#michael clifford angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ameliora-j · 5 months

Text

— fame f❊cker 𐐪𐑂 michael clifford

𐐪𐑂 summary -> the four times you fucked a different member of the same band, and the one time they all found out 𐐪𐑂 A 5 PART SERIES

𐐪𐑂 content -> part one!, alcohol, bar meetcute, reader not rlly having boundaries, tipsy sex, non australian implied reader, tons of pet names (kitten, pretty girl, my love, etc.), unprotected piv, soft dom!mikey, stranger sex, degradation, praise, humiliation, slight feelings of insecurity (mikey), daddy kink, choking, oral (f!receiving), masturbation (m!receiving), slight size kink, creampie, THIS BLOG IS 18+ MDNI

𐐪𐑂 words -> 4.01k

Michael sits inside the dingy city bar, beer bottle in hand. The rest of the band are all strewn about the bar, having their go at girls, dancing and chatting them up—but he sits alone. Michael always was the least approached of the band members. Though, he didn’t mind—he liked being alone. He sits at the corner of the bar, his leather jacket hanging off the chair beside him so no one would attempt to sit with him.

That’s why, when you walk up to the bar and sneak right in between his legs, Michael is shocked. “‘Scuse me” you murmur to the man quietly, setting a hand on his thigh as you fit yourself between him and the bar. “Peach margarita please” you smile at the bartender.

By this point, he senses you’re already nearing drunk, the hand on his thigh being used to stabilize yourself rather than invade his personal bubble. He sets a hand on your hip to aid in your stabilization. His hand is large, warm and igniting a fire in your belly as he squeezes lightly at your hip.

“Sorry hun we’re out of peach flavor. I can do raspberry, strawberry, mango, or watermelon” the bartender smiles apologetically at you. You pout a bit, your shoulders sinking slightly in disappointment.

“Well… Can I get the most non-alcohol tasting drink with alcohol in it?” You ask, causing the girl to laugh a bit.

Michael’s interest is piqued further now, he thinks you’re just about the prettiest thing that’s ever come and forced itself upon his lap—and he’s thanking all his lucky stars you had. “She’ll take a tequila sunrise” he speaks up, smiling at the bartender, then you. “Put it on my tab” he adds.

At this, you turn to the mystery man who’s buying you alcohol—and whose lap you’re practically sat atop of. “If you think this means you’re getting your dick wet tonight, you’re insane… I hope you know” you hum softly.

Michael smirks a bit as he eyes you up and down. “Let me get this straight… You invade my personal space… practically sit on my lap… and then I’m insane for wanting to get my dick wet?” He lets out a genuine belly laugh at this, gazing at you.

Your face heats with embarrassment, finally realizing the position you’re in as you pull back and sit in the seat beside him. “I’m sorry, I hadn’t… Uh…” You stammer, shaking your head nervously.

He smiles at this, gently tipping your chin up. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it” he mutters lowly, kissing the corner of your lips. “To answer your question,” he sips his beer, “no hun, don’t wanna get my dick wet” he shakes his head. “I’d like to chat a bit if that’s alright?” He tries. “If not, you can just take the drink and be on your way.” He nods.

You smile softly as you finally get a good look at him. He’s cute… Sweet. He kinda reminds you of a kitten. “Well… I suppose you did just buy me a drink” you smile softly. “And I could never in good conscience sit on a strange bar man’s lap and not offer him something in return” you joke softly as you make yourself comfortable.

The bartender brings your drink over quickly and you smile, thanking her as she sets it in front of you. “So… What brings you to this skimpy little dive bar?” You ask Michael.

“A beer” he smirks, holding up said drink. “And you?” He reciprocates.

“Apparently a tequila sunrise, Mr. Mystery Man” you giggle softly.

“Mr. Mystery Man?” He raises a brow—questioning, curious. In truth, he’s a bit shocked you don’t know who he is—but simultaneously thankful that he can just be himself. “I like that, Tequila Girl.” He jokes back.

“Tequila Girl is a new one” you hum softly, sipping your drink. “WOW! That is really good” you emphasize as you look over at him.

“Well I’m glad you like it, Tequila Girl” he smiles—soft but prideful as he lifts his glass bottle and tips it towards you. You clink your glass against his botte and smile.

“Thank you, Mr. Mystery Man” you say genuinely.

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ°

Mr. Mystery Man—Michael, you had learned to be his name—was an excellent conversationalist. Not only that, he was easy to talk to. Charming, funny, smart—and extremely good looking.

The two of you fell into an easy conversation—about video games, cars, hobbies, music, your dreams, his dreams, you even delved a bit into each other’s backgrounds. The two of you became so absorbed in talking to each other that your drinks were long forgotten—until the bartender was telling you it was last call.

“Would you like to come hang out at my hotel?” Michael asks as you lift your purse onto your shoulder. “It’s been amazing talking to you, and I… Don’t want the night to end yet” he smiles—shy for the first time that evening.

That seals the deal for you—this guy could absolutely not get any cuter. You hum, pretending to think for a second before offering him a cute smile. “Only if you let me borrow more comfortable clothes” you nod, looking down at your short, sparkly sequined black dress and high heels.

“It’s a deal” he smiles back, nodding as he takes your hand. If you weren’t so infatuated with the man’s scent and eyes, you’d have noticed him hiding your face as he leads you out of the parking lot and up to a big black Range Rover. You’d been swooning over Michael all night, but when he opens your door and holds your hand to help you step into the truck, you downright fall in love on the spot.

The drive to his hotel is short, only about 15 minutes from the bar. When he opens your door for you and helps you out, you finally realize that for some reason or other he’s still hiding you in his jacket. You let out tipsy little giggles as you stumble a bit over your stilettos, walking so close to him. “Why am I hiding in here?” You whisper.

“I’ll tell you in the morning… Deal?” He hums softly, rubbing your back as you get into the elevator. “Just keep your head down, pretty girl” he hums, kissing the back of your head as you two step into the elevator.

For the moment you’re thankful your head is down because if you think your face was warming up as he calls you ‘pretty girl,’ then it’s damn near on fire as his lips press to your head. “Okay…” You whisper in a slight daze, your head swimming with lust and attraction. The two of you stand in the elevator for what feels like eternities, and when you step off, you see that you’re on the 60th floor.

“Room 60-304, love. Here we are” he smiles as he unlocks the door with his key card. You hold in a gasp as you step into the room, stilettos clicking against the marble floor.

“It’s beautiful” you whisper, spinning around slowly as you glance at everything. He smiles softly, watching you twirl around the room. “Oo, Krispies!” You exclaim in excitement, rushing over to the mini bar. You reach forward, but pull your hand back a bit, remembering hotels charge for practically everything you touch.

“Go for anything you want, beautiful” he smiles softly, nodding in reassurance. You squeal in excitement, reaching forward once more and grabbing the Rice Krispies Treat. If he had to, Michael would pinpoint this moment in time as the first time he truly fell in love. “I’ll be right back hun, I’m gonna get ya some comfortable clothes.”

You smile softly around the treat in your mouth, nodding as you look at him. He then retreats to the bedroom, and you walk to the couch, making yourself comfortable. Michael was back within ten minutes, now shirtless and wearing a pair of sweatpants. He held a pair of basketball shorts and a large t-shirt in his hands for you, neatly folded as he held the stack out to you. “Thanks Mikey” you smile softly, wiping your Krispies crumbs on your dress as you take the clothes and go change in the bathroom.

He sits on the couch, flipping through for a movie as he waits for you to come back. Michael begins to worry when you take longer than ten minutes, and just as he’s about to go and check on you, you come out—hair wet, face cleaned and refreshed, and body swimming in his clothes. Michael never in his life would have imagined that the sight of a woman wearing comfortable clothes would turn him on this much.

He’s unsure if it’s because it’s his clothes, or if it’s because it’s you in his clothes… Or maybe it’s just you. But no matter, he’s fighting for nearly his life to hide the large boner straining against his sweatpants as he watches you walk over and sit on the couch. “Sorry… I felt sticky and wanted a shower” you explain shyly.

“Don’t apologize” he smiles softly. “Feel better?” He asks, smiling again as you nod. “Here, love” he hums, passing you a water bottle.

“Thanks, Mikey” you smile, taking a sip of your water. “So the accent tells me you’re clearly not from here… What brings you to town?” You ask curiously as you sit criss-cross applesauce and turn to face him.

“Would you believe me if I said vacation?” He asks, humming as he turns to face you.

“Honestly, not really. But mainly cus I live here so it’s so boring to me” you giggle. “How’s your vacation so far?” You smile.

“It’s only day one but I’d say it’s going really good so far” he smiles. “Have you lived here your entire life?” He asks you, causing you two to delve into your backgrounds and a bit of family history. It’s then when you realize you could listen to Michael speak for hours, even if he just spoke in circles.

You don’t even realize you’re not paying attention to him until a smirk begins to play on his lips. “What?” You whisper, blushing as you finally make eye contact with him.

“I asked you a question, pretty girl” he hums softly. “Or… Were you not paying attention?” He taunts.

“I… No I was paying attention” you pout softly. “I was just… thinking” you mumble lamely, biting your lip and racking your brain for what question Michael possibly could have asked you. Going with the safest probability you hum and look up at him. “Yes” you nod.

Michael’s smirk widens, and he snorts a bit over an attempt to bite back a laugh. “Yes?” He asked softly, raising a brow.

“Don’t laugh!” You insist, crossing your arms with a frown. “What’s so wrong about it?” You huff.

“My love…” your face burns in embarrassment at the nickname, forcing back a smile. “I asked you what you like to do for fun,” he hums softly. Your face burns hotter now, realizing you’d been caught not paying attention. Maybe he doesn’t know why you’re not focusing on his words. This thought saves you from your embarrassment untill he proceeds to ask: “What’s got you so distracted, kitten?”

You whine softly at the petname, your hips shifting. “Mikey…” You whisper softly, looking up at him with wide, dazed eyes.

“Oh baby… You want it, don’t you?” He mocks, moving closer to you as he pushes your hair behind your ear. You nod, pouting at him as you reach to touch him. He tuts softly, shaking your head as he holds your wrists. “No my love… tell me what you want” he smirks.

You whine again, frowning at him. “Mikey…” You insist, trying to wriggle free. Michael, however, is having none of it. He raises a brow, doubling down as he stares at you with a fiery gaze. You get lost in the green of his pretty eyes, tugging your lip between your teeth as you whine a bit. “Want you, please…” you whisper.

“Awh honey… Just a few hours ago you were calling me insane for wanting to get my dick wet and now you’re practically begging for it” he mocks, pinching your cheek tauntingly. “You’re so cute” he murmurs, leaning in and kissing up your jaw.

“But you need to be louder” he orders. A gentle one, but assuring you knew that he was in charge, and you’d follow his orders for the night. Not that you had any qualms about that… This beautiful man that you’d met no more than four hours ago could throw you around like a ragdoll and you’d sing praises to his name without him having to ask.

“I want you… Mikey, I need you. Know you can make me feel really really good… Want it pretty please” you look up at him with a cute pout. The innocent look in your eyes has Michael’s cock twitching in his pants, biting his lip and groaning at your pathetically cute whiny voice.

Michael would be lying if he said watching you beg for him didn’t inflate his ego just a bit. There was a ton of guys in that bar tonight, hell the rest of his band was in that bar… but you chose him. You went home with him. He was the man you were about to spread yourself out for, give your body to. The man that you were begging to touch you and make you feel good.

The knowledge of the power he currently holds over you makes his cock even harder in his pants. He groans, giving up on his attempt at keeping composure as he pushes you back against the couch cushions, enveloping your mouth in a deep and passionate kiss. You moan against his mouth, arching your back as his hands run over your body. “Pretty little thing” he mumbles as he pulls your shirt off, immediately kissing across your chest.

Michael’s hands are quick, but skillful as well. His fingers calloused due to the years of guitar playing, and you moan as the rough pads pinch at your already hardening nipples. You whine again, your hips bucking, causing your pulsing pussy to grind against his thigh as he fits himself between your legs. “Michael…” You breathe, moaning quietly.

“You make the prettiest noises baby” he murmurs softly, nipping down your neck. “‘Specially when you’re moaning my name” he mumbles, trailing kisses and hickies down your neck, to your chest. “Do it again” he growls quietly.

You gasp softly, arching your back a bit as you follow his orders, moaning his name once more. This time when you do, you lean up directly into his ear, breathing his name quietly as you tug at his hair. Michael groans at the sound of your voice, wrapping his hand around your neck. “Are you a virgin, pretty girl?” He teases.

“No, Daddy” you breathe softly, flushing in complete embarrassment as the honorific easily slips from your lips, your mind slipping quickly into a submissive haze. “I-I’m sorr-“ Michael stops your sentence almost as soon as it starts, squeezing a bit harder at your neck.

“Don’t apologize… Just keep saying it, Kitten” he smirks, leaning down and swallowing the moan that slips past your lips as he kisses you. He runs his hands down your sides, squeezing at your hips before sneaking a hand beneath your basketball shorts. “Did you leave your panties off?” He smirks, rubbing his thumb over the bare slit of your pussy. “Naughty, naughty girl” he tuts softly, shaking his head.

You whine as the pad of his thumb circles your swollen clit, unable to help the jerk of your hips as you grind against his hand. He sucks in air through his teeth as his middle finger pushes into your slippery hole, grunting as he presses down on your tummy a bit. “That’s a tight little hole, baby… Dunno if my cock’s gonna fit in it.” He mocks.

“No… No can make it fit” you moan louder as he pushes another finger into your cunt. “You can make it fit I need it” you whine loudly, arching your back.

“You’re so adorably pathetic” he laughs, crooking his fingers up to hit your gspot. “Keep making those pretty noises for Daddy ‘n maybe I’ll get you nice ‘n wet with my mouth before I split you open on this big cock.” He chuckles.

“Yes” you moan, nodding. “Yes, please,” you whine, fucking yourself on his fingers. “Oh fuck Daddy, please” you moan, circling your hips on his fingers. “Y’make me feel so good… Stretching me so good” you moan. By this point, your moans have become practically incoherent, stringing any word you could think of together in an attempt to form a sentence as you fuck youreelf on his hand.

Michael can’t take it anymore. Your whines and begs nearly have him busting out of his pants before he’s tearing off your’s. He groans at the sight of your bare cunt, pushing your legs up to your chest before diving in. He moans, spitting on your cunt before licking a bold stripe from your weeping hole up to your pulsing clit. You whine, your hands flying to his hair and pushing his face impossibly closer to your cunt.

His beard drags against your sensitive pussy lips as his mouth envelops your cunt. You’re whining out his name, leaking into his mouth as tears of pleasure leak from the corner of your eyes. You’re nearly sent over the edge as his lips wrap around your fat clit, puckering as he roughly sucks at the sensitive bud, his tongue swirling circles around it.

You whine loudly as you feel his fingers push into your entrance once more, a moan from him sending a shockwave to your cunt and igniting each nerve in your body causing your toes to curl and a loud moan to spill over your kiss-swollen lips. When you look down, you see Michael’s left hand wrapped around his thick cock. The head red and angry, dripping precum down onto the cushions of the couch as his hand strokes over it in quick motions. He’s grunting and groaning into your pussy, getting off on the taste of your and the sound of your moans alone.

Both of your heads are swimming in lust, Michael lost in his head as his ego inflates like a balloon hearing the amount of pleasure he’s causing you. The sound of him eating your cunt is filthy, making you impossibly wetter as you hear Michael’s slurps and grunts as he drinks from your cunt as if it’s a fountain of eternal youth. You tug at his long pink locks, the whiny little ‘Daddy’s spilling from your lips spurring him on as he moves faster. “Oh Daddy… Daddy please ‘m gonna cum” you whine, arching your back as you push his face even closer.

Michael chuckles as he pulls back, causing a perturbed whine to spill from your lips as you pout at him. “Oh baby… As much as I'd love to lick this little pussy until you cum… I wanna feel you squeezing my cock while you cum for me” he growls in your ear as he runs his cock through your slit.

Your hips buck as the head of his leaking cock nudges against your clit. Mikey pulls his lip between his teeth, taking a breath to calm himself as he pushes the head of his cock into your tight cunt. You whine at the stretch, pouting at him with wide eyes as your legs spread. “Please, Daddy…” you gasp.

