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th3w00ds · 3 months

Note

Hey I saw your requests were open? If that's still the case then I'd love to request a Natemare x reader that has some sanders sides fic where the reader has been dating Mare for awhile so the reader decides to finally introduce Mare to there best friend of many years, Virgil. If that's possible, please and thank you.

Of course!!!

I Lie Inside Myself for Hours

@namelessmunster

Title From: Imaginary by Evanescence

Fandom: Youtuber Egos + Sanders Sides

AU: None

Content Warnings: Not proofread

----------------------------------------

As you were standing in front of the Sides house, it occurred to you for the fifteenth time that day that Natemare, your boyfriend, had never met the Sides. You didn’t know if they’d even get along.

The reason you were here other than introduce him to your friends was to see your best friend of many years, Virgil. He was an anxious guy, but somehow you were closest to him out of the Sides rather than one would probably expect your best friend to be, like Logan or Patton.

But Anxiety was the one who you were closest to. You’d known Virgil for around five years, since Thomas had invited you over saying that he “wanted you to meet a few people.” It turned out that those people were parts of himself.

You sighed, and knocked on the door, then turning to Mare. “It won’t be that long, usually Roman- Creativity gets the door within a few seconds,”

“Yeah? Wellll, I can’t help but notice it’s taking a few more than that, isn’t it Y/N?” He said sarcastically, looking around the outside of the house. Oh yeah, he’d for sure get along with Virgil.

Around ten seconds later Roman opened the door, and he smiled at the sight of you. He called out to the other Sides, “Y/N IS HERE!!!”

Then he looked back at you and his eyes turned to Mare. “Ohh, who is this now? Your lover? What’s his name? How did you meet-“

“Roman!! Shut!!!” You said, interrupting him. That man never stopped with his romance questions if he figured one was interested in it.

“Awww… fine, I’ll save them for later. But do I at least get to know his name?” Roman said.

You looked over at Mare, and he smiled.

“I’m Natemare, but if you want you can call me Mare,” He told Roman, shaking his hand.

“Well.. come in! Virgil will be happy to see you, Y/N!” Roman said, moving out of the way.

“Who’s Virgil?” Mare asked you as you both walked into the house.

“He’s my best friend,” You answered.

“And you’ve never introduced me to him? Shame upon you,” He said jokingly, “How dare you not introduce me to everyone you know.”

“Shut up,” you said, laughing a little.

“Hmm… no!” He replied. “Y’know, I am curious as to who the other Sides are. Roman was certainly a… character,”

“That’s just how he is,” you said. You then saw Logan, Patton and Janus hanging out in the living room, playing some kind of board game.

Patton looked up first, and pretty much shouted in excitement. “Y/N! You’re here! I’m so happy, it’s been way too long,”

“Patton, it has been two weeks since Y/N has last visited.” Logan said, placing a piece on the board. Janus looked at you, slightly smiling, and then he looked at Mare.

“Oh, great, there are two emos here now.. I’m so thrilled,” He said, and he rolled his eyes.

“You remind me of my younger brother,” Mare said to Janus.

“Amazing,” Janus said flatly. Patton then went up to Mare.

“What’s your name? Are you human? Also, I’m Patton, Thomas’s Morality, Logan is his Logic and Janus is his… Deceit,” He said.

“I’d suggest stopping with the rampant questions, Patton, he’s already been questioned enough by Roman,” Logan said.

“It’s okay. I’m Natemare, and no, I’m not human. I’m a siren,” Mare answered Patton.

“Like the beings that lured sailors to their deaths in Greek Mythology?” Logan asked.

Mare nodded, “Exactly. Most people I meet get scared when they hear that, so it’s kind of new that people aren’t.. you know, trembling and backing away just because of that.”

“It wouldn’t be nice to judge you based on what you are!” Patton said, smiling once more.

“Hypocrite,” Janus quietly said with anger while out of earshot of Patton. Which was true. Out of all the light Sides, Patton was the one who judged the dark Sides based on what they were the most.

“That’s nice. It was nice meeting all of you, Y/N has mentioned all of you once or twice,” Mare said.

“You did?!” Patton said happily.

You nodded. “Yeah. Also, Patton, do you know where Virgil is?” You asked. You hadn’t seen the emo nightmare yet, which was odd. Usually he was one of the first to come talk to you when you came over.

“Yes, where is that raccoon? He disappeared right when you showed up,” Janus said.

“He’s downstairs,” Patton replied, “Probably on the couch, poor kiddo. I wonder what’s up with him today..”

It might be the fact a new person is here. Virgil didn’t like new people, he never has. It took him a while to trust you, and even more time for him to open up to you.

“Thank you! We’ll go check on him,” You said, walking down the stairs with Mare.

“So.. if the Sides represent things about Thomas, then what is Virgil?” Mare asked you.

“Virgil is Thomas’s Anxiety,” you answered his question. “He’s not really a people person,”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Mare said. You two reached the bottom, and entered into a second living area.

You looked around for your best friend, and then saw him on the couch, like Patton said he might be.

He was on his phone, probably scrolling on Tumblr, with his hood up and his headphones in. The music was loud, so loud that you could hear it. It was “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” by My Chemical Romance, which was Virgil’s self proclaimed “theme song” and one you two often listened to together.

Well, if listening is counted as screaming the lyrics to it at 3am, then yes, you listened to it together.

You went up to him and tapped his shoulder a few times. “Virgil??”

He paused his music and looked up, not taking off his hood. “What?” He said with an annoyed tone. You were stunned for a moment. He hadn’t been this blatantly annoyed with you since before you were best friends.

“Uh- I want you to meet someone,” You said, gesturing to Mare. Virgil sighed, and finally took off his hood, taking out his headphones as well.

“Who?” That was all he said. “Don’t tell me they’re like Roman… or worse, Remus,”

“Oh, no, he’s not like them at all. This is Natemare, my boyfriend,” You said. Virgil moved to look at Mare, looking him up and down.

“He’s your boyfriend? Huh. Wait, first of all, WHEN did you get a boyfriend? You’ve never mention this to me before,” he said, his annoyance slightly going away.

“We’ve been dating for six months,” Mare answered for you.

“Six months??? Y/N, you’ve been over here eight times in that time and you’ve NEVER mentioned this??? I would’ve thought that you would tell me whenever you got a partner, since you’re, you know, my best friend!” Now the annoyance was back. Virgil did seem mad, as he raised his voice slightly.

“Hi.. I don’t want us to bother you, we can leave if you want,” Mare said. “Also.. were you listening to MCR? They’re one of my favorite bands, and I’m Not Okay is a good song.”

Virgil was silent for a few moments, and then spoke. “No, you guys can… stay if you want. I want Y/N here at least,” He said.

“Alright,” You said. “Can I sit next to you?” You asked. Virgil simply nodded, and moved so you could sit next to him.

You sat down, and Mare sat down too. You moved closer to him, and Virgil sort of.. glared?? Does he think that just because you have a boyfriend, you’re going to abandon him or something?

“Virgil.. I’m not going to leave you, and I’m not going to stop being friends with you just because I have a boyfriend,” You said, trying to reassure him due to his unspoken feelings.

“Who said I thought that? I wasn’t saying that,” He said. Mare laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna steal your best friend from you or something,”

Virgil… actually laughed at that. That was a good sign.

That was probably the quickest time he laughed at something someone he just met said, even when you had first met him.

You could tell they’d get along great. Eventually.

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snowdice · 11 months

Text

Face the Music (Sometimes Labels Shift Series)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan/Patton, (background) Patton & Virgil, Logan & Virgil

Characters:

Main: Patton, Logan

Mentioned: Virgil

Summary: Patton and Logan have a small chat about healing between Wind Symphony and Wind Symphony: The Sequel.

This is a dealing with events set after my story Sometimes Labels Fail.

Notes: Superhero AU (not that it matters), past emotional abuse, references to a nontypical trigger, though said trigger has been dealt with in therapy and is mostly under control though not gone

“You don’t have to go,” Logan said when Patton was halfway through pulling off his shirt. Patton finished pulling off the shirt to squint at him. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, so Logan’s form was blurry, but he was sitting on their bed looking at him.

“I know I don’t have to go,” said Patton. He turned to grab the sleeping shirt he’d set out and pulled it over his head.

“Virgil wouldn’t care,” Logan said. “I would be the more likely candidate to take him shopping for such a thing considering the research I’ve done into the topic anyway. I doubt he has any expectations that you will come.”

Patton frowned as he slipped his glasses back onto his face, turning Logan from a blurry mess of blue into a man wearing a blue t-shirt. “Maybe he wouldn’t,” Patton said, “but you don’t know that.”

“Patton,” Logan said, his brow creased in the way that it did only when he was attempting to do a very difficult math equation or was trying to process emotions on the fly. “You once almost had a panic attack because a musician attempted to hand you a violin.”

“That was years ago,” Patton bristled, “and I’d been having a bad day. The violin was not the problem.”

“Perhaps not,” Logan agreed, “but it was a problem.”

“A music shop is not a house of horrors for me,” Patton said. It was the truth even if it felt just a bit like a lie. What he remembered from the music shop of his childhood, the one he’d have to go to for new music books every time he completed his old ones, was an old man who would freeze Patton in place with his gaze (even when he wasn’t actually doing so with his powers), ancient instruments on the walls that Patton’s young mind had imagined being used in blood rituals, and an overwhelming sense of foreboding. He thought normal music shops probably were not like that.

Logan was still frowning, so Patton crossed to the bed and reached for his face. He kissed him on the nose.

“I want to be there,” he told Logan. “Playing the clarinet is something that Virgil loves, and I want to support him in every way I can. I will not be like my mother and that both means not making him play an instrument if he doesn’t want to and encouraging him to do so if he does want to.”

It was easier said than done. If Patton had ever gotten joy from playing a violin, he did not remember it. Thoughts of playing a musical instrument filled him with an uncomfortable squirming sensation even after all of these years. It was a knee-jerk reaction to not want Virgil to experience the same thing, but he was not his knee-jerk reactions. He’d been very careful to keep his instinctual thoughts to himself (and occasionally to Logan when it felt unhealthy to keep them bottled up).

Virgil liked playing music. It made him happy. Sometimes Patton had to remind himself of that in order to react appropriately, but that was okay. It was a little more effort in an area most people wouldn’t even have to think about, but it was worth it.

