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#anyway yall who like reading up on process will enjoy this
reimenaashelyee · 1 year
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The World in Deeper Inspection UPDATE Read: (Chapter 1: Pages 1 to 4)
About the comic
TWIDI IS BACK! To celebrate its 10th anniversary since launch, I'm remaking the first chapter and posting pages every Friday, accompanied by my thoughts on the original pages and a breakdown of what I've changed or improved.
Analysis under the cut.
PAGE 1 and 2
It’s March 31st, 2023… exactly 10 years since I posted the very first page of TWIDI!! I haven’t done much to celebrate TWIDI’s anniversaries the past few years (due to general Busyness – yes, yes, check out the forever “TWIDI isn’t dead” sign up on the front page), but the official 10th anniversary is a special unignorable event.
Initially I wanted to make a simple remaster of Chapter 1 – better copyediting, fixing egregious lettering and art errors, alongside a retrospective author’s note… then long-time reader Caracan suggested, why not do a full remake? That’d be fun to see. And I agree – it would be fun to see! I’ve grown my craft and sensibility as comics artist since TWIDI’s debut, and I was so curious to see how 28 Year Old Me would interpret the material that 18 Year Old me produced.
So yep!
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This first page used to be so cool-looking to my 18 Year Old eyes… I can definitely see what I was trying to go for, but wasn’t quite able to reach then.
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A thumbnail from 2013, with notes to myself regarding the composition. In my mind I wanted the wolves to have a James Jeanesque rendering – I was really into his Fables covers back then (still am tbh).
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For the remake, I leaned further into the graphic-designiness of the composition: every element had to sweep the reader’s gaze down onto our protagonist. The wolves are expanded to actually take up half the spread and simplified down to only white lines. The trees and sky are shaped like teeth pointing down to Grimsley. The intent was to evoke a sense of claustrophobia, of the wolves catching up to Grims and driving him into a corner.
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Small improvements: the energy and line of action are clearer with the new running pose. Definitely a better silhouette. And a lot more angularity with the limbs which adds to the sense of movement.
PAGE 3 and 4
This spread is one of the most drastic rehauls in the remake. Here’s the original for comparison
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It’s not very good! (Sorry @ 18 Year Old Me) I remember struggling real hard with the dynamicism required out of this sequence…
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Fortunately after 1000s of double-page compositions and 10 years of practice, I’ve finally cracked this once-difficult composition.
This new page does away with the concept of grids or caring about whether anything is read linearly. The sequence is supposed to evoke chaos and panic as everything is happening everywhere all at once, so it doesn’t really matter if everything can be read or arranged in a neat grid. That was the problem with the original spread: it was too beholden to the grid.
(You can see how in the original, each page was (top row: left to right; bottom row: left to right))
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The new page is like this:
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The page is horizontally railroaded. The main action sweeps from top left to bottom right.
The AWOOO sfx is the anchor which leads the eye from left to right. As the eye travels it may glance up or down at the panels – there’s no real need to pay attention to them; hopefully the improved clarity of Grimsley’s emotional and body acting + me actually depicting the wolf biting his neck + the spiky graphic design elements instantly conveys that he’s in trouble without much or any processing.
The newest panel – the pink grass and canine paws – is a call back for later when we catch up to this in media res.
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umbrella-show · 6 months
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Platonic Yan Rottmnt
「 ✦ 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐘𝐚𝐧 𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐌𝐍𝐓 𝐱 𝐌𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐭.𝟐 ✦ 」
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Part 2 is finally here and there will be a part 3 to finish off this mini series! \(^▽^)/ I'm sorry this took so long to post. A family member recently passed away and I was processing that while having to go to school and being swamped with schoolwork. Finals are also coming like next week but after that I get a two week break so I'll definitely be writing some more when that comes. Anyways I hope yall enjoy! Words : 2,411
THIS IS IN NO WAY APPROVING OF A ABUSIVE OR TOXIC RELATIONSHIP Warnings : Delusion, Kidnaping.
‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹
Being stuck for many months in what you learned was the Hamato brother’s lair was tiring. No, scratch that, it was exhausting. All of them were clingy, needy and especially overprotective. They also began addressing you like you were family, and started trying to spend time with you like you had lived with them your whole life.
Mikey was always trying to cling to you, whether it be holding your hand, carrying you throughout the lair, or just unexpectedly jumping on you and piggyback riding off of your back, clinging to you for dear life like a koala. He basically begged for your affection, trying so hard to take up all of your time with art, cooking, baking and anything else he could think of that would keep you occupied with him. He also called you his twin. Which, sure you were basically the same age as him, and you both were mutant turtles, but you had no connection to any of them whatsoever. You had learned how the Hamato’s had become mutants in the first place, but you all had never met before you or they were mutated, and you two didn’t even share the same birthday. Yet he seemed persistent to call you two twins.
Leo was obviously the jokester out of the four. He makes multiple one-liners around you, trying to make you laugh. He also made many jokes about New Jersey of all places, which you didn’t get. He wasn’t as touchy as Mikey, but he liked to occasionally put an arm around your shoulder or rest his elbow on your head. He seemed more possessive of you, making plans with you to read Jupiter Jim comics and get defensive when his brothers tried to take you away to do something else with them. He also liked to mix in some Spanish into his speech at times. He mostly calls you hermana/hermano.
Donnie was very protective of you. He made sure you balanced out your nutrients and ate food that would make sure your blood sugar levels were at normal rates. He knew what foods you could and couldn’t eat. He made sure you were hydrated and healthy. He knew most about your species. He had spent time studying your behaviors for the first few days you were brought to the lair. He also forbade you to do things that he thought you could harm yourself doing. Even simple things, like reaching items from up high, because, according to Donnie, the item you were reaching for could fall on your head so hard it could knock you out or cause you a concussion. Yeah, you didn’t get that rule. You had to ask either Donnie or his other brothers to help you. He also placed multiple cameras and alarms throughout your new room at your arrival, making sure he can monitor you at all times.
Raph was somewhat of a more tolerable one. While he was a bit more overprotective of you than Donnie, he was the one that gave you the most space and privacy. He was already worried he could possibly hurt you because of his strength, which made him back off a bit. He also was the only one who insisted on your personal space when Leo or Mikey were being too overbearing with their affection and touchiness. He made sure you at least ate breakfast, lunch and dinner, and sometimes would walk up to you, give you a small snack, gently pat your head like one would do to a cat, and anxiously leave without a word. You knew he could be a little shy around you, most likely due to an insecurity that you might not like him or think he’s not doing enough for you. He also occasionally likes to carry you in his arms.
Hell, even their dad, Splinter, grew attached to you. He calls you Yellow due to the spots on your body and shell, and practically treats you like one of his own. Except he makes more of an effort to talk and spend quality time with you. You found out he used to be a movie star named Lou Jitstu before he was mutated by some sheep guy named Baron Draxum. 
Overall, you despised it here. You just want freedom. To see the sky again. To try and adjust to the circumstances of becoming a mutant by yourself and live a peaceful life where you're not constantly babied by everyone around you. That’s why you tried your first, and hopefully last, escape attempt.
You mentally went over the plan again and again in your mind, looking for possible flaws. A sense of doubt gnawed at the back of your mind. What if the plan didn’t work? What would happen to you then? You huffed at your own anxious thoughts, turning to face the curtain that was the door to your room. It led into the main room of the maze that was the Hamato’s lair. Thankfully, there was an extra room in the lair that the brothers had converted into a bedroom for you, despite Mikey’s protests and insisting you slept in his room in a separate hammock. 
You took shaky deep breaths in and out a couple times to calm down. You could do this. The timing had to be just right. Speaking of time, you glanced at the digital alarm clock that rested on your bedside table. 5:21 AM. Okay, just a few more minutes and your plan would be set in motion.
You decided a time closer to the morning would work better, considering the brothers seemed to be active most in the night. A time closer to morning was usually when they slept. It would be the perfect time to sneakily leave your room. You decided trying to sneak straight to the manhole wasn’t an option. You knew Donnie would have some kind of security near there. Not only to keep you in, but to also keep unwanted strangers out. Luckily the lair had multiple entry and exit points that mostly led into the tunnels of the sewers. From there, you would have to try and find your way out from there. It wasn’t the most thought out plan since you had only gotten to explore the tunnels when Raph went Savage. If everything goes wrong and you end up with the brothers on your tail, your next bet is to swim your way away. Or at least try to. You assumed you could at least swim pretty well since you were a turtle now. You hoped that you wouldn’t have to resort to that though. Those waters looked disgusting and dirty and gross. Glancing at the alarm clock again you realized it was about time for you to activate your plan. A few minutes had passed since the last time you had looked at the time. Propping yourself on your elbows in the bed you took another deep breath. The time was now. You could do this. You slowly lifted your body into a sitting position, letting your legs dangle off of the edge of the bed for a few moments before pushing yourself to stand. Your crept towards the curtain, holding it open slightly so you could peek through the other side. Nothing. Everything was dead silent. Good. Slowly and soundlessly pushing the curtain further aside, you made sure to take slow steps to make as little noise as possible. You soon were standing in the middle of the main room, in the center of the natural light that came from the ceiling, the moonlight shining almost a spotlight on your figure as you continued to creep closer and closer towards the tunnel entry. A loud heavy bang of metal made you harshly flinch and hitch your breath. You froze up, staying as still as a statue. After a couple agonizingly long seconds, you turned your head towards the source of the noise. Light came from inside Donnie’s lab that spilled out of the door. You could barely hear sounds of metal objects being moved around in there and mentally cursed. Of course Donnie was awake. Why did you not think of that!? He basically ran on coffee 24/7 and was known for pulling multiple all-nighters on tech and inventions. He didn’t seem to notice you were out of your room though, considering he hasn’t come out of his yet. From the sound that came from his lab you assumed he was building something and was most likely putting his full attention on it. You hoped at least.
Whatever. You had no time to ponder. You took another slow step forward, keeping a slow and silent place towards the large metal entry to the labyrinth of sewers. Even after you made it beyond the tunnel entry, you still continued to slowly tiptoe your way until you were sure you were completely out of sight. After turning a quick corner in the tunnel, you laid your back against the stone wall and slowly panted with wide eyes. You took a moment before snapping out of your shock trance. No time to stop and rest now. Forcefully pushing yourself off of the wall you bolted down the tunnels, desperately looking for any traces of a possible exit. Your feet slapped against the cold stone floor, turning multiple corners. You could only briefly remember the paths that you had taken when exploring the sewers looking for Raph. Adrenaline pumped through your veins as you skidded around another corner. Luckily, there were graffiti drawings on most of the walls, most likely done by Mikey, that you used as a map. And based on the graffiti, you were almost there. You were almost free!
Your blood suddenly went cold when you heard it. Another set of feet slapping against the floor at a rapid pace somewhere behind you. No. No way you were stopping now that you had gotten this far. You urged your legs to run faster, using all of your strength to keep going. You glanced at a graffiti drawing of a smiley face melting and a small light of hope shone in you. This was it. Bolting around the last corner, you took only a few swift steps before leaping into the canal of green murky water that splashed violently along the rounded walls of the sewer tunnel. You ungracefully crashed into the water with a loud splash, the strong current taking you away. 
You poked your head out of the water, coughing a bit, Another splash came from somewhere behind you, and snapping your head in that direction, you saw a Donnie hot on your trail, swimming without a problem towards you. How did he know you had left so quick!? He must have placed some kind of alert in the sewer tunnels too. You panicked, taking in a gulp of air and submerging yourself back under the water. You swam as fast as you could, violently kicking your legs as the current continued to sweep you to what you hoped to be the exit. You held your breath for as long as you could, occasionally throwing your head above the water to take in a large heave of air before continuing to swim with the overpowering tide.
You didn't know how long you had been swimming. What was probably seconds felt like forever. You could swim pretty fast. Almost faster than Donnie, but he was catching up. 
A dead end with a tunnel. You could see a tunnel ahead, blocked by a rusted circular vault door with a wheel handle. Looking over your shoulder you could see Donnie's faint silhouette swimming towards you at a scarily quick pace. You needed to get the vault open and quick. You could feel your lungs desperately begging for air. Your hands gripped the wheel as you placed your feet against the stone wall, using all your strength to turn it. The wheel had obviously not been used in a while, from how hard it was to turn and how slow it did. You panicked slightly, using more of your strength. Bubbles left your mouth as your hands gripped the wheel tighter. Slowly but surely the wheel began to turn and after a few more seconds you were able to pry the metal vault open. You swung it open and hastily swam through the tunnel. You turned around, catching a quick glance at Donnie who was dangerously close, and slammed the vault shut, turning the handle as far as it could go. You then felt the wheel break off from the vault in your hands. You flinched when you heard a loud bang from the other side, and quickly fled. 
Your lungs burned. If you didn’t get oxygen soon you would drown here. Swimming as fast as you could, you saw not far ahead was the end of the tunnel that led to more water, except the water was cleaner. Kicking your legs fiercely, you swam out of the tunnel and immediately swam up. Your head burst out of the water, taking in a loud gasp of air. The harsh inhale of air prompted you to cough harshly. You looked around for land, still coughing violently and wheezing. A wooden dock was the first thing you saw and you promptly began to weakly doggy paddle towards it. Your hands gripped the edge of the dock, slowly pulling yourself on it. You flopped on your stomach, panting heavily as water dripped off of your body. You rolled on to your back instead, spreading your limbs in a starfish position. 
You looked up at the sun, squinting your eyes at the bright light. Using your arm to shield your eyes, the realization hit you with a burst of joy. The blue sky. The bright sun. You were free. You were finally free! You sat up, the adrenaline wearing off slowly. You knew you couldn't stay for long. Who knows when the brothers would be after after Donnie alerts them you had run away. You got up, having a bit of trouble from your shaking and sore legs from all of the tiring running and swimming. You stumbled as you walked at a quick pace across the dock and towards the tall city buildings that could be seen from your location. You need to get as far as possible from the escape exit you just took. You hoped you never saw those turtles ever again.
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smeebo13 · 4 months
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Do Something About It.
By Smeebo13
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A/N: I wrote this in like 5 hours while sitting in class and doing absolutely nothing at all. I kept thinking about what Adam must’ve felt and what he went through in those few days alone. Hope yall enjoy, it’s not my best work but it’s content 🌀
Word count: 3,680
Character count: 19,025
‼️WARNING‼️
This content is a little graphic. Talk of rotting bodies, pee and poo. If you are uncomfortable with reading about those sorts of things, either do I not read or read with discretion.
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Day 1
“Game over.”
The man looming in the now dimly lit doorway pulls the heavy door shut, leaving Adam completely swallowed in darkness. His ankle strained against the metal chain binding him to the rusty wall pipe, his right arm outstretched, reaching out to the hope he once had, and his throat raw from his screamed out sobs. His body went limp after a moment of begging and wailing for mercy. The shot wound in his shoulder was inflamed and swelling. As he lay on the now blood stained tile, he brought his hand up to his shoulder and grasped it tightly, hoping to stop some of the bleeding. The pain was like a sharp burn. It reminded him of his 6th birthday party, when Scott Tibbs, his best friend at the time, had stabbed him with a rusty nail. It was the same burning sensation in his new wound that he had felt once before. The same burning sensation filled in his throat, another feeling that he was all too familiar with. His mind drifted to the man who had left him that wound. His eyes began to pool, and he wept as he still held his shoulder. The pain was almost unbearable, but it was all he left to remember that man by.
“Lawrence..”
Adam continues to sob and his mind is left racing with thoughts of where Lawrence could be or if he was really coming back.
A few minutes passed and his sobs came to a gradual stop. He remained on the floor, staring up at the ceiling to allow his eyes to adjust to the pitch black bathroom. Lying in the dark like this reminded him of the many nights he’d lose power and would have to navigate through his dark and cluttered apartment. Adam was often exhausted from his ‘day job’ so the dark never bothered him much. Come to think of it now, he never really used that much electricity anyways. All of the bill always went to the damn dark room equipment. It was like a loop. Process the photos, make money off of those photos, and use that money to pay the bill to make more photos. He had forgotten to pay the electric bill quite a few times, and he had forgotten again about a week ago. Last night, when he had come home to process his newest pictures, he had fallen asleep at his desk, which he did often. Waking up a few hours later in complete darkness wasn’t a shock, but it was certainly annoying. He remembered grabbing his flashlight.. no batteries. He remembered hearing something. Grabbing his camera. That doll. And he remembered opening that closet. If he had just swung his bat as soon as he opened it, this could’ve all been avoided. He could’ve gone on with his life. The little life he had anyways.
Adam had always wanted to be a vet growing up, but he was never really good in school. Maybe if he had swung that bat, he would’ve still had a chance. Then this bathroom would’ve remained empty, painless, and quiet. But Adam knew he wouldn’t become a vet. He would’ve remained himself; pathetic, poor, and a voyeur. And that man. The blonde man who once stood at the opposite side of the room. He would’ve remained a nameless man who stood as Adam’s muse. His model and his work of art. His source of financial income and a secret he kept to himself. But that man did have a name. And he had a job, a wife, a child, and a secret of his own. Adam didn’t care though, at least not before. Lawrence may have only been a project to him, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore. The 6 hours that were spent together with him showed Adam that he was in fact a human, too. He may have been cold, maybe even condescending at times, but he knew Lawrence cared about his family. Adam had family too, but seeing someone act out of pure desperation and insanity just to see their family again made him question things. He knew he needed to reach out to his mom again. He thought about it a lot. But now, he meant it. He kept telling himself that once he got out, once he was free, he’d call his mom and apologize. Maybe he’d even apply to vet school.
There was a stray cat that would hang out in the stairwell of his apartment building. Every day and every night, anytime he’d see the cat, he’d give it a gentle stroke and then be on his way. In his head, he had named the cat Flash, but he knew that if he ever said it out loud, he’d grow too attached to the thing and he couldn’t afford a cat anyways. Now, he’d do anything to see that cat again.
His eyes had adjusted to the dark and he crooked his head up to look over to the door. How he wished that door would open to reveal Lawrence back with help, or someone who had just stumbled upon the place. Or even the damn cat. But the door stayed shut and the air remained stale and still. The pain in his shoulder hadn’t fully subsided, but he was now used to the pulsing and the sting. He sat up from the floor and his eyes were instantly planted on the corpse in front of him. The man that he had beaten to death. Panic had set it once again and he used all of the leg strength he had to push it as far from him as he could. The metal chain dragging and scraping the floor made him cringe and he could feel himself becoming angry again. He reached up the wall and rose to his feet to try and get a better grasp on what to do, if he could even do anything. His eyes were squinted, not a single drop of light anywhere, and the room was too dark to make out any real details. He raised his hands to his head and began to sway and pace slightly to calm himself down. He felt hopeless. It felt like hours had passed when it had only been 20 minutes. Adam sat himself on the edge of the bathtub and cupped his head in his hands. They were filthy. One stained a slight yellowish brown color up to the elbow and both covered in dust, dirt, and blood. But it just looked like a black stain now in the darkness.
While sitting in the silence, any sound, drip, or creek made his eyes shoot open with hope. 20 minutes turned into 30, then 40, then an hour. He had sat himself back in the corner on the floor and rested his head against the broken wall tiles. He doesn’t remember when, or even how he fell asleep, but he had woken up feeling groggy after a few hours had passed. There was no telling in what time it was or how long it had been now. When his eyes fully opened, he was hit with realization that this wasn’t a bad dream. He sighed heavily and the deep breath he took in smelled of mildew and rot. It was enough to make him gag, but he was able to hold down the urge to vomit. That would only make things worse. His body felt sticky and hot. He reached to the hem of his blood soaked shirt and pulled it up and over his head. His shoulder ached, the bullet was still nested deep inside, but surely the doctor who put it there knew what he was doing. Adam knew that his body would be too weak to fight off any sort of infection. He tossed his ruined shirt off to the side and brought his hand up to the injured shoulder. His breathing was now heavy, and the pain was getting worse. It felt like a burning welt or blister. The bullet was practically begging to come out. He took a few shaky breaths and placed his fingers onto the entrance of the wound. He sucked the air through his teeth, his fingers felt like fire next to his new bodily trauma. He held his breath and slowly but firmly inched his fingers into the hole. His eyes filled with tears as he choked for air. He let out a suppressed scream as he inched in deeper, finally feeling where the bullet had been lodged. Taking a few seconds to regain some strength, he takes another deep breath, but this time is unaffected by the odorized air and is too focused on this agonizing self procedure. He grabs the bullet between his finger and thumb and starts to pull. The pain is like nothing he had ever experienced before. His face was wet with tears and spit as he continued to pull and scream to fight off the pain. Finally, his fingers and the bullet exited the wound and he was brought a feeling of slight relief. The pain is still present, but now it felt empty. No more pressure, and a hope that it may start to heal normally now.
Adam held the bullet tightly in his hand, not really knowing why. He took a few slow breaths and closed his eyes. The room was still hot and he was covered in his own blood, tears, spit and sweat. He longed to take a shower or even a nice bath. As a kid, his mom would always run him a bath after a long day of playing outside. His eyes shot open and his gaze adverted to the dark and dingy bathtub.
“As if.”
He knew he would never take another bath again. The thought of being submerged in water in such a small space; it would be like waking up in here all over again. Adam reached over to his damp, balled up shirt and used the very few spots without blood to try and soak up some of his sweat. It was really no use, he’d just end up sweating more. But he did anything he could right now to pass the time. But it didn’t even feel like time was passing. He felt like he was waiting for nothing now, but he still sat and waited. What else was there to do?
Adam still had the bullet in his grip and he brought it closer to his face to try and get a good look at it. It was slightly sticky from the slow drying blood all over it, but he didn’t really register that. As he stared at it, his mind went back to that doctor. The look of his face when he was sprawled out in front of Adam and wailing about his wife and daughter. He wondered if Lawrence meant to shoot him in the shoulder, or if it was a ‘happy’ accident. Maybe Lawrence had been so far gone in that moment, he didn’t care if Adam lived or died. But he did live, and he didn’t understand why.
Adam was never very religious, but right now, he couldn’t help but look at that bullet and wonder. If God wasn’t real, then why did he survive? Was it out of pure coincidence, or was someone or something ensuring his survival? No. He knew there was no way that any god would allow any of this to happen. Even though he had survived, he still has to live with everything that happened. He wrapped his fist tightly around the bullet and considered chucking it across the room. But he couldn’t do it. In his hand, he held the only thing that kept him connected to that doctor. To Lawrence. His only hope for freedom and survival now.
He throws his head back and leans against the wall once again, still holding the bullet tightly. His shoulder is still pulsing, his face red from tears, and his whole body stiff and sore. All he can do is wait.
Day 2
Adam opened his eyes once again to still find himself in the same spot. The hunger in his stomach had become too hard to ignore and his bladder felt like a balloon. He reached his hand up to search for a pipe to help lift him off the ground. His body started to feel weak and it ached all over. He shifted his way over to the tub and unbuttoned his jeans so he could at least take a piss. His head felt heavy and the darkness started to play into his disorientation. As he leaned over the tub, the piss hit loud against against the rusty metal. The heat and lack of ventilation caused the smell of fresh urine to infect the air, but Adam was too desensitized to notice. Once he was finished, he dropped back down to the floor in front of the tub and sighed. His head was pounding. Probably from fear.