“Fuck, Kitten” he groans as he slowly pushes his dick into you. “This tight cunt is gonna make me burst…” he grunts. “Gonna fuck this little pussy raw… Fill you up with my cum, pretty girl. Would you like that?” He taunts, moaning as he bottoms out, pressing down on your tummy.

“Yeah” you whimper. “Yeah, I like it a lot. Please” you breathe. Mikey’s awestruck at how quick he’s reduced you to nothing but moans and whines—soft cries of his name spilling from your lips as he fucks you slowly.

“You feel so good baby” he mumbles, his thumb coming to stroke against your clit. “Tightest little pussy I’ve ever had” he groans, pushing your leg up over his shoulder. You whine loudly as he pulls out and thrusts in once more, his cock kissing your gspot as your hips twitch.

“Big” you moan back, arching your back into him as he pulls your nipple between his lips. “Big-biggest… Big” you whine dumbly as your eyes roll into the back of your head.

Michael chuckles at how pathetic you sound, squeezing at your throat as his hips pick up the pace, chasing his impending orgasm as he licks, sucks, and bites at your nipples. “Whose pussy is this baby?” He teases, smoothing your hair back as he holds you close to him. “Tell Daddy who you belong to ‘n I’ll let you cum.”

You whine, clenching tightly around him as more arousal spills from your cunt, making your opening more slippery and allowing Michael easier access to fuck you as he pleased. “I know you want to, baby… I feel your little cunt squeezing me… Tryin’ to milk me dry” he groans, his forehead falling to your shoulder as sweat drips off of him. “All you gotta do is tell me who you belong to, Kitten, Daddy’ll let you cum” he cooes mockingly, gently stroking over your clit.

Your voice is stuck in your throat, your jaw dropped in pleasure as you practically fight to breathe. You choke over a loud moan, your nails clawing down his back as you look into his pretty green eyes. Then and only then do you finally find a voice as his cock presses to your gspot. “You” you finally choke out loudly. “It’s yours… Your pussy I… It belongs to you!” You whine. “Oh fuck please let me cum, please!” You beg, your legs shaking as you try to hold off for him.

“Only because you beg so so pretty, Kitten” he smiles softly, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips as you moan. He holds your hip with his hand, keeping you pressed against his chest as he strokes over your clit. “Come on baby… Cum for Daddy ‘n I’ll fill you up” he whispered softly. “Keep your eyes on me baby, don’t close them” he hums, his hips stuttering as you squeeze around him.

You nod dumbly, your forehead pressed against his as you blink slowly. You swallow hard, your jaw dropping as your eyes roll back. “I’m… I’m… Cumming, ‘m cumming” you gasp around whines, your body shaking as you cum around Michael’s cock.

He groans as he feels the way you squeeze him, your cunt becoming impossibly tighter as he ruts into you. A cacophony of whines, moans, cries, and whines spill from your lips—your eyes never once breaking contact with Mikey’s as he fucks you through your orgasm. “Th-thank…” you gasp, your eyes rolling as you feel Mikey’s hips stuttering, his cock twitching against your gspot a few times before he presses his hips to your’s. His pelvis kisses your clit as the head of his cock kisses your cervix, spraying his cum deep into your awaiting womb as he lets out a symphony of moans.

He holds you to his chest as he cums, leaning in to press a passionate kiss to your lips. You let out soft whimpers and whines against his lips as your body twitches against his. He pulls back slowly, smiling lovingly as he smoothes your hair back. “Such a good girl, baby” he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to your head.

You hum softly as you smile lazily at him. “Thank you, Daddy…” you whisper quietly, looking up at him with glossy eyes.

“You’re so welcome, pretty girl” he smiles, kissing your nose gently as he pulls out slowly. “Now, let’s get you a bath.”

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ

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#nsfw.nani #michael clifford x reader #michael clifford x you #michael clifford x yn #michael clifford x y/n #michael clifford smut #michael clifford fluff #michael clifford angst #michael clifford x reader smut #michael clifford fic #michael clifford fanfic #michael clifford fanfiction #michael clifford blurb #michael clifford dialogue #michael clifford headcanon #michael clifford imagine #michael clifford drabble #michael clifford #fem!reader

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getsojaded · 2 years

Text

pre-show playlist || calum hood

word count: 1.9k+

warnings: swearing

a/n: draft while i write mini series :) not entirely sure why atlanta is the first city that came into my head but it was so if ur from atlanta this one’s for u LOL. also, was actually lol’ing at the fake stan twt tweets i had to make LOLOL

—

“Thank you, Atlanta! I love you!” Are the last words you yell into the mic, heading off the stage before the lights go out.

It had been your first show of your world tour after Covid had put the world at a temporary pause, and needless to say, your adrenaline levels were going through the roof. If there’s one thing you loved most, it was performing for the people that love and appreciate you for what you do.

“You fucking killed it! Congrats Y/N,” one of your team members exclaimed, rushing to give you a hug. “Thank you,” you sighed, leaning into their hug. You missed this, you missed travelling the country by tour bus, soundchecking old songs that made your fans go crazy and answering their question, and you missed having your favourite people standing by your side as you did what you valued and appreciated so deeply.

Things were slightly different though, and you couldn’t help but take notice of them.

Calum was by your side your last tour, engulfing you in a big hug and kissing your forehead the minute you got off stage. He was there to help you choose your outfits for each show, to take you to the best restaurants and coffee shops in each city for the minimal hours you spent there, and to give you those loving and reassuring words whenever you got those last-minute butterflies before performing.

You loved Calum, and Calum loved you — there was no doubt about that. But as much as you loved the tour life, it wasn’t easy. Not only was that complicated, being in the spotlight, along with your love, was one of the hardest things you had ever had to do through.

With fake news articles that drew too much attention towards you two, to scheduling conflicts that led to unsolved arguments, to the fans.. that were just being fans (you know.) — it got too much to handle. For the both of you.

So when you started using Google Maps to find five star cafés, taking a bit too much time to decide what outfit to wear, and breathing in and out for longer periods of time before you hopped on stage, you realized that you’d need some time to adjust to the new aspects of touring. And quite frankly, you hated it. You missed it. You missed him.

You missed the way he’d hold you at night in your shared bunk, telling you “Sleep well, you did an amazing job”. You missed the way he’d drag you out of bed to take a daily mirror selfie in the bus, determined to have a photo from each city you visited, and you missed the way he’d-

“Okay, that’s enough,” you whispered to yourself, shaking out of your thoughts and getting up from the couch you were sitting at, taking a moment to regain your energy.

You walked up to the full body mirror in your dressing room, snapping a quick photo before posting it to your Twitter account.

y/ny/l/n: atlanta i fucking loved u, thank u. excited to see the rest of u on tour. x

Within seconds you were getting likes, retweets and replies on your tweet. You took a quick moment to change into comfy clothes and exit the venue, as it was now time to relax on the tour bus.

You opened up your phone onto the Twitter replies to scroll through the replies, and like and respond to a few.

killedmytime: THIS FIT IS SO FIRE

calumsboba: you did amazing y/n!!

yungy/n: bro i lost my phone at the concert i’m tweeting off my laptop rn

You giggled at the last one, responding with “drop ur venmo i got the next one” before continuing to scroll through your mentions and notifications.

disconnectedvol6: @Y/NY/L/N DID YOU PURPOSELY PUT MOVING ALONG ON THE PRE SHOW PLAYLIST

whywontuluvme: @/disconnectedvol6 BRO I WAS THERE EARLIER AND EVERYBODY IN PIT WAS FUCKING LOSING IT WHEN IT PLAYED

wfttwtafff: i’m going to cry @y/ny/l/n is still so supportive of calum even after they broke up

outofurlimit: i’m fucking SCREAMING SHE HAD THE AUDACITY. MOVING ALONG TOO?

heartbakegirl: i cant believe u put moving along on the playlist omfg divorced parents <;/3

Oh God.

Okay, maybe it was just your fans in your responses that took notice of your ex boyfriend’s band’s song. You quickly searched up “y/n calum” and immediately groaned at the loads of tweets regarding your show, that song and that playlist.

notinthesameways: i almost fucking peed myself when i heard moving along i wonder if calum knows y/n put it on her playlist

y/nswildflower: i miss calum and y/n omg

dontstoppa: bro let’s talk abt the fact that out of every song y/n chose the one that’s literally about a breakup AND calum wrote it girlie knew what she was doing

Contrary to that last tweet, you actually had no idea what you were doing!

You didn’t mean for 5SOS’ song to play before your show started. In fact, you hadn’t even made a specific pre-show playlist — you just decided to use your “currently”. Which… has Moving Along on it and with your luck, of course it came on shuffle.

Yes, you listened to their new album. Yes, you thought it was fucking spectacular. Yes, Moving Along was your favourite song off the album because not only does Calum’s verse get your heart throbbing but it also makes you wonder if you popped up into his mind while he was writing it.

And yes, you added it to your on repeat playlist because you couldn’t stop listening to it.

You couldn’t help but wonder if he had done the same thing with your album: thoroughly listen to it, fall in love with it more and more everytime, and add his favourites into his liked songs.

You also couldn’t help but wonder what he’s up to right now. Was he preparing for touring, just like you? You hadn’t seen any posts in regards to shows from their band account, along with the four boys’.

And now you were wondering why the hell he was giving you a call, your heart skipping a beat once you saw the contact name Hood xo appear on your screen, along with his contact picture of you, him, and Duke.

“What the fuck,” you whispered, letting it ring a couple more times before you picked up the phone. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi, Y/N. Good to talk to you again.”

“You too.”

You were scared. You were scared and you’ve never been put in the position of not knowing what to say to him, except now. As much as you tried to say more in response to him, no words would come out.

“You know why I’m calling you.” He simply stated, sounding a lot more confident than you had expected, which took you by surprise.

“Caught me lacking, huh?” You asked, earning a soft giggle from Calum in response. “Okay look, I didn’t even mean to play it before my show. I gave your album a listen when it first dropped and I was like wow this shit is good so I added one of my favourites onto my playlist and I used that specific playlist so I didn’t even think about it and-“

“I’m really glad you listened to the album.” He simply states, your heart skipping a beat as you bring your hand up to cover your mouth. “And I’m glad you found a few favourites on there.”

“Yeah, you guys did so well on it.” You’re nervous. You’re fucking nervous, and you have no idea how Calum is handling this conversation as well as he is. Despite the pit in your stomach, your curiosity got the best of you. “D-Did you listen to mine too?”

“‘Course I did. Fell in love with it, baby.” Your heart flutters at the sound of the pet name that falls out of his mouth, feeling the nostalgia and intimacy his voice is laced with. “Thank you,” you respond just above a whisper, before the line fills with silence. Slightly awkward silence.

Calum doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up. Especially after such a wholehearted, sweet conversation. But he has some questions, and doesn’t want to end this call with unfinished answers.

“I miss you. I miss us.” He confesses, tears threatening to spill from his eyes and he silently thanks himself for only clicking on an audio call, and not a FaceTime one.

“I know.” You respond as quiet as possible, not risking to hear crack in your voice. “I do too. It’s not the same without you here. Tour’s different. I caught myself thinking about you every time I noticed something was off.” You say to him honestly, unaware of the aching in his chest that you caused. He hated the thought of your emotions shifting negatively because of him, and if he could, he would do everything in his power to reverse it if it meant you were happy.

“What happened to us?”

“Cal…” You sigh. You felt this question coming, but you weren’t prepared to answer it. “You know what happened to us. It was just... circumstances, and time.” Was all you could say, with complete honestly.

“Well, what about now? What do the circumstances and time have for us now?” He asks you in a low voice. You shake your head and laugh at the irony of that follow up question, rubbing your forehead with your hand.

“Well, I’m still on tour, so it looks like not much has changed.” You respond, earning a chuckle from Calum. “Shouldn’t you be heading off on tour too?”

“Taking a break first. Don’t really know why, Ashton suggested that we break first before touring and we all just kinda went with it.” He responds. “When’s your LA show?”

“Last show of the tour. Then it’s me time. Staying in LA for quite some time, then gonna try and go back to hometown for a bit.”

“What would you do if I asked you if you were okay with me going there?” He asks, with the slightest bit of hope. It’s worth a shot, he tells himself. It’s worth a shot if it has anything to do with you.

“Then, I’d tell you that I’d love to have you at my last show. Do you want to be there?” You tell him, with a smile planted across your face, unaware of the smirk forming across his as well. “Nothing else I want more than to be there, love.”

“I guess I’ll be seeing you then?” You ask, trying to sound as confident as possible, but you’re well aware that Calum can see (more like, hear) right through your façade. “Let’s see where the circumstances and time take us this time around.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” “Me too.”

The line falls silent once again, but now it’s comfortable. A silence that warms your heart and calms you down. A silence that eases your mind and relaxes your body.

“Oh, and Cal?” You speak up.

“Yes?”

“Let’s not let the circumstances and time fuck us over again. I’d rather not let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to me a second time around.”

“You are the last thing I’m ever gonna lose again, baby. Mark my words.”

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nicksbestie · 2 years

Note

a oneshot with Ash being sore and and giving him a back rub to make him feel better

ofc :)

pairing: ashton irwin xreader

word count: 420

warnings: none

Relaxation

The door slammed. You glanced up and were met with a scowling boyfriend. You allowed a small smile to graze your face, knowing despite his angry appearance he was most likely just exhausted, and wanted attention. Landing his eyes on you, his face softened a tad, and his shoulders slumped a bit. He walked over to the sofa and sat down, leaning into your side.

You set your phone down, immediately wrapping an arm around his shoulders and letting him rest his head on you.

“You okay babe?”

He sighed.

“My arms hurt.”

His words were slightly muffled since his face was half hidden in your shoulder, but you got the jist.

“You’ve been pushing yourself too hard again haven’t you?”

“Not on purpose! I thought I could handle it.”

You shook your head, lightheartedly smiling. He does this nearly every week, going absolute maniac on the drums and overworking his arms, leading to soreness in them and his back.

“Alright. How about you go and grab comfortable clothes, and I’ll start you a warm bath. I’ll put some Epsom salts in it too to help with the soreness.”

He smiles up at you.

“Join me?”

“‘Course.”

15 minutes later, you were finally seated and attempting to rub Ashton’s back to help but he kept reaching an arm behind him to poke you and laughing.

“Don’t be an ass or I’ll get out and you can massage your own arms and back.” you responded, rolling your eyes.

“Fine.” He answered, dragging out the “e” with a small grin on his face, pushing back impossibly further against you.

You kept solid pressure on his arms and back to hopefully get him to relax, and it seemed to work. Looking at his head dipped towards his chest, you laughed as you realized he fell asleep. Out cold. You didn’t have the heart to wake him right that instant. You let him sleep for a minute since the water was still warm, and went ahead washing his hair for him. He had decided to let it grow out, and he loved when someone ran their hands through it, (you), or when someone washed it. He sleepily laid his head back on your shoulder, half-consciously smiled, and earned himself a forehead kiss. He dozed off again, and you didn’t make him move til the water went cold. Gently shaking him and grabbing him a soft towel, you somehow managed to get him dressed and in bed with promises of more massages the next day.

#5sos #5sos x reader #5sos fic #5sos angst #5sos fluff #5sosfam #ashton irwin x reader #calum hood x reader #luke hemmings x reader #michael clifford x reader #boyfriend ashton irwin #ashton irwin angst #ashton irwin fluff #luke hemmings angst #luke hemmings fluff #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff #michael clifford angst #michael clifford fluff

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writersdare · 1 year

Text

Don't Be a Stranger | Michael Clifford

Pairing: Michael Clifford x Reader (she/her)

Summary: The tour was over, and Michael and Y/N finally met again. Both were uncertain who they were to each other after months being apart.

Warning: slight angst

Word Count: 1 097

Author's Note: Just a small episode that popped into my head the other days. Hopefully you'll like it! Also, requests are open and encouraged ♡

The cold air hit the lungs as Michael left the airport and saw her. She was standing next to a greasy column numbered “four”, wrapping in a dark blue jacket and holding a black one for him. Y/N was shifting from foot to foot, trying to keep herself warm as he landed later than they expected, and she had to wait there longer than necessary. She could come back to a car she parked nearby, but stupidly felt like if she’d keep stare at the exit, Mike would appear earlier.

A short smile sparkled on his face as he came closer and hugged the girl tight. Y/N only sighed and closed the eyes, nuzzling his shoulder. They kept silence just for a moment but for some reason it felt like eternity. None of them felt happiness from seeing each other, or better to say the sadness simply was stronger that night.

