Man, Dream’s face reveal really just goes to show that people will see someone who is just totally average looking and call them ugly just because they aren’t a total smoke show. What is wrong with you guys.

Watching Star Trek TOS For the First Time! Season 1 Reaction

I’ve been a TNG, DS9 and Voyager fan for maybe 10 years but had never watched TOS until I decided that I would. And then I realised I couldn’t live with the possibility of the internet not being able to know my incoherent rambling reactions if it so desired. Most of these were written the day after I saw them but with the early ones it was later so sorry if I don’t remember your favourite.

Season 1:

The Cage: Be still my beating heart why must number 1 leave the show? Why?! Imagine a world in which Majel Barrett got to continue to be her in the Star Trek universe instead of Lwuxana (sorry I don’t love her) and Nurse Chapel. She’s so beautiful I love her. And she gets to where pants and be the second in command. While the episode for sure has sexist moments it does seem like there was more of an actual effort to present to future as having gender equality. When you compare this to the ultra mini skirted version of the actual show, it does feel like executives went through it to make it more marketable. It’s been noted by others that she is quite similar to what Spock’s character became: the cold, logical one, while Spock smiles in this episode. While I ended up loving Spock I still would’ve loved to see a woman in that kind of role, especially in the 60s. Although I’m not sure she would’ve been treated that well.

So Vina can’t like, get medical treatment from Starfleet doctors who know how to put a human body together? No? We’re just gonna leave her there? She’s too ugly? She’s better off living in a fantasy world where she’s pretty? Ok then…

The Man Trap: I don’t even really remember this one so I’d have to rewatch it.

Charlie X: Charlie sees women and becomes an incel, Kirk has to try and teach him not to be. This is a decent goal that somehow culminates in a space boxing match. Kirk loses his shirt. Sexual tension is presumably resolved. Uhura sings.

Where No Man Has Gone Before: The pants are back. Man becomes some kind of god and Kirk beats him up if I remember correctly.

The Naked Time: This is where The Naked Now comes from. This one was less sexual, which is probably a good thing, and less drunk, which is too bad cause I love drunk Crusher and Picard trying to focus on work while their brains won’t brain. Highly relatable mood. This one is where the immortal line “sorry, neither” comes from, spoken by Uhura in response to Sulu calling her a “fair maiden.” According to the internet that was an ad lib and I so hope that’s true cause it’s amazing. Also according to Spock Sulu is a “swashbuckler at heart” which is cool and all but I wish we got to find that out by him actually being a character that we know the personality of rather than a background diversity guy who gets to say a couple of lines sometimes. Also each to their own but shirtless Sulu is infinitely more attractive than shirtless Kirk.

The Enemy Within: Bad. Women at Warp podcast said it best, it’s bad because they say the evil Kirk is still Kirk and is needed for him to be a good captain/person. This could’ve been ok if he didn’t do something so irredeemable, or they could’ve not had him be defined as a true and necessary part of Kirk, but you can’t have both and sell it as an ok message. Rand not being able to look at ‘good’ Kirk after really makes it feel real, her acting in general makes it feel too real.

Mudd’s Women: Women take beauty pills that make them have makeup on and men find them too ugly to marry without them even though they are still beautiful. Also said women were kinda slaves but don’t worry about it! *hand waves*

What Are Little Girls Made Off: I don’t know what the title has to do with the episode. This is the episode where Nurse Chapel is introduced even though she was in a previous episode. And she’s taken more seriously than I thought she would be. Kirk gets an android version of himself made by a guy who he already doesn’t trust and doesn’t predict that maybe that’s not a good idea. Apparently to make an android all you need to do is put one person and one dummy on a giant plate and spin them around real fast. If only the guy who wanted to take apart Data in Measure of a Man knew.

Miri: Problematic. I think the crush angle could’ve worked if it was one sided, but Kirk played into it and it was creepy, and you know, also manipulative, assuming Kirk doesn’t actually feel the same way and is using it to get her to help them. That’s my more charitable interpretation anyway. Also McCoy doesn’t know how vaccines work. Also this episode doesn’t know what puberty is, or rather when it starts. If the virus is supposed to get to you then, that starts round the preteen age. Miri is older than that even though she’s not an adult.

Dagger of the Mind: This was the first one where I was starting to quite like it and it was feeling a little more like Star Trek to me (I know this is the first Star Trek but there’s a certain way 80s/90s era Star Trek feels to me). I really liked the beginning where it was setting up this whole maybe prisoners become violent because of how the prison treats them thing and that it was challenging the viewpoints of some of the main characters, although McCoy was already team prisons are bad and I love him for that. It then went more into the lobotomising asylum type story which was still ok. The guy turned out to be a doctor rather than a prisoner which I didn’t like cause I wanted the prisoners to be humanised. Although you could’ve done a “see anyone, even ‘innocent’ non criminals can be turned violent with this treatment” but they didn’t really emphasise that.

The Corbomite Maneuver: I don’t remember this. Kirk playing poker with some alien I think. Edit: I’m been informed this is the one where the alien turns out to be a lollypop guild kid lip-syncing to an adult’s voice, which I do remember, and probably thought it was some kind of sleep-deprived fever dream.

The Menagerie Part 1 & 2:  I laughed so much when they wheeled Pike out and I finally got the Futurama reference in Where No Fan Has Gone Before. I mean I obviously knew the whole thing was a Star Trek Reference, but I had never seen that specific imagery before and now the joke makes sense! Also Pike wanting to go back there seems kinda wrong. I mean they say he’s a vegetable mentally I think but he doesn’t seem to be? I can kinda get that he’s got more incentive to be there than Vina who could probably be helped by Federation doctors but also, he hated that place and spent the whole episode trying to get out of it and it doesn’t feel like a fitting ending for him.

The Conscious of the King: And here begins Star Trek’s love affair with Shakespeare. The only thing I have to say really is, if I didn’t mishear something… a father and daughter played Macbeth and Lady Macbeth? A married couple. And no-one thought that was weird? She was the daughter of a dictator though so there was an Ivanka Trump vibe.

Balance of Terror: Romulans. Spock wasn’t sure that they were related to Vulcans till this ep, though he suspected it. How far back did they split for it to be unknown? I like that the Romulans were sympathetic and we had scenes with them just in their ship from their perspective, and they had some conflicting views with each other. And I really like how Spock was suspected as a spy cause racism and of course he wasn’t and saved that guy cause he’s the better person. That said I found this episode pretty boring and I don’t know why. I kinda wish it turned into a witchhunt situation and was more about the racism on the Enterprise, kinda like The Drumhead from TNG.

Shore leave: Wtf was this episode?! And I don’t ask that because the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland showed up, or that it was a random holodeck planet episode, that’s fine. When the White Rabbit appeared I was just like, ok it’s going to be one of those episodes, that’s fine. Holodeck episodes are fun, I don’t even mind a random magic alien or two appearing for no reason to wreak havoc, say by making everyone larp as Robin Hood, that’s all Star Trek, that’s Star Trek doing a Star Trek, what I didn’t like is this episode goes nowhere! McCoy sees the White Rabbit, we’re off to a good start, Sulu “Swashbuckler at Heart” sees an old gun that he geeks out on, cool. Kirk sees some woman of course. Also there’s some guy fending off a tiger. Random female guest star of the week rather than letting Uhura be part of the story gets her uniform torn by some guy. Then she imagines a princess dress and if that were me as soon as I realised I could think things into existence I would just imagine all my dream clothes. Kirk imagines an old student friend who is attempting very hard to be Irish (thank you Colm Meany for saving us from this).

Anyway so the planets a holodeck cool. And I’m like, Spock should beam down, I wanna know what he’ll see, this is where the episode could get interesting. And then it happens, but nothing happens, they don’t even make much of a deal of him not seeing anything. But then I thought what if! What if Spock didn’t beam down and this was another imagination?! What if he was some alien with some ulterior motive OR better than that we get to see Spock as imagined by whoever was thinking of him. You could go down a very fanfic road if it were Kirk’s imagined or desired view of him, or maybe you could show different people’s perceptions and then they still suspect he’s not acting like himself even though it’s how they see him, but its not quite right, cause it’s not actually how he is. Or at least I thought they were going to find out what was going on. But NOPE none of that happens. Instead leprechaun guy shows up again and Kirk just wonders off to fight him for the next fucking millennium! The uniforms they wore at the academy seem like they were made out of better quality material than that of a Starfleet captain’s. Poor Kirk must be having to replicate new uniforms every other day. Then they laugh I think, and sexual tension is presumably resolved. Then the aliens show up and are like yeah this planet is a holodeck we thought you’d like it also McCoy died but he didn’t and I’m like THEY DIDN’T CONSENT TO THIS. But then they decide to party.

It reminded me of a Red Dwarf episode called Better Than Life where they knowingly go into a virtual reality game which is basically the same as this planet. But over time Rimmer keeps sabotaging what he imagines cause he hates himself so much his brain won’t let him have nice things. And it’s still a comedy, but there’s an opportunity for exploring the character’s psyche with this setup that wasn’t done here and that made it boring.

The Galileo Seven: This episode was good!! In contrast to the last one it delivered on promises it made, it had a satisfying ending, it’s probably my favourite so far. The whole time I was like this should be about how Spock can be wrong and logic isn’t everything to be a good commander. But given the quality of the previous episodes wasn’t that great and Spock was always right about everything I didn’t trust them to do that. BUT I WAS WRONG. I thought it would be about how just because you don’t have emotions doesn’t mean you can disregard those of the crew. But instead it was about how he couldn’t predict their enemy wouldn’t act based on emotion rather than logic. And then he admitted he was wrong and helped the guy bury the other guy, and then they were about to die and McCoy was like at least I’ve lived to hear Spock say he fucked up. And then Spock jettisoned the fuel so that it might act like a flare but it gave them less time and I was like no you’ve learned nothing! Don’t just do things that severe without asking your crew. But then after they were saved it was described as an act of desperation rather than anything logical and Kirk was like that’s an emotion isn’t it? You acted on emotion? And Spock was like well yes but I’m not gonna say it like that.

I like that emotion was good actually. I think it’s a fine balance between the message of its ok to be different and using Spock as an analogy for racism, and inadvertently neurodiversity, but also not buying into the idea that emotions = weakness and lack of emotion, or emotional repression = objectivity. Even if you don’t factor emotion into your decisions (which would be impossible unless you don’t experience emotions at all) it doesn’t mean that you don’t have personal biases in your perspective. So I’m glad Spock was wrong for once.

The Squire of Gothos: This is Q this is Proto-Q. He does all the same things that Q does; he shows up in clothes that are way out of date (and he thinks they’re from 900 years ago when they’re clearly early 19th century) and he flirts with the captain. Oh and he has powers, maybe they were computer powers, but not all? And he goes on about humans being brutal, warmongering people but he’s kinda into it. He fights Kirk but there was actual tension so it wasn’t annoying like the one with the Irish guy. And then it turns out he was just a kid exactly like the Futurama episode, except he is a kid not 35. I think him being a kid makes the flirting seem weird though.

Arena: Kirk and the Gorn at Tanagra. Kirk fights a lizard because aliens wanted to encourage them to not fight by telling them to fight. I thought maybe these lizards could be proto Cardassians but then I thought they can’t be they don’t talk, but then he spoke so I thought they could be, but then he was the one who was invaded and was only defending his people so I thought they couldn’t be, unless that was actually just lies and justifications in which case they definitely would be, but then that would undermine the message of the episode so I guess not. I wonder how many leaders have killed each other before these alien’s negotiation tactic actually worked.

Tomorrow is Yesterday: This was fun. There were a lot of twists and turns. I wonder if it was before or after the moonlanding. Every plan just makes it worse and more and more people keep getting exposed to the future. Kirk could’ve easily just closed the door and beamed back at the end but instead opts to punch like six people. (I think this is where “a woman?” “Crewman.” Comes from).

Court Martial: What if Kirk actually did it though? Would that be more interesting? Maybe. At least here he has an age appropriate love interest. She’s prosecuting against him which is surely a conflict of interest. AND she has a uniform with a longer skirt! And it actually looks good, like it looks like an actual dress that she can sit down in and it still looks like a dress and not a crumpled up shirt. It’s elegant but it’s still short. I could see this being an option (for any gender) as a dress uniform but it would still make no sense when they’re serving on a ship.

Return of the Archons: I am LIVING for Spock in a medieval style hood. It’s giving me Peter Cook in a Mother Superior’s wimple in Bedazzled vibe, it’s not quite on that level of beauty, but it’s close. For some reason Sulu returned from the planet in 18th century gear but then everyone else is dressed like it’s the 19th century, with some medieval robes thrown in, and this annoys me more than it should. Maybe it’s because he’s a swashbuckler at heart. Apparently they had a completely peaceful society except for the nightly purge they seemed to have going on that is never mentioned again.

Space Seed: KHHANN! I liked this a lot until the end. I want to know the lore behind Data’s Dad having his middle and last name. Edit: Actually only the middle name is the same and the last name is just similar. I still think there’s lore there (excuse the pun), probably he’s a descendent of his cult followers or something. The story seemed to be eugenics bad and also the type of guy to basically be a eugenics cult leader would be super manipulative and abusive but just charming enough in a relationship. It does a pretty good job of showing the abuse in his relationship with the historian woman, how he switches between being loving and I guess charming, and flattering to being abusive and degrading. I wish that the historian woman could find someone that she can explore domination and submission with consensually cause that seems like it would be what she really wants. Anyway but in the end they just let him go? Like he tried to take over the ship but they were like here have a colony. They compared the place to Australia when the colonists arrived at Botany Bay and that it could be... I forget what the word was but basically ‘civilised’ and No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE NO Australia was already populated and didn’t need eugenicist cult leaders who were demonstrably bad to show up make it ‘better.’ AND THEN the historian is given the choice to go with them and she does and its framed like it’s good? Or at least ok? When they just did a pretty decent job of showing how abusive and manipulative he was and she had redeemed herself by turning against him? So I get that they probably wanted to bring him back although they’re probably not gonna bring her back, but they could’ve easily had him escape instead.

A Taste of Armageddon: Suicide machines. I forget the rest.

This Side of Paradise: SEX POLLEN! Well it’s more fall in love pollen, I guess, for one character. There’s a woman and there’s the music and the soft focus and BUT WAIT then the camera cuts to Spock not Kirk! Because she has taste. It’s about this point that I think the ‘Spock’s the most popular but Shatner wants to remain the star so we’ll emphasise their character’s relationship thus inadvertently inventing slash fic’ might’ve started. It’s time for a love triangle! She makes Spock get the sex pollen, which is not getting consent, and then he falls in love with her and is climbing trees and is all happy. Kirk can’t get a text back from Spock. Then Kirk and two others get the pollen except Kirk didn’t, but he did, but anyway I thought everyone would be horny but they weren’t they were just brainwashed. Soon Kirk is all alone on the bridge, then he gets the pollen and is happy to live as a poly triad but then he gets angry and it’s gone. Then he calls Spock to the ship and approaches the situation in the only way Kirk knows how: Homoerotic punching! So they fight for not long enough and then Spock is cured but he’s a little sad, there’s sadness in his voice, it’s not quite so matter of fact. Then Spock’s gf gets sad and the sex pollen is gone too, Spock might still have feelings for her but he has responsibilities to the ship and “to that man on the bridge” which if he was saying to just mean once again the whole ship, and its mission and the captain in a professional sense, seems a little redundant, which would surely be illogical.

The colonists get sad that they haven’t done anything for years because the sex pollen made them unambitious but I would argue maybe the sex pollen was right and you were better off just vibing. This episode was more interesting and less silly than I thought the creator of sex pollen would be. At the end Spock says that for the first time in his life he was happy. While every other character could still easily become addicted to a thing like that they could at least know they would experience happiness or any feelings again in their life, for Spock it was going back to nothingness.

Devil in the Dark: Spock calls Kirk Jim which I don’t think he has before, when he’s talking over the communicator and he’s worried he’s in danger, there’s some actual fear or urgency in his voice. Also the moment that got me was when Kirk wanted to send Spock back the ship cause he didn’t trust him to kill the creature and Spock was like “but… I’m not really as useful there I am here… so…” If I was writing it I would’ve played that up more but anyway, I like that they didn’t kill the creature. I like that McCoy said the thing. And also said “I’m starting to think I can cure a rainy day.” He’s my favourite.

Errand of Mercy: It’s kinda becoming the Kirk Spock show now, I like the ship but I miss McCoy. I like that the passive pacifists who Kirk was so angry with were actually more powerful. And KLINGONS! Oh yeah the orientalism, the yellow peril, it’s… it’s there all right. They were played a lot colder here, a little Cardassian maybe, still bloodthirsty but I don’t believe this guy has to do it himself to feel honourable, he can kill for sure but he’s fine ordering someone else to do it and being a chessmaster too.

The Alternative Factor: God this one was boring. But it does have a man with the worst beard wig I’ve ever seen. Now he’s stuck fighting the bad version of himself or something to save the universe. So remember that when you’re watching later Trek series, all of this could suddenly be destroyed if one of them gets tired.

The City on the Edge of Forever: UHURA GETS TO GO ON AN AWAY MISSION! Aaaand she doesn’t get to do anything :/ The usual three go back in time! To the 60s again! Oh wait… that’s meant to be the 30s? Oh. That’s some tall hair that lady has for the 30s. But at least said lady is a character, she’s a little perfect but she does things, she has strong beliefs, she might be written a little idealised, but she is still written like a person compared to almost every other Kirk love interest. “He says it (captain) even when he doesn’t say it” is an interesting line. So she has to die, I still think they could’ve just convinced her that you don’t make friends with fascists but ok. They never say what the Clark Gable movie is.

Operation Annihilate! Kirk’s brother dies, and so does his sister in law, leaving his nephew without parents. This is never resolved and the episode ends with them laughing about how Spock got his eyesight back.

“The rest of your life” Are you independent or dependent? Both, but definitely more dependent. Even more so these past few years.

