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avaelangel · 5 months

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Marie is an emotional drunk.

LiMoreau blurb. I thought, since Jordan has tolerance towards most abilities in terms of combat, they also might have an inhuman tolerance to any substance. Or spice, but this is another story. Anyway, Marie doesn't have than kind of tolerance, even though she might be able to control how a substance will affect her bloodstream.

Dimmed lights in Jordan's room would have been a good start to an intimate atmosphere, if Marie wasn't beating her partner in Mortal Kombat. It was newbie's luck consistent of smashing buttons and learning their position without looking down at the controller. Marie was torn on Jordan letting her win or at least letting her down easy. They did show her the ropes and activated the fatality the first moment they got. ''So not fair!'' Marie nudged laughing Jordan, that even fell over to make her feel better, while Sub-Zero showcased Mileena's crushed head on the screen.

''Sorry! Couldn't resist,'' they nudged her back, but much softer, ''Do you want a beer? Or like a gummie or something?''

Their thoughtful gaze and Marie's complete unfamiliriaty with all things perspective-altering. But she squinted, sighed and noded.

''A beer, please. Do you really have a fridge there?'' Awkwardness was overcome with curiousity.

Jordan laughed again, getting off the floor in front of the TV.

''You know NOTHING about me,'' that earned them an eye roll.

''To be fair, we are sitting in the dark of your...'' Marie trailed off, feeling Jordan's eyes on the back of her head, ''Very nice room,'' Jordan let out an exaggerated sigh, still smiling. They did clean! Very fast, because they ran back from class to get here before Marie.

''I do mean it, though,'' she said, when Jordan sat back down with with two bottles of beer. They opened one, handing it to Marie while feigning seriosness,''I like your room. It looked lived it. If it weren't for Emma, my room would look like dungeon,''

Jordan smiled in a way that made Marie want to look away. It made her feel too special. The way their eyes sparkled, their soft head tilt that made their nicely curled hair fall on the side of their face, but not too much to be a nuisance. Marie managed to take a huge sip of beer to stop herself from gawking.

''You'll get to it. I could get you a fluffy duvet to compete with Emma's. Maybe a plushie?'' Jordan, seemingly, only now remembered about their beer and opened the bottle.

''Make it the pinkiest and the sparkliest one, please. I want to be a worthy opponent,'' Marie chuckled turning to the screen.

''Deal,'' Jordan was proud for the idea to dim the lights. Because they felt their ears burning a bit.

Marie stuck to Mileena and nearly knocked down her beer, desperately trying to get to a fatality of her own. When she finally did, she watched in awe when Mileena became a flying murder spinning circle that eviscerated Jordan's D'vorah.

''Mileena wins!'' Marie threw her hands in the air, ''Finally!''

Now it was Jordan's turn to look at Marie in slightly offended astonishment.

''How dare you! It's not even the forth time and you won!'' They sounded fully upset, but they watched Marie intently. Jordan felt so happy that they got her this moment of joy from a video game. And then she laughed all her breath away, she swayed towards them and Jordan changed to reach a hand around her shoulders, while she finished her beer in a final sip. They both haven't noticed how easily their bottles got empited.

'Wanna go again?'' Jordan nearly stattered, looking into Marie's eyes.

Come on. You already kissed.

They didn't have much time to chastise themselves for being soft. Marie nodded eagerly.

''Yeah! I want the yellow one now,''

''Which yellow one?!''

Marie ment Scorpio and she also remembered his name. Another win went to her, Jordan sulked less each time, still enjoying full on weirdo screams of the victor. It was exhilarating to be liked by Jordan in any way, but sometimes just being slightly annoying was the most delicious thing of all. She knew with all of her heart that Jordan feels the same. They were almost competetively annoying. Also very cool, and strong, and...

''You are so beautiful, by the way,'' Marie felt warm and wobbly, but she didn't mind. Jordan stopped before loading a new fight. Their brows slightly furrowed, they couldn't quite pin point what was wrong.

Marie was actually tearing up.

''Are you crying because of my beaty?'' Jordan put away their controller, turning to face Marie.

''No,'' she giggles, wiping her eyes prematurely, ''Well, yeah, kind off. I think I got so happy with you that I went the full circle,''

''Awww,'' Jordan tugged her closer, wrapping their arms around her, ''You are such a light weight,'' but when she hugged them back, pressing her face to their chest, Jordan felt drunker than ever before. They weren't expecting to feel as tender as an uncooked stake today.

''I am really glad you don't hate me anymore,'' Marie murmured and shifted her face, so her tears wouldn't stain Jordan's shirt.

''You are very hard to hate, even for a hateful dick like me,'' they were totally joking, but it made her worry.

''Nooo,'' Marie raised her head and shook their shoulders, suddenly, ''You are so much more than just a dick. Shit, sorry, no. I mean, you are great. You so beautiful, you can literally slay a dragon and carry me like a princess. I mean, I had dreams, but I don't have that much imagination to dream up someone like you,'' she sniffled, another tear falling down her cheeck.

Jordan wiped it without thinking and quickly hugged her again, now much stronger. They couldn't stop blinking, their face hot and their heart heave and light at the same time. To be honest, changing into their impenetrable self didn't do shit. They stil were crumbling, because for some reason, somehow, they ended up with Marie as their girlfriend.

''Did you have a favorite princess?'' Jordan asked in a quite voice.

''Yeah. Mulan still the best,'' Marie was hugging them with all her strength.

''She wasn't exactly taken by a dragon,'' A smile spreads on Jordan's no longer trembling lips.

''Shut up. You know what I meant,''

They look at each other for a moment, hands touching at least the smallest amount of skin. Moving into the kiss was incredible natural, even though Marie grabbed onto Jordan's shirt, giving the moment a more dramatic flare. When they both pulled away, both sighed.

''Want watch Mulan?'' Jordan asked, then adding, ''I had a katana when I was a kid because of her,''

''I might cry more,'' Marie warned, averting her gaze.

''You are not getting another beer, then,'' Both laughed.

Jordan will be salty about ending gaming on Marie's win. It will lure Marie into playing again, so she could win more. It will be another nice evening and a night, maybe even weed-infused. But for now, they snuggled into Jordan's bed as the movie started. Almost putting their head on Marie's chest, Jordan pulled away, reached their hand under the bed and took out two full bags of chips Marie had never seen before.

She judged them so hard in this moment.

''I'm moving in with you,'' she said bluntly and shook her head, wraping a hand around Jordan's waist.

''I kick in my sleep,'' they retorted with a smirk, opening a bag of puffy tofu chips.

''I lived with worse,'' Marie shrugged and took one, cursing at how tasty the chip was. They legit could camp out in Jordan's room and never go out. But she stayed silent, putting her cheek on Jordan's head that was on her shoulder.

#marie moreau #im a sad drunk myself #jordan li #jordan x marie #mariejordan #limoreau #fluffiest of fluff that i've made #gen v #i just need to feel #i hope it's a nice enough thing to bring to the tags on those two #i also can't find the only kind of tofu chips there was and i'm sad

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kaladinkholins · 2 months

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Probably you have spoken about it earlier (sorry if so), but how do you think that Taigen will know Mizu's gender in the series? And how would you like it to happen? I would like it to be intentional, but regarding the amount of wounds Mizu constantly have, who knows...

Hello! :D And no I don't think I've ever written about it publicly on this blog, and to be honest I've never thought much about it.

To preface, I've not always been the type to properly sit down and theorise about future narrative decisions. When it comes to these things, I'm very "big picture" oriented, where I'd usually be fine with anything happening in the story as long as it touches on certain themes, remains in character, and adds something meaningful to our protagonists' arcs.

For example the only reason I came up with the Mizu's mom theory was because knowing exactly who Mizu's mother is (whether she is white, or royalty, or anything else), could, depending on the different posible outcomes, drastically alter Mizu's sense of identity and how she perceives herself, as well as morph the core themes and message of the overall story.

On the other hand, when it comes to the particulars of the inevitable gender reveal, I'm not picky at all, and I'm open to all the possibilities of how it would play out. This is because the outcome to all of it remains the same (in which Taigen finds out Mizu's gender), with only the process to get there differing, and in that regard, the question is then mostly on personal preference on tropes and avoiding cliches, and speculating future plot beats that would allow the gender reveal to happen in the first place.

Like you said, it could happen by way of Taigen trying to stitch Mizu up while she's unconscious or at least half-conscious, which would thus likely involve a big battle happening prior. A similar instance that comes to mind is Mizu's face off with Chiaki and the Four Fangs; iirc it's the only time Mizu is unconscious and vulnerable in front of Taigen. I'm not counting the time after they both fell out from Shindo and Fowler's fortress, because in that case, they'd both been completely KO'd. So anyway yeah, to get back on track, post-Four Fangs battle, if Ringo was not a factor, Taigen would've likely been the one to bring Mizu to safety and patch her up. From the framing of the scene, and Taigen's expression upon noticing Mizu look so vulnerable (because at this point he'd still believed Mizu to be nigh invincible, as we see from his daydream of him battling a giant Onryo in Episode 2), it's almost like the show was teasing us with the possibility of a gender reveal right there and then. But then of course, Ringo comes in and puts a stop to that happening (and thank God for that, because neither Taigen nor Mizu, on a narrative level, are ready for such a reveal yet).

Other than a Taigen-patching-Mizu-up scenario though, and outside of Mizu confessing to the truth herself, another possibility is that Taigen deduces the truth on his own. And this an idea that Ioana (@saessenach) and I were discussing, assuming a scenario where Taigen did not follow Mizu on the boat to London, but remains in Japan to do his own thing. In this scenario, all four of our protagonists are separated throughout Season 2 to have their own arcs: Mizu in London, Akemi in Edo, Ringo in Eiji's forge, and Taigen? Well, absolutely zero hints were given on where Taigen's going to go after S1, so everything's up in the air. The reason for this could be just some network/authorial reason whereby the writers are leaving it open because they themselves aren't sure what to do with Taigen.

