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kitchfit · 6 months

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Year in Review: Books Pt 1

Tumblr deleted the entire first draft of this, which is cool and awesome. It was too long anyways. These aren't meant to be full on analytic reviews, just blurbs about my experience with the books and what I thought about them. I might move into more in depth stuff later on next year.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

He was pride. She was prejudice. Can I make it anymore obvious?

I started this on CD audiobook for the first half before driving my car off of a cliff. I was fine, but Elizabeth Bennet was a casualty of the accident, so I found the rest of the book on Libby with a different reader who had Very different vibes. It kind of fit how I felt about the book. Jane Austen is very good at regaling the audience from Elizabeth's point of view about how Darcy is the shittiest man alive, while turning at the halfway point to reveal he is actually the Only Good Victorian Man to exist.

I've seen this tale play out in both BBC and Keira Knightley formats, which are both fantastic in their own right, but I was significantly more invested in the characters this time around, especially the supporting cast. Elizabeth/Darcy romance was very cute, Jane and Bingley was adorable, Elizabeth's shitty cousin was hilarious. I like the glimpses of how she thinks about the rest of her family that you don't get in the movie. She hates how her dad views her mother as entertainment, she hates how her mother treats her children like products to be sold, she hates how her younger sisters make them all look silly. Damn she's really hateful, huh? Almost like she's preju-OHHHHHHHH.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman

The Funny Cat, The Spider Mom, and the Weird Door

This was a book I was excited to get into. The movie freaked me out when I was little, as did it everyone else, and I'll get to that since I watched it immediately after this. Maybe this Friday. But it isn't anywhere near as vividly horrific as the OG Evil Narnia. In a fun way. There's an implication in this book that the Other World and Other Mother are just two of many possible little horrors that live under your bed or behind the door that shouldn't be there that want to hurt and/or eat you. Kind of like real life. That's okay though, you can get through it alive. And Coraline proves it.

I like her a lot as a character. She isn't near as naive as she is in the movie, and catches on to the nature of what's happening on the end of night one, thus Other Mother kidnapping her parents to serve as motivation to come back. That gives the book freedom to explore the Other World and its nature thoroughly, and watch as it all crumbles around Coraline. I like that everything is just a bunch of bugs stretched into the visage of pleasant things by a giant spider. I also love that spider's contrary motivation. She needs to feed, but there is also a genuine desire to love Coraline, to be a mother, whatever her bizarre conception of what that means. Evil hungry desire is more pressing though. Get in my web, girl.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis

Digimon season one for 1950s British kids.

At some point I decided to reread all of the Narnia books. I got through like, 4 of them in a weird order due to how Libby works. I promise I do read physical stuff its just hard to find the time to finish them. The first book the Narnia line up was originally written for my boy Clive's real life goddaughter Lucy Barfield , who was temporarily displaced as a child during WWII, as a children's story. He even dedicated the book and maybe the whole series to her. However, by the time he finished this one she was already an adult and "too old for fairytales." Classic blunder. I'll still read your stuff, Clive.

The whole of Narnia is a wintery wonderland turned on its head, its magic and majesty suffocating under a thick sheet of ice. Jadis is a very cool antagonist. She's not super complex, but she's a very strong character and extremely threatening villain, as we see throughout the series. The Pevinsies all have a sweet relationship. Edmond's an asshole in a very realistic sense, but they all care deeply for each other in an even more realistic way. The end of the book starts a pattern Mr. Lewis likes to repeat where a quick epilogue is hamfisted into the end that blows over large swaths of time in a hurry to resolve everything. I have problem's with that in later books, but it works best here, skipping to the famous reveal that time moves much faster in Narnia, and two decades or so only equals a few minutes in our world. A little fucked up. Go through puberty again, Pevinsies, this time in BRITISH SCHOOL.

Prince Caspian by Clive

Ocarina of Time for 1950s British kids.

The second book in the series gives more context to the world Narnia lives in, while also screwing with our perception of what Narnia is in first place. A previously unmentioned country to the east invades and colonizes Narnia, oppressing its people and removing magic wherever they can. Lewis can write about the complexities of colonization as he actually comes from a country familiar with this kind of shit, believe it or not. Who are they conquered by? A country of Minotaurs? Dragons? Wayward dwarves still allegiant to Jadis? Humans??? What the hell?

Turns out Narnia is the weird magic fairytale place even within its own universe. Everywhere else is inhabited by eternally 18th century European style society. It's also 1000 years later, but a year for our dudes, so the Pevinsies get to experience how Narnia has changed physically in all that time. Like Cair Paravel, that place two whole pages mention in the first book. I like that the age reversal thing is acknowledged in this book, and how that might have affected our heroes and their development. At the end of the book, the colonizing force gets sent to Earth, and Prince Caspian is crowned as King Caspian. Aslan (or maybe one of animals, idr) says outright that Narnia is better ruled by humans than its own people. Which is. An odd note to end on a book whose main conflict is colonization. Huh.

A Horse and His Boy by C. Staples L.

He was a horse. He was his boy. Can I make it anymore-okay shut up.

This is an interesting one. Five books into the Narnia series and we are introduced to brand new protagonist, with zero connections to previous characters, in a place that is not Narnia. He's a young boy who runs away with a talking horse in their desperate attempt to both escape slavery. They meet a spunky, ass-kicking princess who's also running away, this time from an arranged marriage. Narnia in this story is more of an ideal their working towards, rather than a physical place the story spends time in. The plot is very refreshing in this aspect, especially if its the fifth, or in my case, third Narnia book you've read in a row. It could likely stand on its own outside the rest of the series, though you do get a surprise cameo from the adult Pevinsies pre-wardrobe-return, which is fun.

I do have a couple issues with it though. I'd argue against the idea that all of Narnia is a direct analogue to Christianity. Aslan is definitely furry Jesus, and C. S.'s theological beliefs are an obvious intentional aspect of the storytelling, but most of the books have themes and lessons outside of that and pose a genuinely fun fantasy world to engage with. The religious metaphors in this book specifically are pretty heavy-handed though, and not very delicately woven in. The setting of the story also pulls allusions to several real-life Middle Eastern cultures, and if you think a white British dude in the 50s wrote about that respectfully? Sorry no. There's also a lot of mention of Boy (I straight up forgot that kids name) being Special and Different for having pale skin and blue eyes. :/. At the end is another rapid-fire epilogue that blazes through Boy's life as the new prince of wherever that I think the story could have gone without. Just let it end with dignified mystery, Clive.

The Magician's Nephew by Siwel S. C.

Honestly Clive the mulitverse trope has been done to death, bro

Last Narnia book on the list as of now. Luckily, its also the best one. This is a prequel to the whole of the Narnia continuity, which details the creation of Narnia and the origins of Jadis, but the actual plot revolves around two new Brit kids Digory and Polly. Digory is described as grubby at least sixteen times throughout the story. His mom is sick and his magic uncle sucks ass and he's scared and he has no friends. Polly decides to be that friend which ultimately burns her as he's also a bit of a selfish brat. Learning to get past that brattiness and mature enables Polly to forgive him and ultimately helps him save his mother.

The plot takes place in the Wood Between Worlds, which has still stuck in my head and spurned on my imagination years later. You move outside of Earth to find the grandness of the Milky Way, you escape the Milky Way to discover the imperceivable majesty of the universe, and you find the indeterminate edge of that universe and land yourself in an idyllic forest with trees so high you cannot see the sky, the forest's floor dotted with puddles leading to other worlds. Jadis' origin is also pretty fascinating. A queen so obsessed with ultimate power she destroyed her own empire rather than let her sister take it. Aslan roars the world into existence. The whole vibes on this book are pretty stellar, ngl.

The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath

You wouldn't be cool if it weren't for the lessons that you learnt in the BELL JAR, nah, nana nah nah.

And now for a weird fucking heel turn. And also the last book I'm doing for now. I'm going to be honest, my original interest in this book came from the song "I Cut Myself" by Talkshow Boy, who mentions the book in the above lyric. Also, my college roommate said she liked it a lot. I went in with zero expectations and was surprised at how hard it hit home. I've never been personally institutionalized, but I know people who have, and I can relate to the downward depression spiral Esther goes through in this book.

Its interesting to see the thought patterns and paradigms that Esther voices in her inner monologues that partially lead to her mental break. Little observations that reveal her hyper-awareness and implicit nihilism. They're good observations too. The vivid description of the horrific image of a woman giving birth compared to a dulled animal being hooked into a machine. You can see her perspective on a lot of subjects, probably even agree with much of it. It makes sense, as this is the author famous for vivid and introspective poetry more than anything. Looking at the historical context for this book made me sad, especially given how hopeful the ending was, at least how I read it.

Going to shift into movies at the end of the week. I'll need to start doing these at least bi-weekly if I want to finish before the end of the year. Also more bisexually.

#books #bookblr #thats a tag that exists #reviews #my post #pride and prejudice #narnia #the lion the witch and the wardrobe #prince caspian #a horse and his boy #the magician's nephew #the bell jar #silvia plath #cs lewis #jane austen

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veilchenjaeger · 10 months

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In the time it took me to recover from reading The Locked Tomb, I finally watched the second season of Good Omens (had to wait for my parents to be able to watch it with me), and I want to do a quick post of my first impressions bc I like writing these. (No, I'm not over The Locked Tomb enough to write one for that yet. Maybe soon. Or maybe for Alecto.)

The short version is that I loved it, especially the ending. Season 1 is probably one of my favourite shows ever made; it's so obvious how much love and care went into every second of it, and I'm still impressed by how it manages to both be accurate to the book and modernise and alter the story a little to fit a TV show made decades after the book came out. The pacing, the amount of creativity and very different characters it introduces, the Cold War themes that somehow still work in the 2018 version, all the stuff that just keeps happening - it's just very good. Season 2 is very different from that, regarding the pacing especially. There's a lot less going on. Its focus is a lot more narrow. It's a lot slower, and a lot of it feels like filler, up until the last two episodes re-introduce the Shit Is Happening Left And Right pacing. Ultimately, it's a bridge between the first season and the next one (fingers fucking crossed that it gets made; I'm ready to just start cannibalising Amazon executives), it very much feels like one, and I think that's what it has to be seen as. Neil Gaiman confirmed that that's what it is a long time ago. So, no, it's not as gorgeously done as season 1 - but I went into it expecting a bridge, and I did get an incredibly enjoyable and very heartbreaking bridge that I'm 100% satisfied with. I wanted to see Aziraphale and Crowley and I saw them a lot, the plot is solid, and the last episode really came in with the fucking steel chair and knocked me the fuck out. My mind is rotting in 20 different ways rn. I did not need this after Nona the Ninth.

Anyways, in case there's anyone here who's on the fence about watching season 2 (or about Good Omens!), go watch it. Be at peace. Get your heart broken. (And, like, watch Good Omens, it's so good.)

Spoilery thoughts under the cut.

Starting off with a minor intriguing thing - I was SO on the fence about Crowley and Aziraphale having met before the Fall when I first watched their first meeting, but y'know what? I like it. There really isn't anything that says that they didn't know each other already in their Eden conversation. (I think that in the book, it does read like they know each other.) And I like all the little hints we're suddenly getting at who Crowley used to be before the fall. He was a Throne or a Dominion or above??? HELLO??? If the "Crowley was Raphael" theory ends up being real, I'm gonna start walking up the walls. Anyways, it's cool, these little reminders that Crowley does know Heaven fit very well with the overall theme of criticising Heaven as an institution, and I really hope that this is all build-up for a reveal of what sauntering vaguely downwards entailed for Crowley. Aziraphale's character arc is very much a metaphor for religious trauma and being in a cult, and season 2 puts Crowley in the role of the one who got out of the cult even more explicitly than season 1 did, which... is very appropriate, considering how it all ends.

Next up, I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE that they made Gabriel/Beelzebub canon. Are you KIDDING me. I went through all five stages of grief watching this with my parents right next to me, who had never heard of this ship before and were just sitting there, happily watching things proceed while my entire goddamn brain melted. What the FUCK. The audacity to do this and make it work, at that. I didn't even ship this, ever, and I'm still losing my entire mind about it. Is that what Homestuck readers felt like when Davekat went canon? Absolutely bonkers emotion, 10/10 would experience again. How dare they make me like Gabriel, also. Anyways, it fucking worked, and that's what upsets me the most. This was a genuinely sweet, romantic little story. The thing with the fly? OOF. Adorable. Extremely romantic. I, too, would leave everything I ever knew to go to Alpha Centauri with someone who made me the first gift of my life, saved my memory and sense of self with said gift, and then called it perfect to my face. Crowley is taking notes for wooing his own angel as we speak.

And it's all a big Aziraphale-and-Crowley parallel, of course. It's so fun that there were two of those - I had a chat with my dad about that, and we took note of some very interesting things. Like, it's very obvious that Nina and Maggie are Aziraphale and Crowley's mirror, but it only really hit me afterwards that narratively speaking, Nina is Aziraphale. She gets all the Crowley traits, of course - she's the sceptic, she's the grumpy one, she even calls Maggie "angel" (Cute!!!), and Maggie with her outdated lifestyle and her nerves and her cheerfulness is obviously meant to read as an Aziraphale parallel at first glance. But Maggie is the one who's waiting. She's the one who doesn't quite dare to confess, but tries to get close to Nina nonetheless. And Nina is the one who's in a toxic relationship and who, in the end, says that she needs some more time to get over that, hoping that Maggie will still be there when she's ready. And Maggie of course will be there! Like Crowley has been there for thousands of years and presumably will still be there once Aziraphale finally gets out of the cult for good. I want to believe its foreshadowing - it's certainly a direct parallel to the heartbreak scene in the end, and I want to believe that Beelzebub and Gabriel getting their happy ending is foreshadowing as well. It does drive me slightly insane that every single bit of this season was at least part of a big narrative parallel for Aziraphale and Crowley. It was all about love. I'm sobbing. It's all about LOVE, and hasn't it always been? (And, well, it's not like Anathema and Newt and Madame Tracy and Shadwell weren't Aziraphale and Crowley as well.)

On that note: The emotion I felt when they kissed? Unparalleled. We're explicitly and fully undeniably in the queer main characters zone, bitches. I legitimately almost cried. Of course the love story was pretty much explicit in season 1 already, but in a show that is not a Queer Show(tm) from the get-go, that never was marketed as such, a kiss still means so much, even if it's a sad goodbye kiss.

And speaking of that, finally - I avoided spoilers as much as I could, but I did pick up on the general, uh, unrest in fandom regarding the ending. Like, people apparently hated it and were very vocal about it, to the point where I couldn't even avoid it when I went out of my way to not look at anything Good Omens-related. Fandom annoys me more and more by the day - this is definitely one more thing for the pile of annoyances - and I try not to let that ruin my enjoyment of things, but I was prepared to be let down by the ending. Which is very interesting, because the ending was hands down my favourite part of the season. What the FUCK, people, can we not complain about the episode where we get an onscreen kiss? Anyways, I'm SO intrigued by this ending and the story it begins to tell. Aziraphale as an archangel is a wild status quo, first of all, but mostly, I really like what they did with the characters here. Again, Aziraphale is metaphorically in a cult, and the fact that he cannot let go of the idea that Heaven is supposed to be good, that what Heaven does must ultimately be good, fits that very well imo. He's at the point where he has realised that angels make mistakes and some decisions made in Heaven are wrong, which makes him determined to change things once he's in a position of power, but he's still not out of his cult mindset yet. Being an angel is still an inherently good thing in his mind, so of course he's fucking ecstatic when he thinks that he's able to bring Crowley to Heaven. Only that Crowley is really not about to re-join the fundamentalist cult he already got out of once, thank you very much. So, yeah, this works, and it's heartbreaking. Poor Crowley deserves none of this.