She was tired. He knew she was, and he could tell that not just by her sleepy eyes and messy hair. He could tell that by her replies that became shorter through the weeks being apart and by the hug at that particular moment while she was barely touching his back.

Y/N knew it was vividly his fault, and she knew what she was getting into by dating him. They just didn’t expect it to be that hard, apparently. Three months apart, less than a week together, and five more months separated. Were they even in relationships at all?

“Hey,” Michael finally said quietly, not expecting his voice to be so hoarse. The guy broke the hug and took the jacket from her, feeling rather uncertain if he could even leave a kiss on his girlfriend’s lips. He still saw a person he loved in front of him, and he only hoped he didn’t look alien to her after months being away from each other.

“Hey,” she smiled in the same sad manner and gave a short smack on his lips herself. The taste still was able to awake little butterflies in the stomach. Y/N wanted to say many things, how she missed him or how she hated them being apart, but instead the girl silently turned to the car, being ready to head home with him.

“I’ll drive,” Michael said and hurried up to the driver’s side after putting his suitcase and a backpack in a trunk. He was drowsy, but he knew Y/N was no less, so he just couldn’t allow her to drive all the way back. She didn’t even argue, only nodded and chose a passenger seat next to him.

The road was rather empty. They were passing by few cheap hotels and convenience stores; the lights illuminated the road which at some moment started to seem almost endless. Mike saw how Y/N’s head slowly sank to a side, her eyes were shut closed and the breath became steadier. He hated himself for what he was planning to do, but the silence was truly killing him and he couldn’t hold the bitter thoughts to himself any longer.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he started and glanced at Y/N, as she sighed heavily and opened her eyes. “I know it’s not easy, but–”

“Are we really going to talk about it now?” she interrupted him irritably, although still with a sleepy voice.

But it was enough for Mike to get annoyed, too.

“When then? Tomorrow morning you’ll head to work and–”

“Not you talking about my working schedule,” she smirked.

“Stop interrupting me,” Michael spoke out every word and squeezed the steering wheel. He hated being interrupted, and she knew that.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Y/N mumbled under her nose but loud enough for him to hear and turned a head to the side window of the car.

No one said anything else after that, and the silence in the car became even more unbearable.

She didn’t fall asleep on the way home, and no one said anything else until the end of their trip.

“Welcome home, Mike,” Y/N was the first to break the silence, as they entered their house and turned on the light.

“Thanks…” Michael mumbled and looked around. He had a minute to adjust to the place, as the house seemed as if not his for a moment. That’s how long he was gone.

The girl looked at Michael, observing his haggard face. It felt odd to see him there, in their house. Her eyes became wet all of a sudden, Y/N stepped forward and hugged the guy tight, touching his cheek with her. Mike reacted right away, catching her in the arms and leaving a kiss on her cheek before giving a deep one on the lips.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered. “I’m sorry it was a mess, Y/N. I know I promised to be here for you. I know I…”

“It’s not your fault, Mikey,” she sighed, hugging her favourite boy only tighter. “I know it’s your work and you are trying your best. It’s just…”

“Can be really hard sometimes.”

“Yeah…” the girl agreed quietly.

The time zones sucked, sometimes they couldn’t talk for days because of the time difference. He’d leave a message early morning and she’d be able to read right away only if she had insomnia once again and couldn’t sleep without him by her side.

“I took few days off so we could spend some time together…” she added in whisper.

“Really?” Mike pulled away lightly to see her face and smiled wider. “Y/N…”

He knew how important the job was to her, it was not like he was putting his career higher than hers. But still he appreciated such gesture a lot. The happiness, though, was replaced by another sadnesss almost immediately. Michael started to feel awful as when he had few days doing nothing, he was lying in bed in a hotel room without any powers to buy a ticket and fly home instead. The touring was exhausting, no matter how much he enjoyed to perform.

Y/N was simply trying to save what was left between them. It was still a long way back to the relationships they had when they’ve just met, she missed their candy-bouquet period. But she believed they could overcome the issues and find compromises as they both wanted it.

“I love you,” he said and simply lifted her off the floor.

“I love you, too, Mikey,” Y/N whispered back with a smile on her face.

And the happiness from the fact that they finally saw each other filled their hearts again.

– gif and photo aren't mine and belong to the rightful owner –

All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡

#michael clifford #5sos imagines #5sos blurb #5sos imagine #5 seconds of summer #michael clifford imagine #5sos #michael clifford angst #michael clifford x y/n #michael clifford x reader #5 seconds of summer imagine #michael 5 seconds of summer #5sos angst #michael 5sos #michael 5sauce #5sos fic #michael clifford blurb #writersdare #writersdare Michael 5sos

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lovermine · 2 years

Text

promising forever, clifford

desc: michael’s been sure she’s the love of his life for long enough, it was time for him to make the next big move when it came to promising forever

warnings for: a whole lot of tooth rotting fluff

michael feels bad for those unlucky enough to have not befriended her, or those that had lost her company in the past. because to those who don’t know her had never felt her grace. the kindness she showed to the people she encountered. she helped when she could, whether it was random chores around a house that she doesn’t even live in, or a shoulder to cry on when you had nobody else. every minute michael had come to know her he had fallen more in love. with the emotions inside of her, the moments where he could laugh with her over a great day, or the days where he held her after life had dealt a shit hand. and he fell in love with every inch of her skin, explored under moonlight nights with soft touches and whispers of love.

to michael, she was the blood pumping through his veins, the strength in his bones when he had his own shit hand. when he was missing home on tour and she would fall asleep on call with him, send him videos throughout the day recounting what she was doing so just for a minute, it felt like he was there with her. when nothing was going right in the studio and her fingers danced across his skin in all the right places to help him decompress. and she was the constant by his side throughout the good too, when their new single hit number one and she had run into his office to congratulate him the minute they found out, when they had bought their first house together and insisted they christen every room in the house with large smiles and promises of forever.

it was those promises that had brought him to this moment, when the assurances of their always were as strong as ever. his fingers play with the small black box in the pocket of his jacket, foot tapping along to the music playing over the speaker as he awaits her to come home from her night out with friends. she had insisted on coming home early, despite him telling her that he didn’t mind spending the night alone if she wanted to truly let loose. but she had never felt more free unless she was with him, she said. and he knew tonight was the night.

he hears her keys jingling on the other side of the door from his spot in the living room, casting a quick glance to the area he had set up in the garden over the past few hours before making his way to the hallway where he could greet her as she came in,“mikey!” her smile widens as soon as she meets his eyes, dropping her keys onto the small table by the door she could wrap her arms around him.

“hey, sweetheart.” he mumbles into the material of her dress as he rests his head against her shoulder, the dark green fabric reminding him of the time she had worn it out when the band had been celebrating another success. he can smell her perfume as he holds her close, ignoring the small voice inside of him that tried to tell him it could be the last time. she loved him, he knew that. but the weight of the box in his pocket still sent his nerves sky-rocketing. “how was your night?”

“was fun, i missed you though.” he pulls back to admire her face, every feature having being studied extensively by him through their relationship, yet her beauty still managing to catch him off guard every time his eyes meet hers.

“i missed you too.” he mutters with a sigh, as if finally having her with him takes a load of weight of his shoulders. it definitely felt like it did, she had a special way of making him feel like all his problems melted away. he finally presses a kiss to her lips for the first time since she walked through the door, hand on her hip squeezing slightly before he pulls away to slot her hand into his. “i have something to show you.”

“oh god, what did you do?” she giggles as he leads her down the hallway,

“you’ll love it, hopefully.” her eyes widen in surprise when they step into the living room, gaze landing on the set up in the garden they can see through the sliding doors. there are candles set up everywhere, on the patio chairs, the floor, the tables and along the fence. they glow into the night and from afar, they almost look like resting fireflies.

“michael?” she questions as he leads her into the middle of all the candles, standing in front of her with a nervous smile on his face.

“i uh..” he cuts off whatever questions she was about to ask, rubbing his palms on his jeans. the nerves that he felt in the hallway seem to be slipping away as he starts thinking about what to say, knowing that whatever he said was coming straight from his heart, that his statement of profound love was the easiest thing he could ever think about because it was all he did. he’s convinced it’s his life purpose to love the woman in front of him. “i’m not sure a lifetime is long enough to truly show you how much i love you, you’re my inspiration, my motivation, and i want to spend the rest of my life with you because i can’t imagine a day without hearing your voice, or thinking about when i’m going to be able to hold you next.” he takes her hands in his, flicking his eyes between hers that are looking at him with the most sincere amount of admiration that he thinks he could ever recieve and the way her fingers are tracing over his tattoos on his hands, probably being able to sense his nerves. “i’ve found myself thinking a lot lately about what’s next for us, because everyday with you feels like another step in the right direction. i want us to have the life that we’ve spent countless sleepless nights talking about, having our own family one day and experiencing every new adventure life will bring us.” michael lets out a deep breath he had been holding as he moves to get down on one knee, her free hands now moving up towards her face that is contorted into a mix of recognition and surprise. a quiet giggle leaves her lips as she realises what is happening, heart beating so loudly in her chest that she’s scared it’s going to drown out his words. “i love you so much it gets overwhelming in the best way possible, and it’s the only thing i ever want to feel, so will you marry me?”

“there is no doubt in my mind that we are forever, michael.” she places her hands on his wrists to gesture him to stand up, “of course i’ll marry you!” her voice almost cracks with tears as he takes her in his arms, both of them laughing with the highest feeling of glee that they had ever felt before. every moment in their lives, the ones before they had even met, had been a rollercoaster edging it’s way to the top just before the long drop, and this moment was the feeling of exhilaration crashing down onto them.

“i love you so much.” michael mutters, taking her face in his hands so he can press kisses to every inch of her face.

“i love you, and our family.” she whispers into the night, inching her face closer to his as she kisses him once again. she watches as his eyes flash with confusion for a moment when they pull away, processing her words.

“our family?”

“i was gonna wait to tell you..set up a whole thing.” she laughs at the idea now, knowing that no moment would have been more perfect than now, when they had confessed their desire to be bound in marriage beside candlelight under the sky of their shared home. neither of them are fans of the large romantic gestures, or at least the ones in public, confessing their love for one another was something they preferred to be theirs alone. “but i found out yesterday, michael, i’m pregnant.”

“oh my god,” a smile takes over his face and even though she had never feared his reaction, it brings her a sense of relaxation now that he finally knows. there was no explicit trying for a baby, but they both knew that they had been getting sloppy when it came to protection and when neither of them questioned it, it was almost like a silent agreement that they were ready for that step. maybe it was the same feeling he felt when he was getting ready to propose, knowing that they were absolutely ready for the large commitments because they were ones they never dreamt of experiencing with anyone else. “we’re having a baby!”

“we’re starting a family, mikey.” her pointer finger caresses the stubble on his cheek as she holds his face between her palms, admiring the wide smile and all his features that she wishes their child would inherit.

“i love you, both of you, with absolutely everything i have.” michaels voice drops to a whisper as he mutters into the night, as if the words are meant for her and her only. because they are, for her and the unborn child. the woman in front of him filling his heart with so much love it was almost painful, but it was a pain he never wanted to go away.

“we love you too.”

vai's thoughts: i absolutely love how this started but i kind of hate the ending, but michael is my baba and i need someone to be in love with me the way he’s in love with his girl in this fic. enjoy <3

link to taglist form <3 : @nimrats @arakuki

#🎧.vai’s work!#reblogs are appreciated !!#5sos fic #5sos fluff #5sos imagine #michael clifford imagine #michael clifford #michael clifford x reader #michael clifford x y/n #michael clifford fic #michael clifford fan fiction #michael clifford fluff #michael clifford angst #michael clifford blurb #michael clifford oneshot #michael clifford headcanon #michael 5sos

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 2 years

Note

If you're still taking requests, could you do one where the reader is Michael's fuck buddy and a fan records them on a date hanging out and someone recognizes the reader and basically get exposed and idk make it angsty where Michael accuses the reader of purposely exposing them or soemething and they end things and there's a time jump and idk I'm just in a angsty mood lmao

Written for Graduation Blurb Weekend. Today, May 8th 2022, is the last day to request.

Gender Neutral Reader Insert. CW: 18+ Content (Smut/Smut Adjacent). Read more is higher up for this reason!

Down We Fall

__________

You kiss at Michael’s jaw, lips scratched just a little by the beard he’s been growing over the last few weeks. You invite the feeling, the slight burn because behind that is the warmth in your gut as his hips rut into you.

“Fuck, baby,” he gapes into your skin. His breath is hot, his own body tingling and succumbing to the pleasure your body is giving his.

A small whine leaves your throat. “Please,” you whisper. The edge of release is teasing you with Michael’s painfully slow but hard thrust. You know he wants you there, begging him. He loves it. You wonder if he loves it because it makes him feel wanted. But you are happy to give into him, happy to make him feel euphoric even if it’s only for these fleeting moments.

“Please what?” Michael grunts pulling out of you.

“Please use me.” Your begging is punctuated by a thrust. “Yes, use me.”

Michael watches your mouth hanging open, head tilting back. Your throat looks back at him, the hickeys he planted there earlier are starting to blossom. His stomach flutters at the darkening skin. You are utterly gone beneath him. You are nothing but your desires, nothing but the heat in your gut, and the heat that you two share and Michael adores watching you like this.

Your release crashes through you. Watching you squirm, body tensing and relaxing in his arms. spurs Michael to finish soon behind you. His weight falls to the side of you after a moment of the haze starting to clear. You lay there for a minute longer and when the bed dips, you sit up, running your hands over your face. You’re trying to come back to yourself, trying to blink away the last few edges of ecstasy.

There’s still the whole afternoon. The errands you need to run--dropping off mail, groceries, stopping by your parents house to the family dinner that you said you’d attend since you dipped out last month. You weren’t looking forward to that part, but you had agreed and knew backing up the day of would surely have your father calling to gently urge you to at least call your mother.

Those are all the things that enter your mind that make it easier to peel yourself out of Michael’s bed. Not that you needed much prompting. The arrangement between the two of you was well understood even if it was understated. You hung out with Michael, slept with him, but never really pushed for more. He hung out with you. He slept with you, but also didn’t ask for more. Post his breakup, Michael had approached you one night. You wish you could say it was a mostly sober thing. Both of you were high, having ducked some of the guys to sit on Michael’s back porch and blew smoke into the seemingly starless night.

“You hungry?” Michael asks as the two of you pass each other. Him on his way out of the bathroom and you on your way into it.

“The usual?” you return over your shoulder.

“Of course. My treat.” Michael watches you as you walk through the threshold.

“Oh, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were taking me out on a date.” Your voice floats out from the bathroom.

He smiles a little and catches the flutter in his chest. Did he want to take you out on a date? Could what the two of you have even lead to something more? “Don’t tempt me. All I need is the word,” he returns.

“Of course.” You return from the bathroom a few minutes later to Michael halfway dressed. You watch the muscles of his back as he buttons up the pants. You should not be trying to savor this moment, and yet you are. You quickly find your clothes and redress yourself. There’s no time for feelings here. No time.

You follow behind Michael through the streets. You need your car because once the two of you are done eating you’ve got to get your day rolling. Normally, you might’ve gotten all your errands done earlier, but you’d been with Michael last night too. And by the time you got home, you had another time from him, asking you to come back again today. There was no way you were going to say no.

The restaurant doesn’t seem busy just yet, but you know that the lunch rush will be coming in the next half hour. So you and Michael order quickly and take your food to a table near the back to eat. Something you noticed Michael choosing to do a lot with you lately. But again, you know given his life and the fans, anything they could get their noses into the fans would. So you settle for the back table.

“Looking forward you family dinner?” Michael asks and he smiles a little already knowing the answer.

You scoff, dipping your fries into the ketchup. “So ready.” Sarcasm drips from the words and Michael snickers.

“You could always lie,” he offers. “Your neck isn’t looking so hot from this angle.”

You’d seen the hickeys and already figured you’d have to find a collared shirt or dig out something else to hide them as you were cleaning up earlier. “Yeah, and I wonder who put them there,” you counter, watching Michael duck his head a little. But you catch the rosy tint to his cheeks at your jest.

“What’s on your agenda for today?”

“Soak up the last few days of paradise. Tour rehearsals start next week.”

You nod. “UK and Europe is first, right?”

