#anyway if you're worried if this is about you. i promise. it's not
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𓏲 𓂃 L o s i n g Y o u
Part: 8
Click here to read the first part.
Summary: Everything was good as a member of Payback and Soldier Boy's secret girlfriend until the team and your relationship with him began to fall apart due to a new member and her developing relationship with Ben right in front of your eyes.
Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader
Warnings: heavy angst, hurt , language, PTSD, mention of drugs, mention of torture
Word Count: 4538
A/N: English is not my first language.
* This story is inspired by the song "Losing You" by Dream Evil.
You asked Ben again, “What did you do to those people?” while he continued to look at your furious and angered look.
He avoided watching the news and simply replied in a dry voice, “I didn't mean to hurt them. Everything happened so quickly.”
Despite your hopes that, after all this time, he would change a little, you came to the conclusion that his appearance was the only thing that had changed. He was the same guy who hurt everyone around him like they were just insects, never thinking twice about it. He remained the same merciless man who just cared about himself.
You were too ignorant to believe that it was Crimson Countess had drastically changed him, but this was simply another lie you told yourself in defense of Ben's behavior. It was just who he really was.
You talked softly while Butcher continued to watch TV, “How can you even stay the same after all the things that happened to you?”
“I killed the doctor who hurt and tortured you. You already knew; whatever I did for him, he deserved it,” he angrily said, gesturing to you as though he were doing you a favor and somehow trying to convince you.
“Should I feel like a graduate and thank you?” You questioned him bitterly, glaring at him. “You are the reason I spent decades being imprisoned and subjected to torture in vain. You are the reason I am currently homeless and the state's number two foe. How come you're still so blind and self-centered?”
Ben grumbled, “Calm down, baby,” ignoring your inquiries as he roughly grabbed the remote control out of Butcher's hand and flicked through the channels. “We can talk about things at a later time. For now, take a moment to rest.”
Ben continued to stare at the TV and shifted on the couch in an attempt to make himself more comfortable, so you replied, “Don't call me 'baby.'”
“It looks like Tony Montana is going to bed alone tonight.” With a cunning grin, Butcher attempted to reclaim the remote control from Ben's grasp. “Also, don’t be dramatic and so upset, you have a place to stay, you’re not homeless.”
“Tony Montana—who the fuck is he?” Ben muttered, pushing Butcher's hands a little too hard while refusing to give up the remote control. “I’m in charge in here. What I watch, you'll watch too.”
“Hey, you remember our deal, don't you? I'm hoping you won't back down.”
You turned to Butcher and questioned, “What deal?” with a confused gaze on your face when he suddenly started speaking in a serious and mysterious tone.
Ben stepped in immediately and shot Butcher a quick glance, saying, “It's not so important.”
“All right, there's nothing to worry about. Your teammate just promised me that he would help me kill a cunt named Homelander.”
Ben kept shooting Butcher with a deadly look as he immediately spilled the beans.
“I'm not worried about anything,” you cut Butcher off abruptly, averting Ben's tough stare. “Whatever he's up to, he's alone in this. But tell me, what’s deal about.”
“Sweetheart, I don't need your help anyway. You simply stay at home and take care of things while you chill,” Ben said in an amused way, attempting to hide his tiny sense of hurt that came from your coldness.
He didn't intend to include anything that would distress you further, but he couldn't stop remembering the times you supported and fought alongside him. He would never ask you to get involved in the Homelander situation, though, since he knows you've already been through a lot of terrible things. He was also too proud to accept your assistance.
Turning to face you, Butcher added, “You don’t have to be so ruthless. He made the deal to get help from me to save you.”
Butcher believed that, given Homelander's strength, helping him would be beneficial and that it would be great if you would just soften and offer a helping hand. Butcher knew Soldier Boy would be happy to let you fight alongside him, as he was aware that he took your suit from Legend. You were once the strongest superwoman, after all, and he would have a better chance of finally killing Homelander.
Hughie, thankfully, returned to join you with a meal in his hands before you could ask Butcher any more questions. You were so hungry that you didn't even realize it until you smelled pizza. It was all about pleasure, yet even if you starved for decades, you wouldn't die.
Hughie smiled hesitantly and said, “Sorry, I didn't ask you before ordering, but I hope you're okay with pizza.” It's likely that he was the only decent person in the room. You wondered why this person was willing to work with a man like Butcher. He gave off an air of deception.
“Of course it's okay,” you said as soon as you smelled it. You then gave him a graditude look and said, “Thanks a lot.”
Ben quickly got up, tossed the remote control in Butcher's face, and grabbed the pizza from Hughie's hands as he sat next to you before you could move. Ben stepped closer, spreading his legs a little and making contact with your thighs, but you put some distance between you two right away. You didn’t understand why he was acting like that out of the blue, but you didn’t ask anything.
None of you spoke, even though you felt Ben's gaze briefly lingering on you. Although you were unsure of what Ben truly wanted from you, you were determined to learn from your past mistakes. Therefore, it was best to clarify it for him as well.
Upon seeing Noir's visual on TV, you exclaimed in shock, “Is Noir still working for Vought?”
That was the moment you understood. Earving never came to save you. If he just wanted to, you knew he could and would find you. You could understand why he might not have wanted to take the risk of going through the same things with you if he had a legitimate reason for not saving you. You had no right to be selfish. However, you were certain that you would behave differently if he were in your place. You therefore couldn't help but feel a little let down.
Ben angrily remarked, “Of course he does,” as he watched you devour the pizza. “He wouldn't even take his shit without the permission of Vought. Fucking traitor. He didn't even give a fuck about the things you went through all those years. I had no doubts that he was going to abuse your friendship. There was always something sneaky about him.”
You couldn’t left out a small hiss as Ben started to talk about loyalty.
“All right,” you replied, casting him a piercing glance. “I got used to being betrayed.”
He aggressively exclaimed, “Don't compare me with that son of a bitch,” and launched into a self-defense tirade. “I came to save you too as soon as I was free, and I looked for you everywhere.”
“How could I ever compare you with him while I know you are worse. And yes, Ben, you're quite considerate to have searched me in the Countess' home. Many thanks for it.”
“I payed a visit to her because I knew she was most probably the one tricked you. It was nothing else.”
“Whatever,” you said back harshly. “I don’t care anyways.”
Butcher interrupted you after making a brief phone call in the kitchen, saying, “Listen here, Bonnie and Clyde. Hughie and I need to get out and meet some buddies, but if you're not going to make trouble and if you don't want to fuck in peace all night, it's best if you don't stay at home. In every other case of emergency, you need to join us.”
You hurriedly swallowed the large slice of pizza and gasped, “We won't... I mean, we wouldn't,” to Butcher. Your cheeks flushed. “It's not like we're together or anything, so don't misinterpret and talk like this, please.”
Ben leaned back to the coach and said, “Well, I'm all in, baby,” pleased to see you flushed and in a panic. “Keep in mind that. Since I'm free, I didn't even fucking jerk off once. You can use me however you like,” he stated, stretching his legs and making an attempt to brush against you briefly while grinning genuinely and invitingly.
You grumbled, “I'm trying to enjoy my meal here,” ignoring the absolute filth that was flowing from his mouth.
“All right, that's OK.” Butcher urged you to complete your dinner, saying, “You can continue eating where we go. We must leave in five minutes.”
Ben growled, “Don't fucking order her around.”
“It's fine,” you stopped eating right away. “Where we're going to go?”
“We have to get some Temp-V from Hughie's friend. It appears that we will need to use it soon,” Butcher replied, glancing at Ben. “Unfortunately, you can't beat Homeland with just one guy.”
Ben did not even respond to Butcher's crap; he only rolled his eyes. He was aware that Homelander would be the easiest to take down. He was Soldier Boy, and someone of Butcher's age wouldn't fully get who he was.
You and Ben were seated in the back of Butcher's car, and Ben was covering the whole place almost as if he wanted you to lean into his body. He was always on the move, both his hands and his legs, and occasionally you would think he looked a bit bashful if you didn't know just how arrogant he really was. Somehow, you sensed the uncertainty, but you didn't look him up or ask him questions.
You couldn't help but feel confused and depressed as you gazed out of the car window at the enormous, gleaming structures. You no longer felt like you belonged in the world because so many years had passed in a tiny little cage. It seemed as though no one knew you, cared about you, or you had no place to stay. It's not your world, but rather other people's, that you see when you peek out the window.
You said, “Everything looks so different,” as a sense of melancholy took over you.
“Not at all,” Ben remarked in an arrogant tone, as if he had figured out everything in a single day. “I've learned many things; I will teach you all; don't worry.”
You challenged him, casting him a skeptical glance. “What do you know?”
“Well, I might teach you a thing or two because you're too eager to learn. For instance, GPS and the Internet were quite helpful in helping us learn about you and the place you were kept,” he added with pride as he smiled at you and waited for your reaction.
You whispered, “You're just making those words up,” unsure if he was trying to trick you.
“Those words are real words. I had said the same to that fuckface; believe me, sweetheart,” he continued, giving Hughie a harsh shoulder pat. “Hand over your damn android phone to me.”
Hughie murmured in distress, “Oh, God,” as Butcher nodded awkwardly and gave him an odd look. “Just don’t break it or something, please.”
Hughie handed his phone reluctantly to Ben, who took it with a swift move, and Ben used it like a pro, tapping the screen quickly. When he wrote down his name and yours on the screen called 'Google', your eyes widened open as you saw a ton of images and details about the two of you, Payback, and everything else.
Captivated by what Ben showed you, you muttered, “Everything about us is written down there.”
“See,” he declared with pride, chuckling at your bewildered response. “I told you I was very well-informed. The name of this one is Internet.”
You challenged him again, interested in learning more about this small device, which seemed to know a lot of things. The modern world is unquestionably something else, with easy access to knowledge at any time and about any subject matter.
“I am familiar with social media. If you don't want to be identified by your real identity, you can put up a fake profile and follow anybody you want. I made one for the two of us as well.” Ben responded, seeming proud of everything he had achieved with a cunning smile on his face.
You pretended to understand everything he said as you asked, “And what's your fake name?”
“It’s ‘soldierboyy/n69.' Pretty creative, isn't it?”
“Oh my gosh, Ben,” you said, pushing the phone and his hands in an annoyed tone as your face turned red. “Everyone will know that it is you. I shall be accused of having once again supported your actions if they find out the identity of your account. Why do you act so carelessly?”
“Everyone has those fake names,” Ben said, grimacing at how much you disapproved of what he had done. Nobody will find out because I'm not using it anyway."
He intended to show you that he never thought of himself apart from you and that he thought of you even while he was setting up the account, but all he managed was to distress and upset you once more. Observing your defensively crossed arms on your chest, he sighed and moved his strong arms to your seat in an attempt to get close to you.
“How are you so sure?” you asked as he handed over the phone to Hughie in a rude manner.
“Because that's the way the modern world works, sweetheart. Nothing and anyone are real when it comes to Internet.”
“Indeed,” Butcher said, glancing at the two of you through the mirror. “He is right; no one will find out. It's not really a big deal; trust me, if it were, I would have problems as well because of him.”
You cut it short, closing your eyes and lowering your head to the seat. “Okay,” you mumbled.
It was as though some odd numbness overcame your body, leaving you exhausted and unbalanced even after decades of sleep. It was most likely due to the quantity of sleep that your body became accustomed to, and it's also possible that you were experiencing a side effect from what you experienced in the lab. Nonetheless, it didn't concern you because you knew you still had your strength. You only needed to get a bit more rest. As you closed your eyes to give your body a break until you got there, you inhaled deeply.
You slowly opened your eyes, feeling Ben's gentle touch on your cheek, and heard him say, “You really turned into sleeping beauty, didn't you?” in a lighthearted manner.
“Have we arrived?” you muttered as you opened your eyes and noticed his intense gaze on you. The moment Butcher and Hughie slammed the car door, you immediately fully came to your senses.
Ben nodded, confused, not knowing how to react to your coldness as you gently moved his hands away from your face.
Ben and you had just followed Butcher and Hughie to the small, slightly desolate house. You looked around the room, and the other two women, who were glancing at you warily, exchanged glances. You could tell they were supes, just like you, from the whiff of Comp-V in their scents. You were a little nervous because you had no idea what their intentions were toward you. You had no friends or someone to rely on anymore, and you were a stranger to everything after all.
“Ladies, how are you doing here?” Butcher grabbed a glass of whiskey from the kitchen and inquired as he sat down right away on the closest couch.
“I can't believe you and you especially you Hughie,” the blonde remarked angrily. “You two really set them both free, and you forced me to take so much Temp-V; we're going to be caught. It's only a matter of time.”
“So you're the supe woman that bottom-faced guy pounding?” Ben aggressively exclaimed, pushing the short-haired man to the right while he snatched a cola from the refrigerator. “And the one who works for Vought when you're not getting off and doing other things.”
“Stop it, Ben,” you said in a warned tone as his abrupt aggression caused the air to thicken.
“Why don't we just sit down and have a nice chat?” Hughie looked at you anxiously, as if you wanted to soothe Ben before anything happened.
“Relax, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a cunning grin when he spotted you approaching him, and you gave him a cold look while he sipped his coke in joy.
“Well, Annie, that it wasn't in vain. Soldier Boy and I struck very useful bargain, didn't we?” Butcher inquired, glancing back to Ben with a sly smile. “We're going to kill Homelander together.”
You felt uneasy, and your thoughts turned to the Homelander once again. Even if you didn't care about Ben at all, you couldn't help but feel concerned because you were both strangers to Vought and the outside world now that Ben had gotten into so much trouble. Not only did you not want to return to the lab, but you also didn't want Ben to go through the same painful experiences. Even though he had been vile to you, you didn't want him to suffer forever in Russia.
Annie replied, “You should have told me, Hughie,” casting a disappointed glare at her boyfriend. “You’re so acting strangely these days.”
Hughie insecurely responded, “I know, I know,” rubbing her cheeks. “And I’m really sorry for it. It won’t happen again.”
The man with short hair said, “You all know that they both are being searched by the government, right?”
Butcher shot back, “Of course we all fucking know that, Frenchie.”
Annie looked at you and said, “Well, I guess Y/N's situation is worse,” while you stood by Ben, watching him carefully to make sure he didn't suddenly lose his temper and start some serious drama. “Well, she's a known traitor after all.”
