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thevioletcaptain · 6 days

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😔🧋🤙 for the emoji prompt!

Cas is just leaning in to kiss him, his fingers trailing warm and seductive down the center of Dean’s chest, when there’s a knock on their bedroom door. Three sharp raps in quick succession.

They both freeze, breath caught as they wait, as if silence will convince whoever’s knocking that they aren’t here.

“Dean? Cas?”

No such luck.

“Maybe if we ignore him, he’ll give up and leave,” Dean whispers, but he’s barely finished the sentence when Sam knocks again.

“Uh, guys?” Sam says, voice louder but still muffled through two inches of oak. “You awake in there?”

Cas sighs, slumping back onto his own pillow to give Dean a look that very clearly states; your brother, your problem. Dean sends one back that says, what’s mine is yours, sweetheart, but Cas only glowers in response.

“Guys?” Sam repeats, knocking a third time, and Dean groans as he pushes out of bed.

With one last longing glance at Cas, naked and sleepy and looking decidedly put out about the fact that his plans to continue what they’d started last night had been interrupted before they could even begin, Dean slips into his robe before cracking the door.

“What?”

Sam meets his gaze with a sheepish grimace.

“Hey, sorry,” he says again, wrinkling his nose. “I was gonna let you guys sleep in, but, well… I don’t wanna freak you out or anything, and it might not even be—”

Sam pushes out a breath. Hesitates.

“Dude, just spit it out. It’s early.”

“It’s eleven.”

“Sam—”

“I think there’s something wrong with Jack.”

That gets his attention fast, and Dean pulls the door wide as Cas launches out of bed. Sam averts his eyes when he notices Cas’ distinct lack of pants.

“Uh—”

“Is he sick?”

“What happened?” Cas asks, immediately breathless with worry. “Where is he? Is he hurt?”

“He’s fine, he’s safe, he’s taking Miracle for a walk. But— Cas, can you put some clothes on?”

Dean grabs Cas’ fuzzy cloud-print bathrobe from the back of the door and tosses it over to him before he can start arguing with Sam about the fact that his lack of pants has no bearing on Sam’s ability to explain himself.

“So if he’s fine and safe and walking the dog—what exactly is the problem?” Dean asks.

With an uncertain shrug, Sam nods toward the kitchen, and they follow him down the hall as he explains.

“Okay, so this morning I had to go to up to Hastings for a few things, and I asked if he wanted to come with — he normally does, y’know, because he likes the toffee boba from that place opposite the store where I get my protein powder.”

“Uhuh,” Dean says.

“So, I dropped him off to get his drink, and I went to the health food store, and when I came back to meet him he was just, like. Sitting in the middle of the sidewalk.”

“Sitting, and… doing what?” Cas asks.

“That’s the thing,” Sam says, stepping down into the kitchen. He looks back at them as he pulls out one of the swivel chairs at the table and sits down. Dean and Cas mirror him on the other side. “He was just sitting there, staring at a crack in the pavement with a dandelion growing in it.”

“So…” Dean says, waving a hand for Sam to elaborate.

“I think he’s depressed.”

“Depressed,” Cas repeats with a frown.

“You think he’s depressed because he was sitting on the sidewalk and looking at a flower?” Dean asks, narrowing his eyes. “The kid’s just weird, Sam. He’s always been weird. He gets it from his entire family.”

“That’s not— look, I asked him why he was sitting there instead of on the bench five feet away, and you know what he said to me? He said, what difference does it make? Everything is meaningless.”

“Okay, well that… that does sound kinda concerning,” Dean admits.

“Did he say anything else?”

“No, not really. But when we got back to the car he stuck the dandelion under the windshield wipers to ‘see how long it would hold on’, and… honestly, saying that out loud sounds stupid, but… I don’t know. It worried me.”

As he’s speaking, the distant whine of the main door opening echoes through the bunker, followed by scrambling claws as Miracle launches into his usual post-walk zoomies, and the heavy clang of the door slamming shut.

Miracle bursts into the kitchen a few seconds later, frantically sniffing at all of them — Cas carefully repositions himself to avoid getting a dog snout all up in his business — before sprinting back out, and Jack follows shortly after, slurping away at his boba.

Inexplicably, he’s wearing his Ghostbusters jumpsuit from last Halloween, a pair of teal flip flops, and has Cas’ floppy gardening hat hanging around his neck. Dean looks at him and then back at Sam, wondering how neglected to mention this absolute mess of an outfit as he recounted the reasons for his alarm.

“Hello,” Jack says with a wave, and walks over to the fridge.

Dean, Cas, and Sam all look at one another before Cas clears his throat.

“How are you today, Jack?”

Rifling through the vegetable drawer, Jack lets out a thoughtful hum before extracting a single tomatillo. He sniffs it before biting into it like an apple.

“Snacky. And… contemplative. Have you ever noticed how Miracle just eats whatever he finds no matter what time of day it is? That makes more sense than designated breakfast food, I think.”

“Right,” Dean says carefully, watching as Jack takes another sip from his toffee-flavored milk tea as though he doesn’t still have a mouthful of tomatillo. He’s unsurprised when the flavor combination — and presumably the added texture of a tapioca pearl — makes Jack gag a little, but it’s still gross when he spits it into the sink.

At least he takes the moment to turn on the tap and rinse it down.

“So, uh. What’s the deal with Halloween in July?”

Jack tilts his head for a moment, as though uncertain what Dean is asking, before he seems to remember what he’s wearing. He looks down. Jiggles the buckle of his utility belt.

“Oh, it’s because I realized nothing matters,” Jack says cheerfully, and takes a long, noisy slurp through his straw before wriggling it around the bottom of his cup, where the last tapioca pearl is stubbornly clinging to the plastic. It finally dislodges, and he crushes the cup in his hand, tossing it in the recycling.

“What do you mean nothing matters?”

“There’s no point to anything. It’s all meaningless, so, you know, if something is kind or fun or interesting and it doesn’t hurt anyone…” Jack shrugs. “Hakuna Matata.”

Without waiting for a response, Jack crams the rest of the tomatillo into his mouth and heads for the door.

“Anyway, I’m gonna go up on the roof and read erotica on my phone,” he says, and waves, and then he’s gone before any of them can process that — let alone react to it.

“See what I mean?” Sam says.

“Yeah, uh. He’s definitely being weird, even for Jack, but… I don’t think he’s depressed.”

“So what is it? Teen angst?”

“He’s not a teenager,” Dean points out. “And he’s not exactly angsty.”

“He’s right, Sam. I’m not certain this is even a problem.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Well, I do think one of us should actually take the time to have a frank discussion with him about sex if he’s going to be reading erotica, but other than that, it seems as though he’s just thinking philosophically. Contemplating the nature of his existence in a newly Godless universe.”

“Yeah, and I mean, as far as philosophies go? Nothing matters so just chill out about it seems… refreshingly optimistic. I say we call it a win.”

[written for this prompt game] [find me on ao3 as imogenbynight 💚]

ps: here's a bonus meme to illustrate why my brain went immediately to "optimistic nihilism" after seeing these particular emojis 😅

#deancas fic #destiel fic #dadstiel fic #prompt fic #imogenbynight #dressupheart #replies #cass writes fic #thanks for the prompt!#i guess they're hashtag married in this one?#also good lord this is like 1300 words #why do these words just fall out of my brain onto the screen but the ones i'm supposed to be writing elude me??? sigh.#the deancas of it all #fandom: supernatural

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aerbunny · 5 months

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valley posting hours

🌄 officialtrasheater

its always "uve been here for 13 straight hours" and "dont u have two husbands, a wife and two kids" and "im going to need u to get out its been an hour after i closed" and never "what level in junimo cart are you in!!!?" #GamerRights

🌄 officialtrasheater

"papa please come home from the mines. papa please come home from the saloon we miss u." not now sweetie daddy's gaming

#when will they release junimo cart to mobile #its the slime level btw. if u even care.