Or, if they'd pre-planned everything early on, the complete lack of Taigen's presence at the end of the finale could itself be an indicator of where Taigen, and his arc, are going. What I mean is, Taigen in Season 2 might be a Wanderer, also known as a Ronin. Remember, he was disgraced and cast aside by his Lord, has lost his station and place in his Dojo, and him witnessing the "humiliating" death of the Shogun could be reason for Lady Itoh to want Taigen gone. He has nowhere to go. Plus, with him beginning on a journey of unlearning his prejudice and confronting his wrongdoings so he can properly change for the better (with the scene of him in Kohama in Ep7 being only his first steps), it's possible that his arc next season will be something along the lines of Zuko's from Zuko Alone in A:TLA. If you haven't watched A:TLA, what I'm referring to basically involves going from village to village, seeing that the status quo and society is cruel and unjust, trying to help people but having it kinda blow up in your face because of the fucked up status quo, and also facing the past you've been running from your whole life (through the form of flashbacks and introspection).

Thus, should a Taigen Alone arc really happen, it's possible that Taigen also gets wrapped up in some plot involving the black market dealers in these towns he visits, which would help tie in to the main story happening with Mizu and Akemi, because the white men (on Mizu's end) and the corrupt officials in the palace (on Akemi's end) both have ties to such black market dealers that Taigen may encounter. So it's possible that while investigating these people and tracking them down, Taigen gets wind of some rumours about the huge bounty on a half-breed blue-eyed girl. And, well, you can guess where it goes from there. Taigen deduces the truth, and when he reunites with Mizu later on, there'd be all this tension because now he knows. And this would be a very interesting outcome because this scenario wouldn't lend itself to a huge heat-of-the-moment argument that everyone's expecting, whereby Taigen finds out the truth while Mizu's right in front of him. Instead, in this case, Taigen finds out on his own, gets time to stew in the revelation, and likely drive himself mad in the process, and BOY THAT'D BE JUICY AS ALL HELL!

So basically, yeah, between the two scenarios I just presented, I'd favour the latter more, but I wouldn't mind the former either, or anything else the writers might throw our way.

However, I do still kind of hope Mizu could be the one to reveal the truth to Taigen herself, as I feel she should be allowed the choice in the matter, rather than having Taigen find out against her will. Plus, being the one to tell him herself would be such a huge step for her, signifying how she's opening up to people again, and would also be a big sign of some pre-established trust in their relationship.

BUT like I said, I'm not all too picky, and I also live for the drama, so, in conclusion: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I just realised just how much I typed up, and I'm so sorry that I can never be concise with my words, but I hope it's still somewhat legible. 😭 Thank you so much for this question by the way! I love rambling about this show, and I'm grateful for any chance to ramble about it even more <3 <3

#letters.doc #mbiterna #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai theory #taigen blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #for real though thank you i love getting asks that pick my brain about this show (or about anything in general tbh)#let this be a sign for anyone to come into my ask box and pick my brain #meta dissertations.pdf #kind of?#fandom.rtf

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absolutely-esme · 9 months

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I've been enjoying sharing some of my headcanons, so I thought I might share some little tweaks I like to make to canon when I think up possible fics.

Most of these are not exactly headcanons. These are actual changes to what happened, or interpretations different enough from the view presented that it feels like a change. They don't alter the overall flow of events much. They are mostly just changing little things that bug me into things I like better.

When Danny is talking about his situation in the first episode, Sam doesn't spontaneously switch to complaining about her parents mid-sentence. She stays on the topic of Danny's very serious and potentially existential problem, but her advice on the matter is still influenced by her relationship with her own parents.

Sam is still going through her "not like other girls" phase, but is not correct about other girls. Paulina is a whole human being with her own internal life. Girls with more traditionally feminine interests are not vapid caricatures. This primarily manifests by changing or getting rid of some bits of dialog/actions driven entirely by stereotypes.

In the episode with the dance and the dragon amulet, Paulina didn't say yes to Danny because she wanted to steal Sam's boyfriend as petty revenge for an insult. Sam calling her shallow in a creative and scathing way in front of everyone made her feel self-conscious. She felt the need to prove that she wasn't shallow; she could give the weird kid a chance.

Tucker's reason for wishing for ghost powers is not just envy. Sure that's part of it; superpowers are cool. That's not all, however. Tucker and Danny have been been friends for years. They shared everything and presumably faced everything together. Now Danny is fighting battles that Tucker can't fight alongside him. Sure, Tucker is there and helps however he can, but Danny is the only super-powered heavy hitter on the team. When he's out there grappling with some kind of nightmare monster, Tucker is on the sidelines watching him take hits and hating it. His best friend is suffering, and he's not in the trenches with him.

In the episode where Desiree makes it so that Sam never met Danny and Tucker (and Danny never became a halfa), Sam doesn't immediately set about trying to re-ghostify Danny or change his ghost form purely for her own preference. Both of these things kind of creep me out because they involve imposing on another person in a way that feels like it should merit at least some hesitation.

Upon realizing what has happened, Sam initially decides to try and deal with the ghosts herself. She needs ghost-hunting tech, and the only place to get that is the Fentons. She tries to be sneaky, but Danny notices and realizes something is up. Unfortunately, a lot of Fenton tech is less effective without Danny fixing it, and Sam is working with human limitations like the inability to fly or pass through solid objects, and even if she caught Desiree, there wouldn't be a working portal to send her through. It's not working.

Ultimately, she decides to recreate the accident, this time with her instead of Danny. Danny and Tucker catch her in the lab and confront her (because they were suspicious of this weird girl who started sneaking into Danny's house right when all this other weird stuff started happening, and they want to know what's going on). Sam is incredibly stressed after trying to deal with all this alone while simultaneously losing her two closest friends and ends up spilling everything.

Danny decides to become half-ghost again. Not because Sam dressed up in pink and wore different makeup up for him. Not because he wanted the pretty girl to like him. This person cared enough about him and his best friend that she was willing to let them go for their own sakes, even if it meant she was going to miss them. She tried so hard to protect everyone alone. She was willing to die in his place. He didn't want to let her. He also didn't want to stand on the sidelines knowing there was something he could have done, that he could have protected everyone and chose not to.

Tucker and Sam both argue against it.

Sam says something to the effect of "You're not dying because of me again!" Turns out, she's been harboring some guilt over the accident. Danny says that it's not because of her and he's making his own choice.

Tucker doesn't want his best friend to get hurt in a way that will permanently change him. If he can't talk him out of it, he at least doesn't want him doing it alone. Danny points out that they only really know that Danny can survive this. It's entirely possible that growing up exposed to ectoplasm makes a difference. The risk would be higher for Tucker and Sam.

They all argue a lot more, before settling on a course of action.

The DP symbol was something Sam had previously designed at Danny's request. He hoped that something that would make him look more like a superhero would help him be viewed a little more positively. However, they hadn't been able to figure out how to add it to his ghost form. Once she realizes she's not going to be able to change his mind, she offers to add it to his suit before he goes in. She still has the vinyl decals in her backpack. One of them mistakenly made with black material instead of white.

Rather than wishing everything back to normal during the fight, Sam simply wishes for her friends to remember her.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #paulina sanchez

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white-poppie · 2 years

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Fairytale

Character pairing: S. Ryomen x Gn! reader Genre: Fluff to Angst Rating: 11+ Warnings: death, crying, implicit mentions of sex, gore, mentions of prostitution and human sacrifice

Song recommendation: Fairytale by Alexander Rybak

Vocabulary:

Kagami: Mirror|| Hitobashira: Human Sacrifice|| Onsen: Hot spring || Seinaru mizu: Holy Water

(I altered it up a bit more for the sake of this fic, please note that I am not appropriating any culture or mocking it. It is in fact a fic set in ancient Japan therefore I included some elements from Japanese culture for authenticity.)

Jujutsu Kaisen (呪術廻戦)

The king of curses received many human offerings every year. Quivering and pathetic humans, agreeing to whatever he wants. He keeps them until they satiate his needs and then he simply kills them. He get bored of them, very easily.

Meek little preys closing their eyes like pigeons in front of cats, having no will or resistance.

What was different about you? You were a prisoner of war, brought from far lands, a delicacy for only the best. Like gods are offered cattle, the king of curses gets humans.

You were a starved little thing, grimy skin was scrubbed by the same people who had held you captive, making you look presentable as an offering, how atrocious.

Your calves were kicked as you force-kneeled in front of him, an unamused look was etched onto his face. You were as good as a Hitobashira, except in this case this was for no god, it was for a being far too sinister.

As soon as the others left so you could get some ‘privacy’, you took out the ornament in your hair, aiming in directly at your throat.

“Oh, what do you we have here?” he muttered through his thick pronunciation, using words that were not even used anymore. He was old, far older than you could imagine.

“Let me rest in peace,” you whispered.

“Why so, little one?”

“I have seen the face of war, too much death in one life-time, I am tired; I know you would kill me after using me, why not just end it now? At least I won’t have to bow to the monster who’s hands are stained with the blood of my people.”

He chucked and grabbed your wrist in an instance, “looks like I will be keeping you for a while.”

The first time Sukuna was drawn towards you, it was out of preference.

You had found berries from the wild and ran towards him holding a few in your tiny palms. “What’s this?” He asked, scowling.

You gulped in fear realizing how inappropriate that was of you, “m-my king...I must have been out o..of my mind t..to have disturbed you fo..for such a trivial matter.”

“No, I am asking you just got me these many?”

You whipped your head up at him, “p-pardon?”

He extended his much larger palm, gesturing to hand him the berries, you slowly slide them on his, it was scary how the berries you were struggling to carry in two hand, fit in his one hand. He popped one berry into his mouth, relishing the taste.

“Next time take a basket, remember this, I have quite the liking for berries.”

