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#bartxnhood writes
bartxnhood · 1 year
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wanna be yours | l.h
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luke hemmings x fem!reader
summary: luke had his eyes on you from the moment you met him so, it killed him when you couldn’t take the hint that he was in love with you.
warnings: two oblivious people in love, my bad writing, mentions of a lot of drinking
a/n: someone asked for jealous and protective luke ??? say no more. feedback is appreciated ! ALSO didn’t exactly turn out how i originally thought but it’s a good start !! enjoy !!
requests open
not proofread
Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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there is a scene in a movie where the lead character and the love interest lock eyes.
they lose sight of everything around them, leaving just each other in focus. you never liked seeing those kinds of movies, thought it was cliche, and never believed in love at first sight. if you're being honest, it was overdone, unrealistic, and plain annoying.
but, it was fate that it would fall on you.
you didn't enjoy parties because there were too many people there, you didn't like drinking, and people were making out all over the place, some of whom were newlyweds and others who were having affairs. you hated being messy, and gatherings were messy. also, you made an effort to limit the number of your friends because you found it uncomfortable to be surrounded by so many people.
but ashton, your best friend, pleaded with you to attend this particular gathering. hours would pass, and just when you thought he had finished pleading, he would resume. so you gave in.
that’s how you found yourself at ashton's house, sitting in your car, staring at your phone, and observing the passing of time. It had been over fifteen minutes since you had first decided whether or not to do this. hearing the faint music emanating from the house, your chest felt constricted. you pushed open the car door and walked over to the home. attempting to summon the guts to enter by standing outside the front door.
when the door opened, there was a strong odor of alcohol, as well as loud music and conversation. while searching among the throng of individuals swaying their bodies against one another to find your friend, you regretted your decision to agree. when you eventually located the man after searching the kitchen, the other person standing by his side immediately caught your eye.
everything around you vanished in an instant, leaving you only able to concentrate on the man with whom you had just locked eyes. wonderfully curled hair, flawless skin, eyes the color of the sea, and just enough of his white silk shirt's buttons were undone to make you flustered. he was stunning. all of a sudden, the room contained only you and him. there was only you and him; nothing else or anyone else was important.
but you were pulled from that thought As ashton grabbed your wrist and said, "cmon!", you were jolted out of your trance-like state. ”i gotta introduce you to everyone!" the australian cheered and dragged you into the kitchen where everyone was standing; all of a sudden, you were the center of attention. you waved to the small group of people while saying, "guys, this is my amazing friend, y/n," feeling a little uncomfortable at the unexpected focus. “y/n, this is calum, michael, crystal, sierra, and luke,” ashton said as he made an introduction.
the small group of individuals exchanged smiles, and you shook hands with each person before approaching luke with a gentle "hello."
wow.
your palm touched his, you prayed he wouldn't notice your flushed cheeks, and you both nodded. he was the most stunningly handsome person you had ever seen, by a long shot. ashton once again grabbed your arm away and dragged you out of the kitchen before you had a chance to continue admiring his attractiveness. while waving the group off, you glanced over your shoulder. You weren't angry with ashton since he knew you'd never tried something like this and that you were making a big step by doing so. he also needed a reason to prove to his buddies that you were real and an important part of his life.
at night's end, you were sitting in ashton's backyard, lounging around the pool, admiring the reflection as lights danced across the water of the pool. even though roughly half of the people left, music continued to play. people said he would always throw the nicest parties, and now you understood why. but you simply weren't made for this situation; you were too uncomfortable and worn out from engaging with everyone for so long. You simply wanted to return home, binge-watch your favorite movie in the coziness of your bed, and eat some frozen pizza.
the word "hey" surprised you and made you flinch just a little. your eyes landed on the person standing above you, holding one cup while concealing the other in his pocket. luke apologized for the quick response, "oh, sorry, i thought you heard me," but you just shook your head. you shrugged and turned to face the swimming pool, saying, "no, it's alright, was just thinking." there was a little period of silence since neither of you knew exactly what to say. you had just recently met. “do you want a drink?” he asked. “oh, no thanks,” you said as you once again looked up at him. “i'm not really a drinker.” the blonde let out a gentle laugh. "but you came a party?" while scratching your forehead, you chuckled alongside him. “well, ashton is a push-“ over. yeah. that he is," luke continued your sentence and you laughed. “i think i’m heading home now, im way too tired to stay much longer”. you got out of the lawn chair facing luke.
his mind began racings, he didn’t want the conversation to end just yet. he had to think of something so he could see you more. “do you need a ride?”
your hands were crossed, and your eyes darted back to his and then to the cup in his grasp. "thanks for the offer, but I just live ten minutes away," you said. he extended his hand to you after giving you a nod and pulling it from his pocket. “it was lovely meeting you, y/n,” “you too, luke”
you had no intention of seeing luke again after that. you had your friend group, ashton had his own, and you happened to be a part of both. you had no intention of ever returning to another party unless you absolutely had to be there; that atmosphere wasn't for you. it was too much for you, and you just wished ashton would be more considerate of your decision. you knew he wanted you around; you'd been best friends since high school, and it was difficult for you both to have separate lives.
but fate had something else in store for you.
it was subtle when you first became aware of his presence. you ran into him a few times in town, which wasn't unusual. but then he'd show up at your job, or he'd find his way into the same restaurant you were in. it was amusing at first because what are the chances you'd keep meeting like this?
so you confronted him one day. “you know, if you keep this up you’ll have to take me out for coffee” you started, putting down the record you pick up. this was one of the many times you had run into luke while running errands. this time, the both of you ended up in a local record store. you heard him chuckle softly before turning to you, “are you asking me out on a date?” he leans against the shelf raising his eyebrow. you shrug, “more like telling you to take me out” he nods, leaning in closer. “i see..then i guess i’ll see you tomorrow?”
you and luke are two opposites but somehow you two hit it off
he drinks while you don’t.
despite your differences, you detested parties, and luke's life was spent drinking; not you. you've never thought that opposites attract. yet it was odd because as time went on, you discovered that you were rather similar. you and luke had a lot in common, and you got along just well. it was never dull or tiring since the two of you could converse for as long as it took, even until the sun rose. you frequently found yourself stranded in ashton's or calum's backyard, relaxing on the chairs after talking until the wee hours of the morning like you were adolescents.
each time the two of you are in close contact, there is tension. You adored the quiet glances you two shared. It was much more enjoyable because it seemed as though the two of you were barred from being together.
It was never meant to go this far. You'd been hanging out with Luke for quite some time. you've been wanting to be with him every other day for at least a few months now, waiting for his texts or calls saying he wanted to hang out or if he found a new restaurant he thinks you'd like. or the way he'd subconsciously hold the small of you back while leading you through a crowded area, or how he'd always go out of his way to make sure you got home safely.
it was never supposed to escalate this quickly.
you found yourself wanting to hang out with him even more, wondering if Luke would be there when ashton asked you to hang out. You started thinking about him all the time.
that's when it started getting more complicated. you knew something between you changed after being with him so long. and although you knew how it changed you, you were too scared to jeopardize anything between you not when it was fresh.
truthfully, you just displayed to him, that you'd always be available. you could say no to anyone who had ever asked you out because of your newfound feelings for luke. but you couldn't tell him that, it was too soon. but even then, you couldn't get the sound of his laugh out of your mind, or the way your name rolled off his tongue like it was meant to be there. you couldn't stop picturing what it would be like to lay in his arms, limbs tangled together as he sang you the sweetest lullaby.
unknown to you, luke made an effort to avoid you in the beginning because he knew he couldn't control himself with you. no matter how hard he tried to hide himself from you or push you away, you always managed to find a way into his head like an addictive substance. as you were the most gorgeous person he had ever seen, he wanted to shield you from all harm and evil in the world and would do whatever it took to ensure that everyone knew the two of you belonged together.
but, did you know that?
you began to watch him from then on, looking for clues that could point you in the right direction. you'd noticed him fiddling with his rings, then grazing over the leg of his jeans or joggers, slipping his hand between you on the couch. his hand would inch across the seat, pausing now and then. then he'd retreat without much thought, preferring to rest his hand on his thigh rather than bother with yours.
nothing would have made you happier than to come across his hand. any action would be preferable to simply waiting for him to take the initiative and pleading with your eyes as if it would help. you contemplated inviting him over, striking up a conversation, or even touching his hand. Instead, you remained silent despite your strong desire to speak but your inability to do so.
you have no idea how or why you began to feel more confident around luke; you were the shy and reserved friend before meeting him, but you changed completely after meeting him. and you knew people would judge you for it, saying things like, "oh, i can't believe you'd changed yourself for a guy!" however, this was not the case. he made you feel something that you couldn't put into words. maybe he inspired you to be someone you've never been before.
you were standing outside ashton's door, picking at your nails, debating whether this was a good idea. you were dressed differently than usual, wearing a tight dress with a large leather jacket over it to try to hide your body.
something like this was extremely unusual for you, and you may have been an idiot to dress like this for a man who probably only thought of you as a friend. but it had to be worth a shot, right?
you let yourself in, the music was blaring and the pungent smell of liquor was all too familiar to you. you pushed through the people and eventually got to ashton’s living room where everyone else was. they all cheered and greeted you.
ashton hugged you first and said a bunch of drunk incoherent words about how happy he was to see you. then you greeted luke with a warm while which he reciprocated. “happy birthday luke” you said, he nodded. “thank you, y/n”.
after the small reunion, the group dissolved. everyone was off doing their own thing. you found yourself standing outside, a cup in your hand filled with whatever you found. the night air was a bit chilly which caused you to curse at yourself mentally for wearing such a short dress.
“you look nice.” luke’s voice rang as he came up behind you. You looked over your shoulder and spotted him. “thanks.” you smiled, and he raised his eyebrow. “you dress up that pretty for me?” he was standing next to you now, his comment and proximity were enough to make you blush. “and what if i did?” you retorted. luke smirked, “i’d be thankful because you look so good in that dress.”
he leaned closer, keeping eye contact with you.
he was so close to you that your heart began to beat quickly. you were attempting to read him while his eyes were staring right through you. there are two possible outcomes here. one of two things will happen: either someone will interrupt you like in a cliché movie, or he has the ideal opportunity to kiss you right now.
he leans in even closer, saying, "i'd even say that you should start dressing like this too, it suits you." you felt the blood rush to your cheeks.
kiss me. please. just do it
you wanted him to make the first move because this moment had the chance to change everything. you didn't want to appear so desperate. luke must have noticed your begging expression because he started leaning in again, this time only a few centimeters from your lips.
oh, god. it’s happening. it’s happen-
“come on man, it's time for you to open your presents!" michael interrupted the situation by shouting from the kitchen. you sighed as you saw luke leave. you could almost sense the disappointment in his eyes as he turned to look at you to check if you were following him.
“okay, and it seems the last one is from….y/n!” michael and calum handed over the large box to luke.
luke unwrapped the box, displaying the guitar case as you watched. he looked perplexed as he tried to imagine what you may have given him. the one guitar he had been dreaming about was waiting for him when he opened the case. "y/n.." He takes the guitar in his hands and places it on his lap.
everyone who was gathered around him suddenly turned to look at you. he is the last one to do so.
"you bought this?" He asks, and you nod while beaming broadly. he had never looked so startled to you. how did you know, exactly? “how…how did you?” he trailed off.
"well, you talked about it for so long, and occasionally i caught you looking it up. so i thought, why not get it for you?“ you responded.
luke stood up and hurried to you after putting the red guitar back in its case. you were engulfed by his arms, spinning you. "im grateful. I have never gotten a present better than that. I promise i’ll treasure it” he smiles, “i know you will luke”.
and for the rest of the night, everything went great. until it didn’t.
"y/n," ashton said, pulling you out of your thoughts.
"hm?" he had a mischievous smile on his face as you dropped your phone to your lap. "have you ever tried playing the drums?" "no?" you shook your head. It came out as a question as if you were asking yourself a question. "why?" he approached you and reached for your wrist. "you're about to!"
ashton was perched on the stool and sat you down on his lap, having handed you his drumsticks and demonstrated how to hold them properly as his hands caressed yours. he explained that he would only have you play a simple beat. he taught you the basics and then let you play a few beats on your own. you didn't notice how close ashton was, how his breath tickled your spine, or how delicately his hand held yours.
you two were laughing because you couldn't play because you had almost no rhythm. "this is exactly why you guys are musicians," you laughed, rising from ashton's lap and returning his sticks. "nah, practice enough and you'll get good enough to join the band," he winked.
luke watched the scene unfold in front of him, how close ashton was, the way he eyed you like you were some kind of prey. his hand was supporting his chin, his elbow was resting on the couch arm, and his jaw was locked. luke began tapping his finger impatiently against his cheek, were you so oblivious? everyone was making moves toward you, and you didn't even look at him? he pushed himself off the sofa and out of the room to get some fresh air. if he was in there any longer he would explode.
he hated the fact that, despite your lack of effort, you had him in your grasp. luke hated how near the guys were to you and how they treated you like they were hunting prey. how did you not notice how they eyed you? how the other boys treated you like some kind of object. especially ashton.
we’re you so oblivious to their advances? did you not see how luke wanted to rip you away from them and keep you all to himself?
did you even notice his attempts to try and win you?
He wanted the world to know how badly he wanted you, how you were his, and that despite his best efforts to deny it, he was falling in love with you. Luke had difficulty accepting it, but he would go to the ends of the earth for you.
“what was that about?” you ask, after watching luke exit the room. calum shrugged, “who knows. it’s luke” he didn’t look at you as he was nose deep in his phone. you looked around the room, everyone seemed not interested. “he probably left because ashton was feeling you up” someone added. you huffed, grabbed your jacket, and walked outside to the patio.
you saw his silhouette and walked up to him. “luke?” he didn’t respond and you walked closer. “lu?” you spoke the nickname you had given him. he finally turned back to look at you.
you saw that look in his eyes, the only look he had when looking at you. “luke, what’s going on? why’d you walk out like that? did i do something wrong?” his back was still turned to you, refusing to look at you. “you just don’t get it, do you?” he still wouldn’t face you. “get what, luke? the fact that you’re ignoring me in front of everyone and leaving me in the dark.” you were feeling frustrated, upset that he wouldn’t even look at you. “god, luke, just look at me!” you grabbed his arm, spinning him around so he’d have to look at you now.
“talk to me.” you pleaded. your eyes begging as you stared into his blue eyes. luke hated it, he hated how you had him in the palm of your hand ready to do anything for you if you’d just say the words. he detested that no matter how hard he tried, it would always be you. “oh, baby,” his hand caressed your cheek. “don’t make me spell it out for you…you know i want you”
“what?” you were only able to mutter, feeling the heat take over your face. maybe it was the liquor, or maybe it just was the fact that he said those words. you opened your mouth to say something but he cut you off. “every fucking day, I wish you were mine- every single goddamned day.”
you removed his hand from your cheek, silently missing his touch. “how was i supposed to know you felt more for me than just a friend, lu?” you saw his brows furrow. “you never explicitly told me, you wanted me..why?” you trailed off, you watched as he tried to come up with an explanation. “you never, ever, use your words like.”
you watched as he examined your face. you were mad but calm. it scared him, we’re you about to reject him? “for someone who writes songs for his job, he would be able to express his feelings freely. i guess not.”
“how did you expect me to decipher the hundred different ways you look in my direction? this isn’t just on me yknow. luke goes quiet, his eyes looking deeper into your eyes than before.
“i thought my actions would say all they needed to” you reply, “i thought you were just acting as a friend? you and all the guys act the same” luke locks his jaw, balling his fits by his side. “they act that way because they want to fuck you y/n.” you look taken aback legging out a scoff.
“so what about you, then?” “what about me?” “are you acting this way because you want to fuck me?” you smirk as luke realizes he backed himself into a corner.
“i—no? that’s not what—fuck.” he runs his hand through his hair. “let me start over. y/n, i’m sorry i wasn’t honest and i’m sorry i didn’t use my words. but i want you more than a friend should and i need to know, do you want me that way too?” you try to hide your smile while you step closer and wrap your arms around his neck. “see now was that so hard?”
he looks down at you, raising his eyebrow. “you didn’t answer the question.” you let the smile take over fully. “luke hemmings i have been tripping over my feet since the day we first met. yes, i very much want you too.”
he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, allowing him to peck your lips. “i was hoping you’d say that”
(and you can predict the end u filthy ppl<3)
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greatfandom · 2 years
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Daryl Dixon Re-blog Masterlist ;)
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amazingmaeve · 2 years
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Eli “Hawk” Moskowitz Fic Recommendations!
follow each and everyone of these authors because they take time out of their days to write these AMAZING pieces of work. also because they deserve all the praise and likes and follows!
also don't forget to like and comment your love about all of these fics because they deserve it! also the words that are colored in red are on AO3 (archive of our own)
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ddejavvu · 2 years
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ddejavvu’s 4k celebration!!
4k!! omg!! thank you all so much!! you’re all so loved here, i hope you know that :D for this celebration, which will be six days long, i’ll be writing for a different fandom every two days. the first two days, 5/31-6/1, i’ll be writing exclusively for the marauders era. the second two days, 6/2-6/3, i’ll be writing exclusively for marvel characters. the last two days, 6/4-6/5, i’ll be writing exclusively for criminal minds characters! there will be separate posts coming out every two days so that you know what asks you can send in for each fandom, but I needed a general post. each post will be linked here as it’s out, and i hope you enjoy my 4k celebration!!
marauders post
marvel post
criminal minds post
moots tagged under cut (lmk if you don’t want to be tagged!)