134 notes

🦇 prairiekingmaster

anyone else think this thang looks delicious. idk man,, its sorta like rock candy y'know.......

🔮 sewing-magik follow

please do not eat rocks 🙏 they are literally for external use only, and do not provide any of the effects they should after injested. be careful my sillies 🙏✨️

🦇 prairiekingmaster

mmmmyummy sk good yum crunmchyumm yummy dilecious so gooyummmmm bite eat tasteuuuuyyyhey why domy insides hurt

#abby says stuff #dude ik. ........im just craving chips..........giel......okay goonightzzzz

43 notes

🦇 prairiekingmaster

anyone else think this thang looks delicious. idk man,, its sorta like rock candy y'know.......

#abby says stuff #girl dinner..... #hungryposting #u know how starting a new anti-psychotic is

43 notes

🌄 officialctrasheater

yeah i put those shorts in tht soup. i regret nothing. honestly it was kinda funny #wish i cld do it again

#LAWL #if anything he ratted on himself tbh

12 notes

🏛 officialmayorlew follow

🎀 citygirlatheart follow

I dont think anything is gonna beat what the farmer brought last year 🤭🤫🫣😝🩳 ..... Anyone else remember that?

🏛 officialmayorlew follow

Please. Don't bring that up again. It was clearly very embarrassing for everyone involved, and I would very much like to move on from that. Thank you.

68 notes

🛹 shredder2002 follow

is anyone looking for a band to play at their venue next month? ours is low on gigs and i've been dying to play for a group again, hmu in dms if ur interested in an indie rock alt hyperpop queer + woman ran band to play at ur next wedding ✌️🤙

🏍 mechanics420

heres our spotify btw! check our shit out!

🦇 prairiekingmaster

boosting!! im apart of this!!!! lead singer speakin to ya live >:3

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🏍 mechanics420

honestly she kinda ate w/ this

#seb.txt #we're really in it now mx. way

3 notes

#diary #stardew valley #sdv #post simulator #might do more in the morning tjis was silly

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runa-falls · 10 months

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I never done this, but can you ship me with an Oscar character too? 🥹 It seems fun. (You can totally ignore this ask lol.)

So I'm 5'3, a rehead, i have bad social anxiety, but i am very talkative with the people im comfortable with. I also can shut up for hours and just be in my own world, so sometimes it can bother me when the other person talks non stop, but there are times when I'm grateful that they are carrying a conversation. I prefer staying at home to going out. I'm not a good cook, but i will do the dishes lol. I am good at giving massages 😎🤙

ok dolli, i ship you with Santi 😊

first, he knows when to shut up (like a good boy). he's pretty good at gauging when you need time alone or when you just want to sit in silence. he gets it, he really does, and he's the same way sometimes. but, let's be real, he'll still annoy tf out of you at times with his fuck-boy-hardened-veteran attitude, but he'll back off if you say something ab it 💀

AND BOY IS HE A FUCK-BOY.

sorry but he attempts to seduce you, flirting with you shamelessly even though you've been dating for a while.

"come here often?" *wink*

"santi, i live here."

"ok, but -- look, i saw you from across the room and i thought you were the most beautiful woman in this place."

"i'm...the only woman in the house...?"

"well, i meant, uh -- hey, you wanna fuck?"

"-_-#"

yeah...he's a fucking loser, but he's cute. nah nah, we all know santi FUCKS, but when he cares about people he's incredibly loyal. he'd be with you every step of the way!

santi also doesn't know how to cook, but he'd learn it for you. he'd ask his mom for her recipes, wanting to share his childhood favorites with you. he's so proud of himself when you compliment his cooking, like a little puppy wagging his tail super hard.

he's the same way where he's the most comfortable around close friends (i.e. frankie, will, ben, etc.). he's learned how to be charming in front of an audience, but that doesn't mean he's comfortable around strangers. he'll act polite and maybe make a joke or two, but if you say (or even look like) you want to leave, he won't hesitate to grab your hand and take you home.

you give good messages? well, he needs that massage. he constantly has back pain (probably because of his DUMPTRUCK OF AN ASS) and he will moan and groan under you as you work out the kinks. sometimes the pleasurable pain is so good that he sits up and has a raging hard on.

"really santi, again?"

"what? am i not allowed to enjoy my girlfriends touch!?"

"i've been massaging you for 3 minutes..."

ok is it wrong to also ship you with frankie? they just balance each other out SO WELL. like if santi is being particularly obnoxious and needy, frankie will steal you away, lock the bedroom door, and cuddle you until you fall asleep.

of course, santi will bang on the door:

santi: "what're you two doing in there?! don't tell me you're fucking without me!!"

frankie: "shut the fuck up, pope, we're just cuddlin'"

santi: "no fair, let me in :(" dude is literally whining

btw look how tiny he looks here:

#yeah i scrolled through the movie bc i forgot what santi was like #yet i chose santi before i knew it eheheh #dolli :)#shipping game #santiago garcia

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sleekervae · 10 months

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Yoü & I [1.8]

Masterlist

A/N: woohoo! Two chapters in one day! 🤙

Warnings: mentions of drug use

The food was beyond delicious. Maria and her cousin, Andrea, had spent the day cooking up all these little finger foods for the guests to snack on. They were the cutest things the girls had ever laid eyes on and Maria was pretty proud of herself.

Charlotte had a little paper plate in her lap with three little sandwiches of smoked salmon and cream cheese and sausage pastry puffs. She was listening to another guests recent travels through South Africa, not paying attention when Luke would reach over now and again and try to steal some food off of her, just to annoy her. Grabbing a sausage puff with a toothpick, waiting for Charlotte to glare at him and grinning like a little shit as he quickly shoved the piece into his mouth. Charlotte glared at him every time.

"Piss off, dude!" she laughed, much to everyone's amusement, "Go get your own!"

"But Michael took the last sausage puff!" he whined, goading her with puppy-dog eyes.

"Well, that's not my fucking problem," she pouted back, "Eat the salmon ones,"

"Ew, no," he shook his head.

"What if I put vegemite on it for you?"

"... We can discuss it,"

Soon after the party quieted down long enough so they could all sing Happy Birthday to Maria. Afterwards, they cut into the cake and dipped into the freshly-heated bougatsa. Luke and Calum were immediately transported to heaven at the first bite.

"Holy fuck, I missed this stuff," Calum said, powdered sugar staining his lips.

"It's fucking good, yeah?" Luke hummed.

"This ain't nothing," Chloe told them, "When Charlotte's grandma used to make it fresh -- I swear, that shit was better than sex,"

"Do you know how to make this, Charlotte?" another guest asked. The mousy brunette shrugged shyly.

"I've attempted it once or twice, but I always fuck it up," she replied.

"We got to get your mom to show us how to make this," Kimberly nodded.

Charlotte narrowed her eyes, "My mom? Teach us how to bake?"

Kimberly shook her head, "I didn't believe me, either,"

"Hey, we're not complaining over here," Luke piped in, grinning at Charlotte. Some cake icing dotted the corner of her lip, "Hold still, babe,"

He brushed his thumb at the corner of her lip and wiped off the icing. Charlotte hoped he didn't hear the thunk of the lump she'd swallowed the moment he touched her.

The others ate their dessert and consumed an assortment of drinks. Ashton and Michael got into a thumb wrestle over who would get the last bougatsa; Kimberly claimed victory while they were distracted.

"Ya thumb wrestle like children? Ya lose regardless!" she told the sulking boys.

Maria excused herself from her friends for a bathroom break. Ducking out from the party she trotted down the hall and turned into the bathroom doorway. However, she stopped dead in her tracks. Melody was rooting around in her bathroom drawers, seemingly looking for something.

