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a03heralding · 5 months

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Bg3 blunt rotation headcanons:

Karlach: does not stop fucking laughing. She’s def wheezing at a joke she overheard in a lesbian bar three and a half years ago while in the middle of a sentence. The type who starts a story and ends up laughing so hard she can’t finish it.

Halsin: mellow as hell, is always encouraging the group to go for a nice walk somewhere while stoned to shit. Will he pass out or will he be caressing the flowers in his backyard? No one knows.

Shadowheart: Sis is asleep after a joint or a few hits from the bong. Is likely sleeping on Lae’zel’s shoulder with a blanket around her. We love her for that tho bc she looks so cute.

Jaheira: she is forreal trying to tell you that we’re all living in someone’s sims save or how aliens made the pyramids. Also always pulls up to the session at the most random times.

Lae’zel: when she does smoke she usually ends up tripping the fuck out and is staring at the wall like a dog that’s accidentally eaten an edible. Doesn’t partake anymore but will come and chill and act as Shart’s personal resting post.

Astarion: the one who is chatting the most shit, probably has the joint in a cigarette holder like curella de’vil. The main source of Karlach’s laughter. Is also constantly asking for Nicki Minaj songs to be added to the Spotify queue.

Wyll: straight up vibes, is probably hogging the snacks to himself tho but he’s busting jokes and laughing with Karlach about stupid shit

Gale: the person in charge of the playlist and the only one who can actually roll. He is very particular about the music bc he believes it sets the mood for the high. Is constantly denying Astarion’s request to play Chun li but puts on random shit like khazakstani jazz

Minthara: enabling Astarion’s shit talking and spilling the piping hot tea. The least faded out of all of them (except lae). Has a screenshot folder that she shows astarion so they can be shady.

Aylin: she’s productive when she’s stoned, is likely cooking something or has gone for a jog/ doing a task while wearing her socks/ Birkenstock combo

Isobel: the mom friend who is making sure everyone is drinking water and is getting fresh air while fried.

Withers: the za dealer. You have to go to his house and he only sells a min of 6gs at a time. Usually chilling and trying to hide his weed plants from the cops bc his neighbours are snitches ngl

Minsc and boo (sry I be forgetting): Brings his hamster to the function bc he doesn't want him to be lonely and believes that his best bud deserves a toke as well. Boo is a literal fucking menace and bites those who object to giving him any. There is literally always an argument bc of this but Minsc is ready to fight for his child.

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toji-girl · 2 months

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pick up | s. gojo

wc: 1.3k

tags: 18+ only - mdni + plug! fem reader + explicit smut + weed + frat boy! gojo + modern au + shot gunning + dubcon + car sex + fingering + pussy eating + handjob + teasing + creampie + nipple play + maybe a part two or something like a series I had fun writing this + reader is a little bitchy + thanks to everyone who voted 🫶🏻

Incoming Message: Satoru G.

1:18 a.m: can u get me a bag and a j? iou (´♡ヮ♡`)

As soon as it came in you turned your TV off then pulled on a robe covering your silk pajamas and stuffed your feet in your slippers grabbing everything needed before making your way to your car.

"Are you kidding me?" You mumbled looking at the text message from Satoru that sat as read while you waited for a response growing irritated that he was making you sit there in the parking lot for him.

It was nearing two now.

Your manicured nails tapped along your phone screen changing the song and rolling your eyes when there was still no text, you put it down sure it wasn't going to go off soon, and began to roll his joint.

Two pink ones because Satoru was always sure to eat your pussy for good measure and as much as you hated to admit he was the best to ever go down on you so you always threw in a freebie, for the sex too.

The third one was your own that you lit sucking in the smoke and letting it saturate your lungs for a moment before exhaling it in a white puff leaning the car seat back and humming to the song softly.

After it ended your phone lit up with a phone call.

You looked at it annoyed that it was an hour after he sent that, waiting until the last minute you hit the green button and clicked the speaker button. "You're an hour late. I hate that Gojo." You huffed.

In the background you could hear a loud party, and given that it was a Saturday it made sense for him to be late. "I know, I'm on my way now. Wait for me sweet girl." He purred, the music and people fading.

