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spacegirlapollo · 4 years

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Ice Cream (Hawks x Reader Smut)

Title: Ice Cream

Genre: Smut, Fluff

Words: 2,916

Summary: Keigo gives you a reward for using your quirk to help him out.

(lmao I’m so bad at summaries, anyways its smut 90% and plot: 10% lmao enjoy! )

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“Keigo!” you groaned, looking down at the mess of chips that were sprinkled on the floor not too far from the bag that you had dropped.

You had your arm practically submerged in a bag of your boyfriend’s chips, when the front door to your shared apartment swung open, revealing the man himself in all of his post work glory. You were very taken off guard because he hardly ever used the front door, instead he consistently shot through one of the big balcony windows, that had been his only deal breaker when apartment hunting. He only occasionally used the door when his wings were all used up or he was exhausted. But he was standing in front of you now with a seemingly full set of wings and boundless Keigo energy.

You were so used to it now that you could even hear the faint sounds of his wings flapping a few seconds before he came into the window. You were also feeling the tiny ping of guilt as you had stolen his bag of chips, you hadn’t planned to eat the whole thing, but now the chips laid on the floor inedible.

“Sorry babe.” He said with a chuckle as his back was turned to lock and close the door. He turned to you and gave you his famous closed eye charming smile. The one that always made you forget what you were even upset about before. You pouted bending over to scoop up the chips before he could see your contraband.

In the corner of your eye you could see his boots enter your vision and then he was eye level with you, positioned to help you scoop up the chips. His face widened in mild disbelief.

“Are these my-”

“I’m sorry!” You said not able to hold your laugh in as you almost shouted it.

“ I was craving salt. I needed salt Keigo.”

His golden laugh rang around your ears and you couldn't help matching his laugh. You watched his face for a moment and your smile fell a bit as his face scrunched momentarily in pain. Setting the bag full of ruined chips to lean against the sofa, you reached for him frowning.

“Are you okay baby?” You asked concern dripped all over your facial features.

His face cleared up immediately and his golden smile was back.

“Yeah i’m okay.” He said lying flawlessly. You frowned as he started to stand up. He said it in that tone that you knew meant he wasn't going to give you any other answers. It was the tone he used to pretend like things at work were fine even if they weren't.

“I’m going to shower.” He said looking a bit far away now, but he turned back to you a smaller smile creeping on the edge of his lips.

“I missed you today… want to watch a movie or something?”

You smiled at his, for some reason you’d missed him today too.

“Sounds like a plan.” You said.

He winked and turned to head down the hallway leading to the bathroom. His smile had dropped again though.

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15 minutes later, you had vacuumed the floor a bit and were now carrying a large plant into the living room.

Your quirk was a healing one, which was convenient when Keigo came home bruised and bloody occasionally. You could heal any and everything, but your quirk was all about balance and energy. If you healed someone directly, it would take energy from you to balance itself. But if you had something like a plant nearby you could use the energy from the plants to heal as well.

You had a feeling, something was wrong with Keigo and he wasn't telling. Why, you weren't sure. He typically did not like being healed by you, as too much healing could leave you feeling weak for days at a time. You figure this must be it. Either way you placed down the plant near the edge of the couch hoping that he wouldn't notice the sudden addition to the room.

Grabbing the remote and plopping down on the couch you could hear the water shutting off from deeper in the house.

A few minutes into your search for a good movie, and you could hear his footsteps as he re-entered the room, a white tee and sweatpants on instead of his heavy duty hero uniform.

“Did you pick something out?” He asked, crossing into the room.

“Yep!” You said patting your lap with your free hand motioning him towards you.

He eagerly came forward sitting on the couch and resting his hand on your lap. The couch was large enough to fit his wings, which was like most furniture in your home. You pressed play on your zombie movie you’d picked out and started to play with his hair with your right hand.

You knew how much he loved when you did this, but now you could still see how his eyebrows were pulled together slightly. It wasn't totally innocent , your playing with his hair, as when you did this you were able to take a sort of scan of whatever you were touching to better understand what was wrong. The spots typically show up as red circles in your mind. And sure enough you could see red circles where it seemed his wings connected to his back. It must have been sore from all the flying he’d been doing lately. He’d told you once that his body was a little two small for the powerful wings. You wondered how often he went through this pain without saying anything.

Your hand slipped up the back of his shirt and he looked up at you a little, an eyebrow raised.

You reached the spots of red before he could turn away from you.

“Babe what are you doin- MHM”

His sentence was cut off by a deep moan that caught you a bit off guard. You’d touched one of the spots activating your quirk. You knew though from healing yourself that the healing felt intensely satisfying like a good scratch on an itchy spot, or stepping into a hot Jacuzzi.

You moved onto the next spot activating your quirk again, The plant next to you starting to shrink and wilt. You felt him melting in your lap despite him having tried his hardest to not let you know.

You pressed slightly against a larger red zone another gasp like moan came from your boyfriend, and you couldn't help but bite your lip at the sound. You knew it wasn't on purpose but It was almost sinful the noises he was letting out. You shifted slightly pressing your thighs together as you felt your mind running wild.

You finished with the right wing and started to make quick work of the second, pressing softly against each zone while Keigo’s face smoothed out with each heal. You’d saved the largest one for last, guiltily hoping for another moan. You were rewarded when you started to heal and he let out another gaspy groan and you imagined him making that noise right next to your ear while on top of you.

The plant next to you had officially wilted down but Keigo was fully healed and sitting up now from your lap to face you. Before you could react both of his hands were on your cheeks and he pulled you into a kiss that felt like he was the sun and filling you up with light.

He pulled away and let his hands drop giving you a shy smile.

“I don’t know why I was being so stubborn Y/N.” He shook his head in disbelief. He seemed to be his normal self again, face cleared of any pain.

“I feel…” He sighed in relief. “ So much better.”

You smiled back at him, head a little foggy from the kiss and body on fire from his noises.

“How can I make it up to you.” He was saying now, getting animated again.

“I could make dinner.” He started to suggest but then thought better tapping his finger on his chin as he was thinking.

“Hmmm no… I could fly us to get ice cream!”

He looked at you his face the question : “ How about it?”

‘

When he didn't immediately read a yes on your face he shook his head. “ No? How about…”

“Keigo..” You blurted , heart skipping a beat when he immediately stopped and looked at you.

“I- I want something different.” You said, cursing yourself for how soft your voice was coming out. You felt the heat rising to your cheeks and his head tilted a bit, confused. He looked cute and insanely hot like that, watching you.

Keigo was a quick study however, and you saw the realization of just exactly what you wanted hitting his face. A smirk crept across his face,

“Ohh, I see.” He said so low it sent a chill down your spine.

and he moved so quick he didn’t give you a moment to think. His hands suddenly were on each of your ass cheeks scooping you up and planting you firmly on his lap. He moved back a strand of you falling hair before drawing your lips in again for a kiss. This one is much different from the last. His lips parted yours, your tongues swirling together as his grip on your ass tightened.

You felt a throbbing between your legs and as you broke apart your kiss for air he started to kiss up your neck and to your jawline leaving butterfly kisses along the way that were sending your head spinning.

“Mmm I missed you today.” He said close to your ear in that low voice that sent chills down your spine. You felt his hand slipping into the front of your pants, and you let out a small moan as he sunk two fingers into your soaking cunt.

“You miss me?” He asked, pumping his fingers into you agonizingly slowly. When you didn't immediately respond he sat back some and grabbed your chin to bring your eyes to him. He inserted another finger, picking up the pace as he curled his fingers inside you.

“Hm?” He asked again as you opened your mouth to moan out a yes.

“Tell me.” He said breathily, his speed making you see stars now.

“ Tell me how much you couldn’t wait for me to come home and fuck you.”

You moaned and the sound of his soaking fingers fucking you filled the room. You were close to unraveling and he knew it.

“Keigo” you moaned out using your hands flat against his chest to balance yourself. “Fuck, I missed you.”

This seemed to satisfy him as he grinned devilishly at you bringing your face intoxicatingly close again.

“You gonna come for me?” He asked as if he could feel just how close to the edge you were.

“Mm yes be a good girl and come for me.”

You couldn't hold off anymore as your head leaned back in an open moan as you came onto his fingers. You could feel his deep chuckle vibrating in his chest on your hands that were placed squarely on his chest.

You let out a little squeak as your whole body rose as he picked you up. Your legs were wrapped instinctively around his waist and you giggled a bit in excitement as he started to walk you almost blindly into your bedroom.

“Mhm you thought I was finished with you?” He asked.

“I really hoped not.” You teased back, before your back landed on the extra large bed in your bedroom. Keigo was above you now grabbing your t-shirt and rolling it off your head, then going for your pants slipping them off effortlessly. You say up slightly and began to remove his clothing as well, almost blushing in the way his eyes followed you.

When you were both completely naked, he grabbed your chin again bringing you in for a kiss. You reached for his hardened cock pumping it in rhythm and enjoying his breathy moans against your lips.

Breaking apart your lips with a smirk you pushed him back, and he went willingly sitting up slightly against the headboard.

Coming closer you took it into your mouth moaning to send vibrations down his spine. You watched as he closed his eyes slightly at this, He was looking at you eyes half lidded and lustful.

You stuck out your tongue as you brought your head up releasing him with a pop. His hand came forward and grabbed your face guiding you back down to the hilt of his cock. You hollowed out your mouth and hummed relishing in his deep moan. He was setting the pace now bringing your head up and down his hard shaft, chasing his orgasm.

“Fuck Y/N” He growled out his lips parted as he came deep down your throat.

“gaddamn it.” He said sitting up and rolling you over till he was on the top. Although there hadn’t really been a moment where he wasn't in charge.

“You’re so fucking pretty.” He said before entering your wet folds with a push. You moaned out at the feeling of being filled up by him. He didn’t wait and he was slamming into you again, his right hand gripping your hip as he fucked you and his left next to your head for balance..

You loved looping up at him like this, your beautiful boyfriend and his stretching wings above you. He knew every inch of your body and just how to make you feel good. You moved your head slightly to the side to make room for his hot lips against your neck. Moans spilled from your lips as he didn’t let up on you in the slightest. You reward him for healing him, as he typically teased you from start to finish. You weren’t going to last long and he was planning on that.

“Fuck Keigo.” You moaned as he pressed his body closer to yours and descended into short powerful strokes against your g spot. Your hands were around his neck now as he fucked you into the mattress all the while his hot voice in your ear, egging on your climax, sending your body into a tailspin with his dirty words.

You felt that tight knot in your stomach as your eyes rolled back in bliss.

“Yes. Yes.” He said now eyes closing as your pussy tightened around him “Yes. cum for me”

He took your lips with his as he reached his own climax and overstimulating your soaking cunt. A few more deep strokes and you could feel him cumming inside of you filling you up.

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“Did you really miss me today?” You asked looking up at Keigo who was stroking your hair now, as you were both naked in bed. He had you close to his chest and he looked back down at you a little more serious than you’d thought he’d be.

“I miss you all the time little bird.” He said moving his hand down to stroke your cheek.

“You always heal me in more ways than one.”

Your face squished with how cute and cheesy that was, but you couldn't hide your big smile.

“Hmmm. I missed you too.” You said and he kissed your forehead sending your heart going wild.

It was quiet for a while as you laid there just enjoying each other's presence.

“Can we still get ice cream?” You asked quietly and you could feel his whole body shake as he laughed.

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“Sure little bird, lets go get some ice cream.”

#keigo takami #hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x you #Hawks x reader smut #Keigo Takami x reader smut #Hawks smut #mha fanfiction #MHa smut #mha imagines #I did not proof read this #SO SORRY

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moonlitceleste · 4 years

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straight up villain (Villain AU)

This is a songfic based on “Villain” by K/DA ft. Madison Beer and Kim Petras. There’s really no plot to it; I started with a vague idea and just went along with whatever my brain told me. It kinda jumps around and I didn’t proofread this at all, so sorry if it’s confusing!

I’d suggest listening to the song and watching the visualizer video because it’s honestly such a vibe. If I could animate I’d totally make a video full of epic fight scenes, but unfortunately I don’t have that talent learned yet.

This version of the song is a little more chill, so if you find the original too intense you can always listen to the slowed one instead.

On the low Only love myself, no more Take you to the grave, I'll ghost I know I can be so cold In the dark Where I like to keep my heart Know I'm all bite, no bark Like to catch you way off guard

A shiver ran down the crime boss’ spine.

His eyes darted around the room, searching through the darkness.

Shadows flickered. He swore he could see movement in them.

The night was crime’s time to rule; people feared the darkness it brought.

Now, he was the scared one.

I'll stay so deep inside your brain And take you somewhere far away

“Who’s there?”

A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead, revealing his false bravado.

Shaking hands gripped the gun around his waist, knuckles turning white with pressure.

Creeeakk.

The man whipped around, heart hammering in his chest.

Who—or what—was lurking in the shadows?

A snap echoed through the air as he fired a round.

Silence.

The only sound came from distant echoes of Gotham’s nightlife and the frantic beating in his throat.

He swore he had seen something sweep out in the corner of his vision, if only for a moment.

Perhaps it was the paranoia.

He slowly lowered his gun, shoulders relaxing—

Only to whip around when he felt a phantom hand brush his shoulder.

A pair of eyes flashed in the darkness, gone the next second, but he knew what he had seen, what he had felt.

Icy fear seized his body, taking hold of his limbs.

Something was watching him.

Time to roll the dice, you know I'm the type Type to risk my life, not afraid to die Type to make you cry, type to put a price All up on your head, do just what I said I'm a straight up villain, straight up villain Yeah, no feeling, yeah, no feeling Straight up villain, straight up villain Yeah, no feeling, yeah, no feeling

“Stop toying around.”

The gravelly voice was met with a cackle, almost cat-like in nature.

That was his only warning before it stepped from the shadows: a creature out of his nightmares, shrouded in darkness like part of the night itself.

Sharpened black claws glinted under the streetlights, and dark black orbs pinned him in place as it slunk forward. He couldn’t move, frozen like a deer in headlights.

The thing was so human-like in shape, but it was too monstrous to be one.

A wicked smile spread across its face, and his face blanched as he caught sight of the fangs protruding from the top.

The creature stalked forward like a predator chasing its prey.

Then, it pounced.

I'm alive, but I'm dead Hear my voice up in your head Watch it fill you full of drеad 'Til you go pow

It was common knowledge within Gotham’s criminal underworld that the Arkham Knight worked alone. He played by his own rules, merciless in his distribution of justice.

But lately, it was rumored that the Knight had an ally.

There was no proof of this, no sightings to go by, but there was a subtle shift that could be felt—an underlying sensation of imminent danger.

Gunfights and confrontations lessened, and the Knight’s enemies started disappearing without a trace. No blood, body, or evidence of struggle could be found; it was as if they had simply ceased to exist.

Whoever this new player was, they were dangerous.

Is it really a surprise if I'm playing with your mind And I treat you likе a prize, then I throw you to the side? And am I really that bad if l love to make you mad? And get happy when you're sad, only care about a bag

Jason shook out his hair, metal helmet in his hands, and leveled a glance at his companion.

“Did you really have to take so long to kill him?”

The two were in one of their few safe houses, recuperating after their long night of fighting.

“It’s the thrill of the chase.”

Marinette, no longer transformed, stated this as if it were obvious—which it was. Jason had been with her long enough to understand her concept of fun. She leaned forward and stretched, looking much like the animal after which her magic ring was themed.

“We can’t waste time playing around. There are more important things to be done,” he growled.

Marinette simply giggled, bounding over to bat her eyes at him with mock innocence.

Jason’s eyes narrowed. “You know what you’re doing.”

Her smile grew wicked, arms darting out to wrap around his waist.

“You look so good when you’re mad,” she purred.

Jason leaned down, and their lips met in a kiss.

In control That's how I like it and I'm never letting go, nah Never had a soul (soul) So you ain't taking nothing from me when you go, nah

Crack.

Marinette smirked as her staff made contact with the target’s skull.

Normally she would use Cataclysm for a more swift kill, but the remains were needed in order to send a message to Arkham Knight’s enemies.

They were growing more volatile, more desperate to expose whatever they thought she was.

Phantom Killer, they called her. The name sounded like something out of a badly-written horror movie. Marinette much preferred the one she had already: Reine de L'ombre.

Of course, she didn’t need a title, but Jason had come up with it. She was pleasantly surprised by his naming skills—it meant Shadow Queen, for she was a queen, and Jason her knight, as he put it.

She didn’t feel any remorse as the pile of bodies below her grew. Perhaps this made her soulless, but she didn’t need one anyway.

Marinette had all she wanted right beside her.

I'll stay so deep inside your brain And take you somewhere far away

“...you do what you gotta do, am I right?”

Marinette nodded at the man standing across from her, a smile on her red-painted lips.

He had been leering at her from across the bar the whole night, and although that was the goal, she was still disgusted. He had to be at least twenty years older than her. Heck, he was old enough to be her dad.

The intel she and Jason had acquired said the businessman had a thing for younger women, which was apparent. According to the same source, the company he ran was also a front for trafficking and drug rings.

Marinette wanted to see him bleed.

“How about we take this to my room?”

The comment was abrupt, and Jason would probably kill her for her indiscretion later, but she was getting tired of the man’s blabbering.

Her hand moved up his arm, the expensive material of his suit cool against her fingers. She bit her lips seductively, which seemed to convince him.

Bingo.

Time to roll the dice, you know I'm the type Type to risk my life, not afraid to die Type to make you cry, type to put a price All up on your head, do just what I said I'm a straight up villain, straight up villain Yeah, no feeling, yeah, no feeling (yeah, yeah) Straight up villain, straight up villain Yeah, no feeling, yeah, no feeling

Marinette gritted her teeth as the man tried to reach for her butt again.

She attempted to stop him by saying she wanted to wait until they entered her room, but he was persistent. She couldn’t wait to get rid of him.

As soon as she opened the door to her hotel room, she shoved him inside and up against the wall. He seemed to be expecting a kiss, but she punched him hard. For a crime lord he certainly wasn’t a good fighter. Maybe it was the drugs she slipped into his drink earlier that contributed to his quick defeat.

Marinette cuffed his arms behind his back with a pair she had stashed earlier. She could have waited for the man to undress so she could ensure he didn’t have any weapons, but she had gone through enough torture already. Her eyes didn’t need to see that.

She turned him around, giving him a smile that promised warmth and kindness, before pulling out a dagger and pressing it to his throat.

“Now talk.”

I'm alive, but I'm dead Hear my voice up in your head Watch it fill you full of dread 'Til you go pow

“Claws in.”

Marinette’s black suit faded away, revealing her now blood-spattered red dress.

She flopped onto the couch, not bothering to remove her shoes or dirty clothing.

After hours of trying to get information out of the businessman, she only managed to wring a few coded phrases from him. He seemed to only be a figurehead of his shady organization rather than its actual leader.

A Cataclysm later and here she was, back to the drawing board.

“Jay?” Marinette called.

It was unusually quiet in the safe house; usually after solo missions they’d greet one another with a kiss. Now, he was nowhere to be seen.

“Jason?”

Silence.

Marinette huffed. She knew exactly what this was about.

Bang, bang You can do anything No fear, no pain Listen to your brain go Go stupid, go dumb, go stupid and Then we go insane, woah Just do what I say Follow me, I'll lead the way

“Are you jealous?”

Jason whipped his head around, caught off-guard by the appearance of his girlfriend in his doorway. It seemed as if she wasn’t wasting any time.

“I’m not jealous. That guy couldn’t get you if he tried.”

“Then why are you mad?”

His jaw clenched.

He wished he hadn’t agreed to let Marinette extract the information alone; Jason almost wished he was there to see the man in pain.

“He was putting his hands all over you.”

“It was for a mission. Besides, I thought you said he couldn’t get me even if he tried?”

Her last words were said with a lilt, and Jason knew she was riling him up. He couldn’t stay mad, anyway—she had a point.

