now I’m not the same man anymore.”

“Anything else you want to say?”

“I miss her every single day, and I hope I can have her in my arms again.”

“Well, I don’t know about her.” you step closer to him. “But I’m sure she will love to have some tea with you as her first compensation from you, what do you think?”

He blinks at the hand you reach out at him, and slowly, he takes it into his palms, that’s befitting to drive away the chill.

Your hand fits well in his, like it’s made for him to serve it with all his warmth, and he’s sure that he will never let go of it again.

“My pleasure.”

a/n: lemme give Simon a fucking punch/j

#cod imagine #ghost x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #cod x reader #simon riley imagine #cod x you #ghost x you #simon ghost riley x you #simon 'ghost' riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x reader

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fictionkinfessions · 3 days

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A long (I apologize for the length) response to https://www.tumblr.com/fictionkinfessions/748773698635513856/ive-seen-enough-asks-on-here-about-the-topic-so?source=share

Aka "get therapy systems" anon.

1) Please don't tell us what to do. Some of us are already in therapy. Some of us have trauma surrounding therapy. Sure it's not normal... FOR YOU. That's dangerous and abelist thinking. It's comparable to saying neruodivergent people need to be in corrective therapy because they're "not normal." (Which is a disgusting thought process! And we here are already in therapy!)

2) We can kin whomever we want and have as many kins as we want. For copinglinks, there might be a plethora of characters helping cope with things in life. For systems, we all have our own exposure to media at varying levels. And for spiritual kin, time is not linear and someone can have infinite number of kins. But we have more important topics to touch on and I'd be happy to get into that later.

3) How would you like it if we told YOU to get therapy? Because coming into a safe space for people who ARE systems and HAVE many kins, seems insane to us here in this system.

4) You're correct in the fact that ADHD, Autism and CPTSD can cause dissociative episodes but guess what? DID and OSDD are caused by repetitive traumatic experience in childhood. Which did you know? Being neurdodivergent and not getting your needs met due to lack of communication/understand and overstimulation (amongst other various factors) can be considered traumatic? Especially to children? It sounds like you've done BARE BONES research into dissociative disorders and have made assumptions based on research into neurodivergency. (And we are a nerurodivergent system so we've had to pay attention to the differences and sort things out in therapy!)

5) Final note from a system (THAT'S OVER 30 BTW), don't ever get upset over systems with over 100 alters because that system might just have a low split tolerance or has experienced a lot of different traumatic events and need a lot of extra support.

SO TLDR; instead of coming into a safe space and being an asshole, show compassion to people who have clearly GONE THROUGH IT. Kindness and understanding helps heal more than harsh words. I hope you have a lovely day and learn a lot more that will help open your mind further in the future.

x

#fictionkinfessions #ableism cw #ask response #mod party cat

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lick-me-lennon22 · 1 day

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How they help you through mental health struggles

(this is one of two prompts suggested by a particular anon 💞 keep an eye out for your other request soon!! hope you all enjoy this read)

John

John starts the days by ringing your house/flat to see how you're doing and to hear your voice

he'll try his damndest to talk you through panic attacks or depressive episodes, drawing from his personal experiences with inner turmoil

he'd be the type to research more alternative and obscure forms of treatment, such as primal therapy or hypnotherapy

he's willing to accompany you to these sessions if you'd like, overcoming his defensive and guarded ways in an effort to support you

helping you through your struggles opens his mind to seeking therapy and practicing healthy habits in his own life

he often invites you out for walks to get some vitamin D or over to his place in the evenings to listen to music together

even on days when he's entrenched in his own troubles John still finds the time to do small things to show his love for you, like fixing you tea just the way you like it or grabbing you a treat from the corner store

Paul

Paul feels an intense need to do whatever he can to "fix" the way you're feeling

it's just the way his mind works when a situation is out of his control

because of this he's more hands-on in his support, offering to help you with daily tasks like grocery shopping, washing up, or picking up medications

he helps you to stay organized and prioritize tasks to keep you from feeling overwhelmed

he'll walk you through more mentally draining responsibilities such as cleaning/rearranging your living space or budgeting

Paul just wants to take care of everything for his beloved partner

he will gently encourage you to engage in whichever form of therapy you feel most drawn to

you find that he shows his support in other small but thoughtful gestures, like surprising you with your favorite meal or a brand new plush

