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alltheboysandmen · 1 year

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The bad kissers

Dear best friends,

You know how sometimes life just deals you crappy cards when you thought you had a winning hand?

Well hold on tight, because this is one of those times. In my, now, many years of singlehood I have kissed many a frog. Some frogs are cute and innocent to begin with, and then they rock your world. Other frogs seem slimy but turn out to be very sweet. And then, some frogs seem perfect. But when they try and kiss you, their mouth is like a tiny, clenched butthole that has never, ever seen the sun.

Sometimes you are not surprised that the uptight, white guy named Clive (no offense to all the Clives out there) kisses you like he only ever practiced kissing on his bathroom mirror and that one time with his cousin when he was nine. But other times it comes out of the blue. They can seem sweet and warm, until it comes to the point for our lips to touch and I realise I have made a grave error in judgement.

I will be merciful and not mention names in any of these posts, but in this case I can also say that this post is not about anyone specific. Although it was inspired by a recent encounter that was bad enough for me to rethink this whole dating thing alltogether. Just a hint to all you men out there thinking that the girl is loving your advances. Look at her body language. How is she standing? Is she pulling away? Is she reciprocating?

How many bad kissers is a girl supposed to be able to withstand before she loses her mind. And why are the bad kissers so bad at reading the signals I am putting out when you try to thrust your little lizzard tongue into my mouth that is clearly not open?

And to all the haters who will say “Maybe I’m the bad kisser?”. Please… I would invite you to try, but I am done kissing gross frogs, thanks!

#blog #blogging #dating #kissing #bad kisser

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sludgewarden · 5 months

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This body is temporary but I will live forever Picking fights in the back alley but I will live forever I know I can be quite rough but I will live forever Don't know how I will but I will live forever Two black eyes and a cursed mind but I will live forever Busted lip and fucked up fist but I will live forever I will live forever in your blood

#Bad Kisser #Foie Gras #lo-fi #acoustic #drone #Bandcamp #music

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jadelemacfanpage · 2 months

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Bad Kisser by Jade LeMac

(One, two, three)

You went in full tongue, uh-uh Weirdly aggressive in a Gross way, you say "Was that okay?" and I said "Totally, gotta leave My Uber's waiting for me" And then I smile and tell you bye, uh Not gonna see you for a while

Or maybe never 'Cause I'm traumatized forever

(Like, fuck) Why you such a bad, bad kisser? (Yuck) No one wants a straight face licker (Sucks) I know my standards are low But that's a definite no You're such a bad, bad kisser

(Ah) K-k-kisser (Ah) Such a bad kisser

I rinse my mouth To get your nasty taste out I'm sure you're nice But your breath got hella spice Honestly, kinda sweet The way you came up to me I swear I tried, but then I lied, uh I told you call me up sometime

Or maybe never 'Cause I'm traumatized forever

(Like, fuck) Why you such a bad, bad kisser? (No) (Yuck) No one wants a straight face licker (Ooh) (Sucks) I know my standards are low But that's a definite no You're such a bad, bad kisser

(Ah) Such a bad kisser (K-k-kisser) (Ah) Such a bad kisser (Ah) Kisser, when you're such a bad-bad kisser (K-k-kisser) (Ah) Such a bad kisser

#jade lemac #pop music #@jadelemac #bad kisser #song #music #lyrics #pop song #pop singer #spotify #Spotify

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mexcine · 7 months

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"I'm not upset -- I'm disgusted! You call that a kiss!" (First Romance Magazine 5, 1950). "You never say anything nice to me either!" Connie thinks solid, reliable, nerdy Horace is "an old woman" and yearns for true romance. But when they're involved in a railway accident, Connie learns Horace is "a real man of action" and can also deliver a real kiss when it counts.

#romance comics #Romance Comics Tuesday #she seems nice #bad kisser

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starryluminary · 5 months

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Boyfriend kisser!

They thought he was above this, well I beg to differ

He can act a beggar, but I won’t be the giver now!

Masterlist | Bonus (?)

Deakids watermark and original screenshots!!

#edit: genuinely rewrote boyfriend kisser this time. changed the lyrics in the desc. to the rewritten ver. you’ll see the rest later #this one was easy since it was free handed!! yay!!#since before I started drawing the wt kisses I dreamed of this one #I dreamed of Sierra in the hat and Noco on the chalkboard and now she’s here and real #also the song was edited in like 10 minutes. if it’s lame or bad it’s because I did not put all my efforts into it #total drama #total drama noah #td noah #total drama cody #td cody #cody anderson #noco #total drama noco #td noco #total drama sierra #td sierra #Starry makes art #the bonus is gonna be a while. the bitch is long

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againstme · 5 months

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hello my fellow autistics. i’m asking you a question and giving you two options only sorry but i’m curious if this is just a me experience or just not liking my ex lmao:

i personally thought i would be all about smooching and making out but like. lips are slimy. and i never know what i’m doing sowwwy. 🫣 also my ex used to bite my lips, very hard. what the fuck was up with that

#if you vote pls reblog i wanna seeeee #smooching you on the mouth? having another person’s tongue in my mouth?#hickeys though? great 1000000%. really love giving really love receiving.#this could also be due to just not being used to doing it. but who knows tbh.#iiiiiii don’t fucking know man. i feel like unless i REALLY like you idk if i’d like it #autism #neurodivergent #blah blah yeah u get it #is this embarrassing to post? maybe.#i swear i’m not a BAD kisser it just wasn’t what it was hyped up to be for me #idk.