“Yeah, after that, the Americas and…” he trails off for a moment, trying to recall what’s next after the South American and North American legs. But his memory is failing him. You look behind him, back into the sea of the place and notice a group of girls huddled closely together. For a moment, you think they might just be friends huddling to gossip together, but a phone moves in closer in the direction of you and Michael and the whole group looks up at you.

You smile in return and they quickly look away, but you return your attention back to Michael. He’s still going on about all the places for tour but you quietly interrupt. “Don’t look now but your six, my twelve, are definitely some fans.”

A small sigh escapes Michael. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think anyone would recognize us.”

You shrug. “It’s your world Michael. I’m not mad. They don’t seem to be moving in. Just recording I think.”

It still causes Michael a small moment of discomfort. He was used to being recorded, knowingly and unknowingly. While the latter situation wasn’t okay, he’d just gotten used to it. But the thing he didn’t want was for you to fall victim to it either.

“Do you want to grab some boxes and then jet? I don’t--I don’t know how you feel about being filmed?”

You shrug, taking a bite of the sandwich. The action alone answers his question and the two of you stay seated and finish your meal. As you leave, Michael behind you, you in front, you spot the girls and give them one last smile to hopefully ease any tensions. They nod in return and then fall back into each other.

Michael watches the exchange only in passing and gives a smile too to the group. He’ll stop if they stop him, but if they don’t, he’ll keep going as to not put you in anymore awkward situations. He walks you to your car, his leftovers in his hand. “Don’t burn down your parents house alright?”

You lean up against the driver side door. “No promises.”

“I expect nothing less.”

__________________________________

Two days before Michael leaves for tour, he calls you late into the night. You know by the pant and whine in his voice what he is calling you for. You pause your work on your dishes and lean into the counter. “Take one hand and drag it up to your nipples, baby,” you whisper into the phone.

You listen for the exhale to crackle through the phone to let you know that Michael’s following the command. “It’s not the same,” he whines out a few minutes later, cock in his fist. “God, you’ve spoiled me.”

“I’m a ruiner. Now take your free hand and move down to your sac.”

Michael groans into the phone; he sounds a little muffled and you think he might be wearing his bluetooth headphones to have both hands free. But you listen for the harsh exhales and the curses Michael breathes out.

“Good-be good for me,” you command.

“I will. I am,” he returns.

You talk Michael through his orgasms and you clench at the sound of his haggard grunts and moans at his climax. “Wish I was there with you.”

“You could be,” he counters. Part of him wants you to be here, wants you to see him off. But feelings aren’t supposed to be a part of this.

“If you have tomorrow, I can be,” you offer.

“I’ll always have time for you,” Michael whispers.

____________________

You show up to Michael’s place the next day not too bright in the morning and when Michael answers the door, there’s a bit of sweat on his forehead. “Perfect timing,” he laughs. “Just got back from dog’s walk.”

You nod, adjusting the strap of your bag up onto your shoulder and step through the door as Michael steps to the side. “It’s like I’m a God,” you tease.

The late morning and early afternoon are spent buried in each other. From shower, to bedroom, to kitchen, Michael takes everything he can from you and you happily give it. You take what you can from Michael too. As the late afternoon turns into early evening, Michael suggests going out for dinner. He’s eaten through most of what’s in his house and what he knows will go back in his time away. Though he has friends checking up on the house in shifts, Michael made strides not to leave anything that would spoil. You happily agree to the dinner and refresh quickly.

The two of you barely get your drinks that you ordered before you spy someone holding out their phone. You look more directly in the direction and the phone is quickly lowered, when it’s clear you’re watching. Michael noticing your distracted attention looks over his shoulder and sees a couple people ducking closer together.

“Again?” he sighs.

You shrug. “Appears so.”

He looks back to you and spies you on your phone. “How do they keep finding us?”

You give another disinterested shrug. You know that the universe has a funny way of working and you’re not necessarily in the mindset to figure out the way it works. Michael keeps watch and he wants to take your unconcern to mean that you’re okay.

“I-I don’t want this to come across the wrong way,” Michael starts.

You set your phone down, having texted your brother back that you’re not at home for him to come by. You don’t tell him where you are, but instead offer to pick him up on the weekend. Your eyebrow arches. “You do realize that whatever you’re about to say is now like 2 times more likely to come across wrong.” You punctuate the sentence with a small laugh and motion for Michael to continue on.

“Do-do you know how we keep getting spotted?” He doesn’t want to believe you’re setting this up. But it’s starting to feel too much of a coincidence. The last thing he needs are rumors even before he’s ready to admit anything.

You blink, shaking your head for a second. “Are you asking if I’m leaking where we are?” You keep your voice low but push each sentence out through your teeth.

“I-I don’t--Look, I like hanging out with you and I like what we have. But if you want something or are trying to push for more, then I-I need to have an actual conversation. I don’t need leaks. And I don’t want this to sound like I’m accusing you. I mean coincidences do happen. But I-I just need to know you’re not doing this.”

You throw your phone at Michael and it hits the table with a harsh thud. The silverware shakes and clatters against each other. Michael tries to catch the device to soften the blow it’ll endure on the table. You’ve given him the passcode on a few occasions. “Check. Fucking check to see if I’m doing anything nefarious. We’ve been doing whatever this is, fucking and hanging out for months now. And yes, maybe I’m not sure if more is being built but the thing I would never do is out you and your location. As much as your fans are supportive, some are entitled. That puts you in danger. The last thing I want is to put you in harm’s way.”

Your hands shake a little in your lap. How could Michael come to any sort of thought that you’d be selfish enough to want your face connected to him by such manipulation and trickery?

“I’m-I’m sorry. I just, I had to ask. Please I believe you, okay. I’m sorry.” He places your phone down on your side of the table. Your eyes are narrowed in on him and he can see the tension in your jaw. The way you’re pushing out each exhale through your nostrils.

You wish now you’d driven here yourself. You rode with Michael, but sitting across from him is making your blood boil. “No, I want you to fucking check.” You unlock your phone and it takes all your strength not to chuck it at his chest. You hold it out and Michael shakily accepts the device. “Start with my latest text message. See who it was too.”

Michael taps on the Messages icon and then he sees your brother as your top thread. “It’s your brother.”

“Click on his name. Open up to make sure it’s his number.”

Michael does as instructed and verifies that it is the same number he has in his phone. “It’s his number.”

“Read my text to him.”

Michael goes back to the thread. “‘Not home tonight. But I can get you Saturday. Want a sibling ice cream date or is it bad at home?’”

Your parents had started to get into more verbal fights since you left home. Your brother, at sixteen, was stuck there and did his best to get out of the house when he could. You had chosen Michael and it sucks to know that he’s at home listening to fights. But you’d always rescue him when you could.

“Huh, sounds an awful like me being the big sibling here and wanting to save my brother from the fucking hellhole that our house has become for him. Find the next text thread. Go to my instagram. See who I’ve been DMing.”

Michael looks up to you, sees the fire in your eyes. “I believe you.”

“Check,” you return.

He sighs, swipes and finds the IG app on the second page. It takes a moment to load and when it does, he hovers over the message tab. “I don’t want to do this. It was wrong of me to phrase it like that.”

“Check.”

The tears are stinging behind his eyes because he knows. He knows that he won’t find anything. He knows that you’re doing this because every ounce of you is burning. “I can’t. I know. I’m sorry.”

You push away from the table, the glasses and plates clatter. You stop at his side and tap onto the icon. Even if Michael wanted to look, he can’t make out much from the screen as his eyes fill with more tears. You tap through the threads. “College roommate--they just graduated with a Masters. Friend from high school. They just had a kid.” And down and down the threads you go. When you’ve exhausted the threads from the last few months, you go to your camera roll. You go to Twitter. You show him your likes, your DMs there too.

With you standing in the middle of the back corner, you know you’re definitely causing a scene now. When you’ve exhausted every corner of your phone, Facebook, Snapchat, event the Camera Roll. You make sure to show even the deleted photos, the nudes you know too are on Michael’s phone, the silly memes you’ve needed to clear out for ages. You show him everything. All Michael does is mutter out his apologizes.

You take your phone in return. “Finish your dinner. When you get home, I won’t be there. I hope the tour is amazing. I hope each show is fucking incredible; I think your fans deserve an amazing show. But I fucking hope you miss me with each show too. I fucking hope when you look at them, you think about what you accused me of.”

You don’t wait for a rebuttal, only strut your way to the front and put in Michael’s address for the Uber.

Michael stares down at the table and watches each teardrop fall. He doesn’t order anything. Just counts the seconds. He imagines you in the back of the Uber, storming into his house, Throwing your bag back together. He imagines how you probably do say goodbye to the dogs and when you’re done, hold onto the spare key.

Half an hour later, Michael stands from the table, face pink and eyes full of tears that will spill soon. He makes sure to leave a large tip for the server and settles into his car. True to your word, when he returns, you are not there. He climbs the steps of his porch and tape to the door is a note.

Plant pot. Michael tilts up the pot on the front steps and sees not just one but two spare keys.

______________

You check your phone and notice the almost daily voicemail from Michael. Three weeks, 19 messages. Most of the early ones are apologies, Michael breathing heavily as he tries to keep back tears. You expect the same today. Though you never reply to him, never let him know you’ve got them, you listen to every single one of them.

As you press play, you continue your pour of the cup of water. Your brother laughs in the background as the show continues on. “Hey. I think you’re sick of my apologies if you’re listening to these. So I’ll skip my blubbering session and get to the meat of it. I do miss you. Every show has been mind-bogglingly incredible. I’m happy to see the fans. They have such great energy. But I see you in the crowd every night. You are haunting each and every show we do. Because I want you to be there. I want you to witness it too. I don’t know what spell you’ve cast, but your face haunts every show. Your cheer echoes in their cheer. Your smile lingers behind their smiles. You are in everything and I should’ve-I should’ve given you more benefit of the doubt. I was paranoid. I kept wanting you more and more, and in less physically intimate way. I wanted to tell you about Moose’s funny face. I wanted to tell you about the new recipes I tried and nailed. I wanted to talk to you about your day and listen to every single word you spoke because I wanted you in the emotionally intimate sense. I wanted to lie next you at night and talk about where we’d be in 5 years, if we’d have kids together, what a wedding could look like for us. I wanted to bake banana bread with you and play video games with your brother to show him I cared about him too. I wanted to go to family dinners with you and shield you and your brother from your mother’s comments. I wanted so much with you and I was too fucking scared to say anything, to admit that. And so now the ghost of you buries every high moment because I’m not sharing it with the actual you. I hope you’re doing better out there.”

The message ends. You play it back, listening to Michael’s voice with your eyes closed.

I hope you’re doing better out there.

169 notes · View notes

1994sunflower · 2 years

Note

You may have said this but does Michael still talk to his parents or were they in his life? If so an idea could be his parents meeting her and being even more shocked and for even more drama telling her whether its infront of Michael or he over hears that they don't make sense and she deserves someone better

No clue if that made sense. It could be after or before

i've mentioned this before: they’re around but he doesn’t have a good relationship with them so he tends to never see them or talk with them (if he could help it). he feels resentment and they don’t really believe in him or support — especially with how much trouble he became as he grew up, but that was just a consequence of their lack of understanding, regard and belief in him and his potential.

in which you meet his parents

It didn’t really make sense for you to be nervous. You were the one who begged Michael to introduce you to his parents. His estranged parents. If anyone had to be feeling worried (and frankly, dreading) of the meeting, it should be him. But yet you were the one who kept switching out what shoes you were wearing as you stared at yourself in the mirror.

You were wearing the prettiest dress in your closet. The baby blue color made you look like the innocent princess you were, at least to Michael’s eyes. But you wanted everything to be perfect, you wanted to make a good impression. You needed them to like you. You loved Michael so much and while you knew he didn’t get along with his parents, it would hurt if they didn’t like you for their son.

It didn’t mean you weren’t excited. You were finally going to meet your boyfriend’s family and learn more about his past that he held so much contempt for. And while you knew it had to be for a reason, and a part of you slightly resented his parents for not appreciating their son like he deserved, you hoped this could be a step for them to repair their relationship. With your optimism, there were so many good things that could come from this meeting.

But that’s why you wanted to make sure you looked your best. You’d gone through hundreds of outfits before you found the one you decided on and had gone over in your head all of the polite habits your mother had drilled into you since birth. You’d been like this since the moment Michael had told you he finally asked his parents after weeks of convincing him.

Yet your nerves just an hour before the event had you freaking out even more. “Okay, be honest.” You looked back at your boyfriend who was watching you with an almost bored expression. As if finally seeing his parents again after years of silence between them meant almost nothing to him. “Do I look okay? Presentable I mean…for your parents.”

You had a feeling you knew his answer. It was kind of easy to predict when he didn’t dress up specially at all. He had on a t-shirt and ripped jeans that made you two seem like you were going to vastly different places. But you supposed it fit how little he wanted to see his parents again and less about impressing them.

“I think it’s better than they deserve.” He muttered but eased up when he saw your glare. “You look pretty.”

“I just want them to like me.” You said but moved away from the mirror finally to let yourself be led to the car, satisfied with his approval.

Michael scoffed but stayed silent. It was cute, almost. How you thought you needed their acceptance of you. If anything, it was the other way around. They should be the ones worried right now to be in your good graces. You were the one he cared about, the one he would choose. It didn’t matter what they thought, it never would. The only reason you were meeting them was because you wanted to, otherwise he would have been fine with never seeing them again and never giving them the privilege of meeting you. They didn’t deserve it. And anyway, if they didn’t like you, it would just make Michael so much more certain that they were idiots who didn’t belong in his life.

But he was fairly certain they would love you. You were impossible not to love. He had firsthand evidence of that. Even he, as much of a bastard as he was, was powerless to stop it. He was sure they’d be wonderstruck at why it was you were at his side. Like he still is at times. So he wouldn’t blame them.

You’d imagined what Michael’s parents were like for a long time. You weren’t exactly sure what to expect. Granted, you didn’t have the best image of them. Michael had all but cut them off completely and you had to wonder how they treated him for him to be so…stoic and aggressive to the outside world. But despite that you couldn’t stop the big bright smile as his parent’s front door finally opened.

They looked just like Michael. They features all somehow represented in their son whom you loved so much. They were even almost as tall as him, not quite but much taller than you. And no matter what they were like, you think you’d always somehow be appreciative of them, at least a little, for bringing him into the world. So it made sense that you felt the sense of excitement at being in front of them after all this time.

Either you didn’t notice the way they somewhat froze when they took you in or you didn’t care. The way they had almost seemed to be braced to meet who their son whom they had such little hopes for had chosen as a girlfriend. But as their gaze drifted to his side, and downward, they couldn’t stop the surprise from showing on their face. Whatever they had expected, it wasn’t the small girl that looked as if she was the kindest, frailest thing the world had to offer with her big smile and big eyes. Especially not next to their towering son — so little next to him — that looked as if he was the meanest thing the world had to offer as he stared at them with cold, eyes as if daring them to do the wrong thing. The visual was clashing.

And that was why they couldn’t help but look at each other, lost for just a minute, before you spoke.

“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Clifford. It’s so great to finally meet you!” You stood on your tip toes for just a second as you spoke, like you were trying to make yourself taller but Michael knew it was just what you did when you were excited. When you extended your hand to shake theirs, his parents were even more sure with your manners that this had to be a joke. There was no way this well mannered, sweet girl is dating their son who they had long written off as a lost cause.

They shook your hand almost mechanically, the silence from them was somehow loud. Your own smile trembled a bit, unsure of whether you said something wrong. You looked up at your boyfriend for a clue, evidently unaware of the shocking visual difference between you and him. But Michael was too busy watching how caught off guard his parents looked, so much so that he almost laughed.

Michael’s mother spoke slowly, hesitantly, still trying to make sense of the situation in her head. “You must be Y/N, Michael’s….girlfriend?” She said it like a question, giving you a moment to say something that would finally make sense to her, that no, of course you weren’t. Because someone as bubbly and naive looking as you couldn’t possibly be her cold, troublemaking son’s girlfriend, couldn’t have captured his heart or been swooned by him. It had to be a joke of some kind, a trick.

But you nodded rapidly, your grin brightening in pride. “Yes! I am. I’m sorry it’s taken so long for us to meet, I’ve been asking Mikey to meet you for a long time.”

Mikey. It was then that their gazes finally drifted back to their son. Whom they had never heard such a cute nickname ever being given to, it didn’t suit him — or at least it didn’t suit their perception of who he was. Mikey wasn’t their son. Their son was a closed off person, constantly in trouble and defying their rules. Uncaring of his own future. Yet, the living embodiment of sunshine was calling him that as if he deserved it.

