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roses-for-rosalyn · 8 months

Note

Hey sweetheart, I have this idea about cop!Ellie and cop!reader I've never shared bc I'm so shy to ask, but if you are open to write about it here it is.(sorry if something doesn't make sense inglish is not my first lenguage)

Well Ellie and reader are work partners and they don't really like each other because Ellie is kinda mean?(she is the director btw) but there's a tension between them anyways. So they have a night shift together and on the way in the car the reader begins to flirt, like touching ellie's thigh, and she stops in a field and fucks the reader brains out<33

-💌

This took forever but I hope I did your idea justice!

a/n: sorry I haven’t written anything in so long, life is crazy

Ellie x reader

Wc: 3k (roughly)

Minors dni 🔞 (I will jump through your screen and poke you in the eyes I stg)

CWs: police officer! Ellie and reader, play girl Ellie, fem reader, cop stuff idk, enemies to lovers (ish?), thigh riding, overstim, oral (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), multiple orgasms

—

As a small town cop things rarely became dangerous, so on the rare occasion things did go awry no one was really prepared. You got a call about a car speeding through town at about 90 miles an hour. It quickly becomes a chase with Williams at the wheel. Before she even starts catching up to the car you both begin bickering on what roads to take to catch up and who can read the license plate better. The world becomes a blur as the car picks up speed, the roaring of the engine and the sound of the sirens make it hard to hear anything.

You attempt to shout over the noise, “Williams we might be able to catch them if we take-”

“Shutthefuckup I know what I’m doing!” She yells back even louder, more irritated because you dared tell her what to do. She didn’t even let you finish and she missed the turn that would have taken you ahead of the car to block their path.

“Williams we’re gonna lose ‘em.” You couldn’t convince her, you’re not sure anyone could have. The car takes a sudden turn and she misses it, she quickly reverses and turns down the dirt road only for the car to disappear from sight. She tries to make a few turns but it’s useless, these roads went in every direction with thick woods surrounding them. Even townies got lost in there.

She slows the car down eventually coming to a stop in the middle of the road and quietly mutters “Fuck.” under her breath.

“Maybe you should have listened to the directional advice from someone who was fucking born here instead of trying to do everything yourself.” You can’t help but notice you scolded her like a primary school teacher, but she makes it so hard when she acts like this.

“Please I don’t need a fucking ‘I told you so’ talk right now.” She huffs.

“I hope you know this is completely your fault, I can’t fucking believe-”

“I swear to god if you keep talking I’m going to kick you out of this goddamn car.” She turns and looks at you straight in the eye, challenging you. Her tone is eerily calm. You narrow your gaze but say nothing, turning to look straight ahead. And with that she drives you both back to the station, defeated with only half of the criminal's license plate.

- -

Patrol partners are supposed to be friends- Or at least friend-ly. That’s what anyone would assume, you have to spend every day together, not getting along would just result in various inconvenient miscommunications and misunderstandings.

Yeah, well you weren’t that lucky. Your patrol partner is Ellie Williams aka “Williams” according to her various male coworkers. Her female coworkers tended to lean more towards nicknames like “whore” or “slut” considering she hooked up with a couple of them and then acted like she barely knew them at work the next day and did it all over again. She had to start finding hookups outside the station last month because all her go-tos had refused her unless she wanted something serious. On top of that the few that she got with turned the rest of the girls against her, all she had left was you and all the guys at the station- and you didn’t really count since you were forced to be with her. This meant recently she was particularly irritable considering she couldn’t find a lot- if any- women to relieve any of her tension, so patrolling with her for the past 30 days has been hell.

On a more positive note it made gossiping with your coworkers over coffee the best part of your day. They would talk about their hookups which would inevitably lead back to shit talking Williams- which you would enthusiastically participate in considering how she treated you on the job. However they all agreed that they tolerated it for as long as they did because the sex was good. And you believed them because they had to put up with some crazy bullshit from her. A tiny part of you yearned for them to explain just how good it was, but you’d never ever give in to that curiosity.

Williams- on the rare occasion she would say anything- was mean, she would make snide comments all the time no matter what task you were taking on. She had some sort of superiority complex because she was- admittedly- very good at her job. She had transferred from some big city to your small town station and she had much more experience. She was incredibly skilled at taking people down when she needed to. However, compared to her old job, barely anything happens here. When something did happen she would insist on taking over the task almost every single time, the only thing she couldn’t trump you in was de-escalation. She was terrible at communication and that was most of the job. Calls would mostly be noise complaints or welfare checks, so you took the lead for those and it drove her crazy. She couldn’t stand being inferior to anyone, especially on the job. So you were squabbling constantly.

And for some reason tonight she was in a particularly bad mood. You’re stationed on the side of the road, keeping watch for anyone disobeying any road safety laws and Williams is silent. Not particularly unusual, but her body language was odd, she was weirdly tense. She sat fidgeting with her hands, picking at her cuticles, occasionally glancing up if she heard a car. Nothing in you wanted to show you cared at all for her, because you didn’t, but at this point you were so bored you didn’t care if you started one of your usual squabbles.

“Something wrong Williams?” You tentatively ask.

“ ‘m fine, just tired.” she says, still not glancing up.

“You seem offly tense for a tired person.” You try to push her a bit.

She finally looks up at you, her expression remaining neutral “Considering your observations, you really think now’s a good time to test me sweetheart?” God you hated when she called you that, she refused to refer to you by your last name, always resorting to some condescending nickname.

You roll your eyes, just as you were about to respond a staticky voice interrupts, asking for anyone available for a call about a noise complaint about two minutes away. Ellie picks up the walkie and calls in saying she could take it and starts the car.

You drive there in silence and to no one’s surprise it’s Mrs. Taylor. She frequently calls at night whenever she hears her teenage neighbors so much as talk loud enough for her to hear. And every time she would make you both walk over to them and ask them to quiet down.

This time though when you got out of the car you could hear muffled music coming from the neighbor’s all the way from Mrs. Taylor’s lawn. You walk up to her door, Williams following silently, and knock gently a couple of times. You hear soft shuffling, a lock clicking and then the door opens revealing the grumpy old woman’s tired face. She’s wearing a long dusty pink robe, striped pajama pants and ratty slippers, clearly she had been recently woken up by the noise.

“Hello Mrs. Taylor.” You smile politely.

“Hello dear.” She smiles back at you, but falters for a moment when she spots your partner, refusing to acknowledge her presence. She used to babysit all the kids in the neighborhood, you were always her favorite. She treated everyone else like they were some sort of pest, especially outsiders.

“Neighbors bothering you again?” You already knew the answer, but you felt the need to be polite.

“I can’t sleep with all that ruckus, rotten children they are. Too bad too, they used to be the sweetest when they were little.” She shook her head.

“Alright we’ll get it all sorted out, you can go back to bed.” You nod your head.

The old woman smiles before reaching forward and pinching your cheek while saying “You’re so good to me dear. Come over for dinner some time so I can make it up to you.”

“Just doing my job ma'am.” You reassure her.

“Well, goodnight. Call me tomorrow morning and we’ll sort something out.” She begins shuffling backwards, and grabs the door handle.

“Good night Mrs. Taylor.” You wave at her and she closes the door.

“God you’re unbelievable.” Ellie scoffs from behind you.

“What?” you turn around to face her.

“Would it kill you to be nice to me like that once in a while?” For the life of you you could not figure out where this was coming from.

“You have to earn it.” You retort, while beginning to walk to the neighbors house. Ellie just huffs and jogs a bit to catch up to you, god forbid you get ahead of her in any way.

You make your way to the house, the bass rattling your teeth by the time you're on the front stoop. Ellie takes her usual spot behind you and you knock loudly, bashing your fist against the door. Hopefully someone hears so you don’t have to make a scene, they weren’t bad kids. Sure enough the music turns off and the door opens slowly revealing a set of scared, round eyes.

“Hey Kelly.” You knew her well from the past complaints, she was pretty polite especially for a teenager. The poor girl was practically shaking. “You probably know why we’re here.” She nods slowly. “Ok, so just do us a favor and turn your music down so we don’t get another call from Mrs. Taylor alright?” you say gently, knowing when you’re in uniform everything about you was intimidating enough without you having to yell.

“Th-that’s it?” She asks, her whole body shaking with adrenaline at this point.

“Yup, just make sure this doesn’t happen again. Shouldn’t have the volume that high anyway, it’s bad for your hearing.” You smile, “Probably don’t want to go deaf by the time you’re 20.”

Kelly just nods again “O-ok thank you. We’ll keep it down, promise.”

“Alright have a good night, stay out of trouble.” You turn away and Ellie does the same.

The walk back to the car is silent except for the steady hum of cicadas. You’re about to put your seatbelt on when Ellie says “So what do I have to do?”

You pause your movements, “What?”

“What do I have to do to earn it?” When you still look confused she elaborates “You being nice to me. What do I have to do to earn that?”

“I don’t know. With the way you treat me it’s almost like you enjoy me being mean to you.” You let out a dry laugh.

She slowly leans towards you, “Oh, I do.” She says, her tone changing completely, her voice becomes raspy and deep, almost like a whisper and a smirk tugs at her lips. “I love making you mad, but something tells me you’re even more delightful when you’re all sweet like that.”

“Williams what-” She leans even closer, inches away from your face and suddenly you forgot everything that wasn’t Ellie. You couldn’t utter a word if you tried.

“Tell me.” Her eyes flicker from yours to your lips. “What.” Her lips are so close you can almost feel her words. “To do.” You let out a sigh and give in, abandoning all logic you press your lips against hers. She stiffens but then her hands automatically move to cup your jaw so she can deepen the kiss. Her tongue swipes across your lips, inviting them to open. You can’t really move, unable to completely process what’s happening. She’s so warm and soft and everything you didn’t expect.

She starts making her way down to your neck, exploring your reactions as she kisses and sucks at the sensitive skin. A small whimper escapes from your lips, and Ellie is sure she’s never heard something more intoxicating.

“Williams-” She finds a particular spot behind your ear that causes you to let out a quiet moan, making you forget how to speak for a moment.

“W-we can’t do this here, you know that.” She stops and moves her head to meet your gaze.

“You’re right, we should probably find someplace where we don’t run the risk of teenagers or Mrs. Taylor finding us.” That wasn’t what you meant but it was probably the first time she had ever agreed with you the entire time you’ve been partners.

She pulls off the road into a field and as soon as she parks she immediately starts where she left off. Somehow she knew exactly how to reduce you to a whimpering mess in mere moments. In between kisses she whispers “Take off your belt.” Her tone was so sure and dominant it sent a wave of arousal straight to your center. You do as she says, you forgot you had put on your utility belt for the call, but she clearly took note. You try not to move too much as she continues marking up your skin. She stops again, “Now get in the back.” She doesn’t wait for your response before taking her own utility belt off, leaving it in the front seat and opening her door. It was a little more work in a patrol car considering there were bars separating the front and backseat, but at this point neither of you cared much.

Ellie is first to sit down in the back and shut the door behind her, you do the same and crawl over to straddle her lap. “You feelin a little eager, sweetheart?” She looks at you with that obnoxious smirk on her face, but this time it didn’t annoy you as much as it usually did. You kiss the grin off her face before moving to her neck, listening to her little sighs and moans as you press your lips to her soft skin. The noises she’s making send arousal straight to your aching center and you begin to grind down on her lap, desperate for some kind of relief. She starts taking off your belt with trembling, eager fingers and throws it off to the side. You reach for hers as she untucks your shirt and begins unbuttoning it as quickly as she could, leaving you in your tank top. Your lips meet hers and the kisses grow hungrier by the second, each of you becoming more and more eager to undress the other.

As you begin to unfasten Ellie’s shirt she sighs in frustration, “Jesus christ all these fucking layers are driving me crazy.”

You laugh and say in between kisses, “Gotta make you work for it Williams.” With that she rips off your tank top, and immediately begins groping your breasts over your bra. You moan into her mouth and begin to grind down onto her even harder. Ellie notices and spreads her legs a bit, moving your leg in between hers so you were straddling her thigh. Relief rushes through you as you lower down onto her muscular thigh and begin moving your hips back and forth. She reaches behind you to unclasp your bra leaving your top half bare for her. She can’t resist breaking the kiss to move her focus to your chest, taking your nipple in her mouth with a satisfied hum. A soft whine escapes your lips as her warm tongue circles your sensitive nipples. Her hands have a steady hold on your hips, encouraging you to move against her thigh, harder and faster. Yours have found a home in her hair, tugging harder and harder as your pleasure builds on itself causing Ellie to groan as arousal begins to pool in her boxers.

“Get up.” Ellie commands in a hoarse whisper that sends butterflies straight to your cunt. You climb off her and lean against the car door. The sight of you in the dim moonlight, topless with spread legs and unzipped pants, a fucked out expression on your face almost has Ellie coming right then and there. She unties your shoes and gently removes them, before grabbing the hem of your pants and tugging them down in one swift motion. She crawls between your legs and wraps her arms around each of your thighs, gently kissing a path to your dripping cunt. A wet spot had formed on your panties causing your face to become hot from embarrassment, but Ellie seemed to have a different reaction “God you’re so beautiful, it’s driving me crazy.” She begins teasing you over the fabric of your underwear, running her fingers up and down your slit. A whimper escapes your lips as a silent plea for more, but she continues teasing. She finally pulls the fabric of your underwear to the side and takes a moment before gently blowing on your soaked folds.

“Please-” you manage to whimper as the cool air from Ellie’s lips hits your warm center sending a pleasurable shock through you. You would expect for her to make you beg for it, but she immediately obliged, licking a line from your dripping entrance to your clit. You gasp and grip on to her hair, searching for anything to hold on to as pleasure overwhelms every one of your senses. Ellie groans at the feeling as she begins gently licking at your clit, teasing you. The sound sends vibrations through your lower body and you moan at the feeling, now losing any control you had over the volume of your voice. She begins moving her tongue in circles over your sensitive bud as she teases your entrance with a slender finger. You let out the loudest moan yet, encouraging Ellie to plunge her finger further inside you. It slides in easily, arousal practically coating your thighs at this point. Suddenly she hits the spot causing a desperate whiny “Oh fuck,” To escape from your swollen lips as you clench lightly around her finger. She adds a second, the feeling of her two fingers causes a satisfying amount of pressure to fill your cunt. She hits a spot that you swear sends white light through your closed eyes and keeps hitting it with every rough, slow thrust of her fingers. Your hips begin to move, trying to get her to fuck you harder but she only pins your down by your waist with her free hand forcing you to endure her painful pace. “Ellie,” you whine, “please- I-“ you cut yourself off with a moan.

“What do you need sweetheart?” She pauses briefly to look at your fucked out expression and your arousal has dropped all the down her chin. The very sight almost does you in.

��Please,” you beg her in hopes she’ll spare you the humiliation of asking her.

“Mm mm,” she lightly shakes her head “words baby.” That was a much better nickname, the way she said baby made your cunt flutter around her fingers

“P-please-” you sigh before finishing “-fuck me harder pleasee.” You think that’s probably the most pathetic you’ll ever sound but Ellie obeys. She sucks your puffy clit into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the hypersensitive nub before moving her fingers faster. She picks up speed until you can’t think about anything but Ellie’s mouth and fingers. The pace was practically inhuman, you tilt your head back as a silent scream rips it’s way through you before you moan “fffuuckk,” in a high pitched tone. She continues moving her hands rapidly in and out of you curling them at just the right angle. You begin to flutter around her fingers and she knew you were close.

“Almost there baby?” All you can do in response in moan, she has you practically incapacitated. She giggled a little “Good, come for me.” As her words reached your ears your pleasure finally hit it’s peak. You begin writing against Ellie’s fingers as you roughly clench down on them. Your pleasure rips through you in overwhelming waves, moans uncontrollably leaving your lips as Ellie’s fingers continue their brutal pace. She doesn’t let up though, she keeps going as your clit grows more and more sensitive. You tug at her hair but she doesn’t move, she continues as your hips begin bucking against her arm that was pinning you down.

“Ellie it’s too much I can’t-”

“You can take one more can’t you sweetheart?” She asks sweetly as she fucks your sensitive hole with no mercy. You just nod and she continues sucking and licking at your clit, occasionally moaning which only enhanced the overwhelming pleasure. This time you were more tightly wound up and faster. It didn’t take long before you approached the edge again, the feeling twice as intense. You almost worry as it begins to build and build, just as you thought you had reached your peak it kept going. You finally topple over the edge as Ellie’s teeth lightly graze your clit, the feeling sending you into overdrive. You tugs Ellie’s hair harder than you ever had before as you make a mess all over the seats and Ellie’s mouth and fingers. She laps it all up contently, actually backing down when you pushed her away this time. She leans back into her knees and tries to catch her breath.

A smirk grows on your face as you begin leaning towards her, “it’s your turn.”

—

Idrk how I feel about this but at least I finished it 😀👍

Reblogs and notes are always appreciated and encouraged 💕‼️

Hopefully I will start updating more but I can’t really promise anything lmao

#ellie williams #the last of us 2 #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie x you #ellie x fem reader #ellie smut #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie x y/n #cop! Ellie Williams

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lovingseventeen · 1 year

Note

hi hi !! i’ve been reading ur works and i looove ur writing style <3 is it okay to request a svt reacting to reader who studies past their bedtime ? tysm :))

svt when you stay up too late to study

a/n: i LOVE this request! thank you for sending it in! and WEHEYYY this is just in time for finals week LOL (really force-finished this today to get this out this week)

for context i'm writing this as an established relationship scenario and as if the reader is in college!

seungcheol:

✰ seungcheol has a day off during his tour and he just lets himself scroll around on his phone as he rests in his hotel room

✰ he's on the other side of the world and he's tempted to call you, but he knows that it's late where you are

✰ what catches his attention is when your activity status says that you're online

✰ hey, baby isn't it late over there? he asks, not without telling you he misses you though

✰ aw i miss you too cheol, i'm just studying

✰ at 2??? (he checked the time) you know you need to get sleep too right >:(

✰ you chuckle knowing that his eyebrows are probably knitted together the way they do when he gets concerned

✰ yeah i just wanted to look over a couple chapters though, you reply

✰ a few chapters or half the textbook ?

