"Kim/Clare" by Jean Weisinger

source: The Wild Good: Lesbian Photographs & Writings On Love, edited by Beatrix Gates

Lesbian Courtney anon here I like to think we don't sexualize cartoons but sadly we do. (Not all of us do!)

Courtney I love her... but I am not ignoring her hatred and sexualization in the fandom.

I love myself now, well I am working it out, ok?

But I am Latina and was hypersexualize growing up by grown men as well as harassed sexually a lot times.

I know this bad take or awful thing to say but sometimes we writers use our favorite characters from TD (Me it's just me as a fanfic writer) I make Courtney seem so goddess like status with describing her body type but sometimes the way people expect Latinas to be wide hips, big butt, and etc.

But it's not because I believe all girls that love Courtney needs to be like that because that's bullshit.

You don't need be anything but yourself because you are killing it girl and you don't need to do much but exist is my opinion.

Oh yeah. The point is I need to make is women bodies are sexualized throughout history most our cartoons aren't made by women for women only. Society has failed us in many ways and forms along with sexualizing out cartoons for young and growing minds.

I am at fault too because I describe TD girls like goddess or from 'perfect' women yet it actually something I am unlearning through age and writing. I want them to be pretty but how I write them it sounds like shitty 80's heated romance book!

Looks aren't all that, it's a plus.

We shouldn't sexualize. We should learn to appreciate people how they are.

ALSO... Bimbos are needed and goth girl as well. Lindsay is beautiful and she can be a bimbo and still wear whatever she wants! Some bimbos, gothic, cheerleader, nerdy cosplaying girls, and etc, have been sexualize not because of their soul or maybe they shouldn't be dress like that in the first place. It's because some people are just awful seeing little girls to teens to women as objects/ to conquer and use. (Not all people but too much of them that causes feminine bodies feel awful of existing)

All these girls of TD could be more.

But now it's our jobs to do if we choose to, yes, we need to make safety place for children in the fandom too but a lot of children are curious about the world.

We can tag 18 plus all we want, fanfics of M and Up, and put not for child or minors yet it will take a community to raise these children in said community of TD Fandom. But we aren't their parents who control their search history, can delete their A03 accounts, and take away their Tumblrs.

So the question is how can we do better?

Lindsay

Gwen

Leshawna

Courtney

and etc.

Need better representation, so then write it, create it yourselves or ask someone to create for you, call us out when we fail you too.

Women are more than beauty and their bodies.

But remember not all think like that, I am a Latina who writes of her trauma onto Courtney.

I know that Leshawna is more than we got her hoops, her loudness, and mistreatment is overwhelming to someone to rewrite especially if you don't family members or 3D black teens representation in media. She should never needed be called gh*tto or all that stuff by anyone. I like her loud and proud, her dancing should be more in fanfics, and sometimes sadly some people in your community seem like a stereotype. I love Leshawna she reminds me of my older cousin growing up and she still has the hoops too! Guess what, she is married to a white man with two kids- she was stereotyped and treated awful by many even my own family. In end the day she loved herself still proud her but struggled with outside because people judge her on everything mostly them hoops, nails, speaks, and way she was.

I know that Lindsay is big chested and she can breath, everyone let her breath maybe make her love interest fall for her blonde hair or her eyes. We get it she's big chested... I am pretty sure her back is killing her doesn't need more the fandom trying make her uncomfy. Like if she was real person she would block half of us already! Also I love bimbo Lindsay and stupid act. Yeah I am say it she acting stupid because she was emotional wise, good friend, and even more.

(You don't need post this lol)

But Bimbo Lindsays! RISE UP!

Gwen transfem rise up too. (I feel like I have a whole rant gothic girlfriend trend that start years ago and in anger with bloodlust too. Because you don't actually see them as a person but to sexzaile them and sexual thing to flex on people on online like gross and I will end up in FBI custody for explaining I want fight men for only dating them for I just wanted gothic baddie toy but alive to date to fuck with not a person that actually is person with a soul)

I am sorry for cussing in my rant but I think fandom tends to sexualize these girls maybe too much and I am also at fault sometimes I have to put warnings don't copy this or this not how to treat teens and it's just my trauma hopping out again in writing... make them TD girls eat a sandwich and giggle about baby duck funny videos!

WHERE IS MY TD ASEXUAL AND AROMANTIC GIRLS?

WHERE IS MY TD LATE BLOOMERS AND AROMANTIC GIRLS?

WHERE IS MY TD I JUST WANT TO WAIT TO DATE UNTIL COLLEGE AND DEMISEXUAL GIRLS?

Where are you writer of TD fandom have more representation for the fandom?

I am she/them queer Latina girl I struggle with representation better for my girl Leshawna but goddamn someone save me not her!

You know why? Leshawna deserves the best and better than the stereotype and only being that stereotype. She can be more still wear them hoops!

Also, I am not like full black? I am mixed race to the point I don't what I am anymore. I wasn't raised in black experience, but I have acknowledged most people look at skin tone before meeting you which I don't like that but :/ it happens. Black experience in America is different for everyone but I didn't even grow up in it and that. Some my friends didn't tell half their experiences, but I been there in awkward moments where I was like you know what I am step for my girl and yell this fellow classmate for stereotyping her and fight if I have to.

Point is representation matter a lot and I hate sometimes use of gh*tto because links back to Jewish people centuries ago and people ahhha we need to learn history more stop using words that harmful to Jewish and Black community without least tagging harmful words are at use but writer doesn't support it like such.

That's it for now.

I am sorry and I understand if you ban me for the blog too for cussing and having awful take, I understand and will be respectful leave the blog alone. Love y'all peace out!

- 🧡

So, June was a month! Felt like several, but apparently still just the one. Usually I measure the length of a month in books read—more books equals a “faster” month, fewer books equals a “slower” one—but that doesn’t work this time. I read nine books, so about my average. I think the number of “this was fine” books skewed things, as did The Hands of the Emperor which was excellent, but also very long.

And yes, I’ve finally read The Hands of the Emperor! It was everything I expected it to be and more, and just lovely and charming and cozy and all of things. I am bummed that my library doesn’t have the sequel, not that I’d be launching into it right off anyway. It’s the principle of the thing. The only reason it didn’t get my Review of the Month is because it’s hard to take photos of ebook covers….

On the opposite end of the spectrum, my TBR shelf book this month was a last-minute scramble and I opted for something short as a result. (And a classic, because I hadn’t read one of those in a while.) Tortilla Flat really hasn’t aged well, folks. Let’s all hope my next classic is better.

The other last-minute addition to this post is DIGGER IS HERE! I got the notice that it shipped late last week but didn’t think it would be coming to my door quite so soon. It has bookmarks, plural, you guys! I would be jumping into it next except that I’ve barely finished Shubeik Lubeik and I need to put space between excellent graphic novels.

Next up, though? One of the ARCs I hauled this month is The Frugal Wizard’s Guide to Surviving Medieval England. I’m going to be starting it today.

(Episode Thirteen is my other hauled book this month. I’d forgotten I’d requested a copy from a book rep.)

Other life events? I finally saw The Importance of Being Earnest performed! Another last-minute thing, that. I heard about it near the end of May and dithered about getting a ticket because the theatre was a bit of a trek, and then went, well, when else am I going to see it… Worth it, and that’s one thing off my bucket list.

Hopefully July has a lot of good books to make up for the kind of average reading month I’ve just had. Wish me luck!

And now without further ado, in order of enjoyment…

The Hands of the Emperor - Victoria Goddard Cliopher, Secretary to His Radiancy, the Last Emperor of Astandalas, invites his lord on a beach vacation. He has no idea how this will change the world—or his life.

8.5/10

Pacific Islander-coded protagonist, cast contains a range of ethnicities and skin tones, 🇨🇦

Shubeik Lubeik - Deena Mohamed A Cairo kiosk owner tries to sell off three wishes. It doesn’t quite go as planned.

9/10

Egyptian cast, largely Muslim cast, Egyptian author, #ownvoices for Egyptian

warning: depression, suicidal ideation, death of a child

Shadowlands - Matthew Green Short histories of lost settlements from across the UK.

7/10

The Golem of Brooklyn - Adam Mansbach Len creates a golem while stoned. This is only his first poor decision of the week. Road trip, anyone? Out in September

7/10

largely Jewish cast, 🏳️‍🌈 (lesbian) secondary character, Jewish author, #ownvoices for Jewishness

warning: anti-Semites, white supremacists, homophobes

The Helios Syndrome - Vivian Shaw A freelance necromancer must help determine why an airplane crashed, while being haunted by a pilot.

7.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 (gay) protagonist, 🏳️‍🌈 (gay/bi) secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 author

The Dress Diary of Mrs. Anne Sykes - Kate Strasdin A history of Victorian fashion through the lens of a fabric scrapbook.

7/10

The Gifts - Liz Hyder In 1840s England, a woman grows wings, a storyteller comes to London, a wife grows unsatisfied, and a doctor gets ambitious.

7/10

Black British POV character, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (gay)

warning: racism, misogyny, animal death, medical content

The Road to Roswell - Connie Willis Francie travels to Roswell to save her college roommate from a misguided marriage, and promptly finds herself on an involuntary road trip with an alien.

6.5/10

Tortilla Flat - John Steinbeck A group of friends ramble around old-time Monterey.

3.5/10

multiracial protagonists, largely BIPOC cast

warning: racism, misogyny, alcohol, racial slurs

The Gay Best Friend - Nicolas DiDomizio Dom’s best friends are getting married! Which is great, except he’s having to keep secrets for both of them and maybe he needs to think a bit about expectations and authenticity.

5/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (gay), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (gay), 🏳️‍🌈 author, #ownvoices

Currently reading:

Nothing! I start July with a clean slate.

Stats

Monthly total: 10 Yearly total: 62/140 Queer books: 2 Authors of colour: 1 Books by women: 6 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 1 Off the TBR shelves: 1 Books hauled: 2 ARCs acquired: 5 ARCs unhauled: 4 DNFs: 0

January February March April May

Time Traveling Anthropologists update

In honor of having 2 people on my tag list, meaning it now meets the actual definition of a list, I thought I’d let y’all know where I am on this project.

Part 1: Actual Writing

I am deep into chapter 2. Chapter 1 covered Esther’s first day of work. We learned a bit about how the world works in the 2080’s and met her team. This book takes place almost entirely in the past, but future volumes will explore the future more. So, let’s meet the team!

Esther Dahan: 24 years old. The POV character. Esther is outgoing and a bit awkward. She can be intense and has something of a temper but cares deeply about equity. She is the team linguist, unofficial fighting/weapons expert, and generally ends up being in charge of daily life routines. She speaks 6 languages fluently but is also in charge of collecting linguistic rules for languages that no one knows today. She’s Jewish—there are no borders anymore, but her great-grandparents on her mother’s side were from Russia and her father’s family was from Israel. She’s bisexual. When not in the past, she lives with her parents because renting an apartment only to give it up every year or two would be impractical.