(All of this is also very, very queer - there's the obvious cult metaphor, but Aziraphale is also absolutely a metaphor for internalised homophobia. He gets the opportunity to be with Crowley and be straight, metaphorically, to have their relationship be a socially accepted, good, not sinful one! There's also some of the "Your soul can be saved if you stop being a demon gay" thing in there. I want to give Aziraphale twenty hugs.)

Ultimately, "Come to Heaven with me" vs. "It could just be us" complete with a desperate, heartbreaking, overwhelming goodbye kiss broke my entire goddamn heart. I'm very glad that Neil Gaiman already promised to tell the rest of the story no matter what, even if Amazon doesn't play along. That's not something that can stay unfinished. Anyways, TL;DR: Loved it, will watch again once I know how everything ends and don't have to cry about the ending anymore. Will go look at kiss gifs now.

#/the real issue here is that i'm going to have to dodge conversations with my flatmate about this season #/i know what those would be about and i am not here for it. anyone want to get me another flat so i can move out real quick #[talk less smile more]

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scribhneoir-sidhe · 3 years

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so i recognize that this is. a lot. but,,,, 6, 8, 14, 22, 25, 28, 33, 35, 37, 50, 55, 60, 63, 66, 69, 77, 86, 91, 104, and 122? :)

0_0

Oh thank you, this is a gift

Okay, here we go!

6 (a book with a pink cover) : I'm gonna cheat a bit because only part of the cover is pink but Wild Beauty by Anna Marie McLemore is one of my FAVORITE books, so I don't mind bending the rules. Five bisexual latina cousins all crushing on the same girl, magical realism, and a very good application of social messaging to the themes. I won't say more than that, but really go give it a look!! also my copy is signed Viva México by the author so that makes me love it more

8 (a book you finished in one sitting) : Okay, a couple years ago when Tiamat's Wrath by James S. A. Corey (book 8 of the Expanse series) came out, I started reading it at breakfast in the dining hall, continued during basically all of my classes, and then finished it sometime around 10 or 11 that night (I think). For reference, a quick google tells me that book is about 166,500 words. And I loved EVERY minute of it!

14 (a book that made you trip on literary acid) : Okay, that has definitely got to be Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. Just. All Of It. God, she does some really fantastic things with narrative mechanics in that book, plus just the sheer brilliance of the plot and the mountain of questions and theories I had once I finished it. Also the memes. The memes made me trip literary acid.

22 (your favorite thriller) : Okay, I think I've literally only read one thriller (if it counts, I'm not sure), but The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo. I'm cheating since it's still fantasy, but I had a limited pool of options.

25 (a book by your favorite author) : Okay, so I tend to like books or series more than author's specifically easier to like a work of fiction than a person but I'm gonna go with The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien. I grew up reading his books and I've definitely taken a lot from his writing for my own style, and I still love the Hobbit.

28 (a book you wish you could read as a beginner again) : Oooh this is a really interesting one. I think I'd say Museum of Thieves by Lian Tanner. I can’t remember when I first read it but it’s a middle grade story all about defying authority and escaping corrupt systems. I really need to reread it at some point.

33 (a book with a white cover) : The Weight of Feathers by Anna Marie McLemore! (can you tell I like their writing?). Star crossed lovers of two performing families with magical realism threaded through the narrative! Really fun read and I always appreciate latine characters. There's also Roma representation as well!

35 (a book featuring the found family trope) : I'm gonna attempt to not read any well beaten paths, so I'll say Caliban's War by James S. A. Corey, the second book of the Expanse series (okay that's technically a well beaten path, sue me). A lot of the book is the main characters figuring out their group dynamic and challenging each other to be better and it's just so goooooood!

37 (your favorite heist book) : I mean, what else could I put here? Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo, hands down. Narrowly beats out Six of Crows, only because it has more cons, more emotions, and also Nikolai Lantsov. I'll never get tired of that book.

50 (a book that made you cry a lot) : oh boy, I could say Crooked Kingdom again, that’d be true. But instead I’ll say Persepolis Rising by James S.A. Corey (I read a lot of series, sue me. Also that series is gonna be 9 books long by the end, there’s a lot of material). Anyway I won’t say why I cried, it’s a spoiler, but oh man. I weeped.

55 (a book with a satisfying ending) : The Empire of Gold by S.A. Chakraborty! I really liked how it ended, it placed a lot of focus on the platonic relationships, it left a lot of plot open ended so it felt like the world was still alive, and it showed the main character as being in a position of power while still retaining the subversive and roguish qualities from the start of the series that I loved.

60 (a book that you think about at 3am) : The Empire of Bones by N.D. Wilson. This is the 3rd book in my favorite series, the Ashtown burials and just….. wow there is so much. It has so much depth to it while still being about a 13 year old standing up to a cadre of ancient death and pain gods. It has one of the most beautiful monologues I’ve ever read and that shaped my understanding of compassion and heroism. It has an orange mohakwed Irish monk.

63 (a book that actually made you laugh out loud) : I knew it would make it on the list somewhere but GIDEON THE NINTH BY TAMSYN MUIR. God this book was funny! I won’t spoil any of the jokes, but Gideon is a sarcastic little shit and I love all of her banter with Harrow and the rest of the characters get plenty of cracks in as well.

66 (a book that fucked you up) : oh boy The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch. This book had some visceral shit in it. Like, not exactly in a bad way, its not a game of thrones situation, but stuff that made my fucking skin crawl. Very good book, I heartily recommend.

69 (your favorite mythological retelling) : I’m gonna go with Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman. I first listened to it in audiobook form while on a road trip through the southwest and I really like coming back to it. Sort of reworks the original myth it borrows from, but in a really delightful and fun way.

77 (a book so useless you could use it as a coaster) : ATLAS SHRUGGED BY AYN RAND. Alright, I’ll be honest, I have not yet read this book. I probably will someday just to see how bad it really is. But from what I know about it I would rather get drop kicked off a roof than read that pile of self important, self centered ego circle jerking. In conclusion, I don’t like it.

86 (a book with an insane plot twist) : Okay a bunch of the really insane plot twisty ones I’ve already mentioned and I don’t want to do repeats, so I’m gonna bend the rules and say The Silent Bells by N.D. Wilson, fourth book of the Ashtown Burials series, a book that is not technically finished yet, it is being released serially in this really cool faux newspaper format. The plot twist is that this story ever got off the ground, because due to legal and publisher shenanigans the author wasn’t able to publish the book until 7 or 8 years after the last book came out. But he did! And I’m very happy!

91 (the shortest book you've read) : That would probably be Signs Preceding the End of the World by Yuri Herrera, translated by Lisa Dillman. It’s a really good book I read for an English class about a girl who crosses the US/Mexico border in search of her brother. It’s got a really interesting narrative style that I wasn’t used to and a really cool thematic structure related to the nahuatl journey to the underworld.

104 (a fluffy sweet read) : oh man, that’s tough, I don’t read a lot of fluffy things, even tho it’s what I prefer in my romances. Yeah, the closest I can get is Wild Beauty by Anna Marie McLemore again. (See the first question answered)

122 (your favorite winter read) : Hmmm I don’t necessarily have seasonal reads, but I’ll go with an old family classic The Christmas Mystery, which is about a boy who finds an advent calendar with little scraps of paper behind each door, telling the story of a little girl who in the process of chasing a lamb runs away to Bethlehem (and back in time) to the birth of Jesus, meeting angels and Shepards and other biblical figures. It’s a really sweet story and my family used to read each chapter every day of advent until Christmas Eve.

#COMPLETE #ho.ly.shit.#Jack thank you for that book workout #SNORT #that was an entire bookshelf #books #hope you like it!#long post

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half-man-half-lime · 4 years

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On why being dark makes Worm a good power fantasy

Okay I have a tendency to pointlessly and circuitously ramble so I’m just gonna leave a TL;DR up here: Worm shows that the most powerless people in the most hopeless situations can still make a difference through perseverance.

So here and there I’ve seen posts going around (not gonna search and link the various posts I’m referencing in this post, it’s 2 AM and I’m lazy) about why everyone should shut up about people liking lighter works, and how Steven Universe is a great work of escapism because it lets people experience a world where compassion can win wars and make the world a better place. I’m not gonna argue about whether lighter or darker stuff is better, the point of those posts is people can like what they want (also see that one comic I’m not gonna link where stories are balloons and someone makes a heavy iron balloon and drops it into a pit and someone stuck in the muck grabs a hold of it; you know the one).

But that stuff HAS been making me think about why Worm is a good escapist fantasy in a number of ways. My analysis of the Parahumans stories has been kind of sidetracked by the amazing analysis by the We’ve Got Worm/Ward podcast, all that stuff about characterization and themes and shit, it’s great, but all that stuff plus the YBUTTing (You’re Being Unfair To Taylor, basically dismantling her moral justifications and pointing out the negative effect her moral choices have on her and those around her) kind of make you forget the childish, sadistic appeal of a story about a girl who cuts people’s eyes out and is Completely Justified in doing so and also Extremely Clever like a seasoned D&D player. And that stuff is fun, even if it gets less so after too many rereads. (Seriously, I’ve listened to the audiobooks so many times now, I’ve lost count.)

But one thing Matt and Scott and the reddit commenters have discussed is the usefulness of horror story elements as a way of establishing stakes, which brings me to my point: It’s really fucking empowering to see a nerdy teenage girl take down invincible serial killers and bully god to death when she seems like she should have absolutely no way or right to do so.

Like, one of the reasons One Piece was always so appealing to me, something that sort of faded with the power creep and repetition of the same story beats over and over again, is how satisfying it is to see Luffy and pals take down warlords and tyrants a thousand times stronger than them through sheer force of will. What right does this punk-ass kid from the East Blue with stretchy powers have to take down a powerful Fish-Man, or a lightning-slinging self-proclaimed god, or a seasoned undercover assassin with a thirst for blood? But he does it anyway! He works out and trains and shit, and basically wrecks his body sometimes, and in the end, after a lot of screaming and punching, those guys are gone, and he’s still here! Because they had the audacity to hurt his friends, and he and his pals will fucking bully reality into doing what they want if it means stopping people who do those sort of things.

Now the thing about Taylor Hebert is she isn’t strong, not physically. This bullied kid never got super-strength or web-slingers to swing around on, nor the charisma to make quips and piss off the local mad scientists. She’s clever, but not enough to build a laser gun or a giant robot. She controls bugs. Wowee. Like the Stretchy Man, she should by all rights be underwhelming to deal with, but somehow she always seems to make it out alive, her enemies leaving without the eyeballs or prosthetic foreheads they came in with. (Don’t worry, they both got new ones, it just took a while. Well. Not Valefor.)

And that’s cool in a vacuum, but in the Parahumans universe? That’s an accomplishment. The Endbringers and the Slaughterhouse Nine, the horror as stakes, they’re like an uphill battle against a bigger, steeper uphill battle. And Taylor has bugs. She can’t chop Leviathan in half, and if she tries (which she does, to a degree), she risks drowning, being crushed and paralyzed, and being thrown headfirst into a concrete floor all at the same time. So she slinks around the Endbringers, too far away to be stepped on, giving CPR to the fighters wounded in battle; she plots against the Nine and probes for weaknesses, even if it means risking herself and her teammates. She beats the shit out of the genius killer mannequin man, not with fireballs or hundred-ton punches, but with spiderwebs and glue, and in the end, after being wounded and exhausted, tens of people are alive because of what she did.

To compare this to Steven Universe, or the opposite side of Skitter’s coin, the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (though sadly SU is a better comparison because on top of the positivity it handles things like abuse and trauma) (woe is me that I’m too lazy to write crossover or toneswap fanfic, between Worm and USG by the way, if you want to do that for me, be my guest (Also a Freaks and Geeks mashup, Worms and Germs)), it’s enormously encouraging that Steven is ultimately able to stop the onslaught of genocidal space empresses, not by punching them, but by appealing to their humanity, a task that his upbringing and challenges completely prepared him for. Doreen Green, in a world of angsty heroes and villains and murder and trauma, can befriend her enemies and stop them by suggesting more fulfilling career goals, or end centuries of interstellar war with a chalk board and a day or two of diplomatic negotiations.

And that’s appealing especially today because a lot of people feel tired of fighting and knowing that no amount of talking or empathy will stop transphobes and Trump supporters from making the world a waking nightmare. And plenty of people are tired of stories of Hopeless Bleak Despair, and want a little compassion in their lives. I get that, I truly do. I enjoy those stories for the same reasons.

BUT, Worm means a lot to me right now too. And it wouldn’t be the same without the pain and suffering. Scaring the Slaughterhouse Nine out of Brockton Bay wouldn’t seem like such an achievement if we didn’t see Brian cut to pieces, doomed to permanent PTSD, while the Undersiders lie paralyzed on the floor, subject to Bonesaw’s torturous whims. The defeat of Behemoth would seem a little more predictable and boring if the Avengers pulled it off in an hour, without hundreds of dead heroes (and thousands more who died in past fights), infighting, and the threat of an ally destroying all of India in a misguided attempt to stop the beast. Mannequin running away from a super-puncher or a fireball-shooter wouldn’t feel like the accomplishment it does coming from the scared teenage girl whose only weapons are some squishy bugs, a knife and baton, and some craft supplies.

Worm presents a world where suffering is everywhere, where the where traumatized, hopeless people can fight and fight and endure endless pain, lose loved ones and body parts, be given just little enough power by those that seek to exploit and hurt them that they shouldn’t be able to fight back, to leverage nothing but pepperspray and spiders against dragons, and, after all that struggling and fighting and pain, actually make the bad guys stop hurting people. (it’s like that Chesterton quote in Coraline that people misattribute to Neil Gaiman, about how fantasy shows us how dragons can be beaten.)

And it’s an upsetting and exhausting story to read, especially binge reading or listening, and it ends in genuine heartbreaking tragedy, yet somehow the victory seems like one of the most earned wins in all of fiction. Nobody should be able to defeat Grieving Golden Jesus or Superdense Hurricane Godzilla, and that’s why it’s so empowering when Taylor Hebert fucking does.

Isn’t that just as reassuring, in a world that seems so hopeless right now, when we all feel so powerless, so tired of struggling? I think so.

#Parahumans #Worm Spoilers #Mild One Piece Spoilers #Steven Universe Spoilers #Mutilation.;#Mild Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Spoilers

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britesparc · 4 years

Text

Weekend Top Ten #452

Top Ten Monsters from Children’s Media

It's Halloween! Literally today! Did you notice? I think it's been a little bit less omnipresent this year, but maybe that's because I've not been going round the shops as much. It's inadvisable to go trick-or-treating so that kinda takes a bit of the excitement out of the equation too. But you can still buy pumpkins and sweets and watch The Nightmare Before Christmas with the kids, so it’s not a total wash-out. And I love Halloween, so I’ll always try to make the bare minimumest of efforts; our Halloween is being a bit weird regardless, but I’m determined (as of writing) to give them a nice, indoorsy find-the-candy activity, as well as making some spooky houses and dressing up as, I dunno, Death of the Endless or Borat or Angus Deaton or whoever they’re into at the moment.