✰ just chapters 4-11!

✰ baby that's not a few! you're gonna end up sleepy in class tomorrow and that's not good

✰ you're pouting aren't you? you text, but decide to facetime him before he could respond

✰ he answers with his scrunched eyebrows and his face hilariously close to the screen. but his features soften when he sees you smiling at him

✰ "you should probably go to bed"

✰ "and you need to stop frowning before you start getting wrinkles" you comeback, giggling as offense takes over his expression

✰ "hey! i'm just being concerned!" he whines

✰ "okay!" you laugh, "i was starting to fall asleep anyway, so will you stop being mr. grumpy?"

✰ "maybe" he concedes, "you should take care of yourself, y/n"

✰ "i will" you assure him, "i'm excited for when you get back"

✰ he's finally smiling, "can't wait to see you again, i really do miss you"

jeonghan:

✰ you don’t even realize it as it’s happening, you just thought your lovely boyfriend was keeping you company

✰ but to him it’s nearly 2:30 in the morning and this can’t be good for you

✰ slowly he starts to put your things away for you - he picks up your various highlighters and puts them away in your pencil case

✰ then he’s putting away papers that you haven’t touched in the last hour back into their respective folders

✰ he’s dimming/shutting the lights in the other parts of your apartment (he’s really mimicking a store during closing time LOL)

✰ your eyebrows are close together as you focus on this video when you feel your pen lightly snatched from your hand

✰ pausing your video, you finally see how all of your things are mostly put away

✰ “wow would you look at that, you’re ready to sleep huh?” jeonghan announces

✰ “where’d you put everything-” you begin, getting ready to take some stuff out again when he lightly grabs your hand

✰ “baby, it’s late,” he tells you, “you know your brain has to rest to absorb everything, right?”

✰ you sigh but agree, your eyes do feel like they’re starting to strain, so you pack up your last notebook, "you win this time, mr. yoon" you tell him

✰ "mhm" he hums, internally rejoicing because he's a bit tired too

joshua:

✰ notices that you're social media says that you're still active even though both of you said goodnight a couple hours ago

✰ you're still up? he asks. after a few moments, he sees that you're typing a response

✰ yeah, i just wanted to go over these chapters before i went to bed

✰ your exam is tomorrow, right? you know it won't be good if you're tired when you actually take it, all your studying might go to waste

✰ i'm just stressed that i won't remember it all

✰ darling, you've been studying so hard the last few weeks, you'll do well he assures

✰ but i should probably look over this last chapter

✰ baby it might be hard to read the question if you're sleepy, you know what you know by this point... and cramming might just make you confused too!

✰ you seem very passionate about this lol you replied, seeing how rapidly his messages followed each other

✰ i'm passionate when it comes to you ofc, so is this goodnight for real this time?

✰ yeah i guess so you give in, goodnight joshy and thanks for always taking care of me <3

✰ goodnight my love <33

jun:

✰ jun noticed that you were slightly panic studying deep into the night for one of your finals. you ran your hand through your hair frustratedly as you reread your textbook, mouth mumbling as you tried to memorize it

✰ it was nearing 3 am and he was a bit worried about you being so tired and stressed

✰ "baby it's late" he says carefully, "don't you feel tired?"

✰ "jun i can't remember any of this" you whimpered, "i think i'm gonna fail tomorrow"

✰ immediately, he's pulling a chair to sit next to you, "hey, you don't know that for sure, so don't swell on it too much right now, hm?"

✰ he's taking your hand gently in both of his, lightly pressing his thumbs into your palm to massage it and slightly soothe your mind

✰ "you know" he starts, "we can't guarantee that you'll fail, and we won't hope for it either. just try your best first, and we'll wait for the results and just go from there, okay?"

✰ you nodded, appreciating his words. "oh, it's already this late?" you realized as soon as you glanced at the clock

✰ "it is" he confirmed, "and you seem tired, baby.. maybe let's go to bed?"

✰ "let's do that" you agree

hoshi:

✰ stays up with you too, but he gets bored and tired and doesn't want to go to bed without you

✰ hoshi pulls his chair next to yours just to fold in half and lay his head on your lap

✰ won't stop you from studying necessarily but this action does manage to guilt you into pausing for the night. afterall, your test isn't for another week and you should probably rest

✰ your baby in your lap has already dozed off in the few minutes it took you to decide to call it a night

✰ "soonyoung, soonyoung?" you say softly, tapping his shoulder, "let's go to bed, hm?"

✰ he sits up and looks so adorably sleepy that you peck his lips, making his smile a very sleepy smile, "okay, baby" (he's a little extra cuddly that night)

wonwoo:

✰ as a former certified ipad kid, he just props up his ipad and watches a series (with earbuds in) on one side of the table as you continue to study

✰ he doesn't want to tell you to stop studying necessarily because you're actually doing something productive, so he decides that he'll also just keep you company

✰ the thing is, both of you lose track of time, you're 4 chapters into your textbook and he's 5 episodes into his latest show

✰ suddenly, the sun is starting to rise and both of you have very prominent eye bags

✰ "oh wow" you say, noticing how the city is slowly waking up

✰ wonwoo rubs his eyes tiredly, "i think both of us should've rested a while ago"

✰ "huh, we probably should've" you agree, "sorry if you stayed up just to stay in here with me"

✰ he waves at your apology, "no, it's okay, it was my choice to keep you company." for a moment the two of you sit in silence while orange hues start to fill up the sky

✰ "are you hungry?" he asks, "places are probably going to start opening soon so we could get breakfast... we don't get to do this too much lately"

✰ "yeah i'm a little hungry after all that reading" you smile

✰ the two of you end up going outside in your pajamas, just throwing on some hoodies because few people are up at this hour anyway. you get breakfast at a nearby coffee shop, very cozy in your pajamas for a relaxed meal :)

woozi:

✰ he's checking his phone as he gets ready to leave the studio and he notices that you're up because you posted a story of your desk filled with study materials a few minutes ago. he decides to call you

✰ "why are you up so late?"

✰ "why are you still up?" you counter, knowing that woozi can't be someone to lecture you about this lol

✰ for a moment he's taken aback. "i'm just leaving the studio"

✰ "and i'm just studying"

✰ there's silence on the line as he tries to come up with what to say

✰ "you can't be one to talk about staying up late, jihoon" you tease

✰ "well i just care about you" he says softly, and this melts your heart

✰ "how 'bout this," you wager, "i'll try to start sleeping earlier if you do too, you need some kind of rest too"

✰ "we could work that out" he agrees

dokyeom:

✰ did try to convince you to maybe take a rest around 10 pm but you promised you only had one more thing to do

✰ he can't seem to convince you to come to bed so he stays with you in the kitchen as you have your notes and materials splayed out on the table

✰ he stays quiet to let you focus. eventually he starts watching something on his phone (with earbuds in of course)

✰ he leans his head down on the table on top of one of his arms as he watches some videos, but he finds his eyes drooping at some point and just fully passes out LOL

✰ you're so caught up in your groove that you only notice him half an hour later

✰ when you check the time, it's past midnight and you feel a little bad that he had to fall asleep in this position. while he looks as adorable as ever with his face so peaceful, hair just lightly covering his forehead, and his lips slightly parted

✰ so you close your laptop and put your things away without waking him up too abruptly

✰ gently, you shake his shoulder, "'kyeomie, let's go to bed?"

✰ he stirs for a moment, slowly remembering where he is as he wakes up and nods

✰ when you two settle into bed, he pulls you into his chest, a little clingier than usual, resting his chin on top of your head

✰ "you know you can't keep staying up like this, even if it is to study" he mumbles, voice groggy, "'ts not good for you"

✰ you laugh, but wrap your arm around his waist, "oh yeah?"

✰ "i'm really gonna put my foot down.." he mumbles and you can tell he's falling asleep again

✰ "okay" you giggle, giving him a squeeze where he only hums back in response (he's very tired)

mingyu:

✰ you told him to go to bed and that you'd be there in a couple minutes

✰ mingyu himself has had a long day, so he was looking forward to cuddling with you. but he was also incredibly tired so he accidentally fell asleep within minutes of his head touching his pillow

✰ he only wakes up in the middle of the night because he's grasping for you and and his hands can't find you

✰ blinking awake, he notices that you're actually not in bed, and that the lights are still on. checking the bedside clock, it's in fact 4 am

✰ groggily, mingyu gets out of bed to find you studying in the kitchen. "baby" his voice is raspy with sleep and has a slight whine in it, "why aren't you in bed yet?"

✰ "i'll be there in a couple minutes... what time is it, anyway-"

✰ "it's 4 am" he interrupts, "youknowiwantedtocuddleyoutonight." he's pouting and your heart squeezes at this very tall but soft man in your kitchen. his hair is disheveled from bed too, making him that much cuter

✰ "okay" you say, closing your laptop. "sorry i didn't realize how much time passed, 'gyu"

✰ he grumbles something you can't quite hear, but he doesn't avoid your hand that reaches for his. he doesn't avoid you coming into his arms in bed either, instead he pulls you a little closer, already starting to fall asleep again but even better knowing that you're there

✰ "is it still possible to make up those cuddles you missed?"

✰ "you can make up some, but you owe me more tomorrow" he mumbles, "you're in debt" (you chuckled but he's very serious)

minghao:

✰ why do i feel like he purposefully gives you a cup of tea while you’re up late

✰ it’s a sweet gesture on its own but he also knows that tea warms you up and the cozy feeling is perfect for dozing off (not that you’d have any problem falling asleep at this hour anyway)

✰ it's chilly in your kitchen where you're studying too, so hao comes in a couple minutes later to drape a cardigan across your shoulders too, patting your head as he walks away to leave you to your studies

✰ his plan goes a little too well because the tea and the cardigan essentially serving as a blanket makes your eyes droop as you read your textbook

✰ during his hourly check-ins with you, he finds you asleep with your head resting on your textbook

✰ "honey, come to bed" he says softly, lightly shaking your shoulder to wake you up, "cmon, you fell asleep already"

✰ he helps guide you to bed where you proceed to pass out again LOL

✰ (bonus: before going to bed himself, he organizes your stuff on the table a bit so you won't be overwhelmed the next morning)

seungkwan:

✰ he’s very appalled to discover that your activity status says you were online 2 hours ago - he’s seeing this at 7 am

✰ he almost instinctively calls you before he realizes that you probably just started sleeping recently

✰ sends a text with angry emojis: we’re gonna have a talk once you’re fully rested 😡😤

✰ comes over when you do finally wake up in the afternoon

✰ “tsk, i don’t know what i’m gonna do with you” he tuts as he walks in

✰ “it’s good to see you babyy” you say, wrapping your arms around his middle as he takes out the food he brought

✰ “your cuteness won’t work today!” he scolds, even going so far as to shield you from his vision with one hand, “i’m not gonna get distracted today!” (he’s definitely either lying or fighting for his life to not give in to you

✰ "why are you so grouchy today" you chuckled, ruffling his hair

✰ "because someone here won't take care of themself" he counters, only leaving you to look confused. when he sees your expression he continues, "you need to sleep you know!"

✰ finally, it clicks. "ah, okay that's why you're like this today"

✰ "yeah, that's why!" he's frowning so cutely even though he's trying to be mad

✰ "it's just for finals week" you assure him, "it's the last stretch of classes, you know? one all-nighter or two won't kill me"

✰ he sighs, "it won't kill you but it's still not good for you to do. do you need help studying? or keeping track of time? i can move things in my schedule around to help you-" he begins

✰ you cup his cheek, "seungkwan, you trust me, right? i promise i won't sleep this late all the time, but you gotta cut me some slack for finals season"

✰ "just promise you'll sleep at a good hour when your finals wrap up, okay?" he gives in, holding up a pinky

✰ "promise" you agree, completing the pinky promise

✰ he softens, "will you let me know what day your last exam is? let me treat you for working so hard"

vernon:

✰ the same day you were up late he coincidentally had a late night practice. when he sent you a clip of one of their new dances, he didn't actually expect you to reply until the next morning

✰ looks cool so far! you sent

✰ oh you're up? what are you doing so late?

✰ studying and taking notes ~ exams are coming up

✰ ohh i guess it is exam season. i'm coming over by the way he told you, he did this sometimes after work

✰ an idea pops up in his head. before stopping by your apartment, he searches up "good brain food for studying" and buys a couple seemingly random snacks from a convenience store

✰ he comes into your apartment and even gives you a little haul of what he bought. "so i checked and apparently these are good for you to eat when you're studying"

✰ one by one, he lays out his goods on the table: an orange, a lemon, a bag of assorted nuts, and a bar of dark chocolate.

✰ "honestly i don't know how accurate the website i checked was, but you know, maybe these could help?" he wonders

✰ you chuckle but hug him as a thank you anyway

✰ but in the middle of the hug he realizes that the convenience store was the only place open because it was so late. "wait, isn't sleep also good for studying?"

✰ you pull your head back, "it is"

✰ "how about you eat the study food tomorrow?" he offers

✰ "do you wanna go to bed?" you ask, and he's nodding. he'd be lying if he said he wasn't tired from practice

✰ he leaves early the next morning because he has a relatively busy schedule, but he's happy when you send him a picture of you enjoying the single orange with your breakfast. he's happy when you send another picture later in the day of you using the lemon for your tea too

dino:

✰ wagers with you to go bed

✰ he adores that you're so studious but it can't be healthy staying up so late

✰ stands next to you while you're sitting and holds his hand out, motioning for you to hand him your flashcards

✰ "let me quiz you and if you get most of it right, you go to sleep"

✰ you chuckle but hand your stack of cards to him

✰ "how many are these?" he wonders out loud, glancing at a bunch of terms he doesn't understand

✰ "50?"

✰ "50!" he exclaims, "okay, okay i'll start now" he decides, but not without an encouragement of "you know all of this"

✰ by the 20th term, you've only gotten 1 wrong and chan is getting more and more excited with each term you remember correctly. his eyes bounce back and forth from the index card in his hand to your face, unable to control his nodding as you gradually say your explanation

✰ you pause here and there as you take time to think, but you still get everything right in the end

✰ "yes... yes... yes! that's right!" he cheers, "my y/n is so smart!" even standing up from his seat in his fervor. with his joy, you feel yourself getting more confident in your answers too

✰ by the last card, you've only gotten 3 wrong, but even so, you were only missing a bullet point or two. chan can't help but hug you at the end since he's so proud of you and the two of you get to sleep now

✰ walks to your bedroom with an arm around your waist. then even as you two lay together, he gives you a hug, "you did so well"

reminder: to those taking finals this week or in upcoming weeks, remember to try to get enough sleep and to eat well and stay hydrated! it's tough times but it's still important to take care of yourself <3 tests are important but so is your body!

912 notes · View notes

the-fiction-witch · 6 months

Text

Feelings

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts

Couple Benny X Reader

Rating Sweet + SMut

Requested:

Hey fiction witch, if u can see this I have a request, in the show Beth leaves New York and goes back to her house and when Beth and Benny r on the phone Benny gets upset and tells Beth to not call him, after that happens can u plz make y/n find out that Beth hurt Benny and y/n being her sweet and empathetic self, goes to comfort Benny in his house and yk wtv happens next 🤭 if u can make that story asap that would be amazing thank u 🙏

I shifted my hips from side to side humming along with the tune coming from my record player speaker, My hands in the hot water washing up the dishes and pots from dinner. I jumped as I heard my phone begin its blaring. So I left the last pot to soak trying off my hands on my apron as I scampered my shoes across the floor of my little townhouse I quickly turned down the volume on my record player as I passed the shelf, I lost my footing a little on the rug's stupid curled corner and went tumbling onto my sofa on my back, luckily just beside my phone table so I picked up the red rotary phone from the table bringing it to my ear.

"Y/l/n Residence." I smiled

"Hi y/n" Beth smiled

"Ohh, My my to what do I owe the pleasure, Miss Harmon?"

"Oh you know, nothing unusual. How's queens?"

"Boring. But finally unpacked my last few boxes so shaping up nicely. How's kentuky?"

"Much the same" she smiled "So, I had a question."

"ahh there is the point of your call, of course, ask away"

"You've been to Moscow correct?"

"Yes, I have. I assume there is a follow-up question."

"Yeah, I'm doing a bit of packing. I know everyone says Moscow is cold but... exactly how cold?"

"When they say cold they mean cold beth. It's freezing in Moscow. The snow came up to my knees. I was so cold I ripped stuffing out of the hotel pillow to shove in my bra because I was convinced my nipples would freeze off. and that's coming from a New York girl" I laughed "Pack for ice. Pack for snow. Pack for seeing your breath inside buildings."

"Really?"

"If you're too hot you can always take layers off," I explained

"Fair enough,"

"That all?"

"I had something else to ask too"

"Sure, fire away."

"Did you... Like to fuck Benny?"

"That's a bold question for six pm"

"But did you, when you two were... together?"

I laughed "My darling Elizabeth. Me and Benny never have been... together. Not officially anyway."

"But when you did. Did you like to?"

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"You can say every time you've had sex you liked it? sometimes stuff's just shit"

"But other than those times"

"I did. Course I did. Benny... is a complicated man"

"How so?"

"Because he's Benny" I laugh "He's weird, he thinks fifteen steps ahead at any one moment, he's passionate and dedicated with an ego big enough to fly himself to Moscow and back, but he's also... you know a man. so he's blunt and simple, and can't see a hint five inches in front of his face." I explained, "Why?"

"I think. it might be over."

"Over? Did it ever begin?"

"I mean... kinda. sort of. It's complicated."

"Beth. What happened?"

"So you know how Benny's been bugging me to come to New York"

"Yes. Because he misses you. That's his way of saying that."

"Yeah he even told me"

"He told you he missed you?"

"Yes"

"And you did what?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing!"

"Yeah I mean we called a little more but not much else. and I kinda... pissed him off"

"What did you do?"

"I gave the church the money back. I tried to ask him for money. if he wants to come he can help me pay for it right? he flipped out and told me not to call him again. That was... two days ago and he won't answer the phone. Guess I'm just kinda..."