@sunflowermotel @embrassemoi @burnthoneymint @dylwrites @padf00ts-l0ver @fairydxll @moonlitmeeks @mendesxruel @marvlspideys @aplaceofdreams @lust-n-infatuation @sunny-bunnny @spideyspeaches @bartxnhood @gxtitobxby @letterstotheflre @mystic-writings @celestialholland @parkerchaos @marveladdictt @stylesparker @dracodear @leydileyla @bellatrixscurls @morwap @saintlike78 @sincerelyaloha @sunshinexhotchner @sxfik @dr4cking @biderboy @moonbcrry @cupids-crystals @shyhotch @rupurts-morgue03 @samuel-de-champagne-problems @spencerreidat3am @tinyjuliet @justpeachyparker @tetsukentona @arsonhotchner @spencerreidat3am @gettingrailedbyreid @tinyjuliet @justpeachyparker 
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cl0udberries · 2 years
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𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙡 𝘾𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙐𝙣𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙚 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙋𝙩3 [𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱:𝟲𝗮𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗹𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]
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𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴! 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗺𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴! 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗺𝗰𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁. 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗽𝘁𝟭 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝘁𝟮 𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴!
𝗱𝗿𝘂𝗶𝗴 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿:
blood loss [fluff, tiny angst] @wtfobiwan
beautiful woman [fluff] @scarthefangirl
my forever valentine [fluff] @milkiane
staying in [fluff] @takenbypeter
i'm one lucky man [fluff] @magicalxdaydream
late night baking [fluff] @keziahwrites
our thing [fluff] @softie-rain
𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁 𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿:
be here [tiny angst, fluff] | surrender [angst, fluff] @javisjeanjacket
closer [fluff, tiny angst] @pickabetterusername
shut up and kiss me [fluff] | mini murdock [fluff] @leossmoonn
always be back [fluff, tiny angst] @hufflepuffs-and-hozier
not focusing [fluff] | smiling between kisses [fluff] @matt-erialgirl
sick day [fluff] @foxe
don't [tiny angst, fluff] @whiskey-bumblebee
losing time [fluff] | uncomfortable [fluff] @mlmxreader
skin [fluff] @pariahsparadise
redemption [fluff] @modern-vellichor
fight [fluff] @darling-i-read-it
study distractions [fluff] @tiredbeebo
the right words [fluff] @sarahisslytherin
i think i love you [fluff] | moving in [fluff] @multiharlot
migraine [tiny angst, fluff] @abelcross
𝗯𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘆 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿:
my girl [fluff] @cosmicloki
smile [fluff] @i-am-a-bad-influence-writes
hiding their face in the other's neck [fluff] @dailyreverie
𝘀𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿:
illustrate [fluff @earlgreydream
you forgot something [fluff] @mad-elia
dorm room [fluff] @buckyswintersoldiermask
𝗸𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗽 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿:
drawings [fluff] @emily0013
boyfriend, pt2 [fluff] @bishopfics
𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿:
crush [fluff, tiny angst] @lula-loves-life
dear mr. right [fluff] @rednights
caterpiller on a night walk [fluff] @eunoiathewriter
comfort [fluff] @steverogersenthusiast
𝗱𝗼𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿:
morning darling [fluff] @foxfics
"i hate you" "no you don't" [fluff] @dedeimagines
𝘁𝗮𝘀𝗺!𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿:
long day [tiny angst, fluff] @bartxnhood
pretty girl [fluff] @tomsparkyr
love love [fluff] @disartrous
crush [fluff] @ptersparkers
tulips to kiss you with [fluff] @scandalous-chaos
skateboards, the force, and a lack of pants [fluff] | i hate everyone but you [fluff] @damnedparker
musings on the guitar [fluff] @s-r-writes
puppy love [fluff] @the-amazing-simp
show me love [angst, fluff] @softtdaisy
tippy toes [fluff] @blooming-violets
just waiting on you [fluff] @buckybgal
three words [fluff] @wwinterwitch
first date [tiny angst, fluff] @luveline
keyboard clicks [fluff] @theonly1outof-a-billion
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stylesparker · 2 years
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stylesparker’s 1k celebration!!
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wow I couldn’t even tell you how grateful I really am. thank you to all of you lovely friends who have stuck around to watch me grow as a writer. even though I’m totally not consistent and might just drop off the face of the earth sometimes, to those who are here, who follow, or just stop by, I love you. I appreciate you. ❣️
This will go from March 15 - March 25!!
I write for tasm!peter and mcu characters.
🕷 send me a character and a prompt and I’ll write a short one-shot for it
🕸 send me a fic title and I’ll write a little something for what I think I’d write about it
🧳 send me a couple facts about yourself and I’ll match you up with a character and a trope
🧬 send me a song and I’ll match it up with a character i vision it with - maybe I’ll write a little scenario with it too
🛹 send me any fun tumblr games (like fmk or something) they’re so fun
📸 send me your fic and I’ll give it a review! (can be from marvel, star wars, or marauders)
tagging some lovely people for a mini boost (if you’d like to be taken off lmk!)
@chaoticparker @gotkindabored @agnesamarantheastwood @nexusspiders @fairydxll @parkerchaos @mendesxruel @bartxnhood @petcr3 @peterthepark @lupinbrekker @dracodear @samwlscns @marvelouspeterparker @marvlspideys
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bartxnhood · 1 month
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talk fast | c.t.h
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calum hood x fem!reader
summary: you both agreed to no strings attached, right?
warnings: oh boy tons of drinking (sorry), smoking, language, brief mentions of sexual activity (nothing explicit), and sexual innuendos.
w/c: 13k
a/n: hi my loves !! this one is a long time coming, i’ve been working on this since september. i started school in november which put a halt on all of my writing, but now that i graduated expect more from me. :). to all of my calum lovers, this one’s for you. p.s: if this does as well as i hope it does, i may consider making this a series on wattpad.
a/n pt.2: shout out everyone who helped my write this. esp @valentiyne you guys are amazing. 🩷
requests open
not proofread
Copyright © 2024 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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you weren't a stranger to relationships, and you'd had your fair share of them over the years. which you were aware that everyone else did, but you weren’t really serious about relationships. you didn't want to be with someone who didn't envision a future with you or who didn't share your goals.
your friends often told you that you should let loose and enjoy yourself, but that was not the life for you.
you had been in a very healthy relationship with someone you had known since college for the past few years. however, as time went, he became increasingly open about his needs for different things and eventually ended his relationship with you.
you went into a deep depression after the breakup, you didn't leave your apartment for weeks, you only showered maybe twice, and you couldn't remember the last time you ate anything other than instant noodles or ice cream.
what else could you do while you were wasting away? you had imagined spending the rest of your life with him, and now he’s gone.
your life seemed to change overnight.
while your friends and family around tried being there for you, you had pushed them so far away that they had just decided to give up on you. except, your best friend, olivia, finally dragged you out of your bed and forced you to shower so you could go out for the night with her.
“you need to get out, have fun, and forget about that jerk” she states, standing above you as she glides eyeliner on your eyes. “you’re hot, you’re fun, you have a great personality. i’m sure we can find you someone tonight!” she adds while finishing your makeup.
“olivia…” you sigh then look into the mirror, watching as your friend painted your face with a determined look in her eye. “no. we’re gonna have fun, we’re gonna party and get drunk. kay? you need this.” she grins, resting her head on your shoulder looking at you in the mirror. “now, go change into the outfit i brought you.”
"where are we going, anyway?" you ask, pulling at your skirt, which was riding up as you moved. you loved olivia, but some of her dress choices made you uncomfortable. "my brother got us into the pre-release party for the band five seconds of summer," she adds, gazing down at her phone for directions to the club, a hole in the wall on broadway. "what?!" you exclaim, your eyes widening. "how did he do that?" olivia laughs and clasps her arm around yours. "well, when you have a brother who manages a band, you kinda get vip treatment," she spoke with a grin. "plus, I told him how you've been feeling down, so he talked to the guys and they said it was fine," she chuckled softly, as the two of you continued your journey to the club.
the entry to the club was immediately visible due to the brilliant pink, purple, and red lights illuminating the street, as well as record posters in the windows. "this has to be it," olivia says as she opens the door for you, walking in after.
this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so you should be excited, right? but you couldn't shake the nagging guilt on the inside.
it’s okay to move on, right?
olivia leads you to the bar and orders a couple shots, "to your drop dead ex and a new beginning!" olivia cheers, toasting the glasses and the two of you downing the liquor.
you were about to start speaking when you were interrupted by olivia's brother, mark.
"it's been a long time, y/n!" he welcomes you with a shout. “how’s it going?” he asks, you see olivia roll her eyes and turn to her brother. “mark, we were having a conversation.” she states matter of a factly.
"i know, but I just wanted to introduce you to some of my buddies," the tall ginger says, stepping to the side and revealing four taller men. mark introduces them, "this is luke." he had blond curly hair, ocean blue eyes, and a white button-down shirt with the top button undone.
"michael," he said, his pink hair slicked to the side, a black snapback on, with a small wave of his hand in greeting. "ashton.” he had curly hair like luke, but it was fashioned in a 60’s greaser type of way, he smiled at you warmly, extending his hand for you to shake, the two of you nodding in acknowledgment of the other. "last- but not least, calum."
your gaze met his brown eyes, his chocolate curls resting just above his eyes as he looked you in the eyes. he was dressed in a white button-down shirt with black stripes that complemented his tanned and tattooed skin. he softly whispered "hi" as he squeezed his lips together in a smile. you smile back and nod. "hi.” calum's gaze lingers longer than he would have preferred, but he couldn't help himself. no way, not with you dressed like that. the way the black skirt clung to your hips and the dark blue halter top left nothing for the imagination
“guys this is my sister, olivia, and her friend, y/n.” mark says, pointing to the two of you, bringing calum out of his daydream. “nice to meet you guys” you say, offering a warm smile and they all nod to you. “are you staying for the show?” ashton inquired, olivia nods. “of course we are! wouldn’t miss it for a thing.” she gently nudges your arm, you laugh softly and nod.
"great, can't wait for you all to hear the album," ashton says, as the other three nod in agreement. "well, I have to get them backstage, but I'll see you later, okay?" mark replies, and you and olivia nod as the group disappears into the busy room.
as the show began, olivia tugged you closer to the stage, two rows back. the lights dimmed and you heard a huge cheer from the audience as the four boys you had just met took the stage.
your gaze was drawn to calum, who seemed engrossed with the music. how he made it appear so easy while looking so nice. you kept an eye on him for the majority of the night, but your mind was elsewhere.
you had found your way to the bar after the show had concluded; it was a terrific show, as expected, but seeing the band live was a weird experience, and you just couldn't enjoy yourself given your circumstances.
you found yourself reminiscing on your relationship during songs like "lie to me" and "why won't you love me," wondering whether you would have said something different or been more open to him. maybe you’d still be together.
you finish the drink you ordered and search the crowd for your best friend, but when you can't find her, you return your attention to the empty glass in front of you watching it being filled.
"was our stage set really that bad?" when you hear a voice, you quickly look up to find the person who is speaking. "i saw you, you seemed unhappy," calum adds, leaning on the bar. you shook your head and let out a breathless laugh. "no, it was actually very good," you say with a smile.
calum's gaze lingered, he leaned forward. "but? you were definitely not having a good time." you shrug and allow the bartender to refill your drink. "well, i got dumped not too long ago." "so", you trail off, messing with the glass in your hand.
"just not in the mood for a party, i guess," you shrug, and you hear calum hum. he switches his weight from one leg to the other. "actually, you looked pretty hot on stage," you cover your mouth and widen your eyes. "oh my goodness...i." you can't help but giggle, "i'm so sorry," you shake your head, and then gulp the last of the drink in the hopes that it will provide you with some liquid courage.
"you think I'm ‘pretty hot’?" he asks, his brow furrowed and his tongue protruding from the inside of his cheek. "no..i.." you sigh, removing some of your hair from your face. calum chuckles "no, no. you said it, you think I'm hot," he says in a teasing manner, crossing his arms with a quirked eyebrow.
calum would be lying if he said he didn’t think you were attractive as well. he had been eyeing you all night and figured, why not have some fun?
“what are you doing after this?” he asks, stepping a tad closer to you. now, he was just a few inches from your side and you caught wind of his cologne. you look down at the empty glass again, wondering what you’d say. you knew what he meant, and you had never done anything of the sort.
“well that depends” you answer, looking up from the glass and letting your eyes meet his. “well, i was kinda hoping you’d want to leave here with me” calum suggests with a smirk. you smile, figuring you could let lose for one night. “sounds great.”
it was just one night..right?
your eyelids flutter open, and you immediately feel a piercing pain in your temple. you groan silently and look about until you realize you're not in your bedroom when you peek over your shoulder, you notice a figure.
he was facing you, on his side. his curls were brushed back, his lips were slightly parted, and his arm was resting on your waist.
"oh, shit.." you think as you sit up against his headboard, drawing the loose sheet closer to your chest. your mind is filled with images from the previous night. meeting him, and then their brief talk in the bar. you rubbed your temples, still reeling from what you'd done.
you had slept with calum hood.
you had to get out of there because you couldn't believe what you'd done. you were never the type to do something like that. you attempted to remove the sheet so you could hurry up and put on your clothes from the night before and go home. however, while you were doing so, calum's arm gently tugged on your waist. "stay.."
when you looked at him, his eyes were still closed. you didn't move, feeling frozen as your gaze landed on the arm that framed your waist. you couldnt lie, calum was very attractive.
eventually, you finally managed to break free from his touch, and you threw on your clothing while searching for your phone and handbag. you discreetly opened and closed the door, making your way through the house to the front entrance.
you come to a halt as you pick up your shoes, pondering whether or not to leave your phone number for him. but you tell yourself that you'll never see him again, opening the door and walking out.
you order a lift home and finally check at your phone's alerts. olivia left almost twenty messages and made thirty phone calls. you tell her you're okay and on your way home.
you opened your front door to find olivia racing towards you. "where the hell were you?!" she exclaims, her eyes wide open. you hush her with a "shh," dropping your shoes beside the door. "i texted and called you!" "i know, i know," you remark as you pass by her to your room. "you can't just leave like that!" she exclaims as she follows you.
"olivia.." you sigh and stand in your bathroom, removing the last of your makeup from the night before. "i'm sorry okay, i was drunk and he was right there in front of me." "who?" she asks as she leans against the doorway. "calum.."
there was radio silence for a split second before you glanced to olivia, who erupted. "you slept with calum hood!?!" she exclaims, lunging for your arm. "calum hood?!? the one from five seconds of summer?" you closed your eyes, your head still throbbing, and her ranting only made matters worse. "okay, yes? i was drunk, and he came up to me for a moment...and the following thing led to another..."
"you slept with calum!!!" the ginger laughs as she claps her hands and softly jumps up and down. "oh my god!! my y/n is getting some!" you groan, throwing away the makeup wipe while moving past her. "oh, god. ew!" you exclaim as you enter your bedroom in quest of your pajamas. "tell me everything!" she says as she sits on your bed. "uh..no.." you say as you begin to change.
"just...leave it, im not going to see him again," you say as you brush your hair after changing. "what?! didn't you leave your phone number or something?" "no, olivia, it was just one night," you shake your head. i don't plan to see him again, okay?" you reinstate by placing the brush on the dresser. "ugh, you're no fun!"
"you should be happy about this, you're one step closer to moving on from your asshole ex-boyfriend!" exclaims olivia. you take a step out of your bedroom, looking over your shoulder at your ginger friend. you smile sadly, "i don't think I'll ever be able to get over him."
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"we are going to be late!" olivia yells as she tugs you out of bed. "i don't want to go," you protest, but the ginger pushes you into the bathroom. "get yourself ready and meet me outside, okay?" she smiles and goes away.
you sighed as you stood in front of your mirror and went about your business. wash your face, then apply skincare, makeup, hair, and finally your clothes. this consisted of a cropped white shirt, a black skirt, and boots. for the nightlife scene, this was your typical go-to.
you grab a leather jacket and your money on your way out the door to meet with olivia. “great, you're done!" she grins and grabs your arm. "and looking as hot as ever," you sigh, "i wear this every time we go out, olivia. this isn't anything new." you explain, and the two of you start walking up to the bar. "yes, but being single looks good on you... you look happier." she beams. you shrug and continue going, laughing as you say, "whatever you say."
you two arrived at the bar, which was already quite crowded with people you knew, and said your 'hi's and 'hello's' as you walked through the crowd to reach your normal friend group. this was a birthday party for one of your mutual friends; you were invited because you knew a few people there, but you didn't intend to stay long. after only a few drinks, you were dipping.
"hey, i'm going to get a drink, do you want anything?" you ask olivia, who was in the midst of a conversation. "um, no, i'm good for now," the redhead responds softly. you nod and turn around, headed for the bar.
you take a seat on a bar stool and order your usual, then pull out your phone and scroll for a few minutes as you wait for your drink.
"fancy seeing you here," you hear from behind you. when you turn around, a familiar face greets you.
calum hood.
you gaze at him for a time, blinking slowly, wondering why the hell he was at this party in the first place. how did he know your friend group?
"what? like what you see?" he laughs and walks up to the stool next to you. you discreetly giggle, rolling your eyes as you notice your drink in front of you. "you're full of yourself, calum," you say as you sip your drink. "well, you weren't thinking that when you were in my bed a few nights ago, were you?" he says, lifting his eyebrows as he speaks, attempting to elicit a reaction from you.
"oh god.." you mutter. calum follows you as you push yourself off the stool and onto the club floor. "come on, I was joking." when you hear his remarks, you shake your head and spin around to tell him off, but you freeze when you realize how close he is.
calum gazed back at you, his chocolate eyes piercing into yours. the way his wavy hair fell just above his eyes. you couldn't think straight when he was wearing a tight-fitting black t-shirt that emphasized his muscles- or how nice he looked in those black plaid pants.
calum hood was fine, and he knew it.
