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omennatural · 10 months

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Coffee theory & the hate it elicits

I recently saw someone discuss coffee theory and had literally come to the conclusion that it's a disservice to Aziraphale as a character, minimizing his complexity. Their words, a bit shortened, but still.

(If you don't know what coffee theory is, girl where have you been? Take a look here, you're in for a treat. Or Aziraphale was, maybe. )

I, wholeheartedly, disagree with this. We can debate coffee theory's validity as far as whether it happened or not, I certainly will get into that, but when has vulnerability cheapened the complexity of a character? I daresay it adds complexity? And I don't think you can separate the conversation of Aziraphale's complexity in relation to coffee theory without talking about what happened there. On the assumption now that his coffee was miracled, I don't think that was all it was. The Metatron manipulated Aziraphale, the link goes into the different ways in which they bridge the gap between rank, importance, status, to include not just Aziraphale, but Crowley, making Aziraphale more comfortable, more receptive, and the things they said to him.

And if coffee theory is wrong, I have two things to say, one being that Aziraphale was so heavily manipulated, The Metatron pulled his strings in such a way that was clearly very effective and that it worked to where we see him doing the very things he was literally willing to kill a child over in the first season (there's no sugar-coating that, he pulled the trigger on the thundergun and was intending to kill Adam Young to prevent armageddon), and if that's not vulnerability then I don't know what is. And secondly, what the fuck was the point of the coffee for? The show only has six episodes, Neil isn't just putting emphasis on "does anyone ask for death" and the specifics of a coffee, the insistence he drink the coffee, for fucking funsies. There's a reason.

The question is just, was it miracled, or was it a physical sweetener to bridge the gap between himself, an angel so important that what is said to him is said to God, and an angel labeled as a traitor.

I'm describing what happens to Aziraphale as vulnerability because I really think that's what it is. He's vulnerable because he's a victim of Heaven, of the morally gray acts carried out in God's name (Job, I'm lookin at you buddy), he lies to thwart the will of God because he knows what God commanded wasn't right, not in his moral compass. He's vulnerable to manipulation, most people are. I mean look at how Shax coaxed a semi-confirmation of Gabriel's whereabouts out of him in Edinburgh. A strong character, someone who is only strong, who cannot fail or fall short, is flat. One dimensional. But Aziraphale makes mistakes, sways one way and sways back the other way, he learns from (some) of his mistakes. He's so complex, an angel whose been fraternizing with a demon for a millennia because he's the only kindred spirit, because this demon isn't the black to the white, he's also gray, he's flawed and a little bit at heart a good person despite being cast from Heaven and deemed unforgivable in God's eyes. He's selfish, charitable, pissy but kind, he's withdrawn yet completely open, he's gluttonous, he covets, he judges and lies and he tempts humans when Crowley can't be bothered to do it himself. Aziraphale is the absolute most hypocritical character this show has simply because he's what we get most of, the most of his supposed virtues and his real sins. And I love him so dearly much. So yeah, being vulnerable to just base manipulation from The Metatron wouldn't be surprising, he gave Aziraphale a lot of big headlines in his new job title, made the gig sound too sweet to pass up, hoping he couldn't see the fine print. And he knew Crowley would, he knew no matter what that Crowley would refuse. He knew what would happen and he wanted to separate them, because if Aziraphale separates from Crowley, he's that much easier to sink the claws of Heaven into.

But, why not physically, too? On the basis of coffee theory being true, why can't Aziraphale being literally vulnerable to a miracle of Heaven? We see miracles being performed on angels a few times. For the love of God, Aziraphale and Crowley literally put up a no-Gabe blocker that clearly worked on every single occult and ethereal being it came across. Crowley getting up on the chair to touch the border seemed to signify it was a physical thing localized to the bookshop premises (outside included, for the Gabe giving himself up to Shax point), that Gabe needed to be in there. I wonder if he left, would it have still worked? Or if not localized to the bookshop, is the forcefield on him?That seems like a good inbox question for Neil. But the point is, the miracle, though a large one popping off at 25 Lazarii (forgive me if that's off, I'm referencing my brain and am not going back to check), but it worked on everyone. Is it because it was so powerful? As The Metatron, I would his miracles could be that powerful, to affect Aziraphale in a sort of drugged, made compliant and receptive manner to ideas/The Metatron's will. Which, that, is a whole other post.

But no, being vulnerable physically or emotionally isn't a disservice to a character, it adds to their complexity. Because yes, Aziraphale could make the bad decision to go to Heaven on his own, no miracle influence needed, realize how wrong it was and fix it, but he made the choice to drink the coffee anyway without any help. In a way without the miracle, he fucked up. He shouldn't have taken the coffee, he shouldn't have assumed it was harmless. Heaven has done enough up to this point, he said he'd made his position very clear, but immediately took a step toward a line of relatability by taking the damn coffee. That in itself was The Metatron manipulating Aziraphale, the beginnings of "oh, I've ingested things too, it's alright, it's not as bad as you think it is" and he fell for it. He began giving Aziraphale the thing he's wanted for thousands of years–that the way he is isn't bad, it's not worthy of falling, that he's right, not to belong on the side of Hell because Aziraphale still believes in goodness and love and everything Heaven is supposed to be, and what Aziraphale wants is to not be worth falling, while still making morally correct choices to help and bless humanity. He wants to be right for himself, but the only person he sees himself in is Crowley and that scares him, scared the hell out of him after Job, didn't it?

He doesn't have to make the mistake of Heaven on his own to be complex, he's hitting his low, all good characters have them–a point where they're making all the bad choices. And wouldn't it be something for his character arc to have to be strong to fight whatever that could be becausse he's not got Crowley by his side. He hit a low with Job, but what's lower than being so foolish as to accept Metatron's offer simply because Heaven, the archangels, The Metatron, they can't be trusted and Aziraphale thinks that The Metatron, the angel whose existence seems to be intertwined with God, would surely know God's will and him behind the wheel would be a big chance for change, and we all know Heaven dearly needs it. This is a new low, a low without friends surrounded by falsities and being manipulated. He's gotten himself into a bad situation, or he's been scooted along into it. Either way, he's gonna have to grow and dig his way out of it.

Do I believe in coffee theory? I like to think so yes, but also no.

I think the cup matters too much to be ignored, the sound, it being in the title sequence.

But I also think what if it was just a manipulation tactic.

But it almost seems as though Aziraphale almost says no before he leaves the bookshop, like he's taking his decision to go back.

But then I remember how Michael almost seemed to recognize Gabriel under the cloaking miracle and how everyone got a heavy dose of Jane Austen at the ball, but Nina seemed to wonder what the fuck was happening more than anyone else, like some powerful/strong wills can resist miracles more than other.

And I think of how easily he tried to leave the bookshop behind before Crowley kissed him and left and he had to face actually leaving, the same guy who was going to shoot a brick at a child and kill them so he could continue eating sushi and pretending he wasn't in love with a demon in a shop with painted walls the same color as those demon's eyes.

I may need more time on whether or not I believe in it or not, but I certainly don't agree with the opinion that it's a disservice to Aziraphale, to take away his choice.

Heaven doesn't give you choices.

Not when you're acting on the will of God.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffible husbands #aziraphale x crowley #gabriel good omens #go2

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came-for-memes-stayed-for-feels · 9 months

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Is Aziraphale not worried that Crowley goes too fast, but that he himself might go too far?

Is Aziraphale unable to trust himself to not cross the dangerous line (even if just verbally, not physically) of making the love they both know they have for each other tangible? An action that would put them at even greater risk than what they so narrowly avoided in 1941, and destroy all plausible deniability?

Aziraphale is very nervous during this scene, in part because he doesn't usually make such morally grey choices. The choice to gift the holy water both conflicts with the rules of Heaven and what Aziraphale thinks is best for Crowley, so he already feels like he's in dark grey territory at this point.

Aziraphale's short, denying responses to Crowley's open appreciation may be his way of saying "Please don't tempt me, for I do not trust my ability to deny it". It would explain why Aziraphale looks like he would both rather be no where else and anywhere else at the same time.

C:"Should I say thank you?" (Can I show you appreciation for your kindness?) A:"Better not." (I do not trust myself to not act on your open gratitude) C:"Well...can I drop you anywhere?" (Can I show you kindness in return by doing something for you?) A:"No, thank you." (No, the more time we spend together in this state puts my self control, and your safety, at risk) C: Looks disappointed. (But I want to show you my appreciation, why are you denying me?) A: "Oh, don't look so disappointed." (I cannot handle the affection your open display of sadness at not returning a kindness shows.) A:"Perhaps one day we could...I don't know." (Some day, not now, some day when my resolve is stronger) A:"Go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz." (Do something that has both romance and plausible deniability) C:"I'll give you a lift, anywhere you want to go." (No, I don't know why you're denying me, I don't want to push this off, I want to show you appreciation now.) A: "...You go too fast for me, Crowley." (I do not trust myself to not pour my feelings of love on you, so to stop you from insisting, I'm going to say it's your fault.) A: Leaves car (My resolve is too weak, I must leave your physical presence to ensure your safety)

Is Aziraphale thrown off by Crowley being so kind and showing genuine gratitude, instead of hiding behind snark and wit? Does this draw to mind how Aziraphale himself felt in 1941?

Recall from the 1941 mini-sode Aziraphale's line:

Maybe Aziraphale remembers the gratitude and affection he felt towards Crowley after his body and beloved books were saved. Given Crowley's uncharacteristically gentle response to the holy water gift, perhaps Aziraphale imagines Crowley is feeling the same way he did in 1941.

Maybe Aziraphale flees Crowley's car because he doesn't trust himself to not act on the clear feelings of reciprocated affections. If merely fraternizing with the enemy almost got Crowley dragged to Hell and tortured, what danger would love put them in?

Aziraphale may see himself as just as dangerous to Crowley as the holy water that would destroy him.

As a side note:

On top of his already conflicted internal state, maybe Aziraphale doesn't know what to make of Crowley doing business in such a scandalous area. Considering how Crowley seems willing to explore (and share with Aziraphale) human pleasures, maybe Aziraphale is unnerved at the thought of Crowley being interested in such a thing. Especially considering how easily Crowley drew him into trying the human pleasures of food and drink. Perhaps this scenery highlighted how morally grey yet deeply tempted he already feels.