George

George shows his support by creating a sacred space in his home for you, dedicated to relaxation and recharging following social events or particularly rough days

he furnishes this room with comfy cushions and dimming drapes, always burning incense and playing calming music to soothe you

he tries to gently guide you towards mindfulness practices and encourages you to find solace in nature

he's inclined to suggest pursuing alternative therapies such as reiki and aromatherapy (especially if you don't resonate with traditional talk therapy), favoring holistic approaches to healing the mind, body, and spirit

George will begin a collaborative journal where you can both write out your thoughts and feelings, creating a sense of connection and shared experience

he also buys you a small potted plant/flower as a gift and physical representation of your progress and personal growth

he invites you to join him for stargazing sessions in the evenings, laying out an intricately patterned blanket in the backyard so you can admire the night sky together

Ringo

Ringo transforms his home into a haven for you, removing any potential stressors/triggers and creating a calm and comfortable atmosphere for you to unwind in

he'll play fun board games, dance with you, and invite you to try out new hobbies with him as a way to foster connection in your day-to-day interactions

occasionally, he will plan low-pressure social activities to help reduce feelings of isolation

Ringo would help you research treatment options and create a support network so you never feel alone in your struggles

he'll work with you to set achievable goals and celebrate every one of your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem to you

he allows you open access to his drum set so you can release any anger or anxiety you may be harboring in a healthy and engaging way

he wants to be your rock and act as a pillar of love and encouragement in your life

he's curated a comfort box for you, filled with things to bring you joy and ground you such as photos, fragrances, plushes, and calming sensory items

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satureja13 · 2 days

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(Poll below)

Jack logged out from his Therapy Game and he couldn't be happier. Tiny Can did a very good job. Though, he'll have to have a word with Tiny Can and the goats about that BL content. But maybe he's supposed to start a romance with Lou to forget about Kiyoshi?

Saiwa is so happy that Jack didn't feel the pain from his rash ingame :3 So it seems that the feelings from ingame do not effect their life here (like Vlad's ingame hunger) and the feelings and sensations from out of the game won't necessarily affect their characters ingame. Poor Vlad is torn. He's happy that Jack's therapy went so much better than his own playtest, but he's afraid to send Ji Ho in the game. What if he really is going to marry Caleb? But he can't be selfish. Ji Ho deserves his therapy. And if it helps Ji Ho, he will survive it too.

Jack: "So Sai, my friend. When will you go to your therapy?" Sai: "Uhm..." Saiwa is hesistant. He's their leader and should have been the first to check the Therapy Game and if it's safe for the others, but he's not ready yet to face his problems. And that's fine. The door to change can only be opened from the inside. (This quote is written on the wall at the front desk of my psychiatrist. Another one says 'Change needs time'.)

Jack: "I'm just kidding. I bet no one can stop Ji Ho from checking out now if he's really Caleb's bride! Right, Ji Ho?" Ji Ho laughs a bit nervous: "A haha, yes. Can't wait." Of course Ji Ho can't wait. Caleb is the dream of each of them (well, except Vlad's). But he also knows this will hurt Vlad.

Vlad has to leave to care for Jeb and Kiyoshi. They quickly charge the Bond and Vlad tries to let Ji Ho know through the Bond that he's ok with whatever happens in the Therapy Game. But he's not even fooling Diablo...

Ji Ho is torn. Is it really ok to hurt Vlad's feelings when it's necessary for his therapy and well being?

Ji Ho asked Jack and Sai what they would do. Jack thought about it too. But he does not have a partner right now so he's up for it should Lou hit on him. Saiwa agrees that Ji Ho should go for it. It's just a game after all and NPC Caleb is not the real Caleb. Nothing is real in the Therapy Game.

Jack: "So, it would be ok for you if Jeb had a boyfriend ingame?" Saiwa hisses and Jack realized that he went to far. Jack: "This isn't as easy a decision as it seems, huh."

It's time to go to bed. They are tired but Jack is still happily chatting about the game and they are glad it went so well for him. And even though they saw some scenes on the screen, they listen. It wasn't possible to watch everything anyway. Jack had been away for a few hours and they took turns to watch over him. And it's interesting to hear how it had been for Jack and how he experienced his Therapy Game.

If Ji Ho's therapy goes well too, Saiwa will try it. One day they will have to return back home to the others and he'd better be prepared to face Kiyoshi and Jeb again. He misses Jeb so much it hurts. But he has no idea how they are supposed to get over this fake realtionship he had with Kiyoshi. Even though they both agreed to it because they had no choice.

