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hootcifer · 3 years

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talking about toh | season two, episode eight: "knock knock knockin' on hooty's door"

holy shit

sorry this was a few days late, i was equal parts busy and lazy.

previous | first | next spoilers under the cut, as always

the beginning

awww hooty’s writing to lilith! like he promised!

btw, just so you guys know, i’ll be referring to hooty with he/they pronouns, because it makes sense to me. also i use he/they and i’m a hooty stan so it works.

I realize now that i spelled “hootsifer” wrong in my url. oh well, i like “hootcifer” better anyway. (also the url “hootsifer” is taken anyway)

oh no, hooty feels unimportant! i’m sure the large majority of the fandom is okay with this, but i’m not! poor thing.

i found it adorable that luz wants to find a way into amity's heart (even though she's had a place there since grom). how she would use the echo mouse for that, i don't know.

luz saying "we have to go" was almost a direct parallel to amity saying "I GOTTA GO" in "wing it like witches".

king's plot

i love how king is going through his angsty teen phase. that's hilarious.

why the fuck does hooty just eat people?! and then just act like that's an okay thing to do?!

i think it's a fun detail that hooty is wearing king's teacher hat from "the intruder". i love little things like that.

i like how this episode gave us some lore as to how demons on the isles work. they emerged from the muck of a decomposing titan? that's dope! it's also cool how there's three main types of demons.

hooty is a worm?!

on the board with all the bug demons, i recognized the butterfly alador kept chasing in "escaping expulsion", as well as adagast from "witches before wizards", the bear trap demon from "the intruder", and the kindergarten teacher from "i was a teenage abomination".

it was neat to see the fairy from "a lying witch and a warden" and the butterfly... thing from "witches before wizards". more neat continuity stuff!

what did king say with his dance? i'm very curious.

maybe king didn't want to talk about the cocoon, but i certainly do! what the hell happened?!

because of some of the images in the background when hooty was talking about demons, we can infer that some students of hexside are demons and not witches. i wonder if witches are more powerful than demons, or if they're on the same level.

other biped demons i recognize are the bounty hunter, tibbles, one of the pirates, warden wrath, and braxus.

i also saw a cat-person. are catgirls and catboys a thing on the isles?

i like how tiny nose and hooty are friends. somehow, it makes sense.

was tiny nose playing on a nintendo switch? that's cool.

we got to see even more past demons from the section about beasts, such as the ratworms, the echo mouse, the trash slug, the selikdomus, the slitherbeast, and the snaggleback.

has tiny nose's voice changed, or is that just me?

i'm really curious as to what the heck king is. is he a unique kind of demon? a hybrid, maybe?

i thought it was sweet that hooty and tiny nose tried to celebrate king for who he is, even though it just made him sad. they're trying.

eda's plot

hooty had a good point in wanting eda to sleep. sleep is important! says the guy who regularly stays up until at least midnight.

i completely understand hooty's fear of the owl beast. remember what happened last time?

the cookies hooty made were very cute. i loved that.

hey, the sleeping nettles are back! the same thing luz and hunter used a few episodes back to put kikimora's steed to sleep.

we got to see eda's dad! we know very little about him, but we did see him. also, did he look like nigel thornberry to anyone else? no? just me? okay then.

it broke my heart seeing raine and eda breaking up. it was neat that we got confirmation that they were together!

eda clearly regrets pushing raine away. poor thing.

who is the cloaked figure? i've seen a lot of theories that it's amity, but that makes no sense. i don't think she was even alive at this point. it could be odalia, though. that would be a cool twist.

the little owl beast was so cute. i want a plush of that.

HARPY EDA! holy shit, she's so cool. top tier character design.

luz (and amity)'s plot

you better bet your ass i have a lot to say about this! plot! okay, let's start from the beginning.

i was really hoping we would get some mutual pining lumity this season, and by god did it deliver! luz referring to her as a "cotton-candy-haired goddess" was too cute.

from what she said, it sounds like this isn't the first time luz has tried to ask someone out. she's so afraid of getting rejected. wait a minute, amity was afraid of getting rejected too! that's a parallel i didn't even realize!

i wasn't expecting to see amity this episode! it looks like her parents let her keep her purple hair. that, or the twins are using illusions to hide her hair from their parents.

i love how hooty's solution to getting amity to the owl house is to straight-up eat her. that's one way to do things.

i really want to know more about house demons. are there more than one? are they all bird-like? are they born as houses or do they just inhabit houses? so many questions and not enough lore!

the way luz interrupted amity when she suggested "forgetting" about what happened in front of blight manor reminded me of how eda kept interrupting king last episode when she thought he was going to tell her he was planning on leaving.

i'm not gonna lie, i skipped through the majority of the tunnel of love scene. that kind of thing gives me second-hand embarrassment like you wouldn't believe.

my heart shattered into pieces when amity said that the idea of her adting luz was stupid. she obviously doesn't believe it, but she's probably been trying to convince herself of it.

this part had me terrified that the lumity plot for the episode would end there. thank goodness it didn't, eh?

the ending

AAAAAAAAAAAA

okay, okay, let's start from when hooty freaks out for a third time, after the tunnel of love.

i thought it was funny how hooty ripped himself out of the door in order to run (?) away. at least we didn't have to hear all the sounds this time.

wait, "things always get weird when hooty's upset"? has this kind of thing happened before?

gosh, the part where king's voice powers saved luz and amity was so cool. i saw somewhere that the animator wanted to reflect the lesbian and bi flags and they did a great job.

eda encouraging luz to ask amity out was so cute. we stan a supportive mom, always.

and then comes the scene everyone's been talking about. oh my gosh, this was done so beautifully! it was equally awkward and cute, the way it should have been, and the fact that they both asked each other was perfect!

LOOK AT HOW HAPPY AMITY IS WHEN SHE SAYS YES!!! this is the happiest we have ever seen her, and it's adorable.

something i really love about this scene is the fact that they didn't say "i love you" or even kiss, like what seems to happen in a lot of confession scenes. they just held hands. it was probably one of the most realistic confession scenes i've ever seen. it kind of reminded me of when my gf and i got together.

oh yeah, that's right! they're officially together!!!!!!! FINALLY!!! i was not expecting anything that happened in this episode, but out of everything this one was the most surprising. holy SHIT! we have a canonically sapphic couple! in a disney cartoon! a disney cartoon!

honestly, i hope everyone has gained more respect for hooty after this. they've helped further the plot more in one episode than anyone else has done throughout the rest of the show.

we got to see king's dad properly for the first time! i don't think we'll see him in "eclipse lake", but maybe we will in the episode after that? i hope so.

everyone's freaking out about hooty eating the letter but... can't they just... throw it back up? like they did at the beginning of "really small problems"?

predictions

to my knowledge, the next episode is going to be about amity looking for an ingredient for the new portal. i also know that eda, king, and hunter will be there too. i don't know what to expect, but i am very excited. until next time!

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qqueenofhades · 4 years

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Hilaryyyyy your Old Guard fic has ruined my life as I knew it would. When I found it on ao3 yesterday, let out an irl cackle and had to constantly remind myself to wait until the work day was over to begin reading (the joys and perils of working from home in these Covid times, gotta stay on top of my shit myself). [1/7]

Now I've been following you for years (if this can be a timestamp: one of the earliest fic of yours that I can recall reading was a Gladiator-style Captain Swan piece that truly and physically ripped my heart to shreds. Like: real life chest pain) and thought I knew what I was getting into. I know you're a historian so I figured this would be rich with (accurate!) detail. It was that and more: so immersive, so /educational/, so everything. [2/7]

And this is all before getting into the Nicky/Joe of it all. I read through a lot of the ao3 comments as well (is that weird? I wasn't ready to leave the space the fic created yet so I kept the ball rolling in a different way) and like I saw a couple people mention, the characterizations went differently than I had envisioned yet felt so right, I was sold. [3/7]

The thing about the movie that grabbed me (amongst the other 283737 things that I loved) was how, in every scene, in every way, yet without ever beating us over the head with it: Joe and Nicky just /fit/. Like the sky is blue, the Earth is round, Joe and Nicky were made for each other. [4/7]

Now I have shipped many a couple in my old age, but this has been the quietest, most solid love story I've witnessed, without it even being the focus of the movie and once the 2 hours flew by, I knew I needed a prequel, a sequel, and a 6+ season series and to know all that is and ever was about these two. (And Andy and Booker and Quynh, but that is not where I am going with this ramble). [5/7]

The way you took them from their start to the end in 1995 had me hooked and I just want to thank you for it. You treated them as individuals made it understandable why they are so perfect for each other by the time we meet them in the movie. They were just so real and I loved it. [6/7]

I don't even know how to end this unending word spiral (and if I've lost you, don't worry because I'm pretty sure I lost myself at this point) but I just want to say that: I know you are a historian, I know you are a writer, yet this amazed me and I hope you never have doubts that those two endeavours are your calling. Thank you for the art! 🙏🏻 [7/7]

Oh wow, this is so long and so lovely, thank you so much. (Also, may I applaud your Mad Skills in knowing that this would take 7 asks to send; I am impressed by that and even more by the fact that Tumblr didn’t eat any of them, as I’m sure it was longing to do.)

As I said to another follower since the Captain Swan days: truly, I must thank you for putting up with God knows what and God knows how many spirals and new ships and hyperfixations since then (that started like... 8 years ago Jesus Christ). And yes, aha, When in Rome was like one of my earlier or at least early-ish fics for them, and was known for causing pain back then (I come by my url honestly). Memories.

As for how I characterized Joe and Nicky in their backstories: I don’t tend to read TONS of fanon (usually just what pops up on my dash) so I can’t speak to how they’re characterized in other fics, but for me, I am always a Ho for that sweet sweet character development, and for exploring how characters are flawed, how they change and grow, how their experiences affect them, and how they begin in one place and end in another. (Plus, we know that I also love me some of that Trash Man Character Development, especially if they’re actively trying harder to be a good person.) I’m also very invested in the idea that kindness a) isn’t just being passive and letting things happen to you, but requires action and fierceness and commitment and other things that usually come to you by experience, and b) that it’s a choice you make and have to keep making. So obviously we see Nicky struggle and grow with that over the centuries and even after everything that happens to him (and with Joe as well, of course; they both have to do it in their own ways), but that’s not necessarily where he starts out in 1099 and it’s something that has to come to him over (many, many) years. He’s a good man, but it’s raw, and it’s messy, and all this obviously horrible stuff is happening to both of them, and that’s not the easiest way to be constantly optimistic. When he’s still optimistic about things in 1995, it’s despite everything he’s seen, and which he has had to consciously choose over and over, the same way all of them have.

Likewise, not of course to rain on anyone’s parade who headcanons the two of them getting together in the First Crusade itself, but I just could not possibly imagine that happening. There’s just too much that they have to go through with their realizations about immortality and about each other and the sack of Jerusalem and everything else, and of course they’d run away and drag their feet and have shock and trauma over it and etc. (Besides, I need me a good enemies to lovers with proper buildup, so yes.) Their entire WORLD comes unglued and I wanted to process that properly for both of them as individuals before moving to writing them as a couple, and anyway. Yes. Of course they had to take a hundred years to figure their shit out and work through their emotions and come to a place where they could get together and then continue to make choices both for themselves and for each other.

.... the point is, I love them. I love them so very much and you’re right, they just FIT, they’re meant for each other, I adore every bit of the cheesy romantic tropes they’re given and I eat them up with a gd spoon. It just Hits Different when it’s the star-crossed immortal enemies to lovers One True Love romantic fairytale gay crusaders couple, ya feel? (As once more, I ruefully reflect how PAINFULLY they are exactly my type. And I also need all the content. Immediately.)

Anyway. I will likewise curtail this ramble here, but thanks again, and I’m so glad that you enjoyed it!

#anaihr #ask #dvla asks

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another-broken-avenue3 · 5 years

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Somebody to Love || part one

warning: language

word count: 3.4K

hello everyone! I hope you all enjoy this. let me know if you liked it and if you’d want to read more. thank you xxx

p.s. a special thank you to Bree (@serpentbaby) and Steph (I don’t have her url at the moment) for helping me while I was writing this. ya’ll are my faves ❤️

---------------------------------------------------------

May 1981

My sneakers squeak against the ugly tiled floors of Donny’s Diner as myself and my two best friends made our way to the hostess podium. The clouds had let loose a downpour of rain and we had been soaked.

“God, I’m freezing,” Willow says, rubbing her arms to try to warm herself up.

“I told you to bring a jacket, Willow,” Julie, Jul for short, remarks while rolling her eyes.

“Hey, I’m freezing and I wore one,” I reply, pulling my leather jacket closed.

“See Jul, you don’t need to be rude.” Willow sticks her tongue out at Jul and continues rubbing her hands against her arms.

An older waitress approaches us. “Booth or table girlies?”

“Booth please,” we all chime in unison.

She leads us to a booth in the middle of the diner and hands us all menus. I immediately start perusing mine for something hot to eat. Jul just sits there popping the piece of gum in her mouth. Willow starts looking through the drink options.

“Anything to drink or do you girls need a minute?” The waitress asks. Her name tag says ‘Dottie.’

“I’ll have a coffee, black.” Jul pops her gum again.

I sigh. “I’ll have a coke please.”

“I’ll also have a coke,” Willow chimes in.

Dottie smiles, writes it all down, and heads to towards the kitchen.

Within just a couple minutes, she’s back with our drinks.

Suddenly a group of guys push each other through the door. They’re loud and obnoxious, except for one who’s trailing behind with a flask in his hand.

“Dottie!” One of them with black hair yells, drawling out the waitress’s name.

She smiles and leads them to the booth next to ours. “Nikki, good to see you doll. Vince, Mick, Tommy, always a pleasure.”

“My usual please Dottie,” the one she called Nikki says.

“Of course. Vince? Mick? You two want anything?” she asks, motioning to the blonde and black haired guys sitting on the seat directly behind Jul.

The black haired one just holds up his flask and shakes his head. The blonde locks eyes with a blonde chick barely wearing clothes across the diner and shakes his head.

“No thanks Dottie.”

“Tommy? Blueberry pancakes?” She smiles at a very tall dark haired guy sitting next to the one she called Nikki.

“Dottie, you know me so well.” He flashes a big smile.

Dottie nods and walks back to the kitchen.

“Hello? Earth to Willow and Echo??”

I snap back to reality, not even realizing I was staring at the interaction. I turn to Willow and notice she was doing the same thing.

I quickly look back down at my menu to find some food.