"I told you not to call me that, just hurry up because not all of us are partying away our education." You snapped and hung up hating the way the pet name made your belly break out in flutters of butterflies.

Fifteen minutes later Satoru's sleek car pulled up next to yours and a moment later he was sitting next to you, the smell of his cologne mixing in with the weed made your mouth water. "You waited for me."

The joint you rolled was halfway gone already and instead of answering him you gave it to him and changed the song. "Because you owe me, remember?" You replied with a shrug of your shoulders.

Satoru smiled smugly and reclined his seat tucking one hand behind his head, his white hair looked soft under the glow of the moon that shone down from your sunroof as your eyes followed the hair that peeked from his shirt that hiked up when he shifted taking a hit.

"I do. You're so good to me." He teased catching your look as he sat up to lean in sliding his hand to the back of your neck and leaning in to kiss you blowing the smoke in your mouth, his tongue dancing along with yours while his free hand untied the front of your robe.

Your hands buried into his hair tugging him closer with a soft moan before you pulled away to take the joint from him. "Before you drop it, and you are something else." You shot back ashing the rest of it.

He watched you and let his hands trail down the front of your chest until his long slender fingers reached the buttons of your shirt. "Is that why you answered my text at one in the morning?" He hummed.

Silence blanketed the cabin of your car as you watched him until your pj top hung open baring your breasts to him. "It was the heart eyes that did it for me but also the money is something I enjoy too." You replied trying to pretend that he didn't have a strong hold over you.

Satoru laughed softly.

"Don't pretend like you knew it wasn't going to end like this." He purred leaning in and brushing his lips against the column of your neck igniting the nerves that sparked like tiny fireworks.

While his mouth descended down your chest you let your hands reach over to rub his bulge over the soft fabric of his sweats before sliding under the band of his boxers feeling the soft pubic hair.

He wrapped his lips around your nipple suckling with precision making your back bow pushing more of your breast into his mouth that he cupped, his other hand tweaked your free nipple gently.

The weed had your body feeling pliant like clay that Satoru easily molded to his own liking. "I like you when you're bitchy but I also like you docile for me, so easy to mold however I want." He husked.

His voice was dark when he pulled away from your nipple, a string of salvia bridging from the bud to his swollen lips, blue eyes stared back at you with low lids, just like you, he felt hazy and high as hell.

Slowly his fingertips trailed under the band of your pj shorts, white eyebrows shot up when he felt no panties stopping him from rubbing your pussy spreading your slick that was warm and very sticky.

Your jaw went slack when he pressed his finger into your clit before tracing the soft opening of your pussy barely pushing in all the while your hand wrapped around the shaft of his dick jerking him off.

The both of you used your free hand to roam across each other's bodies while your mouth met in another heated kiss, his tongue stroked against yours before he began sucking softly with a moan.

Pre-slick pooled at the tip of his dick adding a little bit of lubrication to the action, the shlick-shlick sound roared in his ear as he added another finger inside you curling and rubbing just the right spot.

It didn't take long for the both of you to move to the backseat with you straddling Satoru, his sweats and boxers pushed down mid-thigh as you rubbed the head between your pussylips teasingly watching him with a smirk. His head rested against the seat staring back.

"You're so pretty." He whispered cupping your cheek before tracing your lips with his thumb letting it slip between them and watching you suck it as you sunk down on him slowly until he bottomed out.

Pretty crystal blue eyes rolled to the back of his head feeling your pussy choke him in a velvet heat that dripped down his shaft and sack making a mess on the leather as you sat still huffing softly.

His hands rested on your hips helping you ride him before moving to your tits, rolling your pert nipples between long fingers as you pressed your palms to the ceiling of the car fucking yourself on him.

Satoru moaned so prettily, soft pants and grunts as you bounced up and down feeling the band in your belly fray until it snapped, your climax coming a lot sooner than usual as you sat down all the way.

He looked down to where you two met thankful you slipped your shorts and panties came off when you moved letting him get a good view of him buried deep inside your gaping cunt that clenched around him tightly making him gasp as you started to move again.