If you could put your life into a category, where would it go? I feel like this would be easier to answer if you gave a list of categories. I don’t know what kind of insight you’re looking for. <<< Yeah, I have no idea how to answer this.

How many animals do you have? I have one doggo. <3

Are you popular? Nope. Never was and that’s perfectly fine.

What time were you born? Around 430PM.

Have you had any candy this week? Nope.

Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? I’ve never experienced either one, but they both sound terrifying.

Do you like those nerd glasses? I don’t know what “nerd glasses” you’re referring to.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Nope. Or any kind of physical fight.

What color is your house? Beige.

When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Hmm. I don’t remember.

Have you ever ate a crayon? Nope.

Ever rode in a helicopter? Yes, after my accident I had to be flown to another hospital.

Do you like rabbits? Sure.

Do you like mushrooms? Nope.

“It’s like you step into the room and just press play” What was the last movie you cried at? On Halloween I rewatched It Chapter 2 and the ending always gets me in the feels with what happens to Eddie, when it shows the loser’s club as kids and then adults, and the letter from Stanley.

What ice cream flavor best describes your personality? Vanilla cause I’m plain and simple and “innocent”, ha.

Would you rather work for a small or large company? I don’t know.

Where's your favorite place to buy clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

How many languages do you speak? Just one fluently. I can speak some Spanish, though. 

What was the worst movie you've ever seen? Hm. There’s been several wtf movies, but I don’t know what I’d say was the worst. I don’t feel like thinking much about it.

What video game have you played the most? Mario bro games and most recently Animal Crossing: New Horizons. I’ve been playing that just about everyday for a lot of this year.

What was your favorite TV show as a child? Nick Jr shows, Playhouse Disney shows, Arthur, The Big Comfy Couch, Tiny Toon Adventures, Animaniacs, Bobby’s World, some Cartoon Network cartoons, and Saturday morning cartoons like Recess and Pepperann.

What's your favorite sport? None.

If you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it? I have no idea. 

Do you believe there’s life on other planets? Not in the form of ugly green creatures with odd shaped heads.

What was the worst place you ever traveled to? Hm. I haven’t been anywhere I didn’t really like.

What is one thing you’re really bad at? Life.

Do you believe in angels? Yes.

Would you rather be a famous actor or musician? Neither.

“where have you been all my life?” If you could have invented one thing, what would it have been? I don’t know.

What's your favorite exercise workout? I don’t have one. I don’t exercise :X

What's your favorite thing to do? Some things I like to do include surveys, reading, watching YouTube, scrolling through Tumblr, and checking my social medias.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? I’m sure dinner with family. Probably invited my aunts and cousins over.

Does your local Wal Mart have benches in them to rest? Yeah.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I got more into stuffed animals as I got older to be honest when I started collecting giraffe stuffed animals.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Uhh I don’t know.

Are you crazy in love currently? No.

Are you good at swimming? No, I can’t swim.

What's worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet is suuuuper frustrating.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? Use me and play me.

Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Out.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? I don’t have much say when I fall asleep, but to try and help with that I listen to ASMR.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? No.

Ae you afraid that one day you might get cancer? It is something I’m afraid of. I’m someone who tends to think it’s always a possibility whenever something is wrong or I’m really sick.

“Letters to Juliet” Are you a fast or slow walker? I’m a fast wheeler.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? I never wear a belt.

Does it bother you when people's underwear hangs out? Kinda cause as someone in a wheelchair I’m at the level of a lot of people’s behinds lol and yeah, I don’t particularly want to see their underwear. Even worse if their ass is hanging out.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? No.

When's your birthday? July 28th.

Do you own a bobble-head toy? Yes.

What color was the towel you used to dry off with today after a shower? I haven’t showered yet today.

Has anyone ever walked you home? Yeah.

Have you ever liked someone and they were taken? Yes.

When was the last time you went fishing? I’ve only tried it once, briefly. It wasn’t my thing.

True or false: You've read the book Lord of the Flies? True.

Have you heard of the band Yellowcard? Yep. 

Have you ever seen the show Teen Wolf? I never got into it.

Do you have any quotes, lyrics etc on your walls? No. Are you a fan of Star Wars? Yes. I finally caught up on season 2 of The Mandalorian so far last night.

“Our parents never let us cross the street, but we did it anyway” Has anyone ever told you that you have nice hair? Yes.

What brand of camera do you own? I use my iPhone XR.

Is there something you're not looking forward to? My next doctor appointment.

Have you ever read the book Thirteen Reasons Why? Yep, back when I was in high school.

Do you wear white pants? No. I avoid wearing white cause I’m a slob haha.

When was the last time you were really angry? My doctor pisses me off. I don’t know why it’s so hard to get a call back regarding some lab results. I call and they say they’re waiting for the doctor to look over them and they’ll call me back to let me know but ugh it’s been taking days.

Have you ever made a 3 pointer in a basketball game? I’ve never participated in a basketball game.

Do you think you look better with your hair up or down? Down, but I always throw it up because it’s easier to deal with. I don’t have the energy or motivation to style or do anything with it.

Do you warm up before you hardcore exercise? I don’t hardcore exercise. Or exercise at all.

Do you want a pair of Converse shoes? Not currently.

Are you more of a studs or hoops type of person when it comes to earrings? Studs.

How many shirts do you have of your favorite band? Two.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? It’s already on, it’s currently on The Hallmark Channel. 

Have you ever wore a tie before? No.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? I haven’t ate anything yet today, it’s only 5:28AM.

“For the Krusty Krab” Are you good at art? Nope, not at all.

How many times have you read your favorite book? I don’t reread books, actually. 

Name one thing that you really hate. My health.

Have you ever tried walking on stilts? No. That would be impossible for me.

Is there a war that you find interesting? I’ve read the most about the Civil War and Abraham Lincoln. Especially for one of my community college history classes because the professor was a big Lincoln buff and I did a paper on Lincoln and the war.

Would you rather live in the city or country? City.

Do you think $7 is too much for a movie ticket? $7 is okay, but our movie tickets are more than that.

Would you like to be a newscast person? No. Fun fact: I was one of the newscasters on my elementary school’s news program when I was in the 7th grade, though. I enjoyed it, it was fun. It was nerve wracking, too, cause I went to a k-8th grade school and the news program played in every single grade/classroom. 

Do you like word searches, coloring or crosswords better? I enjoy word searches and coloring.

Close your eyes and press a random key on the keyboard. j

How many William’s do you know? I don’t know any.

What time did you wake up this morning? It’s 5:34AM, I haven’t gone to bed yet.

Do you enjoy crutches? I’ve never used them, but does anyone actually enjoy them? They’re beneficial and necessary for some, so it’s great that they exist, but I don’t know if anyone actually enjoys them.

What's better: Snapple or Arizona tea? I used to love Arizona teas when I was a teenager. The green tea and the watermelon flavors were my favorite.

Make a word out of the word: Dinosaur. Sound.

“she said I love this song, I’ve heard it before” When you were younger, did you play with legos? Yeah.

Do you like Trix cereal? Yes. I haven’t had it in several years, though.

Do you get nervous easily? Yesss.

How long is your Facebook password? Uh, I’m not sharing that.

Do you like the movie Mean Girls? Yes.

How do you want your wedding to be? I don’t plan on getting married.

Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? Both. I love the tv show.

Do you hate it when you arrive to something early? No, I hate when I arrive to something late.

Have you ever been on Omegle? Yes.

Are you still in love with one of your exes? Nope. I moved on years ago.

Do you think it's attractive when guys wear beanies? It can be, sure.

What's something that makes you feel shy in public? Being in crowded places is one.

Do you like the shows on MTV? I like Catfish and the Teen Mom shows.

If you could go back and relive one day, what day? Hm. I’d have to really think about that if it was just one day.

What's one word you hate to be called? Sensitive. I know I am, but I hate being told “I’m too sensitive.” Plus sometimes it’s like, “no, maybe you’re just mean?” 

Another 5 underrated Halloweeny cartoons

Last year I make post like this about 5 very obscure spooky cartoons that needed more love. This time Im gonna talk about some cartoons that are quite known but could also be more popular. As I said last year, if like me, you wanna watch every cartoon in existence, here are some 5 underrated cartoon series to watch in halloween.

1) The Real Ghostbusters

This one was actually one of the most popular things back in the day, and to this day you may find some remains of its once huge fandom lurking on the Internet, but the idea of this post is to make new people interested in it, specially young ones.

As you may know, most 80s cartoons were practically long commercials for selling toys and this was no exception, HOWEVER, the execution here was so great you easily forget it. Sure it was quite cheesy at times and the script got worst past the first couple seasons (this because some of the best writers quit after some pretty terrible and misogynist decisions the producers made), but trust me, the main reason to watch this is because it was WACKY as hell. Some scenes really catch you off guard, you don’t expect a lot of things to happen, either because the writers were master minds... or they just didn’t care and wrote the first thing that came to their minds.

And then, there is also the ghost designs. Just look at those things in the image above! What the hell are those supposed to be? the ghost of aliens? They dont look like death people at all! There are so many good ideas in this show that are incredibly inspiring, specially if you like to design creatures like me. And the animation for its time was pretty cool too!

I would also recomend the sequel show, Extreme Ghostbusters, which was a pretty good follow-up and also counts with wacky creatures designed by the amazing Fil Barlow!

2) Aaahh!!! Real Monsters

Another one that was pretty popular back in the day, basically Nickelodeon’s gold mine along Rugrats and Ren & Stimpy. This one also had a lot of incredible monster designs so full of personality and an incredible voice cast that goes from Charlie Adler to Tim Curry himself. At least for me this show seriously did better work recreating “monsters as a kid would imagine” than Monsters Inc or Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends.

The Gromble specially steals the show with its Dr. Frank-N-Furter-like personality, every single of his lines could be your seniour quote. Really so much thought in these creatures, making multiple gags about their appearances or abilities, rather than just being randomly designed monsters.

Is kinda sad that modern shows wouldn’t try an artstyle like this, specially because people nowadays would label it as “too ugly”.

3) Garakuta or Mr. Stain on Junk Alley

A pretty obscure one! Shall have probaly saved it for another list? Anyway, a lot of you may know Popee the Perfomer, a creepy cartoon by Ryuji Masuda that usually makes into “topz 10 mast disturbenz car2ns lol”, and it was indeed pretty unsettling. But before that one Mr Masuda make other interesting cgi projects that really deserve some recognition too.

One of those was Garakuta (also know as Mr Stain on Junk Alley), and used to air on Adult Swim (at least where I live >:( ). It consisted in short 10-minute episodes about a hobbo living an alley full of garbage as well as a lot of creepy crawlers. It may wasn’t really “halloweeny” or “spooky”, but at least half of the episodes revolved around scary stuff and creatures, but somehow always fnishing in a funny gag or almost ghilbi-like tear jerking ending. The uncanny 2000s cgi just adds to the creepy factor, aswell as being a silent show with no dialogue at all adds to the “classic fairy tale” feel.

I do actually consider this one an anime since is totally japanese ^^.

4) Making Fiends

Oh god! one of the saddest ones! And not because of the show itself but because of the story of its production. Basically, this one started as a series of internet shorts by Amy Winfrey on early 2000s, you know, the time for internet stuff like this (ie: Salad Fingers). Nickelodeon noticed it was kinda popular so decided to buy the rights to young and inexperienced Amy and make a full series. It sadly didn’t do well enough, and as is law on Nick: if its not a inmediate sucess... them cancel it and replace it for more crappy sitcoms or moar Spongebob. Poor Amy was left alone with no work and not being able to make more Making Fiends on Internet since the rights didn’t belonged to her anymore.

The premise is basically what the title or theme song tells you: a Mandy-like girl called Vendetta has a whole city scared under her control, she has the ability to make creatures that follow her orders and like to terrorize the citizens, but then another girl called Charlotte came, with a totally opposite personality to Vendetta she tries to be everybody’s friend, and of course, worlds collide! Unlike other shows of this kind, Charlotte doesn’t try to make Vendetta a “good” person, she is just being herself while Vendetta is also being herself, 2 different queens wanting to rule their world in 2 different ways.

At least the show kinda generated a little cult following with time!

5) Warau Salesman

I already talked about one anime here so lets talk about another! Literally meaning “The Laughing Salesman”, this show got a little more popular this year after some review on youtube came sometime ago. However, IT CAN BE MORE POPULAR RIGHT!???

As practically every other show on the list, this one is also episodic, which is kinda weird for an anime, isn’t it? It just doesn’t tell a continuous story, is more like... gotta quote that one review... The Twilight Zone, every episode we know about some random person who wants something in life, till sometime its complaints are heard by this humble gentleman called Moguro Fukuzou, who promises to solve all his/her problems free of charge!!! Just... do exactly what he says, really...

We really never know what’s the deal with this guy, the main attraction, the show itself, is he a demon? just a horrible person? what are his ambitions? is he actually evil or just like to do awful pranks?

This show actually actually got a decent remake recently! but didn’t do good since an anime that is not about school teenagers with superpowers is not profitable these days.

PS: this is one of those anime that I would actually consider “adult” since most of its episodes revolve the adult working life, alcoholism, money, taxes and how hard the life of the average japanese businessman is.

Let’s finish with a bonus of some specials mentions that also deserve a watch, may talk about some of these shows in the future!

Martin Mystery, The Drac Pac, Gravedale High, Mr Meaty (mostly gross and unsettling than spooky), Monster Farm, Toonsylvania, Hilda, Victor and Valentino, The Funky Phantom, Legend Quest, Creepy Crawlies (1987), Gegege no Kitaro and of course YOUR SUGGESTION HERE and the Moomins, yeah THE MOOMINS, because 1) is not really underrated, became pretty popular again this year after the new series premiered and 2) While most tumble talks about how the 90s show was pretty cute and how gay Snufka and Moo-man were and all that...

the show itself wasn’t always cute...

Fluff Alphabet: Cesaro

A fluff alphabet of the Swiss Superman that I wrote for the lovely @helluvawriter from my last writing blog. Hope you all enjoy!!

Masterlist

(gif by me)

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?): Cesaro has this romantic poetic side to him that he tends to show around you and only you these days. There are two things he’s found attractive about you: your eyes and your smile. He sees the eyes as the window to your soul and true feelings. He could get lost in them. And your smile...god your smile. So bright and happy whenever you smile at him. It never fails to make him smile back at you.

As far as you go, the list can go on and on about what you find attractive in Cesaro. But if you had to pick just one? It would definitely have to be his smile. He’s been a little insecure at times lately since he’s been wearing braces. During those times, you always make sure to find little ways to remind him that he still has a great smile.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?): Cesaro definitely wants a family but it’s not something he’ll rush into. He knows and understands the responsibilities of having children and doesn’t want to share you until he’s ready. He’ll want to enjoy your time together first. Cesaro wants a family because he likes the idea of raising children with the one he loves with all of his heart. Having mini-yous and hims to carry on your legacies. He looks forward to the day you two decide to start a family.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?): Your man loves to cuddle and will sneak it in at every chance he gets. Majority of the time, he loves to wrap his arms around you with your head resting on his chest. He knows how safe and loved it makes you feel. And every now and then, he’ll love when you’re laying down and you offer a cuddle the same way he holds you. He loves resting his head on your chest and listening to your heartbeat. 

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?): Dates with Cesaro are thoughtful and romantic. He loves getting dressed up with you and taking you to nice restaurants but he also tends to think of a reason why he chose that restaurant, such as it’s a new place you’ve always wanted to try or you wanted to go back because of a previous memory you two shared. One time, he took you to this lovely restaurant when he took you to visit him home town. After that, you two ended up on a walk  where he showed you some of his favorite places to go before you two found a pool. You two decided to go for a swim. It was something so simple but yet so romantic.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)): “I love you, mein engel…” Cesaro will say every chance he gets. It took him a while before he finally told you that he calls you his angel in his native Swiss German. He knew you’d rather hear the translation from him than the internet. After he told you what he’s calling you, he’ll say it in English once in a while.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?): It was one of the simplest of moments when he knew he was in love with you. You were busy reading a book, completely caught up in the story, when you gasped at a certain part. Cesaro was on his phone and looked up when you gasped. He smiled lightly at how captivated you were that it got a reaction out of you. That’s when he realized that he was in love with you.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?): Cesaro is very gentle. He knows there can be a rough side to him considering what he does for a living but he makes sure that you know he cares so much about you. He tells you in the gentle kisses and the way he touches you.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?): He likes to hold hands with your fingers laced together. He’ll look to hold your hand while the two of you are watching TV in bed or just walking around. With your fingers entwined together sometimes his thumb with trace up and down yours.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?): In the beginning, Cesaro thought you were beautiful, kind and humble. The more time he got to spend with you he saw you as funny and even awkward but he loved that about you.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?): He isn’t a very jealous person. Mostly because he knew that not only were you all about him, but that if anyone tried anything he knew you’d make sure it would be known that you were taken. But there will be rare moments where jealousy rears its ugly head. And it’s not because he doesn’t trust you but because he doesn’t trust whoever is trying to hit on you.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?): Cesaro is a slow, passionate kisser. It’s the romantic in him and he loves to savor the feel on your lips on his. It was actually you who initiated the first kiss. He was so caught up in his head about when he should kiss you that it had been a few dates before you just couldn’t take it anymore.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?): You were the first to say I love you. Cesaro is a man who takes his time to think things through and he wanted to be sure before he said it. He didn’t want to say it unless he meant it because it would only hurt you in the end. When you said it, he was surprised but he was flattered by it. He had to stop you when you started ranting about how he didn’t have to say it back. He told you that he’s happy that you felt comfortable enough to tell him and that he wasn’t so sure he was ready to say it yet. He had been hurt in the past and he wanted to take his time which seemed to be longer than most people. He wanted you to be open with how you felt so if you ever wanted to say it again, he wouldn’t mind it. He also made sure that you knew that he would say it to you...he knew it he just needed to work through some past feelings. 