"You're serious?" I sighed

"Yeah."

"Okay... I have not got time to deal with you" I sighed sitting up normally "All I'm gonna say is you've fucked up Beth. And I am going to clean this up, not because I want to help you. But because I care too much about Benny. I will call you later and we will have a chat" I told her before hanging up the phone

"Fuck..." I sighed "Harmon, you do make my life difficult" I grabbed the phone again and dialled the number for the Brooklyn basement listening to it ring but no answer, I tried again but still no answer, I gave it one more try but still no answer.

I gave up setting the phone back on the receiver and I got to my feet untieing my apron throwing it on the kitchen table grabbing my handbag making sure to grab my spare key. changing my shoes and slipping on my gloves before rushing out locking up my front door as I scampered down the steps of the stoop I unlocked the door on my little red mini threw my bag on the passenger seat quickly started the car up and scampered through the New York streets using all the little cut thoughts I knew to travel the six miles from my townhouse in queens to the basement in Brooklyn. I pulled my mini up behind the little blue Beatle parked and grabbed my bag climbing out of the car and heading down the little foul-smelling stairwells until I finally reached the metal door giving it a firm few taps. No answer came. but I could hear noises from within. I knocked much louder but still no answer came.

I rolled my eyes grabbed the spare key from my handbag forced it into the lock and opened the door shutting it behind me immediately I could tell things weren't good.

This apartment was dark, gloomy and damp as usual, bottles littered his table enough you could use them as pieces in a chess game, and things haphazardly moved around the apartment. And Benny amongst it all. Barefoot. Black jeans tight to his body, his belt gone, his black turtleneck on with his sleeves rolled up, frustration across his face, a beer in hand that he finished and there across his apartment smashing it on the wall.

“Benny?”

He ran a hand through his hair and glanced up at me “Hey y/n.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I'm fine” he snapped grabbing a cigarette from his table setting it in his mouth and lighting it up with his old Zippo

“Benny.” I glared

“I'm fine.” He snapped

“Beth called me.”

“Did she now? You come down to tell me I'm an asshole”

“I don't make judgements till I hear both sides” I answered “So, tell me what happened.”

“So it fucking -”

“Calmly.”

“It's over. I'm done with her. I have put up with so much shit from her. She treats me like a doormat, and only calls me when she needs something. Well she can go fuck herself” he says pacing around his apartment

“Okay, what exactly happened?”

“She gave the money back. Asked me to pay for us. She ignored everything I told her. All because she didn't want to sign some worthless bit of paper. Now I can't go to Moscow with her. Fine, she clearly didn't want me with her anyway.”

“Alright, and you told her?”

“I told her not to call me again. She wants to do this on her own fine. She can. She won't hear a word from me, but she can fuck off if she wants anything.”

“You've been ignoring calls?”

“I didn't exactly feel like talking right now”

“Alright, go get changed and I'll make you some tea”

“I don't -”

“Benny. Don't make me bonk you with a spoon”

“Fine I will get changed” he sighed going to his room “and make coffee.”

“No tea. Coffee will keep you up and you do not need more energy right now” I explained going and making some nice tea one for me and one for Benny taking and sitting them both on the small table in the centre of the living space, as well as a glass of water I took a small dustpan and brush from the cabinet and cleaned up the broken glass from the bottle as well as any other little mess that littered the apartment. I went to the small record player beside the chair and for a moment flipped through his small collection grabbing a nice album of some gentle swing music adding it to the player letting it spin and turning it down to almost nothing, and I took a seat on the pile of pillows he used as a sofa. Soon enough he returned with a fresh set of clothes, some new jeans, a black T-shirt and his green button-down

“There you feel a little better now?”

“It is nice to have some fresh clothes on” he grunted back

“Come on” I offered patting the pillow beside me

“I'm not in the mood y/n”

“Benny. Come here.”

He rolled his eyes but came and sat beside me still as angry and frustrated as before leaning his head against the exposed bricks

“Good, now when did you last drink something?”

“I'm not thirsty”

“Did I ask that?”

“No”

“When did you last drink something? You're only going to give yourself a headache” I told him, offering him the water but he turned away “Hydrate. Or I will hit you with a spoon”

He took the glass and had a sizable sip

“Thank you, now come here and talk it out”

“Y/n I know you mean well but I’m-”

“I will get the spoon in a minute.” I warn “Come” I demanded patting my thigh

He rolled his eyes but leant over so I wrapped my arms around him letting him lay his head in my lap “I don't see how this is going to help”

“You need to acknowledge and work through your feelings”

“I don't have feelings. I'm a man.”

“Ohh no you don't have feelings. That's why you've been spending your days in a dark basement drinking like a fish and frustrated smoking. No feelings at all” I smiled gently petting his soft fluffy hair

“I don't need to work through my feelings.”

“Yes, you do. Otherwise, you're just going to be angry forever. And god knows I can't deal with that” I laughed

“Fine” he sighed

“Take a moment just to clear the brain” I smiled playing with his hair in all the usual spots he liked me too

“My brain doesn’t clear.”

“Then hyperfocus. On the ticking of the clock, the nice gentle music, clear the mind of all other things and just exist for a moment”

We sat for a few moments just enjoying the quiet of his basement, the gentle hum of the music and the rhythm of our breaths

“Okay” He nods sounding far calmer than before

“That help?”

“A little”

“Okay do a Big breath in.”

“Why do I-”

“Benny” I warned so he did as I asked “Big breath in. And back out. Another one in… and another out. Okay? Feel a little better?” I smiled walking him through it a few times

“A bit”

“Are you calmer?”

“Somewhat”

“So, tell me what happened”

“You going to tell me when I’m wrong?”

“No. I'm not going to say anything you just explain and I will listen.”

“I try asking her for months to come up to New York, actually spend some time together, no she's busy she needs to do this, she needs to do that, she ghosts me for six months, okay I try asking to go to Paris with her support her with the tournament, no she's going on her own, she can't afford to take me too, so fine she goes on her own only when she's fucked herself up so bad she looses her tournament and has headlines everywhere she was drunk as a sailor then! I got a call. I try to be supportive and offer to pick her up from the airport. No, she wants to be alone. I try to talk her through everything and offer her a safe space, so we can be together and work stuff out, no she wants to be alone. She wants to drink. Fine, I try! I try and say she can drink so long as she came here no she wants to go and get drunk. She goes home to Kentucky and ghosts me again. She calls me finally because she wants my advice and again I try to get her to come here, I try and be nice hell I told her I fucking missed her nope she wants to stay on her own meaning she wants to fucking drink. And again I'm ghosted. She completely ignores what I tell her to do. She gives the church their money and calls me up like I'm the problem! Like I haven't spent the last year waiting for your phone calls like some abandoned puppy! Says she's paying her own way to Moscow and can't afford to take me with her, if I wanna come I need to pay, when she knows full well I don't have two thousand dollars laying around to jet off to Moscow. Accused me of gambling it all away. So fuck it. Fuck her. She wants to go and her drunk and fuck her life up that's her decision she's not taking me down with her. I'm not staying as her fucking doormat fuck to treat her how she wants. If she'd rather get drunk than be with me fine I hope she and her bottle are happy”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Like shit.”

“Benny, feelings are not shit. use your words. Not just your swears.”

“Like… why should I bother you know? Like I'm trying so so much and you're giving absolutely nothing back. And that makes me feel like I'm the asshole for wanting anything”

“You're not an asshole for wanting acknowledgement Benny. You've done a lot for Beth and it's not easy for you to be emotionally numerable”

“Exactly! It's like you bare your fucking soul to someone and their response is okay cool. What else? Like I don't know what more you want from me. Am I being a dick? Asking for too much or something?”

“I don't think so, I do think you also need to respect Beth is also not an emotional person. The two of you aren't going to have a great emotional conversation because neither of you are good emotional communicators and that's fine some people aren't, but it would seem you are putting a lot of effort in, now Beth may not see it as a lot of effort in her mind and may not be seeing how much effort that Is for you and not appreciate it as much or it could be that she just expects more. and if you can't give her that then you can't there's nothing wrong with that Benny”

“Do you think I'm an emotionally distant person?”

“You can be. You're… very practical Benny. You're emotional to the extent of practically, when emotions aren't useful you don't bother to express them. But I do think you not in the wrong here you've made a lot of moves to be more outwardly expressive and it was clear you were upset long before this” I explained “I think, and of course, you don't need to take my advice. But I think you and Beth need time apart I think you both need to not see one another, not speak to one another, for a couple of weeks I think you both need to separately decide the kind of relationship you want together. If you want to have the kind of relationship where you call every other day and talk or if you want a relationship where you talk every six months how much emotional investment you each have needs to be equal and it clearly isn't so I think spend time apart to think and when she gets back from Moscow you two need to talk and see where you go from here.”

“... Your right.” He sighed sitting up “Where did you learn all this stuff anyway?” He asks having some tea

“Therapy. You know that thing I keep telling you to go to”

“I don't need therapy”

“Everyone needs therapy, Benny.”

“I don’t”

“Yes, you do.” I told him “You have a lot of untapped emotional issues rattling around in that big head of yours” I told him having some tea “And I’m boarder line convinced you have… some type of-”

“No I don’t” he snapped

“Benny you hyperfocus on chess, don’t understand your own emotions, freak out when someone tries to touch your skin, and use your rings like fidget toys… and you don’t think there might be a possibility you could have some form of -”

“No.”

“Fine, fine. I’m not going to argue with you” I giggled “You should go to therapy though Benny.”

“Ohh what because I have ‘emotional trauma’?”

“Yes. you do.” I told him “Even if it's just having someone to talk to, to rant about your problems”

“That's why I have you”

“I'm not your therapist Benny”

“Sorry”

“It's fine” I smiled pressing a kiss to the top of his head “You really liked her didn't you?”

“I did. I kinda thought we were the same. Maybe we're too much alike”

“Do you think maybe… you're seeing the bad things in Beth that you see in yourself?”

“Kinda. I think it's … made me realize how bad it is to be on that side of it. To be the one waiting by the phone on the promise of a call that never comes. I think I'm .. trying though. I can see how bad it is and in trying to fix it but just feels like bailing a bucket out a lake”

“Well, baby steps. Just the fact you see it and are making steps is still better. You're never going to bail the lake if you don't start with a bucket”

“I guess so. It makes me wonder… how she sees me. I know officially we didn't label anything but, I kinda think she just saw me as a chessboard that could make her cum”

“What did you want her to be?”

“....I don't know. Guess I wanted someone to call. Someone to spend time with. Someone who wants to talk to me. Listens to me. Makes me feel like what I say makes a difference. Like I Matter to them. Someone who gets excited about spending time with me, who wants to be with me not because we might play chess or we might have sex but just because we like being together”

“You ever tell her that?”

“No.”

“Then … you can't expect her to give you that Benny. She's not a mind reader. She doesn't know that's what you want same as you don't know what she wants. You two are both people not great at emotions be the best course is to straight forward sit her down and say that's what you want and if that's not what she wants you can either try to find a middle ground or that can be it”

“Your right. But I don't want to see her. Or talk to her. I don't completely want to think about her but there's no getting out of that” he explained lighting another cigarette “But I'm done. Unless she's willing to try I don't want anything more than to be her friend”

“If that's what you want. That's what you want” I smiled taking the cigarette from him putting it out in the table’s ashtray “You’re not smoking because you want it you smoking because your frustrated.” I laughed

“Your therapist tell you that too?”

“No. I just know you, Benny. Besides you’ve been doing really good. Don’t destroy all your progress just because you’re mad” I told him

“You rather I drink?”

“I’d rather you have healthy coping mechanisms but you know… baby steps.” I smiled “You feel a bit better? Got all that off your chest?”

“Yeah. Thanks y/n.”

“Your welcome” I smirked having some tea “It's kinda funny”

“What is?”

“That's exactly what I wanted. Back when we …”

“Really?” He asks

“Yeah. I'd have killed for you to want to spend time with me without it seeming like I was dragging you away from something you wanted to do more”

“.... Fuck. I was a dick.”

“You kinda were.” I laughed “But we wanted different things that's okay”

“I feel like shit. Maybe things would be different if I figured out this is what I wanted”

“Maybe” I shrug “But you didn’t want that then that’s fine you can change your mind as life changes, that wasn’t the sort of thing you wanted then”

“You’re a very emotional person. I think I struggled with that”

“I can be… overly emotional. In working on it. Trying not to overthink everything so much.” I said “How do you think it felt for me sitting here miles deep in overthinking as to why you weren’t talking to me, that you were mad, that I did something wrong, all the while you just sat there playing chess completely unaware I was even upset being quiet because… you like to sit quietly.”

“I saw you were upset… when it was too late. By the time I picked up on it you crying so far down an emotional rabbit hole even if I did know How to deal with it, it was kinda too late”

“And yes that is on you for not noticing my emotions but also on me for not being clearer with them, literally could have fixed all my overthinking with, Benny are you mad at me? But no I wanted to sit there pouting getting more and more anxious waiting for you to figure out that I was worried.”

“I always felt like a dick for asking you what was wrong,”

“Because I wanted you to pick up on it. I didn’t want to tell you I just wanted you to pick up and fix it. And that's on me. That was my issue and I’m getting better. Can’t expect people to know everything. But you're getting better too, learning when people are upset being more outwardly emotional if you need a little coaxing.”

“Or threatening”

“Everyone is different Benny. The sooner you realize that the easier life is. Everyone you speak to, and everyone you see is completely different we all think differently, behave differently, and have different responses to things, and no one can read minds. We all need to give each other a little more slack because we don't know what's going on in their head and they'll never know what's happening in ours. Some people can read emotions across your face like a book, some people need to be told or they'll never learn. I was an emotionally overthinking young woman craving emotional intimacy without having to ask for it. While being in a non-official relationship with a man who can't read emotions, has a hard time expressing his feelings and craves reassurance. On top of the very basic one, what's to fuck one wants to love problem. You surprised it went south?”

“I crave reassurance?”

“Benny. You're a chess player who dresses like a goth pirate.”

“Point taken”

“It's fine people grow and change neither of us are the people we were then”

“That's true” he nods “Can I get the number for your therapist?”

“Why?”

“He sounds good. The fact you rattled all that off is pretty impressive”

“Find your own therapist. Don't want conflicts of interest”

For a moment he was puzzled “You talk about me in therapy?”

“Yeah”

“God was I that much of a cunt?”

“No. You’re my friend. Our lives are very intertwined is all” I laughed leaning on his shoulder

“that’s fair” he laughed “... Do you think I ask for too much? With Beth?”

“I think… you ask for more than she's comfortable with. Let's face it Benny your fighting against an addiction. You might have an ego and you might love chess but you're not physically addicted to it”

“I just feel like in trying so hard, pushing myself so far beyond what I'd normally be comfortable with the least she can do is try”

“if that's how you feel. Then I think she should respond to that”

“I'm not a dick?”

“I don't think so” I smiled

“Thanks y/n. I'm really thankful you came over”

“Well I can't just leave you someone has to try and get you through these gross… feelings you're not used to”

“Can you stay?”

“What?”

“Can you stay? I don't think I wanna be on my own tonight”

“Of course Benny”

We stayed up a little long chatting about things but soon it came time for bed he put up the air bed for himself and I took his bed even if I argued but he let me have it.

I changed borrowing one of his shirts for the night getting cosy in the warm bed.

The lights out the only sound the occasional sound of the New York cars above the basement.

I was about to drift off when I perked up hearing the creek of the door and soon enough the covers moved and Benny crawled in with me

“Hi”

“Did you want your own bed back?”

“No, I just… I don't wanna be alone right now” he says slowly wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tight to his body my hips to his my back to his chest squeezing me almost like I was his teddy bear

“Okay Benny, you don't need to worry I'll be right here,” I reassured letting him squeeze me tightly to his body, he held me tight pressing his lips to my shoulder

“Can I get my anger out?” He asked

“Alright” I nodded

He moved and pushed me down on my back “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” I nodded

He nodded and leant down to nibble and kiss my neck, before he pulled down his boxers and tugged off my panties, he started off gently slipping himself inside me he held my hips firmly digging his nails into my skin as he aggressively thrusted, often bitting his lips and gritting his teeth letting out his frustration and anger though the movement of his hips. He began to slow so I smiled and held his hips gently turning us so he laid on his back and I sat on top of him gently moving my hips slowly “Reveling in your anger is not going to make you feel better” I smiled stroking his stomach as I moved

“I know. I just wanted to get the anger out” he sighed moving his hips with me

“Wouldn’t this be nicer?”

“It is much nicer.” he smiled “Nice and calming” He cooed sitting up a little and wrapping his arms around me to pull me into his chest for an intense kiss I smiled into the kiss as I moved my hips faster trying to match his own speed getting more and more intense the longer it went on I knew I was close starting to nibble on his neck as I began to slow getting close to my edge he noticed and smirked making sure to work as hard as he could letting out the last of his frustration until I reached my peak biting his neck as I did which in turn got him to his own edge burying himself deep inside me and riding it out before he collapsed against the bed and I basically fell off onto the other side

“Feel better now Benny?”

“Yeah” he nods between gasps “That is way better than therapy”

“They're not mutually exclusive Benny.”

“I still think this is better”

“You can’t just ignore your feelings and deal with your frustrations through sex” I told him

He smirked and turned over to spoon me “Did it work?”

“...yes but?”

“Did it work?”

“Yes.”

“Then I'm gonna do it” he shrugs

“Alright Benny, if that’s how you wanna deal with your feelings” I laughed “Come on, let's get some sleep”

“Alright, Night”

“Night” I smiled giving him a little kiss before we cuddled up and drifted off to sleep.

I yawned as I woke up I gently pushed Benny’s arms off me climbed out the bed and headed across the apartment, I went to the kitchen and began to make coffee humming to myself a little.

“Morning,” Benny spoke up from the bedroom door

“Morning, How are you feeling today?”

“Better. Much better” he smiled coming and wrapping his arms around me giving my neck some kisses “You always make me feel better”

“I do?”

“You do. I’m sorry”

“For what?”