There were no words able to be spoken as you rode out your high drowning Satoru in it as he came in hot thick spurts filling you and creating a sticky mess that almost frothed between your bouncing.

When you finally slowed down you nuzzled your sweaty face into his neck kissing it softly while he massaged your back keeping you close to him riding out both of his highs while kissing you softly.

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konigsblog · 5 months

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roommates gaz and soap <33

tw/cw: somno, cnc, non-con/dub-con, intoxication, drug use (weed), perverted behaviour

all i can think about is sharing an apartment with soap and gaz — two perverts...

roommate!gaz and roommate!soap will most definitely steal your underwear, the ones you're wearing too, from your irresistible body!!

don't fall asleep on the couch, that's a recipe to wake up with traces of their cum spurted all up your back and your panties missing... you always know who took them—listening in on the sounds of their grunting and moaning from their room, mixed with sloppy sounds and heavy breathing, sniffing and huffing.

they invade your privacy, of course!!

you're a stoner? well, you're also sharing... and you're gonna ride them too, right? c’mon! they're so patient with a pathetic thing like you, treat them a little, bonnie...

bouncing on their dicks after getting stoned and high, just because the know how to coerce your dumb, naive, vulnerable mind so damn easily. just a pretty thing restlessly riding them, humilated and slut shamed.

gaz will most definitely stare at your ass, in a way that you feel his eyes burning holes on your body. he'll grope you, rub up behind you and grip your perfect hips tightly, humping you and moaning beside your ear while you shake and tremble in his grasp. he's only wearing boxers, and some comfy shorts that are loose and hung lowly. he covers his underwear in a layer of his thick, hot cum and then complains about you wearing revealing clothes. you're the reasons for his mess ... you should clean it up, princess.

“you’re fault for wearin’ revealin’ clothes, dove.”

johnny will definitely watch rough, loud, hard porn in the main area. jerking off on the couch rather than in his bedroom, so that when you walk in accidentally due to curiosity of the loud, blarring noises echoing from the living room, he's able to pressure and coerce you into finishing off his work since his wrist hurts from jerking off all the time...

you're the reason he jerks off the reason there's cum stains all over the couch you bought. they're sleazy, and needy... and greedy and most definitely desperate for female touch, do him a favour. :(

#i cant focus and everything i write i dont like 🤕#and im cold #roomate gaz and soap #gaz #gaz call of duty #kyle gaz garrick #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #cod soap #orla speaks #tw: non con #tw: dubcon #tw: weed #somno

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rinsux · 1 year

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full marijuana alchemist: brotherhood

#tw: weed #fma #fmab #full metal alchemist #edward elric #alphonse elric

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tes-weed-thoughts · 7 months

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I treat tes lore like christians do the bible, I just assume everybody knows it

#the elder scrolls #tes #tesblr #tw: weed #cw: weed #morrowind #oblivion #skyrim #daggerfall #arena #elder scrols online #eso #meme #tes meme

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sweetestthingaroundd · 5 months

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best believe neighbor!konig would get you high for him :3

mdni!!!

tw: weed, drugs, intoxication, dark themes...

you assumed that you could handle your first smoke sesh with your neighbor..

you eventyally found yourself very, very wrong.

you found yourself on his couch, face in a pillow as konig went down on you.

"take it schatz."

he grunted, making you feel more and more dumb for him as his large cock thrusted into you.

"wan' more konig.. 's not enough!"

she mewled, orgasming with a large sigh.

he adored when you were all high and dumb for him.

#konig smut #call of duty smut #konig x reader smut #cod x reader smut #cod mw2 smut #mw2 smut #konig call of duty smut #konig cod smut #cod smut #mw2 x reader smut #tw: weed #tw: drugs #tw: dark content

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noahsresources · 7 months

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weed & getting high starters

for all the stoner muses out there, because why not? feel free to combine action & word prompts, change any pronouns, and provide any needed context. (obvious) cw for drug usage, weed, and smoking, & a quick disclaimer that this meme is not meant to encourage or condone any potential illegal activity or unhealthy coping behaviors.