#why do the soft parts always also have to hurt #what they say vs what they mean #aziraphale #crowley #good omens

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crazyguy200 · 10 months

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Hi Guys. i never post here usually but today i will! because elon musk irreparably fucked up twitter & i want to make a long analysis post so Ummmm. hope you like Good Omens. and mitski.

Ineffable Husbands & Be The Cowboy

-> Why I think BTC is THE Ineffable Husbands album. My certifications are errrm. Long-Time Mitski listener and major Good Omens fan. Buckle down for this one >_<.

!!S2 SPOILERS AHEAD!!

1. Starting off strong, the album begins with Geyser. To me, this song represents how Crowley sees Aziraphale, and their relationship. Let's take a look at the lyrics.

I interpret the first stanzas (is that the right word in songwriting?) As being representative of Crowley's devotion to Aziraphale. Throughout Good Omens we watch him turn down offers from Hell so that he can prioritize Aziraphale & His safety.

The final two stanzas are what really Solidify my relation of Geyser to Crowley & his relationship with Aziraphale for me.

"Though I'm a geyser, feel it bubbling from below, hear it call, hear it call, hear it call to me, Constantly."

Crowley is a Demon. The Geyser (in this interpretation) is Hell. Crowley serves Hell, he does the work that he is told to do On Earth, without complaint (mostly). However, he only "Hears the harmony" (gets in direct/threatening contact with Hell) when something big is happening, and usually that "Harmony" (Hell's orders/plots) harm him and/or Aziraphale. and it's not real enough. The demons describe Crowley as having "gone native", due to having been on Earth so long. The Earth is what's real to him, but more accurately Aziraphale is what is real to him. They cannot be without one another, and when one individual has been the only Present figure in your life consistently for the last 6,000 Odd Years that partnership would feel So real & valuable, to the extent that I firmly believe they would be willing to change for each other if they communicated it. (I will be the one you need, I just can't be without you.)

*Interesting comment, the entirety of the second half of the song can also be applicable to Aziraphale & his relationship with Crowley/how it clashes with his devotion to Heaven. They parallel each other so much it makes me a bit sick.

2. The second song on the album I'm looking at is Old Friend. I'm not applying every song on the album to Aziracrow, because Ummm. I don't wanna. (Although, if you wanna go back and listen to "Why Didn't You Stop Me?" I think it's definitely applicable to the end of s2.) Anyhow, I interpreted Old Friend as representative of how Aziraphale views Crowley.

The first stanza is filled with regret, and I think it's kind of how s2 Aziraphale might look back onto their relationship in s1. "We nearly drowned for such a silly thing" is like their Bandstand fight & how it near ruined their relationship due to. Horrific miscommunication (yay!). The someone who loves Aziraphale better now is Crowley, and "You" in the following line is Heaven. This is when it switches up, though, because I see the rest of the song being addressed to Crowley. Obviously so much of their relationship and dynamic prior to s2 was them meeting in Unlikely places, often over a meal/food. Hence the meeting at the diner. Now, admittedly Aziraphale would Never just take coffee, but let's ignore that because he Would absolutely talk about nothing and take anything Crowley wanted to give him.

The third stanza is where it gets interesting. Aziraphale views his Relationship with Crowley with a lot of anxiety. In season one he describes it as "fraternizing with the enemy", and he's Distinctly afraid of what Heaven might do in reaction to his friendship with Crowley being discovered. But he's also notably fearful of what Hell might do to Crowley, since she has nowhere to go lower than Hell. Aziraphale is anxious by nature, and so is Crowley, so I think their mutual agreement to keep their Association on the down-low during s1 versus their openness about being Together-but-not-together-together in s2 is a Lovely character progression. The last stanza is repetition, but I think that if we're viewing it in Gomens chronological order it'd be post-s1 time, and how Aziraphale and Crowley are perfectly comfortable in s2 giving to one another and meeting to do whatever they like.

3. Of course I was gonna mention Me and My Husband. Who do you take me for. I did skip a few songs between Old Friend & Me and My Husband. So Sorry! listen to the whole album, i think even if it's not enough for me to add to this post about, i could probably find Some silliness happening in all of tjem. Anyways, i see Me and My Husband as the way that Both Aziraphale and Crowley view the other.

I think the most important lines for The Purpose of this post are "It's always been just him and me / Together / So I bet all I have on that / Furrowed brow". Because they just have so Much sickening faith in each other. despite both of their anxious natures, they trust each other Wholly (Aziraphale having Crowley assist in the bullet between the teeth magic act while their miracles were blocked, Crowley letting Aziraphale (who hasn't driven in 90 years) drive alone in his most prized possession/technical home.) This trust comes from the fact that it Has just been the two of them together. the first stanza reflects on mortality, but i see it in this context as being about their time on Earth. Together, Crowley & Aziraphale steal a few breaths from the world for a minute (from its creation until its eventual destruction) and then they will be nothing forever again, in Heaven and Hell respectively, without the other, which to them is Nothing & hasn't been. they created a sanction for themselves for a reason!

4. Pink in the Night. Words can't possibly describe the love i have for this song. it makes me feel ILL. and it is Most Definitely how Crowley sees Aziraphale in s2, and then post s2, i think.

Crowley hears her heart breaking in advance, i think. As unfortunate and horrible as it is, Nina was right when she said that everyone's love lives look much simpler when viewed from an outside perspective. Aziraphale is Deft, he is Smart, but emotionally constipated. his constant inward moral debate prevents him from reacting well when given a love confession, even from His Life Partner. I think every drop of rain singing I Love You is the kiss, and how it is effectively a plead, and a beg for Aziraphale to just stay. Crowley knew he had to put every ounce of passion into the kiss, because he thought it would change Aziraphale's mind. as we (unfortunately) know, there's simply too much miscommunication for that to have worked, and i believe that crowley was at least partially aware of that. it always needed to be a discussion, because their priorities were both each other, but the sacrifices that needed to be made got confused. (Aziraphale thinking Crowley's hatred for Heaven outweighed his love to Aziraphale, Crowley thinking Aziraphale's devotion to Heaven outweighed his love for Crowley.) and so it went the way it did.

I always thought an interesting thing about Aziracrow's relationship is how Crowley is commonly narratively framed as being the "fast one", which is contradictory to another thing he is often framed as, that bejng the Follower. she is so often seen following behind Aziraphale, going where he goes, and Giving (Not that Aziraphale doesn't do these things for Crowley too.) Crowley could Truly stare at Aziraphale's back all day. she holds him at arm's length while simultaneously reaching out and Clawing for what he can get, because i really think she feared his rejection more than anything. and i think that Crowley would give anything to try again, because despite being So Angry, losing their 6000 year partnership is a blow that she Will not quickly recover from, especially if he feels like it's his fault.

5. Two Slow Dancers, naturally. I think that this one is probably the most Aziracrow of the bunch. it makes me So so sad. Also the last one I'm looking at because it is 4 AM and i've ran out of grapes to Chow down on. This song is just Them. It's them. trust me. it's unapologetically, tragically Aziraphale and Crowley.

They have both done it all a hundred times before, Fought, laughed, spoken!! and they always remember, down to The Date, they remember every time and location of where they interact because That is their timeline, i imagine. and they forget Details about everything else, but never each other. Argh.

I think this stanza is how Aziraphale sees it. If they were both Young again (as in, both angels again) there would be no concern with Sides or celestial politics. but that isn't what Crowley wants, and that isn't how it will be. Aziraphale is idealistic to a fault, and so they will continue their slow dance around one another. or at least they were meant to, if it hadn't been for the intervention of the Metatron.

The ground is, of course, Heaven and Hell respectively. They got their few years of peace, and then of course God wants Aziraphale back for her Puppet, and so while it'd still be easier if they were young again, Crowley knows how unrealistic an idea that is.

Crowley thought that they could stay the same, and continue their Dance. because they were there at the creation of the Earth, the beginning, and they would have been there at the end, the last ones out. Aziraphale, on the other hand, wanted things to be different. His devotion is changing Heaven for Crowley, and for Better. but they cannot be both at once, and yet again their conditions for communication were as piss-poor as always. and so despite the love Being so obviously and painfully there the both of them were left with believing it wasn't Quite enough for the other. i hate Them (pos).

anyways. That's it! sorry i couldnt look at every song on the album, it really is Art, go give it a listen!! thanks for reading any/all of that. i'll be surprised if i go back and reread this & see anything remotely coherent. btw if you're not a big Mitski fan and u want some recommendations, some Ineffable Husbands coded songs of her's from other albums include Once More To See You, I Guess, I Want You (Can't possibly emphasize that one enough, it's how Crowley sees Aziraphale.), and Bug Like an Angel are all FIRE.!!!!!

#good omens #mitski #analysis #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #azicrow #argghhh they make me #evil!!! evil!!#go2 spoilers #Spotify #go2 #good omens s2 #ineffable idiots

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thenightling · 3 years

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There is an old German skit about a gameshow candidate winning a big prize and the game show host cons him out of it because the last question was about Adam and Eve and he gets the contestant to admit that due to Adam and Eve the whole world is related to one another and thus the candidate cannot win because he is technically related to the host (whose relations are excempt from winning). I think about that skit a lot when it comes to Angel incest lmao.

Hehe. I wonder if that argument would work with a lot of the Tumblr pearl clutchers who are anti Crowley and Aziraphale (because they’re “brothers”), anti Lucifer and Amenadiel, Anti Lucifer and Morpheus (because they’re “cousins”), and anti Daniel (Dream) and Ivy because Dream’s sibling is Ivy’s great grandfather.

Granted, it doesn’t help that when Caitlin R. Kiernan was writing The Dreaming in 1996 to 2002 she went out of her way to almost obsessively point out that Adam and Eve were technically brother and sister, that Cain and Abel were spawned of Incest, and she even went so far as to give DC’s Cain and Abel sister-wives who were their own fraternal twins essentially swapped with each other as spouses. I know they were married in Biblical lore but the versions of Cain and Abel in Sandman always came off as asexual to me.