“For being a dick, when we…” he began “I realize it and I’m sorry”

“That's very sweet. Apology accepted. I’m sorry for how I was too”

“Apology accepted” he smiled

“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with the shit from Beth”

“It’s fine. I know how to deal with it”

“Oh?”

“She can find another doormat. She wants to drink and wants to go on her own she can. I don’t want that. We can be friends if she wants but nothing more than that. I don’t feel like I want anything more”

“Okay. I’m proud of you, for expressing your feelings” I smiled

“Did you wanna stay for a while? Spend some time together?”

“Is that also part of you dealing with this?” I giggled turning to face him

“Kinda. But Now I know what you wanted. And I want that too. Maybe now we're a little older we’ll be better, more communicative, better with our feelings. So? Did you wanna try again?”

“On one condition.”

“Oh?”

“Go to therapy, Benny.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes.”

“How much therapy?”

“How about one session, one date.”

“Three dates one session”

“Two.” “Deal” he smiled pulling me into a sweet kiss “Will you help me find one?”

“Yes, I will.” I giggled “Come on we’ll have coffee and a cuddle”

“Sounds perfect”

#tbs smut #thomasbrodiesangster #tbs imagine #tbs imagines #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster smut #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster #tbs #benny smut #benny fanfic #benny #benny watts #benny watts smut #tqg benny watts #benny watts imagine #bennywattssmut

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pedroshotwifey · 6 months

Text

Hungry Like The...

Pairing: Werewolf!Frankie Morales x AFAB!Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Tags/Warnings: Smut, PIV sex, oral sex (f receiving), fluff, established relationship, no use of y/n, Frankie has a monster cock, im missing stuff but I want to go to bed so...

Summary: You and Frankie decide to attend an 80s themed Halloween party. Through all of the excitement, you must have forgotten what day the full moon falls on.

A/N: I'm gonna go ahead and say that I rushed the absolute fuck out of this one, but I think it turned out pretty good. I really kind of jumped outside of my comfort zone with this, so I'm kinda proud that I did that. That being said, please feel free to call me out on anything that might not make sense or anything that I should change at all because I'm half clueless with this kind of stuff. Please consider reposting and/or liking. Thank you for reading and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! <3

***

You have no idea where Frankie snuck off too.

He claimed he was going to get the two of you more drinks, but that was about ten minutes ago. You’re well aware that it should have taken less than half of that for him to find his way to the refreshment table, pick up some drinks, and bring them back to you.

Right now, though, you’re too blissed out to care—not that you have much to worry about with your loving boyfriend anyway. The lights are almost blinding as you spin around beneath them, but they transform into a nice glow thanks to the buzz you’re sporting. “Mony Mony,” is blaring through the speakers and you're in your zone as you swing your hips to the beat.

You’re glad that Frankie had suggested that you two attend this party specifically. The only requirements were that you had to dress up as an 80’s character in order to fit the era the party revolves around. 80’s costumes, 80’s music, 80’s decor. Luckily for you, the 80’s is one of your absolute favorite decades, and you’re pretty sure Frankie knew that when he signed the two of you up.

The dance floor is packed with people to the point where you can’t stretch out all the way without bumping into someone. Usually, that would irk you, but you can’t find it in you to mind tonight. It’s not like anybody else does.

As you snap your hips to the beat, you look around at all the different costumes in the crowd. You see a handful of Star Wars characters, a couple of Freddy Kruegers, some Ghost Busters, and—of course—a shit ton of Madonnas. The rest, for the most part, are pretty original.

You’re pretty proud of your own costume, to be honest. You had spent a couple of weeks configuring a custom-made Storm costume. You’ve been an X-Men fan for as long as you can remember, and it made you so happy to try on your costume for the first time a few days ago. It’s pretty damn spot-on.

Frankie, on the other hand, had insisted on being a werewolf. Like turning into one once a month wasn’t enough already. You had simply rolled your eyes and asked him what he had in mind so you could make his costume. It was worth it to see the way he lit up, even though he’s cutting it close with the party’s theme.

After the year he had, he deserves to be happy—even if it means you have to endure his stupid jokes every now and again. When he gets tipsy, his goofy humor always makes an appearance. It’s one of your favorite parts about nights out with your boyfriend. He never fails to make you laugh.

Just as you begin to worry that he might have gotten lost in the crowd, you feel a hand spin you around. You’re getting ready to tell someone off until you come face to face with those irresistible brown eyes.

“Hey there, Hermosa,” he says as he cuddles up to you, swaying you to the song. “Having fun, sweetheart?”

You giggle as he bends down and nuzzles his face into your neck. Glancing down, you almost aren’t surprised to see that he doesn’t have any drinks.

“Frankie?” You ask casually as you throw your arms around him.

“Hmm?”

“Did you find the drinks?”

Suddenly, he stops moving and stands up straight again, a playful smile plastered across his face.

“Guess not,” he says. “Found something to eat, though,” he winks and you playfully roll your eyes as he throws himself back onto you. As the song changes to “When Doves Cry”, he begins to dance with you. Frankie has never been the best dancer, but it's better this way. Neither of you take anything seriously as you push and pull your bodies together, giving eachother flirty kisses every now and again.

You laugh as you bump into someone and flash them an apologetic look. Frankie really loves to bring out your careless side. You honestly didn’t know you were capable of being so care-free until you had met him. Sometimes he makes you feel as if nothing else matters but you and him. It’s times like these that you really realize just how lucky you are to have him.

“Alright, baby,” Frankie says after a moment, bringing you out of your thoughts. “I’m going to go get us those drinks now.”

Instead of answering him, you get up on your tip-toes and kiss him. He begins to wrap his arms around you again, but you gently push him off, giving him a faux stern look.

“Alright, alright, I get it, baby, I’m going!” he says over the music before turning around to scamper away.

You have to suppress a giggle when he jolts as you deliver a light slap to his ass. He turns just enough to flash you a dirty look, and you give him one of feigned innocence in return, well aware he’ll get you back for that eventually if you continue to tease.

“Hurry up, wolfboy!” you shout after him.

***

Alright, you’re actually about to be pissed this time.

There’s absolutely no way he lost you—or rather, you lost him—twice. He has to be playing with you, right? Whatever, if that’s the case, two can play at that game.

You’ll just pretend like you don’t even notice something is missing. Maybe once he sees you where he left you, completely unaffected by his absence, he’ll stop being such an ass.

Perfect. Perfect plan.

You shake your head and dance as the song ends. You can have fun by yourself if your boyfriend wants to be immature.

Well, it would have been a perfect plan.

As if he could somehow read your mind—which you almost wouldn’t doubt at this point—you spot Frankie in your vision once again. However, this time, he’s not coming over to you.

He has a familiar dark look in his eyes that immediately soaks you, despite yourself. You stop dancing because as quick as you see him, he’s gone again. You spin in a panicked circle as the song changes to one by Duran Duran. You almost laugh at the irony as “Hungry Like the Wolf” blares through the speakers.

Your phone buzzes in the small pocket of your bodysuit, and you pause your quick search to look at it. Your brow furrows as you see that it’s a text from Frankie. What the fuck is he playing at? Quickly, you unlock your phone and open your messages.

“Better start running, baby,” the text reads. You look up, your eyes frantically scanning the crowd around you. Maybe the song choice isn’t so ironic after all.

“Don’t let me catch you… feeling hungry like the wolf tonight…”

You don’t stop to think before you make a mad dash toward the exit, your heart dropping to your stomach as you go. You get some pissed looks as you shove through people, your heart hammering in your chest and your eyes darting every which way.

You have no idea where he could be at this point. Maybe he’s somewhere inside, having missed your exit. He could be trailing right behind you, ready to grab you at any moment.

Soon enough, it is revealed that he is, once again, always one step ahead of you. As soon as you step out of the doors, a large body is engulfing yours and carrying you to a secluded spot on the patio, though there’s nobody outside anyway.

You would scream if not for the large hand that covers your lips when he grabs you. You know it’s Frankie, of course, but the exhilaration that comes from the scare really adds to the game the two of you just started.

You ignore the heat simmering between your legs as he sets you down on your own feet and removes his hand from your mouth. Neither of you move, you don’t look up, he doesn’t crouch down. You just stand there, breathing heavily as Frankie embraces your figure.

You can’t help but lean back into him, letting your guard down probably isn’t the best idea right now, but you can’t find it in you to care about that fact at the moment.

The fresh air feels nice on your heated cheeks, but Frankie's front against your back feels even better. The music continues to play faintly behind you as you sway side to side, Frankie’s arms wrapped tightly around you, his head resting on your shoulder.

You swear you could stay here forever. Actually, you could stay anywhere, as long as you had Frankie. But right now, you can’t imagine anything more perfect than this. As long as you have your boyfriend’s arms around you, you would do anything or go anywhere he wants to.

Your body may be his, but you decided a long time ago that your soul belongs to him as well. He can pick it up and do whatever he wishes with it, and you know he could never do anything that would cause your trust or love for him to dull.

“Look up, sweetheart,” Frankie’s soft voice brings you out of your thoughts, making you open your eyes. You hadn’t realized they had slid shut in the first place.

The sight of the full moon high up in the night sky confirms your suspicions. Frankie’s going to turn tonight.

Fuck, you’re screwed, your subconscious automatically screams at you.

You can't miss the way your panties dampen as the thought crosses your mind. Your body stiffens as you fight the urge to run, the adrenaline getting the best of you.

Frankie must feel the way you tense up because his arms immediately tighten around you.

“It’s alright, hermosa,” he whispers into your ear. “Just means we’ll have a bit more fun than usual.”

You try but fail to stifle your grin at his menacing tone. Just because you know you’re screwed doesn’t mean you don't enjoy it.

“Probably got less than ten minutes now,” Frankie says far too casually. “Let’s pick up on our little chase, yeah?”

He lets you out of his grasp this time, and you turn around to give him a peck on his cheek, allowing your hand to brush past his erection as you pull away. The touch is just enough for Frankie to grit his teeth as he hisses out. The warning glance he gives you makes arousal burn deep into your core, only serving to make you more excited.

“I’ll give you a head start, sweetheart,” he says, his tone giving you a warning, “I’d take it if I were you.”

With his word, you spin on your heel, ready to plummet into the forest, but you only get about a foot before he has a large hand wrapped around your wrist. Your heart beats louder in your chest as you turn to look at him, his eyes dark with lust.

“Don’t let me catch you this time,” he says, pulling you close enough for his lips to flutter across your ear as he speaks. “I won’t go easy on you.”

You ignore the shiver in your spine as you pull back as much as you can.

“Maybe I don't want you to go easy on me,” you whisper back, earning a slight growl from Frankie. He lets his hand linger on you for only a moment more before letting go, this time allowing you to back away.

“Don’t push yourself too hard then, because I’m going to fucking exaust you when I catch up.”

You smile before turning once again, pushing yourself into the trees without looking back.

***

The sound of your heartbeat is deafening as you run through the otherwise silent forest. The steady pitter-patter of the organ combined with your ragged breathing and your frantic footsteps make a horrifying symphony. Even those sounds seem muffled, though, with the amount of pure adrenaline that courses through your veins and drowns out your senses.

Frankie can’t be too far behind you now. You guess you’ve been running for about fifteen minutes. There’s no doubt that he has turned at this point; he proved it with the howl you heard bellowing through the woods a couple minutes ago.

Since then, you haven't stopped to take a breath. There is pure fear in the fact that you have a beast on your trail, but also excitement in knowing what will likely happen once he catches up.

For now though, fear is the dominant emotion. It’s prominent enough to keep you going even as your hair gets tugged by branches and your skin gets scratched and torn by twigs and thorns. None of it seems to matter right now just as long as you can keep your distance from the monster hunting you down.

Suddenly, you hear a snap from somewhere behind you. The noise is sharp, a twig snapping beneath heavy weight. It reverberates all around you, sending a shiver down your spine. Soon after, You pick up on the steady thumping of what sounds to be an animal hot on your tail.

The sound gets closer and closer even as you push yourself to run faster. Your entire body is shaking and you can feel tears welling up in your eyes. You can practically feel Frankie’s breath on your neck, the sensation almost more powerful than the ache overtaking your legs and abdomen.

“Please, leave me alone!” You cry out the plea over your shoulder, your voice bordering a sob. Your gut is curling with a mixture of panic and arousal. The responding growl makes the tears you have been holding spill over and your knees buckle.

For a second, you’re worried that you might fall, but you’re pushed into the ground before you have the chance to do it yourself. The weight of Frankie pouncing on top of you knocks the wind out of you, a sharp cry leaving your lips as your breath is taken.

In the time that it takes you to get your breath back, Frankie has your bodysuit torn enough to pry off of your shaking body, and your lacy panties shoved–or ripped–down your legs. Luckily, the bodysuit was the cheapest and easiest to find component of your costume. You can feel a whisper of his claws against your skin as he drags scraps away from where he needs you most.

Your arms flail wildly, your fingers trying to grasp a handful of fur from the beast atop you. Frankie sees what you’re trying to do, and with a growl, he ducks down and slides toward your feet, away from your hands.

Before you can question what he’s doing, you feel something thick, wet, and warm against your bare, soaked cunt.

A high pitched moan tumbles from your lips as Frankie drags his tongue across your pussy before dipping it into your core.

The hot muscle digs deep into your cunt, curling once it's in all the way. You can feel his nose bobbing up and down against your ass as he starts to work his tongue in and out of your cunt.

“F-Frankie, fuck!” You scream, feeling your orgasm building embarrassingly quickly.

The way his tongue swirls and scrapes against your walls is absolutely delicious, and that combined with the tip of the muscle prodding against your g-spot? You’re fucking done for.

You’re writhing as Frankie brings his tongue out to swallow down the slick he’s collected, and you can feel the way a combination of your arousal and his saliva leaks out of your pulsing cunt, coming down to collect at your clit and make you shudder. You’re so close to coming, a warm feeling that can only be described as pure euphoria making a home deep in your lower abdomen.

Almost as soon as he was gone, Frankie shoves his tongue back inside of you, meticulously prodding all the right places. You’re gasping and moaning so loud you have half the mind to feel bad for whatever critters might reside in these woods.

That thought passes quickly, though, once you feel yourself returning to the edge. Frankie flicks his tongue one more time and you’re suddenly convulsing around him. The high seems to go on forever, your toes curling and your fingers grasping at the leafy ground in front of you.

The beast doesn’t pull away as you come, instead, he allows you to rock your hips back and forth in order to prolong your pleasure for as long as possible. You don’t even notice that you moved your arm until you feel one hand entangled in soft fur, your subconscious mind telling you to hold him to you.

You hear Frankie whine from behind you and you have to suppress the urge to giggle. He’s always liked it when you tug at his hair, and apparently, being in this form leaves no room for exceptions.

Your body goes limp as Frankie backs away from you, making it easy for him to nudge you to prop you up where he wants you. Hands and knees, of course. He wastes no time in getting into position behind you, crowding you in with his massive form.

The tip of his cock feels massive against your swollen cunt, but it only takes a few swipes of the beast’s hips before he is notched into your entrance. With one more thrust, he’s pushing in all the way, making you scream as your pussy stretches to accommodate his girth.

Frankie lets out a series of whimpers as he starts a brutal pace, not giving you a second to adjust. Your hands come up to grasp above his paws, which are positioned on either side of your head, and then up a little.

“F-Frankie!” Your moan comes out more like a screech, the pain quickly turning into a sick pleasure as he rips you open on his cock. Each time he thrusts, it’s accompanied by a puff of breath which fans out across your cheek.

The sound of his whines and ragged breathing mix with the squelching noises coming from your cunt and the panting coming from your lips, everything combined making the filthiest symphony you’ve ever heard.

Your second orgasm starts to build rapidly, your cunt beginning to flutter around Frankie’s unforgiving length. With each punch, the tip of his cock touches something heavenly within you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.

You’re pretty sure you’re drooling, but you find that every limb has turned to jelly, preventing you from bringing your hand up to check. If not for the monster above you impaling you on his length, you would likely be flat on the forest floor right now.

Every thought that had previously occupied your mind is forced out of you as Frankie effortlessly pries another orgasm from you. He doesn’t slow or pause as you squeeze around his cock like a vice. If anything, it only spurs him on and gets him going faster, if that's even possible.

With each slam of his hips, you feel your body being sent forward, only stabilized by your palms, which are somehow still firmly planted on the ground.

‘Oh god, Frankie,” your voice sounds hazy to your own ears. “F-feels so fucking good, Francisco.”

You hear him grunt at the sound of his full name, something you usually only call him in bed—or in this case, in the middle of nowhere.

It does feel good, his cock feels absolutely massive. You know that it is definitely bigger than when he’s in his human form—the size of which should be considered supernatural in it’s own way. Right now, though, he feels bigger than ever, thicker, longer. The only thought occupying your mind at the moment is how badly you want to suck his cock.

How the fuck does this man fuck you so good to the point where you fantasize about giving him a blowjob while he’s already inside of you? Next time, you’ll have to get his dick in your mouth before he shoves it into your cunt.

Your eyes droop as your second orgasm morphs into a third, your body growing weaker with each movement from Frankie. You ignore the shaking to spread your legs wider to allow him better access, which results in him getting to a deeper spot with the new angle.

Your mouth drops open as you begin to come again, a silent scream getting stuck in your throat. This time, as you constrict around his monstrous cock, you can feel his hips stutter. He’s getting close, which is probably a good thing considering you’re about to pass out from both pleasure and exhaustion.

“C-come on, Frankie, f-fill me up,” you command through moans. It very obviously eggs him on because before you know it, he’s stilling inside of you, howling into the trees, and blowing his massive load deep into your core.

The feeling of his cum painting your walls is fucking heavenly. Spurt after spurt of his warm seed fills you to the brim until it eventually starts to seep out around the base of his cock. If you thought you had felt full before, that was nothing compared to now.

Frankie gives you a few minutes to calm down before he starts to lower himself to the ground, laying on his side and tugging you with him. Your body and mind are equally compliant with his request.

