Ok, this is a longer post than I planned, but I love thinking about Mike's relation to children and how he ended up with so many kids despite never expecting to have any.

I just like the idea of Mike being very adamant about not ever wanting to have children up until Cassie enters his life and then he ends up taking care of like 10+ children. They just keep popping into his life, he has no idea how it keeps happening.

Like, he's spend his childhood forced to take care of his younger siblings (and even though he loved them, it was very taxing on him and he feels like he failed enormously at it, considering they both died "because of him") and now he's scared of failing whatever child he might have. And of course, he's terrified of turning into his father and ending up hurting his kids, so he just decides that he doesn't want to have any at all, and he makes it very clear to Jeremy when they get together.

Jeremy is a bit sad about it because he loves the idea of a big family, but he understands where Mike is coming from and it's not really a deal-breaker for him so he goes with it. Though he is a bit sad for Mike anytime he sees him interact with kids, especially in one of the restaurants when they have the occasional dayshift because he's actually very good with them (both before and after getting scooped too)

But then, Cassie enters their life after Phone Guy dies in Fnaf 1, and they get custody of her because they are her godfathers and Mike is scared of screwing up, but he can't just let her end up in an orphanage. So they take her in and she changes his life entirely. He loves her so much and he would die (again) for her. He's very protective and he's so grateful to have her in his life. (Jeremy is so enamoured with him and loves seeing the two of them interact)

And then Cassie becomes friends with Gregory, and after they all find out he's been abandoned by his parents and living in the street, they take him in too. And it's so easy to fall into a routine, and Mike finds himself happier than he's ever been.

But it doesn't even end at that, because after Mike freed the Missing Children in Fnaf 3, they get attached and end up staying with him and Jeremy on and off (even more so as Susie/Chica is in fact Jeremy's little sister and she is glad to be reunited with him)

Cassidy is more wary of him at first, but they quickly get along anyway. Evan is just excited to be with his big brother again, even if they're a bit awkward at first.

And then UCN happens, and they find Liz and Charlie, who end up coming along with their ragtag family too after some tears and revelations.

And Mike and Jeremy end up having a house full of kids out of nowhere and neither of them would change that for anything in the world. The ghosts mostly come and go, but they still consider them as parental figures and Mike definitely cries when they all prepare something special for him on father's day.

i need to fuckign explode

some insight into jean-paul valley’s childhood from the knightfall novel

I just spent the past two hours listening to murder conspiracies and doing Cass_Gets_No_Bitches.mp4

hi !!! could u do a haech scenario based off round&round? i luv ur stuff sm !!!!!

round&round. — l.d.h

PAIRING. haechan x gn!reader

GENRE. idk cutesy, js haechan being whipped ngl

WC. 491

NINI’S NOTE. haechan??? my ult?? with round&round??? one of my fave nct dongs rver??? u want me so bad anon.. AND I LOVE U TOOO. fid this at 3 am and i dont yhink its proofread… not v proud kf this but i jope u liekk it 💞💞 (turn on light mode for the banner to look prettier 😓)

“smile a bit!” you had told haechan with a big smile of your own, as you were holding his phone up, ready to take a picture with him.

but if only it was so easy for haechan to stand close to you without feeling his heart beating faster than the speed of light.

his pretty brown eyes bore into yours in nervousness after you scolded him, but he nevertheless stood closer to you, and slowly threw up a peace sign and a small smile.

“say cheese!”

and just like that, the picture that he was looking at with the goofiest and biggest grin ever on his hand, was taken.

he wasn’t even looking at himself in the picture, he was looking at you.

you and your stupid smile that got him feeling like he’s a little boy who just got his first ever crush. you who made him feel like he was so close but so far away from you. you who made him scared to make the first move, because you’re just friends, what if you reject him? but also you, who makes him the happiest man with just throwing a glance on his way.

he wasted his time today again. and before he knows it, it’s 2:30 am.

2:30 am.

he’s been tossing and turning under his bed sheets for a while trying to sleep, yet both his heard and brain won’t let him. what is wrong with him? he simply wanted to have a nice night sleep, and not think about his stupid teenage-y boy crush on his friend, those were for kids anyways.

but no matter how hard he tried, thoughts of you just won’t leave him alone.

did he seriously have to be so pathetically in love with you? his friends have called him a loser multiple times ‘cause of this but he just can’t see why. i mean, it’s not like he’ll confess and then boom you’re dating! it’s more complicated than that, a lot more.

he just didn’t want to lose you. a simple confession between friends can ruin the whole friendship.

his overthinking was really eating him up this late at night.

you really were his everything. you were his sun and he was just the earth orbiting, and always wandering around you. he’d seek for you everywhere, but sometimes he’d think if you’d feel the same. i mean you have said a couple of “i love you”s, but those were just in the friendship way, right?

he needs you deeply. it’s like he’s a drug addict and you’re the drug.

at this point he’s surprised you haven’t figured out he likes you. the poor boy stutters and avoids eye contact with you all the time.

but he can’t help but be obvious when it comes to you.

he wasted his time yet again today,

but who knows,

maybe tomorrow he won’t.

with the eggs leaving and the reboot coming up I think we all should sit abck and just wait and see what all happens.

I understsnd we all are scared and some arent too confident about it. And some may even feel they should just close the server.

But heres my take on all this.

The eggs leaving is like and end to an arc that ended up lasting mlre longer wether it's due to all of us getting attched or other reasons.

The eggs stayed and they were gonna leave at some point, nothing lasts forever, but we all werent expecting to have trouble saying goodbye, like I feel like the timing feels right for these eggs that woke up, its sad that the eggs that are still asleep arent having a chance to say goodbye but I feel tjey are getting a proper goodbye inna different way

Like reading books, looking at things the eggs did snd worked on. It's a way to conclude their stories

This is like a chapter of the story ending, same goese for the cubitos, their arc ended but their will be more for many and some may have an unexpected return in the future.

None of the ccs that was on the server for the few weeks never said their quitting the server, some are jist taking a break and phil may not return but he might if he feels he wants to.

And again who knows if these eggs will return but as dragons tho we shouldnt assume.

Speaking of assuming people have been doompoting and expecting the wost since the eggs are leaving.

Like most of us forgotten what the qsmp was mainly about?

Quackity made this server to connect people from different languages and countries. He wanting to build the bridges that wasnt really there.

And I say he succeeded, unfortuently I feel a lot of people forgot what the qsmp is about and as much as I love and care about the eggs, they arent the main reason to join the qsmp.

Like I would love to joins the qsmp because I wanna meet new people and learn new languages and cultures and the eggs would be a side reason as they came after the server began.

Sure the eggs helped bring many to stay on the server. But like even with the eggs dissapearing people still were on and did stuff together, the onese without eggs like YD were on, maybe not often but still showed up. Aypierre is still hopping on once a while despite Pommes admin not coming back, like even with Richas leaving, Mike still played on the server until he completed the statue.

Like these ccs who want to stay on the server may not show up for a bit but they will return when their ready.

We can't keep assuming what this person will do or if this person will stop interacting and all this assumptions we all need to stop doing as we end up dpreading missinformation.

Now the whole reboot coming up and the doomposting. I have seen most people doompost that the server is gonna fall because the eggs left. If that's the case, why are people still hopping on? Sure bad is the only one mainly on but again none of the ccs never confirmed they are leaving the server.