"you're a jerk," you reply, eventually jerking out of your daydream. as he steps closer, you can smell the tequila dripping from his breath. "oh yeah?" you say, nodding, "yeah." "well, you won't be saying that when you're in my bed again."
as you stare into his eyes, your grasp on your cup tightens. you couldn't take your eyes off him.
"fuck you."
he takes pleasure in your reply and leans in, his face right up against yours, whispering, "maybe later, sweets." then calum walks away, leaving you on the dance floor.
you find yourself back with olivia and your group of friends, scarfing down the drink knowing you needed to be intoxicated for the night ahead of you.
"i saw that," she says, as the two of you sway to the music. "what?" you inquire, attempting to appear clueless. "calum hood, hitting on you!!" she rolls her eyes. she giggles and pokes at your side. "no, it was nothing," you promise, moving her arm away. "whatever you say," she sings.
while you were on the dance floor with your friends, you were pretty intoxicated, and you knew he was watching you. you tried to ignore the sense of his eyes burning holes in the back of your skull. he observed your hips swaying to the music and the way your hair layed against your skin. It was driving him crazy.
flashes of you in his bed, your skin gleaming with sweat, the softness of your lips against his, or the touch of your nails on his back that sent thrills down his spine.
normally, he would never return to someone with whom he had a one-night encounter, but he couldn't get enough of you. he hasn't stopped thinking about you since that night.
you'd had enough of his glances and decided it was time to face him.
"stop" you say as you approach him. he blinks and asks, "what?." you sigh and roll your eyes. "i know you're staring, stop it." calum laughs and sets his drink on the bar. "i don't know what you're talking about, pretty." you sigh and rub your temples. "don't act innocent, i saw you." you say. he shrugs and leans forward. "oh, I'll show you innocent"
"calum, we can't do this," you say, looking him in the eyes. “It was only once." you say, as if attempting to persuade yourself. "oh, yeah?" you cross your arms and nod. "because it seems you don't believe that." calum retorts, his hand coming to rest on your hip.
as he moves in closer, you catch the scent of his cologne combined with the booze on his breath, which sends a shudder down your spine. you see flashes of his figure hanging over you from a few nights before. you couldn't possibly lie to yourself because you think about it every day.
"i know you want me.. i see the way you look at me," he continues. "come on, let's have some fun." his thumb was tracing circles on the fabric of your skirt.
you look into his eyes, your stomach flipping. you didn't want to give in, you didn't want to become someone you weren't. but that was calum fucking hood, and you couldn't resist him when he looked at you like that. "fuck it," you state.
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you gaze at the sleeping figure beside you, his breathing calm and steady. you couldn't help but feel bad, so you told yourself you wouldn't hook up with him again. you told yourself you'd never see him again. he was a celebrity, and you were just a city dweller who happened to get caught up with him.
you lie there for a moment, admiring calum. how could someone look so lovely while sleeping? you yank the covers off your legs and frantically dress to leave him yet again.
you collect your shoes at the exit, stand for a moment debating whether or not to leave your number, but you decide not to because this is the last time you'll see him…
right?
from that night forward, you felt like the universe was messing with you because calum appeared to be at every party, club, or bar you went to. he'd approach you as if nothing was going to happen, as if he was teasing you in some way- but it always happened.
those nights, you'd always end up in his bed, never yours.
you couldn't help yourself; no matter how hard you tried to pretend you despised him, you couldn't keep the mask up because you always caved and went home with him.
it became a habit; you'd go out with friends or by yourself, secretly hoping calum would appear in some way.
some nights, you weren't even there to drink, just to be there.
it was the same thing every time: you'd pretend to despise him because a small part of you wanted a serious relationship yet couldn't get enough of him. he made you feel alive. your ex never made you feel that way. the only person who ever made you feel *loved* was calum. you both knew it was only for fun, but it made you wonder if it might ever turn into anything more. you were always silently wishing you had left your phone number all those times, wondering if he would have called or texted you.
plus, you were aware that your friends, particularly olivia, were becoming suspicious. you had recovered quickly from your split following that first night with calum. she knew you’d leave with him at those gatherings but she didn’t stop it because you seemed to be doing better and you were a lot happier.
so far, calum was treating you right. at least, when the two of you were hooking up. so she never made any effort to stop what was happening.
for what felt like the hundredth time, you were back in his bed. instead of looking at him, you've turned your gaze to the ceiling. you know you should leave because it's about noon and you need to get home because you have plans with olivia later that day. you groan, running your hands over your face before getting out of bed and hunting for your clothing, all scattered along the floor.
"since you obviously don't want to stay," he spoke suddenly, causing you to pause in the middle of putting your shirt back on. calum raises up to rest on his elbows as your head spins around. "how about we just agree that this is a no-strings-attached situation," he suggested. you finish putting on your shirt and take your place at the foot of the bed. "calum.." you sigh,rubbing your eyes.
"y/n, just listen and consider it. we can keep doing what we're doing without making any commitments."
you stare at him, his hair was messy, he wasn't wearing a shirt, and you couldn't help but admire his physique. you lean down to grab your shorts, responding while you did so, "i'll think about it," before throwing on the rest of your clothes and leaving his bedroom. as you close the door behind you, you hear him sigh.
your hand was on the doorknob as you stood at the door, but you stopped yourself from opening it. you hated yourself as you reached into your bag for a pen and a random scrap of paper to jot down your phone number. you retrace your steps and leave it on his kitchen island. then you disappear from his home once again.
you unlock your apartment door and walk in, closing it behind you. you enter the kitchen, putting your bag on the counter and grabbing a water bottle.
"where have you been?" you jump out of your skin when you see olivia behind the refrigerator door. "what the hell, olivia!" you exclaim, nearly spilling the bottle. she's standing with her arms crossed with an intense stare. "did you hook up with him again?"
you move out of the kitchen and into your room, closing the fridge. "no, I don't know who you're talking about." you respond, but olivia isn't having it. "stop lying. you were with him last night and the nights before." "so?" you grumble.
"so?!", she exclaimed, you can't tell if she's really mad at you or just acting this way, she repeats. "you're having an fling with a celebrity! you have a habit of hooking up with him. surely something has to be there." she follows you to your room, standing in your doorway as she questions you.
"it's nothing, olivia. we just happen to be at the same location at the same time. okay?" you explain while looking for some clothes to change into.
"i call bullshit. you were never like this, until you met him." she continues, making you sigh. "it's just a distraction, okay?"
"I just...I don't know," you shrug, unable to express your feelings. "i'll meet you later, okay?" you turn away from her.
"actually…i have a date tonight," olivia confessed. "im sorry, but i'll have to cancel." she frowned. "that's fine," you say sympathetically over your shoulder. “have fun, and please text me when you get home, okay?" olivia nods, singing, "i will, love you hot stuff" she passes by you to leave your shared apartment.
you're sitting on your sofa with a container of leftover takeout from a few nights ago after freshening up. olivia had somehow gotten you hooked on a cringe-worthy television show.
you were already two seasons in and couldn't recall a single episode. calum had made your memory fuzzy. you couldn't get him off your mind. you remained curious about what he was doing when you left. did he think of you the way you thought of him? did he ever wonder what you did when he wasn't there? though you convinced yourself you were just being delusional.
…right?
calum glances at the scrap of paper on his kitchen counter, his fingers tapping near his phone, unsure whether to wait to message you. calum was well aware that what he was doing was probably not wise. because, after all, hooking up with you was just for fun, right? so why was it so difficult for him not to think about you? why were you so difficult for him to forget? it was just intended to be once, but now calum thinks about you whenever he gets the chance.
calum sighs, picks up his phone, and starts punching in your phone number. he has no idea what he's doing, but he doesn't stop himself from sending you a message.
- ‘hey, it’s calum’
you're standing in the kitchen right now, washing your hands, when your phone dings. your heart sunk as you looked over and said the message. you swiftly withdraw your hands from the sink, grab a towel, and dry them.
you take out your phone and read his message. You stare at it for a moment, unable to believe he actually messaged you.
-‘hey’
you respond as you stroll over to your sofa and sit on the cushions. you weren't anticipating anything from him because he'd practically established that the two of you were only in it for the fun of it and that was it. no strings attached. you don't hear from him again for the time being.
you're disappointed, but you return your focus to the television, hoping to forget about the singer on your mind.
you haven't heard from olivia in hours; she should've been home by now, but you guess she went to the guy's place she was seeing.
you get up from the sofa and grab your phone; all of your anxiety fades as you open your phone to calums' contact information and call him.
It rang several times before he answered. “hello?”
“hey, calum sorry if i’m bothering you”
“no, you’re good. what’s up?”
“i was just wondering if uh…if you’d want to hang out?”
"what do you have in mind?"
you laugh, "not like that"
you can hear him laugh in amusement, “sorry- yeah, sure. there’s actually this party tonight and i wasn’t going to go since i didn’t have anyone to go with. would you be down for that?”
you pause for a moment, picking at your fingers. “sure! that sounds great” you answer.
“nice, i’ll send you the address to ashton’s place and i’ll meet you there. see you tonight, sweets.”
you arrive at ashton's house, sitting in your car for a few minutes as you ran your options through your head. ‘was this a smart decision? were you planning to do this?’ you groan, taking your phone, and bag then exiting the car, heels clicking as you approached the entrance.
when you opened the door, you were greeted by the smell of alcohol and loud music. you stroll past the crowd near the entryway and start looking for the person you came here to see.
you notice him in the kitchen with his bandmates, he noticed you as well. with a tiny smile on his lips, he motions you over to the group.
"hey," you speak softly now that you're standing close to him. "hi," he greets, unconsciously placing his hand on the small of your back. "guys, i'm not sure if you remember, but this is y/n," he reminds before re-introducing you to the rest of the band.
"are you mark's sister's friend?" michael interjects, you nod. "yeah! i was the one in the blue top that night," you smile, everyone nods in acknowledgment. "well, i'm glad you could make it, if you need anything just let me know." "thank you," you nod nervously, then glance up to calum.
he offers to take you around and introduce you to some people to make you feel more at ease.
"i'm going to get something to drink, you want anything?" you make the offer to calum, who is seated on the sofa, he responds with a simple, "sure." you nod, heading to the kitchen by yourself, leaving calum with his buddies.
"how long have you two been together?" someone seated next to calum asked, he turns to see it was ashton's girlfriend. "oh, no- we aren't together." he responds, but her reply is unexpected. "are you serious?" she asks, calum nods. "no way," she whispered, astonished as she takes a sip from the crimson solo cup. "what?" calum questions.
"there's no way you two aren't together," she says again, "the way you look at her. i'm not sure what the two of you are up to, but you should figure it out," she concludes, chuckling. calum simply stares at her, her attention drawing elsewhere.
he thought about what she said the entire time you were gone. did he actually act that way? did he treat you as though you were his girlfriend? did he look at you in a way that suggested you two were dating? no… you two were just hooking up. nothing else.
he had no idea you were back until you spoke up. "here.." you offer, handing him the drink. calum looks up takes the drink you offered, "thank you sweetheart" "anytime, sugar" you chuckle and go for a seat, but all of them are taken… okay, so you would just stand up for the time being. when calum notices this, he reaches for your waist and pulls you down onto his lap. you look down at him, confused, “what are you doing?” he looks up at you with those eyes.
those big brown eyes that made you feel as if you were on cloud nine. calum looked at you like you were the only girl in the universe.
at least, that’s what you told yourself.
“i’m not just gonna let you stand there.” he answered with a cheeky smile.
people started to leave after a few hours. you were still sitting on calum's lap as everyone else congregated in the living room, talking about whatever and playing drinking games.
you get up from the calum's lap, leaving your drink behind to walk to the restroom down the hall. you approach and knock, hearing someone in there. you stand a few steps away from the door and pull out your phone to pass the time.
after a few minutes, calum finds you. leaning his arms against the wall, effectively caging you between his arms as he stands in front of you. "whatcha doing?" he demands, boxing you in and staring at you. "I'm waiting for the bathroom," you say, glancing up at him.
"you know..." calum pauses, coming in closer. "my house isn't too far from here, and i have a bathroom..so..you can just use it there," you sneer at his offer, "how convenient.." you respond, just above a whisper.
you push yourself off the wall and past calum, leaving him speechless. "where are you going?" he asks, his arms at his sides. "your place. you coming or not?" you grin as you peer over your shoulder.
calum chuckles quietly as he approaches you and wraps his arm around your waist. he was nearly dragging you to the door. "sorry guys, we have to run!" he grabs your bag, carrying it for you before dashing out the door with you.
the others could only chuckle to themselves and smile knowingly as the two of you dashed away.
you're back in his bed, and you know it before you open your eyes. the smell of his bedsheets let you know you were back. the warm vanilla smell invaded your nostrils as you stretched and opened your eyes to find yourself staring at a familiar ceiling. you check over your shoulder for calum's sleeping figure, but he's not there.
you carefully sit up, bringing the sheet along to cover your chest and rubbing your eyes with your other hand. only then do you spew calum standing at the doorway wearing only basketball shorts. "good morning, princess," he says, and you groan, feeling a headache coming on. "i'm making breakfast if you want to stay," he says before walking out the door. you sigh as you get out of his bed and seek for your clothes before leaving his room for the kitchen.
you notice pancakes and fruit on a plate waiting for you. as he stands and consumes his food, you take a seat at the kitchen island. It's quiet for a few minutes before he speaks up.
"so i was thinking.." calum begins. you raise your head to look at him. "i know we said no strings attached but what if we expand the deal?" you lift your brows, confused as to what he was on about. "what do you mean?" you inquire. "at parties, we could be each other's automatic plus one. that way, we won't have to worry about who we go home with." you look up at him, then down at your plate, shifting some of the food about.
"i don't know, calum." you let out a sigh. you want to say yes, and you want to be around him at all times- but you just can’t confess it. "i'm just tired of being ditched by the guys at events, and i wouldn't mind if you were the one to fill that spot," you gaze up, your eyes meeting his. "okay...i'm down," you nod, and calum smiles. "great."
you continue eating as silence fills the room, you don’t really know how to keep a conversation with him since you two only hung out at parties. “when’s your birthday?” he asks. you chuckle, “what happened to no strings attached?” you ask, taking a drink of your water. “well, we can be friends with benefits. friends can know things about each other” he rebuttals. you look at him, finally caving. “y/bd” you answer, calum nods. “that’s coming up” you shrug, “its a couple months. what about you?”
“january 25th” he answers. “happy belated birthday” you reply and he laughs. “so you do have a heart.” you rolls your eyes, “oh whatever.” you can’t help but crack a smile.
calum admires you, how you still manage to look beautiful even in the makeup from the night prior and your hair is a mess. calum wants to be your friend, he wants to know stuff about you other than how you are in bed. he looks down at his plate, knowing he shouldn’t be thinking of you as anything for than his fuck buddy.
“what’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”
you think for a moment, your free hand is now supporting the weight of your chin. “hmm..i’ve always wanted like a big birthday bash.” you answer, “but i just never had the opportunity or people to go with” you add. he nodded, making a mental note.
———
calum proceeds to ask you out every other night, claiming that he doesn't want to be alone. of course, you went, but it simply muddled your sentiments for him. because he made it apparent that you were just friends.
so what was it about him holding your hand at parties that got you so worked up? or when he'd hold your back as you walked through a crowd of people. you'd have to convince yourself to stop staring at him for so long before anyone noticed.
you opted to see someone else on the side in the hopes of sorting out your feelings because the only reason you had feelings for calum was because he was the only person you had been seeing this much, right? furthermore, calum had made it obvious that there were no strings attached.
"hello?" you answer the phone as you go inside your apartment after getting home from work. "hey! "I'm sorry if i'm bothering you," calum says over the phone. "no, i just got home from work. you're fine!”
“how are you?" you ask, placing your keys on the table.
"i was just wondering if you're free tonight?" he inquires. you sigh and open your refrigerator to see if you have any snacks. "um, actually i was going out with a friend tonight…" you speak, and on the other end you hear him sigh, "okay! if your plans fall through, let me know." you smile to yourself, "of course," and it gets silent for a bit as the two of you are at a loss for words, "well, i'll let you get ready then..." "alright...bye..." you say as you pull the phone away from your ear and finish the call.
calum sighs as he tosses his phone to the opposite end of the sofa and rests his head back. he knows that he should not be disappointed; you have your own life, and calum was only a little part of it, just as he had his own life but knowing he wouldn't be able to see you tonight hurt. so, instead of moping about, he decided to ask his bandmates if they wanted to hang out for the night.
however, the night was uneventful; luke had met a girl, michael was conversing with someone, and calum was left alone with ashton.
"isn't that the girl you're seeing?" ashton says unexpectedly, motioning towards you at the bar. calum looks over his shoulder and sees you talking with a guy.
calum is hurt, but he turns around and shrugs as he faces ashton. "we're not seeing each other, i don't like her like that," ashton chuckles as he sips his drink, "sure you don't," calum moans, "mate, cmon.."
“you’re lying to yourself, mate. maybe you don't say you like her, but your eyes say everything." ashton spoke, calum knew it was true. he did like you, but he was unsure if you even considered him more than someone just to hook up with. you had been giving him mixed signals, because one night you were all about him but the next day you wanted nothing to do with him.
calum peers over his shoulder once more, this time observing that the guy that was now touching you, his hand on your leg, inching higher and higher. calum considers ashton's words and walks away from the table he was at towards you.
the way he felt was enough confirmation for his feelings for you. he wanted to be more than just a friend you sleep with. he wants to the be the person you come to during your darkest times, he wants to know your favorite songs, he wants to know your favorite movies, food, candy, animal, he wants to be your person.