“He does want to,” Patton continued, “so even if that desire isn’t something I will ever be able to relate to, I still need to show up.”

The face between Patton’s hands still seemed unsure. “This is just a small thing,” Logan said. “We already know you’ll be going to all of his performances. You can show up for him without going on this specific outing.”

“Life is made up of small things,” Patton said, shaking his head, “and it’s also short. I am a 56-year-old man. I refuse to live my life in fear of a string instrument. Anymore.”

“Still,” Logan said, reaching up to cup Patton’s hand still on his cheek.

Patton just rolled his eyes fondly. “I appreciate the concern,” he said, “but I’m going.”

Logan opened his mouth to speak.

“No more talking,” Patton said, using his hands to gently push Logan back onto the bed. He leaned most of his weight on him, though his toes still touched the floor. “Just cuddles.”

Logan hesitated, but then gave in. “Very well,” he agreed and then paused a moment. “Could we perhaps cuddle in a more reasonable position?”

“No,” said Patton, tucking his head into Logan’s chest with a smile. Logan sighed under him and reached up to pat his hair.

Patton knew he’d be able to face any music store as long as Logan was with him.

“Face the music,” Patton whispered with a giggle. Logan groaned.

Want to read more? Click below!

Labeled Master Post.

My Masterpost.

#sanders sides #patton sanders #logan sanders #mentioned virgil sanders #labeled universe #sometimes labels shift #platonic moxiety #past child abuse #past emotional abuse #adriana writes #not pieces fic

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casey-complains · 6 months

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What do you think about rewatching the earlier episodes. Im thinking of doing it but im scared il end up not liking it or that it benefits ts in a way.

Also I know you talked about when people started feeling it got bad, and I realise im an outlier being this early but I didnt like it once the new sides started appearing like remus. I think its because it upped in produktion Value at that point i remember it being fun when we saw the sides room now and again but once it was constant i really missed the homemade vibes.

i have.. a complicated relationship with the older videos. on one hand, im deeply nostalgic for sanders sides, and the older videos bring that out the most. it really did seem like a silly passion project thomas had, and something he used as a way to deal with his issues - like you said, homemade vibes!

on the other hand, it feels like looking back on good times with an ex partner youre on bad terms with. sure, its nice to remember when everything felt amazing, but it just reminds you of how bad things are now.. i cant look at old sasi without "this show isnt good anymore" at the forefront of my mind. plus the comments along the lines it being two weeks or so since thomas posted... some things age better than others

there was a point i was going through some old saved edits on instagram, and a particular edit of patton in are there healthy distractions prompted me to watch it, and i enjoyed it briefly! but rewatching the whole series would be too much of an emotional rollercoaster for me tbh

also reminded for all that remus' introduction was only two main episodes ago... and dwit is over 4 years old

#kc.txt #ts critical #ts criticism #asks #anon

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kookie-doughs · 1 year

Text

Your Voice

Oikawa Tooru X Reader

-In a world where only a few people has a soulmate, and they are burdened with a disability until they meet their other half.

Chapter 8: Soulmate

Italic is signed, Bold is written

School hasn't been easy. With how close you are to the volleyball team whilst disabled, you were bound to be talken about behind your back.

They think juat because you can't hear them, you dont know what they're saying. They don't bother hding their moving lips as they laugh about you.

"She's so disgusting. She has a soulmate but she's hanging around Oikawa-sama... like OMG?"

"Her soulsmate must not want to be with her that's why she's still like that."

"What a whore. I heard she's also clinging around Matsukawa and Hanamaki."

"If I had a soulmate and it's her. I'd rather stay disabled, she's disgusting."

This was why you walk with your head down most of the time.

But then you also get reminded why you don't do that. You bump your head into someone.

He had short-cropped blond hair with two black stripes running across the sides of his head, just above the ears, wearing his uniform. He looked down on you with a scowl.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? "

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you. "

"Fucking idiot. "

He then proceeded to walk away. As rude as he was, you were shocked and maybe even amazed as he knew to sign at you.

You checked behind you to maybe see his back and your assumptions were true, he was someone with a soulmate.

In Aoba Johsai, those with soulmates have a different uniform from others. And at the chest of their uniform it says which of the senses they've lost. He must've seen yours. It was too bad you didn't get to see his.

You continue your way to the cafeteria and there you saw Oikawa and Iwaizumi. You join their table where they had food for you already.

You tapped on the table looking at Iwaizumi. When you got your attention you signed.

"There was a guy while I was on my way here."

He raised his brow telling you to continue while he ate.

"So like, I was walking with my head down like how I always do and I bump into him. And like most people would usually just scream at me or something. This guy he signed at me!!!"

You were flailing your hand around being excited.

"What'd he say? "Oikawa signed

"He cursed at me but he still signed at me its really cool. This is the first time someone interacted with me for the first time and signed! I usually have to ask them first!!!!"

Oikawa pouted, you being too excited about the other guy didn't even realize.

Oikawa was the first. Not whoever the new guy is.

Iwaizumi then tapped the table to get your attention. Which also got Oikawa's.

"You've never really talked about other guys before." Normally Iwaizumi would have a problem with guys, but something about the guy. He couldn't put his finger to it.

Your face flushed, and Oikawa froze seeing it. You looked away from your cousin who was now smirking.

He tapped the table and you saw a paper. "Did you get his name or at least his class?"

You looked down face red. Why were you embarrassed about this. Why is your heart beating fast? He couldn't be your soulmate... could he?

You felt your phone vibrate signalling that your break was over. Without batting an eye to the two you ran out after waving at them.

You missed seeing Oikawa's shocked face. He had an incredibly distraught look.

The guy must've been her soulmate. There was no way she'd have that much pull to someone if he wasn't.

The realization hurt him.

He wasnt her soulmate. She wasn't his.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @wormonastringonastick @the-sander-fander

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theworldofmrplant · 1 year

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we don't really like what you do

Pairing: Loceit (could be seen as platonic OR romantic)

Summary: Logan has always been seen as weird, it's hard to be normal when you're so different than everyone else.

Triggers: panic attacks

Word Count: 592

I originally posted this on ao3 under the username steampunkgoggles ^_^

Logan was used to being different, from a young age he’d always been seen as an outsider, he was different from his peers. He had to wear headphones, he wore skirts instead of pants, he ate special food and all he’d talk about if given the chance was space. It’d never bothered him before though, he was perfectly fine on his own. That was until Janus came along. Janus was different then the other kids, which is why the two hit it off so well, Janus had vitiligo and heterochromia which led to bullying more often than not. Janus was sassy, sarcastic, and brutal.

Logan loved him.

“Eat your food Logan,” Janus said

“Hm? Oh right” Logan replied, mouth full of sandwich.

“You’re so lucky I’m your friend or you’d never eat” Janus exclaimed, picking at his own sandwich

“I am very lucky to have you I agree”

Blushing Janus turned his attention back to his sandwich

“Janus gloves” Logan reminded

“Ah, right” Janus mumbled eyebrows furrowing in concentration

“I guess you’re lucky to have me too”

“I was going to take my gloves off eventually!” Janus remarked

“I do not think so” Logan smirked

Grumbling Janus took a bite of his sandwich.

The two ate the rest of their lunch in peace, basking in each other’s comforting presence.

—

Logan hated P.E. he found it unnecessary and obnoxious, but worst of all, he found it incredibly overstimulating, the teacher was frankly an asshole who didn’t care to read Logan’s 504 or he’d know that Logan did not do contact with others (besides his parents and Janus) and he got overstimulated very easily. This was one of those moments where he could not move, people were swarming him on either side, their bodies too close to his, the smell of sweat overwhelming his senses, he was utterly screwed. Breathing heavily Logan slowly slid to the ground attempting to recover his breathing

‘Inhaleexhaleinexhaleinexhale’ Logan repeated in his head.

With shaky legs and labored breathing Logan ran out of the gym and into the bathroom.

—

It was a while before he felt safe enough to leave the bathroom, but by then it was already too late, word had spread around quickly of Logan’s speedy escape, making people stare and whisper at him as he walked down the hallway. Rushing Logan ran to the place he and Janus eat lunch, a stairwell in the back of the school. Sitting down Logan sighed in relief and sat down, he had a free period and so did Janus. Wrapping his arms around his knees Logan started to shake, he was so so overwhelmed. Rocking back and forth Logan pulled out his phone to message Janus

L: Will you be here soon? Nonverbal.

J: Yes, on my way now.

Dropping his head into his hands Logan waited for Janus.

“I’m so sorry I’m late Mr. Sanders pulled me behind after class to discuss my grade because I totally care about that,” Janus said panting.

Looking up Logan just nodded reaching out for Janus.

Sitting down Janus pulled Logan into his arms and held him tight.

“Do you want me to talk or do you want quiet?” Janus whispered

Glancing away Logan held up two fingers

“That’s fine,” Janus said gently holding Logan’s cheek with his hand and rubbing it.

Logan closed his eyes and he drifted off, the sound of Janus’s soft breathing serving as a lullaby. Janus watched him sleep, knowing that even if it was just for a little bit Logan was finally getting a break.

#-> writing songs of all they're dreaming ;; writing #sander sides fanfiction #loceit #stimming #tw panic attack #sander sides #human au #highschool au #originally posted on ao3 #janus sanders #logan sanders

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grungeeuvu · 8 months

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A through Z (minus the ones you've already answered)

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

My favourite ship at the moment is FengQing (Feng Xin X Mu Qing from TGCF) and I am constantly talking @astrowaffles 's ear off about them. Platonically, I'm always mentally ill about the Shiratorizawa team and how they all support each other. Family-wise, I can't get Shen Twin aus out of my head

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Yaku and Suga from Haikyuu, both platonic and romantic :) I think either way would be really sweet and funny

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Shiragoshi. I see no appeal in it for either of them and it kinda just gives me the ick

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Anything with Karasuno first years that aren't the stereotypical main ships except maybe Yamahina. Idk I just feel like Tsuki x either of the volleyball idiots would go terribly and someone would end up getting hurt.

