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alsjeblieft-zeg · 1 year

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253 of 2023

1. What big corporation(s) do you support, particularly because you like what they stand for (many vegan items, donate large amount of money to charities, pay their workers a living wage, etc)?

Well, I support Alstom so much that I even bought shares from them lol. I treat my job seriously and I want to provide comfort and safety.

2. For those who menstruate or have in the past, is it worse to deal with a period in the summer or winter time? Why do you feel that way over the other season?

I’m afraid this question is completely irrelevant to me. I’m a guy.

3. If you wear foundation or have in the past, what type of applicator do you use (beauty sponge, foundation brush, fingers, etc)? Is there a type of applicator that doesn’t work for you?

Neither is this one because I don’t wear make up.

4. For those of you that do listen/watch ASMR videos, what are your favorite “triggers”? If you don’t watch ASMR, what are your thoughts on the whole phenomenon that seemed to happen the past couple years over it?

I don’t care much about it. It’s not for me anyway.

5. Are there any true crime cases that bothers you immensely because of the story or verdict of the court case (ex. OJ Simpson)?

The only crime that really bothers me is the case of Sylvia Likens. I feel deeply for this poor girl :( she died in such an awful way.

6. When looking for discounted events or activities, where are you most likely to look for these deals (besides Google or other big search engines)?

Well, I’m subscribed to some websites that send me notifications via e-mail, so I don’t have to bother searching them.

7. What is your favorite type of lip balm (brand, scent, what ingredients are in it, etc)? What about sunscreen or other sun protecting products?

I don’t use any lip balm. I only use sunscreen in summer because I’m prone to sunburns and I have tattoos. I don’t care for a brand, as long as it does the job.

8. What store(s) do you have the worst time finding clothing/accessories in because they don’t cater to your body type (disregard price and other factors when considering)? If this isn’t something you struggle with, what store(s) do you think people might struggle finding clothing options in if they were the opposite body type as you?

Almost all shops. I have long limbs, so everything of my size is simply too short for me.

9. Do you use store loyalty programs? If you don’t use them, what is your reasoning behind that? What store loyalty programs do you feel offer the best incentives, regardless if you aren’t a member of them?

Yeah, I do in some grocery stores and clothing stores. Everything goes more expensive these days, but our paychecks don’t raise.

10. When it comes to skincare, what product could you not go without over the other ones? Where are you most likely to shop for your skincare needs?

I don’t bother about such things. I’ve never had problems like acne or such.

11. Regardless if you aren’t someone who hoards or keeps stuff for a long time, what is one (type of) item that you have a hard time getting rid of?

All my office supplies and old clothes.

12. If you eat meat, what is at least one vegan item (not necessarily a banana) that you like or would like trying (such as a trying a soy ham substitute)? If you don’t eat meat, what is one meat item that you like and understand why people eat it?

I only eat chicken and occasionally fish. These are the only things that I like the taste and structure of. Otherz-wise, I’m all about veggies.

13. What is a food that is always better homemade? How about a food that is always better at a restaurant?

Everything is better homemade than store-bolught, that’s for sure. But I don’t think I’d be able to make as good waterzooi as they serve in restaurants out there.

14. If you watched teen dramas growing up (such as 90210 or One Tree Hill), which one was your favorite or you liked the best? If you watched family sitcoms growing up (such as Full House or The Fresh Prince), which one was your favorite or liked the best?

I’ve never watched things like that. I always found them boring.

15. What is a tradition either within your country or family that you feel is not needed or could in fact even be bad (ex. using paper plates for every party, eating hot dogs every weekend during the summer, etc)?

Fries served with many meals? I feel this is so Belgian, and it’s kinda unhealthy, especially that in my country we eat them with mayonnaise.

#survey #q&a survey #random survey

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25ana · 3 years

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✨harm reduction tips, miscellaneous TW ED✨

-frozen bananas

Cut up 1 banana (I like to get small ones, those can be 72-90cal) and put it in the freezer. I’ll make these ahead of time and have them portioned out in plastic bags. They work for a breakfast, a sweet treat and fills you up. Also, soothing for the stomach which everyone with any type of ed need.

(You don’t need to eat it all at once too. I’ll take 2 pieces and be Gucci if I just want a bite. Also if you binge on them it’s not as bad as it could be and you’re getting nutrients)

-fasting isn’t sustainable nor more effective

Sorry guys. But fasting can lead to the dreaded binge and restrict cycle, can you push into starvation mode quicker if you’re already calorie restricting and have the opposite desired effect.

If you have to fast don’t go over 36 hours once a week.

Fasting makes me lethargic, feel extremely ill and makes food constantly on my mind even more.

If fasting is your thing then you should raise your intake on non fasting days so you’re metabolism doesn’t kick the bucket.

-when you can’t find calorie counts at restaurants

Go for nutrient dense options. Salads, fish, beans, etc. if you can’t just pick something and eat until satiated, not until uncomfortably full. Likely you won’t even finish it and it’s ideal to have higher calorie days for metabolism and establish a better path to recovery. The less fear foods you have the better

-find exercise that you like and makes you feel good

If you are dreading it or punishing yourself you’ll burn out and get into athletic Ana/bulimia/orthorexia and as someone who has that as well as Ana you don’t want to go down that road.

Having a positive relationship w exercise (or as positive as possible this disease permeates everything) can be soothing, feel like a treat, and provide endorphins. Also muscle building is v important

Again also Leads to an easier recovery. Exercise is just good.

If you don’t like running don’t run

If you hate HIIT don’t do it

If the gym stresses you out don’t go there’s plenty of options for home

The best workout is one you’ll do and maintain.

-If you binge

Don’t fast, don’t purge, don’t weigh yourself for at least 2-3 days (honestly it’s only necessary and most accurate to weigh once a week and take measurements)

Drink lots of water, don’t take a pill laxative, drink a laxative tea instead. Go for a walk it’ll help out bloating and quiet your mind.

Identify the trigger and write it down along with other coping skills to do instead next time

Also don’t read meanspo I honestly hate that shit like for what for who we’re mean enough to ourselves at least I am

-most of the thinspo you see is edited 🤡

-if you can’t get yourself to get help do everything you can to make it possible to get there

-just eat the fucking carbs and fats

-have small treats (pizza, cake, whatever) it’ll help with binging (portion it out though so your brain doesn’t freak)

-diet drinks in moderation

They honestly make me bloat soooo much and it’s just not great for you. If they help with binging then by all means do it I have them still

That’s all for now folks ily

Xoxo,

Your Ana big sister

#eating disoder mention #harm reduction #not pr0 just using tags #it's not as simple as just eating #anatips #eating disoder tips #anamia #thinsppi #eating disoder thoughts #tw ed stuff

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thatshortenby · 3 years

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about the DreamSMP fandom and Banana Fish.

!!Mild spoilers for BF included but nothing major!!

so i need to rant :)

recently on Tiktok and Twitter ive noticed several “DreamnotFound” shippers comparing George and Dream’s role play characters to Ash and Eiji. Specifically, to the scene in episode 21 where Eiji hugs Ash in the alleyway.

I’m not sure if the original poster had even seen Banana Fish, or if they did they took this scene out of MAJOR context: this isn’t a “omg i missed you so much and now you’re out of prison”, literally MINUTES before this scene in BF occurred, Ash was violently assaulted and r4ped, hence why his clothes were all torn and he was shaking. Eiji was trying to comfort him.

Secondly, constantly comparing and crossing Banana Fish over to the DSMP fandom is dangerous. Banana Fish is an extremely disturbing and emotionally heavy series. I really don’t recommend it for anyone under 16. It has tons of triggers throughout the series, notably r@pe, ass4ult, child p0rn, human/s3x traff!ck!ng, hum4n experimentation, drugs, needles, graphic depictions of gang violence, de@th, t0rture, abvse of all kinds, mental health facilities, eating d!sorders, PTSD, su!c!de, gvn violence, and many more.

Knowing from my interactions with the DSMP fandom, many fans tend to be under the age of 13-14. Letting young kids see this shit could be dangerous for their mental health. I know grown-ass adults who couldn’t even stomach Banana Fish because of how traumatizing it can be, whether you’ve been through the aforementioned experiences or have no idea that they do happen in the real world. I know kids under 13 know about topics like r4pe and mvrd3r, but it still could be damaging to their mental health to witness those things through a graphic depiction.

Hell, I’m 17, and don’t really cry over media a lot. Maybe once or twice through the course of an entire series. I was full on sobbing over several episodes in Banana Fish and had to take mental breaks. The last episode made me cry myself sick, something I’ve only done during a few of my worst mental breakdowns :)

TL;DR - dear DreamSMP fandom, stop comparing DreamnotFound to Ash and Eiji. Leave Banana Fish out of this, because you’re potentially going to traumatize a bunch of kids if they get their hands the series. Banana Fish is very emotionally mature, heavy, and serious — and can’t be compared to a MineCraft roleplay.

#banana fish #dream mcyt #dream smp #dreamnotfound #ash lynx #eiji okumura #asheiji #seriously stop comparing the two #thanks for coming to my ted talk #rant #dnf #im dead serious #stop it

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remakethestars · 3 years

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CABIN 7 — APOLLO

Headcanons.

❝There ought to be more drama, I think. A musical crescendo. Confetti.❞

— Jess Cooper, I Am Still Alive

Headcanon masterlist.

Oh, boy — this is my cabin, y'all; buckle up! 😁

Not all Apollo kids are good at everything their dad's good at, okay? I sure as heck can’t paint or play an instrument.

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of violence?

They run an underground tattoo parlor.

That's where Will & Butch got their respective sun & rainbow tats.

Apollo kids with lyrics tattooed into their skin.

Rick says there isn't much by way of décor inside, which is f*in' B.S. Apollo's the god of art; those walls have been graffitied Tangled style.

🎶 i'll paint the walls some more — i'm sure there's room somewhere! 🎶

The east wall is covered in a landscape of a sunrise, & the west has a sunset (because the sun rises in the east & sets in the — yeah, I'll see myself out).

The north & south walls & the ceiling are white, though, because it really brightens/opens up the space (C7 has the 2ⁿᵈ most campers under C11 because Apollo's a slut; things can get a little crowded in the summer).

When there’re celebrations, the artistically inclined kids bust out the face paint. Especially for the younger campers.

The artistically inclined are the ones that paint the camp beads for the end of the summer. Despite the numbers, it doesn’t take them as long as one might think.

Rick said the ceiling had cedar beams, but we're not gonna do Cyparissius dirty like that. Cypress wood is good for building; the beams are cypress. You know what? F*ck you — the whole dang cabin's cypress!

There’s a massive, potted aloe vera plant by the steps that gets moved into the C4 greenhouse in the winter. It’s one of those old ones — because everyone knows the old aloe plants work better for burns & blisters than these sh¡tty new ones. (It’s constantly getting broken off to heal burns & stuff.)

Rick said there are potted red & purple hyacinths in the window & yellow flowers from Delos. That's true.

I'd say the flowerbeds around the cabin are full of healing plants, but I feel like they'd be better off around the infirmary for obvious reasons.

I do feel like there's a laurel tree planted outside C7, though, because Apollo's a pining b¡tch.

And there's an actual infirmary building, okay? Rick's kinda inconsistent about that. Sometimes he says "infirmary," sometimes he says the Big House is running over with injured, & apparently there's a cot dead center for injured in C7? B.S.