“so when were you going to introduce me to your friend?” your head whips around to find calum standing behind the bar stool you sat at. “calum?” you blink before turning back to your date who had now removed his hand from your thigh. “you know him?” the man questions, eyeing calum.
“uh…he’s just my-“ calum cuts you off, “boyfriend” he finishes for you. your eyes go wide looking at calum again, you were about to open your mouth but calum beat you to it. “and we should be heading back now” he reaches for your waist, grabbing your purse and escorting you out of the bar.
"what the hell!?" you yell outside the bar, shoving him away from you. "you can't do that, calum! we're not exclusive, we are not dating; we're just friends who occasionally hook up" you hear calum chuckle and it sends you over the edge.
you huff and begin to walk away, but calum follows you and drapes his arm over your shoulder.
"youre mine and i don't share"
"where are you taking me?" calum walks next to you, instinctively leading you to his car. "home," he says, unlocking his car door and allowing you to enter before closing it and walking to the driver's side.
within a few minutes, you realize he's heading in the opposite way. "calum this isn't the way to to my place" you're saying. "I know," he replies, looking over at you. "i never said which home"
‘get ready, im coming over’
calum takes out his phone. he thinks nothing of the message you just sent him, presuming you're coming over to visit him. however, when you came and kept honking the car horn for him to come outside he was a bit thrown off.
when calum walks outside, he puts his phone and wallet in his pocket while walking over to your car. as you roll down your window, he leans in. "get in, we're going shopping," you say, music still playing and a smile on your face.
"why exactly do you need me for this?" calum inquires, his brow furrowed. you reply, "well considering you'll be the one taking it off i figured you might want to help me pick out something" while grinning. despite his flushed cheeks, calum takes a step back, unlocks the car door, and hops inside.
you took calum to the mall and modeled for nearly two hours while looking for the right outfit for your birthday. it had been two hours of no success until one of the last stores you visited had this leather skirt you had been eyeing for a while.
calum couldn't take his eyes off of your body when you emerged from the dressing room. both the halter top you chose and the skirt perfectly complemented one other. you drawled, "sooo?" hoping for a positive response. he answers right away, "yes." when you looked down at yourself, he speaks up again. “that’s the one, you have to get it.” and you couldn't help but laugh. you nod and examine yourself in the mirror before returning to the dressing room to change into your clothing so you could check out.
you happen to pass a leather jacket on your way to the register. and it just so happens to go well with the skirt. additionally, you observe that calum is examining it longer than anything else you have so added in the store. you made the choice to pick it up, do your best to estimate his size, and continue moving forward to pay.
on the way back to your place you pick up takeout since it was getting late in the evening and you both were starving.
when the two of your arrive home, you get comfortable on the sofa and begin picking out a movie while calum is in the kitchen sorting out the food before bringing it all into the living room. you picked out a movie and the two of you eat in peace, enjoying each others company.
afterwards, you had started cleaning up all the empty containers and throwing it away with the help of calum.
“will you put the skirt on again? i forgot what it looks like” calums asks and you laughed, looking over your shoulder. “seriously?” he nods. you pause for a moment before rolling your eyes and sigh, “fine.”
you walk out of your bedroom in the skirt but you hid something behind your back, looking a bit shy. which was unusual because you never acted like this around calum, so he knew something was up. “y/n, what’s behind your back?” he asks in a teasing tone and you begin walking towards him slowly. “okay, so, don’t be mad but i may have picked you up something too..”
she grins bringing the jacket from behind her and handing it towards him.
“i—y/n/n please tell me you didn’t buy this leather jacket for me” you take a few steps forward. “i’ve never heard you say please before. this is new.” you say, smirking. calums rolls his eyes but he can’t help but smile and you continue, “but yes i did. i saw you eyeing it so i grabbed it”
he tries to hide his smile. “well go on, put it on” you help him into the jacket and it’s then when he notices. “did you get this so we could match?” he says laughing. “no i absolutely did not! i just wanted to do something nice for you” he quickly responds “you didn’t have to go through the trouble of getting more clothes sweetheart. taking some off would’ve had the same effect” he chuckles. you playfully hit his chest and say “you’re insufferable.” you look away but then looks back smiling.
“but yeah maybe i wanted us to match a little bit. sue me” he grabs your waist and pulls your closer, you feel his thumb drawing circles on your exposed skin and it sends shivers down your spine. “well i certainly appreciate the thought, sweets. now we just need an occasion to show up everyone” calum teases, leaning in. his lips only inches from yours, you feel your cheeks warm up. “calum..” you warn but he continues to close the space between the two of you. “it’s just one kiss..”
you hate your birthday, it was the one day of the year you always found yourself to be the most miserable despite having people who loved you around. you still felt so unhappy.
“y/n, are you ready? you can’t be late to your own party!” olivia calls out from the living room. you exit your bedroom, meeting her in the room. “i’m ready, im ready” you say, throwing your bag on your shoulder. “y/n..” you hear olivia sigh, she takes a few steps towards you and puts her hands on your shoulder.
“lighten up. i know you hate your birthday but this year im not
letting you be miserable. kay?” she gently shakes you enough for you to crack a smile and nod, “good” she says, linking her arm with yours.
“now let’s go before people think you bailed your own birthday party.”
the two of you arrive to the same club where you had first met calum yet this time, the atmosphere was different.
no purple, pink, or red lights. no promotional posters in the windows. instead, you see white paper decorations and warm fairy lights.
you enter the bar in front of olivia and hear a loud uproar of people cheering as you did and some people even popping confetti. you couldn’t help but laugh as you walked through the crowd, seeing all of your close friends standing around celebrating you.
olivia was also giddy, knowing she had planned this whole thing along with calum.
“you guys didn’t have to do this!” you said over the music after you saw the cake sitting in the middle of the room, you’re beaming with joy. for the first time in a long time you were excited to be celebrating your birthday.
you spent time greeting people and thanking them.
some of these people you haven’t seen in years and it made you feel like things were finally getting better.
just as you were about to catch up with some old friends, the lights dimmed and you heard some light strumming from the nearby stage.
you look over seeing four familiar figures underneath the red stage lights.
“hello everyone,” luke begins, adjusting the mic. “if you all don’t know, we are five seconds of summer” the crowd roars at the name drop and some people are playfully hitting your shoulder not knowing your tied with the band.
“we just wanted to say we are truly honored to be back at the place we showcased our recent album, and of course to celebrate the birthday girls special day.” .
“so, happy birthday, y/n. we hope you have a wonderful year.” luke beamed.
the set was at least forty-five minutes long, they had played mostly their new stuff off the youngblood album but dropped in a few older songs.
you were over the moon.
to say you had five seconds of summer perform at your birthday party? that’s huge.
you never thought you’d end up in this position.
to say you had personal connections to people as big as calum, or even the whole band for that matter.
tonight was a night you’d definitely never forget.
standing outside the club, you watch the people inside dance and get lost in each other. the whole scene was almost melancholy- the way everyone was there to celebrate you. the night was near ending and you felt so cramped in there, you thought you'd spend the last few hours of your birthday catching your breath.
"hey you" calum voice interrupts your thoughts, a cigarette between his fingers as he watches you from a close enough distance. you furrow your brows, "didn't know you smoked"
he quickly flicks it to the floor, stepping on it a few times before picking up the trash.
"Is it a turn off?"
"no no i just didn't know" you shrug and look back up at the sky, "i don't think i know anything about you aside from you're good in bed and you like whiskey" he chuckles now, stepping closer to you and placing his hands on your waist.
"well, ask me anything you want"
you watch as he looks away for a moment, searching for the perfect question.
"if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"
your eyes don't leave the sky as you think, long and hard about the question. "i’d love to see paris... it's been my dream since i was a child."
you could feel his hands loosen from your waist, he steps infront of you and stared down at your face with a smile. It's almost like he's thinking of what to do or what to say next.
“paris?” he repeats.
you nod, tilting your head to the side, studying him. "what about you?"
calum had now completely removed his arm from your waist as he leans down to rest his elbows on the metal railing.
“considering i’ve toured around the world, ive been to plenty of amazing places” he says, looking back to see if you were looking at him.
“i don’t have just one, too many places, not enough time to explore” he answered.
you nod, looking away towards the city. the nightlife in downtown los angeles was a lot lively than normal.
probably because your birthday fell on a friday this year, so all of the bars were jam packed and faint music flooded the streets.
you inhale, about to say something as your turn your attention back towards the brunette.
“y/n! cmon!” olivia grabs your wrist pulling you inside and away from calum, towards the large cake so you could blow out the candles.
“come on birthday girl, make a wish!” olivia cheers along with everyone standing around. you laugh, “okay okay!”. you blow out the candles and everyone begins to cheer. olivia hugs your side and giggles, “what did you wish for?” she asks. you grin petting her head, “if i tell you it won’t come true, will it?” your eyes flicker between calum and olivia as you speak.
you hear olivia groan in annoyance. someone amongst the crowd, you guess ashton, you could recognize that arm anywhere, points to the cake and says, "birthday girl gets first pick!"
you finally see his figure merge from behind someone with a plastic plate and knife. "what piece does my girl want?" ashton continues.
you examine the cake once more and point to a corner piece smothered in the purple icing with a kiddish like grin on your face. ashton's nods and begins to cut you a piece.
as it nears the end of the night and the bar slowly begins to empty out, you've found yourself at the bar watching everyone says their goodbye and share a hug with you before leaving the building.
the music was faintly playing now, compared to when you had arrived eariler.
solo cups trashed the floor, paper plates and napkins scattered the bar table. you look down at the glass setting in front of you as you swirl around the liquid contents. you didn’t even notice calum approaching.
“how was your birthday?” he hums, sitting next to you.
“good” you smile, resting your head on your hand. “tonight was good. you did great on stage.”
“yeah?” calum raises his eyebrows, you see a playful smirk forming on his lips. “mhm, very rockstar.”
calum laughs at your comment and then the two of you fall silent, watching as some people begin cleaning up the mess.
“can i talk to you?” calum questions, turning his focus back to you.
you nod, “yeah, of course”
“in private.” he adds.
you raise your eyebrows , wondering what he needs to say that he can’t in front of your friends.
“sure”
calum takes your hand and leads you towards the back door, which you had no idea was back here.
when he opens it, you see a patio with a string of fairy lights surrounding the area.
“you’re going to think i was stalking you or something, but this just happened by chance. i swear.” calum stands you in front of him as he reaches in his back pocket and hands you a plane ticket.
“we’ll be in paris on the first leg of our tour and i had an extra ticket.” he stated. you look up at him wide eyed, then do a double take to make sure you were seeing it right. “calum..what? i…i just i can’t just-“
“i want you there.” he adds.
“i want you in paris with me, hell- i want you on the whole tour with me. please, take it” he offers it to you again, making you take it.
“oh my god” you mutter, looking down at the ticket now in your hand.
“the flight is in two days, i know it’s hella last minute but i figured its now or never” calum speaks softly.
you’re still at a loss for words, your body working faster than your mind as your wrap your arms around calums figure. “thank you so much” you say into his shoulder.
“anytime” he hums, hugging you back.
“cmon cal! we gotta head back.” michael can be heard from the bar.
the australian pulls away and offers a warm smile, “see you in paris..” he says and walks off. “bye..”
you’re quick to whip your phone out and text olivia before heading back to your apartment partment
“youll never believe what just happened”
“is this a good or bad thing”
“uhh good? i think? i hope so”
“well dont leave me in the dark what happened”
“calum gave me a ticket to paris” “WHAT, Y/N THATS HUGE. are you gonna go”
“i mean, id feel bad if i didnt. i hate how easy it is for me to like him.”
“we’re so having a debriefing when you get home.”
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the plane ride was long and tiresome, eleven hours of being so uncomfortable in the seats and having someone next to you who had no regard for personal space. plus, you just hated planes in general.
but once the plane landed, you felt a wave of relief and soon enough you were off the plane and navigating your way through the foreign airport.
once you get to baggage claim you wait for your luggage and once you have it, you begin looking around for a familiar person.
you round a corner and finally see the one you had been searching for. “there’s my pretty girl” calum says, as his eyes lands on you as he makes his way towards you.
“i look awful calum” you laugh as his arms wrap around you tightly. “no such thing” he says into your hair before pulling away. “how was the flight?” he adds, taking your luggage from your hand then linking his free hand with yours while leading you out of the airport.
“long” you laugh tiredly, as you watch him load your bags into the back of the car.
the uber back to the hotel that calum was staying at was nice, being able to see nice scenery before you’d sleep for the next twelve hours.
the plan was, you’d sleep for as long as you could until calums show tomorrow, then hopefully, you’d be well rested and enjoy his concert and have a few days in the city to spend with him.
still only as friends..right?
while you start unpacking, calum was helping. “when are you going to sleep?” he asks, taking your now empty suitcase and putting it next to his as you were folding and putting the clothes in the dresser. “probably when i get done here.” you say closing the drawer to the dresser.
“no, you’re not” calum says, causing you to stop and turn to him. “what?” you blurt, harsher than you wanted. “what do you mean ‘no’”.
“i mean no because i’m taking you out tonight.” “calum” you try to interject but he doesn’t let you. “were going out tonight, no ands, ifs,or buts. kay?” he says, walking towards you. “and be sure to wear that skirt, you look good in it.” he whispers into your ear.
“what skirt?” you ask, trying to act oblivious.
calum scoffs a little, “you know the one.”
you finish swiping the last bit of mascara onto your lashes and close the tube, then check yourself in the mirror once more wanting to make sure you outfit was good enough.
“you done?” you hear calum voice ring the hotel room into the bathroom. “yeah!” you yell back and grab your lipstick, touching up your lips before throwing it and a gloss in your bag and exit the bathroom .
“you look great” calum grins, walking towards you. his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you closer. you grin, taking notice just how good he looks in leather jacket. “so do you, mr.rockstar.” “yeah?” he smiles, you nod. “yeah. you ready?” you ask. “yep let me get my wallet”
the night was nearing an end, you walked down the street next to calum, luke and sierra followed behind the two of you. calum had taken you all over the city, to nice cafes, his favorite spots from the last time he visited, and a museum. it was truly a wonderful day in the city of love.
the four of your turn a corner and suddenly you’re shocked by the bright dazzling lights of the eiffel tower.
you’re starstruck, you must’ve stopped in your tracks became calum looks back at you, “you comin’?” he grins, holding out his hand for you to take.
you felt like a kid in a candy store as you approached the structure. it felt like something out of a dream. you weren’t sure why you loved the idea of being in paris, but you were here now. standing in front of the famous landmark in the world, it was so beautiful you could cry.
“wow..” you speak breathlessly. the twinkling lights reflected in your eyes, the way it stood out against the dark sky, it felt like the most magical thing you had ever seen.
you’re quick to take your phone out and snap a couple pictures, not wanting to forget this moment. it would be something you would talk about forever.
“hey y/n-“ sierra taps your shoulder. your spin around and face the girl, “mm?”
“care to take a pic of me and luke?”
“sure!” you take the phone from sierra as the couple poses in front of the sight. “i’ll take a couple so pose however you want” you smile and begin snapping pictures of the two.
luke and sierra were a good couple, they complimented each other very well. and from what you’ve seen of sierra she was a good friend and good girlfriend to luke.
“check those, make sure you like them” you hand the phone back to sierra so she can check them.
“perfect! thank you so much!” sierra beams looking at the photos then up at you.
“do you want some with calum?” she asks.
you look over at calum who was already looking at you. “um, sure!” you hand your phone to sierra.
you and calum stand next to each other and let sierra snap a couple pictures together. luke is standing behind sierra watching as she makes sure to get all the angles.
“beautiful!” she exclaims with a wide grin as she hands your phone back to you so you could check the pictures.
you swipe through the pictures awhile calum looks over your shoulder.
“god damn” the australian begins, “we look good together.”
and it was true. you did look good together. maybe you could picture being with him more than his ‘friend’.
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your eyes flutter open to the soft rays of the sun peeking in through the sheer white curtains of the hotel room. “morning, pretty” you hear calum say causing you to look over your shoulder where he sat on the opposite side of the bed.
you groan quietly, rubbing your eyes as you slowly sit up to lean against the headboard. “mornin” you reply followed by a yawn. “what time is it?” “noon” calum answers, turning off his phone. “damn” you reply knowing you’ve slept almost a whole day. “sorry” you say but calum shakes his head, “don’t apologize, you needed the rest. plus, you’ll be well rested for tonight” he grins, you shake your head and playfully push his shoulder.
“what’s on the agenda for today?” you yawn again, and calum leans back on the headboard. “well, we have to be at the venue at two and soundcheck is at three”. he says, checking his phone for the time.
“good, gives me plenty of time to get ready” you say, reaching for your phone. “do you want to leave with me or do you wanna just come whenever you’re done?” you shrug thinking about how long it’ll take you to get ready. “i might just uber after i’m done that way i don’t have to rush.” you start, ripping the cover off of your legs. “plus it’ll give me enough time to make sure i look good for you tonight.” you say with a grin before getting out of the bed and making your way to the bathroom.
calum laughs before calling out to you “you’re a tease, you know that?” you smile to yourself using water for your shower. “always!” you holler back.
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you’re sat in the back of an uber staring out the back passenger window. the venue isn’t very far from the hotel so the ride wasn’t too bad. when you arrived you saw the line of fans outside all waiting in queue you smiled to yourself, feeling proud of the band, and calum.
you step out of the vehicle and walked around like a lost puppy trying to look for olivia’s brother, mark.
you take the time to see everyone waiting in line dressed in their best and looking beautiful.