“That show was fucking crazy! Like when you hit that dickhead with your bass, Nikki, crazy shit dude!” I hear Tommy say.

“Yeah but when you dove into the crowd and started beating the shit out of that other guy T-Bone!” Nikki starts laughing loudly.

Jul scoffs. “If those dudes don’t chill the fuck out soon I swear I’ll snap,” she whispers.

“Jul, just let it go please,” Willow whispers then goes back to looking at her menu.

Dottie stops at our booth again. “You girls ready to order?”

We fold up our menus and put them together.

“I’ll have eggs, sunny side up, and a chocolate chip muffin please,” Willow chirps.

“I’m good with just the coffee, thank you.”

“I’d like a waffle with a side of bacon please,” I say, handing her our stack of menus once she’s done writing out order.

“All right, I’ll bring that out for you girls as soon as it’s ready.” Dottie walks back to the kitchen, and then appears with the guys’ orders.

She hands Nikki an airplane bottle of Jack Daniel’s and a glass of coke. Tommy happily takes his plate of blueberry pancakes. Nikki then chugs the whole little bottle of whiskey.

“Whoa.”

My eyes immediately shoot to Willow, as well as Jul’s and all the guys’.

Her cheeks burned red with embarrassment. “I um... Sorry, I-,” she stutters.

Nikki chuckles and smirks at her. “It’s okay angel face, I get that reaction a lot.”

Jul rolls her eyes.

“I’m Nikki. This is Mick,” he motions to the shorter guy with the flask.

“Vince is our blonde haired bitch,” Tommy says with a laugh as Vince flips him off, “and I’m Tommy.” He flashes a big smile.

“I’m Willow,” she touches her chest. “This ray of sunshine is Jul.” Jul raises her hand and continues sipping her coffee.

“I’m Echo,” I say with a small smile.

Dottie approaches our booth with our food and I realize how hungry I actually am.

“Thank you so much Dottie,” I say taking my plate.

“Enjoy ladies.”

It takes everything I have not to moan out loud when I finally take a bite.

“I’ll be back.” Jul gets up from the table and heads towards the bathrooms.

I eat more of my waffle and bacon and suddenly see two figures in all black slip into our booth. My eyes look up and meet the brightest blue eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.

Tommy flashes a killer smile and shoves a forkful of pancake into his mouth.

“It’s good right?” he asks with his mouth full. I smile and nod.

“So what brings you girls here at this time of night?” Nikki asks, directing the question more at Willow.

“Well we work at a bar not far from here and we got off and were starving so we decided to stop in,” Willow answers.

“Well I’m certainly glad you all did.” Nikki winks.

“What are you guys doing here? Did you guys catch a concert or something?” I ask.

“What makes you guess that?” Tommy retorts with a smirk.

“The leather jackets, the all black clothes, the hair; I just assumed.”

Tommy laughs. “I guess you have a point there.” He takes a sip of his drink. “You were kind of right when you said we were at a show.”

I raise my eyebrow. “Kind of right?” I question.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled up flyer. I flatten it out the best I can and read over it.

Mötley Crüe

Whiskey A Go Go

3 Nights Only

Then they had a picture of the four of them at the bottom. Holy shit.

“Wait, you guys are a band?” I ask, still a little in shock.

“Hell yeah we are!” Nikki says high-fiving Tommy.

“Tonight was our first show there. It started off with us fighting a couple guys and then it ended fucking great!” Tommy starts twirling a drumstick between his fingers.

I smile. “I assume you’re the drummer.”

He smiles wide. “I am.”

I watched him twirl the drumstick. “Where’d you learn to do that?” I ask.

He sighs and stops twirling it. “High school marching band,” he kind of mumbles.

I giggle. “You were in marching band? You’re lying. You definitely don’t seem like the type of person to be in a high school marching band.”

He nods his head. “Nope, I was in my high school marching band.”

“Echo was too!” Willow interjects.

He glances at her then back to me with a look of surprise. “You were in marching band too?”

I smile and nod. “I wasn’t a badass drummer though.”

He laughs. “Bet you were still a badass. What’d you play?” he asks.

I shake my head. “I didn’t play anything. I did flags.”

His eyes go wide. “No fucking way. You did the throwing and spinning and all that shit?”

I nod. “Yes I did. Tossing and spinning and doing all that while moving in between people and trying not to hit them.”

“That’s fucking badass dude!”

I smile wide. “You think so?” I laugh a little.

“Yes!” He shows off his wonderful smile.

My cheeks heat up a little, no doubt a light red from the compliment.

“So you girls have any plans for the night?” Nikki asks.

“We were just planning to go home and relax,” Willow replies.

“No no no no no. You girls cannot just go home, there’s a whole night scene out there!” Nikki says throwing his hands in the air.

“We work again tomorrow,” Jul pops up next to me.

“Come hang with us, we’ll buy the drinks and everything.” Tommy looks at me with puppy dog eyes.

I sigh and smile. “Jul, they’re paying so you can get all the tequila and vodka you want.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her.

She cracks a small smile. “Okay fine, you got a deal.” The four of us all cheer.

“First I’m finishing this great food,” I say as I shove a piece of bacon into my mouth.

Tommy laughs a little.

We finish our food, leaving money for the bill and a great tip for Dottie. We all file out the door and into the street. At least the rain stopped.

“So where are we going exactly?” Willow asks.

“A bar right down the street,” Nikki replies slinging his arm over her shoulders. I notice a slight pink hue spread over her cheeks.

Tommy walks next to me. “So what’s your poison, Echo?”

I shrug slightly. “I’ll drink anything really, except tequila.” A chill goes up my back and makes my body shutter at the thought of the sharp taste.

He smiles. “I’ll remember that.”

I pull my jacket closer to my body and shiver.

“Are you cold?” Tommy looks down at me.

“A little. We got caught in the rain earlier and my clothes are still damp,” I reply and look back at him.

“Here.” His jacket is draped over my shoulders. Man how is his jacket so warm?

“But Tommy-“

He cuts me off. “No buts. You’re cold and my jacket is warm.” He smiles down at me. “Plus it looks better on you.”

I giggle. He’s incredibly sweet. I slip my arms into the sleeves, which go at least two inches further than my fingertips.

Tommy chuckles beside me. “What?” I ask, holding his jacket against me.

“You.”

I look up at him, confused. “Me? Me what?”

He laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “You’re fucking adorable.”

We finally get to the bar and the boys lead us to the front of the line.

“But the back of the line is back there,” I say pointing behind us.

“Sweets, Motley Crue doesn’t wait in line,” Vince says walking past the guard and into the bar.

Tommy holds up his hand, making devil horns, and sticks his tongue out. I laugh and follow them all inside.

The music is loud and I can feel the bass thumping in my chest.

“You want a drink, beautiful?” Tommy says in my ear.

I nod and smile. “Surprise me.”

He walks to the bar and comes back handing me a drink. “Bottoms up!” He clinks his glass against mine.

I throw my back and cringe a little at the strong taste. Vodka, good but burns like hell.

“Woo!” Tommy cheers after drinking his.

I hear the opening chords for Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar. “Oh my god!”

Tommy looks at me. “What?”

“I love this song!” I yell over the music.

He smiles at me as I start mouthing the words with the music.

“Well you’re a real tough cookie with a long history, of breaking little hearts like the one in me.” I bounce my head to the beat and tap my foot.

Tommy hasn’t stopped smiling. “Wanna dance?” he asks.

I look at him with wide eyes. “I can’t dance to save my life.” I laugh.

He leans in, talking into my ear, “I can’t either, but after a couple more drinks I’m not sure what’ll happen.”

I laugh. “Well then let’s have another, rockstar!”

He leads me to the bar and motions to the bartender. “Get me a couple shots of jack please.”

“And I’ll have vodka and ginger ale please,” I yell over the music.

Tommy downs both his shots as I sip on my drink.

“Fuck that’s good!”

I laugh and continue to move slightly to the voice of Pat Benatar.

After a couple more vodka and ginger ales for me and probably a dozen shots for Tommy, we were pretty tipsy if not drunk.

I hear one of the best musical voices in the world, Freddie Mercury. Somebody to Love, my favorite.

“Oh my god Tommy we have to dance to this song please!” I say in Tommy’s ear.

“Let’s do it!” He throws his hands up.

I laugh as he takes my hand and leads me to the middle of the crowded dance floor. We start to dance. It’s most certainly sloppy and probably not the greatest, but we laugh and just enjoy ourselves.

He starts pulling me closer and quietly singing the words to me. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. He’s swaying with me and smiling down at me. Holy fuck I didn’t realize how tall he really is ‘til just now. He’s so close I can smell the jack on his breath but I can also smell his cologne and it’s so nice. His hands find my hips as I look up at him. I want to say something but my already hazy mind can’t form a sentence.

“Fuck,” Tommy mumbles.

“What? What it is?” I ask, worried I did something wrong.

“You.”

“Me? What’d I do? Goddamit, I fucked something up didn’t I?”

“Hey, hey, hey. Calm down.”

I look up at him. “Okay. What is it then?”

He smiles and shakes his head a little. “You, you’re so goddamn beautiful.”

I feel my cheeks instantly heat up.

Then I suddenly feel very lightheaded and hot and my hearing makes it sound like everyone else is miles away.

“Echo? You okay?” Tommy looks down at me concerned.

“I need some air,” I say, stepping away and making my way outside to the patio area.

The cool air hits my skin and my dizziness fades. I lean against the railing and hold my head.

I hear a cat-call whistle. Oh fuck me.

“Well look at what we’ve got here.”

I groan as a couple of tall, broad, and sweaty looking guys step towards me.

“Looks like a pretty little drunk thing to me,” the black haired guy replies to the blonde one.

“Leave me alone assholes.” I wave my hand at them, hoping they’d go away.

“Fiery little thing, isn’t she?”

“I like ‘em fiery.”

The blonde grabs my wrist and tries to pull me close. “C’mon baby, we know exactly what you need.”

“You don’t know shit.” I rip my wrist out of his hand and turn away from him. “Now keep your disgusting hands off of me.”

“That’s what you think now,” the black haired one grabs my hips and whispers in my ear, “but we’ll have you screaming our names later.”

“The only name she’ll be screaming later is mine.”

I turn to the sound of Tommy’s voice. “Tommy.”

He smiles at me, then turns and glares at them. “I believe I’ll be taking my girl now.”

The guys laugh.

“You’re not man enough for a girl like her,” the blonde spits at Tommy.

“Yeah, she’d be much more satisfied with a couple of guys like us.”

I feel my blood boiling. “You guys are right. I need big strong men to satisfy me.”

The black haired one smirks and turns to me. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

I put my hands on his shoulders. “There’s just one more thing.”

“Oh? And what’s that?”

“This.” I knee him right in the groin, causing him to fall to the ground. I smirk at Tommy who’s smiling ear to ear.

“What the fuck?! You dumb cunt!” The blonde raises his fist.

Just before he goes to hit me, Tommy grabs his arm. “Don’t you ever raise your hand at her!” Tommy’s fist connects with the blonde’s jaw. The blonde hits the floor and spits out a little blood.

“C’mon gorgeous.” Tommy holds out his hand. I take it, smiling.

I turn back to the two pieces of shit on the ground. “That’s what you get for being scumbags.”

Tommy laughs and leads me back into the bar. “You were fucking amazing!” He hugs me tight, picking me up a little in the process.

I giggle loudly. “Tommy, you were the amazing one!”

He smiles and puts me back down.

“Thank you for saving me.”

He chuckles. “No problem, beautiful.”

I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek.

“You wanna get out of here?” he asks, smiling ear to ear.

“I would love to.”

We head back into the bar and search for any of the other Motley boys or one of my friends. I spot Jul sipping from a Jack Daniels bottle and passing it to Mick.

“There’s Jul and Mick,” I say in Tommy’s ear.

He nods and leads us over to them. “Hey, Mick, we’re heading out. You staying here?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna hang out here for a while, drummer.”

“Jul, are you staying too?” I ask.

“Yeah, this isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” She smiles.

I smile at her. “Okay, just keep an eye on Willow please? She seems like she’s having fun too.” I point to a corner where Willow and Nikki are all over each other.

She laughs. “Yeah we’ll be home before too late.”

I nod and wave. “See you at home.”

Tommy and I leave the bar and walk down the mostly empty street.

“Tommy.”

“Yeah?”

“I really appreciate you coming to my rescue at the bar. You’re my hero,” I look at my hands.

“Hey,” he tilts my chin up using his index finger, “I’ll be your hero any day.”

I blush as he flashes his amazing smile.

The sky lights up and a loud crack soon follows.

“Shit. Come on, let’s hurry and get you home before the rain starts again.” He places his hand on the small of my back.

We make it onto my street when the rain starts to pour. I laugh and start running, Tommy following behind me. I quickly pull my keys from my jacket pocket and unlock the front door, flinging it open. Tommy stumbles in after me. I close the door behind him and take off his jacket and then my own.

“I’m so sorry Tommy. You’re soaked now,” I say, noticing his shirt clinging to his torso. “Hold on, stay right there.”

I run to my bedroom and start digging through my dresser for some clothes. I finally find a t-shirt and sweatpants that just might fit him. I come back out, seeing Tommy shiver a little.

“Here I have some sweats and a t-shirt for you.” I hand him the clothes. “If you want you can change in the bathroom, it’s right down the hall on the left.”

He smiles. “Thank you Echo, you’re a saint.”

I watch as he walks down the hall and into the bathroom.

I make my way back to my room and search for clothes for myself. Finding a pair of shorts and a long sleeve shirt, I slip off my wet clothing.

“Echo?” I hear Tommy just outside my bedroom door.

I slip on my shorts and adjust my shirt. “I’m in here.”

He slowly opens the door. “Are you decent?” he asks, his hand covering his eyes.

I let out a giggle as I see him peeking through his fingers. “I’m dressed, you silly man.”

He smiles and leans against the doorway, looking at me.

“What?” I throw my hair into a ponytail.

“You look sexy in shorts.”

I laugh a little. “Well thank you. Wanna watch a movie or something?” I ask, switching on the TV.

“Fuck yeah!” He flops onto my bed and pats the spot next to him.

“I don’t have a lot of movies though,” I say, lying next to him.

“That’s okay. Let’s just watch TV.”

“Okay.” I smile and flip through the channels until we find something that’s not horrible.

I shiver a little.

“You cold?” he asks. I nod a little.

He pulls a blanket over us. “Better?”

I smile up at him and nod. “Thank you, Tommy.”

“You’re welcome, beautiful.”

A yawn escapes my lips. “Fuck, sorry.”