Anyway, kids and Halloween. One thing that’s quite good about kids is introducing them to films, and then gauging when they’re ready for more advanced films. So already this Spooky Season we’ve watched the original Addams Family movie (Values coming this weekend!); creepy and kooky, yeah, but one thing it lacks is a truly memorable monster. Thing? Cousin It? I guess, but one thing that kids’ films (and books, and TV…) excel at is creating terrifying monsters. And, hey, it’s Halloween! Let’s celebrate!

So what follows is a list of monsters, ghouls, and other miserables that have traumatised me in my youth, or else that I just thought were hella creepy as an adult, from all across the spectrum of children’s media. Book characters, TV characters, and lots of creatures from movies. Are they scary? Well, yes; in some cases, very much so. In others, I just hope I haven’t given my children nightmares by letting them watch Spirited Away. I mean, seriously guys: children are supposed to watch (or read) these things! Neil Gaiman, I’m looking at you, you dangerous bastard. Buttons for eyes?! For Christ’s sake.

Anyway, here we go: my favourite monsters from children��s media. Get your creep on.

Gmork (The Neverending Story, 1984): I’ve never read the book, but the big bad wolf from the movie legit terrified me as a child. Horrific, huge, a black beast with a vicious visage; he was a force of nature. Something about him made him unnatural (the fact he was a special effect?) and this added to his uncanny horror. Scarier than American Werewolf, and I saw that when I was a kid too.

The Other Mother (Coraline, Neil Gaiman, 2002): too old for this to be a childhood nightmare, she’s still unrelentingly scary; a would-be supermum with homicidal overtones, that primal fear of your carers turning on you. In reality she’s some kind of timeless creature of consumption (“the Beldam”) with supernatural powers, so yeah – scary. But really it’s the fact she has buttons for eyes that terrifies.

The Grand High Witch (The Witches, Roald Dahl, 1983): dispensing with common witchy folklore, Dahl created a coven of hideous, bald, toe-less monsters who united in a campaign to kill all children. The Grand High Witch is particularly evil and ugly, with a suitably diabolical plan; the greatest monster and most insidious villain Dahl created. She also inflicts wounds on the protagonists, which – admirably – the book’s ending does not gloss over.

The Weeping Angels (Doctor Who, from 2007): is Doctor Who a kids’ property? I have always and probably will always say yes, so I get to include these scary-ass statues. A monster who can only move when you’re not looking at it, suitably scary; but the fact it moves even if you blink? Nightmare fuel, administered straight into the veins courtesy of Stephen Moffat. Great backstory, beautiful gimmick, and a wonderful design; classic Who monstrosity.

Terror Dogs (Ghostbusters, 1984): it’s a comedy so most of its ghosts and ghouls end up being played more or less for laughs; obviously the likes of Slimer and Stay-Puft, but even Gozer isn’t really presented as scary. But the Terror Dogs are something else; meaty, hefty monsters with gruesome faces, who chase and catch our heroes. The scene where they grab Dana, arms tearing through chair upholstery, is proper horror stuff.

Wheelers (Return to Oz, 1985): another literary critter I only saw in a film, the Wheelers freaked me the eff out as a kid. Punkish rogues who tool around on unnervingly long limbs ending in tiny wheels, they’re teased by creepy graffiti in a post-apocalyptic Oz, chasing and bedevilling Dorothy. Genuinely threatening, genuinely creepy.

No-Face (Spirited Away, 2001): partly it’s the creepy visage, a ghostly body with featureless face (hence, er, “No-Face” I guess); but then he starts eating people, becoming a vast, amorphous monster, seemingly unstoppable, destroying all in his path. His subsequent redemption (of a sort) reveals shades and depths that deepens the film as a whole, but he’s still scary as all get out at the start.

The Skeksis (The Dark Crystal, 1982): a veritable tribe of hideous vulture-things, part of their unsettling nature is their scary design (all shrivelled flesh and sharp edges) and part of it is their repulsive behaviour, their regal dress shredded and filthy; they turn on each other, one-up each other, seek to undermine (or even kill!) each other. They’re just nasty, and as a kid I found them incredibly sinister.

Oogie Boogie (The Nightmare Before Christmas, 1993): in a film stuffed with monsters of various shapes and sizes, it’s a fat hessian sack who provides the true scares. A violent and threatening monster with the manner of a mob boss and a dash of New Orleans cool, he’s a literal bag full of bugs, slimy and sinister and full of malevolence. He threatens Santa, for Pete’s sake!

Constance (Monster House, 2006): another straight-up horror film for kids (even if it’s got gags and stuff), Constance is a ghost (scary!) who possesses a house. It’s a scary house for sure, and the various tricks and traps she enacts for the kids are Poltergeist-y in the extreme. There’s an interesting sadness here that might undercut the scares in the end, but for the most part the house is a big ol’ fright-fest.

Right, there we go; ten proper scary monsters that are supposed to be suitable for kids. Can you imagine it? Wheels for hands, buttons for eyes, and no friggin’ face! No wonder we’re so messed up as a species if this is what we’ve been mainlining as children.

Shame I never got round to Zelda from Terrahawks, mind.

#top ten #films #books #tv #scary #halloween #scary films #happy halloween #october 31

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spaceymcspaceship · 4 years

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22?? maybe??

time heist

circa nowhen

me being like u can have a little 12, as a treat, as a break from 10

i really love this episode idk why

is it all the familiar faces? is it my childhood love of ocean’s eleven? is it clara’s fucking suit? is it the doctor calling himself out in yet another scene so brilliantly delivered by capaldi? is it the line “not the last of its species, the last two” and its subtle parallel to two time lord disasters?

whatever it is i do genuinely love this episode

the runaway bride

circa 2007

i just really really really love donna

like yes she’s so mad and spends the first twenty minutes yelling at the doctor

oh god i missed that he called her unimportant too that kills ME

but then by the time we get to her finding out that her fiance was just using her? like the doctor’s realization of that moments before her? my heart is aching

her protectiveness immediately after of the doc?

and then he takes her to the creation of the earth???

and she stops him??? from taking vengeful time lord thing too far???

and then the end scene is so tender and Soft and i’m crying because i want them to be best emotionally supportive buds travelling the universe together forever

blink

circa 2007

i was trying so hard to figure out why this was 2007 and not 2008 like the rest of season 3 and finally i think it was bc at the end we have a year later and then she meets 10 and martha, but it hasn’t happened yet for them, but i still don’t know exactly how we got that time

anyway time is one big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff

both doc and companion lite episodes are interesting to me and i’ll have to keep an eye out moving out of rtd era bc i can’t really recall many?

anyway this whole ep is gold and baby mulligan sells it here

thanks for making us afraid of statues doctor who

turn left

circa alternate 2007 (and 2008 and 2009)

i put this one here bc the turning point is in 2007 and i was trying to mix up 10 as much as i could...but it does lean heavily on the events of seasons 3 and 4 so idkkkk

anyway i love donna noble just gotta repeat that

rose!!!! i forgot that every time rose comes back on the show she just glows up more and more

also it really strikes me how much she is playing the doctor’s role here (she even points it out herself) which makes me have a lot of 13 feels thx

‘i shan’t it’s christmas’

ICONIC

‘the most important woman in the whole of creation’

it’s so wild bc that line stuck with me when i first watched it in high school and it still makes me emotional

but you know what resonates now?

the ‘i’m tired. i’m so tired.’

she doesn’t want any of that responsibility and weight and doesn’t think she’s important and doesn’t want to keep fighting

and that’s me crying

i forgot how hard this episode goes with the alt timeline stuff like it is not even remotely in the vicinity of fucking around

and honestly the risky choices they make could potentially not land at all and could feel like they’re there for shock value but everyone onscreen (and behind it too i imagine) is pouring as much truth as they can into it and is committed to the actual horror that is this alternate timeline and it absolutely lands

god what an episode

nightmare in silver

circa nowhen

so that may have been a lie i think this one actually goes vaguely in the future

anyway here it helped breakup 10 eps so that’s good

i was like why an abandoned amusement park that’s cool but odd

and then i realized neil gaiman that’s why

anyway cybermen are more interesting when there’s more than just a painfully slow build to a reveal of a cybermen army ready to take over oh noes

and so HOLY SHIT SMITH

11 vs the cyber-planner is actually unbelievable???

his acting my god

it’s interesting bc there are a lot of similarities to the end of season 12 plot wise

but tonally this episode is so wildly different and serves a completely different purpose in the narrative and season that i have no motivation to draw parallels bc they’re both just doing interesting but separate things

smith and jones

circa 2008

who’s ready for some martha jones????

martha just deserves better. like. all the time.

i mean this is martha ‘you’re a doctor? yeah well i’ll call you that when you earn it’ jones

judoon platoon upon the moon

that’s all

haha dr. stoker i see what u did there

there are so many moments where you just have to be like what the fuck am i watching and the vampire lady drinking out of the doc’s neck with a straw is definitely up there

i level up every time martha calls herself a doctor or says that she’s going to be one

the lazarus experiment

circa 2008

we r rolling folks

how many doctor who episodes has gatiss been in my god????

black tie episode niiiiiiice

we’ve been name dropping harold saxon in literally every single episode present day this season and last my goodness

i can’t imagine what that’s about lol

maybe we’ll find out tomorrow

#chronological chaos #lots of progress today #lots of gushing about donna #thoughts #time heist #trb #blink #turn left #nis #saj #tle

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kolbisneat · 5 years

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MONTHLY MEDIA: August 2019

The cool winds of fall are picking up and so wraps up another month of the year 2019! I dunno I’ve been writing these for so long now that I’m having trouble coming up with good intros.

……….FILM……….

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) I had no idea that this was the film’s true name and ho boy. Perhaps not as silly as some of the better Fast movies, but still a lot of fun. I also couldn’t get this tweet out of my head while watching it.

The Babysitter (2017) Fairly standard B movie stuff. It had a few genuinely funny moments, questionable writing, and a brisk 1.5 hour runtime. It could’ve been better but, in fairness, it could’ve been a lot worse.

……….TELEVISION……….

Bachelor in Paradise (Episode 6.01 to 6.08) I think I like this so much because it feels like the television equivalent of fanfiction: a bunch of characters from separate stuff you already know smushed together into a wild and unexplainably fun set of circumstances. It makes watching the seasons of Bachelor and Bachelorette all the more worthwhile.

Neon Genesis Evangelion (Episode 1.04 to 1.06) Clearly I’m sloooooooly chipping away at this and the show, itself, is a slow burn. I imagined that each episode was going to deal with an Angel (maybe a formula more like Power Rangers?) but it’s great that entire eps are dedicated to battle aftermath and preparations when a new threat appears. Good stuff.

……….READING……….

The Rook by Daniel O’Malley (Complete) This was presented to me as a sort of “Men in Black but British and with magic” and I think that’s a good fit. Though I’d maybe add that it’s as if it was a magical Bond movie only we follow an amnestic Moneypenny. It’s rare that I read through a book so quickly and would catch myself casually thinking about it during the day. Highly recommend.

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman (Complete) This feels like it was written to be made into a film, but maybe I’m reading too much into it. A lot of seemingly random plots and characters all culminate in the grand finale and it felt appropriately cinematic for a comedy about the apocalypse. Plus it has Pratchett’s version of Death that I love with all my heart. So great.

Animal Man Vol. 1 & 2 by Grant Morrison, Chas Truog, Doug Hazlewod, & Tom Grummet (Complete) There’s something about Grant Morrison’s work that never quite works for me. His high-level stuff is interesting, but it feels disconnected in an alien way. Maybe that’s why he’s a good fit for Superman. Writing a ground-level everyman hero doesn’t seem to mesh all that well and it hard to hook into the plot. Alongside Swamp Thing in the late 80s/early 90s, it was really a time for activism and environmentalism in comics, wasn’t it? It’s interesting that Animal Man shifting to be a vegetarian is a major shock and plot point. Anyway I appreciate that it’s well-written but it’s not for me.

Orc Stain by James Stokoe (Complete) I’m conflicted on this. On one hand, the art and world-building and characters and story are all great. Like really really fun (also rather “adult” in that it’s graphic and lewd, but still super fun). On the other hand, this volume collects 5 of 7 completed issues, so it doesn’t tell a satisfying story. As I understand, the 7 are of a planned 10, but that the remaining 3 issues still aren’t done after years so I kinda feel like we won’t get a conclusion to this. So while I want to suggest you check it out, it’s only with the understanding that this isn’t going to tell a complete arc.

Dr. Slump Vol. 1 & 3 by Akira Toriyama (Complete) Simple, juvenile, fun. I really loved reading this but admit I could tell you maybe...3 of the plotlines from the collection? It’s silly and kinda slice of life and funny and occasionally inappropriate (I try to take it with a grain of salt given translation, cultural differences, and the fact it was published in the 80s). Wait there was a cartoon of this and it makes perfect sense! Reading this felt like watching cartoons as a kid. Plot lines jump around and resolve at breakneck speed, consequences are nil, and the humour is fast and loose. Okay great we figured it out together and I intend to read more. Also the library didn’t have volume 2.

……….AUDIO……….

Infest the Rats�� Nest by King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard (2019) I tend to prefer King Gizzard’s more upbeat and succinct efforts, so this is right up my alley. The narrative is fun, the songs are thrashy but still very much King Gizzard tracks, and they were great live.

……….GAMING……….

Maze of the Blue Medusa (Satyr Press) The group is getting deeper into the maze and so the threats and intrigue are growing! They’ve met a few key players in the labyrinth but I don’t think they quite know how to interact with them. Maybe that’s on me.

A Red & Pleasant Land (Lamentations of the Flame Princess) It’s been awhile since the party adventured through Wonderland, but now that they’ve attended the Hatter’s party, they’ve learned a lot more about what they’re up against and (maybe?) what the stakes are. Also they stole a piglet and then promptly returned said pig after threat of ambush.

And that’s pretty much it! As always, I’m keen to get any of your recommendos to stuff to read/watch/hear/play and have a great weekend!

#Monthly Media #Rambles #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb

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momo-de-avis · 5 years

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Do you have any writing tips for someone that is definitely not a writer but wants to be better at writing anyway? That might be too vague so I'll say this, I have a lot of trouble getting an idea that isn't either something really small that doesn't make a narrative or something gigantic and complicated that I dont have the will to take on. No middle sliders in my life.

You have an issue my boyfriend has, he has great ideas but either believes they’re just something too small for a long narrative or so long and complex he doesn’t know how to plot them.

I can’t tell you what the right way is, because everyone is different of course, but I think there’s two ways you can go about it to try and figure out which might help you best.

First of all, take notes on every idea you have. I’m serious. However small it seems, just write it down. Even if it’s something as trivial as ‘man eats an apple while staring at a tree’, whatever. I find that, when something really tiny like that pops into my head with that thing of ‘dang, I need to write this’ but it just seems way too trivial for me to care, it’s because of how I’m visualizing it. I’ll tell you this, this one time I was having a cup of coffee near the library after a break and I saw this woman in the gardens looking at a tree, and that’s what gripped me in that moment. It was really stupid, but the thing I saw was what made me explore that for some reason. I thought she looked sad, I don’t know why, it just looked really sad, and it looked like that sad woman just casually looked up at a cypress tree like she wanted to see something pretty on a shitty day. Later on, must have been years, I was trying to write a scene where a character was supposed to compose a text for school about why she mattered and the only thing that came to mind was that woman looking up at that tree. I’m telling you this because the littlest thing can really help. If you get that unexpected pang of ‘damn, this is cool’ or ‘wow, this is really pretty’, take the chance to write down the what and why at least. Because you never know!