“oh thank god” you start, spotting the blonde man. “y/n! you made it!” mark smiles, pulling you in for a hug.
“yeah, thank god, i almost got lost.” mark nods and begins leading you down a long corridor until reaching the dressing rooms. “i figured you’re here for calum?” you look up, staring at him for a moment before blinking. “that obvious huh?” mark laughs, then hands you a vip laminated lanyard. “keep this on you, have fun and enjoy the show.” he adds as he pats your shoulder.
you watch as he walks away, taking a deep breath as you open the door peeking your head in. you see the guys spread out in the room until calum looks up from his phone to greet you.
“its about time you got here, i was about to worry.” he says, now pulling you into their dressing room. his tan arms wrap around your figure and you get a whiff of his cologne.
he keeps you close to your side as the other guys come up to greet you. “was it hard to find?” calum inquires, you shrug, “i walked around the building until i eventually found mark and now im here” you laugh. “probably a little late, traffic was crazy”
calum smiles, “all good, at least you’re here now. that’s all that matters.” he says, slinging his arm over your shoulders.
“all right guys, they’re all ready for you” some stage manager, you had to guess, said as they popped their head in the door.
you separate from calum as he fixed his in-ear-piece and grabs his bass. you smile at him and give him a thumbs up and watch as he followed behind the other three.
“are you sierra and y/n?” and woman enters the room, her dirty blonde hair was cut to about her shoulders but it was obviously growing out. she had a welcoming smile and comforting aura. the two of you nod. “perfect, i’m hannah i can take you guys to your seats!” she beams and then the two of you follow her out into the arena where she showed where the two of you would be at.
side of the pit, calums side, so it was actually perfect for you. “are you guys going to be on the rest of the tour?”
“i will” sierra smiles. then hannah turns towards you.
“oh, i don’t know yet” you laugh, taking a swig of your drink.
“well, i’ll be on the tour with the guys so if you every need anything just look for me.” she smiles again. “enjoy the show!”
it was incredible to see, they were truly in their element. each of the acting as if they were born to be on stage.
“wow!” michael hollers about midway through their performance, taking a small break in between songs. luke is still strumming quietly in the background. “paris, how the fuck are we feeling?!” the crowd erupts in loud cheers.
“it’s great to be back after so long” he continues, then takes a glance at his band mates. “how are you all liking paris?”
“good, i love it here” luke answers, earning a few hollers from the crowd.
“how you liking paris, cal?”
“what about the view here? it’s such a beautiful place” luke interjects.
“you seen anything nice lately, calum?” luke continues
“yup, the views in my hotel room are amazing.”
your heart stopped, it was subtle. just enough for only you to notice. he was definitely mentioning you.
“do you mean from?” luke chimes.
you can faintly see calum smile as he laughs into the mic, “yup, my bad.”
“alrighty then.” michael pauses, luke had taken a few steps back from the mic but could still be been laughing.
“then how about you introduce the next song?”
“the next song is for all those who end up meeting someone and know it won’t be more than just having fun. and they’re okay with that. talk fast.”
you wondered what it looked like from their perspective. you turn to face the crowd and you’re overwhelmed with what you see. people screaming their lungs out to the lyrics, some dancing with their friends, you even see some people crying. you also see some signs. some more creative than others, and some sweeter than others.
you manage to spot one that made you a little uncomfortable; “call me red with the way i be riding hood”
sure, clever, but it made you realize that if you had a shot with calum, what’s stopping him from hooking up with any other fan when you’re not around?
shit.
maybe you did like him more than just a fuck buddy.
during the next intermission you and sierra had made some small talk until you overheard some girls next to you in the pit talking about calum.
“oh i’d totally fuck him.” she says nonchalantly. “i bet you i could easily pull him by the end of the night, i just need to find my way in.” she giggles.
you shift on your feet and turn to sierra who also heard it. “welcome to my life..” she raises her eyebrows then take a sip of her drink.
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you sit in silence on the uber ride back to the hotel. calum sat to your right, you knew he was looking at you and he wanted to ask what was wrong.
did you have a bad night?
was the show bad?
the whole way back to the hotel you hadn’t spoken one word to him. you didn’t even look at him.
why did you feel like this?
calum wasn’t even yours. you had no valid reason to be angry.
except you did.
you were afraid that he would want someone else, that you were easily replaceable. you couldn’t deal with that, you couldn’t go through another heartbreak.
you should’ve known that messing with him would’ve lead to this, but you were naïve and wanted something to distract you from your ex boyfriend.
your feet seem to have a mind of their own as you storm past calum and out into the freezing cold.
"y/n/n, cmon don't be this way", he laughs innocently while pacing himself behind you.
you don’t say anything except press the elevator button and wait impatiently for the doors to open. you really couldn’t tell anyone why you were being so stubborn, hell, you didn’t even know why.
once the doors opened you were quick to slip in and press the button to your floor. you stand with your arms crossed, staring blankly at the metal. doors. you were quietly wishing he would say something, anything at all.
“y/n?” he tries reaching for your arm but you shrug him off. “not in the mood cal.” you reply. you knew you were being stubborn and very annoying.
he hasn’t given you a reason to act this way towards him.
you knew you were overreacting. plain and simple.
*ding*
the elevator doors opened and you walk through the hallway towards your bedroom. you scan the keycard and open the door letting calum follow behind you like a lost puppy.
you throw your purse on the bed and take your jacket off. “y/n. please.” you hear him sigh. calum feels guilty and he doesn’t even know what the hell he did. but whatever it was he was going to fix it. he couldn’t take you being mad at him like that.
“why dont you go bother someone else, looked like there was plenty that would love to be in your bed” you hiss, the words spilling from your lips like venom.
calum stops in his tracks, also removing the leather jacket from his shoulders and tossing it on the bed. “what?” he asks, dumbfounded.
“don’t play dumb, cal.”
“i don’t know what you mean, y/n.” he bites back.
“i mean, if you can sleep around with me what’s stopping you from sleeping with your fans?” you confess.
calum just stares at you, “what? what are you talking about?” the bassist was genuinely confused, you had never reacted, at least, not when he was around.
“the people at the show, cal. the signs, their outfits, the way they talk about you-“
calum cuts you off, “look, i don’t know where this is coming from or why you’re acting like this but-“
“i’m acting like this because it was never just about being friends with benefits calum!” you confess, staring at him intently. “i can’t keep acting like im okay with not being able to love you. i don’t want to be hurt again. not by you”
everything came spewing out of you like a waterfall. all the months of pent up frustration and confusion had finally found its way into the world.
you were so frustrated you didn’t even realize what you had said, you turn to look out the window and stare at the lights from the city.
calum doesn’t say anything, racking his brain to make sure he heard you right. you said you loved him, without really even saying the three words.
“you said you love me.”
you look over at him, “what?”
“you just said you ‘can’t keep acting like you don’t love me’.” he repeats.
you shake your head and look away from him. “i didn’t.” you try to get him to leave it alone.
“you did” he sighs, coming next to you and takes you by the shoulders and turns you to face him. “you practically said you love me.”
“calum-“
“i love you too.” he smiled. “i don’t know if that means anything now but i do. i have for a while.” he confessed.
“y/n, you’re nothing like i imagined you would be. when i met you that night in the bar i thought you’d be like all the other girls, which i know doesn’t help, but; this has been the best past year of my life and i think of you more than someone i fuck occasionally.” calum is looking into your eyes. “you’re more than that, y/n/n.”
there are tears welling in your eyes, you shake your head. “i don’t want to be hurt again. i don’t think i could take it.” calum nods, reaching for your hands.
“i understand, but trust me when i say that id never do anything to hurt you, okay?” calum assures, “you’re everything and more.”
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*buzz*
*buzz buzz*
you groan and reach for your phone, opening one eye to look at the notifications. you have over ten messages and five calls from olivia. you sigh, wanting to ignore her antics but maybe it was an emergency. you unlock your phone and see all the messages.
‘girl check instagram.’
‘what time is it there’s
‘are you asleep?’
‘omg omg y/n!!!!’
‘you’re not gonna believe this.’
‘girl i’m freaking out !!!!!’
‘y/n please check your instagram.
‘you’re gonna flip.’
‘ please wake up.’
‘i’m calling you’
you sit up in confusion and then check your other notifications to see over hundreds of notifications from instagram. “what the hell” you croak and then open the app.
‘calumhood tagged you in a post.’
you swipe through the pictures until you see the very last picture which was you standing in front of the eiffel tower with your back turned to him admiring the view and then you saw the caption; “they say paris is the city of love <3”
you practically shoot up from your position staring wide eyed at the phone. you read some of the comments in a panic.
‘lukehemmings: it’s about damn time’
ashtonirwin: finally! don’t hurt my girl;)
calumhood replying to ashtonirwin: your girl?
ashtonirwin replying to calumhood: yep:)
michaelclifford: called it!
sierradeaton: you posted the pic !! omg !!!
5sos_updates: the last slide omg!?!? also last night was crazy!
iheartcalumhood: who’s the girl?
“calum??” you say out, hoping he was still in the room.
you hear the bathroom door open. “yeah?” he asks walking around the corner only dressed in a pair of basketball shorts.
“why did you post that?” you ask showing him the instagram post. “i wanted to prove to you that everything i said last night is true”
you blink, staring at him with little to no expression. “your first thought to do that was post me on your instagram?”
“uhh i guess? should i not have done that?” you crack a smile and look down at your phone, “i cant believe you, cal.” you say, falling back on the bed to scroll through more comments.
“can’t go back on it now” he says, standing at the foot at the bed.
“you’re stuck with me forever” he says crawling on the bed, hovering over your figure. “really? because ashton said i was his girl. sounds like you have some competition, hood.” you state, showing calum his comment.
he takes your phone and tosses it somewhere else on the bed. “nope, you’re my girl forever and always.” he hums leaning in to leave kisses on your neck which earned giggles from you. “calum!”
106 notes · View notes
bartxnhood · 5 months
Text
you don’t go to parties | a.f.i
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ashton irwin x fem!reader
summary: ashton wonders why he keeps searching for you at parties. because after all, you don’t go to parties anymore.
warnings: drinking, swearing, just the party scene
w/c: 2.4k
requests open
not proofread
Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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“hey, it’s y/n. sorry, i missed your call. leave a message after the beep. bye!”
“hey, uh, it’s me, just been thinking about everything tonight and i don’t know… i just miss you so much. call me when you can. bye.”
ashton removes the phone from his ear and ends the call, followed by a long, drawn-out sigh as he stares at your contact photo.
you were standing on the harbour bridge with him, kissing his cheek. it was taken on his first tour, when the band was opening for one direction, and he had just asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you of course said yes. he was your best friend and the person you had fallen in love with years before.
you've been by his side since the beginning of the band till today. you helped him throughout his most difficult times, and he did the same for you. at one point you considered him your soulmate and imagined spending the rest of your life by his side.
that was, until the parties.
it wasn't horrible at first. you'd join him at a few parties here and there. it was fun at first but then things got out of hand. ashton would party practically every night, and the parties eventually moved to his house, where you also lived. and it was well into the morning before the nights ended. so, you'd just hide out in your bedroom or at a friend's house.
it was exhausting. you could never get anything done because your house was always filled with strangers. and you couldn’t talk to ashton about it because he was always hungover and told you he’d talk to you later.
eventually, it got to the point where you just couldn’t take it anymore. so, you left him.
ashton was a disaster. every night, he'd be out partying or at a bar, hoping to drown out the haunting thoughts of you.
his partying addiction had gotten worse since you left. he couldn't even remember what he done the previous week since he had been partying so hard that it was killing him.
sometimes he’d call you when he was blackout drunk, professing undying love for you and how he regrets everything. other nights, when he isn’t so drunk, he’d still call you and apologize for the drunk calls.
he was spiraling down a deep dark alley, and if he didn’t fix himself now, he’d never see the light again.
ashton didn’t know why he continued to party and drink so much. but, he continued without thinking about the consequences. even if he knew how bad he was while under the influence.
some nights were worse than others.
one night it got very out of hand.
it was nearing five in the morning and ashton had one too many like he usually does but tonight was different. he was angry. angry at himself for letting you slip from his hands, angry he treated you like gum on the bottom of his shoe when instead of the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
ashton sat on his sofa staring at the wall with a red solo cup in hand, occasionally looking towards the door hoping you’d walk through and come back to him. but of course, you never did, and you wouldn’t because you don’t go to parties anymore.
luke sat with his head hung, rubbing his temples. “ashton, you’ve had too much. cmon man. just go to bed and we will clean up. it’s almost five a.m”
but ashton doesn’t say anything, he just sits there and down the rest of the liquid in his cup before tossing it to the floor
“yeah, no wonder y/n left you.” ashton hears michael say under his breath which was just enough to send ashton over the edge.
now it was getting out of hand, ashton was screaming his lungs out at michael while he just stood there with his hands up, signaling he didn’t want to fight ashton.
finally luke called the one person he knew who would help. you.
“hey, y/n, i’m sorry it’s so late…well early but ash is drunk, very drunk. can you come get him? he’s causing a scene.”
"what? oh, christ. yeah, I'll be there in ten," you said as you jumped out of bed, grabbed the nearest sweater and sweatpants, and ran out of your apartment.
your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest. the drive was a blur, trying to get there as quickly as possible in order to avoid another fight.
you knew most people would never do this for their ex, but you still loved him. you were still madly in love with him at the time. you listen to every message he's ever left on your phone.
your inbox was overflowing with them.
you heard every sincere confession, every drunken apology, and every sober apology.
of course, you still had feelings for him.
you never stopped.
“thank you for coming.” luke swung the door open letting you slip inside, then walked through the trashed house. “he’s in the living room” you looked through the kitchen archway to see where luke was pointing, and then you saw him.
you pushed the door open and walked across smashed cans and cups to his side. "ashton?" your voice was soft, as if you were unsure how he would react to your sudden appearance. maybe he'll lash out at you, or he'll remain mute and go away.
he raised his head, his gaze meeting yours. ashton comes to a halt from whatever nonsense he was doing, which was probably another drunken rage. was this really happening? he asks, as he stares at you in bewilderment. are you standing directly in front of him? was he dreaming?
"y/n?" he calls your name, and you question, "ash, what's going on?" and his eyes glaze over merely hearing your concern.he only blinks in response, trying to figure out the situation.
he can't believe you're at his party after swearing them off, and it's for HIM. not anywhere else but his house. he says "y/n" a few times before wrapping his arms around your stomach and tightening his grip. he couldn't let you go away again.
you just let it happen and hug him back as he sits on the sofa, saying, "hey, I'm here, it'll be okay" and attempting to calm him down. despite your best attempts, he pulls away, taking everything in.
you noticed luke about to say something, so you put your hand out to stop him, silently shaking your head.
you knew ashton was in pain, so you took him upstairs. "hey why don't we get you upstairs and into bed?" you gently held his arm, which calmed him down. he allowed you to take him upstairs and away from the party. you pull over to chat to one of the boys on the way, saying that you're going to take him to bed.
"I appreciate you calling. I'll get him settled and then return to assist you with the cleanup." you say to luke before leaving.
you help him upstairs, doing your best to keep him upright. as you led ashton to the bed, he was babbling incomprehensible words. and after completing your normal cleaning and care for him, you took a step back. anxiety and confusion consume your body. thank goodness, his luke called you.
You've read the articles about his constant parties and the drunken scenes he created. he was a mess. but it was how he was dealing with the break up. you, on the other hand, have stayed home every night, watching sad movies, weeping yourself to sleep most nights, losing your appetite, and creating excuses not to see sierra or crystal. Isolation was your only option for coping.
you begin to rub the bridge of your nose as you stand by the side of the bed, looking down at ashton, who was in and out of consciousness. your heart was beating, and you were at a loss for what to do. when ashton opens his eyes and sees this, he becomes upset once more. he’s sorry you had to go to another party for him, and he rubs his eyes before saying, "you shouldn't have come." "y’hate parties." "i had to," you say, dropping your hands. "i was worried." he could see it in your eyes that you were sincere. "you're scaring me, ash" you took a pause to attempt to calm yourself as tears began to pool in your eyes.
you try to get him to bed without confessing anything or saying anything you don't genuinely mean, knowing he's incredibly inebriated and emotional. "scaring you?" he took a deep breath as he watched you toss his shoes to the floor. "yes. you’re killing yourself. i’m not going to sit by and let you do that." maybe you were getting a little emotional right now, so you looked away to gather your thoughts and finish getting him ready for bed. if he chooses to sleep.
you left the room once he was settled for a bottle of water. he probably won't know you're gone. only luke and calum remained, clearing up the garbage from the party. they all glanced up at you, waiting for news, but you just shook your head and said nothing.
you returned, half-opening the bottle and placing it next to the bed. ashton is staring at you in awe. "you're always the one taking care of me and i never deserved it," he says. “you deserved so much better than me." you didn't let the fact that he was incredibly intoxicated and emotional get to you.
you lower your head, nibbling on the inside of your cheek. don’t let him hurt you like this, y/n. you kept thinking to yourself, he was intoxicated and didn't mean anything. you get up to leave, eager to go home and cry into your pillow about how much he misses you. he reached for your hand, carefully gripping it, and said, "stay with me." you freeze, tilt your head, and appear torn, so he adds "please? just tonight." while staring into your eyes, desperate.
so, you stayed. laying on the opposite side of ashton, you heard his breath steady assuming he was finally going to sleep. until you heard “i love you.” you had only hoped that if you were still he’d leave it alone and would just go to sleep. but he continued. “when i left that morning, i didn’t stop. i never did. you’re my whole world, and i hate the person i’ve become. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but i screwed it up.” your heart was racing, picking at your nails you felt him shuffle next to you. “you were the best thing i’ve ever had and i let you go. ‘m sorry. you can hate me. i understand.” you waited a bit, but that was the last thing he said for the night.
you ended up leaving before he woke up because it was now daylight and you didn't want to be there when he did. you stood above him before leaving, and he looked so calm. naturally, you bowed down and kissed his brow softly before exiting the room. so, you were gone by eight a.m. you had a minor breakdown on the drive home, knowing that the love is still there, and seeing him so vulnerable makes your heart ache. but you kept reminding yourself that he was drunk. he most likely didn't mean half of what he stated.
right?
you had just finished your meeting the next day and were standing in your kitchen preparing a cup of coffee when you were stopped by a rhythmic knock. you walked over leaving the cup on your counter. as you answered the door, you saw ashton.