Maria thought she must've been hammered and she was seeing things, but Melody was none the wiser. She kept rummaging around through her toiletry drawer, what the actual fuck?

The older latina crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway, "What're you doing?" she asked.

Melody's head shot up faster than a crack of lightning, her face paling when she'd been caught, "Hm?" was her only response.

"... What are you doing?" Maria asked again, her patience already on a thin line with this girl.

Melody slowly closed the drawer, "I was just looking for some aspirin. I got a bit of a headache," she said, trying to play it off cooly. Maria was unsure as to whether or not she was telling the truth. If she wanted aspirin, she could've just asked.

"One drawer over with the first aid kit," she instructed slowly. Melody opened the next drawer and gasped in triumph when her eyes landed on the little red bottle.

"Oh, here it is!" she grinned at Maria, "Thanks,"

"Sure," Maria nodded, "... Just ask me next time instead of going through my shit,"

Melody shrugged, "Well, you were having too good a time it was kinda' hard getting your attention. Figured you'd keep it in the bathroom anyway; but you're right. Total invasion of privacy. I'm sorry,"

"It's fine," Maria lied, "Come on. I'll get you some water,"

She had Melody slink out first and she watched the young influencer disperse into the crowd. Maria took one last glance at her bathroom, an eerie chill crawling up her spine. Something wasn't right, here. She shut the door behind her and made good to lock it this time.

♛♛♛

The next afternoon, the girls were sat in the airport's lounge as they awaited their flight's departure. They were all giddy -- albeit a bit hungover -- for this next leg of the tour. That is, they were... until Maria told them about last night's run-in with Melody.

"What the fuck is she doing going through your bathroom drawers?" Kimberly scowled.

"That's just downright fucking creepy, even for Melody," Charlotte said.

"Yeah. What -- she wanna' know what scent of Vagisil you use or something?" Chloe remarked, earning some seedy stares from strangers sharing the space.

Kimberly grimaced, "Lower your voice, for God sakes. Everybody's a prude these days,"

Maria slumped down in the arm chair she was sat in, "Girl looked me dead in the eye and told me she needed some aspirin. Bitch, if you need aspirin, you come and ask the host who's bathroom the aspirin is in. You don't just invite yourself to look through the drawers; that's like inviting a total stranger to go through my underwear drawer!"

"I had a date try that with me once," Kimberly said suddenly.

Chloe's eyebrows furrowed, "... And did he violate your underwear drawer?"

"No, but I violated his eyeballs with my hairspray," Kimberly said.

Charlotte cringed, "Get your ass off Bumble,"

"That's really creepy though, Maria," Chloe continued.

"You wanna' know something creepier?" Maria said, "I don't think she was after the aspirin,"

"Why? What do you think she wanted?" Charlotte asked.

Maria shrugged, "Something she clearly couldn't ask me for, probably for fear of judgement,"

"Like what?" Kimberly asked.

"Name it. I got cough syrup in there, bath salts, a couple different painkillers. And if that wouldn't do the trick, she'd probably raid my spice rack for the nutmeg," Maria said.

"Nutmeg? What're you talking about?" Kimberly asked again.

Charlotte shook her head with discontent, "She thinks Melody was looking for drugs," she kept her voice low so other passengers wouldn't hear them.

Chloe's eyes went wide, "Drugs? What kind of drugs would we have? We smoke weed, drink illegally, and the main food group in our diet is McDonald's,"

"Announce it to the world, why don't you," Charlotte grimaced, "Not like we're famous or anything,"

"Sorta famous," Chloe pointed out, "We on a B level,"

Kimberly was in dismay, "Wait, hold up -- you can get high off nutmeg?" she asked in disbelief.

"Apparently, too much of the stuff is like an amphetamine overdose," Maria replied.

"So... say if one were to eat a whole pumpkin pie..."

"You eat a whole ass pumpkin pie, you'll def get sick, just not from the nutmeg," Charlotte said.

"Why would you wanna' eat a whole pie, anyways?" Maria asked.

Kimberly shrugged sheepishly, "Sometimes, post-breakup ice cream just isn't good enough,"

"Yeah, we can't all have a big Australian pretty boy coming over to wipe our tears away like you, babydoll," Maria said to Charlotte. Charlotte stuck her tongue out.

"Jealousy is unbecoming, Maria,"

A look of horror suddenly overcame Chloe's face, the mention of Luke triggering a harrowing thought, "What are the odds do you think Melody does use something? 'Cause if she's using, there's a good to fair chance she'd get Luke involved. And I don't know how I feel about that,"

"Luke Hemmings and drugs?" Kimberly scoffed, "That's like giving double espresso to a puppy,"

Charlotte shook her head confidently, "Luke doesn't use drugs. I mean -- I would know," she said, trying sound certain, "You guys said it yourself, we're practically together all the time. The guys too -- if he was on something but... he's -- he's just -- he's not!"

"No one's saying he is," Maria placed a hand on her knee to calm her down, "Okay? We're not saying he's on anything. We're not even certain Mel is on anything,"

"Yeah," Chloe nodded to Charlotte, "Maybe she's just a creep who likes to go through other people's privacy? Maria caught her doing it last night,"

"And you're right, Lottie," Kimberly added, "We've all known Luke for years. If he was on something -- I mean, I'm pretty sure we'd pick it off,"

Maria brought her hand to her forehead, "I don't even wanna' imagine what Ashton would do if he caught Luke snorting shit,"

"Forget Ashton. What about Liz?" Kimberly said, "Finding out her baby is a junkie? She'd kill Mel first, and then Luke,"

"Why kill Melody first?" Chloe asked.

"You think Luke would get into that shit on his own? Yeah, right. Momma Hemmings' coming at that bitch with a fucking two-by-four and knock those duck lips off her face," the bassist scoffed.

Charlotte then interjected, "Could we talk about something else, please?" she asked, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. The girls couldn't blame her, how terrifying would it be to find out one of your closest friends, someone you practically share every aspect of your life with, abuses pills?

"Sure," Maria nodded, just as eager to steer off topic. Besides, Luke didn't fit the mold anyway. He'd smoke weed, sure, but they all did, "What're we gonna' do first when we get to England?"

"Sleep off this hangover for one," Chloe replied.

The conversation changed and soon enough, the girls were being called to board their plane. And yet, for the majority of the flight Charlotte had a sinking feeling in her gut. Even when Luke and Calum popped by her seat for a chat, she couldn't help but look at the 6'2 blonde a little differently. Her mind was wandering, looking for anything that indicated to her that Luke's behaviour was off. But he was normal, as normal and goofy as the day they'd met.

You're being ridiculous, she thought to herself, he's not on anything. He never would... right?

♛♛♛

The moment they stepped off the plane, Charlotte took her phone off airplane mode and regretted it immediately when she saw she had a few missed calls from her mom. Eight, to be precise, and a flurry of text messages.

"For fuck sakes..." she fell into step with Maria as they made their way to exit Heathrow, "Look at this,"

The bleary-eyed latina took a glance at the phone screen and shook her head. Penelope was at it again with her overbearing and over-worrying.

"Jesus, eight calls? Seriously?" she asked.

"One for nearly every hour of the flight. And like, twelve messages," Charlotte replied, she scrolled through the messages, "Your brother is still seeing that whore. I know he's lying to me. What did you say to him before you left? Why aren't you answering my calls?"

"Didn't you tell her you were travelling today?" she asked.

"Oh, of course," she nodded back, "When she gets hysterical though, all rational thought flies out the window," she started to dial her mom's number.

Maria's eyebrows furrowed, "It's 11pm over there right now, isn't it?"