He deflated and leaned forward to brush his lips against her. Marinette smiled into the kiss, then pulled away. She looked him up and down, a glint in her eyes.

“I guess I’ll have to make it up to you, hmm?”

She paused, then wrinkled her nose.

“After I take a shower. I don’t want this guy’s blood on me any longer.”

Maybe they acted stupid sometimes, but the two always followed one another in the end.

Time to roll the dice, you know I'm the type Type to risk my life, not afraid to die Type to make you cry, type to put a price (Woo-ah) All up on your head, do just what I said I'm a straight up villain, straight up villain Yeah, no feeling, yeah, no feeling Straight up villain, straight up villain (Yeah) Yeah, no feeling, yeah, no feeling (Woo-ah!)

Marinette panted deeply, adrenaline coursing through her veins.

A mass of bodies surrounded her, but she wasn’t paying attention. This wasn’t just a battle. It was war.

It was a fight for her life, and she wasn’t going down now.

Reine de L'ombre tore through her enemies like a terrifying force of darkness, one after the other. The Arkham Knight fought by her side, fueled by pure destruction.

Maybe they wouldn’t make it out, but they wouldn’t go down without a fight.

I'm alive, but I'm dead Hear my voice up in your head Watch it fill you full of dread

'Til you go pow

A week later, a couple rose hand-in-hand from the ranks as new rulers of the Gotham Underworld.

Reine de L'ombre and the Arkham Knight—a queen and her king.

PERMANENT TAGLIST @avengerthewarrior @enternalempires @freesportspalacesalad @h1sss @nathleigh

#maribat #celestewrites #jasonette #cel's fics

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thepeacetea · 4 years

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Mistake of a Lifetime

I LIVE!!!!!!! Hey everyone! I don’t know what happened last month. It was like my brain shut down. It was the worst feeling ever. I just couldn’t write. Which was insanely frustrating. But I’m back and off of work for the next three week due to COVID-19. And since I’m not venturing into the outside world, hopefully I’ll be able to get more writing done!!! So thank you all for being patient with me. I honestly have absolutely no idea where this story came from, but enjoy my beauties. Warning, there is a tiny, little bit of swearing but nothing major. As always, if you have any questions or comments feel free to let me know. Anyway, hope ya’ll enjoy!!! Peace!!!

Damian was frustrated. He couldn’t find that girl anywhere. He knew when he explained what he had done what he did that she would understand. His angel always did. She loved him too much to stay mad at him for long. Once she learned why, Damian knew that she would come back. That’s one of the reasons he loved her, she was so trusting and forgiving. No matter what he did, he knew she would welcome him back with open arms. But right now, he was irritated with his girlfriend. She hadn’t been in contact with any of the family in five months. No one knew where she was. Tim couldn’t even find her. It was as if she just disappeared. Which is what led him here, to what was hopefully the door of his best friend’s apartment. If anyone would know where Marinette was, it would be Jon.

Finding the apartment had been a slightly more difficult then Damian had first thought. Jon wasn’t one for covering his civilian tracts, usually allowing anyone, if they so wished, to track him down. But he had been strangely quiet the past few months. Superboy had also been absent from the hero scene. When Damian had inquired as to why, no one could supply a straight answer. Jon had spoken to his parents every few weeks to assure them that he was fine, but other then that, no one knew much.

The search for apartments rented out to a Jonathan Samuel Kent had turned up blank, as did all the other alias that Damian could think his best friend might possibly use. It eventually arrived at the point that Damian had run his handwriting through the data base to find a match for a signature. Eight states and eleven empty apartments later, Damian Wayne found himself climbing the squeaking steps to the apartment located above a little Chinese restaurant in the middle of Chinatown, San Francisco.

‘Honestly Jon, the other places where far better off then this,’ Damian muttered as he knocked on the door. The sound of scuffling followed by multiple items falling sparked a flicker of hope from the Wayne heir. Though he would never tell Jon this, Damian had missed his idiot of a friend.

“Buy too much at the market again? M, I told you, just get what we need for dinner tonight and we’ll get the rest tomor . . .” Jon said opening the door, the laughter that was oh so evident in his voice died the moment he saw who was at his door.

Damian watched as a wave of emotions filtered across his friend’s face. Surprise, confusion, and doubt where all understandable, at least in Damian’s opinion, but when Jon’s face finally settled on a mixture of anger and disgust, Damian grew confused and slightly irritated. He had not come all this way nor spent all that time looking for him to be received like that. Not by Kent, not by anyone.

“What are you doing here, Wayne?”

Now that caught him off guard. Damian could not, for the life of him, remember a single moment when Jon had referred to him, or anyone, by their last name. Ever.

“Tt, came looking for you. No one’s seen so much as a flutter of your cape in five month. The last time anyone heard from you was your parents, six weeks ago.”

“Well, as you can see, I’m fine. Now if there’s nothing else . . .” Jon said, closing the door, causing Damian to bit back a growl. He did not come all this way to get a door shut in his face.

“Actually, there is,” Damian countered, forcing the door back open as Jon sent a chilling glare his way, nearly causing him to laugh. If Kent thought he could scare Damian, the only blood son of Bruce Wayne, the Batman, with that poor excuse of a glare, he was in for a nasty surprise. “I need to know if you’ve seen my girlfriend?”

Damian was expecting many things, but none of them was the utterly disgusted scoff that came from the dark-haired young man as his face twisted into a scowl.

“Yeah. Two weeks ago. On tv. At the Wayne Gala. You remember, she was hanging off your arm like one of those rich people’s lapdogs. You know, the really yappy ones.” He said, something sparking in his eyes, though Damian couldn’t quiet place it.

“Not the Italian she-devil, you idiot. I mean Marinette.” Damian strained, actively using more force to push the door open as Jon was closing it. The disbelieving laugh that left the young half-kryptonian surprised Damian.

“Mar is not your girlfriend anymore, Wayne. Remember? YOU broke up with her five months ago. And then YOU announced that you were dating that – that – Rossi girl the next day on national tv.”

“Look Kent, all I want to know is if you know where she is or not, because I need to talk with her.” Damian ground out as he began to lose what little leverage he had on the door. The half second hesitation and slight dilation of Jon’s eyes was all Damian need to know whatever came out of his friend’s mouth was a lie.

“No.”

“You were always a terrible liar Kent.” Damian stated. Taking advantage to the slight surprise, Damian force the door open, stepping inside before the other man could react.

The apartment itself was rather small, though Damian was use to having far more space then needed. The apartment was an open floor concept. The only thing separating the kitchen from the living room was a counter that extended from the wall, cutting the room in half. A worn couch was sitting in the middle of the main room with a small coffee table in front of it. A tv was pushed against the wall, a few open movie cases lay scattered across the stand with a gaming console tucked neatly underneath. A bookshelf was shoved into the far corner. A fallen stack of books lay by a beaded doorway that Damian could only assumed lead to a bedroom. A few pictures adorned the walls, though Jon drew Damian’s attention before he could get a chance to identify who was in them.

“What the heck do you think you’re doing? I didn’t invite you in! Get out!” Jon said, his voice raising an octave, jabbing his finger towards the door.

“And here I thought your mother taught you hospitality,” Damian countered, enjoying the growl his comment caused. “As for what I’m doing here, I already informed you why. I want to know where my angel is and I need you to tell me.”

“Never. Gonna. Happen! What makes you think you have any right to see her let alone call her ‘yours’?” Jon growled, actually growled, at Damian. Under any other circumstances, he would have been impressed that the cheerful, happy Kansas native sounded so . . . threatening in his questioning. But Damian was quickly reaching the end of his already short patience. Pinning the other man with a glare that would have made his father proud, Damian watched as the other subconsciously straightened to his full height.

“I’m bringing her back, where she belongs. The Rossi mission is over and I want my Angel back.”

For five seconds, Jon stood there, brows drawn together in confusion as his brain processed what was said. Five seconds where he could have been telling Damian where his girlfriend was, Jon just stood there.

“. . . what?”

“Lila Rossi held vital, insider information of a new program which my mother and Dr. Hugo Strange were developing. We needed the information, but more importantly, we needed Rossi to trust us. I, obviously, was the best candidate for the job. Father and the others helped plan and execute it. We have the information we need and the parties involved have been dealt with appropriately, including Rossi.”

“. . . all of this . . . everything . . . was for a mission?” Jon asked quietly, his voice calm as he bent his head, his bangs covering his eyes. Damian let a small smile slip. He knew Jon would understand, and once he told him where his angel was, she would too.

“Yes. Now I need to know where . . .” Damian began to say when the left side of his face erupted in pain as the sound of something breaking filled the air. Whether it was his jaw or the picture frames he landed against, he didn’t know. He didn’t have the time to figure out as he was hauled to his feet and slammed into the wall, his head smashing into an other picture. Once Damian’s vision cleared, confused emerald met rage filled electric blue.

“You mean to tell me, that everything, Every hatful word, Every cutting remark, Every. Single. Day! Marinette spent CRYING was for some GOD DAMN MISSION!?!” Jon yelled, pulling Damian closer as his eyes flashed back and forth between blue and red, and for the first time in a long time, Damian felt fear. “Do you have any idea how much you hurt her!?!”

“It was a sacrifice necessary for the completion of the mission. Once she knows that, she’ll understand!” Damian shouted, defending himself. Everyone who knew agreed. The action was necessary for the mission. Without it, the whole mission would have been unnecessarily complicated. Even Clark and Diana had agreed, so why couldn’t Jon?

“Sacrifice? Is that what you think this was?” Jon hissed, eyes steadily changing from blue to solid red. “You broke her!”

“I didn’t . . .” Damian started to say before he was slammed against the wall again, causing the remaining pictures to fall, glass breaking on impact.

“SHUT UP!!!” Jon screamed. If it was possible, Damian saw his eyes fill with more rage then he had ever seen in one person, Jason included. “You know nothing! You broke her Wayne. She trusted you! After everything that happened to her, after being abandoned by so many others, she trusted you and you broke her! She gave her heart to YOU! Marinette gave you everything, only for you to turn around and throw her away like trash!”

“Jon,” Damian tried to say, but Jon wasn’t done.

“Do you know how I found her? After I found out you not only broke up with her but then decided to date the person that made her life a living hell, I spent six, SIX, hours looking for her. I finally found her on the roof where we first met her. She was just sitting there, on the edge, looking over the city. When she finally looked at me, her face was completely blank. No trace of emotion. The only real sign of life was how red and swollen her eyes were from crying. Do you want to know the first thing she said to me? ‘He left me.’ ‘He LEFT me!’” Jon snarled. “You have no idea how hard it was to keep her going after that. What it was like seeing her like that. Do you know what its like seeing someone who’s so full of life to just wilt in front of you. To see them lose everything that made them who they are.” Jon asked, his voice dropping in grief as his grip on Damian shirt loosened.

“Jon, I know. I hurt her. I know. That’s why I need to talk to her. I know my angel. Once I tell her, once I explain, everything will be fine.”

“No, Wayne. I don’t think you do know her.” Jon said, completely letting go of him as if he couldn’t stand touching him. “I know Mar better then my own mind at this point. She is the most trusting and kindest person you will ever meet, but even she has her limits.” He hissed, turning his back on his once friend, running his hands through his hair in anger and frustration.

All Damian could do was stare at the person, who had for the longest time, been his only friend. Steadying himself against the wall, the young Wayne looked down. Trying to gather his thoughts. To think of something to say when one of the picture frames caught his eye. Gingerly picking it up, Damian found himself looking through shattered glass at what appeared to be an ultra-sound photo sitting beside one the soon to be mother. Barely legible through the broken glass was Jon’s handwriting, ‘Mama and baby at eight months.’ The photo was dated three days ago. Damian couldn’t stop staring. There, through the shattered glass, stood HIS angel, her belly swollen to the point where it looked ready to burst, smiling at the camera.

What Damian was seeing wasn’t making sense. Eight months pregnant. They had broken up five months ago. He knew she had never slept with another guy before. Her first time had been with him. Once. Three months before they broke up. Eight months ago. She was pregnant. She was eight months pregnant.

His mind flashed to the last time he had seen her. The day he had ‘broken up’ with her. She had an appointment the day. A doctor’s appointment. She hadn’t been feeling well for the last few weeks. She had wanted to tell him something after the appointment. She had sounded so excited over the phone. She promised she’d tell him over dinner but he had gone first, telling her they were over. She had looked so heartbroken. So devastated. She never got a chance to tell him her news

Suddenly, the frame was torn from his hands but the damage had been done. He knew. Lifting his eyes, Damian met Jon’s gaze. Utter shock met panicked anger. For a few moment’s neither spoke. Neither man knew what say or how to react.

“Jon, I’m so sorry I’m back late! I distracted chatting with Aunty Liu and Grandpa Zhao wanted to know how the baby’s doing and then Mama Zhang wanted to give me some tea that’s suppose to help with my back pain an . . .” The sweet, sweet voice of his angel broke through the apartment before abruptly cutting off.

Damian’s whole body twisted toward the door faster then he thought possible. There, standing in the doorway, was the most beautiful sight Damian had ever seen. His angel, dressed in a soft, baby blue shirt that proudly displayed her heavily pregnant belly and black pant, stood completely frozen as her eyes, her gorgeous blue eyes that he had missed so, so much, darted between the apartment and the two occupant.

Damian took a step forward, she instinctively took one back, panic blooming in her eyes.

“Beloved I . . .”

Damian never got father then that. As soon as he spoke, Marinette’s face drained of colour as she turned and bolted from the apartment as fast as a woman of her condition could. He raced to follow, to hold her and tell her everything would be alright. That he would take care of her and their child. Their child! The very thought of his child sent an unbelievable wave of joy coursing through him! He was going to be a father! Damian was going to spoil his angel, his beloved, rotten. They would need to have one of the manor rooms renovated into a nursery. He would need to have someone take over his patrol for the next few month, his child and soon-to-be wife would need him and . . .

Both Damian’s train of thought and path was halted by the very painful grip on his arm. Fully ready to bite Jon’s head off, Damian was silenced by the red tinted glare his friend was giving him. He immediately notice how tense Jon was. He looked like he was ready for a fight, one that the kryptonian knew he would win.

“No. You are not going after her. The last thing Mar needs is this kind of stress this far in the pregnancy.”

“But . . .”

“I said no Wayne! Mar almost lost the baby once already. I am not going to allow her to go through that again! She can’t go through that again. I can’t handle going through that again!” Jon hissed, dropping his hold on Damian’s arm as he made a beeline for the stairs.

“Jon!” Damian yelled, hoping against hope that he would change his mind. That was his girlfriend and his child, damn it. He needed to be with them.

“No, Damian! Just . . . just go. You’ve done enough.” Jon shouted as he disappeared down the stairs.

Jon’s last comment caused the young heir to pause. He had done enough? He hadn’t been given a chance to fix what he had done. How could he have done enough? Sure, he had messed up royally, but he wanted to fix it. Why wouldn’t Jon let him fix it?

Pushing those questions aside, Damian ran down the stair, praying that he would at least catch a glimpse of his beloved. But the scene that met him as he burst into the street somehow drove Jon’s parting words home. There, braced against the wall of the building across from him, was Marinette. She was curled up as tightly as she physically could be, her face buried in Jon’s shirt as she let out the most heart wrenching sobs. Damian’s body refused to move as he watched Jon gently rock the mother of his child. His body refused to move as he watched the other man stroked her hair, promising to never leave her, whispering soft words of comfort to her as he planted butterfly kisses on her head. That he would always be there. That no one was going to hurt her. That she was safe.

Seconds turned into minutes before he could summon the strength to do what Jon had said. Casting one last look at his angel, his Marinette, Damian knew that taking that mission, that leaving her, had been the worst mistake of his life.

#maribat #daminette #jonette?#angst

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actuallylorelaigilmore · 3 years

Text

TATMILB, CHAPTER 5

Penelope spent her life writing love letters, which didn’t seem like a terrible idea until the letters were mailed out and Schneider received one of them. Hoping to fool their exes, they agree to fake a relationship. But are they lying to everyone around them, or to themselves? aka my To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before-inspired AU.

Penelope x Schneider, ODAAT. available on ao3 with extra author’s notes.

Chapter 5: Penelope agrees to fake date Schneider and they work out the rules during Alex’s baseball game. Penelope enjoys Nikki’s visible fury at their public affection, and braces for Lydia's reaction.

On Penelope’s left, her Mami was pulling out snacks and explaining the hodgepodge of containers they were stored in. On her right, Schneider was facetiming Elena, showing her the rest of the family and a shaky view of Alex on the field.

“Okay, okay, I gotta go,” she heard her daughter say, laughing at Schneider from another continent. “I’ve got class. Thanks, Schneider. I’ll call you guys this weekend!”

Penelope rubbed her palms on her jeans and stood, almost knocking Schneider’s phone out of his hand when she reached for him.

“We’re going to get snacks!” she told a very suspicious Lydia as she gripped his hand and led him out of the bleachers.

“But we don’t need anything! I brought all the food!” her Mami called as they left.

“Okay,” she told Schneider, as soon as they were standing near the food trucks and out of earshot.

“Okay...?” He blinked at her, in that friendly but confused way of his. Like a really tall golden retriever--he wanted to be accommodating, even when he had no clue what was going on.

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” she told him, shoving her hands into her pockets. Part of her wanted to bounce from foot to foot, that was how nervous she was. The whole idea was still insane, obviously. But she’d made up her mind.

“The more I thought about it, the more I think you have a point. If Max sees me with you for a while, he’ll get the message that I’ve moved on. I do not want to debate our past, it hurts too much. And I don’t know why you’d want to try and be more than junk buddies with Nikki, but if you want to make her jealous, well...”

Penelope snuck a glance at the bleacher two spots away from theirs, where Finn’s mom could usually be found.

“I could be real good at that.”

Schneider beamed like she’d just offered to throw him a party, rather than engage him in a conspiracy to trick their exes.

Lupe, what are you are doing? She wondered in a flickering moment of indecision--but she shut that down hard. This was her best option. This could make the whole mess go away.

“Yeah?” Schneider asked.

“Yeah. Yes. Let’s do this thing.”

Schneider was still smiling, which was why Penelope was so unprepared for him to lean down and kiss her.

No warning, no preamble--he didn’t even ask, she thought, her mind whirling with shock--Schneider just leaned down and slid one hand under her hair to cup the nape of her neck and then his mouth was on hers.

He was...well, he was a good kisser when he actually tried.

She filed that fact away, to deal with later.

Even without the warning he definitely should have given her, she knew it was all for show, so Penelope let herself go along with it for exactly three seconds more. She counted them in her head, while the rest of her enjoyed the way that Schneider’s mouth was firm and warm and gentle.

When he pulled back, his eyes were crinkled at the corners, beaming delight down. He had both hands on her shoulders, steadying her. She was surprised to realize that she needed it.

Penelope was a little dazed as the rest of the world came back into focus. She could feel her Mami’s eyes laser-focused on them, and the murmurings of some of the other parents in the surrounding stands. She wasn’t an idiot, she knew more than one of the kids’ classmates had asked them if Schneider was her boyfriend over the years--and that some of their parents wondered the same thing.

She actually caught a glimpse of Nikki in her peripheral vision, fuming as loudly as a silent person could.

Satisfying as that was, she shook his hands off her shoulders. “Listen, if we are going to do this, we need to come up with some rules, you get me?”

Schneider held both hands up, an immediate don’t-hurt-me posture that he fell into with her automatically by now. Fair enough, she thought, since she could hurt him, and they both knew it.

“You can’t just kiss me like that. That was not okay. You hear me, Schneider? You didn’t even ask, you just--”

“I know, I’m sorry, I was really excited and it felt like, well, like sealing the deal. You know? We’re going to be a pretend couple, why not start now?”

“I’m not saying we can’t start now.” She exhaled, sharply, tugging her shirt down as though she could tug her sense of gravity back into place with it. He’d knocked her off balance too much--she didn’t like knowing he was capable of that.