Some may never come back at least until they feel they want to. some are taking a break and will eventuslly return when their ready. But we all need to stop putting words that they didn't say on these sites as again spreading missinformation.

I think we all are scared of change and are afraid that everything that the qsmp did will be reversed but we should remember that these ccs always have a chance to interact outside the swrver.

They just have their owb things they wanna do but theyll interact at some point. Like Philza and Etoiles wanna play the car soccer game (I forgot the name of it) and Fit and Pac wanna continue playing it takes two and possibly more stardew valley.

Like these ccs have bonds that may be lasting forever its not all just gonna be on stream or public, some will be private and between them that they just wanna have fun without us always following their friendships kf this makes sense.

Like the qsmp briught them ttogether but their friendship will continue even after the server does permamently end.

Tthis reboot honestly may be what all of us need, sure the memories of this server is something we wanna keep but everyone needs a fresh start as it became too hard to enjoy the current server with the eggs leaving.

And again we don't fully know what will happen, maybe the spawn will have the current builds but be in a similar state the spawn looked at the beginning which has ruined and abandoned buildings or maybe fully reset. Either way we can only sit back and see what happens from here.

I think out problem is we tend to assume. Doesn't help with twitter as a lot of people there just are toxic and will condtsntly assume and put words that werent said.

I feel confident about whats to come and we should just wait and for now just take time to recover from an emotional week we all had, it's hard but like when Technoblade passed it wasnt easy for many of us especially his friends and family, but everyone still did what they can to keep them alive in spirit. This can be what we can do for the eggs and for the cubitos, like fanfics, fanart, easter eggs, even music and animations.

Like we have the power to create things even if the character or cubito is gone.and same goes with shows or the characters not returning, we can remember the show and characters even if it ends through creativity.

So overall we need to take slow deep breaths. Take time away if needed, and look forward as we can only wait and see what happens. We'll get thriugh this all together and remember we can still look at old vods and memories if we want to (I think theres a vod list somewhere on here)

Change is hard and many of us are uncertain what will happen from here, but remember that things don't last forever but they will Always be around if we continue to keep them alive through out creations and talking abiut them. And alsoz the reason that qsmp was mainly created for. And how we better handle these changes and situations that impacts us emotionally.

Remember that we can't predict the future and we just need to concentrait on the present. And take care of ourselves. Remember to take a step away for however long u need to, take a drink of water, eat something, take a nap or sleep depending on where u are, hug someone or something, take a step outside (aka touch grass for a bit) and do whatever u need to recover mentally.

Hope u all can have a bom dia/noite wether u are right now :)

I think things will be alright just will take time. ❤

(Apologies if I got something wrong or missworded it)

Omega reader x bonten

Angst kind kf

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

(name) rarely argued with his mates, the pack usually handled situations with communication and patience.

That was until they came home drunk, (name) coming to help them only to get yelled at "god you're so fucking annoying! Whiny fucking Omega"

The alphas all grumbled their drunken grievances and insults to the poor Omega, they never really got drunk around (name) the men not wanting to have (name) deal with that but tonight (name) learned Bonten were mean drunks.

"Sorry..." (Name) mumbled before briskly walking to the guest bedroom, not wanting to further upset his mates and began building a nest out of spare linens and bedding before crying himself to sleep.

The words his mates said to him hurt so badly, his Omega thinking he was being rejected by his mates and he didn't know what to do.

When morning came, they all had hangovers that they could feel in their teeth as they groggily got out of bed before registering that (name) had not gone to bed with them and assuming the Omega was making breakfast or using the restroom.

"God what happened last night..." Kakucho said with a groan, the men slowly piling into the livingroom with hardly any memories of last night only to find no (name).

"Where is he? Baby?" Ran called out to receive no answer, none of them aware that their Omega was frightened of them.

They never yelled at him or said cruel things to him like that in fact no one really has been cruel to the Omega in that way.

He genuinely never expected his mates drunken or not to say such terrible things to him, their words meant the world to him so he genuinely took it to heart and was scared to piss them off further.

What if they didn't want him anymore?

Oh his heart couldn't handle that.

So he kept quiet in the closet, snuggled deep into his nest as his alphas looked for him desperately.

Because he was scared of his alphas.

The Alphas were panicking as they desperately searched for their sweet mate until the scent of fear and hearbreak hit their nose, wafting from the guest room that mainly collected dust and the men tried to think of why he was so distressed when memories of last night came back... Oh god.

"I can't believe we said such shit to him" Koko said as the alphas instantly felt hurt in their heart, pull of their mating bond stinging as the Omega had obviously began crying once more, soft sniffles and crying could be heard from the room they stood infront of.

The door was slightly ajar, allowing them to quietly walk in and pumping out soothing pharamones to try and coax the Omega out, the men not quite sure what to do.

They never really had to do this before.

(Name) did not react like that, scent more stressed as he cried harder "(name) baby... We're sorry" Ran said as he gently opened the closet door and he would rather a punch in the face instead of his mates distressed and hearbroken scent and cries "I will be good alpha, please don't hate me!" He cried out, his Omega taking over as he obviously spent the night overthinking and his over imaginative brain came to the conclusion that they didn't want or love him anymore.

The men knew he was always slightly insecure about himself, the men having to go to brothels to check their properties and coming home smelling of horny omegas and sex eventually planted a small seed of doubt in (name)s head and last night made the poor Omega feel like his fears were confirmed.

Why else would they say things like that?

"Nonononono baby, you're such a good Omega! We love you so much!"

"We were being idiots baby" Mochi said softly and (name) hugged himself "why say things?!"

"We were stupid and didn't mean it, we were bad alphas to you baby... We are so sorry" kakucho said and Mikey came to the edge of the nest "come out (name), were so sorry" the fact that Mikey was apologizing spoke volumes as he was notoriously prideful and to apologize...

...he really felt shitty then.

"We love you so so much..."

"Why did you say it then?"

"We were drunk and it was no excuse, please let us fix this"

"We won't ever drink again!"

"S-such cruel things..."

"We now baby... Please let us make it up to you"

(Name) sniffled and slowly came out but the men could tell there was a wall between them, he was tense and his scent didn't change at all.

They really messed up and didn't know what to do.

The day was spent with crooning and scenting as they tried everything to make (name) feel better and ordering foods that (name) loved and basically make (name) feel like more of a prince than usual.

They felt like absolute shit and even Sanzu agreed that if they do ever drink, they stay at the headquarters.

Never were they going to put their sweet mate through this again.

YAYYYY YOU KNOW DAKOTA BACKSTORY NOW <333 YOU MADE IT !!!!!!

EPISODE 19 + 20 TRIVIA:

- they are all. so very sad. let me play you a song on the worlds tiniest violin

- charlie: "im angling my mic so i can lay on the ground"

- after 5 minutes of just going "im sad" "im sad" "me too" they are FINALLY talking about the episodes

- SUMMER AND DOUG !!!!!!!!!! ohhh i love them they are important 2 me

- the other heroes with summer and doug were fan created!!! the one with black and white hair is Portalgeist (teleportation power), the one with the green visor is Valence (no mention on their power), and then the pink one with the mask is Sleepyhead (sleep/illusion/dream powers) :]

- grizzly: "im glad the water thing worked!! william was proud of me because i didnt rush in and that meant a lot"

- "there is a reason dakota thinks there are three different summers and not just one summer, i think it'll probably come up when we meet the doctor" << HELLO??? i dont actually remember this. omg

- "i hope le frog can finally move on and get over us now. hes their problem now" MEAN 2 HIM !!!!!!