Was Lawrence even coming back? How long had it been? He brushed the hair out of his face with his hand. The room was getting hotter by the second and he was drenched in sweat. The smell of the room had caught up with him now and it filled his nostrils with stale, thick air. It smelled now like piss, rot and iron. He put his hand on his mouth, gagging again at the smell but repressing any sort of need to puke.
All the attention was now suddenly on the door. A clatter was heard from the other side. Could it be Lawrence? Was he finally back? Was he finally going to be able to experience freedom again?
He waited..
Silence.
He waited a little longer.
More silence.
He was able to call out.
“Hello..?”
His throat was dry and his voice was raspy. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had water, but now it was all he wanted. All he wanted was water, a shower, that stupid cat and that stupid fucking doctor.
He felt angry and annoyed when there was no response. He grabbed a small piece of the broken tile off the floor and threw it across the room. He felt betrayed. Abandoned. Deep down he knew he wasn’t getting out of there. He reached down to throw another peice of tile, but his hand landed back on the bullet. He picked it up and examined it in his fingers. And he felt the sadness and pain raise in his stomach. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream. He wanted to get the hell out of that room. He clutched the bullet in his fist now and threw it. It made a clattering noise before it landed in its new permanent home, and the room fell completely silent once again.
As he sat there, now feeling helpless, he thought about the people who might look for him if they ever noticed. He wanted to believe that Lawrence would come back, but by the looks of it, he may have been dead. His body somewhere a few feet outside the door, decaying while Adam sits and waits for him. His savior who will never arrive.
His mother would probably never know. She’d continue on thinking her son just stopped calling. Stopped caring. The only person he could think of that might actually ‘care’ was Scott. He knew that Scott would only care though because he takes pictures for Scott’s band. One no-show and Scott would be livid. At least it meant a shot at hope.
Adam’s eyes felt heavy. There was nothing else to do in this room but sleep and think. And he couldn’t fight the mental exhaustion that pulled him back into slumber. His head was leaning on the bathtub edge and the hard floor started to hurt his ass. But he didn’t want to move. He could feel depression settling into him. His dreams were only a replay of the things that happened a day prior. Only in the dream, it was Adam that had sawed off his own foot. And it was Adam who had pointed that gun at Lawrence and pulled the trigger. Seeing Lawrence fall to the ground with a lifeless thud made Adam jump awake. The sudden movement sent a sharp pain to his shoulder, still agape and probably infected despite his makeshift extraction. His neck was stiff, but he tried to look around the room. Nothing had changed. The adrenaline in his chest died down and his mind was brought back to his bitter reality. Somehow though, the dream felt worse. At least in the room now, it’s quiet. And he’s alone.
Adam dragged himself along the floor and back into his corner, and sat with his knees now pressed against his bare chest. His mind was left wandering, constantly on the thought of what happened to Lawrence. He had made a promise that he would come back, so something had to have happened. As Adam thought about it, he thought that maybe the same nameless man who rose from the dead and locked him in this room, killed Lawrence too. But he could feel something in his gut telling him that Lawrence okay. That he was alive. That feeling made him sick. He didn’t know how to truly feel towards that man now. He wanted to hate him. To resent him. But he still held onto that hope that maybe he’d walk through that door and maybe everything would be alright. Maybe.
Day 3
Adam had passed out with his head on his knees. When he woke, he was already used to the hazy sight and stink of the room. His neck and back were stiff, and the sweat that coated his body was thick and sticky. His felt dizzy, which helped distract him a bit from the pain everywhere else in his body. He let his legs fall down to the floor, and he sat there limp. Every now and then, he’d feel a sharp pain from his stomach. The man was starving. He rested his hands gently across his stomach and squeezed his eyes closed. Right then, Adam began to pray. He didn’t know who he was praying to, or what he was praying for. Tears started to seep from his eyes. All he could do was pray.
“Please please please please..please…please…”
His begging for mercy turned into sobs. He felt truly alone and afraid. He was afraid of dying alone. Being forgotten. It seemed as though he already had been. Lawrence wasn’t coming. No one was coming.
He felt useless. He thought about what that man on the tape said. Adam was ‘angry and apathetic. But mostly just pathetic’. Even now his anger was present, but had no energy to show for it. However his apathy had been changed forever. He had learned something from this so called ‘game’ and it was that everyone, no matter who, is a person. A human being with a life that must be cherished and taken care of. If he was able to learn, then why was he still being punished? Did Lawrence learn anything? No. But his game wasn’t about learning. That may have been the goal, but he did what he did out of desperation. He did what he did because he couldn’t handle losing. If he had learned something, then he would’ve come back for Adam.
The passing hours all blurred together. Adam had no clue how long he had been there now. He was ready to give up. His body was weakening and his sweat glaze caused him to start shivering. He grabbed for his shirt, still bunched up next to him and put it back over his head, aching. The blood was dry and caked into the shirt, but he didn’t care. His now cold body felt weaker than it ever had. He dropped his arms to his sides out of exhaustion and he let his head rest against the pipes behind him. He didn’t care to do anything else now. All he wanted was sleep.
Day 4
He hadn’t moved an inch since he had dozed off. His chest was barely moving as he breathed. He was still alive physically, but mentally he was already dead. He had let go of hope. In his half awake state, he thought he had heard someone open the door and maybe even a flash of light. But he convinced himself it wasn’t real. It was a dream.
But then he felt the touch of another human being. He tried to open his eyes, but the light from the flashlight was too bright for him now. He could hear the voice of a woman. Her voice felt familiar, but he couldn’t figure out how, and he didn’t care. He felt hope and happiness wash over him as she tried to move his body. He was far weaker than he had been previously, and wasn’t able to hold himself up well. He could still hear her talking, but wasn’t focusing on her words. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He was ready to be free again. He thought about his mother and how he would call her as soon as he could. He thought about that stupid cat- Flash. And how he’d take him in. For once, Adam felt excited about living.
It was all ripped away from him when he felt the plastic wrap cover his face. It was like getting locked in that room again. He wanted to fight. He wanted to punch, hit, kick and scream. But he couldn’t. His body and mind were too far gone. He tried, but to no avail. In his last moments, the tape replayed in his head again. ‘You might be in the room that you die in. So are you going to watch yourself die today Adam? Or do something about it?’
He may have won his game, but he never did anything about it. He won because Lawrence cheated. And he lost for the very same reason.
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🌀
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may or may not have stayed up all night reading this book as soon as I could get my hands on it but anyway I have some thoughts and most of them are screaming.
I really loved the book. Did it have flaws? Yes. Do I care? No. I'm 22, the targeted age range is something like 10-16. When I first got into this series I was the same age as nico. It's been a long journey getting older and changing and healing. Seeing that for Nico was all I really wanted from this book.
Also, realistic relationship struggles and growth!! Loved that!! Having a chronic illness is hard, your partner watching you suffer with it is also hard for them!! Having conversations and misunderstandings and awkward moments is how it goes!! After being in a 3 year relationship with someone I love very much I'm like,,, yes!! Thank you!! I have lifelong chronic illness!! It's not going away I gotta learn to live with it it's a part of me!! My partner struggles with it but is trying so hard and I love them so much!!! But I'm so much more than a pile of suffering and that's the point!!! You choose to keep trying and that's the point the book makes!! there's a whole scene about it and it's so important!!! Will starts to be more accepting and understanding and we love to see it! Nico accepts he needs to let himself move on and that it's ok to do that and not be angry with your past self for trying to stay alive!!
I make no sense and I don't care. But also, they're cringey and memey and dumb. They're hysterical and going a little bit crazy and they love each other and like, I'm not ok. Neither are they. Its been an extremely stressful week for them.
And I don't think it's super out of character because we barely know these people!! Nico has been suffering and in survival mode almost the whole time we have known him!! Will has been a background character most of the time!! Nico was a bubbly 10 year old and Will was like 4 sentences. Nico has made occasional/awkward/dark jokes and Will was shown to be stubborn and concerned and caring because demigods are ridiculously hard to keep alive. Let them be weird and cringey they're literal teenagers. Have you been in a high school with people obnoxiously dating. They are. The worst.
Broke: camp is empty because people wanna see their families
Woke: camp is empty because will and nico are just that couple who are cringe 100% of the time and everyone just noped out
I know I keep getting sidetracked but. Point is. nico and will seem out of character because of circumstances and time skips probably. Nicos finally in a stable place and can actually process things, mans is curious about the world he's in no wonder he's a memelord the internet just does that to you. People change when they're not in survival mode, I definitely am not the same person I was when I was 16. Not even the same person I was when I was 18. Or 20. Like, mental health glow ups bring out some of the best parts of you.
AND THANK YOU PIPER I FEEL SO SEEN RN, don't know what label I fit under, I am confusion but it's ok!! I am a big ole ace spectrum mess and maybe tomorrow it'll be different! Either way the book had a lot of great moments and no it's not the same as old rr books but it was never gonna be, the nostalgia associated with the original pjo series means nothing will ever live up to those books and that's kind of just life for some of yall. fuck knows I crave the joy I felt playing crash bandicoot for the first time. I miss that time of my life and it's ok to miss that but it's also ok to move forward and find new things that bring life joy and meaning!!
anyway. I enjoyed the sun and the star and I will continue to enjoy it regardless of what other people think, I can like things just because I do, or just because they make me happy. And this book definitely made me happy. Also holy fuck I need some sleep. Sorry about all the exclamation points it's all that's keeping me awake!!
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unclassedguy · 12 days
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Jjk 261 leaks ahead:
Alright I was going to post about this in the morning but I got distracted and needed time to process everything anyways.
I don't usually share my thoughts on the new chapters publicly but I will make an exception now 😔.
Yap incoming
ok, so there were a lot of theories floating around before 261 about if we would actually be getting a gojo comeback or not. Honestly, some people pointed out why gojo reviving might not be the best decision for the story, but I was placing bets on it anyways because I too was pretty bummed by his end and also because my naive self chose to believe it was the most likely choice for gege to make.
However I did try to keep my hopes reasonable, choosing to belive that it could just be a hallucination.
Truthfully, I didn't think it would be Kenjaku. I'd seen the theory that it could be them but I honestly doubted gege would do that. Yet in the depths of my copium filled soul I had always been holding onto the hope that kenjaku would somehow return to the story. When I tell you my secret little stash of cope was as potent as some gojo fans im telling the truth 😭.
I honestly hoped maybe it would be kenjaku, just maybe. This morning I sought out the leaks and you know what I saw? This:
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I was DYING. For a second I thought gege had really done, I was in disbelief, I was in shock, I briefly wondered if this was a joke.
AND THEN I WAS SO HAPPY. I was like: Yes! Answers! Yuji-kenjaku interactions! An unexpected twist in the fight! Forget the logistics of how kenjaku ended up in Gojo's body, I was going to trust gege's cooking and enjoy the chapter before taking a step back and critiquing anything.
And then I read that it wasn't kenjaku. It was Yuta using kenjaku's ct.
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I didn't want to belive it could be Yuta. Of all the outcome I thought it CANNOT be Yuta. Not possibly. BUT IT WAS. IT WAS YUTA.
I have felt emotional when consuming media before, and sometimes underwhelmed or critical when something didn't rub me the right way, but I'd never understood people who act so utterly devastated by an author's decisions.
I UNDERSTAND NOW.
I've been mourning all day man 😭. My gojo cope, my kenjaku cope, all of it down the drain just like that AND ALL AT ONCE. I genuinely am not sure what about this chapter gas prompted such emotion in me. Am I lobotomized after all? I choose to belive its the sheer shock of this chapters events.
Tbh, I read the rest of the chapter in a bit of a daze and I'd have to go back and look over it again to share any actual thoughts or analysis, but I will says some other things stood out at me about it.
first of all, I don't hate Yuta. He's not my favorite character but I don't hate him and I wish the best to you yuta fans, however yall are feeling. his line about how the others are so worried about becoming monsters, unknowing that they've forced that role onto gojo all this time hit pretty hard for me. And now Yuta is taking on the same role since gojo's gone. He's strong and is not just taking Gojo's body but in a way taking on his position as the 'monster' of the jujutsu world, even if only for the dubious amount of time he had left.
Also the way sukuna just, punches yuji aside 😭. Nahh. The disrespect. He rlly just sees yuta in gojo's body and tosses yuji away. Rlly hope my boy beats him up next chapter and it doesn't become a yuta-one-man-show.
Overall I'm dying, I'm crying, I'm gritting my teeth, I miss kenjaku, I miss gojo, rip yuta 😭
(Please gege give me my wife back. Even just a kenjaku flashback is enough. Gege pls.)
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uglypastels · 2 years
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Right
I thought this was over but then i saw it pop up in my notifications again and truly had a face crack moment
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Because that's all you give by leaving these kinds of comments. A very sad and empty feeling in my chest that makes me want to scream. Of course, it doesn't help that the comment was left on a fic where these were literally all the comments before it
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(The last one i cut off because it just was a suggestion of where the story should go)
Now, i removed the urls bc i do not have anything against these people. It's not about them. This type of stuff shows up in almost every fic of mine.
And yes, obviously I appreciate the thought behind the fact someone wants to read more of my writing but I also cannot stop the feeling of how little the work i actually have put out is valued.
Maybe it is a short fic of not even a thousand words (although I have also gotten these demands on fics reaching 15k in word count) but it still takes time and effort and energy. Especially with requests, its difficult to write something you know another person has thought of, has expectations for... There is always doubt in my mind when I post a request that I failed the person who wanted the story because it's not what they expected. It's nervewrecking. So yeah, seeing people enjoy the story and wanting more definitely dissipates that constant worry But (there's always a but y'all)
A writer has their own ideas of how a story should go. Even if its a request, you get to interpret that in your own way (previously mentioned anxieties follow up later) and hopefully those interpretations will be appreciated. That includes the plot. And the plot includes, you guessed it, a beginning and an ending.
As the writer, I decide when and how the story ends.
By getting comments such as the ones I put above, I just get constant reminders shot in my face that no one really cares. Not just about me- hell, i dont care about myself- but about writers in general. No one cares about the actual creativity of the writing or the processes. Yall just want your free content, which is understandable in this economy, and then move on.
I could blame this on the Story Time/Like for Part Two internet culture and maybe I am. Hopefully you can see the comparison, especially with how on Tiktok all content constantly seems to be accumulating into series and parts and just never ending. All a person has to do is comment "pt 2 pls" and like it and done.
Just consider that, you get to enjoy something that is given to you completely for free, no questions asked. So why dont you actually enjoy it? Why does there have to always be more? (And if so, why cant the "more" be the already existing catalogues of the writers on here? Or did you skim through all that already -sorry im getting pissed off now, sleep deprivation)
Anyway, i'm tired and dont make any sense. Besides, i cant and wont police people around on here. read the stuff you want, comment all you want, but dont forget that the people writing the stories you like are also human with their own ideas and emotions. Not machines who can print out words at any given command.
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y4miiiiiiiii · 11 months
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Kyle Gaz Garrick x NbBlack!Reader
Coffee shop AU
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Kyle was wiping the counter, after serving a client waiting fir the next one to arrive. He can't help the smile, hearing Ghost and Soap arguing in the kitchen about Soap messing up something and Ghost yelling at him, when they both suck at baking. Meanwhile Price is in the back, enjoying his cigar, but also so close to opening the damn door to kick their asses.
The soft ding! of the door pulls him away from the distant arguing of the two men. "Hello! and welcome to Cake Force 141, how can I help you today?" he says, huge beaming smile on his face. "Hi! Can I have 2 strawberry shortcakes and a café au lait?" you said, looking up from your phone to Kyle's face.
He stares at you a little, before apologizing and taking your order "oh uh yes! right away!" you nod, giggling a little before sitting in the corner, reading or scrolling on your phone. You can feel his gaze on you, which makes you smile, but you don't call him out.
"KYLE! CAN YA TELL GHOST THAT YE DONT PUT CINNAMON IN COOKIES!! FUCKERS GONNA KILL US!" He sighs heavily, turning towards Soap sending him a death glare.
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15 minutes have passed, and you're sitting there, looking beautiful and sipping on your coffee, smiling at whatever cat video you just saw. He can't help but steal glances your way while serving customers. Of course this didn't go unnoticed by the others. "Ya think he'll ask for their number?" "Maybe who knows ya slag" "That was unnecessary."
"Excuse me? I would like to pay" you said approaching Gaz with a smile that had him cry inside. "Oh sure! that will be..£11.85! (I have no idea how British money works💀) you nod, taking out your wallet and handing him money, along with a little piece of paper. "well goodbye then, Kyle"
He just stood there watching you leave, processing what just happened with the 3 other men screaming and cheering like high school girls. He looked at the paper seeing your number and a little note "you have a really pretty smile, let's keep in touch!" with a little doodle and a heart.
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You came back two days later, alone again. Kyle was really happy to see you, after all you guys spent the last two days chatting for hours. "Hey! How was your day?" "It was doing okay, needed to see your smile to feel better" needless to say, you just stayed close to him with your little cup of tea or coffee just talking and giggling.
YALL IM SORRY FOR THE MISTAKES I KNOW NOTHING ANOUT THE SCOTTISH ACCENT THE BRITISH ACCENT AND THE MONEY☠️ anyways hope you guys like it!
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duochromium · 6 months
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thought i’d make an “ongoing projects list” for the few who are gonna go to my profile and read this so here is the december 11 2023 deer fanfic status report, ordered from highest priority to lowest priority, where for once i actually go into detail about the wip projects of mine
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first on our list is a fanfic i started on saturday night, ‘The Ferryman’. it’s a short oneshot focusing on Eiki, Komachi, and their boss/worker dynamic and also what their life actually is like over in higan. the premise is just eiki joining komachi on break to go skip stones and talk and they eventually just start talking about how they actually view the other, friendship development heartfelt moment etc etc (it is NOT yuri. i would NEVER write about women falling in love)
it’s the first in a series of unconnected oneshots where i write about characters i’ve never studied before (credits to riguren for the idea). it’s not gonna have much going on and all of the works in the series will probably be really light hearted. i’m most likely doing Satori next since the one time i’ve written her seriously she was just Grumpy because i haven’t studied her before. anyways this oneshot series is going to contain zero romance because i want to explore more non-romantic relationships but dw more homosexuality coming soon
ferryman is currently 1,022 words
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second in my priority list is a fic I started all the way back in late July. this one is OLD old. the title is, i shit you not,
‘You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night" about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drownin' but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?’
it fits in the ao3 title character limit. i’ve checked. the title has literally no connection to the story itself. it’s a line from Eminem - Stan. i’ll get to how i came up with it later.
so the actual premise is flandre is bored so sakuya takes her on a night walk, then the two creeps meet the grassroots trio (wakasagihime, sekibanki, and kagerou if yall dk) and it’s basically just flandre having no social skills and the grassroots being absolutely terrified of these two widely known and feared people in gensokyo who are actually much politer than they ever could have expected. it also contains a yukkuri joke that i am considering writing out because it didn’t land well
as for how i got to the name, here is a message i sent to my friend on discord three days after starting it:
so my thought process was basically:
“ok well maybe call it night walk”
“nah too boring. maybe something that describes a specific aspect?”
“oh I could call it ‘in the air of the night’ which is some phrase I heard somewhere”
“hey where did I hear that phrase”
“oh yeah an Eminem lyric”
“Fuck it. Title it the original Eminem lyric.”
hilarious yes i know. in the air of the night is currently 2,488 words (I ONLY PICKED IT BACK UP RECENTLY FORGIVE ME)
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third up is that elusive “Experimental Oneshot” i’ve been talking about in my notes for the past two months. it is called “They Beat The Shit Out of Each Other at The End” for obvious reasons. it’s basically just a crackship except they’re friends instead of lovers
so our first protagonist is reimu. she’s really lonely and sad so she gets even more lonely and sad and also way too drunk and lies on her front porch all night crying because what else do you do
our second protagonist is cirno. she’s walking through the forest at like 2am alone because she wants to challenge reimu to a rematch. and also because she’s a dumbass
the two meet and through cirno’s stubbornness and reimu’s drunkenness the two are locked in a stalemate on reimu’s front porch which eventually leads to actual conversation and before you know it they’re actually starting to enjoy each other’s company
eventually day breaks and cirno still wants that fight so it happens and the entire second half of the fic, the fight, is just a really long “hmm rumia ex? what if there was cirno ex where she was just ice goku” joke and she kind of kicks reimu’s shit in. it’s gonna be great and she is not going to respect spell card rules at all
currently 2,778 words
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numba four is uhh. actually this one is probably above the night walk one so consider it second place it’s modern technology chapter 4. sanae and reimu and marisa play a game of monopoly together and get really fucking mad. that’s the entire premise. only 701 words so far i know that is nothing but i have NOT been on my a game lately. gonna be peak though i swear it
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and that is all, actually! i also have many unstarted ideas, i might do a sequel to this post tomorrow where i talk about those
thank you for reading (no tags this one is only 4 my loyal followers)
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wilders-girl · 2 years
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Gilded City- Part Two
Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Fem! Reader (Batman in there too hehe)
Rating: Pretty PG !!
Warnings: Mention of a strip club, implied sexual harassment in the workplace, overall pretty fluffy though
Word count: 2,596
A/n: hey everyoneee 😏 excited for yall to read this insanely long chapter (bc I got carried away). It's a lot of cute shit with the one and only babygirl Brucie pookie (I regret typing that.) Anyways enjoy!!!!
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The concept of darkness wasn’t a frightening one. Not to me. Not when I’ve lived like this for so long; embracing the unknown, living comfortably with fear. Darkness was a reality.
    I woke up enveloped in darkness. 
    I remember the heavy shroud of black that anesthetized me before, but opening my eyes to the same darkness was unexpected.
    Strangely enough, I still didn’t feel afraid.
    I felt the reeling delay of movement and my head spun. I groaned, but it reverberated in my head and I felt much worse. I finally creaked open my eyes to see that I wasn’t walking, but getting carried.
    A sudden fear paralyzed my body as I began to recall what happened before I blacked out. One of them kidnapped me. 
    I tried to focus my cloudy eyes, wincing at the sensation of my pulse hammering in my ears. I mustered up enough strength to move my arm up to push his face and hopefully cause him to stagger so I could run.
    Wait, what was that?
    I squinted, craning my neck to look up and find that the strange material I felt was the vinyl-esque material of a mask.
    The pieces didn’t click for a long while. My eyes were still focusing and unfocusing like a broken digital camera trying to process the image in front of me.
    There was a silence before he sharply inhaled, his lips pressed into a line, and looked me in the eyes. 
    With a slow exhale, he blinked a couple times like there were tears in his eyes. Haint blue eyes looked down at me. They were the saddest eyes I’ve ever looked into, yet they filled my senses with deep solace. A warm breeze blowing through the ancient porches of the South. A lonely mourning dove crying out in the pastel, temperate mornings of a better place. 
    With the softest, most gentle eyes, he placed me down even more gently onto an impossibly soft surface I realized was my bed. I felt I was losing consciousness again, but I fought it. I wanted him to stay with me forever. I hadn’t felt safe since I moved to Gotham, but he made me feel vindicated. My salvation.
