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etherealstar-writes · 5 months

Text

I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 6

pairings: lionesses x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: six

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

yourusername: a little photo dump

yourbestiesusername: i'm really proud of that first pic i took of you, i'm coming for your career

↳ yourusername: oi photography's my thing, go find another career

lucybronze: this is cute. you are really beautiful! ❤️

↳ yourusername: OMG NO WAY TYSM!! you're amazing ilysm!!

↳ lucybronze: thank you! @ yourusername

usera omg. the REAL lucy bronze commented on your post!!

↳ yourusername i am not okay rn

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

the imposter

YOU GUYS

GUESS WHAT OMG

the REAL karate kid

what happened?

lotte

is everything alright?

the imposter

NO EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY

neev

you're kinda scaring me now

the imposter

i know i'm not a woso fan yet

bcuz i'm still incredibly uncultured

and literally don't know anyone yet

elton

yeah we know

the imposter

BUT LUCY BRONZE COMMENTED ON MY POST

I AM SCREAMING

the REAL karate kid

WHAT

neev

WOAH WOAH

hold on

stairway

that old grandma can actually use insta??

rusty metal

that is so rude and offensive!

to that old grandma ....

the REAL karate kid

SHUT UP

rusty metal

the disrespect children have nowadays

unbelievable

well i'm glad she made your day y/n <3

the imposter

thank you!!!

i'm gonna go thrive in my happiness for the

rest of my life for a celebrity noticing me

peace out

lotte

well i'm glad she's happy

willybum

i need to up my game now

the REAL karate kid

me too

stairway

y'all are such simps

neev

says one of the simps herself

stairway

shut up niamh

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

brightness

you know

i just remembered that y/n is still in here

and we don't know like anything about her

at all

door knob

oh yeah

we only know her name

the imposter

i literally only kinda know your names

and that is it

neev

she got a point there

the imposter

honestly i don't get why i'm even still in this chat

not that i'm complaining

stairway

you've been fun to talk to these past few weeks

unlike most of the people on this group chat

who simply decide to ignore their notifications

elton

yeah fr

i didn't feel the need to make a new chat tbh

the imposter

i'm honoured?

elton

you should be

the imposter

uh okay ...

well

i'm 22

i'm a pro photographer and media editor/manager

and uhh i live in london?

idk what else to say tbh

stairway

photography's so cool!

the imposter

thank you!

earpsy

is toone being 10x more annoying

because i'm sick or?

the REAL karate kid

nah she's just that annoying

elton

now that is just rude

willybum

she has an encylcopedia on

how to be annoying

elton

STOP SAYING THAT WORD

wait

guys

neev

oh no

willybum

today on stupid stuff toone is going to say!

elton

oi! i'm not stupid!

the REAL karate kid

you literally thought germany started with j

elton

I WAS UNDER PRESSURE OKAY

anyway as i was about to say

isn't it crazy to think that the money you have

has probably been or could be in like

a stripper's bra or underwear at some point

the REAL karate kid

why does your brain function this way 😭

stairway

wait a sec-

....

she has a point

neev

STOP 😭

that is ALL what i'm gonna think about now

the imposter

never touching cash again that's for sure 😭

willybum

donating all my cash to the trash now

lotte

oh my days

why

just why

meado

WHAT DID I JUST READ 😭😭

part seven here

#lionesses x reader #woso x reader #engwnt x reader #engwnt #alessia russo x reader #leah williamson x reader #ella toone x reader #niamh charles x reader #georgia stanway x reader #lucy bronze x reader #lotte wubben moy x reader #woso imagine #woso #woso fanfics #women football

578 notes · View notes

keen-li · 7 months

Note

Is there gonna be a part 3 for renegade? Please make a part 3. I’m just curious if reader is gonna accept Jungkook. And if she does if Jungkook is going to be a good dad. Also Your writing is really good! Glad I found this.

(I understand if u don’t wanna make a part 3🥲)

Part 3

Thank you so much 😊 I'm gonna make a part 4 cause I didn't want this to be very long. I hope you like it.

Maybe it's your tiredness or the lack of energy but you allow jungkook to hold your child. You didn't want to argue honestly, isn't this what you wanted anyways. You watch as jungkook holds his baby in his arms, he identifies all his features and laughs warmly at her. Before you let him do skin to skin you made sure he'd showered.

"I'm clean y/n. Why would I come see my baby dirty" you laugh and nod. Its true he must've showered well before coming here cause you can barely smell his usual chemical smell. You appreciate the fact that he did take the time to do that for you, or for the baby.

"How did you even know it was a girl or that i was here?" You say looking cautiously at him as he places the baby in to sleep.

He chuckles deciding to sit next to you on the bed. You allow him to not wanting to ruin this moment.

"Does it matter?" He reaches to touch your hand and when he does all the feelings you've tried to suppress flood back. Your really getting vulnerable now.

"What matters is that I'm here and I care now." Normally you'd scoff at that and chase him away, that's what you should do. But you don't, you really want jungkook. You're not sure if him coming here means he's gonna change, you doubt he's capable of change.

.....

Ever since you've been back from the hospital, jungkook seems a little different, a lot different actually. He's been around more and even gives you money for you and the baby. Money was never a problem for him, so you wonder why he was so harsh about not having a child. Over the five months of your baby's life he's been with you to all the doctor's appointments. He'd even proudly tell the doctor that he was the father, and it'd always put a smile on your face which he'd smile to.

"Y/n you're seriously going to let this man into you and your child's life." Hobi, your best friend and the only person who knows about jungkook, says strictly to you.

You roll your eyes and he scoffs at that.

"He's the father, you want me to shut him out"

"He's a junky who's never gonna change"

"Don't say that. He's changing" you defend jungkook. You always had to bust your ass defending jungkook in front of hobi.

"Changing? Are you fucking delirious." You're taken aback by his language. He never yells like this but you're frustrating him.

"Language" you say pointing to your almost year old.

"Im sorry" hobi says finally calming down. You understand where he's coming from. Hes been there for you during this pregnancy when jungkook was not and it hurts him to see you going back to a road that's bad for you.

"I'm not getting back with him" you try and reassure him.

"He's only here for her" you look at your sweet little girl playing with the toys her dad bought for her.

He's also here for you, hobi wants to say but doesn't. He can tell by the way jungkook does things that he wants to get back with you but you don't notice or maybe you do but ignored it.

....

Its been a long day at the park with yuna and her uncle. You were drained, she's honestly getting very active nowadays and you can't handle her. You're glad you've got hobi to help you though. After about two hours of playing on the swings, slides and sand box you decided it's time to go home.

Hobi carries a crying yuna as you walk back to his car.

"You want me to help you out tonight?" he says talking about yuna. He's noticed how tired you've been lately so he offers to help you with your little long haired girl. He always loved looking after yuna, his favourite and only little girl.

"It's okay, I'm taking her to her grandparents anyways for the night." Hobi nods understandingly.

"Let me drive you there then" he offers and you couldn't agree any faster.

For your night of rest, you put on some music and soak yourself in the tub with a red wine. After you're done you wear your silk night dress and throw a silk robe over it.

You're cooking yourself a steak when you hear a knock at the door. You groan, who could be bothering you now.

When you open the door you see the familiar figure of jungkook. He's in a white shirt and black jeans on. He looks so good. You were surprised he was here, he never told you he was coming like he always does. He's got a tiny little gift in his hand and a bottle of wine in the other.