You immediately defended yourself by saying, “I'm not a traitor,” and you were enraged at her haughty demeanor. Despite her lack of knowledge, she was constantly talking about things she had no idea about. “Vought only spread lies and caused us pain in order to build up the next generation, which is your generation. They tortured me for years just because I wanted to quit.”
Annie's expression softened as she realized that Vought would do something like that and that she was having trouble as well in Seven. She then apologized to you by looking at you and sincerely saying, “I'm sorry to hear that.”
She went on, making an effort to get you to see how complicated the situation was, saying, “But you need to understand that no one will believe you. For all this time, you have been regarded as a spy for the entire world. The same remains for Soldier Boy.”
“What is your point?” Ben cut her off with a harsh voice.
Ben was becoming mad at those morons; they were just some stupid kids who liked to order other kids around, but he was a man, a true leader, the strongest supe to live, and they had no idea what him and you had been through or who had been in charge decades earlier. He was already becoming a little tense about that blonde's cunning ideas, so he realized he had to proceed with caution going forward. He had to watch out for you too, in order to keep you safe.
With defensive hands on her hips, Annie retorted, “The thing is, it's best if you don't see each other for a while. I can help you spend a week in various secure locations, separated.”
Ben abruptly tensed up, enraged that the blonde had already made plans in her cunning mind to keep him away from you. “No fucking way,” he said. He was certain that those fucked-brains would propose something so incredibly moronic.
Even if it made sense, you realized those new guys weren't to be trusted as they were strangers. It was true that you needed some alone time apart from Ben, but for the time being, it was preferable to ignore what you’re told.
“Everyone is talking about what happened in New York and Ohio,” Annie said furiously. “I’m just asking you two be hidden for a week. Everything’s already complicated in Vought and I have my own problems.”
“Look, sneaky woman,” Ben hissed, “I don’t give fuck about your problems or anything at all. If you ever suggest such thing, you won’t have a head to think such idiotic things anymore. I’m warning you.”
“Ben, you need to calm down,” you said. You scowled at the feeling that his chest was unusually heated compared to normal.
Frenchie agreed, saying, “Y/N is right; there is no need to fight each other.” The supe woman next to him smiled and patted his shoulders.
Butcher responded, “Annie is right too, though,” as he examined the Temp-V carefully on his lap. “Too much attention has been paid to Soldier Boy during the past three days. We are also doomed if he is seen soon enough.”
“They could be right,” you acknowledged, nodding to Butcher, understanding that his points were reasonable. Since you and Ben were currently the state's number one and two foes, you also didn't want to get into any sort of trouble.
Ben cursed, “Fuck that,” and he gave Butcher a menacing stare. He got offended at the fact that you instantly agreed with them but not with him. “I didn't realize I had done business with so many jerks. If you're that afraid of what's ahead, I might accept your suggestion, but Y/N is staying with me.”
“Calm down, buddy. Why are you so obsessed?” Butcher questioned, putting the bag down from his lap.
When you realized Ben was about to start an argument without reason, you asked him, “Why are you being like this?” in an irritated tone.
“Are you saying that you're prepared to follow those fuckfaces' instructions?” While you could tell he was angry, he inquired quietly, “What's wrong with you?”
Ben set down the coke and paid no attention to Butcher's irritating remarks. Instead, his attention was drawn to you. The fact that you didn't trust him but did trust the new people you had met most disturbed him. It was not them who saved you, but it was him who considered your safety and future. Still, you were ready to follow what they had to say. You'd been away from each other for a long time, so there was no reason to spend another minute separately.
“I'm not saying anything, Ben. I just want you to quit being irrationally dissatisfied and to be reasonable.”
Butcher sighed as he watched you start to debate, but Annie grasped Hughie's arm and guided him to another room to have a conversation.
Ben stated, “I'm not getting angry for no reason,” while attempting to stay controlled.
Despite Ben was desperate to touch you, he restrained himself since he knew that you two needed to have discussed the situation before acting on it. How in the world was he supposed to talk to you properly after a week apart? “I'm just saying, we don't have to spend a week alone and separated,” Ben said with a low voice.
Your eyes wandered around everywhere except for him.
“I'm not sure, Ben,” you teased him, feeling hesitant about his response. “Maybe we should.”
“How can you be sure that those people won't imprison you to a metal box once more? Do you really want to go back to that lab? You're saying you have faith in them, but not in me?”
You angrily gasped, “Don't you ever talk to me about trust. I would never make the same mistake by trusting you again.”
He tried to calm himself down, saying, “I'm the only one who saved you,” but the heat inside his chest kept growing.
“Will you stop arguing?” Butcher got up and asked, watching Ben trap you against the kitchen table while grinning at Ben and sipping his whiskey. “She obviously wants to be by herself for a while. Would you please just accept her decision and let her to enjoy herself?”
Ben angrily remarked, “Mind your fucking own business; we are fucking having a conversation here.”
You stopped disputing with him and cast a puzzled glance at his chest as soon as you felt the warmth in his chest increasing once more.
Butcher said, “It's like you're forcing her for something she doesn't want to though. Don't be such a drama queen,” ignoring Frenchie's warnings. “She might just want to spend time alone in a nice place and fuck with some hot dudes, savor the time she missed all those years.”
Ben snarled, turning to face Butcher and ignoring you this time. “Watch your fucking language," he growled. “If you say one more word, I fucking swear I'll rip your heads off.”
Ben's chest began to glow suddenly before he could finish his sentence, and your eyes widened, sensing the anxiety and the heat coming from his body.
“Ben,” you whispered quietly, uneasy with his rage and the anguish on his face, as if he tried to maintain self-control.
With an expression of fright on his face, Frenchie and the supe woman next to him also retreated a step. “Calm down, buddy,” Butcher muttered. “Let's not cause another accident. You've already done enough damage, huh. ”
But Ben's chest continued to glow, alerting you. “Hey, what's wrong with you?” you asked as you walked up to him, stroking his arms and then his face and making him to look at you.
He snarled, “I can't hold it,” and shoved your hands away right away. “Stay away from me.”
Instead of following commands, you remained in the same spot and continued to massage his upper arms in an effort to soothe him though you got extremely anxious. Then, in the hopes of calming him down a little, you put your hands on his burning, hot chest. Even if there was smoke slightly arising from his body, your hands felt chilly.
You whispered, “It's okay,” feeling his temperature drop beneath your fingertips gradually.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿
A/N: Comments and reblogs are very appreciated! -`♡´-
Taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @xmariakx @spnfamily-j2 @suspicious-stain-in-spain @atomicsoulcollecto @yvonneeeee @starryperson @mfnqueen1 @chaand-sitara @boywivlove @stilinskisthings @brynanna @delaynadee @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @yoyoanaria @n-o-p-e-never @ghostslillady @certifiedhaters @deans-spinster-witch @demodemo909 @stoneyggirl @cheynovak @libby99hb @moneyburner
Let me know if you want to be tagged for this series. -`♡´-
#the boys#soldier boy x reader#jensen ackles soldier boy#the boys series#soldier boy the boys#soldier boy#jensen ackles#the boys tv#the boys amazon#the boys season 3#the boys soldier boy#the boys x reader#the boys season 4#soldier boy fanfiction#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x y/n#soldier boy x female reader#jensen ackles fanfiction#jensen ackles x reader#jensen ackles fic#jensen ackles the boys#soldier boy fic
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Let's have a drink, shall we?
Summary: MC suddenly asks for "vacations" to go to the mountains and gain a bottle to drink with their favorite demon. Inspired by this post by @obeymekarasu
Finally!! Happy birthday Lucifer!!! I've got this in my drafts for weeks but I'm glad I've finished it before his date 👏😼
Warnings: little cursing, MC receives harsh words Genre: little angst & comfort
Pairing: Lucifer x MC Series: — 𝑂𝑏𝑒𝑦 𝑚𝑒! - 𝑆𝑊𝐷?!
MC'S . . . GN! Words count: 3.6k
"MC's been real quiet don't ya' think?" Mammon asks to the demon next to him. Leviathan quickly answering back, "Yes, but I don't know why could that be..."
The living room falls silent once again, even when the five missing brothers knew this time of the day is spent chattering or fighting for another absurd thing between those two who happen to be the greed and envy embodiments.
The strangest is that the exchange human who they were talking about just moments ago was present, seemingly reading something difficult to understand on their D.D.D.
"Do any of you know...the Drealinal Mountain?" they finally spoke.
"Wha-" "Why'd you wanna know that?!" Leviathan interrupts Mammon.
"Uh, n-no reason..." you said shying away from their piercing gazes, you felt as if you've said a cursed name.
"THEY DID WHAT?!" "'THE HELL YA' TALKIN' 'BOUT?!" Both the white-haired demon and the blue-haired one shout in unison, startling the rest exchange program students but not their brothers who had grown accostumed to this kind of outbursts, specially if it's about their favorite human.
"I said MC has gone on a vacation," Lucifer repeated rubbing his forehead in frustration.
"Wha-B-But why?!" Mammon shakes his older brother's shoulders while searching for any sign of this being a joke.
"We... don't really know." Asmodeous answers after waiting for any of the others to reply for a few seconds. His gaze going to the floor in deep thought about his older brother's question. Have they done something wrong? Made them mad? Forgot about a special date? Was that pudding so special to you?
Lucifer, however, seemed the least affected, shaking Mammon off of him to continue with his busy agenda of the day. Burying the unsettling feeling growing in his stomach.
"I feel bad for not telling them the truth." The little angel confesses just as their home's door is closed behind him, letting an exasperated sigh as if being dissapointed with himself.
"But we promised MC we wouldn't tell a soul about this until they were back," Simeon tries to cheer his companion.
"And you know, I have my ways to see if my student is alright wherever they are. So don't worry," Solomon reminded and with a wink, he left to go back to his experiments.
"H-Hi! Is-Is this the Drealinal bar?" you asked to a big shadow standing next to what looked like a long-time abandoned officine.
"And who are you?" A deep voice was heard from that tall silloute, making you feel even smaller.
"I'm-I'm MC, sir." You said, bowing a little to show some respect.
"MC... That name... are you the human who has the seven rulers of hell as their dogs?" you winced at those last words, the heck? shouldn't he respect them?! their comment really ticking something in you.
"I do have pacts with them, so could you answer my question now?" you said not really caring if you're coming of as rude.
"I don't believe you," he said, the shadow coming closer to you in an intimidating way.
"Well, that's not my problem."
"Who do you think you're talking to-"
"Oh come on Lamqua! Let them in already! It's not like you run the place anyway," a femenine voice was heard coming from the inside of the ruined building.
The demon grunted and opened the door for you. You passed as quick as you could, flashing lights and pretty loud music disconcerting you for a moment when you felt a pair of hands on each side of your shoulders.
"Welcome darling! You've arrived at the best time here!!" The same voice shouted through the rythms.
"Haha-uh,- sorry, I-I came here for a special drink..." you tried to explain that you were not really looking for a partner or anything similar.
"Oh-has someone broken your heart?" the young demoness asked while ushering you to one of the counter's stools.
"No-It's not like that, I'm looking for a legendary blend of Demonus I've heard you only brew here..." the silence took place just as those words finished coming out of your mouth. Was this really a forbidden place where you couldn't say anything or what was going on as well when you mentioned the mountain's name to Levi & Mams and now here the drink's name?!
"Haha! They're joking! Keep it going guys!" the demon shouted to suffocate everyone's doubts and start playing their songs again. The environment returning to its livid self. "Listen, I know what ya'r talking 'bout, but do not mention it around anyone but me anymore 'mkay?" she said with a more serious tone, getting closer to you and now directing you towards a wooden door far from the party's room.
"If you want that drink that much, then you better be prepared because you might get involved with the worst demon in this whole place."
Once you reached another metal door, the friendly demon asked you one last time if you're really sure of what you were doing.
"Yes, I need to get that legendary Demonus."
And with that, the door opened and a dark aura quickly flooded all your surroundings. A sinister laugh ringing in your ears and as you realized how pretty much fucked up you were, the girl that was once next to you had dissapeared, now it was only you and whoever behind the smoke courtain.
"It's been one day, six hours and fourty-six minutes since I've last seen MC!!!" Mammon let in a pained tone, stretching his tall figure on the living room's couch.
"Twenty-six seconds too!" Leviathan added, only causing Lucifer's forehead's vein to pop further.
"Could you please not act like that? We all miss MC, but this is too much." Satan chimed in, also discomforted from his brother's behaviour.
"You could put this time to something useful and do your homework now." Lucifer suggested, shoting a killing stare at both of them to shut them.
"It's just that it's so weird they left without really saying that much like on other occasions..." Asmodeous tried to defend his brothers, but also expressed his true feelings about your sudden decision.
"Yas, he's right, normally they'd let any of us know beforehand where and how long are they goin' off!" Mammon shouted in annoyance.
"It was MC's decision, we can't do anything about it than to wait for them to explain, so now shut up." Lucifer finished.
"So you want some of my precious creation I've heard?" you heard another womanlike voice speak, feeling the smoke move all around you, you inferied the presence infront of you was inspecting you.
"Y-Yes!" you said in hopes that they'd stop whatever they were doing.
"Hmm, I don't think you're worth it."
"What-"
"If you want a bottle of my legendary Demonus you shall pass a test." In a snap, all smoke was gone and you saw for the first time the witch behind that so praised beverage you've read about lately.
The demoness infront of you seemed to be in her early thirties, but you knew better than that, she must be at least one and a half thousand years old.
The room was full of chemistry equipment and exploding bubbles could be heard from a little further. In the ceiling there were middle-age weapons to cursed swords and torned magic books. Please don't ever let Satan see those, he'd have a heart attack from them being mistreated — you thought.
"What kind of test?" You asked, getting more cautious as reality dawned on you. This was truly dangerous. You were currently all alone with an uknown, seemingly powerful, witch, in a room full of weapons.
"Hah, now now don't dare to back off!" The witch who had been leading you deeper onto the room suddenly came to a stop. "It's not like you have room for any more option."
"How's MC doing? How're they? Are they alright?" Luke bombarded Solomon who had told his two roommates he's gonna do his hourly check-up on you now.
"Luke, they can't concentrate if you keep on shaking him!" Simeon took the youngest off of the sorcerer to let him continue.
"They've met a witch... they're with her right now..." Solomon fell silent, watching through a cristal projecting a little image from your point of view. He got caught off when he could discern the demoness' face, how long has it been since he last saw her?