"Well clearly, it's an emergency. So I think she'd appreciate the call back, regardless" Charlotte smirked, knowing fully well her mother was already fast asleep.

Maria shook his head, "You're bad, Char,"

"I know," she put the phone to her ear, "But I look damn good while doing it,"

A few feet behind the girls, Luke fell into step with Ashton. Charlotte wasn't the only one to note Bryana's lack of presence at the party, and Melody's words echoed in his head on repeat. Ashton didn't often let it show when he was down, he was supposed to be the happy-go-lucky git of the group. Always laughing and joking around, so it was rare when Luke would truly see Ashton upset.

"Hey,"

"Hey," Ashton yawned into his fist.

Luke licked his lips nervously, "Listen, I don't want to get into anything but... are you and Bri okay?" he asked.

The curly-haired drummer seemed to go a shade paler at the mention, but his face gave nothing away, "Whatcha' mean?"

The blonde shrugged sheepishly, "I mean -- she wasn't at Maria's party last night --"

"I told you: she had a thing," Ashton replied, staring at the younger lad quizzically.

"What kind of a thing?" Luke asked. Ashton neglected to respond, instead focusing on pushing through the crowds of travelers, "I'm not trying to pry or anything, mate. I just -- if something's going on, we're here for you. All of us," he nodded in the direction of the girls.

Ashton feigned a smile, "I know. And I'm good, we're all good. I promise ya,"

If there was one thing Luke would change about Ashton, he'd get him to be a little more truthful with his emotions. For as long as he could remember, Ashton would bottle up his feelings on the inside and slap a smile on his face, and on more than one occasion he'd crash and burn at the end of misery lane.

"Alright,"

An hour and some later the bands arrived at their hotel. Charlotte had called her mom, hearing the same grating annoyance in Penelope's voice as she bitched about how it was the middle of the night, but afterwards proceeded to complain to her daughter about how sure she was Troy was keeping things from her. Charlotte did what any burnt out daughter would do with their paranoid, overbearing mother: tune her out and simply agree with everything she was saying so she'd settle down.

"That's the problem with your generation; you all romanticize drugs and unwrapped sex until you end up pregnant and have to live with your overworked parents for the rest of your lives -- rent free!"

"I know mom, I know," Charlotte sighed, slumped over the couch of her hotel room.

Across from her sat Chloe on the bed, sprawled out and trying to doze off. But Penelope was so loud she could hear her from the speaker. She kept her eyes trained on the singer, and when Charlotte caught her gaze she made a gun sign with her hand and motioned to blow her brains out. Chloe simpered.

"Are you even listening to me?" Penelope snapped.

Charlotte rolled her eyes, "Yeah mom, I've been listening for --" she glanced at the bedside clock, "Forty-eight minutes exactly,"

Penelope huffed, "Alright, alright. I know when you're sick of me, sweetheart. Just try not to cry too much when I finally kick the bucket," and here came the guilt.

"Mom, I'm not sick of you," Charlotte reasoned, "But I just got off a nine-hour flight and I'm exhausted,"

"So, why did you call me?" Penelope asked.

"Because I feared you'd harass the phone company again if I didn't," she replied, "Now, just calm down. Troy's an adult and he can do what he wants,"

"But what if he gets her pregnant or she gets him into LSD? I don't want no helter skelter hipsters coming around my house and blowing their sage around!" Chloe heard that and nearly busted out laughing.

Charlotte rolled her eyes, bleary and fatigued, "Mom, he's not going to get anybody pregnant. I mean -- look at him. The kid's swimmers probably can't even make it past the cervix," Chloe grimaced.

"Charlotte, don't be so crass," Penelope chided.

"Well, stop being so paranoid! And lay off the kid! You can't be helicoptering over his shoulder all the damn time," Charlotte replied.

"It's not paranoia, but a mother knows when a girl isn't right for her son!" she replied, "If you ask me, the Martinellis should've sent that girl to reform school long ago,"

"I know, mom," Charlotte huffed, "Look, I got to go but just take it easy for God sakes. Give Troy a little room to breathe,"

"He's not like you, Charlotte," Penelope stated, "I never have to worry about you, you're independant. It's your brother the world is going to eat alive. Goodnight, Charlotte," and with that, the older woman hung up. Charlotte wanted nothing more than to toss her phone out the window.

Chloe grinned at her friend, "... So, how's Penelope?" she asked.

Charlotte glared back at her, "Why is talking to my mother for forty minutes more exhausting than a transatlantic flight?"

"Because she's crazy," Chloe stated simply, "No offense -- but I mean, helter skelter hippies? What does she think this is? The Manson Murders?"

"I don't even know anymore," Charlotte peeled herself off the couch and went to collapse on the twin bed, "The woman is like a damn gas leak. I don't see her or hear her for a multitude of time, but she's slowly trying to kill me,"

"Maybe you ought to get her Xanax for Christmas," Chloe smirked.

Charlotte crawled under the blankets, fully prepared for a twelve-hour nap, "Xanax wouldn't be strong enough. I need some elephant tranquilizers,"

"Isn't that shit toxic for humans?"

"I don't know. But we'll find out,"

Chloe huffed and grabbed the chord to draw the curtains closed, crawling back into her own bed for a nap, "Get some rest Charlie, you'll feel better,"

"Mmhm," Charlotte already had her eyes closed and was willing herself to sink into some sleep. However, her phone buzzed with another text and she swore she was going to hit the ceiling.

"Oh my God! This woman!" she grabbed the phone to turn it off, but her blood ran cold when she saw it wasn't her mom who had sent her a text.

"Hewy Char"

"II miss yo,"

"I'm sdtill down if yaou arey?

"Jus forq a night?"

"It's Ben, by the wak,"

Clearly he was drunk, so it gave Charlotte no satisfaction that he was only texting her because he was inebriated. She could've sworn she blocked his number, anyways. But how disrespectful could a person be? Not only to their ex, but to themselves as well?

"What is it?" Chloe asked, noting Charlotte's despondent silence, "Is it your mom?"

Charlotte felt a cold shiver ripple down her spine. Apart from anger, the only thing that pumped through her blood was fear. The thought of him coming anywhere near her again nearly had her on the brink of tears. Years of forgotten manipulation and abuse came flooding back in the blink of an eye and Charlotte felt she was back in her apartment, cold, alone and shattered.

So she immediately blocked his number and deleted the texts.

"No, it's just data warnings," Charlotte replied, swallowing the dense lump in her throat, "Nothing important,"

#luke hemmings #luke hemming imagines #luke hemmings x reader #luke 5sos #calum hood #ashton irwin #michael clifford #calum 5sos #ashton 5sos #michael 5sos #Charlotte Antonakis #original story #original female character #band blog #band imagine blog #band imagines #boy bands #girl bands

7 notes · View notes

x-heesy · 6 months

Text

SШΔG ΔTTΔCҜ 🤙🖕🏾👈🏽

One: Skits Vicious

If they thought rap was dead tell the headz shit is resurrected

Battle royale, ya wont last a second

The rhyme gets injected like smack in ya bloodstream

Dope D.O.D. is the code for the drugfiends

Grab the frontseat and witness the crispness

Six inch syringes turn innards to liquids

I'm like Keith Flint mixed with Sticky Fingaz

Or a cross between Jason, the Fly and the Riddler

This aint horrorcore, its a Stephen King thriller

I curse yo ass worse than that fat dude in thinner

I'm tippin' a stripper that's grippin' my zipper

She whispers she never had sex with a killer

Life on the streets from the pimps to the drifters

Seven sin sickness, I spit David Finchers

Get my hands dirty and chop of your fingers

For stickin' ya nose in my business... S.V.!!!

Countdown, step into the cockpit

Take flight!

Duckdown, when you in the moshpit

Fist fight!

Sex, drugs, yeah we gonna rock it

Get hyped!