Tony Mourad: 24 years old. He is a bit goofier, fond of lightening the mood, but can also be genuine. Like Esther, he’s pretty loud in general and intense about things he cares about. They will become best friends over the course of this book. He is the expert on fashion, fabric, and and manufacturing history. His hobby is the history of clocks and calendars. He is Muslim and, though he grew up in LA, his family is Iraqi and his mom was born there (when it was still Iraq; the no borders thing is pretty recent). He’s gay and currently rents a small house with his brother, which his wages continue to help with when he’s gone for work.

Valentina Pérez: 25 years old. In this book she’s generally fairly grumpy, distant, and cool. There are reasons for this and they are Spoilers and she’ll be less so in the future. She mostly keeps to herself and is much less interested in the studies they’re doing than her teammates. Her job isn’t even anthropological; she’s the team scientist. This involves multiple jobs actually that they’re just lucky they have a single person qualified for all of them. Her main duties involve sending data home using the circuits in the Time Machine, doing general maintenance on it, and keeping them healthy. She is not a doctor but she has studied immunology and is in charge of vaccines, basic medical care, and the decision when a situation requires returning early for proper care. However, most of those jobs aren’t constant, so she’s always getting drawn into the work of the others and having to observe or write up things for them. She’s a lesbian, has a 2-year-old daughter, and has been married for 7 months to her wife. She’s from Cuba and learned English in college. Their office is based in New York, so their work is mostly in English, but widespread speaking of other languages is more acceptable, so around the office there are plenty of people she chats in Spanish to.

Minerva Myerson: 39 years old. Unlike the others, she isn’t new to the office but joined at its inception 6 years ago. She has been on 3 previous missions and was made a team leader when the religious studies department expanded. She’s generally good humored, charming, and has a fairly loose leadership style. She does get snappy when people break the rules that are there for good reasons, but is otherwise fairly even tempered. Yes this is a little loose and I will develop her character more soon. Her specialization is food history, including how food fits into cultural contexts and the expectations surrounding eating. She’s also formatting and compiling the ethnography, since she has previous experience. She is a black trans woman from New Orleans who lives alone with no kids so she actually does rent apartments temporarily in between time traveling. I think she’s straight, but again am still developing her character.

Chapter 2 has a time skip—16 months in their personal time and 4 months into their time traveling mission. So far we’ve explored the city of Samandar a little, markets and the walls and the way houses work. They have a fairly expositional team meeting and then, a couple days later, Esther is taken by her 3 unofficial “guides” on an expedition to meet warriors returning from the capital of Atil. Her guides are 3 12-year-old girls largely because they have the time and interest to share their lifestyle with a foreign stranger. Also because I thought it would be funny to have 9th century horse girls. So they go to the corral and discuss horse care, which I 100% made up but I think is plausible. Next the men will return and Esther will start talking to Boker largely to fact check the kids’ excited reports on the way warriors work.

Part 2: Outlining

I split the plot into 3 sections: murder, mystery, and [redacted]. I finished the outline for the first part, which actually focuses on anthropology and romance and culminates in the murder, and now I’m working on the second part. As I said before, I haven’t written a mystery before and I think some hints and evidence are going to probably be added in later drafts. I have, though, come up with the first 2 suspects and the actual guilty party. I’m just beginning to figure out who says what and what evidence they discover.

Thank you for listening if you made it to the end of this post! I just realized I haven’t talked much about it yet since I’ve been writing.

Tag list: @amielbjacobs @kingkendrick7

The Vampire Lestat: An unraveling of discourse

Foreword I gave this a highfalutin’ title, because I hoped it might catch your eye, dear reader. But the truth is, the most important word in the title is ‘unraveling’, because it talks about time. And my perspective isn’t about deep analysis or brilliant insight. It’s mostly just a perspective of time. As I get older, I sometimes wonder that no one mentions things that were common place knowledge years ago. Little facts that can turn your view of a character on his head. Or at least, give him more depth.  Which is what I hope this might do. Lestat Today Most of the commentary I’ve read paints Lestat as a villain. A privileged, hedonistic predator who pursues Louis to play with him, fully cognizant of the power imbalance between them, as vampire to human, rich to poor man, white to black man, and deliberate in his choice, as it is likely to allow him to avoid consequences. None of that is wrong. But.... A Word About the Author You’ll have to forgive me, dear reader, for taking a moment out of my argument to gossip with you over a little fandom history. I’m not sure how many people know about Anne Rice. A deeply religious woman, with a penchant for suing fanfic authors. Seriously. She was well known for going after fic writers and a serious reason why the fandom for her work was far smaller and more anemic than the popularity of her novels  would suggest. Because of her litigious nature, she had a significant impact on fan creators across multiple fandoms and mediums. It’s because of authors like her that people used to have to put disclaimers before anything they wrote. Happily, those dark days are over. But it’s a major reason why I think there may be less fandom history for people to discover. Because people reacted to her behavior by...just not talking about her. She died two years ago, so that’s not a worry anymore, in case you were wondering. But there is one more thing that it’s important for you to know, before I go back to trying to make a point. It’s that this very Christian woman, from New Orleans, had a son. One she loved very, very much, and worried over, and worked with on several novels. Christopher Rice is a contemporary of mine, being about two years younger than I am. Oh yes, one more thing. Her son is gay.  Lestat As He Was When Anne Rice set out to write her novel, she was grieving her children. Most critics focus on the death of her five year old daughter to leukemia, the previous year, and the character of Claudia is seen as a stand in for her. Yet, they ignore the protagonist of the book, Louis, who stands in loco parentis to Claudia, her brother in blood, if not by blood. Louis, the troubled innocent, struggling but upright... until he meets Lestat.  For GenXers, who grew up under the shadow of AIDS, Interview with a Vampire is a familiar kind of social conditioning. When I was growing up, the only time you saw gay people on TV or in the movies, was in tragedy or horror. Usually, you were introduced to a sympathetic character, one who, once revealed as gay (and it was almost always gay, not lesbian) started on a long an torturous journey towards insanity and/or death. The not terribly subtle lesson being that while gay people might SEEM like nice, normal people, they were destined for the worst possible fate and would drag you down if you let them. Many of these depictions featured AIDS, but not all. Take the 1980 movie “Cruisin “ for a horrendously farcical take on the genre, elevated from shlock only by the talents of Al Pacino, who was ahead of his time in his bravery (yes, it was very brave at the time) in taking the lead and his empathy and humanity in his role. This kind of performance is why people think he’d be great in Goncharov. Only this movie is full gay. No subtext necessary.  Despite this, I suspect most folks today would be horrified by the homophobia in the film - though they may not realize that ANY depiction of gay culture was a huge anomaly, and that the tacked on social judgement clearly intended to allow it to be seen at all. But MOST depictions had horror and judgement woven through them. Many were smugly righteous and pleased with the death of the protagonist and considered it fitting. (This legacy of this kind of thing is why so many people my age and older get really worked up about negative representation now - we were subjected to a glut of it in childhood, and many of us were traumatized by it.)

Sorry I got off track I know, I promised I’d get back to making my point. But I needed to give you a little context. At the time that IWtV was written, there was no sense in the general population, especially in the south, that you could be gay and successful, with a family, happily married, and live a long life. For many people with Anne Rice’s background, it was seen as a form of slow corruption, with death inevitable, and no salvation after death. ....You see where I’m going with this... right? Unlike the TV show, in the novel Louis was rich, white, and depressed. So there were none of the power imbalances that make Lestat a villain today. But he was still a villain.  One who chose vulnerable young man who was easily swayed by beautiful, seductive predator, who cut Louis off from his family and his humanity, ended his life, and pulled him into depravity. How did he do that? Lestat told him that he didn’t need to hate himself. that he could have love and embrace who he truly was, that he could have a new life, completely different from his old life, have lots of guilt-free sex, adopt a child together, and be happy.  Think about that for a minute.  Now, lets just say, for a minute, that Lestat was human. That he wasn’t a vampire, he was just gay.  You’re with me, right? When you look at it that way, even as a vampire, even with his damage and his dubious ethics, it’s easy to see him as the hero of the piece. As basically just a gay guy trying to get his lover to love him and stop hating himself. And what if he is a vampire. What if, in being who he is, he causes death. For those of us who saw the paranoia against people with AIDS, and the moral panic. It’s just not that much of a leap.  So when you see older people who LOVE Lestat. That’s probably why. He was out and proud and loved himself. Don’t look down on those folks. They have reason to love him - and even enjoy the revenge implied by the darker aspects of his character.  And just to turn the heat up a bit, think of the symbolism of Anne Rice’s “Brat Prince”, who Louis thinks of as angelic. He’s not a prince on earth, and could never be in heaven... so where... hell? There are so many ways in which Lestat is similar to Lucifer, gorgeous and tempting, the vile seducer in whose embrace lies the path to damnation. Anne Rice loved her son. And her book is just as much about him as it is her daughter. And Lestat might as well be Lucifer. So THAT’s why they did that Lestat is so clearly the villain of the piece that you have to applaud the team that made the TV show. They kept the tone and the condemnation, but they turned it on it’s head. Lestat’s seduction is truly about Louis’s humanity, and his villainy turns on his privilege, not his sexuality.  And that’s fair, I suppose. Certainly more satisfying than the original. But some of us have a bit of sympathy for the devil, in this case, and wonder if we’ve lost something in the ease with which we can safely condemn him.  Which is why I wrote this. And I’ll leave it up to you what to think. But I hope, dear reader, that at least I entertained. And I invite you to gossip in the replies to your heart’s content.

Fandom tag!! thank u for tagging me @suchagallabitch 🥰

Your First Fandom(s): i wasn’t going to do this but fuck it, here’s all the fandoms i remember being in: south park, left 4 dead, pokemon, homestuck, the book of mormon, les mis, the lorax, camp lazlo, one direction, shameless us (there’s more but i do not remember currently)

How did you first get into fandom? i liked writing self insert fic and i used to spend hours on youtube watching AMVs to like, bullet for my valentine in 2007 lol i found ffnet and deviantart soon after and the rest is history!

