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captnjacksparrow · 2 years

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(Part 1) Hello, I hope I´m not bothering you but I wanted to discuss something that I have just found. I am new to the Naruto fandom and still don´t know much about it but I am fond of the ship between Naruto and Sasuke but what dampers that joy a little bit is all the nonsensical canonical couples that we got. It´s not just that I found them incompatible in terms of their respective personalities but really inconsistent. We have the canonical manga, then we have all the anime fillers and then there are the novels. Yet many of these additional supplementary material contradict previously estabilished facts from the canon and make the characters really OOC to try to poorly explain how they came to be. Not only that but also other informations about the lore are contradictory. For example in one of the novels it is stated that Mikoto wasn´t an Uchiha and that Sasuke and Itachi themselves are only half-bloods, yet in the Boruto manga it is stated by Sarada that Sasuke is the only pure-blooded Uchiha left in the world, which he couldn´t have been if Mikoto also wasn´t Uchiha by blood. Then we have Kishimoto saying in one of his interviews (I think, correct me if I´m wrong) that Sasuke fell for Sakura after the War. Yet in the novels it was stated that he was already in love with her when he was leaving the village for the first time when he was 12. The novel states that the reason why Sakura and Sasuke aren´t wearing wedding rings is beacuse it´s not Konoha´s tradition to do so, yet we saw couples that had wedding rings like Hinata and Naruto and I think Shikamaru and Temari also. Sasuke not being home for 12 years, even before he got his official mission from Naruto, in order to protect his family from his enemies, so the fact that Sakura is his wife has to remain a secret (his own words from the novel), yet she is flaunting and wearing the Uchiha family crest everywhere. She even frames it as a picture. And for how long was he planning to stay away anyway? His wife´s and daughter´s entire lives? Minato also had enemies worldwide but he wasn´t planning to abandon his family. And there is the fact that Sasuke´s official excuse for not being with his family is because of his mission but he didn´t get one until after Naruto already became Hokage when Sarada was already like 7-8 years old. It´s so bizzare. Then we have dinosaurs in the Sasuke Retsuden novel, when it feels like it came out of completely different universe as there is no mention of it anywhere else. Then characters having powers that they didn´t have in the manga nor anime - like Sasuke having medical ninjutsu and crystal release (?) and Sakura suddenly acquiring the ability to cast fireballs despite fire not being her element and eyes faster than Sharingan. She also estabilished with Ino a hospital for mentally ill people, yet we never hear of it anywhere else apart from that one Sakura novel. And then even the novel made her act like a complete creep when she stated that she will confess to Sasuke her feelings as many times as it will take and compares her "convincing" Sasuke to beating an enemy. She is borderline deranged, acting more like a rapist than an innocet selfless girl in love. And yet I am supossed to believe that Sasuke would fall for this, calling her my "one and only wife“, when he hated fangirls and people objectifying him and sexualizing him. Sasuke as we know him didn´t like to be stalked, harassed and molested by neither Karin or Sakura or anyone else. (Also why they need to copy a moment between Sasuke and Naruto once again to justify either Naruhina or Sasusaku? Hinata´s chakra was even changed to purple to resemble Sasuke´s. It wasn´t originally her colour. Then we have Hinata being kidnapped to a moon by aliens in The Last, and Sakura in the novel being called a "sunshine of spring" by Sasuke when the sun symbolism was always associated with Naruto.) I believe that I could eventually make peace with these ships even if they were badly written, if they were at least a little bit consistent, but they are just weird.

(Part 2) What´s more I hate all the hypocricy and double standarts surrounding them. It hinges on guilt-tripping , coercion and emotional manipulation. Especially during The Last it makes Sakura look like a total hypocrite when she says that „when a girl truly falls in love, her feelings don´t change that easily, they can´t change.“ But guy´s feelings have to? What sort of logic is that? And what about her statement that Naruto´s feelings were just born out of a competition with Sasuke over her, when Sasuke wasn´t at that point even interested in her that way, so what competition? And not to mention that´s rich coming from her, when her own feelings for Sasuke were born out of the competition with Ino, her best friend that she stabbed in the back for a boy that didn´t care for either of them back then. Or saying that Naruto is an idiot who does not understand true love, just because he isn´t returning the feelings of a girl. That´s one of the reasons why I don´t like her. Because she acts like she has the right to refuse anyone she is not romantically interested in, yet she deprives other people of that same courtesy. Who is she to dictate with whom should other people be intimate with/sleep with, produce children with, settling down, spend the rest of their lives with? It´s like she is some kind of a pimp selling Naruto to the highest possible bidder, whether he wants to or not. Like it´s not exactly a prostitution, but I still get similar vibes from it by trying to force a guy to have an intimate relations with someone against his will. That´s rape. Like imagine if the genders were reversed and it was Naruto who would be forcing Sakura to give Lee a chance, and shaming her and calling her deregotary names if she doesn´t. Treating her like an idiot who doesn´t know anything about love just because she doesn´t want to screw this guy. And then let her finally fall in love with him when she is literally brainwashed by a genjutsu showing her just how much Lee did for her and therefore how much he „deserves“ her, so she better be grateful because he is just so good. Imagine the backlash if that happened. What adds even more salt to the injury is the implication that Sakura doesn´t do this because she genuinelly feels sorry for this girl and wants to help her out of the sheer goodness of her heart, it´s because she sees herself in her situation and she is projecting. She literally says that „girls in love have to help each other“ when Hinata questions her. So she is basically admitting that she is doing it for herself. Because she wants to vicariously live off her sick fantasies through someone else. Because she thinks that if this one-sided relationship comes to pass despite everything going against it, then it gives her more hope for her own relationship to succeed. After all she recognizes that she and Hinata are right now in the same boat. And the fact that she thinks that they both need „help“ is telling. After all if it all was so consensual and mutual, why would a help be needed in the first place? And where was all this care for Hinata from Sakura, when Hinata just confessed to Naruto during the Pain attack and almost died trying to save his life, yet Sakura had no problem to make a false love confession to Naruto even if she knew at that point how Hinata feels about him. So why the sudden change of heart? Why only now and never before? I hate what message these ships send. That the girl´s feelings always have to be validated, respected and rewarded, but if you are a guy you should just back off and mind your own business if the girl rejects you, because you can´t force feelings on anyone , but only when you are a guy, if you are a girl then the same rules do not apply to you for… reasons. It´s all horribly sexist to me and discriminatory towards men. Like people are so quick to jump on Kishimoto for being a misogynist towards women, but why they do not go into these sort of complains when it´s men who are being screwed?

(Part 3) Not to mention that it is always girls that have to chase after the men, they have to beg them to love them back on their hands and knees, to give them just one more chance to prove how wonderful they would be for them, to humilate themselves before them, to sacrifice their self-worth and dignity for them. Not to mention being petty, competetive and horrible towards every other woman they see as a potential threat. That´s not healthy. It promotes obsession and unhealthy coping mechanisms, not true love. It basically tells young girls that if they don´t get together with the first boy they ever liked, then they are basically worthless and their live is pretty much over. While it also tells boys that if they don´t return the feelings of their admirers, then they are the scums of the earth. The message that they send is incredibly harmful and toxic for both genders. I´m not sure if it was intentional or if it is just a bad writing, but oh boy is it incredibly frustrating and it prevents me to if not at least enjoy it, to at least tolerate it a little bit more. And why I don´t mind that much when it comes to a mature adult audience that watches these sort of things because I hope they know better, but this show is aimed for mostly teenage boys as it is a shonen. It worries me what kind of things they might take from it, because yes this is fiction and it´s not real, but at the same time art does not exist in a vacuum. And I admit that Kishimoto´s ever changing and contradictory interviews also don´t help to fully sell me to the idea either. (Part 4) But back to the original topic at hand. I wanted to show you something that I have found on Kishimoto´s official twitter account from the end of the last year (2020) where he asks the fans what would they like to see happen in the Boruto next. He also shares there pictures of a pregnant Sakura with another Uchiha baby after most people voted for it. Here I send you both links:

https://twitter.com/kishimotomasshi/status/1328281602942791682

https://twitter.com/kishimotomasshi/status/1335321893956628480

Once again I´m sorry if this message was too long or anything, I was just curious what is your take on it considering the recent events that are happening right now. Thank you so much for all the effort and time you always put into your answers. Have a nice and peaceful day.

Woahh!!! Thanks for this lengthy and insightful ask!!!! And many of the points you made here in this Ask were really Fresh and New. And I am pretty sure people who read this post must also have felt the same way.

And that part about Sexist towards Men... IS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY ALL ALONG IN MANY OF MY POSTS (Btw, I received this ask much before my last misogyny post) I don't know if I can actually do any justice to all of your claims but I'll try my best to ease your mind, A Bit???

I have found on Kishimoto´s official twitter account from the end of the last year (2020)

Firstly, Kishimoto is not in Twitter. That's clearly an SS fan-made troll account... [[These jokers are just going way too overboard]]

So, Please don't believe these nonsense. And these assholes dare to morph Kushina with Sakura, huh??? Geez!!! There's not even a bit of creativity.

We have the canonical manga, then we have all the anime fillers and then there are the novels. Yet many of these additional supplementary material contradict previously estabilished facts from the canon and make the characters really OOC to try to poorly explain how they came to be.

I clearly wrote a post as to what is canon and what is not in this post... [Link]

In Short, Manga is the only true canon. Other than the Manga, You can take the Art, Poster, One-Shot Manga, Movie which was entirely conceived by Kishimoto to be semi-canon i.e, Keep it purely for reference purpose to understand what the Author was conveying to which it mostly have a direct reference to his original material.

For Example, Road to Ninja One Shot Manga. Even though none of those incidents were related to Naruto manga in any way, but you could find many Easter-Eggs which would have direct references with the Original. Which I talked about here [Link]

So, Yes.... Novels, Filler Episodes, movies are not canon.

For example in one of the novels it is stated that Mikoto wasn´t an Uchiha and that Sasuke and Itachi themselves are only half-bloods, yet in the Boruto manga it is stated by Sarada that Sasuke is the only pure-blooded Uchiha left in the world, which he couldn´t have been if Mikoto also wasn´t Uchiha by blood.

This is actually a news to me and no one in this fandom has ever talked about this shit piece of information and I am very sure, Sasuke and Itachi fans would be furious to hear this crap load of garbage.

Mikoto is a Full Blooded Uchiha. And by that logic, Itachi as well as Sasuke too.

And I think you are confusing with Itachi's non-existent girlfriend Izumi. She was the one who was not entirely an Uchiha. But anyways, Novels are not canon. So, It's safe to ignore it.

Then we have Kishimoto saying in one of his interviews (I think, correct me if I´m wrong) that Sasuke fell for Sakura after the War. Yet in the novels it was stated that he was already in love with her when he was leaving the village for the first time when he was 12.

That wasn't Kishimoto, by the way. It was Sasuke's Voice Actor who gave that interview to throw off those SS pests.

Please don't believe these kind of shipping Interviews from Voice Actors or even Kishimoto himself (atleast when it comes to the ships). Whereas his Other general interviews where he talked about the lores and writing process of the story, you can believe it without a doubt.

His contradicting Interviews about SS and NH was something I already wrote about it here... [Link]

In Short, He never fell in love with Sakura at any point. I think it was very clear from the way he wrote Gaiden. You see all these inconsistencies in these materials because those things weren’t written by him or his assistants who have been with his since the very beginning.

The Author of Boruto Manga, Ikemoto... Who was working as Kishimoto’s assistant from chapter 10 of Naruto Manga I guess. And that’s why you won’t see any SS or NH material in that manga. And somewhat consistent in portraying N and S.

Whereas the novels were written by some crappy newbie who got into Naruto manga very recently and then they asked them to write their own fan fiction. It’s almost like you are forcing a baby to be handled by a stranger rather than it’s own mother.

Sasuke not being home for 12 years, even before he got his official mission from Naruto, And for how long was he planning to stay away anyway? His wife´s and daughter´s entire lives? Minato also had enemies worldwide but he wasn´t planning to abandon his family. And there is the fact that Sasuke´s official excuse for not being with his family is because of his mission but he didn´t get one until after Naruto already became Hokage when Sarada was already like 7-8 years old. It´s so bizzare.

The thing is, he was planning to abandon them for as long as he wanted to because he don't like his family, especially Sakura.

Yes, He wanted family. But not from Sakura.

Then we have dinosaurs in the Sasuke Retsuden novel

I don't want to face this trauma again. Because we already got over it??? For now (???). And I know this shitstorm was going to attack someday... So, let's wait and see what happens.

And then even the novel made her act like a complete creep when she stated that she will confess to Sasuke her feelings as many times as it will take and compares her "convincing" Sasuke to beating an enemy.

But, Anon... did you really felt like she is a complete creep only in the Novel??? Not during the War Arc???? Not even that time when she wanted to see the dick of Sasuke???

I am actually surprised that you were so tolerant.

She is borderline deranged, acting more like a rapist than an innocet selfless girl in love. And yet I am supossed to believe that Sasuke would fall for this, calling her my "one and only wife“, when he hated fangirls and people objectifying him and sexualizing him. Sasuke as we know him didn´t like to be stalked, harassed and molested by neither Karin or Sakura or anyone else.

Oh Boy!!! This is the first time I am directly seeing someone referring Sakura's name with the term 'r*pist'. Because, Previously I heard that Japanese people called her such, after the release of Gaiden... But I couldn’t believe it. LOLOL. Probably they are true.

I believe that I could eventually make peace with these ships even if they were badly written, if they were at least a little bit consistent, but they are just weird.

They are badly written, Yes without a doubt. But It was very intentional from the Author's side. Because, he knew how Naruto was going to end back in 2009 itself... And yet knowing that he refuse to give any development for the Main Ships while making side ships to be more rounded and satisfactory.

I've talked about it [Here]... [Here]... [Here].

Especially during The Last it makes Sakura look like a total hypocrite when she says that „when a girl truly falls in love, her feelings don´t change that easily, they can´t change.“ But guy´s feelings have to? What sort of logic is that?

Or saying that Naruto is an idiot who does not understand true love, just because he isn´t returning the feelings of a girl. That´s one of the reasons why I don´t like her. Because she acts like she has the right to refuse anyone she is not romantically interested in, yet she deprives other people of that same courtesy.

Who is she to dictate with whom should other people be intimate with/sleep with, produce children with, settling down, spend the rest of their lives with? It´s like she is some kind of a pimp selling Naruto to the highest possible bidder, whether he wants to or not. Like it´s not exactly a prostitution, but I still get similar vibes from it by trying to force a guy to have an intimate relations with someone against his will. That´s rape. Like imagine if the genders were reversed and it was Naruto who would be forcing Sakura to give Lee a chance, and shaming her and calling her derogatary names if she doesn´t. Treating her like an idiot who doesn´t know anything about love just because she doesn´t want to screw this guy. And then let her finally fall in love with him when she is literally brainwashed by a genjutsu showing her just how much Lee did for her and therefore how much he „deserves“ her, so she better be grateful because he is just so good. Imagine the backlash if that happened.

I hate what message these ships send. That the girl´s feelings always have to be validated, respected and rewarded, but if you are a guy you should just back off and mind your own business if the girl rejects you, because you can´t force feelings on anyone , but only when you are a guy, if you are a girl then the same rules do not apply to you for… reasons. It´s all horribly sexist to me and discriminatory towards men. Like people are so quick to jump on Kishimoto for being a misogynist towards women, but why they do not go into these sort of complains when it´s men who are being screwed?

This!!!! This!!! This!!!

I've been saying this message in many of my posts but in a very different way. I've always been talking From Kishimoto's writing POV but I never wrote about Gender Switching thing even though I touched about it here and there.

But You've summed it up so well.

This is exactly what puzzled me when I stepped into the Fandom. I Love SNS and I Love both of those Idiots. But those boys are the one who actually got the short end of the stick. Whereas those assholes got whatever they wanted and now they are watching TV, Buying Flowers and Blushing and bullshit... At the expense of Naruto and Sasuke’s unhappiness. And now an exclusive Manga even.

But no one actually talked about how horribly sexist the writing was towards Naruto and Sasuke to force these insensitive assholes on their head. Kishi knowingly whored off Naruto in the Last movie.

Imagine we were reading a Lesbian Manga with so much love between 2 lead girls and all of a sudden the writer sold off those girls to spread their legs for some toxic stalkers like some broodmare... (???). How do we feel???. In my opinion, That would be the real misogyny. Whereas, In SNS fandom, People say Kishi made me hate Hinata and Sakura. He is a misogynist. (????). Well, He may very well be a misogynist. But he literally & knowingly fucked up my two favourite MALE characters. And what's more, He fucked Neji to become a literal pimp for NH. Imagine if TenTen was made to sacrifice her life to connect NH!!! And think about the backlash...

Am not saying, Kishimoto is a God with no flaws at all. It's just that while criticizing him for being a misogynist, please look at the other side and see how he fucked up his male characters in a worst possible way. And also, try to gender switch and see if you come to the same conclusion as before. Because in most of the cases, it won't be the same.

Eg, People were okay with Naruto going Feral for Sasuke. But when Obito lost his control for Rin, it's called simping for a girl who didn't return his love.