“hey.” he said, stuffing his hands into his jacket. you stepped back, then saying “why are you here?” ashton looked around, spitting a few framed pictures of the two of you which he thought was odd. he thought you hated him. he shrugged, “i just wanted to thank you for last night, and everything.” you sighed, “come in” you stepped to the side and let him enter, then closed the door behind him. “do you want some coffee?” he sat down on the sofa.
“sure.” he answered, looking around the room. you came back with a black mug and handed it to him, and took your seat across from him.
there was a moment of silence, the two of you would steal glances at each other but didn’t want to say anything, wondering how to approach the conversation waiting to be held.
his comment was abrupt. “i meant what i said, you know.” you looked up from your coffee, to meet with his eyes already looking at you. “what?” you blinked, placing the mug on the table. “last night. everything, i meant it. from me still loving you, to wanting to spend the rest of my life with you. i meant every word.” he was being sincere, he held eye contact as he spoke and didn’t break it once.
truthfully, you didn’t know what to say. the situation wasn’t ideal, and to be honest with yourself, you knew you still loved him. “ashton..” you finally spoke, followed by a long sigh and dropping your head into your hands.
“then why do you continue to do this? you’re drinking yourself to death, ash. how can i trust that you won’t do it all over again, even if i want to work this out?” ashton stands up from his spot and moves in front of you, on his knees as he holds your hands. "i get drunk to forget the color of your eyes and the way your hair falls and how soft your skin is and the way your smile makes me feel; but it seems like the alcohol can't change my memory of you." he had been waiting to tell you this for the longest, “i do it because it’s the only way i know how to cope and i know it isn’t the best way, but it’s all i know.”
ashton runs his thumb over your knuckles. you look down at his calloused hands feeling your lip quiver “and if that isn’t enough just tell me, and i’ll leave for good.”
you shake your head letting the tears fall, “ash..i just want you to stop..all this drinking isn’t good for you, i can’t just let that happen.” you say, and he nods. “i know, i know.” he hushes your tears, raising up to hug you. “i’ll do better, i promise.” he says into your hair while wiping your tears.
“how can i trust you?” you ask
“because, i love you. and i’ll be damned if i lose you again.”
183 notes · View notes
bartxnhood · 8 months
Text
you belong with me | l.r.h
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luke hemmings x fem!songwriter!reader
summary: after luke finds out just what your song was about, his life was flipped upside down.
warnings: unrequited love, break up, lots of crying, happy ending (who cheered)
wc: 6k
a/n: this is a part two to this so be sure to read that before !
requests open
not proofread
Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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you sigh as you put your earbuds in to tune out the sound of the man in the front seat belting the lyrics of ‘we belong together’ by mariah carey with the brunette in the passenger seat.
you couldn’t help but let your eyes linger on the man. his blond, curly hair, just long enough to rest above his eyes, the stubble on his face that hadn’t been shaven in at least two weeks, that pointy nose that was sculpted by the gods, and those ocean blue eyes.
you loved looking into those eyes.
he was your best friend, he was the one constant in your life and now he feels like a stranger.
you’re taken out of your trance when calum nudges your shoulder. “you okay?” he mouths. you nod quickly offering him a smile, looking back down to the book you were reading.
calum sighs, he reaches for his phone and types up a quick message.
-“you sure? you were staring again, y/n..”
-“i’m fine, cal. swear.”
calum huffs but leaves it at that. the two in the front continue belting out the lyrics and calum keeps an eye on you for the rest of the drive.
you should’ve said no, you wanted to say no and stay home where at least you’d be free of the torture. but, with calum being calum he begged you until you agreed. just like he did when he convinced you to open up for them on tour in the early days.
if you had said no then, maybe none of this would’ve happened.
”luke..i..” you wiped your eyes, it was so hard for you to hear that when you had spent all your life with him only to lose him in the end. “i’m sorry.”
luke shook his head, “no, i’m sorry.”
he stands there, looking at you with sorrowful eyes. he can feel himself tearing up but the moment is interrupted by sierra busting through the door. “there you are!” she says, walking over to your side, her hand finding your arm. “are you okay, hon?” her eyes soften, noticing your tears.
you don’t say anything but you nod, looking away while the girl side hugs you. “did luke bother you? i told him specifically to not take away your spotlight tonight” she says in a teasing matter and you laugh softly. but luke doesn’t seem too amused.
“okay, well the guys are ready so whenever you’re ready, luke” sierra says, removing herself from your side then going back inside the club.
“so, what should we do?” luke ask, watching as you wipe your eyes once more. you shrug, “nothing, you’re with sierra. my feelings mean nothing anymore.”
your eyes flutter open as you feel someone shaking you gently, “y/n, wake up we made it” you look at calum then begin stretching out as you look around. you see the tall palm trees as you can smell the breeze of saltwater wafting in from the open doors.
you step out of the vehicle and begin stretching while the others, ashton, michael, and crystal arrive in the other car as you gather your items from the backseat and pack them into your carry on, luke has already begun unpacking the car. “here’s your bags, y/n” he says, you don’t skip a beat to bend down to take your bags and head for the entrance of the beach house and not bat an eye at him.
calum and ashton shared a room, the two couples had their own room, so you were left alone. not that you minded at all, it gave you time to think and have you time. if it ever got too overwhelming, you had your own space.
after spending some time unpacking, you decided to head out of your room and put your toiletries in the bathroom. as you stepped out, you saw everyone gathered around the island in the kitchen, sierra jutting down whatever the other guys were saying. “oh! y/n!” ashton announces which then causes the others to look your way. “we’re making a grocery list. is there anything specific you need?” he adds.
you walk over to the island, standing across from them. “well, what do you have down so far?”
“we have breakfast foods…um some stuff for dinner for the nights we don’t eat out…snacks…” sierra begins listing off everything she had written down with a point of the pen.
“sounds like you got everything then” you hum, with a nod. “one more thing” she adds, “do you care to go with me?”
you look at the sierra across from you and smile softly, “sure. is crystal going too?” the brunette shakes her head, “her and mike went to the beach already. just us two” she smiles awkwardly. “oh, that’s fine. let me get changed and we can head out” you force a smile as you walk out of the kitchen to your bedroom.
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the drive to the supermarket was quiet, your eyes glued to the road while sierra did whatever she was doing. given the circumstances, there was a little tension between the two of you and it was very hard for you to deal with.
you really liked sierra, she was a kind soul who saw the good in a lot of things. she had always been there to cheer you up, and you had considered her your best friend. but after that night at the open mic, everything changed.
the drive felt like it lasted forever, but eventually, you arrived at the supermarket.
pushing the shopping cart through the isles while sierra was looking at the list, you occasionally would drop some items in the basket that you wanted for yourself or, you and sierra both agreed on it.
“i really miss hanging out with you..” sierra says, standing at the end of the shopping cart in the drink aisle with you.
you look at her, smiling sadly. “i know, i miss it too. just..work has been..work” you try laughing it off. “i can help, you know. i write songs too” she says. you nod, dropping a case of wine in the cart. “i know, i just don’t want to bother you” you shrug, and begin pushing the cart until the next isle.
you hear sierra sigh, giving you the‘you sound ridiculous’. look. “y/n, it won't bother me! you’re my friend and i’d love to help out” you chuckle softly, “okay fine. after this trip we’ll work together.” you cave, and sierra claps her hands quietly with a big smile on her lips.
as the two of you stroll down the isle of chips and other snacks, your eyes catch the package of a certain snack you hadn’t seen in years. “oh my god!” you announce, letting go of the cart to pickup the bag. “what is it?” the other girl asks. “look” you say, showing the bag to her. “i haven’t seen these in years!”
memories wash over you like a wave as you stare at the packaging. “what are they?” she questions. “these are luke’s favorite! back on tour, we used to keep stashes of these in the bus” you laugh, grabbing an extra bag to also put it in the cart. “we could eat up to two or three bags in a day, the other guys would always get onto us..” you laugh, reminiscing.
“oh really?” sierra didn’t know this. she didn’t know his favorite snacks or drinks. she didn’t know how he would bounce his leg when he had a lyric on his mind and needed to write it down, she didn’t know that when he picked at his face subconsciously it meant he was worried. she didn’t know luke’s favorite movie, she didn’t know that he only wears certain rings, rings you got him. she didn’t know that when luke got quiet it meant he was thinking hard about something. she doesn’t know that luke keeps a song journal with some of his deepest feelings.
but you do.
you know all of this.
by the time you and sierra had arrived at the beach house, the sky was already turning dark. you had taken a couple of bags out of the back and began heading inside. “guys, we need help” you announce, dropping the bags on the kitchen counter.
you turn around see the other five standing up from their seats and going outside, and you follow suit.
it took you, sierra, and the other five to haul the rest of the groceries back inside and to unpack. but thankfully, it was only one trip.
while sierra was handing you boxes of cereal, luke hollered, “oh my god!” everyone whips their heads around, startled by his abrupt yell. “what is it?” ashton asks, and luke grinned holding up the bag of snacks before ripping into them letting the smell waft into his nostrils, letting the memories flood back. “it’s the snacks we used to eat!”
you smile, seeing his reaction as he reaches in for a handful, stuffing it in his mouth. “where did you find these? i thought they discontinued them!” he says with a mouth full.
you laugh, walking over and take a couple for yourself. “dont talk with your mouth full, and don’t eat em all because once that bag is gone, you’re donezo. the other one is mine” you taunt earning a frown the from curly-haired man.
sierra watches, she sees how his eye has lit up. she sees and you were suddenly beaming with happiness upon seeing lukes smile.
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the next evening, everyone had wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate your second album as a release party. you, however, wanted to stay back as you weren't feeling it but ashton practically demanded and dragged you out of bed and told you to get ready. “okay, okay!! i’ll get ready..” you groan as ashton pushes you into the bathroom, you can hear a victory laugh from him as the door shuts.
you look up, seeing yourself in the mirror knowing you should be excited to go out and celebrate the release of your second album. you had a good following and people who were anticipating your release. but you just weren’t feeling it, probably because all of the songs were about your best friend.
but, you just weren’t looking forward to dinner or the release party.
you step out of your bedroom smoothing out your dress, which is a dark navy blue. you see everyone else standing in the kitchen or sitting on the sofa in their outfits. the guys in their suits, and crystal and sierra in a dress similar to yours, but crystals was red, and sierra was black.
“ready? oh? you’re matching with luke!” ashton laughs, as he stands up from the sofa, pointing to luke’s tie.
you look at luke’s tie, feeling extra awkward now, “oh..” you say. “you okay?” calum asks, “yup, everyone ready?” you change the subject, and they all nod and head out for the night.
all seven of you sat together at a large table at a nice restaurant, ashton and calum had planned it nicely and were sure that the table was in a private area.
you had already finished appetizers when michael spoke up. “do you remember when we first toured?” he asks.
“yeah..” calum and ashton say, you nod. “what was your favorite part of tour?” he asks. everyone falls silent while they think, “definitely all the drinking” calum answers, you laugh and shake your head, “you were a nightmare.”
“definitely” luke agrees with you.
“oh, soundchecks were fun. messing with managers” michael answers.
“i liked songwriting, i wrote some of my favorite songs on tour with you guys.” you smile, remembering all the good times. “performing was kinda cool too” you laugh.
everyone smiles, you hear calums ‘aw’ and you just roll your eyes.
“what about you, luke?” ashton asks.
luke thinks for a moment, but he isn’t too sure how to answer it. “i think i enjoyed performing the most, it was good experience.” michael nods, “true” he agrees.
then the table falls silent again when entrees arrive. everyone seems to be enjoying their food, until, crystal asks you, “y/n, who did you write your songs about?”
you look up from your plate, you feel your ears turning hot. you always hated this question because how could you tell them it was about the man who was sitting just a few feet from you?
“well..” you begin, finishing your bite. “it’s not really about anyone. it’s just a feeling you have” you try your best to come up with something believable. “that way, anyone can relate to what i release.” you smile, but you feel luke’s eyes lingering on your figure.
you look out of the corner of your eye and confirm your suspicions. he was looking at you.
“ah, that makes sense!” crystal smiles, “your work is incredible.”
“thank you, crys”
it was nearing midnight now, closer to your release time. instead of the restaurant you had moved to a club just a few streets over which was also set up for your release party.
ashton was by your side as you enter, letting the couples go in first, then you, ashton, and calum. you look around and see some old faces and friends.
“do you want anything?” calum asks as the two of you stand at the bar. you shake your head, “nah, i’ll pass” you smile while taking a seat at the bar. calum nods, respecting your wishes as he orders himself a drink. you sit there playing on your phone to pass the time until it hits midnight. throughout the night you have people coming up to you and congratulating you on your album, and you just smile and nod. soon enough, midnight rolls around and you hear cheers and ashton appears from what seems like thin air with a cake while congratulating you. you smile, standing up from the bar stool.
“congratulations on your album, y/n/n! we are so proud of you and we can’t wait to see where life takes you!” ashton says, you feel yourself getting emotional seeing all of your friends around you. “we love you!” you hear michael cheer which causes you to giggle before blowing out the candles.
as you leaned in to blow out the candles everything felt like it happened so quickly. a very, very drunk man showed up out of nowhere yelling profanities at your before pushing the cake on you. “and fuck you, you whore-“ he continued until a someone interfered. you see luke out of the corner of your eye, yelling at him to shut up and throwing a few punches in.
you didn’t move, feeling so embarrassed. you look down seeing all the cake on your skin and dress.
sierra and crystal rush to your side and take you away to the bathroom to get you cleaned up.
you were perched up on the counter, both sierra and crystal were trying their best to clean your dress and fix your makeup but you had already started crying.
“why would someone do that?” you ask, feeling so small.
“i don’t know, hon..” sierra sighs, as she wipes off the icing on your face. “people are just jerks..” crystals adds.
thankfully the cake didn’t get on your dress as much as it was on your face. the two other girls let you borrow their makeup once all of the cake was gone so you could try to enjoy the rest of your day.
“thank you guys, i don’t know what i would do you without you” you smile, hugging the two girls before heading back to the club floor.
you spot luke at the bar with michael and walk up, standing beside michael. you order yourself a shot of whatever came to mind first. “you’re drinking? i thought you hated it” michael asks, eyeing as you downed the shot.
“yeah, well, after the fiasco that just happened, i need to let loose for the night”
luke should’ve stopped you after your fifth shot, but he didn’t. he let you drink and he was now paying the price for doing so.
luke knew you better than anyone else, he knew you hated drinking because of the way it made you act and how you felt afterward.
he stares as you dance with an old friend and when he starts touching you a little too much, luke saw red.
he didn’t even realize what he was doing until you were yelling his name. he lets go of the guy and turns to you, “are you okay?” he asks. “luke?! what the fuck?!” you yell, stumbling back a little, and luke catches you. “you’re drunk” luke says, “obviously” you slur followed by a sigh as you finish the rest of your drink.
“okay, i think you’re done. we should head home” he suggested while taking your hand and leading you through the crowd of people to gather up the rest of your group.
you don’t protest, in fact, you are excited to head back home and sleep away the night and hopefully forget everything that happened.
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the night has come to an end, and you all had finally returned to the beach house. the seven of you all sat around a bonfire talking about life and what they want in the future. you were seated a few feet from the group, admiring the stars, and how clearly you could see them.
the sudden hit of a soccer ball caught your attention and you followed the direction where the ball had rolled from and your eyes landed on calum and ashton. “cmon” calum says, extending his hand you want to say no because you can feel a headache forming, but calum beats you. “you can’t say no. get up”
you groan, letting him take your hand and drag you in the sand to kick the soccer ball around before all of you head in for the night.
luke didn’t know how long he was watching you. but what he did know, is just how bad he wished he was the one you making laugh like calum does. luke wants to be the one helping you from the sand like ashton does.
his body longs for your touch as his heart yearns for your love.
sierra watched as he was eyeing you, he looked at you like you were the only person in the world. he was starstruck when it came to you, his y/n. everyone saw it except maybe you, and himself.
he’d never admit it though, for the sake of sierra.
but what he didn’t know is that she knew she would never replace you in his heart. luke didn’t know she had already made up her mind about their relationship.
“luke..” she speaks up while leaning in, in hopes of getting his attention. luke is pulled out of whatever trance he was in and finally looks at the girl. “yeah?” he asks, looking as if he had just come off cloud nine after hearing your laugh. “we need to talk.”
luke nods, “is everything okay?” he asks, turning his body to fully face his girlfriend. as sierra is about to begin speaking she is interrupted by ashton, who had his arm around your shoulder. “you all coming?” luke’s eyes land on you, naturally. he sees that you didn’t even bother to look at him, he looked disappointed. “we’ll catch up later.”
luke watches as you disappear over the sand dunes and his eyes finally land on sierra. “what’s up?” he asks, noticing sierras blank expression.
she takes in a long breath, trying to find the right words without hurting his feelings. “i don’t think this is gonna work out.. between us” she confesses, feeling the tears threatening to spill in her eyes. “what..? why..?” asks luke.