Tommy chuckles. “It’s okay baby.”

We continue watching the TV show and my eyes start drooping shut. I feel Tommy’s arms snake around me and my body instantly relaxes.

“Goodnight sweetness,” Tommy whispers in my ear.

#the dirt #the dirt fanfic #tommy lee #nikki sixx #mick mars #vince neil #my fanfic #somebody to love fanfic #i'm really sorry if it's terrible #tommy x oc #mgk!tommy #motley crue

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wintersqueenmab · 5 years

Note

Silly, do all the questions you definitely deleted. All of them.

Well, since you asked so nicely, sure. Under the readmore to save dashboard space.

1. how tall are you?

I’m 5 foot, 9 inches tall, or 175 centimeters for those of you using metric units.

2. what is your body type?

Softer than I’d like, but otherwise pretty standard.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

I do like the color of my eyes, and I think my hands are pretty nice.

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Partially, yes. However, the top of my head is currently a cotton candy riot, so not that part.

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I like to pull off the shy -> outgoing combo for maximum damage.

6. are you more femme or butch?

Being AMAB, I’m pretty sure I’m automatically on the butch side. Not where I’d like to keep it, though.

7. are you tol or smol?

I don’t think 5′9″ is very tall, or very small. The middle it is, then.

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Definitely vodka aunt.

9. weird habit?

Does eating popcorn seeds count?

10. favorite meme?

I’m a sucker for bass boosting in the middle of otherwise normal videos.

11. do you sing in the shower?

Ironically, that’s one of the only places I don’t sing.

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

A couple times, but never in any seriousness.

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

Not currently, but I definitely was in high school. Would love to go back.

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nah, son. Shit’s expensive.

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes, but in a good way.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

Sadly not.

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

“Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.”

18. last movie you watched?

Spider-Man: Far from Home.

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

In front, definitely. Doing theater has shown me that I love being in the spotlight.

20. favorite tv show?

Toss up between Steven Universe and A:tLA.

21. meaning behind your url

Comes from an old username I had a long time ago. I still use Rydyr for most things online.

22. reason you joined tumblr

Kingdom Hearts fandom, then almost immediately comboed into Homestuck.

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

Probably samysticeti.

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Lord of the Rings.

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

Nope.

26. have you had sex?

Sure have.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Yes, several times.

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

I once told my dad that my brother had destroyed my writing journal to get out of writing in it for the day. It worked!

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

Getting to know systems and the best way to exploit them is pretty dang neat.

30. describe your best friend.

Always there for me, even when I don’t want them there. But they know better.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

Now, what makes you think you’ve earned that?

32. how do you feel right now?

Slightly irritated at the amount of formatting work I had to do for this (a lot), but otherwise good. Go listen to Starlight Brigade if you haven’t heard it, it’s fantastic.

33. what is your biggest fear?

Not becoming who I want to be.

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Glory, by Bastille.

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Being more outgoing has, in general, done a ton for me.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

Yeah. That’s life, though.

37. something you fantasize about.

Financial stability, a harem of cuties, being in a harem of cuties. Lots of unattainable goals.

38. last time you cried and why

A while ago, probably over past relationships.

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

A dumb play my friend made in a League of Legends match.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Always.

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Honestly, nobody. Without sounding like an edgelord, there’s a lot I don’t want people to know because they’d just worry.

42. the last time you felt broken?

Last night.

43. are you starting to realize anything

Many, many things.

44. are you more dominant or more submissive

Depends on the context, obviously. I try to be assertive in everyday life, but I think I’m more submissive in the bedroom.

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if you treat me with respect.

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

I don’t have any real preference, but I think I’d feel weird if I dated someone significantly younger than myself.

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

That’s not fair; I have too many crushes to single anyone out. One of the pros/cons of being poly.

48. do you have any kinks?

Look, there’s a whole ass list here. Gotta get more specific.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

Probably their voice if I’m actually interacting with them. If I’m seeing them from afar, it’s their hair.

50. how can someone win your heart?

By being sweet to me.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Of course.

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Tons of times.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

If they were down, yeah.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

Like, do I have trust issues? Not really. Is it a big thing for me in a relationship? Once we hit a certain point, yeah.

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

A couple of them, yeah. Not nearly enough, though.

56. is confidence cute?

It’s fucking sexy.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Good for them! They’re living their best life. Fuck jealousy.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Probably not. I love being with funny people.

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

At least one of them does. I try not to make it a big deal.

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I’ve embarrassed myself in front of my partners more times than I care to count.

61. do you want to get married

Not unless the government gets really cool about a lot of things really quickly.

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Lied to people that trusted me.

63. three things that turn you on.

Confidence, a nice pair of legs, and the ability to take charge.

64. who do you hate?

Nazis.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Stardust.

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

Probably some fucking Homestuck characters, I dunno.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both. Both? Both are great.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

We gotta like the same stuff. Also want to get freaky in the bedroom the same way.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

Sixty-nine, eyyyyy. Uh, all of them.

70. are you good at flirting?

Only when I’m unaware I’m doing it.

71. who was the first person you came out to?

My friends in high school.

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

Yes! Several.

73. is your crush wlw?

Some of them are, yeah.

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

Pretty much literally any attractive person. I think about it a lot.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

I wish you’d know me

As I’ve gotten to know you

See me as I am

76. do you fall in love easily?

Love, no. Infatuation? Almost pathetically so, yeah.

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Boy fucking howdy, yeah.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Extremely. I just wanna be friends with everyone.

80. what is your “type?”

Kind people that can slam me against a wall and make me thank them for the privilege.

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

B O T H

82. tall girls or short girls?

I’d love to be with a girl that just fucking dwarfs me in height.

83. hugs or kisses?

I fucking love hugs. And I’ve had strangers tell me I give great hugs, so I wanna share that with others.

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

Fuck, dude, I’d sure love to get twirled.

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

A tummy kiss that transitions into a big fucking tummy raspberry.

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Neck kisses, hell fucking yeah.

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair, absolutely. Too many people are ticklish.

88. making out or soft kisses?

I don’t understand why I need to choose here. They’re both great in different situations.

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Waist! Easier to pick people up that way.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

I’m pretty confident in my ability to be attracted to nearly anyone that’s nice to me.

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies, with blushing only when I get embarrassed around them.

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

Yes and yes.

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

Well, being AMAB, this was pretty early. It took me a lot longer to accept being into guys.

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

There was this one time I just nerded out about MtG for like ten minutes, and she was just sitting nearby. When I saw her, I almost died.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

Rosemary from Homestuck. It’s so good.

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“Are you sure you can’t just pick one person and stick to them?”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

Like six hours ago.

98. what is love to you?

Love is caring about another person more than yourself. It’s wanting the best for them at all times. It’s being happy when they’re happy and being sad when they’re sad. It’s seeing the universe in their smile, and glimpsing eternity in how they make you feel.

99. ask me anything.

Well, this sure is awkward. If you read all this, congrats! You know more about me now than my own parents probably do. Have a great night, everyone.

#me #ask meme #99 questions #this was fun to do

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panticwritten · 5 years

Note

Writing request! Carl and Sawyer (some version of you, I’m not sure where Carl usually fits in) have stumbled into the same dungeons and dragons forum and become closer through battling together (not 100% sure of Carl’s personality, be him not the type for this or totally the type). This can be a silly throw away or warmup up one since it is me.

Okay, so Cherry sent me this like forever ago. I wrote it, they read it because they live with me, but I forgot to actually post it! The name change to Kane is going smoothly, and I’m ready to never think about that asshole as Karl again lmaooooo

So, yeah, Kane and I play some DnD and he’s not subtle about anything ever at all.

I’ll have to wait until after I post this to change the colors of the different people in the text chats because lord knows I look at those strings of chat-text and have a time sifting through it. Homestuck has spoiled me.

Word count: 2270

@asinwolves @avi-burton-writing @infinitelyblankpage @no-url-ideas-tho @jade-island-lives @ravenpuffwriter @spirit-wizard-nerd @steakfryday @alextriestowritestuff @cataclystr0phe @perringwrites @davidvalencia323 @fluffpiggy @dont-trust-the-clogs @authorkimberlygrey @aclassilighthouse @cherrytying

I don’t think Kane knows I know.

If the smattering of ‘kid’ in our correspondences hadn’t tipped me off, it would definitely have been the way he made his character. I doubt anyone else would get the joke or see what he’s doing, but seriously? His character isn’t anything like him, of course.

If he were to be himself, he’d be a tiefling fighter. Either scout (ha) or cavalier archetype. He’d be a faction agent. Making a call between the chaotic alignments might be a shaky one sometimes. His attributes terribly skewed toward charisma and dexterity.

But he’s chosen a true neutral urchin. A mastermind rogue. An eladrin. The attributes are fairly balanced, save for dexterity always hovering above the others and strength a little lacking. Nothing like Kane. Not at all.

No, that’s the point.

He made a character that is exactly what I end up presenting myself as in the damn Cube. How I always play in console RPGs. Behavior just not erratic enough to be chaotic. Snarky and angry, never overtly because of the need to cover every goddamn emotion up. Inconsistent.

I’m not sure when I realized it was him. I thought it might be a member of the Collective when I first got the invitation from an unknown player. With Haz, j355, Hal, and Jax as mods of the server and tag-teaming as DMs, I slowly caught on to Kane’s game.

He’s making fun of me. He must have been playing with this character for some time, with their high level, and I wonder how long he’s been planning this.

It took me a little bit to even realize most of the similarities between myself and the character. My own character, a homebrew ice genesai, a brawler, bonded fairly quickly with them because they’re both urchins and saved each others’ asses when their time in the city overlapped.

He uses my lines, though. The whole ‘I’ll be fine’ shtick and his character has mentioned being a poet several times. After that, it took a few more days of play to start realizing it was him. That it was Kane playing such a long game.

The first time it occured to me, it was a bad call on what the endolin would do. We were looking for the deed to a seemingly abandoned manor. We hadn’t run into anything but low-level scavenging animals. In short, any good player would be a little on-edge and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Halexander (MOD): Alright. The second you both clear the door, it slams shut behind you.Match (SeeSaw): Crap.Videre (ANON): whats in the room?Halexander (MOD): It’s a pretty nondescript room. Pretty small, almost looks like a study with three desks lining one wall and a bookshelf on another. There’s a couch shoved into a corner, looks like it was slept in recently.Match (SeeSaw): Can we roll investigation real quick?Halexander (MOD): Go for it, dude.Match (SeeSaw): 5Halexander (MOD): You notice that, unlike the rest of the place, there’s no dust. The whole room is swept clean of it. That’s it. The epitome of observation.Match (SeeSaw): Okay. Videre?Videre (ANON): nah im goodHalexander (MOD): You sure? Just gonna barge in there?Videre (ANON): the doors locked right what else can we do?Match (SeeSaw): Whatever. I’ll get a closer look at the couch.Videre (ANON): imma look at the closest desk while the kid does thatMatch (SeeSaw): Fuck youHalexander (MOD): I’ll put some form of that exchange as being in character.Match (SeeSaw): GoodMatch (SeeSaw): Now, the couchHalexander (MOD): To clarify, you’re both investigating different areas of the room?Match (SeeSaw): YesVidere (ANON): yeahHalexander (MOD): Excellent.

I was so used to the DMs at least pretending to need time to formulate responses that Hal’s immediate block of text took me by surprise.

Halexander (MOD): The two of you cross the room in different directions, as if by silent agreement. Match is slower, being more hesitant, so Videre gets to the desks first. Before you can do more than peer at the desk, however, there is a cry behind you. The bedding on the couch lashed out and has taken Match captive. Match, a blanket has one wrist and a facemask has bound itself over your eyes due to your proximity when the animation first occurred. Roll Initiative.Match (SeeSaw): Whaaaaat. Not cool. Okay, 16.Halexander (MOD): Enchanted Bedding got 12.Halexander (MOD): Videre?Videre (ANON): am i far enough away that i can stay out of order and keep looking through the drawers?

Uh.

Match (SeeSaw): What the fuck. I’m being attacked here, your rapier would take care of this in like two seconds.Videre (ANON): you dont know that. i have a feeling the deeds in here just give me a minuteHalexander (MOD): You can stay out of the fight if you want, but you still need to roll so we can keep this orderly.Videre (ANON): fineVidere (ANON): 8Halexander (MOD): Thanks for cooperating.Match (SeeSaw): Okay, first off, Match is never going to trust you again.Videre (ANON): he doesnt even know im helping yet. he cant see rememberMatch (SeeSaw): WHATEVERMatch (SeeSaw): Is the blanket pulling on me or just holding me there?Halexander (MOD): It’s tugging something fierce. The rest of the pile of blankets and pillows are writhing as if alive.Match (SeeSaw): I guess I’ll attack the blanket with that dinky little knife.Match (SeeSaw): “you should empty your bag in case you find good loot” THANKS VIDERE NOW I DONT HAVE MY GOOD WEAPONSVidere (ANON): hey you should know better than to listen to me by now kidMatch (SeeSaw): When we finish this, I will find you and kill you.Halexander (MOD): Also canon, in-character dialogue.Match (SeeSaw): YEET, crit. 5 damageMatch (SeeSaw): Don’t think you’re off the hook here, HalHalexander (MOD): I resent that.Halexander (MOD): And that’s including your proficiency?Match (SeeSaw): 6 damage.Halexander (MOD): That’s what I thought.Halexander (MOD): You slash blindly at the blanket. You manage to cut the corner holding you clean off. You’re still blinded, but you’re free to move.Match (SeeSaw): OKAY YEAH I BACK THE FUCK UP AND ASK VIDERE WHAT THE FUCK THEYRE DOINGHalexander (MOD): You stumble back into the door.Match (SeeSaw): Hold up just a fucking second

I scrolled up to reread the chat.