How long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? 2007 so officially 16 years. i was 11 reading south park yaoi

How often do you read fanfics? i open ao3 every single morning to see if any of my favorite wips have been updated. i love wips, i used to not read them bc i was always afraid the writer would abandon it but now i’ll read absolutely anything. i love the journey of reading wips now. it’s like my morning newspaper

Top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): mickey milkovich, ian gallagher, and now retsuko from aggretsuko…i feel like i am in no fandom rn, just passin by. i’m like the old man that lives on the edge of town who still comes to the street events

Have you ever written a fic for a fandom? yeah i’ve written a bunch of drabbles on my blog and uploaded two finished works, both one shots for the spicy gallavich collab 2021 and 2022…i am particularly proud of this year’s spicy fic. somehow reached 11k words and it’s about lesbians mickey and ian 💃 search lesbiangallagher on ao3. but in the past i feel like i’ve written at least one fic for every fandom i’ve been in…and i’ve been in a LOT of fandoms lol but they’re all on my old blog that only og rocco fans know about

Have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? if so, shout it out! nah i’ve never been a fanart type of creator. i’m sure i’ve drawn characters jokingly or something

Share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: since 2014, i have a HARD and STRONG headcanon that mickey is a trans dude

You're trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? i don’t want anyone to get on the shameless US train because it was a whole lot of suffering but if i had to: the episode where they steal the meat from the meat truck. for aggretsuko: the episode where ton and retsuko go at it at karaoke

And finally, what does fandom mean to you? it’s always been an ~escape~ for me, where all my unhinged thoughts are welcome. i’ve seen just about everything at this point, but i still love the idea of community who bond over One niche thing

SECOND TAG ok slay!!!

name: rocco

age: i’ll be 27 in may 😵‍💫

Where in the world are you? georgia, us of a

The meaning behind your URL: i’m lesbian ian gallagher

Your second favourite color: i guess it’s orangey yellow

any pets? my cat, minky and two birds merlin and mulder

favourite season? fall

Last thing you read: new update of dead meet🫣

Last song you listened to: lavender haze by miss swift

What are you wearing right now? black skeleton dress and cooking apron

A hobby of yours: i read a LOT, i’ll read practically anything lol. now that i have a new glasses prescription, i feel invincible

and finally, what are you up to today? currently making breakfast and getting ready for vacation this week 😗

i don’t know who’s all been tagged but feel free to do this!! i am always reminded of myspace with these lol

Houseguests

1/13/23

1/19/23

For 3 months I welcomed Stonehouse and Kerry James Marshall into my house. I checked out The Mountain Poems of Stonehouse (Copper Canyon Press, 2014) and Kerry James Marshall: Mastry (Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago, 2016) from the library. Both are books that you can flip through and read in short installments. In November I renewed Mastry. Finally the due date for both books approached and I gave them back a week ago. 

I am not usually so sentimental about returning books to the library. But these two I had gotten used to. Before returning them I scanned a few pages from each, a digital memento for the box of memories and muses under my bed. 

Part 1: Turning point and arrival

In 1980 Kerry James Marshall painted Portrait of the Artist as a Shadow of his Former Self. He was inspired by the 1952 novel Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. He was 25 years old, and the painting is tiny, only 8 x 6.5 inches. This self portrait marks a turning point and an arrival for Marshall. Previously, he made mainly mixed-media and collage. From this point onward, Marshall has almost exclusively painted Black figures in everyday life, painting them with black skin, with black paint. I've heard artists say this before, that there is one piece that they make that shows them who they are, something that speaks back to the artist and illuminates a clear way forward. 

A year later Marshall painted Portrait of the Artist & A Vacuum, which I am obsessed with and very much want to imitate.

Part 2: "Right now I'm writing a right-now line"

Here are some of my favorite lines from Stonehouse:

very practical… sometimes feelings linger.. i would love to take my basket across the ridge and gather vine flowers… 

In the accompanying commentary, the translator Red Pine explains that in different times in Chinese history monks were given land to live off of. Stonehouse lived during the Yuan Dynasty and was temporarily head of the Monk affairs office in 1331. I don't want to glamorize this system, which Stonehouse clearly has a critique of, but throughout the whole book of poems you get a picture of a very different society from ours, one where being a monk is an established vocation with some supporting infrastructure in place. It is cool and thought provoking as we are currently pressed with the urgent work of crafting a new world.

"i've never been cheated by a hoe," good for you stonehouse… also very relatable, feeling lonely because your friends are out in the world striving for success. 

this verse stuck with me and I copied it into my journal. sometimes i feel a bit desperate in terms of not wanting to make the same mistakes again and again, wanting to break habits, especially those that harm my relationships with others. I really like how Stonehouse says "when life becomes simple old habits end." it strikes me as both optimistic and pragmatic.

hold the PHONE "right now I'm writing a right-now line" is an unreal line, tattoo-worthy, sky-writing plane worthy, very good, very excellent poetry. Stonehouse gets an EGOT. 

In Conclusion:

Those were 2 very good books. Furthermore, returning books means I check more out. Currently I am reading:

Cassell's Encyclopedia of Queer Myth, Symbol, and Spirit by Randy P. Connor, Mariya Sparks, David Hatfield Sparks

Dyke Strippers: Lesbian Cartoonists A to Z Edited by Roz Warren

Act of State: The Execution of Martin Luther King by William F. Pepper

Rock Steady: Brilliant Advice from My Bipolar Life by Ellen Forney

I am finding momentum in reading poetry, comics, and nonfiction, especially any text that is illustrated and/or that you can read non-linearly. On that tip, Act of State is the outlier, but it is so eye opening and righteous that I am locked in. I'll report back later~

she knows my damn coffee order // a wildmoore fic

summary: Pre-canon, in Crows interrogation, Ryan sips her coffee. Grins at it before setting it back down. "You got the sugars right too. You pay this much attention to all the girls, or am I special?" + read on ao3

notes: #WildmooreWeek, Day 4: quotes/song ~ inspired by the 2x05 quote, “Sophie has hauled my ass in for questioning so many times she knows my damn coffee order.”

🦇

Sophie kicks the door to the interrogation room closed behind her. The hot coffee in her hand barely even shifts. A normal person would applaud her great sense of balance, but Ryan Wilder isn’t exactly normal. Ryan Wilder is… confusing. Fascinating. There’s more hope in her and earnestness than Sophie’s used to seeing in their repeat offenders. Call it Black girl intuition, or Sophie’s own hope shining through, but she figures there’s gotta be more to Ryan Wilder than covering up somebody else’s drug habit.

Ryan’s uncuffed for this interrogation — a show of faith for yet another non-violent detainment. Her eyes light up at the sight of the coffee. Maybe at the sight of Sophie too. Sophie’s definitely easier on the eyes than the rest of the Crows. You know, for a lesbian. Which, is what Ryan is. Or bi maybe. They haven’t exactly gone through Ryan’s dating history in their last few interactions.

Sophie crosses the room to set Ryan’s coffee down. “I thought we’d skip to this part of the back and forth.”

Ryan glances down at the pitch black drink and says, "Non-dai—“

“Non dairy creamer, yeah." Sophie drops those onto the table from her other hand. "I'd put them in myself, but you'd probably accuse me of poisoning you."

Ryan appreciatively pours the little cups in her coffee. "I wouldn't put it past a Crow."

"Seriously, Ryan?"

Ryan sips her drink. Grins at it before setting it back down. "You got the sugars right too. You pay this much attention to all the girls, or am I special?"

"Is Angelique special?" Sophie asks. "Or are you throwing your life away for just anybody?"

Ryan quirks a brow instead of getting defensive. It’s almost like progress. “Why?” she asks, “You jealous?"

Sophie huffs. "I'm trying to help you, Ms. Wilder."

"Back to Ms. Wilder. Wow, Soph, and I thought we were getting closer."

Sophie rolls her eyes to steady herself. She's been standing this whole time, but maybe if she sits down, she'll be less likely to get in Ryan's face. It's not even a violent urge. A violent one she could understand. But this.... She doesn't feel a lot. Not normally. And especially not for anyone who's breezing through the interrogation rooms.

She makes a point of saying it aloud. "I don't get close to criminals."

"I'm not a criminal," Ryan asserts. Her eyes harden. "I'm only here because your boys thought it'd be easier to haul me in when there a bunch of guys in the getaway car."

"Getting away from what?" Sophie asks.

Ryan squeaks, "I don't know!" She laughs, but the humor comes out ironic and exasperated. "I wasn't even in the area for more than five minutes. My van crapped out, so I was waiting on the bus. Some guys come running -- and I say guys to be gender neutral, I did not see them. I didn't even look up. I was on my phone, calling my girlfriend, when your boys thought I was involved. Want to talk about implicit bias?"

Sophie bites down a sigh. "I'd rather talk about your alibi for the actual crime."

"My van is my alibi. It's a good four blocks from where they picked me up. Battery's dead on the docks."

"Why didn't you call a tow?"

Ryan laughs again. "Do you know how much a tow costs? And then I'd have to pay to get my van out of the garage. And a teaching salary doesn't really cover extra repairs."

Sophie's eyes knit together. "You teach?"

"Martial arts." Ryan turns her cup in her hands on the table. "I'm probably better than you."

Sophie's turn to laugh. "I'm military trained."

"Street smarts versus book smarts."

"There's only one kind of smart."

"Don't say 'smart enough to stay out of trouble.'"

Sophie's cheeks warm. Ryan took the words out of her mouth, but she can't let Ryan know that. "No.... Smart enough... to make the right choice."

Ryan rolls her eyes.

"Listen, Soph--"

"Sophie." She corrects. "Agent Moore."

"Right. I still don't have a ride, and my girl's already at work. I really can't miss the last bus. So, can we skip to the part where you let me go?" She meets Sophie's eyes directly, and for a moment, all Sophie sees is those dark brown almost black eyes. Are they always that dark? What about when the light hits them? When the sun's shining and the sky's a rare bright blue?

Sophie drops her gaze down to the table. If Ryan needs a ride, well.... "You said your van is your alibi?" Sophie checks. Ryan nods. Sophie stands up and glances away before she can talk herself out of it. "Then let's go get your alibi."

Ryan scoffs. Sophie shifts her weight in a way she hopes doesn't feel nervous. She's not nervous. Why would she be nervous? She's given people rides before. It's part of the private security gig. They have nice cars even. Nicer than the van Ryan has probably. Nicer than the Subaru that Sophie's been eying but refusing to buy. (She might as well slap lesbian on her forehead if she starts driving that. And she's not. Not anymore. Not really.)

(And yet, the longer Ryan goes without responding, the harder Sophie's heart pounds. The sweatier Sophie gets under this too hot uniform suit, the drier her mouth gets.) Sophie licks her lips. Then circles them. Then huffs.

"It's a one time offer, Ms. Wilder. Do you want to get your van, or do you want to spend the night in holding while I go see for myself?"

Ryan studies her. Sophie knows because it feels like she's under a microscope. Her heart pounds even faster as her blood pumps with a refrain of sheknows sheknows sheknows. But then Ryan's eyes light up, even if her face stays skeptical.

