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daz4i · 5 years

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yknow i’m gonna keep rantin abt this bc i have juice in me

i don’t think skinny people realize how much it sucks to be fat

i spoke abt fashion earlier and well. the fashion industry is rigged against us. because we’re not meant to be seen! people don’t want to remember we exist!

buying clothes is a pain! there’s literally only one chain store in my entire country that sells clothes in my size, and they’re all really fucking ugly and meant for old ladies, mostly

that’s one of the reasons i can only wear graphic tees tbh. they’re the only thing i can find (usually in special stores for that or ordered online) that can fit me, will be comfortable, and also not look too bad

hoodies and other outwear and stuff? i have to buy online, usually about a few sizes more than might fit “just in case” because here they’re just not sold in my size at all! clothes that can look good in general just don’t ever get to my size tbh, even online

yknow, even if nice clothes were sold in my size, i’d probably not wear them bc like i said - we’re not meant to be seen. i’m not meant to draw looks. dressing nicely isn’t a thing i’m supposed to to. and if i did do that, i’d get mean comment, yknow? if i went in public with an outfit that draws attention, i guarantee you i’d get nasty comments about my weight.

not that i don’t get them already even when wearing bland shit, but that’s another topic lmao.

plus sized models are almost never truly fat. they’re curvy. plus sized men models are usually a bit chubby but even then, relatively flat stomaches (in comparison to their chests for example), nothing too extreme. fat girls who upload pics of them in nice outfits and get lots of love on social media? they’re all aesthetically pleasing girls, perfect fat girls. they still have the curvy body type that people like seeing, just a bit bigger. most fat people aren’t like that. you can barely see pictures of our bodies, because no one wants to see us, and that’s why we never show it.

and as i started saying earlier - going outside in general! that’s fucking terrifying to me as a fat person! i can vividly remember more than a few times people just told me gross shit over my weight - people i didn’t know, who just decided to tell me i’m fat/i should go on a diet when they saw me in public (or at school, and no, it wasn’t another student). i can’t go outside without thinking “someone is going to laugh at me because i’m fat. someone will call me out for that. someone is going to say a nasty comment”. i can’t afford to wear eye grabbing clothes, not money wise, but emotionall - because if i get people’s attention, i’ll also get bad people’s attention. but really, i don’t even need to wear unique stuff for that - it’s enough that i just exist and fatphobes will be sure to mention how gross my body is to them, whether i asked or not (spoiler alert, i never ask).

you may say “just lose weight” but it’s not easy!!!! i’ve always been fat! and i probably always will be! it’s genes, i’m guessing. really, even when i went on diets before, even when i was watching what i eat and did sports, nothing’s changed - it’s just my body. you know, when i did lose weight - about 20kg/44 lbs - nothing changed either? i went down one pants size. i still looked p much still very fat. so even if i go to a healthy weight, there’s a very good chance i’ll still look fat. also, just to be clear, i lost that weight because i couldn’t eat for about 2 months. not a very healthy way to diet, if you ask me, and yes i already gained them all back, p quickly actually, bc i wasn’t supposed to lose that weight in the first place, bc that’s my body! that’s how it looks and that’s how it is!

honestly the whole matter of losing weight is kinda fucked up too. you hear abt celebrities mention it recently, how they managed to get thin quickly by going on extreme diets that were super unhealthy and they also had personal trainers and were actually almost always hungry. and they usually don’t even start that fat either. imagine if the average fat person could even get access and afford the whole thing these celebrities have, it’d still take us months of this hell to actually be thin, which i imagine is.... not very healthy. honestly, usually when you see people lose a lot of weight in a few months, they usually only became fat in the first place p quickly too and didn’t start out as fat. if a person who has always been fat tried it, i don’t even think it’ll work. like i said about my own weight loss: my body gained this weight back super quickly, because that’s its natural form and what it’s supposed to be. maybe with an intense and strict diet for a few years i could manage to lose this much weight again. but why would i want to? especially since i have a good feeling that if i break this diet i’ll just gain it back too. and yeah, i probably would only go down by a size or two at best.

