#anyway it’s still my sisters birthday so i won’t be back around again for a while. but here i am | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whereianonymouslypostfics · 7 months

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Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Word count: ~5.1k

Summary: Little Nat goes to a birthday party

A/N: More inspired by ideas from @rianncreates

Warnings: fluff, slight angst, creeps, and cuteness

This was your nightmare. Honestly the idea of having near 2 dozen kids running around makes you more anxious than you ever would have imagined. Between keeping them from leaving your sight, and making sure no one fell off the jungle gym you didn’t get a moment to relax as you supervised your daughter’s friend’s birthday party.

This is one of the first events you’ve gone to like this and you are realizing quickly that you definitely don't give Wanda enough credit. She loved these types of things, and watching her now was truly an experience. She was somehow the social butterfly between the two of you. She wandered from table to table and talked to parents, kids, and their friends with a smile on her face and an energy that you couldn’t even attempt to muster at this point.

You’re out of your element and it feels painfully obvious as you sit off by yourself. Well, you have your dogs with you. You’d brought them because you had no idea how long this would last, and you hadn’t wanted to worry about them. They loved to get out anyway and after exploring the playground and getting their fill of scratches from the kids, they’d come to sit beside you. You’re considering getting up and making the rounds with Wanda when someone sits beside you with a loud sigh.

“Hanging in there?”

You turn to see Pietro shooting you a knowing look that you just laugh at. He doesn't like these things either, but he can wander off without getting judged. If you did that you'd be a neglectful mother, so you're sitting nearby-ish as you take a breather.

“This is exhausting. I don't know how Wanda does it.”

Pietro glances toward his sister who's smiling as she talks to one of the dads that has at least three kids of his own here. He’s not sure how his sister went from mobster to stay at home mom so seamlessly but it was never something he imagined for her. He was glad that she seemed happy, and he honestly could use some of her energy. He reaches down to scratch Boone’s head with a smile. The dogs have been very good during this whole thing. He’d been afraid that they’d be overwhelmed by the near thirty children here, but they were actually pretty chill. They mostly looked around and kept an eye on Natalya, but she was having fun with her friends and was being watched by more than enough people.

“She’s an impressive one, my sister.”

You smile at the thought and you hum in agreement as your gaze falls to your wife again. She really is spectacular and as you watch her laugh at something the birthday kid’s dad says you feel yourself sigh wistfully.

“She’s amazing, for sure.”

Pietro turns to you with a pinched expression when he realizes you’re practically drooling over his sister. He rolls his eyes before slapping you on the back to startle you out of your daydreaming. You flinch and turn to glare at him as he pretends to be annoyed.

“Hey, that’s my sister you’re drooling over.”

You roll your eyes before slapping your brother-in-law’s hand away. You shake your head before meeting your wife’s gaze briefly before she returns her attention to the host. You briefly wonder how much they spent on this party for their son who’s 4 and won’t remember it. They even hired caterers that are still milling about to make sure that there’s enough food to go around. At this point it’s mostly the parents eating as the kids run around and play on the playground or in the large field that hosts various games.

You hope that Natalya won’t want a party like this. Despite having the money to throw one, logistically it sounds like a nightmare, and you aren’t sure how many more of these you can sit through.

“I’m not drooling. She does look beautiful in that dress though; don’t you think Piet?”

You’re teasing him now because despite agreeing that his sister is pretty, he finds it a little awkward to talk with you about her looks. You know this and you’re just giving him a hard time because it’s what you two do. You take his lack of response as answer enough and you sigh before checking on your daughter again. She’s strayed away from her friend group to play with one of the other dogs roaming around here. You turn back to Pietro to see that he’s spaced out, and you sigh before getting to your feet.

“I’m going to make the rounds. Want to come?”

Pietro unsurprisingly shakes his head and you just leave him to sit and mull as you wave your dogs along. You’re not going to walk around alone, and you’re grateful that they both stand and follow after you obediently.

“Good boys.”

“Thank you.”

You roll your eyes and don’t even bother to respond to Pietro as you decide to get your wife something to eat. She’s been milling around for so long, and you’re not sure if she even ate, so you take a detour to the ridiculously large buffet with a smile. You make her a plate and grab her something to drink before you glance around for your daughter again. She’s wandering farther away and you frown and decide you don’t like this. You turn to Boone before pointing toward Natalya and waving your dog off.

“Go get her, Boone.”

You should do it yourself, but you’re lazy and you’ll check on her as soon as you stop by Wanda to make sure she’s not going to pass out. It’s way too hot for an outdoor party, in your opinion at least, but you’ll worry about that later. You walk up behind your wife and smile as you hear her laughing as she continues to chat. You check behind you and frown when you realize your other dog abandoned you, but since he’s going after his brother, you’re going to let it go.

“Hey there, Wands.”

Wanda’s exhausted. She underestimated how tiring such a large birthday party would be. She’s playing the part of a host despite not being one, but she’d wanted to get to know the parents of her daughter’s classmates in a setting that wasn’t run by the school. She’d learned a lot, but mostly she’s exhausted herself after nearly an hour of chitchatting. She’s beyond grateful to hear your voice behind her, and as soon as she realizes you’ve brought her food, she could just kiss you.

“Hi detka. Come sit.”

You set the plate and cup in front of your wife, and you’re about to sit down but you remember that you were going to check on Natalya. She would do anything to pet a dog and you have to make sure she doesn’t go too far. She was still in sight when you sent Boone after her, but you had to go make sure she didn’t stray any further. You kiss your wife’s cheek before you point over your shoulder and explain why you’re not taking her up on her very appealing offer.

“I will in a minute, I have to go wrangle Little Nat first. She’s over there.”

Wanda turns to where you’re pointing, but she doesn’t see her daughter anywhere. She’s frowning by the time she looks back to you and your smile turns down too when Wanda shakes her head.

“Where is she? I don’t see her.”

Natalya was getting tired of playing and she could use a second serving of cake. She had planned on doing this immediately after leaving her friends, but she spotted a new dog that she hadn’t pet yet and she couldn’t resist the urge to follow it. It was a small scruffy dog with a purple collar, and she followed him closely as he headed away from the party and toward the parking lot.

“Come here, doggy.”

Natalya reaches out and is just short of the dog so she starts to walk faster. She doesn’t even realize she’s getting too far away from everyone else until she follows the dog behind some trees. She stops short and turns around only to realize she can’t see her parents or uncle anymore. Her moms had told her before coming here that she needed to stay in sight at all times. She could only talk to the other kids at the party and their parents, but no one else at the park. She’s reminded of this last rule as she sees a man dressed in black and white waiting for his dog with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He holds out his arms and Natalya just stands where she is as she debates heading back.

“Hello there. Do you want to say hi?”

Natalya is conflicted. She’s not supposed to talk to strangers, but her moms never said anything about petting their dogs. She nods meekly before she steps forward so she’s in the shade and closer to the cute dog who’s panting from his run over here.

“Yes please.”

The man smiles before he drops the still smoking cigarette and stomps it out before pointing at his dog. He watches the brunette take a couple of tentative steps forward.

“Go ahead, he’s very sweet.”

Natalya reaches out a hand to pet the dog’s head, and she smiles as he licks her in return. She’s about to ask what his name is, but his owner catches her off guard as he grabs her around her waist and picks her up. She doesn’t get a chance to protest before he’s covering her mouth and hurrying off toward the parking lot.

You’re speed walking toward where you’d last seen your daughter with Wanda and Pietro on your heels. You are only a little worried when you walk past the field and toward the parking lot without seeing her. You don’t even see your dogs as you mutter under your breath anxiously.

“She was just here, I swear.”

Wanda’s response is cut off as she hears shouting nearby from beyond the trees near the path that leads back to their car. She frowns when she realizes that they’re screaming in pain and only a second later she notices that it’s nearly drowning out the sound of growling. You and Pietro run toward the sounds and as you get closer you recognize your dogs and run faster.

“Hey!”

The sight that greets you is a lot to process, but you don’t hesitate to run forward to stop Pietro from committing murder. Your two dogs have latched onto the legs of a man in a caterer’s uniform who’s holding something under his arm. It takes a second for you to realize it’s a person, and then only a millisecond longer to realize it’s your daughter. You ignore the small barking terrier as you call off your dogs as the man finally drops Natalya. She falls hard on the ground and you rush to grab her just as Pietro tackles her attempted kidnapper.

“You fucker!”

“Pietro!”

Wanda’s shocked to see someone with her daughter in their arms, and it takes her a second to realize that they’d been trying to run off with her. She had feared something like this would happen for only the first few years of Natalya’s life. However, every scenario that she’d imagined hadn’t included a birthday party. She supposes that was shortsighted on her part. She watches for only a second before she’s running forward to check on her daughter that you’re helping off the ground. She’s got dirt on her face, but otherwise she looks unharmed.

“Natalya!”

“Little Nat, are you alright? Did he hurt you?”

You’re frantic as you check over your daughter to make sure she’s not injured. Luckily you only notice a small scrape on her knee from the fall, but otherwise she appears unharmed. You ignore your brother-in-law as he beats up the man who had snuck into the party and lured your daughter away. Your anger makes you want to kick the man while he’s down and already bloodied by the older Maximoff, but you decide to focus on your daughter.

“Pietro, stop!”

Wanda gathers Natalya in her arms while you try to calm down your dogs. They’re still barking and snarling at the brunette that they’d intercepted, and they’re too on edge to listen to you. You see that Wanda has her phone out and she’s hopefully calling the police so you focus on Pietro. He’s understandably pissed, but you can’t let him kill the guy before you find out what he was doing. Rather if he was doing it of his own volition. You hadn’t heard anything about your wife’s work for years. Since she’s been retired, you’d never had problems, and you hope as horrible as it sounds, that this is just a run of the mill creep instead of a mobster creep.

“Who the hell are you?! What did you want with my niece?”

Pietro’s breathing heavily as he stares down at brunette who’s barely fighting back. He realizes quickly that this person probably isn’t anyone’s hired help. He’s too soft and the thought that he’s working alone is as comforting as it is disgusting. Pietro grabs the collar of his bloodied shirt, and he’s about to slam him on the ground again when he hears new voices.

Apparently, the dogs had attracted the attention of some of the other parents and they’d wanted to make sure that no one was hurt. Wanda noticed them first, but you’re the one who talked to them about the confusing, disturbing scene in front of them. Pietro reluctantly let the brunette up and he just held him tightly as he waited for the sirens to get closer.

Once he was in custody and everyone involved had been questioned, you decided it was time to leave. You look to your daughter who’s sleeping in her uncle’s arms, before turning toward your dogs. They were still a little wired, but they’d calmed down as soon as the cops showed up. You were grateful that you’d sent Boone after Nat and that they’d both protected their sister, but you’re feeling guilty about not going to get your daughter yourself. She would never have gotten that far if you had just gone after her, and you’re kicking yourself for what almost happened.

“Stop it.”

You turn in confusion at the sound of your wife’s voice, but when you see her knowing look you just turn away with a scowl. She’s not mad at you because there’s no way you could have known what was going to happen. Nat was still in sight when you saw her, and you sent Boone after her with the intention of finding her right after. She’s sure she would have done the same thing. She’s just lucky that the dogs had saved Natalya, and that her brother had beaten him up for all of them. She reaches out for your arm as you shake your head.

“I shouldn’t have left her alone. I’m so stupid.”

Wanda grabs your chin to turn you towards her, and you’re met with a stern look that you know isn’t something you should argue with.

“Stop it, Y/n. This isn’t your fault. You were going to check on her, and in the meantime, you made sure she was taken care of.”

Wanda takes a moment to look at the two dogs that might still have blood on their faces. She didn’t worry about that now as she knelt down to pet the duo with a wide smile. They had been loyal companions for years, and Wanda had always hoped that if a day like this came around, they would step up and protect their own. She couldn’t be prouder of them and she kisses both of their furry heads in thanks.

“Such good boys. You’re getting steak tonight.”

You guess that Wanda’s right. You hadn’t predicted that you’d face this threat today, but you’re glad that you were more prepared than you thought. Well, it was less you and more your dogs and your brother-in-law being able to thwart the low life who tried to steal your daughter. With any luck, something like this won’t happen ever again, but you can at least take comfort in the fact that your daughter has her own guard dogs.

“They definitely are.”

When the trio got home after the party everything seemed normal. They had dinner after spending some time on the couch watching one of Natalya’s favorite shows. Nat nearly fell asleep at the table after the tiring and stressful time at the party, so you picked her up to take her upstairs to bed. You’re distracted by tiny hands pulling on your hair as you walk through your daughter’s bedroom door. You frown when she whines quietly before speaking barely loudly enough for you to hear.

“I want to sleep with you and Mama.”

You aren’t really surprised to hear this, but you and Wanda still need to talk and figure out what you’re going to do about what happened this afternoon. The police had their own investigation going of course, but you knew your wife well, and you would be foolish to think that she wasn’t going to look into it herself. You decide to try and compromise and you figure you can stay here with Nat until she falls asleep and then go catch up with your wife.

“How about I stay with you instead?”

Natalya frowns but she nods and lets you get her ready for bed. After she brushes her teeth and changes clothes, you tuck her in and grab a book from her shelf beside the bed. You smile as you ask your daughter if she wants you to read this tonight, and after grabbing Winston and holding him tight, she nods wordlessly.

Wanda’s still downstairs trying to talk her brother down when you finish reading to Natalya. You leave her once you realize she’s fast asleep, and you head back downstairs to find your wife growing frustrated as she finishes her drink. She’d had a glass of wine at dinner, so this must be her second but you don’t pay much attention to that right now.

“I know Pietro, and I appreciate it, but we’ll figure something else out. I’m not going to blow our cover on this. He was probably just a lone creep.”

You had come to the same conclusion, but you just sigh in defeat as you go straight for the fridge for another drink too. You choose to grab a beer and are almost half done with it by the time Wanda hangs up with her brother. She takes a deep breath before turning toward you with a small smile. She’s tired and stressed, but she’s sure you are too so she takes a minute to check in with you.

“Natalya’s asleep?”

You nod in confirmation before setting down your beer as Wanda reaches out for you with a tired look. You hold her close before glancing over her shoulder at your two dogs that are resting in their giant dog bed in the corner. All of the kids seem to be down for the night, so you decide that you’ll go to sleep soon too. This had been a stressful experience and you could feel yourself crashing at the very thought of your pillow.

“She is. How’s Pietro?”

Wanda shrugs before muttering something into your hair about how he’s being an overprotective uncle, but he should calm down soon. You listen to Wanda’s plan before you lead her toward the stairs once you both finish your drinks and set them in the sink. Wanda squeezes your hand as she shuts the door behind her and keeps you from collapsing immediately.

“How are you feeling, detka?”

You sigh before you shake your head and admit that you’re still a little upset. This is understandable and Wanda’s certainly not happy either. She’s terrified and still shocked that you both could have lost your daughter today. If you’d been even 30 seconds later, or you hadn’t sent Boone after Natalya, she could have been taken. Wanda shivers at the thought but she focuses back on you when you finally respond as you lead her to the bed. You feel like you’re going to collapse if you don’t sit down right now.

“Still reeling. I can’t believe this happened.”

Wanda nods in agreement as she leans against you as soon as you’re both sitting on the edge of the bed. She wraps an arm around your waist before she hums in contemplation. She had thought that something like this would happen a lot earlier in Natalya’s life, but she wasn’t going to mention that now. Instead, she focuses on you and the fact that your daughter is sleeping safely in her bedroom.

“Me neither, but we’ll figure out what happened, and the important thing is that she’s safe.”

You can’t argue with this or the fact that you’re relieved to have your daughter safe and sound back at home. You offer your wife a small smile before kissing her cheek and taking a deep breath.

“You’re right, Wands. As usual.”

Her response is an amused smile and you just follow her wordlessly as she leads you to the bathroom.

You’re asleep almost before your head hits the pillow, but you unfortunately don’t stay asleep. You manage a few hours before something wakes you up with a start. You frown in confusion and wait to see if whatever woke you up happens again, but no luck. It’s quiet and you turn to your left to see that Wanda’s sleeping soundly. You sigh before you close your eyes and try to go back to sleep. You don’t know what woke you, but now that you’re up, you’re tense and finding it hard to fall back asleep.

Your mind wanders to the events of yesterday’s party, and you know despite how everything worked out that you won’t be letting your daughter out of your sight for a while. Whenever she leaves the house, she’ll either have you or Wanda within arm’s reach. This thought makes you want to check on Natalya, and you sneak out of bed only a couple of minutes later to see your daughter is still sleeping peacefully.

You quietly walk down the hall before pushing the door to Natalya’s room open slowly. You see Winston is on the ground and you’re about to grab him and put him back in bed with your daughter when you realize she isn’t there. The sheets are in disarray and her pillow’s almost on the floor, but Natalya’s not anywhere in sight. You try not to panic, but you’re already looking around the room before you get on your knees to look under the bed.

“Natalya? Little Nat, where are you?”

Once you start tearing through the closet you truly start to panic. You stand up and nearly trip over the various shoes and clothes you’ve thrown around on your way to the door. You stop in the doorway when you run into a confused and slightly miffed Wanda. She’d just woken up to sounds coming from her daughter’s room, and how on edge she was she didn’t hesitate to get up and investigate. When she realized you weren’t in bed, she quickly ran down the hall only for you to almost barrel her over.

“Y/n? What’s wrong? What’s-?”

You shake your head as you grab your wife’s shoulders to steady both of you. You’re starting to walk past her as you speak up in a jumble of words that you hope make sense. You plan on looking around in the other bedrooms before running back to your room to call the police.

“Nat’s not in her bed, Wands.”

Wanda’s eyes widen in surprise before she glances in her daughter’s room to confirm this. She curses under her breath before she runs back to the bedroom to grab her phone. She’s not sure if you even hear her since you’ve run to the next room to check for Natalya.

“I’ll call Piet.”

You see quickly that both of the bedrooms are untouched and after checking the closets, you’re sweating you’re so anxious. You don’t bother to shut the doors as you run back down the hall and look for your wife. She’s still on the phone with her brother and you hear her speaking frantically in her native language. You don’t know what she’s saying, but you hear Pietro’s equally frantic voice as you check to make sure that the security system is still armed. There’s nothing amiss and you start to tremble from the lack of leads and the idea of someone sneaking in here. You force yourself to take a deep breath as you look around frantically, and the sound of Wanda’s increasingly anxious voice fades into the background as you lay eyes on your dogs. They’re still lying in their bed, but they’re awake as they watch you and Wanda panic. You find this odd because usually they’d be all over you and any activity that’s happening. Instead, they’re curled up next to each other in bed with-

“Wanda, she’s here.”

You miss your wife looking over to you and then promptly hanging up after she spots her daughter. She’s sleeping beside her dogs in their oversized bed, and they’re both curled around her protectively with Boone using the brunette’s shoulder as a pillow. You breathe a sigh of relief and almost start crying as you hurry forward to check on your daughter. Rogue’s tail starts to wag and Boone tries to lick you, but you focus on Natalya who’s sleeping soundly despite being covered in dog hair and being squished between the heavy dogs.

“Hey, Little Nat. Wake up.”

You are still trying to calm your breathing when Wanda comes up next to you and kneels by your side. She reaches out for Rogue to scratch him as she waits for Nat to sit up. She grumbles slightly but she sits up and rubs at her eyes with a frown at the sight of her worried parents.

“Is it morning yet, Mama?”

Wanda shakes her head as you hold your arms out for Natalya, and you smile when she starts to crawl toward you.

“No, milaya. Mom went to go check on you, but you weren’t in bed. What are you doing down here?”

Natalya climbs into your lap before wrapping her tiny arms around your waist with a frown. She tries to hide her face in your stomach, but Wanda reaches out for her because this is important. She wants her daughter to look at her.

“I didn’t want to sleep a-alone, and you said no dogs on the bed.”

Both you and Wanda frown at this but seem to realize what Little Nat’s saying. You hate that this happened, and maybe it’s just yesterday’s events that made you freak out, but you’d let the dogs sleep in Nat’s bed if she wanted them to. It was much better than having a heart attack.

Wanda seems to be on the same page, and she smiles softly at her daughter who’s looking at her shyly. She thinks she’s in trouble, but you hold her tightly and kiss the top of her head which makes her look up curiously.

“Okay, next time if you want company come to us first, okay? I was really worried when I didn’t see you in bed.”

Nat’s lower lip juts out in a pout and she shoots you a guilty look before holding you tighter. You watch Wanda run her fingers through your daughter’s tangled hair before shaking her head. She surprises you by what she says next when Nat apologizes.

“Sorry Mommy.”

Wanda’s just grateful that her heart’s started to beat normally again and she didn’t call anyone but her brother. She’ll apologize for waking him up so early tomorrow.

“It’s okay, but from now on the dogs can sleep on your bed. On top of a blanket though. How does that sound?”

Natalya smiles widely and nods in excitement which makes you feel lighter. You let Natalya go and she hugs Wanda quickly before she starts to bounce excitedly in her lap while looking between her redhead mom and her dogs.

“Okay! Can they sleep there now?”

You can’t help but laugh as you see Wanda regret her decision almost immediately, but you nod quickly as you watch Natalya clumsily get to her feet and near tackle her dogs. Wanda sighs but you can tell from her smile that she’s happy as she watches her daughter throw her arms around Rogue’s neck. The shepherd had been watching lazily and he just lets out a surprised huff when Natalya falls on him. You just stand up before reaching out to help your wife to her feet as Natalya tries to coax her dog out of his bed.

“Rogue! Come on let’s go!”

The shepherd considers ignoring her, you can tell, but eventually he sneezes in her face before climbing to his feet. Natalya leads him upstairs after hugging Boone goodnight. You squeeze Wanda’s hand as you lead her upstairs following in your adorable daughter’s footsteps.

“She’s so cute, Wands.”

Wanda sighs in defeat but she can’t argue with you. As she watches Natalya lead Rogue by the collar to her bedroom while talking to him animatedly, she can’t help but be grateful for her daughter’s excitement at something so simple. She’d give a lot to see her daughter smile, and cleaning up a little extra dog fur didn’t seem like a big deal. You two tuck your daughter and Rogue into bed before leaving her to go back to sleep. You release another heavy sigh as you and Wanda arrive back to your bedroom. She wraps an arm around your shoulders before pressing a kiss to the side of your head with a smile.

“She really is, detka, but she’s going to be the death of us.”

You laugh in response but only nod in agreement as you sink back into the bed with a groan. Wanda smiles at you before cuddling up into your side with a yawn. She closes her eyes and hears you switch off the lights before settling beside her with a tired hum. As you both fall back to sleep for the second time that night, you hope that tomorrow will be calmer.

Little Nat Adventures

#silver springs #silver springs au #silver springs drabble #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff #natalya maximoff #little nat adventures

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impishtubist · 1 year

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happy birthday, second-sister <3

A while back, I did a poll about what character I should breed next in my fics, and it was a VERY close call between James and Remus, and you BEGGED for James..................so I wrote you both lmao.

Anyway have an absolutely delightful birthday, @second-sister !

----

“Here we are, Moons! That’s the last of it,” James says cheerfully, setting the last box on the floor. He straightens, resting one hand on the small of his back and the other on his belly. “Whew! Somehow, I always forget what it’s like to essentially be carrying around an extra bowling ball. Or two, in this case. How are you feeling?”

Remus is stretched out on the couch, an arm thrown over his eyes, his other arm wrapped around his stomach. He lifts his arm to glare at James, then drops it again.

“Right, not feeling great,” James says. “No problem! I’ll help you go through all these things. Budge up.”

He pats Remus’s leg, and Remus bends his legs at the knees to make room on the far cushion so James can sit down. James opens the box. It’s packed with newborn babygrows, some of which are almost new.

“You’re sure you won’t need those?” Remus sounds drowsy, probably from the low-dose anti-nausea potion James forced down his throat earlier. He’s already having a hard time of it, poor thing, and he’s not even out of his first trimester yet.

“We’ve got plenty,” James says, waving a hand. “We’ve got four kids’ worth of clothes and toys in the attic. You’ll be doing us a favor, taking some of it off our hands. Oh, look!”

He pulls a babygrow out of the box that says Top Dog on it. “This was Harry’s first outfit. You have to take it.”