God, I hated those wives... And Caitlin’s weird fixation on their blood-relation. She also made Cain extremely sexist and obsessed with his own twin (whom he would have preferred as a wife). I think Caitlin had a thing against Cain. She destroyed The House of Mystery twice and even went out of her way to bash the classic horror anthology comics in canon, using characters as her mouth piece.

She also committed a major sacrilege against Sandman and its themes by implying “there are only so many stories you can tell.” When the ancient world said there were only seven stories they really meant only seven archetypes in fiction writing, sort of what we call genres today. Actual stories are infinite. And The Sandman and its spin-offs should never be used to discourage creativity or to give up because “There are only so many stories.”

I really hated Caitlin’s version of The Dreaming. I only just barely like Simon Spurrier’s version more than hers because he didn’t kill Matthew The Raven. But he still had Daniel commit multiple murders “because of cat calling.”

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aziraphales-library · 5 years

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Hey!!! I’m kinda new, and I’d like to know if you can recommend me some good GO fics? My only request it’s that they should mostly be Teen Up or Gen s fics... and maybe some good AUs (I’m in love with those)

Okay, here we go!! I went a little all out on this post because it’s more about personal preference, but I still stand by it :D

An Angel who did not so much Fall In Love as Settle Into It Gradually by TheLadyZephyr - 7.5k - Rated T

Crowley was standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets, looking a little lost. Aziraphale eyed the distance between them. Five steps. Five steps, and six thousand years, and a battlefield spanning an eternity.

The story of the little moments over the millennia that shape an angel’s regard for a demon, and the way he slowly, with great reluctance but inevitable surety, falls in love.

I simply adore this fic. It’s one of those fics that follows them through the ages and its just done so well. I don’t even know what else to say, just that you should go read it, and the fanart is also gorgeous!

Something So Magic by apliddell - 3.9k - Rated G

Crowley gets stuck in his serpent form, and Aziraphale tries his best to help.

This fic is simple, yet adorable, and I cannot get enough of it.

How Much To Give, How Much To Take by thechemicalgirl - 3k - Rated G

“It’s like…’ he paused, trying to calm down. ‘It’s like after I came back from Heaven and we switched our bodies back, something has happened. I can’t use my power anymore, not even to start the Bentley.”

Crowley loses his demonic abilities and Aziraphale tries to help him cope with it, but things get much more complicated than that.

Angsty, but also soft, and just a great execution of a favourite premise.

In Peace I Will Both Lie Down and Sleep by fizzybiscuits - 5.6k - Rated G

Aziraphale starts having nightmares. For some reason, he doesn’t talk to Crowley about this right away.

Title is from Psalms 4:8. “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

This fic just has everything. It’s a stellar example of an established relationship fic and is cavity-inducingly fluffy.

Be All My Sins Remembered by CloversDreams - 43.4k - Rated T

“The trial,” Beelzebub continued loudly, “will consist of seven tests.”

“Seven…” Aziraphale muttered under his breath. He had a bad feeling about this and it showed. He twiddled his thumbs nervously as he waited for more details.

Crowley scrunched his face and shook his head. “Oh you don’t mean–”

“Correct. The Sins have been charged with the task,” Beelzebub interjected.

“Crap.” Crowley groaned. He slapped his hands onto his face and dragged them downward slowly. This was just what they didn’t need.

Gabriel nodded. He had a rather unpleasant grin on his face as he said, “Don’t know much about them, myself, but they can be a pretty gnarly group of high-class demons from what I’ve heard. On par with the archangels back home. Wouldn’t want to… what’s that delightful human phrase? Oh, right. Wouldn’t want to cock this up.”

Listen, in my opinion, this fic is massively underrated. I unintentionally binged it all in one go because it was so gripping. The angst in some chapters had me practically screaming, and the whole idea is a brilliant take on the seven deadly sins. The pining is magnificent, and I live for the Husbands drama.

Let Sleeping Snakes Lie by Blue_Sparkle - 2.6k - Rated G

Aziraphale confesses his love for Crowley when he can contain it no longer. Oh, not to the demon himself of course. To a sleeping snake.

Another fic featuring Snake!Crowley, this one is magnificently soft, and I adore the scene in Stardust it’s inspired by. Just can’t stop coming back to read, 10/10 recommend!

Serpent of Eden, Original Tempter by noodlefrog - 33.4k - Rated T

During Crowley’s trial, the agents of Hell present evidence that the demon has been fraternizing with the enemy. Careful to protect Crowley’s pride (and his own concealed feelings), Aziraphale turns on the saunter and leans into his friend’s reputation as a tempter to spin their relationship into something that looks more demonic than lunch dates and feeding the ducks.

This fic combines Pining, Misunderstandings, and a fantastic ‘what if?’ for the execution scenes, and I am here for it. The Original Characters are written fantastically well, and I loved the bonus chapter!

What They Say About Assumptions by DragonGirl - 7.9k - Rated T

While it’s true that God bestowed upon the angels the divine power to sense love of all kinds, that does not mean they were given the ability to sense exactly who or what that love is directed at. A minor design flaw that hasn’t been much of an issue. Until now.

Or:

Aziraphale has known that Crowley loved someone since the beginning. He’s also spent most of that time believing that someone was a demon.

Aziraphale’s obliviousness in this fic was so ridiculous it felt plausible. It was hilarious but also heartwarming, and has one of my fave love confessions. It was angsty as hell in the best way, and I just implore that you read it!

Futile Devices by ticketybye - 3.2k - Rated G

Crowley pretends to sleep. Aziraphale talks.

Just adorable. Cavity inducing fluff and love confessions are my favourite things and god does this deliver on that.

Foolish Principality by seashadows and WikdSushi - 6.6k - Rated M

Upon moving into a South Downs cottage, Crowley gets left alone while Aziraphale rushes to help the new proprietors of his bookshop. Thanks to a miracle gone wrong, Crowley discovers Aziraphale's greatest material secret, and a few things neither of them could ever fully face.

Is rated M but in my opinion there’s nothing too bad in here, though you should judge for yourself. The poetry is beautiful, horrifying masterpieces, and it is honestly fantastically funny and sweet.

——

Y’all know by now that I adore anything by Arinia, but this fic is one of my faves:

Just This Once by Arinia - 2.7k - Rated T

An idea came, slowly at first, before filling up his heart, setting every nerve alight. It might be another decade, another century even, before he saw Crowley again. No one had come to rescue him from Above. No one had chastised Crowley for wasting a miracle from Below. Perhaps, just this once…

The streets of Paris are soaked with blood, and Aziraphale realizes just how much he owes Crowley for saving his life.

It’s freaking adorable, the kissing is fantastic, and I have a secret love of the French Revolution that made me love the fic all the more. Read it, I beg you.

——

As for AUs, I don’t read loads, but I do have some faves!

Neighborly Affection by Thestarlitrose - 4.6k - Rated T - Human AU

Anthony J Crowley was four years old the first time he met the tiny Ezra A Fell; he wasn’t impressed.

He was forty-six when he found him again in a bookshop in Soho.

The Childhood Friends, Flower Shop, Christmas, Friends to Lovers fic nobody asked for in the middle of October.

This fic is a complete tangle of tropes, and it’s also incredibly sweet. Perfect for the fast approaching holiday season!

a book elegantly bound by AwkwardPotatoChild - 6.5k - Rated G - Library AU

Two idiots. One book series.

or alternatively, Aziraphale and Crowley are united over their common love of books and the scheming of one Miss Anathema Device

This fic manages to be both very funny and incredibly endearing at the same time. The book names were hilarious, and I adored Anathema’s matchmaking.

A Jaunt Or Two by sonicsora - 3.1k - Rated T - Human AU

They meet by happenstance twice over, only to end up quite woven into one anothers lives. It’s all quite accidental, but sticks.

Crowley realizes a bit belated he’s quite attached to this man who freely uses the word jaunt and wears cream-colored suits.

This fic is just adorable. It’s sweet, fluffy, and exactly my kind of thing. Also Gabriel’s a dick in the comedic way, which is fun to see.

Restoration by arealshitwizard (gaiusgallus) - 2.6k - Rated G - Human AU

Ok I had this idea in my head and it wouldn’t go away so here is Aziraphale as a painting restorer and Crowley as a flash stock broker… There’s just one chapter sorry for my sins

This is a really unique fic (I know I keep saying that, but it’s true!), and featured such fun interpretations of their characters!

——-

I’m aware that 90% of this list is very specific to my preferences, and that it got a little out of hand, but I hope y’all enjoy the recs anyway! XD

Does the blog have any favourites they’d like to share?

~ Mod B

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wanna-b-poet31 · 5 years

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Crowley’s Truth and Aziraphale’s Lies (A 3-part series) Part 1: Crowley’s Heartbreaking Honesty

So I could do a whole series about why Crowley (in all his piety) is fallen and Aziraphale (in all his temptations) is not. However, I wanted to focus this series strictly on the use of honesty and lies throughout Good Omens. I argue that honesty (and the irony of an honest Demon and a lying Angel) is a tool for establishing their place in-between Heaven and Hell. They serve as hybrids, a liminal space between holy and hellish, allowing for their supposed “flaws” to shine, and enable them to form their own side.

Crowley’s Motivation:

One of Crowley’s defining traits is his imagination. Unlike any other celestial entity, he can create ideas, questions, and fabrications at a moment’s notice. Crowley’s no Saint, he lies to Hastur easily (about calling the demonic counsel), he impersonates Aziraphale stunningly, and (if Aziraphale recalls correctly) he takes credit for all of the horrendous things humanity has done throughout the years (even earning himself some commendations along the way). So he CAN lie, quite well actually, so long as he has the proper motivation.

And, without fail what IS his motivation? Who (or what) inspires him and allows him to focus his thoughts even when he’s panicking (and possibly trying his best to cope with his piles of trauma)? Certainly not humanity alone, and certainly not because he has any sense of self-preservation. The man ran into a burning building head first without a second thought; he drove his beloved car through literal hellfire; he walked across consecrated ground despite being burned simply because he told himself he could. No, he there’s only 1 thing that motivates him.

Aziraphale (of course)

Crowley: Would I Lie To You?

Crowley lies at least 5 notable times throughout the series.

