#aplmisia
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Being aromantic is not an excuse to be aplphobic. I'm sorry not sorry you have grievances about people not liking you as a friend but you need to respect aplatonics. And stop talking about how triggering it is to you that we EXIST, in spaces we are in. I'm saying this as an alloaro apl who sees a lot of aplphobia coming from aros. Deconstructing amatonormativity is not about making friendship the new ideal or shitting on people who don't perform friendship up to your ideals.
#vent#aplphobia#aplatonic#apl#aplmisia#aspec#aro#aromantic#This is also. Most often from alloplatonic aroaces.
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Apl culture is always being told that the lifestyle choices you're making based on your flavor of aplatonism/aplatonicism (??) (that harm no one and positively affect you a lot) are wrong because "that's not how it's meant to be" :/
.
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Nomination: Dracula from Van Helsing (2004). He seems to me to be hyper both sexual and sensual, but because of a lack of empathy, is romance repulsed aro, and plato-repulsed/plato-indifferent leaning towards repulsed. Ex: always pushing away others that he doesn't see a sexual/mating potential with, and tries to kill them, or use them for his own personal gain with only annoyance at their death. Also, seems to fit because apl's are seen as (emotionally) draining and cold by most like a vampire.
Thank you for your nomination!!! Will be adding him (have not watched the movie but this makes so much sense!!)
(While Im not romance averse and am asensual I am apl and alloaro and hypersexual and have low empathy!)
So I relate to this very much as an apl vampire and I do see my vampirism(sanguinarian) as linked to my aplatonicism. Especially w the tendency of ppl to call anyone they feel doesn't perform platonicism or empathy enough a 'social parasite' or 'vampire' even
-Rift
#apl#aplatonic#apl swag bracket#van helsing#dracula#vampire#vampirism#sanguinarian#alloaro#low empathy#aro#aromantic#van helsing 2004#aplmisia#aplphobia#aphobia#aspec#queer#alterhuman
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PSA to aplatonics from an aplatonic former radqueer: Just because the radqueer community accepts you in ways that a lot of queer spaces and even aspec spaces often don’t doesn’t excuse everything wrong with their community. It doesn’t excuse condoning child rape by providing a space for pro-contact pedophilies. It doesn’t excuse people “identifying” as nazis and abusers and racists and saying that it’s okay because you’re not “actually” those things, you’re “trans” those things (but also trans men and women are totally real men and women). It doesn’t excuse the inherent ableism in being “transdepressed” or “transADHD”. I know it’s hard being called sociopaths and armchair diagnosed with every disorder under the sun. It’s hard being considered the “dirty little secret” of the aspec community, and being called amatonormative simply for living without friendship. But you don’t need to cling to radqueers to be accepted. There are other spaces that want you. You are wanted.
#aplatonic#aplspec#anti radqueer#anti prat#fuck radqueers#fuck prats#ex radqueer#former radqueer#tw amisia#tw aplmisia#tw radqueer#tw pedophila mention#tw ableism
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Because not many people are talking about it, I'm making a post on what constitutes platonormativity!
Platonormativity here refers to the idealisation of friendship and viewing friendship as essential and mandatory.