Blast off! yeah we like a rocket

Two: Jay Reaper

Yes ya best believe

Ya shit ain't affecting me

Infectious I confess like STD

Test me please if you wanna rest in peace

I'm semtex put yo chest where ya legs should be

Explosive

My skin is corrosive

The state of psychosis

With coke that I sniff I'm in the state of being hopeless

Hiphop hypnosis

My flow so so soapless

And so

I'm the ghost of the Norths coast ocean

Harpoon topshotta stigmata on my body

Hear the devil say: Hakuna Matata

I'm a goon with a lotta

Pissed coons and we got a lotta shrooms in our system

Yet I'm cool with my kala

Going up and down like sisyphus

Niggas here they must be kidding us

Cause once I start to bust im Darth Sidious

Hart serious

Dark images

The force of the darkside is limitless

Countdown, step into the cockpit

Take flight!

Duckdown, when you in the moshpit

Fist fight!

Sex, drugs, yeah we gonna rock it

Get hyped!

Blast off! yeah we like a rocket

Three: Dopey Rotten

Ghosttown bombsquad we dropping it

We the shit and you full of it

I'm a old dog new tricks laughing at the punks in the bizz there's nothing left to do but reminisce

Still candy flipping got the booze in the mix

Britain's in my bloodline you out for six

Took ya spot easily ya didn't even notice

Fuck all these politics this rapgame is bogus

We coming at you ferocious the coldest hell freezes over we got it all fixed figured out the system there's more then one glitch

Reaper Vicious Rotten here to change the script

Noisia's in the house making atoms split

You can leave it up to us cause we master this

Dope D.O.D. is here just to end your bliss

There's a lot more victims on the waiting list

Countdown, step into the cockpit

Take flight!

Duckdown, when you in the moshpit

Fist fight!

Sex, drugs, yeah we gonna rock it

Get hyped!

Blast off! yeah we like a rocket

End.

@bigbonzo @boanerges20

Rocket by Dope D.O.D.

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big-chungus-the-gyarados · 9 months

Note

Which of your Pokemon….

👽 has the weirdest origin story?

@koffing-time

We're all weird down here but if I was to pick the strangest beast of my gang,

Jellie I found while on a beach visiting friends, he was actually known as a nuisance around there, picking on other pokemon and stealing food from the wild bird mon, but it was noted that he'd only pick on pokemon that were with their trainers, as if he was jealous or something, he just hates birds aside from that, and I left my other mon with my aunt while I was away so I happened to not have a mon he could be jealous of, so long story short we bonded in a way akin to someone petting a wild skitty only for it to never leave your side when you walk away, and he's been one of my most affectionate mon ever since, lil dude just wanted a friend

Yes I have other pokemon and while yes he's adjusted to them he's still the clingiest, can't go anywhere without this goober

🤙

#pokemon irl #ooc: i had to look up respective bulbapedia articles for skitty and inkay #ooc: if im honest i have a light grasp on pokemon i swear ill play more games in the future #i forgot to check if i even had my asks on so yipee

3 notes · View notes

rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos · 1 year

Text

THE GANG'S ALL HERE {WARNING: PICREW 😦}

Julius Demain Pidieu but what his voice sounds like to me. Sadly, he looks five months old because the picrew I am obsessed with had no wrinkles🥺. He no longer looks like a sweet sphinx cat😭

APRICOT UN'AUTRE PIDIEU IN THE HOUSE. SHE HAS NO CONTENT DESPITE BEING JULES'S CANONICAL DAUGHT- oh. Jules has no content. Like father like daughter 😞.

THIS AUSTRALIAN IS HAVING GAY SEX WITH JULES. {Argent Étolie Chevalier is an OC} {He has like fifteen piercings but I forgor 🤡}

Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. Mo- {Dolores Toujours Pideu, Apricot's cool lesbian albino trans aunt that is going to kill me with her beauty}

Callahan Cyra Jumanah is Dolores's sweetheart, and I AM ALSO GOING CRAZY OVER HER. POWER COUPLE ULTIMATE EDITION. { Some people think she's faking her condition -chronic pain in her left leg and fatigue- because she can walk [with a cane]} {She has to hold Dolly back}

LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR MASC GENDERFLUID PEOPLE WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO {Coquille Bleue Pidieu is the eldest sibling of the three and can sense colors, shapes, and shadows despite being legally blind.}

WE ARE OUTGUNNED, OUTMANNED. OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED- {Captain Héraklès Alcides Puissant-Redevance of the RCM is an old family friend}

WHERE THE HOOD WHERE THE HOOD WHERE THE HOOD AT-{Amoureux Perdue Du'Passe, Jules's former work partner and spouse. Sadly, he was killed on the force a few weeks after Apricot died of brain cancer. It was not a good year for Mr Pidieu.}

W. what if. Jeannie-Marie but when she was young. She was able to work around the giant black ink stain on her yellow dress by finding a thick but comfy sweater. She's one of those people who cannot fucking feel heat so she's alright. {PRETTY WONMAN😳🤤 WITH COCK?????? AMAZING 💯💫⭐🔥🌟✨⚡🎉🎊❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍♥️💘💝💖💗💓💞💕💌💟❣️❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥💋🫂🫀👁️👅👁️👀👍👏👌🤌🤙🤝🤜🤛🙏}

Look, Young Renė was a little cinnamon roll. He could make the most "Fuck dem kids" person into preschool teacher worthy in less than an hour. But y'know, kindness sometimes drowns in hate and PTSD. Although, current Renė MIGHT not make you want to throw a fucking grenade at him if you're at the "Okay, you can put your hand on my wrist BUT THAT'S IT." stage. Zero people are currently at that stage because J-M isn't part of the lore anymore. Also, yeah Renė's trans. trans people can be inconsiderate assholes, we're not sparkles and rainbows. I mean, Look at me. I might not be inconsiderate but I CAN be an ass-of-the-hole.

Lieutenant Leo hey uh what's that say? K. WHAT. KITSURAGI??? OH MY FUCKING GOD. W H A T? {<-My brain in the process of making this guy up.} {LOOK IT'S KIM'S HALF [?] SEOLITE DAD!} {Btw despite the resting bitch face he's a nerdy sweetheart that loves cars. y'know like his son. I'm going to cry.}

Cecelia Davenport/Kitsuragi, Kim's fuckin' MILF of a mom. She and Leo LOVED to match. I'm welling up again. Btw she wasn't fully finished because it was three fucking AM when I made her so. 😔.

I feel like Gaston was a little fuckboy in his teens. I mean, he was still polite though and that lead to conversations like: "So uh [Lip bite} What're you doin' later? OH, FUCK you're grandma's recovering from cancer???? That's amazing! I hope she gets better soon! I can buy some flowers for her if it would cheer her up a bit! Have a good day!" Then Renė comes up and is like "Dude. You fucking sweetheart. Stop acting like a charity and get some goddamn pussy."

DORA THE DIVORCE EMPLOYER- {Not to be omni but oh my god. oh fuck. golly gee. I wolf whistle while my eyes pop comically out of their sockets and I spontaneously combust then pour a giant bucket of water over myself and steam rises from my ears like a train} {She's not actually in this AU but I love her and felt like making her}

Elizabeth is the type of girl to try and look professional but still go all out. She finally got out of the gardener's clothes and is slaying hard. Now, speaking of har-

Made Marie without her hijab because I'm a feral fucking animal and I legit couldn't imagine her hair correctly without reference and ALSO

REMADE YOUNG RENÉ BECAUSE I HATE THE FIRST ONE. Also I hate that you can't color the facial hair because it looks like his hair is dyed when he's just like that.

LOOK, IT'S LILLIANOVICH! What the FUCK would this bitch wear when he was a kid? Just made some shit up bro. Also, I like to think he uses reading glasses even though he has pretty good eyes overall.