and!!! i’m not even THAT fat!!!! when i go to that chain store i mentioned earlier, i’m actually along the lower sizes they sell! if i wear the right clothes and hold myself properly and don’t try to do things like jump or w/e, i’m still fat but it’s not a thing people really notice unless they look for it, really. i can go up in sizes when shopping in online plus size shops if i want things to fit loosely. i have it easy. THAT’S easy. i can’t even imagine what it’s like to be fatter than i am, or have less ~aesthetically pleasing~ (in the eyes of skinny people) fat destribution than i do, but i’m guessing it’s even rougher tbh.

it sucks man! it fucking sucks ass! we’re not allowed to exist! we’re not allowed to be physically seen! we’re here to be a laughing stock or to be used as a bad example or to be a villain in a kids movie, and that’s it! skinny people don’t wanna see us unless it’s in a bad context! they hate us for existing! fat = bad is such a normalized idea that even when someone points out to anyone that they gained weight, not even in a malicious way, my blood literally runs cold. scenes in movies where to show how a character is doing bad they get fat (peter b parker in spiderverse, thor in endgame are just 2 examples i have in mind rn)? that’s another way to normalize this idea. skinny people can say they don’t mind fat, that they love ~girls with a little meat on the bone~, they can go years without saying anything directly fatshaming, but they still see stuff like that - heck, even create stuff like that - and don’t realize how damaging it is and how much it makes me and probably other fat people too not want to go outside even more. fatphobia is poison you don’t even notice is in you unless you’re fat too.

#rant #fatphobia //#this is..... long #i'm angry crying yeehaw !#if you actually read the whole thing please like? i wanna know heh #anyways i hate having a physical form. how's everyone doin tonight #long post #i hope the keep reading thing works :(

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writersmacchiato · 5 years

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Sunshine | Chuck Grant

Requested by: @whatwouldidowithoutgeorgeluz

Prompt: “I thought we were friends.”

Word Count: 2k+ (not even the slightest bit sorry!)

Warnings: mentions of a stalker

———

The letter held in your hands was a simple scrap of paper, nothing interesting or special about it bar one thing. A trembling, scrawling writing with your name in bold print.

It has been placed delicately under the tucked in blanket of the cot, so rarely used but you took advantage when you could.

It was a goddamn love letter.

In the middle of a fucking war.

It was out of place, and yet it seemed like a small ray of sunlight. Bastogne darkened everyone; took something away. You did what you could for them, but physically they were mostly okay. Their wounds were internal and you didn’t have the capabilities to care for all of them.

‘Sunshine,

Your smile is radiant, brightening my day like the sun after it rains.

-Xo,

Your admirer’

You reread the words, not recognizing the handwriting and it wasn’t signed. Oddly enough, you felt slight disappointment because it certainly wasn’t from a certain staff sergeant. Although the usage of ‘sunshine’ was Grant’s thing, eyes twinkling as he called you by it, the penmanship wasn’t his and it wasn’t his style regardless. If Chuck had feelings for you, wouldn’t you know?

—

His blue eyes scan the paper, the usual lightness darkening into a storm. He peers up at you, lips turned downward.

“Sunshine?” He practically seethes. “Who is this guy? Do you know him?”

“That’s sorta the thing about anonymous love letters,” you groan. “They’re anonymous.”

He scoffs, “and what’s this shi—crap about sunshine? That’s our thing.”

It shouldn’t make your heart jump and do somersaults like it does, but the aggression behind his voice sends sparks to your stomach.

“Chuck, it’s nothing. Okay?”

“It’s creepy, is what it is.” He says, running a hand through his hair. “Just leaves it on your bed? Where you sleep? Doesn’t even sign his name, seems like an odd fellow.”

“So, you don’t think that someone could genuinely like me without being a creep?” You frown, feeling the sting of it creep up your cheeks.