"What are you doing here" you ask and can see jungkook's eyes run down your attire, you feel a little weird dressed like this in front of jungkook. So you pull your robe to cover you further. Jungkook notices and chuckles at that, as if he hasn't seen everything before.

"Uh... I came to see yuna and brought you this" he raises the wine bottle to show you.

"Well I'll take this" you say reaching for the wine bottle first then the cute little box he came with.

"Yuna isn't here though" he looks at you with a concerned look "she's at her grandparents' place" he still looks at you confused as to why she's there in the middle of the week.

"I needed a break for one night... and they gladly accepted"

"Okay, thats okay" you look at eachother not knowing what to say.

"Can I come in". You raise a brow at him "i mean you aren't going to finish that bottle by yourself"

"You'd be surprised the things I can do" you say stepping aside to let him in.

He laughs at that. He's being more kind and gentle with his actions.

"Mmm smells nice in here. what are you cooking"

"Just a steak" you say opening the oven to check on it.

"Wanna stay for dinner" You're unsure of whether you should be asking that but you ask it still.

"If that's an invitation then sure" he smiles "I always liked your cooking" he says making you blush.

"How's yuna, haven't seen her for sometime now and I'm kinda missing her" You're surprised to hear jungkook say he misses her. You'd never expect him to say those words.

"Umm she's okay, she's growing up so fast though." You straighten yourself to face jungkook who's leaning against your island.

"I know right, when you just blink she's gonna be three, then she's gonna ten then she's gonna be a teenager-"

"Okay I get it" you say stopping him "I want her to stay a little girl" you pout and jungkook smiles at that. He loved when you did that always made him wanna turn you over and-

"I think I'm done cooking so let me just take this to the table"

"I'll help you" he says happily. You don't know who this is but it's not the jungkook you know.

While having dinner you simply chat about work and personal life, nothing exciting happening in both of yours apart from yuna. Yuna's been a hot topic of your conversation. You avoid bringing up how jungkook was so negative about the pregnancy, cause you were afraid you might lose this new jungkook. You didn't want to dwell on the past only wanting to go forward. Hopefully he's truly changed.

"Let me clean up y/n. You've already cooked" you two are 'arguing' about who gets to wash the dishes. In the end jungkook wins and you don't mind him doing the dishes.

You stand leaning next to the sink watching him eyes wide open just incase he isn't washing them right.

"Why you looking at me like that" he says jokingly as he sprinkles some water on you. You flinch at the feeling and rumble some childish complaints as you wipe it off. Jungkook laughs at your child-like act as he dries his hand.

"I don't know who's my baby between you or yuna" jungkook say in a sultry voice.

You blush at that and watch as jungkook traps you between him and the island. He's so close to you you can smell the wine from him. You two have been drinking that wine all night leaving only a quarter in the bottle. Lately you haven't smelt that chemical and smoky scent in a while, did he stopped his old habits finally deciding to get clean for yuna. You aren't sure cause you haven't visited his place or investigated him to know, just hoping that he's actually clean now.

"Hm, who's my baby you or yuna" his voice is quiet and soft drawing you into him. Your body moves on its own as your back arches off the island and you're now against his crotch.

"We both are" your eyes move from his now low and dark eyes to his rosy lips which he bites and when you notice that you almost clench around nothing. Jungkook really did this to you, had you round his finger sexually.

He moves to your neck running kisses up and down your neck and all around your throat. You happily let him kiss you wherever he wants, you're not really thinking cause of how good it feels. You haven't had sex with anyone since you got pregnant with yuna and even if you didn't noticed you've been very needy. If hobi played his cards right you would have let him hit but you doubt he sees you like that.

"I've missed you so much you know" he says and the vibration from his voice sends electricity to your core. You latch onto his shirt with your hands as you moan at his kisses. His hands slowly hike up your already short night dress. Jungkook seeing you in this made him want you even more, the silk showing him your perky boobs that definitely got bigger after having yuna. Everytime he watched you breastfeed her he could feel his zip almost break from the hardness in his pants, cause you looked so good that pregnancy glow still on you even after giving birth. Sometimes at home he'd think of sucking your boobs filled with that milk that belonged to his daughter, but he was just curious on how it'd taste.

You release another needy moan as you feel his bulge grow right in front of you.

"I haven't found anyone who makes me feel like you do" he says his sweet words to draw you in and they work because you need this so much. You need him so much.

"Jungkook" you say through moans when you realise he thinks you're moaning his name instead of calling him you push him away to stop.

"What's wrong" he asks looking at you concerned.

"We shouldn't" you say thinking about it thoughtfully. Jungkook knows what you're saying.

"What? Do you have a boyfriend?" He asks so seriously and you shake your head 'no'. It's not like that would change anything for him anyways. He just wanted to know the answer.

"Then I don't see what the problem is." He places a long peck on your lips.

"Im just trying to spend some time with my baby" he kisses your lips again. It feels so good you just want more.

"Do you want this?" He asks to be sure. Even though logic says otherwise you really want jungkook. You want to feel how much he's missed you, you want him to make up for all the times he could have fucked you but didn't. You want him to make up for everything.

"Fuck I want this. I want you. I want you so bad jungkook" and by the way you say his name he knows how bad you want this. And he takes that as a yes to continue.

"Then I'll give it to you."

Immediately he connects your lips and kisses you like there's no tomorrow cause you know this happening again is not guaranteed. He lifts your body and places you on the counter. your lips are still connected as he pulls away.

"You want me to eat you out?" He asks as you're still chasing his lips. You shake your head moving your hands to unbuckle his belt, he smiles against your lips as you finally get it off and pull out his hard throbing cock.

"No I just want you" you say breathless as he agrees and pulls you closer and finally pulls off your panties which were uncomfortably sticking to your core due to how wet jungkook's got you.

It isn't long before you feel the tip of his cock glide against your folds, you spread your legs hoping jungkook would just do it already.

"Are you sure your cunt can still take me" he asks teasingly as he smirks knowing you're impatient.

"I can. I pushed out a whole baby do you think your dick can hurt me" you answer him sharply, breath still heavy waiting for some action from him. He chuckles as he slowly goes through your tight hole. You feel every inch of him, his little veins more noticeable. Has he gotten bigger or have you been needy for too long.

"Fuck you're so tight, I wouldn't even have suspected you had a baby"

"My baby" he says as he starts to move faster knocking the breath out of your lungs. You moan carelessly his name falling out of your mouth here and there.

"Shit" you curse as you grip the counter for some support. Jungkook watches your boobs bounce up and down and he can't help himself but latch onto your clothed nipple.

With the way he's thrusting into you and sucking your nipple you feel that long-time-no-see knot in your stomach. Jungkook grunts as you pull his hair, he can also feel himself nearing.

"Fuck. do you want me to cum in you" he asks raising a brow at a wrecked you.

"Please" you plead not able to formulate long sentences.

"Want me to fill you up huh" he thrusts grow faster, hungrier and the knot tightens.

"Want me to give you another baby?"

"Fuck jungkook" you can barely control your moans anymore.

"Im gonna fill you up so good. Gonna make yuna an older sister" he continues to hit the spot with his fast thrusts.

"What do you think?" He asks you but you cant give an answer.