Match (SeeSaw): Can I try opening the door?Halexander (MOD): Unfortunately, you’ve exhausted your turn. The mass of blankets shoots out another piece but cannot quite reach you in its haste. Obviously, you don’t actually see this because: The blindfold begins to tighten around your eyes. That’s it for that, what’s next on the agenda?Videre (ANON): how many of these drawers could i search in one turn?Halexander (MOD): Two.Videre (ANON): how many drawers in each desk?Halexander (MOD):Three.Videre (ANON): ill search two drawers in the first deskHalexander (MOD): Alrighty then. The first drawer is full of vials and tubes. Most of them stand empty, but there is a vial each of blue, red, and orange liquid. The second contains a weathered journal.Videre (ANON): ill snag those three vials and pocket the journalHalexander (MOD):Of course you will.Match (SeeSaw): Can I open the door now.Halexander (MOD): Since Sherlock Holmes over here can’t do much else, I’ll bite. The door, amazingly, shockingly, opens once you manage to find it with the blindfold currently limiting your sight and putting increasing pressure on your skull.Match (SeeSaw): Okay, we’re dumb.Match (SeeSaw): Videre, the door’s open, let’s get the hell out of here!Videre (ANON): im not doneMatch (SeeSaw): Are you serious right now.Halexander (MOD): Better make the rest of your turn good.Match (SeeSaw): K. I cut the string on the blindfold and join that IDIOT at the desksHalexander (MOD): I’m honestly just gonna take that as a free action.Match (SeeSaw): Sweet. Can I search a drawer?Halexander (MOD): You definitely can.Match (SeeSaw): I’ll start on the middle desk, I guess.Match (SeeSaw): I’ll deal with YOU later, VidereVidere (ANON): looking forward to itHalexander (MOD): The drawer holds a dusty lab coat. That’s it.Match (SeeSaw):Why the fuck not, I’ll take it.Halexander (MOD): You done?Halexander (MOD): Just kidding, I know you are. The blanket wraps around your ankle to pull your feet out from under you. Roll for acrobatics to see if you eat shit.Match (SeeSaw): Jesus fuck.Match (SeeSaw): 10Halexander (MOD): You slam your face into the desk on the way down. Take 1d4 damage for that, and your nose is bleeding.Match (SeeSaw): Why are you doing this to me.Halexander (MOD): You chose to let me design this campaign. What did you think would happen?Match (SeeSaw):2Halexander (MOD): While you’re down, another blanket catches you by the wrist. Again. Go, Videre.Videre (ANON): two more drawersHalexander (MOD): The first is full of pieces of metal. Mostly junk, nuts and bolts. The second is empty, so I’ll knock the action down and let you open another one.Match (SeeSaw): IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR HANDS AFTER THIS YOU WILL HELP ME RIGHT NOWVidere (ANON): yeah ill open another drawer. that leaves three left right

They searched every single drawer before helping me, by which time I was almost dead and being smothered by a pillow. They found the deed and I chewed them out on the way back to town. They said they knew I would be fine, they needed to find the deed, and there was no harm done.

Having already seen the parallels this anonymous player was making between their character and myself, I bristled at my computer.

Match (SeeSaw): Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. You won’t stay anonymous forever.Videre (ANON): oh im so scaredVidere (ANON): are you gonna come kick the shit out of me over a dumb game? give it up and find something else to obsess over if youre gonna be like that kidVidere (ANON): im just staying in character

And I had a good idea who was on the other side of the computer after that. Especially after I found out he’d done a covert investigation check with Hal instead of sharing with me. He knew there was an enemy in the room before we even entered. Was likely planning on using me as a distraction from the beginning.

The next time he surprised me, we were working for the owner of an orphanage to find ways to exploit parents interested in adoption. Match goes along with it because why not. Also because fuck adults.

But Videre surprised both me and Jax.

Jaxabandit (MOD): u want to what?Videre (ANON): buy the orphanageMatch (SeeSaw): We won’t get paid if you do that.Videre (ANON): im gonna assume that was in character and not in this whole ‘ooc’ space or whateverMatch (SeeSaw): Duh. The guy’s slimy and gross. But just because you have money doesn’t mean Match does. He needs the paycheck.Videre (ANON): think of it this wayVidere (ANON): if dicks like this werent in power match wouldnt have grown up on the streetsMatch (SeeSaw): That’s not how he thinks about shit and you know it.Videre (ANON): and hes not the one holding a huge sack of gold right now

I didn’t know what to think. By this point, I knew it was Kane. The fact that I asked Haz helps, but I know the way he talks to me. He’s the only one that would do this and keep up with it for so long.

So now, I’m not exactly sure what to do.

Match just died, like D-E-D, dead, and Videre is flipping the fuck out. The two of them had become fairly close friends. They were snarky and prickly toward each other, but they were partners in crime and would likely kill for each other.

Videre gets really scary in the final stretch of that fight.

I didn’t realize Kane thought so highly of my intimidation skills. I didn’t think he thought highly of me at all, not outside of work. I was just a tool and a weapon and something to either give orders to or take orders from.

But Videre is a force of nature toward the end. Being a mastermind rogue, they confuse the ice devil as well as fighting it. They show a lot of skill they didn’t before, turning a few unlucky rolls into happy mistakes. Even they seem surprised when they win.

Videre (ANON): wellVidere (ANON): i guess i know what its like to be you nowThe Old Hazzle Dazzle (MOD): Are you done now, Kane?Videre (ANON): wow cats out of the bagMatch (SeeSaw): You’re awful at hiding who you are, though.Match (SeeSaw): Also, you’re an assholeThe Old Hazzle Dazzle (MOD): Did you want to make a new character and keep going? Or call it quits for now?Match (SeeSaw): I think I’m done. I gotta go challenge Kane to a fist fight.Videre (ANON):gotta find me first

- Videre (ANON): has left the chat -

He’ll have to try a hell of a lot harder than that to get out of actually hanging out with me like a person.

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stimmyvillainarchive · 6 years

Note

WHY does the android app gotta suck so much, when i click the faq link it just like refreshes the page,,,, this happens with all links in bios on the andoird app :[

NNNN lovin this broke ass app.

I’mma go ahead and paste the FAQ just under the cut, hopefully you should be able to read it now :’))

(FAQ is written by Mod Joker)

“Are requests open?”

We get this ask a lot. And while I don’t mind answering, it does get a lilll annoying sometimes since we’re essentially repeating ourselves constantly. Before you ask, please check our ask box! It will ALWAYS give our request status!

From now on if we receive requests when they’re closed, we’re going to delete the message entirely. You’re free to ask again when they’re open, but we need breaks!

“Can allistic/neurotypical people follow?”

Yes! So long as you’re respectful of stimming and understand it’s not an aesthetic or something to make fun of.

“It says there’s two mods, but I only really see Mod Joker post.”

There is! But Mod Boo is rather, well, shy. We both are, tbh. I’ve just gotten used to talking a lot on this blog. And to tell ya the truth I invited her to mod this with me because she considered making a blog but wasn’t sure how she’d do it, and was worried she’d be too awkward/quiet. But she actually tends to see your messages a lot! She just tends to let me handle things. But if you ever wanna talk to her, just say the message is specifically for her and I’m sure she’ll get back to you. She’s very friendly and tbh one of the best people to talk to!!

“How do you make gifs?”

I use the same method stimmybby uses! His tutorial’s right here!

“How do you make banners?”

I use photoshop and for backgrounds (depending on what type of background), I use paint tool SAI. I made a tutorial on how I do it here!

“Can we use your banners for posts that aren’t stim related?”

Absolutely! So long as credit is given and you’re not in our dni, then use it as you like! Discourse posts, art, vent posts, promo posts, whatever floats your boat!

“Can I use your gif/s?”

As long as there’s credit to us for the gif/s and you don’t apply to our dni, you’re free to!

“How can I credit you?”

There’s a few ways! Such as

- Including the credit in the post and/or under the cut (this is the best way people can access the original post and see the credit!

- Include the credit in the post’s captions

- Include the credit in the tags

- Include a link in the post to another post that has the credits in it

- Saying you got the gif/s from us in the post

“What are bad/wrong ways to ”“credit”“ you?”

- Saying “I don’t own these gifs”

- Saying “credit to the original owner(s)/gifmaker(s)

- Straight up not saying you took these gifs from people/including in no credits

- Claiming the gif/s are yours/you made them

If I see any of these I WILL publicly call you out on it and you WILL be blocked immediately thereafter. That block will not be lifted.

“What does REG mean?”

Reactionary Exclusionary Gatekeeper. Meaning people who try to exclude certain queer people from queer spaces. Such a biphobes, transphobes, aphobes, panphobes, and so on.

“What does TERF mean?”

Trans/Transgender Exclusionary Radical Feminist. Meaning radfems who are transphobic and are violent towards trans people (especially trans women).

“What does SWERF mean?”

Sex Worker Exclusionary Radical Feminist. They’re radfems who try to exclude sex worker from their feminism and often treat women attracted to men as less worthy.

“What’s the ADT community?”

ADT stands for “Actually Dysphoric Trans/Transgender” and was created by transmedicalists/truscum to break off from the trans community. It’s an insult to the trans community, an insult to the creator of the transgender pride flag (it’s removed the white that was there for people who ID as non-binary/outside the gender binary), and is there purely to start drama and create rifts in a community that’s already got enough enemies for simply existing in a transphobic world

“He/Him lesbians don’t exist/they’re transphobic towards trans men”

As a trans man who doesn’t think the world revolves around me and who understands that what lesbians decide to do it literally none of my goddamn business: get the fuck over yourself you whiny pissbaby

“What do you mean by people in the true crime community?”

People who sexualize, romanticize, excuse, and/or support serial killers and their actions/crimes. This doesn’t include people who are INTERESTED in the topic of crimes, serial killers, etc but acknowledging how these people are disgusting and their actions are unforgivable.

“Why are you anti-cgl?”

Cause we hate pedophiles and are decent human beings.

“You’re bigoted to kinksters just like homophobes are bigoted to gay people!”

I hate to break it to ya bud but I’m proudly kinkphobic and you’re a giant homophobe!!

“I’m a SFW cgl(re)/littlespace blog so I’m following/interacting uwu”

No the fuck you aren’t!! You’re a kink blog, there’s no such thing as a “sfw kink” even if you’re remaining two braincells are too busy fighting over the last pacifier to tell you some fuckin common sense. Your ass is getting blocked and I’ll also be using your blog to take a look at the people you interact and block them too just for safe measure! Eat a cactus, fuck nugget

“You hate lesbians if you hate TERFs”

You owe every lesbian an apology for assuming they’re all mysogynistic, LGBT+phobic pieces of horseshit like you are. Eat a dick.

“aces/aros aren’t LGBT uwu”

Wow… that’s so wrong Alexa play Fuck You by Lily Allen

“Me/Someone I know/(insert user/s) has been blocked. Why?”

There can be a number of reasons why you’re blocked, and I’m not afraid to block people as I want this place comfortable and safe for the mods and followers. So there’s several reasons as to why.

- You apply to our DNI (see BYF)

- You’re a (insert harmless children’s cartoon) critical blog (I tend to block those due to them saying LGBT+phobic things)

- You get into kin drama

- You’re an ace discourse, pan discourse, bi discourse, and/or overall REG discourse blog (this does not mean I block inherently block discourse blogs! I block the shitty ones)

- You’re a spam/porn/etc bot (if I’ve gotten this wrong, lemme know! I tend to block shady and empty blogs for this reason unless their desc/url/etc says it’s empty/weird for a reason)

- You’re a blog that frequently posts/centers around one or more of my triggers

- You’re an aesthetic blog (though I tend to soft block for them. But this is NOT an aesthetic blog and stimmy is NOT an aesthetic)

- You’re an “anyone can interact” stim blog

- You’re a stim blog that steals/doesn’t credit the gifs they use

- I feel you and I are going to argue and I’m just saving us the trouble of future unpleasant encounter/s

- You’ve been shitty to my friends or just been shitty to people in general and I’ve noticed it

HOWEVER I’ve made slip ups in the past! If you feel you don’t apply to any of these, you can contact me through my main and ask why. Sometimes I don’t always remember why I blocked somebody (sadly there’s a lot of shitheads on this site I’ve needed to block) or I’ve confused one blog for another person’s blog. Or maybe the person was more chill than I thought. Please contact me yourself rather than ask somebody else to do it though so I can get all the details! Even if I don’t lift the block, I won’t report you for block evading or anything.

“You used to be kidheart friendly and now you’re not, why’s that?”

Sadly, Raven (the creator of Kidhearts) has proven to be a bully sympathizer and feels it’s okay to compare agere to kinks/cgl and sides with regressionuncensored. She condones bullying/harassment/the sexualization of minors and I am not nor will ever be okay with that.

“But Raven sai-”

I don’t care what she says. She made it abundantly clear that she supports regressionuncensored and I don’t care that it came back to bite her in the ass. Bullies deserve no support, no sympathy, no nothing. And if you side with her than don’t come near this blog. This is agere safe and I will not allow people who support sexualizing it to interact. Kidhearts WILL be blocked on the spot, no questions asked.

“I’ve left a community on the dni list, can I follow/interact?”

Yes!

“Why are you anti-(insert thing on blacklist here)?”

Camp Camp: It’s racist + antisemitic

Dragon Maid: It’s pedophilic

Killing Stalking: It’s homophobic, ableist, sexist, perpetuates rape culture, and fetishizes abuse

Your Lie in April: It romanticizes child abuse and it literally starts off with a gross pedo joke when we meet the love interest in episode one

Split: It’s ableist

Hetalia: It’s antisemitic

Harry Potter/J.K. Rowling’s works: Actually there’s nothing inherently bad about the story. I just don’t like it. HOWEVER: I can’t stand J.K. Rowling as she’s a TERF/overall LGBT+phobe, and racist. So none of her creations will be featured here.

Sonic Boom: Nothing inherently problematic. I just can’t stand the show because it just fuckin sucks

13 Reasons Why: It romanticizes suicide and the creators refused to listen to actual mental health experts and have made the show potentially dangerous to anyone who even slightly deals with suicidal thoughts/urges

Detroit Become Human: It’s racist + antisemitic

Voltron: Legendary Defender: It queerbaits/it’s LGBT+phobic

“REG is a transphobic term”

I, Mod Joker, am trans. Try again.

“A-specs aren’t LG-”

*buzzer sound* wrong. So sad for you

“You’re not LGBT+ because you DARED disagree with me because you actually acknowledged that tumblr didn’t credit the community sweaty uwu”

We get this shit because a lot of you assume I’m ace or at the very least a-spec. And… Ya couldn’t be far from it. I’m a pan, genderfluid trans man. Even with all your gatekeeper (sorry, BULLSHIT) logic; I’d still be attracted to multiple genders and not be cis. I’m p queer. So no matter which way you slice it, I’m part of LGBT+. Die mad about it.

“You’re comparing aphobes to TERFs and SWERFs you fucking transphobe!”

Wow I didn’t realize setting boundaries meant that I viewed y'all in the EXACT same light. I’m so glad I have the lovely aphobes that have told my friends that they should kill themselves to set me straight.

Asking people not to interact doesn’t inherently mean I think they’re the EXACT same thing.

“Mod Joker is a gif-thief and reposts people’s content without properly crediting them!”