Remus musters a smile. “I think Sirius got that for him.”

“He did, and his own baby should also wear it. C’mon, Moony, it’ll be perfect.” James is already tearing up at the thought of their kids sharing this piece of clothing. Bloody hormones. He loves being pregnant, don’t get him wrong, but the one thing he can do without are the wild emotional swings.

Over the course of the afternoon, they slowly fill some boxes with clothing, toys, and books the Potter children have outgrown.

“Ugh, I don’t know how you love this so much,” Remus groans finally, slumping back on the couch. He’s looking a little pale, and James grabs a bin just in case.

“Well, it helps that I never have morning sickness,” James says, and Remus glares at him.

“You’d probably love it even if you did.”

He’s got a point. James realizes it’s weird how much he enjoys pregnancy--they’ve got four kids to prove it, with five and six on the way--but he doesn’t spend much time worrying about it. So what if it’s weird? He loves watching his body change, loves the weird cravings, loves Lily’s foot rubs and feeling their little ones kick. He’s never had a difficult birth, either, delivering all their babies at home pretty much within an hour or two of going into labor. Hazza was the fastest of them, making his debut in the back garden while Remus and Sirius were over for lunch one day. James had barely had the chance to stand up before the little rascal was crowning.

“Probably,” James says. He doesn’t have much of a lap these days, but he can fit one of Remus’s feet on his knee, and he starts rubbing Remus’s ankle. Remus hums, closing his eyes. “I know this isn’t what you two had planned, but you’re both going to be excellent dads. I hope you know that.”

“Sirius will be,” Remus says.

“You too, Moons. The two of you practically raised Neville.”

A shadow passes over Remus’s face, there and gone in the space of a blink. It still stings all these years later, that Neville was given to his grandmother to raise instead of his godfather. Augusta made sure that Remus got to be involved in Neville’s life, but James knows that Remus wanted nothing more than to fulfill his duties as godfather properly.

As if on cue, the front door bursts open and Harry comes into the house like a whirlwind, Neville following more sedately behind him. Lily and Sirius bring up the rear, arms laden with shopping bags.

“Did you have fun?” James asks as Harry perches next to him on the arm of the couch.

“Yeah!” Harry says. “Don’t get mad, though.”

“Why would I get mad?”

“Because your son released every snake in the reptile house at the zoo,” Lily huffs, bending to kiss James on top of the head. “We had to Obliviate half of London.”

“What happened to the snakes?” Remus asks. He sits up, scooting closer to James so Neville can sit next to him. Neville leans automatically into his godfather, and Remus wraps an arm around him.

“Don’t worry, Moons, we made sure they were all sent home to their respective countries.” Sirius bends to kiss him on the cheek. “You know Harry would never speak to us again if we hadn’t. Are we taking all of this home?”

“You are,” James says cheerfully.

“You realize we’re only having one baby, right, not sixteen?” Sirius surveys the twenty-three boxes with dismay.

“Don’t worry, Pads, this will last you until they’re at least eighteen months old,” James says.

Remus pales, and only James’s Quidditch-fast reflexes save both the sofa, carpet, and Neville’s shoes. He shoves the bin under Remus’s face right before he retches.

“Oh, Moony.” Sirius rubs his husband’s back. “I’m sorry, love.”

Neville pats Remus’s shoulder consolingly. Remus finishes retching, and Lily casts a spell to clean the bin while Sirius does a mouth-cleaning charm on Remus.

“You three should get home.” Lily shrinks all twenty-three boxes, places them in a sack, and hands them to Sirius. “I’ll come by and check on you tomorrow at lunchtime.”

“Aw, Mum!” Harry complains. “Can’t Neville stay?”

“Er--” Neville fidgets, reddening slightly. “Maybe another time?”

James gets it. Neville has been the focal point of Sirius’s and Remus’s lives for the past nine years, and having a baby on the way is a huge adjustment for him. He wants to spend as much time with his uncles as he can before the little one arrives.

“Sorry, Haz, we’ve got big plans with Nev tonight,” Sirius says, ruffling Neville’s hair. He steps over Remus’s legs and crouches in front of James, placing his hands on James’s swollen belly. “You hear that, babies? It’s movie night, so you’ve got to stay put for at least another twenty-four hours.”

Longer than that, James hopes. He can’t wait to meet the twins, but he knows a part of him will be disappointed if he doesn’t make it to his due date. He wants to savor every second of his last pregnancy.

Sirius presses a loud, smacking kiss to James’s stomach, then gets to his feet and helps Remus up. Remus can’t stomach Apparition or Floo right now, so Sirius drove the three of them in his car. It’s an hour’s journey back to the cottage, so James wordlessly holds out the now-Scourgified bin for them to take with. Sirius waves it off.

“We’ve already got one in the car. Learned the hard way that we need to keep a bin wherever this one goes.” He wraps an arm around Remus’s waist and offers a hand to Neville. “Come on, boys. Let’s go home.”

They leave, and Harry goes up to his room. Their three youngest are with James’s parents for the night. Harry had decided to skip the sleepover with his grandparents so that he could spend the day at the zoo instead. James has a sinking feeling that, sooner or later, they’re going to end up with more than a few snakes from the garden inside their house. Harry’s always been more than a bit obsessed with them.

“I’d ask how you’re feeling,” Lily says, “but I know the answer will be spectacular.”

“You’re not wrong,” James says. “Wouldn’t say no to a foot rub, though, and we can talk about Christmas plans.”

Lily sits on the couch and pulls James’s feet into her lap, giving him a stern look. “I am not knocking you up again.”

“Come on, Lils,” James says. “The babies will be six months by then, and seven kids is a great number to have. That’s basically an entire Quidditch team! We have the room to build another addition, and--”

“No, James.”

#imp is writing #james potter #remus lupin #jily #wolfstar #the server decided that james would absolutely LOVE being pregnant and remus would HATE it #so here we are #james potter has a breeding kink #remus lupin does NOT have a breeding kink #but sirius black sure does lmao

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canon-vi · 6 months

Text

It's a pity that in E.L.A. Reaper doesn't have wings... Or does he have them? The original can remove them—

I did her for 6 hours, oh my God

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

Name: Shelki (I was inspired by mulberries [shelkovitsa] when I did her hair)

Age: 12-13

Height: 156

Birthday: 24.05(May 24)

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

• Formidable and fearless... Well, she really tries to be like that—

• father's daughter

• instead of pupils - a dim white light

• says hello to almost every adult, it’s just a habit, she doesn’t say hello except when there are a lot of people, or when she’s talking to someone

• poor vision (moderate myopia, -3.5), wears glasses only when necessary

• can see ghosts, and due to poor eyesight sometimes confuses them with ordinary people and walks around or says hello

• she likes to braid hair, both her own and others’, most often braiding Reaper’s hair

• she loves scythes

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

Geno:

Mom is very caring and beautiful... I’m sure that’s true, it’s just hard for me to see her

Reaper:

Dad is the best! When I grow up, I want to be like him!

Goth:

She can be so angry sometimes, even though I didn’t do anything... Honestly—

(she definitely did something)

Dream:

I heard about him on TV, he seems to be Alina’s father, well, it doesn’t matter to me, why would I know some old man?

Ink:

Everyone says that she is beautiful and that I will definitely have to see her live... Are they idiots?

Hope:

She is very kind, Drop, Goth, Pallete, mom, dad, everyone! Everyone says that she is very kind, I would like to meet her, but I’m unlikely to be able to get to her myself... I’ll ask Drop to take me to her!

Lux:

And again beauty... Why is it so important to everyone how and who looks? Why does no one care what kind of person is inside? ... Okay, she does charity work and loves animals, she can be forgiven—

Pallete:

Drop's older brother and sister's ex-boyfriend? Well, they kind of broke up, right? I often meet him because of Drop, I think he’s a good big brother!

Drop:

She can always cry calmly in front of me, I won’t see it anyway! But it really seems to me that she still almost always holds back so as not to cry, good job, bestie!

Cross:

I rarely eat his baked goods, but they will always be my favorite!

Passivemare:

I almost bumped into him several times and said hello... Hmm, he was always there for Lux... Maybe he's her guardian angel? ... And then I’m Drop’s guardian angel!

Goopmare:

Everyone says that he is bad and scary, but as for me, there is no one worse than an evil mother

Killer:

I don't know what to think about her, I don't know her, all I know is that she's Merciful's mom

Angst: ( dead )

I saw the outline of someone next to Drop... Was he trying to take my place as a guardian angel?! >:0

Angst: ( alive )

I don't know him

Crescent:

He's a priest... That's it

Merciless:

Merciful is very good! He's fun to play with and reads to me! Drop chose a good husband, but I still think that he is too old for her... Merci and I will find a suitable husband for Drop!

Bad Guys:

( bed gays )

They are bad..?

BONUS:

Callisto:

I sometimes confuse him with Pallete... Well, they are similar!

Taisiya:

I don't think I'll see her, she's either in the forest or locked in her room with that ghost that was always with Lux

Ayame:

She dislikes Merciful and Artemis so much that even I can notice it... I still can’t understand why?

Artemis:

Berry like me! She, like Merciful, is very good! Is everyone in their family like this?

Kira:

Judging by what Ati says, she is very religious and is in church all the time

Vivi:

Is she leaving the room? I don't believe-

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

E. L. A. by @anotherrosesthatfell

E. L. A. Artemis by @abloomingsunflower / @itzcherrybonbon

Edited:

[ vision -3.5 ]

#evil lux au #protect and cherish [e.l.a] merciless propaganda

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hoardlikegoldenirises · 1 year

Photo

I’ve edited my timeline a bit (a lot...) and the old version of this drawing just wasn’t really useful for me anymore because of certain changes etc. so i finally expanded it a LOT so i have a better idea of what flash’s hair should look like.

(while peter stays mostly the same XD he’s just not interested in experimenting with his hair i guess)

putting some individual bits (well, groups of 3-4) below the cut:

Flash in his late teens; his only form of hairstyling in high school was buzzcuts from his mom so i just wrote “high school” instead of an age lol... once he goes off to college he starts growing his hair out and by the time he loses his legs that’s about what it looks like (18ish), and then the one with the hello kitty shirt is about a year later, how he looks by the time he’s 19 and a half... then a few months later he buzzes it all off after some stuff happens that upsets him, that i won’t go into here but will be uploaded to the AO3 series as a fic later. short version is “he has a revelation about himself and gender that he’s really, really not ready to deal with and locks himself back in the closet” (not that he was really out of the closet but he was rolling around in 2006 wearing a hello kitty shirt and nail polish lol) so yeah he ends up depressed again, and drinking more (still not legally old enough to drink but he has his fake id and other ways of getting it, of course) and trying to be Outwardly Masculine like he was before :(

oh i’ll also note—since it’s not visible in these busts lol—flash has of course been using a wheelchair since he was 18 and a half, which is obviously because of the events in “these are not the clothes [...]” where doc ock crushes his legs... so aside from the teenage stuff, he’s in a rigid wheelchair throughout this entire au—i decided against him ever getting prosthetic legs because initially he is young enough that growth is still a partial factor, on top of prosthetic legs already being even more expensive than wheelchairs and already requiring multiple fittings in the early stages even for adults who are totally done growing, and then later they’re just like... poor... plus not being on his dad’s insurance after a certain age (esp. after being kicked out but i don’t think he was disowned)... even by the time he and peter get married and flash is on peter’s health insurance i doubt they’d be able to afford a pair of otk prosthetic legs on the salary of one full time teacher and one part time assistant gym teacher lol—that shit’s like tens of thousands PER leg... even with insurance i doubt they’d be able to throw together something like 20k-40k (or more) for prosthetic legs on top of being due to replace flash’s wheelchair... granted they do have rich friends (and my headcanon in 616 is that harry and/or liz are probably the ones who helped pay for flash’s mobility aids in the first place) but imo neither are the type to want to go asking for money, regardless of harry or liz’s willingness to give it to them... and being like, “hey can i have $40,000?” is a BIG ask lmao

ANYWAY Flash is still kind of in a rough place in his early 20s, but starts to get better and feel okay with the things that made him feel happy before, so his hair starts growing out again and he busts out the spidey choker but not the nail polish. am considering having andi be a character around this time (though obvs she’d be like... 10) but not sure about how i want to do that... or if i’ll ever write it XD def still having drinking problems as he gets actually legally old enough to drink but less depression = less drinking for him, to some extent... his beachy curls are just the cutest though

not pictured: flash converts to judaism in 2010 (along w/ his mother and sister)

(2011 necklace just a regular fine silver chain necklace peter got him for his birthday)

mid 20s flash is a lot happier and starts wearing nail polish again, as well as getting his associate’s degree and also starting the *other* AA (alcoholics anonymous) or a similar program happening kind of concurrently with some other stuff (Harry’s also been going through it which partially leads to flash realizing he wants to change some things in his life) and also just because he’s so busy with school and other stuff that it’s really just become a lot more impractical for him to drink as much, and with the support of aunt may and peter and his friends he’s getting a lot better about his drinking and also a lot more comfortable with himself and his sexuality and gender presentation now that he’s had time to think about it more and not be so afraid. turns out 7 years away from your abusive father helps a lot... also harrison specifically has had kind of poor health and while idk if flash is even in contact with him anymore, if he is then, that might contribute to flash being like, fuck i don’t want to be like that...

anyway he gets job as an assistant gym teacher at midtown around the same time peter gets a job there (though peter’s been teaching already for a few years while getting his masters, but he was teaching at a school near chelsea instead of in queens)... Flash puts his hair up at work but at home it’s like, :> girly time.

and peter proposes when they’re 26, cause he’s been thinking about how that stuff has been legal in nyc for a couple years (since 2011) and just. he’s peter. he wants to get married. he’s a wife guy. i doubt flash says yes IMMEDIATELY because he has some hang-ups related to his home life growing up and peter and him haven’t always had the smoothest relationship, so understandably he isn’t ready to say yes immediately .... but like... they’ve been exclusive for a few years on top of some off-and-on stuff in their early 20s, and peter has seen him in some of his worst, most rock-bottom moments in life as well as helping him realize who he is inside, and still loves him, so he says yes.

also around this time, along with the convo about if marriage is the right fit, they have a convo about flash’s ... “identity issues” and talk about that and make good strides there. peter helps flash embrace that aspect of himself, especially now that peter’s mature enough to be capable of supporting flash without being pushy or aggressive or expecting him to just magically be grateful LOL—my, how they grow up XD so this is when they first start experimenting with feminine terms of endearment (at least on purpose) and stuff like... well, they’re engaged so i guess it’s just fiance LOL so not girlfriend. “wife-to-be.” and other more uh. nsfw things 😂

(the blue pendant necklace is a wedding gift from felicia)

they get married, still 26 because their wedding is in the spring and flash’s birthday isn’t until june and peter’s is in october, but like, ALMOST 27, the long hair is definitely what flash has at 27 following the wedding, and then the even longer hair is around the time the man-spider fic is taking place and has grown out a lot.

i’m still using he/him pronouns for flash in the man-spider fic as of my most recent edits, but i actually am not 100% sure what the deal is with that. i think there are lot of feminine terms of endearment in the privacy of their home, and i’ve had felicia call flash a pretty girl, and even tossed in a “wife” in a recent edit of ch 1, but flash isn’t really publicly out... “boy mode at work” as the doodle says lol. there’s always a chance i go back and edit pronouns. we’ll see how that shakes out. i think when flash is somewhere around mid-40s that might shift over to like, more feminine everything... a more comprehensive social transition i guess

then the late 40s one is mostly an estimate of like, this might be what flash looks like in 20 years... but idk for sure. wife city. a couple of white hairs but she’s not going gray as much as peter is lol

also—re the wedding stuff: originally there was no yarmulke for flash’s wedding outfit but i recently committed to flash asking his mother about their heritage (in “last week [...]”) with the idea that maybe his mom’s side is jewish or used to be jewish (but that there’s been a lot of intermarriage) and now have decided flash converts in 2010, so not an interfaith ceremony, just a jewish one.

here are their wedding rings. peter proposed without a ring but after they talked through if marriage was the right step for them and flash agreed to it, flash also eventually asked if he could get an engagement ring... because gender. so they buy a really small, simple one that doesn’t attract too much attention but still has a little tiny diamond... peter offers to wear one too but it’s not very practical for his line of work (spidey lol) so they end up just getting the one for flash. and then their wedding bands match but flash’s is skinnier just cause he doesn’t want to draw too much attention to the set. like it’s a small, happy thing for him, but that doesn’t mean he wants randos staring at his rings (and also they’re not exactly wealthy on a single full time teacher’s salary + a part time assistant gym teacher’s salary to support them and pitch in for aunt may...)

i can see peter getting an anniversary ring for flash eventually too... maybe 10 year...

also as a sidenote, i just wanted to say i def agree that peter doesn’t need to be married to be an adult or be mature, and that it’s weird when people boil it down to “peter has to be married to be an adult.” the problem with comics right now isn’t that he isn’t married, but rather the circumstances for why it was decided that they had to end that relationship, and the way he is watered down into a nothing character with no personality and no flaws who isn’t allowed to swear or drink in the name of Mascot-ification while his dark hair and features are made lighter and more generic (arguably more aryan) (latter also a problem with flash and why i only draw flash with curly or wavy red or strawberry hair now instead of the straight yellow blonde he’s been given over the past 20 years)

ANYWAY

what i’m saying is that while marriage shouldn’t be the only way for a romance to continue, etc. and emulating traditional gender roles and marriage roles is not the only way to be in love etc. i do think peter is a wife guy (and how many times has his first solution to literally any problem with a woman has been “oh no i have to propose”?) so i think in this case it’s warranted, and peter being like, well, gay marriage is legal... and we both have jobs at the same school now... and we’re probably gonna move soon... maybe we should get married.... makes sense to me 😂 especially considering things like healthcare and the fact that flash is no longer young enough to stay on his dad’s insurance... and peter is very much a protective (overprotective) person who wants to take care of the people he cares about... makes sense that he’d be like, i love you, i want to be with you for as long as possible, let me take care of you better

but also: me smushing fictional characters together like barbies: teehee wedding

me giving flash longer and longer hair and more feminine presentation could also be talked about as like, trans people don’t need to emulate traditional gender roles—but i like when flash has long hair and i think it looks pretty and cute. but also frankly part of the reason i gave flash long hair is less to do with gender presentation and more to do with the fact that i grew up in a family where 4/5 of my uncles grew their hair out long as adults specifically because they’d all had buzzcuts their whole childhood and adolescence so growing their hair out was a way for them to assert their personhood lol

and i think that applies to flash here too, in addition to the genders and long hair as a form of feminine androgyny

as for peter:

i drew a lot less for him XD his hair is mostly the same 2-3 styles cause he doesn’t care that much about fashion whereas flash has the whole Queerness and Gender thing going on. (otherwise i wouldn’t have given him like 10 hairstyles LOL)

late teens and early 20s, peter starts to loosen up a little bit with his hair as he gets older and more adult... he also loosens up his clothing for all of five seconds because with the symbiote when he’s 17-18 (mostly 18) he doesn’t need to hide a suit under his clothes, it just exists, so 18 is his “slutty button-downs” era XD but then a few months before he turns 19 he loses the symbiote so it’s back to buttoned-up collars and turtlenecks and stuff... but sexy instead of nerdy. also he shaves his awful teenage boy barely-a-mustache.

that era of looser hair and more tightly done casual clothes is also around when flash goes back to trying to be masc and he and peter are separated (both in terms of peter living away from aunt may’s house and also in terms of not dating) for a little while.

but, early 20s is also when peter and flash get back together after a couple years and enter a steady relationship—when they’re around 21, 22 years old? and that happens kind of concurrently with flash figuring himself out with less fear, and peter helps with that a little bit. so as peter starts getting shaggier and less uptight, flash also starts to relax and grow his hair out. so they get shaggy hair together 😌 (though flash’s is def longer, peter just needs to go get his hair cut more often XD)

mid-20s, you can see Pete has gotten shaggy as he loosens up! but then some shit happens over a span of ~3 months that’s not great that i won’t get into here (see this post ) and he ends up hospitalized etc... after that, he gets his hair cut once he’s doing better, and keeps it pretty short and tidy from here on out as a way to, i guess... have some control over his life. it makes him feel better to be clean-shaven, neatly coiffed, etc. so from his mid-20s onward he’s permanently said goodbye to the baby mullets.

and then like i said he doesn’t go through as many hairstyles so i didn’t bother drawing out 10 different variations of his mid-20s haircuts... cause they’re all roughly the same but with varying levels of bang length depending on when the last time he got a haircut was XD

so skipping to 26/27 for the wedding stuff, and then 28 for man-spider... he’s matured now.... (damn wish i was that put-together at 28, my life’s a mess😂) so in man-spider they’ve been married for a little over a year (rough strain on the second year of marriage 😅) and then after it, he looks mostly the same but is a little bit fuzzier (even more?!) and has slightly pointier teeth.

and then in his 40s aka DILF with bad facial hair era, his hair will start going PRETTY gray pretty quickly... with that white streak... his hair is gonna be more silvery than flash’s as they age, partly cause of the stress of being spider-man and partly cause silver fox suits him lol

(not that flash hasn’t had stressful stuff happening too but it’s a little different)

and yes i gave him stupid facial hair, as is his right. any middle aged peter needs some kind of dorky goatee or mustache, that’s just the rules okay. i almost gave him a beard but i didn’t like the way it looked XD (also a beard under the mask seems unpleasant)

he dies at 49.

i drew this anyway:

I mostly just wanted to doodle that cause I thought it was cute but like... Peter gets gunned down before he even hits his 50th birthday. like literally a few weeks before he turns 50. It’s tragic but not surprising in the end and probably something they were a little prepared for considering everything that happens in their life together. at least flash will be a hot milf widow. (except she dies of a broken heart on his birthday instead) (aka a heart attack + a fall in the middle of the night)

i’ve just been thinking about that scene in asm500 where future peter gets taken out by a literal swarm of cops and a sniper... though that universe obviously has its own stuff going on and implies peter kinda goes bad, and i’m not really looking to do that to him or flash (as much as i like a Killer Spidey, i don’t think it’s the right fit here) we’ll see... i just know i want to re-emphasize that peter will treat flash with love, gentleness, and tenderness up until his last breath... wifeguy til the end. i think maybe fisk is involved or something...

anyway misc doodles from the past two years:

tfw you turn from a circle to a dorky teenager into being chiseled

i’ll also note that peter has a lot of issues ... like a lot... and he was already a temperamental teen but he has some serious anger and other issues as a teenager due to sexual trauma as a 12 year old :( poor kid. you can see mentions of that in the stuff i have posted; peter’s mostly coping as an adult but sometimes it creeps back out... :/ contributed to his antisocial behavior in high school for sure. also he hit puberty so hard XD his voice dropped like three octaves between age 12 and age 18 lmfao

added flash onto this older drawing so i could have a comparison of the way they grew... they both had major growth spurts but flash’s happened when he was around 13 and peter’s didn’t hit until 16-ish (well no he had a smaller growth spurt around 12-13)... a couple of angry children XD... also edited this to make ben shorter cause i realized i made him like. very tall on accident. but closer to 5′11″ here instead of like 6′2″ XD

and peter’s spidey suits over the years... first costume is dorkier and also a little more silver age styled, then black suit as an 18 year old and then he makes a new suit since he’s bigger after losing the black suit, and needs something better and more durable... has also filled out a LOT by 19/20 lol now he’s got that booty... and i think his suit probably tends to be some variation on that suit throughout his adulthood...

i’ll note that originally i planned for the black suit to be a little earlier but some stuff changed, so peter probably shouldn’t be QUITE that gangly and thin in the black suit. but otherwise it’s mostly right.

i also have this variant (with bonus six arms style) which i like a lot too though for all of these i don’t actually love the spider logo’s look ... this was a scrapped idea for a different AU so just ignore the six arms and spider face stuff XD not relevant here, just looking at the suit style

it’s really just the default spider-suit i draw tbh XD (this pic and the next obvs from that 8 page comic i did, not from this au)

i like this logo style better.

also bonus: a general idea of what the rest of the gang looks like..