Nevertheless—as some memories came to mind—Solomon also remembered her grand power and her ease with magic, making him grow interest for how would it turn out... still, he did not understimate his apprentice.
"Draras..." he muttered to himself, finally moving to a side for Simeon and Luke to watch over MC, both quickly filled with concern for their beloved friend.
"Tha-That's the witch they've been talking about?!" Luke spat out, covering his eyes with his hands as Simeon gave him a comforting palm on the back.
"Yes, and I might add I may or may not have been the one who taught her how to brew in the first place..." he said, recalling the little demon he hung out with when he was first getting involved on the beverage world as one of his many hobbies.
"Brew? you? How'd it go?" Simeon wanted to ask, but knowing his roommate, it probably caused some massive explossion as he added whatever his heart told him to. Instead, he cleared his throat to take out of their thoughts the two people accompanying him.
"Uhm, well, do you think MC'll get over it? Safe?" the oldest angel preferred to ask and get his anxiousness to go away.
"Even if it seems as they're in a difficult environment," Solomon said referring to the laboratory filled with weapons, "Draras's always been on the path to make psychological tests rather than physical ones..."
"I never got to know why, but she was beyond interested on knowing more about people's thoughts and emotions." Solomon shrugged.
"Oh MC, just come back safe please!" Luke cried out.
"So, now you know the rules, you only gotta come back from a short nap, 'mkay?" Draras said as once again smoke poured out and started to engulf you into a drowsiness state.
Before you could muster a word, you'd already fallen to dreamland.
"A human risking so much to defend a demon and an angel... how very interesting."
You felt the first tear fell.
"Can't you go a single day without causing trouble?"
Then the second one...
"All of you, out of the way...! I'm going to tear that human limb from limb...!"
What on literal hell was going on? Lucifer? Luci—
"Let me make one thing clear: I respect my brothers' freedom to do as they wish. However, if I ever sense that you've become a threat to either Diavolo or us... then I will show you absolutely no mercy.
Understood?" a stern so cold you couldn't help but nod out of pure instinct, thinking you'd get to see something, anything else after your one true love being mad at you as he once did.
So this was what the test's about?
As horrid memories came one after another, your eyes already stinging and swollen from reliving them all, you noticed some more casual ones or 'cute' ones you've had with him before coming here got distorted as well, he was being mean in all of them.
Mean to you, whatever you'd do he'd call you out and show you how to do it flawlessly. He'd not take a look back at you as he expressed his disappointement on you, he'd mindlessly say how you're better off in the human realm as you clearly were such a failure, a threat to everyone.
After what felt like years of watching, listening and feeling every single cruel thing Lucifer could have and might have told you, you found yourself as a complete wreck.
Knelt on the floor as your legs stopped working about hours ago, exhaustion filled your form, dried tears stained your cheeks and the only thing that kept you awake in this twisted nightmare was your constant mantra "this did not happen, I love him."
You'd repeat it as you'd feel his words hitting harsher than any physical pain you've been through, his eyes missing the light that'd brighten up any day with him, his embrace that was shown closed for only you as the current menace you symbolyzed for him.
The scenary finally turned black, it was only you and your utterly messed up thoughts climbing you up, surpassing your fatigued mind. They whispered through and through everything they could to make you go insane.
"Now that you've seen that," Draras appeared a few meters infront of you, "tell me one thing." Her figure showed was nothing but imposing. It made you want to crawl into a corner. But there was truly no way to go anywhere to wherever you were in the first place.
"How is it that you still love him?" she continued, walking to finally look you straight in the eyes from above; you would've thought she was mocking you if it wasn't for the truly intrigued look she was giving you.
You didn't know what or how to answer, your mouth felt dry and your eyes were heavy.
Remember what you came for. You came for... What did you come for again?
"See, so useless you can't even remember your purpose." A voice that you were now so familiar with spoke back.
You lowered your head in surrender, why couldn't you say it? What did ever kept you from admitting it? Pride? Like him?
"I came here because I love him, and I love him because of him and only him, his innate strength, the fearless way he says things but still giving thought to every word to do not get it wrong, his caring nature..." you finally admitted, you felt yourself being flooded with the immense love you had for him, for Lucifer.
Lucifer Morningstar.
"I love him." You added for the last time, now standing up face to face with Draras, who listened intently and watched fascinated as you explained everything.
"I can only wish for you to enjoy yourselves dear, and hope someday I'll get to meet someone like you." She replied, crystaline-eyed with her hands to her heart, showing you a kind smile.
With that, everything vanished, you sucked a big breath before recognizing your whereabouts as the laboratory you first entered to.
Draras was looking for something inside a hallway in the room, which was covered in bottle racks. The pictures of the Legendary Demonus you've only watched online came to your mind and you felt as if you'd burst of how proud you felt for yourself in that moment, this, immediately leading you to think about Lucifer's reaction once you show him what you got.
"Here, only the best of the best," she handed you a translucent, pear-shaped bottle, a lilac, thick beverage swirling in it.
"Thank you so much Draras," you said taking it with great care, starting your way back home.
"They made it!" Solomon exclaimed from his room as he watched once again through his cristal, your point of view indicating you were out of the bar already, bottle on hand.
Luke and Simeon let out a relieved sigh, hugging themselves feeling happy for you.
"It's been three days, eight hours with four minutes..." Mammon groaned, his defeated form laying all over the same couch he first started counting on.
"And eleven seconds..." Leviathan let out, spraid on the floor with his game's console long forgotten at his right side.
"And you didn't even spared your books a single glance..." Satan said in frustration.
There was this tension hanging in the air ever since Lucifer broke the news of you being gone. None of the brothers acted as their usual self.
Even if Satan showed himself as discontented with his brothers, he kept thinking if there could be a bad reason why you'd leave without saying anything at all.
Lucifer kept doing his night patrols and would watch his brothers' demeanour get worse. Along his, that is. It wasn't unheard of you to go on a vacation to the human world from time to time to see your family now that the exchange program was done for the first year.
What it was unheard of was you wanting some other brother to deliver the news to everyone, this was something you'd taken very serious since you knew how those brothers get even without a 'goodnight' from you every night.
So of course this was new for all of them, and they were not taking it very well for the time being.
After some minutes of silence except for Beel's stomach growling and utensils being used by him cooking something for dinner, some knocks were heard on the HoL's front door.
"Are ya' waitin' for somethin'?" Mammon asked as he twisted his body to try and get a glimpse of who or what might be bothering at this hours from the windows.
"No, my cosmetic's delivery won't arrive until tomorrow." Asmo chimed in, bringing his hand under his chin as if in deep thought.
"We're only waiting for MC—" Leviathan said in realization.
Everyone's eyes were on him and before he could say anything else, the brothers who were awake and not cooking ran up to the door and slammed it open; as expected, revealing an MC a little messy, with a backpack that looked as if it was dragged a few miles and a very odd-looking bottle on their arms secured.
"H-Hi everyone! I'm back!" you exclaimed, a bit embarrassed now that you got time to think about your appearance, nevertheless, you were welcomed warmly and quickly taken care of by your seven roommates demons.
Eventually, you found yourself surrounded by their tangled bodies trying to fit in your single bed, restless.
You cautiosly made your way out of pile of people to fetch something to drink, preferably a coffee, you thought.
As you arrived to the kitchen, you noticed the bottle of Demonus you brought, you've totally forgotten about it after being embraced by the brothers so kindly.
A smile came to your face and as you were about to place it somewhere safer than the counter it currently was on, you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist, a chin rest on your shoulders and breath hit your neck.
"Just where on hell did you go?" Lucifer asked, mindless of his bold action and mostly intrigued about your little trip.
"Hmm, do you know about this drink?" you replied, turning a little for him to get a better look at it. His eyes widened as he read the bottle's label.
"MC, don't tell me you went to something like the black market to get that—" an agitated look appeared on him.
You laughed at his reaction, "No, of course not, I-I," suddenly the words got caught up in your throat. You were proud about your achievement just a few hours ago, why couldn't you tell him?
Flashes of the nightmare you had to go through flooded your mind and it came difficult to keep your eyes open due to the pain forming in your head.
Lucifer noticed and ushered you to sit down, settling the drink somewhere else as he took care of you.
"I went to the Drealinal bar and encounter a witch named Draras," you barely mentioned before feeling the need to hold your forehead with one hand.
"Did you get hurt?" Lucifer's voice got lower and a cold glance met your eyes, just like what Draras showed you—
"What—no, I'm fine, I—I brought the Demonus for you," you presumed forcing a small smile to reassure him, your other hand found place on top of his other and moments later your smile reached your eyes genuinely.
It was this little moments of connection and intimacy you had with him, with Lucifer, that gave you the comfort and peace you need to go from storm to storm, this were your happy and calm moments with him that you had learnt to enjoy so much.
"I have to say it tastes delicious even if it doesn't affect me." You declared as you took another sip from a glass with the liquid that took you so long to find, your beloved taking from his own cup on the chair next to yours while listening to some cursed records of his, on the cozy environment that brought his room.
"It's exquisite indeed," he let out in a grunt as he felt every fiber of himself melt along the burning sensation he got in his throat for drinking for Lord knows how long now.
"I'm so glad you liked it," you remarked smiling fondly at him, who became speechless admiring your happy self.
He got up, leaving his glass of Demonus and making his way towards you, next kneeling infront of you and taking your unoccupied hand with his, planting a small his on the back of it.
Then getting closer to you taking advantage of his height, it was not that difficult to reach your face, surprising you.
"I love you... I love you so much," he confessed, never letting you out of sight, as if searching your love for him in your eyes as well, because right now, he knew you could see his.
The best method you found to express it rather than words was the way your lips found his in what started as a tender and soft kiss, slowly turning into a more passionate and love-filled one.
As you separated, Lucifer opened again his eyes, admiring you once again. It certainly wasn't always for something like this to happen, but it was surely was something you loved about him the most.
"I love you too."
𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚢: Mitsua © (𝙲𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜) my navigation!
#mitsua#mitsuawritings#mitsuawrites#obey me#x reader#shall we date obey me#obey me#obey me!#obey me shall we date#obey me boys#obey me angst#obey me brothers#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me scenarios#obey me x mc#obey me x reader#lucifer fluff#lucifer x reader#lucifer#om lucifer#lucifer angst#lucifer morningstar#omswd#om! x reader#om! lucifer#om! shall we date#om#om! swd#fluff
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That was so perfect???? Love love love it! Your writing is so immersing, and the way you write kobas personality is nearly identical to the movies. You got me bitting at the bars of my sanity, lol.
But could you imagine if the human accidentally starts courting koba first without realizing it. Bringing him pelts they hunted for him because he doesn't socialize or sleep with the other apes and the human is worried he'd get cold, or they willingly leave the others during communal eating and bringing more food because koba isn't there and the human wanted to eat with him/ don't want him to be alone.
Ceaser stops the human to ask what they are doing and they go , "oh its for koba 🤗" and he dies & laugh inside knowing what it looks like to an ape what the human is doing, but gives the ape version of a blessing anyways. Because dammit it if this is what it takes to get koba to chill tf out against humanity then fine... the human thinks Ceaser is just wishing them luck because its koba lol
Like you said, he gets injured or gets so sick that the human abandons their own nest to sleep on the ground beside his to make sure hes ok and breathing. I got so much koba brainrot. Please forgive my word splurge. you're the first person to just understand, lol. And please dont burn yourself out and remember to take care of yourself first, im just rambling from excitement.
-💚 anon
AHHH anon you are actually so very sweet! i was hoping you'd enjoy my writing, always wanted to start writing stuff on Tumblr haha- I actually love the idea presented that Reader just doesn't know their courting Koba, and he won't say anything lmaooo- Caesar would totally notice and would give bombastic side eye but he'd actually be fine with it, banking on the fact this could help Koba slowly heal from his mental wounds and physical wounds he has from humanity!
Reader brings him pelts from hunting trips, when he doesn't eat with the community and after asking Caesar all about it he tells them that Koba has just never really sat with the other apes to eat, so Reader just starts bringing food to Koba, I feel like the first time they do that Koba throws the food at them to get them to go away, to leave him alone, but they just keep coming back to give him food and he just gets used to it over time, when it comes out between them, when Koba actually finally asks why Reader sits with him to eat all the time instead of with Caesar and the rest of the community, Reader just tells him "I don't like that you are alone all the time...I think you just need a friend" and Koba is like taken aback by that revelation, that Reader wants to be his friend, how upset they may have been in the moment as well would change something ever so slightly between them, and he allows them to take their meals with him all the time and perhaps one time they sit with the community to eat, but they're still next to each other, still chatting between themselves, even sharing a joke or two, much to the shock of the other apes lmaooo-
And reader just starts to stay more and more with Koba each night, the first time they stayed in Koba's nest with him is because he's always seen them staying on the ground and maybe it's a cold night, and he just wraps his arms around Reader, easily picking them up and letting them sleep in his nest with him, like Reader wakes up in the morning to Koba slowly playing with their hair, MY HEARTTTTT- I just love the idea of Koba playing with Readers hair omlllll
And thank you sm, I promise I won't burn myself out, I'm just having so much fun with this rn! <333
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Off Limits Part 2
Pairing: fem! y/n X Bonten Ran, y/n's skin/ hair color and texture not specified
Summary: After your brother catches you with Ran, whom he forbid you to date, things get complicated. This is a follow up to this fic. (sorry this took me five million years)
Word count: 5.5k
Warnings: Abduction, Hanma being a creep, guns/shootings (reader is unharmed), blood mentioned, oral male receiving, p in v sex, cream pie, not proof read
The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. You held the blankets firmly up to your chin. Not just to cover your nakedness, but as a shield of sorts to protect you from whatever was about to go down. Your body was taught with anxiety, but Ran appeared calm and cool. Almost smug as he slipped his boxers back on.
"Get out of my fucking house," Mikey snapped, his voice so icy it sent a chill down your spine.
Ran buckled up his pants, taking his time. "Can't we discuss this like civi-" BANG!
The sudden firing of the gun made you yelp. The bullet was buried into your wall, mere inches away from Ran's head. Mikey was a hell of a shot; if he wanted to hit Ran, especially this close up, he would have. That was a warning. If Ran was scared, he didn't show it. In fact, he appeared bemused. If you were so rattled, you would have registered how his unflappable attitude was hot.
"I'm not fucking kidding Haitani. Next one goes in your head," Mikey said, his eyes filled with pure hatred. "Now get out."