Or maybe I've just read too much fanfic, and the authors don't get it right?

Either way, there's an infirmary building with surgery & delivery rooms. One floor. Locker room for C7 kids to store their scrubs & sh¡t.

They go for yellow scrubs, though, because orange C.H.B. scrubs make them look like escaped convicts.

Fun Band-Aids™

They give out little orange stickers with laurels around the edges that are like I voted! stickers, but they're injury-specific.

I got my leg(s) reattached! & Percy Jackson shot me in the butt! & I ticked off Clarisse! & I made out with an Aphrodite kid in the poison ivy! & I fell off the lava wall! & I got pranked by the Stolls!

After a war or just when there’re a lot of campers in the infirmary, there seems to be a constant flow of Apollo kids singing one hymn to their father in unison to heal someone.

Sometimes, an unconscious camper wakes in a cot & thinks they’ve died & gone to the wrong afterlife for a moment because their singing sounds like angels.

The medically inclined wash their hands like surgeons.

Kind of germophobic?

They also go around tying surgeons knots in everything.

In the summer, they’re walking Banana Boat sunscreen & after-sun aloe lotion dispensers.

The medically inclined also have the world’s sh¡ttiest handwriting.

They have to work hard to fix it if it bothers them.

Can check your vitals & run a blood test just by touching you.

A lot of them casually touch their loved ones (at least, the ones that aren’t in C7) every morning to check their vitals & see how their health’s doing.

They do it subconsciously every time they touch someone & don’t notice it until they pick up something’s wrong.

They can do this for themselves as well. Though it may not be as accurate? And they take daily vitamins depending on what they need.

Organize their lives via pill box (never lose an earring).

Fight surgically. Every blade in their hands becomes a scalpel, & every time they’re going in for a kill against an armed anthropomorphic monster, they slice the tendons in its arm required to grip its weapon to disable it before going in for the kill.

Back to C7, it’s got a little porch with a porch swing. The kids sit on it sometimes & teach people how to play instruments.

They leave the porch light on at night when they’re waiting for one of their siblings to come home from a quest.

Jumping into the depressing sh¡t, they never found Michael’s body, so they only presumed him dead. They leave the porch light on every night now, hoping he’ll come home.

Apollo kids are afraid of the dark. They use the buddy system after the sun goes down.

The cabin’s central light fixture is a papier-mâché sun that’s been charmed to glow when someone sings 🎶 clap on 🎶 & stop glowing when someone sings 🎶 clap off. 🎶

The curtains are a gold fabric. They’re only closed at night. Because, again, C7 kids are afraid of the dark.

The Wikipedia says Apollo kids are cursed to be afraid of snakes (I assume by the Python Apollo killed). I feel like they’d burn a lot of aster leaves then. I read somewhere it was said by the Greeks to ward off evil spirits & snakes.

They play Go Fish with their tarot cards. They’re really good at tarot games.

Hand-drawn tarot decks featuring figures form Greek myth.

There’s a target on the back wall they practice throwing cards at. They can throw them in combat for a distraction with terrifying accuracy.

There’s a Magic 8 ball that’s passed around on the Winter Solstice (the longest night of the year), when — as a headcanon I’m sure I’ve read somewhere has indicated — they’re up all night.

Crystal balls are allowed. However, they must be covered with a cloth or placed in a box when not in use because they’re double-convex lenses, & we don’t want another incident like the fire of 1993.

Sometimes, they make little predictions throughout the day other campers may find disturbing. Such as whipping around and catching a stray arrow without warning (spidey sense?). Or cutting you off when you’re talking about someone moments before they walk into the room.

There’s a tea cart in the corner. Because tea is good for healing & they’ve accumulated an addiction.

The cart has a radio on it that’s always on at night because a lot of C7 kids can’t sleep without noise. (Inspired by @sugarandspiceandkindanice.)

Most of the time, it’s on a nearby country station that actually plays good country at night. But sometimes they switch channels — especially when there’s a new kid settling in & they could use the comfort.

There’s a portable record player there too. The shelves under the cart are full of C.D.s & records.

I’m sure I’ve read a headcanon somewhere that they sing every morning while getting ready for the day. That’s true.

The number of times it’s been “When Will My Life Begin” from Tangled is disturbing, though.

🎶 seven a.m., the usual morning lineup! 🎶

Luke said in The Lightning Thief C11 is up at 07:00 & breakfast is at 08:00, I think, but we all know Apollo’s waking his kids up when the sun rises.

A lot of the time, someone will just start out with whatever song they have stuck in their head & everyone else will pick it up.

Sometimes, this leads to members having the aforementioned song stuck in their head for the rest of the day.

Even the people who aren’t musically inclined will sing along, as they’re usually drowned out by the music kids that get really into it.

So sometimes those not-music kids will find themselves singing by themselves during the day years later & are surprised to find — they actually sound good?? Or at least not bad??? And it’s because singing is a learned skill & they picked it up.

I’m sure I’ve also read a headcanon somewhere that they sing “Look Down” from Les Mis when they have to do menial chores, but I'm adding “It’s a Hard-Knock Life” from Annie, “Whistle While You Work” from Snow White, “Happy Working Song” from Enchanted, & the Smurf song.

They break into song all the time.

Lee was glaring at Tantalus once & made the mistake of saying, “Sometimes, I wish —” and the entire cabin broke out with “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

🎶 — i'd never been born at all! carry on, carry on… 🎶

As mentioned in at least The Lightning Thief & The Lost Hero, they spend a lot of time playing basketball. You can bet your butt they do a rendition of “Getcha Head in the Game” from High School Musical every time there’s a new camper passing by.

They have a sister named Jubilee, and every time someone greets her — "Hey, Jube!" — the entire cabin breaks into “Hey, Jude” by The Beetles.

🎶 hey, Jube! don't make it bad. take a sad song & make it better… 🎶

Sometimes, if there are two campers that really need to get together, C10′ll commission C7 to sing “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid (or the same song with different pronouns, obviously).

It’s usually a capella unless someone happens to have an instrument on them.

Rickrolling.

The “Macarena.”

Apollo takes clandestine recordings of their jam sessions & distributes them professionally. Whatever money’s made goes directly into their college funds or they periodically find it under their pillow tooth-fairy-style.

There’s a lot of denim because the artistic members like to paint on the backs of jackets & the pockets of jeans.

A lot of them have excellent aim with most projectiles, so they toss stuff to each other a lot. This results in them being oddly in sync, so they can catch something from another sibling without warning & without looking like Sam & Dean Winchester do in Supernatural.

Their life looks like a Dude Perfect trick shot video.

It also results in some funny looks when they hurl things halfway across camp to each other. Namely, the whistling Nerf football.

C7 is two stories. The second story has paint on every wall.

The east wall upstairs has arrows mounted that got Robin Hooded along with a little tag with the name of the C7 kid & the date it happened.

They also have arrows mounted from the first bullseye if there’s a member being taught.

Lots of musical instruments & art supplies up there.

There’s an old T.V. up there. They have all of Bob Ross’s show on V.H.S.

C7′s south wall (ground floor) holds the door to the bathroom on one side & a door leading to the stairs.

It also hosts framed photos of Charlotte, Lee, & Michael.

Instead of saying “shoot,” they say “loose.” For everything. Instead of saying “Shoot!” when they drop something, they say “Loose!”

It's kinda one of those things — like your friend starts saying something & you just integrate it into your vocabulary subconsciously.

They like to play a game where you shoot an arrow straight up & try to catch it as it comes back down.

That sounds really stupid on their part, but it actually comes in handy when someone tries to shoot them in combat & they catch the arrow, dumbfounding whoever's attempted to skewer them.

The cresting on their arrows is in Morse code of their nickname (·—— ·· ·—·· ·—··). They can take one look at an arrow & tell what’s whose.

And the paint color of the cresting tells them what kind of arrow it is — bullet tip, broadhead, explosive, etc.

Every bunk in C7 is made with hospital corners. No exceptions. The kids who aren’t medically inclined learn because all the beds being made the same way makes it look cleaner for inspection.

I can’t decide if Apollo kids have really good eyesight so they fit the Hawkeye bill or if they’ve all just read — Apollo’s the god of knowledge — & painted so much they’ve messed up their eyes.

The number of times one of them has used bowstring wax on an art project in a rush instead of glue is hilariously large.

I use String Snot, and it comes in a container that looks like a glue stick.

A lot of them wear bracers all the time.

When the time it takes to sling one’s quiver onto one’s back, grab one’s bow, knock an arrow, & draw is so long, one really doesn’t have time to also strap on their bracers before rushing out of the cabin to threaten a giant bronze dragon.

Not to mention if they use a recurve, they’ll also have to string their bow.

And a number of them do use recurves due to the abilities to both knock multiple arrows at once & to restring in the field.

Bows with risers coated in golden, reflective paint & limbs painted with artistic strokes.

Trick arrows are their jam. C9 is constantly being asked for new arrows.

Explosive arrows, sonic arrows, grappling hook arrows…

That’s another saying they’ve all taken to: “___ is my jam!”

There’s a bookshelf or reference material on Apollo for new C7 kids (as Rick’s indicated), but the rest of the case is full of medical journals & textbooks & books on art & poetry & divining the future.

A lot — if not all — of them have either gold flecks in their eyes or central heterochromia.

Freckles across their noses & shoulders & on the tips of their ears. Tans. Sun-bleached hair.

Long, nimble fingers perfect for playing musical instruments.

Either they hate the winter because the sun's out for less time (so you’ll find them walking around with blanched skin & faded freckles & with both a hoody & a parka on), or they’re perfectly fine with winter & are used by everyone around them as walking space heaters.

They spend a lot of time with Castor & Pollux.

Rachel sits at T7. She’s practically an Apollo kid at this point.

While her cave was being renovated, she stayed in C7.

Their dad’s the god of truth; none of these M.F.s can lie worth a sh¡t.

But, by the gods, they can tell when you’re lying.

And they take it as a personal insult. That you (A) would dare do something as immoral as lying in the first place & that you (B) would dare to insult their intelligence in such a way because you thought they couldn’t tell.

C6 & C7 are both known for reacting outrageously when their intelligence is insulted (see: chapter 10 of The Battle of the Labyrinth).

The more civil of the reactions of a C7 kid being lied to is cursing the liar to tell the truth, which I believe they can.

They can curse you to speak in rhyming couplets; they should be able to curse you to tell the truth.

You mean to tell me none of these kids have created a functioning Lasso of Truth yet?

This one's really long. 😅

A lot of people fancast Sam Claflin as Apollo, but I'm going with Ross Lynch. 'Cause I do what I want. 😎

Visit my Apollo cabin Pinterest board or my headcanon masterlist.

DISCLAIMER ━━━ These headcanons are what I consider to be canon in my fanfictions. They may be others’s headcanons I’ve subconsciously filed away in my noggin. If one’s yours and you want it removed or credited, please send me your post and let me know.

#Apollo #Apollo kids #children of Apollo #Apollo cabin #headcanons #headcannons #Percy Jackson #PJO #HOO #TOA #remakethestars #art #archery #painting #healing #doctors #sun #hcs #TW: mentions of violence

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neoyi · 3 years

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So there were new indie game directs (Day of the Dev and Wholesome Games) and I was basically Foaming Mouth Guy from Avatar because I’m hyped for indie games.

