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blackmoonoracle · 5 hours

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PICK A CARD - WHAT'S BEING HIDDEN FROM YOU?

PILE ONE Channeled song: Paint the Town Red - Doja Cat

Some of you may be pregnant without knowing, of course this doesn't apply to everyone but that's certainly a thing for someone. For some of you it could be a dream you've been working on cultivating since childhood beginning to take root into reality. Being able to take some kind of forward movement that allows you freedom. Some of you may be developing a deeper relationship with a sibling or child family member as well. Maybe a family member could be pregnant as well. There's definitely a vibe of fertility and joy here. Something being built from the ground up as well. For some of you it could be a business you're trying to develop. Or even a dream career, or getting into a school or some kind of huge positive development in your life. You might not see it yet, but the tables are absolutely going to be turning in your favor. You may be exploring more, and find opportunity to express your emotions. I see this group may be learning to develop better boundaries. There could be people trying to create blockages in your forward movement. I see however that you are learning to depend more on your own thoughts, feelings, and overall discernment. Independence is absolutely being developed here, for some of you it could be that you are maturing into a new phase of your life and self expression that you're not seeing as well. I feel like there's a need here to really acknowledge the amount of growth you've achieved. Yeah, there's some major positive shifts happening here. If you've maybe been feeling stagnant or stuck, especially due to family having control over your finances or actions I see a lot of freedom coming here. You've developed some kind of discipline, or possibly self reliance that you previously may have felt was unattainable.

I think that's about it for you guys pile one! sorry it's short.

PILE TWO

Channeled Song: IDGAF - Drake ft Yeat

I feel like there are a lot of people who may not particularly have good intentions towards you pile 2. There could even be an air and water sign woman working together to create some kind of binding on your financial stability. What's crazy though is that I see it's not even able to manifest into the physical realm. The worst that they're able to do is exacerbate your limiting beliefs regarding financial stability. LOLLL, weaaaaak.

You may end up speaking your truth regarding some kind of situation soon as well. I see that there may also be a reveal of whoever these people are that have been trying to meddle in your finances. You may be in hermit mode currently, or seeking to isolate from people for the most part. There seems to be a lot of speculation around what you're up to and what you're doing pile 2. People could even be arguing over you. You may be leaving behind some sort of belief system that was at some point a core piece of your ideology. Some kind of realization is going to come that will bring a significant amount of balance into your life. I'm also hearing your body though, which is interesting. So there's some major balance coming into play here for you. It's sooo weird, because it feels like there are a lot of people who have it out for you. I see here that there is an emperor type energy that is very lost. This person may be trying to manifest you into their lives against your will? I just feel like a lot of this pile is likely confirmations, as it's clear to me you all are tapped the fuck in. Seeing as the high priestess has come out. I feel that you may not be aware that there is either a father figure, or older man who is doing spellwork or manifestation work on you. I feel that it's important for you to set energetic boundaries with people. First person shooter just came on, and it was the part where he said "dont trust everything that you saw on IG" so this person could be stalking you on instagram? I feel like they're driving themselves mad trying to figure out what the hell is going on in your life. For some of you they may not be older, but they may be very controlling or authoritative in some way. Someone with an ego that is larger than life. I heard "where in the world is carmen san diego" so what may be hidden from you is that there are a lot of people with their eyes on you pile 2. People may sense that you are about to do something big? I see here that you will be in a comfortable position. You are about to put an end to something, this feels like setting boundaries and speaking your piece. I also see that you are overcoming some sort of lack mindset that you struggle with. You are absolutely developing into a new person right now. I see here that what you don't know is that your shadow is a huge piece of how you receive and download psychic information. There's something about being deeply impressionable, but learning discernment and therefore being able to use this receptivity to glean hidden information. I'm also feeling something about mind reading here? This pile could be developing the gift of telepathy. I'm feeling very much Taurus rising energy here, off the strength of the fact that this is absolutely giving scorpio in the 7th house energy. With this capability to just read into the depths of the people around you. Seeing deep into the minds of others. What's being hidden from you is that more often than not you are in fact reading people to filth. I think that it may upset people when you are right for some reason. It's like there's this competitive energy towards you. I heard "keep up" like people are trying to keep up with you, or they're trying to outdo you so that you feel like you have to keep up with them. Regardless, I do see that through processing, acknowledging and accepting the hidden aspects of your personality you will find deep fulfillment and even financial gain! How interesting.

PILE THREE

Channeled Song: Highs & Lows - Chance the Rapper

Some sort of information is being hidden from you pile 3, but it's not because of anything outside of you. It's because you overthink shit like baaaaad. I heard "8" so the number 8 could be significant here somehow. You're being asked to maybe step back, your ego could be blocking your ability to think clearly. There's an emphasis on teamwork here, I feel that this pile has a verrrryy hard time taking criticism. What's being hidden from you is that your ego exceeds your knowledge, and that you may need to find a better balance within yourself. I heard something also about meddling, some of you may struggle with envy or jealousy.

To be honest pile 3, I feel like you really need to learn to allow things to flow. There's some sort of link to familial trauma, or control issues rooting from the family that have resulted in this outlook on life. Perhaps you could be rather inflexible in your ideology. Very set in your ways. I see that what you don't see is that a tower moment is coming in order to shift your perspective. I kind of see it as like- for example in football being tackled. I see you taking it on the chin and getting back up and continuing to go on. Don't be so stubborn, and learn to release bitterness. You may be grieving a perceived loss regarding some sort of project you're very passionate about. Or even possibly just feeling exhausted regarding this project. I feel that you guys are in a deep, and brooding, and veryyyyy aggressive energy in order to protect yourself. I'm seeing like crows in a parking lot circling scraps of food.

You could have had to fight for everything in life- and now spirit is asking you to sit back and allow shit to unfold. What's being hidden is that by creating a better work life balance, and taking better care of yourself that you will be able to get over this bump in the road concerning your financial stability. Transmuting your fear and greed into security and generosity will deeply help you in moving onward. I see here that you could be feeling stuck on a standstill. Learn to relax a little, things don't have to constantly be so serious. You have a lot of blessings coming in, so just sit tight and let it come in. <3 You're gonna be just fine. Better than fine honestly! It's going to be okay, I promise. :3 One more thing actually, there's a line in the channeled song that goes "The best things in life on the opposite side of fear".

#tarot online #tarot community #pac #pac tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile

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suempu · 1 day

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hiiii could you write some nsfw headcanons for chilchuck with a reader who’s insecure about their body?

gn + implied human! reader + kinda dominant chilly chuckles

oh my, that man is not good with emotions. one of his flaws is that he’s kind of bad at dealing with them since they leave him in a vulnerable state. it was no secret that he’s emotionally constipated, his past wife left him because of that.

but ever since you came along, chilchuck has been slowly improving, not wanting a repeat of what happened. he’s acknowledged that by loving someone, he needs to be able to be open with his feelings and become mindful of yours.

once you work up the courage to tell him, he visibly stiffens up. chilchuck is silent for a few seconds, he really wasn’t expecting this while he was kissing you up.

he spends a few moments awkwardly fiddling with the buttons of his half done shirt as he thinks of the right words to say.

“…. i… don’t really care about what you look like.”

okay. he could’ve worded that better.

“i-i mean! i enjoy being with you… for who you are.”

chilchuck’s biting his lip, looking at you hesitantly as he reaches a hand out to you. he’s looking anxious before you wrap your arms around his shoulders.

he yelps as he’s tucked into your chest, letting out a sigh of relief that you don’t seem upset. you pull away and look down at him with a smile.

“you suck at this.”

“i know.” he sends you a grin.

placing one hand around you, he pushes you gently to sit on the bed. he stands in front of you and holds your face, nuzzling into your nose which brings a laugh out of you.

“i know i’m bad at… this kind of stuff but i meant what i said.” he looks at you seriously, big ears twitching as hair strands falls to his face, rough and messy after your heated lip-lock earlier.

“i’m nothing but an old, brooding man. i love the way you make me feel and i want… you to l-love how i make you feel…. regardless of what you look like.”

he can see how you’re biting back a snicker as he tries to get his act together. chilchuck can feel his face getting hotter as he hears your bubbling laughter. but he’s glad you’re less nervous as before.

“y-you think this is real funny, do ya?” he yells out.

he’s kinda grumpy after all that, feeling a bit embarrassed that you laughed at him. after a few kisses smothered on to his face, he slowly gets back into the mood, making sure to pay extra attention to your reactions.

if you ever cover yourself up, he will give you a peck while slowly taking your hands off and whispering reassuring phrases.

he will kiss down your body as he keeps his eyes on you, forcing you to watch him. when he finds out which part makes you insecure the most, chilchuck will leave open mouthed kisses and suck a hickey on it.

with his enhanced hearing and senses, your quiet whimpers and gasps gets him going as he touches and feels you thoroughly with his fingers.

since this is your first time being intimate together as a couple, he makes sure to treat you softly and gently. he’s attentive to the spots that make you moan out the most, notices how you grip the sheets harder when he licks and sucks on a certain area. all of them noted in his head so he can figure out what else you’ll like.

chilchuck groans breathily, he’s kind of ashamed to lose control of himself, thinking it’d only embarrass himself.