As much fun as this was for Ran, even he knew when to not push things further. Mikey didn't bluff and he was certainly pissed enough to make good on his promise to kill him. Ran through his hands up innocently, before picking up the rest of his clothes and making his way towards the door. Mikey's eyes followed him carefully with each step.
Once he disappeared into the hallway, his eyes flicked over to you for the first time since he busted in. The anger made your stomach flipped. "Get dressed. We are going to talk once I'm done with him." He slammed your door shut before you could reply. Not that you had anything to say; the whole situation left your head spinning. What did he mean by when I'm done with him? He couldn't really kill Ran, could he? Your stomach churned with anxiety as you quickly redressed. Your ears were straining for the sound of a gunshot, or anything that might indicate what Mikey was doing with Ran. All you heard was another door slam and angry footsteps return to your door.
"Are you dressed?" Mikey asked. Not even the door could filter out the anger in his voice. Ugh, you were in for it.
"Yes," you mumbled. Your eyes fell sheepishly as he swung it open. You were embarrassed your brother had walked in on you, but who it was with made everything so much worse. Mikey just stood silently for a few minutes, the anger rolling off of him. It made you uneasy; you'd rather him just yell at you and get it over with.
"Really y/n? Ran? In my fucking house?" He seethed.
"Did you kill him?" you could helped but ask.
"Are you seriously worried about that right now?" Mikey asked. When he saw you were he continued, annoyed, "No I didn't fucking kill him. Not yet anyways."
"Mikey please you can't-"
"I can do whatever I want," Mikey cut you off. "He's my employee and I gave him explicit rules. He knew what he was risking." Mikey saw how you balked. "Don't tell me you're stupid enough to be in love with him."
You bristled at his words. You weren't in love with him, but you did really like him and you didn't like that Mikey thought he had the right to dictate who you could be with. "I'm not stupid," you snapped. "And I'm not one of your employees. I can do what I want. Who I want." You tossed the last line in for the sole purpose of pissing Mikey off, which worked.
"You think he gives a fuck about you?" Mikey questioned. "You're just a game to him. He wants to get at me and you're the easiest way to do that. Really fucking easy, apparently."
Your cheeks burned at Mikey's insult. "So you're saying I'm a slut?"
"I'm saying you fell into his little trap. You don't know him like I do, y/n. He's a piece of shit and doesn't care about anyone but himself. He's gonna take what he wants from you and toss you aside. You're more naive than I thought if you believe any different," Mikey replied.
His words stung, but you bit back your tears. Crying right now would not help your case. "Now you're just being an asshole," you grumbled, "I'm an adult, Mikey, I can handle myself."
Mikey softened, but only slightly. He loved you and didn't want to hurt you, but he knew there was no other way to get it through your head. "I'm just trying to protect you. I've kept you away from my lifestyle for so long to avoid shit like this. But now you don't realize the seriousness of this. Even if Ran was a saint," Mikey paused, his lips curling like he tasted something bad. "I wouldn't want you with him if he was in this line of work. It's too dangerous for you to be connected to this."
Despite what your brother thought, you weren't naive. Though he kept you away from his work, you had a pretty good idea of what it entailed. Though you may not know in detail, you knew that it would be a dangerous to be connected to it in anyway. However, you couldn't get yourself to care when you thought of Ran. You wanted to be with him. Maybe he was playing you, but you wanted to figure that out for yourself and not because your older brother forbid it.
"Please just don't kill him," you said. "I don't want that on my conscious." You played at Mikey's emotions, knowing he wouldn't want to put that burden on you.
Mikey scowled a bit, but replied, "I will think about it. But you are to never see him again, understand? If I catch you with him there will be no second thoughts. I will kill him." You grumbled that you understood and Mikey finally left you alone.
Mikey's head pounded as he returned to his room. He wasn't surprised that Ran had gotten to you, but he was surprised that he had the fucking balls to do it in his own home. He just couldn't help but find knew ways to be a sleazy piece of shit.
He pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to figure out what to do next. As much satisfaction as it would give him to kill Ran, realistically it was a bad idea. Rindou would be beyond pissed and he was sure he would defect to the rival gang, taking Bonten's secrets with him. With you already in danger, he couldn't risk more information about you getting out. Killing both of them wasn't a great option, either. He couldn't be down two men at a time like this. Especially when he, begrudgingly, had to admit they were good at what they did. Firing them put him in the same predicament, so he had no choice but to keep them. He would not, however, let Ran get off easy.
***
The next week Mikey practically had you on house arrest. He left only a handful of times for a few hours, but it was pretty clear you were expected to stay put and behave. Not that you had many options, Mikey had taken your phone and blocked Ran on everything. You didn't bother fighting it, Mikey was as stubborn as they come. Plus, you knew the more your fought it the less he would trust you and longer you'd be stuck at home.
Finally, a little over a week later Mikey said you were returning to work with him. There were, of course, some new rules. You were not allowed to be one on one with any of the men anymore, nor were you allowed to be with Ran at all.
Despite Mikey's attempts to keep you from Ran it was a small office and you saw him in passing the first day back. You couldn't help but gasp when you saw him. He had a black eye and a slip lip, which you knew were the work of your brother. You shared only the briefest eye contact as you passed, but it was enough to make your stomach flip. Ran kept his face unreadable, though, and it was killing you to not know what he was thinking. Had he decided you weren't worth the trouble? Did he really just get what he wanted from you and now had no interest? The uncertainty ate at you.
The first few days were awkward to say the least. You knew between the changes Mikey made and his obvious beating up of Ran the guys had put 2 and 2 together. No said anything directly to you about it, fearing the wrath of Mikey, but you felt the curious stares, heard the stifled snickers between members. You hated being alone with Sanzu the most. He was the only one your brother allowed to be alone with you, as he trusted him the most. He didn't even try to cover the judgement in his eyes.
Today, however, Rindou was with him which only made it marginally less awkward. Mikey had been keeping Rindou at a distance as well, considering his closeness to Ran, but he'd been paired up to watch you a few times. You didn't dare ask him anything outright, but you tried to send him looks, hoping he'd pick up on your desperate pleas for information. So far, he seemed not to notice, or at least not acknowledge them.
Until today. "Shit, Mikey needs to talk to me," Sanzu said looking at his phone. "Seems important."
"Oh yeah?" Rindou asked in a voice that indicated he wasn't all that interested.
"I think he's made some progress on finding the guys that were looking for her," Sanzu responded. You hated how he referred to you like you weren't there.
"You do realize I can hear you, right?" you grumbled, as you kneaded dough. Mikey thankfully was letting you bake still. You would have gone crazy without something to keep you busy. Rindou's lips twitched.
"Funny, Mikey told me you weren't a very good listener," Sanzu commented. It was the closed anyone had gotten to referencing what happened between you and Ran. You rolled your eyes, not wanting to get into it with him. "Keep your eyes on her, Rindou. I'll send someone down to help you while I'm gone."
Rindou yawned. "I think I can manage." Your mind raced as Sanzu left the room. This was the best chance you had to get information on Ran or have a messaged passed to him. But someone could walk in at any moment. What if Sanzu came back for something? He would certainly rat on you. You weren't sure about the other guys, but you couldn't take the risk. Rindou was the only person you could potentially trust.
"Y/n," Rindou's voice broke the silence. Your head whipped up, meeting his calm, cool gaze. He looked like Ran in that way. "I would check the cake tins before you leave today."
"Oh... okay," was all you could think you reply. You knew he was trying to tell you something, but you weren't sure what. You didn't even have a chance to ask, as Takeomi entered the kitchen.
The rest of the day dragged as you were dying to look at the cake pans. Takeomi and Mochi were watching you now, though they weren't paying much attention. "Mikey said it's time to go," Takeomi said, barely looking up from his phone.
"Okay, I just have to put some stuff away," you replied, which earned a grunt in acknowledgement. You scurried over to the cabinet you kept all the baking tins. Your heart hammered in your ears as you dug out the cake pan, finding a disposable phone. You bit back a gasp, quickly slipping the phone in your pocket before with of Mikey's underlings could notice.
You popped up, a little pep in your step. "I'm ready to go!"
That evening you tried to keep calm and stick to your normal routine. It wasn't easy, as you were dying to look at the phone that was left for you. It practically felt like it was burning a hole through your pocket. You knew your brother was incredibly observant, so you couldn't give him a reason to be suspicious.
"Sanzu is coming over soon," Mikey announced. That's right, its Thursday. This was perfect timing, Mikey would be distracted by his drinking with Sanzu.
"I'm gonna head to my room then. Have a good night," you replied. Mikey nodded, knowing you preferred to keep to yourself whenever Sanzu came over. The second your door closed, the phone was in your hand. There was a singular message from an unsaved number that read: it's me, text me when you get this. You quickly sent out a hello. Ran responded almost instantly.
Ran: Miss you, can we meet tonight?
You were instantly flooded with relief knowing that he wasn't ditching you.
You: How?
Ran: do you trust me?
You: of course
The two of you created a plan. You would wait for Sanzu to leave the house, wait another hour to ensure Mikey was asleep, then sneak out to see Ran. Ran would be waiting in his car a few blocks away to pick you up. It would be risky, if Mikey caught you sneaking out you and Ran would both be dead. But it was absolutely worth the risk.
It felt like forever, but an hour finally passed after Sanzu left for the night. It was about 1am when you texted Ran you were heading out. Your heart thudded in your ears as you tiptoed from your room to the front door. You eyes never left the hallway that led to Mikey's room, half expecting him to appear asking what the hell you were up to. However, you slipped out the door without issue.
When you finally got to the street, you were practically skipping you were so giddy. You were a few blocks away from where Ran instructed you to meet him, when you saw a man walking towards you. At first you thought it was Ran. Your brows turned in confusion. He had said to meet him in is his car, right? You pulled up the messages, confirming that was the case.
Your eyes flicked back up to the man approaching you and you felt your heart leap. It was one of the men who had been looking for you that day in the bakery. Your legs felt like jelly. Was this some crazy coincidence? Did he even recognize you? You knew running would bring too much attention to yourself. There was still enough distance that if you walked quickly, and prayed this just a freak coincidence, you could get back to Mikey's unscathed.
The second you turned around, your stomach dropped. Coming up the other direction was the other man who had been looking for you. He had a sinister smile on his face that sent a shiver down your spine. You were completely trapped. You felt the phone buzz in your hand, it was Ran asking where you were. Without thinking, you hit call.
"Hey what-"
"Help me!" you yelled into the phone. You were running across the street now, trying to get distance from the two men.
"What, y/n? What's happening?" Ran asked frantically.
You were about to answer when two strong arms wrapped around you. You let out a scream. "They've got me! It's them!" you cried. You didn't get a chance to respond, as a blonde with glasses ripped the phone out of your hand and crushed it on the ground under his boot.
"You won't be needing that," he said coldly. "Get on with it Hanma." Before you could let out another scream, there was a cloth over your face. You choked on a chemically-scent before everything faded to black.
***
The first thing you noticed when regaining consciousness was the pounding in your head. It took your mind a few second to catch up to reality, your body stiffening as the events that preceded your loss of consciousness flooded back. You tried to move, but quickly realized you were tied firmly to a beam in some sort of industrial warehouse.
"Oh, you're up!" a voice cheerily announced, as if this was some friendly gathering. A lanky man with brown and blonde streaked hair appeared before you, his golden eyes alight with excitement. The look made your stomach churn.
"W-what do you want?" you stammered, your heart thudding in your chest. You were trying to stay calm, knowing that you would need your wits about you for a chance to escape. But looking at the man standing in front of you, you didn't like your odds.
"Aw don't look so scared sweetheart," the man replied, "We are going to have fun together." He knelt down in front of you, at your eye level. You tried to shrink away as he reached for you, but there was nowhere for you to go. He took your chin in his hand, grinning. "You're a pretty thing, I see why your brother tried to keep you hidden."
"You're wasting our time, Hanma," sighed the blonde with the glassed. You startled at his voice, not noticing that he had been sitting a few yards away. "We should get moving to another location. She's our most valuable tool to use against Mikey."
"You're so boring, Kisaki," Hanma yawned. "Mikey's probably out looking for her now. It's safe to keep her hidden here and enjoy our time together." He flashed you a faux smile, tucking hair behind your ear. You bit back a gag.
Kisaki sighed. "Whatever, just make sure you're 'fun' includes getting some information out of her. And keeping her fucking quiet." Kisaki turned his attention to his phone, knowing there was no point in arguing with Hanma when he got like this. It would be better to let him get it out of his system.
"Well, aren't we lucky then," Hanma smiled. He pulled a gun out of his waist band, making your heart start, but he placed on the floor next to you. He didn't miss the fear that flashed in your eyes. "Oh, don't worry y/n, I don't plan to use that on you. As long as you behave, that is." You hated that he knew your name, it made you wonder what more about you did he know.
"You will be good for me, yeah?" You nodded, but it wasn't enough. "I except a response when I speak to you," Hanma stated.
"Y-yes," you managed, which returned the smile to his face.
"Good. Now we are going to play a fun little game," Hanma began, "I am going to ask you a question and you will answer honestly. If you refuse to answer or lie to me, I will remove a piece of clothing. I hope you won't end up naked, but that's up to you." Hanma was grinning like that was exactly what he was hoping for you. You had a sick feeling that it didn't matter how you answered, that would be the end the result.
Hanma was staring at you, waiting for a response. "Okay," you all you could bring yourself to say.
"Great! Let's start easy. Are you a virgin?"
You blinked. You were expected questions about Mikey or Bonten, not something as trivial as that. You felt like you were playing some stupid high school game of 20 questions, but you knew this game was not so innocent. "No," you replied honestly.
"With a face like that, I didn't think so. But it would have been fun to be your first," Hanma sighed. "Now wh-"
"Wait! Shouldn't I get a chance to ask you things if we are both playing?" You asked. You were trying to stall, anything that would delay the inevitable end to this.
"Sorry sweetheart, that's not how this game works. You'll have to figure out a different way to get me out of my clothes," Hanma grinned. If you weren't so scared you'd have rolled your eyes. "Next question, where is Bonten's headquarters?"
"I don't know," You lied.
Hanma's eyes narrowed. "Guess you won't be needing your pants."
"I'm not lying!" You insisted, "Mikey never took me. He didn't want me to know where it was."