Since I can’t ill afford to shut up about my opinions, here’s a big, fat blog on what particular games I’m either looking forward to, has piqued my interest, or at least curious enough for me to comment on it even if it’s not within my wheelhouse.

Axiom Verge 2: I have no horse in this race, I just think it’s nice of them to let players skip boss fights if they want to for ease of gameplay.

Toem: A Photo Adventure: Some evil genius combined photo snapping and meandering sidequests together into one game, knowing I’d be putty in their hands. There’s actually a few photograph games in these directs, but this one grabbed me because the list of quests you do looks so specific that it scratches a particular itch for me.

Garden Story: Incredibly lovely Mother 3-like graphics aside, this game hits all my buttons: quest-based gameplay to help numerous NPCs, managing the layout of your town, exploration, and RPG-like elements make this one a dream indie game for me.

Vokabulants: For some reason, this game’s setting isn’t doing it for me, but I’m awestruck with their decision to use stopmotion for the entire thing. Rarely utilized, always cool to see.

Death’s Door: I don’t care about birds, but I DO like grim reaper stuff, so color me piqued.

Elec Head: I already knew about this game thanks to Game Maker’s Toolkit’s Game Jam, and I think I have it bookmarked on itch.io, so it’s nice to see this will get fleshed out into a full game.

I haven’t played the Game Jam version, but the minimum coloring (yellow = electricity which is what you need to trigger to progress) compliments the concept well.

Walk: I am a wimpy baby chicken bitch, so I can’t do horror games, but developing the entirety of Walk’s environment to look as if they’re seen from grainy cameras is such a brilliant way to convey the terrifying unknown your player character has to face. I won’t play this, but I am definitely going to watch a Let’s Play of it.

Moonglow Bay: I’ve been excited for this one for a while. All those hours playing the fishing minigame in Ocarina of Time (and eventually Majora’s Mask) and lamenting for the existence of an entire game with an excuse plot to fill out a fish compendium will soon be fulfilled. I’m so ecstatic.

Loot River: What the fuck? What the living shit? How did they animate the water like that? What the shit? What the goddamn hell? It just looks so good!

Recolit: This game has potential to be atmospheric. It also feels like the kind of game that can deliver a Surprise Spooky or two. For some reason, the main character walking through the barely lit museum really spoke to me.

A Little to the Left: A game where you arrange objects until they’re are properly organized and/or structured? Oh-no, who made this game for me?

Yokai Inn: Sold just for the adorably whimsical graphics alone.

Mythic Ocean: Undersea exploration and sea creatures are my jam. Hope this game will fill a hole in my heart that Abzu sadly did not.

Beast of Maraville Island: I see this game and Donkey Kong Country share a continuity through their banana birds.

We are OFK: Tell you the truth, I don't really care about Band Origin stories (I'm not really a music buff kinda person), but I've been waiting for Teddy Dief and co's game for a while. Whether or not I take anything from this game by end, I know I’ll never stop listening to “Follow/Unfollow”, which I have been obsessively playing in the background non-stop the past two days. If they ever bring out the inevitable bandcamp soundtrack, I hope they also include THIS version of the song that played on the Day of the Dev pre-show because it’s just so *chef’s kiss*

Dordogne: The game's premise isn't really doing it for me, but I dig the watercolor approach.

The Gecko Gods: I remember playing the Gex 2 demo decades ago and being mesmerized by the titular character’s ability to crawl on top of walls and ceilings, and being particularly disappointed at how underutilized it was. The Gecko Gods looks to fill in that gap and I'm intrigued.

Tasomachi: It’s about an airship. I gotta. I gotta!

Bear and Breakfast: I like the art style, kind of like a webcomic if it was picked up by Cartoon Network or Netflix.

Sally: MORE airships? Well, this is the indie direct that just keeps on giving, now isn’t it?

Rainbow Billy: Repaint a black-and-white world into color is becoming A Thing in indie games, but the animation and style is just bursting with charm.

Unpacking: I played the demo for this one and it did a decent job hitting my button. There wasn’t anything more to it other than unpacking and just putting stuff in its appropriate place (it didn’t feel like there was much wiggle room - books go on bookshelves and maybe on top of a drawer, shoes goes in closet and nothing but the closet, etc), but it beats real packing/unpacking any day.

Cloud Jumper: THREE games with or about airships? Now you’re just spoiling me.

Teacup: This one just looks delightful. It feels like playing through a children’s book.

Muttropolis: You take pictures of dogs!

Amber Isle: You know, I don’t think I see enough towns and villages in games inhabited by dinosaur folks.

Moonshell Island: Apparently I’m easy to please. I see indie games look this vibrant and colorful (almost pastel, but not quite) and I’m Phillip J. “Shut up and Take My Money” Fry. I don’t even know what this game is about, but I want it.

Lego Builder’s Journey: Okay, this looks nice and the graphics are mind-blowing, but does anything made and owned by the LEGO company actually count as an indie game?

Powerwash Simulator: who made this game for me?

Toodee and Topdee: Oh, this is clever. Perspective games in my head seem to have been relegated mostly to whatever Nintendo did with their 3DS games, but this looks like it captures the spirit of it without the 3D or the eye-strain that came with it.

Apico: I’m getting a 2D open world exploration vibe from this game and I’m down for that.

#indie games #video games #day of the dev #wholesome games #neoyi talks

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infamousbicat · 3 years

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okay I just read a post and im fucking mad so. banana fish ending is harmful for survivors and I'm willing to die on this hill so hear me out

tw for general banana fish topics (csa, trauma, sa, abuse, ed). not described in detail except for recovery and general trauma experience.

first of all, let's recap. ash had suffered from:

untreated ed that nearly unalives him

multiple sexual abuses

csa

parental abuse

relatives death

abuse as a whole damm

exposure to dead and violence at an early age

grooming

manipulation

forced overwork from elders

child pornography

ptsd

...and I could go on and on and probably leave things out. is this relatable for people? yes. this is real world's issues that still happen, obviously, whatever, you get my point. ash is part of the traumatised, mentally ill rep in media. that's just how it is.

they show him having to live with all this crap, getting triggered by it and being pushed to it over and over again. they show him being weak and vulnerable and hurt, they show him being loved and being cared for, him being helped out of the shithole he was thrown in. people like blanca and eiji offering him a safe way out, a net for him to jump in. and to this point is all mildly well done.

ash has a beautiful opportunity to be happy and safe and we see him wanting to take it, literally running after it.

i can't and won't talk about all survivors bc experiences etc but. but. accepting you need help and willing to go to a safer yet unknown place is a very, very hard point for the traumatised to get through. so used to the old but known pain that nothing that isn't that feels more dangerous and more hurtful. it's so fucking difficult to accept you need and deserve safety.

and ash DOES IT. ash literally RUNS once he reads the letter to go and get eiji. he made the first step in the recovery!!!!!!

.....and then he gets fucking stabbed.

so, here. we have a victim that has done an amazing progress and finally, after years and years of abuse and pain, he has a safe way out he wants to take. and for that he gets killed.

(just for the record, ash reacting to him being killed was very on character imo and. if he was a real person, i totally believe he would have reacted that way)

but now. what's the message portraying this final?

traumatised people have no future. they had suffered so much that they are meant to stay on the pain path. they can't change. they have no way of healing. and this is simply untrue.

I've seen a lot of people say that this was the only way ash could have ended, that death was the only way out of his suffering or whatever the fuck, and that even going to japan he would have suffered for the rest of his life. that he wouldn't have lived a "normal" life.

stop pushing this agenda. in general, not only on banana fish.

death was not ash only ending. death was something pushed and forced into ash life, not a way out. we are capable and deserving of healing. and no shit of course this boy is not capable of a steriotypical normal life after all the fuckery that he has gone through.

but he is capable of happiness. he is meant to reach it and would have if the author didn't decide on pushing this weird agenda that survivors can't be okay. i mean, the end was dramatic and stuff and fitting for a piece of writing like banana fish, but that does not make it okay.

(also, the fact that they mention the ed once and never get to it again???? uh?????)

(would have been very nice seeing ash getting therapy and showing him recovering in general bc THAT would have been painful and still fitting!!!! show that traumatised ppl can get therapy!! show that we deserve healing!! show that healing is a hard journey but worth it!! don't just kill ash come on)

TDLR: banana fish ending hurts survivors by giving the message that happiness is not accessible for those who had gone through trauma.

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teamfreewill56-blog · 3 years

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Banana Fish knows how to focus on the interesting character

Warning: This analysis contains trigger topics of rape, sexual assault and trauma

Something that I really appreciate about Banana Fish is the fact that the character with the tragic backstory was the main character, not a side character. They don’t make Eiji, the normal character who just got thrown into this insanity the main character, he is –A- main character but not THE main character. From the get go we know Ash is the main character and even when it switches to Eiji’s first encounter with him, we still get that feeling that Eiji is coming into Ash’s life and things are changing, not the other way around (even though the entrance into each others’ lives changes things for both of them). Yoshida know that Ash is the interesting one, she knows that Ash is the one that we are curious about and want to know about and she does a great job keeping the focus on him. Yet she still divvy's out enough time towards Eiji and even some side characters to keep us interested in what they’re doing as well. One of my complaints is that they do talk about Ash a lot when he’s not there, and they use the analogy of him being a cat a bit too much that it starts to wear old, but at the same time they’re ALL after him. And they manage to keep this fairly small and tight-knit. It’s not hundreds of organizations after Ash, it’s at most TWO and they’re CONNECTED. Our villain Dino Golzine has his hands in EVERYTHING and she SHOWS him having his hands in everything. I love that instead of leaving things a mystery she actually shows you how Ash has got where he is, how he has the power and the influence that he does. Ash doesn’t just miraculously have a bunch of connections, his backstory with Dino tells us exactly why he has those connections and how he’d be able to get them even though he’s only 17 years old. I appreciate that she did not sugar coat the trauma that Ash and others went through after having been raped, this show does an amazing job of reminding us that rape is horrible, that treating people like sex toys is horrible and how hellish it really is to live that life and the hell that the victims of that lifestyle go through. I also appreciate that while Yoshida didn’t sugar coat the trauma she also didn’t show any full-on scenes of sex or being raped. These sexual scenes are cleaner than what I’ve seen on Supernatural or any other American TV show. The fact that she did this is an incredibly mindful action for a creator to take---and to me it speaks volumes. Yoshida isn’t bent on scarring her audience (something way too many shows are eager to do and go way overboard with) but she wants to make sure we have the proper reaction of horror and anger when these scenes happen because rape and sexual assault ARE HORRIBLE and we should be angry and horrified at the assailants and empathize/feel sorrow for the victim. And holy cow what an amazing character Ash is, his life is literal hell and while he’s not a hyper, chipper little ray of sunshine—which makes him super realistic to me—he’s also not a angsty, moody teenager. He is intelligent and creative, funny, adaptive, fearful, friendly, distant, courageous, protective and aware. He is a little moody and angsty but it fits and makes sense for his personality. His funny scenes and other characters’ funny scenes don’t take away from the seriousness of the show, it knows it’s a serious show but it also knows that humor is part of life and it’s part of being human. This too adds onto the fact that Ash is a person, he has many moments of weakness and strength, he humiliates people and gets humiliated, he is still a human and Yoshida makes sure you SEE that. These scenes add to his personality and his relationship with the other characters in the scene, and they have a purpose beyond just being funny. Ash is constantly told his status as a rape victim is what defines him and he defies it every step of the way. He isn’t immune to his trauma, he still has reactions to it, it still is a huge part of his life and he’s constantly running into it again, but he’s still MORE THAN that and this show does such a good job of showing that. We as an audience know he’s more than that and the creator shows that she knows it too, that she knows that victims are so much more than their traumas and that they deserve better. The ending is bitter and for me it’s a horrible ending because that’s not how I wanted to see things end for Ash but I feel like it was less of a commentary about how things end for rape victims and more of: Ash never truly believed he could leave this life, and even when he finally left the mafia part of it, he still couldn’t leave the gang-related portion of it, instead he clung to it and he didn’t make too many attempts to try and leave it, he settled into it and as a result the ending he got was a bit typical of gang related characters. It was still sad, I still think it should have ended better for him, but I can make sense of it.