I have made this entire post explaining that’s wrong. Idrc if the post is too lengthy for you. Don’t talk shit if you don’t even have all the details.

Additionally, if you send me somethin about this in a negative light I’m IP blocking you. One strike and you’re out. If you want to believe people with false info and false accusations then that’s your baggage. Not mine.

HOWEVER if I’ve accidentally mis-credited, forgot to/messed up on crediting a person for their gif/video, or so on let me know! I’ll make mistakes, but I never do it intentionally.

#I realized the last link was a bit outdated anyway so whatever #this should help at least!#asks #anon #Mod Joker

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jooheonies · 6 years

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nawar lover no.1 aka user shwhyuk uwu

bloodorangeki said: the lady formerly known as hyuccwoo, shreknu if u will,

send me a tumblr url and ill tell you what i think of them!

hhhhhh ok before i eben launch into this full love essay. i jst wanna say tht u truly are the light at the end of my tunnel sejung,,,,u make me so happy !!! Like i remember when i was losing my mind off of like three sips of pineapple cider and i legitimately felt like i was gonna throw up but then i was like … damn i can’t forget to text shannon and tell her about all this. and then i talked to u for a full hour or so while u called me a liddle babie nd i continuously whined…either way you truly have me under your spell you demon!!

okay so not to be. dramatic but youre so dreamy and pretty you remind me of rain and soft kisses on the cheeks and rose gardens and bouquets of flowers and soft sunlight on flower meadows and like! that feeling you get in your cheeks when you smile too much for too long and you get that permanent blush across your face! god that’s probabaly nonsense and not very cohesive but you have the same sort of colors…soft orange and light pink….you’re like a sunset on the beach right at the start of spring when theres barely anyone on the shore and the whole world feels really big and wide but even though youre all alone you don’t feel lonely because it still feels like the whole world(you) is poised right at the edge of your fingertips.

hhhh that also probably made very little sense but i dont care i love you so much and im very bad at expressing emotion (blame my virgo moon who hasn’t felt any feelings in over 18 years) but i still feel like always showering u in that sweet love and affection, despite the fact that im horrible with words and i have absolutely no consistency. I feel like it’s really rare to meet someone who literally changes your entire perception of the world but … damn here we are!! tlkaing to u is literally a part of my daily life its a part of who i am at this point :/

Anyways, friendships don’t really come naturally to me because I have a very weird perosnality where like. im simultaneously suffocating whilst also being very detached and it turns people off so quickly but..god we mesh so well i truly love you so much. i also tend to not write a lot whenever i make these posts bc im the kind of person who continously says how much i love you throughtout the convo (even thoguh ill ghost most ppl for a few days) so whenever i get around to writing these im like :// but what else do i say :// but this time!!! oooo i have so much to say i can never go into full loving hours with you bc you always turn things around and get me to start talking abotu myself and pretty soon we start talking about how i used to raise rocks as a kid instead of talking about how hot you are :/

so anyways firstly . those were just the intro pragaraphs im finally getting into my loving sejung essay :(( helloooo one of my favortie things about talking to you is how easily the conversation always flows ….us talking about shownus asshole and the questionable consumption of expired jello and orbeez at 3 am is most likely the more demonic things weve done while simultaenously being the more tame things…my head still aches when i remember that giagntic bruise i got from looking at that wonho+tentacles/changkyun+black hole sketch u made… god we somehow always go from topic to topic with absolutely no regard for cohesiveness and yet neither of us ever question it…we’ll spend hours discussing absolutely nothing …like that one night we stayed up for like three hours on rabbit talking about all the different mx stans and which member has the most stans internationally versus domestically and why….icons of developing complex sociocultural theories at 2am while occasionally mentioning “oh wow its late u should go to bed >:/” god its just that I always lose track of time whenever I talk to you…its like im so focused on that I Love Her mood that I don’t even realize its been 4 hours until I look down at my pile of unfinished homework and then back up at my laptop like. This was a Valid choice why would I pick ib math when I have a whole entire sejung talking to me. hhhh its just that talking to you comes so naturally and I always tell you all these quesiotnable things to which you always respond by first calling me a demon and then laughing about it and encouraging my stupidity. it’s also so so endearing that ill tell you about the dumb shit im doing and your first response is always to nag at me to be safe and take care of myself as if ill actually listen to you and clean a cut with alcohol, risking legitimate Pain… anyways sejung? queen of making me feel loved and noticed? MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!!

hhhhh ok moving on now I get to talk about how. sexy u are damn….i remember back when we were first starting to talk and you sent me those pictures of yourself in that button up and I literally. I quite literally almost passed out in the starbucks while the barista was handing me my strawberry lemonade I truly almost lost it…nd right before that I was encouraging you to talk to the boba girl nd flirt nd be all spicie…but then u sent me those pics nd I was like for what reason would she have to impress boba girl when im right here … mouth open so wide in love that all the bobas are spilling out of my mouth :( not to be dramatic yet again when I know ive mentioned those selfies before but damn…those were so hot u unbuttoned like two or three of the top buttons and u looked so hot truly. raw me vore me behind each and every single boba store location hewwwooo u look so intense nd powerful im truly putty in ur hands not only would I lose my mind for u, I have already lost it

hhhhh im very much rambling and making very little sense rn bc its. 2:30 am and im sleebie nd I blocked all social media sites so id do homework bt I kept thiknning abt u so I was like hm the universe clearly wants me to write about sejung more even though ill have to post this in the morning bc tungle is blocked until then :// bt anaywas that also means I get to go into all the other thigns I love about u and all the things u remind me of :(( hhhh its so wild that I never actually aunch into full loving shannon mood bt I talk abt u so much w my friends theyre all. suspicious ,,,,

them: nawar u don’t actually like romance and u hate talking about people r u perhaps dating this girl??me, w hearts in my eyes laughing at smth ure saying on my phone: what

HHHH DJHFKSJDHF TAHST TRULY ME,,,,ALWAYS THIKNING ABT U,,,ALWAYS BEING BIG HEART EYES FR U,,,at any given moment I could be reminded of u :( I see a piece of paper nd im like huh I should do work then again is work necessary to live perhaps not but sejung is necessary to live,,,,me thinking abt u as I procrastinate every single thing ive ever had to do :D Like, ive never understood when people say that they hated a zodiac sign at one point, and then they met one person and they were like oh my god nevermind this sign is perfect but truly,,,I love geminis now ,,,I used to hate them almost as much as cancer nd now? geminis are all good ure so wonderful nd loving nd sweet u being a gemini saved geminis collectively,,

ill also neber stop talking abt how now matter how much I whine and demand attention, youre always jst,,,supplying it without any question like at one point people usually get annoyed, no matter how endeared they were by it at first, bt youre always calling me a baby (even though im older) nd giving me that sweet Love and Attention,,mmmmm my libra sun thrives under ur care :( hhhh also I feel it is important to point out I love. all of u,,,,like I don’t even usually care much for peoples voices or anything unless its like so deep it sounds like the grim reaper bc that’s wild u ,,bt anyways the first moment I heard ur voice I was. breathless I was so shocked like ur voice is so soothing nd warm its like. if the aesthetic of sunlight and honey and warm pies had a voice,,,hhhh im also not the type to really believe in things like fate nd destiny and soulmates and stuff bt that’s kind of what u remind me of ? in a? not weird way hhhhh so I feel like youre just so naturally in tune with people like nothing really catches you off guard and you roll with peoples different personalities and quirks and you always jst. mesh so well with everyone ure like the minhyuk of the internet,,,,nd like!! theres smth abt u that reminds me of balance and maybe its my libra sun always seeking peace and harmony in life but I always feel so relaxed nd steady whenever I talk to you its like . idk how to explain it!!! its jst so comforting!!!

I was originally gonna cut myself off at 1k but its too late for that now and im gonna put this under a read more anyways and its 3am now so I feel like. go Big or go Home!!! now im gonna launch into a long analysis of u! and ur smile!! first of all,,,its so rare nd wild to find someone who likes validating people more than being validated,,,,u finding my libra antics cute???hhhhh tahts so wild,,,,I could pout for hours nd u would call it cute,,,validating!!! nd the fact that you’ve read my writing,,,,excerpts from my demonic wips and youre stil friends with me?? you still talk to me?? damn that’s like. never to be expected any time I make someone read that tangerine fic they ghost me for a good month but I sent you pieces of that tentacle fic and YOU FUCKCING SKETCHED OUT THE LOOK,,,,,MY MUSE,,,nd also you tend to always steer the convo around to focus on the other person n dim a FOOL who almost falls for it every time,,,before I remember and make u tell me thigns…god ive told you so many obscure things from my childhood like that time I tried to eat a brick and yet you still,,,,talk to me,,,,who are u,,,,hhhh ure always so cute nd giving nd caring I feel like I could genuinely truly look like shit nd send u a selfie nd you would still be like WOW GORGEOEUS YOU LOOK SO GOOD THAT’S HOT!!! u,,,going out of ur way to make ppl happy :( anyways im a fool in love w u ,,,also not to be like. one of those old white boy text posts from tumblr but ,,,,hey girl,,,ladie,,,wamen,,,did u know? ur smile lights up my world? ,,,did u know? theres no such thing as u being anything less than perfect,,,why? because its impossible to be anything less than the essence of who you are. hhhh that’s the dumbest thing im ever written im cutting myself off that was too much this is like. 2k words so far and in all honesty I could continue but then id get gushier than that last line and nobody wants to see That,,,hhhh

this started out with. somewhat decent grammar like I used periods and I think I occasionally capitalized the first letter of the sentence but at this point its incoherent rambling it’s the inside of my brain every time I see u or hear frm u its like when spongebobs brain was on fire and all the cabinets and computers were going up in flames and all the little brain spongebobs were losing their mind that’s me right now losing my mind over you I wrote exactly 2k words in that whole essay,,,,im so fucking valid,,,,ananywas I love you if you couldn’t tell nd iim . somewhat satisfied at being able to vent all this love,,,smoochie,,smoochh,,SMOOCHIIE

#shwhyuk #ask game #HHHHH THIS IS SO LONG....#I LOVE U...BABEY...

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kincringeemporium · 7 years

Text

"How Do I Stop Being Kin!?”: A Helpful Guide (Long Post)

so... yup. tumblr ate some of my archive, including one of my most important posts: a list of steps on how to distance yourself from the kin community. as there’s no way (that i know of) to get that post back... here’s this!

how to use the guide: all complaints/problems that kin frequently send when they don’t want to be kin anymore? those are in large bold. each complaint has a list of steps on how to solve it; the steps (my responses) are just in the normal font. don’t see what you need? send an ask saying you want to see it in a part 2!

“I don’t want to be kin with (x) anymore!”

okay! this one centers mostly around keeping lists. and as i said to the most recent anon, the first step toward stopping is wanting to stop.

1. get two separate sheets of paper (or start digital documents you can print later). on one, write “(Your Name) List”. on the other, write “(Kintype Name) List.”

2. fill the YN List first. write down every one of your own traits that you can name. they can relate to appearance, gender, hobbies/interests, mental health, neurodiversity, hopes and aspirations, etc. these do not all have to be good things. try to have a 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 balance of good, bad, and neutral traits. (an example of a bad trait/habit is “nail biting”, because that’s harmful. not “brown hair”. if you don’t like your hair color put “brown hair” down as a neutral trait. it’s not bad, you just want a different color.)

3. fill the KN (kintype name) list next. do not use “i”, “we”, “myself”, in this list becase it’s not about you.

• if it’s a fictional character, write down facts relating to the character’s creation. who’s the author/designer/creator? what year was the source released? what type of media is the source -- a fantasy book, a video game, a movie? emphasize that the character is fictional, not real (add ‘in this universe’ if you believe in the multiverse theory) and cannot be reincarnated.

• if it’s an animal, write down all of its behaviors: does it eat meat? what sounds does it make? is it dangerous or not? now, if you believe in reincarnation, it’s way more plausible that animals can be reincarnated and their next lives can be as humans. emphasize that even if you were the animal in a past life, you are a human now -- it is not healthy to think you literally still are the animal and/or to behave like it.

• if it’s a part of nature, like a star or a tree, write down all the facts about it that you know and emphasize that it is not sentient, it doesn’t have a soul, and it cannot make choices or be reincarnated.

keep the lists with you (as a physical copy/paper).

4. tell yourself that it’s okay to like the character, animal, or thing, it’s okay to feel that it represents part of who you are. it’s okay to feel comforted by it when you’ve had a shitty day or you’re in a bad mood. feeling these things does not automatically make you kin. write these down on a small piece of paper and keep the paper with you.

5. even though it is okay to like the character/animal/thing, slowly start avoiding content that includes it. if you are trying to stop being fictionkin, do not watch the source. stay away from fanfic, pictures, etc, that make you have strong emotions about it.

6. if you ever are feeling guilty about something your kintype did (and this applies mostly to villain kin), you are projecting. whether you’re feeling guilty about your own mistakes without realizing, or you want the chance to fix something/apologize, you are projecting. if you are acting out what you really, really want the villain to do -- ie, you relate to them strongly but they’re not repentant and you want them to be... rp. start a roleplay blog, write a redemption au. look back at your lists again.

• if it’s not a villain, but you’re feeling guilty about something bad your kintype did, still do a bit of rp and keep looking back at those lists!

7. whenever you have “kinfeels” or “kin memories”, look at your YN and KN lists. read them to remind yourself that you are not the same person as the character, not the same being as the animal, and not something inanimate.

8. try new things and (now i’m not saying this to be a bitch) go outside. i mean it. vitamin d is good for you. you don’t have to exercise, but if you are able to, go for it. visit the library, the park, a coffee shop, the mall, anywhere. test out new hobbies, like

• writing fiction (could be about the character/animal/thing, if this is how you maintain a connection with it while not identifying as it)

• traditional drawing

• digital drawing

• sewing, knitting, or crochet

• writing movie critiques/analyses

• jewelry making

• making non-kin-related selfcare

• sports

“I want to get out of the community, but I’m not ready to let go of my kintypes!”

so you’re not ready? okay. this is still your first step. you will fuck yourself over badly if you push yourself to 100% stop being kin before you can function without it. this is true in situations like abusive households or trauma: if you pretend that you’re someone else who’s never had to deal with those things, you are using escapism to let off stress and unwind.

1. change your blog theme. i know it sounds dumb and unrelated. however, having a visual change will make you more inclined to change other things -- and it will start to tell other people in the community that you are able to change.