They were beginning to wonder if this was a cruel mind game he was playing on them. Until their son wrapped his arms around you, his numerous (more than the last time they’d seen him) tattoos so much more jarring when in front of you who had absolutely zero ink on your skin. You melted back into him so easily, your back to his chest. As if you were completely safe and at ease in his arms when they’d expect anything else — scared, uncomfortable. In fact, you almost looked comforted. And it wasn’t until they took a good look at their son who they saw grow up, they saw something they only could see because they’d never seen it on him before.

Protection. He was protecting you, from them. You were obviously someone important to him enough that he cared for you and they weren’t sure they’d ever seen him like that with another person, as antisocial as he was ever since he was a teenager. He still looked tense, stoic, but there was a level of calm and something eerily close to endearment in his eyes. But they weren’t sure he was capable of that. Yet, they were sure they couldn’t think of the last time Michael looked anything but angry and resentful in front of them. But this time you were there and those emotions weren’t for them, they were for you.

As they ushered you into their home for the casual lunch they had planned with a few awkward and tense chuckles and greetings. It was clear this wasn’t a joke, this was real. Michael had somehow gotten a girlfriend that went beyond their expectations for him and the questions of how, why, what this meant, were rampant in their minds. You didn’t seem like the type of girl they thought he’d end up with, if he ended up with anyone. And they didn’t know how their visibly delinquent son could be such a wholesome girl’s type. It didn’t fit even having you physically there was proof and they couldn’t imagine how your relationship actually worked enough for you to have been together for this long, this seriously that you’d be meeting each other’s families. Yet here you were.

Michael still hadn’t spoken at all, even when he took a seat next to you at the table. But he knew what they were thinking and it made him want to goad in their faces. Despite their little expectations, he loved someone, had someone amazing who loved him and was making a future for himself without even their support. Your chairs were conspiratorially close to each other but it was obvious by Michael’s position that he was trying to keep you at as much distance from his parents and towards him as he could. He wasn’t comfortable, he wasn’t happy, but his eyes were on you.

Michael’s mother served the food, smiling weakly at you. But it wasn’t in a way that made you feel like she didn’t mean it, it was in a way that made you think she wasn’t used to it. Maybe that was where Michael got his unfriendly demeanor from. But when you glanced at his father, you realized that wasn't true. His father was silent and just from his crossed arms and set jaw you knew he was a hard man to approach.

But luckily, his mother’s words were welcoming despite that. “Well, it’s so nice to meet you. I never thought I’d meet Michael’s girlfriend. And you’re so pretty!”

She wasn’t bubbly, her words were said slowly and calmly but it made sense that a woman like that raised Michael.

“Don’t know how you ended up with our son.” It was the first words Michael’s father spoke and while you giggled at first, thinking it was a joke, by the way no one else joined you, it might not have been meant as one. You faded away into more of a nervous chuckling.

“How did you two meet anyway?” Michael’s mother asked and you jumped to hold on to the question like a lifeline as the four of you began eating.

Them asking questions about you and your relationship was a good sign, a sign they liked you and didn’t reject you right off the bat. And as the questions kept coming, what do you study? where did you grow up? What are your plans for the future? It just made you happier that they were opening up to you. The way they cared to know about you because you were important to their son. From their interest, their approval as you told them your goals, your academic success, you could feel them take a liking to you.

“That’s great, dear!” His mother and father nodded along, “That’s really impressive to hear.”

But the more they learned about you, the more you couldn’t help but notice their eyes trailed over to their son. The son that, the more they heard about you, the less they understood how he ended up in your life, let alone beside you. Your achievements and personality were nothing like the son they knew, the one who slacked off in school and - with the rate he was going - they were sure would have ended with his future in jail rather than a career or family like the direction you were no doubt heading.

Yet the evidence was there. Especially when they could see each affectionate, intimate gesture between you. The way your hand trailed up and down his forearm in a comforting pattern, aware of his stress at the environment. Or even outlining some of his tattoos, no bit of discomfort at the amount or depictions of them on your face. The way he would lean down, his chin resting on your shoulder as he whispered in your ear.

The fact that he allowed it, initiated it even, when gestures so familial and loving had long since ended between them and their son. He hadn’t allowed that sort of interaction with anyone. It wasn’t something they thought he’d ever allow. But yet here he was. He was different from the last time they’d seen him, the angry resentful boy that grew to accept him as being. But he wasn’t entirely new. Especially when despite his sweet actions to you, he was as unmannerly as always. But it seemed to be even more painfully obvious with how painstakingly polite you were. Thanking them for the food, for hosting you, telling them how delicious everything was. With Michael glowering, not even acknowledging them if he could help it, beside you.

The more this discrepancy between you two was made obvious, and the more you didn’t seem to care about it, the more their questions turned to being about your relationship.

“So….how long have you been together?” His mother asked in what must have been an attempt to be subtle.

They were kind to you, and you were grateful because it meant despite you being different from Michael and even his family, they still liked who you were. But that didn’t mask entirely just how cautious they were of your relationship. As if they didn’t approve, as if it still felt too foreign for them to accept. And it bothered you, it hurt. Because no matter how much they’d given up on him and his future, you believed in him and knew he had a bright future ahead. One with a family, a life. One with you.

“About two years now.” You smiled, despite your annoyance at the subtle disapproval in her question.

“And…you’ve been—I mean, it’s been going good?” His mother wasn’t quite sure how to phrase it. Why have you lasted so long? Especially when there was every indication you shouldn’t work.

But even she couldn’t stop the surprise on her phase when your expression practically melted in happiness, beaming with a mixture of pride and adoration. “Yep!” You said, chipper. “I’m so happy I met your son. Honestly, I wish I could have met him sooner…”

It wasn’t anything you’d ever admitted out loud so you trailed off, looking away with a bit of a blush on your cheeks. You were a tad bit too embarrassed to even see Michael’s reaction to your confession. But it was true, you’d thought more than once how different your life would have been if you met Michael in high school, if you would’ve fallen in love much sooner. Because you knew you’d love him whenever and wherever it was you would have met.

But then Michael’s father scoffed and you felt Michael tense next to you. Whether because he felt as if you were being disrespected — the one thing Michael had no tolerance for — or because he knew was what coming next, you weren’t sure.

“Consider yourself lucky you didn’t.”

“E-excuse me?” You weren’t sure what you’d been expecting. Cute baby stories, photo albums of him growing up. But it hadn’t been those disillusioned words. And you almost visibly deflated, your ever present smile fading for the first time that afternoon. It almost hurt Michael to see but he knew this was inevitable.

“What were you, a straight-A, all-Honors student?” He guessed and you glanced at Michael hesitantly before nodding. “Well our boy here spent his time sneaking out, getting drunk and going out so much he barely came home, school nearly expelled him more times than I can count. God I don’t even know how he graduated. That’s who you would’ve met.”

“Is this you pretending like you gave a shit in the first place?” It was then that Michael spoke his first words of the day to his parents. He gave a sarcastic smile, one that was cold, distant, challenging. “Consider it thanks to your great fucking parenting.”

You turned to your boyfriend, eyes wide with worry — for him, for how he was feeling at the now not hidden disdain of his parents toward him. But also because you could feel this escalating and the last thing you wanted was for a full on argument between him and his parents. Maybe you shouldn’t have pushed him for this. He hadn’t wanted to see his parents and the reason was painfully obvious. The delicate peace — riddled with unspoken tension — had finally ruptured.

“Mikey…” You whispered, placing your hand on his arm as if that could calm him but his fierce eyes were on his father.

But his father’s eyes didn’t waver from his either. Together, you could see the similarities. The same facial features, the same aloofness that Michael no doubt inherited from him. And definitely the imposing and almost combative spirit they seemed to exude.

“And he talks!” His father said sarcastically and you waited for his mother to cut in, to stop the tense conversation as the voices started to get louder and louder, verging on screaming. To defend her son. But she just stared down at her plate. “At least you learned something, huh.”

“Yeah, I can say a lot of fucking words. I have a few I’ve been wanting to say to you.” Michael retorted.

And Michael’s father narrowed his eyes at the unhidden disrespect. He could imagine what Michael would curse at him with, “After all we put up with you, then you leave and don’t contact us for years like you’re the one that needs to get away from us. I have no idea how you tricked her into being your girlfriend. I have no idea how she put up with you for two years.”

Michael’s expression turned almost violent. His voice was loud and angry, matching his father’s. “You don’t know shit about me. And you don’t get to talk about her.”

His father didn’t deserve to act as if he had any moral (or otherwise) superiority over you when you were so above him in everything. You were kind, patient, understanding, loving. Especially of him, from the beginning. You didn't try to change him or think he was a lost cause. You didn’t give up on him like his parents did when it didn’t suit them anymore. You gave him a love that he had never thought a man like him would ever receive, one he still doesn’t know what he had done in a past life to deserve. His parents could never come close to you. They didn’t deserve to even be able to speak your name, let alone think they could judge you. Or try to convince you that you had been mistaken by being with him.

“Mr. Clifford I—it’s not like that at all. I’m in love with Michael…” You tried to interject with a calming voice. You didn’t ‘put up’ with Michael. He was wrong. You weren’t tricked into being with him. You wanted to be with him.

You knew what his father was saying — Michael had confessed to you much of the rebellious things he did all the way up to meeting you. It was a lot, it was scary and often it was reckless. You didn’t like hearing it and you wouldn’t endorse it. But you also knew how he stopped all of it once you started dating, you knew that it hadn’t just been him being someone who was worth giving up on but someone who had not been supported or cared for like he should have been. And that wasn’t his fault.

But it was Michael’s mother finally piping in that put the final nail on the coffin. Because her words weren’t one of support that you had been hoping for. “Sweetie, I think it is like that. I’m sure you think you know what you’ve gotten yourself into but…we know our son. You just don’t make sense. You seem like a lovely girl so trust me when I’m telling you that you deserve better. We wouldn’t want him to ruin that like we’ve seen him be capable of since he was a teenager. To end up…like he will."

You’d wanted them to like you and by her words it seemed like they did, but you didn’t want it if it came with them disparaging Michael. The love of your life. Their son. Who didn’t deserve this disrespect.

They were his parents. How could they say that about their child. Who they were supposed to love and support.

“No.” Your voice came out more certain and angry than you were sure they were expecting by the way they straightened their backs. You were little but you were just as protective toward your boyfriend as he was with you. “You don’t know him. At all.”

Not like you did.

You’d wanted so much for this evening to be perfect. But they were wrong about him. So it didn’t matter if you were slightly terrified of making them hate you by the end of this, you wouldn’t let them mischaracterize him and make him feel unworthy like he had felt his entire life.

“Michael is an amazing man who has always made me feel loved and protected. We might be different but we love each other and I want a future with him. And nothing you say will change my mind. He’s made mistakes but he tries. You should be proud of him as his parents instead of speaking down to him. I’m proud of him, I believe in him, I see how special and good he is, especially with me. You don’t see the Michael I know, he’s sweet, he’s funny, he’s understanding and supportive. He’s exactly what I deserve and I hope to be what he deserves. He’s done amazing for himself without any support, he’ll continue to do even better and he’ll ‘end up’ thriving no matter if you think otherwise. With me still at his side. And if you can’t see that or see how great your son is, then that’s your problem. Not his."

And if it was your purity they were worried about…too late. You felt the hurt in your chest for them to think Michael should be with someone unlike you.

Your back was pin straight as you almost tried to shield Michael from his parents, failing miserably with your small frame but not caring anyway. But even as you were breathing heavily after your defensive rant, you still had the eyes of the kind girl you were even within that scowl on your face. You glanced down just for a second.

“With all due respect.” You added before returning your gaze to them.

The silence was deafening. They just stared at you and at Michael behind you. Their eyes were wide as if they couldn’t quite process your words but you hoped they did. You hoped they finally understood how much they were missing out by treating Michael like he was only his mistakes and rebellion.

You couldn’t see it but Michael was staring at you too. Though his eyes were infinitely softer. He’d never heard his soft-spoken girlfriend get so heated, especially to defend him. But he felt a sensation of gratitude he didn’t often feel seize him. He loved you so much. For defending him, for caring about him so much despite how right he knew his parents were. You did deserve better. But you still chose him. You saw him worthy and fought for him to see that in himself. You were the most important person in his life and he was in awe to hear you stand up for him against his parents.

His parents who felt as if they were hearing about a completely new person as they were confronted with a side of their son they didn’t know existed. And perhaps it hadn’t, before you. But the soft gestures between you, the more subdued boy they had in front of them today that they hadn’t seen before were evidence that you weren’t lying. Though the rough-around-the-edges boy they had tried so hard to raise was still there, illustrated by just how cold his eyes were, how snarky he had been to them just moments before.

But by how passionately you defended him it was clear you were right, they didn’t know their son. And despite their still disappointment in him, their cautiousness, and the way they likely would never change their minds about him completely, they could still be somewhat relieved that he had that kind of love in his life. Even if all that positive influence didn’t come from them.

They didn’t apologize. But things de-escalated.

Michael’s mother was the first to start it. She glanced at her son, silent, angry looking, and tried to see what you saw. “You might be right. And I hope you are.” But whether she meant about his future, his new present, you knowing him more than they did or their being wrong about him — you didn’t know what she was referring to. But you knew you were right. About all of it.

So you just raised your chin more and nodded. His mother looked down at her plate and you had a feeling you both were thinking the same thing. You hoped she had a chance to meet that side of her son, one day. If he chose to forgive them. But that wasn’t your choice and you wouldn’t force the decision on him.

The lunch continued on in awkward silence. Part of you thought Michael’s dad may hate you now but even after all that he refused to give Michael even a chance then you may hate him too. And you never hated anyone, so that was saying a lot. Michael’s mother had taken to eating small portions, her mind clearly no longer on the food and being a good host for you.

Michael for his part had abandoned his food. His hand just barely holding his fork but the stroking of his free hand on your arm, your thigh, your back showed that deep gratitude and love that he couldn’t express. Especially not in this environment where he was so tense and vulnerable. You could only imagine how it was when it was just him against parents who had already given up on him.

You took his hand, squeezing it. Wrapping your arms around his muscled arm, hugging yourself to him. Lunch was over. It had been for a while. But before you could do the most impolite thing you had ever done in your life and leave with him in the middle of meeting his parents, his mother spoke.

“I can get you the photos.” She said, then amended. “You said you wanted to see Michael when he was in high school. I have photos from when he was a baby to his graduation. All in one photo album. You can take it back with you, if you want.”

You tensed and glanced up at Michael. You’d already forced him to see his parents again, against his wishes, and put him in this judgmental and awful environment. You wouldn’t betray him by making niceties with them after they’d shown you just how they treated the love of your life. No matter how excited the prospect of glimpsing into his adolescence, what the man you loved looked like in the innocence of childhood — before his tattoos, before he gained his stoic and mean exterior — and just before you met him, in high school when your roads were so close to dissecting but you were completely oblivious.

And sharing that with his mom would feel so familial, so much like she had already accepted you as her future daughter-in-law. It was almost too much for your fluttering heart to bear. But you would. If Michael wanted you to.

But Michael would never ask you to. He loved you too much to deny you any happiness. Even if it meant dealing with his parents. So he gave you a soft nod and was at peace when he saw the big smile fill your face again as you turned to his mother and nodded excitedly.

“I’d love that.”

Lunch didn’t last much longer. The tension hadn’t dissipated either. But despite everything, the day didn’t end in complete disaster. You were a buffer between Michael and his parents like you had been from the moment they opened the door. Michael was still snappy, when his father was staring at him — “What?” paired with a glare—, when his mother offered both of you food for your journey back — “No.” All you heard was grumbling when you finally stood and his mother thanked you for coming and told you to come back.

But finally, the day was over. He didn’t have to endure this particular torture anymore, he could go back to not seeing his parents anymore, not even having to think of them, and instead go back to his life where he was loved and believed in — by you.

He didn’t look at his parents when he took your hand and began tugging you towards the front door. But it was hard to miss his mother’s crestfallen look. Though strangely, he knew it wasn’t disappointment in him this time like it had been every other time he saw that expression. It was disappointment at being excluded and clearly unwanted by the side of him only you got to see, one that wasn’t available for her.