Show: Banana Fish

Characters: Ash Lynx; Eiji Okumura; Dino Golzine

Creator: Akimi Yoshida

#banana fish #ash lynx #aslan callenreese #dino golzine #trauma

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hiraephim · 4 years

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i saw a tweet that said "banana fish isn't a good story about a gay couple, but a good story with a gay couple in it."

Sure. Normalize LGBT relationships in ordinary contexts the way hetero relationships are without needing it to be a statement.

i agree with the original tweet to a certain extent, but the replies were going off about how "right! banana fish isn't supposed to be about the relationship! it's a great story with a relationship in it!!! you guys just want ships!!"

Okay, no.

Banana Fish was 100%, undoubtedly supposed to be about Eiji and Ash's relationship. Banana Fish is nothing it's intended to be without their relationship.

Don't get me wrong. Eiji and Ash are both wonderfully developed characters by themselves. They don't need each other's substance, they have enough on their own. Banana Fish could still be a masterful story without Eiji in the picture. It could be masterful with Ash and Eiji in the same plot but none of the love. But the thing is? It wouldn't be Banana Fish.

Eiji Okumura's character was designed to be everything that Aslan Jade Callenreese needed from the beginning to the end. They were cultivated for each other because, in a situation as volatile as Banana Fish's, that's the only kind of person you can afford to hold close to you. Right?

Ash Lynx sought for something to ground him to the earth, and he found it in the Japanese intern who stupidly asked to hold his gun in poor English and then showed him how to fly.

He needed a person who was devoted to him but for their own reason, not because they were looking for benefits in return.

He needed someone innocent enough, far away from his fucked up world of brutality, to fascinate him with a new side of life yet remain empathetic enough to still be able to reach inside his chest and touch his heart.

He needed someone that needed something. Someone who was willing to find it himself by hacking away at in the mesmerizing man that had all the gangs of Lower Manhattan operating under his thumb, and who was willing love whatever he found beneath those solid layers, regardless of how "ugly" it was.

He didn't need someone to protect for the sake of Banana Fish's rigorous plot. He didn't need a love interest to fight for because the author couldn't find another reason to. He didn't need another head to think or another person to avenge for the sole purpose of character development or entertaining chaos. He didn't need to fall head over heels for the soft, unlikely character because it added more to his personality.

No, Ash Lynx didn't need those things, but he found it, and they became each other's reasons. He found it in the man that helped him feel, smile and laugh. Who gave him both blissful youth and a stable sense of reality. A taste of escape from the Hell he's thrived in. A filling for the gaping, hollow wound that those sick men from his childhood clawed out from his core.

The structure that upholds the plot revolves around Ash's allegiance to Eiji. Every antagonist in the show has said it:

I'll make Ash Lynx hurt by hurting the thing he cares about most. That foriegn boy.

Tell me, what is Banana Fish if it's not love and pining? Trust and commitment? Desperation and yearning? Then tell me, who's relationship in the show embodies that sentiment?

Who did Ash Lynx, the cold-blooded King of the underground animal Kingdom, suck whiskey down over the sink for when he had to tell them to go home? Who did he apologize to when he lost his temper? Who did he force to stay by his side because he didn't trust any other group of men on earth with their life? Who did he slaughter a hundred men without a second thought for? Who did he hold a gun against his own head and pull the trigger for in the name of their safety for? Who did he cry in dawn's sunlight and beg for God to take his life instead for? Who did he hand over and eventually destroy the world's deadliest weapon for? Who did he empty a full round into an already dead body for? Who did he prepare to bury his heart forever in the name of their safety and, at the last second, dig it back up with his bare hands and race towards them because he couldn't stand it being any other way for? Who's love letter did he die upon, a smile on his face? Most importantly, who did he die for?

Who did Eiji, an innocent ex-athelete looking for hope in another country, steal a car for? Risk his safety and wellbeing for? Care and nuture for? Cook and clean for? Threaten an enemy with a shard of glass for? Swear to go insane if he ever lost them for? Ditch a free plane back to a safe and sound continent for? Stage and lead a mission to get them back from a mafia Don for? Shoot a man for? Beg to go back to Japan with him for? Take a bullet for? Write a multi-page love letter for? Who did he ride the first plane back to New York when he heard about their death and live his days out there for? Who does he curse himself everyday for not crawling on his hands and knees to deliver that letter to them himself, despite the fact he was in a wheelchair for? Who does his heart revolve around years after their death?

Eiji was the catalyst to revealing Aslan Callenreese's full potential. Who Ash Lynx became at the end of Banana Fish wouldn't exist if Eiji Okumura hadn't come along and loved him the way he did. Yes, romantically. Transcendentally.

Do not tell me Banana Fish isn't about their relationship. Their relationship is everything that Banana Fish is about. The plot was made for Ash and Eiji to grow in, not the other way around.

#banana fish #okumura eiji #eiji okumura #eijiash #ash x eiji #ash lynx #aslan callenreese #aslan jade callenreese #manga #anime #asheiji

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anzu2snow · 3 years

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Today’s Agender Pride Day. This isn’t very well known, and I tend to forget until I look at facebook memories or a page might post on the day of about it. I realized I was agender a few years ago, but always knew I was ‘different’ gender wise. By the way, it means I don’t have a gender. It’s not a political statement or anything. I simply don’t have one. One of the questions I asked people when I was questioning, was what does gender feel like? The answers were either vague, I couldn’t relate, or they couldn’t answer. I can see it in other people, but for me there is literally nothing there. It’s like I’m an alien observing other people. Some agender people lean masculine or feminine. I don’t. I’m neither. I view those as styles, and like nice fancy masks but I don’t feel like I can relate or are them. I think my ideal gender expression would be a mix of those ‘styles’. Not sure if I’d call it androgynous. Some agender people experience dysphoria, and some don’t. I do. Basically anything gendered has potential to trigger it. That’s a lot of things. Body wise, I feel like a patchwork doll. My chest, facial hair, ‘downstairs’ (although vague), wide shoulders, etc. get to me. My chest is probably the source of most of my dysphoria, and I might not get top surgery. It’s up to me, but it could make my cancer progress. Anyways, it’s great there’s a pride day for us.

Today’s also World IBD Day. I was diagnosed with IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) in July of 2015. It often gets confused with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), but they are very different. They never were sure whether it is UC (Ulcerative Colitis) or Crohn’s Disease. UC only affects the colon and rectum, while Crohn’s can affect the entire digestive system from the mouth to the anus. In both cases the body is essentially eating away at its own digestive system. That’s why it’s considered an autoimmune disease. Mine had signs that it slightly affected my stomach and duodenum, and that’s why they were leaning towards Crohn’s. Plus, my symptoms lined up more with it. The only reason they aren’t sure is because of an IBD blood test that came back saying it was UC. My entire colon was affected and has been scarred pretty badly from it. When I saw the pics they got from the first colonoscopy, I thought it looked beautiful. My colon looked like an angry red sky with tons of bright yellow stars. Those ‘stars’ were ulcers. Not good. The ‘red sky’ part was the inflammation. Before being diagnosed, the scariest thing was not knowing. I had symptoms of it as early as January that year. I had malabsorption problems at one point. There’s no cure for it. It can only go into remission with meds, and even then it’s really just slowed it down to a crawl. I haven’t been on any meds for it for a few years now. I’ve been told that I’ve been in remission during this time, but I think I’ve had brief flares of it since then. Diet doesn’t affect the disease itself, however it can help with symptoms/side effects. I’ve figured out some of my trigger foods. That being things like popcorn, corn, summer sausage, and more. While in remission, some foods can still irritate the scarring in my colon. So, I try to stay away from insoluble fiber, and eat more soluble fiber. I eat more cooked/peeled vegetables and some fruit. Soups help a lot this way. I’ve figured out some of my soothing and calming foods, too. That helps when I feel like I’m in a flare. Things like eggs, fish, oatmeal, potatoes, bananas, ice cream and cheese (most people have dairy as a trigger, so I’m weird this way), challah (a type of bread), plain chicken, and more. IBD can affect other things outside of the digestive tract. For instance, bones, liver, eyes, teeth, skin, and more. It’s not just a ‘bathroom’ disease. Before getting the cancer diagnosis, IBD was the biggest thing I was going through.

#agender #genderless #trans #transgender #nonbinary #enby #genderqueer #agender pride day #world ibd day #ibd #inflammatory bowel disease #colitis #ulcerative colitis #crohns #health #autoimmune disease

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pair-annoyed · 4 years

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Anime I Watched in Quarantine

With some of the restrictions being lifted, I wanted to make a sort of master post to see just how much I’ve watched in my time off. Plus, I wanted to share something more lighthearted with everyone.

All of these anime will be rated on a 1-10 scale, 10 meaning masterpiece, 1 meaning complete garbage. I’ll also share what I liked/didn’t like about each show. This list will go in chronological order, and will encompass all anime from 3/13 - 6/13. Multiple Seasons will be grouped together.

1. Beastars - 8/10

I dig how human and down-to-earth Beastars is. The pacing was a nice and the animation was unexpectedly great! It’s driving force is its characters and their interactions. Felt a little slow at times, and Juno annoys me, but that’s okay. I’ll be watching season 2.

2. Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun - 8/10

Oh my god! This visuals for this were absolutely wonderful! It did feel a little cliche at times, I won’t lie. But, I still loved all of these characters and the nice balance between creepy and comedy.

3. Ao No Exorcist - 6/10

I posted about this one after I finished it. The ending really pissed me off. I feel like if I had watched this when I was 13, I would’ve given it a higher score. Compared to some of the other shounen I’ve watched, this felt a bit basic. That doesn’t mean I still didn’t like it. Still have to get around to watching season 2...

4. Kaichou wa Maid-sama! 6.5/10

Shoujo usually isn’t my cup of tea. Maid-sama was a nice way to ease into the cliches of shoujo. Misaki is a great protagonist and the ending Maid-sama was so satisfying. I’m only giving it a low score because of its slow pacing and lack of certain character development.

5. Violet Evergarden Gaiden: Eien to Jidou Shuki Ningyou - 7/10

I’m a big Violet Evergarden fan to begin with, so of course I liked this movie. It did not resonate with me as much as the series itself, but I still enjoyed it. Kyoto animation is never disappointing in their visuals and sound design

6. Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai! - 8/10

Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai! Ren - 6.5/10

Chuunibyou was a breath of fresh air for me. It was so different from all other romance anime I had seen at the time. It for sure has a slice of life vibe to it, but it was still so good! It reminded me of being in middle school and my “chuunibyou” phase. The second season was not as enjoyable as the first. I guess I just had higher expectations for Rikka and Yuuta.