"You got jumper cables?"

"I'm an adult," Sophie grumbles, "of course I have jumper cables." She turns her back to Ryan, and with that little bit of privacy, she relaxes with the overwhelming relief of the moment.

Ryan said yes.

🦇

end author's note: gah, this might also need a part two. what happens at the van? Idk! it's meant to be canon compliant, but I also just wanna knoooooow.

Other History? More Like Other MYSTERY

as in it’s a MYSTERY how the hell this got past an editor the week before Pride Month are you fucking kidding me?

I was kind of hoping for more than like... a week of being back on tumblr before I breathed fire and ripped a comic book to shreds. But we all know why I’m here.

There are so many preemptive things to get out of the way before I rip into this thing...

John Ridley as a writer in other forms of media has been incredibly accomplished and an important additional voice to entertainment industries. I do not wish to take away from that or to minimize the impact of voices like his.

But, you know, he’s a voice in media. Not the end-all, be-all to all marginalized people worldwide who can substitute his perspective for any nonwhite straight male voice. And I don’t think that has ever been more apparent than the continued spiral down the drain that has been every issue of The Other History of the DC Universe since the first. 

DC’s “new” approach to everything being canon and everything mattering is dumb and filled to the brim with ways it’s going to backfire and reveal itself to be the eye sore of publications that it’s aiming for, but I was curious to see how they would try to incorporate these characters’ long and contentious histories in the comics with the real world issues they often were billed to tackle, and try to fit it into the current pop culture landscape. That was the whole reason I had my eye on this comic to begin with.

By the second issue we were getting some stark warning signs because as much as I appreciated hearing an authentic perspective on how the Teen Titans brand carried on while neglecting its landmark Black teen heroes (Mal Duncan and Karen Beecher), there was a note of cruelty added to the issue that felt otherwise misplaced and uncharacteristic of the tone being set. 

There was no reason to have a significant portion of that issue dedicated to Mal and Karen’s monologues taking some aggressive words out on Roy Harper specifically for being an addict. 

Perhaps it was a quirk of writing from a flawed perspective or a show of how righteous upset and anger could be turned outward to other people suffering in a vy for your own empowerment. 

I’m now pretty sure that wasn’t it at all. I’m pretty sure because it kept getting worse every issue and it’s culminated in today’s issue where the retelling of Renee Montoya’s story managed to be petty, cruel, shockingly pro-police brutality int its adulation of Jim Gordon and especially Harvey Bullock, and managed to make a well-rounded and very beloved Latina lesbian and just retrofit every stereotype she never had before to her without regard for what it did to her story or to the stories of people around her. 

Honestly, lapsed faith and a poke at the damage that Catholic guilt can have on especially queer believers is kind of my jam, so it’s not that I wouldn’t be down for a story with that perspective. I could even understand exploring that with Renee. But not at the expense of her established history.

Which is a question all of its own. Here we have the skeletal structure of Renee’s life events that we have read before (in much better stories), but they are surprisingly out of order and also shockingly twisted in a way to make EVERYONE as unpleasant as possible. 

And in a way that has convinced me that either John Ridley has never read comics featuring Renee, or that he was mandated to change things that had no business being changed.

According to this issue Renee hated Batman and other superheroes? Which, ah, I don’t even know where that could come from. Ever since the animated series where she got started, Renee’s whole bag has been “the acolyte of Jim Gordon, only other cop who supports Batman”. Like I don’t even know how you get around that.

But according to Ridley she’s hated them all along as an extension of her internalized homophobia and self-loathing. Great.

What follows out of that is that apparently? Renee and Batman specifically butted heads over wanting to rehabilitate Harvey Dent? As in Renee wanted to help him and BATMAN was the one flipping out and saying Harvey was a sociopath and couldn’t be helped.

Like. I’m starting to question if Ridley has read Batman comics before. I don’t know where that interpretation could possibly come from? Bruce and Harvey were friends? Bruce has always held out hope for saving Harvey from his psychosis? It’s like. THE storyline for Two-Face.

The cop stuff... I don’t really know how to talk about the cop stuff to be completely honest. If you mention the LA Riots on one page and a few pages later try to frame it so that over policing and methods of brutality weren’t a thing until 9/11... I don’t know what to say to you. 

I’d say maybe I was being ungenerous here except there were two characters who got entire full page spreads about what good cops they were. And one of them was goddamn Harvey Bullock with the explicit commentary that Renee USED to be uncomfortable with his torture methods and general brutality but figured it was “okay” because he knew how “innocent people screamed different” and that he “never collared someone and it didn’t stick” because. Y’know. Police violence and falsifying evidence never go hand in hand. what the actual fuck ever right?

The timeline for Renee and Kate’s relationship is also completely changed which means that we get to add a trope I just LOVE as a lesbian personally, which is that lesbians can’t keep relationships and can’t keep from cheating on their loving partners. Especially when they are butch. 

And I’m not talking about Renee cheating on Kate. Oh, no. Ridley decided Kate was the Other Woman during Renee’s relationship with Daria. 

And just.. the cruel commentary that Renee had about both Kate and Daria throughout. It made my skin crawl. The way she talked about other women in general made my skin crawl. “Uncomplicated women” “Broken souls” “Can’t be with someone better than yourself”

So I actually planned to go into a full rage post about just the queer content because 1. my lane and 2. it honestly affected me so bad I was shaking and tearing up in anger a bit. Every single friend I know who loves Kate and Renee, see themselves in Kate and Renee, have been the same kind of mess I am after this.

The NASTINESS of the internal monologue. I don’t know how to explain it more than this is how poorly men think of flf and to have one use a character so meaningful to the community to spout this hatefulness has revolted me in a way I... haven’t had happen to me for a while.

I was going to talk about the weirdness of just... randomly deciding to retcon Renee’s parents into being undocumented when that’s never been a thing before and just doing NOTHING with it the whole while after. Or how it’s pretty questionable how Renee suddenly became so adherently Catholic when it’s never been portrayed like that before (that’s Hel B’s bag, JPV if you squint) but it’s entwined with any of her commentary on her ethnicity p sus too but I don’t have the nuance for that discussion right now.

Rena Rants are back and what a fucking JOKE this comic was. 

I didn’t pay for it and neither should you.

P.S. bringing back Tim Fox and calling him “Jace” is dumb as fuck too

The Myths of Forced Diversity and Virtue Signaling.

In my novel Mail Order Bride, the three main characters are a lesbian and two agendered aliens.  In my novel Scatter, the main character is a lesbian, the love interest is a pansexual alien, and the major side characters include a half Cuban, half black Dominican lesbian, a Chinese Dragon, a New York born Jewish Dragon, and a Transgender Welsh Dragon.  In my novel The Master of Puppets, the Main Characters are a lesbian shapeshifting reptilian alien cyborg and a half black, half Japanese lesbian.  The major side characters include three gender fluid shapeshifting reptilian alien cyborgs, and a pansexual human.  In my novel Transistor, the main character is a Trans Lesbian, the love interest is a Half human/Half Angel non-observant Ethiopian Jew, and the major side characters include a Transgender Welsh Dragon (the same one from Scatter), a Transgender woman, a Latino Lesbian, an autistic man, three Middle Eastern Arch Angels, and a hive mind AI with literally hundreds of genders.  In my novel The Inevitable singularity, one of the main characters is a lesbian, another has a less clearly defined sexuality but she is definitely in love with the lesbian, and the third is functionally asexual due to a vow of chastity she takes very seriously.  The major side characters include a straight guy from a social class similar to the Dalit (commonly known as untouchables) in India, a bisexual woman, a man who is from a race of genetically modified human/frog hybrids, and a woman from a race of genetically modified humans who are bred and sold as indentured sex workers.

Why am I bringing all of this up?  Well, first, because it’s kind of cool to look at the list of different characters I’ve created, but mostly because it connects to what I want to talk about today, which should be obvious from the title of the essay.  The concepts of ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’.

For those who aren’t familiar with these terms, they’re very closely related concepts.  ‘Forced Diversity’ is the idea that characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males are only ever included in a story because of outside pressure from some group (usually called Social Justice Warriors, or The Woke Brigade or something similar) to meet some nebulous political agenda.  The caveat to this is, of course, that you can have a women/women present as long as they are hot, don’t make any major contributions to the resolution of the plot, and the hero/heroes get to fuck them before the end of the story. ‘Virtue Signaling’, according to Wikipedia, is a pejorative neologism for the expression of a disingenuous moral viewpoint with the intent of communicating good character.

The basic argument is that Forced Diversity is a form of virtue signaling.  That no one would ever write characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males because they want to.  They only do it to please the evil SJW’s who are somehow both so powerful that they force everybody to conform to their desires, yet so irrelevant that catering to them dooms any creative project to financial failure via the infamous ‘go woke, go broke’ rule.

What the people who push this idea of Forced Diversity tend to forget is that we exist at a point in time when creators actually have more creative freedom than are any other people in history.  Comic writers can throw up a website and publish their work as a webcomic without having to go through Marvel, DC or one of the other big names, or get a place in the dying realm of the news paper comics page.  Novelists can self-publish with fairly little upfront costs, musicians can use places like YouTube and Soundcloud to get their work out without having to worry about music publishers.  Artists can hock their work on twitter and tumblr and a dozen other places. Podcasts are relatively cheap to make, which has opened up a resurgence in audio dramas.  Even the barrier to entry for live action drama is ridiculously low.

So, in a world where creators have more freedom than ever before, why would they choose to people their stories with characters they don’t want there?  The answer, of course, is that they wouldn’t.  Authors, comic creators, indie film creators and so on aren’t putting diverse characters into their stories because they are being forced to. They’re putting diverse characters into their stories because they want to.  Creators want to tell stories about someone other than the generically handsome hypermasculine cisgendered heterosexual white males that have been the protagonists of so many stories over the years that we’ve choking on it. A lot of times, creators want to tell stories about people like themselves.  Black creators want to tell stories about the black experience. Queer creators want to tell stories about the queer experience.

I’m an autistic, mentally ill trans feminine abuse survivor.  Every day, I get up and I struggle with PTSD, with an eating disorder, with severe body dysmorphia, with anxiety and depression and just the reality of being autistic and transgender.  I deal with the fact that the religious community I grew up in views me as an abomination, and genuinely believes I’m going to spend eternity burning in hell.  I deal with the fact that people I’ve known for decades, even members of my own family, regularly vote for politician who publicly state that they want to strip me of my civil rights because I’m queer.  I’m part of a community that experiences a disproportionately high murder and suicide rate.  I’ve spent multiple years of my life deep in suicidal depression, and to this day, I still don’t trust myself around guns.