THERE WE GO

LINK: X

#oh no they're hot #rubin report #disco elysium #send help #sillyposting #jules pidieu #picrew #picreations #dora ingerlund #elizabeth beaufort

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gaillol-13 · 2 years

Text

Soo...I've been working on something, its basically a fan made manga cover.

Heres the rough copy.

My best friend helped me with some ideas, he said this should probably be a continuation to the movie, he also suggested there would be a jojo reference. I couldn't have done this without him, do if your looking at this dude, 👏🤜🤛🤙.

And heres the final project.

I'm quite proud of it, especially since it will hang on our living room for people to see.

As you can see, I kinda screwed up some parts (the color of the building, the glasses, etc). But hey, practice makes perfect.

Heres the translations...I think, I just used Google translate so a bunch of people who know Japanese are gonna laugh at me.

Captain underpants

The second epic movie

"Oh no."

"Here we go again"

Action!

Romance (probably)

Rough!

Drama!

Laughs!!!

And here is an out of context page I drew that would be in it (obviously i cant draw the WHOLE book, i would get sued. And it could take too long). You read it like a normal manga.

Hope this is good!

#captain underpants #drawing #manga cover #cap #george #harold #melvin #ted murdsly #pippy #ser #turbo toilet 2000

19 notes · View notes

hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch · 3 years

Text

Veronica to Kurt: have you seen the heathers?

Kurt points to a corner of the house where all three heathers are sat

Veronica quietly: hey girls how are you all feeling?

Mac: I’ve made friends with the fairies and elves that are all around me, I feel like I’m Zelda

Duke: I’m about to have an existential crisis

Chandler:....have you seen that fuck off big dragon behind you Veronica?

Veronica holding back a laugh: okay girls come on time to go home

Chandler: is the dragon coming too?

Veronica: no baby the dragon isn’t coming he’s going to stay here I promise

Mac: no! Let the dragon come, we can ride on his back and go on adventures

Duke: dude! My hands are so cool! *waving her hands around*

Veronica turning back to Kurt: you’re filming this right?

Kurt: duh I’ll send it you later

I present to you the heathers get high for the first time

Happy 4/20 my dudes 🤙

#heathers #heather chandler #veronica sawyer #heather mcnamara #heather duke #Kurt kelly #tw: weed

67 notes · View notes

scoups4lyfe · 2 years

Note

I have already seen the first episode of Vail special. We could say that having a terrible boss/mentor is a Karizaki's family trait.

I’m going to have to watch the second episode before I form an option cause honeyyyy, Daddy-Karizaki truly is that person who says one thing but then does not a single thing to change his toxic behavior (LOL!)

Like yeah the boss is one horndog mfer for the suffering of others through science (Lmao sheeeeeeeesh) but girlllllllll

🤡

Daddy still walked into Junpei’s room (pre-battle) to gaslight, mansplain, and

M a n I p u l a T e

Like oh no, homie.

With George at least you know he’s a bastard. Dude doesn’t pretend to be anything else. In fact if you said “he’s just some guy” George would laugh in your face after scoffing, says he doesn’t like you and then deprive you of any sweet sweet suite upgrades.

But Daddy-Karazaki?

That dude is the true mfer. He comes off as a guilty human, someone that cares, and yet that fake a$$ still out here not learning from his mistakes

This dude was playing Ikki like he’s Junpei Jr.

Used him as an experiment by giving him the Rolling Stamp, found the Vikki combo amusing LOL until Vikki started going out of control, which caused him to send out the goons to TAZE Ikki, and lock him up in a dank asf room, cuff and chained.

That sound familiar?

Literally some of this stuff is like

✨ Direct Parallels ✨

(lmao)

And boss wise? Homieeee, all I know about Daddy’s relationship with his boss-man is that they’re 100% fking (there’s no doubt in my mind.)

LOL!

Not that George can’t or doesn’t have that relationship with his own boss, buuut since I’ve theorized George was raised by Davy-Jones bitjazz if that was happening then there’s a whole whammy of lines being crossed there, honey.

Like not even Dr. Phil would be equipped to handle THAT mess.

Now again, even if George isn’t sleeping with the Director, everybody and their mother knows he’s def been sleeping with any and all of the other men out in authorial positions within his vicinity. He just can’t help himself. He just sees a slightly older man with any kind of power and it’s like Winnie-the-Pooh in a 🍯 honey-factory. AKA

A series of bad life descisions.

(But we’re not here to talk about George’s bad life decisions, because then we’d be dead before this is even posted 🤷)

Anyway the point is — I think George is in an even more powerless position at Fenix than his father was at NOAH.

And yet out of the two of them, I still think George is more trustworthy.

Like I am serious as sh#t when I say that I’d trust Daddy-Karizaki only as far as I can throw him 👻

and I can barely walk two steps without fainting, so 🏃🙈😔👀🤠🤙👻

4 notes · View notes

ostensiblynone · 3 years

Text

#ostensiblygif Directory

Watcher + Buzzfeed Unsolved + Miscellany

Watcher

Are we hol– It's connection (handtouch.gif)

Watcher + favorite quotes | part 1

Making Watcher 3: Everything’s bleepin’ and bloopin’.

Making Watcher 3: paddington heist & rescue

Watcher logos

Watcher: Worth A Shot

Worth A Shot Season 1 Feb 2022

Godspeed, Spiderman. Your friend, Ryan

♡ Shane

Your friendly neighborhood bartender, Steven.

Watcher: Puppet History

Puppet History Season 4 Episode 5 • The Bloody Revenge of Saint Olga of Kiev

hey, where do you guys stand on revenge?

Puppet History Season 4 Episode 3 • America vs. Smallpox: How Vaccines Saved The Nation

affectionately chuck The Professor under the chin for good luck

I'm never gonna die! hahahahaha

why is the Boston Tea Party the only history lesson Ryan seems to have internalized

Yeahhh! Ya boy about to get some jellybeans

Puppet History Season 4 Episode 1 • The Great Emu War

I have a friend named Shane who had a pet bird, and he ate it.

Puppet History! Rated ‘I’ for ‘Innuendo’

wet

uhhhhhh

Oh my god, you are fixing this in my favor, and I am LOVING IT

Wait, is this what it feels like to learn?

Glitch hidden in the outro and The Professor's TO DO list

Kate: [astonished joy] Ryan: [shocked betrayal]

The magic of theatre!

Puppet History Season 3 Episode 3 • Ziryab: The World's First Rock Star

I can't believe I'm normalized already, to talking to this blue creature.

I really am just destined to lose forever

[snickers in victory]

Puppet History Season 3 Episode 2 • The War of the Golden Stool

So — you’ve learned nothing?

Hell yeah, dude 🤙

Is The Professor doing okay

You just honk the whole time?!

you idiots!

Puppet History Season 3 Episode 1 • The Beast of Gévaudan

[snickers in victory]

Sacre bleu! A thing the French say!

I’m really rootin’ for ya!

I can’t wait... to be within hugging distance of you.

uh, A) - meh! That just feels like that’s the funniest outcome.

Is it weird that I would love to get scared so bad I shit my pants?

Puppet History Season 2 Episode 2 • TThe Terrifying Eruption of Mt. Vesuvius

Posphorus fucked here

Puppet History Season 1 Episode 4 • The Dancing Plague

I’m a history buff!

Sorry, that sentence is amazing.

I’m the Professor!

I should get double points for that last one.

I guess I’m just a zany dude

The Professor getting sassed by a big pile of diamonds

Puppet History Season 1 Episode 1 • Life During The Black Death

I can't believe I'm normalized already, to talking to this blue creature.