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your-stranger-halfblood-things · 3 months

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Mike might not die in season 5, but he's definitely gonna go through hell, whether that be from Vecna or himself

#mike has depression and internalized homophobia #vecna also haunts his boyfriend #on top of all that mike is a bad kisser #stranger things #mike wheeler #byler #vecna/henry/001 #internalized homophobia

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sleeplessrobotic · 1 year

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I'm not beating the Computer Kisser allegations

Not my fault they were built specifically to be held and loved

#objectum #robotkin #computerkin #otherkin #machinekin #andriodkin #i love computers so bad they deserved to be kissed though #more people should kiss their computers #computer kisser #sleeplessrobotthoughts

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thingaddams4 · 1 year

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HELP TYLER LEANED IN TO KISS WEDNESDAY AGAIN WHEN SHE WENT TO CONFRONT HIM ABOUT BEING THE HYDE. POOR BOY WAS ALL SMILEY PROBABLY THINKING KISSING WOULD BE CASUAL BETWEEN THEM SINCE THEY’RE OFFICIALLY “MORE THAN FRIENDS” (and besides this was my evil task anyway right?)

Tyler to Laurel: mingle with the enemy? all right got it, you plan the evil scheme I’ll be with Wednesday

Tyler later in the woods with Wednesday: soo where were we...

The idiot was enjoying his assignment

#what if Tyler thought “did she think I was a bad kisser?” after Wednesday ran off and was ready to prove a point #no bcs when they pulled away on the kiss and Wednesday smiled he looked so surprised she initiated it #and probably just went alright yk what fuck it I like this then proceeded to capture her lips again and again #no but seriously how would kissing her help Laurel #wednesday #wyler #weyler

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the-poets-might-disagree · 4 months

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Lee and Maren in Bones and All (2022)

#i feel bad for the people who think he's a bad kisser #they never had a lover who kissed them like their whole existence depended on it and it shows #mine #timothée chalamet #taylor russell #bones and all #maren and lee

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mishapen-dear · 3 months

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Cant sleep so im thinking about ayhalo

I think its like. one sided. qaypierre WOULD smooch that demon and take him on dates. qbad would not recognize anything as a romantic gesture. aypierre could throw a bouquet of chocolate roses at him and bad would just be like ! thank you :}

like they love each other, absolutely. they TRUST each other, to the point where i’d even say it gets in the way of bad seeing aypierre as anything more than a good friend. that’s his guy. The dude always in his corner. Friend resource label: team mate (coparent) (down to help kidnap people). bad doesnt do classic romantic relationships- all of his relationships are INCREDIBLY queer, but the closest he usually gets to what others read as romance is a classic chewtoy4chewtoy dynamic. He LOVES to fuck with people and he loves to get fucked with and if there’s a nice jawline or pretty muscles included?? huge bonus !!

he’s got something- not kinder, with aypierre? not calmer, either, but stable, maybe. pierre has proven, over and over again, that he’s on bad’s side. Spying on tubbo, encouraging bad’s pranks, the kidnapping- i can’t call it a reliable dynamic, not with how paranoid bad is, even when he trusts, but there is still a feeling of understanding that, wherever pierre’s limits are for when he cant support bad (or genuinely turn against him), it hasnt been reached yet

aypierre, on the other hand, i dont know enough about to be absolutely sure but there are some Vibes. ironically, i think hes feeling like his relationships are unreliable. max was going to have their baby, and then he wasnt, and then he left him, then max fucking died. plus whatever is happening with him and ayrobot, which probably leaves him feeling like he cant rely on Himself. like he had, if not a little crush on bad, at least some Interest in him, before. as well as several islanders. i remember the days of the Bed Threat.

but thats part of it, too? because those flings didnt have that emotional connection, and i always got the sense that he started looking for that with maximus, to Love and Be Loved rather than pure lust. To care about someone, genuinely, and be cared about in return. but he didnt get that with the flings, and We know that max was using him, but i dont know if he did, but maybe he had a feeling about it and maybe he also had a feelinf about maximus’ feelings towards bad and maybe- there’s something about that? A little push of not-spite-not-projection onto bad.

because bad IS that reliability, right now. he’s a fucking gremlin. a bastard. a prankster silly guy. he trusts aypierre and aypierre trusts him and they dont share everything but so often, when it comes down to it, it is them against the world. them in the corner, caught, aypierre shouting about kissing as a cover for their crimes while bad runs giggling away from him.