Now, as for development, there’s two ways to go about it that might help you. You can explore the character-driven side of narrative, or the plot-driven. These are, I’ll be honest, two things I have a hard time distinguishing but I mostly follow character-driven.

Plot-driven stuff generally has people planning beforehand (hence why I suck at it lmao). Some people follow the 3 Act structure, or other ways to go about it with planning (this is a good place to check out a few). As the name says, the plot is the star. There is a narrative you want to develop. There’s a central plot with probably very little sub-plots, but that one plot is the main goal. Most likely, one protagonist or two, both with goals that they will achieve or not at the end.

Character-driven, though... the characters make the story. It’s really hard to explain, so I’ll explain how I do it. I essentially have to have the characters very well established. Who they are, psychologically. Once I know them, I let the story flow naturally.

This has helped me a lot because most of the times I have a premise, not a plot, and on my first draft (not even a first draft, more like preliminary exercise lmao), I just try that approach to try and understand who these characters are or what I want them to be, so that they can move the story. Eventually, what happens is I have the inciting incident settled, the lowpoint as well or just something in the middle that is a plot device, and the ending established, but as I progress, since I know the characters, new things emerge like, completely new conflicts and reactions that just occur to me as I progress. But this is my method, it’s how I work.

For me, personally, sitting down just TRYING to find a plot, or an extra for the already existing plot, is tiresome and it drains me. So I just go ahead and do something and see where it goes. I follow the character instead of the plot (ask stuff like “what would she do if a stranger bumped into her on the subway, what should do if she witnessed this or that, what would she say if someone asked her this and that”, and go from there).

Another thing is: find your voice. I mean mostly style. I find that most of the times people struggle with this because they are struggling with finding their style, because once you get your voice established it might become easier in developing your story. For example, I always loved bullshitting my way through stuff if it involves words lmao, and when it came to creating long stories, I had an issue with planning. I remember at school my teachers would have us write a detailed plan of our story before the actual story, and we were forced to turn them both in for grading, which fucking sucked, because I don’t plan.

Then I read Virginia Woolf and learned about this neat little thing called ‘stream of consciousness’ and thought, fuck you, 9th grade teacher. Stream of consciousness is essentially a style where the author focuses on one small detail, seemingly trivial, and then develops an entire fluid string of throughs that interconnect with each other however contrasting they are (why the sentence “Mrs. Dalloway thought she’d buy the flowers herself” is so remarkable, because for the WHOLE BOOK, Woolf debates about many things, seldom being flowers. Hell, one of my favourite short stories is her meditating on a fly that lands on a bowl of milk).

So what I learned with this was: bullshitting your way out of purple prose has an academic word for it! Great! This also validated a lot my lack of planning, meaning that every time I drivelled instead of following a step-by-step plot I was actually building something worth a damn, because that exercise of developing a string of thoughts that are born from one shitty thing is something that can happen inside a novel.

So you see, finding my style, in this case, helped me find my voice and it became very easy ever since to juggle my methods with my ideas. This is my experience, of course, and it’s worth what it’s worth, but this little thing is what helped me establish that, I might have an idea, but if I let it flow, it might grow into something.

Of course, there’s that last advice: read more, watch more TV shows and movies within the genre you’d like to explore, etc etc, but I think it always goes without saying.

And one more thing: no story, for me, is too small or too long. It has its own natural length. Sometimes, we have ideas that are naturally shorter. It just means they’re short stories, or novellas, or novelettes. When my boyfriend told me he had that same problem -- that he had ideas he just didn’t know how to develop into full books -- I told him: then they’re short stories. And that’s fantastic.

The thing is, being a writer isn’t like something immutable, you’re not the same always, you know, you’re not always in this place, with this style, writing about this thing. You keep changing, keep finding new voices, keep exploring new angles, just continuously growing, as with any other artistic field. So maybe right now, those might be short stories, but who knows in the future?

I was reading American Gods and Neil Gaiman apparently republished it a second time, a much longer version his former editor had told him to cut down, and at the beginning he quotes Stephen King on why he did it: cause there were small bits in it, sub-plots if you will, editors are keen on thinking they don’t add to the main plot, but they build the story as a whole, paint the colours needed for the setting, the ambience, the narrative outside the main plot, and both authors felt their concepts, their ideas, weren’t complete without them.

My first advice when someone has an idea is always this: write it down, however it is, with whatever you have. It might be one paragraph. It might be 400 pages. Whatever you have, it’s just a first draft, and the goal of a first draft is getting it down on paper, not turning it into the finished work. It’s the first step.

And if it’s gigantic? Make it gigantic. This is Miss Only Writes Gigantic Shit speaking. I mean monstrous. Especially first and second and even like, third and fourth draft (man I have a lot of drafts), it’s so brutally long I seriously have to take a step back and think “bitch, slow down”. Eventually, I chop down stuff. Scenes that don’t add anything, repeated stuff, scenes that establish what is already established -- just stuff that misses the eye.

Just to say, let the story have its natural rhythm in the beginning stages. Writing is like baking, as I say: you need to set it aside and let it settle for a while, and then when you come back to it with a clear head, you’ll be able to compose it better. Eventually, it drives you down misery road and actually have to do the dreadful thing of leaving stuff out -- it’s sad, I won’t deny, looking at this one character and saying “goodbye, you were a good one, but I have to put you into the Unused Character Pile, maybe one day you’ll find your light, but not today, and I’m so sorry, but where you are right now, you’re useless lmao”. It’s a step that comes eventually, but it’s not needed in the early stages.

But in the end, it all comes down to motivation, I think. So first and foremost, I would say... find your motivation to write whatever you have. You could read more into the genre you’re thinking of, or you could try and write small vignettes of the story you have in mind (just pick a scene and try writing it down, just to see). You could try a challenge of sorts, like picking up a concept, a word, a sentence, and try developing it. Create a habit too -- don’t mind that “write every day” stuff, do it whenever you feel like it, whenever you get that tingle of ‘damn I feel like writing’, just answer that call. And always believe in your ideas, and I say this because I find that a lot of lack of motivation comes from ‘my idea sucks’ or ‘it’s been done before’. Your ideas are yours alone, so explore them as much as you can.

I used to have a website saved that I lost and this is the closest thing to it I found, but try this out for like a first plot, or just to generally get an outline of your idea. It has HELPED ME TREMENDOUSLY when I have a new idea that just makes me think “Great! now what the fuck do I do with it?”

I hope this helped, anon!! And sweet, sweet writing, my friend!

#Anonymous

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rad-neto · 5 years

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“Feels Like Drowning.”

@lawlu-events | FOR THE LAWLU BIG BANG 2018 | artwork by @ariririsu

He was in love.

A simple conclusion brought together by a series of not exactly unfortunate events. He was quite simply in love and almost terrifyingly so.

Oh god.

He was in love.

It wasn’t as simple as he thought it was going to be, actually. In fact, he is rather terrified. He was in love and scared and he had never felt something as amazing as those two emotions smashed together like some disgusting sandwich.

At twenty-seven years old he fell in love for the very first time and it felt like drowning.

Trafalgar D. Water Law, P.h.D. in a lot of things that aren’t particularly important to this story. But he was a medical person, to be unspecific. He was medical and magical, like most folk were. Magical, that is, not medical. Although there were plenty of medical people out there, just to clarify. But Law was a wizard as well as a surgeon and it came in handy in tricky situations, he supposed. Like saving the life of a seventeen year old boy who had gotten himself impaled on a thing. Yes, a thing, just a thing because a surgery that happened two years ago was two years too long for him to bother remembering what exactly a person was impaled with because two years ago it didn’t really matter to him.

Two years later it did matter a lot more than he expected because two years later a lot of unexpected things began to occur in his life, that on any normal day he would question, but there was no normal day left for him to be allowed to ponder those thoughts. Two years later, he met a boy named Monkey D. Luffy, a wizard like him. A freakishly powerful wizard who could probably split mountains with a simple armament spell casted on his fist. Not only that, but Luffy had, like, a lot of insanely powerful wizard friends who scared Law a lot, not that he would ever admit that.

But he supposed it was his fault anyway for saving Luffy’s life two years ago.

It started in January. He received a knock on his door at five in the evening. It was a Saturday and it was his day off and he was just about to order some dinner from that Thai restaurant down the street when it happened. With a sigh, Law set down his cell phone and walked up to the door, opening it without checking the peep hole first. On the other side was two men. They were both the same height, roughly. One had wavy blonde hair and a burn that covered the left side of his face which would seem terrifying if it weren’t for the fact that his smile was gentle and kind and not at all psychotic like you would expect. The other had black hair and several freckles decorating his face. He didn’t look as friendly as the other man, but Law willed himself to be unbothered by it.

“Can I help you?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound as impatient as he felt.

“Sorry for bothering you,” the blonde one said. “But we had just moved in next door and we kinda felt the need to introduce ourselves to the neighbors. My name is Sabo and this is my brother Ace and we also have a little brother named Luffy but he’s out with his friends right now so it’s just us at the moment. I made casserole as a gift.” He held up a foil covered container Law just now noticed and before he could say anything it was pushed into his hands.

From a crack in the foil, he could smell the dish and its savory, cheesy aroma had his stomach aching. “Thank you,” he said, almost unsurely. “I’m Dr. Trafalgar Law, it’s a pleasure meeting you.” Again, with the formalities. He was tired of speaking so politely after having to do so much of it at the hospital already.

The brothers left him with brief instructions of how to heat up the casserole if it gets too cold before returning to the apartment beside his. He really was grateful for the food, it saved him from wasting money on mediocre Thai food takeout. Law spent the next few hours preparing and eating dinner alone while watching reruns of Doctor Who on his box TV.

While being a surgeon does get him a lot of money, Law was more of the type to conserve his money rather than spend it recklessly on things that weren’t essential to him like a fancy house or car. Hell, he didn’t even drive to work, he took the bus just so he could save a couple dollars that he could use to pay rent and his bills.

He shoveled another bite of casserole into his mouth, chewing slowly as he watched the opening sequence of the Doctor Who episode began to play. One might think a life like this was lonely, but he didn’t mind it. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Not even when he wakes up alone in his bed, the sheets cold and the silence deafening. Not even when he eats dinner alone, watching television until he passes out on his couch. Not even when he unlocks the door to his apartment and walks into an empty home. He wasn’t lonely. He wasn’t lonely at all.

Suddenly, his door blasted open and he was sprayed with bits of wood and brick.

Of course he was surprised by this. Exploding doors was not a common occurrence. It wasn’t even mentioned in the advert when he found this vacant apartment a few years ago.

Law coughed up the smoke that had invaded the lungs, swiping at the dust in the air as he stood from his seat and approached his ruined doorway. On the floor of his apartment was a boy. A boy wearing a straw hat and sandals. The boy laid there for a few moments before slowly detaching himself from the ground, dust and debris covering every part of him. He coughed once.

“Hi,” the boy said cheerily, grinning at Law.

“You destroyed my door.”

Sabo and Ace suddenly appeared from what used to be his doorway, concern etched in their expressions. “Luffy!” Sabo exclaimed in surprise. It took him a moment to connect the dots and his pleasant surprise turned to disapproval. “Luffy, what did we say about using destructive spells indoors?”

“Not to?” the boy answered unsurely, looking up at his brother with an innocent and sheepish smile.

Ace grabbed Luffy by the collar and dragged him out into the hallway as Sabo repeatedly apologized for his brother’s behavior and that he would deal with the damage immediately. Law could do nothing except blink as the three of them disappeared, the door repairing itself after being hit with a quick spell from the blonde brother.

He believed those brothers were the most bizarre neighbors he had ever met in his entire life.

After tidying up his apartment with a series of cleaning spells, Law went to bed. He slept only briefly before waking and, well, getting on with his day. It was still the weekend so he intended to spend what was left of it relaxing, something he didn’t get to do often on any other day. He wore comfortable clothes: a pair of joggers and a plain t-shirt. He thought of all the things he needed to do and was glad that he didn’t need to leave his apartment at all unless he wanted to. And he didn’t want to. Not at all.

Law laid on his couch and read a book. And it wasn’t a medicine related book at all. It was a book with a real story, with characters and plot and it was the best thing he had ever read since before he became a surgeon. What was he even reading? Probably Neil Gaiman or something, he had a handful of his books. But it didn’t matter to him because he was actually reading a book because he wanted to not because he had to. And he liked that. Doing things for pleasure, not for work. And that was something he was not going to do today. Work.

A knock on his newly-repaired door interrupted his book reading and he grumbled as he doggy eared the page he was on and set the novel on his coffee table.

Who dares to interrupt my reading time? He thought in a very Mufasa sounding voice, which he immediately regretted and erased the memory of ever thinking in such a way. It was embarrassing to say the least.

Opening the door, he saw the straw hat boy from last night. Luffy, he believed. Law rose a brow at him, urging him to speak.

“Uh, well,” Luffy began, frowning in thought. “Sabo said I had to apologize for breaking your door last night. So, sorry, I guess.” He grinned brightly and it was almost blinding.

Despite his words, Luffy didn’t sound very apologetic at all. Law decided to ignore that and tell him he already forgave him so he can go back to his own apartment so that Law could be left alone, again. But then Luffy held up a pie dish.

“Sabo also made you this! As a gift. It’s really tasty, Sabo always makes tasty things, but not as much as Sanji does. Sanji’s my friend! He cooks in a real fancy restaurant downtown. But he’s also very good at kicking things and it’s fun when he and Zoro fight all the time. Oh, Zoro is my other friend, he has green hair and uses three swords to fight and it’s super cool! One time he fought a dragon can you believe that? Because I can, I saw it with my own two eyes,” Luffy rambled, pointing at his eyes for emphasis.

It was clear that he had more to say and Law wasn’t really interested in any of it, but he was trying not to be rude so he did something he wouldn’t have expected himself to do in a million years and invited the boy into his apartment. Luffy walked in cheerily and set the pie on the table, sitting on top of it as he continued to talk about his friends.

“Besides Zoro and Sanji, there’s also Nami, Robin, Chopper, Usopp, Franky, Brook, Jinbei,” he counted them off on his fingers as Law grabbed plates for the pie. “Nami is real mean sometimes, and stingy and greedy and other bad things. But she can be nice, too. She lives on a tangerine orchard with her big sister Nojiko. Nojiko is nicer than Nami but Nami is my friend because she’s mean. It’s a whole thing.” Law sliced the pie and scooped a piece for himself and Luffy. “Robin is super serious. Well, sometimes she makes a joke that I don’t really understand and she says weird stuff like “I hope we don’t die” or something like that. It’s weird but kinda funny too, especially when she scares Nami and Usopp. Speaking of Usopp, he has this real long nose, he looks kinda like Pinocchio and—yes, I’d like ice cream with my slice, thanks—and he’s a real wimp but he’s brave when he wants to be and that’s what’s great about him.” Law set the plate of pie beside Luffy and sat down in front of him with a bored expression. “Then there’s Chopper who’s a talking reindeer. He’s also a doctor and he’s super funny. Do you know any talking animal doctors?” He shoveled a portion of pie into his mouth, chewing obnoxiously.

Law had made himself tea and sipped from his mug before answering. “Yes, actually, I do. One of my colleagues is a polar bear mink,” he said, taking a bite of his own pie.