7. Dr. Stone - 7/10

Dr. Stone is honestly such a perfect shounen for me. I’m a science nerd, and with taking AP Chem this year it was kind of nice to sorta apply my knowledge. This show also has some of the best reaction images ever. The tone, however, is a little inconsistent which made it hard to keep watching. I do love the relationship between Senku and his Dad, that whole sub-plot was so endearing.

8. Oshiete! Galko-chan - 6/10

This one only gets a low score because its so short and the op takes up like half an episode. This show had been in the back of my mind for a while. I decided to watch it after seeing a video essay discussing it. Its masterful subversion of tropes and stereotypes was refreshing. The message of this show is so positive, and everyone can benefit from watching something like this.

9. Mairimashita Iruma-kun - 5/10

The second half of Mairimashita Iruma-kun was so much better. I’m not completely sure why I didn’t like this as much as I should have. Overall, its a really average show. The comedy (and musical numbers???) give this show and charismatic and chaotic vibe. I’m someone who focuses primarily on character-character interactions, and this show definitely had it. It isn’t monogatari levels of dialogue but it’s still nice. For the studio’s low budget, they were able to make a really bright and colorful show. I’ll be watching season 2.

10. Byousoku 5 Centimeter - 8/10

Very. VERY. Pretty!! This one was another one that didn’t completely resonate with me emotionally. I still loved the story and the way it was told. Its not like Your Name or Tenki no Ko, it’s realistic and grounded.

11. Mob Psycho 100 - 8/10

Mob Psycho 100 II - 9/10

Style alone made Mob Psycho 100 so impressive. By the second half of each season I was emotional invested in Mob and his whole journey. Season 2 is receiving a higher score because it was able to make me cry. That’s something I NEVER expected. I’m mad I didn’t watch this sooner. It is a great balance of action, comedy, and heart.

12. Noragami Aragoto - 8/10

Not sure why I put off Norogami’s second season for so long. I absolutely loved it. The focus on Bishimon was a nice change of pace and it was great to see Yukine develop more as a character and begin to loose his arrogance. Kazuma was my favorite character in all of this. His ability to affect the people around him was presented nicely. I was emotionally invested the whole way through, and I’ll probably pick up the manga.

13. Ookami Shoujo to Kuro Ouji - 3/10

Ah yes. My least favorite thing on planet earth. This is a wonderful example of Shoujo at its worst. Their relationship was incredibly toxic, and the characters themselves were poorly developed and generic. The whole time all I could think was that I was watching normalized Stockholm Syndrome. Our MC deserves so much better.

14. Youjo Senki - 6/10

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting to like Youjo Senki as much as I did. I’m not usually one for iesekai. The action was great, but the use of CGI bogged down scenes. I do NOT really like the protagonist that much because she came across as apathetic. Towards the end, I started to like her more. This was also my first military/warfare-focused anime. If either a movie or second season is made, I will probably not watch it.

15. Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica - 6.5/10

I wanted to like Madoka Magica more than I did. I really did. The style was compelling and the story was interesting. Especially in the beginning, a lot of the death and sad stuff didn’t feel all that sad. The last 4 episodes are a solid 8/10, I love time shenanigans. The emotions and character development really shined through in the end. Madoka is such an inherently kind-hearted person, I love her so much!

16. Yakusoku no Neverland - 8.5/10

I was expecting Yakusoku no Neverland to be more graphic, but I’m kind of glad it didn’t go that route. Like Madoka, the last four episodes had me really invested. However, the character development was not as rushed. It’s a smart show and welcomed change of pace. Emma is my favorite character and you bet I’ll be watching season 2. The more I think about this show, the more I appreciate it.

17. Mo Dao Zu Shi - 9/10

Mo Dao Zu Shi 2nd Season - 8/10

I know that is is technically a donghua, but I’m counting it as an anime because its on MAL. Amazing visuals and an incredibly layered story. Censorship makes it difficult to fully appreciate this work and its original novel. Even though I was confused for the first 2 episodes, Mo Dao Zu Shi did a great job of developing the time period and character relationships. The second season wasn’t as satisfying as the first but still great! I don’t think I’ll be watching the live action anytime soon, but I believe that a 3rd season is confirmed for 2020.

18. Banana Fish - 8.5/10

I knew nothing about Banana Fish going into it. Although I didn’t cry at the ending, it definitely made me feel some type of way. Kind of... numb. Banana Fish is painfully realistic. So much so that I had to take a break after episode 15 because I felt sick to my stomach. I also praise Banana Fish for it’s healthy, non-fetishized relationship representation. Eiji and Ash have such a complex but healthy relationship. I hope Banana Fish is able to pave the way for better representation in media.

19. Promare - 5/10

Why do people praise Promare so much? I hated how predictable it was. The whole movie felt like a 2 hour animation flex for Trigger. The only character in this movie that didn’t manage to piss me off it some way was Lio. The only other thing I’ve seen by studio Trigger is Kill la Kill, so compared to that, this felt like such a step down. :( I was disappointed.

20. Given - 6/10

Given made me both sad and made me want to start a band. Overall the animation is nothing special, I do like the reactions that some of the characters had. Especially that “It’s Mutual” gif set. I couldn’t get over how much Ritsuka looks like Kageyama. My only complaint was how rushed Mafuyu and Ritsuka’s relationship felt. More time should have been dedicated to Mafuyu dealing with and moving past the loss in his life. All that said, I’m still watching the movie.

21. Enen no Shouboutai - 5/10

Generic Shounen, bad ending, great animation. Need I say more? I did not watch Soul Eater (made by same creator), but this was enjoyable. Really cool fights, not so cool character development. A lot of the explanations towards the end felt like complete bull shit. Same energy as using fancy sounding science words to explain things.

22. Hataraku Maou-Sama - 5.5/10

This is another show I felt I would’ve liked more if I watched it when I was younger. The iesekai trope is so beaten down that classics like this don’t really carry as much weight as they originally did. A 24 episode season with more Slice of Life episodes would’ve benefited this series greatly.

23. BNA - 7/10

BNA, in my opinion, was so much better than Promare. Like Hataraku Maou-sama, BNA would’ve benefited from a longer season with more Slice of Life Episodes. Trigger’s newer animation is beautiful and I really hope BNA gets renewed for a second season. The ending was cliche as hell, but still really enjoyed this show!

24. Devilman: Crybaby - 7/10

A.K.A. The one show I’ve got to watch when I know I’m alone. The use of multiple languages besides Japanese in the sub was a unique take. The animation was also a little jarring at first, but I came to love it. The themes in this are not the most positive. The end left me feeling numb, but also appreciative. Ryo pissed me off as soon as he tried to kill that cat, so it was hard to sympathize with him in the very end. It is a really good show, but also sickening, Watch at your own discretion.

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mangekyuou · 4 years

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━ ❝ forever young, i want to be forever young. do you really want to live forever? forever? and ever? ❞

INFORMATION ! ◄

━━━━━━ NUMBER ONE ! this is a collection of works, most of them are just for fun and to help me grow as a writer. while some are more personal to me and are based off of events that have happened in my life. i’m doing this month long event for november kind of in celebration of me moving into the next chapter of my life, adulthood.

━━━━━━ NUMBER TWO ! under the cut, are a list of prompts i will be using. during this event, there will be fluff, angst, slice of life, aus, etc. there will also be mature themes and possibly triggering content that i will be sure to tag and label accordingly.

━━━━━━ NUMBER THREE ! each prompt has a character attached to it, which will be revealed when the day the prompt is posted. there will be characters from different animes, including naruto, jjba, one piece, and banana fish.

━━━━━━ NUMBER FOUR ! a number of these prompts are based on some of my favorite songs.

━━━━━━ NUMBER FIVE ! this little “event” is supposed to help me really get back into writing. so pay no real attention to it. between these, i am still working on requests !!

━━━━━━ NUMBER SIX ! this is my first time every doing something like this. i really hope it works out and i can post everything on time and do well.

let forever young november begin !!

━━━━━━ DAY ONE “run away...run run run! get away from me!” 🖤 ━━ nico robin.

━━━━━━ DAY TWO “but when he walks in, I am loved...i am loved” 🖤 ━━ senju tobirama.

━━━━━━ DAY THREE “your body is imperfectly perfect” 🖤 ━━ nara shikamaru.

━━━━━━ DAY FOUR “i know I can’t make you run away with me...” 🖤 ━━ roronoa zoro.

━━━━━━ DAY FIVE “i need to hate you before it’s too late” 🖤 ━━ uchiha sasuke.

━━━━━━ DAY SIX “just a reminder in case you forgotten” 🖤 ━━ vinsmoke sanji.

━━━━━━ DAY SEVEN “it’s crazy what you do for a friend” 🖤 ━━ higashikata josuke.

━━━━━━ DAY EIGHT “don’t look at me like that!” 🖤 ━━ hatake kakashi.

━━━━━━ DAY NINE “if i disappeared, would you look for me?” 🖤 ━━ monkey d. luffy.

━━━━━━ DAY TEN “hey, it’s okay. let it out” 🖤 ━━ uzumaki naruto.

━━━━━━ DAY ELEVEN “even though we’ll never get to heaven...” 🖤 ━━ sing soo ling.

━━━━━━ DAY TWELVE “i don’t want to hurt him anymore” 🖤 ━━ uchiha obito.

━━━━━━ DAY THIRTEEN “you don’t owe me anything” 🖤 ━━ smoker.

━━━━━━ DAY FOURTEEN “do you think we’ll be in love forever?” 🖤 ━━ uchiha itachi.

━━━━━━ DAY FIFTEEN “you’ll just leave...like everyone else” 🖤 ━━ kujo jotaro.

━━━━━━ DAY SIXTEEN “me and god, we don’t get along” 🖤 ━━ ash lynx.

━━━━━━ DAY SEVENTEEN “you can think that you’re in love, when you’re really just in pain” 🖤 ━━ kujo jotaro.

━━━━━━ DAY EIGHTEEN “do you want me to leave?” 🖤 ━━ yamanaka ino.

━━━━━━ DAY NINETEEN “i think we can do it if we tried” 🖤 ━━ nefertari vivi.

━━━━━━ DAY TWENTY “i know what you’re going to say, please don’t say it” 🖤 ━━ shorter wong.

━━━━━━ DAY TWENTY-ONE “isn’t it better to regret things you’ve done, than regret things you’ve never even tried?” 🖤 ━━ nami

━━━━━━ DAY TWENTY-TWO “you’re lost at sea, then i’ll command your boat to me again” 🖤 ━━ shanks.

━━━━━━ DAY TWENTY-THREE “there’s things i want to say to you, but i’ll just let you live” 🖤 ━━ uchiha sasuke.

━━━━━━ DAY TWENTY-FOUR “we were never friends” 🖤 ━━ monkey d. luffy.

━━━━━━ DAY TWENTY-FIVE “don’t tell them anything” 🖤 ━━ joseph joestar & caesar zeppeli

━━━━━━ DAY TWENTY-SIX “let’s meet again one of these nights” 🖤 ━━ dracule mihawk.