“What I’m saying,” Penelope continued after a calming breath, “is that we need ground rules. You were right before, about blurring the lines. Pretending to be a couple is one thing, but we are friends. We can’t lose track of that, mess up where we stand...and you may be big into meaningless affection, but I’m not.”

“Okay, and I hear what you’re saying, Pen, but if we act like we’re just friends...if we stay the same, nobody is going to believe we’re together. You were not hands-off with Max,” he reminded her unnecessarily. “And Nikki knows my sexual habits well.”

Penelope couldn’t help pulling a face at that. “Please don’t make me throw up next to the food,” she muttered in Spanish so he wouldn’t understand her.

“That’s why I’m saying we need rules. Boundaries we agree on in advance, so we both know what’s okay, what we’re comfortable with. So we don’t get...confused.”

“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” Schneider nodded and grabbed a stack of napkins, thanking the man running the stand with casual Spanish that made her eyebrows fly up. When did that happen?

Schneider dug a pen out of his pocket--she wasn’t going to ask why he was carrying a pen--and scrawled ‘Rules’ at the top of the first napkin. “So, what do we both think is okay?”

“Handholding,” she started with. They’d done that already, anyway, as friends. That wasn’t even weird anymore. It’d be weird to know that everybody else thought it meant more than it did, but what about faking a romance with her best friend wouldn’t be weird?

“Casual touching,” Schneider offered up, waiting for her nod before he added it beneath handholding. They’d been like that with each other since he became part of the family--and if Penelope was honest with herself, she was more affectionate with him than he was with her, anyway. It was just how she was.

“Now, about kissing,” Schneider said, looking at her across the snack counter they were using as a writing desk, as though she might hit him.

“Yeah.” Penelope bit her bottom lip, thinking it over. “You’re right. If we’re going to do this, we have to be willing to sell it. We’re both adults, and if it were a real relationship, we would be...physical, with each other.”

The way she stumbled over the word, over the thought--the way her mind pushed back against the idea of seeing Schneider that way, accepting him as a person who was also a man capable of being sexy and attractive? She couldn’t really explain it. But she also couldn’t avoid it anymore.

“So, how about this? We’ve already kissed. Back there.” She waved behind them, feeling like such a dork, but pressed onward. “It went okay, right? The world didn’t end. We’re fine.”

Schneider watched her, his forehead furrowed. “I agree.”

“So let’s say that kissing is okay. Within the rules. That’ll make this look like our other relationships. Not suspicious. But we should have a signal that means back off, if it’s too much for either of us.”

He considered it for a moment. “That's good. It could be something subtle, like pressing on the inside of your wrist. Gets your attention, but not anybody else’s.”

She tried to imagine that playing out in her head, her heart skittering past the picture of actually kissing Schneider, and nodded. “Yeah, that should work.”

Schneider’s pen hesitated after he added that, hovering over the napkin. “What about forehead kisses?”

She didn’t know why that seemed important, the way he said it, or why he even asked, when they’d basically just agreed to regular public makeouts, but she smiled a little, trying to reassure whatever part of him made it sound wobbly.

“Sure. Forehead kisses are fine.”

Penelope took a deep breath. “Okay, Schneider, this is the biggest sticking point for me.” She jabbed a finger into his designer t-shirt clad chest. “We cannot tell anybody that this is fake. Nobody.”

“Alright.”

“I mean it. Not even my family. If we’re going to do this, really do this, then you have to willing to fake it with my Mami, with Alex, everybody. I do not want them judging this decision, it was bad enough that my mom had a stroke when Max and I broke up. And Elena’s so far away, I wouldn’t even know how to explain lying about something this huge without basically telling her it’s okay to lie--and she’s in London! Who knows what she could be lying about all the way over there?”

“Take a breath,” Schneider told her, and waited while she did, his hands on her forearms. He watched her settle back down before he answered her.

“It’s fine. It’s a pact. This won’t be the first time we’ve kept each other’s secrets, right? It’s just that this time we have the same one.”

“Okay, so you think you can do it. Not gossip with anybody about this.”

He mimed zipping his lips shut and throwing the key away. “When your mom presses me for information, I’ll just redirect her using the Force.”

Penelope rolled her eyes, and his dramatic gasp got the attention of the people in line next to them.

“Don’t tell me you’re not a Star Wars fan. Come on. They’re foundational for our generation. They changed the face of the movie industry forever. I know the first one can be a little slow, but they’re so worth it.”

“I’ve...actually never seen it.”

“How is that possible? Elena’s a total scifi geek, and Alex loves superheroes. You raised those kids.”

“I didn’t raise them alone! Victor watched Star Wars with them. I never had to.”

“It’s not something you do because you have to,” Schneider replied, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Well, if we could get back on track here,” Penelope said, pointing to the napkin. “Magical space movie powers aside, you’re gonna hold up okay against my nosy family?”

He shrugged. “You’re fake-dating an addict, remember? I used to be an expert at this. Lying is muscle memory.”

Shifting gears, he thought out loud. “We’ll have to make sure we’re all over each other when we chaperone Homecoming this year. Definitely can’t let that opportunity go to waste.”

“Yeah, because dances are a pretty key ingredient to romance,” she agreed, not bothering to keep the bite out of her words. “You just want to have your ‘nobody puts Baby in the corner’ moment to show off for Nikki.”

“My what?”

“Your Patrick Swayze dance movie thing.”

He shook his head, and she scoffed.

“Dirty Dancing, Schneider. The lift, above his head? The singing along to the song?”

“I haven’t watched that. Heard it’s good though.”

“Oh my god, in what world have you watched the Star Wars movies but not Dirty Dancing? It’s a classic.”

“Fine.” Schneider put pen to paper again, showing her the napkin, where he’d added ‘Star Wars + Dirty Dancing double feature’ on their must-haves list.

Penelope laughed. “Okay.”

“We’re in agreement about the dance, though, right?” He checked with pen in hand. “If my side of our deal is to convince Nikki that I’m relationship material, the romantic parts are important. She needs to see my smooth moves on the dance floor. She needs to see me romancing you.”

It felt risky. It felt stupid.

Going out with him was just like hanging out as friends, with more affection. Faking it to make Nikki jealous would be kind of fun because she couldn’t stand Nikki, and it should help keep Max at arm’s length where she needed him to be.

Faking it for her family would be harder, but not impossible.

But pretending to be a couple at Homecoming?

The last time she went to Homecoming was with Max. The idea hurt. And scared her a little. Did she want to pretend that Schneider was her boyfriend under genuinely romantic circumstances?

Was there any universe in which that would be a good idea?

She doubted it.

He was not wrong about the logic behind it, though. So she nodded, and kept her thoughts to herself.

“I can bring you flowers a lot,” Schneider decided. “To your work, to the house, everywhere.”

Penelope was about to say how romantic and sweet that was, until Schneider finished the thought with, “Nikki hates it when I get romantic with her, so maybe seeing how much you appreciate it will change her mind about what a good boyfriend I could be.”

“You have to visit me at work!” She blurted out, remembering it at the last minute.

“Huh?”

“Yeah. Like, lunch visits to stop in and say hi, or maybe picking me up after my shifts sometimes. Especially when I have my residency days at the hospital.”

“Oh. Right, right, right. Gotcha. Make him jealous. That’ll be a good time for the flower drop offs,” he noted, jotting it down on the list. “Now here’s the big one for me. You have to make time for a standing Friday night date, and you have to come with me to Alex’s first travel game.”

“What? No way! Schneider, you know how busy I am. You take him on travel games because I can’t. And I don’t have time to date for real, why would I--”

“Because, Penelope.” He drew her name out for emphasis. “If you want to make your family think this is real, then we have to date. Otherwise they will not buy it. No chance.”

“But the travel game? Those are overnight. Are you saying we’d have to share a bed, and...”

“It’s not a proposition,” Schneider said patiently. “You know what Alex’s travel games are like for me. I take him, he plays, he hangs out with his friends, and Nikki hits on me from the moment we arrive to the moment we leave again.”

“Oh.” Yes, okay, he had probably mentioned that, Penelope thought, but she didn’t exactly make Schneider’s love life a priority when it came to her limited brainspace.

“So, if we’re saying we’re a couple, and you don’t come on the travel games--at least the first one, to make a statement--then Nikki’s first move will be to show up at my door at 2am. If we want this to work, I need Nikki’s booty call to be met with your sexy girlfriend energy, like a forcefield that reminds her I can do better.”

Penelope couldn’t decide if she wanted to be be offended at the idea that her value lay in being a girlfriend-shaped buzzkill...or if she was weirdly flattered that he saw her presence as enough to make Nikki feel inferior.

There was no choice there that made her feel less gross as a person, so she shrugged and moved on.

“I get it. With Elena overseas and my job a little less hectic, I should be able to swing a travel game. We’ll trade off sharing the bed.”

“Noted.”

It was ages away. There was no way they’d still be trying to win over/repel their exes by then.

No chance.

She held out her hand for the pen and initialed the napkin, watching as he did so after.

“We should get snacks to take back to my mom,” Penelope decided, uncharacteristically.

Not that any of this was really characteristic of her. But it would help stop her Mami from blasting questions at them right away when they got back, and even a few seconds breathing room would be a blessing.

Schneider paid for all the food.

She chose not to argue. Her head hurt. She had a rich boyfriend now. Fake boyfriend.

Whatever.

He had money and she was all out of energy for negotiating. Plus, Schneider’s smile when she waved at him to go ahead and cover the cost was almost worth it.

He so wanted to share and help and offer himself up to everyone else.

As fake boyfriends went, she could do much worse.

****

As soon as they passed their additional snacks to her mom and cheered Alex, who was finally up at bat, Schneider took full advantage of his hands being free.

Penelope had agreed to the lie, but that didn’t mean she knew exactly how to fake a relationship. Where was she supposed to start?

Schneider had no such confusion, at least that she could see. He shifted himself closer than he usually stood at Alex’s games, and slung one arm over her shoulder so she was snuggled up against his side until it was time to cheer and try the wave.

It did feel very couple-y, she decided. He was good at this.

Nikki was glaring at them from her own seat, and every time Penelope caught it in the corner of her eye, it made her feel vindicated. Schneider deserved better, and lord knew why he was even hoping to convince Nikki to be his girlfriend at all, but since he was…well, that was Penelope’s best friend that Nikki liked to treat like dirt.

She took some joy in pissing off the woman who had dented his heart.

The daggers her Mami was shooting at both of them, the silent fuming and the restrained tension radiating off Lydia, Penelope knew that would last as long as Alex’s game did.

So, much like Schneider next to her, she just kept going through the motions. He focused on being her boyfriend now, and she focused on being the supportive mom for her talented sports kid, and she knew that Hurricane Lydia would land on them both as soon as they got home.

She was pretty sure the only reason her Mami didn’t explode even sooner than that was because it would’ve been dangerous to them driving home, and with her precious grandson in the car she wouldn’t risk it.

#alvareider #one day at a time #odaat #penelope x schneider #to all the men i've loved before #alvareider fic #odaat fic #my fic #lydia riera #nikki finn's mom #penelope alvarez #schneider

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thedeaditeslayer · 4 years

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Crash Palace Interview: Catching Up with Dana DeLorenzo.

This interview briefly brushes over Ash vs Evil Dead and Dana’s latest projects.

Even though it has been over two years since Ash vs Evil Dead has been on the air, fans still clamor for their favorite badass, Deadite slaying heroine, Kelly Maxwell. Dana DeLorenzo, the actress behind her is equally adored and cherished by admirers of the Sam Raimi legendary horror franchise.

So, as always, I was thrilled to speak with her about life after Ash, her latest movie, the heartwarming holiday comedy, Friendsgiving and what she has on the horizon. Welcome to the Crash Palace Interview with Dana DeLorenzo…

The Denouement of Ash vs Evil Dead Crash Palace: Thanks for speaking with me, Dana. It’s always a pleasure. Let’s talk about life after Ash vs Evil Dead. As you know, Lee Cronin is helming the latest installment in the Evil Dead franchise, Evil Dead Rise. Fans were hoping that the Ghostbeaters would be a part of that venture. While we know it is going in a different direction, do you think Kelly Maxwell could show up some time in the future?

Dana DeLorenzo: One can dream, right? Let me take this moment, right off the bat to say something I say often because I mean it, and I can’t say it enough. People who know me know this is not fan service. I say it when I’m not doing interviews; I say it to my closest friends and my family on the regular.

I am so grateful to the fans of Ash vs Evil Dead and the Evil Dead franchise all over the world. They have truly been my Jiminy Crickets throughout this insane, bizarre year that is 2020. They have gotten me through so many of the toughest days, just by keeping the bloody love alive. With every year that passes, even though we haven’t filmed a season of the show for three years, it feels like it’s fresh because of the fans .

So, to all you Ghostbeaters out there: I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope I get to meet all of you someday. But I can’t convey enough how your passion and love of the show has gotten me through this 2020 roller coaster; thank you for keeping Kelly’s ass-kicking spirit alive! On that note, I have really missed the show, I’ve missed playing Kelly. I posted some things recently about Ash vs Evil Dead, photos I hadn’t looked at in a while. I miss it a lot. I like to keep hope alive that someday, somewhere, the Ghostbeaters will be reunited. Even just for a quick Ghostbeaters fist bump.

Is Kelly Maxwell going to show up in this film? No. I won’t say never, but from what I understand, this is an alternate universe for Evil Dead Rise, separate from Fede Alvarez’s movie with Jane Levy and it’s separate from Ash vs Evil Dead. It’s a new adventure in the Evil Dead universe. And I can’t wait to see the new blood and guts journey Lee Cronin takes us on. I would like to think in the Ghostbeaters’ universe, we’re still kicking it and we’re still fighting evil. But I am loving that the fans are clamoring for it! They can keep pestering Rob, Sam and Bruce the way they have for twenty-five years before Ash vs Evil Dead came to be — their persistence is what got me that dream job.

So, if they want to continue to pester to bring us all back, I won’t stop them! Because we know the fans have the power to persuade. It might take another twenty-five years. But I am always down to play with those guys and our great crew.

CP: Do you keep in touch with anyone from the show?

DD: Yeah, I try and keep up with what everyone is doing and shoot them a message to tell them I miss them like the sap that I am. I just miss seeing their faces every day, you know? I miss Lucy’s face pretty hard, and not just because she’s ‘Lucy Flawless’! She’s got new shows left and right, she never stops! Ray and I randomly text Pablo and Kelly’s catchphrases to each other. “How are you holding up? / What is happening?!” We said that pretty much every episode so it still makes me laugh. Arielle and I chat often even though she lives in Australia, she’s like my little sister! Bruce often responds “ in character” with the latest Snapchat filter. He loves those — just check his Twitter feed — and it’s all my fault. I showed him how to make them while filming Season 3. He could probably do a show solely with Snapchat characters — I’d watch.

Fall from Perpetual Grace

CP: Let’s shift gears for a moment and talk about another series that you appeared on. You had a great run on EPIX with Perpetual Grace, LTD working with the talented Jimmi Simpson, Luis Guzman and of course, Jacki Weaver and Sir Ben Kingsley. There was some talk about a possible movie to tie up all the storylines after the show ended. Do you know if that is in the works?

DD: I have no idea, but I really hope that happens. Steven Conrad is a genius and so was that cast. If you haven’t seen or become a part of the cult following of Patriot on Amazon or Perpetual Grace, you should. But the people he casts and the stories he writes and the beauty of the cinematography, all create a piece of art that is in its own category. He has such a strong point of view, aesthetic and vision, you always know when you’re watching a Steven Conrad show.

I’ve been very lucky to be part of two shows where both casts were like extended family. Like Luis Guzman. We talked recently, I adore him. Side bar: I feel like in a crazy, crossover world, Luis could be Pablo’s other uncle because of his giant heart and comedic delivery. Anyway, we’re both working on my friend Joe Ahern’s indie comedy, The Disappearance of Toby Blackwood, which he co-wrote with Doug Mellard. And I can’t wait for people to see Luis slay the screen, yet again. The filming process is pretty innovative during COVID, where everyone but the two main characters filmed their parts at home using an app. These guys were doing it before anyone else, so kudos to them.

Friendsgiving: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

CP: I had the pleasure of watching Friendsgiving the other night and it was an enjoyable holiday film. You had some hilarious bits as Kat Dennings’ wise cracking sister, Barbara. What drew you to the project?

DD: Thank you for watching the film and I’m so glad you enjoyed it! It’s the kind of original comedy we all need right now.

I knew I was auditioning for Kat Dennings’ (Abby) sister Barbara, whose part of Abby’s Jersey-Italian family. Within the first two lines of that family exchange, I was cackling. I’m drawn to anything that grabs my attention on the page and holds it for the entire sitting of reading the script. Those lines of dialogue, the way the family members are unapologetically who they are, and the fact they mean well but are constantly giving you their two cents when you don’t want it or ask for it, hooked me. And that kind of art-imitating-life comedy held up for the rest of the script for me. Nicol Paone hit it out of the park, both on the page and behind the lens. And I’m pretty sure it’s loosely based on a Thanksgiving that Nicol and Malin Ackerman shared.

The subject matter was also relatable. I’ve celebrated Thanksgiving with my family as well as a couple of Friendsgivings. And the bottom line is, the holiday is just dysfunctional, always. It might be a lot more fun with your friends but it’s still going to be dysfunctional.

That concept makes me laugh. It’s not funny when you’re the one going through the stress and drama of Thanksgiving. However, it’s very funny watching someone else go through it. It’s cathartic. That’s why I loved it.

CP: With so many talented actors in the cast, do you have any behind the scenes anecdotes?

DD: There was a lot of laughing in between takes. It’s always a good sign when the crew laughs. Abby’s (Kat Dennings ) Jersey-Italian family was cast perfectly, and the actors were so damn funny! Rose Abdoo plays our mom, Nadya Ginsburg as Aunt Anna and Johnny Williams plays Uncle Sal. Like I said, it was already funny on the page, and Nicol being a New Jersey Italian herself really captured the essence of those family conversations. The actors brought Nicol’s words to life, and on a few takes she let us riff. In one scene the Aunt Anna character was telling the scripted story of a sexual gesture; I remember laughing so hard at her adlibbing additional euphemisms for that particular act by referencing Italian food.

One of my favorite things Nicol did was add some of the funniest ad-libs and bloopers in the end credits. I love seeing those! Now everyone who sees the film will get to see those behind the scenes moments.

The Show Must Go On

CP: When we were coordinating this interview, you told me that you were going into the studio to do voiceover work. Can you give us a hint about this upcoming effort?

DD: The show features a cast of familiar faces that might have worked together recently. I just realized what everyone is probably going to think when they read this.

CP: Sorry everyone, it isn’t Ash vs Evil Dead. However, you have more work on the way. According to IMDb, you have completed a short film called PCH. What else can your fans look forward to?

DD: The Disappearance of Toby Blackwood which I mentioned before but we’re still filming that. I am so excited about this voiceover project because it’s completely original in every way, it really hasn’t been done before. And of course, Friendsgiving is out now in select theatres and VOD. It’s the perfect film to watch this Thanksgiving when we can’t celebrate as we usually do. You can laugh at the characters’ holiday drama and maybe even be grateful to take this year off.

CP: Will you be appearing at any virtual conventions like Bruce and Ted are doing for Wizard World events?

DD: There are a couple in the works. But in the meantime, I’ve teamed up with this new platform called, Real Talk Live, which is both an app and on the web. It’s like a virtual convention where you can live video chat one on one, basically like a Zoom call. You can schedule the video call in advance or whenever catch me whenever I’m live. I think it’s a great solution, and personally I’m really looking forward to connecting with Evil Dead fans this way until live events pick back up. And it’s accessible worldwide so this will be great to finally see the amazing fans I hear from overseas. I miss interacting with them in the flesh, hearing their stories and seeing their badass cosplays! And do I miss pose-punching them in our epic photos. So I end with this, because I can’t say this enough: “Thank you, Ghostbeaters! I love you more than Ash Williams loves his Delta!”