As your eyes shut once again, you can feel Frankie starting to shift behind you, probably making his transformation back to his human form. Try as you might, you know you won’t have enough energy to wait for him to be done, so you make the most of it and snuggle into his soft fur. You know that you’ll wake up safe and sound in your bed, tangled with your kind, attentive, and very much human boyfriend.

#pedro pascal #fan fiction #ao3 #smut #pedro pascal smut #frankie morales #triple frontier #frankie morales x reader #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #werewolf #werewolf smut #halloween #happy halloween #one shot #pwp

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scarletwinterxx · 7 months

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loving you is easy - mark lee imagine

hiiiii, 127 cb i have been summoned😅 for the past few weeks i've been inactive on all socmeds, sorry for the very few and slow posts. anyways, let's talk Fact Check haha what's your fave track? i think mine's Parade. the vocals in that one is soooo good.

So yeah i hope you like this one, i'll be back when I can💛🌻

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"It's one plane ride away, I'll be there in 3 months"

"That's 3 months too long" he grumbles, still pouting as he zips the last of his luggage. Mark hated being away for you, too many days and nights your time zone's don't line up. By the time it's morning for you, he'll be saying goodnight.

But now, things are about to change. This will be the last time you're saying goodbye to him for a long time but he doesn't know that. For now it's your little secret.

"It'll fly by fast, just like every other time. Now come here and give me cuddles, stop pouting like a kid" you tease him, opening your arms to welcome him.

Feeling his arms go around you, you further confirmed a fact you've known for years. The two of you can be continents away from each other, but your heart will always stay with one another. Mark really has become your home and in his arms are where you feel the safest and most loved.

"If you're sad then it's gonna make me sad, I don't want the last night to be all tears" you tell him, feeling his embrace tighten against you. He kisses the top of your head a few times before letting you go.

"You're right, sorry. No more sulking, it's just 3 months then you'll come to me" he smiles at you, the cute little dimple you love so much appearing on his cheek. You stand on your tiptoe to kiss it, savoring the warmth of him against your lips.

And you were right, the 3 months did fly by fast. Mainly because you were busy packing your apartment to move to another continent. You didn't keep much apart from your stuff and some of Mark's. It's kind of hard to travel with everything so you got rid of what you can.

The only person who knew you were coming was Johnny, who is currently waiting for you at the airport. Easily spotting the 6 foot Chicago guy from a distance.

"There she is! About time you got here, I don't think I can take another day of Mark whining about how much he misses you" he jokes, giving you a quick hug and taking your stuff to carry it himself.

"He doesn't know I'm coming, I'm suppose to fly out this weekend" you tell him while following behind

"Oh believe me I know, he won't let us forget"

You chuckle at his story, just thinking about surprising Mark makes you grin.

He dropped you off at Mark's apartment, you're familiar with the place since you've stayed here every time you fly over. What he doesn't know is you're here to stay with him for good.

It did took a lot of courage to make this decision but you didn't doubt it for a second. You know there's no other place you'd rather call home than where he is.

For a couple of hours you rested, cleaned the few dishes on the sink and picked up the towel he threw on the floor. A habit you knew he had, you've had that talk with him more than a few times and he always promises he won't do it again. You let him off the hook, for now.

You were in the bedroom when you hear someone by the door. Mark entered his place, tired from the whole day of work to notice the other pair of shoes by the door.

He threw his bag by the couch, along with his coat. He then walked to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, resting against the counter while he drinks and take a moment to look around.

This time he notices the dishes he was suppose to do this morning was gone. He brushed it off thinking he must've just forgotten he already did it. He then walked to the bedroom, the first thing he noticed was the towel that he definitely threw by the bed this morning. He remembers it because he's been thinking about it all day and how you'll be mad if you found out he threw it on the floor yet again.

He looks around, checking to see anything missing or different just in case someone broke in. But who would clean up if they're here to steal, he thoughts.

Mark then walks towards the bathroom to check, nothing there too so he walks back the bedroom. Just when he was about to go outside, you jumped out of your hiding spot to surprise him

"SURPRISE!"

"WHAT THE F- OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE" you didn't even get the chance to walk towards him because he's already running to you. Picking you up in an embrace.

"Is this for real or am I dreaming?" you hear him mumble

You giggle, patting him on the back so he could put you down. "This is real silly. I'm really here" you tell him.

He grabs you by the face and kisses you. As his lips lands on yours, he knew this was really real. You're actually here with him.

You can feel him smile against your lips, tilting your head to the side to kiss him deeper. Too many days wish he was with you, now he's here and you're not going to let go that easily.

He walks backwards until the back of his legs hit the bed. Landing on it gently with you still in his arms. You straddle his legs while the two of you get lost in each others kisses.

"Okay okay wait a sec" you giggle, pushing your lover away gently. Mark follows your lips though, kissing you a few more times before he lets you go but not too far.

"When did you get here?" he asks you

"Today, Johnny picked me up at the airport so I could surprise you" you tell him, your hands intertwine around his shoulders.

"I could've come and pick you up" he pouts.

Oh your sweet sweet boy.

You smile at him, rubbing your nose against his. Feeling like you're on cloud nine now that you're back together.

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise" you tell him, speaking of surprise you can't wait to see his reaction once you tell him your news.

"How long are you staying? I can take a few days off so we can go out" he tells you excitedly.

For you he would do just about anything. He can put his world on pause, stop everything for you.

"About that..."

"What? You can't stay that long?" he asks, already feeling sad but he tries not to let you see it.

"Actually, I'm not gonna go back" you tell him, not sure how to break the news to him either

"Huh?"

"Surprise number 2 I guess, I wanted to tell you for months now but I waited until everything is settled. So yeah. I'm here to stay, that is if you're looking for a roommate?" you ask

Mark didn't say anything for a couple of seconds, your words still processing in his mind.

"You mean you're staying here, with me ? Here? and you're not going to fly back? You're staying with me?"

You can't help but laugh lightly at him, pulling him closer once again to kiss him

"I'm gonna stay right here" you whisper, looking straight into his eyes.

"But what about your work? your friends? I can't ask you to leave your life there"

"Baby you're not asking me, I want to. I have friends here too, I can call my friends there and we can visit them. Plus you're my bestfriend. As for work, it just so happened they were looking for someone to relocate here to Korea. It was like fate wanted me to be here"

"Are you sure? I don't want you to give up everything, I don't mind the flights-"

"You do, I do. We both do. We just never said it outloud because we didn't want to be sad, but all I can think of when you're not around is how much I want to be with you. To be honest it's harder for me to be there than moving here where I know I could be with you"

He looks at you, trying to find the words to say

"Are you really really sure?" he asks again

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't. So you're stuck with me, for good" you tease a smile out of him

"It's hard for me too. It's the hardest when I'm so tired and I come back here and all I can think of is how much I want to come home to you. Every flight away from you was never easy"

"I know"

"So I guess this is your anniversary present?" he jokingly asks, you get off of his lap to stand up.

"It'll be hard to top this one" you joke

"I can just ask you to marry me" he says ever so casually, not missing how your cheeks reddened. You hit him lightly making your boyfriend laugh

"Hey, that's not fair"

"You're the one who's stuck me, you know I'm never letting you go now?"

"Good, cause I'm not going anywhere. Here's to 7 more years"

He smile at you before standing up to hug you again,

As you stare at each other eyes you can't help but feel this warm sensation in your chest. You really are home.

"I read somewhere that our cells change every 7 years or so" you mumble, he hums waiting for you to continue

"It's been 7 years since we first met, and until now I still feel the same way about you. I want every cell in my body to know what it feels like to love you, I want it to never forget how warm and lovely it feels it be in love with you. 7 years from now, 14 years and until the last cycle of this life, I want all of me to love all of you"

He stares at you, soaking each word coming out of your lips like a spell enchanting him. Making him fall even deeper in love with you.

"You know they say love isn't easy, but loving you is easy. It's like it's the only thing my heart and soul was made for. Every thought in my head, awake or even in my dreams, is always you" he tells you.

You can feel the tears starting to build up from too much happiness you're feeling right now.

"Wanna hear something crazy?" you mumble

"Do tell" he chuckles

"If you ask me to marry you right now, I'd say yes"

He smiles at you before closing the distance once again, like he just sealed a promise. Speaking a silent vow to make that come true, maybe tonight or tomorrow or 7 days/months from now. All he knows is he will live this life with you.

194 notes · View notes

mayariviolet · 2 months

Text

I Don’t Smoke.

Pilot/ Episode One of ‘First Love/ Late Spring’

summary:

“So if you need to be mean, be mean to me. I can take it and put it inside of me.” // “I’m stronger than you give me credit for.”

Some letters addressed to Suguru before and after he defected were written by you, still in their sealed envelopes.

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cw: angst, no use of y/n, allusions to graphic violence, swearing, suggestive themes (but not really), references to blood, afab ‘reader’ x Suguru (I put the reader in quotations because technically they’re the ones writing the letters), fluff (if you squint really really hard), minor f! reader x Satoru.

a/n: I wanted to try something new! I love you, Geto Suguru! My bad for what I��m gonna do! Also on Ao3.

wc: ~4.5k

🏷️: @tacobellfreshavocado, @jeanboyjean (Reply below to let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapters!).

September 2007

The day before, he defected…

Dear Suguru,

I'm slipping this under your door because I'm feeling a little exhausted after our last conversation. Even though it's been a while. I know our last argument has been 'solved' per se.

But consider this insurance if I don't wake up in time to say goodbye like I usually do! I've been feeling a little more drained lately; I'm sure you know why. I'll keep writing like this if this mission takes a long time. Although, I know we will talk soon. Good luck tomorrow!

With love,

Two days after he defected…

Dear Suguru,

It still feels weird doing this since we haven't talked like this since we were kids, but anyway. We haven't spoken in a couple of days. It's kind of like when we were kids, too. I guess. I heard Satoru and Yaga talking the other day, but I couldn't fully understand what they said. Only bits and pieces. It's like they cast a curtain in the hallway… haha… I know I'm eavesdropping again (don't tell my parents), but I can't help it! It's hard to get any honest conversations out of anyone here. Yaga is probably on our ass about that assignment we haven't finished. I mean- I'm just waiting for you to do your part. Suppose that isn't too much to ask.

Also, they should have fixed my door if they didn't want anyone to hear! It's still creaking! Maybe when you get back, you could also look at it. I'll probably slip this into your room again. But you don't have to respond right away. Just take your time. I know you've been busy going on all of these missions alone. I'm sorry about that. You're probably exhausted. I don't blame you.

Just know that my door is always open (unfortunately).

With love,

Five days after he defected…

Dear Suguru,

Satoru fixed my door finally! He truly is good at everything. It feels emptier without you here, even though it hasn't been long. But you'll be back soon to fill the void. If you visit your parents, could you tell them I said hi? Mine too. I miss them greatly, but I know our work will make them proud. Satoru has been hanging around my room more, even after some tough training sessions. It's friendly company, but it's not you. He won't tell me why he's always loitering in our my room.

I forgot to mention that he asked me to heal his hand in my last letter. It's strange since he can do it himself, but I digress. It felt… nice to be wanted. Even Shoko seems gloomy! Uncharacteristic for her… Do you think she and Utahime got in a fight? Anyway, she's been helping me with my technique and some hand-to-hand combat stuff! It's a little hard to follow, probably because we train in my room. I wish I were granted a little more space…

Shoko also helped me finish our assignment- we got an A! I hope Yaga isn't too mad, but he's been getting quiet whenever I ask about you. Rather weird, but not as weird as Kento's haircut, right?

They're calling for heavy rainfall soon (according to that sweaty weatherman we liked to make fun of), but at least it's better than the unbearable heat. However, you felt the sting of summer more than anyone.

If you're home, eat more and say hi to my parents! They always tell me how you'll change the world one day.

With love,

One week since he defected…

Dear Suguru,

Sorry about this letter being so close to my last one, but I feel bad. Kento's been avoiding me lately despite not saying anything about his haircut. Then again, he's been avoiding everyone. Do you think he knows what I wrote? Hopefully not. As I write this, I can hear him shuffling back and forth. Inside and then outside. His heavy shoes hitting the stone walkways reverberate in my room.

Haibara, being gone, has started to settle in even though I wasn't as close to him as Kento or you. Is the work we do… is it worth something? It has to, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't be taking so long. This letter is a bit of a throwaway, so don't worry too much about responding.

With love,

One and a half weeks after he defected…

Dear Suguru,

Kento left. The rain is starting to get worse, but it's still manageable. Thankfully, Yaga gave me that empty patch near our dormitory to start gardening. I'm planning on planting some yellow roses, amongst other things. They remind me of you. The cicadas seem to be chirping a little louder every night. Maybe they're having nightmares about Riko, too.

With love,

Two weeks after he defected…

Dear Suguru,

It's been getting bad again. I wish you were here.

Do away missions usually take this long? I can't remember since Yaga has kept me holed up. I forgot to mention that in my last letters. Something about the higher-ups wanting to 'keep tabs on Satoru and me.' It's weird because Satoru can strut around, but I'm just confined to the campus.

However, he is kind enough to get me sweets whenever he heads into the city (he teases me about my sweet tooth, but he's worse!). I'll have to get used to telling him which ones I like before he spends his money, unlike you, who always got it right. I think Satoru just likes to eat my leftovers…

The days are starting to blur together.

With love,

Two and a half weeks since he defected…

Dear Suguru,

I think my technique is getting worse. You'd say otherwise and that I'm only getting better, and then give me a big hug. Is it creepy to say that I miss the smell of your shampoo? Probably. But it was so strong that it burrowed into my senses, like Satoru's six eyes. Since you've left, I'm unsure what to do with my free time.

I hope the break you are taking from school is refreshing. Heaven knows you need it. Hell, you deserve it. The tree we used to read under together is already yellow and threatening to drop its leaves, and the sun is starting to set earlier. Shoko offered me a smoke, and I felt…relief. Maybe I'll start doing that instead of thinking about how you take your tea. Sorry, I know how much you hated the idea of smoking.

My parents stopped answering my calls (they have been for a while). Even writing this feels like a waste, but I know you'll respond soon. Feel free to do it in person. My door is fixed now, but it is always open for you.

With love,

Your dear friend

Three weeks after he defected…

Dear Suguru,

It's been hushed lately. The cicadas stopped screaming, but I haven't. I walk by your room every day. It's weird. I used to get annoyed whenever you and Satoru were loud, especially when we had early missions. I would storm into your room, ready to be angry, but then you would flash me that beautiful smile, and everything else seemed to matter a little less.

Sometimes, I think you guys liked to make me mad on purpose, but I know it was all love. However, in your absence, I realized silence is worse. Suppose you cared, probably not since you haven't answered my letters. Shoko said my RCT has been getting better than before. People keep saying I'm an "asset" because of it. It's stupid because I don't feel like one. If I were, then you would have asked me to come with you. I wish you asked me to go with you.

Your dear,

With love,

Your dear friend.

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October 2007

Four weeks after he defected…

Dear Suguru,

Sorry about the short letter. Satoru is a little freer these days, so I guess I found something to fill the silence. Digimon is cooler than I thought! It's a little hard to understand sometimes, kind of like you. He's been spending more time in my room. I hope that doesn't bother you, considering our last conversation. Then again, we didn't talk much before you left, so you probably don't remember. Please come back soon.

With love,

Your dear friend.

Four and a half weeks after he defected…

Dear Suguru,

I have been missing the way you make me tea. So, I've been desperately trying to recreate it to no avail. Satoru suggested I add honey, and it made it almost too sweet. Still good, though. I realized on my third cup that what makes it special is you. But enough of that. Today, Satoru has been giving me tips and ideas on what to plant next season. He suggested some lily of the valley or some iris! I'm surprised he hasn't tried to convince me to plant some flowers that are as blue as his eyes. Granted, they are beautiful. Sorry, I should refrain from talking about how nice they are. He's been itching to tell me something, but I told him that we should wait until you come back.

With love,

Your dear friend.

Five weeks after he defected…

Suguru,

Satoru finally told me what you did. I'm getting that shaking rage again. There's a pain so deeply woven into my soul that my technique could never heal. I know writing these letters used to help us solve our problems when we were kids, but honestly? This feels a little ridiculous now.

There's not much I can say other than I hope wherever you are, there's eternal suffering- that whatever vomit-soaked rag curse you consume next swallows you whole. How dare you do this to our my family?

There's no way you could have known this, but after our weekly dinners, my dad used to go on and on about you. How you were 'the child they never had.'

How fucked up is that? I remember thinking, 'I'm here too! I'm here too!' They saw no value in something that couldn't clean up the fucking trash they created. That much was true. You saw that every time my father made ME cry, he made ME apologize.

Imagine a CHILD begging to be loved when that's all they should ever feel. I was just a KID. How burdensome it must be to demand what should come as second nature for parents. Their pure vitriolic energy seeped into my heart one night, and I considered destroying everything.

You knew that, and it was YOU who stopped me. Just like how you stopped Satoru after that day. God, you're a fucking hypocrite! Well, that doesn't matter anymore, does it? I was so close to getting their love back to how it was when I was six and didn't know anything. You stripped that away from me. God, you are such an asshole. Did you think you were doing me a favour? I keep replaying our last conversation in my mind. Each time, it's getting fuzzier, like a broken VCR tape. Rather than trying to remember how you smiled (which I am glad I am forgetting), I see this dingy aura. This whole 'monkey' talk is just the ramblings of a broken man, and I am not your repair shop.

You're a goddamn psychotic and selfish prick. How dare you murder all of those innocent people? What happened to us, making the world a better place? Was it all a lie? Just like another drunken kiss, perhaps? These stupid fucking letters never did anything when we fought as kids, and both of our parents made us you apologize like this.

You've poisoned us, me. There's not much else I can write other than I fucking loathe you. I always did. You were constantly parading around like you cared about me. You were saying that your 'Special Grade' status would never get in the way. How stupid was I to think that wouldn't get in the way because you were supposed to care for me? At least that's what you said to me repeatedly.

You were right about that. It wasn't your status. It was you. It was always you.