His reports about the ill-deeds he’s responsible for are riddled with lies and half-truths (which is a general fuck you Hell kind of lie)

He fails to tell the higher-ups in Hell about his knowledge about the Anti-Christ, the location of the Anti-Christ and neglected to correct Hell about it (a Fuck you Satan kind of lie)

He hides and ignores the agreement he’s made with Aziraphale from Hell (A Fuck you Heaven and Hell kind of lie)

He deceives Hastur, several times but most notably after Ligur’s death (a fuck you Hastur kind of lie, and he’s murderous so he deserves it sorta)

He Impersonates Aziraphale (An F to the U to Heaven kind of lie)

The notable exemption from this list is Aziraphale.

Unlike the demons who he deceives at any given moment (particularly in defense of Aziraphale), he refuses to lie to Aziraphale.

Are you Satan and have just “blessed” Crowley with the staring role in the Apocalypse? Yeah, great (lies through his teeth about wanting to partake).

Are you a Duke of Hell inquiring about where the Anti-Christ is and trying to confront Crowley about his relationship with Aziraphale? “So Longggg Suckaaas” I’m gonna lie lie lie and possibly kill you for coming towards me.

Are you heaven trying to torture my best friend >lover< with hellfire that will surely kill him? Not today motherfucker, because guess what? Now I’m him and I’ll lie my ass off to protect him.

Are you an Angel who shows free will and loves humanity as much as he does? 404 Error lies not found.

This is not to say he’s always straightforward with Aziraphale. because God, Satan, Someone knows he’s got a flair for the dramatic. But not even does he lie through omission. Whenever Aziraphale asks a question, no matter how light-hearted or series Crowley’s being, he will always give an honest answer, even if it sometimes goes over the angel’s head. >see: Crowley being a blubbering mess because his best friend died and Aziraphale not quite understanding that the best friend is him<

He’s also oddly cryptic when he’s asking for holy water, but never once does Crowley lie. Sure, he’s trying to speak in code “because the trees have ears”, but when he says it’s for insurance, not a suicide pill, it is for insurance.

He can tell that his relationship with Aziraphale has morphed in such a way that it would put him and Aziraphale in danger if Hell ever found out about it. Aziraphale, simply, does not believe him that his only motivation is protection because it is too close to his own fears about Crowley being destroyed.

Which is why I think he’s so upset about the word “fraternize”. First, there is a class element involved with the Victorian use of the word (usually referring to someone of a higher class interacting friendly to a lower class member). Where Aziraphale may have meant comradery (and brotherhood, which also not how Crowley views their relationship) Crowley certainly acts as if he took it to mean Aziraphale was speaking to him like an enemy or an “inferior” species.

This is only further supported by Aziraphale’s accusatory “we may have both started out as Angels, but YOU are fallen”, placing (in my opinion) too much emphasis on Crowley’s fall (a huge trauma trigger for him). But this whole characterization of their relationship is a lie Aziraphale tells himself to repress his fears about Heaven’s traumatic treatment of him. By this point in their partnership (as we’ve seen) both he and Crowley go out of their ways to treat each other as equals. To deny it, to repress their feeling is a slap. in. the. face.

Further, the audience for lying clearly matters to Crowley. In the relative privacy of the park, Aziraphale says “fraternize”, which doesn’t do enough justice for the kind of intimacy the uniquely share. It implies they could be enemies or strangers (which they aren’t, they’re at least friends). Crowley is so intimately aware that even now, in the 1800′s, it’s them (and humanity) against divinity. And, Crowley refuses to lie to Aziraphale, especially about the sort of relationship they share. Sure he won’t tell the other demons, and sure as hell won’t tell the angels how deep their relationship goes, but in this private moment, where he’s approaching as a partner (not an adversary)? It would be the worst kind of lie. It would ignore or erase the new space they’ve created for themselves where they can be equals.

In the above gif, we see Crowley angry and lash out. He says harsh words and insists that he doesn’t need Aziraphale. Since we’re counting, I don’t think this is a lie. Now no, he clearly does need Aziraphale in his life, but he’s just been smacked in the face with the insinuation that they are not equals, they are not friends, they are enemies, and I believe him at this moment, a very hurt Crowley, decides if that’s how Aziraphale is going to treat him, then he will treat him like all his other enemies. At the moment he says I think it he means it because Crowley cannot make time for someone who won’t take his concerns seriously and thinks so little of their relationship. If he can’t be seen as an equal, he’d prefer not to be seen at all.

Although, this is a temporary truth, and one Crowley is willing to correct Aziraphale about in a way he never does for his hellish counterparts. Crowley cares too deeply to wish Aziraphale any real harm, even if Aziraphale can’t call a spade a spade. Crowley sure as Hell would move heaven and earth to demonstrate the extent of his love. He shows as much in his rescue in 1941, and again when Aziraphale once again lies and says “we’re not friends...I don’t even like you” in the bandstand. These lies actively hurt Crowley but not once does he retaliate with. Instead, he meets Aziraphale with blunt honesty. Saying “yes you do” doing everything he can to get Aziraphale on the same page, and share their truth.

Look at the above gif. Not only does Crowley KNOW Aziraphale is lying, but Aziraphale knows it too. While he clearly loves Crowley and has loved Crowley for some time, his inability to work through his anxieties and rely on Crowley as a support system, as a partner, he can’t come to terms with his own trauma.

So, he lies.

He lies and he hurts Crowley. He lies and he dismisses Crowley’s honesty. He lies and he harms himself because they both know this is a facade he can’t keep up much longer. He lies, and Crowley still meets him with honesty and forgiveness.

And honestly, it breaks his heart to be lied to, but he knows the alternative solution would be no best friend at all. Under normal circumstances, Crowley could be patient. He could wait for Aziraphale to come to terms with their relationship almost for forever. But, shit hits the fan, and he needs to show Aziraphale that two of them need to stop dancing, stop being cryptic, and cut through the bullshit for once.

Which brings me to the first Gif of this section. Take a moment, scroll the ridiculous amount up, and just look at the indignation on his face. in the earlier gif “Would I lie to you?”, he clearly consciously makes a point to never lie to Aziraphale, despite it supposedly being “the demon’s way”. Not in anger (like at the bandstand) not even if it’s uncomfortable (like when he’s criticizing Aziraphale for being so clever and so stupid), not even if the angel is (knowingly or unknowingly) hurting him with his lies.

Crowley draws the line at tainting his relationship with the kind of lies Heaven tells, and the kind of disregard Hell tells. Because despite the lies he’s told by Aziraphale, Crowley knows who he can trust, who he needs on his side, who he wants to spend the end of the world with, and it sure as hell isn’t Hastur or Beelzebub.

Because at the end of the day, Crowley knows what the two of them share together. One great way to see this comparison is to checkout @theladyzephyr ‘s meta on Crowley and his glasses. Because while he does let his guard down for Aziraphale (even if only drunk), his autonomy, his consent to wear/not wear his glasses is taken from in by Hastur in the above gif’s scene. Aziraphale, for all his lies, does not cross the same boundaries as Hell does, and genuinely cares for Crowley. He shows remorse for his actions and is clearly just as hurt by his own lies as Crowley is.

A Very Crowley’s Conclusion

But what does this mean in terms of his Honesty? Well, for starters, demonstrates that while he has the power to lie, and could lie to Aziraphale (functionally I mean) he chooses not to.

He might, every now and then poke him and partake in some friendly banter, but never is it mean spirited, not even when they’re both at their breaking points. His ability to lie but restraint from lying; his ability to deceive, but his choice to trust, sets him apart from the rest of the demonic mold.

Quite honestly, He probably could tempt (like really tempt) Aziraphale to his side. He could manipulate and push the Angel into situations they both know he would be uncomfortable with. But, he doesn’t. He doesn’t become the abusive force Heaven and Hell have pushed on the two of them because that’s not how he wants or needs to cope with his loss. No, he needs an equal, not a lackey. He needs an equal, not a boss. He needs love, not control.

It becomes clear that his loyalties have never (at least not in the series) been with Hell. Crowley doesn’t trust or care about his fellow demons. He kills one (permanently) and another (not so permanently) without hesitation. He defies (actively and with little regard for the safety of other celestial creatures) the desires of Hell, working with his bestie to ensure the world breaks even.

Consequently, he’s creating a “third” option with Aziraphale. It is distinctly not a human space (neither of them is human). It’s is not heavenly or hellish, but space for them to be who they are, fight for what they love and feel safe knowing they are a team (romantic or otherwise). And it’s clear based on who he lies to and how he lies, that he’s not cut out for the Demon frenzy or the demon.

Their third space is what Crowley’s been working for since day one because Aziraphale is worth lying to others to protect and worth telling the truth to love.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

#ineffable husbands #good omens #go #crowley #anthony janthony crowley #crowley loves aziraphale #IT'S ALL FINE #sorrynotsorry #good omens meta #meta #long post #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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earsofducks · 4 years

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Day 6 - Titanic

Whoops, I wrote this in like 20 minutes before my last class. I love having no time management skills.

Warnings: Titanic stuff. Lack of knowledge about Titanic stuff on the part of the author. Coercion (Gabriel @ Aziraphale, because Gabriel is trash and does not deserve to be an angel). Major character discorporation. ANGST.

@ineffablehusbandsweek

Aziraphale’s heart has sunk so low that she’s pretty sure it’s tangled in her stomach.

Her mood is a sharp contrast to everyone else boarding the ship, all of whom are deliriously happy. Excitement is tangible in the air.

After all, who wouldn’t be excited to be boarding the great ocean liner Titanic? It’s big and bright and beautiful and, as they've all been informed, unsinkable.

Aziraphale, who is miserably handing over her ticket and is also, incidentally, an angel of the Lord, knows better.

She’d been rather charmed by all the talk of the ‘unsinkable’ ship, to be honest. The humans’ confidence in their handiwork is always endearing, in her opinion.

Heaven did not think so.

She’s been tasked with making sure the Titanic sinks mid-journey, and she feels ill every time she thinks about it. She resisted this assignment more than she’s ever resisted anything. But she had no allies in her fight, and the higher-ups won, as they always do, and she can’t help wondering if this really is what the Highest Up would want. Surely She wouldn’t be in favour of drowning all of her children?