'May the ghosts that howled round the house at night Never keep you from your sleep May they all sleep tight down in hell tonight Or wherever they may be

As I walked on with a heavy heart then a stone danced on the tide And the song went on though the lights were gone And the North wind gently sighed

And an evening breeze coming from the East That kissed the riverside So I pray now child that you sleep tonight when you hear this lullaby

May the wind that blows from haunted graves never bring you misery May the angels bright watch you tonight And keep you while you sleep'

Lullaby of London - The Pogues (Such a beautiful song. Shane McGowan, the head of the Pogues, died November last year but he left us all his beautiful music. He was so gifted.)

Outtakes

A screenshot from the Therapy Game and a photo of Jack, 'The Pioneer' ^^'

Because no way we're having a normal meal where we all stay sit at the table and have a normal meal together -.-

From the Beginning ~ Underwater Love ~ Latest Current Chapter: 🕹️ 'The One' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

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krirebr · 3 days

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So, I've been going back and forth about sharing this here but it's really been dominating my thoughts for the last two days, and while I've talked about it a lot with friends, I'm hoping that writing everything down will help me process things. And maybe other people, especially aspec people might be able to relate.

I mentioned on Wednesday that I'd had a really terrible evening that had really shaken and upset me. Below the cut, I want to share what happened.

TWs for references to depression, aphobia, exclusionism, and bad therapy (there's probably a better word for it but I'm not sure what it would be.)

So some of you know that I started this year with a pretty intense depressive episode. It was bad enough that I had to take a leave of absence from work and pretty much spent that whole time crying in bed. It's taken a lot of work over the last few months to get myself back to a more stable place. A big part of that work has been regularly going to therapy.

I went to therapy on and off as a kid and in college, but not at all since then. All of my previous therapeutic experience was long before I came out as aroace. There's a long, ongoing history of aspec identities being medicalized and pathologized and that's something I was very aware of while looking for a therapist this time around. But I was also really desperate for help. So I chose as wisely as I could and crossed my fingers.

I chose a queer therapist who specialized in LGBTQ issues. I told them I was aroace in my first session and while they didn't seem very familiar at all, they also didn't make me overly explain myself or want to focus on that rather than the very real and urgent issues I had come to them for, which is what I'd been most worried about.

As I continued to meet with them weekly, they would sometimes ask questions about it, and while it was pretty clear they didn't really get it, they were respectful about it and it wasn't interfering with the help I actually needed.

That brings me to my appointment this Wednesday. I didn't have anything really pressing to discuss so they asked about my plans for the week and I mentioned that I was getting my hair cut and I was excited because I've been feeling lately like my hair is really hetero (I use that word instead of straight because my hair is so, so curly 😂) and I was looking forward to having queer hair again. They stopped. "Wait," they said, "I'm confused. Why did you use that word to describe yourself?" It had never occurred to them that aspec identities would be considered part of the queer community. They, in fact, had an incredibly narrow definition of the word queer - gay, just gay. And they didn't consider asexuality or aromanticism to be orientations at all.

My memories of the following conversation are pretty jumbled, but some highlights included such chestnuts as "What if you meet the right person one day?", asserting that the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for ally, there has to be a sexual component to romantic relationships, and "everyone has to have attraction, humans are sexual beings." They also said that we should dig into my childhood going forward because they were sure there was something there that caused this. I had a pretty traumatic middle school experience (bullying and some psychosomatic stuff that stemmed from that) and they were pretty eager to blame all that for this.

I became increasingly defensive and combative as this conversation went on (which if you know me, isn't like me at all). It ended with us both feeling very bad and uncomfortable.

I think they kind of came around a little bit by the end. They seemed open to educating themselves and even sent me a link to an article they'd found after our session. And that's great, I guess? But the whole thing made me want to crawl out of my skin. I cried a lot when I got home.

I'm not exactly sure what to do from here. My initial plan was to go next week, talk through what happened, offer some context for why I had gotten so defensive, and discuss together whether this was going to be a good long-term fit. But that's feeling less and less likely the more I think about it (I haven't been able to stop thinking about it). This is just such a big part of who I am. And it's a part of myself that I like and am proud of! And I just can't imagine a situation where I would ever feel safe talking about this aspect of my life with them. And I don't really want therapy where I'm constantly having to censor myself. So do I even go to my next appointment? I really don't know.