And that's why I wrote in my first misogyny post to remove their gender lens and enjoy this series. Atleast when it comes to LGBT materials.

It basically tells young girls that if they don´t get together with the first boy they ever liked, then they are basically worthless and their live is pretty much over. While it also tells boys that if they don´t return the feelings of their admirers, then they are the scums of the earth. The message that they send is incredibly harmful and toxic for both genders. I´m not sure if it was intentional or if it is just a bad writing, but oh boy is it incredibly frustrating and it prevents me to if not at least enjoy it, to at least tolerate it a little bit more. And why I don´t mind that much when it comes to a mature adult audience that watches these sort of things because I hope they know better, but this show is aimed for mostly teenage boys as it is a shonen. It worries me what kind of things they might take from it, because yes this is fiction and it´s not real, but at the same time art does not exist in a vacuum.

Hmm, this is a very Good point.

When it comes to the overall message of the story. It's very clear. Try to Love, Forgive and Understand other people before you plan to hurt someone. That's all and he couldn't have said it any better than he already did in his 700 chapters.

Majority of General Audience and Young boys don't care about Ships, If I am being realistic. Boys care more about Power Levels as to who is stronger and who will win. General Audience like to see how the plot advances. Shipping faction amounts to 30-40% of the fandom and most of them ships for Self-Insertion. Like they really don't care about development and all that. Just few days before, I got an ask where an Anon shared their experience about arguing with an SS shipper and said "If only your relationship were like SS..." or something along those lines... For which that SS shipper said, "I don't need any man".

Could you even take these kind of people seriously???? And most of them are like this.

And Still....

Why do we have to focus on NH and SS alone??? Yeah, Yeah, I get it... they are the main characters and hence we pay attention to them more. But hey, can we all please look at the other ships Kishi had created???? What about DanTsu??? It’s one of the ship with positive development and unfortunately it ended up tragic. And what about ShikaTema??? It started out with mutual enmity, then admiration... MinaKushi???. None of these ships promotes any unhealthy obsession or coping mechanisms, forcing a person to become a doormat or anything. All these ships were clearly mutual in all aspects. Can you say, atleast one instance where Tsunade or Kushina or Temari becoming a doormat to Dan or Minato or Shikamaru????

If you logically ask these questions to yourself, you will find the difference. And that difference being Naruto and Sasuke were clearly not interested in these girls. And those girls should have backed off. But then they didn’t.

But even then, if you read Gaiden, the message is very clear. "Don't chase a boy who is not into you... Otherwise you would be left with emptiness just like Sakura". Throughout that manga her face was extremely pathetic and she is not giving off the vibe of an Happy Woman. And readers in Japan collectively hated the fact that Sakura and Sasuke were together.

Shipping part is something which was very personal to him, I guess... Or atleast that's what I feel from his writing and I think he never wanted to be responsible for anyone other than himself (????). He is selfish that way and I think every writers has this own personal thing in their own story and it's entirely unrealistic to ask every writers to write a story and convey a good message... entirely for public. Sometimes people go selfish and want something for themselves. Because who would believe that Naruto manga is a Love Story between 2 boys hiding under the layers of Ninja World, Clan Warfare, Impending threat of War, Chakra, Resurrection and all those themes????

Naruto’s Chapter 1 taught us the importance of Understanding other people. And Chapter 27 or the entire Land of the Waves Arc which covers from Chapter 9 to Chapter 3 taught us ‘Becoming Stronger to protect the important person’. Haku clearly made sure to tell Naruto and Audience about this message. And Guess what happened...???

This panel may look funny and rightfully so. But The Author is known for conveying his story through these little jokes.

Naruto indeed came to Understand how Sasuke felt all along and he became stronger only to stand with him as an equal and mainly to protect Sasuke. Which is basically the entire Part 2 until Chapter 699. When I completed this series, that message about Understanding and Protecting an Important Person was what that stayed in my mind. Definitely not these ugly ships.

And also, Kishi was also not going meek and said “I did this or that or anything”. He let the audience to take whatever they want from this manga.

I completely agree that when it comes to Main characters’ shipping, Kishimoto's message may not be very convincing or responsible to the Readers. It's even insensitive (in Gaiden) to an extent. I accept that. But he wanted to say a beautiful over arching message of the story, Love and Understanding, and he did it in a very convincing way.

So, I think most of those younglings don't even take any of these shipping dynamics into their heart very seriously because Romance is not the main theme of this Manga (Well, It is... But not SS or NH). Atleast not on a plain sight.

#sns #sasunaru #narusasu #antisakura #anti sakura #misogyny #misandry #kishimoto

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theravencawsatmidnight · 3 years

Text

Rabbit

Chapter Two Part Three

After two years in Azkaban for how he treated you Draco was finally free. The only thing keeping him going was you. Now finally reunited with his Rabbit he thinks things will go easier for him. But Draco is struggling mentally and refusing to ask for help, but his only hope might be the person he despises the most

W!Heavy Ptsd, mental freak outs. Hearing voices, blood, bruises, cuts. Draco trying to convince himself he’s fine. Refusing to ask for help. Mental instability. The voices are the Dementors

Tags. @shinsouscatpisssmell @goofygobber @rosiehufflepuff @trashyvicks @dracoslittlesunflower @khemz1312 @dracmalf0y-dm

Help?

What did he say?

Help?

HELP?!

He does not need help!

Draco you have us!

You have the the dark

You have the cell waiting for you

“Pott...er….” Draco pressed his sleeve all over his face to rid him of the tears, the defeat he felt was at rock bottom, asking the one man he hated in school for help. He couldn't even fix this one thing by himself , the Great Draco Malfoy, unable to overcome a problem, unheard of.

Why do you think he will help?

Draco dug his nails in his hair and Harry reached out his arm to the shaking desperate man. He knew instantly what the problem was. He watched Draco talk to himself, shake his head, scratch his arms and look over his shoulder. He noticed Draco kept looking towards the window where the sun was shining as if he wanted to run up to the sun and be covered in its bright rays.

“Draco..”

“Shut up ! , this was a sssstupid idea, just get out..”

Yes draco.

You dont need him

You dont need anything

But us

He whimpered, his lip was shaking . “i…”

“Draco, how long has it been like this?”

“Two...two.. Years..”

So the time in Azkaban then. “They are talking to you, right?” he reached out more, touching Dracos sleeve getting a scare out of him. Draco jumped in his seat, getting frantic. “Biscuit… wheres biscuit.. I .. i neeed….” his hands were moving all around the table till Harry grabbed one of his hands. “Look at me” he told the terrified blond.

Draco yanked his hand back, getting a massive headache now, he just needed Biscuit to calm down.. Just.. need..

“SHUT UP!!!”

“Draco, stop talking to them!!! “ Harry got out of his seat grabbing Dracos hand with both of his squeezing it tight. Draco was screaming and on the verge of having a breakdown, he was yanked forward out of his seat so he was eye level with Harry. His face was read and his chest was heaving very hard trying to keep his body together.

“Stop talking to them,” he said calmly , holding his hand tight.

“I CANT!!!

“Yes. you can. Thats how they are getting in Draco. You have to stop talking to them. “

“You don't know what youre talking about…!!!!” he thrashed but Harrys grip was too tight.

“When i was was gathering the Horcrux I could hear Voldermort in my head, Hermine told me to stop talking to him, and ignore him. And he stopped.”

Thats not true Draco

We want to help

“I…” Draco bit his lip and the shaking in his wrist was slowly coming to a stop.

Did he hear us?

He always does

Draco?

Harry slowly sat back down, taking Draoc with him, watching him get settled into his seat again, his breathing was calming down and the sweat on his brow was fading. He shot Harry a look and the man nodded at him confirming what he said was true. He laid his hand down on the table and Harry let go slowly so he could settle back down in his chair as well . He was quiet for a moment, letting Draco take his time pulling himself together.

Draco?

Can you hear us?

We miss you

….

……

“I don't hear them…” he glanced up, running his hands through his very hair. “I .. i don't hear them…”

“You just have to stop talking to them, don't let them in. its not going to be as easy every time but I want to help . What happened in Azkaban Draco?”

He was scared, talking about those two years terrified him, seeing you in such a state, his father, how his only thing to look forward to was the full moon. He was scared of the dark, the voices , the torture, everything. But .. he had to get help.. He needed help.

“I.. those two years.. I want to get better , for .. Rabbit.”

“Do you mean y/n? Draco I support that 100% . but you need to do this for yourself too, not just y/n, but for you. “

“m...M-me?”

“Yes. i can help.”

“O...okay.. Potter…”

Knock knock.

Fred and George poked their heads in. “sorry to interrupt, but y/n is looking for her Slytherin” they both said.

“We are just finishing up, be out soon” Harry told the twins, they both waved, closing the door and Harry turned his attention back to Draco who was looking at his bruised knuckles. “Ill tell you.. Potter… but not here”

“Come to The Burrow tomorrow, around 9 o clock, we can talk there.”

Draco wanted to throw up, the Weasleys? Gods. “Fine..”

Harry got up and so did the shaky blond , Harry shook his hand once last time with assurance. “I promise Draco, I will help you get past this.”

Draco had grabbed the man's hand with his free one shaking slightly. “Thank.. You.. “

“No Problem Draco.”

“Rabbit.. Doesn't know.. So.. “

“I wont say anything.” he let go and made his way to the door, opening it and going out, Draco close behind him.

The two went down the steps to see you talking to the twins . you looked so happy to Draco, he had not seen that smile in so long. When he was at your home all he got was the curious look and the worried look. He needed to get better. For him and you.

“Rabbit..”

“Draco?” you waved to the twins pushing by to give the man a hug . “you okay? Where were you?”

“Just.. catching up..” he wrapped his arms around you squeezing tightly.

“Hello y/n!” Harry said waving to you.

“Oh Harry! Hello, how are you? The family?”

“Wonderful, thank you, do you mind if Draco comes to the Burrow tomorrow? Ron and Hermine want to see him as well.”

“Not at all, ill be working anyway.” you could feel Dracos hand in your hair moving up and down.

“Great, ill see you all later,” Harry said his goodbyes and you said goodbye to the twins taking Draco out of the shop and into the sunny Diagon Alley.

“Ready to go home?” you asked him, hugging his side.

For the first time in two long years, Draco could hear himself think. Two long years. The silence had never sounded so good. He pulled you close, flicking your forehead and kissing your nose. “Maybe, what will we get up to there?”

“dr..-Draco” you got a little embarrassed .

He smirked, lifting his chin high . “hm? Want to find out?”

You laughed and tugged at his arm. “We won't find out here, lets hurry up and go home, Draco.”

#.RabbitFic #draco 😤#draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #draco x hufflepuff reader

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that-yandere-life · 4 years

Note

Hello! I saw your post about your birthday, and I was just going to submit this so I don't forget! I would love a yandere NSFW alphabet for Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds, please. I absolutely love that boy. If you're not able to do that, it's totally fine! By the way, how are you doing right now? Just thought I should check in as well with everything going on right now. Thank you so much, and Happy Birthday!! 🖤🖤🖤

[Thank you so much for helping me celebrate! I hope this is everything you were looking for darling!]

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Spencer isn’t exactly experienced in the bedroom, but he is a genius who would want to make sure that he does everything right by you. So that means plenty of research on how to properly pleasure you and take care of you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Favorite part of his: His hands, the way they feel touching you sensually, to using his long fingers to bring you to orgasm over and over again. Also the sensation of gripping your hips as he thrusts into you with all of his might.

Favorite part of yours: Your hips, especially with remnants of a bruise from the tight grip he keeps on them while plunging into you as deep as he can. Or light nail marks left behind during a rougher session.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Inside of you is his clear favorite choice, while you might not exactly expect that from him. If you are uncomfortable with that he will compromise and cum on your stomach or chest.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Lowkey has a breeding kink, even though he is worried about passing on any mental illness to your potential children. Being with you makes that risk worth the price to him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced, but is very good at reading people due to his job so he knows how to pleasure you better than anyone you have ever been with before. Not to mention is an exceptionally fast learner, listening to your feedback and taking it to heart every single time.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary because he loves holding you down and taking you, while being able to watch you fall apart. This is also because it helps him read your body language so he can adjust his technique if need be.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Spencer will likely be more serious most of the time, but that doesn’t mean that situations don’t happen where neither of you can help but laugh. It’s never perfect or easy to engage in the act of lovemaking.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Spencer keeps it trimmed, although sometimes he let’s it go for too long as it’s not something he constantly gives attention to. If it bothers you however he will make a conscious effort to maintain his landscaping for you.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Spencer is very romantic in the moment, kissing you, complimenting you, and telling you how much he loves you. It’s never just about pleasure to him, it’s about that connection that you get during and after.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he was single he didn’t really think about it much, especially with his high pace job that kept him on the go most of the time. Now if he has to be away from you he can’t help himself, might even ask for nude photographs to be securely sent to him. (There is no way he will let that kind of thing get out)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I mentioned a breeding kink but that isn’t the only kink our seemingly sweet innocent lad enjoys participating in. Another one he engages in is spanking, and possibly even a daddy kink underlying. Try calling him Daddy, see what happens. ;)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Mostly in the privacy of your bedroom, or hotel rooms depending on where he is that week. (If he keeps working, he will bring you with him everywhere. It would be a requirement, even if it breaks policy.)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Honestly, the most sensual moment to him is any time you touch his shoulder, even if it was absentmindedly. The soft gesture really gets him in the mood to worship your body, not to mention the ground you walk on. ;)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nothing with intense pain, he has gone through enough in his life that he doesn’t want to cause harm to anyone else. Would try a little wax play, or the like if you wanted though, as long as it doesn’t really harm you in the end.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

At first he felt a little awkward when you would get down on your knees for him, or offer to give him a blowjob. However after reassuring him that you don’t mind doing it, he gets really into it when you do it for him. Ultimately he is a giver, so he will truly enjoy returning the favor, or just offering whenever the two of you have down time. SIT ON HIS FACE!

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Mostly slow and sensual, but after a really bad or rough day he will plow you into the mattress until you can’t go anymore. It’s a very therapeutic way for him to relieve the stress that his life is filled with on a daily basis.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Spencer usually wants to take his time with you, not being one for rushing. That’s not to say that he won’t be able to hold back from the thrill of taking you someplace while others around you have no idea what is about to happen.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

For the most part he would try most anything you asked him, unless it had a chance of affecting his job or reputation too negatively.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Definitely can go for a few rounds, but can’t exactly go all night like some can. That is not to say that you won’t finish multiple times before he is finished with you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Spencer will buy all the toys you want, knowing how they can seriously stimulate intimacy in the bedroom. Only the best however, and trust that he has looked up everything about what is on the market.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Doesn’t really do the teasing, but responses VERY well to being teased, or challenged in anyway.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Usual grunts and groans, will likely tell you multiple times how lucky he is to have you. Praising you intermittently, the words just falling from his tongue in the moment.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Wants to watch you masturbate with the toys he buys you, demanding a demonstration whenever a new one is purchased. Watching you use what he gets you really gets him off, and will even sometimes help you use it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I would say a bit above average on length, and average thickness.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Average sex drive, especially when he starts dating you. Before he didn’t really think about it all that much so it didn’t affect him as much.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Absolutely would not fall asleep until you are taken care of, even if he is exhausted beyond belief. You are his number one priority.

#yandere criminal minds #criminal minds yandere #spencer reid x reader #yandere spencer reid #Anonymous

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chayacat · 3 years

Text

Devil’s Sweet Star (26)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut

***

When you're a journalist, you have to know a lot of things. The most important thing in this business is neutrality of course. Even if the temptation to give his opinion is strong, a journalist must remain neutral in all circumstances. He must then have good source and good contact. A good source is even essential to get a good scoop. And having good contact in the field makes it easier. But if there is one thing a journalist must have... It's cold-blooded.

And luckily for Wilhelm, Danny has A LOT of composure. Oh, how many times did he dream of sticking anything in his skull? how many times did he dream of burning, drowning, skinning, dismembering him and what else do I know? Far too much to remember. and every time he dreamed of it; Danny took an indescribable pleasure in it. he would have liked to spend his day with you, not to move from the bed, your little body so fragile in his arms ... Unfortunately, you both work, and if the prospect of going to the police station does not enchant him basically, seeing Wilhelm's face early in the morning, did not help either. And as if that wasn't enough, Wilhelm was in a bad mood. Has he been in a good mood at least once in his life? There's a good chance he won't.

Luckily, Mattew and Melina were there. They're the only ones, with you of course, that Danny will never kill. It's rare to be off the Ghostface hunting board. You can thank God for your luck. But that doesn't mean he won't get revenge in bed. And that you will not escape, you can be sure. Wilhelm was chatting "calmly" with his officers while our trio of journalists sat down working a little further away.

“That's bullshit! There must be a connection between this story and McKellan's murder! They are accused of fraud on a national scale and coincidentally one of the suspects dies! And as luck would have it, Horace Hoggins threatens him three f***ing days before the murder!” said Wilhelm shouting and striking the table.

“Yes, but the modus operandi is too similar to Ghostface's. What if it was really him that he killed him? Or he hired him. But I can't see the "Ghost of Roseville" playing mercenaries.” Said one of the officers.