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?): His favorite memory of the two of you was your first getaway together. Normally most couples go to the beach or somewhere warm but he took you to a snowy cabin in the woods. He wanted to have you all to himself and use the excuse to cuddle you for warmth. But the thing that came to mind the most was when the two of you were sitting in front of a fire, covered in a blanket when the power went out. You two spent the outage using the fire as a source of light and played some board games that were left behind. 

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?): He wants to but you won’t let him spoil you. He’ll pick his battles and sometimes buy it behind your back to surprise you with later. But if you mention you want something, he’ll play it cool but buy it for you anyway, depending on what and when you need it. If you need it for work, for example, he’ll buy it immediately. Other times are for gifts for your birthday or Christmas. You always find yourself surprised by this but thankful. You make sure to return the surprise at a later time in a similar way.

O = Orange (What color reminds them of their other half?): It’s two: black and grey. It’s colors that he sees everywhere but he associates them with you. He thinks of you because it reminds him of when you borrow his shirts (which also happen to be his merch) and wear them around. 

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?): Cesaro likes to call you darling, babe and beautiful. He knows they’re simple and maybe even cliche but it just comes out of his mouth. It’s what he calls you when he’s not referring to you as “mein engel”.

Q = Quaint (What is their favorite non-modern thing?): He is a big fan of the James Bond franchise and he still owns a VCR. While he has the films on DVD and Blu-Ray as well, nothing beats having to watch his favorite movies on VHS.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?): Cesaro will take this as an opportunity to keep you in bed and be lazy all day. He’ll even be willing to get up and either make or go get some coffee for you two. He loves his coffee…

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?): Cesaro is an animal lover so when he’s feeling down, he’ll google pictures of puppies, kittens and other cute animals. If he knows you’re feeling down he’ll send you those pictures. If he can’t cheer himself up, he’ll always call you and see if you could come over. Majority of the time, you’re available and you come over and make his favorite meal. If you need cheering up, he’ll bring you over some junk food and cook for you.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?): He likes to talk about everything and anything with you. You guys will talk about movies, TV, your future, travel plans. It can get pretty random too. One minute you two are driving to the next arena and the next you guys are debating over who was the best villain in the James Bond series.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?): When you aren’t with him, Cesaro likes to cook. It helps him to clear his mind and just focus on the task in front of him. If you are with him, he’ll ask for you to rub his shoulders or gently scratch his head as he lays in you lap or on your chest.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?): One of the main things he’s proud to show off is you. You’re so amazing and wonderful that he can’t help but show you off to the world. He prides himself on holding high personal values so he makes sure to present himself as a professional in both his personal and work lives. 

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?): Cesaro is a romantic so he makes sure to take you somewhere special. He chooses to take you somewhere meaningful to your relationship like one of your hometowns or somewhere you both enjoyed. He tries to play coy so that you won’t suspect him so he’ll be sure to take you out in similar ways of previous dates. He’ll be sure to end the night somewhere you have a beautiful view before he gets down on one knee and asks you the big question.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?): It’s weird. Whenever you hear ‘Suit and Tie’ by Justin Timberlake, it makes you think of your Swiss Superman. Cesaro is a well dressed man and you can’t help but think of him. Love song, for Cesaro, it’s ‘Vision of Love’ by Mariah Carey. Your Spotify was shuffling as he was driving once while you were sleeping and he listened to the lyrics. He thinks of you and your relationship when he heard it.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?): Oh definitely. Cesaro thinks of getting married but he wants to take his time. He’s not gonna rush into it because he knows he doesn’t need papers to say he’ll spend the rest of his life with you. He’ll get them on you eventually but he’s gonna enjoy everything and every moment he has with you. 

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?): Animal lover to the core, choosing one pet would be hard. But if he had to choose, he would start with a dog. He has no preference as to the breed because he knows it’s gonna be the best doggo. 

BTS Reaction: Their normally bubbly, kind s.o roasts someone who is badmouthing them

This is literally me lol. I actually had a lot of fun writing this one!

Namjoon

You and Namjoon were walking hand in hand down the street on the way back to your apartment. You were coming back from your date and yes, you looked damn good if you say so yourself. You were wearing a low cut shirt and tight jeans that hugged you in all the right places. You walked past a group of guys when one of them decided to make an offhand comment towards you. You almost barely heard him but sure enough, your ears heard the word “Slut” come out of his mouth. You felt Namjoon immediately tense up next to you and he was more than ready to defend you, however when he turned around he saw you grabbing the man by the collar and already defending yourself. “Excuse me? What the fuck did you just say to me asshole?” Namjoon couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of your mouth but if he was completely honest it just made him even more attracted to you. “What I wear is of no concern to you. I dressed up nice for my boyfriend not for you. So next time you want to say something to me I’d think twice and keep that ugly mouth of yours shut unless you want me to stick my foot in your mouth and shut it for you.” You released the man and walked back to Namjoon, your bubbly smile back on your face as he just stood there and stared at you in complete shock.

Jin

Jin had warned you more than once not to read comments from the fans online but you were bored and couldn’t help yourself. Majority of the comments were nice and supported your relationship. However you did find some not so nice ones and after the 5th one you read you snapped. I just don’t understand why Jin is with someone like them. He’s world wide handsome. Y/n is not good enough for him and never will be. You let out a scoff and immediately started smashing your fingers against the keyboard. Jin could tell something had upset you so he came over to see what you were doing. “Jagi! I told you not to read those what are you doing?” “Listen Jin my parents didn’t raise no bitch I am not going to sit here and let this little hussy talk shit about me over the internet.” “Y/n. You can’t engage with people like this it is just going to add fuel to the fire.” “Jin, I love you. But let me handle this okay?” He let out a huff as he sat back and watched you typing back to this random person, not fully understanding why this bothered you so much. Listen here. You might think you are big and bad because you type this shit on the internet but I would bet my house that you wouldn’t dare say this to my face. Actually you know what? If writing hates comments makes you feel better about yourself go right ahead because guess what? At the end of the day it’s me he’s coming home to. It’s me that he is kissing passionately before we go to sleep at night. So if being mean to me makes you feel better about that fact that you will never have him go right ahead. Jin began laughing hysterically. “Damn I had no idea my sweet bubbly y/n was such a badass. I better be careful from now on behind that sweet exterior is a demon that shouldn’t be messed with.”

Yoongi

Today was one of the rare days you actually were able to convince Yoongi to go out with you and you wanted to look extra nice for him. You put on your best pair of ripped shorts, and a crop top. Yoongi’s jaw almost dropped to the floor when he saw you, he thought you looked absolutely gorgeous. As you were walking with him you noticed some guy up ahead staring at the both of you. You gripped his hand tighter feeling uncomfortable with the way he was looking at you. When you walked past him he gripped your other arm and pulled you back from him. “What’s a sexy thing like you doing with a tiny guy like that? Don’t want you want to be with a real man?” Insulting you was one thing, insulting your boyfriend was a completely different story. “Are you serious right now? Get your fucking hand off me before I cut it off you son of a bitch.” He actually let go which boosted your confidence even more. You started stalking towards him, shoving him against the wall with your hand gripping his collar. “You insult my boyfriend one more time I’m taking you into that diner over there and sticking your dick in the blender is that clear? Yoongi is more of a man than you could ever dream to be. Now fuck off.” At that Yoongi came up behind you, his hand tightly gripping your waist. “You heard them. I suggest you leave.” “You’re both crazy.” The guy said as he walked away from the both of you. Yoongi then had you pinned against the wall, his hands on either side of your head caging you in. “I had no idea my sweet little prince/ss had such a mouth on them. What else have you been hiding from me? Shall we go back home and find out?”

Hoseok

You were out with Hoseok shopping at the mall. He suddenly could feel you tense up next to him as you began approaching a group of girls that were inside the store you were planning on going in to. “Um. Actually Hobi can we go somewhere else?” “What? Why? This is your favorite store.” “Those girls used to bully me in high school. Think Mean Girls but 10x worse and 10x more petty.” “Honey you can’t be afraid of them forever. If they say something to you stand up for yourself!” You walked into the store and sure enough one of them came up to you and tried messing with you. “Oh! Y/n! I haven’t seen you in forever!” You tried to ignore her but she wouldn’t let up. “Still the same weak and timid person you’ve always been I see. Gosh you make it so easy.” You couldn’t take it anymore and you finally boiled over. “Alright I was trying to be nice and ignore you but since you still seem to be as stupid as you were in high school and can’t take a hint let me spell this out for you as simply as I can so even you can understand. Go.Away. I hated you in high school and I still hate you now. Only difference is I am not the same weak girl you new back then and I won’t hesitate to put a bitch in her place. So I suggest you take your merry band of idiots and fuck off somewhere else.” Hoseok couldn’t help himself as he started cheering for you. “YEAH! GO BABY DRAG THAT BITCH!” You grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the store. “Did I do okay Hobi?” “Good? Baby you were amazing! Who knew my sweet little angel was capable of all that! I’m so proud of you!”  

Jimin

When you and Jimin were enjoying your night out at the movies together the last thing you expected was to run into your ex. Knowing your ex you knew they were going to say something snarky to Jimin and with his short temper you knew this situation was going to be bad. As you were walking into the theater you could hear footsteps fast approaching the two of you. “So this is the guy you’re with now?” “Don’t say anything Jimin just keep walking he’s not worth our time.” “Tch. I was more than worth your time when we were together. Couldn’t keep you off of me in fact. Why don’t you quit playing games with this boy and come home with me?” At that Jimin immediately whipped around to confront him but you stopped him. You kissed him firmly on the lips. “It’s okay babe. I’ll handle my ex don’t worry.” You turned around and immediately dug you finger into his chest and were jabbing it into him as you yelled. “Okay. Let me make one thing clear. We broke up for a reason. You were an asshole, who has no idea how to treat or please another person the only thing you cared about was yourself. Couldn’t keep me off of you? Give me a break. You want to know what a real man looks like? He’s standing right here and his name is Park Jimin. Don’t forget his name. With how loud he has me screaming it I’m sure you’ll be able to hear it later.” With one final jab of your finger you sauntered off to where Jimin was and planted another kiss to his lips. “Let’s go babe.” “I don’t even want to watch the movie anymore. Why don’t we go home instead and make good on your word? I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the movie anyway. The only thing I’m going to be thinking about is what other things you’re capable of. Such dirty things coming out of such sweet lips.”

Taehyung

You were at home with Taehyung when you started getting text messages from an unknown number calling you horrible names. You couldn’t help but frown down at your phone as you texted a response. Who the fuck is this? Unless you want these texts to continue I suggest you break up with Taehyung. I know where your apartment is and I don’t think you want me to show up there. At that you couldn’t help but laugh. “Great. Now I have some crazy sasaeng texting my number threatening me. Honestly I am not even surprised I was waiting for this day to come actually.” Taehyung would immediately come and sit next to you, concern evident on his face. “Baby? What do you mean? Is someone harassing you? I can call the company right away and they can do something about this.” You reached out your hand and ruffled his hair. “It’s okay Tae. I got this. Come closer for a second.” He moved closer to you and you pressed his lips to yours and took a photo. “Y/n what are you doing?” “Putting this crazy hoe in their place.” “Jagi! I’ve never heard you talk like that before where did my sweet little angel go?” Taehyung was fake crying into your shirt as you laughed and immediately started typing your response. You sent a message along with the photo. Nah we’re good. Thanks though! Feel free to stop by I am sure Tae would love to have a word with you. I’m sure the police would to. You do realize their company has ways of tracking your phone? They will find whoever you are and I don’t think you really want the police at your door do you? So kindly, go fuck off and bother someone else. I’m tired of crazy fans trying to interfere with our relationship and If you so much as show your face within a block of my apartment I won’t hesitate bitch. As you hit send Taehyung would pull you into his arms and chuckled softly. “Remind me to never get on your badside. You are scary when you’re mad. That babyface of yours is a lie”.

Jungkook

You went out dancing with Jungkook. It took a lot of convincing on your part but he finally gave in and agreed to go with you. He left you for not even 5 minutes to go to the bathroom and during that time everything went to shit. This random girl that you had no idea who she was just decided she was going to start shit with you. She insulted your clothes, your makeup, everything. The girl was drunk as hell and most likely had you confused with someone she knew but that didn’t stop you from roasting her ass anyway. “Listen you stupid woman. I don’t have any idea who you are or why you are starting shit with me but you need to get the fuck away from me. I don’t care if you’re drunk and sloppy as all hell you lay one hand on me or say one more word to me and I will knock you on your ass you hear me?” Jungkook had finally come up behind you and grabbed your hand to lead you out of the club pinching the bridge of his nose. “This is exactly why I hate coming to places like this. There’s always drunk and stupid people trying to start shit. You’re lucky that was a girl messing with you because if I came back to a guy harassing you I would have had a lot of explaining to do to the company.” “I’m sorry Kookie.” “It’s okay. I never would have expected you to say things like that! My innocent little y/n has turned into quite the little demon.” You playfully smacked his arm and continued to talk and laugh with him as you headed home.

LGBT+ Identity in the Time of Mindless Self Indulgence

Mindless Self Indulgence isn’t an act that could have flourished at any other time. The emo/pop punk wave was gathering steam; hip hop was still a novelty one could distinguish themselves from the flock by cribbing. “Random” Invader Zim-style humor was in the decline, while “edgy” no-limits humor was skyrocketing. Nerds hadn’t become the dominant force they are today, but due to the internet and the rise in manga and anime sales in the United States, they were able to access nerdy content much more easily. Youtube was taking off, music piracy was booming, and reliance on both radio and local record-store gatekeepers was at a low for young music fans.

Perhaps most critically, our national understanding of politics and identity at the time, particularly LGBT+ identities, was in a different stage of development than it is today. “Punching up” vs. “punching down” was not a concept that most people considered in their comedy. “It’s just a joke” was more widely accepted as an excuse for transgressive entertainment than it is today. “I’m an equal opportunity hater” was a common refrain.

Early in their career, the band released multiple tracks where Jimmy Urine, a man who was certainly not black, used the n-word. The “Pantyshot” cassingle was a treasured possession among MSI fans, featuring an early song that supposedly lost them a record deal due to being about lusting over a 5 year-old. Little Jimmy Urine sold kisses for a dollar to fans after shows, including to the teenagers. As a whole, the band made punchlines of racial and sexual slurs, rape and child abuse, school shootings, prostitution, drug use, incest, and just about every other taboo under the sun.

The understanding was that none of it was real and that none of it had any real consequences. Calling someone a faggot didn’t matter if we were all in on the joke, that homophobia was stupid. Words were just words. The identity of the speaker didn’t matter so long as their ideology was clear. It was something of an inversion of the way we publicly navigate comedy now, in that their identity determines where on the ladder they are to punch up or down, and the contents of their ideology is of minimal consequence compared to the text of their words. The context of a joke is not a matter of what the audience believes, but of the many complexities of hierarchy that society as a whole believes.

“Who cares?” asks 2008. “It’s just words.”

“How could it not matter?” answers 2018. “Words create culture.”

So LGBT+ identity in the era of Mindless Self Indulgence.

Describing the difference between 2005 and 2018 to young queer people is a source of anxiety for me, because I feel like the old woman talking about how she walked uphill both ways to the library if she wanted to read a book. It’s difficult, however, to put in perspective how quickly the culture around LGBT+ identities has changed. As dangerous as it is for queer kids today, they have much freer access to information about their resources and history than we did, and far greater representation in all forms of media.

When I was a teenager, I was the first person openly LGBT at my school, and my only point of reference for LGBT identities were Rosie O’Donnell and Elton John. There was no “Born This Way” yet, no Halsey and Hayley Kiyoko and Ellen Page, no Troye Sivan and Adam Lambert and Frank Ocean, no Miley Cyrus, no Laverne Cox. There were no empowerment ballads.

Which was fine, because I didn’t want empowerment ballads anyway. I felt disgusting. In reckoning with my LGBT+ identity, I felt small, broken, repulsive, confused, discarded and doomed. I was sickened in my own skin and filled with self-loathing because of my sexual orientation. Sometimes I still am. When I was 15, I drew a map of my heart, and in between the “fields of sexual insecurity” and “possibly irreparable damage” I had written “guilt!” several times and underlined it.

“You’re beautiful” didn’t only feel false, it felt invalidating. I was fiercely defensive of my self-hatred. I was working so hard at it, spending so much time and energy convincing myself I deserved the beating I was giving myself. To this day the barriers I’ve put up against generic bromides persist, and songs like “Scars to Your Beautiful” or “Roar” make me cringe. Maybe someone gets something out of them, but I can only think of the teenagers like me who used that sort of sentiment as fuel for their own self-abuse. I remember once bursting into tears at a “Jesus Loves You” sticker because it served as proof that the whole world was playing a joke on me, telling me that someone so unlovable should have some hope.

It was impossible to internalize that queerness was not dirty, unnatural and loathsome. Any attempt to break that association was drown out by the rest of the messaging we were receiving and our own tried-and-true mental gymnastics. Reassurance could not reach us at the bottom of the well.

At the time, I was obsessed with Mindless Self Indulgence with the kind of all-consuming adoration that only teenagers can possess. I aped frontman Little Jimmy Urine’s fashion, writing slogans across my coats with white tape. “What Do They Know” and “Cocaine and Toupees” were my ringtones, much to my mother’s chagrin. I had catalogues of bootlegs, lovingly sorted and pressed to CD. Mindless Self Indulgence populated my artwork, both in classroom doodles and in art pieces for my portfolio that I labored on for weeks. They were the subject of my college application essay. I met my first love on an MSI forum (which I moderated) and lost a few romantic relationships over my inability to talk about anything else. I owned every shirt. When I was hired on at Barnes & Noble’s music section, I would nominate Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy for the staff recommendation shelf every single week, and whenever it inevitably got recalled to the warehouse for lack of sales, I’d order it right back.