“I didn’t say that.” He sighs, hands going to grab yours. “I just want you to be safe...I can’t have anything happen to you, Y/N.”

And, it’s small, a mere concern for a friend, but you squeeze his hands back to ignore the pounding of your heart.

“I will, Chuck. Promise.”

—

The slips of paper become more and more frequent; always a hurried scrawl on whatever parchment can be spared with an even more flurried message. Each one was simple and sweet;

‘Your laugh is so wonderful’

‘How do you manage to be so captivating?’

and signed with the same ‘xo, your admirer’.

Chuck always twisted his mouth when you showed him the newest one, jaw clenching as he bit down the unsavory thoughts that bubbled to the surface.

But, this one...

Your hands shake, dropping the paper to the ground as you sank to the creaking cot. Eyes wide and alert as you try to even your breathing.

You were going to be sick.

—

You see the outline of Chuck, his broad shoulders as he stands in a semi-circle with Talbert and Shifty. Tab looks past the group, smiling as you make eye contact. It melts to concern when your hand collides with Chuck’s sleeve, drawing the attention to you.

Chuck looks at you, worry evident as he takes in the fearful look of your face. He notices your other hand, clenched around another damned piece of paper. His fingers pry it open, face falling as he reads the sentence that had frightened you.

“Jesus...” he swears out other explicits, stepping away from you as he rubs his fingers over the back of his head. “When did you get this?”

“This morning.”

“Fuck...” he mutters.

Tab looks over the paper, Shifty peeking over his shoulder. They look up at you, mutual shock and horror melded on their face.

‘You look like an angel when you sleep.’

“This your admirer?” Tab scoffs in disgust.

Admirer...the word makes you cringe; thinking of all the compliments written down and based entirely on that — admiring from afar, just watching you...

“I’m scared, Chuck.” You whisper, taking steps to wrap your arms around his waist. He holds you back tight, hand cradling your head against his chest.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, sunshine.” He whispers into your hair.

“You can stay in my bed tonight.” Shifty speaks up. “It’s just us three in there.”

“Yeah, we’ll protect ya’.” Tab grins. “Ain’t no way anyone’s gonna get through all three of us.”

“I couldn’t...” You shake your head. “It’s against the rules—“

“We’ll sneak you out.” Chuck says. “And, then we go to Lip first thing tomorrow.”

“You kept the notes, right?”

“Yeah...” you sigh, wanting nothing more than to rip them to pieces and throw into a fire.

Chuck walks you back to the medical tent, arm wrapped around your shoulder. He stands with his arms folded as you carefully pack a bag, fingers shaking as you place the pile of papers on top before zipping it up.

His hand wraps around yours as you leave, giving you a gentle squeeze when you hesitate. “Come on.”

Tab and Shifty are already in their respective cots, the latter of the two still awake as he whispers a soft greeting to you.

Chuck nods to the remaining cot, setting your bag down next to it. “I’ll take the floor.”

“No, Chuckie, I will.” You protest.

He shakes his head, “listen, as much as I would love to share a bed with you...” he smirks at your shy look. “There isn’t room, sunshine.”

“I’m scared to sleep alone...” you whisper, feeling foolish because the comfort of three staff sergeants in the room should bring you some sort of peace but it does little to ease the knots of your stomach.

Chuck stares at you for a moment, face blank as he tries not to lose his temper again. You didn’t deserve this, any of it.

He huffs a sigh, snagging the extra pillow and blankets off the cot and settling them on the floor. His boots are kicked off, arms open as he waits for you to follow suit. Your crawl in after him, head resting over his heart. The slow, rhythmic lull has your eyes drifting close as sleep finds its way easily for once.

—

Sunlight flickers over your face, waking you from the depths of sleep. Blinking awake you find yourself nose to nose with Chuck, his arm settled around your waist. The sun makes his hair look light, a bronze gold, that has you running your fingers through it without a second thought. His eyes flicker open at the touch; sleepy blue hues meeting your embarrassed face. A grin settles over his face.