“Hoggins has money. He could hire any mentally ill person to do the job. After all, we don't know who we actually see in this city. Sometimes the most honest citizen can be the greatest criminal.” replied another one.

“And then reproduce the modus operandi of Ghostface is not very complicated if you have all the necessary equipment to leave no trace. And that, Hoggins can provide.” said the third one.

Danny bit his lips inwardly about it. Copying his modus operandi? not complicated? No criminal even thinks about going that far! Even the bloodiest, or the craziest, would have made a mistake! Danny is the mixture of the two, and yet you never suspect him because he never left any trace, you idiots! But he has to hold back... it was his plan to get Hoggins charged. He must stick to it, and remain calm.,

“Well, he needs to relax a little, inspector... He's going to end up having a heart attack. But hey I can understand, he wants to bring justice to Roseville.” said Melina.

“Yes, but in the meantime, the boss, he's very nice but he's not the one who has to face Wilhelm's nerve attacks... Why did it have to fall on us?” said Mattew, lying on the table.

“Simply because we published this article. Now we can't go back.” responds Danny by putting his glasses back on properly, while looking at his laptop. It was the one the boss gave him so he could store his work. He had a personal one but I do not draw you on what it contains ... You're smart enough to know that.

He looked at all the pictures he had taken in his job as a journalist and a big smile was on his face when he found something to incriminate Hoggins. It is true that he had spied on him at his home that day. And it's like a day or two before Hoggins threatened McKellan. It's perfect.

“Wilhelm. You should come and see this. Maybe I have something for you.” Said Danny.

“If it's to waste my time Olsen I swear I'll put you in jail in the second that comes. Then it's better for you that your find advances the investigation.” respond Wilhelm annoyed before advancing towards Danny.

“Oh, I'm sure you'll like what I have in front of me. When the "scandal" broke out, my boss asked me to take pictures of Hoggins. Spy on him if you prefer. And I remember that a few days before he threatened McKellan... Mr. Hoggins was with someone at his house.”

“... I should arrest you for violation of a private property Olsen... But these photos are important evidence. I would be curious to know what this man who was chatting with Hoggins that day will tell us... and given his face, this man is not a saint. it pisses me off to tell you that but... good job Olsen. Print me these photos so that we can add them to the evidence board.” Replied Wilhelm looking at the photo seriously before leaving the room to get some coffee.

Danny smiled inwardly in front of Wilhelm's face. it's so good to see this bastard feel compelled to thank Danny for helping him. Even if, in truth, Danny was directing him on a false trail. But in the end, everyone will win, Danny even more. Once again, he will escape all suspicion. And his pleasure will be even greater, when he announces to Wilhelm that Hoggins had nothing to do with the story in the end. It's going to ruin his career and that's all he deserves. And then... he will begin his descent into hell. Which will end sooner or later on Ghostface’s knife. Danny does not yet know what he will do to Wilhelm, but he is sure of one thing; He'll love to slaughter him. It doesn't matter how.

Wilhelm returned a few minutes later with his coffee and the photos Danny had printed in the meantime. He put down his coffee to hang the pictures on the board. Then took his cup back to sip coffee.

“Ok. Thanks to Olsen, I'm pissed off to say it, we know Hoggins was talking to this man a day or two before the threats. Which means that long before he threatened him, he was carrying out his plan. We have to find this man and question him! search our entire police registry. His head tells me something.” said Wilhelm.

“Yes Sir!” responds the three officers before leaving. Wilhelm, Danny, Mattew et Melina were now alone in the room.

“You still here? You don't have to do anything else?” replied Wilhelm, looking at the trio.

“Always so kind, we just gave you a boost in your investigation, I point out, you could be nicer at least.” said Mattew.

“You may have helped me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sympathize with snoops. Olsen is already lucky that I don't arrest him to be entering on private property because he took the right pictures. So now you can go and do your snoops somewhere else! I'll call you when I have news. Get out of the way!”

“Ok, ok, we leave. See ya later, inspector.” said Melina before leaving the police station with Danny and Mattew. Once outside, she couldn't help but grumble. " What a dirty jerk. We help him move forward in the investigation and he treats us like that? Frankly next time, he's going to get fucked.”

“Forget it. We did our part, now it's up to them to do theirs. Anyway, he has to work with us until the end, so we're going to have to be patient. He will be happy to have solved this murder, and we will be free to avoid him... until Ghostface's next murder.” respond Danny calmly, even if in his mind, he wanted to slice Wilhelm's jugular.

“Yes, you're right. So, what do we do? Are we investigating on our side? Or are we going back to the paper?”

“Wilhelm doesn't have us at the right side, if we start snooping around a little too much in his investigation, you can be sure he's going to put us in the most disgusting cells in the prison.” Said Mattew worried.

“Mattew's right, we'd better not pissed off the inspector. Even if I feel like he doesn't need much at the base to piss him off. He said he'll let us know when he gets information, let's trust him, for once. I'm going home for my part. I need to work quietly right now.” Said Danny.

“Say instead, you want to see your sleeping beauty. How's she doing? It’s said that she recruits employees.” ask Melina.

“Yeah. I don't know what it turned out for; I don't think she's made up her mind yet. And then with Ghostface hanging around... she feels a little insecure. We plan to live together in the same apartment. Well, I'm on my way. Say hello to the boss for me! See you later!”

Danny got into his van and greeted his colleagues one last time. Once far enough away, a crooked smile appeared on his face. What a beautiful bunch of fools they all make. It's so easy to fool them... It becomes comical by force. They don't need much to believe anything. But as long as it served his interests... it doesn't mind him more than that.

He went home to work calmly as he had said. He still has articles to write. It's hard to be a journalist and a murderer at the same time, it's a very busy schedule, on both sides. He put down his glasses and rubbed his eyes to wake up a little. He then went to his office to admire his hunting board. A big smile was on his face, watching all those people who fell under his blade... And it wasn't over. He did not forget those he had killed in all the other cities... he wondered if he was still wanted there. And he was already thinking about his future victims. The ones he'll kill when he lives in another city. With you.

What to do tonight? go see you for the umpteenth time? certainly. He is tempted to go to see Wilhelm, to finally confront for the first time, Ghostface and the inspector who is stalking him. That would be great! That would be a huge provocation from him! but... you have to be clear-headed. Throwing yourself into the wolf's mouth after all this work... would be a pity to be captured or killed, so foolishly in addition.

“Don't worry Wilhelm... soon we will meet you and me... Ghostface and you should I say. I can't wait to see that day come, just to see your reaction. I'm sure it will be memorable. For now... I'm going to focus on my plan, to make you go crazy. And also... focus on my beautiful angel.” Danny said looking at your picture.

He knew how to play on both charts. Scare you and reassure you about himself at once... He didn't want a coward, but he still had to keep control of you, and if he has to scare you from time to time to remind you who's in charge... then he will. That won't change the fact that Jed will have to disappear. After all... it's just a name. A ridiculous character he invented to disguise himself in people's eyes. Danny Johnson is real compared to Jed. And you will have to accept it, one way or another.

He moved to his computer to work on his articles, which he was to return soon. He couldn't help but think about your idea of recruiting employees for your coffee. He didn't really like the idea, especially if there's a man among your future employees. He might be tempted to seduce you without worrying about the consequences. Let him try once... and he'll lose his hand. Or the leg. Or the head. It depends on Ghostface's level of anger.

He's going to have to watch your employees very closely. At least when you choose them. At the moment that’s not the case. Danny got up for coffee and went back to the office, taking a sip to keep writing. Occasionally he paused, to stretch a little and move, eat and take a shower to have a clear mind. When he writes, nothing can stop him. If he doesn't take a break himself to feed himself or whatever, he'd spend the whole day at his computer, typing his articles. He could have been an author, but he did not have the faith to write books that, over time, would lose meaning and logic, because of the stress and pressure that would set in and grow.

The last glimmers of the sun disappeared on the horizon, leaving the dark but starry sky of the night. Danny typed the last words of his article, before backing it up and getting up to stretch. Once again, he had done a good job. If Carla were still here... he was sure that she would have scolded him for having worked so much without resting. She used to do it when they were together in high school... she would have done so even today. And you would have done the same if you'd been there.

Danny reread the message you sent him during the day, so adorable that it made him smile, a sweet and sincere smile. He grabbed his Ghostface outfit before putting it on, looked in the mirror and smiled, before putting on the mask and leaving out by the window, like he does every night. You were brushing your teeth when Danny came into your house. He walked discreetly to the bathroom and looked at you from the door. You're so adorable in these pyjamas.

“You're brushing your teeth with a child toothpaste? How cute. Just like this outfit for that matter. Do you want me to make you a pretty braid like little girls?” He said, laughing when he saw you spit out the water you had in your mouth by surprise.

“Hahaha... I didn't know you had such a great sense of humor. Given what happened last time it's hard to guess...” You said ironically, pushing him away to get out of the bathroom.

“Oh, but I'm a very funny person when I want to. Hawn, are you still mad at me for that? But in what sense? Because I almost did it without your consent... Or because you wanted to and I held back?” he replied, smiling when he saw your angry face. “You don't have to give me that face, sweetheart. I'm not here to do it again, I told you: I'm going to make you languish. If I'm here, it's because I heard you were recruiting employees... I'm disappointed, I'd think you'd call on me.”

“Like I'm going to ask a lunatic like you. I want to keep my coffee shop open, not shut it up for murder. I guess you're proud of yourself right now, everyone's talking about your achievement on McKellan. You must have enjoyed slaughtering him like that.”

“Obviously! You should have seen that; he was screaming like a chicken and no one could hear him because this fool puts the music to an almost inhuman volume... It was perfect. I confess that to make deer antlers with his legs and arms, it took me a lot of patience and concentration but... The result is only magnificent. the inspector had to vomit his guts...”

“You're making me sick. Unfortunately for you, I don't plan on being alone for very long.” you replied with a smirk.

“Oh! Are you going to live with your little nerd? How cute. I feel sorry for you, he's just working, working and still working. While I... Well, I'd be more available.” Said Danny with a smirk.

“I fully respect his life choice. And I understand that. I would do anything to make sure he could work while taking care of himself. After what he's been through... he deserves to be looked after.”

“Everyone's been through something tragic, sweetheart. I'm one of them. And I'm going to make everyone pay for it. Until my last breath. And if someone hurts you... So there... I can't guarantee I'll leave him in one piece. I know that one day... You'll call on me for that. Everyone has a dark side to the bottom of their heart; it only takes one click to bring it out. Even the most beautiful angel can't escape it. I'm going to let you sleep... You've had a rough day. As for me, I still have work to do. Goodbye, sweetheart. Have a beautiful dream.

Danny sent you a kiss before disappearing out by the window like every night. He knows that one day you will ask him to kill someone who will hurt you. Or at least you'll make him understand. And on that day, he will be like a knight obeying his queen. Patience and composure are necessary.

It’s only a matter of time.

***

(This little stay at my friend's home made me feel good! I was able to clear my mind a little and now I'm on the attack for the next chapters to come! Don't hesitate to ask me questions or other, I'll be there to answer you! In the meantime, it's time for my brain to rest! Have a great weekend to you all! See ya!)

#dbd fanfic #dbd #dead by daylight #Ghostface #danny johnson #jed olsen

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andromedaslover · 3 years

Note

Hi hello! Im super awkward with talking about my special interests but i saw your post and wanted to try.

So um I really really really love the Guild Hunter book series and the Psy Changeling book series (same author, Nalini Singh)

They are scifantasy romance novels that have really good world building and character depth and like all the characters feel very realistic and the emotional depth is so very satisfying.

They are a lil hard for some people to read or get into because a lot of the books delve into like trauma, mental illness and i guess hurt/comfort type stuff.

The books always have a happy ending and no*cliffhangers (*except for one book in the guildhunter series).

Ive managed to get my parents to start reading the Psy Changeling series and they both really like it but they are only halway through the series so i cant talk to much with them for fear of spoiling it.

I think my favourite of the two series is the guild Hunter series in particular because its grittier and deals with like immortality.

Ah right so each series is based in a triumvirate world. Psy (people with mind powers), Changeling (people who can turn into animals), and humans make up the PsyChangeling world. Then Angels, Vampires and Humans make up the Guild Hunter World.

The PsyChangeling books tend feel a lot warmer to me, mainly cause theres less gore/violence overall(though its still there sometimes). Whereas the guild hunter series kinda scratches my itch for like immortal stories with like horror and stuff.

The romance focus is also a lil different between the series too. PC is always a different pairing each time, whereas GH has gone back to the main pair many times.

The books are written from the perspective of many different characters, so like the perspective of each of the main pairing respectively but then also the perspective of like the antagonist or the mentor or the big bad of the series. It really fleshes out the world even more and helps put into perspective the events that happen in the stories.

Also also!! The latest book in the GH series was just released last week and features an mlm pairing which were kinda hinted at/were being built up to in previous books. And it was very good!

Shes written gay characters in previous books but they were side characters so this was like a super big thing. Though most angels/vampires would technically be bi/pan within th GH world as she has written that with immortality its a bit silly to limit yourself to just one gender and she consistently writes hot characters being attractive to both men and women.

Anyway those were always still m/f pairings so doing an m/m pairing, especially one that everyone in the fandom has been asking about cause of all the hints and subtext, is like super duper cool. I was like really anxious i was just reading too far into the interactions or like romanticising a wellwritten friendship (for fear of being hurt if the two didnt get together) that im just so very very very happy.

Anyway um thats a lot of words, its cool if you dont read all of the words im just so happy to have been able to talk about it

Hope youre having a good day!

ahh thank you so much for telling me about the GH and PC book series!! its so cool that the author finally let the mlm couple be together, its so rare that a queer relationship that’s hinted at be made canon.

i’m a really big reader so ill have to check these books out!! im not huge on fantasy cause i have 2 braincells already working overtime trying to comprehend THIS world, but i do indulge in it from time to time! i personally love realistic YA (think All the Bright Places or It’s Kind of a Funny Story).

#special interests!#i absolutely love reading these so never be afraid to send them in!#special interests asks!

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luxshine · 3 years

Text

The Great Supernatural Rewatch Project - Salvation

I started writting this in the middle of season 13 but RL and work and some mental health issues made me take a step back from fandom in general and well, I was also fearing this would be an unending job since the series JUST.KEPT. GOING.

However, now that the series is done (And omg, what a clusterfuck that was. My tallies are going to go insane if I get there) and thus there’s an ending in sight, I will do my best to finish season 1, and try and get the rest of the seasons in a more timely manner. Say, before they do the inevitable reunion and ignore the last episode completely.

(I’m going to be honest, part of the problem was that Supernatural used to be SO good back then, and when I see the new episodes I weep a bit inside. I can’t believe they were so much better at creating story arcs when they weren’t TRYING to create story arcs)

Of course, now we all know that Dean’s plots in general will not have a happy ending no matter what, and that makes that particular tally bittersweet. But there are STILL people who claim that nope, Dean was never mistreated by the writers and well, Jack damn it, I am not going to let that claim go without bringing numbers to the table. Hopefully, it won’t take me 15 years to finish (Because by then, I would be the only one caring I guess)

In any case, last lap for Season 1 and we begin with Salvation.

General stuff

A specific reason for me having rage quitted this episode in particular for so long: For some stupid copyright thing with Netflix, they don’t have Carry On My Wayward Son as the song for the final recap –at least in Netflix Latam. And Supernatural without Carry On My Wayward Son is no Supernatural. So I had to hunt my DVDs. Then my computer DVD player died. Then I decided to make 5 webcomics at the same time. THEN I decided to start doing illustration works, and three other projects and let’s just say I am a bit of a workaholic and leave it like that as the rest is not SPN-related.

Ahem.

Funny thing about the Road so Far –you know, besides being a LOT shorter than the ones we’re getting now- is that it focuses a lot more on DEAN at the beginning, while if you watch the show, well, we know most of those Dean scenes come from MoW episodes and not the actual mytharc. Another interesting thing is that if one believes those things to be chronological, it makes it as if the Colt had been with the brothers for a lot longer than half an episode, and that Sam’s issue with the visions is not that recent. Edition Magic everyone! Also, omg, they were babies when the series started, and how WEIRD is to see John looking at them with pride and smiling at Dean at some points.

Anyway, the recap and the epicness that is Carry On my Wayward Son ends and we start the actual plot.

Hello Pastor Jim. Goodbye Pastor Jim. And here Supernatural begins the long, long tradition of killing characters who could’ve been useful later on, and more importantly, that could’ve been the boys’s support system later on. While here it’s understandable since we need to show how dangerous and vicious Meg is –ah, irony that in about 8 seasons people will be rooting for her Redemption- it also makes the Hunters kind of useless. I mean, he has all that weaponry and only uses a knife? Sigh. Really, a waste. Pastor Jim as a concept was really intriguing –and I don’t think we’ve heard of any other hunter who was also a priest. Funny, when we have so many demons free now. There’s also the fact that when Pastor Jim claims that she can’t be in the church because it’s hallowed ground, she replies that “That might work with the minor leagues, but not with her” and I wonder… did we ever got a demon that couldn’t enter a church? Because right now out of the top of my head I can’t remember, and yet Pastor Jim was surprised but later no one seems to think it weird there were signs of demonic activity around his body. Another sign that, as engaging as the series was, once we start digging the world building, things fall apart very quickly.