I know there's a lot of hopelessness in the aspec community around getting mental health care and I really don't want to add to that. I don't want to believe that we can't get help for our actual issues without mental health professionals just wanting to fix things that don't actually need to be fixed. And I hope that's not the moral or ultimate outcome of this story. I've talked to my very lovely network of queer friends and several of them have already said that they'll reach out to their contacts to find some recommendations for me. I deserve to get the help that I need in a space that is actually safe. And my need isn't as urgent as I was. I can take my time now to find someone I'm fully comfortable with.

I'm not sure exactly why I shared this. I don't always get so personal on here. And some of you have already heard it (thank you for being such good friends, seriously). But it's just been festering inside of me for the past two days and I really needed to share it. Thank you for listening.

#kris gets personal #vent post #kris rambles #asexuality #tw aphobia #therapy #bad therapy

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sophiexrph · 2 years

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Hey stupid fuck why don't you get a job instead of leeching off of people:) no one wants to buy your shitty gifs GET A JOB

lmao i love the smiley face but like bestie if nobody wanted to buy my so-called shitty gifs then tell me why i have people buying those so-called shitty gifs

#answered !#also just curious when was the last time you went outside and touched grass #maybe smelled a flower #pet a dog or like sat in the sunshine #because it seems like you need some therapy #kinda embarrassing to be sending anon hate in 2022 #like seriously what do you get out of this ? did this bring you serotonin ?#if you want some serotonin just like bake some cookies bestie idk what to tell you #also jobs leech off people too that's what capitalism is #anyways go eat some fruit or read a book it'll make you feel better

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snowyfrostshadows · 1 year

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It's all fun and games until it isn't

#dumb doodles #master m au #1) i think it'd be neat if he tagged along with the other minions sometimes not to help but to follow around the hero(s) to make them laugh #the princess and the green guy are doing this hero thing all WRONG #they should be happy and smile because that's what heros are supposed to DO #the turtle gets it; he seems thrilled as heck during all this #plus....there's just something extra annoying about greenie not enjoying being the main hero and being so /miserable/ looking....#2) ....does. anyone else think mario might... subconsciously internalize his image as a hero?#like; don't get me wrong; he loves helping others and is by default; a happy lil guy #but...it probably is a lot of pressure to be that constant rock and source of comfort #he's probably mostly okay with it and it probably doesn't cross his mind to be resentful or bitter about always being the hero #there's just this small small; easily ignorable part of him that's tired of it #that the mister m persona brings to the forfont in a kinda ugly way if you crack that mask hard enough #in other words; if he drops the smile; then i think his more bitter thoughts and feelings he hides both as mario and master m #are a bit more...obvious if that makes sense #ANYWAYS THOSE BOYS ARE GONNA NEED SOME THERAPY AFTER THIS #3) i. honestly forgot if the mimi fight was before or after the first mr. l one lmao #i just wanted to do some silly puns before the sucker punch #anyways; it's an au; luigi probably isn't collecting hearts in the proper order chaotic lil man he is #super mario #mario #luigi

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variousqueerthings · 2 months

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not a fan of when im doing behaviours that i know arent healthy and im self-aware enough to see them from the outside like im banging on windows asking what tf is going on in there??? can only shrug and keep on being so desperately afraid of conflict to the point that people will treat me badly probably without realising that's what they're doing and i'll say nothing about it unfortunately

#it's cool im looking for therapists but atm. ooh the things are piling up.#me #personal #to delete #i dont usually like posting about myself going Through it but for some reason today was a slight straw on back for me #and i have no other outlet because i need to be vague and i need the void that is this webbed site #recently confessed to some people that im conflict averse and i realise that i dont say this to a lot of people #and now im wondering whether that might be a step in the door #letting people know where my boundaries are on this -- the difficult thing is then letting people know when they step over them #because some people DO know this about me. but dont seem to realise when they're taking out their personal stuff on me #more noticeable still because they're not doing it to others around us and i dont think anyone else is noticing #just me noticing #so how do you get from step a to step b. therapy probably #we're dealing we're feeling the emotion and then we're moving forwards on it #i wish people were nicer though

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lovecatsys · 6 months

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i need to cry i think

#i finally opened up to my mom about everything #and she continues to dismiss this as being just some sort of temporary thing that i can cure away with exercise #even though i sent her a link explaining what EDS is that includes that its a LIFELONG DISABILITY #which she clearly didnt read lmao #i was powerless to explain it to her #and like okay. much of the treatment for EDS is physical therapy which involves exercise #which i explained to her #she still didnt seem to really understand that this is something ill need mobility aids for lifelong #shes like 'you cant just give in'#SHUT UP SHUT UP #hell world.#i knew this was going to happen lmao but i did it anyways because i had some home #i was wrong for having that hope

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 1 year

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Ya boi got a new medicine and a therapist.