2. update your about, kin page, and byf. take things like “don’t follow if you don’t see me as (kintype)”, “no doubles”, and kin-related discourse out of those pages. anything that typically appears in kin cringe comps? take it out. (look through my blog for example of typical cringe comp material.)

• don’t say “literally me”, “100% me”, “ID” about the kintypes you list.

• instead of having separate sections for “primary”, “secondary”, “tertiary”, things like that... just say “kintypes” once and list them/insert their pictures.

• do NOT link to others’ blogs saying “this person is my (canonmate name)!” or “i found my (important canonmate)!

• whatever your stance on ace discourse... take that out of your pages. i have no idea why, but the kin community is fucking overrun with people thinking that aces/aros aren’t lgbtq+. removing this discourse from your blog will remove you from another common kin community behavior. (it’s totally okay to post ace/aro positivity, but don’t involve yourself in heavy discourse and don’t put “Aces/aros are/aren’t lgbtq!” on your about/kinpage/byf.)

3. if you list kin friends or kin blogs on one of your pages, consider taking out the links and just describing the friends/blogs. this will distance your blog from the network of kin on here.

4. instead of requesting “kintype selfcare/positivity” from those kin resource blogs:

• reblog aesthetics that remind you of the kintypes, but is not labeled as “(kintype) aesthetic”.

• make some aesthetics yourself based on the kintypes. if you’re tagging, then just use general tags (ie, “kin”, “otherkin”, or “fictionkin”), not specifically the character’s name or the type of animal you identify with.

• write positive affirmations for yourself, such as “i got enough sleep so this will be a better day!” or “i didn’t lie in bed all day so i feel motivated!” or “i ate something healthy instead of junk food!”

• if you’re writing affirmations specifically about a kintype, don’t refer to the kintype using “i” or “we”. instead, write “(character) tries their best to fix wrongdoings, so i will too!” or “(character) makes an effort to overcome anxiety, so i’m going to try harder too!” or “(animal) isn’t inherently bad/gross; it’s trying to survive like me!”

• basically, when writing positivity/affirmations, pick a trait that the kintype has that you want to have too. don’t just say “i have this trait because i am (kintype)!”

• sorry not sorry, but the overwhelming majority of the positivity on those blogs is useless. it might make you feel better for a couple minutes, but it’s superficial. even if the person running the blog genuinely wants people to feel better, they are still operating under the obligation to give positivity.

it is not as genuine as it should be. the person doesn’t know who you are, and they might not know a lot about the kintype. the positivity from those blogs is generic, ie, “even if you’ve done some bad things, you’re not a bad person!” You need specifics, which only you can come up with -- because only you know yourself. when something is vague or general, we think deep down that it’s not true. (btw, that’s the same psychology behind the “sounds fake but okay” meme.)

5. if your mutuals get into kin drama, or if you see kin drama on your dash, stay out of it. it does not matter right now if these people are your best friends in the world, because once the drama dies down, your url is still all over those posts. even if the people who started the drama delete the posts, other people have everything saved. the things you said in anger or anxiety or whatever are still on tumblr. and tumblr has an extremely difficult time recognizing that what someone said three months ago doesn’t define what they say now.

6. unfollow people who have ‘typical cringe comp material’ on their pages and/or people who frequently are involved in drama.

• if they have “ask to unfollow” on their pages, unfollow anyway. if they harass you about it, block them (and maybe report for... violating community guidelines. or harassment). DON’T PUT THIS ON YOUR PAGES. EVER. FOLLOWING YOU IS NOT A CHORE. MAKING PEOPLE ASK PERMISSION TO UNFOLLOW YOU CAN CAUSE THEM HUGE AMOUNTS OF ANXIETY. IT’S SHITTY AND ENTITLED. DON’T DO IT.

7. if you’re going to send hate to antis, i can’t stop you, but for fuck’s sake, do that on anon. (”what!?” you say as you read this post. “but don’t antis think anon hate is cowardly!?”) you just don’t want to be known as someone active enough in the community to send off-anon shit.

8. if i have or another anti/cringe blog has screenshotted your post/page, ask for it to be removed. no promises that other blogs will remove your stuff, but here on kce and over at @only-on-tomblr, we will. having your content up on popular cringe blogs can definitely get you recognized among the community, and you don’t want that.

“I don’t want to rely so hard on being kin -- I want kin to be a casual thing!”

1. first off, follow the “i want to get out of the community” list. you don’t have to stop identifying as kin, you just need to distance yourself from that network of over the top, hardcore kin people.

2. recognize that kin is your coping mechanism. it is okay to use escapism (that’s what kin is tbh) to cope. it is okay to step away from reality, unwind, then go back to reality after a few hours of doing kin stuff/rp.

3. recognize that any coping mechanism is going to be harmful when you take it too far. when it goes too far, it becomes an obsession. (because i am sure someone’s going to say this, i’m not dragging special interests. those are not the same as coping mechanisms gone wrong and this post does not relate to special interests.)

4. guess what? you don’t need just one coping mechanism. and because you’re not completely dropping the kintypes, you need to focus your kin-related energy into a creative outlet. what i mean by that is... write about them. draw pictures of them. do commissions, even for people who have the same kintype. not to mention, if you write about/draw them a lot, you are getting so much better at those skills.

5. optional: it would also help to make lists of your traits and the kintypes’ traits, like in the first section of this post.

6. as with the other sections, do not refer to the kintypes as “myself”/”i”.

that’s about it

Other things you can do

• write a brief analysis of an episode, movie, chapter, etc in which the character/kintype appears. what does the person/being do and why? how do their actions result in the episode/chapter/game/movie ending? how do other characters react to it? and how is this different from what you would do, right now, if you were in the same situation? (obviously no one has to see it, so doesn’t matter if it sucks)

• interact with people who have the same kintype so you can become more comfortable with “doubles” and thus be less intense about being kin

• when you’re watching/reading/playing/listening to new media (’source’), and you begin to have “kinfeels” for someone, step back. put the book down. pause the show or podcast. remind yourself that this is fiction. even if the multiverse does exist, your kintype cannot cross between universes and ‘be’ you. you are most likely projecting onto the character or you are inspired to create a similar character/oc.

• aaand.... here it comes... oh god. oh no. limit your time on tumblr. do not spend all day on this forsaken hellsite.

Things to absolutely NOT do

• post anything like “why did the author put me/kintype in a relationship with a girl!? i’m gay!” all that does is imply that you think you have some kind of ownership over someone else’s character. it makes you look like you want everything to go your way -- and not everything can. i am not saying that to be a jerk.

• ask people to unfollow you. as i said before (now, i don’t have anxiety so this isn’t from firsthand experience), do you have any idea how much anxiety that causes people? and how shitty a thing it is to do?

• harass someone over being a double

• tell them to unfollow/stop interacting because they are a double

• compare being kin to being trans or nonbinary. for fuck’s sake. there’s no such thing as a “kingender”.

- even if your kintype was female in ‘your source’, but wasn’t female in canon... that does not mean you are trans and it does not mean the kintype is trans.

- even if you are trans yourself, it has absolutely nothing to do with you identifying as kin. they are not related. you are a trans person who also happens to be kin.

- things like “canidgender: a gender that feels tough and ready to defend, a gender that makes you feel alert, a gender that....” are not real. gender is not an emotion. besides, these descriptions have nothing to do with gender.

• say that you have dysphoria about your kintype. again, if you have dysphoria, it’s because you are transgender/nonbinary. you do not have “species dysphoria” about your astral ears. just because it’s listed on google with a definition does not mean it’s legit.

• use ‘kin pronouns’ like glitch/glitchs/glitchself. ne/nes/neself. star/stars/starself. it/its. the very concept of kin pronouns suggests that gender is automatically tied to kin. it’s not. and you are not an object.

• send people hate or get into discourse about headcanons involving your kintype

• tag art as “me” or “kin” or “id”. even if the artist says it’s okay, avoiding this is another way to distance yourself from a harmful community. if you need/want to keep a tagging system, just tag it with the character’s name or the type of animal.

• tell someone that they are “your (important canonmate).

• especially do not tell someone that your characters dated and that you must begin a romantic relationship because of that!

• insist that someone just has to remember something that you remember! here’s an appropriate exchange on this.

you: “do you remember when our kintypes had that huge fight, then made up and dated for a few months? we drifted apart and stopped dating.”

them: “no... i recall something different.”

you: “oh. well, that’s okay!”

comments i just know i’m going to get (they’re useless. don’t post them and don’t send them to me)

• you’re policing our identities!

•you can’t dictate how we cope!

• you can’t take away our fun!

• how would you know how this stuff works? you’re not kin!

• ableist!

• go do something productive!

• i don’t care. i’m doing these things anyway!

-k

#long post #very long post #not cringe #kin #otherkin #fictionkin #fickin #kin help #kin stuff #antikin #kincringeemporium #kce #refs #resources #guide #resource #mental health #mental help #coping

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thelettervi-ttv · 6 years

Text

It is easy for me to forget that I am bipolar. And that I can't always handle my feelings and challenges. When this happens I become extremely frustrated with myself and my life. I hold myself to impossible, or unreasonable standards. I forget that I have a disadvantage when it comes to everyday living, even for the most minute tasks. I begin to hate myself, even though I know I shouldn't. It all becomes a living hell, because I become a monster, my own worst enemy.

I stop allowing myself to seek help from others, because I don't see myself as worth it. I think that I will actively damage their lives and our relationships if I even begin to talk about my feelings. I become afraid of the people I am supposed to love. And when I do open up, I generally have one of several reactions.

1. They become uncomfortable, and try to shy away from the topic. Because what are they supposed to do for me?

2. They don't recognize that I am crying out for help. And the topics move on.

3. They mitigate the problem. Telling me that I am making it worse for myself by allowing myself to overanalyze my feelings.

4. They recognize that I need help, and try to help me find a "solution" for the problem.

5. I scare the shit out of them. They immediately assume I am suicidal, or incapable. They encourage me to "open up more", and to "get help".

6. They become frustrated with me. They become exasperated with my bullshit.

In any of these cases, there is always one thing that I am most afraid of. And that is that they will normalize my disorder. They think of it as something they understand.

They know the symptoms. They know that "it will pass". And they become disillusioned. In some cases they begin to recognize my patterns, and they slowly stop listening to me. Because who would when I am telling them the same problems that I have said a hundred times before? The same problems they expect to hear again.

But what they don't realize is that those feelings, those problems they already know I have. They never stop being real for me. They claw at me for years, and they always come back. My disorder makes me feel trauma from these problems perpetually, and they hit me harder every time. Once they forget that, They become someone I can't open up to anymore.

And slowly but surely, I become isolated. I become increasingly more irrational. I sink deeper into the tar pit. Until its damn near impossible for me to pull myself out. At this point my only way of communicating my feelings is by making morbid jokes. Once this starts, people begin to normalize them. It isnt a shocking cry for help, its just another self-depreciating joke from Violet.

Honestly the only reason I can type all of this, is because I am screaming into the void right now. Im not looking at people face to face, afraid of how all of this will make them feel. I can stop myself from holding back when I put it all into text and throw it onto a blog.

Normally I use my containment blog as the recepticle for all of this. Normally I hide my crazy behind a different url, one that isnt revealed to anyone I personally know. But today I can't hide this shit. Today I can't let myself sink further. Today I have to let it out or else I am going to fucking implode.

I am not okay. My medications are not working. My therapist sucks. My home life is nothing but stess. School gives me panic attacks. My transition feels impossible. I can't afford basic necessities. I can't eat so I have lost 20 lbs. I can't stop wanting to hurt myself. And I am bipolar.

What little sleep I get, comes after me crying my eyes out until they are sore.

And I have to deal with this every damn day.

And I have to cope with it somehow.

#bipolar disorder #hm #the queen rants #and all 680 of you can hear me scream #i own one pair of pants for gods sake #and only because my friend purchased them for me #im fucking tired of having to rely on people for basic shit i should be able to attain myself #i have literally 2 people in the world i actually want to talk with #all of this will be buried under the shit you all actually follow me for soon enough #if i make morbid or self depreciating jokes around you tell me to fucking stop #recognize it for what it is. please! i am begging you

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ashtenstitches · 4 years

Note

you forgot the 99 gay ask thing

I stg i have to get on my computer for this

1. how tall are you?

- 5’4”

2. what is your body type?

- “she eatin good” lol

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

- My eyes

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

- Lol no

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

- More shy

6. are you more femme or butch?

- Definitely femme

7. are you tol or smol?

- Smol

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

- Neither because alcohol is icky

9. weird habit?

- I chew on my nails ugh

10. favorite meme?

- The yelling at the cat one. Or baby yoda

11. do you sing in the 🚿?

- No my family is mean

12. ever used a 🏹?

- Yes

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

- Nope I was a choir kid

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

- No

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

- Yes but that’s why I love them

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

- Not yet

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

- Bees?

18. last movie you 👀?

- Uhm I don’t remember! Meet the Robinsons?

19. behind the 📸 or in front of it?

- How about both

20. favorite 📺 show?

- Skins uk

21. meaning behind your url

- its my first and middle name

22. reason you joined tumblr

- I had an eating disorder so I used it to trigger myself LOL

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

- Probs @boymeetswaffles

24. what’s something most people 😍 that you hate?

- Tea

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

- No

26. have you had sex?

- No im a virgin!!!

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

- Yes lol my mom caught me having sex

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

- “I am so straight”

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

- Uh I have a lot of passions lol

30. describe your best friend.

- Silly. Kind. Loving. Fun. Strong.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

- Well for you tumblr people who don’t follow my insta, I own like 30 plants

32. how do you feel right now?

- Good!

33. what is your biggest fear?

- Being alone forever lmao

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

- Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

- Coming out and going vegan

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been 😞 in the end?

- Who hasn’t

37. something you fantasize about.

- Lol well in life it’d be living on the beach in Hawaii

38. last time you 😢 and why

- new years eve, I missed my best friend.

39. what was the last thing that made you 😂?

- My best friend

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

- Yes

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

- My best friendddd

42. the last time you felt broken?

- Last week lmao

43. are you starting to realize anything?

- Absolutely

44. are you more dominant or more submissive?

- I can be both hehe

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

- you are funny

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

- I tend to go for older people!

47. describe the person you’re 😍 with/have a crush on in great detail.

- well I don’t know how to go about that LMAO

48. do you have any kinks?

- I guess lmao theyre pretty vanilla though

49. first thing you notice in a person?

- Eyes and hair

50. how can someone win your 💛?

- Be funny!! Also be romantic!! I am very romantic and I will literally melt at anything even slightly romantic

51. been rejected by a crush?