Actually, if I may digress for a bit, here we have the very first look at Supernatural´s second biggest problem: killing support characters that may have been useful lately. Here it is because Kirkpe had this weird idea that Hunting would never be glamorized by the show/fandom and it would be a completely miserable and lonely existence. He also didn’t think that the series would survive past season 2. So, ok, killing the guy we only knew by throw away lines didn’t seem so bad. By season 13 every single recurring character had died at least once –and there were petitions to bring back I think every one of those who haven’t come back- it’s a big problem.

As I restarted writing, I also realized that the mere existence of Pastor Jim and his room of awesome research and weapons creates a problem in the future about the Men of Letters because… ok, so ONE member of the clerigy knew enough about demons and stuff to be a hunter and have THE Hunter as his main contact (John Winchester was sort of a legend back then. And he had also fell out of contact with many others so the fact that he and Pastor Jim were still friendly? Kind of interesting), but what about the rest? Did the Vatican have any contact with the British men of Letters or the American ones? And if so, what the hell did they think when suddenly ALL the Men of Letters disappeared? Ok, so that’s a lot of stuff that doesn’t matter right now as it won’t actually exist until much, much, MUCH latter, but see what I mean when I say that they didn’t plan anything and the lack of a series bible hurts the show more than it helped it thrive? I am realizing right now I could write a whole treaty on the Men of Letters and their non-relationship with hunters ONLY using this cold beginning and the Henry Winchester episode.

But this is not the time for that, so we get our title card and a very, VERY young Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

We move to John who is explaining off camera everything he knows about Yellow Eye´s plan. We can tell it´s not much as he thinks it came out of hibernation and that the whole attacking families is part of a cycle, but back then it was impressive how much he had managed to find out about this demon. We also know that it attacks exactly when the baby in the house is six months old, which brings us to this little jewel:

JOHN It starts in Arizona, then New Jersey, California. Houses burned down to the ground. It's going after families, just like it went after us.

SAM Families with infants?

JOHN Yeah. The night of the kid's six-month birthday.

SAM I was six months old that night?

JOHN Exactly six months.

SAM So basically, this demon is going after these kids for some reason. The same way it came for me? So Mom's death...Jessica. It's all because of me?

DEAN We don't know that Sam.

SAM Oh really? Cause I'd say we're pretty damn sure Dean.

DEAN For the last time, what happened to them was not your fault.

SAM Right. It's not my fault but it's my problem.

DEAN No it's not your problem it's our problem!

Now, in the following seasons we will know that yes, it was ALL about Sam. But right now, the characters and the viewers don´t know that. We know that a lot of families were killed by the demon (That at this point was still “The demon” and wouldn´t become Azazael until later), and that he doesn´t take the children. So… how did Sam leap from “this demon attacks families with 6 month old children” to “It´s all about ME!”? He even ignores that Dean and John lost Mary for his last line, when he decides it´s his problem and not their problem. Also, and this is important for the “Dean is the most awful person to Sam” crowd… Dean immediately tells Sam that no, it´s not his fault. While he could harbor some ill feelings against Sam –and demon Dean, 8 seasons later, will voice them- at this point he is 100% on Sam´s side. There’s also a sideway glance from John to DEAN when Sam claims that everything is about him, and then I wonder exactly why, if John knew all about the fact that the demon chased six month old children specifically, he never resented Sam over it. One would think that given John’s love for Mary and deep desire to revenge, Sam would really be the outcast and the one only treated like a soldier (as he claims he was, but not really as we’ve seen), instead of Dean who was completely blameless in the whole thing.

(Also, this is the first time we see that Azazael´s plan didn´t make much sense IF we believed that Kirkpe had everything planned. But that´s a discussion for another time)

Anyway, John interrupts the argument to explain that while he has no idea what the demon is after (Another thing that later would be contradicted as he knew Sam had powers), but that he has managed to figure out his pattern of attack to the point that it even repeated it for Jessica’s killing (Even if much, much later, we’ll learn that it wasn’t Azazael the one who killed her, and Demons would completely forego the signs when attacking. Have I mentioned I miss the times when the myths made sense?) and the three of them pack up for their first real hunt together as they decide they will save the next baby on the demon’s list, in a town named Salvation.

Important thing to note: when John recites the demon signs, Dean immediately replies “that happened in Lawerence”. He remembers, quite clearly, what happened a week before his mother died even if logistically, at his age? He wouldn’t care nor notice. Sure, he remembers his mom’s death because that was traumatic. But random cow deaths before that? Weird show.

If Sam noticed or not the signs before Jessica died, we don’t know. John is the one who points out they happened.

After two gorgeous road shots where we see John’s truck being followed by Baby (yet another thing we lost, John’s truck. I know we needed to have the guys together all the time, but man, if Sam had inherited it, they would’ve been able to cover more terrain at times, have double the arsenal and maybe not being identified by everyone and their leviathan in season 7, but I digress), and just entering Salvation John stops, obviously spooked by something. As Dean stops behind him, they find out that Pastor Jim is dead, and John got a call from another hunter named Caleb to tell him. They assume it may be the demon they’re chasing, or maybe another demon that was looking for Pastor Jim specifically but that last theory is not very probable.

Here I have to pause to applaud Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s acting, as you can practically FEEL John’s despair at knowing an old friend of him died, and that HE was probably the cause for that death. A Winchester trait, of course, blaming themselves for everything bad that happens in their world, but unlike Sam’s early outburst, here it seems far more desperate. Of course, JDM had a lot more experience than Jared at that point, but I really wanted to make a note of it because we lost a LOT of that characterization for John, where he actually WORRIED about people and not just the hunt. Even as he decides the plan for finding out what baby the demon will take in a week, we can see him broken and confused. So much that while Sam calls him “sir” when receiving orders, Dean continues the conversation by calling him “Dad”.

John then declares that this ends now, obviously feeling responsible for what happened to his friend. A long shot from the flanderized man we’d hear about in future seasons who was infamous for letting his hunting partners die without so much as a second glance.

Also, and not to be mean to the writers, but in their endless accidentally making Sam unsympathetic, they made him say that there were too many children in the county that could be a victim and that it would take forever to check all of them. While I KNOW the intent was to make clear that they had a deadline of one week, it comes out weirdly as “I don’t want to do the footwork.” Seriously, writers should be careful with that.

Actually, let’s dissect that. Because I just thought of two ways they could’ve fixed it AND give us more info.

JOHN Now we act like every second counts. There's two hospitals and a health centre in this county. We split up, cover more ground. I want records. I want a list of every infant that's going to be six months old in the next week.

SAM Dad that could be dozens of kids. How do we know which one's the right one?

JOHN We check em all that's how. You got any better ideas?

SAM No sir.

So, first way to make Sam not look that bad: Give the line to Dean. I wouldn’t like it specially, but hey, he’s the sidekick, not the hero, and so far he has only wanted to bail on ONE hunt because he wasn’t sure it was a supernatural hunt so he’d be better standing than Sam in that regard.

Second way: Make Sam say that YES, he has a better idea. Because the brothers ALREADY faced Max, so he could say they could look for a baby that was a bit “strange”, like, with poltergeist stuff going around. John could not believe him, but at least Sam would be being proactive.

In any case, they separate as John planned and we see each of them get into the hospital records. We get a glimpse of John’s collection of fake IDs, that include one for a Morgue forensic doctor, then Sam getting a homely nurse giving him files and him taking notes, and Dean… getting flirty with a very hot nurse.

And I make a point of the “Oh, look, Dean is an irresponsible womanizer” trope because once again the writers shoot themselves in the foot by showing the opposite of what they were telling (And no, this time I can’t blame it on Jensen’s acting and refusal to look at his female co-stars without respect).

WOMAN Hi. Is there anything I can do for you?

DEAN (smiling) Oh God yes.

She smiles and looks down.

DEAN (Holding up his ID) Only I'm uh....working right now, so...

The writers here make us remember that a) Dean is AMAZINGLY charismatic, as the woman IS flattered and seems interested, and b) That he will NOT dump his work for a quickie. We don’t even get a “maybe later” that could make him look as if he was really into her. It’s just that he flirts naturally, or at least, this is what we can infer now, as so far he hasn’t had any one night stand fling. The one time we saw him have a sexual encounter in the middle of a hunt was with an ex-girlfriend.

And again I have to wonder what was Sera Gamble’s intention with those scenes as yes, this was written by the same team as Faith, another episode where Sam’s good intentions tend to have a darker side, and gave Dean some amazingly cool scenes.

We don’t know what Dean says to the woman, as we cut back to Sam, coming out of the hospital just in time to have a very convenient vision of a woman, a nursery and a fire. Thankfully, the vision also comes with the useful audio hint of a train passing by, so Sam gets out his map and starts checking where that could be, which leads him to the house in his vision.

And by this point, we know we’re in the right track and this is an important Myth Arc episode, because Sam only has multiple visions in Myth Arc episodes, and he has one the moment he steps in front of the house in said vision. The gods of convenience smile upon him as right then and there a woman pushing a pram comes by, and he manages to talk to her, all friendly like by pretending to having just moved. Then Sam learns the woman’s name is Monica, her baby is Rosie, and Rosie is just six months old, exactly to the day.

Also, that she’s a very quiet baby and that it sometimes seems as if she was reading your mind. Oh, and that Monica really is blind to suspicious men asking her about her family with a face that reads “Oh shit, this is bad”.

Now, HERE is where the whole “five year myth arc” story falls completely. I mean, we already knew it was pretty unlikely it was real, given Kirkpe’s original interviews, but the mere existence of Rosie contradicts every single future story beat. Because if SHE has powers before Azazael goes into her house, then it means that the babies he was hunting didn’t get powers because of him, just that his blood either connected them (hence Sam’s very specific visions), made said powers far more powerful (quite likely), or made them a little bit more prone to violence/prideful behavior. All of those possibilities match with the plan of “raising” a new King or Queen of Hell, that would be faithful to Azazael, but are a bit iffy on the “finding Lucifer’s vessel” thing. Especially since we later learn that the Angels were also helping, and all Hell knew that Lucifer’s vessel HAD to come from the Winchester/Campbell bloodline due to Cain and Abel being the roots of said bloodline, and later pretty much everyone knew Sam was Lucifer’s vessel so the whole targeting a ton of kids, in particular after Mary’s death, is kinda weird.

Oh, Lux, you will say, it is because he wanted to hide his true intentions! No one knew that Sam had been feed demon blood!

Except that the important parties, namely Heaven and Hell, did. Michael had Heaven convinced of his orders, so even if a rogue angel found out that they were speed running the Apocalypse, said angel could be killed. And any demon who was against getting Lucifer back on top would be smart enough to keep quiet so, why the secrecy?

And again, ok, I buy the original demon blood kids being important to “hide” Lucifer’s vessel but… Rosie? What good would it do to Azazael’s plan to have a psychic 4 year old when Lucifer rose? Was “little four year old girl” a good match against a grown up hunter? What was Azazel thinking, if that was the plan all the time?

Now, I want to make clear this doesn’t make THIS episode or the Season-myth arc bad. This original “Boy King of Hell” storyline WAS good. It had a lot of potential, made sense for Sam and since it was before the days of the eternal “What is wrong with Sam?” seasons, there was no boredom of a repeat. It also set a very good question of what made a monster a monster, which would be explored a bit more in Season 2. And it was long before we realized Dean having a myth arc was a pipe dream, so there was no issue there either. It made sense.

But the fact that the writers kind of forgot about everything I just pointed out with Rosie’s scene to try and weld this to the “Heaven vs. Hell” storyline in season 4, and then just promptly forgot because Sam’s powers were then firmly connected to Azazael’s blood so they never came up again and even worse, we never find another psychic kid that could’ve been feed blood by Azazael THIS year that John was chasing him? (Since we know there were no other survivors from Sam’s generation, and later we have a scene that proves that there were no previous generations to Sam’s), it's kind of weird. Personally, I dunno about you, but maybe a return to this storyline in season 6 would’ve been a lot better than we got. Maybe.

By the way, I am not counting the Boy King of Hell story arc as a dropped plot for Sam yet, as we’re going to keep with this at least until season 3. Yes, now we know it didn’t go anywhere, but at the time, and for these episodes in particular, it was THE myth arc of Supernatural. So it can’t be counted as dropped plot yet.

In any case, Sam goes and tells John and Dean about his vision and… oh, boy do we have to move John’s reaction to Emotional Violence.

It’s not good.

But before he can do more damage to Dean’s psyche, Sam gets a call from our favorite demon, Meg. Even if he doesn’t recognize her voice immediately which is weird because a) he did throw her off a window and one would think that makes a girl memorable, and b) it’s not as he knows that many girls who would call him, despite Dean’s best efforts to get him a new girl.

Meg dismisses Sam and asks for John. She makes clear that she is not playing, that she knows he has the Colt and that he will kill every single person who has ever helped John unless he gives it to her that same day at midnight. And to the brothers’ surprise, John accepts those terms (Unfortunately not before we loss Caleb too. I have a lot less interest in Caleb as a character given that he has exactly half a line in the whole show, but it’s still it’s sad to see a guy so defiant even in the face of death go so soon).

Meg also points out that John having the Colt is a “declaration of war” which is interesting as it sort of implies that if he hadn’t gotten it, then the demons would leave him and the brothers alone. And I find that incredibly funny since… no they won’t. And Azazael would’ve been ok if Sam kept the gun anyway, given why they really wanted and once again I am putting holes on the idea that this was planned from the start, aren’t I?

In any case, John declares that Meg is a demon “or is possessed by one” which… ok? First and only time we get the possibility of a demon not using a meat suit. I don’t think this is a mistake, because after all, this is back before the guys faced demons in a normal basis so they could believe that they had their own bodies besides the ones they possessed (And, more importantly, before there was a retcon that made the brothers face and know about demons since pretty much ever). To be completely fair, as much as I love Jimmy and the whole Lucifer arc once it started to make sense… I would’ve been ok if vessels weren’t needed. It added a lot of complications and ended up making the brothers actual serial killers.

Ahem.

After that little gem of wisdom that will be ignored forever, John declares that he will be taking the gun to Meg to avoid more killing and we get another questionable line for Sam. And I am curious as to how to tally it as it’s the opposite of him wanting to leave the hunt, but it’s not that nice either:

DEAN What do we do?

JOHN I'm going to Lincoln. DEAN What? JOHN It doesn't look lilke we have a choice. If I don't go, a lot of people die, our friends die.

SAM Dad, the demon is coming tonight. For Monica and her family. That gun is all we got, you can't just hand it over.

I mean, yes, it is true that the demon is coming for Monica (Well, actually, he’s coming for Rosie, the baby, but I will let that slip pass. Sam is not interested in married ladies), and that with the gun they can kill the demon but it’s not all they’ve got. By this time, Sam has already had his big hero moment when he exorcised a plane in free fall so they could do that, then chase the demon again and then kill it.

But what is jarring is how he hears “a lot of people die, OUR FRIENDS die” and he goes “yeah, whatever, we have a mission to fulfill”.

Which is precisely what later episodes will tell us John used to do, and was the reason why John was not exactly liked by the general hunter population. And at the same time, it’s an eerie reminder of Wendigo, where Sam is willing to let innocents die (his family friends, in this particular case, just as he heard Caleb choke on his own blood) in order to get his way (revenge on the demon that killed Jess. NOT revenge on the demon that killed his mom, since at this point, Sam is still on the “I never knew that woman” train of thought).

Sure, his mind is in the hunt, and that’s commendable because yes, in the long run, killing Azazael would save more innocents (And probably stop the Apocalypse, not that Sam or the writers at that time know it), but it is still strange to see our nominal hero simply not care for his friends’ lives. I mean, at this point WE don’t know about Bobby, so the closest to a parental figure that is not John that Sam had was Pastor Jim and he just DIED.

Worst part is, this could be solved really easy: Just have DEAN be the one who voices the complaint, and have “empathic” Sam mumble that there has to be a way to save everyone (Which, of course, John will mention in a second). It would make Dean look bad, sure, but we’ve been told once and again that Dean never, EVER goes against John plans. Which… not true, ut we will talk about that later. The scene continues, and John declares that he will go to Meg alone, with a fake Colt and while Dean thinks that that won’t work, Sam has a different complaint:

DEAN Yeah but for how long? What happens when she figures it out?

JOHN I just...I just need to buy a few hours, that's all.

SAM You mean for Dean and me. You want us to stay here, and kill this demon by ourselves?

JOHN No Sam. I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home. I want....I want Mary alive. It's just....I just want this to be over.

And oh, boy. Do this four lines again hold so much weight.

First, once again, Dean seems to be worried for John (logically, he’s their dad), while Sam is making the weirdest line in the universe sort of work because he’s complaining that John is trusting them to kill the demon, something HE wants to do and not four seconds ago was saying they had to do, as if it was John shifting HIS job to Sam. Seriously, I don’t want to think the worst of Sam but when you take out Jared’s acting, the text doesn’t do the younger Winchester’s any favors.