    Slowly, he slid his hands out from under me and turned to become one with the shadows of my apartment, fading into nothingness just as he’d appeared.
    I reached a shaky hand out towards him.
    “Wait.” I whispered, noticing white bandages littering my arm.
    He paused briefly, turning his head to look at me but not his eyes.
    He was silent for what seemed like an eternity.
    “Stay.” I pleaded under my breath.
    He shook his head and I noticed his body tense like he was restraining himself from moving. His fists were balled, shaking angrily.
    Finally, his hands opened up and he breathed deeply.
    He looked at me with those sad eyes again, this time filled with remorse.
They spoke for him. “You know I can’t do that. You don’t know who I am, what I’ve done.”
    “Will I see you again?” I asked foolishly. I knew the answer.
    All he did was shake his head bittersweetly.
    “I hope not,” he murmured.
    And with that, my angel flew away. 
    His voice was absolutely irresistible. Rich and smooth like the finest cognac, but it burned your throat all the same. It was weathered, husky. Dark red velvet; the heaviest, thickest curtains blocking out the piercing, blazing light of Arizona. Or maybe the endless torrent of rain that Gotham eternally seemed to sport. A safeguard against the harsh, loud world outside. 
    I couldn’t get enough.
    I thought about him a lot over the weekend as I tended to my wounds. The violence that happened to me was almost a memory thanks to whatever magic he worked. I wasn’t convinced it wasn’t all just a dream. He appeared and disappeared like a true shadow, just like the legends- the rumors. 
But he’s a man. He’s real. I know that now. To a criminal, of course he’d seem like a wraith that silently kills in its wake. Somehow, that wasn’t the same Batman I met in my room that night. 
I want to say that my questions are answered now that I’ve interacted with him. But that would be a lie. In fact, I have more questions now than I started off with. 
Why did he save me? Chasing the scum is one thing, but to aid the victim is something else in its entirety. There were rumors he gave up on being “vengeance”. Maybe this is what he meant; to have a heart. 
By the following Friday, I was feeling well enough to walk around my house almost like normal. Looking at the barren state of my fridge, I decided I needed to go grocery shopping whether I liked it or not.
Around 12 pm, I stepped out into the cloudy day, waving down a taxi to get to the produce store easier. I couldn’t walk the whole way, and I knew not to get cocky lest I broke something else.
“Have a good day honey!” The sweet auntie smiled after ringing up my groceries.
I shot her a quick smile in response, heading next door to the chinese bakery to get a quick lunch.
It was relatively empty for midday, but I jumped on the opportunity to get two fresh BBQ pork buns. The man behind me in line seemed relatively familiar, but I didn’t recognize him until the cashier took the name for his order.
“Sorry, just a couple more minutes, okay?” The chef leaned over the counter with an apologetic smile, snapping me out of my shock.
“Yeah, no worries!” I reassured her, trying to ground myself as the man stood a polite distance away from me also waiting for some buns.
I  must have been obvious in my shock, as I heard a quiet chuckle next to me.
“You know, out of all the bakeries I’ve been to in Gotham, this place has the best pork buns.” He spoke lightheartedly.
I nodded, looking at his face with furrowed brows to confirm to myself that this was, in fact, who I thought it was.
Dressed casually in a grey layered sweater and black jeans, it was hard to believe I wasn’t dreaming again.
“Yeah, they’re great. Especially when they’re fresh.” I stammered.
“Worth the wait huh?” He cocked his head at me.
“One hundred percent.” I smiled back, feeling a little less awkward.
“I’m Bruce.” He extended a hand casually.
I shook his hand, momentarily getting lost in the feeling of his cool grip before remembering to introduce myself too.
“Bruce, and…” The chef struggled to read the cashier’s handwriting of my name on the ticket.
“Thank you.” I responded, sporting her a forgiving smile.
I heard Mr. Wayne give his thanks to the cashier, and I prepared to wrangle all my bags for the taxi ride home.
“Do you need any help carrying those?” He asked softly.
“I’m alright, thanks.” I laughed, flustered. “I’m taking the cab home, so it’ll just be a battle getting all my stuff  in one of those little things.”
“Ah,” he nodded, pursing his lips. He then paused  to think for a second. 
“If it’s alright with you, I could drive you.”
The proposal had my eyes bulging out of their sockets.
“Of course, I understand if you don’t want to,” He quickly interjected. “Gotham’s not a safe city by far.” He looked away, a hard expression on his face. 
“My car’s a little bigger than a cab, though.” He joked, seemingly pushing himself out of the headspace he entered.
“I- yeah, um…” I shook my head, trying to comprehend the situation. There was no way this was happening to me.
“Sure,” I sighed.  “I’ll take you up on that offer.” 
He looked down at me, hints of genuine surprise in his eyes.
Such pretty eyes. The fluorescents did them no justice.
“I’m not parked too far from here,” He spoke in that quiet way of his.
He took the grocery bags from me before I had any time to protest, and began to walk outside, holding the door for me as we left the bakery.
I stepped wrong on my injured leg and had to limp a little right before getting to his car, and he looked at my leg with a strange expression. His eyes flicked to the white bandage peeking out of my sleeve and then back to my leg. The expression was mostly sadness, but I saw fragments of regret and guilt in his eyes. 
For a second, I thought I saw those same sad eyes that I’d been thinking about all week.
Popping open the trunk, he placed both of the bags in the back of the car.
    I opened the passenger door and sat down, buckling myself in as the intrusive thoughts seeped into the forefront of my mind. I wondered if this was the last time anyone saw me. I just got into a stranger’s car, no questions asked, with the justification that he was driving me home and he was famous. Maybe also because he was good-looking. 
Something was seriously wrong with me.
Before I could overthink any more, he stepped into the car and turned the key. 
Soft music started playing, and I quickly recognized it as Depeche Mode. I couldn’t help but smile a little, knowing a literal millionaire liked the same group I did.
“I used to have a motorcycle,” he hesitantly said after pulling out of the parking space.
“I ended up getting rid of it.” He finished after a pause.
I nodded.
“Always good to change things up.” I responded politely. He was trying his best to keep small talk going, but it wasn’t working. Poor guy, he probably hasn’t spoken extensively to a civilian, like, ever.
“Which way are we headed?” He looked at me ruefully.
“Ah, right.” I totally forgot he was taking me home. “You can drop me off at the strip club next to the karaoke bar. I live close by.” I auto-piloted the answer, forgetting that not everyone knew where I worked.
My face slowly heated up as I realized and I struggled to explain myself.
“It’s just a big landmark, you know? Not like I go there or anything, I just…” I sighed. 
“Wow, I really wish I’d have chosen anywhere else.” 
I saw the corners of his mouth turn up in almost a smile in my peripheral vision, and my face heated even more somehow. 
“No worries, I get what you mean.” He responded. 
A silence ensued, shifting from awkward to comfortable, as Policy of Truth played softly in the background.
“Never again is what you swore the time before,” I softly sang, tapping my fingers on my leg to the beat.
“You know this song?” He asked, turning his head to look at me briefly.
“Yeah,” I laughed. “They were one of my dad’s favorite groups.”
“Good taste.” He responded simply.
The rest of the ride was a comfortable silence. I still couldn’t believe I was being driven home by Bruce Fucking Wayne. 
He’d gotten more involved in society recently, no doubt trying to fix that broken reputation of his. The news never spoke of him except to call him a shut-in. They described him like a traitor; one of Gotham’s biggest failures. No wonder he tries so hard these days. Who knows, maybe him driving me home was all a really well thought out publicity stunt.
Everything in the news got amplified when the Edward Nashton fiasco was at its peak a couple months ago. They call him The Riddler. Sure, the guy’s in jail now, but the damage he did impacts us still. 
They only got the city fully de-flooded a couple weeks ago. Socially, of course, the impact was even more profound. He created an army of people who thought they could kill the Batman. The message of reforming the city got lost, of course. People want an excuse for violence and now that they have a target, it makes it so easy for them.
It had to be hard for Bruce, too. Being excluded and looked down upon if at all from everyone to suddenly being thrown into the public eye must have given him whiplash. The Riddler targeting him in his attacks was simultaneously the best and worst thing that happened to his career. I guess not much changed, though. To everyone in this city, he was a sob story before and he still is now. 
I was snapped out of my thoughts as I felt the car stop a little ways away from my workplace.
He didn’t look over at me for a minute, hands still on the wheel, blinking quickly as if he was trying to figure out what to say. I decided for him.
“Thank you a lot, Bruce. Truly.” I smiled at him.
“My pleasure.” He awkwardly smiled back like he’d forgotten how. 
We were quiet, just looking into each other’s eyes for a moment. His forced smile melted into a genuine grin. He sharply inhaled, breaking the silence.
“Right, let me help you get your bags.” He popped the trunk, then stepped out of the car; I followed suit.
Wordlessly, he handed me my groceries and pork buns. 
“I guess,” I hesitated, looking away for a moment. “I’ll see you around?”
“Probably.” He simply stated. “I hope so, anyway.”
I couldn’t help but smile up at him. This had to be a dream.
“Thanks again.” I spoke softly.
“Of course. Get well soon.” He ended the sentence with my name, then got into his car. 
I started to walk away at a brisk pace, eyes slowly widening as I realized he said my name. 
Bruce Wayne remembered me. 
Suddenly, the cold weather wasn’t a problem for me anymore. I was as hot as an oven with a fever, walking as quickly as I could to my apartment. 
Shutting the door behind me,  a wide grin broke out on my face and I practically skipped to my fridge to shelve my groceries. Replaying various moments of my afternoon, I giggled like a maniac and tried to remind myself that he was a stranger to me, and treated me with regular levels of politeness. 
“Get a grip!” I spoke out loud, shaking my head. I was disappointed in myself for thinking about him like this. “No more thinking about Bruce Wayne.”
I spent the rest of the day thinking about him, so that wasn’t helpful. 
I sat in bed with a cup of tea and reviewed the text I was about to send to one of the girls I worked with. 
“Hey, just wanted to tell you I’m coming back to work Monday. If you’re working over the weekend, can you tell Joey? I tried texting him but got no response.”
The last part was a lie, I never texted my boss. He always took my texts as invitations to come over and “help relax my muscles”. I never let him, thank God.
I pressed send, knowing she wouldn’t respond until the morning if she was working.
Laying in my bed after finishing my tea, I realized just how tired I was, and went to sleep almost immediately. 
I dreamed about the Batman, as I do most nights, but this time Bruce was there too. Two incredible men I didn’t deserve and barely knew I existed were taking care of me like I meant something to them.
Only in my dreams.
≿━━━━༺🦇༻━━━━≾
Be sure to comment ur thoughts on this, I love reading what you guys think abt my work ♡ (reblogs n likes r appreciated too)
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sparki3 · 4 months
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Hey yall, so I love to write stories and stuff in my spare time, but I don't like to share cause I hate the idea of people reading my works. But today I decided to get over that and post a little story.
I love the cod games and community and i loved the series Grisellda so I thought why not put the two together? It's an oc x mw era but I might change it to a reader? Who knows first I gotta upload this lol. Uh anyways here's the prolouge, a little taste if you will, I hope you enjoy and criticism is appreciated but hate isn't... thanks!
CHAPTER 1:
El Serpiente
How was this name bestowed on me? To be completely honest I don’t even remember… maybe it was because I strangled my own father to death and took over his business… or maybe it’s because people think I’m cold blooded… either way it doesn’t really matter…
All that matters is that El Serpiente runs the streets of Las Almas now. El Serpiente strikes fear into people more than El Sin Nombre ever did.
Sure, ruling over the small town of Oro was fun and games, but it was pathetic compared to the City of Souls.
Ever since my partner in the drug syndicate, Valeria, got her ass thrown in prison and allowed those Shadow Company fucks to murder half of Las Almas, I was asked to step in.
And let me tell you, business has been booming! No one important enough knows I took over. No one to get in my way.
I helped Valeria escape prison, now she owes me a favour. I hold it over her all the damn time, can she kill me? Sure, but she knows I’m too much of an asset to get rid of.
Currently I’m sitting in her old head office smoking on a cigarette, allowing the tobacco filled product to ease my nerves… I glance to the city, my city. The thought allows a grin to spread on my face, I chuckle lowly before glancing to my laptop as it displays the news of Vladimir Makarov escaping.
Exhaling the smoke, my grin softens into a smirk as I pull out a notebook writing all the ways to smuggle more drugs into America… like Valeria once greatly said, “If there’s a war on terrorism there will be no real war on drugs,”. Sure, it’s considered fucked up to use terrorist attacks as a form to make more money but hey, my morals were thrown out the window a long time ago.
I inhale the last bit of smoke before putting out the cigarette, closing my laptop in the process. My gaze flicks to all over my new office, I sigh with satisfaction before my gaze settles on my phone. I pick it up, scrolling through messages from my employees, I shake my head standing up grabbing my coat and wrapping it around my body.
I walk out my office looking to my bodyguards, I nod to them. “Eres libre de irte chicos,”
In response the two nod saluting me and walking towards their lockers. I sigh, as much as I enjoy their loyalty, my employees do it strictly out of fear that I might kill them or their loved ones… I mean sure it’s true, but they must at least act like they enjoy working for me…
I head downstairs seeing my driver sitting in the lobby. Roberto always was by my side, even after I killed my father, he insisted on staying. His reasoning was that he worked for our family for longer than he could count, and honestly, I’m glad he’s stayed… I like to think of him as my adviser rather than a driver.
I cleared my throat, and he glances up smiling at the sight of me, “Ready Señora Serpiente?” I scowl playfully at him before nodding. “You know I prefer just Serpiente… it doesn’t give away much about me. In fact, it makes people think I’m an actual snake which makes my life a helluva lot easier.”
Roberto simply laughs, his smile lines deepening reminding me of how old he truly is, “Ay you can never beat the gentleman out of me,” I scoff as he guides me to the Volkswagen Polo, I insisted on getting since it raises less of a suspicion then a Black Sudan or a Limo.
“What kind of gentleman works for a cartel?” I ask as he opens the back door for me, I nod and get in.
“Well, me apparently.” He smiles softly slipping into the driver’s seat, I chuckle softly. The car ignites to life, and I sit back and relax a bit. I stare out the window as we drive the streets of Las Almas, my eyes scan over some streets and graffiti artworks. I look back to Roberto, I frown as I notice his hair is greyer than I remember, and his eyes look sunken in.
I turn my attention back to outside… I can’t risk getting worried over an employee… could be easily used against me. My brows furrow as I think about all the times I fucked up and allowed someone to get close to me only for them to just die. Innocent lives being taken always left a bad taste in my mouth, its why I don’t kill someone unless they really deserve it. I swallow some saliva desperate for another cigarette…
To take my mind off the craving I dig into my coat pocket pulling out my phone and looking at the new message from Valeria.
Encuéntrame ahora.
I frown… why on Earth does she want to meet up at this hour?
“Roberto... change of course, we’re heading to Valeria’s safe house.
He simply nods before making a turn, I sit up straight touching my holster making sure my gun is still there, I pull it out checking the bullets and chamber, once satisfied I put the safety on before tucking it back in its holster.
After a few minutes we pull up to a dodgy street, I leave the car nodding to Roberto, “Beunas noches Roberto,” with that he leaves and I walk to the door of a small building, pounding on the door twice then a pause and then another knock… time to see what’s up with my city.
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kenobster · 9 months
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I haven’t seen you post anything on ao3 since July, did I miss something??? (referring to your zero notes zero kudos post)
No, you didn't miss anything on my ao3. I've just been going through an Anakin whump phase on my tumblr lately (with answers to asks and miscellaneous posts and fanart -- some of which I already deleted when they got 0 notes, including a fanart I posted today. So even if you go looking, you wouldn't find all of them). So because of that, whether or not it's true, it personally feels like ppl aren't interested in certain things I'm excited about (tho the like.... three or four people who have shown interest, tyvm). And I'm really grateful to everyone who has read my fics on ao3. If I didn't have that huge bewildering amount of support to fall back on, I'm sure I'd be a lot worse off. So I greatly appreciate that. And at the very least, if all else fails, my mom will show support for all of my posts/fanart/fics lmao. Anyway, so I'm well aware lots of ppl dont have those things to rely on, so I'm hella not trying to take them for granted. ❤️ I'm very grateful and feel very lucky that so many people have said such kind and heartfelt things about my writing.
But there are certain things I still carry a lot of shame for liking. No one could ever make me feel ashamed about 5PE, but my biggest dream is to one day draw Anakin dubconnishly sucking Palpatine's dick. And my favorite fic universe to fantasize abt rn is the Vader Mpreg one. And those are things I do feel ashamed for liking at times. So when those are the things I post (currently on tumblr) that get 0 attention (esp when other things are getting attention), it sorta starts to reinforce the shame I'm already feeling.
Like, I spent 8 hours yesterday drawing that fanart I posted (which I deleted a few minutes ago). I skipped dinner and stayed late at work for 2 hours on Friday to finish writing this post on my work computer (bc my personal pc crashes if i try to make tumblr posts). Did I make either post to get notes? No. It was fun for me. Just the process of it was fun for me. I enjoyed myself so much!!! Totally worth it.
But do I regret posting them publicly instead of just keeping them for myself and my friends? ... Honestly, yeah, I kinda do.
Probably people did like the posts but are afraid to be seen liking things so dark and deranged. And like, that's okay, because I'm brave, I'm super brave, and I will be the first to post any deranged content out of any group of people. But I have limits, too. And if people are willing to read 5PE or shadow AU but not willing to read about Vader's uterus, then I start to feel less brave. :/ And I start to become demoralized over other things too.
Like, I was set to post chapter 10 of 5PE this weekend, but I haven't been able to work on it. Every Shadow, being less dark, is even harder to work on. Because if my perception is that ppl find me sick and grotesque and deranged for my most fucked up ideas (that's my perception, not necessarily reality), then it hurts to have my tamer content be supported instead.
Is that fair to yall? No, not at all. Am I trying to guilt trip anyone? Absolutely not. It's just a current unfortunate reality that's bumming me out, and there's not much anyone can do to change it. I just gotta let the feelings run their course.
Anyway thanks for reaching out anon. I feel better having been able to air all of this. Though I'll probably still step away to some extent (how long? who knows. The depressive episode will decide. But prob not for that long.
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coral-reef-in-command · 10 months
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So I'm writing another campaign
This time its pirate themed and definitely not a rip-off of an anime I've never watched
If you're one of my players, don't read this because this will just be the nonsensical ramblings of a mad DM going insane over trying to shove random ideas together with a pinch of satire
Please ignore any spelling errors and enjoy the show
So there was this pirate dude
He old, he ded, and he had treasure. Pirates like treasure, right? Pirate players want treasure, right? Boom, player motivation.
But theres this other* pirate
The astrict gotcha, right? I'll explain in the "spoilers" section I guess lmao
So this dude isn't any normal pirate. He's a Warforged. And he somehow got fused to the mast of his ship. And is missing his arms and legs. And a lot of his memory. Bro even got wood where metal should be. His name is Stan (or Stanly or Stanford or S.T.A.N.). Stan want pirate treasure.
Player stuff
So theres a thingy I wanna put within each of my players' backstories: they each have the fraction of a magical unidentifiable crystal in their possession. It somehow got into their possession (to the players digression), and always somehow gets back into their possession.
They also somehow have a reason to join a random Pirate Captain that's looking for a crew. They could've heard from posters, job listings in taverns, word of mouth, etc. Said pirate captain is Stan.
I'd like for the players to start at level 2 or 3, tbd. I like the idea of them having some experience, and knowing enough of their craft to be comfortable exploring and adventuring.
ZA WARUDO
Sorry, I had to. Anyways, I used a free map making program to make a possibly prototype map for this world, yall should lmk if I should post it.
The known world is spots of land encompassed by water, encompassed by a long circular strip of land called "Giant's Path". No one goes past it, due to rumors and myths. Only few are brave to go past the Giant's path, and there are no existing maps or documentation of what lies past.
Spoilers and BBEG stuff
I hope no one reading this will eventually be a player, because this shit is wild and I'd rather see your reaction at the table.
So predictably, Stan is the old dead pirate. Do you wanna know how he ended up like that?
Its wild.
Are you sure you wanna know?
Ok, but I warned you, this is some of the weirdest writing I've done.
Death. Literally Death.
You ever see the new Puss in Boots movie? The one where he wants that wishing star? Yeah, that. Death gets pissed at virtually imortal mortal, so Death wants to punish said mortal.
Death succeeded in this campaign, hiding away Stan's treasure, and binding him to his ship. The idea is that Stan was an untrustworthy and arrogant pirate who would always betray anyone who trusted him, so Death split up his Battery Gem thingy between random people to force Stan to work with people. Death believes Stan can't work with others, so he even made it a little easier by making the gem the key to wherever the treasure is held.
I'm still in the process of writing this, and I'd love tips and ideas! I love writing campaigns, and I love running them more, especially if my players enjoy them. I want to make this as enjoyable as possible, so let me know if I should change anything!
▪︎this is planned for newer players, and maybe some players with a bit of experience
EDIT: I've realized that I made a post about an earlier draft of this campaign, so... go check that out if you wanna lmao
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jangofctts · 3 years
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Tumblr media
Mirrored Heart (captain rex x fem!reader)
rated: 18+ explicit 
word count: 5.6k
warnings: smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampies, fingering, blow jobs, clone space racism?  
a/n: ANYWAY HERE IT IS. ive had this draft saved since like a year ago and just now finished it. anyway kwjrkejh here YALL GO. also thank you @jango-fettish​ FOR LETTING ME BORROW SYRENA 
It's curious. 
Well, you, as a whole are curious—completely outside the realm of what Rex considers normal. As far as senators go, that is. 
You're grumpy for one—worse than Skywalker and far more snide than Kenobi—a near gargantuan task bordering impossible. Wit and cleverness come to you easier than breathing, but it's your unwavering kindness towards himself and his brothers that sticks out like a blaster burn against alabaster white walls.  
He passed it off as a joke—some sort of mockery. Rex’s existence has been full of them. The past year it’s been made glaringly clear as to what the clones are to the people of the republic—tools. Mindless war machines dressed with flesh and bone, heart and sinew instead of durasteel and a circuitboard. Humanity has been skimmed over with excuses and debates over the hollow argument that clones were created for the sole purpose of war—nothing more. Ignorance is bliss when you are not the one fighting tooth and nail for petty skirmishes and the survival of your family.        
Ithyea, your home monarchal planet, is a newer member of the Galatic Republic—one of the firsts to advocate for clone rights—cutting through each argument with the steel headed javelin of hope and determination. Controversial in the eyes of the galaxy but no less than true. Yet with controversy, comes chaos. 
Wedged between Takodana and the Cerean Reach hyperspace lane—it’s an essential key to accessing more neutral space sectors without stepping on any toes. While the planet does mirror the size of a larger than average moon, there’s nothing but grandeur with the cutting edge advances in space travel and military innovations. An arts district too, one that’s presented multiple times for the Senate apparently. Rex has yet to see it. It’s an easy guess as to why Ithyea has gone under pointed attacks from the Separatists—it’d be foolish not to try.     