“am i not making you feel good..?”

“where did this come from?”

“you don’t… make as much noises as i do. i’m wondering if i’m not doing enough.”

once he hears your reason, he immediately rushes to assure you. though still a bit hesitant, he’ll try to let go more the next time you’ll get intimate.

can i just say he’s skilled at giving oral. his hands and fingers can take you to god and back once he finally finds out what specific things you like. he loves being all in there, loves your smell, your sounds, your fluids.

he doesn’t say it out loud though. which makes you wonder why he keeps asking if you could fuck his face whenever you two do it.

“is this some sort of kink of yours?”

“just say yes or no!”

after one round, he can get pretty spent. but if you’re still needy, he can muster some energy to make love to you slowly.

oh, and he lives for lazy morning sex. sometimes you’ll wake up to him kissing down your shoulder and arm, whispering small ‘wake up’s to your buzzing ears.

aftercare with him is… well, lazy too. he’ll drop to your side, breathless as he stares up at the ceiling. after a few moments he’ll sit up and look down at you on the bed, whispering sweet praises as he holds your face.

he’ll smoke for a bit, facing away from you. he doesn’t want you to cough from the smoke after all.

drags you to the bathroom after a few moments. he hates being sweaty and you’ll have to kill him before you force him to snuggle right after sex.

chilchuck just doesn’t like feeling gross, he’d want to be clean as soon as possible. he will fuss over you during bathing. divorced father of three but with the way he’s acting makes him look like a mother.

he will scrub you down to the bone but will be less aggressive if you tell him it makes you uncomfortable.

“put your clothes in the basket, dry your hair, make sure you brush your teeth properly.”

“i always do! follow your own advice, you alcoholic.”

“i will drown you in this tub.”

what a nice and loving man, am i right

after bath time, he’ll lay on his side with nothing on but some underwear. his arm is around your torso as you fall asleep while he watches you with a soft smile, fingers tracing soft shapes on to your skin.

8/10 for being emotionally constipated but an A+ for trying. (i’m kidding he’s great)

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #chilchuck tims #chilchuck x reader #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon x reader #dunmeshi x reader #dungeon meshi x reader #chilchuck tims x reader

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iratempestatis · 2 days

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Pretty.

Kaeya x gn!reader

Just a bunch of fluff, reader is bad at showing their emotions and Kaeya's just shooting his shot lmao. Apologies for being too specific at times, I wrote this with someone in mind <3

Throwing food at pedestrians was generally frowned upon, whether you were a normal citizen or the esteemed captain of the Knights of Favonius. You're fairly certain your captain is aware of this, and yet-

You whip your head around and glare at Kaeya as another sunsettia makes an elegant arc and bounces off your shoulder, onto the ground. What was wrong with this man? Why was he wasting food like this?

Your captain had very thin hair already, curving over his shoulder like a rat’s tail. He didn't need to give you incentive to rip it all off. You're sure it would fall off on it's own by the time he was forty. You’re certain he'd still look as lovely as he did now.

But enough of that! He wasted food!

“Captain!”

“So sorry.” He grins and bites into a sunsettia. The bright morning sky brings out the cool blue tones in his eyes. He's pretty. “Please don't scold me, now.”

You only curse and turned away. It was impossible to remain angry with Kaeya Alberich for too long.

✦—————————————✦

You used to think you were quite clever.

But honestly, only a fool would graduate from the Akademiya with honours and end up working as a cavalry knight in a city full of drunkards (imagine being in love with one, the horror! It could never be you), far away from home, devoid of any fresh spices save for some fucking snapdragon. And the cost of shipping actual spices? Veritable insanity! 450 Mora for just shipping the stuff you could buy for 120 back home?

And only an even bigger fool wouldn't check if the cavalry had any horses before signing up. Because it's stupid to expect the cavalry to own a horse or two, yes?

It never seemed to bother anyone but you. These madlads managed life without sumpter beasts and Tri-Lakshana Sigils.

Mondstadt City didn't even have any slopes, just stairs! What if someone used a wheelchair? What if someone was too goddamn lazy to climb up all those stairs??

You'd bitched about the infrastructure nonstop at first. Kaeya had only laughed. He had a pretty laugh. Everything he did was pretty. He was pretty.

You could feel your friends rolling their eyes at you.

You were often tempted to take their advice and confess your feelings to him. How embarrassing, to not leave a city purely because he occupied it? To smile because he smiled and grin because he looked content? You didn't even like skewers until he threw some at you. They tasted as zesty as he looked.

But confessing to your boss? Unprofessional. You weren't a coward, you were just married to your job! (A rather toxic relationship. You barely spent any time together.) Besides, imagine getting rejected. It could never be you. That would be almost as terrible as crying in front of everyone as an Akademiya professor tore your essay to shreds. In your first year. (Maybe Alhaitham was right and you really did need therapy.)

Speaking of your job, however-

“Captain, I'm going to Springvale. Old Finch-”

“Surely you don't mean to walk there.” His eyes widen in mock horror. “We don't even have any Tri-Lakshana Sigils!”

You roll your eyes. “Old Finch told me-”

“Finch? Who would name their only child Finch of all things? At least there are slopes in Springvale-”

You groan.

✦—————————————✦

Of course you didn't fucking walk to Springvale like a plebian. You begged Nantuck to row you there. Kaeya tagged along as well, but you didn't question why. You were one flirtatious answer from giving your crush away. Or one pretty, pretty smile. Or even just one Kaeya elegantly stepping out of the boat and holding out a hand to you.

“I'm good,” you mutter as you step off on your own. Kaeya chuckles.

“My, someone's in an especially terrible mood today. Did someone anger you? When are you telling me what you're here for on your day off, anyway?”

The audacity of this bitc-

“I tried,“ You scoff. “Someone kept interrupting me-”

“How uncouth of them.”

“You piece of-” you hurriedly bite back the insult. “I'm here because Old F- someone told me there's a group of whopperflowers on the cliffs behind the spring. I'll deal with them and meet up with you… where?”

“So eager to meet up with me, even on our days off,” he muses as you rolled your eyes. (Wasn't he the one who started harassing you? No matter. Any time spent with Kaeya was time well spent, in your opinion.) “Very well, then. I'll be at Brooke’s. It's a date.”

Your face flushes. What the fuck? “Don't wander off.” You sigh, hoping you don't look like you're on fire. I need to get out of here.

“That's all you'll say to me? Hey, at least say goodbye as you run off!”

✦—————————————✦

Goodbye, you think as you plummet off a cliff and to your death (you hope.) The whopperflowers had been endless and honestly you'd rather fight a Regisvine than a dozen of these overgrown mist flowers together on a goddamn cliff. You could see the light (probably the sun.) You could feel Alhaitham chuck your clown wig and clown nose at you (in spirit, of course, although him actually doing that wouldn't really surprise you.)

You could also feel your body jolt as the cold waters of the spring abruptly shock your system. You're not conscious enough to feel yourself sink, though.

✦—————————————✦

Were you to die, you wanted death to cradle you close, carry you off and gently lay you to rest on the sands or the grass, whichever you were in the mood for that day. And you didn't want it to be fucking bony and jostle you as it carried you, no matter how nice it smelled. You also didn't want it to be so goddamn damp, and the least it could do is magically stop your head from hurting, maybe hand you a towel and some warm soup-

“There you go,” you hear Kaeya softly murmur as he sets you down on some grass. You can hear Finch and Hopkins frantically calling for help. Warm hands securely wrap a blanket around you and start gently drying your hair.

I won't be able to go on that date, you think deliriously. The ensuing embarrassment is enough to make your eyes snap open.

You're on the grassy banks of the spring, wet and rather cold. Brooke is rubbing your arms through the blanket and- you crane your neck to see Kaeya gently drying your hair. He smiles when he sees you turn. He smiles very often. You wonder if this is one of those rare times when it's genuine.

“You never fail to surprise me,” he says fondly as he lets go of the towel and ruffles your hair. “Forever reaching for new heights of stupidity. What idiot runs off to kill a dozen cryo whopperflowers with a cryo vision?”

This bitch.

“I didn't know they were cryo,” you rasp. “Asshole.”

“Is this how you speak to your superiors?”

“You're not exactly supposed to ask your underlings on dates either.” Shit.

He grins at that (you should never have acknowledged the date, now he'd make you commit) and heaves an exaggerated sigh as he begins combing through your hair with his fingers. His nails gently scratch against your scalp. “Very well, dearest. No dates.”

Your dismay apparently shows on your face, because his grin only widens with delight. “Alright, one date, because you're pretty. And not today.”

Your face flushes. “It's not like I want one, anyway.” What do you mean, not today?

He shrugs. “Then you're welcome to walk away from rather delectable free meal. Brooke promised she'd give us only her best.”

As if you needed any additional motivation. “Fine, then. Only for the food.” When? The food sounded almost as good as Kaeya. “So. Er.” You cough. “When exactly are we…when are you taking me on that-?”