#nadiart #rough art #fanadiart #peterflash #peter parker #flash thompson #trans flash #spiderman #peterflash timeline au #came in through the window last night

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arielchelby · 2 years

Photo

The Blue Rose Hotel | Mamma Mia AU

This is a teaser for a collab with @evax3 and @mysnowdragons for @moondancer71 ‘s birthday! The moodboard was made by the talented @evax3 !

AN: Happiest of birthdays to my bestie! Thank you for all the laughs and support, and for generally being such a great person. I hope this brings some brightness to your day!

Jon led Robb and Arya to a scenic viewpoint off the path, and they huddled together. A spectrum of blue flowers littered the green brush around them, matching the crystal waters of the Narrow Sea shining behind them.

Jon’s heart was hammering. “What I’m about to tell you, I haven’t told anyone - not even Dany.” His palms were sweaty and he looked down at his shoes. “It’s about my father.”

“Your father?” Robb said, eyes wide.

Arya was all intensity. “Did you figure out who he is?”

“Yes… and no,” Jon started. “My mom always said it was a summer romance and he left before she knew she was pregnant with me. I was starting to accept I’d never know more, but then…”

He pulled out a little blue diary he’d tucked away in his pocket. It was covered in blue roses, only faint remnants of glitter left, the edges of the book worn. “I found this when I was cleaning out some old trunks.” There’s no going back now. “It’s the diary my mother kept the year she was pregnant with me.”

“Seven hells,” Robb cursed. “Should we be seeing this?”

“Of course we should!” Arya interjected. “What does it say?

Jon blew out a breath. Gods, this is mortifying. “July 17th,” he read his mother’s words. “What a night-” he cleared his throat and steeled himself to continue, “Rhaegar Targaryen rowed me over to the little island…” He stopped, unable to go on. “Anyway, you get the picture.”

Before he could close the book and hide it away for all time, his little cousin, slick as a weasel, snatched it from his hands. He chased after her, but she darted away easily and climbed up on a boulder.

She smirked down at him triumphantly and then to his horror, began reading. “We danced on the beach, we kissed on the beach and - dot dot dot?” Her face scrunched up. “Dot dot dot, what does that mean?”

Jon groaned and hid his face in his hands.

Robb looked up at his sister with helpless frustration. “What do you think it means, Arya?”

Realization lit up her features. “Oh! Aunt Lyanna!” she laughed. Her eyes were scanning the secret pages greedily. “There’s more! Rhaegar is the one. I know he is,” she lay her hand over her heart and pulled a cheesy smile. “I’ve never felt this way before.”

“Alright!” Jon called up to her. “That’s enough.” He scaled the boulder to catch her but she dodged away.

“I’d heard about him before,” she read out loud while she danced out of Jon’s reach. “And now I understand what they say about him - he is a love machine.” Arya burst into laughter and doubled over, while Robb struggled to hide his own amusement.

Jon threw up his hands in defeat. There was no way to escape this humiliation. “Glad you two find this so funny.”

Arya panted through a few more giggles and then relented. “I’m sorry.”

“Come on now, Arya,” Robb said. “That’s enough. Climb down.”

“No,” Jon replied. “I still think this is better than me reading it to you. Skip to July 31st.”

She flipped through the pages. “All this time Rhaegar has been telling me he loves me and now he’s announced he’s engaged. He’s going home to get married and I’m never going to see him again.” Arya stopped reading. “Poor Lyanna.”

“Wait,” Robb interrupted. “Rhaegar Targaryen - as in Daenerys Targaryen? Are they related?”

Jon rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s her older brother…”

Robb’s face pinched in confusion. “So…”

“That won’t be a problem,” Jon said, unable to meet his cousin’s eyes. “Believe me.”

Robb looked uncertain. “Ok. So he’s your dad then?”

There was no good way to explain it. “Arya, go to August 4th,” he said.

Arya dutifully searched for the page. “August 4th,” she read more seriously than before. “What a night. Arthur Dayne rented a motor boat and I took him over to the little island. I’m still heartbroken over Rhaegar but Arthur is so wild and such a fun guy, one thing led to another and–” Arya paused. “Dot dot dot…”

Jon was never going to live this down.

“Bloody hell,” Robb muttered. “There’s two of them.

Arya giggled. “Good for Aunt Lyanna!”

Jon sighed. The Old Gods were punishing him. He knew they were. “Go to August 11th.”

Even Arya looked embarrassed now as she found the next page. “August 11th. What a night. Howland Reed showed up out of the blue and I said I’d show him the island. He’s so sweet and understanding I couldn’t help it and dot dot dot!” Arya held the book against her chest. “How many more are there?”

Jon snatched the book out of her hands, and tucked it away. “That’s it,” he said. “Only three.”

Arya snorted. “Only three.”

“So you don’t know who it is?” Robb asked.

“I don’t,” Jon admitted. “But I am about to find out.”

Robb looked skeptical. “How will you do that?”

“Because…” Jon paused. He felt like he was about to jump into ice cold water. “I invited them - all of them - to the wedding. And they said yes.”

Arya barked out a laugh.

Robb was nonplussed. “By the gods, Jon. And Aunt Lyanna doesn’t know? What is she going to think when they just show up?”

Jon didn’t want to think about that. “My whole life it’s felt like a part of me was missing. I don’t want to hurt her, but I have to know.”

#Happy Birthday Moon!!!#jonerys fanfic #jonerys moodboard #mamma mia au #fic teaser

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softly-potter · 7 months

Text

Still Friends | Chapter 18: New Day

Summary: After a chance encounter at a party, Wanda and Bucky find they have more in common than they realized.

This fic is heavily inspired by 'Friends' by my lovely friend Poppy. She is aware of this fic and I've been given permission for this marvel-version retelling! If you haven't read her dramione fic 'Friends', I HIGHLY suggest it. I fell in love with the story and couldn't help but wonder, what if it was Wanda and Bucky instead of Hermione and Draco? Thus "Still Friends" was born. Enjoy!

Pairing: Bucky X Wanda

Word Count: 33,068

Warning: smut, drug use, depression

May 9th, 2028

Solitude is something he had always craved, but now that he had it he wasn’t so sure. He’s completely and utterly alone, and he’s the only person to blame.

I fucking hate you, is something that had crossed his lips.

Kate is only here because she needs parents, not because she actually wants anything to do with you, he had screamed.

I’m glad your family was fucking snapped, he had sobbed.

He’s pretty sure that was the last straw.

Bucky doesn’t know what cruel god had allowed him into the lives of Laura and Clint, but he knew it was an unfair one. They were nothing but good to him, and he despised them for it. They did more for him than Wanda or anyone ever could. Cleaned for him, cooked his meals, washed him. Held his hand, told him the truth.

And still he’d said all those things.

It was painful, watching them go. Knowing they wouldn’t come back. He’d finally broken them down, shown them who he really was. He was someone who didn’t deserve friends like Laura and Clint.

He was crushing them, holding them back. Ruining their family.

He gave them the push that they needed, freeing them of the burden that is himself.

Sam had reached out a few times, even stopped by his apartment, but Bucky had screamed at him, threatened his sister, and that had been enough to stop Sam from ever trying again. Good for him.

Sif stopped showing up in the mornings, but he was still able to get his alcohol, and he was happy that she hadn’t taken that away too. Maybe she had rekindled things with Thor, maybe they’d made up.

He hopes they did.

Curled on the floor of his shower, Bucky holds his knees to his chest, the tears mixing with the water and feels himself tremble.

This is all he deserves. The bottom of the barrel. He had thought that was Hydra, the brain washing, but he’d been wrong. He’s an alcoholic, but his super soldier body refuses to give in, refusing to let him succumb to the addiction.

The people in his life didn’t deserve to be around that. Not even her.

He loves them, all of them, with his entire being, but he wants them to think the opposite. Let them think the worst of him; that way, they won’t mourn when he’s gone.

May 27th, 2028

Bucky is so inebriated he can’t even attempt to workout. Not that he’s been working out these past few weeks anyway, but at least the venture had been made. He slouches on the front door, his feet wobbly in his view, and he lurches, feeling the vomit rising before it happens. Spilling the little contents of his stomach onto the sidewalk, he presses his face against the glass of the door, the cool feeling soothing against his hot skin.

The 24hour gym is completely empty, and he’s grateful no one is around to see him like this. It's pathetic really, and he sniffs, eyes trying to focus on the tv. He can’t hear it from outside, but he squints, makes out figures on the screen.

Lead is lighter than his blood when he sees her.

Dressed in white, Wanda is ethereal. She looks nervous, her hands twisting on the arm of Clint as he walks with her down a stretch of carpet.

Bucky is breathing harshly as he reads the headline outloud.

“Avengers…renew vows in..m-much anticipated w-wedding renewal.”

Clint pats the hand that is on his arm gently, handing her over to a patient and handsomely-dressed Vision. They smile at one another and lace their fingers. Bucky can’t hear but their mouths move as a priest opens his bible, eyes only for each other. The priest begins his sermon, and the camera panels over the crowd.

Now sitting with his family, Clint smiles brightly at them, his arm wrapped around his wife as their three children look on. Kate sits behind them, her face gleeful.

Bucky spots many other faces he recognizes, Sam and Sarah, Bruce sitting behind Pepper and Morgan.

His chest aches when he realizes he hadn’t even been invited.

He’s glad he hadn’t been. He isn’t sure he could’ve taken it.

Heavy tears clog his throat, blurs his eyesight. He weeps for nothing and for everything. Sobs for his broken heart and broken life. Sobs for empty promises and ruined moments. Sobs for the girl he loved more than anything, the girl that couldn’t love him back.

May 27th, 9:58AM

He stirs as he sleeps, his forehead banging on the glass door as he jolts awake. He had passed out, slept against the wall, and his body ached. He hears quiet mummers, a few snickers as he cracks open his eyes.

“Uh..you ok sir?”

Bucky snaps up, his head pounding. Three men and a woman in suits surrounded him, staring curiously. The woman had a cellphone pressed to her ear, speaking quickly into her device.

He pales, and scrambles to his feet.

“Sir, I think you should wait here,” one of the men warned. Bucky wants to melt into the floor with embarrassment. His sick is a few feet away, dry and multiple shades of green.

This is really what his life has come to, it’s worse than his nightmares.

Bucky shoves passed the suit-claded individuals, stalks to his bike. He drops his keys once, twice, hands shaking, pressing it into the ignition. The ride starts off bumpy, and his vision is watery as he tries to focus. His only thoughts are on her.

She should’ve been up there with him, not the other guy.

He had taken care of her, loved her despite it all.

The idea of him and Wanda exchanging vows, buying a house, raising a family, made his heart sore, and then dive bomb as it would never happen. He clenches the gas harder, speeds up.

He wishes he could hate Vision. The android had taken her away from him, had stolen his one chance; but he knew that was horseshit. Vision hadn’t done anything but exist. He hadn’t made empty promises, he hadn’t lied. Wanda did.

And Bucky still couldn’t find it in himself to hate her. Not really.

The wind is wiping so fast it chills his bones. It’s exhausting, the physical and emotional toll of being in love with her, and he wants to out-run it. His bike gains speed, and his teeth chatter.

It had been so long since he felt good, or at least didn’t feel bad. He needed it to stop, just for a moment. He just needed a break.

The wind roars in his ears but its silent in his head. Quiet moments where there’s nothing but the high pitched squeal of emptiness is all he desires, the only solace he has; he drives faster.

He swerves cooly around a slower moving vehicle, lane splitting between the left and right. A driver flips him off, honks their horn. He ignores it.

His pulse is pumping through his ears, the adrenal coursing quickly, and he feels nauseous hit him but he doesn’t slow down.

Moving around another car, his eyes flit from the road to his hands. The same hands that used to hold her, caress her face. They’re useless now.

Another car honks and he grunts, speeding up to split between the lanes.

Bucky wasn’t sure if he should go faster. He didn’t really want to, his cheeks ached and his head was pounding. But the world had treated him harshly and there’s only so much he can take.

He had tried, he really did. Gave it his best shot. But he had acquired happiness, and it seemed like it wasn’t supposed to be. Because of the after, after the dust settles and everyone moves on, his heart can’t heal.

The liquor had never been a part of his plan, not really. But it had been so easy, had hurt so little.

A horn sounds from his left and he swerves hard, narrowly avoiding a Nissan as it slowed down to avoid him, its horn blaring.

“May I give you a hug?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

He would kill to hold her right about now.

Eyes stinging, Bucky bites down on his cheek hard, tastes the copper as he accelerates. He stops trying to weave around cars, instead lane splits completely.

“I was selfish, I wanted you for as long as I could.”

He wonders where they’ll go for their long-overdue honeymoon. He hopes it's somewhere nice, somewhere warm so she wouldn’t be cold. Somewhere without cameras so he can’t watch it on the news.

“I love you, I do,” she gasps, eyes rapid. “Don’t do this.”

Cars honk as he wizzes by, his handlebar clips a car's mirror. He can’t tell what time it is, but it must be early.

A brand new day. His last new day.

When the semi honks, he doesn’t hear it. Barely feels himself lose his balance, doesn’t really register that he’s airborne. He’s light as a feather as his bike collides with the truck, the sound of breaking glass and crunching metal is muted below him.

Maybe if he gets high enough, he can watch her fly away with the love of her life. She’s holding onto Vision's hand, the both of them smiling, and Bucky waves at her sadly, his muddled senses not registering that he’s descending.

He hopes she’s happy. It's all he’s ever really wanted for her; he just thought he could give it to her.

#winterwitch #wanda x bucky #cross posted on ao3 #hurt bucky barnes

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animaniacswritingrequests · 1 year

Note

Dot comforting the viewer/reader the way she did with Nora Rita's daughter in the cinceñera episode from S2?

I sighed, holding my head in my hands. Today had been a total disaster, and on my birthday no less! I thought bad things happening on your birthday were things that only happened in dramatic sitcoms or faked reality shows, but with my ruined cake and birthday presents destroyed, I found out the harsh truth.

“Ahemm.” I could hear a small voice clearing their throat behind me, and willing myself to not look totally pathetic to whoever it was, I slowly turned my head around. Behind me was who seemed to be the youngest of the sibling trio, sporting a yellow flower that tied her floppy ears together and a simple pink skirt. “Not enjoying the party so much, are you??”

“You could say that…” I murmured, shifting in place a bit. It was pretty obvious, one didn’t need to be a party expert to be able to tell that this party was utterly doomed. “Who are you, anyways?”

“Why, I’m the warner sister!” She’d exclaimed, holding out her skirt and giving a little twirl. “Aka Dot Warner, aka Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Third, aka your favorite Warner sibling!”

I raised my eyebrows a bit, the Princess Angelina… Bo Fanna… well, that set of names caught me off guard. Despite my still prominent sadness, a soft giggle did escape me.

“What about your name?” She’d ask me then, taking a seat next to me.

“Y/N.” I replied after a second. I couldn’t explain it, but something about Dot made her seem easy to talk to. A sad smile stayed on my lips, as I brushed back my H/C hair, and after a short pause, added: “aka the owner of this sad excuse for a birthday party.”

Dot frowned at that, before a comforting smile reappeared back onto her. I could feel a gloved hand touch my shoulder gently, realizing she had placed hers there.

“You know, you’re not the first person I’ve met that had a disastrous party. I thought she was nothing but a stuck-up brat, but it turned out she was just upset because the one thing missing from her party to make it perfect wasn’t able to make it.”

There was a moment of silence. “I know exactly how she feels, then. My parents were supposed to be here to celebrate with me, but they’re once again too busy with work to pay attention to their own kid. I got so upset thinking about it that I took it out on the poor birthday cake. I feel like such a loser.”

I’d gesture to the mess of what was once a birthday cake, ruined by my own hands.

“Yeesh.” I could hear her say, sucking in through her teeth. I groaned, burying my head in my hands and wanting to disappear. I didn’t even notice the similar looking puppy-cat-rabbit wearing a backwards red cap and blue sweater devouring the dessert.

“Listen, Y/N, if your parents can’t find a way to make time for their child especially on their birthday, then they’re the biggest losers in this whole situation. They don’t deserve someone as amazing as you, and I’m sure we can turn this party around.”

I sniffled, peeking through my fingers and glancing over at Dot. “How? The night’s pretty much over, and everything is a mess. I’m a mess!”

“Maybe, but messes never stopped me before. I mean, meet my brothers and you’ll see what I mean.”

I laughed, finally uncovering my face. The weight on my chest was barely noticeable by that point, and it was all thanks to her.

“Come on, let’s make this right. We’ll rebake a cake, max out your Mom’s credit card that she probably left behind and is freaking out about at the mall, you know… all the good things.”

I couldn’t help it. I pulled her into a hug, embracing her. I felt a sense of relief when after some time, she hugged me back. I closed my eyes, my lips pulled upwards in what felt like a permanent smile.

“Don’t worry about it too much, Y/N.” She’d reassure me, her hands massaging from my shoulders down to my back in comfort.

“Thanks, Dot. Maybe this party won’t be so bad after all.”

#reader fic #dot warner #reader and dot warner #fluff #animaniacs #animaniacs fanfiction #writing #fanfiction #princess angelina contessa louisa francesca banana fanna bo besca iii #y/n #my first reader fic for this blog!! i dont usually write these but heyy always good to do smthn diff #and the warner sister #i wrote this in first person pov but if anyone else requests a reader fic and they prefer second person pls be sure to specify!#dot and the reader are friends here btw nothing shippy #also sorry if this one is a bit shorter. short and sweet we;ll call it

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morticialittlefont · 1 month

Text

Bringing forth her Wings

As a little girl, Talia watched birds obsessively, and learned how to draw just so she could capture their wings. Figures ranging from pilots like Bessie Coleman to superheroes like Storm were especially her favorites, and she voraciously tore through any piece of their media she could get her hands on.

——————

This especially came true once her chronic pain started, right around her eleventh birthday. Scraping aches that dragged into her shoulders, like she pulled the weight of the world behind her, haunted Talia’s every move.

A couple weeks later her Mom came in to give her a goodnight kiss, and put her hand onto Talia’s shoulder, and Talia whimpered.

Her mom pulled her hand back as if scalded. “Baby? Baby, what’s wrong? Oh my god!”

“It’s okay, Mama. The pain is just really bad today.” Tanya squinted to hold back the tears watering in her eyes and smiled.

“Pain? Talia, baby, what pain? Sit up, if you can, let me look.”

Talia grumbled about being comfortable, but did as her mom said, dragging herself up by the bars of her headboard. She only winced once, but that was enough for her mom.

“Malik? Honey, come here!” Her mom called as she lifted up Talia’s shirt, exposing her back.

Her dad shuffled in, rubbing his mouth with his hand like he always did when he was tired. “What’s wrong, Keisha?”

Her mom didn’t answer, but only stared.

Her dad came and stared too for a moment. Then, he growled, “Who did this to her?”

“I don’t know. I just patted her back and she cried out.“ Talia’s mom gently guided her to the edge of the bed, so her dad could keep looking at her back but her mom could face her. “Baby, did anyone hurt you?”

Talia was confused. “No?”

Her dad said, “Natalia. Your shoulders are black and blue. Who’s been hitting you?”

“No one, Daddy.” Talia looked at her mom. “Isn’t this just growing pains?”

Her mom twisted her mouth. “Maybe.” That meant no. “How long have your shoulders been hurting, baby?”

“A couple weeks. Mama, I’m okay, right?”

Talia’s mom twisted her mouth further.

Her Dad rumbled from behind. “Talia, I can make sure this won’t happen again. Who did this? You don’t have to keep them safe. I pro-“ He took a deep breath. “I promise I won’t hurt them. I just want to talk to whoever did this.”

“Daddy, isn’t this just growing pains?”

After assuring her that no, that it wasn’t just normal growing pains, her mom drove her to the hospital and her dad stayed because he had an early morning and someone had to stay home with her little sisters.

It was scary. The lights were bright, and her mom kept fussing about her back pain, offering her lap to lie on and staring down anyone that so much as looked at Talia. The waiting room wasn’t that full, but it still took two hours, Talia slipping in and out of sleep despite the pain and the light, before they were called up.

When the nurse saw the bruises, her mom was lead away and a bunch of people asked her a lot of questions.

Eventually, though, some doctor noticed that the bruising was ‘deep but consistently in the same spot’, which would be weird for abuse. They did some X-rays and noticed that her shoulder blades were large, tilted and spread farther away from her spine than was usual.

Her mom remembered that her grandmother had often complained of shoulder pain, so the doctor said it was probably congenital.

“Miss Roberts,” the doctor turned to Talia. “I’m going to prescribe you some medicine. We can’t do anything to fix this right now, because you’re growing, but if you’re ever in pain, you tell your Mom right away and she’ll give you some medicine, mkay?”

Talia nodded, and that was that. The two went home, and passed out, and Talia got to miss school. Later they went out for the medicine and ice cream.

——————

The medicine never really helped, so when it ran out, Talia didn’t remind her parents to get more. She could ignore it anyway.

——————

Years later, Talia was in the middle of getting a degree in aerospace engineering, but that didn’t stop her from still creating art.

She finished a particularly ambitious painting, and after one or twenty encouragements from her parents, submitted it to the art show.

The painting was kind of a self portrait, kind of a fuck-you to her chronic pain, and kind of a callback to the Flying Africans stories.

At the bottom and to the right lay the world, and over that, the sky fading into space. Above both was a flying woman.

The subject was viewed from above, arms out to the sides, broken manacles on both, and a leg stretched out to West Africa. Dark wings like those of a glossy starling covered left side, too big to fit entirely on the canvas. The feathers closest to the subject’s back were covered in blood.

It wasn’t obviously her, because the viewer couldn’t see the subject’s face, it being tilted down to look at the world below. But both she and the subject were the same rich umber, and she included a couple moles on her shoulder and upper back. Talia figured those little details might tip off people who knew her.

“You think I should send it in?” She asked her mom. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Talia could practically hear her mom roll her eyes. “Baby, I’ve been telling you since middle school! You’re good! And from what I saw over winter break, it’s beautiful!”

The university had a gallery, and every February before the senior art students had settled on their own gallery set ups, they held an art show for the other students to submit their work. So Talia brought it in on the Friday deadline.

The student curator was her friend, Selena, and she went wild when she saw it. “Oh my god, please tell me you have more!” Selena pleaded.

Talia shook her head and looked down, hiding a shy grin. “Nothing this big. I have a lot of sketches, though?”

“Go get them. Right now. You gave me an idea.”

Selena sent her back twice before she was satisfied, calling for anything from other smaller paintings to doodles in the margins of notebooks. “For the record,” Selena said as she grabbed the pile of papers from Talia’s hands, “I’m not doing this just ‘cause you’re my friend. We didn’t get a ton of submissions but,” Selena winked. “We also didn’t get much of anything at this caliber.”

Talia’s face heated up and she mumbled something about getting lunch together later.

“Mmmm, I’m not sure about that.” Selena eyed the piles of artwork. “This might take me a while. Would you mind if I ripped some of the drawings?”

“Huh?” Talia started reaching for her work.

“Just the margin doodles! And maybe a few of the smaller drawings. Just to get rid of the empty space! I promise. I will NOT rip the actual drawings.”

“I don’t know-“

“Please! I promise you’ll love it.”

“Tell me what you’re thinking, over lunch.”

——————

Selena sketched out what she was thinking on a napkin in the dining hall. “Do you see?”

Talia did see. “That’s a lot of work, Selena. Are you sure?” Her back throbbed - anxiety always made it flare up.

Selena laid her hand on top of Talia’s. “Have I ever steered you wrong?”

Talia took a bite of her burrito.

Selena sucked her teeth. “Shut up. How about this - I can use the big pieces up on these parts, and then you come supervise me doing the little bits how you like it.”

Talia kept chewing, thinking it over.

“Please? I feel inspired. I pretty much got everything else planned out, the lighting and set up will be super easy. Yours will be the fun part! The challenge!“

Talia raised an eyebrow.

“Okay. I also kind of miss doing collages. Between coursework and this job, I have NOT had enough time for fun or my own stuff!”

Talia pursed her lips - she could still taste the jungle juice from the party the weekend prior.

“Okay! And I have to impress my supervisor. She was kind of disappointed in my set up for that pottery exhibition last semester, and that bitch Gina has been sniffing around. I gotta keep this job!”