━━━━━━ DAY TWENTY-SEVEN “make sure you come back to me” 🖤 ━━ jiraiya.

━━━━━━ DAY TWENTY-EIGHT “why did you run away?” 🖤 ━━ edward newgate.

━━━━━━ DAY TWENTY-NINE “you’re safe” 🖤 ━━ kujo jotaro.

━━━━━━ DAY THIRTY “you’re an idiot...my idiot” 🖤 ━━ roronoa zoro.

BACK TO NAViGATiON . . . / ☻

[ format inspired by @moriochou !! ]

#anime fanfics #anime fics #anime x reader #jojo's bizarre adventures #JoJo no Kimyō na Bōken #jjba #jjba x reader #naruto #naruto x reader #one piece #one piece x reader #writing event #forever young november #fyn #fyn.guide #hakujitsu ── 𝘻 𝘴𝘩𝘶𝘵 𝘶𝘱. 𓂃 ★☆#slow dancing in the dark ── 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴. 𓂃 ★☆

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

Note

Sorry if I’m rude, but I really don’t get the Ugetsu hype at all 😕, would you mind explaining it please, I would like to widen my perception of him

Hello, dear anon!

First of all, I’m so sorry for keeping your ask waiting for so long. You would think that as an Ugetsu fan, I would have been jumping up and down because of this question - and don’t get me wrong, I am excited. But much like with my previous Given ask, I found myself a bit puzzled by what to say, to be honest. Turned out this wasn’t as “simple” of a question as I originally thought.

Secondly, don’t worry, your question isn’t rude. On the contrary, I think it’s admirable if you want to try to understand someone else’s bias and interests. It doesn’t mean you will start liking and being passionate about the same things, but I think it’s always welcomed to ask people why they like something. I’m not expecting you to start liking Ugetsu after reading how I feel about him, but your attitude is something I think we desperately need more of in this fandom.

“I really don’t get the Ugetsu hype at all 😕, would you mind explaining it please”

It’s interesting to me that you speak of “Ugetsu hype”. According to my time in the Given fandon, Ugetsu does have fans but he is probably one of the least liked characters. My gut feeling says that out of the main cast (Uenoyama, Mafuyu, Akihiko, Haruki, Ugetsu), Ugetsu is definitely the least liked among the fans. So, I can’t say I have witnessed any “hype” regarding him. Apart from a couple of hardcore Ugetsu stans, the closest to “hype” I have seen is people wishing he would find happiness after he and Akihiko broke up.

Also, I don’t think I can really “explain” anything either. Certainly not as some kind of fandom phenomenon. I can only speak for myself and myself only. The reasons why I love Ugetsu might not be why some other fans love him. I think that’s important to remember whenever talking about favorite characters/ships in general. We can never know why someone loves something, so I don’t think we should judge anyone on a personal level for liking something in fiction.

To give my answer some structure, I thought I would use some of my favorite Ugetsu illustrations.

His character design and overall “vibe”:

As a reader/viewer/fan, I am more often than not interested in the somehow controversial characters and they usually end up becoming my favorites. Gotou Masamune (3-gatsu no lion), She Li (19 Days), Sing Soo-Ling (Banana Fish), Bakugou Katsuki (Boku no Hero Academia), Joker (DC Comics), Oikawa Tooru (Haikyuu), Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter), and Oh Sangwoo (Killing Stalking) to name a few. I have always connected more with the antagonists and found them more interesting.

So, with a track record like that, I wasn’t surprised when my heart made a beeline to Ugetsu’s character. To me, it was pretty much love at first sight. I was instantly drawn to him: dark, sensual, and beautiful. In the anime, I absolutely loved his character’s mischievous and playful voice acting.

Ugetsu had an aura of solitude and distance to him, but he was also needy and affectionate in his own way. His frankness and mischief seemed to work as defense and yet he was also surprisingly vulnerable and even afraid. In many ways, he was like a cat who are often misunderstood as assholes when there is also a lot of character, affection, and intimacy packed in them.

Kizu’s choice of instrument for Ugetsu also fascinated me. To me, the violin is one of the most beautiful and intricate instruments, and it fits Ugetsu’s character perfectly. It's elegant, incredibly difficult, and kind of temperamental. The violin is sorrowful, seductive, and possesses loads of charisma. It sounds beautiful on its own though the more solitary it is, the more lonely it sounds. But it can also be a light, playful and mischievous sound, bouncing and chasing in the air. In either case, the violin won't allow itself to be ignored.

To pair Ugetsu with the classical violin especially was also great. First of all, learning the violin on the level of becoming a soloist requires incredible discipline, dedication, and passion. Violin is a very unforgiving instrument, but it also gives you freedom. Things like intonation and phrasing are where a talent like a soloist could shine and express themselves. I think that kind of combination of disciplined precision and expressive freedom fits Ugetsu so, so well.

His softer and more vulnerable side:

I often see comments that Ugetsu didn’t really love Akihiko or care about him. Some readers think he was selfish, heartless, and abusive/toxic towards Akihiko in their relationship. And they feel sorry for anyone who later ends up in a relationship with him. To some people, Ugetsu came across as the lowest of low in his time with Akihiko.

Now, I am not going to try and claim that Ugetsu didn’t hurt Akihiko. He most certainly did, oftentimes knowingly when he was trying to push him away. Their relationship was no doubt turbulent and painful for both of them, and I’m sure they will both be happier now freed of their cycle. Even though I am an Ugetsu fan, I don’t want to make it sound like he couldn’t have done a lot of things differently.

However, I also see some parts of myself in Ugetsu. I relate to his certain type of uneasiness when it comes to letting someone/something occupy my priorities. It makes me restless and defensive easily, and I end up rejecting that someone/something which often comes across as being cold. That was an important part of why Ugetsu originally wanted to break up with Akihiko. His love for Akihiko grew so deep it posed as a “threat” to Ugetsu’s sense of “order” when it came to his passion for music. Despite of how their relationship ended, I don’t agree that Ugetsu is somehow incapable of loving someone, it just scares him and is something he needs to figure out for himself. Also, because I somewhat relate to Ugetsu in this sense, it kind of stings when people are so eager to proclaim that his kinds of people don’t deserve someone to love them.

I also believe Ugetsu cared about Akihiko and was worried about him. He did notice Akihiko had started to lose his passion for music and in a way, was giving up on himself. He wanted Akihiko to find his “trigger” again somehow. I have also read interpretations that Ugetsu probably felt guilty about how their relationship seemed to affect Akihiko’s drive. I think that’s an interesting point. Overall, it’s important to remember that partly why Ugetsu initially wanted to break up was to also “free” Akihiko from his suffering. I don’t think that is something that a heartless character would do.

I do think Ugetsu was happy with Akihiko in many ways, but it’s not his style to be flustered and lovey-dovey about it. Which is another thing I find myself somewhat relating to. Instead of being super romantic, I think Ugetsu shows his love and happiness by being clingy, playful/mischievous, and letting someone in his space both mentally and physically (by this, I don’t mean just sleeping with someone but actually letting them see him as a private person). Despite of the lack of proper communication being one of the problems in AkiUgetsu, I think Akihiko was one of the few people who really knew Ugetsu.

AkiUgetsu as roommates:

The beautiful coloring of the panel is by o_yang_o on Twitter.

I think it’s safe to say that most of the Ugetsu-hate stems from his time of being roommates with Akihiko. It was a very dark time for both of them despite the occasional islands of reminiscencing the good parts of their relationship. Ugetsu hurt Akihiko in many ways during that time and realized his behavior was hurting him.

But I think people often forget that Ugetsu was unhappy and hurting, too. Of course, it doesn’t excuse his actions but it explains them. Letting go of Akihiko was just as hard - if not harder - for Ugetsu as letting go of Ugetsu was for Akihiko. In his incapability of cutting the relationship off, Ugetsu resorted in trying to push Akihiko away by hurting him, but Akihiko wouldn’t give up on him. So, his actions didn’t come from some deep-rooted evil but rather being in pain and scared. He wanted the suffering to end but at the same, he couldn’t picture Akihiko not coming back and was terrified of everything, even the music, disappearing in the basement if Akihiko did leave him.

I think the breakdown Ugetsu had when Akihiko finally broke up with him was telling of how difficult taking that last step had been for Ugetsu as well. He was scared of letting go and being let go of because surely nothing would be left behind. It’s true that it was Ugetsu who originally wanted to break up, but it was Akihiko who needed to walk away first when it finally came down to it. I think Ugetsu’s reaction spoke volumes of how deep his feelings for Akihiko truly ran. In short, AkiUgetsu ended up in a bad and painful direction, but I most definitely believe Ugetsu overall is capable of loving someone and he has a caring/affectionate side to him as well.

Overall, what I love about Ugetsu is his complexity and layers. You need to see deeper than his behavior to see his character as a whole. He’s not innocent and has many flaws, but he’s also not the cold and distant human monster he’s sometimes made out to be. I think Kizu put a lot of care and effort into building his character and did a beautiful job.

Liking a character like Ugetsu ultimately comes down to personal taste and preferences. I can understand that he’s not everyone’s cup of tea or if he evokes negative feelings. But I don’t think it’s fair to see some characters in a black-and-white manner if you’re at the same time making an effort to see behind some other character’s behavior. You don’t have to like every character and you can have biases, but if you catch yourself knowingly ignoring something, your reading probably isn’t the most accurate. A “lesson” I came to realize in my journey with AkiHaru.

Thank you for your question and patience, dear anon!

#given #murata ugetsu #akiugetsu #answered ask

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bitsandbobsandstuff · 5 years

Text

Right there

Summary: Love stories aren’t always grand, sweeping epics. Sometimes they come soft and slow, made up of a million different things, and you may not even recognize what you have until it’s right there in front of you. This is one of those stories.

Characters: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Brief mission related trauma. Oreo thievery and dirty bubblegum. Mostly just buckets of fluff.

A/N: Hello Tumblr friends! I’ve been in a writing drought lately and it feels like forever since I posted anything, so here’s a short, fluffy fic while I try to Stella my groove back. My plan was to make this snappy and snarky, but it went full scale mush by the end. Guys, I just really love Bucky Barnes. ♥️

Want to find all my stories? Search #bitsmasterlist or try the link in my bio!

*****

“Right there. Do you see?”

The murmur is low in your ear. Smoothing the folds of emerald green satin, you follow Bucky’s glance down and see the tips of your freshly painted toes, clad in sparkly sandals and peeping from beneath the evening gown. Nothing out of the ordinary, until you notice one thing.

“Gross. What the hell is that?” you whisper.

Stuck like glue to the front of your right shoe, curling over the edge and dangerously close to your bare skin, is a piece of neon blue bubblegum.

Keeping one eye trained on the crush of inebriated party goers, searching out the mission target for the evening, you try a few options.

Scrape the edge of the shoe on the marble floor. Pointless.

Give a couple stealthy stomps. Useless.

Try to wipe it on Bucky’s trouser leg. Bucky sighs heavily and sure, that’s entertaining.

But no matter what you try, this appears to be the superglue of all gum. Bucky stares straight ahead, eyes roaming the crowd, but you see him periodically glance over, gauging your progress.

There’s no real harm, you can fix it later, but every time you shift your weight, the tacky feel of it sticks to the floor and makes a small snick sound. Like a parasite, the dirty, chewed up wad creeps further up the shoe, so close to defiling your pristine toes, and the whole thing is driving you bananas.