The second time Sukuna was drawn towards you, it was out of jester.

Another curse had a talk with Sukuna, you were sitting in his shrine, reading through some scriptures, while also attending to his needs, you disliked the job.

His eyes suddenly fell at you, licking his lips he spoke, “my lord, why must you keep such a low ranked courtesan for yourself, I can bring some very high level prostitutes for you, and perhaps you can give this one...to me, I will find a good use for them.”

Sukuna scrunched his eyebrows, “I am content with them besides theyare not a Yūjo, they is more of an errand runner.”

He clicked his tongue, “such a shame, they might not be the prettiest, but the brothels could use them, vixens are of the highest value.”

He walked towards you, snatching the scriptures from you, “you are quite ugly from up close.”

“You must be looking at a kagami,” you said with a kind smile. Sukuna chortled at your ministration.

The curse growled at you and tugged at your hair harshly, you tried to claw his hand, but you were no sorcerer.

In the next few seconds, Sukuna had the curse’s arm severed, “How dare you touch my things, you pitiful curse!”

“Walk in shame now, show the entire country that you had your armed severed for touching what belonged to the king of curses!”

The third time Sukuna knew he was drawn towards you, it was because of your courage.

Sukuna was cruel, but not wicked. He knew that humans make mistakes and learn from them, he used to let go of his servants with a quick warning when they made a mistake once or twice, but third time?

You should be on your knees begging for mercy if you had made the same mistake thrice in front of the king of curses.

Sukuna needed his baths warm. As warm as an Onsen’s water, nothing more, nothing less,

“Your highness, please forgive me! This is the last time! I would never let this happen again!” The old woman pleaded, tears forming like pearls in her eyes.

Sukuna had cursed energy radiating from him, the sensation was so heavy that it could make the vapour in air to rain.

Before you could think you were kneeling in front of him, “Your grace, it is my fault to not have supervised the bath, I am as guilty as her, besides she is growing old, her skin is loosing her touch, I will make sure this never happens; I beg you, let go of her.”

“I am not sure if you are brave or just stupid, do wish to die?”

You kept quiet shivering in fear.

“Answer me!” his voice boomed through the shrine.

“No your highness, but I don’t want her to die either. I would much rather die than someone who’s only fault is aging with time.”

Sukuna growled and picked you up from your collar, a mere leaf trembling in wind for him. It was the first time he saw a mortal defending another in a clearly disadvantageous situation. What peculiar creatures, humans truly were!

“I expect my baths to warmer this time, brat.”

The first time Sukuna was starting to being ‘attracted’ towards you, it was because of your gentleness.

The way your eyes would sparkle when you looked at the little doe in front of you. Letting it nudge your face with it’s nose. White spots on its brown back. Sukuna could see two innocent little preys.

He lay in a large daisy field, basking in the sunlight. You sat beside him and worked on making a flower crown.

“You have been working on this for a while now, what are you making?”

“Oh-its a flower crown your grace!” you giggled and wrapped the last flower around.

You looked at him, questiongly, not wanting to do anything that might upset him. He nodded.

You leaned in and placed the crown on his head, “a crown truly befitting the king of curses!”

Sukuna swore he could have felt his cold heart beat in eons, the icy and scabbarded thing he thought was incapable of experiencing human emotions.

The second time Sukuna was starting to being ‘attracted’ towards you, it was because you were not afraid of him.

Sukuna stumbled in his shrine, body littered with cuts. He had turned into his true form for a war, the four-armed, two faced demon. Ginormous in size and the brute strength that followed.

“Sukuna-san?” you whispered shakily. He was sure that you would run away now, call him a monster, that would just give him all more reasons to paint the walls of his shrine with human blood again.

“You...are-” say it Y/N, go on, “-hurt!” You scampered out of the room, making him freeze. Had you run away?

You came back with some clean cloth and bowl of water and mortar and pestle.

He sat back on his throne. You leaned down and took his hand in yours, carefully cleaning the cut.

“You are not scared of me?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“I am scared of you, but not because of your form, rather it is due to your poweress. I am as scared of you now as I am when you are in your vessel.”

Sukuna realized that he doesn’t have to hide his true form in front of you then.

The third time Sukuna knew he was attracted towards you was due to lust.

Lust wasn’t a feeling the king of curses had ever felt. Broken mortals seeking refuge in his arms, only for him to break them even more and then dispose them when he got bored. He never felt this infatuation before.

Sukuna was aware that he was taller, bulkier and far greater than any other human. It never really affected him, until he realized how...petite you are as compared to him.

The way his single hand was bigger than your face itself. Oh how delicate! He swore he felt something predatorial in him swirl.

He wanted to keep yourself just for him, protect your innocent and pure soul from the outside world.

He wanted to worship you, build temples on your body with the caverns of his mouth; to make sure both of you were equally drowned in pleasure. He wanted to carve a permanent seat for you, under him. He wanted to wrap you around him and devour you. He knew he wanted to be the one to corrupt you.

And so he did.

Sukuna never knew what salvation was until he met you, he experienced human emotions with you like the seven colours of the rainbow, bursting suddenly and...evaporating easily.

The first time Sukuna knew he was in love with you, was unfortunately too late of a realization.

“Sukuna-san!” you disturbed him from his slumber.

“The villagers are out with fire, they are going to burn the shrine!” you shouted.

Sukuna walked out of his room, his kimono dipped down his shoulders till his pelvic bone. He hissed as he felt the ground burn under his feet while you stood without any problem.

It didn’t take long for you to realize what they were planning, “My lord the fire was a distraction! They sprinkled seinaru mizu around the shrine!”

“We will have to get you out of here!” you panicked, “please escape through the back, I will say that you weren’t in the shrine!”

“And make them think that the king of curses is a coward? Let me handle it, go hide. Even if anything goes wrong, don’t you dare come out!”

“But-”

“No buts,” he ordered, his hand cupping your cheek, “go now.” And so you nodded and escaped through the back and hid in the now dry daisy fields, you could only hear muffled sounds of the commotion.

A guttural scream pierced through the air, your breath hitched; you knew it wasn’t Sukuna’s but the sound was so painful. A light smell of Burning gawked in on your senses, the field had been set to fire, drawn in a circle, you had no where to run. The flames kept on getting closer and closer, you could taste the smoke on the tip of your tongue.

“Sukuna!” you shouted, but your scream was nothing compared the sounds of war.

The flames englufed you, you thrashed around in pain, helplessly calling him to save you.

When Sukuna had finally killed everyone, his eyes met with the fire.

“Y/N?” he called out and upon wearing a low rumble of his name he rushed towards the flames. His body burnt yet he thrust forward to find you.

Around the centre of the patch he saw you, who was covered in red and brown burns. Your face was contorted into something painful.

He could work with that! All he needed was for you to be alive! He shook your body and carefully picked you up to carry you back in the shrine.

He gently poured cold water on you, patting your face to wake you up.

His long fingers picked your hand and tried to find a pulse, there was none. His lip trembled and he got up.

The whole village faced his wrath that day. Men, women and children all were slaughtered. He sat on top of the their bodies and grieved, that scabbard heart was no longer beating.

Year 2019

Sukuna was experiencing the world again. This time not through his body, but from the body of his vessel, Itadori Yuuji.

He saw Yuuji looking at the direction of a voice.

“Huah? So you are telling me that boy is the vessel of the king of curses, Sukuna?”

The lady chuckled and walked close his vessel, examining him, “I am Y/N, L/N nice to meet you!”

“By the way can Sukuna-san hear us talking right now?”

“Yes I can, brat,” he answered.

“Woah! That’s so cool!” you replied, your eyes literary glimmering, “nice to meet you too king of curses!”

Sukuna didn’t need any other reminder to make sure that was you. It was the name and the voice. So the scriptures about reincarnations were true, huh? Those goddamn gods really loved to torment him.

You were his fairytale. Something that made his crooked self warm. You stood here again, in front of his eyes, this time, he won’t let you go.

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Jujutsu Kaisen (呪術廻戦) masterlist

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#⎯𝒿𝒿𝓀⋆#sukuna #ryomen #jujutsu kaisen ryomen #ryomen sukuna #jjk x reader #sukuna smut #sukuna fluff #sukuna angst #ryomen angst #ryomen fluff #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x femreader #jjk x fem!reader #jjk oneshot #white poppie🌼

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canadiansummer · 1 year

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SFW ALPHABET

Pairing: Dmitri Antonov x Reader / Enzo x Reader Summary: What it says on the tin. Warnings: Mild angst for some questions and some really mild suggestiveness. It’s pretty chill for the most part. Note: Gender neutral reader, or at least gender’s not emphasized. I’m also trying out a new formatting style that I picked up on another blog of mine that I like, but anyway. I wanted to put something out since I’m swamped in coursework and I’ve been meaning to get back to my long-fic on here. I’m pretty sure these lists have been done before, but I have my own headcanons so why not. Of course, these are my opinions so your milage may vary. I also altered some questions since I didn’t like/vibe with them. This can also be taken as a reader-insert, though sometimes I use ‘you’ in a non-specific way. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! The spicer version will be up in a day or so!

18+ version (coming soon.)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s more affectionate than his first impressions might make him seem. Early into knowing him, he might be a little distant physically, but eventually he might get more comfortable with showing affection. In a platonic sense, he tends to go for quick pats–a hand on a shoulder as he passes, throwing his arm around a shoulder if he’s feeling playful, a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder if he’s trying to be comforting. In a romantic sense, he can be pretty affectionate. Especially in private. Pulling you in for a kiss by a piece of clothing, hugs, lingering touches and caresses. Though, regardless, he’s a little awkward about PDA and is more reserved on that front.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Loyal, a kind of ride-or-die type of person. Dmitri’s lost a lot of friends and family over the years for various reasons, and his parents both had hard upbringings and lost a lot of people. While he isn’t exactly icy about it, letting someone in close to him is hard for him at points. So, if you end up in a ‘best friend’ situation, Dmitri has definitely opened up to you and trusts you deeply. While he’s not prone to coddling or is the best shoulder to cry on at points, he’s a very solid friend and he’s there for you in ways that matter.