As a creator, I want to talk about those issues.  I want to deal with my life experiences.  I want to create characters that embody and express aspects of my lived experience and my day-to-day reality.  No one is forcing me to put diversity into my books.  I try to include Jewish characters as often as I can because there have been a number of important Jewish people in my life.  I include queer people because I’m queer and the vast majority of friends I interact with on a regular basis are queer.  I include people with mental illnesses and trauma because I am mentally ill and have trauma, and I know a lot of people with mental illnesses and trauma.  My work may be full of fantastical elements, aliens and dragons and angels and superheroes and magic and ultra-high technology and AI’s and talking cats and robot dogs and shape shifters and telepaths and all sorts of other things, but at the core of the stories is my own lived experience, and neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males are vanishingly rare in that experience.

Now, I can hear the comments already.  The ‘okay, maybe that’s true for individual creators, but what about corporate artwork?’.   Maybe not in those exact words, but you get the idea.

The thought here is that corporations are bowing to social pressure to include characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males, and that is somehow bad. But here’s the thing. Corporations are going to chase the dollars.  They aren’t bowing to social pressure.  There’s no one holding a gun to some executive’s head saying, “You must have this many diversity tokens in every script.”  What is happening is that corporations are starting to clue into the fact that people who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males have money.  They are putting black characters in their shows and movies because black people watch shows and spend money on movies.  They are putting queer people in shows and movies because queer people watch shows and spend money on movies.  They are putting women in shows and movies because women watch shows and spend money on movies.

No one is forcing these companies to do this.  They are choosing to do it, the same way individual creators are choosing to do it.  In the companies’ cases the choices are made for different reasons.  It’s not because they are necessarily passionate about telling stories about a particular experience, but because they want to create art to be consumed by the largest audience possible, which means that they have to expand their audience beyond the neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white male by including characters from outside of that demographic.

And the reality is, the cries of ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ almost always come from within that demographic.  Note the almost.  There are a scattering of individuals from outside that demographic which do subscribe to the ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ myths, but that is a whole other essay.  However, within that demographic, lot of the people who cry about ‘forced diversity’ see media and content as a Zero-Sum game.  The more that’s created for other people, the less that is created for them.

In a way, they’re right. There are only so many slots for TV shows each week, there are only so many theaters, only so much space on comic bookshelves and so on.  But at the end of the day, its literally impossible for them to consume all the content that’s being produced anyway.  So, while there is, theoretically less content for them to consume, as a practical matter it’s a bit like someone who is a meat eater going to a buffet with two hundred items, and then throwing a tantrum because five of the items happen to be vegan.

The worst part is, if they could let go of how wound up they are about the ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ they could probably enjoy the content that’s produced for people other than them.  I mean, I’m a pasty ass white girl, and I loved Black Panther.

So, to wrap out, creators, make what you want to make, and ignore anyone who cries about forced diversity or virtue signaling.  And to people who are complaining about forced diversity and virtue signaling, I want to go back to the buffet metaphor.  You need to relax.  Even if there are a few vegan options on the buffet, you can still get your medium rare steak, or your chicken teriyaki or whatever it is you want.  Or, maybe, just maybe, you could give the falafel a try. That shit is delicious.

I see you posting about horror and I would love some recs if you have some to share 🙏

i just accidentally deleted a whole list fjahsjdasd i hate my life. anyways, i’m just gonna go ahead and assume you know the classics that get recommended all the time (the babadook, the ring, the exorcist, the vvitch, the conjuring, hereditary, the thing, insidious, etc.). here’s some underrated/indie horror movies i rarely see talked about (favs are in italics):

The not-actually-that-scary-but-still-good horror movies:

Let The Right One In (2008) – I mean, it’s literally my favorite movie/book and I have a tattoo of it, we been knew

Possum (2018) – I cannot even begin to tell you how much I adore this movie. Horror movies about CSA that explore it without once showing the actual rape, but still being terrifying/disturbing nonetheless?? Just an irish guy chilling with the puppet personification of his csa trauma????? Hells yeah (huge TW for spiders tho, i mean. I’m not scared of spiders but that fucking puppet is stil terrifying no matter how much I look at it)

Hard Candy has a soft spot in my heart. That’s my emotional support „ellen page tortures pedophiles“ movie

Thirst (2009)

Ravenous (1999) THE INHERENT ROMANTICISM OF BEING GAY AND CANNIBALS ON A MOUNTAIN. Brokeback mountain for cannibals

We Are What We Are (2010)

Marrowbone (2017)

The transfiguration (2016) – there’s so little vampire stories with black people, and i really loved how this wasn’t outright fantasy horror but had more of a ‚vampirism as an actual mental illness‘ approach

Nightbreed (1990) this movie IS lgbt cinema history

Gerald’s Game (2017) – we get it elena you love horror movies about the trauma of CSA

The autopsy of jane doe (2017) - i feel like this movie is perfect for horror fans who are tentative about seeing any big grotesque/gorey jumpscares 

As Above, So Below (2014) (the first and so far only movie that got permission to film in the paris catacombs) (also good for starters)

The Actually-Scary (at least to me) movies:

Lake Mungo (2008) ((think of TMA’s The End)) (i deadass think about this movie so often, the story is so devastating and really stays in my head. also the bg ghosts)

The [REC] franchise!!! any of those movies fuck me up and are TERRIFYING (again ff) 

I watched 30 Days of Night (2007) when it came out, when i was way too young, and it still to this day holds the spot for coolest vampire design (they modelled them after the jaws of white sharks!!! They’re supposed to be slavic strigoi) and also one of the only one times where i was actually scared by vampires

Livid (2011) (french horror movie!) (v gorey)

The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014) (found footage of a demonic mom – you’ll see a lot of FF on this list cuz i think it’s criminally underrated and terrifying if done well)

NOROI: The Curse (2005) ((ff))

Open water (2003) (this is scary to me because it’s based on a true story about a couple who went cave diving in the ocean with a guide who got LEFT BEHIND in the middle of the motherfucking ocean – with literally nothing to hold onto and no one even reporting them missing. Also, after i watched this i did a lil research and turns out there’s quite a lot of people ‚going missing‘ while taking swimming lessons where the guides will just drive to shore without them YEARLY. Fucked up if true) ((this has tma the vast vibes))

Clown (2014) (I recommend this to people who aren’t scared to like Eli Roth movies and think It Chap. 1 was boring)

Martyrs (2008) – a classic, this movie is bound to disturb you. It’s about child abuse and the survivors of child abuse enacting revenge, though it’s not the typical csa/anything similiar. HUGE tw for uhhhh, torture, self harm, mutilation etc..

Mama (2008) – the goth tattooed rocker chic jessica chastain movie

The bay (2012) (ff)

The last exorcism (2010) (ff)

The wailing (2016)

If you put on any V/H/S movie for me I’m guaranteed to shit my pants, so there’s that

May (2002) – i turned lesbophobic after watching this movie. About a lesbian obsessed with dolls i’ll say nothing more

The not-as-scary-but-still-scary-so-i-dont-wanna-put-them-in-the-first-list-in-case-i-traumatize-anyone movies:

Creep 1 & 2

The Strangers

The void (2016) ((tma the spiral))

The Hallow (2015)

The loved ones (2009) – a classic

Excision (2012) (if you liked raw)

Devil’s pass (2013)

Afflicted (2013) ((ff))

The cell (2000)

Session 9 (2001)

They Look Like People (2015)

The children (2008) – fuck them KIDS

The blackcoat’s daughter (2015)

I really liked Armie Hammer’s netflix original Wounds (2019)? IDK why. I found the story (albeit better suited as a short story) fascinating

Night Eats The World (2018) – another french movie! This time it’s about the inherent isolation and loneliness in locking yourself in a parisian apartment all alone with a bunch of zombies eating the rest of the world

Pontypool (2008)

The lure (2015) – yes, we’re polish, yes, we’re mermaids, yes, we eat men, yes, we also perform in a pop girl group WE EXIST!

I am not a serial killer (2016)

Green room (2015)

That’s it, pretty much. 

Heyyyy I have a question :3

Do you have any headcanon/s for these character : Scraptrap, Scrap Baby, Lady Dimistrecu, the three daughter of Lady D, Heisenberg and/or Molten Freddy ? :3

You don't have to do all the proposition, you can choose what character you want to do :3

Have a good day/evening and stay safe ! :3

*Cracks knuckles* \(^v^)/

You already know I'm doing all of them! Thank you for the ask! Headcanons under the cut!

FNaF6

Scraptrap

He loves rice and would do anything to get his paws on it. Fortunately, the pizzeria is quite close to a Chinese restaurant so rice is easy to get.

He orders a rice-based menu at least three times a week, so the owners aren't at all that surprised to see a tuxedo-clad zombie-rabbit come in and ask for their signature fried rice with buttered lobster on the side.

Since he like to dine-in there, he usually asks Michael to give him a bath in exchange for pizzeria improvements. Michael usually shrugs and gives him a well-deserved bubble bath and his tuxedo.

He likes it when Michael gives him head pats and rubs. It makes him feel loved and appreciated.

He has a pet pigeon named Fernando Buschmann. It's German and likes to listen to the violin.

He likes ASMR and memes. ASMR makes him go feral with murderous intent while memes make him question the modern generation.

He has social media accounts, all named "Willton-Moldover". He usually posts cosplays and furry art on them and has 93 followers on his Reddit profile, 1.5 million followers on his Instagram, 550 followers on his Tumblr, 35 on his Snapchat, and 3.95 million on his TikTok.

He also has a YouTube channel with 10.784 million subscribers called "Willton-Gameover". He plays videogames one-handed and roasts popular YouTubers and famous people. He would never roast Keanu Reeves though, because Keanu Reeves is precious bean.

Due to his popularity he gets a lot of hate mail and private pics. He doesn't like them at all so he blackmails the people who post them. And if the media and police are involved? Well, he has a strong fanbase that's not going down as well as a good alibi so that works out well for him.

Yes, his fanbase also knows of the Fazbear Murders, and he admits to it but frankly, he's shown them the approving ghost kids (who've bonded and gamed with him) so that's no big deal. Only Cassidy hates him, but it's usually constipated anger.

He's bisexual and has an ENORMOUS crush on one of his favourite game characters, Karl Heisenberg. Something about that man reminds him of himself and Henry, although he's not sure what. Still, don't let that distract you from the fact that he owns a nude Karl Heisenberg body pillow, CAPCOM official.

Scrap Baby

Her favourite Monster High doll is Draculaura. She doesn't understand how pink goes well with black but oh boy, pink goes so well with black.

She knows how to skateboard like a pro. Despite her weight, her trusty skateboard still stands and, if she falls, she's always got her skates to spare. She likes to impress the boys at the skatepark with her ability to perform even the most difficult of moves with ease.