Im putting this under the cut as this is a long post
[If this personally offends you or you're an exclus or think I am not aware of how friendship is also deprioritised, etc. honestly this post is not really for you lol]
Things that can be platonormative:
-Assuming that everyone has friends, and viewing it as a red flag or a sign of mental illness if someone doesn't have friends, and/or expecting them to be actively looking for friends
-Claiming that one must be 'friends first' before a romantic or sexual or other relationship in order for it to work out
-Treating friendship as inherently more stable and long-lasting than other relationship types
-Using the term friend for people without considering whether they actually are okay with that term or whether they actually want to be your friend, or otherwise considering someone your friend when they are not explicitly okay with that
-Claiming that aros and aces must "at least have friends" or experience platonic love or platonic attraction because of their 'lack'
-Claiming that everyone should have friends
-Profiling people who don't seem to have friends as a "suicide liability"
-Being ableist towards people whose ability to make or keep friends or want friends or otherwise engage in social bonds is diminished by their (physical or mental) disability and/or neurodivergence
-Assuming that everyone is alloplatonic and friending and plato-favorable
-Assuming that no one is monogamous for friendship
-Considering it inherently "unhealthy" or "increasing risk of abuse" if someone has a partner(s) but not friends
-Forcing friendship as something mandatory even when people are toddlers or very young children
-Assuming a couple/other partners are solely "friends" due to them being polyamorous, queer, or other reasons
-Assuming that people who interact in certain ways must be friends
-Treating friendship as something inherently more "wholesome" or as something that can never be used for harm unless it was a pretence
-Blaming a lack of friendship rather than the harmful behaviour itself when it comes to 'pickup artists' and other people who act entitled to sex, romance, or other things
-Calling aplatonics with a connection to romance "amatonormative" for existing
-Treating the dismantling of amatonormativity, relationship anarchy, and aro activism as an excuse to enforce friendship as something that is mandatory
-Claiming that 'aro culture' is basically (insert alloplatonic and/or plato favorable experience)
-Assuming that ALL demiromantic and/or demisexual people must require friendship as the bond after which it is a possibility for them to experience attraction
-Assuming that every alloaro must want a 'friends with benefits' type of relationship
-Assuming that anything thats nonromantic and/or nonsexual has to be platonic(friendship)
-Reinforcing a platonic-romantic binary
-Claiming that friendship cannot involve sex or romance ever
-Assuming that queerplatonic relationships are friendship or always involve friendship
-Looking down on others for not giving priority to friendship or not engaging in friendship
-Media being saturated with friendship and not many media existing without having friendship in it
-Not understanding that people can be repulsed by friendship and/or platonicism
#platonormativity#platonormativity discussion#aplatonic#aspec#apl#aplspec#aplphobia#aplmisia#suicide mention#ableism#amatonormativity#aromantic#bc I discuss those things too under the cut#A bit
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You talk about how its important to dismantle amatonormativity but are you normal about aplatonics?
#aspec#aplatonic#apl#aplmisia#source: uwu friends matter romance sucks aros who are awful abt aplatonicism#I say this as an apl aro#being apl isnt the end of the world. apls existing isn't to worsen your abandonment issues.#people dont owe you friendship just bc thats all you think you have left#apl aro
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Aplatonicism is queer. It always has been and always will be. Exclusionists can shut the fuck up abt it actually
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Aplatonics do not owe you explaining what aplatonicism is.
#apl#aplatonic#aplatonicism#aplmisia#Im just. Upset at people keeping on asking us what apl is literally look it up!
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As a nonfriending apl I think I am really just tired of 'having no friends' being used as an insult or even being seen as a red flag
#nonfriending#platonormativity#nonfriending apl#apl#aplatonic#its late idk what Im saying#but I mean it#its like no bitches but if ppl were serious abt it as an insult.#how ppl end up using it..#some of them arent even ill intentioned! it just makes them sound SO much like aplphobes...#aplmisia#aplphobia#plato averse#plato repulsed#apothiplatonic#aspec
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Every time someone makes a comment about how inherently essential and vital friendship is, they owe aplatonics and nonfriending ppl $500
#aplphobia#aplmisia#platonormativity#apl#aplatonic#aspec#its not the progressive inclusive take you think it is#On account of not being true#It can be essential for some ppl but not for all ppl..#nonfriending#nonfriending apl#nonfriending aplatonic#aplspec#actually aplatonic#aplatonic includes aplspecs who experience some platonic attraction too here
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In light of how some people (including aros!) have been throwing certain identities under the bus in criticising the aro manifesto, I am making this post. Im demiromantic allosexual and nonfriending aplatonic, and lovelustic aro.
To start off, I hate the aro manifesto too and find issue with its queerphobia and romance negativity. However, this does not mean you get to throw romance repulsion under the bus (although Im not romance repulsed and am aro, I support romance repulsed aros and other romance repulsed people!) As it is not inherently romance negativity or queerphobia to be repulsed by romance! Romance repulsed people are great.
Now since that's out of the way, I want to talk about something that is a way even aros shit on certain identities. First of all I would like to say that the aro manifesto literally NEVER denigrates platonic love or nonromantic love, EVER(in fact it actually encourages it while tearing into romantic love). So you are not even making a point about the manifesto itself if you do this.
There are people who don't feel platonic love and/or nonromantic love. And we will always exist. Let's not be hostile to these experiences. It is not wrong at all to not feel any kind of love. Loveless people, whether loveless aro, loveless apl, loveless due to neurodivergence, and so on, are amazing and we should support these experiences!
Let me make that very clear. In fact it is also very okay to only feel romantic love, regardless of your orientation(reminder that some aros do feel romantic love, and in fact it may also be the only type of love some aros feel.).