Also, Yachi is very much a lesbian to me and I'm taking that to the grave 🫡

Also, kawagata doesn't click with me. I prefer reongata, since they're both third years and at least had dialogue with each other

For a non Haikyuu pairing, I've got to say giyushino or shinogiyu - I don't know if it's hinted canon or just widely popular but I really can't care for it. I don't hate it, I just have no interest

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

I haven't altered the fandom with it but I made #RichPrinceFuckerVirgil a trend with my friends back in 2019

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

The timeline gets a bit confuddled here but my first otp was either prinxiety (Roman X Virgil from Sanders Sides) or klance (Keith X Lance from VLD)

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

I scoped out the Skulduggery Pleasant fandom and I'm not planning on going back (which sucks because the books are amazing)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Either Zuko, Tsukki, Mu Qing, or Ming Fan (can you tell I'm a fan of grouchy people with the ability to do good?)

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

As someone very neutral over Asahi, I really have to say that he is portrayed as the ace amazingly. Even though he isn't the main character and can't score all the epic points, he's still an inherently powerful force and you always trust in him when the ball goes his way, as this viewer.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Feng Xin :)

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Reincarnation fics (TGCF)

Multi-chap AU fics (Haikyuu)

ObaMitsu content (KNY)

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

The song "Black Sheep" by Gin Wigmore reminds me of Hua Cheng/TGCF calamities :))

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Sendai Frogs as a forced together bounty hunting crew in a space au that becomes found family 💪

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

DSMP/MCYT - after Technoblade sadly passed away and then the finale was handled so clumsily, I just couldn't bother with it anymore. However, I still watch a lot of those YouTubers today, like Tommyinnit and Jack Manifold :)

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Shiratorizawa Third Years for the win!!!!

@/baguantte has an AMAZING piece of fanart for all of them which I regularly return to look at :))

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Shen Yuan was chronically ill before he transmigrated and he died not just due to choking but because a seizure happened during his rage-eating. We know he's an unreliable narrator, hence why he never mentions this - he hated being ill and felt ashamed by it, so he never wants to think about it now he's no longer sick.

A prompt for this could be Shen Qingqui gets wife plotted and the consequence is far too similar to how he lived his old life that he keeps nearly breaking over it. Could lead to an identity reveal or just some good ol' hurt/comfort

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Yamagata has clinical depression. Idrk where this came from but it's something I very much stand by and have lots of interlocking ideas with so, yeah, no one is changing my mind on that.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Mu Qing (TGCF/Heaven Official's Blessing) - he's my favourite because of his complicated character. He says negative things, the rumours about him is how he is cold and unkind, yet we see his actions and behaviour portrayed very differently. He's a truly complicated guy.

Goshiki Tsutomu (Haikyuu) - I've written an essay on him which I now cannot find??? I'll have to fish it out but basically he's a really well written character whom performs so hard despite the anxiety he's visibly under being in such an infamous team

Shen Yuan (SVSSS/Scum Villain's Self Saving System) - he's a nerd who died and is now a hot guy but has the nerve to complain about it, he's just like me and I love that.

V - Which character do you relate to the most?

It sounds dramatic and emo as fuck, but Mu Qing. I just get him on a very deep level.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Major Character Death or just Character Death in general - I always find it very cheap or unfulfilling. To get me on board with Major Character Death takes a LOT

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

The Girlboss X Malewife ship - I don't mind the genders, I don't care for dynamics... if that ship is in there, it's likely to be my favourite!! See FengQing and KyouHaba for reference lol

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Bnha, Bungo Stray Dogs and a bit of Mob Psycho

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

AHHHHH OKAY UHHH I accidentally got my mother into not just Haikyuu and Demon Slayer but also TGCF?? We've been watching The Untamed together too - she really wants me to read her manga series Boys Over Flowers and I've been meaning to haha

#ask game #space <3 #this took forever im so sorry 😭😭😭

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tscritical · 1 year

Note

Ngl, I'm so glad I found your blog because I haven't been excited about Sanders Sides in ages and I got a weird feeling from when Thomas released the jam ad/video way back when, like one I don't really know how to put into words because it's just a vague, weird feeling. Seeing the more recent posts from him and only hearing about Sanders Sides through fans and super vague progress posts has left me more than burnt out, and it makes me a little upset because I remember being able to have hour long conversations with the group chat I was in when Tumblr still had group chats

I want to be clear that I mean no ill will to Thomas or his team or any of the fans that are still around because the fans that still do fanart and keep the series alive are amazing and it's not the team's fault, and I'm only expressing myself because I've felt this way for a while now; I know fans can be seriously passionate, so I'm just trying to explain myself even if it does nothing

Back on topic, I have no idea what Thomas is planning for the series, aside from the new YouTooz and new plushies, maybe more, but I don't know if the finale is on that list, and if it is, I don't think it's high on that list

Idk, tl;dr of this whole thing is thank you for what you're doing and I'm happy to have found your blog because it makes me feel validated(in a weird sort of way, sorry😅) that I'm not in the wrong for losing the love I had for a series and the respect(if that's the right word) and whatnot for its creator

i really appreciate asks like this cos sometimes i get worried that like. im gonna run out of steam, or like, it’s gonna get tiring posting a bunch of criticism and stuff. but then im reminded that what im doing is validating to people who feel the same way i do, and it’s like a surge of motivation to keep this blog afloat

anyway, thank you for this <3

#and i agree with the no ill will part!!#this blog does not condone actual like. hatred? if thats the word #like if i ever get any asks that are. genuinely violent or hateful or whatnot ill probably just delete them #thats not what we’re here for!!!! we want thomas to talk to us we dont want his head on a stick jsdjdj #asks #is this crit? idk

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smallchaoscryptid · 1 year

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hullo im very late but 🎢✨💖✅ !! -kai

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride? I think 'I'll Walk Through Fire For This' was my wildest ride because I kept on changing the plot as I wrote it to the point there were times where I wasn't even sure what was going to happen in the fic. Plus the whole fic itself is full of ups and downs... I should probably update that today....

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉 I'm really good at coming up with interesting plots and weaving them into a complete idea if not eventually a complete fic.

💖 What made you start writing? I've always been a big reader (I'm trying to get back into reading physical books.) and because of that I was really creative as a kid and writing was a way to express that. I used to have some of my own short stories (they weren't that good) on wattpad back in like 2014. I deleted them probably 4 years ago along with my wattpad and I used to write for the Sanders Sides fandom but orphaned most of my works from that fandom in the last year but you can still find some of them on my ao3.

✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to? My fics kind of all have the theme somewhere about the importance of friends and the effect they have on you. Ex: 'From Phoenix Ashes' - The importance of friends when live throws all it has at you, and you need to pick yourself up. 'You're Gone but You're on My Mind (I'm Lost and I Don't Know Why' - The importance of having someone to turn to and who will help you find what you are looking for and finding those people in the least likely places. 'Come Inside (and Talk to Me)' - The importance of friendship and that sometimes they care more than you realize and want you around more than you think. 'I'll Walk Through Fire for This' - So I haven't finished posting it all, but it has the idea of finding friends who care for you and treat you right and being willing to fight to keep them. 'The Guiltiness Is Yours' - This is my current big wip aka my vampire au and the same idea appears in this one of like the importance of finding people who remind you that you are worthy of love and that you are better than you think.

#william whispers

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thelemoncoffee · 2 years

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If we're talking about Shuichi being some kind of Not Human Horror™, I would like to mention an au I made a while back that included that, though it didn't really focus on saiouma

The basic premise was that Shuichi used to be a regular human kid before he kinda... fell into another dimension and merged with it. This dimension was somewhat sentient in a way, and knew Shuichi wasn't going to survive in its realm as a human child, so it offered to trade part of itself (its sense of "reality") for Shuichi's humanity to keep him alive. Shuichi accepted and became part of this new dimension for a good few years, but eventually he did go back home to his old world.

The thing is, now his body and sense of reality aren't aligned with his original dimension, so sometimes he comes off as a bit of a cryptid, and it takes him some work to remember how a human body looks and works. He still has slip ups, where he'll have body parts that humans should not have or do something that goes against his original world's laws of physics, but he's getting better at it! Look, the humans around him don't even scream anymore when he makes mistakes, they just assume they were seeing things!

This AU was mainly focused on Shuichi becoming friends with Korekiyo because I found it funny to pair up the "humanity is beautiful" guy with the "I traded away my humanity to survive," guy, but throwing Kokichi into the mix would also be rather interesting. Maybe he'd pester Shuichi to show him what the other dimension looks like despite knowing it could very easily kill him

ooooo that's really interesting! Kokichi absolutly would pester Shuichi to no end about both the dimension and the limits of his inhuman abilites.

also the "shuichi forgets how many limbs humans should have" reminded me of the common hc in the Sanders Sides community about Janus- a snake with a human form- having six arms because "he knows humans have arms, but not how many is the normal amount"

#ask kai

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noblest-roman-of-them-all · 1 month

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Well another year and another letter. This is only second letter to both creator and character Thomas, but I have ADHD and little traditions like this help me keep track of time. Kind of.

So anyway, Happy Birthday!

I genuinely can't tell if it actually feels like a whole year has passed since last April when I wrote one of these, but I think that's just because of how much has changed for me. I moved across the country for starters, started a new job, and I started looking more critically at some of the things I was raised with.

In all that change, one of the things that has been a constant that I go back to is the Sanders Sides series and the lessons I have learned from the series and the things I have learned from other videos and livestreams as well.

One of the reasons I moved was because of the discussions in 33 lessons from 33 years. I use some of the grounding techniques Logan has used throughout the series on a nigh weekly basis. The discussion modeled in Fitting In around Virgil’s concerns about the hair color change and the curiosity you met him with helped me to learn how to become curious with my own anxiety before I ever started therapy or knew about the system, and that helped system communication so much.

The nuanced discussion Janus is trying to have has taught me that it's not only okay but healthy for me to think critically about some of the stuff I was taught and Patton's discomfort has helped me to see that it's equally okay to be uncomfortable and to sit with that discomfort.

I know they don't exactly seem related, but these kinds of discussions are what has helped me feel comfortable in looking into other religions and even so far as praying to and interacting with other deities. I shared an apple with Loki today because the Sanders Sides series has taught me that it's okay to move away from things I was raised on. It's helped me see that that is safe to do. And I'm incredibly grateful for that.

And don't even get me started on the last heart to heart video and the idea of having grace for one's self because hoo boy has that been so hard this year. Like, you'd think that moving clear across the country and finding a new job would help me feel more established as an adult moving into their 30s, but no. I still feel just as far behind in life as I did before, it's just in a slightly safer environment. That message came with such perfect timing.

The transparency and the courage and the vulnerability that has been shown in the heart to heart videos has been encouraging, but also just...reminds me that it's safe for me to express those same things. It gives me courage to do the same. That means a lot to me.