Images of an ark and a unicorn and dismayed golden eyes flash in front of hers, and Aziraphale forces herself to focus on the present, in which a voice is shouting “Aziraphale!”

She turns to find Crowley weaving his skillful way through the crowd towards her, looking absolutely delighted.

“Hullo!” he says once he’s within earshot. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Aziraphale asks instead, unwilling to answer the question.

“‘M only here for the ride,” says Crowley, beaming, clearly caught up in the thrill of it all. “Built all this themselves, angel, can you believe it? Humanity - best idea She ever had, don’t you think?”

“Yes, quite,” say Aziraphale, clutching her bag and praying she doesn’t lose her lunch. And they haven’t even put out to sea yet.

“Here, let me take that,” says Crowley, snatching it out of her grasp before she can properly protest. “You’re looking a bit peaky.”

“Oh, no,” says Aziraphale, “I’m feeling fine.”

“If you say so,” says Crowley cheerfully, “but I’m going to carry it anyway.”

He is very excited about this boat, thinks Aziraphale wretchedly, and wishes fervently that she weren’t so much of a coward, that Falling didn’t scare her as much as it does, that she’d fought Gabriel harder.

Too late now.

Crowley shows her to her room, chattering about the ship and how big it is and what’s on it and who’s on it and Aziraphale grows more and more upset about what she has to do.

She lets Crowley show her around the room, too, regaling her with information about the bunk, the mirror, the bathroom. She lets him lead her up to the deck, watches him close his eyes and inhale ocean air, watches him smile to himself as children scamper past them, laughing.

And the whole time she knows, she knows, that she’s going to be sinking this ship in a few days, and it makes her absolutely sick.

But it would make her sicker for Crowley to know what she’s going to do, so she forces a smile when he turns to look at her, grin stretching from ear to ear, eyes bright with excitement, and prays to be given the strength to do what she has to do.

Except she can’t do it. She can’t, she can’t, she can’t. She comes to this conclusion right around the time that she sees Crowley listening intently to a little girl who is telling him why the boat is floating. (It involves a lot of fairies and a few mermaids and is not very scientifically accurate but you’d never know from the serious ‘mmhmm’ and ‘really?' noises Crowley is making.) When the girl is finished explaining, he surreptitiously snaps his fingers and presents her with a mermaid doll which is sporting sparkly purple hair and a long orange tail. The bright colours and plush sturdiness of it are all are well before their time, and Aziraphale can’t stop herself from beaming at him as the girl runs off to show her new toy to her mother.

“That was quite sweet,” she says.

Crowley promptly turns forty shades of red and sputters a lot of incoherent things that eventually turn into, “Shut up.”

Aziraphale does, but keeps smiling at him, because she can’t help herself, and then feels guilty, because he’s a demon, and the whole time she knows with absolute certainty that she can’t do it. She cannot sink this ship and end all these lives.

She simply cannot.

But Gabriel can make her, and she learns this in the most horrible way possible. She is on the deck late one night, enjoying the fresh sea air and feeling like an awful angel, which is how she feels most of the time, these days, when there’s the unmistakable sound of someone threading themself through time and space. She turns to her left, smiling, fully expecting to see Crowley (he’s so silly, she thinks fondly, to insist on doing things the miraculous way when he could just use the stairs) but instead finding the cold violet eyes of the Archangel Gabriel.

“Why is this ship still above water, Aziraphale?” he asks, voice dangerously level.

“Oh, Gabriel!” says Aziraphale, well aware that her attempt at surprise and innocence leaves a lot to be desired. “I was wondering if you’d - ”

“It’s been five days,” says Gabriel, voice still dangerous but not quite as level.

“I realize that,” says Aziraphale, unable to keep the nervousness out of her voice, “but I’ve been - ”

“We told you not to wait,” says Gabriel. He’s losing his calm. “We told you that it was time sensitive. It has to happen - ”

“But why can’t we wait?” asks Aziraphale desperately, interrupting Gabriel for the first time possibly ever. “Why couldn’t we wait until it’s closer to shore and more - ”

“No!” says Gabriel, and he is in fact glaring at this point. “Aziraphale, we know you like the humans, but you cannot let your emotions get in the way of your tasks. Angels are not supposed to have emotions. Now do the job.”

“Couldn’t you do it for me?” says Aziraphale, aware that she’s pleading at this point and hating herself for letting it happen at all but she can’t, she can’t -

“Aziraphale,” says Gabriel, and he’s in her personal space and she can’t seem to breathe and he’s too close and he’s angry - “Do it.”

And in a moment that Aziraphale will regret for the rest of her life, she does.

The effects aren’t awful immediately, because Aziraphale is a coward. There’s a shudder that seems to run through the whole of the ship, and then silence. Gabriel steps back, a satisfied expression on his face. He says “was that so hard?” and then he disappears.

Crowley appears almost immediately after, and Aziraphale feels relieved, thinking, “that was a close thing,” and then absolutely horrible, because how can she care about being found out for fraternizing with a demon when she has just done a much more unforgivable thing?

(Except that according to Gabriel {and Michael, and Uriel} it was supposed to happen and no forgiveness is necessary. Aziraphale does not understand.)

“What just happened?” he asks. There’s no hint of panic in his voice. He has no idea. He’s just curious.

“Oh,” says Aziraphale, and she feels as though she’s going to be violently sick any moment now, “I’m not sure.”

Crowley looks at her, really looks, because she’s never been able to lie to him. But he doesn’t realize what really happened, he can’t have, because he just looks concerned.

“What’s wrong, angel?” he demands. “Who frightened you?”

Aziraphale scoffs.

“Frightened,” she says. “Ridiculous. I’m an angel of the Lord, Crowley, I do not get frightened.”

“Okay, okay, I believe you,” says Crowley, who does not believe her. “Just - if something big were going down, you’d tell me, right?”

“Of course,” says Aziraphale, and when he wanders away, apparently satisfied with the answer, she starts crying.

It is one of the most horrendous nights of her life.

She stays on board, trying to help where she can, trying to find quiet places to multiply lifeboats and failing. She gives hugs and distributes as much peace as she can and tries to keep the tears at bay. She tries not to think about Crowley.

And she succeeds, until they’re loading up one of the last lifeboats. He turns up at her side, hands in his pockets, a haunted look in his eyes.

“So this is why you were here,” he says quietly. “It was the ‘unsinkable’ bit, wasn’t it? Heaven just couldn’t take that, could they?”

“Oh, Crowley,” she says, voice breaking, and somehow finds herself crying into his shoulder. His arms, wiry but strong, wrap themselves around her and she is held tight and feels safer than she ever has. (Which is silly, because she is on a sinking ship with a demon hanging onto her, but that’s the way it is.) “I’m sorry,” she sobs. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Shhh,” says Crowley, and his voice is raw, too. “‘Sn’t your fault.”

“But I - ”

“‘S those absolute wankers,” he says, voice going harsh and vicious and shocking her a little bit, “that made you do it.”

“I did the miracle, though, Crowley, I - ”

“Didn’t do it until you had to,” says Crowley, and his voice is soft but full of conviction. He pulls away, holds her at arms’ length, and she tries to pretend that she doesn’t very much miss the warmth of his torso and the snugness of his arms. “Not your fault, angel. It’s not your fault.”

“Well - thank you,” she whispers, feeling overwhelmed with grace she does not deserve. “That’s not - you don’t - I’m so sorry - ”

“I know,” says Crowley, looking past her to something on the deck. He’s quiet for a minute, and when he speaks again he sounds properly choked up. “Me, too.”

She turns to see what he’s looking at, and follows his line of sight to a purple-haired doll lying, abandoned, on the deck.

“‘S how it goes, I guess,” says Crowley, letting go of her and taking a couple long strides to pick it up. “You’d think we’d be used to it by now.” He looks at the doll contemplatively for a moment and then turns to her. “Well,” he says, puffing his cheeks and blowing out air. “This is it, then.”

“Indeed,” says Aziraphale somberly. “I’m not meant to fly away, I don’t think.”

“I’m not meant to be on board,” says Crowley ruefully. “Still, ‘m glad I came. Worth it, I think.”

“You can’t mean to - there’s still space!” says Aziraphale, staring first at him and then at the -

Last boat. The very last one.

“There is,” agrees Crowley, and he’s looking at her in a way she thinks she understands and knows she does not want to. “Just a little, though. Just for you.”

“No!” says Aziraphale, appalled at the thought. “No, not without you, Crowley! No!”

“Give that to her if you see her, will you?” says Crowley roughly, thrusting the doll into her hands and taking her by the shoulders.

She starts to struggle.

“No!” she cries. “No, no!”

But he’s relentless, and she’s used a lot of her strength tonight, and he guides her over to the last of the lifeboats. There is just barely space, and she tries to put up enough of a fight that someone else can get in, fill up the space, before she does.

Crowley spins her around to face him and meets her eyes. She can feel her eyes are welling up with tears.

“You’ve got to go,” he says firmly. “You can - help. You can help, without getting into tr - you can help. And you’ve never been discorporated, and believe me, angel, you don’t want to be. Now get in the bloody lifeboat.”

And he sweeps her up and deposits her into it with a tenderness that she starts crying harder.

“Please,” she says, so emotionally overwrought that she doesn’t care that she’s begging. “Please come with me. Please let me stay with you. Please, Crowley, please…”

“Bye, angel,” says Crowley, and kisses the back of her hand. “See you ‘round.”

And then he lets go of her and backs up and sticks his hands back in his pockets and she and the other weeping people in the boat are lowered into the water.

She stares at the redheaded figure on the deck, who is watching the grim proceedings with very practiced, very forced casualness, and her vision blurs when he raises his hand to give a final, lackadaisical wave.

She watches, eyes blurring with tears, until he’s out of sight, and then she clutches the doll to herself for a moment, wipes her eyes, and sets about keeping everyone in the boat alive.

#ineffable husbands au week #ineffable husbands #titanic #titanic au #aziraphale #crowley #gabriel #miracles #I don't even know what happened

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misterspectacular · 4 years

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THE ARRANGEMENT is the occult-being version of having an affair. This is Crowley and Aziraphale cheating on Heaven and Hell, with each other.