Luffy’s eyes lit up like light bulbs. “A talking polar bear?” he exclaimed excitedly, bits of crust and filling spraying from his mouth and Law had to grimace.

“Yes,” he confirmed, pulling out his cell phone and browsing through it to find a picture. Once he found one, he showed it to the boy. “His name is Bepo and he works as my assistant surgeon.”

Luffy grinned at that, teeth stained red from the cherry filling and crumbs were wedged between them. It was a hideous smile and yet Law found it strangely charming. Which he would never admit. Ever. He put his phone back in his pocket and focused his attention onto his pie. When he looked up, he saw that Luffy had practically inhaled his slice of pie and he was unsure if he should be impressed or horrified.

“Oh yeah,” Luffy burped. And I mean actually burped. Somehow he managed to create words from a disgusting noise. “I forgot to introduce myself. Sabo says that’s bad manners.” Obviously Luffy had been minding his manners throughout his entire visit. “My name’s Monkey D. Luffy! I’m gonna become King of the Wizards!”

It was a ridiculous ambition because becoming King of the Wizards was a myth and more of a children’s fairytale, but he decided not to say anything about that. “Dr. Trafalgar D. Water Law,” he introduced in turn. “I’m a surgeon at the hospital downtown.”

“‘S nice to meet you, Torao!” That wasn’t his name but okay, whatever, he was tired.

Luffy hopped down from his seat on the table and dusted the crumbs off his shorts. “Thanks for the pie. I’ll come again later to hang out! We’ll be the best of friends!” And then he waved. And then he left.

Law should be upset that Luffy had just invited himself over for whenever he felt like coming, but he was terrified to find that he was actually looking forward to his next visit. He was just too damn charming.

Luffy visited frequently. At first, he came only on the weekends, but then he started visiting in the middle of the week, and then he started bringing along some of his friends. The first time, he had showed up with his brother Ace. Now Law was fine with that because Ace was also his neighbor and he did his best to make them comfortable and to avoid the intimidating glare he would feel directed at the back of his head every time he turned around. Then Luffy began bringing others to his apartment.

He met Zoro on a Wednesday, after he had finished up at work and got home early that evening. He hadn’t even changed out of his clothes yet when there was a knock on his door. His heart leapt in his chest as he expected it to be Luffy on the other side (but again, he would never admit that his heart did any acrobatics in his chest at all) and he opened it to find, yes, it was Luffy! But also a tall green haired man standing right behind him.

“Heya, Torao! I brought Zoro with me this time! I told him you had a cool sword and he said he wanted to see it,” Luffy was already walking past Law and into the apartment, friend in tow. Law watched as they approached the nodachi displayed on his wall, a cursed sword that his uncle Doflamingo bought for him as a Christmas gift, but he wasn’t superstitious so he kept the sword because it looked like a cool decoration.

“Hey, Torao, what was your sword named again?” Luffy asked suddenly.

Law shut the door and joined them by the nodachi. “Kikoku,” he answered. “It’s supposed to be cursed.”

He would have found the way Luffy looked absolutely thrilled at the prospect of a cursed sword worrisome if it weren’t for the fact that his chest felt incredibly tight and his cheeks felt they were burning at four hundred and fifty one degrees Fahrenheit. But besides that, Zoro looked just as excited as Luffy, in his own way of course.

“A cursed blade, huh? Just like my Sandai Kitetsu,” he patted the hilt of one of his swords for emphasis. “You ever used it before?”

Law suddenly felt a bit suspicious. “Er, no, not really. I’ve only ever used it as a decoration,” he answered unsurely.

Zoro frowned. “Disappointing.”

It was then that Law realized that Zoro might have intended to challenge him to a duel had he been able to use Kikoku. He already didn’t like this. Luffy took control of the conversation from there, talking excitedly about his day and how he saw his friend Jinbei riding an actual whale shark in the ocean. And after sharing a dessert and some tea, Luffy and Zoro left and Law was left alone.

He was afraid that this would become a thing. Not the whole Luffy visiting situation, that was already a thing and a thing that he enjoyed, but he meant Luffy visiting with his other friends. From Zoro alone Law decided that meeting the rest of Luffy’s crew would be a stressful and possibly terrifying experience. He didn’t want it to happen again.

It happened again.

Luffy returned on a Saturday with not just one, but two friends accompanying him and Law had to refrain from groaning. He could refuse to let them in. He should refuse to let them in. But Luffy’s gleeful grin and the excitement that twinkled in his eyes, those things made it difficult for Law to do anything except for step aside and invite them into his apartment.

This time it was Usopp and Chopper who had entered his abode and they were surprisingly pleasant company. Usopp and Luffy shared a bowl of snacks on the floor while they played a game of Go Fish. Law actually managed to befriend Chopper as they exchanged medical advice and patient stories.

“Nami was actually my first patient,” the reindeer doctor had told him. “She had caught a really bad fever so Nojiko and everyone brought her to the nearest clinic. My mentor Doctrine was out when they came so I did my best to help and that’s how we all became friends.”

Law thought that those were strange circumstances to become friends under, but then he remembered how Cora-san had adopted him after Law had stabbed him with the intent to rob him of all his belongings, and the thought was dismissed.

He wasn’t surprised the next day when Luffy decided to show up with a cyborg of all things standing in the hallway.

Law was able to meet a majority of Luffy’s friends in about a week, and he sure had a lot of them. He met a fishman, a mermaid, a skeleton, and other interesting species. It was... a lot to take in, even if he was a wizard who could do things just as bizarre with a wave of his hand.

But he felt that he was barely anything at all when Luffy was far more powerful than he was, both magically and physically. That fact would have hurt his pride if he didn’t find it insanely attractive. And that was something new to him. Admitting that he found Luffy attractive. He had come to terms with his emotions after spending many sleepless nights having arguments with himself over whether or not he was completely infatuated with an idiot wearing a straw hat.

He cried himself to sleep after that realization.

When Luffy showed up on his doorstep on a Saturday, a bouquet of flowers in his hands and a wide grin on his face, Law was confused.

“What’s this for?” he asked, staring at the arrangement of carnations and daisies that had been pushed into his arms.

Luffy gave a short laugh. “Sabo said ‘If you’re gonna take Law to Sanji’s place, you gotta give him a gift first.’ So I asked Robin to make you something nice and she gave me those,” he said as though everything was explained perfectly. “Oh, right. I forgot to say that I was taking you to Sanji’s restaurant tonight! It’s real fancy but I don’t think he’ll care if we show up in regular clothes. I don’t have anything nicer than this anyway.”

Law was so confused.

Was this- Was this a date? Was Luffy taking him out to dinner? On a date? Was this really happening right now?

Before he could ask any one of those questions, Luffy took him by the hand and dragged him out the door. Law managed to shut and lock it as he was taken away and maybe his spotted jeans and black and yellow hoodie were too casual for a fancy restaurant, but he felt that he couldn’t care because this might be a real date with Luffy.

Oh god. This might be a real date with Luffy.

He tried not to think too hard about this entire scenario as he sat beside Luffy on the bus. He tried not to think too hard about their hands still clasped together as Luffy rambled about how delicious Sanji’s food was. He tried not to think in general.

The bus stopped a street away from a big, shiny restaurant that had people lined up outside in the chilly night as they waited for a seat to be open. Luffy ignored the line completely and a tough looking guy dressed in a kitchen apron and had a silver name tag that read “Patty” in bold text escorted them inside. Law had to keep his jaw from dropping because Luffy wasn’t exaggerating when he said this place was fancy.

It was a French-style restaurant. Its tables were all decorated the same, adorned with candles and flowers for the centerpieces. The tablecloths were a pristine white, not a single stain could be seen. The china was the finest porcelain he had ever seen, making his own traditional Japanese tea set look like a children’s play thing. There were three golden chandeliers that surrounded a large modern styled glass chandelier in the center. A spiral staircase sat off to the side that led to upper level and balcony seating. The ceiling had a gorgeous mural of some biblical painting that he didn’t know the name of.

Law had never felt more insecure than he did in that moment.

Patty lead them through the restaurant to a set of double doors in the back. They were brought through the kitchens that was a cacophony of clattering dishes and banging pots. But despite the noise, the food smelled amazing. His stomach growled as they passed and he tried to pass it off as background noise, ignoring the embarrassed flush that spread across his cheeks. There was another door at the back of the kitchens and when it was opened, he saw a corridor that lead to another door.

Just how big was this restaurant, anyway?

Naturally, they walked to the end of the hall and behind the other door was a private room. There was a table set up like all the other ones were. White tablecloth, flowers and candles, blue velvet seats. There were floor to ceiling windows on the other side that looked over the ocean. It smelled like roses.

A part of his brain nagged at him, telling him that this was disgustingly corny. He was about to voice that opinion, too, until he saw Luffy’s face, slightly dimmed by the lack of light but his always present smile was brightening it ten times better than any candle could. He realized that Luffy was smiling at him.

“Do you like it?” Luffy asked him, and it took him a moment to understand that he was talking about the room. Why was his brain functioning so slowly tonight?

“Yeah,” he said and his throat felt dry and he needed something to drink but all he did was sit down and watch as Luffy sat in front of him.

Patty poured them their waters and left the jug on the table before exiting the room. Law lifted his glass and took three large gulps, leaving only a quarter left. He has never felt so nervous before. Luffy was staring at him. Simply staring at him. Except it wasn’t that simple because Law felt extremely vulnerable under that gaze. He didn’t know what to do or say. It was incredible.

“Sanji is making us a special meal,” Luffy told him, breaking the silence finally. “I already told him that you don’t like bread so you don’t have to worry about that.”

Law was going to die.

He was going to die in this five star restaurant with a beautiful view of the ocean, sitting in a private room with this person who he was absolutely head over heels in love with and he was okay with that. But before he could actually pass on to the afterlife, the door opened and a blonde man with a cart of food entered the room.

“Sanji!” Luffy greeted excitedly, grinning at his friend.

The chef returned the smile and put out his cigarette on an empty tray that was sitting on top of his cart. “Alright, shitty customers. I have your first course, the entrée,” he removed the lid of one dish. “Vichyssoise, a thick soup made of boiled and puréed leeks, onions, potatoes, cream, and chicken stock. Please enjoy.” Sanji set two bowls of the soup in front of them before leaving them alone once more.

Luffy immediately lifted the bowl of its plate and tipped its contents into his mouth hungrily. Law had lifted his spoon to his mouth but paused to watch him consume his soup in a messy manner. He blinked a moment before tasting his soup carefully. It was delicious.

Sanji returned a few moments later with wine. “Luffy can’t have this but you can if you want,” he had said but Law refused. He was hesitant about consuming alcohol when he was already drunk on his own emotions. If that even made sense.

Sanji shrugged and left again and by the time Law had finished his soup, he returned with another cart of food. “Voilà votre plat principal,” he said as he introduced them to their next dish and this routine continued all the way to their final course. They had ice cream sundaes for dessert and even though it was simple, with just ice cream with wafers and syrup, it was just as delicious as the rest of the meal had been.

When Law asked how much it all cost, Sanji had insisted that it was on the house. In his surprise, he looked to Luffy who happened to be looking right back at him with that grin on his face and he was falling in love all over again.

They left the restaurant, after thanking Sanji and everyone else for the pleasant evening, and Luffy was walking back to the apartment with him (I mean, of course he was, they were neighbors) and it was a long walk but not unpleasant. Somewhere along the way he had realized he had forgotten to bring his jacket and it was kinda chilly, but he didn’t want to say anything and he didn’t have to because Luffy just looked at him and cast a warming spell and suddenly he felt like he was wrapped in a soft blanket. Law felt like he was blushing and he hoped that it wasn’t obvious, but Luffy didn’t say anything about it as he held his hand again and talked about the stars and how maybe he should be an astronaut.

When they got to his apartment, Law paused by the door, one hand on the knob as he considered what to say. “Thank you,” he muttered, facing away for a moment before turning to look Luffy in the eye. “I had a nice night.”

Luffy grinned and their hands were still connected and Law was about to pull away when suddenly he was being kissed and even though it only lasted a second it sent sparks throughout his body and he could do nothing but stare as Luffy let go of his hand and escaped to his own apartment.

The next morning, Law couldn’t help but wonder if that was all a dream.

He got up like he always did but he was sort of in a daze. He still hadn’t been able to process everything that happened the previous night because Luffy had kissed him. And he was ninety percent sure that they had just went on a date.

He even thought that this was some sort of spell and did some extensive research on the possibility of last night being just a very realistic illusion but he knew in his gut that it had really happened.

Jesus Christ.

All of that really happened.

Law held his head in his hands as he leaned over his mug of coffee, sitting at his dining table in utter distress. This was not good for his heart. He was behaving like a twelve year-old girl with a crush and it was the worst. A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts and wiped at the bags under his eyes before answering. Luffy was standing there and he decided that this boy was going to be the death of him. He was going to die of exploding emotions. Or something like that.

“Torao!” Luffy greeted excitedly.

Law wondered how he could do that. Act so casual like he hadn’t kissed him last night. Then he remembered that Luffy doesn’t even know the word “shame.” He stepped aside to let him in and Luffy immediately jumped onto his sofa. He joined him silently.

They had to talk. Law needed to sort out his feelings and the only way he could do that was talk about them to Luffy of all people.

“Last night,” he began quietly as Luffy was surfing through his channels on the television. “When you, er, kissed me.”

“Oh, that? Sabo told me it’s what I’m supposed to do after walking you home. He said it’s “the nice thing to do,” Luffy commented as he stopped his browsing and settled for an old western playing on some obscure channel.

Oh.

“And the dinner?”

“An excuse to get you to meet Sanji and taste his food. He’s a real good cook, right?” he grinned at him.

Oh.

That made... sense. He supposed.

Law didn’t say anything for a long while. Luffy was expecting an answer from him and he gave a mumbled “yeah.” The boy returned his attention to the television then and he was left to his thoughts. Of course it was all just in his head. He couldn’t believe he thought that Luffy actually felt that way about him. Ah, he wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“I have to get ready for work,” it was a lie. “I’m working overtime.” It was Sunday and it was his day off.

“Oh, okay,” Luffy said, surprised. “Guess I’ll just come back later. Have fun being an adult!”

And then he was gone.

And Law was alone.

Instead of trying to move on from his supposed unrequited feelings, he locked himself in his apartment, ignoring his door for the rest of the day and ate away his emotions. The next day he’s going to see that he’s gained half a pound and he’ll regret it then, but right now he’s going to eat everything in his refrigerator and watch Mamma Mia! until he passes out with a bucket of ice cream in his arms and a spoon in his mouth.

Law definitely wasn’t avoiding Luffy.

Waking up at an ungodly hour to get ready for work and leaving before anyone else should be awake is not avoiding. Staying late at the hospital until it’s practically midnight and then going home is most definitely not avoiding.

And it wasn’t like he was losing sleep over this, he slept plenty in his office during his breaks and he slept for four hours at home and he was a doctor, he knew that four hours was the absolute minimum to having a healthy rest.

He also ignored Luffy’s text messages.

Not that he would call it ignoring.

More like setting aside for later. If later meant never.

But everything was fine. He spent less time at home and worked more. He wasn’t stressed at all. He was eating protein bars for breakfast and bland hospital food for lunch so his diet was set. Dinner didn’t even happen. He was fine. Everything was fine. He’s got everything worked out and it’ll all blow over like the toupee on Donald Trump’s head.