WORDS. ❝ hey, want a hit? ❞ ❝ have you ever even smoked weed before? ❞ ❝ if you're gonna smoke, please take it outside. ❞ ❝ do you prefer edibles or smoking? ❞ ❝ which strain is this from? ❞ ❝ it's mine, so i call dibs on the first hit. ❞ ❝ what kinds of weed do you even have? ❞ ❝ this hits so hard, it's so nice. ❞ ❝ you're such a lightweight, it's so funny. ❞ ❝ i've only taken one hit and i already feel stoned. ❞ ❝ how much did you even have? you're acting totally out of character. ❞ ❝ i don't even remember how much i had. ❞ ❝ that's it, i'm getting stoned tonight. ❞ ❝ yeah, you're high as fuck right now. ❞ ❝ you did not just smoke/vape in my kitchen. ❞ ❝ the last time i got stoned, i cried while both eating cereal and watching tv until 3 in the morning. ❞ ❝ mind if i have a smoke? ❞ ❝ you don't have to have any if you don't want to. ❞

ACTIONS. [ EAT ] — our muses do edibles together [ BONG ] — our muses smoke from a bong together [ JOINT ] — our muses smoke a weed joint together [ VAPE ] — our muses vape weed together [ CAR ] — our muses get stoned in one muse's car [ LAUGH ] — our muses burst out laughing while stoned [ MOVIE ] — our muses watch a scary movie/tv show while stoned [ GAME ] — our muses play a video game while stoned [ COOK ] — our muses cook/bake while stoned [ SWIM ] — our muses go swimming while stoned [ DANCE ] — our muses start dancing around while stoned [ TICKLE ] — sender starts tickling receiver while stoned [ ATTACK ] — sender starts tickling receiver while both are stoned [ CUDDLE ] — sender cuddles up to receiver while stoned [ SNUGGLE ] — sender cuddles up to receiver while both are stoned [ PAINT ] — sender paints receiver's finger/toenails while stoned (specify) [ ART ] — sender paints receiver's finger/toenails while both are stoned (specify) [ SURPRISE ] — sender surprises receiver with weed when they're stressed

#rp ask memes #rp ask meme #rp memes #rp meme #rp starters #rp starter #ask meme #ask memes #smoking prompts #smoking memes #weed prompts #weed memes #memes #mine #tw: drugs #tw: weed #tw: smoking #mun is slowly becoming a stoner i'm not even lying AKJDHSKJFH #grad school is stressfulllll 😭😭😭

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turnaboutfix · 9 months

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yeah I'm still thinking about that AA4 auto shop au.

#ace attorney #phoenix wright #maya fey #beanix #ace attorney fanart #my friends have big brains #ace attorney art #cw weed #cw: weed #tw weed #tw: weed #nickandmaya #turnaboutfixart

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roanniom · 2 years

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Eddie Munson is 100% the person who needs you to know every second of what he’s experiencing. Don’t try to sit in the same room as him and read quietly unless you’re ready to hear him laughing and scoffing and reacting to every little thing going on in his own book. Every two pages he’s slamming the paperback down going “you won’t believe what just happened!”

You get up to go make popcorn in the kitchen while the movie’s still playing? This man is narrating everything in a yell to you from the living room. “Babe! Holy shit the killer is her boyfriend. It’s her fucking boyfriend!”

You both lay out on a blanket sharing a joint and gazing up at the stars? He’s lifting his hands up and pointing out the funny little lines in his palms that he’s noticing for the first time. He’s rambling about the shapes he sees in the constellations above. He’s waxing poetic about how it feels like time is stopping. You suggest that maybe it’s the weed. He shakes his head and moves to nuzzle into you. “No I think it’s just you.”

#Eddie munson #eddie munson thots #eddie munson discourse #Eddie munson x reader #tw: weed #cw: weed #eddie munson fluff

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skyrim-forever · 10 months

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Thoughts?

#skyrim #the elder scrolls #tes #tesblr #meme #skyrim meme #tw: weed #nightmare blunt rotation #cicero skyrim #maven black briar #nazeem #heimskr #im declaring myself the resident stoner of tesblr #therefore we need more stoner memes #cicero is one of my favs #but him with all these people???#nightmare sesh

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toji-girl · 23 days

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heyy darling, i fucking love your workajshaljka, i love love LOVE the way you write toji UGH could you maybe do one of college au! toji? maybe when he was younger with the reader and how hed be in college?