Kaeya laughs (asshole, you think affectionately) as you trail off with a flushed face. “Hey, since you're not so opposed to the idea,” he says “maybe you can stand me after all.”

Oh, Kaeya. Your face softens. “I've never disliked you, captain.” You have no need for insecurities. I know what you almost did to Collei. I know you have a complicated past.

I wish you'd tell me about it. Maybe one day you'd muster the courage to ask.

“Oh?” He tilts his head. A bead of water trickles off his hair, on his nose, then past his cheek. It catches on his jaw. You fight the urge to wipe it off. “So does this mean you like me, then?”

You blink rapidly, then turn away. “That's for you to find out.”

He smiles at you then, just a small smile. The sort of smile he gives stray cats when he thinks nobody is looking. The sort of smile he gives Klee when she shows him a drawing she made of them together. The sort of smile he gives Jean as he helps her home after a long day. Or the sort of smile he gives Lisa when she gently pats his shoulder and tells him to take care before she heads home.

“Like I said though, not today.” He boops your nose and stands up, holding out a hand to you. You take it this time. He doesn't let go even as you start to walk back towards Nantuck’s boat, and your heart joyously skips a few beats. You hope he can't feel your pulse through your intertwined fingers.

“You need to rest, and archons forbid you catch a cold. It's no fun without you around. I almost miss you, even. How about we reschedule that date for next Saturday, hm?”

#kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya x reader #gn reader #genshin x reader #kaeya alberich #Pretty.

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zukosdualdao · 2 days

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i've been seeing the take recently that what aang is actually encouraging katara to do is to forgive herself and that he’s not explicitly encouraging or expecting her to forgive yon rha.

the ironic thing is that i do think part of what katara needed from the experience of confronting yon rha was to let go of the guilt she held for her mother sacrificing herself for katara. i find this especially evident in the scene where she recounts the story to zuko and remarks that she's "not the helpless little girl" she was when they came, and how enraged she becomes when yon rha asks who kya was protecting. but though she ultimately chooses not to take revenge, katara facing yon rha and realizing what he did is about him and what kind of person he is and was never her fault is ultimately a good thing. it’s not an easy or fun experience, but i do think it was a very necessary one.

i might be somewhat less critical of aang in this episode if that actually was what he was saying (though if he went about it in the exact same way, i would still find it condescending and not a productive way of reaching out to her.)

but that’s just… literally not what he’s saying.

Zuko: Sokka told me the story of what happened. I know who did it and I know how to find him. Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish? Katara [Shakes her head in dismay.] Ugh, I knew you wouldn't understand. [Begins to walk away.] Aang: Wait! Stop! I do understand. You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people? Zuko: She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure and justice. Aang: I don't think so. I think it's about getting revenge. Katara [Angrily.] Fine, maybe it is! Maybe that's what I need! Maybe that's what he deserves! Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

i think this is the one interaction between aang and katara in which you could maybe argue that he wants her to forgive herself, as he brings up something he's expressed guilt about before, in the storm, (running away before the fire nation killed the air nomads), and she comforted him there and encouraged him not to feel guilty.

but the thing is, he doesn't say anything about how she shouldn't feel guilty. he tries to acknowledge what she's feeling, which is good, but if he was honestly trying to encourage her to forgive herself, i think he would remind her of how she comforted him when he expressed his own guilt. i'm not even totally sure how in tune he is with her guilt. it's not something he mentions when expressing he knows how she feels. (and this isn't me saying he's awful to not know that; it's not something he can necessarily know unless she's expressed it to him, which we haven't seen. but we have seen her try to connect with him over her mother’s death to empathize with him in the southern air temple, and he doesn’t really acknowledge it. so, i do think it shows he has an overly simplistic understanding of her emotions, and that he's not thinking about this in the framework of forgiving oneself.)

if the writers wanted to showcase him encouraging her to forgive herself, they could have had aang say something like, "i know how badly losing your mother must have hurt, but it wasn't your fault, and i'm worried that confronting the man who killed her won't help you."

instead, he immediately makes an argument about moral corruption - he thinks it is about revenge and expresses she sounds like jet because of it. that... is not encouraging her to forgive herself. it's a judgment based on morality. you can argue about whether aang's right or not (i, personally, find his stance reductive in context, but to each their own), but he is absolutely being judgmental here.

this is when the concept of forgiveness comes up:

Katara: Now that I know he's out there ... now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice. Aang: Katara, you do have a choice: forgiveness. Zuko: That's the same as doing nothing! Aang: No, it's not. It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive. Katara: It's not just hard, it's impossible. [Cuts to overhead shot of the field as she walks away, Zuko following behind.]

in it, aang encourages forgiveness directly after katara expresses she feels she has no choice but to confront her mother’s killer. even if aang does mean forgiveness for herself, katara does not hear it that way, as is made evident by the fact she insists forgiveness would be impossible here, and if he does mean forgiveness for herself, i don't know why he wouldn't try to correct that misunderstanding.

Aang: So you were just gonna take Appa anyway? Katara: Yes. Aang: It's okay, because I forgive you. [Pauses.] That give you any ideas?

this might actually be my least favorite part of the episode. while it is generally not nice to take a friend's sky bison without permission, it is so genuinely condescending and a false equivalence to even try to compare that to the murder of her mother, particularly because of how smug aang is about his example of forgiving her for it.

also, aang is trying to "give [her] ideas" about what she should do, and it's clear he doesn't blame himself for katara taking appa. he is not forgiving himself here and telling her that’s what she should do. his point is that he's forgiving her and thinks she should do the same. (for the man. who murdered. her mother. and, while we're at it, would have murdered katara herself if he knew the truth. it is just... not the same situation at all.)

Katara: Don't try to stop us. Aang: I wasn't planning to. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. [Katara situates herself on Appa's head.] But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.

aaaand there we have it.

aang 100% wants and tells katara to forgive her mother's killer. even if you think he also wants her to find healing (which i actually agree he does want for her, but i don't think he expresses it well/in a way that is likely to reach her, and the show acts like he is wise for this regardless) and forgive herself (if he does realize katara needs this, it's not something he expresses), he also very much does absolutely tell katara to forgive her mother's murderer, and that she won't find healing without doing so.

you can agree or disagree with his stance, but that is absolutely the argument he is making, and it’s weird to try to act like it’s not.

and, as i said before, i personally find it reductive. there are things in this world that we should be angry at. there are things people find impossible to forgive. those things may be different for everyone, but they do exist, and that's completely morally neutral. i find the idea that katara has to forgive the man who killed her mother in an act of imperalist violence in order to find healing and inner peace disturbing. no, actually, she doesn't!

this ideology is also very commonly weaponized against abuse survivors in particular, which is a big part of why it is significant that zuko goes with katara on this journey and defends her right not to forgive yon rha, even as he later also respects her decision not to kill him, which shatters the whole false dichotomy of forgiveness vs revenge being presented by aang’s role in the episode.

we don't actually see the talk in which zuko tells aang about what happened, but based on his perspective the whole episode, i very much doubt he framed it as "katara decided to forgive yon rha."

Aang: Zuko told me what you did. Or what you didn't do, I guess. I'm proud of you. Katara: I wanted to do it. I wanted to take out all my anger at him, but I couldn't. I don't know if it's because I'm too weak to do it or because I'm strong enough not to. Aang: You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing. Katara [Rises from boardwalk.]: But I didn't forgive him. I'll never forgive him.

aang hears about what happened and assumes that because katara didn't kill yon rha, she forgave him, and katara corrects him. she (quite angrily) tells aang that she didn’t forgive yon rha, and she never will. katara knows exactly what aang was telling her to do, and even at the end of the episode, it’s clear she resents it and resents aang being “proud of her” for his assumption.

#antikataang #aang critical #discourse #ask to tag //#long post //#atla #atla critical #i have complicated feelings about the ep because there is a very large disconnect between what it actually says vs how it’s framed #katara #aang #the southern raiders

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crush-like-that · 1 day

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it’s me again😁

I feel like we were robbed of Nico and Jason content (NOT A SHIP) after Jason died, so any angsty Headcanons of Nico after Jason died?

Nico didn't make friends. He didn't get close to people. For all his life, Nico had Bianca. Then she died. And Nico was alone. Alone. Ironic as it is, the word seems like the sincerest company Nico had ever had.

Then, Nico met Hazel. That was... that was different. He had to protect her, he didn't have a choice. He lost his sister because he let her go. In what world could he let this opportunity slip away? Besides, something greater was at play and Hazel was needed. Nico didn't make friends.

Then there was Reyna. They had to go on a quest together. They had something to accomplish for a greater good. One could hardly call that friendship. They understood each other, in some odd way. Neither of them were looking for friendship, and they could be comfortable with that. The silence that followed them was appreciated, necessary. Nico didn't make friends.

And then, of course, Nico met Jason. Jason, Jason, what word could describe Jason. He was kind, Nico knew that immediately. He liked to hugs his friends when he got excited. He lost his glasses when they were sitting on his head. He loved his sister more than anything in the world. And... he accepted Nico. For everything that he was, the baggage that he carried, the burden that he became, Jason accepted it. Jason welcomed it. He stood there with open arms and he didn't force Nico, but how in the world could Nico turn away from that smile. So Nico started to make friends.

