You know what would be peak cringe that could keep Twitter users off of here?
Anthropomorphized social media platforms.
Playing off of the old Tumblr X 4chan stuff, Tumblr used to be a bit of a crazy girl who went wild in her youth and had serious far right tendencies. But while 4chan OD’d on Nazism, tumblr weaned herself off of it, and after breaking up with Yahoo, and hooking up with Verizon who tried to turn her into a different more upright person, she finally settled for Automattic.
She was expecting Automattic to be her last BF, and that she’d run herself into the ground for them, but it turns out they’re not that bad and Tumblr’s been getting back their mojo.
Now Tumblr is the in-universe equivalent of a fandom old, running a coffee shop while everything else burns around them.
Major plot developments would be getting something approaching a sex life after Verizon tried to force her to be celibate, desperately begging Twitter to stay with her when she realized that Elon was even more abusive to Twitter than her last BF, and going to 4chan’s funeral/getting into fights with all of 4chan’s kids who drove him to an early grave.