- Oh yeah

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

- So many times

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

- If I was on my phone I would use the surprised emoji rn lol but no because they have a bf

54. is trust a big issue for you?

- Not so much anymore!

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

- No

56. is confidence cute?

- Yes

57. what would you say if the person you 😍/like 😘 another girl/boy?

- Well I would say I am so happy for them

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you 😂?

- No way

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

- lol sadly yes, sorry man

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

- Yes lol

61. do you want to get married

- yes

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

- Hurt my best friend

63. three things that turn you on.

- Neck kisses, thigh touches, the other person being turned on

64. who do you hate?

- The orange guy in the oval office

65. favorite term of endearment?

- my love

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

- Shailene Woodley

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

- Yes lol

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

- That they are funny lol that is #1

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

- I just like girls dude

70. are you good at flirting?

- No way

71. who was the first person you came out to?

- My boyfriend at the time HAHA

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

- Yes

73. is your crush wlw?

- Yes

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

- Shailene Woodley again lmao

75. write a short 😍 poem to your crush/self?

- Hey

I think you’re really cute

I like you a lot

Maybe we could hang out or something

76. do you fall 😍 easily?

- Oh yeah

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

- Yes

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

- Nope lol

79. are you a forgiving person?

- Yes

80. what is your “type?”

- if they’re a girl then they’re my type lol

81. fall 😴 in her arms or rub her back until she falls 😴 in yours?

- Omg her fall asleep in mine that’s so cute

82. tall girls or short girls?

- Yes

83. hugs or kisses?

- …yes

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

- ……..yes

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

- YES

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

- Yes

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

- Yessssssss

88. making out or soft kisses?

- YES YES YES

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

- Pretty confident!

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

- Oh yes

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

- Answered but yes

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

- I think 17? was when i was like oh shit lol but i definitely had crushes at like 13-14

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

- had an anxiety attack lmao

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

- Naomi and Emily in Skins uk and yes

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

- That I will go to hell/it would be better that I was a murderer than gay: from my mom

97. when was the last time a girl made your 💛 flutter?

- earlier today

98. what is 😍 to you?

- Deep conversations until morning. soft kisses. the little thumb thing

99. ask me anything.

- well you fell asleep on me so there is nothing here lmao

#ask me

0 notes

the-unofficial-force · 6 years

Text

@dcntcommitsuicide asked: 12. What’s the meaning behind your muse’s url?

Another RP Questions For The Mun (always accepting)

Here it is on another post because I am extra and ramble far too much. So here’s an essay on what all the URLs for my sideblogs (and for this blog!) mean, for anybody who was curious:

the-unofficial-force - So this is going to take some explaining... Basically, all of the muses here (my OCs, anyways) are/were from a fanfic universe/series I was planning on writing back in like 2011-2012 when I was in middle school (I might still do this if people want me to and if I ever have time, but, this is fine for now. Also good gravy I just realized how long I’ve been in BBC Sherlock hell... I’m old...). The original idea was that all of the muses here know each other, are friends with each other, and sometimes get involved in their parents’ business in between dealing with their own lives and stuff. Because I wanted to justify this by hearkening back to the original books, I called these doofs “The Baker Street Irregulars”. Therefore, when it came time to pick a URL, I figured the quote where Holmes first coins the term, “it is the unofficial force... the Baker Street Irregulars” would be a good pick.

The rest are under the cut because this got so long and you probably only wanted this URL... I am so, so sorry.

elijahseditorials - Eli’s a writer and his blog is from his perspective/a good deal more personal than some of the others because of how emotional he is. Editorials, of course, are personal thoughts on the world and the people around the writer. Hence, the blog is kind of like Elijah’s editorials. (I had a hard time with this one, so it’s not the best of reasons!)

the-domin-ator - Dom’s a funny guy but kind of innocent (despite being a little shit) and loves puns, and he’s also a rock star/musician type. When I first started out/in the fanfic verse I mentioned above, I set his age as a young teenager with somewhat misplaced/odd rock ‘n’ roll sensibilities, so, I figured he’d try to make up a really, really stupid badass stage name for himself and use it totally unironically, hence “The Dominator”.

singingsoftlytothedawn - Will’s an actor and really into musical theatre, and I felt like “Corner of the Sky” from Pippin (which is also one of his nicknames) fit him and his attitude rather nicely. The specific lyric is, “So don’t ask where I’m going/Just listen when I’m gone/And far away you’ll hear me singing/Softly to the dawn”.

stvitusdancer - Okay, so the St. Vitus’ Dance was what a lot of people called this outbreak of dancing mania/dancing plague throughout the 14th, 15th, 16th, and 17th centuries (I’m a huge medieval and history buff, so...) where people literally danced until they died. St. Vitus is the patron saint of dancers and entertainers, but there’s this huge macabre history surrounding him because of that. Penny loves any and all things morbid and dark (eventually becoming a detective like her uncle Sherlock), but remains completely well-adjusted, pleasant, and happy. She’s also a ballerina and loves to dance, so I figured St. Vitus would fit a dancer who loved dark and creepy stuff.

theotherdilestrade - This one is pretty self-explanatory. Isabel, like her dad, goes into police work at New Scotland Yard and becomes a DI. So I figure there would be a lot of confusion between having two DIs with the same name, and Isabel would have to clarify who she is and how she’s not her father (if somebody expected to have her father consult on their case but got her instead, for example). The scenario I was imagining specifically was Isa and Greg eating lunch together or something and someone calling for DI Lestrade, and both of them turning around, Greg making motions to get up, and whoever called them would have to say, “no, not you, the other DI Lestrade”. Also the URL can sort of be read as Isabel trying to step out from her dad’s shadow while still being really close to him and honoring the work he does.

neverchangeanddontyoueverstop - So Sarah is still woefully underdeveloped and I need to fix that at some point, so I had no idea what to do with her URL. Thankfully, Fleetwood Mac’s song “Sara” has the line, “Sara/You’re the poet in my heart/Never change/And don’t you ever stop” which captures her attitude fairly well (she’s an optimist and has a very plucky outlook on life) so I just used that.

quis--custodiet and forged--in--fire - Ah yes, the cryptids of my blog. Sean and Daisy are a pair of siblings who may get scrapped at this point (but I love them so much...) but are important to everybody else here as they’re part of the fanfic verse I’ve been talking about. Quis custodiet is Latin for “who guards”, and it’s a take off on the phrase, Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?, or, literally translated, “Who will guard the guards themselves?”. I feel like that’s sort of a summation of Sean’s role in the team, as he’s often times the voice of reason and is very protective of all his friends. Daisy loves to do really cool metallurgy stuff (welding, soldering, smeltering, mechanics probably too, all that jazz), and really comes into her own by finding it/something she’s good at (it’s a big character moment for her), so, she was literally forged in fire.

rose--of-the--world - My unannounced, unofficially official Rosie Watson blog! This is just a translation of one of the meanings of “Rosamund”.

lets-investigate - So this is theoretically the home for my Holmes and Watson muses, but, I’m not on here as much as I ought to be. I probably should have made this its own main blog but I got lazy... this whole account is probably going to be going through some overhauling soon (nothing bad though!). “The Other Side of Life” by The Moody Blues always has given me really strong Sherlock Holmes vibes. Like, all of it, but specifically the lines, “The atmosphere on the streets tonight/Is the driving beat of the world/The word down here on the streets tonight/Is the truest music you’ve heard” but I couldn’t think of a good URL from that because all of it is so good. So, instead, I picked the chorus to pluck a URL from: “Baby, baby, baby, let’s investigate/The other side of life tonight/The lovers and the fighters and the risks they take/Are on the other side of life tonight”.

holmesthemeddler - This comes from one of my favorite exchanges in the ACD books, from The Speckled Band, when Roylott is trying to intimidate Holmes and Holmes just gleefully takes the (in my opinion) really silly insults: “I know you, you scoundrel! I have heard of you before. You are Holmes the meddler!... Holmes the busybody!... Holmes the Scotland Yard Jack-in-office!” Also, he does meddle, a lot, and I think it’s a pretty good descriptor of his character.

goodoldwatson - Also from the ACD books, this is from His Last Bow: “Good old Watson! You are the one fixed point in a changing age. There's an east wind coming all the same, such a wind as never blew on England yet. It will be cold and bitter, Watson, and a good many of us may wither before its blast. But it's God's own wind none the less, and a cleaner, better, stronger land will lie in the sunshine when the storm has cleared.” I also thought it complimented “holmesthemeddler” nicely!

#ooc #dcntcommitsuicide #about me #about the mun #this turned out so L O N G #i'm so sorry!!#i tend to natter on a lot #but hopefully it was interesting? maybe?#long post #long post tw #tw: long post #thank you for asking though i really appreciate it!!

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janovec · 7 years

Text

putting this below the line bc it’s so long lmao

tagged by @ruinsrebuilt who is the sweetest sweet and we are also happily married if you don’t follow ash i pity you

i’m tagging @freyja-sonaan @buckcompton @bullrandleman @webgottrash @georgeluz @dustyjumpwingz @johnhalls

sorry to everyone who was already tagged!!!!!

LAST

1) Drink: water you know i stay #hydrated

2) Phone Call: my mom

3) Text Message: answers to statistics homework lmao

4) Song Listened To: chariot - gavin degraw

5) Time I Cried: sometime this week in my sleep i think ://

HAVE YOU EVER

6) Dated Somebody Twice: nah

7) Been Cheated On: no

8) Been Kissed By Someone And Regretted It: eh kind of

9) Lost Someone Special: i’ve lost my grandfather but we were never especially close so it was hard but for kind of different reasons

10) Been Depressed: :(

11) Gotten Drunk And Puked: oye yes multiple times

THREE FAVORITE COLORS

12) burnt orange

13) indigo

14) grey

IN THE LAST YEAR

15) Made New Friends: yeah

16) Fallen Out Of Love: no

17) Laughed Until You Cried: yes but a lot of those times i was laughing because i was so fucking confused about something so they were also somewhat tears of confusion

18) Found Out Someone Was Gossiping About You: no but i’ve definitely been worried about it

19) Met Someone Who Changed Your Life: i think everyone you meet changes your life in some way, but yes i think i have

20) Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: pretty much yeah. being away from most of my high school friends for a year showed me who really matters and also helped me figure out who i’ve met at college is actually a good friend

21) Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: not with in the last year came back to edit this because i realized i did kiss my second ASM for sister act but it was just a peck bc we are friends lmao

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook Friends: 1,059 sorry i’m trash??

23) Pets: none :((( my parents don’t like pets and i can’t have a pet at school

24) Want To Change Your Name: i don’t like my name a ton but it is a part of what’s made me who i am, because of how i’ve been perceived and also just little things like always growing up w/ people misspelling it and stuff so i don’t think i would ever change it, though i do try to ask people to use my nickname when i can

WHAT

25) Did I Get For My Birthday: my birthday is tomorrow so we’ll find out!!! i did order myself a stage management clipboard that is supposed to come in tomorrow though so that is kind of like my gift to myself lmao

26) Time I Woke Up: i set an alarm every 15 minutes starting at 7 so i could get up for my class at 8:30 this morning but i just turned them all off and decided to sleep through my class and instead got up at 9:30 for my spanish class instead ://

27) Were You Doing At Midnight: working on statistics hw, having a minor breakdown in my res hall’s cafe lmao

28) Can’t You Wait For: sister act!!!, classes to end, transferring to the music school (fingers crossed)

29) Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mom: like 2 weeks ago

30) Was Something You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: I wish I had an easily attainable career goal

31) Are You Listening To Right Now: my “songs i heard and liked” spotify playlist

32) Gets On Your Nerves: people sharing articles they wrote on the odyssey on facebook when they are just... Bad like i’m all for people writing what they want and sharing their opinions but i read these articles and i’m like.......you have so many grammar errors and did no research why do u do this

33) Talked To A Person Named Tom: like in my life i think i have idk the most recent time i have though haha

34) Is Your Most Visited Website: probably facebook and tumblr

35) Elementary School: washington??

36) High School: whs

37) College: university of michigan

38) Hair Color: like a reddish light brown???

39) Long/Short Hair: short, a bit above shoulder length

40) Crush: eion bailey and kate mckinnon

41) Do You Like About Yourself: my passion and dedicatoin

42) Piercings: 3 in each ear

43) Blood Type: AB

44) Nickname: aj, alafral, zelski, big mama, baby hands

45) Relationship Status: single yall hmu

46) Zodiac: pisces!!!!!!!!!!!

47) Pronouns: she/her/hers

48) Favorite Show: band of brothers has been for years and always will be lmao. but i also love orange is the new black, but that’s not even near the same level as BoB

49) Tattoos: none yet!! i have lots of plans but i want to do the disney college program and you can’t have any visible ones so the only one i may get before my junior year when i plan to do that is on my ribs i plan to get my zodiac sign and my best friend and gonna get hers too

50) Left/Right Handed: right

FIRST

51) Surgery: none!! i’ve had lots of scares though and i’ve gonna lots of stitches before and stuff lmao

52) Piercing: traditional ear piercing

53) Best Friend: anna

54) Sport: soccer and dance

55) Vacation: holy shit no clue?? maybe the bahamas?

56) Pair Of Shoes: also don’t know but i remember having like red ruby slippers i loved

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: nothing (i probably should tho damn)

58) Drinking: water

59) I Am About To: watch my statistics lecture that i missed

60) Listening To: ultralight beam by kanye west

61) Waiting For: sam to pick me up for rehearsal

62) Want To See: sleep no more on bway!!

63) Want To Get Married: if i ever find someone :/// but yeah one day

64) Career: i don’t have one rn, hope to have some kind of career in theatre production because i’m planning to get a bachelor in theatre arts but fuck i have no fucking clue yall im jus out here like always

WHICH IS BETTER

65) Hugs/Kisses: honestly i was gonna say hugs but probably kisses, hugs from close friends always top everything but when it’s a hug from someone else i feel far too uncomfortable and kissing is fun lmao

66) Lips/Eyes: eyes

67) Taller/Shorter: i am short so i love anyone taller than me

68) Younger/Older: i feel like i usually like being around people older than me?? but i don’t think one is better

69) Romantic/Spontaneous: i’m a hopeless romantic but definitely spontaneity

70) Nice Arms/Nice Stomach: hm idk i don’t really pay much attention to either??

71) Sensitive/Loud: i’m like..both and everyone i like to hang out with are both i don’t think one is better than the other

72) Hookup/Relationship: relationships, i’m okay with like making out with random people but that’s about as far as i’ll go you know

73) Troublemaker/Hesitant: i feel like i lean more towards troublemakers but not necessarily recklesness

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed A Stranger: yea oops

75) Drank Hard Liquor: .....also yes

76) Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: don’t need them!!