As for how that friendship would start, it would start kind of slow unless a situation makes that unlikely. He’s kind of charming, witty in a pretty dry sort of way, and can hold a conversation decently enough. Dmitri isn’t bad company, but he’d end up being the type of person you’d see and talk to every once and a while. That is, until you manage to catch him in a moment of free and stress-free time and once he realizes he likes your company too, he’d start to go out of his way to interact and things would progress from there.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

As much as he’d struggle to admit it, yeah. It kind of ties into how he is with affection, so he’d be more prone to do so in private. Having your weight at his side while sitting beside you or you leaning back into him can be comforting for him. He doesn’t really acknowledge it or even fully grasp the feeling for what it is, but solitude is something he’s become very numb to. So, it is often a nice reminder of how nice it can be to have someone he can actually be like that with.

As for how, it depends. If it’s upright, he’ll rest his arm over your shoulders or upper back and likes it when you lean your head on his shoulder. Dmitri’s got restless hands, though, so he might end up playing with bits of your clothing (strings, zippers, ect) or hair as he does so. Laying down/sleeping he tends to prefer to be the big spoon, starting out with an arm wrapped around your middle and legs tangled with your own so your back is pressed against his chest. Though, once he’s fallen asleep, he either ends up rolling onto his back or just kind of slings an arm over your middle.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? What would that look like?)

Yes, in the long run. Though, he wouldn’t fully know what that would look like. All he knows is that he’d like to be doing a different profession and be able to be more involved with his son, otherwise a lot of it would end up being compromises with you. While he certainly wants/needs money, it’s mostly so he can leave (be that the life he currently lives or his home country in general) but in the long run he just wants to live somewhere calm (and preferably where the government isn’t watching your every move, but y’know.)

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Face-to-face. If it comes to a point where things are unsalvageable, he’s definitely made that known beforehand and has tried to fix things. He’d end up hating himself if he broke things off over the phone or something, as painful the process would be in person.

F = Fights (What are arguments like with them? How do they resolve disagreements/fights? What are some things they would have a hard time forgiving?)

Dmitri’s temper is pretty slow-building–if anything, he seems pretty calm if not a little biting and it can be a surprise if he gets physical. He definitely has had his moments, though with loved ones he tries to avoid physical confrontations and has tried to break people apart if he senses that fists might be swung between family/friends. If you were to get into an argument with him, Dmitri kind of closes off. Tight expression and body language, clipped answers, bitter sarcasm before trying to distance himself or physically leave for a while if he’s able.

As for resolving issues, if it’s something he is solely at blame for, he’ll try to approach it and talk about things when tensions aren’t running so high. If it’s something you’re both at fault for, it can be a little more difficult to navigate but in the end he just wants it resolved because the stress will get to him after a while. If left alone for too long, it’ll shift into bitterness and/or resentment and he doesn’t want that.

In regards to what he finds unforgivable, that can be a bit of a gray area. He’s done his fair share of morally questionable/objectionable things in his life, and he would be way too aware how hypocritical it would be of him to get on a high horse about some things. Yet, he has lines he doesn’t want crossed. Harm to him or his family is pretty major, he won’t stay in a relationship with someone who’s cheated on him, etc. His forgiveness could be earned in some situations, but others he would struggle to let go of.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

This can be another sort of gray area, given his (former) profession but one-on-one he’s more gentle than you think. He won’t really treat anybody like they’re made of glass, but he has his moments of genuine tenderness both physically and emotionally. Yet, it can depend on the situation. If it’s clear you’re under some sort of emotional distress, he’s not going to go out of his way to make that worse and he’ll try to be as gentle as he can be. That can be echoed physically, too, unless the situation doesn’t allow him the time.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

(I’m going to sound like a broken record but–) It depends. Sudden hugs from strangers or aquaintances that he doesn’t know well, he wouldn’t be a huge fan of being hugged by them. Though, with people he’s close to, he actually doesn’t mind them and will usually return them. In a platonic sense, he doesn’t mind a quick one in greeting, but if you’re in a deeper relationship with him then him initiating them might be a little more common.

In general, his hugs are tight. Not rib crushing, but enough to not make you feel like he’s waiting for it to end. Gives your shoulder(s) a shake when he parts if it’s a particularly excited one. If you’re seeking comfort from him, he’ll hold you closer to him, a hand on the back of your head or just wrapped around your shoulders. If he’s seeking comfort from you, Dmitri acts more reluctant and almost embarrassed he’s putting you in that situation, but he’ll relax almost as soon as you return the embrace and hold you tight. Probably doesn’t say anything for a good while.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes him a while. Dmitri married quickly before he really understood if he actually loved his wife at the time or not, and he’s not too inclined to repeat that. So, once he ends up saying it, he means it and it’s probably after a good while into your relationship.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

His jealousy is a lot like his anger, though he’s not prone to jealousy too often. However, he definitely has his moments. It’s not to point where he’d lash out or try to ruin anything, but he gets quiet and closed off. He doesn’t say much if you interact with him and he can get pretty agitated when he can’t leave the situation. Eventually it fades and he’ll shake it off as him being childish, but from time to time he might get a little peeved or, if you’re in a private and more intimate relationship, he might make it hard for you to pay attention to anybody other than him for a bit…

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Firm, confident. He cups the sides of your face/head while he does so, especially if it’s just a quick one. Sensual ones are slower, more drawn out and he likes to pull/hold you close to him. He tends to go for your lips, naturally, but he enjoys kissing your neck and will kiss the back of your shoulders, shoulder blades, or along the spine if your back is to him. On him, Dmitri really likes to be kissed along the jaw, below his ear or down his neck. If you want his attention, that’s a good way to get it. Sometimes, he doesn’t mind being kissed on the chest, palm/hand, or shoulders.

L = Little ones (How are they around children? Would they want one(s) of their own?)

He’s pretty decent around children, and younger children he entertains pretty easily enough. Dmitri enjoys it in short-term interactions, but he wouldn’t exactly want to run a daycare out of his home. Given his experience with Mikhail, he’s at least somewhat familiar with being around a child and is more relaxed than he was in the first month or so after his son’s birth. Older children/teenagers is where he struggles, though, and feels intimidated from time to time (and would rather take that admission to his grave.)

As for wanting more of his own, Dmitri’s pretty happy with Mikhail. Given him having to leave him behind while he fled to America, he would be too focused on getting him to safety to really think about having another. When things are settled, though? Maybe!

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them? What is it like to wake up with them?)

Dmitri’s an early riser, it’s rare that you wake up and he’s not already awake or starting to wake up. If there’s nothing to do, he might stay in bed with you, even if he doesn’t fully fall back asleep. However, if there’s something to be done, he can get a little too restless to just lay around for too long. Catch him in the right moment, though, he’ll probably be open to cuddle in bed for a while before he has to shower and get up fully. Mornings can be particularly restless, so he can be a little hard to convince to lay around for a bit.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them? What is it like falling asleep with them?)

Usually it’s relaxed dinners (unless the situation says otherwise) and he’s more likely to spend more quality time with you at night. Unless he’s just exhausted, but even then he might hold out until he can pull you to bed with him. Pillow talk is pretty common and he takes the time to catch up with you or gets pulled into a prolonged conversation. As the night drags on, he gets more cuddly and kind of space-y, and loses his train of thought pretty often once he gets tired enough. At that point, he probably just pulls you into him and mutters his goodnight, leaving you to drift off or listen to his breathing even out.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It takes a while for Dmitri to really open up about himself, and most of the time you get to know him in bits and pieces. He picked that up from his family, considering even as an adult he still doesn’t know a ton about his parents or his family line, even though I headcanon that both are still alive. However, it’s definitely a sign of trust if he starts talking about himself at length, especially if he dips into childhood, his time in the military, etc. He’s more prone to listen to other people’s stories than he is to share his own. So, it takes a while before you hear more personal details about him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

While he doesn’t exactly have the patience of a saint, he is not all that quick to anger. He’s learned how to act that way, but in reality it takes a genuine effort to actually piss him off. There are a few buttons he doesn’t like pushed, but it can be hard to move him from scoffs and sarcasm to his quiet anger.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Dmitri’s a details guy, but he’s not exactly a walking encyclopedia of knowledge on the people he knows in his life. He definitely remembers the important stuff, the deeper conversations, but sometimes he may forget something in passing or get a detail about it wrong. However, he does remember an impressive amount of details about certain people, memories, etc.

R = Romance (How romantic are they naturally? Is it part of their personality or do they have to try? Do they have any specific love languages?)

Dmitri’s not exactly a born romantic, but he’s certainly charismatic enough and he definitely puts some thought into any romantic gestures. He’s primarily a ‘physical touch’ person when it comes to love language, which does clash with both a sort of insecurity in him about that along with a bit of a cultural thing that he picked up from his mother and father. From time to time, you may know he’s actively trying to be romantic, but other times it might just happen as he goes.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s pretty protective, though not exactly overbearing. If it’s clear that you’ve got yourself in a situation that could turn sour or dangerous, he isn’t likely to just stand back and watch. More often than not, he’ll try to get between you and another person/group, but he’s also willing to back you up if you need him to. As for how he wants to be protected, he doesn’t really want to be in any specific way. He’s very appreciative of support and assistance if he needs it, but he’s a little too headstrong in a certain way to let himself hide behind you or anybody else.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Dmitri definitely tries to put effort into the things he does, especially if he’s doing them for you. His dates are usually thought out unless it’s just a casual night out, and he definitely carries over the same energy for anniversaries. Any gifts he gives tend to be more on the practical side over flashy/showy. Not only does he enjoy knowing that you’d get continued use out of a gift, he’s also used to those types of gifts from his upbringing and he’s found the value in them. If he gifts you something, it’s guaranteed he’s thought about it beforehand.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Well, his smoking is gonna catch up to him in his later years if it hasn’t already. If we’re talking personality or lifestyle habits, Dmitri can oversell his confidence in a situation and it can lead to poor judgment of character or missing red flags that he always kicks himself over in hindsight. He can be overly biting in his remarks if he’s angry and can be a little rough with his teasing/sarcasm, which is usually him not feeling the room or situation before speaking.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not overly so? He does groom himself and takes care of his appearance to an extent, but there were plenty of points in his life where he couldn’t really afford to put much thought into his appearance. Plus, he’s worked mostly in places where he’s wearing a uniform, so he’s not really cared too much about clothing style and hasn’t explored much until he has the time and freedom to do so. However, he does maintain his facial hair and his hair in general.