“Morning, sunshine.” His voice is an octave lower than usual, a rasp to it that has heat creeping up your face.

“Good morning, Chuckie...” the words slur together as you mumble them out, barely taking note of the rising flush in his cheeks.

“Morning sleeping beauties.” Tab calls out, cutting the moment short. “We’ve got a stalker to deal with.”

His words bring back all the worries and discomfort from yesterday, your smile dropping as Chuck runs a hand through your hair in attempt for comfort that works slimly.

Lip shuffles over the notes, face dropping with each one as it becomes apparent that the affection behind them is misguided. He sighs, looking at you with concern.

“How you holding up?”

You shrug, focusing on his clasped hands instead of the paper in front of him.

“I hate to say this,” he starts, “but there’s nothing I can do. There’s no name, nothing to identify him with.”

“So, what then?” Chuck speaks up, arms folded over his knees. “We just let this go?”

“We wait.” Lip frowns. “It’s not ideal and I don’t like it, but there’s nothing more that we can do.”

“Thank you anyway, Lip.” You try for a smile, but it falls flat.

“Keep an eye on her.” You hear him say to Chuck before you’re completely out of the room.

—

Days pass with Chuck hovering over you. Eyes watching as you attended to patients, making smalltalk as you did paperwork. His hand brushing your back as he walked with you to and fro, it was almost suffocating but the notes had stopped. And you liked spending time with Chuck, he was always kind to you but it was evident he cared about you given his reaction to the events.

He eased up, little by little, as a week passed and there were no new letters. They were on the back burner, a distant rotten memory, as Chuck smiles at you. The brush of his hand against yours as you sit next to each other during meals, resting your head on his shoulder. His arms around your waist, holding you in a tight hug.

You had feelings for him, a teeny crush that formed when you first met him, but now it was growing into something that felt like love.

“A party?” You quirk an eyebrow at Tab’s words.

“Well, more of a hangout. Booze, food, girls — sounds like a party to me.” He grins when Shifty shakes his head.

“You should go.” Chuck piped up. “It’ll be good to relax and let loose.”

He was right. You had been tightly coiled with anxiety, focusing on your work to avoid thinking about anything else.

It would be good to have a normal night for once.

—

Chuck has a hand on your waist, sipping from his beer as he recounts a story to you. His mouth is startlingly close to your ear to be heard over the roar of the crowd, voice carrying over the noise and settling nicely in your chest. You listen to him talk, but also take in his profile.

The slope of his nose, his teeth peeking over his pink lips, his bronzed hair sleek with pomade. His jaw that practically begged for your fingers to trace.

He was handsome, no doubt about it.

His eyes look down at you, blues sparkling under the bar lights.

“You doin’ okay?” He asks, lips brushing against your ear in a way that has you clenching your hand.

“Yeah,” You smile at him, because with him you are okay.

He returns the smile, moving his arm over your shoulder to draw you even closer. No space between your bodies. His other hand cups your cheek, leaning in to brush his lips over yours. It’s a soft, slow peck that has you trailing after him when he pulls away.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.” He confesses, thumb stroking your cheek.

“I thought we were friends.” You find yourself saying, in slight disbelief that he had just kissed you.

A shake of his head and a chuckle slip by before his mouth is on yours once again. You lose yourself in the feeling; of him, his hands on you, his lips moving against yours — it’s him. Chuck who makes your heart race, who makes you smile and laugh when you feel far from either, who comforts you, who loves you.

His breath hits your face, slightly labored. “Sunshine, we were never just friends.”

This time, it’s you who kisses him. Fingers gripping the uniform on his chest, pulling him as physically close as possible. His legs settle between yours, your thighs clenched around his hips. He pulls away to press kisses to your cheek, moving down to your neck until he’s nibbling gently. You let out a low moan, feeling the excitement course through you, realizing then that this was not the place.