#i had another psychiatrist appointment after a year! (i tend to neglect my mental health)#ive been dealing with a lot of paranoid thoughts and shit and so i told her #and she decided to put me on abilify #one of my friends takes abilify! we'll be abilify buddies #and ive realized that i need therapy #ive had a lot of shit happen to me in the last few years #and ive just been ignoring it instead of dealing with it #and now i cant ever sit alone with my thoughts because all of that shit comes to haunt me #i just dont know how to deal with it on my own #and for awhile i swore i would never go back to therapy. because my first therapist was a piece of shit #'just get used to the fact that your best friend might die so that it doesnt hurt so much if it happens' -about my suicidal best friend #'think about what your mom's going through' -about my transphobic mom who made me want to kill myself #but i realized that my life and mental state is only going to get worse if i dont deal with the shit ive got going on #and when i called to schedule. i just called for the first available therapist. and the guy said 'oh she'll be perfect for you'#and i trust this man that ive never met #i looked up the therapist. she seems lovely #she better be because i have like four appointments scheduled. the man on the phone did that so i wouldnt lose out on any appointments #he was very kind #im glad im gonna get some help. still scared. but looking forward to it

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thoughts-reasons · 2 years

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Twitter

#songs are meant to be heard so dear listener wouldn't be out of place #kermit being the literati that she is says it's a subversion of a preface #advice columns letters to the editor fans' mailbags and the like used to be more ubiquitous #some are still around like modern love but most have been replaced by podcasts #pouring out my heart to a stranger 🤝 goin' crazy for anyone who would listen to my stories 🤝spilling out to you for free #there was no use for the pseudonym anymore so why bring it out of the problem attic again?#maybe it's because (some) wouldn't take (her™️) word for it if (they) knew who was really talking™️ 🤷🏻‍♀️🥂#yes last night why wouldn't we get along? she's cool she's a brooklyn baby 😝#what was that famous rep line pics or it didn't happen? 😉#they literally thought i was being serious™️? oh man this is why kermit said she almost feels bad for them 🤣#happy for the guys earning their 5th consecutive number 1 album #never doubted the 1M when they work together we get magic™️ when they don't we still get magic but mostly a compelling need for therapy™️#(lurkers this is sarcasm since it seems you still cannot tell)#repetition is advertising 101 🍀#i wrote what i wrote american f1 driver soon if it's not the logan guy it'll be someone else because mouse™️ empire contract 🏁#kermit's mailbag #originanon

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goethitee · 1 year

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oooo i think im in trouble…….

#uhh tw for animal abuse & death mention ig #TO CLARIFY IF YOU DONT READ THE REST OF THE POST I AM NOT THE ANIMAL ABUSER #anyways idk if any of you remember the friend of mine that makes poor dog decisions but thats who im talking abt here.#the puppy mill mini aussie of hers has been causing her problems (shocker). but these problems are mainly there because she literally does -#- nothing w her dogs. like she keeps them crated like all the time. theyre barely outside for like 5 min at a time. i only just recently -#- got her to try training them to settle. which hasnt been going well because she never actually house trained the mini aussie. she seems -#-to think omce a dog reaches a certain age theyll be well behaved. but she texted me tonight complaining abt the mini aussie again & said -#-abt how he chewed a hole through the bottom of his crate & carpet down to the hardwood. she then said abt how her bf was so pissed he said-#-if he does it again hes gonna take the dog outback & shoot him. she seems to think this is an okay thing to say.#anyways i told he needed to get the fuck over it shit like that happens when you have dogs your shit gets damaged.#i also finally told her that the fucking bones dont cut it the dogs needs mental enrichment & traing & that she needs to work him.#she mad at me now lol but im just so fucking sick of her shit & how she treats her dogs. complains abt them not being good while doing noth-#-ing to fix it. i feel terrible for her poor dogs. this also isnt the first time ive heard her say smth abt the bf threatening to shoot the-#-dog. ‘its just the way he is!’ thats not fucking excuse he needs fucking therapy if he thinks that that is an okay thing to say.#& honestly from what i know of him he might actually do it at some point. idk our bloodhound that we had to euthanize for aggression chewed-#-on the fucking walls of our house but never once did we even think of ‘taking him out back & shooting him’ & he did that after the first -#- attack.#also shooting your dog is illegal so i will definitely be calling someone if it happens.#i also told her to just get rid of him if she couldn’t handle him cuz im sick of her shit lol