Sometimes my friends and I would go to the mall parking lot at night and blast Mindless Self Indulgence from my car, dancing around the empty lot with our striped stockings, fingerless gloves and Hot Topic trip pants.

This band kept me from killing myself.

“I’m filthy, disgusting, horrible, irredeemable,” we’d say. “People tell us we’re beautiful and we know they’re lying. I’m a freak.”

“Yeah, you’re fucking ugly,” the music said. “So what? So’s everything else. Have some fun with it.”

Despite the fact that Jimmy Urine has never publicly labeled himself with an LGBT identity, we young LGBT MSI fans claimed him as our own. We enshrined the article where he described being sexually attracted to anyone regardless of gender. We imitated and revered his gender fuckery onstage, the skirts, the pink suits and tutus, the eyeliner, his yelping falsetto leaping up from the masculine shouting, the way he danced. We pored over lyrics - that we transcribed ourselves in many cases, through multiple listens and endless debate - for those nuggets of same-sex attraction and gender ambiguity.

“I make a good girl but I make a terrible boy,” went one song. “These things in my pants that we’re all waiting for, I never really knew what that thing down there was used for,” went another. And the most sacred text of all was “Faggot”, off Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy, the most beloved record of the vast majority of hardcore MSI fans.

“I played that shit straight / blowing suckas to the side hopin' I get laid / now everybody knows / no way in hell I can ever live it down”.

Shit was a revelation.

Kitty, the drummer of Mindless Self Indulgence, once said of the band’s LGBT fans that listening to MSI’s music was like vomiting: it hurts at the time, but then you feel better. You got it out. And the band always cultivated their relationship with their LGBT fans. Gay marriage was one of the few political issues they openly took a stance on, in a time when states like my own were amending constitutions to protect themselves from Massachusetts’ same-sex marriages.

Thus, we had a place where we felt simultaneously seen and valued by the band, and unseen amongst the chaos surrounding us. The irreverent humor of the band created a safe space where homosexuality could be disgusting, but so was everything else. There was no shame at an MSI concert. You were listening to a man famed for drinking his own urine sing about whipping his meat out, who cared if you liked to kiss girls? That’s old news. We’re all freaks down here at the bottom of the well.

I’m 28 now, and I don’t know if the kids these days have an equivalent band. I don’t know if there’s a market for it anymore; I’m sure there will always be queer kids who have internalized the awful message that they are inherently unlovable, but I’m not sure if they can’t find more accessible and more inherently positive panaceas. I see mutations of the same style of humor in Willam from RuPaul’s Drag Race and in some of the undercurrents of Tumblr’s teen humor. “We’re goblins, trash, garbage babies.”

“Yeah,” my inner child says. “I fucking feel that.”

The paradigm of humor has changed since 2008, at least in my circles, and the reasons for that are manifold, political, social, capitalistic. In many ways, it’s been a good thing: bigotry can be exposed rather than cloaked in excuses. A basic understanding of social inequality is presumed of most audiences. People are responsible for the impact of their words, not the intent. “Equal opportunity hater” is seem for what it is: intellectually lazy and blinkered, the refuge of white guys who don’t want to own up to the fact that some jokes aren’t funny.

But I’ll always have a place in my heart for comedy that meets people where they’re at. Where we’re at isn’t always beautiful or acceptable or healthy, but sometimes it’s the place where we need the laugh most.

Here comes a thought (Joe Mazzello x Reader)

Summary:  you get stressed and caught up for an assortment of reasons which just seem to worsen one another’s condition, but have no fear for your boyfriend, joe mazzello, is here.

Words: 2,577

Notes: INSECURITIES MENTIONED. a few swear words or like one???? angst gets hit by fluff train

A/N:  if you don’t know why september plays, watch night at the museum one. wink wink anyways hope you guys like this :) <3 also if this flops u never saw me

🎆 tagging: @obsessedwithrogertaylor @malekdarling @i-padfootblack-things

~~~~~~~~~

You’re ugly.

Nobody likes you.

You will never amount to anything.

Burnout? Is that what it was called? You didn’t really care. You just knew you were tired and that was causing a long list of other problems. Your lack of interest in work made you question your whole life. You thought you couldn’t spend your life in an office cubicle so you impulsively quit. You didn’t think it through though, because you were now faced with the question “What now?”. As you thought back about your whole life, you realised that everything in your life has been a lie. You questioned the authenticity of reality itself. You started noticing every flaw within yourself and hated yourself for them.

It had been a week now and you just haven’t left yours and Joe’s shared apartment. He was off being John Deacon and thinking you were a burden upon everyone you hadn’t bothered to contact him. You only went out to buy food and that was it. You constantly felt like you conscious, but unconscious. It was as if you were living, but only for the purpose of living. You didn’t really pay much attention to how much you were spending, how you looked, etc. All you did was mindlessly browse the internet and sleep.

You were lost to say the least, but your boyfriend was about to change that in a second.

“Y/N!”

Joe burst into the apartment. He felt an eerie presence, not a scary one, but a sad one. It was as if he had just walked into a colourless room. He quickly hurried into your room to see you sleeping on the right side at 5 pm. He sat beside you patting your back. He didn’t know what was wrong, but he knew something was. He decided not to wake you up and lie down next to you, hugging you tightly. He slowly fell asleep, as you smiled faintly, feeling his touch.

When you had woken up an hour later, you found yourself between Joe’s arms. You don’t remember how he had got there, but you were glad to see a familiar face. Joe’s eyes then fluttered open seeing you staring at him.

“Hmm, staring are we?” He smirked sleepily. You shook your head, giggling. He had ruined the domestic moment.

“What are you doing back so early?” You yawned lazily.

“Well we got a two week break due to some directorial problems. I got here as soon as possible.” He smiled.

“Onto the bigger problem, what happened to you?” He gestured to your gloomy demeanor. You sighed. You were wearing one of his old T-shirts and some shorts which was a pretty normal look if it weren’t for the mysterious stains, dark eyebags and bloodshot eyes.

“I’m just not feeling well.”

“Like you’re sick?”

“Like I feel uninspired and unmotivated to do anything. I quit my job, because I felt like I wasn’t using my full potential, but now I realise I don’t even have potential.” You buried your hands in your face, feeling like an utter failure.

“Hey, don’t say that.” He said holding you closer.

“You’re an amazing person, with amazing qualities and amazing looks and you will wow the world with your amazing ways.”

You smiled weakly at his attempt to make you feel better, but you couldn’t help but still feel like shit.

“In fact, I’m going to show you right now.” He said, breaking the embrace and getting up from the bed. You whimpered and the sudden loss of contact and couldn’t bother to see where he was heading off to. You heard the sudden sound of water rushing down in the bathtub and finally decided to get up. You saw Joe filling up the tub with water and grabbing a random bath bomb from your drawer and throwing it in.

“What are you doing?” You asked, peeking through the door frame.

“Well, you are going to be taking a bath in this lovely concoction, while i’ll be off doing something secret. Don’t even think of protesting, because I already threw in the bath bomb.” He said. You sighed and gave in. Joe left the bathroom so you could have some privacy, but you left the door unlocked.

About a hour and thirty minutes in, you were feeling lovely jasmine oils drift you away to a place so calming. You must’ve drifted asleep for most of it though as you had lost track of time. You heard a knock and the door and told Joe he could come in.

“So how is it?” He strode in, looking proud.

“Fine, I wish you were here though.” You winked.

“Oh well, I’ve been up to something far more important.” He grinned mischievously. You raised an eyebrow wondering what he was up to this time.

“And when will the far more important something be revealed?” You rolled your eyes. You were truly curious to see what else he had up his sleeve. He kneeled down and met your eyes. His hazel eyes were mesmerizing and brought a sense of relief to you, a sense of home. He leaned into your ear and whispered.

“Once you’re done here.”

He then stood up as you sighed annoyed by his ‘secrets’.

“Wear something kinda fancy, but not lady gaga fancy, but like still fancy to the point that you’ll feel goo-”

“Got it Joe, wear something I like.” You laughed at his attempt to describe the dress code. It was his turn to roll his eyes as he exited the bathroom. You decided you couldn’t wait any longer so you washed off and dried off. You decided to get pretty extra in an red dress that was stunning to say the least. You brushed your hair slightly looked at the mirror. This was the best you were going to look. You shrugged it off and went out the door.

The scent of lavender fill the air. Scented candles had been light around the whole apartment. It was a romantic sight. Suddenly, a wild white button down and tie wearing Lucy appeared out of nowhere.

You had met Joe’s friends on numerous occasion, enough occasions that you had become friends with them.

“Hello, Miss (L/N), is it? Your date is waiting for you.” She said cheekily. She was your only girl friend in the borhap group so you both were pretty close. She was like the Ben Hardy to your Joe Mazzello.

You giggled at her appearance, most importantly hee fake moustache.

“Shh, don't worry it’s me (Y/N)” She whispered, trying not to let out a laugh as you did.

She held her arm out and you obliged happily. It was ridiculous, but it was making you feel somewhat better. You both skipped into the dining area whilst making jokes to see Joe waiting for you on one side of the table.

Lucy let go of you and you walked to sit beside Joe. Joe looked at you in awe. I mean you were beautiful no matter what, but seeing you happy and confident sparked a certain flame inside of him. You looked at him as well and he was astonishing as all ways.

“Let me just get your waiter.”

Lucy walked into the kitchen and gave you and Joe some private time. You couldn't hold it in and let out your laughs.

“Okay, Joe what have you done.” You said in between laughs. He smiled finally seeing you enjoy yourself.

“I told you I was going to prove to you that you are amazing. Anyways everyone was somewhat in the area.“

You heart melted. You didn't realise that he cared that much, which only made you fall for him deeper. Ben walked out with a piece of paper and two glasses of water. He had the same attire, except he wore a black vest.

He walked to you and handed you the so called ‘menu’. Written on it was “the (Y/N) special” and that was it. You looked to Joe in confusion; His only response was to take your menu away and hand it over to Ben.

“Well both have one serving of the (Y/N) special.”

Ben nodded taking both menus.

“Ah a fine fine choice. You must be people of fine dining.”

You chuckled lightly at his mannerism. It was quite the sight seeing Ben Hardy as your ‘waitress’.  He was gone and you and Joe were alone again.

“So who else have you got under the operation?”

“Well, Gwil is cooking and the rest is a surprise.” He has so many surprises in store for you, you must've lost count. You didn't understand why he was so determined.

“I feel bad, I don't have anything for you and you're the one who came back!” You spoke sadly, your mind starting to linger back to your insecurities.

“Don’t feel bad! I don't need anything or anyone, but you.”

He took your hand in his, and stroked your cheek with his other. His palm rest against your rosy cheeks and you both just stared at one another tenderly. The intimate moment was broken by Ben’s reappearance along with Rami. You both pulled away from each other, seeing what they had in store.

“Here is your dinner.” He laid down two plates of (Y/F/F), one for you and one for Joe. You took a bite and it tasted heavenly. You didn't think the night could get any better, but it tremendously did. You gave Joe a glance to see if he was enjoying and it seemed so. Truth be told, he didn't really care for the food, but it filled you with joy beyond comprehension, so he was ecstatic.

Rami, who was also dressed similarly to Ben, put down a small speaker in between you both.

“Your entertainment for tonight.” He said taking out his phone and pressing the play button.

BA DE YA, SAY DO YOU REMEMBE-

Rami quickly pressed pause, looking slightly flustered. “Oh my god,i’m so sorry.” He said switching the song some ambient fancy restaurant music. Rami shook his head and put his phone back into his pocket.

“Would you like anything else?” Ben asked, trying to forget what had just happened.

“Oh may we also the special dessert?” Joe said taking more bites from his meal. Ben nodded and they both head back into the kitchen. You finished your food almost instantly. It was an absolutely savory delight; You'd have to remember to give your compliments to the chef.

“I quite liked September.” You joked sarcastically, although you would truly get down with it.

“Well we could go dancing later, anything you'd like. I know you say you have two left feet, but I have two right so maybe we could work something out?”

You both laughed, but you knew he was underestimating himself, he was playing as disco deaky after all.

Soon, you both had your desserts and were talking about whatever had come to mind.

“Wait so, you guys visited THE Abbey Road??” You asked in disbelief. It was such an iconic street, of course you were in shock.

“Yeah, I mean Roger did live nearby and we thought we'd take some pictures.” He showed you the pictures on his phone. You saw them the whole cast smiling up at the camera, having fun. You sighed, wishing you were there. You wish you could be with Joe whenever and wherever.

“You guys didn't cause a traffic jam?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. Joe furrowed his eyebrows, but smiled.

“Me? Cause a traffic jam for a mere selfie?” He put a hand on his chest dramatically. He couldn't fail to make you laugh, even if he tried.

“No, we ran away very fast.” He said casually.

“That's good, I wouldn't want to see get a single scratch on the love of my life.” You hugged him as he blushed the reddest shade of red. It was that moment that Love of my life came on. You internally thank whoever did that for the change of mood. He pulled away and stood up.

He held out his hand, and you very much took it. You stood up and put your hands around his neck. You both swayed along to the music; you buried head in his chest, taking in his scent. You stayed like that for a few moments in silence.

“(Y/N).” He spoke softly, almostly breathlessly. You looked up at him, you (E/C) into his brown ones.

“I’m sorry I couldn't be there for you, when you felt down.”

Because you don't know what it means to me

“What are you talking about Joe? I was the one who fell. I should've been strong even without you. I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I don't even know why you're doing this.” You looked away, a tear threatening to roll down your cheek.

Love of my life, don't leave me

“It's not your fault. Sometimes we fall, sometimes we peak. It's a normal thing. You're there for me at my worst, my best and my in between. It only makes sense that I’m there for you as well. You have the beauty of a goddess and your presence just fills me with so muchhappiness. You light up my whole world and nothing else can quite do it like you. You've given all the support one can give and I don't know who else would do that for me for 6 years. You're the kindest, smartest and most beautiful person I've ever met. You're the love of my life.”

When I grow older I will be there at your side to remind you how I still love you, I still love you

“You mean it?” You ask looking up, tears running down your cheek like a waterfall.

“Yes and I know I don't have a ring and this isn't the grandest gesture and this isn't even part of the plan, but I need you to know that I want to grow old with you, I want to buy a house with you, I want to wake up next to you every single day.” He paused.

“I want to marry you.”

You could barely get anything out. You were sobbing, but at this point you didn't care if you were ugly crying or if you were overreacting. Someone cares about you enough to want to spend his life with you. He spoke from his heart and it touched yours in a way no one else ever could.

“I want to marry you too.”

Love of my life, Love of my life

You close the gap between the both of you. Your kiss is long and sweet considering you both had tears of joy streaming down your face. You couldn't explain the joy you felt. It was as if your heart melted a million times over. You felt like you finally had someone to lean on, somehow you could wholeheartedly give your heart to. All you pain and insecurities seemed like a distant memory.

You loved him so so much.

You both pulled away to see each other’s puffy red faces. You both laughed at the sight. Two lovers standing in front of each other, crying an absolute storm.

“So what now.” Joe snuffed and chuckled all at once.

“You're mine and I’m yours.” You put your palm against his cheek, stroking him lightly. You pulled him closer to you and pressed your lips against his.

You were both happy.

~~~~~~~~~

Calm down, dickhead

Word Count: 1217

Summary: In that one universe where you have a tattoo of the first words of your soulmate to you, Todoroki and Bakugo become internet friends.

Genre: fluff? ish

A/N: When I told Malak about this idea and she immediately told me to stop, I decided to continue. (I have no fancy twitter picture thing but imagine the italics just on twitter)

YOUR MUM @ bakubaku

ALL THESE BASTARDS IN MY WAY CAN THEY JUST M O. VE OR I’LL MOVE A PINEAPPLE UP THEIR ASSES

Posted 21:03, 11/07/18

The first tweet that Todoroki saw on his timeline from this aggressive guy on twitter made him laugh and fall off his chair instantly. How could anyone be so creative with their insults? He decided to go through his account and make himself laugh a little after this tiring day.

YOUR MUM @ bakubaku

i’d use my explosions in your face so the ugly would be burned

Posted 20:57, 10/07/18

YOUR MUM @ bakubaku

ffs can we just gO

Posted 19:23, 10/07/18

reply to @ dekudeku

YOUR MUM @ bakubaku

no. go back to your womb

Posted 19:22, 10/07/18

Deku knew this guy? Why had he never told him about this comedy? Todoroki was stunned and decided to give Bakugo a follow. You’ll never know, maybe he would have another mutual.

He immediately received a followback and a DM saying: “why tf did you follow me assshole”. He didn’t know what to say or how to reply. There was not just one answer to this question and the fact that he was called asshole wasn’t the first nickname he would expect to be called. This Bakugo guy kept surprising him in different ways.

todo: You just seemed funny so I decided to give you a chance.

YOUR MUM: you???? giving me a chance???

YOUR MUM: BIGGEST JOKE OF THE CENTURY AHAHFSDJ

YOUR MUM: okay you made me laugh so i’ll give you a chance too

todo: It wasn’t a joke, but if you laughed… That’s good, I guess…

What did this guy think? How did he think so high of himself? Todoroki thought about this decision that would definitely change his timeline into a much harsher one. Would it be worth it or will this affect his mood negatively as well?

“I guess I’ll see..” He murmured out, while turning off the lights and getting into his cozy, warm bed to sleep for the night.

•••

“WHAT!?” yelled Deku out, “YOU STARTED FOLLOWING BAKUGO AND HE JUST FOLLOWED YOU BACK LIKE THAT?!” He was definitely surprised by how easy it was for Todoroki to get him to follow back. It had taken Deku at least 7 months to get him to notice, let alone follow him back.

“Eh, he probably looked through my account and saw that I know you,” Todoroki tried reasoning it. “So, this mess because of you, Deku.”

“What mess? THIS IS AMAZING!!” Deku was excited about small things like this, as always. It was a small followback but the fact that it was one of those big accounts on twitter, made it much more enchanting for him.

Todoroki couldn’t say anything. He just smiled while looking at Deku being so happy..