18+ only content - mdni

hello there sweetpea, you are so kind 🥺🥺 thank you for the compliment!

tags: fem reader + some smut and fluff + both you and him are in your early 20s + weed + mentions of alcohol (it's actually canon that he doesn't like it) + mentions of pregnancy/having a family

Dating Toji in his prime was very interesting to say the least, he gatherd attention wherever he went. Being over six feet tall and nothing but bulging muscles you weren't all that surprised.

All the women were over him, even though you two were in a committed relationship and they knew it that still didn't stop them from coming up to him batting their eyelashes in hopes he'd reply.

The guys dubbed him the campus playboy despite him not being one, Toji was committed to you and only you, his eyes never strayed from you and your scent was ingrained in him so he knew when you were near him.

It wasn't just his looks you were interested in, he was very smart and thoughtful and funny, while being super charming. Toji never failed to make you laugh or feel flustered when he would whisper in your ear.

A lot of people thought he was a himbo, but that wasn't the case, he had it all, the looks and brains to boot.

There was another thing you really appericated.

When you were stressed to the max about classes and homework piling on, Toji just knew which would always result in your legs being pushed back, your knees pressed against your ears almost.

He knew that this way you couldn't think about anything but him and the pleasure he doused you in, with the way his cock was stroking in and out of your embarrassingly wet cunt that squelched with each rut of his hips that rolled against you expertly filling you so perfectly.

It was always too much in a good way, you felt so full of him that it made you feel dizzy as you clung to him chanting his name.

Toji loved to watch you fall apart on his cock and he enjoyed it when you marked him with your nails and teeth letting everyone know who he belonged to when he had you in his lap at the parties.

He wasn't shy about public displays of affections either.

Whenever he had the chance he was sure to slap your ass, especially if you bend over and you two are in your dorm where you both spend most of your time in your own little world filled with love and obsession that left you wanting more of him, he was your drug.

Toji was a lot of fun too, he didn't enjoy drinking alcohol though

But he enjoyed smoking with you while studying together, which happened a lot, you helped each other out the best you could and he was your biggest encourager and supporter always having your back.

It always mellowed him out, but it wasn't often that it happened, if you didn't partake he made sure to take a few puffs before coming to see you, all red-eyed with low lids that always made you ache.

If you did then you spent a lot of time curled in his lap while you two lay in bed watching a movie or reruns, you and he preferred to spend alone time together, only on occasion, going out with some friends.

For holidays Toji tags along with you to go see family after the first few months of dating and after a year they already call him son-in-law and watching him interact with your cousins made you think of how he would be as a father.

"You know I'd think we have a really cute baby, chubby too, maybe even a few of them." You murmured later that night when you two settled on your mattress that creaked with his weight as he shifted.

He cocked an eyebrow and smirked, his scarred lip curling which always caught your attention. "Don't tempt me darlin'. You'd give me fat cute little brats who I have to fight for to get your attention, you think you're ready for the competition?" He teased making you laugh.

You settled on your side as you threw your leg over his waist drawing him closer, your heartbeats turning into one as you stared at him. Toji couldn't imagine a world where you didn't have his babies.

His hands trailed up and down your back drawing random patterns as he tugged you closer to slot his lips against yours. "I am yes, are you up for it?" You shot back moving to straddle him with a grin.

After another year Toji proposed at the park where you two had your first date, the same spot you shared your first kiss as well, shortly after the wedding you ended up pregnant with Megumi.

Then you had two beautiful twin daughters who completed your family.

Twenty years later you still get butterflies when Toji stares at you, your tummy twisting with that feeling of being in love as you brush his silver-streaked hair out from his face.