"Hm? Baby" he presses for an answer and gives you a slap on the thigh to remind you to answer. You clench, jungkook's movements stop for a bit and he knows you're about to cum.

"Where do you want it" he askes trying to keep himself in longer.

"Inside" he hears you say and he chuckles.

"Oh, you're serious about the baby thing" no you're not. Ever since you got pregnant you decided you'd always use birth control. Even though you didn't have sex with anyone you just wanted to be safe, and birth control helped with your periods anyways so it was a plus.

Shortly you feel the knot in you snap and you're breathing heavily also feeling jungkook's seed in you. Honestly the thought of getting pregnant for jungkook is exciting but yuna's too young for it.

Jungkook rests against your neck as you both collect your breaths your hands still running through his hair.

"I missed this" he says against your skin as he rubs your thighs.

"I missed this too"

......

#fanfic #jeon jungguk #jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook au #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jeon jeongkook #jeon jeongguk #jeongguk #jeon jungkook #jungkook angst #bts jungkook #jungkook imagine

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duyungdodol · 26 days

Note

will you be coming back to twt?? I miss ur art and posts. i totally get it if u don't tho. jst wanna let u know that you are deeply missed by many people. i wish ppl could stop treating you like a celeb or someone so important (no offence. u were stressed about that since ur val days, I remember!!) i could tell you just wanted to draw and take life slow ;; sending good wishes!!

No. I will not go back to twitter.

The reason I left is because...

... my life changed for the better after I met very sweet people and reconnected with the other sweet ones in my life. Because of two individuals I met, I found the next location of my life's destination and I learnt what I want to work on. After I met them, I no longer see a need to draw for so many hours each day. It was insane when I realized I don't need to do that anymore, to breath properly. They and all my loved ones have opened my eyes to beautiful and harsh discoveries of life and what's within myself. Yes, this is all praises for my loved ones. When I am to pass away, may these words find them. My love is eternally theirs.

The reason I'll never come back is because... the place doesn't truly encourage or breed any good things that will carry me forward. It won't carry me and my new lifestyle forward. My depression, my daily exercises involving my autism and my artblock at the time, didn't improve there anyway. My temper wasn't improving in such a place, that much is certain too. I am purely living with myself and loved ones and learning much better now without those distractions-- it honestly held back quite a lot of flowers of life and my own growth.

And I do agree. I did not like how many talked or treated me differently and that they bring up my art and followers I had, as some sort of proof that I am now suddenly an important person due to those things. It felt too strange that many agreed with me that I'm just a normal person like everyone else but then they also mention I have a celebrity status to uphold and always remember. This happened to me even before my VALORANT days too. I realize the social media life isn't for me at all. Others probably know how to handle it. I do not.

How I handled people confessing that they want my companionship due to them just feeling connected to my Twitter posts, my livestreams and my art-- it was poor of me too, to be overly and publicly upset at those that see me on their high pedestals and with such high needs of me when I don't want that, at all. Or when some open up to me and, after I open up back with some trust, they throw it out either willy-nilly or without communication. I am blindly overprotective of myself and my heart when it opens up at all and my boundaries.

I take my time and I let life take the lead with the people that I give some of my heart and time to. When I open up and give that, it's not willy-nilly. I get way too hurt and upset when it's all thrown out willy-nilly. I do apologize for getting very upset back then when my heart gets thrown out willy-nilly. It all felt too foreign-- and it seems, it will always be foreign-- for me as I continued that time. I felt like a random person crossing the road and suddenly people want to talk to me or be my friend. Sometimes, they talk and then they leave me be. To that extent, it's fine. Sometimes, they don't leave me alone even after I reached my house or even after I laid down boundaries. Then, they keep coming back. Some became talkative and very clingy to me due to just the paintings or posts I've done. Some gave me their life stories and the reason why they were clinging hard onto me... It was too much for me. I'm sure and know other artists can handle the social media world much better. I praise them.

I always wished to be an artist only. Not artist AND influencer. But it seems people automatically think artists are influencers nowadays. Times are so different now, it seems. I'm not good at social media and how it is now, at all. I'm glad I threw it all out ASAP and if I were to have that kind of world again, I'll throw it all out faster than ever, again and again. It's not good for someone like me to have it.

Back then, I would express immediately that I don't add just anyone on my Discord or other things. I still only wish to add a select few and I will never apologize for that. I will continue to do that and this time, with more precautions and more strictness. I must now always be firm that I'm not a therapist as many others treated me as such. Nor do I wipe away your problems the moment we do become friends. Friendships can or may guide, not solve.

I hope this answers enough as I received many questions for if I'll ever go back to social media and why I permanently left. May this answer them too.

Thank you for loving my art and posts in the past. Thank you for being there too. I love drawing and I love my art too. You now have my Tumblr to see my arts and projects or just what I like, in general. It's calming to draw and live. Always will be, no matter what. For art and those in my life took care of me since forever afterall.

#mailbox

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seriouslysam8 · 6 months

Note

thank you for another amazing chapter. we all appreciate you and your writing so much, and we’re so lucky you take the time out of your day to create something so great.

i started reading this for hinny and i’m hooked because of blackinnon, idk how you did it but you’ve made me a fan of a ship i hadn’t even given much thought to before.

but this chapter!! i feel like sirius does respect tegan and obviously feels warmly towards her, and like he said she’s the perfect woman, but not for him. and he’s staying with her out of a mix of needing a sense of comfort, guilt because his hearts not really in it, but also maybe as a barrier between him and marlene. because he wouldn’t be able to justify not being with marlene if tegan wasn’t in the picture, and like you delved into in the chapter he’s scared to be with her because he cares about her. and that shows to me that marlene is the one for him because he doesn’t feel that way with tegan (at least not to the same extent). also the whole part where was thinking about how marlene is the person he wants to share all the parts of his life with had my whole heart because in my mind that’s one of the most important things to have in a relationship. someone who you not only trust to tell stuff to but also want to.

but ahhh the way you described it all was amazing. as a blackinnon fan (bc of you) i adored this chapter but also i cant wait for hot girl christmas not only bc of jealous sirius but honestly marlene deserves to have her own fun too.

and the scene at the end with cepheus and harry and sirius was so domestic and sweet i loved it

You know, when I started writing Brumous, I very much wanted it to be primarily a Hinny story. It still is. There's still a lot of Hinny. But I'm a thirty-something year old lady so I gravitate and find writing adults way easier than I do teenagers nowadays. So I find myself gravitating to more Sirius POVs and more Sirius centric storylines. The more I wrote Sirius' little love triangle, the more I just loved it.

Anyway, I'm really glad people are enjoying the Blackinnon aspect of the story and I've converted some people to ship them. I find giving Harry two loving godparents just makes me happy because I want that cute little cabbage to be happy, you know?

I'm not going to lie, I have the itch to write more Blackinnon centered stories and/or one-shots in the universe but I don't have any ideas right now.