You were stuttering out semi-sincere thank yous. Trying to keep up with Michael’s fast steps out of there. Ever the sweet girl you were and there it was again — the wonder in his parents as they stared at you. So polite, so nice even after everything, even when you didn’t have to be. And the complete opposite of their son who was literally walking away without a word. It was still shocking that their son had gotten a girlfriend like you, that you cared so deeply for each other.

But there wasn’t any of that doubt that they had when you had first shown up, the thoughts of how little sense you made. Because that wasn’t true anymore. His mother took your other hand and for a moment Michael stared at her for the first time that whole day. His gaze was angry, at her daring to touch her, at her trying to take you from him.

But she made no move to take you from his grasp. Instead, she held your hand and gazed into your startled eyes. “I’m happy he found someone who loves him like you do.”

And she had failed as a mother to give him that. But you wouldn’t fail. You felt tears in your eyes when you nodded at her. You couldn’t speak because you know you’d end up sobbing.

You hated how they treated Michael. But you were still glad you convinced him to bring you. Despite the mishap. Because you got them to hear how important and special their son was, mad them see him how you did, at least for a moment.

Michael’s father stood next to his wife, in front of Michael. They were both huge but Michael was just a bit taller. They didn’t touch, they barely looked each other in the eyes. They might visually fight each other until one submitted and looked away first if they did — both such assertive and brute men.

But Michael’s father broke the ice. He didn’t sound warm, he was tense and awkward but it wasn’t the cruel words he had spoken earlier to his son. So it was a win.

“We like her. She wasn't who we expected you to end up with but...” Both of them glanced at you for a moment. You didn’t notice, still in your moment with Michael’s mom, photo album in your hand. It was a pleasant surprise for them but shocking nonetheless. “Don't mess this up. She’s a keeper, Michael.”

Michael struggled not to scoff. He didn’t care if they liked you. Their opinion of you didn’t matter — it wouldn’t have changed anything even if they didn’t. The only reason he let them meet you was because you wanted it. In honesty, the opinion that held the most weight was yours.

But he also knew how much it would mean to you when he told you that they liked you, your whole hope for the day with his parents. So for the first time since he was a child, his answer to his father wasn’t full of resentment and rebellion. He stared at your profile as you smiled at his mother, kinder than they deserved. Kind like you were to your very being. So unlike him. But, despite the odds, his. He knew how much you bettered his life, his future. A blessing and love he didn’t deserve but one he was so thankful for anyway. He was never planning on letting you go.

“I know.”

#5sos #5sos imagines #michael clifford #michael clifford x reader #bad boy michael #michael clifford angst #michael clifford fluff #michael clifford imagines #bad boy fluff #bad boy angst #5sos fluff #5sos angst #college au #5sos smut #michael clifford smut

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saucymalum · 2 years

Text

Mike & Ike pt.6

Platonic!Michael Clifford x gn!reader (aka Ike)

Summary: In reference to the candy Michael refuses to call Y/N anything other than Ike. Or just the shenanigans of Michael and his childhood best friend.

Originally Posted on Instagram

Please interact with this post so I know I should post more

There is no plot, please don't expect one

(although there is a slight one sometimes, this is one of those times)

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#michael 5sos #michael 5 seconds of summer #michael clifford #michael clifford angst #5sos fanfic #calum 5sos #5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke 5sos #5sos imagine #5sos x reader #calum 5 seconds of summer #ashton 5 seconds of summer #luke 5 seconds of summer #5sos smau

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bartxnhood · 2 years

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complete | m.c

michael clifford x reader

summary: you surprise michael after his long tour, all he’s been wanting is you.

warnings: none

a/n: time for some mikey appreciation, i love him sm and i rarely see anyone writing for him :( this is also my application to become ur fave 5sos writer lmao. enjoy ! feedback is appreciated <3

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

as the tour officially came to an end and the guys went back home, it was days in the studio for michael writing and creating melodies for the guys. he loves it, sure. it’s his passion after all. making music people can enjoy no matter how high or low one is feeling, seeing fans across the world sing and dance along to their music is what kept him going. but it was draining. incredibly draining. sometimes he’d forget to sleep, it would be seven in the evening then the next time he looked at the clock it was already five in the morning. he would even forget to eat as well. but he missed you most of all, he was gone for months and all he wanted was to feel your soft touch and the sound of your voice.

you missed michael too, his dorky jokes whenever the two of you hung out. getting to hear snippets of their upcoming songs or projects. he was your soulmate, you hated being away but also it was the price of dating a very well-known artist. when you got the news your boyfriend and best friends were back you had cleared it with everyone that you’d surprise your boyfriend. you brought some of his favorite foods and a few sweet treats to congratulate him on the successful tour.

knock knock

michaels head lifted from the computer, he looked at the door and raised his eyebrows. he wasn’t expecting anyone. especially not at the studio. he pushed himself away from the desk and walked over, opening the door and revealing you. you had a wide grin and multiple bags in hand. “hi!” you cheered, michael chuckled in disbelief he stood to the side letting you come in. similarly to him, you were in a hoodie and sweatpants. “what are you doing here?” he asked, shutting the door quietly following you. you sat down the bags of food and turned to your boyfriend who looked awful. not in like an ugly way, but like ‘oh my god you look dead, why haven’t you slept’ type of way.

your grin went to a frown almost immediately. “babe, your eyes” the faux blonde shook his head, “i’m okay” he tried to assure you but it only made you worry even more. you wrapped your arms around his tall figure, holding him tightly. to michael this is all he wanted, taking in your scent again. he closed his eyes feeling at peace for the first time since returning home. when you pulled away he felt his heart skink a bit. he wanted to hold you longer.

“what did you bring?” his eyes flickered to the bags then back to you. “well” you started, bending down and fishing out a few products. “i have some of your favorites and a few sweets so we can celebrate your successful tour” the grin on your face made him smile. he nodded and led you over to his sofa where the two of you would sit and eat a little of everything while michael told you stories of tour life.

it was getting later in the night now, you two had been talking for hours. just missing each other. you stood up from the cushion and started cleaning up all the trash decorating the sofa. michael watched, you could be doing the most absurd thing and he would still think you were the most beautiful person on the planet.

gently he reached out for your arm, “could you hug me again? i think i need it” you turned to look at him, giving him a nod. “you didn’t have to ask.” you crawled back onto the sofa and held michael. “i missed you so much” he breathed, his arms resting on your torso. you smiled, kissing his forehead. “i know. but get some rest, yeah? you deserve it”

within minutes, he was fast asleep in your arms. soft snores escaping his lips. this was all he needed, you and your touch.

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lipringlrh · 1 year

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kiss you forever - lrh

summary: luke wants you to do his eyeliner for his show.

pairing: luke hemmings x genderneutral!reader

an: this won the poll thing i did so please lmk if you like it :)

word count: ~800

requested:

feedback appreciated!!

…

You had barely reached the venue and Luke was already pulling you into his dressing room. He was hurrying around everywhere, stressing over every little detail.

He wasn't usually this anxious but he was playing in Sydney tonight and wanted everything to be perfect. His family was here and you'd be joining them shortly, you just couldn't help seeing Luke beforehand.

You were dragged towards the mirror and watched as he sat down in the twisty chair. He moved the height down so your head was above his and then proceed to grab a few items off the counter. He held them in one hand, reaching the other out to grab yours and manoeuvre you into standing between his legs. His head was just below yours, looking up at you. He grabbed your other hand, wrapping it around a thin tube, before taking the lid off for you.

You stared at him blankly, waiting for him to give you some instructions. He sighed, wrapping his hands around the hand which held the tube, pulling it towards his face. "Need you to do my eyeliner, angel."

You just looked at him, tilting your head to the side, trying to calm him and tease him at the same time. He sighed and pressed a kiss to the side of your face, "pretty please."

You nodded smiling, before focusing on his eyes. He had a pretty shimmer plastered all over the lids, and multiple dots from where he had failed to take off the previous failed attempts at the eyeliner.

You grabbed the wetwipe packet from the counter, taking one out and folding it into a small square. You dabbed it at where you could see the marks, making sure to miss out the eyeshadow as much as possible.

When you finished, you picked up the eyeshadow palette, hoping to reapply the product you took off. "Which shade did you use, lu? S'really pretty."

He pointed towards the shimmer in the top left and moved to grab the brush he used, then refocused back at you. You're sure that was the first time he took his eyes off of you since you started.

You reapplied the shadow quickly but carefully, Luke struggling to keep his eyes closed for the few seconds you needed him to. His hands found your waist, grabbing you and moving you ever so slightly closer.

You finished, and moved closer to him letting Luke pass you the eyeliner again. "What look are you going for?"

"M'thinking maybe a small wing? Subtle but you can tell it's there." You smiled up nodding at him. You reached your hands up to cup his face, bringing it closer to yours.

You brought the pen up to his face, beginning the eyeliner. You dragged his face closer again, making sure there's no chance you screw up.

You finished and turned his head to either side, double checking your work then admiring it and Luke simultaneously.

You had yet to realise the close proximity of your faces but Luke had. It took everything in him to not kiss you in that moment. You were holding his head up in your palm and he couldn't think of anything that could make him melt more.

His cheeks were stained a deep red and his eyes were flicking all around your face, from your lips to your eyes and back again. You noticed this, then how close you were, and felt your breath get stuck in your throat. You eyes were pinned on his lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss him. You needed to speak; to say anything, yet Luke consumed all your thoughts.

"You look so pretty, Lu." You whispered as though it was a promise. Your thumb was moving against his cheek, brushing over his lips, sending butterflies into his stomach.

"S'all you lovie." He whispered back, so quiet you almost missed it. He leaned in closer to you, tilting his head and letting his lips meet yours. It was soft and sweet, making warmth overtake your whole body. His hands moved from on your waist to wrap you in a hug, letting you move to rest one of your legs over his in the chair. You couldn't help but grin into the kiss as your stomach erupted.

You pulled away, hoping the feeling would linger on your lips. Luke's cheeks were burning, "I could kiss you forever, you know." You giggled in response, pulling his jaw up to meet you in a kiss once again. You let your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging slightly on his curls, letting you both get lost in the moment once more.

…

requests are open and feedback is appreciated!

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getsojaded · 1 year

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you don't go to parties iii | calum hood

a/n: I DID IT GUYS R U PROUD OF ME

i was in a bigggg writing funk before this and i’m glad i got it done. sorry for making u guys wait so terribly long for it. i love u

warnings: calum hood x she/her reader, lowercase intended, calum's a mess (slight alcohol tw) angst happy ending

—

calum ghosted himself from everybody since that encounter with him, y/n, and his bandmates.

the other three boys tried their absolute hardest to get a word out of him, making endless phone calls, sending texts every ten minutes, and they even tried knocking at his door. calum ignored all of them, and gradually, it all just stopped.

he didn't really know what to do with himself. he had been so used to an environment full of so many people around him, and now? only having, himself, his dog and a few guitars? this felt new to him.

he also hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since him and the boys' fight.

looking back at it, calum knows he might have not reacted in the best way possible. he was angry, he really was. seeing his ex-girlfriend leave michael's house with all three of his bestfriends there was almost the last thing he expected to see, and it took him aback. but he knows he had no right to start yelling at all of them.

he's tried reaching out. in calum's head, luke seems like he would be the easiest to talk to – they've known each other since they were sixteen ; they tell each other everything. so why couldn't calum just muster up some courage and call him? text him, even?

as he sits at his couch with his phone in his hands, he looks at the message he's typed out.

hey guys, i know this is kind of out of the blue but i wanted to say sorry to you guys in person. i did some really fucked up shit and i know you guys were just looking out for me. do you think we could all meet up?

he deletes it before laying on the couch and going to bed.

—

initially, calum's woken up by a ding!, indicating somebody's texted him. slightly suprised, but not awake enough to care, he ignores it and attempts to go back to sleep. that happens to be unsuccessful as his phone starts ringing.

sitting up from the couch slightly annoyed, he picks up the phone and rubs his eyes. "hello?" calum groans.

"calum?" a slurred voice rings through his ears, and that's all it takes for him to jump back into full consciousness. "calum! you answered!" y/n happily exclaims through the phone, and he already knows she's had something to drink.

"are you okay, y/n?" calum softly asks while he walks to his bedroom.

"i'm okay! i'm at the bar alone and i had a few shots, and i started thinking about you. the boys told me that they haven't heard from you in about a week or so, and i didn't contact you because i was scared i was gonna make it worse. but i was thinking about you and i got really worried, so i called you to make sure you're okay," y/n rambles, sighing as she finishes closing her tab, picking up her bag from the table and walking towards the exit.

"you're – you're alone?" calum asks, concern laced in his voice and his face although she can't see it. "yeah, i'm just about to leave. anyways, thanks for answering. i'm glad to hear you're okay-"

"y/n i swear to god if you end this phone call right now," calum sternly tells her in response, picking up his keys and making his way to his front door. "where are you?"

"you know where i am," y/n responds softly. "you have to know where i am."

calum stops in his tracks for a brief moment before fully understanding what she means by that.

"stay there, please. i'm on my way."

—

she's sitting on the side of the pavement, a cig in her hand while she waits for him to get there. she doesn't smoke very often, but when she does, she knows her emotions are taking over.

after y/n heard from michael that calum hasn't spoken to him or the other boys in over a week, she started to feel stressed out. was the slight fallout between all of them her fault? should she have hung out that one day with michael, and maybe everything would have been okay?

she's clouded in her own thoughts, a hand on her head while she takes the last hit of her cigarette before throwing it on the ground and putting it out with the heel of her shoe. headlights start to approach her, and from the car model, she already knows that it's calum.

she gets up and lightly brushes off her body before walking towards his car. calum quickly puts his car in park before rushing over to y/n and helping her into the passengers seat of the car.

"hi calum! good to see you." y/n tells him with a lazy smile on her face, looking up at him. the happy feeling is not reciprocated, as he looks at her with a nonchalant face and nodding to adress her.

he's back in the drivers seat, putting the car back in drive when she starts to speak up again. "are you mad at me?"y/n asks softly, playing with her fingers and not making eye contact.

"i'm not mad," calum starts. "i'm just, a little disappointed. you know better than to go out alone. you know that's not safe. i was just worried about you." he breathes out heavily, focusing on the road.

"that's not what i'm talking about, y/n responds, looking at him with a sad smile. "i'm asking if you're mad at me for seeing michael, luke and ashton. i'm asking you if you're mad at me for.. for leaving you."

"y/n, i don't know if we should be talking about this, at least right now we shouldn't..." calum trails off, closing his eyes for a split second.

"you can tell me the truth, cal. you can hate me."

he looks to his right, just to see her face for just a second, and she sees her looking at him with watery eyes and a small frown. she's on the verge of tears, and he can't let that happen.

taking his right hand off the wheel and reaching for her hand, he grabs it and intertwines it with his, his thumb rubbing against the base of her thumb.

"i don't, y/n. i don't hate you. don't think i ever could."

she nods silently, and the conversation comes to an end before calum reaches her house. he exits his side and opens y/n's car door to walk her to her front door.

“thanks for helping me get home,” y/n whispers to the boy helping her stand up while he takes out her keys from her purse. not saying anything, calum unlocks the door and walks the both of them inside, shutting it behind him and helping her take off her shoes.

she’s in her change of clothes and the two of them are sitting next to each other when calum asks, “why did you go to the bar tonight?” y/n’s still kind of out of it, and she can’t quite yet process the entirety of her situation. so while she’s sitting on the edge of her bed next to calum, she does what she feels is best — pour her heart out.

“i told you earlier, i’ve been thinking about you. i’m worried about you cal.. i have been even before you stopped talking to your best friends. i know how you’ve been acting, partying and all. and i guess… i guess like i feel that it’s my fault? i never gave you a chance? i just, i just kind of got up and left without telling you.. i shouldn’t have done that. and now, the first time we talk to each other in months is a result of me getting too drunk needing help… you hurt me a lot but i didn’t realize how much i hurt you.. and i’m sorry. it’s long overdue but, i’m really sorry. if i could go back and do it over again i would.”

calum’s glassy eyes meet her sad ones as she shoots him a small smile. “please don’t be mad at them,” she finishes, talking about luke, michael and ashton. “they love you so much, and they want what’s best for you. they’re worried about you, just like how i am.” she takes her hand and gently cups calum’s face, leaning her forehead against his.

“you did nothing wrong,” he breathes out, his voice shaky. “nothing was your fault, y/n. i promise.” he can’t have this conversation. not yet. not while the girl in front of him isn’t sober, and not while his thoughts aren’t collected properly. hell, y/n might not even remember this the next day.