I have learned a lot over the years from you via the Sanders Sides series, the livestreams, the heart to heart videos, in all of it. The one thing I am most grateful for right now is that I learned that it is in fact sade to just be human, to just be a person.

It hasn't always felt that way to me, but I am learning that it is. And that has a lot to do with the things you share.

So thank you. Thank you so so much. And happy birthday.

@thatsthat24

#birthday and thank you letters

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 2 years

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Tug Of War: End of Rope

Prompts: Very Soft platonic or queer-platonic h/c story with a focus on the recovery that lets Roman pour out all his love onto someone? Your Roman comforting the others— desperately asking them to let him hold them, telling them they did good, calling them pet names and spoiling them with praise and affection— is amazing! Logan or Patton are my top choices but feel free to choose anyone you like. Thanks if you write this, no pressure if you don't; anything you write feels like a gift to me anyway - anon

Hi there! I kind of might have read almost all of your Sanders Sides fics in two days, so I don't know which story exactly this was in but at some point Roman said the line, "Please let me be soft with you," and truly it killed me inside (in the best way possible). I would absolutely love it if Roman said this or a similar phrase again, and I just really love all of your writing in general, it's amazing! - anon

Janus who is secretly a naga and hides it from the other sides until one day he can’t. He’s also extremely touch starved and nobody touches his scales but when they do he just MELTS into a big NOODLE PUDDLE because SCALE SCRITCHES ON HIS TAIL AND FACE ARE AMAZING (idk if you are even accepting prompts at this time, but if you aren’t please ignore this!) hurt comfort and cuddles feel free to tear my heart out if you feel like it! Platonic DLAMP? - anon

I'm pretty sure you just KILLED me with Tug Of War, so hi *waves* my ghost has returned to beg for a sequel! Preferably with some acceptance for Virgil and healing for Janus and his friendship? I love your writing so much by the way (: - anon

Are you still taking prompts? If so: Angsty Janus who just wants pets AND/or has intense urges to protect everyone because self preservation. Just has to be touching people and make sure they’re okay. Over and over. No romance, only Janus cuddles. - anon

Hey could you do a hurt/comfort where Janus hates pictures of himself cause it reminds him he has a face and his face has scales and he hates his face cause scales? -Nex

I have got a prompt for Sanders Sides, any characters/relationships are fine by me just: Forehead Kisses. More of those than I've found and more of your amazing writing are greatly appreciated, since I love them both very much. Thank you!! - anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: some self-hatred, touch starvation, hypothermia

Pairings: dlampr, platonic or romantic i don't care

Word Count: 4531

It started with him avoiding the uploads. He didn’t watch the footage back, did his best to ignore the editing process, didn’t look at the thumbnails if he knew he was going to be in them.

Then he doesn’t want to spend time with the others in the living room because sometimes the camera is still in there and they’ll want to film with it. He doesn’t want to be on camera like that, doesn’t want to have his picture taken, doesn’t want to be asked if he likes it.

Then he starts avoiding mirrors.

The others don’t notice, or if they have, they haven’t said anything. But that’s fine, he doesn’t expect them to. Their job is not to worry about him, that is his job. He is the one who worries and protects them.

Are you willing to let the cost be worth the reward?

He suppresses a flinch and moves away from that train of thought. He moves away from the memories of wry remarks that it was a good thing there were two of them to keep the others from dying. He moves away from the memory of someone leaving.

He’s cold.

The stupidest thing about snakes is that they’re cold-blooded. Do you know how difficult it is for a biped to fail to thermoregulate? Do you know how inconvenient it is to not be able to curl around yourself to keep warm?

Do you know how awful it is to have to shove your lower half into a mockery of limbs and tread on broken glass and sword tips every time you take a step? Do you know how much it hurts to see scales crawling up the side of your face, your neck, your body every time you see someone else with your face the way it should look? Do you know how cold it is?

It is not worth the risk to have them see more of his scales. It is not worth the risk to have the disguise ripped away and be met with disgust. It is not worth losing the ground he has worked and hurt so hard to gain.

But sometimes, oh, sometimes, he gives in to the selfish need and lets himself want.

He remembers the feeling of Logan’s arms around him. He remembers the whispered words that you are allowed to ask for help. He remembers feeling accepted, not just being accepted.

He curls his arms tighter around his tail.

He remembers warm hands on his scales and the soft brush of a purple hoodie. He remembers slow and patient dry-brushing from hands with green nail polish. He remembers realizing he couldn’t ask for that anymore.

The wounds have closed, the scars have formed, but the ache will not fade.

———————

A side effect of being so consumed by the cold of self-loathing is that many things can go unseen.

A quiet word between Logan and Virgil after filming one day, where Virgil blinks in surprise as Logan offers to continue their conversation in his room.

A laugh surprised out of Roman’s throat as Virgil makes a quip about a character’s backstory, leading to banter back and forth as the two of them mock the poor writing skills of a misogynistic prick.

A soft smile hidden under dark eyeshadow and purple fringe as Patton asks him how he likes his sandwich.

Little moments. Small enough to be overlooked if they aren’t looked for, big enough to start something greater.

Bigger moments, too, can go unseen, if the cold bites at the scales and forces the arms to tighten.

An accepted correction as Virgil points out a flaw in Logan’s conclusion, something they’ve overlooked, and they work through the argument together.

A joint movie review of The Nightmare Before Christmas that ends in a passionate discussion about Disney and cultural appropriation, Roman’s impression of Donald Trump sending Virgil into stitches.

A clumsy yet endearing attempt at baking made by two people who are too giddy at the fact that it’s happening, leading to Patton accidentally spraying flour all over Virgil’s hoodie.

But if the cold is particularly harsh and the bile of hating what form bears the brunt of its wrath is too bitter, these too can go unnoticed.

Unnoticed, too, are the concerned murmurs.

Questions about places in the videos, whether he’s feeling overlooked, neglected.

Questions about the mirrors, are they too bright, are there too many?

Questions about how he’s walking, is he hurt, does he have an accessibility need they’re not accommodating, they’ve seen him using his staff as a cane, are they being ableist even un-intentionally?

Questions that come from all Sides of the Mindscape, even those that know some of the answers.

One of whom is getting more and more worried as his oldest friend slips further and further away.

———————

It’s cold.

It’s so fucking cold.

Janus huddles on the ground in front of the fireplace, late at night when there isn’t anyone else around, and pulls his tail as tightly around him as he can. The fire dances in the hearth and the light makes his scales reflect patterns around the room. He closes his eyes tight.

It’s cold. His scales hate him. The cold worms its way under them and refuses to budge, even as the heat from the fire starts to hurt the part that isn’t scaly. He grist his teeth and hugs his tail tighter.

His own hands are cold. They feel weightless. Empty. Like cardboard cutouts, two-dimensional, not real, not enough. Not worth it.

A whine he will deny until his dying day squeezing between the coils of his tail and he buries his head beneath the cold, cold scales.

“Hey, you—oh, Jesus, J, come on, don’t do that.”

He’s hallucinating. He’s hallucinating because that sounds like Virgil and Virgil would never be here, not now, not after everything, and his imagination is being cruel to him.

“Come on, J, you’re gonna hurt yourself, unwind, just a bit, hey, hey—oh, you poor thing.”

Virgil is not here. Virgil is not here.

“Come on, J, don’t make me play dirty.”

Virgil isn’t here. Virgil isn’t here and his imagination is being cruel and he doesn’t want to imagine what happens next because it won’t be real and he will cry.

“Alright, you asked for it.”

A warm hand lands on his tail and begins to scratch.

A shudder runs through his body and punches a low, mortifying sound from his throat. There’s a quiet hum from somewhere next to him and the hand moves.

“Come on,” Virgil—Virgil?—coaxes, his hand still scratching at the scales, “just poke your head up for me, let me see you, come on, J.”

He raises his head slowly, very slowly, reaching for this to be a lie and for the room to be cold and empty and for his scales to ache, only to see a concerned Virgil staring at him.

“Hey, J,” he says quietly, “you’re not doing so hot, are you?”

Dumbfounded, Janus can only shake his head. Virgil makes a sympathetic noise and his hand moves.

“How long have you been wearing this—“ he waves vaguely at the tail—“under your, you know, metaphysical meat sack? Too long?”

“T-too l-long.”

“Shit, J, you’re really cold. Okay, uh—“

Janus watches in wary astonishment as Virgil gets up and starts to gather the blankets and pillows around the room. When he crouches back down to tuck them into place, he pauses and tilts his head.

“What’s that look, huh?”

“What—what’re you—what’re you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’m doing, J,” Virgil teases gently, “I’m helping.”

And Janus, who has been so cold for long enough that he’s forgotten what human warmth looks like, just stares at him. Virgil holds his gaze for a moment, then softens and gives him a rueful smile.

“So maybe this is my apology,” he mumbles, “for, uh, what I did to you and said to you.”

He tucks the first blanket around Janus’s shoulders.

“You…you’re good, J. I’m—you know I’m not good with words. I’m sorry, okay, that’s—that I know. I’m sorry I fucked stuff up for us. Just—“ he tucks it into place and holds his gaze— “we’re good, okay? You’re all good with me.”

“I—I am?”

“Shit, J, I should be asking you that.” He sets the last of the blankets down and carefully reaches out to cup Janus’s shoulders. “What’s going on, talk to me?”

Janus’s hands are too cold to grip anything properly, sliding through the coils of his tail and off of Virgil’s arms. Virgil makes another noise and takes one in his, rubbing and blowing softly to try and warm him up.

“You’re freezing,” he murmurs, “let’s—let’s worry about getting you warm, okay?”

But as he tries to pry Janus loose from the frozen tangle he’s found himself in, he can’t. The limb is coiled so tightly, so cold, that every effort just sends another icy shiver through Janus’s body. Pained whispers and muffled gasps break the silence as the fire snaps and crackles. Eventually, when even scratching the scales won’t help, Virgil pulls back and sighs.

“J, you need help.”

“I’m aware.”

“No, look at me—“ he catches Janus’s chin— “you need help that I can’t give you. Can I—can I call the others?”

The others?

“Shh, shh, hey, okay—hold on, J, J, you gotta breathe.” Warm hands are on his scales, on his face, soft and pleasant and there. “In and out, J, come on…”

Janus leans into the warm, shuddering a little as Virgil talks him back into breathing normally. He curls in on himself again, even as Virgil tries to coax him out of it.