“because you don’t love me.”
“what? sierra, i do-“
“no, luke” she cuts him off, smiling softly. “you don’t, and it’s okay.” she takes his hand and holds it softly. “i should’ve known i couldn’t take her place in your heart.” “what..?”
“y/n.” sierra answers, fighting back the tears. “i see the way you look at her, you have that look in your eyes every time they land on her. you love her and you need to admit that to yourself.” and it was true, but luke had tried and thought that he had hid his feelings for you, but he was unsuccessful.
“i can’t be her, i can’t force you to love me, luke.”
“sierra..” he sighs, feeling ashamed.
“luke..look at me” she takes her hands, cupping his chin so he would look at her. “last night, when you came to her rescue i knew in that moment..”
“it’s okay, luke. we just aren’t meant to be. you deserve someone who can make you happy, and she does.”
her thumb caresses his cheek, admiring all of his beauty as a tear slips from her eyes. “i’m sorry that i can’t be the one in your heart.” she presses a kiss on his nose before standing up from her seat, leaving luke alone on the beach that night.
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the next morning, your eyes are met with the excruciating pain in your temples as your eyes flutter open, meeting with the sunlight peaking in from the curtains. groaning, you throw your arm over your eyes to try to help with the light and you are reminded why you hated drinking so much.
you heard a few soft knocks at your door, “come in” you announce groggily. calum peeks his head in, “hey, we’re all heading out. you gonna join?” he asks. you remove your arm from your eyes and barely open them. you ask,“what time is it?” and calum laughs quietly . “it’s after five. you’ve slept most of the day.”
you sigh, “i’ll just stay back.” you answer and hear a quiet “okay” from calum as he exits your bedroom, closing the door behind him.
you lie there for a while before eventually getting up to shower, in hopes it would make you feel a little better.
meanwhile, the others had all gone out bowling per the request of michael and ashton even though it was pretty late in the day.
calum wanted to stay back, he hated the idea of going out without you because he knew how bad your hangovers could be but he went, not wanting ashton to third wheel alone.
when they arrived at the bowling alley, it was pretty busy, they found a lane and started a few games. but everyone seemed to be off, calum couldn’t put his finger on it, maybe it was the fact that you weren’t here, or the fact they were all still a tad hungover. so, with only a few games in, they all decided to leave and head back to the rental house to watch a movie and make dinner instead.
when they all arrive back, they do their own thing. crystal and michael head to the patio for a couple of drinks, ashton goes to the living room, calum makes a b-line to the kitchen, sierra goes to her bedroom, and luke attempts to look for you. hoping to clear the air between the two of you.
“wheres y/n?” luke asks, noticing the door to your bedroom was wide open and you were nowhere else to be found. ashton looks around, shrugging as he plops down on the sofa. “maybe she’s at the beach” the drummer suggests. “she didn’t text me.” calum announces from the kitchen, looking for some snacks. luke checks his phone, sending you a message but when you don’t reply he decides to look for you himself.
you sat on the beach, your feet in the cool sand while you were scribbling away in your journal, this whole trip you felt so trapped and so empty. feeling as if you had lost your best friend over something so stupid you tried to push away those feelings, but in doing so you were jeopardizing your friendship with luke and sierra. pushing them out of your life pretty much.
you were so engrossed with your writing, you didn’t even notice the tall blond heading your way.
“there you are!” he announces, jogging to your side. “i was looking everywhere for you!” you look up from your book, seeing luke and immediately shutting it. “well, you found me” you answer, a bit harsher. you hear a sigh from luke, “y/n, are we ever going to talk this out?” he asks, you stand up from the shore and dust the sand off of you. “there’s nothing to talk about, luke.”
actually, there was. you wanted to scream at him, you wanted to pour your heart out and tell him how much you loved him. how your heart aches for him, how your body yearns for his touch.
but you don’t, you simply begin walking off but he stops you. “y/n.” he reaches out and grabs your wrist gently.
“why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, and once you turn around he drops his arms to his side but his look is fierce. he was staring through you. “you left me in the dark, y/n..how was i supposed to know?”
you groan, letting your head fall back. “luke, i’m sorry. okay?” you raise your head and look at him. “and this isn’t all on me, either. you didn’t tell me your feelings either.”
“well who did you think all of those songs we wrote together were about?!” luke asks, raising his voice slightly.
“i don’t know luke! i was too worried that if i said something wrong or if i slipped up i would lose my best friend!” you tell, the pain filled your chest and you felt yourself explode like a shaken soda bottle.
“i was worried that if i made the impression that i even had the slightest crush on you, you’d leave me, luke. you were the one thing in my life that kept me grounded. you were my everything, you were the air in my lungs, my heart was beating for you. so, i’m sorry, luke that i maybe didn’t catch the hint. i was scared.”
luke blinks, his heart racing as you begin spilling out all your thoughts.
“why?” was all he asked.
“because i thought i wasn’t good enough for you, luke. i was never the pretty one, i wasn’t like the other girls. i was always the one who people settled for. and when sierra came into the picture, it was worse. when you started seeing her, i would see the way you looked at her. and it hurt me so bad, lu. because i wanted you to look at me like that, i want you to want me like you want her.” you didn’t even notice the tears flowing down your cheeks.
“what?” in an effort to understand what he had just heard, his blue eyes were filled with devastation . did you really mean what you said? “y/n…did you really feel like that? i made you feel like that?” he feels his heart breaking into small pieces. luke stares at you intently as you speak, he wants to reach out and wrap you in his arms. he wants to take away all your pain, he thinks it’s unfair you have been suffering all this time.
“you’re a rockstar, luke. of course i felt that way, i couldn’t compete with all the girls who threw themselves at you when we were on tour, and then when sierra came into the picture everything just shattered..” you wipe away the tears using the sleeves of your shirt. you had told yourself you didn’t want to break down in front of him like this, but it was inevitable.
you sigh, trying to compose yourself as luke takes a few steps closer, and when his hand touches yours, you feel the wave of sadness hit you again.
“i see the way she looks at you luke, she’s so in love with you and it kills me.” you feel the lump in your throat, and your lip quivers, but you continue. “i can’t stand to be around you two, but i can’t stand to be away from you, because i still love you so much, luke.”
his hand touches your cheek, his thumb wiping away the tears staining your cheek. for a moment, when you look at him you could only wish he was yours. you felt at home when touched you so gingerly, and how his ocean eyes looked over you like you were the only girl in the world.
your hand reaches up, takes his, and removes it from your face. “you two deserve to be together. she loves you luke, i can push my feelings down. i can’t do that to her.” you say, ready to act like this never happened and you would go back to how things were.
abruptly, luke speaks. “she broke up with me.”
your heart sinks, and you feel dizzy. were you hearing things? “what..?” you say, just above a whisper. “last night” he continues, sighing as he did.
“during the bonfire, i guess i..i was staring at you and she went on this rant about how she knows that i love you.” now, you see luke’s eyes brimming with tears. his voice wavers, he sniffles once trying to suppress the tears. “and she’s right, i do love you.” he admits. “luke..i..”
“no. please, just listen to me.” the blond cuts you off, his eyes closing as he takes a deep breath. “i can’t do this anymore, i can’t pretend to love someone else when im still so in love with you.”
luke continues, his hands balled by his side. “i feel so complete with you around, and i can’t take it when you act like we aren’t close. i can’t keep pretending.”
“you are my everything, and it hurts me that i can’t be with you.” his hand is over his heart, feeling the aching feeling he has been living with since that night. “i dream of you, all i do is dream of you. i can’t get you out of my head. so, please don’t push me away. let me love you.”
your mind was racing as you stared at him wide-eyed. unable to process the words he had uttered, “i can’t do this right now..” you take a few steps back, “just..” you shake your head leaving luke stranded on the beach.
luke watches your figure disappear. his chest tightens, thinking he had just lost you for good now. he thinks you blame yourself for his breakup. when you walk away he can’t help but think you hate him more than you already did.
luke sits down in the sand, facing the ocean now. he wants to scream at the horizon, he wants the world, the gods, the universe to know just how much he loves you.
he can’t bare the thought of losing you again.
luke has so much love for you, he knows everything about you. he wants to know the things that maybe you have kept hidden from him. he wants you to want him back. luke wants to make up for all of his mistakes, fix things, and give you the love you deserve.
but, if you don’t feel like that…he would have to respect your decision.
you enter the house, seeing ashton on the sofa with calum with a few beers in their hands. “oh, hey, there you are. luke went looking for you” calum says once you enter the door. “yeah, he found me” you say, setting your book on the table and scanning the room. “wheres sierra?” you ask, ashton looks up from his phone and says, “her bedroom, but she was acting kinda weird today..” you nod, “okay, thanks”
you stand in front of the door and mentally prepare yourself for possibly the worst fight you’d ever have. you knock a few times, “sierra?” you announce letting her know it was you. you heard a soft, “come in” and you twisted the door non letting yourself in.
you see her figure sitting on the twin bed closest to the window, you walk over to sit on the edge and that’s when you notice the tears staining her cheeks.
“sierra..” you say, as you look at her. but she smiles sadly, “i’m not mad at you, if that’s the reason your here” her voice was cracking and it was very obvious she had been crying for some time. “i..” you start, handing your head. “i’m so sorry.” you mutter, feeling your lip quiver.
you had been crying most of this trip. you wish you could just get a grip and stop acting so childish.
“stop..” she says reaching for your hand. “it’s okay, i knew. i’ve known it since the beginning. i knew what i was getting myself into. but…it still hurts.” you nod, wrapping your arms around her. “i never wanted this to happen.” you sigh, feeling her arms pat your back. “i know, i don’t blame you…” she says quietly. sierra knows she couldn’t take away what the two of you had. she had to be smart and realize if she continued the relationship she would only hurt herself in the future. she couldn’t lie to herself when the truth was right in front of her.
“y/n, what you two have is real. it’s more than what we had, i can’t pretend to be you and i can’t make him love me like he loves you. i want the both of you happy, and if me cutting things off with him i’ll do it.” she says, and pulls back to look at you. “you’re my best friend, i don’t want this to ruin us, okay?” she adds, and you nod. “did he tell you how he felt?” you nod again, a laugh escaping your lips. “andddd?” she drawls, smiling. “i left him on the beach”
“y/n!” she playfully hits your arm, “please, go get that man before you lose him again” she demands, pushing you off the bed. “go!” you laugh and exit the bedroom.
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luke sits on the beach, watching the waves crash onto the sand. he wonders if he just lost everything in less than twenty-four hours. he wonders where he went wrong, how he let you slip away, why he wasn’t honest with you…or himself. luke is pissed at himself because maybe, just maybe, if he had been more open with his feelings and emotions maybe this wouldn’t have happened.
he is racking his brain for the right words to say to fix what he had messed up so badly.
“luke” you say, pulling him out of his deep thought. he looks up, his eyes landing on your figure. he feels a warmth in his chest, but he doesn’t get his hopes up. “you came back?”
you nod, as you sit down next to him. “of course, i did.” you say, looking out at the ocean.
“y/n, im sorry. i didn’t mean for all of that to just spill out, i-“ you turn to him, stopping him as he tried explaining himself. “dont” you shake your head.
“just hold me, please.”
time passed quicker than you wanted it to. you sit between luke’s legs, his arms wrapped around your waist and his head resting against your shoulders. you both wanted to watch the sunset since it was your last full night there. neither you nor luke said anything since you came back. you were simply just enjoying each other's company.
“lu?”
“hmm?”
“when did you realize you love me?”
luke thinks for a moment, he recalls the last show of their first headlining tour. he remembers the outfit you wore for your set and he remembers that in that moment is when he first realized his feelings for you.
“do you remember our first headlining tour?” you nod, your eyes still on the ocean. “i do..” luke smiles, “that’s when. i remember seeing your face on that stage and everything shifted..” he answered.
you smile to yourself, recalling that night. you were on cloud nine, you remember the hug and how much you loved being in luke’s arms, just like you were now. “you there?” he whispers. you nod, “i am. just..reminiscing.”
luke pulls you closer, and he squeezes you, afraid to lose you again. he traces soft circles on your arms as he gets lost in thought.
“you there?” you chuckle, and you feel him nod against your shoulder.
“i just… i don’t want to lose you again. i don’t want to mess up this again. please let me make this right between us..” he says.
“lu, i love you. and that’s why i came back. i want us to work out…i want…us..” you speak quietly, the ocean crashing on the shore is in the background.
luke presses a kiss on your neck then, your cheek and finally, your lips. “i promise, y/n. i’ll give you the life you deserve and we will have the best years, together.”
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bartxnhood · 7 months
Text
end up here | l.r.h
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luke hemmings x fem!reader
summary: luke lets his work consume him, leaving you in the dark.
warnings: angst, argument, broken bone.
w/c: 2k
a/n: hi guys ! this is kinda part of my 1.5k celebration where i go back a re-write some of my favorite fics/blurbs.
you can read the original work here
requests open
not proofread
Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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luke could feel himself slipping away, but he didn't know why. but the evenings were getting longer, and he found himself staying up most nights in his studio, hoping to find some serenity in his work. for hours, days, and weeks, he was writing, writing, and writing. trying to make sense of everything.
you realized he was distancing himself from you, but you supported him as best you could, knowing he needed his space and time to figure out whatever was bothering him. but all you wanted to do was talk it out with him. you wanted him to find comfort in you.
you lightly tapped the door while poking your head inside. you said, with a voice as smooth as honey, "luke, hon, dinners ready." as you left, the blonde nodded and looked up from his computer.
you sat alone at the dinner table that night, waiting for him, refusing to have dinner without him. surely he'd come out right? he'd never leave you alone for dinner.
you'd lost your appetite and stood up to clean up the kitchen. after putting all of the leftovers in tupperware, you started the dishwasher and headed upstairs to bed.
you're sleeping on your side, listening for the faint sounds of his footsteps and the door to open. you had been checking the time on and off, and he finally went to bed at three a.m. you felt his side of the bed dip and his arm go for your waist. "are you still awake?" he asks, and you could tell he was fatigued. "mhm" you hum.
you finally turn to your right side to face him, saying, "i'm worried about you." it was the first time you'd truly seen him. his eyes were dark than usual, and his curls were wild. uou've never seen him like this before, not even while he was on tour. "i'm fine, honey," he assured you. "luke.." you sigh as you brush your hand through his tangled golden curls. "please talk to me. i'm here...let me in, please." luke noticed that you were about to cry. "shh...it's okay," he said as he drew you closer. "everything is fine. i promise."
this went on for weeks; he'd either not show up to dinner or show up just as you were finishing. tiny "I'm sorry" escaped his lips as you passed past him to your shared bedroom.
the nights felt endless, he would stay up till obscene hours of the night, leaving you alone. you were curious as to what was going on; had you done anything to irritate him? if you did, why hasn't he brought it up? you'd spend those evenings sobbing yourself to sleep.
luke hadn’t noticed, he was too engulfed in his work. he didn’t realize he was breaking his number one promise to you. he replays that night over and over again while he works, because you were always the one who got him through his toughest times n
“i’ll never put my work above you, y/n/n. you’re a gift from the heavens. i promise to cherish you until the end of our days.” the two of you swayed underneath the strung fairy lights in your backyard. having celebrated your third anniversary. you both thought nothing would ever come between the two of you. “i’ll love you forever, luke hemmings.” you smiled.
he was humming and strumming while sitting in his office. he wasn't moving forward at all. and It was beginning to irritate him. he attempted to hum the remainder of the bridge, but he was having trouble. he sighed, put the instrument down, and turned to leave. his foot landed on the kitchen's chilly hardwood floor before moving into the hallway. he assumed you were viewing it when he heard quiet, incomprehensible words coming from the television.
“what’s for dinner, love?” he asked, opening the refrigerator.
“nothing” you answered, followed by a sniff. he raised his eyebrows, closing the door and walking over by you.
petunia sat by your side, head in your lap. “is everything okay?”
that question alone made you frustrated, tears welled in your eyes for what felt like the millionth time, and you paused your show finally letting your emotions spill.
“luke, you've been checked out for almost two weeks. I'm exhausted," you said, wiping your eyes to divert his attention. he asserted, "i haven't," because he felt he couldn't bear the weight of his guilt. your throat let forth a dry laugh. "right. what happened to all the promises you made to help me with organizing the bedroom? what about the this morning when i had to do it myself and broke my foot, so the boys had to help me rather than my husband?” you indicated the boot that was resting on the sofa pillow. he fixed his eyes on your foot for a moment before returning them to your face as shame overcame him. your tears had made your eyes puffy and red, and the circles under them were darker than ever.
“why didn’t you call?”