“Pay attention to the mission,” Bucky whispers sternly, but as of immediately, there’s a new mission in town. So, when your revolutionary idea arrives in a wave of brilliance, you take immediate action.

Nestled snug against Bucky’s lower back, hidden beneath his tuxedo jacket, sits his favorite knife. Without a thought, you reach up and tug it from the sheath, turning to face the back wall, balancing on one leg and gripping his forearm for support.

And then, frozen in shock, Bucky proceeds to watch you use his favorite knife - the one he sleeps with under his pillow, the one he keeps beside his morning Cheerios, the one he painstakingly sharpens after each and every mission - to dig at the dirty blue bubblegum fused to the bottom of your shoe.

“Disgusting,” you mutter. With a twist and flourish, it pops free and you fling it away, sending it flying into one of those tacky potted ferns by the bathroom. Smothering a laugh, you shoot Bucky a challenging look - and then slide the sticky knife back in the sheath.

You slide it back in the sheath without cleaning it.

Bucky grinds his teeth so hard his jaw locks up.

There is no earthly reason you should still be alive after this sacrilegious approach to basic knife protocol, but when he subtly leans over to voice his intense displeasure, he has the sudden desire to laugh.

“Everything okay, Barnes?” you ask under your breath, resuming your scan of the crowd. An insanely devilish grin tugs at your lips, and he huffs at the playful nudge of your elbow.

“Just fuckin’ peachy,” he mumbles drily, and then he marvels at the thought that follows.

Because right there, Bucky Barnes decides that maybe that proper knife etiquette isn’t all that important.

As long as he can see you smile.

*****

“Right there. Do you see?”

Bucky stands stoic at the open kitchen cabinet, pointing at the top shelf, his furious glare driving daggers into Sam’s heart.

“Dude, I swear I didn’t touch them.”

“You’re a lying liar who lies, Wilson.”

“Dude, I fucking swear. Get over yourself, damn.”

Sam stands with his arms crossed, an equally exasperated sneer on his face. Sitting on the couch, buried under a mountain of blankets, you watch with interest. Back and forth they trade barbs, a verbal tennis match full of snarky comments, childish quips, and the occasional mention of each other’s mom. Finally, Sam throws his hands up and whirls away.

“You’re fucking impossible, asshole.”

Bucky bangs the cabinet door shut and stomps over to you, plopping into an armchair to sulk. Smiling in commiseration, you stay silent, furtively trying to swallow. You’re so close to success, but then it happens.

No matter how hard you try, the crinkle of an Oreo package is too obvious.

At the sound, Bucky’s head snaps up.

“What was that?” he asks, suspicious. Eyes wide, you shrug in silent innocence. Bucky scrutinizes your pile of blankets, realization dawning. “Was that - did you steal my Oreos?”

Another silent, vehement shake of the head. You’re close, so close, just one more swallow -

“Okay,” he says slowly. “Prove it. Whistle for me.”

Damn.

When you purse your lips and blow, nothing comes out. Well, nothing except flecks of black Oreo crumbs. Swallowing the rest of the cookie, you fish out the bottle of milk hiding under the blanket and wash it all down, smacking your lips.

“Oh, sorry. Were these your Oreos?” you ask sweetly.

Bucky bites the inside of his cheek and tries to be mad, he genuinely tries really hard, but it doesn’t work. Launching himself from the chair, he bounces onto the couch next to you, sending your milk sloshing and you squawking in faux anger.

“You dirty little thief,” he deadpans, snatching away the package. Shoving three cookies in his mouth, he steals your bottle of milk and chugs it down. When he finishes, a white milk mustache is painted above his lip. It turns this dark man, someone with decades of gunpowder on his fingers and bloodstains on his soul, back into a young boy. Carefree and innocent, brimming with happy laughter. Swallowing hard, you reach over and carefully wipe it away with a firm brush of your thumb.

And right there, Bucky Barnes discovers the simple beauty of cookies and milk and the feel of your cool fingers on his skin.

*****

“Right there. Do you see?”

No. You didn’t. And that’s the problem.

Every blow of your fists unleashes something inside.

Smack, smack, smack.

Harder and faster, the punching bag absorbs all the pent of anger and lingering fury of a failed mission.

Smack, smack, smack.

It was so close. It was right there. You should have seen it. Should have remembered the bad guys never play nice, and the price of hesitation is a life. Memories trigger memories, sparking through your brain like a circuit board of bad decisions, lighting up one after another. Bucky stands on the other side of the bag, silently watching you pummel those demons trying to burrow into your skin.

“Talk to me,” he says quietly, and you frantically shake your head.

Smack, smack, smack.

Tears spill over. They blur your vision, turning the punching bag and the tall soldier holding it, into shapeless blobs. Blinking them away, wiping your runny nose on tape covered hands, the salt of tears and sweat drips into the busted-up gashes across your knuckles. It stings, a vicious reminder of what was lost. The scent of blood fills your nostrils and there are those memories again, a tsunami of pain barreling through.

Smack, smack, smack.

“Go away, Bucky. Leave me alone,” you snarl, aching arms still swinging at the punching bag. He ignores the request, a stalwart statue. It infuriates you in an unexplainable way and you spit the words in his face. “God dammit, fuck you, I don’t want - I don’t need - I don’t - I mean it. I fucking mean it. Please, just” smack “fucking” smack “go.”

Smack.

Like a booming clap of thunder, your last punch is so hard, it explodes the fragile wall holding the tears at bay.

Knees buckle. Shoulders slump. Fists slam the floor. You go down hard, and the result is devastation.

Ugly, wrenching sobs claw up your throat, stuck behind your clenched teeth until you open your mouth and howl. It hurts to cry this way, to let everything loose and accept the consequences of your failure. You will never save them all, and that clarity is a special brand of destruction.

Bucky says nothing. No words can solve this pain. No one knows that better than him.

Instead, he lays down on the sweat drenched mats beside you. Without a word, he wraps you into a hug, tucking you against his chest. Even if you don’t deserve this comfort, you cling to it. Clutching his shirt, the only lifeline you have left, you cry until that bottomless well of pain and misery finally runs dry. It takes hours, but Bucky is patient, never ceasing the comforting strokes up and down your spine.

And when it’s done, when your exhaustion leaves you unable to open puffy eyes, he simply lifts you up and carries you to your room. Places you gently on your bed and pulls the blankets over you.

“Bucky. Don’t go. Please don’t leave,” you beg hoarsely, and the misery in your voice breaks him. The bed dips as he climbs in beside you, wrapping you in his arms once again and you feel his lips brush your forehead.

The night bleeds into a dreary grey dawn, and right there, Bucky Barnes sinks into the comfort of a dreamless sleep, with you cradled tight in the heat of his arms.

*****

“Right there. Do you see?”

Eyes closed against the shining sun, you offer a sleepy hum. There’s a rustle of movement, and something soft tickles your cheek. It runs across your nose, touches your eyelids, sweeps light as a feather over your lips.

Eyes struggle open, and there you find Bucky watching, a little purple flower held in his long fingers. The look on his face is unreadable. He does that sometimes, looks at you like he wants to say something more, but he always hesitates, the words stuck in confused silence.

The petals wave faintly in the breeze and you smile.

“Pretty,” you say.

“Just a weed,” he shrugs.

“Still pretty,” you say. “Hand it over.”

Bucky places it in your outstretched palm. Gives a wry shake of the head.

“You’re the only one I know, who thinks weeds are beautiful.”

The small blossom sits thoughtfully in your hand and you hold it up, squinting to the sun.

“Just because something has a bad name, doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful.”

There’s a peculiar hope in Bucky’s face as he considers the statement. He likes those words. He likes them a lot. Wants to believe they might even include him too. But nervous silver fingers pick at the threadbare edge of the picnic blanket, and you see a shadow of self-doubt flit over his handsome face.

“Sometimes a weed is still a weed. Even pretty words can’t change that fact.”

The reference is clear. You know exactly what he means, because the list of negative metaphors Bucky uses to describe himself has grown extensive and colorful over the years. Rising to your knees, you shuffle closer until you’re facing him.

“Hey,” you say gently. Careful hands cup his face, the scratchy feel of his beard on your palms softer than you expected. “You better not be calling yourself a weed, Barnes. I’d hate to kick your ass out here in public.”

The shimmer of unshed tears in those blue eyes makes you ache for him. But when Bucky sees the determination in your face, he blinks them away. And like the little weed in your hand, a tiny smile begins to bloom.

He clears his throat.

“Kick my ass, huh? I’d really love to see how that goes.”

“It’ll go my way,” you say confidently. Picking up his heavy hand, you turn it palm up and peel his fingers back. Laying the purple flower in his hand, the vivid color glows against the bright silver. “See? Beautiful. Just like you.”

He stares at the flower. Looks up.

It happens right there, in the sun-soaked summer fields of Central Park; Bucky Barnes feels his heart stop at the taste of your kiss.

*****

“Right there. Do you see?”

Lost in thought, Bucky startles at the question.

Following the line of your arm, he sees you pointing into the infinite ocean of blue-black. Stars are speckled through the heavens, patterns of constellations and figures that you always manage see, but he can never seem to find.

Stuck in the middle of nowhere, the two of you walk along, miles from civilization. The first hint of winter settles all around, hard frost covering the tips of the grass, coating the pebbles edging the abandoned road, turning your breath to thick white clouds. It should make him anxious. Bucky hates the frost, despises the frozen blue that weaves maliciously through his worst nightmares.

But on this cold, moonlit night, with you warm by his side, he finds he doesn’t mind so much.

“What am I looking for?” he asks.

“Shooting star,” you say breathlessly. Tilting your head back, you go still, a beacon of patience awaiting a cosmic miracle. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

Bucky peers up at the sky, but as the minutes click by, he knows he’ll never find what he needs up there.

He turns to look at you instead. Watches you watch the sky, his chest burning with contentment at the sight of your profile in this moonlit night.

“Sure,” he says. “So beautiful.”

Gloved fingers find yours, and you turn your gaze from the infinity of space, to this man beside you, solid and real and here on Earth. There is nothing in the world but the two of you, nothing else matters as you move impossibly close.

“Such a sap,” you murmur, your mouth a mere breath from his. The tip of his nose is icy against your cheek, and you can feel him smiling as he returns the kiss with a shiver.

The world is funny. Because this - this is your love story.

Built on blue bubblegum and stolen Oreos, blood-stained bandages and purple flowers, shooting stars and an endless night sky, this love bursts with highs and lows and a million variations in-between. Wrapped up in the delicious comfort of your kiss, Bucky wonders what in the world he ever did to earn this.

This perfectly imperfect life. Here. With you.

There’s no real answer, of course. Love is like that sometimes.

So instead, he dusts off those three words from another life, ones he’s stored away for decades, and he hands them over, because they’re the one thing he can always see, no matter how dark his world becomes.

“I love you,” he whispers. “More than anything.”

The words are drenched in happiness, syllables shaped with a quiet joy that glows brighter and fiercer than every constellation hanging above. And in the space of a single second -

Your heart skips.

Your breath catches.

You swear you could fly.

Because this is it, this is the moment. This is the big one.

And that right there is when you return those three words, the ones Bucky Barnes has been missing his whole life and the ones you’ve held close, since the night you found that blue bubblegum tacked onto your shoe.