Is it worth the cost, when even after the dust has settled, you can’t stop hurting?

“It’s okay, Janus, it’s okay, I’m not—I’m not mad anymore.”

Even when the hurt has been patched, can you forget the memory of it?

“Janus? Janus, please, just—just look at me.”

Worry laces Virgil’s expression as Janus looks up, softening the slightest bit as they make eye contact.

“You need help, Janus,” he explains in the soft worried voice he remembers, “I…I can’t take care of you by myself.”

His expression hardens.

“And both me and Remus will kick their asses if they make fun of you.”

And just that, just the smallest memory of when the three of them were close friends, is enough to make Janus nod.

“Janny? Janny, Virge said—oh, fuck!”

Janus winces as Remus almost barrels into him, just saving himself from tripping over his tail. Remus quickly collapses to the ground and rolls out of the way, reaching out to push the pillow back into place.

“Sorry, Jan-Jan, I didn’t mean to.”

“Virgil? Is everything—oh.” Patton’s eyes widen as he sees Janus and Janus watches him swallow questions on the tip of his tongue. “What can I do?”

“Jan-Jan’s too cold right now,” Remus explains, carefully nudging Virgil out of the way and gesturing for Patton to come sit next to him, “we—well, uh, I don’t actually know how to explain it.”

“Is Logan coming?”

“Is that okay,” Virgil whispers to Janus, and when Janus nods, he turns to Patton, “I’ll summon him.”

“What is—oh,” Logan murmurs, spotting the four of them huddled near the fire, “Janus, I didn’t realize you were a naga, my apologies.”

“I h-hid it from—from you,” Janus stutters, “you—you weren’t supposed—you weren’t supposed to know.”

“I see. Are…are you alright with getting help now?”

“I don’t—don’t have much of a choice.”

Logan glances around and must see the wash of concern on their faces—he leans down and nudges a pillow out of the way and kneels near Janus’s tail.

“Virgil, what do we do?”

“Wha—me? Why’re you asking me?”

“You’re the one that called us here,” Logan says softly, “and you’re the one who most likely knows what to do.”

“R-right, um—“ Virgil shakes his head to clear it— “we need to get him stretched out. If he’s like this for too long his tail will seize and it’ll cause muscle damage.”

“Alright.” Logan reaches out and gently lays a warm hand on Janus’s scales. Janus shudders. “I apologize if this is sensitive, but we’re going to have to move your tail.”

“I—I know.”

Warm hands worm their way through his coils and oh, oh, they’re warm, they’re so warm but his tail is so cold that he’s pulling away from them as much as he’s trying to relax and let them move him. The struggle sends bolts of pain ricocheting up his spine and he whimpers.

“This isn’t working,” Patton mutters, “we’re just hurting him.”

“We have to get him unwrapped, he’s going to get hurt more if we don’t.”

“But not by force!”

“Snakey,” Remus murmurs, “Snakey, I know it’s hard, but can you—can you relax any more?”

Janus just winces, shaking his head as he begins to shiver terribly. Virgil curses.

“Alright,” he mutters, “it’s big gun time.”

Janus’s head jerks up. “B-big gun? What’s—what’s the—what’s the big gun?”

Virgil gives him a look. “Princey?”

Oh.

Oh, dear.

“There you all are, I’ve been looking everywhere for…”

Roman’s voice trails off as Janus hides his head in his arms and his tail. Distantly, he hears Virgil explaining in a low voice what’s going on and Roman must say something back. He feels the warmth of the others begin to pull away, followed by the soft whooshing noises as they sink out, one by one.

It’s not that he fears Roman’s reaction to finding out about his…everything more than the others, it’s just—just—

After the fight is over, and you’ve won, will you still feel as though you deserve the reward? Can you let yourself accept it, knowing what it took to get here?

Soft footsteps coming closer and another presence, this time between him and the fire. The part of him that isn’t covered in scales ache with the relief of the reprieve, even when his scales cry out in the cold.

“Little snake,” he hears, softer than he can imagine, “little snake, can you look at me, please?”

He squeezes his eyes shut and begins to raise his head, only opening his eyes once he’s sure he won’t duck away. Roman meets his gaze easily, face in shadow from the fire, and smiles.

“Hello, little snake,” he murmurs, “you look very cold.”

Janus jerks his head in a nod. Slowly, Roman extends a hand to him, but doesn’t touch. The proximity burns.

“Can you take my hand, please?”

Janus’s limbs whine in protest as he tries to move them, finally fumbling his cold hand into Roman’s warm one. A gasp tears from his throat from the effort, even as Roman wraps his fingers around his hand to keep it there.

“Thank you, little snake, very good.” The praise washes over him and he shudders. “Can you squeeze my hand?”

The muscles don’t want to respond, cold all the way through, but he grits his teeth and manages to squeeze Roman’s hand. Roman lets out another soft noise.

“Good, little snake, very good.” He gives Janus’s hand a gentle squeeze of his own. “Now, if at any point I do something you don’t like, or if you want me to stop for any reason, try and squeeze twice, okay?”

“O-okay.”

“Let’s try,” Roman murmurs, reaching out and gently stroking Janus’s shoulder with two fingers, “can you tell me to stop?”

Janus fumbles through the squeezes only to make a bereft sound when Roman immediately pulls his hand away. He chuckles.

“Shh, it’s alright, you did very well, little snake. I need to make sure you can stop me if you need to, hmm? Do you think that’ll work?”

“What…what’re you g-going to do—to do to me?”

“Yeesh, Janus, you make it sound like you’re in trouble.” Roman rubs the back of his hand with his thumb to soften the tease. “I’m just here to help. Virgil said you were having trouble getting warm, is that right?”

He nods, tail twitching miserably.

“I’m sorry about that, little snake…and you’re having trouble unwinding because you’re cold, but you’re having trouble warming up because you’re a little noodle ball right now, hmm?”

“It’s st-stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, little snake,” comes the gentle chide, “it just is. And I’m here to help.”

Janus sneaks a look around the rest of the room. “H-how? W-why did you send—send the others away?”

“Because you’re not just cold because of the temperature, Janus,” Roman says softly, “you’re touch starved.”

He is?

“You haven’t made a habit of physical contact since you started spending more time with us,” Roman says, “and Remus says that since you and Virgil…”

‘Fell apart,’ he fills in, and yes, that—that was the last person who knew exactly how to read Janus’s feelings toward touch.

Is…is he touch starved?

Oh.

“Yeah, little snake,” Roman murmurs, “so I sent them to go gather the best blankets and pillows from every corner of the Mindscape while we start warming you up.”

“W-why?”

“Well—“ Roman shifts his weight, easing a little further into the floor— “a lot of touch all at once can be very overwhelming, especially when you’re not used to it and you’re already cold.”

“O-oh.”

He smiles. “So just me for right now, hmm? We’re just going to go slow, as slow as you like, to get you used to it. Is that alright?”

Hands. Hands on his skin, on his scales, warm hands…he’s nodding before Roman can finish the question.

“Good, good, little snake…I’m going to touch you now, alright?” Roman reaches his free hand and starts to stroke Janus’s shoulder again, just two fingers. “Can you feel that?”

He nods.

“Good,” he murmurs, his hand moving to cup the side of his neck, “what about there, yes?”

The rush of warmth makes his eyes grow heavy but he nods, even as Roman chuckles.

“Good, little snake, you’re doing very well. Just relax, I’m right here, nothing’s going to hurt you right now.” The hand moves to scritch gently at the scales under his chin and he keens. “Oh? Just here?”

Roman’s fingers wiggle again and Janus shudders.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Roman whispers, his breath fanning across Janus’s hand, “please, please let me be soft with you, let me spoil you.”

“What—what happened to going slow?”

But then warm fingers slip up and smooth firmly over his cheek scales and it punches a whimper from his throat. His hand twitches and his eyes slam shut. The rush of warmth is staggering.

As soon as it starts to get overwhelming, Roman backs off, hand cupping the back of Janus’s head as he presses a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Sorry, little snake, that was mean.”

“What’s mean is you stopping,” Janus mumbles, trying to push into the warmth of it, only growing mortified after he realizes what he’s said.

Roman’s laugh gentles away the kindling embarrassment as he strokes his thumb gently along Janus’s scaled cheek. “I won’t stop, little snake, not if you don’t want me to.”

Janus begins to float, up out of his body, following the trails of Roman’s hand along his face. Unconsciously, he starts to move, to chase it, even as Roman chuckles and tells him it’s alright, good job, just like that.

“You’re getting used to touch again,” he murmurs, “that’s good. You’re already relaxing for me…good…good, little snake. I’m right here, I’m right here.”

His voice creates a white noise of reassurance, holding him close, coaxing his walls down. Janus’s control over his breathing slips. His chest begins to heave. Then he tips his head up and kisses his forehead with another quiet: “it’s alright, Janus, it’s alright,” and that’s it.

He can’t—he can’t— he leans into Roman’s hand on his neck—he needs—

“…more?”

“Of course, little snake,” Roman murmurs, “may I touch your tail, now?”

Janus nods, only letting out a small whine when Roman’s hand begins to travel down his neck, his arm, finally coming to rest on the top of his coils. The whine quickly morphs to a groan as Roman begins to rub small circles into the scales.

“I read about snakes with Logan and Remus not too long ago,” comes Roman’s voice, “about the difference between the scales on the back of the snake and the underbelly. They tend to be smaller, a little thinner, right?”

Warm fingers begin to trail toward the underside of the top coil.

“It’s not good for them to be pressed against something cold,” Roman continues, “not if you want to warm up. Can we try and see if we can get you to relax enough to press them against something warm?”

Janus nods just as Roman runs his hand along the row of scales separating the coils and his hand tightens on instinct.

“Janus?” Roman pulls his hand away immediately. “Are you alright?”

Janus is most certainly not alright. The touch of something warm there, someone touching his scales there, was enough to make him shudder from top to tip. Roman’s waiting for him to say something and he needs—he needs to be warm.

“Please—“ he tugs Roman’s hand back toward his tail— “please—“

“You don’t have to beg, little snake,” Roman’s hushing, “I’ll give you what you want, just be patient. I don’t want to overwhelm you. That could be a worse shock to your system than letting you stay cold.”

“Just—please?”