Many thanks to Dana DeLorenzo for spending time with me at Crash Palace. For those of you that haven’t had the chance to catch Friendsgiving, it is available online by buying or renting it as a video-on-demand on iTunes, FandangoNow and VUDU.

#Crash Palace #Dana DeLorenzo

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missmonsters2 · 5 years

Text

Tequila On Your Lips

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Prompt Request: Anonymous

- 4: Do you have any idea what this feels like?

- 6: We’re not just friends, and you fucking know it.

Note: Oh god, I love Wanda so much. I hope you enjoy this (and by enjoy I mean crying like me).

Warnings: Chest pains because angst. Also, leading up to sexy times (no smut) and then mentions of sexy times.

Count: 2839

Translations:

милый/milyj - Darling

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶

If you could describe your relationship with Wanda, it would be called “in between.”

You were a little more than friends, but you weren’t dating.

And if you were honest with yourself, you don’t think you could cross that line with Wanda.

She was the forever type and that fucking scared you. You cared so much about Wanda and you truly valued your friendship with her. So the idea that you could somehow fuck that up scared you enough to not cross that line with her.

But it didn’t stop you guys from handholding, cuddling on the couch when watching movies, and she basically slept in your room every night.

If Wanda could describe her relationship with you, she would say “painful longing.”

She’s been in love with you for so long now. When you had first arrived to be recruited within the Avengers, you had spent so much time getting to know her, being there for her, genuinely connecting with her.

How the hell was she supposed to not fall in love with you?

Yet it felt like you were playing a game of tug-o-war with her. Sometimes you were so affectionate with her and you would allow her to hold hands with you, embrace you, enter your personal space. But when it felt like the relationship was going to move into the next step, you would become distant, putting boundaries around everything.

It was driving her insane. She didn’t want to ask you straight out because she was getting the vibe that you would pull away completely if she brought it. She was so tempted to just read your mind to see what was going on but she didn’t want to invade your privacy and break your trust.

So, she was left with the hot and cold behavior you put her through. She supposed it was better than nothing.

Currently, the two of you were sitting on the couch, watching b-rated horror movies. Wanda couldn’t understand your enjoyment of them, but she loved to sit there while you made commentary on it. She sat there cuddled into your side while your arm was wrapped around her, idly scratching her sculpt.

Wanda was nearly purring at the sensation and domestic feeling of it all.

“Why? Why would you split up? In what world would it make sense to split up when there’s a serial killer coming for you? Oh my god, these people deserve to die.” You were mumbling again and Wanda just smiled against your side, patting your stomach softly.

The peace was short-lasting when Tony, Steve, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Vision, Bucky, and Sam filled in the room.

They weren’t even surprised to see the two of you invading each other’s spaces. Everyone was quite aware of Wanda’s feeling for you. They were, in fact, wondering when you would pull your head out of your ass and admit you loved Wanda too.

“Okay, guys, it’s been a shitty week for us all with the last couple of missions. We’re so beat down and we need to go out. Get your asses ready to go clubbing, I’ve booked us VIP rooms.” Tony tells everyone, clapping his hands.

Steve, Bucky, and Sam look at each other before walking out of the room to get ready.

Clint and Natasha subtly grin at each other, thankful for the reprieve and made food first before deciding to get ready.

“Come on, Vision. You can’t go to the club floating around with a cape and giant stone sticking out of your forehead,” Tony says, motioning the android to follow along.

Vision looked down at himself with his eyebrow furrowed and frowned before floating along behind Tony.

You sighed, turning off the TV and Wanda groaned as she had to leave your warmth.

“I haven’t been to the club since I was 18,” you mumbled, not sure if you were looking forward to the outing or not.

“Don’t you have to be 21 to enter a club or bar?” Wanda asked with her brows scrunched together in confusion.

“Yeah,” You tell her with a smirk, not elaborating any further. The Witch simply laughed and slapped your arm playfully before she left to get ready

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶

You were waiting downstairs with the guys as the girls had yet to finished. You had done your makeup but opted for a more casual look wearing black jeans, a white v-neck t-shirt, and a leather jacket.

You were chatting with Steve about how dancing evolved and he would be kind of hard-pressed to find someone at the club they were going to who would do the kind of dancing he was thinking of.

Before you could say anything else, you caught a glimpse of Wanda and Natasha walking down the stairs behind Steve.

Your eyes landed on Wanda and your throat went dry.

She had her hair curled and half of it tied up, showing off her angular features. The tight red strapless dress she wore showed her slender figure and honestly, you were a little afraid of being unable to keep your hands to yourself.

She came down and immediately went up to you, holding onto your arm innocently, looking up at you with her long lashes.

You went a little stiff but smiled at her.

”You look amazing, Wanda,” you told her and she beamed at you.

Wanda had seen you looking at her, pupils dilating as you took her in and she couldn’t suppress her smirk.

“Thank you,” she said, taking your look in hungrily.

Tony ushered everyone out and into the limo. He immediately popped champagne for everyone and the conversations got louder as Natasha and Clint were on a mission to see who could out drink each other, going into Tony’s other liqueur collection.

“This is going to be a short night at this point,” you mused quietly to Wanda as you watched the two of them continuously take shots.

“You would be surprised, those two can drink heavily. Natasha always out drinks him though.” Wanda told you, angling her knees to touch yours.

“Is her liver okay?” You asked with mild horror as you watched her take her 7th shot in a row.

Wanda simply laughed and the sound made you smile.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶

This was definitely the fanciest club you’ve ever been to in New York, though that didn’t stop a giant crowd being in the middle of the dance floor jumping and grinding against each other as the DJ played.

In the VIP room, Tony popped more champagne, most of it exploding on the floor. You and Wanda took shots together, smiling at the buzz you were starting to get. You smiled sympathetically at Steve and Bucky who didn’t bother trying to drink.

You weren’t even sure why Clint wanted to outdrink Natasha. It was physically impossible as she most likely didn’t feel the effects of it anyways.

You think Natasha just drinks for the taste.

After maybe one too many drinks or shots, Wanda was dragging you onto the dance floor. With the crowded floor, you were forced to stand exponentially close to Wanda. You were basically melded against her body and she hummed pleasantly as she put her hands around your neck and moved her body against you.

You were really feeling the buzz of the alcohol and Wanda grinding against you as she moved to the music wasn’t helping your cause.

You don’t know how long you were out on the floor for, all you could feel was the beat thumping against your skin and Wanda right against you.

Wanda has had enough of the games and the tequila shots were giving her a new confidence to seduce you. She would be damned if she let you escape her tonight. God, she loved the feeling of your hands on her hips as her back was pressed against you, and the way you would slide your hands up her body.

When you turned her around to face you, her body meeting yours perfectly, she angled her face close to yours, lips ghosting over your own as she teased you.

Your eyes fluttered closed as you just felt...Wanda. When you opened your eyes, she was right there.

She was right there and she was everything you wanted, everything you ever wanted.

Your hands went to slide up her neck and into her hair as you pulled her close and collided your lips into hers.

Wanda moaned into your mouth as she enthusiastically returned the kiss, arms wrapped around you.

When you pulled apart, Wanda licked her lips.

“Take me home,” she mumbled against your lips. You were already grabbing her by the wrist as you led her out of the dance floor and away from the crowd.

You hailed a cab and tried to control yourself from literally taking her in the back seat of this taxi.

It didn’t help that Wanda was stroking your thigh and leaning against your side as she would nip at your neck and earlobe. You had to grab her hand and lace it together to placate her into behaving.

You were kissing the entire way into the compound, shredding and discarding clothing over the floor as you made your way onto your floor and room. You shut the door behind you with your heel, refusing to let your lips leave Wanda’s. She was pulling you forward until the back of her knees hit your bed and she was falling back onto it with you on top of her.

You let out a quiet yelp but it was enough to cause Wanda to giggle, which then caused you to giggle as well.

You were both breathing heavily, chest heaving, and you made no move to get off of Wanda.

“I want you, милый,” Wanda whispered, and you shuttered as her accent became more prominent.

“Do you want me too?” Wanda asked, bringing her fingers to lift your chin to look at her.

“Yes,” you hissed, your entire being exploding as you crashed your lips down onto Wanda again, your hand tracing her arms until it reached her fingers for you to lace together.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶

The sun was shining through your open window, causing you to groan. Your head was pounding and your mouth felt dry.

You mumbled quietly to herself, pulling the blanket over your eyes as you shuffled closer to the warm body next to you.

You sighed contently but then paused.

Why could you feel a bare torso?

In fact, why could you feel so much bare skin?

You peeled your eyes opened and saw Wanda’s messy mane spread over your pillows, which wasn’t out of the ordinary as she slept in your room often.

You carefully lifted the blanket and nearly had a heart attacked seeing the both of you naked.

The images of last night came rushing back to you and you had to resist against screaming and jumping out of the bed.

The last thing you wanted to do was wake up Wanda. You carefully got out of your bed, grabbing the clothes you could find from the floor and exited your room quietly.

Jesus fucking Christ! Why the fuck did you do that? You were both drunk and now you’ve gone and crossed the line you said you wouldn’t cross.

Your face was contorted in anger with yourself as you went to find a shower.

You ended up avoiding Wanda all day by just literally not being at the compound

You didn’t answer her or anyone’s phone calls or text messages. When it was late at night, you tried to sneak back in, heading up to the roof. You weren’t sure if maybe Wanda was already in your room waiting for you.

Honestly, you weren’t even sure how long you could avoid her.

You let out a deep breath as you opened the door to the roof and climbed up the stairs.

“Holy shit!” You exclaimed, hand to your chest as you found Wanda already standing there looking thoroughly unimpressed with you and upset.

“We need to talk,” Wanda said and you felt your heart drop into your stomach.

You swallowed, “okay.”

“You were avoiding me today,” Wanda says, arms crossed as she stood in front of you.

“I...” You started to say, but you didn’t know what to say.

“Last night...” Wanda started but you weren’t ready for this.

“Last night was a drunk mistake,” you say and Wanda’s breath hitches as you watch the hurt cross her eyes.

“Is that how you really feel?” She asks you and you hesitate because you don’t know if that’s how you feel.

On the one hand, last night was amazing, but on the other hand, you weren’t ready to try dating. What if it didn’t work out? You don’t think you could live without Wanda and you would rather keep her as a friend then date and have it not work out, and then not have her at all.

“Yes,” you finally say, “we’re just frien--”

“Don’t you fucking dare say that. We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” Wanda tells you, her brows her in an angry line as her jaw is clenched. Her eyes are watering because you’re breaking her heart.

You don’t know what to say because it’s true. You’ve always known that you weren’t just friends with her.

But what could you do?

Wanda scoffed unbelievably at you, eyes rolled to the side briefly before returning to you.

“Do you have any idea how this feels like?” She asks you. “Every time we’re together, I have to think about whether or not I can hold hands with you, cuddle you, be in your space. Sometimes you’re so affectionate with me and you make me think that you want more but just as quick as it happens, you get so distant. You’re breaking my heart.”

You swallowed painfully because christ, it was hurting you too.

“We can stop,” you tell Wanda, but that seems to break Wanda’s heart even more.

Hot angry tears are pouring for her eyes as she glares at you. “When I said I wanted you last night, I didn’t just mean at that moment. I wanted you in the morning too and everything after that. I love you, and you love me too. Don’t you dare lie to yourself about that.”

You feel a hot burning in the back of your eyes and in your throat, but you’re willing yourself to not cry.

“I can’t,” you croak. “I can’t risk losing you by changing what we have.”

Wanda put her hand on your arm, stepping a little closer. “You’re going to lose me anyways if we keep going like this.”

That breaks your heart. This is why you didn’t want to cross the line because now everything was falling apart and there was nothing you could do to fix it.

One drunken night with Wanda wasn’t worth your entire friendship with her.

Suddenly, you’re a little angry at Wanda. How could she try to force you to change your relationship? Why couldn’t she see what you guys had was enough?

Can’t she see how terrified you are?

Can’t she see it’s doomed if it doesn’t work out?

“Can you guarantee that we won’t break up?” You ask her. She opens her mouth to answer, but you’re not done.

“Can you promise me that if we break up, we can go exactly back to how we were before? Can you promise that it won’t change anything at all? Can you promise that if we break up and if I see someone new, it won't absolutely destroy you to see that? Because it would destroy me to see you move on if we date.”

You could live with her dating someone if you were just friends, you wouldn’t have that right to be angry. But if you dated and it somehow did work out and she started to see someone new? It would devastate you because she would’ve been yours, you would know what it would be like to have her. To watch someone else get that? You couldn’t bear to experience that.

Wanda is taken aback by your rapid fire of questions. The anger leaves her eyes but they remained narrowed as her brows are still furrowed.

She hesitates as she thinks about what you said.

You pull your arm away from her grasp, looking at her and hoping she understands how you feel. “You’re right, I do love you, but because I love you, I rather keep you as a friend that stays in my life no matter what. I wouldn’t be able to survive if we break up and everything changes. Let me know when being a friend is enough for you.”

Turning around, you leave, heart heavy and upset that everything was changing when you fought so hard for it to not.

And when Wanda didn’t call your name as you left, it broke your heart to reaffirm that you were right, you guys can’t be more.

#mm: my fics #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x ofc #Wanda Maximoff Imagine #Scarlet Witch Imagine #Scarlet Witch x Reader #mcu #Avengers #avengers imagine #avengers reader insert #genre: angst

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dexi-green · 4 years

Text

Rise of Skywalker was good. Rant/Appreciation, spoilers ahead. Super long and rambling. This is all personal opinion, if you disliked it, thats fine. If you disagree, great.

First some quick points, then the longer stuff.

I loved Babu Frik and D-O

We finally got to see the Knights of Ren in action!

Also all those Star Destroyers?? Like those things are gotdamn huge... and that many of them? Actually scary honestly.

LANDO LANDO LANDO! LANDO AND CHEWIE IN THE FALCON!!

WEDGE!!!

CHEWIE GETS HIS MEDAL!!!

Also not gonna lie.. I wanted to see a gungan. Put some respect on Jar Jar. Or confirm the Darth Jar Jar theory you cowards.

We got to see a proper version of Rey’s version of Luke’s Dark Side cave vision (The TLJ one just wasn’t it for me. The mirrors..okay...)

Storm Troopers fly now... Did they steal stuff from some Mandalorians. Mandalorians are like..the only ones ever to have jet packs like that (that I’m aware of). Maybe the Mandalorian show will see some leftover imperials stealing Mandalorian armor, which they will replicate (obviously badly, because there stuff is no beskar).

I was so happy to see the interactions between Leia and Connix, because I just loved to see Billie with her mom <3 I’m so glad they gave her a role and just kept expanding it.

Hux... I love the back and forth between him and General Pryde, (I was hoping Richard E Grant would’ve played Thrawn but alas...) wondering who the mole is, and OF COURSE ITS HUX! Because he just wants to see Kylo lose. We love it.. I’m kinda sad he was taken out so quick, but it was good while it lasted.

How they tried to push Poe into some kind of.. not relationship, but not too subtlety trying to tell the audience, no he’s not gay, in like...just a bad writing way, like okay gosh, he’s straight (Also Poe was a drug runner...). That LGBTQ “representation” was trash, but definitely better than Endgame’s so-called representation.

I also wished we woulda got more (legacy) cameos, especially in the final battle when all the ships arrive. Maybe the Ghost Crew (I think you can see the ship though), or a character from the Mandalorian show (I was hoping for more tie-in’s in general (baby yoda), but The Mandalorian did sorta set up the force healing ability). My foolish soul was hoping for a super old old clone or a super old and scarred up Mace Windu, or just super old Ahsoka, but this film 100% confirmed no going back that they are totally dead with their voices amongst the other dead jedi :/ I can’t have everything and thats alright. I’m just glad they were in there in some capacity.

JJ has said that the thing Finn was going to tell Rey was that he was force sensitive (none of the good ships flew sadly imo) but that is still...amazing to me. I love it so much. Especially with that exchange between him and Han in TFA “We’ll use the force.” “That’s not how the force works.”. Hopefully he got or gets the chance to tell Rey because then she could train him and <3 Also I think that now makes it go back to no non-force sensitive people have used a lightsaber in the films (aside from Grievous). I loved the inclusion of Jannah and the other storm trooper deserters. Not only because of the kinship with Finn, but also... They are on a moon of Endor... So moon of the Endor system inhabitants, with slightly primitive techniques and tools and things come to help in the final battle? I love it. Putting some respeck on the Ewoks (also we see Ewoks?!?! Specifically Wickett <3) (Also I noticed a Fire, Water, Earth theme. The final battle in the prequels was in fire/lava. The final battle in the original trilogy was on the forest moon of endor, and while not the final battle, Kef Bir is the ocean moon of endor)

Palpatine doing what we all knew he was, using bodies to live through. I mean thats why he always had apprentices, just so he could skip over to them when his body got gross and weak, or at the very least work through them. I definitely wanna know more about the whole Snoke operation. We knew it was insane for some rando to be that powerful to be whispering and seducing Ben to the dark side from birth. And the cloning? like please, tell me more. I loved Palpatine’s exclamation of “Return of the Sith!” as an obvious nod to the films Return of the Jedi and Revenge of the Sith, but also the fact Return was going to be Revenge of the Jedi.

I LOVE LOVEDDDD the small scene of Luke training Leia. Yeah the CGI on their faces wasn’t the best but just being able to see it and knowing that he did go forward and train her as well as other students was everything to me. I’ve always wanted Leia’s force abilities to be more acknowledged outside of the comics, so you know I went crazy in the scene from TLJ (for multiple reasons). Leia training Rey?! Rey referring to her (and Luke) as her jedi masters?! we love to see it <3 Rey going back to Tatooine, back to the moisture farm (I could just hear Aunt Beru calling out for Luke (but also him calling for her and uncle owen when they got disintegrated..oop)). Calling herself a Skywalker, AND SEEING LUKE AND LEIA’S FORCE GHOST!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT (but hate it because it’s the end). THE TWIN SUNS AS THE SAGA ENDS WHERE IT BEGAN!!

The voices of the Jedi at the end?!? I cried. I mean there was Anakin, Obi-Wan (both old and young), Qui Gon, Mace Windu, Yoda, and Luke of course, but also Aaayla Secura, Luminara, Adi Gallia, KANAN JARRUS (who is voice by Freddie Prinze Jr. aka the best Fred Scooby Doo could ask for) , AHSOKA TANO!!! Nothing I want more than more Ahsoka <3 I would’ve loved to see them all show up as Force Ghosts at the end ala the ghosts of Harry’s family in Harry Potter Goblet of Fire/Deathly Hallows but I understand why they opted for voices only. Also no Ki-Adi-Mundi because while everyone was saying, “Rey, You can do it! We are with you!” he just woulda been like, “But...what about the droid attack on the wookiees?”

Han!! Han!! When he appeared to Kylo, after Leia pulled him back as much as she could, and Rey healed him and inched him further, and then of course, Han finished the job. Leia asked him to bring him back and he did in the end. The person he seemingly hated the most (maybe thats tied with Luke. I honestly would’ve liked to see some kinda of thing between Luke and Ben, some reconciliation). The famous Solo “I know” which we all know means I love you. like come onnnnn <3 AND Ben and Leia’s bodies becoming one with the force... but Leia only after Ben... like she was holding on, waiting for him <3 This really made me like Ben/Kylo a bit more, obviously the light side Ben more, because Kylo is actual trash imo.

I cried when Chewie cried for Leia. Her death was sad on it’s own, but Chewie just broke me. He had a happy family, then Ben went bad, Han and Leia split, and Luke left, then when he thinks everything is coming back together, He lost Han, then he lost Luke, now Leia? If you actually watch him he just collapses to the ground, throwing his arms, sobbing... AND HAVING TO SEE HIM IN SHACKLES!?!? And not like “oh we gotta trick these guards” but actually captured and shackled, After all the wookiees being captured and enslaved and he how he had to deal with that...come on man....