•••

That same night, Todoroki received another DM from Bakugo.

YOUR MUM: yo bastard I have a question

YOUR MUM: ansWER ME ASSHOLE

YOUR MUM: HoW DARE YOU IGNORE ME

todo: Chill man. I’m here two seconds after you texted me.

YOUR MUM: well that’s two seconds too late for me

todo: Alright, I can go again if you don’t want me to answer your question?

It wasn’t as if Todoroki didn’t like this type of attention. He really felt that Bakugo gave him this special happiness, one that even Deku had not given him. Was it the humorous aggressiveness? Or was it the nicknames? He didn’t know, but played along anyway.

YOUR MUM: YOU USELESS WHITE CRAYON JUST WAIT FOR MY QUESTION

todo: GHAHAHA USELESS WHITE CRAYON

YOUR MUM: I JUST WANTED TO ASK HOW YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR QUIRK SO WELL BUT YOU MADE ME GET SICK OF IT ALREADY

This sudden compliment hit Todoroki out of nowhere. Within one day of following Bakugo, he had already felt so familiar and close to him, and now he was blushing because of such a simple compliment? It couldn’t have been just a normal friendship.

Immediately he looked at his wrist. “Fuck you, orange juice.” He was secretly hoping it would have been the first thing Bakugo said to him. It was similar to his word choice and vibe, but it just was not the same. Maybe the similarity is what made Bakugo feel so close to him.

YOUR MUM: i’m still waiting for an answer

todo: I think it’s just a lot of focus and traumatic experiences using it hahah :)

They talked for the rest of the night, about their past and present; their origins and destinations. It really felt like a second home to Todoroki. (A/N: I’m not including any of this since I’m keeping it the same as in the anime itself.)

•••

A few months went by of the two talking every day. With every passing day, Todoroki got insulted with a more diverse set of nicknames and Bakugo received an even calmer reaction of Todoroki. They became closer than with anyone else they had ever known before and started trusting each other with meanings within the lines of their messages.

Soon, they decided to meet up, but Deku seemed to be against this.

“Todo, you’re in loVE with this guy that’s not your soulmate. How dare you waste your time like this?”

“But we’re only meeting as friends! He doesn’t know anything about my crush on him.”

Deku was still against the idea. He thought Bakugo might feel the exact same way, and they all knew how relationships outside of the ones with your soulmate ended up. Some people had locked themselves up for months after breaking up with someone that was not their soulmate, because they felt so empty. It was the Deity’s way of punishing people who had not listened to his advice of who their soulmate was.

Despite the fact that they had already called and videochatted multiple times, Todoroki was still hoping his tattoo was just wrong. Bakugo’s first message was not the same as his tattoo, so at first he thought it was because it wasn’t his voice, but neither were Bakugo’s first words like that when calling.

He really hoped it was just a mistake of the Deitys..

•••

It was the day of their meet-up and Todoroki had never been this excited and nervous before. However, this made Deku more annoyed than he had ever been, since he was scared of what could happen if Bakugo really wasn’t Todoroki’s soulmate. No matter what he did, it did not help Todoroki to calm down in any way and only made him more jumpy.

“Let’s just go,” Todoroki said, “maybe meeting him will will make me realise he’s not my type or something..” And they decided to go.

Their plan was to meet up in front of a really cute cafe, which none of them had ever been to before. It was known to be a cafe for friends to spend their time in while playing boardgames, which both Todoroki and Bakugo had wanted to try with each other. To make it less awkward, Deku was coming with Tdoroki, while Bakugo had Kirishima by his side.

“FUCK YOU, ORANGE JUICE!” Todoroki heard in the distance.

Was it the bartender? Or a random customer? Would he really meet his soulmate now, right when he’s meeting up with his crush that he had no chance with?

He turned around to see that in fact, the one yelling had been Bakugo. Even though what he said was not meant for him, he could sense that he really was his soulmate.

He went up to him and whispered: “Calm down, dickhead,” and Bakugo froze..

Blushes and Mascara

Summary: Phil is featured in one of Dan’s makeup videos and is very confused and scared.

Word Count: 1.5k

Tags: Fluff and just freaking fluff. Mentions of pastel!Dan

A/N: I’m not really proud of this because this has been a draft for a while lol. I just wanted to get something out and I enjoyed the concept of Dan having a makeup channel? Yes please. I’m sorry if it’s extremely shitty. (Excuse me if I made any mistakes!) (What is this title?) Also, I know absolutely nothing about makeup as I don’t use it? So sorry if I said something wrong or extremely stupid.

- Runa

Dan and Phil both loved doing Youtube for many different reasons. They were able to do the things they were passionate about and genuinely enjoy and managed to make a living off of it while simultaneously providing content for other people. Although their content was completely different, they always managed to feature one in the other’s videos, which people really did love. A lot of people thought they were a cute couple, even though they were almost opposites regarding content. However, that never stopped them from being in each other’s videos and actually enjoying it.

Dan’s channel was a makeup channel where he reviewed makeup, tried makeup products, or simply did different looks with whatever products he purchased. People genuinely did enjoy his content because of his adorable personality and how honest he was. His pastel persona also contributed to his content and people loved his overall aesthetic on his channel.

Phil on the other hand enjoyed talking about random things. He loved to tell stories about his odd encounters with enigmatic people or simply people who he thought were being weird towards him. His personality was extremely bubbly and honest and many people loved him because he just spoke and no one ever got bored. Phil’s spontaneity was mostly what captured people’s attention and he really couldn’t be happier.

Everyone from Dan’s platform loved it when Phil was in Dan’s videos. It wasn’t really for the makeup, but mostly for how cute they were when they were together. So, after so many people have been asking for such a long time, Dan finally decided to bring Phil back on his channel. Phil didn’t mind at all really. Sure, he wasn’t really for putting makeup on his own face or anything of that sort, but he was happy to help Dan in whatever he did makeup wise. He learned to appreciate it as an art and really didn’t mind it from time to time.

“Hello internet! Today, I’m back by popular demand,” Dan gave a cheeky smile to the camera, causing Phil to laugh from behind a pastel pink pillow he was hiding behind.

“You guys have been constantly asking me to do another collab with one of my favorite Youtubers ever and who am I to deny the people of what they want?” Phil looked at Dan from behind the pillow and lightly smiled.

“I’m one of your favorite Youtubers?” He asked him quietly.

“Of course, babe,” Dan assured him. “It’s Phil!” He took the pillow from Phil, revealing his face.

“Hello,” he waved, “I’ve just woken up so I’m sorry if I look like a mess,” he slightly frowned. Dan looked at him and smiled.

“You look great, baby,” he said as he fixed his hair. His quiff was slightly out of place and his voice was also slightly huskier, since he of course had just woken up.

“Anyway, today I’ve decided that I was going to do my daily makeup routine on Phil’s face. I can’t believe I’ve actually never done that before,” Dan rolled his eyes, “but I might be a bit extra with it just to make it better,”

“You’re going to make me extra pretty?” Phil smiled at him as he watched him gather his products.

“You’re already pretty,” Dan pecked his lips, “Let’s get started,” he sang.

“First, we are going to put on some foundation which will be slightly difficult considering you’re so pale,” Phil looked at him, playfully offended.

“Rude,” he laughed as he watched Dan prepare the foundation to put on his face.

“Give me your face,” Dan told him, laughing afterwards as he realized what he’d said.

“Do you want me to take it off or something?” Phil giggled as Dan gently smacked him on the arm.

“Shut up and let me work, you buffoon,” he told Phil as he began to spread the foundation on his boyfriend’s face.

“Why does it smell so good?” Phil asked.

“Does it?” Dan smelled the back of his hand where the foundation was, grimacing after he smelled it, “it doesn’t. What’s wrong with you?” He laughed at his boyfriend.

“It smells good to me, I don’t know,” he laughed.

After finishing with the foundation, Dan moved onto the next item he was to put on Phil’s face.

“Now I shall conceal your ugly spots,” Dan announced.

“Hey!”

“That’s what I call them! You’re beautiful baby, don’t worry,” Dan kissed Phil’s lips. He applied the concealer to different parts of his boyfriend’s face, blending them afterwards.

“Well what’s the point of that if you already put on foundation?” Phil questioned him.

“Foundation won’t fix everything, Phil,” Dan told him as though it was the most obvious thing ever.

“Well I don’t know! It seems like you’re clogging your pores for no reason,” Dan snorted.

“Shut up,” he laughed. Next, he moved onto the next item, which he displayed and explained the name of.

“What is that? It looks like a frosting palette.” Dan shook his head at his boyfriend.

“It’s eyeshadow. You know what this is, I use it all the time!”

“Yeah, but why’s the packaging so weird and mesmerizing?” Dan shrugged his shoulders as he laughed at his boyfriend.

“You’re so weird. It’s makeup, Phil. Now close your eye,” Dan instructed.Phil shut his eyes tight, causing Dan to laugh loudly, “not so tight, you spoon. I need to cover your eyelid properly,”

“Oh my god that feels so weird,” Phil complained.

“Oh get over it,”

“How do you do this without feeling uncomfortable? I feel like I’m being stabbed in my eye,”

“Stabbed in your eye? Phil, you’re so over-dramatic,” Dan laughed at how inane his boyfriend was. “It’s not even that bad,”

“You’ve been doing this for like 5 years, of course you’d say that. Why do the brushes feel like this?” Phil was cringing in his seat and Dan couldn’t help but laugh.

“This st shows how much you don’t do your makeup. I figured You’d get used to this by now.”

“I’m sure every video of yours I’m in, I complain about these things. They’re so weird,” Philld him.

“You’re weird,”

“You’re weirder,” Phil smiled.

“Whatever,” Dan told him with a small smile on his face, “now I’m gonna curl your lashes,” he said as he presented an eyelash curler.

“What the hell? What is this contraption? Are you trying to pull my eyes out?” Phil asked him, genuinely terrified. Dan laughed at his boyfriend.

“I need to curl your eyelashes before I put mascara on them,”

“Dan are you trolling me? I’ve never seen you use that!” Phil covered his face with his hand as he stared at the device in Dan’s hand.

“It won’t do anything just let me do it, okay?” Dan giggled as he brought it close to Phil’s face.

“No, I can’t! What if you pull my eyelashes out or something?!”

“I won’t I promise!” Dan reassured him as he clamped the curler on his boyfriend’s eyelashes. Phil quietly screamed and Dan just laughed at him. When he finished, he pulled away and looked at his boyfriend with an amused look.

“Have you died?”

“Yes, I have. I feel like you pulled out my eyelashes,” Phil told him as he reached for his eyelashes, making sure they were still there.

“Oh get over it,” He said as he reached for the mascara, “look up,”

“Don’t poke me in the eye,” Phil said in a high pitched voice.

“Why are you so scared of everything,” Dan laughed as he applied the mascara to Phil’s curled eyelashes.

“Because makeup is scary! Like, why the hell would you use an eyelash curler and easily risk losing your eyelashes?” Dan tried to stay still as he laughed at his boyfriend. “Stop laughing! You’re gonna get it in my eye!”

“That’s what he said,” Dan mumbled as he finished Phil’s eyelashes. Phil glared at him for the dirty joke.

“Shut up,” he laughed.

After a few more minutes of doing Phil’s face, Dan was finally finished with his boyfriend’s makeup. He looked at his work and thought he’d done a decent job.

“You wanna see it,” Phil nodded with a smile on his face.

Dan turned the mirror towards his face and Phil was surprised. Of course he’d put on makeup before from Dan, but he’d never really fully done his face before.

“Oh my god, babe this is great,” he praised. Dan beamed with a tiny blush.

“Really? You like it?” He asked him softly. Phil put the mirror down and pulled Dan close to him by the waist.

“I love it, Bear,” He reassured him as he gave him a kiss on his lips. Dan blushed harder as he kissed is boyfriend back lovingly.

“You might have to cut this out,” Phil mumbled against his boyfriend’s lips as they continued to kiss for longer than they intended. Dan hummed against his lips as he pulled his head closer to him, wrapping his arms around his neck.

“Mm, we’ll see how it flows,” he responded.

After a few minutes, they finally decided to separate and end the video shortly after.

“I hope you enjoyed me beating my boyfriend’s face once aga-”

“I’m sorry, what?” Phil laughed as Dan rolled his eyes.

“Goodbye!” They waved and finally turned off the camera.

Duckmans Guide on how not to pick up women.

Hello there friends! Your friendly neighborhood Duckman here, with some advice on how NOT to approach women on the internet. I’m going to go through some common tactics I’ve seen in use, and talk about where we’re going wrong with this, mmmkay? Fair warning, I’m looking at this from a fairly heterosexual world view, because that’s what I mostly know.

REMINDER: There are ALWAYS exceptions to everything. This is just how not to offend the VAST MAJORITY of women. This list is not all inclusive, it only calls out behavior I’ve seen a bunch.

Penis Pictures- Oh my god, guys, men, friends, please for the love of god stop doing this. Unless somewhere on her profile it states ‘Please send me pictures of your penis as a way of introduction,’ she is NOT interested in opening up a new message to see your schlong. While opening up with the cock shot does reveal to her your intentions, it does not engage her interest. To be perfectly honest, most man pole looks the same as the others, and rarely is interesting enough to be the star of the show. Trust me friends, when you’ve flirted with a girl for a while, there may come a time when she asks to see the might of your manhood. Then, and only then, when she has verbally acknowledged a desire to see your meatstick, that’s when you whip it out.

Random Friend Request From Nowhere: All right guys, I know what it’s like. You’re on a cool site like Facebook, or fetlife, and you see a pretty face. You admire her pictures, you think you two could click, so you send her a friend request, right? WRONG. Let’s look at this from two aspects here-

Facebook-The majority of women on Facebook are not there looking for dates, or hook ups. The ones who are, are likely in groups that advocate that… and it’s still not okay to send them that random friend request. Facebook, as a platform, is generally best used to talk to people you already know, be it from real life interactions, or some other way online. People on facebook are looking to interact with friends and family, not Joe Schmoe who wants to tell them how pretty they are, or wonder if they’re interested in a quickie behind the local bus stop.

Fetlife: Here is where it gets hard (heh heh) for many men. After all, these women are not just posting cute selfies, but naked pictures of their bodies! They MUST be seeking friend with a virile, manly stud such as yourself! Sadly, that’s often a no. See, the wonderful thing about Fetlife is that, in addition to friending people, you can also read their profiles, where they put all sorts of wonderful things about themselves… including, quite often, whether or not they accept friend requests from strangers! So read those profiles, and, if it says they don’t, then don’t try!

Thinking something doesn’t apply to you: So, on a lot of dating sites, they give people space to write a profile. Many people put a lot of effort into these profiles. They will put in said profiles what they are looking for, and who should contact them. It may say things like “I’m a lesbian,” “Not looking for anyone over 50,” or “I’m asexual.” It is your responsibility, as the one reaching out, to read these profiles, and LISTEN to them. If you message a woman who has on her profile “I’m only here to tease people, don’t expect me to put out,” you can not then complain that she doesn’t put out.  It’s also SUPER bad manners to think you can change someones desires, just like that. Some of these distinctions and requests may seem weird to you, or may upset you because they exclude you:

Suck it up buttercup. No one is required to interact with you.

The state of their genitalia: This covers everything from “Are you wet right now?” To “Are you pre op or post op?” Until you are in a relationship with this person, it’s none of your business. Even then, it’s only your business if they make it so. Hey, Hello, hey there, yo, what’s up, how ya doing: All of these greetings are fine, if sometimes exasperating, for people you already know and are good friends with. For people you are trying to flirt with, or otherwise engage with…. It’s not going to get you anywhere. Even in those cases when someone replies, it goes like-

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“What’s up?”

“Not much, You?”

“Not a lot.”

“Okay.”

And as we can plainly see, that gets you nowhere. Engage with these women you’re attempting to woo! Tell them WHY you’re messaging them. (We’ll get into some of the problematic whys further down.) Ask questions. If there is a profile? USE it. Maybe she mentions liking smooth jazz, and so you can ask her fi she’s ever been to a Kenny G concert, or if she talks about being a juggalette, maybe send her a picture of you with a bottle of faygo. (Do not include your naked junk in said picture. See first point.) Talk to her like a real person, ask about her interests, talk about your own, and what you’re seeking.

Hey Beautiful, Gorgeous, Baby, Darling, etc: Now this is one of those variable ones. For the most part, women are not okay with men they do not know appending labels to them. Once you get to know them, this can be a different story… But including it in a first message implies a familiarity that may not be welcome. Not just that, but, well, it’ so played out. Every guy thinks he can be special by telling a girl she’s pretty… So, as a result, a whole lot of girls have heard it all before and it just comes off as one more douchebag.

For the love of god, don’t lead with your fetishes: So, you’re looking for a girl to do naughty things to you. Or one you can do naughty things to. Good for you! You know who doesn’t want to hear it? The MAJORITY of women online. When you send a message that starts off with “You’d look so much better on your knees,” or “I have a 15 gallon drum of industrial strength lube, and a horse farm,” you’re going to scare most people off. Hell, even on fetish sites, you have to remember that not everyone shares your fetishes. Let’s use Fetlife again… The women there have profiles, and nice long lists of what kinks they have interest in. Many of them also have roles set up “Domme,” “Submissive,” “Babygirl,” which indicate what they are looking for. If you go to a lass who is labeled as dominant, and instruct her to get on your knees before you, you’re going to have a bad time.

So, 1) make sure your fetishes click. 2) Make sure she’s LOOKING for that. Generally, if someone is seeking, or romantically/sexually available on any such site, they will make it known. 3) Even if your fetishes do click, and she is looking, don’t assume she’s looking for you.  Sometimes, you’re just not what she wants.

Begging for pics: If she doesn’t know you, and has no reason to care about you, she’s not going to send you naked pictures of herself. Make a relationship/friendship first, and then see what she’s up for. Even then, don’t beg. Ask. If she says no, move on.