- william figuring out how to neutralize the demons........ woag (on that note he said his original intention was to turn it into a wisp. do with that what you will)

- moving onto 20 woooooo everyone sad again!

- bizly: "i have gone over it in my head a thousand times how i would present her and everything, i hope i did it some sort of justice because every time ive thought about it since you originally told that idea it has made me *this sad*"

- "DAKOTA COLE CHARACTER STUDY EPISODE" << this is such a huge win for me

- "dakota has been very scared to go see his aunt for a very long time. i dont think he ever would have done that alone. i almost wanted him to say that to you guys in the episode but i dont think he wouldve even processed it enough to admit that yet"

- condi and charlie both said they didnt really know what to say in character a lot kf the time but then they realized they didnt really have to say anything, the important part was that the characters where physically there for dakota in that moment

- grizzly: "i mean im sure it was a huge surprise for william and vyncent not just the scenario itself because dakota never talked about it, but the fact that i dont think theyve seen him get emotional like that. its always been sort of over the top righteous anger and never anything this soft or quiet" (charlie: im curling up in a ball on the floor)

- DAKOTA DAMASCUS !!!!!!!!!!!

- they (bizly and grizzly) were a little nervous about how well this was gonna play out because its such a direct real life kind of issue, but they both really like that it adds such a huge layer to dakotas character

- bizly: "i mean, you have this guy- both of his parents were literally killed in the wake of a superhero fight and he STILL grows up with the mindset of 'i wanna be a superhero!' and just this unwavering optimism and urge to do the right thing"

- condi: "i cant wait for us to get into william shit too i reaaally wanna get into whats going on with him"

charlie: "huh? what william stuff?"

condi, suddenly SUPER AGGRESSIVE: "I wanna go to *FUCKING DEADWOOD*"

- grizzly: "i mean william is scared of facing things so part of dakotas whole goal with this was to face something he was really scared of doing to hopefully inspire william to do the same"

- charlie: "i think ive said this before but i think william sees dakota as... making it. into the prime force, as a superhero, just as The Guy who stands out above us all, right. i think he sees dakota making it out of all of this. i don't think he sees that for himself."

grizzly: "dakota Will Not make it to that point without dragging william and vyncent up with him. hes not gonna leave them behind for anything"

- "there are a lot of things william would pry into way too much, i mean its literally on his sheet as one of his complications, but i dont think he would ever pry about this unless dakota brought it up first and wanted to talk about it" aaaahhh the ghostkicksisms

- bizly had said someone had been in the apartment recently, which was weird because his aunt has been in rehab for a WHILE. grizzly doesnt even know who it couldve been

- they said they intentionally kept the details of her rehab sort of vague, they didnt want to get too into the descriptions of it bc that would be too real and too heavy and they wouldnt want to represent anything like that in a poorly handled way. generally though she is there for addiction/alcoholism

- "how pissed would you guys be if we got to the end of the campaign and le frog was the final boss" and they all get VERY GENUINELY ANNOYED JUST AT THE THOUGHT OF THAT POSSIBILITY "bizly i would leave. i would quit"

- charlie: "i have NOTABLY *not* been using a secret identity for a LONG time. because i think william stopped taking the whole hero thing seriously, he doesnt see a point in it anymore"

- bizly says they have already met who he plans to be the final villain of the whole campaign!! theyre trying to guess now, charlie says it would be cool if it was mark (holy shit), grizzly says mal !!!! he thinks mal is going to take the tricksters power in some way. he also jokingly said it would be funny if harlem shade turned out to be the main bad guy because he would have fun playing him as a villain. (condi had to leave early so he doesnt get a guess) . charlie says they all have their own Big Villains right now (wiwi has mal, vyncent has the lich, grizzly doesnt have one yet but he probably will eventually), but he doesnt necessarily see mal becoming THE villain. neither of them think the trickster is going to be the main villain since the whole point of season 2 has been to get ashe back

- GRIZZLY ADMITS HE THINKS MARK IS A REDEEMABLE CHARACTER. WIN !!!!!!!!!!!

DAKOTA CHARACTER STUDY WHOOOOO!!!!!! I MADE IT!!!!!!! a little blood covered and trembling but i made it!!! also jesus i have a BACKLOG of trivia u sent me i wanna talk about so bad... thank u king btw. its so fucking awesome 2 finish an episode & then receive so much trivia about it. fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me (<- can't stop fucking saying that now!!)

I LOOVE the prime rifterssss i love fan created characterssss theyre so good!!! man. i love summer and doug. yeah even doug. also YEAH the reason he fucking thinks there's three summers is because he has FUCKING BRAIN DAMAGE from ONE MILLION CONCUSSIONS and JUMPING OFF A SKYSCRAPER and being EXPERIMENTED ON!!!!! NKDFKDFGHfgk. or at least. thats what i think.

i also thought he was gonna turn it into a wisp!!!!!!! i was so surprised when it didnt work... my assumption is that they were like, different variants of the same thing, whatever that thing fucking is. which. i guess is maybe not true!! wild.

FEELING INSANE OVER EPISODE 20. LIKE. IN GENERAL. joining charlie in a fucking ball on the floor tbh. what i will say before i spend like, a fucking week sorting through my thoughts & shit is that i do think they did a really good job w/ handling the addiction plot point... whenever anything like that comes up it really is always a crapshoot of like oh okay is this going to be unintentionally shitty to addicts. is this going to be wildly inaccurate. is it going to be ableist. etc etc etc. & i think the vague and blurry brushstrokes that they Did draw were really well done... more specific detail wouldn't have carried nearly as much weight as that description of their trashed rotting apartment & the way they reacted 2 seeing each other !!! wails and cries and throws up.

ALSO, the way his parents were killed feels like such a fucking missing piece slotting into place for his character? i had figured that-- ok i knew his parents were dead & i also knew he'd had.. personal experience with the um. violent and dangerous area of effect superheroism has. but knowing they were collateral damage in that umm. knockoff darkseid? darkstar? fight makes so much sense irt his perception of heroism & not wanting to be responsible for deaths. god.

& ummm i'm feeling fucking normal about "he sees dakota making it out of all this, he doesn't see that for himself." & "he doesn't see a point in the superhero thing anymore" like, we knew that already. but. doesn't make it easier to hear!! MORALLY AMBIGUOUS VIGILANTE WILLIAM WISP WHEN.

i have no idea who the bbeg is gonna be dude. oh my god. its gonna end up being fucking alan (allen??) or something. it's gonna be one of the s5. this is amogus now. anyway. GOOD EPISODE!!!

Sys remedy for Equinophobia

Masterlist

Summary: when sy and his wife finally settle on the syverson family ranch there was one hiccup sy didnt account for.

Warnings: fluff, porbably incorrect horse info

A/N: i wanted to make some fluff, and whats better then fluffy cute supportive sy?

"Okay here we go bug, right through here. Dont you worry sugar i got ya" sy spoke from behinde you holdingnboth of your hands as he lead you into the stables of your texan ranch.

To say he was nervous was an understatement . Sy was bricking it. He had done something a bit rash, and hadnt really thought about the consequences if everything went south. But on the other hand he was also confident in his genius.