And, gods, you can't ever just make one. With Jason came Piper and Leo, Hazel and Frank, Thalia and Reyna, Percy and Annabeth, and -- now this one was the strangest of all -- Will Solace. Nico had friends. The word scared him, for the first time in a long time, Nico wasn't alone. He was never alone. Percy and Jason refused to sit alone at meal times, so they created the table of the big three. People needed help in the infirmary, so Nico found himself there, warding off death and encouraging the medics to the best of his ability. People wanted to talk, hang out, destress after all the fighting and... they wanted Nico there. When Nico needed to hide from the world, hide from his new friends, he would go to Jason. When Nico needed to complain about that insufferable, stubborn Solace with a mouth worse than a sailor, he would go to Jason. When Nico needed a hug, he would go to Jason. Nico wasn't familiar with the word, but Jason was his best friend. His first friend. Then Jason had to leave to look for Leo. Nico couldn't feel jealous, it was selfish for him to do so. Leo was Jason's best friend. Now, with the confirmation of his life, it only made sense for Jason to want to go. Nico couldn't be jealous, he knew that.

And then Jason was gone. Truly gone. Nico could feel that much. He didn't leave cabin for a full day. Will would be wondering where he was, he knew that, but he couldn't bring himself to get out of bed. Jason was gone. Who could he tell? Percy, Annabeth- they were off at school, trying to keep their lives normal. Reyna, Frank, and Hazel had returned to Camp Jupiter. He couldn't tell them, not without solid proof. It hurt to think about their reactions to their information. And Will... Will understood loss, he'd seen it in his own hands too many times. But Jason was Nico's best friend. His first friend. And Jason was gone. Nico hates death. Ironic, a child of hades hating the very thing that defines him. Nico lost Bianca. He found Jason. And Jason brought Nico back to life. No matter how badly Nico wanted to do the same in return, he couldn't. Jason wouldn't allow it. The confirmation of his death was worse than Nico had imagined. He couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't feel. He had thought that he was finished with these emotions after he had come to terms with Bianca's death. But they were there again. Jason was gone. Nico couldn't save him. Nico couldn't bring him back. He wasn't sure how to live.

#shit i cried writing this i HATE angst (jk i live for it)#nico di angelo #jason grace #riordanverse #pjo #technically this ask was for headcanons but i kinda felt like qriting and being dramatic #nico di angelo fanfic

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syrupfog · 2 days

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I have a lot of trouble reading amnesia fics, and I’ve decided to dissect that.

I think I just really struggle with reading the rest of the characters in constant emotional pain. I put myself in the shoes of the amnesiac and *i* feel guilty about not being able to remember them

So like. What would it take for me to write an amnesia fic? It would have to be one where no one is hurt by the amnesia. Maybe even one where amnesia is a good thing.

I think it would start from the (3rd person) pov of the person waking up with amnesia.

And it would be written so we as the readers aren’t suffering from the knowledge that the character’s family/friends are missing them/looking for them/sad at being forgotten.

So like. A lulaw fic maybe.

Law wakes up in the middle of nowhere. All he knows is his name and that there’s rage inside of him.

I think we’d meet members of the heart pirates early on, as a promise to the reader that his crew aren’t in pain missing him. They haven’t met, haven’t formed a crew.

Actually I’d like it if the heart pirates (as we know them) are scattered between other pirate crews and Law eventually picks them out and adds them to his own.

But that would be way later down the line.

I think it starts with him waking up in a little dinghy that’s washed ashore on an empty beach. No one around, totally lost, he tries to scavenge but all his inherent knowledge is how to fend for himself in city environments

So when a ship appears, he begs for a ride to… somewhere.

He’s welcomed warmly, excitedly, by the captain with the scar under his eye. The others aren’t as trusting, and the archaeologist looks like she wants to say something, but stops herself.

They bring him aboard and he awkwardly tries to integrate while unsure how much to trust them. He feels anger inside, still, and nothing to do With it.

I think eventually Robin tells him that she knows some of his story. Recognizes his tattoos.

He has his normal forearm and hand tats, but no hearts.

She tells of a man who matches his appearance who is wanted for burning a country to the ground.

He was second in command of a powerful pirate named Doflamingo, she says. No one knew what transpired between them exactly, but there had been an argument, a fight between them, one that destroyed miles of land around them. Scorched earth. No one had seen either since.

Law doesn’t gain his memories there but he wonders if that’s true. He wonders if he’s a monster.

What he knows about himself is he’s surly and can’t show emotions on his sleeve like the captain of his ship. He knows he feels rage.

He knows he doesn’t have natural warmth the way these people all seem to. A carefree joy and happiness that he’s surrounded by.

He thinks he must be evil.

He wonders what he’s supposed to do about that. Turn himself in?

Luffy says no, that’s dumb. You’re a pirate now, and anyway you don’t remember any of that shit so it would be stupid to turn yourself in.

He makes it sound simple.

Law doesn’t think it is.

Oh I think Bepo is on the straw hat crew.

I think he’s drawn to Law. They make quite a pair, the timid apologizing bear and the quiet, angry man.

I think when they reach a larger island, Bepo asks permission to follow Law. He’s worried about him. Doesn’t want him to be alone.

I think that’s the start of the heart pirates.

Penguin and Shachi are on Kid’s crew, and I think Kid only lets them follow Law because Penguin and Killer are married so they’ll always have SOME loyalty to him.

But they find him much later, after Law’s picked up a small ship with Bepo. They have a run in with the Kid pirates because Kid had MET Doffy and Law at some point previously and he tries to fight Law.

This is the first time Law learns he has a devil fruit.

Because he’s running from Kid (“I don’t fucking know you stop acting like I do!”) and Kid is confused why he’s not at the very least using room to get away.

When he stops trying to beat Law’s ass (mostly because Bepo protects him), Kid very angrily explains.

About the op op fruit and about how Law had been the one to sever his arm.

Law maybe has a panic about that. More proof he’s evil.

Kid says with Law’s fruit he didn’t have to worry about bleeding out at least. He just. Didn’t have an arm anymore.

Was that a kindness? Who knows?

(Eventually Law knows. He knows he was trying to help, knows there was something in him that told him enemies of Doffy were his allies).

Anyway he gets Penguin and Shachi there.

He still gets Jean Bart at Sabaody, the next time he sees Luffy.

He still keeps running into Luffy, the personification of warmth and the one who first saved him. There’s gratitude there. There’s love, later.

His memories come back to him in nightmares. Flevance. Doflamingo.

He doesn’t remember Cora.

He doesnt remember Cora but he does remember Doflamingo arranging a marriage. Charlotte Pudding (okay she’s like 10 years older in this timelines are hard). He didn’t tolerate her, but he could never disobey Doffy.

She DID escape the fire. He finds her over a year later. He gets back the memories she took, at Doffy’s command.

He remembers Cora.

The heart pirates get their name.

He gets his heart tattoos.

He knows where the anger in him came from. Even when she took his memories she couldn’t take the love and anger buried in him.

The next time he sees Luffy he’s a full fledged pirate captain with a crew who’s been there as he’s discovered himself.

He’s grateful to Luffy but Luffy doesn’t care about that.

He cares about the first time he sees Law smile with real joy on his face.

And then I dunno they kiss or something.

#lawlu #lulaw #my writing

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deception-united · 9 hours

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Hello! Hope this ask finds you well 😄

Do you have a guide on how to incorporate dialogue into a story? I'm quite confused in this aspect, like, do I end every dialogue in a comma? (excluding questions and exclamations)

Also just writing things like, "he said, she cried, they snickered, John retorted, Jane whined" becomes tiring after a little while.

I've seen some authors just write dialogue without specifying who said it and the reader relies on context clues to decipher it.

All the rules on writing dialogue is perplexing and any guidance you have on this is much appreciated 🙏

Thank you!

Hi, thanks for asking and so sorry for the late reply! Seamlessly incorporating dialogue into your story is an essential aspect of storytelling that can really bring your characters to life.

Let's start with punctuation. Generally, you would use a comma to separate the dialogue tag from the spoken words; however, this isn't a strict rule. You can also use periods or other punctuation marks depending on the structure of your sentence. For example:

"Hello," he said. "Hello." He smiled. "But," he insisted, "I never actually saw her." "But—" He paused. "Never mind."

Regarding your concern about repetitive dialogue tags, you're absolutely right. Using "he said," "she cried," etc., repeatedly can become tiresome. It's good to mix it up and use a variety of dialogue tags, or even omit them altogether when it's clear who is speaking.

Using context clues to identify the speaker is a great technique. It adds a layer of engagement for the reader and can make the dialogue feel more natural. Here's an example:

"I can't believe you did that." The anger in her voice was palpable.

In this case, we don't need a dialogue tag because the context clues ("the anger in her voice") indicate who is speaking.