She's subscribed to fifteen different tabloid subscriptions. She likes to read them and criticize the stupidity of the human race, like her father. Hey, it's hereditary.

The lights in her boobies glow in the dark. They also glow whenever she gets tired.

She likes reading furniture and gardening catalogues. She's judgy of the prices though and usually becomes a full-on critic with Lefty listening.

She owns a crab named Mr. Tootie. No I will not elaborate on the name. I'll only tell you that it's taken a liking to kazoos and party favours.

She's listed as the No. 1 Best Fan of her father's social media accounts. Michael's in nineteenth place but don't worry, he's as emotionless as a mushroom.

She likes to make origami lotuses. She's such a pro at it that she's even got a mini-stall at the pizzeria: 1 lotus for 50 cents. It's a lucrative business, and it's still growing. Oh, and she switches to other origami works of art every week such as origami guns and origami nine-tailed foxes.

She's the Restaurant Rescue manager. Usually she saves kids from trouble. For this reason, yes, she's commonly seen in the pizzeria itself. Kids love her though the claw worries the more irksome parents.

She's a professional Karen dealer. Karen comes to see the manager? She's hypnotically talented in weaving her words through the toughest of craniums so don't be surprised if a Karen walks out with a new viewpoint of life.

She performs on stage on the occasion, which usually gets her a lot of fan love. She cherishes everything good they give but ignores the problematic everythings. Problematic stuff? Oh, she's good friends with the police chief.

Molten Freddy

He loves noodles. Give him a bowl of ramen and he'll shut up for the entire night. Enter him in a noodle-eating competition and his high metabolism rate means absolutely non-stop spaghetti.

He misses Bon-Bon very much. To the point where he's even tried to make a scrap version of him. Sadly, it doesn't work. He cried that day.

He dies inside whenever he finds out there's a spaghetti shortage in Utah. Poor Molten.

He's a bit wonky, but if he tries to play with you or get into your personal space, don't get mad at him! He's just lonely and wants someone to talk to and play with.

He likes to play Exploding Kittens. It's the only card game he's good at. It's also the only card game he owns.

He sees Helpy as a little brother and boops his nose on a daily basis. He also likes to reenact The Lion King with him (It's the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiife~). Hopefully Helpy doesn't mind.

He knows a lot of jokes in a lot of languages. So German-speaking Molten Freddy wouldn't be too far away from expectation. His favourite jokes are in French though; the wordplay is just immaculate.

He's good in French, English, German, Russian, and Malay. He's currently learning Japanese because he's a mega weeb.

His favourite cartoon is Charlie and Lola. He just likes to see the sibling shenanigans as it somehow reminds him of the good old days.

His favourite shows would be prankster shows. He especially loves the ones that give him new and creative ideas. He doesn't like the scary ones though. They make him feel unsafe and give him anxiety.

Surprisingly, he has a distinct taste for opera. He can modulate the remnants of his voice box to perfectly sing I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General. This both pisses off and impresses Henry to an extent.

Resident Evil 8

Lady Dimitrescu

She might act like the opposite but she really loves Heisenberg as her little brother. His determination, strength, speed, dexterity, and workaholic nature impresses her, who can't even fit through a doorway. She sometimes wishes she's as short as him too.

She's an avid collector of glass, porcelain, and anything fragile. It's a good reason to always be careful where you tread in her lair. She'll make you swallow every last shard if you don't.

She's an avid romance fanatic and is very loving towards the romance novels she owns. All those books you see in the in-game library? They're her collection of lesbian romances that she's collected over the past decades.

She doesn't like hats and prefers to stick to the one she wears in-game. She DOES have a collection of hats though. Last anyone counted, there were over fifty, one or two for each decade she's lived through.

She files her nails on a constant basis and owns an ornately decorated nail-clipper. Hygeine is of the utmost importance. She doesn't want to be compared to that filthy Heisenberg.

Despite her size and carefulness she keeps losing her stuff. Over the course of a week she could misplace three wine glasses, two reading glasses, and fifteen bottles of wine.

She's an expert at dodgeball and golf and even owns a lifetime access to the most prolific Country Club in Romania. With permission from Mother Miranda she goes there every year for the yearly party. It's one of the times she gets to see modernity (and Ed Sheeran) at its finest.

She loves bands from the 1920s and 1940s. However, she gets bored of them occasionally and switches them to something more modern, like Ed Sheeran. Seriously though, what is up with mums and Ed?

She's into executions and torture methods. So it's no surprise that she's a HUGE fan of Horrible Histories; even if she can't watch the show, she'll binge-read the books over and over again. She's even had the chance to encounter (and receive an autograph from) Terry Deary. They have sworn a bond not to tell anybody about this.

She loves exotic animals like anacondas and jaguars. She may or may not have owned a 10ft long Saltwater Crocodile (which was also about 5ft wide).

She's an incredible physicist and mathematician. She's also created many original formulae but unsurprisingly, she doesn't tell anyone about them, for fear that either more people may know of her, or that she may be wrong.

Dimitrescu Babes

They can devour an entire human being in mere seconds as flies. It's sort of like the scarab beetles in The Mummy movies. However, unlike the beetles, they are able to strip the bones as well. They leave nothing behind.

They all know how to play the piano with varying levels of success. Daniela can already play professionally while Bela is still stuck on Grade 5.

They love to listen to their mother when she tells them stories. Gotta hand it to 'em, when you're a fly, you know how to enjoy life in its most simple of moments.

They all love being around the hunky Soldats of Uncle Karl. Fortunately, they don't know of the rebellious plan to conquer Miranda.

Bela is bisexual, Cassandra is asexual and pansexual, and Daniela is demisexual.

It gets hard when you're a fly during the summer. If it's not the lizards, spiders, and other predators, it's the heat. Because of this, despite the material waste, they have invented the world's first blood-powered air conditioner.

The three girls have never ever ever touched a stove or oven in their life. They HAVE touched the hot end of an iron though. A good reason to not touch a bloody oven. Alcina has though, but doesn't tell them that.

They love puppies! Uncle Karl brought them a baby labrador. For the rest of the week Alcina had lost quite a bit of favour from them. Not that they minded of course. IT'S A PUPPY.

They don't like snow one bit. Not just because it's cold, but because it's too white. Too bright. Too shiny. They just can't focus on their prey!

They like to go over to Auntie Donna to play with Angie. Well, you know what they say, crazies attract the crazies, and the crazy has attracted the crazies.

They also like to go to Uncle Moreau's because he's the only one in the village with a PS4. Usually they'd spend about three-quarters of a day playing his games and eating his cheese.

Karl Heisenberg

He owns a dark blue armchair named Junkyard. Despite the name, he loves it dearly because it was a gift from Alcina for his twenty-first birthday. It became part of his final transformation too. Right under the hat.

He's a little blind in the right eye, much to his annoyance. It was a minor accident with Sturm; another reason for him to hate the uncontrollable wretch. He'll never live that day down.

Somehow, he sees better in the dark, which is why he wears such tinted glasses. He also wears them to hide his expressions, since, more often than not, he tends to end up wearing his heart on his sleeve, and his emotions in his eyes.

He's under a lot of pressure so it's no surprise that he breaks down in his factory when he knows he's alone. And by break down I mean crumple into an exhausted heap on the floor. Not even his Soldat Jet squad can wake him up until he's had a reasonable eight hours of rest.

He bathes once a day, every evening, but only three times a week. Perfume, tobacco, and cologne keep care of the rest.

He's the only Lord with a daily contact with the outside world due to his electrical abilities. Don't tell Miranda, but he can electrically CONNECT TO GOOGLE AND THE ENTIRE INTERNET IN GENERAL. He likes to play funny YouTube cat videos in his head when Miranda's having a boring meeting. It's also how he finds out that Chris is a boulder-punching asshole.

He does stimming! He likes to tap his fingers on his desk and the metal rails in his factory. He also buys stim toys from the Duke and keeps them in a well-kept box. His favourite is a non-ripping squishable toy duck. He also sings to chill out.

He's absolutely in the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise, and may have once believed in the pizzeria's existence. Come on, he's a mutated Overlord with magical magnet powers. Children souls stuck inside animatronics isn't too far-fetched of an idea. His favourite characters are the Funtimes and the Scraps, mainly because of the blueprint complexity. He HAS tried to replicate the animatronics in his spare time, but he's usually too busy with his Soldats so the project gets scrapped. He loves The Living Tombstone's songs and remixes though.

He doesn't like William Afton at all (though he marvels at his survivability). William's nature and habits remind him of Mother Miranda. He DOES however enjoy Michael Afton and often thinks how it would be absolutely amazing to have that resilient being in his Soldat army.

He's scared of what lurks below the watery depths and fire. Ironic because his brother is a literal fish and he works in one of the most hazardous fire-conducting environments. He's also scared of heights, though he doesn't get airsick.

He once died due to a killing electric shock whilst working on Sturm. It's the only time he's felt that sort of pulsing agony and also the first time he's had the confirmation that yes, Hell is real and yes, he'll end up in quite a dark pit in it. Or it could've been an electric dream, who knows? Anyways his soul apparently ran towards the opposite direction of the flames and he woke up alive after the passing of FIVE ENTIRE WEEKS. Oh boy did Alcina get worried when she couldn't find him.

Thank you for the ask! I hope you enjoy!

ranking the books I read in may

I’m just gonna do this every month to keep track of what i’m reading

1. Ninefox Gambit - Yoon Ha Lee

Well it took me four months since I first started it and gave up because it was so confusing, but I finally finished! Just goes to show you sometimes have to push through. But seriously it got so good! Do I understand everything about hexarchate structure? no. idk what that is tbh. but character-wise, I loved this book. what is going on with these fictional lesbians and dead people in their brains? idk but I love it

2. Last Night at the Telegraph Club - Malinda Lo

I fell in love with this book. I didn’t have super high expectations but it made me want to read more historical fiction. The way Malinda Lo wove in the intersectional experiences of being an Asian American lesbian in the 1950′s is so well done. plus love a little space talk on the side. 

3. Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse

You know how sometimes theres a POV character you don’t like? this book doesn’t have that problem. I am so invested in all the characters and I really need the next book to come out...now. bisexual sea captain mermaid Xalia I am in love with you. 

4. When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain - Nghi Vo

Tor just gave this book away for free which is insane because it’s so good. I sat down to read Empress of Salt and Fortune and didn’t get up before finishing When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain. Good shit. I really liked this one in particular bc it’s really gay of the focus on the changeable nature of storytelling, and how history is altered by who’s telling it. 