It is also okay to be aplatonic or atertiary in other ways (Im aplatonic and atertiary myself, also adding that you do not have to be aro and/or ace to be these identities!) and/or feel a disconnect from nonromantic and nonsexual relationships. These identities do not exist just so some aros can feel better about themself by putting these identities down.
Do not reinforce platonormativity by treating friendship as mandatory. Friendship is optional just like romance is, even if you need friendship to be happy (which yes can be possible even though you like to shit on people who derive a lot of happiness from romance or feel way bettee when they have a partner, it is possible to feel a need for ANY type of relationship and that is okay!!), not everyone does! In fact some of us need to not have friendship in our life in order to be happy just like you may need to not have romance in your life for the same reason!
It's not the fault of loveless aros that aromanticism is seen as devoid of all kinds of love by arophobes/aromisics! Some aros fit the 'stereotype' of aromantics and that's okay. Its the fact that people assume all aros are loveless that is the problem.
There is nothing wrong with being loveless and please remember that loveless people still are not even accepted within the aro community. As much as being loveless is a stereotype used to malign aros, the identity itself is hardly respected within OR outside the aro community and you need to understand this. If you only give voice to and respect aros who experience a lot of nonromantic love, you are completely missing the point and are silencing loveless people in the community.
It is also ableist to use ableist slurs (especially slurs used against people with aspd) towards loveless people, especially since some people who are neurodivergent cannot feel love or feel a disconnect from love due to their neurodivergence (and no, we do not need to feel love or be completely devoid of neurodivergence or mental illness to be given respect!).
You will not become acceptable to society by doing this. To arophobes/aromisics, you are not superior to loveless aros, aplatonics, atertiary people, or other people with a disconnect from love or nonromantic and nonsexual relationships . They target all of us. Instead of looking down on people for not feeling love, or for not feeling nonromantic love, support all of these experiences and extend compassion to other people even if they aren't exactly like you in every way.
(Note: the term nonsexual is used here because some people who don't want some/most types of nonromantic relationships may still want sexual relationships that are nonromantic in nature, and I wanted to reflect that in the wording! And also because the aro community does not actually pressure people to want nonromantic relationships that are solely sexual!)
#aromantic#aromantic manifesto#aro#arospec#aromanticism#lovelessmisia#loveless aro#aplatonic#aplatonic aro#atertiary#aplphobia#aplmisia#platonormativity#ableism#actually aromantic#actually aplatonic#actually atertiary#actually neurodivergent#arophobia#aromisia#aspec#apl
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tw for aplphobia and exclusionism
for the blocklist:
(Block this individual (url is greggorylee ) instead of engaging its not worth it. This blog also has shitty opinions on other things. Under the cut is a screencap of an aplphobic and apl exclusionist post by this person as well as the op saying queer is "q slur" . )
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SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN APLATONICS TALK ABOUT HOW WE'RE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST
(Also literally if you're an exclus or discourse abt queer identities get the fuck off this blog)
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non-aplatonic aspecs stop filling the aspec and aro tags with platonormative bs challenge
(I say this as a nonfriending aplatonic allosexual aro)
#In your greivances abt the allorose ppl being a shitty friend or not being friends first w their partners dont fucking imply everyone needs#To want to be friends and have friends and be friends w their partners#If you have a shitty friend communicate or break up is my sage nonfriending apl advice!!!#If someone else is not being “friends first” w their partners NONE of your business. It doesn't make harm inherently more likely shut up#platonormativity#apl#aplatonic#negative#plato averse#“Have you heard of being friends” is platonormative sue me. Solving allosexualnormativity and amatonormativity is NOT about forcing ppl#into friendship or mandating friendship#aro#aromantic#aplmisia#aplphobia#aspec
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The amount of misinterpretation it takes to portray apls as sexual predators istg.. The assumption that platonic only means nonsexual to begin with, and the assumption that someone who doesn't want nonsexual interaction(again not even what plato averse means) is inherently predatory..
#aplphobia#sex negativity#No actual sex negative(I mean negative here not averse) ppl interacting w this please..#Or aplphobes or exclus..#aplmisia#vent#negative
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Here’s an aplatonic LGBallT comic I just finished drawing! My goal was to correct common stereotypes and misconceptions about aplatonics!
#aplatonic#aplspec#aplatonic pride#aplatonic art#lgballt#lgballt comics#aspec comics#aplatonic comics#aspec#tw amisia#tw aplmisia
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