“Chuck,” you gasp. “Not here.”

His eyes are dark, lit with a passion that has your toes curling. He looks past you, coming to the same conclusion, as he hauls you onto your feet. The warmth from his hand on your back burns through your shirt, gripping the material under his fingers as he tries to restraint himself.

Fresh, cold air hits you smack in the face when you tumble out the door. It’s sobering, but you find yourself under the weight of Chuck as he pulls you in for another heated kiss.

“I love you.” He says between kisses. “So damn much.”

You’ve thought about this, the words falling from his mouth and it was never like this; outside a bar, in the shadows of an alleyway, hands gripping your waist, lips swollen.

And, somehow it’s fitting. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

———

BoB tags: @kneesocksapollo @croatianbagudna @gottapenny @wexhappyxfew @medievalfangirl @liebthots @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @hbostolemysoul-motherblog @bandofmarvels

#band of brothers x reader #band of brothers imagine #chuck grant x reader #chuck grant imagine #chuck grant #bob #band of brothers #daddy long legs #inspired by his eye roll in this gif god i love him

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ofstarsandvibranium · 5 years

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Heavy Heart

Fandom: Marvel (Dance AU)

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky Barnes x Reader

As requested by anonymous: 🤩 May I request a model!au chubby!Bucky where you start getting into a physical activity like maybe dancing and so start spending less time with him and more with some other model. One day he comes over to the studio only to hear people gushing over you and the other guy? (ANGST) I LOVE YOUR FICS QUEEN 🤩

warning: mentions body shaming

A/N: I altered this request a little bit. It’s a dancing au instead of a model au. hope that’s okay!!

You entered your apartment tiredly. Your body was sore and sweaty from the intense dance class you took this evening. Your hair still clung to your sweaty forehead as you dragged your body towards the couch where you boyfriend, Bucky was sitting.

You dropped your dance bag at the foot of the couch and fell forward plopping yourself onto the cushions and letting your feet fall on Bucky’s lap.

“Intense choreo today?” he asked as he glanced to your tired form.

You groaned, “You have no idea! We got three months until competition. Nat and her class are pretty much set. But my class, jeez, Maria is putting hip hop to another level.”

“SHIELD Academy of Dance is the most intense and prestigious dance studio in the city, sweetheart. What did you expect?”

“I know. I know. I’m just-I’m dyin’ Buck!”

Bucky chuckles as he pulls off your shoes and begins to massage your feet, “You’ll get through it, babe. You’re an amazing dancer and a fast learner. You’ll get the moves down in no time.”

“Unlikely. But that’s why I asked this guy, Sam, to help me. He’s been with the studio for two years now and has more experience. I’m actually gonna go meet him at the studio tomorrow night.”

Bucky pouted, “But tomorrow’s date niiiiight!”

“I know. It’ll be an early practice. Just gimme two hours tops and I’ll come home, shower, and we can go do our usual thing. Sound good?”

Bucky softly smiled back at you, “Sure thing, baby doll.”

____________________________

It’s been three hours since you left to have dance practice with this Sam guy. You weren’t answering your phone and it was starting to get late. Most restaurants will be closing soon and you and Bucky have yet to go on your date for tonight.

With a frustrated groan, Bucky pocketed his phone and wallet, then walked out the apartment door, keys in his hand. He might as well pick you up at the studio since this Sam guy picked you up from the apartment.

When he arrived to the studio, he weaved through the halls until he found the room where you were practicing. But it wasn’t just you and Sam. There were a few other people there with you, people who, he assumed, needed more practice too.

You and Sam were in the middle of the room, the other people sitting around the two of you as you moved to the music. You and he were swift and moved with ease. Bucky found it hard to believe that you would be having trouble with this routine. You looked like a natural!

As quietly as he could, Bucky slid into the room and stood against the wall watching you two dance. In the mirror, you could clearly see him, which made you smile.