And finally… John’s lines that encompass pretty much Dean’s philosophy in the following seasons. “I want to stop losing people we love” is pretty telling, but what comes next? He actually WANTS Sam to go back to college and not worry about the Supernatural. He actively agrees that Dean doesn’t have a home, and WANTS Dean to have one. It’s as close as love as we’ll see from John to Dean in Season 1, and it hurts. It hurts because we can tell he knows he won’t be there to see it… and now, in hindsight with the finale having aired, we also know Dean didn’t get that. (And to be fair, this is the John who did deserve Heaven. Not the flanderized version we’d get in the future)

Although, ironically, Mary got to be alive again, so… One out of three?

(No, seriously, it’s obvious the writers didn’t even remember this speech when Season 12 hit, much less Season 15)

Ahem.

Dean is sent to get a fake Colt, while Sam and John wait for him. If they talked about anything, we don’t know, but when they exchange guns, Dean voices what we all know is true:

DEAN You know this is a trap don't you. That's why Meg wants you to come alone?

JOHN I can handle her. I got a whole arsenal loaded. Holy water, Mandaic, amulets...

DEAN Dad... JOHN What? DEAN Promise me something. JOHN What's that. DEAN This thing goes south just...get the hell out. Don't get yourself killed all right, you're no good to us dead. JOHN Same goes for you. (There is a long pause) All right listen to me. They made the bullets special for this colt. There's only four of them left. Without them this gun is useless. You make every shot count.

SAM Yes sir.

JOHN Been waiting a long time for this fight. Now it's here I'm not gonna be in it. It's up to you boys now. It's your fight, you finish this. You finish what I started. Understand?

Again, I wish they remembered all they had to get rid of demons before, you know, killing everyone willy-nilly. I mean, I don’t even think I know what Mandalac IS but hey, John says it works, it works. And once more, Dean gets a line that makes clear he is the empathic, loving brother, when it wouldn’t have hurt Sam to say it. In fact, it would make clear that no matter what, he doesn’t hate John. But nope, Sam only acts like the soldier we’re TOLD Dean is, while Dean makes clear that for him, family is more important than revenge (And boy will that come to bite him in the ass later, not in the series, but in this same episode).

Also, I have to admit. When I started this rewatch, John’s final line was just a good moment for John to start letting go of his anger. Now? After that horrid finale? It hurts so, so much. But it hurts more because I KNOW that there’s no way it was intentional. Obviously, Kirkpe didn’t know the series would last 15 years, and I highly doubt Dabb remembered this scene when writing 15x20. But even so, it ends up being Dean’s epitaph. OUCH.

In any case, the Winchester separate again, and we go into act three. Get ready for the feels.

John Winchester hunting alone is a thing of beauty. Seeing him scope the place, check the water tank and immediately think of a plan? Makes me wish Jeffrey Dean Morgan had stayed longer on the show. Sure, John became an asshole, but in this episode he’s still not that bad, we still have no episodes that make clear he didn’t care for Dean, and wasn’t textually abusive. And I am willing to bet that if JDM had stayed, John would’ve evolved more to be a Bobby-like character. But well, What ifs is not why you came to this meta for.

As John is hunting, the brothers are staking out the house were they know Azazael will attack. And while they talk and decide that they have no way to get the family out (In a nice callback to how none of their excuses ever work) we get to this little gem of an exchange:

SAM I wonder how Dad's doing.

DEAN I'd feel a lot better if we were there backing him up.

SAM I'd feel a lot better if he were here backing us up.

Where once again we see where the brother’s priorities lie, and I wonder why the hell the writers ever thought they were writing Sam as an empathic character.

Because yes, Dean is wishing he could be out there helping his Dad, proving that for him, it has always been about the family. Not the hunting, but the protecting. But Sam doesn’t want to protect John. He wants John protecting Them. And helping them in the revenge hunt, not trying to save others.

Sure, we know the brothers are there to save an innocent mother, but John is also saving a ton of hunters and people who, in the past, were nice and open to the family. And it would’ve been so much easier to make Sam look better if he instead had said “I’d feel a lot better if we hadn’t had to separate” or something like that, that proved he saw BOTH missions were important.

Seriously, I do wonder why the writers made these choices, and I wish someone had asked this at cons.

We go back to John, who, really, Is an amazing hunter even if he is a horrible father. Also, I wonder if he got ordained at a web church, in order to be able to sanctify water. That would be such a John Winchester thing to do, and I do wonder why the boys never did it too. ANYWAY, he hands the gun to Meg, and to her ally that came so that we could have a scene to prove the Colt is fake as the ally shoots Meg.

As John says, Meg was lucky the gun was fake. And once again, I do wonder what the plan was if it WAS the Colt. I mean, Meg was Azazael’s second in command. Why would nameless demon risk killing her? Or did he kinow the gun was fake?

In any case, this makes the moment where we can be 100% sure that Meg’s meat suit 1.0 was dead. I mean, she could’ve survived the fall in Shadow, but a bullet to the chest? No way.

We go back to the brothers, and Sam breaks every single law of a procedural show by giving this great speech about how thankful he is to Dean for everything, and how he needs to say that “in case” something happened.

Dean is definitely not impressed and reminds him that the only one dying today is Azazael.

As we see John temporarily escape from Meg and her muscle boy, we go back to the brothers who see the demon omens start up so they get ready for the final fight.

The brothers manage to save Monica and her baby, despite the very understandable interference from Hubbard, the husband (I mean, you would not react nicely to two strangers intruding in your house and yelling to your wife to not go into the nursery room), however, before Sam can shoot Azazel, he disappears into smoke (A really interesting question here is, WHY did Sam wait to shoot and then wasted a bullet, but I digress).

Going completely against M.O, Azazael makes the CRIB burst into flames, but fortunately Dean has already gotten Rosie out of it so the brothers escape the flaming house. While Monica cries her thanks, Sam notices that Azazael is still inside, and tries to go after him, but Dean stops him because he is not going to lose his brother to the fire. By the way, I am not counting “Dean stopping Sam from going into a burning building” as “Dean forcing Sam to do something” since, uh, he was saving Sam’s life and it’s something anyone in Dean’s place would’ve done.

At the same time, we see John getting captured by Meg and her muscle boy because he didn’t think about getting a third escape route (But honestly? That was pretty much a plot necessity. John was HEAVILY prepared for that fight)

Back in the hotel, Dean is worried that John is not answering his calls, while Sam is furious that Dean didn’t let him kill himself by running into a burning house. They have a nasty fight that mirrors the one they had back in the pilot, but since it IS a fight between the brothers, you know the drill. We’re examining it under Violence.

Once Sam calms down, he tells Dean to try calling John again. Unfortunately, it’s Meg who answers and she tells Dean that they’re never seeing their dad again.

And we get the first “To be continued” for the series (Which to be honest, despite all the little continuity mistakes I mentioned here? Is still pretty epic)

Violence

Well, we had to run out of episodes where the brothers don’t fight each other at some point, didn’t we?

This fight, over Sam wanting to kill himself in his search for revenge, is a very neat parallel to the fight they had back in the Pilot, over Sam NOT wanting to even involve himself in the family’s search for revenge. Which I know it’s supposed to be ironic and a show of character growth since now Dean is the one saying that revenge is not worth their lives but… it falls a little bit flat because the reason why Sam is so gung-ho in killing Azazael is, once again, a very selfish one and the way in he expresses it makes it quite clear. (Again, I do wonder if the writers stopped to think about the implications of Sam only getting really into hunting when it was about him or his losses?)

But let’s start at the beginning:

SAM If you had just let me go in there, I coulda ended all this.

DEAN Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life.

SAM You don't know that.

DEAN So what, you're just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?

SAM Yeah. Yeah you're damn right I am.

DEAN Well that's not going to happen, not as long as I'm around.

This right here? Is a nice summary of the relationship of the brothers for the whole series. Sam wants to do something stupid, like, say, running into a burning building, Dean is there to stop him before he hurts himself.

Also, let’s make clear the use of first person by Sam. It’s not “We coulda ended this”, as in the family ending the hunt, but “I coulda ended this”. Again, at this point, not something that is a problem, but considering hindsight, we can see how the writers are completely invested in SAM as a sole main character, and write him as such, while Dean is more of the sidekick.

In any case, the argument continues, still not escalating to violence.

SAM What the hell are you talking about Dean, we've been searching for this demon our whole lives. It's the only thing we've ever cared about.

DEAN Sam I wanna waste it. I do. Okay? But it's not worth dying over.

SAM What?

DEAN I mean it. If hunting this demon means getting yourself killed then I hope we never find the damn thing.

Important thing how Sam apparently forgot he left for four (two) years and wanted out of the family business, now that he is angry and into the revenge thing. It’s not “You’ve been searching for this demon your whole life”, which would’ve been correct AND a logical counterargument against Dean. Before this episode, Sam was supposedly the brother who understood that revenge was a way of living, while Dean is the one who was Daddy’s little soldier. But here, when it actually would matter to the narrative, it is as if Sam’s wishes for a normal life are completely forgotten and it’s Dean the one who understands that there’s more to living than revenge (Which, btw, is consistent through the season despite everyone claiming that Dean needs Sam to keep hunting. All season, Dean has been giving Sam outs, telling him it’s ok to quit)

And of course, Dean here proves that Sam is more important to him than revenge for his mother, as he is willing to never get to kill the demon as long as his family, his brother in particular, survives.

Poor Dean.

SAM That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom.

DEAN You said yourself once, that no matter what we do, they're gone, and they're never coming back.

SAM Don't you say that, not you! Not after all this don't you say that.

DEAN Sam look. The three of us...that's all we have...and it's all I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together man...and without you or Dad....

Unfortunately, script doesn’t quiet convey the scene as there’s a LONG pause between “That thing killed Jess” and “That thing killed Mom”. Enough so that we can believe that Sam is using that second phrase not because he cares (in the Pilot he made clear he didn’t), but to make Dean get on board with the whole “I can kill myself if it means getting revenge” plan. In other words, once again, Sam is weaponizing Mary against Dean, and that is a really nasty habit the younger Winchester never quite shakes out of. Instead, Dean shows how he LISTENED to Sam back in the Pilot and repeats Sam’s words to him on the bridge.

Which is when Sam loses it and pushes Dean against a wall, Dean not defending himself at all, and yells that Dean has no right to say what Sam told Dean the very first hunt they had together after years of separation.

And of course, once Dean mentions their father, Sam starts calming down. NOT when Dean says that he’s barely holding it together, or that he only has them. Just when he mentions their father who is, in Sam’s mind, the one who can help him get revenge.

The fight ends, but Sam never once apologizes for what he said to Dean, nor for the fight. Which, by the way, contradicts his claim that Dean “always has his back”.

Emotional Violence

Whenever we have John on an episode, we’re going to have to talk about emotional violence and I kind of hate that because on one hand, I get how John could’ve been a very tragic figure that loved his sons but still wanted to avenge his wife, and not being the abusive bastard we know and don’t love that much.

When Sam and Dean explain about Sam’s visions, and how they started as nightmares but have grown in intensity, his reaction is quite subdued, but clear. He is not happy, but the problem isn’t the visions –for a man obsessed with the supernatural, his outward reaction to his younger son being a psychic is quite calm- but that they didn’t inform him of what was going on:

JOHN All right. When were you going to tell me about this?

DEAN We didn't know what it meant.

JOHN All right, something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and you call me.

DEAN dumps the coffee jug and cup back on the counter and strides toward JOHN.

DEAN Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad I called you from Lawrence all right? Sam called you when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone? I got a better chance of winning the lottery.

JOHN You're right. Although I'm not too crazy about this new tone of yours, you're right. I'm sorry.

And let’s be clear, John’s anger is not directed at Sam, it’s directed at Dean. “Something like this starts happening to your brother” is not “Something like this starts happening to either of you”. Which is also a show of how good an actor JOHN is in universe because WE know that he knew. Missouri TOLD him point blank that Sam was powerful and that he could have known that John was around during the Home episode. But here, he acts as if this was news to him when he could ALSO have told them what to expect if that happened. (Mind you, I am assuming that Sera Gamble knew or remembered about Home’s script when writing this and didn’t just forget or was unaware that John was supposed to know)

Now, all season, Sam has been complaining and yelling about how John doesn’t answer their calls, doesn’t seem to care what’s going on with them. So it’d be logical and in character for Sam to say something here. But instead is DEAN, Dad’s little soldier, the one we’ve SEEN obeying John without question finally have enough and talk back to his father with some truths. And it’s VERY interesting that his first complain is not that John didn’t care that Dean almost died, but that he didn’t reply when Dean called from Lawrence. One could almost infer that Dean expected John not to care if Dean died, but was honestly hurt that he didn’t care about a case that could’ve involved MARY.

John, surprisingly, sort of agrees. He does say “I’m sorry”, which makes him the Winchester who is quicker to say those words… but he still manages to make a threat against Dean “I am not too crazy about this NEW tone of yours”.

Making it clear that before? Dean never talked back. And John doesn’t like it when his soldiers talk back.

It makes it hard to believe John ever thought of Dean as his son and makes it very clear why Dean never understood Sam’s confidence that Dean was the favored one.

Speeches and Apologies

I considered not including this particular speech, but then I remembered that Supernatural is ALSO famous for their big emotional speeches, and this is Sam’s first, and also, Dean’s first time listening to someone he cares about give him the “I am saying goodbye because I am going kamikaze” speech and after all the drama in season 15, I guess it’s necessary to do some dissection.

It is important that despite all the things that Sam has done to Dean, the words “I’m sorry” are never uttered here.

SAM Dean...ah...I wanna thank you. DEAN For what? SAM For everything. You've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. And ah...I don't know I just wanted to let you know, Just in case DEAN Whoa whoa whoa, are you kidding me? SAM What? DEAN Don't say just in case something happens to you. I don't wanna hear that freaking speech man. Nobody's dying tonight. Not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, you understand me?

This is not a bad “freaking speech”. I understand why Dean didn’t want to hear it, because it is like jinxing the mission (And, let’s be honest, it did), but it’s not a bad speech.

Except that, reading it again, it lacks one important part. Sure, Sam thanks Dean for always being there (Forgetting that, at least three times this season alone, he has accused Dean of not having his back and being unreliable. Which will ALSO be a constant theme in the series’s long run), but he never mentions the times HE did things that would be hard to back up. Which, again, I am not counting as a bad thing against him in this precise moment in time, since he is young, in his roaring roadtrip of revenge, and we’ve only know the brothers for a year, but it is the beginning of a series’ long crutch to make us forgive all of Sam’s sins without him actually doing the work to be forgiven.

On the other hand, it all goes to waste a bit later when Sam starts hitting Dean for the horrible sin of not letting him run into a burning building and kill himself so… it’s not really a “thank you for having my back” speech but a “You better remember, you never fight me and my choices are the best” speech in hindsight. Which… not good on Sam, no.

Double narrative standards

This episode is kind of balanced, except for that little moment where we’re supposed to think Dean is wrong for telling Sam that revenge is not worth their lives. So there’s not much to write in this particular segment.

Final Tally

Ok, back in the saddle. And after all that, I decided not to tally Sam’s little slip about not caring if their loved ones die as long as he gets to kill Azazael. Let me know if you disagree.

The count is still not good on Sam’s side, but as always, you are free to disagree with me, and dm me if you think I missed a tally or I should change one. If your argument is solid and canon based, I will listen to it and may change the numbers.

Numbers (or the TL;DR summary)

(Episode/Total so far)

Times Dean has lied to Sam or to a loved one: 0 / 0

Times Sam has lied to Dean or to a loved one: 0 / 3

Times Dean has been caught in a lie: 0 / 0

Times Sam has been caught in a lie: 0 / 1

Times Dean has hit Sam in anger: 0 / 1

Times Sam has hit Dean in anger: 1 / 4

Times Dean's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 0

Times Sam's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 1

Times Dean has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 0

Times Sam has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 7

Times Dean forced Sam to do something: 0 / 0

Times Sam forced Dean to do something: 0 / 7

Secrets kept by Dean: 0 / 1

Secrets kept by Sam: 0 / 2

Times Dean has blamed Sam for something: 0 / 0

Times Sam has blamed Dean for something: 1 / 4

Times Dean has apologized with words to Sam: 0 / 3

Times Sam has apologized with words to Dean: 0 / 2

Times Dean has respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 7

Times Sam has respected Dean's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Dean hasn't respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Sam hasn't respected Dean's boundaries and / or rules: 0 / 13

Times Dean has made fun of something Sam does or has: 0 / 6

Times Sam has made fun of something Dean does or has: 0 / 31

Times we focus on Dean's needs: 0 / 1

Times we focus on Sam's needs: 1 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Sam: 1 / 7

Filler episodes dedicated to Sam: 0 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 0

Filler episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 4

Arc episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2

Filler episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2

Dean's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 1

Sam's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 2

#Supernatural rewatch project #Salvation #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #not very Sam positive #John Winchester #Season 1 #Season 1 episode 20 #SPN #Supernatural meta

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not-close-to-straight · 4 years

Text

100% Professional (Spideypool) (One)

Previously a KoFi Supporter Fic.

MASTERLIST HERE

*************

Peter doubled checked the address on his phone at least six different times before finally approaching the doorman at the high rise apartment building and clearing his throat.