When sy had met you, you were a proper city 'yuppy' been brough up in the steel jungle of high-rises and the fast paced modern life. After making an honest woman out of you and marrying you whilst he was in the forces he had managed to pull you around to the idea of a simpler life. Years of you living on a quiet suburban barracks had helped him ease you into his way of thinking.

And when he finally took early retirement you had both agreed to move out to texas and take over sy's family ranch, buying out his ageing uncle and taking over the homestead.

Life on the ranch was strange, a mix of super fast paced calving season and then seeing to the crop of hay for the winter, and keepjng ontop of the heard kf cattle whislt also maintaining all the fences, feeding and up keep of the place. But then at the same time it was also quiet. No sirens or people rushing around, just peace and quiet with sy racing across the dirt road in his betsy, the syverson family heirloom tractor that always sound like she was about to konk out but never did.

It was busy, but a peacfull busy. Sy was home each and every night, and youd share a bottle of wine on the porch swing, or stargaze on the lawn. And on the few days where there was nothing to do you would go into town, or be naughty and skinny dip in the lake.

Well you used to skinny dip, but sy hooked a fish. Now swim trunks were a must. Though a few weeks later he did teach you how to fish this time with a rod and reel.

Youd fallen inlove with the syverson homestead the second you set foot on its wide open space. But the one thing you still hadnt gotten used to were the horses. My god! No one told you they were so fucking big!

I mean yeah they were meant to be big because people rode then. But jesus christ! Cheif was a beast. An 17 hand high mega horse that had a habit of eating hair. Your hair specifically. Honestly it was a fear you hadnt known you had untill ckmin to live on the ranch but horses? They just werent your thing. Sy had tried a few times to help you face your fear with a few of the other smaller gentle horses but no. You were nervous of them and it always ended in in tears as you spooked a nervous horse and they bolted making you all but piss yourself.

He felt for you, he truly did. You liked the horses and wanted to ride, brush and help care for them. You were just scared of their size and power. And sy did understand that, yoh were a tiny thing yourself, so the stallions he thought were a tad big, were huge to you. But then sy had a thought, a last ditch attempt to help you get over your fear and give you the gift of a horses gentle companionship. To sy there was nothing compared to being a horses favourite person. The trusting bound was just indescribable, and he so desperately wanted you to experience it yourself.

"Sy? Sy where are we?... are we in the stables?" Sy bit his lip hearing the panic seepjng into your voice and your hands darted to the blindfold. God knows he wouldnt uave got you in here without it.

"Yeah;" he stared speaking but didnt get more then a single word out before you squeaked and jolted back trying to revers out of the stables.

"Sy no, no dont you put me in with him! Please dont make me touch him! I cant, i cant please please dont" you begged trying to cut and run, terror taking over you at the thought of being ushered into the huge freisians stall.

"Whoa now, calm yourself im not making you touch chief...i wouldnt do that to you" sy soothed somehow manageing to press you farward kissing your hair lghtly humming to you softly as he passed his own steed who had come to the door as if smelling you fear. Honestly Chief would never hurt a fl, he was just a little shit that seemed to enjoy messing with you.

You ducked slitly as if feeling the stallions eyes watching you as you walked further into the long line of stalls. And funally sy stopped and turned you.

"Here. A little closer. There ya go, just hold the stall door" he coaxed slowly, inching you forward to the stall. You shivered ducking further almost anticipating a horses head to suddenly pop up infront of you.

"Sy?" You questioned, moving your hands infront of you searching for the door. Yoh yeled when you touched it and pulled back li,e it has scalded you. But sy was insistent and held your hands lifting them to hold the top of the stalls door.

"There we go, your alright love. I promise your fine okay? Do you trust me?" Sy hummed quietly, careful not to spook your little gift. Who was now looking up at the both of you curiously. God he hopes he hadnt fucked up.

"Yeah i do,im just... scared" you whimpered almost breathless in your anxiety. Sy took one last glance to the stalls residant before drawing hos onw nervous breath. Here goes nothing.

"Well you can take off your blind fold now" he uttered thightly, praying to god you didnt rip him a new one for his last mineut decision at the market. He went there to pick up a few more chickens for the garden. And well. Yeah he might have bit off a bit more then he can handle.

You quickly took the blindfold off, tugging it down as if your life depended on it and glanced up around the stall, expectingnto be face to nose with a stallion who was all saddled up for you to try again. There was nothing here; oh my god.

You froze as your gaze dropped and your eyes landed on possibly the most adorable thing you had ever seen in your entire life. There in amongst the hay was a tiny brown horse.Holy shit.

"Sy whats tha; oh god. Oh god thats a? Sy?" You squeeked eyes widening as the tiny horse stood up slowly and eyed you curiously, making a tiny high pitched whinny.

Sy smiled. Gotcha. He felt pride wash over him as you turned to mush over the foal. His great plan seemed off to a cracking start. Women like baby things, so how better to help his wife over her fear of horses then to buy her, her very own foal to help hand rear. He moved next to you a d leant on the top of the door peaking in at the small draft foal.

"Yep poor little thing was just being brought into the farmers market. I couldnt just leave him there. He was scared stiff" he said casually, and lowered a hand into the stall and clicked his tongue a few times lureing to fola over. Luckily it was well socialised because it had been fed by hand since day one.

Sy noticed you didnt jerk away as the tiny thing wobbled over to you both, still half asleep. And quickly began pretting him. Youtr fingers twitched, the need to pet the baby was almost to much.

"Oh my god sy hes so tiny; is he a baby? Why do we have a baby horse? how old is he?" You gushed, voiced growing higher as you eyed the foal with huge eyes cooing over him. Sy scoffed trying not to chuckle as you didnt know what to call him. But then again youd never seen a horse in real life untill moving here. So how would you remeber baby horses were foals?

"Yeah he is a young'un. And they are called foals. He's about a week old. He's an orphan. His mama didnt survive the birth and he needed to much care so they were selling him" sy explained whislt giving the foal some much needed nose pets and neck sdcratches.

"And well he was a sweet lil' thing nickering and stuff. Little bugger came right up to me when i called and nuzzled. So he has a good temperament" sy carried on and sgrinned as your hand moved slowly, reaching out to pet the side of his tiny head. Sys heart almost burst when you beamed down at the foal. When he pressed his cheek into your hand.

"What are you nameing him?" Yoh said quietly desperate not to spook the small horse letting you pet him.

"Im not. Hes yours" sy shrugged pulling his hand away letting you bond with the foal alone.

At his declaration you frowned and napped your head to sy, shaking your head a little. Lost for words. But sy noted even in your shock you hadn't stop petting the foal.

"What? Sy i dont think i can;" sy held up a hand silencing you quickly before you talked yourself into a tizzy.

"Are you about to tell me your fear of horses will stop you from goin' in there and cuddling up with that tiny foal?" He quizzed critically. A smug knowing smirk crossing his face as he flicked his gaze down to the foal again. Somehow your othernhand has slipped over the door and you were smoothering him with soft pets and scratches.

"I... well he does look like he needs a snuggle" you acquiesced looking back down to the gentle baby.

"He needs a mama bear and you are just the woman. His formula is in the feed room, he needs it every hour or two for a week or so. But dont worry, im not expecting you to do all the work,ive already told the guys and made a feeding chart" he explained and tapped the small chart you hadnt noticed was pinned bedise the stall. A grid with times and dates on it and a few already ticked off.

"He is about ready now for a feed, luckily for you iv prepared some for you to give him" sy anounced and picked up the premade bottle that was on the floor. And then handed it to you.