Here are a few more tips to help you navigate writing dialogue:

Use action beats: Instead of using dialogue tags, you can describe the actions of the characters to indicate who is speaking. For example:

John slammed his fist on the table. "I won't stand for this!"

Sarah wiped away a tear. "Please don't leave me."

Vary your dialogue tags: Instead of always using "said," try using different verbs that convey how the character is speaking, such as whispered, shouted, muttered, etc.

Omit dialogue tags when possible: If it's clear who is speaking based on the context—for instance, when two characters are talking back and forth—you can omit dialogue tags altogether.

Show, don't tell: Use dialogue to reveal character traits, emotions, and relationships between characters.

Read dialogue aloud: This can help you identify any awkward phrasing or unnatural-sounding dialogue.

Remember: writing dialogue, like any skill, will undoubtedly improve with practice and research. Don't be afraid to experiment and find what works best for your story. Happy writing!

#ask #writeblr #writing #writing tips #writing advice #writing help #writing resources #creative writing #writing techniques #writing dialogue #dialogue #character dialogue #writing characters #character writing

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cemeterysunsett · 2 days

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Cullen Family Helping You Through a Depressive Episode [headcanons]

🧣Carlisle

- The most logical one to be honest

- Being a doctor, he knows how important it is to keep you healthy

- He keeps you fed/watered/nourished, makes you whatever food you want and brings it to you in bed

- Carlisle always makes sure that you have a cool glass of water on your bedside table

- He also helps you stay clean; he will offer to hop in the tub or shower and bathe with you, or if you asked him to he would just wait in the bedroom getting some pajamas for you

- He’ll brush your hair for you, but he’s not a very good stylist so dont expect anything more than a simple braid (and even that would look a little wonky lol)

- Offers to lay with you, if you accept he will hold you so gently and lovingly

- Continuously praising you and telling you how strong you are and how good you have been doing

- Sometimes he will read to you while you cuddle, any book you want

- He's always there for you, he never hesitates to help you whenever you need

- Sometimes he knows when you start spiraling before you do

- He knows just the right things to do and say to help you calm down

- He’s surprisingly scared that you’re going to do something stupid if things get too bad. He hides his fear well, he doesn't want you to worry about him on top of everything else

- Always tries his best to help you and stay by your side for as long as you need

🐴Jasper

- He can feel that you’re feeling down, without you even telling him

- Never try to hide it from him, cause thats never going to work. He always knows what you’re feeling, and he is always on red alert whenever he feels literally any negative emotion from you

- Jasper is a quiet person, so he isn’t very forward or aggressive about his approach, his is more subtle but still very much effective

- He doesn’t really say a lot, it’s his actions that speak volumes.

- His love language is quality time and touch, so he is always by your side

- He is definitely the type to ask if he can touch you when you start to spiral. If you’re panicking, he asks to give you a hug; if you dont feel comfortable with that, he’ll just hold your hands

- Jasper has never been more grateful for his powers than those times when you feel so down and self hating

- It hurts him so much to feel all that pain and suffering you feel for yourself, and/or in general

- He enjoys quietly cuddling together, which always seems to improve your mood

- If things are really bad, he will hum some old country songs from his childhood, but thats very rare

- The biggest thing he does is to use his powers to help you, but he doesn’t do it to much because he doesn’t want to control your emotions, he just wants to help you know what i mean?

⚾Emmett

- My favorite himbo <3

- His biggest thing is to distract you and get your mind off of whatever is hurting you

- He will be the one to offer cuddles before you even ask, he hugs you so tight and starts talking about everything and nothing

- Emmett would be the first to help get you out of bed

- He would make a huge effort to keep you fed, he just wants to keep you healthy

- If you’re feeling up for it, he likes to take you on hikes in the woods. It’s a simple thing but it helps you focus on something else

- If you don’t want to get out of bed, he is perfectly fine just cuddling and watching something on tv

- He will whisper sweet things into your ear

- Telling you how much he loves you

- He focuses a little less on the actual situation and more on hyping you up in general

- Like he will compliment your personality and appearance. He will go over everything he loves about you and every single part of your body and tells you why he loves all of it

- He loves to cover you in kisses and doesn’t stop showering you in praises until he knows for a fact that you’re feeling better

🎹Edward

- Would either be the sweetest, most comforting man ever or a distant, super cold one

- There’s no in between, sorry about it :/

- Sometimes he would be almost suffocating with how worried and close he would be

- He wouldn’t leave your side for a second, always doing anything you need

- But sometimes it would start to make him start to spiral

- Like he would start to worry that he’s not good enough to take care of you and you dont deserve him

- After he sees how stupid that thought is, he sees how much you need him in this hard time so he steps up to the plate and starts doing much better

- He doesn’t know how to cook, but he’ll buy you any food you want

- He will gladly cuddle and praise you whenever you need

- Sometimes he will even play you some piano, to help you drift off to sleep

- He would surprise you with a song he wrote for you

- Even if he doesn’t want to force you to do anything he would persuade you to get out of bed

- Both of you sit at the piano and she will teach you a thing or two

- But usually he likes to take you on walks in the woods, his favorite thing to do is just lay in the field with you and feel the cool breeze and your warm hand in his

- It brings him peace. Being there with you and knowing that he’s helping you feel better

👑Rosalie

- She is similar to Jasper with the more subtle approach

- Rosalie understands what it’s like to have those really bad days because she’s had them

- She will help you stay clean and eat something

- Rosalie would take baths with you and brush your hair, doing it up in a beautiful style

- Usually people see her as the cold, stubborn type of girl, but she’s much more than that

- She knows what it’s like to feel that broken

- That’s why she offers her help in any way she can, anything you want, it’s yours

- It’s the little things for her

- Like she’ll make you a simple sandwich or just be cuddling with you

- A bunch of those little things just keep adding up and she doesn’t stop there

- She would bring you gifts to try to raise your spirits

- She’s a little awkward in her approach to showing you this much affection, thats why she does a bunch of little things rather than huge declarations of her love

- It’s more of an unspoken understanding about how much she loves you. But when times like these hit, she realizes that you need her reassurance and love more than ever

- She puts in a huge amount of effort into those small gifts and actions, just to make sure you know she loves you and will always be there when you need

🌖Alice

- I know that all of the Cullens know what it’s like to feel broken and hurt, its just that some know the feeling more than others

- Alice definitely knows that feeling

- Sometimes she sees that you’re going to have an episode before it even starts

- So she starts gathering all the supplies: your favorite snacks, blankets and anything else you need

- She is super worried for you but she hides it with her positivity

- She will give you makeovers and take care of you, without you even asking

- The makeovers are her favorite because not only is it a way to get your mind focused on other things but it’s an easy way to help keep up your hygiene with the showering and the self care she helps you with

- Sometimes, if things are looking really bad she will get really worried that something bad was going to happen

- Then she sees a vision of everything being okay in the future

- She very much enjoys wrapping you in tight hugs and whispering nice things to you

- Everything from “You’re so beautiful inside and out, i love you so much” to “everything is going to be okay, we’re going to get through this together. I’ve seen it”

🥀Esme

- Dare i say: she would take a much more maternal and protective approach

- I dont want to say she forces you to eat and drink but she definitely makes you stay nourished

- She is more than willing to make you anything you want, she just wants to help in any way she can to make you feel better

- She will help you bathe and cuddle all day if you need

- Cuddling is her specialty, she makes it even better because she likes to sing quietly

- She likes to hum and sing you cute little songs until you drift back to sleep

- As much as she doesn’t want to force you to do anything, she does make you take regular walks and get outside every day

- The movement and fresh air are very important

- She will make a picnic basket and take it on a small hike, just the two of you

- Esme would gladly make your favorite food (or try to) and have a cute little picnic to take your mind off of things :)

#twilight #twilight renessaince #twilight fanfiction #twilight imagine #carlisle cullen #carlisle cullen x reader #jasper hale #jasper hale x reader #emmett cullen #emmett cullen x reader #edward cullen #edward cullen x reader #rosalie hale #rosalie hale x reader #alice cullen #alice cullen x reader #esme cullen #esme cullen x reader

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sheepispink · 3 days

Text

A Pearl Necklace

HAPPY ENDING VER of A Pearl Series

Ch1 Ch2

Where leon doesnt mess up and also leons pov because THATS SO FUN!!!

Continued from end of chapter 1 👍 this is a BONUS chapter. It makes more sense if you read chapter 2 first then this one. This can also be read as a continuation from chapter 2 as in the time line is the same except that it is ends with a good way and its his pov and like a few lines r diff

“That’s good enough. I fucking hate being woken to push her away from me..” A surge of anger swims in his chest as he shuffles to the edge of his bed, fuelled by a fear he doesn’t dare to pay mind to. It’s true, he hadnt wanted to deal with your tears or the feeling of you so close to him; nowadays

it created a feeling that was like a gnawing at his gut. His body eventually settles as his head sinks into the pillows, fluffed by your hands. Even when he’s tucked underneath the covers and beside the love of his life, he just feels so, so.. vulnerable. He rolls onto his side, one hand under his head as he tries to settle a racing pump somewhere in his chest, his eyes squeezing close. His throat chokes and his muscles clench and although he hasn’t made a sound, the reminder of the past few weeks screams in his ears like bells. Every single day is starting to feel more and more like autopilot, blanking his head out in hopes he can do his job without being reminded of horrors of years ago. He was worked up tonight, having fought another B.O.W and hiding a nasty gash beneath his shirt. You’d definitely ask about it later; the mere possibility bringing a flame of anger and forcing him take a sharp intake of breath. He turns over, seeing your back face him now and his lips pull at a small frown, wondering if you woke up for a moment. You shouldn’t be crying yourself to sleep, ever. But he leaves you this time, still revolting the thought of your touch and your skin if he dared to come closer.