Talia grinned. “I was just playing with you. Yeah, okay. But how about I help you do the little bits when I’m done writing my paper tomorrow?”

——————

Talia couldn’t believe how beautiful it ended up looking.

The wings that flew off the canvas were extended by her drawings over the years, layering over each other like feathers on a backboard Selena procured. The doodles were artfully ripped and scrappily pinned on the edges, to mimic how some remiges separated when spread out in flight.

Talia did end up having to rip around some of her larger drawings to add to those feathers, but ny the end, she was smiling. The other feathers weren’t the same color as the wings on the painting, but-

“It looks like she’s coming to life.” Selena said while pinning up the last few ‘feathers’.

Talia nodded, heart swelling. “Like magic or something.”

“Yeah.”

Once they were done pinning the perfect shade of colored paper to cover up the rest of the backboard, both women laid down in exhaustion. Selena fell onto her back, arms flopped out, but Talia carefully folded up her own and laid on her stomach.

“It looks beautiful, Selena.”

“Yeah it does!” Selena punched the air. “Thanks, Talia.”

Talia raised an eyebrow at that. “No, thank you, Selena. I just thought I’d get a corner on a wall, not a whole-“ she cast her eyes around for a second. “Display.”

Both ladies chuckled.

“You have to put your name on there now.“

“No!” Selena sat up and looked at Talia.

She was already shaking her head. “I mean it, Selena. I wouldn’t have tried this - I wouldn’t even thought of it! Yeah, it’s all my drawings but you shaped it. As long as my name goes first, you should put your name on the placard, too.”

“Oh shit!” Selena sprang to her feet. “I got to go and make the placards!”

Selena shooed Talia out of the gallery - non-employees weren’t allowed to stay without supervision - promised to maybe put her name on the sign too, and rushed to the printers, hoping they’d still be open this late.

Talia just laughed, and went to bed.

Selena had insisted they hang the backboard next to the canvas and then pin the collage, so they’d create the perfect perspective. However, Selena was short, so that meant Talia spent most of the time decorating the high parts, with her arms above her head.

As such, her arms and her back ached. Still, between the excitement of the day, the opening of the gallery on Monday, and a feeling of accomplishment from the work, Talia drifted off to sleep quicker than usual. The paper could wait until Sunday.

——————

Sunday had her stuck in bed all day from pain. She managed to finish her paper and eventually get a shower, but that was it.

——————

Dressed in a mint green button-down and a long grey skirt with pink accents, Talia walked into the gallery opening like she owned the place. And that night, she did.

Pride swelled her heart as people walked around the room, and always stopped to stare at her painting. Several left long comments about her work in the logbook. One even mentioned her work on the box braids in the painting - it justified all the agonizing hours spent on the details.

Once the opening party was over, Talia, Selena and the other attending artists poured over the book, and then took pictures with their works. Talia did one where she stood to the right of her canvas, and then one where she mimicked the subject, life imitating art imitating life, wings stretched behind her.

As the week went by, there weren’t nearly as many attendees as there were opening night - but according to Selena, they all still stopped at her painting. She came near closing each day to check on the comments in the logbook.

On Friday, she had a little time to kill, so Talia came early and people watched. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw one man stop and consider her work for a solid twenty minutes.

Selena snuck over. “That’s the third time he’s done that. Wednesday, I was busy, but yesterday we talked for a bit about the composition. I bet he’d love to talk to you.”

“No, I-“

“Yes, you!“ Selena poked Talia in the side. “Go!”

Talia went.

Recognition struck as she got closer. He was an international student who worked in the Tutoring Center, and helped her a couple times with her physics. He was kind of cute, but no name came to mind.

Pretending to be a patron, she walked around the room until she reached her painting collage, and stared for a bit too. With slight dismay, she saw that one of the doodle scraps that made up a remige higher up looked it was going to fall soon.

“I wonder…” he said suddenly.

“Yes?” Talia said, rising up on her toes slightly.

He shook his head, smiling to himself. “Just thinking out loud.”

Unable to uphold the pretense any longer, she blurted out, “I’m the artist. Ask away!”

He turned to her. “You did this?”

“Yeah?”

“Wow. Of course such a beautiful piece came from such a beautiful woman.” He grinned, catching her eye.

Blood rushed to her face and she looked down. “I had some help.”

He jerked his chin towards Selena, who was on her phone. “Yes, she told me. And she did a wonderful job, I’m sure. But from what I understand, it was mostly you.”

The heat did not leave her face, but she tried to smirk. “Yeah. It was me.”

He held out a hand to shake. “My name is Theo, Theo Boateng.”

They shook, and got to talking. He had a lot of questions about her inspiration for the piece - “Did you base the feathers off of a specific bird?” “Yes, my favorite, the Glossy Starling.” “Good choice. Mine is the pennant-winged nightjar.” - but once Selena shooed them out so she could close up, they moved to other topics. She was getting a degree in aerospace, he was getting a degree in agricultural engineering. Her home was three hours away by car, his was fifteen by plane. And so on.

A walk around campus became dinner, and then dinner became dessert, and somehow they ended up at her quad and on the couch, watching a movie.

Theo was smooth.

They started on opposite ends of the couch. But he’d shift closer to ask a question, usually about an unfamiliar turn of phrase, in a low tone, as if afraid of interrupting the film. She would move closer to answer, compelled to match his energy, head leaned conspiratorially close. He’d catch her eye and smile, then look down at her mouth. Her face would burn, and her eyes would flit back to the screen.

Eventually, their shoulders brushed, and an electric shudder moved through her body. Theo cast an appraising glance at the contact, like it was a confirmation of a suspicion. That time, Talia kept her eyes firmly on the screen.

The arm moved around her shoulder. She made a conscious move to settle in closer, daring to even put her head on his own shoulder. They were about the same height, but if she scooted down slightly, it was comfortable.

He played with her hair, and she leaned into the touch. But when the final action scene came up on screen, it slowed to a stop.

She waited until the scene was just past the climax, and put her hand on his thigh, rubbing gently.

Theo looked down at her, and licked his lips.

She met his gaze and bit hers, then quickly looked down.

It all happened so fast. One second, she was sitting next to him. The next, she was suddenly laying back on the couch, legs tangled with his as he brought his lips to hers.

Their teeth clashed a little but at this point she didn’t care. She put a hand behind his head, the other pressed upon his lower back. Any space between their bodies suddenly felt too far away.

Theo’s hand crept up her shirt, and she gasped against his lips. She moved her hand lower down his back until it slipped under his pants, grabbing his ass.

They continued like this for a while, kissing and touching, Talia rocking against the taught material of her pants and the bulge in his, until Theo sat up and started unbuttoning his shirt, her hand slipping out of his pants and onto his hip by necessity.

Talia gave it a little squeeze. “Hold on. I don’t know when my roommates will be back…”

Theo’s eyes widened. “Of course! I apologize!” He stood up and started to button his shirt back up.

Talia laughed. “No! No.” She stood up and reached for one of his hands.

A little lost, he gave it to her.

She lead him to her bedroom.

His eyes brightened, and he let out a sign of relief.

Talia threw her tights into the hamper and crawled onto bed to root around in the cupboard next to it. Just when her she grabbed a condom wrapper, she felt Theo squeeze her ass. She sighed, and he started massaging her thighs and ass, hands occasionally ghosting across her pussy through the damp fabric.

She moved a little further back, condom in her hand, and moaned when he brushed against her clit.

“You’re so wet,” he said.

Talia spotted his face in the mirror, a mixture of a smirk and wonder all over.

It made her even more wet. “All for you, Theo.” Despite knowing the man for less than a day, he really did have a strange affect on her.

To that, he slipped his fingers under her panties, dipped his finger between her lips, and gently started rubbing her clit in circles. She moaned, and rocked slightly.

She heard and felt the creak of the bed as he put a knee onto the mattress. Talia felt his stiff length pressed against her ass as he moved against her, fingers still teasing her clit and now her breasts as he reached around her, over her, covering her, a heavy and hot weight that stole her breath away.

“You need this,” he whispered into her ear. “My dick inside of you, stretching out your little hole.”

She nodded, almost frantically.

“Take off your shirt,” he ordered, and sat up a little, taking his hands off of her but not stilling his hips.

They both ended up taking off all their clothes, a little too into it to extend the foreplay. She ended up on her back when she was done, her interest in the view outweighing any possible pain, and rubbed her clit while he fumbled with his belt.

The moonlight illuminated his grin when he was ready, free and hard, and she licked her lips. He was beautiful, she felt beautiful, and she wanted him inside of her.

He descended upon her lips and neck first, kissing and invading and sucking. She met him blow for blow, but only just, rolling waves of need making thinking hard.

Talia hooked a leg around his plump ass, urging him closer. His shaft started to rub deliciously across her clit, so she slipped a hand down to his dick.

It jumped at her touch, and she pumped it gently from base to tip, precum slicking her hand.

While he sucked a mind blowing spot just below her jaw, Talia started to guide his dick into her pussy, clit throbbing and condom forgotten.

Theo pulled back and laughed shakily, need filling his voice. “Talia,” he savored her name for a moment, “I don’t think you’re ready.”

Talia laughed back. “We’ll see.” She reached for him again.

He smirked. “Eager, are we?”

She smirked right back. “Are we doing this, or not?”

He sighed playfully and reached for the condom, which had ended up on the blanket by her head. He rolled it on. “Do you have anything … larger?”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Tight condoms are just as much of a problem as loose ones. That’s how I ended up with so many little sisters.”

Talia snorted. “Then why don’t you have one?”

“My wallet’s in the other room, and I haven’t checked if it expired.”

Talia snorted again, but reached for the cabinet drawer again, turning over to reach further. She felt a hand on her ass again, and she shook it a little. The hand tightened. She turned back and sat up, handing it to him.

Theo stole another kiss and rolled the condom on.

Now that she was sitting up, it did look … large. But the condom fit, so she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and opened up.

He did his best to guide himself in, but the head barely popped in, and when he tried to gently thrust a little more in, it felt like too much.

Talia gasped, pleasure and pain making it hard to articulate. “You were right. God, it’s been a while.”

She felt his smile against her neck and then a kiss. “Alright. Lay back. I know a good trick or two.”

She did as ordered, and Theo knelt down and gently took her left leg and put it on his shoulder, then the same with her other leg.

She shook. “Oh God, Theo, you don’t have to-“

But he did.

Theo’s tongue was gentle, at first. He licked delicately along the top of her wet lips, up and down, paying a little extra attention to her clit. She did her best to stay still.

But soon she was squirming as his tongue started delving between her, opening her sticky folds, swollen with arousal. Talia whimpered and grasped at the sheets.

When Theo’s tongue dipped inside her hole, she gasped and tried to squirm, but the hands on her hips held her still and against his face, moaning and smacking. She caught his eyes, which crinkled in a grin, and then he focused on her pussy again, thrusting his tongue and switching to flickering at her clit and back to her hole again. Over and over and over until waves of pleasure wracked her body and he went in and out, tongue thrusting within and lathing her lips and sucking on her clit, tracing circles with a finger when his tongue was occupied. He ate her out like a man possessed, and all she could do was rock against his face and take it.

A singular desperation overtook her body just as Theo stopped. Talia whined, but he just grinned and moved up over her body, kissing his way up until he reached her face.

She felt his erection, throbbing and hard through the condom against her leg as his lips reached her neck. She chased his mouth for a kiss, his wet face, covered with her own arousal making it all strangely hotter. Barely able to get out the words, she rocked against his body and said, “Try again. Now.”

He guided himself in as she pulled him into a deep kiss, her tongue slipping between his lips in attempt to feel him everywhere, closer, together. But she had to pull away in a gasp as the stretch tipped from pleasurable to painful. To make matters worse, her shoulders started to hurt.

But Talia was too worked up to stop. “Let me just …” she reached for the lube in her drawer, Theo’s dick slipping out once again. “Lay back.”

Theo did so.

“Good.” She pumped some into her hand, and then started fingering herself, staring into Theo’s eyes, sharing a grin as he started to touch himself too

He was thick, and dark, and her body ached to have him inside, to press her hips against his and get her lips on his neck.

When she reached the point where her pleasure was ratcheting higher and higher, she straddled Theo’s hips and settled down onto him.

He entered her slowly, inching in and out but gaining ground with each dip of her hips. Despite being in charge of the pace, Talia couldn’t help but moan a little desperately, nearly overwhelmed but unwilling to do anything other than chasing the high of having him completely inside. Her clit hit against his pubic bone repeatedly, and to her delight, she started clenching rhythmically around Theo’s thick length.

He grabbed her ass with one hand and sat up, rocking his hips to increase the intensity but still letting her drive the pace. She met his mouth with hers for a moment, but couldn’t breathe from it all, and gasped away. She pulled him against her instead, caressing his head and feeling the deliciously large muscles of his shoulders and upper back.

For a moment, amidst the sweat and pounding pleasure, she felt some sort of beating against her hands, as if something trapped was fluttering against his skin, but then her orgasm hit and she breathed out his name as she was gone, gone, gone.

When she returned to her senses, he just seemed to be loosing his.

He grabbed at her shoulders, as he mouthed at her neck, pushing her down against his dick as it thrust rapidly inside her aching pussy.

It hurt, more her shoulders than below, but the lasting pleasure left an indulgent haze over her mind, so she barely protested more than a little yelp.

Theo looked up at that, breath caught in his throat, and he looked slightly panicked, so she shook her head. So he kept on, pulling her flush against his hips.

His hands on her shoulders hurt, but in a fascinating way, like poking a bruise. Talia, in a post-orgasmic haze, wasn’t going to argue.

Finally, with a drag of his nails against her shoulder blades, she felt a pulse, and he groaned her name between babbles of gratitude. The condom caught it all, but the wetness that escaped her and dripped into their tangle of legs secretly thrilled her.

Fucking a hot stranger had not been part of her Friday plans originally, but damn! Satisfaction pushed her to kiss his cheek and neck, laughing at his glazed eyes and lips parted in desperate pants, like that hadn’t been her moments before.

When she leaned back, to look at their handiwork, an odd rustling caught her eye. Talia turned around sharply, dreading cooling her ardor. A cracked door and an accidental peeping suite mate would be a nightmare to handle.

She did not see an open door.

Instead, she saw blood. Glossy light reflecting the moon. And blue feathers everywhere.

Talia scrambled off the bed, panicking, “Wha- What did - happened? Do to me? What?” She knocked the lamp off her desk with one wing, and screeched when she saw that her nails had become like talons.

Theo sat bolt upright, and smiled. “So you are one of us!” He suddenly was much the same, talons and wings, though his were brown and orange, with a long white pennant on each wing.

She stared at him.

He continued as if everything was perfectly normal. “When I saw your painting, I thought: Surely not! But I just had to know. And then when I felt your shoulders, I knew.” He grinned, and spread out his arms and hands, also tipped by talons. “But I don’t think you did.” He prattled on, idly wondering how painful, how awful it must have been to have to keep one’s wings bound for so long.

She didn’t know what to say, sinking to the floor, wings awkwardly pooling cupping themselves around her body in the position.

This was why? After all this time, she actually got to find out why?

Theo finally saw her position, and walked over sheepishly, her clothes in his hands. He was still naked, but that didn’t seem to bother him. “Are you alright, Talia?”

She laughed shakily, elbows on her knees and hands in her hair.

He laid the articles at her feet and pulled on his own. Then, seeing she hadn’t moved, he gently helped her up, and helped her dress.

The wings briefly shimmered out of existence - Talia felt it! - as he pulled her shirt over her head. Bras were apparently unneeded. When she looked back, the wings seemed to go through her shirt, but they felt physical, and weighty.

Theo looked her in the eyes. “I’m sorry, Talia. I didn’t think, and I hurt you.”

Her eyes were hot with tears, but suddenly, she couldn’t stop smiling at the sudden lightness in her chest, and the weight on her back. She grasped his hand and kissed his lips.

“Can I show you something?”

She nodded, hand still in hand, and he lead her out the door, out to the quad, and to a parking lot that was out of the way, near a cliff, and thus never had students on the weekends. It was clear he was familiar with the route.

Her heart beat with an ambitious tempo, and when her bare feet hit the grass of the cliff, her soul started to soar as the wind rustled under her wings. It was like it knew her, and had missed her, and was ready to dance.

“Talia,” Theo turned to her, limned beautifully in the moonlight, like he was the night itself. “Let’s fly.” He started running towards the edge, and she did too, hands clenched around each other’s wrists, afraid of letting go.

As one, they leapt into the stars.

It was like she had always known how to fly. Her wings, huge and iridescent and catching every glimmer of starlight, caught her before she could descend.

Talia executed a hard pull, whooping as she reached for the heavens above.

Theo whooped back, matching her joy.

They danced and caught each other and flipped and a million other things, exhilaration like never before chasing away all exhaustion, all cold, all worries.

Tonight, the pain was gone, the sky was forever, and she was everything she was meant to be.

#bringing forth her wings

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maddysmomposts · 9 months

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08/04/23 here kitty kitty

I write as a way of venting. Usually on paper then once it’s all out it’s ripped to pieces. Idc if no one reads it - it’s therapeutic for me.

Two years ago this week, Hubs was invited to a Chicago Bears game by one of his brothers. No worries, even though I had plans because it was his first birthday since we got married. I’m used to my feelings being disregarded so no biggie.

Anyway……

I have always been terrified of covid. Life seems to have gone back to almost normal but for those of us that are severely immuno-compromised, the struggle is still very real.

Papa was going to decline the invite based on my fear alone but like a dumbass, I told him to go.

He promised three things:

1. To social distance

2. To wear his mask at all times and

3. To come straight home afterwards.

If I had known who was driving, I would have kept my mouth shut and let him decline the invite.

The game ended… one hour, two hours, five hours. No papa. Turns out, he was sitting in a bar full of cooties.

He finally showed up WITH COMPANY, and drunk. He came into the house to grab some beer and I told him to end his night. He knew that if he didn’t come home after the game, he’d have to find somewhere to stay for a couple of weeks. Not a problem if he chose to expose himself to getting sick.

I told him to ask his company to leave. He said “you do it.” And went outside. Seriously? Challenge accepted.

I went outside, didn’t even look at his company and said “end your night now, come inside.” This was an A&B conversation.

Then one of his brothers got stupid and started insulting me.

Because of my 30-years in customer service, I enjoy going off on people when I’m off the clock. It’s liberating. If dude thinks he somehow upset me, “nah bruh nothing you said got to me.”

Dude completely misunderstood my fear of covid, accused me of being “jealous of bitches.” As someone who has a mom, a wife, daughters. sisters and nieces - plus loves to walk around with a bible under his arm, I was surprised that he would use that word. It’s not in my vocabulary because I find it super disrespectful. My husband’s not a cheater. Stupid ass couldn’t be more wrong. Fear of death and jealousy are two very different things.

I hear he walked around telling people what he did, acting all smug and proud. He told me he knew every cop in town and would have me arrested. I said it then and say it again: “do it bitch, do it.”

I probably called him a bitch 100 times during his attack. It felt sooooo good!

The one thing I’m sure he hasn’t said to anyone was that at one point, he got up and came at me like he was going to hit me. This is when papa finally reacted and jumped up and got between us. WWJD, stupid ass?

He should have let him hit me. I promise he would have gone to jail that night.

Man I’ve never wished for a loser to hit me so much as I did that night.

I kept telling him to leave, to get tf off my porch and he actually told me he didn’t have to because his brother paid for this place. Lmao dude. I hold my own and then some.

I kept my mouth shut for a full year. Did I expect an apology? Nah losers like him don’t know the word.

He told me he was going to “make” papa leave me just like he made him leave his ex. He’s so full of himself, actually thinks he has that power.

I wonder if he ever looks around and notices the empty chair where papa once sat. I’m still waiting for him to fulfill his threat. I wonder if he’s realized who the real loser is? I haven’t lost anything, so there you go.

I’m not well. My dream is that one day soon, Maddy comes for me - I will bounce so quickly and won’t look back. I’m hoping that papa never forgets what his dumb loser ass brother did and that he keeps his distance. Karma is a MF and he’ll get his one day. Watch.

#here kitty kitty #loser bear down

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discoerot1ca · 11 months

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you watch him go from the label bisexual to lesbian. he comes out to his mom for the first time, and you are so proud. she is kind but says they shouldn't tell his father.

it was the holidays, december and the floor of my father’s apartment. he’d asked for a break over text before the flight. it was in those days, you know? rabbit and carmilla and skype, distance distance distance, videos of him singing to me. I can’t remember how it all went- I think break for a week and then broken up near christmas. lying on an air mattress, scrolling through break-up poetry on instagram, not knowing what else to do, not having anyone to tell. when you have your first heartbreak, I think your mom is supposed to hold you. she chalks it up to teen depression and the sad state of your father living on his own, four months in and still no more furniture than what she helped him move in with.

two weeks later and you’re tentatively back together. text text text all day, imagine he was sitting next to you in french class. he enlists a friend of yours to get you flowers for valentines day; you’ve done the same with his friend and a bear. he sings so beautifully for you, comes out to visit in april and your sister takes some of the most romantic photos of you, stolen moments when your parents aren’t looking. he makes lemon chicken, and you’ll be ordering it the rest of your life and it’ll never taste right, not like his. you tell your cousin together. you take a video, hoodies and guitar and your cat. he leaves. you move houses, tell him you’re excited for him to visit the new one. and your father lives under the same roof again, and his father is still homophobic, makes him change his hair after he cuts it the way he really wants it, even though it made him so happy for a full twelve hours. you have the pictures to compare, happy gushing boy next to disappointed styled-wrong frown.

on your birthday, you go out to lunch with your mother. eldest daughter eldest daughter, sit across the table from her as she lists off all the reasons your sister isn’t really gay. it’s been nearly three years since she came out.

you fly out to see him. june in his state is so brutal. he dresses up for you, makeup and high heels, that green dress. later you won’t remember anything from this trip. you’re so in love with him, stay up together to see the sunrise because you’re trying to stretch out that last day before you go home. he kisses you so many times as he’s getting ready, as he’s leaving for summer school. we had a lot of airport goodbyes, but that one was quiet morning hours, staying behind in his room.

sit here with me, for a moment. (I hope the world is quiet around you for this.) he has a red carpet and a keyboard with a bench. there’s a ceiling fan above his bed. if I close my eyes in a dark room at night, I can still hear the exact noise it makes. there’s a balcony. sit on his bed with me and look out over it. feel it in your body his steps down the stairs, out to the sidewalk, into the car, through the gate, turn right, past “Out of the Closet” (our favorite thrift store), highway highway highway to the school where we met. sit with me in his room on a grey morning. hide the notes between book pages, look at the puzzle you only half-finished together on the floor, run your fingers over the guitar strings, lie on your back and trace the same shapes in the air he liked to make with his fingers. grieve the absence for an hour. then she comes to pick you up and you fly home. this was the last day you’ll ever be in a room with him again.

july is an ugly cry. august is a sore throat. your mother watches beaches with you and you’re just upset after, sit in your own room, and she comes in and you can’t really explain it. she asks if this is about him and you say yes. you say you’re not friends anymore. she has that look on her face. I don’t have to describe it here. she tries to be sympathetic anyways.

it’s years of this. you don’t get to tell her. you squirrel her words away to hunch over later, throw it up in the bathroom with the cereal. your sister has to deal with it out in the open alone, and you feel bad but too afraid to not keep a hand on your mother’s skirt. when you do tell your parents, a month and a half before you’ll make your escape off to college, it’s awkward. you’ve never felt more wrong in your life. it’s obvious you are not playing the role right, this is the wrong script to be reading from, this is not the child they were supposed to have, this is not the way you were supposed to love. you went to prom with a boy to make her happy, because you knew this was coming. no one hates you and there is no shouting. there is wincing, disappointment. she asks about him. you finally tell the truth. years later she will still be dismissing it.