5. The Deepwater Bride - Tamsyn Muir 

Um this story is perfect. It’s a short story so idek if I should include it on this list but here were are. It’s just that kind of gay monster story that works so well. Sapphics in a Tamsyn Muir work? it’s more likely than you think.

6. The Lamb will Slaughter the Lion -Margaret Killjoy

speaking of gay monster stories.... Anyway I also read this in one sitting and liked it a lot. It seemed to be about having an anarchist community and that was really interesting to me. I’ll have to read more by the author. 

7. The Empress of Salt and Fortune - Nghi VoI 

Also really enjoyed this one. Also about storytelling and the smaller unheard voices that shape history.  

8. Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower - Tamysn Muir

TM is really funny

9. Piranesi - Susannah Clarke

This is one of those books where it’s more exciting in the beginning because it’s a mystery but once you get the explanation it’s disappointing. At the beginning there are so many possibilities and they all exist at the same time. But once you pick on now there’s only one. I compared it to Harrow the Ninth before because you start out having no clue what’s going on and you slowly start to realize you know more than the narrator. But unlike htn, I think once I figured out what was going on it became a lot less exciting. I guess maybe there is a central metaphor I am missing but I wasn’t as taken with the book once everything became more clear. Still beautifully written though.

10. Written in the Stars - Alexandria Bellefleur 

10/10 nice romance. no notes. Okay a few notes, mostly about how Elle has a masters in astronomy (not even sure if you can get that. you would probably be advised to get a masters in astrophysics cause that would actually be helpful) and yet Darcy is supposed to be the ‘math one.’ I don’t think you can get that far is astronomy without doing a little math. 

11. The Dark Tides of Heaven - Neon Yang

I really liked the writing and world building of this book. and how queer it is. I’m excited to read the others in the series. 

12. Elena Ferrante’s Key Works - Tizia De Rogatis

This was a book of critical essays analyzing books by Elena Ferrante (not Lying life of adults cause that hadn’t come out yet). I found some of it really illuminating. Much of it stuff I was just completely missing since I don’t know anything about Italian literature. Don’t love how the author refuses to even mention there could be a queer reading of the Neapolitan Novels. Would be interesting if she was analyzing Lying Life of Adults too since that one is undeniably queer. 

13. A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet

I wanted to like this so much and I did enjoy it a lot. But I think I wanted a bit more conflict. It kinda felt like reading an episodic podcast. I loved all of the characters and it was heartwarming. There were just a lot of really interesting character dynamics and conflicts that I wanted to be expanded but they were just cleared up very quickly.

14. Silk & Steel - a queer speculative adventure anthology - multiple authors

There were quite a few stories I really liked in this anthology. And a lot that I thought were very meh. A ton of dueling. One story was transphobic which was bad and super weird to find in a book about sapphics that also included a few stories with well written trans characters. 

15. The Relentless Moon - Mary Robinette Kowal

I truly do not understand why the lady astronaut books are so popular! someone explain it to me!! They literally feel like they were written for my grandma. They attempt to be ‘woke’ by including a very diverse cast of characters. But the author is so bad at characterization that it ends up being a bunch of walking stereotypes. Plus the main characters are still white women. These white women do face sexism but like...the type of sexism that white women in positions of power with powerful husbands would. Which is fine if that was explored but it is NOT. There is really no exploration of sexism or racism other than a few characters being sexist and/or racist and the main white lady saying ‘hey no don’t do that’. In this book the main character is a white woman in the 50′s but luckily she has no learned racism, internalized sexism, or homophobia that she would realistically have at the time. It reads like a ‘woke’ white woman from 2021 with no real understanding of systematic oppression went back in time to scold the people around her. There is no nuance in anything. The main character is introduced as having an eating disorder. That could be interesting but the author is so bad at nuance that it is brought up over and over but serves no real purpose. The main plot is like ‘among us’ on the moon. that should be great, and there were parts that I enjoyed, but mostly this was waaay too long. I read this book because I was reading the books nominated for best novel for the 2021 hugos. The other books in that category are very nuanced and actually looking at systematic discrimination and/or colonialism so reading this in comparison was like reading something by a third grader. I would have nominated The Space Between Worlds instead. That book actually had something to say.  

failed my effort to only read queer books since Elena Ferrante’s key works is low key homophobic (is it homophobic to not talk about how lila and lenu are in love? imo yes) and the relentless moon has only like one mention of a gay couple. But I came close. Better luck next month. for pride month I can do it. 

Hey! Idk if this is too much t9 ask, but could you rec me 2, 19, 20, 45, 55, 63, 69, 71, 72, 75, 86, 104, 111, 116, 131? sorry if it’s a lot but thanks in advance if u can rec me some! :)

Hi, you're in luck! I have an essay to procrastinate on and this ask is just the right thing to distract me! Here you go, I hope you'll find something that you like:

2. a book with a blue cover

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. When i read it for the first time I was just on the brink of going to uni, still figuring out what I even wanted to study and this book just wrapped me in a warm blanket and said "it's going to be okay". I love the main characters Frances and Aled, their arcs and especially the really nice and quiet queer rep in this book.

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

The Knife Of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. When I start a book I generally have the feeling that I can't put it away until I have finished it. With The Knife Of Never Letting Go my problem was that I did want to read it but it didn't fit my mood, so I couldn't bring myself to read it but also beat myself up about not reading it until I put it back onto my shelf. So, I basically pushed myself into a reading slump over this book.

21. a book with a red cover

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers. I enjoyed this book so much but probably not for the reasons most people would think I enjoyed it? The wlw romance was definitely nice and I really liked them being dramatic but also kind of mundane? What really got me though was the strong theme of found family of young adults and queer friendships, that really yanked the yearning hours wide fucking open for me. (I also liked that in the end the book wasn't as much about romance as it was about finding yourself after surrendering yourself to academia for ages and working through your issues.)

45. a book featuring the friends to lovers trope

The Priory Of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. I adore this book. It's so long and there's so much incredible world building and history in it that it made reading an untter delight! Coming in it was a bit hard to acclimate to the slow paste but after a while I just settled in and enjoyed the ride. It's a breathtaking story in a breathtaking universe and afaik there's a second part coming!

55. a book with a satisfying ending

Yolk by Mary H. K. Choi. Yolk doesn't really have an ending in the sense of a "happily ever after" but I really loved where the author chose to leave the characters and how she did it. The book is quite different from what I usually read, tonewise, but especially that ending made me leave the book with a warm feeling. (also the cover is yellow and really really gorgeous)

63. a book that actually made you laugh out loud

I would've reccd Red White and Royal Blue but judging by your url you've read that already...sooooo, it's Snapdragon by Kat Leyh! Super cute graphic novel, with a weird and adorable storyline and such lovable characters!

69. your favorite mythological retelling

I haven't read a mythological retelling in ages, so basic Percy Jackson by Rick Riordan will have to do.

71. your favorite LGBTQ+ fiction

now that's just rude how am I supposed to choose?? I'll say it's Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire and Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir and Loveless by Alice Oseman. I feel very strongly and very distinctly about all of them, if you can get your hands on them my only comment is READ. (and maybe make sure you're okay with gothic sci-fi horror for Gideon The Ninth)

72. a book with a gorgeous cover

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. It's her adult gothic horror debut after The Miseducation of Cameron Post and not only is the hardcover just stunning in black and red, it also got illustrations inside!! (And all teh women are queer and it's deliciously fucked up!)

75 a book featuring the I'm not like other girls trope

I think the closest I can come to that is The Lady's Guide To Piracy and Petticoats by Mackenzi Lee. The main character has to unlearn a bunch of stuff really fast if she wants to get along with the only other people that will help her. We have road trips in the 16th century, kidnapping and asshole husbands to be, piracy of course and friendship!

86. a book with an insane plot twist

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand. Sawkill Girls was my first touch with horror and I have to say I have no idea whether there was heavy foreshadowing. I think I remember thinking that there was something else to come but when the shit hit the fan I just sat there with big questionmarks over my head because I had read the book in a frenzy in one evening and truly did NOT anticipate it. As someone who did not read horror or thriller before this I have to say I was already insanely confused and disgusted by a bunch of stuff that went down. But then...uh. the thing happened and I was just lost. (In a good way though.)

104. a fluffy sweet read

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann. It's been a while ever since I read it but it's essentially a cute summer story about Alice who's a disaster bisexual when she sees people she finds cute. Which is a little inconvenient because the new guy at her job is really, really, really extremely cute and she ceases to function around him. There's best friend drama, eating pizza iirc and figuring shit out!

111. a book writing a book

I assume it's either "a book about writing a book" or I am literally supposed to rec a book that is writing a book...I'm going to rec a book that is about books! (because I can.) It's The Girl Who Reads on the Métro by Christine Féret-Fleury and it follows a young woman called Juliette wo gets sucked into an old bookseller's world of life saving, life changing books. A really quiet, really cute book.

116. a book with multiple povs

the Reckless books by Cornelia Funke! Simply divine stroytelling, a vibrant world and amazing characters! I have to say that I only know the German original so I don't know what the English translation might be like.

131. recommend any book you like

um. so knife gang members and people who follow my main, you'll once again be subjected to me being a mess because of lesbian necromancers in space! I've mentioned it before, it lives in my head rent free, it is the one, the only Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir! It's an insane sci-fi horror fantasy blend where Gideon has to play cavalier to Reverend Daughter Harrowhark I-love-being- an-absolute-pain-in-the-ass-to-Gideon Nonagesimus to help her become an uber-necromancer (like Harrow needs motivation to become even more of a nerd and shockingly good at necromancy) for the Necrolord Prime/Undying Emperor. There's BEAUTIFUL WRITING sprinkled with MEMES when you least expect it. There is incredible toxic codependency and repression. There's MURDER. There's fancy necromancy theorems and DUELS. There's enemies to begrudging allies to ??? Staple your socks to your feet or this book will blow them clean off!

Hi I just saw your post about Israel and Palestinian. I don't know if you're the person to ask or if this is a dumb question but I was wondering if anyone has considered starting a second Jewish state? I was wondering because there's a bunch of Christian countries so why not multiple Jewish ones.

Sorry if I'm bothering you and Thanks for your time.

That’s actually a pretty interesting question. I am going to apologize right now, because I essentially can’t give a short answer to save my life.

I’m not a ‘Jewish Scholar,’ so while I can speak with some authority about the history of Zionism, I definitely couldn’t speak about it with as much authority as others. I mentioned in at least one of the posts I have written about the history of plans for a ‘Jewish state’ when Zionism was originally being proposed, and I can kinda of track the history of Zionist thinking for you if you are interested, though essentially it’s just about arguing where to go. But there are better scholars for this than me, so I would recommend Rebecca Kobrin, Deborah Lipstadt, Walter Laqueur … idk. Maybe just read some Theodor Herzl, honestly. With all of that said, I can speak with some authority about the post-war history of this in the Middle East. So let’s go.