When he wakes the next morning, he cant take it anymore. How is there another round of tears upon her face? He finally pushes away the nausea that creeps in his throat, his hand resting on your shoulder. “Hey, love, what happened? Who did this to you?” Forcing such honeyed words feels like a crime to himself, almost making him frustrated with himself for being untruthful. He also hates the way he’s grateful when you just wipe them away and force a smile, mumbling something about watching a sad movie. Not even for a moment does he dare challenge that, satisfied with a lie as he gets up for another gruelling day.

Over the next month, he feels a swell of pride for how much he has healed. For one, he’s managing his thoughts and emotions much better, no longer hanging on a loose thread whenever someone just speaks. He feels better, having finally gotten to the hang of closing his mind off whenever the thoughts arose. He was sleeping better, you barely even touched him in his sleep anymore— it was perfect. The one thing that slightly irked him is when you would leave the house. Why are you leaving? He hates that he’s curious and he knows he should just let you go; it’s another fuel for the temper that seems to take him easily these days. You’ve also been asking a lot of questions about him recently: how he finds the clothes you ironed for him, the food you cooked and, worst of all, his day. He’s already doing enough to push it away and you’re just bringing it right back to him again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He smells the familiar scent of blueberry pancakes as he steps into the kitchen that morning. You’ve been making them again recently but he wont dwell on the why and how. He doesn’t really like to think too much anymore. He picks up the newspaper as he sits at the small kitchen island, hair tousled and muscles aching from the long rest he received after a particularly tough mission. He had woken up on the other side of the bed today, kind of confused how he didn’t squash you in his sleep but as always, he doesn’t question anything. You slide a plate over to him, stacked high with those tasty pancakes and a dollop of whipped cream atop. He always had a bit of a sweet tooth and it’s been a long time since he’d been in the mood for sugar. Regardless, he’s not in the mood to smile or thank you, just eating his food as per normal.

“So..? Did I finally get it right?” He doesnt need to look up to see the small laugh and the way your lips curve into a teasing smile, one he had grown to despise. You always do this, every time you ask about his damn day.

He just- he cant take this anymore. You’re always prying, digging deep into his head and ripping bandages he left on because the wounds wont heal, they never will. He keeps them patched up for a reason, he doesn’t want to see it again. Nor does he want to talk about it.

“Can you stop interrogating me every day about whatever you do? It’s fine, okay? It’s never been any damn different; I don't see the big deal.” He scoffs, gritting his teeth as he holds back from practically shouting at you. His eyebrows furrow in exasperation, one hand rubbing his temple; he cant bear the headaches your words bring.

“I.. Leon- I was just trying to get some feedback.. They dont ever taste as good as the ones you would make.” Now you’re reduced to a stammering mess, trying to stir guilt within his gut, but he wont give in today.

“Well, can you stop? It’s really fucking annoying having to answer your stupid questions every day over menial things. Are you that insecure?” He doesn’t know why he said that but he knows it’s left his lips before he can stop it and one pang in the back of his head tells him that maybe he really is just being honest. You are insecure, thats why you’ve been doing so damn much and annoying him all the time. He takes another bite of the pancakes, his body screaming for relief even now with each rumble of his stomach.

“Leon- I understand work has been stressing you, but I'm just trying-“ There it is, that stupid expression again as you speak the one thing he never wanted you to say. “Work? That's what you think this is about? Maybe you are just idiotic or too narcissistic to realise maybe you are the problem.” He drops the fork in his hand, the metal hitting the porcelain plate as he stands. Of course you just had to mention work, you could never let him get a break could you? You just always had to ruin it for him.

“I am trying to actually be understanding, I'm sorry if I annoyed you but Leon- there is no need to put me down like that.” Again. Work. Don’t you know how to stop? He can feel that anger fuel again, rising and burning with each an every word. Until it snaps.

“You think you’re being understanding.” He laughs at your pitiful expression, thick with a mocking tone, as he says the words. “I can’t believe it. You actually think that. If you can get one thing through your mind, know that you don’t understand anything about me. You never have. Hah.. ever since that night where I almost fucking choked you.” He sneers at you, pushing the chair back as he stands, walking over to the sink with footsteps that echo with uncontrolled emotions.

“I’ve been trying to ask you—to help you. I want to be there for you..“

“Yeah, as if. You know, on that night, I really thought that you might just understand, unlike anyone else has. I was stupid enough to even think that. You just told me your same stupid reassurances; I should’ve kept my hands on your throat a little longer that day. I wish it scared you off and out of my life.” He snaps, leaving a thick tension in the air, like a wall between the pair of you. It’s cruel and unforgiving and an ache in his heart tears the muscle. Bloodthirst, it’s all he can remember from that virus thrumming in his veins. He can’t just quench that bloodthirst, not to you, so his mouth does the work, wearing you down bit by bit. The consuming memory of devouring the very life out of a human, it’s almost like it’s returning to him now.

“You’re not what I wanted.” Words are just spilling out his lips and he cant even control them; he cant even hear each calculated insult.

“I shouldn’t have expected things you could never reach.” He speaks, the plate dropping into the sink with a horrible clatter. All your words are blurring into one, meeting, intersecting all at that one statement ‘work has been stressing you’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He stands before the sink, having splashed his face with water at least seven times for the past forty minutes. Only now does he finally feel more like himself—or well the version of himself he prefers to exist as—and his head is free from that invasive fog. Slowly his chest falls, letting out a long breath as his finger pushes the tap off. He hasn’t dealt with that in a while and it only served to remind him that he never wanted to again. That feeling of an aching chest, ribs feeling like they’d crack from the pound of a terrified heart, desperate for relief. Although he always manages to calm every time, the edge of the cut always remains unsealed. Theres no real relief other than the fact it’s all over, no peace in his mind ever. It frustrates him all the more, he’s tried anything and everything and yet theres still that pinprick of a hole which has cracked his mind and heart.

After that, he barely stopped interacting with you altogether. He wasn’t sure why, but it felt right. Maybe it was because you really were pissing him off about everything or that he had started to fall out of love with you. Or maybe, though he never liked to let it linger, he was terrified of the memories only you could resurface. He watched your every frown, the light in your eyes slowly dim out as you start to shift and change. It’s been two months since he last considered you his wife, let alone someone he even cared for. He barely feels the guilt of leaving you like this anymore nor does he feel anything anymore. It just feels blank. Like everyday, every hour, every minute of these days. He can’t remember when he last washed his hair; he just knows he did it. He cant remember filling out the reports, but there they sit on the desk. He cant remember what life was like before the missions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Six months. It’s been six months since he almost killed you, since his hands were on your throat and your terrified expression flashed through his eyes with your shaking pupils and beating chest.

Six months since he hurt you. He thought you had moved on, he thought he moved on. He thought he was doing okay.

Only having just stepped through the doorway, his eyes already found your trembling form on the couch. Your eyes were red and wet, salty streaks down your cheeks as you sob. The worst of all is that when you heard him enter, your eyes widened in a way that was far worse than just regular shock. Like you’d be scolded or mocked, shouted at or reprimanded; you looked like you were scared you would be hurt. He couldn’t shake that sight this time, every time he looked at you even when you scramble to reassure him that it was just hormonal. He knew it was bullshit; he had always known and he wanted to ignore it but he just couldn’t. Not anymore. Not when you were scared of him.

He sits at the breakfast table again the next morning, the air quiet from the lack of humming when you make your food, not even music playing in the kitchen or a pep in your step as you dance around the kitchen. You dont spend 5 minutes fluffing the pillows before bed, nor do you use those stupid face masks with the silly patterns. Hell, you dont even put makeup on anymore. The fridge is stocked and yet theres not even a trace of you to mark it as yours. Everything seems to have changed more than he expected. He cant fathom that he missed all these little differences and the fact there were so many. You’re not the same anymore.

There you go again, leaving randomly during the day after scrambling some excuse about needing spring onions. You barely ever use spring onions and he’s positive he saw some in the freezer yesterday. Whilst he usually would’ve ignored it, he finds himself edging closer and closer until he finds himself following you down the road. He saw the fresh tearstains this morning and you gave him no explanation again, this time he will find out.