“Is this your way of asking me to use two hands?” When Janus nods frantically, Roman smiles and sets Janus’s hand on his shoulder. “Do you remember what to do if you want me to stop?”

Janus quickly squeezes Roman’s shoulder twice.

“Good, little snake, good job.” Roman gently lays his warm hands on Janus’s tail. “You’re getting warmer, good, do you think you might be able to relax for me soon?”

“I’ll try.”

Roman smiles and leans forward to kiss his forehead again. “Good.”

“How’re you so warm,” Janus mumbles as he begins to trace his scales again.

“Space heater,” Roman chuckles, “drove Remus mad when we were younger.”

Janus opens his mouth to say something else but Roman’s fingers brush between two coils and he melts, shuddering into the side of Roman’s neck. Roman doesn’t pause, simply turns his head to murmur into Janus’s ear.

“There? Does that feel alright?” When Janus doesn’t reply, but doesn’t squeeze either, he chuckles. “Can you melt a little more for me, sweetheart? Can we get you warm?”

Roman’s fingers scritch with gentle relentlessness at the soft section of scales and slowly, slowly Janus finds himself lying down on the pile of blankets and pillows as his tail relaxes bit by bit.

“Good, good little snake, that’s it, you’re doing so well.” Another kiss pressed to his forehead. Roman’s fingers move a little to the left and Janus yelps. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, just…sensitive.”

He can feel Roman grin against him. “Is your tail ticklish, little snake?”

Before he can answer, Roman’s nails skitter around the scales again and he squeezes.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m teasing, I’ll stop.” He gentles, rubbing the pads of his fingers up and down the top of Janus’s spine to help him calm down. “Are you feeling a little warmer now?”

“Mhm.” Janus blinks lazily up at him. “’S warm here.”

“Yeah, little snake, is it warm?” Roman smiles. “I’m glad, you’re doing very well.”

“Holy shit, Princey, that was fast.”

Virgil appears over Roman’s shoulder, spreading a warmsoftcomfortablesafe blanket over the end of Janus’s tail. A few seconds later and Remus pops into view, coaxing Janus’s head up to lay a pillow under it. Patton and Logan follow not too far behind, packing the rest of the pile into place and settling around the edges.

“I told you he was good,” Remus grins.

“Yeah, yeah, shh. I’m tired and I’m gonna sleep here.”

“Ooh, sleep, yes, good.” Remus flops onto the ground. “Me too.”

Roman’s hand stays soothing and gentle on Janus’s tail as he lays down too, tucking Janus’s blanket around the both of them as he kisses Janus’s cheek.

“Stay warm, little snake, hmm?”

Janus mumbles sleepily.

Is it worth it, at the end of the day, after all the work you’ve put in?

Yes, because you can always work to make it better.

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beauty-and-passion · 2 years

Text

Taking on ANXIETY: Virgil’s beginning

Here we are, the first episode in which dear sweet Virge has finally been introduced.

As Mr. Sanders said multiple times, this was supposed to be just a one-time thing. Anxiety wasn’t supposed to stick around. Hence why he doesn’t have a full, fleshed personality: he’s just a figure that Thomas is using to talk about matters related to anxiety. After this episode, the character named “Anxiety” will disappear.

Buuuut, as we all know, things went out very differently. The public loved this new Side so much, Thomas decided to keep him around. And so, Anxiety appeared again. And again. And again. Until his personality got completely fleshed out and he became our favorite dark and strange son.

So, well, of course we will see some strange things here - like the way Thomas introduces him to Lilly:

[Thomas]: Well, long story short, you ever have a conversation with someone, and you think it went well, but then there’s something in the back of your brain trying to convince you that it went horribly? [Lilly]: All the time. [Thomas]: -points towards Anxiety- There’s the something.

Thomas is hinting that the guy in front of him is not “his” Anxiety, but the general concept of anxiety. An idea that Thomas will rectify in the Q&A (and in the next episodes), by clearly stating that Virgil is his Anxiety, not everyone else’s.

However, along with these mistakes/imperfections, we can also see the first hints of Virgil’s future character, some promising details, some interesting choices of words. There was still not a plan behind, but the message was already clear: this character has a lot to offer.

_______________________________

“Please welcome, my anxiety”

Up to this day, there are still people saying Thomas never knew about Anxiety before this moment.

People, do I really have to remind you how Thomas reacted, every time he met a Side he didn’t know about?

[Thomas]: -determined huff- Fine! Tell me! [Logan]: DECEIT! [Thomas]: WWWWHAT?! Deceit?

And

[Logan]: Ah. It's the Duke. [Duke]: Boo! [Thomas]: The DUKE?! (...) [Thomas]: Look, Mr. Duke, I'm really stupid right now. Just... tell me who you are... simply.

Now compare these words to what Thomas said, when he first met Anxiety:

[???]: -pops up- Hey. [Thomas]: WHAT THE HECK?! [???]: Oh, I’m sorry, was I not wanted at this exact second? [Thomas]: Oh, for crying out loud... Okay. Everyone, please welcome... my anxiety.

The difference is clear as day. When Thomas met a new Side, his first reaction was surprise mixed with shock. In Remus’ case, after the initial shock, Thomas asked him who he was, because he clearly had no idea who the guy was.

But when he met Anxiety, Thomas' first reaction wasn't shock. He was surprised, sure... but by Anxiety’s sudden appearance and not because he never met the guy. He clearly knew who this guy was and it’s clear he knew, because he himself introduced Anxiety to us. All other times, Thomas had NO IDEA who the new Side was: Logan introduced Deceit, by calling him by his role and, in Remus’ case, since the name “Duke” wasn’t specific enough,Thomas himself asked the Side who he was.

If this was Anxiety’s first appearance ever in Thomas’ life, Thomas would have asked him who he was. And I know he would’ve done that, because it's exactly what he did in DWIT.

But what Thomas did instead was introducing the guy. No questions about his identity, no shock for this new entry.

And that means Thomas already knew Anxiety. He already met the guy and he already knew him, way before the episode started. Just like he already knew his Morality, his Creativity and his Logic. Thomas already met this Side.

And Thomas himself confirmed it after a while:

[Thomas]: Okay, this is what frustrates me about anxiety. Sure, I get it when I’m nervous about doing something, or when I have to interact with a bunch of people socially, or when I have a big project due, but SOMETIMES it just shows up... [Anxiety]: Yo. [Thomas]: ...out of NOWHERE, and ruins whatever peace I have. Like I’m kind of getting fed up with it. There has got to be some way out of it!

This isn’t the first time Anxiety appeared. Anxiety appeared a lot of times before. This is why Thomas is already so familiar with him: because they met multiple times already.

_______________________________

Tell me you’re a Dark Side, without telling me you’re a Dark Side

He might be a proto-Anxiety, but he’s such a sarcastic little bitch I love him. Virgil being sarcastic is the best kind of Virgil.

And this trait is still part of him! His tongue is still sharp and his sarcasm still good. But also: this definitely isn’t a trait he has in common with another Side, nope, not at all. No similarities at all between him and a random Side like, you know, the snek boi.

Let’s also take a moment to analyze this sentence:

[Anxiety]: Ooh boy, I would like to see you try. You can’t just quit me.

As I explained in my post about the Others, they are unstoppable forces, naturally instilled in humans. You can ignore one of the Core Sides, but you can’t shut down your self-preservation, your intrusive thoughts... or your anxiety. These forces are activated by the most instinctive parts of our brain and work through hormones and nerves, to directly activate the muscles.

Hence why, when Anxiety says Thomas can’t quit him, well, he’s right. Thomas cannot get rid of his anxiety, because he needs this survival mechanism. He can (and will) calm him down, but getting rid of him? That’s completely impossible.

_______________________________

Tell me you’re a Dark Side, without telling me you’re a Dark Side (part 2)

[Anxiety]: He thinks he’s so great. Well, he is not! Look, I’m just trying to look out for him. Yeah, he was invited to a couple parties. If I wasn’t there to convince him not to go, who knows what bad things could have happened.

So... you’re looking out for him, uh? I wonder who that reminds me of...

[Deceit]: I don't want Thomas to be disadvantaged in a world where you can die for not following the laws made in the name of a lie.

[Duke]: What will your legacy be? Will you even have one?

Naah, I suppose it’s just my imagination. Just my imagination. No similarities at all between Anxiety and any other dark boi. Nope nope.

( Support me on Ko-fi )

_______________________________

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#sanders sides #sanders sides theory #rewatch #analysis #thomas sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #ts patton #ts roman #ts logan #ts remus #ts virgil #ts janus #taking on anxiety

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limitededitionsanderssidesblog · 3 years

Text

Orange is Offence

I've seen several different theories floating around both prior to and post the new aside video, Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts. So I decided to throw my two cents in.

So my main cause for concern about Orange's identity has always been that he is never explicitly referenced by ANY of the other sides. They never once speak of him, but he has made himself known before, such as in the episode SVS Redux, when he appears briefly amid one of the videogame cutaways as an orange colored 4110.

This is the first instance we've had of a dark side choosing to attempt communication individually without aid or disguise from the other sides.

For instance, our first known hint of Remus actually comes from the episode The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas, where Roman says the line:

"May visions of sugarplums dance in your head and hopefully not visions of your naked aunt Patty... Yeah, I don't know where that came from."

And later in Remus's introduction song, this image appears behind him:

For Janus, his existence was first hinted when he silences Roman from speaking in Accepting Anxiety Part 2/2. Later when he finally did reveal himself, whenever he would appear it would always be as one of the four main sides.

Then why is Orange different? Why was he able to speak to Thomas (in an albeit round about way through a videogame screen) when he has yet to show himself fully to him?

Well first lets look at what the color orange represents.

A few positive meanings of orange, of many, include balance, freedom, and expression. The most common negative associations of the color include crassness, rudeness, and frivolity.

Next, the newest big revelation in TSS since Deceit's reveal.

Logan's outburst:

Now, many people have been theorizing that Orange is a part of Logan, and that they could be either a dichotomy/set of twins such as with Roman and Remus. But I don't think that's the case.

(I'd like to give credit to @candiecards for this next portion.)

In fact, I don't think Orange has any significant relation to Logan apart from the other sides. Rather, I think Orange is using Logan as an easy target/susceptible vessel. Just like how Janus would only appear by mimicking the other sides and disguising himself as him, I think Orange manipulates the other sides through a sort of mind control. Which is why he would be able to greet Thomas through the 43110 screen, by manipulating and altering Roman's videogame example to suit his needs.