The words are perfect. You kiss him again.

“I love you too, Bucky.”

*****

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bitsmasterlist

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fairydust-stuff · 3 years

Text

Enemy Yut Lung & Eiji one shot: Warning this one is not romantic or soft plantonic friends.

“ I’ve decided i’m going to be Ash Lynx’s enemy,” Yut Lung casually states.

Eiji freezes the implications of this statement slowly seeping into his brain. What the hell was this guys problem? He said he was just like Ash if that was the case why did he want to make his life harder?

At first Eiji had viewed Ash as untouchable, a powerful shonen hero like the ones from his childhood heroically fighting against evil men who wanted to control him but after that night. Eiji had seen the look of devastation on Ash’s face as he put a bullet in Shorter Wong’s brain. Even covered in the blood of his enemies ,Ash had such a shattered look about him.

The nights that followed were full of raw howls and heaving sobs as Eiji soothed Ash Lynx back to sleep. By day his gang members cowered from his wraith since the slightest thing they did seemed to set him off.

He cann’t handle anymore he’s been brutalized for far too long and as much as Eiji wished he was like those magically girl characters who made everything all right. He couldn’t just reach inside and rewire Ash’s brain or fix his heart with gentle fingers. All the love in the world could not repair the damage Golzine had inflicted.

Yut Lung had the means to tear what was left of Ash’s heart straight from his chest and crush it under his heel. Which is why Eiji said what he did next.

“ If your Ash’s enemy then i’ll be yours!” Eiji proclaimed defiantly.

Yut Lung’s usual hateful mocking expression was replaced by pure shock. Then he laughs.

“ Very well if you're my enemy” Yut Lung motions to the gun in Eiji’s hand and raises a delicate eyebrow as if to say get on with it.

Eiji raises the gun and points it at the other boy with one bullet and he can get rid of one more problem for Ash, but something about the other boy’s eyes makes him hesitate. There’s an uncomfortable familiar vibe to them that unnerves him and makes Eiji unable to pull the trigger and end things. Also killing an unarmed person, even one as vile as Yut Lung still isn’t right. It goes against everything he’s been taught.

“ Disgraceful, how can you be my greatest enemy if you cann’t even pull the trigger?” Yut Lung looks at him as if he’s a disappointing liar who cheated him.

Eiji’s plan was too escape and run directly to save Ash. he was just about to get back to that plan. When the younger boy who had looked pissed when he saw Eiji in the elevator shows up and tackles Eiji to the ground.

“ You ok?” he asks Yut Lung softly

“ I’m fine!” Yut Lung brushing the boy's concern away. “ Just get him back to his room” he snapped with irritation…

Eiji threw himself upon Yut Lung Lee who moved swiftly out of the way, he fell and smacked his head on the door.

“ Is this your way of persuading me you’ll be a good enemy or a court jester?” Yut Lung said with some amusement.

“ How did you know?” Eiji asked rubbing his head

“ I’m not the person to fall for the same trick twice” Yut Lung said …

Eiji shoves his dinner into the face of Yut Lungs servant and hurls the plate at him, the other boy dodges.

“ I’ll have another plate brought up for you, if you toss this one you can go to bed hungry” The younger boy warns with a pleasant smile…

“ How the hell did he get a lighter!” Yut Lung exclaimed furiously using expensive cloth to douse the flames to save his precious plants as the guards restrained a smirking Eiji...

“ Fine you can be my enemy, I certainly hate you enough” Yut Lung spat.

“ Great now please free me so i can save Ash” Eiji said.

“ No, though you have managed to irritate me, your technique is sloppy and unrefined. If you're going to be my enemy, you're going to become worthy of that title” Yut Lung makes a motion to his mafia goons who drag and blindfold Eiji when they take it off he sees he’s in an underground room.

“ Lets start with your breathing” Yut Lung states.

“ breathing?” Eiji demands

“ Its loud i can hear you coming, we need to change that” Yut Lung says simply “ But i need to” the mafia heir cuts him off “ I’ll keep an eye on the Ash situation” …

“ What? you have a shooting range on your estate?” Eiji exclaims looking at the fancy targets one of Yut Lung’s guys hands the boy a gun.

“ You should see the interrogation room in the basement” Yut Lung says sardonically and lines up his weapon and takes aim bam bam bam! Three straight shots in a row.

“ I cann’t tell if your fucking with me” Eiji said with a scowl.

“ Here” Yut Lung hands him a gun. Eiji frowns, forgive me Ash but i’m doing this to save you. He takes a few shots.

“ Disappointing” Yut Lung states.

“ What are you talking about i got half of them” Eiji argues.

“ Half isn’t good enough in a shoot out with me and my men” Yut Lung shot back. “ Lets talk about your shooting stance”

“ Ash showed me this!” Eiji argues.

“ What works for one person doesn’t work for everyone” Yut Lung informed him. “ Lets try some different stances and see if we can find one, That works better for you”

Eiji placed his arms and legs where Yut lung told him “ This is weaver stance its a boxer type, it might work better. You have a wider frame, Ash is more slender in build.”

It was surreal Eiji thought being taught by the one person he couldn’t stand who actually had some good advice. He found the second time he actually hit more of his targets. Yut Lung made him practice until almost nightfall...

Eiji found his days of being a captive were now loaded with lessons every day he was led blindfolded to some obscure location of the house. Where Yut Lung would instruct him on one topic or another...

“ Again” Yut Lung commands as Eiji pulls yet another acupuncture needle from his body. He was just glad they were clean; he still had awful memories of suddenly blacking out from whatever horrible substance the mafia heir put in those things.

Though he could do without Yut Lungs constant criticisms which made him want to curl in a corner and cry and took him back to his school days of struggling to balance athletics and still maintain perfect scores on every test. Eiji told himself at least the mafia heir wasn’t focused on Ash. Besides it was the same pressures he grew up with and this time he was determined not to crack…

A month later and Eiji was sitting at the dining room table apparently after no instances for a couple of weeks and Yut Lung had loosened his restrictions. Though he was still being lead to and tied to the table with one hand.

The boy who recaptured him who Eiji learned was called Sing Soo Ling was loading up and gobbling down what appeared to be multiple dishes.

“ You can at least use a napkin. I'm sure the Wong’s didn’t raise you to be a pig” Yut Lung remarks.

Sing responds by opening his mouth and giving the other boy a view of his chewed food. Yut Lung makes a soft sound of disgust as he delicately dabbles at his mouth. He turns to Eiji “ You made some slight improvements” he remarks. Coming from Yut Lung, it's almost a complement.

“ Are you seriously training this guy to be your enemy?” Sing demands incredulously

“ Honestly he wasn’t even my first choice” Yut Lung responds.

“ You ritch types are weird” the fourteen year old said.

“ i don’t go around with something called dragon fang” Yut Lung retorted.

“ Maybe if you did, you’d get taken hostage less!” Sing responded.

“ He got the jump on me. How is that my fault?” Yut Lung exclaims

Eiji watches incredulously as the two of them get into a pointless argument going back and forth there’s no heat to it really, rather a sense of comfort. Its the kind of argument he might have with his younger sister. Its just odd seeing this casual behavior from Yut Lung Lee of all people.

“ So Eiji has this guy dangled you over a snake pit yet?” Sing asks cheerfully

“ Where did you hear something so ridiculous?” Yut Lung complains

“ Servant gossip” Sing replies.

“ They’ve gotten chattier since my brothers illness” Yut Lung scowls.

“ Come on Yue don’t be so uptight” Sing coaxes

“ What’s the point of having a staff if they don’t know how to stay quiet” the mafia heir points out.

“ Their not spilling any secrets, just making up odd stories ” Sing pointed out.

“ If i hear one word of actual Lee businesses pass anyone's lips…” Yut Lung was interrupted by the entrance of a servant girl who whispered something in his ear.

“ What!” Yut Lung hurled one of the dishes at the wall.

“ Getting hysterical again!” Sing teased him.

“ Shut up!” Yut lung got up “ No one can seem to find Ash”...

Eiji sits in his room Yut Lung is too off kilter to continue his training. Sing gives him updates saying that the mafia heir spends a lot of time sending his people out, waiting by the phone and has even headed out a few times himself. It worries him that Yut Lung hasn’t actually given up on Ash. So he does push ups and pull ups every day to keep in shape. Eiji practices the stealth techniques Yut Lung showed him. He steals a pen so he can practice writing the codes on the walls he was taught to decipher and study. He has Sing bring him firearms so he can practice taking them apart and putting them back together.

Then Yut Lung visits him a few days later“ We found Ash” Eiji watches all of the tension from the past few days vanish from him with those three words. This guy was actually concerned for Ash?

“ You really are devoted to becoming my enemy” Yut Lung comments tracing codes on the walls with astonishment.

“ Ash?” Eiji asked

“ He escaped from one of Dino Golzine’s secret government funded organizations ” Yut Lung looks bothered like this is something he hadn’t known about. “ He’s been experimenting on criminals with Banana Fish” …

Its one more day then he’ll finally see Ash and the others again. “ Now before our final lesson there’s someone i want you to meet” Yut Lung leads Eiji into a room down the hall and opens the door. He gasps there’s a grown man with eyes like Shorter’s drooling on himself! He groans at Yut Lung who touches his cheek lightly.

“ Eiji may i introduce Hua Lung my older brother”

“ You used that horrible drug on him!” Eiji backs up.

Its wrong, even worse is the way Yut Lung pulls his living human puppet into an affectionate embrace, his eyes gleaming with hate.

“ Hua Lung was my former enemy” the younger boy pauses. “ Tomorrow i’ll be giving you back to Ash”

Eiji stares stunned at how his arms are still wrapped so tenderly around the one who he had so thoroughly destroyed.

“ Don’t look so surprised” Yut Lung says, misunderstanding the reason for his reaction.

“ I only wanted to deliver Ash to Golzine to force him to be my enemy” Yut Lung looked Eiji in the eyes over the shoulder of his zombie brother. “ Now you are my worst enemy, who will someday destroy me”...

“ Eiji!” Ash embraces him tightly as if he never wants to let him go. Eiji manages to persuade Ash, Yut Lung was just giving him a safe place to stay. The blond would go ballistic if he knew the truth.

Their just about to go then Yut Lung pulls him into a hug Eiji’s body goes entirely stiff he feels the softness of the other boys hands on his skin his voice in his ear like a lovers caress “ Goodbye for now, Eiji”

then the hands are gone his body feels chilled as he remembers exactly who else was embraced with such vindictive tenderness.

“ Eiji .what’s wrong?” Ash asked

“ Yes Big Brother Eiji are you cold?” Yut Lung asks innocently.

Eiji suddenly feels the full weight of the obligation he’s agreed to pressing down on him. How is he supposed to look at those oddly familiar eyes and manage to close them forever? But if he doesn't, well Eiji doesn’t want to think about it.

#banana fish #yut lung lee #yue lung #yut lung #yau si #why does he have so many names?#creepy yut lung #eiji okumura #bird & the snake #enemies au #Eiji is very unsettled #Yut lung has a weird relationship with hate #Eiji should of been Yue's enemy #Ash had Arthur and Fox to fight!#Though they screwed up Fox and Ash as enemy foils too!#asheiji #yut lung & eiji #from my one shot collection

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