Yours,

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January 2008

Three months after he defected…

Geto,

I don't regret what I said in my last letter. As I write this, the trees which granted us shade now threaten to break underneath the weight of the snowfall. Which we have been fortunate enough to get. There are icicles that hang on my window sill. Clear and cold. It reminds me of how you're soulless and void of any emotion. Ten years of friendship have gone down the drain for a fucking pipe dream.

And what a waste! When I scream at night from the memory of you, Satoru comes into my room now. He holds me until the sun rises and I've calmed down enough or until I pass out from exhaustion. I hope this information wounds the depths of your soul. If you even had one, to begin with.

A friend

Three and a half months after he defected…

Geto,

I've been smoking more.

Almost four months after he defected…

Geto,

Satoru and I have been getting close. I'm unsure why I'm telling you this again or even why I keep writing these letters, but whatever. I've been going on more missions. Digimon, missions, sweets, and then staring at the dust that coats your bedroom door. It's a little repetitive and draining, for sure. But then again, so was loving you.

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February 3rd, 2008

Geto,

Do you remember when we first met? I do. This slimy worm thing smelled awful, and it kept following me! It had just rained, so I thought, 'Oh, maybe it's just the mud that was still on my backpack after that kid pushed me.' Which was a little annoying because I was on my way to that grandmother's house to tend to her garden. No matter how far I walked, the smell kept following me.

You were trudging behind closely, and with one quick gulp, there was an overwhelming relief in my body. It was as if Sisyphus was able to complete his task. Then again, you're more like Sisyphus than I ever will be. I understand that now. Maybe that's why you kept me away after what happened with Tengen. Or, I should say what didn't.

I'm sorry I didn't do enough back then and also that I ran away after you helped me when we were younger. Then again, when I tried apologizing for running away while braiding your beautiful hair like always, you said it was fine.

I don't know why I'm writing this letter, to be honest. Maybe it's because I'm feeling nostalgic.

From your former classmate,

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April 2008

Six months since he defected…

Geto,

I have been thinking a lot about our childhood, our parents' expectations and just things of that sort. In general, I've been thinking about a lot and nothing at the same time. Mostly, I think about how stupid I am to keep writing to a man who would rather burn the whole world than try to nourish it. This is more for me than it is for you at this point.

My garden has been flourishing (well, it's attempting to). But Satoru is very encouraging when things get overwatered, and also a little annoying about the technicalities of it all. Satoru twiddling his thumbs while I tend to my wisteria tree is comforting, to say the least. Even though I know he is just itching to help. Sometimes, I let him.

From your former classmate,

Six and a half months since he defected…

Geto,

I think we're planning to move somewhere else soon, just as roommates, though. It was Satoru's idea. He made a good point of needing a change of scenery. Also, he has been very comforting in general, so I don't mind. I know whatever house or apartment he decides to buy will be way better than the hovel you're living in (hopefully).

From your former classmate,

══════════════════

May 2008

Seven months since he defected…

Geto,

The house Satoru picked out is very nice indeed. However, I expect nothing less from a clan head. My room is spacious, and it overlooks some lovely green spaces. It is a nice break for my eyes. Thankfully, it's still close enough where I can tend to the garden on campus, but Satoru was also smart enough to find a house where I can expand my green thumb. If need be.

It makes me miss our old town. When we had the warm summer sun kiss our faces, the promise of a better tomorrow. I almost asked Satoru if he wanted to visit whenever he had free time.

Although, he always makes himself free whenever I ask. But then I remembered that our youth, or lack thereof, is simply a ghost that will always haunt me. He's a good friend.

I still hope you're struggling. However, from what I have heard, you were able to take over the Star Plasma Church quickly. Or whatever you call it now. Congratulations. You've become everything you hate.

From your former classmate,

══════════════════

July 2008

Almost one year since he defected…

Geto,

It's approaching that time again. Sorry. I meant the anniversary of what happened. I think I have been able to process most of the merger that never happened. You were trying your best to stay as righteous as possible. I admire that about you. I've always struggled with that, but I guess I did better at masking it than you.

I know I said this before, but I am genuinely sorry about not doing enough back then. I went ahead and got myself stupidly injured when I should have stayed with you instead of following Satoru. He could protect himself. I'm not saying you aren't able to, but I guess I wanted you to see how strong I am. I want to say that none of it was your fault.

Although the hardship you've created after what happened with Riko is.

From your former classmate,

══════════════════

September 2008

One year since he defected…

Geto,

It's been more than a year since I last saw you. Summer came and went. Satoru and I were actually able to get our schedules lined up to visit Okinawa. It was a little painful, and I was reluctant. But you know him, it's hard to say no. He even checked the plane for anything that would be amiss.

'Cross my six eyes and hope to die, there's nothing here!' he told me when I was annoyingly asking for reassurance. I couldn't help but feel a swelling in my chest that I thought would never return. Once we actually arrived, it was a very relaxing time (He's finally figured out how to make my tea just how I like it).

It was such a nice gesture, and he was kind about the whole thing, so I bought him some sweets and wrote a note. He asked me if I would ever want to return, and I was about to insist that you come as well.

Luckily, we arrived back in Tokyo before the rain started to pick up. I've been getting assigned more missions, but this is what I've been working towards. Cleaning up your mess, no doubt.

From your former classmate,

══════════════════

August 2009

Almost two years since he defected…

Geto,

One of the more fucked up things in my life (other than continuing to write letters you'll never read) is how even after all this time, you are the only person I want to talk to. Shoko is going to school to become a doctor soon; from what I heard, Kento is doing well and- Satoru is a good boyfriend and a better dad.

Someone who knew you,

══════════════════

September 2009

Two years after he defected…

Geto,

I should have clarified in my last letter I am not pregnant. There are parts of my body that will always belong to you, no matter who decides to enter our home. Satoru adopted this boy and his sister. I didn't bother asking how or why we spent weeks tracking two orphans.

I know, even if Satoru won't tell me.

It's a little daunting sometimes being young parents. But I'm trying my best not to repeat any mistakes my parents made. However, there are certain moments when I can feel my father's venom come out to try to sting Megumi or Tsumiki. I would never let that happen.

I'm getting stronger for their sake. Maybe I'll try to cheat my way through medical school like Shoko.

From your former classmate,

══════════════════

December 22nd 2009

Two years after he defected…

Geto,

It's blistering outside but I will write something quickly as I am preparing for Megumi's birthday. Satoru and I have been making hasty preparations and a crappy cake (he insisted we tried when I said that I always wanted a nice homemade cake when I was younger) that will no doubt be replaced by one from a much better bakery. For a while, I was feeling jaded and jealous about how lavish Megumi's birthday party would be. But then I thought back to all of my birthdays those long forgotten years ago and thought about how I am so glad to have an opportunity to shelter a child from that experience.

In my reflections, I remembered your sleepy eyes and face smeared with an ice cream vanilla cake that your parents bought for me. I was fuming. Especially since my dad forced us to take a picture shortly after. I did a pretty good job of hiding it, though.

While moving to our new house, something fell out of my journal. It was the picture of that day. I'm sure you've thrown away your copy to forget your old life rightfully. Tsumiki came into my room right as I was about to put it away and asked who the dirty kid was in the photo. At first, I thought she was referring to me, but when I asked her to repeat the question nicely, she pointed to you. I told her the truth.

'It's just an old friend.'

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March 2011

Three and a half years after he defected…

Dear Geto,

There are so many letters I have written, but I decided this is the best one for now.

Satoru is kind enough not to notice my fervent writings to a man I've been mourning who isn't even dead. I understand what you did. Sometimes, I'm even jealous that you had the courage to take action. You were trying in your way.

I have always felt like a passive observer, but now that love I carried for you burdens my family instead, with Satoru taking the brunt of it. I don't know if you remember, but you told me you wanted that. A family. Our family. Then again, I was half asleep, and I could have dreamed of you whispering that to me as I was lulled in the safety of your arms.

Wherever you are, I hope someone can give you what you deserve.

From an old friend,

══════════════════

September 2012

Five years after he defected…

My Dear, Geto,

I apologize for not writing that much. Then again, no designation could ever accurately describe our relationship. There's not much else to say other than I miss you. I finally cut my hair, not by choice. My son decided that gum belonged to my hair rather than a tissue thrown promptly into the garbage. I was annoyed, but then I remembered what a blessing it is to have him in my life. The ability to live in a world free of curses… I hope you're able to give it to him.

Maybe he'll inherit his father's technique one day. Perhaps not six-eyes since it seems a little exhausting. Once he's a little older, we'll find out, and then I will finally be able to return to work (despite Satoru's strong objections) alongside Shoko with less worry. Then again, if he were not to have a technique at all, I think that would be a greater blessing.

I do not wish to pass on the burden of our sins.

I just hope that if the time comes and he has nothing to protect himself from this unforgiving world, you will spare a child who has the wonder in his eyes you once had.

If I'm being honest, I knew you would never come back. I understood that the moment I slipped that note under your door only to find it unlocked and stripped clean. Still, a naive part of me kept writing and hoarding all the love I had for you in the hopes that you would one day return and take it all.

My garden, both on campus and at my home, is sprawling. In the spring, my children like to play in the large backyard pond. They're careful not to disturb the lotus that I've been careful to curate. Sometimes, I blink, and there are flashes of our childhood that I see. Specifically, summers which were spent in that grandmother's yard, tending to her vegetables and running errands. I hoped you would never tire of me dragging you along to this random grandmother's house, but deep down, I know you liked helping her as much as I did. It was a nice escape from the chaos of it all. I really started dreaming in those peaceful moments spent with you in that old house.

I have forgiven my parents, and now it's time that I try to accept what you did, along with the things I cannot change.

There has been an unnerving comfort in speaking to the ghost of who you once were. This will be my last letter for a while. Even though my writing, in general, has been sparse. I have a family, after all. I'm sure you do, too. I may be imagining things, but lately, these twin girls have been popping up wherever I go.

It seems stupid, I know, but they remind me of you despite their brown hair and large eyes. Both of which emit a warmth that I once felt whenever intertwined. In another life, maybe they could have been ours. Satoru listens to my concerns and is quick to calm me down. Ever since he's been checking in on me, I don't have nightmares anymore.

Sure, some nights are more challenging than others, but he whispers such lovely things that I can't help but fall asleep faster than I did with you. Sorry. That was an asshole thing of me to write. But I thought you would like to know I am being cared for.

You were my first love and best friend. My one and only.

With love,

Your dear, friend.

a/n: This is my first time trying this format, and I really like it! I might try it with another series of characters once I finish this. Also, the other chapters are written, but I am very anal about editing, so they're gonna have staggered uploads throughout March and April!

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67 notes · View notes

strayflowersstarsandlove · 4 months

Text

Busan (hwanghyunjin)

Author's note: for some reason every time I write of Hyunjin's I end up with lenghty paragraphs I don't know why, he triggers the writers in me idk I love this man💀💀 anyways this one can definitely be read as a standalone as most if not all my longer writings! reading Preoccupied first might give you a little additional context but it's not essential 💖

"I don't know... What if he's just not that into me?", you puff your cheeks out and cross your arms tightly across your chest, trying to keep warm in the chilly early morning breeze, shifting your weight on your feet from side to side, "bullshit! He is so into you! He's just shy", Changbin whines, only pretending to be annoyed at you as he pinches and pokes your cheeks until you start giggling.You were currently waiting for the whole gang to arrive at the train station for a day trip to Busan.

Originally it was supposed to be just you and Hyunjin, Changbin and your other best friend, Changbin's girlfriend, a double date of sorts. It only ended up being a group outing because Jeongin overheard you guys talking as you were planning the day and decided he wanted to be your tourist guide and then Han overhead Jeongin and felt excluded from the activities so he invited himself and Minho along, and one member led another and so you ended up being stuck with 6 other people on your date.

Which wasn't inherently a bad thing, ever since you and Hyunjin had started seeing each other after meeting at a party, you had had the chance to hang with all of them and you quickly understood just how tight knit and lovely they all were, you thoroughly enjoyed spending time with them and always ending up your day with cramps from all the laughing.

This time you just wanted to be alone with Hyunjin though. You had been going on multiple dates in the last few couple of months, each and every one of them had been great and you could tell that you were getting closer. But he hadn't popped the question yet and you were way too shy to do it yourself. You thought that maybe a change of scenery and the beach would have set the perfect occasion for either of you to try and make the move but even when Lexy had to pull out due to a nasty stomach bug, you were still left with 7 more people on said scenery, Changbin being the sulky one too cause he missed his girlfriend dearly.

You stuff your hands in your pockets and hum to yourself, still mulling over your best friend's words, absentmindedly kicking at the dirt beneath your feet, "he will ask you to be his girlfriend, y/n. I promise. I think he's just trying to find the courage. He made the first move already by kissing you and asking you out, which is out of character for him, give him a little time". Changbin serious, softer tone comforts you a little, you smile weakly at him and nod, "I'm willing to give him all the time he needs, I just wish I knew if he's into me as much as I am into him. I can be very clingy and boring and overall uninteresting, I wouldn't blame him if he just decided I'm not worth it".

Your best friend sighs frustratedly and forcefully engulfs you in a big bear hug, "yah! Don't ever say that again, you hear me? You are so worth it, you're exactly his ideal type too. Hyunjin-ah is just fundamentally shy and he got burned on his last relationship. I'm sure he's just trying to feel this out a little after he dived in head first and got broken hearted. He falls in love so quickly, trusts so easily, he's such a sensitive, reserved person it's amazing he felt this comfortable and outgoing with you so far. He's gonna fully come out of his shell, trust me".

You hug him back very tightly and mumble your thanks and are about to reassure him you understood what he said completely when you hear a loud yell followed by some ridiculous bickering in the distance and soon enough Han and Minho emerge from the car park, shortly followed by Chan and Felix, with Seugmin in tow. They all look so happy to see you and greet you so warmly you instantly cheer up. Even more so when you see Jeongin in the distance, he's fixing his hair amenably after an overtly excited Hyunjin has basically jumped on his back to ruffle it over and over. You can hear him giggle all the way from your spot and can't help but feel a soft, warm rush to your chest.

When they finally walk over to the group Hyunjin beelines to you. He pulls you close and kisses the top of your head while squeezing your hand, smiling softly at you, his demeanor still bubbly and hyper but more tender, softer when he greets you, "hi", he beams at you, his sweet smile reaching his eyes as you reciprocate the gesture and ask him how he's doing today, to which he solemnly replies that he's excited for the day, and a little twinkling in his eyes confirms that. God he's so cute.

The train compartments are divided into four seats each and after much debating (and some mild, playful fighting, Hyunjin looking defeated as he concedes to Changbin who just has to sit on the more outside seat cause he hates when his shoulders squeeze against the window seat ) you end up sitting by the window, Changbin sitting next to you while Hyunjin is directly across from you, next to Chan.

The chopsticks, Felix and Jeongin sitting on the opposite row while Seugmin enjoys "some deserved peace and quiet" as he sits next to other passangers behind your row. 2racha starts talking among themselves the minute the train departs and even though you and Hyunjin try to participate into the conversation you both quickly realise their argument over whether tomatoes are fruits or vegetables is getting pretty heated pretty fast so you just glance at each other and snicker, he stretches out his long legs and loops them around your feet, and then lends you one of his bluetooth earbuds, a silent invite to block out the noises and enjoy the scenery outside your window.

Once you arrive in Busan the group splits for a preventive toilet stop, you, Chan, Felix, Changbin and Minho being the ones brave enough not to take advantage of the washroom at the station as you aimlessly stroll around while you wait for the others. You can tell Chan is trying his best to keep his kids in check while also trying to give you and Hyunjin some space, the moment the group is reunited again he immediately tries to lead them towards the exit so Hyunjin can make his way to you without all eyes on him.

If there's one thing about Chan is that he is very perceptive, he obviously knows his friend very well and figured you too like to keep it low key, you too aren't overly into pda and would rather spend some quieter times with just the long haired brunette.

And his efforts are repayed when he exchanges a quick, complicit glance with Hyunjin, who slows down behind everyone else until he's walking right next to you, he sneaks an arm around your shoulders and pulls you to him, "you're doing okay? I'm sorry they're so loud", he apologises, a fond smile forming on his lips as his eyes wander to his friends animously talking and grabbing at each other's hands and butts, "I'm doing great. I'm actually happy they've taken seemingly well to me, I was afraid they wouldn't like me that much for a sec", you admit sincerely, trying to fall into step with his long strides, "why wouldn't they?", he replies simply, matter-of-factly even, smirking a little when he notices you blushing.

As soon as you all step outside into the blinding sun, Jeongin turns into intense chaperone mode, he gives directions to where to go first and which local stores you should stop by so he and Chan can plan out the day a little. And so the adventure begins.

First stop is dalgona coffee and Sinchang toast from a local café where most of the boys also help themselves to Milmyeon and Ssiat Hotteok, which you share a portion of with both Han and Felix, as they're saving up some space in their stomachs for more desserts later on in the day. Which you can only agree with.

After that you make your way to the beaufiul Haedong Yonggungsa, the temple by the sea, a sprawling temple that sits right on the eastern coast of Busan, which literally takes your breath away with how incredible and sacred it looks, the air there just feels different, rarefied even. As you lean on the balauster that looks out on the baby blue sea, you find yourself shutting your eyes.

You whisper a silent prayer only you know the meaning of. And it's curious, how for that mere couple of seconds you manage to numb your ears to the sound of the wind, the mumbling and praying of the locals and the tourists gathering in the temple, even the stifled laughs of your friends, you almost feel like you're the only person in the whole building as you wish just for happiness, in whatever form that wants to presents itself in.

When you open your eyes again Hyunjin is silently standing next you, elbows resting on the balauster as well, his eyes deviate from the stunning sea below to your surprised ones, a small, reassuring smile playing on his lips.

Next stop is another temple, Taejongsa temple, with its bursting hydrangeas paths and blossoming plants all around, Changbin gets particularly sulky as you guys walk through the place, he whines about being in such a romantic scenery without his munchkin little baby, which you find ironic considering you're currently being swept up into some deep conversations about love and the expectation of society with Felix and Chan, Han butting his head in every once in a while only to be pulled back by a bemused Minho that makes him twirl and fall into every single flower bed on their path.