"O-okay do i err call him or?" You uttered nervously. Youd never done anything like this before and wanst entirely sure what to do.

"I dont think you need to look at him, sees the food and bam wide awake. Here just tip it up a little. There we go, see such a happy little fella" sy instructed but the foal was already latching one and drinking happily, wagging is tail like a pup.

You cooed at him, baby talk slipping out as you praised the foal for drinking. Encouraging him to grow big and strong. Sy grinned as you seemed to forget he was even there. Yeah this was definitely going to be a success story.

"We should keep him on the bottle for a few days then try to bucket feed him, bottles not really good for 'em honestly the stables he was from didnt seem to know what to do with him" he added watching with a huge grin as the foal melted your heart just li,e he had intended.

"Hes so soft and gentle" you said tipping the bottle higher making sure there were no air bubbles near the nipple. You ran your hand through the foals short mane with a smile.

"Most horses are love, but they are mischievous to. Well chief is. He senses your fear thats why he plays up for you" he offered glancing the the huge black stallion who chose that moment to snort loudly. It would appear he had heard sy.

"He is just so tiny~ arent you? Such a sweet little boy hmm? Yes you are~ so skinny to, we need to get you all filled out" you ccoed, falling i to the voice all women used when interacting with babies.

"So your not mad i got you the very thing your terrified of?" Sy asked slightly sheepish. He still felt a tad guilty, he didnt want to force you. Just help, he knew deep down you wanted to get along with the horses and was disappointed when you let your fe ar get the better of you.

"I dont think so no. I mean maybe Tuppence here can help me over my fear? You know just untill he gets bigger" and there it was. The official acceptance. Youd named him and he was now a permanent fixture on the ranch.

"Tuppence?" Sy tested the name on his tongue tippingnhis head to the side. It was a good name, different. He liked it, maybe he should let you name all of the new arrivals.

"Yeah he has a... old soul feel to him, so Tuppence. Dont you like it? Its not a very horsey name" you hummed eyeing the foal sweetly. Before frowning second guessing your new babies name.

"Tuppence is perfect for him, Im relieved you didnt name him star light rainbow moon beam." He quipped and curled himself around you nuzzling your hair before ducking down kissing your neck lightly.

"Aww look he likes me~" you exclaimed softly as Tuppence tilted his head to your hand, following it begging for ear rubs as he nursed.

"He does, he knows he found his new mama" sy hummed relishing in the fact that he had managed to find a way to help you. Not onpy that it was darn chte watching you go all gaga over a foal.

"Thank you sy, this was a wonderful gift... im still not going near chief though. Not yet anyway" you thanked him with a big kiss to his cheek making him glow with pride. Sy was incredibly pleased with himself.

"Of course sugar, wouldnt dream of putting you two together yet" he promised. Though thats not to say he can wait untill you were confident with Tuppence and finally stood uo to chief and showed him you wont put up with his nonsense anymore. He was excited, hed make a proper rancher out of you yet.

Please... You’re scaring me

Fandom: Young Justice, Dick Grayson/Wally West Written around 7 years ago for the dialogue prompt “Please... you’re scaring me” Read it on AO3 “Rob? What are you doing?” Wally said as he rubbed his physics textbook glazed eyes to see the young hero outside his bedroom window.

While Wally was never opposed to Dick crawling in through his window in the middle of the night (not like that, Dick is just a total night owl and sometimes takes Wally with him when he’s getting into trouble) he did have a test tomorrow and while it would probably be easy, he promised his parents he’d try to get some sleep tonight. Then again, Wally broke promises to his parents all the time.

He walked over to open the window and was startled to see that Dick was dressed entirely in black. While what he wore as a civilian changed drastically (his school uniform and suits when they were in Gotham, everything from tanks tops to skirts to sundresses and brightly colored scarves when they were anywhere else) he always wore the Robin suit at night.

‘You always have to be ready for an emergency,’ he’d say. 'Well you don’t KF, you’re pretty much always ready, but the rest of us y’know?’

Wally did know. Which was why he was so surprised to by the lack of the costume right now.

His surprise didn’t end there. As soon as the window was open, Dick entered the room. That was pretty normal. What wasn’t normal was the way he looked around like he’d never been in here before. And this wasn’t 'curious Dick Grayson exploring the interactive exhibits at the Central Science Museum’ looking around, this was ‘Robin assessing the threats and assets of a location’ looking around. It wasn’t the kind of examination that needed, or should be happening, in Wally’s bedroom.

When Wally took a step toward Dick, his friend’s gaze snapped toward him and regarded him coldly. “Uh, Rob?”

“Wallace West,” uh oh, that couldn’t possibly be good, “the Court of Owls has sentenced you to die.”

“Huh?”

Real smooth Wally. Definitely the proper way to respond to the situation.

Luckily, he didn’t have to really think about talking because instead of answering him, Dick just surged forward. Wally was a speedster, so he could have easily stepped out of the way, but whether it was curiosity or just plain old shock, something kept him rooted in place. Dick slammed into him and then pinned him against the wall, one arm braced against his throat. It didn’t escape Wally that his friend had to practically stand on his tiptoes to keep him pinned.

“Dude,” he said, feeling Dick’s arm press harder as he began talking, “if you think you’ve got me, you are so wrong.” And then he swept his leg in arc aimed at Dick’s ankles. Dick jumped over his foot, but that took the pressure off his throat, which was all Wally needed to use his speed to grab Dick’s arm and throw him to the side as Wally ran to the middle of his room.

Dick immediately spun to face him. He’d drawn two escrima sticks- something Wally had occasionally seen him practicing with in Mount Justice’s gym- and then clicked something that made small little knives shoot out the ends. Wally wasn’t positive but he was pretty sure that defeated the point of that particular weapon. Also Dick was grinning, and he was starting to get seriously freaked out. He caught himself stepping backward when he saw Dick advance.

He had to get out of this cramped little room if they were really going to fight. “Hey y’know, maybe we can just talk this out? Whatdya say, whoever is up there in that noggin? Wanna talk about it?”

“No one controls me,” Dick growled. He didn’t strike, but Wally could see his muscles tense. If he provoked him any more, he knew he would.

“Well, now I know you’re not my friend, because Batman absolutely controls Robin’s life.”

That was supposed to get a rise out of him. Instead Dick just cocked his head. He looked for all the world like he was trying to figure out what relevance that could possibly have to the situation at hand. That was very not good.

“If you hold still, this can be painless.”

Fuck.

“Sorry man, ’still’ isn’t really in my vocabulary.”

“I hoped to test my skills anyway.”

And then Dick lunged.

This time, Wally didn’t intend to stay still long enough for Dick to land a blow. He immediately jumped out of the way, running around and behind Dick. He landed a pretty solid kick to the back of Dick’s knee. Instead of getting caught off guard by his leg collapsing under him though, Dick just knelt on his good knee and spun, one escrima-knife arcing toward Wally’s legs. He jumped away and waited for Dick’s next move.

It was unnerving for Dick to be this quiet when they were fighting. Wally knew that it wasn’t really him up in there, but it was still unnerving.

“Those skills aren’t serving you too well right now, huh?”

Dick didn’t respond, just stood up and attacked Wally again. This time he was ready and jumped right as Dick came in close, using his back as a vault and landing on… a loose piece of paper. Wally just had time to swear before the traitorous psychics homework slid right out from under him, taking his leg with it.