"You're not a good liar," Hanma replied, sliding your pants down your hips. Your cheeks burned red as he looked at the black lacy underwear you had put on for Ran. "Pretty," he grinned with a sinister glint. "Where does Bonten keep their weapons stash?"
"I have no idea," you answered honestly.
Hanma sighed, "You're making this harder than it has it be." He pulled a knife out from a holster at his ankle.
"I swear I don't know, please!" you begged. Hanma made a quick slash, cutting open your shirt. He just barely missed cutting your skin.
"If you're going to lie to me, maybe I should just cut to the fun part," Hanma said, the knife toying with the strap of your bra.
You shuddered, feeling desperate. "Please-"
Your pleas were cut off by a door slamming open. Relief washed over you as your saw Ran rushing in with murder in his eyes. Hanma and Kisaki sprung up like cats, brandishing their weapons. Kiskaki let out a shot, which made you yelp, but Ran dodged it, taking cover behind a cinderblock beam. Curiously, he fired his gun into the air twice. When the rest of Bonten burst through the door, you realize it was a signal.
Hanma and Kisaki shot at the other member as they tried to make a retreat without getting hit themselves. They made their way to towards you, hoping the members would be less likely to fire at them with you in the potential shot range. They were right, as Mikey called for his subordinates to stop firing.
You thought they were both going to run, but Hanma turned to you, his gun raise. It happened too fast for a scream to even escape you, but your eyes closed and your whole body tensed in anticipation.
BANG!
You cried out, waiting for the pain to hit you... but it never did. When you opened your eyes, Ran was in front of you, gripping his shoulder. Blood spilled between his fingers. It took your brain a minute to catch up and realize he had jumped in front of the bullet for you.
"Ran!" you screamed, thrashing furiously against the ropes the bind you. Hanma was rushing past both of you. Mikey sent Sanzu, Mochi, and Takeomi after them.
"I'm okay, y/n," Ran said, plastering a soothing smile on his face. He crouched next to you, pulling your pants back up your body. He winced as he moved the arm that was shot.
"You're not okay! You were shot!"
"It's just a little scratch," he replied, but his voice was off. He lost a decent amount of blood, making it hard for him to undo the ties around you.
"I'll take it from here," Mikey stepped in. "Rindou, take Ran to be taken care of." Rindou nodded, helping Ran up.
"Don't worry about me, y/n, I'll be okay. I promise," Ran said. You wanted so badly to believe it, but you were scared for him. You've never seen anyone get shot before.
"Y/n are you okay?" Mikey asked. He worked the knots out quickly and you collapsed into your brother, holding him tightly as you cried. "I'm so sorry this happened, but I'm going to take care of this. I will burn their whole fucking gang to the ground, I promise." He slid his jacket over your shoulders, proving you some extra coverage. "Did they hurt you?"
"No, not physically. I was knocked out by something and woke up here," you explained, still shaking.
"Okay, let's get home, then." He helped you up.
"What about Ran? Is he going to be okay?"
"He will be fine, we have a nurse on our payroll to take care of this sort of thing," Mikey explained. You felt a little better knowing he would be taken care of by a professional. Mikey led you to a car where Koko was behind the wheel. You went to HQ instead of Mikey's house, Mikey explaining that HQ was better hidden and better protected at the moment.
Mikey ushered you into one of the bedrooms kept at HQ for when members needed to stay onsite. You wanted to see Ran, but you were afraid to push it. You knew how Mikey felt about you being with Ran and you knew he was going to figure out, if he hadn't already, what you were doing out of of the house. You were terrified Mikey was going to blame Ran for this and what he would do to him because of that
Mikey mistook the fear on your face. "Don't worry y/n, you're safe now. One of my men will be posted outside your door all night. I promise this scum bags will be dealt with. Just try to get some rest, okay?"
"I will," you nodded. Mikey told you to call him if you needed anything at all, before stepping out of the room. You didn't think it would be possible for you to fall asleep, but the exhaustion of the nights events caught up to you. You feel into a fitful, dreamless sleep.
When you woke you cleaned yourself up in the bathroom connected to your room. You were still processing everything that happened, but you did feel calm enough at the moment, thanks to the safety of HQ. You were thinking about what you would say to Mikey about this situation when he knocked at the door.
"How are you feeling?" he asked. He had bags under his eyes, like he hadn't slept at all. You immediately felt bad for creating this mess for him.
"I'm good all things considered," you replied.
"We should talk about what happened."
Your stomach dropped. "Okay, sure."
"I know you were going to see Ran."
"Mikey I'm sorry I-"
Mikey held up his hand, silencing you. "Listen, it was stupid and risky what you did. But if I hadn't given you such a hard time, you wouldn't have done it."
"Mikey, it's not your fault," you replied.
"I know, but still. I was trying to protect you and it backfired," Mikey said, "I don't regret what I said about being involved with someone in my line of work, but I should have trusted you as my sister and at least talked to you about it."
"It's okay Mikey, I know you were just trying to protect me," you replied, "Even if you were being an ass about it." You could help but toss that in, glad it had the desired affect of making Mikey crack a smile.
"I obviously still have my reservations about you being with Ran, but he took a bullet for you. For that I will forever be grateful to him. I have to believe he is going to try to treat you well," Mikey said. You felt a rush of love for your brother. You knew this wasn't easy for him to say and you appreciated him giving it a chance.
You wrapped your arms around your brother, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, that means a lot," you said.
"Of course," Mikey replied, patting your back. "I can take you to his room, if you'd like." You nodded and Mikey led you down the hall. Ran was inside laying in bed shirtless, but his shoulder was wrapped in bandages. All things considered, he looked good.
"Y/n," he smiled when he saw you. You couldn't help yourself, you ran to his side. You wanted to hug him, but weren't sure if you could so you gently squeezed his uninjured arm.
"Are you okay?" you asked, searching his body for any signs of injury you missed.
Ran nodded. "I'm okay. It's you I'm worried about. Are you hurt?"
"I'm not, I promise." Mikey cleared his throat and you both turned to him. You instinctively let go of Ran, though Mikey wasn't keep you from him any longer.
"I'm glad you're okay, Ran," Mikey began, "I will be forever indebted to you for saving y/n's life... And I've decided I want you to be happy together, if that's what y/n wants." The last part sounded hard for him to get out, but it made you appreciate him even more. Your brother was tough, but at the end of the day he just wanted you to be happy.
"Thank you, sir, I will take good care of her," Ran replied.
"You better, Haitani, because if you don't I will deal with you. And I'm a much better shot than Hanma," Mikey replied, only half joking. But the message was crystal clear and Ran nodded in understanding. "Speaking off, I'm heading out to hunt that bastard down with the rest of the gang. You take care of her while I'm gone."
With that, you and Ran were alone. All the emotions you had been keeping locked started to bubble up.
"What's wrong angel?" Ran asked seeing the change in your face. He patted the spot next to him on the bed, prompting you to sit.
"You saved my life," you replied, "And you almost died in the process."
"It would take a lot more than that to kill me," Ran said with a grin, "Don't worry about it, okay? I would do it again without a second thought." His thumb circled your thigh gently as he spoke, soothing you.
"Okay, but I have to make it up to you," you replied.
Ran perked up, "Oh? And how would you do that?"
You climbed on top of him, straddling his lap. "I'd rather show you, if you're up for it."
"There's literally nothing I would want more." Ran tried to sit up, you to pushed him back down, shaking your head.
"No, I'm taking care of you." You leaned in, pressing your lips to his. His hands slid around your waist comfortably as your bodies were flush against each other. Your hands tangled in his hair, deepening the kiss as your desire quickly rose for him. Your rocked your hips against his, feeling him start to harder in response to your touch.
You kissed down his jaw, his neck, his chest, stopping just above the waistline of his sweats. You slid them off him, revealing his hard on. Your eyes flicked up to his as you licked up the length of him.
"Fuck pretty girl, you're gonna kill me," Ran groaned. You glowed at his praise, taking him into your mouth. You hollowed out your cheeks as your bobbed your head on him. Ran's hands found your hair, gripping it at the root as your sucked him off. Your tongue swirled over his tip, teasing the sensitive spot.
"Shit you gotta stop that or I'm not gonna be able to cum inside that pretty pussy of yours," Ran breathed. Your lips made a popping sound as you pulled yourself off him. You were more than eager to oblige, your pussy throbbing at his words. You stripped yourself under Ran's hungry gaze. "So fucking pretty," he mused, running his hands up and down your naked body.
Normally you'd feel shy, but his gaze made you more confident. You took the base of him in your hands, sliding his tip through your wetness and teasing him at your entrance. Ran wriggled impatiently.
"C'mon baby don't tease me. I took a bullet for you," Ran complained.
"You trying to guilt me into fucking you?" you laughed.
Ran grinned. "Only if it's working." And it was, if only to sate your own needs. You slid down on him, a low moan escaping you as you stretch around him. Ran's fingers dug into you as you rolled your hips. He let out loan groans watching himself slide in and your of cunt.
"God I missed this," you sighed, feeling him press into the deepest spots inside you. Your hips were moving faster now, chasing the euphoric release that was building in your lower stomach.
"Missed you too, baby," Ran replied, "Missed feeling this press pussy squeezing me." His thumb found your clit, rubbing circles over the sensitive spot. Your head fell back as the building you felt swelled and snapped, sending pleasure surging through your body.
"Fuck, Ran," You whined, continuing to fuck him through you high.
"So good, y/n, shit," Ran's hips flexed up as he released into you, his warm cum filling you. You both continued to grind into each other until you were fully spent. You collapsed on top of him, catching your breath. "Shit I might try to get shot more if these is what I get after."
You smacked his chest lightly. "If you promise me to never get shot again, you can have that whenever you want."
Ran grinned, "Promise."
#ran haitani smut#ran haitani x reader#tokyo revengers fanfiction#tokyo revengers headcanons#tokyo revengers hcs#tokyo revengers smut
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okay, so i mean this as kindly as possible, but: a quick rundown on some ask etiquette on tumblr.
the tl;dr here is: if it can be your own post... maybe make your own post?
the slightly longer version is: i don't have the energy to read a lot of stuff, and ultimately, this is my blog, so i'll only post stuff if i read it, either agree with it or can disagree in a polite way, and have some response to make to it that's better than 'cool'. additionally, i have no ability to contact anon askers. therefore, if you send me something that i don't have the energy to read, don't want to post, don't have a good response to, or just vaguely don't agree with, it won't get posted, and you won't know why it didn't get posted.
and the thing is, that's fine, but if you spent more than like, thirty seconds on it... you should probably go ahead and make your own post! if it is For Me for some reason, you can tag me in it! (fanart/fic/etc is a good example of this.) you don't run the risk of me not answering, because it will be your own post, and you can use that post to show it to the world!
if it's something that requires my input or is participating in a conversation with me - well, that's different! that can't be it's own post, because it's either something you want me to respond to or something that is in response to me. i get plenty of asks that can't be their own post. additionally, if it's short/didn't take any effort, cool, send it to me if you want my input! i may or may not respond, but then you and i don't have to feel bad about losing your thing, because it didn't take much effort!
but if you're sending an ask to my ask box (or anyone's ask box) and you really want the world to see it, the best way may be to make your own post instead.
#TO BE CLEAR. this is not about anyone in particular#this is about a particular trend in my ask box#similarly: i am neither a headcanons blog nor a confessions blog#although those often trouble me less because like. you didn't put so much effort in#but sometimes people send me their detailed theories that i don't really agree on#or their long headcanons#or entire art or fic#and i just go. well i don't know what to do with this. i don't want to post it really#but if i don't their work will never be seen.#and do you know what the solution to this is? if they make their own post!#anyway if you're worried if this is about you. i promise. it's not#continue sending asks as usual. i love asks#i just. need to put this out in the world somewhere. that sometimes. people should make their own post.
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"Well i think we should rape cuntboys and I'm tired of pretending otherwise" where the reblog chain went OP->user with baeddel in their name->OP again->person I follow on my dash completely untagged
well, that's lovely
#transandrophobia#like I doubt they're just non-transandrophobic kinksters with a transandrophobia kink because of the baeddel part#and because this was untagged#like i don't actually care one bit about actually consensual kink even on a public blog#but the red flags are CRIMSON#anyway someone's probably gonna accuse me of transm/isogyny for 'demonizing a transfem for her kinks'#so reminder that I am transfem. I am also transmasc. I am intersex and transneutral as well#I am 'TMA' by any definition of that bullshit dichotomy#demanding to know what dyadic sex my current or birth genitals were closest to is both transphobic and intersexist#and demanding to know a transfems infant genitalia to believe her about experiencing trans/misogyny is transmisogy/nistic + transintermisic#love that I have to censor the name for a kind of bigotry I actually experience to avoid harassment#like I'm doing so from experience#anyway I've dealt with both plus intersexism and exorsexism for years now#so go be transphobic somewhere else if you're mad about anything I've said#also if you are a non-transandrophobe who simply has kinks surrounding dehumanization/bigotry#you're fine I love you and I'm offering you virtual affection at a level you are comfy with#and if you have OCD and worry about being bigoted of course checking in with yourself is good but if you need support/reassurance I'm here#this is literally only about blatant bigots I promise
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Tuvok’s intake of breath/slight straightening of posture when Janeway says she spoke to his family before she left....................................................I can’t speak
#yes this is important enough to merit its own post <- favortism#Janeway & Tuvok are so <3#you know that fanfiction trope where Kirk is like 'Spock please - we're in private. No need with this Captain stuff' ?#they are the COMPLETE opposite HEHEHE#Janeway (to her friend of twenty years): Hello Mr. Tuvok. / Tuvok: Hello Captain v_v <- just got done telling an ensign that HE knows the#captain would not appreciate being referred to as 'ma'am'#Janeway & Tuvok: what if 'you're right as usual' could be our always?? <- something's wrong with them#AAAAAAAAA 'they're worried about you' (Vulcans do not worry) 'they...miss you.' (...as I do them.)#Then Janeway immediately rising with her wide eyes and promising to get him back to them like she's making a blood oath AAAAA#H E ALREADY MISSED THEM. HE ALREADY MISSED THEM AND THE Y ALREADY MISSED HIM.#Tuvok is the 'I lived bitch' meme twiceover but specifically to T'Pel#Tuvok's goes undercover with the Maquis - The Maquis ship is lost - Voyager is lost - Voyager is found but thousands of light years away -#AND YET HE MAKES IT BACK TO HER IN THE END#NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN!!!! I'LL CRAWL HOME TO HER!!!!!!#Anyway Janeway and Tuvok would make a blood oath to each other about anything they are so dramatic and duty bound#O H MYGFUCKING GOD IS THAT NEELIX~!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!#HI NEELIX~!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3 HIII!!!#Janeway (to some guy she found in a dumpster): My Name Is Captain Kathryn Janeway Of The Federation Starship V-#Also I love Neelix trying to act like 'oh there's just ONE thing really you could get me to make me cooperate...'#when the one thing is LITERALLY water...GIRL....!!!! HE 'S DYING!!!#me seeing the scene where Tuvok meets Neelix: WOOW just like leolaroot's moth to the flame music video!!#Tuvok's speech pattern my beloved <3#'I aSsure you that everything in thisrom HAS a specific fuuunctiooon.'#B'Elanna: (so scared she's literally shaking) Sorry I'm just freaking out bc I'm Klingon#BABY. GIRL. NO. YOU ARE /NOT/.#how she pronounces her name changes...here she says BAY-lanna instead of BUH-lanna#livetweeting
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Okay so basically my stress levels are like a fucking soda can. And the soda can has been in the back of a car for my whole life. And occasionally it gets jostled but it's still okay. But past months the car is GOING ON A ROAD TRIP with UNLIMITED FUEL on the BUMPIEST ROADS POSSIBLE. So one day that soda can is gonna break open and!! Who knows what's gonna fucking happen not me!! All I know is oh boy it won't be good!!!!!!