I cried when Luke pulled his X-wing out of the water. We all saw it submerged in TLJ, waiting for that moment when someone would do it. The fact that he does it, when he couldn’t back when it happened on Dagobah. It shows how much he’s grown, showed him stepping into Yoda’s role even more fully. He never got to leave that island in it, but Rey did. Plus Rey wearing his Rebel helmet like she wore the helmet in TFA?! Honestly... Two “nobodies” from nowhere sand planets who become the hope and saviors of the galaxy (you could include Anakin in that as well, but he just...kinda sparked the hope in Luke and was his savior so...indirectly the hope and savior).

The only thing I didn't like was the Ben and Rey kiss at the end but luckily it wasn't drawn out and he died right after. Cause you really expect me to believe that within the same movie of him pushing her to her limits and making her believe she killed a friend that she gone be like...oh but you still cute tho? Also while re-watching everything and watching the prequels last month I remembered how Palpatine influenced the midichlorians/force to make Anakin in Shmi (it might not be canonized though, I’m not sure...). Obviously he’s not a biological father but...he is responsible...so that in a way makes him Kylo's grandfather in a sense. Rey is Sheev’s biological granddaughter so...big yikes. To me Kylo/Ben and Rey have a much better dynamic as brother and sister anyway.. I think a brother and sister bond suit them so much better. A rhyme of Luke and Leia, and the forged sibling bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin. It has pieces of both and would have been beautiful for it to play out that way. About Rey pulling her family in Ben Solo back to the light. I mean she even thought of Han, Leia, and Luke as parental figures... but luke and leia kissed so :/ guess just a family thing.

Running themes in all of star wars is hope, family, and who you are. In this, the prequels were the darkest. They end in a family divided, hope seemingly lost, and giving into the worst parts of yourself. The original trilogy was about finding the hope in the darkest times, becoming more than you think of yourself, and that family can overcome anything together. This trilogy was about clinging onto hope that you can find and making it a beacon for others, becoming more than what you and others think of you, "subverting destiny", and the fact that family isn't blood, not always. Just because someone tells you you're a monster, just because you started to believe it, doesn't mean you are. Once you have hope you hold onto it with everything you have, no matter how many times you fail or slip.

Rey being a Palpatine isn't "the bad guys bloodline living while the good guys die out". It isn't about bloodlines. Sure Kylo and Vader's terrible deeds will live on in infamy, but so will the entire rebellion's. Instead of being like, "oh well by blood I'm a Palpatine so I gotta use that last name" she made a conscious choice to go by Skywalker, because of what the Skywalker family meant to her and the galaxy, so that their deeds live on and not Palpatine. He will become a bad memory, a scar on history, while Skywalker’s, the positive idea of them, will continue to live and spark hope year and years into the future. Her blood isn't tainted and her grandfathers nature isn't hers, if it was she really would be the empress on the sith throne after Palpatine's death. She would've took Kylo's hand and offers before. Its the same with Kylo. He succumbed to what Rey was actively fighting against. Its the idea its harder to be good than bad.

Palpatine's bloodline living on means nothing unless Rey decided to make it mean something. But she didn't. As far as I'm concerned the only thing the bloodline might've impacted is her connection to the force and how strong it was naturally (like Kylo because of Leia (maybe Han..debatable, i like to believe he’s a little force sensitive) and her and Luke's connection to it because of Anakin). Her parents also actively fought against Palpatine as far as we know, Luke and Leia fought against Vader like... To say oh your parent was like this so you are gonna turn out the same? Yikes. Also Finn and the other stormtrooper deserters? Literally brainwashed from such a young age to be killers but they said no? It seems like the theme was you can fight against your destiny or like Yoda said about the future being hard to see because its constantly moving so "destiny" is kinda just a trash idea, be who you are or the person you want to be, not what others tell you.

Also I see some people saying it destroyed Anakin's legacy, and I have to disagree. To the fan's Anakin's legacy was never killing Palpatine. Sure that was the action, but the act was saving Luke. It was coming back from the dark to the light to save his son and in a way, the rest of the galaxy, at least for a time, it was betraying his master. It was the why he did it, not the how. Not only did he save Luke's life, but he fueled Luke to go forward and continue down the path of hope and light as long as he could. Anakin's true legacy lives on in Luke and Leia and the Rebellion. Palpatine's return doesn't diminish Anakin's sacrifice. Because it wasn’t about just destroying Palpatine. Anakin/Vader's thoughts went to Padme and Luke, and the prophecy of bringing balance, he knew he had to do something. When Luke takes off his helmet when Anakin is dying he thinks, “The boy was good, and the boy had come from him–so there must have been good in him, too. He smiled up again at his son, and for the first time, loved him. And for the first time in many long years, loved himself again, as well.” (coming from the novelization of Return). As long as Luke lived, and Luke's legacy lives on, so does Anakin's and so does Anakin’s return to the light. Anakin's legacy and impact, the good and the bad, will continue. Maybe the people of that galaxy won't know of the person named Anakin compared to sith lord Darth Vader, but his impact will always be there.

Yeah they aren’t always the most perfectly written stories with the best effects and yadda yadda, I know there are some missteps and less then stellar things in this films, but they are here to entertain, and I’m entertained. There is probably so much I’m missing, and I really want to go see it again, and can’t wait till it’s out on DVD or streaming services...

It was a beautiful film that did the best it could to end a saga thats bigger than anything ever, thats been going on for years, something that is unheard of and never been done. I just want to honor the history, the memory, and the work it all took. I just love these films so much. <3 Also, always remembering Carrie, Peter M. and Peter C., Christoper, and Kenny, and all other actors and crew who have passed who lent their time and effort to all of these films and this entire franchise <3

#rise of skywalker #star wars #spoilers #rise of skywalker spoilers #ros spoilers #star wars spoilers #rey #kylo ren #skywalker #finn #poe dameron #luke skywalker #leia organa #chewbacca #sw #rant #long post #read more #personal opinion

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tlbodine · 4 years

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1970s: Murderous Kids Continued

Our fixation on murderous children (and contentious marriages) continues, with an additional pivot toward what I like to call “God save us from psychoanalysts” because boy let me tell you, mental health professionals have not been portrayed in a particularly great light in films thus far!

This week was a pair of films I’d never seen before.

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First off, The Brood (1979) by David Cronenberg.

Cronenberg is kind of the grand-daddy of body horror. I’m not sure if he fully invented the genre in film, but he sure did build on it in unique and horrifying ways. You might better know him for his later films Videodrome or The Fly.

Anyhoo, The Brood tells the story of a guy trying his best to take care of his daughter while his wife/ex-wife is locked up in a very intensive and experimental mental health program called “psychoplasmics,” through which patients apparently confront their problems with uncomfortably performative roleplay sessions. When the dad discovers bruises on his daughter’s back after visiting her mother, he becomes deeply concerned and goes to give the psychologist -- kind of a predatory quackpot, by all appearances -- a piece of his mind.

But things escalate quickly when the wife’s mother is attacked and killed in her home by a strange, malformed goblin-child. These attacks continue and escalate while the father delves deeper into understanding psychoplasmics and how all of it is deeply, horrifyingly connected.

Hard to say for certain what it’s about, in the end. Is it a misogynistic take on the evilness of women and the dangers of female pain and empowerment? Or is it a critical look at the way that men in power weaponize a woman’s trauma against her? The story’s bleak ending suggests there are no good answers, however you look at it.

I will say this for The Brood: I didn’t see any of it coming. That was a wild ride from beginning to end. As always, Cronenberg’s body horror effects are the star of the show and hold up to modern viewing in a way that only practical effects can. The score is quite effective, too, the film music debut of Howard Shore (who you might know as “that guy who did the music for LOTR”).

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Next up was Alice, Sweet Alice, directed by Alfred Sole in 1976.

The premise: There are two sisters, Alice and Karen. Everybody loves Karen because she’s sweet and pretty. Everybody hates Alice because she’s weird and quiet and angry all the time. When Karen is brutally murdered on the day of her first communion, Alice is the obvious suspect...but what if she wasn’t actually the one responsible?

In the hands of a different director, and with a script that made a bit more sense, this concept could have been really interesting. I actually kind of hope this movie gets remade at some point because the core ideas are cool -- ideas about whether we doom our children by rushing to label them in certain ways, ideas about religion and sin and whether maybe those labels doom us too, ideas about how families in pain receive scorn or distrust or abuse from the people who should be giving them sympathy and aid.

Like I said, this movie could have successfully explored those things.

But it...doesn’t, really. Mostly it’s an over-long snooze-fest punctuated with the occasionally accidentally-comedic murder scene and a plot more twisted and convoluted than a ratking’s tail. It makes use of the “masked killer” trope to mislead its audience in a hamfisted way, it’s hard to keep all of the characters straight, and motives are really never addressed or understood in any way that makes sense. Also, unnervingly, people keep bizarrely sexualizing young Alice -- from the creepy landlord who tries to molest her, to the police interrogators who fixate on her breasts, to the hamfisted discussion of her menstruation -- and it’s not clear at all that this is supposed to be serving the narrative in any particular way.

I’m really not sure at all how any of these pieces are meant to fit together or why the choices were made the way they were.

Although, in my quest to better understand this film, I learned that it was the filmmaker’s second movie -- his first being an erotic film called Deep Sleep, which was confiscated for obscenity and became center of a major scandal (also, please do read that article because it’s wild, there is no way I can summarize this scenario in a brief sentence that will do it justice). After Alice, Sweet Alice, he made another adult film called Tanya’s Island, which has this description:

Tanya (Vanity) is a female model who lives with her boyfriend Lobo (Richard Sargent), a surrealist painter who is extremely violent. Subjected to Lobo's constant abuse, Tanya dreams of escaping to a desert island, and her dream comes true. The only other person on her island is an enormous blue-eyed man-ape (played by Don McLeod and voiced by Donny Burns) who emerged from one of Lobo's paintings. Tanya befriends the beast and nicknames him "Blue." Soon she begins to feels a strange attraction to the creature, which makes Lobo increasingly jealous in the real world. He becomes determined to capture the man-ape and put it in a cage.

Which seems kind of promising, actually, until you watch the trailer:

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...Yeah.

Sole made one more movie, Pandemonium, which was a horror-parody with the tag-line, “Finally, a movie that is totally taste-free,” so maybe by this point Sole was realizing that his artistic vision was never going to jibe with the public at larger.

Amusingly enough, he turned away from directing and started working in production design, and still works as a production designer on TV shows like Castle, so, hey, good for him honestly.

(Another fun fact: This movie was the film debut of young Brooke Shields, who soon after would get a more robust role as...uh....a child prostitute in Pretty Baby. What the fuck even were the 1970s).

Anyway. You can skip this movie, but I’m glad that watching it gave me a reason to research this filmmaker a bit because the deeper I look the more batshit insane everything about this becomes.

#horror by the decade #horror through the decades #horror movies #the brood #alice sweet alice #what the fuck were those movies #i have questions

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

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Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 10 - Candy Part 1 again

I was told that finishing the epilogue MAY make me feel better by some with opinions, with some vague hints that the ridiculous start of Candy may have underlying reasons, so now that I’m awake again (though my stomach is roiling a bit again) I’m gonna take another crack at it.

Alright, so I was also hinted that this Candy part ends with a different cliffhanger, so maybe those two will cancel out? That’s my hope anyway.

Reading page 1 again since I didn’t finish the very tail end of it... alright, so WHY IS ROXY CRYING again???? Was she just PRETENDING that she didn’t know it might turn out bad for John if he went at the end of the last one? Was there some weird mind-rewriting going on? Is the crying a symptom of this whole thing potentially being an our!Callie fanfic and she knows what’s being dodged?? Don’t know.

Alright, let’s have him save Gamzee and... is Vriska going to get saved in this version? Or is that descent into the black hole without seeing what happens her well-deserved comeuppance while only the ghost version of Vriska truly figured out how to be happy?

==>

Dirk acknowledges him when he zaps back, but it’s YOUNG Dirk so hopefully there isn’t any stupid Meat stuff going on.

...Yeah, Gamzee immediately being repentant is weird as shit. Maybe he Chucklevoodoo’d Callie into escaping him into this whole candied mess so he could start shit, I dunno. That or this isn’t really Gamzee or someone’s manipulating him or etc etc etc. The hint I got earlier was that if I thought Calliope wanting to bring Gamzee back and everyone just rolling with it was a little out of character, there are “reasons”, so I’m just going through all of this under the assumption that some emotion-manipulating weirdness is going on regardless.

Oh shit, Gamzee’s going to start recounting his character reasons for doing bad stuff in a surface-hope of justification and understanding. All the characters immediately recognize how painfully groanworthy this is going to be.

GAMZEE: AnD sUcH iS wHy I’m GrAbBiNg HoLd Of My RePeNtAnCe As FiRm AnD sErIoUs As I wOuLd A wHoRe’S tItTy!

Yeah, that really encapsulates how “serious” all of this is. And of course, John’s not having any of it.

Yeah, Terezi wouldn’t have any of it either, remotely.

Something feels different, but he can’t put his finger on it.

Hm. The aforementioned manipulation-weirdness?

==>

Okay, so it’s kind of Dirk who notices something different and is cancelling his stupid villain plans, got it.

Volatility of causality, huh?

(I’m going to be going through these parts a little faster than the Meat section, unsurprisingly.)

==>

Okay, Rose and Kanaya, are we gonna cure her substance abuse or--

With all the distance between them lately,

God damnit, have Dirk’s manipulations extended that far OFFSCREEN or is this legitimate character distancing???? Because either is BAD. >:(

Right, now that the plot and “relevance” has been sidelined over to a different timeline, Rose can now breathe easy free of her condition. And whichever parts of her condition were, perhaps, IMPOSED on her. Fuck.

I’m going to try my fucking best to cling to this, hope I can carry on a memory after this is over that DOESN’T imagine Rose trapped in a fucking existential dying villain coma with a hard fucking cutoff that promises nothing is ever coming to resolve it ever. (Or Jade in a somewhat-similar sidelined situation, or Jane doomed to fuck herself over and everyone else too, or...)

What’s slipping away instead is the feeling that any of it mattered at all. Was she insane to be so consumed by such lofty concerns, and is she only beginning to experience clarity today, for the first time in ages?

Yeah, you’re no longer in a timeline of Light and relevance. And that’s not so bad, which is something you never expected to be true given your derision of the concept. Void is pretty goddamn alright.

--Oh right, the illness and substance abuse probably caused plenty of distance between them.

KANAYA: There Was A Feeling I Couldnt Shake That Something Terrible Was Going To Happen To Us KANAYA: Something That Neither Of Us Could Stop KANAYA: A Powerful Outside Force That Would Take You Away From Me KANAYA: And I Couldnt Stop Myself From Thinking That Maybe KANAYA: Maybe That It Would Be For The Best ROSE: Kanaya... KANAYA: I Can Now See That This Is Completely Ridiculous

For some reason, this doesn’t settle my stomach much? It’s clear Andrew wove this in here so that if you read Meat first, you’d be able to acknowledge readily how this diverged in a way the characters kind of recognize, and... I’m not sure what I’m even saying. It’s like there’s hope that this is TRYING to take the bad taste out of my mouth, but I don’t believe it overly much.

ROSE: What a relief, considering that we are both going to be young and magically fit literally forever.

Wait, so they DID find a way to extend their non-ascended friends’ lifespans to practical immortality? Jane’s Life powers? Something else?

==>

yay jade. more extended dave metaphors. calm down stomach.

JADE: i never thought id be thinking of you as my weird nerd friend by the time we were in our twenties

Heheheh.

DAVE: yeah well i never thought youd be like the premiere woo girl on the planet

Had to look up what a “woo girl” was.

Yes Jade go flirt them to death

What she’s planning isn’t a seduction. It’s a public service.

Pff

(And yeah, she’s being pushy but at least she doesn’t go DIRK FAR about it.)

DAVE: its incredible hes driven at least ten people off the site by creating thinly veiled parody accounts of their usernames

Oh my gosh, Karkat’s good enough to ANDREW HUSSIE them?!??? :D

That’s incredible.

Karkat knows damned well what a husband is. He’s been force-fed enough bad movies from Dave to pick up any human euphemism you could name. He still plays dumb sometimes, for comedic effect, to irritate his friends, or simply to avoid a topic of conversation altogether.

Yeah, it was always pretty clear that about HALF of the trolls pretended not to understand something human that they knew about just for comedic effect and they knew it. :)

It would be pretty easy to mistake his reaction for arousal, so it’s understandable that Jade is extremely surprised when Karkat snaps his jaw shut and chomps down on her hand.

PFFFFHahahahah :D

And yep, Jane cancelled her run at Dirk’s direction.

DAVE: lets all just thank whichever christ was responsible for making whatever decision resulted in her deciding not to do that

*nod nod*

JADE: well i hope she gets a better hobby JADE: there are a lot of less ominous things she could do with her time KARKAT: WHAT, LIKE FUCKING HER WAY THROUGH HALF THE POPULATION OF EARTH C?

Jade pinches his ear and twists hard, smiling pleasantly.

JADE: get fucked karkat

Yeah, this is about the level of violence/threat I’d expect from Jade when anyone slut-shames her for perfectly acceptable behavior.

==>

There is almost no crime on Earth C, and so almost no one locks their door.

Huh. I guess post-scarcity might do that.

Alright, we get to see Jane being less of a fuckass.

Dirk was the one person on Earth C who took the state of the locksmith industry with the seriousness it deserved.

Pffff

JAKE: Thats my theory at least. Maybe its tommyrot but i have faith that dirk will be back. After all where is he going to go?

Good question that wasn’t answered in Meat, so of course Jake says it here obliviously.

JAKE: I must admit i am rather half rats at the moment. JANE: You’re what? JAKE: Haha sorry that was a pretty obtuse way of putting it wasnt it. JAKE: What i mean to say is that ive been powdering my hair quite a bit today.

Andrew is SO good at making Jake sound completely incomprehensible.

...Ouch, Jane, don’t drink so hard! D:

The “morbs”??

JAKE: Dirk has that manner about him does he not? JAKE: A way about him that makes you feel like whatever you do as long as it does not involve him it doesnt count for dick.

Yeah, fuck Dirk.

Hm... is the absence of relevance affecting them, or some other manipulation? It’s not just the LACK of Dirk’s manipulation.

JAKE: Except of course for that time when you were under mind control and had me trussed up in your lair as you pontificated villainously about using me as a breeding stud to create a blood lineage for your incumbent corporate space empire.

A fate Dirk seems to agree with, judging by Meat. Let’s sidestep that fucking entirely, thank you.

...yeah, I didn’t expect Jake’s response to be any less oblivious than exactly that.

==>

So why DID Callie bring Gamzee back, anyway? Is there some secret use for him in mind? Was she manipulated into it? Maybe BY Gamzee? Hm.

...alright, priestly with followings. That ain’t good. Is he aiming for Clown President MK2?

Everything Callie and Roxy have done and said in this Candy section so far seems creepily contrived, possibly by design.

...okay did they have some kind of weird agreement? Like, “okay John is gonna make his choice, and if he chooses to stay i try dating him instead of you, Callie”??? That’s... no that can’t be it. Roxy’s NEVER acted THIS oblivious before. What’s she playing at?

GAMZEE: mY fUcKiN *gUy*. :o) JOHN: ... GAMZEE: My DuDe AnD mY nInJa AlIkE. GAMZEE: mY *hOrN* dOoOoG. JOHN: ... GAMZEE: mY hOrN tO tHa MoThErFuCkIn DoG. ;o) JOHN: waiter! help!

I’m imagining Gamzee now as a sweaty and homeless, unkempt Guy Fieri.