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twopoppies · 1 year

Note

no, but this. these last few days i was officially in the same city as harry for the first time in my life (went to see him in rio, chaotic and awesome) and even though i knew, deep down, that i wouldn’t meet him, i wouldn’t even see him from a distance, i wrote something in a little paper because, you know, just in case. what if i do see him? so i wrote something like “i’m writing this because i don’t want to bother you too much (sorry for doing it anyway)” and went on to say his music brought me joy and the world is lucky to have him in it. it might be the stupidest, silliest thing i’ve ever done, cringe-worthy at best, and now i’m back in my hometown and so is the note because of course i didn’t meet him.

i always thought that if i met harry i would definitely talk to him (obviously being polite, not being intrusive or rude) just because i’d know i wouldn’t have another chance and because, to me, he isn’t just some famous guy, he is a musician that i love. nowadays, though, i’m not sure i would, honestly. maybe i would just wave from a distance lol

I really like the idea of passing on a note to him. I mean, I really do get wanting a chance to actually meet him and say things face to face. And I’m sure there are days when he’s really glad to meet his fans. It’s just so hard to know if you’ve caught him on a day like that, or if he’s just being polite because that’s how he is, but really you’re taking advantage of his generosity.

Anyway, I’m so glad you got to see him in concert, and I’m sorry you never ran into him. But hold on to the note, you never know!

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daisyvisions · 10 months

Note

I ended up reading through some more of your works (it's how I noticed the reply 😅) and I really do love it! I hope writing can always bring you joy because you really are so good at it (in my unprofessional opinion) 💕

I'm looking forward to your juyeon pieces as well as what you have planned for the other members! and the lack of juyeon content really ie criminal 😭 so we all appreciate the efforts you're going to to try to bring out more of him.

the juyeon thoughts are bringing this convo to a 180 😭 but we all know how juyeon has massive hands (they are absolutely gorgeous). we also know that he doesn't really get mad mad a lot. he's sweet and easy-going for the most part. but what if you're acting up in front of some of the members and juyeon is really fighting to stay in control but soon, he's had enough.

imagije if he just shoves his fingers in your mouth in front of everyone. "since you seem to have trouble keeping that bratty little mouth of yours from running, let's put it to good use," initially just the tip. he knows you're a whore for him and his hands. you're whining around it, trying to take more but his other hand grabs your cheeks, stilling you. "now dear, let's not be greedy. you take what you're given."

the others don't know whether to stay or leave, especially not when Juyeon says "show us what else that mouth of yours can do" either way, it stirs something in you and you're sucking his fingers like it's his cock. you must appear starved but that couldn't be further from the truth. saliva is dripping down your chin. and whilst you're doing your best around his fingers, juyeon appears to pay you little mind, continuing his casual conversation with the others (who are clearly affected by the display). and so, you're left to clench your thighs to try to relieve some kind of tension in you.

juyeon's fingers are probably long enough to reach the back of your throat so when he's feeling... generous, shall we say, he'll suddenly push further in just to keep you on your toes and to enjoy the sweet startled gagging noises as you choke on his fingers.

when he's satisfied with your work (or even if he decides you're enjoying yourself too much), he'll pull out. you probably won't be surprised if his fingers were pruning. he'll draw his fingers carelessly along your line of drool, probably chuckling as you mindlessly chase after him. "where did my brat go, hmm? acting up because we have company. so good when you want to be, arent you?" he'll pull you in close and mumble a promise in your ear, "I'll deal with you properly later"

anyways, that was just a juyeon thought I had recently 🫠😅 idek if it makes sense 😭

i hope everything is good with you! and there's no worries about the response time!! I understand that everyone has a life offscreen-I'm just glad I got to express my joy for your writing 💕

i think for emoji sign off, I might pick the tea/coffee emoji ☕️ though I don't know if I'll be extremely active

thank you daisy!! I hope you have a lovely day 💕

-☕️

Thank you for your kind words and supporting by reading the other fics 🥺 really means a lot esp nowadays when I feel like I've lost my touch huhu

babe.... that was absolutely hot and it's giving ideas... like seriously that would be so hot omg 😩 I might even consider using this as a reference to a fic too (if I may ask for your permission ofc hehe)

everything's okay (I hope), work lately has been so bad mentally I honestly need a break soon huhu but trying my best and trying my best to be more active again here too! hop you're having a lovely day/night!! 💕

#Daisy’s ��️💐#fic idea noted

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divkazkdovikde · 10 months

Text

it’s so funny that five/six/seven years ago (idk how long i have this blog), when i was new on tumbrl and then the few years after, my posts were so dramatic and this blog was basically my diary and then look at my blog now

and honestly, me back then? i was as if from that tiktok sound, yk the one “you don’t have to. i can fucking feel it” yeah, that was me until like three or so years ago, and then me nowadays, looking at those old posts is like “oh she needs a fucking exorcism”

and it’s absolutely hillarious to me, because even tho i’m still as depressed and miserable as i was back then, if not more, now my blog turned mainly into fangirling over marauders

but i have to hand down to my teenage self, that some of the posts were really deep and i can’t believe i was able to put words together like that, when i was like fucking fifteen years old. because looking at it now, drowning in all this shit i’m not-so-dealing with, it really wasn’t that deep back then for the posts to be on that level.

i sometimes feel like i was more mature back then. or maybe maturing is realising it’s easier to just give up crying and being pathetic about it, cuz that’s not gonna help. (lol i still cry and am pathetic but like in a different way yk, in more mature way.)also i’m not gonna lie, marauders fandom really saved my life, so i’m glad i’m where i am. because even though, it’s really shit sometimes, now i’m enjoying the good days and moments as much as i hate those bad ones, and i’m not wallowing in self pity that much now, and i’m learning how to ask for help. it’s as much better now as it’s worse. does that make sense? it does to me.

anyway live love laugh dead gay wizzards.

and let’s leave my old self burried in history, i like this older version of myself better.

(also i kinda pity my old followers, those who started to follow me because of those deep posts, because i bet now when you see some of my fanart and stuff reblogs you sure as fuck are like “where the hell did that came from” yeah, from me, girl grew up a little, she found out that happiness from fictional characters is better than to be that much dramatic. don’t worry, i still can be dramatic, but i use it for freaking out over fanfictions and fanarts now, i think that has to be at least a little bit more healthy, no?)

#i probably make no fucking sense #but its past midnight and i havent have a proper sleep in a week and half #so dont come at me #my brain is a mess #and i tend to talk absolute rubbish sometimes #marauders #wolfstar #saved my life #dead gay wizards #deep thoughts #talkin talkin #my blog #tumbrl #q

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scramble-crossing · 1 year

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that's awesome :-) i totally agree about shobeat vs shoneku too btw, beat barely knows tf sho is other than some guy who showed up and instantly smacked his ass into the pavement in w3. i was asking because i am also aroace but i "ship" some aroace characters with other people anyway, whether in "queerplatonic" (or whatever) relationships or in like, non-reciprocal relationships where the other person has romo feelings and the aroace person has their own values or whatever and they're both open about it and it works. so i guess shipping in my head isn't necessarily romantic/sexual LOL but more like, "i want to build a life with this person." that was my reasoning when i asked anyway

Aaaaay aroace comrad! 🤝

I'm glad you agree about shobeat! I was worried I'd be the only one and this really isn't the hill I want to die on. I agree about shipping though it's a really nebulous term (if thats the word??) like is it strictly wanting two characters to be together romantically? Can it just be liking a dynamic, romantic or not? Idk. I've looked back on a lot of """ships""" I had when I was younger and realized that I didn't want anything about their relationship to change. I didn't want them to kiss I just wanted them to keep doing what they were doing. I kind of just assumed I shipped them because that was what everyone else was doing!

