Archer: The Vulcans don't want us to have sex, and I'm mad about it!
Freeman: Could you please stop having sex long enough to do your job? (Glaring at Shax and T'Ana)
Lorca: If you don't murder them afterwards, what is even the point?
Pike: *sniff* I'm so proud!
Saru: I believe I find my knowledge of this topic deeply uncomfortable, and would like to change the subject, however, I feel obligated to remind you of the Star Fleet code of ethics on this matter. Safe, sane and consensual.
Burnham: Everyone is allowed to keep one partner and their pet in their quarters, so long as said partner doesn't commit any war crimes. If war crimes are permitted, you may continue to flirt with them while we hunt them down and arrest them.
Rios: Look, the last time I had sex, the woman murdered someone like, a day later. I'm thinking of swearing it off com.... Oh, hello...
Shaw: No.
Seven of Nine: Have you tried becoming a lesbian?
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