Once the routine was over, everyone cheered and clapped for the both of you. You and Sam high fived and he proceeded to kiss your cheek, which made you giggle.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky, who’s impressed grin turned into a confused frown.

You murmured something to Sam and rushed over to Bucky while the rest of the crew stood up to practice some more, “Hey! Whatcha doin’ here?”

Bucky, with arms crossed over his shoulders, frowned at you and said, “You were supposed to be home an hour ago.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief, “Oh shit! Baby, I’m so sorry! I totally lost track of time!” you practically dove for your dance bag, “I have stuff in my bag I can change into! I’ll take a quick shower here and we can go! I’m so, so sorry, Bucky!”

Seeing the genuine regret and guilt on your face made Bucky ease. He let his arms down and released the tension in his shoulders, “I forgive you. Now hurry on that cute but so we can eat.”

“On it!” you gave him a quick kiss on the lips and rushed outta studio and towards the locker room showers.

Bucky pulled out his phone and proceeded to scroll through it while he hated for you.

“Y/N’s dating him? Why? Look at him!” Bucky froze when he heard your name and a hiss of ‘him’ which meant that this woman was talking about him, Bucky. And not very quietly either.

Another voice joined the young woman’s, but a man’s this time, “I know right? I seriously thought her and Sam were a thing. They work so well together and they’re always next to each other during practice. Joking and laughing.”

“Honestly, I think her and Sam look so much better together than her and, well, this Mr. Dough Boy over there.”

Bucky’s heart dropped to his stomach hearing these words. Sure, he wasn’t the most fit guy, but he thought he was alright looking. But then...compared to Sam who was muscular, fit, and not to mention very good looking, well...Bucky thinks he looked like trash.

He immediately rushed out of the room, unable to take the snickering and gossiping. Just as he marched down the hall, you saw him heading for the exit.

“Hey! Bucky! Wait up!” you ran up to catch up with him, hair still damp from the shower.

“Date night’s cancelled,” he sneered.

“What? Why? Did something happen?”

“Just go hang out with Sam, Mister Perfect. I’m sure you’d have a better time with him anyway.”

He tried to pull away, but you didn’t relent on your grip, “No! Hey! What’s going on? Bucky, talk to me!”

He faced you again, teary-eyed and red in the face, “Aren’t you tired? Tired of people judging you for being with someone like me?”

“Someone like you? I don’t-”

“You have eyes, Y/N! I’m clearly not as fit as the people in your dance class!”

“Well neither am I, Buck. And I don’t care what those people say about you nor me! They don’t know us, so what they say doesn’t matter!”

“But it matters to me, Y/N!

“Well it shouldn’t! Because no matter what anyone says about you, Bucky, you’re a wonderful and amazing person! I know it’s cliche, but it’s all about the inside that counts, not the outside. Sure, someone can be gorgeous on the outside but if their personality and attitude are terrible, then they’re 100% ugly monsters. But you? You’re handsome and sexy and gorgeous because you’re so wonderfully kind, funny, understanding, and down to Earth. So fuck whoever said that you’re unattractive just because of how you look.”

Bucky’s shoulders sagged as he mumbled, “But don’t you think it’d be nice to be with a guy like Sam? So fit and smooth?”

You shrugged, “I mean, Sam’s easy on the eyes, but the guy is as immature as a fourteen year old boy, so I think I’d pass.” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, “I’d rather go for a man like you.”

Bucky leaned in, letting his forehead rest against yours, “I’m sorry. I just-”

“I know. It’s okay, Buck. I understand. But if you’re ever feeling this way, just talk to me, okay? I’ll do whatever it takes to see that I love you and find you to be the sexiest man alive.”

He chuckled, letting out a deep breath, “Thank you.”

“Anytime, lover. Now, should we still eat out or do you wanna eat in?”

“I think I wanna eat in tonight.”