“Hi. My name is Peter Parker and I am here for an appointment with a resident of your building?"

The doorman looked him over, from the hair Peter had let air dry after a hasty shower, to the scuffed converse on his feet, to the blocky, heavy massage table folded into the bag over Peter’s shoulder.

“Uh--” Peter fumbled into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “I’m a massage therapist, and he said he’d let the doorman know to expect me. The name is Mr. Wade Wilson…” the words trailed off when the doorman swiped a card through the door and swung it open immediately.

“Oh look at that.” Peter chuckled to himself and hefted his bag a little more securely onto his back. “Mr. Wilson’s name literally opens doors, huh?”

“Top floor, end unit.” The doorman informed him, motioning Peter in to the lobby. “Have a nice day, Mr. Parker.”

“Thank you.” Peter tossed the doorman a casual salute, and once inside the lobby, waved at the receptionist as well. “Hi there, I’m going up to Mr. Wilson’s--”

“Top floor, end unit.” The woman didn’t even look up from her paperwork, but she hit a button that buzzed on the other side of the foyer and Peter’s eyebrows raised in surprise when the elevator doors opened automatically. “I’ll let him know you are on your way up. Have a nice day, Mr. Parker.”

“Uh, yes ma’am.” It didn’t feel right to salute this time around so Peter settled for another slightly awkward wave and hustled over to get the elevator before the doors closed, mashing the button for the top floor.

The elevator moved with the sort of silence that only came with very expensive buildings, and even though Peter hadn’t thought he looked terrible when he left his place an hour ago, his reflection in the mirrored elevator walls was…

….well it was less than flattering.

“Great.” Peter groaned and scrubbed his fingers through his hair, trying to calm the wind whooshed fluff into something a little more presentable. “My new client lives on the top floor of an insanely expensive part of town, has a weirdly quiet elevator, a receptionist and door man and I look like Poppy the Troll Princess did my hair. Great first impression."

The movie reference made Peter smile. Harry and Mary Jane’s little girl was a two foot tall red headed terror but Peter had successfully managed to distract her with repeat showings of Trolls while Harry and MJ managed a much needed date night and now, not only was Peter a Troll movie expert, but he was also Megan’s favorite babysitter which was an accomplishment all in itself.

Of course, it was the Troll marathon and babysitting that had kept Peter up half the night, and then he'd overslept and was late to work and late getting home to shower again which had led to being late for this exact moment, where his hair looked like it had been lost a fight with an industrial sized hair dryer and the bags under his eyes were deep enough to pack clothes in.

Wonderful.

The elevator slid to a smooth stop and Peter sighed, picking his bag up and rearranging his expression into something hopefully approaching professional instead of exhausted.

This was a big client. Whoever Mr. Wilson was had paid twice Peter’s usual fee just so he would come by for a meet and greet. Something about Mr. Wilson being a former soldier and having some scars, some pain issues and nerve damage-- he had told Peter over the phone, “I don’t want you to be surprised by anything, so if you’d just come by for an appointment, then we can see if you’re willing to work with me.”

Willing to work with me.

Right. As if Peter would turn down a job when he was still struggling to pay rent most months. Squeezing in extra classes and training for his next level therapy license while juggling a free lance position at the Daily Bugle wasn’t easy and every single penny helped. He needed to pay his phone bill damn it, and if that meant taking the subway clear to the ritzy part of town and hauling his massage table to the top of the building for a meet and greet, that’s exactly what Peter was going to do.

So top floor, end unit it was, and Peter knocked at the door before backing up a few steps to wait for Mr. Wilson to answer. “Twice my usual fee.” Peter told himself, mentally calculating how much of that fee it would cost to get some dinner for his hour long trek back home. “Twice my usual fee just for talking, this will be fine. Twice my usual-- oh, hi!”

He brightened up into a smile when the door swung open. “Hello Mr. Wilson, my name is Peter Parker....”

Oh fuck, Peter didn’t mean to stop talking but there he went stopping, forgetting whatever he was going to say next and making a quiet, wheezing noise instead. “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi.” Mr. Wilson was a few inches over six feet and filling out a fitted long sleeve with enough muscles to make Peter choke, and yet for some reason the man sounded completely uncertain, his smile just this side of anxious. “Um, thanks for coming over.”

“It’s--” Peter raised his eyebrows and made a perfunctory attempt to pull his eyes back inside his head. “Yeah, it’s really not a problem. Wow. Hi.”

“....Hi?” Mr. Wilson adjusted his hat over his head in an obviously nervous gesture. “You alright?”

“Shit.” Peter shook himself and laughed self consciously. “Um, sorry. I promise I’m actually more professional than this. It’s just been a long day already and I dunno what I was expecting when you opened the door but uh... it wasn’t you. Hi.”

“...are you checking me out right now?” Peter couldn’t tell if Mr. Wilson was horrified by the idea or thought it was funny, so he erred on the side of caution and blurted,

“No! I mean yes, but not in a weird way. More like a ‘wow look at all those muscles I definitely know the names of because I’m a professional and went to school for this’.” he nodded emphatically and tried not to feel like a dumb ass. “I was checking you out in-- in that way.”

“Ah.” Mr. Wilson said slowly and Peter mentally screamed at himself to pull it together. “Well then. Would you like to come in?”

“I definitely would.” Moment somewhat salvaged, Peter breathed a sigh of relief and followed Mr. Wilson into the apartment, shutting the door quietly behind him. “Sorry I’m a few minutes late by the way, the subway had a weird glitch and I ended up having to catch a bus and--”

“I’ll give you some extra money for a cab or whatever.” Mr. Wilson said offhandedly. “That’s not a problem, I know this is a long way uptown for you. Sit down where ever you want. Can I get you a drink?”

“No thank you, I have my own water.” Peter pulled a bottle from his bag and sat gingerly on the edge of the nicest leather couch he’d ever seen. “I also brought my table. I know you said you wanted to do a meet and greet this first time around but I’d be happy to... to you know, audition if you’d like. Fifteen or twenty minutes just so you can see how we get along?”

“I’m not worried about how we will get along.” Mr. Wilson sat down across from Peter, holding a package of wipes on his lap which was… well it was weird, but Peter was being paid a lot for this little meet and greet so he was ready to deal with a little weirdness. “So. Mr. Parker. I got your number from an acquaintance of mine--”

“Oh, call me Peter.”

“Alright then.” Mr. Wilson smiled a little, hazel eyes sparking with humor from beneath the brim of his hat. “You can call me Wade. Anyway, Matt Murdock gave me your number and had only great things to say about you. And he emphasized that uh--”

Wade coughed. “--that you are very understanding when it comes to non typical… things. He says he sent a few clients your way that had specific needs and you were really great about it. Real understanding and accommodating.”

“Definitely.” Peter said immediately, thinking about how Matt had an issue with too much pressure on his back, how Jessica Jones refused to be undressed, how Norman Osborn’s illness had warped his muscles and made even light touches painful. “Yes, I have several clients that need a little extra effort and that’s completely fine. I have no problem working around whatever you need.”

“Imagine that, you are professional when you aren’t staring.” Another flash of smile and Peter grinned right back, relieved they’d made it past that initial terribleness and into somewhat more familiar territory. “Alright Pete, so I’ve got scars um-- I told you on the phone there was some nerve damage but the scars are-- okay--”

Wade blew out a deep breath, his shoulders tensing as if he were bracing himself. “I’m just gonna show you, kay?”

“Sure.” Peter encouraged, mystified and perhaps a little nervous. Wade was fully dressed, so it couldn’t be something naked weird, and he had assured Peter at least a dozen times on the phone that it wasn’t like he was missing limbs or had a prosthetic. Just nerve damage and some scars-- how bad could it be? “Yeah, just show me. It’s fine.”

“Kay.” Wade took another one of those deep breaths and took his hat off, then opened the package of wipes and scrubbed at his hands, across his face and down his neck, wiping away what was apparently make up and ….

….oh.

Oh wow.

Wade’s skin was covered in scars, raised lines and darker patches criss crossing his hands, crawling up his neck and spreading across his face to cover his scalp. His skin looked dry, irritated where the ball cap had rubbed uncomfortably and when Wade shifted under Peter’s scrutiny, his face pinched in a grimace as if even that small movement had hurt.

“Staring for a completely different reason now, huh?” Wade tossed the wipes towards the waste basket and spread his hands helplessly. “So I’m um-- yeah. This is-- yep. I uh--” he laughed, but it was an awful, self deprecating sound. “Shit. I think I preferred the way you stared at the door to the way you’re looking at me now.”

“I wasn’t trying to stare.” Peter was on his feet before he even realized he’d moved, crossing over to Wade’s chair and reaching for his hand. “You don’t mind do you? I just want a closer look.”

“I--” Wade shrugged helplessly. “Sure?”

“Your nerve damage.” Peter ran his fingers lightly over a scar that crossed Wade’s palm, and then up to one at his wrist that disappeared beneath the sleeve. “Numb in some areas and over sensitive in others?”

“...yes.”

“All over your body?” Peter’s mind was racing, thinking about pressure points to avoid and how to incorporate something for pain relief into his usual lotion and wondering whether or not such extensive injuries had compromised muscle anywhere in Wade’s body. “How’s your skin, should I use something extra moisturizing for you? Have you ever tried a body conditioner with avocado? I have a small bottle in my bag and I bet it would help with--”

Peter’s fingers faltered when he saw the bruises at the base of Wade’s neck. “What happened here?”

“Knot in my back.” Wade was barely breathing, his gaze focused on where Peter’s other hand still held his own. “Tried to work it out using the corner of the wall but all it did was bruise me.”

“I can work on that tonight.” His want to help over riding any sense of personal space, Peter leaned further over Wade and drew gentle but purposeful fingers along the broad shoulders. “Oh yeah, I can feel it right there. Can’t turn your head all the way?”

“Not at all.” Wade forced out a slow breath when he started to get light headed, overwhelmed by the simple encounter. “Gotta say, people don’t usually see this mess and start asking how they can help. Usually they just run the other way."

“Well, I’m not most people.” Peter said mildly, feeling gingerly along the back of Wade’s neck. “Does this hurt?”

“No.”

“Okay, so in my bag I have a sorta generic diagram of a body and if you’re feeling up to it, I’d like to spend some time figuring out where your pain triggers are and where you are numb.” Peter could feel the ridges of scars all the way down Wade’s arm and he was very careful as he squeezed at Wade’s bicep to test the give of muscle. “Do you have any muscle damage? An injury like this one--”

“IED.” Wade supplied quietly. “Just about killed me.”

“---shit.” Peter shook his head. “Um, extensive injuries like this can really compromise your muscle while you’re healing. Restricted activity and all that. I’m not saying you should let me look at your medical records, but it would help the process if you could at least tell me anything along those lines.”

Peter absolutely did not think about how thick Wade’s thighs were as he tested the muscle there too, nodding in satisfaction when Wade didn’t flinch. “You sure seem solid, but there’s a thin line with massage between ‘this feels good’ and ‘holy shit I’m dying’ so you’ll need to be pretty vocal with me while I’m still figuring you out, okay?”

“While you’re still figuring me out.” Wade repeated. “Does this mean you aren’t grossed out by me?”

“Why would I be grossed out?” Peter scooted backwards so he could feel down Wade’s calves, and then stopped mid motion. “Oh by the way I’m not just-- not just feeling you up here. I just realized I didn’t even ask if I could touch you but I am just checking to see--”

“It’s fine.” Wade interrupted, and in a soft tone Peter couldn’t quite decipher, “Whatever you're doing is fine. You’re one of the first people to not act like I’ve got leprosy or something and it's--it's nice. Even my physical therapist is sorta weird about my skin.”

“That’s fuckin’ ridiculous, a physical therapist acting like that.” Peter switched to the other leg, frowning when he felt a divot in the calf muscle. “This leg is worse than the other?”

“That entire side of my body.” Wade confirmed. “Took the brunt of the hit.”

“I’ll make a note of it.” Peter sat back on his heels and reached for both Wade’s hands, pressing at the base of each finger. “I’m taking an extra class in reflexology this month and I’d love to try some on you. It’s less touch intensive in case you aren’t comfortable with that, but still has great benefits.”

“Uh, sure?”

“Great.” Peter got to his feet and went for his table. “I’m going to set up and you get undressed to whatever your comfort level is--”

“No, I don’t want a massage tonight.” Wade cut in and Peter paused with his table half out of the bag. “I just wanted to talk, to meet you. That’s it.”

“Well sure.” Peter gestured between them lamely. “But you’re hurting and I can help with that right now. At least fix the knot in your back and get you a little relief. I came all this way, I’m more than happy to work on you for a little bit.”

He grinned and added, “And not just cos I was checking you out earlier. I promise I’m one hundred percent professional once the table comes out and the calming music starts to play."

“That's great, but I’m not ready for it.” Wade flushed and looked away, putting his hat back on and shoving his hands into his pants pockets. “The meet and greet is more cos I-- I dunno if I can handle someone touching me but I had to try. You’re nice and all and it’s pretty fuckin’ amazing that you are all gung ho about this. I really figured you’d see this mess and realize it was all over my body and bail out the front door. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you didn’t but I-- I still need some time to get used to the idea."

“I see.” Peter put his table down and nodded slowly. “Okay. That’s fine. Understandable.”

"It's not understandable." Wade countered. "Grown ass man, former soldier afraid of being touched? It's not understandable, but it is what it is, so I've got to deal. I'm sorry you came all this way for just a few minutes though."

Wade dug out his wallet and pulled out some cash. “I um-- can I think about it and call you this next week?”

“Yeah, of course.” Disappointed for a reason he couldn’t quite put his finger on, Peter nodded again. "But here, let me give you this.”

He got the diagram out of his bag and pulled the bottle of avocado skin conditioner out as well. “Use this maybe just on your hands so you get used to it, and if you have the time, mark on here anywhere I’ll need to be careful when I work on you. Numb spots, sore spots, anything like that.”

“Thank you.” Wade still looked embarrassed and Peter sort of hated it. “I appreciate this, Pete. I really do. I’m sure it was weird to show up just to talk and I didn’t know how to tell you it definitely wasn’t a sex thing without sounding like a creeper so--”

His eyes lit in surprise when Peter laughed. “Oh good, you laughed. That could’a been real awkward.”

“Can’t possibly have been as awkward as me shouting wow when you opened the door.” Peter left the diagram and lotion on the table and straightened back up to wink at Wade. “If you call me for an appointment, I promise not to be half as weird next time around.”

“I sorta like your weird.” Wade admitted with a wink of his own and Peter scrunched his nose and laughed again. “I mean, I’m sure you’re great with all your clients but this was about a billion times easier than I thought it would be. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem.” Peter pocketed the cash Wade gave him, glancing at it only long enough to confirm it was twice his usual rate, along with the promised extra so he could call a car to take him home. “Feels like I’m robbing you though, with you paying double for fifteen minutes of me being dumb and then feeling you up. How about I don’t charge you for the first real appointment?”

“There’s a pretty big chance I’m gonna freak out and not actually call you, so keep the money and don’t worry about the discount or whatever.” Wade admitted as he walked Peter to the door. “I don’t get out a whole lot and inviting someone over is about as brave as I get these days. Inviting someone over to see me in my birthday suit is basically terrifying.”

“If it makes you feel better, I don’t ever stare at my clients in their birthday suit.” Peter said solemnly. “Minor peeks beneath the towel and that’s it. Five second rule, you know. It's a professional thing."

He was definitely flirting and that was definitely a bad idea, but Peter couldn’t seem to help himself. The first impression of Wade as eep holy muscles was firmly stuck in Peter’s mind, and combined with the few smiles he’d glimpsed and the way Wade’s voice had gone soft and a little unsteady while Peter was touching him…

...well shit, Peter never ever flirted with clients but he sure wanted to flirt with Wade.

“Five second rule?” Wade was asking and Peter nodded as seriously as he could manage. “I feel like there’s an inappropriate joke in there somewhere.”

“I can practically guarantee it!” Peter teased and Wade grinned and damn if that didn’t do something to Peter’s blood pressure. “Okay, I’m gonna go before I do something stupid like ask you out for dinner. I’ve got a rule about dating clients and--”

“--so if I don’t call you for a massage, you’ll take me out for dinner?” Wade challenged playfully, and then just as quickly he took it back with a hasty, “I mean, I know you wouldn’t. Sorry. That’s crazy. What I meant was--”

“You’ll call me if you decide you want a massage.” Peter waved off Wade’s stuttering. “Right?”

“I--” Wade cleared his throat, a flash of panic darkening his hazel eyes. “Yes. If I want one, I’ll call you.”

“Okay.” Peter heaved his table up and over his shoulders. “And um, if you don’t want a massage, are you a steakhouse sorta guy or a Chinese food buffet sort of guy?”

“Are you serious?” Wade looked like he was half hoping Peter was serious, and like he was half terrified Peter would laugh at him.

“Super serious.” Peter confirmed. “Not every day I meet a hunky former soldier in a high rise apartment. Steakhouse or Chinese buffet?”

“I’ll uh--” Wade held up his phone sheepishly. “I’ll let you know?”

“Sounds good.” Peter flashed finger guns at Wade because apparently he was physically incapable of ending a conversation like an adult. “Looking forward to hearing from you.”