You walk and walk and walk, and yet you never go to the grocery store like you said. So why do you even leave the house? It’s not like you were avoiding him, you still hung around him plenty and it’s not like you just needed fresh air, otherwise you would’ve just said so. He keeps his distance as he follows you, your depressed expression obvious, until eventually you pass by a friend. It doesn’t look planned but eventually the pair of you sit at a bench and as bad as it seems, he just cant turn around now. What if you tell her the reason you’re always upset? He needs to know.

“Hey, you know i always see you outside these days. I mean damn, do you really love nature that much?” Your friend teases, although a small pitiful look swirls in their eyes. Leon had been wondering the same thing as her.

“I uh.. well..” You give a sheepish smile as you lean into the bench. “I figured Leon would want some alone time.”

“Again? You come like everyday.”

You just shrug, sinking into the bench and quickly shifting the topic with a shake of your head.

A lot of things are starting to become clearer to him now. Every single action of yours held genuine love and yet he couldnt even bear to think about it. He wouldn’t dare to, he couldnt give in no matter how tempting it seemed. This is the life he chose; the life that would kill him slowly but it had it’s perks. He heads home after that, thinks about what happened for a bit before deciding ultimately to leave you alone again. Even so, you still plague his mind every night, every minute and second. It still makes his chest burn all the more, his irritation on an all high. He should not care, he cannot care. So why does it feel like he’s going to eventually break?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His body is covered in bruises when he returns home that night, a bandage around one of his hands and his eyes sunken. He had never felt worse in his life, feeling like he was tipping on the edge of fainting or just losing everything altogether. His heavy feet dragged him, feeling like weights were pulling him back as he reached the doorstep. After a few mishaps, he finally finds the keys and unlocks the door. His boots echo on the hardwood floor and though he’d usually collapse into bed, he needs some painkillers desperately tonight. The door for the kitchen is right there but he feels compelled to head to the living room and check if you’re awake. He hates that he’s actually glad he did.

This feels like the memories that resurface, only a new kind. You’re crying, again. You’re sobbing your eyes out and he’s had enough; he’d exhausted, bruised and battered and he’s not letting guilt consume him tonight. How dare you disturb the life he forced himself to follow? Anger swells at the sound and sight of you crying today, not because it hurt his hears but because it hurts his heart. The footsteps grow louder as he nears the couch and he hates the way you look up at him in a trembling fear, hands gripping the fabric of your pajama trousers. “L-leon, i didnt mean- it was a sad movie-“

“Stop giving me those fucking excuses.”

He’s pissed, his body feels broken, and he’s not letting you get by anymore. He’s letting that anger reign free. He nears the couch until he’s standing before you, no words spilling out your lips as you freeze up in fear. He could do anything to you but would he actually harm you? He knows he looks like he would, and he sees that realisation flash before your eyes. He leans down, closer and time seems to slow as his hand reaches out. His eyes focus on how you squeeze your eyes shut, the mere sight grasping his heart tight, brace for the impact and the sting of pain that should follow if he were anyone else.

But he’s not anyone else and he’s disgusted with himself that you would think so. His hand meets the small of your back as his arm wraps around you. He places your hands around his shoulders, knowing you seem far too frazzled to do so and takes you into his lap as he settles in your seat. In silence, he strains his bruised arm to grab the blanket you keep at the end of the couch. You always said it was for ‘cold nights’ but it always translated to cuddling sessions until you were caught by slumber and he carried you to bed. The warm fluff of the blanket is pulled over the pair of you, his hand keeping you firmly in place against his chest as he makes sure to settle you. He doesn’t dare say a word, the nausea in his throat creeping higher with each brush against your bare arms. But he’ll bear it for you, just this once. He knows your still unsure: he can see the way you sneak small uncertain glances as your hands twitch at his shoulders, begging to wrap around his form. So he doesn’t make you lift a finger, taking your hands in his and helps them to settle around his body before he returns to his embrace on you again. It’s utterly silent in the room yet the need to speak is desperate; the both of you know this isn’t normal and yet neither of you are complaining. With his chin resting gently on the top of your head, he rubs your back slowly until you relax into him and somehow grasp him even tighter. Even though his body feels like a block of ice, some part of him inside melts aswell; a small sign of that vulnerability he despised returns. Yet still he stays here until you begin to mumble small apologies which are only met by a small shake of his head and a motion to stay silent. You immediately fall quiet and he sees your eyes glimmer for the first time in months; he’s not sure if the crying caused it or true hope, but he prays you’re feeling just a smidge better. You end up resting your head against his chest comfortably, glistening tears staining your cheeks as you eventually fall asleep.

He takes you upstairs soon after, settling you on the armchair as he notices the dirty sheets from his lack of care. Despite his previous exhaustion, he couldn’t care less about his bruises as he takes out fresh sheets from the cupboard and changes them quickly. Once the bed smells brand new again, he scoops your drowsy body again, hushing you when you begin to wake, and tucks you beneath the covers. He cant lay beside you in such a state so he begins to head to the bathroom, considering a quick shower just to scrub off any grime. Much to his dismay, he’s quickly stopped, your weary eyes blinking as you sit up in bed and your fingers lightly tugs at his hand.

“I.. uh.. um..”

“Yes?” His voice comes out gruffer than he’d like, fingers twitching at the feeling of your skin against his.

“You- you’re going to come back, right? You’re not going to leave, will you?” The mere sound of your hopeless tone is enough to make him grit his teeth. The question sounds hopeful and yet it’s obvious you think you don’t trust him to say the truth.

“No, i’m not leaving, I’m just taking a a shower.” He states, voice just as cold as the one that would cut you through with insults. Still, his hands are gentle as they push your shoulders back into the bed.

“Go back to sleep..” He sighs, pulling the covers over you again. “I’ll be quick. I promise.” He watches as you reluctantly nod, eyes watching him with distrust before he turns around and disappears into the bathroom.

He stands infront of the mirror again, waiting for his mind to crack and fall as it usually does on these hallowed nights. He had done everything wrong tonight; he touched you, spoke to you, even promised you. He went near you when he shouldn’t have. But no onslaught of fears come today, or that sharp ache in his chest which reminds him on horrors in a foreign place. Instead, he just looks at his confused expression in the mirror, because for the first time in seven months he’s not acting mindlessly. He’s actually thinking, breathing and talking; he’s living. After everything he’s done to survive and live better, the one thing he needed was you. He understands now, after all this time, why his mind was so insistent on staying away from you, why he did everything. It was because he was scared.

Everytime he gets a nightmare, it ends with the fear on your face after that horrible night. The more he pushes it away, the more he tries to forget is the more he ended up harming you. He refused to touch you because of the fear he could do it again. Every single thing shut off in his brain because he was terrified of those traumatic experiences and he couldn’t ever admit it. He even refused to come near you because he was scared you’d try console him and he knew he would break within seconds. Vulnerability had never been his strong suit and the mere fear of it had ended up being the cancer that consumed every single part of him until he became a living shell. He never wanted to hurt you, or snap at you, or make you feel like nothing. He always figured it was better that way because it meant you wouldn’t have to deal with him and he wouldn’t have to open up. He was a coward and he had paid the price for it; the cost would’ve been your sanity if he hadn’t cracked tonight. He doesn’t want to think of what could’ve happened if he didnt, but he has to. Avoiding everything led to this and it will again. His hands plant against the shower wall as he starts to wash, and slowly begins to think about everything he did wrong even if it hurts more than those night terrors.

He watches your drowsy eyes widen upon seeing him when he re-enters the room, his heart aching at the tear stains that shimmer on your cheeks from earlier. “I told you to sleep..” He mumbles out, standing awkwardly in the doorway, wishing he could avert his gaze but that would be too cruel to you. “I..i… you..” Your lips fumble for words, eyes gazing up and down his unclothed body. Just in his boxers, he stands before you with his adams apple bobbing as he swallows sharply. “Yeah..”

From head to toe his once pristine skin was covered in scars and bruises of all kinds. He hadn’t let you seen him since his trip to Spain and the sight had been much more horrible back then. Scratches, bite marks, dark scars that show deep gashes and even fresh purple bruises from today’s mission. He knew he couldn’t bear to speak to you about anything just yet, but he mustered up his courage to at least show you. He was also aware this wouldnt make you magically forgive him and he wouldn’t accept it if you did. He fucked up, everything, but he’s not about to let it die when he can at least help you bounce back. He’d destroy himself if it meant seeing you as happy as you used to be.

“Leon.. i..”

“I know you’re going to feel bad, so don’t. I didn’t want you know, thats not your fault.”

He watches you nod meekly, quiet eyes still scanning all over his scarred form, before he begins to walk hesitantly over to the bed. Clenching his fists, he drives down the burn of pain that comes with each step and the guilt that blazes through his gut. Your hands reach out, tentatively before grabbing onto his own. “..Fine, i wont say that.. but can i say one thing at least?”He lets out a small sigh and nods in agreement, squeezing your hand as he sits in bed next to you. Your eyes flutter meekly as you swallow, his hands carefully lifting you to bring your head to rest on his lap with his back pressed against the headboard.