“y/n, i have to go. i’ll text you tomorrow to ask how you’re feeling.” calum states, getting up from y/n’s bed and beginning to leave, but she stops him by grabbing his hand. “no, it’s late. i made you pick me up. the least i could do is let you stay here,” she pleads softly, holding her grip on his hand tighter. “please don’t go.”

and while calum knows he shouldn’t do it, he sighs and enters the bed in the empty space that drunk y/n made for him. he makes sure to leave a good amount of space between the two, even if it means he's on the verge of falling of the bed.

calum's doing everything in his power to what felt like for once, to do the right thing. he's hurt her one, two, three many times before and he feels like he's walking on eggshells in this moment.

his back is facing hers and yet he still can't sleep. he can't stop thinking of all the mistakes he's made and how much pain he's caused to the one girl he's only truly loved. he also thinks about his bandmates, his brothers. how could he have acted so recklessly towards them? he knows that he knows better, and yet he still didn't show it.

despite his better judgement, calum turns around to face y/n, out like a light. she looks comfortable – she looks at peace. calum subconsciously forms a small smile, and moves the few hairs out of her face.

and in this moment, he vowed to do better. be better. not only for her, but his bestfriends, and himself.

—

he’s surprised when he sees the caller id pop up on his phone. not only that, but he’s kind of scared as well. after not talking to him for what felt like the longest they’ve ever gone without doing such, how do you approach the conversation?

luke picks up calum’s call on the third ring. “hey, cal,” he begins. “luke, i know i have a lot to explain and i just wanted to say that i’m sorry. but i think it’s better if i come talk to you in person, do you think we could do that today?” calum asks.

“i’ll be at your place in ten minutes.” and with that, luke’s out the door.

—

“you look like you haven’t gotten any sleep.” luke states the second calum opens the door for him. “i haven’t. i also haven’t changed my clothes in 3 days,” he responds, gesturing to the black hoodie and grey sweatpants he has on.

the two take a seat on the couch across from each other before calum cuts right to the chase: “i stayed at y/n’s house last night.”

luke looks shocked when the words leave his mouth, “what? how? why?”

“she called me, and she was at the bar alone. she said she was just leaving and that she called me to tell me she was thinking of me, but i couldn’t just let her get home alone so i drove to her and dropped her off. and she was saying… she was saying how she feels like it’s her fault i acted the way i did after our breakup. and, that if she could ‘do it all over again’ she would. i tried telling her nothing is her fault, but i don’t know if she took it. then she asked me to stay the night, and i did,”

“what’s the matter, cal? why did you not want to talk to us? what’s going on?”

it’s evident that luke’s concerned, and it’s written all over his face. he looks almost scared ; scared for his best friend — his brother who he loves so much.

“luke, i don’t know,” calum’s voice breaks, looking at him. “i saw you guys with y/n and it just - i just raged. i’ve never felt so mad in my life and i can’t blame anyone for it but me. and then seeing y/n act the way i did - do, i realized that the stress and hurt i was feeling was something that you guys were feeling about me, if not even worse. i didn't realize that i was ruining my life. with all the parties i threw and went to, all the fucking alcohol, i saw it as my way only out. but it wasn’t. it changed me, and for the worse. i’m so sorry, luke. i’m so sorry to you, and ash, and mike. i’ll apologize for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes,” tears are running down the both of their faces as luke pulls him in for a hug.

“it’s okay, cal. it’s okay. we know you’re in a tough spot, and we’re here to help you. we were just worried. we all are.” luke reassures calum as he sobs into his arms.

"i need- i need to call ashton and michael. tell them i'm sorry. i need to-" "hey, hey, don't worry. i'll tell them to come here. it's okay cal, we'll all be okay. don't worry." luke cuts him off, pulling away and walking towards the kitchen.

"hey, i know it's kind of early, but somebody's here to see us. and it's important, so you might wanna get here fast."

within 15 minutes both boys opened luke's front door, to be greated by their teary eyed bandmate. they're already struggling to contain their emotions, and they all pull calum into a group hug. countless confessions, apologies, and tears are shared, and at the end of it, all four boys are certain of one thing:

that it's gonna be okay.

–

calum doesn't receive a call from y/n until the evening.

she's nervous, she's so fucking nervous; she could barely click his phone number. she's worried and embarassed and all around scared. she barely even knows what she's going to say to him.

"hello?"

"hi." she simpy responds, breathing in deeply. "sorry for not calling you sooner, i just finished my shift. and, thank you for helping me last night. i know it was out of your way."

"don't apologize, it's alright. and it was no problem, i'm just glad you ended up home safe."

there's silence on both ends before y/n speaks up again. "are you busy right now? do you think, do you- can i come over?"

"oh i- oh yeah totally, for sure." what the fuck. calum feels like a thirteen year old boy talking to his middle school crush for the first time with the way he's stumbling across his words.

"okay, see you." and y/n abruptly ends the phone call before rushing out of her house.

calum's sitting and fidgeting with his hands when y/n knocks on his door. slowly walking towards and opening it, he's greeted by the girl with a small smile on her face, wearing pyjamas and one of his old tour hoodies. "hi."

"hi, come in," he holds the door for her and she walks inside, kicking off her shoes, then following calum into the kitchen where he's grabbing two glasses. "want a drink?" he asks, her nodding in response before filling the glasses with water.

"i know you're probably wondering why i asked to come over," she starts, taking a big gulp from her glass. "and honestly, i'm kind of, uh, scared. nervous. but i know we needed to talk, about a lot of things. about us. about, everything really. and, i don't know if i'll ever be brave enough to say this again."

calum can almost feel the nerves radiating from y/n. to calm her down, he walks towards her and takes a seat next to her on the island, lightly placing his hand on top of hers before gesturing her to continue.

"i.. i know i shouldn't have left the way i did. i left you with nothing. no note, no 'goodbye', no anything. and i've regretted it ever since." she confesses, closing her eyes.

calum turns to face y/n, sadness planted on his face. "i understand why you did. i fucked up, beyond compare.. and, you did what you felt was best." this was gonna be a hard conversation to have. "yesterday.. you said, that if you could do it all over again, you would have. what do you mean by that? our relationship? or?"

"no, i meant, the end of it. we didn't even have a breakup – i just took my shit and left. i should've given you a chance to explain, have a fucking conversation like adults and instead i just, i was a coward! i just fucking left you. how could i have done that?!" y/n's visibly starting to get upset, tears forming from her eyes as she tries to continue. "and then i kept hearing what you were doing, and i couldn't help but feel like i'm the one to blame for that. maybe things would have gone better if i just, let you say something, anything to me. but i didn't. and for that, i am so, so sorry. i'll never be able to apologize enough for that."

calum's about to speak up, to tell her that nothing was her fault, that she shouldn't have to apologize, but she keeps going. "and then, at michael's house. i never meant to hurt you. they were just, looking out for you and they wanted me to try and help you. when you came over and i saw the look on your face, i-i felt even more guilty, and then.. and then mike told me you went m.i.a on them, and i just - it's all my fucking fault, isn't it cal?"

y/n's in hysterics by the end of her sentence, and calum can't stand to see the sight of her in pain because of him again. he pulls her into his arms, stroking her hair while he whispers everything from no, no it's not to it's okay.

"it's not your fault, i promise, y/n, it's not," he tries to reassure her. "we both made a mistake. everything i did.. the way i acted, it's on me," calum whispers, holding her tighter, hoping that would help take all her pain away.

"i'm sorry i never realized i was leaving you behind. you're the most important person to me, and the one thing i thought i'd never do was hurt you. but that's exactly what i did. and for that.. i'm not sure i'll ever forgive myself. i lost the one thing i thought that i would have for the rest of my life, and there's nobody to blame for that but myself. not you. it was never you." calum confesses, his throat tightening up as he prepares to cry for what felt like the hundreth time that day.

she pulls away slightly, her broken, tear-stained eyes facing his soft brown ones. "i care, so fucking much about you. and knowing you were upset, and turning to alcohol, i just... i love you calum, okay? i'm not sure i'll ever feel the same way about anyone the way i did with you. i've been so fucking scared because i can't stand the thought of anything bad happening to you and i, i'm sorry cal. i'm sorry i wasn't there for you."

"no, y/n, please stop apologizing. i'm sorry that i wasn't there for you."

the pair let their emotions get the best of them, holding each other as fucking tight as they possibly could while sobs come out from the both of them. there was so many things left unsaid, and letting it all out – they both needed this. they needed each other.

calum thought that he'd never wound up in this position - doing everything in his power to reassure y/n that it's not her fault.

“i’m going to do better, okay y/n?” he quietly says to her, slightly pulling away from the embrace, taking her hand and intertwining it with hers. “i’m done with this shit, i promise. it’s not good for me - it never was. and i’m so sorry. for leaving you in the dust, and for making you worry. it’s not happening again. never again.” calum places a soft kiss to her hand while y/n wipes away her tears with her free hand. she nods in response, closing her eyes and leaning into his shoulder. she’s exhausted, but she’s happy they had the conversation. yeah, it might have resulted in choked sobs bouncing off every wall in the house, but’s it off her chest. it’s off his chest too. they’ve said everything they need to say.

“thank you, for, hearing me out. thank you for your apology, and thank you for.. everything.” y/n says to him, placing a small kiss on his cheek, before beginning to walk towards the door, and calum grabs her wrist lightly to stop her. “wait, you’re going?”

“yeah, what else would i do?”

calum’s so scared to ask this question, and he doesn’t know what answer to expect from her. but if he lets her walk out that door, he’s not sure if he’ll ever get the chance to ask her again.

“where does this leave us?”

“i don’t.. i don’t know,” she replies, as calum grabs her waist. “where do you want it to be?”

“i want it to be you and i.” he confesses. “what about you?”

“i’ve always wanted it to be you and i.” smiles creep up on both their faces, and y/n lets out a sigh. “but, things have changed and, and, i can’t just pretend like the past didn’t happen..” she trails off, a frown forming on her face.

she can leave again. she can leave, and he won’t be upset. but, calum has a chance at making everything right. with his friends, and with her. and quite frankly, y/n knows in her heart, she doesn’t want to leave either.

“sleep on it. stay the night with me. in the morning, if you don’t feel right about this, you can leave and i’ll forever be thankful we had this talk. if we hadn’t, who knows how’d i continue to act. and if you feel even the slightest bit right about this, i promise, i will never let myself hurt you again.”

as y/n looks into calum’s brown eyes, she sees a glimpse of hope lingering in them. and for once, she feels the hope between the two of them as well. relationships are bound to go through rough patches, and it’s safe to say that the two of them didn’t handle them in the best way. she knows calum. and when calum hood is determined to fix something, anything, he’ll do everything in his power to fix it.

so she grabs his hand and the two of them make their way upstairs, climbing into bed and falling asleep almost instantly.

and when calum wakes up to the girl he loves playing with his hair and kissing his forehead, he smiles, and makes another promise to himself: to never let her think she’s anything less than a stupid party.

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nicksbestie · 2 years

Note

maybe an ashton x reader, the reader is a singer and ashton and the boys come on her tour for support <33

SURPRISES

pairing: ashton irwin xreader

word count: 1200

warnings: none

Everything seemed sad at the moment. From the outside, your life seemed amazing to anyone looking in. I mean, what really could you complain about? You were world-wide famous,with stellar albums and singles that topped the charts, not to mention a hot boyfriend who was also in a world famous band. Really. What could there be to be upset about?

You know, besides the fact that you were leaving for a tour on the other side of the world for months, and you wouldn’t be seeing any of your family or your boyfriend for what felt like ages. By the time you got back, your boyfriend would be playing drums on tour himself. It was an awful mix of lifestyle, and sometimes you wished you didn’t choose this life or tour at all.

Neither of you were ready to say goodbye for the next few months, and had spent the past week absolutely attached at the hip to each other.

Unfortunately for the both of you, the day had come. Tour started tomorrow, and you had to leave. Ashton had refused to be more than 5 feet away from you all day. You were wheeling a suitcase to the front door, and he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. You smiled, and turned around to hug him back.

It was one of those hugs, the one where it’s clear in everyone’s arms that neither party ever wants it to end. One of those hugs where the weight of emotion causes the two to almost sway back and forth. Neither of you wanted to pull away. You knew you had a time crunch and that you had to leave soon, but that didn’t change the fact that even the excitement of playing a show stopping tour didn’t squash the ball of sadness in your heart at leaving.

It wasn’t even just Ashton that you were leaving. The rest of the band were your best friends. It was going to suck being by yourself without them for so long. You knew you probably wouldn’t have much time to be thinking about it anyways, given all the rehearsals, soundchecks, late night shows, and just an expectant whirlwind of exhaustion, but you knew you would miss them regardless. The late nights you guys had spent together drunk off adrenaline had been high on the “best of your lives'' list.

Pushing the sadness away to where it was only visible in your eyes, you pulled back from the hug. It was like looking into a mirror when you locked eyes with Ashton. He reflected the same emotion, except his wasn’t hidden. He made no effort to pretend like he wasn’t sad you were leaving, or that he wasn’t going to miss you, or like it didn’t make him upset helping you pack. But he knew you were going to love the tour, and he knew it would be worth it in the end, and he’d be a damn liar if he said that he didn’t think about having a few tricks up his sleeve to make a few things a bit easier to bear.

You sighed. He gave a tiny smile, one dimple showing.

“You’ll facetime?”

“Every night. I’ll even watch the shows on a shitty Instagram live for you.”

You laughed.

“What a noble sacrifice you have made, Irwin!”

He grinned.

“Oh I know. It’s a pain, but I suppose you’re worth it.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I better be.”

He kept a small smile on his face.

“I really will miss you.”

“I’ll miss you more.”

“Don’t start.”

“Alright. I better go and hug the rest of the guys goodbye too, and then I’ll be off. See you in a few months.”

He pressed a quick kiss to the side of your cheek before replying.

“Bye baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Tour had started. It was easily the loneliest you’d ever been at times, but at others you felt the most surrounded you ever had. Performing for sold out venues was an amazing thing, and the adrenaline and excitement had truly hit you. It was absolutely surreal, and you loved it. The nights were quiet, and falling asleep at night exhausted but happy was a nice thing.

You were 7 shows in, and you missed everyone. But mainly Ashton. Granted, of course he followed all the shows, and consistently texted you encouragement and that he thought your show was amazing and all of the things he does on a daily basis, and he continued to facetime you every night just like he promised. But it really wasn’t the same. The bed was still empty and cold, and you felt bad hanging up the phone every morning when you woke up to see Ashton never hung up and him knocked out asleep on the other end. Life on tour was nice, but it was definitely preferable when you weren’t alone.

Ashton, on the other hand, had been doing a lot of thinking. Dangerous, we know. And his plan had worked out. He and the rest of the guys had convinced management to let them skip a Friday rehearsal and go see your show that night, and come back Sunday. It would take a lot of extra practice that Monday, but he felt it was worth it, and the band supported him. You were their best friend too, they also wanted to see a show. But it was to be a secret.

Jesus. Tickets are hard to buy. Ashton had somehow managed to secure four pit tickets, and they were all going. This new experience had definitely made him more compassionate for when fans were trying to buy for their shows. That had majorly sucked. But it was worth it. They were all going and had front row tickets to see. Now the hard part was just to wait the rest of the week before they were leaving to be there.

Another show. Another day passed. You thought it was show number 15, but to be completely honest you’d lost track and were quite surprised that you hadn’t also lost your hearing. It was shell-shocking, the volume those people had. Although it was thousands of pairs of lungs, so maybe it made sense.

You stepped out, a smile on your face, surveying the crowd. You simply skimmed it, so quickly you almost missed it. Four ridiculously tall men, right in the front row, one with two arms held up, forming the small shape of a heart with his hands. You’re sure the crowd noticed your slip up on the words, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Just last night you had been thinking that there was nothing you wouldn’t do to have Ashton and the rest of the band there with you, and boom, the next day, there they were. So this was why Ashton had been acting so weird. He had continuously had a grin on his face, but refused to tell you why he was so happy. That little shit. It was definitely worth it. That was hands down the best show of your life, and you were sure that the crowd could tell.