And of course comes the intergalactic mess of politics. You are not Ithyea’s first senator. Or second…or third. Just in the last six months, three of your predecessors have been picked off—two disappearances and a suspicious poisoning sandwiched between them. Which sides these assassinations stem from is anybody’s guess—a mix of both perhaps—all to silence and stamp the voice of your people out.
Heavy are the shoulders that wear those abhorrent senatorial robes, and Maker did it take some convincing for another Ithyean to step to the chopping block. It’s just…no one thought  it’d be you. The infamous captain of King Arrian Felian’s elite guard—trained in combat levels high enough to contend some of those within the ranks of the Jedi Order. When your name comes up in conversation, it certainly doesn’t scream diplomacy.     
Rex is not surprised that you hold the current record of Ithyean senators for surviving the longest. Evading an astonishing two attempts on your life by the skin of your teeth. You were just downright lucky the third assassin missed their mark. Sure, the blade of Syrena Aster skimmed the right side of your cheek and left behind a nasty scar to remember her by, but kriff—even with your background and low levels of public presence, you’re a high priced target. Whoever placed an order with the Heretics, really wants to see you six feet under.     
Rex hasn’t been given the full report on exactly who the Heretics are—a rag tag bunch of untrained Force users and skilled assassins from what he’s gathered—but regardless, this attack is just the beginning. Until the Senate and the Jedi are able to retract the price on your head, you’re stuck under protective custody. Usually ushered away into the Jedi Temple or tagging along with General Kenobi and Skywalker. Despondently, no matter the circumstances of your protection, it can’t shield you from the dreadful invitations to senatorial luncheons.
 And yes, you tried to slip by for this one. 
You don't brush elbows with other senator’s like many of the members in the Jedi Order and your own cohort do. In fact, you actively avoid even speaking to them unless necessary, let alone stand in the same room with seven of them. Odd for an elected official of diplomacy such as yourself to be so cold shouldered—Rex would think senators wanted to mingle.    
It's curious because you're standing in plain sight and yet no one pays you any passing thought. General Kenobi and Skywalker hold the majority of their attentions, shoulders already taught with exasperation at keeping everyone from tearing out each other's throats for, kriffing five minutes. Yet you...you are completely at ease, leaning up against a stone pillar, observing the unfolding chaos from afar with a keen eye. 
Before Rex realizes he's stepping towards your position, you glance over and dip your chin in greeting. The ghost of a smirk pulls at your normally grim facade—his heart skips. "Captain."
"Senator," he mimics, posting himself to your right. There’s still a thin, healing scab from the assassin’s blade that extends from the swell of your cheek to your ear. Ouch. “Enjoying the evening?" 
You snort. "Hardly enjoying it, Rex."
Stars—you shouldn't be allowed to say his name. Your words are razor-sharp like a jagged vibroblade, meant to jab and pierce through armor—tear a person to pieces without having to lift a finger. Everything about you is rough, gritty, brutal, unbecoming of what a senator should be, but— 
You mouth his name, purring out the singular syllable with such tenderness that it's like a punch to the gut. 
It's hard to swallow and he needs to clear his throat—an embarrassing act on his part, but your attention has already returned back towards the meandering senators. "How d'you mean?"
"Well," you sigh, "let's just say smalltalk isn’t my strong suit." 
"Aren't you senators s'pposed to like diplomacy n' such?" 
Your thumb smoothes over your bottom lip in thought as you shrug. "Diplomacy? Sure. Politicians? Can’t say I like them. I just—"
You wave your hand around, gesturing vaguely to the crowd. "I just don't understand why they can't say what they mean. Telling someone to have a nice day shouldn't entail certain death, y'know?"
"Speaking from experience?" He teases, gently prying into that harder than beskar wall you've created for yourself. There's fissions in your foundation and he means to tear it down all for just a mere scrap of information. 
Your eyes flick over, your lips curling into a vulpine grin. “Perhaps...Though, it was partially my fault, I have to admit.” 
“You’ll have to tell me the story sometime, Senator.” 
You nod. “Yes, one day—when there aren’t so many political ears jumping at the chance of gossip.” 
A swell of laughter interrupts your chat, your attention gravitating to Obi-Wan—ever the charmer with the crowds. The end of your mouth pulls into a frown as you sigh and carefully scratch at your brow with the back of your thumb. Rex might be pulling at straws, but what he mistook as you being standoffish may just be your nerves. Socially awkward and flustered when speaking in such an intimate setting. 
Rex’s first instinct is to reach out and place a hand over your shoulder in comfort, but he’s not sure how you’ll respond to the touch. Flip him over your shoulder probably—
Instead he forces himself to jumpstart the conversation—something to distract from your anxieties. “I hope you don’t mind me asking—“ His heart beat kicks up into a flurry of wild beats as you turn you head. “What uh..wh—did you want to become a senator?”
He likes it when you smile—like you’re letting him on some sort of coy secret. You shift your weight and shrug. “The king asked me personally. I’m flattered he thinks I’m clever enough—insulted he sends me to these abysmal gatherings like some sort of show pony.”
Rex chuckles. “Yeah, can’t say I like ‘em either.” 
“Although…” Your thumb runs over your lip again, a sparkle of mischief igniting behind your eyes. “As a senator, I do get the occasional tidbit of gossip. Here, I’ll catch you up—“
The captain startles when you snatch his elbow and yank him closer. Maker he’s glad for his helmet because your lips brush against his earpiece as he leans down to reach your height. 
“Look." You whisper, nodding casually in the direction of a particularly young senator with a shock of white hair. She's swathed in a pool of royal blue silk, much too large for her tiny frame, and all but hanging off Skywalker's arm with glittered nails filed into points. "That is Senator Ceci Paare of Corellia. She looks innocent, no?"
She does. Wide, crystalline green eyes stare up at the Jedi Knight as a pretty giggle escapes past her ruby painted lips. Skywalker grimaces. 
"I quite like her," you continue with a sly grin. "Even if she does try to influence public opinion by an invitation to bed." 
There's no time to process as you focus in on an older man. His hazy blue skin, ash white lips and vermillion green eyes cut an almost nightmarish profile, accentuated by mountains of black robes. Rex can’t recall what planet the senator represents. The senator holds his head stiffer than rebar to keep the ornate golden circlet from slipping off, his white lips curling in distaste as Orn Free Taa of Ryloth places a meaty hand over his slender shoulder. 
"He is Lord Tal’en Sol Ra'ah. Cunning, but sympathetic to the pleasures of gambling."
It's a game to you—of perceptions and nuances only a trained eye can roll over. Rex expects nothing less. This sort of thing has been hammered into the very essence of your being since you were little—reading an enemy before they can strike. It works on politicians marvelously well. 
Truth be told Rex should be paying more attention—but the closeness of your face to his helmet is maddening. His heart twists and coils as your bare hand skims along his gloved one—kriff. He’s not gonna make it before he bursts into a thousand little pieces.  
Rex’s spell of lovesick yearning recedes as you swear under your breath. It was only a matter of time before someone approached your little corner.  
"Oh, Maker save me," you hiss under your breath as a young Mirialan saunters over, the swatches of rich red and brilliant gold accentuate his violet skin like a bloody bruise. "Pretend you're speaking with me." 
"I am speaking with you," Rex snorts. 
Your hand waves in dismissal as your brows stitch together, hands balling into fists. Your jaw clenches as the senator in question puts on a dazzling smile. You look downright panicked. Rex has witnessed you face down numerous senators older than dirt and close to blowing away in the wind with plucky fervor, assassination attempts, being held captive, and you're frightened…by this? 
This is too good. 
Rex has half a mind to help you, wheel you away from your little predicament, but his intrigue with seeing your oh-so-solid resolve crumble is much too valuable and entertaining to pass up. He's going to remember this for years.  
"Rex."
"Senator," he mimics, not at all frightened by your poisonous glare. "Some diplomacy might do you good."
You begin to snarl out a threat but are decidedly cut off by your object of horror planting himself before your hiding spot. You cower into the corner like a boxed in loth-cat. "Ah, my favorite Ithyean! I had begun to worry you would not make it, my dear friend."
"Senator Lin," you sigh. The smile you offer is tight and thin; a nervous one much in the same way one would be if presented with a box of toenails for a birthday gift. “How pleasant to see you."
Senator Lin’s deep violet lips part with an easy smile. He waves a hand in dismissal, his silver rings glinting in the warm lighting. "Please—call me Toluka. No need to bother with such formalities between companions." 
Rex suddenly understands your trepidation with the Mirialan—he’s slimy. And, not to mention, not at all ashamed with the lecherous looks as his eyes sweep down your body. Rex clenches his teeth and folds his arms behind his back. He’s regretting not heeding your warning now…  
Try as you might through brutal small talk and chilly answers, Senator Lin refuses to take the hint. A dark plume of venom green lashes through Rex’s chest as the Mirialan places a friendly hand over your shoulder. You grimace as Rex bristles and glares through the visor of his helmet.  
Senator Lin’s lips pull into a gaudy smile as he glances at Rex and then at you.“My dear, don’t you know? It’s not worth wasting your time with a clone. After all, they’re all the same person. How boorish—come join us at the table.”
Your teeth bite into your cheek as your temper, like the silver of blade through the darkness, cuts through your steely irises. With poised nonchalance, you lift your hand and pinch Senator’s Lin’s fingers between your own and pry them off your shoulder. “Is that so?”
“Your campaign, valuable as it may be,” Lin continues, “is a useless endeavor. They are not our equals and never will be--you must know that." 
Rex forces himself to remain calm—collected and certainly not imaging a thousand and one ways he’d like to see his fist breaking the fragile bones of the senator’s face.  
"Fine buttons stitched upon your shoulders do not compel your worth, Senator,” the harshness of your words is a blow straight to Lin’s ego. His well-groomed brows furrow drastically as his tongue struggles to play catch up and find words to repair his shattered pride. 
There’s no chance for Senator Lin to regain his footing as your snatch Rex’s wrist and sweep him out into the hall. Rex can feel your anger roll off of you in waves, frighting and holding the same caliber of roaring waves thundering against black, craggy rocks. It’s a miracle the night didn’t end with your hands wrapped around the senator’s throat or a blaster shot through the chest. 
When you reach the lower halls of the cruise ship is when you release Rex’s wrist. You pinch the bridge of your nose between your fingers and release a long, dramatic sigh.   
"You are worth far more than that pompous ass," you say with enough edge to slice through a droideka's shields. "He has no right to say those things to you." 
“It’s alright,” Rex soothes, placing a hand over your bristling shoulder. “I’ve heard worse.” 
Your features scrunch up into a wince. “That...that doesn’t mean you have to suffer through more of it, Rex.”
Sighing, you run a hand through your hair and loosen the heavy outer robes strung around your shoulders. You shrug out of them and fold the thick swaths of fabric over you arm—revealing the under layers of your uniform. You toss the bundle of fabric to the floor with a disgusted grimace and sit on the cargo crate closest to your left. 
“Really—it’s ok.” Rex assures again. “I—“
You hold up a hand and shake your head. His mouth snaps shut. “I won’t hear it. To me you are nothing short of perfect and I refuse to argue about it. Maker knows I already do that for a kriffing living.”
There’s a fragile lull in the hollow space—the distant chatter of voices and strange music collecting in the corners. You stand once again, toe to toe with the Captain and there it is again, that elated pitter patter of his heart thrumming through his veins. The nerves of being so close to you—you sweet face and not being able to touch you.  
“Let me see your face.”
His hands come up to the edges of his helmet without hesitation, a hiss of hair escaping the seal once he pries it off. You smile and take a step closer until the only thing separating you and him is his helmet. 
Rex’s eyes flutter shut, leaning into your hand you gingerly place over his jaw. “I wish the entire galaxy could see you through my eyes,” you whisper, the warmth of your soft palm radiating out and warming his entire body.  
It’s a matchstick to kerosene—his helmet clatters to the ground and there’s only a second to spare as both hands move to cup his cheeks, dragging him into a mouthwatering kiss. 
He hasn’t kissed many people—save for those rare times at 79’s, head swimming under the haze of one too many shots of Corellian fire whiskeys where he could barely distinguish his ass from his hand. Those drunken make-outs were nothing like this. 
No—this…this is what a kiss should be like.   
He dreams about you all the time—so constantly ravenous that all he can feel some days is pure ache. Every and all words that spin around his head starts with you and finishes with his pounding heart close to bursting free from his ribcage. Not in the same way a flood rips through an unsuspecting village—more like the brilliance of a thousand doves, marble white plumage thrashing free from their gilded cage. Your lips taste like the core of a newborn star—scorching and yet still so sweet upon the tongue the same way caramelized sugar sticks to the roof your mouth. You are his first and last everything. 
There’s a certain kind of tragedy hidden beneath your tongue, fragile promises and the eggshell thin shards of hope stapled to the roof of your mouth. Rex will take it—seize any threadbare strand and run with it—spool it into the palm of his hand until you’re wound so tightly together it’ll be impossible to untangle.     
Just when the dizziness sets in from elation and not enough air, you part and leave a sticky trail of warm kisses up his jaw. Rex groans and hugs you closer, you humid breath blooming across his skin. “Let me take care of you.”
The words on his tongue crumble to ash once he nods in agreement. Your kisses dip lower, not even stopping when the reach the edge of his chest plate. Stars, you’re…he never entertained the idea that your lips could look so divine in contrast to the battered plastoid. When you fold onto your knees his heart leaps to his mouth, a flare of arousal flashing through his groin. 
You rest your chin over his codpiece and smile. “Do you like seeing me on my knees, sir?”
Rex huffs and studies at the opposing wall—
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Your fingers find the claps over his codpiece. “Can I take this off?”
Rex jerks his head in a yes but grabs your wrist. Not a rough hold—a tentative one as hesitation swirls in his eyes. “Don’t—don’t have t’ do this for me—“
You quirk a brow. “I want to because I like you, Rexy.”
A rosy blush blooms over his sharp cheekbones. The captain nods again.
The codpiece clatters to the ground and immediately you move your hand to palm him through his blacks. He grunts and squeezes his eyes shut. There we go.      
Biting your lip, you pull down his blacks as far as the plastoid plating allows, greeted with the hard length of his cock, beautiful and flushed a rosy brown. Fuck—he’s thicker than you thought. You wrap your fingers around the base, delighted by Rex’s airy gasp as he throbs in your palm. A bead of liquid shines at the tip and just the sight of it makes your mouth water. 
Moons—you should’ve done this sooner.
With a stuttering inhale, Rex trails his forefinger along your cheek and tucks a stray hair behind your ear. The pads of his fingertips skim lower and lightly pinch your chin between his forefinger and thumb. Your eyes lift to meet his. “You—you sure?”
You answer with a kiss over the dip of his navel, the skin searing hot under your lips. Rex curses and rolls his head back onto his shoulders when your palm slides up the length of his cock and then back down. Your grip is firm and tight as Rex slumps onto the crate, goosebumps rushing up his exposed flesh. Stars, when’s the last time he’s gotten release like this? 
You lean forward and lick a languid line from the velvety skin of his balls all the way up to the tip. Rex’s hips jolt. You purse your lips and suckle at the head, dipping your tongue over the slit then down to trace the ridge of his frenulum all the while your hand rolls up and down his shaft. Rex tangles his fingers into your hair with a hiss. You open your jaw a bit wider and take him down a few inches into the wet heat of your mouth, feeling your lips stretch around his cock. You you drag the flat of your tongue along the underside of his shaft to make the thickness easier to swallow down, but he's still only halfway into your mouth when he hits the back of your throat.
“Fuck—" Rex moans as his hips strain to remain still. “S’good—such a good girl.”
You glance up, eyes devouring the attractive length of his clean shaven throat and the underside of his chin. Rex swallows and let’s out another little sound. You whine softly in return and slip a hand into your pants, pressing your fingertips against your throbbing clit as you start to carefully bob your head up and down. Yeah—your jaw already aches just from holding his cock in in your mouth but fuck it—it’s worth it.   
Rex's chest heaves with exertion as he mindfully rocks his hips up, pushing and rolling his cock deeper into your mouth until his shaft is nearly seated all the way in. Ditching your own pleasure entirely, you swallow around him, forcing down the urge to gag and simply hold him here. Allowing him a moment to just enjoy the soft warmth of your mouth before launching into the main event.  
Rex murmurs your name and strokes his thumb over your cheek. “You’re beautiful—so pretty like—like this..ah—” 
You pointedly hollow your cheeks and suck, his flattery warming your chest with pride. You swallow around him another time, squeeze his shaft, your fist following your mouth as you lift up then back down to the base. You grunt at the abrupt jolt of his hips. There’s no distinctive rhythm you can follow as you pull halfway up and let Rex rock his hips into your mouth—seeking out his pleasure without a coherent thought in sight. Just a cacophony of gasping breaths and rough moans of your name. 
Soon enough he’s twitching in your mouth, his eyes fluttering shut as his head tips back onto his shoulders. The gloved hand sweetly cradling your cheek slips to the nape of your neck, tangling his fingers into you hair to anchor himself. He’s close—quiet gasps and broken curses tumbling out, hips unconsciously rocking into your mouth in search of release.
Rex whimpers your name, his leg jolting as you work your jaw wider and swallow him down, the dark curls tickling your nose once it brushes his groin. “Oh, fuck.” 
You hum around him, delighting in the mumbled praises. Almost there…That’s it. 
He’s dangling on the precipice—on tiny shove away from euphoria—
“Wait—“ Saliva dribbles down your chin when his cock pops out from your swollen lips, throbbing from the unintentional tease. “Maker—shit.” 
If not for the gloves covering his hands, you’re sure they’d be turning white from how tightly he grips the edge of the crate. His eyes are squeezed shut, slightly bent forward as he falls away from the edge of his release. Rex sucks in a steadying breath, amber eyes meeting your confused ones. 
“I don’t—can we—“ Rex’s eyes flit and focus on anything but you as he stutters and works up the courage to ask for what he wants. “Do we have time—“
You rolls your eyes and rest your cheek on his thigh. Silly man. “You wanna fuck me, Rexy?”
“Kriff, yes.”
You smile and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “I don’t think they’ll miss us."
Rex doesn’t complain when you take his hands and yank him onto the grubby floor and over your senatorial robes. He props his back against the crate as you shuck off everything below the waste and clamber into his lap. His hands, warm even through the leather, land over the swell of your hips and wrench you closer until your front presses up against his chest plate. 
The rough prickle of his stubble is, in all sense of the word, addictive. He tilts his head to kiss you, the slick touch of his tongue on your bottom lip adding jet fuel to the fire low in your belly. Rex groans and cups your jaw, holding your mouth open to dance his tongue along the length of yours. You whine and shudder as he purses his lips and lightly sucks on your tongue before you both part. 
Rex drags his teeth over your bottom lip as you both pant for precious air. His dark lashes sweep up his cheeks when he looks at you. This close you bare witness to the dazzling color of his eyes—crystalized pearls of amber over the crackled bark of pine tree in the midmorning sun. Muted gold threaded through the brown like fine lace and the slow shimmer of the sun dappled through water. To think such a man like him is dredged through the bloodied mud of war is despicable.
You blink away the swell of tears prickling at your eyes and kiss him once more. Sighing, you whisper down, mouthing soft nibbles and teasing kisses over his jaw and down his neck. Rex squirms and rock his hips up, your cunt clenching around nothing. You need him.   
“Rex,” you groan. You slide your hand between your bodies and grab at his thick length. Rex gasps into your mouth, long fingers clamping onto your waist in a death grip. “I want you.”
“I’m yours.” 
Your nibble at his earlobe as you grind your hips against his length, the folds of your cunt teasingly out of reach. “Touch me, Captain.” 
Rex tears off his vambraces and gloves, hand wedging between your thighs, touching the very tips of his fingers to your throbbing clit. You whine and clench your jaw—the pleasure is raw—sizzling electricity that crackles with the deadly promises of your pleasure. It’s as if you’ve had the breath knocked out of your lungs the second he bears down a bit more on your clit, drawing tentative circles, each completion sending a shockwave of tightly spooled ecstasy through each and every nerve. You nearly sob as his fingers slip away. 
“So wet already,” Rex moans as you tip your head back when two of his fingers begin circle your dripping cunt. They’re thick and long and perfect. Your hips stutter as your cunt easily accepts his fingers, the heel of his palm slotting perfectly against your pussy to stimulate your clit. 
Maker you’re seeing stars as Rex rocks his hand into you—the bend of his fingers the perfect angle to catch all the right places that make you tremble. He kisses your cheek and moans your name into your ear, all low and gravelly— 
Your body seizes up tight as you soar, plummeting off the edge only to tumble so fast and so hard that tears prick the corner of your eyes. Rex peppers kisses over your cheeks and runs his free hand through your hair, purring praise and adoration as you shudder—your mouth parted in a silent cry as you cum and dissolve into his hands. 
When you suck in a steadying breath and open your eyes, Rex is gazing upon you with starstruck eyes—pure adoration that makes your cheeks flare hotter than the surface of two mini suns. Your teeth catch your bottom lip. You’re not sure you deserve to be looked at like this…
However, you’re impatient and running on stolen seconds. As much as you’d like to just simply stare at him—there’s not enough time. Rex wraps his fingers around the base of his cock and slides the tip of himself through your soaking folds. Each stroke against your still throbbing clit makes you buckle into yourself, but the angle that your knees are propped over his hips means you're stuck here. 
Rex pauses and cups your cheek. His thumb scrapes over your cheekbone. “You want this?”
You place your hand over his and turn your head to mouth a kiss over the lines of his palm. Oh, fuck yeah. Kind of him to ask as if hadn’t just cum over his fingers but—no. “I need you to fuck me, Rex. That’s an order.”
Rex huffs out a low chuckle and bumps the crown of his forehead against yours. “As you wish, Senator.” 
Rex runs the blunt head of his cock through your folds again, slicking himself up with your arousal. You mewl and dig your nails into the hard plastoid as the wide tip of him pushes into your entrance—he shudders as you clench and wiggle. It doesn’t hurt, but he’s in no small. You’ll feel him for days, you’re sure of it as your cunt swallows inch after inch. 
You both groan as he finally bottoms out. His jaw his clenched tight as sweat beads at his blonde hairline—Stars above, he’s a sight, struggling not to loose control the second he’s buried inside of you. Desire tickles up your spine, tugging at the fabrics of your being until all you can focus on his how Rex isn’t moving. You shift your hips in tiny, almost imperceptible motions, and squeeze around him. 
“Damn—“ A ragged moans slices through his words as your gentle rocking morphs into needy jolts. It’s easy to fuck yourself onto his cock like this, but the measly thrusts are meant to tempt him. “Fuck, cyare, you’re tight.” 
You smirk and grab at his sculpted shoulders—it’s the push he needs. Rex snarls your name, cups his hands under the globes of your ass and pulls you off his cock nearly all the way out only to slam back in. There’s no time to adjust before Rex sets a pace, fevered and rabid All pent up energy collecting over the weeks you’ve known each other. Each roll of his hips borders erratic, taking his pleasure without thought—intent on reaching his own end after being denied for what feels like ages. 