So it didn’t “blow over” like he hoped it would.

The weekend came and he really couldn’t handle any more overtime so he stayed home. And of course there was a knock on his door. He wanted to ignore it. He was going to ignore it and hope that whoever was at the door would go away.

“Hey, Torao, it’s me.”

Damn. Why did the universe seem to hate him?

“Uh, I get that you’ve been busy and stuff, but you haven’t been answering my texts and stuff and it’s got me kinda worried. If you’re in trouble I can help you out, y’know. ‘Cause we’re friends and all.”

Law still didn’t answer. He remained seated on his sofa, wrapped in a warm blanket. Luffy didn’t say anything for awhile after that and for a moment he thought he left. But then he started talking again.

“If you don’t wanna talk to me, that’s okay. I’ll just talk to you. You don’t have to listen if you don’t wanna, but I’m gonna do it anyway.” And he did. Luffy was outside his door for hours, talking about what he did all week, describing a new dish Sanji made, telling him about some mini-venture he went on with his friends.

“The other day, I was talking to Sabo about you,” Law perked up at that. “I told him that I really liked hanging out with you and stuff and that you’re probably my most favorite person in the entire world, besides Ace and Sabo, of course. I told him that some day, Torao and I are gonna get married because that’s what you do when you want to be with someone forever, right? And I wanna be with you forever, Torao because you’re my bestest friend and I’m never gonna let you go.”

Law opened the door suddenly and Luffy was standing there, a surprised expression on his face.

“That was really corny,” Law said, frowning. “And bestest is a stupid word. And you can’t just decide to marry me out of the blue there has to be some sort of build-up.”

But Luffy just blinked at him and there was a plate of half eaten steak in his hands that he just noticed and suddenly Luffy was grinning like an idiot.

“I saved some of Sanji’s dish for you but I got hungry so I ate some.”

Law couldn’t believe that he was so in love that he let Luffy into his apartment to share half a lukewarm steak.

#one piece #op #lawlu #lulaw #fanfiction #lawlu big bang #lawlubb 2018-2019

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homebrewpodcast · 5 years

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Transcript: Home Brew 08: Skeleton Party

Thank you for your patience! Please explore this transcript of our latest episode at your leisure and look forward to more transcripts to be posted here and on the homebrewpodcast.podbean.com page!

Order of events:

☕ Hero Cultus!

☕ Main topic: Shadow Work & A Skeleton Party Near You

☕ Mythic feature: El Sombreron (A Guatemalan Tale)

☕ Devotional thought with Danny

DANNY: Hi, and welcome to Home Brew podcast. I'm Danny…

JOHNA: And I’m Johna, two pagan friends exploring spirituality in the Modern Age.

DANNY: We’re queer…

JOHNA: And definitely not so white.

DANNY: So please be aware that we are grown-ups, who may discuss sensitive topics as they relate to our own experiences.

JOHNA: That being said, we welcome and incorporate the experiences of our listeners. You can contribute by messaging homebrewpodcast.tumblr.com—

DANNY: Or by tagging @homebrewpagans on Twitter. And so, let’s get into the episode!

[transition music]

DANNY: This episode we're going to have a new segment that we're gonna introduce in lieu of Make Talk Good, definitely not because we forgot to do—

JOHNA: —we didn't forget, we remembered very good.

DANNY: It's fine. But as we have no Make Talk Good to show you today, we also wanted to introduce the segment anyway called Hero Cultist and we're going to talk more about that in just a second.

JOHNA: And after Hero Cultist we’re going to get into our main topic, shadow work.

DANNY: Whoo!

JOHNA: The Ultimate skeleton party.

DANNY: Yeah, and then after that we're going to wrap our myth and our devotional thought kind of together as one, and you'll see what I mean when we get there.

JOHNA: Dude.

BOTH: [laugh]

JOHNA: I'm so excited about this segment because I know we've been wanting to do some other stuff, but here it is. We are introducing hero cultist. We just want to take a few minutes to recognize the figures that may not be gods but have nevertheless made a huge impact on our culture or our development as people. I know—well, Danny, you haven't read American Gods, but maybe our reader has read American Gods by Neil Gaiman.

DANNY: I've read American Gods.

JOHNA: Oh, wait you did?

DANNY: Yeah! I haven't seen the TV show, though.

JOHNA: Oh, I haven't seen that either, but I only care about the book

BOTH: [laughs]

JOHNA: Um. There's a character that remarks something like “heroes are the same as gods, except they're allowed to fail.” This stuck with me for a long time, so I want to find ways to respect the influence that some figures had in my real actual life practice. So, for Hero Cultist I have a shout-out to the spirit of Leonard Nimoy. Thank you, dude. Thank you for bringing your legacy of questioning to daytime television. I reblog “The Hobbit Song” in your honor.

DANNY: [chuckle] And I shout out to the spirit of Terry Pratchett. Thank you for bringing your legacy of righteous anger to comical literature. I will have a nice cigar in your honor, once I’m allowed to do so post-surgery, which is happening tomorrow. Or early—early today, it’s very very very late. It’s later than usual here, my listeners.

JOHNA: He would appreciate that cigar, dude.

DANNY: Though like having a cigar right before surgery is like such a Sam Vimes thing to do I kind of want to do it. I’m definitely not going to because I'd get uh beaten up by my spouse.

JOHNA: Yay!

DANNY: Proverbially. With love.

JOHNA: Yeah. Don’t do that.

DANNY: [laughs]

JOHNA: Leonard Nimoy, Terry Pratchett. We honor you.

DANNY: Yes.

JOHNA: Moving along.

DANNY: [laughs]

JOHNA: Shadowwork. Have you heard of it?

DANNY: I have heard of shadowwork.

JOHNA: As a cool fun Pagan pastime, perhaps?

DANNY: Yeah.

JOHNA: Oh my god, it pains me sometimes. Thinking about how shadowwork is used, at least in internet pagan land, as sort of a system of, like, dark and edgy personality tests can be bothersome. I mean, I know that like what we put online is not the sum of our practice. Basically, we're just trying to like share the fun bits, share what might generate interest, but new people who are just getting interested only have those superficial attention-grabbing tidbits.

So I’m going to give you a super quick rundown of Jungian psychology. That's Jung, J-U-N-G. So Carl Jung was one of Freud's proteges. When Freud realized that he couldn't be famous and successful and get money from benefactors by calling out family rapists for messing up perfectly good children, he sold out and he wrote all about how kids just latently desire their parents in a sexual way, so it’s actually all okay.

DANNY: Nasty.

JOHNA: Yeah. Ugh. Kay. Jung, who did study under Freud, managed to sidestep some of that and wrote all about how maybe it's horrific parents, maybe it's not, but maybe it might could be, but anyway he knows that for sure that it happens at kids, it happens to them.

My thoughts about Jung and Freud aside, the theory is very useful. In Jungian Theory, the shadow is considered the whole of the hidden and/or undesirable aspects of the personality. The shadow is sort of a potpourri of the id and the subconscious and the emotional all thrown together. It's instinctive and irrational and it tends to project our weaknesses onto others in the form of moral judgments, of jealousy or anger.

People tend to ignore or distract from their shadow personality aspects, but Jungian shadowwork tries to expose and embrace those aspects. So the work is meant to liberate your mind so that you can make deliberate choices that improve your mental health. Many times in therapy you'll find techniques that ask you to confront your shadow, like introspective journaling or guided meditations. But because this work requires a lot of emotional heavy lifting, many people find it useful to use a spiritual lens and approach it with techniques like divination and prayer and spirit journeying.

DANNY: So something to keep in mind as you approach the concept of shadowwork is that there are a billion different ways that shadowwork can be, and we’ll kind of get into those anecdotally in a second, but even deciding what type of shadowwork in the realm of secular versus spiritual is actually something that you're going to be faced with eventually.

For example, shadowwork in the realm of just therapy specifically for work that pertains to mindfulness is really really difficult for me. Mindfulness, just kind of a brief, like, definition, I suppose, is a technique that therapists use a lot, especially lately. It's a really effective, like, meditation technique on the fly that helps train your brain to focus on what is happening to you and about you and within you at the exact moment in time that you are present in. So it teaches you to not dwell on the past or worry about the future, but to be completely in the present.

It is a great tool and it does not work for me. So when I did have to do, when I decided to do shadowwork to benefit some of my, some of struggles that I was going through, it helped me to do that work through the lens of spirituality. And there's really no reason why or why not, it just be like that sometimes.

So when you approach the techniques of shadowwork, know that it might not work out the first time around, and it might be because you are approaching shadowwork in an entirely different realm to what is actually compatible with you. So if you want to do this thing but, say, spirit journeying and journals and tarot aren't working for you—I think everybody should go to therapy anyways just, just as a rule—but try maybe therapy or some kind of mindfulness or cognitive behavioral therapy, something that’s more secular. This can be interchangeable. It can be a little of column A, little of column B. But expect to also have that be some but you have to figure out as well, which I didn't really know what the time.

JOHNA: That's an excellent point. It all just depends on your goal.

DANNY: Yeah.

JOHNA: It depends on you, what works for you and your goal. I remember my first attempts at shadowwork were, I mean I remember them being very very aesthetic. I mean, I approached it from primarily a religious perspective, you know. I wanted to be close to my gods, I wanted to improve my energy work. So I would be like, like meditating after midnight, and only by the light of my Michaels-brand black pillar candles. But allowing, like, the perfumes of totally good and legit incense to allow me to journey into my deeper self.

So, like, I was experimenting a lot. I was trying a bunch of things all at once to see what worked and generally exploring. I didn't know what kinds of skeletons were in my closet. One time I did visualize a house, and I found a literal skeleton in the closet. And I didn't know what to do about it, not at the time. I didn’t know what it was or what I should do, so. That was just when I was first trying it.

Shadowwork’s not something that you do intensely always all the time, at least most people don't. But, you know, you come back to it when you're done or when you've figured out something else that you want to do. So my more recent attempts at shadowwork are obviously, you know, less theatrical and a lot more focused. And while I do pray, I also use techniques that are mostly secular. I might be more aware of the skeleton parties that are happening in the closets

DANNY: [chuckle]

JOHNA: But I'm less afraid of them now. You know, after all that get-to-know-you stuff. So they're more likely to talk and move and make conversation, and sometimes it can be scary and angry, but now I know what to do with them. And the shadowwork helps me decide who I want to invite to my skeleton party.

When you first start out, it’s actually really really fun to get to know yourself, especially because it's sort of like indulging in your vanity. You can talk about yourself all you want, because it feels purposeful now. But everything stays the same if you don't have a goal. I mean, when I first started, I had no goals except getting to know myself. But my new goals are things like, I want less anxiety about medical visits. So, I need to address those shadows. Or I want to spend less energy being annoyed at my co-workers, so maybe I want to look at those shadows. These things are in the shadows for a reason. I mean it takes a lot of energy to move them out to where you can see them, so unless you're going to do something that's where they’re always going to go back to. That's where they stay.

DANNY: Absolutely. And you know we talked about your first attempts at shadowwork. I was really lucky in my like first foray into shadowwork, because I was actually introduced to shadowwork and the concepts of by Johna.

JOHNA: Ooooh.

DANNY: Oooh! So that's like the pattern of, like, half of these anecdotes is like, Johna showed me, and it was neat. [laughs] But it's true. And it’s something that I really needed at the time, because I was going through a really rough patch in my life with regards to having toxic relationships, being kind of a toxic person. I had a lot of old coping mechanisms from earlier points of life that were now periods of trauma for me that I didn't need these coping mechanisms anymore because I wasn't in those places. So I had to learn, like, my goal for shadowwork is to kind of unlearn some bad habits and to reacquaint my brain with the fact that things are a lot safer than they used to be, for example.

So, part of that was figuring out, like I said, what works for me. I've been going to therapy for forever, but my shadowwork I sort of wanted it to be a separate venture and something that was a little more spiritual. And so, what ended up happening is that we had a group of myself, Johna, and another friend. That was like our shadowwork group. And we checked in with each other. Um, I know that our other friend did journaling for a while and would check in with, like, “I did journaling, this is what I learned today.” Daily tarot or, as daily I could possibly be, was really helpful for me. Boy did I get Temperance a lot.

And you know, I was still quite young in terms of practicing. I was like really new to tarot; I was really new to a lot of things. So having a group that helped me kind of like internalize what I needed to internalize and to like, positively reinforce this was really helpful. But, like we said, I had a good time taking, like, my spiritual personality tests, but also I learned how, like, you learn a lot of hard stuff about yourself.

I learned some methods about centering myself emotionally because I took the shadows of, like, my toxicity. regardless of how it happened to me and how I became that person, and I had to like stare that in the face. I confronted a lot of personal foibles. I confronted the fact that I have like a lot of moral absolutism, and that maybe that that doesn't really exist in the real world.

I learned better ways to communicate with a lot of people. I learned better ways to communicate with my ancestors, because I relied on them a lot during this time to kind of reflect upon the person that I was. I learned how to communicate better with myself in different stages. I had internalized so much, like, unhealthy coping mechanisms as a teenager that part of these meditations where I would you know enter my own mental house, this house was something I had made as a teenager to cope with like stuff. So I would approach this house and find really honestly my teenage self as part of my skeleton party.

JOHNA: Mmmmm!

DANNY: She was still there, that poor bitch!

JOHNA: Oh my god.

BOTH: [laugh]

DANNY: And so like, confronting that person and learning to cut that kid some slack was really difficult, actually. And it was like the culmination of all of the fun stuff. All the tarot and the journaling and the like, you know, stickers and memes that we shared with each other on Facebook Messenger, um, kind of culminated in this really slow process of learning like, okay, I am allowed to be angry, but I am not allowed to be mean.

JOHNA: Mm-hmm.

DANNY: And like, I am allowed to let go of, like, this, like, piece of trauma. I can tell, like, I don't have to be mad at teenage me anymore. That kid was just a teenager, you know? So that's like the highlight here and the reason why that, like, we kind of dwell on these anecdotes is to illustrate that there are, like, actually a lot of different ways to approach shadowwork.

But go--the underlying truth of it is that you have to be attuned to your own emotional needs, your emotional faults, your foibles. You don't have to, like, have a perfect knowledge of self. That's what you're doing shadowwork for. But you have to be prepared to have your self-perception change, and sometimes that perception is not super flattering. That's why you do what you do. You approach it with the understanding that you're going to be seeing some stuff. That’s why it’s called shadowwork.

BOTH: [laughs]

DANNY: Ugh I personally believe that if you can't confront yourself authentically and honestly, then it is not going to be a super successful venture for you. And it's just kind of a waste of your time. Uh, that's my onion.

JOHNA: Yeah, yes. You know what, the superficial stuff? Like, the personality test feeling stuff, that’s a lot of fun.

DANNY: Yeah, for sure.

JOHNA: But you're absolutely right. It is work. It’s called work for a reason. But it’s so worth it.

DANNY: Yes.

JOHNA: If it's what you choose to do.

DANNY: Yes, I learned a lot.

JOHNA: For sure.

DANNY: And definitely became a less shitty person.

BOTH: [laugh]

JOHNA: If you'd like to dip your toes in a little bit, I did prepare a suggested meditation, just so that you can figure out what skeletons you have, like, who's hanging out in there, and you have a place to start if you're just getting back into it or if you're exploring shadowwork for the first time. We are using a tarot number in this one, that you can use tarot to do a reading on it later. It helps. Helps to review.

DANNY: Yes.