I’m a nice guy!:  If you have to tell people you are a nice guy, you sadly aren’t Sorry, yes it’s unfair, but it’s just the way it is. This also applies to ‘feminist,’ ‘not a racist,’ etc… the more you try to claim you are, the more clearly people think you aren’t.

Any references to age: Whether it’s “Oh, you don’t look that old!” or “You look like a minor, so I had to check,” there is no good (easy) way to reference age. While there are some good hard ways, it’s one of these advanced lessons in flirting that we aren’t covering here. Just leave age off the table.

Any references to weight: Okay, SERIOUSLY this is a huge minefield. You have no way to know ahead of time how someone feels about their weight. Especially don’t say things like “I really like bbw,” or “You’re very pretty for a big girl,’ or ‘I usually don’t like big girls, but you’re really pretty.” No, just, no.

Negging: Fuck this shit. Do not tear down women in the hopes of getting somewhere. This is a dick move, and do not do it. Period.

DON’T BE A DOUCHEBAG WHEN YOU ARE TURNED DOWN OR IGNORED!: I see this all the time.

“Hey, you’re beautiful, wanna hang out?”

“No, I have a boyfriend.”

“Fuck you you ugly whore, no one wants you anyways!”

Or

“Hey.

What’s up.

You there?

Wanna fuck?

Listen you bitch, the least you could do is tell me no. Yer a stupid etc etc etc.”

And that last one usually occurs in the span of 15 minutes! Guys, just because it says a girl is online, doesn’t mean she actually is paying attention! And if she doesn’t respond to you, there’s a reason! Elsa that shit, and let it go! For the love of god, there is no reason to insult a girl just because she’s not interested. There are billions of people on this planet. The vast majority of them are not interested in you… and that’s okay! Be the bigger man, tip your hat to her, and walk away. It’s ok, you won’t hurt yourself doing it, it doesn’t make you less of a man, just let it be.

Pushing: I mentioned it above, but I feel it needs its own. For the love of god, don’t keep pushing. If someone says “I have no interest in making you my toilet,” then, what they mean is “I have no interest in making you my toilet.” You can not turn a no into a yes by being annoying about it. In fact, all you do is make that no more intense.

Thinking you know better than her: We get told a lot in society that no means yes. That women don’t know their own mind. And, we see this reflected in mens approached to women. You get guys telling a girl they know her real place is underneath him, or being his baby girl, or that she’ll actually like sex with him, as opposed to all the other times she tried. A woman knows her own mind. Take what she says at face value. If she means something different, she’ll tell you.

Wrap up: So, in the end, how do you approach women on line?

Carefully.

Remember, you’re not the only one approaching them. There’s lots of guys out there seeking the same thing. You need to prove that you’re interesting, not a creep, and worth talking to. You need to show them you are personable, friendly, funny, charming, witty, clever... You know, all the things they are looking for.

You also need to go into any attempted encounter with the understanding that friendship is not taking second place. If you cultivate a friendship, you have someone you can talk to about stuff, hang out with, and you know, be friends. Men and women can be friends without sex in the way. And, here’s a tip, straight from the Ducks Bill: If you have female friends, real friends, people who know who you are, and know you’re not just friends with them in hopes of trying to get some from them, THEY WILL HELP YOU GET A GIRL. No, seriously, if they know you’re a real good guy, and not a Good Guy™ who is just pretending, they will introduce you to their single friends. Seriously, it works!

So, be a good person, get laid. End of Guide.

aLBoP a Scam? Drama, Scandal, Ooh Ahh!

Once upon a time, last winter, we moved A Little Bit of Personality to WordPress from Blogger. It was a long, tedious process with a lot of formatting (which on some posts I’m still not pleased with). The site was down for almost a month. All the urls changed, even though I went through and made redirects for as many as I could.  And all our Google+ comments got removed (which honestly was part of the point of moving platforms.  It was being an annoying system).

All this led to the complex set of algorithms which is Google Search to be very confused as to what was important on aLBoP.  When you Googled aLBoP or A Little Bit of Personality, suddenly it was trying to give search results of random image links and obscure posts, instead of things people really wanted to find, such as Type Specializations, the Super Simple Series or Type Heroes.

It also didn’t help that we were working on other aspects of aLBoP and life in general, so posting has been a slow game all year.  As I understand it, Google prioritizes frequent posting, as well as Google+ shares (nepotism lol), neither of which were in our favor anymore.

But this also meant that non-aLBoP links, especially from popular sites, suddenly came up much earlier in search results.  One in particular, with the most click-bait-y subject line ever, notably rose to the first page of search results right away: a forum thread with the subject line “A Little Bit of Personality Blog: Is it a scam or did I overreact?”

Well if the promise of a scam won’t get people to listen to you, I don’t know what will.  Talk about the most buzzwordy word possible lol.

Ha, which just now when I Googled to be sure I was quoting the name of the thread correctly, I saw something relieving which I didn’t know, but I’ll talk about that in a minute here.

So I have never clicked on this link, I’m pretty sure. As soon as we were live again on WordPress, I was trying to make sure that Google had our sitemap, working on our SEO, etc., so I believe I saw that link there as early as January 2017.  And seeing it there immediately upset me, not gonna lie.  But I wanted to listen to the immortal words of Taylor Swift and shake it off.  Plus I had way too many other things to worry about, not the least of which was continuing to be sure my links went where they said.  And I also knew that reading people lying about me would just upset me and keep me from getting things done.  So I went on with life and working on content like INTJ – The Dragon, which came out in February.

But apparently a lot of my aLBoP friends, (people who we’ve met through their long-time reading and loving of the site, but have become so very much more than just readers, as so many of you have ) had seen this link too, and several of them were even more upset than I was about it.  They checked it out on their own and then came and told me about who had posted on the “scam” thread and what they had said.

As soon as Justin and I heard what the original poster of the thread had said, we were immediately like “Oh, him.”

Now before I go briefly into what this guy’s “grievances” were, let me tell you what I was relieved to see this afternoon while writing.  When I Googled “a little bit of personality” and saw this link there, not actually clicking on it (it’s gross enough to smell a pile of poop, I don’t want to put my hand in it), it says under the link:

“Oct 2, 2015 – 10 posts – 4 authors” [emphasis added]

*Whew* when my friends were describing what was on there to me, I thought it was like pages and pages of all these people saying how much I suck!  To know that it’s just four people, two of which I know who they are and knew that they were like that before they even had anything to complain about, is incredibly relieving.

Okay, so four people. I don’t know who two of them are because I haven’t actually read the thread, although it’s likely I would know them too.

Most of the people who get really angry about aLBoP are ones who liked us at first, often even people who vied heavily for our attention initially, until we say something that offends them, or more often their worldview, and then they hate us with the burning passion of suns and must tell anyone who will listen.  Although I don’t think there is a single one of those people who we didn’t get a red flag in our minds at their first email, “watch out, this is one of those kinds of people” no matter how positive they were toward us at first.  Observing people is our job, after all.

Person 1

So with this particular guy, the one who started the “scam” thread, *sigh* I knew from his first email “ah, one of those.”

He bought a typing + personal chat package from the store, sometime around then in 2015.  We don’t actually carry personal chat time anymore, because it was taking way too much time and we were getting behind. We actually *still* have some out that we sold but haven’t done.  We will either go ahead and do those ones at some point, or refund their money.  But I know there were several really cool people who ordered them near the end, so I would really like to fulfill those at some point here, rather than refunding them.

Anyway, we don’t carry them anymore because they had gotten really stressful and after we had a forum, which we’ll talk more about later, we thought people can get their questions answered there anyway, answer each other’s questions, etc.

We’ve never been especially timely with Typings, but we do always get to them.  I don’t remember how timely we were fulfilling this guy’s order. We do them in big batches, usually, where we sit down and type a bunch of people at once, oldest order first.  So if we took a while to get back to him it wasn’t at all because he was a less pleasant customer, because the time we take has nothing to do with that.  So if you have to wait a while for your Typing, it’s not because we don’t like you, lol <3 (If we’re ever taking too long, you *can* send us a polite email and ask if we can go ahead and get on it.  But we always do get to it and we always feel really bad making people wait.)

Oddly, I vaguely remember doing this guy’s really fast anyway, so I don’t think that was part of the problem. We may have been like “this guy is a live wire, we shouldn’t let his sit too long.”  We do occasionally do that.

Anyway, if I understand correctly, his main reasoning in calling us a “scam” is that the following happened:

1)  He ordered a typing + a video chat.

2)  We felt immediately “eh” about him, but fulfilled his typing order in a normal and polite fashion.

I think it was his condescending attitude toward people in general in his first email that seemed like #badsign to me.

3)  He was displeased with the type we gave him.  We have a post about this.

No matter how consistent and repeatable the results are, no matter how many people are over the moon about our typing of them, no matter how many people are repeat typing-customers because they see how it all lines up over and over again in real life; there are so many people who are set on the type or set of types they want to be a part of, and therefore who dislike the type we give them.  But the way we Facial Type is a science, with consistent data-sets that have proven universally consistent thousands of times, holding up over time and experience.  We can’t go changing the answer because somebody gets his panties in a wad.

There are also plenty of people who are personally threatened by the idea of Facial Typing at all, or just very uncomfortable about it.  You are welcome to feel however you want on the topic.  But I don’t understand why people order from us if they feel that way.

It’s like someone coming across town to tell you he thinks your house is ugly.  I feel like “… Okay, thanks?  Then don’t look at it and get off my lawn.”  The internet is a big place and no one is making you stay here.  Honestly there’s probably a more fitting analogy with someone who hates seafood yelling at Red Lobster or someone buying an orange and getting mad that it’s not an apple, but eh, I like the lawn one.

4)  We don’t give refunds on Typings we have fulfilled.  We never have, and say so very clearly on the Type Me page, which has all the instructions. That page didn’t exist in its current version at the time, but we have always listed that on pages describing the Typing process.

The effort and our typing results are what is being paid for, and people who get snotty about their results take far *more* effort than people who are happy with them.  That’s not to say you are required to be happy, but that even if you are not, our time and our results have still been given to you, so we can’t just refund that.  If you don’t trust our scientific process and our definitions, then that is completely your prerogative.  But if that’s the case, then please don’t order a typing and waste our time, as well as yours.

5)  He also applied to the, at the time, brand new Phase 2, via a separate self-invite system.

Okay, the thing to know about all our websites is that they are 100% free, always are, always have been, always will be.  We currently have—*counts*—4 websites.  They all have free admission and no subscription fees or anything of that nature.  The only things we charge money for as part of aLBoP are specific services and merchandise. That used to include video chats, which as I said we don’t offer anymore, and now includes Personalized Typings and, hopefully in the future, merchandise such as t-shirts (you can buy t-shirts here, but I really want to make more designs and figure out a better system for producing them), patches or whatever other physical or digital items you guys might want to buy.  We do not have any premium content, if the definition of “premium” is content you pay for.

All other funds from aLBoP come to us via Patreon where people can support our content, which helps us produce more of it, or via Love for aLBoP, one-time donations in the aLBoP shop.  (Everyone has been remarkably patient as I haven’t been great at giving out everyone’s Patreon rewards, such as the monthly desktop wallpaper for $5+ people, etc. But I really am excited to do that and plan to do it sooooon.  Not one person has said anything about it yet, I just feel really bad because your support means so much to me. <3)

HOWEVER, we do have content that is restricted to people we have given access. Like I said, we have 4 websites, of which this is the first; Phase 1 as we call it. Yes, this is a blatant reference to S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Phase 2 in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Why, yes, we are giant nerds.  Here, have a picture of stick figure Phil Coulson with his gun from Avengers, if you haven’t seen it on the Phase 2 Intro site.

But while we do gate these websites–the Phase 2 Intro behind a self-invite you can use right now if you want (it’ll open up in a new tab so you don’t have to lose your spot here <3), and Phase 2 gated behind applying and us getting to know you—ALL of them are free.  Let me repeat that: none of our websites cost any money.  (The fourth site only has a few people on it so far and it’s still under construction anyway, but it’ll have a similar kind of gating.)  These websites are provided free of charge, including our time spent on the Phase 2 forum, where we give lots of personal help and advice.  We don’t even have ADS on any of the websites!!!! (Although we are considering adding them to our videos, because we find that less invasive.)

6)  Where was I?  Oh yeah, he had applied for Phase 2, but then we were busy and hadn’t gotten to adding people to the new Phase 2, back before the process was automated.

7)  He sent an annoying displeased email.  I could pull up said email now to remember the details (I never delete aLBoP emails from anyone, which is why my Gmail storage is exploding), but I really really don’t want to.

But I recall that he was firstly, really whiny about his typing.  I don’t remember if he actually said he couldn’t be an F, like we had typed him, or if that was just the impression we got from his email, which is a very common tale, especially with people who hold onto the internet’s definition of Feeler.  Men typed as Fs and women typed as Ts have been trends in our grumpiest clientele, because people believe that Feeler means soft like mush and Thinker means Vulcan, and people equate those to feminine and masculine traits, respectively, which is frankly pretty dumb.  Although I can only blame people so much for wanting certain types, when the internet deems some types so wildly more worthwhile than others.  However, how people react when they’re disappointed says a lot about them.

The second thing that really got our eyes rolling about his email was his attitude that because he had given us money, he owned our time.  Money seemed like his main card to play, which makes all the more sense why he made money the focus of his thread title, calling us a scam.  Anyway, it was a very “but you have to do what I say, I paid you,” attitude.

But if you’re not sure on my character judgment of him, go ahead and look at the thread.  I haven’t read it, but if he doesn’t come off whiny and like someone who feels like money makes him entitled, then I will eat my hat. Well, I won’t, but it’s the only idiom I could think of.  But if you don’t agree then you won’t agree, and that’ll be the end of it, but at least I will have left the opinion up to you.

8)  So we saw from his email, which wasn’t a surprise from his original email, that we didn’t want to waste time and energy having a personal chat with him.  We also didn’t want him on the brand new forum, which as a private, free forum was our prerogative.

9)  So I sent him an email telling him that we would refund the chat money because we didn’t want to talk to him more and that he was the first person banned from the forum, which was true.

I think we only actually banned… 2.5 people ever.  I say 2.5 because we officially banned 2 people from ever entering the original site, and were close to banning another, but he quit before we could fire him, so to speak.

Was I especially nice in this email reply?  No. I wasn’t trying to be.  I wanted to really let him know why we didn’t want to deal with him anymore, and frankly he was a buttmunch.  Again, you can go look at the thread if you want to verify his buttmunch-itude.

10)  WE REFUNDED HIS VIDEO CHAT.

Again, like I said in point 5… No… 4, we don’t give out refunds for typings. We had fulfilled that part of the deal, so we kept our $15 dollars (I know, huge quantities of money being exchanged ), but refunded him the $10 for the video chat we didn’t give him.  He was our first refund; we had to figure out how to do it on the website.

11)  I think he probably replied again, angrily, but I was super done with it.

12)  Shortly after (we launched Phase 2 on September 15 and he wasn’t in the first several batches of applications, so he probably rage posted pretty quickly), he started that thread.

Apparently his reading comprehension was limited enough that he thought paying for a video chat was paying for Phase 2…I guess… Even though you would have to read the Phase 2 announcement page from the time to even apply… idk. I’ll give him the limited benefit of the doubt that he was more stupid than flat-out lying… Stupid isn’t a nice word, it implies mental limitations and implies that if other people missed information, I think they’re stupid too, which I don’t.  “Making the decision to be willfully idiotic” is a much more fitting term.  I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he was being willfully idiotic, rather than flat-out lying.

13)  I thankfully haven’t heard from him since and hope he finds happiness despite his buttmunchiness. Totally a word.

Anyway, you can have any opinion you want about my choices in responding to him, but since he had no purchase that wasn’t either fulfilled or refunded, he has zero claim to a scam.  Although, you know, I’m really rolling in his fifteen bucks.  *Evil laugh*

  Person 2

The other person who I know wrote on the “scam” thread, got upset in the very earliest days of the forum. It was a lot of drama in a short period of time that happened… two years ago today! [At time of writing, which was the middle of September.]  Holy crap, I didn’t know that when I started writing.  Happy anniversary to drama .

There was a lot of drama in those early days of the forum as we were attempting to establish an atmosphere different than so many forums and so much of the internet.  This other person wasn’t the only one involved at the time, but since other people didn’t feel the need to run my name through the mud, I don’t feel the need to address their personal issues with aLBoP.

This woman was INFP and I’m referring to her by her type since I have no intention to be petty enough to share her name.  That doesn’t mean I think all INFPs are that way *obviously,* it’s just easier than saying “woman” on repeat, because that’s weird.

But, as I’m sure she talked about on the thread in question, she thought we were harsh and mean on our forum in a way that she deemed “never called for.”  She was referring to one particular forum post of mine.  Here’s what happened, from my perspective:

If you are unfamiliar with cognitive typing, you will need to know that ESTPs like to poke for reactions.  It’s how they interact with the world, which is a good thing.  And because motives and character judgment is their primary Type of Information, it really really matters to them what people are really like. They hate fakeness, perhaps most of all the EPs, and attempt to cut through the crap of pretension (wow I had no idea that was spelled with an s instead of a t, interesting), or fake nicety, by catching people off guard and seeing how they react.  Reactions are an EP’s bread and butter, after all.

So since very early aLBoP, there was this ESTP.  Great way to start a story lol. And he had been all over the internet and in real life, and had seen people being crappy on repeat, so he was used to that as the norm rather than the exception. We can all relate with that.

So when he found aLBoP he immediately began his routine “poking for legitimacy” like a 19th century miner biting a gold coin lol.  But because of the crappy he had experienced, he was used to having to poke oftenly and fairly hard to see what was really inside someone.

But when he first began poking at aLBoP, I didn’t know this backstory.  I just saw that the same guy was commenting on *every* new post, and giving me pokie lip on each one lol.  He would comment things on each post, trying to get a reaction, commenting about how I said this or that, or on what he’d read elsewhere that disagreed.  And at first I was just like “>:( leave me aloooone! If you don’t like the posts, why are you here??”