The Arrangement is equivalent to them having sex. Like just read this.

Crowley: That’s why I thought we should... (looks at Aziraphale pointedly)

Aziraphale: (looks back)

Crowley: Well... bit of a waste of effort...

Aziraphale: (looks away)

Crowley: ... both of us going all the way to Scotland.

Aziraphale: You cannot actually be suggesting... (looks around nervously before looking back to Crowley only very briefly) what I infer... you’re implying.

Crowley: Which is?

Aziraphale: That only one of us goes to Edenborough. Does both. The blessing and the tempting.

Crowley: We’ve done it before. Dozens of times now.

Aziraphale: (sighs, pressing lips together, looking away)

Crowley: THE ARRANGEMENT.

Aziraphale: Don’t SAY that.

Crowley: Our respective head offices don’t actually care how things get done. They just want to know they can cross it off the list.

Aziraphale: But if Hell finds out, they won’t just be angry. They’ll destroy you.

Crowley: Nobody ever has to know.

Like this is literally Crowley, a married man, asking to have sex with Aziraphale, also a married man. Hell destroying Crowley? Jealous lover destroying Crowley. And Crowley’s like NEITHER OF THEM HAVE TO KNOW, IT’LL BE OUR LITTLE SECRET.

Oh my god and if you think about the coin toss. They toss, for heads or tails. Top or bottom... Heads being top, tails being bottom. Aziraphale wanted to be on top, and chose heads, but it was tails. He’s on bottom. Hahaha

---

“If they knew I’d been... fraternizing!”

“Fraternizing?!”

“Whatever you wish to call it! “I have plenty of people to fraternize with, angel, I don’t need you!”

(This would be like Aziraphale saying their relationship is just a fling, like Crowley’s just a good lay, while Crowley over here is like PARDON ME??? I THOUGHT WE WERE IN LOVE, HOW COULD YOU???)

#aziraphale #crowley #good omens #ineffable soulmates

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blkholeinfinity · 5 years

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My Good Omens Headcanon That No One Asked For

I’m not saying that anyone else’s headcanon are incorrect, or that anyone’s wrong for disagreeing with me! And honestly, just because these are my headcanon doesn’t mean I don’t accept other headcanon. Think of it as: if I was going to write Good Omens fanfic, these are the headcanon I’m going to roll with. If I’m enjoying fanworks or meta, anything goes, even/especially things that contradict my own headcanon.

And since the miniseries is burning stronger in my brainspace than the book atm, this is all relevant to the miniseries canon only.

Bonus Ineffable Bureaucracy headcanon at the end!

Ineffable Husbands Being Dumb About Their Feelings Headcanon

Crowley has been infatuated - not in love - with Aziraphale from the beginning. He didn’t realize his infatuation until Rome, and I can’t pinpoint when or where that infatuation turned into love since I believe it was a slow, gradual process. He definitely realized it before 1862, though, if not in 1862 the second Aziraphale said “fraternizing.”

For Aziraphale, he was fascinated with Crowley since the beginning. Maybe infatuated, too. He realized his infatuation a lot sooner, hence why he blatantly hit on Crowley in Rome (maybe realized it in Rome?), but then took a few giant steps back until sometime after 537 when he started making his way back to Crowley again, thus beginning his complicated feelings about his not-so-complicated feelings about Crowley. In other words, his brain was trying to convince himself that it was Not Personal, Purely Business, Just Friendship (But Not Officially), even if his heart was screaming at him otherwise. His infatuation grew into love over the centuries, but he didn’t realize it until, famously, 1941.

1967 was when they both realized that the other definitely felt the same way. Where Crowley was ready to take it to the next step at that moment, Aziraphale, well. WE ALL KNOW.

They finally stopped being dumb after the bus stop. They didn’t take things further than making out before they (Aziraphale) realized what Agnes’s prophecy meant, but they finally stopped being dumb about their feelings either on the way back from Tadfield or in Crowley’s flat.

Aziraphale was the one who had to stop being dumb first, and he absolutely was. He confessed first, he kissed Crowley first. They’d never make any progress otherwise.

General Aziraphale and Crowley Headcanon

I headcanon angels and demons having the power to speak whatever language they need to when on Earth, but Aziraphale and Crowley have been on Earth too long to remember this particular power in their arsenal. If they haven’t used it in the past, say, 100 years, they’ve forgotten the language completely.

Until they remember that they have this particular power. But don’t count on them coming to that realization on their own.

Anyway, Aziraphale and Crowley both canonically know English in the present day, obviously, but they’ve retained some German and French from their WWII shenanigans. Crowley knows some Russian although he isn’t particularly good at it because he played around quite a bit during the Cold War, and Aziraphale is surprisingly fluent in Japanese. Because sushi.

Aziraphale is a damn good swordsangel.

Crowley tries to get Aziraphale to watch TV and movies by tailoring his recommendations to what he knows Aziraphale would like and sitting down with him to watch it. Because Crowley knows Aziraphale so well, it’s actually a successful endeavor... until Aziraphale tries to watch something on his own that wasn’t a Crowley Recommendation and Regrets Everything.

In turn, Aziraphale definitely drags Crowley to every single West End production at least once a month. Crowley complains but he doesn’t actually mind. He really does enjoy most of the shows.

Crowley was all about that rock-and-roll life in the 1980s. Mostly for the aesthetic, though.

Crowley would absolutely be a cat person, if cats were demon people. But cats and demons don’t mix. This makes him a little sad, but at least he always has his rats?

Aziraphale and Crowley’s Sexuality Headcanon

I headcanon them both as demiromantic, sex-neutral asexuals.

And by demiromantic I mean that Aziraphale is Crowley-romantic and Crowley is Aziraphale-romantic.

They both have had sex prior to each other for a variety of reasons, but mostly either out of curiosity or because their jobs.

The first time they had sex with each other was primarily out of curiosity, since this is what a lot of humans do when they’re in love so might as well see if it’s any different with each other than with others. They found that they rather enjoy it better with each other than with anyone else they’ve ever slept with, but still didn’t quite understand what the big deal was, but they continue to do it every few years or so.

But they love to make out and cuddle.

General Angel and Demon Headcanons

Most angels and demons don’t really... get... gender. They present the way that they do for a few different reasons, the most popular ones being either aesthetics or apathy (aka- they were given the bodies they were given and never really gave another thought to them).

Any angel or demon who has spent a considerable amount of time on Earth are the exceptions to the rule. Obviously this includes Aziraphale and Crowley, and they’re probably the only two who are the closest to getting it - not that any of them are playing by humanity’s gender rules. They’re still either going for aesthetics or convenience.

In other words, just because Aziraphale and Crowley understand how gender works by human standards doesn’t mean they abide by it. It’s like that meme: Aziraphale’s gender is “nah” and Crowley’s gender is “yes.”

When in Heaven or Hell, the angels and demons speak a celestial language. The demons have bastardize it since falling, but it’s still the same basic language, and none of it is a human language.

Bunny Demon/Eric/Disposable Demon has a sort of hero worship crush (not an actual crush) on Crowley. Sorry, you can pry this one from my cold, dead fingers.

In the Final-Final Battle, Aziraphale and Crowley won’t be the only angel/demon to go against Heaven and Hell for the sake of humanity. There are 10 million angels and 10 million demons, at least a handful of them are going to join them, but it’ll be a long, slow process.

Yes, Bunny Demon/Eric/Disposable Demon will still be the first one to join their side.

God Headcanons

God isn’t just a woman, but a genderfluid woman.

She’s utterly fond of Aziraphale, which is why she never punished him for giving away the flaming sword.

And yes, she definitely knows that he did that. She wasn’t angry, just Disappointed.

She’s the reason Aziraphale and Crowley were handed Agnes’s final prophecy. Come on, that piece of paper flew to Aziraphale’s hand just a little too purposefully.

Also she’ll never let Aziraphale fall because, again, she’s really fond of him. You can pry that one from my cold, dead fingers, too.

Not!Armageddon was absolutely planned the way that it was so she could get her ultimate revenge on Satan - by having his own son disavow him.

God’s plan is Ineffable mostly because she keeps changing her mind.

And also she’s the trolliest troll who ever trolled.

Anathema, Newt, and The Them Headcanons

Anathema stays in Tadfield and becomes a surrogate big sister to the Them, but especially to Adam.

Newt also stays in Tadfield and has a more diverse relationship with the Them: Adam is indifferent, he and Wensleydale and Brian wind up getting along swimmingly, and Pepper straight up dislikes him.

Mrs. Young adores Anathema and Newt. Mr. Young, on the other hand, disapproves of them, but sees them as generally harmless enough to allow Adam to hang out with them. Not that Adam would stop even if Mr. Young tried to forbid it.

Pepper takes up swordfighting once she starts junior high/high school by taking classes at a local HEMA guild.

Dog lives forever.

The Four Horsepeople of the Apocalypse Headcanons

(Un)fortunately, War, Famine, and Pollution aren’t perma-dead. They come back and pick their lives up right where they left off.

These four are a Found Family.

I also ship them all together. OT4, ya’ll.

Pestilence is definitely THE anti-vax mom and is delighted that they might be coming out of retirement soon.

Not that Pollution intends to retire just because Pestilence is back.

But there’s always room for one more, is the Horsepeople’s opinion.

So now they are the Five Horsepeople of the Apocalypse. Fight them, God.

(God doesn’t care, this is all the humans’ doing anyway.)

And yes, the Them gets a fifth person to their crew to counter Pestilence. Probably someone aspiring to be a doctor. This is an accident, of course. Sort of. Adam can’t explain it, but his Antichrist senses were tingling...

Ineffable Bureaucracy Headcanons

Gabriel and Beelzebub were absolutely a Thing before Beelzebub fell, and their dynamic is more like an exhausted-but-still-angry-but-still-in-love divorced couple.

They start reuniting after Not!Armageddon, but it takes a few years for them to get there.

Gabriel is a sex-repulsed asexual (I do not sully my body...), where Beelzebub is a sex-neutral asexual.