For lunch you all help yourselves at local street vendors on your way to Gamcheon village where you stop for pics with the little prince statue (everyone makes Jeongin take at least one selfie with each member and the statue), and then wander off to the shops and thrift stores. All the while your group of friends manages to keep you entertained and laughing your ass off, but sadly also busy and never really alone with Hyunjin. You manage to lock eyes with him on a few occasions and briefly hold hands as you walk through the narrowest parts of the village, but you somehow always end up separate, despite Chan's best efforts no to have the kids hog you all the time.

Part of you feels extremely happy they feel so comfortable with you they want to include you into their every activity or conversation, but another part of you longs for some alone time with Hyunjin.

As the afternoon rolls out slowly, you and your group walk aimlessly around the streets, some of the guys stop to take pictures of the colorful walls and murals, some feed into their caffeine addictions by cramming inside tight little cafés. Seeing that Felix and Seugmin walk out of a cute bakery with delicious looking pastries and drinks, you decide to step in yourself and order some warm coffee to go and milk bread. Which tastes absolutely delectable.

You flutter your eyes shut as the yummy, soft texture melts in your mouth, you almost moan at how good it tastes, "jeez, calm down. It's just bread",you hear a brash voice and some snickering and find Changbin looking at you like you're some kind of crazy person, "you don't understand Binnie, this is heaven. Heaven in bread form", you try to explain, stuffing your face with more, "you and flour boy are meant to be. Go to him, share it with him. Hyunjin loves milk bread", he says, stealing a bite from your roll first, "mmh not bad, not bad", he comments, taking a sip from your coffee too.

You make your way towards the back of the group, and patiently wait for Hyunjin to finish talking with Chan before attempting to shyly approach him, "milk bread?", you offer, holding your precious wrapped roll out for him to bite into. He lights up. He tears into the bread making the cutest, frowniest face and you giggle, "mmmh oh my god so good", he yawps, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as he leads you down the steep pavement, "hehe it's yummy, right?", Hyunjin nods and hands you back your food but you signal for him to finish it as you happily sip on your coffee, even offering him some too considering his cup is already empty, he gladly accepts and puckers his lips around the straw, the sight momentarily making your breath hitch in your throat. It's been a whole week since you last kissed him properly. You're having withdrawals.

"Coffee and milk bread. You really know how to take care of me, uh?", Hyunjin smirks at you and next thing you know he's pulling you inside a little souvenirs shop, dragging you towards a far off isle in the corner where you almost knock down all the tiny porcelain little tea cups and hand painted fans and cute colorful socks.

You erupt into loud giggles as he himself trips over the rug but manages to straighten himself out at last. You giggle and giggle until he's leaning in, his lips just inches away from you - "annyeonghaseyo. How can I help you today?". The clerk was so adorable and smiley both you and Hyunjin end up with a bag each full of gifts for your respective families. And deep red ears and blushy cheeks.

As the sunset bleeds into early night, you stop at a photobooth and take multiple pictures with everyone. Or you try to. You're just about to get back inside the booth with Hyunjin after Jeongin and Minho went in when Han gets so whiny and fussy from how tired he is that Chan has to drag everyone out and back on the road.

The last stop on your trip being a sightseeing one at Gwangandaegyo Bridge. The square is so crowded and bustling with people and lights and energy you feel so immensely grateful and lucky to be there with your friends.

Chan on one side and Changbin on the other, you loop your arms together and sincerely thank them, "I appreciate everything you two have been trying to do for me today! Thank you for making me feel so included and for looking out for me". Changbin grins at you and pokes your cheek, "I told you you were going to have a great time!", he exclaims while Chan just laughs, "I'm sorry this wasn't the most romantic thing for you and our Hyune but I'm sure seeing you so comfortable with all the boys and vice versa means a lot to him too", he nods toward the man of the hour, giggling and pointing at the colorful lights and taking pics with Felix. "Yeah, I hope so", you mumble, looking fondly at them.

You all take a few more pictures and decide to look for some street food for dinner before redirecting towards the train station, Chan winks at you as he calls up on all the guys and orderly leads them towards downtown, conveniently making sure you're in tow with Hyunjin.

You quietly walk next to each other, fingers interlocked, playfully bumping into each other every once in a while, "did you have fun today?", he asks, his eyes searching yours intently, "of course, I'm like so tired, but very happy! Busan is charming and the food is amazing, I couldn't have asked for more. Did you have fun? ", you reply earnestly and he nods, "mmh…I did. I liked seeing you happy",you smile bashfully and blush as he says that, which must give him some sort of an ego boost cause he looks so satisfied he bites down his lips and tugs at your hand when you refuse to keep eye contact with him. In the spur of the moment he bends down to kiss your cheek, sighing softly :"y/n would you… no wait… Can I be-", "HAN-AH NOT ON MY NEW SHOES".

Poor Hannie feeling sick all over Minho's shoes wasn't the perfect ending to your amazing day in Busan. The boy ate a little too much a little too fast and then washed it all down with too much iced coffee that's all. With all of your adrenaline levels down and the tiredness of the day catching up to you all, this time when you get back in the train nobody fights for the seat distribution.

You finally end up next to Hyunjin, who scrambles to fling himself on the faded blue leather seat next to the window and basically forces you to sit beside him while Seugmin and Jeongin sit across from you. It barely takes 2 minutes for the maknaes to fall asleep in their seats, their cute little heads atop of each other, sleepy, pouty faces so irresistible Hyunjin has to take a few sneaky pics.

Just as you did on your way there, you share earphones with the brunette, who also offers his shoulder for you to lean on as you feel so sleepy after the long day. The ache in your legs and your feet dissolving as you finally relax to the music playing in your ears and the comfort of the sweet guy next to you who clasps your hands together and breathes so softly as if he's afraid he's going to disturb your sleepy state.

Travelling into the night to the light hum of the train feels calming, a bit surreal even. You feel as if you're in a bit of a dream like state, the moonlight filters through the big window as the train speeds through miles upon miles of rail tracks, every single passanger on board either sleeping or quietly scrolling through their phones and you just feel so at peace, your eyes droopy and heavy but still refusing to completely give in to sleep.

"Y/n…are you sleeping?", Hyunjin calls out quietly for you. At first you're confused as to whether he is actually talking or the song currently playing in your ear is playing tricks on you, but when you lift your head up and meet his soft gaze and gentle smile, you're sure you're not just hallucinating. You blink a few times and shake your head slightly, "not sleeping yet", you murmur as your rub your eyes with your knuckles. Hyunjin visibly melts at that, you can see it in the way even in the dim light his eyes go all soft and crescent moon shaped as he smiles.

He hesitates a bit, as if he's mentally debating whether to further speak or not, and then he leans in and kisses you. Plump lips crushing into yours, a soft hum as he grazes your bottom lip with his teeth, your muffled gasping as his tongue explores your mouth. If this is a dream no one dare wake you up right now. That's all you can think.

"Can I be your boyfriend?". You pull away still breathless and confused. Your brain short circuiting from how much you've made out in the past few minutes. You look at him confusedly as he licks his lips and looks at you expectantly, you shake your head briefly and pull out the earphone still idly playing whatever song, "you-you.. What?", you stutter and he giggles, pecking your lips once more, "I said: can I be your boyfriend?". So you heard that right the first time. It wasn't just the absence of oxygen reaching your brain then. You squeal and squeak, almost waking up the sleepy heads in front of you, and then jump at Hyunjin's neck, almost crying as your repeat yourself over and over: "ohmyfreakinggod YES PLEASE!".

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melodrangea · 6 months

Note

can we have nicknames soul eater girls calling their s/o? Pls

absolutely my dear anon

Soul Eater girls don't get NEARLY enough love!

i'm also so sorry requests are taking so long my loves, but I am back in the writing groove and will try to clear my inbox this weekend!

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What Soul Eater Girls call their S/O

Maka Albarn

-Maka is another character that I fell wouldn't really use many pet names until she's older, at least into her twenties

-but when she does use nicknames they're either very classy or short and easy

babe

-just something quick, she'll be in a rush out the door and just kiss you on the cheek saying goodbye

"bye babe, I have to go but I'll see you when I get home, love you!"

hon

-Maka's definitely relaxed, sitting by the couch in one of your sweaters and a thick blanket, famous chopping book in hand

-you'd hand her a cup of tea and cuddle up next to her

she's respond with a "thank you hon"

honey

-she'll usually only call you this when she feels guilty (normally about being gone long on missions) or when she knows you've had a tough day

"how are you doing honey? __ said you weren't feeling well" :(

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa

THIS girlie on the other hand would absoluetly adore giving you pet names

n/n

-fairly self explanatory but usually in front of people she doesn't know she'll call you by a short (cuter) version of your name

-you're just her adorable little s/o and you WILL be addressed accordingly

love

-used just as casually as anything else she'll ever say to you

-which never fails to make you extremely flustered in certain situations

"which movie did we leave off on love?"

beautiful

-this one is used more intimately

-a special occasion or something else, whatever she's doing she'll just turn to you and stare into your eyes

"I love you so much beautiful"

Liz Thompson

this cocky bitch (I'm lying I love her sm)

cutie

will probably be flirting with you or just trying to fluster you in general

"hey cutie you feel like going out sometime?" (you guys have been together for months too)

babe

again YOUR NAME DOES NOT EXIST

babe is essentially Liz's every other word talking to you

"babe are we still going out later? I still have to do my nails"

baby

calls you this when she's being more serious

"baby be careful, I don't want you getting hurt." "I love you too baby." "It'll be okay baby, just breathe."

Patty Thomspon

-I'm not gonna lie to y'all...

-pookie (pookie bear)

-she can and would, and ya'll know she would

"hey pookie! Are you ready yet???"

-like miss girl PATIENCE

scardey cat

-Patty gets into some crazy stuff because she just feels no fear

-so you being a normal person (no Patty we don't want to go into the haunted amusement park that's falling apart)

"c'monnn don't be a scardey cat, I'm sure the ghosts are friendly!" (cue Liz running away screaming)

n/n

-only normal thing Patty will ever call you

-would probably add 'chan' to the end of your name or nickname

-I love Patty but she's like a middle school boy hyped up on kool-aid with a recorder I'M SORRY

Marie

honey-bun

-it's only cute when she says it and she can and will call you honey-bun whenever she pleases!

"aw thank you honey-bun, I love you too!"

-you are her honey-bun now, just accept it

sweetheart

-makes you two sound like an old married couple and you love it

-you two will be cooking together and she'll ask you to hand her something

"do you mind passing me the olive oil sweetheart?"

dear/dearest

-y'all are the definition of an old married couple i'm sobbing

-she'll offhandedly tell you how much she loves you while calling you dearest

"I love you so much dearest, you truly mean so much to me"

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I love these four sm I swear

but anyways that's all for now my dears!

I'm here for your literary entertainment, I respond to requests as quickly as I can

-Melodrangea <3

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nevereverywhere · 1 year

Text

Paul McCartney Interview 1982

Q: "Let me ask you what everybody wants to know. How did you feel when you heard the news about John's murder?"

(at that precise moment my cassette auto-stopped)

PAUL: "You see, your cassette didn't even like the question. (laughs) Listen, John would be the first guy to laugh about that. How did I feel? I can't remember. I can't express it. I can't believe it. It was crazy. It was anger. It was fear. It was madness. It was the world coming to an end. And it was, 'Will it happen to me next?' I just felt everything. I still can't put into words. Shocking. And I ended up saying, 'It's a drag,' and that doesn't really sum it up."

Q: "Were you actually still close to him?"

PAUL: "Yes, yes. I suppose the story was that we were pretty close in the beginning when we were writing stuff together. We felt alot of sympathy for each other, although on a personal level, based on a lot of stuff that went down later, I obviously wasn't that close to him. To me, he was a fella, and you don't get that close to fellas. I felt very close to him, but from alot of what he said later, obviously, I was missing in the picture. But anyway, I felt very close to him then and when the Beatles started to feel the strain towards the last couple of years, it was getting to be a bit of a strain and we were drifting more apart. I think the kind of anchor that had held us together was still there. I think that we all, in a way, started to get really angry with each other, annoyed and frustrated, but we were still very keen on each other, loved each other, I suppose, because we had been mates together for so long. Like Ringo says, 'We were as three brothers.' It's that kind of a feeling. I mean, I didn't realize that, but Ringo would tell me later, 'You are like my brothers, you lot.' We all knew that there was some kind of deep regard for each other."

Q: "When the rift started, it was more like a divorce, like a love/hate relationship, coming apart. Is that true?"

PAUL: "Yes. It sounds weird when you use that analogy because then it takes on another meaning. But yes, it's true. What I mean is that there was that kind of deep feeling and deep heat. (laughs) Then we started arguing about the business and we just started to drift apart, as you say, like a kind of divorce. The bitchiness set in and everyone started going, 'Oh you say that, do you? Well, I'm really gonna let you know what I've been thinking all these years.' And we tended to go over a little bit over the top, I suppose. So it started to split apart. We got very estranged because John went to live in New York with Yoko and they were very much their own couple and there weren't many people that could get into that thing. I really think that was one of the best things that ever happened to him, for his personal happiness. It wasn't too easy for all of us, because he was sort of leaving us and going off on a new life and, whether you like it or not, we felt that each one of us had been each other's crutches for a long time. Then, with John moving away, there was a lot of bitchiness carrying on."

"I talked to Yoko the day after John was killed and the first thing she said was, 'John was really fond of you, you know.' It was almost as if she sensed that I was wondering whether he had... whether the relationship had snapped. I believe it was always there. I believe he really was fond of me, as she said. We were really the best of mates. It was really ace."

Ray Bonici for Canadian music magazine Music Express

the whole interview

#sometimes he talks about john as if they barely knew each other “I obviously wasn't close to him”#and then just goes on about how deep and loving it all was #it was the world coming to an end #you are like my brothers #the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #ringo starr #george harrison #paul mccartney interview #1982

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mdhwrites · 3 months

Note

Honestly It's quite disrespectful and insulting, how Dana cared more about her beef with Disney than making a good show for the fans who supported her, some even financially. I've had it with her extreme fans raging to people when she's criticized for her obvious lack of care on S3 (the story in general), spamming and blaming on Disney and the shortening. Now that's revealed it wasn't Disney's fault for "ruining S3" since there was no S3 to begin with, that just puts more salt on the wound.

And lying about having plans for S3, what was that about? Stirring more hate on Disney? I find that pitiful and pathetic. If fans are gonna get mad at her from this revelation they have the right to do so. Toh should've stayed in the drafts or be written as a freelanche comic

Edit: I do think this person is too harsh on Dana as a person. I'm curious even what they mean by financial support from her fans (her charity livestreams? Unless she does those more often for personal gain but those people would likely donate anyways as just fans of the show) but as I go into below, I do agree that her unprofessionalism is a real problem and that with the fandom she somewhat helped rile up, it makes it frustrating to learn that a lot of this was on vapor. Not lies, but just... Not nearly as much solid foundation as we were led to believe. There is a lot to be said about how Dana, from my understanding, has been one of the most available leads on a show... Period? At bare minimum, for modern cartoons. Like others will talk but Dana was extremely candid. In fact, it feels like she probably learned some lessons from it because the blaming Disney stuff actually went DOWN as the show progressed. Like at least now it's "I wish I could have done more things," rather than, I dunno, just straight up trying to say they're why episodes you're not proud/ of aren't as well regarded didn't turn out.

Which she did.

With S1A.

Before SEASON TWO was out.

Like... You just shit talked literally half of the content that is out for your show and threw your publisher under the process. Why do I think that might not have been received well?

And when I was biggest in the fandom, around the time the news of the shortening happened, you heard a LOT of different explanations from Dana, like it was one executive who made the call or how TOH wasn't a 'part of Disney's brand' or the like. When the Florida stuff came out with Disney, she pretty explicitly called Disney out for it (which is fine and I approve) but then went on to insinuate that it was hard for her to believe that the show had been cancelled for any reason besides representation, a move I DON'T approve of and makes ZERO sense with how they got to do so much more gay shit in S2B and even add new elements like confirming Masha was they/them or confirming Luz being Bi on screen in Thanks to Them. It's not a great look for a director, especially during the times these statements were coming out.

Being unprofessional admittedly doesn't make her a bad person but like... Yeah, I get upset thinking about the contradictions here too. That even in the same post Hoot that she has to admit that the shortening pushed them creatively and they had no real plans, she's still talking like she had plans. Like there was something to be missed when... No. Not for the STORY. Just your bucket of ideas for a perpetual series.

It leans into the idea that saying you were going to do X means you would have done it perfectly. That Dana doesn't understand that the only perfect work is the one never done. She's fine with being remembered for what wasn't there if it means being remembered better. As a creator myself who struggles with putting things to the page... I don't know. It hurts to some extent.

Which just a small update: I've been having real trouble focusing the past couple days. My head is not on well right now. It's why these are being a bit more emotional and late night rather than my normal posts in the morning because that's just how I've felt like doing it. Hope you're all taking care of yourselves and see you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #toh #the owl house

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naranjapetrificada · 17 days

Text

Happy [Fanfic] Friday!

Unfortunately I missed WIP Wednesday, mostly because this has not been the best writing week I've ever had. We've had unconscionably few days of sunlight in my area for the past several days, which always makes being productive in any capacity a real chore. It also makes negative thinking easier for me, and I didn't want to bring that kind of energy to my drafts because writing is something I have profound baggage around. I made very small amounts of progress on Chapter 3 (which is better than no progress), and my working draft has about 1900/<8000 words I'm trying to aim for. Now that the sun is back I'm hoping for work to pick up again though ☀️😎🤞

Anyway let's talk about recs!

Last week I got sucked right into Fast Car by smallestchurch, who you can always trust to put out bangers. But since there are only two chapters I decided to check out some other things to scratch that itch while we wait (patiently!) for the next update.

- All I Want for Christmas is... and A Little Bit of Love Goes a Long Long Way by @tresdem

Naturally I went looking for fics where Ed and Stede meet when they are much, much younger. And wouldn't you know it, one of my absolute favorite writers in the fandom has a newish series about them meeting around their college years, during a serendipitous snowing-in at a hotel. Stede needs music for a party where he plans to propose to Mary, Julliard student Ed gets tricked by Jack into showing up, and oh the delicious drama and tension that ensue!