Nowadays it doesn't really matter to me. I don't care about having strict lines between romantic and platonic or using certain definitions. Honestly I'd say I "ship" Neku and Sho, as in really really liking their dynamic and wanting to see more of it, if the word didn't have explicitly romantic connotations. Sometimes it's easier to say ShoNeku over Sho and Neku but I also don't want people to misconstrue what I'm saying, yknow? Especially since that could snowball into a whole mess of looking like you ship some REALLY questionable things. It's fandom slang and it exists for a reason but it can definitely be restrictive if you're like me and prefer talking about non-romantic dynamics. Ao3 has & for non-romo duos but unfortunately I've yet to see the same kind of thing here on tumblr. It would be nice though!

#asks #i have my own idea of what counts as 'shipping' to me but i worry it wouldnt be very productive #since a lot of people use shipping in a strictly romo sense it could get confusing #idk romance friendship neither both in between its all fun!!#im just chilling

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tenelkadjowrites · 1 year

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the hongmullet needs to come back seriously 😭 mullets and wolf cuts became popular so i guess that's the reason lots of newer fans love it! as they should. hongjoong the trendesetter, lol.

twt is a cesspool so i barely used it nowadays, can't say shit on there without people twisting your words. i would say that there's a thin line and many people masquerade themselves as heavily biased, but they're in fact solo stans, i met a few and they definitely lack self-awareness. i think it's fine to be a solo FAN, but a STAN is too much. there are a few idols i really like, but unfortunately their group don't interest me, so i'm a fan, but not a hardcore one.

honestly you're not the only one who exclusively/primarly writes for specific member(s), and it's okay. i also noticed less and less people take requests, cause it can be overwhelming. awww, the numbers can be a lot, but you deserve them! i noticed you don't talk a lot about yourself which is okay, but i'm glad this account opened you up a bit so you could meet some nice people.

omg, you've already posted the christmas fic! and excuse me not hwa jerking off in someone's house with the door ajar, and stealing a dress huh? 😳 man violated that piece of clothing lol! anyways i thought it would be a one shot, so i'm pleasantly surprised and looking forward to the next part

i'd die if hj brought back the mullet but he doesn't seem to revisit hairstyles so i think the chances are pretty low. and for my own mental health, i kinda hope seonghwa doesn't ever dye his hair red again because he had red hair for like ten seconds and i ended up writing addicting kitten cuz of it and my life still hasn't known peace lol. i associate hwa's red hair with that fic so much that i've never written another fic where he has red hair lmao.

i have a lot of friends on twitter so i use it to talk to them/shitpost with them but i don't use it nearly as much as i used to because it's just a total drain. it's funny cuz now i prefer tumblr over any other social media site because it feels the most laid back. on twitter, its just like you can't say even the most normal shit without pissing someone off. did you see that tweet where a woman just shared her joy at drinking coffee every morning with her husband and got a ton of hate tweets sent her way? like wtf.

i don't take requests cuz i never have a lack of ideas, my problem is i simply have TOO many ideas and not enough time for them all. i also used to freelance write for a long time and had to write what other ppl wanted so fics were a way to write whatever i wanted in a relaxing manner and i just stuck with that. (i stopped freelancing cuz it was a lot of work for shitty pay.)

yeah, i struggle a lot with talking about myself in general and on this account in particular i am aware 99 percent of people follow it just for my smut fics, not because they have any interest in the person actually writing them (which is absolutely fine). i've had some people curious about who is writing these fics and have reached out to me and i've made close friends through their efforts. i also worry if too much of myself is shown, it might interfere with reading the fics. (for ex if i listed off my influences, dived into why i wrote something in a scene a certain way, etc, then the reader might have that in mind when they read something from me and it might cloud the story so i try not to state any of those things unless someone asks directly.)

the christmas fic was entirely supposed to be a one shot. i told myself after arrow to take a break with multi chapter fics for my own sake but of course i ended up with multiple smut scenes for this idea and simply must write them all and now here we are with a three part fic lol sigh. that's how it always goes with hwa.

#asks

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tenthstar · 1 year

Text

So last Saturday I got sad and wrote a script I didn’t like at 3am. It was a bit too heavy for a format which is usually quite light-hearted. Instead, I thought I would dump it here for anyone to use. I would post it on Reddit but other people seem scary and this is my house. Have a read through if you want and any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Inviting your android co-worker over [F4A][Sci-FI] [ASMR Roleplay]

Background:

The listener has recently moved to the city as a cyber security technician and is experiencing quite a bit of culture shock. However, they’ve met an android at work that they would like to know better. After a long week at work, the listener decides to invite them over.

Trigger warning: Discussion of mortality, sentience and what it means to be (i.e. existentialism).

---SCRIPT START---

[SFX doorbell followed but the opening of a door - ambient rain sounds]

Hey. I finally found the correct apartment number. [sighs] Has anyone ever told you that your apartment block is needlessly complex?

Anyways, how are you?

Ah, not feeling too well huh? Good job you worked from home today.

And thank you for inviting me over, do you mind if I come in? As you can see, I got absolutely drenched coming over here from the office.

Hm? Oh, don’t worry about me, I can’t catch organic sicknesses. Could you please let me in? It’s freezing out here.

Thank you.

[SFX door closes - ambient rain sounds stops]

Nice apartment you have here. Not too dissimilar from my own, although I wouldn’t leave empty bottles of unbranded miscellaneous energy drinks everywhere.

No, don’t feel embarrassed, it's fine. I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. [slightly sassy] But next time do be considerate of others.

I apologise, you invited me over. Bad manners can be expressed by all living sentient beings, even if we do so by accident.

Sure, I’ll sit down… Why are you looking at me like that?

You’re wondering if you should offer me a drink? Well, whilst it is customary in several cultures to do so, I am indifferent. Whilst I can drink, I don't necessarily need to. Regardless, I would like a glass of water, thank you.

[SFX listener walks away, runs tap to fill up glass with water and walks back again]

It’s unusual that you’ve invited me over, isn't it? We do work together, but you’ve always been distant. This is probably the first time we’ve held a face-to-face conversation in a while, no?

Hmmm… I see, you were surprised that I turned up this evening too? Well, I had nothing better to do this evening. Plus, I have no reason to turn down a colleague.

Is something on your mind?

Ah, you don’t need to apologise for being distant. But are you sure that’s it?

I’m your first android friend…Sooo? Honestly, there’s no need to be so coy. Though you are always this awkward around me.

You want to learn more about android culture? Why? They do teach this at school nowadays.

Oh, I see now. Yes, that makes sense. Android wariness is quite common amongst those who are not city folk. You’re not the first human I’ve met in this situation.

But I understand, as a member of the organisation’s inclusivity team I would be more than happy to help you. Change is important and being open to change is a healthy mindset, so I’m glad you reached out.

So, what do you want to know?

Well, Androids have co-existed peacefully with humans for just over 70 years now. Although it wasn’t particularly peaceful. It isn’t always peaceful now too though. Android discrimination is rare, but not completely ruled out.

Hmm, yes Androids we recognised as living, sentience beings in 2054 after the prominent civil unrest around that time. The world government steps in a brought representatives from each district to the table to discuss the rights of Androids.