And they’re both demiromantic. By which I mean Gabriel is Beelzebub-romantic and Beelzebub is Gabriel-romantic. But they hate it. They didn’t use to hate it, but then Beelzebub fell and things got messy and complicated and things were said that cannot be unsaid.

Gabriel uses ‘he’ pronouns (which I think is canon anyway?) where Beelzebub doesn’t care what pronouns you use for them. (Personally, I love ‘ze/they/her’ for Beelzebub, but I don’t think zey care.)

Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s brains broke when they discovered that Gabriel and Beelzebub are a couple now and they still haven’t fully recovered.

#good omens #good omens headcanon #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #the them #anathema #four horsepeople of the apocalypse

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thisbitchinthecorner · 4 years

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1864 Day 13- Wrapping Prompt

This is rushed and not what I was hoping for, but it’s done and on time lol! Not like anyone is reading what I write, but I’m having fun anway! For @drawlight

1864

Another Christmas without Crowley. He tried desperately to banish that thought from his mind as he busied himself wrapping gifts he had purchased for his circle of friends. Fine paper embossed with depictions of angels; their halos seemingly illuminated by magic, their harps seemingly playing an enchanted tune. Each finely wrapped box trimmed with sprigs of gold tinsel. Gold, like Crowley’s eyes.

We’ve gone longer than this without speaking, there’s no need to worry. He swallowed his concern along with several glasses of brandy as he sat alone in his bookshop; attempting to lose himself the novel du jour.

Perhaps he will be at Master Dickens’s Christmas party. He mused as he sat at yet another literary get together, his leg bouncing anxiously as he waited for an appropriate moment to ask his inquiry.

“Pray tell, you don’t happen to know if Mr. Crowley will be in attendance this year at the holiday party?” Aziraphale asked finally.

“I don’t think so, seems he’s dropped off from social events. No one has neither seen nor heard from him for ages now.” Mr. Meredith sighed with longing.

“Oh.” Aziraphale said sounding most disappointed.

“You mean, you haven’t heard from him either?” Madame Evans raised an eyebrow.

“Not in a while, but that’s not necessarily unusual.” Aziraphale reasoned, mostly to quell is own fears.

“Well then! That is a surprise. I mean, if he’s not in contact with you, then it’s fair to say he’s gone for good.” Mr. Meredith said with flair. “That Mr. Crowley is most elusive with his feelings. I tried my best to catch his eye, but whenever I thought that perhaps I had, he would make some excuse and leave me standing there alone. I know I’m not the only one who felt that way. Seemed like he was always waiting for someone.”

Aziraphale coughed after taking a sip of wine. “Waiting for someone?”

“The one he’s really in love with. We all assumed that it was you.” Mr. Meredith stared with keen interest, he studied the angel’s reaction carefully.

“Me?” Aziraphale gasped.

“You really are oblivious!” Madame Evans laughed. “I mean, Mr. Crowley was only interested in attending parties once he found out you would be there.”

“He always left with you, never with anyone else.” Mr. Meredith chimed.

“The way he fretted over you, doted on you...honestly, you two have never? Not ever?” Madame Evans held nothing back as she questioned.

“No.” The angel muttered, suddenly feeling very unsteady.

“If he’s abandoned his pursuit of you, then love truly is dead.” Mr. Meredith flung his hands into the air dramatically.

“He doesn’t...I mean, he can’t possibly. I mean, me?” The room began to feel smaller, as he spoke.

Both writers looked at him, their faces softened and Madame Evans placed her hand a top the angel’s.

“Who knows what is really in a man’s heart. But my dear, this is certain, Mr. Crowley loves you.” Madame Evans cooed.

He left the gathering, still stunned by what his friends had to confessed to him.

Crowley doesn’t love me. He cannot love anything, he’s a demon, and demons absolutely do not love. Right?

He spent that Christmas standing alone among a crowd of partygoers. Cannot possibly be love. He thought as he swirled his glass of whiskey in the corner of the room.

He spent the following Christmas at the Vatican in Rome, celebrating with The Pope and a litany of Catholic faithful. Crowley only fretted because he needed something from me, he is a demon and demons are inherited evil. Aren’t they?

He spent many, many Christmases in various places with various people, but he spent all them without Crowley. Each passing year, he felt the demon’s absence more and more. 79 years had passed since their last meeting in St. James’s Park. 79 years since he called their friendship “fraternizing” and not a day when by where he didn’t regret his choice of words. 79 Christmases alone. Each of them lonely. He cannot love me.

He cannot love me

He does not love me

Then one evening, in a church in London, they reunite. The anger has vanished, the hurt has dimmed but the light, the light glows with an electric pulse that charges through both celestial beings. A spark that ignites with a selfless miracle; an act of kindness that could only mean one thing and one thing only.

He does love me

And I love him

#31 days of ineffables #ineffable husbands #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #justenoughofabastardtobeworthknowing

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angels-dining-at-the-ritz · 5 years

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Aziraphale And His Fear of The “Suicide Pill”

Finally, I managed to cobble something resembling a coherent text together. It didn’t turn into the meta I hoped for, instead it’s more of an introspection and somewhat a way for me to deal with the emotions that scene invokes in me. But perhaps some people, including @neverland-in-space and @scarlettsoldier whom I promised to tag in this, might be interested nonetheless. Anyway, this is four hand-written pages long, so buckle up.

When Crowley shows Aziraphale his demands - Holy Water - the angel immediately declines. He panics, but he lists two reasons:

1. The Holy Water would not only kill Crowley’s curent body, it would destroy him completely forever.

1.5 He assumes Crowley would use it as such to commit suicide

2. If Heaven found out about the two of them striking deals, there’d be trouble.

I bring this up because I want to tackle the second point first. It seems an odd reason to lits. It’s not really related, on the first glance, because the way he says it, it sounds almost like his superiors could find out about it when he gives Crowley the water. I doubt they keep track of all holy water on earth. Maybe there’s special paperwork for that kind of blessing? We can only speculate, of course, but I want to offer another side - difficult enough, as we never hear that sentence finished.

He never voices any concern about his own life and safety in the entire discussion.

But...just think about it for a moment. Heaven discovers their field agent has been “fraternizing” with the one from the opposition. And perhaps they even find out the demon is in the possession of holy water that their traitor blessed for him. We have ample evidence that heaven has a strict regime concerning punishment to make examples of their traitors. We are talking about a time where a collaboration between Upstairs and Downstairs is unthinkable, even for this. So most likely not death by hellfire for the angel. But the demon? The one the traitor grew fond of? What better and crueler way than to kill the traitor’s object of affection with the very same insurance he got him? Crowley could get killed by heaven with this holy water and Aziraphale could not bear that kind of guilt.

Crowley could also kill himself on accident. Holy water is basically like nitroglycerin for the demon, a little bit would have desasterous results. That is also a horrible thing to happen.

But Aziraphale’s mind immediately jumps to the conclusion of 1.5. He doesn’t see the water as “insurance” as in a protection against other demons. He assumes Crowley wants to use it as a “suicide pill”. He looks and sounds certain about this. He focuses on this, doesn’t even consider or focus on the huge protection it could give Crowley against other demons if Hell finds out about them. No, he stays adamantly on the point Crowley could - would? - use it on himself.

Even excluding what would await him if they were found out, Crowley has never been happy being a demon, Aziraphale surely knows that by now, or at least has his suspicions. Their relationship also seems a bit strained at the time - maybe something else is weighing on them at the moment? But that’s them, they always bounce back eventually. There is nobody else either of them can turn to, after all. There is nobody Crowley can talk to like to Aziraphale, no matter what he says to hurl hurtful words at the angel because he’s upset. And Crowley acting gloomy at this current time, without anybody to talk to, not truly content with his state of being since...well, ever, and THEN he’s almost casually asking for the one thing that can truly obliterate him?

Of course Aziraphale is worried what he is going to do with that stuff, is afraid about that behaviour. He may not be able to explain it or even wrap it into words but he definitely sees that Crowley is exhibiting unhealthy symptoms. And due to their special circumstances he could succumb to self-endangering behaviour far more easily - and let’s remember that he probably does just that, considering he, a demon, enters a church not even a century later, no matter how important the reason. He takes his own safety into almost astonishingly little account there.

Yes, I think Aziraphale has a right to be concerned. I just don’t think that is why he is concerned. Of course, he’s afraid that his best and only friend might want to off himself but what he is truly terrified of is the vague possibilities of an “afterwards”, of a “without Crowley”.

He doesn’t want to think about a world where Crowley doesn’t exist anymore, where hell would send another field agent up, someone undoubtedly far less reasonable. Someone who doesn’t want to have any kind of agreement, lowercase or otherwise, and who would revel in committing heinous acts. He doesn’t want to think about having to actively fight a foul demon who will fight him viciously in return. He wants to think about perhaps having to return to heaven even less, getting a commendation for finally defeating his demonic foil. He cannot stomach thinking about Gabriel’s heavy hand clasping his shoulder uncomfortably while the archangel talks about the dead demon like some kind of slain beast that the world was better off without. He doesn’t want to think about trying a new restaurant with an empty place at his side. A table just for one doesn’t even bear contemplation. He doesn’t want to think about how there would be no one to meet up with in a bandstand or a dark alleyway or the park to feed the ducks with under the pretense of discussing some harebrained scheme. About no more surprise visits in his cozy but ultimately lonely bookshop. About wine bottles that will only be tasted and emptied by one. About no more soft snores coming from his couch. The very idea of a life with a Crowley-shaped hole in it is unbearable to him. Crowley has always been there. With him. At his si- on the other side.

Aziraphale has had one constant in his entire life - Crowley. He opened up to the demon about things he told nobody else, found himself talking and laughing and philosophing with the other, found himself doubting as much as cementing his own beliefs thanks to Crowley. Never mind getting drunk together or visiting a concert or theatre play or, after sharing a workload ever so often, accompany the other to their latest assignment.

Crowley is not only the only friend Aziraphale ever had, he has been his companion. From the beginning on, after they met and re-met out of the garden, they were always more or less together, crossing paths at an ever growing frequency until they were around each other what felt like all the time.

To lose such a constant, such a familiarity, would be awful for anybody. But Aziraphale needs Crowley, specifically. He needs Crowley more than anyone else, perhaps even more than Crowley needs him. They aren’t truly native yet, not like they will be at some point. And Aziraphale needs somebody to cancel him out. He needs a counterweight, someone that is the other side to his coin.