Dick got up before he could and didn’t hesitate to jump onto his chest, one blade resting on Wally’s throat. He grinned. That was an expression Wally recognized. That was the ‘gotcha’ grin.

“Please Rob,” he said, and he could feel his voice tremble a little, god, his best friend was going to kill him, “…you’re scaring me.”

Dick pushed the blade harder against his throat and Wally felt a line of blood travel down his neck. The cut itself would heal in a negligible amount of time, but the threat remained.

“Wallace West,” Dick said again, much quieter this time, “the Court of Owls has sentenced you to die.” But despite the ease with which he could have done it, Dick didn’t kill him. He didn’t move at all.

After what felt like an eternity but was probably only a second or two, Wally whispered, just as quietly as Dick had, “why?“

Dick opened his mouth, presumably about to explain the secret agenda of whatever fucked up organization the Court of Owls was, but Wally didn’t wait. He shoved Dick off his chest and sprinted for the window, barely pausing before launching himself to the street below. He bent his knees to absorb most of the impact, but he felt a muscle in his leg twinge at the landing. He may have taken gymnastics for years but he wasn’t Dick.

Speaking of…

He turned and watched Dick climbing out of his window, clearly about to pursue Wally. Good. He waited until Dick jumped for the ground then he ran off, glancing over his shoulder occasionally to make sure his friend was still following.

He’d lose him later, but first Wally needed to make sure he got this threat (he still couldn’t believe he was thinking of Dick as a threat but he clearly wasn’t in his right mind) away from his family and any civilians he might hurt to try and get to Wally.

Wally looked back to see Dick following him from the rooftops.

“What happened to you Rob?” he said to himself. “and who is the Court of Owls?”

The empty streets of Central City didn’t have any answers for him.

Wally kept running.

Hi there!! I saw your requests are open. I would love to request a twisted wonderland match up (both romantic and platonic!) If it's too much - you can just do a romantic one ^^ (also pardon my english!! i'm not a native speaker ><)

I'm 22 this year, she/her and 5'1! My sun sign is libra and my MBTI fluctuates between INFJ and INFP. I reaaally love animals! This includes crawlies and reptiles. Many people know how much I love infodumping them about creatures like frogs etc. Aside from animals, I love playing games and cute stuffs like sanrio, kirby and san-x. I listen to a lot of JPOP and Japanese indie songs as well as vocaloid. I sometimes do wear casual lolita outfits or Jfashion style! Also my favourite colour is yellow so most of my outfits and stuffs around me are just yellow coloured. People gets really surprised about me liking horror and true crimes a lot because of how I act and based on my other interests. I really like reading horror mangas like Junji Ito's works, watching horror movies and listening to true crimes or supernatural stories. Speaking of people, I'm usually the one who gets teased the most (and I'm fine with that) - my friends joke I'm like the child of the group because I tend to get lost easily if they don't keep an eye on me and also I'm short dkjfjfh. I also really like doing art in general - I draw and recently trying to do clay arts! I care a lot about my work and my friends do say that I'm hardworking albeit anxious when it comes to work or being around strangers especially people who are more vocal and appear judgemental,, but I realise at the end of the day, people who approach me and being patient or kind to me tend to become fast close friends in my case! I think thats about it- thank you again for doing this and I hope you have a good week ahead 🌻

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! Both platonic and romantic will be on this post. The romantic will be first and platonic will be the one right after it! Honorable mentions for romantic prompt goes to Kalim, Jade, Rook, and Idia.

Also! You're English is absolutely fine! You've done perfect😊. If you don't mind me asking and you tray don't have to answer, what is your native language? I like being able to learn new ones!

I match you with......

Lilia Vanrouge

• We've all seen this ancient fae grandpa man. Even if he is short in this form (as it's been hinted that this isn't his true form), he will always be taller than you and he finds that absolutely adorable. On top of the way way you dress, especially in the Lolita style? He is head over heels. We know this far must have certainly made his way around the block before. He's ancient, and he's got the looks. Trust me, if this man is as seriously whipped for you as everyone firmly believes he is? You are one very special person in his life. Aside from his boys, of course.

• It's Canon that that this man games, and has game nights with Idia. You are now included in said gaming nights, even if is sometimes just the two of you. The both of you have so much fun with it, much to Idia's dismay, as you can hear him gagging on the other end of the voice chat if the two of you get all lovey with each other.

• Now, just because you're dating, doesn't mean he's holding back on his pranks or someone put kf nowhere to scare the living daylights out of you. Just the opposite, now it's worse, congratulations. If you're careful enough, you MIGHT be able to catch him before ehe swoops in, both literally and figuratively.

• Dating this fae instantly means you've essentially become Silver's mama. He doesn't mind. With your mixed personality, especially the beloved INFP side of the personality, he finds it very easy to relax and be comfortable around you. There have been many times he had fallen asleep either next to you and his head has fallen on your shoulder, or outside and his head is now in your lap. Lilia had quite a collection of pictures. It's a good thing you love animals because when Silver is like this, you just flock to the both of you with no worries. Lilia has a lot of those photos as well.

• For the love of the Seven, please save this poor dorm from the nuclear waste that is Lilia cooking. Even if you're cooking isn't the best, anything is better than ehay abomination that Lilia has prepared! Just trust me on this.

• I die on the hill that Lilia would love to have a family with you, and a big one at that. But if you don't want one so big, he is respectful of that. But that doesn't mean be would come back from the woods with another baby from time to time. This fae is insatiable.

• Overall, once his eyes are on you, and you have granted him the permission (consent is sexy, y'all), to be called his and for him to be yours, this man will never leave your side. And you've got yourself a 17 year old child along the way!

Now for our platonic match up!

I match you with.......

Idia Shroud

• This man is the biggest nerd on anime and its culture. He us fully aware of the Lolita and JPOP look. The fact that you're short (RIP, this man is like 6ft 2), makes this even better. You guys met on one of the night he and Lilia were gaming with one another. While he has his camera off (as always), Lilia pays no mind to his own camera, he knows he looks good (the confidence), and you happen to come into the room with some snacks. All it took was one look at Lilia's face and he knew.

• He's not a people person, but I can see him being rather good at understanding ones body language, especially if no one is speaking. He gets the anxiety, the fear about bring around other people, especially strangers. You cinside in that with him.

• This man loves horror. You love horror. You're now best friends. Of course there was a lot more steps before you guys reached that phase on the friendship route but y'all made it there in the end. You guys have had your fair share of late night binge watching the latest horror shows, games, or even reading the books and Manga. He is also your biggest supplier. Bestie spoils you.

• Eventually you guy are pretty much like brother and sister. Ortho has dubbed you the title of 'Big Sister' and now he calls you that all of the time and it's adorable. Precious murder baby.

• Now, we all know this man can NOT do confrontation, but as soon as you've essentially reached 'Honorary Sibling' status with him, he will go to Lilia, pretty much having the , you hurt my baby sibling and I will end you, kind of a talk, even if it fizzled about half way through. He's trying his best, okay!?

• Overall, after the sibling achievement has been unlocked, he is essentially your ride or die best friend. He may not do a lot, but when he commits, he COMMITS.

You told me about your family so it’s only fair I tell you about mine!!!