W = Wedding (Would they pop the question first? How do they feel about marriage?)

Yes, possibly. Again, if he’s even thinking along those lines, he’s probably been in a relationship for a good while and is sure where he stands with his feelings. Though, you could take him off guard and ask first if you wanted, but with his experience in jumping too soon into a marriage he might be put on the spot. Dmitri is not bitter about the prospect of marriage, and while he’s lived for a while with the idea that he might not end up married again, it hasn’t left him cynical all that much. Of course, his previous relationship has complications, but if the feelings are there then he may be open to getting married again.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

All the books Dmitri got smuggled in that are in English are written all over by him–seemingly disjointed notes in Cyrillic in the margins, underlined and circled words in the text, etc. This is because he used them a lot when teaching himself English, as finding someone to speak it with was a challenge most of the time. It took him a lot of time and patience to get his fluency to where it is.

So, all of this to say, if you wanted to learn how to speak his native language, expect writing to feature pretty heavily. Though, he’d be a patient teacher.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Dmitri isn’t prone to staying in overly toxic relationships–if there’s more fighting than he can handle, he won’t stay and will break it off. He values confrontation and airing issues so they can be settled, but if nothing changes, he just figures he’s not a good match. Given the tension he’d experience in America during this time period, hostility and suspicion doesn’t get you far with him. Jealousy can be a hit or miss, as he can understand it to a degree, but it might eventually bleed into the first bit about fighting and incompatibility.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

If given the choice, Dmitri tends to settle into sleeping on his stomach, pillow over his head or his arm curled under it. If it’s comfortable for you, he doesn’t mind you using his back or shoulders as a pillow or you resting against him in that position. He can be a light sleeper sometimes, but the closeness can be comforting to him sometimes.

#dmitri antonov x reader #enzo x reader

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p5x-theories · 3 months

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What We Know About Okyann

(as of the third beta; last updated 1/23/24!)

Kayo Tomiyama, codename Okyann, is a 44 year-old housewife, and family friend of Wonder's who is very talkative. She joins the team as a "Phantom Idol", or cognitive teammate.

Notably, Kayo's design changed drastically between the first and second betas- in the first beta, this was her appearance:

Her Japanese voice actress is Atsuko Tanaka.

Kayo is a Confidant of Wonder’s, though her Arcana is unknown.

In the story, Kayo appears on three separate occasions. The first time, she runs into Wonder in front of his house as he's heading to school, and gushes about how he's grown up so handsome since she last saw him, and mentions Wonder's mother. She goes on to talk about how her "Darling" also went to Kokatsu Academy, and mentions the directions to get there. She eventually lets Wonder leave and head to school.

The second time, she comes across Wonder in Shibuya, shortly after he's returned from going to Kiuchi's Palace for the first time. When he asks her about a crafting table (which he needs to make infiltration tools), she mentions there's a secondhand shop in Yongen-Jaya that might have one, and rambles on a bit more before continuing on her way.

The third time is again on Wonder's way to school, where she asks about his health. She fusses over this, and brings up the problem with phantoms, saying she'd have some more peace of mind if she knew he had medicine, recommending Tae Takemi's clinic in Yongen-Jaya to him. After a moment, she admits she doesn't actually know what medicine would help with phantoms, or much about them in general.

Kayo is very friendly and outgoing, seeming to be the type that loves to chat and gossip (even to her friend's son, if he happens to be nearby). She seems attached to her "Darling" (likely her husband), and mentions him in at least two of the three conversations you have with her in the second beta, as well as in one of her Confidant events, where she shows Wonder a picture of herself and her Darling when they were younger.

Translated information mentions that she used to be a fashionista when she was younger, and her phantom thief attire and attitude seems to suggest she was specifically a gyaru, as Okyann's hairstyle, darkened skin tone, manner of speech, cellphone decoration, and dancing are all directly associated with gyaru.

Her Persona is Cleodora (based on a water nymph with the gift of prophecy in Greek mythology), and functions as a navigator.

While she doesn't strictly have a melee or ranged weapon as a navigator, P5X does have tools that the navigators use for their abilities, also obtained through the weapon gacha, and hers are flip phones.

There's also some information from the game data that may be spoilers, so I'm putting it under a cut.

A Shadow Kayo 3D model was found in the second and third betas' files, along with pieces for her Shadow's portraits in all three betas' files. It's likely she is a future Palace ruler (unless her first beta "original design" has been split into another character) though it's unknown when her Palace will come up in-game if so. Her first beta "original design" may actually have been an altered version of her Shadow's model and portraits.

First beta Kayo portrait with the corresponding Shadow version:

Shadow Kayo's 3D model:

#character info #third beta #okyann #cleodora

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cyber-cry-baby · 8 months

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Miasma Pt. 20 "Alkaline"

Caustic x fem reader Words: ~1100 Warnings: slight smut! A/N: thank you so much for reading my first ever fic! I will definitely keep writing Apex fics. All feedback is welcome! <3 (Also, as I said before: Alkaline is a perfect Caustic song

Previous chapter

youtube

You stood on the beach, the sea washing over your ankles. The past night had been... chaotic. The sea offered some solace, making your mind a bit more relaxed. Perhaps you even felt a little lighter. You were truly free from all that mess now.

You knew you had seen this beach once in a dream. That dream was about Alexander. Back when all of this had begun. You couldn't help falling in love, even though it all had a terrible ending. But everyone was right. Here, you shouldn't develop feelings, or at least let them get in your way. Now, there was nothing in your way. This week's games would be victorious; you could feel it.

Success loomed in the future, and you'd meet your own assistant very soon. You were so far ahead now that the number of games and practices was increasing. You might not have felt the need for your assistant yet, but perhaps your thoughts would be more focused on the game and improvement, and you might need some help. You would probably spend more time in your workroom now than in the Lounge, drunk, and then in the laboratory. You smirked to yourself. Those times were behind you. It was time to focus on what truly mattered.

You closed your eyes and wanted to dwell in the past one more time. But only in the good parts. The future would bring a lot of progress and victories, but your time here had already been full of good things. Friends and success. And Alexander... maybe he wasn't what you thought, but you hoped you hadn't imagined everything completely. Or even if you had, you wanted to hold onto the good he had brought. At first, he had been cold towards you and wanted you to leave him alone. That was the real him. His sudden warmth was just to spite Syndicate through you. Still, you wanted to believe there was something genuine in it.

Alexander Nox was busy in his laboratory as usual. He had succeeded in his plan once again. But only partially. Not everything had gone as he had planned.

At first, he had regarded you as just another new legend who didn't impress him. Soon he found out you were unusually skilled and smart for someone so young. Of course, you were beautiful in his eyes, no doubt about that. He just wasn't a very emotional man.

Then, you started appearing in front of him often, everywhere. In the gym, the elevator, the same team. Alexander couldn't figure out what fascinated him about you. He wanted to stay away from you because you were messing with his thoughts. He wanted to be harsh with you to deny the strange feelings within him.

Then came the opportunity to help you and be more involved with you. Why would he do that? Why would he take the chance to further confuse himself with your presence? Because he wanted to. He made the most of the opportunity, observed your actions, and offered opportunities to come to his laboratory and "steal" his important files.

He had some need to protect you. To observe you. And when the opportunity arose to be intimate with you, he took it. As a rational person, he found it difficult to understand his own feelings, but he enjoyed every moment. He enjoyed knowing that you would appear at his laboratory door.

But now it was over. He had completed his mission and helped you. But he didn't want to tell you that. It was easier to claim that he did it to spite Syndicate. It was easier to stay cold. He wouldn't need to protect you anymore, and it would all be over. Something inside him had altered. And you were the one who had changed him.

And he couldn't hate himself for it anymore. Was it his turn to come to your door

You sat on your bed, jotting down notes in your calendar. You were determined to take work seriously now and planned your week's schedule. Until you heard a knock on your door. You stared at the door in surprise. No one ever knocked on your door. Who could it be? You opened the door and couldn't believe your eyes. Alexander. He stood there, looking lost, and you just stared, unable to say a word. Your heart immediately started beating faster.

"Y-yes...?" you asked, but your voice broke.

"I am the one who is the fool, Y/N. I manage to observe everything... but myself. The biggest trap is always your own mind", you looked at him in confusion, and you both stayed silent for a moment. You really didn't know what he meant.

"I've developed feelings for you. I don't want you to think that I used you. I want you to be well. I don't usually care about people's hatred, but I hope you don't hate me."

You furrowed your brow and tilted your head to better understand. Was he serious? You observed his actions. You couldn't think of a reason why he would stand at your door lying about something like this.

"You used the word love", Alexander suddenly said, and you looked away, embarrassed. "I don't hope for your love, I hope... for forgiveness. But... it felt good to hear it. I don't deserve it", he stumbled.

"I shouldn't have said it. You were right; we shouldn't let such strong feelings get in the way here", you said softly. Suddenly, Alexander gently lifted your face with his hand.

"Don't apologize", he said, looking into your eyes. You both gazed at each other for a moment that felt like an eternity. "We're both fools", he continued and leaned down to kiss you.