The two moods of The Professor

Watcher: Too Many Spirits

Too Many Spirits Season 3 June 2021

you like that? I don't like it

you fuckin' lunatic (affectionate)

[whispering sweet nothings]

friends who schnapp together stay together [heart emoji]

intimidate your victims

could you ring that bell?

Welcome! To! Steve's Saloon!

cool weird uncle summer [TikTok caps]

Season 3 phone lockscreens

Too Many Spirits Live! Feb 11 2021

Double-knotted, asshole!

Drunkenly throwing a card at your bro

*smack*

*smack*, the extended cut

I want that on my lower third, on every piece of media I’m in, from now on. Seasoned bitch!

Too Many Spirits S2 Watchermas 2020

I’m Krampus. I battle Santa Claus. Every year.

The Ghost Of Hangovers Past!

We’re gonna be ho-ho-ho-hammered!

Too Many Spirits S1 October 2020

Yeah, I want that big-headed boy right there.

Drink Number Two, the Shane-Killer

I’d go home with someone.

I like your little barman dance you got there.

Dude, put your finger in your belly button.

This part - I did not prepare for.

Too much spirits! [too much Steven]

This tastes like something you would get served in a bucket

Season 1 phone lockscreens

Pour one out for Steven, everybody

Well, I didn’t know you were already gonna start drinkin’!

I love it, Ryan. I want you to know that I love it. [derby/TMS edit]

the roller derby rockstar fall really comes for you after a few drinks

I don’t have the vision.

BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural

BuzzFeed Unsolved: The Making of the Final Investigation

We’ll see. You might see some emotion from the big guy.

Going back to the Sallie House.

This whole last season, to me, felt like a giant thank-you card.

The Demonic Possession of the Conjuring House • BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 7 Episode 1

But no good séance is performed without protection, so I got something that you’re gonna really like.

The Spirits of Pythian Castle • BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 7 Episode 5

I believe that mustache doesn't attract anything

Season 7 Trailer: Oct 6, 2021

BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Scavenger Hunt reward video

Flashlights (various eps)

Describe fear to me.

And now I’m here, hunting ghouls with my big pal. (Tombstone, AZ)

Bienvenidos a Tokyo

That’s my angle (Season 6 Bloopers)

Strange! Offputting!

You’re not a big breakfast guy.

The Horrifying Sorrel-Weed Haunted Mansion (stills)

The Horrifying Sorrel-Weed Haunted Mansion (gifs)

The Lost Souls of the USS Yorktown • BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 6 Episode 3

Unfortunately, Ryan, this is not it.

attack of the spirit box

The Demonic Curse of Annabelle the Doll • BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 5 Episode 8

you've got the demon jitters

When I fell into that pile of bricks

The Phantom Prisoners of Ohio State Penitentiary ∙ Season 4 Episode 4

I don’t understand what’s wrong with Ryan, sometimes.

Ryan: Uhhh, holy fuck? Holy fuck holy fuck

I don’t really think you’re actually giving it your all.

You know, this was supposed to be the season of respecting ghosts.

I’m not here. Shhhh!

The Ghost Town At Vulture Mine • Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 3 Episode 1

You’ve really, uh. You’ve really outdone yourself this season.

I got scared by rain! Yeah. Yeah, you did.

It was an assbat.

tell me—tell me all about the tragedy, Ryan

I stole your gold and your wife.

It’s too many bats

The Haunted Halls Of Waverly Hills Hospital • BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 2 Ep 4

becoming a ghost hunter - a story in two parts

BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime

behind-the-scenes of promo photography for BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime Season 8 within BuzzFeed Unsolved: The Making of the Final Investigation (Nov 24, 2021)

5+1 Let's get into it

Face-poking: an occupational hazard of cohosting with Ryan Bergara

The Tragic Death of Princess Diana • BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime Season 8 Episode 5

What am I talking about? He can go fuck himself.

(tense silence)

The Puzzling Disappearance of Agatha Christie • BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime Season 8 Episode 2

You're MISSING the POINT

The Mysterious Death of George Reeves • BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime Season 8 Episode 1

We’re all fuckin’ each other - isn’t that great? Pass the cantaloupe

becoming a ghost hunter - a story in two parts

BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime | The Final Season | 06.18.2021

Would you break me out of prison?

Would you heist with your pals?

This took seven and a half hours today.

This is being taped, right?

You do have the vision.

Here’s my captain vibe.

The Disturbing Murders at Keddie Cabin • Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime Season 2 Episode 9

do you tell ghost stories after sex?

Keddie forest post 2

Keddie forest post 1

"Here, let me throw you a bone."

is it you?

Is it annoying that I hold this pen? [pen 1]

Shane + fidgeting with a pen [pen 2]

Shane’s pen + Ryan [pen 3]

I would be CONCERNED if you DISAPPEARED

Watcher: Are You Scared?

What the fuck, dude. That’s the end of the story.

Describe fear to me.

Is it weird that I would love to get scared so bad I shit my pants?

Sometimes your surroundings become a little bit more aware of you.

Watcher: Weird (And/Or) Wonderful World with Shane (and Ryan)

WWW S1+2 Graphics Appreciation Post (Nametags)

Bloopers! Weird Wonderful Edition (S2)

Shane & Ryan Explore California's Quaintest Town • Weird Wonderful World Season 2 Episode 5

Shane & Ryan Explore California’s Quaintest Town

Shane & Ryan Visit A Secret Breakfast Club • Weird Wonderful World Season 2 Episode 4

I am history: Weird and/or Wonderful & Puppet History S4 crossover

Thank you for dressing like a professor with a secret.

Shane & Ryan Visit a Secret Breakfast Club + twitter video of juggling

You’re not a big breakfast guy.

Some people call me the big guy.

Shane & Ryan Are Bad At Roller Derby • Weird Wonderful World Season 2 Episode 3

Season 2 Trailer (skating edit)

Woes is awesome

More Woes skating

Shane & Ryan are [just fine] at Roller Derby

The jam has started!

You survived!

And someone in the stands could be like, I love you, Squatch!

You got it! You’ll do better than I did.

I love it, Ryan. I want you to know that I love it. [derby/TMS edit]

the roller derby rockstar fall really comes for you after a few drinks

Shane & Ryan Go Birdwatching • Weird Wonderful World Season 2 Episode 2

Nice try, bird boy.

My good friend Ryan Bird-gara

Why are you treating this like it’s a drug deal?

Shane & Ryan Visit A Soda Emporium • Weird Wonderful World Season 1 Episode 4

People love chocolate and grapes.

I guess I’m just a zany dude

It’s just a big ol’ pile of mess.

Shane & Ryan Ham It Up At A Shakespeare Theatre • Weird Wonderful World Season 1 Episode 3

The magic of theatre!

The wardrobe for this is thigh-highs

Look, all I’m sayin’ is - hey, love everybody. [Shane PSA 2]

The world of the theatre!

Shane & Ryan Eat Too Much Pie At The Pie Hole • Weird Wonderful World Season 1 Episode 2

Folks, the world is weird

Shane & Ryan Perform A Séance At The Mystic Museum • Weird Wonderful World Season 1 Episode 1

No Bones Bergara Sep 8 2020

Do - do good in this world. Don’t be hexin’ nobody. [Shane PSA 1]

Nametag graphics on S1 first 3 eps

S1 intros on S1 first 3 eps

WWW animated titles

even more nametag graphics

Nametags up through Roller Derby ep

Watcher: social media

Happy Pride from the entire Watcher Team!

The Bizarre Case Of Ivy Kay: Part 1 – Not Exactly Open and Shut Jul 26, 2021

Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej, Ghost Detectives

Walking the stairs, shoulder-to-shoulder

an assortment

important.

Watcher: Top 5 Beatdown

Travel Expert Ranks Top 5 US Cities • Top 5 Beatdown Season 2 Episode 2

Also, Denver, uh, so many prairie dogs.