#vent#i'm not okaaaaaaaaay#but it's fiiiiiiineWHY WON'T MY BROTHER JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP IT'S SIX IN THE MORNING YOU LOUD FUCKING NUISANCE#I'M THIS CLOSE TO JUST SNAPPING I SWEAR I CAN'T HANDLE ANY MORE BULLSHIT#chara don't look#dimond don't look#i don't want you guys to see me like this#you guys got enough on your plate#you're probably gonna look anyway if you see it's tagged as vent#i'm sorry#i'm really really sorry#i love you guys i don't want you to worry about me please don't worry about me#i can handle it alone promise#it's probably because i should be asleep by now and that's why i'm crashing
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If you say too many words I don't understand I'm just unfollowing
#i feel like im aging at an exponential rate because I dont know shit#i dont know what you guys are talking about#unfollowing people who publicly say their dnis like "if you like this just unfollow me:#dude i have NO clue what you're fucking talking about#anyways im unfollowing anyways because this is inflamatory and annoying#brother dont worry about it i promise i didnt follow you because i like you#arent you guys embarrassed?? isnt this embarrassing???#id be humiliated
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Guess who's siiiiick! Because I simply cannot catch a fucking break!
#felix speaks#god....strike me down#at least I'm less suicidal than yesterday thank fuck#(I was never in danger of DOING anything with that feeling no one has to worry about me in that way I have a will to live I'm ok <3)#(I was just having a Bad Time but the whole time I knew it was a temporary feeling I promise <3)#I'm still fuckin miserable tho#I did cave and buy/play a certain game yesterday tho lmao I finished it this morninggggg ough#well technically I finished HALF of it lmao I do have to do the decay route at some point#episode 3 when lmao ANYWAY! I want it on record that I had written over 100k words of Strange Violence before I'd even heard of Coffin ok?#also now that I've actually played it...there are Many Many difference between it and SV#but anyone with only superficial knowledge of one or both stories would probably be under the impression that SV is just Coffin in space#it super isn't lol THO I am very tempted to try drawing Sirena and Tobias in Coffin's style ngl but I am admittedly Bad at copying styles#also if you're wondering which version of the burial route I took I want you to think about Strange Violence and then take a wild guess#if you have No Idea what the fuck I'm talking about...cheers. the important bit of this post is that I'm sick and unhappy about it lmao
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I’m so fucking delulu I make up scenarios about my faves and it kind of scares me but I do try not to mix my social life with my private and it’s working great but Damm I try everything to stop being delulu but nothing works I try to give myself a break from them but I’m still delusional 😭🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭🪦🪦
Sorry for the rant I don’t have friends that are my age or that would understand ( tbh I only own one but she would understand )
As a fanfic writer- that's kind of what I do here- I love making up fantasies about my faves. It's okay. It only ever is a problem when you can't separate reality from fiction/fantasy. Like as in: if you think your fave should/can only ever be with you. That's not cool. And you'd need to do more than touch grass. But it's okay to make up fantasies. 🥰
Making up fantasies to get you through your day about your faves is not a big deal I promise. It's okay to be 'delulu' and make fantasies- if it makes you happy it can't be that bad.
[Now this is where I have to state that delusions are a real like mental disorder. And some people do experience them to the point where they can longer differentiate reality from fiction. (I have a whole ramble I could talk about with the word delulu and how hurtful it can be to people who truly experience it. But I like the fun/joking aspect of it so it's a thin line)]
Don't apologize- feel free to come to my ask box/messaging thing as much as you wish. Tbh when you have genuine friends; they'll never judge but sometimes tease. I'm sure if she's a genuine friend she'd understand. And would want to hear about your faves. (as long as you let her talk about her obsessions too) She may not get it, but that doesn't mean she won't listen.
And if that doesn't sit well with you. I promise you, that you'll find people that will understand and (in some cases) make up fantasies/stories with you. [Now you can always go my route and write about them. You don't ever have to publish them, but it may make you feel better to have them written down!]
"I can't get through a single a day without some made up fantasy" - Grumpter's Fever Dream
Lastly, again feel free to come to my ask box and talk about your fantasies if you wish :) I'd love to hear em cause I'm always making them. I promise it's okay and isn't scary, you're okay.
#anon ask#i suppose: advice for anon#i hope this answer doesn't feel all over the place but it prolly is#anyways I promise you'll find the balance :) even if it's small-#don't let it scare you- you're okay#i hope this helps? or makes you feel a little better- you're alright i promise- you're having fun and that's what matters here#i could talk about my dealings with mental health and why my fantasies came about- but that won't be helpful- and esp because i've#done a lot of healing and journaling and writing to make my health better- but i still make up fantasies cause it's fun for me & helps me#get thru my day still hehe- but seriously this isn't a serious issue unless you feel like you have a claim over your idols because i promis#you don't... but as long as you recognize that- you're good- you don't have to worry- i promise#asks#am i rambling prolly#kate rambles#anon#anonymous#anon asks#'delulu is the solulu' dear as mr. kev said
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Light On - single mom/neighbors fic
Simon Riley/female reader
Prompt: Your apartment floods. Inspired by and for @liliumbosniacum
"I need to take leave."
Simon's phone is pressed against his face, one hand holding the device, the other with a canvas bag in his hand, it's contents overflowing: blankets, baby clothes, your pillow.
"Everything alright?" Price sounds suspicious, but more curious than anything, and Simon sighs.
"Neighbor's flat flooded. She's got nowhere else to go so I'm letting 'em stay with me for a while." Price, thank fucking god, doesn't push it any further, disconnecting with a rumble about checking in with him next week, wishing him a happy holiday, and a parting good luck.
When he hangs up, you're standing hesitantly in his doorway, pile of clothes in your arms.
"That the last of it?" He asks, and you nod.
"Are y-you sure this is okay?" You're still upset, shaken, and he doesn't blame you. You were terrified when you woke up to bone chilling, ankle deep water, frantically shouting about a burst pipe into the phone over Emmaline's shrieks.
"It's okay, sweetheart. I've got plenty of room." He does. His flat is larger than yours, and though they're both two bedroom floor plans, his bedrooms are bigger, and he has two bathrooms, compared to your one. "I got the crib reassembled in the guest room." He motions to the door that's half opened, a few bags of Emmaline's stuff collected on the floor.
"Thank you." you murmur, and then step forward, burying your face in his chest. He holds you there, rubbing your back, working his thumb into the knot that sits at the base of your neck. “At least we saved the tree,” you laugh, wet and sad, and he hums, bowing to press his lips to your forehead.
“I’m sorry love.”
“It’s alright.” You shrug. “Nothing I could control.” You’ve got a point there, and he appreciates the approach, marvels at your ability to not be angry or frustrated with your neighbor, even though it wasn’t really their fault as well. He’s irritated for both of you, anxious over visualizing what would have happened if the chunk of the ceiling that fell was misplaced and landed on you, or Emma.
You pull away, face twisted up into something that looks painful, tears on your lash line, and he frowns. “Hey, hey. It’s okay, sweetheart, c’mon. It’s alright.”
“I know.” You cry, clamping your hand over the bridge of your nose and trying to turn away. “It’s just all her gifts we-were in my room and now they’re ruined, and-“
“Okay, so we’ll get more. We still have plenty of time.” He reassures, rubbing his palms up and down your arms until you come back to him, letting him fold you back into his embrace. “We’ll fix it. Don’t worry.”
“We will?” You sniffle, and he nods.
“I’m on leave, until after the holiday, so I’ll be around, we can go shopping and replace everything. It’s going to be alright. I promise.” That word slips out of him again, promise. I promise, just like he told you this morning when you were frantic and he said it was okay that you stayed with him, I promise, just like he assured last night when you apologized for Emmaline crying for most the evening. “Okay?” His chin rests on the top of your head, and he turns to kiss you, the touch as soft as he can manage. You hum, and then sigh into him.
“Okay Simon.”
“I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No.” His refusal is immediate, and you look at him in near exasperation.
“Simon I can’t kick you out of your bed! You’re too big for the couch, anyway, and I don’t mind, I’ve slept on a couch plenty. Plus I’ll be able to hear better, when Emmaline wakes-“
“Sweetheart.” You’re in the living room, bouncing Emmaline in your arms, walking back and forth in front of the fireplace. She’s wearing a red and white striped onesie, like a candy cane, and Simon chuckles when she makes grabby hands at him as he approaches. You sigh, and he tucks his hands under her, lifting her away and into his arms, pleased at how you instantly relax and stretch your back and shoulders in response. “Think you’re getting too big for mama, baby girl.” You roll your eyes, playfully knocking your elbow into his side, and he grunts. “You’re not kicking me out of my own bed.”
“No?” You turn with a hand on your hip, other one holding a half full bottle.
“No, well. I mean-“ he falters, suddenly losing his confidence. “I’m happy to let you have it, or…” He can’t get the words right, can’t communicate what it is he wants to tell you, too worried about scaring you off or being too forward, pushing you too far.
“Or?” You look so pretty, standing in his flat, your belongings, Emma’s, strewn about, just your presence alone making this place feel more like a home than it ever has before. He feels dizzy, overflowing with emotion when Emma lays her head down on his chest, and you smile at her, looking back up at him, delicate, sweet smile on your lips. He bends, tilting your face upwards to meet his, lips ghosting against one another as Emma coos from his arms.
“Or… we can share it.”
#me slowly pressing my dolls together like#peaches writes#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#light on
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"are you crying?" little 10 year old al-haitham says, in a bored voice. it's clear that he's just asking for the sake of asking – of checking up on you, the little boy is so ready to dive back into his books.
"n-no! i'm not... i promise."
"okay then. i'll go back to my books."
he feels the guilt pooling at the bottom of his stomach – there is something that feels innately wrong, leaving you on the playroom floor with a probably still-bleeding scratch – but he takes your words at face value.
you're fine.
"are you crying?" a much older al-haitham lifts your chin up by his thumb – your glassy tear-streaked face betrayed by the salty tears running down with their own will.
he thumbs your tears away with such gentleness that makes you think that he's making up for all the times little al-haitham had been so callous about your little self's tears.
"no! i'm not... i promise."
"you do realise that it's alright to cry?" your lover sighs, grabbing a tissue and dabbing the glistening tears away.
"uh-huh."
you're not fine – you love to say that you are, anyways. it's easier to brush the lamentable sadness away when your smile feels easier to put on.
"you can stop lying now, you know."
"i'm not crying!"
al-haitham just shakes his head and gathers you in his arms, placing a sweet kiss to your forehead; a subtle nod to a fate well learnt. you will always say that you're fine, crumbling to pieces . . . but don't worry. he'll always be there to help put you back together.
#genshin x you#genshin x y/n#genshin x reader#genshin x gn reader#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x gn reader#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x y/n#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x gn reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x y/n#― latest brew.#alhaitham fluff#genshin fluff#alhaitham drabbles#genshin drabbles
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Family Vacation
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Warnings: smut!
You and Lando have been dating for half a year now and the time has finally come to meet his family. You've been putting off that obligation as long as you could, but Lando was too eager for you to meet them given the fact that he fell hard for you. Lando never introduced any of his previous girlfriends to his parents because he never felt that something with any of them to take that step.
But when it comes to you.. He never had a doubt in his mind. You may not have been his first girlfriend, but you were the first one he was sure of.
And so as soon as Lando had a week off from racing, he took it upon himself to organize a family vacation. You hesitated at first because you were racking your brains about whether they would like you, what topics you'd talk about, what if you say something wrong in front of them and similar things to which Lando just laughed sweetly.
It took him two days to convince you that everything will be fine, that you don't need to worry about anything because he will be by your side all the time and won't leave you alone at any moment.
You trusted him and you felt safe next to him and you also knew that you were probably worrying for no reason so soon five days in a hotel in Mallorca with his family didn't sound so bad anymore.
And it wasn't bad at all. Already after the first day spent with them you felt more than accepted. Everyone loved you immediately. Lando didn't let go of your hand as he had promised, but when he saw you chatting alone on the beach with his mom, he beamed.
In the sun on the beach and in good company, the days were passing quickly. You were all together at the beach and at family dinners every day. You and Lando didn't have much time for yourself, but that wasn't the goal of this trip anyway, so you weren't complaining.
But Lando though.. Towards the end of the vacation he started to get impatient. Too eager for you. You hadn't seen each other for two weeks before this and it was getting too much for him to not feel you for that long.
You were loud and clear about no sex while his family is with you even though you were in the hotel, but still you didn't feel comfortable and you weren't gonna risk getting yourself into any awkward situations.
But Lando was tempted.
"Lan can you put lotion on my back please?" You asked after getting out of shower and drying yourself off.
"Sure, come here."
You got sunburned after lying on the beach all day. Your skin was really red so after showering you put on your bikini again to let your skin breathe and absorb the lotion.
Lando was sitting out on the balcony that had a nice lounge set with a sofa, coffee table and a chair. You found him sitting on the sofa and scrolling through his phone. You sat down beside him turning him your back and moving your hair out of the way so he can rub the lotion all over your back.