You nodded, “Totally alright with me.” you slipped your hand into his and you both walked to the car. A weight was lifted off Bucky’s shoulders and he was so grateful to have someone as wonderfully understanding as you.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #marvel #au #dance au #chubby!bucky

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myself-and-the-marauders · 7 years

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Train Rides: Young!James Potter x Reader *Smut*

A/N: Okay, so, this wasn’t suppose to go out until after ‘Wait For Me’ part two, but I’m like, physically and mentally not able to write that right now, and I don’t know why, so I just decided to finish this. Oh and also, I decided to post this tonight instead of tomorrow cause it was basically done, ops.

If you didn’t read the title, this is a smut, this is also my first attempt at writing smut so, it may not be fantastic. I apologize if it doesn’t go into great detail or anything, like I said, I’m new to writing smut so this was really awkward for me to write, but I had to start somewhere, soz.

As smuts go, please do not read this if you’re uncomfortable with sexual situations, it’s tots fine to skip out on this one, my dude.

Anyway, Enjoy! ♥

Word Count: 1504

Warnings: Mild Smut, Fluff(ish)

A field of blurred shapes and colors filled my vision as I lied my head again the glass of the window. The only thing there was to look at was an endless stretch of grass, littered with a couple trees as it flew past my eyes. The bright sun reflected against the water, causing my eyes to burn.

Spacing out, I traced my fingers in a figure eight against the chilled glass, oblivious to anything going on around me. As my eyes followed the pattern of my fingers, I felt a light tap on my shoulder. Blinking a couple times, I let my hand fall from the glass and then slowly turned my head to the right, making eye contact with a pair of beautiful brown orbs.

Giving me a dorky grin, he clasped his hands in front of him. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Bored." I said through a yawn while turning my body in James' direction."How long has he been passed out?" I giggled, cocking my head at Sirius who lied pass out against the booth seat.

"Damn near the entire ride," he laughed, running a hand through his hair. "Must be a dog thing."

"Must be," I said through laughter as I watched Sirius' eyebrows bunch together in the center of his face.

After a few seconds, our laughter had died down and the train car once again fell into silence. Looking around the car, everyone but James and I were sleeping soundly, looking as comfortable as could be.

Not knowing what to do, I began tapping my thighs with my thumbs. Shifting my eyes back to window, I felt small pricks of nerves start to build in the pit of my stomach as I became fully aware of his presence beside me.

As if confirming my anxiousness, two warm hands placed themselves on my hips and pulled me back, right into his lap.

After getting comfortable, he wrapped his arms around my waist and brought his lips to my ear. "You're ignoring me." He whispered, dragging his tongue on the outer ring of my ear. "Why are you ignoring me, love?"

The way the words left his mouth so smoothly sent my body melting into his. "I-I'm not." I whispered awkwardly, he knew just how much of a reaction I had when he did this, why is he choosing to do it now?

Nuzzling his face into my neck, he sunk his teeth into the soft flesh that connected my neck to my shoulder and ran the tip of his tongue over it. "Yes you are."

A small whimper left my mouth as I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. "J-James we c-can't do this here." Contrary to my words, my fingers made their way to his hair and tangled themselves in his messy locks.

Responding with a low groan, James ran his tongue over the bite once more before moving his lips up my neck and next to my ear, leaving small pecks along his way.

"You say that..." he started, snickering, "but then you do things like that." His husky voice whispered in my ear, lightly blowing air into it. "Are you absolutely sure you don't want to...?" His voice teased me as his right hand dropped down to my thigh.

I had nothing to say at this point. His tongue continuously lapped over my neck as his hand ever so lightly pried my thighs apart. Taking this moment to tease me further, his fingers traced small circles on my inner thighs, right below my core.

"J-James..." I whimpered, bitting the inside of my cheek to stop myself from getting any louder.

"Hmm?" He hummed, letting his fingers trail dangerously close to my center.

"W-what if someone notices us?" My words were dragging together now. The fact there there were three other people in the car that could see us slowly drifted from my mind.

"We can stop..." James chuckled in my ear, knowing clearly that I'm not in any state for him to stop.