The first fic has a bittersweet ending and the second fic, where they accidentally reunite a couple years later, still has one chapter to go. Much like Fast Car, it looks like this series will be following them through their adult lives as they try, with extremely mixed success, to find ways to be together and survive being apart. I can't wait to see what's next for them.

- Not Pickles by smallestchurch

Not surprisingly another great source for fics to scratch a smallestchurch itch is right there in her backlog. So I decided to catch up on some of her longer stuff that I hadn't read yet, and omg this has been a delight. I still have one chapter left but I'm kind of putting it off because like so many of the best stories, I know I'm gonna miss everyone (except Jack and Izzy lol) when I'm done.

That's all for now! Happy Friday and happy weekend! ☺️

#fanfic friday #fic writing #writing process #writing woes #fast car #made for you (series)#modern au #childhood friends au #ofmd fanfic #fic recs #from the firmament #ofmd #our flag means death #edward teach #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #blackbonnet

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frecklystars · 1 month

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so. um. on top of everything ive been dealing with this week. ive also learned my dog might have heart problems. she's going to be 15 years old in a couple of months so i've always been really scared that one day she'll just. y'know. keel over. since the day she turned 11 years old i have spent every single day worrying if it's her last. she isn't even unhealthy or anything! she's just old!!! she still jumps around and acts like a puppy, she's so energetic, but like. she's just... so... old. and i hug her and kiss her every single day and tell her i love her so much and every night when i jolt awake from a nightmare she crawls onto my chest and kisses me until i calm down. i really hope she knows that i love her. i miss her every single time i have to leave the house and then i count the minutes until i can get back so i can hold her again.

she doesn't show any symptoms of hurting or being in any pain, but she has a stage 5 heart murmur, or so one vet says. came completely out of nowhere, i just brought her to the place today to get her annual rabies shot, and the vet was suddenly like "hey her heartbeat is like, abnormally loud. oh she has stage 5 heart murmur. you need to get that checked." so im taking her to another vet this thursday to get an x-ray. the vet said she could live without any heart problems with the murmur but that's only for like... stage 1 murmurs... Coca's at 5... symptoms would show blue gums, her fainting, panting even while lying down, stuff like that. she hasn't shown any of those symptoms at all, she has been extremely healthy with zero problems her entire life. last year while i was on my 8 month unplanned hiatus, she had accidentally ingested 2 weeks worth of bug poison (long story), and she survived it and didn't have any long lasting problems. she's just a little shih-tzu, she's so small, yet she's so sturdy. i want to hope that everything is okay but a part of me is like "oh no, this is it, this is the thing that's gonna kill her" but i also want to hope that she's fine for at least... another year. maybe two. i keep hoping and praying she lives to be at least 17 years old. i just want her to stick around as long as possible

anyway. i'm crying and having a lot of anxiety attacks. i dont want to jump to conclusions, because maybe she'll be fine, but... "stage 5 heart murmur" sounds horrifying especially when your dog is old and gray. and then of course i tried to internet search it and the results are like "your dog will DIE of HEART FAILURE" and then other sources say "oh they can live their whole life with a heart murmur" or "it's fatal if they're fainting and you have to catch it early" like bro WHICH IS IT. guess i'll find out thursday

#vent

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spearxwind · 5 months

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Hi hello I wanna talk a bit about CD currently but Im not sure if its gonna be too long/negative so I'm gonna put my thoughts under a lid <3

So like. To start off it's really not a secret that I have a lot of trouble when it comes to crafting stories. This has been the case for many years, and will continue to be the case probably forever.

Challenger Deep felt like an exception to this at first, but since starting development on it my life took some turns that made it clear that CD suffers from the same and from different problems

To start with... I started using it as a vehicle for my grief at the start. Talas (especially) and Graves were both used as vehicles for my grief while I was going through stuff the past couple of years, and that inevitably bled through into The Everything.

It's not a bad thing to do this at all mind you (It helped me immensely) but it gave CD a strange foundation for me to build on that now I feel like I am at a major disconnect with, so I would like to build some more foundation around it, so to speak.

I would like to recraft the story (not rewrite it entirely because theres things i rly love, but theres others that I'd like to improve), and a lot of the lore (I feel like I closed my options a bit too much with some of it so I want to make it more expansive too. Part of why I wrote it the way it was was so I could invite friends to make stuff for CD but that did not go over well at all so I think I am going to not do that again). I just havent had the time to work on it properly, and since it's in this state where I feel like I need to "fix" it, I don't feel as passionate about it as last year so at the moment I'm letting it ride and waiting for when I'm excited to work on it again

I would like to add more characters as well and actually do justice writing-wise to the characters that are already in there too.

Also I won't lie, a big part of my investment in CD until recently was my oc ship, with Talas and Hades, and ever since I got into my current relationship I just havent thought much about them at all because I started pretty much actually living all of the shitposts and tropes I'd written and it started making me feel a bit strange to write/draw about that, so I need to fix that as well. See why I feel weird about it and what I can do to stop it and get back to those two

Additionally I've had a redesign of talas and hades' markings in my WIPs for months now. Hades is done, but on Talas' side Im not sure how to add in his bioluminescence pattern because something isnt working for me. I wanted him to be more visibly purble though with said markings. Everything else I really like, its just the glowy pattern (though watch me change the markings anyways bc im an indecesive beast)

Here's a snippet of them:

I wanted them both to have more natural fishy looking markings pretty much

So yeah, that's currently the state of things. I miss it a lot and i rly wanna work on it again proper, maybe now that I've acknowlegded it and made a post about it I will get a second wind like I've gotten before after getting The Gunk out of my chest.

If you read all that thank you I hope you have a swag day <3

#thunderclap #challenger deep #putting this in the tag in the meantime for anyone who might be curious as to why i havent really spoken about it #windyart

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12romy · 5 months

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Hi I know this I cheeky…but I failed my driving test and have had food poisoning this week. Is there anyway I could ask for a little Chewis prompt to be written? ANYTHING you like? It would cheer me up so much!

Hi darling!!! It's no problem at all, don't hesitate to ask! It always makes me happy to write prompts, and never hesitate to ask for specific stuff, too, if you want to!

I'm sorry you had such a back week, I hope you're feeling better... And I'm sure you'll pass your driving test next time!

I didn't really know what to write so, this is in the change of habits verse, end of season 2023! No real plot, just a fluffy slice of life ahah

Charles steps inside the silent house, dropping his bag and suitcase in the hall, and goes to faceplant on the couch as soon as he's out of his shoes and coat.

The season is finally over, thank god. Of course, he'll have to go back to Maranello, soon. Back to work, back to a shitty car and a shitty team. He'd rather not think about it right now.

He's tired. He hates himself for wishing he were in another team next year.

He doesn't know how long he stays on the couch, brooding, but soon enough the door opens. He perks up immediately, like an eager puppy when his owner gets back.

He rushes to the door, and literally throws himself in Lewis' arms. His boyfriend catches him, dropping bag and suitcase to do so, and makes them spin as Charles wraps his legs around his waist.

"I missed you!" Charles exclaims. He tries to kiss Lewis, but aims wrong because of the motion, and only catches the corner of his lips. Lewis stops spinning them around, and allows Charles to kiss him properly.

"It's been three days, darling," he chuckles.

"We've seen each other from afar in the paddock, it doesn't count," Charles pouts. "We didn't have any time for ourselves since Vegas!"

"I did miss this," Lewis nods, kissing him again before putting him down - or rather, tries to. Charles doesn't want to let go, and Lewis giggles at the way he's gripping onto him. "Fine, fine, I get the message, we're gonna cuddle. Can I just take my shoes off, first?"

"Fine," Charles agrees, sulking a little as he lets go of Lewis.

"How about we take a shower before cuddling? I smell like sweat and the inside of the airplane, not the best combo," Lewis suggest, and Charles has to admit he has a point.

"We can take a bath, instead," he offers. "That way we can get clean and cuddle at the same time."

Lewis has always been a pro at self-care, and so he draws them a warm bath, adding all sorts of products in it - all 100% plant based and organic - that smell amazing. He also lights up candles and incense sticks, and even adds actual rose petals to the water. Charles has no idea where they come from.

In the meantime, Charles prepares them some snack. Nothing too grand, just some fresh fruits and an assortment of dry nuts. He then puts on some jazz, a kind of music neither of them listens to much except when taking baths, and they settle in the tub. Lewis is resting his back against him and his head is on his shoulder, which allows Charles to wrap his arms around him.

The next couple of hours, after the bath, are used to undo each of Lewis' braids while distractingly watching a movie.

Charles realises Lewis fell asleep once he's finished, and smiles to himself. He manages to take a selfie with Lewis sleeping against him, and make it his new wallpaper.

He wonders what to do, then. Whether he should get up to make dinner, or maybe wake Lewis up.

He decides to do neither. He stays right there, half-sitting-half-laying on the bed, with Lewis pressed against him. They both could use the rest. They'll figure out dinner later.

He thinks distantly that going back to the factory will be even more painful, since it means leaving all this behind.

Better not to think about it, he still has a few of weeks in front of him. They're going to celebrate Christmas with their families, first in Monaco then in England. After that, they're going to America for the new year, before coming back home for Lewis' birthday.

He should look forward to it. So why can't he stop the anxiety rising in him at the thought of going back to Maranello?

Lewis makes a small noise in his sleep, and Charles is pulled out of his own mind immediately. Right. Lewis is here, with him. As long as they'll be together, he will be fine.

He can face anything.

#fic prompt #chewis #lewis hamilton #my writing #change of habits verse #f1 rpf #charles leclerc #sorry for making the end a little angsty x__x #little ficlet to hype you up for a change of habits part 2 😘

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bisexuallilapitts · 11 months

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I'm not feeling well and ranting about Tua S2 is my default so I thought I'd put some thought into what I'd change about the storylines for my own (personal) entertainment

Disclaimer I am not a writer, I just have opinions and this got way longer than I anticipated (especially the Viktor bit) so it's all under read more

Luther - I actually don't mind Luther's storyline too much, or what little he had going on anyway - it does make sense that he'd seek out another figure to fill the hole that his distrust in Reginald created, it makes sense that he is once again being used by that figure for their own gain, and it makes sense that he finally sticks it to Reginald in 2x06 - I just wish there was more of that and less of whatever the fuck they were doing with him and Allison (can they not just be friends please god) - I feel like expanding on his parental figure issues also just fits great with S3 and his confrontation with Reggie - and trying to trust someone who has betrayed him only to be stabbed (quite literally) in the back for trusting again

Diego - I'm just gonna be honest and say Diego should have spent longer in the 60s than a couple of months, maybe switching the dates Diego and Luther arrived, I don't know - a little more insight into how Lila got close to Diego in the asylum, and more time expanding on how therapy and his time in the 60s changed him, and expanding on the racism he endured in S2 not just with the asylum guards - it's something he and Allison talk about in S3 amd it's no doubt something they both grew up dealing with

Allison - again, very little Id change other than keeping it going for longer, it seems like after 2x06 racism stops existing in S2 (other than one mention) and so do all the characters Allison's interacted with at this point beyond Ray, obviously there's only so much you can fit into 10 45 minute episodes and the last three barely have any outside interactions beyond the commission but I still think even just one shot of Odessa, Ray and the others hearing about Allison being linked to JKFs death was warranted

Klaus - oh Klaus, I could go on for days about you - I am a firm Klaus joining an anti war movement truther, hell I even like the ghost cult theory that people had going on, I just feel like nobody really knew what to do with Klaus in S2 - and he was very much disjointed from the rest of the characters in the way that was obvious - yes he was in s1 and S3 (S3 again slightly more obvious with it than S1) but he was also connected to the main plot, S2 he was doing his own thing pretty much 99% of the season and it only served as more disconnect - I'm not saying he needed to be a main character, he wasn't in s1 and he still had things going on, I'm saying that it's at least expected that if everyone else is related to the plot by coincidence and what else, and Klaus is just there, why is Klaus there? What is he providing? S1, he had a hand in the apocalypse as much as everyone else, and it's sadly missing here.

Five - This is related to Diego too, but it fits more with the Five stuff. Drop the Handler stuff, just completely drop it. She didn't need to come back, have AJ take her place. And if you're gonna bring in the Commission then set them up firmly against Five (and by extension the other Hargreeves) for fucking with time - set it up that Five is dangerous and AJ knows it, that he's building an army (2x10) to try take Five down - his own adopted daughter (Lila) included, no deals, no bargains, AJ wants to destroy Five for even daring to try stop the apocalypse, and he's more ruthless than the Handler to get his way - and let Five get the satisfaction of killing him

Ben - I would say drop the possession stuff but that is plot relevant so maybe change it around to be on a more consensual sort of weird thing Klaus and Ben do - it could still be funny, with the siblings talking to Ben and Ben trying to act as Klaus (for whatever reason) and because Klaus is pretty much a strange character to his siblings already they don't question how wildly out of character he's acting ie "Because that is a thing, I, Klaus Hargreeves, do." "Uh? Sure buddy." / "I think I'm really nailing acting like you." Meanwhile the siblings side eyeing Ben acting as Klaus but they just don't know what the fuck is going on - and just for extra funsies (aka pain) have it established to Ben that he knows possessing Klaus (and by extension anyone else) is slowly destroying him but he wants to be a part of the family again, and he wants to experience life again so badly that he keeps going, and going, until he ends up passing on helping Viktor - and let that be part of the message with Klaus

Viktor - ohohoho where do I even begin? I think the only thing I will be leaving untouched is Sissy and Harlan, the rest? Gone. Personally I am not a fan of amnesia storylines, but Viktor needs to almost end the world somehow, right, and come to terms with his childhood trauma and the end of S1 somehow and doing it off screen hardly seems fair

I'm so glad you asked :) so Viktor, following have a gun go off by his ear and getting hit by a car goes deaf in one ear and it's affecting his powers obviously cause they're related to hearing at least somewhat - he's losing control, or can't make them work when he wants and he feels like the progress he made is thrown back as well as feeling conflicted and guilty for using them after what happened, after almost killing Allison - but still angry at his siblings for what they did and a lot of conflicting emotions also fuelling his powers being out of control

He's desperately trying to hide his powers (not the LGBTQ+ Merlin metaphor) from Sissy, Harlan and Carl and maintain the life he's created in the 60s but it's growing increasingly more difficult and only adding to his stress

So when he sees Luther again, he's obviously feeling a lot - happy to see someone he knows, anger, pained, guilty, confused - maybe even feeling like an outcast again, assuming that they all knew where each other was this entire time and left him out again - and leaves before Luther can talk to him, the conflicting emotions and his powers make something happen in Sissy's house (idk maybe something breaks enough to scare Viktor into leaving before he thinks he'll hurt someone else) and bumping into the Swedes and meeting Five again, and this time they properly talk it out - Viktor seeing the hurt he caused Five during his years in the apocalypse, even if the events that led to the apocalypse weren't only his fault, he admits fault for his part in it, and Five, aptly says something like, "You were a cog in a machine, Viktor. If not you, it would've been someone else, the Commission made sure of that." And it's clear they've at least talked it out somewhat to be able to trust each other

The second Luther and Viktor reunion is still hard - Luther apologises like in canon, and Viktor is wary of his sincerity, pointing out the last time he trusted Luther he was locked in the basement - Luther admits that he has no reason to be trusted, but he'll prove it to Viktor if he can - and it's cautious predicament with the two of them from here on out, eventually Viktor and Luther both realising the positions they were manipulated into by Harold and Reginald (and Pogo) and their own actions respectively

The other reunions and slightly less tense - Diego and Viktor's being the most tense of the remaining three - but again, they both apologise - Diego's therapy and Viktor's own realisations with the apocalypse playing a part, and it's slightly cold but still forgiveness, Allison is still trying to deal with her own problems in the 60s along with pushing down any of the negative feelings she has about what happened in S1 so it plays very much the same s1 to S3 wise but maybe Viktor is more wary of Allison's forgiveness, and Klaus is the one with the least stake in that plotline

So, okay, he's made up with the majority of the siblings, his emotions are under control, and his powers are more or less under control, how does he cause the end of the world? I'm still so glad you asked besties BC here's the plot twist he doesn't - in which I'll explain, so how does Ben still help Viktor and end up dying but it's nothing to do with the end of the world, and what about the apocalypse at the beginning of s2 - it's all been set up to look like Viktor will cause the apocalypse again in Five (and the audiences) eyes

So why does Ben help Viktor and end up passing on? Instead of running away with Sissy, Viktor tries to decide to stay in the 60s instead - it's not ideal but if he can't bring Sissy with him, then he'll stay, it's the obvious solution only Carl isn't happy with that - and the gun fight ensues - the gun going off throwing Viktor back to the theatre and into a flashback - one no one can reach him in - except Ben

And they still have their talk, and Viktor manages to find his own peace with what happened

So how does the world end? Well, the Commission being dickheads and AJ manipulating Lila for a reason bb with something like this going down between AJ and Five

"Today, tomorrow, next week, almost sixty years from now, it doesn't matter. It's all the same to me."

"Time matters, you can't erase all that time. It'll cause a paradox that could destroy the universe!" (Hello S3 hint) "Surely the rest of the Commission don't see it that way."

"The world was always doomed to end, and your pathetic attempt to save it only doomed it and your siblings faster. I'd almost congratulate you, Five, you managed to fail so incredibly that you made my own job easier."

They figure out the Commission are targeting the Federal building to make it look like an attack and start a nuclear war with Hazel's tape, and stop it from being blown up in time, but bad news - Harlan still has powers and AJ's army is ready and 2x10 plays out basically the same

And where is Reggie in all this? Keeping an eye on what's happening in the background - having his own people investigate the siblings and keeping note of their powers which will come bite them in S3 - he's not explicitly a part but he's definitely doing something in the background

And then, Sparrows.

#i dont claim for any of this to make sense #i just have thoughts and again im not a writer these are just my own opinions #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #tua s2 #ill tag as neg just in case #tua negativity

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