The Flash is tall and muscular but always comes off small when he’s next to people like Superman or Wonder Woman on the rare occasions we’re allowed at the Hall of Justice-And only ever in the library or gym! For shame! He’s very handsome tho, his hair is that darker strawberry blonde you don’t see very often in either reality. He’s also very kind and surprisingly funny! He gets points just for tolerating us!!! He really deserves them.

Speedsters are always SO warm, it has something to do with their body’s metabolism? Their hearts are super fast too like hummingbirds even when they’re asleep! They go through shoes like most people go through paper napkins! Constant repairing for shoes. Sometimes they get so excited they start vibrating!!! Sometimes when they’re scared or anxious they vibrate and can’t stop until they calm down which usually means handing them something to ground themselves.

Kid Flash is really funny too!!! His favorite joke is answering calls while vibrating his vocal cords so it sounds like he’s talking into a fan. He’s combined it with helium before and it’s HILARIOUS! I don’t know for sure if he really knows Nightwing but Nightwing isn’t really a commonly known superhero so much as a benevolent local cryptid people leave little thank you letters or candy out for, so I’ll take his word for it! He flirts with any girl in a hundred miles who even looks at him but is more picky with boys. I think he fears rejection there more than he does with girls, which I can’t blame him for… He’s not very good at phasing yet and keeps running directly into walls because of it-We try very hard not to laugh because he doesn’t think it’s funny.

They’re both surprisingly friendly with some of the rogues-The Flash says that allowing the more reasonable, predictable criminals to keep the others in line is better than letting a power vacuum happen since that would just get violent faster than they can clean up. He has conditions on that but we’re not supposed to mess with them too much. Sometimes a call is just a newly developed meta who’s scared and doesn’t know what’s going on so they always try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

We’ve never met any of the Bat family but the Flash says they’re probably vampires or something. I can never tell if he’s joking or it’s a real theory of his. None of us have been to Gotham aside from the Flash-KF has been to its sister city though!-so I can’t say I have any evidence to the contrary or for it.

Kid Flash is friends with a red head I’m yet to properly meet and a tall blond girl who KF flirts with a lot. She doesn’t seem to find it funny but never asks him to stop so I guess it’s complicated there. He’s a more senior hero than I am so he gets to know more than I do which I’m totally okay with!!! Im content to heal and mend for now!

Sorry for the long ask! ❤️⚡️

*me noting all this down ✍️*

Thank you for all this useful information! I love hearing about your DR :)

Also, Flash, I am offended. We are NOT vampires (maybe) /j

I need all the Travelers in the God au to have at least one scene where they just use their true form and scare the shit out of everyone.

Hikari vs Mugen except it isn't even a battle. It's just Brand finally crushing the Curse he took on and then letting out all his rage against Mugen because how dare he do this in his name. How dare he spill blood for the sake of Conquest and not to bring peace. How dare he. The fight is not a fight. It is judgement and everyone screams for Mugen's head. And who is Brand to deny that? The Earth shakes in fear in his rage.

Arcanette is mocking Temenos and all of a sudden things go insanely bright and you have Aelfric stand before her and tell her she's a fool for thinking she can defeat him. Light always finds a way and just because he's good doesn't mean he's Merciful. He doesn't have to be Merciful to those who twist and manipulate. Light consumes her and burns her from the inside out.

Castti looks upon Timberain and its rain and is eternally grateful for the interventions she's made with her Apothecaries. She's eternally grateful for intervening and making sure they never go down this Nihilistic Path. And then she takes a deep breath and Dohter steps forward to cleanse the rain and waters, walking by the houses to see if her Apothecaries can go to all the houses before walking outside the walls and cleansing those who were unfortunately caught in the crossfire.

Ori is dying at the Fellsun Ruins, realizing last minute that she wants to live and seeing Partitio step forward and apologize. And then she blinks and sees Bifelgan gently telling her that it isn't her time yet and that he's sorry that the world was cruel to her when it should never be. And then she closes her eyes and wakes up at the inn with an Apothecary telling her that a Merchant came by and brought her here at almost impossible speeds and how all they could feel is dread at the idea of their own end. Trade means many things after all.

Harvey laughs at Osvald, saying how he will never be as good as him, and then the moment Elena exits the picture, he feels the Elements crush him. And he sees Alephan walking forward telling him knowledge that he doesn't even know and it's too much and then in a blink he's gone.

Claude marvels at his spawn and how she refused to cut down three of her siblings with her. And then that marvel turns into horror as she steps forward and reveals herself. Aeber is the Prince of Thieves and Treasure and Belongings. And she has decided that her siblings are hers and themselves and no one else's. He wanted a garden? Then rot in it forever. Be undying as your children thrive in your rot and you in turn can not die. A blessing she "borrowed" from Aelfric and Dohter.

Ochette looks to the Lajackel and cries for him and his years. He did not deserve it. The Lajackel looks up and sees Draefendi, the creator of all beasts and nuzzles up to her, comforted by the thought that the god still sees him as himself and not a dark creature. He passes in peace and happiness that the goddess will strike down all those who try to recreate his condition.

Agnea invites Dolcinaea to a dance in private and both of them do dance. They dance in joy and happiness and Dolcinaea turns and sees Sealiteage happy and laughing. And she is in awe by her beauty and voice. And she hears the goddess tell her that she only needs to worry about herself and that her own talents brought her that far. That she used none of her powers to win. That all of it was just what she truly was. If she used her powers then everyone would fall at her feet and give them their everything. There is something comforting and horrifying about that.

TES YE SYE SYSZYEYSYESY YES YES TES TO ALL KF THIS I LOVE THIS

the travelers have all gone through so much they‘ve earned utterly crushing their opponents with divine fury

its really still a problem. i am reading mark aurel which is all about focusing on urself and pracising kind hearted not comparing urself too others not envy and so on and then this stunning stunning stunning young woman comes, dark hair teint skin beuatifuk mouth beuatofuk smile suoer young oerfect akin very beautifuk body but akk in a very subtle way. she smiles to me i smile bavk i admire her but and this sistrubs me i still envy her. i wish i had her beauty and her eaziness soorit the effortless sex appeal. next to her i feek old, wasted and kind of trying to be ridicule. i need to wear rhose toght things to he recognized I need to really ahoe my hody but she is not doing anything kf jt and still glowing. but it ahoukd he omay and i ahoukd not feek bad aboht mysekf just because she js suoer stunning. why am i doing it. its all just to put myself down. but i knkw irs a fact a fact i just oainky should accept and mkve on. be grateguk for the bidy i am in as i an prraching everyday and saying hoe much i love myself now. apparently i am not there yet. hiw can i get over it and just recognize and cherish her beuaty fulk stop. i dont hate her fir being behaitfuk i just wish it coukd be me instead. i think my kifr woukd be so much better if i looked like that but what woukd be better? i know she is a beautifuk kind soul the way she smiles gives jt off. its not like i would be taking this beautiful body and losing a beautiful character bc she clearly has it all…so what am i scared for. the man or woman I like, likes her better fir her beauty and her character? so it be, then it simply means they are a better match. if she is oreferred for something like getting into a club I am not, so it be. it is not my oath to be in this club as it is not my path to be with this person. but then how to jot feel sorry for urself as it all just seems unfair. and i think this is the crucial part. everythingabout us is beautiful if we are doing it with a compass liek mark aurek out of honesty purity and kind hearted ness every little thought ( it is okay to be jealous I am not there yet) but I am really trying. I might bit get into the club, i should say c’est la vie, and might go hoke with a fresh mind crrating something amazing. it has the same value. or does it not? therr is no such thing as objectively speaking thats why POV became such a thing i guess but yes. lets try to oretend objectively which means a lot kf opinions gathered she is getting into the club meeting tons of amazing oeiple and sancing to incredibke music. over girl going home and chilking thwre no ine cates aboht her. but it is also with what aurek says caring about what ithers think and do its espeically the problem!! I inky have my now and here out if my eyes and my heart and it is supposed to be like that. and ofc im thinkinf hundert peopke consider it to he better like this or like that basically this is how democracy works, how can I vakidate my own opinion as much as them 100 if it comes to, it is the same good to be rejected and go hike than be in the club? its the same old same okd question about. which opinion values how can i crrate my value without the measurements of others. i am always coming to this. i sint want peiple to think i am a narcisisit egoman if i dont give a fuck aboht theyre opinions amd weigh mine way higher. it is trucky to maneuver in that mindest without becomung ignorant. but at the same time i dont want to live through grow through prosper thorigh affirmation hell no that aounds like hell. i want to affirm mysekf. it is maybe because ut is the sustainabke way. when we think about rivers and flyids which i cam to visualize when we had a saying about einfluss neglej und beeinflussen which also inckudes the river interesntinfky and aurel is talking alout aboht the stream and i think it is pary of live as blood is streaming through our veines and we need ghe water and the fluids, the circulation is life. bht coming back to the asoect of sustainabikty. listen imagine your own body giving ur own body ur own bacteria ur own blood cells when we tal