***************

Peter called a cab and was only a few blocks from his place when his phone buzzed with an incoming message.

Unknown Number: Can I make an appointment for next Tuesday evening? For a massage, not for dinner.

Peter smothered a smile and texted back: It would have been very weird if you were making an appointment for a dinner date. I feel like there’s only certain types of people who have to make appointments for dates, you know?

He waited a beat, then took a chance and texted: Exactly what kind of massage therapist do you take me for?

It was almost five minutes before the reply came.

Unknown Number: Oh you are OBVIOUSLY 100% professional. 100%.

*****************

Wade’s phone chimed just as he was opening the lotion Peter had left behind, and with his heart in his throat, he opened it to read:

From Peter: You say 100% professional like you don’t believe me. I’ll show up in a tuxedo next time. Then you’ll see how professional I am. That'll learn ya.

Wade hadn’t laughed in a very long time, but he laughed right then. When Matt Murdock had suggested Wade call Peter for a massage, the lawyer had said it with a sly sort of smile on his face and now Wade knew exactly why that was.

Peter was all sorts of Wade’s type, all long legs and thick hair and big brown eyes that were mostly earnest but also fucking devilish. He was funny and he was smart and when he’d smiled Wade had actually felt it clear to his bones.

Plus, he hadn't flinched away from Wade's scars, hadn't flinched away from touching him and Peter had actually looked disappointed when Wade had turned down the massage, as if he really wanted to help and that--

--that wasn't something Wade wasn't used to at all anymore.

It had been both eye opening and heart breaking for Wade to realize how little people wanted to help him now that he wasn't pretty. He was a mess now, and people stared at his injuries or treated him like he was damaged and breakable or worse like they couldn't see him at all, like he was invisible.

But Peter didn't act like Wade was invisible.

The kid had all but asked Wade out on a fucking date.

A date.

“I can’t sleep with my massage therapist.” Wade muttered, then shook his head because if the thought of someone seeing enough of his skin for a massage made him feel panicky, the thought of sex was nearly crippling.

Being face to face with someone beautiful when he was a mess? Skin to skin when he was ruined after the explosion?

No thank you.

From Peter: Oh shit, was the tuxedo question weird? I swear I’m a legit professional Wade, idk why I’m being such a dumbass around you. How does next Tuesday at seven sound?

From Wade: Sounds good.

Wade took a deep breath and fired off another text before he lost his nerve and called the whole thing off.

From Wade: I can’t wait.

****************

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#ncts fics #spideypool #peter parker #wade wilson #non powers au

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albatris · 3 years

Note

hello logan i feel obliged from love to finally ask a burning question about jacob greer: how much therapy does he receive??

this question can be generalized to all atdao, ofc, but you know my feelings for jacob

hello!!!! how's it going?? :D :D

thank you so much for the question, I am literally always waiting to pounce on any opportunity to ramble about jacob ahahaha

so I think I've joked before on this blog about how a potential ATDAO sequel is just "jacob greer goes to therapy".......... there's enough content there for at least a whole 'nother book imo

but anyway anyway yes hmmmm, a good question, ok, alright

short answer....... none for 90% of his life so far, then a lot of it

long answer,

well, he was never in any therapy as a kid because his 'rents didn't really ""believe in"" it......... n like, there was a lot of pressure on jacob growing up to keep up this image of the perfect golden child, n samuel and shauna saw him more as a prized object to be paraded around to make them look good rather than a human person..... so this meant no straying outside the norm, n if you had any negative feelings or resentment or anxiety u better repress that shit RIGHT away

so the rhetoric surrounding mental illness for jacob was very much..... any symptoms you experience will be fixed if you just try harder! and the fact that his parents saw him succeeding at everything that was important to *them* and were like??? you can't possibly be unhappy?? what do you mean?? you're doing fantastic in life??

and unfortunately he internalised all that so he kinda just........ Dealt With Stuff on his own for most of his life because he just always assumed his experiences were Perfectly Normal and he didn't have it "bad enough" to warrant therapy

n like. jacob has absolutely no issue with other people getting therapy. he just thinks, oh, but that's DIFFERENT, they actually NEED it, their problems are real not like mine

as a side note samuel and shauna greer's only motivation for allowing tris and becca into therapy was because they were Difficult and Not Like Jacob, it was not done with the intent of being supportive or out of concern for their wellbeing, it was basically just "we are at our wits end trying to make you normal so maybe this will"

n even then tris only landed in therapy initially cuz he got himself hospitalised and they were like "ma'am psychosis is not caused by the devil your son needs to see a psychiatrist"

anyway. jacob!

so....... he thankfully gets a lot of therapy after the climax of the story is over and done with!! to begin with, it's mostly to try and handle the aftermath of the unreality and all its associated trauma. poor sweet boy's been through a LOT. like, yeah, of course the unreality was fucked up for tris too but jacob spent weeks there terrified and alone and convinced he was dead and in hell the whole time...... lots of fun! yeehaw

n even SANS all the unreality stuff that ensued, dude almost got crushed to death in a car accident which is. hm. a lot

he basically gets out of hospital post-unreality, goes home, and is like. ok. here we are. time to get back to regular life. huh. why is my vision clouding over. why am I hyperventilating. why does my chest feel like it's going to explode. I think I'm having a heart attack

various people around him are like "yeah fam that's a panic attack also you went through something super fucked up and traumatic you should probably do some therapy about it" and he's like "nah"

he has to get over this mental hurdle of how like..... him going to therapy wouldn't be "cheating" (whatever that means) and how you don't have to have a capital M capital I Mental Illness to go to therapy (although he has several)

n after some gentle coaxing from tris and some "dude I love you but you're a dumbass" he agrees to it

and it's great help for coping with post-unreality life! it also opens up the floodgates to 25+ years' worth of trauma that he didn't realise was trauma

so ya, it starts off as mostly centred around his experiences in the unreality and around [redacted other story content I can't reveal due to spoilers], but also opens the door to him finally starting to work through...... a looooot of other stuff

complicated feelings towards his shitty parents, self-worth issues, identity issues, obsessive perfectionism, the ever-present panic that people will abandon him the instant he's not useful, his tendency to land in awful relationships because he's incapable of setting boundaries and can't recognise red flags, the years of stress from trying to protect his siblings from the same treatment his parents gave him, and the usual Growing Up In A Literal Reality-Unraveling Apocalypse

I feel like that's kind of an oof note to end on but, like, he's...... absolutely heading in the right direction? he has a lot to untangle and a lot of work to do and it’s probably not something that’ll ever have a definite End Point, but as with all (story) endings in ATDAO it's kind of just like....... yeah, he's gonna be alright, he's got this

y'know

he does make it to a place in life where he gets some consistent peace and happiness and is surrounded by good people who love him very much

so to answer your question, lots of therapy, finally, at long last, thank god

in conclusion,

*gives jacob greer a gentle kiss on the forehead*

#i am so sorry for how long and rambly this got i literally have zero filter #fdjghdsfkjghsdkjfhg #anyway. anyway. anyway #jacob greer is................. my favourite atdao character #i'm very fond of him he's a good kid #atdao #polyacery

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fullmetalscullyy · 3 years

Text

the way it was - chapter 36

summary: what if riza never went to war? riza hawkeye has just married the man she loves. six months into their marriage, an unexpected surprise stops her from following roy to the military. a canon divergence au that explores what might have happened had riza been unable to join the military. there will be plenty of family fluff, angst, and royai.

rated: m | warnings: no archive warning apply

read on ao3

1915

rise up and take the power back

it's time the fat cats had a heart attack

you know that their time is coming to an end

we have to unify and watch our flag ascend

Anxiety rumbled inside Riza’s stomach uncomfortably. It would not leave her alone at all, becoming more relentless and vicious as the day progressed.

It had started when the news dropped that morning the Fuhrer’s train had been derailed and attacked travelling back from the east. A few hours had passed since then, but her condition didn’t improve. There were reports on various radio stations, claiming Colonel Mustang was an enemy and was staging a coup to overthrow Fuhrer Bradley.

Gunshots were heard towards the centre of the city. The streets were silent, everyone locked up inside and too afraid to venture out. There were panicked warnings across stations too, telling everyone to remain indoors until the military had wrapped up whatever was happening in Central.

‘Wrapped up’ either meant Roy’s success or his doom.

Riza tried not to dwell on it too much despite hanging onto every word that came through on the news stations. It was a cruel form of torture, listening to it all and being unable to determine what was true or false. Was the military on Bradley’s side controlling the reports? Were they trying to paint Roy a criminal? Riza didn’t know. She knew his plan but plans change and are adapted in practice.

Hayate was as restless as she was. However he could sense her distress and recognised she needed some comfort.

Riza had been wringing her hands in her lap on the couch, eyes unseeing as she focussed her attention on the news programmes. He’d hopped up beside her, giving her a fright and making her jump. Hayate buried his muzzle into the gap between her forearm and leg, forcing himself gently into the space with a whine. Normally Riza would gently command him to get down off the furniture but today… It brought a smile to her face and she scooted him closer to her body, petting his fur as he sighed underneath her hands.

The ringing of the phone startled their quiet contemplation as they waited for any further news.

“Hello, Riza,” Gracia greeted on the other side of the line.

Her shoulders relaxed, feeling tension evade from them. Despite it not being who she’d prefer to hear from at that moment, Riza was still pleased to hear from her friend. It was a welcome break from her own mind.

“Hello, Gracia.”

“Hi, Aunt Riza!” an excited child’s voice called over her mother, making Riza smile.

“Elicia says hello too,” Gracia giggled.

“Hello, Elicia,” Riza replied fondly.

Riza’s stomach tightened, a deep yearning flooding her as she wished her children were at home with her too.

Mia was having a brilliant time in Xing. They’d visited two imperial palaces so far and Mia was brimming with excitement and knowledge on them, telling her parents all about it when she’d called on the phone. It just made Riza miss her more, wishing she was there with her and Maes to experience it with them.

“How are you doing?” Gracia’s question interrupted her thoughts.

“I’m fine,” she answered. It wasn’t a complete lie. Physically, she was. Mentally… Well, there wasn’t enough time for her to explain all of that and she didn’t want to unload it all onto her friend.

“Good,” Gracia replied. “I know things are… uncertain in Central Command at the moment,” Gracia added tactfully before clearing her throat, “so I just wanted to call for a chat and see how you were doing.”

A smile overtook Riza’s features at the thoughtful gesture. Gracia had probably heard the same news as her but was still willing to look out for Riza as a friend. At least Riza knew she could count on her regardless of what happened.

“That’s very kind of you. Thank you,” Riza replied gratefully.

“It’s no problem, Riza,” was Gracia’s warm reply.

The two of them chatted a while. Riza and Elicia got to talk for a little bit too. She asked Elicia about her day and what toys she was playing with. A tactical question because she’d need to get organised and buy Elicia’s birthday present sometime soon.

Just as they were wrapping up there was a knock at Riza’s door.

Gracia understood and offered a quick farewell, allowing Riza to answer her guest. Apprehension made her cautious as she approached, eyeing the shadow through the glass carefully before she opened the door. Riza wasn’t expecting anyone, so was alert and wary. Given the circumstances and her husband’s plans for the day, it was hard for her not to be.

“Riza.”

She blinked at Roy standing before her, completely baffled.

His smile was wide, all his teeth on show. His eyes, instead of meeting her gaze with the softness she loved, looked harsh, almost leering at her. It took her aback. The difference in his usual demeanour was startling.

“Roy.”

It was all she could manage to reply with. He… He shouldn’t even be here. He should be elsewhere –

“I’m here to take you to Central Command. I thought about it and I’d prefer it if you were there with me instead of at home.”

Something isn’t right, Riza thought immediately.

Roy’s smile wavered, falling just enough for him to look impatient despite giving her barely any time to reply.

This… This person wasn’t Roy. Riza didn’t know how or why that was possible, but it wasn’t him. Her gut was screaming at her not to trust him.

Roy’s impatience grew. His eyes tightened, but only slightly, a sign that whoever this was, they were annoyed by her lack of response and compliance.

One of the homunculi has skin made of carbon, Roy’s voice echoed in her head. Another, the one that stabbed Havoc and I, could make long knives out of their fingers. One can change shape while another will eat almost everything – and I mean, almost everything.

Someone… One of the homunculi had stolen Roy’s face and was using it in front of her, mocking Riza with his image.

“All right,” she agreed finally. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect to see you home so soon.”

Roy shrugged carelessly. “Plans changed and Central Command is where I want you to be.”

She tried not to frown. She really did. Whenever a plan was made, even his plans for today, her thoughts and wants were always considered. Riza was never ‘forced’ into anything based on what Roy desired.

He’d listened intently to her fears for the day, holding her close. He’d asked where she’d prefer to be - if she wanted to travel last minute to Xing with his mother or if she wanted to stay at home. Riza knew what Roy wanted her to do. He wanted her to leave so that she would be safe and out of harm’s way. But he didn’t voice it. It was her decision and he didn’t want to sway her. She couldn’t leave him though. They’d always agreed to look out for one another and Riza couldn’t turn her back on him when he needed it the most. Despite not being actively involved in his plans, she still wanted to be present. Whether the aftermath of today would be good or bad, she still wanted to stay to see it through.

Roy hadn’t promised that everything would be all right, because realistically he couldn’t, but he did promise he’d fight tooth and nail to come back to her. That he always would. It meant more to Riza to hear that than for him to spout off false promises in an effort to make her feel better in the short-term. It reminded Riza of how he would always gravitate back to her, and vice versa.

Two soldiers approached up the path to their home, tearing Riza’s attention away from her ‘husband’. Their faces were stony and unforgiving as they stared at her, waiting for her to start moving.

“Who are these people?”

“Two men from my team,” Roy dismissed, gesturing lazily over his shoulder. “They’re extra protection for you. Are you ready to leave?”

So, now she wasn’t even getting a chance to disagree.

Riza had never seen these men before either. If Roy really was sending someone on a protection detail, it would be someone she was familiar with, or at least someone she knew the name of.

These people were not here to protect her.

“I will be,” she nodded slowly. “I just need to lock up.”

She shouldn’t go with them. Every instinct screamed at her not to, however another part of her whispered in her mind that she clearly had no choice. The silent officers had their hands on their weapon holsters. It was a reminder. A threat.

“Lock up?” The imposter echoed her words back to her in irritated confusion.

She nodded. “I won’t be a moment,” she reassured. “I would bring you in, but I’ve been painting so there’s fresh paint everywhere. I wouldn’t want it to get all over your uniforms,” she smiled placidly, perfectly innocent as she closed the door on them without waiting for a reply.

One thing Riza was hoping for as she turned in a hurry, was that they’d respect the boundary she’d set by closing that door.

If they were here for her “protection” and she was to be used against Roy in some way, they wouldn’t hurt her. Well, not yet anyway. That would have no impact on Roy right now. If they wanted to use her to get to him, whoever this was would wait until Roy could see her. The thought made her ill, but she had no choice. She could fight it, she could run, but she couldn’t outrun bullets if they started firing. Plus, the homunculi had powers. There was no way for her to know what the one who’d stolen her husband’s face was capable of.

Riza dived for the phone, but hesitated. There was no one to call. Roy wasn’t in the office, neither was his team. Rebecca was out of office today. Gracia was just a civilian…

There was one person…

A piece of paper lay next to the phone with a name and phone number written on it. Roy had left it there the night before, explaining it was a direct line to one of his supporters in the East. They were high up in the military, he’d said, and would help if she needed anything today.

Riza shook her head as she stared at the name. She had no reason to believe her grandfather would help her. He’d known of her existence for years and had made no move to make contact. Still, it was an option… A way to possibly get through to Roy. A last ditch effort…

Riza felt she at least had to try.

“General Grumman,” an aged voice greeted through the phone.

“General,” Riza greeted, swallowing the extra saliva forming in her mouth. “General Grumman, my name is Riza Mustang. Née Hawkeye.”

There was silence on the other side of the line.

“I’m very sorry to disturb you today, sir, however I was left this number by my husband, Colonel Mustang, should I need any assistance.” There was still no reply from her grandfather. Taking a deep breath, she forged ahead, hoping he would offer her something. “I would like to ask one thing of you, if you wouldn’t mind? It’s for my husband’s sake and I wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t important. I know you are close with him, sir.”

“What do you need?” His tone had changed completely, losing its professionalism, and reverting to a respectful but forlorn one.

Riza didn’t spend too long analysing the nuances of his reply. She couldn’t. There were far more important things for her to dwell on, especially when her grandfather had paid her no mind in the years she and Roy had been married. If Roy was a well-known “family man” around the office, then General Grumman was sure to have heard about her when he was Roy’s direct superior. Her grandfather must have made the connection and yet had done nothing. Other factors may have come into play there, but Riza had no time to consider them. Getting a message to Roy was her top priority, not her grandfather.

“I need you to get a message to Colonel Mustang.”

“What is it?” The General’s tone was brisk. He snapped his fingers, demanding someone get him a pen and some paper.

“Tell him I’m on my way into town,” she swallowed, looking back at her front door. “The escort has just arrived.”

“Understood.” There was movement on the other side of the line. She heard him bark an order but it was hard to make it out. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Mrs. Mustang? Anything you need?”