#💌incoming #tw: weed #tw: pregnancy #tw: alcohol #some very interesting tw's lmaoo #toji x reader smut #toji x you smut #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader smut #toji x reader #toji x you #fushiguro toji x reader

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konigsblog · 5 months

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cw: drug use (weed)

soap who enjoys a blowjob a little too much... 🍃

the pair of you, drunk and high with your eyes pink and halfway closed while you practically swallow his hard cock greedily. johnny's thick tip weeps into your mouth, coating your pink, warm tongue in a thick layer of his bitter seed while you continue bobbing your head on his veiny dick, popping off with a loud ‘pop’.

the room is filled with smoke while he takes hits from a bong, gasping and throwing his head back. sweating, his white shirt becomes transparent and sticks to his muscular, scarred body. one large hand loosely guiding your head up and down, a white sticky ring around his fat girth.

it's so messy and sloppy -- but he can't break eye contact from those pretty glistening eyes, not from his pretty girlfriend. so eager to please him, sucking down on his throbbing, hard size! “god’!, bonnie..--” he starts before his breath hitches in his throat, choking on his words and bucking into your mouth needily and suddenly when you fondle his balls tauntingly.

“feels...s..so good, god--” he chokes, gasping at the little kitten licks on his sensitive tip. he stinks of marijuana and vodka, the strong smell of weed and alcohol assaulting your nostrils, all while you drunkenly suck him off. you're just as needy as eachother, he's too desperate for relief that he doesn't even notice how you rub back and forth against his boot, coating him in your slick and sweet cum with twitching thighs.

definitely came all over your tits, then fucked them like the disgusting, drunk, high mess he is.

#orla speaks #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #soap call of duty #soap cod #tw: weed #tw: alcohol #call of duty modern warfare #cod smut #cod #call of duty #cod x reader

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arminsumi · 5 months

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choso fic wip 😌👍

it's popular!reader x stoner!choso who "know" each other from college but don't talk or get along, then they get high at a party and find out heyyy we actually do get along 🤨 in more ways than one wink wink nudge nudge

tw: smoking, getting high

#choso #wip #tw: weed

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tes-weed-thoughts · 8 months

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Saw but instead of violence it's me locking Todd Howard in a room until he tells me why he did that

#the elder scrolls #tes #tw: weed #cw: weed #tesblr #todd howard

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allelitewrestlings · 5 months

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#jon moxley #sami callihan #wrestlingedit #aew #aewedit #ours: gifs #maker: s #*#tag team: the switchblades #event: unreal 2023 #aew x revolver #tw: smoking #tw: weed #wrestling revolver #the wrestling revolver

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eagna-eilis · 7 months

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Star Wars Characters at a Family Wedding in Ireland

ANAKIN - Gets extremely nostalgic about his own wedding and makes his adult twin children groan in embarrassment. Is in such a good mood that he isn't even mad when Leia calls him a fascist for voting Fine Gael, and manages to give his grandson an effective pep talk.

PADMÉ - So resplendent that the bride is almost jealous but honestly how could you be upset with her she's just so nice. Gets giggly tipsy over dinner and waltzes with C3P0 afterwards. Touches up literally everyone's makeup for them throughout the night and does a better job than the actual makeup artist.

OBI-WAN - Waits til the night is winding down then magically locates a squeezebox, fiddle, a guitar, and a tin whistle and hands them out to start a sessiún. The sing-song goes on until 5am and it's all his fault. His signature song is 'The Lass of Aughrim' because it makes him feel all literary.

R2D2 - Has at least four too many double Jamesons and literally starts arguing with the wall. Shmii finds him passed out under a table the next morning, wherein he swears he's not drinking until Christmas.

C3P0 - Wrecks the heads of the hotel staff over dinner with all his requests, to the point of embarrassing the other people at his table. Conducts impromptu ballroom dancing lessons while the band plays and charms the pants off everyone with his patient explanations of how to foxtrot.

LANDO - Pulls out a deck of cards and starts a game of 21s in the corner. Absolutely swindles everyone. It's okay though because he puts his winnings behind the bar so nobody has to pay for their drinks after that.

AHSOKA - Brings enough weed to share with a chosen few, like an absolute queen. Ends up hanging out in the loo for ages rolling for herself, Sabine, Maz, Kanan, and eventually Ben. Despite her relative stillness and quiet, she enjoys the music more than basically anybody else and people will quote her fondly slagging Anakin over dinner for the next 20 years.