lol my paragrpah was maxed oht i do too much bla bla. but yes if we i somt want to go into biologism to much i never want to dsocirmante bodies espeicalky when it comes to genetics we always have to he carefuk to not get into any natuonalism discimnating fucked up shit. but I think my own body loves theri own system the most and it csn get a lot of her own system. its a little bit maybe kets talk about skin its better. my dahrer always refused to wash us too much as babies and in general he as this pladoyer: ur own bidy crrates fat that oeitect the skin, washing it away sith oerfumed shampoo gel to then out chemical body lotion sossnt seem to be an enhancement for the skin seems pretty ligicak to me. I mean everyone has their own bekiefs and ways but I kove to appreciate what my vody creates and what my body does. I know i am talking aboht an abled healthy skin ans i know some peiple just love to smeell like thousand rose leafs. byt i find that metaphor pretty good for also souk stuff. what my own body gives to my body is because it is healthy important disclaimer sensefull and good for me. it pribably matches my needs better than any artificial or natural product which fits affirmation from outside. of course fhe cream snells nice i feek fresh but then, my bidy get used to this crram wnats more of this crram and stips crrating its own fat to protect the skin maybe. I always have to buy this cream and its exterior, it will never last. i need it nee alk the time

i need rhat affirmation it feeks good but it wont last, my own afformation whereby comes naturally fits my needs and it is independent on any outer things. and this is why the value for me of my own affirmation wighs heavier than any of other people. i feel free and i feel good avoht jt but ifc still i am here comoaring mayelf to a maybe 19 year old woman that i wikk never be and never was. and its okay like fhaf but i need ti remind myself and i am disappointed inmyself still that it affects me so much and my head us gilled aitb it instead kf kther thints. but at the same time i lay down write this down and reflect on it so i hope i pray but i also

know that the next time i get inti a situation like that ill feel differently. I see feel hear taste the world thourgh my eyes and I love that I appreciate so many good food so much so many nice music ao many beuatofuk animals buidlings chikdrens families situations ( sometimes i dont of course madness, sexism, racism exploitation hatred and injsutice of the workd) but Its all meant for me. and i need tk accept and allrecate this. trhough my mind baby through my mind and love ur mind, it diesnt mean you think her mind sucks, it is beautifuk for sure, but its her mind her life her feelings hers and its good to see ssomeone havinf it like that its just an insoiratuon and a joy if beuaty and smiles which is for free and contagious( but Its all meant for me. and i need tk accept and allrecate this.

SHE HAS A THERAPIST AND DIDNT SEE HER AFTER SKMEONE KILLED BERSELF IN FRONT KF HER?

Lmfao oh.mt god.

She's talking to her therapist and- nope. Her psychiatrist. She's talking to her psychiatrist as if she's a therapist. Fine. Whatever. But she's like "I feel... Fear. Guilt." And her therapist is like "guilt???" And she's like "she was my patient" and her therapist is condescendingly like "she was a woman experiencing a paranoid delusion you knew for ten minutes" girlie. Girlie.

Her fucking. She asks her psychiatrist for a sleep medication and she's like. No lol. And then she's like "I'm seeing things and hearing things" in what world would a licensed and practicing psychiatrist say that and not be more specific. Like. "I'm experiencing audio visual hallucinations." Or then when she's like. "I'm sure it's just a symptom of the post trauma." Like. The fuck are you talking about. That is not how a doctor fucking talks

Then she's at a birthday party for her nephew and he opens the gift she brought (a toy train) and her dead cat is in there and

1. The cat is CGI??? Fjsjdjnf you couldn't. You couldnt make a practical dead cat

2. She immediately starts panicking and sobbing and spinning in a circle yelling she's not crazy and "you all see her!" Before she falls through a glass table I'm GIRL

3. she's rambling to her husband now that she's afraid she's going to die and she's like "listen. I'm not CRAZY." like. What's your degree in

4. Her husband sucks, he acts really loving and perfect earlier but now he's like. She saw someone die two days ago and he's like shocked shes having some kind of trauma episode and she's crying and anxious and panicking and mildly delusional like. Why are you being so mean to her she's scared and upset. Why are you yelling at her that she's acting crazy

5. "It's genetic isn't it?" "What?" "Mental illness." "What?" "You can inherit it from a parent. I looked it up." "Why would you look at up?!" "Because I wanted to know what I was potentially hitching my entire life to!!" GIRLIE???

(baby steps) the first time we went to the foster center we went alone and fortunately the paps didn't followed and since we're a known one of the workers comes to us and is like "oh hello! do you wish to look at the little ones?" and ofc they try to show us their best littles but then we see e that's in a highchair and one of the workers is trying to feed him and we be like "i want to see him".

and they just take us to a room and give us a brief explanation on the colonel and then the room we're in is like a small nursery and one of the workers comes in with e in their arms, e became attached to one of the workers, so when they sit him down he just looks at us kinda weary but curious and the worker is like "oh sorry, he's kinda shy. his names is elvis, say hi sweet cheeks" they call him sweet cheeks bc he has a sweet tooth and they discovered that when they gave e a spoonful kf honey and that was the first time he had smiled at the center

We're just like "we want to see the brand new one who looks scared out of his mind!" and we come in and we're standing back because we don't want to overwhelm him and he looks up at us, putting a finger in his mouth and we're just so soft and gentle. "Hi baby, hi. I know you must be pretty scared. Is it okay... Is it okay if I hang out with you for a little bit. I came here looking for a little and you seem like a pretty good fit." We say that because as we see him and how he's kinda shaking we're just like "That one! I need to get him out of here." and at the end of the visit, he latches on to us and doesn't want to let us go

And we're just like "Because you know me is there any way I can take him home any faster?" and they're like "are you sure you don't want to look at any other littles" "NO! He's my baby now." and we give E a kiss on the cheek "You're safe with me bubba I promise." And he's studying our face looking for honesty