#5sos #5sos x reader #5sos fic #5sos angst #5sos fluff #5sosfam #ashton irwin x reader #calum hood x reader #luke hemmings x reader #michael clifford x reader #boyfriend ashton irwin #ashton irwin angst #ashton irwin fluff #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff #luke hemmings angst #luke hemmings fluff #michael clifford angst #michael clifford fluff

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writersdare · 10 months

Text

5SOS ♡ Masterlist

Last update: 20.01.2024

♡ – readers' favourite; ♥︎ – the most popular 5SOS work

Luke Hemmings

Hold Me Tight ♡ Summary: Luke has been plagued by nightmares, but Y/N was always there for him. Warning: hurt/comfort, nightmares

Let Me Love You NEW Summary: Luke knew it wasn’t his fault Y/N didn’t let him get any closer, but he just wished to know what he could do to make it better. Warning: angsty, trusting issues, mentioning of a breakup, the reader may have low self-esteem Two Gummy Worms Summary: Luke was determined to take Y/N on a night drive. Some things, though, didn’t want to go according to his perfect plan. Warning: friends to lovers, fluff, mentioning of food

He Called Her a Fairy Summary: No matter how excited Luke was to go on tour, it was always too heartbreaking to say goodbye to Y/N. However, that parting was worth going through to meet again. Warning: hurt/comfort, angsty

Eyes Can Speak Too Summary: Being blinded by the feelings for each other, Luke and Y/N didn’t see the obvious things. Warning: friends to lovers, angst, trusting issues, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

Sweeter Than Honey Summary: Spending a simple evening with Y/N, Luke realised she was always his happy place. Warning: fluff

Baby Girl Summary: Even in Y/N’s darkest times, Luke was always there to guide her to the light. Warning: hurt/comfort, disordered eating

Why Won’t You Love Me Summary: Luke and Y/N broke up after a few months of dating so they could at least remain friends, but seemed like it didn’t ease the pain. Warning: angst, fluff, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

Never Doubt Me Summary: A date, it would seem, could not get any worse, but then Luke remembered a painful rumour he heard about Y/N. Warning: argument

No Longer Together Summary: Trying to move on from a breakup, Luke and Y/N found each other at the same room, playing “spin the bottle”. Warning: College!AU, angst, mention of alcohol and a breakup

More coming...

Ashton Irwin

Keep It Quiet ♡ Summary: Ashton and Y/N kept their relationship a secret for a while, but one interview made the things a little complicated. Warning: none

Give Me Attention Summary: Ashton and Y/N had been friends for a while. However, everything changed once she found out an unpleasant secret he thought to hide from her. Warning: angst, an intimate moment, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

More coming...

Michael Clifford

Don’t Be a Stranger Summary: The tour was over, and Michael and Y/N finally met again. Both were uncertain who they were to each other after months being apart. Warning: slight angst

Calum Hood

Ghost of You NEW Summary: It had been four months of silence between Calum and Y/N. Could she finally move on? Warning: angst All Too Well Summary: It’s the first time ever when Calum and Y/N didn’t need to be apart, as they were going on tour together. However, things could never just be perfect, could they? Warning: angst, fluff, a bit of cursing

Strawberry Jam Summary: The winter holidays were simply the best for both Calum and Y/N, especially when a heating problem in their house occurred. Warning: fluff, friends to lovers

Password Is Your Birthday ♡♥︎ Summary: Y/N never doubted Calum’s loyalty, however, once controversial photos were leaked, their relationship was put to the test. Warning: angsty, mention of alcohol

Paris Broke My Heart Part 1 | Part 2 Summary: Calum knew he’d lose Y/N each time she’d start a new relationship, but that time it was different. She was leaving the country, maybe forever. Warning: 18+ (non-detailed smut), angst, fluff, friends to lovers, cursing and mentioning of alcohol

More coming...

– photo is obv not mine and belongs to the rightful owner –

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lovermine · 1 year

Text

new girl!au | help me decide <3

—

okay so it starts with oc getting kicked out of her own apartment that she lives in with her boyfriend because of the toxic relationship they have, and they have nowhere to go so she ends up living with the band (who aren’t super duper famous in this fic, just local celebrities kinda thing)

they help her get over her ex after finding out how awfully he treated her, and they basically become her guard dogs from him bcos they love her already

n they’ve lowkey all got massive crushes on her, like she’s a hot girl living in their apartment and they’re young adult men.. they think with their dicks 90% of the time

she walks out of the bathroom in a towel to go to her room and their eyes pop out of their heads

so the roommate pact ensues, the men of apartment 5D will not flirt with or try to pursue their hot roommate (easier said than done)

and ofc one of these assholes has to break the pact cos then there’s no fic duh

which is where i need your help!! i have no idea which member should be the one oc ends up with.

i originally thought michael bcos he reminds me the most of nick from new girl and this is a hundred percent a nick/jess situation, but the choice is up to those who would even be interested in reading this

so please let me know your choice of love interest and if you have any headcanon ideas for the fic!! i’d be super interested in reading them and trying to incorporate your ideas into the overall thing <3 thnx

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carryonafi · 23 days

Text

where did the party go.

ashton irwin x reader; ANGST

a/n: heyyy lovers!! 2 posts in a row (almost) whaaat!! i’ve been working recently because i just went through my entire google docs and sorted everything out 😭 this is something i’ve been working on for quite some time now and requires a little bit of backstory. there will be another part to this series, and possibly a third? let me know if you want to hear about some of the key moments in the 2013–2016 period! so without further ado, this is part one of “where did the party go.”! 🤍

content warnings: sexual innuendos, heavy drinking, smoking, mentions of declining mental health

words: 2.4k

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

background: Your relationship with Ashton has been public ever since the beginning, starting in 2013 and continuing to flow and experience the life of 5 Seconds of Summer all the way until the band went on a break at the end of 2016. During those years, you took on the struggles that Ashton and the rest of the band faced which left them all having you as a permanent resident in their life. However, your relationship becomes rocky when Ashton refuses to communicate until the very moment he can’t take it anymore. His impulsive decision leads to you moving out, yet still being in his life because of the others and their friendship with you.

— POV: Ashton —

I could see nothing beyond her. Of course she would be here… of course. Heart stuck in my throat, I turned my attention away from her as soon as she started to look in my direction. We had ended. Months ago, yet I still couldn’t pull myself out of the mindset that she was still mine. I was still waking up next to her every morning, head on the fluffy pillow she claimed when we first moved in and hovering over the shadow of her figure in our bed. Yes, it was still our bed. It would always be. Everywhere I went she followed me whether it be the scent of the hair mist which stuck to the bathroom tile, the fluffy blankets she had chosen for the house, a few products left behind like she was coming back… she wouldn’t.

The music was bass heavy, rattling the table which in turn shook the floor and bounced off of the walls, reverberating in the guest’s ears. In the house I was suffocated, wanting and feeling like a beggar when I so much as looked her way.

“It’ll be like the iHeart Radio night all over again!” Michael made the comment, the rest of the group lightheartedly laughing despite the known tension. I left the circle almost immediately after that, not being able to bear hearing her sickeningly sweet giggle as she clung to any one of my friends besides me. I secretly wished the same, just over a year ago we were sharing smiles at each other and trying each other’s drinks, unable to separate as we made our way to the escort and back to the hotel in a blur.

The back porch brought an odd comfort to me, it was a change of pace from all of the lights inside. Calm, soft, warm yellow lanterns and fairy lights above proudly grown ferns. Although I did feel like an asshole for exiting at a time when people were talking to me, I just couldn’t handle the voices that weren’t her’s. I couldn’t handle her’s either. The vast green soothed me and the euphoria of a deep breath from a joint hit quickly, the blue smoke wandered together, then parted once hitting a certain point in the air. When it couldn’t carry the oxygen anymore. Familiar… Maybe. Maybe that’s why there were now tears obstructing my vision.

A sudden rush of consciousness and self pity struck my senses, cutting deep and forcing me to stand up off of the porch and make my way back inside the house within seconds. Hours felt like seconds and once enclosed, nothing was real. Not the people, not the music, not the house which was once our’s and now holding me alone, not the slow drift of which my rationality began to slip.

“Come on, Ash…”

She was real, though. Touching me, feeling for the stairs with her high heels, whispering words that I couldn’t understand— I went weak. I let her hold my weight, and her soft touch was replaced with a mattress. Clouds. Heaven. She was down with me, pitifully listening to me stutter apologies through tears and a lack of sobriety, begging her to let me hold her one last time before she found better. I mumbled with full confidence that I loved her. I loved nothing more than my weakness.

“I… I can’t.” She uttered those words which was the only blur I remembered hearing, it had to be the worst of it. Not her reassurance or her hushing my pathetic tears, I had to remember what she had pledged herself to. She wasn’t coming back.

Her dress was in my arms during the hours until I woke up, like she had vanished with all that was left being her clothing and a sweater missing from my closet. Everything came creeping in pieces, coming back with each step I took down the party soaked stairs. One led me to her hands, the next led me to her voice, breathing my name and encouragement to help me, then my knees led me to the hardwood of the living space. It was impossible to exist without thinking of her, from the moment I’d wake up it would be torture right away. I wasn’t lying next to her figure. I wasn’t waking up and rolling over to the side, her small, warm frame snuggling up to mine making soft hums and mews in her sleep. The smell of her hair, the freckles lightly dusting her cheeks and nose. All for me, just for me. Her morning voice, mumbling my name into my neck and chest as she desperately tried to get closer to my comfort. My arms enveloped her until she disappeared, then I remembered she wasn’t here again. She couldn’t.

When I walked around the house I imagined her happily skipping alongside me, dragging me over to the couch just to cuddle and burrow in the soft blankets for the rest of the day until one of us had to eventually finish a task.

No more fleeting kisses, no more shoulder rubs, no more long nails tracing my shoulder blades while my fingertips gave the same treatment to the dimples on her back and the dips in her hip bones. No more of her cheek pressed to my chest, arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace because she just didn’t want to let go. No more of the stubbornness which kept me smiling at how ridiculous she could be.

When I got home I would expect a long hug, she always stood on her tiptoes to hug me so her lips could meet my cheek.. or my own. Always warm, everything she possessed was warm. Her giggles, her lips, her voice, everything. Without her everything was just cold. I never rested comfortably because it was so, so damn cold.

I could feel her. Right there. The rise and fall of her chest, hips flush to mine as her soft, pink pout glossy with need stared up at me as a way to beg for attention. Her doe eyes, big and wanton silently telling me how much she needed my love, for my hands to trace her skin and plush valleys. For her small ones to grab mine tightly, tangle in my hair, whisper against my lips about how I needed a haircut before I shut down the sense of coordination for her thoughts with my hips meeting her thighs.

The days lulled by slowly without her there, I thought back to the night she left every single day. My words were not the right choice, she was willing to be there. She was willing to help me, but I didn’t think that something already broken could depend on something else the way I did to her. I had nightmares about the sounds of her heart wrenching, yet gentle sobs as I told her my thoughts. The promise ring still sat on my bedside table on her side just waiting for the day that I could really pull myself together and face her. My only weakness. My only reason, which could have been mine from the beginning if I was smarter. If I had worked harder.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“Looking dapper, aren’t you?” Michael had noticed that I’ve been emptily staring into a mirror for what felt like forever. The abrupt sound of his voice pulled me from my thoughts as I blinked, looking at his reflection behind me.

“Oh, totally. Just can’t get enough of myself.” I replied in a sarcastic tone of voice, rolling my eyes as I smoothed a hand down the front of my suit. Award shows were fun, for the most part. A lot less stressful if we didn’t have a performance, we didn’t have to worry about becoming presentable once again. What can I say? We put our all into anything we play.

Michael grinned in a silent laugh at my reply, scrolling through his phone while Calum did the same and Luke was idle in front of the other mirror. He’d started wearing a lot of eye makeup, not that it was a bad thing. He was getting incredibly good at it, just to think a few years ago he barely felt comfortable putting on some chapstick in public. “Listened to Y/N’s new single yet? Pretty dope.” Michael hummed, nudging Calum’s shoulder to show him something on his phone which was presumably the cover or something… because he nodded in approval and made a comment that I didn’t hear. The sound of her name made me shiver, I took a deep breath and pulled myself away from the mirror to sit across from the others. Their conversation made no sense to me as I was still quite caught up in my own mind, my world of thoughts surrounding me about what this song could sound like. Would I ever listen to it? No, to save myself, probably not.

The one thing missing from this was her by my side again, squeezing my hand and holding on through the swamp of cameras and flashing lights. I could always remember her being the only thing I felt, in all of the chaos. I hadn’t even registered that we had made it out to the car and were sitting in the back already, I snapped back into reality again.

“You good, dude? You’ve been sorta spacey today.” Calum did the same as Michael did to him earlier and nudged my side, I defensively nodded and silently dismissed his worries. If I talked about it, I feared that it would all come out at once without being able to put a filter on my thoughts. Soon enough, we were back in that atmosphere again. Hopping out of the car and putting on an attitude towards the cameras but a different comfort for the fans who just wanted to see us up close, another car rolled in behind us after our driver had gone but I didn’t look. I started hearing her name again, hushed in comparison to all of the other desperate shouts and calls for attention. Fuck, wasn’t I lucky? I just had to keep moving, smiling, waving, making jokes and avoiding the mention of the girl haunting me.

This night was slow. So fucking slow, I just wanted to sit through this and get out of the venue as quick as possible. I wanted to go back to our bed, hold her knitted crop top up to my face and breathe in her scent which was long gone by now. However, we had to mingle. We just had to walk around and talk to people, I couldn’t leave by myself… it was worth a shot to try to enjoy the last few hours of the event. So far, I had been holding myself together pretty well and Luke stuck by my side to make sure I wasn’t left alone in my head. I knew he would do this for me, he wouldn’t hesitate to help me when I needed it. Even if I never vocalized it.

– POV: Reader –

There it was, the movie moment. The prolonged eye contact before an invisible pull drew the two closer to each other until they finally met in the middle, though that didn’t happen. You saw him from afar, shuffling alongside Luke and unable to hold eye contact. His hair was tame, but you knew it at its best. Thick, messy curls, damp from a shower, hanging over his lustful eyes at your favorite times, pushed back into one of your clips so they weren’t disrupting his focus. You knew the best of him, and you needed to see that again. It wasn’t you that ended things, but the chase after he realized his mistake hadn’t stopped until 6 months after you two ended. Bad idea, maybe? Your heels clicked along the tile, drowned out by the natural sounds of people laughing and congratulating, drinks flowing, claps on the back. You was drawn to him the minute Luke had pressed a hand to his shoulder and left his side.

“Hi.” One word that spoke a thousand all at once, Ashton turned with a look of… fear in his eyes. It didn’t go away when your eyes met, but his expression definitely softened.

“Hey, stranger.” He breathed, the soft ring of honey around his iris and between the forest green majority shrinking as his pupils dilated out of love. That was it, from the moment he spoke you knew that the pieces were already mended. There was healing. You bit your lip to hold in your smile, but you just couldn’t. It was contagious, Ashton shared a hesitant smile back with relief. ‘Are you upset with me? Have you forgiven me for making one of the biggest mistakes of my life?’ He wanted to ask, but better yet, your eyes told him more than enough. “I loved the song.” Ashton lied, he hadn’t listened to it.

“Oh, yeah?” You stared up at him, from the trouble he seemed to be having with eye contact earlier, he sure wasn't having any now.

“Yeah, you really deserve that nomination.” He mused, pupils darting up and down from the tip of your toes all the way up to your done-up, hairspray and product doused hair.

“I appreciate that.” You gave a warm smile, hands knitting together neatly in front of yourself. It wasn’t until you made eye contact again that you realized you were wearing his favorite color, his favorite cut– a nice baby blue tight around your hips and fanning out around your frame. Time was cut short, the award ceremony was starting in less than 10 minutes now.

Ashton cleared his throat, checking his watch. “We should… probably get to our seats.” He said softly, still lingering like he didn’t want to leave you behind.

You simply nodded in agreement, bidding him an awkward goodbye before stepping away and letting that invisible string loosen its hold.

The interaction left you slightly lost, even more lost than the moment you actually ended your relationship. It felt like walking away from an opportunity, the real embodiment of stepping away from a chapter in your life. Were you at peace? Maybe, but it was unfinished. You couldn’t sit through this award show, with performance after another the wait was getting more and more unbearable to handle

You needed to speak with Ashton, burn the bridge or rebuild it.

Where did the party go?

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Part 2: TBA

#5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #5sos series #5sos smut #5sos x reader #ashton irwin x reader #5sos angst

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