( - something about the way you only exist in my life now as a story to tell others. something about how I’ll be telling it again and again and again so many different ways and to no one more than myself. something about your hand taking mine for the last time and how much I lost when you let go.)

your therapist tells you that you must feel your feelings, no matter what they might be. it is August. your heart feels like an overstretched water balloon. but you can't articulate that properly, so instead you say, i don't know what i feel i just feel bad. he is out of reach, out of sight, but not out of mind. oh yes, he's been plaguing your thoughts ever since that day in the park where you almost walked hand in hand. you sat in the parking lot with slushies, almost touching knees together. those almosts are everything to you. they're a stinging reminder of what could have been.

you wake up ten months later and tell him you love him. he said i love you first. well. technically, you did when you confessed, but he said it back immediately. last night he said it first. often, he does, often as a whisper in person. he cannot see this blog. between you and i, then, he's doubtful whether he can experience love. who are you? i know who i am, i'm you from the future, aren't i?

except, one thing that we both forgot. your stubbornness. everyone tells you not to chase what you love. to let it come to you. and all the while, you collect things about love your family says, things your friends say, and bring them to your nest and shake them upside down. what is love supposed to look like? you tell the hotlines yeah, i don't really have a healthy model for that in my life but also i'm trying to create it.

if your friends were physically here, there would be a boy coming between you. childish turn of phrase, really, but the most honest phrase i can conjure up. you lie to your aunt and say that the bruises on your leg are from school, that you took a nasty spill down the concrete steps. you don't want to bother explaining the intricacies of kink to her. august to june, more imprints on your heart than there used to be. but you laugh and shrug and say, yeah, auntie, i'm done with him for real, i promise. the truth is you don't want to complain about him to her anymore. when the long text arrives, saying actually it isn't over, you resist the urge to let a smile fall off your face. you dodge your cousins' well-meaning attempts to play breakup songs for you in the car. they don't want your heart to ache.

your friend from last summer sends you a video asking to catch up sometime. he says he misses you. you miss your friend too. without their encouragement, you'd never have met M under the stars, thinking M was L. this friend is one of the few who understands what it is like to have multiple people in one body, although that stage of life is over for him. it doesn't have to be complicated unless you want it to be, though. your friend has a gentle heart beneath the tough-as-nails exterior. their dog jumps on them and covers their face in sloppy kisses.

--i don't normally ask for people's opinion on the way i love. i think it's my business. but there's something so intimate about an outside perspective, a chance for someone to love the way i love. no one can convince me that the way i love is wrong.

#i know damn well who this is about too

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stormy333 · 4 years

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A First

There’s always a first for everything, a first born, first steps, first word, first best friend, first car, first job, we could go on and on about the first’s. But I only truly want to talk about one first right now. I didn’t mention this specific one because I didn’t want assumptions made and then everything gets all tangled up and you don’t get to hear the story. That’s no fun. So here goes.

The first boyfriend (or girlfriend) they’re special to us all throughout our lives no matter the reason because they were the first. So today I am going to tell you about my first “boyfriend”. I won’t be using his name so I’ll refer to him as “JC” .

A little background is a bit necessary. I grew up in church and for most of that my parents were the ones running the church. A small country church, I’ve also been home schooled since third grade by choice, so the church was kinda my social life even though I’m low key antisocial and always have been. So we never really had many kids that came to the church that were my age and at the time I hadn’t been attending due to some unexplained health problems that we now know are due to my autonomic system being a bit of a drama queen as I like to say. That’s a bit off subject but anyways it all ties in because my best friend who was living with me at the time and still attending the services had been keeping me informed on all the tea. She told me about this family who had been there a few times with a few kids, but what really caught my attention for a moment was she mentioned that the older daughter and son looked to be around our age maybe a bit older or slightly younger. I was like “Oh, okay cool. No big dealleo.” One Wednesday I was feeling a bit better and decided to go to the bible study or whatever we had that night. To be honest this was back in 2016. So anyways again back to the story. I went and I remember sitting in the circle set up by the wood stove, sitting next to my best friend/platonic soulmate and we were being typical teenage girls talking about dumb stuff drawling in our notebooks and discussing our upcoming birthdays, stuff like that when JC and his dad walk in, they sat across from us if I remember correctly and I remember calling an emergency bathroom trip with my girl and asking if that was him and she was duh. We went back to our seats and continued on with the night. I believe it was that Sunday that we were introduced.

Now hang in there, I know it’s boring and awkward right now but trust me this next part will have you dying of laughter.

A few awkward Sunday’s and Wednesday’s later. The Wednesday before my 13th birthday the adults were having a discussion and us kids were outside playing Red Rover. Now this was my first time playing the game, plus I’m socially awkward and then to top it off I was nervous and stressed because of school and other things. And just for the record I feel terrible about this, but JC still asked me out 2 days after my 13th birthday. So back to the story AGAIN sorry guys a bit of a mess my brain is.

RED ROVER is my enemy. We were playing red rover and I believe it was JC and his sisters against me and my girl, we may have had one of his sisters on our team but i don’t really remember but I know for a fact he was on the opposite team because I remember this next bit like it was yesterday.

Red rover, red rover, send JC over? Why my darling? Why did you ask for him? No, I didn’t if that’s what you are thinking, my best friend did. And here’s the destruction that followed.

• JC runs over

• My 12 year old self panics and pulls my arm back just enough…..

• I PUNCHED JC IN THE FACE AND CLOTHES LINED HIM KNOCKING HIM TO THE GROUND CAUSING A NOSE BLEED

• Que the heart broken and terrified me starting to cry while laughing

And yet still somehow he thinks it royal to ask me to be his girlfriend 2 days after my birthday whilst we are texting, I was sitting by a lake taking in the ever so glorious nature and I remember talking a bunch of crap trying to get out of it because I was scared but also thrilled. I was charmed and extremely charmed when he wanted to talk to my Dad about it. My parents approval has always been important to me but also I don’t let it the want of it consume me but at the time I had never had a boyfriend, and it had also never really been a thing on my mind either so I went to my mom first as I was with her. Well technically I went to my Soul-sister first then my mom. Then when we got home my mother was on the phone with JC’s mom and instead of easing dad into me being asked out like we had discussed she dropped the bomb. On accident. My dad is a very special man. If you are reading this dad you know it’s true so don’t deny it. He’s the kinda guy that if he isn’t raising hell then there’s something wrong.

The next day was Sunday, April 10th, 2016, we only had one service that day because of a business meeting. The kids had the option to stay in and be bored basically (well usually I stayed because I like being educated though if you aren’t a member you can't vote, and you can’t become a member until you’re 18) or you could go to a small playground sort of area and hang out. I chose to go hang out with JC and my SS, we talked more about our favorite things and such then the meeting was over and we went inside the sanctuary. Instantly my dad starts going for it “You call it pop or soda?” (His favorite to ask guys I like I now know) The questions of silly things continue all the way over to where we were having lunch and then he gets serious for a moment and says something along the lines of if you treat her right we're all good. Then the adults continue talking and JC hands me a bracelet he made me. Blue and red with a smiley. I still have it. I honestly wish I could say this story had a happy ending like we were still best friends or still together or something like that, but that isn’t how it goes. JC and I broke up about three days before the 1 month's dating anniversary. We still kinda talked here and there but we’ve both grown up. I for one am a COMPLETELY different person from the girl I was when I met/dated JC. Though JC impacted my life in so many ways, when I think back to that time in my life I he was a very important part. Each guy I have “dated” has made an impact on me as a person. Some good and some bad, but that is life. And the bracelet JC made me is one of my most treasured possessions. To some, it may just be a dumb piece of garbage but to me, it’s the symbol of something… I don’t know nostalgic? Hopeful? Memorable? Indescribable? Something money can’t buy. And words cannot express it.

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its-inevitable-lupe · 1 year

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Girl problems WHO’S got them. Damn girls.

EVEN the girl I like at worked annoyed me of How SHE OVER DOES IT. Like pls am I ever ok? Lmao. All my o workers were doing their things and chill and the girl kept teasing and more and more and whew. Sooo much… tho I looked cute af today. Like so much. 😂 but anyways she was so much and then I went to talk to someone and she was looking and talking things to me and I’m like 🙄 and the girl was like you’re both so cute. Like chill. Everyone noticed how we both got with back and forth teasing shit. She over did it that I didn’t want people to be noticing much… and it’s because she was so muchhhhh dude so fucking much. I wanted to stab myself lol. And then she kept smiling and still lol. And I love to talk to many people and I’m always around girls and yes I am a talkative outgoing women lmao. Who would of thought 🤣 years did changed me so much. But I really talk a lot. Anyways… I was talking to my crush and helping her with something and she comes to see what we were doing and ugh ruining the moment to spend time with her and chat about personal things and family. She comes and then two others join and I’m like there we all talking then I leave cause I got annoyed at the own girl I liked lol. Then I left the crush.. then she was somewhere else and we started to watch some personal things and about her family.. her cousin that died and Christmas what she’s doing. She wants to be alone and I was telling her the first time I saw her was a year ago last month.. and my sister were her coworker and she also the crush worked with my sister which was ironic. She told me her cousin birthday was December 10 so that was also very ironic to me. But I was so ughhhhhh cause she was just ehh sad and was trying y know.. and I was like aah let’s not get to deep because I was telling her of my cousin and how you never get over it and this thick sadness my aunt Carries still. But then I was about to leave and me and my friend were killing time and the girl I like??? Liked (honestly she’s gorgeous and latina and all I would like but a bit naive age..) but she was talking and saying if I’m okay and I’m like yeah and like ehhhhh annoyed over it and o bet she noticed my tired eh look. We left and her and this other coworker was like byeeeee and I’m like yeaaah bye with a head nod I gave her. Ugh Sofia. They’re both very very attractive and great personalities. I don’t get myself… why I do this to people?? If I like them I just???????? The only way I show i like is if I get annoyed lol . And then I’m difficult. But maybe again she will come say sorry and if I took it serious like last time or vise versa like our last text message lol. Tomorrow is another day. I’ll be on my best behavior but my friend even noticed and I talk to her about it in the car lol. Anyways s gets so brave in a crowd cause when alone she gets so small cute vulnerable. But if she doesn’t say what is happening and her feelings then that is it. Because I won’t be saying anything only make her say it. And funny how she looks at me when I talk to anyone else lol. Mess. I’m never over clingy when I like you… so you might think I don’t Lmao. So my past one would think I didn’t care or loved but I just am like this. But obviously those I don’t care much And the girl I gone out with messages a lot and I haven’t replied all day. & now send audios…. Probably wondering where I am or what I’m doing.

#my thoughts

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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years

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The Conversation

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 7661 (Don’t come at me - you guys asked for it)

Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Fluff, Feelings, I Dunno What Else, This One’s Pretty Chill, Except The Ending, But You’ll See When You Get There

A/N: Here it is! I was hesitant about posting it because that means we’re getting closer to the end and I’m such a nostalgic bitch! I’m definitely gonna cry next week when the last episode comes out! Anyways, I’ve got a few things to talk about:

I think this is one of the most important chapters I’ve written and I’m excited to see your reactions to it. It is longer, but you guys asked for that, so you got it! Also, I’m loving the Asks, Comments, and Reblogs. I try to respond to all of them. I have work in a little bit, so I won’t be able to until after, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me anything; about my series, the show, any of the movies, personal stuff, I really don’t care. If you’re not comfortable, that’s totally fine! Every like means so much to me!

I know it’s not the end yet - we’ve got one more episode and a list of One Shots to get through - but there’s a definite feeling of this series coming to an end, and I just want to thank you all for the support and love you’ve been giving it! I’ve really enjoyed writing these characters and this story! It’s very, very special to me and I’m glad I’ve been able to share it with you lovely people!

On that note, be kind to yourselves and others! Thank you again for reading! Excuse any mistakes - this isn’t beta’d! Enjoy and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT! (Sorry for the gifs I just love them so much and he’s so pretty and this part is technically two parts so...you get four!)

“Louisiana.” Bucky hummed, looking around the airport.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not gonna find anything interesting about Louisiana in here, doofus. Let’s call an Uber.”

“An Ooper? What the hell is an Ooper?”

You giggled, shaking your head and grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the luggage carousel. “Uber. It’s like…a taxi service. But there’s an app on your phone to get a driver instead of waiting for one on the street.”

“Oh.” He blinked, tilting his head. “That’s…helpful.”

You laughed again, stopping in front of Carousel 3, where your flight from New York was assigned. You went back to New York to grab a bag with clean clothes and other necessities, along with taking a real shower for once. It was nice to be back in the States, as much as you loved traveling. It’d been a crazy few weeks and you were ready to just relax.

“Do you think there were any problems with Sammy’s present?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Especially considering they know who we are.”

You snickered at his slight grumble. They had had…problems at the other two airports - first the one in Sokovia then JFK in New York - considering Bucky’s entire arm was metal. It’d taken a full hour before they actually let you go, and by that time they had to give you a new plane because yours had left.

“Seriously. Who else has a fucking metal arm and has 1917 listed as their birth year on their Driver’s License?” You giggled again. That was also true. They thought he was messing with them. It wasn’t until you stepped in a few minutes after they asked Bucky to step to the side, seeing Bucky get frustrated, that they realized Bucky wasn’t pulling their legs.

“Well, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

He nodded in agreement, watching for your bags, his hand finding yours when he realized how many people there were. “Do you know where he lives? I didn’t even think about it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He invited me over once. I declined, but I saved the address.”

“He…invited you over?” Bucky frowned.

You gave him a look. “I’m sure he invited you, too. You just never checked his texts.”

He licked his lips, tilting his head. “Yeah, no, I know, but I mean…why didn’t you go? Weren’t you two just talking about how you wanted to meet his nephews the other day?”

“Yeah, but I had gotten a tip on Wanda at the time and I didn’t want to miss the chance that she was there. He told me it was fine. I still felt really bad. I could tell he was a bit disappointed. I think it was one of the boys’ birthdays. Or something. I don’t remember. Is that bad? Yeah, probably. I really should remember. Maybe I should keep track of birthdays on my calendar or something.”

“Doll.” You looked up to find him giving you a magnificent smile, teeth and all. “You’re rambling.”

“Oh. Am I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He shook his head quickly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I’m just not used to you talking so much. You kinda did on the phone sometimes.”

You shrugged, pushing down the heat crawling up your neck at his words. “I rambled a lot to Steve.”

“Oh.”

His face fell, making you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, nudging him slightly to grin at him. “It’s nice to have someone to ramble to again, though.” There was that smile again. You were stopped from saying anything more when you noticed some kids pointing and chattering excitedly at a gleaming silver box coming around the corner on the conveyor belt. “There it is.”

He looked over his shoulder, dropping your hand and stepping over to grab it, lifting it effortlessly. You didn’t know what was in it or how heavy it was, but you were sure it felt like a feather to him.

“Alright. Got our bag, sweetheart?” You lifted up the duffle in answer and he jerked his head towards the doors. “Let’s get outta here, then. Call that Booper or whatever.”

“U-B-E-R! Ub-er!” You threw your hands up, following him as he started walking towards the exit. “What’s so hard about it?!”

He just gave you a little smirk over his shoulder.

***************

Bucky kept asking the Uber driver questions about his job. The guy was super nice and patient the whole time, a thick southern accent lacing his answers. Southern hospitality was no joke and apparently had no limit as Bucky asked about his experiences, listening intently and telling him his own stories of taxi drivers in NYC.

When you got to Sam’s sister’s house, Bucky, being Bucky, tipped the driver half of what you paid for the ride, thanking him for his time and energy, before getting out.

“You’re so adorable, you know that?” You teased him as you stepped up the porch stairs and knocked on the door.

He rolled his eyes, a tint of pink dusting across his cheeks. “He was nice.”

You hummed at his defense, the smile never leaving your features. After a moment, Bucky raised his fist to knock again. “Jesus Christ! Don’t fucking knock their door down!” You grabbed his wrist and lowered it.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes.” Bucky informed you absentmindedly, tilting his head to peek in the window. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”

“They’re probably at the docks, then.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “The docks?”

You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you. “Yeah. They have a boat, remember? He talked about it last week.”

“Oh right. The one he’s trying to convince his sister not to sell.”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that way. I don’t know how far, but we can call the Uber back-”

Bucky scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother him again. We can walk.”

You gave him an incredulous look. “It’s literally his job to drive people around.”

“Well, yeah, but what if he’s got other people to drive?”

You lifted his metal knuckles to your lips. “Trust me, Buck, I’m sure he’d rather drive you than anyone else.”

“Thank you?”

Swinging your now linked hands, you gave a firm nod, letting him know it was, in fact, a compliment. “You are so very welcome.”

The walk was a lot longer than you thought it was, and you ended up on Bucky’s back after he kept complaining about how you “shouldn’t be walking this long” and you were “injured” and you “needed rest’”. You’re not sure how a shoulder wound affected your ability to walk, but you relented and let him carry you the rest of the way to stop his whining.

“You forget, you did pull your thigh.”

“That was, like, three weeks ago! Yeesh!”

You finally got to the docks, which were bustling with people. Bucky set you down and raised an eyebrow which you shrugged in reply to, before heading over to where you spotted Sam with a few other older men.

“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, pointing to a large boat engine part in the bed of a beaten up truck. Scoffing as Bucky lifted it up without breaking a sweat, you leaned against the truck. Bucky grunted and set it down, looking at Sam.

“You’re welcome.” What a punk. “Just dropping this off.” Bucky lifted the case and set it where the engine was previously, Sam coming to stand on the opposite side of the truck as you. “You can sign for it and I’ll go.” You snorted, shaking your head, making Bucky shove your shoulder - the uninjured one - playfully. “I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”

Sam looked at you curiously. You shrugged and shook your head. “Don’t look at me, Sammy. He wouldn’t tell me what it is. He’s all hushy hushy about it until you say so.”

Before Sam could reply, there was a squeak and hissing over at the boat where steam was coming from a few pipes.

“Sam!” You knew that was Sarah from pictures Sam showed you. You stayed up by the truck, pulling yourself onto the bed while Sam tried fixing the pipe, Bucky butting in to show him how to do it properly.

“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?”

You saw Bucky lift up said metallic limb. “Well…I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m-I’m right handed.” Letting out a laugh, Bucky turned around and scowled teasingly at you. “And what’re you laughing at?!”

“Nothing!”

“Well then get your ass over here!”

You rolled your eyes, hopping down from the truck as Bucky asked if Sam wanted help with the boat. You leaned against a wooden post, grinning when Sam looked at you.

“I don’t have any plans.”

Sam gave a small smile, jerking his head back. “Yeah.”

You jumped down onto the boat to follow him, looking over your shoulder and stopping with an amused eyebrow raised as Bucky introduced himself to Sarah. “I’m Bucky.”

“Ah…Sarah.”

“Sarah.” Bucky repeated her name, before walking towards you, a grin still on his lips.

“Careful, Barnes. That playboy Steve warned me about is coming out.” You nudged him with a smirk, ignoring the feeling of your stomach dropping.

He rolled his eyes, kissing your head as he passed you and Sam to go where Sam was gesturing. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re still my doll.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, falling into step besides you and lowering his voice. “Conversation?”

“Hasn’t happened.” You informed him through clenched teeth as he groaned.

Sam gave you a list of chores that needed to be done to clean up the boat, giving you a quick tour and letting you know where all the tools needed where. You set to work immediately.

Sanding down, replacing old parts, cleaning, polishing and painting over the things that didn’t need replacing. They didn’t let you do any heavy lifting because of your stupid shoulder, but you were still able to help.

Sam had turned on some music for you to listen to, so you danced around the boat while cleaning. Turning your head when you felt a pair of eyes on you, you smiled when Bucky snapped his head back down to the wood he was sanding down.

“Gonna dance, Barnes?”

He looked back over, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m good watching you.”

Rolling your eyes, you got back to work, continuing to bop to the music, fully aware that he was watching you now.

A little while later, you were repainting the edges of the boat orange, when you looked over and noticed Bucky playing around with a paint scraper…sitting right on the edge that you had just finished repainting a few minutes ago.

“Buck!”

He looked over, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back your mischievous grin. Shaking your head, you waved dismissively. “Never mind!”

He gave you a confused sort of pout, before shrugging and continuing to fidget with the tool. It wasn’t until later when he got up to help Sam tear the metal plating off the edge that it came to light with Sam chuckling and raising an eyebrow.

“Sit in something there, Barnes?”

“What?”

Bucky craned his neck back, eyes widening when he saw the orange paint on his ass, contrasting with his jeans. You let out a cackle and he whipped towards you, pointing at you accusingly, although the small uptick of his lips let you know he wasn’t really mad.

“Y/N!”

“No, no, no!” You laughed, sprinting across the deck, shrieking when he grabbed your waist and spun you around. You gasped when he grabbed a paint brush and painted an orange stripe right down the front of your shirt. “James!”

“Justice, sweetheart.” He breathed in your ear with a chuckle.

You shook your head, wiggling out of his hold. “This is a nice shirt!”

“You should’ve thought about that before.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Your eyes caught sight of Sam behind him, who raised an eyebrow and the bucket of paint he was holding. You nodded with a little giggle, making Bucky’s eyes narrow. “What’s so funny over there, do - holy shit!

You guffawed as orange paint dripped down his head, Sam standing innocently behind him with the now empty bucket behind his back. “Samuel!”

“Oops?”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“Try me old man!”

“Fuck!

“Doll!”

“Oh my God!”

Paint, orange and white since those were the only cans they had out, flew across the deck, paint brushes being used like fencing swords.

You found out too late that wet paint was a little bit slippery and you slid on a huge puddle, sending you, not onto the ground below, but over the side of the edge into the water.

“Doll!”

“Cher, you good?!”

The three of you looked at each other, stunned for a moment, before bursting into fits of laughter and you nodded. “I’m good!”

The boys helped you get back up onto the dock, Sarah appearing with towels she conjured up out of thin air. “Let’s get you into dry clothes. Do you have-?”

“We’ve got some. We got a bag.” You told her with a grin, facing the guys. “You two should clean up some, too. Sammy, you’ve got a little something right there.” You pointed to your cheek, his own having a giant white splotch from his temple to his jaw. “And Buck?” You sniggered, gesturing to the whole of him. “You’ve got a lotta something right there.”

“Ha. Ha.” He looked down. His top was practically tiger print, drenched in orange with white here and there, and his ass still orange as well. His hair, which had been plastered to his forehead, was starting to dry now, and it only made you laugh some more thinking about what a pain it’d be to get it out. For him, at least.

“God. Can’t even have a relaxing day on the boat with you two.” Sam jested once you finished up and joined him and Bucky, who had just finished dumping out some water buckets. Bucky had changed his shirt and it looked like they tried wiping their faces, but Sam still had small lines of white down his face. “How ‘bout a couple of drinks? Surely you can’t ruin that too.”

“Ruin?” You gasped in mock offence. “Sammy! I just made the day more…interesting.”

Sam chuckled, ruffling Bucky’s hair, which still had orange streaks in it. “Let’s go get some beers.”

************

You chatted for a bit, mainly you and Sam with you asking how Sarah and the boys were while Bucky with your legs in his lap, just listening to you two and sipping at his bottle. You had his hand in your own lap, wiping it down with a rag due to the paint that got on it.

“You’re lucky this is vibranium, you know.” You commented off handedly. “If it was your other one, it’d definitely get stained.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Bucky shot back with a teasing grin.

“Sammy’s.”

Sam spluttered. “Wh-what?! You started it!” You laughed, shaking your head.

Falling into a comfortable silence with just the water and birds chirping as your soundtrack, you downed the rest of your drink, which Bucky took as finished. “Well,” you moved your legs to let him stand up. He leaned forwards to clink his bottle against Sam’s and you stood up and stretched. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night.” Sam gave you a look to which you rolled your eyes at as Bucky set down his bottle and grabbed his jacket. “Crash, you know?”

“So you’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”

“Well I don’t wanna make it weird for your family.”

“Just stay here.” You laughed as Sam babbled on about how nice the people were here, grabbing the jacket Bucky handed to you. It was getting a bit chilly from the breeze on the water and the sun going down. Plus, that water was cold.

“But don’t flirt with my sister.”

You cackled at Bucky’s face, that turned serious, his head shaking. “No.”

“‘Cause if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up and feed you to the fish.”

“Can’t hold back the dog, Wilson. It’s been stuck in a kennel too long.”

Bucky turned to you, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together. “You know what? You need to shush. You’ve been snippy all day.”

You just smiled as innocently as you could with your lips being held by his metal fingers. “You’re too fun to mess with.”