You responded to the kiss passionately. A wave of pleasure swept over you. You pulled him inside your apartment, inhaling his scent. You kissed his lips and wrapped both your hands around his neck, touching his face first as if to make sure he was really there. He settled on your bed, and you straddled his lap.

"We should have just stayed away from each other as you suggested", you whispered.

"I strongly disagree", Alexander groaned and threw you onto your back on the bed. He leaned down to kiss your neck. "I said, you're mine."

"You already said that in my dream – a long time ago", you said between kisses. Alexander touched every part of your body to prove his point. Yes, you were his. "Maybe we need this."

"I do need it, to be able to focus on my work again, at least for a while", Alexander slipped his hand into your pants. You felt his fingers teasing your most intimate area, and you moaned in ecstasy. "What are we, Alex, colleagues? Rivals? ...Lovers?" you asked with a grin before a wave of pleasure washed over you again, and you could only moan in response.

"All of the above."

Every once in a while, something changes And she's changing me It's too late for me now, I am altered There is something beneath She's not acid nor alkaline Caught between black and white Not quite either day or night She's perfectly misaligned I'm caught up in her design And how it connects to mine I see in a different light The objects of my desire Ooh, let's talk about chemistry 'Cause I'm dying to melt through To the heart of her molecules Till the particles part like holy water If anything, she's an undiscovered element Either born in Hell or heaven-sent Either way, I'm into it.

#caustic x y/n #apex caustic #miasma #apex legends #apex fanfic #alexander nox #alexander nox x reader #apex legends x reader

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multiplicity-positivity · 8 months

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our system is specutien (word we learned today from this blog! thank you very much! we thought we were invalid for having two hosts frontstuck 99.8% of the time) and for anyone who isn't those two people, it's really hard to front and discern what we're interested in or to try and find interests. this turns into a feedback loop where few people have positive triggers and so it's rare for other people to front with us because they don't have interests and don't know how to get them. do you have any advice for how to help on this? it's really difficult (and emotionally taxing) for me, as the frontstuck host, to try and relinquish enough control that my interests/tastes/etc. don't get in the way of that self discovery process. but it also sucks to have a bunch of people who exist but can't really talk to people in the outerworld because they don't have interests or even opinions on most topics. so.... we're wondering if you can help? as a fellow specutien system? (we also wonder if it would be easier for us to try and unstick ourselves if more of our headmates were, yknow, well-rounded)

Hi! We sure are specutien - our host doesn’t always sign off because he’s usually at least somewhat dissociated/disconnected from interacting with the real world, but he always is here at least to some extent!

We’re sorry y’all are going through something like this, but we do feel like it’s something many systems do struggle with! It can be so hard for frontstuck members to learn how to step back or give up control for the first time, and it can be even more difficult for members who don’t front often to figure out who they are and what they like! Our system went through something similar during our syscovery!

We do have a little template for folks to use who are interested in getting to know their system members - each headmate can feel free to fill it out at their leisure if they’re interested!

And this may sound weird, and others might disagree with this advice, but we’d like to share some thoughts on how y’all could go about learning more about each other, even with some members frontstuck all the time!

These frontstuck members might be able to learn more about the other headmates… by filling in information and fleshing out the rest of their system on behalf of their other members.

This means the frontstuck headmates could do things like make picrews for different members, think of what other headmates’ likes, dislikes, and interests might be, and do other things to help round out the other members! If they get anything wrong, or any member is uncomfortable with another headmate making decisions on their behalf, they could always speak up about it or change things later!

In our system we have some parts who never front. However, we still have picrews/a general idea of what they look like, and some basic information about them that these parts were never able to front and establish for themselves. If we’ve gotten anything wrong, they’ll usually reach out to tell us as such or at least send a vibe that we’ve made the wrong move. We’re working on building internal communication, and as our communication gets stronger, we’ve been able to learn more and more about the alters who at first we knew very little about!

If y’all are interested in finding more positive triggers to help bring specific members to the front, it might help to try making individual playlists for each member of the system! The frontstuck members can make playlists with music that reminds them of the different headmates, rather than choosing music that the headmates picked out themselves. Of course, if any headmate wants to have input on the music that goes in their playlist, they should feel welcomed to! This just provides a way for those who are frontstuck to try and create more opportunities for other members to front in the future!

I guess in general though, we’d say y’all should take your time with this and take things one day, one headmate, and one interest at a time! If you as a host start to feel exhausted or overwhelmed, y’all may need to take a step back from this process. And that’s okay! It’s important to take breaks and take care of your own physical and mental health while attempting to learn more about your system.

Also, in our opinion, your headmates don’t have to be very differentiated in order to be valid as system members and worthy of autonomy and respect. It’s okay for your headmates to just exist as they are - they don’t need to have a huge list of differences or things that make them unique in order for them to be valued and cherished as they are! Some systems don’t like for their members to be very different and well-rounded, and some systems genuinely just don’t work like that. So we guess it’s important for y’all to accept each other for who you are as you are now. If some headmates change naturally in the future, then great! If not, that’s okay too! What’s most important is that y’all are taking care of each other and looking after each other to the best of your abilities.

We hope this helps a little bit! Feel free to reach out if you have further questions… regardless, we’re wishing you and your headmates the very best in your future!

🌸 Margo and 💚 Ralsei

#specutien #frontstuck #long post #internal communication #differentiation #positive triggers

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itsaninfestation · 20 days

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🎭

Kylee woke up.

She had never awoken in a prefect sitting position before, but she supposed she had little choice in the matter when her hand and securely taped to the back of her dining chair.

Her head throbbed. She wanted to curse in pain, but the motion only revealed that her mouth was also duct taped.

"Well, good morning sleepy head! Or should I say, good evening? It's, like, 6pm." The voice was peppy and bright with a haunting hint of familiarity that sent chills up her spine.

Her vision was blurred from her skewed glasses made it difficult to properly see the brightly colored figure that approached her. The stranger chuckled and adjusted them for her.

The first thing Kylee noticed was the amber eyes that stared back at her through their own cat eye frames. The same eyes she saw in the mirror every morning.

Kylee let out a muffled cry of confusion. She could taste the adhesive on her lips.

"I know, weird, right?" The woman giggled as she pulled up the matching dining chair. She sat down with poise, ensuring that her pencil skirt did not wrinkle. "I was particularly confused when I arrived here. I wasn't supposed to dimension hop here. I was supposed to end up in a world where we don't exist, but c’est la vie."

The woman pauses a moment, looking upset, but that is quickly replaced with the same canned smile.

"Yes. I did say 'we', because we are the same person in a sense," she huffed and waved a manicured hand. He bright yellow nails flickered in the light. "Though I'm sure you know a thing or two about alternate dimensions since you keep close tabs on the X-Men of this world. So, we can simply say that I'm just a better version of you and just move on."

She did look like Kylee; if Kylee decided to bleach her hair blonde and wear the gaudiest clothes imaginable (she hated cheetah print)! The woman was every bad esthetic that she would have never picked. A twisted, colorful version of herself.

Emphasis on the 'twisted'; who the hell kidnapped a version of themselves instead of having a normal adult conversation?

(Scratch that; she could think of at least one.)

Kylee wanted to protest; she wriggled conformably as she tried to mumble through the tape.

"...No, I'm not going to un-tape your mouth; I'm not an idiot. I just establish that I'm you. That includes powers. Powers that you never truly tapped into; I might add."

Kylee cocked her head.

This time that alter-Kylee smiled a genuine, terrifying smile that showcased her large front teeth.

"'Bugging' people is only the bare basics of what we can do," shed slid her chair closer to Kylee -- close to the point of uncomfortable. "Did you know we infiltrate a human body; that we can taint their soul with a piece of our own and bring out their worst insecurities? I can even tap into my little beauties while they are separated from me. I can use them to manipulate a person's body. A person's mind, like the psychics we both hate."

She laughed a truly joyous laugh.

"The Betsy Braddock of my world learned very quickly that there is more than one way to get into someone's mind. She may have had control of the metaphysical, but she could not touch the literal bug crawling inside her brain... She will never read minds again."

"Don't worry, I won't kill you or make you braindead."

Alter-Kylee's voice echoed through her head. Her head pounded with each word.

"I actually would like to be your friend! You can even think of me as a twin sister if you want; I'd like that!"

"I'd hate for things to go south between us. That's why I had to show you who the superior Kylee was first, to prevent any unnecessary squabble.

Fuck, in another world she was a psychopath.

"Psychopath is a bit of a strong word. No, I'm not insane. I'm just ...assertive."

The woman gently danced her fingers on the tape that covered Kylee's mouth.

"What do you say, sis?"

#rp prompts #ask me anything #positivelybeastly #I couldn't help but make her own Dark Beast #especially since you asked

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fromriches-tosin · 1 year

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hi could you recommend some anime? pls🥺

hello kk! of course 💜

I'm going to list some titles I watched and liked the most this past year. If you're looking for some specific genre/vibe, do let me know and I'll try to come up with a more coherent list, hehe. I put links to trailers under the titles:

Jujutsu Kaisen The first anime I watched after a very, very long break — however, I started with the prequel movie (Jujutsu Kaisen 0) that had been released after the first season (S2 coming this year). It's a typical humans with powers vs. demons scenario, but it lacks the usual main character vs. main bad boy rivalry trope, instead introducing a very heartwarming and, ultimately, heartbreaking friendship. The characters are awesome and the animation itself is absolutely gorgeous. Even though I'm a big fan of the rough 90s style (DBZ, Berserk etc.), I fell in love with the JJK aesthetics. If you want to give it a try, the movie is definitely worth watching.

Chainsaw Man Another take on the whole demon fighting thing, but it’s different and darker from what JJK has to offer. The very concept of this series might seem funny (the main character has a chainsaw on his head most of the time), but in truth it's a pretty disgusting and heartbreaking story about debasement and fragility of human life. It hits all the right spots. One word I could use to describe this series is psychedelic. I love the animation and the soundtrack has some real bangers. There's only one season out so far.