You squeal in surprise as Rex pushes you onto your back and hoists your legs around his hips. Rex buries his nose into the crook of your neck and moans your name like a sweet prayer wrapped in honeycomb. Rex shifts his weight, widening his knees to sink deeper into your cunt—his stubble tickling your throat as his staggered exhales burn hot over your skin. 
You choke out a groan and feel your arousal begin to drip down your thighs—hear the thrusts of his cock into your cunt become shamefully wetter. Electric heat sears down each vertebrae in your spine, scorching through each and every veins with the catastrophic brilliance of an imploding star. Shit—
“So good t’me—so perfect,” he huffs into your ear. Rex turns his head and steals a kiss. “Feel fuckin’ good stretched around my cock."
You clench around him hard as Rex’s hand sneaks between your bodies and rubs tight, little circles over you swollen clit. There’s barely any build up to your orgasm—just a blinding surge of devastating warmth that sweeps through your body, from your aching center down to your toes. It steals away all the air left in your lungs and leaves your clutching his arm and shuddering for a hold in your own reality—the steady warmth of his body that’s unburdened by armor a much needed anchor for the madness that threatens to drown you. 
His gentle, and pliant kisses morph into little pricks of his teeth over your neck and collar bone as his hips struggle to keep a definitive pattern. Rex’s curses string together and blur into nonsensical noises and loose tongue admittances that are comparable to moving inches from an imploding star.   
“Where can—can I?”
You grab at his head and whine his name. “Anywhere—in me—you can cum in me.”
With a loving caress over back of his neck and a sweet whisper of his name, he reaches release. Rex’s moan is airy as his eyes slam shut and captures your mouth in a sizzling kiss. He’s twitching in your arms as his hips erratically jerk, hot spurts of his release coating your insides and beginning to leak over your robes you lay over. Whatever. 
Rex nips at your skin as the last dregs of pleasure jolt up your spine. Neither of you say a word as Rex’s hips come to a slow. Time trickles through your fingers like sand through an hourglass half empty but instead of rushing to dress, you choose to lie on the ground—two halves of a mess someone’s been meaning to clean up for the better part of a long while. You feel at home here—content as your fingers run up and down the back of his head, a bit irked by the armor still covering his back. You’re terrified of the months to come—but at least you have each other. After all, gardens will bloom and flourish with fresh blooded love and wild mistakes sculpted from passion forever if you believe hard enough…wont they?
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gb-patch · 3 years
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Ask Answers: July 10th
I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!
Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.
For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?
There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.
Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0
The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.
Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.
I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.
Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!
Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!
idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately
Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.
Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 
Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.
I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 
I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!
I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 
Thank you for reporting ^^
I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 
There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!
hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 
I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.
Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 
This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.
HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 
Thank you for getting it!
Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩
Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.
Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 
Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.
Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 
Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart
Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 
Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.
Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?
No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.
Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 
You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!
Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 
I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.
is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 
A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.
I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 
If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.
Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 
It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.
I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)
L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!
I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.
Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?
I understand if it's too complicated, just curious
Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.
playing our life > anything else 
Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.
Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 
Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.
Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 
Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!
Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 
No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.
Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 
They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.
I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 
Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.
Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 
Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.
Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 
It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.
In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 
Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.
I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 
It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.
I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 
Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.
hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 
I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!
Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 
OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.
I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 
I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.
As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?
They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!
Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.
Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?
You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.
Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 
No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.
Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 
Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.
Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 
He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.
Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 
Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.
hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.
sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.
Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.
I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<
Yes you can!
what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 
That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.
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carmensbroom · 3 years
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I've once again had 6 hours to process everything I saw in season 4 so I'm just gonna say my thoughts on it (hold onto your fedoras again folks)
first off, WE FOUND OUT GRAY'S LAST NAME?? I was so shocked and happy at the same time I love how everyone asked for player's real name and we ended up with gray's surname for some reason shsjsj. NOBODY ASKED FOR THAT BUT THEY DELIVERED ANYWAY
ALSO GRAHAM IS AN ORPHAN?? my precious boy *throws mommy's boy headcanon out the window*
the second episode really had me shipping carmivy they're so cute we got a girl's trip and I'm all for it
I think I may now be a dash haber stan but let's not make a big thing of it
also ivy eating the chocolate in the middle of a mission deserves an honorable mention because of her cute little tongue (I'm weird okay djsjsjs)
zack trying to bond with shadowsan and him having none of it was delightful
that fucking robot god damn bellum really thought of everything didn't she every time I thought it was gone it made a come back I literally said out loud "carmen is so fucked"
I SWEAR TO GOD EVERY TIME GRAY TALKED ABOUT CARMEN I KEPT THINKING HE WAS GONNA SAY "BECAUSE I LOVE HER" IN WHICH CASE I WOULD HAVE DIED AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY
yall have no idea how relieved I was when I found out that photo of julia was her and her (presumably) mother and NOT a boyfriend sjsjsjs
catch me making a headcanon that julia has a single mom because her father disowned her for coming out as gay based on that picture alone 😭
I'M SORRY BUT THE AMOUNT OF FLIRTING BETWEEN CARMEN AND JULES?? PLEASE THEY'RE SECRET GIRLFRIENDS JUST ADMIT YOU CENSORED THEM AND GO
OKAY BUT WHEN THEY WERE IN JULIA'S OFFICE AND CARMEN SAID "WAY TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART JULES" AND SHE WAS LIKE "YOU REMEMBERED" I LOST IT WHAT DID CARMEN REMEMBER JULES?? DID THEY HAVE A CONVERSATION OFF SCREEN? MAYBE I'M JUST A BIG HUGE LESBIAN BUT THAT'S A BIT GAY LADIES
carmen getting all worried when julia wasn't answering her phone was the blessed gay content I signed up for PLEASE THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH
never thought I'd say this but I loved devineaux this season he was funny, he improved his treatment towards julia (I don't recall him officially apologising I must have missed something djsjsjs)
the only thing I didn't like was it kinda seemed like they were trying to hint that chase and jules were into each other and I didn't really vibe with that
all that shit with dr bellum and the crown for cleo really had me thinking cleobellum was gonna be canon what a clown I am (seriously tho the way she lost it when the crown got stolen GIVE IT BACK IT BELONGS TO HER WIFE)
look all I'm saying is: tigress new outfit in the egypt episode was hot
HER FACE AT THE END AFTER SHE GOT TRAPPED WITH ALL THOSE BUGS
I wish julia and gray could have met there's so much friendship potential there 😭
is player... is he a bit 💅 I SEE THAT PRIDE STICKER ON YOUR LAPTOP YOUNG MAN YOU'RE NOT SUBTLE
ngl I nearly teared up when player finally met carmen in person
I'M SORRY BUT JULIA'S BLUSH IN EPISODE 7 PLEASE SHE'S SO SMITTEN WITH CARMEN IT'S BRILLIANT
EVIL CARMEN WAS REALLY SOMETHING ELSE I WAS SO SCARED SHE'D BE STUCK LIKE THAT FOREVER
I mentioned this in another post but when julia was like "don't you remember me? I'm your girlfriend friend, jules" I NEARLY FUCKING CRIED THEY WERE GETTING KINDA CLOSE AND THEN CARMEN GOT MIND WIPED
JULIA TOPS JULIA TOPS I SAID IT ALL ALONG AND IT'S TRUE SHE REALLY PINNED VILE CARMEN THAT'S TOP BEHAVIOR (also this now makes carmen a bottom I don't make the rules)
kinda shocked that paper star was hardly here I don't stan her so it didn't bother me much but still it was just strange they didn't use her this season
when shadowsan whipped out the last doll and carmen had all those flashbacks to when she was at vile I nearly started crying AGAIN
I LEGIT THOUGHT CARMEN HAD KILLED GRAY DJSJSJS AN ELECTRICIAN GETTING ELECTROCUTED THAT'S SOME IRONY RIGHT THERE
gray really confused me towards the end he kept switching sides every five minutes for the whole season I wasn't sure whether to trust him half the time dhshsjs
THE LOOK ON CARMEN'S FACE WHEN SHE THOUGHT SHE'D KILLED GRAY WAS SO HEARTBREAKING AND THEN SHE STARTED CRYING OH MY GOD I'M SORRY BABY
the way she's always been against hurting people/taking lives and then she ended up hurting all the people she loves (she nearly killed zack for god sake) really hit me hard
gray's ending was... kinda weird I understood the parallel of him not wanting to complicate carmen's life like she said about him in season 2 but it was still kinda strange that they didn't have one more conversation or get any closure
I'm obviously kinda upset that carulia wasn't canon they had so much potential imo and the show isn't about romance anyway BUT I'm happy with the content we got and THEY FLIRTED SO MUCH THEY'RE CANON IN MY HEART
THE TEAM RED GROUP HUG KILLED ME IT WAS SO CUTE
kinda annoyed that carmen just straight up left zack and ivy she really just left a note and said YEET
ivy's voice crack when she read the note got me all choked up
ngl I'm still not entirely sure how it ended I had to rewatch it a few times to understand what they were trying to imply sjsjsj
would have loved to know carmen's given name but at the same time she's literally THE carmen sandiego that's who she is, it would be silly to go by a name that she doesn't connect with just because her parents gave her it
her mom being a regular citizen was kinda bittersweet I mean a plot twist would have been good but at the same time it would make the story even more complicated
*dreams of a spinoff movie where we get better closure on everything*
ACME IVY ACME IVY I'M NOT AN IVY STAN BUT DAMN IF I AIN'T SIMPING FOR ACME IVY
I know carmen didn't want revenge but I feel like chief got let off with killing her father way too quickly if I'm honest sjsjsj
JULIA BEING IN CHARGE OF FINDING CARMEN'S MOM OH MY GOSH
I feel so bad for laughing when julia got knocked out the way the cloth fell on her head sent me but when the pole hit her head I was like "OKAY I TAKE IT BACK THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE"
was not expecting julia to physically fight anyone I mean she's always been so calm and collected and then this season she was like fuck it might as well hit a few people before we finish forever
wishing carmen and jules could have hugged or had a scene together where they talked about stockholm but I won't complain it wouldn't have really made sense anyway considering they were cool with each other at the university
so glad the trailer was misleading about the coach brunt situation I really didn't want her to get a last minute redemption
another honorable mention: cleo snapping at julia "DON'T YOU DARE IMPLY THAT I AM COMMON" sent me djdjs she was just stood there like "I am but a humble history lesbian leave me be"
I think that's everything I'll probably add to it later if I think of anything or I might make a part 2 djsjsjs (I've been writing this for almost an hour now 😭)
overall I enjoyed it from start to finish. I haven't really cried about it ending yet I'm still processing everything but I'll probably have a little sob when it finally hits me djsjsjs
CARULIA NATION WE BASICALLY WON NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I REWATCH ALL THEIR SCENES TOGETHER AND MAKE IT MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY
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atlafan · 3 years
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a/n: A couple of weeks ago I saw a post about ex’s to lovers, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So basically it’s a story about two people who ended things on a semi-good note, like nothing inherently bad happened between them, but they decided to break up. Sometimes people find their way back to each other, though. That’s what we have here. Harry is a tax attorney, a few years older than our MC, Blair Smith, who teaches jazzercise. (not proofread) PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU READ THIS AND LIKE IT, YALL WANTED ME TO KEEP POSTING FICS ON HERE, SO HERE YOU GO! PLEASE, IT TAKES TWO SECONDS! Check out my patreon for other excursive content.
Warnings: angst, fluff, smut (sub!Harry????), mentions of death, a funeral
Words: 17.8K
Pairing: Harry x OC (Blair Smith)
When Blair Smith became a Physical Education major in college, she never thought that would lead her to leasing a dance studio, and teaching jazzercise. It took her until she was twenty-five to really get it all together. She wasn’t mad about it, she actually enjoyed it more than she thought. She double minored in Dance and in Business Administration, she had never been so thankful to have overloaded herself in her life. She thought she would be teaching gym at the high school level, along with some health and nutrition classes, but when she did her practicum semester at a local high school near her college, she realized that working with younger students was not for her. None of them listened, none of them really wanted to be there, aside from the gym-class-heroes, and she couldn’t stand that the majority wouldn’t even change their clothes for class.
Blair wanted to make her own rules. Luckily, after presenting a well-thought-out business plan to her parents, she was able to get them to co-sign for a loan from the bank to lease a dance studio. She named her studio Just Dance because she offered different types and levels of jazzercise. Some involved use of weights, some involved a little more high intensity, and some involved a little yoga. She was grateful for the couple of marketing classes she took because she was able to really build her brand. She had an Instagram, Facebook Page, and a website. She had an online way to sign up for memberships, and she had daily drop-in prices.
It was easier than she thought to build her clientele. She had a great spot in the city, and there was a small parking lot out back behind the building. Most of her friends from school signed up, and helped her advertise. It was open to men and women, as opposed to a lot of jazzercise places that only offered classes to women. Even though Blair couldn’t afford to hire a second instructor, she was managing things just fine. She offered two early morning sessions, one lunch hour session, and three evening sessions. So, she had plenty of time to relax, stretch, and not over work her muscles. She was strategic about class offerings as well. She gave herself Sundays and Fridays off, since those seemed to be the days with the least amount of people signed up. Monday through Thursday, and Saturday, she made sure to stagger her lessons. For example, Mondays and Wednesdays were weights and yoga infused classes, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays were the high intensity days. Going into her fourth year doing this, she had it down to a science to say the least.
Business was always really good in January and February, when people were making their New Year’s resolutions, and during the summer months when people were trying to feel better about being in their bathing suits. Blair always preached positivity and inner health as the most important things. It was an inclusive space, which is exactly what she wanted it to be.
She liked working for herself. If she needed to run errands between classes, she could. If she wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day, she could. She didn’t have to answer to a single person. Her parents would sometimes ask questions, but mostly just to make sure Blair was making her loan payments on time. She had automatic withdrawals set up with the bank, so she didn’t even need to think about it. Yup, Blair had just about everything figured out, and she knew she was very lucky for that.
//
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Sullivan, we’ll get everything figured out for your son. Yes, he’s in very good hands with me. Alright, have a nice evening.” Harry hangs up his phone and sighs, rubbing at his temples to soothe the oncoming headache he could feel. It was another complicated trust fund case, but that was the job.
The Law Office of Styles and Associates was a tax attorney office. Harry specialized in cases that dealt with trusts, gifts, and various tax planning structures to reduce the burdens of income taxes and estate taxes, and he assisted in devising investment strategies. His undergraduate degree was in accounting, and he minored in pre-law. After that, he went to law school for three years and passed the bar. His father had been a tax attorney as well. Harry liked living the comfortable life he was able to live growing up thanks to his father, and he wanted the same for himself. Plus, he just enjoyed crunching numbers for people, so it was a win-win. Making nearly $150K a year wasn’t too shabby either.
“Hey, H, you ready to go?” John comes into Harry’s office.
“Yeah, just finished up for the day.” Harry stands up, puts his suit jacket back on, grabs his brief case, and heads out. “Kate, feel free to head home, I’m done for the day.” He tells his secretary on his way out.
“Thank you, Mr. Styles, have a nice weekend.” She smiles at him.
“Same to you.” He nods and keeps walking with John. “I feel terrible, she’s pregnant, you know? Her feet are the size of melons by the end of the day.”
“When’s her maternity leave start?” John asks as they enter the elevator.
“Not for a while, she’s only seven months along. She’s been trying to train some college intern to take her place while she’s gone, but no one’s as good as Kate.” Harry rolls her eyes. “Oh well, I’m happy for her. Her and husband have been trying to get pregnant for a while.”
Harry and John make their way to a bar downtown, one of their usual Friday evening spots. They usually met up with some of their other law-school buddies. It was also a great way to blow off steam from the week. Sometimes Harry would end up pulling a 60-hour week, so he thought he deserved to cut loose, and have a little fun with his friends. Maybe meet a pretty girl he could take back to her place and have a whole different kind of fun with her. Harry was a phenomenal attorney, but when it came to his personal life, well, if you looked up the definition of a playboy, his picture would be there. He fucked around, a lot, without a second thought. Actually, his only thought was to make sure he always had a condom. Harry never went bare back. The last thing he needed was someone claiming he was the father of their child, and suing him for child support. The only time he didn’t use a condom was when he was in a legitimate relationship a couple of years back.
He thought about her from time to time. He never met another girl like her, and there were times he really did miss her. The breakup wasn’t anything dramatic, the pair had just grown apart. Harry was in the process of taking over the practice for his father, and she…wasn’t quite ready to settle down. She wanted to work on her own career and make a name for herself. It hurt that she didn’t see him in her vision for the future, but he understood where she was coming from. She was a few years younger than him, and he didn’t want her to resent him for taking away her time to be young and have fun. So they ended it. Since her, he decided to have some fun himself with his friends.
//
Blair got the call right before her second morning class on Wednesday morning. She nearly collapsed on the floor in tears. Everyone rushed over to her. She had to cancel everything for the rest of the week, and her clients were more than understanding.
“How did it happen?” She asks her mother, Pam.
“He had a stroke, and…god, he just didn’t bounce back.” Pam uses a hankie to wipe her tears. “Most of everything should be all set, he was very specific, but…we’re going to need an attorney. Your father’s biggest fear is that his first wife would claim that she has a right to his pension, that she was promised money or something.”
“God, I hate her.” Blair grimaces. “All she’s ever cared about is making him miserable. She just wants money for her son. He’s not even Dad’s!”
“That’s why they got divorced! She cheated on him with his best friend and got knocked up. You can see how sticky this is going to get. I hate to ask, but…”
“I’ll go see him.” Blair sighs.
“I just think he might sympathize, maybe work the case pro bono. I’m not sure we could afford him otherwise.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mum, I’ll talk to him and figure it out. I’m not going to let Lora fuck everything up for you.”
//
Kate nearly choked on her water when she saw Blair walking towards her. She knew Harry had a meeting with a B. Smith. She should have known better.
“B-Blair, hi.” Kate says.
“Kate! Oh my goodness, you look incredible! You and Roger finally-“
“Yeah! I’m due in a couple more months.”
“That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you.” Blair smiles. “Um, I think I set up a meeting through an intern?”
“Yes.” Kate sighs. “I’m training her for when I go on maternity leave. Um, may I ask why you’re here to see Harry?”
“It’s strictly business. My…my father recently passed, and-“
“I’m so sorry.” Kate frowns. “He was always so nice.”
“Yeah, he was a good guy. Anyways, there’s a lot going on with his will and a trust he set up for my mom. Harry’s the only person I could think of when my mom said we’d need an attorney.”
“Of course.” Kate nods. “I’ll let him know you’re here.” Kate knocks on Harry’s door and opens it. “Mr. Styles?”
“Yes?”
“Your 2PM is here.”
“Ah, great.” Harry squints at his screen to check his calendar. “B. Smith? Why does that sound familiar?” He puckers his lips in thought.
“Um…it’s Blair.”
“Blair!” Harry stands up and bangs his knee in the process. “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming?!”
“I didn’t know! Maura answered when she called to set up the appointment.”
“Fuck.” Harry runs a hand through his hair. “How do I look? Is there anything in my teeth?”
“No, you’re fine. Just relax, I’m going to send her in.” Kate leaves his office and smiles at Blair. “He’s ready for you.”
“Thank you, Kate. We should catch up before the baby comes.”
“I’d like that. I miss going to your classes.”
Blair nods and goes into Harry’s office, closing the door behind her.
“Hi, Harry.”
“Hi.” He walks over to her, leaving about a foot of space between them. “To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you?” Her bottom lip trembles, and his smile fades. “What’s wrong?” He asks softly.
“M…my Dad died.” She says, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Oh, sweetheart.” He pulls her in for a hug so he can comfort her. “When’s the funeral? You know you could have just called me, you didn’t have to be so formal.”
“Actually, I did.” She sniffles and steps back from him. “I need an attorney, my mom and I do…only…we can’t really afford a good one.”
“Oh.” Harry nods. “Have a seat.” He gestures, and rounds his desk to sit back down in his own seat. “Is this about his ex-wife?”
“Unfortunately.” Blair rolls her eyes, and grabs a tissue off his desk. “My mom is scared she’s going to pull some fake paternity crap with her son, even though everyone knows he’s not my Dad’s. I think my mom just wants to be prepared for the inevitable shit storm Lora’s going to bring.”
“I don’t blame her.” Harry sighs and leans back in his chair. “I…haven’t taken a pro bono case yet this year. I could help that way.”
“Only if you really want to. I’m not asking for a handout, but I don’t trust anyone else to take care of me.” Blair blinks when she realizes what she’s said. “Us, I don’t trust anyone else to take care of us.”
“Right.” He leans forward. “I’d be happy to do it. Um, does your mom want to meet with me, or-“
“I think she’s sort of hoping I’ll take care of all the legal stuff. She’s grieving, you know?”
“So are you.” He frowns.
“You know me, I like to keep busy during these sorts of things. I can get a copy of the will, and the trust information over to you via email if that works, and then we can go from there?”
“Sure, yeah. My email’s still the same, um, and so is my phone number…”
“I still have your phone number.” She rolls her eyes.
“Then why didn’t you call me about this first? Why call and make an appointment?”
“I…I thought if I called…you’d think I was calling for something else.” She blushes. “I wanted you to know it was strictly business.”
“Blair, all you had to say was that your dad died. I could have been there for you. You live alone, all you do is work…your best friend is my cousin…do you and Riley even still talk?”
“Of course we do! Just because we broke up doesn’t mean that she and I did. I met you because of her, I was her friend first. It would be really shitty to stop talking to her because it didn’t work out with you.”
“Okay, Christ, calm down.” He shakes his head. “You’re as hot headed as ever, you know that?”
“I’m sorry, my father just died and I’m trying to keep it together!” Her eyes rim with tears again. “He’s never going to be able to walk down the aisle when I get married, he’s never going to meet his grandchildren, there are so many things…he was too young.” She sniffles.
“How did it happen?”
“He had a stroke, and didn’t recover.” She looks away.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I appreciate that, but that’s not going to being him back, so don’t be sorry. Just…help me with this.”
“I will, there’s no question about it.”
“Thank you, Harry.” She stands up. “I’ll email you.”
“Blair.” Harry stands up. “Look, if you need anything else, don’t be afraid to ask. If you need a friend…I’m here for you.”
“I have plenty of friends.” She sighs. “And no offense, but my friends don’t fuck a ton of women weekend after weekend and treat them like shit.” She smirks.
“I don’t do that.” His face flushes. “I just haven’t met someone I’ve really wanted to continue seeing, that’s all.”
“Harry.” Blair shakes her head as she chuckles. “Not that I ask, but Riley’s told me a few things. You two are close, and when she gets drunk she loves regaling me of your many escapades.”
“I’ll have to send her a very strongly worded text after you leave.” He rolls his eyes.
“Don’t get mad at her, it’s fine. I don’t really care.”
“You don’t?”
“No, why would I? It’s not me you’re fucking, so it doesn’t concern me.” She shrugs. “That’s the beauty of breaking up, Har, I don’t give a shit where you stick your dick at night.”
“Well, obviously you do if you won’t even let me be a friend to you, Blair.”
“I just…I don’t want us getting close again, alright? It’ll hurt when we end up parting way, and I don’t wanna go through that while also grieving my Dad. Can you understand that?”
“Yeah.” He nods. “Don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted out.” He smiles at her.