77) Turned Someone Down: yeah

78) Canoodling On A First Date: nah

79) Broken Someone’s Heart: ...if i have i didn’t know

80) Had Your Own Heart Broken: somewhat

81) Been Arrested: nope

82) Cried When Someone Died: no

83) Fallen For A Friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: rarely

85) Miracles: generally no

86) Santa Claus: oye

87) Kisses On A First Date: no

88) Angels: i believe in something like them i think

89) Love At First Sight: not really

OTHER

90) Best Friend’s Name: abbie her url is nebulaempresse but i’m not gonna tag her in this bc she’ll make fun of me lmao

91) Eye Color: hazel/light brown w/ some greenish which i think is p much hazel

92) Favorite Movie: forrest gump!!!!!

#tags #about me #anyone else is free to do this and say i tagged you!!!!

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fataziraphale · 7 years

Text

Viktor Week Day 1: Food

For @viktorweek! Set after the Barcelona GPF! Viktor and Yuuri move to Saint Petersburg and pay Yakov a visit! Yay!

TW for fat shaming, talk of dieting and weight loss, and of characters dealing with weight issues. Everyone ends up fat and happy in the end tho bc... come on, I wrote this. Me. Look at my url.

Anyway, Viktor + food is maybe the most important thing in my whole life and I hope you all enjoy him as much as I do

“Oh my god.”

Yakov Feltsman let out a huff of air that Yuuri recognized well: it was the long-suffering sigh a man would inevitably release after spending more than five minutes with Viktor Nikiforov. Yuuri would know. He’d spent the last nine months living with the guy, and had exhaled that sigh approximately ten quintillion times.

But he’d never sighed at Viktor for the reason Yakov was now. Yakov’s eyes weren’t locked on Viktor’s face, incredulously reflecting on some inane, nonsensical, or vaguely culturally insensitive comment Viktor had just made. No, Yakov was sighing at a very different part of Viktor entirely: namely, the chubby pot belly that had settled comfortably around the skater’s middle, one that most certainly had not been there nine months before.

Yuuri bit his lip. He didn’t want Viktor to get self-conscious. Not about this.

Yakov, apparently, had no such reservations. “Oh my fucking god,” he said. “Vitya, you’ve gotten fat.”

No matter how well Viktor tried to mask it behind heart-shaped smiles, Yuuri knew his fiancé could get pretty anxious about his weight. It was only understandable, after all—Yuuri knew better than anyone just how much pressure was placed on figure skaters to be willowy and lean, rather than his own natural body type of squishy plush rotund. But slowly, over the past few months in Japan, Viktor had learned how to drop the masks he always wore in favor of letting his true self out, of speaking honestly and smiling earnestly and being comfortable in his own, newly pudgy skin. Yuuri didn’t want Yakov to ruin all that.

But Viktor just looked his coach in the eye and smiled. “What can I say? Japanese food is super yummy! Have you ever had katsudon? You need to try it! Yuri’s dad makes the most delicious pork, oh my god, my mouth is watering just thinking about—”

“I’ve had katsudon,” said Yakov curtly. “Yuratchka made it for me and Lilia after Rostelecom. But Jesus, Vitya, it’s not that good.”

“That’s because you haven’t had the katsudon at Yutopia yet~” Viktor grinned. “Just wait until you try it! You’ll be singing a different tune, or I haven’t won five world championship gold medals and five GPF gold medals and an Olympic—”

“I’m familiar with the fact that you’re a decorated athlete, Vitya. Stop bragging! Do you want to come in, or do I have to drag you by your ridiculous hair?!”

Viktor twirled into Yakov’s house as if he were doing a skating spin, graceful and controlled. Yuuri awkwardly sidled in through the door after him.

Yakov closed his front door and followed Viktor into, predictably, the kitchen. Viktor’s head had disappeared completely into one of Yakov’s cabinets. If Viktor were a dog (Yuuri hadn’t entirely ruled out the possibility that he was), his tail would have been wagging, hard.

“Ooooooh! You have Alenka! Mmm… chocolate sounds good right about now…”

Yakov stood behind him, arms crossed. “So when are you planning to lose it?”

“Huh?” Viktor emerged from the cabinet, ripping open a chocolate bar. He took a casual bite. “My haircut? I can grow it out if you want… I wouldn’t mind having long hair again, actually. If you meant when am I going to lose it, as in start balding, I might have to run up to the room you’ve prepared for me and start sulking for—”

“The weight. The extra fifty pounds.”

“Sixty-four!”

“Yeah. When are you going to lose it so you can skate.”

Viktor nibbled on chocolate. Yuuri’s heart beat a little bit faster. “Yuuri is a fat figure skater.”

To his intense discomfort, Yakov’s eyes strayed to Yuuri’s belly then, as round and soft as the first day Viktor had arrived at Yutopia (oh, all right—if he was being honest with himself, it was even rounder and softer). “I can see that. I do have eyes. But Yuuri is not my athlete, so I don’t get a say in what he does or doesn’t do with his body.” He looked back at Viktor, who was already ripping open his second bar of chocolate. “But you’re my athlete, Vitya. And I don’t coach fat figure skaters.”

For a moment, the only sound in the room was Viktor’s attempt to open the bar of chocolate. It was taking him a lot more time than the first one had. In fact, it took so long that he got pretty frustrated, struggling and scrabbling desperately at the packaging. Tears prickled in his eyes. He threw the chocolate down onto the counter unopened. Then he ran.

“Viktor!” Yuuri cried. Part of him wanted to go after his fiancé, to comfort him, to assure him he was loved—but another, more foreign fragment of Yuuri took control instead, one that was fiery and volatile. “HEY!”

Yakov looked a little startled. “Da?”

“How dare you say that kind of thing to Viktor? There’s nothing wrong with being fat, or skating fat, or Viktor’s weight at all! So he likes Japanese food! I’m glad he’s been eating a lot of it! I’m glad he’s been doing something that makes him really happy for once in his life!”

To Yuuri’s immense surprise, Yakov snorted at that. “It’s not just Japanese food. Didn’t you see the fucking beeline he made for my chocolate? Vitya’s been a food addict since the day he was born. It doesn’t matter if it’s katsudon or beef stroganoff.”

Yuuri blinked. “Really? But… he was so thin when I met him.”

“Because I’m a damn good coach!! Do you know how difficult it was to keep him from stuffing his face with every single piece of food he came in contact with? Do you know how many different diet plans I had to write up—how many times I had to increase his exercise regimen just to keep up with all the crap he was eating—how many times I had to literally grab food out of his fucking hands?!!”

“So…” Gears began to turn in Yuuri’s head, one at a time. “So that’s why he went crazy with katsudon. Because it was the first time in his life no one had been around to tell him not to.”

“I’ll say. And from the looks of you, you could use a real coach to tell you what not to eat as well.”

Under any other circumstances, Yuuri would have been mortified, and would have quietly crawled into a hole to live out the rest of his fat life in solitude and never bother anyone again. Now that Viktor’s happiness was at stake, all he felt was a burning, righteous frustration. “Viktor is a real coach, Yakov. He’s the best coach I’ve ever had! Sure, he—has no idea how to coach figure skating. Like, at all. But he showed me that I can be a skater without starving myself to get there! He’s given me so much confidence to be happy and myself, and I don’t see why you can’t do the same for him!”

Yakov considered this. “His weight is going to go up further. You realize this.”

“I don’t care if he gains another 300 pounds. Food makes him happy. I’m not taking that away from him.”

Yakov opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a soft and pudgy form padding its way idly back into the kitchen. Viktor’s arms were taken up by an enormous tin of cookies, one of them peeking out from between his lips as he munched. “Found this in the medicine cabinet. Your hiding places are too easy.”

Yakov took a deep breath. “Don’t eat too many, Vitya. You’ll spoil your dinner.”

“Mm? Dinner?” Vitya lifted his knee to balance the tin on it, performing a shaky juggling act in order to whip off the lid and select another cookie. “What’s for dinner? Are you cooking something healthy and un-yummy to teach me the proper value of nutrition?” He worked hard to keep his voice level, but then, Viktor had never been a very good actor. It trembled almost as much as his raised knee did.

“I’m treating you to stroganoff at that place you like,” said Yakov. “Eat as much as you want—I’ll even pay for vodka—but for God’s sake keep your clothes on. I heard what happened at the Cup of China. If you embarrass me in in my own city, I swear to God you’ll never walk a—”

“As much as I want?” Victor’s voice cracked. The tin of cookies crashed to the floor. “I… don’t have to lose weight to skate for you?”

Yakov sighed that long-suffering sigh. “No. I want you to be happy, Vitya. I was hoping that light eyes I’ve seen recently was coming from you being engaged to Katsuki, and not from your own ridiculous gluttony, but… well, we can’t all have everything we want.”

Viktor just stared at him. And then his eyes filled with tears. And then he threw himself at Yakov, encasing his coach in the biggest hug Yuuri had ever seen (other than the ones Viktor usually gave him). “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU”

“Food addict,” grumbled Yakov, stiffly hugging him back.

Viktor just laughed, relief shining in every inch of his features. “Says you! You’ve been an alcoholic for eighty years!”

“I’m not an alcoholic. I’m Russian.”

“You drink enough vodka to kill a horse! Or a really, really fat guy!”

“And I CAN’T have been an alcoholic for eighty years, I WAS ONLY FUCKING BORN IN NINETEEN FOURTY-FIVE YOU PIECE OF ABSOLUTE SHIT”

Viktor was laughing. Yuuri smiled at him, and Viktor beamed back, even as he bent deftly towards the floor to pick up one of the cookies there. Holding a chubby finger to his lips, he popped the cookie into his mouth.

For his part, all this human interaction had left Yuuri exhausted. He was just looking forward to tonight, when he could snuggle up to Viktor, rest his head gently on his fiancé’s fat tummy, and dream of katsudon in peace.

#viktorweek #viktor week #viktor nikiforov #yuri on ice #yoi #bodiekayfanfic #!!

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astrcldust · 7 years

Text

I’d Like A Pizza You (None Pizza With Left Romance)

In which Magnus asks the pizza place for their "cutest delivery person" and an eyecatching girl with bright green hair arrives (thanks to @mortal-apollo for coming up with the name!)

Words: 858

Read on Ao3

Magnus had been drinking before he did it. Nothing heavy or anything, but enough to make a stupid decision or two. And damn, did he make a decision. Whether it was stupid or not, Magnus wasn't sure at first.

The thing was, he was alone at home and drinking. Therefore, he craved pizza. He grabbed his laptop and opened it, typing the pizza place's url into the search bar. He proceeded to order his favorite. Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. He entered his address and scrolled down to the complete order button when his eyes averted to a box just above it. The text next to the box read "requests." Magnus questioned whether he had any requests, before he smiled and started to type in the box. He wrote, "send your cutest delivery person." Proud of himself, Magnus pressed the button and smiled. Until, he realized what he did.

"Shit," Magnus whispered. The pizza place probably wouldn't go through with his request, but if they did that person would most definitely bring it up. Magnus was way too awkward for that. He was also terribly alone. He had Blitz, Hearth, and Sam, but he hadn't seen them in days. Actually, he hadn't even left his house in days and he was pretty sure that was why he'd been drinking.

Magnus laid down on the couch and grabbed the remote, turning on some crappy sitcom that he let play in the background, as anxiety crept up on him. He wasn't sure if they'd even send their "cutest delivery person." The one thing he was sure of was dammit, he wanted pizza and someone cute to eat it with, which may have lead to him making another stupid decision.

After what felt like forever, the doorbell rang. Magnus instantly sprang up and made his way to the door. Damn, he'd gotten up faster than Blitz when there was a sale at his favorite clothing store. Magnus reached for the doorknob, hesitant at first, but he then pulled it open. Once he saw the person on the other side, he froze.

The delivery person had Magnus mesmerized. Her hair was wavy and died a bright green color. Her eyes were two different colors, one dark brown, and one more of an amber color. She wore the pizza place's uniform, but he could make out a pink and green shirt under the apron. A button with the words "she/her" sat on her chest. Magnus assumed to let people know her pronouns, but despite her androgynous appearance, Magnus seemed to be able to tell before he saw the button. Magnus could feel the pace of his heartbeat begin to accelerate. He'd asked for their cutest delivery person. And damn, was she cute.

"Someone order pizza from the cutest delivery person?" The girl smirked. She held the pizza box in one hand and leaned to the side a bit. It was hard for Magnus to let out any words, still in sort of a trance from the girl. "What is it? The button? Yeah, I wear that or my he/him one depending on the day so customers don't ask me stupid questions."

"N-no it's not the button...," Magnus stammered. "Th-thanks for the pizza."

"So I guess you're satisfied with the choice of delivery girl?" The girl said. She winked afterwards, which caused Magnus's cheeks to flush.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't," Magnus blurted out. Now it was the girl's chance to flush a little. Magnus couldn't help but smile a bit when she saw that. She handed him the pizza box, and he gave her the money. Their hands brushed a bit, and Magnus felt his heart beat even faster.

Magnus thought for a moment. He was alone and hungry. He recalled the thought from a while ago. He wanted someone to eat pizza with. And so, he made another decision.

"So, I'm kind of...alone, and I was wondering if...well..y-do you want to share it with me?"

The girl stared at him for a moment, and then laughed a bit. "Is this your way of asking me out?" Magnus felt his ears turn red. "Unfortunately, I can't stop working to eat pizza with you, no matter how endearing your Kurt Cobain haircut is. But, I am off on weekends." Before Magnus could say anything, she pulled a pen out of her apron pocket and scrawled something on the pizza box.

"Oh...that sounds...nice," Magnus managed to get out.

"Well, I need to get back to work. See you later...," she stammered for a moment.

"Magnus."

"I'm Alex. And don't forget what I wrote on the pizza box Mango. Sayonara." And with that, the girl walked back to the car, leaving Magnus dumbfounded. Once the car drove away, he immediately turned his gaze to the pizza box and made out the messy writing.

"Here's to sharing a pizza in the future -The cutest delivery girl, Alex." Underneath that was her number. Magnus smiled to himself a bit. That's when he realized he hasn't made a stupid decision after all. Actually, it was a pretty great one.

#fierrochase #magnus chase #alex fierro #mcga #fanfiction #magnus chase and the gods of asgard #hammer of thor #HoT #magnus chase/alex fierro #my writing

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