Attack on Titan I doubt there is anyone who hasn't heard about AOT, but no matter how many people recommended it to me in the past, I just couldn't get around to watching it. Now I know that it was advertised to me in a wrong way — which, ultimately, was a blessing in disguise. I thought it's a typical humans vs. monsters scenario, with a body count similar to that of GOT, but in truth it has much more in common with All Quiet on the Western Front than, let's say, Pacific Rim. It's brutal, anti-war and pretty eye-opening when it comes to human nature. In general, the series is trying to answer this question: if to defeat the monsters you have to become one, is it still a victory for humanity? I'm positively obsessed. Four seasons in total, the last episode will air in October.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (that's a fan-made trailer) My friend called me one day and said "I was sick and had a fever, and I found this weird show, and I think you might like it because I couldn't tell if what I was watching was really happening or if I was hallucinating". If you survive two episodes of S1, you'll probably get hooked, but it might be too much at first. This show has everything: vampires, nazis, serial killers who look like David Bowie and a lot of 80s music references. It's spanning generations, continents and universes. You won't know what's coming next. It's even hard to say what this show is about, but someone summarized it this way: "a British bisexual lawyer becomes a vampire and torments a family for generations". I won't lie if I say JJBA has altered my brain chemistry. It did wonders for my creative process and for my writing in general. Araki is a genius and an absolute inspiration for me, hands down. Six seasons out for now, at least several more to come. let me know later if you tired watching any of them :3

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neoputo · 8 months

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okay, here we go

[ first of all, a lil disclaimer: these are my thoughts + opinions, this doesn't mean they're 100% right, at all. it's just some stuff i kept wondering abt after reading some theories and thought might be fun (?) to share. just to provide a look from a different angle, and to bring more questioning to the table. needless to say, i very much respect the authors of these theories, and i think their analytical skills are on another level! i would've never been able to come up with all that by myself! AND this post wouldn't exist if it wasn't for those analysis. so yeah, just wanted to make this clear. ]

anyway, these are some things i found that i think the following theories don't cover/might've missed out/might be wrong abt:

first, about "the *original* original sin theory": i feel like something's missing. this something being: there is no explanation for aziraphale's weird ass smile in the ending/credits scene. like, while i was reading the theory, i found myself nodding most of the time, and when i was getting closer to the end, i was hoping there would be some explanation for that final scene. but there wasn't! look, i'm not that smart, so i find it really hard to figure out why azi would smile like that after everything that happened, specially if we consider this theory to be true. something doesn't add up. there's something so wrong abt that smile. like,, on that same scene, crowley looks DEVASTATED and it makes sense! i feel aziraphale should look just as sad and broken, tho, and he doesn't. i mean, if it was a fake smile, i'd believe it was to deceive metatron, or pretend he is okay with his decision in front of him, or whatever. but it's not a fake smile. it's not a genuine one either. it's a very weird, kinda creepy smile??? like, michael sheen, you're amazing! but also, what the heck?! why would azi do that? (i have no idea. this is just me pointing this out, i don't have the brains to figure it out lol sorry!).

now, the other theory, "the magic trick you didn't see": i actually found this analysis very interesting and backed up with a lot of evidence as well! BUT (of course there's a but), i also feel like the author was kind of pushing it a bit too much sometimes. let me explain myself: i feel there are some moments that the author catalogues as "metatron's intervention/manipulation of memories" that, in my opinion, dont seem much like that... let's exemplify!

the "before the beginning" scene: honestly, i thought this scene was lovely! and i don't think metatron could've manipulated to draw aziraphale away from crowley. at all. in this scene, crowley is pictured as a cute little baby angel; so pure, so filled with excitement and curiosity and hope. he's also a bit naive, too, specially in comparison with aziraphale, who, on the other hand, looks baby but not so baby... he knows how things work up in heaven, he knows angels aren't that good (tho he might not admit it or say it out loud), he knows they aren't as free-willed as they might think they are, or want to be. so ofc, when crowley starts making questions + suggesting a suggestion box, aziraphale worries abt him. cus he knows how things work. and he knows angel!crowley could get in trouble for that. and he likes angel!crowley, boy! he so obviously does. so, aziraphale, much more aware of the situation and the way things work, is not withdrawn by crowley's innate curiosity. i think he actually likes that abt him, he might even think it's adorable. azi is just scared of what could happen to baby crowley, and i think he's trying to protect him. in conclusion, i personally think both aziraphale and crowley feel very much in character, which is to say, this memory doesn't feel/look manipulated or altered by metatron. not to me at least.

—i think there might be other scenes that the author labeled as "metatron's intervention/manipulation of memories" that i don't agree with, but i don't remember rn. guess i should read the analysis again to refresh my memory, but i won't do that rn, sorry!

also, i've already mentioned maggie's possible autism on another post!

okayyyyy,, this is it. i hope y'all (whoever you are) enjoyed reading this & thanks for taking your time! pls let me know what you think! i love discussing theories and thoughts on good omens with strangers lol but fr!

byebyeeeee

#good omens meta #aziraphale #crowley #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens theory #good omens analysis #good omens 2 theories analysis lol #go2 #go2 spoilers

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whatudottu · 1 year

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Ah yes, the two types of systems:

The Blitzwing Transformers Animated, who has alters who each have uniquely distinct appearances to the point of barely looking like the same person but are named after adjectives that describe their personality/powers in one word

And the Mike Total Drama, who has alters who have actual distinct names that still suit their personalities but all look the exact same but with different hairstyles even in headspace

(Helps that I like to headcanon Blitzwing having a very vivid and elaborate headspace where “everything is beautiful and nothing hurts” given how he’s been implied to be the creative type meanwhile Mike’s headspace canonically just looks like the inside of his brain)

As much canon it is as a Mock-Reality TV that uses diegetic cameras to have recordings of someone's headspace is at least-

I bet given the faces of the 3 hosts, Icy, Hothead, and Random would probably have their own bot looks, ones that match the altmodes they prefer; Icy of course sporting a jet (either a larger Cybertronian jet in comparison to Private's or the Earth jet he scans), Hothead with his tank, and Random being closer to the body's appearance as jet AND tank given that no one else claims it and HE was the one to convince Icy and Hothead to scan both Earth alts. And idk, maybe they also got their flash of colour where purple would be on Blitzwing's body, just to make them further appear different. I think it was the disagreement on altmode scanning that makes the system seem MORE like a system than as 3 exaggerated moods of the one guy, but they work well enough together to probably all be co-hosts of another-

The Mike Squad however... I do so adore how each of them has a personality and are considered to be very real (excluding their mistreatment in All-Stars and how Mal was handled), but like the only one that vaguely had their own look was Vito and that was only really because the body slicked their hair back and the terrifying implications that being shirtless triggers an alter to front. I mean, wouldn't it have been so cool to see Svetlana rocking a whole gymnast look? To have Chester be fully decked out in grandpa gear with a wrinkly face to match? Surely Manitoba would look much snazzier with a full Indiana Johns meets Crocodile Dundee outfit?

Part of me just thinks this is a(n unintentional) spoof of how Reality TV is a little scripted here and there, since though this wasn't the first time we the audience (and the audience of the in-universe show of Total Drama) get to see inside the contestants heads, it's certainly just... a LOT of headspace footage that would be unable to record plus the system's body just dressing and/or fronting as each alter-

God I wanna just try and draw up both systems alter's full appearance, Mike Squad might be easier because they all (seem to) present as humans but at least Blitzwing has some faces to reference for the hosting trio- can't promise anything but... haha!

#ask #anonymous #blitzwing #tfa blitzwing #mike squad #mike td #td mike #'''''technically''''' (ugh) total drama considers the mike squad as mike's system rather than a system of the body mike so i'm tagging mike #transformers #tfa #BETCs #bot experiment triple changers #maccadam #total drama #tdroti #honestly i have seen more mike squad alter appearances than i have seen blitzwing's alter appearances #(i guess maybe because the faces are already different + not exploring beyond the 3)#and i have seen some pretty interesting takes #maybe instead of suddenly spawning make-up svetlana could've been presented with a ponytail since she's a gymnast #would be a lot easier to logic and would match with vito mal and by technicality mike now that she takes a hairstyle #manitoba's covered with a hat but if chester wants more than just *face scrunches* he could probably mimic a combover #depends what chester actually looks like in their headspace maybe this old man's still got a full head of hair #ough if i want to draw blitzwing's alter appearances i'd had to come up with tfa octane and astrotrain designs lmao #and a smaller less dense jet for private but like pre-tc blitz IS very much a thing #even if my BETC!blitz has a slightly different reason for having a pre-experiment design #in my left hand there is BETC!blitz- in my right there is the mike squad #i am pondering them one by one like alternating arm curls and dumbbells

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matan4il · 1 year

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hey it’s miya again! thanks so much for responding to my previous ask!! i read your meta and it was amazing as always. i really like what you said about how addiction was something athena was aware of but not to a point where he is now inviting her to his meetings. the trust and bond the two of them have only got deeper with that. Following that up with how buck does not tell people his feelings and the level of honesty and vulnerability he let out in eddie’s presence just speaks volumes. there was no looking away like the fact that he looks up into eddie’s eyes and holds his gaze 😭😭 he has grown so much cause we haven’t had a moment like this with buck very clearly lost and trying to make sense of his trauma and it was done so well. love a bobby/buck parallel ❤️

I wanted to get more of your thoughts on if eddie was actually deflecting with the conversation about the shooting. cause to me he answered it so quick but in my mind it’s because the first thing he thought of was buck. if eddie had said “i remember you being in front of me when it happened or i remember falling to the ground and you watching me” that would would have been a shift in tone & kind of revealed a bit to much. eddie is very aware of his feelings for buck and i think with buck dying and then coming back to life (by his hands might i add) those feelings start to become more intensified. he wants to tell buck how he feels but it’s just not the right time ya know but i believe by the end of the season eddie won’t have a choice to tell him cause he can’t spend another minute without letting him know how much he loves him.