“Thank you. I need to go. I told my mom I’d be over to help her pack some things up. She sort of just wants to rip the band aid and put his clothes away.”
“If you need any help at all with any heavy lifting, call me.”
“Harry.” Blair sighs.
“I’ve got that nice SUV, I can help move stuff, that’s all I’m saying.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll talk to you soon.” She says, and out the door she goes. Kate waits a moment before coming into Harry’s office.
“Scotch?” Kate asks.
“Scotch.” Harry nods, and Kate goes over to his credenza to take out his good crystal and liquor to pour him a small glass.
“You’ll get through this.” She lifts her water bottle to cheers with him, and he downs the brown liquid.
//
Blair was back at work the following week. She needed the distraction. Lora had been eerily quiet. Maybe she didn’t know that Blair’s father passed, but as soon as the obituary hit the papers, she was sure that witch would be out and about to cause some trouble. At the end of Blair’s last Thursday class, she heard the sound of dress shoes on the hard wood. She turns to see Harry.
“You know there’s not supposed to be outside shoes in here. I just mopped.” She puts her hands on her hips and huffs at him.
“Yeah, I’m well aware of the rules. I used to be your best customer, remember?” He smirks. “Anyways, I looked over all the documents, I thought you might like to go over everything with me before the funeral, in case she shows up to cause trouble, you’ll have all the facts.”
“I need to, like, go home and shower…today was an intensive day, I’m soaked.”
“Perfect, I’ve got dinner in the car. We can go there, eat, and go over the documents.” He smiles.
“You’re such a weasel.” She chuckles. “But I’m too tired to argue with you. What did you pick up to eat?” She raises an eyebrow at him.
“Nothing special.” He shrugs. “Just some dumpling curry from that Thai place we both like.”
“I take it back you’re not a weasel, you’re the devil.”
Harry drives over to Blair’s apartment. He didn’t have a key anymore so he had to wait for her. He follows her up to her apartment, and makes himself at home while she goes to take a shower. She hadn’t changed much, but he definitely noticed some different pictures on her bookshelves. They used to be littered with framed photos of them, and she had a ton of scrapbooks for the two of them, but those seemed to be missing now as well. He sighs while he plates up the food for the both of them, and opens up a bottle of wine while he waits. Blair comes out about ten minutes later with her hair wrapped up in a towel, and her long, plush, pink robe around her body. She sits down next to him at the island.
“Wine?” She questions, but picks up the glass to take a sip.
“It’s been a long day, to be honest with you. I’m gonna work from home to catch up on some sleep tomorrow since I don’t have any meetings.”
“You know I have Fridays off, we could have done this tomorrow.” She frowns.
“It’s okay, I figured you’d want everything now. The funeral’s Saturday, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Eat up, and then we can look at everything.”
“We can do both at the same time.”
“Does your nose still run like a leaky faucet when you eat spicy food?” He smirks, and she rolls her eyes. “That’s what I thought.”
“Thank you for picking this up.” She says as she takes a bite. “I haven’t had this in forever.”
“Me neither…I stopped going because I didn’t want to run into you there.”
“That’s why I stopped going. We should have divided up restaurants when we broke up.” She laughs, and takes another sip of wine. “Do you mind if I dry my hair when we’re done eating? I’ll get a-“
“You’ll get a headache if you don’t, I know the drill.” He takes a sip of his own wine, and eats a spoonful of rice.
“Stop remembering things about me.” She swats a hand at him.
“We were together for long enough, Blair, I can’t help it.”
“Yeah, well, quit throwing it in my face, okay? We’re not doing this to go for a stroll down memory lane.”
Harry knew he’d be waiting at least twenty minutes while Blair dried her hair. He walks around her living room, stretching his legs a bit. He was curious to see what she had filled her bookshelves with. There was a picture of her and Riley from their freshman year of college. Harry picks it up and smiles. Harry was in his first year of law-school when Riley and Blair were college freshmen. He didn’t meet Blair formally until their senior year, and he was in his first year working at his father’s firm. He was helping Riley move in after winter break, and Blair had already been there.
“Blair!” Riley exclaimed. “I missed you so much.” She threw her arms around her.
“I missed you too! I’m glad we both agreed to come back a week early.”
“Same here. This is my cousin, Harry. Harry, this is Blair.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Harry shook Blair’s hand.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” Her mouth had run dry. They held eye contact for a beat too long. “You’re in law school, right?”
“I finished last year, I’m actually working now. I’m a tax attorney.” He explains. “It’s my dad’s business.”
“And it’s super boring.” Riley rolled her eyes. “Har, could you bring everything in for me? I have a meeting with my advisor that I need to get to. We’re going over my practicum stuff.”
“Sure thing. We’re still getting dinner later, right?”
“Mhm, I shouldn’t be too long. Blair, you don’t mind if Harry hangs here for a bit, do you? You’re also welcome to come to dinner with us.”
“Sure, I don’t have a problem with it.” She shrugged.
“You’re the best. See you in a little while!”
“Is there a lot of stuff? I can help.” Blair said to Harry.
“Not a lot, no. But…I’ve never been here before, so if you could just show me upstairs, that would be great.”
“Yeah.” She nodded.
Harry brought Riley’s suitcase in, and Blair led him upstairs. She showed him Riley’s room.
“Is yours similar?” He asked.
“My room? Um, no…it’s a little different.” She swallowed. “Do you wanna see?”
“I’d love to.” He grinned, and followed her down the hall to her room. “Riley’s told me a lot about you over the years, but she failed to mention how insanely gorgeous you are.” He leaned against her wall after she closed her door.
“Well, she failed to mention how hot her cousin is, but I suppose that would be a weird thing to say about a family member.” She smirked. “How old are you, exactly?’
“I’m about to turn twenty-six, what about you?”
“I’m almost twenty-two…in May.”
“Not a huge age difference.” He walked towards her.
“Not at all.” She looked up at him with big eyes.
“Want me to kiss you?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, all done.” Blair says, coming out with her all dry and pretty. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing, just saw this old picture of you and Riley.”
“God, we were babies then.” Blair smiles at the photo. “We took that on the day we met at orientation.” She looks at him. “Wanna sit on the couch?”
“Sure.” Harry grabs his briefcase and takes out all of the documents he needed to go over with Blair. “So, as you can see, your father set up a trust for you that you’ll get access to a year after his passing. That’s pretty standard. Your mother has a different sum of money that she’ll be able to access much sooner. There’s absolutely nothing in his will about Lora or her son. Even if she tries to contest it, there’s nothing in here that would indicate he was hiding anything. I looked over their divorce settlement as well, she stopped getting alimony when she remarried. She literally has no case. You and your mum can take a breather.”
“Oh, what a relief! Thank you, Harry. She’ll be able to let herself relax for the first time in a while.”
“Are you going to take any more time off from work?”
“Well, I’m closed Saturday, and I’m off Sunday, and I’m closed Monday as well. Then I’ll be back to it Tuesday.”
“You’re only giving yourself a long weekend?” He frowns.
“Harry, I can’t afford to keep closing. I make enough with the memberships, but I won’t be making the extra I do from the walk-ins.”
“Look, if you need some money-“
“Don’t you dare.” She stands up. “I don’t want your money, Harry, I never have, and I never will. I’m not your goddamn sugar baby!”
“I never said you were!” He says, standing up.
“But you used to make me feel like that all the time! You were always paying for every little thing. You never let me pay for a single thing. It was like you had zero confidence in me, even though I was running a successful business!”
“You were just starting out! All I wanted to do was help you, make it a little easier for you. You’re the one that went to their parents for loan help when I would have done it in a heartbeat! You crushed me.”
“We weren’t even living together, and you were ready to drop that amount of money on me?! That would have been so weird!”
“We were both working odd hours, and we had only been together a few months at that point, moving in would have been weird! A loan is totally different, I would have been investing in something great.”
“Well, I didn’t need your investment! We were together for nearly three years, Harry, what’s your excuse for not living together after all that time, hm?”
“I would have felt guilty. I was never home, I didn’t want you waiting up for me. It was easier when I could just come here and crawl into bed with you after a long day. And you always had to get up so much earlier than me. I thought…I thought it was better that we weren’t living together. You had never lived alone before, I wanted you to enjoy the freedom.”
“Was that it, or did you just want to keep your own?” She huffs, crossing her arms. “You know what, this fight is useless, it doesn’t matter because it’s not going to solve a single fucking thing. Thank you for your help, I really do appreciate it, but now that I know everything’s fine, you can go. If I need anything else from you down the line, I’ll reach out. I’m sure Lora will make a stink, and therefore I’ll need an attorney. But it’s all professional, Harry.”
“You’ve made that plenty clear already, thanks.” Harry packs up his things, and Blair walks him to the door. They look at each other. He just sighs and heads out the door.
Blair would be lying if she said that she didn’t miss Harry. They had a really special bond that was hard to find with just any one. All they did that first day they met was kiss, have a passionate make out, but that was it. Blair didn’t want to go too far with him in case Riley wasn’t comfortable with it. But Riley was overjoyed when Harry asked if she would mind if he asked Blair out on a date. It was a whirlwind from there.
He took her on some of the nicest dates she had ever been on. Most guys would take her out for coffee, maybe a movie if they could scrape the money together, but Harry took Blair out to nice restaurants, and to the movies that had lux levels. Not to mention his condo, god, she loved his condo. He liked that she kept things simple. Crockpot dinners at her place, watching TV curled up in her little full-sized bed, and clipping coupons together on Sunday mornings. That was where they had sex for the first time, in her little bed after their fifth date. He told her he loved her for the first time on the top of a Farris Wheel during the spring carnival her campus held, and she wasted no time saying it back. After that, a deeper trust formed between the two of them. One that not a lot of people would understand. Harry didn’t quite understand it himself since he was usually the one who was a little more dominant in bed, but with Blair…well, needless to say after a long week of working cases, his favorite thing was to come home, find her in his bedroom with some lingerie on, and letting her tie him to the bed posts for a little while. It was a release he didn’t even really know he needed. And with her, having been a college student about ready to graduate and enter the real world, it felt like so many things were out of control. Harry gave her that control back.
Harry wonders if that’s why they breakup seemed so much harder on him than her. It seemed like Blair was able to let go so easily. Yes, he started fucking around afterwards, but he just couldn’t get that same high from anyone else, nor did he trust some random girl at a bar to do the things for him that Blair once did. Blair was just better at hiding her emotions. She missed Harry, she’s missed him for a long time now. She cried for weeks, feeling this undeniable ache in her heart without him around. But, she had her studio to throw herself into, a brand to keep building. It was the perfect distraction, and even though she missed Harry, she didn’t hate being single for the first time in a while. For three years, Harry had been like her security blanket. The way she looked at it, every kid eventually stops sleeping with their security blanket at some point. It was time to be independent.  
//
The funeral was a graveside service. It was cloudy, but there wasn’t rain, which was probably the only upside Blair could think of. She was there, sitting next to her mother, other family members in the row behind them. Her mother was holding Blair’s hand, but this is one the few times Blair wished someone was there for her. Just as the service was about to get started, someone sat down next to her. She looks to her right and sees Harry, dressed in black from head to toe. He doesn’t say anything, he just puts his arm around her, and rubs his shoulder. He gives Blair’s mom a soft smile before sitting back in his seat.
“Harry…you weren’t supposed to come until afterwards…” Blair says.
“I know.” He looks at her. “I just wanted to be here for you.”
Harry gave Blair his extra tissues while she cried during the service. He held her the entire time, and stayed back once it was over. Then, he offered to drive Blair and Pam back to Pam’s home. Neither of them were in any condition to drive. There were a lot of people that came back to the house afterwards. Blair was able to calm down a bit, but her mother was really taking it hard.
“We don’t have to do this today.” Harry says to Blair.
“No, we should just rip the band aid. Then she can just…” Blair’s eyes widen when she sees Lora walk through the door. “Oh, you miserable cunt.” She says.
“What?” Harry asks, confused.
“Not you, Lora’s here.” Blair storms over to her. “What are you doing here?”
“Nice to see you too.” Lora smiles. “I’m here to grieve the loss of my first husband.”
“You weren’t at the funeral.”
“I didn’t want to upset anyone.” Lora shrugs. “So…have you read the will yet? I think I should be in on that.”
“Lora.” Pam says when she walks over. “Alright, let’s get this over with.” Pam sighs, and has everyone follow her down the hall to the guest bedroom. Harry takes out the paperwork.
“There’s been-“ He starts, but he’s cut off.
“I’m sorry, but how is it legal if her boyfriend is reading the will?” Lora asks.
“We’re not together anymore. We haven’t been for a while. He’s here as our attorney, that’s it.” Blair says.
“Anyways, been a trust set up for Blair a little down the road. Everything else, including the house, has been left to Pamela Smith. There is no mention of anyone else’s name.”
“That can’t be right.” Lora scoffs. “I was promised-“
“He would have never left you anything.” Pam says. “And I’m sick of dealing with you. He’s gone, he’s left you nothing, you have no ties to us now. It’s clear as day that Derek is not his. He owed you absolutely nothing, you gold digging bitch.” Pam steps closer to Lora. “Now, get out of my house before I have you removed. I buried my husband today, I am in no mood to be fucked with.”
“Fine.” Lora says, turns on her heel and leaves.
“Way to go, Mum.” Blair gives her a high five. “I thought she’d put up more of a fight than that.”
“With your father maybe, but not with me. I’ve ripped her cheap extensions out more than once, and she knows I’ll do it again.” She takes take a deep breath. “I think I’m about ready to be done for the day. I need to lay down.”
“Do you want me to stay tonight?” Blair asks her.
“No, honey, thank you. Auntie Fay is staying, I’ll be alright.” She looks at Harry. “Harry, I can’t thank you enough for helping with all of this.”
“Don’t mention it. If there’s anything else I can do, anything at all, don’t be afraid to ask.”
“Drive Blair home.”
“Mum.”
Pam raises her hands in defense and leaves the room.
“I can drive you back if you want. I took an uber out here as it was.” Harry says, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“You’ve done enough for me today, it’s alright…I can make it back on my own. Riley’s flying back in from Chicago tomorrow and we’re gonna have a girl’s day, so-“
“Blair, I still have your keys in my pocket, I’m driving you.”
“I don’t need you to swoop in here and act like superman, Harry.” Her bottom lip trembles. “I know my dad’s not around to do it anymore, but-“
“Hey.” He takes her in his arms. “I wish I could take it all away, I really do. I wish you weren’t going through all of this, baby.”
“Harry.” She sighs heavily into his chest.
“Sorry.” He rests his chin on the top of her head. “Some habits are hard to break I guess.”
“Have you called anyone else baby in the last year?” She nuzzles in close to him.
“No.” He tilts her chin up to look at him. “I never could.”
“Okay, you can drive me home.” She sighs. “I’m about ready to pass out as it is.”
Blair takes a few minutes to say goodbye to the people still at the house before her and Harry get into her car. He keeps the music volume low, and her eyes start to droop. Harry can’t help but feel soft and warm knowing she was so easily able to fall asleep with him there still. She’d always fall asleep on long car rides.
“Blair.” Harry says, trying to wake her up. “We’re at your place, love.” She groans at him, and he sighs. “Are you really going to make me carry you up?” She groans again and he rolls his eyes. Blair would always pretend to be asleep so Harry would carry her inside. He unbuckles her, gets out, and opens her door to lift her out. “You’re killing me.” He grunts as he carries her to the front door. He keys in, and carries her up the stairs to her door. “I know you’re awake.” He says as he brings her to her bedroom.
“Mm, but you’re so strong and warm.” She mumbles.
“Okay.” He chuckles and lays her on her bed. “Are your pj’s still in the third drawer of your dresser.”
“Harry.” She sits up. “You don’t have to do all that…”
“I was just gonna grab you a shirt and get out of your hair.” He says innocently.
“God, I’m so confused.” She pinches the bridge of her nose.
“About what?” He grabs a bed shirt for her, and sits on the edge of her bed.
“I think I’m just feeling vulnerable, I don’t know.” She looks away from him. “I don’t want you to go.” She mutters, and then looks at him. “But I also don’t want to get your hopes up.”
“If you need me to stay as a friend, I can do that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’d never leave you like this.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I was just gonna pretend to leave, and then crash on your couch.”
“Well, you don’t have to do that. Got a queen sized bed now, plenty of room.”
“I can see that.” He smiles. “There was nothing wrong with your old bed. It was kinda fun when we were practically sleeping on top of each other.”
“Yeah, but your bed was better for…well…never mind.” She clears her throat. “Um, I still have some of your old pajama pants in my drawer, you can wear those if you want.”
“I’m good with just boxers if that’s alright with you.”
“Oh, um sure.” She gets off the bed to stand up. “I’m just gonna go wash up and change.”
Harry nods and gets undressed. He goes over to her bathroom door to wait his turn. Blair’s eyes widen when she sees him standing there in his underwear.
“You don’t have a spare toothbrush, do you?”
“Um, you can use one of the extra heads I have for my electric brush.”
“Thanks.” He steps into the bathroom as she leaves to go back to her bedroom.
“Oh my god.” She says to herself. He had beefed up a bit. Harry was already sort of beefy, but he used to be leaner. Had he been getting a lot of protein? She shakes her head as she crawls into bed. Harry comes in shortly after and gets in on the other side. She turns her head to look at him. “Thank you, Harry.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” He looks at her. “I’d be a pretty shitty person to leave you in a time like this.”
“Yeah, but you could be catching tail at some bar with your friends.” She smirks at him.
“You make me sound like I’m promiscuous or something.” He chuckles and turns fully on his side towards her. She does the same. “It’s a stress reliever, and I always wrap it up. M’not doing anything wrong.”
“Do you, um, do what we used to do with any of these hookups?”
“No.” He smirks. “No, I don’t think I could ever trust someone in that way again even if I tried.” He chews his bottom lip. “What about you?”
“Harry, to be honest with you…I haven’t slept with anyone since we broke up.”
“Blair, that was a year ago.”
“I’m well aware.” She rolls her eyes.
“That’s a long fucking dry spell.”
“It’s not a dry spell, it’s a personal choice. I threw myself into the studio, I worked on choreographing a ton of new dances. I was building my brand, bringing in more clientele. Plus…anytime I’d use a dating app or go out with Riley to a bar…no one was ever you.”
“I know things seemed mutual and we didn’t end in some big blow up…but I was so hurt that we couldn’t make things work.” He reaches to tuck some hair behind her ear. “I thought we were going to be together forever.”
“So did I…but I don’t know if I was ready for something so long-term yet, which I know sounds stupid because three years is a long time to be with someone.”
“It’s not stupid. I would have felt the same at that age. It was sort of selfish of me to try to lock you down the way I was.”
“You weren’t being selfish for wanting to be with me, Harry.”
“You know, the last thing I expected when I helped Riley move in that semester was falling in love with her roommate. You just looked so cute that day.”
“You remember how I looked when we first met?”
“How could I forget? You were wearing these sweater leggings that had snow flakes on them, and you were wearing this oversized sweater that was hanging off your shoulder, and you kept trying to tug it back on. You seemed so flustered around me.”
“I was.” She laughs. “I thought for sure you just wanted to fuck me and then leave with the way you pushed me up against the wall when you kissed me.”
“Yeah, you nearly shit yourself at dinner afterwards. Poor Riley had no idea I frenched you for a solid thirty minutes.”
“My lips were so swollen, she had to have known. I was more in shock when you came by a week later to ask me out. God, you were so cute, you were waiting outside my apartment with hot apple cider, and I had such a shit day at my practicum. I was in dingy sweats too, and you still told me I looked beautiful.”
“And I meant it.”
“Then you said I looked tired, and right before I went off on you, you pulled me inside and said that you were going to make me dinner so I could go upstairs and take a long hot shower.”
“Mhm, made you spaghetti and meatballs.”
“And that really yummy homemade garlic bread.” She smiles.
“Then we cuddled up and watched Ratatouille.” He chuckles.
“I was so mad that you had never seen it! And then you ended up loving it.”
“It’s a great movie, honestly.” He says, smiling at her. “Best first date ever.”
“Yeah, it was. When I went to sleep that night I couldn’t believe that a real man wanted to be with me. I don’t think any of the guys I dated in college knew how to cook.”
“Pretty sure I did a good job making you forget about any other guy you had ever been with.” He smirks, and she nudges his shoulder.
“Maybe…maybe when I’m in a better mindset…we could talk about…I mean…I’ve been thinking about you a lot ever since we started talking again, sorry, I’m rambling.” She sighs. “I don’t want you to think that I wanna give things another shot because you’ve been helping me and my mom, but it’s been hard not to think about it…especially after today.” She blinks away a few tears. “I wasn’t expecting you to come to the service. Riley felt awful that she couldn’t be there, and I felt so alone, even being with my mom. You’re so selfless.” She pouts at him.
“I would love to talk about potentially getting back together. I…I don’t think I realized how much I missed you until you walked into my office. I thought I was out having the time of my life, but I wasn’t. Nobody could ever compare to you.”
“I think I just need some time to make sure I’m not…I’m not just feeling this way because you’re being so sweet to me when no one else is.”
“Take all the time you need.” He strokes her cheek. “M’gonna turn over now. If you just so happen to feel like spooning me, I promise not to question it.”
“Please, snuggling sounds like the perfect medicine after today. Assume the position, Styles.”
He chuckles and rolls onto his other side. Blair slots a leg between his, and wraps her arm around his stomach. They both sigh, and wiggle closer to one another. Blair hadn’t felt peace like this in quite some time, and neither had Harry.
//
Blair woke up in a fog the next morning. Her eyes still felt puffy and swollen from crying, and even though the clock read 10AM, she felt like she could stay in bed for at least two more hours. She remembers Harry staying and falling asleep with her, but he wasn’t there next to her now. Where he laid was still warm, so he couldn’t have left too long ago. When she smells coffee, she wakes up a bit more. There was a coffee cup from Dunkin’ on her side table, along with a small bag that she knew had to be a coffee cake muffin. She sits up and sees a note next to the casual breakfast.
Had to rush off to the office this morning. Got a call that one of my major clients passed, and his family is already fighting over the money. Had to time to run out and get you brekkie though! I’ll call you later. – H
Blair pouts at the note, and takes a sip of her coffee, which had cooled down just enough for her to sip it without burning her tongue. She texts Harry a quick “thank you” before diving into her muffin. This was his signature “sorry for not being there when you wake up” breakfast treat. There had been many mornings Blair had woken up alone after spending the night with him. It wasn’t because Harry liked scooting out, he just usually got pulled away due to something work related, and he knew that Blair liked being able to sleep in when she could on the weekends, especially when she was still in school. She never minded because she knew he was busy. She used to just lounge around for an hour or so in his large bed before getting up and making it. Then she’d take an indulgent bath in his Jacuzzi-tub. He’d usually get back to her sometime in the afternoon, and they would snuggle up to watch a movie before he brought her back to her apartment. It worked for them.