First off, Logan has always been rather short-tempered, this is nothing new. In fact, Thomas called him (and Roman) out on it in the episode Fitting In (Hogwarts Houses!). Also, remember the time in Learning New Things About Ourselves, when Logan grew so annoyed with Roman's constant berating of his character, screamed, and threw a notecard at his eye? If Orange was always a part of him, and can be presumed to appear in fits of rage, why didn't he appear then?

Because he isn't inherently connected to Logan.

But Logan is becoming an easy target for Orange.

Over the past few episodes, and even throughout the series, Logan has been feeling left out and ignored. He was benched in SVS and was skipped and tossed aside in SVS Redux. Besides Roman, I'd say Logan is the most self-engrossed and prideful, believing that he is more important to Thomas than the other sides. He even stated in Learning New Things About Ourselves that he is the one who "maintains order."

However, when we are introduced to the state of Thomas's life in the newest episode, it is clear that Thomas is completely disorganized and has lost any sense of control over minimal things such as keeping clothes off his staircase.

It's then made clear by the way Logan speaks with Thomas that he has been trying for an undetermined amount of time to convince Thomas to reorganize himself, but that Thomas has ignored him each time.

Throughout the episode we see Logan eagerly push Thomas to work on his set schedule, but then conceding several times to Thomas's more pressing needs to deal with Remus and his intrusive thoughts over Nico's lack of a reply to a text he sent the previous day. Logan does appear patient with both Thomas and Remus, trying to logic his way through each set back, telling Thomas it's okay to take a break because of his intrusive thoughts, and trying to reason with Remus to hold himself back so he can work with Thomas more efficiently. Of course, it doesn't work, and he snaps at Remus to stop ignoring him.

Interestingly enough, at the same time Logan snaps, Thomas, who had previously appeared only anxious over Nico, then appears angry that he's being ghosted.

They become offended over the same thing. Being ignored.

Before I continue, allow me to provide a clear definition of the word offence.

Offence (noun): annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles.

As a reminder, the color orange can represent both freedom, expression, and crudeness.

When one believes that their freedom and expression of themselves and their beliefs have been insulted they take offence and often lash out in anger and become crude.

Offence can come from many places, it can come from different experiences, different expressions and emotions; but the reaction that is birthed from that offence is almost always outbursts of anger. Just think of a self-righteous Karen demanding to see a manager.

Throughout the story, Logan has been teased and ridiculed for his love and belief in strict and ridged methods and lifestyles. For him, planning and organizing and due dates are all fun things he enjoys, but to the other sides, its all just a bore and they make fun of him for it.

Logan comes off as (one of) the "angriest" side because he is constantly taking offence from others and defending himself. He is also more emotionally stifled than the other sides and does not know how to properly regulate his emotions, making him more prone to outbursts of anger. This would make it easy for Orange to take over/control him, by using his anger to blind him.

I mentioned in an old theory of mine, What is Deceit Really After?, that I believe Janus is plotting to create a power shift a from the "light" sides to the "dark" sides. And while in that theory I said I believe Janus would try to manipulate Virgil to gain power, although I still think that may be possible, I now also believe that Janus wants Orange to use Logan's offence and anger against him to control and manipulate him instead. After all, Janus was the one responsible for keeping the dark sides suppressed, only allowed to appear if Thomas wished to see them. But now they are appearing without Thomas first giving his consent to meet them.

He released Remus, promising that he would make sure that Thomas would no longer "deceive [himself] about the ugliness within [him]." Orange's sudden appearance could be the next step in Janus's plan to gain control, although I'm not sure what he could have offered Orange in exchange.

In the final moments of the episode, Janus is perched on a tree where he eats a green apple and says "Yes, everything is just fine."

As pointed out by @ethecookednoodle green apples represent matters of the mind.

The green apple at the end could very well hint at the upcoming events of the story regarding Logan and orange as the side representing Thomas's mind, and the side that performs mind-control over those who lose themselves to offence.

After all, whether he believes it or not, Logan has the most say in what Thomas does and thinks, comparable only to Patton, who Janus is in the process of seducing.

#thank you for reading #i made this on a whim #so im not sure it makes sense #ts spoilers #sanders sides #thomas sanders #orange side theory #ts theory #ts theories #orange side #ts orange side #logan sanders #ts logan #janus sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

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notsowrites · 3 years

Text

Untitled Malex 3x09 Coda #1

I am not having a great morning, but it’s not anything to do with this, so I’ve been struggling to write even though the idea has been percolating in my mind since last night. I don’t know if I love this, but I love that we’re seeing Malex communicate and share fears, and really openly support one another.

Anyway, enjoy! <3

--------

Alex pushes open the front door, and takes a moment to stare at the pile of mail on the floor. Evidence of his own mistakes. The bag containing the food Michael had dropped off from the Crashdown to remind him to eat is up against the wall, and Alex sighs. Two days into this new relationship of theirs and Michael was already taking care of him, and here he had been the one to almost ruin it completely.

"Oh," Michael breathes out, coming up behind him and focusing on the same mess on the floor.

"It's fine, Guerin."

Michael shakes his head, already reaching down and picking up the old Crashdown bag, a new Crashdown bag in his other hand. "I'll clean this up. Why don't you go, uh, relax?"

Alex shakes his head. It isn't Michael's responsibility to clean up after him. "You don't have to-"

"Alex," Michael interrupts him, placing the bag down on the table and stepping into his space. Alex feels his hand on his face, and can't help but lean into it just a little. "I want to."

He relents, nodding his head and trying to ignore the mess, heading further down the hallway and into his bedroom.

Two days ago everything had seemed better, like with letting Michael in on everything he knew about the Lockhart machine and the work he was doing at Deep Sky, he would be able to work safer and smarter. A good lie he'd told himself, in fact.

His phone buzzes in his pocket with a text message from Eduardo. It's the photo from the security cameras outside Deep Sky, of Michael standing in perfect view, jacket held open, the words EDUARDO VALENTI I COME IN PEACE written in large black sharpie on his t-shirt. He'd seen the shirt earlier, once things had calmed down, the letters poking out from underneath Michael's jacket.

Michael had been so worried he'd walked up to the front door of Deep Sky for him, and demanded to be let inside.

A fresh wave of guilt washes over him thinking about the desperation Michael must have been feeling to make such a decision. They'd planned a date, they'd made the choice to go out together, to be seen together - and instead Alex had let himself get pulled into the issues that plagued the Lockhart machine, as if it was somehow more important.

Making the photo the contact picture for Michael in his phone is an no-brainer. Because maybe one day he'll be able to laugh about it, and not feel the guilt surrounding this. And he is entirely grateful that Michael did worry about him, because if he hadn't, if Michael hadn't stopped by for their date…

Removing his prosthetic is a chore, his stump sore and aching for fresh air. He debates the merits of a hot bath, but knows that if he gets in, the only thing he'll want to do afterwards is go to sleep. And right now, he needs to also eat something. They'd stopped at the Crashdown quickly on their way back, Michael saying something about making sure Alex ate. He hadn't even realized the diner was closed for it's yearly fumigation until Michael pointed it out to him. As his stomach rumbles, reminding him, he changes into sweats and pulls on an old Air Force hoodie, before making his way out of the bedroom.

Michael is in the kitchen, standing at the stove flipping what looks like sandwiches on a hot pan. Alex stands just out of view, though he's surprised with his crutch Michael hasn't heard him, and just takes a moment. A moment to let himself appreciate Michael, for taking care of him, for caring about him. It's always been a fear of his, and one that his own hallucinations had reminded him of, that he'd never be enough, that he and Michael were destined to always have issues greater than the ability for them to be together.

"I've never seen you cook before."

Michael spins on his heels, a smile on his face, and Alex pulls himself up into the stool at the counter so he can sit down, carefully leaning his crutch against the wall. "Wait until you taste it before you judge me."

Alex laughs, thinking of Maria telling him how good a cook Michael is, the surprise in her voice as she told him about the breakfast omelettes he'd made for her. It's nice that now though, he finally gets to see for himself, though he's never doubted Maria's assessment.

"What are you cooking?"

Michael turns back to the stove, and Alex watches as he checks to make sure nothing burns. "Hamdalorian and cheese sammies. Figured since you didn't eat the ones I left for you, you could try them now."

Alex ducks his head. He still feels awful, for all of it.

"I am sorry I ruined our date," he says, not for the first time tonight.

Everything was supposed to be different. They shouldn't be here, sitting in his kitchen, cleaning up after his mess. They should have been out in public, enjoying each other's company, and not dealing with the aftermath of Alex's own demons.

"I know," Michael replies, sliding a plate in front of him, and leaning against the counter next to him. "But hopefully we'll have lots of them in the future."

"Yeah?"

He tries to sound excited, he tries to sound sure of himself. But all today had done was confirm to him that there are still things he needs to work through, even with Michael by his side. It had helped to hear that Michael had been battling with some of the same fears about their future, about the weight of everything that had happened to them being too much. At least they were battling them together now.

"You know, Sanders called me out - about us," Michael says, and Alex feels him slip his hand in his own. The bandana is gone, even though Alex knows it had been there earlier today. "I called you a friend, and he uh, he sorta saw right through me."

"When was this?"

Michael's cheeks go pink, and he ducks his head before looking back up at Alex. "After the radio tower. He's been giving me shit about it since I asked him for advice."

Alex smiles, thinking of the metaphor Michael had shared earlier. He's happy that Michael has Sanders in his life, someone who knew his mother, to tell him what she was like.

He watches Michael push back from the counter just as takes a bite of his sandwich, looking around quickly.

"I know you probably want to be alone, and maybe sleep for a couple days, so I'm gonna head out."

Does he want that? Does he want Michael to leave? Now that he's here, in the house, in his space, Alex isn't sure he wants him to leave. He's always had issues with allowing people into his personal space, a fear that stayed at the forefront because of his father. But he's spent too much time alone with his thoughts the past two days. He doesn't need more alone time with them.

"Michael?" He calls out before Michael gets too far away, turning towards the hallway, and watching as Michael's curls pop back up around the corner.

"Yeah?"

"Would you stay?"

#roswell new mexico #malex #malex fic #alex manes #michael guerin #notso writes fanfic

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spaceskam · 3 years

Text

a follow up to this fic

AO3

Michael liked the ring.