Yeah, this doesn’t look like it’ll be fun.

==>

...Swifer Eggmop. ¬_¬”

There’s a third member of their social group who definitely hasn’t arrived at the conclusion that his power and influence should be meted out responsibly either. Neither of them speak his name, however. For some reason, it feels like a shadow passing over the sun. A brief spike of pain flickers through Rose’s head, a bolt that strikes between her eyes and splinters out. There is color and light behind it. A vision that tears through the material reality in front of her and gives her a brief glimpse into a parallel reality where things are very different.

Yeah, fuck Dirk.

...Pff. Yeah, Rose WOULD mimic the record-scratch gesture.

Don’t invoke “never seeing Vriska again” like that, you’re really tempting fate.

Heh, Rose is finding some Light in the darkness, wanting to do something that’s meaningful on an expressive level with this Vriskgrub business.

Hm... why is my stomach a little less uneasy?

I sure hope it stays that way.

==>

KARKAT: OH MY GOD, ARE THE MECHANICAL GLUTES ON THAT BILLBOARD ACTUALLY PADDED WITH PLUSH TO MAKE THEM MORE LIFELIKE?

Heck Yes

...Yes, touch the butt, Karkat.

Jade, pouting a bit, glides in between them and uses her Space powers to teleport Dave’s phone out from the center of his traumatized palm and into the pocket of her sweater.

Hm! So she still has teleportation abilities over a limited range even without her Green Sun boost, that’s nice. :D

After all, where would these two pitiful beta boys be without her?

Oh my fucking god stop being Dirk, Jade. And never use that narrative language again, even in your head. Heck, even if Dirk’s the one WRITING this still, don’t even think CLOSE enough to think those words.

...yeah this sounds like an Active player class taking things slightly too far.

Thank you, Karkat, for drawing the consent-line in the sand. Looks like Jade’s backing off a little.

--hold on, wait, Dave kissed him? He did, so why is-- let me read back up--

Dave doesn’t answer. She answers for him by leaning down and planting a dry, affectionate kiss on Karkat’s cheek.

Okay I misread this line earlier. Jade kissed Karkat when neither of them were looking and is BLAMING Dave. Hmm.

Alright, Dave ollies outie. Karkat tumbles down some hillstairs.

Jade could probably catch him. Actually, she could easily do it, but it doesn’t seem like the kind of favor you should do in a fledgling kismesissitude.

Thaaaat’s a little presumptuous??

JADE: well i guess im eating grub spaghetti alone JADE: *again*!!!

I’d be sadder if you didn’t bring it down hard upon yourself but

==>

Yeah, John, better clear up this Callie business because it’s muddy as heck why Roxy would just drop everything to try things out with you.

Ah, we’re bringing up the gender identity thing on this side too, hm?

More serious talk, this is good, reading reading...

The glasses clink together clumsily, and water gets all over the complimentary breadsticks.

Oh no. This had better not be Olive Garden.

ROXY: no one else has ever made me feel like this

--not Calliope???

What the heck is even going on.

Dave’s coming for some bro help it looks like.

==>

It’s hilarious how much Dave is freaking out about this, and how completely in-character it is.

JOHN: holy fucking shit. JOHN: there’s a gay snooze button? DAVE: yeah man theres a gay snooze button JOHN: wow.

I love these two’s conversations

......wait, Dave’s been holding off on kissing Karkat because of what he thinks JADE might think???? D:

JOHN: i almost managed to forget that she was trying to fuck you and karkat.

Pfffffffff :D

Yep. I love it being put so bluntly.

Reading on... yeah, for some reason I also always figured that the end result of a nice three-way relationship between those three people would be Jade and Dave essentially both just glomming onto Karkat more than each other? Hm.

JOHN: i mean... it doesn’t sound... JOHN: *canon*?

...I hope you’re just talking about his coin flip explanation and not DaveKatJade. >:(

John wonders when talking to Dirk has fixed anything for anyone.

Nod nod.

She grins up at John with shimmering, adoring eyes. They’re reflecting every star in the sky, all for him.

Seriously, what the hell. Is Roxy hypnotized? Putting on an act? A voidy act??

I’m not doubting that Roxy COULD feel that way about John, I’m doubting the suddenness and the way Calliope is being deliberately ignored in the situation, which is so goddamn obvious that JOHN is uncomfortable about it. There’s something seriously strange going on.

It itches at the back of his head, the idea that he might have just fucked up Dave’s entire life.

Alright next post after a bit of breakfast.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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smolbeandrabbles · 5 years

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Science & Faith Pt.2 - Talos/Keller (Captain Marvel: AU)

Part 1

Authors Note: I could have left it as just the first part. If I’m honest I would have. But I wanted a definitive ending. There are three distinct pieces. This is only the second.

Disclaimer: I basically nicked the entire Pegasus hangar thing*, switched it to a S.H.I.E.L.D hangar and went - yeah that makes sense for this part. So #Context for where they are and what is happening. Only, obviously we’re following S&F universe here...

*Note: I wrote some of this, again, before watching the movie.

Keller is the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D according to the Wiki... Director!? Gosh darn that gives me a lot of feels... Anyway, that means we’re obviously incorporating this fact...

Premise: Discoveries are made. Hearts are broken. This love will never be the same...

Word Count: 2317

Warnings: Oh. Look. I wrote Angst again.

Alternate Universe Used. NOT READER INSERT.

Well you really did it this time. Everyone watched as you took the stars right out of my sky The light out of my eyes I’m broken embarrassed… I know there’s nowhere I can go All I know is that I need Space

If it takes a rocket, Ok. Somewhere more than a planet away… Put a light year between me and you - How does he sleep at night? Momma, the nerve of this guy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for falling so hard Momma, can you die from a broken heart?

--- "What is a joyride?" "Aha...!" He laughed, wondering exactly how to explain that, she was paying too much attention to lyrics on the radio in the car these days. And Talos didn't know everything, much as he tried; "It's like... Going very fast in a car. Like you would take a car for a joy ride..." used in its proper terms anyhow… Not in the context of THIS song though. He found himself turning the radio down before she figured that one out. She tilted her head, like she wouldn't call this drive a joyride, he drove far too carefully. "Why would you want to do it in the car if you had a ship?" then she smirked "Oh yeah. You don't have a ship." "No. But you do." Her eyes suddenly lit up, like he had made a suggestion... That he didn't actually mean to make "Can we!?" "Can we what?" "Take it out?" "Don't see why not... It’s in a hangar not too far from here..." As director of S.H.I.E.L.D Jonathan Keller could do whatever he damn well wanted – meaning Talos could do whatever he damn well wanted. She grinned "So… I get to take you on a joyride?" He shook his head, looking across to her with a smile; "Maliyah every minute with you is a joyride..." * He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he watched her run towards the blue and yellow star-shaped ship. It was mostly intact, despite the crash – every so often there was a score across the metal, but, clearly the Xandarian’s knew what they were doing whilst constructing it… She danced around it for a minute… Her skin lighting up in warm, happier tones, as if he didn’t know that already. She turned back to him as he made his way slowly over, content to watch her a little longer. Talos adored her. For every life he’d lived – and as a shapeshifter he’d lived many – he’d never encountered another quite like her. “Hurry up!” She called him, turning back to her ship “…I think my engines could be out… But it’s certainly nothing we can’t fix.” He also couldn’t help the way she made him laugh again; “You can’t fix.” She ran back; rounding him and nudging his back, forcing him to walk faster – “I’ve seen your schematics! You know how to fix a ship like this!” This time it was his turn to learn. What he was learning he didn’t really know; because Talos spent his time studying her. Not what she was doing. The intensity and passion with which she talked about the ship – and which wires went where to spark this and start up that… It was all lost on him. But he nodded where appropriate and gave her smiles of encouragement. And every so often asked a question of her where she wanted him to – even though he wasn’t sure exactly what he was saying. It made her happy; and all he ever wanted was to see her happy. His pager had beeped more than once; each time she asked if he needed to check it. Each time he’d silenced it with a ‘No’ and focused back on her. This time she stopped working and turned to him; “Someone really wants to contact you.” “It can wait…” “…Jonathan… You should get it…” He only checked because of the insistence on her face; and immediately wished he hadn’t. She watched his face fall and the way his eyebrows furrowed. It was important. Her heart sank; that meant he had to leave… “…What?” He looked to her, hesitation in those beautiful blue eyes; “…I…” “Do you need to leave…?” “…No…” He checked it again and his voice held the significance of something she could never understand; “…It’s here.” She looked confused “It? What?” He shook his head, because to her it didn’t matter. It couldn’t matter. “…I just… give me a few minutes…” “…You don’t want me to come?” “NO… No Maliyah… Continue doing what you’re doing… I’ll be back I promise…!” He gave a smile; “This won’t take long…” She gave a nod as he began to walk away… Then he paused… Turning back, Talos gathered her in his arms. If it was urgent, the minute he spent staring into her eyes without a word was wasting precious time… Still in silence he placed his forehead gently against hers and closed his eyes, prompting her to do the same. Once again Keller’s colours reflected back to him from her skin… and he took her hands in his. He made a sound, insignificant if she missed it… But she didn’t… Akin to an Earth cat. He pulled away from her, still staring into her eyes, and bit his lips together; she knew right then what he was saying, without him even having to say it; I love you… * Maliyah winced at the sudden pain in her chest... What?! She looked down as it began to course over her abdomen. Then her eyes widened; red streams of light pulsed from the middle - lightly at first, but she cried out in pain as they became angrier. Jonathan was in trouble. A lot of trouble. Taking a hit this painful? For a human?! She took a few steps away from her ship half in panic, adrenaline already rushing through her veins at her species’ instinct to rescue her lover. He needed her - now.

Multiple shots rang out from the hangar above hers, almost making her jump in the relative silence, her eyes flicked to the ceiling. Guns. So much for him wearing it as a precaution only. God... Keller... please be Ok! She was still cautious as she approached the hangar as quickly as possible. Every fiber in her body was telling her to move quickly... But, even she wasn't sure how much of Earth's weaponry she could take on at once...

She heard shouting and footsteps bouncing down the hangar as people approached, and hung back. Her chest still smarted making her place a hand against it to somehow calm herself down, and his signature was here somewhere. She pressed herself further into the wall and tried to ignore the urgency... Jonathan just hold on... They passed as a large group and all looking like S.H.I.E.L.D agents. They were supposed to be his kind – but he had warned Maliyah they wouldn’t understand what she was. She was curious, but no less fearful; why did it not surprise her that humans would turn on one of their own...

Now the majority had gone she sprinted across the landing strip to the strength of his signal, calling his name more than once. But as she neared him she went from panicked to horrified... Maliyah stopped. The colours flowing on her skin ceased. Her blood began to run cold and an involuntary shiver ran over her body that made her feel sick. It wasn’t even that he was standing there. It was that he wasn’t even bleeding...At the sound of footsteps behind him Talos turned away from watching the ship take off, forming fast calculations in his head as to where it could be going. The information he so desperately needed now inboard. Of course, he wished he hadn't.

Maliyah was about 10 good paces from him. The red colouration of her light now dissipating over her chest, signalling to her that he had been hurt, the very reason she was standing here. Only he was, for a human, miraculously intact. And he was dismayed to realise very quickly that that was no good thing. There was no coming back from this. A pain like that would leave Keller as a human broken... At least heavily bleeding. And Talos was doing just fine. And the look in her eyes - which wouldn't leave his - of betrayal. They became watery, the purple-blue lightening by several shades, and he knew that not only was she about to cry. But by her stance, and her choice of weaponry, he was now in trouble. She didn't even give him time to explain himself. He'd just told her he loved her. Now he was standing here, by his presence alone, letting her know plain and simple - Jonathan was a lie. The Yaka arrow danced in the air, hovering just in front of Maliyah above her left shoulder. She wouldn't even need to move to kill him and he knew that. Her eyes were brimming with tears; it was everything he had always feared but it was so much worse. Every so often flashes of orange would flicker through her and pulse across the arrow. He’d known that whatever she had with Yondu was more than just a disagreement…. That didn’t stop him from being insanely jealous every moment he saw it happen.

"Don't you dare take another step!! Don't come ANYWHERE near me!!" She knew how much she had told him; about both a powerful dying race AND Xandar. Whatever he was, Maliyah knew this, if he wasn’t human he knew her universe. He could travel through her universe. And do God knows what damage with all the information she had imparted to him. That made her instantly more terrified of him than she should be. And it showed on her face. "Maliyah... Just let me..." Talos took a step forward, making the arrow glow ominously. He hesitated, swallowing. She looked angry. "WHAT ARE YOU!?!" She shook her head "Who Are You!?!" Tears blurred her vision and she was only glad because she couldn't see him clearly. He wasn't real. He had deceived her all this time. Jonathan Keller wasn't human. HELL, for lying to her for so long he was barely a man... "Maliyah please... You don't have to do this... It doesn't have to be this way..." He was reluctant, at the look in her eyes, to tell her what she so badly wanted to know. But the illusion of Jonathan was well and truly shattered. He only hoped that staying in this form would make it so much harder for her to walk away from him. Tears poured from her eyes like rain, and neither of them could stop the downpour; "I trusted you!!!" It was the first time ever he had wanted the ground to swallow him. It was the first time in any form he'd ever felt anything like this. "WHAT ARE YOU!?" she screamed it this time. "... Jonathan... I LOVED you...! Is that - is that even your name!? TELL ME!!" He couldn't take that. Loved, in the past tense. Suddenly he realised just how human he was, the blue eyes he fashioned himself with blurred as if he wasn't wearing glasses... But not for that reason. "Maliyah... Please... Hear me out..." She took a couple of steps back as he reached for her, shaking her head - she looked completely broken. She was. And she could see he was starting to break too. "You're breaking my heart." She said it so concrete. So final. "So let me fix this!" Because he wanted nothing more than that. "You can't." Her voice broke, and more tears spilled - her skin lighting up in a multitude of blues... It hurt even more that he now had a feeling he'd never see her display Keller’s colours again... She took a few steps back, still crying. "Maliyah... Please you can't..." She shook her head "Stop it! Stop it! Stop talking!" She couldn't take it. Everything about her hurt; this was a different kind of heartbreak, because it wasn't even Jonathan breaking it. She didn't even know who was breaking it. It was now or never. He decided. He could walk over, take her in his arms and apologise and try to explain and hope against hope she would listen, and understand and stay... That was a mistake. He took three steps forward and she screamed "NO!" the Yaka arrow responded and shot at him, and for once Talos was glad he wasn't human as his reflexes would have had no way of saving him. The arrow hit the metal plating of the hangar and sparked instead, coming at him twice more before it streaked away in a purple flash of light. Following it with his eyes, he realised she'd also gone.

"No... No, no, no...!" He took off running as fast as he could, knowing exactly where she was heading. He'd brought her here to see her ship. Because she was going to show "Keller" how it worked... Talos didn't know a lot about the Nova Corp ships either, and the star shape seemed inconvenient and not in the least bit aerodynamic. No amount of study could ever compare to someone piloting the thing, after all. The hangar was directly below the one he was in and when he found nearly every door barring his way locked, on strength alone he was also grateful he wasn't human. She was quick. Too quick. And he damned himself for not being quicker. "MALIYAH!!! WAIT!!!" In vain, though, as the engines of her ship had flickered into life. It didn't stop him sprinting for it "You can't leave!!! Stop!! Let me explain... I want to explain..!!" The starship left the hangar. And he watched. Heart breaking as it didn't just leave the USA, it left the atmosphere, and then it left orbit. He was breathless and in tears... Placing his hands on his knees, the echoes of his breathing bounced off the now empty structure. That was twice in the space of minutes he'd watched two ships with everything he cared about leave... He wiped his eyes and stared back into the sky; the wake of her ship streaking the sky like the shooting star she was.

She'd left and she didn't even know who he was. Hell, now he felt like he didn't either... @my-world-of-imagines @morganadarkladyofall Question; is it more cliche that she doesn’t accept who he is? Or would it be more cliche if she did?

#Talos x OC #Talos #Keller #Captain Marvel #Ben Mendelsohn #Keller x OC #MCU AU #Linzi Writes #Linzi Queues Things #Linzis Mendelweek #God the queue better WORK tonight!#Maliyah #Science & Faith #11

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makeste · 5 years

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What do you think off sir nighteyes attitude about deku and his overall problems about the future?

oh god. oh jesus.

so just an FYI, I wrote out most of this post before I read chapters 155-161. so when I came back after reading those chapters, I was prepared to do some editing, but it turns out I didn’t have to change much at all. reason being that I was already pretty sure beforehand that Nighteye was gonna kick the bucket, so I was basically already coming from that perspective. so anyway, there’s only one ETA that I’ve added to this, and it’s at the very end.

this is also 1200 words long so it’s going under a cut lol.

okay, so first of all, this is something I already brought up in the recap for 128, but basically, every single one of Deku’s mentors has initially dismissed him, and that includes All Might himself. Aizawa and Gran Torino, as well. so Nighteye is just following the established pattern by this point. nothing we haven’t seen before.

he’s wrong, obviously! but we have the advantage of knowing that Deku is the main character, in addition to having the assurance of Deku himself that “this is the story of how I became a great hero.” so we know from the start that it’s all gonna work out somehow. he’s gonna get there someday. he’s gonna be all right.

but Nighteye doesn’t have that same reassurance. Nighteye in fact has the very furthest thing from it, and I don’t at all blame him for it. I’m not sure what the general fandom opinion is on Nighteye, but I love him a lot and to me he’s a very tragic figure. he has such a powerful quirk, but he ended up traumatized by it and by this point it’s arguably more of a curse to him than a blessing. to be able to see the future, but never to change it? that’s horrifying. all of the hero characters we’ve seen have one thing in common, and that’s that they all want to change the future. they want to save people from the bad outcomes and bring about the good. they want to beat the odds and win the day. they want to shape their own destinies. being a hero is all about trying to change the world for the better, after all.

so to have the ability to see what will happen, and then to not be able to do anything about it – that’s basically torture for a hero. it would drive most people insane. you know something bad is going to happen and yet you can’t stop it. even when you try to change the outcome, it still inevitably plays out exactly like you saw it. that is literally the plot of a horror movie. pretty sure that’s the exact premise of the entire Final Destination franchise.

everything Nighteye has ever predicted has come true. that’s the background he’s coming from. he’s basically powerless.

and then he has the vision of All Might dying. All Might, whom he idolizes the same way Deku does, dying a horrible death “too gruesome to describe.”

and it fucks him up. of course it fucks him up. I’ll admit, I found Nighteye’s attitude to be pretty damn arrogant at first, and I didn’t understand why he was being such a stubborn prick. but in actuality, it’s the opposite of arrogance. he’s paranoid and cautious to a fault. he’s obsessed with preparation and making sure every possibility is accounted for. he has absolutely no faith in his own ability to stop the inevitable. he’s scared. the only arrogance present is the arrogance of believing that the future he saw is accurate. and frankly, he has no reason not to believe that. he doesn’t want to believe it – he’s fighting with everything he has to stop it from happening –but he’s never not been right. so yeah, I’d be pretty scared too.