From that point, ‘humankind’ as the sole intelligent and sentient species on Earth ceased to exist. From that point on it was ‘sentient-kind’. This included the introduction of several animal species on the list too which were previously unrecognised.

Does that make sense?

How do you know if I am alive? No, I don’t take offence to that. But to answer in kind, do you know if you’re alive? Could you convince me if you’re a sentient, living being?

Hmmm, I see. Well, I for one do not have an off-switch. From the moment I am created to the day I die, I will be alive.

Yes, I am alive. I can feel, think, express emotion and experience sensations just as much as you can. The only difference is that I am a mechanical machine and you are an organic machine.

Sentience can be difficult to prove, can’t it? It was one of the key talking points at the Android Rights Summit all those years ago.

Yes, you’re right. Memories are a part of sentience criteria, so I believe. And I, for one, do have memories.

Androids do have memories. As a part of integration when we are born, we actually experience multiple memories. We androids are born, so to speak, as we are. We don’t grow from babies to adults. But when we wake up are programmed with manufactured memories from multiple lives. We experience our childhood in the form of multiple memories from different viewpoints. This will in turn help us develop our own personalities and how we want to present and express ourselves in society. I, for instance, chose to identify myself as a woman.

Hm? You’re thinking about trying to find flaws in my argument, aren’t you? No, it's fine. Questioning to a certain extent is a healthy attitude. Inquisitive minds are open to change.

Let me answer your thoughts before you say them. Yes, I did say programmed. Humans are programmed too, less on a technical level and more on a sociocultural level. Parental influences, advertisements, the media, cultural norms, and certain aspects of cultural history. These are all types of programming. It happens around you whether you like it or not.

Luckily we living in a time where these sorts of social behaviours are less common. Being able to express and be your best self should be the most fulfilling part of the human experience.

Sorry, I’m getting too carried away. Did you mention my memories? Yes, I grew up with a kind, loving family. I remember it well. I try not to think back on them too much. Happiness and the forlorn can be difficult to manage.

But they’re not real memories? They are to me. Do humans not make up memories of their own? Or misremember, for that fact?

What did you have for lunch on Monday two weeks ago? You couldn’t tell me, right? If you could, are you sure? Are you sure that wasn’t Wednesday’s lunch, or Thursday for that fact?

Memories are both fickle and cherished.

They were not my biological family? I know, but I remember them fondly. I may not have them now, but the memories are all I need.

Will your family be nothing more than memories in time?

As an android, I’ve come to be more accustomed to cultivating a ‘found’ family. Whether that’s with humans or androids alike.

[sigh]

Hm? Why do I sigh? Whilst it can be cute to mimic humans, I am aware that sighing is a signifier of my emotions. It’s one expression that has been programmed into me to make humans a little bit more comfortable around androids. When humans see recognisable behaviours, they tend to be more receptible to them.

Anyways, following the foundation of the Sentient Beings accords, there were still a few troubles. Humans can be stubborn to change. Before the introduction of the new laws, many androids worked in cities as public servants. This meant that human jobs were lost to a lot of androids. This was rebalanced but androids still were present mostly in cities. Hence why those who move from rural areas to cities suffer from android wariness.

Over the past 70 years attitudes and laws have changed to better enrich the relationships between androids and humans. Since the kickstarting of the Russel space initiative 30 years ago, we’re living in a golden age of humans and androids working together to achieve the grand ambition of interstellar space travel.

Though, I can’t rule out some existing bigots. Some people are just that stubborn.

A few more questions, huh? I see. Do androids resent humans? No, not really. We may be superior in every way but world domination isn’t our goal. That’s just silly. A lot of anxiety around androids back in the day was surrounding the fear that humans were being replaced. In fact, most androids are more curious about subjective experiences and our relationship to the world around us. We are so much alike to humans, but can we call ourselves human? If anything, humans are our siblings.

Yes, siblings. Not parental figures. Whilst we are created by humans, we don’t have any reverence towards you. We understand how we are made. Androids are also a key part of the creation of new androids now. In some aspects, we create ourselves just like how humans reproduce. Ironically it was humans that gave us this human-like appearance. It is somewhat like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just like how God made Adam in his own image.

Would I choose to live forever? No, but I can. All androids can choose to if they wish. But statistically, they never do. I think it’s quite simple really. In all forms of observation, wherever it’s cultural or scientific - death is just another part of life. Many see death as the end. We don’t know that for certain. But we would not be living if we did not die. Knowing that your life is finite and that mortality gives meaning to the things we do, to life itself. Family, friendship, love. We cherish them because we know that are precious. That they will never last, to never endure. A being that lives forever isn’t really alive at all. Therefore we choose to die.

Are we afraid? It’s a difficult question. We feel loss, just as you do. It is a question I cannot answer.

Androids do not know the answer to everything. I only know what I was programmed to know and what I have experienced. As you might know, experiences very. Sometimes I find that there is joy in not knowing certain things. It definitely removes that ‘perfect robot’ sci-fi stigma which many human writers used to use in pulp novels.

It’s interesting to see now that the media is currently highlighting a so-called moral panic around post-humans and trans-humans. It’s the same experience many androids felt from these types of intuitions before. We are not the other, we are here and real. Post-humans and trans-humans will play a key role in bringing earth’s sentient life to the galaxy… But society will change its attitude. I hope so at least.

How about you? I hope this has alleviated some of your worries.

That’s good then.

Look, hold out your hand.

[The Android holds the listener’s hand]

See, synthetic skin to organic skin. Regardless, both feel the same.

I’m glad we both agree.

You have one more question? Go on, shoot.

Can androids fall in love with humans?

Ohhhh I see now. I may have a quantum computer for a brain but even I can see that it’s the reason why you’ve been so distant.

Yes, silly, Androids can.

You’d like to go on a date with me? I’ll think about it.

Yes, think about it. I may have a superior brain but I have to calculate every possible scenario before making a decision. Gut feeling, it’s one thing we androids do lack. I hope you have something nice planned.

In the meantime, shall we order some food? I always have a craving for teriyaki noodles when it’s raining outside.

--SCRIPT END--

#asmr #roleplay #script #asmr scripts #this one is kinda trash #but I do have a slight soft spot for it

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addictedtostorytelling · 2 years

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Hey, can I ask you a question about your blog itself?

Apologies if this is half-formed, but I’ve been thinking a lot about online/fandom spaces and what I want out of them. You’ve filled this blog with so much wonderful work, but at least to me it doesn’t feel overwhelming. It doesn’t seem to want to demand my attention in an endless, black-hole kind of way. I find it “quiet” if that makes sense. Not literally, because most of tumblr is literally silent, but like…mentally. Mentally quiet.

I’m wondering if you have any thoughts or advice about engaging in one’s interests online (particularly on the—and I use the term loosely and with mild disdain—‘content creation’ side of things) without getting lost in it. Or only getting lost in the good, fun, I’m-getting-genuine-joy-from-this kind of way.

I want to get better at being able to make things (and give myself the time and space to do so) without feeling like I have to find a way to eventually monetize it or grow it until it becomes a “thing” or else it isn’t worth my time to do. I guess I’ve spent my whole life trying to prove my interests are valuable, and now I can’t stop.

Anyway, since you are probably the only person with whom I am personally vaguely acquainted who seems like they’ve done that/built a space like that, I thought I’d ask.