There were plenty of times Blair had to scoot early as well. When she was doing her practicum, she needed to be at the high school no later than 7AM, which sucked because at the time she was a major night owl. It’s taken her years of discipline to get herself to fall asleep at a reasonable time so she wouldn’t be so groggy and grumpy in the morning. That was something that Harry helped with as well. He told her about this sleepy time playlist on Spotify that he would listen to on the nights he needed to go to bed early. Blair had told him she couldn’t afford the premium membership and she didn’t want to be jolted awake by ads. So what did Harry do? He bought the subscription plan that allowed for two people to be on it, helped her shift her account, and even though she protested, he insisted. The music sounded like something a masseuse would put on, and it always put her right to sleep. Harry was a genius, at least Blair thought so.
“How do you always have an answer for everything?” She had cried to him on a particularly stressful evening. It was after she graduated, and she had just gotten her business up and running. She felt overwhelmed and scared. “You always stay so calm, it’s like you don’t even care!”
“I just know that this’ll pass, baby. You just graduated from college, you’re going through a major life change. You’ve had the same routine all your life, and now it’s completely different. In a few months things won’t feel as scary.” He smiled at her, and wrapped his arms around her mid-section. “Went through the same thing myself not too long ago. I promise, it gets a lot better. Your early twenties fucking suck.”
“Yeah? How are things looking in the world of mid to late twenties?” She pouted up at him.
“Well,” he moved some hair away from her face, “I’ve got an incredible girlfriend who loves me, and I just so happen to love her, and I’m feeling settled in mt job, and I have a great place to live, and oh! Finally stopped having stress dreams about missing a big exam. Can’t complain too much.”
“I…I’m gonna be really busy at the studio. I have to choreograph all these dances, and start advertising, and-“
“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” He tugged her along down the hall to his home office.
“Harry, I’m not in the mood to fuck in your office…” She said, and Harry chuckled.
“As much as I love it when you let me bend you over my desk, that’s not what this is about.” He took her inside and took out a few sheets of blank paper and some pens. He sat down and pulled her into her lap. “Alright, this used to help me all the time when I was super stressed, still does, actually.” She watched as he drew three large circles, and wrote CHOREOGRAPHY in one, SOCIAL MEDIA, in another, and BUDGET
in the last. “Alright, so these are some rather large cookies, wouldn’t you say?” He looked up at her, and she looked down at him and nodded. “Okay, so what are some ways we can take little bites out of these?”
“Like a checklist for each?”
“Sort of, yeah.” He drew a few stems from each circle. “Almost like a backwards flow chart.”
“Is this what you do with your clients when they ask for financial advice?”
“Sometimes.” He nodded. “But more importantly, I want to help my girlfriend who is insanely frazzled. I hate when people try to be problem solvers…so hope you don’t think that’s what I’m trying to do…”
“No.” She shook her head. “This is great. I think if I have it all laid out in front of me…and can check certain things off…take smaller bites, like you said, I can handle things better.” She grabbed a pen and started writing, and making more stems, color coding a few of them. “My parents are gonna help cover the loan payments for the first year so I can save up, and start paying off my student loans.” She chewed her bottom lip. “And I can set aside some time in the mornings to do the social media stuff, and use the afternoons for choreography…evenings I can work on my website.”
“Just think of how sweet it’ll all taste by the time you finish.” He smiled up at her, and she leaned in to peck his lips.
“I love you, Harry, thank you.”
“I love you too, baby.” He kissed her again, ever so tenderly and soft. “Don’t let this stuff build up, you know you can talk to me about anything.”
“I just feel like my problems are so trivial, like, there are people that are starving, and I’m crying about being overwhelmed.”
“Your feelings are valid, don’t compare it to what someone else might be going through.”
“Do you think, um, could you just hold me for a bit?” It was so rare for Blair to be this vulnerable. Usually she was the one to hold Harry, but once in a while she just really needed him.
“Of course.” He shifted in his seat to cradle her to his chest. He was so warm and inviting, he always made Blair feel safe.
Blair sighs, and shakes herself from the memory. She couldn’t bask in the good times and act as if there weren’t also bad times. Although…there really weren’t that many bad times. She finishes up her muffin and gets out of bed. She grimaced when she saw herself in her bathroom mirror, and decided a long, hot shower would do her some good. She didn’t have the energy to wash her hair, so she grabs a scrunchie to put it up in a bun on the top of her head. As the warm water cascades over her body, she can’t help but continue to let her mind wander to other old memories.
“Harry! I told you I’d be five minutes.” Blair whispered to Harry as he entered the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and smirked. “Riley’s home! Just down the hall sleeping.” Harry pulled back the shower door, and walked into it with her. All he did was put a finger up to his lips.
“Then we’ll need to be quiet.” He whispered to her, ghosting his lips over hers.
“I…I’ve never had sex in the shower before. I always heard it wasn’t as cracked up as it looks in the movies.”
“That’s because people try too hard to do it full on.” He stepped into the water, getting his hair wet, and then moves her so she’s pressed up against the wall. He knelt in front of her, and looked up at her wet body. “Can I make you feel good, baby?”
“Y-yes.”
He grinned, and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder.
“Now, you need to stay quiet.” He pressed his lips to one of her hip bones, and kissed across her pelvis. “So, if it gets to be too much, just suck on your fingers or something, pull my hair, whatever you need to do.” She watched as his eyes darkened when he licked over her clit. His tongue moved to her slit and licked up. He moaned, letting his eyes flutter closed before looking back up at her. “You have no idea how fucking good you taste.”
“Blair!” Riley exclaims as she comes into the apartment. Blair’s taken from her thoughts just as she was whimpering out Harry’s name.
“I’m in the shower!” Blair yells back, and finishes cleaning herself up. She meets Riley out in the living room once she’s thrown some sweats on. “Hi.”
“Oh, god, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there.” Riley wraps her arms around her friend.
“You couldn’t have known.” Blair hugs her back. “A month in Chicago, I can’t wait to hear all about it.” They let go of each other.
“Are you sure you wanna talk about all that?”
“Yeah, I need the distraction.”
“Alright. I brought coffee and doughnuts.” Riley smiles.
“Thank you, but I might save that for later. I had coffee and a muffin earlier…um, Harry spent the night last night.” Blair blushes as they both move to sit on the couch.
“Holy shit! Pleas don’t tell me you called him for a booty call.” Riley frowns.
“No, it was nothing like that. I told you he was helping with all of the legal stuff…he ended up coming to the funeral unannounced. He was there for me…he drove me home and I asked him to stay. We just slept, and he was gone before I woke up because of a work thing.”
“Ah, and he brought you the old comfort breakfast to make up for it.” Riley shakes her head. “Well, I’m glad he was there for you. I always hoped you would become friends at some point after you broke up.”
“I don’t think I realized how much I missed him. I’ve been so independent for the last year, it felt kind of nice to lean on him for a change.”
“Do you think you wanna get back together?”
“I don’t know…I was definitely feeling something yesterday, even this morning, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m just sad and vulnerable, or if it’s because I really wanna give it a second go. I don’t really know what would be different this time. He still works crazy hours, and-“
“He’s dialed back a lot.” Riley cuts him off. “Ever since he’s taken over, and once he really got settled into it, he hasn’t been working himself to the bone like he was. Are there still some sixty-hour weeks? Sometimes, but not like he was, I swear.”
“He didn’t seem to think we still spoke…so that made me think you weren’t as close with him…”
“I don’t hang out with him as much…I speak with his friend John quite a bit, though.” Riley blushes.
“Speak to or fuck?” Blair smirks.
“Don’t. If Harry knew I was messing around with one of his boys, god, I don’t even wanna think about it.”
“Oh, so he can go out with your friend, but you can’t go out with his?”
“John and I aren’t going out. We just…meet up to fuck sometimes, but we both still hookup with other people. I mean, I’m sure he slept with his share of people while I was away.”
“Did you?”
“There were a couple of people I let take me back to my hotel, yeah.” Riley nods. “Don’t say anything to Harry, okay?”
“Christ, I’m not his best friend all of a sudden. I think I was just emotional last night. I doubt we’ll even-“
There’s a jingle of keys, and then Harry’s entering the apartment. He freezes when he sees Riley.
“Hey! You’re back.” He smiles at his cousin. “How was Chicago?”
“Windy.” Riley says. “But fun, I made a ton of sales.”
“That’s great.” Harry sets the keys on the kitchen counter and then comes further into the living area. “How are you this morning?” He asks Blair.
“I’m okay, um, thanks for breakfast.”
“Yeah, of course, sorry I had to skip out. Uh, I just came back to see how you were, but I can see your girl’s day has started, so I’ll head out.”
“You can stay, Har, we were just gonna paint our nails, nothing you haven’t done with us before.” Riley says. “You don’t mind, right, Blair?”
“S-sure, you can stay, Harry…if you want to.”
“I’d love to stay.” He comes over and sits down on Blair’s other side. “Nothing like giving you a Styles sandwich to make you feel better.” He smirks. “Alright, Riles, what colors did you bring?”
The three ended up having a great day together. It felt like old times. They painted their nails, ordered Chinese, and watched Mystic Pizza. Riley was starting to get tired, so she left around six. The jet lag was catching up with her. So it was just Harry and Blair sitting on the couch watching Wall-E.
“Do you remember the first time we watched this?” Harry asks her a few minutes in.
“Mhm.” Blair smiles without looking at him. “It was that weekend we went away Hampton Beach, and it rained in the evening, so instead of being annoyed, we got all cozy and watched this.”
“After…” He looks at her, a smirk growing on his face.
“Harry.” She rolls her eyes.
“Come on, what did we do just before settling in to watch this adorable film?”
Blair sighs, but gives in, “We made hot fudge sundaes, and, um, I let you lay me on the counter and lick chocolate sauce and whipped cream off my body.” She swallows. “Then I did the same to you. We made a mess of the Air BnB.”
“We cleaned it up. Then we got into that big, comfy bed and just vegged out. Think this is one of my favorite Pixar films that you showed me.”
“You really liked Cars too.” Blair chuckles.
“Yeah, I did. That was a good one.” Harry leans back on the couch, crossing his arms behind his head.
“You don’t need to do this, you know?”
“Do what, love?” He says without looking at her, eyes focused on the screen.
“Babysit me.” She mutters.
“S’not what I’m doing.” He scoffs. “I’m enjoying spending time with you, Blair.” He looks at her. “And I’m worried about you, but I’m not babysitting you.” He puts his hand on her knee and gives it a squeeze before taking it away. “Just relax, yeah?”
“Thanks.” She pauses for a moment. “Harry…would you be taking care of me like this if you had a new girlfriend?” Her eyes start to well up with tears. “Because-“
“Why are you asking a what if like that?” He reaches to wipe her tears with his thumbs. “At the risk of sounding totally lame…I was sort of just waiting on you. Sort of hoping you’d wanna get back together at some point. I tried dating, but it’s like I told you…no one was ever you.”
“So you just kept fucking strangers?” She was so confused.
“It was all meaningless. I figured if you were out there living your life, then I should do the same.” He shrugs.
“Harry, I know you think we broke up because you thought I needed time to be young or whatever, but I wasn’t out there fucking a ton of different people. I just…I don’t know, I wanted to be on my own.”
“And I understood that, as much as it upset me. What was I going to do, beg you to stay my girlfriend?” He moves a bit closer to her. “If we were to get back together, what would you want to be different? Obviously things stopped working…”
“It’s not that they stopped working, I just…I think I just grew up a little bit. You gave me plenty of room for it, but I just sort of realized that there were other things I wanted to do and I didn’t wanna be totally tied down. If we were to get back together, I wouldn’t want you paying for things all the time, or thinking you need to fix all of my problems. Sometimes I just want someone to listen without making suggestions, you know?”
“I didn’t even realize I was doing that.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I know you always meant well, and you were just trying to help in your own way.” She gives him a reassuring smile. “It didn’t always bother me, but sometimes it did. I wasn’t perfect either, I know how closed off I could get.” She furrows her brows. “I’ve been trying to work on that. I added the yoga into my routines…so that’s been helping. You sort of inspired that.”
“I should start my membership back up.”
“Yeah…it would be nice to see you in class again.”
“Remember when I started coming on Tuesday evenings, and then we’d go to the Thai place for dinner afterwards?”
“Mhm, and then you’d take us back to your place, and set up a bath for us.” She sighs dreamily. “And then you’d massage my calves for me, ugh, I always loved that.”
“Couldn’t have my baby being sore the next morning, could I?” He pouts playfully at her, and she giggles.
“You were always so good to me.” Her face was only a few inches from his now.
“Fucking worshiped you.” His lips ghost over hers, and she whimpers.
“Kiss me, Harry.”
His lips slot over hers immediately, and cups her cheeks to pull her even closer. He sucks on her bottom lip, and she whimpers again. Blair tugs on Harry’s shirt, and then pushes his back to the couch. She moves to straddle him, and he wraps his arms around her body. They’re both grabbing at different parts of one another, and she shifts so she’s only straddling one of his thighs, rolling her hips down onto it. Harry groans, and starts kissing on her neck. She gets a fist full of his hair, and yanks his head back.
“Harry, I don’t think this is a good idea.” She admits. “I mean…we haven’t agreed to anything. I think we should take this slow, don’t you?”
“You just told me to kiss you, and then you climbed into my lap.” He smirks, and she starts laughing.
“Yeah.” She grips his chin with her other hand. “You’re always good at doing exactly what I say.”
“Always.” He agrees. “If you’re not planning on having your way with me then you should get off. You’re only gonna rile me up, and I’ve not done anything to deserve that.”
“No, I suppose you deserve a reward instead of a punishment.” She presses her forehead to his and lets her hands fall to his shoulders. She sighs heavily and then looks at him again. “I need a little more time. I wanna make sure that this really makes sense. The last thing I wanna do is hurt you again.”
“I don’t want you to feel hurt either.” He squeezes her hips. “I wanna give you the time, Blair, but you’ve also had a year to sort your feelings. You either wanna do this or you don’t.”
“I really hate it when you’re right.” She huffs. “But I know what you’re saying.”
“How about this…why don’t we go out Saturday night? We could go on a date, and see how it feels.”
“Why not Friday?”
“Because you work early on Saturday mornings, darling, and you’re just going to be getting back to it again.” He tucks some hair behind her hear. “Can’t have you being sleepy.”
“You’re so sweet.” She smiles. “Okay, yeah, I’d like that. Um, did you want to just go out for dinner?”
“If that’s what you wanna do, baby. I’m down for whatever.”
“I haven’t been to that grill we used to go to all the time in forever. Feel like I could go for a really good burger.”
“Alright, we’ll go to Benson’s. I’ll pick you up around six, how’s that sound?”
“I think it sounds like a date.”
//
On Wednesday evening, much to Blair’s surprise, Harry walked into one of her evening classes with Riley. Riley had a cheeky smile on her face, and Blair just shook her head at the two of them. It had been ages since Harry had been to one of her classes, and he had picked a yoga day.
“Good evening, everyone!” Blair says once everyone gets there. “We’re gonna start off with our warm up, and then get in to it. We’ll work a little with the weights, and then we’ll cool down with the yoga like always. Does everyone have their weights?” She hears a collective yes. “Alright!” She hops up onto the small stage and gets the music playing.
When the class is over, a few people hang back to talk to Blair. Riley would usually grab a quick bite with her after class. A guy was talking to her now.
“Hey, who is that?” Harry asks Riley as they clean up their stations.
“Hm? Oh, that’s Rich, he has a thing for Blair.” Riley rolls her eyes. “He refuses to take a hint. The second he found out she was single he was all over her. She’s nice to him, but she doesn’t like him back.”
Harry narrows his eyes, and reads Blair’s body language like a book. Her arms were crossed, and she was casually trying to step away from Rich.
“I’ll get him to leave her alone.” Harry says.
“Harry, don’t.” Riley grabs his wrist. “She can handle herself.”
“I know she can, but she looks so uncomfortable. What if they were left alone here, and he tried something. He needs to know she has some backup.” Harry walks over to the two, and Blair can’t help but smirk because she knows exactly why Harry’s walking over. “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we should get going if we want to make trivia night.”
“Right! Yeah, sorry, Rich, I need to get the studio cleaned up so I can head out.” Blair was thankful. Harry was always good at coming up with excuses for them to leave places early. Usually it was because he needed to get her home so she could fuck him, obviously now that wasn’t the case.
“Oh…alright, well, I’ll see you next week. Have a good night.” Rich looks Harry up and down before leaving.
“Thank you.” Blair sighs. “He’s a nice guy, but I’m not interested.”
“Obviously.” Harry scoffs. “Have fun with Riley.”
“You don’t wanna come with?”
“Nah, I need to get home. I have some stuff I need to do before tomorrow. Still on for Saturday?”
“Mhm.” She nods with a smile.
“Good.” He kisses her cheek. “I’ll call you Friday.”
Harry leaves and Riley helps Blair cleanup before they head out to a Panera for dinner.
“So, you two are going out on Saturday?” Riley asks her when they sit down with their food.
“Yeah, it’s sort of like a first date. I wanna make sure things feel really right with us. I have a feeling we’ll get back together officially, though.”
“Yeah? What makes you think that?” Riley smirks.
“Well…we kissed on Sunday night when he was still over. It was a really good kiss too, it was familiar, but there was still that, like, passion, you know?”
“I would love it if you got back together. I never really liked the other people he dated, and I was so excited when you both got together. He’s like the brother I never had, and I want him with someone that really cares about him. I never doubted that with you. You guys got together at a weird time in your life where you were sort of at different places. Now…well, now you might mesh better. You grew up a lot during the time you were together, I know that was tough on you both.”
“Yeah, it was.” Blair sighs, and bites into her piece of bread. “I feel like I could handle things better now. He’s been there for me during so many tough times, he’s seen me…at my absolute worst, and still loved me through all of it. I can’t wrap my head around him turning into such a playboy.”
“I couldn’t believe it myself, but I honestly don’t think he really knew how to deal with not having you around, and then…I don’t know.” Riley shakes her head. “He always wrapped it up, that’s what John told me, anyways.”
“He mentioned that to me too.” Blair rolls her eyes. “I’m not going to hold anything against him, we weren’t together. I don’t have the right to judge him about it.”
“He only wanted you, B.” Riley smiles.
“I really have missed him.” Blair smiles. “I’m really looking forward to going out with him Saturday night.” She bites her bottom lip. “Wanna come with me to Victoria’s Secret during the day? I think I should pick out something new…”
“Yeah! I’ve got a coupon to go there, actually. I need some new undies.”
“Oh, yay! We haven’t been shopping in forever.”
“I know! I hope I’m not on the road for an entire month like that again. It got old real quick.”
//
On Friday, Harry was in his office wrapping some things up, going over some paperwork. Then he looked over his calendar for Monday, just to see what meetings he had, and if he needed to do anything over the weekend.
“Mr. Styles?” Kiley, the intern training with Kate comes into his office.
“Miss Stewart, what can I do you for?” He asks, giving her his full attention. She pouts slightly at him.
“You can just call me Kiley…you call Kate by her first name.”
“I’ve known Kate for quite some time, Miss Stewart.”
“Well, we’ll get to know each other pretty well once she’s on maternity…right?”
“Most likely.” He nods. “Did you need something?”
“Yes, sorry.” She pulls a paper out of her bag. “Um, I just need you to sign off on the hours I worked this week since Kate left early. I forgot to ask her before she stepped out for her doctor’s appointment.”
“Oh, sure.” He gestures for the paper. “They’re really on you guys about the hours, huh?”
“Yeah.” She sighs. “I don’t mind, though, because I have to write a paper explaining what I did, so having an account of that will be helpful.” She shrugs. Harry hums his response as he signs the paper and hands it back to her. “Thank you…any fun plans for the weekend?”
“Just laying low tonight. I’ve got a date tomorrow, though.” He smiles.
“Oh! That’s nice.” She smiles. “Did you just meet someone?”
“No.” He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Might be starting over with my ex, which I’m pretty excited about since I’m still hopelessly in love with her.”
“Well in that case, I hope it goes super well.” She beams at him.
“Thank you, Kiley.” Her smile widens at him even more. “Feel free to head out, enjoy your weekend.”
“Thank you, Mr. Styles. I expect a full report of your date on Monday morning.”
Harry chuckles and nods as she leaves. Just when he thought his door was going to close, John enters.
“Wrap it buddy boy, we gotta meet the guys soon.”
“About that…I’m going to skip out on tonight.”
“Seriously? Why?” John frowns.
“I…I have a date tomorrow night with Blair, and-“
“You can’t be serious.” John rolls his eyes and sits down. “Why would you even entertain the idea of getting back together with her?”
“Because she seems ready for a relationship again. I still love her, and I think she still loves me. There’s still a chemistry between us, physically, so we’re going to Benson’s for a burger tomorrow to see if everything else is still there.”
“So that means you can’t come out for guy’s night?”
“You know as well as I do that guy’s night never stays guy’s night. I don’t want to be tempted by anything that could fuck me over. Besides, it wouldn’t kill me to stay in for a change. There’s a book I’ve been meaning to get back to. I wouldn’t mind just taking it easy, you guys have a good time without me.” Harry smiles at his friend. “It’s nothing personal…”
“I know.” John sighs. “You’re just fun, that’s all…” John looks down at his phone and smirks.
“Maybe you’ll meet up with that girl you see on the regular. Seems like she just texted you.”
“Maybe she did.” John nods.
“How come you don’t just date her? I’ve watched you turn down other girls to go meet up with her a dozen times.”
“It’s a little complicated. She travels a lot for work, we’re both just looking for someone familiar to hookup with right now.”
“Guess that makes sense.” Harry shrugs. “You’re pretty busy yourself”
“Exactly, so when’s around I see her more, and when she’s gone, I see other people. She does the same. We’re pretty open about it.”
“Good.” Harry smiles. “Have a beer for me tonight, yeah?”
“Alright.” John sighs and stands up. “Have fun with Blair, I guess.”
“You could sound a little more enthused.”
“I’ll be enthused if she doesn’t string you along.”
“She never strung me along.” Harry shakes his head. “We were a great team.”
“Seems like you were always doing everything for her.”
“No, she did plenty for me.”
“Babe?! I picked up a pizza!” Blair shouted as she entered Harry’s place, putting her key in the bowl by the door. “Baby?!” He wasn’t in the kitchen like she thought he’d be. She set the pizza down on the counter and walked down the hall to his home office. Her jaw dropped when she saw him knuckling at his eyes. “Harry, are you crying?” She asked softly.
“Blair.” He said, almost surprised. “Hi, I lost track of time, I’m sorry. Let’s eat.” He stood up, but she went over to him and urged him to sit.
“What happened, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, baby.”
“It’s not nothing if you’re crying. Talk to me.”
“I’m just really stressed.” His voice cracked. “I was looking forward to taking over for my dad, but there’s so much other shit that’s been added to my plate that he didn’t really prepare me for. Now he’s down in Florida living it up with my mum, and I can’t even talk to him about it because I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. He’s trusting me with everything.”
“That’s a lot.” She wipes=d his tears away. “I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Is…is there anything I can do to help? Anything I can do to help take your mind off things for a bit? I brought pizza…”
“Um…yeah, I think there is something you could do for me, but it doesn’t involve food.” He stood and took her hand, leading her out to the living room. They both sat down. “Sometimes when we’re having sex…I let you take the lead, have you noticed that?”
“A little.” She shrugged. “I mean, I like that you’re not super dominating, it makes me feel safe.”