But that was the thing, he kept staying around.  I didn’t get it.  I felt like his comments meant he didn’t like the posts, so why didn’t he just move on?  And the comments were getting more positive over time, usually just with something pokie at the end or something.  And he ordered a typing from us and I was like “What???  Well, I guess he does trust us some… Huh…”  That was before Facial Typing, but when I realized his type it just made all the sense.  (I have obviously since seen his face and it was spot on what we predicted, for the record.  Take that people who try and pretend this isn’t a science .  When it can accurately predict what people will look like before we see their faces.)  And he had really been open about himself in his typing emails (of which there were several, telling us about himself, which is so adorably ESTP lol <3), and I was already liking him a lot more already.  And then he posted pokie comments on the Spartan, being skeptical and I’d feel grumpy about him again, but as much as I wasn’t a fan of the way he was poking, feeling like “how many times are you going to have to poke me before you’ll believe I’m legit? :P”, I did still really like him and care about him, and was starting to appreciate his bold, frank, poking sense of humor.

But this back and forth dance of poking and a surprising growing loyalty we saw from him about aLBoP, was at an interesting place right before we launched Phase 2.  I remember he had left a really sweet comment on SS:P2 (which isn’t there anymore because we moved, remember?) and I was feeling really supported and happy about him.  And yet because of this history, and the fact that I was aware the poking was still strong with him, lol, Justin and I were nervous about him as we came up to launching Phase 2.  I remember three individuals that we were worried about with it and this ESTP was one of them. But like I said, we liked him too, so Justin and I had high hopes about the whole situation as we launched.

Now, if you haven’t read what is now the Phase 2 Intro, and don’t know about what kind of content we have over there, it’s not only more in depth than what we have here on Phase 1, it’s about understanding yourself in a very core way, even deeper inside than cognition even, which is why we didn’t want it to be drive-by internet bait.  It’s not secret, but we think it’s pretty special, and we wanted to foster an environment of reading-comprehension and self-examination, for this information that is intended to help individuals grow, for people who want to do that. Like I said, it’s pretty special to us, and we’ve had immensely special experiences seeing it work in the lives of others as well as ourselves <3.

But because of the crap he’d experienced, and because most of the time Motives aren’t treated as a valid Type of Information, even after all the times he’d poked us, this ESTP felt very wary as he came onto Phase 2 and began reading the new information.  It was all new stuff and lifted the ceiling on his own potential, making him worried he was going to be judged unfairly for things he didn’t know yet (I hope that’s a fair assessment of his feelings at the time).  And so he sort of acted out about it.  From what he said later, he skimmed the Intro, feeling grumpy about it from the very beginning of the information, and went to the fresh new forum even more wary than he had started.

He read the forum rules, which we had written purposely open-ended, talking about attitudes that weren’t acceptable on the aLBoP forum, and referenced content from the Intro in showing how those attitudes would be identified.  Having been treated unfairly other places for doing the “wrong” action (his last step and mine), and I think feeling grumpy about the new information being referenced again, like he was expected to know everything right away or, like I said, be judged unfairly, our ESTP’s first forum post was a criticism of the forum rules, saying they were too open ended and wouldn’t work.  I remember in one of his posts in this conversation, he said that other forums’ rules were better and said it would be better to be like every other forum, which was the opposite of what we were aiming for.

Justin replied very nicely to him, explaining that he wasn’t expected to know everything yet, and to just relax and settle in, trying to encourage him to get comfortable and let us worry about whether or not we could reasonably make it better than other forums.

(I swear, I don’t know why people consistently treat Justin like he’s going to be the intense, harsh one. 9 times out of 10 *I* play bad cop, not him.  Which people don’t expect from me because I’m adorable and smiley, lol, and the unsuspected nature of it works in my favor.)

But our ESTP (running out of ways to say that) was still feeling upset from the Intro, and didn’t want to be soothed about the topic, still arguing about it being unfair.  I think some others might have talked too at that point?  Don’t remember.  But it was a particular “won’t let this go” thing iirc.

And we were working so hard on the atmosphere of this baby forum.  Justin and I were getting about 2 hrs of sleep a night, trying to help the forum feel like a safe place where people could actually talk about things, and this was the last thing it needed.  And I was so done with this ESTP’s mood and attitude at that moment.  He was being so stubborn (which I lovingly joke ST stands for sometimes, lol <3) and obstinate, and I decided “no more!”

I sat down and wrote a reply post that was intended to smack him upside the head, hard, and say “Stop it!  I think you can be better than this!  Are you going to prove me wrong?!”  It was an intense post, not gonna lie. I actually remember very little about it besides my calculated fury and the fact that I quoted XKCD.  And I said he wasn’t allowed to say “I didn’t do any specific actions wrong, you can’t call me on my bad attitude and intentions.”  Oh and I may have said he was acting like a “dick” at some point … Yeah, apologies, that is a phrase I use, not actually on Phase 1 before this point.  It’s just so concise and jerk is just not strong enough sometimes!!  Is it bad that it’s a little bit funny looking back at how intense I got, since it’s been very resolved on that front since?  Like I’m kind of embarrassed that I am that intense of a person.  You know, as if someone took a picture of my battle face and I’m looking back at it now like  “That’s what I look like angry, huh?”

Which isn’t to say that I rage posted.  I don’t rage post.  Case in point, how the thread that sparked this whole post is now over two years old, and I began writing this post over a month ago.  I am meticulous and thorough and attempt to predict the reactions my words and choices will evoke, as is my one-true-mental-love as an ENTP.

I stayed up all night writing that post, trying to imagine how he would reply to different parts and trying not to let him wiggle out of it, and yet wanting to give him the opportunity to do better if he wanted to.

I am a very passionate person, I’ll give you that for sure.  People and things mean more to me than I can ever say, often against my will.  But that means while I get really truly incensed about plenty of topics, I will never write an angry message to someone if I have no hope of getting through to them.  Like this post for example; there’s a reason it isn’t addressed to the people over on that thread.  I have hopes of actually communicating with very many of *you,* however I won’t try and communicate with them.  I don’t have any hope that that would do squat.

Ask Justin’s brother, also ETP, sometime about the intense face-slap email I sent him, he’s definitely never forgotten it.  But I would never have sent it if I didn’t respect him and his ability to apply things and desire to grow.  (He replied epically to it, btw.)  If I ever get truly angry with you, and let you know it, know that I respect you enough to believe it’ll make a difference to address the issue with you.

ETPs need to be poked as much as poke (saying that is going to get me into trouble with people lovingly poking me, heh), and I wanted to poke this ESTP hard enough to get a reaction of change, and I poked as hard as I felt he personally needed, based on knowing him personally and knowing his cognition.

But the INFP woman in question immediately replied informing us that you never ever ever (need a bunch more evers) speak to someone that way!  She said we were mean and rash and harsh and she would have no part in it!  And for the record, she was definitely not the only one concerned.

The post I wrote *was* in fact harsh, but it was not a knee-jerk reaction.  It was a calculated move decided upon, based on love for the person I was talking to, and the hope that snapping him out of the way he was acting would induce him to be *more*, which I hoped he could be.

And if you consider “lovingly harsh” to be an oxymoron—if you believe that there could never be a situation where harshness would be the appropriate reaction in order to get through to someone you care about—then this may not be the place for you, especially the later Phases of aLBoP.  aLBoP is a place for adults to come of age, and attitudes that say “you always deal with people this way or that way” are, frankly, childish and therefore wouldn’t fit in with the atmosphere of aLBoP’s later Phases.

We deal with people on a case by case basis, not by one-size-fits-all rules, and this was actually what I thought would be most effective.  And to be honest, it worked.  He immediately stopped in his tracks and said “I’m sorry, what can I do differently?”  Honestly, his reaction was much more epic and adult than I expected it to be, but I did anticipate that the best way to handle an ESTP acting that way, was to shock him to get his attention, and stop him in his tracks.

But this INFP woman didn’t care whether or not it worked.  She was all too pleased to be indignant.  She told the forum (if I remember correctly) that she was leaving, and also emailed to chastise us again, and to tell us she was leaving.  We emailed her a short but polite “sorry you feel that way” email, but tbh were pretty pleased to see her go.  (Now when I say “polite,” I actually mean polite.  I don’t consider my harsh post in question to be polite, for example, but it wasn’t intended to be polite.)

She was actually one that we *did* have a video chat with before we even launched Phase 2 (you guys see why I didn’t want to carry them in the store anymore?), after we had typed her.  And while we made it very pleasant and answered all the questions she had, to her stated satisfaction, Justin and I both could tell there was something about aLBoP that made her very uncomfortable.  He and I discussed afterward, “that was good… right?” “yeah, but we had to make it good.”  I could go into the ins and outs of what made her uncomfortable, things having to do with her Type Angst, blah blah blah, but that just seems petty at this point.  Interestingly, I talked about her in What if I’m not the Type I Thought I Was and referred to her as a “cool INFP.”

I was being nice.

I will say, disappointingly, that there has definitely been an FP trend among the people who have been the least cool about aLBoP.  I mean, I know soooo many cool FPs, and I suspect we get more of them, quantity-wise, since their Type Specs are all about the meaning that they can get out of Individuals and Situations <3 and I think and hope that aLBoP is right down that alley.  But when an unhealthy FP feels like we’re a threat to their own personal meaning, watch out!  We’ve especially had a lot of ESFP and ENFP guys (more often guys than girls, interestingly) who have approached us as “nice guys” with obvious warning signs, that when they ended up showing their true colors were anything but nice.  I won’t go into tales of the one who wouldn’t stop emailing me in all-caps not-so-nice words, or the one who spammed comments about how ENTPs didn’t have feelings.  I don’t make character judgments flippantly, especially negative ones.  And unfortunately, my spotting of warning signs has proved depressingly accurate, as individuals have demonstrated with later actions.

But in a twist of couldn’t-get-more-ironic, the reason I decided to write this post was because Justin was chatting with the very ESTP she had said I was abominably too hard on.  He’s been one of our biggest supporters ever since, both in having our backs with emotional support and sharing aLBoP, and he’s been ridiculously generous on Patreon (I hope it’s okay to share that, I never know what is couth when it comes to talking about money and donations ).

Lol, when he found out about people discussing him on that thread he was like “Hey, they’re talking about me!  That’s pretty cool.” ROFL, could he *be* any more ESTP?!  Idec, I love you, you are seriously amazing and I can learn a lot from how you let stuff roll off of you!! <3

But he had a friend whom he’d been telling about aLBoP, and the friend saw the “scam” link and got wary, so I felt like it was finally time to address this.  I have better things to do than tell people on the internet that they’re wrong, but when it’s deterring other people who are looking for aLBoP, then that’s something I need to try and fix.

*Whew* sorry this has been so long!

But I don’t want you guys to worry that this has delayed posting at all.  The only major posts this year have been The Dragon, like I said, and the Four Types of Love, both of which I am ridiculously proud of, although I have been worried sick about not posting more, especially since you guys have earned it with Patreon all year; don’t think I’ve forgotten it!!

But the reasons we have been gone so much are somewhat other aspects of aLBoP, working on later “Phase” stuff, especially training people who want to help us help all of you guys more, but also working on our own personal situation as well.

In June I was offered a part-time job by an INTJ friend of mine that I really respect, at his business, and I felt like it was the perfect time.  (For the record, he doesn’t know I’ve typed him shhh )  And while I’m really enjoying it and I think it’s benefitting aLBoP, I felt fairly overwhelmed and anxious the first few weeks, so that took a lot of my attention at first.  But really, there’s been plenty of other aspects going on with us working things out to establish ourselves for the long haul.

Which, for the record, the part-time job is in financial planning, so I had to have a background check for it, which I passed, so I guess the FBI doesn’t believe I’m a danger to people’s money if that helps with the whole “scam” thing lol… Unless that’s a ruse and they’re watching me *right now.* O_O  Considering that I’m writing this from the bathtub, that would be super pervy.

However, apparently I have very little fingerprints left, I guess from my skin condition, so I am considering a life of crime.  If anyone has any suggestions, please leave them in the comments below.

Anyway, I have two short Super Simple posts almost done, working on a new format for shorter posts and faster posting, so I hope to get those out to you guys ASAP.  I will make up for all the months I’ve missed, I swear!!  Thank you guys for your patience as always.  And for your trust of us as a source.  I can’t tell you how much it means to me those times when people are impugning our character (which thankfully seems to be happening less and less these days), to know you beloved readers are out there; knowing that you know us, love us and have our backs.  I couldn’t ask for a better audience or better friends. <3

My hope in clearing this up is to just soothe people’s worries and hopefully overcome misleading search results so that new people can find aLBoP every day, and hopefully feel like who they are and the way they think naturally is worthwhile and wanted.

Much love, <3 Calise

The post aLBoP a Scam? Drama, Scandal, Ooh Ahh! appeared first on A Little Bit of Personality.

from aLBoP a Scam? Drama, Scandal, Ooh Ahh!

One last thing on the issue of using the word Retard

Okay, sorry I’ve made so many comments, put down so many questions, and already made a post less than an hour ago, but I’m getting tired of this and want to get my last point out before I stop bothering with this.

I am a fan of the series Glitchtale and @camilaart. The effort she puts in is super impressive, from drawing and time, to thought and detail. Nothing I am about to say is intended to devalue anything Camila has made or continued to make, (heck, why would I still be subscribed to her on twitch (as BlueYoshi15) and give her money if I hated her?) and I will continue to be a fan of her unless she did something actually evil like murder.

I understand that you’ve been going through a pretty shitty Month. You have to deal with stupid asks every day, people rushing your work despite being told not to, and people who just insult you because they don’t like your series on a daily basis. In addition, you had someone upload your work without permission and in defiance of your requests, and then said person ended up getting your video taken down because YouTube doesn’t work. Your main source of revenue was practically taken away from you, which would drive anyone to a nervous wreck. People acted like the guy did nothing wrong even after you made several videos and posts explaining how terrible things were. You’ve probably gotten anxious because you have lost the motivation to animate for a while, which means no progress on episode 4 (unless it happens off stream). So I totally understand why you would not be in the mood to have someone get angry at you when you said a word that you know as being a standard insult.

The problem is that I think that anger has clouded your judgement. And I can’t exactly blame you for being angry beforehand, or for being angry or annoyed when some people go too far in their responses (such as that “lovely” fellow who responded to Jakei).

But there are some things I want to address. To counter some points I’ve seen put forth by yourself or others.

1) “other people On the internet like Markiplier or Pewdiepie say stuff like shit and fuck all the time and they get away with it”: the thing is that retard isn’t just a nasty curse word. It’s been morphed into a slur (more on that later), something which those you tubers generally stay away from (and if I recall, people lost their shit way more when PewDiePie made those anti-Semitic remarks, and have hated him for some of his older, vulgar rape jokes). If you said something like “shitfucktitscocksblowjobhellcrapinanashole” it’d definitely not be child friendly, but it would also be just be average cursing. The problem is that retard is seen as a semi-slur

2) “it’s the internet, I can say what I want”: I won’t deny that. But if you can say what you want, we at least have the right to try and request that you not, along with some reasons why. Is asking more than once too much? Maybe, but it can also sometime help clarify our point.

3) “what gives you guys the right to curse at me”: again, a slur is seen differently from a curse. Though that said, I think those guys who have no patience and act high and mighty compared to you, or the ones that just say stuff like "wow Cami, way to be a real class fucking act" are being self-righteous assholes.

4) “what’s so bad about the word “retard” if I just use it to mean someone of below average intelligence and direct it at someone specific”: as I’ll get into the next point, that word has a different connotation. Yes, the literal definition just means someone who isn’t as smart as the average person, and that kid certainly wasn’t smart. But in America, the word has an additional emotional attachment that has transformed it into a slur for people with mental disabilities. To Americans, Using it like an insult is like unironically using gay as an insult; it implies that it is “wrong” to be retarded even though that can’t be controlled. Some Americans today see it as targeting people with a mental condition instead of calling someone dumb. To make an extreme comparison, it would be like using Oriental. Technically, it means someone of Asian decent. Culturally, it’s been associated as a word meant to make Asians seem like a lower race of beings. Because of the ugly emotional attachment of the word “retard,” it can’t be taken easily be taken lightly even in your given context. I know how you meant for it to be used, but it won’t come off that way to everyone.

5) “Americans and/or SJW’s need to grow up and learn not everything needs to be how they want it.” I fully agree that The USA is terrible about imposing it’s culture on others. I also think that there are SJW’s who overreact to certain issues. But if being Chilean means the word means nothing to you and you shouldn’t be blamed for using it, then being American can mean the words means a lot to us and we can get upset. Do you have to take our view? No. But it feels rude when you give the impression that my country is stupid for having a culture that believes that word is offensive (though maybe I’m reading too deep). As for SJW’s, just be careful with that term. There’s a thin line between someone who’s overzealous and someone who has legitiment grievances with problems, such as people who might, say, try for equal race and sex representation in gaming

6) “I see people with autism who say they don’t mind at all that I used retard, so others should just grow thick skin, especially considering I wasn’t insulting them anyway”:Yes, I understand that you did not intent to insult people with mental disabilities at any point and that you hold no Ill views against them. But there are people who have been hurt by that word. I should know pretty damn well considering how kids in my troop made fun of me for having aspergers. Having a mental condition is horrible when there are people who do make fun of you for it with words like “retard.” So that word cannot be taken easily by everyone who's been bullied for it. Make a TRIGGERED joke if you like, but it really can be like that.

7) “that kid make my life hell and I need to apologize for using a word?”: no. That kid deserves jack-shit for what he tried to pull. It’s not that we’re worried about how he feels about being called a retard. It’s the casual use of the word that’s the issue for most. And also the fact that you defend using that word casually and seemingly haven’t shown any consideration for the points people who take issue make. But if you deserve maybe some explanatory words, he deserves a kick to the balls.