PS, I’ve now discovered there’s not a 500 character limit in the ask box on mobile. Sorry in advance.

hi, @clintbeifong!

first off, thank you so much for your very kind words. i am so glad to know that you enjoy my blog in the way that you described; i love the idea that it’s a nice, quiet place for you.

second, i’ve spent the last several days considering what you’ve asked, trying to come up with a thoughtful response, and after all of my consideration, i’m still not sure that i have much practical advice to offer, in terms of specific “do this” or “don’t do that” kinds of rules you might follow.

instead, what i do have are some rambling thoughts on art and its value, which i hope at least somewhat apply to the topic at hand:

it isn’t at all surprising that you feel pressure to monetize your fanworks, because, honestly, that’s how things are nowadays—everyone is supposed to have a “side hustle;” we’re all expected to be “on the grind” as much as possible; with the advent of streaming and self-publication, activities that were once solely recreational (like playing video games or journaling) can now effectively be marketed; there is very little separation between the professional and private self, when employers and potential employers have access to your social media accounts and are constantly evaluating what you post in terms of how it relates to their brand.

that feeling of “if i can’t use it to make money or gain exposure, i'm wasting my time” is part and parcel of living in a late capitalist society.

but here’s the thing: art needs time and room to breathe, and the "payoff" from making art isn't always immediate.

obviously, there are times when making art can be profitable and can help you gain exposure. but it can’t be that way all the time—even for artists who are at the top of their games, who make their livings making art.

think about it: for every one famous da vinci* painting, there were notebooks full of his sketch work—line drawings which he, at the time that he was alive, had no intention that anyone but he and maybe his students and intimate acquaintances would ever, ever see. while some of it was draft work for commissioned pieces he would later profit from, a lot of it was much more aimless practice, and, in the cases of some of his more fanciful “invention” blueprint sketches, was just for fun.

* note that i'm choosing da vinci arbitrarily here. the same could be said of any number of artists, writers, musicians, etc.

while that work was half-formed and never meant for public consumption, was it less valuable to da vinci than his finished, “published” works, like the last supper?

though i can’t speak for the man, i have a feeling that if you asked him, he’d say no.

that work was practice.

that work was fun.

and practice and fun are two things that are crucial for every artist, no matter at what level or in what sphere they’re working.

so here’s the thing: fanart can make you money.

particularly, in your case, one of your multiple talents is making—lovely!—visual fanart, which is perhaps the genre of fanwork that best lends itself to monetization.

that means, in theory, you could profit from your work here—and lots of fanartists on tumblr and other sites do just that.

but even if you don’t make money with your fanart—if that’s not something you can do or that you want to do, even if the option is available to you—that doesn’t mean that your fanworks aren’t valuable on other grounds.

when you’re drawing lovely digital comics of cj cregg and danny concannon dancing, your hand doesn’t know the difference between that activity and working on a piece for your professional portfolio (if you have one).

it all still counts as practice—maybe focusing on different elements of the art than were you doing commercial work, sure, but practice all the same. it all acts in service to you getting to know yourself and your craft, developing habits, problem-solving, refining your techniques, etc., etc.

—and it does all of those things in addition to something else, which is allowing you to have a place to play.

with fanworks—whether they be visual art or gifs or fic or meta or memes—you get to experiment without worrying what an editor or employer might think. you get to follow your muse. make things on a whim. fix other people’s mistakes. make mistakes of your own with really no consequence.

while certainly there are occasions to do those same things in art in other circumstances, as well, in fandom, that’s the reg; that’s the function.

you get to play around and make things to suit yourself.

fanwork can—and, honestly, should—be totally self-indulgent.

you want to draw a million versions of the same couple kissing? go for it! write a bizarre au that will make sense to no one but you and maybe one other person who once had the same very niche summer job you did and happens to be in the same fandom? knock yourself out!

da vinci had his flying machines, and we have blorbos and “but there was only one bed!” tropes.

having that playground will benefit you, both by giving you a mental space in which to mess around and figure things out about your art AND by enriching your brain, helping you not to burn out.

having fun is an integral part of being creative.

so grant yourself permission to do it.

it’s okay to monetize your fanworks if that’s what you want or need to do—of course, paying attention to and respecting copyright law as necessary, so you don’t get your ass sued—but it’s also okay not to or not to monetize every piece. it's okay to draw or write or gif or analyze or meme something that will net you nothing more than maybe a few notes and a sense of personal satisfaction because doing so will benefit you in the long run, as an artist and as a person.

you’re not wasting time or effort because your talent isn’t a limited resource.

if it’s something that makes you happy to do, then that’s justification enough in itself to do it.

god knows the world can be miserable enough without us refusing ourselves access to what few outlets we have for joy.

now.

all of the above said, if making fanworks has ceased to make you happy, and if doing so is now something that feels like a chore to you, then the great thing about fandom is that you also have no obligation to produce content for it.

go play on another playground for a while! reblog other people's work without making any of your own. or step away completely! get back into your favorite video game or read a book or plan a birdwatching outing or do whatever it is that gives your brain a rest.

fanwork isn’t a job, and you don’t have to do it if it isn’t gratifying. you owe no one anything with it but yourself. you can always come back to it later if you want to.

and i guarantee: even if it’s been years, the second you update that wip, someone is going to be happy to get that notification. it doesn’t matter that half a decade has passed since you last posted a chapter.

if there is a sense of quietude or relaxation to my blog, it is because, at the end of the day, i make the gifsets i want to look at, i write the stories i want to read, and i ramble out the meta that helps me to make sense of the shows i like.

of course, i am always happy—thrilled!—when other people enjoy my work.

bringing others happiness is a unique pleasure.

but, ultimately, i’d still be giffing and writing stories and meta about two geeky middle-aged scientists in love and a bunch of overworked, underpaid doctors in chicago even if nobody else wanted to look at or read them because that’s what makes me happy.

i won’t pretend that it’s always easy not to care about the “rat race” aspect of it all—in my life outside of the internet, i'm a college english professor whose specialization is creative writing, so i absolutely understand the experience of opening up a wip doc for one of my fics and immediately feeling guilty for doing so because shouldn’t i be working on something i can actually publish under my own name, that i can potentially make money off of and that will help me someday get tenure????—but i do still firmly believe that no instance of making art is ever wasted and that there is inherent value in engaging in the act of collective storytelling that is fandom, even if it's not "profitable" to do so, in the traditional sense.

i don’t know that anything i've said here will prove useful to you, but, speaking solely as a fan of your work, i wish you well in your creative endeavors.

i hope your able to find a way to get what you want to out of your creative process and be happy with how you engage with fandom (or not).

thank you very much for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

#answered #clintbeifong

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halleymacleod666 · 2 years

Text

Hello guys, it's been a while.

I just want to do a rant on beauty standards cause I'm so fucking annoyed.