He pecked your nose. “As long as I’m the only one you’re messing with. I’ll be right back.” He let you go and spun around, maneuvering around the boat in a way only a trained assassin could do.

“Oh my God, please! Please just put me out of my fucking misery! You’re killing me, cher.”

“What?” You gaped at him.

“Don’t act innocent!” Sam huffed, giving you a pointed look. “If I have to watch you two make googly eyes at you one more fucking day with neither of you doing anything about it-”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, Sammy-”

“Don’t ‘come on, Sammy’ me! And don’t come at me with that ‘he doesn’t like me back’ bullshit. If you think for a second that boy wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the fucking ocean, you’re blind as a bat, woman.”

You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of Bucky’s too big jacket. “It just…hasn’t come up.”

He deadpanned, shaking his head and standing up. “That’s it. I’m done. You two are driving me insane. I’m gonna lock you in a room until you have the conversation that needs to be had the next time either of you does something stupid.”

“Yikes. That’s gonna be quick.” At his look, your smile dropped and you nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll…I’ll bring it up later.”

“Tomorrow or nothing.”

“Sam-”

Sam tilted his head, brow creasing. “Is it still Steve? Is that what this is still about? Because he’s gone, and he’s been gone and you need to get over it-”

“No. It’s not…” You sighed. “It clicked the other day. When we were hanging out. Steve left and, yeah, I might always love him, but Bucky…God…I love Bucky, Sam.”

The man grinned proudly. “I’m glad to finally hear you admit it. So what’s the problem?”

“It’s still complicated, right? I mean…he’s his best friend and I’ve never dealt with stuff like this before and-”

Sam’s smile dropped and he groaned again. “Imma head out. I can’t take this. Dumbass and dumberass. I swear to God.” You sniggered a bit as he grumbled, walking towards the ramp to climb off the boat, just as Bucky reappeared.

“Hey-”

“Nope! Not right now, Barnes! I can’t handle it! I can’t!”

Bucky gave you a weird look. “What’d you do?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

“Well, c’mon, doll. Sarah said she’s gonna make gumbo for us, whatever that is.” He held out his hand as you walked over.

“You’re such a city boy.” You teased lightly, taking his hand and letting him help you pull you onto the dock. You shoved the sleeves of his jackets up again since they slipped from the first time. “Let’s go get some dinner. I’m starving.”

******************

“We have the couch and a mattress we can pull out, I just have to make Sam get it from the attic-”

“That’s alright. The couch is fine.” Bucky waved dismissively while you nodded in agreement.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at you two. “For both of you?”

You blinked, exchanging a look with Bucky, before shrugging and turning back to her. “Yeah.”

“Don’t fight it, Sarah.” Sam peeked out from the hall. “They’ve got a weird relationship.” You stuck your tongue out at the man while Bucky rolled his eyes, dropping your duffle bag by the couch. “How mature, Y/N.” Sam mimicked your action.

“Uhm…okay. Let me set up the couch for you then.”

Once everything was set up, you and Bucky thanking her for dinner - delicious and you’d never seen Bucky smile so much, the boys having kept him highly entertained throughout the meal - and for letting you crash, Sam and Sarah headed to their rooms, the boys already having been tucked in for the night.

“Are you gonna sleep on the floor?” You asked quietly, sitting down on the couch and doing the things for your night routine you didn’t already do in the bathroom.

“I think I’ll be okay.” He sat besides you. “I’ve been doing fine the past week or so.”

You smiled at him. “That’s good. Alright.” You stood up and stretched. “Let me just make sure everything’s in the bag and ready-”

You yelped when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest, shifting down to lay against the couch’s arm. “Do it in the morning.” He yawned, looking up at you tiredly. “I wanna go to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, his hold tightening as he sunk deeper into the couch.

“No. I fall asleep better with you.”

You rolled your eyes but grinned, settling down with your legs between his, your chin resting on his sternum so you could still look at him. He beamed, but you could see the exhaustion settling in, and he grabbed the blanket Sarah left over the back of the couch and draped it across your back, over both of your legs, before his arms crossed snugly under the covers at the small of your back.

“Dinner was nice tonight. I haven’t had a meal cooked like that in ages.” You hummed.

He nodded in agreement. “I think that’s the first time I’ve sat around a table with a family since the 40′s.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah...kinda makes me wish I had my own.”

“Your own what?”

“Family.”

You bit your lip, shyly avoiding his gaze. “You’re my family, Buck.”

A light kiss was pressed to your forehead, his fingers bringing your gaze back to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.” The room lapsed into silence again, the clock ticking on the wall, the low sound of crickets outside.

“You have really pretty eyes.” You mumbled, tilting your head slightly as you studied them. They always held so much emotion in them, especially in contrast to when you first met him as Soldat. They matched the water you fell in, and you wouldn’t mind falling over and over into them.

“Yeah, well, you’re just really pretty inside and out, so I think you’ve got me beat, doll.” He whispered back.

“You know who else is pretty? Sarah.”

He nodded with a hum. “That’s true. But I meant what I said. You’ll always be my doll.”

“So you’re not gonna ask her out?”

He gave you a weird look as you traced his sharp jawline absentmindedly. “Nah, sweetheart. It’s just…some harmless flirting. Except on Sam’s part.”

You gave a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah…he’s gonna strangle you. It is nice to see you like that, though. Flirty. Relaxed. Happy.”

“You make me happy, sweetheart.” He hummed, nosing your temple. “The road trip helped. I’m learning everything from you. Maybe not the flirting, but the carefree part.”

You blinked at him, finger stopping for a moment as you thought. “Oh…”

You felt his fingers dance up your spine, making you shiver slightly. “What I would give to know what’s goin’ on inside that pretty lil’ head’a yours, doll.”

“I just think it’s funny you’re learning how to be carefree from me…when I just started learning how to do it myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

You nodded, your finger continuing its path down his jaw. “I think it started with the goats.”

“The goats?”

You nodded again, resting your cheek on his chest, watching your finger move up from his chin. Once you got to the end of his jaw, you lightly scratched his scruff. “In Wakanda. Our goats.” You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way he physically melted at your words, his eyes going soft, his lips turning up slightly.

“Our goats, huh?”

But your tired brain wasn’t really processing what he said, instead focusing on the features your finger was now tracing - over his lips, up his nose. “You’re pretty too, Buck. Did you know that? Inside and out.”

He craned his neck to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, cuddle bug.”

Nodding, you nuzzled into his chest, finger feeling over the bumps and indents on the dog tags resting near your head. You tried going to sleep, but you kept shifting, your mind not shutting off.

“Hey, sleepyhead, I’m trying to, you know, sleep.”

“Sorry.” You apologized meekly. “I just…I dunno. I can’t.”

“Are you comfortable?” He peeked open and eye to look at you questioningly. You nodded. “Is it too hot? We can take the blanket off. I know I’m a walking furnace-”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t know why. I just can’t sleep.”

He licked his lips thoughtfully, before cradling your head and guiding you back down to his chest. “Lay down, sweetheart. Relax.” He stroked your hair, moving his head down to rub circles in your back muscles, pressing down harder when he felt knots.

You hummed, your eyes closing. “That feels good.”

“Shshsh. Just go to sleep.” His lips pressed against your head once more, lingering a bit longer than they usually do, as you felt yourself drift off. You cuddled his side, throwing a leg over his waist, before nodding off, only barely hearing his words. “Attagirl. There we are.”

******************

“Doll?” You felt a shift underneath you and groaned, your eyes barely cracking open. “Hey, sleepyhead…it’s okay. I’m just gonna slip out from under ya, alright? Gonna go help Sammy with somethin’.”

You raised an eyebrow, letting him move you against the cushions as he sat up on the edge of the couch. “Sammy?”

“Yeah.” He bent over and kissed your cheek. You stretched out your limbs, about to rub your eyes, when he stopped you, kissing the inside of your wrists. “No. Not you, doll. Go back to sleep.”

“Bu’...’m gonna help.” You slurred out, looking at him with confused, squinty eyes.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Rest. You can help when you wake up again. Okay?” You mumbled out an “okay”, bringing the covers up to your chin and snuggling deeper into the cushions. “There ya go, cuddle bug. Good girl.” There was another kiss, one to your temple this time, before you slipped back into unconsciousness.

******************

The next time you woke up was because of a clatter in the kitchen. You yawned and sat up, stretching, eyebrows furrowing when you realized Bucky wasn’t with you. It took you a moment to remember your conversation, which you half thought you dreamt.

“Boys!”

“Sorry!”

You chuckled at the shouts, rubbing your eyes. “I am so sorry!” Sarah apologized, looking over at you from the stove. Trying to make the boys breakfast before school. Do you want anything? Eggs? Cereal? Toast?”

“Uh, cereal’s fine.” You stretched out your back again, before throwing back the covers and standing up, a little shakily.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Sam went, would you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I think him and Bucky went to fix something on the boat. I don’t for sure, though.”

Sarah groaned. “He probably went to fix the stupid water pump which doens’t need fixing. Dumbass.”

You chuckled, padding over into the kitchen. “Yeah. I just work with him. I can’t imagine growing up with him.”

“Trust me; some days you want to throw him in a box and send him out to sea. Bowls are in that cupboard.”

You snickered, moving over to grab a bowl from the cupboard she pointed to. “That’s how I feel with Bucky. Sam is less often, but when those two get together…it’s a full zoo.”

She laughed at that, nodding as she got out the milk and a few boxes of cereal for you to choose from, handing you a spoon. “That I believe.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

You started pouring your cereal, watching in slight amusement as she got the boys ready for school. “Bus is here! Get out the door! Bye! Love you! Make sure you take those extra lunches to-!”

“Yeah, mom! We know! Love you too!”

You gave a slight smirk as she huffed, looking around the kitchen at the pans and dishes left out. “Kids, huh?”

She gave you a smile. “Yeah. They’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Any thoughts of kids?”

“Me?” Your eyes widened, nearly choking on your food. “Oh God no. Not right now, at least. I don’t even have a solid house right now. My life’s too off the walls for that.”

“And Bucky?”

You raised an eyebrow as she leaned on the counter. “Bucky? What about Bucky?”

“Does he want kids?”

“Uh…I dunno.” You shrugged, clearing your throat as you remembered your talk last night. “Kinda makes me wish I had my own.” You quickly pushed his words aside. “He hasn’t told me.”

“Wait, wait. You two…aren’t together then?”

You blinked, your eyes widening again. “Together? Me and Bucky? No…why? Did Sam say something?”

Her expression morphed into one of disbelief, crossing her arms. “Sam didn’t say anything. You guys did. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you aren’t together?”

“We’re not! I mean - he was flirting with you yesterday-”

“Right, okay. Honey, that’s flirting. And it’s harmless. The way he follows you like a puppy and you look at him like he hung the stars? That’s feelings. And that’s a lot more impactful than flirting.”

You frowned in contemplation. It was really that obvious? You were really that blind? This whole time? You knew Sam knew - but you just figured that’s because he’s been there since it started. And Sharon knew for the same reason. But Sarah? The woman you just met the day prior and had barely had a conversation with?

“It’s, uh…” You chewed on your cheek, swirling your cereal around. “It’s complicated.”

Sarah didn’t look impressed. “Do you like him?”

“I’m kinda in love with him-”

She shrugged, not letting you finish your bashful statement. “Then I don’t see what’s complicated about it.”

And that was that. She turned to clean up breakfast, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You thought it was more complicated than that. I mean…you were in love with your best friend. Who left you. With the guy you had feelings for who just so happened to be your best friend/crush’s best friend. And now you were completely in love with your best friend’s best friend, but your best friend still had a piece of your heart.

But…you loved Bucky. And he was here. And Steve was not. And when you put it that way…you guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.

******************

You snickered as you walked up behind Sarah, the woman berating the men for not leaving the water pump along like she asked.

“Hi, Sarah.”

Sam shot Bucky a warning look, who grinned, but you were surprised to see Sarah ignore him, sending you a knowing glance instead, before turning back to Sam. “I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are.”

“Yep, Samuel.”

You chuckled, Bucky shooting you a wink. “Yeah, Samuel.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at you, turning to Sarah. “In our defense, you were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”

You nearly facepalmed at his “defensive” and you were trying so hard to hold back laughing as she told Sam off, sending them away.

“I don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” Sam pointed at you, but that only made your chortles come out, and you didn’t even bother hiding them. “She’s a very mean person.”

“It’s tough love.”

You giggled as they started arguing, slipping an arm around their waists, their arms instinctually coming up to your shoulders.

“Oh my God. A prowess?”

“Yes, Y/N. A prowess.”

“You know, maybe if you someone let me help-”

“Hey, woah! You were tired! I let you sleep! I was being nice!”

“Too late now. I’ll be lucky if Sarah lets me within a hundred feet of it!”

“She got you so good, Sammy!”

“I agree with Buck for once! You’re too snippy right now! And c’mon man! Stop flirting with my sister!”

“It’s my natural charm.”

“Charm? What charm?”

“Ouch, doll! That one hurt!”

****************

“Okay.” You stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to the couch and setting the bag down on it. “I’ve got everything packed. We’ve got a little over an hour until we need to head out which gives you two time to go set something up for Sammy and maybe even a bit or training before we leave.”

Bucky frowned. “You’re not gonna come out?”

“I will in a bit. I just got a phone call I need to take.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Government call?”

You gave a mocking smile. “Can you guess what they want to talk about? It’s okay. I’ll survive. It’s only a phone call, so I can always hang up. Pretend I didn’t have good service. I do it all the time.”

“I’m sure you do.” Sam chuckled. “In that case, I’m gonna go grab some stuff and get the shield.” As he walked out, he made sure to mouth at you behind Bucky’s back ‘conversation’ making you swallow thickly. You were planning on talking to Bucky anyways, and with Sam’s insistence…

“Okay, so, I was thinking when we get back-”

“Can I talk to you?”

Bucky stopped digging through the bag, blinking at you in surprise at your sudden burst. “Uh…well, we already are, so yes.” He chuckled, straightening and crossing his arms.

“I wanna have the conversation.”

He was left stunned, once again, his mouth opening and closing and his weight shifting form one foot to the other. “Like…that conversation? R-right now? Are you sure?”

You winced at her nervousness. “Sorry, sorry. I know it’s kinda…I just…I need to talk about it. Now.”

“Okay, okay. No, that’s fine. Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s all.”

“Okay…” You breathed with a small nod. You opened your mouth, but Bucky shook his head.

“I hafta say this first; I didn’t mean to hurt you by telling you about Steve. I-I dunno what I thought. That it’d give you closure or something. I dunno. But it hurt you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Buck-”

“I was jealous. And guilty. And mad. And upset. I still am. Kinda. I guess. I dunno.” Bucky shook his head, running his hand through his hair and all you could do was gape at him as he started confessing to you. “Remember when we danced? In Madripoor? Doll…I don’t wanna dance ever again if it’s not with you. I fucking love you, Y/N. And not in the way we’ve said it before. I’m in love with you. I have been for-for a while now. I just - you were Steve’s. Steve loved you and you loved Steve and that was that and I was just the broken childhood best friend. But Steve left and he told me to take care of you and I didn’t know what to do with that, because you still love Steve. I think. I dunno. And I didn’t want to break what we have because you’re all I have left of him. You and that stupid shield. You’re my family. My home. I really meant it when I told you that. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. Because it means too much for me to break what we have because I fell in love with my best friend’s girl. You know?”

He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to understand, but your brain was still trying to process what he was telling you.

“Oh God…” He groaned. “And now I just told you everything and you’re looking at me like that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and now I’m thinking this wasn’t the conversation you were thinking it was going to be-”

You were moving across the room before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the teal Henley you knew was comfortable having worn it to bed before when you visited him in New York, and slanting your lips over his.

His breathing hitched and he froze, and for a hot second you thought you made everything worse, but then he was kissing you back and his hands were on your hips and he was pulling you closer and it felt so fucking good you didn’t want to pull back for air.

“Shut up.” You muttered when you finally did pull back, your forehead against his, your eyes clenched shut. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.” You pulled back to look up at him, chests heaving against each other, your eyes prickling. “I’m not good at this. I’m not good at opening up. I only ever was good at it with Steve but Bucky…I’ve been doing it with you. This whole time and I didn’t even realize it until the conversation in the car.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the relieved tears that were falling from the weight you were finally getting off your chest.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be? After all that time in Wakanda? I was never Steve’s girl, Bucky. I wanted to be. Dammit, did I wanna be, but I wasn’t. Not really. And he’s gone. But you’re not. And I don’t know why it took me so long to see that. That you’re the one in front of me. You’re the one who held me when I needed it once he left. You’re the one that would listen to my rambles that I’m just realizing was most of our phone calls. You’re not just the broken childhood friend. Don’t ever think that. I don’t pick up the phone at five in the morning after searching for a friend until two for just anyone. Even Steve’s best friend. And I’m such an idiot because I’ve been pushing away my feelings all these years for Steve and then I let them out with you at the wrong time, because I love Steve, Bucky, but I’m not in love with him. Not since I fell in love with you. And I know it doesn’t make sense, but Steve was the first one I cared about and that’s just how I feel and I can try to explain, but-”

His lips crashed onto yours again and you could taste the salty tears that were pouring down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. He was holding you and he was kissing you and it was even more perfect than you thought it’d be.

“You’re adorable when you ramble, but Jesus Christ, shuddup, doll.” He breathed. “Just tell me you love me. Tell me you love me just a fraction of how much I love you.”

You looked up into those ocean eyes, your own shining with earnest affection. “James Buchanan Barnes. I love you.”

“That’s all I need to know.” He murmured against your lips, holding your head against his, still wiping away your tears. It felt like with each one that fell, you felt lighter and lighter. Like they were taking away every fear and anxiety you held within you for the past six months.

“Alright! I was thinking we could just set up in these trees out here - holy shit! Is it done? Did you do it? Did I miss it? Has the conversation been had?”

Bucky chuckled as you giggled. “He has the worst timing.” The last two words were loud enough so Sam could hear, although the man heard the whole sentence.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes!” Sam cheered. “Halle-fucking-lujah! Finally! I was that close to locking you two in the attic.”

You shook your head at Sam’s personal celebration, drowning the rest of his words out as you looked at Bucky, who swept his thumb over your cheek catching one last tear, before pecking your lips.

“I finally get to kiss where I really want to.” He spoke softly, kissing your lips again. “Are you mine, doll?”

“I thought you said I’d always be your doll.” You answered cheekily. He grinned, kissing you again, pulling you against him by the hips.

“Okay, okay! That’s enough! We get it! You’re in love, finally, but I don’t wanna see it anymore! Now will you come help me with this shit?”

Bucky left one more lingering kiss on your lips, before you pushed him away reluctantly. “I’ll be right out.”

He nodded, moving over to help Sam carry the things he’d gathered.

You watched them put it all up from the window, gnawing on your cheek as you spun your phone in your hands. Coming to a decision, you tossed your phone in the duffle bag and walked out with it just as the boys finished.

“That was a quick phone call.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged. “Didn’t call them. If they really need me, they’ll find me.”

Bucky grinned as you set the bag down under a tree, pecking your lips when you got close enough for him to grab by the waist to hold you against him. You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully away and giggling as Sam let out a groan.

“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got, Sammy.”

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Bucky knew he needed the tough love talk Sam was giving him. He needed to hear it. Because, deep down, he had known it all along, he just refused to believe it. He tried doing it. Making amends. He knew he wasn’t though. And of course he knew immediately who that one person would be.

“And hey.” Bucky looked at him. “Let me tell you what. Telling my girl all that you told her? That’s a good start. I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’re already happier. I can see it in your eyes.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he thought of the gorgeous woman he nearly let slip through his fingers. He looked over to the house, where she was inside somewhere getting ready after suddenly deciding she needed to shower before they left. “I was stupid.”

“Yeah you were. You both were. I’m so relieved it’s over.” Sam nudged him. “Treat her right, Buck. She deserves it.”

“I know…I just hope I can.”

Sam shook his head. “Uh-uh. Don’t do that. You were just starting to use that cyborg brain of yours! She chose you. And before you say anything,” Sam cut Bucky off from speaking as he opened his mouth to object. “She chose you before Steve left. It just took her dumbass this long to realize it.”

Bucky nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay…” Before he could say anything, the goddess herself stepped out, jogging over, looking absolutely amazing in her jeans and his t-shirt. “Good talk.”

Sam laughed at his quick ending of the conversation as she came up besides them. “Talking about me?” She asked cheekily, eyes shining. Bucky couldn’t help but take her under his arm, pecking her lips. Now that he could, he didn’t think he could stop. He was addicted to say the least.

Throwing Bucky a wink, Sam shrugged. “Just all the things that get on our nerves.”

“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes. “We better get going.”

Bucky and Sam clapped hands. “You know Karli won’t quit.”

Bucky smiled. “Ah. You call us when you have a lead and we’ll be there.”

Y/N stepped forwards to give Sam a hug. “Anytime, Sammy.”

“Eh. Anytime between noon and midnight.” Bucky corrected. “Or noon and ten. Noon and five…you better just call at noon to be safe.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure.”

“Not necessarily as a team.” Bucky continued, grabbing the bag, getting Y/N back in her spot at his side under his arm.

“Nope!”

“We’re not that good.”

“Definitely not.”

“We’re professionals.”

“Definitely.”

“And, uh, we’re partners.”

Sam snapped, pointing at him. “Coworkers.”

“But we’re also a couple of guys with a couple mutual friends.”

“Ones now gone and you’re dating the other.”

“So we’re a couple of guys…with a badass to help out.”

“I can live with that.”

“Perfect.”

“Oh my God.” Y/N let out that laugh Bucky could never get enough of, shaking her head at the two of them. “You forgot dumbasses.”

Sam shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s your couple name.”

“Dumbasses?”

“Oh yeah.” The three of them came to a stop, Bucky and his girl - God he loved confirming it now - facing Sam. “Thanks for the help, guys. Meant a lot.”

Bucky patted his shoulder. “Of course.”

Y/N shot him a wink. “Until we meet again, Sammy.”

“Until then, cher.”

Bucky couldn’t stop his grin as she wrapped her arms around his waist, the two of them starting to walk to the main road where she already ordered an Uber. He looked down at her, kissing her lips for the nth time in the past hour.

“I wish I didn’t wait so long,” he told her seriously. “But I’d wait a thousands more centuries if it meant I get to call you mine.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re such a sap! But…” she moved up to kiss him and his heart stuttered. He knew he had a goofy grin on when she pulled back, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when she laughed again. “I have to agree with you on that, Buckaroo.”

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

THE DEAL

a/n: i literally wrote it in less than a day because i was inspired by a movie... of god, i have issues, but ANYWAYS! this one is a classic friends with benefits to lovers story with so much angst and a grandiose love confession at the end so buckle up, you are in for a treat!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE give feedback if you enjoyed it!!

pairing: Harry X Reader

warnings: some, drinking, sexual content, a hell lot of it, angst and messy emotions, it’s a lot!!

word count: 11.8k

masterlist

If your life was some romantic comedy his would be the moment where the camera would zoom on you, your eyes blankly glued to the ceiling, makeup from last night smudged under them as a muscular, inked arm gets thrown across your chest, a snoozing man beside you as you have the internal little monologue.

“You’re wondering how I got into this situation, right? Completely naked with one of my best friends after a night spent with heavy drinking and ending up fucking in his apartment until we both fell asleep.”

Yeah, this is probably what the voiceover would say as the camera would slowly get farther from you, Harry’s sleeping figure coming into the frame while you’re still lying like a damn statue. This was not supposed to happen. Not that it was bad, because oh God! Harry really is as good as his ex-girlfriends gushed to you when you met them on night outs. You could never blame the women for falling for him, he has the charm, the personality, the humor and definitely the looks. If you weren’t you, you’d be one of those girls who would do anything to get his attention just for a split second. But you’re not.

Growing up with a single mother that was repeatedly fucked over by several men, you were taught to be the kind of independent woman who needs no man. Who only uses them for whatever reason and throws them away before they could even realize what’s happening. Feelings could never be involved in the equations, those are just not for you.