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paskariu · 2 years

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does flat out forgetting to eat actually count as an eating disorder?

duck duck going just gets me multiple articles contradicting each other and nothing applies to me by more than like 25%.

quick compilation of the results: adhd, depression, dementia, alzheimers anorexia and stupid bitch disease

all of that either categorised as eating disorder or eating which might develop into a disorder (which i don’t think will happen because this has persisted for my entire life)

like up until i realise i haven’t had a proper meal all day i just don’t notice and once i do eventually (because damn by that point I feel like shit and shaky) i don’t feel like eating. i don’t even care about my weight or anything i just don’t feel like it. oh mortal vessel why the fuck do you require sustainance. i wanna be a plant. just eating passively

but then i don’t always not notice, some days i do, some i don’t though on school/work days i’m generally better about it since the lunch times are stricter

#one person even judgested therapy for it which in my case seems like a little much #vent #honestly man i don't know what this shit is and why it keeps on happening #i feel too stupid to keep myself alive like brain how in the fuck #in case it wasn't obvious it's like 6:30pm and all i've eaten was a bag of doritos and some chocolate this morning #i feel like i'll fold over when a gust of wind hits me #alas the oven has been turned on and my fav go-to don't-want-to-eat food is in the making #one dude in the suggestions got creative and suggested muscle training because then you NEED to eat more food so the body's hunger signals #become stronger #which i mean might be stupid enough to work #i always wanted to be stronger but i am too lazy to move my ass into a gym #i wanna be a butch but alas i'm 168cm or 5'4 tall and built like a toothpick like just naturally very skinny #wow this rambling got longer than i expected sorry not sorry in advance #i just need to scream into the void for a lil bit #riu speaks

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insanechayne · 9 months

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~ ~ ~

#ten hours #you can’t talk to me once in ten hours #and then I feel annoying when I message you even to send a silly picture or something else innocuous #goodness knows I won’t ever actually mention any of this to you because that’ll just start a fight and seem like I’m pressuring you #idk this stuff just makes me feel like a burden and like you don’t really want to talk to me in the first place #and I know that’s not the truth and you’re always so kind about reassuring me whenever I need it #but still this kind of stuff really hurts and I don’t know what to do to stop feeling this way #just one more thing I’ll need to discuss in therapy at some point #I’m too damn sensitive to these kinds of things #personal

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inkskinned · 5 months

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the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

#writeblr #i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat #and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity #1. i am 30.#2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months.#3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did #i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her #and secondly.#OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT #briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing

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inkykeiji · 1 year

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LMAO Clari, I feel like with your latest post you're on my wavelength. I've never liked Natsuo much and I think this attitude right here is why.

aaaah i’m so disappointed in him!!!!!! i understand that emotions are high, and natsuo genuinely does have his father’s temper, and this only confirms to me how downright ruthless he’d be in a verbal fight, but i’m still rly upset with the way he’s speaking to him :( especially as touya’s like, not only on his deathbed but almost regressing in the way he’s speaking. your big brother is about to fucking die, natsuo, the least you could do is show him a lil bit of love!!!

i was just saying this to my best friend but i’m really hoping this is just a hair-trigger emotional response to everything that’s going on at this current moment and that natsuo will come to his senses a little more after he has his initial outburst of fury. he seems like the type to let his intense emotions overpower and override all of his wits and logic—black out and blot out all of his rational thoughts as they completely surge out of fucking control—and then to come back to himself and make a little more sense after that torrent of rage has passed. i guess we’ll see tho!!!

#it definitely does hurt to see him speaking to him like that #and insulting him #when what touya NEEDS (in addition to intense therapy) is some love #and compassion!!!!! come on my dude where is ur sympathy!!!!#i dunno but i’ll be rly upset if natsuo continues to speak to him like this even after that initial wave of emotion stops drowning all his o #other thoughts #we shall see how it unfolds!!!!#it just seems so like ??? out of place kinda? because of the way natsuo has always spoken about touya before #idk but this is why i hate it when people write him too soft LMAOOOOOO #the man has serious anger issues and he holds a grudge like a champ #you cannot tell me that he wouldn’t be at least a little toxic in a relationship #possessive and jealous for SURE #but anyway~#thank u for ur thoughts anon bb!!#i hope ur having a lovely sunday <33 #stay safe and stay hydrated!#inky.bb #clari gets mail

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