Pastry Chef Ranks Top 5 Candy Bars • Top 5 Beatdown Season 2 Episode 1

And you’re muted, by the way. You’re muted!

Let’s mute - let’s mute Shane.

You got something to say there, big boy?

The anchor I felt in my chest

Did you - did you have some time to reflect, in the void there? I hope you did.

shane (fond)

Ryan: Still A Child

Watcher: Dish Granted

Bienvenidos a Tokyo

Watcher: Watcher Weekly

Favorite gestures

Watcher Weekly 032

Bloopers! Weird Wonderful Edition

Some people call me the big guy.

Watcher Weekly 030

shane (fond)

Watcher Weekly 016

The two moods of The Professor

Watcher Weekly 011

This is a midwestern thing, too - do you guys wave your hand when you say hi?

Watcher Weekly 010

Get back to work, Ryan

Because I coughed in his mouth. um.

How to spell mourning dove.

Enjoy.

Watcher Weekly 008

Um - a June bug! I’ve eaten a June bug.

Watcher Weekly 007

*eyebrow raise*

*smack*

I don’t ... know how dogs work.

*exuding cat man energy*

Watcher Weekly 004

Ryan Roast | Steven Sting | Shane Shade

Watcher: Here’s What You Do

I think I’m a creative person

Strange! Offputting!

Over the last year, I’ve really tried to stop people-pleasing

HWYD as an album cover

Sunglasses

Competing For Views W/ Shane Madej & Ryan Bergara - The TryPod Ep. 111 May 27, 2021

Look, when you're Superman, you don't care if anybody's tugging on your cape

Just give yourself a compliment for one time in your whole life

Paranormal bad boys, we’ve been called

Gifset

BTW, Shane moved a little

Keith Eats and Drinks Everything at Dunkin Donuts (The Try Guys)

I got puppets over there.

Gimme a coffee!

- and my little puppets!

Yeah! Fuck Ryan!

Watcher: Social Distancing and Dungeons & Dragons

I’m going to grab your skull and throw it across the room.

Everybody, roll for initiative!

Watcher: not a cult

nope

Am I Doing This Right (RIP)

Papa Shane. Daddy Garrett.

shrug.

BuzzFeed It’s Personal

Oklahoma... has a musical written about it

Nebraska: We got the most homes with indoor plumbing

BuzzFeed Debatable

There are two kinds of people in this world

BuzzFeed miscellany

People Eat Hot Dogs While Learning Gross Facts About Them • BuzzFeed Multiplayer Feb 3, 2017

What about you, new intern?

Don’t Tag Me (Brent and Shane)

BuzzFeed Ladylike We Styled Ryan and Shane

Katie LeBlanc in Fast Food Nacho Taste Test

Music Videos miscellany

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn

GIF Tutorial

An updating list of fonts

An updating list of software

HTML Color Codes - Color Picker

#ostensiblygif #directory #look I got lost trying to figure out which gifs I've actually made and which gifs I've only thought about making

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sweepseven · 4 years

Note

How would you rank the protagonists of every cirque show and why?

oh MAN you are really delivering the fun asks. I’m going to stick to shows I’ve seen live (or at least have extensive knowledge about) and shows with clear leads. Let’s make it a countdown!

13. Kurios/The Seeker - I often forget he’s even in the show, and when I remember, I don’t really know why. The show would be just as effective if Klara, Nico, and Mr. Microcosmos showed up out of nowhere, and the end moment with the suitcase is the only indicator that he was ever on any sort of journey at all. I know people like his design but for me he is exceptionally forgettable. Sorry Seeker. :(

12. Zarkana/Zark - imagine being cut from your own show, lol. It’s not his fault!! Zarkana was kind of a disaster!! Zark deserved better!! I actually have a lot of affection for him because I am compelled to love anyone Paul Bisson plays, but Cirque clearly did not share my feelings. RIP Zark. Zark/Tarantula for life. 🤙

11. Luzia/The Traveler - almost immediately this list has become impossible because this guy is absolutely lovable. I really enjoyed having a clown lead because it meant actual clown content was thinner in this show, and by the end he had my entire heart in his hands. The protags that follow on this list just made me feel a notch more, so unfortunately he lands here.

10. Amaluna/Miranda - no one talks about Amaluna and they should, because it’s feminist as fuck. Miranda already knows her strength, her home, and her place in it. She doesn’t need to be taught, and yet we still see her grow up over the course of the show. Any character that can perform a water bowl act in a white bikini and not present even a hint of sexuality is a well-constructed one.

9. Zed/Zed - no thoughts, head empty. I wish I could better articulate why I like him so much but I just do. He’s so upbeat, cute, and curious - the perfect explorer for a world as big as his.

8. Volta/Waz - I speak only for Waz 2.0, the version of him that’s a contestant for Mr. Wow and not Mr. Wow himself. I find this to be the cleaner, stronger interpretation of the show and his character benefits from it. He’s been lucky to be portrayed by such talented dancers that his emotion always explodes off the stage, and even if the show around him is a little lackluster or disorganized, there’s no denying that this is a character you want to see end the show happy. Watch Daydreaming and tell me you don’t love him too.

7. Varekai/Icarus - this dude respects women. You can just tell. When I finally saw this show live I thought this must be quintessential Cirque romance, this is why this show is so well-loved. His relationship with La Promise puts all other Cirque couples to shame. He’s a little sulky for my taste, at least as a lead, but I adore how he shares the spotlight with the supporting characters. By the end of the show you feel like you’ve watched the story about a family or community, not just a story about him.

6. O/Philemon - no thoughts, head empty: the original. Philemon is the quintessential Cirque everyman, and his character endures for a reason. He’s such an excellent mirror for the audience that in many scenes you don’t even realize he’s there - just like you forget you’re watching a show and not some fantastic extension into reality. I love his journey, I love his ending, and I don’t have words to describe my affection for his relationship with Le Vieux. Philemon is perfect.

5. Corteo/Mauro - sir, I would die for you but unfortunately you are already dead. Mauro has got to be the most human Cirque character in history. Unlike so many others he’s lived a full life, and we get to see it illustrated in such dynamic, vivid detail. Some parts you can’t relate directly to Mauro as you know him, but you still feel he’s human enough that you don’t have to know or understand. You can just enjoy his funeral and the celebration for what was assuredly a beautiful, happy, and very full life.

4. Quidam/Zoe - I’m convinced anyone with any experience with Zoe could not resist putting her somewhere in their top five. She’s so much more than a lead - she’s a symbol for Cirque’s greatest work and most beautiful era. She is the perfect singer protagonist, a beautiful blend of worldbuilding and character growth. We learn so much about her even though we see just one small, transitory phase of her life, and every viewing tells you something more or different or new.

3. Alegria/White Singer - Zoe is the perfect singer protagonist because of how she grows, but the White Singer just edges her out because of what she is. The White Singer doesn’t grow at all - she just exists while the world and audience change around her, and at the end she’s there to celebrate with you. She is an icon through and through, both in the original and in IANL.

2. Ka/The Imperial Twins - listen to me very closely: there is nothing I don’t love about these two. They’re so close to the top of my list because they’re two of very few true protagonists in Cirque. They have distinct motivations, pasts, goals, and journeys - they leave no blanks for the audience to fill in, they can exist in any medium, and they bear the complexity of their story beautifully. And even of development aside, their characters are fun and engaging and positive and real. It’s refreshing to feel you know a Cirque character with such certainty, and we get two of them! I feel like these two have given me a lot.

1. Kooza/The Innocent - I can’t really articulate why except to say that you never forget your first. There will always, always be a place in my heart for the Innocent.

#replies #jkthefictitious #cirque du soleil

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