For a while you thought you weren’t even capable of feeling anything at all. But the way you cried when your hamster you got for your sixteenth birthday died changed your mind and you realized that you are just saving yourself the time of allowing people to make you develop feelings for them and then give them the chance to break your heart. You’ve seen that happen to your mother enough times to know that you don’t want to go through that. It’s not worth it and why would you risk it all when you could easily get what you need and move on to the next one?

Your friends always joked how you’re gonna be the single aunt to their children later who would take them to clubs and honestly? You’re just fine with that. Because you always thought that while your married friends will be busy with keeping their marriage together with whatever pathetic man they chose to marry, you’ll be living your best life without a worry on the world. That sounds pretty good for you.

There’s no need to make it prettier than what it is, you’ve had a lot of hookups the past years but you always tried to keep yourself in check, have some kind of rules to follow so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. One of those were that under no circumstances would you ever sleep with a friend. No matter how badly you want to, no matter if they are begging, it can never happen.

But you broke that rule.

Turning your head to the side you look at Harry’s sleeping face squished into the pillow and you almost wince, because you know that when he wakes up, this gonna hurt like a bitch. He’s gonna freak out, or what’s worse, he’ll want to take it further, take you out on a date… be in a relationship with you! And you’ll have to break his heart because none of those will ever happen.

You and Harry went to high school together and he is one of the very few people you stayed in touch after graduation. Though you grew a little apart when you went to different universities, later on you both somehow ended up in New York and while you’re working as a graphic designer at a magazine, Harry is making good money from writing music for other artists. He’s been one of your closest friends these past years and while you’ve always found him attractive, you should have never let this happen, because it will mess everything up and you didn’t want to lose such a good friend.

Harry stirs in his sleep next to you, his hand squeezing your side before his eyes blink open, green irises finding your wide eyes. He stops for a moment, looking around, taking in his surroundings before his eyes fall closed again.

“Wow, must have been one wild night?” he mumbles into the pillow before a raspy chuckle falls from his lips.

Last night, the two of you and a couple of your mutual friends celebrated that Harry has gotten his biggest deal so far, having to write an entire album for an up-and-coming artist, so you all got pretty wasted, especially you and him. It’s a little blurry how the two of you ended up like this, but you do remember wildly making out hidden somewhere behind the bar before he asked if you wanted to come to his place. You stupid little thing, should have said no…

Groaning, Harry rolls to his back, his arm falling from you as he lies sprawled out next to you.

“The tequila shots. Shouldn’t have had them,” you rasp out, a smirk tugging on his lips at your words. “So, um… we both can agree this was a one time thing, right?”

Harry peeks at you, pushing himself up a bit so his head rests against the headboard. The sheets slide down a bit lower on his body, revealing his toned chest and his several tattoos. Memories of you kissing them eagerly last night flash into your mind and you can only hope you’re not blushing like a school girl.

“What if I don’t agree?” Harry cocks an eyebrow and you almost groan. You knew this was going to happen!

“Harry, I’m not going out with you. You know me, I don’t do that. It’s nice that you think that it could work between us, but I don’t do relationships and I’m not changing my rules, not even for you.”

Harry starts laughing, as if you just said the best joke of the century, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. You give him a puzzled look as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest.

“Who talked about dating, Y/N?” he then asks. “You said last night was a one time thing. We fucked last night. What if that wasn’t the only time we did that?”

You start to put the pieces together, though you’d definitely be sharper if you already had your first coffee of the day.

“Are you trying to start a… friends with benefits thing with me?”

“I mean, you could call it whatever you want. I personally really enjoyed last night and judging from the way you were screaming my name, you did too.” Now you’re for sure blushing. “Why not do it again?”

“This is not a movie, H. I don’t think it’s manageable without ruining our friendship.”

“Have you ever tried something like this?” You shake your head no. “Then how could you know?”

“Have you tried it?”

“Never,” he chuckles. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. We are both cool, smart people. I think we can give it a try and whenever someone is feeling like they had enough, we’re just gonna stop.”

“What if you catch feelings?” you ask, raising eyebrows at him.

“Oh, but what if you fall for me?” he throws the question back with a cocky smirk and you smack his naked chest.

“You know I never do that!”

“I don’t think you can just decide that, but alright,” he chuckles, holding his hands up in defense. “I promise you I won’t catch feelings for you, Y/N. I swear on my…”

“Your mom’s and sister’s life!” you point at him. It’s clear that he thinks it’s silly, but you just keep staring at him until he gives in.

“I swear on my mum’s and my sister’s life that I will not catch feelings for you, Y/N.”

“Alright. And we can end it anytime?”

“Whenever you’ve had enough of me,” he smirks back, so pleased with himself that it’s clear he doesn’t think that could ever happen.

“If you keep that cocky look on your face it’s gonna be a very short deal, Styles,” you warn him, but he just laughs before he quickly pulls you back down to bed, getting on top of you, his hips sinking between your legs and you gasp when you feel that he is already semi-hard.

“Why don’t we get a head start on it then?” he offers, his lips crashing against yours before they travel down your body and soon enough he gives you something that’s a thousand times better than a coffee in the morning.

At first you’re clearly hesitant about it. Not sure if it was a good idea or you just ruined everything between you and Harry, but soon enough you realize that it wasn’t as bad of a decision as you thought it to be.

Harry is the one to call you for the first time, two days after the night you drunkenly hooked up. You’re just leaving the office when he hits you up, asking if you have plans for the night or you’re free to go over to his place. An hour later you find yourself pressed up against the wall of his apartment’s hallway, both of you eager to get each other out of your clothes. Now that it all happens without either of you being drunk, you actually have the chance to think about how good it is with him. He is just the perfect mixture of dominant and soft, knows when to be the boss and when he has to slow down a bit.

He makes you cum three times. Three mind-blowing times, and you also give him two orgasms. You try to make it equal and make it three, but he respectfully says no.

“If you touched my dick again I think I would start crying,” he chuckles jokingly, so you don’t even think about pushing it.

Instead, the two of you order Chinese, have dinner together, talking like you always used to before the deal and then you go home. There’s no awkwardness, no weird situations, not even when you leave. Harry leans closer and for a moment you think he is gonna be corny and kiss you goodbye, but then you feel him smack your ass before pushing you out the door, just like he always did before, joking about how he is gonna charge you rent if you stay any longer.

Nothing has changed, only that you now spend a good chunk of your time together naked, moaning each other’s name before you get back to your usual.

So after that you don’t shy away from reaching out to Harry as well. It becomes a regular thing, the two of you meeting up about two of three times a week. You fuck, hang out a bit and go your separate ways. Slowly, you start to forget about times when you stayed dressed up for more than ten minutes after meeting Harry.

You keep switching between your and his place, but sometimes meet somewhere in the middle. You’ve had sex in a restaurant bathroom, in his car in a parking garage and even in his cousin’s place in Brooklyn. That was a bit odd but still quite pleasing.

Tonight is going to be the first time you’re gonna be out with all your friends and Harry since the deal was made. No one knows about it and you intend to keep it that way.

Once you’re done at work you head home, texting Leticia, another friend from high school to meet you at your place to get ready together. She was Harry’s friend at first, what’s better, she openly hated you at first for some reason.

“You just had a punchable face at fifteen, you can’t blame me,” she used to tell you. It was actually Harry who made the two of you friends and you’ve been close ever since.

You get to your apartment almost at the same time. Leticia starts rambling about her asshole of a boss at the law firm where she works at as you open a bottle of wine to start the evening while you roam through your wardrobe for an outfit.

“Is Leo coming? I owe him a few bucks from last time,” Leticia wonders, digging into your dresser for a pair of tights she can borrow to pair with her leather skirt.

“I think he is, but he is going to be late. He is coming from Staten Island from his dad’s,” you muse, checking yourself out in the red dress you just tried on, not quite pleased with the look, so you quickly work down the zipper and look for something else.

“Um, whose is this?”

Turning around you see that Leticia is holding up a shirt Harry left at yours a few days ago. She is clearly confused about the men’s clothing between your stuff, because you are not one to steal them from the men you sleep with since you don’t really want anything from them to remind you of them.

“Oh, um, that’s… That’s Harry’s. He left it here a few days ago,” you shrug, not making a big deal out of it, but Leticia is nosier than that.

“And why is Harry leaving his clothes around your place?”

“Is that a crime?” you snort, trying to play it cool.

“No, but in what kind of situation did this shirt come off of Harry and end up in your dresser?”

You can’t think of a good answer that would stop her from interrogating you, and the way you’ve just gotten silent is telling her more than words could. She drops the shirt, eyes widening at you and it’s clear that she put two and two together.

“Oh my God! You’re sleeping with Harry!”

“No! I’m… I just—We…”

“You two are totally fucking! What the fuck!” she gasps in complete shock as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Let me explain it, alright? W-We hooked up on the night when we went out to celebrate his big album deal.”

“When I couldn’t go, right?”

“Yeah. So we were both very drunk and it just happened. And I really thought it would ruin everything but we somehow ended up making a deal.”

“Jesus, you guys are acting out the Friends With Benefits movie? Who are you, Mila fucking Kunis?”

“It’s not like that!” you defend yourself quickly, but then you realize that it’s just like that so far. “Well, it kind of is, but the ending won’t be like that.”

“Do you really think you can just do it with absolutely no strings?” Leticia sighs, her hands coming to her hips as she stares back at you.

“It’s been going great, so I really think it’s doable. And if any of us decides they had enough, we’ll just call it quits.”

“Yeah, because it’s that easy,” she rolls her eyes. “One of you will catch feelings and someone is gonna end up crying, Y/N.”

“No, that’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head stubbornly. “He promised it won’t happen.”

“Feelings don’t give a shit about promises! I hope you really know what you’re doing, because I don’t want to have to choose between the two of you,” she grumbles before throwing Harry’s shirt back into the drawer, grabbing the tights she’s been looking for.

Leticia doesn’t hold a grudge for the news she just found out, but she surely has gotten you thinking. Is it really gonna end bad? Why can’t there be a scenario where it goes perfectly fine and no one gets hurt? Harry promised it’s gonna be alright and he has been proven right so far, so why are you having second guesses now?

Arriving at the bar the majority of your friend group is already there, including Harry. You sit across him in the small booth, just exchanging a quick smile before the first round arrives and the evening starts. You allow yourself to take a better look at him while he listens to Mitch’s story and you can’t say that you don’t find him hot. He is wearing a vintage, floral printed shirt, the first few buttons left undone, so you have a nice view of his chest and his necklace you’ve felt under your lips so many times before when you were kissing down his body. He keeps twisting and playing with his several rings and it makes you stare at his hands for a tad bit longer than you intended to. God, he looks so damn good, you really just want to fuck him here and now.

You keep changing who goes up to the bar to order and the third round is yours, so sliding out of the booth you go to the bar and wait for your turn. A young, handsome guy is making the drinks and you clearly catch his eyes.

“And what can I get for you, beautiful?” he smirks at you when it’s finally your turn.

“Two vodka sodas, a martini and three vodka cranberries,” you smile back at him with a hint of flirting in your tone.

It’s kind of second nature to you, a few charming smiles and winks have gotten a lot of free things for you in your life and you never miss a chance to use your advances.

“All that for one pretty girl?” he teases you.

“I would be all over the floor if I drank all of it,” you chuckle, pulling your card out of your wallet, tapping it on the terminal as he finishes up the drinks, kindly putting them on a tray so you can easily bring them over to the booth.

“Don’t worry, I would surely pick you up then,” he winks at you, placing the last drink to the tray before you thank him and head back.

As you take your previous seat you notice that Harry is watching you intently.

“What?” you mouth him over the conversation at the table.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, turning his gaze away, grabbing his drink and focusing back on everyone else.

You go up to the bar two more times, once to ask for some chips and once for some napkins after a drink has gotten spilt onto the table. Every time you exchange a few words with the bartender and you have to admit, he has a great sense of humor paired with his looks.

Sometime later in the evening you decide to switch to water, so you go up to the bar a fourth time, the bartender coming to you right away at this point. As you wait for him to grab you your drink you feel a hand on your lower back. Turning to the side you see Harry standing next to you.

“Hey, want to come to my place after this?” he asks, leaning closer to your ear. His hot breath hits your exposed skin on your neck and a shudder runs down your spine, especially with his hand still on the small of your back.

“You want a rerun of your first time?” you smirk back at him, referring to the drinks you both have had, though it’s definitely not as wild as that night was.

“No, but this dress is making it hard not to want to rip it off,” he bluntly tells you as you glance down at yourself. At last you decided to wear a black bodycon dress that surely shows every dip and curve of your body and apparently Harry has been enjoying the show.

The bartender arrives with your water, his eyes falling on Harry and you see that he is a little taken aback by his presence.

“Hey man, can you get me another one as well? I’ll pay for both,” Harry nods at him and there’s something foreign in his tone that you can’t really put your finger on. The bartender just nods back and goes to grab another water.

“What if I wasn’t in the mood?” you tease him, continuing the discussion where you left it a moment ago.

“Oh, please!” he chuckles smugly. “I saw you eyeing me from across the table, Y/N. I know you are definitely in the mood.”

He is right. So damn right. You’ve been crossing your legs under the table for a while now, feeling your arousal growing every time you saw him run his tongue over his lips or whenever his finger played with the lip of his glass, imagining him doing the same with your body.

Biting into your bottom lip you need to take a deep breath, but when Harry sees your teeth digging into your lip, he loses his patience.

“Or we can just do it now,” he growls lowly, grabbing your hand before he starts pulling you towards the restrooms. You don’t even have the chance to protest, not that you want to.

He is quick to pull you into an empty restroom, locking the door behind the two of you before his lips attack yours, pushing you against the door with vigor and hunger. His hands are already bunching your dress up around your waist and you moan his name when your hips meet and you feel his hard length through his jeans.

“We have to be quick, so no one notices we disappeared,” he pants as he helps you up to the counter, your back hitting the cold mirror behind you.

“Then shut up and just fuck me,” you challenge him and it makes him absolutely feral.

You don’t have time to enjoy it the way you usually do in bed, but the excitement of the situation alone has gotten you so wet that you’re already dripping when he pushes your panties to the side with one hand while his other works on his own pants.

“Fuck, already so wet for me, huh?” he breathes out, his lips brushing against yours before they kiss you fully.

“Just like how you’re rock hard for me,” you grin against his lips, a hand wandering down to his cock as you pull it out of his boxers, stroking it a few times before he pulls a condom out of his back pocket and wraps himself up. “Were you counting on this quickie, Styles?” you ask when you realize that he just had a condom ready on him.

“I knew for sure I’m gonna fuck you tonight, but wasn’t sure how long I’m gonna last,” he grins, capturing your lips again before he pushes himself inside you with no warning, making you both gasp.

“Fuck! Harry!” you moan as he starts moving rapidly, definitely not taking his time like he usually does. He is pounding into you without mercy, panting against your lips as his ring clad fingers are digging into the flesh of your thighs.

“You like that? Like it when I fuck you somewhere public?” he growls, making your legs curl around his hips.

Your hands move up his chest and neck, fingers tangling into his curls and you give them a tug, earning an animalistic grunt from him as he starts going even harder and faster. You’re rapidly getting closer to your orgasm.

“You close?” he pants and you nod. “Come on, cum all over my cock, Y/N.”

A few more thrusts and your walls tighten around his dick, squeezing him as you gasp, riding your high, your head falling backwards, meeting with the mirror behind you. Harry follows you a few pushes later, moaning your name repeatedly before his movements come to a halt and you both take a moment to catch your breath.

When he pulls out you both just quietly clean yourselves up, fixing your clothes and hair so you don’t entirely scream sex with your appearances.

“My offer to come to mine after still stands,” he smirks, running a hand through his hair before you head out.

“Tempting, but I have some work to do in the morning, so no,” you turn him down, stepping out to the dark hallway that leads back to the bar. Harry grabs your hand and pulls you back, his lips smashing against yours, surprising you with his move. He kisses you deeply, sucking on your bottom lip hard before he pulls back.

“What was that for?” you ask out of breath.

“If you’re not coming over, I needed something to have a good night,” he shrugs with a smug smirk before you return to the bar.

You catch the bartender’s look as you finally get your waters and Harry pays for them. You catch the two men eyeing each other for a moment before you and Harry return to the table and you forget about the whole thing.

A Sunday afternoon you’re lounging at Harry’s. You jumped at each other’s bones when you arrived, but now you’re chilling on his couch, watching a series you both wanted to start so you decided to give it a go together. Your leg is lying across Harry’s lap, his hands absentmindedly kneading your thighs. It feels nice, like a massage, especially after how sore he made you earlier, stretching you out more than he usually does with a new pose you tried out.

Your phone chimes next to you and tearing your gaze away from the TV you check to see who just sent you a text. It was one of your coworkers, Anthony, he sent you a raging text about how he still has no idea what to wear to the company party that’s gonna be next Saturday and you realize that you totally forgot about it.

“Shit!” you curse under your breath.

“What?” Harry asks, pausing the show.

“I have this stupid work party next weekend and I totally forgot about it,” you growl, checking your calendar quickly if you can squeeze in a quick shopping spree before Saturday or you’ll have to find something in your closet.

“Aren’t those things nice with a lot of free food and drinks?” Harry wonders.

“Yeah, but I don’t like it, because all my colleagues bring their partners and I’m usually the only single one and they keep trying to set me up with someone,” you roll your eyes even at the thought of having to suffer through another one of those awkward conversations about your love life. Like it’s any of their concern!

“I can go with you if that helps,” he offers and you give him a look over your phone. “What? I’m sure if you brought someone they wouldn’t bug you.”

“But we are not together,” you remind him narrowing your eyes at him.

“They don’t have to know that. It’s a win-win, Y/N. Your colleagues would stop nagging you and I can eat and drink for free,” he smirks, clearly pleased with his little plan.

“I mean… you’re not wrong,” you sigh.

“See? Then it’s settled,” he pats your legs, smirking widely at you, but you’re still not entirely convinced. “Come on, Y/N. It’s gonna be fun!”

“This is so cliché, Harry!” you groan, your head falling back against the arm of the couch. “Pretending to be a couple? Straight out of a damn movie.”

Harry lifts your legs up so he can get out from under them, placing them back to the cushion before he climbs over to you, half of his body pressing onto yours as he squints his eyes at you.

“We can fuck in the bathroom, if you want,” he bluntly offers and you just start laughing at his dirty mind and technique of convincing you. “What? There’s literally no better offer out there. Free food, free drinks and free sex. Really good sex, if I may add,” he points out and you smack his chest lightly.

“Didn’t know you were thinking about charging me for the sex,” you joke.

“Might as well do, baby. Especially if it’s the best you can get,” he smugly huffs and you’d retort something funny, but you get caught up on the name.

“Baby? Since when are you calling me baby?”

“Since we are gonna be a couple next week. Gotta rehearse, baby,” he repeats the nickname and a foreign feeling bubbles in the pit of your stomach. Why is this one little word making you feel things you haven’t before? “And you know what else we can rehearse?” he continues, oblivious to your inner dialogue.

You don’t get to answer upon feeling his hand slide between your legs, fingers gently pressing onto your clothed clit and though you can’t stop a moan from slipping through your lips, you still grab his wrist and pull him away.

“My legs are too sore, I wouldn’t enjoy another round of you pounding into me,” you tell him and you can see the proud glimmer in his eyes that he was the one who got you into this state, though he luckily doesn’t comment on it.

“It doesn’t have to be pounding, then,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses you, taking his time as his hand frees itself from your grip and slides under your shorts and panties, fingers meeting your already throbbing bud.

He repositions himself so one of his thighs are between your legs, his lips never leaving yours as his fingers start drawing circles on your clit, sending pleasure down your body in waves.

“Fuck,” you breathe out against his lips when two of his fingers tease your entrance before pushing all the way inside, curling them between your clenching, wet walls.

“No, we are not fucking right now,” he smirks, never missing a chance to joke around and you want to retort to his comment, but words get caught in your throat when his thumb starts playing with your clit, fingers sliding in and out of you in a steady rhythm.

“So, are we on for Saturday? It’s gonna be fun, hm?”

The little shit is using his fingers to convince you and he has the audacity to ask you questions when you are about to see stars. Sometimes you really do hate how big of a smug fucker Harry is, but it’s hard to feel hatred for him when he is about to make you cum again.

“I-I don’t… Harry!” you gasp when he abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, right when you were so close. “I was about to fucking cum!” you growl, raging eyes meeting his green irises.

“I know,” he chuckles. “Say that you’re in and I’ll make you cum.”

“You motherfu—“

You don’t get to finish, his lips smashing against yours as his fingers return, moving faster than before, quickly pushing you towards the edge again.

“Say it. Say it, Y/N,” he mumbles against your lips as your chest is heaving and you start buckling your hips to meet his movements.

“Fuck… Okay! I’m in, just please make me cum!” you whine, hands gripping his shoulders like your life depends on it.

“Good girl,” he smirks and finishes you off without any more teasing.

You cry out his name, fingers digging into his muscles as you push your thighs together, trapping his hand between them while he keeps fingering you oh so perfectly. He makes sure you ride out the last waves of your orgasm before he pulls his fingers out and without batting an eye, he just licks them and fixes your panties and shorts before returning to his previous position with your legs across his lap, starting the show like nothing really happened.

Saturday morning you’re able to quickly get your nails done and Leticia comes with you, the two of you having brunch together afterwards. You go to a new place near the nail salon and as the waiter arrives with your orders, you notice that he slides a napkin onto the table with a small smile.

Grabbing it you see a phone number scribbled onto it. Normally, you send back a smile and tug the napkin into your purse, but this time you just leave it on the table and decide to ignore it.

“What the hell is up with you?” Leticia asks and glancing up at her you see her gesturing towards the napkin. “You don’t seem too thrilled about the approach which is very unlike you.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just… not interested,” you shrug, reaching for your fork.

“Not interested? The dude looks like the lovechild of Chris Hemsworth and Johnny Depp. He is exactly your type, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just not seeking another hookup right now, that’s it.”

“Oh my God!” Leticia gasps and you give her a puzzled look.

“What?”

“You don’t want other men because of Harry!”

“What? That’s crazy,” you laugh, because she has clearly left her mind at the salon for even thinking that.

“Have you hooked up with anyone else than Harry since you’ve made your little deal?”

“I, uhh… Flirted with the bartender when we were out together.”

“Flirting doesn’t count, not even in relationships.”

“I don’t think many would agree with that, Tish,” you huff.

“Okay, but did you have any interest in fucking someone else?”

“I don’t get it why you are making a big deal out of it. Why would I seek anyone else if I’m perfectly pleased by him?”

“Honey, that’s like… how relationships work.”

“That’s not true,” you shake your head, though what would you know about relationships? Your first and only one was when you were seventeen and it lasted twenty-one pathetic days.

“Are you fucking with anyone else?” She asks, eyebrows raised at you as you shake your head no. “Are you fucking him?”

“Obviously,” you scoff.

“Do you spend time together that doesn’t include sex?”

You are almost quick to say no, but then you realize that would be a big ass lie. Every time he comes over to your place or you’re at his, it’s never just the sex. That’s always primary, but not everything you do. All the dinners, the movies and shows you’ve watched together, when you sit on your tiny balcony with a bottle of wine, talking and laughing like you always did before the deal, something always happens after the sex.

Your silence once again answers Leticia’s question. Reaching over the table she takes your hand in hers, giving it a soft squeeze.

“Girl, you are totally dating Harry.”

Leticia once again manages to put a flea in your ear about this whole Harry thing. You wish she didn’t say a thing, because now you can’t think of anything else than the fact that you really are doing all the things with Harry that people who are dating do.

You get so riled up that you almost cancel on the evening, but you’d hate to have to sit through the evening with your colleagues alone when you said you’d be bringing someone. That would make their usual nagging a hundred times worse. So instead, you suck it up and decide to ignore the issue just for the time being and you get ready.

You were able to find a new dress beforehand, the yellow dress is truly a sight to the sore eyes with the corset-like top and very subtle lace details here and there. It’s a little daring, but everyone goes all out for these parties usually and you definitely don’t want to be underdressed.

Harry texts you that he is in front of the building a little before seven, holding up the taxi he came with so you quickly grab everything you need and head out.

You’re the first one to see him through the glass entrance doors of your building, he is standing next to the car in a simple black suit and a soft yellow shirt underneath. It was actually your idea to match your outfits and he surely understood the assignment, especially seeing his also yellow nails.