“That’s all. I would really appreciate you passing that message on, sir,” she added, stressing that fact and hoping he’d pick up on it.

There was an urgent knock at her front door. Riza’s head snapped towards it, feeling the imposter’s anger and annoyance as they banged on the door.

“Have a nice day, General,” she swallowed. Riza hung up the phone without waiting for him to reply.

While shrugging on her jacket she whistled for Hayate to come. He appeared in an instant by her side, looking up at her expectantly. She bent low, clipping his lead onto his collar. Taking the deepest breath, Riza stood and braced herself to dive head first into the lion’s den.

The imposter frowned once the door opened, affronted at having been kept waiting for so long, while the two soldiers stared at her, as stiff as statues. Paying them no heed, Riza pocketed her house key and looked at her ‘husband’ expectantly.

Hayate tugged on his lead, turning to growl loudly at Roy. He barked twice, taking up a defensive stance in front of her.

Her dog’s behaviour solidified it for Riza. That was not her husband.

“What’s wrong… boy?” Roy missed a beat, guessing the correct word to use when referring to Hayate, who just continued to bark.

Riza didn’t try to quieten him either.

“I’m not sure,” she replied innocently, glancing up at her ‘husband’. “He normally loves you, Roy.”

The imposter frowned down at the Shiba. He took one step forward and Hayate warned him to back right back up again with a snarl. Roy flinched, moving backwards. Riza almost smiled proudly at her dog.

“What’s gotten into the mutt today,” Roy muttered darkly underneath his breath.

Gripping the lead tightly and trying not to snap a reply, Riza gently hushed Hayate.

“Why does he have to come?” Roy’s voice was full of disgust.

“I can’t leave him alone all day,” Riza replied simply with a shrug. “That wouldn’t be very responsible pet ownership. You know that.”

Roy turned his nose up Hayate, then proceeded to skirt around him as Hayate continued to growl. Riza probably should’ve quietened him again but it was far too entertaining to watch. Hayate had always been very protective of her and her family so if his instincts were telling him not to trust Roy, then Riza would believe it too.

“Keep him on a tight lead,” Roy sniffed, storming over to the car without a backwards glance.

Riza glanced down at Hayate, noting how his stance was still protective, but his growling eased with the more distance Roy put between him and her.

“Yes, Sir,” Riza muttered to herself.

Beginning to walk, she signalled for Hayate to follow. There was a moment of pause and Riza wondered if he’d go anywhere near the imposter again but Hayate trotted along obediently. He moved closer to Riza and hurried to walk one step ahead of her, putting himself between her and the imposter.

She loved their little Shiba with all of her heart every day. However, after that show and how protective he was being, her adoration for their dog swelled in her chest that little bit more.

* * *

The car stopped at a blockade. Soldiers were holding up traffic, waving for other soldiers to pass by and ignoring the yelling of irate drivers. ‘Roy’ was in the passenger seat, muttering under his breath while the soldier driving remained still, staring straight ahead with no emotion as he waited for the disruption to clear.

Riza’s head turned at the sound of yells, confused but drawn to it, wondering what on earth the sudden commotion was for.

Then a gun went off. One single shot cracked through the angry shouting, silencing everyone.

That’s when the panicked cries started.

People ran past the car window as Riza ducked in the back seat on instinct. Another gunshot sounded, followed by loud cracks and sudden flashes of light. It reminded Riza of alchemy but she didn’t get a chance to dwell on that thought for too long. Hayate whined loudly in her ear. His legs were shaking and shifting restlessly on her lap as he pressed his muzzle against her neck in fear.

The sound of gunfire rattled within Riza’s chest, making her feel ill. It was such a shock that she was frozen for the briefest of seconds, stuck as she tried to comprehend what was happening.

Risking lifting her head, Riza spotted the look of fury on Roy’s face. One hand was braced on the dashboard, teeth clenched hard together as he cursed violently. The tips of his fingers changed in colour, taking on a hint of green as the imposter began to lose whatever control they had over Roy’s form.

“Envy!”

A voice called through the sudden appearance of smoke and dust outside, but from her ducked position, Riza could see no one. She couldn’t be sure, but they sounded young. Risking a further search, there was still nobody to be found. She couldn’t see anything through the sudden gloom.

“Come out!” the newcomer commanded harshly.

The imposter snarled and glared ahead of them.

“You,” they hissed, twisting her husband’s features into a look of disgust. Then, their hand turned green and transformed shape completely.

Riza listened to her screaming instincts and made her move.

The soldier to Riza’s left hadn’t expected her to shove open the door and dive out of the stationary vehicle. People were still yelling and running away from the sound of whatever battle was raging in the streets. Riza ducked into the crowd hurriedly with Hayate in her arms, sprinting through it and bashing into others who damned her for being so clumsy. She didn’t care. There was an out and Riza took it. The startling sound of Roy yelling at her with such ire almost froze her in fear, but Riza forged ahead.

That was not Roy.

Once through the throng of people, she slipped into an alleyway and stopped, panting heavily. Hands on knees, Riza’s lungs heaved as she struggled to get the breath she needed. Her limbs were shaking from adrenaline, fear, and anger.

How dare that… homunculus imitate Roy. They hadn’t even tried to appear sincere and like him. Riza had never been so insulted by that poor performance. They’d mocked her with his image -

Hayate quietly barked a warning. He took a step back, facing the thinning crowd of people she’d just ran through.

“Time to go, boy,” Riza breathed, still struggling to gulp down enough oxygen. She willed herself to calm down and focus on the here and now, and not what had transpired with the homunculus. She was free from them at the moment but if they caught her it would not end well for Riza.

Her months of limited exercise due to the pregnancy and having a demanding infant in the house was taking its toll. Her breaths slowly became easier, but her heart rate remained sky high. Adrenaline and anger were fuelling the furious pumping of her heart, making Riza’s first step unsteady.

Hayate remained tight to her side, scouting ahead with his nose. He never stopped or resisted the direction she was heading, so Riza took that as a good sign.

After escaping from the homunculus and the escort, Riza had no idea where to go. She knew of Roy and his team’s plan, knew where they were rendezvousing at, but it would be difficult to pinpoint where exactly they were at certain times –

Tires screeching on concrete made Riza jerk back from the road in fright. Momentary terror gripped her heart, squeezing it tightly. Was this someone else to ‘convince’ her to go with them? Had the homunculus found her?

This was not a car though. Riza paused and eyed the ice cream truck that had halted in front of her. Her muscles coiled with energy, getting ready to turn and run if need be.

“Riza?!”

The sound of Rebecca Catalina’s voice was not what Riza expected to hear that day, however it was the most welcome thing in the world after her flight from the car.

“Rebecca?”

“Get in!”

The door in the cab of the truck was thrown open. Riza didn’t hesitate.

“What are you doing out on the streets?” Rebecca’s tone was one of disbelief and worry as she pulled away, speeding down the street.

“What are you doing in Central? Shouldn’t you be on a mission out east?”

“This is my mission.” Her head jerked to the truck behind her.

Looking around, Riza blinked in surprise at the number of weapons that were loaded into the unsuspecting ice cream truck.

“Uh…”

There was a person in the back, too. A woman.

“Hi,” she grinned, offering Riza a wave. Dark hair was cut short to her head, while a distinctive mole was placed upon her cheek, just underneath her eye.

“Riza, Maria Ross,” Rebecca introduced hurriedly as she weaved through traffic. “Maria, Riza Mustang.”

“Oh!” Riza exclaimed, recognition dawning on her. “Maria Ross,” she repeated, seeing the woman nod in confirmation. “I’m glad you’re safe. How was Xerxes?”

“Hot,” she remarked dryly, “but a necessary journey. Xing was much more preferable though in temperature,” she quipped with a wink.

“You didn’t answer my question, Riza,” Rebecca admonished. “What were you doing out in the streets?”

Hayate swayed on her lap, looking out the window excitedly as the city sped by. With hands buried in his fur, she rubbed his sides as she told the story of her morning.

“Wait, a homunculus?” Rebecca’s mouth popped open in shock. “At your door?”

“I think so, because it wasn’t Roy.” Riza was adamant about that. “Hayate growled and barked at them enough though, didn’t you boy?”

Reacting to her proud tone, Hayate sat a little taller and panted happily.

“He’s a good boy,” Rebecca cooed. “You’re so lucky,” she added, pouting.

“How come?” Her laugh was light.

“You get a good man, cute kids, and the best dog in the world!”

“Yes, but I don’t get to run around the city, driving at top speed in an ice cream truck full of weapons,” Riza countered playfully.

“Do you want to?” Rebecca chuckled to herself. “I can only imagine the look on Mustang’s face when you show up as the driver.”

It would be entertaining but Riza’s stomach still tightened uncomfortably at the thought of having to explain what had happened that morning to him. She’d never hide it, but given his reaction to her meeting with Pride, it wouldn’t be ideal to do it when he was supposed to be level-headed and calm while leading a rebellion.

“I can picture it well,” Riza smirked, despite her discomfort.

They pulled up to the kerb suddenly.

“Quick, get into the back,” Rebecca ordered.

Given the urgency of her tone, Riza wasted no time and held Hayate tight to her chest as she manoeuvred her way into the back of the truck, picking her way through boxes of weapons.

“Colonel Mustang!”

Riza’s heart was in her throat as she waited to see him appear. Relief flooded each and every one of her limbs, thankful he was okay, and she could witness that confirmation with her own two eyes. Roy gawked up at Maria Ross, so did Breda, when she moved forward to reveal herself.

“I picked up a hitchhiker along the way as well,” Rebecca quipped.

Breda glanced behind Maria, eyes growing wide when Rebecca waved over her shoulder to further back in the truck. Roy just stared in confusion at Rebecca.

“Riza?” Breda’s half smirk was both of joy and surprise as he called over to her.

Roy’s head snapped around after Breda spoke. His eyes scanned the truck frantically to look for her. Once settling on her form, he took one look at her face, instantly alert. His spine straightened as Riza let out a long breath.

“What are you doing here?” Breda’s question was mirrored on all of their faces, joy quickly turning to alerted concern.

“Let’s hop out for a minute,” Rebecca suggested. “I could use a stretch of my legs.”

Everyone did so, moving further away as Riza stepped down onto the concrete. She felt Hayate stiffen in her arms but she placed him down on the ground so she could talk to Roy.

He’d stepped back, giving them all space to step out of the vehicle, but didn’t approach Riza. He remained put, studying her, trying to find a reason in his own mind why she would be in the truck with Rebecca and not at home.

“Can I talk to you?”

He nodded, stepping forward with an outstretched hand. Taking a deep breath, Riza approached with Hayate’s lead in her hand. She was halted, though, when her dog dug his paws into the ground, tugging her back from him. No growl left his throat, but Hayate wasn’t budging and was staring Roy down.

“Hayate?”

Riza held her breath, thinking of her last run in with ‘Roy’.

“Is it really you?” Her question, despite being quiet, carried across the distance between them.

“What?” His confusion was genuine. Shifting his stance to face her fully, Roy’s arm dropped to his side, hanging limp.

Out the corner of her eye, Riza saw Breda jerk his head at the other three soldiers, walking further out of earshot to give them some more privacy. It was much appreciated.

“Is it really you,” she repeated, gripping Hayate’s lead tighter.

The dog took a tentative step forward but still didn’t growl. His nostrils were moving, sniffing, and testing the air.

“I…” He didn’t know how to respond, which Riza thought was promising. Looking completely perplexed, Roy trailed off, unsure how to answer but wanting to be careful in his reply.

“What did you say to me?” She was desperate, the emotion clawing up her throat and forming a lump. She desperately wanted it to be him, but she wouldn’t put herself at risk. She had to check. “Before you left last night, what did you promise?”

“That I would always return to you and the kids,” was his instant reply. Roy didn’t even miss a beat. It made Riza’s heart soar and her muscles loosened with the reassurance. “You told me you’d hold me to that and to go off and save the world.” A tiny smile tugged at his lips, softening his expression.

It was him.

Riza moved forward into his open and waiting arms. Hayate didn’t put up any resistance either. A kiss was pressed to the top of her head as she squeezed him tightly.

“Thank you for answering my questions,” she whispered against his uniform.

Hayate sniffed at Roy’s legs and let out a quiet yip. His tail wagged happily before sitting down on the ground, satisfied that this was the real Roy.

“Can I ask what that was all about?” He was trying to remain casual, but she heard the strain in his voice.

Riza nodded and pulled away. “Hayate and I already had a run in with you today.”

His head cocked to the side, not understanding. His lips parted to speak but no noise left him. Instead, Roy’s mouth closed, still unable to comprehend her reply.

“It wasn’t you.”

“Well, I know that, but –” His face paled, mouth parted as realisation dawned on him. “Wait.”

“It was someone pretending to be you. They had your face and your voice.”

“Oh, shit.”

Riza almost snorted in amusement at his mumbled response.

“I’m… I didn’t… I didn’t anticipate something like that happening.”

“It’s not your fault.”

An appreciative smile was shot her way. “Are you okay, though?” Roy dipped his head, looking into both her eyes to try and discern if he could see anything in them to give away her true state of being.

“I’m fine,” she placated with a gentle hand on his forearm. “We’re fine. Hayate told me right away that it wasn’t you.”

Roy looked down at their pup. Seeing eyes on him, Hayate’s tongue lolled from his mouth and his tail thumped on the ground. Roy’s hands released Riza from his hold so he could lower to a crouch. Hayate stood, excitement on his face at the anticipation of getting attention from Roy.

“He’s a good dog,” Roy murmured, rubbing at Hayate’s head. “The best dog in the world, actually.”

“I’ve often thought that myself,” Riza replied dryly.

“Thank you for protecting our family, Hayate.” His tone was sincere as he gave Hayate another scratch behind the ear. The pup was pleased, his eyes closing appreciatively. “We all owe you a lot.”

Hayate barked at them both, eyes sparkling with elation.

“I’m glad you’re all right,” Roy repeated, moving to stand. “Who was it? Do you know?”

“I don’t,” Riza replied honestly. “It was definitely a homunculus though. You said there was one who could change shape. It was you, Roy, but they didn’t act like you.”

“Envy, then,” he muttered to himself.

Riza’s mind jolted, remembering how someone had called that name before she fled the car.

“Was there anyone else?”

“Two vacant looking soldiers. They didn’t speak,” Riza replied.

“What did Envy want?”

“Me to go with them to Central Command.”

Turning thoughtful, Roy considered her answer. “I didn’t anticipate a plan such as this.” His gaze turned away but Riza caught sight of his regret. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think they’d stoop so low and do something like try and kidnap you.”

Her stomach twisted at the phrase, but Roy was right.

“I thought you’d be safe at home,” he sighed. His eyes closed briefly. “But if that’s how they want to do things then I’m glad you’re here.” His expression softened, his tiny smile returning to tease the corner of his lips.

“I am too,” she admitted. Riza reached forward and gripped his hand tightly.

Once again, she found a place in his arms, safe and secure.

“So, what’s the plan, Colonel?” Riza pulled away from his embrace after kissing his cheek.

One of his eyebrows raised. “You already know the plan.”

“I did,” Riza agreed, “but now I’m involved. How can I help?”

“Well. I didn’t really want to get you involved but if you’re here we could use an extra set of hands.” Twisting, he extracted a pistol from a holster around his waist. “I wasn’t planning on using it but brought it just in case.”

“You’re giving me a gun?” Riza blinked at it.

“You were the deadliest shot I knew as a kid with that rifle of yours,” Roy quipped playfully. “I know it’s been a while though, so if you don’t want to –”

Riza gently plucked the gun from Roy’s open palm. It was examined carefully, and she weighed it in her grip. It nestled comfortably in her palm.

“Anything to help.” Her reply was firm and determined. “And it’s not been too long. Rebecca and I went shooting once before I found out I was pregnant with Maes.”

“Is it just like riding a bike, then?”

Riza smirked at his jest. “We’ll soon find out.”

She lifted the gun to eye level, squinting to aim, feeling everything come rushing back to her from her childhood. She was back in that forest, the breeze gentle and tugging at her fringe. The birds overhead were chirping, oblivious to the young girl below hunting for survival.

“I think you’ll be just fine,” Roy smirked, watching her proudly.

“Sir!” Fuery called from a distance away, interrupting their conversation.

They both turned, seeing him holding a phone receiver away from his ear.

“I’ve got a call here for you from General Grumman, sir.”

Riza’s heart rose into her throat in anticipation.

“He’s been trying to get through to us for a while. Apparently it’s very urgent. It’s regarding your family?” Fuery questioned that last part, looking over at Riza.

Roy shot her an alarmed look.

“I called him and asked to get a message to you,” she explained, “when Envy showed up.”

“Oh.”

“Take it,” she urged and nudged his arm gently. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

He shot her a smile before jogging over to Fuery to take the call.

So, her grandfather had come through for her after all. Riza let out a relieved breath, thankful he’d listened and done as she’d requested. Although she hadn’t anticipated ending up with Roy anyway and so soon, it was still a relief to know the General was willing to help her.

She’d make sure to thank him if they ever crossed paths in the future.

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #royai au #the way it was #emma writes #here we go my dudes 🤙#time for promised day shenanigans

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