“I’m pissed at you. I- i really am and-“ Your eyes are persistent as they look right up at him, chest rising quickly as you spill everything out. “You made me feel like i was going insane and-“ He’s concerned at how your nails imprint into your palms before he gently moves your fingers to focus on something else—anything else, even himself. So he pulls you into him as you crumble, your fingers digging into his back as to express your desperation.  “I wanted to help you so bad- i didn’t want us to fall apart and we were, fuck- we couldn’t even be near each other. You looked so miserable every damn day Leon- I couldn’t even do anything about it-“ You let out a choked sob against his neck, his hand pulling you firm against him as he squeezes you protectively.

“It was never your fault, you’ve never done anything wrong in your life. I was too much of a fucking coward to face life and i ruined us.” He confesses, the palms of his hands cupping your flushed cheeks. “Dont you dare forgive me, not now. I dont want you forgiving me until you’re absolutely sure.”

You quieten down almost instantly by his words, reaching your hands up to rest behind his neck until eventually you nod and he knows he’s made the right choice. His lips turn up just slightly and then you sit up a little better, trying to look firm even though you had been so vulnerable a moment earlier. That’s why he loves you, you’re just so perfect. Not once have you ever cared about what others think of you, nor do you let yourself be trampled over so easily. Even if you’re lips are wobbly as you narrow your eyes at him right now, coming off more adorable rather than angry. Despite everything he’s ever fought and the praises he receives for his work, you’re the strongest person in this very world and the reason he’s still here. You once told him that if he was a mountain, you’d be like those little flowers that grow at the top even when the conditions are beyond habitable. He’s never believed anything more until now.

“Fine.. if you really want that then i wont forgive you until you tell me everything. I refuse to forgive you until you tell me every little thing in your head.” His lips quirk into a slight smile, a first in too many blank days to count. His thumb rubs the curve of your cheek, so rosy and pink. “I promise, the day you forgive me will come.” He leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before shuffling until he’s laying back in bed with you atop of him. “But for now, i want those dark circles under your eyes gone immediately.”

“You should sleep on the couch for all the days i did.” You feign annoyance, small huff leaving your lips and without a second thought he rises out of bed. It’s like it’s hitting him all over again, like a teenage boy trying to hide his crush, he misses the warmth of your body desperately. Even so, he knows he deserves far worse than sleeping on the couch, so he’ll bear it for now.

“I’ll make you breakfast everyday day going forward too. Blueberry pancakes, just the way you like it.”

Right now, it sounds like the bare minimum, but you had no idea how much he’d love you from now on. He’d tell you more but he’d prefer to see the glimmer in your eyes when you’re surprised. Though you tug at his hand before he can go.

“I think we can leave your punishment for next week. You owe me 6 months worth of love.”

That makes him finally grin and he’s under the covers again, arms enveloping you before you press your lips against his.

#leon kennedy #resident evil #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil fluff #resident evil angst #leon x reader #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x you #re4 #re4 leon

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knizuu · 2 days

Text

When 2 ain’t enough ya gotta have // PT 3 OF LOOKING AT FANG’S STORY // SPOILERS BTW

Wawa first of all, hi!!! If you don’t get what I’m talking about:

This is my original rant with Superstars included! [Check out the other reblogs too if ya want =w=]

And This should be about the start of the Fang miniseries!!

OK OK NOW LETS GET INTO IT

There’s some things I said on discord already related :]

Sooooo….you might’ve noticed the fact Team Hooligan is kindaaaaa not a thing anymore :’]

CRIESSS AS A HOOLIGAN FAN SORRY-

Anyways efkjwghrj, my main point is that he got left because Fang was IGNORANT

Now I don’t wanna say he’s thinking he has more power, because Fang knows DARN WELL he doesn’t have the skill compared to Bean or Bark. He isn’t strong enough, he isn’t crazy enough, he’s defined by what he NEAR to, like his Marvelous Queen. “Ignorance is bliss” and I think he embodies this idea to the extent of how awful it can be in the long run.

Oh ye the Marvelous Queen? Da she?

Fang ABSOLUTELY is caring of Marvelous Queen, heck, even more publicly shown rather than Bean or Bark. Now ye he could just not CARE about Bean or Bark but that’s just a lie. Even at the worst, he NEEDED fighters near him to help his journey. That’s just how it is to me :]

But I think what makes Marvelous Queen so much more valuable is the point I already shared: It’s what defines him. It’s what brings the power to HIM ONLY. With Bean and Bark, it makes TEAM HOOLIGAN look good. With the Marvelous Queen, FANG’s impressive. Because it’s such a great device Fang uses perfectly. So it means SO MUCH to him if he had the Marvelous Queen by his side.

…Which is sad, if you know the fact the Marvelous Queen EXPLODED IN HIS DUCKING FACE [Trip I love you but ARHGHHGHJG-

Oooh so if you know me, there’s been two other pictures like this. One being of him thinking “WHERE’S BEAN AND BARK?” and the other more so “I cannot be a failure AGAIN.” This one is…a lil new to me for some reason but I’ll still use it!

Ok well the first one was the “WHERE’S BEAN AND BARK?” Which goes great with dis one! Both are worried about WHERE Bark and Bean are because they’re supposed to be there for Fang. Like always.

In the last one, he’s just…alone, with no one he’s really thinking about probably BECAUSE he doesn’t want to think about Team Hooligan.

Yknow cuz if I was in his raggedy shoes, I’d ALSO feel pretty put down from two hooligans who now seem to be judging me! It’s understandable! What he’s so ignorant about is the fact he CARES about these goobers. Yes he uses them to get paid and shiz but he’d also had GREAT chemistry with them!! They were a solid team who just had FUN for darn sakes!

But perhaps he’s getting too stuck in the comfort. Bean doesn’t have the calm social skills and Bark is practically ignored. They’re a strong unit but not mentally!! You have a good soul being pushed aside, an emotional help who’s getting mad, and an insecure leader who’s getting pissy.

This isn’t who they USED to be, heck the reasons as to what changed kinda boggled me. But I DO understand how

Fang felt like he was going through more trouble with Bean and Bark, hence he didn’t even BOTHER to ask them to come back

He cares about his self worth more than his team, because he doesn’t want to be a failure. He wants to gain money and power so he’s strong.

Because of 2, he’s forgetting he truly loves his team. That they actually help him throughout his journeys but he’s taking them for granted. I guess he sees the Marvelous Queen as ALL. HE. NEEDS.

aight so we all getting this?? Ok ok

Ok ok just a lil note before a bigger notice-he DOESS say his team mates’ names for alert. But in one of my older posts, I still do believe when Fang’s first confused where his team is, that he’s saying their names out of fear. Because now he’s scared. [in that past moment]

ANYWAYYYY

Ahme kewhbfe this was from the new sonic channel art!! [it might not be too new now ASHFVGWR]

Ya see how the first image tells their relationship? How Fang is…[gasp/silly] INSIGHTFUL??? This may not mean much but the fact I brung up him being ignorant for so long-this is new

Because I thought Fang didn’t care for Trip AT ALL when Superstars first came out-then I saw the pancake image and went “Oh ok so he does like Trip in the sense she is caring and loyal” and this…OH WOWHW HWOH OHWIDWH THIS

It’s only the English translation, but “I wonder what Fang thinks when he sees Trip, who obeys without giving up…” IS SUCH A STRONG MYSTERY

Like ye, what *DEOS* HE THIJNK?? [what does he think pft]

Personally, I think he’s reminding himself of his team and Marvelous Queen

But what’s so special about her is that she isn’t doubtful to Fang as much as Bean and Bark. Yknow cus Bean and Bark has more of their own identity and sternness. And with the Marvelous Queen, heck she can’t speak a word! She’s just the product of what Fang needs to win a battle or win some cash. Trip is like the cheap Walmart version of a Marvelous Queen. But instead of being perfectly one noted as Fang’s helper, she’s clumsy. Though it seems Fang is not TRULY mad about that. Because he’s being respected, saluted, and seen for the wonder he is-/lyrics sorry I love the lion king sm

So…I think he’s gaining more control! I think with a newbie gal such as Trip, he’s getting more insightful on how he acted or acts now. From Superstars/Trio of Trouble, he’s anxious and passionate for being a successful man. But in here, which is supposed to be before Superstars, he’s extremely cocky and forgetting social queues. And for Fang’s Big Break, well I say it does seem like a break! From just…being Fang and not Team Hooligan, Fang’s a lot less crazy or extreme. He’s more calm and collected. Maybe it’s the fact he got too comfortable with being the leader in Team Hooligan. Got too ignorant and was left with no one at the end. Now he’s learning. All anew! With Superstars, he’s grown to a new light. Trip seems to have left a mark! She made Fang more insightful but of course at the expense of Fang losing himself. [As in, the Marvelous Queen]

So I wonder where Fang will go now!! Will he get with Bean and Bark again?? Will he learn to be a better jerboa?? If Trip and Fang really get their new adventures…could we learn more? Ig we’ll never know until there’s more content. At least it’s exciting!

I just hope wherever Bean and Bark are, that they aren’t too mad at Fang. Maybe the separation is what heals them? Because at the core, they’ll ALL unstable. Darn it, Sega, give us more Hooligan content!!/silly but yeh!

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