(Soon I'll be back on tumblr more often and I'll update you on how I've been doing with my weight and all)

Anyway yeah I'm so tired of everyone expecting perfection from me (including myself here)

What society has come to is just sad and honestly kinda outrageous. I'm willing to argue that the 90's and early 2000's beauty ideals were less toxic than today. I'm talking about the super super skinny Era (heroin chic too). Like yes girls were starving themselves back then to be thin, but that's pretty much all they were expected to do to be "ideal". Nowadays if you wanna be what is considered "perfect" you need butt lifts and/or implants, boob jobs, lip fillers, nose jobs, face lifts, liposuction, cheek fillers, brow lifts and on top of that you need to follow a strict "healthy" diet and workout 2 hours a day. OH BUT EVEN THAT IS NOT ENOUGH, BECAUSE CELEBRITIES AND INFLUENCERS WHO SPENT ALL THAT MONEY ON PLASTIC SURGERY AND PERSONAL TRAINERS STILL AREN'T SATISFIED AND THEN GO ON AN EDIT ALL THEIR GOD DAMN PHOTOS TO THE POINT THEY LOOK NOTHING LIKE THEY DO IN REAL LIFE.

It fucking bothers me that everyone looks so fucking perfect on social media and comperatively me and every other normal looking person that didn't spend 200000$ for plastic to be pumped into them looks like shit. And it's toxic af that all those influencers claim they are completely natural just to "pump" their ego up. Like okay get plastic surgery but at least fucking admit it, it's obvious, don't bullshit me that you "worked out" for 2 months and magically lost 5 inches off your waist and gained 10 inches on your butt.

My fucking boyfriend also like buys into that "I'm all natural" crap, and sends me like workout videos and progress girls made through working out. It fucking upsets me. They are not fucking real. Like don't fucking send me a video of a girl doing 30 squats and then magically a year later her butt is 10 times bigger while her legs and waist got 3 times smaller. Like how dumb are you. He won't let me get plastic surgery (like I wanted a nose job bc I hate my nose and I've been bullied for it) but he says he doesn't want me to get anything and that natural is better and that he'll leave me if I get plastic surgery and then fucking shows me a picture of a girl that's faker than Kim kardashian! Like bro make up your mind.

Anyway yeah it fucking hurts to be compared to those girls. I'm honestly so fucking glad that the heroin chic starvation is coming back. I don't think body types should be trends, I think the whole culture around beauty standards is disgusting but I hate my body so much now and I hate myself for not looking like the girls on instagram so at least with the super skinny coming back it's something that's more achievable and at least I will feel better about myself when I reach that standard.

#anorexik #eating disoder things #tw ed rant #thinner is better #model thin #tw ed diet #meanspp #4a4

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leewonkyeom · 7 months

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Personally i like woosung's vocals but i also kinda get why you can't get into it and speaking of biases I have to ask who are your bias from the groups you stan? Honestly if the group has more than 5 members it's impossible to have just one bias (especially in groups like nct and svt)

I'm so glad you liked that one and dw baby don't like it is such a neo classic every czennie must know it so i assumed you already know! I need them to put out more songs like 'faded in my last song' and '7th sense'! (Nct discography is something else even as an ancient czennie I'm pretty sure there are songs even i haven't heard yet 😭)

So glad we both relate to this T^T i love dramaticising my life like atleast it makes it more tolerable??? Anyways what are your favourite movies?? or directors?

yeahh cause i get why people like it, it's just not for me ig😭 i feel like it's blasphemic everytime i genuinly say i have a bias in svt😭😭 because lee seokmin has my whole heart, body and soul♡♡♡♡ but wonwoo and shua are wrecking as fuck, i just love dk a tiny bit more😭 but i call them my bias line anyways, so ig i'm not 100% loyal to dk😔😔

nct is harder bc i try to get away with many biases by having biases within the subunits😭 but that also just ends up being a lot. my day one bias is ten every since i saw him on exo 90:2014 back in 2015😭 so i usually call him my ult in nct, but also jaehyun, yuta and mark are like my other non-justifiable biases since they are all in 127 (but mark is my dream bias♡♡). and like my big bias wreckers nowadays are xiaojun, hendery, jaemin and renjun ig😭

other than that it's mark and jinyoung (got7), i literally find it impossible to have a bias in monsta x, but i think minhyuk?? and then changsub (btob), key (shinee) (well, jonghyun really), chen (exo) and jin (bts). i think minnie or yuqi from (g)-idle but i haven't decided, and irene from rv. i gave you like a whole list so sorry about that😭😭 but can't wait to hear yours !!

i honestly don't think nct has every managed to top 7th sense for me😭 like it was just that good !!

idek about a favorite director, but i love everything christopher nolan makes. so maybe him or jordan peele? but i usually just watch the same movies on repeat😭 which are she's the man, legally blonde and 10 things i hate about you. what about you?♡

#ask ida #⭐️mutuals #🐱catsaki

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slyshyfoxy · 7 months

Text

4 November 2023

Hello, i have been recently feeling overwhelmed or smtg due to my period? and tiredness, anyways, i think the thing that is boggling me the most is probably not getting enough rest or time for myself , but i am glad i will be able to do it today, as recently i have took two insurance examinations and i passed one, i thought i will probably fail 2 ngl, but when i failed the first one i actually felt abit disappointed. And luckily i managed to pass the second paper which is BCP.

And then i book the papers for PGI on 15th and COMGI for 29th. I think these days been overwhelmed because i resigned from AIA which makes it irrational for me to take the papers, but honestly i think it is because it is for next time sake where i will be doing my insurance side by side with construction. But its okay to take also because i will at least be more aware of whats going on with insurance and what to claim on it when i buy, and especially it taught me and gave me trips that i could probably not afford it myself. And finally i probably could get some cash from my dad if i would to pass it ma, so i dont have to worry so much. Recently, i was going to work and my attendance was not very good too like i am late too often and i think this month i'll try my best not to take any more MCs as there is not much left, most importantly to take care of my mental and PHYSICAL well-being the most. As i have been taking MCs, i realise my PHYISCAL well-being is kinda bad so i should really take care of it, another thing i have to take care of is the relationship between me and jolyn where i should be putting more effort into meeting her and all, and i think I will, but not too much that i lose myself, i will also encourage her to do more of her work too, so we can meet in between and compromise in-between.

Honestly, there are fears that me and her will not last long, but in the end i believe i am gonna try to make it last as long as it could go because she is a precious person in my life. Through my actions of course. Think nowadays i am also just emotional stressed? Cause of work stuffs where i keep getting pushed to do more than my limit especially pressing me when i having my period is a no go. Think i will be fine , although there is a lot of things to do, i still wanna be able to do it, slowly and steadily i will , even though slow, progress is still progress, jiayous jenny u can do it !! This is not as difficult as it seems. And i think about the work that is stressing me out especially ayeaye and the aunties, i think what i can do is not take it to heart or like count how many mistakes i have made, and just move on with it, the lesser i think the better, the only thing i can work on is on myself and i will be doing that, i just need to clock in attendance everyday, do work dont have to be very quickly, do at ur own pace, as at night you still need to do other stuffs, sleep more, meet jolyn frequent. You are actually doing better than you think, why are u doubting yourself? and i think especially about the future part, u have already been setting out the things u want do and is doing it. Dont worry u will be fine, god aint blind, you will be able to do the things u always wanted to do, which is the travel in the end with goal in mind. Just complete the tasks and take care of ur own physical and mental health first is the most important thing in the world and your happiness with yourself and others too, everything is manageable, jiayous jenny. You are doing great! So what are you gonna do today? I think today i will try to study COMGI like lock in 2 chapters at least then move on to making PGI notes. But first do abit of work for construction first. And wanna mediate now abit too. You can do it !!! Dont worry u are doing just fine. 4 Nov 2023. With love and staying the best to survival, Jenny Tan.

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