In post-war times, there has really only been one serious discussion of an alternative Jewish state, as far as I know. And actually, this is part of why I find it so ironic that people are campaigning so hard to be “anti-Zionist” and to express views like “anti-Zionism” in their activism, because the Jews in Israel who are most anti-Zionist are actually the settlers of Palestinian territories, who want to secede and form a “Gaza-State” called Judeah. There's a great book about this called The Deadly Embrace by Ilana Kass And Bard O'Neill, if anyone is interested. Anyway, most of those people, who are largely Haredim (the Ultra-Orthodox Jews, though some of those settlers are semi Orthodox), have essentially been waging a “culture war” about what it means to have a Jewish state and what the identity of that Jewish state should look like basically since the 1980s.

There is a really good article about this that you can find right here written by Peter Lintl, who is a researcher at the Institution of Political Science for the Friedrich-Alexander Universitat. I’ll summarize it for the lazy people, though, because it’s like 40 pages. Just know that this paragraph won’t be super source heavy, because it is basically the same source. Essentially, the Haredim community has tripled in size from 4% to 12% of the total Israeli population since 1980, and it is probably going to be about 20% by 2040. They only accept the Torah and religious laws as the basis for Jewish life and Jewish identity and they are critical of democratic principles. To them, a societal structure should be hierarchical, patriarchal, and have rabbis at the apex, and they basically believe that Israel isn’t a legitimate state. This is primarily because Israel is (at least technically, so no one come at me in the comments about Palestinian citizens of Israel, so I’ll make a little ** and address this there) a ‘liberal’ democracy. Rights of Israeli citizens include, according to Freedom House, free and fair elections (they rank higher on that criteria here than the United States, by the way), political choice, political rights and electoral opportunities for women, a free and independent media, and academic freedom. It is also, I should add (as a lesbian), the only country in the Middle East that has anything close to LGBT+ rights.

[**to the point about Palestinians and Palestinian citizens of Israel: I have a few things to say. First, I have recommended this book twice now and it is Michael Oren’s Six Days of War, which absolutely fantastically talks about the ways in which the entire structure of the Palestinian ‘citizenship’ movement, Palestinian rights, and who was responsible for governing Palestinians changed after the Six Days War. If you are at all interested in the modern Middle East or modern Middle East politics, I highly recommend you read this, because a huge tenant of this book is that it was 1967, not 1947, that caused huge parts of our current situation (and that, surprisingly, a huge issue that quote-on-quote “started it” was actually water, but that’s sort of the primary secondary issue, not the Actual Issue at play here). Anyway, I’ve talked about the fact that Israel hugely abuses its authority in the West Bank and Gaza and that there are going to be current members of the Israeli Government who face action at the ICC, so please don’t litigate this again with me. I also should add that the 2018 law which said it was only Jews who had the natural-born right to “self-determine” in Israel was passed by the Lekkud Government, and I really hate them anyway. I know they’re bad. It’s not the point I’m making. I’m making a broader point about the Constitution vis-a-vis what the Haredim are proposing, which is way worse].

To get back to the Haredim, basically there is this entire movement of actual settlers in territories that have been determined to belong to the Palestinian people as of, you know, the modern founding of Israel (and not the pre-Israel ‘colonial settler’ narrative you’ll see on instagram in direct conflict with the history of centuries of aliyah) who want to secede and form a separate Jewish state. They aren’t like, the only settlers, but I point this out because they are basically ‘anti-Zionist’ in the sense that they think that modern Zionism isn’t adhering to the laws of Judaism — that the state of Israel is too free, too radical, too open. And scarily enough, these are the sort of the people from whom Netanyahu draws a huge part of his political support. Which is true of the right wing in general. Netanyahu can’t actually govern without a coalition government. Like I have said, the Knesset is huge, often with 11-13 political parties at once, and so to ‘govern’ Netanyahu often needs to recruit increasingly right wing, conservative, basically insane political parties to maintain his coalition. It’s why he has been so supportive of the settlements, particularly in the last five years (since he is, as I have also said, facing corruption charges, and he really can’t leave office). It would really suck for him if a huge chunk of his voters seceded, wouldn’t it?

Anyway, that is the only ‘second Jewish State’ I know about, and I don’t think that is necessarily much of a solution. I really don’t have the solutions to the Middle East crisis. I am just a girl with some history degrees and some time on her hands to devote to tumblr, and I want people to learn more so they can form their own opinions. With that said, I think there are two more things worth saying and then I will close out for the night.

First, Judaism is an ethno-religion. Our ethnicities have become mixed with the places that we have inhabited over the years in diaspora, which is how you have gotten Sephardi, Mizrahi, Ashkenazi, and even Ethiopian Jews. But if you do actual DNA testing on almost all of the Jews in diaspora, the testing shows that we come from the same place: the Levant. No matter how pale or dark, Jews are still fundamentally one people, something we should never forget (and anyone who tries to put racial hierarchy into paleness of Jews: legit, screw you. One people). Anyway, unlike other religious communities, we have an indigenous homeland because we have an ethnic homeland. It’s small, and there are many Jews in diaspora who choose not to return to it, like myself. But that homeland is ours (just as much as it is rightfully Palestinians, because we are both indigenous to the region. For everyone who hasn’t read my other posts on the issue, I’m not explaining this again. Just see: one, two, and three, the post that prompted this ask). This is different from Christians, for example, who basically just conquered all of Europe and whose religion is not dependent on your race or background. You can be a lapsed Christian and you are still white, latinx, black, etc right? I am a lapsed Jew, religiously speaking, and will still never escape that I am ethnically Ashkenazi Jewish.

Second, I think you raise a really good point about other religious states. There are many other religious majority states in the world (all of these countries have an official state religion), and a lot of them are committing a lot of atrocities right now (don't even get me started on Saudi Arabia). I have seen other posts and other authors write about this better than I ever could, but I am going to do my best to articulate why, because of this, criticism of Israel as a state, versus criticism of the Israeli Government, is about ... 9 times out of 10 inherently antisemitic.

We should all be able to criticize governments. That is a healthy part of the democratic process and it is a healthy part of being part of the world community. But there are 140 dictatorships in the world, and the UN Human Rights Council has condemned Israel 45 times since 2013. Since the creation of the UN Human Rights Council, it has has received more resolutions concerning Israel than on the rest of the world combined. This is compared to like … 1 for Myanmar, 1 for South Sudan, and 1 for North Korea.

Israel is the world’s only Jewish majority state. You want to talk about “ethnic cleansing” and “repressive governments”? I can give you about five other governments and world situations right now, off the top of my head, that are very stark, very brutal, very (in some cases) simple examples of either or both. If a person is ‘using their platform’ to Israel-bash, but they are not currently speaking about the atrocities in Myanmar, Kashmir, Azerbaijan, South Sudan, or even, dare I say, the ethnonationalism of the Hindu Nationalist Party in India, then, at the very least, their activism is a little bit performative. They are chasing the most recent ‘hot button’ issue they saw in an instagraphic, and they probably want to be woke and maybe want to do the right thing. And no one come at me and say it is because you don’t “know anything about Myanmar.” Most people know next to nothing about the Middle East crisis as well. At best, people are inconsistent, they may be a hypocrite, and, whether they want to admit it to themselves or not, they are either unintentionally or intentionally buying into antisemitic narratives. They might even be an antisemite.

I like to think (hope, maybe) that most people don’t hate Jews. If anything, they just follow what they’ve been told, and they tend to digest what everyone is taking about. But there is a reason this is the global narrative that has gained traction, and I guarantee it has at least something to do with the star on the Israeli flag.

I know that was a very long answer to your question, but I hope that gave you some insight.

As a sidenote: I keep recommending books, so I am going to just put a master list of every book I have ever recommended at the bottom of anything I do now, because the list keeps growing. So, let’s go in author alphabetical order from now on.

One Country by Ali Abunimah Rise and Kill First: The Secret History of Israel's Targeted Assassinations by Ronen Bergman Kingdom of Olives and Ash: Writers Confront the Occupation, edited by Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman The Girl Who Stole My Holocaust: A Memoir by Noam Chayut If a Place Can Make You Cry: Dispatches from an Anxious State by Daniel Gordis Israel: A Concise History of a Nation Reborn by Daniel Gordis The Deadly Embrace by Ilana Kass And Bard O'Neill Like Dreamers: The Story of the Israeli Paratroopers Who Reunited Jerusalem and Divided a Nation by Yossi Klein Halevi Antisemitism by Deborah Lipstadt Six Days of War: June 1967 and the Making of the Modern Middle East by Michael Oren The Yom Kippur War: The Epic Encounter That Transformed the Middle East by Abraham Rabinovich One Palestine, Complete: Jews and Arabs Under the British Mandate by Tom Segev Hollow Land: Israel's Architecture of Occupation by Eyal Weizman

As someone familiar with like the overarching plot of the books who read exactly 4 of them (the only ones I owned because none of the libraries I was allowed to go to had them): can you talk a little bit more about the Very 90's way the Animorphs handles Social Issues? And just ways the series overall dates itself as very 90's?

Idk if I’m the person to talk about this because the main thing is tokenism which I’m not an expert on at all. There’s a Black and a (probably) Latino member of the team but their cultural identities have almost no bearing on anything at any point, and the racial politics or demographics or history of this nameless town are never addressed in any way or treated as relevant to the characters’ lives.

The other way it’s very 90s is the text’s apparently sincere obliviousness to the fact that Cassie is a lesbian and Marco is bisexual and also those gay disabled Andalites with the greenhouse are gay. Like I can’t call it queerbaiting (or even queer-coding!) because it really feels like Applegate just didn’t know. (I don’t want to get into what Scholastic would or would not permit, it’s not the point, it’s the 90s either way.) Not gonna pin Tobias Is A Trans Allegory on the 90s because I am not currently coming up with anything sci fi and kids lit in this decade that handles transness any better so it’d be disingenuous. Plus shapeshifting as gender allegory is like, about as old as a trope can get.

Also all the kids get mad at Ax for being ableist because he’s an alien because ableism is apparently an alien problem and then the series fucking slaughters twenty barely-characterized disabled kids in one fell swoop to heighten the drama of the final sequence. Don’t get me started on Loren.

Also they find a race of tiny super angry aliens who turn out to be a reverse sexist warrior cult where the men are slaves and then Marco says it’s just like with humans and I had to read that line with my own eyeballs.

Also they find Atlantis and it’s a wierd psychosexual human taxidermy museum ruled by an absolute monarchy and there’s an undetonated nuclear bomb in it. This is not a social issue I just think it should be pointed out.