All Might basically just plucked a random kid off the street and gave him OFA. Deku absolutely is worthy of it, but I understand Nighteye’s reservations. Deku means starting from square one. he’s never had a quirk before, he’s only 14 years old when All Might makes the decision, and they’re working against the clock. it makes no sense. U.A. is full of good kids with good hearts and powerful quirks. any number of them would likely be more qualified than Deku for taking on that mantle instead.

but the thing is, All Might doesn’t base his decision on who is the most worthy. he decides it simply because Deku is worthy, and All Might wants to give him a chance. to him, it’s not about picking the perfect candidate. it’s very much the same criteria that Dr. Erskine uses in the first Captain America movie. “not a perfect soldier, but a good man.” to him, that’s enough. the rest of it will come with time.

but Nighteye doesn’t believe they have time. he’s desperate. the clock is ticking, and he’s done a hell of a job rearing Toogata Mirio into an amazing candidate. he’s strong, good-hearted, and every inch a hero. he’s absolutely worthy of receiving One for All, and I totally get why Nighteye is so insistent that it should go to him. he’s not wrong. Mirio is deserving. it’s just that, so is Deku.

and that’s where his and All Might’s views diverge. All Might, at the time of choosing Deku, had already come to terms with his own death. Nighteye very much has not. and if there’s even the slightest chance he can change that future by raising Mirio – who is strong and capable and nigh-invincible with his quirk – up as the new Symbol of Peace, then he is going to do his very best not to fuck that up, regardless of what All Might thinks.

so anyways, this turned into a very long rant which probably didn’t answer your question very well in the end. but basically I totally get where Nighteye is coming from, and if I didn’t already have the knowledge that Deku was going to be The Best, I’d probably be on his side of things in all honesty. I love that All Might gave Deku a chance, and it turned out to be the right call. but I also love that we get to see a could-have-been version of things in this arc, and that there was more than one way it could have gone, and more than one child who could have ended up receiving that power in the end.

(and just to add as an ETA: Nighteye also grew to love and care for Mirio just like All Might cares for Deku. so there’s also that. he loves him and he knows how hard he’s worked and how far he’s come, and so of course he wants the best for him. he sees so much potential in him and takes so much pride in watching him grow into a great hero. so yeah, he’s gonna be biased. it’s only natural. and he picked a hell of a kid to be biased for, at that.)

tl;dr Nighteye is sad and scared and trying and Deserved Better, and the last few chapters of this arc made me very, very upset and hurt a whole hell of a lot. shit. was. rough.

#bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #sir nighteye #all might #midoriya izuku #toogata mirio #essay #character rant #nighteye needs hugs #and aus where he survives and everything is okay and everyone lives happily ever after #goddammit #bnha meta

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ladyjenise · 5 years

Text

I wanna talk about the new star wars clips but without spoiling stuff for people

So I put it behind the cut...

Ok, now that you’re still with me, a lot of people are talking about the clips (shown at D23 on the weekend to attendees of a specific panel and then some of them this morning on GMA) and trying to analyze (as you do) what’s going on.

Based on these clips and the teaser from back... whenever we saw it (June?), I’m focusing mainly on what’s going on with Rey, which I think is what most people are doing.

I don’t think showing a dark Rey (darth rey?) is the big reveal so much as they want us to wonder how the hell she gets that way. People appear to be in two camps: it’s actually Rey having fallen to the dark side, or it’s from a vision. I’m in the former camp and I’ll tell ya why. But first, why I don’t think it’s a vision:

I mean, not to knock people who do think it’s a vision. Perfectly cromulent explanation, really. It’s just that people think Rey can’t fall and come back in one movie and I’m kinda like eh about that since we’ve only really seen one person fall in a movie series and that was Anakin and he’s... special. I mean, so is Rey, but Anakin had a very specific path. It’s sorta like Rey’s but not the same. That and in Knights of the Old Republic it doesn’t take Bastila years to fall. Her fall is like, what, days? But the puzzle pieces were there for Bastila, just like they are for Rey. Anyway, I don’t want to trash on why I DON’T think it’s a vision. I’d rather discuss why I think it’s gonna happen in real time:

1.) Rey is a fucking ball of anger. I don’t like having to use the novelizations for support but I will - In the Last Jedi novelization, we get opinions of Rey from a few sources: Snoke, Luke, and the fish nuns. The fish nuns mostly think Rey is rude and destructive, Luke can’t believe how quickly she goes to the dark side, and Snoke recognizes that not only is she insanely powerful and possess a “towering will”, but that she’s filled with hatred (for him, to be fair, but still).

2.) Rey is actually impatient. I know Rey likes to play up how patient she is, having waited for her family all that time, but there are other cases where she’s quite impatient. She gives up on Luke fairly quickly, rushes to see Kylo after one vision she misinterprets, bosses Finn around when he can’t correctly identify what are really specialty pieces of equipment. In the book Before the Awakening, Rey gets quickly irritated by the mere presence of other people helping her to repair her ship (to be fair they did later take it, but only because they wanted to leave Jakku sooooo...) The only people Rey seems to have infinite time for are her parents, and that’s because it’s her desperate need to have them with her and give her what she craves: love and affection. And the dark side is a quicker way to gain what we want, as yoda warns.

3.) Rey’s looking for parents/father figures. We know this because Kylo tells us so (and Rey). She doesn’t like to be told this, but it’s true. She imprinted on Han right away, and tried to with Luke. And before you go “why would she imprint on Palpatine???”, and I’ll say that Palpatine would probably appear to her in a way that she’d not immediately find threatening, perhaps. I mean, if he shows up looking like good ol’ Sheev Palpatine, senator from Naboo, that guy was the epitome of try-hard father figure. He’s also got a lot of experience on his resume for it thanks to his time with Maul and Anakin. He loves finding orphans and offering them all kinds of good shit.

4.) Rey’s been hearing voices telling her to burn things. I mean, not really, but she has heard voices in her head telling her shit, like to kill Kylo, etc. And this is usually when she’s tapping into her angry Rey dark side shit and going all Darth Maul on someone. She also seemed really concerned when she was trying to explain this to Luke. That “something’s inside me and now it’s awake” shit is coming to full fruition.

5.) Rey has been trying to compartmentalizing her dark side shit for years. She tries to keep her emotions in check and that’s... not good. Like instead of just telling people “yeah I’m an orphan” she’s like “Oh no its cool my family loves me and just sold me to a guy in a junkyard who would sell me on again to skin traders if he got the right price”. It’s pretty fucked up. This sort of actually reminds me of loved ones who do this sometimes and it never ends well. All that stuff has to come out some time, and with Rey it’s probably going to come out all at once. Big badda boom.

So here’s what I think will happen:

1.) Rey will be in some darker place (mentally) due to her interactions with both Kylo and her Resistance family. Perhaps it will be them discovering her bond with Kylo and Kylo’s continued First Order shit that will simultaneously alienate her from both. It might happen quickly but still make sense in the movie, with time for her to fall and come back.

2.) Her fall will be accelerated by the influence of Palpatine. You better believe Rey is like catnip to a dude like that: angry orphan looking for love and acceptance? Palpatine is going to be all over that. Palpatine will probably offer to resurrect her parents or something.

3.) Rey’s two outfits we’ve seen are white and black to contrast her false “purity” to her later fall. And when I say “purity” I mean “as a hero”, not sexually. I know when her white outfit came out, people were like “why?” and some people were pointing out it’s her visually trying to turn away from her past looks, where she was more grey than anything, and presenting this purer form to the outside world. And I gotta say those interpretations were probably spot-on. Her trying TOO hard to be pure and good will probably just push her further to fall, and fall hard under the expectations. And so what’s the opposite of white? Black!

4.) Rey’s fall will be quick, but also super temporary. You don’t really need to draw this out. You just need the scenes to get to the damn point. It also helps when you frame scenes from her perspective, as we’ve seen before. There’s no set length requirement to show such things happening, only that they are coded in a way that the audience understands what happened.

5.) Rey will be OK in the end. Rey’s not going to fall and then THE END. Come on. It’s Star Wars. She’ll be fine... mostly. But yeah, she won’t STAY dark, is what I’m saying. Luke had his moments where he could have gone dark forever, but didn’t. He never fell totally, but then again his childhood wasn’t as shitty as Rey’s. Anakin’s fall took years but he was also surrounded by like, what, 10000 jedi? It wasn’t until they were distracted by the Clone Wars and the Separatists and all the other shit Palpatine was throwing at them that Anakin fell. And then it took another three movies to get him back but again that’s Anakin’s story.

6.) What about Kylo? Kylo/Ben will be the one to bring her back, but I’m not taking credit for any of that because it’s what smarter people than me have already observed. Kylo/Ben loves her a whole lot, he’s just a dipshit who doesn’t know how to express it properly. But when he does it will be at just the right time to bring her back. This is basically the plot to Knights of the Old Republic anyway, but I’ve seen it play out similarly with heroes who fall/die etc and their anti-hero/villain counterparts finally get the courage to express their love.

ACTUALLY that’s what happens in the Care Bears II movie from the 80s. Not saying you should go watch it (it’s largely kinda boring but has some nice songs and moments) but if you do you’ll see a lot of similar themes. And what does this random animated movie from the 80s have to do with Star Wars? It was animated by Nelvana, who actually worked on Star Wars cartoons around the same time because George Lucas admired the studio and their stories. So, there ya go: Six degrees of Care Bears.

Anyway, the movie looks great. Can’t wait to see what actually happens!

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not-a-statement · 5 years

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Chasing ghosts. Chapter 3

Sorry friends for overdosing your dashboards with this stuff, but I’m too excited to hold it back anymore.

This chapter really did kill me while writing. I somehow tried to reflect my own feelings in it as well as to put observation of my friend who has currently lived through a very messy situation.

Anyway, chapter under the cut, critics and suggestions are always appreciated.

Welp, it’s time to go to dead.

New York, NY, October 7-11, 2024

Nights seemed to be the hardest to live through. Not literally - in a physical way - but maybe a little bit in that way too. Just a bit…

Every morning he felt numb. No such things as work, clothes or breakfast were present in his area of interest. And it seemed that those things were long gone for a while then. Only his memories, smells from the past and lingering sensations of light touches that were unlikely to happen again were orbiting him every day from the moment of awakening…

Unlikely to happen again? Light touches? Ding-fucking-Dong, you bloody idiot. Stop thinking of it like you’ve been married for a lifetime and then your wife moved to her gram-gram’s place at the “Fluffy Clouds Acres”...

Yeah, you have other suggestions about how to live on with a giant hole instead of heart?..

He wanted to feel himself a victim. Longed for sympathizers of all kinds queuing up to his bed, big baskets full with fruits in their hands, “Get well soon” cards, soothing phrases on their tongues - that he was every right to feel what he felt, that he deserved her and she made a very big mistake picking that bastard to be her husband…

You know what would be more honest? If somebody brought you some poison instead.

Or at least whiskey…

Would you knock it off already? Where’s your smart part when it comes to distinguishing seeds from chaff? Do you honestly think that all your feelings are of a value? Don’t be ridiculous - your own sister? For real? You actually expected everything to work out?

Shut up…

It was Monday morning, Dipper had to get prepared to leave for work - he’s finally got a position. Kind of. Same duties, another ton or two plus to his salary - at least it was something, right? At least an excuse not to spend all of his time in this god forsaken flat all day long.

But he was still laying in his sister’s bed, inhaling her scent that somehow managed to stay in the pillow. What a pathetic view it was…

Not as pathetic as his kitchen exterior though. The day prior - as for all other days - there was loads of booze and Dipper was too lazy to bother himself with throwing out the garbage so there was lots of empty bottles laying and standing here and there, empty cigarettes packs, Chinese food boxes - a perfect decorations for a hopeless bachelor’s place.

Sloppily cooked breakfast, coffee as dark as New York’s midnight sky - state’s one. The city itself was living 24 hours so the illumination was enough to make a barrier between nighttime dreamers and traces of light casted by long gone celestial giants billions of human lives away from our sinful rotten asteroid.

Perhaps it was the other way around in New City. Probably the view was breathtaking with all the stars in the sky to count, crispy countryside air to bath in…

Warm and gentle hand of beloved woman to squeeze, cascades of her hazel hair to admire and fiddle with…

Dipper stumbled upon the battalion of empty bottles causing some of them fall clinking resentfully. The sound was enough to make his head ache and cast a grimace of displeasure on his face.

So that’s the plan, huh? Drink until you find a ball of snot instead of your liver?

Pffft...as if

Oh, I get it. Not your problem, right? It’s ten-years-later-Dipper’s problem…

He had to take control over the situation - find a better job, start doing some kind of sport to get fit, maybe find a woman. Anything that will help him get over his misery and make this voice nagging at the back of his mind go…

That’s a great plan - so many details. Hey, why don’t you get a job in NASA? With your ability to make plans like that we will land on Mars twenty years earlier than estimated.

Or at least by then he had a simpler task to tackle - get dressed and step out of this flat to start a new day that’s unlikely to be any different from the day before. Only task he could possibly do without failing.

As for making detailed plans - that’s an important concept, Dipper had to admit. All this abstract thoughts and ideas about new job and sport - they’re important nevertheless. But if one just postulates such things they’re unable to lead anywhere. Dipper as one who used to be the master of bajillion steps checklists for any occasion - to win Wendy’s heart for example - knew for sure that if he wanted to make any progress he needed to think and plan deeper than that.

What Mabel used to tease him about pretty often was a very useful ability. Staying organized, understanding each step and possible alternative breakpoints and handling possible exceptions. For an average person this way of thinking could play good if they keep it in balance with other aspects of their life. But Dipper was no average person.

He was...Dipper. And that meant that balance was off the table.

Good or bad, Dipper and Mabel complemented each other in so many things that one of them wasn’t whole without the other. And that same balance in Dipper’s vigorous activity of his brain was introduced by his sister, with her emphasis on feelings, emotions, and her own particular angle of view.

But when he found himself alone he started to crumble. His brain was acting like a locomotive rushing at maximum speed risking to go off the rail at any moment. Nerves gone acute and at the same time emotions gone blank.

He tried - God knows he did - to live on his own, to give way to his emotions, tried to find that different point of view, based on feelings, yet to no big avail. Every attempt ended at the start point, all theories were in contradiction with one another and ended up crumbled.

The only thing that helped in letting all go was alcohol.

Only having drunk a glass or two of bourbon he used to start looking at all what was happening differently. After half of bottle he used to start feeling.

He was feeling pure pain caused by disappearance of his most beloved person, his second half from his life. Of the girl, who somehow managed to make him falling for her so hard casting thousands of butterflies in his stomach, sending shivers down his spine when she laughed and making him completely numb when she cried. Mabel Pines, that one and only girl in the world for whom he was ready to jump off the cliff on a gigantic robot with nothing but his bare hands, for whom he was ready to endure any level of his own pain just to keep her safe and protect her. He’s never loved anybody as much as he loved her. And never will.

He was feeling anger. What did this smug douchebag know about Mabel? Was it him who lived with her for the whole life? What he can possibly give her? I don’t remember him breaking through Bill’s traps to set her free from that bubble prison. Not to say he wasn’t one who crawled through SWAT squad to clear Stan’s name. Heck, I bet he couldn’t even handle gnomes - probably would shit himself and bail with his tail tucked. And is he ready to cover her with his body in case something threatening her? Is he capable of doing anything that slick faggot from Wall Street?! Who is he to separate us?!

He was feeling fear. Mabel is alone out there. Where will you be when she needs you, huh? You saw what world could have in store twelve years ago. Do you think anything changed? Do you think that Bill won’t return? Or even if he won’t who said that he’s the only one? You’ve been thinking about it for quite a while, haven’t you?

On Tuesday that fear dimmed his eyes to almost unbearable level. What’s the matter? Why your hand with a lighter clenched in it shakes so hard?

Shut up…

On Wednesday he took an illness day off. He was feeling rather bad physically but that wasn’t the matter - he was just really scared to leave his flat. For the whole day he kept wandering within it - from his sister’s bedroom to the kitchen and back - rushing constantly to his computer typing request after request or scribbling some incomprehensible gibberish in his journal - the same that Mabel gave him as a birthday present. Yet another bottle was opened not long after lunch time, because he couldn’t bear that day staying sober.

The next day - on Thursday - in the early morning he woke up at pretty much the same spot he ended falling the night prior - behind the sofa in the living room. His face felt swelling, knees and elbows were harshly scratched at various places - perhaps he would find some furniture items at same poor condition. His journal was lying on the sofa, its first dozen pages or so covered with all kind of theory snippets or logical fact chains - anything he could come up with in order to keep his brain working consistently and not having it exploded. Some of his notes made no sense at all, others reeked with insanity. He had to keep working, had to grasp that tiny bits of his mind floating on the surface of the blindingly dark ocean consisting of repelling visions, predator’s muzzles and never ending sound of some woman crying.

Also there was one more thing swirling through that ocean - a phrase carelessly spoken by Zach on Saturday.

On Friday night the week before Mabel was bombarding her brother’s phone with invitations for him to come over to Turner’s and have a dinner together. He missed her beloved brother and probably was acknowledging the fact that in such conditions a modest family dinner was the only option for them to spend some quality time together instead of nights full of movie marathons and pizza. It’s what people do, don’t they? When they become adults…

But if Mabel was feeling a bit melancholic because of that blunt bogus of an activity, it came to no comparison with what Dipper might’ve felt that exact second he appeared at Zach’s door. He either would leave within an hour tops or get drunk as swine. So it was better not to come at all to prevent such bad consequences.

But having to turn his sister down over a phone for yet another time wasn’t any less painful. Hearing her voice changing from cheerful one to upset, because of whatever excuse he could come up with - working late, having an extra task, needing to stay up until late night home because of an important article he had to finish. Or hearing her playful teasings about him having a secret date with ladies and reminders to leave a tie on the knob which would make him laugh uncontrollably adding more more pain. He couldn’t stand it. That’s why he decided to take a decisive action.

He turned off his cell phone. And spent a long time sitting on a bench near to Brooklyn bridge with a bottle of whiskey in a paper bag, staring at his device’s black lifless screen as if trying to soak its void up.

Void and darkness. What are they? The absence of life, light, benignancy. Absence of everything - only vast and pure nothingness. Why can’t I adapt it? To feel nothing, to throw this piece of plastic into the river, to come home today, grab my bag and jump on the first flight to Oregon. Cut all ties with Mabel, simply disappear from her horizon. Wouldn’t that be better?

It sure would’ve been easier.

But the only response the phone’s screen could give the reflection of the autumn afternoon sky with glimpses of upcoming dusk rather than comply with Dipper’s inner desires. So only thing he was left with was whiskey again.

Its taste was already a rock solid number one in his rating of favorite tastes. In mixture with tobacco smoke. Nevertheless that blend taken in serious doses were casting an instant portal to the morning after.

And what it had in store were regrets and sorrowful thoughts about what he’d done and what a jackass of a brother he was. So the phone was turned on, Mabel’s number typed his thumb hovering over the green button was given an order to hold it back no more.

There was a beep. And then another. And another.

After 6 beeps Dipper started having second thoughts about how 9 pm on Saturday might’ve been not the best time for late apologies but then his phone slightly buzzed and he heard someone’s deep morning breathing on the other end.

“Hi, Mabes, I...um...” he started timidly trying to soften his hoarse hang over voice “About yesterday...I’m really sorry I couldn’t call you back...my battery died and I had to stay late so I walked home and hit the hay the moment I entered...”

He let out a clumsy chuckle scratching the back of his head.

Telling lies, are we?

Shut up.

“So...yeah...I’m sorry I couldn’t make it yesterday to your place...um...maybe will try the next Friday? Mabes?”

He heard a male voice giggling through the receiver that sent cold wave to his abdomen.

“Oh, sorry, man. Didn’t want to interrupt your monologue.”

Zach. That bastard…

“Oh...hey, Zach...” he wasn’t ready to stumble upon Zach in such condition. “Um...would you mind passing phone to Mabel?”

“I wish, bro, i wish” Dipper clenched his fist hard enough to make his knuckles go white “But Mrs. Turner is still watching whatever bright and pleasant dream she’s watching”

Was that scoffing? Mrs Turner? As if he won her and now showing it off. Fuck, as if he thinks he took my wife…

Wouldn’t be much of a fallacy, huh?

I told you to shut up.

He needed to somehow play it cool. Put aside his own twisted feelings and think of what’s better for Mabel - if she found out about his hostility towards her husband and linked it with his constant denials to come for dinner that would be really bad.

“Okay, ahem...” he cleared his throat before continuing “Can you maybe ask her to call me back when she’s awake then?”

“No problem at all. But, you know, I can tell her myself...”

“No no no, better if I tell her what I wanted to tell, thanks. Um...okay, b..”