“Right, but before you I wasn’t really like that. I was always in control, but with you…I feel really safe too. So safe…that I’m able to just let everything else slip away when we’re doing what we do.”
“What are you saying exactly?”
“I…I sometimes I think I want you to really be in control. I’m not saying all the time, but I have to be in control of so many things, and I think it would be nice to not.”
“Okay, so I could ride you more if you want.”
“Well, that would be nice.” He smirked. “But I’m talking more like…like maybe you could blindfold me once in a while, or you could cuff me to the bed?” His was flushed with embarrassment. Her eyes widened as she finally started to understand what he was trying to say. “I’ve totally freaked you out, haven’t I? I know that stuff isn’t for everyone. I was just thinking we’ve been together a while now-“
“Harry, calm down.” She smiled, squeezing his hand. “I think it’s kind of hot that you wanna explore some different things.”
“You do?”
“Mhm.” She nodded. “I…just don’t ask me to, like, whip you or anything. I don’t think I could hurt you.”
“No, I’m not looking for pain.” He chuckled. “I just…wanna clear my head sometimes, that’s all.”
“Okay, I think I could be into that. You know how much I love all your ties, I’d love to tie you up with them.” She grinned, and he groaned softly.
“What do you say we leave the pizza for later, and we head into the bedroom to explore a little bit?”
“I say we’re in for a fantastic weekend.”
“Whatever you say man.” John says. “See you Monday.” John leaves Harry’s office, and Harry sighs. He never told anyone about what he and Blair did, it was no one’s business. He certainly wasn’t going to let it slip now.
//
At around 10AM Saturday morning, Blair picked up Riley so they could go shopping. Riley had bags under her eyes, and a fresh hickey on her neck. Blair’s mouth fell open the second Riley got in the car.
“Don’t.” Riley mumbles.
“I didn’t say anything.” Blair chuckles.
“But I know what you’re thinking.”
“Did you meet up with John last night?”
“Yeah, I guess Harry didn’t feel like going out last night, so I met up with him at some bar, and then he came back with me to my place.”
“Oh shit, is still there?”
“No, he left at, like, seven.” Riley rolls her eyes. “But not before he fucked me again.” She shakes her head. “We’ve fucked so many times, I don’t know how he’s not sick of me yet, or how I’m not sick of him.”
“Maybe it’s a sign you two should be more.” Blair smirks.
“I mean, we’re basically just in an open relationship, that’s the way I look at it anyways.” She shrugs. “We were up most of the night.” She yawns loudly.
“You could have stayed home.” Blair frowns as she keeps her eyes on the road.
“No, it’s okay, I wanted to go shopping with you.”
The girls make their way to a Victoria’s Secret, and start shopping around. Just as Riley hoped, there was an underwear sale. Blair indulged in it as well. Nothing wrong with getting some new undies to replace some old ones.
“Oh, these are cute!” Blair says, holding up a cheeky pair of panties.
“Yeah! I’ve been way more into the lace cheeky bottoms instead of thongs lately.”
“Me too! It’s way more comfortable. To be honest, I wear boxers a lot around my apartment. They’re more breathable than athletic shorts, and they don’t ride up.”
“Of course men have more comfortable underwear than us.” Riley sighs heavily. “Oh! Look at these white ones! Can never have too many white pairs.”
“Snag me a pair, please.”
Once the girls are done picking out their underwear, and a couple of bras that were two $50 (yes, way overpriced, but necessary), they head to the part of the store where the lingerie was.
“What are you looking for exactly?” Riley asks as she looks over some babydoll nighties.
“I don’t know, nothing crazy, but if things go well tonight, which I think they will, I wanna surprise him with something fun.”
“You’d really jump into bed with him right away?” There was no judgement in Riley’s voice, more so surprise.
“I mean…I know he’s your cousin and all, but he’s pretty hard to resist, Riles. He had me wrapped around his finger from the second we met.”
“Fair enough.” Riley shrugs. “I might try one of these on…surprise John one of these nights.”
The girls giggle as they pick out different things. Blair ends up finding a black lace bralette and matching panties that she thinks will work well under an outfit. The only thing was the bralette didn’t have any support, like, at all, but she was able to adjust the straps on it a bit to give her a slight lift.
“God, I wish I danced as a kid.” Blair huffs as she leaves the dressing room to meet Riley out at the register line.
“Why?”
“Because then maybe I wouldn’t have these fucking honkers on my chest. I’d love to be able to wear a bralette without worrying. My boobs are so saggy, I look like a granny when I don’t have the proper support.”
“You’re being dramatic.” Riley chuckles.
“Easy for you to say, Miss B Cup.”
“Hey, I’d kill to have boobs like yours. I always feel like mine are too small. I have to wear pushups all the time. Besides, your boobs are not saggy, they just sit a little lower on your chest.”
“When I really started dancing I thought they’d get smaller since I was working out all the time, but nope. The worst part is, it’s all right here.” She lifts her arm slightly and rubs just under her armpit. “I’m only a C, but I feel like a double D sometimes when I put a bra on, it takes all the side boob to the front.” Blair puts her things up on the counter, and Riley goes to the next register.
“Find everything okay?” The girl behind the register asks.
“Mhm.” Blair smiles. “I have some coupons too.” She takes her phone out so the girl can scan the barcodes on Blair’s screen.
“Oh, that’s a good one! Took off 25% of your total.” The girl puts everything into a bag for Blair, and she heads out with Riley.
“So, when will John get to see that babydoll?” Blair smirks at Riley.
“When I feel like he deserves it.” Riley grins. “If he invites me over tonight, I might bring it with me.”
“Do you usually see him two nights in a row?”
“Sometimes, but not often. I think he missed me a little since I was gone for so long. Kinda missed him too. He told me he’d call me later today.” She shrugs.
The girls grab a quick lunch before heading home. Blair didn’t want to eat anything too heavy since she was going to be eating out for dinner, so she just had a salad. She spent some time doing some social media work for her business, and then spent some time putting a new dance together. Her customers had been asking for some more throwbacks, so she was crafting some choreography to a couple of Ricky Martin songs. They could be used for the high intensity days. She always recorded herself so she could go back later to review the steps.
When she was done she was drenched in sweat, so she hops into the shower to freshen up. She sort of ends up pampering herself a bit. She shaved her legs, so she massaged some lotion into them, and used some cocoa butter on her thighs because she liked the way it smelled. After that, she grabbed her electric razor to trip her bikini line, having exfoliated first in the shower, so she was plenty smooth where she wanted to be. She spritzes some perfume into the air and walks through it, then she gets to work on her hair. She had been sporting a shoulder length look lately. Her hair used to be really long in college, but in recent years she had been keeping it a tad shorter. It was up in a braid or bun most days, but she decides to wear it down tonight. She puts on some makeup, and then goes through her closet to find something to wear over her new lingerie. She decides on a pair of black jeans that could easily be word with some booties. She pulls on a blush pink tank top and a tan cardigan to complete the look. You could just see the lace top of the bralette, and she sort of liked that look. Her phone goes off just as she’s putting some lipstick on.
“Hello?” She answers brightly.
“Hey, baby, I’m downstairs.”
“Okay, be down in a sec!” She throws some makeup remover wipes into her bag, and a spare toothbrush, then she heads out. Again, she didn’t quite know what would happen tonight, but she wanted to be prepared. Harry was standing outside his car. He smiles when he sees her.
“Hi.” He says, and opens the car door for her.
“Hi, thanks.” She smiles back and gets inside. They head towards Benson’s, being silent in the car at first. “How was your week?” She asks him.
“Good, had a pretty good workout Wednesday.” He grins, looking at her for a moment before looking back at the road. It makes Blair giggle. “Work wasn’t too stressful for a change, although I’m getting anxious about Kate going on maternity leave.”
“Is the intern no good?”
“No, she just doesn’t have a lot of experience. She’ll get the hang of it.” He shrugs. “How was your week, how are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. I spoke with my mom last night, she’s doing alright. My aunt’s been staying with her, so that’s good.”
“Do you think she’ll sell the house?”
“Nah, she likes where she lives, but I think she’s going to paint and change a few things so it doesn’t feel like such a ghost town, you know?”
“Makes sense.” Harry nods. “I know I’ve offered a ton, but if she needs any help with anything, don’t be afraid to ask. I can hold my own with a paintbrush.”
“Thank you, Harry, that’s very sweet.” She gives his shoulder a squeeze. “It was really nice having you in class Wednesday.” She says shyly.
“Yeah? Would you be opposed if I started coming regularly again?”
“Not at all, I’d really like it, actually.” She smiles. “It…it made it easier to wait to see you tonight.” She blushes, and he reaches for one of her hands. He brings it to his lips to kiss her knuckles.
“You’re cute.” He tells her, resting their hands on the console, not letting go at all.
They get to Benson’s, and get seated in a booth. Harry hesitates for a moment, desperately wanting to sit next to her, but he thinks that might be too much too soon, so he sits across from her. She gives him a funny look.
“What?” He asks.
“Nothing…you’re just far away. You usually sit next to me.”
“I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”
“I want you to.” Harry smiles, stands back up, and slides in next to her. She hooks her arms around his and rests her cheek on his shoulder. “Much better.” She sighs. He kisses the top of her head, and a waitress comes over.
“Evening, folks, are you expecting anyone else?” She asks.
“No, love, it’s just us.” Harry says to her, squinting at her nametag. “Becky, is it?”
“Y-yes.” She clears her throat. “Can I get you started with any drinks or appetizers?”
“Definitely two waters.” Blair begins. “And I’ll have a vodka-tonic, please.”
“I’ll have the same.” Harry says. “Do you want an app?” He asks Blair.
“No, I think just the burger will be good.”
“Right, think we’re ready to order dinner.” Harry says to Becky.
“Great! What can I get you?”
“I’ll have the turkey burger with cheddar cheese and sautéed mushrooms.” Blair says.
“And I’ll have veggie burger with avocado.” Harry says.
“Sounds good, I’ll be right back with your drinks.” Becky says, taking their menus before walking away.
“Just a veggie burger?” Blair asks Harry.
“Yeah, I’ve been craving a good one lately, and they make the best here.”
“Very true.” She nods. Becky comes back over with the drinks, and sets them on the table. “So…do anything fun last night?”
“I stayed in.” Harry says, before taking a sip of his drink. “Got caught up on a book I’ve been reading, watched a little TV, nothing special.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t go out with your friends. Isn’t Friday usually your guy’s night?”
“Yeah, I just felt like skipping last night.” He shrugs. “What about you, what did you do?”
“I ran errands all day, and then went to bed early so I could get up for my early classes this morning. Then Riley and I went shopping, and then I did some work at my place. Got ready to go out with you.” She shrugs.
“What does Riley have to say about all this?”
“She’s happy that we’re entertaining the idea of getting back together.” Blair chuckles and sips her drink. “Did you tell anyone we were going out tonight?”
“Mentioned it to my intern…and to John. He wasn’t so enthused.” Harry rolls his eyes.
“He’s never liked me, and I literally have no idea why.”
“Think he was just jealous that I snagged someone as gorgeous and bright as you.” Harry grins. “You know, when we first got together a ton of people gave me shit because you were still in school.”
“I was in my last semester, and I was twenty-one, it wasn’t like I was a child.” Blair scoffs.
“That’s what I said! It wasn’t like I was looking for someone younger than me, it just happened.”
“We just clicked right away, nothing wrong with that.” She inches a little closer to him, her ankle hooking around his under the table.
“Not at all.” His lips graze over hers, but their food is brought over to the table before they can really kiss.
They both giggle and dig into their food, each moaning out at the taste. They continue to talk about things, catching each other on the last year that they weren’t in one another’s lives. It felt easy and natural.
“I don’t wanna be too forward, but would you like to come back to mine when we’re done?” Harry asks.
“I’d like that.” She nods. “Got any sweets at home?”
“Mhm, I’ve got those chewy chocolate chip cookies you like so much.”
“This night just keeps getting better and better.” She smiles. When the check comes, they both reach for it.
“Blair, let go of the check.”
“No, I wanna pay for dinner.”
“I insist, let me pay.”
“Harry, I don’t want you always paying for everything, come on.”
“Fine, can we at least split it?”
“Ugh, fine.” She slaps her card down and so does he.
“So fucking irritating when you do that.” He huffs.
“No, what’s irritating is that you think I can’t pay for stuff.”
“That’s not what this is! I just like paying for our dates, it’s gentlemanly.”
“Yeah, well, it makes me feel like shit.” Becky comes to grabs the cards, and tells them she’ll be right back. “I’m doing well for myself now, I want things to be more equal. I’m not with you for your money.”
“I know you’re not, baby…I just…I can’t help that I wanna spoil you rotten.” He presses his forehead to hers, and she sighs before pecking his lips quickly.
“There are plenty of other ways you can do that, Harry.”
“Am I gonna have the chance?” Becky comes back with their cards, and they both sign their slips before sliding out of the booth. She takes his hand in hers as they walk out.
“Yes.” She says as they both get into the car. “I…I think wanna see where this goes with you, babe. I feel like I’m really ready for you now…”
“That means the world to me, Blair.” Her bottom lip starts to quiver, and he frowns. “Hey, why are you crying?” He reaches to caress her cheek.
“I just can’t believe you basically were waiting for me all this time.” She sniffles. “I feel so shitty. And I feel even shittier because I’m jealous of all the other people you slept with that we weren’t together.”
“Baby.” Harry sighs. “I was so in love with you, still am, none of them meant anything. I’m sorry you feel hurt by it. You don’t need to worry about it now, though, I’m all yours.” Her hand grips the collar of his shirt and she tugs him close to her, only a few centimeters apart.
“Mine.” She says, eyes darkening before her lips crash against his. She nips and sucks at his bottom lip as his hands cup her cheeks, trying to get even closer.
“Fuck.” He breathes, putting his keys in the ignition. “Need to get you home.” He pulls onto the street, and zips them home. His hand grips her thigh the entire time, squeezing it occasionally.
“Thought of you last weekend in the shower.” She says, shifting on her side a little. “Thought of the first time we had sex in the shower.” Her breath is on his ear now, and she nibbles on his lobe.
“Blair.” He warns, but she keeps going, kissing on his neck.
“Made me feel so good, always make me feel good.”
“Blair, I’m going to crash the car, just sit patiently, please.” She sits back normally in her seat. “Thank you.” He sighs. “So, you really thought of me?”
“It was hard not to with you leaving me breakfast.” She pouts at him. “So sweet of you, and I haven’t had a chance to even reward you for being so good to me.”
“You’re still into all that?” He asks cautiously.
“Only for you…do you still like it?”
“Only if it’s you. I told you I didn’t do that with anyone else.”
“You still trust me enough?”
“Course I do, baby.” He reaches for her hand to intertwine their fingers. He drives a little faster to his place, and they finally reach it. “Gonna take care of you first, and then you can do me, alright?”
“Whatever you want, babe.”
They get up to his place, somehow keeping their hands to themselves in the elevator. Before she knows it, Harry’s slamming Blair against the wall of his front hallway, attacking her neck with his lips.
“Gonna mark you up.” He says as he sucks on her skin. “Then everyone will know you’re taken again.”
She whimpers as her response, and pushes his head further into her neck. She wiggles out of her cardigan, and wraps her arms around his neck.
“Jump.” He grunts into her ear, and she does so, wrapping her legs around his waist so he can carry her to his bedroom. He sets her down on the bed, letting her get her shoes off. He does the same before kneeing onto the bed. She takes her tank top off, and his mouth waters at the sight of the bralette. “Christ.” He breathes as he gropes her supple breasts. “Missed these.” He sucks on her nipple through the lace, and her head rolls back. He does the same to the other one, getting it nice and pebbled. One of his hands slides down between her legs and he whimpers. “Need to get these off you, that okay?”
“Mhm, yeah, please.”
He undoes her button and zipper, yanking the jeans off of her. His eyes widen when he sees the matching panties.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Blair. Are these new?”
“Yeah, bought them today, just for you.” She props herself up on her elbows. “Wouldn’t mind you taking them off, though.”
Harry nearly growls as he tugs them down her legs. His hands slide up and down her smooth skin, having missed the feeling of her skin on his. He spreads her legs apart, and starts leaving open mouthed kisses on her inner thighs, sucking some nasty bruises into them. Blair clutches at his blankets and grits her teeth while he has his fun marking her up.
“Can I?” He asks, looking up at her. “Can I taste you?”
“Yes, of course you can.” She reaches forward to push his hair back, and he smiles at her before licking up her slit.
He licks and sucks all around her folds before working his tongue around her clit, sucking on it briefly before bringing his thumb to it. He licks into her center, making her mewl as he essentially just makes out sloppily with the area.
“Yes, fuck.” Her hands rake through his hair. “Feels so good, Harry.” She grinds against his face, and he moans against her. “Harry, fingers, please, use your fingers.” She whines.
He lifts his head from her, and reaches his hand up to her so she can suck on his fingers. She does so happily, and then he slips two fingers inside her. She gasps and lets her body go slack against the bed.
“Baby, shit, you’re so fucking tight, does it hurt?”
“No, feels so god, m’so wet.”
“I know, you’re dripping.” He pulls his fingers out and sucks on them, moaning again before slipping them back inside to the knuckle.
“R-right there.” She whimpers. Her mouth was open, body writhing under his, having not been touched by another man in almost a year, her body was reacting on overdrive. Her back was arching, and she was pushing her head further into the mattress. “Harry, Harry!” She screams as she comes around his fingers, and he fucks her through it, sucking on her clit to prolong it. As she starts to come down he sits up, and starts taking his shirt off. “Fuck, I’m gonna give it to you so good.” She sits up and watches he takes his clothes off. She takes her bralette off, and tosses it on the floor.
“How do you want me?”
“That depends…um…what would you like me to do? Like, how…how hard do you wanna go tonight?”
“I wanna be able to touch you since it’s been so long, and I wanna be able to look at you.”
“Alright, so we can just keep it sweet and easy, save the rest for another time.”
“Yeah…work back up to it.”
“Get on your back, m’gonna ride you.”
Harry gets himself situated, sitting up against the headboard. Blair raises an eyebrow at him.
“Just wanna be as close as possible tonight, baby.”
“Okay.” She smiles, and gets herself on his lap.
“Are you still on the pill?”
“Mhm, are you okay to not use a condom?”
“Definitely don’t want to. Need feel you.”
“Need to feel you too.”
She grips his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before she guides it inside herself. Her mouth falls open as she feels him stretch her out. Harry looks down and watches as she swallows him whole. They both moan out once he’s full inside her. Her fingernails dig into his shoulders as she gets adjusted to him. His hands squeeze at her hips and ass.
“Shit, Harry.” She presses her forehead to his. “Missed you so much.”
“Missed you too.” He cups her cheeks and kisses her as she starts to slowly rock on and off him. His tongue slips into her mouth, and she grips at his back as she kisses him back. “You feel so fucking good.” He says before biting her bottom lip, sucking on it.
She whimpers and moves herself a little faster on him. She grinds herself against him, feeling the friction on her clit start to form. His arms wrap around her back, his fingers digging into her skin.
“Move with me.” She says into his ear before nibbling on it.
He groans as he starts to thrust up into her. She starts to bounce up and down him, moving his hands to her hips. He watches as her breasts bounce in front of his face, and he leans in to kiss and suck on them. Her head rolls back with pleasure. She wanted to feel his tongue all over her. She brings two fingers to his mouth, and he takes them in quickly. He looks up at her as he sucks on them, swirling his tongue around them, and nipping at the pads of them. She takes them away to rub at her clit.
He growls, and moves to pin her on her back, surprising her completely. He was never like this in bed with her. She looks up at him with wide eyes as he throws one of her legs over his shoulder, and replaces her fingers with his own. She groans at his touch. He was driving himself in so much deeper and she could barely handle it.
“Okay?” He asks her, panting slightly.
“Mhm, it’s good, so good.” One of her hands goes to the back of his neck, pulling him down for a sloppy kiss. They breathe each other in and out once they both start panting. “Harry, fuck, I’m so close.” She squeezes around him and he bites down on her shoulder.
“Blair.” He moans into her ear. “Can I come inside you?”
“Yes! Fuck, yes, please!” She screams as she’s coming again, feeling even more turned on when she feels Harry’s hot come start to fill her up. She grinds her hips towards his trying to make her orgasm last as long as possible. “Love it when you fill me up, feels so good.” She says as she continues to squeeze around him.
He slots his mouth over hers as they both start to come down. Their tongues mold together as they kiss lazily. He’s slow to pull out, but he was too sensitive to stay inside her any longer. She squeezes her legs closed to try to not make a mess. Harry scoops Blair up quickly bridal style to carry her to the bathroom, setting her down gently on the toilet, and leaving her to do her business. When she walks out of the bathroom, he’s laying on his bed in a fresh pair of boxers with a dreamy smile on his face. She climbs onto the bed and lays in between his legs, resting her head on his tummy. She buries her face into his soft skin while he starts to card through her mussed up hair.
“So…we’re really back together?” He asks after a few moment of peaceful silence. She looks up at him with a smile on her face.
“Yeah, I really wanna be your girlfriend again.”
“You have no idea how happy I feel right now.” He continues to play with her hair as she sets her head back down.
“You’ve never really taken control like that before…I kinda liked it.” She peers up at him again, grinning. “Maybe I should see what being the sub feels like sometime.”
“Oh, baby, I don’t know if I could switch like that. Don’t think I’d get much pleasure in making you wait for things. Think I’d give in the second you asked for something.” He chuckles.
“You’re so cute, Harry, but I understand what you’re saying. I don’t mind being the one to do that stuff when you really need it, babe.” She moves further up his body so she can be closer to his face. “Do you think in a bit when you’re ready to go again we could…bring out some of your ties?”
“Feel like I’m already bloating back up, fuck.” He groans, and kisses her.
“You know what I’ve really missed doing with you?” She says, moving her lips to the shell of his ear.
“What, baby?”
“Fucking that tight hole of yours.” She says lowly, and he whimpers.
“Yes.” He breathes, and she looks at him. “Still have everything, it just hasn’t been used in a while.”
“Would you really wanna get into all of that tonight? I mean, I’m game if you are…you seemed hesitant before.”
“I just wanted to feel really close with you before, but now that we’ve got that out of our system I’m definitely up for it.” He pecks her lips. “We’ve got the rest of the weekend to do all we want.”
“Mmm, and the weekend after that, and the weekend after that, and maybe sometimes during the middle of the week. Oh! Remember when I used to come to your office at work, and I’d let you bend me over your desk, god, that was always so hot.”
“Or that time we screwed in that bathroom at your studio?” His smile was incredibly mischievous.
“Or the times you sit me up on the counter in your kitchen and fuck me?”
“Or the time you bent me over my own desk her here?”
“I think it’s time we make some new memories.” She says, getting off of him, and extending her hand out to him for him to follow.
“Couldn’t agree with you more.”
Blair leads them inside Harry’s walk in closet where he kept his box of toys. It was still in the same spot as always. She pops the lid off and they both smile at each other.
“How long do you think I could edge you for?” She asks him.
“Um, I should be okay to go for a while since I already came.”
“Excellent.” She picks up a cock ring, the kind that vibrates. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”
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