8) “If you knew the context, you would understand”: yes, you used the word to call a single kid dumb. But, as I detailed above, there are people who are uncomfortable that you used the word outside of it the manner it is considered acceptable (someone who clinically is proven to have a mental problem). I admit that I suspect that guy had a problem, but to call him retarded without knowing if he truly is clinically retarded or not seems wrong.

9) “apparently I need to be some bastion of perfection or else I suck.”: no, that’s not it. I don’t think any sensible person expects you to be perfect. But if they are uncomfortable with you using a word, they do have the right to ask you stop using that word because they don't like anyone, either a star or a random joe using the word like that. Whether or not you listen is up to you, but I don’t think it’s too high of an expectation

10) “You guys get angry at me for using a slur when there’s so much worse in the world? You have crappy priorities”: Pardon, but i don’t see how being offended by word use means I don’t worry about anything else. Heck, I’m a liberal American. I have a contractual obligation to get pissed at my government and country every day. But taking some time to write a post or response does not mean ignoring the rest of the world’s problems (though I personally have probably spent way more time on this then I should).

That’s my lengthy post. I probably assumed a lot of wrong stuff here, accused you of saying things you didn’t and gave some people who disagreed with you more credit than they deserved. I know that there are dicks who didn’t bother to try being tactful or diplomatic. And I also Don’t blame you for initially using the term, as you would have no idea of what it meant when you never heard of it’s reputation before. In addition, it was wrong of people to jump down your throats as if you intentionally wanted to insult others. I get that you wouldn’t be in a good mood to listen to them when some of them acted like assholes. I guess I just felt slightly bothered that you acted like people who disagreed with you had no reason to do so.

Also, while I don’t think you would need to scrub the word retard from you vocabulary, I do have to ask why being asked to use a different word in the future (such as dumbass) would be that bad. But I also understand that it would be annoying to have to subconsciously think of that every time you speak/type.

Look, I really don’t want to be rude or cause stress. it’s just that I see people who are acting as if you’re 100% right, and I can’t help but argue if I disagree.

TL;DR I feel like Cami acted as if there was absolutely no reason to even be a bit miffed, which I disagree with. That doesn’t mean she’s entirely wrong, but I want to try illustrating that there are reasons to not agree with her on this issue.

answers for @sproutingpeach (sorry it took so long had to do it on mobile when nobody was watching) 200: My crush’s name is: helen🌸 199: I was born in: 2000 198: I am really: relaxed 197: My cellphone company is: verizon 196: My eye color is: green 195: My shoe size is: 7 1/2 194: My ring size is: 6 or 7 193: My height is: 5'5" 192: I am allergic to: witch hazel 191: My 1st car was: 2003 silver honda accord 190: My 1st job was: haven’t had one 189: Last book you read: milk and honey by rupi kar 188: My bed is: queen sized and vv comfy 187: My pets: jyn and andy 186: My best friend: dally (@justloveselfushlove) 185: My favorite shampoo is: idk 184: Xbox or ps3: xbox I guess 183: Piggy banks are: alright 182: In my pockets: earbuds 181: On my calendar: vacation this week 180: Marriage is: not necessary 179: Spongebob can: shut up please 178: My mom: is problematic 177: The last three songs I bought were?: I don’t buy songs, I’ve got spotify 176: Last YouTube video watched: some random vine compilation i think 175: How many cousins do you have?: 4 174: Do you have any siblings?: yes, 4 173: Are your parents divorced?: no 172: Are you taller than your mom?: yes 171: Do you play an instrument?: I’m learning piano 170: What did you do yesterday?: mini road trip and swimming [ I Believe In ]
 169: Love at first sight: no 168: Luck: no 167: Fate: no 166: Yourself: sometimes 165: Aliens:sure 164: Heaven: no 163: Hell: no 162: God: idk 161: Horoscopes: not really but they’re fun to read anyways 160: Soul mates: nope 159: Ghosts: no 158: Gay Marriage: of course 157: War: no 156: Orbs: no? 155: Magic: no [ This or That ]
 154: Hugs or Kisses: never been kissed so I'd have to say hugs 153: Drunk or High: high 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: both i can’t decide 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: hot 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: straight 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk 140: Mac or PC: mac 139: Flip flops or high heels: depends on the situation, i like both 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: coke 136: Hillary or Obama: obama 135: Burried or cremated: buried 134: Singing or Dancing: singing 133: Coach or Chanel: chanel 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who?? 131: Small town or Big city: big city 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: ben stiller 128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure 127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers 124: Disney or Six Flags: Disneyland 123: Yankees or Red Sox: idc [ Here’s What I Think About ]
 122: War: unnecessary 121: George Bush: did 9/11 120: Gay Marriage: please legalise it everywhere 119: The presidential election: trumps not my president. 118: Abortion: pro choice 117: MySpace: no opinion 116: Reality TV: don’t watch it 115: Parents: good idea, poor execution 114: Back stabbers: they did it for a reason 113: Ebay: no opinion 112: Facebook: my safe app, flip to it when parents are around 111: Work: fine i guess 110: My Neighbors: annoying 109: Gas Prices: better than they can used to be 108: Designer Clothes: unnecessary 107: College: wish it wasn’t a social requirement 106: Sports: don’t mind watching (sometimes even enjoy it) but hate playing 105: My family: big and loud but still good 104: The future: let’s not think about it… [ Last time I ]
 103: Hugged someone: I don’t remember, a couple weeks ago?? 102: Last time you ate: half an hour ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: May 100: Cried in front of someone: a month or so i think? 99: Went to a movie theater: a week ago 98: Took a vacation: rn 97: Swam in a pool: last night 96: Changed a diaper: 3 weeks ago 95: Got my nails done: 2 years ago 94: Went to a wedding: 8 years ago 93: Broke a bone: 5th grade 92: Got a piercing: 8 years ago 91: Broke the law: never 90: Texted: half an hour ago [ MISC ]
 89: Who makes you laugh the most: helen 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my kitty 87: The last movie I saw: the amazing spiderman 2 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: meeting helen irl 85: The thing im not looking forward to: starting school again 84: People call me: on the internet-ry irl-raveyn or rave 83: The most difficult thing to do is: get along with my mother 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: sagittarius 80: The first person i talked to today was: my dad 79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten probably 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: nobody 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk 76: Right now I am talking to: helen 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: be happy hopefully 74: I have/will get a job: my first job be grocery bagging 73: Tomorrow: hanging out and to softball game 72: Today: I'm bored af 71: Next Summer: idk 70: Next Weekend: idk 69: I have these pets: one kitty one puppy 68: The worst sound in the world: cotton balls rubbing together 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my mom 66: People that make you happy: my gf and internet friends and my siblings 65: Last time I cried: last night (watching a movie) 64: My friends are: the i love them 63: My computer is: nonexistent 62: My School: online 61: My Car: older but good 60: I lose all respect for people who: are assholes 59: The movie I cried at was: amazing spiderman 2 58: Your hair color is: bleached 57: TV shows you watch: Grey's Anatomy and Brooklyn 99 56: Favorite web site: tumblr.com.hell 55: Your dream vacation: Greece 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i had a broken nose and sneezed 53: How do you like your steak cooked: i don't like steak 52: My room is: cozy+aesthetic 51: My favorite celebrity is: Priyanka Chopra 50: Where would you like to be: with my girlfriend 49: Do you want children: no 48: Ever been in love: nope 47: Who’s your best friend: dally 46: More guy friends or girl friends: i have one guy friend, one girl friend, one nb so it's an even mix 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my hair looks good 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: helen 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: um no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: not a concrete list but a ideas 41: Have you pre-named your children: I've thought it 40: Last person I got mad at: my mom 39: I would like to move to: New York 38: I wish I was a professional: ??? [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: Reese's pieces 36: Vehicle: idk 35: President: obama 34: State visited: California 33: Cellphone provider: Verizon i guess 32: Athlete: Serena Williams 31: Actor: Andrew Garfield 30: Actress: Priyanka Chopra or Amanda Seyfried 29: Singer: the weeknd or halsey 28: Band: fall out boy 27: Clothing store: idk 26: Grocery store: Fry's 25: TV show: Brooklyn 99 24: Movie: the breakfast club 23: Website: this one 22: Animal: all of them 21: Theme park: Disneyland 20: Holiday: Christmas 19: Sport to watch: baseball 18: Sport to play: none sports aren't allowed look at me 17: Magazine: teen vogue 16: Book: Althea and Oliver 15: Day of the week: Sunday 14: Beach: idk 13: Concert attended: 5sos 12: Thing to cook: chocolate chip cookies 11: Food: burgers and fries 10: Restaurant: Fuddruckers 9: Radio station: 97.1 8: Yankee candle scent: idk 7: Perfume: idk 6: Flower: daisy 5: Color: blue 4: Talk show host: idk 3: Comedian: idk 2: Dog breed: lab 1: Did you answer all these truthfully?: yes

How do you feel about the way people sometimes sexualize you in Tumblr? Is it annoying or flattering when people make comments about you based in part on your personal photos? I am genuinely curious what your own personal experience is like here, because you put so much of yourself in your blog here, between your reblogs of posts and honest detailed comments to asks. Yet it seems like your own photos get a lot of attention (you are gorgeous!) - anyway, thanks for reading this, you are awesome :)

What an interesting ask! 

It honestly depends on my mood and the day, but it can be frustrating... however I am well aware it comes with the territory. I post sexual images, gifs, videos, asks, on an online forum/blog so it is to be expected that I will get a lot of sexual attention. I also make my face and thoughts pretty prevalent on here, and while in no way shape or form does that warrant being sent illicit pictures & graphic, gross messages and asks I am fully aware that it is bound to happen. I get messages every day, all throughout the day and honestly most of them I ignore for quite a few reasons:

a) I literally cannot as one human expend the energy and time to respond to everyone, with a full-time job and life. 

b) Therefore because of point a, an uninspiring “hey” doesn’t really encourage a response out of me. 

c) If you’re being straight up gross or sending dick pics. I will likely block you. There is nowhere on my blog that is saying I want to receive these. I don’t understand why people think I want that. ***If you think I might, maybe just ask!!!* I will never be angry with someone who asks if it is okay to send me something. 

d) I hardly ever like or want a dick pic from someone I'm seeing, let alone some gross random off the internet. Guys stop sending pictures of your dick. They are ugly and don’t turn women on. Like if you must send a girl something, send a shirtless pic, or full body shot, I promise its way more attractive, just saying. 

That all being said, it kind of depends on the level of the comment. People calling me beautiful or sexy is often quite flattering, and I do not mind that. People saying they want to ‘cum all over my face’ is just distasteful & not flattering at all, it is pretty gross and makes me feel trashier than I am. I don’t post nudes or whatever for a reason. I don’t want randoms thirsting on me in that sexual of a manner. If I did, I probably would post nudes. This is zero shade to girls who are compelled to show a little more skin, power to them, not to mention I don’t think they need nasty commentary either unless they are explicitly asking for it. 

I genuinely love giving advice and having, engaging fun discussions about all things relationships/sex/love/lust and everything in between. I’m so grateful for all my followers, and asks, and love, and do appreciate all of the nice comments. I love the tumblr community & my lovely followers, I’ve been on this site for close to a decade because I love how raw and real it is. Sometimes that brings out some negativity and vile humans, but overall I see an overwhelming amount of love which I am truly grateful for! I didn’t post my face on here for the first couple years I had a tumblr really, but as I gained more followers people wanted to see me, and it holds me accountable. I like being able to engage more with followers and know who they are talking to. I’d be lying too if I said I didn’t like the attention it sometimes gets me. Sometimes a girl needs a little ego boost, and this is a harmless place to get one. 

Hopefully, that's a good answer, thanks for a more thought-provoking question, & the love! 

Much love xoxo Nikki 

there’s an ask meme i see on my dash rn and since nobody will send me anything if i reblog it here, ill jst answer the questions and put them under the cut

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? i dnt use any of them lmfao

is your room messy or clean? messy!!!!! what color are your eyes? dark brown do you like your name? why? i’ve never liked my actual name! i’ve jst always found it to be ugly. whenever someone gives me a nickname, i glom onto it bc i’d rather be called pretty much anything else what is your relationship status? im not dating anyone and im not talking to anyone and tbqh i could not care less describe your personality in 3 words or less superficial space cadet what color hair do you have? brown what kind of car do you drive? color? blue 2010 honda civic. she’s great. where do you shop? forever 21 mostly how would you describe your style? cute but inconsistent favorite social media account as of right now, probably peach. i love my peach ring! and the lack of centralized feed makes it ideal for shitposting what size bed do you have? double any siblings? one brother. he dznt say or do much if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? somewhere cold and far away. i jst want to be somewhere else favorite snapchat filter? i love the dog filter bc they change it up every holiday & i love the milk carton filter bc it’s the best worst thing ive ever seen favorite makeup brand(s) the beauty industry is evil how many times a week do you shower? usually 7 but that’s assuming im not having a severe depression bout favorite tv show? bojack horseman! shoe size? 8.5 or 9, depending on the shoe how tall are you? 5′7″ sandals or sneakers? sneakers! do you go to the gym? only if its too cold to run outside describe your dream date i dnt rly care abt date activities themselves as long as im having a good time w the other person. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $54 what color socks are you wearing? none! im wearing slippers and theyre brown how many pillows do you sleep with? 4 do you have a job? what do you do? yes. i do hair and i dnt like it how many friends do you have? 2 close ones whats the worst thing you have ever done? omg... like 3 years ago i let this girl use facebook on my phone bc she had her internet access taken from her for some reason. she didn’t log out so i jst kind of kept it logged in bc she was friends with evil nate/this guy who was actively trying to ruin my life (long story) & i kind of wanted to keep an eye on him. anyway she used to meet these weird random guys on a website called myyearbook or something, and while my friend riley and i were lurking, one of them started messaging her all this weird stuff like “i wanna like… fuck your boobs” and we couldn’t like ignore it bc clearly he saw we were online. so we jst kept sending him back things like “that’s nice” hoping he would go away. he kept at it anyway and started pestering her/us for nudes and like… clearly we couldn’t send him any. so we decided to tell him like “sorry i can’t rn” and he got rlly rlly angry and flipped out and told her/us to never speak to him again. he seriously blocked her over it omg it was ridiculous! so we deleted the messages that we had sent behind her back & logged out to keep things from getting any worse. the next time i saw her she was like “yeah i think nick deactivated his fb isn’t that weird?” and i had to pretend like this was new information and not something i was undoubtedly responsible for whats your favorite candle scent? the golden sands yankee candle is my go-to! 3 favorite boy names / 3 favorite girl names i can’t think of any off the top of my head!

favorite actor? favorite actress? who is your celebrity crush? these were 3 separate questions, but i have no personal investment in celebrity culture, so im jst going to answer them all w that. favorite movie? it’s hard to say but i’ve been watching black swan a lot lately do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i dnt read as often as i’d like to. my favorite book is pet sematary!  money or brains? brains.. duh do you have a nickname? what is it? i’ve had a lot of nicknames and i always sort of latched onto them bc the name on my birth certificate is Fuckin ugly. ppl called me kitty in middle school and janice when i was a freshman in high school. for the life of me i cant remember where either of those originated from how many times have you been to the hospital? idk how many times ive been to the ER or whatever but i’ve had to stay there 3 times top 10 favorite songs i can never think of favorite anythings and they change constantly anyway do you take any medications daily? yeah what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) oily -_- what is your biggest fear? abandonment 😵 how many kids do you want? none whats your go to hair style? i always go back to a blonde bob that’s like, an inch or two longer than my chin what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) jst an average size single family home? who is your role model? dnt have one what was the last compliment you received? i cant remember but it was probably something affirming ian said to me what was the last text you sent? ”#iansrevenge” to ian, obviously how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? fairly young. i dnt remember being too invested in that stuff either way what is your dream car? i drove my dream car for like 3 years and it was nothing but a hassle, so now i no longer have goals or ambitions opinion on smoking? there are worse things. the tobacco industry, on the other hand... do you go to college? lol what is your dream job? LOL would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? rural area. there’s no privacy in the suburbs do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? always do you have freckles? yes do you smile for pictures? sometimes! how many pictures do you have on your phone? 800 have you ever peed in the woods? i’ve been camping many times before so probably

do you still watch cartoons? sometimes but i’m not invested in any do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? i would never cheat on wendy Favorite dipping sauce? buffalo sauce! what do you wear to bed? fleece pants and a t shirt. nothing exciting have you ever won a spelling bee? i’ve never even competed in one what are your hobbies? when you work 40 hours a week you literally dnt have time for hobbies can you draw? i used to all the time but yknow... shit happens do you play an instrument? again, used to. mental illness is a real bitch sometimes what was the last concert you saw? elton john! tea or coffee? tea Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? starbucks!! do you want to get married? no what is your crush’s first and last initial? PASS are you going to change your last name when you get married? i can’t ever see myself getting married but if i do i won’t change my last name unless i like theirs a lot what color looks best on you? white do you miss anyone right now? i miss my friends! do you sleep with your door open or closed? open, usually do you believe in ghosts? yes what is your biggest pet peeve? total strangers standing too close to me in public last person you called` michael favorite ice cream flavor? mint chocolate 😋 regular oreos or golden oreos? regular chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow 💜 what shirt are you wearing? one of my work shirts what is your phone background? the lacey street theater in fairbanks are you outgoing or shy? definitely on the shy side do you like it when people play with your hair? im indifferent to it do you like your neighbors? i dnt talk to them do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? both! have you ever been high? yes binch have you ever been drunk? im drunk... often last thing you ate? a banana favorite lyrics right now nothing is resonating strongly with me at the moment. my personality has been out on lunch for abt 2 months now and im not sure when theyre coming back. summer or winter? winter day or night? night dark, milk, or white chocolate? white favorite month? october! what is your zodiac sign gemini who was the last person you cried in front of? probably my mom. who knows