JOHNA: So, first about the meditation. You're going to create your house. Just want to visualize it. I mean, you can do that by drawing a picture, you can build it in Sims or Minecraft, but only the outside, cause that's all we need for right now. So once you have that visual, sit down someplace, get comfy, focus on your breathing and imagine. See the house in your mind's eye.

When you start, you are 21 steps from between where you stand and the front door. So with each slow, controlled breath you take, you take another step closer. So starting at 21, smoothing patiently down to 1, till you get to the front door. Then, go into your house.

Easy, right? You go inside. It's your house! Look at your awesome stuff. But you hear music coming somewhere, and you know what? It's the closet. That's right, that’s right it was the skeleton party. You knew about that. So go knock on the door. Let them know you're coming in to check on them. I mean, they may be made of bones, but they’re still a part of you. And they’re a part of this kick-ass house. It’s an awesome house, ‘cause it's yours.

So then you open the closet and see who you meet. And if they want to come to where you are, or if you want to come to where they are, shake hands, say hello, learn new skeletons’ names.

Then whenever you're ready, you can leave the way you came. From closing the door, step 1 all the way to 21, back to where you stood before. And you can exit your meditation from here.

There's a lot of ways to leave a meditation like that, and if you plan on visiting that house again, maybe you promised the skeletons you were going to come back, I might recommend that you lock up your house before you leave, so you don't like accidentally have any cretins waitin’ for you on your next visit. Another thing is that you might also pray and ask your gods or ancestors to come and visit, so maybe you can give them a key to your house. It's your house, you can do whatever you want.

So Danny and I actually did this meditation before we recorded this podcast. We didn't like do it together, but we did make sure to do the meditation. So personally, because I've been doing this for a while, I didn't actually exit the house, because at this point it's my house.

DANNY: [laughs]

JOHNA: So I kind of just like sent myself to bed and counted 21 breaths until I woke up here in the real world. But it's my house. I live there, so I don't leave. But you can do whatever you want. The point is, you did your meditation, and maybe you have some skeleton names that you want to think about.

So here’s part dos, and it’s a suggested tarot reading. So you can use tarot cards if you have them, oracle cards, whatever. You can use a free online deck. Just go to Google and ask what a free online tarot deck is. You can use it. You can use a tarot app. You can do whatever you want. The goal is to just decide if you're going to do anything about who you met in your house and how you might do it.

So you start with a small number of cards. We recommend starting with just one so that you can focus on one thing to figure out.

So Danny, you want to demonstrate this part with me? We both have cards.

DANNY: Yeah, let's do it! I've got my cards.

JOHNA: Yes, okay.

DANNY: Let’s talk about my cards, I want to talk about my cards first.

JOHNA: Yeah, well you shuffle, shuffle good.

DANNY: Yes, I'm shuffling. They're called the Darkana Tarot, and I got them because they are—I think that they…quote “combine a modern grunge style with a non-traditional tarot symbolism.” But the frank way to say it is that the art is kind of muddy and ugly. [laugh]

JOHNA: Ooh!

DANNY: But I like it, I like that it’s—they're like kind of like, uh…stained and ugly deck. It seems like a good…it’s a good, um, set for me. And so I wanted to plug them a little bit, because I like them.

JOHNA: Wow. My deck is the opposite.

DANNY: [laughs]

JOHNA: It is super pretty, gorgeous, dreamy watercolors by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law. It's called the Shadowscapes tarot. It’s like, probably one of the like most popular decks on the market because it really is beautiful, but I remember waiting and waiting and waiting for Ms. Law to like finish the paintings for this deck—

DANNY: Oh my gosh.

JOHNA: —because she was updating as she went. I was like, I was one of the original fans of this tarot deck, dude, I was so excited. I pre-ordered as soon as it was available to get the shadowscapes tarot deck and I was not disappointed. So, that’s how I like it. Anyway.

DANNY: That’s awesome.

JOHNA: So usually, I don’t know. Not everybody has practiced a lot with tarot cards, oracle cards. You traditionally like shuffle the deck like a spiritually significant number of times. Seven is, of course, a common lucky number. I use five when I'm doing shadowwork, because it's traditionally a number for like change, even chaos, and change is usually my goal for shadowwork even if it means some chaos. Some people like nine because it's a number of completion. They want the bigger picture.

DANNY: I like nine.

JOHNA: Oh, that's cool.

DANNY: I don't usually, um, have a number when I shuffle though. I just shuffle. Till it's time to stop, I guess.

JOHNA: Oh man. I actually had to replace this deck. These cards are, like, still stiff and I'm like a little bit sad, because this is obviously a later printing and they are like not as good quality as—

DANNY: Oh no.

JOHNA: —the original printing, I know. This coating on the deck is like, plastic. I, and I'm spoiled when it comes to playing cards, because I like a nice waxed card. [sigh] But that's not a—that's neither here nor there. Let’s go. We draw the cards.

DANNY: We draw. [whip sound] Oh cool!

JOHNA: What does yours say?

DANNY: I got the nine of cups.

JOHNA: [gasp]

DANNY: Yeah, I’m like, oh hey! Um, and I guess for edification, because I don't mind if the internet knows my innermost thoughts, the--

BOTH: [laugh]

DANNY: Um, the thing I'm trying to tackle is my like stress around moving and relocation, just cause there's some stuff there. So that's what I kind of asked the cards about. That was the, the…the big chief skeleton in my skeleton closet party.

Um, and my deck, this deck is also nice because it has two, like, keywords underneath the picture. So under the nine of cups, keywords is fulfillment and pleasure. So like, a really super quick and dirty, like, analysis of the nine of cups is this is like, the cup overfloweth card. They—you are, uh, um, at a place of extreme contentment and satisfaction. Things are falling into place, and you will, like, receive a period of good fulfillment, usually emotionally. Cups are a, an emo--, a feelings card. And especially in this, um, picture, the cups have water flowing out of them. Water is like a feelings thing. So that’s a pretty optimistic one card reading.

If I wanted to, like, I guess for our listeners, if I wanted to ask a question from there, you can take this one card reading and expand upon it. Ask your cards some other stuff. You can also use rocks if you like. But we aren't going to do rocks today because I don't want to go get them. [laugh]

JOHNA: Oh, well you know what, I am glad you brought that up, because I definitely expanded mine. When I did this meditation, I met two skeletons. One of them I am not familiar with, and the other one is, uh, sort of a development because of some other work that I did. So I like went in the closet and, you know, wanted to see who was hanging out in there and the first skeleton to introduce itself to me was dementia.

DANNY: Oh.

JOHNA: Yeah. You know what, I didn't think that I had any, uh, had any stuff about that, but my dad actually had dementia, and maybe I should like, think a little bit about that because I might have like some unconscious anxiety making me act a little foolish sometimes. When it comes to like medical stuff, and maybe taking care of myself. So that's like, you know, that's good.

And the other skeleton I met, this was interesting. Usually I approach like the skeleton of “things I resent my mom for,” “the things I resent my dad for” separately, because I felt like, I always felt like they were two separate things. But this skeleton introduced itself as, “I am the failings of your parents.” And that was different from how I've approached it before because this skeleton was like, very kind and not shy at all and like very very gentle. And I have yet to approach that kind of demon in that way.

So, when I drew my one card I got the ace of cups, which is cool. It can be...I am reading this right now as like, a card of beginnings, particularly emotionally. That means that it's like meeting the tip of the iceberg, and I’ve got some exploration to do, but generally it's a good omen. But I wanted some clarification for that, so I drew two other cards. And one was the queen of cups, which I take to mean as, I'm going to have to be accountable and responsible for myself, but also that means I get to call the shots. Good deal.

DANNY: Nice.

JOHNA: And then the other one was the High Priestess, which comes to me off and on. One of those cards that follows me. So, in this case, I’m going to take this as like, sort of a current in the wheel of fate, you know what I mean?

DANNY: Mm-hmm.

JOHNA: Like, whatever is coming is coming, and all I can do is just what I judge to be best in that situation. So, cool. All right. That's how you do it. That's how you start. What I definitely got was a place to start.

DANNY: Nice. [chuckle]

[pause]

JOHNA: Come on, where's our tagline dude?

DANNY: Oh.

JOHNA: You got to say it.

DANNY: Fuck. Do you want to hear a story?

JOHNA: I do!

DANNY: Hell yeah. [laugh] So, brief disclaimer on this story. I don't speak Spanish. My accent’s very bad, and I sometimes don't know how to pronounce words. I beg forgiveness. But. [laughs] This myth is a Guatemalan myth and it is the story of “El Sombreron.” It’s found on uexpress.com, the version that I'm using, because I thought it was funny. Uexpress.com has a tell me a story section, which is where I found this, and this is retold by Amy Friedman and Meredith Johnson.

Once upon a time in a Mayan village, twins were born to a hatmaker and his wife. The couple were overjoyed the day their sons were born, but their joy did not last long.

JOHNA: Uh-oh.

DANNY: One of the boys was kind, soft-voiced and even-tempered. But the other lad was born with the devil in him.

JOHNA: [gasp]

DANNY: He was always doing just what his parents told him not to do, and as he grew older, he continued to do whatever he was not supposed to do.

He wasn’t cruel, but he was mischievous. He hid his brother's toys; he stole fruit from the neighbors' gardens. He teased children, he spilled his milk, and laughed when he should have been quiet, and would not speak when teachers asked him questions.

I, as a side-note, have taught many of these children. I have loved all of them.

But he never stopped running and jumping and playing, and his parents fretted and worried and wondered what to do.

At last the boy's mother begged her husband to call upon the brujo for advice. Among the Mayan people, the brujos, wise men, were known to have the power and the magic to cure every imaginable ill.

I imagine in this case, I kind of, another author’s note, that “brujo” is being used in the same way that “curendero” would be used, um, instead of like the broader meaning of like “brujo” just meaning “witch” or “wizard,” I guess.

JOHNA: Mm-hmm.

DANNY: So, these brujos could cure bodies, minds and spirits, so the people said. They knew exactly what to do to fix every problem that arose.

So the hatmaker went to visit the brujo and begged him for help. "My son is a troublemaker," the man said. "Please, tell me how to calm him down and cure him of his mischief making."

The brujo sat and thought, for wise men always listen carefully and think long and hard. And they pray. Finally, the brujo spoke. "I know how to help you," he said. "You must return to your shop, and there you will make a huge sombrero, the biggest sombrero you have ever made. Bring it to me, and I will solve your problem."

The man returned home and worked for several days, fashioning a sombrero so large, it could have fit upon the heads of several of the villagers together. When he was done, the sombrero was so big he couldn’t carry it, and so, with the help of his good son and the neighbors, he carried it to his cart and rode it to the brujo's home.

"Now," said the brujo, "I will put my magic inside." He lit his candles and placed rose petals upon his altar, and closed his eyes and prayed. He began to weave. He was weaving magic into the sombrero, but no one was allowed to watch. People say this took him many hours; the sombrero was big, remember, and the magic was strong. But by sunset he had completed his task.

"Take this home now," said the brujo, "and place it in the middle of the floor of your house. Your son and the magic will take matters from there."

The man did as he was told.

In the middle of the night, the father awoke, startled, when he heard a large crash from the living room where the sombrero sat.

He ran to see what had happened, and there he found the sombrero moving, walking around as if powered by its own spirits.

"Help!" the man heard, and he bent down and listened. "Help me, father," came a voice from beneath the sombrero.

JOHNA: [gasp] Oh my gosh!

DANNY: The man tugged at the hat, and sure enough, there was his son, the head in the center of the sombrero, and his legs thrashing about.

"Take this off my head!" the boy cried. "I climbed under to see what I might see, and now I can't take this thing off!"

JOHNA: Mm-hmm!

DANNY: The father tried to lift the hat, but he could not remove it. It was stuck to the boy's head, and no matter how he struggled and pulled, and no matter how the boy pushed and shoved, and no matter how the neighbors pulled and yanked at the sombrero, it remained stuck to the boy's head.

JOHNA: Wow.

DANNY: The hat never did come off.

JOHNA: Oh!

DANNY: The boy had to wear it all the time, and the villagers began to call him "El Sombreron," the Big Hat.

JOHNA: Oh my god.

DANNY: They laughed when they saw him running through the village, only his legs visible, that enormous sombrero atop those little legs.

JOHNA: Oh my god.

DANNY: "El Sombreron" never grew taller that day.

JOHNA: [gasp]

DANNY: The hat was so big and heavy, it pushed him down, and he stayed short, like a little boy, even though he grew longer in years.

They villagers laughed at him only for a while, though. The trouble was, there was magic in that hat, and "El Sombreron" learned it all--

JOHNA: Mmmm.

DANNY: --and so he never did stop making mischief. He could make himself invisible; he could climb up walls and across ceilings--

JOHNA: Mm!

DANNY: --and he could walk through walls, so sometimes, when he was invisible, he would tear through the streets, stealing fruit and tipping carts. And some nights, still invisible, he would sneak into the neighbors' stables and steal their donkeys.

JOHNA: Wow.

DANNY: For a while people prayed "El Sombreron" would vanish altogether, but he never did. And it seems he never vanished at all, for all over Guatemala people still talk about him. It is he, they say, who turns things inside out and upside down, and is the cause of all the little annoyances in life that no one can quite explain. That's the way things are sometimes.

The end.

JOHNA: Oh my God. That's awesome.

DANNY: Isn't that the funniest way to end a fable ever? It be like that sometimes.

BOTH: [laugh]

JOHNA: Wow.

DANNY: Oh god. I’d never heard of this little creature before, though, so I was delighted to find him. But as you might recall, everybody, the—the devotional thought this episode is going to kind of relate to the myth. And I did that for a couple of reasons, but primarily because the ending of this myth is what I would one day like to actually internalize.

After all of this effort and magic and like making a big hat the nuisances that this Village encountered never really went away, it just got more ridiculous. And the ending of—

BOTH: [laughs]

DANNY: And the ending of this version of this tale ends with, “that’s the way things are sometimes.” And I, I would like us all kind of while we consider the topic of shadow work and while we enter the winter time where sometimes things are hard, to really internalize that concept. Especially in the case of “El Sombreron,” when things are kind of turning all kinds of different ways, and there's all kinds of annoyances, to really remember that truly sometimes that's just the way things are. But it also means that it isn't going to be like that all the time. Things will be different.

It be like that sometimes. Don't sweat it man.

BOTH: [laugh]

JOHNA: So, our question for you this week is…are you doing shadow work? Did you try the exercise? Did you try a different one? Tell us about it.

DANNY: Did you find a technique that works better for you than even the ones we suggested?

JOHNA: Than even those?

DANNY: [laugh] Let us know!

JOHNA: For sure. Thanks so much for joining us this week you guys. Look for new episodes every other Friday.

DANNY: A big thank you to Vexento for the use of our theme song, “We Are One,” and to The Miracle Forest for the background music, “The Magical Tearoom.

JOHNA: Again, you can send your comments and experiences to us on Tumblr and Twitter with #homebrewpagans.

DANNY: We are at homebrewpodcast.tumblr.com and @homebrewpagans on Twitter. We’ll talk to you real soon.

#homebrewpodcast #homebrewpagans #podcast transcript #queer pagan #pagans of color #transcript

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neighbours-kid · 5 years

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A Very Whovian February

Here we go again, another month over already. To nobody’s surprise whatsoever, I have continued watching way too many movies and tv show episodes in February as well. There weren’t as much as in January because university started again, but there were some. It totals in at 3 movies, 1 musical, and 116 episodes of tv. I was a bit heavy on the shows this month, less so on the movies, as you can see.