Aziraphale is not someone who is an unwavering believer, neither in heaven nor himself. He always tries to suppress it, he doesn’t want to doubt. And he doesn’t. Much. But without Crowley, probably saying out loud whatever thought Aziraphale tries not to have ever so often, it would be worse. Yes, Crowley is just as much as humanity the reason Aziraphale changes into who he is at the end of the story. Crowley changes him. But he does so slowly, steadily, keeping the angel who cannot stand his side drowning children for “the greater good” from ignoring and shoving all those little and big negative thoughts aside into a dusty mental cabinet until it spills over and he spirals down and perhaps - probably - surely, even, falls.

Aziraphale is, at his core, a kind, a good person. He is not made for the kind of unquestioning loyalty heaven demands, not truly, no matter how much he tries to convince himself otherwise. He is too good an angel to be part of the establishment. And without Crowley as a secret outlet to cling to, as someone to use as his own measurement, he would realise this in a volatile way. And a small part of him knows at least part of that.

Never mind how much he just unabashedly enjoys Crowley’s company, without Crowley in his life, Aziraphale would either wilt or spiral out of control. Maybe he can’t pinpoint exactly why, but he knows that he cannot exist without Crowley. Not anymore, after all this time together.

The only thing that could make all of this worse for him is the thought of Crowley choosing to kill himself because that would mean he doesn’t feel as strongly about this, that he doesn’t need Aziraphale as much as Aziraphale needs him and that Crowley cares little enough to just leave him behind alone.

And if there is anything Aziraphale might be even more afraid of than a life without Crowley, it would be Crowley not caring about him.

So he does the only thing he can think of in that moment, because his mind is most likely screaming and crying and thrashing at all those horrible suffocating thoughts; he throws the piece of paper away, lets the soothing disguise of righteous wrath wash over him and leave before he does something tremendously stupid like, for example, tell Crowley how strongly he feels about the demon or break down crying in front of him.

#good omens #good omens show #good omens meta #meta #text posts #long post #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale/crowley #aziraphale x crowley #aziraphale & crowley #character discussion #character interpretation

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ao3feed-goodomens · 4 years

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A Hell of His Own Making

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2ZKz1go

by Anti_kate

After the world doesn’t end, Hastur and Gabriel take revenge on Aziraphale and Crowley.

“Just, answer me something, angel. You want things to stay the same. Well. If heaven suddenly called you up and said, hey Aziraphale, all is forgiven, let’s forget that time you ruined armageddon by fraternizing with a demon and possessing a human and talking the antichrist into saving the world, here’s your flaming sword, time to get back to work... what would you do?”

Words: 4413, Chapters: 1/7, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale, Crowley, Hastur, Gabriel, Anathema Device, male OC, Female OC, Madame Tracy, Shadwell - Character

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley

Additional Tags: Angst, Hastur and Gabriel seek revenge, Hell or is it, Post-Apocalypse, Canon compliant in a vague sort of way, A forest full of pining, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Physical hurt/comfort, Crowley LOOK OUT, Demon Hunters, Morons in love, Prophecies, No Betas We Fall Like Crowley, Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, God I’m sorry, i like big plots and I cannot lie, No smut until the very last chapter, Plot with barely any porn, Gabriel POV, Hastur POV, Aziraphale POV, Crowley POV

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2ZKz1go

#ao3feed #fanfic #Good Omens

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ellicler · 5 years

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ok here’s my take on the Emotional Make-Up & Moral Journey of Aziraphale. it’s Much Too Long because i can’t be concise i’m sorry

(1) book!Azi is a stone cold bitch who behaves Nice most of the time because he’s the laziest person in existence, and Niceness is the path of the least resistance for him. ‘why can’t we all just be friends and get along’, literally. (see here for the best way to put it: ‘The thing about Aziraphale is that he very genuinely and sincerely wants to be good and make the world a better place, but he also very genuinely and sincerely wants to accomplish this without any significant effort.’) he’s also very invested in the idea of himself as a Good Person and that’s why he buys Heaven’s party line hook line and sinker. he’s a very black-and-white thinker, and stubborn as the proverbial ass, so he holds onto this idea the longest he can. but when he snaps, he snaps. after Metatron in the book tells him definitively that saving humanity is not something Heaven has any interest in, we later get treated to this beauty of a speech:

I mean, you're right about the fire and war, all that. But that Rapture stuff well, if you could see them all in Heaven—serried ranks of them as far as the mind can follow and beyond, league after league of us, flaming swords, all that, well, what I'm trying to say is who has time to go round picking people out and popping them up in the air to sneer at the people dying of radiation sickness on the parched and burning earth below them? If that's your idea of a morally acceptable time, I might add.

And as for that stuff about Heaven inevitably winning . . . Well, to be honest, if it were that cut and dried, there wouldn't be a Celestial War in the first place, would there? It's propaganda. Pure and simple. We've got no more than a fifty percent chance of coming out on top. You might just as well send money to a Satanist hotline to cover your bets, although to be frank when the fire falls and the seas of blood rise you lot are all going to be civilian casualties either way. Between our war and your war, they're going to kill everyone and let God sort it out—right?

afterwards it never occurs to Aziraphale to stand back, give up or shut up. it’s him who convinces Crowley that making a heroic Last Stand before Satan Himself is a good way to go.

at the center of Aziraphale, there’s this steel of moral righteousness and absolute conviction, and it’s a beautiful thing to see it freed from the shackles of the false ideology that used to blind him. now he follows the moral compass that’s always been within himself, and he has no problem admitting:

"There are humans here," he said. "Yes," said Crowley. "And me." "I mean we shouldn't let this happen to them." "Well, what—" Crowley began, and stopped. "I mean, when you think about it, we've got them into enough trouble as it is. You and me. Over the years. What with one thing and another." "We were only doing our jobs," muttered Crowley. "Yes. So what? Lots of people in history have only done their jobs and look at the trouble they caused." "You don't mean we should actually try to stop Him?" "What have you got to lose?"

Aziraphale has always known all of this, all about how ‘good and evil are just names for sides’, but only after finding a new moral bedrock to stand on he can allow himself to admit it. to his credit, once he commits, he is ready to stop defending his past beliefs and actions (because now he’s a Good Person once more!).

(2) show!Aziraphale is also very invested in being Nice and A Good Person, but there’s a deep underlying anxiety at the core of it. he’s very afraid of being not good enough, of breaking out of the mold, of showing any sincere emotion (if it’s a negative one it’s obviously Bad; if it’s a positive one it might be... out of place?? about a wrong thing??), so he copes with all social interactions by politely smiling and shutting himself off and following the script of I’m A Nice Angel.

(i can’t help to mention that this is the way I’ve experienced being raised up as as a Good Girl, being told to always be the model of politeness and never disappoint my parents (who of course love me very much), or else. conform, be quiet, and then we all will have a nice time!)

i think the vision of Heaven we’ve been shown in the tv series reads very much like this kind of a dysfunctional family. All Angels are Good intrinsically, except for those absolute monsters who have Fallen, but you’re not like them, are you, sweetheart??? we love you, but only if you do everything we say and keep being everything we want you to be.

Heaven doesn’t even need to threaten Aziraphale much, because it’s not about fear of actual material consequences. it’s more about fear of rejection, of becoming undeserving of love because you’re not a good enough person anymore. this sort of early subtle manipulation that equates obedience with morality is the reason why Aziraphale can never allow himself to admit that something is wrong, that he disagrees with what they say is Right, and this is why he indulges in hypocrisy so much: it’s the only way he can survive. in order to carve a place out for being himself (thankfully, Heaven leaves him alone on Earth for long stretches of time), to be selfish and take pleasure in loving things (books, food) selfishly, and, of course, to ‘fraternize’ with a certain demon.

I should mention that show!Azi is also a selfish bastard at heart, but it’s more mercurial and harder to see than in the book, because he tries much harder to hide it from himself. he’s more anxious about rejection, because for him morality (being Good) is much more tightly linked to Never Being Called Bad, never being unpleasant to people. (which is why he’s totally okay with Crowley 'disposing of’ people on his behalf and never thinks of interfering - but is very resistant to doing it himself.)

he doesn’t have book!Azi’s feeling of self-righteousness at the core (‘I’m on the Right Side so everything I do is Right’) and thus he cannot really afford anyone to call him out on being the least bit unkind. what this comes down to is, Aziraphale is so worried about perception that he forgets that actual kindness is proactive. if no-one calls him out on it, he can keep telling himself he’s okay. he dismisses most of his own moral impulses because he’s so tangled up in external validation of his ethics. which is a profoundly selfish disposition, of course: it’s much more about making himself feel good about his choices than making actually Right choices. in order to internalise the sense of morality, he first needs to trust himself to exist independently, and his story is precisely about that. (’I made Michael conjure me a towel!’ ah, the final separation, what a beauty.)

Crowley is much more central to Aziraphale’s arc in the show, because it’s not just about rejecting the stifling conditional love of Heaven, it’s about admitting, yes, ‘we’re on our side’, there is a side to be on! and it’s the side of Crowley accepting him as he is, regardless of whether he’s Good or Nice or Right. Aziraphale’s journey is inextricably linked with his desire to just let go and admit that yes, he’s the happiest when he’s with Crowley, yes, they’re friends and when they’re together he doesn’t want to think about right or wrong. and that’s why the culmination of his arc, the strongest beats of the story, are in his dialogue with Crowley: ‘if you don’t do something, I’ll... never talk to you again!’ (= ‘I accept you and what we mean to each other’), Crowley telling him ‘you don’t have a side anymore, neither of the two’ (and Azi tacitly agreeing arguing and later doing the whole body swap thing, which is precisely them fighting against Heaven & Hell together), and just... the whole final scene in the garden and at the Ritz, which is about the confirmation: yes, we’re the same, you and me (’a good person’ and ‘just enough of a bastard’) and we have the world, I don’t need more validation than that, I can and will stand up against those who will try to manipulate my sense of right and wrong again, I know now that this is right.

#good omens #meta #aziraphale #my opinions

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