"Fuck baby, you're so red" He says looking at your burning skin.
"I know, it's really bad" You sigh.
"Does it hurt you?" He asks gently pressing his hand against your skin watching as the white print remains when he removes it.
"Yeah.."
He scoots closer to you and squeezes the lotion into his palm and slowly begins to spread it all over your skin. As the cold cream hits your hot skin, you let out a long low moan in satisfaction. It comes as the music to Lando's ears making him gulp burning his eyes into your back as his hands moved in circular motions.
"Feels good?" He asks.
"Mhm..so good" You let out another moan completely oblivious to the fact that it made his blood rush down to his cock.
His fingers found the strings of your bikini top as he slowly untied them letting them fall down to your sides.
"What are you doing?" You chuckle putting your hand over your boobs to keep the bikini on while the other hand keeps holding your hair up.
"Just making sure I get the lotion everywhere" He smirks attaching his lips to your perfectly exposed neck as his hands move to your front side under your bikini top.
"Lan, stop.." You whisper leaning back into him letting your head rest on his shoulder as he keeps squeezing your boobs.
"I can't" He murmurs before lightly biting your neck. "I've been hard all day watching you in that tiny bikini." His hand slowly trails down your stomach sneaking inside your bikini bottoms while his other hand remains up playing with your nipple. "Can't take it anymore."
"I c-can literally hear your parents t-talking.." You barely manage to get the sentence out trying to warn him that your balcony is next to theirs, but Lando ignores your concern.
"I know you want it, I can feel how wet you are" He says pulling you closer to him as his fingers glide over your wet folds. "You just gotta be quiet, baby"
You wanted to resist him, but you just couldn't bring yourself to. It's been more than two weeks, way too long, since the last time he made you cum and you craved it as much as he did. So when Lando asked "you gonna be quiet for me?" you found yourself nodding carelessly and eagerly.
"That's my good girl" He says quietly kissing your shoulder. You swallow a moan as he attaches his finger to your aroused clit that was aching for pressure.
"You like it when I touch you there?" The profanities that he was whispering into your ear while he was doing such dirty things to you out here on the balcony, where anybody could hear you and see you, turned you on like never before. You nodded at his question unable to open your eyes knowing that if you had tried to speak, you wouldn't have been able to cover your loud moans.
"Did you touch yourself while I was gone?" He asks again slipping two of his fingers inside you making your hips grind against them.
"Fuck, Lando.." You whine gripping on his hand that was fingering you.
"Did you?" Your cheeks flushed at his question. No matter how horny you were, you were still too shy to admit that you touched yourself to the thought of him almost every night. "Don't get shy on me now, baby. I won't let you cum if you don't answer me." He teased.
"I did" You whimper biting your lip.
"Was it as good as when I do it?"
"N-no. Your fingers feel much better."
"I know, baby, I know" He groans at your confession adding the third finger in and quickening his pace in and out of you determined to have you make a mess on them.
"I can feel you clenching already. Missed my touch that much?"
"Yeah, uh-I'm-ah-" He didn't even need any warning from you that you were about to cum. He knew it when he felt your body tremble so he put his hand over your mouth as you turned into a hot mess under his touch finishing all over his fingers.
He calmed you down by leaving lazy kisses all over your neck down to your shoulder. When your breathing became steady and controlled again, you finally turned around to face him.
He put his hand against your cheek looking at you with parted lips as his thumb slid over your bottom lip. His other hand palmed the bulge that was popping out through his shorts.
"You gonna be a good girl and spread your legs for me?" He asked untying your bikini and completely removing it from your body.
"Make yourself comfortable" You smirked giving him a quick kiss before standing up between his legs. He remained sitting when he pulled down his shorts closely following your every move. Before you were about to settle down on his cock between his legs he stopped you turning you around so that your crotch was aligned with his face.
"Wanna taste you" Your fingers tangled into his hair as his tongue worked over your slit collecting your juices and swallowing it only to have him spit out his saliva against your pussy. You moaned as you felt drips of it sliding down your thighs.
"Fuck, can't get enough of you" He sighed gritting his teeth.
You turned around again and crouched down holding onto his thighs. His eyes rolled back in his head as you sunk down on him. His hand rested on your lower back, his eyes locked on his favorite view - you bouncing up and down on him.
"Taking me so well..fuck" He says moving his hands to your hips and slowing you down. You slowed down your movements then stopped moving completely. You started squirming on him so you could feel him deep inside you before restoring the fast pace.
He was groaning, cursing quietly under his breath as you worked your hips against him. It took you by surprise when he abruptly pulled his cock out of you.
"Ahh, fuck, baby" He sighed pressing his cock against your butt and smearing the precum that was leaking from his tip against you ass cheek. "gonna make me cum early"
"Lan, put it back inside me" When you went back to your previous actions, he was already on the edge. He tried to stop you again, but you didn't let him instead you kept going urging him "fill me up, Lan"
"Baby, fuck, I'm gonna cum, oh fuck.." His voice quivered before shooting his load inside you. You kept riding him through his orgasm making his head fall back against the sofa as his hands gripped your hips tighter making you wince a little.
As you stood up, he watched as his cum ran down your thighs. He sucked in a harsh breath at the sight that almost made him hard again.
"Come here" He said pulling you down to him. You sat beside him and put your legs over his lap. He put his arm around you and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "You did so good" He said and you blushed a little.
"I love you, baby" He whispered before lifting you up into his arms and taking you into the bedroom.
#lando norris imagine#lando x reader#lando norris#lando norris x you#lando norris smut#lando norris x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x y/n#f1 smut#f1 one shot#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 blurb#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#lando norris fluff#lando norris one shot#lando norris blurb#formula one x reader
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Hi idk if you're accepting requests but I literally just read the amnesia fic, and I was wondering if I could request where reader suddenly remembers everything, and sprints around base trying to find them, and just jumps on them crying and apologizing for forgetting them. Just some really fluffy comfort? It's okay if you don't want to write this lol
the 141 when you have amnesia – p2
note: i have received your therapy bills :)
wc: 5.2k
warnings: still a bit angsty I'm sorry I couldn't resist, fluff, hurt/comfort, mild injury and blood, happy endings for all I promise
ao3
[part one]
price
✹ john thought your initial reaction was a good sign. you seemed to be taking things well, considering the extent of your injuries, and it was only a matter of time before your memories returned.
✹ your spirits are high when you're reintroduced to the team, and though you don't remember them either you do say they feel familiar, which he takes as a good sign for your recovery.
✹ when you're finally discharged, he takes you home, to the house that the two of you bought together. he shows you the photos of the two of you that decorate the walls, fondly retelling the stories of each one to you even though you were there, and these are your pictures.
✹ if you notice the way he chokes up when you get to your wedding photos, you don't say anything.
✹ like the true gentleman he is, he insists on sleeping on the sofa and leaving you to take the bed, despite your protests about it being his home too. even though you were receptive, he would never risk making you uncomfortable by sleeping in the same bed when he was, essentially, a stranger.
✹ in all your years of marriage, he's never slept on the sofa before. the two of you rarely go to bed without each other, apart from the times you're separated by your job, and consequently he finds himself not getting much rest.
✹ you're still on leave while you're physically recovering from being in a coma, so john has to go to work without you every morning, something he also hasn't done since you got married. he wishes he could bring you with him anyway, just to have you near him, but he knows that's selfish and you still need time.
✹ the base is dull without you.
✹ again, he keeps up the appearance that he's okay, and maybe it's a little more true this time now that you're actually awake, but he still feels your absence like a weight on his shoulders.
✹ the other three are pleased amongst themselves about your recovery, gaz and soap constantly asking him how you are; and he knows they mean well, but it's still irritating because how could you be okay? you don't even remember your own husband, nothing about this is okay.
✹ he keeps his grievances to himself though. he's still their captain, he can't afford to fall apart when he still has a job to do.
✹ he's woken up one night by soft footsteps in the living room. his neck aches as his eyes snap open, every sense on high alert until he realises it's just you. a quiet grunt escapes him as he sits up, massaging his sore muscles from sleeping on the sofa.
✹ when the sound of muffled crying reaches his ears, he's immediately on his feet, his heart racing as he shuffles over to where you're standing with a hand covering your mouth.
✹ he presses a hand to your back, rubbing soothing circles between your shoulder blades. you don't look at him, your crying only increasing in volume now you're not worried about waking him.
✹ now that he's right next to you, he sees through the darkness that you're holding one of your wedding photos. it's his favourite picture, the one where he's lifting you with an arm around your waist and you're both gazing into each other's eyes with the most lovestruck expression on your faces.
✹ "i– i know i love you, so wh-why can't i just remember you?" you sputter in between sobs, and you might as well have just ripped his heart out of his chest, because he can't stop the way he breaks down at your words.
✹ john wraps both arms tightly around you, caging you to his chest and nestling your head into the crook of his shoulder while pressing his own tear-stained face into the top of your head.
✹ "it's alright, love–" his voice cracks pitifully, and he's never felt quite as hopeless as he does in this moment. "it'll be alright, you'll remember, i promise…"
✹ he's not sure who he's trying to convince, you or himself as you both sink to the floor in each other's embrace. you stay like that for hours, crying for your lost memory into the early morning.
✹ after that, he can't be bothered to pretend he's okay anymore.
✹ he starts drinking again, shamelessly in the middle of the day and grumbling at gaz and ghost when they wrestle the bottle away from him. he knows you'd disapprove, but the toll of lying to himself and everyone around him has caught up. all he wanted was his partner back, the love of his life, you.
✹ the others try to knock some sense into him, but talking to him becomes like going back and forth with a brick wall. gaz even gets kate on the phone to yell at him, but nothing seems to get through. he orders them to leave him alone, stop asking about you, and it really feels like he's lost hope.
✹ it goes on like this for a week straight, nearly a full month since you first woke up.
✹ and then one boring afternoon, there's a commotion outside his office. john hears cheers and shouts from down the corridor, but he can't bring himself to care enough to investigate.
✹ he's not in the mood to celebrate whatever it is they're cheering about anyway.
✹ john's just about to stand and yell at them to shut up, but then you're suddenly standing at his door, slamming it behind you as you rush over to his desk. his face must be the picture of surprise as he swivels in his chair to follow you as you approach, opening his legs for you to stand between them.
✹ his breath catches in his throat as you cup his face, your touch so tender it has his heart hammering against his sternum like the very first time you touched him all those years ago. he plants his hands firmly on your hips, too afraid of getting his hopes up to say a single word as he watches you get closer.
✹ your face hovers just above his, warm breath fanning over his face as you inch ever closer. he sees your eyes glistening before they flutter shut, brushing your lips against his with an anticipation that has his skin tingling.
✹ when you pull away, his eyes stay closed, but he can hear the smile in your voice when you whisper,
✹ "i remember you now."
✹ his heart might’ve actually stopped at your words, surprise shooting through him like a bolt of lightning as his eyes snap open.
✹ in a second, he's lifting you by the waist and dropping you onto his desk, uncaring for the various papers that he brushes out of the way to make room for you.
✹ he can't stop the overjoyed laugh that rumbles in his chest now he's the one standing between your legs, gripping your face and pushing his lips back against your with all the passion he's been bottling up during your recovery.
✹ you smile into the kiss too, wrapping your arms securely around his neck, running your fingers up his neck and through his hair. it feels like a weight has lifted, something heavy in the back of his mind finally dissipating and allowing him to relax into your hold.
✹ the two of you break away after a moment, keeping him close to you as you press your forehead to his. "i'm sorry that i ever forgot you."
✹ "i can think of a way you can make it up to me, love…"
gaz
✹ you're so apologetic about your amnesia, it breaks his heart all over again. what's worse is that he has no idea what to do; he doesn't want to try and force you to remember, that would just stress you out more, but he wants you to remember him so desperately he feels it ache in his bones.
✹ in the end, he decides to just let things play out. he wants you to recover at your own pace, and not just because of him and how he feels about you.
✹ he also doesn't say a word about your relationship, but with how he initially reacted, he's sure you got the idea. you don't mention it either, which admittedly hurts a little, but he's sure the confusion of waking up to having a boyfriend who's name you don't even know is worse than how he feels about it.
✹ kyle vows to take care of you the moment you're discharged. he takes you to your room, shows you where everything is, makes sure you know where he is should you ever need anything, and he even introduces you to the others again.
✹ you still remember your job and how to do it so, once you're physically well enough, you get right back to it. they carry on as normal, the rest of the taskforce – assimilating you back into their nights of drinking and fucking around as if you'd never left.
✹ kyle still doesn't feel right about it.
✹ he doesn't want to treat you like glass, because you're exactly the same as when he first met you. you're still quick-witted, stubborn, and one of the toughest people he knows, you just… don't know him.
✹ it kills him on the inside, but he stays strong for you; the last thing he wants is to become the mess of a man he was when you were out, he doesn't want you to see him like that. he sorely misses spending his nights with you, and talking endlessly about your days to each other. he sends you longing glances every time you look away, wondering if you'd ever feel the same again.
✹ if you can go back to living normally, why can't he?
✹ but as the weeks go by, kyle notices how you start to withdraw, the loneliness that blocks out the light in your eyes that he loves so much. you fade into the background of conversations, sticking to listening rather than engaging.
✹ you watch them from afar, and he still knows you well enough to know what's going through your head. feeling somehow like you belong and also like an outsider at the same time, wishing you could understand the inside jokes you were a part of.
✹ he wishes more than anything that there was something he could do – make you understand that you're wanted, and you're a valuable part of the team even without your memories, but any time he brings it up you simply brush him off with that far away look in your eyes.
✹ three weeks go by before anything changes.
✹ it's the first time in a while they finally have an afternoon off, so of course they decide to spend it playing football on one of the fields within the bounds of the base. soap and ghost on one team, gaz and the captain on the other, with you spectating and keeping score on the sidelines.
✹ kyle offered to sit out if you wanted to play, but you'd brushed him off with the excuse of wanting to rest and read your book, laying out your jacket on the grass to sit on.
✹ he could tell you weren't all there, but he didn't know how to help you; so he just reassured you that you could call him over if you needed anything, and left you to guard his own jacket and water bottle before running off to join the game.
✹ the whole time he was sprinting around the field, he couldn't stop looking over to you over by the sidelines. he wasn't with it, he hadn't been since you woke up, really, and the others could tell.