February is always a….peculiar month, if you will. It’s short, it’s half holiday and half university, it’s sort of winter but not anymore, and just really weird. What was particularly strange about this month however, was that even though I sort of committed myself to binging through Money Heist once more—and managed three episodes—I quickly went back on that decision and made another, rather bigger commitment: I decided to re-watch and finally catch up on Doctor Who. No one was more surprised at this decision than me, I believe.

I used to love this show, I used to talk about little else. Doctor Who dominated big parts of my interests for a few years. Through a combination of my brother watching the show and me discovering tumblr, I started watching it in 2012. That was right at the end of ninth grade and the beginning of grammar school. I was 16. I was awful. I talked about it constantly, and especially after I “converted” a friend and she ended up watching it too, it was a constant stream of talking about Doctor Who, always, all the time, everywhere. Which I now understand is annoying as hell. However, back then? People being annoyed with it and sort of shaming me for it? That—and the show losing what made me love it mostly through Moffat taking over—made me stop watching it. At some point I just—stopped. I didn’t talk about it, didn’t think about it much anymore, unfollowed a lot of blogs on tumblr who posted about it, and turned my interests elsewhere. I abandoned it.

For a while there it was also just a thing that I didn’t wanna touch. I watched it in a part of my life where I was awful and toxic and just not a really fun human being to be around, I think. At least I don’t look back at this time all too fondly. It was just part of a person who I wasn’t anymore, who I grew out of, grew up from, and largely also moved on from. It was a strange time. But it was always sort of at the back of my mind as something that I loved, something that brought me great joy and parts of which I really missed deep down. Once I got a Netflix account and it kept appearing in my suggestions, my resolve to not go back to it started to crumble and I ultimately decided that I could learn to love this show again and maybe be better about it this time around. And I also just really wanted to give Peter and Jodie a chance, because no matter how good or bad the stories are, taking on a role like the Doctor is a feat, and I want to give them the opportunity to impress me and make me like them.

Watching that very first episode of Chris Eccleston’s arc at the beginning of this month felt very similar to when I completely re-read all of Naruto last Spring. It felt like coming home, like re-discovering a long lost love. And I am loving it. I am enjoying this tremendously. The monsters are ridiculous, the CGI is hilariously bad, the masks and make-up are insanely cool, the stories are simple and honest and lovely and I just adore it so much. Russel T. Davis was such a wonderful show runner, his vision for the show was so….lovely and simple and human. There were so many brilliant moments in the first four seasons, the companions were fascinating and conflicting and challenging and the Doctor was fantastic and brilliant. And even now that I have already binged through most of Matt’s arc as well, I still appreciate this show. The first time around, I think, I wasn’t too fond of Matt as the Doctor because I really loved David and his take on it, but this time, I am really enjoying Matt’s way of navigating that sort of dichotomy of darkness and ridiculousness that the Doctor has. Matt is fun. David is still my absolute favourite, but I am enjoying Matt tremendously as well. The CGI might have gotten better, the stories bigger and bolder, and, what I felt the first time around, maybe lost a bit of it’s simple and human aspects, but it is still a show that makes you keep thinking, what if?

If you know me you know that I often say the words “ugh I hate people”. I hold the opinion on most days that we, humans, are the worst and we’re being for the most part terrible to ourselves, our environment, and that Earth would be better off if we all just died. However, on odd days in between, I am also like insanely fascinated by humans and by what we can do and who we are and all that. Watching nearly seven seasons of Doctor Who in one month and seeing the world and humans through the Doctor’s eyes, raised those odd days in between to a level able to compete with my humans-suck days. It’s basically 50/50 now, to be honest. If you boil my entire life down to a single conflict it’s that of HUMANS SUCK WE’RE THE WORST and HUMANS MY DUDE HUMANS WE HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL. Basically. Combine this binge-watch with the Opportunity Rover dying and you have me sobbing in a corner filled with hope for humanity and the need to change the world, because we could.

Oh.

Well.

Look at that. This is supposed to be a recap slash diary entry about this month and I have already spent all this time talking about Doctor Who. Can you imagine how annoying I was when I watched it the first time? Yeeeaaaah.

Anyway.

Watching Doctor Who was not actually the only thing I did in this month. I did a lot of procrastinating on a paper about witchcraft in Dutch art which I then finally finished the day before I had to hand it in, started university back up again in the middle of it, helped some friends on their moving day, hung out with other friends, went to a birthday, and, y’know, did things human beings do.

But—and I’m going back to Doctor Who again, sort of, I am so sorry—I also read a book. And not just some book. It was Good Omens by the two amazing gentlemen Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. Watching four seasons of David Tennant being amazing on Doctor Who also made me re-discover my adoration for him. Not that I didn’t already know that, I mean I did just watch him in Broadchurch. He is just great and I love watching him in things. And then he started a podcast (David Tennant Does A Podcast With…, it’s amazing, you should all listen to it) and he’s on radio shows promoting it and he is just ever present. And there was press and information and stuff going around for the tv adaption of Good Omens in which David plays Crowley, so he was just constantly on my mind. So I said to myself, hell yes, you need to re-read Good Omens before the show comes out in May, so why not do that now. And I did. And it was fantastic. And because I am me, and I am weird, I forced myself to stretch the last 100 pages of the book over an entire week, so I could walk into every first session of classes at university reading this book (four of which being theology classes, which was very important for me to be reading this book in). I needed to mark my place as resident weirdo, because who else could it be?

So, in summary, I guess my month could also be called “David Tennant February”. I watch Doctor Who nearly every evening, listen to David’s podcast every Tuesday, think about Good Omens every day—yeah, February was very heavy on the David Tennant content. I am not complaining.

To end this on a less David Tennant-y note, and a more “these things actually happened this month” bit, February has also been a month of, I don’t know, resurrection? Is that a good word? Anyway—February has brought out (or back) more of who I truly am again. Most of it is the weather (thanks climate change, I’m sorry the planet is dying), the sun being out, the temperatures already clocking in above 10 degrees celsius. I am enjoying it tremendously. I am convinced that I might be half-plant because the sun just revitalises me so strongly. Seasonal depression just goes down the gutter once the sun is out and I can feel the warmth of Spring on my skin. I am alive. Another thing is that I stopped, just really stopped giving a shit at university about other people and what they think. I am using all the bathrooms, no matter what. I am going by Alex even in German classes. I don’t apologise for anything or justify my actions. I don’t care anymore. What I do care about, is that I finally got a date for my consultation with a psychiatrist here in the city. I am partially excited and happy about it, however I also, as soon as I opened the envelope, felt completely numb and detached because the date is in June and that’s still so far off, which I guess I knew would be the case, but having confirmation for it, was just a bit…much, I think. Knowing that my future is in the hands of other people is not a thought I like very much and having to wait for other people to have time for me in that perspective is just not a fun thing. But we’ll get there. Eventually.

I don’t know guys, this post is just full on stream of consciousness, just me blabbing on and on about things that I don’t think anybody really cares about. But like I said last time, this is supposed to be a sort of diary entry for my garbage brain to remember what I did in my life, so y’know, this is valid.

I’ll talk to y’all in a month. Be good out there, guys. Be good.

Bye.

#february #blog post #text post #diary #recap #monthly blog #doctor who #good omens #david tennant #writing #trans

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ganzeer-reviews · 6 years

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THE BEST OF MILLIGAN & MCCARTHY By Peter Milligan and Brendan McCarthy o-o-o-c

Madness. Sheer and utter madness.

I must admit that before MAD MAX: FURY ROAD, I hadn't even heard of Brendan McCarthy, which is a damn inexcusable shame. But to be fair, the work of Milligan & McCarthy hasn’t really been part of the dialogue in comix culture. Not even when it comes to talking about the impactful indie work that fell outside of the mainstream; you never hear their work cited alongside that of Frank Miller's SIN CITY (which, before the 2005 film release was only really known in pretty small circles throughout the 1990's) or Eddie Campbell's ALEC or Dave Sim's CEREBUS. But that silence is in no way reflective of the duo's influence.

About a year ago, I listened to an interview with Neil Gaiman for the British Library podcast focused primarily on the RAMAYANA and Gaiman's involvement in adapting it for DreamWorks. When asked if he had a particular style in mind when working on the various [never-produced] treatments, Gaiman was quick to point out Brendan McCarthy's work on ROGAN GOSH, which Gaiman describes as being birthed from Brendan's "Road to Damascus moment, where he ran into a pile of comics in India, and just went 'I love this, there's art stuff here that I've never seen in the West,' and started doing stuff and playing with it." He also goes on to describe ROGAN GOSH as "one of the most interesting moments of fusion between Indian and British and American comix culture."

Naturally, I immediately looked into getting my hands on some ROGAN GOSH and discovered that it was reprinted in the pages of an over-sized hardcover titled THE BEST OF MILLIGAN & MCCARTHY published by Dark Horse Books in 2013 and retailing for only $24.99 (down to $7.19 as I type this). Although a horrendously produced edition (pages are actually falling out in less than a year since purchasing it), I'm still happy to have gotten my hands on it because it has been blowing my mind ever since. Not least because of the work itself, but because it simultaneously exposes a very vital almost secret history of comix lost to... I dunno,an obsession with the founding of Image Comics and the less than negligible work its founders produced? If there was ever a demented, revolutionary punk rock duo in comix, Milligan & McCarthy definitely fit the bill.

ROGAN GOSH first appeared in REVOLVER, a short-lived anthology magazine for mature readers published in the UK between 1990-1991. GOSH was finally collected by DC Comics/Vertigo into a 48-page one shot in 1994. It is perhaps because of the book's modest page-count that it is never mentioned in the same breath as say THE SANDMAN or PREACHER, or THE INVISIBLES or other long-running titles central to the Vertigo imprint's identity. But hey, Aristotle's POETICS is no more than a sodding 44 pages, which is sometimes all you need to jump-start a revolution.

In Milligan and McCarthy's own words, surrounded by "long and bloated 'concept album' comics", they were more interested in "the short, sharp, throwaway pop single. The type you danced to. The type you had sex to."

While the above statement can most be applied to their series PARADAX (also featured in the book), it pretty much hits the nail on the head with the majority of their collaborations, including ROGAN GOSH.

By the duo's own admission, it is not only difficult to describe what ROGAN GOSH is about, it is even pointless to ask. What may have been originally conceived as a “sci-fi Bollywood BLADE RUNNER” rapidly evolved into something far more demented. It starts off with Rudyard Kipling in Lahore en route to a place "where men of all castes come to sleep the sleep of dreams." Essentially, an opium den where "karmanauts can relieve a man of the curses of his sins.” If you think that opening scene will give you any idea of what follows, you are sorely mistaken. Kupling is entered into a "jasmine-scented dream of the future" where we are transported to psychadelic trip after psychadelic trip involving completely different characters:

- A man named Raju Dhawan waiting on another named Dean Cripps at a Tandoori joint called "Star of the East" - The blue-skinned Rogan Gosh on the run from the "bloody-tongued, dark destroyer" Kali together with a small idol of Kipling. - Raju Ghawan as Rogan Gosh together with Dean Cripps on the run from robotic hindu "Karma Kops". - Rogan Gosh as a bull-riding ancient Egyptian cowboy of the future, roaming through the mythic land of Wild Bill Osiris and Horus Thuh Kid.

If none of this makes the slightest bit of coherence, well that's because there is nothing coherent about it. Rather than there being any kind of train of thought, it's more like a train blown to bits upon the detonation of atomic dynamite. Shards of ideas floating around a nebula, jabbing into each other with every turn of the page. It's bizarre stuff, heavy on logic-defying captions almost as much as the explosive visuals. If you, the reader, let yourself go, you'll find that the synergy of text and image in ROGAN GOSH will drag you around a strong relentless current of spicy thought soup. Washing ashore an island of utter confusion is inevitable, but not without a sense of thrill retained from the memories of the surrealist storm that was.

Imagine a comicbook operating along the logic of say, PROMETHEA, 8 years prior to PROMETHEA's publication and without any of the rigorous explanation of the world's mechanics the way PROMETHEA delves into. Instead you're just thrown into it and left to make connections entirely on your own. That's what ROGAN GOSH feels like; a weird transcendental spell cast in comicbook form.

It isn't a coincidence that Milligan & McCarthy share something with Alan Moore other than British citizenship. All three after all did get their start making comix in the indie music paper SOUNDS. Moore with ROSCOE MOSCOW in 1979, and McCarthy et Milligan with THE ELECTRIC HOAX in 1978. This discovery, although new to me, was not at all surprising, as I find that I am typically drawn to creators who cut their teeth in avenues that fall outside of "the mainstream". Where the ones "in charge" understand little about what they’re doing, where anything goes and opportunities for mad experimentalism aren't stifled.

The greatest discovery in THE BEST OF MILLIGAN & MCCARTHY for me has been the duo's work on FREAKWAVE, a comic that, by Brendan's own admission, was directly inspired by MAD MAX 2: THE ROAD WARRIOR which Brendan became obsessed with during his surfing getaway in Australia in 1981. After which Brendan coerced Milligan to co-write a "Mad Max goes surfing" treatment Brendan could pitch to Hollywood. Hollywood didn't bite, but the duo did get to produce it as a backup strip in the pages of VANGUARD ILLUSTRATED published by Pacific Comics in 1983. Pretty straight adventure story initially (well, as straight as Milligan & McCarthy can muster anyway), with the most striking aspect of the strip being character designs and world building.

FREAKWAVE is a post-apocalyptic punk-rock drifter who windsurfs a flooded Earth in search of floating trash he can live off. He battles it out with disease-ridden humanoid "Water-rats" and psychopaths in gasmasks wrapped in old tin cans and the random cultural ephemera of old. FREAKWAVE would later resurface as a punk-absurdist Tibetan Book-of-the-Dead story in 1984's STRANGE DAYS, an anthology showcasing the work of Milligan, McCarthy, and Brett Ewans published by Eclipse Comics. It only ran for 3 issues, but Warren Ellis says it "landed like a hand grenade from another world", which is still exactly what it feels like going through its contents 34 years later today. It is especially in the pages of STRANGE DAYS' feature comic FREAKWAVE that you see Brendan McCarthy and Peter Milligan really rocking out like some kind of alternative comicbook band, the pages crackling with the energetic buzz of an electric guitar. Brendan especially reaches peak McCarthiasm, with 90% of his visionary work on FURY ROAD appearing here first on the page a good 31 years before blowing people's minds on screen.

Which, by the way, how fucking cool is that? To be asked to work on the sequel to a film that inspired your scarcely read comicbook. And to be asked specifically because of your work on said comicbook?

Not to mention that FREAKWAVE, although given a pass by executives in Hollywood, very likely influenced the movie WATERWORLD in 1995, at the very least in terms of look and production design, which let's face it was the only really good thing about the film.

Nothing will give you that good kick in the balls to go off and make comix (or any ill-advised pursuit) more than looking at the work of Milligan and McCarthy. If a big part of the draw of comix for you is that it is medium void of filters between creator and reader, well then that cannot be more true of Milligan and McCarthy's collaborations. Because there are always editors keeping creators in check, or heck, even self-inflicted inhibition on the creator’s part. Not for Milligan and McCarthy.

Never for Milligan and McCarthy.

[Available on Amazon]

Ganzeer November 23, 2018

#comix

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