Part of you is still hung up on what Leticia told you, but a bigger one is so excited to see him and also very into his look for the evening, that you push your doubts to the back of your mind and step out of the building with a shy smile on your lips as his eyes fall on you and you see his lips part.

“Wow! This dress is… wow!” he breathes out, his eyes raking your frame up and down shamelessly as you walk closer.

“Do you know any other words than wow?” you tease him, biting into your bottom lip.

“Yeah. How about: I would love to bend you over this taxi and take you here and now in this dress?”

Your face heats up immediately, slapping his arm, but then you leave your hand on his bicep and give it a squeeze as your answer: you’d definitely love that if it wasn’t kind of illegal to have sex out on a busy street.

The ignorance in you is so high that you don’t even mind how Harry keeps a hand on your thigh in the car, what’s more, you’re quite liking the warmth of his touch on you. His fingers are gently tapping against the music the driver is playing and he even hums a little along the songs.

“Hey, how is the album writing going?” you ask to break the silence a little.

“Great! They asked for fifteen songs until the end of August, so I have plenty of time, but I’m already done with six,” he beams, and you smile back at him proudly.

“That’s amazing. Can I hear any of them sometime?”

“I mean… if you buy the album?” he chuckles, making you roll your eyes at him. “I’ll see what I can do about that,” he then adds, giving your leg another squeeze before turning towards the window.

The party is just the same as it always is. A luxurious evening to celebrate the company’s success in the past six months, a way to give back to the employees and make them feel appreciated with all the free stuff. It’s nice, but you don’t feel like it’s necessary, people would be happier with a raise after all, than one night of free food and drinks.

Harry holds your hand as you walk in, the majority of the guests already present, music playing and there are several open buffet tables and bars in the gigantic ballroom that was decorated in a forest-like theme just for tonight.

“So you did not lie about bringing a date!” Anthony beams as soon as he sees you, his boyfriend, Pete following him right behind, both of them wearing matching burgundy suits.

“Have I lied to you about anything?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“Plenty of times,” he points out before turning towards Harry. “Hello handsome, I’m Anthony, Y/N’s favorite coworker, and this is my boyfriend, Pete.” They all shake hands, Harry smiling back at them warmly before his hand finds yours again, his fingers lacing together with yours in an instant.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m Harry.”

“Oh my! The accent!” Anthony gushes, clearly already a fan of Harry’s. “I was really afraid Y/N just said that she is bringing someone so we would get out of her hair this time.”

“I feel offended,” you give him a look, but he just shrugs it off, even though he is more right than he knows.

“Come on, let’s get you guys a drink, we are all sitting over there!”

Joining all your coworkers at the table, you get a head start on the food and drinks, not shying away from stacking everything you like onto your plate. Talking, mixing and mingling, Harry stays right next to you, charming everyone the two of you meet, earning you some approving looks from your colleagues that usually try to set you up with someone they know. This time, you’re left in peace the moment they see Harry with you, his hand always somewhere on you, holding your hand, the small of your back, your hips or waist or, your personal favorite, the back of your neck under your hair. His presence is uplifting already, but his tiny touches just warm you even more on the inside.

“I have to say, Y/N, you are absolutely glowing!” Dianne, one of the editors compliment you when the two of you are at the bar waiting for your drinks to be refilled. Harry stayed back at the table, deep in conversation with Pete about guitars, from what you could understand from their conversation.

“Oh, thank you!” you chuckle softly.

“This man is for sure treating you well. It’s so great to see you finally finding your person.”

She meant well with her comment, but it’s what brings everything you kept hidden in the back of your head out to the front. Tonight was supposed to be all pretending, making everyone believe something that’s not even there, but then why do you feel like it’s real? Like you fooled yourself with everyone else as well?

Your eyes fall back to Harry at the table, who is intently listening to something Pete is telling him and as if he had a sixth sense, his eyes snap at you, a smile stretching across his pretty face at an instant that makes you stomach dance again, heart beating oddly fast.

What is happening to you? This cannot be real, you can’t be having feelings, especially not for Harry. No, you do not allow that for yourself, emotions are off limits for you, because if you fall for someone that gives them the chance to leave you and break you and you’ve seen what it does to a woman. You got enough of the suffering through your mother and you vowed not to let it happen to you. And not even Harry Styles will change that. This is about sex and nothing else, no feelings are involved and that will not change. You won’t let it.

Excusing yourself from Dianne you quickly go back to the table, the refills long forgotten as you take your seat next to Harry. His hand instantly finds your leg as he looks at you with a sweet smile at first that turns into slight confusion.

“Thought you went for a refill?”

“Forget the drinks,” you shake your head, leaning closer to his ear. “You promised me bathroom sex.”

You feel the shift in him right away, how he bites into his bottom lip, his bright green irises darkening at your words, his hold on your leg tightening. His gaze flickers to your eyes and you want to devour him, you want him to take you here and there to prove you that this is all it’s about: sex.

Clearing his throat he mumbles a lame excuse as he pulls you from your chair, tugging you towards the restrooms, you try to keep up with his pace in your heels, but you also can’t wait for him to slam you against the door and fuck you quick and hard.

As soon as you’re locked away from the party in one of the bathrooms, your lips collide with his as he pushes you up against the door, a leg coming between your thighs and you can’t stop yourself from grinding on him.

“Fuck,” he rasps out, hands cupping your jaw as he angles your head just right while your hands are already traveling down his body to reach his pants, eager to get them undone as fast as possible.

However the sudden rush and desperation catches Harry’s eyes and he grabs your hands, stopping you mid-action.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asks, out of breath, concern filling his eyes.

“I just need you to fuck me,” you bluntly reply, but he doesn’t move.

“Okay, but why do you look so shaken up? Did something happen?”

“Harry, stop babying me! I said I’m fine, I just want you to fuck me!” you snap, losing your patience. Not sure if it’s with him or with yourself though.

“You’re obviously not fine! You are snapping at me for being decent and making sure you’re okay!” Harry steps away from you, the moment completely ruined as all physical contact ends with him, his eyes staring back at you in disbelief and you feel like a ticking bomb that’s about to explode.

“It’s not your concern if I’m okay or not. We have a deal, just go with that and leave the rest to me!”

“But above the deal we are friends too. I’m not gonna just… fuck you senseless when you’re obviously upset about something. You’re not in the right mindset.”

“Oh my God, stop being so fucking nice! Stop making these grand gestures and stop pretending like you give a fuck!” You raise your voice and it surely surprises him, but he is still more concerned than angry at your outburst.

“What do you mean pretending? I do care about you! Is that a fucking crime now?!”

“It is because it is for the wrong reasons!” you retort, feeling your throat closing up at the same time. Oh God, you hope you won’t start crying, that will make it even worse. “I think you are taking this pretending a little too far tonight. We are not a couple, this is not real, Harry,” you remind him.

He stares back at you for what feels like eternity and you wish you could read his mind, because you can’t read anything from his eyes, he just stands there like a statue and you feel panic crawling up your spine, slowly digging its claws into your flesh.

And then he finally breaks his silence.

“And would it be so bad if it was real?”

You can’t help a sob that emits from you, feeling like your guts are in a tight grip by his words. This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen.

“No, take that back!” you whine.

“I’m not taking it back! Y/N, what we’ve been doing these past weeks is exactly what a relationship is like and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it until a label was put on it. It doesn’t have to change anything!”

“But it is! And you know I don’t do this!”

“Don’t do what? Feelings? You don’t get to choose that!” he chuckles bitterly.

“I do! I fucking do! And I chose not to have them so… this is ending here, because you clearly caught feelings,” you pant in desperate need of getting out of the bathroom, but when you are about to open the door Harry’s hand snaps against it, keeping it closed. You rest your forehead against the cool surface of it, feeling Harry stand so close to you behind, his chest is touching your back.

“Don’t just walk away, we are in the middle of a conversation,” he growls, his voice filled with anger and warning.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” you whisper, shaking your head as you turn around and face him, your back pressing against the door.

“But I do,” he simply replies. “Why do you think you can just run away from feeling anything for the rest of your life? Why would it be so bad if you fell for someone, huh? I know you do have feelings, I know you well, Y/N. You’re not some cold hearted jerk, you are a caring and loving person, so why won’t you let yourself be happy?”

“I am happy the way I am, have you thought about that?”

“No, you’re not. I’ve known you half my life, I know that you want to be cared for, you want to be loved and cherished, yet you push away everyone who wants to give you that.”

“Because it’s not that easy, Harry!” you snap at him. “It’s never just the lovey-dovey shit! Feelings come with hurt and pain and heartbreaks and I don’t need that! I can’t handle that!”

“It’s not always the case! But if you never put yourself out there, you’ll never find the happiness you’re seeking!”

“Well, for me, it doesn’t worth it! I don’t want to fall for someone, plan my future with them and open up to them completely only for them to fall out of love with me one day and decide they don’t want anything to do with me! I don’t want to give anyone the chance to hurt me like that, because I’ve seen what it does to a person! I witnessed it all, Harry! I will not be a victim to that!”

You’re full on shouting, tears rolling down your cheeks at this point. You are letting everything out that’s been bottled up deep inside of you all this time. Nothing can make you believe in the fairytale that will never become your reality and you rather save the time and pain than experiment with it.

What really hurts is that now you are losing your friend. Your best friend. Because the way Harry is looking at you makes it obvious that you’ll never be like before the deal. The hurt, the shock, the panic and the anger, it all mixes in his wide-eyed gaze and it’s like a knife into your chest.

“You promised me, Harry,” you sob, voice now barely more than just a whisper. “You swore you wouldn’t catch feelings but you lied!”

“I didn’t lie,” he simply answers clenching his jaw. “I said I wouldn’t catch feelings for you, but truth is… I already had them. I was already in love with you, have been for a while. And you know what? I think you love me too, but you’re just too afraid to admit it. I know it because I can feel it. The way you touch me, look at me, the way you talk to me, it’s written all over you, but you choose to ignore it.”

“You don’t know shit,” you shake your head vigorously. “You think you know it, but you don’t.”

“Stop denying it, Y/N! You can’t just switch it off! Loving is not as horrendous as you think it is! Yes, it comes with pain too, but the good is always there to make you forget about it. You have to give it… you have to give yourself a chance!”

“I don’t have to do anything, Harry,” you sass back, pushing him away so you have the chance to sneak out of the room before he could stop you. But he doesn’t let it end that easily. Running after you he catches your wrist before you could get out of the hallway, pulling you back.

“Don’t just fucking walk away, Y/N! We need to talk about this!”

“No, we don’t. And I’m done with this. Done with… you.”

It hurts. The words rolling off of your tongue hurt, but you choose to ignore it once again as you shake his hand off of yourself, marching back to your table to grab your bag and leave.

“What do you mean you’re done with me? Don’t do this, Y/N! Let’s just fucking talk!”

Harry keeps trying to stop you, but you’re determined to leave. Your coworkers notice the little scene, but you don’t pay it any attention as you head out of the room, knowing well they’ll talk shit about you behind your back as soon as you’re out of the building.

“Y/N for fuck’s sake just stop already!” Harry snaps, grabbing your arm once again when you’re outside, pulling you back, but you’ve had enough.

“No! I’m not stopping, you need to stop! Stop trying to make yourself believe this is anything more than just the deal we made! It’s not and it will never be, because you don’t get to have the privilege of hurting me, nobody gets to do that!”

“Who said I want to hurt you?! That’s the last thing I would want to do! It’s not as cruel as you imagine it, Y/N. I know that your mum had a terrible love life when you were younger, but that’s not the only side to love! There are so much good about it, so much to fight for and endure with the bad sides, you can’t just throw all of it out the window because you decided love is just not for you!”

“I can and I will. Watch me!” you bite back, tearing your arm out of his hold as you step to the side of the pavement and wave a taxi down.

“Please don’t get into that car, Y/N, let’s talk!”

“We talked enough,” you huff as the car stops in front of you and you hop inside, but just as you are about to close the door Harry once again stops you.

“Y/N, I love you. Please don’t do this!” he begs, so much sorrow and pain radiating from his face and for a moment you fall weak. You almost reach out to him, because part of you hates seeing him like this, especially knowing that it’s because of you. You just want him to be happy, but you know it’s not gonna be with you. You can never give him what he wants and needs. He’ll be better off without you.

“I’m sorry,” you choke out before pulling the door closed and the car drives away. Turning around you see him stand on the pavement, completely broken and shaken, his hands tangling into his hair as he angrily kicks at the dirt before the car melts into the traffic and he falls out of your sight.

You did it for your and Harry’s sake. It had to be done and you are both better off this way. At least that’s what you’ve been trying to convince you to believe.

But why does it hurt so badly then?

Harry tried you calling a million times after you left him at the party, he even came after you and banged on your door for thirty minutes straight, begging you to let him in and just talk, but you didn’t even answer him. Just waited until he left before you curled up in the shower and cried for about an hour.

The calls and texts kept coming in the next few days, but after a while he gave up. He got nothing but silence from your side and one last, long ass text that you didn’t even read because you knew you’d just start crying again, he finally gave up.

You were left alone with all the pain and emptiness and you realized how big part of your life Harry played before. Somehow, everything reminded you of him and you couldn’t do anything without wishing he was with you.

You truly believed that time will heal you, that soon you’ll realize that you made the right decision, but days turned into weeks and nothing changed, you just learned to live with the pain. You stopped going out with your friends and not just because you were afraid of seeing Harry, but because you genuinely couldn’t get yourself to leave the house. Your evenings consisted of binge eating all the ice-cream you could find in your freezer and watching reruns of your favorite shows, but nothing could really take your mind off of Harry.

Day after day you cancelled on Leticia as well until she had enough of your hermit life. She got fed up watching you sink into your pit of sorrow and decided to take things into her own hands and not let you run away from her.

A Friday evening you’re doing what you’ve been doing for weeks now, lying on your couch in sweatpants, scrolling through Netflix when there’s a knock on your door. You wait, hoping whoever it is will think you’re not home and go away, but another obnoxious knock rips through the apartment and you growl.

“I know you’re in there bitch, open the fucking door!” Leticia shouts from outside and you curse the day you became friends with her. Maybe you would have been better off as enemies.

“I’m busy!” you call out, but make your way to the front door anyway, opening it to reveal her.

“Yeah, I can see that. Busy with being a bag of trash,” she comments on your appearance, walking inside without an invitation.

“Jeez, you really did wake up today and chose violence,” you mutter under your breath as you shut the door closed.

Leticia is quick to turn the TV off and open up the windows as you just stand there, not sure what she is doing here.

“When did you clean this place? And when was the last time you took a shower?” she asks, her nose scrunching when she takes a better look at you.

“Okay, did you come here to offend me? Because I don’t need that so please leave.”

“No, I’m here to beat some sense into you.”

“Good luck with that,” you scoff, taking your spot on the couch once again. You reach for the remote with the intention of turning the TV back on, but Leticia stands in front of the screen, blocking the device completely as she stares down at you with a disapproving look, arms folded on her chest.

“You’re acting like a child, Y/N. Avoiding everyone and being mad at the whole world, are you an emo teenager now or what?”

“I’m not mad at the whole world!”

“Okay, then you’re mad at just Harry, still, it’s a mistake.”

“I’m not mad at only Harry either,” you admit truthfully.

“Who else then?”

“Myself?” you mumble, eyes falling closed as you slide lower down on the couch.

“That makes the two of us, but why are you mad at yourself?” she asks, finally moving from her spot in front of the TV as she sits next to you on the couch, crossing her legs as she waits for your answer.

“Because…” you start with a sigh, opening your eyes, but you avoid looking at her, instead, you stare at the wall across you. “Because I can’t fucking stop thinking about him,” you admit and your lips start trembling instantly, just like every time you think about him. “I miss him so fucking badly, Tish! I miss our conversations, I miss his stupid jokes, I miss him raiding my fucking fridge and I miss…”

You bite your tongue, not wanting to admit the next thoughts loudly. Because you miss kissing him, you miss holding him and be held by him. You miss sex too, but you miss the tiny things even more, the way his lips feel against yours, how he smiles against them when you whimper his name and you miss the awkward little things the most. When he accidentally bumps his head against yours or when say random shit right before he pushes into you just to make you laugh, or when he leans in for a kiss but misses it and ends up kissing your nose or just the corner of your mouth. You miss everything about him and you hate him for that, but you hate yourself even more. It feels like your own conscious has betrayed you.

Shutting your eyes closed you let the tears roll down your cheeks as Leticia scoots closer and wraps her arms around you, cooing soothingly at you.

“It’s alright. It’s totally normal, Y/N.”

“It is not! Not for me at least!” you protest pulling back, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hands.

“Stop with the bullshit already!” she growls in annoyance. “You are not some kind of ice queen who is incapable of loving! You love me, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s different,” you roll your eyes.

“Not really. You love your other friends as well, right?” You nod. “And you love your mom,” she adds and you nod again. “Would you do anything for these people?”

“Of course.”

“Do you like spending time with them? Do you care about them in all kinds of ways?”

“Yes,” you sigh, fumbling with the hem of your shirt.

“Do you feel the same way about Harry? Do you care about him, would you do anything for him to make him happy?”

“Yes,” you whisper truthfully.

“Then don’t complicate it. You love him, no big deal! And he surely loves you back, because he told you, right?” You nod. “Then pull your head out of your ass and just let yourself be happy for once.”

“Why are you coming with this too? I was happy on my own too!”

“No, you were getting by,” she points it out. “You were doing good, but you weren’t… a whole. Harry gave you everything you missed, but for some fucked up reason you think it’s the end of the world to depend on someone else partially when it comes to your happiness. Which can be a smart thing, it’s important to be your own person and be independent, but sometimes we need some help from others. From people that love us and we love them back. It’s not a crime, Y/N.”

“No, but it’s gonna end up with me being heartbroken.”

“You already are,” she ruthlessly replies, bringing your attention to what you’ve been trying to ignore all this time. “Hate to break it to you, but this is what that feels like. So why not just go with it, you already felt the pain, now you could go for the good parts as well.”

“I don’t know if I can do it, Tish,” you breathe out, resting your head against the back of the couch. “Even if I did it, I know I would mess it up and hurt him or maybe he’ll do something stupid and hurt me and I don’t think I can handle that.”

“So what? It’s part of the deal. And besides, you’re already hurting each other, so you better get your shit together,” she scoffs, poking your side playfully.

It’s part of the deal. Are you ready to make a new deal? One that you’ve been avoiding your whole life? Are you ready to cut yourself open for someone else and just hope for the best?

Probably not. And probably you’ll never be. But your tactics didn’t succeed so far, you still ended up in pain so why not give it a chance? Even if it’s gonna be the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

“Do you think he hates me now?” you ask quietly, peeking at her scared of her answer.

“He is a bit mad at you for shutting him out, but he could never hate you. That man loves you so much, it’s almost disgusting,” she admits, making you chuckle. “Just… be honest with him and talk to him. You need it. You both need it.”

Harry’s fingers strum against the chords again, trying to get the tune right, but he fails again, a frustrated growl leaving his lips as he lets his head fall forwards. He’s been trying to finish the song for hours, but it still hasn’t come together the way he imagined and his patience is running short.

It’s been hard for him to focus on writing, with you on his mind all the time, everything seems like a hard task. He has written plenty of songs since the night at the party, but he could never use them for his job. One, because they are so fucking sad and depressive and they asked for upbeat hits from him, and two, because they are all so personal, he could never give them to someone else. He can’t let anyone else sing the lines he wrote to you, but you’ll probably never hear them.

Giving up on finishing the song today, he puts the guitar aside and calls it a day. Walking into the kitchen he opens the fridge and realizes that it’s completely empty aside from a bottle of ketchup and a single banana. He’s been such a mess lately, he forgot to go grocery shopping yesterday. Huffing to himself he grabs the banana and reaches for his phone to order something right when his doorbell rings. He is not expecting anyone, but Mitch has been popping in every few days to check in on him since everything that went down with you, so Harry is convinced it’s him again.

“Great timing, do you want Italian or Chinese?” he asks, walking up to the door, but as he swings it open he freezes when he sees you standing on the doormat. “Y/N…” he breathes out as if he was seeing a ghost.

“Hi! I-I hope I’m not bothering you o-or anything…” you ramble nervously.

“No! No, come on in!” He snaps out of his trance and steps aside, letting you walk inside. A feeling of nostalgia hits you right away as you think back at the last time you were here. Just a few days before the party, when everything was different.

“I’m sorry I came without asking, I just… I would say I was nearby, but that’s not true,” you chuckle anxiously as the two of you walk into the living room. You notice that his place is a little messier than usually, but it’s not nearly as bad as yours was before you did a deep cleaning yesterday after Leticia’s comments on it.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. What… What brought you here?”

“I, uhh… I’ve been thinking. A lot. And I have a few things I need to tell you.”

For a moment Harry’s stomach drops, because he thinks you came here to tell him off one more time for breaking your deal, for everything that happened at the party. He is already bracing himself to just let you lash out on him, but it never comes. And when you speak up again, he nearly faints.

“I love you.”

It’s a strong start, definitely a surprising one. Harry’s lips part and his eyes widen, his look almost comical, but you’re not laughing, not now. You have a lot to tell him and you can only hope he won’t throw you out after everything is said.

“I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to stop ignoring it, but I promise you I’m done with that. And I’m sorry for everything I said to you that night, I was… mad and confused and I didn’t know how to deal with everything at once. I was delusional and ignorant and… a fool for thinking that I could just choose to never have feelings, especially for you,” you add with a tiny, nervous chuckle. “You were right. About everything. That I can’t live without ever putting myself out there and risking it. And I think deep down I knew that, but I was so afraid of getting hurt that I made myself believe I’m good on my own, but I’m not. Not entirely, to be precise. Because sometimes it is worth risking it and… and I realized that you are the person for me who is worth this risk.”

The tears are already blurring your vision, for the millionth time these past weeks, but it feels right now. Opening up to Harry and telling him all of this is hard, but with every spoken word you feel lighter and more relieved.

“I’m sorry if I made you think that I don’t love you, because I do. I really do. You are my best friend and these past weeks have been hell for me without you. I was so keen on avoiding a heart break that I ended up breaking my own heart,” you chuckle bitterly, the first tear running down your cheek.

Harry reaches out and wipes it away with his thumb and you involuntarily melt into his touch. You’ve been starved for it and now it feels like home. When you look up and your eyes meet his, you see that they are red too and it just makes you want to cry even more.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just thought that I was doing the right thing, but I was so far from that. So I’m really sorry and I understand if you don’t want to see me again for the way I acted. I was… a horrible friend and… an even worse girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah. Because you were right, we were more than just the deal and… if you choose not to throw me out after this, I would… I would love to give it a try with you. I want to be the girlfriend you deserve and though I’m sure I’ll mess it up a lot of times, I promise I’ll try my best, becau—“

He makes your rambling stop in the best way possible, lips smashing against yours as he cups your tear-soaked cheeks in his warm palms, pulling you close to him, your arms curling around his waist immediately.

Harry has kissed you several times before, but none of them compares to this. It’s messy and salty from both your tears, but you wouldn’t change a thing about it, the way his lips move against yours, tongues meeting, devouring each other, making up for the lost time and full of promises for the future. You hold onto his shirt at his back for dear life as he just keeps kissing you over and over again until you both run out of breath.

“So, does this mean you’re not throwing me out?” you joke, breaking the silence once you’ve pulled back.

“Fuck no,” he laughs, pecking your lips a few more times before his lips meet your forehead. “You are not leaving this place, ever. You’re trapped,” he adds to the joke and you break out in a relieved laughter.

“Wait, so I’m stuck with you now?” you whine playfully, but all you get is another kiss on the lips, hard and demanding.

“Yeah, forever, baby. You won’t get rid of me now, not after the speech you just gave me,” he smirks down at you, his arms coming to curl around your shoulders as he keeps you pressed against him tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you reply, your heart soaring as you hear those words again from him, this time, not even trying to dodge them in any way. In fact, you just want to hear him say it every minute over and over again for the rest of your life. “And I’m happy to be stuck with you,” you add with a shy smile as his grin widens at your words.

“Yeah? So we have a new deal then?” he teases, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Absolutely.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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