✹ price abruptly calls half-time, clapping gaz on the shoulder and giving him a knowing look. "just talk to 'em, before it eats you alive." he chides, pushing him in your direction before he can think to protest.
✹ with a deep sigh and a glace backwards to the others, who shoo him away without a word, he jogs over to where you're sitting. the way the late afternoon sun hits you just right stops kyle dead in his tracks when he catches how it glows in your eyes. he feels a pull in his chest as he approaches you.
✹ you look up from your book as his shadow reaches you, shooting him a tiny smile as he drops himself next to you. he takes a swig from his water bottle as he catches his breath, extremely conscious of the way your teammates are pretending not to watch him while he comes up with the words.
✹ "so, who's winning then?" you ask, turning so you're facing him. he sees how your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes.
✹ "aren't you supposed to be keepin' score?" kyle chuckles, shifting slightly closer to you as you look away with a bashful expression. he allows your hands to brush, wanting nothing more than to lock your fingers together.
✹ "i'm not really paying attention."
✹ there's a beat of silence and that helpless feeling is back as he watches you look back out to the field, where the others are still kicking the ball back and forth.
✹ "how you doin'?" he asks, keeping his voice low as he leans in even closer to you. your mouth opens to respond, that slightly off smile back on your face, but before you can he places his hand fully over yours, giving it a comforting squeeze. "actually."
✹ you sigh, heavy and tired, and bring your gaze back over to his. "it's… hard." you begin, your eyes betraying the internal struggle. "and i'm… i know, before, we were–"
✹ he blinks and you're being sent over backwards by a football flying into your face with a smack that makes kyle's ears ring.
✹ immediately he's crouching over you, helping you sit back up and pressing the sleeve of his jacket to your nose, uncaring for the blood that stains it.
✹ "you alright?" he murmurs, gently holding your face as he inspects your nose. you nod, wincing at the movement, and take the sleeve of his jacket from him.
✹ once he's sure you're okay, his vision turns red with anger. it's pretty obvious who kicked the ball when he whips around to see soap kneeling on the ground with his head in his hands.
✹ "oi!" kyle shouts, sending him a deadly glare as he gets up. "soap, what the fuck!"
✹ the man in question looks up from his hands, an incredibly guilty look on his face. "i'm sorry pal! i dinnae ken what happened!"
✹ "just piss off, you prick!"
✹ kyle looks back to you, crouching down again with a concerned frown; but you're already looking at him, the silhouette of his own form reflected in your wide eyes. your nose is still dripping blood, but you drop his jacket and your hands to your lap anyway, mouth agape as you stare back at him.
✹ "what's wrong? are you–"
✹ you cut him off by tackling him to the ground with your arms around his neck, squeezing a surprised 'oof' from him as you land on top of his chest. one of his hands flies to your waist to steady you, the other carefully cradling your head.
✹ "i remember!" you cry, an elated laugh bubbling up as fresh tears wet your cheeks.
✹ kyle lets out a relieved laugh of his own, craning his neck to plant his lips firmly on yours with an infectious grin. in the background the others groan at the display of affection, but neither of you pay them any mind.
✹ eventually the two of you pull away, a wide smile still plastered on both of your faces as you get up from the grass. he pulls you in with the hand that still hasn't moved from your waist and leans to whisper in your ear,
✹ "fancy kickin' soap's arse?"
✹ "you read my mind."
soap
✹ johnny's enthusiastic with your recovery. anyone could've guessed that from the moment you woke up he'd be doting, eager to help you in any way you could need.
✹ yes, you didn't remember him, but be was just so ecstatic that you were okay – apart from the amnesia – that he couldn't find it in himself to be disappointed about it. you'd get your memories back soon enough, and then everything would go right back to the way it was.
✹ sometimes he gets a little carried away, forgets that while you are technically in a relationship, he's not much more than a stranger to you right now. more than once you end up having to ask him for some space because he's so incredibly touchy, and you're not sure how to handle it.
✹ you also request a temporary room to sleep in while you recover, separate from him. johnny's not sure how he feels about it.
✹ he feels that sinking feeling in his chest whenever you push him back with a hand on his chest, a polite smile tugging at your lips. it's disheartening, but he tries not to let it get to him. you'll remember soon, and then this will all be in the past.
✹ maybe you'll even laugh about it, how you could ever forget your wonderful boyfriend.
✹ he takes it upon himself to read up on amnesia, so he can better understand how to help you in any way you might need. once he learns that exposure to memories that you've lost can help your recovery, he eagerly convinces you to let him show you places that have meaning to you and your relationship with him.
✹ you agree, and he didn't actually need to do much convincing because you seem just as interested in the idea as him. he knocks on your door the following evening, offering you a single rose before whisking you away with a charming smile.
✹ he takes you on your first date all over again, with the same level of enthusiasm as before. he treats you to dinner at a relatively nice restaurant, telling you all about how the two of you got together in the first place, and memories you have together. he even orders you dessert, recalling with a chuckle how he accidentally guessed your favourite on your actual first date.
✹ once you both finish eating, he guides you by the hand to the canal for the second half of the date, a romantic moonlit stroll by the water. he pulls you close with an arm around your shoulders, meeting your eyes with a fond smile and a blush dusting his cheeks.
✹ "hold on…" you mutter, a pensive expression taking over your face as you stop walking. you turn to gaze at the water, seemingly working something out in your mind. "this… this is where gaz fell into the river that one time, right?"
✹ johnny's heart misses a beat, his eyes lighting up with renewed, excited hope as he grins at you. "you remember?"
✹ "a little, yeah," you smile, dropping your gaze and hands from his with a sorry scratch at the back of your neck. "the rest is still blank, though…"
✹ his smile falters, but he's quick to make sure you don't see his disappointment by pulling you into a reassuring hug. "that's still somethin'! you'll be good as new in nae time!"
✹ the next morning, he finds you and gaz in the rec room on one of the couches, talking animatedly with each other. that familiar shine is in your eyes, the sight johnny's been missing for the last few months. it makes his heart feel light, finally seeing you acting like your normal self again after so long.
✹ he approaches you both, watching you fondly as you talk and laugh with gaz, but his good mood is soured when you only briefly acknowledge his arrival when he sits down across from you, before resuming your conversation with gaz. his brow twitches downwards.
✹ gaz is one of your closest friends, and he’s glad you remembered him. he's happy that you got part of your memory back, even if it wasn't a part that included him.
✹ this was a good thing. you'd remember him soon, he was sure of it.
✹ a few more days pass until anything else notable happens. while you were in the gym together, you told him you felt a headache coming on, so he offered to walk you to the infirmary for some painkillers. the casual conversation you made on the way wouldn't have bothered him before, but he just couldn't shake the image of you and gaz being so comfortable, while he's still stuck on the outside.
✹ he doesn't say anything though. making you feel bad about it won't solve anything, and it's not like you're doing it on purpose, he knows you wouldn't do that to him. you were just excited to have a familiar face, that's all.
✹ while you're waiting for the medic on call, your head suddenly snaps to attention and you get that same pensive look on your face as that night by the river.
✹ "you got something?" johnny asks, bringing his hand up to rest on your upper back. he doesn't want to get his hopes up, but he can't help the way his heart flutters with optimism.
✹ you nod, a smile growing on your features. "i remember that time lt. dislocated my shoulder, and price basically forced him apologise to me," you laugh, thankfully facing away from johnny as his lips turn downwards, "god, he was pissed, it was honestly kinda funny."
✹ "what, uhm…" he lightly clears his throat, hoping you don't hear the dejection in his voice, "what about me?"
✹ you meet his eyes again with an apologetic shake of your head. "i'm sorry, soap…"
✹ "yer fine, it's–" he swallows thickly, waving you off with an exaggerated smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, "this is good, it's progress."
✹ since then, he's given you more space. it's clear to him that his efforts aren't helping you remember him, it actually feels like it's having the opposite effect. of course, he's glad you remember your friends, but you still don't remember him – your own boyfriend.
✹ it's wrong, and he knows it is, but he's jealous.
✹ he has to watch you carry on like usual, without him. you haven't set foot in the room you used to share together since before you were comatose. he's done his best to disguise how much it hurts, but it still annoys him how no one else seems to notice how wrong it all is. the others don't need you like he does, they don't lay awake at night going over every moment, treasuring the time you called him yours, yearning with every fibre of his being to go back.
✹ it's been a month and a half since you woke up, six weeks of being so close yet so unbearably far from you. he prays to any god that will listen to bring you back to him, allow him to hold you in his arms once more, but nothing ever changes.
✹ the thread he's been hanging on by ever since you went down on that mission gone wrong is one more bad day away from snapping.
✹ he's approached by gaz one morning, while waiting for the others to begin training, who takes it upon himself to ask johnny about how you're recovering. when gaz teases him about how he was the first person you remembered, and johnny thinks he might just strangle him.
✹ "careful, soap, i might steal 'em away," gaz laughs, patting his shoulder with a camaraderie soap scoffs at.
✹ "shut the fuck up." he snarls, his face bunched in a strikingly out of character scowl. his hands twitch at his sides, nails digging painfully into his palms.
✹ gaz blinks, his eyebrows shooting up, clearly taken aback by the hostility from his friend. "alright, i was only jokin', mate."
✹ "aye, well, i'm nae laughin'."
✹ the tension is stifling. he can tell gaz wants to say something more, but he holds his tongue – too worried about upsetting soap any further.
✹ they stand in silence with each other like that for a while, gaz watching him from the corner of his eye while he keeps his gaze firmly on the grass below him.
✹ thankfully, after not too long the uneasy atmosphere is interrupted by a shout from the direction of the building, "johnny!"
✹ his head snaps to attention to see you, grinning uncontrollably and sprinting towards him at full speed.
✹ "wha–" he's caught off guard by how you leap into his arms, hooking your arms around his neck as he stumbles backwards in surprise.
✹ before he has time to question your actions, you're smashing your lips against his in a searing kiss that has johnny's head spinning. he wastes no time in reciprocating, securing one arm around your waist and bringing the other to the back of your head, using it you press you impossibly closer to him as he groans into your mouth.
✹ you reluctantly pull away, just enough to take a shaky breath, but johnny's had stays put on the back of your head. "i'm sorry i forgot, i'm sorry…" you mumble against his lips, dragging your fingers through the unkempt hair of his mohawk.
✹ he drops his head into the juncture of you neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply the scent of you that he's gone so long without. he laughs into you, slightly delirious and just so overjoyed to have you in his arms again that feels his eyes sting with tears.
✹ "i've missed you, bonnie," he chuckles wetly, pressing his lips back to yours in another desperate kiss, "i've missed you so much,"
✹ "i'll never forget you again."
ghost
✹ he avoids you like the plague.
✹ or he tries to, at least. but truth be told, after spending so much time learning to be vulnerable around you and allowing you into his guarded heart, it's difficult to go back to being a stranger to you.
✹ that, and he doesn't actually want to.
✹ but he needs to. being around you, the love of his life, knowing that you don't remember him, it's like a knife stuck between his ribs. any time he's in the same room as you he finds himself fighting the urge to grab your hand, or press his forehead against you.
✹ he knows you don't want him anymore, the last thing you deserve is a giant of a man – who you're clearly afraid of, even if you won't say it – hanging around you like a shadow.
✹ you're still kind to him, because of course you are, checking in on him and trying to talk to him any opportunity you get. it's nice, sometimes he can even pretend everything is normal when he shares a laugh with you, but then he sees the hesitance in your eyes and he's brought back to the cold reality of the situation.
✹ the weeks drag like this, every fleeting look from you another bleeding wound on his heart.
✹ he keeps it together surprisingly well, all things considered, but the breaking point comes when you find him having a smoke one night, on a bench just outside the barracks.
✹ "simon?" your voice cuts through the silence, his eyes snapping to you as you sit down next to him. he takes another long drag from his cigarette as he watches you, uncertainty in your voice as you continue, "can you tell me about… me? and us?"
✹ no matter how much he thinks he should, he can't look away from your pleading gaze.
✹ "we… you're everything to me," simon mutters, dropping his cigarette and putting it out with the heel of his boot, "i've never felt the way i do with you before, you've helped me more than you could ever know…"
✹ his vision blurs with unshed tears. the sadness on your face starts and ache in his heart, the desire to take you into his arms and just hold you making his skin bristle.
✹ "you don't have to feel the same way, but…" he pulls the balaclava from his head, setting it on the bench in the space between you, bearing his face to you like he always does, "even if you never get your memory back, i'll always love you."
✹ the way you look at him makes it so incredibly difficult not to cry. your eyes are glassy and far away, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth with an expression that screams guilt – but it's not your fault, and he'd never blame you.
✹ you open your mouth to say something, but the words never materialise. the night stays silent, and simon expects it, but it still makes his bones ache with a heaviness that he knows he can't shake.
✹ he stands, picking up his balaclava, and walks quietly past you to the barracks door. there's no fleeting look, not this time. he disappears to his room without another word.
✹ he's not sure how much later it is when he hears a knock on his door. minutes, hours, it didn't matter. it all blends together now.
✹ when he doesn't bother to answer, whoever it is lets themselves in, shutting the door gently behind themselves. he sits up with the intention of chewing them out, but when he opens his eyes they land on your form, curled in on yourself and shuffling quickly over to him.
✹ you're here, in his room, with a face that looks like you've been crying for hours, puffy and tear-stained with bloodshot eyes.
✹ he almost thinks he's dreaming, but the warmth as you wrap your arms around him and bring his face to your chest is too real, too familiar. he brings his arms up around your waist, releasing a shaky sigh into your skin as he squeezes you tighter against him.
✹ a few hot tears meet the top of his head as you whisper to him the words he's been waiting, longing to hear, rocking gently from side to side.
✹ "i remember, si."
✹ it feels like he can finally rest, like the state of being he's been living in for the last few months melts away with your touch and he feels safe again.
✹ with his grip around your waist, he hoists you onto his bed to lay back down with him, holding you tightly against his chest, your heart right beside his own racing one.
✹ you cradle his face again, pressing your lips to his face over and over, touching every inch of him with your love.
✹ "i'm sorry…" you whisper like a mantra, punctuating every kiss with an apology that makes his throat constrict with the raw emotion he feels. "i'm sorry,"
✹ "don't be…" he mirrors how you hold his face, tangling his legs with yours as he captures your mouth and pours every ounce of passion he has into the way he kisses you. "don't be, love."
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