“i did! calum did, ashton did, mike did! we all called and texted you while i was at the hospital. but you were too fucking busy in that goddamn studio!”
you yelled from your shared bedroom, "shit!" yhe three boys in your home were drawn to you because of your loud thud and yell. instead of luke, they came to the rescue. "shit, y/n!" ashton approached you, calum raising the bedside table. michael grabbed on to you as you drew your foot back. "can you put weight on it?" he inquired. you tried, but the sudden urge of pain caused your eyes to water. "no," your grip on his arm was strong. you whimper, "i think i need to go to the hospital."
calum and michael helped you in getting downstairs and into your car. ashton hastily grabbed your bag and everyone else's belongings. he knocked on luke's studio door and tried to open it, but he had locked it. he was sick of being interrupted all the time.
at the hospital, the three of them kept trying to contact luke. each phone call resulted in a voicemail, and each text was left on delivered.
you had a glimmer of hope that luke would return, and you thought it would be today. you were in a lot of agony, and all you wanted was for luke to hold you and tell you how much he loves you.
ashton walked into the room, his phone in his pocket. your gaze met his, hope lingered in your eyes, but it washed away with a simple shake of his head.
luke just stared at you, no words coming to mind. "y/n..i.." he grumbled. "luke, i know you're struggling, and i tried to be there for you, but i'm also suffering, luke," you shook your head. "i'm afraid i'm losing you." you were filled with rage as you stared back at luke. he was taken aback because this was the first time he had seen you so enraged. he blinked a few times before taking a deep breath and opening his mouth.
“let me fix this, let me fix us. i can and i will. i just need a little more time to finish this project, hon.” you shook your head, let out a small sob, and buried your face into the palm of your sweatshirt. “luke..i’m tired. i’m so tired. you promised you wouldn’t put your work above me. you did. you cry “look what happened” your voice broke as you spilled your heart to him.
luke exhaled, settling by your side, "y/n." he is speechless and doesn't want to argue with you. “i’ll fix this. i don’t wanna fight. tell me what you want from me…please..” ” he kissed you on the temple first, then the cheek.
“i want you to let me in, i feel like you’re pushing me away and i can’t deal with that.” you cry, luke is still by your side, wiping away the tears on your cheek. “you haven’t left that studio, and i just..” you couldn’t form the right words. but when you looked at him your felt your heart breaking. “do you even love me anymore?”
when the words left your lips luke felt his whole world crashing down, of course he still loved you. you were his universe, the light he had always been searching for.
for years luke had struggled with communication and he couldn’t form the right words to express himself. “oh, y/n…of course i still love you. but this project means a lot to me and…i just…i want to get it done. and i hope you can understand that..” you sigh, and push away his hands. “i can’t believe you’re closing your work over me” you say.
“y/n i-“ luke tries to speak but you cut him off, “i don’t want to hear it, just…forget it.”
luke sighs, and stands up from the sofa. his footsteps echoed down the corridor, and petunia soon followed. you couldn't help but feel dejected, and you felt even worse after one of your rare disagreements. you'd never felt so angry or hurt before.
that night, you slept on the couch with petunia by your side. and spent a couple of hours on facetime with ashton, deciding what your next step should be. "what are your options, hotshot?" ashton inquired, setting down his phone. "well.." you began, rubbing your sleepy eyes. "i could live with sierra or mike and crystal….just until I can get my stuff and find a place," you started thinking.
it was a stormy night, and your gaze was drawn to the glass doors as raindrops fell down the glass. "do you think i'm making the right decision?" you ask, capturing your friends' attention. "i do," ashton considered. “i mean, i love luke. he's like my brother, yet this behavior is unacceptable. i know he loves you, especially after this week, but this has been going on for far too long. it’s not good for either of you." he continued, his head resting on his hand.
you agreed with a nod. you still adore him and believe he is your entire universe, but you can't let it go on. "you're right.." a sigh escaped your lips as you fought the impulse to cry again. "i'll see you in the mornin?" you ask, and he nodded. "be there bright and early," he said, empathetically.
you woke up earlier than usual that morning, with a tiny bag already packed and waited for ashton to arrive.
you had kept your cool all morning, but when ashton stepped in, you let it all out. your arms curled over his big shoulders as he approached the sofa where you sat, and the tears had finally come. "shh..it's okay." ashton quieted your sobs and gently caressed your back.
there's a quiet understanding between the two of you, and ashton assists you in getting off the sofa, hands you your crutches, and walks with you to the door. "wait," you say as you stop him, "will you put this on the counter?" you ask, handing him a piece of paper. ashton nods and performs as you request.
when he returns, he collects your bag and opens the door for you, "you ready?" he inquires. you glance behind you, hoping that luke will come down and fight for you.
but he doesn't, so you return to ashton, nod, and exit the house
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bartxnhood · 8 months
Text
lover of mine | m.g.c
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michael clifford x reader
summary: after a long day, you just want to be wrapped in his arms.
warnings: none !
wc: 532
requests open
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Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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michael opens the door to your shared home, he slips his shoes off and drops his keys on the table next to the door. “babe?” he calls out as he walks through the empty house.
usually, you’re in the kitchen or on the sofa binging a new tv show you found, and inevitably get michael hooked on it as well.
but it was dark and quiet with you nowhere to be seen.
he walks through the house, peeking his head in a few rooms as he heads upstairs. just to see if you were maybe in the bathroom or laundry room, but still no sign of you.
as he opens the bedroom door he is met with your figure curled up underneath the duvet with southy and moose at your feet. he sees how your chest is rising and falling steadily so, he assumes you are asleep.
michael walks to his side of the bed, taking everything out of his pockets and resting them on the bedside table, he gingerly raises the duvet and lets himself under.
“mike?” you hum feeling his side of the bed dip. you hear him shuffling on his side thinking he was getting comfortable.
“i’m home..” he says softly, you hear the rasp in his voice and know he was tired. “mm” you sing finding his body heat and curling up by his side. “missed you” you say into the fabric of his shirt.
he pulls you close to his side, wrapping his arms around your figure. you feel his hand come to your back and he draws shapes, “you okay?” he asks, but you only hum in return and then fall silent for a bit.
“bad day, work was rough. i just..don’t know” you sigh. you weren’t good with your words, you could never explain how you felt so oftentimes you’d just keep everything bottled up. “it’s okay..” michael could feel your frustrations and then tension in the air, he was always a good listener but more importantly he could understand your emotions without you even uttering one word.
“im just so burnt out. needed a break” you add. michael is still rubbing your back, then he presses a kiss in your hair. “we all need a break here and there” he reassures, offering some comfort. “mm” you reply.
for a while the both of you fall quiet, listening teach others and breathing with your eyes closed. you never had to say anything sometimes, just being wrapped in each other's arms was enough.
“how was the studio?” you ask, wanting some insight on his day. “good” he answers, but you hear his tired he sounds. he was probably drifting off. “we finished mixing the album, so it won’t be much longer till it’s completed.” you smile, knowing how hard they had been working on this album and how much it meant.
“had i known that i would’ve made dinner to celebrate” you chuckle quietly. “nah” he replies, “this is enough. just having you in my arms is enough for me..” he adds, then proceeds to squeeze you as you laugh.
“i love you, y/n” he says, kissing you softly. “i love you too, michael.”
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bartxnhood · 8 months
Text
wherever you are | l.r.h
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luke hemmings x fem!reader
summary: he doesn’t want it to end but you can’t take the pain of being so far from him anymore.
warnings: angst, crying, break up, mentions of not eating, no happy ending / cliffhanger(?)
w/c: 2.3k
requests open
not proofread
Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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six months is a long time to be away from the people you consider family. it’s even harder to be away from someone who you had planned to spend the rest of your life with. luke promised himself that he wouldn’t mess up what he had with you, he swore to himself that he’d do right by you. he wouldn’t do you the way he had done his previous relationships.
but touring was hard, on his part and especially yours. but good things never seem to work out for luke.
you had a deep love for luke hemmings. he was your closest friend; you always enjoyed being with him and missed him when he was away.
however, you were unaware of your feelings at the time and merely dismissed them as a result of your closeness to him.
luke also thought of you as his best friend, and the two of you shared everything. luke was always with you; if he wasn't, his energy level was noticeably lower than when he was around you. luke needed light, and you gave him that light. when the other guys or close friends pointed out how evident it was that he felt something for you and that you definitely did too. luke, though, always dismissed it as being quite close to you.
at first, he thought maybe he was projecting his feelings on you after going through such a bad breakup, but it wasn’t until the other guys started pointing out how he acted when you were around, or the way his eyes would light up whenever getting the chance to talk about you.
luke didn’t realize that his feelings for you were genuine until the first time he left for album promotions. he remembers how his heart ached as you stood in the airport waving goodbye as you smiled but luke didn’t want to leave, he looks at you once more as before boarding the plane hoping the trip would end soon.
six weeks wasn’t too long, right?
when tour finally ended it was a bittersweet moment for luke, he was happy it was over. he was beyond exhausted and was ready for a break, and of course seeing you again after months. but also, he would miss the adrenaline when he was on stage, he would miss meeting all the fans and making a connection with them.
the moment he stepped off the plane and walked to baggage claim and saw you waiting for him, he was so glad to be back.
when his eyes met yours and he felt his heart skip a beat, a wave of relief washed over his body.
you were waving at him, smiling widely as he walks closer to you. “welcome back, rockstar!” you cheer as he wrapped his arms around your waist. your scent fills his mind as he lifts you off the ground. “ ‘missed you so much” he says into your neck. “i missed you too, lu!” your arms are around his neck, giggling as he lifts you, spins you around before setting you back down.
you both pull away, luke stands close with his hands cupping your face. he doesn’t say anything, he’s just staring. you feel your cheeks heating up while looking into his blue eyes. “what?” you ask, breaking the tension.
“i love you.”
oh.
oh god it slipped.
you blink and proceed to laugh, “i love you too!” you say, not thinking he meant anything serious by it.
“no. i..” he sighs, shaking his head. “i *love* you, y/n.” he repeats, looking i into your eyes. “i didn’t know until i left. six weeks without you made me realize that i love you.”
you feel yourself tearing up at his confession, “oh, lu..” your hand caressed his cheek, your thumb dragging over the stubble on his chin. “i love you, too” you smile and luke feels the weight behind lifted off his shoulders. “thank god, because i don’t know what i would’ve done if you didn’t..” he laughs, resting his forehead against yours.
“can i kiss you?”
your face must’ve went red because luke laughs softly. “sorry, i know that was sudden”
“no! it’s okay. really. you can kiss me” you assure. luke nods, leaning in and letting your lips meet.
that kiss changed everything.
-
since the beginning of your friendship with luke, you were aware of his job. how he would have to leave for a certain amount of time and you were okay with that, you understood his passion and you admired him for it. you knew you loved what he did but it required a lot of traveling.
but when you started dating him, it hit harder and harder to watch him leave.
when he was gone, you would wait by the phone in the hopes that it would turn on and display his name and picture. luke would chat with you on those nights until you were too sleepy to carry on.
he would tell you how interviews went or all the things he saw while he was abroad on those nights, which you treasured the most. he would do his best to reassure you that he will return soon on the nights when he would hear your cries. he would hum your favorite song on those nights, wishing he was with you, his arms wrapped around your body hushing your cries.
but nothing could prepare you for the longest tour they would have.
you should have braced yourself for the mental breakdowns that followed luke’s departure for tour.
you told yourself that you could manage it.
but as you stood there in the airport, hugging luke goodbye, your heart began to break.
“i’ll be back soon i promise,” he says kissing your forehead, “it’s only a couple of months. i will be back before you know it." he assures as he presses a few kisses on your face. you frown, “it’s six months,
lu. that’s half a year.” he nods, “yes, but, i will call and text you every day, kay?" he says, and you nod, "i know..i'll just miss you so much..” your arms are around his waist holding him tightly to your chest.
“shh, i know, sweets.” he sighs, rubbing your back. “the sooner i leave, the sooner ill be back.” he adds, pulling away and looking at you, he kisses your lips once more. “i’ll text you when i land, okay?” “okay..” you sniffle, smiling sadly.
you look into his beautiful blue eyes, “just come back to me, okay?” he nods, “i will. i promise.”
the two of you share one last kiss before he finally pulls away. “i love you, y/n.” “i love you too, lu”
luke turns to leave, hands the desk clerk his passport, then looks back in your direction and sees the tears staining your cheeks. he mouths, "i love you."
“i love you, too” you mouth back and watch as he rounds the corner, disappearing.
luke was staring out the window the entire flight, with only one thought on his mind. you. he reliving the sight of you crying, as he walks away. he remembers all your previous anxieties, those late-night phone calls where you would be crying to him about how much you miss him.
hes wondering if he made the right decision if he's about to lose the one thing that kept him sane in his life.
luke looks at the time one last time, seeing his lock screen, which shows the two of you on the beach standing together as the waves crash on your feet. he groans and turns off his phone before closing his eyes and falling asleep.
the tour seemed to go on forever. the days were endless, and the weeks felt like months. he checked the calendar every time, and only a few days had passed.
three months had passed since he left you at the airport that day. he never stops thinking about how much you must be suffering while he pursues his dreams while you stay at home.
but you know he's doing his best, and you know it must be difficult for him to be away from your friends and family for so long.
luke kept his promise, he called you almost every night, and on the nights he didn’t, he at least texted you. and in the beginning, you were stronger than you thought you would be.
but both of you couldn’t keep pretending like everything was okay.
eventually, it just got to the point where you couldn’t take the pain in your heart, you couldn’t keep staring at the calendar wishing it was the end of the tour.
you would cry almost every night while staring at old photos. showering was getting harder, you had a never-ending stomachache, and it felt like you never had to eat or drink anything.
for weeks, you were doing the same thing. sitting up in bed, crossing your legs beneath your heavy blanket, and rocking back and forth. your hands discovered your hair. it was greasier than you thought. when was the last time you washed it?
you didn’t want to call him, you told yourself you had to be strong and not depend on him.
where was he today? what country was he in? what time was it?
you couldn’t help but think of his voice. his voice which was as smooth as honey, his voice which could lull you to sleep.
luke was also worried about you, each day he was in another time zone and he was just getting further and further away.
the last he heard from you was a few days ago and it was only a few texts. his thumb hovers over your contact, hesitating if he should call you. he finally caved and clicked your number, bringing his phone to his ears.
“hello?” you answer, luke could hear the pain in your voice. “hi, my girl. you okay?” he asks, but you don’t reply for a few seconds.
“luke..” you sob.
“oh..sweets..” he sighs on the other line.
“i..i can’t do this. you’re so far away luke. i can’t keep doing this.” you cry, now you were sat on the floor against your closet door with your knees to your chest. “i haven’t slept in days, lu. i miss you so bad..i just..”
luke’s heart constricts hearing your broken sobs, his eyes squeeze shut trying not to cry. listening to your sobs he knows he shouldn’t have left. “shhh, i know. i know. i’ll be home soon..just..take a few breaths, okay?”
“no, lu. i..i can’t. i’m sorry..” you pull your phone away from your ear and hang up on him. you stare at your phone before dropping it to the floor.
luke does the same, pulling his phone away from his ear and looking at your contact photo. he groans, dropping his head.
he had now lost you.
luke couldn't remember anything after the night you broke up with him, so the rest of the tour was a blur. he was a complete train wreck. he would have starved to death if it hadn't been for the guys forcing him to. they had to take him out of his bus bunk and force him to brush his teeth. the only thing on his mind was you.
he would stay up late at night looking at old pictures of the two of you, listening to your voicemails, and reading old texts. he wants to call you and pour his heart out to you, making up for his mistakes and abandoning you. but he really wants to call you and tell you it's you. that he will always love you and that no one will ever be able to take your place in his heart.
but he doesn’t, because luke is a coward.
forgetting you was almost impossible for luke, he couldn’t get you out of his head. he got so lost in your love, he thought everything was going right. a love that made him forget how badly it hurt when he was away.
luke misses your voice, he misses the light in your eyes, he misses how you would listen to all of his concerns and how you’d tell him sweet nothings to calm him down. luke misses everything about you.
one hundred and eighty-two days had gone and he was finally back on the plane heading home. nothing had changed; he still missed you so deeply that it hurt him. he hadn't seen your face since the end of the relationship. luke can only hope that when he returns, he will be able to work it out with you.
throughout the rest of the tour he had messaged you a few times but you never replied. the last he messaged you was the night before, letting you know he was coming home but it was radio silence from you.
he had hoped that maybe you would show up.
luke steps off the plane and he can only hope and pray that you would be there waiting for him. but when he rounded the corner to baggage claim, his heart sank. you were nowhere to be found.
he collected his bags and continued to the exit, maybe you were waiting for him there?
luke lets the cool breeze hit his face as he looks around but yet again, you are nowhere to be seen. he sighs, rubbing his forehead. “she didn’t show?” he hears ashton ask. “nope..” luke answers, as ashton pats his shoulder. “i’m sorry, mate.” luke nods, and begins to load the van.
“luke?” he swore he heard your voice, but it was probably just because he was jet-lagged. he continued loading his luggage in the van but calum stopped him, “mate..” he said, pointing behind the blond.
luke turns around, his eyes land on your figure which was swallowed in one of his old sweatshirts. “y/n?”
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bartxnhood · 24 days
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starting today i will no longer be writing for any member of 5 seconds of summer following ashton’s recent controversy.
i will keep all of my old fics up, but san francisco has been discontinued.
i’m sorry to anyone who was looking forward to more works from me, but i do not feel comfortable writing for them anymore.
i hope you guys understand. xx
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bartxnhood · 2 months
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Please more ashtonxfemreader angsty fics!!! Happy ending though if you can, i loved ydgtp fic you did!! Theres not enough ashton fics here. Thanks xx
hii !! i have some ashton fics on the works right now. but with a hand injury and school it’s taking me longer than expected.
please keep an eye out for them !!
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bartxnhood · 7 months
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just a quick heads up, i will be re-writing some of my 5sos fics since i’ve improved my writing. i’ll keep the original post and the new one 🫶🏻 i hope you guys read these as well !!!
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bartxnhood · 15 days
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hii!! could you write more for shawn hunter please!! 🫶🏻
of course i will !! if you have any requests feel free to send them in :)
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