Of course he liked the way it made him feel, the way it's power seemed to make him feel comfortable in his own skin above all else. It was no longer a power high as much as it was like a security blanket or a favorite shirt.

The power, however, didn't escape him.

He never really had to strain before, but this was a different beast. With a thought he could read people's aura, move multiple things at once, feel around larger areas than he even knew what to do with. It was fun and felt like he could really breathe for the first time in a long time. He did his best to not rely on it too much, to make sure he didn't get too used to the power it gave him, but he couldn't help but enjoy it.

Alex was slowly but surely getting more comfortable with him wearing it as well. At first, he babied him incessantly and was so sure it was going to overload him somehow and that it was going to kill him or something. He still watched him, spent all his free time with Michael to make sure the ring wasn't effecting him negatively. Michael couldn't complain about it.

"So, this group you're working with. Do they know this exists?" Michael asked, inspecting the ring on his finger. It didn't occur to him until just then that maybe he shouldn't just leave it on his left hand like that.

"As far as I can tell, no," Alex said, sighing as he looked up from what he was working on. It was just a notebook full of crude sketches of his actual project. Michael wanted to help, but the thing couldn't leave Deep Sky and Michael couldn't go there, so he simply had to listen to Alex speak and bounce ideas off him.

It was probably the most fun he'd ever had in his entire life.

"But I'm not about to risk them trying to hunt it down before me. I need to be a step ahead, at least. I'm so fucking tired of being stupid about things," Alex said. Michael rolled his eyes.

"You're far from stupid, Alex."

"Too trusting which is a form of stupidity."

"It's not a bad thing to be trusting, it's other people's fault for taking advantage," Michael insisted.

Alex sighed and looked at him. He was so tired. He always did. Michael was never good at figuring out what to do to help that other than instigate. Maybe he could try to persuade him, but somehow that felt like a dead end.

"People are never going to stop taking advantage, so why should I remain open to being taken advantage of?"

"Okay, fine, point made. But still, I like that about you. The way you don't automatically assume people have shitty intentions. It's, like, the exact opposite of me," Michael said. A smile tugged at Alex's mouth and he let it show just a bit, leaning against the table.

"You assume everyone has bad intentions?" Alex asked, "Even me?"

Michael scoffed, his heart thrumming and the ring on his finger all but singing in delight. That was another fun thing about the ring. It always encouraged positive feelings.

"Now you know damn well–"

Without much warning, the hatch to the bunker opened and caused them to break eye contact as they both looked up. Sanders stood there looking as grumpy as ever.

"What do you want, old man?" Michael asked, only having to feign his annoyance a little bit. As much as he didn't like having his moments with Alex interrupted, it wasn't so bad when he knew he had more.

That knowing was everything.

"You and the boyfriend gettin' along now?" Sanders asked. Michael's neck felt hot and he didn't dare look at Alex. He felt like a teenager being caught all of the sudden.

"Can you not make it weird?"

"Weird for who?" Alex asked. Michael's eyes went to him, Alex's face with a small smirk and his head tilted. He looked so good. Happy. The ring was damn near vibrating with joy again his skin.

"We're talking about research," Michael responded instead. Sanders grunted.

"Sure, research."

"We are!"

"I believe that as far as I can throw you," Sanders said. Michael scratched his arm, trying to dilute the feeling building up inside him. It was overwhelming, an overdose of goodness that the ring amplified. "Right, well, I was just reminding you that Jane Garcia is still bringin' that truck in an hour and you're the only hands that have touched it in a decade, so can't have someone else doin' it for you."

"She needs to just get a new one," Michael responded, relieved to change the subject despite Alex's eyes still being on him. He couldn't say he minded that.

"You ain't got no room to talk with that thing out there," Sanders huffed. Michael grinned, shrugging his shoulders.

"I can get away with it, I know what I'm doing."

Sanders grunted in response. "Sure, kid. Just be out here when she gets here."

"Got it," Michael said, giving a thumbs up. Sanders rolled his eyes and closed the hatch, leaving him alone with Alex again.

"You can go get set up, I'm good down here," Alex said. Michael settled his gaze on him again, feeling warm and sated and really not having any intention to leave him.

However, they locked eyes for all of half a second before Alex breathed a sharp intake and stood up straight.

Michael's excitement started to leak out of him and was replaced with complete concern. He sat up straighter, his feet hitting the ground as he tried to maintain eye contact with Alex.

"What?" he said, "What happened?"

"Your eyes," Alex breathed, his eyebrows pulling together.

"Huh? What about them?" Michael asked, mindlessly reaching up to rub them. When he pulled his hands away, there wasn't anything on them.

"They're... glowing," Alex said, coming closer, "Well, they were. Went away when I said something."

Alex grabbed Michael's chin without any hesitation, tilting his head back to look at them. Michael instantly became malleable under his grip. It'd been too long to be otherwise. He let his face relax, let his body dwell in the delight it caused and let the ring sing in response.

"It was like you were lighting up from the inside or something, like you literally glowing. Just showed mostly in your eyes," Alex said, still concerned as he manuvered Michael's head this way and that to look at him in different angles. "It's because of that fucking ring."

"You think?" Michael murmured, still staring up at him. His heart thudded in his chest, his mind going wild at the tactile attention. Alex's eyes widened again.

"It's doing it again," Alex murmured, placing the back of his other hand on Michael's forehead, "You're warm. Warmer than usually. How do you feel? Maybe you should take it off before you become a fucking lamp. Do you feel alright?"

"Good," Michael said. Alex blinked, stilling his movements as he looked at him rather than the glow.

"What?"

"I feel good, Alex," he said simply. Alex swallowed and he dropped his hands from him. They were silent a beat before Alex bit the inside of his cheek, holding back whatever expression his face wanted to show. A smile, hopefully.

"You stopped glowing," Alex said. He huffed a laugh, his eyes scanning the room before landing back on Michael. "So you're a glowstick now?"

"You think it's the ring?"

"What else could it be? It amplifies your powers, right? So the longer you wear it, the more it becomes accostomed to you and how you work. So I'm sure the longer you wear it, the more it'll do. But we should definitely work on you not glowing without your permission every time you feel good," Alex said, watching him still. It was less concern now, more intrigue.

Michael wanted him to touch him again, to experiment as much as his heart desired.

"Okay, just, like, throw something at me if I start glowing," Michael said. Alex laughed.

"I'm not going to throw something at you," he said, "But I'll let you know."

"I don't think it's like an actually problem, just when I get overwhelmed. The ring had kinda helped regulate that, though," Michael said. Alex tilted his head in confusion.

"It's helped when you're overwhelmed?"

"Yeah. Like either a distraction or it's amplifying the good feelings. It's, like, stretching it's leg, you know? It's this thing that has gone untouched for so long and it's just happy to be in use. So it wants me to feel good, wants me to use it. And when I feel good, it just reacts to that and then I feel really good," Michael explained, "It's a wedding ring. It's probably used to being used in that context. Happy ever after context."

Alex breathed, his fingers twitching at his side. Michael couldn't tell if it was the ring or just his own desperation that was screaming for Alex to touch him again. He really didn't think it mattered.

"You we're glowing when I was touching you," Alex stated. Michael nodded obediently. "And you stopped whenever I stopped." Michael nodded again.

"I believe it."

"And you're just... happy?" Alex said.

"I'm spending time with you," Michael said simply, shrugging, "No fighting or tension. Just spending time and talking about research. Why the fuck would I be anything else?"

Alex watched him, taking a step forward. Even though he was already so close. Now he was close enough that Michael's thighs bracketed his legs.

"You've been different since you started wearing that thing," Alex said, fingers catching Michael's sleeve.

"I've been different since I got over my shit and got some openness between us," Michael said. Alex clearly fought a smile and lost, a grin splitting his mouth and the back of hand rubbed over Michael's arm.

"You really thing the ring has nothing to do with it?" Alex said.

Michael shrugged. "I can't say that. I know it definitely gave me a little push, but the things I'm feeling are all 100% mine."

"And what are you feeling exactly?" Alex asked, his hand trailing up into his hair. He seemed to be gravitating closer, leaning down as Michael craned up. Michael resisted the urge to just pull him into his lap at this point.

"Happy," Michael answered, "Obsessed with you. First is new, second one isn't."

Alex breathed out, swallowing hard. He looked away for a moment, but his eyes eventually came back to him.

"You can't say shit like that," Alex whispered, reprimanding him with a soft tug on the hair at the tape of his neck. Michael's lips parted. He wasn't really sure how to tell when he was glowing just yet, but he was sure that he was now.

"Why not?"

"I might get ideas," Alex said teasingly, leaning a little more. His hand was resting on his chest while the other was in his hair, Michael's hands trying not to take initiative and just grab him.

"Get them," Michael said. And Alex laughed. And it was sweet. And he was close enough to kiss.

"Michael..." Alex said, right there. His eyes flickered around his face, hovering on his lips. Michael could feel his breath on his face.

"Alex," Michael responded, finally touching him. He put his hands on the back of his thighs, urging him closer. Alex smiled wider.

"You're glowing again," Alex said, breath caressing his face. It was teasing at this point. "I wonder how bright you can get."

"Wanna test it?" Michael asked.

Alex looked at him, looking over him before he nodded.

"Yeah, I do."

Alex leaned closer, their noses bumping.

And then there was knocking on the hatch before it was opened up.

Alex moved back, flushed. Michael flexed his hand as a silent command to drain him from any residual glow. He hoped it was successful.

"You forgot how to tell time, boy?!" Sanders called down. Michael evened his breath and tried to calm down his body's natural reaction to Alex being so close.

"Yeah!" he said, "I'll be up in a second!"

Sanders grunted in response, leaving the hatch open before walking away. Michael huffed a laugh and looked to Alex who looked like he was on the verge of laughing as well. A couple second of staring and he did, both of them bubbling with laughter and excitement at being caught in such a casual way.

A normal way.

"I gotta go," Michael said, "But you can stay. Won't be too long."

"Take your time," Alex said, "I'll be here."

Michael nodded, knowing he would be.

"Alright," Michael said.

"Alright," Alex agreed.

"Alright."

*Go," Alex laughed, shooing him. Michael obeyed, heading to the ladder and all but flying up them.

Michael's heart and the ring on his finger thrummed in tandem, all singing on the high that was Alex Manes.

Alex Manes, Alex Manes, Alex Manes

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #ill put it on ao3 when i get home

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