SABINE - Camera queen who tries to look like she isn't enjoying herself. Fools nobody because she keeps grinning and snort-laughing. Her photos are a thousand times better than the photographer's and are the ones that the couple use for their album.

HERA - Helps Leia gang up on Anakin about politics because goddamn it, Leia isn't wrong. Hands out isotonic powder sachets and paracetamols to everyone before they go up to bed. They're gonna need it.

EZRA - Gets so hyper after consuming so much 7up that Hera has to send him to bed before the DJ takes over from the band. Sneaks down later for the cocktail sausages.

DIN DJARIN - Couldn't get a babysitter so he's tucked up at home watching The Late Late and hate-tweeting it.

GROGU - fell asleep in front of The Late Late. Delighted when somebody brings wedding cake to the house the following day.

KANAN - Literally will not be at peace until the DJ plays Kenny Rodgers' 'The Gambler' because it's not a wedding without it. Once that's done he insists on 'Come On Eileen'. Somebody's gotta be the keeper of the flame of tradition, after all.

CHEWBACCA - Requests all the group dances. Rock the Boat, The Siege of Ennis, The Macarena, The Walls of Limerick, Chain Reaction. Bullies everyone into joining in, except Ben who is the absolute antithesis of craic.

LUKE - Every wedding requires at least one merrily drunk uncle and Luke does not disappoint. Suit jacket? Gone. Top buttons? Open. Tie? It's now around his head while he stands on a chair playing air guitar to 'Hotel California'. Ends up puking in a flower pot. Iconic.

LEIA - Would have been okay if she stuck to wine all night but a single gin and tonic on top of the shitty hotel merlot and suddenly she's having an hour-and-a-half political argument with Anakin. Embarrasses the hell out of her parents, brother, and son by smooching Han repeatedly while dancing.

HAN - Organises the pre-ceremony pints. His sotto-voce asides are funnier than anything in the speeches. Quietly sings along to 'Brown Eyed Girl' by Van Morrison in Leia's ear while they dance, prompting all that smooching.

FINN - Sneaks into the hotel's public bar to check the hurling scores on the telly then reports them back to all the lads. Keeps his wits about him regards alcohol so he can take care of Poe later but eats so much cake he feels sick.

POE - Holds court in the bar, telling long anecdotes about his life that are only 75% true. Dances and flirts with all the aunties and nanas and makes them feel great about themselves. It doesn't convince Ahsoka to give him a spliff, though, because she is immune to his charms.

ROSE - The boomers yell at her for getting the DJ to play 'Celtic Symphony' by the Wolfe Tones, but she calls them hypocrites who are oozing postcolonial shame. Anakin offers to adopt her because now she's the centre of the politics argument. Knocks it out of the park at the sing-song because she knows all the words to at least 20 rebel songs.

MAZ - The first to place her handbag down on the dancefloor so as to coax the other nanas onto the floor. Jovially flirts with every man over 18 and under 60 that isn't her blood relation. Asks Poe to marry her.

REY - Finishes at least three other people's dinners. Sings along very loudly to every song that the band AND the DJ plays. Can't dance at all but it doesn't stop her. Should probably check on Ben because she knows what he's like but decides that tonight he's his family's responsibility. Loses her entire shit when ABBA plays.

BEN - Zero craic, God help the poor craytur. Drinks brandy as an affectation and starts quoting James Joyce after four of them. Gets extremely mopey after brandy number six and ends up having a long heart to heart with his Grandda Ani. Cries then throws up. Auntie 'Soka gives him a joint to settle his tummy. Subsequently feels better and then knocks everyone's socks off singing 'Raglan Road'.

SHMII - Begs off the party at 10pm because she's 97 years old. Still makes sure that everybody takes their hangover down to breakfast the following morning for a Big Feed of rasher-sausage-and-pudding, and maybe hair of the dog if they're desperate.

#star wars crack #star wars humour #irish culture #tw: alcohol #tw: weed #star wars sequel trilogy #star wars prequels #hera syndulla #shmi skywalker #reylo #ben solo #han solo #leia organa #princess leia #luke skywalker #ahsoka tano #sabine wren #obi wan kenobi

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