My lovely Miya! :D Hello again, so happy to hear from you! *HUGS* And please, you never have to thank me for replying to your ask, I'll always do my best with that! I just apologize if because of my disability, I can't answer too many asks at once, and it takes me more time. But I'm absolutely delighted to hear you enjoyed my 612 meta, thank you SO MUCH for the kind words!

I loved the Bobby/Buck parallels, so very appropriate since they're now acknowledged by both for the father and son they are! And yes, God. The vulnerability Buck is capable of around Eddie because he feels safe with him, it's gonna keep me up at night for several good years, I think... ;_;

Regarding what Eddie says... I'm not sure if he remembers. Yes, I know he answered quickly and averted his eyes, but that feels like a very natural form of behavior for someone remembering a life altering moment. He might remember and not be saying anything about it! I'm just not convinced the show has hinted at it in a manner that's unambiguous. Then again, sometimes shows are intentionally ambiguous because they're deflecting themselves. ;)

One reason why I think maybe full real doesn't remember (beyond the fact that trauma will sometimes do that to you) is that while you're absolutely right and saying "I remember you" would have been a very exposed moment between them, it could have also served to help Buck. Something like... telling him that in Eddie's greatest moment of need, he remembers Buck being there. Eddie knows Buck struggles with feelings of inadequacy, so telling him how instrumental he was during the worst moment of Eddie's life, that could have been very significant. Then again, Eddie might not say it if he thinks there's a way he can help Buck without putting himself too out there. We'll see, but I am very hopeful that one way or another, by the end of the season, we'll get one of them at least canonically knowing how they feel about the other one.

Thank you for this lovely ask, sweetheart! I hope you have a great day and I'm delighted we get to exchange POVs! As always, here's my ask tag. xoxox

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chum-personable · 1 year

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do you have any advice or tips for figuring out if you're plural/communicating with possible headmates? Sorry if it's too personal of thing to ask about, I'm trying to figure out my own brain stuff in this area and haven't been able to find much. thanks and I hope you have a great day!

so this answer comes with a lot of help from our friend @transpanda-1 , who helped us when we were just starting to think that maybe we were plural a few months back.

so one of the things that can make it difficult to tell is that, before you're aware, a different alter fronting can sort of just... feel like a shift in your mood? for a couple years after starting HRT (oh yeah and being trans puts another layer onto all of this considering you're literally changing your body and voice and behavior and whatnot) assuming that the hormones were giving us mood swings where we'd regularly feel giddy and carefree, usually at night when we didn't have any pressing responsibilities to worry about. Those were, in retrospect, times Serena was fronting, or at least some pre-forming equivalent.

If there are days where you find it more comfortable to speak in a slightly different register (again, being trans can make this weird) that's another thing. Some days our girl voice was so much more naturally girly than usual, and on days off we felt the urge to dress up cute even though we weren't going out. Again, Serena days. Different alters will often feel the need to sound a specific way, for example while I (Holly) enjoy doing deep, gruff male voices for a bit, Serena has a lot of trouble dropping her voice. Likewise, Jules can't really front at work much due to the stress of having to keep his voice sounding like ours. If you ever feel like for some reason your voice needs to sound a specific way and you don't know why, to the point of minor distress, that's likely another sign.

Also, and this is very relevant with regards to Serena: getting extremely invested in a character from a show or comic you like. Multiple times before Serena formed, we'd tweet about Sailor moon (which we had dove into like the deep end of a swimming pool) with things like "I'm just like Usagi Tsukino in that I'm a fat, easily distracted dummy who cries the moment anything goes wrong at all". And, well. Yeah.

Serena is a fictive, which is an alter who formed by using a fictional character as a framework. She often feels a disconnect regarding how our body looks versus how she expects to look. Which, actually, is another sign you might look for, but again being trans can make that weird.

If you want to take a quick little screening test (which, mind you, is definitely not definitive but will help to see if you want to look further into it) this one is good. We did another couple and they all seem to have similar questions. https://pcsintensive.com/screening/screen_des.html

And as for communication with possible headmates, I would say just be alert for any thoughts that don't feel like they're not... yours? Perhaps not super helpful, but for 20 years we thought the normal process of thinking to yourself played out in your head like a conversation, so. If you ever feel like you have a completely inexplicable urge to do something or if a thought feels like it's coming from a different... part? Of your brain? Just take a moment to try and talk to it. Send some thoughts its way. Let it know that it's okay if it wants to front. Try not to do all this when it's 4 AM and you're laying in bed and SUDDENLY your mental room mate is reveling in her first time in the driver's seat and wants to floor it.

I really, REALLY hope we were able to help. As our friend likes to say to fellow systems,

Thank you for existing!

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mahalshairyballs · 2 years

Text

Jake meta

cw : well his whole existence is a trigger warning tbh

Let's just put into words a synthesis of the headcanons I have about Jake, so you can understand why my Jake is the way he is in those fic summaries I write.

Jake is the physical protector alter we all agree on that? He's pushed to front during high stress and high physical threat to their lives.

He must not have fronting all that often outside these situations up until now. If he did Marc & Steven (or at least Marc) would've been more suspicious that another alter exists. He must have fronted a little bit more than that though, because Khonshu was fully aware of Jake's existence. And Khonshu has been using Jake as much as Marc, way before the endcredit scene we got. Khonshu didn't make a new deal with Jake, he just never let Jake free, he wasn't included in that ep 6 deal.

So I think Khonshu fucked Marc over in more than one way here (which could probably be how we're lead into a season 2). Jake being Khonshu's avatar for almost as long as Marc was, he would've fronted for the Moon Knight missions Marc would've refused to do - or at least argued with Khonshu over them. So Jake would've fronted more often in that period of time since Marc became Khonshu's avatar. Jake would've gotten a taste of life outside the few moments where he has to save their asses, if only to do Moon Knight stuff. He got to know more what 'normal' life is (and even more-so after season 1). He might have start to want this, want a life outside the very specific moments where he can front.

If you thought Marc had issues- and he definitely does - just wait to hear about Jake's.

So if all this is indeed the case, Jake indeed fronted to take the physical abuse during their childhood. It may be all that Jake remembers of his childhood. Just constant pain, over and over again. Not understanding why it's happening to him, not having anyone to help, not having any other memories but this constant aching pain.

Imagine what that would do to someone.

First time Jake fronted without an imminent threat to their body would be either in the mental hospital, or in the army. And as BraiDIDbunch said themselves, when you're so used to bad things happening to you constantly, you can't fully relax, you can't put your guards down. Because surely, something awful will happen any second now right? And that's how Jake must have felt, the first times he fronted without having to protect them. It must have happened a few random times, for various reasons. It didn't happen often. Often he still had to protect them against something- maybe that's how he did his frst kill. But when everything was quite, Jake was still very tense, his senses were still on high alert, waiting for the inevitable threat. I don't think he ever learned to truly calm down. Not up to season 2 at least.

Marc also has this state of mind, but in a different way than Jake. Marc's is mostly his inability to be happy, his distrust and pessism. Good things aren't meant to last. If he even believes that he can deserve good things happening to him.

Jake's could even lead to self-fulfilling prophecies (Marc's too actually). If no danger came to him, he was going to get to the danger himself. Which might have gotten him in trouble in the army - and even in their later jobs. But it might also have made him Duchamp's best asset when they were mercenary.

Another impact this childhood had on Jake is his inability to connect emotionally with anyone - and to receive any kind of physical affection. (Also what would explain the surface impression that he's just an assassin).

But, assuming that he's allosexual (which is my headcanon since an asexual assasin is its own Tropetm) he'd still crave this physical proximity to others sometimes. And since he still doesn't front for long enough to develop any significant relationship anyway, he'd be better just to get hookups and casual sex.

That's all he can afford, both emotionally and because of time.

So he'd sleep with people whenever he wants to/can. He would, knowingly or unknowingly, eventually crave the emotional proximity that comes with it. He'd definitely crave just existing, like a normal person. Even if he still doesn't fully know what it's like, nor can he fully relax in 'normal down times' like this. Just experiencing every day stuff, going to restaurants, on dates...he'd want more of that.

And he, almost assuredly, would resent Steven & Marc for having a life while he doesn't (that doesn't mean he'd work against their collective best interests, but this would be part of the elements why he wouldn't want to be friends with them, or cooperate more than the bare minimum with them. Also why he'd stay Khonshu's avatar).

I think Jake is aware of at least Marc, maybe both of them, but he doesn't feel the need to let them know he exists (and it's in Khonshu's interests that Marc doesn't know about Jake as we saw. So maybe Khonshu even dissuaded Jake from letting himself be known to them at some point).

Would all that make him not able to socialize with othet people? Yes and no. As I said, in the past few years he's had more practice just interacting with people. And I think he's naturally charming. He might be pretty good at just shallow flirting to get what he wants (he went to the Khonshu class of manipulation). We inferred that with the date he got with Dylan and with the aftercredit when he talked to that nurse. Didn't take long for her to let him go (the Spanish helped of course ahah).

So, is Jake a womanizer? No, not really because he's bi lmao. Is he promiscuous? Well yeah, kind of. But that's because he has no other choices at the moment.

So Jake, like all three of these dummies, has a lot of work to do on himself. A lot.

But I think he'll get there. He's working on it in my head-fic at least.

He cuddled with Layla for the first time after more than a year living with them

#cw child abuse #cw trauma #cw physical abuse #cw child physical abuse #jake lockley isn't unreasonable #nobody expects the spanish lockley #jake lockley #*hugging the marc system forever*#moon knight #moon knight spoilers #moon knight meta #marc spector #khonshu is a lil shit

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