“Oh, how things are going on your side, Mason? Haven’t heard from you for ages.”

Oh, son of a...why by name?

“Good, good. Yeah, so...”

“Heard you’ve got promoted. Got a position?”

“Well...um...not exactly, but...I’m working on it. Yeah, sorry for early ca...”

“And how’s the money? Do they pay you enough?”

Oh you impudent chuffed fuck.

Tell him.

“Enough for me, thanks. Well, okay I...”

“Look, we have a vacant position at stock exchange. Consultants are paid good and respected, so I thought maybe...”

“I’m not keen on idea of selling people something I don’t personally believe in, thank you.”

Shit, that was bad. Didn’t mean to sound so harshly.

He started it.

Shut up.

He heard Zach laughing on the other end. Damn, even insults are not working for him. He’s got his walls built solid.

“Why so determined? Believe me, after first salary when you start buying yourself some big men toys like cars you won’t say such immature things.”

Yeah, yeah. Teach me how to live my life, bitch.

“Well, if I were you I would think about it, Mason. I’d take it as an honor to help my family member.”

“Yeah, okay, cool. Um...” Come on, say something polite to end this “Have a nice day, Zach.”

“No it is? Okay, whatever you say. You’re a good man but you’re sometimes being silly, Pinetree.”

Dipper’s heart skipped a beat and he felt thunderstruck. All his muscles tightened. Given he was slouching, it seemed that his body’s fulcrum had shifted slightly above the rib cage.

“What did you call me?” asked Dipper his voice hardly above whispering.

“What? Old mocking nickname? Sorry, didn’t mean to...”

“What. Did. You. Call. Me?” repeated Dipper louder.

“Oh, c’mon, man. I’m sorry, for real, I...”

Can it be?..

I can’t see why not

No, that’s impossible. No, no..

Well, he told you she was sleeping, but do you trust him?

Mabel…

“Where is she?”

“Who? Mabel? Man, I told you she is leisuring...”

“Pass her the phone”

“Look, she’s really not ready to talk to anybody right now, you how she is. Man, like for real - I’m sorry if that upsets you, it wasn’t my inten...”

“Shut the fuck up, Zach!!!” Dipper growled, he could feel himself drowning in unimaginable paralyzing horor. “Where is my sister?!”

“Hey! Watch the language, pal!”

“Where is my sister?!”

“Piss off!”

“Where is Mabel?!!” Dipper broke into shouting. His breathing was heavy and ragged, he could feel his blood rushing to his head almost setting tips of his ears on fire. His face also grew unbearably hot.

“You know the address, you mental piece of human garbage!!! Come over and see where it leads you!!!”

His mind was rushing billion miles per hour. The boiler in his locomotive of a brain was about to blow up. Blood was pounding in his ears, he could literally feel his blood vessels filling up with pure adrenaline, he tasted metal in his mouth and there was something more with that taste. It was...was it?..

Wait, what does sulfur taste like?

He wasn’t listening to Zach’s shoutings on the other end of line anymore. He was paralyzed by that unaccountable fear. He couldn’t say anything, he couldn’t move - every tiny little cell of his body wasn’t answering his commands. It was a trap, he knew that. A blurred burning trap with spurts of flame dancing before him, licking his calves sending anguishing sensations to his muscles and to his brain. There were lizard’s eyes with narrow pupils everywhere, he couldn’t see them, but he was feeling watched by them. He could feel their glares cutting him like it was a straight razor, he could feel cold fingers digging through his head, twining around his eyeballs. And there was a voice - a woman was shouting his name. It was familiar but nontheless it was demanding razor to push deeper and deeper! Cutting him in two, then in four, then…

Deeper!

“DIPPER!!!”

In a heartbeat he was back into Mabel’s room in their Brooklyn flat; her was dragged him out of that horrifying vision. He was kneeling before the bed, clenching bedcover with his right hand and his cellphone with his left. He was breathing through gritted teeth loudly and heavily.

What was real out of all that?..

The only thing - her voice. A concerned voice of Mabel still calling his name, in which he could hear that she was on the verge of breaking into tears. She was scared - perhaps he and Zach woke her up with their banter and scared her a lot. And his heavy breathing distorted by the transmitter apparently wasn’t helping at all.

Keep it together, Pines, keep it together! Shake off this nightmare and tell her that you’re safe, that you’re fine.

Are you, though?

Yes! I’m fine, I’m totally fine!

But what about B…

He’s dead!!! He’s long gone!!! Mabel’s safe, she’s not dragged away from me into another dimension! She’s here, she’s actually relatively close.

I need to catch my breath. Okay, one in and one out...here we go…

“Dipper, please! Say something! Say something to me!” he could practically see the first teardrop rolling down her tender rosy cheek. “Dipper, I’m begging you!”

“Mabes, I...” at least the voice is...yep, it’s mine “I...my battery...it died so I had to walk home and...”

“Bro-bro, what are talking about?”

“I was staying late...so s’why I couldn’t...couldn’t come to dinner...yeah...I’m sorry. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“Please tell me you’re okay, Dipper. Please tell me that.”

“Yeah, I am...Totally, Mabes, totally...”

“Are you sure?”

He gulped nervously listening to his unsteady breathing.

Telling lies again? Way to g…

“Yes, Mabel, everything’s well I swear” he tried to sound as calm as he could “I...s-sorry for waking you up.”

And he ended the call.

Splendid, my man.

Is that so hard to do? I said shut the fuck up. I need a drink.

***

On Friday he finally made it to work. Dressed in a black hoodie covered in stains of various food and sauces, worn out unwashed trousers of same color he was kind of a ghost to everyone else in the editorial office - no one would bother themselves waving him hello or even noticing him. He was sitting at his small desk in the open space surrounded by stacks of papers and office supplies. Obviously he forgot to take his laptop with him as well as his wallet. For some reason only valuable thing he had then was the most inappropriate one - his driver’s license, which was laying on the desk with his cellphone with already cracked screen.

Time was approaching lunch but food wasn’t even in top ten of his priorities. Frankly he could hardly remember when was the last time he actually consumed something apart from alcohol and cigarettes. Was it that morning? Or the morning before? And does a peanut butter and jelly toast count as food?

All that was in the background of his mind at that moment. The main screen of his mind was displaying various footage soaked with anxiety; each minute a bunch of viewers were collectively advising the main character on the white screen to take right turn or left or to head straight. And footages were constantly changing.

For the first time fear and pain started blending. Only one component was left…

“Pines!” a familiar voice called out for him. At least someone noticed his presence.

Paul Hempstead - the chief editor of essays department - was slowly approaching his desk, scanning through a stack of papers in his hands slowly.

“Good to see you again. Caught a bad cold?” he switched his attention from papers to his employee.

“My god” he gasped “What happened to your face?”

“I fell” Dipper said with colorless voice not even raising his eyes to look at editor.

“Right, you fell” as if taking a hint responded Paul “Okay, I won’t ask. I have a job for you. Are you going to lunch? I’ll explain while eating.”

“No, I’m not going” Dipper’s voice still wasn’t displaying any emotions.

Looking bewildered Paul stared at him as if thinking of whether or not he’s likely to ask any other questions about reasons. Dipper stayed motionless looking right before him into the void.

“Yeah, you’re right. Better right here” the editor fished a paper out of stack in his hands and laid it before Dipper. “A letter from a concerned mother. Her son’s getting oppressed by his scholl mates - he’s part of a certain subculture so his mother wants us to make it sound to the society. The letter is for gist, I wanted you to go there and find all the details. I assigned a photographer to them - he will be going on Monday. Your task is for today so we have our fresh essay on Tuesday. It’s in Huntington - you’ll be done in 3 or 4 hours.”

“Okay” followed a similarly lifeless answer.

Hempstead was expecting for something more verbose.

“Ho-o-ka-y” he slowly echoed stretching syllables “There are bus routes but car is easier. Works for you?”

He waved his hand at Dipper’s driving license.

“I don’t have a car”

“Oh. That’s wise, probably - such a big busy city...You can take a shared car. There’re lots of them on every corner. What do you say? Besides that way you’ll clear your evening.”

“I forgot my wallet home.”

Paul started losing hope.

“That’s a misfortune...Look, you can go to accountants and ask them for a prepayment. In fact...” He fished his wallet out of his trousers pocket and laid three 100 dollars bills before Dipper “Here, you’ll return on a payday. Just take your time to prepare, you know - go home, take a nap, change and all...”

Dipper lowered his eyes to look at the money and nodded slightly.

“Thank you Mr Hempstead” and added after second or two: “Can I go now?”

“For sure, Pines, for sure. Just don’t forget - deadline’s on Tuesday”

Not waiting for a response Paul rushed further down the aisle.

Dipper gave that money a look one more time, then grabbed it and his belongings from his desk and headed for exit.

When he was already at the door his phone buzzed. Even not looking at the screen he was already imagining her cute face, how she bit down her bottom lip waiting for him answer and twisting on of her locks.

This time he decided not to make the same mistake twice. He took his phone out of pocket, cleared his throat and tapped the green button.

***

He was standing naked and wet after taking a shower before the mirror in his bathroom examining his reflection. His cheeks started sinking, right cheekbone was bruised after he met wooden floor with it. He stopped caring about his hair long ago, there were scattered spots of messy stubble here and there. His shoulders were hunched even more than he remembered.

For the past two months Dipper got used to an idea that he wouldn’t see anything good in his reflection but every time it was really important to him to examine his appearance carefully. He still harboured some hope that eventually an alarm in his brain would break out he would start working on at least the simplest plan for recovery.

Not to say it wasn’t happening any time.

He was still feeling saturated after eating some fried eggs with bacon as soon as he came home from work. Even 6 hours of sleep he plunged into as soon as he laid down didn’t manage to drain that feeling but regained his somewhat mental and physical forces a bit.

He’s already failed Paul’s task, cause it was 9 in the evening and there’s no point to drive anywhere. That meant that he was in need to find some distraction to prevent his mind from once again spiralling down into anxiety and crimson blur.

Maybe I can use some fresh air. Like go to Central Park or cinema - anything but once again play ghost at the river’s embankment.

A vision appeared before his eyes - that one, that refused to go away for almost two months then. He was with her, hand in hand slowly moving across the park paths, he gently squeezes her hand, then lets it go only to hug her shoulders with it, she smiles, lays her head on his shoulder, their steps become slower, more relaxed…

Dipper downed a full glass of whiskey. The amber liquid started warming his chest, his stomach. It was such a false warmth that if he closed his eyes he could feel it as a light breeze, stuck between tree trunks in the heart of the park. He could feel it as her warm and gentle hands caressing his chest, so tiny and tender compared to sizes of her sweater…

Not exactly registering he downed another glass.

This is insane. You are! You can take her back, you can’t explain her anything! You can’t give her anything but your warmth!

Wouldn’t that be enough? Is there anybody who can give it to her?

No. NO!

No one can do that! No one will protect her but me!

Another glass downed.

Only I know her that much! Only I saw what this unfair world full of violences can do to her!

Another glass.

I fought demon for her! And I won! I saved my Mabel! My sweet, lovely Mabel.

Another.

What if he lives?

Impossible. He perished.

Yeah, but what if he survived?

He started drinking straight from the bottle.

What’s the matter? Are you scared? Oh, you should be. What were you thinking - you’ve jumped from that cliff once and that’s it? So you can sit around, having your time?

Shut up…

He knew there’s a car outside. And he’s got the keys. Also he knows what lies in his bottom drawer covered with kitchen blankets.

No, you shut up and listen. You abandoned her. Left her so that clown now can do whatever he wants. Do you know who he is? Have you spent a spare second studying what kind of man he is?

Shut up.

He tried to walk steadily and failed. A brass knuckles in his right pocket - a gift from Gruncle Stan - and bottle of whiskey in left hand weren’t helping in balancing at all. He got into a shared vehicle. If only he could start the engine…

Bravo! Just perfect, my boy! Guess what - you’ve got fooled! How hilarious is that?

Shut up.

He turned the engine but the impulse died instantly.

Our Big Master Dipper - a threat to all monsters and demons…

Shut up!

Another turn. And one more...Come on!

…a famous mysteries solver got fooled by some pathetic equilateral one-eyed…

SHUT UP!!!

PINETREE!!!

The engine roared coming to life. Dipper accelerated steering the car to the north-west away from the city - to a small countryside place in suburbs called New City.

#chasing ghosts #pinecest #not a statement at all

6 notes · View notes

neighbours-kid · 5 years

Text

A Very Whovian February

Here we go again, another month over already. To nobody’s surprise whatsoever, I have continued watching way too many movies and tv show episodes in February as well. There weren’t as much as in January because university started again, but there were some. It totals in at 3 movies, 1 musical, and 116 episodes of tv. I was a bit heavy on the shows this month, less so on the movies, as you can see.

February is always a….peculiar month, if you will. It’s short, it’s half holiday and half university, it’s sort of winter but not anymore, and just really weird. What was particularly strange about this month however, was that even though I sort of committed myself to binging through Money Heist once more—and managed three episodes—I quickly went back on that decision and made another, rather bigger commitment: I decided to re-watch and finally catch up on Doctor Who. No one was more surprised at this decision than me, I believe.

I used to love this show, I used to talk about little else. Doctor Who dominated big parts of my interests for a few years. Through a combination of my brother watching the show and me discovering tumblr, I started watching it in 2012. That was right at the end of ninth grade and the beginning of grammar school. I was 16. I was awful. I talked about it constantly, and especially after I “converted” a friend and she ended up watching it too, it was a constant stream of talking about Doctor Who, always, all the time, everywhere. Which I now understand is annoying as hell. However, back then? People being annoyed with it and sort of shaming me for it? That—and the show losing what made me love it mostly through Moffat taking over—made me stop watching it. At some point I just—stopped. I didn’t talk about it, didn’t think about it much anymore, unfollowed a lot of blogs on tumblr who posted about it, and turned my interests elsewhere. I abandoned it.

For a while there it was also just a thing that I didn’t wanna touch. I watched it in a part of my life where I was awful and toxic and just not a really fun human being to be around, I think. At least I don’t look back at this time all too fondly. It was just part of a person who I wasn’t anymore, who I grew out of, grew up from, and largely also moved on from. It was a strange time. But it was always sort of at the back of my mind as something that I loved, something that brought me great joy and parts of which I really missed deep down. Once I got a Netflix account and it kept appearing in my suggestions, my resolve to not go back to it started to crumble and I ultimately decided that I could learn to love this show again and maybe be better about it this time around. And I also just really wanted to give Peter and Jodie a chance, because no matter how good or bad the stories are, taking on a role like the Doctor is a feat, and I want to give them the opportunity to impress me and make me like them.

Watching that very first episode of Chris Eccleston’s arc at the beginning of this month felt very similar to when I completely re-read all of Naruto last Spring. It felt like coming home, like re-discovering a long lost love. And I am loving it. I am enjoying this tremendously. The monsters are ridiculous, the CGI is hilariously bad, the masks and make-up are insanely cool, the stories are simple and honest and lovely and I just adore it so much. Russel T. Davis was such a wonderful show runner, his vision for the show was so….lovely and simple and human. There were so many brilliant moments in the first four seasons, the companions were fascinating and conflicting and challenging and the Doctor was fantastic and brilliant. And even now that I have already binged through most of Matt’s arc as well, I still appreciate this show. The first time around, I think, I wasn’t too fond of Matt as the Doctor because I really loved David and his take on it, but this time, I am really enjoying Matt’s way of navigating that sort of dichotomy of darkness and ridiculousness that the Doctor has. Matt is fun. David is still my absolute favourite, but I am enjoying Matt tremendously as well. The CGI might have gotten better, the stories bigger and bolder, and, what I felt the first time around, maybe lost a bit of it’s simple and human aspects, but it is still a show that makes you keep thinking, what if?

If you know me you know that I often say the words “ugh I hate people”. I hold the opinion on most days that we, humans, are the worst and we’re being for the most part terrible to ourselves, our environment, and that Earth would be better off if we all just died. However, on odd days in between, I am also like insanely fascinated by humans and by what we can do and who we are and all that. Watching nearly seven seasons of Doctor Who in one month and seeing the world and humans through the Doctor’s eyes, raised those odd days in between to a level able to compete with my humans-suck days. It’s basically 50/50 now, to be honest. If you boil my entire life down to a single conflict it’s that of HUMANS SUCK WE’RE THE WORST and HUMANS MY DUDE HUMANS WE HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL. Basically. Combine this binge-watch with the Opportunity Rover dying and you have me sobbing in a corner filled with hope for humanity and the need to change the world, because we could.

Oh.

Well.

Look at that. This is supposed to be a recap slash diary entry about this month and I have already spent all this time talking about Doctor Who. Can you imagine how annoying I was when I watched it the first time? Yeeeaaaah.

Anyway.

Watching Doctor Who was not actually the only thing I did in this month. I did a lot of procrastinating on a paper about witchcraft in Dutch art which I then finally finished the day before I had to hand it in, started university back up again in the middle of it, helped some friends on their moving day, hung out with other friends, went to a birthday, and, y’know, did things human beings do.

But—and I’m going back to Doctor Who again, sort of, I am so sorry—I also read a book. And not just some book. It was Good Omens by the two amazing gentlemen Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. Watching four seasons of David Tennant being amazing on Doctor Who also made me re-discover my adoration for him. Not that I didn’t already know that, I mean I did just watch him in Broadchurch. He is just great and I love watching him in things. And then he started a podcast (David Tennant Does A Podcast With…, it’s amazing, you should all listen to it) and he’s on radio shows promoting it and he is just ever present. And there was press and information and stuff going around for the tv adaption of Good Omens in which David plays Crowley, so he was just constantly on my mind. So I said to myself, hell yes, you need to re-read Good Omens before the show comes out in May, so why not do that now. And I did. And it was fantastic. And because I am me, and I am weird, I forced myself to stretch the last 100 pages of the book over an entire week, so I could walk into every first session of classes at university reading this book (four of which being theology classes, which was very important for me to be reading this book in). I needed to mark my place as resident weirdo, because who else could it be?

So, in summary, I guess my month could also be called “David Tennant February”. I watch Doctor Who nearly every evening, listen to David’s podcast every Tuesday, think about Good Omens every day—yeah, February was very heavy on the David Tennant content. I am not complaining.

To end this on a less David Tennant-y note, and a more “these things actually happened this month” bit, February has also been a month of, I don’t know, resurrection? Is that a good word? Anyway—February has brought out (or back) more of who I truly am again. Most of it is the weather (thanks climate change, I’m sorry the planet is dying), the sun being out, the temperatures already clocking in above 10 degrees celsius. I am enjoying it tremendously. I am convinced that I might be half-plant because the sun just revitalises me so strongly. Seasonal depression just goes down the gutter once the sun is out and I can feel the warmth of Spring on my skin. I am alive. Another thing is that I stopped, just really stopped giving a shit at university about other people and what they think. I am using all the bathrooms, no matter what. I am going by Alex even in German classes. I don’t apologise for anything or justify my actions. I don’t care anymore. What I do care about, is that I finally got a date for my consultation with a psychiatrist here in the city. I am partially excited and happy about it, however I also, as soon as I opened the envelope, felt completely numb and detached because the date is in June and that’s still so far off, which I guess I knew would be the case, but having confirmation for it, was just a bit…much, I think. Knowing that my future is in the hands of other people is not a thought I like very much and having to wait for other people to have time for me in that perspective is just not a fun thing. But we’ll get there. Eventually.

I don’t know guys, this post is just full on stream of consciousness, just me blabbing on and on about things that I don’t think anybody really cares about. But like I said last time, this is supposed to be a sort of diary entry for my garbage brain to remember what I did in my life, so y’know, this is valid.

I’ll talk to y’all in a month. Be good out there, guys. Be good.

Bye.

#february #blog post #text post #diary #recap #monthly blog #doctor who #good omens #david tennant #writing #trans

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