Not taking his eyes off me, James cupped the spot between my thighs and gently ran the tips of his fingers over the fabric that covered it. I was already an absolute mess and this made it worse, I had basically become putty in his hands.

"And you say you don't want this..." he chuckled as I leaned further and further into his hand.

"James please..." I whined, my grip on his hair tightening. At the point I was at, I couldn't care less if someone saw us, I just needed him.

Nodding to himself, he removed his hand from it's spot between my legs, only to sink it underneath my jeans. Taking his time, he slowly traced his cold fingertips over the waist band of my panties, making my body jolt slightly.

"James..." It was as if I couldn't say anything else, I needed some sort of contact from him and he wasn't complying. "Please..." I whined, turning my face to bury it into his chest.

"Patience, love." He whispered, letting out a small tut of laughter as he let his fingers travel lower.

Ever so lightly, he let his fingers graze my clit, making my body jump into his. The smallest of whimpers left my mouth as I bit my wrist, knowing if I was any louder we'd get caught.

"Here you are, complaining to me about how this is wrong, yet..." Bringing his left hand up, he ran it through his hair a dragged it down his face, letting out what seemed like a growl. "Merlin...you're so wet right now."

At this comment, he quickened his pace, flicking one finger over the small bus of nerves while another teased my entrance, causing my head to dig into his chest. Going further, his fingers stopping his previous flicking motion and began to press down, making slow circle over my already throbbing clit.

My mind was basically screaming, threatening to be let out. Trying to find something to clutch onto, my fingernails dug into his left arm that held my waist, evoking another low groan that only intensified my pleasure. "Oh my god, James." I moaned, as I bit my lip.

"Shh." James whispered in my ear as he bit down on the thin flesh. "Wouldn't want to wake them, now would you?" No sooner than when he finished that statement, he harshly pushed two fingers past my entrance.

"I-" My back arched against him at the realization, making my mouth fall open into a silent moan as my head fell back onto his shoulder.

Beginning to slowly push deeper, I could feel the coil rapidly begin to unwind in my stomach, I didn't have much longer.

Returning his mouth back to my neck, he began sucking on the opposite side he had before while relentlessly pushing his fingers further, grazing the spot that only he could find deep within me.

"C'mon..." His husky voice whispered in my ear, begging me to let go. "I can feel how close you are." The vibration of his voice sent me into utter bliss, making my toes curl. My mouth fell open into another silent moan as I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Almost there, baby..." James' voice whispered in my ear as his fingers dug even further. "Just let go."

Circling his thumb one last time, my body was sent over the edge. My teeth sharply dug into my lip to stop myself from moaning as I stiffened in his arms.

"There you go...did so well for me." James whispered in my ear, slowing the pace of his fingers until they gradually stopped. "So, so well."

Laying on him, I took a couple deep breaths, trying desperately to even them. After a couple minutes of utter silence, my eyes hesitantly opened, resting on the face that hung in front of mine. I could feel the flush gradually come back to my face as I watched his eyes narrow, a small smirk growing at the corner of his mouth.

"So..."He trailed off, running his hands over my sensitive thighs.

"No." I breathed out, knowing exactly what he was going to say.

"Fine, you'd better be prepared for tonight then." He whispered, the cocky smirk still plastered on his face as gently pushed me off his lap. "On a different note..." His voice trailed off as he gestured to boys who lied passed out in front of us.

"Yeah..." I watched their bodies slow rise and fall with the shallow breaths they were taking. "How the hell have they been sleeping this entire time...?"

"Suppose they don't enjoy train rides..." James' trailed off before slowly turning his head in my direction, another smirk forming on his lips. "Though...I believe you quite enjoy them, don't you?"

"I hate you." Was the only thing that I could come with as I turned my head away from him, causing loud laughter to fill the car.

"Don-don't worry love, I quite enjoy them too." He managed to speak through his laughter.

"Oh, I'm sure you do, James. I'm sure you do..."

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